I'm sending a FACEBOOK HUG to all of my friends and family. Those who pay attention and care about me will repost this. 99% of people won't do it, but I know that 1% will.
I actually have 98 friends on Facebook. Unfortunately, there are a few cases of a bitch being one.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:36:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Post one thing you remember about us in the past"
I can hardly remember what I had for dinner last week. And we both know you are not more important than my dinner.
Spoogly ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:17:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god you better hope I don't remember anything embarrassing, or every one of your friends is going to hear about it. I'm just waiting for my one friend to do this, at which point, I will post about his drunken attempts to set up a sleeping bag before I turned in for the night, so that he could just crawl into it later and didn't have to disturb me.
Spoogly ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:30:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At one point, he was just laying on the ground laughing at his sleeping bag and trying (and failing) to stand back up. The best part is I have photo evidence. I am a cruel person to my friends. So far, he's managed to survive almost 5 years without me having to do it, but now he has a girlfriend who is the type of person who might just make him post something like that, and oh I am just so excited.
Macfrogg ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:27:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
unless you are my dinner.
:-)
[deleted] ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 02:06:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhh. First you gotta push the button and then the other thing and one thing after another next thing you know it's time for your show and who can be bothered?
Azrael11 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:46:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do people care about culling their friend list? If you don't feel like talking to that person, don't talk to them. Facebook is great in that you have communication ability with almost any acquaintance instantaneously anywhere in the world (assuming anywhere has WiFi)
It lets you see more content from people you care about and less from the people who annoy you. Sure, you can hide annoying people from your news feed, but those are probably people you don't want to talk to anyway. Cutting people can also make you feel powerful if you need an ego boost. I agree that it's completely lame to make a status about it, though.
VAPossum ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 01:32:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't respond to those, because if our friendship is so fragile it'll be shattered by me not responding to a meme (that I may not even see) then we're probably both better off not being FB friends.
zealer ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:37:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Respond with "I'm taking blow jobs. I'm going to see who my friends REALLY are! Let's see who gives me one!"
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:59:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is a plague. This drives me nuts. Unfortunately, I have more and more family members making posts regarding things that used to be those shitty chain emails.
-post if you love Jesus
-leave a comment if you are my friend
-post one word that describes me
-pray for the repeal of obamacare, repost if you agree
-I'm going to unfriendly you if you don't _______
-repost if Jesus is welcome at your house
-real friends will post, like if you agree
-send this to 10 ppl to be super blessed
And all the other guilt-trippy and racist bullshit that is on Facebook.
Macfrogg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:29:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's actually gone down significantly in my email though. Maybe that's an acceptable trade-off...?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:59:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It really has. Still getting a lot from Nigerian princes and credit card companies though haha. Which does seem less annoying.
Macfrogg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:38:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are there any c4nadian ph4rmacies trying so sell you v1agra or otherwise offering to lengthen your pen1s?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How did you know?!? Did you get the same great offer? All I had to do was give them my credit card and social security number, so easy!
What about any post that has the phrase "I know mist of you won't re-post this, but..." I automatically don't re-post it, even if I agree with whatever it is.
Mike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alright everyone, I'm in the process of removing everyone in not "real" friends with. If we haven't talked in the past few months post here why you think I should keep you on here otherwise you're getting deleted!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Once I posted "Unfriend me to get a free iPad!"
Banthrau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a "friend" delete me because I never talked to her. Funny, I don't remember you talking to me either... It basically felt like she expected me to entertain her. Good riddance.
jaxxon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The original meaning of that quote was basically: if you wont care for me when I'm ill then you don't deserve me when I'm at my best. But people like to take somewhat smart sounding quotes and bastardize them to their own agendas, sometimes even butchering the thing by removing key context parts to fit their own world view.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:45:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah precisely. It's an excuse to act like an asshole just because once in a while they act like a decent human
The only place I've ever heard this is through the endless complaints about it on reddit.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 11:26:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was more common a few years ago on Facebook, and women have been using it as an excuse for bad behavior for decades. It's attributed to Marilyn Monroe because apparently dying young makes you right about everything.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it just means you didnt live long enough to be proven wrong
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:45:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't see this shared on facebook a lot? Lucky you
Nope, never. Are you still in school though? It sounds like the kind of thing I'd imagine teenagers sharing. I found that by and large my Facebook feed became more mature after I went to uni.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow I'm already past uni and I still see it now and again
Yes, girls have been co-opting that phrase for years now. I look at comments like that as clear indicators of a lack of imagination and therefore a lack of worth.
rockidol ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:56:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively any variation of "bitch is just a term people use to describe a strong independent woman who don't take no crap"
What that tells me is that
A. You get called a bitch a lot and
B. You won't consider the idea that you get called a bitch because you're a bad person
Riggybee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! Like, I'm called a bitch sometimes. It happens. I'm not always 10000% pleasant. But am I going to excuse it by saying shit like "I'm just strong!!"?? Hell no dude, sometimes I'm a cold hearted bitch and I'm sick of putting up with stuff. Am I proud of it? God no, I always feel awful afterwards, but there's only so much I can take, you know?
Sorry, I rambled.
rockidol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know what you mean, no one's perfect or nice all the time. And sometimes the person calling you a bitch is just wrong, but 9 times out of 10 they're not calling you a bitch because they're intimidated by how strong you are or whatever.
Riggybee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha exactly. Although, sometimes being called a bitch is completely unwarranted. Regardless, it's not something someone should take pride in
I have a friend who says that. He's not an asshole. He's afraid of conflict in general...
Riggybee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I say it ironically, because I'm really not an asshole/bitch 100% of the time. I think I'm pretty... Nice? Sincere? Oblivious? Most of the time, I hate conflict.
I say it more of a matter of factly type of way, it just is, rather than being proud of it
Riggybee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is saying it's who you are. Like, when I start dating someone I say stuff like "hey if I'm being unnecessarily bitchy, please tell me because I can't always tell". I know that I am sometimes, but I am never proud of it.
Aye. Was sleeping with a woman for a while who laughed and was extremely proud when saying she was a huge bitch. It actually disgusted me and I no longer talk to her. I'm only an asshole accidentally, and when absolutely necessary. Doesn't jive with me to be proud of it
Riggybee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I don't understand why anyone would be proud? It's like being proud to be homophobic or racist. We get it, you don't have friends, you don't need to be fucking terrible to innocent people, especially people like cashiers or waiters UGHH
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Riggybee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
like, there's this magical thing called tact. you don't always have to be blunt and rude to be honest.
Oh I was planning on heading down to the girlfriend store after next payday
TeamJim ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 13:08:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, get a girlfriend? Just get a girlfriend? Why don't I strap on my girlfriend helmet and squeeze down into a girlfriend cannon and fire off into girlfriend land, where girlfriend grow on little girlfriendees?!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:49:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say that to my mother every time she asks when I'm going to find a 'nice man'. Arrrgh
JEWCEY ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:45:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
JEWCEY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:04 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i have a dog.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:27:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking fuck fuckity fuck!!! Would people quit asking me this!!!! I have a family reunion Labor Day weekend (from Friday afternoon all the way to Monday morning) and I can already hear all my old aunts asking me this. Then my grandmother will say "he'll get a girlfriend when he gets good and ready" in that grandmotherly tone of voice.
Anyone who on Facebook puts their education as "University of life" or "The School of Hard Knocks".
Erg. Those people.
[deleted] ยท 3853 points ยท Posted at 01:20:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Job: CEO of stay at home mommy!!!
[deleted] ยท 1710 points ยท Posted at 03:11:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God, I hate seeing that. That and, "I have the hardest job of all! I'm a mom!"
NPR had a cool "respond with your experience" poll over the holidays a couple years ago. They asked people if they were going to work over the holidays, and if so, what did the people do for a living. There were thousands of responses, and they were all really interesting. Doctors, nurses, surgeons and EMTs. Police and firefighters and other first responders. Soldiers, some of whom were deployed and others who weren't. Restaurant and hotel workers, airline pilots and flight attendants, because a lot of people travel over the holidays. Members of the clergy and crisis counselors, because a lot of people are in crisis over the holidays. Nursing home attendants, morticians and hazmat cleaners, because a lot of people die over the holidays, especially if they're elderly. Tech support, snowplow drivers, retail workers, emergency vets, taxi and bus drivers, just on and on and on--it gave a fantastic sense of how vast our economy is, each part we play in it, and how much we depend on each other without really even realizing it.
And of course, among the fucking pediatric cardiologists and the people who answer the suicide hotline and so forth, of course there were a few women in there who just had to say, "I have the hardest job of all. I'm a mom!"
My mother works a full time job as a teacher and is also still a mom. Go do something useful like volunteer if money isn't a problem and you don't need to work.
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 09:16:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like, I dont give a shit wether you decide to work or not, but for the love of god dont act like you're having it rough being a stay at home mom, my mom always talks about how busy she is with her part time job and yet she finds time to take 3 hour naps daily and never be home when I get home because shes always visiting people.... pisses me off
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:03:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Daily three hour naps? She is living the dream.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:10:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when modern technology has made being a housewife ludicrously easy compared to even just 100 years ago. It actually used to entail a lot of effort, what with making meals from scratch, doing laundry by hand, etc. Now, it's all machines and products and playing with the baby all day.
My parents have also been full time teachers for about 25 years now, and they always made sure they had time for us. We always went on camping trips, went to the fair, and got to do tons of cool stuff, all thanks to the fact that they worked their asses off for me and my sister. And even now they still find time to visit me at college, despite it being ~2 hours away. And my best friend's mom was a stay at home mom, and he had a miserable childhood, because she didn't do shit. And to end my mini rant (sorry, didn't mean to) moms aren't the only fucking parents out there, dad's work hard to raise kids to, so saying "being a mom is the hardest" is also fucked up in respect to all the dads that work their asses off for their kids.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:06:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it seems to me that unless your child has a mental disorder (no.. i'm not talking about your adhd kid) the less difficult your job is, the better parent you have been because your kid isn't an asshole. the parents of assholes seem like they would need to work more because their kids are assholes.
We all know that it's the retail workers that have the hardest job off all around Christmas time.
[deleted] ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 03:59:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I've worked retail over Christmas (technically, I still do, but now I'm corporate), and I'd bet a week's worth of pay at my old cashier wages that the folks who clean up dead bodies have it way, way harder than even my worst Black Friday behind a register. And shit, now all the stores have their Black Friday routine down to a science. (Except Walmart, which apparently still enjoys trampling and riots.)
(Edit: typo)
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 04:58:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 05:00:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a member of the living who may one day require the services of your profession (hopefully not anytime soon), I salute you. I'd still rather cashier on Black Friday though.
Can you explain the multi-story homes thing? Is it just that you have to bring the remains down an extra floor? Do you have to actually carry dead bodies around yourself when it's on another floor, or do you use a gurney?
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:46:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could only imagine the look on your face when you realize the corpse is too big to fit through the front door or any windows. Let alone needing a crane to move.
At that point do you pull out the hacksaw or tear down the wall? What if the deceased was renting and the property owner said not to damage their property to remove the corpse?
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:26:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And as tough as that is, there are people who work on deepwater drilling rigs in the Arctic Ocean. That's always seemed pretty tough to me.
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 04:15:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am probably in the minority, but black friday was better than any day with no customers and my boss would just make up busy work for me to do as the clock slowed to practically a halt.
my first boss wasn't like that. we had a daily, weekly, and monthly checklist. they were all long as hell, and sometimes tedious, but we never had to repeat anything. sometimes they'd even break out stuff that only needs to be done once every few years [i remember the time we sanded down and re-painted all the machines, that was fun], but still. on really quiet days, sometimes, we could just kick our feet up and relax until the next customer came in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black Friday
Huh? What's that and why is there trampling and rioting?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:57:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most retailers have learned over the years to have a well-defined line, to hand out some kind of flyer or ticket for the number of doorbusters they have in stock, to keep said doorbusters under lock and key and to only hand them out to ticket-holders, and otherwise establish some rigorous crowd control. This keeps lines moving quickly, keeps customers from getting too crabby and lets everyone know what to expect.
Then there's Wal-mart, which still does the old-fashioned "let enormous unruly crowd gather outside, then raise the gate and watch all hell break loose" method. At least one unfortunate employee has been trampled to death in the past, and every year there's an injury or a brawl or lord knows what. That may not be every Wal-mart, but you can just about guarantee that if you see something about a Black Friday shopping situation gone horribly wrong, it will have taken place at a Wal-mart.
It's a day when all the idiots go to Wal-Mart and murder each other over a TV that is $5 cheaper than it was the day before.
jerslan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
now all the stores have their Black Friday routine down to a science
Agreed. I did merchandising at a Best Buy for a couple years a bit over 10 years ago... Stuff would be staged Wednesday night so that when we got in at 12:01 AM (and not a second sooner) on Friday Morning we could get it all setup and ready to go for the door-buster at whatever ridiculous hour it was scheduled. Then we got to leave at 8AM after most of the insanity had passed...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in the e-commerce arm of said company, so we spend the latter half of the year going absolutely insane over developing and executing all the Black Friday/November/December deals. It is a trip. Someone laid out a statistic in the aftermath that 25% of all e-commerce traffic in the US passed through the website on Thanksgiving Day. That's insane.
Of course, now the stores open at 8pm*, close at oh-dark-thirty and open again in the morning--because they figured out that it was a waste of money to pay people to sit on their thumbs overnight when all the good deals cleared out by midnight. Hey, why don't we just go back to the way it was and open at 6am or whatever? People will still show up.
Nonetheless, I did do some BF shopping for a few years and I was really impressed by everyone's methodical approach to line management and the big ticket items. It used to be chaos, now it's an orderly experience, and you know the minute you get in line whether you'll be able to get one of the doorbusters. And the customers have also raised their game too--they're in line with their items in under 5 minutes. Huge improvement.
However, I still think the people who have their damn tents on the sidewalk on Wednesday morning need to get a life. Go home!
Of course, now the stores open at 8pm*, close at oh-dark-thirty and open again in the morning--because they figured out that it was a waste of money to pay people to sit on their thumbs overnight when all the "good deals" cleared out by midnight the time the first person walks in through the door.
FTFY
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Technically it'd be more like the 50th person through the door.
I worked at BB at some point. They made a big fuss about some laptop that was going to be supercheap and they had literally 4 of them total.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. There were a few facepalms like that over the years. I think the record-holder for "dumbest deal ever" was a free extension cord with a television. Not a power strip, oh no--that would actually be useful. An extension cord. That was one of those deals where we were embarrassed to even create the content promoting it. Fortunately, that was several years ago, and everyone's gotten tons better at choosing things people actually want to, you know, buy.
Not to mention that Target has had not one, but two spectacular flame-outs over holiday in recent years. Quit redesigning your site and launching it the weekend before Thanksgiving! "Hey, you know what would be great? If it were the busiest week of the entire year, and nobody could figure out how to use our website because it was all different." said nobody ever, and yet Target has done that. Twice. And then the breach, holy shit.
Retail is an interesting world. The stores are only the tip of the iceberg.
SwenKa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black Friday wasn't really much worse than any other day of retail. In fact, it was so busy that your supervisor couldn't pull as much bullshit on you.
I packed a body on ice last month. this month I've just been chilling watching tv, i quit a restaurant job for this one and is much rather do this than retail
_Walt_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah mortuary work is pretty straight forward. 3am phone calls or when you just sat down are really the only times that really sucked to me.
i worked for a department store photo studio over the holidays once. i think i'd rather clean up dead bodies.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised you didn't end up cleaning up dead bodies. I've seen how people can get in those places.
RDCAIA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked retail for a couple years prior to my career as an architect. And honestly, retail even during the holidays was easy. So easy. I mean you'll have some asshole treating you like shit in every job out there. But in retail, it never stressed me out.
One of my friends worked retail and thought it was the most stressful job in the world, which I honestly never ever understood. She now does data entry for a living.
grendus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I figure if you have the stomach for cleaning up dead bodies it's probably not that hard. Soldiers in an active combat zone, bomb technicians, or trauma surgeons probably have it a lot worse.
Trishbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:30 on August 26, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of the coolest things I heard when I worked retail in college was a local radio station taking time to thank those who were fixing to work the Black Friday shopping onslaught. It was nice to feel appreciated
Working a women's retail store, like F21 or H&M is basically like working a Christmas every day.
Taleya ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:12:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cinema workers get slammed as well. Mother fucking boxing day releases. They're the HUGE one down here in Australia. Doesn't sound like much unless you work in the industry, but holy shit so many fucking curveballs get thrown by the studios. Hobbit meant an emergency set of upgrades to anyone with a certain type of player. Keys that don't work. Overburned drives from distros that can't be ingested and you don't get them until the night before opening. Fucking hunger games being released to cinemas with a 7.1 audio that JUST STOPPED MID-FILM. (Which, you know, the cinema owners don't know about until a cinema full of 300 angry fans start yelling)
It's all the fun of a major theatre performance mixed with the clusterfuck of an IT job (and don't get me started on the fucking logistics).
I worked retail for years, and Xmas was the best time. Yeah, people were dicks. But they were dicks all year. Being busy made the time fly by. An 8-hour workday felt like an hour. Plus all that overtime? Plus fucking your coworkers and cute customers?
Fuck, I miss those days, even though I make 4 times now what I did then.
I just finished my contribution to this thread. The TL;DR version of it is basically "Said I'd be house wife if I can't be a general surgeon. Others girls disapprove". Honestly, if I do end up as a house wife and I decided to make that apparent on my Facebook page, I wouldn't put some touchy feely bullshit like the CEO of stay at home mommy clusterfuck. I would put exactly what I would be. House wife.
Sure, being a parent is hard, but it offends me greatly that women in a room full of nursing home attendants, surgeons, soldiers, etc could have the fucking nerve to say they have the hardest job of all. Just put down "mom" and be done with it.
I honestly don't think they mean any offence. Pretty much anyone you meet thinks they've got it bad.
I mean, I still puke when I see it, but I bet even the job of your dreams has its days where you want to strangle an idiot, which is every day as a parent.
geeeeh ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 05:04:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have the hardest job of all. I'm a mom!"
It must be a hard job, because most of them REALLY suck at it.
Granted I've only been a mum for 8 months, but it really is easier than any job I've had before. There's hard times, but it usually just chilling with my little buddy and doing whatever we want. Plus cooking and cleaning and walking the dogs. Pretty sweet fucking deal.
Yawehg ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:08:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it is a really hard job when you do it right. I mean REALLY hard.
The problem is that it's basically impossible for a mom to get fired from parenthood. You can do a shit job and most people would never know. Unlike say, a paramedic, who will get fired very quickly if they're not pulling their weight.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:29:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Parenting is not a hard job. Virtually anyone can do it, and virtually everyone does, regardless of age, educational level or income bracket. Teenagers do it. The worst trailer trash in the world do it. Fucking murderers and drug dealers and sex offenders do it. There is literally no standard for being a parent.
I mean, you even have to go through a few weeks of training and some job shadowing to become a fucking WAITER. You need a couple years of experience and often a bachelor's degree to ANSWER PHONES AT A DESK. You have to get at least one college degree and a certificate to be a teacher. You need to go through 12 years of schooling to work even a single day as a doctor. But literally any fucking idiot can be a parent. And most are.
I agree, but I think the distinction here is that yes, it's easy to be a parent, anyone can do it. It's hard to be a good parent, however. Just because you're a parent doesn't mean you're a good one.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a distinction. Being a good parent is not a requirement for the task. You can be as shitty a parent as you like, and it is a virtual certainty that nothing will happen to you--unless you kill the kid. Beat the shit out of them, starve them, keep them locked in the basement? Keep them home from school, make them live in your DIY meth lab, let all your friends sexually abuse them? No problem. 99 times out of 100, nobody will do a damn thing about it. Not even if it gets reported. For every one kid who ends up removed from their awful parent, there are probably a thousand who just have to deal with it. And then the kids who do get removed probably end up with a foster family who makes Shitty Mom look like Mary Poppins.
So yeah, again--parenting requires no standards.
Gleeman ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:10:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Am I wrong or are you not addressing the point? /u/Yawehg said it's a really hard job when done right. So pointing out that it's physically possible for anyone post-pubescent to sire offspring and obtain the title "parent" isn't exactly relevant?
(And also, why would murderers/drug dealers/sex offenders being capable of something necessarily imply that the thing must be easy?)
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:25:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am addressing the point, which is that it doesn't matter if you do it right or not. Parenting requires zero qualifications and zero performance metrics. There is virtually no repercussion for doing it poorly. I mean, for crying out loud, parents brought back whooping cough because they were so shitty and dumb. We have textbooks that inaccurately portray historical events because parents are so shitty and dumb. We have kids whose parents come along on job interviews because the parents were so shitty and dumb that their college graduate has the coping skills of a 4th-grader.
The same cannot be said of even the most menial job. Even the most menial job requires that the person know what they're doing. Not parenting!
I seriously can't believe that people are trying to justify parenting as a skill. Prove that your kid grew up to be a functioning member of society first. After all, I had to prove my skills for every job I have ever had. Prove yours.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:52:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have got this totally backward in the usual Reddit way, arguing a case that really doesn't exist because you're backed into a corner. A mum may say she has the 'hardest job in the world'. Hyperbole, yes, but you have no idea if they're a good parent or not. They may well be, and therefore will be exhausted from doing the task well.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can, however, say with absolute certainty that they do not have "the hardest job in the world". Their job, in fact, is ridiculously easy compared to most of the professions I named. That's what makes it such an obnoxious comparison.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:13:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course, but your rhetoric took a very harsh turn somewhere between your original post and here. Some folks popped up saying that parenting wasn't as easy as you made it out to be - parents taking umbridge of the fact you lumped them in with murderers and meth heads - and you got super-aggressive. If you think about it, they have a point being a bit pissed at that. I'm in total agreement that even the best, most hard-working parent still hasn't got it as bad as many, many jobs, but you were just too dismissive of parenting as a whole, which I think was harsh to those of us that do exhaust ourselves looking after out kids.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I am too dismissive of parenting as a whole. Parents elevate their parenting into a level of achievement that it doesn't deserve. You do it yourself, right here:
you were just too dismissive of parenting as a whole, which I think was harsh to those of us that do exhaust ourselves looking after out kids.
How does this set you apart from literally everyone else, who has ever exhausted themselves doing anything? How are you different from the college student pulling an all-nighter for finals, or the bartender working a double because someone called in sick, or the aforementioned cop in his squad car on Christmas Day? What about parenting makes your alleged exhaustion any different or more noble than anyone else's exhaustion from their work?
It's not.
parents taking umbridge of the fact you lumped them in with murderers and meth heads
That's "umbrage". I'm pointing out that plenty of murderers and meth heads are also parents. OJ Simpson: parent. Charles Manson: parent. Founder of the Westboro Baptist Church: parent. (The entire congregation is mostly family members.) The absolute worst people you can possibly think of, and guess what--most of them were parents. Or, let's go with the silly ones: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian: parents. Jenny McCarthy, Miss Anti-Vax herself: parent. The fucking Duggars: obviously parents. Octomom: parent. Snooki from Jersey Shore: parent.
My point: being a parent does not actually construe any quality of character at all. Anyone can be a parent. And they'll probably think they're great, not only at parenting, but they will assume that whatever they do as a parent carries greater virtue than anything anyone else does. Every single parent in this thread has said exactly that. Even the insinuation that goes along with asking me, "Do you have kids?" is meant to suggest that I don't really know what I'm talking about because I'm not a parent.
So--again. You are demonstrating precisely the quality that I'm talking about, which is to think that your being a parent deserves the same recognition as people who save lives for a living, or work in critical functions that serve thousands of people. NO, IT DOES NOT.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No I don't, and your inability to comprehend my point shows just how much you are projecting your own experiences. I was saying that it's not cool to belittle people who do work hard parenting, regardless of how that task compares to jobs. Anecdotally, by the way, I feel like I'm escaping when I go yo work at 6.30 every morning, and feel bad for my SO who has to stay at home looking after the baby. This is just an anecdote, but I'm using it to show you how your extreme wording and attitude is a little misguided and unhelpful. Again, I am not suggesting parenting is even a job, let alone a hard one, but if you're a conscientious parent having some self-righteous guy like you piping away is a little maddening.
Edit, and if you haven't got kids then you are in a slightly weaker position as you haven't got the ability to moderate your thoughts based on experience. That's obvious, I would've thought. I work a demanding job and have a 5 month old baby, so I'm in a slightly more balanced position to make a judgement. That's why people ask.
Edit 2: phone typos.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this your first child?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it is. If we have more it will get easier, I'm sure. I think I know where this is headed.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you do. Which is that you have been a parent for only 5 months, you're not even the one staying home with the baby, and the baby itself isn't even crawling yet. Judging from my coworkers who have babies the same age, your kid is probably spending the bulk of its time sleeping, eating, needing diapers changed, and looking at things.
You do not have experience. You are, by definition, inexperienced. You are a brand-new fucking parent. I'd be willing to bet that the vast majority of your information comes from your pediatrician and various baby books. And you in particular aren't even the one doing it! You're at work while other people do it!
This is exactly what I'm talking about. Parents who think that the mere act of having a baby means they have "experience" and "judgment". There is absolutely NO reason for me to assume that you know your ass from a hole in the ground about raising a kid, or about anything else. There is NO reason for me to assume that you won't abuse or neglect your child, or fail to teach it age-appropriate skills, or split up with your SO and decide you're done with this fatherhood thing. MILLIONS of people do that every day. Why would you be any different? Because you're a parent? So are they.
So....once again....parenting does not confer upon you an elevated status of character or skill.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:33:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am clearly more experienced than you which was the point I made about you bitching about people asking if you have had kids. I have some experience, you have none. But this is an irrelevant sideshow.
But back to the main point of all this - I have never said that being a parent confers elevated status or skill. You have made that up yourself for some reason, and the infuriating thing is, I agree with you entirely! I hate folk who seem to thing creating a baby suddenly makes them better. It doesn't. My point, all along, has been that you have been attacking all parents who have been responding to you in this way, regardless of their point. That's why you seem a bit of a prick, as you're pushing your point when it's utterly irrelevant. My point has always been that you stating blunting that parenting is easy, is disingenous and naive, and it actually detracts from your original argument (which I agree with) by making you sound like a teenager proud of their logical reasoning skills. Parenting can be very easy, if you don't care that much about your offspring.
Look, some parents choose to not bother. They choose to do very little and just see what happens. Other parents choose to try very hard. It may never be a job, but some parents would put a great deal of effort into parenting, and having you shouting them down is overly harsh and makes you look a bit mean. So, final clarification - I actually upvoted your point about 'hardest job ever' as it was a good one, and rang true with me. But as I read down the thread you failed to listen to anyone making the very sound point that good parenting is a little harder (though by no means surgeon level, obviously) and just proceeded to shout the same stuff.
Yawehg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never seen someone on Reddit be this patient with someone so obstinate. It's like I'm observing the Buddha.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have to give up now, I'm afraid, as I haven't the time or energy. But thanks, hope you get where I'm coming from. I even still agree with his last response to me, regarding who decides what a good parent is. But that has never been my point. Hey ho.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:22:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, to recap, you think that changing diapers and giving bottles for a few months means you have "more experience than me" (and I've done that, so no, you actually don't); you think that I'm being "disingenuous and naive" when I point out that there are no qualitative standards for parenting and that anyone, no matter how terrible, can be a parent; and you think that I'm being "mean" in pointing this out and I'm "not listening" when people say that good parenting is harder than shitty parenting.
For that last one--how would any of you know? Because you think you're a good parent? You know what, every parent thinks they're a good parent. Anti-vaxxers, child-lead learning, religious fundamentalists who never let their kid out of the house, helicopter parents, functioning alcoholics, people who work 80-hour weeks and hire nannies, potheads who toke up every single day "to relax", even the ones who beat and neglect their kids, or who allow others to sexually abuse them--every single one of them thinks they're a good parent who is "doing their best". Shit, I'm a subscriber to /r/raisedbynarcissists and every single post in that subreddit is about parents who think they're great, when the posters have all gone through some really horrific shit. My parents thought they were great parents too.
So, no. None of you have any credibility whatsoever in telling anyone what "good" parenting is like. You are not the judge of that. Your children are, and society is. If you're a good parent, then that will become self-evident in time. We will tell you if you're a good parent, you will not tell us. And you bet your ass that I'm not going to take your word for it.
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah well then based on your theory and persona, society says your parents fucked up.
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If people are "inexperienced" because they've only been a parent for 5 months and shouldn't spew their opinion on parenting, what makes you think YOUR opinion is valid when you're 0 months experienced and NOT a parent? It can go both ways.
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How are you different from the college student pulling an all-nighter for finals, or the bartender working a double because someone called in sick, or the aforementioned cop in his squad car on Christmas Day"
Now what about the people who do all of these things and are parents?
Not all scenarios are created equally. Some people have posh living environments and nannies and also stay at home as a parent. Some people work 2 jobs to feed their kids and keep a roof over their head, spreading themselves thin and then also come home to parent. Not everyone as a parent is doing it with a partner. Some people have no network of grandparents or babysitters either.
Some people have babies that barely cry, and some people have babies with colic and have to safely shut them in their crib in a room and walk away for their own sanity.
It's not always JUST the bare necessities of raising a kid that's hard, ie. changing a diaper, bathing them, etc. It's also life's compounded responsibilities with child rearing.
Your whole argument is like trying to prove why med school is harder than getting an engineering degree, when both things have their own distinct variables and degrees of difficulty.
Gleeman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if you're trolling at my expense or if that's a novelty account or something, but your post is so non sequitur and filled with inane ranting that I'll limit my reply to just one thing in your post, and I don't intend on revisiting this conversation:
Prove that your kid grew up to be a functioning member of society first.
A bad parent (e.g. one who feeds his or her kid MacDonald's for every meal and allows him or her to permanently vegetate with an iPhone/iPad or something) is less likely to produce a functioning member of society.
A good parent (e.g. one who strives to make meaningful connections with his or her kid, instructs or finds ways to instruct the kid in lessons of moral value or the realization of critical thinking, and compels the kid in ways that help to achieve mental and physical balance/well-being) is going to have to work a lot harder, but is unquestionably more likely to produce a functioning member of society.
Besides, it's not like the child's first 18 years (or whatever length you want to consider) are meaningless and only the end goal is important. The fact that no institution exists to govern performance metrics of parenting (besides for bare minimum to avoid social services...) doesn't mean that it doesn't matter if you do it right or not. Of course it matters. It matters to the children whose lives are being enriched by a higher standard of living, and to those whose lives are impacted by those kids.
Anyone can do it. But to do it well takes effort which includes learning and educating yourself about all kinds of random things that you had no idea that you would ever need to know about. What makes parenting hard is the relentlessness of it. At times is is physically and/or mentally exhausting and it is hard to get a sufficient break when things are tough because you are still the parent.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:51:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The same could be said about pulling a double at Olive Garden.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I (dare I?) ask: do you have kids?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've already answered that question. Why do you think it's at all relevant?
But at the end of that double, you get to clock out. That's all I'm saying. There is no clocking out when you are a parent.
katmiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:38:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
With your sentiment that there's no standard to being a parent and that everyone does it, there's a difference between being a parent and parenting, just like someone can be a father but not a dad. You're basically using the term parent/parenting as an umbrella for everyone who has a kid. Not quite realistic.
True parenting is work, it is 24/7, and it doesn't just stop when your children become adults of turn some magical age. It's an ever evolving role your whole life as a parent.
Ever had a baby with colic? Ever watch your kid go through chemo treatments? Maybe bury a child you've raised way before their time? Go through terrible twos with toddlers? You can't just quit that, or see that it's 5:00 and walk out for the day.
True parenting is the most selfless thing "or job" that you can have, and often you can feel left under appreciated and burnt out.
12 years of school or not, even doctors hang their stethoscope at the end of the day and walk out.
Also, just because "any idiot can parent or have kids" doesn't mean they should.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
katmiss ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No need to read into more than what was stated. You may take away something with you when you're done, like you've just mentioned, but that wasn't the point. The daily tasks of said "job responsibility" are still, however, done, until you start again the next day. If a parent is sleeping, they're a parent. If a parent is at work, they're a parent. 24/7.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the fact of still being responsible and needing to take care of what arises at any interval of time. There could be a parallel if as a doctor you're home or on personal time and on call, but more so (I'm not sure what type of doctor you are), are you performing surgeries 24/7, or seeing patients 24/7? To clarify, it's not about being "xyz title" ie. parent, doctor, but being physically and mentally responsible at all times within that role as such. Sick kid? Come home from work. Kid can't sleep? Up all night with them, etc. Parenting doesn't have boundaries, a schedule, or a stop watch.
I was a stay at home parent, and now work full-time outside of the home. No one expected me to wear real pants, if I was tired or sick I could nap or rest if I felt like it. I didn't have many responsibilities beyond keeping the kid alive, fed, and playing with her. I didn't have a supervisor doling out tasks and deadlines, or any bullshit that comes with having an actual job. When I have a shitty day at work, I yearn for the days I spent cuddled with my child wearing yoga pants and reading llama llama red pajama for the 1000th time.
nzserif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if a parent is sleeping, ok sure they're a parent by name but they're not actually doing any parenting while they're asleep... i'm a teacher and when i'm asleep i'm technically still a teacher lol
similarly, if you're at work, you're not physically doing the job of parenting - you're doing some other work while your children continue to exist someplace else. yes you still hold the responsibility of parenthood just as the poor bastard above you still holds the responsibility of doctorhood even though he's not physically at the hospital, only i imagine he feels it far more keenly than any parent does while they push papers at the office or sleep
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See next comment.
And yes you're right, but your students aren't scared and climbing in your bed, refusing to go to sleep at 3am, or puking all over your feet. You leave them at school when you leave, except for any work you take home. They, as humans, aren't your responsibility when they're out of your hands at the end of the day since they go home to their parents/caregivers.
Maybe a point should be made that scenarios are subject to change based on which phase you're in in child rearing, such as a toddler or newborn, or if your kids are in high school. Also, being a stay at home parent vs a working parent can have two totally different viewpoints on the matter as well. For the parent who is a stay at home mom or dad, the 24/7 really is magnified.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True parenting is the most selfless thing "or job" that you can have, and often you can feel left under appreciated and burnt out.
Are you nuts? Of course it fucking isn't. It's a completely selfish pursuit. You are literally replicating yourself for your own fulfillment. It doesn't get less "selfless" than that.
The minister who spends Christmas holding a dying person's hand is doing something selfless.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The minister didn't create the lives he's helping, and how many parents are really helping their kids selflessly?
Your analogy is asinine.
katmiss ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps this is a more extreme example, but, the people who get impregnated through rape and decide to carry out the task of giving birth and raising the child have created life for their own fulfillment? Conception isn't always fulfilling, and neither is parenting always.
You sure do use a lot of one size fits all generalizations.
Holding someone's dying hand isn't selfless because it's some special occasion like Christmas, by the way. Weak.
Most of those people would just be doing it because of religion, though. It could be more selfless in that case to give up an unplanned child since you hadn't been properly prepared for it. The unborn baby never asked to exist, and there's a good chance they'd later often wonder why the hell they even had to exist. There is nothing inherently good about creating life, nor is there anything inherently bad about stopping a life that doesn't fully exist. I would err on the side of stopping a life, since the consequences of the former would affect much more than me, and the unborn can't consent to existing.
hagdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Parenting is hard. Very hard sometimes. But this is comparing apples to oranges. Parenting isn't a job, not in the same way that waiting tables or performing brain surgeries is, but that doesn't mean it's not hard to raise a good kid. Any mom who says it's the hardest job in the world is simply patting herself on the back for being a stay at home mom and doesn't know what a real job is.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:40:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:50:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, I don't. I had shitty parents, though.
katmiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:59:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was painfully obvious through your projecting.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:00:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have kids?
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, sure do.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:05:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was painfully obvious through your projecting.
For that matter, everyone who got all defensive at what I said only served to prove the original point. They think they accomplished something by reproducing, and that it stacks them right up there with oncologists and first responders and so forth. Like, seriously? SERIOUSLY. Sit the fuck down.
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Getting defensive? No. Don't confuse me debating your blinded view point with parental pride and or the ability to reproduce. Not once was that stated anywhere in any of my responses.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh yeah. You got me. I just totally walked into that one by answering honestly and giving 0 fucks about the response. Congratulations, she can sarcastically regurgitate my own statement back to me. Let's let the Reddit gold fall from the sky for that never seen before ingenuity. golf clap
hagdog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You walked in to it because you were calling someone out for projecting while doing the same thing. Relax. The other person is clearly a /r/childfree individual with daddy issues. You can't convince her that parenting is hard work because her parents didn't give that effort.
I think it is a really hard job when you do it right. I mean REALLY hard.
I'd argue that it's NOT a hard job when you do it right. When you take enjoyment from spending time with your child, and teaching them to one day be a responsible adult. It's not necessarily the easiest thing in the world, but it's a blast, and flies by way too fast.
It gets hard when you're too wrapped up in your own shit to want to raise your kid. Then the whole thing becomes torturous drudgery. So yeah, it's only the shittiest moms who would post about how being a mom is the hardest job ever. Because for them, it really is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BUT WHAT IF YOU HAVE A JOB AND ARE A MOTHER AT THE SAME TIME!!?!??!?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then, when presented with the question, "What's your job?" you would probably list your job. I'm sure the vast majority of people who responded to the poll that I originally posted about were parents. But they a) didn't feel the need to inflate their own importance by saying something like, "I have the hardest job of all! I'M A 747 PILOT!" and b) they didn't mention being a parent at all, except insofar as their work might interfere with their holiday plans.
I mean, shit, Obama's a parent. Does he say, "I HAVE THE HARDEST JOB OF ALL! I'M A DAD!" (And he actually does, arguably, have one of the hardest jobs in the world.) No, because he has some fucking perspective.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah I was trying to say that most people who responded with a job are likely also parents at the same time, so why would anyone want to respond like they are one of the unique people (lol) who have a child to care for.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what the hardest job in the world is? Helping women that have the hardest job in the world write a resume for a paid position that isn't the hardest job in the world. I would know! That was one of my nightmares last night. It's going on my resume.
On a similar note, when you see parenting books on a bookshelf. Claim you have the "hardest" job of all and then be unable to look after children without the help of a book. You shouldn't need help when performing the single purpose of humanity!
A-fucking-men. My best friend is divorced and gets his kids on the weekends. His triplets. His 3 year old triplets. Nearly every week I drive an hour each way to see him and the kids on Saturday or Sunday. I leave as soon as I've walked my dog and showered and I come home when he goes to bed. It's typically the highlight of my week. I love those kids as if they were my own and if I was ever lucky enough to have my own kids, I'd be over the moon if I got to quit my dreary job and spend every day with them instead. Fuck everybody who would rather work a shitty job than take care of your kids, you're probably a shithead raising another shithead.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Seriously, if you're a mom, you need to realize that squirting a human being out of your vagina does not make you the most intelligent being on the face of the planet. Nor does it make you special. All you've done is something that literally billions of women have been doing for hundreds of thousands of years. Get the fuck over yourself and stop acting like you're the first woman to ever have a baby. And just because you can outsmart a toddler does not mean you know more about health than a doctor. Stop believing everything Oprah says.
People that feel the need to tell me that are stupid. You are not special because you had a kid at 17 or whatever young age. Just because you're a mother, doesn't make you a good one. It's absolutely not a job, its a responsibility, because being paid support from the government because you fucked your life up doesn't count as income.
I have a friend who complains about her child being in the 'terrible twos' and how much she looks forward to nap time so she has a bit of quiet time to herself.
But then she'll tell me how she finished an entire video game in one sitting, or a book, or a TV show/movie binge or anything along those lines and I just think, most people can't read and play games at work. It's not a job. Yeah, it's hard but it's life, you chose to procreate, deal with the consequences.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Allow me, as a mom whose job is not the hardest of all, to translate:
It's not socially acceptable to say that being a full-time parent is actually a pretty shitty way to spend your life. Instagram type moms aren't allowed to say, "I thought my life would be like a detergent commercial, but it turns out cleaning up baby poop and yelling at a toddler all day, and never getting more than three hours of sleep at a time, is really fucking miserable," but they can say, "This is the hardest job of all."
Litterally half the planet can and at some point will do the same job as you. It is nothing special. You got yourself into it, im not going to reward you for complaining about it... and while I'm at it your dog seems to be doing a better job than you, and she has 8
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is such a slap across the face to people with actual jobs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
maybe they're trying to validate themselves somehow. like oh look at me I'm relevant, I'm important! this is a real job!
not excusing them, just wondering if that's what's behind it.
JEWCEY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper hard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stay at home mom here: I also hate fellow SAHM who use this line. No, really, our job isn't that hard. Can it be frustrating? Sure. Infuriating? Definitely. Stress inducing? Sometimes! But it does not even compare to the work many others are out there doing.
Sure, it's an important job, no doubt about it, but comparatively speaking ... I have it fucking easy and I know it. I am grateful to be able to stay at home and raise my children, but doing so doesn't make me Superwoman or a Goddess. Sheesh.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lying down on your back and letting some dude bust a nut inside you is as much of an accomplishment as when I got out of bed this morning and took a piss.
"I always interpret that as a way of saying 'I have no other accomplishments to speak of except my kid and have nothing else going on in my life'" That's where I got that from, how does "Job: CEO of stay at home mommy!!!" make anyone think that?
I was defiantly over exaggerating but I'm just showing my point.
I am most defiantly putting words into his mouth he said that anyone who says that "Ceo of mommy thing" has apparently no achievements. As I said I'm exaggerating but I'm trying to show my point - that there's no reason that he should think that.
I don't understand why some people think having kids is an accomplishment. Raising kids to be proper adults seems like an accomplishment. But simply having kids? I don't consider something that dogs do accidentally sometimes to be a noteworthy accomplishment.
I have a 17 year old sister who has a child. Since she became a mom, she's become more self entitled, and frankly has a bad attitude toward everyone else. She complains constantly about how no one in the family helps her or cares about her baby. She feels deserving, and downright demands assistance from my parents, but she's moved in with her baby daddy, and none of us actually know where she lives. She dumps her kid off on my mom for the majority of the week. But she's very quick to post on social media how amazing of a mom she is, and how hard she works for her child, and how no one else in the world has the right to tell her how to raise her baby.
What's her favorite cliche? "Being a mommy is the hardest job on the world."
Sounds a lot like my friends sister. She had two kids, both by accident, and has never held a job in the world. Her dad has paid for everything and her brothers were always there for her but she completely shut them out. She moved in with her boyfriend somewhere and hasn't been in contact with her family in a while, and apparently resented her family because "they never do anything for her"
Bromlife ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you call her out on this egregious behaviour?
Well, without going into my whole life story, I'm not really involved in my sister's life, though not for lack of trying. She pushed me out a long time ago due to some poor decision-making by our parents that ended up with me living separately from her while we were growing up. After that, I started my adult life, and I don't see my family often anymore.
My mom is an enabler for her, and no matter my input, my sister will continue to be ungrateful, and my mom will continue to clean up behind her. I know this is going to sound terrible, but I just don't care to try to change her. It doesn't matter how loudly you speak if no one's listening anyway. Don't get me wrong though, I love my sister. It's just that right now, she has a lot of things to learn, but very little that she's willing to be taught.
Bromlife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair call.
The real shame is the impact she'll have on her child.
I agree but nothing from "Job: CEO of stay at home mommy!!!" makes me think they feel there better than anyone else, it's just them trying to be light hearted.
I guess it's not so much that particular thing, as what some of those people have a tendency to post. Yeah, that's cute and playful, but the whole "being a mom is the hardest job in the world" thing is so played out, and frankly, it's annoying. It just so happens that most of the people I've seen post/say stuff like that happen to be terrible parents.
But, there's two sides of every fence, and I'm sure not every girl that claims that cute little job title is an annoying person or bad mom.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:20:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is reddit. Most any circlejerk one fancies can be found here.
Yes. This is all I got too... One guy said that raising a kid isn't that difficult or unique of a thing compared to dangerous or skilled labor.
I guess that means they hate moms? I dunno I get confused when there's more than one sentence or no pictures.
Edit: of course you struck a nerve. People just don't have reasoning skills like they use too. It's bunch dumb kids tryna sound smart cuz they have a bedtime lol
Edit2: ha only one sentence and I still got confused too. At least I'm not the only idiot haha
dzielin ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:51:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh yes, the self-proclaimed "Domestic Engineers."
jerslan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:25:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they have an actual degree in Engineering and gave up their career to raise their children? More power to them. Those will probably be some smart kids.
Saw that one recently and eyes were appropriately rolled.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you get a paycheck? No. Do you have to frequently report to your boss? No. Do you have to file your taxes at the end if the year? No. Can you do your job barefoot and in a bathrobe? Yes? Then it's not a job. Let's start calling it what it really is: unemployment.
majnus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:03:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends from high school... Right after she had a kid, she changed her name on FB to 'Mrs Do-And-Know-It-All' with the occupation 'Full Time MOM'. That's the most retarded thing I have ever seen.
shomest ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:37:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they blog about recipes, you have to scroll down about a chapter book's worth of paragraphs about how her husband and children are picky eaters blah blah blah but they loved this one and they don't even know there are veggies in it blah blah blah before you even get to the damn recipe you came for.
"Director of child management" or "prepubescent lifestyle engineer" or "juvenile training supervisor" are all options. Gotta throw the corporate spin on it.
Why is that such a unsavory way to express your education? I'm a high school graduate, that attended a couple of years of college and left without a degree. I now live a very happy life as a restaurant server and bartender.
I am a student at the University of Life, studying Patience and Understanding.
My graduation day will be my last day on earth.
I am happy with that.
Edit Why am I not shocked by the down votes Reddit?
[deleted] ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 01:23:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"ย I, on the other hand, am a fully rounded human being with a degree from the university of life, a diploma from the school of hard knocks, and three gold stars from the kindergarten of getting the shit kicked out of me." - Captain Blackadder
Pretence ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:03:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"School of Hard Knocks" is a colloquial term used to describe a difficult life. It implies that your education is boiled down to life experiences in unfortunate circumstances and that it somehow makes you wise and more worldly than your academic peers.
gsfgf ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:10:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went was the Latino boy bussed into a black neighborhood middle school with white kids as the popular ones. The whites didn't accept me and the blacks thought I was white. I got my ass kicked a lot, but I always fought back. This one time, another student threatened to stab me with a pair of scissors. I put my face out, closed my eyes, and said, "Go ahead." They backed out.
Another time, this Deon Sanders looking dude that was way ahead in puberty didn't like me for being white. I would talk shit back if he started. He went to punch me. I smiled and let the braces handle the rest. He looked confused as well when he realized what happened to his hand. There was his blood everywhere and his skin was stuck in my braces. It took a half day to pick it out, but it was worth it.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:44:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not trying to start a fight, but I'm pretty sure 99% of the time that WOULD make you more worldly than most college students. I felt like you were saying that as though it were a silly notion. Many universities are isolated and in no way representative of the world at large.
But the problem is that at least in my experience it's often used by people who that doesn't really apply to. They didn't have a difficult life or a wide variety of experiences, they're just trying to justify dropping out of uni to work at Walmart full time
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:19:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not more worldly, but more experienced and well rounded, yes.
why? I'm not saying they arn't but the assumption that just because you went to university, you havn't had a hard life and are not aware of "the real world" or do not have street smarts, is the flaw. Nor am I saying that educated people inherently do have a better understanding of the world. It all comes down to personal experience.
My dad has that as the school he went to college so I'm not sure why. Though his facebook also says he was born in Kazakhstan... He was born in the middle of Mexico.
He did have a hard life though, so I guess it's better than most people who say it.
it's funny because i actually have read Chaucer, but i wouldn't recommend it to the average person. Nor do i think a life without Chaucer is a wasted one.
deabag ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:21:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An expression. Also a song from the musical & movie Annie. Also listen to Jay Z's version.
LewisCD ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:45:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or parents who write that they work at "full time mom/dad".
So other parents are part time parents? They work all day and come home to their family so they're just part time parents who are lesser parents than the ones who do it full time?
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 01:23:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zSprawl ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:39:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I recently quit my job and Facebook can't stop asking me to add my current one, so I just said I am currently attending school at the Evil League of Evil.
Just to clarify, I have absolutely nothing against stay at home parents. My issue is with people acting superior to other people for the stupidest reasons.
And I don't think you need to justify what you do for a living to Facebook; fuck Facebook trying to categorize everyone and everything.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:37:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:14:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This seems like a perfect opportunity to experiment with the data results. You could put "travel agent" or "celebrity chef" or "janitor at the Eiffel Tower" and see what kind of ads you get.
graymash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I second that, would love to see the results on reddit. Call it a social (network) experiment. FYI I don't have Facebook as I'm certain it's evil, I'm one of the few people I know without it. Most new people I meet generally assume I'm a hitman or something.
Yeah, there's no "pretty sure" about it, that is 100% spot in exactly what they are doing.
Remember, if its free, you are the product!
Spoogly ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:33:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The best, and most truthful answer for this is Homemaker. Inherently, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being the dedicated homemaker of a family, it's gender neutral, and it doesn't put down anyone else for their parenting style or choice to remain employed. Personally, if I took off time from work to make home life easier for my partner, I'd be quite proud to put that down as my employment.
I mean if they don't raise the kids between the hours of 8 and 6 yeah they could probably be called part time parents. I really don't understand your gripe here
w00kiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Per the full time parent policy, if you aren't at home with your child(ren) but choose to hand them over to a nanny or day care (because, ya know.. work, school and stuff) you are a part time parent and thus even less of a parent.
A friend of mine recently attempted to add "School of Hard Knocks" to the profiles of people in our friend group. Apparently fb allows others to make suggestions in case you missed part of your background.
rakmode ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More than half of my fucking family uses Hard Knocks as their alma mater. What a load of shit! Then they use that as an excuse to bash on "them educated people who think they're better 'en everybody".
Well I do know two people who go here which is kind of close....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have "Ball So Hard University" as mine, because I like the Ravens and I got fucking tired of Facebook asking me where I graduated college when I ended up dropping out.
Ymir24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh. I studied at ย Theย Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to write a plugin that changes those to "College Dropout" and "High School Dropout" respectively.
Lindlaar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I told someone I went to HKU thinking I'd set myself up for a hard knocks university joke. They just assumed I'm chinese and didn't give me the chance. Guess I deserved it
Yeah, fuck those people for being made to feel insecure about having not gone to college and having Facebook prompt them over and over and over
"Hey, something's wrong here. Looks like you haven't filled out the 'where I went to college' section of your profile. Why is that? Obviously you did go to college, I mean... what are you, a cave man? So please take a minute to tell us where you went to college. It's not like someone who's 33 and lives in the United Fucking States of America could possibly have not have gone to college by now. Seriously, fill it out."
I continue to get the prompts and ignore them, but I can see the benefit of putting something in there just so it will STFU.
MatloxES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or works at the Krusty Krab
Landy99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the people who put "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry".
I did not go to business school. You know who else didn't go to business school? Lebron James, Tracey McGrady, Kobe Bryant. They went from high school to the NBA so... so it's not the same thing... at all.
Adrxone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget Hogwarts and Kanye's Ghetto University...
catzi1 ยท 4799 points ยท Posted at 15:37:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a mother, I know all there is to know about kids.
dannyr ยท 4078 points ยท Posted at 19:25:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Generally followed by "If you don't have kids yourself you can't have an opinion".
The fuck I can't. They may be your kids, but I can spot a brat at 200 yards
Thanks for the support. With Doug Sohn's retirement and Dick Portillo selling the family business, the Chicago sausage community needs to stick together.
It's hot and humid. It's mostly the humidity off the lake, it hasn't been windy enough to move the heavy air. The Botanical Garden's corpse flower is about to bloom for the first time in 12 years, so I have that to look forward to.
In Sports, Cubs are doing well and Hawks fans are just waiting until the Kane investigation reaches a verdict. The NFL Draft will come back. So good for business, bad for traffic. But with so many international festivals, it's nothing Chicagoans aren't used to.
In politics, an Alderman was punched in the face after asking/telling prostitutes to move out of his ward. No one is facing major corruption charges right now (fingers crossed).
It's summer in the city, I'm just relaxing before Winter hits.
Indie_uk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amazed this comment hasn't been gilded, this is reddit gold.
To be fair, I don't think men can truly understand how horrifying pregnancy can be. Most women don't even feel comfortable about their periods until they're in highschool/college, and that's something they deal with every single month of their lives. If it takes a woman 5-10 years to get over the embarrassment, pain, and frankly, horror at the fact that they're spewing chunky blood out of their vaginas, imagine how much worse going through a 9 month shit show (literally) followed by a horrifyingly painful procedure that regularly kills women unless they have really good medical intervention. We spend our whole lives being warned about pregnancy, it stands to reason some women just can't deal with how terrible it is. Women are physically never the same after having kids, that shouldn't be forced upon them.
So yeah, I don't think it's fair for men to say what women shouldn't be able to do with their bodies. They never run the risk of getting pregnant, they never have to feel their bodies going through horrific changes, and they never have to worry what happens if an abortion isn't an option, other than some child support.
If they don't want an abortion, they shouldn't get one.
ktappe ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:19:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Points all taken, but this discussion is not just about abortion. And you are assuming only the negative; you aren't covering the case where a man is sympathetic about and supportive of a woman's right to choose.
I have no problem with men who support abortion, don't care too much about the issue, or don't agree with it but take no steps to prevent one. I don't care about their personal beliefs, my problems are with men who try to prevent abortions in any way. Politicians making laws about them, protesters harassing women for them, people who discuss abortions with women with the intent of changing their opinion, those are the people I have problems with. I also have problems with women who are anti-abortion, but they at least seem to be more educated about it.
The reason I made my comment was because women have reasons to dismiss some of the opinions of men in abortion discussions. I've heard things like "pregnancy isn't that bad", "why wouldn't you just choose adoption instead", or "women are always acting like pregnancy is such a big deal". Those show an extreme lack of understanding, which is why I think their uneducated opinions don't add anything to a discussion.
I actually applaud men who are pro-choice. Especially if they have reasoning behind it, it shows empathy for others even if they aren't able to understand the situation directly. If you support abortion (I'm just guessing you're male) then I salute you too.
I honestly don't get why other guys don't support abortion. Sure, it a life, but we humans kill each other all the time, and it's most often the people who support gun rights that are against abortion.
So yeah, I don't think it's fair for men to say what women shouldn't be able to do with their bodies. They never run the risk of getting pregnant, they never have to feel their bodies going through horrific changes, and they never have to worry what happens if an abortion isn't an option, other than some child support.
And this is why the US is anti-dad and anti-male when it comes to child related issues.
It's ignorant as fuck and selfish as fuck for women to say that.
What the fuck are you talking about? Because I was talking about abortion. Pregnancy is terrifying, so anti-choice men who spout bullshit about something they'll never experience piss me off to no end.
It's like if I were to say that we should reinstate the draft and not worry about all that silly body armor or veterans benefits. It's an issue that will never directly effect me, so suggesting terrifying things that men 'should' have to go through is bullshit, and the very concept of me saying that would piss you off.
Where did I say anything anti-dad? My entire point was that men shouldn't oppose abortions since they'll never deal with the horrors of pregnancy, that has nothing to do with being anti-dad or anti-male.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:31:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually you did say something anti-dad:
and they never have to worry what happens if an abortion isn't an option, other than some child support.
That is absolutely not the case. 99% of guys would very much feel obligated to be a dad. You are pro-abortion - so am I - but to flip the discussion lets not say that the dad shouldn't have an opinion in not allowing an abortion, and say that they should have an opinion in whether the mother does have one.
Lets say a man (who, quite rightly wouldn't leave a child on moral grounds) accidentally gets a woman pregnant. The woman doesn't want an abortion, but the man should get a say against that, as it wouldn't just be the mother's life affected - that seems to be a big gap in your argument.
I guess I wasn't clear on what I meant, sorry. What my intention was "If a man doesn't want anything to do with a kid when an abortion isn't an option..."
I do believe men shouldn't be on the hook for kids that they didn't want/never intended. I knew a woman, she had a drunken one night stand with a guy, decided to keep the kid, and is collecting child support. I think that's wrong, they didn't have a relationship, he didn't want the kid, he didn't expect the kid, and now he's forced to give it money for decades. Women shouldn't be forced to care for unwanted kids, neither should men.
If there was a way for a man to prevent an abortion that didn't involve a woman having to carry it, I'd be all for it. If some machine could suck a fetus out and stick it in some sort of meat pocket for a few months and he kept the kid after that, terrific! Unfortunately, parental rights regarding unborn children is a really shitty situation since two people create something together, but only one of them is able to carry/terminate it. I think we probably have pretty similar views, I just didn't express it properly.
How is pregnancy the same as someone getting shot or unsupported after serving their country?
Roughly only one million women die each year during child birth, WORLD WIDE. That's about 1 in every 141 births. Only 700 of those are in the states, and we're on the high end for 1st world countries. Those are fucking good odds.
Oh, and guess where most of those deaths occur? That's right, third world countries. So if you're not in the horrible conditions of a slum, the odds are EXTREMELY high you and the baby will survive.
To be perfectly honest, the father is more likely to get killed running to the store for his wife's odd craving than her dying during child birth.
Even my wife (who works in the medical field) thinks you're a retarded cunt and part of the feminism problem.
That was an example of something that men could relate to that women can't. I will never fear the draft, because I can never be drafted. Men don't fear pregnancy, because they can never become pregnant. See how that works? It's called an analogy and is used to help people understand things, I guess it didn't work on you.
Although I did see the one you used, that one's called a derailment. You focused on one part of one sentence from a previous comment, and completely missed the part where I said "unless they have really good medical intervention". So yes, most of the women who die are in third world countries, which is exactly what I just said, places without good medical intervention.
Are you really this mad that I think women should have access to safe abortions? Because that's really what this all boils down to. Women get annoyed at men talking about how abortions shouldn't happen.
If it takes a woman 5-10 years to get over the embarrassment, pain, and frankly, horror at the fact that they're spewing chunky blood out of their vaginas
oh god, will you stop being so dramatic. Everyone goes through puberty. Reproduction is a biological compulsion and the stereotypical woman with baby fever is a stereotype for a reason. Yes, I will agree that women quite often emotionally hysterical, but that doesn't mean that everyone needs to bend to their every irrational whim.
So yeah, I don't think it's fair for men to say what women shouldn't be able to do with their bodies.
No one cares what women do with their bodies. People do care about women murdering babies. People should stop hysterics from committing murder. If a woman can be excused for killing a child after it's born (postpartum depression) then she shouldn't be considered in clear enough state to make decisions to end someones life.
No, not semantics. Many people do not believe that life begins at conception. That is why it is permitted to have an abortion up to 26 weeks after conception. Before then, a fetus has no feasible way to survive outside of the womb and effectively is a parasite.
Mass appeal does, in fact, dictate universal truth when it comes to matters such as this one. Just because you don't like it, doesn't make it non-factual.
If everything was scientifically proven there would be no need for morals and ethics. There is no scientific test to determine whether or not abortion is conclusively immoral. Your logic is, once again, flawed.
You didn't ask what laws should be based on. You asked what dictates universal truth. The scientific method can be used to determine the consistent application of what we consider moral. You are extremely inconsistent therefore we can pretty safely dismiss your opinion.
Do all miscarried "babies" get a proper burial? Do you have to get a death certificates for miscarriages? Does a fetus count for tax purposes?
You can argue about the ethics of abortion all you want, but you cannot just assume that certain things are "facts," simply because you believe them to be.
I think most pro-lifers are useless wastes of space, so does that mean I can murder them without legal repercussion?
We kill each other all the time. The people who support guns and encourage us to 'defend' ourselves are suddenly the people who go and get all pro-life all of a sudden.
Pretty sure it can't live outside of the womb before a certain point (and even then without extreme medical intervention that would not even be wasted on a living, breathing, sentient, fully-functioning human being) and hence is a parasite.
Erm. No. I wasn't talking about your hypothetical siamese twins, I was talking about a fetus that is inside of another living, sentient being who does not have to give up her body to house a parasitic mass of cells that could perhaps be a potential baby.
Cognitive dissonance would imply that I hold two opposing views to be true. I don't. You just think I said that because of your confirmation bias. I stuck with my view that both parasitic siamese twins and unwanted children should not be forced to live. I don't think you actually understand anything I have written here.
So you're saying that it should be legal for a person with a conscious conjoined twin with a dependence on him or her should be allowed to end that person life? At any time. They could be 20 years old and decide "I'm sick of you... I'm getting you cut off so you can die"
Your analogy was ridiculous from the start, because we are talking about sentient human beings (assumedly). But if one siamese twin was endangering the life of another, it would probably be the choice of the children/their parents to make that decision. Abortion is a whole other playing field. We are not dealing with beings that have cognizance.
Almost all, sure. But not all. Your argument is flawed. If all laws/ethics were derived from morals we would have no legal system and would be in perpetual conflict and ethical limbo.
You misunderstand my statement. Your morals may dictate that abortion is murder. My morals may dictate that it is not. Only one of those can become law.
Reread my above comment again. You are deliberately avoiding it because then your argument falls apart. Everyone possesses morals, but there is only one law. Just because you possess the moral that abortion is "wrong" does not make it law. The opposite can also be true. Learn to fucking read.
Generally speaking, institutional racism rarely affects white people, and as such, minorities tend to have an issue when people who happen to be white declare that "racism is over" or a "thing of the past," simply because they've never faced it.
So white people are entitled to have an opinion about racism, but really, you can't tell minorities not to be offended.
The term institutional racism, as it is used by extremist liberals in the west, is racist towards white people. White people know what it's like to be victims of racism and many of them living in the west know what it's like to live in a country that institutionally supports other races far more than them.
That is stupid. I am a white religious conservative, not liberal at all. I and pretty much everyone else can see that what you say is plainly wrong. It is way easier for white people to do pretty much anything even with the help that minorities get. We generally have better schools are brought up with more money, white people don't have criminal gangster trash as something to stretch for and look up to. When we do anything "gangster" it's ironic because even criminally minded white people generally know that there is much easier, much more money and less time served if you do financial crime. We use just as much drugs as black people, but we almost never get arrested for it. (being arrested would have ruined our lives)
And so on and so forth. If you walk down the street and someone is behind you, people are generally much less worried if there is someone white behind them. We generally do not have to suffer any prejudgement due to our race. And so on and so forth
Doesn't make you a reputable source. Is this seriously how you try to build credibility?
No, but it makes him an example of white people who aren't complete dickholes.
Not file a racial discrimination lawsuit.
... not even gonna touch that one. Mostly because A) that is simply not true [look up Abigail Fisher] and B) you're an idiot for even saying that. That's essentially it, you're stupid.
Not garner support or acknowledgment for disadvantages in society.
If your arguments made any sort of sense, then possibly people would support you. If you're arguing about not being able to blurt out "nigger" at will, while all those black people get to do it, you're a fucking moron. That basically says you're itching to say "nigger" but you don't because people will bitch at you. Think about that. You really want to say "nigger" and you think it's a "violation of your rights" that you can't.
There are no white schools
But there are white TOWNS.
Dude are you trolling right now?
That is a statistical fact. No, he's not trolling.
Seriously? I'm not violent rapist cis het white male scum?
That's a matter of gender, not race.
Not one valid point in this entire post.
You're not exactly qualified to determine the validity of arguments, thanks for trying though. But also, keep practicing, 'cause you're terrible at it.
example of white people who aren't complete dickholes.
If you're arguing about not being able to blurt out "nigger" at will, while all those black people get to do it
Ah, the racist reveals herself.
you're an idiot
you're stupid
complete dickhole
you're a fucking moron
You really want to say "nigger"
you're terrible
lol, real classy
But there are white TOWNS.
oooooh yeah, where are those exactly? I've never been to a town where ethnic minorities were not allowed. I thought we had laws prohibiting such things.
That is a statistical fact. No, he's not trolling.
No it's not, it's a shitty survey done on kids trying to act hood. No real evidence proves that.
you're itching to say "nigger" but you don't because people will bitch at you
I feel perfectly free to say nigger, except maybe at work. I choose not to say nigger because nigger is generally an inflammatory word. Nigger, however, means nothing to me. It is neither offensive or provocative. I think it's silliness is perpetuated by hysterics, professional victims, and control freaks.
4-bit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:46:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but unless you're going to pull a degree in child rearing out of your ass that's not really applicable to the situation. Is it?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:59 on November 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is "I'm no pilot, but if I see a burning plane upside down in a tree, I know something fucked up."
4-bit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it takes a quality driver to see the signs that the real problem was with the breaks.
You'd be surprised actually. Worked on a car that came from auction, bent about 4 feet in either direction from wrapping around a light pole. Engine still started and ran like a champ.
I don't have any kids of my own, therefore I have never interacted with a child. That's why I don't get an opinion. After all, it's not like anyone has a part in raising younger relatives that aren't their own children.
DrxzzxrD ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:53:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love my best friend. She is a wonderful mother. She is very passionate about her parenting beliefs. I don't really care about the issue at this point in my life because I'm not a parent yet, nor will I be for a while, but heaven forbid if I ever came to her with an opinion. I don't know how many times I've seen her mention on Facebook how people without children can't have an opinion on parenting. After berating a childless common acquaintance for her opposing view, I finally had to tell her that she can't invalidate an opinion just because someone disagrees with you, regardless of if they have experience or not.
I love her, but she really annoyed me with that one.
Oh yes. I disagree with hitting children because I believe you shouldn't hit people unless you feel you or someone else isn't safe.
"You don't have kids you don't understand."
"Yeah talk to me when you grow up."
"I am unable to understand another person's viewpoint and will blame their character and claim they're wrong" (I may have made this one up but they basically say it)
Like yeah I GET why people hit each other in non-necessary situations. I've wanted to do it too. But I haven't since I was a kid.
I mean you would't hit some old mentally retarded man with the "age" of a 3 year old would you? Then why do it to an actual 3 year old?
My opinion on children and how to raise them wasn't changed when my son was born. Anybody that says only a parent can understand was simply clueless before they had children.
It's not that people can't have an opinion, but that it only holds a certain weight. I am not an expert on all kids, but I do spend 99% of my time with my kids and I know them better than anyone else. Sometimes having the perspective of someone who isn't as close helps and sometimes it doesn't. I give certain weight to people who work with kids, but don't have them. There are some things that you experience as a parent that you just don't experience if you aren't.
No one knows everything. I don't want ever get to a point where I think I know better than everyone else. I also know that opinions are like assholes. Everyone has them and they usually stink. I may hear what a person says, but it doesn't mean they are necessarily right. Listening to someone's advice doesn't mean I am going to take it 100% of the time.
And in 18-22 years, I'm going to have to deal with your brat kid in the workplace, so I'm pretty sure I get an opinion!
Marz-_- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a lady with a screaming kid in my store this morning and she said, "I don't know why he screams all the time, I give him everything he wants!"
Razur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try being the kid & giving advice to your parent. Yowch, would not recommend.
Codile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I'm sure there are lots of psychologists who don't have kids; however they do know how to raise one. Sure, they may not have experienco in changing diapers, but they sure know how to reinforce good behavior. (And they'll understand when their child has a mental illness instead of going into denial and refusing to get the child some treatment...)
Can I get an AMEN?? Your child is obviously actin a fool but I can't say anything or discipline them because I don't have children and thus lack the knowledge of how to raise a respectful and polite person?!? God bless you!*
*In my family, that means "Respectfully, go fuck yourself."
Uuuuugh my sister is one of these. I swear when I find out I'm pregnant I'll call her and say "CAN I HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT VACCINATIONS NOW?!?!?!" I've only worked with children my entire goddamn life. I don't want fucking whooping cough or polio. Fuck me though, right?
You can have an opinion. But if you don't have kids, parents just won't take any notice.
I'm not going to listen to your advice about driving a BMW if you drive a moped.
Ozziw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read a Reddit comment which nailed it completely. It read something like "I may not have a flying certificate, buy if I see a helicopter in a tree, I know someone has screwed up."
gerusz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually they don't even have to be in the line-of-sight, you can hear them from across the store.
riraito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would say to them "you don't have a brain and yet you have an opinion on everything"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't have kids yourself you can't have an opinion".
Uhh, I've taken several classes in developmental psych, you probably haven't?
Those mommy types are the worst.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never fucking understood that. It's like people forget that we were all kids once. Maybe it makes them feel special to say they have a super secret understanding that non-parents cannot possibly possess, but the funny thing about parents is how easily they seem to forget what being a child was like. I know so many parents who talk down to their children, who dismiss their ideas, who expect them to understand situations the way adults do. Then, they are baffled when their kids get older and don't want to share anything with them.
If you want to be a cool parent for your kid, you have to actually respect them and attempt to see things from their point of view, starting at a young age. If you never want to listen to them when they're 10, it's no freaking mystery why they won't approach you with their problems when they're 13 (no matter how many times you say, "You can talk to me about anything!" In the back of their minds, they're thinking of all the times you failed to understand them or dismissed their problems in the past.) Adults see a change in their kids when they hit puberty, but the kids still feel like kids. There is no clear dividing line, and if you never took the chance to build a rapport with your child when they were little, you sure as hell won't be getting closer to them once they become teens. This is so obvious, yet as an aunt and a babysitter for multiple families, I've seen this play out again and again.
TL;DR: you may have kids, but if you can't imagine what it was like to be a kid, you don't really know as much about them as you think you do.
Oh my gosh yes. This time a million. I fully understand that because I don't have a kid, I shouldn't judge how you parent and react to your child too harshly, but a spoiled kid acting badly is obvious to spot, whether your a parent or not...
Also girls who say "just because I'm 16 doesn't make me a bad mother". You're not a bad mom, no, but you just made it a whole lot harder to achieve any dreams or goals you had before you popped that baby out...
Antag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got in a huge argument with a coworker about kids and almost this exact phrase was used. Instant rage
zedgrrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Childless Adults do actually remember what it was like to be a child and an adolescent, we can actually empathize with All members of society.
See this is kinda a "bingo" for parents though, to use CF terminology.
I get that childfree people are more than welcome to an opinion, but please dont give me advice in the following format:
"well my mum/sister/aunt/neighbour does x" usually some reallly obvious shit that youd have to be really mentally deficient to have not tried first.
My kid doesnt eat well. He is really fussy. If i have one more person without kids say to me "my mum just put out food and if we didnt eat we went hungry" great im thrilled your mum found what worked for you. ZERO sarcasm being a parent is tough sometimes and its a sisterhood with other mums, im really genuinely happy when another mum figures out what works for her kid.
But you know how some people learn best by going to class and discussing ideas and some people learn by reading textbooks quietly on their own and some people need big mudmaps to work out concepts pictorially. Everyones different. What works for one person, wont work for others. Kids are the same and they are just trying to learn how to be human, we are trying to figure how best to teach them how to be human. I tried the whole "heres food. He will eat when he is hungry." Guess what... he didnt. He made himself sick, lethargic and dehydrated and thank god my mother is a nurse and picked up on how serious it got really quickly, like within 12 hours) So i had to cave and give him shit i know he will eat to prevent him really doing damage.
So by all means have an opinion, suggest it but know we have probably tried that and remember, like adults are all different, so are kids. So saying "well, my mum used to ..." will probably not help us. Dont impart knowlegde like it will 100% work and we must just not be trying hard enough.
Wahpaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I see a helicopter in a tree, I don't need a pilot's license to know somebody fucked up.
[deleted] ยท 454 points ยท Posted at 18:49:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when they try to trump science with experience. For example:
Mother: I never give my kids sugar. Sugar makes kids crazy and causes ADD!
Person: Actually, scientific studies from this source have shown that sugar actually has no effect on-
Mother: I am a mother, I know how to take care of my own children!
No motherfucker. Your anecdotal experience based on confirmation bias doesn't discredit the findings of scientists.
Mayrod ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 20:55:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This actually appeared in a House episode, where Wilson would briefly discuss this with Cuddy's mother. I think the mother said something like "I have not read studies, only raised girls".
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:05:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I was actually thinking about that as I was writing the comment. That woman was a piece of work.
clemoh ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:35:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No motherfucker. Your anecdotal experience based on confirmation bias doesn't discredit the findings of scientists."
Would thing not be great on a t-shirt?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It could be worded a little more eloquently.
adaminc ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:42:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No cunt. Your anecdotal experience based on confirmation bias doesn't discredit the findings by scientists."
Nay, boil-brained bilge rat, thy anecdotal experience that doth rely only on confirmation bias discrediteth not the findings of men and women of science.
Or the kid has learned from their misinformed parents that sugar causes hyper activity and thus, acts hyper active after eating it because of a placebo effect.
Even more so, the kid might just get excited because they are getting a treat and that's enough to get them going. Your dog does the same thing when you pull out the treat bag.
Just because they might be wrong as to WHY their kid gets excited from the sugary food, does not mean that the hyper active response to eating is not a conditioned reaction.
TL;DR: They might be right for the wrong reasons.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:22:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
100% this. All it takes is a little knowledge of psychology and some critical thinking to realize that. Correlation is not causation.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the kid has learned from their misinformed parents that sugar causes hyper activity and thus, acts hyper active after eating it because of a placebo effect.
Ha, this reminds me of when I was in middle school there was a kid who heard that carbohydrates give you energy so anytime we had something like spaghetti for lunch he'd get all hyper active and crazy afterward. Even at the time I knew that wasn't how it worked.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:51:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OTOH, don't buy your kids candy at the movie and expect them to sit still through it.
Source: I'm a father
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:35:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:51:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
manage that shit. Take your kid to the park or indoor bouncy house just before going to a show and give them a slug of food ( grapes grilled cheese and hot dogs, for example) to give them the itis. don't dick it up by giving them a whole bunch of sugary candy. If the kid keeps playing with the spoons and forks at olive garden take them for a walk around the building or go jump in puddles while your waiting for your food.
And don't be mad if you give your kids a Popsicle and they start running around the house wildling out. You can observe a powerful connection between a child behavior and what you feed them.
If the sugar/hyper thing isn't true (I believe it isn't) I think it's a placebo effect. Someone should do an experiment to give kids sugar free lollies and some actual lollies and tell the sugar free kids 'lollies make you hyper' and see which group is more hyper
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would be interested in this study if someone did it, and I'd be willing to bet you'd see the same results for both groups.
really? I think telling the kids they're going to be hyper definitely has a placebo effect. And theres probably the same amount of sugar in other foods but never go crazy then
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There could be other reasons, too. Kids could just be hyper in general and when you give them candy you're looking for it so it's confirmation bias. Or it could be, as another Redditor has said in response to me, that they just get excited because they're being given candy in the first place. It's honestly probably some combination of all 3, and there may be other factors, but all of that is to say that I highly doubt it's because the actual sugar in the candy itself causes kids to be hyper.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always ask people where they went to college, that can tell me most of what I need to know.
MrIosity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry lady, sugar did not cause your child's neurological disorder. The genes he inherited from you did.
I get your point but I'm not so sure that's the best example. Sugar really does make kids go Loopy. It's like cocaine for tiny humans. Highly addictive.
Seriously why would you use that as your fucking example phrase?
You actually use the term "scientific studies have shownโฆ "
Wow. Embarrassing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find your hostility unnecessary and confusing. Besides, all that link said was that sugar is addictive and causes weight problems and obesity. Those are well established scientific facts. I see nothing in there that has to do with hyperactivity, which was the point of my example.
"...the hardest job of all โ the job of being a mother."
Gag. Puke. There are literally billions of mothers in this world, all of whom became mothers with no formal training or course of education to qualify them, and most are doing just fine.
And worse yet, this phrase is often uttered by assholes like Oprah, who aren't even mothers and have no qualification to gauge its difficulty.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:49:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking hate this too. I'm a dad and I'd quit my job in a fucking second and stay home to take care of my daughter and cook and clean and change shitty diapers.
I actually posted something about this earlier today, but I lost my job earlier in the year and became a stay at home dad for my son while my wife works. I love that little dude more than anything but there are certainly days that I'd rather be working. I've done quite a few different jobs varying from cozy-ish indoor jobs to outdoor manual labor jobs, but I'd still easily classify parenting as the hardest thing I've done. The most rewarding, most fun and interesting, but definitely enduring. But I guess it's also a situation where mileage may vary quite a bit.
And it's insulting to the parents who probably do have the hardest job in the world. Watching their child be a child forever. It could be their kid has severe physical problems and a normal mind. It could be their kid has Down Syndrome or some rare disorder.
"Oh I'm raising a 12 year old who doesn't really need any help with class and gets a 3.7 GPA. It is SO HARD."
Hahah. Yeah, the opinion was mine before I heard him say it, but I've certainly adopted some of his wording because that dude really knows how to get the point across. That dude is awesome.
ZombyTed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:34:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just remembered the bit about punching muffins at the street fair, and can't stop cackling.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:33:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a dad and I have to tell you, if I had to choose between lugging lumber and bags of concrete in the southern sun for hours, or dealing with criminals 50 hours a week, or probably half a dozen of the other shitty jobs I have had; or I hang out in my boxers watching spongebob and eating cheerios with my princess.... I am re-upping on dealing with shitty diapers every single fucking time. Maybe it gets a bit harder down the line, but so far its been a cakewalk in comparison to the soul crushing or physically demanding labor I endured through my 20's.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 23:28:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually most aren't doing such a great job... according to infant mortality rates around the world, incarceration rates, school dropout rates, crime rates. Furthermore, "assholes" like Oprah(Who has literally encouraged billions of people to read and lead a better life, are saying phrases like this because historically speaking the job is one of, if not the most, underappreciated. So tell us more about "asshole" Oprah.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:42:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You pushed a baby out of your vagina, not a PhD."
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:12:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every friend of mine that has a child instantly turned into momzilla right after giving birth. It gets worse as time goes on.
I get the messages or phone calls "we don't talk or hang out much anymore. Baby'snamehere misses you!!"
Nah, say YOU missed me. I've only met your baby once. The wealth of parenting knowledge and experience that you shoved down my throat in an hour made me go home and be thankful I only have cats.
sensicle ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 19:26:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Because being a mother is a full time job!"
Except when your kids are: sleeping, watching TV, or playing video games.
My kids sleep for 2 hours or less. That time is used to have a quick lunch and then do laundry, dishes, and whatever else needs to get done. It isn't spent doing nothing. On a typical day I don't even get to rest until 9 or 10 most nights and even that is not gaureented because the kids could need me at any time. My older daughter will soon be giving up her nap and my youngest isn't far behind. Plus, the youngest is teething and does get up in the night, so I don't get much uninterrupted sleep.
And one day the kids will be in school and that may give me some time, but not much. The schools around here expect parents to volunteer in the classroom, and chaperone field trips, etc. Not to mention after school activities. Once the kids are in school my time will also be occupied running errands and doing whatever needs to be done. There is always something.
There are harder jobs out there, but I do a lot. I get maybe an hour or two to myself a day. I engage with my kids and we are always doing something. I don't know where all this time you are talking about exists. It doesn't in my world.
I feel your pain and I only have one. I'd really like her to have a sibling but the thought of having to go through the first year again makes me want to run away.
It takes so much work to be a good parent.
twattage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband wants another one but we're both too afraid to do it.
It is hard, but having another was easier than I thought. We knew so much more and had more confidence in our abilities too. My youngest is definitely a more difficult baby. She is very clingy and has a super sonic cry, but I can't imagine life without her. They play together and entertain each other and have such a special bond. Mine are 2.5 and 13 months. It's never a dull moment, that's for sure.
I'm having my second in 23 days (scheduled c-section ). I have a 16 year old stepson, a 13 year old stepdaughter and a 2 year old daughter. I hate sleep, money and self esteem apparently. IT'S SO WORTH IT THOUGH! puke
Stay at home parent here too. Even if the kids are asleep and not doing chores I'm still never "off". My day is a series of small pauses between the next crisis.
Taddare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, I hear all this and all I think about is how much easier my grandmother had it raising me compared to a few of my friends whose moms were single working mothers.
Yeah, it's hard. But it could be so much worse that it kind of sounds whiny when every SAHM toots the same horn.
A lot of us have chips on our shoulder because people look down on us and think we are lazy. That makes us feel the need to explain that it is far from easy. It isn't the hardest job ever, but it does take patience and hard work.
wlee1987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, it's not a job because you don't get paid for it"
Except when your kids are: sleeping, watching TV, or playing video games.
Those times are the best because we finally have time to scrub the pen and crayon off the walls, do the kids laundry, clean food out of the carpet, put everything they ripped off the shelves and out of their dresser back where it belongs, and clean urine out of the weirdest places because your kid just didn't feel like going on the toilet.
Or at school or day care where they are literally someone else's problem for the entire day.
ibbity ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:28:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Specifically, YOUR kids. Did you know that literally everything you have done since they came out your vagina has been wrong and that they are probably going to end up in jail for life because of that? Not like ME and MY perfect angel who is currently trying to throw your cat out the window!"
I was once a kid. Plus I have excellent memory of my childhood. Therefore, I know all about kids.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly sometimes I wanted to deck these ladies in the forehead. Its like I have been babysitting and helping my mother with my younger siblings longer than you've been diddling your skittle and i dont act like the entitled POC you act like. Just because all i can expel from my body is a turd with the force of a thousand sons, doesnt mean I dont know how to take care of kids. I dare you to bring your crying child near me, I will silence that kid and get them smiling before you can even say "I'm a mother, I know all there is to know about kids"
My sister tried to pull this crap. Which was ideal because she knows that our family is loaded with kids so she knows I have tons of experience with our extended families kids and their shit. And I quote, "Its not like I have never seen or touched a baby before nor will they never let me see or touch a baby right until the second I have one of my own. Jesus Christ. I'm not retarded I didn't just pull my opinion out of my ass"
When teaching a class at a college, you will hear that one phrase spoken by an older student that signals that your entire lecture is about to be derailed.
"As a mother..."
ktappe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A baby coming out of your vagina does not increase your IQ.
Ohhh man. There's one of those on my Facebook now. She's pregnant, and has posted MULTIPLE times, almost verbatim "she doesn't need any fucking advice from anybody" she's also one of those people that posts shit like "I know I'm a crazy bitch", and her dad shares stuff on her page like "share if you know a crazy bitch." Her husband is in the military, and there's a term I learned from a friend in the airforce, she's what's called a dependopotamus. Her family is the reason people still believe in eugenics.
Not speaking to you, since this is indeed an annoying phrase, but it seems that the majority of responders are childless and can't seem to understand why parents are not particularly open to their input. For them I have the following suggestion, print your comment out and put it aside in a safe place. If you ever have kids I want to you to do the following: at 3 am when your child who hasn't slept though the night for six months shits themselves, works the diaper off, spreads said shit all over the crib and walls and begins to wail, take a minute to go find that comment, read it aloud to yourself, and congratulate yourself on your excellent parental advice. well fuck it, that's the innernetz
Do people actually say that? If so, please slap them in the face. I can't think of any context where anyone even close to being a sane, rational adult would say this and mean it.
I hate this so much, I've been working with kids for 8+ years, 70 + kids a day, 6-11 hours a day. Sorry, your five year old doesn't make you an expert.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a lady in my church who is a nanny and she thinks she knows everything about kids. She will lecture parents on how to raise kids and tell them all of her nanny stories, sometimes even if you're not a parent she'll tell her stories.
I am a child development major at a junior college, and about 1/3 of the students are middle aged, and I cannot count the amount of times I have almost ripped my hair out with stories like that.
As a mother, I don't know shit. I know I do what needs to be done to get my family through the day. I wish I didn't have to sometimes, but I do it.
I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I try not to roll my eyes when people without kids say, "all you need is," or "well you just". Especially when the answer is a spanking. I have tried that a dozen times.
barto5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a mother, I know all there is to know about kids.
Worse yet is. "I don't have kids but..."
You don't have kids but you're an expert on parenting? Really?
Just STFU.
Cyberhwk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when they have just one child and try to tell me about my youngest.....joyously unaware that my other three are older than theirs.....and I don't give a shit about their opinion anyway.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother, I know everything and demand that the world conform to my opinions or I will throw the biggest shitfit this country has and ever will see."
A friend of mine, who's also a mother, recently admitted to and apologized for "parent-shaming" another mom on the playground. Apparently the other mom's kid was being a bully, and this woman brushed it off like "my kid knows how to share, your kid just didn't understand him." In the moment, my friend responded with a firm "no, your child just bullied mine."
I thought it was very big of my friend to not only acknowledge that she had judged another mom for her parenting choices, but also shamed her for it. She explained that she didn't know the every day parenting choices and circumstances that this other woman faced. We all have lapses in judgement, it's how we handle them that matters.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively, people one week into a class who then think they know every fucking thing about it.
There is an old aphorism, "the spectator sees more of the game." Applies to more stuff than you'd imagine.
rcgarcia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:59 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pregnant women are smug.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:11 on September 8, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's usually a social network hero mom that says this as well. You know the mom that is constantly posting photos of how amazing of a mother she is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a kid has taught me one thing - I know very little about kids. I thought I was an expert before having my son. Now I just try to get through each day, like most parents.
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 17:32:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard any mother say that - but I will say that any parent knows much more about children and even life to an extent than I do - because I don't have children. If mother's are saying that, then that's a bit much. But I trust that parents know a lot. Experience.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:22:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How old are you exactly? Having children does not equal experience or understanding. If you're a dumb person who has children, you're still a dumb person, the only difference is that you're more likely to spread your own dumb through your children.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 24. You may have a point. It's a spectrum. I tend to trust that the experiences parents go through make them stronger - even if they are poor at handling a new human.
Some people get experience because they realize they don't know how to handle a kid and start to read up some info about child development and what not. The people who say shit like "I know all about children cause I'm a mother" are not the type though.
It's like if I buy and drive a car without knowing how to drive or fix a car. Just because I figured out how to operate it doesn't mean I somehow know what the fuck I'm doing.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:29:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my wife is 0-6 montessori certified... i guarantee she knows a fuck ton more about children and their development than 99% of parents out there.
but god damn if it doesnt russel my jimmies when she corrects me about little shit i do or say 'wrong' when it comes to raising our daughter.
neutron1 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate women too
[deleted] ยท 5514 points ยท Posted at 15:43:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That cashier won't give me a discount."
No shit. Thats not his/her job.
backstept ยท 5228 points ยท Posted at 16:52:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Cashier "Sorry, it's not scanning." Customer "MUST BE FREE LOLOLOL" Cashier (I hope you accidentally mix ammonia and bleach the next time you're cleaning that toilet where you dump all your good ideas.)
[and I meant 'ideas' not 'ideals' so stop trying to fix it for me]
dglane ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 18:54:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I knew I was a loser but this gives me more self-awareness of that painful fact as I have been this customer many times. Not feeling good about this lesson learned but I sure won't make this lame joke again. :-(
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 02:11:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I've recently noticed how common the latter is. It's amazing how pissed people get when the cashier asks for their ID. People, this is the case for almost every store in California. There are signs posted all over saying that you will be carded for cigarettes and alcohol no matter how old you look. Yes, we can all see that you're older than the Crypt Keeper, but they need to scan your card so they don't risk getting fired. Some registers won't even let the sale go through without it. Maybe keep your ID in your wallet like everyone else, especially when you clearly drove here!
Ugh. This guy comes into where I work and wanted cigarettes and he looked pretty young so I asked him for Id. He got really mad and left? Then he comes in a few weeks later and I ask him for Id and my manager was there so he goes to her you know how old I am. So I had to serve him.
Another time he came in saw that I was in the tills went and found the manager on the shop floor cos "that girl doesn't know how old I am". Well maybe I would. .If I saw some id! !!???
Anyway he came in the other day and a new guy served him and he asked for his id and he did the that manager knows how old I am going again.
Why doesn't he just bring his id? He has a car so he obv has a licence? I don't kick up a fuss and I always get id'd.
I've heard this joke many times. Enough to to do some science with it. There are a few ways of handling it. Each results in me feeling like a dick except the fake laugh. I'm happy so long as my customer is happy. It's worth it for me to keep living the lie.
You know why? 'Cause you're not a dick like the OP.
"Someone is making meaningless conversation with me, you know, treating me like a person instead of like a peasant. The nerve of those assholes!"
TomTao ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We appreciate customers like you who do it good naturedly and just aren't aware. We know that you don't realize how it comes off. We just can't tell you. Doing so risks us getting in trouble because you might be one of those customers who likes to pitch a fit. It's the assholes that do it after they've already been acting like a jackass and as a way to be an even bigger jackass that really piss us off.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So many different ones for different professions though. I was pizza delivery for a while and always got things like "That's for me!" When it clearly wasn't. Or, "You can give that to me if they don't answer." No, I can't. Just let me do my job... If it's the first thing that comes to mind, I have already heard it 10 times that day. You aren't being clever.
Sometimes the best lessons in life make you feel like crap. Cuz you're like wow, I feel like crap. And that makes me sad. And I don't want to feel like sad crap again. So you actively avoid that, and no longer feel like sad crap. Instead you go man, leave it to me to find the one that doesn't scan. Sorry about that. How's your day going? And sometimes, they'll proceed to tell you their whole life story. All of it. Every. Detail. But they feel better. They no longer feel like a faceless walmart/target/corporation/store sign. They feel like a human. And while you still have to wait for them to price check/grab another/do whatever, you feel good, because you made someone else feel good, and you don't feel like sad crap. Good work!
It's okay when the nice customers make corny jokes :). However when you handed me 23 coupons and make that joke when the 15 cent off coupon isn't scanning because of expiry or whatever reason. Then it's like really? You be you bud, you're fine =)
I say a variation of this.... I didn't realize people were annoyed at it. sigh Premature dad-humor strikes again.
Edit: My highest upvoted comment is about my own lame dad jokes. I don't know how to take this.
Also, TIL something I do to try to make people happy has literally the exact opposite effect.
Edit 2: Apparently the first part of my first edit is something that people hate. I apologize and repent. I leave it now only as a negative example to others.
backstept ยท 1108 points ยท Posted at 19:23:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's one of those things that can legitimately feel original and clever, but for people who hear it all the time it's maddening.
nootrino ยท 169 points ยท Posted at 19:57:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Former cashier here. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that phrase when something wouldn't scan, I'd have a nicer gaming PC.
[deleted] ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 20:00:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, while delivering pizza, all the times I heard some variant of "If they don't want it, I'll take it off your hands - hyuk hyuk!"
pyreon ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 00:10:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Occasionally if the customer doesn't come down/answer the phone to pick up the pizza, my manager lets me sell the pizza to anyone passing by for whatever cash they have on them at the time. I've sold 3 pizzas like this.
Shortly after I had started college, some new friends and me were walking down the street near our dorm getting stoned. One of them said, "I wish we had some pizza right now", and I shit you not, a dominos car pulled over less than 30 seconds later and said "hey you guys want some pizza for cheap?". It was incredible, unbelievable, and magical. Thank you for also being someone who has made at least 3 pizza dreams come true.
Banakai1 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:18:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similar occurrence while tripping on shrooms in the woods with 3 other friends. We were swimming / splash fighting in a spring for awhile when out of nowhere one of my buddies says "this seems kinda gay." Kinda messed up the vibe. Not 2 minutes later, two gorgeous girls came running down the trail in skimpy workout clothes. They stopped by the spring we were sitting in and one of them pushed the other in and they proceeded to water wrestle each other for a few minutes. Lucky we were past the point of acting really weird, so they talked to us for a bit without one of us saying something really nonsensical then left to continue their run along the loop we were camping on. We then lost our shit on how the universe saved us from a weird come down.
I used to work at a grocery store, and part of it was that we would put the groceries in their car after they pull up (mostly old people used this service). And this one guy made me laugh so much. I said the same thing I always did "Hi! Where would you like these at?" And I was always ready for "trunk is fine, thanks" or "just in the backseat, thanks". This dude straight faces the shit out of this and says "oh, just on the roof". Then looks at me as I'm still registering yhat this was a joke and he cracks up and then I started just dying. It threw me off not being treated like a robot for once!
Unfortunately I guess he did this joke to everyone... but still funny!
I had one customer that was like sour shoes from Howard Stern. He'd randomly talk to himself in a high pitched comical voice. He came in with his wife so I asked her what it was like living with such a character. She asked me what I meant as if she wasn't familiar with his behavior. The dude in question just looked at me sweetly like a parrot that refuses to talk. I think they were trolling me but still not sure.
I've spent my time in service roles, and I've heard every single one of the crummy dad jokes. I don't know where it started, but I used to lead into one of the old groaners, but then veer off suddenly just as I got to the punchline just to throw the cashier off.
Item doesn't scan.
"Not scanning? That means that the label is probably crinkled from being at the bottom of the trolley. Sorry about that."
Considering deadpanning is second nature to me, I started to get some smirks. Nowadays I pull some insane shit out of left field just to see if I can get a giggle out of the cashier.
At my old job (an old family owned restaurant), we had a sign that said "Hostess will seat you", a leftover from times when men weren't allowed to work out front. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I heard "You don't look like a hostess to me!" or some variation of it. And you know, the sign itself didn't bother me at all. I didn't give two shits that it said hostess and I'm not female. But I wanted to fucking murder everyone that made that exact same joke.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:49:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It got to a point where I would just say "Yep! How many do you have?" and pretty much skim right over their little joke. It was kind of funny the first time, and after three years of it I was ready to start gutting customers.
I work as a cashier right now. Worse than this is when I can't get something to scan and the person tells me the price of the merchandise. I don't care how much it costs motherfucker I just want to be able to charge you for it.
I've never understood this, I was a cashier for a while, the whole job was pretty much the same meaningless small talk on repeat. Why would someone saying this bother you? They're just killing time while you're doing your job. In fact it's helpful because then you don't have to think of something to say you can just laugh and say, "I'm sorry I don't think it works that way" or something to that effect. It's just small talk, do you get angry when people talk to you about the weather too?
edit: I have no idea where you all are finding these people who actually expect things to be free, from what I encountered it was always more of a dad joke than anything
Depends on the customer. A LOT of them say it and actually expect that you'll say "yeah ok you can have it for free" then get the shits when you tell them it doesn't work that way. At least they do where I work, anyway.
I always respond with "actually store policy is that anything which doesn't scan is charged at a default price of ($50 or $100 or $1000 - random amount much higher than the value of the item) is that ok?"
The ones that are joking just laugh. The ones that genuinely expect the item for free get the shits and start arguing.
I worked at Walgreen's and people would ask for discounts on already heavily discounted items. They'd get pissed they had to pay fifteen cents for a chocolate santa instead of seven cents. Also some people were obsessed with how much a discounted item originally sold for in a creepy way. The register was old and I didn't know. I got the impression A LOT of customers were impulse buying cheap clearance items for the thrill of spending money.
dan99990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A LOT of them say it and actually expect that you'll say "yeah ok you can have it for free" then get the shits when you tell them it doesn't work that way. At least they do where I work, anyway.
I agree completely. I feel like the people getting annoyed by it are just annoyed by everything probably. I'm on autopilot when I'm ringing people out, and they make my job easier, and more pleasant. They're just trying to bullshit with you in a friendly manner. I can't imagine hearing someone say something along those lines and thinking to myself "Jesus Christ, get some original content already. You think your funny? Have an original thought." there's cynical, and there's hopelessly cynical.
For me it has nothing to do with the repetitiveness, but the people who say this are often shitty people. Screaming at their kids, poor hygiene, always trying to "rip someone off before they rip off me!" and generally going through life with a shitty work ethic. Things cost money dude, if you can't afford it you shouldn't be here. Don't be a cheap asshole, you're making me uncomfortable.
Side note: I just realized that I'm probably this way because though we grew up really poor, me ma drilled it into us that being cheap and classless has nothing to do with how much money you have, and that no discount, freebie or charity is worth your self respect.
I've been a cashier for 7 years. It's really rude to make a joke about somethinh that could the employee fired. Personally, I hate when people joke about printing a bill at their house as I check them. They are both crimes and ones I am very used to getting law enforcement involved.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:06:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should look at a different career if that upsets you.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:58:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was a cashier when I had no choice. 95% of the time being cashier is not a "career"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
95% of the time if you're a cashier for 7 years that's the only career you're going to have.
Well considering I've worked here 7 years and have heard the joke from 2 or 3 people almost every single day, it gets old. You can't stop people from making the jokes, but how many times can you hear a joke before it gets annoying?
Jynx12 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:06:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's annoying because I have no idea how to respond without offending the customer. I can only fake-laugh so many times and I can't really say "No the barcode is being a little bitch and won't scan."
kids used to taunt me with that when school got out, but I just wanted to run home and watch Spider-Man
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:16:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I, former manager at a women's clothing store, was at the grocery store with my boyfriend and our apples didn't scan. He said those dreaded words which caused me to wilt from embarrassment and shame and irritation. But then the cashier just said, "I think you're right" and put them in the bag. I was so ready to make fun of him and that cashier ruined it.
I can understand that. I used to work a job where I was sometimes pressure washing the sidewalk running alongside a parking lot. Every time, without fail, I would get at least one customer or passerby jokingly asking for me to wash their car next.
Like being asked if I have 'free samples' when transporting cash.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a police officer, mine is when someone points to their buddy and says "he's the one, he did it!" I try to be polite but man I hear that several times a day and its obnoxious.
Imagine meeting someone named Sherlock. Every single person named Sherlock gets the "have you ever heard the quote "Elementary, my dear Watson"? huehuehue"
I mean, personally if I meet someone named Sherlock that's automatically what I go to
When I used to strip & wax floors, I was constantly told "You missed a spot!" It never really bothered me, just more or less amazed me how many people think they're being new and original with it.
I work in a restaurant with a great view. All day long I hear "You ever get sick of the view?". No motherfucker, only that question. I die a little inside every time I hear it....
The thing for my job as a valet is people saying "Oh it's the black stingray, Porsche, jaguar, Maserati, Phantom." Motherfucker if you were driving a Phantom it would be parked under the canopy and my boss would run over with the keys as soon as he saw you walk outside. Take your piece of shit Equinox/Versa/ Chrysler 300 and go.
I once met a girl named Shirley and said "Shirley you are not serious". She gave me a murderous look. Cockblocked myself. With my mouth. Smooth MF.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:55:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had one of these. I worked in the produce department and every time I was putting a box of something on the shelf someone would take some and say, "Oh I'll just help you out here." Then laugh their heads off at their cleverness. Every. Single. Day.
loli123 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:23:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I delivered Jimmy Johns (freaky fast subs) for over a year and a half and heard "wow that was freaky fast" at least 10 times a day... I always had to chuckle too, then repeat it back to them, per the store rules.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:04:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok ill just stick to, "why isnt this scanning, get your manager you useless nothing."
when you say a joke about someone's name, profession, situation, social standing, or anything that they are stuck with try to imagine how often they must hear that joke and how irritating it is to hear it over and over again. I was a waiter for a few years and the jokes I heard that people thought were original just made my day drag on.
what's worse is they look at you and wonder why you're not laughing with them.
I played golf with a guy called Wei, pronounced 'way'. It was so hard not to make jokes like "that's the Wei!" for 4 hours but I knew that he would have heard all of them far too often.
Similarly, I have a friend named Nue. The first time I met her at work, I was like, "Hey! I'm doctor_of_recreation!" And she goes, "Hi, I'm Nue." "Welcome! What's your name?" "It's Nue." "Oh. Um... I'm sorry, I'm an idiot."
I so badly want to call her Newbie sometimes but I just know it must be an old joke to her.
Last name is Anderson. So many fucking Matrix jokes.
melatron ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:26:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me, it's always something about "cutting the cheese" or being cheesy. I'm a cheesy cheese cutter. I still manage to politely chuckle. I'm not smeyesing, though.
GraharG ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:00:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
just remember the first thing you think to say in a situation is the first thing pretty much everyone thinks. They heard that shit a thousand times before
Sad truth is pretty much any joke you can come up with to tell to a cashier or waiter is something they have heard dozens and dozens of times before. If you really want to make their day then be polite, understanding that things don't always go smoothly and understand that they have very little authority to change anything.
This applies to pretty much anyone in a service industry. People get so disrespectful because a security guard won't allow them backstage. It's their job, what exactly do you want them to do? Hell, I even have a working pass, but if the artist wants the area shut down, that's what they get.
The guard apologized after the lockdown was cleared, I shook his hand and told him why? He didn't do anything wrong.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:27:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked a checkout when I was younger. The joke itself isn't too bad. It's just that checkout work makes you realise how unoriginal most people are. When you've worked a year of checkout for a year and have heard "it must be free" from at least fifty different customers, each one standing there expecting you to laugh or smile at their joke, it gets old really quick. You start wondering if they all thought of it themselves. Is it the obvious joke that most people spot. Or are these jokes are just out there, like a virus in the minds of people. Perhaps passed on from father to son. Overheard once while standing in a queue, stored away subconsciously for future use.
I was probably over thinking it. But there's nothing better to do on checkout. It's honestly some of the most mind numbing lay boring work available. But it was valuable experience for a surly and self centred teenager like I was. Forces you to interact, and forces you to be polite to strangers. Life skills.
Sorry for the rant Mr Dad jokes, I'm stoned as tits right now
It's funny the first time you hear it. Then the second time you smile and pretend to laugh. The third time you hear it, you're wishing the person who said it would get hit by a bus upon leaving the store.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, I love dad jokes but most of the time when working with service employees, they don't think it's funny. After working as a waiter, that shit gets old quick.
No. It's pronounced fah-hee-ta. Not fagita. You aren't being funny. Nobody is impressed.
Kyddeath ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:27:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I love the fagitas, and the creeps most places make
I worked as a grocery store cashier for 5 years. I'd hear a "variation" of that joke almost every time something doesn't scan.
Or better yet, the mandatory question we're required to ask "Did you find everything you were looking for?". "Yes" -pauses for dramatic effect- "And more!" HAHAHAHAHA. Hearing that one a couple dozens of times every shift without fail gets old really fast.
We in the public service industry love a joke. We really do. You should hear the ones we tell about you. That being said, we ask each of you budding Henny Youngmans to answer two questions before you offer us a joke:
1) Are you unsubtly using the joke to demean me or place yourself above me in the power structure? (ie "Well, there goes your tip! LOL!")
2) Is this the kind of thing your grandfather used to find riotously funny after 3 cans of Old German? (ie "Can I get you anything else?" "Yeah, a million dollars would be great! LOLOLOLOLOLOL! Hey Bernice! Bernice! Hey Bernie! I told him to get us a million dollars! He doesn't even have a million dollars! I'm a sharp one, I am!")
If the answer to either of these questions is either "yes" or "maybe", then your only course of action is what samurai referred to as "the honorable way".
DalekBen ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:12:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sudoku?
Kyddeath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ask how much is 1.5% of the bill after leaving 20%. Barely leave less then 15% unless the service was horrible
macsb ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:03:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, u/backstept is just filled with contempt for customers.
I honestly never cared when people made this joke when I was a cashier. It's really not as big a deal as people make it out to be.
anewdm ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:25:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For real, I work in retail and I just see it as people showing they aren't annoyed by the mild inconvenience
atsu333 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:45:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of store? I feel like that could make a difference. For me, it was Wal-Mart, where at least 50% of the customers are constantly trying to screw over the company to save a couple bucks. When people said that to me, I didn't respond, because it was very possible that they meant it, and I wasn't going to acknowledge that.
I've seen customers start big fights over smaller things.
Walmart deserves to get screwed over. They treat their employees like shit, and they funnel their profits offshore to avoid paying taxes. They are literally sucking dollars out of the economy to make their upper eschelon richer. I don't usually steal from businesses, but wal mart is the exception. I make sure to rip them off at every conceivable opportunity. They embody the greed and corruption consuming american culture.
atsu333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But by being a dick to the employees there, you're doing nothing. You won't get any special discounts or anything. If you're being a dick you might just be refused service. As far as just plain stealing... Meh.
When I was a cashier it heard this every day, multiple times a day. pls set us free
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband does this as well....I cringe every time. :-/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Make him stop
maleia ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:26:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having worked a lot of retail jobs, I simply would divorce someone that demeaned other retail workers like that without stopping.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't realize it was demeaning. I never even thought about it that way. It's just flat out annoying to hear the same jokes all the time. I worked in fast food a few years ago and heard the same jokes repeatedly.
In a similar vein if you are somewhere that has you pull tickets. If you are the only person there and the person at the counter waves you over they've heard every joke about pulling a ticket you can come up with.
typhyr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Knowing you're a dad is 90% of the battle.
kazog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know you mean well... but anyone working is some form of retail/restaurant heard that at least 5 times. And by that I mean 5 times in the last hour.
Plz refrain from making this kind of joke. We still appreciate you.
Dyne_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the next time someone checks one of your 50 or 100 dollar bills with a counterfeit marker, don't respond with "Careful, the ink's still wet!" It's overused, and my face hurts from fake smiling.
It's important to remember that any joke specific to a profession has probably been told to them 1000 times. I always apologize after and ask how often they hear it.
Yeah as a cashier I just feel super awkward when someone says it cause I can't tell if they are being serious and I can't just give something away for free
When you work at a grocery store, nothing is funny or original anymore. It's not your fault.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I lie and say that the tag said a slightly lower price than what I remember. Works about 10% of the time, they just punch in the price I suggest.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I donno. That kind of thing never bothered me when I was a cashier. It was nice when someone acted like I was a real person, even if their humor was corny or unoriginal. If you get that pissed about someone making a corny overused joke, I doubt the joke is the problem. That said, yeah it's a pretty old joke that should be retired.
If an employee is loading something heavy you just bought into your car don't ask them if they're going to come home with you and help unload it.
Crivens1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually respond, "It's priceless." Which in my high-end workplace it probably is. As a dad, you could jump directly to this version, fulfill your dad-joke needs, and give the cashier a little break from the monotony.
Your edit is another thing people in this thread hate. Don't do it. If u get upvoted, accept it silently.
GRXVES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that annoying I always laugh at customers that do this because it's usually a joke.. But there are some customers (older Italian/Greek men and women mostly) that fully mean it, or ask about a discount about 5 different times throughout the transaction, as if I, a measly sales assistant has that kind of authority to just hand out discounts willy nilly.
As a cashier, if u say it as a joke, it's fine. I'll laugh. I hear it all the time, sure, but it's said in a fun spirit and it shows you have a sense of humor. Even if I'm not laughing at the joke, I'm laughing with you because you are an enjoyable person.
It's fine. It gives the cashier a moment to work out what the fuck to do and let's them know you are going to get pissy at them for the slight delay.
flustard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a grocery store cashier, and to be honest, it's not that bad. You're clearly just making a joke and trying to be friendly, so even though I've probably heard it 5 times already that day, I'm not mad that someone made a joke.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you say it to some one who is obviously on day one of being a cashier then that's fine. By day two you've heard it at least a dozen times.
Sajun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know what? I never realized that on the other end of the counter when I did retail that the other person may have realized what a shit job I had and just tried to make my day a little better (even if unintentionally it had other consequences).
Thanks Sock_Ninja. At least you're trying to make the world a little bit of a better place.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only annoying because the cashier hears it all the time. I remember I used to wait for someone to say it to me when that happened. And hearing it over and over mixed with the notion that the customer actually invented that joke is what drove me crazy. Am I supposed to laugh? I tried, I forced a smile at least. Just enough so it wasn't awkward.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I'd much rather deal with a 1000 people doing that stupid joke than with the one person who is actually demanding it should be free. While hearing that joke is a little bit annoying, at least you are trying to be funny and friendly.
Yep this, and also when the price rings up as some arbitrary year like 19.29 and the customer is like, "That was a good year!" No it wasn't bitch! That was the start of the Great Depression!
The problem with dads jokes is that there are a lot of dads ... and they aren't the only people repeating the same stupid joke to someone just trying to do their job.
Kirasy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But seriously we serve hundreds of people per day and to hear "it must be free then" "I'm just gonna count out all of my change" (that one is a good one, hold the queue up please no one has any plans today) and my all time favourite "because I've bought a few of these is there any sort of discount you can give me?"
No. No I cannot just authorise your discount because you bought 4 bags of chocolate fucking riche. Would you walk into ASDA and ask for discount because you bought 6 packets of crisps even though they are neatly packed in a multipack?!
Just buy your fucking stuff, remember your pleases and thank yous and I will wish you a nice evening as with everyone!
PS: this rant wasn't aimed at you, OP. Customers are just some of the most annoying people ever :)
The only time I have ever asked for a bulk discount was for an entire 400 ft spool of paracord from home depot. All other spools of rope/cordage had a discount price from the per foot, and I didn't see one for paracord. I asked the cashier if I might have missed it, and he shrugged and gave me one anyway.
By all means ask when you bulk order something. But generally this is the experience I have in my job (Thorntons the UK chocolatier):
I am not authorised to give discounts apart from ones my manager or head office have provided.
If you ask for a discount the only people to organise it are my manager or assistant manager
Generally you will have to buy bulk of at least ยฃ150 for her to even consider it. I'm pretty sure company policy is either 150 or 1000, I can't remember which.
Aesop4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That edit is a phrase that makes me hate people instantly
Why does the thanking for gold make you mad? To me it just seems polite.
Aesop4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:59 on August 28, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because everyone says it and it can ruin a funny comment. Like you could just pm the person if you know who gilded you and if it's anonymous they know you're grateful. No one's upset to get gold.
80Eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you finish eating at a restaurant do you also say "oh we didn't bring any money so ***** here will have to go in the back and wash dishes! YUK YUK YUK!" ?
That feels like forcing a joke. I guess I say what I normally say as a way of acknowledging the issue in a lighthearted manner, so the cashier knows I understand there is an issue and I'm not upset about it.
80Eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it happens about as often.
Source: Was a waiter. Felt dead inside every time I laughed at dishwasher jokes.
When I worked in a pharmacy, people would say this all the time and it never once bothered me. Lighthearted friendly humor, no matter how dad-jokey, was always welcome.
It was a nice break from the old woman who would make comments about gay men being "girly men," or the woman who wasn't taking her psych meds and would randomly call me a bitch, or hearing a patient I really liked died, or having my coworker remove all of my hubcaps and replace them with four different hubcaps from four other cars.
I guess how those jokes are perceived depends on context.
Jacross ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:11:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not terrible except for the fact that every single human on t g e planet is programmed to make the exact same joke and does make tge exact same joke and when you hear the exact same joke 109 times a day you start to get very depressed about the human condition and our deluded sense of individuality.
Don't forget when the cashier checks $50 and $100 bills: "oh, i just printed that this morning!"
Fuck you. It is not funny joking about counterfeiting money to people who handle cash all day. We will give you the god damn death glare.
Cat-_- ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 18:43:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People don't realize that cashiers hear the same lame jokes over and over again all day. After a while I would just give the same "funny" response to every single one of them:
"You did a good job, print some for me too next time" :)
I work in payroll/HR and I'm in charge of getting manual checks (outside the normal payroll) processed and signed. Any time I run into someone in the elevator when I have checks in my hand, they say, "Those for me?"
I usually respond with raised eyebrows, "You don't want these checks." My manual checks are almost always termination checks.
When I was 16/17 I had a Saturday job working in a fruit and veg shop. Every single fucking Saturday, the same fucking bloke would walk in, buy a single fucking item (a lemon or an onion or whatever) and hand over the 22p or whatever it cost, accompanied by the line "last of the big spenders" followed by an over-the-top (but sincere) laugh at his own extraordinary wit. But of course being the employee I was under an unwritten obligation to join in the laughter while simultaneously wishing I could grab the nearest courgette and shove it down his stupid fucking throat.
I found that a clearly rehearsed and practiced response generally got me out of them expecting their "wit" to be appreciated or rewarded while making it clear that their joke was something I'd heard a million times prior.
For a lot of those guys, the groan was just as much a reward as the laugh - they know it's a bad joke, but they still feel clever for coming up with it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:10:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The common phrase "Still alive," when I asked how their day is going. My witty response is "great, because we don't serve liquor to zombies or the underaged."
Ugh, the cashier at Dollar General says that to every fucking customer who asks. They only have to hear it once, but I hear it so many times whenever I'm working.
Lucky for me I only work 4 hours a day! The joy of retail and a 16 hour contract!!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:40:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I called over a front end leader in that case to ask questions such as a reminder of what the pen does when a bill is counterfeit because the customer isn't sure his bills are real.
DQEight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who always sees the pen...what DOES the pen do when its fake money?
Yeah it turns really dark, almost a dark sepia brown. Real money, the pens will write a yellowish color. But i mostly hold the bills up and check for watermarks. I worked as a gas station cashier next to a busy highway, so we got our fair share of fakes. I started going by watermarks instead of the pens because people will wash the bills and print, say, a $100 on a washed and bleached $5. So out will still pass the pen test, but the watermarks won't much up
drivec ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:13:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, would you look at that! It is counterfeit! I'm afraid I can't take this and I'll have to report you to the authorities."
meisrly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:16:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My response to that was always "You know you just admitted to a felony right? If this were to come up fake it'd be right to federal pen with you." Always quieted them down...
This is the one for me. Worked in a town where cash was mostly used and we had a lot of counterfeits. Heard this EVERY DAY for 3 years
Crilde ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Used to hear this one all the time at Wendy's. One day I just wasn't in the mood for any of that nonsense when sure enough some smart ass busts out this gem. Well We had a little UV light to detect fakes beside the register, so I put the bill under it, feign disbelief, hold it up over my head in the light, then hand it back to the customer and said "I'm sorry I can't accept this, it's counterfeit."
Wow you sound like a pleasant person. I also handle money all day but share a cheesy laugh with a customer that says that, because it isn't his/her fault if I have heard that joke before.
I have a regular customer where I work that always responds with "Nah, I divorced her." I had to deal with that every fucking morning. Eventually I just stopped offering, then he started asking for bags. I swear he's fucking doing it on purpose.
StewBeer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:00:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Next time he comes in try to throw him off and then report back plz. Good luck
The cashiers are just as guilty of shit like this. This is just one example, but every single time someone walks into the "nearby" Dollar General and says "How's it going?" the guy working there says "I'm still alive!" I hear that at least 40 times for every hour I spend there. If he catches you looking at stuff, he'll say "If you touch it, you gotta buy it!" When he rings people up, he tells them "That'll be a million dollars." And he calls everyone "boss".
Lots of cashiers have their own little catchphrases and quirks like this. I never noticed it as a customer (just like I never thought much of my own jokes), but now that I work within a few stores, I hear the same shitty jokes over and over. I judge both sides equally.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pete Holmes does a hilarious bit about that shitty "must be free" joke that everyone seems to think is hilarious. You should check it out.
When I worked for AT&T in their phone center billing services several years back, this is pretty much verbatim conversation I had with someone:
Customer: "I was wondering why my bill is so high."
Me: [explain bill to her basically down to the last dollar, all standard voice and data charges]
Customer: "Can I get a discount?"
Me: "Not unless you get a discount through your employer or organization." [I then check for her and she isn't entitled to any discount]
How about a loyalty discount? I've been with you guys for 9 months and that's longer than most people are with their cell phone companies.
"Uh no, almost everyone is on a 2 year contract and are with us for that amount minimum. We also don't give any discounts for 'loyalty'."
"How about a good customer discount?"
"No."
"Good mother discount? My kids are doing well."
"No."
"If you don't give me a discount I will cancel my service and go elsewhere!"
"Ok, I can help you with that. If you disconnect, you will pay an early termination fee of $[xxx.xx], including your current bill and your upcoming bill. I can cancel your service immediately if you like and have my mouse on the cancel button. Would you like me to cancel?"
"Oh...well I mean no. I don't want to cancel."
"Ok, would you like to pay your bill with me then or through one of our automated systems?"
[Also, before anyone says it, this was when AT&T outsourced their call center work to a third party company here in the states. My department ("Receivables Management") did not have any metric about number of disconnects, just average call time and 7 day callback, so I could freely call people out on their bullshit, it was the best part of that job.]
dfladfsh ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:29:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi. I've been with you guys for ____ YEARS and..."
-Every single customer when you work for a cell phone company.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:19:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dfladfsh ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The only time you're on the phone with cell phone customer service for 5 hours is when you don't listen to what they're saying.
Like when they say you need a new sim card and you refuse to accept that and demand your phone work without one.
Spektr44 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:59:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was with AT&T for 10 years and they wouldn't waive the bullshit activation fee on a new contract phone. =(
I'm with Republic Wireless now, no shitty inflated bills.
dfladfsh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a company that sells all the different phone services so I hate them all equally. Well I hate Verizon a slight bit more but yeah, they're all pretty terrible
I once had a guy get so offended that he checked every bill I gave him in change in the same way. He was doing it in a douchy passive-aggressive manner and I just wanted to say that one dollar bills aren't going to have the same watermarks and security features of the $100 he gave me; but whatever.
I had someone do that to me, I just smiled at him and said 'Oh I've already checked it' :)
I'm also not allowed to check ยฃ50 notes. This guy had like a ยฃ3 meal, got out a wad of notes, and paid with a fifty! I don't understand people sometimes.
Wow, a lot of people hear the freshly printed joke. I have yet to hear it. Now I'm gonna get unreasonably angry when I do hear it... But of course mask that with a fake little smile :)))))
My favorite is when a customer will actually try to justify why they believe they're "entitled" to a discount.
I work for a large toy store chain and every Thursday you get a 10% discount on most of the inventory if you use our credit card. I had a customer come in on a 'not-Thursday' with the intention of using his card to get the discount. Of course I had to remind him that the discount wasn't applicable that day. He asks if he may still get the discount, I tell him no.
Then he lays this golden egg of an excuse, "Well...I have a lot of toys..." No shit. That's what happens when you decide to come into a toy store with your children, just like almost anybody else who shops here.
fatalii ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:06:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I come back, return it, and repurchase it for the discounted rate?"
A coworker of mine actually went out of his way to unplug the open bag tag printer and rewire it so that it would be hidden below the counter, just so he wouldn't get people that see a discounted price sticker print out in front of them and ask if they can rebuy it for that price.
I worked as a pharmacy tech which is basically a glorified cashier/pill counter, and my most hated line was, "oh my God how can my prescription cost that much!?"
Since they reject my explanation that the price was set by their insurance, one or all of the following occurs:
1) Customer asks for the pharmacist who confirms that's the price.
2) Customer asks me to call the insurance who confirms that's the price.
And my favorite, 3) Customer demands for their prescription back, so they can go to our competitor who gives them the same price.
I don't know how common this is, but I was that customer once (#2 anyway) because the price they gave me was far more than what I had been told. I was expecting a $4 copay and they wanted $85. Apparently my prescription had been changed from the generic to something else for some reason.
I worked as a pharm tech for about a year. We had the $4 generics. We get scripts in that call for non-generic fulfillments from your doctor. If your insurance doesn't exclude name brand we fill it, even if it costs more to you. We assume you and your doctor had discussed this before coming to us. If your insurance doesn't co-pay for name brand then we call your doctor to approve and fax a new script with generic medication. I don't think any doctor ever said no to a generic switch.
lynk7927 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:33:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is "Can you go any lower?"
me raging in my head: "No mother fucker, this is not a flea market. It's a fucking retail store gtfo"
this was something i wasn't expecting when i first starting working retail. i had no idea that people would try to negotiate prices like i'm trying to sell them shit at a yard sale. some people even ask me to call a manager to double check if they can get a discount. how entitled and clueless can people be?!?
One of the main reasons I didn't become a cashier. I don't know how people do it. Telling the same jokes, hearing the same jokes, dealing with bitter people. No thanks. Guy I work with said it was great for the first week but he has regretted it ever since. It's pretty mind numbing stuff.
This is true, but it does eventually get better. I've been in retail/customer service for 13 years, and at this point I don't usually run the registers anymore, just manage those that do. You either get kind of numb to everything, or just start to find it all hilarious. A guy yelled at me for 10 minutes over the price of lemons recently, and it was the funniest thing I'd had happen in ages.
As you move up, you get more and more authority to deal with the assholes, which helps too. Still, I would not recommend it to the faint of heart.
I've been working at a mall food court for almost a year now. The numbing is quite real for such a dead end job. You're constantly waiting for the next anything. Next pay, next day off, next time you need to pay something. I'm currently on "next pay" stage, and most will be going to my outrageous phone bill. Alas.
Or you should order this and make major changes to the company 17-year old part-timer working at a large retail chain who has no power and doesnt give a shit about your job
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was home on leave my now ex-mother-in-law had my then wife and I waiting outside a restaurant with our kids for like 30 minutes while she harassed the manager trying to get free stuff because of some minor problem with the meal.
Shit like this is why retail is terrible. Someone accidentally labeled something with the wrong price tag and some guy actually called hr on me because I wouldn't sell it to him for the price on the tag (which was over $100 less than the true price). He kept saying "someone's gonna get fired over this" Hr basically told him to fuck off and he stomped out of the store murmuring about a lawsuit or something.
nnwan225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me as a sales associate:
customer: "how much is this?"
me: "hmm i think the price tag ripped off, let me go check for you at the computer."
customer: "LOLOLOLOLHAHAHAHA SO ITS FREE?"
me: (no bitch shut up you're not funny) "haha good one!"
Fuxagon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It doesn't have a price so it's free right?"
No, that's not at all how that works.
Where I work, we have to manually enter the prices (no scanning) and often the price stickers fall off and we have to call the department for a price check, so I hear that often.
Cashier: "Did you find everything you were looking for?"
Customer: "And then some! Lolololol"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry I won't risk my desperately-needed job just so I can improve your day by a barely-measurable quantity.
Bruhuha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or when people post "lol cashier forgot to charge me for something , guess im lucky" . No thats stealing you cunt go back into the store and tell them before someone looses there job for your stick of chapstick.
pjabrony ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whose job is it?
Torvaun ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:48:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ultimately, the owner decides prices. As a retail owner myself, I usually just go by MSRP, but some things have a certain leeway. Beyond that, I decide appropriate discounts and their application. Employees get 20%, later this month militaria will be at 30% off in honor of V-J Day, there are other discounts that get set up for local events, or teachers, or any number of other things. I decide what they are and train my employees.
I also allow my employees to offer 10% discounts at their discretion, but I don't tell customers about that, it's not for them to ask for, it's for my employees to apply.
Depending on the store it could be up to a manager (in a small business) or up to busy people in office to decide the discounts. I worked at TS and we literally didn't have an option to decrease the price. It is locked and final.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:14:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you actually saying that your morals, the ones you have only because of the parents you have and the environment you grew up in, are objectively better morals than someones who thinks about sex differently?
Good point. Though given that the majority of pronouns following that statement were 'she, and' I had just finished watching John Oliver's video on Sex Ed in the US. I got really annoyed that girls are immediately labeled slut for being sexually active. Just take a look at the video, its great.
Tupac was never convicted of rape. To be convicted of rape you have to be convicted of rape. What he was convicted of (a charge by the same women) was an ass grab with his hand. Tupac said he was in a consensual sexaul relationship with the woman before hand so placing his hand on her buttocks wasn't out of the norm, however he conceded he did not ask permission before hand. In a very, very, contraversial desicion the Judge gave him the full sentence possible. Even the Jury was shocked.
However, he was found not guilty of rape. Not guilty of assisting rape, not guilty of attempted rape. The most minor charge sent him down.
But I guess that's the power of a rape accusation. Here we are in 2015 and you still believe Tupac was a convicted rapist when in fact he was found not guilty, which is the exact opposite of a conviction.
sp106 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:19:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's also worth mentioning that tupac pretty much could not get a fair trial. He had strong connections to the black panther party and was persona non grata as far as the government was concerned.
and then a judge walks by and his brain fucking implodes
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:33:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention it was a misquote from the bible. The real quote was "God is my judge." Which basically means you are supposed to do stuff that God would approve of, so the exact opposite of what the original quote meant.
bcgrm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what my name means or something
Smgth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, fellow Daniel.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, "I'm trying not to judge you as hard as I can" is both more theologically sound and also sounds so much snarkier.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:10:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a girl with a chest tattoo that said this when I was walking into a hospital to see my mom. My brain just thought "No.. no.. I'm going to do it too."
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:06:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In highschool I was in the wrestling team and there was a kid who has this tattooed across his chest and another on his biceps that said gift of the gods. No shit.
I had a TSS that would say this to much. Funny, during sessions, he would bring me to the library and have me read the fucking newspaper for 2 hours as he worked on his website. One time, I was eating noodles when he arrived, and he spontaniously grabbed my fork and started swirling it around in the noodles. He decided that day that he would have me look up books on table manners. I already wasn't feeling well, and that made it 10 times worse. I fell asleep at the computer I was researching on while he worked on his blog. When he started criticizing me, I quoted Han Solo and said "Even I get bored sometimes, do you think I had a choice?". He was obviously pissed when I said that.
Another time, I was at school and he arrived with my BSC. I noticed they were talking and turned off the music I was listening to. I could hear that they were gossiping, slandering, and practically insulting everyone in my family. I told my parents. They were pissed.
Every time we worked at home, he would randomly say this stupid "I am here to help you, and you are making that difficult" speech. One time, he decided to bring up that I had a girlfriend and broke up with her between the passed few sessions (it was a large gap, as I changed TSSs when they found out about his blogging, but they did not remove him and couldn't find a suitable replacement). Nobody told him, so I'm guessing he either found out through company gossip, or is a stalker. He then tried saying that I have no friends and haven't made any. I told him that was wrong. He said "I'm talking about real friends, not internet friends!". I told him they were "real". He asked me I tell him their names. I told him I wasn't telling him their real names and randomly shouted 3 male names.
He also refused to take me places. If my family was going on a group trip, he wouldn't go, saying "it's not my job and it won't help you". If I had been given allowance money, and my parents said I could go with him to buy something with it, he would refuse, saying "My job is not to play board games or transport you anywhere, it is to help you become a responsible adult."
Therapeutic Staff support? And he talked to you like that? Sorry, I'm not really sure what a TSS does but if he's supposed to be supporting you, that is really unprofessional and rude. And just human-to-human, that's really fucked up
My geeky self can't hold back: 'Pantheism' is the idea that God is infinite, and therefore there is nothing that is not God. This is necessitated by the word, 'Infinite'. There can't be anything else, because saying something else takes ups space would be cause inconsistencies in the infinitude of God. By this logic, I can judge you, because I am God.
Edit: Unfortunately though, so are you. And so is that rock over there.
odin912 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that if I ever murder someone and get caught and go to trial and get convicted, immediately after the jury foreman announces the verdict, I would say "don't judge me. only god can judge me". That would really put him in his high-fallutin place.
I got this tattooed on my chest as an ambigram when I was 15. Luckily, it's pretty difficult to read at a glance, but the looks of judgement I get anytime my shirt comes off are still pretty hard to swallow. I still look at myself like an idiot every time I see it in the mirror. What's worse is I'm not a huge fan of Tupac, or the saying. I was just a stupid turd of a kid with some money and thought it looked cool. Unfortunately my mother was willing to sign off on my horrendous, permanent decisions. At least I can use a good portion of my tattoos as a reminder to think before I act, I guess.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"THOUGH YOU ARE CORRECT THAT MY FINAL JUDGEMENT WILL DETERMINE YOUR ETERNAL FATE, YOU ARE NOT EXCUSED FROM THE JUDGEMENT OF YOUR PEERS. CRITICISM IS GOOD! LISTEN TO IT!"
I work in a jail and inmates have this saying everywhere...or they wear crooks and castle wear and their motto is "can't stop the crooks"...yes...yes we can and we did, that is why you are here.
It's just patently wrong. Let's say god's is the only judgment you are concerned about - fine, whatever. But that in no way inhibits my ability to judge you.
Edit: My mistake, people. It wasn't what they called "shell shock" back in those days. But I DO know that PTSD did exist. In fact, there was a National Geographic article a while back about the first therapy centers that were established for WWI soldiers after the war ended.
[deleted] ยท 1900 points ยท Posted at 20:02:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
temalyen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:26:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While I mostly agree with that bit, the part about Shell Shock/Battle Fatigue/PTSD always sounded wrong to me. This is based solely off the fact that, when I was in college taking psychology (long before Carlin ever performed that skit), I remember reading about PTSD and thinking, "PTSD sounds like a hideous term. Shell Shock is such a softer term, makes it sound less bad." which is the exact opposite of what Carlin said.
Edit: To be clear, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder sounded like a horrible problem, where as shell shock sounded like something you could walk off to me.
Honestly? That bit strikes me as rather dumb. The term didn't change, our understanding of what happens did. PTSD is not Shell Shock. Shell Shock is shock. It may or may not including long term PTSD. The victim might be fine an hour later, and never have problems again. That's not PTSD. PTSD comes later. You know what they called PTSD in WW1? Malingering. I love Carlin, but him making it out like some moral issue with that last line, "maybe they'd get some treatment if we still called it shell shock" NO. Fuck you. PTSD victims used to be persecuted for "faking it" or for cowardice. When we changed to calling it PTSD, it was because we had recognized that it was a real psychological condition, one worthy of treatment and respect. Back when shell shock was a term, people with PTSD were called traitors.
jmerlinb ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:47:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, Carlin is awesome but he's 100% wrong here. Soldiers on both sides were executed for abandoning their post (the trenches) for any reason. No questions asked or psychological diagnosis given.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:36:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost as if you shouldn't be taking your historical lessons from stand up comedy routines.
Sass aside, Carlin here is preaching about the lack of humanity in a serious tone, where in fact PTSD is a disorder that you can receive medical treatment for. In WW1 they would just wait for you to quit shaking and put you back in the trench. His whole point is incorrect.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:56 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and unfortunately unlike redditors who are still alive, Carlin can't retcon his own knowledge cause he's dead. I do recall pretty much everyone considering that version to be historical fact in the 90's and 00's; we all believed it. i
G8kpr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember hearing stories that the Russians only had half as many guns as soldiers, and so they sent two soldiers with 1 gun between them to attack the germans.
If the guy with the rifle was shot, the other guy was to pick it up and keep running. If the guy without the rifle was shot.. oh well.
Apparently soldiers going up against german forces that all have guns was a bit demoralizing, and many russians simply turned and ran back, where they were promptly gunned down by their own officers as punishment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It also happens in the movie, My Way.
temalyen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:31:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd need to find the post in /r/askhistorians to be sure, but I seem to recall someone asking about that and being told that officers gunning down their men who turned back is a myth and never actually happened on any large scale.
Edit: To be clear, I think I also remember people arguing in the comments about that point, but I feel like the general consensus was it never happened.
G8kpr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's interesting, it's something I had heard many times, but I would not be surprised if it was a myth.
Wonder if it was propaganda within the Russian army just to make them fear running away.
I also thought that British soldiers were shot in WWI by their own officers if they deserted their posts. However I could be wrong on that as well.
Ysmildr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:19:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was very late in the war after the Bolsheviks took power but before Russia backed out of the war
Yea and it was even worse in WW2 under Stalin, somewhere around 20 million dead or wounded Soviets overall.
Ysmildr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, there definitely was questioning done. Maybe not in every case, but my understanding is theyd be questioned on why they left their post. Just got done with the hardcore history series on it so im by no means an expert but he specifically talked about abandonment of posts and questioning.
Yea just using 'no questions asked' as an expression. HC history is awesome. I was saying how they wouldn't take 'shell shock' for an acceptable reason to leave your trench (because then everyone would GTFO), they would shoot you for doing that.
Ysmildr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:03 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but that was at the start of the war, from my understanding they rotated them to avoid it
My whole point is that they would execute anyone who deserted their post. This was true for the whole war.
dawilli2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really think you're missing the point here. Language changes perception , thus reflecting into society. Understanding the condition is different from the rhetoric we give it. The point is softening the language, softens peoples reaction to it, and we have that happening today. Try to pay attention the language we've all agreed on.
Terms like PTSD are officially defined by the APA, an organization well aware of the power of language in shaping perceptions. My point is that PTSD is a better term that leads to better care of sufferers. The perception of the words "shell shock" include an exclusive connotation of war and combat, where PTSD can occur from far more personal trauma. Shell Shock is an exclusionary term that implies that sufferers who weren't in combat aren't experiencing the same psychological effect.
In world war one, Shell Shock was effectively a new epidemic. It had not been recognized before in medical literature. 306 British soldiers were shot for desertion, cowardice, or malingering, before it was determined that many were actually psychological casualties. The British government has since admitted this mistake. Even today those men are attacked for the misfortune of being subject to psychological harm.
PTSD isn't the best example of "softening" language. His part on "downsizing" was much better. Medical terminology is defined in a more cold and technical way, changing to provide a better fit to the condition. PTSD is a disorder that affects some people who have experienced traumatic stress. Maybe it was combat, maybe is was witnessing a suicide, maybe it was surviving a train wreck.
PTSD victims still have to deal with people accusing them of making it all up, but these days it's far more accepted as an actual problem than Shell Shock was. At least they don't have their own generals having them shot for it. The change to PTSD as a term has helped more people than it hurt. Carlin was wrong.
dawilli2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:26 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thanks for writing that out, honestly I appreciate it. I believe it is necessary for the medical diagnosis to be different and updated. PTSD definitely is more specific and properly identifying the condition. But for public discourse, and to Carlins point, it sounds too sanitary to the everyday person that it has no weight and therefore less meaning. Again, it is also a comedy routine. You can't deny that it is a very thoughtful idea. We're so obsessed with clinical terms and taking the life out of words, that the emotion is stripped from terms like these. Whether it be correct or not, I think that was his point. Anyhoo, I know you're an intelligent person and we can agree to disagree.
brikad ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:25:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, Shell shock isn't just "shock", it's a specific type of shock called Combat Stress Reaction. It's still not PTSD, though the two are often related as their causes are similar. It was also considered malingering. Oh wait, those aren't things I got wrong, just details I left out.
You can't draw a clear line between shell shock and PTSD because they didn't co-exist and they're products of two completely different understandings of psychology separated by over half a century.
They overlap in many ways, and they also differ in many ways. There's no neat dividing line.
There was acute and chronic shell shock, with the latter being most likely a close analog to the modern concept of PTSD.
Okay, I'll certainly concede on that point. There's very little about mental health that has any sort of sharp defining line. My main point still stand though, the advent of PTSD as a diagnosis represents a refinement in our understanding of extreme stress, and has resulted in better treatment for these conditions than were present in the days of "Shell Shock" and "Soldier Heart", not to mention the benefit of recognizing that PTSD is not solely cause by combat, but includes all sorts of traumatic events as possible instigators. "Rail Spine" for example, an early idea that we would likely consider PTSD today that was used to describe the long term problems suffered by those that survived train wrecks.
George Carlin is a great comedian, but the central thesis of that bit, that soldiers may have been better off if we still treated them for "shell shock" instead of PTSD, that PTSD is a symptom of softening language... that's what I'm arguing against.
Yeah, I wasn't with the guy saying you're completely wrong about everything while masturbating furiously. At least, I assume he was masturbating furiously since he couldn't take three seconds to mention how or why you were wrong.
I do like the term "shell shock", though. I guess I'm oldschool with my mental disorders. "Manic depression" has a great ring to it too.
Yeah. And I still feel I'm not so much wrong in that first post, as I made some generalizations over a very complex subject that would require a much longer discussion (say, the one in these subsequent comments) to even start to explore properly.
KilRazor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:52:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which really just further underscores your original point that PTSD and related disorders are complex and varied and probably not the best example of the type of silly, politically-correct euphemising that Carlin was otherwise deftly lampooning throughout the rest of that special.
Oh is that right? Prove it, please. Because what he just said makes a lot of sense and what I'm seeing from you is a whole lot of nothing.
brikad ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:40:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're asking me to prove common knowledge, but everything hiddenkrypt just pulled out of his ass flies with you, no objection at all?
This is why I fucking hate Reddit sometimes. Someone could say the sky is fucking purple, and the person who corrects them is always the asshole, never the idiot who posted erroneous information to begin with.
For a website so "anti-establishment", you morons always believe the first thing you're told, and cling to it like religion.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:00:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Nothing was wrong with the Vietnam soldiers. They were perfectly fine. Raging nightmares. Not Vietnam. Crazy cancers. Not Vietnam. Kids with birth defects. Not Vietnam.
Source: child of Vietnam vet. They didn't believe them for so long. Now they're all dying from cancer.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:34:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
after 25 years, my dad finally got involved with the VA. 100% disabled because of PTSD. Then, he got lung cancer. Right before he died they upped that to 125%....... um, thanks!
MeppeKR ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:04:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that was Korea. At least according to Carlin.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:02:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does every thread have the same conversations repeated ad naseum every time?
This one isn't even that bad/often repeated, but still.
Rmccar21 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:52:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
this is the result of a bunch of same media saturated internet dwellers trying to be relevant to each-other in order to get internet points translating a shared memory into a slight dopamine hit. For most of us its more logical for our subconscious to pull from other successes than to try a new conversational approach, and so repeated conversations. But you already knew that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That explains why people say the same things sure, but as you said I already knew that.
What really boggles the mind is that people fucking upvote the same bullshit over and over again.
It is mental laziness at it's nadir, the preference for already understand and processed information, and an unconscious sorting against of new ideas and thoughts.
It's ridiculous and somewhat scary.
jimmux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically, I now want to copy and paste this comment every time the question comes up.
BNLboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they had to build giant psychiatric hospitals in the US after WW2 to treat the masses of psychologically damaged troops. john huston mad a documentary about it.
The film was controversial in its portrayal of shell-shocked soldiers from the war. "Twenty percent of our army casualties", the narrator says, "suffered psychoneurotic symptoms: a sense of impending disaster, hopelessness, fear, and isolation." Apparently due to the potentially demoralizing effects the film might have on recruitment, it was subsequently banned by the Army after its production, although some pirated copies had been made. Military police once confiscated a print Huston was about to show friends at the Museum of Modern Art.
Fuck man, even back after the Civil War people had a name for it. They called it having "a soldier's heart".
Korvar ยท 1508 points ยท Posted at 22:28:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was an /r/askhistorians/ reply somewhere about whether Roman soldiers got PTSD. Obviously, diagnosing people from 2,000 years ago is somewhat tricky, but there are apparently writings from a veteran advising someone that the ghosts of the people you kill will haunt you. Which sounds like the intrusive thoughts and memories of PTSD to me.
I distinctly recall that thread also mentioning that PTSD tended to have a much different set of triggering stimuli in that era with some theorized stuff about how war becoming 'louder' and much faster with the advent of firearms and automobiles wound up changing them to the more modern triggers. Or one of them anyway. That question used to get asked on AskHistorians A LOT.
[deleted] ยท 241 points ยท Posted at 01:02:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
valvilis ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 02:01:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Soldiers lose limbs today from explosions, but it had to be something altogether different to cut off someone's limb, or get hit in the face with their blood spray. Modern soldiers don't often enter into a big confusing melee with friend and enemy alike moving past you in every direction. On the plus side, no roman soldier ever had to worry about that one mission he was on where they killed 10,000 civilians in an air raid.
I'm curious if the opposite is true. When you see an army across the field that you know you'll be engaged in a death struggle with briefly you have a chance to harden your resolve and tap into an innate animal instinct for survival. Hack enough people to bits and I'm sure it would haunt you, but I'd think it would be more haunting in modern day warfare to be walking and chatting with another soldier only for them to be gone a second later from an attack that you never saw coming.
A soldier trains to fight and win, in the latter scenario you don't get a chance to put up a fight and that seems to be the kind of thing that sticks with people. More data would be good as it is an interesting question.
PaulTagg ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:30:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yea it seems that the old way of fighting where you could "see" your enemy , might have prevented the psychological trauma vs the whole "What if they dont come back from patrol, what if this is the last time I ever played cards or had dinner with them " trauma.
Cause when you think about it, battles were kinda scheduled in the old days. Two large armies met up in a spot, they camped out, had a chance to prepare for the next day, and then attacked one anouther. People had a chance to say "Good bye" in a sense.
Well that's, old old days, even before the height of the Roman empire. Set Piece Battles were more early Greek City-State style, Skirmishes became an increasingly common method of warfare when people stopped fighting their neighbors and started building empires.
A Set Piece Battle was used to settle disputes between people next to you that you didn't really want to wipe out, or them to wipe you out.
A Skirmish was a tool of total warfare used when the goal became to wipe out your enemy so that you could take their stuff.
But when, say a Legion, got wiped out by an ambush there probably wouldn't have been many left to show signs of any type of PTSD. Though that would be the place were we would be likely to see similar psychological symptoms.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what 'set piece battle' or 'skirmish' mean at all. You have no idea what you're talking about. And both the Romans and the Greeks got involved in set piece battles and skirmishes throughout their history, what you say about empires vs city-states doesn't even make any sense.
It was a summary, I wasn't writing a dissertation. The intent was to break things down into the context of the conversation. While you're wrong and I do know what I'm talking about I agree the half measure was a disservice.
Edited because my hangover caused me to give a standoffish initial response.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:50 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay, re-reading my answer makes me realize I was super rude. My apologies for that.
There's a core of truth in your original post, but I wouldn't use the words 'skirmish' and 'set piece battles ' to describe the changes between Roman and Greek city-state warfare. I'd call the Greek way 'limited war'. The combatants had a tacit understanding where the losing side of the war would agree to a peace treaty after 1 or 2 major battles, rather than fighting all the way to the end or destroying the opponents' city, which would cost everyone much more lives and money if that would become the norm. The Romans however didn't do this. They never settled for terms, even after suffering a series of major defeats, and would carry a war through until their opponent's cities and population were completely devastated. The only kind of peace treaty the Romans would accept was an unconditional surrender. Their way of war was much more brutal and unforgiving than the Greeks', which I think is what you were trying to say.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:08:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It probably doesn't mean much, but I just wanted to say I'm glad you didn't have to sink any ships. And thank you for volunteering to put yourself in that position so that others don't have to.
I just wanted to take the opportunity to point out a common misconception people get from movies: that all battles devolved quickly into chaotic melees.
It's just like Hollywood swordfighting where the aim seems to be to hit the other guy's sword and not his body.
LaZspy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In that case, then, I agree. Especially on the note about movies depicting the Romans. I don't know why anyone would consider it cooler to see legionaries running about like chickens rather than fighting as part of a well-oiled machine...
I have killed 8 people. Every time I look my mom in the face she is looking into the eyes of a murderer. I am a monster, she deserved better than me. I wanted to be a hero and now people are dead. Those poor bastards probably loved their mothers as much as I do.
DaSaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:27:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ancient soldiers didn't have to run through fields of barbed wire against machine gun fire with shells exploding all around them (sounding like the loudest drumroll ever), all while starving, dying of thirst, sick from gas attacks, having just watched your friends die by sinking in mud...
World War 1 was probably the nastiest conflict.
Zuwxiv ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:00:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the use of hundreds of thousands of humans to force your way through some of the most heavily defended positions ever created. Wave after wave of men cut down.
I don't know which war I'd want to fight in, if I was forced to make a choice, but I know which one I wouldn't want to fight in.
The Great War is arguably the most senseless and gratuitous kind of carnage the world has ever produced.
I read somewhere one of the worst things modern soldiers can hear is 'affix bayonets'. If that's true I can only imagine what it would be like if melee was the only way to fight.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:57:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The "big confusing melee" is a hollywood invention. Ancient battles didn't really look like that. Not very often, anyway.
Ancient soldiers usually weren't in big confusing melees either. They relied on formations, if it was a big confusing melee that meant one side had broken and was about to be slaughtered by their still well-ordered opponents.
I agree, but also remember this was a time when people placed far less value on human life. People routinely died by the tens of thousands in large single battles (let alone campaigns) and I'd wager that soldiers thought a little less philosophically about their work. When you're fighting actual barbarian savages and seeing them die by the score it isn't quite the same as the smaller scale, more muddied engagements of today.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Modern soldiers don't often enter into a big confusing melee with friend and enemy alike moving past you in every direction.
Neither did any side that won, ever. They kept formation, because if they broke formation, they died. A formation means that you aren't fighting a guy by yourself, it's you and your buddies fighting some dude. And if they break ranks, they're the ones gonna die. If you break ranks, you better reform right quick, or be able to beat feet faster than their cavalry, or you were going to die or be enslaved.
That swirling melee? Hollywood bullshit. No one who wanted to win fought like that.
There were some very large massacres of cities by the romans, though, many hitting 10k, and some exceeding it (carthage, for example).
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 02:21:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even William Shakespeare alludes to it:
But if the cause be not good, the king himself hath a heavy reckoning to make; when all those legs and arms and heads, chopped off in a battle, shall join together at the latter day, and cry all, โWe died at such a place;โ some swearing, some crying for a surgeon, some upon their wives left poor behind them, some upon the debts they owe, some upon their children rawly left. I am afeard there are few die well that die in a battle; for how can they charitably dispose of any thing when blood is their argument? Now, if these men do not die well, it will be a black matter for the king that led them to it, whom to disobey were against all proportion of subjection.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 01:06:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but think about seeing your friends screaming in agony because they got hit with a mustard gas cloud as their mucus membranes became inflamed
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:09:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think a big part of today's is how sudden everything is. The speed of bullets, coming out of seemingly no where. Modern war seems so much more horrifying than ancient war... but then again I wasn't there, so I don't know.
Not only the speed of battle, but also the speed of the transition between being at war and being back home. I forget where I read this, but there's a theory that PTSD is so prevalent nowadays is because soldiers are literally at war one day and could be back home a week later. There's not enough time for them to decompress and adjust to being off the front lines.
In the past, soldiers had to do ALOT of marching to and from where they were fighting, they'd spend weeks just traveling to the where ever the war was taking place, they didn't have planes, trucks, fast moving ships or anything like that. So as they set out for battle they had time to acclimate to a 'war mentality' and the same is true for when the war is over, or they're discharged. They'd have weeks or months of traveling time to get back home, time spent with other soldiers, where they could sort of work out their issues or anything like that. They could slowly readjust to not being at war.
I know that soldiers nowadays have to spend a period of time after being taken out of a war to unwind before they're actually allowed to return home. But I think that fact that you could literally go from being shot halfway across the world to being back at home on a base within like two days, must be a crazy transition that many soldiers may struggle with.
djn808 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:08:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Roman soldiers in the battle of Cannae supposedly committed suicide during the battle rather than continue to be stuck in the Crush while being slaughtered by the Carthaginians
Aremnant ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:54:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was less the immediate bloodiness of it all, and instead how (recently) wars are constant. Think of it this way: in an ancient army, a battle might last a week, in which there are many smaller engagements, but for the rest of the war, you are mostly walking between battlefields- you really only have that one single week of hell. On the other hand, with something like WWI, you were always fighting- the front never moved, and even if there wasn't and 'official' battle going on, you and those around you were still shooting, killing, or dying on a near daily basis.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:49:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I If you listen to Dan Carlin's Hardcore history (amazing podcast) he talks about this. Pretty much PTSD probably wasn't as prevalent because wars, up until ww1, where fought in battles that rarely lasted longer then a day. But with the creation of massive armies and mechanization battles now lasted months, and involved a lot more casualties and more people coming back with PTSD
TLDR; big battle bad, short battle good
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As I always say when I see Hardcore History mentioned, it's a great and interesting podcast, but not very historically accurate.
Eh. Battles were also much smaller scale, generally shorter, and you can SEE the guy swinging a sword at you and have a reasonable shot of blocking/dodging and striking back. Not so much with small slivers of metal being fired from 200 yards away. Plus up until the advent of railroads/the automobile wars pretty much ground to a halt during the winter given that a pretty significant portion of most pre-modern militaries consisted of drafted farmworkers who needed to return to their fields. Plenty of time to think about their experiences and discuss them with fellow veterans before returning to war come spring.
Obviously hacking people apart is still a traumatic experience unless you've successfully managed to totally dehumanize your enemy but premodern armies had the benefit of (usually) having significantly longer periods between engagements on top of returning home for the winter rather than the constant blitz of combat anxiety soldiers tend to experience on modern battlefields...or at least thats my theory anyway. Can't confirm it with any real certainty though given that PTSD wasn't even a diagnosed condition until a few decades ago.
Here's my perspective, you can compartmentalize hacking one to death, because they are trying to do it to you, so you are simply saving your own life.
One problem with modern PTSD is the uncertainty. It comes from the fucking IED's. You are in a country for 7 months, 4 months of waiting, working, expecting, nothing ever comes. Then boom. Immediately your life has changed forever in a millisecond. From that point forward you are always "on alert", always expecting another boom. It fades over time, but comes back in an instant sometimes.
I didn't shoot anyone, but my friends did in Afghanistan. They said the shit we saw in Iraq with IED's was way worse.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:16:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry for that. It's a reality of war though, and it makes those of us still here live better lives by living in their honor since they don't get to.
Indeed. Constant combat anxiety, even long after the initial trigger has disappeared. Combine that alertness for specific triggers with an immediate fight or flight response...well, it doesn't really surprise me that a pretty large percentage of veterans diagnosed with PTSD haven't even seen combat. Probably also worth pointing out that extremely loud sounds (like say...an IED exploding off in the distance) is one of humanity's most primal, ingrained fears as well.
It isn't all bad. I don't like to admit it, but I do have PTSD. However for me it is kind of beneficial. Rather than burying myself in drugs/alcohol, I bury myself with work. I take on excessive amounts of work and get it done, all looking for that rush, all looking for the stress.
When I get bored, the doubt and the guilt and the anxiety creep in. So I don't let myself get bored.
JTtheLAR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is nothing "eh" about fighting mano a mano with bladed weapons. I imagine it being a pretty intense event.
I'm honestly not too educated on the specifics, but I know distance is definitely a pretty big factor in terms of things like being traumatized by the act of killing. Stands to reason though, I'm sure theres a pretty massive psychological difference between the feeling of putting 3 rounds in a guys center of mass from a few hundred yards where you can't make out his features and a desperate spray into the guys chest from 5 feet.
When I read up on this, the sources I had said that it wasn't as bad as people think due to the face plates on armor. The brain has difficulty linking the armor to a person because there are a lack of facial features. Even in close combat, the fighters never really saw each other, just the outside of the armor.
But it was more organized then. People knew when and how they were fighting then. Today it just seems random, like you never know what's going to happen minute to minute. That seems a lot more stressful (in the long term) than standing in a line and thrusting out a weapon right in front of you at designated times and places.
Taleya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:19:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's also the difference of day-to-day life.
Right now we live in a heavily sanitised time. We're separated from the bloody, messy reality of death for the most part. It's all cleaned up and packaged. Then you hit the reality of war, and it can REALLY fuck you up.
Not saying romans didn't have PTSD, but living in a time where you'd butcher your own animals for food and for religious sacrifice would have prepared you better for doing the same to a human, as opposed to living off mcnuggets then having to blow someone's head off.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:52:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I've read that the Hollywood vision of two armies with swords running full speed at each other and slamming into each other never really existed outside of the movies. Ancient combat involved a lot of formations, shield walls, etc. There wasn't a whole lot of up-close hacking and slashing.
The other thing is that in modern warfare, most people don't die from being shot. In the most recent war in Iraq, American soldiers fired 250,000 bullets for every 1 dead insurgent. In modern war, it's artillery shelling, bombing, airstrikes, and disease that kill far more soldiers than bullets do. In fact, you're more likely as a modern soldier to be killed by friendly fire (for instance, a miscalculated air strike) or an enemy roadside bomb than you are from actual combat where you and the enemy are trading shots.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:08:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if you have access to it at your local library, have a look at Col. David Grossman's book "On killing"
it addressess many of the issues in this thread
x3nodox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the flip side, seeing your friends get blown up by an ied probably doesn't have good parallels. War is brutal.
Maybe, maybe not. Warfare back then was a helluva lot more... civilized than later wars. The Battle of Agincourt was more like a tennis match. There were observers who declared a winner.
Ehhh.... what? I doubt very much you have any idea what you're talking about. Thousands of people died at Agincourt. French knights literally drowned in mud puddles six inches deep by the hundreds.
There was no question as to which side had won.
Andy06r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AskHistorians said that the knights got stabbed in the eyes by the longbowmen after they joined the melee, completely helpless to resist...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It has a lot to do with how wars are fought. It's one thing to march to a giant field, and then clearly see the other side and then fight. It's another to be deployed against a guerilla force when whether sleeping in your bed or out on patrol you can get blown up with no notice.
I've also read that there has been an increase because the battle lines are less clear. Your "enemy" isn't wearing a gray uniform instead of blue - it could be the little kid on the side of the road or a merchant selling fruits and vegetables.
Thats almost definitely a solid contributor. Rather then specific, conditioned responses to the sight of specific uniforms/symbols it becomes a constant anxiety triggered by a menagerie of stimuli.
Our culture is also much softer than it was back then. You can get a good sense of this from third world countries. Death, dead bodies, and other fucked up shit is common and not out of the ordinary. Now we take these people from relatively sheltered environments and plunge them into chaos and war and you get the recipe for PTSD. Romans were likely more desensitized to death and violence than a 21st century adult from the suburbs of the US.
That's just one aspect, PTSD is very complicated and differs from person to person. Your brain can basically rewrite its neural pathways on the fly without you knowing about it. All of the sudden you have these defense mechanisms set up to protect you, but now you are back in the US and they are detrimental to your now normal life.
Honestly I kind of doubt it was TOO different. Rome DID emphasize martial valor and duty far more than most modern day 1st world cultures but for the most part they didn't go to war on the homefront. Gladiatorial battles weren't often to the death so if anything I'd say that the average person now is far more saturated with exposure to death via 24 hour news cycle and movies/television.
Your brain can basically rewrite its neural pathways on the fly without you knowing about it.
Is that something that would be more common in younger people? I wonder if an older person (say in their mid to late 30s) would be as likely to get PTSD under the same circumstances as a younger person (18 to early-mid 20s).
It varies from the experience of a person, it has nothing to do with age. Age may give you some experience, but unless it's with seeing entrails, and dead children it likely will not help you. The brain is amazing in how it adapts to an environment, however it can't really effectively convert back to it's original state. If you go through some harsh combat for 12 months, you brain will rewire itself to deal with that, but when you get home your defense mechanisms it created stay with you. Like I've said it depends on each person, but it can really fuck with your head, in ways that you do not even realize or have control over.
mas752 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Roman soldiers did have to kill people in their own platoon if the group had to retreat,
Yeah that would be decimation. They'd be forced to draw lots and 9 out of every 10 men would beat the remainder to death. However, as far as I'm aware the practices has only actually been used a handful of times since it was almost universally seen as a cruel and unusual punishment even by Roman standards. So it tended to be reserved for extreme cowardice or mutiny or as a political tool of particularly cruel, vindictive emperors. Definitely not at all a common occurrence.
trigga trigga trigga I'm one hunnid percent trigga
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
War happens slower now than it used to, and I think that's a huge contributing factor. Before World War I, you didn't have battles that lasted months. Most of the time they'd be over in a few hours.
I read a book not too long ago that talked about this a bit and they mentioned something that I found very interesting:
The war experience in the classical period was different to modern society in that a soldier in modern warfare can go from the front line of combat back to home in a matter of hours. In the classical period, most combat took place many days march from home. The resulting march home after combat provided a much needed time for soldiers to discuss things they'd seen, done, etc, providing a cool-down before they reached home. With the modern soldier the shift from combat to mundane home-front is extremely jarring, leading to increased chance of PTSD.
Not totally sure if he's accurate, but it seems to make sense to me.
I'm pretty sure there is a cool down period of about a week when you just hang around a base somewhere safe, specifically because we noted this phenomenon after Vietnam.
It is a good point. A big way to cope with PTSD is relations; ie someone that can relate with you. Matching home, you can discuss the period of b horror with those who were by you, remorse the loss of friends and utilize grip therapy, even if therapy isn't the goal. Brotherhood is a big deal for a combat veteran.
Today, people come home to a peaceful life really fast and have no where to go to discuss the experiences. It was difficult for me personally and I swung into deep depression at times. I kept it in not wanting to burden others, but when I finally broke down I was fortunate enough to have support around me. Others are not so lucky.
Quastors ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:12:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Less even the classical period, back when slow troopships were the primary method for moving troops to and from war they'd have a lot of time.
The fact that you would live in the same city or community as many of your war fellows probably helped a ton. Nowdays our soldiers at the end of their tours split up to different parts of the country and end up all alone surrounded by people who dont/cant really understand why they have been through.
I guess back then they weren't expected to come home and spend months fruitlessly writing cover letters and resumes customized for each job. They likely had something solid, familiar, and practically guaranteed to come back home to. If someone who reads this has more insight into typical Roman labor/economy, let me know. My assumption is that most would just go home and work on their own family's farm, which sounds a lot less stressful than most work today.
There's that. Then there's also that whole unyielding killing rampage he goes on after becoming distraught by his companions death. Maybe it has something to do with dragging Hector around the back of his chariot too after he kills him. Who knows. shrugs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, you're right. I just wanted a reason to say "You sack of wine!!"
Odysseus in America by Jonathan Shay uses parallels from the Iliad when discussing PTSD. What stuck with me most is his theory that (paraphrasing here) trauma that occurs in a group can best be healed in a group.
I also remember seeing some stuff related to that about how years ago (before WWII, really) the time from soldiers being in battle and actually going home was significantly longer than today (where it's just a plane ride away) and thus a huge issue with modern soldiers coming home is that their world is turned upside down so much quicker than it was before.
I imagine that the faces of the people you brutally sliced open in the chaos of bloody battle with swords and blunt objects probably does wonders to the psyche.
Yeah, snipers apparently have a real difficulty with PTSD because they, ironically, have to see the people they kill up close. It is one thing to kill a man who is shooting back at you, it is another to kill a man who is a high priority target but is current just sitting down for a nice tasty meal (or some other mundane task which will be his last chosen act upon this earth, though he doesn't know it at this particular moment).
It's important to keep in mind that the Romans generally believed that ghosts were real, though. A large part of pagan worship in the Roman world was designed to please various spirits, or at least to stop them from doing harm.
i_ANAL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not like the human brain has significantly changed in thousands of years. It seems patently absurd to me that susceptibility to psychological trauma from events is a modern occurrence - I expect it is as old as man. Further, it's not as if only soldiers get PTSD (even if they get all the press) as anyone going experiencing a traumatic event may suffer from it (car crashes, house fires etc etc.). Empathy is nothing new.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When pussy-ass romans got ptsd we were fucking happy to die on the battlefield as hysterophemia (to be remembered after death) was our highest honor. Now we are fucking maggots :(.
EDIT: I'm Greek...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bah, that's nothing. Not only was dying in battle an honor for us, but those who fought valiantly also ascend to Valhalla to drink and feast with the gods and fight beside them during the final battle of Ragnarok.
EDIT: I'm a Viking...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ok yours is cooler, fuck off :D
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PLOT TWIST: I'm not really a Viking.
But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
Hopefully they mentioned the book Achilles in Vietnam. That was a great, eye-opening read.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
got a dollar? dan'd love to have it!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd wager a guess that PTSD from ancient times up until the Renaissance was probably more seeing the men you killed than recalling the terror of a firefight, especially since to kill them you had to be up close and personal most of the time.
Everyone seems to be assuming that the ancients were just like us psychologically. We have to remember that these were the same Roman legions that upon conquering a city took seeming delight in looting and burning, in slaughtering the men while rounding up the women and children into the slavers nets. Its important to remember that ancient Romans had a very different view of the morality of war and a very different attitude towards their enemies than we do today.
Musaks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It would really surprise me if somehow soneone clains that ptsd wasn't a thing back in those days.
Battles were war more chaotic and gruesome than now...i believe the emotional and psycological scars that left could even be far worse than nowadays
I remember an ancient history lecturer discussing Achilles having PTSD.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's tricky because war changed drastically in the 20th century. The image of two armies charging at each other swinging swords, clashing into each other at high speed, and the battle ending with bodies strewn all over the field is a Hollywood invention. Ancient battles were a lot more calculated. They also happened much more quickly and were generally over in a matter of minutes or hours.
World War I changed all that. The Soldiers and Commanders were used to previous wars where battles were over in a few hours. Now they found themselves embroiled in battles that lasted months. I think a lot of PTSD can be attributed not to warfare but particularly the modern methods we use. World War I soldiers were traumatized by the constant shelling, gas attacks, hearing their friends scream for hours in no-man's land, etc. None of these things were elements of ancient Roman battlefields.
bionku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The jokes on reddit are nice, but this is the stuff I love stumbling across.
Anyone who has been to war and seen the horror, will have PTSD. Remember going into shock was once call brain fever.
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 00:13:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'PTSD' can only be fairly attributed to modernity though. Roman soldiers looked foreward to bloodshed, and would hope a town didn't surrender so they could sack it and rape the women. Public Executions were common in the ancient and medieval world. Even up until just recent times parents would bring their children to hangings to show them 'what happens when youre a bad person'. Extreme violence was just a part of their culture.
So while we are the same biologically to some extent, there are still social and enviornmental factors which need to be taken into account.
I'm not sure I buy that. We don't really have anyway to say for certain that just because they may have been culturally conditioned to expect violence that they didn't suffer PTSD. Also saying "Roman soldiers looked forward to bloodshed" isn't really a verifiable statement. Which soldiers, how do we know? We can't sample the opinions of a large sample of Roman soldiers to know what the man on the ground was thinking. We can look at societal norms and draw inferences from those along with other sources but still just because a society praises martial virtues doesn't prove that it's warriors weren't traumatized by their experiences.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:37:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. That's like finding a bunch of ancient vhs tapes of Chuck Norris beating everyone's ass with a fist and concluding that Americans were, by and large, fierce and fearless hand-to-hand combatants.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do people not know the horrible things that went on in the Coliseum in Rome? I am being downvoted to shit for saying that the Romans are more violent than we were today, jesus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except when it actually dictates operations, and an army specifically acts in a manner in which to maximize bloodshed. Rushing a town specifically so it cannot surrender is one instance that comes to mind which is recorded frequently.
I'm not trying to say warriors were never traumatized by their experiences, I just believe it was a lot more rarer than in today's battles, where gunpowder adds in a whole other depth (artillery barrages/RPGs and IEDs), and armies are in contact with each other for weeks or months at a time, prolonging combat, whereas ancient battles you fought for hours once every few weeks/months/years. I also just believe it's important to not impress our morals and viewpoints onto those in the past.
I just don't know that we can say any of that with any certainty. Just because something is sometimes the best strategic and tactical option doesn't really have any bearing on the psychological impact.
I don't think we can really say too much about the rates of PTSD in the ancient world. While engagements today tend to be more prolonged and gunpowder is certainly horrific I don't think that individual battles were any less traumatic then. Think about two masses of men fighting line to line, close enough to look a man in the eyes when he goes, being covered in blood, sweat, piss, as metal clangs around you, hearing horses scream as they die, I mean it seems horrific to me.
I'm not so sure morals and viewpoints have much to do with the psychology of how PTSD occurs but rather how it is handled. We see PTSD occur in modern soldiers from vastly different cultures at fairly similar rates.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm saying the Romans deliberately took strategic options in order to maximize bloodshed. In order to be able to kill the men and rape the women. They would not do this if they did not want it.
Again, I believe you are attributing your own morals to those going into battle. You are fighting against an enemy that is very often alien to you, where there is hatred going across both sides.
They are still cultures which are nowhere near as violent and brutish as living in Rome was. I mean, senators beat Tiberius Grachus to death with pieces of furniture in the senate chamber. That screams of a society that is not like our own. We are much less desensitized to violence than they were, which would have an effect on how many people are traumatized from violence.
I think you are missing what I'm saying or I'm not communicating it well. Simply because something was done as a strategically sound move doesn't in any way have a bearing on how the men carrying it out experience it.
I don't think Morals have all that much to do with how the human brain process trauma, social conventions and morals have more to do with how we handle that trauma after the fact.
Being desensitized to violence doesn't preclude one from being traumatized by it. Desensitized simply means that they have normalized the action through repetition and have developed their own method of coping with the inherent trauma.
I don't think something like PTSD is all that dependent on social values or morals, I think it's an inherent mechanism of the human mind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying it was a strategically sound move though. The strategic thing to do would have been to save energy and just let the town surrender. Instead the troops . I think it's Livy who records the troops being excited to rape and kill. I think you're underestimating the amount of sadists that were able to perform to their fullest degree. The enviornment literally fostered and encouraged that behaviour, while today it is drilled into our head from when we are young that killing is bad.
I'm saying morals have to do with how we interpret trauma. Take a kid from the inner city and chop off a chicken's head in front of him and he might puke. Do that with a kid from the country whose seen it a bunch of times, and is used to the reality of the situation and he will see it as nothing. To assume that the kid who is used to it is somehow mentally damaged (because you are projecting your own morals onto him) is just bad historical practice.
I don't believe PTSD is an inherent mechanism of the human mind because there just isn't enough sources on it. I understand ideas of masculinity have suppressed it, even up to the time of WW1 where it was simply labeled as 'cowardice', but I still believe people just adapted to the situation.
Also, every battle isn't Cannae. It's probably an instinct to just assume every battle was horrific and traumatizing when it was not.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:34:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think seeing a hanging or an execution is probably a lot different of an experience than taking another person's life. Also, you gotta take into consideration seeing your comrade soldier who you trained for battle with get his head sliced off by an enemy sword. That would probably be a scarring memory..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are putting your morals on people in the past and considering 'taking another persons life' as being some horrific thing to them as it is to you. I also believe the death of a comrade would dimply be channelled into rage at the enemy.
Also, with modern battles the forces are in contact with eachother for a prolonged time. In the ancient world there was a battle lasting a couple hours, then months of even years until more combat.
definitely. you used to hear about the 1000 yard stare too. I was taken aback by how she didn't even consider the possibility that maybe we've learned more about it, changed the name
bjc8787 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:31:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
George Carlin (one of the greatest comics ever) had a long stretch of material about how the name got changed to make PTSD/shell shock sound less severe than what it really was. (If you don't like edgy comedy or curse words, ignore this link, but if you like comedy and don't know what I'm talking about, click the fucking link already god damnit).
libcuck ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 00:55:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
she
A lot of women have an empathy gap for men and boys. An emotional dead-space for their suffering.
And before the liberal idiots and white-knights start frothing at the mouth about "muh soggy knees", the empathy gap is a well documented phenomenon. Look it up.
Stargos ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:44:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny that you warn off liberals and yet when I mention the female empathy gap or racial empathy gab i get called a liberal.
I don't know why people are flipping out over your use of "shell shock". The term was poorly defined when it was in use, but it essentially referred to exceptionally negative psychological reactions to the stress of battle.
It was different from PTSD in the same way the archaic idea of demonic possession was different from the mental disorders to which it was applied -- it was a reflection of the state of society's limited understanding at time, but it was often applied to the same phenomena.
tl;dr Not everything that was called 'shell shock' would be considered PTSD today, but in many cases it would.
Some behaviors considered normal today were labelled as symptoms hysteria in the 19th century. Emotional outbursts, strong sexual desires, etc. While hysteria often referred to things like schizophrenia, BPD, and so on, it also came with a lot of ignorance and quackery.
Similarly, a soldier who was just frozen in fear was often said to have shell shock. This is a major point of departure from PTSD -- being afraid when your life is in danger isn't necessarily a disorder, but in that cultural milieu cowardice was considered such an aberration that it was often treated as a psychological disturbance.
My grandfather's cousin was "shell shocked" after the fighting in the trenches in WWI, they did not have a deep understanding of what PTSD was but it definitely existed
Battle fatigue was a term also used. George Carlin actually did a skit talking about how the same condition changed terms over the years to make a horrible condition sound nicer. "Shell shock", then "Battle fatigue", then "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder"
Note: He wasn't making fun of the condition. He was mocking how "the establishment" kept making the term sound nicer, but it didn't change how bad the condition can be.
orky56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And in Turtles in Time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you read anatomy of an epidemic?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you ever get the chance listen to the whole "blueprints for Armageddon" podcast by Dan carlin. In one episode he talks about being shell shocked. There were people who's couldn't move ever again from the psychological damage done to them, because of the sustained combat. It's why we have the systems in place now that we do, allowing people recovery time. There was none of that in WWI at least at first.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait so what's the difference between shell shock and PTSD? I thought they were the same thing.
ironw00d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shell was a term used in ww1.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fact: The term Shell Shocked fell out of favor after the release of the popular kid action cartoon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
there is the fact that before Vietnam it was much less likely that soldiers get PTSD because with Vietnam we had the invention of transport helicopters. You saw quite a bit more combat in quite a bit less time than at a time period such as WWI or something much further back.
Many soldiers may only deal with combat once a month or usually even less, whereas in Vietnam you could be in multiple battles constantly.
keno0651 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Watch Peaky Blinders on Netflix, it's about English gang members some suffering from PTSD after WWI. Also there is an ongoing WWI series. They post weekly videos to discuss that week 100 years previously, along with other great content.
There's a great short story by Hemingway called 'Soldier's Home' that explores the notion of shell shock. The soldier returned from WWI to a hometown that was unchanged by the war from the perspective of a man who was drastically changed by it and how no one in town really understood what he was going through, nor did they really bother to understand.
Also, didn't soldiers from long ago, suffer from this? I remember stories of knights who would would wake up screaming in middle of the night from nightmares of battle.
PichlerD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ptsd was also a little less common in veterans for 1 very important reason
After a war like world war 2, it could of taken months yo get back to the USA. Long train journeys and boat journeys with other soldiers. It helps to put some issues to bed.
Now you can go from Iraq and be home within 2 days.
Without the down time in between war and real world, people find it much harder to adjust
jwgrabo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The term "Shell shock" was actually coined in WWI by a British psychologist names Charles Myers
I had a teacher share a theory that PTSD and similar conditions were less prevalent after those major wars because it took so long to come home. You pack all these soldiers who went through these traumatic experiences, more or less together, and send them home over the sea for a few weeks, and they go through a type of group therapy. These days they spend ten or twelve hours on a carrier plane, which is almost traumatic itself, and then get dumped them back into life with people who don't understand what happened.
In fact, there was a National Geographic article a while back about the first therapy centers that were established for WWI soldiers after the war ended.
They are also constantly being mentioned in books from those days, e.g., Erich Maria Remarque in the "Black Obelisk" talks about people in hospitals for whom war never ended - they are still being burried under piles of mud during artilery fire, they are still being shot at.
alsdjkhf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe in WW1 they referred to it as "neurosthenia" because they thought for a while it was literally your nerves being shredded by the fighting, rather than anything psychological. If my English Literature studies did not lie to me, it was a man named Dr. W.H.R. Rivers who first came up with the idea of the "talking cure" that we have today (At least to deal with soldiers I think)
The term "posttraumatic stress disorder" was coined in the late 1970s in large part due to diagnoses of US military veterans of the Vietnam War.[5] The concept of stress-induced mental disorder was already known since at least the 19th century, and had been referred to previously under various terms including "soldier's heart", "shell shock" and "battle fatigue".
Back in the day, basically any mental problems were lumped together under "psycho crazy who needs to be locked up for their own good". Depression, postpartum depression, PTSD, anything. It was a weakness of character. Soldiers used to actively avoid being sent home for battle fatigue/shell shock because they saw it as being sent away for being too weak.
(By back in the day I'm specifically referring to WWI/II, but it was probably like that farther back, too.)
mavvv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It almost eliminated counseling psychology because their roles almost always overlapped at the time - dealing with war veterans.
No, any long term negative mental effects soldiers experienced were considered shell shock. It was, as far as I can tell, considered just longer lasting result.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:14:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shell shocked is different I thought
JohnPeel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it didn't. Shell Shock is now just "shock". It may pass quickly with no long term issues, or it may result in PTSD. It's a different thing. In WWI, the term for what we now call PTSD was Malingering, and was possibly a reason for a court martial. When we identified PTSD as a real psychological issue, we recognized it as something worth treating with respect. George Carlin was a great comic, but on this one he was wrong.
Shell shock was different, the constant concussions from artillery barrages actually caused physical brain damage. I am not downplaying PTSD, but shell shock was horrific.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:12:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're acting like it is by referencing a recent post as if that would be where they learnt it from rather than it being pretty common knowledge.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's hardly going to be at the forefront of people's knowledge.
I'm going to take a wild guess and say he only brought it up in response to a comment about PTSD because he saw that exact same thing in a funny video on reddit a few days ago.
Notice how at each step it gets bigger, filled with more Latin, and deflated of meaning, until we finally arrive at an acronym, the cockroach of language, that has no obvious meaning whatsoever to someone who has never encountered it.
You go from something descriptive and honest to something you have to be told about or be a member of a jargon speaking community to know.
Aegeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see what makes the earlier terms more "honest." For instance, it would be weird to say that a rape survivor suffers from "shell shock" when they're 1000 miles away from any exploding shells. Jargon usually gets invented to be more precise, not less so.
Anyway, as a layman, you're free to call it whatever the fuck you want if you aren't familiar with the official acronym. It's not like the Euphemism Police started arresting people who didn't use the newer acronyms, it just naturally worked its way into common usage.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:46:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its name has been changed a few times, started out as "shell-shock", Vietnam might have been around the time PTSD became the official name for the disorder if i remember correctly. George Carlin did a bit on it in one of his stand-ups.
Well, for one thing it went shell shock-> battle fatigue-> PTSD because doctors learned more about what causes PTSD and that it's not just caused by being in a warzone. The older names stem from a misunderstanding of why people in warzones react the way they do.
Post traumatic stress disorder is a mouthful, yes, but it's also a more accurate and descriptive name in the same way that hysteria is now understood to be a whole host of different conditions.
Certainly "battle fatigue" or "operational exhaustion" are euphemisms, but "post-traumatic stress disorder" emphasizes (a) trauma, and (b) the fact that the condition lasts a long time. "Shell shock", on the other hand, makes it seem like you got dazed and maybe need a stiff drink and a good night's sleep.
2. Shell shock is not the only kind of lasting trauma.
The phrase PTSD is useful because it is not a euphemism, but unites similar symptoms that occur in people who have experienced trauma for any number of reasons, often compounded by betrayal either by family, community, country, or just the illusion of safety and control in life.
3. Vietnam wasn't special.
People with combat-related PTSD, whatever the language around the phrase, have been betrayed after returning from war since time immemorial. That's not some new phenomenon following American defeat in Vietnam.
edit: I certainly said certainly like three times certainly in that first sentence; that was certainly too many.
DaSaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They called it "shell shock" during World War 1 because the symptoms finally got so physical they thought the cause might be, too, (and could no longer dismiss it as "plain old cowardice") and thought maybe the continuous concussive force of the noise from constantly exploding shells might be the cause. But that wasn't it. They literally went foaming-at-the-mouth mad from the constant, inescapable stress.
In fact, wasn't Vietnam the first time that the VA started offering long term psychiatric treatment?
Bazoun ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:40:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had an acquaintance tell me she got over her PTSD in a week by thinking positively.
I had another tell me I shouldn't throw around terms like that - I'm not a soldier so I couldn't have PTSD.
I guess the psychiatrist who diagnosed me wasn't as smart as you. And the long road to recovery I've been on could have all been avoided if I have just turned that frown upside down.
Yeah, I got those people out of my life.
ZombyTed ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:25:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need those people in your life.
MeppeKR ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 18:57:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What. An. Idiot.
And on that topic, I've had it with people who assume that everyone with PTSD has either been in combat or been raped.
feex3 ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 20:54:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Traumatic cat crash, checking in. Been three years.
Ninja edit: car crash. But the mental image of a cat crash is funny so I'll leave it.
Not sure if you're being serious and misspelled car or making a joke about cats.
feex3 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:48:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was being serious, and Swype decided to fuck with my spelling. It was a horrific crash. I was low speed, the other guy was doing about 55-60 when he slammed me. I couldn't use my left arm and shoulder for almost six months, among many other injuries. I also sustained a TBI (traumatic brain injury) to the auditory processing center of my brain, so my hearing is kinda fucked now.
I came away with PTSD to the point where I would panic and shake and throw up if I got into a car. I'm doing a lot better now, but it's still there. Meds and therapy have gotten me to the point where I can drive again, but I still get iffy sometimes. My last full-blown panic attack was about three months ago.
I'm glad you're doing better, and sorry that happened to you.
feex3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:08:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you :) I'm really proud of how far I've made it. Things were really iffy for a while and everything spiraled out of control. But I'm doing so much better now :)
When my aunt tried to resuscitate my father. In my pt and athletic trainer classes they demonstrated cpr and smacking the persons chest with both hands to restart the heart. When the professor showed us I had a flashback to that moment with my aunt screaming his name. I came back gripping the desk so hard my hands were white. I was completely there, reliving the moment for 10 seconds. I often think how Much more horrible it would be if it was a combat experience, and scarier for bystanders too.
feex3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, man. Flashbacks are the worst, and that shaken feeling can take forever to go away after it happens. I'm so sorry about your dad, and I'm so sorry you had to witness it... internet hugs
Spoor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But the mental image of a cat crash is funny so I'll leave it.
kpyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm I was in a pretty horrific car crash when I was about 7. I was the only one conscious afterwards and I still remember most of. From hanging upside down from my seat belt, to the guy that t-boned us laying in the street after going through his windshield. I was pretty much unscathed. The rest of my family wasn't as lucky but no one died at least. 20 years later and my sister is still affected by the brain damage she sustained, but you wouldn't be able to tell if no one told you.
feex3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty great that you were so lucky!
kpyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I got pretty lucky. I didn't get PTSD and I'm not sure how much it affected me mentally. I was pretty young. I can see how it can be very traumatic for people though. Get well, friend.
I have a lot of trouble expressing my experience in detail but it has a lot to do with fire alarms, intense physical pain and being unable to get out.
The incident happened nearly ten years ago and the last time I was crippled by it was last fall.
Menaleus had it, probably. After everyone cried about those lost in the war,
[Helen] drugged the wine with an herb that banishes all care, sorrow, and ill humour. Whoever drinks wine thus drugged cannot shed a single tear all the rest of the day, not even though his father and mother both of them drop down dead, or he sees a brother or a son hewn in pieces before his very eyes.
She drugged the wine and then started to tell "fun" stories about the war. This severe medication is likely a regular occurence.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:17:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Can you imagine the mental scarring of being in a medieval battle? Hacking other people's limbs with giant knives, blood everywhere, the constant screaming of pain and agony. Bashing somone's head in with a metal boot while he's staring right at you, with fear in his eyes..
and chances are if you actually were seeing this, you would be dead in the next ten minutes. try to keep your composure to live while seeing all that shit.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:21:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good lord, I recently had the chance to talk to my grandpa who served in the Vietnam War and he still has trouble telling me some stuff. I finally convinced him to tell me the story of how he lost his eye in combat. Yeah your friend is naive at best.
ZombyTed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa talked to grandma about Normandy, once, and that was it. Apparently it was pretty bad.
Jughead- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:13:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The belief that the diagnosis creates the problem is not uncommon among really stupid people.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:42:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While the condition is as old as time, the name "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder" is more general and really is relatively new. All the other names they use to call it were related to soldiers and combat, but anyone can suffer PTSD outside of combat, it's just soldiers are put in much more stressful situations than the general population will ever experience.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell your friend to read "On Killing" although they sound like they don't read.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please go kick that person in the teeth.
Xanza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Historians often cite Herodotusโ account of Epizelus, an Athenian spear carrier who experienced psychological problems after the Marathon Wars in 490 B.C., as the first recorded case of PTSD. But texts from Mesopotamiaโs Assyrian Dynasty (1300-609 B.C.) record traumas suffered by soldiers who were called upon to fight every third year during their military service.
Parysian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad says this. Says people were more grounded then and capable of getting over things like that. But he's always been of the opinion that previous generations were morally superior to ours. I can't even.
gotta call rule violation, as you described him as a friend, whom you presumably don't dislike.
arah91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is some truth to that. Mental disorders seem to be very particular to the society and person who manifests them. We can read about symptoms similar to PTSD all the way back to the roman times, but when we take a closer look at what the individual manifestations of it are in an individual it varies from WWI to WWII to Vietnam, etc. Though I will say there is nothing you can do that wont leave you changed.
Twitch92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps he meant the term, and not the condition?
MeppeKR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd want to believe that, but he also said that soldiers didn't come home changed before Vietnam.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to bash George Carlin's head in after watching that one skit. He just spent ten minutes bitching about a serious condition slowly gaining medical recognition.
They have always had concussions in football, but back in the day they used to just say "he got his bell rung"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to break up the circlejerk, but PTSD in soldiers that were in Vietnam IS/WAS noticeably worse compared to soldiers from more recent conflicts. In undergrad I had a lecture from a PhD candidate that was studying PTSD, and her research centred around studying the social and cultural influences of PTSD. Basically her thesis revolved around the idea that soldiers returning from wars that the public opposed (most notably Vietnam), develop much more severe PTSD symptoms. On the other hand, soldiers returning from publicly supported conflicts rarely experience PTSD, even after controlling for the circumstances they fought in. Your friend might have skewed the phrasing a little by saying it came into existence only after Vietnam, but it's not actually that idiotic of a statement.
They may have had other names for it as others have commented, but it didn't stop soldiers being shot by their superiors for "cowardice" right through WWII it was still happening
Interestingly, some historians speculate that rates have gone up, now that soldiers are more likely to survive previously deadly combat situations.
Joevual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Texts from Mesopotamiaโs Assyrian Dynasty (1300-609 B.C.) record traumas suffered by soldiers who were called upon to fight every third year during their military service. The symptoms were thought to have been caused by the spirits of the enemies whom the patient had killed in battle. โAncient soldiers facing the risk of injury and death must have been just as terrified of hardened and sharpened swords, showers of sling-stones or iron-hardened tips of arrows and fire arrows. The risk of death and the witnessing of the death of fellow soldiers appears to have been a major source of psychological trauma.โ
"There's a condition in combat. Most people know about it. It's when a fighting person's nervous system has been stressed to it's absolute peak and maximum. Can't take anymore input. The nervous system has either (click) snapped or is about to snap.
In the first world war, that condition was called shell shock. Simple, honest, direct language. Two syllables, shell shock. Almost sounds like the guns themselves.
That was seventy years ago. Then a whole generation went by and the second world war came along and very same combat condition was called battle fatigue. Four syllables now. Takes a little longer to say. Doesn't seem to hurt as much. Fatigue is a nicer word than shock. Shell shock! Battle fatigue.
Then we had the war in Korea, 1950. Madison avenue was riding high by that time, and the very same combat condition was called operational exhaustion. Hey, we're up to eight syllables now! And the humanity has been squeezed completely out of the phrase. It's totally sterile now. Operational exhaustion. Sounds like something that might happen to your car.
Then of course, came the war in Viet Nam, which has only been over for about sixteen or seventeen years, and thanks to the lies and deceits surrounding that war, I guess it's no surprise that the very same condition was called post-traumatic stress disorder. Still eight syllables, but we've added a hyphen! And the pain is completely buried under jargon. Post-traumatic stress disorder.
I'll bet you if we'd of still been calling it shell shock, some of those Viet Nam veterans might have gotten the attention they needed at the time. I'll betcha. I'll betcha." - George Carlin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's weird that you mention that. I actually have heard elderly veterans say very similar things. It's almost like there is a belief that the wars that occurred prior to Vietnam were more justifiable and because of that less vets came home with shellshock/PTSD. Obviously it's untrue.
My senior thesis in college was on this topic. My primary argument was that ptsd rates are only higher with Vietnam vets because it was diagnosed better in the post Vietnam era. Also the long term effects were less devastating (on a macro scale) for WWII vets because they returned from the war to a hero's welcome and a booming job market. They were heroes who protected and defended the nation from enemy threats that were unanimously considered evil. They knew that their efforts had achieved some good and could justify some of the horrors of war because they could see how the world was a better place because of what they went through. Vietnam veterans had the exact opposite experience. They came home to a nation that was directing their anger with the war at the veterans. Calling them baby killers, expecting them to be drug addicted and drunk (which becomes a "self fulfilling prophecy") and not trusting them with the few jobs that were available in the not so booming economy. They couldn't see how life was better in the United states or in Vietnam because of their efforts, because it really wasn't. Point of the story: war protests are for politicians, always support the troops.
Patton pretty much torpedoed his almost inevitable political career by slapping a guy with shell shock in the face at a military hospital during WW2. He was killed shortly after in a traffic accident and spared having his reputation completely crumble.
alumunum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend might be misinterpreting some studies on the societal differences that meant that soldiers returning from the two wars faced very different environments. And this only focuses on PTSD related to warfare, and not variety of ANY stressors. PTSD can be defined as simply as disproportionate reaction to stimuli after stress and can be as simple as a lover overreacting to any contact between their partner and a member of the opposite sex after they have been cheated on.
But since you are talking about war context, and Vietnam specifically then your friend is kinda right. First off Vietnam lasted 8 years and american involvement in WW2 only 2.
Post WW2 every serviceman was standing up to genocide it was the most honorable and selfless act to go to war. Specifically american soldiers were not drafted, everyone was a volunteer. When they returned a relatively short time later, they were sung accolades, their families were waiting for them and were there to support them. All the horrors that they experienced, they were thanked and celebrated for.
Post Vietnam, the veterans, who were either drafted or fought alongside drafted soldiers were completely rejected by society. They came back 3-7 years later without families(free love, less christian values, longer period gone than any ww2 soldier) were abused and ostracized. Having to deal with the PTSD in isolation while the majority of society would label them baby killers, meant that they had a very different response to it and the problems were exacerbated post Vietnam war specifically.
TL:DR Your friend needs to learn to explain themselves better.
Equally, I despise when someone claims to have PTSD - generally because their parents didn't buy them that PS2 15 years ago (holy fuck do I feel old now)
Anagatam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PTSD was only recently listed in the DSM. Fresh Air/NPR did a show recently about medical diagnoses that change over time. They mentioned PTSD is new. They referenced "Hysteria" for women as being a common diagnoses in the past. Maybe she heard this show?
a friend once told me that PTSD was a very recent invention. Pre-Vietnam, soldiers didn't come home changed. I was dumbfounded
....aaaaaactually that's not so rare a view, or outlandish; that is, from the perspective of somebody who was there. It's sort of asinine to instantly dislike somebody for that, and I'll tell you why.
After Vietnam the soldiers did not receive a hero's welcome, and didn't return to a country in victory. Vietnam was basically a failure and veterans were treated with contempt by many as murderers, drug addicts, etc. Since then the Boomers have a sort of "white guilt"-like response to their rejection of the vets, and believed that PTSD was actually caused by the betrayal that vets felt. The Boomers felt that they had traumatized the war weary, vulnerable veterans, and PTSD was the consequence.
Given the victorious aftermath of WWII, GI Bill, GIs getting married upon return and having families--the post-WWII PTSD cases were swept way, waaaaay under the rug and into the back of asylums, bars, and graves. It took the introspective atmosphere of the post-Vietnam era for America to look at itself, look at war and really look at veterans, to acknowledge and realize the realities of PTSD.
So it's not "wrong" to see PTSD as a recent invention per se, because it wasn't exactly in the popular culture beforehand, and afterward folklore many Boomers was that scrambled veterans was their fault and a unique situation due to their social rejection and hatred. This attitude persisted, and it was only with the more recent wars in the Middle East that PTSD was acknowledged by popular culture as a serious condition of war in general, not just clusterfuck wars like Vietnam and a rejecting populace.
That said, the dismissive attitude towards veterans in the 70s and 80s by the people and government, and financial problems at home, probably did exacerbate the problem of PTSD more than usual.
It's some fascinating stuff. As much of a consensus as there can be, it seems that the negative psychological effects of war on soldiers varied depending on the conditioning of the soldiers โ whether "professional" or not โ and the tactics of war at the time โ how much physical engagement with the enemy occurred, and in what capacity.
It can't be overstated how modern warfare has dramatically altered the scale of impact. PTSD is a modern definition, and historical analogues are incomplete.
It drives me nuts when people say we "didn't have" dietary sensitivities, certain illnesses, seemingly modern social problems, or anything of that sort "back in the day" like things were so much better then. Mother fucker, it's not new, we just didn't know how to address it. Be happy we've got so much technology that we can actually address this stuff nowadays and live longer, healthier lives.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grand father claimed he spent his entire 3.5 years overseas during WW2 just tending air force runways. He had a bunch of medals. He was either clearly effected by some horrible shit he saw or extremely modest
war has, no doubt, always been psychologically devastating to many (or most?) participants. military authorities suppressed discussion of this issue in the past because they thought it would affect recruitment.
I can't seem to find the stats right now, but though older wars were hideously brutal and violent, soldiers saw substantially fewer days of active combat compared to today's soldiers (WWII only saw something like ~40 days active combat per soldier for the whole war).
To put it to an example, imagine you're a soldier in WWII. You're going to spend a great deal of your time moving around or being stationary. When you do go to battle, somewhere like in Normandy, it's hell on earth, and chances are you're going to die. But if you do survive, the battle is won--it's over until the next one.
Compare that to today. Wars aren't nearly as brutal. The casualties are orders of magnitude lower. But soldiers, today, go out on patrols day after day, and any man, woman, or child could be an enemy. The enemy is shadowy and lurks everywhere, and soldiers are just bombarded with that day in and day out for months at a time.
So while soldiers, today, aren't storming beaches with tank shells and machine guns raining down on them from every direction, they're instead dealing with an invisible enemy that could be anywhere. While older soldiers could "turn off" when the battle was won and thank God they're still alive, soldiers today have a much lower chance of death, but the battles are endless. There is no time for them to relax and "turn off" the paranoid battle mode.
Many people suggest this is a major cause of the higher PTSD rates, today.
Rixxer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he meant the word/diagnosis? Or, he could have misinterpreted- heard that the word was new, but took it as the actual illness bring new.
Or he's an idiot. Honestly they all seem pretty plausible to me.
There always has been people coming home fucked up. But when soldiers came home back in the day, it was easier because people were on a boat for a month with people who went through the same thing as you. When the Vietnam War came along you had people who in 24 hours went from fighting in the jungle to back at home. Fuck ed them up pretty bad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, George Patton would agree with her.
Woyaboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know somebody that tried telling me that oil is just secretions from the earth and that it never runs out. How the fuck do you even argue with these people? And when I just stop talking to them they still keep running there mouth.
There was a story on NPR where they talked about professionals dropping the term "disorder" because it's really not. You go off to war and you see some traumatic, indescribably awful things it can seriously effect you. It's not abnormal or a disorder, it's human.
Phlash_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He watched a George Carlin skit about society renaming more morbid terms like dying to "passing away". He mentions this specifically.
Your friend wasn't exactly wrong, except "invention" is the wrong word. During WWII, the average active-duty soldier saw combat once every 120 days, or so. During Vietnam, the average soldier saw combat 1 out of 3 days, or something like that. It was a really drastic shift, and the result was vastly higher rates of PTSD and drug abuse.
URGH. When feminazis say they got PTSD from being "triggered" by a patriarchy post.
No. They don't get what being triggered is like. A war vet gets triggered when he (or she) hears a car backfire, or when he hears his kid make a loud noise. He's triggered when he can't see an exit or has someone approach him from behind.
A sexual assault victim is triggered when she (or he) has someone touch them without consent...a hand on a shoulder can make her feel her attacker's hands on her all over again.
As a master's student who plans to get a clinical Ph.D. and specialize in trauma disorders, I absolutely hate when people treat mental disorders like they were "made up" or don't exist. There is nothing more infuriating.
solepsis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It certainly existed, but industrialized war over the past century and a half or so have really turned the dial up to eleven.
That constant streets from the back-of-the-mind understanding that you could literally cease to exist at any moment with zero notice because someone dozens of miles away fired a shell (or later a missile) is something that was only added to war around the 1870s.
So yeah, about a hundred years before Vietnam.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was discussing the movie Patton with a friend (who went on to become a Ranger), specifically about the shell-shocked guy that Patton slapped across the face, and said completely serious, "Yeah that guy was just a pussy". Then he said his dad was a pussy because he voted for Obama. I don't really talk to that guy anymore...
-73- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got this recently too. I work for the VA, we can now see physical manifestations inside the brain of sufferers of PTSD. It's real, it's physical - no different than any other war wound only it isn't outwardly visible like a missing limb.
Holy shit my republican (of course) uncle tried to tell me it was made up because, get this, his dad came back and he was fine. Really sucks for all those soldiers faking it.
Yes they did! My dad's best friend hanged himself in our house when he was on a two-week leave from Vietnam. My mom and dad talked about how different he was after returning from Vietnam.
Not to support your friend as he is obviously mistaken but the PTSD rates were much much worse in Vietnam. In previous wars the troops were able to be cycled from the front lines more often and giving them more rest. It was very rare that a back line hospital was attacked in WWII while in Vietnam almost nowhere was safe.
For the most part in WWII the fights were slightly less barbaric as there was less conditioning on soldiers on both sides. People were less likely to shoot to kill. In Vietnam both us and the enemy were much more out for blood. By then our military had much better conditional training where soldiers would reflexively shoot to kill even if they really didn't want to. That training quite dramatically elevated rates of PTSD as well.
Wrote a paper on this. Battle fatigue wasn't really seen as an issue until psychologists around WWI-II decided to call it PTSD and learned how to diagnose and treat it IIRC.
[deleted] ยท 4402 points ยท Posted at 15:38:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I briefly dated a girl whose catchphrase was "Yeah, that's a good ideal."
It means getting a churro is a good ideal to set for yourself as it is easy to attain. Going out to get the philosophers stone is probably a bad ideal because it's probably impossible.
That comment made me fart a chuckle out me mouth... It sounded like "mmhmkhafl!". That's a feat consider how miserable I am because it's the morning and I have to go to work. If I had $10 dollars to throw around all willy-nilly, I'd give you gold.
i wasnt sure if it was a typo. people say "ideal" instead of "idea"?
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:30:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. It's a southern thing. I've lived in TN half my life, and many people say that down here. Other southern phrases include "put it up" meaning put it away, "bless his heart", they call lunch "dinner" and dinner "supper", and they refer to any potential soft drink as "coke". This isn't an inaccurate stereotype - these things really happen.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:15:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's a Tennessee thing. I've lived in Georgia and Alabama all my life and I don't think I've ever heard anyone say "ideal" instead of idea. "Idear" is a different story, but when I hear people say that they're usually joking.
Tigerbot ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:46:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also from TN, I have never heard lunch be called dinner. Dinner and supper are interchangeable, but calling lunch "dinner" is just wrong.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:29:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call my breakfast "dinner" and my dinner "Ryan." I'm from the "south." By which I mean the north. Yeah, I guess you can say I'm pretty random.
000l ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is put it up a southern thing? I lived in Suburban Northern VA for a good portion of my life with plenty of city people and heard put it up quite often.
Marylander here, I've never heard that phrase before. Could it be a moderate southern thing? Given that it's common in Northern VA I'm surprised I've never heard it here, considering the close proximity.
That's just a turn of phrase. "Put it away" is no more "accurate".
Saying "ideal" is totally different as you're using the wrong word.
Same with saying "bless his heart" and using "supper" instead of "dinner". Just cultural idiosyncracies. Nothing wrong or right about doing it either way.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:16:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one said it was wrong. Just admiring the differences.
I think it's technically an Appalachian / Ozarkian thing. My mom is from rural Missouri, and her mispronunciation of "idea" as "ideal" got me my first misspelled word on the elementary school spelling test.
That said, my dad is from Mississippi, my brother was raised in Louisiana, and I was raised in Kansas, and my mom was the only one to do this. So I don't think it's as simple as being either "Southern" or "Midwestern".
My family all had weird speech idiosyncrasies. My brother would pronounce "th" as "f", causing "death" and "deaf" to be homophones. My dad would change "or" to "ahr", saying things like "darr" for "door" and "arr-enj" for "orange". I always struggled with the common Midwestern "ih" vs. "eh"; when I was a kid, "pin" and "pen" were both pronounced "pin".
Dinner is the big meal. So if you're having a big meal on Sunday at lunch time, it's called Sunday dinner. Usually the big meal of the day is at supper time so they are interchangeable. Thanksgiving dinner is another example. Doesn't matter if it's at lunch time or in the evening, it's still dinner. Whereas supper is used exclusively for the evening meal. It's not necessarily southern as I'm from Kansas.
Edit: it confused me a little growing up.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:42:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I'm glad you clarified that. That makes more sense to me now.
paganize ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In TN now, but raised in Illinois and lived...everywhere, pretty much, since. "Put it up" I've heard everywhere but the new England states. In TN I hear "idear" much more often than "ideal", never came across anyone calling lunch dinner...there is a difference between dinner and supper that seems to be all over the place, though. either interchangeable in most cases, Where I'm at now "Dinner" is usually reserved for a weekday nighttime semi-formal meal, or "sunday dinner", which can run from noon to around 4? Supper is the last meal you eat on a normal day after work but before around 9pm.
Ideal is also a word, and you can use it correctly in a lot of situations. Seems like people just try and use it to sound smarter though. I live in the south as well. I wouldn't call it a southern thing. Know one I know ever says it except my high-school history teacher. She was a smart lady though haha
I hear it a sometimes from rednecks in Kentucky, but it certainly isn't like most people say this. It's more common than most anywhere else, but still uncommon.
I went on one date and the guy kept saying contempt instead of content. Yeah, it was one date.
farmch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this should be extended to anyone who has a catchphrase. If you really have such little personality that you need a phrase you repeat for every situation, then you need to reevaluate your life.
From Indiana? Seems like lots of people I know from Indiana say that.
It's like how some regions say "warshing machine"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dated a girl who if you asked her whats up she would always respond - Hard dicks and airplanes. She was a ho which is probably why 17 year old me hung out with her
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stealing this from now on.
Mike ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heartless. In an idea world things like this wouldn't matter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you had firmer ideals for making it only a brief experience.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah...briefly dated.
So you stuck to your principals?
Tarcanus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once went on a date with a law student who used the "word" supposably. A law student, 2L, said this. I hope her career turns out all right, but I can see her arguments holding less water if she sounds like an idiot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was she from Bristol? cos that's how we talk round heel.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Bristol, UK, and that's how people here pronounce idea. It really confused me when I first moved here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One entire side of my family says "ideal" instead of idea. I used to chalk it up to a southern accent, but quickly realized I'm also southern and have never done this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, do you really give that much weight to the fact that a person might mispronounce a word? Is it a deal breaker? Personally I would find it sweet and might (softly) correct her...
My friend told me last night how much his Intuition is going to cost this Fall... Makes me a little sad actually... He is just trying to get back into community college and called his tuition "intuition"
Sighh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sister.. all.the.fucking.time. And I sit there all: "IT'S IDEA! NOT IDEAL!" And her "Whatever, same thing." I die inside.
biga204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is a nice Rickyism. Like "It's peaches and cake" or "best case Ontario".
jinxjar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... Wait, did she literally sit down, sift through a number of values and norms written on cue cards, then pull one out and indicate: "Yes, this one -- now this is a good ideal."
ihahp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
abaddamn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of those annoying tics by the opposite gender.
Falls in category as
* totally, totes
* like, like yeah
* that's so <insert adjective here>
* yeah nah, yeah but
* what a <derogratory word here>
* ideal
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You broke up with her? You should be less idealistic. That would be a good ideal.
diatom15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seinfeld?
HarneOUT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only other time I have heard that phrase is in Age of Empires
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly, I dated her for 9 years. I corrected her countless times on that, but somehow it was "my fault."
TRPmmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I can only hear this in Owen Wilson's voice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Argh! My SO does this, and he even fucking spells it like that! He fucking KNOWS the correct word, but because "that's the way he's always said it" he just keeps doing it. Shit, at least I got him to stop saying "warsh" and "torlet" instead of toilet.
What state was she from? I knew someone from Michigan who did the same thing. I just assumed it was a dialect thing, like people who pronounce Washington "Warshington".
phaqueue ยท 2409 points ยท Posted at 17:36:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People seem to have forgotten what a prank actually is...
"Dude, why did you light all my school books on fire?"
"Calm down man, it's just a prank"
Like... pranks are supposed to be funny, but generally harmless (sometimes time-consuming or annoying to deal with, but that's one thing)... not ridiculously destructive or harmful...
DarkDubzs ยท 2341 points ยท Posted at 20:31:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You sacrificed my firstborn son"
"Calm down its a prank bro, look it up on YouTube it's gonna be called 'Devil Sacrifice Prank GONE WRONG xD'"
kjata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Nan da" is an informal way of saying "What is it?", and cannot really have particles (such as "yo" for certainty or "ne" for "isn't it?") added on. Had you meant to say "I like dicks" informally (which, given your use of "ore", you did), you could simply have said ใกใใกใใใใใ (chinchin ga suki yo, "I totes like dicks, yo").
Some notes on the reasoning for this pared-down version of your sentence:
"Da" is the informal version of copula, and can actually be dropped entirely, because Japanese doesn't require "to be" in most constructions. The primary purpose of "desu" is to add politeness.
The subject is usually left to infer from context in day-to-day Japanese speech, although if it's not obvious it can be a good idea to make it unambiguous.
Adding o- to Japanese words (or go- to words of Chinese origin in the Japanese vocabulary, although this isn't strictly relevant) is a form of politeness, showing deference to the object or its owner. "Ochinchin" technically means "honored penis", and should probably be used with "desu" and "watashi" or similarly polite subjects to avoid politeness-confusion.
"Daisuki" is more intense than "like". If you want to imply that your thoughts are sometimes consumed with cock, then go right ahead and use "daisuki", but if you didn't want to give that impression, then "suki" is fine.
George Clooney is friends with the guy who plays the hypochondriac on Scrubs (Richard Kind) and "pranked" him thus:
He found a horrible giant painting in the trash. He faked taking painting classes for 6 months.
When Richard Kind turned 40, Cloontang gave him the shitty painting as a gift, pretending he painted it and it's his crowning achievement in life (so that it is a great gift).
Kind is basically forced to put it up in his living room so as not to offend his friend, who also happens to be a much more powerful Hollywood player.
Fast forward FIVE YEARS when Clooney is like "gotcha, I found that in the garbage," and I can only assume "it's just a prank bro."
Francine Smith was right and she didn't even know how right.
[deleted] ยท 150 points ยท Posted at 22:15:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't prank-related but a friend of mine is an amateur painter. He's not horrible, but not an award winning painter either. As a surprise gift to friends of his who were getting married, he painted a big canvas of a bride and groom. It was from behind, just with the groom having his hand around the waist of the bride, looking out upon some spectacular scenery. He realised his skill limits and the propensity for creepiness if he had painted their faces, I guess.
Anyway, he brings it to their wedding all wrapped up and unveils it. The bride and groom pretty much say "Ehh, thanks, but no thanks. We don't want it.". So he brought it back to his apartment, it stayed on an easel in his living room until he moved away, dunno what he did with it.
_Walt_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:29:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just fucking rude.... Wow... I had a girl give me a sub-par painting (it really was awful) for my wedding. Now for backstory my wife and I don't hang stuff on the walls often like at all actually. That being said it hung on our wall for the better part of two years till we moved. Even if you don't hang it up prominently it's still respectful to accept.
Yeah, I thought so too. He was obviously hurt and dumbfounded by it. Although saying that, he's a successful good looking guy, so probably just wasn't used to outright rejection. However, this seemed especially harsh.
_Walt_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:52:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't honestly even know that I would call that rejection. At least not in the normal sense. In my mind if I make something for you I am giving you a piece of my time, efforts, affection, and above all a piece of me. Idk how I'd have handled it but that is rough. damn
Interesting point. I didn't realize there's a market for terrible paintings NOT painted by George Clooney and owned by someone most people don't know....
Like the 'prank' of buttering the bathroom floor while a friend is in the shower. Have fun explaining to your now ex-friend who is paralyzed from the neck down after bouncing his head off the bathroom sink how clever you thought your 'prank' was.
People are idiots.
This makes me angry now about a time my asshole co-workers covered the floor of our office in Pledge right before I came in for my shift. I slipped and fell on my ass, but fuck, that could have been bad.
I used to work overnight at home Depot. One night during lunch, they pallet wrapped my truck. Only they were fucking lazy and did it front to back, so I walk out and just looked at them and said "really...?" and they start laughing their assets off. I just walked up, ran my knife between the bed and cab, got in and drove away. The next week, somehow they all ended up with pallets of mulch next to their drivers side doors and no gas left in the forklift.
Sped21 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:30:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drawing swastikas on a friend's head when they pass out and have to work the next day - dick move. Taking off their sock and writing "Andy" on the bottom of their foot - prank
Here's a quick guide for those too dumb to know the difference between a prank and not a prank.
Filling someone's office with balloons; prank
Burning someone's office to the ground; not a prank
Taking the batteries out of the TV remote; prank
Smashing their TV with a hammer; not a prank
Lowering someone's bike seat; prank
Unhooking the quick release on their wheel; not a prank
Putting red cool aid in their shower; prank
Putting the blood from their cat in their shower; not a prank
Bromlife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not a prankfelony
FTFY
Gsusruls ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:56:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish we could define a simple set of criteria and an agreed upon punishment. Then when someone claims "prank", and it fails to pass the test, then the punishment must be applied.
Maybe the rule should be, "It should be reversible at no monetary cost to the victim."
Then the tinfoil gag would be okay, but lighting someone's clothes on fire wouldn't be.
And the punishment would be to infect the culprit with AIDS. Or whatever.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:57:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shooting minorities in the hood with a glock and calling them welfare-abusing scumbag racial slurs
Let's see what kind of reactions we get!
"DUDE IT'S A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT/PRANK CALM DOWN CHILL"
My general rule regarding pranks: if it costs you more money and time then it will cost the victim to deal with it, go ahead. Otherwise, you're being an ass.
PaulTagg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
18 boxes of 500 count forks, stuck em into a buddies lawn who was supposed to get out of work at 10pm, me and accomplice were waiting at my house down the road for him to call and be like fuck you paul! , we were going to help him clean it up. he ended up having to work till close at 2am... yea... he found it hysterical after the fact but not in the moment at 2am, and his lawn "glowed like a ghost"
lloydpro ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:00:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Pranks are not just shit you do because you "just want to" and find it funny.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:00:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What happened to coating offices with tinfoil?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:11:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or putting cups of water all over the floor?
PaulTagg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or forking a friends lawn
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same as, "I am just a moron bro."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was under the impression jokes are meant to be funny and pranks are supposed to be basically really cunty, but also funny. Which is why they develop into wars.
Saw a senior prank where they filled the entire school with cardboard cutouts. They were walking up the stairs, sitting in each seat, there were even some in both bathrooms. Now the school just has a bunch of cutouts that they put everywhere for fun. One of the best pranks i have ever seen. Got a good laugh, fun to clean up, and the school got something out of it.
They'll have pranks on shows like World's Dumbest occasionally, and sometimes the pranks are things I'd be so pissed at if they were done to me by supposed friends. It's a miracle people don't get punched after some of them.
I used to prank my teacher in highschool all the time. We had printers in our classrooms and I would randomly print off 100+pages of just white papers. It would confuse them so much, yet it was still harmless. I feel like thats a good prank.
People have forgotten that those types of pranks do not make up the majority of all pranks and most are in good humor.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching some of those "pranks in the hood" videos today and most of the time when the victim drew a gun I didn't blame him. Assault is not a prank, neither is most of the shit those asseholes try. One day one of them will actually get killed and it may be justified if it's one of those pranks were they act all aggressive and pretend they are reaching for a weapon, which seems to be a popular one just now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the good old days of post it covered cars and frozen boxers.
Ruvic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
like replacing someones carpet with astroturf and hiding easter eggs.
I felt AWFUL when a prank I helped orchestrate resulted in my friend missing a midterm. I had no idea he had a test the next day (different school) and didn't realize how hard the plastic wrap would be to get off of his car. Sorry friend!!!
Boye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, like that time I set our Web page up to show a yellow background with Easter bunnies on April 1st - if you accessed it from our office is :) Almost gave my boss a heart-attack though :)
At some point "kidding" started to mean "not telling the truth" among some people I know. Not that they just lie to me about important stuff or anything, it's just that they'll say something untrue with a completely straight face and then say it's a joke. Like... what? You mean there ISN'T actually any milk left in the fridge? Haha, oh you master of comedy you.
I called my Boss at Pizza Hut once and pretended to a customer ordering 100 pizzas for a big party later that night. I could hear her trying to restrain her excitement at hearing what a big order we were about to sell. I walked in about 5 minutes later and said, "Hey Rita, I bet you I could eat 100 pizzas right now." She looked at me, looked at the order, looked at me again and her smile vanished, "Damn it RDV! You got me good!" Then she started to laugh.
That is a good prank.
A coworker once force another coworker to keep their arm in the oven for about 20 minutes and claimed he was just pranking. The surveillance footage shows a man screaming as another man is forcing his arm into the hot oven. His arm got pretty fucked up.
That is not a prank. This is assault. He did some time for that one.
I feel like pranks can escalate to being harmful/destructive but you should definitely stay within your target's sensibilities and you should understand whatever you do deserves equal retaliation.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:13:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I was a kid there was this dickhead who knocked my pokemon cards out of my hands during recess, and they landed in a drink fountain. He said it was just a joke, and when I bawled at the teacher he told her the same thing and she let him off the hook... No amount of hair dryer/vented heater fixed them.
I still have dreams about kicking him in the nuts three or four times while screaming "HAHA GOT YOU JUST A JOKE MATE LOLOLOL"
Daan_M ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. Me. Exactly.
bbekki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to start yelling this at cops when I get pulled over to make them like me more.... Maybe I'll get a laugh, maybe I'll get brought in for public drunkenness. Maybe then I'll be detained.
Why? "Sovereign Citizens" are fucking idiots, granted, but why does exercising the rights you actually have make you a jackass?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:36:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You said it yourself. I'm all about it, but the majority of those people are just looking for trouble. That was all I was saying. If you take a camera and a gun and go out looking to make some point, you're a jackass.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:09:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because in most (90%) of those videos the poster was either breaking the law and deserved to be stopped, or they weren't doing anything and would have been fine and free to go in less than a minute if they complied with the officer's instruction.
But the real reason that they're a jackass is because they always film vertically.
"would have been fine and free to go in less than a minute if they complied with the officer's instruction."
See, but this is the problem. The constitution says I don't have to answer questions posed to me by police officers. I shouldn't have to follow a cop's instructions to be free to go. I'm not justifying being rude or hostile, but there's nothing rude or hostile about "I'm not going to answer your questions, am I free to go?"
It's almost like there's a fuckton of people in America, and some of them are in the right when they interact with police, and some are in the wrong.
wral ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:08:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope in 90% cases they are in accordance with the law and the oficer is trying to abuse his power because most of people (pussies like you) let him intimidate them and do whatever he wants. Slave mentality
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:08:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that the type of people who think that phrase is the be all end all of interacting with police don't know their rights at all. They just make up a bunch of rights that they think they should have.
I'm talking about the extreme end of the asshole scale in this case. Obviously yes, its a good idea to know the right way to talk to the cops. Just be careful with where you get your information.
Drivers in border states frequently get stopped to be asked if they are US Citizens. Courts have ruled that while these stops are allowed, nobody is compelled to answer, and that they cannot detain people who refuse to answer. Asking "am I being detained?" is a very easy way to end the interaction if you would rather not answer their question, which is well within your rights.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:04:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:36:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A decent cop would stop and answer the question instead of escalating the situation by ignoring the question.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
wral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend was detained so what's your point? If he was not then he would be free to go.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:23:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree the phrase is overused. But at the right times it is very helpful when you want to leave a situation before the cop decides he has RS.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just wanted to shamelessly plug /r/amibeingdetained. The videos that get posted on there of uppity idiots getting an unholy smackdown are better than porn.
My friends and I were in a park past their closing hours. Police came and the first the the officer said to us was "For the lawyers in the group, yes you are being detained". We laughed our asses off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That shit saved me from having to head downtown with the Knoxville police at 3 am on a Tuesday. If you know your rights use them.
My friend got me to watch a video on facebook where a guy filmed a cop and kept repeatedly asking if he was being detained. It was so annoying, I was basically begging for the cop to shoot the guy.
SOwED ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:48:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God damn, I took a long break from watching prank videos, like from freshman year of high school (2006) to stumbling upon some this year and I swear most of these guys just go harass black people then yell that it's just a prank when they pull out a weapon. No, going and pulling sagging pants up isn't a prank, it's an invasion of personal space. That's like going around grabbing asses and calling it a prank.
Rammage ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:10:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand this shit. If it takes the victim longer to clean up than it took the perpetrator(s) to set up, it's not a prank. If it causes damage to someone's property, it's not a prank.
Some kids slapped a bunch of stickers on my roommate's car. Took them about three minutes to perform their "prank," he spent two hours scraping them off. Real funny, guys.
erx98 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 05:05:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's actually a prank though, assuming it's harmless stickers like post it notes, it caused no monetary damage and just caused a mild inconvenience.
Stickers are not Post-It notes. Post-It notes take about half a second to remove in one piece and leave no residue. Stickers take several minutes each, they tear making them even more difficult to remove, and they leave residue which must be removed with a solvent.
Are you seriously telling me that if you had to spend a couple hours peeling, scraping, and scrubbing stickers off your car, you'd just laugh it off? An evening wasted, plus a trip to buy some isopropanol or Goo Gone, and a visit to the car wash, with an element of potential damage to your vehicle's finish, wouldn't bother you in the slightest if it was meant as a joke?
It can take many forms. Maybe someone embarrasses you in front off a crowd or insults you or something and when you get mad, he says, "what, you can't take a joke?" or, "calm down, I'm just messing with you. "
Last april fools day I cut the music players out of some greeting cards and rigged them up to drawers, doors, the fridge, a weighted empty coffee can, and a paper towel dispenser with a low roll in it so they would play music when opened or closed.
Thats a fucking prank.
The year before we filled the fridge with packing peanuts and laid large bubble bubble wrap under the floor matt infront of the coffee maker. This is a prank.
No one got hurt. No food was wasted. Although as I sat on the floor foil taping the soldered extended wires to the fridge seal I thought to myself "I could kill them all"
TypoHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those prank people. OMG. It's just a reason to insult people and more and more I see it being used as an excuse for Racism.
"It's just a social experiment!" when they approach a group of black folk and ask where they can get Watermelon and coolaid. Fucking jackasses. I cheer a little anytime they get the shit kicked out of them.
adamks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when used ironically
tb00n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone using the word "bro" on a regular basis.
Sen7ineL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, man. Several people lost their teeth after saying this to me...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:21 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT BRO!
18981 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:08 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or its a joke.
My "friend" let's call him, Jackson. likes to take food off my plate and say its a joke.
No. if it was a fucking joke you wouldn't have eaten my fries, You fat fucking slab of grease
huh. i have several cvs's in my town, none of them are across from any other pharmacy type dealios.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, I wouldn't have laughed at this except that, in my neighborhood, they're opening a CVS even though there will be a Walgreens a half mile away and local drugstore across the street.
So am I to assume that the cigarettes are housed in the "happy" side of the store and not the "healthy" side? Keep looking on that side for hookers and gin but can't find any.
saikron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:16 on August 19, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CVS lost my buisness because they stopped selling tobacco products because they are a health-care place. Guess what? They sell alcohol and soda as well. And also medicines that they will figure out are terrible for you in the future. And they sell the same opioids that people overdose on everyday. I say if they want to take a stand against tobacco for being unhealthy, they should take a stand against candy, alcohol, soda, and easily abused drugs as well.
Candy and alcohol and such at least have some good effects to counter how terrible they are for you, namely that they taste good and alcohol gets you drunk. Cigarettes, not so much
Cigarettes alter your mind slightly too, there is a calming quality to them. Which is why so many continue to start smoking. Alcohol in reality is horrible for you, and can destroy families. If CVS is gonna take a stand they shouldn't be hypocritical about what they stand up to
A glass of red wine a day is good for your heart. Drinking occasionally isn't gonna give you permanent liver damage. Smoking occasionally will give you a fair bit of lung damage. That, and the fact that nicotine is one of the most addictive chemicals known to man makes smoking much worse.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who's buying their red wine from CVS?
OsmeOxys ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:37:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who aren't drinking it for the heart health.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:35:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe that's besides the point...
Wawoowoo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:38:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My guess is this is just a myth propagated to explain why France has low rates of heart disease and high intake of saturated fat. It doesn't make much sense to have a slight amount of wine be good for you while none or a bit more would be so harmful. Far more likely is that people who have moderated wine intake aren't crazy straight edge people, while at the same time not crazy drunkards. If some research came out saying that people who smoked a pack of cigarettes a week lived the longest, I think people would question it much more.
Dony be a fucktard. Alcohil is the worst drug there is. It is poison to your body and socially acceptable so everyone lets it slide.
OsmeOxys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
In low amounts, alcohol can be healthy. There are studies to back that up. Abusing alcohol however, is very bad. Unfortunately, its easy to abuse. And its far (far far far) from the worst drug.
feex3 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:54:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol in reality is horrible for you, and can destroy families.
Only if misused. Cigarettes in any quantity are bad for you and those around you. Guess what? Red wine, in moderation, is actually GOOD for you.
There's your goddamned news story! The mystery of my missing self-respect!
OsmeOxys ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:04:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And also medicines that they will figure out are terrible for you in the future. And they sell the same opioids that people overdose on everyday.
Yes, that's what a pharmacy is.
And as everyone else has said, alcohol, candy, and soda can be healthy (or at least, good outweighs the bad) in moderation. Tobacco is simply unhealthy in any quantity. Its not hypocritical as you said. More importantly, cigarettes werent profitable.
when is soda ever healthy (w/the exception of severe dehydration)
OsmeOxys ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:42:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Physically its "meh". If you're not drinking a lot, it doesn't affect you physically. Same as energy drinks, if not better. I'm thinking more about the happiness portion. Everyone enjoys a bit of coke every once and a while. Its tiny, but outweighs the non-existent bad with moderation. Obviously there are better alternatives, but my point is that its not remotely comparable to smoking and isn't necessarily unhealthy.
Fuck right off. All that sugar and acidity are terrible. It is just marketed as an acceptable thing to enjoy. Bone density loss and diabetes are both bad. Losing your teeth, again bad. Being overweight, bad physically and emotionally.
OsmeOxys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're not drinking a lot
with moderation
No one gets diabetes, becomes overweight, and has their teeth rot from their head because they have a couple glasses of sugary water a month.
GetHard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lololololol. Did you get fired by cvs or something?
Luckily our store radio decided to mysteriously die after our DM came for a walk through, I don't miss the same 15 golden oldies songs they play at our store ;-;
I'm pretty annoyed when someone uses the phrase "reaching out" or "reached out" to mean "we tried to call them but they didn't pick up" or "we sent an email that didn't get replied to." "Reaching out" in my mind has an emotional weight to it, and you simply don't have that with that sort of sales nonsense.
The interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects.
I am sure there have been a few Synertechs or various similar BS, but I have not heard the word "Synergy" in a long while (thank god). Most modern companies, if they have any sort of clue about anything, know that it is a boner of a word. If I were looking to hire a company for any sort of marketing efforts, ANY use of the term synergy in the company name would automatically throw a red flag in my book. Just as well have Fred Flinstone smoking
numberIV ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:09:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
startup's
Really?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:28:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much any buzz word makes me puke. Business and management is probably the worst of all. The pointy haired type know that they aren't really qualified to do much, so they make up their own secret language trying to fool people.
Adding "strategic" doesn't make your bullshit more professional. It's not a "strategic meeting" โ it's just another damn meeting that's just as useless/important as just about every other meeting.
Ooo, this is one I strongly agree with, and probably hear the most as well. Always think, "yeahhh.... you know what you just said doesn't actually mean anything right...??"
Buzzwords are annoying, but when I was an art student, I often found them to be a necessary evil.
Summing up your current big project as "Power Rangers meets The Sopranos" is a little bit hacky, but everyone - publishers, friends, whoever - just wants a sound bite from you. If anyone wants to know more, they'll ask, but I see way too many people launch into unasked for stories about dragons and crystals and whathaveyou.
Running on about 3 hours of sleep. I read that as 'intentional' as opposed to 'international'. I immediately wondered how an unintentional hockey tourney begins.
You just happen to be walking by a frozen lake and you see a puck on the ice. I mean, after that it's just a blur of instinct and adrenaline. You might not even realize it happened until you wake up the next day missing a few teeth.
What about Montreal's semi riot after winning the first round years back? At least we waited to game 7 finals both times. But seriously we have a problem here.
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 22:17:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Montreal riots whether we win or not, we like to keep things consistent
The same thing probably would have happened in Vancouver.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:14:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Soccer riots are a fairly common occurrence around the world. It's really not that bad if Canada pulls off like 3 notable hockey riots in the last 70 years.
Which really goes to show you how much the Canucks were disliked, all the Leafs and Habs fans friends I had were cheering for the Bruins, and all I remember about talk at the time was cheering against the Canucks unless you were from Vancouver, as well as many comments recalling that Cup Final making reference to the fact that most of Canada was on team Bruins or rather Team anti-Canucks.
AtoZZZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:20:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A few years back, I was talking to a guy who was there, a die hard Canucks fan. His words were something along the lines of "it was game 7 in Vancouver. Would have been our first cup. People showed up with molotov cocktails. They were planning to riot no matter what. Out of joy, or out of anger"
I live in Vancouver and I can't confirm if that's entirely true, but people went fucking batshit insane. I don't think it would've been as bad had we won, but holy shit.
AtoZZZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your word is better than mine. For all I know, he was bullshitting. But I thought I'd just share
I believe it. Everyone knew there was going to be a riot that night.
wlee1987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck is Stanley and why are his cups so valuable?
zedgrrrl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:30:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the time, there were more Canadian and European players on the Bruins team than Americans, conversely, there were more American players on the Canucks team than Canadians. So, one might conclude that the Canadians won. I had to do the research, being a Canadian living in the States at the time.
Canadians don't like playing at home because they're treated as celebritys. In the US they're an average person.
zedgrrrl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:49:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes good sense, especially when minor league players get drafted for NHL teams; the players are local heroes but they just want to play. My two favourite teams are the Bruins and the Canadiens, but when it comes to the cup, my allegiance lies with my favourite rivals, Original Six, most Canadians, or, out of desperation, the Northern most US team with actual ice in the winter.
You can't be a Bruins and Canadiens fan!! That's illegal!....seriously though, those two are the biggest rivals in hockey.
zedgrrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:40 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My first hockey game was at the Boston Garden (Fleet Center at the time), Bruins vs Canadiens, it was fantastic, they were tied the whole game 0:0, I didn't see the winning goal because suddenly all the Bruins fans got up and left. Regardless of the outcome, my team won.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:53 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zedgrrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:13 on August 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Colour me wrong, but that's what I found at the time of my research; keep in mind, my anecdotal evidence is roughly 4 years old.
I actually do say sorry a lot but that has more to do with my Generalised Anxiety Disorder than anything else (though 30 is exaggerating, it's probably more like 20). So sorry, I just think the joke is kind of funny pleasedon'thurtme.
Hey I am Canadian too and my gf's sister says sorry at least 15-20 times a day. Not exaggerating either, I see her almost every day. There is at least some truth to us saying it a lot.
I'm from Texas. I impost nothing. I have never been to one, so I can't tell you. I do play hockey with a bunch of Canadians though and they all love the place and apologize a lot.
How is there no apostrophe though? Isn't the guy's name Tim Horton?
dglodi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or what every Canadian thinks when they pass the hoser at Timmies that just held the door open for you, when it was well beyond the distance of being polite.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except during the annual thing where they lose the Stanley Cup to the Americans.
ptd163 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
American teams. Which are full of Canadians.
Fun fact: the 2015 Stanley Cup Champions (Chicago Blackhawks) have the highest concentration of Canadians in the NHL. Even when we lose, we still win.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is only a distinction if you don't believe that Canadians are just Maple Americans (or that Americans aren't just Burger Canadians, whichever you please).
ptd163 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, but what are Maple Americans and Burger Canadians?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The same thing! Americans and Canadians are preeeettty much identical.
Don't... don't overthink it, it's a pretty dumb joke.
Has anyone ever said this without meaning to be a bitch? I know I haven't. Used it once, maybe twice, when I was actively trying to be an ass and the person had just pissed me off.
"I'm being a bitch to you in this moment cus fuck you" is more appropriate. People can have moments of bitchiness without being bitches 24/7 and being proud of it. Sometimes nice people are bitch sometimes. Middle ground exists.
There are only maybe 2 people I can see myself saying this
Valdrax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:16:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have, when someone has complained about something petty that I acknowledge bothers them (sorry) but also think isn't something worth making a big deal about / the person is complaining more as a joke than a serious problem (not sorry). Like when someone complains that you made free brownies with nuts in them.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:07:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say soz aloud, but only around people I know somewhat well and when I'm trying to be the biggest douche/asshole possible. Making myself sound like a tool in the process is part of the fun.
I'm in England and it was really common when I was in primary school (16 or so years ago) and those of us in that age range still use it, not so much younger or older people though.
Can confirm, also in England (South East), but the first time I heard it used was in Year 9 or so (London), I think, which was only 6 years ago. Earlier than that, I've seen it used a lot on the Internet, mainly in games like Runescape.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
bingus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then just don't say sorry. I think I don't like it because it's not apathetic, it's offensive. If you truly didn't give a fuck, you wouldn't bring it up.
Yea just tell me you don't give a fuck, at least it's direct. Saying "sorry not sorry" just makes you look like an even bigger asshole.
Democrab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You do care a little, or you wouldn't say anything at all.
mgraunk ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:39:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use this phrase all the time with my girlfriend. We go back and forth a lot, so this is a common follow up to a silly insult (e.g. "you're a nut muffin"). Like many of the phrases in this thread, it all depends on context.
I disagree. I feel like it could be used appropriately if you have to say sorry but don't actually feel that way. For example, if an angry customer gets angry because his coupon expired last week and he didn't notice (obviously you don't tell them this to their face but you remember it all day, come back home, make a dank meme and post to myspace).
My ex girlfriend used to say this so much. And then I dumped her ass. Maybe you should have been sorry bitch!
SOwED ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:48:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
#sryntsry
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SOwED ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:52:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say hashtag out loud to harass people, but I always do a string of them, ending with hashtag hashtag, hashtag number sign, or hashtag hash browns. Seems to work pretty well.
You should try it with your brother. He might get annoyed enough to stop.
I get annoyed by the people who disagree with your opinion by going starting off or ending with sorry. Like their opinion is actually fact and yours isn't or some shit like that.
For me this depends significantly on context. I use this myself, but in humor. For instance...wife is flirting with me...says something like: "Why are you so sexy?; you're making me wet just looking at you."....
my response "Sorry not sorry."
Seems appropriate to me. I'm not sorry I turn her on and it's funny to pretend to be but the phrase itself admits I'm not sorry...which is true...it only makes sense and is amusing to me in this situation...
I do see douchebags do this sometimes to excuse shit behavior though; which is where I can only assume your hate is coming from.
SkyPork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't know exactly what that one means. Is it "sorry / not sorry," as in, "I'm simultaneously sorry and not sorry, using complex algorithms," or is it "sorry, not sorry," as in, "I apologize that I'm unable to feel sorry." I only know a few people who have ever said it, thankfully.
I didn't realise this was a "thing". I was walking through Redfern (a suburb in Sydney with a large indigenous population) and saw someone with a shirt on that said this. I thought it was a bold political statement about the apology to the Stolen Generations.
"I saw this online and thought it was clever. I'm not sure what 'clever' actually means, but I like it. PLUS it gives me an excuse to say whatever I want to say and not worry about offending the shit out of people with my ignorant, shitty opinions! Sorry, not sorry! Mexicans should learn to talk and dress and act just like me if they want to be taken seriously. Sorry, not sorry!"
Banch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I knew I'd find one I actually say eventually...
Pytak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lanoir97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's some passive aggressive shit. Like fuck off, quit being a cheeky bastard. I understand you are satisfied with yourself for whatever horseshit reason.
I used to hate this so much. Fucking hash tag #SorryNotSorry..
The more I hated on it the more it grew on me and now I actually like the phrase :$
jay1237 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of a friend, who I don't really like but I end up hanging out with because others like her, says "sorry" to everything, no matter how small, it's insanely annoying. However what makes it worse is she has a shirt that she wears that has "Sorry not Sorry" on the front.
vhite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
THUMB5UP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw it to my girldfriend to be funny. Sorry, not sorry bro.
My boyfriend says "I still love you" when I get a bad haircut.
I'm cool with that. I laugh about it and say "Well, at least hair grows back unlike my feelings!" Then we both laugh because we like to make fun of dramas.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 19:38:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I have a joke that starts out with a potentially race-related question, but the punch line is not. And whenever I tell it, everyone starts rubbernecking. To the point where the reaction to the joke has become funnier to me than the joke itself.
Q: How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?
A: You follow the fresh prints!
I said that during the GOP debate when Ben Carson said "I don't talk about race because I'm a neurosurgeon, skin doesn't make the person, the brain does."
And I was like "I don't want to sound racist, but I wish he were right. Unfortunately, in the US, skin color has a huge effect on who you become. If experiences and brain chemistry make up the person, and skin color affects your experiences, it's going to change who you are because someone with white skin and someone with black skin are going to have different experiences. So saying that is a lot like saying 'gender doesn't make you who you are, your brain does!' No. It doesn't make you who you are, but it has a big impact on who you are. I wish it didn't, but it's not as simple as Carson is making it out to be. That's why it's an issue!"
I like to think I used that in the correct way, but feel free to call me out if you disagree.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:36:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that skin color really makes you who you are, it's just how some people form initial judgement about other people.
Unfortunately, in the US, skin color has a huge effect on who you become
I'm not sure I agree with this. I know many people of different races who have become very successful and who do not feel held back by the color of their skin. I think the biggest factor is economics. I know PLENTY of white people who came from families that just didn't have a lot of money and THAT limited their opportunities and experiences in life. Being white is not some guarantee that you are going to be more successful than someone else with a different skin color.
Sure, that's valid (and true, I have known quite a few black people who became successful, and more than enough white people whose economical background royally fucked them) but to act as if the color of your skin has zero influence on your experiences, whether those experiences lead you to becoming extremely successful or extremely unsuccessful, is false.
This isn't an example that's exactly on par, but I don't feel that being a woman holds me back at all. But I do feel that being a woman influences my experiences, and thus influences who I am.
That's the thing... A non-racial future features indifference to skin color and true value found in a individuals contribution to society. While you are not wrong, you are justifying the one facet of our society that holds us back from that bit of equality.
It takes a start to make an end.
If racism were to dissappear, we would have to abandon regional stereotype (read heritage) and provide true "equal opportunity" through several generations.
Once again, you are not wrong... but the abundace those who hold that particular opinion is why you are not wrong. It's time to drop it in exchange for a better future.
So, I understand what you're saying, however I disagree on the cause and affect that you are assigning and I disagree with the fact that this is used as a justification for racism because it's not.
By saying this, I am recognizing that skin color currently influences experiences, which shapes people. When people recognize that things need to change, and they start acting on that recognition, things start changing. Nothing will change by pretending that the problems don't exist, and pretending the problems don't exist makes those problems worse. It's like alcoholism, the first step is recognizing that there is a problem. Then steps are taken to correct that problem. If you never recognize the problem, and you let your pride get in the way of progress and you ignore the fact that you're not in control, you spiral out, your liver fails, and before you know it, your body is falling apart. This is what's happening with racism.
The people who hold this particular opinion are people who want to take those steps, to enact change, to have true equality. They're the people who are saying "The status quo is not right." It's the people who disregard that opinion that hold progress back, because if you pretend an issue doesn't exist, they think it will solve itself.
For sure. I like a good discussion, so there were no bummed feelings or anything haha. I thought it was an important topic, so I was happy for the chance to elaborate more on the "why" when my first comment was the "what."
And, I just wish Carson had given his implications a little more thought when answering the question. While watching that whole debate (to me) was like watching a sitcom, it still rubbed me the wrong way because it felt like he was writing off the black community for the sake of looking good to the far right, and it really struck me as absurd.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:35:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Racial blindness" and the whole "I don't see color!" thing is just a different form of racism. It's more subtle and insidious though; You get to call everyone from the ghetto a thug and if anyone calls you out you just say "It's not cuz of their race! I'd call anyone there a thug!" It just ignores so much about the way society works.
I believe you were in the right in that case. These days race is such a hot-button issue you have to tread very carefully, and I can see why you would want to use that disclaimer before you started talking. Although I don't see how what you said could be construed as racist in any way.
I think it could be misconstrued as racist because I'm basically saying "skin color plays a big roll in what kind of person you become," but with the amount of elaboration I gave on why that is (because, I like to be concise, and I'm a huge fan of overkill), it's a smaller chance.
Was it considerably worse there than wherever else you've lived?
HFXGeo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:56:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and no... Not everyone in SA is racist, obviously, and in my experience it was mainly the dutch Afrikaans who were.. not all of them were, and of course there were those who were not Afrikaans who were racist as well, but I had also worked with British South Africans, French South Africans, Polish South Africans, Blacks and Coloreds (yes, that IS it's own racial class there) who were far less racist...
One annoying thing I remember is I worked with a guy from Zimbabwe and these racist Afrikaans kept saying that he was not like their blacks, "Zim blacks are much smarter than SA blacks" kind of thing... well no shit, there was no Apartheid to deny them basic human rights! (not that Zim is the best place either though...)
As for considerably worse than other places I've been, the only other place which comes close is Guyana which has a major social stratification due to race, but they don't try to hide it with the "I'm not racist but..." comments...
I was under the impression (from media, I've never actually been there) that many South Africans (of all races) are quite prejudiced against people from other African countries, especially those that have large immigrant populations there.
See but those first three dont really work... why would anyone say "im not racist but" before any of those things? By default, the only reason you would ever NEED to say "im not racist but" is if you are about to say something that can be construed as racist.
It's just a non sequitur. Which is the point. Like
"I'm not racist but, my nose itches".
It's just usually the only time that "I'm not racist but" is followed by anything other than a racist comment, it's a non sequitur
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya! Like if you were in a conversation where it seemed appropriate to mention that you aren't attached to black women. It's not racist to not be attracted to black women, but it is possible to not be attracted to black women because you are racist
Nymaz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:51:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya gotta keep up with the times, though. The new code phrase for "I'm about to say something racist" is "This may not be considered PC, but..."
Hey! That's my joke! But seriously, me and my friends use "I'm not racist" and "No offense" to say things that aren't racist and aren't offensive. It's much funnier.
it's a demetri martin joke. then the other person goes "...that wasn't racist" and he goes "yeah that's why I said I'm not racist. you never listen! ...typical mexican."
If people didn't constantly misuse labels like racist/misogynistic/*.phobic then some probably would't feel they have to preemptively defend what they are about to say.
None of your examples (as written) are racist/sexism/homophobic.
Being critical of someone's actions, referencing data, or being pedantic does not reflect on a person's race/gender/sexual orientation. It seems labels are being applied willy-nilly, regardless of context.
Misogyny:
I'm not sexist, but it's obvious that women make less than men because they're more likely to take maternity leave. It's because women are only good for poping out babies and making sandwiches.
Not Misogyny:
I'm not sexist, but it's obvious that women make less than men because they're more likely to take maternity leave. Personal choices, like taking time off to have kids, has a huge effect on the wage disparity.
There's a difference between ignoring and not mentioning. I'm pretty concerned at the disproportionate crime rates for blacks, but can't even elude to the data unless I write history report before hand.
Even then someone will derail by pointing out that I am wrong because the Reconstruction period was from 1865-1877 and not 1865-1878.
People need to really start paying attention to context rather than misuse the racist label. It's impossible to have a conversation otherwise.
Without getting into history, Police disproportionately arrest black people for drug related crimes, despite statistics showing that white people are more likely (adjusted for population) to use illegal drugs. 3x as likely according to huffington post.
And getting into history, it's not just ancient history. It's every day in modern life where blacks are more likely to be hassled, detained, or assaulted by the police. And it's every day pretending as though the difference in education prospects of our grandparents and parents doesn't contribute to the discrepancies in poverty. So yes, just going off of the data is incorrect (or at least incomplete).
Going off of the data it's pretty easy to determine that transsexual people are more likely to commit suicide. But if you fail to realize that trans people are also more likely to face social rejection that will often lead towards mental issues, then you've see the data without understanding it.
"...., that being said, ....." is a sneakier version of the same shit
oi_rohe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but I am white, which is basically the same thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a roommate who used to say "I'll be real." Like, "I'll be real, who cares if people die from gun violence?" No, you're not "being real" you're being an asshole.
In the South, the phrase "I'm just sayin..." is completely standalone. No context necessary, you can be mid conversation and with no preamble - a complete nonsequitor. Go with that, and trail off into tbe night. I love it.
Someone once told me that anything you say before the word "but" is irrelevant. The older I got the more I realized how spot on it was, but I still do it.
Minorities are disproportionately targeted by law enforcement meaning that a higher percentage of minority crimes are prosecuted and more majority crimes slip by un prosecuted.
Minorities face a lack of opportunity (socially, geographically, financially) and are therefore more often in situations where crime is one of only a few options.
Could these factors cause crime statistics (while perhaps accurate) to be misleading or give a false impression?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:11:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, so I did read that, and they line up with your original facts.
However my question was not about how factual the facts were (they appear to cite credible sources), rather I asked you to address some common reasons why the facts (while real) may not paint the same picture that you would think.
So, I'd ask again:
"Could these factors cause crime statistics (while perhaps accurate) to be misleading or give a false impression?"
Your answer may be no but I'd be interested why.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's simply an idea that doesn't have anything to back it up.
Unless you can provide me with a valid source that proves your point?
My friend started off with the "I'm not trying to sound like a racist...but..." the other day and it made me seriously question wether or not he's actually a racist. Good guy though, dad can cook a hell of a bratwurst.
I like to start statements that have absolutely nothing to do with race with that though. For example: "I'm not racist, but this pizza i cooked turned out fantastic!" I like to screw with my friends and family.
I agree that this is usually followed by a racist comment of some sort. But you have to ask yourself: is there any way to say something negative about a group of people without sounding racist? Does that mean we're not allowed to ever say anything bad about any group of people for fear of sounding racist? How else should people phrase things to not sound racist? For example, if you want to say something negative about a Jewish person or Jews in general, is there any way to say it without sounding anti-semetic? I understand the difficulty here, and it's certainly true that many people try to hide their racism by saying that they're not. But I fear that the phrase it's so clichรฉ that there is no safe way to criticize certain groups of people who feel protected, and I don't think that's right. If you had a point to make which you felt was a very valid, relevant, interesting, or useful but might sound racist, how would you phrase it?
My favorite of all time is "no homo". It's used on all ends of the spectrum, from something that could not possibly be tied to homosexuality to something that is clearly homosexual.
"I think dogs are better pets than cats. No homo tho".
"Man, that guy is hot as fuck. I'd blow him in a second. No homo tho".
Me: "I don't mean to be sexist, but that's really a beautiful painting."
Other: "That's not sexist."
Me: "I know. I just fucking said that."
Sup-Dude ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:27:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this can be used appropriately in some context. I say it before giving a harsh truth to a friend and I mean it as like, "I still love you bro but you were kinda being a dick to your girlfriend that night", etc.
Or the Southern variation, "[Something offensive about someone]. Bless their heart." Saying "Bless their heart" shouldn't absolve you of being a bitch.
Aeonoris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, that's just continuing to be a bitch. "Bless your heart" is another way of saying "You're a dumbfuck".
I usually say this to people who are not involved.
Example: "That girl keeps trying to be my bff, and I don't want to be rude, but we met like 3 days ago. I wish there were a polite way to tell her that you can't just go from 0 to 100 like that."
I never promise (even though, it would be quite easy for me, as I rarely get angry). I'm always grabbing my forehead and going "Wait... I think I'm having a vision of the future where I'm going to break this promise, so you better get it over with. Better tell me now before I find out by some other means!"
Spoiler alert, it's always something stupid like "I wore your shoes, and got mud on them" and I always do the fake shocked face and gasp, and say it's fine.
If it's something serious, the conversation rarely starts that way haha.
Well, I get that a lot from my 8-yo... I'd pretend to be 1 inch away from getting mad, then I say something like "ok, I promised...". I dunno what's gonna happen when it's something serious.
I don't know either. I've had this talk with a few people, because I've feared that I don't have the ability to get mad because I haven't been angry since... I can't even remember, it's been at least since I was prepubescent. So I've talked about fearing "the big one" where I'm so emotionally constipated that I explode at everyone. So usually, people take it in stride when I get fake mad, because I do it so over-the-top that I can't possibly be serious.
But, I doubt it. I'm too easy going for the big one, I'm very much a "what's done is done" person. I think it would make me a bad parent, but great nanny. But I still never promise that I won't get mad, because maybe, just maybe, that'll be what does it.
Yeah, I'm a pretty calmed person. Just Wait til your firstborn, those little creatures can/will drive you crazy; but somehow, you couldn't imagine your life without them now.
Haha, I bet! Waking up at all hours, doing those play-screams, the constant noise... it would drive anyone crazy.
I'm too young to have kids. I'm just now starting to think of it as a "maybe possibility in the future, because I can't say for sure what I'll want in 5 years." But! I can (and can't, at the same time) imagine. My friend (My 'wife' because we're facebook married) just had her first this year, and she's already told me so much about how having him changed her entire life and she sees the world completely differently.
So, I've got one foot in the "I think I could pull it off" pool, and the other foot stepping in the "what are you talking about? You're definitely not ready for that" pool.
I know someone who does this at least twice an hour. It got to the point I stop listening after "no offense." and it's always something that is none of their business.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am guilty of doing this, but i dont use it in the manner you think i would. I always say "No offense, but you are beautiful." or its completely non-sensical "I don't mean to be racist, but you have a really nice butt and i enjoy using it as a pillow."
People misunderstand the "no offense" prestatement so much it's almost funny. They know what they're saying is going to sound offensive, but they feel the information needs to be shared. Their intent is not to offend but to inform and they want to make that clear.
I had to use a similar line a while back. This friend of mine has been through a lot of shit and I thought it would be good for her to see a counselor.
"Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think counseling would be really good for you. I'm just worried about you. You know I wouldn't be suggesting it if I thought it would harm you. I'm not saying you're crazy or broken...I just think it would be good to talk to a professional about this sort of thing."
She said she would go, then ended up being too afraid to go. I'm still trying to get her to go. I even offered to go with her. I had to go there myself. It scared me shitless just going into the building (I seriously stood outside pacing for an hour.) I was shaking in the waiting room and would have killed to have a friend there, but I was there on a very personal matter and didn't want anyone to know. I'm so glad I did it though.
These days, only 3 people know I went. It used to just be 2, but I told another friend a few days ago (it's been about 5 months since I went.)
BNLboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had an old manager that started almost every sentence with either
"I'm not trying to be a bitch but..."
"I'm not trying to sound mean but..."
"Don't be offended or anything but..."
One day I just lost it and said "If you have to apologize for something before you say it, maybe don't fucking say it" and walked away.
Never heard her say it again because I quit that retail hellhole.
G8kpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense, but black people are all criminals and chinese can't drive and mexican's are taking all the jobs and indians smell, and irish are drunks and jews are cheap, and italians are all mobsters, and canadians are always sorry all the time."
redzrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or when someone (namely a SO) says something really bullshit mean and below the belt, then follows it up with a 'I was only Joking', when you lose your shit.
nosackH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This wins. When will people learn that the listener automatically negates everything before the "but?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. "I'm not trying to be an asshole, but..." If you say that you are about to say something that will brand you as an asshole. Maybe you should just let that statement go unsaid altogether.
If you hated to say it you wouldn't say it. You love saying it.
illyume ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I probably shouldn't say this, but _____"
Knew someone who prefaced things with that all the time, and 90% of the time when he did, what followed usually resulted in me wanting to shout "Yeah, you probably should have kept that to yourself."
No offense, but you're a fat, useless, piece of shit that no one can ever love.
Dude, calm down I said no offencse.
andrewpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy who did some repairs in my house who several times a day would start a sentence with "I'm not being nasty" before coming out with something definitely insulting.
Okay, I'm going to say. I've heard this used two different ways.
Person #1: Doesn't know how to correctly articulate constructive criticism (even if wrongly placed).
Person #2: Is actually trying to hurt you and bring down your self esteem, but wants to do it in a manipulative manner, so they can do it over and over again.
No offense is meant to be used when you have a differing opinion and you want to disagree politely. "No offense, but I hate your guts" is not how it works.
majnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? Sometimes you just want to get a message across and don't want to offend someone. There are people that get offended easily, and if you have no intentions to offend those people, only to politely point out something (potentially offensive) you just say that.
Usually it's the people that get offended easily are the ones I would dislike.
Spambop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when people think that "free speech" is the right to be an arsehole. Someone told sanctimoniously (on Reddit, of course), "I can offend whoever I want!"
Mmkay.
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"no offence but FUCK YOU!" best response ever to that statement. :)
Came here to say this. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH BY SAYING THIS?
โWhen dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.โ
-
The only thing they will accomplish is making that person resent them, because pride.
โcriticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurt his sense of importace and arouse resentment.โ
Is it enjoyable to bring people down? They could easily rephrase it as a positive, and attach it to a compliment.
Example. Someone reeks of B.O. "no offense, but you smell like shit" "Have you tried the new Old Spice Citron deodorant? You look fantastic today and the scent would pair perfectly with that shirt!"
It's a subtle hint (positively phrased) at the fact that they smell like shit, and grants them the chance to save their dignity and pride and come to the realization on their own without being put down by somebody else. Dale Carnegie: Part 4, Principle 2 ("Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly"), and Principle 5 ("Let the other person save face")
You compliment them alongside the subtle hint, which lifts them up. It'll give them a feeling of self worth, and will also improve your image in their eyes. Everybody loves being complimented, and it's hard to resent someone who just complimented you. Keep it genuine though.. Part 4, Principle 9 ("Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest") The person is going to be much happier putting on deodorant now that they've been complimented.
Whenever someone starts out a sentence that way, you know they're going to say something crazy offensive.
Jigsus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use it "No offense but why?"
You'd be surprised of how many people are offended when you ask "why?"
Eilstina ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:49:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I pretty much assume that if someone says no offense, that they are going to say something offensive. So I usually just stop them before they have a chance to
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:30:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or another favorite, which is along those same lines:
"Not to be mean, but...."
You're being fucking mean. Stop trying to sugar coat it.
dcikid12 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:46:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time you hear that, you are about to hear the most racist thing you have ever heard...
I've stopped saying this and started saying "I'm sorry but,". Shows that I acknowledge its offensive or whatever and I'm sorry about it but it needs to be said.
aeroeax ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:24:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's kind of like "don't take this the wrong way... or don't take this personally".
[deleted] ยท 5388 points ยท Posted at 15:18:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On Tinder/dating sites: "Work hard, play hard."
It's unoriginal and grossly overused.
venounan ยท 443 points ยท Posted at 17:14:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These are the same motherfuckers with those generic metal stars all over the inside and outside of their split-level ramblers and those stupid stick figure families on the back of their minivans. Wife watches Dancing with the Stars and husband drinks Bud Light in the garage and gets shitfaced to Toby Keith. They have 2 kids and a dog and have a professional photo taken every year for their Christmas card and everyone is wearing matching fucking khakis. Mommy's Facebook page makes it sound like everything is perfect, but deep down they hate their lives. They did everything they were supposed to do but wish they'd done what they wanted to instead.
It's worse. She "designed" the tat idea herself and incorporated it into an infinity symbol, and wants it done with "white ink" because you can "barely see it".
venounan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HA! My wife went to a painting class and they had everybody paint a wine bottle along with this slogan. She didn't like it, but isn't the type to paint what she wants instead.
[deleted] ยท 1297 points ยท Posted at 15:40:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
So now you have a drinking problem and the money to make it worse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a joke my old college roommate used to say.
D-DC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
liquor isnt expensive
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:52:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No, a functioning alcoholic is actually the opposite of a raging alcoholic. Whereas the RA will steal, fuck, and degrade themselves for alcohol, the FA will almost always stick with actually working to pay for their shit and while they might blow through their savings, they still haven't entirely compromised their future with their addiction.
kpyle ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:11:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yep. I'm a functioning alcoholic. I set rules for myself as to when I can drink and how much. Only after 10 pm and I never after 1am. I can get pretty drunk in 3 hours, so I also try to limit myself to 6 drinks on days I work and 12 on days I don't. I also abstain 1 day a week. Its not healthy, but I like getting my buzz on and playing vidya. Also, never drink and drive.
kelseymo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:11:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like me. Except I'm not very good at following my rules. Once Drunk Kelsey shows up, she has got a mind of her owwwwwn. I hear practice makes perfect, though. I hope that's true.
JLT303 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:28:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well shit. I wish all alcoholics were as functioning as you.
OpenSign ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a sober alcoholic. I don't drink and think about drinking a lot...
deelar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh bless your heart.
If you want to call yourself an alcoholic, I'll give you one thing. This isn't really being an alcoholic yet, but this is definitely how it starts. So you're on the right track!
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you arent an alcholic... i wouldnt even call you a drinker ffs. Stop at 1am? Haha.
kpyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the rule for days I have to work at 9am even then sometimes it turns into 2 and other days I'll just fall asleep at 11 after one beer. Otherwise its like 12 beers until 4 or 5 and I regret it the next day usually.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:18:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It will get them eventually. Eventually a functioning alcoholic will stop functioning.
I used to bang out a lot due to my debilitating hangovers. Needless to say, I had/have a problem. Then I went traveling for a year and practically drank everyday. Luckily no responsibility, no problem. Now that I'm back, I've been keeping it in check surprisingly
ndnbolla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mike never mentioned anything about raging alcoholics. His point was a functioning alcoholic is still an alcoholic and I agree. A raging alcoholic is an alcoholic as well. Both cut from the same cloth. It is irrelevant what possibly may happen in the future. You are addicted to something presently. Being presently addicted to alcohol, you are presently an alcoholic.
What I believe is that being aware that your an alcoholic and still drinking every day is a depressing thought and being ignorant while pretending that your a functional (in control with self-made rules) alcoholic allows you to justifying your repetitive drinking so you can save the guilt/shame/depression/some mental issue for another day.
I've always said that a functioning alcoholic is one who's alcoholism doesn't inconvenience others. You're a fucking champ, until it effects them, and then all of the sudden you have a problem.
Almost all of them do eventually if they do not stop, the rest of them die before they do or get hospitalized and have to stop working if they don't stop. Alcoholism is a progressive problem that ends for most in death, disability, or treatment and recovery. Many don't realize just how incredibly dangerous chronic alcoholism really is.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:08:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not true. There is a difference.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:06:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, theyre poor enough to not have it enough. Look for celebs, half of them have been in rehab because they can at any time just be wasted for a year straight and still have millions left over.
I was probably borderline alcoholic, but then I quit my job and had no money. After about a year sober, I find I can drink recreationally again now, without going overboard.
D-DC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
buying enough alcohol to kill you 10 times cost about 20$ (bottle of everclear)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Functioning alcoholics are just alcoholics who can sober up for long enough each day to hold down a job.
K-chub ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:16:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the time... I know a few people like that. Two of them are very lucky they have been in a unionized job for years because they take a long time to get to work, leave work early, and probably sleep off their hangover a bit at work and take their sweet time doing their job.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:53:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite thing to see is when people use the quote "Don't water yourself down because people can't handle you at 100 proof" on Facebook or Instagram or whatever.
My first thought was someone with career ambition who spends the week fighting their way up the corporate ladder or keeping a small business afloat and then in their free time plays sports, camps with minimal gear, sky dives, rock climbs, lifts weights, and does metalwork.
Alcoholic seems way more likely now that you mention it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college there was a girl who worked at pretty much every store on campus. One time I asked her about it and she said she works close to 40 hours a week (on top of school) and spends most of the money at the bars on the weekend.
It was like time held no value. Blew my mind.
Vitefish ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:54:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well "work hard, only play in moderation" just sounds depressing.
strib666 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
However, it is one of the keys to improving you financial situation.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:39:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mr_fuoco ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:54:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a stupid thing to say too, but I had a brief moment of understanding when I realized I get up earlier on the weekend to go climbing and hiking than I do during the week to go to work. So as lame as it is, it felt like it made sense briefly.
It means they do generic things with more enthusiasm than someone else doing generic things. They're the perfect generic human pig-baby, ready and able to pig-baby with all of the other happenin' pig-babies.
For some people, it can mean that they occupy their time very well.
During school and college, I was that "wow he dicks around all the time and gets good grades!" guy but really, I was waking up at 6 and studying 2 hours before going to my first class, then I studied 1-2 hours after coming home every day. It's just that for the rest of the day, because I studied already, I was free to do whatever I wanted and could therefore afford to play Counter Strike for like 4 hours with my friends, who flunked because they failed at doing the other part.
Jynx12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the school I'm going to, it means we push ourselves academically but also party hard on the weekend. We like to think we responsibly party irresponsibly
Tinderboxes are highly overworked things, so they like to go clubbing a lot when they have down time, you know, so they can meet other tinderboxes and have little matchbox babies together.
It's supposed to mean "I have a healthy balance of work and recreation," but what it really means is "I'm blackout drunk within an hour after my shift/classes end at least 4 days out of the week, but I manage to hold down a job/not fail my classes."
If used by a younger person, they are most likely quoting a Wiz Khalifa song and it means that they are probably jobless but a C student in college who drinks a lot
It means they think they have a tough job, so they get to reward themselves with partying. When in truth, their job is only tough because they have fucked up priorities, and just want to party and get wasted.
It means they hate their corporate jobs but feel compelled to keep working unpaid overtime to hopefully impress their boss, who in actuality doesn't give a shit, and then after work they hit the gym for chest and biceps 4 days a week, and then binge drink on nights and weekends so they don't have to think about the rest of the day.
I used the phrase to describe myself sometimes actually. It's not really that complicated. From my perspective; it means I have a full time job and work really hard in both my personal and professional life so that I have the money and freedom to enjoy my free time to it's fullest. Which usually means I use recreational drugs, have lots of kinky sex, and I look like a party animal to anyone that didn't know I worked really hard to be able to do that and maintain my other responsibilities which I have no shortage of.
I suspect it's "overly used" because a lot of people work hard to accomplish a similar outcome.
They are bragging about being successful (work hard), and can afford to have awesome times (play hard) and if you let them they can show you a whole new worlddddddddd
I say it to myself when I want to go do something expensive, but that's because I work 50ish at my weekly and another 20 on top consulting so when I get a chance to play I do it big I guess.
nate800 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:39:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah it makes sense then. I have people in my life saying it while they work 20 hours per week at footlocker, live at home, and then blow their entire paycheck at the bar.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:37:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it makes me think of the stereotypical business major douchebro with slicked back hair, a tan, possibly pursed lips, who acts like he's smooth when he isn't, and who probably looks at himself in the mirror when people aren't looking making kissey faces.
l2np ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it's not a bad idea though. I was one of the "lol, I never study, play all the time and get good grades!" kids in school and college and it was bullshit, I literally studied 1 hour im private for every hour I played and dicked around in public. It works.
All the guys i work with do this. It makes me cringe, every 5 minutes someone's like, "Oh fuck yeah bud i work hard but play harder buddy!" I try not to laugh because theyre on like a 2 hour smoke break and shoild have finished their work hours ago. /rant
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. I know it's cliche, but during grad school this was the motto. You're right though, it was binge drinking and partying between cramming, teaching, and writing. I miss grad school.
That's why I "work hard, and relax hard." I'm good at my job, work my ass off, and come home to GF and child. I drink heavily, but that's a personal choice. Ain't nobody got time for play!
bcgrm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:02:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, those two things aren't always tied together. Some of us are high functioning.
fizz514 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:35:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! Just because I drink excessively doesn't mean I dodge responsibilities or don't carry my weight. It just means I have a void in my life because I'm too scared of getting hurt to ever open up to somebody, and rather than letting my mind analyze my unhappiness to death I'd rather drink too much and hang out with friends either in person or online.
I can confirm this is true of the Silicon Valley at least.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe so, although there's a lot of alcohol here. Most of our people are really proud of the word they do, and we have a lot of bbqs and parties during work hours where beer is served. Still, such a corny-ass phrase that I hate. Apparently our holiday parties are actual ragers.
jyetie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That actually sounds like a cool company to work for, if you get past the clichรฉ phrasing.
What do you do, if I may ask? Not like specifically if you don't want to say, just the general field?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talent Acquisition for a drug company. I love my job so much
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude what
CJ090 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You want people to think your company is a pyramid scheme? Cause that's how you get people to think your company is a pyramid scheme.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not luckily, I don't want to give the details because it's a well-known business at this point but we don't sell anything and based on the company's reputation and the reasons people apply here there's no way anyone could see this place as a pyramid scheme. Strictly scientific research but even though the phrase sucks balls it's definitely the truth. So many parties
kyleguck ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:05:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Grindr has the problem of every other person referring to themselves as "Young professional." Not even an "I am a young professional." Just the two words and it is infuriating cause they usually just mean they're a manager at Subway that works out a lot.
CJ090 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU. I'm not the only one. When ever I see "professional" on a dating site it's 99% of the time said by someone who looks straight out of a trailer park. Putting on a pants suit and working reception at a DMV doesn't make you a professional.
dunaja ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:16:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tinder's is actually "Work hard, play hard, get hard."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:06:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing inherently wrong with the phrase, it's who's using it. Getting plastered on overpriced drinks in a shitty nightclub isn't 'playing hard'. Playing hard is something like wingsuit base jumping on acid. Up the ante, bitch motherfucker.
When okcupid still had the "most private thing I'm willing to admit" question, I knew the girl is a total tightass if her answer was some variation of "nothing".
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On girls' pages or guys'? I rarely see this with girls in my area. You know what I do see?
"I just wanna adventure"
"Netflix addict"
"Tinder is stupid"
"Why am I here?"
"I don't message first and you have to make me laugh"
dglane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OMG, there are so many such phrases on dating sites. One of the most tiresome to me: "I am living my life to the fullest." Apparently there are a helluva lot of people living life to the fullest but I'd love to see their actual day to day life. I bet it's pretty damn boring and routine. Of course, I suppose that could be "the fullest" for them.
Whether I'm at work or with friends, I always maintain an erection.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Things women say on their dating site profiles that really bug me:
"I [don't know how to/dislike] [talk/talking] about myself." I'm not asking you to brag, but the fuck do you like so when I message you I can cater to those things.
"I'm funny/random." No, you're not. holds up spork
"I love to laugh." Have you met people who don't?
It is mind-boggling how many women's profiles contain at least 2 out of these 3 lines, or some variation of them.
I work hard and by the time I'm done I just want to go home and nap, I'm 26, I ain't got the energy to both work hard, and play hard. I have to pick and choose.
Don't know if it's a Utah thing but, every girl "looking for an adventure" or however they phrase that. Like, should I bring my cold steel Bastard sword?
adub887 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tinder bingo:
"live, laugh, love",
Picture with a baby tiger,
Climbed the top of a hill.
yoga pose ,
beach pic,
puppy pic,
Pic with 5 other girls that look the same,
Sky diving pic.
Every time I hear this phrase I'm immediately reminded of the Gay Steel Mill episode from The Simpsons where Homer and Bart are at a steel mill, and the construction workers suddenly start dancing as lights dim down, lasers start emitting, and "Everybody Dance Now" starts playing.
What's sad is I want to take the quote seriously because going into freshman year of university is gonna be hard. All I know what to do is play hard, never have I ever worked for something before :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of the younger guys at work once said he doesn't read for leisure and tries to avoid reading when possible and it was like he admitted he likes shoving firecrackers up frogs arses or something.
Everyone stopped working on the spot and just like looked at him and all started questioning him in amazement. We could not resolve the discussion at all. We could not reconcile our differences. We had to just stop talking about it after awhile. But he gets razzed about it now ever since.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:45:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't think you realise how far some people take the "I don't read" mentality. I've had people tell me that Reddit is a crap website because it's all text and express bafflement at how I could enjoy doing what I do right now - reading.
I can get not wanting to read for leisure. But avoiding reading in general? Considering that the vast majority of information is conveyed through reading, that belays ignorance.
I'm referring to leisure for the most part. Any time a thread like this comes up, the "if you don't read you're ignorant and uneducated" circlejerk comes up and it makes me cringe. Not once in my life have I read a book for fun because it simply isn't fun to me.
Idk what happened to my motivation to read. When I was younger I read like a book a week (more if it was vacation time) but now it takes me like a month to get through a book
That happened to me for a while, then I realized I hadn't really updated what I was reading from when I was younger.
For example, I used to really like YA novels, quick easy reads that I'd swallow up in a day. Lately I've been finding myself bored and not finishing books, until I realized I just needed to up the difficulty level/ subject matter.
I do, I like to read stuff from Vince Flynn, and the guy that writes the Jack Reacher novels (those are my favorite!) But I think it's mostly due to college :/ by the time I have free time I'm exhausted, so if I read, I fall asleep, so usually I opt for video games :/ but also as far as easy reading when I was a kid...I was reading Harry Potter and Ender's Game, I was never one for an easy read lol
Maybe try novellas or short stories? I go in and out of the same issue with fiction. I have an issue with depression but a compulsion to understand things, so I can devour non-fiction, but my attention and motivation for fiction were shot.
I started with a volume of short sci-fi stories from the 40's-50's and now enjoy reading smaller but significant books that pack a punch, but with brevity. An example is Catcher in the Rye.
Maybe try Amalie Nothomb. Once you get going, its easier yo keep with the momentum.
Nah that's what I mean, Harry Potter and Ender's Game are pretty easy reads, esp HP. Long books, but clearly written and easy to understand with easy to grasp subject matters.
I was gonna suggest books that are either more difficult to read (like Infinite Jest or House of Leaves) or with harder subject matters (a lot of non-European/American books).
Lack of free time and exhaustion is something else entirely though, I feel for you :(
4th year computer scientist haha ๐ข๐ข๐ข my next semester is 20 units, but I'm trying my best to rekindle the fire. I was in the middle of a Vince Flynn book on my phone which was really good, but my phone got stolen, and I haven't had a chance to re-download the books. But I'm all for your suggestions! I'll look into them :)
D-DC ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 09:36:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why? where humans built to read lines of ink? Is that what we should all just spend our time doing? Fuck reading, there are many other ways of acquiring knowledge and information, most of which are more fun than reading.
We climbed out of the cradle of humanity by learning how to read. The birth of the written word was arguably an industrial revolution in itself. Through recording our knowledge, our ideas and feelings and our identity and history we became immortal.
So yes. Modern man was born to read and record lines of ink.
D-DC ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:21:58 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like I said. There where many and ARE many other forms of communication that work as well as writing, in parallel forms.
Sorry, I don't read so I didn't get your reference.
ZombyTed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's fine, it's your turn to walk -682 anyway.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:45:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Class-D.
The Federation.
jpastore ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:37:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked someone: what's the biggest problem in the world? He was taken aback. He said he never really thought about it. He said: it would have to be greed and stupidity, and really they're 2 sides of the same coin. I was blow away at the simplicity of the statement and its accuracy.
Not really. There are a lot of greedy smart people out there. Like sociopaths.
jpastore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like psychopaths
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, income disparity due to the greed of the 1% is easily the other "very wrong" thing with the world right now. Income disparity (greed) and the poor who blame the poor for it (stupidity).
jpastore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I took it as the greed was ultimately stupid because of how self destructive it tends to be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt the CEO's who have swimming pools full of money would call greed self-destructive. Sure, they sell their souls, but they're doing it in comfort.
jpastore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:46:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Show me where I said it is.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:13:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes because everyone who doesn't read is an ignorant fool. No I do not read, it doesn't make me stupid. I just spend my time differently, I'm far from stupid and not reading hasn't caused any lack of knowledge in me. But I never proudly announce I don't read, there's just no point at all.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not reading hasn't caused any lack of knowledge in me
You thinking there's no knowledge to be gained from reading books ("not reading hasn't caused any lack of knowledge in me", like, really?) is just as absurd as you reading my comment and thinking it somehow translates to "Everyone who doesn't read is an ignorant fool".
I read, but I'd sure as hell be more knowledgeable if I read more.
I read, but I'd sure as hell be more knowledgeable if I read more.
Surely it depends what you would read and what you would do if you were not reading. I can see many situations where reading would make you less knowledgeable compared to something else.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:46:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read the odd science article here and there but nothing that actually fits into my schedule. And I don't read in my spare time. That's what I think would count as "not reading" anyway. It's not like I see any sentence online or elsewhere and say "nope, not reading it I want my knowledge handed to me in video and/or picture form please!".
Fucking when a 1 paragraph thing is stolen from Reddit and put on 9gag and all of the comments are gifs, pictures and comments saying "lel kek didn't le read" and they have 2000 uplikes or whatever 9gag points are called.
Stylux ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:44:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Illucam ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 01:17:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love the idea of reading, and I fully understand the benefits it would bring to my vocabulary and so on, but it's just never something I've been into.
I read non-fiction to educate myself, and the news (hah), but why is it so awful if someone isn't much of a reader?
I enjoy playing games, watching movies and I make a living with my art - reading for pleasure doesn't fit into my routine. Why look down on non-readers with such a negative view? It's a hobby or practice like any other.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:04:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining a scenario where someone says "have you read x book" and the response is a sort of "psh, I don't read," as if reading is pointless or only for nerdy types.
kahbn ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 01:29:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's the difference between not being into reading and reveling in your avoidance of the greatest invention known to man.
I build "robots" almost daily and I'm well aware of how batteries are wonderful wonderful things, but holy fuck, how dare you compare the only chance at effective immortality any of us have with a boring-ass stored potential. Considering as how the industrial revolution fucked our planet, and writing gave us everything from Shakespeare, to calculus, to eventually those lovely batteries, I think writing takes the cake.
Writing is very special because it allows knowledge to be passed down from generation to generation in a very precise form.
As far as greatest invention, I'm not really sure, though.
What about cooking for example? It is what allowed us to live and expend so much energy.
What about speech? It has allowed us an intricate level of communication. Many things we learn and feel are because of speech - it's ingrained into our minds.
What about markets? The power of markets is insane, it's what has propelled much human progress, and somehow creates prosperity by simply trading. I mean think about how someone in the modern day can earn a living doing something completely unrelated to sustenance. Markets have allowed humans to move on from farming all day.
Or what about empiricism, or mathematics, or storytelling?
There are so many great inventions of mankind, that picking one to be the greatest is kind of foolish.
Man, the arrogance is almost palpable. This is why people act like not reading is a great thing: because they don't want to be associated with people like you.
kahbn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:16:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the ability to put thoughts into a physical medium, so as to pass them on unaltered.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:40:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ruvic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood that. It's not that im inherently good at algebra or such. Its just that the ideas kinda fit. the equations spell out like sentences. Makes me a bit of a dick when helping my brother with homework.
ssskuda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:31:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same thing, graduated in 2004, didn't use algebra for 6 years or so, still makes no sense to this day.
D-DC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:47:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing about maths is that there are 3 groups: Those who can't do it, those who can do but can't understand it and those who can understand it.
I fall in the middle category and I will tell people I suck at maths despite just this year getting an A at the years highest level in highschool. I envy those who could be asked a question and get it right with little thought.
ben7005 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:28:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate people like you. Also, while getting A's is not always indicative of math skill (in high school at least), you should feel good about your success. Math classes can be frickin hard, and you have the academic prowess to excel in them. Congrats :)
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:43:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And there's the 4th group. The ones with degrees in it that realize they don't and can never understand it all and constantly bang their head against the wall trying to understand some other esoteric part of it. This includes every PhD and Fields Medal winner.
This, it's literally the one thing I can think of that'll make me pretty well instantly quit talking to a person. I don't even care if they're shitty romance novels, just something.
yurieu ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:16:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does reddit count?
The worst part is im being serious. I just do not enjoy reading, I always feel like I could be doing something else. I just lose attention.
I dont say it with pride, but I never imagined Id get judged for not being into books.
Opset ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:48:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started reading as a pre-bed thing in high school. Now, I always read for 30 minutes to an hour before I go to bed. Helps me fall asleep a lot easier. I just lay down, open a book and rest it on the bed beside me or load one up on my tablet.
If someone judges you for not enjoying reading, that is not a person you want to be friends with anyway.
ben7005 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The difference is bragging about not liking to read. People are free to read as few books as they like, but looking down on reading is stupid, and I will judge people for that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i look down on people who brag about reading books, and i believe compulsive reading is rather sick.
vonsmor ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:41:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you. I can read reddit in my bed for 3 hours a night and wonder where the time went, but havn't touched a book in ten years.
There is this deep hatred for reading books I don't understand, but can only guess it was drilled into my head during school which I hated too.
I have tried to explain why I like the idea of reading books, but just can't ever bring myself to get through more than a chapter with no luck. it's like the second I start reading a book I just feel awful, nauseous almost, can't get through a single page without mind mind running off in other directions to escape. Then 3-4 pages in I realize I'm not even retaining anything or paying attention. It is just this endless, dragged out process to get to the point with books it seems like. Meanwhile I can read long as chains of Wikipedia articles just clicking mid topic to whatever has a blue link in it forever it seems like, but books.... Ugh...
TLDR: totally agree, not proud, but wow I hate reading books
I don't know about other people here, but if you simply aren't into books then I can respect that. There are things I am simply not into that people can't seem to wrap their minds around. As long as you aren't proudly proclaiming that you don't read (See also: the people who act like it's stupid to read) then I don't see a problem :)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:43:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People still don't take the internet seriously as a source of knowledge. Reddit is more of a social thing, but while I rarely read novels I will read about a new topic online for hours.
While I do like those, I personally can't read story after story for a long period of time. For those who do, that's great! - most people still see it as amateurish though (which it is by definition), which hurts its image to the "serious" readers.
My girlfriend informed me that she hadn't read a single book after college because it wasn't required. A new rule to date me was enacted. In order to attend the movies with me she had to have first read the book of whichever film we were to watch. I now can't stop her from reading everything, just in case it becomes a movie in the future. Maybe that's why we're getting married in a few months ;)
I'd definitely be rom com. Not that I'm a fan of them or anything but I'd still show up to the premier.
gerusz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can imagine it being on Lifetime: bastard boyfriend literally imprisons woman in a home library, only allowing her to visit the book club or to go to movies which are adaptations of books she has already read. In the book club she meets a nice guy, then she escapes using the lockpicking skills she picked up from a book and runs away with him. THE END
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Enjoy my hobby or I won't let you enjoy yours!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
He's one of my idols! Sad when he passed in Roseville, CA (I'm from Sacramento). I was already in Florida :( Stand and Deliver was one of my fave films.
-I'm hoping my penis was very influential in her case. Thanks for the compliment?
So I don't really read much at all. Is this in any way different from preaching about not being a reader? I don't have anything against picking up a book, but its not a hobby of mine.
See, to me that's the difference. "I don't really read much, books don't do it for me for the most part" is a bit different than "reading is dumb". I respect the first part, hell we all have hobbies. The second, less.
My fiancee loves fifty shades and twilight. You know what? Fuck it, we can curl up and read a book together. I'm sure she'd think house of leaves is fucked up and stupid too, it just makes the discussion about what we're both reading even more funny. "He just played midnight baseball with a bunch of vampires." "Oh, shit. That's interesting. Well this dude's house is a quarter of an inch bigger on the inside than it is on the outside, and a closet just appeared out of nowhere like the tardis." "Wut?"
Does it depend if the person says "I don't like reading fiction, but appreciate the work" instead of "fuck you, books are shit, lol"?
As someone who is as much into movies as you seem to be into movies it's a difference if people say "movies are just dumb, read books, they are always better" or "I like reading more than movies".
I guess it boils down to discounting an art form entirely just to act cool. I don't even really watch tv, but people who say "I've never watched TV" just come off douchey. Like, not once have you been in a waiting room? Why is this a thing to be proud of? But yeah, books do it to me more because I love to read. Definite bias there.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find literature boring most of the time though. Also I don't just magically become a better/more interesting person just because I read books.
True, but being proud of not reading is a guarantee that you're not a more interesting person. Most of the proud not-readers I've ever met are the sort to rock a Taz tattoo and talk about their truck all the time. Nickelback fans. It's one of those automatic triggers that lets me know a person probably won't have much to say that I'll be into. If you don't read? That's whatever, but it does put me on alert. Proud of that fact? Guaranteed we'll probably bore each other rather quickly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:57 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think there's many people that are actually proud that they don't read, you're probably just misreading (heh) people who are finding humor in what most of society would consider a shortcoming for them, just like you do.
Also I'd love for you to start a study that tries to link lack of reading with nickle back fans, large trucks, and taz tattoos.
ai1267 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. Literally.
UltraRat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate when people say this upfront when I'm watching a usability test. Those are the participants that are self-aware that no one really reads instructions on a website or playing a game.
When people aren't aware of the fact that no one reads anything you end up with products where the only explanation is in walls of text.
โIf you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!โ โ John Waters
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:03:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I have come across these people, it's really not a surprise when they say this because they have already shown they are knuckle-draggers in the first place.
Man I was cringing at everything down this page but THIS is the statement that does it for me. That is something you should be ashamed of, actually, not broadcasting it loud and proud.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I need to be ashamed of not reading even though I just genuinely don't enjoy books. I don't know what you do for fun but I don't like it therefore you should be ashamed!
Dang, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for it to come off that way... my sincerest apologies. I definitely understand reading isn't for everyone, as I just picked the hobby up within the past couple years; my comment was a response to the original comment about when people say they don't read like it's an achievement or something. I've had many people scoff and snobbily say "umm no I don't read" to me like I'm some sort of loser stuck in the 20th century when I ask them if they've heard of or read a certain book I was thinking of picking up. I should definitely work out more but I hate it so I don't, but when people ask me about running or something I don't laugh at them and tell them I've got better things to do with my time. Working out is good for you and arguably so is reading, so you shouldn't feel pride in declaring to people that you don't do it while basically putting them down for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha no worries :) I thought you meant that I should be ashamed of not reading.
Okay so my fiance and I were in line for one of the rides in the Wizarding World section of Universal Studios. There's a family behind us, big meathead dude looking extra greasy (even for Florida weather), a tired looking woman who looked like she'd be pretty if she managed to get some sleep, and their two kids.
Now to be clear, I can't stand children. But these two weren't terrible little shits, and we're in line so best to be polite, right? My fiance was talking about Harry Potter with them while we waited.
At some point in the conversation the meathead Dad says "I just watched the movies, I don't like reading" in that super proud to be ignorant tone.
My fiance and I look at each other with this "Did that really just get said"? The kids parroted back "Yeah the movies were better!" and the mom hung her head with the saddest look ever. And then I died a little inside.
You are completely right, but reading doesn't have to be in book format like you stated. You're a reader in my book (pun intended). It's just the people unlike yourself that think I'm the asshole for reading, period.
Actually let's all the negatives to that. "I'm a lazy bastard", "I'm a fat slob", "I'm such a dunce" and people laugh like it's an achievement. No it really isn't.
Additionally people who describe finishing school or college with "I did that bullshit" makes it sound to me like they barely tried and probably learned nothing more than likely.
You know, I can kind of understand the folks who do not read and are not stupid. Reading doesn't have to be everyone's passtime, and there are far more engaging mediums out there. I have a small library myself, but I honestly haven't read a book that wasn't a manual in... A really long time. I just prefer something more engaging like a movie or a good game. I have a hard justifying sitting down JUST to read.
Different strokes for different folks. I understand as well. It's just the people that look at me like I'm wasting my life or the individuals who try play it off as if I'm the not so cool stereotypical middle school bookworm.
Yep, I found the one on this thread that annoys me the most. Fuck these people.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The man who does not read lives only one life and sees through only one pair of eyes. The man who reads lives a thousand lives and sees the world through a thousand pair of eyes.
Edit: this is a paraphrase of a quote I read a long time ago, and I don't know the source
lelakat ยท 6309 points ยท Posted at 15:29:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm the type of person who just hates drama, all the time."
Generally this can be taken to mean said person loves to run their mouth and ends up creating a vast amount of the drama they claim to hate so much.
NecroGod ยท 5718 points ยท Posted at 17:36:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate drama."
Translation: "I am become drama, destroyer of worlds."
l2np ยท 1003 points ยท Posted at 21:02:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Q: Why is everyone sooo dramatic?
A: Because you tend to associate with people like yourself.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:23:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nailed it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Birds of a feather flock together" is something you can say. It'll take them a couple minutes to realize what you're saying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuck, I love drama sometimes. I come home and I'm like MUM LISTEN TO THIS SHIT RIGHT FUCKING HERE and we have a good old schadenfreude sesh for whoever's getting it sideways.
If it comes anywhere near me though, like within 12345372048917284569128km away, I'll nope out of there like anything. Drama is the best until it turns up on your doorstep.
"And s/he looked and behold, a non-Caucasian transgender otherkin. And its name that sat on it, was Drama.
And (a non-religious-affiliated transcultural afterlife version of) Hell followed with her/she/it/them/moonkin."
[deleted] ยท 5111 points ยท Posted at 17:13:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm a shitty person. I love drama. I don't want to be directly involved, but I do want to watch from the sideline and know 103% of everything that's happening.
edit: good to know that my top comment is this one. I'm glad y'all are as drama loving as me.
Omg some crazy shit unfolded on facebook over the weekend and I was like BABE GET THE POPCORN WE GOT ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 01:22:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend caught his gf of four years cheating on him. He snapped a photo of her and her "lover" and posted it onto facebook, tagging both of them. I'm no drama queen. But, i was like the gossip gal herself. I think that's her name.
I keep certain people added on Facebook exclusively for the schadenfreude. It's like my own personal soap opera, except with People of Walmart instead of attractive actors.
My favorite is much more unpredictable. She'll be with one guy for a couple months, break up messily, then date another guy for three weeks, break up messily, and on and on and on. All the while going between "I'm so in looove" and "All of the good men are gone, woe is me, I'm so unlucky" more quickly than Forrest Gump bounces a ping-pong ball. She got fired from a strip club because she got too fat and was too unstable even for them, so now she works at a gas station convenience store and earns just enough money to avoid homelessness for another month and party every weekend.
Thankfully, her surviving kids got taken away by CPS after the first one died. I'm sure she'll shit out a few more kids before long.
Either her, her boyfriend at the time, or one of her fellow strippers who sometimes worked as a babysitter; they couldn't prove which one shook the kid to death.
I know someone like this. She will meet someone and without fail she'll be 'so in love with them' man or woman I hasten to add and if she goes out with them it usually breaks down in a couple of months. IIRC she was engaged after being with a guy for two months, posted it on facebook, the works...it all disappeared about two days later.
Reddit drama (Pao's various debacles, Quinnspiracy, etc.) has honestly been the highlight of the past year for me. I know that sounds pathetic, but there's nothing I love more than some online drama, and I've never laughed harder than during the Pao thing. Hollywood will never produce better entertainment than clever Redditors and 4chan anons with rustled jimmies.
Well I am, generally, unbiased. Purely due to my lack of involvement and, therefore, lack of caring about the final outcome. I just want to know what happened.
Killvo ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:06:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that people want to then INVOLVE you in the drama. "Tracy is acting like a slut, we all think so, you should help us with the intervention we're going to have with her."
There's actually a reason for it. Gossip is part of living in a society. It helps people know what their standing is, and know where everyone else is in the hierarchy.
You guys are mistaking drama with gossip. They are not the same thing.
Jscarz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why facebook is a blessing. I don't need to involve myself but some people just post their life on that website and I remain friends with them because it's so entertaining to keep up with their drama.
Oh your baby daddy is getting out of jail in a few months? Let's keep up with that. Maybe this time he will be a better person, who knows.
Oh, miss always-has-a-new-bf has a new bf and says this is the one? Betting is now open. 5 dollar entry, prize goes to whoever is the closest to the break up date.
I'm a terrible person for it, but fuck it nobody other than me is involved so it doesn't matter.
I know this one girl that just ....drama sticks to her like ants on a dorito, every couple weeks she has some new ailment, some new bruises from side effects of the ailments drug treatments making her pass out in the shower, something went haywire with her marriage (she cheated with her husband's bosses as well as some other randoms) so then he throws her out and a few months later she's married to this new dork, add on more health problems......omg this girl. She is so fun to watch.
Especially at weddings. Aunt Sarah got shitfaced and puked in the chocolate fountain? Someone's dress caught on fire while they were having a quickie in the bathroom? MIL called the bride a crusty horsefucking whore? I am all over that.
Yup. 100%. There are people still on my facebook solely because I love watching all the crap unfold.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:44:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am in several group message threads where the only thing we ever talk about is what so and so posted on [Social Media Site/App] and who got knocked up. Fuck reality TV; I have Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:21:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For real. Probably my favorite part of working minimum wage jobs is all the office drama that unfolds about shit that doesn't matter
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:26:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do too, I will happily sit on the sidelines watching some immature people argue in person, I would pop popcorn if I could.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:01:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, I'm nosy as hell. I hate confrontation and do my best to avoid it for myself, but I need to know all the drama and gossip happening at all times. Luckily I can keep a secret so people trust me. I just want to know for knowing's sake, not so I can spread gossip around!
Yess I'm exactly this way. I also don't spread drama because that is the best way to still get all the input. If you're not spreading it, you become the person everyone talks to about shit like this, and you just sit back and eat your popcorn.
Sindja ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:42:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hah! Yeah, I love other people's drama. It's fun to watch from the sidelines, better than TV even. But no, I don't want to be involved.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:51:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Drama is fucking hilarious when I'm not involved in it.
You just made me realize that this is how I am as well. I cut drama out of my life pretty quickly, but I'll try my hardest to keep tabs on it.
Like how I keep my ex-roommate on my Facebook because her life is one giant "why the fuck would you do that?!" after another, but she was kicked out after only 3 months because I refused to put up with her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a roommate like this! And I keep her on Facebook for the same reason. Muahaha
delta-TL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have a high five for trainwrecks and meltdowns! I. Love. Drama. I don't generally have much in my life, but when I do, it's like reading a book or watching a movie. I just can't wait to see what's next in the drama.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So much of this. Truly.
Willie9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh yes. I love me some juicy drama...just so long as I am not a part of it.
totomaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One good thing about being a teacher is there's gossip EVERYWHERE. There's pretty much no drama in my department, everyone's cool, but I have friends in other departments and love hearing about all the drama. Seriously, they go looking for it. It's a perfect setup.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm excited. I'm training to be a dance teacher, hopefully a high school dance team director. GIVE ME ALL YOUR GOSSIP. IT IS MY PHOENIX DOWN.
Ragnrok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you, man. These fucked up people are my soap opera
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I love hearing who is sleeping with who, or who is getting in trouble for what around my work. I hate when anybody comes up to me crying or complaining about anything.
ankensam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, I think it's different. Sure, I like to go to the mall and people watch, but what I'm talking about is just being totally up to date on everything everyone does. Give me all your gossip. It's my phoenix down.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Once in a while direct involvement is perfect, because if you're in the middle you can direct it whichever way you want, which can get... interesting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dear, I had my fill of that in high school. I had to stop myself from doing that because I let myself get mean about it. It is fun though.
Are you me? When I say "I hate drama" what I mean is that I hate being involved in drama. But when someone else has drama, I'm like....all of the things. I must know them.
I love drama of other people's making. I won't interfere or gossip or mess things up for someone but yes, I would be lying if I didn't enjoy watching Emily's new boyfriend get totally shit faced, vomit in Ryan's pool and then have Emily scream at him for touching Rachel's boob.
Tharlo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes this so much, i dont run my mouth, but like you i know everything thats going on in my office. my boss hates it because i know often before she does. and when we have one on ones she always tries to tget the goss, but ill never tell haha
VTCifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do want to watch from the sideline and know 103% of everything that's happening.
Yessssss....
People at work are always telling me I'm nosey when I ask what's going on. My usual response is "Bitch, you think I don't know that? Now tell me what's going on!" Then they dish.
You should watch Bad Girls Club. It's basically just a bunch of girls causing drama together. I LOVE IT! And you can make comments while it's all happening because they can't fucking hear you.
UvVodkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES!!! I LOVE other people's drama. My best friend's step-daughter is a huge pain in the ass, and does shit just to annoy him and his family. His wife always takes her side, so it makes him the bad guy, and he's super salty about everything now.
KelMage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally hang out with people who don't have their shit together so I can revel in their drama and then go back to my husband, cats, and fish and bask in the joy of a mostly drama free life.
I hate being part of drama, or having it directed at me, but GOD I love to experience it vicariously.
It also reminds me how awesome my life is as a married man rather than a single guy. Married life is sooooooooo much better.
I'm just neutral about drama. I'm usually the last person to know stuff because I'm usually in my own little world, but if I hear about some juicy story I'm not going to act like I don't want to know the nitty gritty details.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep! I looooove drama. Love it. As long as it doesn't directly involve me, I'll listen to your drama all damn day.
jyetie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just love knowing people are more messed up than me.
Who did my cousin try to kill this time? Great aunt? At her sister's wedding? Were you there? Omg tell me everything!
You stalked my dad's ex's Facebook page? She's being a preachy vegan bitch again? Verbally attacked a woman wearing faux fur and posted about it as if great justice has been served? Send me screencaps. (She's 45, single, childless, few friends, used to be an alcoholic, and posted a list of reasons she "not the problem" in her life.) I loooove to hate that bitch.
Some people I greatly dislike are doing wonderfully. There's no cosmic justice there, but I get my fill from all the other shitty people
Sometimes there's people I like, or don't know very well, and I love hearing about them too. My maternal grandma's brother, never met him, he has 3 sons, all very successful. One game designer, one musician (with a beautiful wife and gorgeous baby), and a lawyer. I've never met them, but I like hearing about all the nice things going on in their lives, too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sucks2suck
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OH NY FUCK, YES! I just have this constant desire to know everything about everything that happens if it involves people being mad at each other.
Drama dying down? Subtly give information to a 3rd party who you know will pass the information onto one of the involved parties. Bingo, reignition and still once removed from the drama.
Yup same. I work in a kitchen and would hear so much drama going on. I would just always tell everybody "I am never going to use this knowledge in my life, but I like knowing things and everyones drama is entertaining to me, but leave me out of it."
This is exactly why I'm subscribed to our local Facebook group. I love the drama as long as it doesn't involve me. And since most people on there don't actually know who I am, I get to enjoy stoking the fire every now and then.
Manic_42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was that way until I started working somewhere with only 8 employees. Now it's just like "No, I don't give a shit what completely fucking irrelevant thing Stacy did an neither should you. Go do your damn job." When it's the exact same bullshit with the exact same people over and over again it just gets old.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Friend, my specific branch of work has only 8 or 9 employees as well. I love the gossip because I know everyone involved.
Also, because we collectively hate one specific employee lol
/r/subredditdrama is amazing for drama watching. Wanna see two people verbally throw the fuck down over woodworking? Is OP a piece of shit for calling BBQ sauce on pork BBQ pork in /r/foodporn? Find out today on subredditdrama!
Linguistics major here. Read a stat once that 3/4 of the conversations people have are about another person who is not present--pretty basic definition of "gossip" if you ask me.
If we didn't talk about other people... we would have nothing to talk about.
The thing is I can dish out shit but take it as well. The thing I find is so many people can't take any form of criticism or honesty, and then get defensive. Like I do hate drama, I hate it when people end up hiding how they feel and bitching about it to others, thats what causes drama. I just tend to call people out on their crap when I see it, then if they get offended atleast I'm honest about it.
Id rather be honest and tell the person how I feel than let it ramble on for months bitching to others. Thats the drama D:
Just keep your mouth shut for 98% of what ever the fuck is said or going on around you. If it doesn't directly affect you, there is next to no reason to even bother saying something. I used to be the same way, I would always call people on their bullshit because fuck them it's bullshit. But that changed because I do dislike drama. I rarely associate with the majority of the people I used to because they all just cause problems and talk shit about everyone. If I don't like the person I make it very clear when they try to talk to me.
There are some people who seem to think its theirmright to 'call everyone on their bullshit'. If it doesnt affect you, walk away (like you said). Its condescending to be policing everyones behavior, and likely to be called 'starting drama'.
Oh, no. The worst ones are the ones who dish it out, can't take people disagreeing, and then using "honesty" as a defense. I feel like some of the best coaches, directors, and judges in the world don't make others defensive in the first place. They do that by having a good enough rapport with the person they're talking to that they are giving criticism, but served up on a platter of caring and good intentions. They give you criticism because they are working with you for a bigger final product. If friends give you criticism, it's for the bigger cause of friendship.
If someone isn't using their best judgment to preserve that friendship or to protect that friend (using more tools than just criticism), then it's probably because they aren't a good friend. That would make people defensive.
Take me as an example- I'm pretty average. I'll take really harsh stuff from a friend whose point of view I trust, or someone who I feel is having a hard time but feels like it needs to be said. I respect that and will consider their opinion understanding that they care for me and respect me, too. Even if I can't change my ways and we get distant, I respect that they cared enough to come to me directly and say something.
I am more likely to get defensive when someone does it flippantly (or to like five other people before me so I know it's coming), or if I don't think their point of view is trustworthy or that they are doing it with good intentions (some people are "honest" to tear another person down, or to make themselves look more knowledgeable, or to assert authority. Fuck those people). Some people give off a vibe like they enjoy lighting the fuse and walking away, and if you don't make criticism a dialogue, you're risking coming off like a dramapot.
Hypothetical questions: If you don't make it a dialogue, why should they respect you or your opinion? Why are you even opening your mouth if it isn't to benefit anyone but your poor social impulse control?
People who are into brutal honesty tend to be more about the brutality than the honesty. That bullying attitude is a fine tactic in, say, high school or anywhere on Long Island, but adults who know what they want tend to know how to use their words like big boys and girls and communicate carefully for the best social cohesion (and the greatest chance their words are heeded).
This exactly is what it is. People who "don't do drama" are also the people that "calls'em like they sees'em" and when speaking like that turns to confrontation then continuing to speak on a subject that wasn't there business to begin with leads to the feeling of "OMG, stop the drama".
There are people who legitimately dont like it. I dont want to be a part of it, nor do I want to watch as some trashy people fight over some girl/guy. I just dont care about peoples stupid problems, and dont want to see it.
I gotmrid of facebook because I didnt care to see peoples crap play out over social media.
I also dont care to know if suzy is quitting and mark is hoping to take her job and how juicy that ismsupposed tombe for some reason.
See? I'm going to have to disagree with there. I actually think drama is a waste of time and energy, but I love being on the sidelines of that shit which is a complete contradiction in itself.
Just had to learn this one the hard way... Had to stop talking to a guy who would go out of his way to rile up some people and start some drama.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what my family told me when I announced a personal "zero drama" policy in family relations. Any drama that occurred after that turned into an immediate block on my Facebook. My life has been blessedly peaceful since then. It's amazing.
Check out all the cunts right above you. /\ 2000 upvotes for drama.
nishbot ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Completely true.
Bnal ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 17:40:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Great point. I had a conversation with a guy who said he hated drama, but would stop the conversation every time someone walked by so he could challenge them to a fight.
His girlfriend said the greatest quote I've ever heard. "When you're pregnant, you can start as many bar fights as you want and the bouncers never think it's your fault."
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:49:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bnal ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:52:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was even more charming when he ended the conversation by saying to his pregnant girlfriend "what do you say we go send your baby daddy a picture of my dick in your mouth?"
feex3 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:49:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a substitute teacher. While subbing a class one day I heard a 16 year old girl say "I hate drama. Like, I hate it. I never get involved. But this is LITERALLY the WORST thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life." Talking about some boy in the school.
Crixomix ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 22:31:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely disagree. I hate drama, am almost never part of it. Sometimes I say that I hate drama, this doesn't magically make me involved.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:55:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know the feel. I think OP means when someone just brings it up though. So like, if I'm involuntarily I'm the middle of drama I might complain about hating drama and not being able to handle it and just wanting out, but I won't just be all the time like "Pssh, man I hate that drama."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ditto. Strangely, it's always girls who hate drama, who actually love it.
KerroRo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:01:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really, I've found that people who use the word "drama" to mean interpersonal conflicts tend to experience lots of it, whether they say they like it or not.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like drama because of the gossip. Guilty pleasure. I don't like to be a part of it because it's not as fun when you're part of it.
I was at an Irish club and a friend, who lived on drama, was talking about the last drama he created and mentioned the other party was kind of threatening them. I told him to contact the police. The drama guy had the other one banned, which wasn't a bad thing since he was a nasty drunk.
Two weeks later, other people are giving me the cold shoulder, and I was confronted by people who were friends with the guy kicked out. I told them I did say to go to the cops but only to get the drama guy to STFU. Then we were friends again.
People who have to make it so known that they hate drama, are usually wrapped up in drama. People who truly hate drama won't announce it and will just casually walk away from it and not put up with it. If you have to go around letting everyone know that you're "drama free", there is a good chance you are, in fact, full of drama.
I guess it depends on the type of drama. I have learned that family drama is difficult to walk away from. My parents and I successfully cut out the drama portion of the family for more than two blissfully drama-free decades, but we got dragged back in recently.
Thank god the majority of them are baby boomers with no kids. The one that does have kids spawned reasonable, nice people that I get along with. All that shit is going to die with them, and my cousins and I will carry on like reasonable normal adult humans.
Anyone who says they 'hate drama' fucking love drama.
Especially me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't hate drama, I just enjoy seeing it while staying out of it. It's like my own person reality TV show, and if anybody starts making up rumors about me, i just shrug it off and they go away in a day or two. It's guaranteed to work.
I'm probably the least confrontational person among my friends. I really drama. Why can't people just ignore what they don't like? Seems counter productive spending so much time getting angry when you can just.. not. Lets just eat pizza, laugh at dumb movies and play games.
I don't care what you think about Shelly. I'm not going to interpret "that look" that Dan gave you. No, I don't care that Bob is late. Z is cheating on X with Y? That's going to be rough for them, but it doesn't affect me at all.
Torvaun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love drama, in small doses. I don't go out of my way to stir up shit, but I will always be the guy who wants to hear you rant about the dumbfuck at the office who has no skills beyond springing from the right persons crotch 25 years ago.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love this, because like you said, they always are the first to cause drama. They can still not like it, though. Don't mean they didn't create it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aka I am an asshole and loves to do stuff that pisses everyone off, but hate the part when people get pissed at me.
Rockyrox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one says they like to cause drama, so to me if you say such a irrelevant thing it must mean you have a lot of drama around you...which means you probably have something to do with it usually.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is always code for "I will start a bunch of shit, try and ruin people's lives, and then walk away when the consequences show up because I don't want to deal with them."
I don't know about you, but I can't stand drama - I like to avoid confrontations, I don't want to hear who's cheating on whom (it's none of my business, anyway), I'd rather get to where I'm going than gawk at a wreck on the side of the road, etc. etc.
But hey, everyone's different, so if you like that kind of thing, then more power to you. Just try not to make sweeping generalizations next time.
.....me too. I tell people I hate drama so they don't come to me with their gossip. I've always been quiet and because of that a good listener so people love telling me all about the crazy dramatic stuff in their lives but I never know what to say so it makes me anxious
If some one hates drama it's usually because it follows them everywhere they go with everyone they encounter. But they fail to realize that if it smells like shot where ever you go, check you shoe.
Joetato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know a girl like that. She says she hates drama but tries to start it all the time. As soon as it starts up, she'll insist she hates it and doesn't know why people always have to start it.
"I'm the type of person..." never ends well. It's always someone bragging about a universal trait like "I care about my family" or "am loyal to my friends".
The problem is that people who actually don't like drama avoid it quite effectively, and so 1) don't have any reason to mention their feelings on drama as it doesn't happen much, and 2) might even say they enjoy drama because in their experience it is happening to someone else and since they avoid it so well they just sit back and enjoy the show.
hhaha that's my MIL she said to me the other day "you know me, I don't live in drama" translates too, I love to live in drama, and she'll repeat it until we're dead.
The variation I've seen a lot is "God I hate drama so much but it always seems to find me!" They like to always act like it's never them and always someone else.
I however, find other people's drama incredibly amusing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I hate YOUR drama. I fucking love the shit I start.'
I had a female friend who claimed she liked her guy friends better because "guys are less drama." She was the sole source of drama in my life for about a year.
I'm sorry. I do this. I hate when people talk about others behind their back. I'm just straight forward with people and sometimes brutal about it. This makes people angry and then it does create drama.
I don't get why people say they hate drama. I love drama! I mean as long as it's not pulling me into the hellfire, I'll watch the rest of 'em burn. I like to hear gossip too, I try not to gossip myself, but when I do I like to make sure I put in "Bob told me that....". That last bit is probably pretty awful of me. Now I feel bad.
"drama all ways follows me around, but I hate drama"
Aietra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a documentary that explores this concept to new and profound depths...oh, what was it called..."Real Housewives of Atlanta", that's the one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are people like me supposed to freaking say when we're trying to tell our friend that we don't want to know what they said to their roommate's bf or to give our opinions on whether or not your feelings are justified when your sister did whatever and they just want to know our opinion (whose side we're on).
I can't do it man. I just hate drama! Give me a phrase that will make me taken seriously lol.
Shizo211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm very calm in real life some even say that I'm jaded or apathetic and I really want to avoid unnecessary stress and drama at all costs but I can't voice it for exact this reason. The drama queens have ruined it for me.
Edit: Drama itself can be quite entertaining but being involved is what makes it bad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only people that are constantly surrounded by "drama" tend to have a strong opinion on it. Since they're the only common factor in that equation, it is usually safe to assume that they are the cause of said "drama."
My sister and best friend are both a mess and it can be really stressful but I wont tell you I don't LOVE their stories. The shit they get up to (separately, they dont hang out) is fucking ridiculous.
I think it's more about when someone says "I hate drama". If they say it when they first meet you, that's a warning sign. I, on the other hand, tend to say it right before I never speak to you again.
Doesn't necessarily mean that person is full of drama. I myself will tell people I dislike drama, and that if they create any for me, I will most likely not hang out with them.
The phrase "im the type of person..." is byfar the worst. It seems so conceded. I just went on a date with a girl who said this (with different endings) 3 or 4 times. After the first time i knew it wasnt right for me. The big bummer is that she is the sexiest and most beautiful woman ive ever taken out. We planned for another date, but i decided later i want nothing to do with her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like people who doesn't have drama doesn't really have any reason to hate it. It's like sushi for me. I have never had sushi, so I can't really hate it. But I'm also not really willing to try it either.
I am comfortable generalizing on this one - said unprompted, "I hate drama" always means "I love drama but want to pretend it all occurs spontaneously because that's more dramatic."
Had a coworker once who would always go on about how much she hated drama. Funny thing...she was the one who started it, but would then accuse others (mainly me) of starting it when they tried defending themselves against her.
I swear the word drama should be a word people don't use after they turn 19.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate drama" is like "I'm a nice guy;" both things not normally said by those who exemplify those statements, but then Internet trope has become that if you utter any variation of either, then you exemplify the opposite to the nth degree, thereby ruining it for those who genuinely hate drama or genuinely consider themselves nice guys to identify themselves.
[deleted] ยท 1894 points ยท Posted at 20:49:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 01:42:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Real women have curves."
"Real men treat their women like queens."
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 03:54:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 04:41:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, that's a good ideal."
zangent ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 04:49:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Baschi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:55:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with everything, but just for arguments sake she wasn't saying the ONLY real men raise other men's unwanted children but rather that those men who do definitely belong to that group.
Debating cutting down on overhead so I'm looking into maybe sharing an apartment. A few craigslist ads have scared me off, one that sticks out is 'pescatarian, no smoking, no drugs, no alcohol. Must live an authentic lifestyle'
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:05:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a really fun person.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:30:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh I used to live with one of those people. She would make these horrendous green detox smoothies and go on about how free and 'actualised' she felt - whatevrer the fuck that means... Worst thing though was that she would eat my timtams. Bitch you're meant to be a vegan and you're sneaking chocolate biscuits from me like I won't notice!
cky12qxz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:13:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Zemogray ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:21:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"____ this is real music"
"____ is an amazing artist. It's sad how this generation doesn't appreciate real music"
Makes my blood boil. Partly because there's a chance that when I grow up I might be that person complaining about the new type of music.
estafan7 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:30:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The truth is that there is good and bad music from every era. Naturally people only remember the good music that is old and forget about the bad stuff. In the future people say that old music is better when they only know about the good music that people still listen to. Surely there was crap that most people have forgotten about.
Speaking of this, I haven't heard lollipop on the radio in ages. Or Soulja boy. See, the junk is already being culled, replaced with different junk that will also be forgotten.
estafan7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:27:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It makes me happy whenever I go back to something I liked many years ago to find out it is actually great and I had good taste. I remember watching Toy Story again and I appreciated the movie much more than I did when I was a kid.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:31:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I am right now, and I'm really young. I don't display it this way, or go out of my way to poke fun or shit all over current music styles that are popular. And I accept that other people like it and that it will be played at public things and by a majority of people. But it is so tough when everywhere you go you hear the same three songs over and over and over for about a year until something new becomes popular... So it goes with all music though.
The thing that a lot of people forget is that this merry-go-round of chart hits that fade to nothing isn't new. It goes all the way back to the fifties when recorded music became a viable mass market medium.
I guarantee you, you will be. I'm only 28, and everything kids listen to today is steaming garbage. Whether it's Iggy Azalea, Nicki Ninaj, Arianna Grande, Miley Cyrus, One Direction, 2NE1. It's all garbage, it's trash, and they should listen to real music.
So in short, yes, you will be. Cause this isn't a figment of our collective imaginations. Music is objectively getting worse every decade. You'd have to have something with you not to notice that after a certain age.
Zemogray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Kanye West, Childish Gambino, Logic, J.Cole, Arctic Monkeys, GroupLove Lot's of really good artists out there. I would list more but other areas of music are not my expertise.
I like to give myself an open mind, i appreciate the music some of those artist make. Ariana Grande has a really amazing voice, and some people enjoy it. It's not trash because you personally don't like it. Music is an art, an opinion, a way to express your self. Everyone has their own preference. Just because certain artists just don't click for you, doesn't mean their not good.
shadmere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:07:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually used this name since the 90s. It was the name of a wizard in a story I was writing, and was a combination of the name Shadimar (from The Last Renshai series) and Darkmere (from the fairly terrible Dark Chronicles).
So much of this. I work for my parents business but hiring/firing is still run by the manager, and not my parents, and they aren't the type to not crack down on employees who don't work. So hearing "oh that doesn't count, thats not a real job your hired by your parents," no I'm hired by my manager, sorry you got fired twice and cant find a job.
kblaney ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:45:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When Scotland was voting to separate from the UK I had a number of friends who were commenting that real Scots were voting to separate (usually with a picture of Mel Gibson in Braveheart). It was a "No True Scotsman" argument in its natural habitat.
As a side note. If someone legally does something to earn money (and even otherwise at times) don't talk down on it... ever. You will usually have no idea what their situation is and how much work actually goes into said thing they do to earn a living. Especially if it's something they love, and it makes them happy/not broke.
Honestly I have an argument for the 'real music' thing. I don't consider dubstep or EDM or things of that nature music because it's made electronically. I consider real music to be things like led Zeppelin, ac/dc, journey, bands that use actual instruments as opposed to a keyboard
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they would just replace "real" with "good" we could have an actual conversation but they aren't trying to converse. They are defining words as they see fit and your input is not welcome.
To be fair, a job that doesn't pay enough to get you above the poverty line shouldn't be a "real" job. That's the only context I've heard it used, but other situations would probably be annoying.
"Those aren't real christians/jews/muslims, the reeaaal ones are peaceful"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but to be fair, "you're not a real Xtian if" usually has some claim.
Like, "You're not a real christian if you actively go against the teachings of Christ and buy into instead archaic group-based belief structures that defy everything to do with the word of god."
To be fair, my cousin has a job playing guitar at bars. He doesn't make shit, is bad, and almost never has bookings. He basically just sits around on his ass smoking pot. He should get a real job. Especially since he is a CPA & just doesn't want to be a part of "the system' or whatever
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not real art unless it-"
Holy fuck I see this on reddit all the time (about modern art.) I really like art. German expressionism and catholic reformation to be specific. I never shit on other genres. It's just not necessary. Other people enjoy it and other people are talented enough to make it, it literally doesn't affect me at all that there's other genres out there.
The people online one pisses me off, people don't understand friendships that can develop between online gamers. Sometimes I like people I talk with while gaming better than people I physically talk to
I can relate to the real job part. I dated a girl and she graduated with a 3.7 GPA in nuclear med and refused to apply to a "real" job and remained a bar tender at a local eatery. Don't get me wrong, it's a tough job, but the real part of it refers to a job with benefits, retirement ect. I used that phrase a lot. Come to find out I like women with ambition.
The No true scotsman fallacy has nothing to do with imtimidation.
It's a fallacious way of discrediting a counter example.
No true Scotsman is an informal fallacy, an ad hoc attempt to retain an unreasoned assertion. When faced with a counterexample to a universal claim ("no Scotsman would do such a thing"), rather than denying the counterexample or rejecting the original claim, this fallacy modifies the subject of the assertion to exclude the specific case or others like it by rhetoric, without reference to any specific objective rule ("no true Scotsman would do such a thing")
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:03:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
e.g. "Well, no X would do Y."
"But I know someone who's X and he does Y."
"Well, they're not a real X".
YanDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only stupid people say that" / "A person would have to be dumb to think that"
Ad hominem
"Everyone agrees that..."
Bandwagon fallacy
"All scientists say it's so"
Appeal to authority
No true scotsman has absolutely nothing to do with intimidation. It implies that someone is wrong because they don't properly understand a category they presented in their argument.
EG
Person 1: "Don't piss that guy off, he's clearly in a bike gang"
Person 2: "No it's not, its just a fat guy having a beer"
Person 1: "It is. Bikers always wear a patch like that on their jackets."
Person 2: "No real biker would wear a patch with roses on it"
I did type Argument from Popularity which is the English form of the phrase. Something is popular and therefore right is the Argument from popularity fallacy.
Grey1914 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:54:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did we ever get a confirmation on whether it was a boy or a girl, I remember reading his post that said she was a boy then proceeded to say "or am I"
Or did we get a confirmation.
He is a guy, he says so in his AMA. He also wrote a children's book, "The mouse in the manor house". It is a short story in his usual rhyming style and very sweet.
Holy crap, I missed this ama. A couple of months ago, I check every single comment he up to the point where the she myth started, and couldn't find anything about it. This is finally closure.
I have a friend who claims to be OCD, and I know she's actually seeing a therapist for something... But I am inclined to believe she is the "sorting books" kind of OCD. The way she talks about it is trivial and not really worrisome at all. I like it when all the cards are lined up nicely too, lolololol. It's just too awkward to ask her if she's diagnosed with the disorder or if she's just really fucking particular about things and proud of it.
To be fair to her, you don't know the conflicting feelings you get from it. I take pride in my things being organized, but when you obsess over it so much you start to want to organize other peoples things it is a little out of hand. It took me a while to get over some of my bigger problems, but i still have to have everything at right angles to each other, worry about symmetry, and need all radio volumes and things like that to be on a multiple of five. It may not be a huge deal but it still buts into my life when I would really rather it not. Like when I'm driving and want to turn the radio up, but can't get it to sit on a five. Not only is it dangerous but it is also infuriating that I can't just let that go. It gets annoying, but on the other hand I still enjoy having things just so. Not a big deal but it is still something that negatively affects my life.
On the other hand I don't know your friend and only know my own feelings on the matter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My understanding of OCD is that it relates much more to the feelings/worries of what will happen if the individual doesn't perform the compulsion. I think everybody should be made aware of that when having a conversation about who may or may not suffer from OCD.
This is pretty nitpicky, but you can't "be" OCD. That's saying you're personifying the disorder itself. "Have OCD" is a better way to phrase that, and takes away from the "lol omg I'm so OCD!" trope.
More like: "let me get in the shower to clean off, oh that handle needs cleaned, let me use some bleach and a scrub brush... now I have bleach on my hands let me wash again, but with a nail brush. Oh there's another spot, grab the bleach again." Before you know it, the water is cold and you're naked on your knees, scrubbing the shower with a toothbrush, crying because nothing will ever be clean enough, not the shower and certainly not your hands.
I have a friend who has permanent skin damage from this. He needed to wash his hands 13 times each time he used the restroom, sometimes with bleach. A year of therapy helped, but his hands still crack and bleed when it's cold.
Yes. I work with a shithead for a boss and she has said it on numerous occasions. "Omg I'm just so OCD guys! XD" It makes me murderous. Same thing with people who flippantly use bipolar in the same fashion. "Sorry guys I am just so bipolar today! LOL" T_T fuck off, you are neither of those things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:13 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess we're obsessively compulsive over people who say they're OCD and bipolar
more importantly who would know that context? delusions and psychosis without mental illness usually come from using ultra cracked out shit like crystal meth or pcp or bath salts
Dude I figured this out as a child before I even really knew what drugs were, and it was fucking awesome! I remember telling my mom about it and then all of a sudden the Benadryl was in hard-to-reach places all the time...
I live in Florida though, so psychoactives grow all over the place 7-8 months a year.
Not always. A lot of people cope with their schizophrenia in this way. Makes the experience less intrusive/threatening to accommodate and befriend them.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:00:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
With the state of mental health and the stigma of even going to therapy let alone being diagnosed, it wouldn't surprise me if this community was born out of people having symptoms and learning to cope with it. Like any other community, there will be people who just want to belong for whatever reason, and don't actually have the symptoms.
The third one would have me running screaming for the hills. But I suffered the emotional abuse of someone who I swear to god had borderline personality disorder. I won't touch that shit with a 10 foot pole and I am not sorry for having that opinion.
Man that's really sad. I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was little and my mom never did anything about it. It wasn't until I was older that it really started wearing me down. It's a pretty crappy thing to have.
[deleted] ยท 162 points ยท Posted at 20:17:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm OCD and Bipolar.
I actually laugh at jokes about both, because I even though I do go to therapy and take my meds, I think comedy is the best treatment for anything.
If I take it too seriously, I just get depressed. Joke, both from me, and others make me remember that it's something to keep in perspective, but never let it get out of hand.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:22:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have the same, although I know there's a lot of variation so we don't have the same experiences. But I have so much trouble taking that as a joke, especially when they joke about being bipolar. Maybe I'm angry because I can't join in on their jokes. Aren't you worried someone is going to take your jokes seriously and make judgments?
Or maybe I'm just bitter because it's obvious they don't think it's a serious condition. I have to lose time, money, and take meds for the rest of my life. Ugh sorry, I'm a buzzkill. I can't even talk about bipolar jokes without getting angry.
I'm somewhere between the two of you. It's best not to get too uptight over shit like that- it isn't worth your time or energy.
At the same time, people like this are part of the reason mental illness is so disgraceful in our society. If you know what true mental illness is, you're more likely to be compassionate. So this is harmful.
Aw. Hugs. Maybe when you're on the upswing it'll get a giggle.
For what it's worth, I agree it is nothing to be joked about - I get people wanting to 'try and make the best of it' but there is a severe lack of respect for all mental illnesses, and either pretending to be 'OCD' for effect or straight up mocking it is doing noone any favors.
It's not a joke though. There isn't anything funny about it. They aren't trying to be funny. Tell me a really good, offensive joke about OCD and I'm so down! This is just lame and overused.
Totaly agree!
Even laughed when some guy at uni said i looked like a fucking EMO with all my scars. And i joke about my bipolar and ADHD (not so much anorexia) all the time!
Go on, have a laugh!
l3esitos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bipolar and minor schizophrenia, shit's fun to laugh at when it's not derogatory.
My old housemate is bipolar. He had a similar feeling. He said one of the reasons he liked me was that I was never afraid to call him a twat when he was being a twat; showed I didn't really give a fuck about the illness and was talking to the dude, made him feel normal.
"I'm [disorder] like that" seems like a pretty run of the mill exaggeration.... Like when someone says "I'm going to kill you!" nobody gets offended on behalf of murder victims and their families.
I'm with you. I have anxiety and previously struggled with depression, as well as drug addiction (3.5 years clean). My arms are covered in scars from self harming and I make jokes all the time. I got a paper cut at work once and yelled "oh god! What if I get a scar?" It landed pretty well.
But when they say, "Ugh I'm so bipolar today, they don't mean it as a joke. How can you take that as a joke? I'm confused.
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
whew... addictions counsellor that works with mental health counsellors. :) we make jokes about ourselves quite a bit like that... never our clients though, :)
Yeah the morons at work put that on their bio pages thinking it was cute, it's like no people, it's actually kind of a horrible condition you're making light of.
In my defense I really do believe I have dyslexia. I've never complained to a doctor anything. But I fuck up everything I read and say out loud especially when reading from stuff out loud. Been like that since I was little but I never had THAT much trouble in school. I feel like it's gotten much worse as I get older. I also had trouble speaking when I was little. Also have some trouble understanding people.
That could be something, but whatever it is, it's not dyslexia. Dyslexics have trouble recognizing written words. Instead of being able to just look at a word and be like, "oh, that says penguin", they have to go, "okay, that's a p...e...n...g...u...aha! it says penguin!"
The you don't really count, everyone screws up reading sometime, like reading incredible as inedible or saying massage instead of message, but just screwing up every now and again is normal. In your case it's probably just a mild case, so you're exempt form the people I'm talking about.
As a person who has Bi-Polar disorder and experienced severe hallucinations when I was manic-depressive, these phrases make me want to punch someone in the face.
EDIT: Spelling of severe
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:47:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally agree. I can only speak for bipolar disorder but people don't know what it is really like and therefore shouldn't speak in a way that makes it seem trivial. I can only assume people with other mental illnesses must feel the same. Stay strong man.
I've been off meds for a little over a year now, and out of therapy for almost the same amount of time. It feels really good. It's difficult sometimes, because I can't rely on one person to listen to me all the time, but I feel really healthy most days.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:05:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure I could do the no meds thing but I am glad you can do it. It must be awesome. As far as therapy I have never really needed it, personally, so I can't really relate. I'm glad you have seemed to find your way of dealing with it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks man. You too. Maybe I will catch you on /r/bipolar some day.
I haven't ventured there yet, I'm still a bit of a noob here.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is a pretty judgement free place. Give it a shot one day.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've definitely received some good support and help over there. It helps to know there are others who struggle with the same stuff I do and that I'm not some broken freak.
How long were you on med and what meds were you taking. I have been on meds for a year now and I hate it! Doctors say I have to stay on them till I die.
I was on them for two years (I was diagnosed when I was sixteen, I got off them when I turned eighteen, and I didn't have to listen to my doctors or mother anyway - or so I thought). I was taking Depakote at 1500 MGs. (Three 500 MG pills a day). I know it sucks, but in a lot of situations the meds can ONLY help - it does get better, stay strong.
Smegead ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:44:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a person with bipolar disorder who takes the time to process my thoughts, these people mildly annoy but I realize they're a symptom of a much larger problem resulting from a commonly held set of misconceptions about the disorder and metal health issues in general. I also realize they have no personal attachment to the issue and so I can't expect them to be able to understand. Then I realize I have way bigger issues.
Absolutely true. My freshman year roommate is a theatre major - and he was taking an acting class where they had to use masks. He wanted to do BiPolar and make one mask incredibly happy and fun while the other incredibly hateful and mad. I had to explain to him what being manic and being depressed actually was and when he took the time to listen I felt good being able to educate someone on the subject - especially before he did a performance on it that could have only made it worse.
I'm Bipolar type 1 and my thoughts on this change with my mood. Sometimes I don't care at all and laugh it off, sometimes I could punch someone in the teeth, sometimes I don't have the energy to care. Your typo made me laugh by the way, "metal health issues". Those robots need to start taking better care of themselves!
I have type two as well, my mania is considerably less intense than my depression - but I do have very bad manic-depressive episodes sometimes (haven't had one in over a year, though).
And on the Bipolar Bear thing, I had a friend in high school who called me that because he was convinced I'd turn out gay, and I happened to have more hairs on my chest than everyone else - I didn't mind, I thought it was funny. Turns out he's actually gay, and to my knowledge I'm still straight.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:05:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I may have been misdiagnosed - who knows? The Psychiatrist I saw in the psychiatric ward diagnosed not only myself, but my roommate, and three others with the same thing in the same week. Now that may have been coincidence (cause we definately shouldn't have been talking about our diagnoses) but I'd be willing to bet that some mistakes were made.
But he did describe mine as being stress induced, so more or less like a seizure or something of the kind - I was prescribed seizure medication as a result.
Manic-depressive is best described as a rage-filled, clearly triggered panic attack. Generally when someone with Bi-Polar disorder is in a Manic-depressive state, they are suicidal; or at least, that's been my experience, I could be very-very wrong. Generally entering into the state is a small euphoria, followed then by obsessive bantering and impulsive decision making - generally this is what a lot of people think Depression actually looks like, intense sadness and anger and hate just pours out of you.
To put it super simply: If Mania is a state of irrational thought, and depression is a state of hyper-rational thought, then manic depression is a state of hyper-irrational thought.
As someone in a similar position to you... These phrases don't bother me at all. I don't need to claim loyalty to my mental team or some shit, who cares, they do them and you do you. It's just words and can be kinda contextually descriptive considering the perception.
Yeah, but when you have people like my college roommate who thought Bi-Polar disorder was being happy and being sad in equal irrational amounts, that's kind of a problem, especially when he took me being excited about a new chapter of Tokyo Ghoul or a good part of a book I'm reading as me being manic - or when I would be tired, he'd take that as depression. Like, he wasn't able to identify it, and it got annoying sometimes. It's contexts like that that you do have to educate people.
And when I encounter people who say "He/she is so bipolar" I calmly let them know that I'm bipolar and that being two-faced does not make someone bipolar, it makes them an asshole.
That is your opinion - I tend to be more open with it. I don't flat out tell people unless it comes up, which is more rare than I'm giving credit.
Not to say that your point isn't valid, but if I cared what people thought about me (whether they found me annoying or not) I wouldn't self-identify with a mental disorder.
to each his own.
its just that I don't see people almost proudly boasting about having eczema for example.
maybe I was exposed to too many emo teenage girls who would try hop aboard the bipolar train before that now I'm cautious around anyone who bandies it around, gets vocally defensive or brings it up in casual conversation . its my thing and I deal with it on my terms. I'm not offended by the descriptor of bipolar cause as far as an adjective goes it's pretty understood.
I guess to put it into better terms, here's a rough transcription of what happens when I hear someone use it incorrectly.
"God I hate that (insert adjective here), he/she's so bipolar!"
"Hey man, that's not cool."
"Well, not actually - it would suck if they were."
"Yeah dude, it would. Being BiPolar kinda sucks, and it has nothing to do with being all happy one minute and sad the next, the mood swings take time and can be anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks. The highs are dangerous, and the lows are destructive. I could tell you more about it if you want me to, but please don't use that phrase to describe someone who's two-faced anymore."
Now I will admit it's rarely that well-worded, as that conversation is a manic trigger, and I'll stutter a lot more, but I usually use a layout like that.
But on the note of the teenage girls: I hated them too. Too many of those in the psyche ward when I went there, but I couldn't call them out on it, because that's really fucking rude. But in the real world, I tend to distance myself from other BiPolar types if they are loud and obnoxious about it - but the ones that are more like me tend to flock and we have our own little clique that only crazy kids on meds can be a part of, its oddly comforting.
That might be it - who knows? I don't even know what I'm gonna eat for dinner tonight, I'm certainly not qualified to talk about my own mental disorder!
I've actually heard people say "I'm bipolar like that." I find it fucking infuriating. What?! You can show more than two emotions in the span of ten minutes?! Shocking!!!!!
JIH7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen people call themselves bipolar before. One girl I went to middle school with would say "I'm bipolar and I will GO OFF ON YOU!" She definitely wasn't, she just chose not to control her temper. It offended me personally because I grew up with serious anger problems and I learned to keep my head on straight and bite my tongue even when I feel rage welling up inside of me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear people joke around about things being bipolar all the time as well, actually. "Lol this weather is so bipolar" when they mean the weather is changing frequently. Pisses me off, man.
AGREED! One of the smartest posts on reddit I have ever read was a comment in response to the question "What is something 100 years from now people will think we are barbarians for?" The comment: Treatment of Mental illness. It really irritates me when people speak like that and then pride themselves about how aware or "just" they are.
jmwbb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ziedon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:22:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The first question I ask whenever someone says stuff like this is: "What kind of help do you receive?" Which is usually followed by, "Well... I don't get help, but I know I have it." And that is how you tell who is just being Facebook stupid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WELL I'M PSYCHOTICALLY VIOLENT LIKE THAT
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ugh, I need to lose 3 pounds sooooo bad, I should just go anorexic."
Very personal for me, always sends me into a rage spiral.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:32 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cody6781 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree.. The ocd version is annoying as fuck but I don't think I would say it's the same as saying schizophrenic. Obvious similarities aside, they are very different diseases in actuality. As least in most cases the ocd thing is at least a tiny bit applicable
I think reddit is way too critical of this kind of shit. It's just an exaggeration to convey an idea, like when someone says they're starving. They're not literally starving, just really hungry. I think every gets that. Just seems like an odd thing to be bothered by.
As someone medically diagnosed with BPD, and whose BPD and OCD almost ruined my life, they can fuck right off. Nothing infuriates me more than trivializing the things people actually have to deal with. "Im so retarded" - no you're not, assbag.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I legitimately believe I have OCD though, in the real sense.
No I'm not a clean freak, no not everything has it's place, but I've got this tick where I need to hit the home button on my phone what seems like at least 5 times and I need to check and close recent apps 5 times in a row before I feel satisfied.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did some reading on the subject and it was very interesting. It seems that the part of your brain that tells you there is a problem is fine but once the problem is fixed the next part of the brain that says, "good job, next task" never gets activated and you feel like there is still a problem. It sounds like this isn't huge issue you for you (comparatively) but you should watch to see if it gets worse. The solution is to fight it as long as you can (the repeated processes) and do something you truly enjoy and can get better at. For example learning guitar. It releases dopamine which strengthens new pathways in the brain and can 'fix' the problem. This is all according to 'The Brain that Changes Itself' by Norman Doidge.
OCD is not being bothered when something is out of place. OCD is when you can't step on the last step of your staircase because you believe that if you do, your life will be I'm shambles . It's when you can stop keeping useless objects until finally you bury yourself alive and tear your family apart. It isn't a joking matter. It's not "cute". I hat when people say things like rhat.
EDIT: looks like somebody else said alot of the same things I did, didn't notice until I scrolled down. Just serves to prove the point though.
JThoms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who works with the mentally ill population you have no idea how much it infuriates me when people say "I have ADD sometimes". I laugh because I actually do have ADD but have it pretty well maintained through meditation because I was tired of feeling like a zombie while taking the medications.
Regardless, people who say they are depressed, then say it's because they couldn't get tickets to some stupid concert irk me. Real depression is fucking awful and should never be "imitated".
People definitely misuse schizophrenia in a similar way
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm bipolar like that doesn't sound offensive, I'm schizo like that makes you sound like an idiot, and I'm borderline personality disorder like that is clumsy.
sadman81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OMFG THE BRICK IN THE SIDEWALK IS OUT OF PLACE MY OCD IS KILLING ME ARGH! Your OCD is not killing you because it isn't real. You are annoyed because the brick violated the pattern your brain made up. Requiring exactly 23 napkins to be on the table for every meal is OCD. Having to walk around your house 3 times before you can go in is OCD. Having to tune into every TV channel and watch every video in your youtube subscriptions is OCD. YOU DO NOT HAVE OCD YOU INCONSIDERATE WALNUT.
OCD isn't liking things being neat and orderly. OCD is not sleeping because you kept checking to make sure the front door was locked and then forced yourself to stop even when it still didn't feel okay, only to panic and check that every knife is away in its drawer and those drawers are securely closed because you're afraid something sharp will fall off the table, land on the cat, and kill it. Then when you're done with that you try to go to bed but you accidentally touched the used tissue your roommate left on the table so you wash your hands again and again and again and now suddenly its' 4:30 and you might as well not go to bed at all because you need to double-check the homework you already double-checked.
Fuck people who make light of OCD. (For clarification, I do not have OCD, but this is a real sequence of events that occurs sometimes to someone I know who does.)
[deleted] ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 20:26:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly how it feels to me. Everything must be positioned perfectly on the dining room table or it will make me more vulnerable to abduction. When I go to bed the covers must be crisp and perfect and I have to get into bed a certain way or the sheets will strangle me in my sleep. I can only sleep on my back but when I take my earrings out I sleep on my left side because that means nothing can puncture a hole in my head. That's just the beginning of it. And OCD people know it's stupid and ridiculous but in some tiny way we are struck with terror that what IF these awful things do happen because we didn't give in to our compulsions and invasive thoughts?
thebbman ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:40:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Um I suddenly feel uncomfortable. I do all sorts of weird things like this all the time and I have to constantly stop myself and tell myself to relx. Could I have OCD or maybe just slight paranoia?
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:10:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would consider it OCD. A lot of it for me dealt with intrusive thoughts which were recurring, awful, usually illegal, disturbing, or straight up fucked up. But that is how it started. My least favorite and most disturbing thought revolves around breaking necks. Even if I am being gentle when I wrestle with my dog, I have to stop to check that I didn't fracture or break his neck. Cat sleeping? I probably broke her neck. Hear my neck pop? Probably broke it and will die shortly. I get way more fucked up thoughts than that but they result in doing things that will "reverse" the effects of what I believe will happen. To ensure I don't choke when I'm drinking from a tall glass, I take 12 quick gulps then ditch the rest of my drink. In the morning I have to make sure all my limbs are intact or they might decay. I have to constantly tap my fingers on a certain pattern that will keep me safe at night so demons don't get me.
thebbman ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:17:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to obsess over if my books I was carrying would get damaged in any way. So if I had one with me in the car and left it in there when we got to a store I would make sure it rested in the perfect position on the seat so that it couldn't get damaged.
I also frequently struggle with brief violent imagery in my head. Example: I was up in the mountains with my fiance and we were standing close to an edge and I had brief visions of what would happen if I pushed. It made me step away from the edge and I got sick to my stomach.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:33:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:15:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The oven thing is the worst. Sometimes I have to drive home from work to check again even though I already checked. Fortunately I'm down to about once a month now! I still continously go back and forth from my car to the door to check the lock 2-3 times a week though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Set up a webcam so you never have to do this again.
I have those thoughts too, but it's more "what if I didn't lock the door correctly, and what if someone breaks in and steals all my stuff" rather than the violent stuff. But sometimes I do have thoughts, like if I am driving and I hit a bump I will start thinking about how I hit an animal or a child, and it will get to a point where I'll stop my can and check.
Maybe it's just because of this comment thread, but should I go and get checked for OCD? I have other neurological problems so I don't know if it's just those.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey there is never any shame in being checked out. Visiting a therapist can help you understand lots of issues in your life regardless of whether or not you are mentally ill. I would give it a shot if I were you. Because you do seem to have paranoia and anxiety and it could definitely be under OCD and the only way to be sure is by being diagnosed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the difference is you're not 'doing' anything as a means of preventing the above things from happening - iethe compulsions which an OCD sufferer will perform. It sounds more like generalised anxiety to me, but I'm not a psychologist.
I do the exact same things with my fingers, for the same reason. In a specific sequence, too. Sometimes I wonder if it was a coping mechanism when I was a kid that just carried to adulthood? Either way, it's still very, very annoying.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:35:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to put my left thumbnail under every other nail starting with the index and then working my way back up. Then I use the left thumbnail on my right hand in the same way. Then I use my right thumbnail but reversed. Or I press each nail into each fingertip. It is an anxiety thing. I used to chew on sharp things to stab my gums (oh sweet jesus it felt so good) but it started destroying my gum line so I went back to the fingernail thing.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:38:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:56:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it horrible? My mother was talking to a couple of friends and friend 1 was talking about how her daughter obsessively tidies her room in particular ways, has strange obsessive habits and gets very frustrated and will scream and cry at whoever messes up her routines. Friend 2 starts talking about how kids these days can get away with a lot of mental illness bullshit because parents coddle them too much and that friend 1 should do everything to prevent the girl from doing her habits and shouldn't be comforted. I butted on a bit to help explain that mental illness goes deeper than being coddled and OCD has a lot of underlying mental stress and anxiety and that friend 1's daughter is probably in more distress than they can even begin to explain. Anyway, this whole conversation ended predictably with me being told off for trying to defend stupidity and for just "arguing for the sake of being different" and that REAL mental illness is not edgy or different. This is the same shit I was confronted with from my parents when my therapist tried to tell them I was suffering from depression, OCD, and BPD several years ago. Having nobody but your therapist understand is truly alienating. And to anybody who is reading this and feels terribly related to how I felt cast out and misunderstood, you're absolutely not alone.
That's one thing I didn't understand about OCD, and I think a lot of people don't. It's not just repetitive actions. It's constant intrusive/obsessive thoughts. And they can be about anything really. It's so frustrating
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it? Like I also get thoughts about how I would kill myself (I should just jump off this balcony right onto the water slide. I'd go out with a bang in front of this group of children) and where I would kill and disembowel my animals. When I get these thoughts it just breaks me down and it is so so difficult to get rid of them. I would never ever even consider hurting anyone or myself or an animal, and those thoughts disgust me and are extremely disturbing. And I will repeat a phrase over and over in my head for hours (I'm gonna slit my wrists etc etc) and it will just torture me. On a good day I can brush off these thoughts and feel somewhat normal.
Have you thought about seeing someone? I think it would be good to get a professional opinion
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:01:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have before and I was much better with a therapist than I am now. However we are very poor so I can only go to my school therapist, meaning I have to wait til the start of this school year to go.
OCD isn't a black or white disorder, there are shades of grey.
For example: My father having to tap his watch, wallet, keys and cell phone in precisely the same order, precisely 5 times before leaving the house is a bit OCD. (Before the cell phone was added to the mix counting was in repetitions of 3 which was better.)
If he's already left the house, he's tired and can't remember if he counted that day, then turning the car around to go back home, and unlock the house and count again "watch, wallet, keys, cell phone 1, watch, wallet..." is more OCD.
But it could be worse, once he's actually gotten to his destination if he can't remember if he counted that day he'll do a spot check and if all are there, 3 times in the right order, he's good to go.
If it's something you can't control, if it is inconvenient or embarrassing, if you notice the repetitions are increasing, if you can't move on to the next task or have high anxiety to do so without completing the ritual, you should probably go see your doctor to discuss it.
I used to joke that I was slightly OCD because I liked things neat and orderly. But after reading some of these responses, I'm now wondering if I'm just very particular about things or if I may actually exhibit some traits of OCD.
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 20:27:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To clarify, what people generally refer to when they say "OCD" is actually "OCPD", or Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. They're two totally different things.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:05:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say this.
And even then, OCPD is a clinical diagnosis that can eat away at your soul. Trust me
Actually going to a psychiatrist tomorrow! But my counselor is great because she knows what I'm dealing with. She does have a degree
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect! Glad to hear. Good luck. And if you have any questions, feel free to let me know -- I'm a few months from my MD, so I can translate docspeak for ya if you ever run into that problem.
I was the kind of kid who avidly avoided cracks on the pavement so my mom didn't break her back
xXerisx ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:06:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have OCD."
"Me too."
Been dealing with severe, debilitating OCD, since I was about 7 (Im 27, now) and I dont ddislike people saying it because it's like some sort of club, it's because since it has become a popular phrase, it belittles what I go through, thus making it harder for people to understand or grasp exactly what a strain on my life it is. They think they have it because they are tidy or have some bouts once in a while; so, they don't understand that taking a shower can take 2 hours, walking out the door could take 15 minutes, etc., etc. I just don't tell people unless I really get to know them because it will become obvious, eventually.
Did you intend to type the "d" in "ddislike" twice & immediately delete the 2nd? Because.. Well, I assume you can figure why I asked... โบ
xXerisx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Its funny, because I reread this, saw that, and figured "Someones gonna think that's OCD.", which is also another thing people do when they know I have it and actually understand what it means (I dont have a problem with this), but no... that was just a typo. :P
xXerisx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Sorry!
I do OCD with typing, writing and reading but not like that; I always do my OCD stuff before I enter it or, like you said, I edit it.
I would say what sets me off but then assholes on here would intentionally do it (like my ex).
When I read and stumble while reading a word, I go back a word, and if I stumble on that word, go back another.
I've become a pretty fast reader because of it, though.
Two people with OCD? Well, that would be interesting.
My last relationship that I just got out of (7 years), my OCD was a big strain on our relationship... although she did like when I would OCD while kissing her and keep kissing her over and over.
x.x
Hehehe It's good for consistency, that's for sure. I wouldn't get rid of it if the world paid me ๐
xXerisx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:24 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Well, some of the OCD things I used to do when I was younger has faded. Im only left with the obnoxious, useless OCD rituals now. The reading thing has stopped and that was, arguably, the only part of my OCD that bettered me in some way.
Hey friend :D we're about the same age (I'm 28) and I got OCD when I was 7 as well, and have been legally disabled by it for 5 years now. I totally feel you on not wanting to tell people. Not sure how well you're doing from your post, but hang in there and keep fighting. I'm in my 4th treatment attempt and I'm taking it seriously now and I've already lost a few points on the Y-BOCS. Don't give up ever!
xXerisx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Thanks! You too!
Its super tough and when you go through an OCD attack, its like living in your own little hell (especially when its happening all day).
If anyone is curious to what OCD is really like, the episode of scrubs with Dr. Kevin Casey is pretty damn spot on.
Example:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIyy9TW3ZCQ
Does a great job conveying how people with severe OCD feel; the outbursts/screaming during an OCD attack and him wanting to hide it from people when it gets really bad is spot on.
Coincidentally, I was just about to ask if "OCD attack" is even a word anyone uses to describe episodes and the first video that came up while searching for that link - using the words 'OCD Scrubs' - was:
"SCRUBS Michael J. Fox as Dr. Kevin Casey (OCD attack)";
so, I guess that answered that question.
I keep being told to get put on disability and I should but I guess I decided to let my life go to hell (Employers aren't crazy with you OCD'ing in the bathroom for an hour, everyday).
In order to get disability you need to constantly be going into therapy and I guess I decided screwing up my life was a better route.
Im going to get started with treatment soon because I really need to.
I was on medication but never really got too far into therapy because I stopped going after some shitty life events.
I will get short periods where it calms down a bit - enough to where I don't want to blow my brains out, everyday - and I will not bother getting help, and then kicks up again and with a vengeance (since Im not used to the severity after having one of these rare calm periods).
This is the first time in about 8 years it has been this calm and it probably has a lot to do with my anxiety being down after getting out of an abusive relationship (less anxiety makes it easier to end OCD attacks quickly) but I I've had 8 years to try to get help and I didn't and that's on me. Drugs were a better route.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
endthestigma !
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
xXerisx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:50:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
kryren ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:00:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. My BFF has (thankfully) mild OCD. She was told to start using a code word, different each day, that means she complied with her compulsion and to stop worrying about it. If she starts to get the compulsion she says her word of the day. Example: Today's word/phrase is 'apple juice'. Yesterday it was 'martini'. Today's word/phrase is different than yesterday so she must have checked the stove, the door, and turned off the light in the kitchen. "But I have to.. no. apple juice." And she's ok and doesn't panic.
I can tell she's having a bad day when I get a random drink name texted to me out of no where. But, I know to text back a bit later in the day "what's your phrase?" just to give her a random prompt to remember she has one today so it's going to be ok.
yup. at the worst point I started taking pictures of the door locks, the stove being off, etc. just to try and stop myself from getting up to check yet again.
Comowl ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:13:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did that work? I can't imagine it would work for me. Because I fucking KNOW I locked it/turned it off/whatever. I KNOW I did. But some part of my brain is screaming at me that I didn't and my dog is going to get out of the door, or someone will walk in, or my house will burn down. That's an interesting way to try and convince yourself that you did it. So I'm curious if it works for you.
It definitely helped, but no, I didn't fully get rid of that fear. You have to combine it with forcing yourself to just try and get through the worry and let your house burn down or the dog escape. It's like you know you locked it, and now you have some sort of evidence that you did when your brain insists you didn't. And unfortunately it doesn't do anything for turning the lights on and off a certain number of times with each hand, checking the room in a specific order, and kissing your dog 32 times in a specific pattern.
Suduki ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:01:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Compulsive Behaviour != OCD. People should learn the difference.
This thread is actually bothering me, there are many forms to OCD. Like intrusive thoughts, nobody cares to do their own research. All these Reddit white knights talking about OCD like they know anything about it. Shits patronizing.
This comment really hit home for me. Not being able to sleep because I was too busy staring at a section of my wall, blinking a random amount of times that felt right to me just so I could close my eyes. Then almost immediately after feeling uneasy for no reason and having to do it all over again. Standing at my bedside table for hours placing my phone down and picking it up and putting it back down, all to start the wall staring bullshit again.
It took me years to manage my OCD, and I'm in a much better place now. I know the people that think they are OCD because they like to be neat might not know what it really means to be like this but it takes everything in me not to correct them when they say that.
mfisch4 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:42:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be really bad with door locks, light switches, and windows. Countless nights spent checking and re-checking. Flipping the light switch a set number of times, and if I went over, I'd have to start again. Being in bed, knowing I did all the checking, only to doubt myself, or worse, hear a noise, and have to go through it all over again.
I'm better now, I usually only check everything once before bed, never more than twice, and I don't flip switches unless needed. I still do tucking in and goodnights in a certain order with my kids, but that's more habit than compulsion.
Ok can someone explain this to me, because this sounds very familiar. I sometimes check my alarm clock like 10 times in a row. I see it says the alarm will ring after 6 hours and i still think something is wrong. Or i keep checking for mail from my boss and i don't see any. Or i am just SURE i will get fired for no reason. Am i just having plain ol' casual paranoia or is it something else?
SirChasm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:44:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you find it's having a serious negative effect on your life, go see a professional.
I'm definitely not OCD, and I have no idea how bad it can get, but I definitely have that "I have to double-triple....maybe quadruple check to see if the door is locked before I leave the house" thing. It's mildly inconvenient for me, but I could see how it could get infuriating. One thing that help me out a bunch was, after locking my door, hold onto the locked doorknob and do something random. Bust out a dance move, bite your finger, shake your head violently. Whenever I get that "oh god, did I lock my door?!" moment later I remember "oh yeah, I did, because my finger still has a tooth mark in it."
Good God that hit close to home. I was diagnosed with OCD two years ago but had it for over a decade.
It's bullshit how people say "im OCD lol". And then the same people who claim they have OCD humiliate people that were actually diagnosed with OCD. The problem comes not from using the term wrong, since a lot of people try justifying misusing the word by saying things like "but we use words like 'lame' and 'moron' wrong". Misusing the word OCD by itself may not be that bad, but since having OCD or any other mental illness is still socially unacceptable and there are sanctions for people who have OCD, it's not fair for those who have OCD.
slade357 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh maybe I do have ocd then. I do something pretty exactly like that but with my alarm and checking the locked door. Then I also do this weird thing where if I touch something on one side of my body I have to do the same to the other side in exactly in the same spot and if I miss slightly I have to keep trying till I get it right. Then I have to make up for all the places I hit when I missed on the other side. Anyway it just looks like me trying to tap some awkward part of my body against something for a few minutes until someone calls me out.
Yuddis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did not even know this, however I FUCKING HATE when people say they have OCD when they obviously do not
My sister used to take 5 pictures of every door lock on the house, every closed window, and 5 of the oven to make sure it was locked, every night. When I was younger I never understood why and thought she was just being weird/silly. In fact she didn't even know why she did it really until she saw a doctor about it and was diagnosed.
It sucks to be depressed and people are always saying how something "made them depressed." Really? Titanic made you want to lay in bed even though it's a beautiful day out? Or having No motivation to do anything, even eat because you just can't seem to want to survive anymore. Fuck you it's called being sad. Stop being over dramatic
Eh it's just like people calling each other retarded or using literally wrong. Eventually it's going to have a second meaning of "someone who's particular with their things"
Bergauk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OCD can be a lot of things to be honest. It's a pretty wide spectrum.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reading that; I may have a hint of OCD after all. Not something I didnt expect. It often comes as a nice extra with Asperger's.
Reminds me of people who forget something once and respond "ugh I'm so ADD today"...... No you're fucking aren't. You forgot, that's all. You didn't lose your wallet 9 times in 1 week. You haven't had to have a system for every little thing in your life just to not lose your job. You don't have 90 different new project or hobbies that are 30% complete. You just forgot and are taking a word you heard once and are using it to describe yourself incorrectly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... holy shit. That sounds like me back in middleschool/ early highschool. I still get anxious sometimes and have those thoughts but they are manageable. Had no idea that was what OCD is...
Note. I'm not diagnosing myself just surprised that that was what OCD is actually like.
VAPossum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OCD is having your brain decide everyday objects are incredible threats and amazingly disgusting. OCD is having your brain replay those things over and over and over and over for you, whether you like it or not. OCD is having to avoid things you used to love because the OCD is in charge.
OCD is not "I have to make my bed every morning." (Unless you're convinced Moscow will explode if you don't.)
I have OCD. My mom said that when I was a kid I hid all the knives under furniture and stuff because apparently I was worried about someone getting hurt. I have no memory of this, but it bothers me to think about
My cousin has OCD and this describes him perfectly. His condition manifests most often when he gives someone instructions. For example, one time he and I were adding on to the deck at his mom's house. When we finished building it we were going to paint the whole thing so it would look the same. I must have gotten five different calls and fifteen text messages between the time I left for Lowes to pick up the paint and the time I got back (about 20 minutes total). Every one said, "Make sure you get this exact color of paint."
And when he gives directions in a car, he gets all worked up. You have to make sure you say things like, "So I turn left at Main St, right" or "I need to turn right in two blocks, right?" All the time to keep him relaxed.
I respect his girlfriend a ton because she has infinite patience and knows how to relax him as much as she can while enduring the stuff that he can't help but get stressed about.
TypoHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What your describing on the first line is more like OCPD, my wife has that and while it's not OCD it shares many of the symptoms. It's still terrible but I wouldn't want to wish OCD on anyone. So people need to stop using it lightly.
audiguy7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just like when people say "haha, I'm so ADD" ADD is not feeling hyper for a few minutes. It's being late to work every day, and getting fired for it, and then having it happen at the next job, too, because you can't get out of the house without forgetting 50 things. You lose your keys several times a day. You're constantly pissing everyone off because you are always late. Your house is messy as fuck, and you spend 3 hours cleaning it, and it looks pretty much the same as when you started, somehow. You interrupt people, even your boss, without realizing it, and then feel like shit when you do realize it. Your kids suffer because you forget to bring them to their sports physical, dentists appointments, and forget to sign them up for soccer and they miss the tryouts. You forget to pick them up at school because you didn't realize you were at trader joes for 2hours, and the front office has been calling you for a half hour to come get them, but you couldn't hear them because you forgot your phone on the kitchen counter. You get reamed out by the office staff because this has happened several times before. It's fucking humiliating. So, yeah, I can relate. I hear people say the" I'm soooo OCD/ADD" thing all the time. People that say have no clue how awful these things can be.
I'm paraphrasing here, but a thought experiment that really made sense to me and got me to stop making light of OCD:
(1) Take a piece of paper and write down the name of everyone you love and care about. Your Mum and Dad, your brothers and sisters, your best friend, your pets. Your 10 closest and most dear.
(2) Then turn the paper over and write down very clearly "I want all of these people to die right now".
Unless you're a psychopath, you will feel uneasy with step 2. You might not even do it. You know it's silly, and your rational mind is correct when it reminds you that writing something on a piece of paper doesn't make things happen. But you still feel a compulsion to not write those words. Maybe you'd write something else instead, or just put the pencil down. Maybe you'll overcome the compulsion and complete the task. But the compulsion is there.
That feeling, that conflict between your rational mind and your emotional state, is somewhat akin to what someone with OCD feels. The key differences are that (1) the feeling is 100x stronger, sometimes causing panic or paralysis because it just feels like a life-and-death situation; and (2) the feeling is triggered by mundane things like a door lock or stepping on a crack in the footpath.
Anyone that says they have something without a legitimate diagnosis can fuck off. You think there's a possibility you have something? Okay, cool. Say you believe you might have something and go get it checked out. Don't run around saying you have something when you most likely don't because it causes conflict with what people think of you and of the illness. It's extremely frustrating for us that do have disabilities of all kinds and not enough people realize that.
K3R3G3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are different types of OCD, with different levels of severeness.
I have been diagnosed with OCD and I like everything to be neat and tidy, but assholes on the internet always get butthurt and say "YOU DONT HAVE OCD IF YOU ONLY WANT THINGS TO BE NEAT" every time I mention that.
Sorry that you wind up as collateral in all this. The "neatness" stereotype of OCD exists for a reason - it CAN be a symptom. It just often isn't, and when it is, it's more than just being slightly annoyed that the covers of two books don't line up or something. When people rage at people not having OCD, they're talking about people who clearly, clearly don't and are using the term to describe trivial things without knowing how debilitating a disorder it can be.
Thats the thing. I have OCD and it only falls within the neatness category. I get more annoyed by people who tell me i dont have OCD like its a fact, thwn people comparing their tidyness to people with ocd (which is exactly what i am)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the light-switch thing. It's always mentioned when someone on reddit says "OCD."
I have OCD, but the most frustrating thing for me is when I try to describe it to my family and they all go "oh lol that's just normal!!" And discredit me and my experience.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have OCD. Thank you for getting that it's not some cute explanation for daft behavior.
I used to think that I had OCD (still do sometimes) because I kind of do some of things listed there - repeatedly checking the front door even though I know it's locked, checking that everything is in my backpack even though I know nothing will have moved (I usually end up checking 3 times in a row, trying to cut that down), or making sure the lights are off.
I mostly just diagnose it as paranoia to myself, though.
YES! I dated a guy with OCD for a short while. He had to count every stair on the staircase before he could walk up. Until you have to stop at every single flight of stairs to count it (or something eually as life fuckery duckery) you don't fucking know and you shouldn't say shit.
We broke up because he didn't like the pattern of a dress I bought. Life is not easy on these people.
When I was a child I had to get into my bed from the left side. If any part of my body touched the right side edge I had to get out and get in from the left side again. There was also a compulsion to wind a pocketwatch. This made for some frustrating nights for years. I'm not sure if OCD can be temporary or stress induced but it was such a weird set of "rules" thats what it seemed like.
People often have compulsive behaviors or tendencies that, while irrational and intrusive, either don't last, don't have a strong enough feeling to require they be done, or just don't negatively impact their daily life.
I wash my face six to ten times a day, sometimes many more. I sometimes feel weird and unclean if I'm not able to, sometimes quite strongly, but I just deal with it and the feeling fades after a while. OCD? Nope. Compulsive tendency? Yep.
There are many degrees of OCD and the one you describe is extreme. OCD manifests itself in many different ways, so just because you don't think someone has it or had it bad doesn't mean they don't .
Whoa, you know I didn't fully understand when my psychologist said I had slight OCD (I go mainly for anxiety issues) but I do some of these things, although I have gotten better. I guess what I'm trying to say is thanks for sharing that cause now that i understand it, I can do what I do with my anxiety, which is accept that I have it and try to improve upon it more.
I read this wrong at first, and felt guilty about thinking I have mild OCD because I cannot go to bed without checking every door and outlet (even when my partner has already checked them) and having to pee even though I literally just went 2 minutes ago. But then I read it properly. I've never officially been diagnosed but it's an urge I can't fight. It doesn't interfere with my daily life (aside from going to bed 30 minutes late) so I'm not worried at the moment.
Pretty sure OCD is whenever obsession and compulsion negatively affects your life.
You don't have to be the stereotypical hand wash bleeder, or whatever the movies tell you. It could be a lesser degree like checking your alarm clock 15 times before being able to sleep. You are obsessed with something irrationally, and feel a compulsion to perform an action regarding it.
It's a disorder... Like all disorders there is a spectrum of severity.
Dathan88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:54 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm diagnosed with OCD, but I never knew anyone had it this bad. Then again, I take anti-anxiety meds for my chronic anxiety, so I guess that helps with it. I feel sorry for anyone who has it that bad.
I learned about OCD in an issue of Sports Illustrates. Former Lakers and Cavaliers head Coach Larry Brown would wash his hands a crazy amount of times among other habits.
Comowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, you just described a basic night for me. Well, at least with the lock-checking and making sure absolutely nothing can fall on my dog and/or he can't eat anything that will kill him. God it's fucking exhausting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES YES YES
I NEED to have the "right" thing from any box (Fruit snacks/granola bars/etc) or it will taste terrible, and I need the SMALL fork or I won't feel right eating.
Shit. I've honestly never thought of it before, I really should stop saying it.
ssovm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:44:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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jswan28 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:37:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the major difference between OCD and your examples is that people almost never claim any of those afflictions. People say they have OCD all the time when they really don't. Flippantly claiming to have OCD when you like for your pencils to be in a straight line makes light of how terrible and debilitating OCD really is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First of all, OCD didn't become "more sacred." Nobody should be using mental disorders lightly, in my opinion anyway. But OCD is unique in two ways:
1) Thanks to the casual use of "I'm sooo OCD," nobody takes OCD seriously.
People know that bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, insanity, etc. are all legitimate, serious, and hurtful conditions. People do not appear to understand the same thing about OCD. I would say bipolar disorder is the disorder that faces this the most along with OCD, but I still think OCD is worse about this. There are thousands of people who genuinely think they have OCD because they like their pencils straight. They have no idea what the disorder actually is, and when they hear people say they have it, they automatically tack on, "Oh me too!" without taking a minute to consider that what they think is OCD is not even close to actual OCD. Which brings me to my next point...
2) There's a fucking word for what you mean. Why do people feel the need to use "OCD" when the phrase "anal-retentive" is what you're looking for? You have no need to make light of a disorder when there's already a word for the feeling you're trying to describe. It's just linguistic laziness.
Just because we integrated other disorders into our common vernacular does not mean we need to CONTINUE to do it. Whenever people try to say that OCD isn't the only disorder treated this way, I have to ask, why does that mean we should allow it? If anything, we should be fighting to stop this from continuing in the future so we can become a better educated society. Our flippant attitude towards mental health is running us into the ground.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can understand that but for me it just irks me. I feel like no one should define themselves by any sort of disorder/disease they have, mental or physical. And mostly it bothers me because it's the people who do not have these disorders who say it.
Well there are plenty of people who have bipolar disorder that say that they ARE bipolar. For some they view it as big part of them (which it is) that will never go away so they say that they are. Another way of seeing it as a physical disorder, when someone says they are paraplegic you don't think of them saying that they suffer from paraplegia. No one should have to define them as a disorder but some embrace it because of how much it effects their lives.
Anyways its a bit of rant, and I totally understand the sentiment and I definitely agree on being bothered by people who claim they have it but don't. It belittles the disorder because they are seen as so normal and when you have people who actually have it they are seen as people who can't control themselves.
Totally fair point, and i think part of it for me, as silly as i think it may seem to others, is the grammer in it. When someone says they are OCD all i can hear is someone saying, i am obsessive compulsive disorder. It is completely grammatically incorrect and makes me cringe. And again i hate labels like that. I didn't tell many of the people i know about having some issues of my own because i didnt want to be labeled and i hate hearing it.
And i totally get acknowledging and embracing it as a part of who you are and what makes you the person you are. I just don't like hearing it said as a simple label of what someone is because it in no way is. Sorry for my own rant.
Yeah it really depends on what it is, cause I don't break down the acronym so "I am OCD" sounds fine and "I am bipolar" is common place, however imagine if people said "I am depression" or "I am dementia", grammatically it makes no sense but it sounds fine so people say it.
On the other not I am in the same boat, nobody knows about my issues. I don't want a label either because 1 of 2 things will happen in my eyes, either people think I am lying and doing it for attention or that I am a freak or dangerous or something like that.
Same here. I didnt want to be thought of differently by my teammates or friends so i kept those things about me a secret. Thankfully for me it had to become known within my circle and forced me to get help. It really did make life better for me.
As someone with ADD, this drives me nuts! "oh, I'm so ADD" or "I'm being so ADD right now."
It bothers me for two reasons, though. First, no, you aren't a mental disorder. Second, you don't have ADD, you don't know what it's like, don't trivialize something that is real. Yes, it is over diagnosed, but it is a real thing and it sucks.
\rant
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:13:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also the "opposite" of this:
1: "I have OCD."
2: "That's not so bad."
Very simplified version, but this happens to a few people I know. An acquaintance, or maybe the boss, will find out they have OCD and just treat it like they're a neat person, completely downplaying the seriousness of the disease and not taking it as a reason for an event (not going to work, working slower than others, or not being able to leave the house for a social event).
That shit bothers me more than the above, but they're both pretty fucking bad.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:49:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
guy at work said that while standing next to me and i replied "oh when were you diagnosed?" and he said that you don't need to be diagnosed, OCD is just when you want everything to be clean. o.O
Yeah... far too many people like to label themselves with serious conditions and make it a kinda "quirk" about themselves. Like a guy I know claims to have OCD. He doesn't, he just likes things a certain way. He won't have a mental breakdown if I move his cup to the other side of his desk. He doesn't turn the light switch to "off" 37 times when he leaves the room.
The one that really gets me though is when people say they're insomniacs. Mostly because I actually AM an insomniac. I sleep less than 2 hours every day on average, and so far have had no luck solving it, even with professional medical help. It's hell. Absolute hell. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Liking to stay up late is NOT INSOMNIA.
As a mental health nurse this pisses me off to no end. We don't say we have full blown AIDS when we just have a cold. Why the fuck is it okay to trivialize a debilitating disorder?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm depressed because (insert minor mishap)!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's caused by my ADHD
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I mention that I have OCD, I feel the need to mention that I have actually been diagnosed with it so people don't think I'm throwing the term around.
Oh my lord, I cannot tell you how many times I've had to explain to people that OCD can potentially ruin the lives of those afflicted if not treated.
You like to have a very tidy desk? Big fucking whoop, try obsessively washing your hands under scalding water until your hands are blistered and bloody. That's OCD. Not straightened pencils, not aligned desks. It's booping the wall 147 times until you 'Get it right,' even though it's 2 am and you want to go to bed.
Look, if you were really that OCD you couldn't even say what you are. Obsessive compulsive disorder? The word disorder has no place in this disease, its a Condition of Compulsive Orderliness, or CCO. And therefore the letters are even in the proper order like they should be.
I actually have generalized anxiety disorder and HAVE to take my prescription daily or else I have perpetual anxiety attacks. Yet I still say shit like "I'm just neurotic like that" because I think that talking openly about one's disorders will help decrease the stigma.
And for anyone else, please let's not turn this into a pissing contest about who's more mentally fucked up.
"I'm depressed". Just feeling sad about normal life events isn't in any way depression. Actual clinical depression isn't about feeling sad that your boyfriend is being an arse, or falling out with your friends and feeling miserable. It's a proper chemical imbalance in your brain that you can't control and generally fucks your life up until you get help.
I get so fucking irritated with people using 'depression' as an interchangeable term for being a bit miserable about life.
Whenever someone says they're a tad OCD or whatever variation, I always say, "Oh, do you wash your hands 100 times a day because they smell like your mother too?"
As someone who struggles with actual OCD, diagnosed and everything, this pisses me off to know end. Particularly when it's family saying "you know what it's like", yeah I do but you don't. Talk to me when you spend 20 minutes pacing back and forth between your front and back doors locking and relocking them.
Just curious if someone were to be on the spectrum, or actually diagnosed with OCD, or ADD or something like that, wouldn't it not be right to hate them because that is a part of who they are? I mean I don't "flaunt" it but I have adult ADD and my therapist can see I have had some other developmental problems potentially stemming from my mom as she was very sick having me, she almost died after I was born and I had breathing problems as a child as my dad was a big smoker, which is believed to have delayed my brains development in some ways. I understand you care about political correctness or you wouldn't bring up this point, but as someone who knows what it means to struggle with it, sometimes the jokes are a relief to me, does that mean you'll dislike me too?
Comma20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My answer is "No, you have obsessions and compulsions, but it's not a disorder. Yet. I hope it never becomes a disorder."
No you are not. You ignorant slut. It's called having a preference. If you were actually OCD you wouldn't treat the situation so fucking lightly. I really hate that shit.
That's cuz nobody knows what anal-retentive means.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So much yes. Girlfriend of 2 years is actually diagnosed with OCD and the shit that comes with that is so tough for her to deal with sometimes, and can really break her down of she cannot get it the exact way it needs to happen. I rip on people who say stupid shit like this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit users are sooo OCD about this
Isord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can somebody explain to me why this is any different than saying "I'm starving"?
I work at a hotel and we had a guest there who had her small dog with her (we allow pets for a fee) who she WOULD NOT STOP LETTING IT LICK HER MOUTH. It was the most disgusting thing. She kept going on and on "oh he's my baby, he's my world!" While this make out session happened. Afterwards she demanded some cleaning supplies since her room would not be provided housekeeping during her stay (under 8 days no house keeping at this hotel) We couldn't let her for safety bull shit reasons and she flipped out. "omg no I'm OCD for real and need to clean my room, can't do dirt, I'm legit OCD I need those cleaning supplies I need some comet I'm for real OCD."
As the dog. Was licking. Her face.
Fuck off.
G8kpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love my wife, but a couple weeks ago, she said "We're all a little OCD"
I said "NO... no we're not."
she started to say again "well, we are a little bit..."
I stopped her and said "being overly neat, or anal about something does not make you OCD, wanting things in a specific place does not make you OCD, if those items are in the wrong place, it does not suddenly cripple your daily life. OCD is a condition, you do not have it"
she didn't continue, and I'm not sure if she realised she was wrong, or just didn't want to argue.
caneras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OCD should not just be synonymous with organized. It's infuriating. The same goes for saying using depressed interchangeably with sad. Yes people with OCD can be organized and depressed people are often sad, but it's like how not every rectangle is a square.
Geekfest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Technically it is OCPD, and no, you're not."
Cpapa97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this one so much xD especially considering I'm actually OCD. I hear it all the time, and usually I can tell they're convinced themselves that they're OCD about something to justify them being domineering assholes and forcing others to abide by something they're particular picky about. Like they don't know the true horror of OCD xD
Although a lot of people do it at one point or another so it's not that big of a deal I guess xD
This annoys me so much. I know people with OCD. Just because you don't like your desk messy or your book is crooked doesn't mean you have OCD. My friend can't go to sleep before he locks and unlocks all the doors in his house twice. He can't help but do it. He has OCD.
nuzzget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. I hate when people through that around. At least research OCD and have it make sense.
Bman8444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has a dad who is actually diagnosed with OCD and Bi-polar disorder, I fucking loath people who say this shit. They have no idea that their little pet peeves and mood swings don't equate to the actual struggle of people who have these disorders.
I hear versions of this all the freaking time... "That's just my OCD kicking in".
NO. NO IT ISN'T. You don't have OCD, motherfucker.
Macfrogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not until you've repeatedly washed your hands until they bled, you're not. Or were an hour late for work because every time you locked your door to leave your house, it "just wasn't right" so you had to unlock it and lock it again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this one specifically because the syntax is wrong. OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Saying "I'm so OCD" is like saying "I'm so depression" or "I'm so flu".
Also, because no you are not, you are just tidy.
QSquared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe they mean draconian or anal-retentive when most people say this.
I was talking to a beautiful human being the other day and in my head I was thinking "this is the moment I've been waiting for, my whole life I asked the world to give me someone who was funny, smart, witty, on my wavelength who can make me happy and I though the world was fucking me with, but look at this universe, you sneaky bastard you, I gave up on the idea and that's the moment you make me drop the piece of paper in my pocket so this magnificent creature who was made just for me would pick it up, tap me on the shoulder and pass it to me and you made us walk in the same direction so we had to talk, I didn't ask for them to be beautiful but they are and I didn't ask for them to sound like an angel but they do and here we are, we just so happen to be waiting in the same line together, this long line, I never thought I would fall in love but here I am on today of all days, I found my match, he's mine, this is love at first sight"
Then when we got to the front of this line I took a pump of the hand sanitizer on the wall when he said "Oh I should use that too, I'm so OCD like that, hey we should go for a coffee after we're done at the counter"
And I said, "actually, I'm busy" and went home and cried myself to sleep.
I actually have ocd and it bothers me when people act proud of their "ocd tendencies" or whatever. I would give my right arm to not have to deal with this illness.
Bonolio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are not OCD, you are just fucking anal retentive.
Aipre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer to say that I'm CDO. Honestly, it irks me seeing the letters not in alphabetical order.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have ADHD and OCD"
It's physically impossible to have both. You're not special. I'm glad you self diagnosed yourself.
I work at a grocery store cashiering and bagging groceries and omg so many customers who put their food on the belt orderly have to comment about how they're "ocd" about it.... So you put your cold stuff together and produce with with other produce? That doesn't make you ocd bro, its just common sense!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:01 on August 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit having ocd and hearing people say that pisses me off to the moon and back
Thewy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, we got it the first hundred times someone ever complained about that phrase. Your quota's been filled for the lifetime.
Seameese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God yes.
However this goes both ways.
I actually have OCD. The amount of times people have assumed I'm doing this because I'm not acting like Monk or walking around with tissue boxes on my feet is even more offensive than someone saying that.
That complaint always silently amuses me since it is "OCD people being OCD about people saying OCD" within the context of the usage. I've also always interpretted it as deliberate hyperbole like when people say "I'm a moron" they don't literally mean they have the IQ of a 12 year old, or "I'm going crazy", "I'm gonna murder someone".
For people with OCD, I understand your annoyance. But the use always seems relatively legitimate to me.
I've been diagnosed with OCD. My mom will periodically talk about how my sister is "sOoOOo OCD" because she likes to stick to a schedule. No mom, me crying and washing my hands repeatedly because I'm terrified of getting sick is soOoOoO much more OCD than that.
smpl-jax ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:42:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm serially rapey like that, lol my b
trublood ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:21:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I hate this. My husband's cousin says this a lot on Facebook, usually accompanied by a picture of a well-organized shelf or something. I always want to say something, because it trivializes what I go through every day (I have the compulsions without the obsessions, so not quite OCD, but still very annoying). Being organized isn't the same as having to blink an even number of times when looking at something you like and an odd number of times when looking at something you don't like, dammit!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:30:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What I say is "I just have really bad OCD". Is that okay?
R1_TC ยท 6615 points ยท Posted at 15:16:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so random!"
StealthNL ยท 3182 points ยท Posted at 16:13:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you, no you're not, there's no way to verify those numbers were generated truly or even pseudo-randomly. Fuck right off with this integer bullshit.
There's no way to verify anything at all being random. For all we know, the universe is deterministic and everything just obeys the laws of physics and acts exactly as it should in their context.
Edit: I am wrong.
SyKoHPaTh ยท 2758 points ยท Posted at 17:28:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The die will always have a predictable outcome based on shape, texture, the surface you roll them on, the position they start in, wind, air quality, etc. The best thing to do is have an evenly weighted set and toss it across the room as hard as you can. If there is a person across the room and you nail them in the forehead with the roll you get an automatic crit. true story.
VefoCo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:15:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For whatever reason your post has made me realize I've been reading xkcd as xkd all these years. I mean I knew it was always 4 letters and contained a c, I just never said it properly in my brain.
I think its more a case of it not being "proper" than it not being legal.
Like a char means character so it "should" represent a character of text.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC, since char can be either signed or unsigned it's generally better just to use unsigned char or signed char explicitly for numbers and use char strictly for character values.
Tannz0rz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's no "better" or "worse" to it; it's a data type that occupies a byte of space.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's sort of a naive look at it: if you don't know whether the default char type is signed or unsigned, expressions like
char x = 128
can later cause problems. If you're using x as a number rather than a character constant, then later comparisons such as
(x > 127)
or even
(x == 128)
will differ depending on if char is signed or unsigned. There's a reason that the GNU C reference manual says that you should strictly use the char type for holding ASCII character constants.
Tannz0rz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a given property of signed-ness. Naรฏve is inappropriately handling a block of memory while ignorant of this. Such an occurrence sounds hack-ish in nature.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it's a given property of signed-ness. Wouldn't that imply it would be better design to make your intention explicit by using char for character constants and unsigned/signed char for unsigned/signed byte values?
finally runs after the try-catch block whether it succeeded or failed, although in this case it's kind of moot, since the catch block ends execution of the function anyways...
However in production code, it's difficult to guarantee that you're going to properly handle every possible error case.
If you know that you will catch and handle every error, then the finally block is superfluous. However, if there is a possibility that you won't catch an exception, the finally block comes into play.
Normally you would put your housekeeping code in the finally block - that way, even if you encounter an error that you can't fix, the housekeeping code still gets run before your exception continues up the stack. This could be things like closing file handles, closing network sockets, freeing memory, etc., that you still want to do, even if something went wrong.
Actually, finally has a very interesting property that it ALWAYS runs, ever AFTER the method returns.
At some depth in the recursion, there will be insufficient memory free for the next call to rand. This will throw a stack overflow exception, which will be caught and make the method return 0 instead. The finally block runs after the "return 0", and changes the return value.
I think the idea of " return num" was that num would be some sort of indeterminate number after the SO exception, but I suspect it'll most likely also be 0.
I don't know how that language works, but I have the distinct idea that it works better than the Apple Basic (We were working with Apple 2GS computers) "random" number generator I was taught in 8th grade.
I just remember that if you defined the range as 1000, you'd always get the same results in order when you ran it. If you defined the range as 100, same thing - but different numbers from the 1000-range.
I made a "3 number lottery" for some kind of project and the teacher thought it was great. I fucking hated it because I had a page of what numbers would "win" given how many times it had run. I should've sold tickets to the other gullible students.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually just googled this and before someone walks me through why I'm wrong, here's a link I found describing step by step (with java) how to run a Monte Carlo Pi simulation to test randomness using laws of geometry to measure many points in a unit circle. Method primarily used to calculate the value of pi, apparently. I do keep compiling 4...
kuilin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
//chosen by fair dice roll. guaranteed to be random.
That actually depends on how you define "Random"! Sure, if you define randomness as being non-deterministic, then it's very difficult to verify randomness in anything except a quantum context.
However, algorithmic information theory uses a definition of randomness that's totally compatible with determinism, and (in my opinion) matches intuitions about randomness much more closely. In algorithmic information theory, a sequence is said to be 'random' if it's shorter than the shortest turing machine (as encoded by some universal turing machine) that generates that sequence.
Or, in less formal terms, something is random if it is no more complex than its simplest description. So the string "ababababababababab" is quite non-random, because it can be described quite concisely as "ab x 11". On the other hand the sequence "a;sdka;oksfdgwji" can't be described nearly as easily - in fact, the best way to describe the sequence is to type out the entire sequence.
This is used a lot in fields like artificial intelligence, where "Solomonoff Induction" is used to weight hypotheses by their complexity - the simpler an explanation for something, the more likely it is. It's basically a mathematically precise and souped up version of Occam's Razor that lets you build AIs.
That's interesting, thanks. Still, I was thinking of another kind of randomness I guess.
For example, if you have a time machine, and go back to the past x times to watch some guy flip a coin, if the universe has any element of randomness, eventually the result will be different (assuming you as an observer are perfectly isolated from the system you are observing, and yes I know that's impossible, but we're also talking about time travel), but if the universe is deterministic, then the result will be alwyas the same, no matter how many times you go back and rewatch it.
It's pattern recognition (cause and effect), all the same thing.
In your example, is it the universe that determines the coin flip or is it the physical properties of the coin, air pressure/density, and the strength of the person flipping?
At what point does our understanding of cause and effect become unable to predict the observer effect? Does the time traveler in the same room change the air current enough to affect the flip? Does his mere presence in the timeline affect the collective consciousness enough for him to subconsciously change the strength put into the flip?
Do you mean something like an intelligence, or just the hardwired laws of this universe? If so, the second one.
Also, yes, all those variables and potentially more. Properties of the coin, the air, the force applied to it, the gravity of every object in the universe that affects it, light hitting the coin, thoughts in the brain of animals and people all over the world caused by electric signals in the brain that cause a slight temperature rise that causes movement of air and then wind, all of that.
At what point does our understanding of cause and effect become unable to predict the observer effect?
I can't answer that, I can only guess. I think it's impossible for us to know the value of each single variable in the universe.
Even if we had a computer that could simulate the universe exactly, and it knew every variable, then it would need to simulate itself an infinite number of times, and it would never end processing the simulation, even with infinite power and memory.
Does the time traveler in the same room change the air current enough to affect the flip?
Of course, if the time travel were in the same room it would screw everything up, that's why in my first comment I specified that the observer is perfectly isolated from the observed system.
Does his mere presence in the timeline affect the collective consciousness enough for him to subconsciously change the strength put into the flip?
I don't know about the collective consciousness thing, but I think the mere existence of the concept of this traveller in the mind of an insect could alter that timeline.
I'm not even talking about the physical presence of a whole person, just move around an electron from point A to point B in a grain of sand and you've got a different universe.
The presence of a person that shouldn't be there would be huge.
Well, we would have to resolve the nature of time travel before we could even attempt to understand causality as it is not feasible for the observer to be completely isolated. As even registering the light to view something will block it from where it was oriiginally going.
There are two major views on the structure of the timeline, singular and parallel. Depending on which you prescribe to, directly affects how much of the universe is predetermined.
Singular, things are predetermined and when traveling through time, you would "drop out" and then "back in". So, your two selves would be independent of each other, so if you kill your grandfather, you're still fine. Terminator 2 style.
Parallel, there are infinite branches to cover every single decision and possibility and if you travel through time, you are still continuing your own localized timeline, so if you change something in the past, it would have an immediate effect on your branch. So if you kill your grandfather, you die. Looper style.
There are combinations of the two theories like in Back to the Future and Timecop, but the fundamental difference is in how would information be transmitted back to observer (ie. how will the regular person ever know?).
I personally choose to believe in the single timestream as it's more whimsical to believe there are time travelers all around just hanging out. Also, due to the fact that if infinite possibilities, we can have bad luck and be living in a universe where the people smart enough to develop time travel are hit by a bus or stuck in poverty.
Blackers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It seems that in the quantic world, things can be completely random. not sure tho
IMO that's not a very interesting kind of randomness. Things like "Having a time machine" are implausible and quite hard to define. It seems like that sort of randomness boils down to "Something is random if you know everything about the universe, except this one thing". We already know that knowing everything about the universe is impossible, thanks to the uncertainty principle. So it seems effectively impossible to know if something is random in this sense or not.
On the other hand, the information theoretic definition is both eminently verifiable, makes no metaphysical claims about time machines or universal knowledge, and applies to more than just flipping quantum bits. That's the beauty of Bayesian probability IMO - once you accept that randomness isn't some metaphysical property but just another way of talking about uncertainty (which exists everywhere, including deterministic systems), then a lot of these conversations become less far fetched and much more intuitive.
You're right. Mine was more of a "sci-fi" thought exercise than actual science.
Umbrall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coin flips aren't particularly random, they're determined by how the coin is flipped, where in the short-term quantum fluctuations don't really play a large part
Exactly. God, thank you for saying what we were all thinking. Man.
OldWolf2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:38:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Random" and "deterministic" are not incompatible. The distribution of digits in pi is something that is both random (so far as we know) and of course, determined and computable.
That depends very much on what your definition of random is. There's strong arguments for the digits of pi being pseudo-random. I'm not certain that there's a suitable definition for random that would say the digits of pi are truly random unless you want to better elaborate your definitions.
xBraino ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:15:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
actually its quiet the opposite, on quantum scale, everything is random (and according to todays physics "true random"), meaning your deterministic everyday life is just statistics with an enormous number of events, making it seem deterministic. This makes certain things, like the clicking of a geiger counter unpredictable and therefore true random.
I am aware of the randomness of certain quantum effects, but I wonder if it's true that they are really unpredictable, or that we just don't know how yet.
TL;DR: Nope, we proved that it's actually random and completely non-deterministic. There is a small caveat about locality but you don't need to worry about that unless you're considering faster-than-light interactions (i.e. don't worry about that).
Nope, we proved that it's actually random and completely non-deterministic
This is not proven and cannot be proven. The proof you are referring to proves that there cannot be a local hidden variable explanation. But other quantum phenomena are nonlocal anyway. It just means the hidden variable setup would be nonlocal. Which probably means we should consider this less likely to be true, but really we don't know.
Also, the proof is of course based on a model derived from experimental evidence. The model will change in the future, if history is any indication at all. You can't completely prove anything in physics.
Nobody has proven that the world is actually random or non-deterministic at all. Apart from non-local hidden variables, bell's theorem allows for superdeterministic theories too.
I see, really interesting. Still, these are just quantum effects, I wonder to what degree they affect the macroscopic world. Do you think "decisions" made by living beings are affected by quantum effects, so that there is a degree of randomness, or that they are predictable?
whatzen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:03:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a neat way of transfering quantum randomness to macro-level. The next time you have a decision to make, set your options to correspond to variables by the last number output of a random series. Now the micro determines the macro.
Its just that from what I learned in my short life so far is that heat death relies on a closed system and to me virtual particles seem to imply that it isn't closed.
Ok I am just using wikipedia and the source is for stephen hawking but with no link, can you tell me what this means exactly?
"A virtual particle does not precisely obey the energyโmomentum relation m2c4 = E2 โ p2c2. Its kinetic energy may not have the usual relationship to velocityโindeed, it can be negative."
whatzen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, can't help you - I am not a physicist. But coincidentally I am going to a Stephen Hawking seminar in two week's time. Perhaps he will go into this so I can let you know.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:56:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Think about it like a bouncy ball. If you throw it, you don't know where it's going to land. But that's only because you don't know every single variable at play: surface friction, wind speed and direction, humidity etc. If you knew literally everything, you'd know exactly where that ball would land.
This is true for classical systems, yes. However, in quantum mechanics things are really random.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:27:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True dat. Subatomic particles be trippin', yo.
But maybe they're only random because we just don't fully understand the rules that govern their behavior?
I mean, this is an infinite regression. One person could say, "But the next level down is random!" and the other could reply, "Only because we don't understand it yet!"
For my part, I don't think that we're "all the ball, man" but it is hard to reconcile randomness with the knowledge that something as ephemeral as human emotion and thought can be linked to a series of electrochemical reactions in an amalgamated blob of lipids and proteins.
I'm just going with the flow. It would be simultaneously awesome, sick and depressing (depending on 1. who you are and 2. your ability to empathize with others) if this were a Futurama finale scenario and we were all just destined to relive our lives over and over because our atoms were destined to align at a specific point in the universe's life/death cycle.
But maybe they're only random because we just don't fully understand the rules that govern their behavior?
I mean, this is an infinite regression. One person could say, "But the next level down is random!" and the other could reply, "Only because we don't understand it yet!"
I think we're venturing in the realm of philosophy of science here. Our current best explanation of what happens at small scale is quantum mechanics, and according to quantum mechanics, shit's random. Saying that it isn't, is almost equivalent to saying you don't believe quantum mechanics.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:34 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a simple biology teacher so I haven't had the time to delve into quantum very much. (If it's smaller than an atom...) But thanks for the mini-explanations! I've always dreamt of being able to go back to school to do a second degree in physics but, unfortunately, who has the time? Do you guys have any suggested reading for semi-lay persons?
Things at a quantum level can't properly be said to have in infinitely precise position or momentum (or lots of other properties governed by uncertainty relations). Belief in determinacy of quantum particles requires a whole lot of other even weirder mechanisms to compensate. So whatever the next level down is, it has to incorporate indeterminacy at this level.
You can't ever know exactly the wind speed and direction, temperature, etc, because the molecules in the atmosphere are not deterministic.
I'm not familiar with that, but from a quick google search I guess they test the other kind of randomness. See my other comments for clarity.
Bagel90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Surely that's the only logical conclusion ? I don't get how there can be any for of randomness? Scientists is it possible for truly random events in physics ?
Apparently some quantum events are truly random, and there is no hidden variable that can give you an idea of their outcome, still I'm not too sure about that.
Valdrax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No local hidden variables. De Broglie-Bohm theory is one deterministic theory that relies on non-local hidden variables. Uncertainty is just the result of us being unable to measure all the components of a system.
However, that's a less popular interpretation. Most interpretations embrace that randomness is truly fundamental to the universe.
You partly answered yourself. Something random would be either something that happens without a cause (maybe the big bang?) or something that, given the same exact variables and circumstances and context, can give a different result when tested multiple times.
For example, if you open an empty box, and it's always empty, no matter how many times you do it, then the system is deterministic, or non-random, but if even once, something just appears in the box out of nowhere, then that would be a random system. I made other examples in other comments, but I don't want to write the same things all the times.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I meant to answer myself (or rebut the answer). The thing is there's always the stream of causes behind the box's content; there's a reason the box suddenly has something in it or what happened is uncaused/random.
I thought nothing was random? Its just incredibly small differences causes huge repercussions, but if we could calculate everything nothing would be random?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The laws of physics are only in relation to a specific reference frame, so those numbers could be random or could be completely normal,depending. Entropy in physics is also not invariant.
"Searching for purpose in a random universe sucks dick. Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way? Can I choose to not give a fuck about ice cube trays?"
I think that ultimately we are just observers. We think we decide stuff, but in the end the decisions we make are just a fruit of all the variables of the environment that we observed and our brain just executes the only possible answer for each decision.
You think you are choosing between chocolate and vanilla ice cream, but in the end, the way your brain was shaped by all the years you lived, the contents of your stomach, the sight of the icecream, and all those other variables, will make you "choose".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually we can be almost certain there is no hidden variable or local reality theory underneath quantum mechanics (I assume that's what you were referring to). Ensemble averages are practically deterministic, but individual particles aren't. There's enough data on this that we really can tell the difference.
See also: Bell Inequality and associated experiments.
Right? Like even if you go to random.org and generate the most random of numbers, those numbers were already going to be picked. It wasn't going to be any other set of numbers.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The determinism you're talking about is better known as Bell's Theory. Quantum Mechanics violates this. The reason is either that locality (causality) doesn't exist, or the Universe is not deterministic. Most physicists choose the latter. Therefor, there's a high chance we don't live in a clockwork Universe. There's other theories also, but I put some level of trust with the majority of highly intelligent people that devote their lives to answering these questions.
Apparently radioactive decay and some quantum effects are truly random. Also the big bang might have happened randomly, and some particles randomly come into existance, but that's part of the "quantum effects".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think that random is only relevant as compared to some other thing. For instance: the exact number of airplanes flying at any given moment in Thailand is a completely random number when used for the price of tea in Denver. However, is the number of airplanes flying in Thailand random by itself? No, not really, you can certainly predict it.
Of course they're pseudo-random. Any number generated by a computer is pseudo-random. But for most purposes, this is as random as you can get unless you generate two numbers in the same second.
Still not really random if it wasn't for quantum interferences. So yeah, everything is random to a degree.
exor15 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:54:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the universe IS deterministic right? People argue that quantum mechanics is the only true randomness in our universe, but even that is debated (we can't accurately predict outcomes on a quantum level, but that doesn't necessarily make them random). And even if quantum mechanics are random, it's unlikely that it would affect the universe on a macroscopic scale right? I mean, the effects could percolate upwards and maybe affect something tiny in our world.
I dunno. This is Reddit. Someone else probably knows way more about this than me.
Bell's theorem effectively states that quantum mechanical events are truly "random." Second, they can effect macroscopic change. Quantum number generators have been created, and these can be used to make decisions. The butterfly effect also states that small changes (like minute quantum states) over time can result in huge shifts in a system.
Not at all, Bell's theorem only shows that no local hidden variables theory can describe quantum mechanical interactions. It doens't show that the world is truly random, only that local realism is not an accurate description of the cosmos. For example bohmian mechanics makes all the same accurate predictions as quantum mechanics but is deterministic and contains none of the superpositions or probabilities of QM
You're having the same argument Einstein had when he said "God doesn't play dice". He was proven wrong by quantum mechanics, however.
(we can't accurately predict outcomes on a quantum level, but that doesn't necessarily make them random)
As far as I understand it, that's not the case. It's not a problem with our abilities or equipment, the universe really is random at a quantum level.
exor15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But how can we truly prove it's random? How do we know outcomes on the quantum level aren't determined by some initial condition we can't yet measure? What evidence do we have for either possibility?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the universe IS deterministic right?
No, probably not, for a number of reasons.
Beyond the quantum mechanical randomness stuff others have mentioned (which is way, way outside my personal wheelhouse), we can also approach the issue philosophically.
Something I like to think about in this respect is Platonic Idealism. In essence, Plato argued that the external, material realm was in fact less real than the abstract realm of ideas. For example, a tree in your yard would be considered an imperfect expression of ideal "treeness." The most real, truest tree, the ideal tree which perfectly embodies "treeness" exists only in the non-materal world of ideas, yet it remains more real than any tree we might observe as they are, according to Plato, derived imperfectly from that ideal tree.
Now, this sounds very strange to most people, but it's not all that different from how many have come to understand science and how science relates to the world. They take it for granted that the ideal world is the highest form of truth, that anything which cannot be reduced to some set of equations ought not be taken too seriously, and that, ultimately, math and science ought to be able to encompass all the truth of reality.
This is how we end up with people considering the notion of a deterministic universe to be somehow obvious. Math is deterministic, and the universe is ultimately just math, so therefore the universe must be deterministic. But it's that second premise which has a lot of problems which usually go unacknowledged, namely that there's no rational grounds for believing it!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
namely that there's no rational grounds for believing it!
Questioning my rationality always gets me excited!
With the idea of a deterministic universe, we're not necessarily talking about an ideal universe, but rather a universe with a set of initial conditions. If we know "x,y,z" values, then we can predict how the universe will behave. Determinism isn't saying that we're observing a signal with noise and that if we knew what the noise was, we could extract the signal (even though in reality, the signal doesn't exist), it's saying that our signal doesn't have noise and our model has to pass through every data point.
If we accept the premise that an ideal model for a universe exists only as an idea, that would imply multiple universes, no? We can look at all the trees that have fallen and come up with the idea of an ideal tree only because of the fact that we have seen multiple trees. If only one tree ever existed (or universe), it would have to be ideal since it is the only one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If we accept the premise that an ideal model for a universe exists only as an idea, that would imply multiple universes, no?
I don't see why it would. It could also be true that there is only one universe, and, at the same time, no idealized model for it. It then becomes an epistemic question.
We can look at all the trees that have fallen and come up with the idea of an ideal tree only because of the fact that we have seen multiple trees. If only one tree ever existed (or universe), it would have to be ideal since it is the only one.
To turn that around, if only one tree ever existed, could it be described as a tree at all? An ideal is the perfect embodiment of some conception. In the case of a singular tree, there could be no conception for it to embody aside from itself, so it would normally be regarded as the imperfect embodiment of some other conception or conceptions rather than the perfect embodiment of itself.
Of course, we could say the tree is the perfect embodiment of itself and therefore ideal, but at that point we're not using "ideal" in the usual sense. It's just a tautology like "The Louvre is the ideal Louvre." It must be true, but it doesn't really say anything.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:40:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's no way to verify anything at all being random
Nah, but in science an approximation is used.
You can identify a pattern, and it doesn't really matter which pattern this is ("patterns" being the opposite of "randomness") in the numbers (such as the frequency of a certain number, or amount of repetitions), and you can calculate the chance of this quality of pattern occurring randomly, known as the p-value.
If the p-value is lower than 0.05 (1 in 20), scientists will usually assume that the pattern is not a result of random chance. The assumption is (like you say) that you can never be sure, and with this method you will only be wrong 1 in 20 times.
In the case of the numbers above, the p-value is probably a lot lower. /u/nut_butter_420 is more likely to be right (that these numbers were not generated by a random engine) than wrong.
This is so scary. This means that fate is indeed real. If you had enough information about the universe you could calculate and even predict every reaction and outcome in the universe. Shit is scary
And why cant we know everything? I dont know much about quantum mechanics so could you eli5?
Vernost ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if I can do an ELI5 for it, but one of the most fundamental ideas of QM is its random nature.
There's a thing called a wavefunction, and squaring it gives you the probability of what you're measuring. so lets say you're trying to see where a particle is. When you get the probability function, you're usually not going to get just one discrete answer. You're not going to get "oh the electron is at 6m." Instead it's probabilistic, you can say "well, I'm 75% sure the particle is between 5 m and 7 m."
The thing is, is that in QM the probability function is always right. As in, if you took an infinite number of readings on the same exact state then you'd it would match the function. So we know what the probabilities are, but because quantum mechanics is random-based, we won't necessarily get the same single result every time, even if everything is exactly the same.
If you want, I can suggest some textbooks that may help.
Also sorry if there are mistakes or if my format is weird. I'm doing this on mobile
The uncertainty principle, gives us a lower bound for how accurately we can know a couple of variables, the most famous pair are momentum & position, so if we are 100% sure on the position of an object we are 0% sure on it's location.
What do you mean? Anyway, yes, if you had all the information you could predict the whole future of the universe, but as I explain here I think that this is impossible.
That kinda depends on which interpretation of quantum mechanics ends up being correct too. If the Copenhagen interpretation is right there is true randomness in probabilities of quantum states. If everettian quatum mechanics is right then we can still consider the universe to be deterministic. For large scale objects we are still deterministic.
Oh, well then I don't think I have an answer, and I'm not even sure there is an answer, but it's a really interesting question, I wonder if someone else is looking into it or if it's already solved.
I wonder if someone else is looking into it or if it's already solved.
I suppose you could say the good folks at CERN or any of the other high-energy particle physics labs are trying to understand exactly that. The existential question or our existence is still a long ways beyond our current level of comprehension.
McCFred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi there, welcome to Calvinism
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Determinism*
Spyger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. Hisenberg's principle(measurement effects shit) and the fundamentally random behavior of subatomic particles invalidates deterministic theory.
Source-took philosophy 101 am a genius /s
lymn ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:10:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: People who don't know about the Diehard Randomness tests or Kolmogorov complexity.
It should be noted that I've upvoted every single person who's disagreed with me here, as far as I know.
That said.
In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area.
An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test.
My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He's not particularly successful as an engineer, but I've met lots of other engineers who aren't as good as me at physics, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it.
I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan).
I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is.
Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories.
I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it.
I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code.
I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them.
I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things.
I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone.
I'm pretty much a pacifist. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don't attack, I'll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I'm never in a situation where I'll be worse off after a fight. If I'm not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don't care.
The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them.
I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Reddit "women are crazy" circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I don't think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who aren't awesome.
That doesn't mean I look for places to victimize women, I just don't believe it's fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everything's OK when it's really not (and that's a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that).
I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments).
And, uh, I'm a pretty good moderator.
All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?
On a side note, Linux kernels v1.3 and up have this neat feature called an entropy pool that generates a continuous stream of random data based on user inputs and peripherals timing for use in OS processes that require robust randomness.
nukethem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, you can quantify the randomness of any string of numbers - integer or not.
Sedu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's neat is that /u/nut_butter_420 writes all their posts with random letters! The chances against all of them being coherent sentences is staggering! It's not like this message which is carer K<EASLF& fgo78S GFaFu*P(AFAZFPS*(YV
ASF 98c8967saT&68AS^A&F#O*GQF:NQ>NACP)R@+Q_:FQJA>ACWAQ@RT
fSZ F
AS
zedgrrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this like a Math version of Grammar Nazi raging over poor word usage, punctuation and/or sentence structure? I apologize for being naive; this was best metaphor I could use to express how your comment resonated with me.
Compare each number with the expectation 3.5*n and the variance. If the number has too much of a deviation from then you assume they weren't. Or do a hypothesis test
Well, I mean, there's no way to prove it but the number of 7s and the number of repeats appears about right.
Fun fact, when a human tries to generate a "random" number string, there will be far fewer of one specific number (usually 7s) than in a truly random sequence, and there will far fewer cases of numbers repeating themselves more than twice. Additionally, people will avoid putting two repetitions next to each other - that is, your sequence will be unlikely to go 8888555434858 at any point, because that has an 8-repetition and a 5-repetition consecutively, which for some reason the human brain perceives as not random, despite the fact that it is by definition random.
No, but you can sort of determine statistical likelihood that it is random to an extent. Like the number 111112111111111111111111111111 could have been randomly generated, but likely not. I would test the independence of each number based on the number directly before it. That should be a better indicator if he typed it or mashed the keyboard, vs using a script that randomly generated each digit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not random. Not enough entropy.
1) Sequences like 666, 000, 444, 08080, 474747
2) Look for someone alternating between hands or fingers. One way the US broke Russian codes was that the Russians generated keys with ladies that alternated between the left and right part of a typewriter.
If I get my friends cat to walk on my keyboard while chasing a dangly piece of string, is that considered random?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That number is wayyy too large to store as an integer. You're going to run into errors.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can prove it's random up to a certain degree of certainty
Duderds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well actually there is, it would be highly inaccurate with only this many integers but you could find the probability that OP would pick 'said number' after each particular number and create even more variables. It only appears to be random :)
nex_xen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no way to verify those numbers were generated truly or even pseudo-randomly
except the:
Frequency Test: Monobit
Frequency Test: Block
Runs Test
Test for the Longest Runs of Ones in a Block
Binary Matrix Rank Test
Discrete Fourier Transform (Spectral Test)
Non-Overlapping Template Matching Test
Overlapping Template Matching Test
Maurer's Universal Statistical Test
Linear Complexity Test
Serial Test
Approximate Entropy Test
Cumulative Sums Test
Random Excursions Test
Random Excursions Variant Test
Weave77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The concept of true random does not make sense; there can never be a true random number, or true random anything, as there is always a certain criteria by which a subject is selected.
lildil37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
derefr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You're right! There is no way to verify a static sampling as being from an RNG. You can verify an RNG process or output stream, though: you just collect a long arbitrary subsampling of its output and make sure that it's mathematically uniform, and has maximum Shannon entropy (i.e. is incompressible with a general data compression algorithm.)
That doesn't ensure that process won't suddenly switch to being predictable in the future, though. Even if it seems pretty good.
bioemerl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A big sign is that there are repeat numbers. Humans won't tend to put thee fours in a row when typing out random numbers, but this string above does often, and does it twice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He types a number with his right finger and then left. If you look it's often a number from 1-5 then a number from 6-0. They feign randomness by occasionally repeating a number
Koooooj ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 17:02:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You may be random, but you're not particularly uniformly distributed. With about 249 numbers there you have only 13 ones but 41 fours.
[deleted] ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 17:24:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uniform distribution is not random
Koooooj ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 17:31:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, but you'd expect 249 numbers to be closer to a uniform distribution than this was. I ran 100 tests of 249 random numbers as provided by python's random.randint and looked at the frequency of one digit and not once was there an instance of 13 or fewer or 41 or more of the same number.
It's possible, of course, that an unweighted source of random digits would produce this string, but it is improbable that something this biased would occur. There was enough evidence to state with >95% certainty that the numbers did not come from a high quality random number source but came from keyboard mashing instead.
i mean, doesn't the fact that he mashed the keys on his keyboard make the sequence not random? given that he unconsciously selected for particular numbers?
i remember this video i saw a while back where a kid wrote "random" numbers on a whiteboard and was told they weren't actually random, and could never be, since he would always choose the frequency of the numbers.
Our brains are designed to work well with patterns. We don't work well with something that is literally the opposite of what our brains are designed to do.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Our brains are designed happen to work well with patterns. We don't work well with something that is literally the opposite of what our brains are designed to do our specialty.
Fixed that for you. Someone who didn't know better could have interpreted that as your way of saying, "My imaginary friend guides evolution."
Koooooj ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:29:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Deciding whether or not they're random winds up quickly devolving into a philosophical discussion about determinism and whether or not choice and free will exist. I have no interest in going down that rabbit hole.
That said, though, you can look at the quality of a string of "random" numbers by asking "how predictable is the next number, given the previous string of numbers?" In the case of "random" numbers produced by mashing on a keyboard the answer is "not nearly random enough to be used for anything serious." Serious random number generators often get subjected to statistical tests (most famously the Diehard tests) to see how well they emulate the theoretical behavior of a perfect random number generator. Something like Mersenne Twister or Dual_EC_DRBG pass these tests quite well (although the latter is fundamentally broken for security), while keyboard mashing does not.
Actually, no - the layout of the keyboard, mechanics and contiguous nature of one's hand (especially if mashed into the keyboard) will all bias some pattern or another. Don't confuse random with a lack of intention. Truly random distributions are actually hard to come across.
Krail ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if you just dance your fingers across the number row on a keyboard you're likely to get a functionally random sequence without uniform distribution. You'd generally expect to see numbers towards the center more frequently. It's still basically random, just has different probabilities.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Koooooj ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:27:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote a quick Monte Carlo simulation to check both the low number of ones and the large number of fours to see the probability of having both of those distributions in one 249 element sample. (I counted it regardless of which digit was abnormally common or uncommon, since there's nothing special about 1 and 4).
I performed 10,000 trials and had 9 cases where there was as nonuniform of a distribution as in the sample given, so I feel quite confident that the sample did not come from a uniform distribution. I could be wrong, but my certainty is well over 95 or even 99 percent.
As it happens, the sample was confirmed to have been produced by button mashing, a remarkably nonuniform method of getting random numbers.
slate15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You make the assumption that the numbers were generated randomly from a uniform distribution. He or she could have been drawing from a distribution where 4 is more common and 1 is less common, which could easily have resulted in the sequence provided above.
True. urandom() is considered a high-quality PRNG yet spits out repeat digits fairly frequently. The early developers of playlist shuffle functions tried implementing them with a random selection algorithm but it drove listeners crazy for precisely this reason, and in the end they had to go with a modified algorithm that filtered out repeat results. Yet this is not random selection.
There's a clear pattern of alternating 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6, 7, 8, 9, 0, with the exception of repeat numbers, which suggests that he/she used two fingers two type from the number row as opposed to the numpad, while occasionally putting repeats in there when they felt like it.
foshogun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey guys! I decoded it! Here you go!
รลธtรยฎ;รร}รฃลลฝรร6รย6รฏย5รทยรถรฏยwรรนรซ~รนรซยฎลรฃร{รฃร8รฃรลฝรงลยปรงร=รยรผรณxรณn{รMuรM8รณnรธรรลรงลลรฃร=รN|รฃลtรN<รงย7รณ~รปรซoxรฃร|รงรลฝรwรณย{รร<รยรผรลuรงn6รงยรนรทMรธรณยzรทยยทรnลพรทยzรท~ลพรท{รง~<รฏย<รฃรxรฏยรธรฏยลพรทm8รฃยรฝรรยถรฃร8รยฎรทรณยzรฏM9รซรลฝรซลธรด
ME, TOO, SO RANDOM
3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196442881097566593344612847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432664821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160943305727036575959195309218
GraharG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
im liking the repeating digits. You eirther used a generator or are goood at doing random numbers by hand, most people wont ever pu in a triple 6 even although its fairly likley to occur
Wille304 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
tacos41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Took a grad level probability class recently and we talked about how we humans are actually bad at being random. When we "randomly" pick numbers, they aren't distributed randomly. Specifically, we choose repeated number or consecutive numbers far less than we should.
Programmer here. Did you know that most "random generators" actually is just a function that pulls a set number based on some indicator like what time of day the function was called?! It's true. Actually picking a truly random number is not easy. It's much easier to pull a number based on some other thing like day, time of day, etc.
Yarr, mateys! I be new to this port. Holds up Hook hand. My name be Sullivan Bradford, but ye can call me Captain Saltskin! Yarharhar! As ye can see, I be a salty dog of the seven seas. That be why I be here, t'find me crew of salty dogs like meself. I be thirty and two years of age (But me scurvy not be enough to stop me from skinnin' sorry wretches half me age). I enjoy plunderin' a good galleon and slicin' navy sailors with me crew (Ye live 'n die with the crew, matey, and ye best be dealin' with it). Yarharhar, that be the best feelin', lad. Aye, me crew be a vicious lot, but there be no hurtin' in findin' more salty dogs like meself. Like me old paps once told me, the more the merrier (Aye, that was before he walked the plank. He sank with twice the weight on his ankles 'cos of those words. Good times). Ye can find me in th' pub if ye thinkin' yerself to be salty enough for me crew. YARRR! Ye scurvy wretches! Why's the rum always gone, lads?
Take what ye can, and give nuffin' back
Captain Saltskin
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 18:24:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dear Fake Pirate Sir: I knew you were a fake pirate in the second sentence. You used, and I quote: "....My name be Sullivan Bradford...." Endquote. Had you been, in fact, a real pirate, that sentence would've read: "......Me name be Sullivan Bradford....". You're welcome.
GREETINGS BATTLE BROTHERS, I AM NEW. *HOLDS UP BOLTER AND POWERSPORK! MY NAME IS SERGEANT ARGUS BUT YOU CAN CALL ME BATTLE BROTHER. AS YOU CAN SEE I AM VERY LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND. THAT IS WHY I HAVE COME HERE, TO MEET FELLOW BATTLE BROTHERS WHO ARE LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR LIKE MYSELF. I AM 127 YEARS OF AGE (PRAISE THE EMPEROR) I LIKE TO PURGE HERETICS AND XENO SCUM WITH MY BATTLE BROTHERS (I LOVE MY BATTLE BROTHERS, IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THAT THE DEAL WITH IT) IT IS OUR FAVORITE ACTIVITY BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR. ALL MY BATTLE BROTHERS ARE LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR TOO OF COURSE, BUT I WANT TO MEET MORE LOYAL SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR. LIKE THE EMPEROR ONCE SAID, THE MORE THE MERRIER. I HOPE TO BOND WITH A LARGE AMOUNT OF LOYAL SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR SO JOIN ME IN PRAISE OF THE EMPEROR. FAREWELL.
PRAISE THE EMPEROR AND GLORY TO THE IMPERIUM!
BATTLE BROTHER
[deleted] ยท 2256 points ยท Posted at 16:36:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No...no run /u/jyetie!
My fiance has been listening to nerds talk about this whole Warhammer universe reboot for like...days. How is there so much to talk about a little toy soldiers game?? How?
It goes on and on and on. At first I tried to get into it, because hell I like some nerdy shit, too- but oh god it's been days and he's still listening to videos and there are a million gods and they keep getting axed and shot and stabbed and then returning as some new form and then it keeps going. It's been going forever.
Please sendhelp
...oh god I can hear it still going on downstairs helpme
jyetie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:09:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry about me, my comic book shop only has rpg and MtG night. :( And I just bought a ton of dice and the 5e player's handbook. I need to wait for my nerd spending money to replenish, and damn those metal dice are beautiful. Dice could become my new obsession.
Is it like really advanced chess or something?
You can throw some of my dice at them until they go away. D4 are awfully pointy.
Tasgall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow, that just reminded me I want to buy these...
jyetie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. Those are beautiful.
Tasgall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know D:
I really want to get them, but can't justify spending like, $80 on brass 3d printed dice :(
Haha, I bought him some of the Civilisation games I'm already concerned about him sleeping/eating enough at the moment.
He was a competitive Blood Bowl player for a while(he was an international champ a few years ago), and I know he won a Warhammer tournament (the basement is just stuffed with tables of little figure dudes and scenery).
Part of me wants to get into his hobby to support him but shit, I have this mental block that was hammered into me through high school and university that only losers and dorks play those kind of games. That makes me kinda sad since I'm sure I'd enjoy it if I could get over the cringing. I just hear this stuff and I physically cringe from the dorkiness.
I'm slowly working on it since it's a stupid hangup.
I mean warhammer stuff on 8chan always makes me laugh, and it's clearly got a massive universe of lore and history and stuff.
Okay so I will grab Drawn of War for him and try and be a good wife-to-be.
Never played the tabletop game... bought one of their books explaining the lore. Now I'm a battle brother too. butseriouslythebook'sprettyawesome.
Mingan88 ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 17:19:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Greetings, everyone. I am new. (One second โ let me get this spork out of the
way.) My name is Katy, but you can call me the Penguin of Doom. (Iโm laughing
aloud.) As you can plainly see, my actions have no pattern whatsoever. That is
why I have come here. To meet similarly patternless individuals, such as myself.
I am 13 โ mature for my age, however! โ and I enjoy watching Invader Zim
with my girlfriend. (I am bisexual. Please approach this subject maturely.)
It is our favorite television show, as it adequately displays stochastic
manners of behavior such as we possess.
She behaves without order โ of course โ but I wish to meet more individuals
of her and my kind. As the saying goes, โthe more, the merrier.โ
Ah, it is to laugh. Anyway, I hope to make many friends here, so please
comment freely.
Doom!
That is simply one of many examples of my random actions. Ha, ha. Fare
thee well. I wish you much love and waffles.
Let's see here. Ten years down the road, and she has three kids by two different guys, neither of whom are in the picture anymore. She works as a secretary/receptionist for a small, struggling heating/air company. Her dream is to go back to school to learn medical billing, maybe even be a nurse, but it's really hard to save money with so many bills. Her and her girlfriend drifted apart and now except for the occasional like on Facebook, don't even communicate. She's not even sure where she lives or what she does. Not that it matters, she was just a middle school friend that she kissed a few times before meeting her first "real" boyfriend. It was to be the first of many hard lessons and painful disappointments for Katy. In time, life would burn all the spunk and randomness out of her.
hi every1 im new!!!!! charges mah lazr my name is ted but u can call me Anonymous!!!!!!!! lolโฆas u can see im very random!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _โฆ im 22 years old (i still live w/ my mom tho!!) i like 2 look at mudkip threads with my trap girlfriend (im str8 if u dont like it gtfo) its our favorite kindof thred!!!! bcuz their SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lolโฆneways i hope 2 make alot of friends here so give me lots of replieses! DESUDESUDESUDESUDESU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _ heheโฆtoodles!!!!!
traps and cp,
Anonymous
Edit: words
Apkoha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up pizza slice my name is katy but u can call me t3h m3rC w1f 4 M0utH!!!!!!!! lolโฆas u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _โฆ im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 read Deadpool w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite comic!!! bcuz hez SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lolโฆneways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of upboats!!!!
CHIMICHANGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ heheโฆtoodles!!!!!
love and not spider man,
t3h m3rC w1f 4 M0uTh
Vendoban ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FOR TAU
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Regorek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi everyone I'm smart!!!!!!! holds up wrench my name is engineer but you can call me the STEM graduate!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see I'm very intelligent!!!! That's why i came here, to meet intelligent people like me... I'm 23 years old (still have problems talking to stupid people tho) I like to watch Mythbusters with my girlfriend (she's smart too, if you don't like girls being in science classes gtfo of here) It's our favorite tv show because it's SOOOO scientific!!!! shes smart to, of course, but I want to meet more intelligent people because dumb people are really dumb =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...anyways I hope to make a lot of smart friends here so give me lots of comments!!!! When ax2 + bx + c = 0, x = (-b +/- โ(b2 + 4 * a * c) / 2 * a) <--- me being smart again ^ _ ^ hehe...toodles!!!!!
love and metric system,
~the STEM graduate~
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GREETINGS BATTLE BROTHERS, I AM NEW. *HOLDS UP BOLTER AND POWERSPORK! MY NAME IS SERGEANT ARGUS BUT YOU CAN CALL ME BATTLE BROTHER. AS YOU CAN SEE I AM VERY LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND. THAT IS WHY I HAVE COME HERE, TO MEET FELLOW BATTLE BROTHERS WHO ARE LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR LIKE MYSELF. I AM 127 YEARS OF AGE (PRAISE THE EMPEROR) I LIKE TO PURGE HERETICS AND XENO SCUM WITH MY BATTLE BROTHERS (I LOVE MY BATTLE BROTHERS, IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THAT THE DEAL WITH IT) IT IS OUR FAVORITE ACTIVITY BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR. ALL MY BATTLE BROTHERS ARE LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR TOO OF COURSE, BUT I WANT TO MEET MORE LOYAL SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR. LIKE THE EMPEROR ONCE SAID, THE MORE THE MERRIER. I HOPE TO BOND WITH A LARGE AMOUNT OF LOYAL SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR SO JOIN ME IN PRAISE OF THE EMPEROR. FAREWELL.
PRAISE THE EMPEROR AND GLORY TO THE IMPERIUM!
BATTLE BROTHER
hoi ieder1 ik ben nieuw hier!!!!!! hout spork omhoog mijn naam is katja maar je kan me ook d3 p1ngu1n v4n v3rd03m3n1s noeme!!!!!!! haha...zoals je ziet ben ik erg willekeurig!!! daarom ben ik hier, om willkeurige mensen als mij te ontmoete _... ik ben 13 jaar oud (ik ben volwassen voor mijn leeftijd hoor!!) ik kijk graag bassie en adriaan met mijn vriendin (ik ben bi als je er niet tegen kan peg gehad) het is onze favoriete tvserie!!! want het is ERRRRG willekeurig! ze is ook willekeurig natuurlijk maar ik wil meer willekeurige mensen ontmoete =) zoals ze zegge meer zielen meer vreugd!!!!! hahah...in elk geval hoop ik errug veel vrienden te maken hier dus geef me veel
opstemmetjes!!!! VERDOEMENIS!!!!!!!!!!!! <-- daar ben ik weer willekeurig geweest _^ hehe...doeiiiiiiiii!
liefs en waffels,
Incursus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I don't know anything about linguistics, and I realize that this is likely full of inaccuracies, but it seems that Dutch is surprisingly similar to English. Cool.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I play a game that recently got a lot of Dutch players, and I learned that there's quite a few cognates (which are words from two languages that have the same meaning as well as meaning the same thing.)
I sexually Identify as a spork. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being the perfect combination of fork and spoon. People say to me that a person being a spork is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon implant horns on my head and to curve my spine. From now on I want you guys to call me "TeH PEngUin oF d00Om" and respect my right to be random. If you can't accept me you're a sporkophobe and need to check your utensil privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:08:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 21:29:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I greet you all today. I am pleased to inform you that your ranks have gained another, namely, myself. Before I continue, please observe this spork, the spork being a fusion of the spoon and fork, that I am holding for you to view. My father and mother gave me the name of Katherine, but if you so desire you may address me as The Aptenodytes forsteri of Inevitable Destruction and Death.
Ha ha, I laugh, since as you are likely observing, the ways in which I choose to act fail to follow any pattern or system even under studious scrutiny. You may have realized at this moment, that is why I have chosen to attend this place. And in addition to that, I have come here in hopes of making the acquaintance of people whose choices and actions resemble mine in the ways I have described.
_... Excuse that. I momentarily paused after spontaneously providing you with an underscore. This very well could be related to my inferably unpredictable mannerisms.
I was born 13 years and a number of days less that Three Hundred Sixty Five (Or Three Hundred And Sixty Six in the case that we are currently experiencing a Leap Year, a peculiar Year in which the Second Month, February, provides a Twenty Ninth day, greater than it's typical Twenty Eight. The Leap Year occurs every fourth year excluding those that are multiples of One Hundred from the year referred to as the birth of Christ whether or not it was truly his birth year, but including those that are multiples of Four Hundred. If this description of the Leap Year is inaccurate, feel willing to inform myself) ago. You have my assurance, though, that my aspects of maturity, if quantifiable, would be far greater than that of the human aged Thirteen Years that you would expect.
I enjoy viewing television programs, perhaps most notably Invader Zim. I often watch it alongside my Significant Other, as we enjoy the company. As you may have gathered from my feminine given name, Katherine, I am female. To what may be your surprise, my Significant Other is female as well. I am not a Lesbian, a female whose attraction is directed towards other females, against what is common in females, as well as optimal for human reproduction. I am instead Bisexual, a title which refers to people whose attraction is directed towards all humans, assuming of course, that those humans are what could be described as attractive. If this fact about me offends you, I encourage you to seek peace with it on your own.
With regard to the mentioned television show, Invader Zim, it is generally considered by my Significant Other (Female) and I to be of extremely high quality, to the point of being a shoe-in for the role of our Favorite television program. It has attained this judgement for it's attribute of unpredictability. If you have followed my words with precision, you may have realized that this bears similarity to my own randomness. And as follows, my Significant Other (female) has patternless attributes as well.
Though of course, the fact that my Significant Other is unpredictable is not optimal. We satisfy each other, and yet I have always held true that a greater number of people allow for all bask in merryness much much more. For this reason, I wish to be acquainted with unsystematic individuals who seek acquaintance just as I do.
Ha ha. Once more, I laugh. To move on, it is my desire to befriend many people similar to my Significant Other (female) and I. It will be greatly appreciated to receive commentary on my words.
FEAR MY WRATH, MORTAL INSECTS. ALL WILL SUFFER BUT NEVER PERISH, FOREVER, FOR ETERNITY, PAST THE END OF TIME ITSELF. YOU SHALL LIE IN THE FIRES OF UNENDING PAIN, NEVER TO DIE, ONLY TO REGRET. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, AND SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE.
Excuse the momentary outburst. I was merely engaging in my mentioned unpredictable mannerisms. It is a minor indulgence of mine, and while it may seem to be a cornerstone of my character, I assure you that there is far more to me than that.
_^
Once again, I have mysteriously provided an underscore. This time, however, it is accompanied by a caret. It bears resemblance to an emoticon shaped like the following: _. The face bears similarity to a face made in japan-produced animated productions. It is difficult to produce on a human face in reality, however. You may interpret this as you wish.
Hehe... I pause to allow my laughter to hold dramatic effect. I with you a fine time from here forwards.
You have my love, and any leavened batter mysteriously shaped like a grid.
With regards, The Aptenodytes forsteri of Inevitable Destruction and Death.
FEAR MY WRATH, MORTAL INSECTS. ALL WILL SUFFER BUT NEVER PERISH, FOREVER, FOR ETERNITY, PAST THE END OF TIME ITSELF. YOU SHALL LIE IN THE FIRES OF UNENDING PAIN, NEVER TO DIE, ONLY TO REGRET. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, AND SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE.
hi every1 im new!!!!! charges mah lazr my name is ted but u can call me Anonymous!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!
thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _... im 22 years old (i still live w/ my mom tho!!) i like 2 look at mudkip
threads with my boyfreind (im bi if u dont like it gtfo) its our favorite kindof thred!!!! bcuz their SOOOO random!!!!
hes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!!
lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of friends here so give me lots of replieses!
DESUDESUDESUDESUDESU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe...toodles!!!!!
Ezmar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:13:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That copypasta is so unfortunately reminiscent of how I and my idiot friends acted in high school that I can't in good conscience promise that I wasn't the teh original penguin of doom d00m.
What have I done.
sporks_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that spark made of molded polypropylene, mass produced, with a design honed to perfection to get the most sturdiness out of the least material, in order to save weight...
Which is meant to be the most cost efficient, motivated by the fact that THERE ARE SO MANY FUCKING MILLIONSMADE EVERY DAY that they're neither unusual or ""random"".
And besides, if you're doing goofy unexpected shit erratically, that's arbitrary, not random
Kinteoka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WOW!! cool! awesome!!!! those are things ppl (me lol :3) say to about you!! YES Im srs!!! but not all the time haha i like being random LOL so i wannted to ask u WAFFLE lol see? im random !!! hahahaahah r u laughing with me? :3 we should be friends if u r if ur not that ok 2 i guess... but ur still cool!!!!! hahahah anyway, ima RRREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLY big FAN! of urs :3 PUMPKINZ! lolz can i be in 1 of ur videos? im ok with not being the main charecter... i can be even in the background!! maybe i can say something funny like "omg he stole my taco! or something funny like that haha! ur videos r rly good and i want to be like u 1 day! man, i want to have lots of fans like u do! and then we can hang out together and donate 2 me... LOL ok anyway just feel free to reply if u want me in ur videos! if i dont reply its usally cause im offline... i can only use computer between 6 and 7.. mom doesnt want me staying up l8 but thats fine... (shes an evil evil witch right? LOL pancakes!!!!" im ur biggest fan btw! :P haha lol see u soon! PS: omg i wrote a lot LOL
Pps: uh oh! the cakes r attacking!!!!
Ppps: panckes lol
Pppps: hahah if u laughed with my jokes send me a video of u (irl please) of your reaction i want to see your face when you laugh on my jokes!
Ppppps: ur amazing keep up the good work partner
Pppppps: im not a crazy stalker in case ur wondering...
Ppppppps: hope we can be best friends one day!!!!
PPpppppps: LOL PIE IS ON FIRE!!!!!
Ppppppppps: YOUR THE BEST!!!!
Pppppppppps: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH <---- me when i watch ur videos!!!
Ppppppppppps: when i play videogames i pretend 2 be u cause being u is the best
Pppppppppppps: my mom keeps yelling at me to get of... .. she doesnt understand us famous ppl right? haha
Ppppppppppppps: i named my cat after u :3 it used to be called Mittens (my mom named it UGH such a lame name right?...)
Pppppppppppppps: :3
Ppppppppppppppps: when im in school and bullies make fun of me... i turn slowly to them with a srs look on my face and say "im friends with Alex549us3" and then they get scared... then i say "he will kick ur guys hinies and ull be sorry..." and then they run LOL!!!
Pppppppppppppppps: see you soon!
Ppppppppppppppppps: when can we talk? can u come to my place in 10 minutes? i told my mom to wait for that long... she wont regret it when i get to meet u >:3
Pppppppppppppppppps: OMG someone just messaged me asking to donate... WHAT. A . NOOB. XD
PPPpppppppppppppppps: i spelt "friends" wrong at the beginning but i fixed it! no need to worry hahaha TAKE THAT SPELLCHECK!
Pppppppppppppppppppps: i turned around and pretened to have a roblox sword and hit my mom.... shes so scared now! LOLLLL NOOOOOOB!!!!
Ppppppppppppppppppppps: theres a noob hAXxing your place atm.... im gonna fight back for u! LIKE A TRUE NINJA!
Pppppppppppppppppppppps: i like banananas (lol not really ok?)
Ppppppppppppppppppppppps: wooooooooooooow the haxxor just said that ur a noob... imgonna teach him a BIG lesson...
Pppppppppppppppppppppppps: i just pictured in my head me and u having fun and laughing on the beach ahhaah one day it can be true :3
Ppppppppppppppppppppppppps: in minecraft i built a statue of you.... its not VERY good... you can forgive me right?
Pppppppppppppppppppppppppps: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFLEZ!!!!
Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: Pies our totally epic and those noobs r not like pie.... hahahah THEY WISH.
Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: I wish my mom was cool like my gf.... my gf is hot and cool
Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: hot and cool LOL that makes sense... NOT! like a waffleburger haha
Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: im not lying about haaving a gf..... trust me :3
Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: i know u trust me cause YOUR AWESOME!!!
Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: UR THE ONLY ONE I WATCH ON YOUTUBE!!! ok? no need to be jealous sheeeeesh....
Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: im kidding :p LOL did I get you?
PPpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: im realy strong... i can beat up haxxers....
Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: do u have an arch nemesis? im gonna beat him up for you...
Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: my arch nemesis is haxxers, BUT THEY DONT STAND A CHANCE!!! hahah and im ur sidekick so ur even stronger....
Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: Someone on youtube is copying ur videos...
Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: can you tell me 5 things you like? :(
Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: sorry im sad :( i have to get off computer...
Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: CHEEEESE!
Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: cha-ching- thats the sound of me making money in future with my fans giving me donations!!!
Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bye bye now
Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: i told my mom and she telled me i can have 5 more minutes :) yay! lets play a game?
Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: hahaha can we hang out? ;)
Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: Lets internet high five! ready? 1 2 3 HIGH FIVE!
Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: my mom yelled at me for hitting the computer screen too hard >> LOL
Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: imagine if u dont respond to this pm.... LOL that would be so akward! XDDDDD
Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: stay awesome bros :3
Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: i updated my game, u can join now :3
Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: I have to go now :((((( sheds tears see u tomorow then! okay? bye!!!
WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZWAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, most 10-14 year olds think they're a special little snow flake. Don't tell me you didn't go through a version of this at some point in your early teen life.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:00:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my older brother uses that term constantly whenever I bring up something that doesn't fit hit (rather narrow) worldview. so yeah, that term really gets my goat.
blamb211 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Less annoying than that stupid little flower face that tumblr also like to use. Usually in conjunction with a "friendly reminder"
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 20:50:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was special, but in a more angsty 'I don't fit in anywhere and everyone hates me' kind of way.
10 years later, I wasn't far off.
blamb211 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:23:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody likes you when you're 23.
Krail ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:01:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't like this because I thought I was special. I was like this because it's how I identified other dorky, nerdy, social outcast types to go be friends with.
This is one of the things that I'm so happy about growing up at time when I did. I had all the fun of crazy outdoor adventures up until I was about 10-12, and when I hit the spork age, there wasn't any centralised communications site - only millions upon millions of fora.
GameSpy and the Planet Websites were the last bastions of my early stupidity - and now they're gone, I am free. My cousin who is ten years younger than I am is finding out the hard way.
clippist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
right around that age is when kids need to be taught the hard way how reality works, we adults born in the 80s and prier need kick that special snowflake, everyone is a winner crap to the curb and drive a mac truck over it
kragnor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was supposed to stop at 14? Maybe I should see a therapist or something. Though, she'd have to be pretty damn awesome to try and tell me that I'm mental. (Better be bangin too.)
When I was 13 my handle was $hArKy on StarCraft because I was hardcore as fuck. Notice the alternating caps and the dollar sign S. Fucking badass right there.
Sure, but it certainly wasn't because I thought of myself as "so random".
JorusC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the Penguin of Doom shtick is adorable compared to most of the crap 13 year olds try to be.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I nanny a 12 year old. Every single day is filled with exclamations like, "Well, I just added another song to the list of songs I've memorized on piano. This one is so long- it's really impressive that I was able to memorize it!" I usually just text everything she says to my friends to keep myself from saying something snarky in return.
Prime example you have there, we all want to be special in some way, you should nurture that but don't coddle or make them believe that they're the best. There is always someone that's better than you, you have to work to be better, you aren't born being better.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't. Mostly because of horrible self esteem issues.
I did go through a militant atheist phase, though. So pick which one is worse.
Yiksta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I dislike my 10-14 self
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And with the invention of tumblr, now everyone can be a special little snowflake! Yay.
It's not like your parents weren't showering you with attention, telling you how special you are, and generally blowing you out of proportion. Is it any wonder that when kids start to distance themselves from their parents and develop their individuality they just naturally assume they are the Kanye West of middle school?
Unless your parents were dicks. Or you didn't have parents or something. Then it wouldn't apply to you.
My parents taught me that life is hard and won't do you any favors, you have to earn and take what you need from life. At the same time they told me I was special and all that jazz.
alacrity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Early teens??!! I'm convinced most of reddit is STILL going though this.
blamb211 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, my friends and I were goofy and shit, but I never really felt like I was super special and things... That may have been my depression showing up, but still.
It's these types that completely ruined Invader Zim for me. Every "I'm random!" schmuck used Girr, or whatever that robot-in-a-dog-suit's name was, as their mascot and went on and on about how much they loved the show.
R1_TC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the same story with every decent Cartoon Network animation series that comes out, ironically it's all the people in their late teens and early twenties who think they're edgy for watching a kid's show (I do love me some Adventure Time though)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A better description would be to describe yourself as spontaneous. That sounds better and not like you trying to "be" something.
fbgfbg2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WOW!! cool! awesome!!!! those are things ppl (me lol :3) say to about you!! YES Im srs!!! but not all the time haha i like being random LOL so i wannted to ask u WAFFLE lol see? im random !!! hahahaahah r u laughing with me? :3 we should be friends if u r if ur not that ok 2 i guess... but ur still cool!!!!! hahahah anyway, ima RRREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLY big FAN! of urs :3 PUMPKINZ! lolz can i be in 1 of ur videos? im ok with not being the main charecter... i can be even in the background!! maybe i can say something funny like "omg he stole my taco! or something funny like that haha! ur videos r rly good and i want to be like u 1 day! man, i want to have lots of fans like u do! and then we can hang out together and donate 2 me... LOL ok anyway just feel free to reply if u want me in ur videos! if i dont reply its usally cause im offline... i can only use computer between 6 and 7.. mom doesnt want me staying up l8 but thats fine... (shes an evil evil witch right? LOL pancakes!!!!" im ur biggest fan btw! :P haha lol see u soon! PS: omg i wrote a lot LOL Pps: uh oh! the cakes r attacking!!!! Ppps: panckes lol Pppps: hahah if u laughed with my jokes send me a video of u (irl please) of your reaction i want to see your face when you laugh on my jokes! Ppppps: ur amazing keep up the good work partner Pppppps: im not a crazy stalker in case ur wondering... Ppppppps: hope we can be best friends one day!!!! PPpppppps: LOL PIE IS ON FIRE!!!!! Ppppppppps: YOUR THE BEST!!!! Pppppppppps: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH <---- me when i watch ur videos!!! Ppppppppppps: when i play videogames i pretend 2 be u cause being u is the best Pppppppppppps: my mom keeps yelling at me to get of... .. she doesnt understand us famous ppl right? haha Ppppppppppppps: i named my cat after u :3 it used to be called Mittens (my mom named it UGH such a lame name right?...) Pppppppppppppps: :3 Ppppppppppppppps: when im in school and bullies make fun of me... i turn slowly to them with a srs look on my face and say "im friends with Alex549us3" and then they get scared... then i say "he will kick ur guys hinies and ull be sorry..." and then they run LOL!!! Pppppppppppppppps: see you soon! Ppppppppppppppppps: when can we talk? can u come to my place in 10 minutes? i told my mom to wait for that long... she wont regret it when i get to meet u >:3 Pppppppppppppppppps: OMG someone just messaged me asking to donate... WHAT. A . NOOB. XD PPPpppppppppppppppps: i spelt "friends" wrong at the beginning but i fixed it! no need to worry hahaha TAKE THAT SPELLCHECK! Pppppppppppppppppppps: i turned around and pretened to have a roblox sword and hit my mom.... shes so scared now! LOLLLL NOOOOOOB!!!! Ppppppppppppppppppppps: theres a noob hAXxing your place atm.... im gonna fight back for u! LIKE A TRUE NINJA! Pppppppppppppppppppppps: i like banananas (lol not really ok?) Ppppppppppppppppppppppps: wooooooooooooow the haxxor just said that ur a noob... imgonna teach him a BIG lesson... Pppppppppppppppppppppppps: i just pictured in my head me and u having fun and laughing on the beach ahhaah one day it can be true :3 Ppppppppppppppppppppppppps: in minecraft i built a statue of you.... its not VERY good... you can forgive me right? Pppppppppppppppppppppppppps: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFLEZ!!!! Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: Pies our totally epic and those noobs r not like pie.... hahahah THEY WISH. Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: I wish my mom was cool like my gf.... my gf is hot and cool Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: hot and cool LOL that makes sense... NOT! like a waffleburger haha Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: im not lying about haaving a gf..... trust me :3 Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: i know u trust me cause YOUR AWESOME!!! Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: UR THE ONLY ONE I WATCH ON YOUTUBE!!! ok? no need to be jealous sheeeeesh.... Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: im kidding :p LOL did I get you? PPpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: im realy strong... i can beat up haxxers.... Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: do u have an arch nemesis? im gonna beat him up for you... Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: my arch nemesis is haxxers, BUT THEY DONT STAND A CHANCE!!! hahah and im ur sidekick so ur even stronger.... Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: Someone on youtube is copying ur videos... Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: can you tell me 5 things you like? :( Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: sorry im sad :( i have to get off computer... Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: CHEEEESE! Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: cha-ching- thats the sound of me making money in future with my fans giving me donations!!! Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bye bye now Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: i told my mom and she telled me i can have 5 more minutes :) yay! lets play a game? Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: hahaha can we hang out? ;) Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: Lets internet high five! ready? 1 2 3 HIGH FIVE! Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: my mom yelled at me for hitting the computer screen too hard >> LOL Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: imagine if u dont respond to this pm.... LOL that would be so akward! XDDDDD Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: stay awesome bros :3 Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: i updated my game, u can join now :3 Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: I have to go now :((((( sheds tears see u tomorow then! okay? bye!!! WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZWAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every guy has an ex that has said this.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:22:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ron_e123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
harleq01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, from my experience, one of the best compliments you can give to a girl is that they are so unique and special and different. Conversely, one of the comments to you can say to a girl is how normal and typical they are. I kid you not, every girl Iโve talked to with a remote ounce of self-esteem think they are very special and that they think theyโre so cool because they get along with dudes but not other girls.
"I'm so (insert any adjective)". I hate when people make declarations about themselves, especially if it has positive implications. The people who make these statements generally never are what they say they are.
Translation: Let me explain how I'm smarter than everyone else.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I used to be this guy. Totally stupid and craving attention all under the wanted guise of being unique and fun. I was fucking obnoxious. But my friend accidentally cured me. He tried to set me up with a girl who he said was like me. Holy shit. It took less than two minutes to see how fucking annoying I was. My personality changed instantly and permanently. I didn't know man.
Greetings, everyone. I am new. (One second โ let me get this spork out of the
way.) My name is Katy, but you can call me the Penguin of Doom. (Iโm laughing
aloud.) As you can plainly see, my actions have no pattern whatsoever. That is
why I have come here. To meet similarly patternless individuals, such as myself.
I am 13 โ mature for my age, however! โ and I enjoy watching Invader Zim
with my girlfriend. (I am bisexual. Please approach this subject maturely.)
It is our favorite television show, as it adequately displays stochastic
manners of behavior such as we possess.
She behaves without order โ of course โ but I wish to meet more individuals
of her and my kind. As the saying goes, โthe more, the merrier.โ
Ah, it is to laugh. Anyway, I hope to make many friends here, so please
comment freely.
Doom!
That is simply one of many examples of my random actions. Ha, ha. Fare
thee well. I wish you much love and waffles.
Exchange random for weird, nerdy, dorky and we have a winner.
I mean there are times when I'm like "yeah, I'm weird" but not because I want everyone to know that I'm weird. It's because people are usually staring blankly at me and I use it as a brush off for my most awkward social moments.
zebbodee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and "Ooooh I'm crazy me haha" from a person with a brightly coloured cartoon tie who will then go in to detail about the finer points of spreadsheet functions and the fundamental differences between cottage cheese and soft cheese. Though I'm sure some people might classify that as crazy.
Genuine random people just stare at you and go, "I'm normal, perfectly normal," while they shove dead squirrels into their backpacks.
Normal people have hobbies. Theirs is taxidermy.
...this one is going to ride a little Harley... and this one is going to be fighting a dragon... hehehehee.
Then they look at you.
NORMAL.
If you're nice they'll let you see the goat with two heads.
c-honda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unique, just like everyone else.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one makes me feel old. When my teenager started saying this a few years ago, I didn't realize it was a thing. I just thought he really didn't know what random meant.
Right the fuck on. Also, "OMG, that's so random!" "That was RANDOM!" "You'll love my friend Blake.--He's SO RANDOM!"
First of all, I'm sure I won't. And second, for someone who uses the word 'random' so frequently, Sarah, you don't really seem to have any fucking idea what the word actually means.
If this is early/mid teenhood hang in there. Itll pass soon and come back in a different form later. If this isn't about 14/15 years old then we have a problem...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So...you start shit at parties when you don't get attention?
Does anyone know the link to the profile of the girl that posted something similar to this?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even worse is when you're thinking about something and tell a friend either in person or over text and they say "that was so random" or "youre so random". Ugh.
whiznat ยท 865 points ยท Posted at 19:34:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase is attributed to Harry Gordon Selfridge. He never meant it to mean that customers have the right to abuse store employees. People who think it does are the real shitheads.
gnoani ยท 136 points ยท Posted at 20:48:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a society, we should embrace a shift towards stores being a little more liberal with kicking awful customers out into the fucking street.
Mmmmmm somewhat. We forget that the demographics that make up the customer also make up the employee. Too much power and some employee is gonna get his first power trip.
At the very least, if a customer is breaking a rule/law, the manager shouldn't reprimand the employee holding up the rule while caving to whatever ridiculous demands the customer has. Sure, not every screaming child will be kicked out, but at least kick out the one screaming kid that's destroying merchandise while the parent plays on their phone saying "kids will be kids".
rctsolid ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:39:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, you might find a lot of places do this already. I used to work in a supermarket, sometimes customers would request things which were simply unfeasible and completely unreasonable, so I'd just say no. They would complain to my manager and my manager would essentially tell them "tough shit".
I've had mostly awesome managers in the past. I remember my first manager would always stick up for her employees, and did enforce rules. Once a kid opened and ate some candy, the mother said she refused to pay for it because she didn't give her kid permission to do that. My manager said that she had to pay for the candy, or else she'd be banned from the store. Once a woman said she returned something (video rental, it was a decade ago) and she handed it to an employee, so the employee must have failed at scanning it. My manager started grilling the customer on which employee it was, unfortunately she said it was a man and we had an all-female staff at the time; that lady had to pay for the lost movie.
On the other hand, my manager felt the need to call me to her office and talk to me because a patient (I work healthcare now) complained that I didn't smile enough. I wasn't even helping her, I was sitting elsewhere in the room while a coworker helped her.
Some managers are awesome, some aren't. /r/TalesFromRetail can give you thousands of examples of managers doing shit like accepting expired coupons and writing up clerks as being rude for denying them, despite the fact that the same manager told them to never accept expired coupons.
For the smiling complaint...What are you supposed to do? Just sit at your computer smiling at it like a weirdo? What a weird complaint. A lot of people can look very serious if they're engrossed in their work, I know I do. But again, who cares if you're not dealing directly with a customer/patient.
I hate it when I'm super focused on work and people keep saying "What's wrong?" Or asking why I look so pissed or sad. I'm just focusing you fuck.
munky82 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is the old advice that if you want to walk somewhere and not be disturbed or stopped, hold a pen in the writing position and frown. Most people will think you are in the middle of something and won't disturb you.
I've gotten that too! Same exact thing. I'm just focusing so maybe my brow is furrowed and I'm not smiling but that doesn't mean nothing is wrong. I bet men never get bothered with this question. If a woman isn't smiling and upbeat then something must be wrong!
bortnib ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:36:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in finance doing administration so literally sitting in front of a computer typing stuff all day and my manager bought up the "issue" that i looked unhappy while at my desk working. I explained to him i cant help my resting bitch face...
Once a woman said she returned something (video rental, it was a decade ago) and she handed it to an employee, so the employee must have failed at scanning it. My manager started grilling the customer on which employee it was, unfortunately she said it was a man and we had an all-female staff at the time; that lady had to pay for the lost movie.
i was in line once at the local video store renting a movie (more than a decade ago). the customer in front of me was throwing a fit, yelling at the cashier about late charges for a movie he'd said he'd returned that was somehow now many months late, swearing up and down that he'd brought it back, distinctly remembered handing it to someone behind the counter, etc.
i stepped out of line from behind him, and went behind the counter. i was, i think, the acting assistant manager at the time. i looked at the late charge, and knew what happened.
"sir, is there any chance you accidentally brought this movie back to the wrong store? say, maybe one of our competitors?"
this didn't help, obviously. more anger, more professing that we were making things up and screwing him over.
"okay, well, that's all well and good, but somehow it ended up at the blockbuster on the other side of the city, and i know this for a fact because i personally picked it up from there and brought it here. i'm sorry, as far as i can tell these charges are valid, and i can't remove them. you're lucky i picked it up when i did, a few more days and it would have gone to collections..."
i probably could have done something about the charges if he wasn't an asshat.
We had a blockbuster across the street, so we each got each other's videos all the time. I loved it, I considered it a paid break to just stroll over outside in the fresh air.
We also got movies that had been bought. Something from a place like best buy that had no stickers on it, I'm assuming one person bought it and their spouse returned it by mistake. We'd wait a month or so, then divy them up between us. Sometimes the manager would split them between people who did did shitty jobs that were always being put off, worked inventory nights (25,000 individual movies in the place, it was a loooong night) as an extra prize, which was nice since I was too young to to drink one of the beers brought in. Thank you unobservant strangers, you bolstered my movie collection with such wonderful titles as The Whole Ten Yards and Cheaper By The Dozen (I hoped they watched them, cause I never did).
I just realized, what if people were returning such awful movies to us as a way of getting rid of them? They couldn't think of anyone else who would want Must Love Dogs, but they figured we could at least sell it or something? I knot it's not true, but it would totally make sense.
Every workplace differs. Some places are pretty good about dealing with asshole customers, but far too many of them just bow to their wishes because moneyz. I worked at a movie theater in high school and customers would blatantly rip us off on a daily basis, management didn't give a shit. It was ridiculous what people got away with.
I didn't know him but I've heard stories about out old manager. He used to kick customers out of the store. He always put his employees first.
There was a time where a customer insulted the person at customer service. So the manager lept over the 4 foot tall and 3 foot wide counter and got in their face and made them leave.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stores do what makes them the most money. It has nothing to do with culture, it's just about what businesses intrinsically are.
gnoani ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:25:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not all of them. Some stores are run under moral principles and care about the wellbeing of their employees, beyond their immediate value as profit-makers.
I think the basic idea of the phrase is, "You don't really, at any point, unless given no other choice, want to tell the customer to go fuck himself. He's here to give you his money. Try to accommodate him."
It was a marketing strategy. "Shop here at our store because the customer is always right!" they mean like if you want to wear white after Labor Day, not if you want to argue about prices with cashiers...who have no say in how or why items are prices.
This is another side effect of the minimum wage job culture that corporatism created. Those employees making 7 an hour don't see those people as customers, but the enemy to their progress andr sanity. Why should they care, they don't get jack if corporate service goals are met
Nah, those customers acting like assholes makes them the enemy of sanity. Work in a call center where you take first touch calls for a week and tell me you don't hate all of humanity at the end of each day.
_Bones ยท 1336 points ยท Posted at 19:04:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not used in the appropriate context anymore. Customers are right from a supply and demand, macroeconomic market forces perspective. The old lady who insists that the chalupa I brought her is not a chalupa, but some other thing I just made up, and clearly the restaurant employees don't know which foods are which, well she's just a dumb bitch hiding behind the spinelessness of lower management.
whoizz ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 19:21:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Corollary: The customer always thinks they're right.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:27:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Caveat: The type of customer who thinks they're always right is actually just a shitheel human that thinks it's always right, regardless of the context of the interaction involved.
gnoani ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:47:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's true of everyone period. We are all the protagonist in our own story. Even people like lab techs who are supposed to be running experiments watching out for their own misconceptions or failures aren't THINKING they are wrong, just aware it may happen. I don't think I'm wrong about something, I conclude I was mistaken once the facts are in.
"We Reserve The Right to Refuse Service to Anyone"
Why isn't that used more often?
Neri25 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 00:12:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Corporate doesn't have your back 9 times out of 10.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:42:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an Electrician, this is actually true. I can refuse to do work rather easily if it's a safety concern, and that can include demanding that my customer be deloused.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:32:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:23:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't have adequate PPE to be anally violated today. Yeah, the company doesn't provide that and I left mine at home.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not even true anymore.
zoso1012 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is as long as you don't give a reason
jinxjar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:29:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait -- was it one of those lines that was used in context a total of once, at the time of its birth, then never again?
paralog ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:33:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, I think this applies to most phrases in this thread.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:17:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about if someone bitches that the potato you gave them is too small (I work at Wendy's). Maybe it shouldn't have but that pissed me off so damn much. I wanted to slap the shit out of that little old lady. Same kinda person that would call our generation entitled. Some goddamn bullshit.
The federal treasurer of the country I live in call the time my generation lives in "The Age Of Entitlement." This is also the same motherfucker who believes that the easiest way to own a house is to "get a good job", as well as claiming that public transport isn't worth funding because everyone has cars - except poor people, they don't have cars because they haven't got a "good job".
Damn it shits me.
Hateborn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:43:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The original context was an emphasis on taking customer complaints seriously and working to resolve them if they were reasonable. Over decades, the original meaning was lost and too many people try to take it literally now, taking it to mean that the customer can do no wrong. It was always meant to be a slogan championing taking the customer seriously, not capitulating to their every demand.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right. It means if customers prefer red widgets and you only sell blue, you find a way to sell red widgets.
It's like when they first designed pickup trucks. They were for work, but people liked them for personal use, so they started designing for personal use.
I like the way you said macroeconomic market forces perspective, and then chalupa. It's Iike you're some sweet breaded economist of death.
gereffi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:28:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that is the real context. The owner of a restaurant wants to do whatever he can to make sure that his customers have a good time and come back. That means that if you cook a steak medium well and the customer wants it to be cooked more, despite asking for medium rare, you cook the steak more. If the customer changes his mind on what he wants after the cooks started making his order, it's generally better to start over and make the customer happy rather than say no and never have the customer return again.
It's not a great phrase to hear if you work in the service industry, but it makes sense from the owner's perspective.
The old lady who insists that the chalupa I brought her is not a chalupa, but some other thing I just made up, and clearly the restaurant employees don't know which foods are which, well she's just a dumb bitch hiding behind the spinelessness of lower management.
Can not agree more. One thing I've learned working in restaurants for the past 4 years or so, if you complain enough to the manager, you will usually get your shit comped because they don't want to deal with it anymore. That or your food remade for free.
I remember reading the origin of that phrase, it doesn't mean the customer can do no wrong, it means that the customer gets what they say they want even though a different product would be better for them.
nowonmai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Knows what they think they want.
BW_Bird ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:30:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a call center. Got that line all the time.
My automatic comeback is "that phrase made Elmer Fudd chase Bugs Bunny around a restaurant for 15 minutes"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:05 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
BW_Bird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:24 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the comeback or the actual Looney Tunes episode?
I could get the link for the episode but I actually came up with the quote myself :)
Torvaun ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:01:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst thing about that phrase is the customer heard it.
eldeeder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:26:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this phrase is more suited towards restaurants and idiotic customers seem to think it applies to physics as well. I think the way that phrase is intended is that a customers perception is their reality. If they say their steak isn't medium rare, it's not medium rare. Now if a hotel tells you they have no rooms left, they have no rooms left.
FAYZ18 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:21:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at Walmart as a CSM. My store manager loves the phrase "make the customer happy." Basically that always results in us losing money. He gave a customer half a buggy of school supplies the other day because her new credit card had an ICC chip and was asking for a PIN number. We couldn't bypass it on our side. She was throwing a fit when he walked up. He smiled and said that she could have the stuff for free because "of the inconvenience we were providing."
"I'm sorry, your card was denied. Do you have another form of payment?"
"Bull shit! I have over $13,000 dollars in my account. Swipe it again. This is outrageous."
I gladly swipe it again and tell them the same thing.
TheNonis ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:18:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What a coward. This is how people get credit card fraud.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
FAYZ18 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:01:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Our store manager wants to give the store away. One comanager will give the customer anything because he doesn't want it to get back to to the store manager. The other is a rock hard bitch. Half our assistants cater to the customer while the other half stand by policy. Then we have our asset protection manager constantly saying that he's going to get everyone on the same page in the store when he hands out new policy. It's just a giant cluster fuck. My previous store had everyone on the same page.
As a former chic fil a employee this phrase was the bane of my existence. When people know you have to do anything to appease them they will try all manner of things
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:48:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not meant to be literally true, it's just a policy so you keep customers happy and coming back to spend money. Everyone knows the customer is likely wrong.
Had someone use that one me working tech support. He wanted a replacement phone right away, without any repair taking place. Told him it wouldn't happen. Wanted to speak to a manager, which I refused as he wouldn't get another answer.
"is the customer always right?? "
"i won't transfer you to a manager because you're not going to get another answer"
"IS THE CUSTOMER ALWAYS RIGHT?"
"in this instance? No"
"oh fuck right off"
He hung up. Felt good. Yes he was a brit. Proper cunt.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:41:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a Managed Services Provider. I find that it's a good guideline to avoid faux pas' that the customer is never wrong, but they're not always right.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:41:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand how people don't understand the intention of this quote. It means the basically do what you can to appease the customer to get the sale. It makes sense. It doesn't mean the customer is literally always right or that you have to take their shit.
ikorolou ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:22:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ummm no? It means you should sell what people are buying. The customer always is right about what a store should stock because the customer is the one buying the thing that's in stock.
The customer is always right about what should be being sold to them
Try working at kohls with that shit. I worked over nights because I hate people; shoppers. But by the store rules everyone had to work at least once during the day. A lady comes to the register with a shirt I remember hanging up and I know the price was $60 and when I told her she said "oh well it said it was only 30" i the. Told her how she was wrong and the store manager came over, apologized for my horrible actions and let her pay 30 for it. I then showed my manager that the lady was bullshitting and brought her to the shirts priced at $60. She said "That doesn't matter, the customer is always right." And walked away.
Fuck that place.
109876 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It really should just be: "The market is always right".
Individual customers can be absurd, but when a bunch of individuals make up a market, you can't fight their collective demands.
Fuck. I had a customer use this on me. While I was cleaning an absolutely destroyed fitting room. Because she was too lazy to walk the 10 feet to the other fitting room. And she was like "THE CUSTOMER COMES FIRST HOW DARE YOU DO THIS"
Why the fuck do you think I'm cleaning this fucking room? To make your life harder you entitled bitch?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:15 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Customers are the dumbest fucking people on the planet. I'm convinced that getting behind a grocery cart must lower one's iq by at least 30 points.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:16:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a McDonald's recently and a cashier said this to a customer she was helping.
She was obviously new, both the cashiers working at the time were (young, taking a long time to take orders, giggling.) The customer was very helpfully working along with the cashier. She said "Well, the customer is always right" and the customer responded, "Well, sometimes they're not."
That's not to be taken literally. It means that the goal a business should strive for is to make its customers happy, whatever it takes. Customers are the ones making them money, after all.
Our huge, hyper PC company even made this idea one of its "core values". And yes, we're expected to bend over backwards for our customers, but that's how it's supposed to be everywhere.
ZenRage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mtdnml ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The money is always right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a phrase, more of a store policy. If you work in customer service, as I have for many years, the best way to handle a customer is to try and make them happy. Even if they're not right, act as if they are.
I really like something I read that stated that the phrase is correct as long as a "customer" is someone who makes you money.
Ergo, if they aren't making you money, they aren't a customer.
I will not give you this for half off just because you think you should get it for half off, I would lose money. If that's representative of the kind of business you bring, I want no part of it.
I always thought this was more of a warning from management to retail/service employees. Like, "Yeah she's stupid as hell, but she's also paying us, so just act like the customer is always right so I don't have to fire you as an example or something to save face when she complains." I didn't think anyone actually thought the customer is always right, right?
God do I hate when people say 'always', then treat you like an a-hole when you point out the obvious flaw. Like something that happens once a week that breaks their rule.
My interpretation of this statement is not that the customer is actually always right, but may as well be. Basically, I think it means that you won't get anywhere productive by challenging customers directly regarding their perception of reality. All that tends to bring is more trouble. Better to come alongside them and work with them. Don't convince them they're wrong; instead, convince them that what you collaborate on was their idea!
Just finished a motivational interviewing book, so your mileage may vary.
Ironically it was the businesses themselves that started it. It was a way to try to motivate employees to give good customer service. It was just a catch phrase. But then the customers themselves caught wind of it, which isn't too hard when the people working there and hearing it every day were also customers, and it spiraled out of control. It became a policy instead of a kitschy phrase.
Now customers expect it and the companies tend to give in and the employees are the ones caught in the middle. The employees get grief on both ends because the company expects them to deescalate the complaints before having to give into their demands and the customers expect the employees to give into their demands. When the employee tries to uphold actual policy then the customer, who is always right, demands to see a manager. The manager gives in, makes the employee look bad, encourages the "customer is always right" behavior in the customer, and the vicious cycle continues.
Much like 'A rolling stone gathers no moss' [do not change for the sake of change], 'The customer is always right' was meant to put stubborn executives in their place. It doesn't matter what you tell the customer they want. What they buy is what matters...ergo, the customer is always right.
I once had a cabbie who had retired from setting up and managing the small cafeterias at Greyhound bus stations. I asked him if he liked it.
He told me one of the things he liked about the job was that he didn't have to assume that the customer was always right and could kick them out of the station as was often necessary.
"When you are managing a small cafeteria in a Greyhound Bus station late at night, not only is the customer not always right, the customer is almost always wrong..."
Places like Chick-fil-a have that type of attitude and it works extremely well for them. When they have a mean customer they kind of kill them with kindness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you get down to it, good customer service is about enabling customers to be entitled.
Yea, at my grandfather's company it was "The customer is always right, even when they're wrong." Might be worse but in general he built a successful company and people in the company seem to admire him.
bqnguyen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who works in IT, the customer is almost NEVER right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read somewhere that the original quote was " the customer is never wrong"
I'll do it however you want, but don't assume doing things the way you want if you didn't tell me how you want it done. Sorry our asparagus isn't big long stalks, we chop it because it's easier to eat and looks different. If you want big long stalks I can do that but don't be mad when you didn't ask how its served.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely am on my best behavior at every store and restaurant. Just because of how absolutely shitty the people I've dealt with are both customers and management teams alike.
Working retail and food industry really changes you.
Ironically, the only people who can actually effectively fire every single employee, including the shareholders, are the customers. They don't buy, then you, Sir, don't own a business for long.
lissit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever people say that I always think, "then why are you asking my advice?" (I work in skincare.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like my manager's version; "The customer is almost always wrong, we just let them think they're right until they leave."
arnsonj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The guy who invented that died an extremely rich man
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I understand that. If the customer wanted a small and you've given them a large, go get them a small. Having said that, if you've done your best and they're still complaining, fuck them
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God, and companies thrive on this. If this never happened, I'd be beating customers for being such rude, depressing assholes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not actually a thing in Europe, only American, or so I've heard. Yeah we have all these bitchy mom's who think complaining until they get what they want and then celebrating it is awesome. No. I hate them for that
rylos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that was a sarcastic take on customers demanding the universe for $5.
Or in the case of software development, not knowing what they want, changing what they want on a whim, not having their shit together but pointing imaginary flaws in professionals' work processes, etc ("why do you need written requirements, I'm telling you is that not enough", "what do you mean sign off on requirements, wont you make even small changes f I ask you," etc)
It is being taken seriously and quoted around.
that's crazy.
Andker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That statement can be totally summed up by something said by Henry Ford:
If I listened to my customers I would have made a faster horse.
ai1267 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me and some friends always used this in the context of "Be humble in your interaction with riled-up customers". But we always phrased it as:
"The customer is always right. But that doesn't mean he gets what he wants."
"Here's a coupon" (expired 5 years ago)
"Ma'am your coupon is expired."
"But is says October 1!"
"October 1st of 2010....''
"This is preposterous! Now what am I going to do? Let me speak to your manager!"
manager comes in, looks at coupon
"Ma'am your coupon is expired."
"RANT RANT RANT NEVER COMING TO WALMART AGAIN BLAH BLAH BLAH OUTRAGE"
This phrase isn't understood anymore. It's meant to be a mentality of the salesman, not a bill of rights for the customer. In fact, the original meaning doesn't have anything to do with the customer. It's a sales technique where the salesman manipulates the customer through flattery and submission, until the customer essentially thinks it was their idea.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
While I don't think this is the original context of that phrase, I've always taken to another way. It's not that the customer is always right, but you never tell the customer they're wrong.
Take this example. A customer, Alice, shops at a grocery store several times a week, spending about $100 each time. Now Alice has a problem with a price, product X was supposed to be cheaper. Now I could argue with Alice and say no, it was actually this product directly above product X that was that price, and you know what I would probably be right. But you know what I get for being right, a pissed off customer, possibly having Alice ask for a manager, and my manager just giving her the price anyway.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if Alice was right or wrong, because proving her wrong will probably just piss her off. That's why its better from all angles to just let the customer assume their right.
As a disclaimer, I know the place i work at (a grocery store) gives me more power to adjust prices than most places give their cashiers, hell, "making decisions like an owner" is literally in the training, so I know not all people can make these changes so easily.
Tldr: It doesn't matter who's right if you piss off the customer.
Nah, the customer is not always right, but if they are just asking for the minimum of service and you act like they are asking for blood, then you might want to evaluate yourself. Maybe you are not in the right business.
Polciu ยท 3339 points ยท Posted at 15:44:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anyone who does internet speak in real life, so annoying
"Wow that's such a meme! Implying you haven't derped over 9000! so edgy!"
katasian ยท 1312 points ยท Posted at 16:31:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only people I've ever heard speak like this were 9-14 year olds trying to sound cooler.
I'd like to give a fair word to Shia LeBeouf. That fucker knew exactly what he was doing.
Jwpt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:49:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recently climbed to the top of a firetower on the highest peak in my area, the view up the last flight of stairs is of a Shia quote on the wall of the top frame.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:54:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the trick to making a meme, don't try. Or don't appear to be trying
I don't think they show E3 conferences on TV. It's just streamed online. That way, everyone who saw knew just how awful it was. I'm not so sure the general TV watching demographic knows about meme culture.
Pyundai ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:47:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I closed that fucking video after the term "lifesize meme". I'm sure it got worse though.
I'm weak. I can weather through gore, but for the love of god I cannot stand cringing from vicarious embarrassment.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:48:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually blushing on her behalf, that was so cringey.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:24:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When she said, "You look insanely hot", I seriously thought she was referring to the excessive amount of leather clothing he was wearing that would have made him feel hot and sweaty.
Ugh, they're the ones who have that really annoying gal host their shows, right? It feels like she deliberately goes out of her way to throw in "shit" and "ass" at random times to make the presentation feel young and edgy.
Unknow3n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly
C_los_23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And 2014
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Better than Microsoft "TV, TV, TV, TV, Call of Duty, Call of Duty, TV, Call of Duty, TV, Call of Duty, Sports, Sports, TV, Sports, Call of Duty, Sports, Sports, TV, Call of Duty, xBox go home"
I'm staying with a friend temporarily and his friend from college is in town for his flight physical. At one point, this kid took a snapchat and asked "what meme should I put on this?" He's 21 or 22. He's got a legitimate shot at being a pilot and dropping bombs on people
I don't, its a phase, he is fairly well read for his age but is at a point where he'd rather fit in than distance himself by showing his extensive vocabulary.
My mother talks like that. She actually uses L-O-L in face to face conversations.
katasian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry. Is it better than her saying lawl? Haha
Fgame ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've lost friends by turning 'lol' into a verb.
'Yeah I'm loling too man'
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This girl in my physics class last year was a junior (I was a senior) + she used the word "derp" multiple times a day, every day. She was also dating a high school drop-out that was 12 years older than her + who lived with her, + she played Yu Gi Oh! instead of doing class work, but that's beside the point.
You actually heard 9 year olds say that? in what situation, I just do it cause my only 3 friends do it too.
katasian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some kids I used to babysit for would talk to one another that way, but loudly, as though they wanted to be heard. I also heard similar stuff from some "junior" camp counselors (13-14 yr olds) while I was a camp counselor.
nahfoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man once when my mom used to play wow the router or something wasn't working. My brother and I were looking at it and she said "is the wire dc'd?"... we both slowly turned around to look at her like "the fuck??"
I don't know, my girlfriend's 30 year old sister says shit like "O-M-G that's so perf" and other fucking annoying text talk and unnecessarily shortened/abbreviated words, but she actually verbalizes it, so she's not far off. Makes me cringe.
Mazetron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard 15-19 year olds say "lol" on occasion. Or rather this one guy I know.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my friends do it ironically a bunch. Although I don't know if 'yolo', 'swag', and '420' are internet things or stuff which became popular in some other context and just happen to be used in the internet a lot because they are popular.
My friends and I speak like this ironically, mocking everyone who does it.
But we do it so frequently that we don't know if it's ironic anymore.
HELP
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend group thinks memes are the funniest shit ever and they laugh and their friends laugh and I just die a little inside and pray that god is real and he'll drop a plane on their houses
TSED ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:34:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say lawl verbally when the situation calls for it.
ETNxMARU ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:11:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, sometimes I use the words "dank meme" in an ironic way because it pisses off my girlfriend.
I started out like you, now I say 'Nice meme!' instead of natural laughter, I try my hardest to creatively bring internet culture into real life conversations, the whole lot. Only after reading this comment chain did I realise people probably think I'm a weirdo.
My brother plays along, that's what allowed it to go to this point. Once a friend gets in on it, there's no going back from the memes man.
I'm trying to quit, I really am. I'm trying to keep it down to just casual references lately, but a couple bad days and I can see it spiralling out of control.
caelum19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just try not to get distracted, keep on that road.
mrhelton ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:25:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was at an indoor waterpark with some friends, and we were watching some dude on one of those surfing things. He fell, and one of my friends yelled "EPIC FAIL" and probably 50 people just stopped and stared. I wanted to die
Yep, this. The first time you catch yourself saying something like that around someone who is not one of your close buddies it should be a wake up call.
mrhelton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Me and my friend used to get bored at work and talk all ghetto or whatever, then it just sorta started happening sometimes outside of work.
oops
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:54:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same boat. In too deep. Don't even use the word "joke" anymore, it's always "meme".
I started using it ironically once in a blue moon, and then it started to become a problem. I really don't mean to do it anymore it just sort of happens.
Holy shit yeah. Met a girl a couple of weeks ago who did this shit CONSTANTLY. Also would often say "tbh" and then say something instead of to be honest. Often times these would follow each other in succession. Example:
Tbh I just really love the weather today! #sunkissed.
I'm guilty of this. My friends and I tend to say dank meme more often than is healthy. But I guess it's spoken somewhat ironically so it's not as bad..
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:01:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just got back from a convention this weekend for a fandom that has its roots in the internet (seriously, if not for the internet, this fandom wouldn't exist), so we're all already pretty meme-y. We'll take quotes from the show and movies out of context and turn them into in-joke memes, but about 90% of us are on the internet 90% of the time, so we do tend to cross-meme.
Anyway, as many here may know, the Shia LeBeouf "inspirational video" thing went viral a while back. Sure enough, the entire weekend was filled with random shouts of "JUST DO IT!!!!!" I went from not really caring about the video (still haven't seen any iteration of it) and thinking the "Actual Cannibal Shia LeBeouf" song is funny to actually kind of hating Shia LeBeouf over the course of three days.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:38:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why wouldn't you name the convention? I don't understand reddit's obsession with telling really vague stories.
Nadril ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 20:29:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Certain stigma that comes with being part of certain fandoms. I don't want to risk being downvoted to oblivion for telling a relevant story just because people decided to focus on the fact that I belong to this fandom and not the content of the post.
TL;DR - the point of the story is the bits that are relevant to OP's example, not that I belong to a fandom.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:05:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually kind of hilarious. As long as he wasn't screeching "JUST DO IT" at the top of his lungs every five seconds, I'd probably commend him on his cosplay. Pretty creative.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. No one worth talking to gives a shit that you're a brony.
You need to be comfortable with your pedophilia. /S
That may be the funniest thing I have read all day. Thanks for that.
Honestly, I just dislike mentioning it outright because a lot of people don't even bother to read what I wrote, they just automatically downvote me for daring to mention MLP outside of /r/MyLittlePony. I love being a part of the fandom, wouldn't have spent over $400 on the trip to BronyCon if I didn't, sometimes the closed-minded idiots just wear on me a bit.
Pr3fix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like exactly the kind of person the OP is describing..
"Lel" and "kek", instead of "haha" or "lol'. When people say those two online makes me instantly hate them. If they say it irl... they probably don't have any friends.
AmbiNt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend who would not stop speaking in 4-chan language. "Tfw" and "implying" we're likely the start of almost any sentence. Drove me crazy.
Ironic memeing's become more obnoxious than actual memes. All of it is just a giant annoying circlejerk of "DANK MEME BRO 420 NOSCOPE DOOT DOOT MR SKELTAL me too danks" etc. and the people who yell it around and keep upvoting other people who do it are no better than any 13-year-old that finds repeated ME GUSTA faces on 9Gag funny. And it's always the exact same fucking thing - someone says "dank" or "meme" and the world's circlest of jerks springs into action.
Well I guess I'm guilty of this sometimes and I'm 20. Woops, I better stop making jokes about ping.
eldeeder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit... You hit the nail right on the head. If someone says "Ohhhh EMMM GEEEE" out loud in a conversation, I literally walk away. Unless she's hot.. There are rules here..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that I can openly say shit like "ayy lmao" with because I know we both browse 4chan.
But nobody else has heard me repeat what I hear too much online.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone at my apartment talks like this constantly. It's absolutely fantastic, although ironic.
ashishvp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm edgemaster(over)9000 Kappa , you are so ResidentSleeper 4Head
gears32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instant angry twitch every time
lawebley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I felt embarrassed a little when watching the show Mr.Robot when the protagonist said, "Why did you want to do this AFK?" Using AFK as a term for meeting personally. I'm pretty sure no-one in history has used AFK in this manner. At least, that is my hope.
I still sometimes say "brb" or that I have to take a bio when I'm gonna go shit. Several years of WoW raiding will do that to you =/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My SO did the "over 9000" thing when we were getting stoned in a park. The girl we were with was taking pictures and posting them to snapchat and he told her to put "highness over 9000" on it. She didn't get the reference but she did it anyway.
I do this with some close friends. It's really stupid, but that's the whole point.
Now, internet references/memes all the time? No. There was a guy in one of my classes that would reference rage comics. To everyone. All the time. I winced every time he opened his mouth.
LOTM42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just got back from the ICU. You gave me an aneurysm.
thebbman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Played a game of Magic the Gathering with these two guys once in a large multiplayer game with another friend. They would constantly say, "It's k." the entire damn time we played. I avoided them like the plague after that.
I was coming out of a rough time socially, and uhh, it took me way too long to hear how retarded it sounded irl. Even just saying something like "irl" is annoying irl.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy who does this. Its pretty obvious that he has low self esteem and simply wants to be accepted by what he perceives as a cool community. He doesn't really think for himself, he just regurgitates phrases and sound bites that are so circlejerky they hurt. I like him, as annoying as he can be, and I really hate that he thinks he doesn't have the confidence to be himself.
The first thing is quickly becoming normal to say in everyday conversation, at least when discussing actual memes. For instance, I was talking to my sister about how people online were photoshopping Hilary Clinton in similar ways. I told her the term for that was a "meme" and she didn't believe me; she felt that because the term came for the internet, it wasn't a legitimate one. Later on I was watching an episode of VEEP in which the eponymous Vice President finds out that she's become the subject of a photoshop meme because of an unflattering picture of her surfacing online, and they literally refer to the fad as a meme in the show. I took the opportunity to go, "I told you so!" to my sister, who finally admitted I was right.
Coworker: lol!
Me: what did you just say? Did you just say "lol?" In real life? Did you ever think of the consequences? Have you ever noticed how you are not on the internet, you pathetic little vermin? I will scrub you off the face of the earth and erase any form of indecency that could be remotely associated with you how dare you even consider that phrase how dare you even waste my time with your "memes" you have just proven that humanity can reach new lows the likes of which cannot have a conceivable recovery your existence is just another grim reminder that the world is in constant turmoil and nothing but dread and despair will ever rear their ugly faces in constant reminder to all of humanity I ought to bring you down right where you stand and just do the world a favor everyone will thank me I wish I could drag you to a subway tunnel and beat you for nine minutes straight get the hell off this planet before you start world war 3 you sick little shit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically the whole dialogue in Life is Strange.
"You hella saved my life!" "Yes, she almost killed herself, such sad." "...Dank og kush..." "Let's talk bidness."
I don't disagree, but you should know that the word "meme" predates the Internet by quite a ways.
It was originally a term from the anthropology literature, IIRC.
amanitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've accidentally said "brb" in real life. I've even accidentally said "lol" when I realized I didn't laugh and my brain fucked up when I tried to chuckle.
So that must make Internet fake life right, why else specify
So i could hypothetically go on Facebook and say I'm going to shoot up school. Because after all Internet isn't real life, why would anything i say here have consequences.
Can i call you horrible names? I mean you're just a person on the Internet you're not from real life.
Internet is used pretty much dialy in our lives. A lot of people have phones with them to check up on stuff. Or they can contact people to make plans. Friendships are born on here and sadly ended too. I can order batteries to come to my house if i need em to. I have access to tones of knowledge on here
It's usually never even an awkward moment until they say that too. Thanks for posting this.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:04:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love Key & Peele but haven't seen that one before - thanks for posting!
I know SO MANY people who do that, which is why I have turned into a shy person who avoids social events at all costs. "What do you do for fun?" "I like to do lots of arts and crafts, I've also recently taken up kayaking...What about you?" "Ha! Okay...alright..." (Translation: I don't have any hobbies and cannot add to this conversation)
kapxis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAHA. I had a work friend dating one of the waitresses we both worked with. She would say this, at least 3 times per shift. Often when nothing was actually awkward.
She said it like, "awwk-waaaaaard". We all eventually started mocking here, exaggerating the way she would say it, making wound like a parrot squawk. Squawk-waaaard.
She was a bitch. Work friend eventually dumped her, and she quit. We still occasionally reference her "awk-waaaaaard" almost 8 years later. And now anytime I hear someone say "awkward" this bitch immediately comes to mind.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for sharing
Smien ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:27:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People obsessed about things being awkward, is awkward.
When my nephew was three, this was his favorite word for a good month. And he was brilliant at using it, always right in a lull in conversation. Only he could pull it off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OldWolf2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ockward
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love when people say this because they are usually severely self-conscious and I can easily make them super nervous and anxious just by standing or sitting near or next to them without talking. Just about my entire family is Finnish so I find it very normal and relaxing sit silently with other people.
Its also very useful for extracting information from most people. The less you say, the more blanks they fill in and the better information you get. It also allows you to better organize and catalog the possibilities and formulate plans and responses.
My brother once had a possibly-ADD friend over for dinner. The kid talked constantly and anytime there was a 2-second pause, he said "AWKWARD..." and then resumed running his mouth. Our family doesn't talk a hell of a lot during meals, so the kid's auctioneer impression was more awkward than any pause possibly could be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone said that when we were being introduced for the first time recently. Yeah, we're introducing ourselves so that it isn't awkward you fucking try hard. No wonder you were adopted.
Hey gramps, next month I'll be celebrating my 252 month since birth. That means I'll be able to consume alcohol, legally, in the United States. I hear many go out and celebrate their 252 month, and I would like to ask. What kind of drinks do you enjoy?
Woot Woot! Mine is a well rounded number. 390 months old! I'm gonna celebrate all month long. You guys are invited to my 400 month celebration in ten months!
st_ryder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SkyPork ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 21:52:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worse than pedantic if you ask me. Almost, "breeding has elevated my comprehension to a new level, and with that has come a whole new lexicon of lingo that I demand you acknowledge."
It doesn't help that all baby clothes and toys are labelled in months. Some will say years but most don't. So I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and just think they're saying it because everything in their child's life is labelled that way.
Edit: eh I didn't really mean to respond to your comment it was meant for the people above you. Going to leave it anyway
I agree- I always tried to convert to years in my head but especially when they are under two years old, so much stuff is labeled/geared toward how many months they are, you just kinda get used to thinking that way.
It's like giving recipes or measurements on reddit- I look up the Celsius or metric ones and give a conversion, but I don't think that way on my own because I have no other reason to use it- everything in my daily life is Farenheit or cups or yards, etc.
What pisses me off though is when I buy clothing that will say "12 to 24 months". Motherfucker...that's 1-2.
merme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is because context is important. A month is very important time frame for a baby's development. Anything you need for the baby is measured in months because of that.
That doesn't mean everything about the baby should be in months. Telling someone your baby's age for example doesn't matter as much unless they're a doctor. So you shouldn't use months when talking with anther person about the baby.
Eh, not really. Anyone who has ever had children or handled children will count in months, as it is the norm (for a good reason) - which is... um... an overwhelmingly significant proportion of the general population.
merme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say it is what they do. I'm saying once your kid hits 3 years, just say three years old. Some random guy you're talking to doesnt need to know "37 months".
Of course but they do have ones that say 18-24mos and 2T is actually bigger. I would probably think anyone who was calling their child 25 months old to be an idiot.
I honestly think the system is ridiculous. I don't think I've ever bought clothes for my nieces/nephews that matched the age they actually were. I suppose it's the most accurate though.
I think for most parents it's actually that you are supposed to count months for about the first two years of their life to know how their development is coming along, that's how my pediatrician refers to my kids age, that's how my daycare refers to their age, that's how every book and every article about parenting refers to kids age when they are young. We get used to referring to their age in months so when people ask us about it, that's what we say.
Kind of weird to think of it as: "breeding has elevated my comprehension to a new level, and with that has come a whole new lexicon of lingo that I demand you acknowledge." It's literally just an age stated in months, nothing hard to understand about that.
trigg ยท 146 points ยท Posted at 23:08:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's one thing to state their age in months, it's another to tell someone "Uh, no." if they state their name in terms of years. One is being a parent, the other is being an ass. In the example giving, she was being an ass.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:06 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
exactly.
eketros ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:17:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Counting age in months makes sense at that age. I think the issue is the part about demanding other people use months. If I told someone my kid was 17 months old, and they said "oh so about a year and a half?", then I think the correct answer there would be "yes".
True, but what if someone asked your age and you said 25 and they said, "oh, so 2 decades and a half." Would it truly be that awful to correct them with what is considered the norm in how to refer a 25 year olds age?
As someone who has lost track of my own age, and had to sit down and do the math, there isn't any way I'd be able to keep track of someone else's age to the month.
damntree ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:42:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I just google, "how old am I?" There's a nice calculator.
Its all about the situation. Talking to a daycare or pediatrician makes sense to use specific terms. Talking to your coworker that is just trying to create nice conversation? Fuck it, they're a year and a half.
Sshh... don't interfere with the reddit hivemind bashing of parents and children. We are supposed to be ashamed for being involved in the continuation of our species and occasionally ruining their wonderful childless lives.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:28 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha! hey man, if you wanna have kids, all the power to ya! Just don't expect me to refer to their age in months after a year old.
It's a societal norm, so it's really your choice to break convention. Beyond that, makes no difference to me. Just don't expect people you meet in life not to point it out.
Still it sounds obnoxious to say to someone who can't tell the difference between 12 and 13 months. You wouldn't like it if people with other jobs were that annoying when you talked to them.
Sure, count their age in months to your paediatrician, your GP, the paramedics, whoever else may have a professional need to know your child's age in months. To some random person inquiring, hell even your own family, we don't give a fuck about the particulars of what stage of development they're at.
About how long ago, roughly mind you, did you force this screaming shit machine/money pit out of your loins, forever altering the course of your life?
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:37 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We don't tell people that so that they know what developmental stage our kids are at, we tell people that because it's their age. If you don't give a shit about how old someone's kid is, then why ask in the first place? I don't go around yapping to people about my kids unless they ask. Just like you don't give a shit about how many months they are, I don't give a shit that it bothers you. I'm not going to adjust the way I state my kids age just because some people don't like it for some weird reason, it's not like it's offensive or anything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for them. 13 months = just over a year. They can deal with it and keep their developmental shit nobody cares about to themselves, or those who specifically ask.
See, I don't have kids and I'm not sure I want any but if you have every been around kids that age you'd realize that there is a significant difference. Over a year old might be the difference between a walking and talking little human and a trash bin for food. The added benefit of knowing developmental stages if that you can judge this much harder if they are behind.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:52:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh for god's sake, really? You're wasting valuable brain space on this?
It's a common way to refer to a baby's age up until 2. Every parent, every teacher, every doctor, every toy, every diaper, every piece of clothing, every EVERYTHING refers to a baby in months because they develop so fast that what a 4 month old does/needs/wears/eats bears little resemblance to what a 13 month old does/needs/wears/eats.
Who mentioned anything about referring to a 4 month old and a 13 month old as the same thing? The poster was talking someone correcting "just over a year old" to "13 months", when both are equally true.
I think the 20 to 50 analogy is a poor one, but only because he/she did a poor job of explaining why. If we are talking physically on a visual level, I would probably say something more like the difference between a 25 year old and a 35 year old. Developmentally, they are changing a lot more than that though. Every month is a cognitive leap. Every month they are drastically gaining new physical skills. Those are things you can't really appreciate until you spend time around kids.
Around 12 months, most babies will be good at crawling and babbling. They might be taking their first steps, but they will be tumbling a lot. But, you may find that by 15 months, they will be really good at walking and running, responding to commands, using real words to communicate as well as pointing to things to express need or curiosity. 3 months can be all it takes to make the difference between human potato and a small, vibrant, interactive person.
I think this is the point the commenter was trying to make.
But it's also all a matter of perspective. Many adults look down on children and simply think of them in terms of baby, child, teenager. But children also look up at adults and just think adult, old person. As a child, you often don't really perceive the difference between a 20, 30, or 40 year old. Once you start getting grey hair or start to go bald, then they understand that you are in an age group that separates you between adult and elderly person. And maybe that's why you seem to think that no average person can tell the difference between a 12 and 15 month of toddler. Just sayin'.
There's an obvious difference between a 1 year old and a 1.25 year old. I'm sorry that your below-moderately-functioning brain can't tell the difference.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:37:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's petty as fuck, and in full context could either be a humble brag or a pre-emptive defense, both of which are annoying.
"No, he's 13 months. You don't get it but a month is a lot in development terms."
translation 1: he's VERY smart for his age, ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE IS SMART.
"No, he's 13 months. You don't get it but a month is a lot in development terms."
translation 2: he might seem a little slower than a 14 month old, but that's because a month makes a HUUUUUUGE difference when it comes to babies and he'll be just fine.
Gorfoo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am euphoric; not because of any phony intellect, but because of my own breeding.
jbw10299 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:22:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I try to code switch between fellow parents of toddlers and the rest of the world. My son is as big as a three year old but still hasn't hit his second birthday. For most people, I just say he's two or almost two. For parents of toddlers, he's 23 months. Parents often get judged pretty harshly by other parents if their kid is not "keeping up with different milestones. This is why parents get hypercorrect with age. Yes it's annoying, but after hearing that your child should be screened for autism a hundred times because he looks 6 to 10 months older and is non verbal, giving a precise age avoids that conversation.
[deleted] ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 23:10:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Counting by months until 2 years old is common. The reason is because in this relatively short time children develop rapidly. After 24 months, it's a bit obnoxious. By 3 years old, it's downright annoying.
Agreed. In a way, you kind of feel like you're lying if you have a 15 month old who is walking and kind of talking, and then you tell people he or she is "a year old."
I think perhaps people who don't have kids or younger siblings might not realize just how quickly children grow. I mean, when they are born, they can't really do anything. They can't even lift their heads up. Fast forward just 6 months, and many babies are sitting up, giggling, smiling and babbling. By a year old, they're standing and probably taking their first unsteady steps, sounding out their first words. By 18 months, they're walking as their main form of locomotion and saying real words, sometimes putting 2 words together into a phrase. I mean, that amount of change is almost impossible to really comprehend. It's amazing how you can compare an infant to a 2 year old toddler and realize that growth happens in just 2 years.
So, yeah, a kid who is 13, 14, 15 months might kind of be "just a year old," but months still make a huge difference at that age.
You'd be completely correct if she hadn't corrected him twice. Describing a child who is one year and one month as a little over a year old is totally valid for the average person and someone who describes a child in those terms does not care at all that it's 13.5 months.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is getting a little silly.
Neither party is more correct than the other. Both parties have a different reference frame. Either could have accepted the other's reference frame, but neither did.
[deleted] ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 23:06:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me that developmentally a child is changing a great deal month by month until about 1.5-2 years, and so its important to keep track of how many months old they are until that point.
As a father who really cares about the development of my children, I still stopped counting months after 12. Trust me, they will still develop if you say "A year and a half"
Yes. And I don't know why nobody here is comprehending that you can use both. You can still say 13 months when talking to a pediatrician or somebody actually concerning themselves with his/her developmental progress. But when somebody makes small talk, I think "just over a year" should suffice.
Agreed, but the point he's trying to make, is you can refer to the child as both 13 months and just over a year. And it would make sense to use both depending on who you're talking to.
Talking to a teacher, pediatrician, babysitter, nanny, or somebody genuinely interested in her developmental progress? 13 months. Sister and law making small talk and says just over a year? Good enough. "Yes."
If you don't care then you should just leave it at 13 months.
two ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:02:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently, for whatever reason, you do give a damn. Someone who doesn't give a damn wouldn't care whether the answer were given in months, years, or centimeters. But you seem to give so much of a damn about knowing the approximate age of a child in terms of years that it actually bothers you when the answer is given in months.
So, on the contrary, it's really quite astonishing how much you care.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:34:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they say the age ain months and it's not greater than two years there's no point to arguing about the age. Pediatiricians refer to infants' age in months and parents pick it up too because it makes it easier to track the child's growth and communicate with their doctor. If you're asking out of politeness don't press the issue. If you don't care about children then why would care what they measure their child's age in?
I personally don't argue with people. I just say "oh hmm that's nice! Is it walking yet?" Because I don't know how babies work after the first week of birth.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Like I said in another comment, I usually just respond "oooh wow. So big! Is it walking yet?" Because I have no idea how child development works after the first week when they're discharged
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:35:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True they change a lot month to month.
However, this is a term used more with doctors or early childhood teachers, not your sister in law or cousin.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that doesn't mean that parents have somehow broken a rule or made some offense by giving the age in months. It's not strange for people to adopt the terminology used by their doctors when discussing illness or treatment, so why is somehow wrong that they do the same for their child? It's one thing if you're referring to your four year old as a 48 month old, but getting worked up because someone said their child was 13 months old, when the child is still in the early developmental stages and giving the age in months is still relevant medically, doesn't make any sense to me
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep track, sure- but when someone asks, you can definitely use, "Just over one," "One and a half," or, "Almost 2."
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:02:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I concurr. I used to hate when people said shit like that.
But in terms of age, 13 months IS just over a year to someone without kids. And parents tend to think they know EVERYTHING when their first child is 13 months old. Just wait 12 more years and that kid will "know" more than the mom.
Sis-in-law: "No, he's 13 months. You don't get it but a month is a lot in development terms."
The issue is that they said "no", saying that it's wrong that the child is just over a year.
"So you kid is just over a year?"
"yeah, 13 months"
is perfectly fine, and doesn't make the parent come across like a douche
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:57:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And? What's your point? That a parent should dumb it down to the person who doesn't have kids? How is the parent even supposed to know what your age style preference is ... and why should they care?
Being a parent, my point is 28-31 days IS Just over a year. And yes, it's not an arguing point to say "No, he's 13 months" is a bit nonsensical in that setting. And that my 13 year old is insistent she's infinitely more knowledgeable than adults. However, that is another conversation entirely. :)
It's obnoxious because parents are using in-group terminology with people outside of that group. If somebody asks you a general question about your job/pet/hobby/etc it's generally considered bad form to give an overly technical or specific answer. You give a vague or general answer and leave it at that. "How old is your child" doesn't require an exact answer, and an age expressed in weeks or months probably doesn't mean anything intuitively to anyone without kids. It's not about dumbing it down, it's about respecting other people's level of interest and understanding.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does it matter so much? I was trying to explain the reason why people explain their child's age in months, not justify it. also, what the hell does the attitude of a parent of a 13 month old have to do with this discussion?
Tatts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean 18-24 months :-)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That would be more logical if every child progressed at the same rate, or if variations in development were less than a month. I was walking at 9 months old, but my sister wasn't up about about until over a year old. That's a huge difference.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You may miss signs that your child isn't developing at an age-appropriate rate?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:04:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You might miss signs that point to developmental delays.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not important in terms of "your child will literally explode if you don't track their age" it's important because you need to track their development physically and mentally. If something is really off it can be indicative of some sort of condition or illness. Tracking a child's age by month is for medical purposes and to my understanding you don't need to track it past 24 months.
niacin16 ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 23:20:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, most definitely. You are right.
Thing is, there are people who care, and people who don't. I fall into the latter category and everyone who knows me, knows this. I don't have kids, don't want kids and don't like kids. To me it's a condescending statement knowing this fact.
Ran4 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:39:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To me it's a condescending statement knowing this fact.
You're joking, right?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's it like having such strong opinions on something that you literally know nothing about? It must be exhilarating.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:25 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i like to live life on the edge.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:34:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to talk to parents about kids, you have to realize that kids are so emotionally draining and time consuming that we parents are mentally and physically incapable of giving less of a fuck about wether or not you have an issue with how we talk about kids.
So if we say our kid is 14 months, and you say, "well, it's just over a year" fuck off and correct someone who gives a shit about your hissy fit. Maybe grow up a little along the way while looking for them, and stop being a pretentious twat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope when I have children I don't become an insufferable cunt like you.
[deleted] ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 23:43:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you have kids, let me know, so I can call CPS and rescue them from a life of suffering.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:51:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 23:55:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone that thinks a 12 month old is the same age as a 23 month old simply because they're both technically "1 year" is either an insufferable pretentious cunt or mentally retarded. So yes, I definitely asked the more appropriate question.
Just because it hurts your feelings, and is "inappropriate" socially doesn't make it less relevant of a question to ask someone.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:10:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you have to realize that kids are so emotionally draining and time consuming
Then why the fuck would have you have kids in the first place?
Anyone that thinks a 12 month old is the same age as a 23 month old
Don't be an asshat. Just say "one year" and "almost two". Then to people who want to talk about how comparatively retarded and underdeveloped their children are, you can switch your jargon around to something both of you poor exhausted and miserable people can understand.
I have no horse in this fight, because this is a horse fight now and I've declared it so, but honestly this makes no freakin' sense to me.
"How old is your kid?"
"14 months."
"Oh, that's cool."
And the conversation is over. Parents talk about their children's age by months because it's a better indicator of the development of the child. You don't give a fuck, that's fine, but are you so afraid of math that you're going to police the way parents talk to you about their kids?
And if you just hate kids, that's fine too. I'd recommend just not talking to parents, then, which from what you've said is probably your preference in the first place.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 00:15:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then why the fuck would have you have kids in the first place?
Because kids are awesome. You have to remember that time and energy are being pumped into the kids because we love having them. You just don't get any because you're largely irrelevant.
Just say "one year" and "almost two"
If you don't want to actually know how old my kid is, then don't ask. Because I'm going to give you an age in months up until 2, as it is completely relevant. If you don't find it relevant, fuck off and stop asking how old peoples kids are since you obviously don't actually give a shit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 00:38:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually not true. I've had a ton of developmental discussions with other parents who have achieved adulthood in their life, maybe one day you'll get there too.
yarothaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe one day you'll get your head free of your ass.
For the record, I agree with you. But you will never win this argument on reddit, because they just like to complain about everything. Best to let it go.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 00:36:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
im not trying to win, I just like to point out that people are wrong.
Or maybe you should stop assuming that just because your kids are the center of your world that anyone else gives a fuck. We're asking to be polite, just give a general answer. If you asked me about my research I would give a completely vague and meaningless answer because, even though my work is the major focus of my life (and it is incredibly emotionally draining and time consuming), I know that you're just asking to be polite.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know that you're just asking to be polite.
What a sad world you live in, you need to find some actual friends.
I have lots of friends, thanks. I'm just not narcissistic enough to believe that people asking me general questions about something complex are looking for an in depth answer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the thing though, it's not in depth, you're just ignorant. The only people who bitch and whine about babies ages being given in months are self important dicks. Don't ask if you don't want an honest answer.
I'm not ignorant, and you're definitely the self important dick here. You're incredibly rude and insulting for absolutely no reason. I hope your kids have better manners than you do.
Ok, so I'll just avoid all small talk in future. Thanks for that great advice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just realize that if you ask the age of a kid that is under two you will most likely get an age in months. If that really bothers you, that's fine, but to assume parents should know better and just say a nonsense answer to appease your smug self, you're an ass.
Giving the age in years rather than months once you pass one year (he's just over a year old, he's a year and a half, he's almost two, etc) is not a nonsense answer. I really don't understand where you're getting smug from this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:17 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only condescending because of the way it was delivered. In the dialog above your sister-in-law says it in a very smug way, insinuating that the information is relevant to you. So now people in this thread have it in their minds that all parents are being smug when they give their kid's age in months instead of years, which is not the reality. In reality, parents are using months just because the developmental milestones are measured in those units.
It's pretty transparent that this whole thread is really just a proxy battle for more deeply rooted issues between people who have/want-to-have kids and those that don't. In actual conversation, the months vs years thing is so unimportant that it really doesn't matter. The fact that people are making such a huge fuss about it is pretty indicative of the additional emotional baggage that people are bringing to this argument.
However, if it really is just the fact that you got your units in months instead of years that irritates you, I would encourage you to not be so easily offended. You can't really expect people to know what offends you and what doesn't, so you'd probably do well to grow a little bit thicker skin.
yurieu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:06:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then after that you're free to lock them in the closest.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:04:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Great, they can do that all they want. It doesn't matter to anyone else though unless they specifically ask.
[deleted] ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 22:41:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People typically use months until 18 or at most 24. While it's ridiculous to still do it when the kid is a whopping 3 years old, your sister is right that that a month is a lot in terms of a baby's development. You may not care, but she can say 13 months if she wants. She could be the bigger person and say, "Ok, /u/niacin16, he's just over a year old" eye roll, condescending pat on shoulder instead of fruitlessly arguing with you, but she's not being ridiculous for saying her baby is 13 months old.
Ppleater ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 22:50:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not ridiculous to say your baby is 13 month old when the developmental milestones are relevant, but when someone is just asking how old your baby is they don't give a shit about the difference a month makes in development. They only want to know their age in years.
fatalii ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 01:02:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you're getting the age that the parent uses. That's the first age that comes to mind because it's the version that matters. I never cared about month-by-month aging til I had a kid of my own, and now it's the age format I default to for her.
Not to mention, if someone asks how old my kid is, I'll assume they care. It's better than having to answer twice because I assumed they didn't actually "give a shit". If having to do a month-to-year conversion is the worst thing that you had to deal with that day then I guess it wasn't a horrible day.
narrill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you're getting the age that the parent uses.
It's the correction though. After "so he's just over a year old," there's no reason not to just say "right."
fatalii ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:22:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone asks an age and gets a reply "13 months", why would you reply "so just over a year then?" in the first place? I think it's obvious. But if the person says "no, 13 months!" then both parties are simply silly.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:58:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So just over a year old?"
"Oh wow you can do math and be an asshole at the same time! That's impressive"
Opie59 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except that's just a stock response. At least to me. "How old is he" is the same in my brain as "he's just over a year right?"
I respond with "13 months" or "yep, 13 months." That's just how some parents think.
Of course I don't know how the interaction with his sister went down.
narrill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We do know how the interaction went down though, since he typed all of it out a few posts up.
niacin16 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:15:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, this was my point.
If we had been talking about [nephew] saying first words or walking vs crawling sure, months make sense. That was not the case.
Just like you don't have to refer to her child's age in months she doesn't have to do so in years. It's not like its difficult to figure out how many years 15 months is. Is this really something to get worked up about?
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:18 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel that after 12 months/1 year of age that, in most cases, (there are expections) it is trivial to refer to your child's age in months.
In my society, as I am sure most English speaking ones do, most of the human population is referred to age by years and it is not unreasonable to expect it to be done as such after a year.
Is it something to get so worked up about? Probably not. But I am just kinda randomly posting on reddit. ;)
When I ask other parents how old their (young) child is, I want to know months so I can compare my also (young) child. Soooo much development happens each month, that it DOES matter.
Ppleater ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only to people who care about the development. For people who just want to know the basic age, years is preferred.
I really think it depends. You might think it's weird, but almost all parents tell other parents that a child is 13 or 14 months old instead of saying "a year old." That's because months make a huge difference. A baby who is 11 months old is probably not speaking at all. A baby who is 13 months old probably speaks multiple words. Really, there are big differences in just those couple months.
Imagine if you were 16 years old, and your aunt asked your mom, "Oh, he just had a birthday? He must be a teenager now?" And your mom says, "Well, he's not just a teenager. He's 16 years old." And your aunt says, "Yes, but that's just a teenager." And your mom says, "There's a big difference between 13 years old and 16 years old. He's going to high school and driving." Is the mom annoying for clarifying the difference between a 13 year old and a 16 year old? I mean, maybe the aunt doesn't really care, and that's fine, but there is a difference.
I get that most non-parents don't care whether a baby is 11 months old or 13 months old, but I can also tell you that most parents will feel like they are lying if they call their 13 or 14 month old "one year old." There's just too much of a difference in age in those early months.
Now compare that 12 month old to this 14 month old. You can see there is still a huge developmental difference between 12 and 14 months.
Ppleater ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 04:53:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OK I don't think you really got the meaning behind my comment. Like I said when the developmental stage of the baby is relevant to the askers interest, or to the conversation, then its perfectly reasonable to use months instead of years. I established that.
Using your analogy, say I'm asking "is your kid a teenager"? I'm not asking "is your kid driving? Is he in highschool? Is he sixteen?" I'm asking "does he have a "teen" in the word when you say his age?" I'm asking if he's between the ages of 13 and 20. If I care about specifics I'll ask about specifics. I don't care if the baby is 18 months old, I want to know how many birthdays he's had. I'd ask "how many months" if I wanted to know the specifics. Also if I ask how old your kid is and you say he's 13, then he's still a teenager, just like a baby is still a baby when its younger than a certain age. I know there's a difference between a 13 year old and a 16 year old, and if that difference becomes relevant then I will take the information into account. But I don't care about the difference, I just care about the number attached to his age.
I get that the months make a difference, I'm not asking about the difference, I'm asking casually about his age. I'm not a mother, it would be pretty obvious to any woman that I ask that I'm not a mother, I'm not someone who is asking if he's started crawling or speaking yet, or if he has object permanence, I'm asking how many years old he is.
I really do get what you're saying, because when non-parents asked me our children's ages when they were babies, I always rounded to the year or half year once they were a year old. But I'm telling you, I felt like I was lying most of the time. When they were ~14 months old, it felt like I was lying to say they were a year old. I also hated saying they were about a year and a half when they were 16 months old because my kids still preferred crawling at 16 months old... whereas it's a medical concern if a child isn't walking at 18 months old.
So I get what you're saying, but I also get why these parents are more specific.
RulerOf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:16:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They only want to know their age in years.
"How old is your baby?"
"XX months"
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I CLEARLY WANTED YEARS AND DIDN'T SPECIFY AND NOW I'M SO ANGRY."
Parents are more cognizant of age in a quantity of months. That's just the way it is. If you want years when you ask the question, then either specify it when you ask, ask again as a followup question, or learn to do some simple math.
If you can't handle the grade school arithmetic required to determine the approximate number of years that any small quantity of months translates to, maybe you should instead be flustered with yourself for not being able to tolerate simple unit conversion, rather than being upset with the person who answered a question that didn't beg specific units in the answer.
Ppleater ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:46:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it so strange to want the easy casual answer for a casual question? When someone asks you the age of a baby, its much easier to understand "a year and a half" than it is to take time to do the "simple math" you know what's even simpler? Not having to do math at all. When someone casually asks me something I don't give them the detailed answer that I'll understand but they might take a moment to get, because I'm not an asshoke, because I understand that it's far more courteous to give them the simpler and more direct answer that they wanted. If they want more info they are free to ask. I'm not going to tell them about paintbrush teqniques when they ask what kind of painting a picture is. I'm going to say its an oil painting.
Whenever someone says something like "he's 19 months" I end up counting on my fingers to try to figure out how old the kid actually is. I understand developmental milestones are important, but I'd sooner say "he turns two in December."
RulerOf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I end up counting on my fingers
12, 24, 36, 48
12, 24, 36, 48
12, 24, 36, 48
The pattern breaks down at 5*12, but when you're talking months, people tend to switch to years after 60 months is reached.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
But there is a big difference between a one year old 13 month old and a one year old 23 month old. Heck imo there's a difference between a 19 month old "almost-two-year-old" and a 23 month old "almost-two-year-old" but like I said in my original comment that OP's sister could have been the bigger person and said, "Fine, the kid is just over a year old!" They both sound equally pig-headed; they deserve the frustration they cause each other lol.
Edit: As for your generalization that when someone asks how old your baby is, they don't really care what the age is in months - I respectfully disagree. Maybe all these out and proud child-free (really, anti-child) types don't care, but many people who have babies, work with babies, and/or don't hate babies give a shit about the difference a month makes. When my son was young, many people would try to guess exactly how many months he was. Even when I couldn't remember exactly how many months he was (was it 19, or 20), I would have to count, so I could give these people an exact number. People who roll their eyes at this sort of stuff need to get over themselves imo.
But 'just over' establishes the margin of error very solidly.
Ppleater ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can say "a year and one month" or "a year and a half" or "hell be two in three months". In an average conversation its not hard to know which version someone is asking for. A person on the bus usually wants the age, a woman with a child might want the months. But most people don't need to know or care if they're just asking casually. Its not being stuck up, its just not being invested in the child's developmental stage. And it's not hard to tell which type of person you're talking to.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 23:28:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a 1 year old that is 12 months old is a LOT different than a 1 year old that is 23 months old.
Toadxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Completely irrelevant.
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 23:37:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally relevant, are you retarded?
Have you ever seen a 12 month old and a 23 month old sitting next to each other?
Toadxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read the comment you replied to, again. They specifically said that if the child's developmental stage is relevant, using months is fine. If someone just wants to know the age in years, months can be annoying. Therefore, you pointing out that there is a difference between a 1 year old child at one end of the year and the other end, is completely irrelevant, because their point was that most people aren't going to give a shit. They just want to know the years.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but when someone is just asking how old your baby is they don't give a shit about the difference a month makes in development. They only want to know their age in years.
Again, a 12 month old is 1 and a 23 month old is 1, but they're completely different age wise. They are not "1" They are "12 months" and "23 months."
I honestly don't know any adult or parent that looks at a sub 2 year old and expects the parent to say "1".. they would look at you like you're crazy.
And if you hear "14 months" and think, "I don't give a shit about months, that kid is 1" then don't fucking even bother to ask in the first place.
If they're 23 months the actual human, sensible, not autistic response is "two next month, thanks for asking".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, technically at 23 months you just tell your toddler to tell the person who asked, since they can usually respond by that age.
Toadxx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:18:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are still 1 year of age, almost 2. It doesn't matter if they are vastly different. That doesn't change time.
Ppleater ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 01:30:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Average person asking doesn't give a shit. Just say "he turned one last month" or "he turns two in a month". Or say "he's almost two". They don't want the details.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Again, not true. I often times said "he's a little over one" and had DOZENS of people ask me "oh, how many months?"
Maybe you don't care, but you're wrong to assume the average person isn't legitimately interested when they're actually asking. Do you know why? Because most people aren't fucking morons and realize that age in months is relevant at certain ages.
So until my kids hit 2, I'd always think in months, and up to a year, I'd tell people how many months. But between 1 and 2 I'd say 'just turned one', 'turned one in February', 'one and a half', 'almost 2', etc. Because who really gives a fuck apart from the parents? My daughter is 2 since February and I literally would have to work out how many months she is now: 24 + 1,2,3,...5 = two. She's two.
Bergauk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost three.
steggo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:53:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Between 1 and 2, I'd try to gauge who was asking. Relatives or other parents at the playground got months until 18 months. Friends, random people at the store, etc got "just over a year"
Gsusruls ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 22:29:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see any problem with them actually saying how many months, update to about two years (he's 13 months now). The annoyance really kicks in when you generalize (oh, ok, about a year) and they counter pretentiously (no, 13 months, it's developmentally different than a year).
I have to keep track because healthcare providers want to know. For everyone else I just round off to the nearest year.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:53:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess she could have said YES, hes 13 months, but, months are pretty important in development children that age up to ~2 years or so.
edifyyo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crap. This made me realize that I'm guilty of this. Sorry, everyone.
niacin16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:13 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's ok! I just want you to know not everyone cares about months... :(
It's important to you... just not to me...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:57:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah, I understand using months to talk to your doctor or nurse or someone else who it matters for, but generally people ask because they want to know the age of your baby. I know I certainly don't know or care about the development to month ratio.
As a fellow parent, I can attest that the only people who give a sh-t about precise ages for babies are pediatricians and, sometimes, other moms who are obnoxious about precision.
As someone who always, always hated the precise month counts (really? "18 months"? Not "one and a half"?!), I never was month-specific when asked.
And to the "developmental age" BS? Just hang out with her a few minutes and you'll figure out how developed she is soon enough.
Sooo, she didn't celebrate his first birthday? Because that was meaningless? weird.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:09 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha perfect.
dexikiix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol! doesn't change the fact that 13 is just over 12. people...
wdr1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, 13 months vs 1 year is pretty obnoxious, especially expecting someone other than the parent to say it, but there is a pretty big fucking different between a one year old and a child who is 18 months. That tends to be why parents will tell you the age in months. It can be slow getting out of it, but by 3, they should start using years.
strib666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't have kids, so you wouldn't understand."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the exact conversation which lead to my friend never seeing his niece again due to bitchy sister-in-law.
I was once watching my friend's kid while she played at the playground for a minute. Another mom asked me how old she was and I said "oh just over a year" and she looked at me like I was a horribly negligent mother and goes "oh well (name of her baby) is fifteen months old..." Good for her bitch. Then my friend came back and was obviously the mom so I hope that other lady realized she was a dult and felt embarrassed.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:25 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I generally allow for parents to use the x-months old thing until around 3 years old, but they damn well better not expect me to return the favor. And if you say so-and so is 4X months old, I automatically hate you. 39 is the highest number allowed for that. HARD CAP.
nahfoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a conversation I heard between my dad and his friends 23 year old son
"So I heard you sister had a baby? What was is like 3 or 4 weeks ago now?"
"Nah it's been longer than that, maybe like a month or so?
cayal3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And a month is the different before being 11 months old and a year old.
rotinom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a parent, I agree to a point. 18 mos is the upper end in my opinion. Then they are "almost two".
The "month" nomenclature is a combination of "shit changes fast with kids" and "holy shit, my kid is alive and so am I. My clothes were washed in the past week and I think I took a shower yesterday. Holy shit! I feel great with a solid 4 hours of sleep!"
To be honest, we do realize that 13 mos is pedantic..
I work in early child development. It really isn't. 12 month olds are basically the same as13 month olds. Some can walk, some can't, other than that, they're basically the same.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Given how much variance there is in most of the developments we can see, yeah i don't care how many months old your child is. Just looking for a general age estimate. Nearest year or half year will do.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:33 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that's all I need.
GoFidoGo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She shouldn't have corrected you but she's not wrong.
Speaking from a healthcare perspective it's actually a nice distinction (I work in the ED) but yeah to anyone else it's pretty unnecessary.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:41 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's all I'm saying. ;)
minimus_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:35:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Babies grow at such an alarming rate that there will be noticeable differences between 12- and 13-month-old babies. Of course, this reduces over time - it would be facetious to describe a baby (or toddler I guess) as 37 months.
Rmanager ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:20:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't get it but a month is a lot in development terms
That's a score keeper. There are multiple journals in that bitch's house where every single thing the little lord does is recorded and measured against a statistical average.
Every time his lordship is ahead of the curve, he's "advanced." Every time he's behind the curve, the stats are skewed and there are special circumstances why his little highness is exempt from that one.
You'll need to go ahead and nuke her from orbit. It is the only way to be sure.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:00 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well, this was 10 years ago now. Kid would manipulate shit like you wouldn't believe. She's not in the kids (3 of them now, he's the oldest) lives so much in recent days (10 years later) which is for the better but the fall out is tough to straighten out. But my bro is doing a great job.
Like she's expecting you to pull out a fucking graph to chart how well the child is developing depending on his age versus the standard growth rate of the average child.
No. You just want the rough age in order to be polite.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:40 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have kids? I always thought this too, but then I had my own and I realized there is a huuuuuuuge difference between 1 year old / 13 months and 1 year old / 20 months.
huuuuuge developmental milestones happen in those early years, so when talking to other moms, gauging development compared to other kids in their age group, etc --- a couple months DOES matter, big time.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:27 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, I don't have kids.
12 and 13 months are hardly different, even medical professionals agree.
Completely aside from that though, parents fail to realize the lack of importance to other people. Most people really only want approximations anyway.
No, it's fair until about 18 months, because she's right, a 16-month old, neurotypical child is very different from an 18-month old, neurotypical child. After that, "almost 2" is fine, followed shortly by "I'm so sorry" from any parents in the vicinity.
You may not care but developmentally she is correct and it tells people where her baby in terms of growth. When they are little every month it's something new. 10 months is different than 13 months is different than 16 months. It also has to do with the way clothing sizes are until you hit 24 months, then 2t, then 3t.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People usually describe kids' ages in months until around age 2 bc you still have regular Dr check-ups at certain month intervals and that's how you track if the kids are meeting their milestones. If your kid isn't walking at age one, you can make yourself feel better by stating his/her age in months. After 18 months it is kind of stupid though...
Honestly, I tell people my dog is 18 months old bc he's crazy and acts like an a-hole and I'm trying to express that he's still kind of a puppy even though he's 100lbs.
niacin16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:16 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, that's awesome about your dog.
I don't disagree about milestones because they are clearly important, but I feel like most of the time it's trivial to refer to age in months to the average person. (Especially in this particular case as she knew me very well in that I do not have, nor even like kids... for the most part. But that is aside from the point.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:22 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I totally agree, but I'm probably still going to find myself saying my kid is 22 months old to someone who is thinking, "ffs just round up to 2".
One thing that I never realized about moms that I totally get now is that we are all super tired and our brains have shrunk to cope with hanging out with kids all of the time. It's not an excuse, but it's like we are a subset of society that's temporarily out of our minds; thinking we know all of this stuff while the rest of society is just rolling their eye and waiting for the day we come back to the real world.
A month really is NOT a lot in development terms. If there is one thing I've learned as a parent, is that kids develop at different rates. They are just as unique and varied as real people. What one kids does at 13 months, another does at 17 and another does at 8.
To be fair, that's why parents and doctors use months rather than years for children. A 12 month old and an 18 month old are both "one," but the 18 month old will be significantly more developed.
euno ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:13:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have kids but from my understanding it's because there are developmental changes at certain points. But! That is something you use for doctors and clothing, not when a family member asks.
junkit33 ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 23:23:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You use months until 2, then you usually use half years for a couple more years. (So 2, 2.5, 3, 3.5...) By 5 you just start using the whole number.
For example, at 10 months a baby may not even be crawling yet, but at at 15 months they could be walking. So if you round either to '1', it doesn't say much of anything about where they probably are developmentally.
By 2, a month or two doesn't make as much of a difference, but 6 months is still quite notable.
meyerjaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, basically use 2's for everything. Your child isn't 17 days old, it is 2 weeks old. Your child isn't 9 weeks old it's 2 months old. As soon as you can count a larger unit of measure by 2, use that one.
And while we are on children, calling a child "it" when the gender isn't known is perfectly fine. My wife and I didn't find the sex of our son and I got so much shit for referring to him as "it". What do you think a gender neutral pronoun is for!!
Kalapuya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It matters to other parents with similarly aged kids. A 12 month old and a 23 month old are very different. Also matters for buying clothes and toys. Until around 2.
You're right. Kids change so drastically from month-to-month that using months makes sense for some time.
I have two kids and I always figured after my oldest turns two, I'd start using years and not months to tell people how old she is. But until then, if you ask how old my kid is I will tell you in months to the best that my exhausted brain will allow.
xixoxixa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:30:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Clothes are usually sized by months up until 2 or 3 years, depending on brand.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:14:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It goes by a rule of 2s basically.
Count in days until 2 weeks. Count in weeks until 2 months. Count in months until 2 years.
After that it's only acceptable to say 2 1/2 if you really need to clarify.
Even doctors and psychologists pretty much stop using months instead of years for subjects that are 3 or older.
Ryanwins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It becomes ingrained into you as a parent. Everything from medicine to clothes to leaflets is referred to in months at that age. It's difficult to think in other terms. It also allows the parent to feel like the baby means something in age terms. "Under 1" sounds like shit but "11 months" sounds like an achievement.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:15:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. My youngest is 19 months, technically "a year" old. My niece is literally one year old. They are worlds apart in development (eg: my daughter can walk, talk, feed herself, etc while niece can just crawl and is starting to feed herself).
So yeah, I tell people my daughter is 19 months. If you don't like it, don't ask.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:31:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed but I feel the OP was just being hyperbolic. Obviously it's just anecdotal evidence but I've never heard anyone refer to their kid in months past 2yo
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:43:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I would never say that my 3 year old is 38 months because that's insane.
Know how people count car leases by months? That's because the number of payments is relevant. Kid months are relevant when they're 1-2 years old. You probably don't have kids or a car lease so I'm sure this is a difficult concept.
I'll bet you said "school year" even though school doesn't last 12 months. School is shorter than a year. Deal with it.
Right, but children's brains are different than adult brains. It's simply a fact.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I may be a bad parent but at 18 months I stopped paying attention to my kids milestones. He's talking and running and jumping. I think he is aight.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I figured it out. They must have missed the "12 months in a year" stage during their own development.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's true, but the majority of the time, the person you're talking to doesn't really care about what milestones your kid has reached. When I ask how old they are, all I want to know is how long they have been outside of your/your lady's body. That's it. I don't care if little Jimmy can count to ten or sing a song or any of that. I just want to know how old they are.
And it's not that hard to understand that at that very young age months are relevant. By your logic why not just say you are 30 even though you are 34? It's because those years are relevant and make a difference. When you are under 2, months are what is relevant.
If you are so interested in how long they are alive then you shouldn't be bothered by a truthful statement, X months IS how long they have been alive.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol yeah I'm not buying it. If you can't even be bothered to listen to someone and care about their childs milestones why would you give a flying fuck "how long they have been out of the womb"? How is that relevant to you at all?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I have but generally if I am curious about a person enough to know how old they are, I am curious enough to know more about them and don't mind them sharing other things in the slightest. I don't get annoyed because they shared a minor fact (that ties directly into age, re: milestones) or because they worded something differently than I would have. You sound like an abysmal person to know.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I care about people with thoughts, feelings, and the ability to express them. I care about anyone with whom I can form a relationship or have a conversation, or learn from. I care about information that is relevant to that person, my relationship to that person, and their life experiences.
Guess what's relevant to a person? Their kid. Sorry that's such a hard concept for you to grasp. Generally speaking if you care about someone, you care about what they care about. If you truly can't be bothered to do that, understand that that is what they care about. Also understand that people like to talk about the things that matter to them, and at the very least not be annoyed with them for doing so.
Holy shit, you sound like a real dick. God forbid anyone every tell you anything that may be relevant to them if you didn't ask for it explicitly. You sound like a self-centered jack-ass.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:07:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is self-centered, is that you are ignoring that expressing their child's age in months is they way they think of it. And that you are faulting them for expressing themselves naturally, and not going out of their way to censor their language so that you are not (heaven forbid) exposed to information you were not interested in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but the majority of the time, the person you're talking to doesn't really care about what milestones your kid has reached.
This is so incorrect. Other people, even strangers, seem to have more interest in my own kids' milestones than I do. They want to know many months old my daughter is, what grade my son is in, and all kinds of crap that has no relevance in their lives whatsoever. It shouldn't matter to anyone else, but other people are definitely interested for reasons beyond my understanding.
Nikcara ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:52:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It makes a lot of sense for the first year, but after about a year to a year and a half it gets obnoxious. There isn't a noticeable difference between 24 months and 25 months, for example.
I have a 16 month old and it's true that a month makes a big difference right now. I expect to stop counting the months around 2 years old. For one thing kids are already diverging. It almost feels judgey to talk about months right now because one kid is going to be ahead of the other. I might use quarters or halves after 2. If I heard about a 37 month old I would probably assume they were infantilized and still breastfeeding or something.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:29:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
After one year, the months are just annoying. Right now my baby cousin is nine months. On his birthday, he's getting upgraded to years like the rest of us.
Yeah kids clothes usually go by month, and 18-24 months is the last size before they go into toddler size, so after that you need to be saying years not months.
One of my cousins once said that her kid was 54 months. I went blind from rolling my eyes too hard.
ssplam ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:08:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I will forgive up to 24 months... then it's whole years, or maybe halvsies.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:48:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ssplam ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:21:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly.
Depending on how well I know them I might make fun or correct. If they are already non-favorites, it simply adds reasons to the list of why I don't like them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"How old is she in seconds though?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped this as soon as mine turned 18 months. It annoys me so damn much. My son turns 2 in September. Go me~~!!
Pookah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
3.083333333333333
Foxyfox- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only time you should be referring to age in months beyond the first year should be clinical discussions of child development, where weird intervals like 18 months and 28 months can be somewhat important development points.
Someone on /r/parenting asked for advice on their 30 month old and the first so meant was "... Your child it 2.5 years old". I'd never seen someone in real life refer to their child in months over the age of 2!
I found I did that only because Dr. visits want to know how many months and kids clothes are also measured in months for a long time. It became easier just to know how many months they were.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck. I'm a claims rep for a company that manages tax shelter accounts for childcare (among other things), and there's a section on the claim form where it asks for the child's age. Multiple times a day I consider denying a claim just for irking me because your child is 2 years old, not 25 fucking months. I even came across one last week that had it broken down to 47 weeks or something awful like that. It's a good thing I can't deny claims because folks piss me off.
I'm probably in the minority here, but I do want to point out one exception that could be ok to say. 18 months. Maybe it's just the way people in Kansas say "a year an a hafe" that drives me bonkers.
G8kpr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That bugged me even when my kids were little.
"my daughter is 85 months old tomorrow"
Tomorrow my daughter will be 1461 days old.. Yippie!
BadBoyJH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
24 months. The standard time after which doctors stop giving a fuck about how many months old your child is, and want years is 24 months.
I'm a mom. And a baby can change a HUGE amount in a week. Let alone a month. I'm talking a little bundle that can't roll over to completely mobile in a matter of weeks! Clothing is sized in months, appropriate food is labled in months, doctors visits are dictated by the month. How many months old our baby is, is constantly drilled into our brain.
So when a stranger asks how old my son is and I say "18 months" because he just got his 18 month shots, is wearing size 18 month pants, and was pulled from my body 18 months ago. And you say with a sneer "You mean a year and a half?"
I will say "I'M SO GLAD YOU CAN MATH! HOW DUMB OF ME NOT TO PUT IT IN YOUR FAVORITE TIME MEASUREMENT YOU PUTRID BAG OF DICKS."
jaded423 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:11 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's an indication of development. There are general milestones a child reaches (Smiling, rolling over, babbling, sitting, standing, walking, first words) so you are paying attention to their age in months and how they are growing and developing.
There is a big difference between where a kid is at at 12 months to say 15 months. The months matter until a kid is 2 then it's not as important but I think it becomes habit.
For me if I ask how old your toddler is, I want to know how many months old he is so I can effectively judge him and you.
so very much THIS! I give them 17 months. after that you must only state your child's age down to the half year. your child is not 24 months, they are 2 years.
Tox770 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I don't get this. I'm in my early 20s, so kids are a little far off, but I've never understood why people count months past a year.
splaps17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't get this either until I went to nursing school. I've never heard 37 months but generally babies have milestones in their growth and development that happen quicker in the first 3 years of life. Thats why people say that. It isn't to be annoying (most of the time) its just a way to make comparisons to general norms for babies at that developmental stage.
I'm good with months up to two years. Developmentally there is a lot that happens in a short period in those two years, and the difference between a 13 month old and an 18 month old. Doctors use months up to that point for good reasons. At two years, you can start using the "and a half" mark. At 5 that needs to stop.
Muthafucka, during the first 24 months, each one is a big deal. Not just, it's an accomplishment each additional month you've kept your baby alive, but also they are night-and-day different each new month.
If parents are literally still going by month after they turn two, it's obnoxious, but I don't recall hearing anyone ever do this. They may be out there, but they're outliers.
ajsmitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're over exaggerating a bit, but in my experience, at least until the child is 2, it gives a better understanding of the child's age and development when expressed in months. The difference between a 12 month old and an 18 month old is insane. They are both "1", but those 6 months really do make a big difference.
Idk, I SOMEWHAT understand it after being a recent puppy owner.
Until the 3 month mark, I always said how old he was in weeks because it made a difference in terms of where he was at in development. Once older than 12 weeks I started saying 3 months, 4 months, etc though.
Up until about two years, this is actually pretty useful...there should be a lot of development between 12 months and 24 months. A 12 month old might not even walk yet and only know a few words, whereas a 20 month old might be starting to make sentences and is probably mobile to the point that he or she is terrorizing the parents by getting to every fucking thing that they shouldnt.
Do you have a problem with people who say they're 37 instead of "in their fourth decade"? If precision of 3% is fine in one instance, why is it overly precise in the other?
I've generally not heard people cite months for age when asked after about two years. If you're asking "How old is your baby" and the "baby" in question is a three-year-old, you're kind of a jerk.
kvaltx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hah! I hate when people ask me how many months old our kid is. Neither me nor the father know in months. I used to feel pressured and rushed to math in my head (which I can't) and terrified I would get it wrong. I finally quit worrying about it and just say 4.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DrOrozco ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:01:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where's your datasheet?
Did you measure the independent variables and dependent?
Where are your control factors?
Did you find any fucking confounding variables, you pranksters piece of pucks?
I WANTED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED IF I KNOCKED YOUR MOBILE OUT OF YOUR HANDS
pdgeorge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love the implications behind the dumbass saying "it's a social experiment, don't get angry at me."
No, as a social experiment you need to stand there and accept the ass kicking you are about to get.
Question: "what happens if I do blank?"
Answer: "I get my ass kicked." DON'T TAINT THE RESULTS OF YOUR OWN EXPERIMENT!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:07:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that you used "an" wrong twice on purpose makes this soooo much better. It was on purpose, right?
ha11ey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BROTHER I STILL GOT RESULTS FOR YOU COME CLOSER.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a specific incident that these comments are referring to, or are the just referring in general to all douches who pull the "just a prank" line?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:51:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's STILL SHITTY. Your edit ADDED TO THE CONFUSION!!!!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:51:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be honest, now it's just a circle jerk that is guaranteed karma if used correctly. There are a few bots out there that write similar phrases to expected things and they get insane karma and gold.
As far as real pranks, they generally don't go as bad as burning a house down or whatever, but if the person is pissed, the prankster always says "it's just a prank bro! The camera is there! Chill out!"
Last guy to try that around me, I did a huge fake laugh in his face, and just yelled "being an asshole is definitely a laughing matter! HA HA HA." he got all pissed off and I just said deadpan "dude, it was just a joke, chill out bro"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my best friends does this all the time. Just something he does to his friends because he likes pissing us off. It can definitely be annoying but I don't mind if it's a joke for humors sake. However, if it's something physically or seriously emotionally harmful then they've crossed the line.
This is my super-villain name: the Schrodinger Douche! I'm one of the popular badass villains who gets their own spinoff.
I can't share to many detailsโฆ but I can say that I, the Schrodinger Douche, will make a cameo in Suicide Squad and maybe some other upcoming DC filmsโฆ
Surgess1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:25:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This guy I sort of know from my home town got "only God can judge me" tattooed across his chest 3 months before getting 8 years for aggravated assault. Guess he was wrong.
In the past, in common law jurisdictions like the UK, Canada, the US etc. If someone wouldn't submit a plea to the court allowing the court to sit in judgement over them, they would be 'pressed'
That is to say, a heavy board would be put on them and rocks loaded onto it until they entered a plea of innocent or guilty. Without the plea the court couldn't sit in judgement and they'd just add more and more weight until the person died.
During the Salem Witch Trials, someone accused of witchcraft refused to plea and was pressed, his name was Giles Corey and whenever he was asked to plea during the process he would only reply "more weight", he died after 2 days.
Ah god, the people that say this before or after everything they say too. "I'm eating ice cream, don't judge" "It's pistachio, don't judge" "I feel fat, don't judge"
Nainma ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:23:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that because you already feel bad about yourself and any active judging from others will just reinforce the poor view you have of yourself and make it all too real..
I realized recently I say it a lot, but I think it's because I have a lot of anxiety and I try to anticipate what people would be thinking of me. Then I try to preemptively explain that I realize my action would warrant judgement. For example I loved stretchy pants...and I wear them sometimes to meet my friends. I don't want them to think that I think stretchy pants are acceptable. I recognize they arent, but I choose to do it anyway. Those are the "don't judge" situations.
"I just housed a whole large pizza, with double cheese, don't judge me."
erispie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:11:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I confuse. For what does a pizza need a house?
[deleted] ยท 831 points ยท Posted at 15:03:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the omnipresent, "Only God can judge me."
The best response to that is, "In the Bible, only God can send you to Hell, but the church can kick you out and 'hand you to Satan.'" That's what is says anyway
If there was a God outside of the earth with some form of intelligence, wouldnt that kind of make it an alien? Not subscribing to the ancient aliens theory just thinking out loud.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:45:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. God would be an alien from everywhere, I think. I can't conceive of it living inside the physical realm, let alone on any particular planet. He would be a special kind of being.
This is actually sound Judeo-Christian doctrine. The only adjective that is repeated three times in reference to God in scripture is "holy holy holy", which doesn't mean "super religious" or even "good", it means "set apart". It's a veneration of the unique "superior otherness" of God.
jyetie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:08:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think it would be an extradimensional being, sort of like an eldritch abomination. A being humans wouldn't even be able to fully fathom, with heaven being a separate dimension.
Sort of like, if you drew a line on a paper and it somehow gained sentience. The line "living" in the 2nd dimension would have a hard time fathoming us in the 4th dimension.
I wasn't very religious when I came up with this, and I didn't have the strongest grasp of dimensions, I just liked the idea. I think it would work better for a pantheon instead of a single god.
The truth is that it doesn't matter what kind of cool ideas we can come up with, (pertaining to what "God" is, if he is at all) since we don't have any physical proof it'll be just that, ideas. We could use dimensions to hide the fact we don't know, and although is extremely satisfying to think of ways it could be, its all speculation. To me God is an overwhelmingly, over rated, incredibly dangerous idea, which is so ancient its become part of the human psyche.
There's an awesome short film where an android reaches enlightenment in a Buddhist temple (read: AI robot becomes ASI robot), and the last words in the movie are
Human: But I thought you said there is no god.
Android: There is now.
Then the Android kills a bunch of cops trying to stop him and the movie ends. I always thought that was pretty legit. If we make robots that have ASI (artificial super intelligence), I'd have to change my religion... and I don't know what I'd call myself.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you happen to remember the name of this short film?
I don't remember the exact name. I do remember that I watched it on Netflix, it was under the "foreign movies" section, and that it was Korean.
It had 3 parts, all world-ending. The first part was how one man's family (who was on vacation, and he was the good son doin' the cleanup) had a house so filthy, that when he brings the garbage out, you see how it started the zombie apocalypse.
The second part was a kid orders a pool ball for her dad from a strange website, and it turns out to be a gigantic, dinosaur-killing-size meteor she ordered from aliens, then the third part is the one I described above with the robots.
dtg108 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where does it say that?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:57:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1 Cor. 5:4-6
In the name of our Lord Jesus, when you are assembled, and I with you in spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus, 5I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. 6Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough?โฆ
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:32:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR: "Turn the man over to Satan (i.e., back into the world community of debauchery), that he may reap the consequences of his rebellion (whatever physical and/or emotional disadvantages that might involve), along with distressing estrangement from a warm, loving association with the church."
Lurkndog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll arrange the meeting then. "
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kaliedo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mixed the double quotes and single quotes properly. As a programmer, I like you.
(Things like (this) give me pain.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an English major, I'm glad you noticed. Apparently, there's a rule against stacked punctuation though where if you end a sentence with ")). somehow you just throw most of it out. I always try to avoid that situation.
Wait, who said the 10 commandments are no more? What guidelines do we follow?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, Paul says we cannot be saved by the Law, and that it's sin to try. Peter was told to kill and eat anything he wanted. Jesus said, "Love thy neighbor as thy self and Love thy Lord thy God," basically. The ten commandants are but a small portion of the Jewish Law. They were made for a time and place 2000 years ago. If you're following the 10 commandments, you have to follow the entire law.
Romans 3:19-20 is pretty important. Also 3:27-31, particularly 31. And check Romans 6:15.
There's generally a distinction between ceremonial law and moral law in the OT, the 10 commandments are generally seen as moral and always applicable.
Also, we ought to understand that we're not saved through obeying the law, but by Grace. The (moral) law is just a guideline to how we should live as Christians.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating Shrimp is a moral law too. We just pick and choose the ones we still want to follow. Even the Old Testament law is a guideline. David ate the bread of the presence and wasn't killed. If you love your neighbor as yourself you're going to kill them or anything else. I'm a huge proponent of Christian freedom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating Shrimp is a moral law too. We just pick and choose the ones we still want to follow. Even the Old Testament law is a guideline. David ate the bread of the presence and wasn't killed. If you love your neighbor as yourself you're going to kill them or anything else. I'm a huge proponent of Christian freedom.
I would think ceremonial. Didn't Peter have a vision where God told him not to consider unclean what God called clean? Regarding food (I'm assuming) and gentiles?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:11 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. God told Peter to kill and eat.
Ceremonial law is the temple law. Make sacrifices. Burnt offerings. Don't go into the Holy of Holies.
Moral law is: don't steal, don't kill, ect. Morals are prohibitions on doing things. In Leviticus God said, "Don't eat shrimp because they are abhorrent to you."
kjata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, good. Because I was really coveting some cheese fries right about now.
I mean, it kind seems like it exclusively applies to people who are sleeping with their fathers wife. But yeah, i guess it works.
kuilin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:14:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1 Corinthians 2:15-16:
โThe person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, for, who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.โ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're taking it out of context. 1 Cor. 5:5 is regarding how to handle clear and obvious sin in the church. You rebuke gently, but if it doesn't stop, then you cut them of from the church, as God did Job, essentially. Hopefully, by being ostracized they come back.
The verses you are citing aren't about judging people. They're about learning through the spirit not the very common Greek philosophy of the time.
mousicle ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:23:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone judges everyone every moment they interact. I could be judging you are awesome, you are terrible or there is no change in my view but it's impossible to not judge people constantly.
Cayou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the only reasonable response to "don't judge me" is "I'll do whatever I want, up to and including judging you".
Usually said after doing some shit you very well should judge them for. Like cramming fistfuls of pringles into their sloppy maw until the tube is gone or picking their nose and playing with the boogers or fondling your dogs dick.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only God can judge me" was splattered across her rib cage, highly visible due to her see-through top, as she snorted her last line of coke from the fast food bathroom toilet. She then turned to her two, new male pals and quoted them a price for the mรฉnage a trois that would shortly ensue.
After the affair was finished, and the lady was paid, she made her way home to heat up the dinner her husband had cooked her and walk past her kids' rooms without so much as an "I love you Jessica, Tia, Bradley, Scott, Chad, Kevin, Nikki, Tisha, and Dylan".
Every time. Every single time.
Hab1b1 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:07:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
unless it's for something silly like the that other guy mentioned with ice cream...i actually understand this one. to me it says who are you to judge someone else? and to understand their position? let them live and do the best they can with what they have without judging/condescending eyes laying upon them.
People just take it too literally or are being obtuse on purpose. Of course there is such a thing as being a judgmental prick. We all met people like that at least once.
So do you like everyone you meet? Would you date everyone you meet? Would you want your kids to marry everyone you meet?
Of course not. That because we all make judgments about everyone and everything we encounter. Who am I to judge? I'm the one who will be affected by interacting with you, so I have every reason to judge whether you make the types of decisions I deem to be acceptable.
Also, the people who use this phrase the most are the ones who are making really bad life choices and they know it.
So do you like everyone you meet? Would you date everyone you meet? Would you want your kids to marry everyone you meet?
No I don't, but I wouldn't "instantly dislike" and hate people based on minor details that I don't even know the full story about.
Of course everyone "judge" people, but not on the same scale. Being too self righteous and judgmental is a big character flaw for me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:13:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually when people say it, they know that they're already messed up in some way. They just don't want you acknowledging the obvious.
Arab09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was once at a Mcdonalds near my area and a girl in my high school was drunk with her friends goofing around and they were playing a car rally game to which she took off her clothes and as I sat from my vehicle watching she looked at me and said while undressing " dont judge me " I will never forget it lol
I hate when people say, "You can't judge me based on what I do/say!"
Really?! Then how can I possibly make a decision on whether you are deserving of my respect, attention, and time? No, I most certainly will continue to judge you based on your actions and what you say, and if the person you prove to be is someone who is completely different than that, then I will judge you as someone who has no integrity and a very weak sense of self.
Arab09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was once at a Mcdonalds near my area and a girl in my high school was drunk with her friends goofing around and they were playing a car rally game to which she took off her clothes and as I sat from my vehicle watching she looked at me and said while undressing " dont judge me " I will never forget it lol
badjuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody judges all the time. It's like you have to judge things to develop opinions about things, like people.
"Don't judge me" is like saying "ignore me completely" cause that's the only way to do it; so when I hear somebody say that, I immediately stop paying any attention to them, because that's just what they want, right?
Kfitz5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had an ex who called me judgemental because I protested her constant blackout drinking and general douchebaggery. She was pretty much the equivalent of a teenager who thinks her parents hate her because they make her live by a set of rules.
It's insane how well this phrase works, though. I've said it a few times as a joke, and people immediately apologize and back down.
Eilstina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because passing judgement on someone based on a single thing is looked down upon. So if you call someone out they automatically think what am I doing? This is not socially acceptable. And then they stop
There is a difference between judging someone as a person and judging their actions and a lot of people don't get that. I'm actually trying to help you out when I say "What the fuck?" because that's how people improve.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are not supposed? That is the hole deal with it. Stop judging.
It's an annoying thing for someone to say constantly. On the other hand one of the worst qualities a person can have is the feeling that they can and should judge everyone they see and meet based on what little they know of them. People are pretty complicated and first impressions can be deceiving.
Almost always followed by "That guy's an asshole." without a hint of irony.
l2np ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, as someone who's typically pretty judgmental, I find it's better NOT to make evaluations of someone's character, because 90% of the time you're wrong and it just gets in the way of knowing who they are. That's why people are against judgment: because it's a shitty thing to do to someone and it's often false.
It's totally possible to say, "That's just a person and I don't know their story" and have no judgment at all. It's a learned skill but it makes me more open and less angry.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this okay if you are about to tell them something they need to hear, but it is embarrassing?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I recently reminded someone of Martin Luther King Jr's "I have a dream" speech continues on to say "that one day my children will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." I'd be racist if I didn't judge people by the dumb shit they do.
Zumaris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmm I dunno, sometimes my friends use this jokingly when we eat something we're not supposed to when we're cutting... Obviously it's said in shame, but it's funny in that situation.
This is my go-to phrase when my fiance is looking at me like I just tried to convince him the world is flat. Maybe if he stopped being so awesome and easy to talk to my inner thoughts wouldn't flow out so easily.
I feel like this is more of a way of saying don't base your opinions of me on this one tidbit of my life, sure it indicates that I am not a functional adult, but there are plenty of tidbits that indicate that I am in fact a functional adult, also I've got better shit for you to use to judge me, but that's all 5th date or later material.
Unless the person in question is using "Don't judge me" seriously and as a general catch all. Fuck those people. They're all a bunch of judgmental bastards who can dish it out but can't take it.
Cyhawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A guy on okcupid had "don't judge me from my profile" dude it is a page with information about you, pictures of you and a bunch of questions you've answered. What am I supposed to judge you on? Am I supposed to just go on a date with literally everyone on okcupid because I shouldn't judge them on their profiles????
I always say "don't judge me negatively" whenever I do suggest that somebody not judge me negatively.
Se7enLC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also anyone that claims "oh, I don't judge people".
Yes you do. Everyone does. You're supposed to judge people. You judge them on their words and actions, otherwise you are just a shallow shell of a human being that will never have a real connection to anyone.
Every time I hear that I respond, "I already have."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a friend I had who's mom was an extreme
alcohol & would scream things like this all the time like
a crazy woman (which she kinda was). The first time
I met her, she was drunk literally grabbing me & throwing
me into a seat on her couch. The funny thing though is
she had moments from time to time where she was
very sweet & caring although she was typically very
sharp edged regardless of how sober she was.
tinverse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the people I know only use that jokingly or when you catch them in a really bad moment. Like you open the door and their double teaming Osama from behind while he tries to do his best imitation of JFK.
I point my fingers at them like Darth Sideous, and pretend to judge them with force lighting.
hemmicw9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Make an assessment!!!"
earbly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because judging someone can really fuck people up, especially when mixed with shame and being outcast. What they mean is don't sum up their entire character in your "evalutation" based on one thing they do. Like making your entire judgement of them as a human based on the fact that they take a drug. That's what they mean.
Kid gobs pasta sauce all over his face while I'm blowing my nose with the last piece of paper towel in the house, you know im gonna wipe his face with my snot rag, "Don't judge me"
Crop dusting by the ladies change rooms... I don't think anyone knows its me, so they can't judge.
I always reply with "It's waaay too late for that"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bit late for that, isn't it?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ. Seriously. I'm allowed to have a fucking opinion on someone even if you disagree with me. To say someone is nice is also judgemental by the way...
Ah yes, the old "Don't judge me, you don't know my story.", when she's clearly being a crazy bitch, no matter what happened in the past.
amero421 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think part of the reason I don't like this is because I'm not a judgey person. So that person has prejudged me by thinking that I actually give a shit.
Well, I think you've got a good starting point right there.
Tip718 ยท 2363 points ยท Posted at 15:47:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Whenever someone cops up to being a "Bitch", likes it's something they are proud of. Like "Yeah, I am a bitch so what!?!?"
Edit- I accidently wrote "copes up" instead of "cops up to". Some people here were horribly offended by that. My feelings regarding these individuals are generally negative.
Hahaha. A buddy once dated this chick who was a total bitch. She got into it with another girl someplace (don't remember where exactly). She insulted this other girls hair and clothing, the other girl said something along the lines of "don't be petty, you're better than that". So she goes off "Bitch I was born petty! My whole fuckin family is petty!" etc. Then she proceeds to brag to everyone she talked to that night about her "awesome" comeback and how she "really told that girl".
...Yeah, you really showed her who the petty bitch was... way to be proud of that...
I never thought of it like that before. You make a good point. Plus it's easier than trying to change.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:53:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had forgotten that I once rolled with this technique, then I found myself judging so quickly despite the fact that I may have looked like that to other people at some point.
I would say it comes from the mentality "At least I know what I am (so your insult is lost on me since I already know)"
When I tell people I'm a shitty person, I'm not fishing for compliments. I'm giving a heads up. Things will be fine and dandy for a while but that shit just shines through and I don't want you to be caught off guard by it.
Though I do believe it's probably helped me keep friendships because they can call me out when I'm acting especially shitty. They know I'll likely take it as a statement and not an attack. Then I'd have that "Oh crap, you're right" moment and apologize as needed.
I think of it as someone taking Tyrion Lannisters advice to John Snow to mean that about their character flaws and not things you cannot change. Quote: "never forget what you are, wear it like armour, and it could never be used to hurt you."
Tip718 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:17:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, that is very much what I am talking about.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:43:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't wrap my mind around that, the only explanation is that she didn't know what petty means?
Also, "Good" is technically correct. "Good" is an adjective, which describes a noun or pronoun, "you" is a pronoun. So "How are you?" is answered correctly with "good," because you are describing yourself.
The sentence "I'm good," is technically correct.
The sentence "I'm doing good," is technically incorrect.
The word "well" is an adverb, which describes a verb, so if someone asks "how are you doing?" it is answered correctly with "well" because "doing" is a verb, and you need to describe it with an adverb.
So "I'm doing well," is technically correct.
Saying "I'm well," is technically incorrect.
Why is this so hard for people to get through their heads? I've had this conversation with several people on several different occasions when they think they're being smart by telling me that I shouldn't answer "how are you?" with "good."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:16:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
5 minutes in this thread, and I'm about to have a stroke.
Did she think she meant pretty? that's as sad but also funny.
WaLizard ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 20:41:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a guy and will openly admit that I'm a dick. At the same time though, if I'm being a dick to you then either you fucked up or I'm not even thinking about what I say and do until 5 seconds-1 minute after it happens.
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 18:43:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually had the opposite experience with this. A woman I greatly respect is in a leadership position in IT, and when she asks people hard questions--the same thing a man in her position would be expected to do--she tends to get labeled as a bitch behind her back.
As such, she's embraced it and taken to calling herself a bitch, since she's going to be called it regardless.
This is the issue. For many people, especially women, "being a bitch" just means practising assertiveness.
I would still be making poverty wages in my managerial job if I hadn't decided that I was going to be a cold, cutthroat bitch and ask for a reasonable pay rate.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:27:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep! I am rather assertive and "aggressive for a woman," but I am generally quite friendly. Still get labelled a bitch because I dare to have opinions. Thus the embracing it. However, the commenter above was using it in a very different way.
If being unlikeable is what I get for having a career, I'd rather wear the "bitch" tag than slink back.
I feel like I was labeled "the bitch" at my old job and if that was the label, I'm ok with that. I know this because when we were being treated unfairly my group of female coworkers would often ask me to being it up to our male boss because "you're ok with being a bitch". Even in social situations I've heard this, once a guy came to a house party and was being a dick to everyone and I was the one asked to make him leave because "you can be a bitch and get the point across". If standing up for myself, my friends and my rights means I have to be a bitch I'll gladly take the role. "Because you're a bitch..." is usually the beginning of a sentence about me getting something I/my group deserves.
Bitches and assholes usually have the best sense of humor, like that joke they pulled on you (the one where they made you think they were nice people while telling you all along in a nice voice that they were assholes).
My mother-in-law is proud of being a bitch, or as she would say it "the bitch". She's actually pretty cool and I get along with her great. Where this comes in though is she taught middle school for 30+ years. So that was always her retort when a student would call her a bitch.
Bitch is often synonymous with 'woman who is assertive and doesn't just do what I tell her to'. In that context, there's nothing wrong with being a bitch.
Goonz ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bitch is also associated with being a weak-willed coward that can't face confrontation.
stirwise ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:21:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you call a woman a bitch you're calling her a dog. If you call a man a bitch you're calling him a woman. The weak-willed coward definition is never used against women, only men.
"I'm a total bitch, because if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best. I ssooooooooo don't do drama, though. I hate it."
This is a clear indication that the person who said it will slash and burn your entire life to the ground, then piss on the ashes, and blame you for it.
This is actually a fun thing to say when someone's go-to response to coming across someone who they don't like or is doing something they don't like is to insult them and call them that.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:46:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're muff cabbage!
Wtfmarli ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:59:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's being a total cunt and then there's "bitch to get shit done".
For my job I have to be the bitch who gets shit done. I don't care if vendors hate me, my projects go out when their deadline is up and that's all I care about.
erilol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:51:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It would be nice if we didn't have to use those words to describe us.
Personally, I see the term as an offensive slur, and I react to it with the same taboo as I would any other slur.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:29:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
never understood why "pussy" was meant to mean "weak." Like, have you seen one? They bleed 1/6th of their lifetime, stretch open and push out a fucking human, take a pounding on a regular basis... Pretty badass if you ask me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:13 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. TIL. That's actually pretty interesting. And a great word.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only say this when it comes to drinking or to get out of going somewhere or staying out later. If I call myself a bitch, nobody else can.
I know people who do this all the time. My favorite formation of it is "I know I'm being a (bitch, asshole, pain in the ass, etc...), but...". Thank God you've made it clear that you're evil, not ignorant, and that this shitty thing you're about to do really is the product of an informed mind and therefore that much less forgivable.
VTCifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get where you're coming with this, but I'd rather have that then the "I'm not high maintenance!" BS.
I had an abusive ex who would use any protests from me as an excuse to call me a bitch and deride me. So (after the breakup) when I had to take the keys to the truck we bought "together" for him to drive but he conveniently couldn't pay for anymore, he said "bitch" and I said "Yeah, you called me bitch so much I actually learned how to be one," and I drove that truck away feeling quite proud of myself.
God yes. I have a co-worker who says she's "sassy," which is really just another way for her to say, "I'm going to be a bitch to you and pretend that it's ok, because I'm sassy."
Linearts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So is that worse than or less bad than being a bitch but refusing to accept/admit it?
"Hey stop being a bitch"
"What are you gonna do about it?" continues acting bitchy
That sort of thing was what made me hate FPH the most. Not the bullying and all that. But being proud of and calling each other "Shitlords," an insult I've never actually heard someone say
brijjen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "I'm just being honest!" when they're being judgmental assholes. Honest or not, there's tact, if you're even in a position where it's appropriate to give your opinion.
I'm not overly fond of the random accoutrements (key chains, license plate frames, tee shirts,mets.) that proclaim their owners to be bitches. Why would anyone promote themselves as that?
That's why I can't stand that song "I'm a bitch" (or whatever it's called). It's a whole song by a woman bragging about how bitchy and unpredictable she is. So you say that "tomorrow you will change, and today won't mean a thing"? Wow, that's something I really value in a person. You are so right to be proud of it. Gag. It especially bugs me when I see a group of women at a bar all singing it loud and proud.
I call myself a bitch but not because I think I'm a bad person. I'm assertive, I do my job incredibly well and take it seriously, and don't beat around the bush. And because of that, I'm a bitch. So I just own it at this point. I'm incredibly kind hearted I think, will always go out on a limb for friends or coworkers but that apparently doesn't matter. Get a little bossy with a vagina, your a bitch. May as well own it.
It's the owning up but not taking responsibility. They don't even have to be brazen. I know a couple of women who've called themselves bitches. Usually I'd spot this but I was dubious and went on. They didn't explain why they're bitches, apologise, try to change as far as I can tell. It's only when I saw them behave certain ways that I understood and bailed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone says it in a prideful way. Some people just say it as a warning :/
EViL-D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I admit I'm a bitch, not because I'm proud of it per say but because I'm sarcastic and have trust issues/issues with vulnerability so I tend to be frigid and I just want people to know what they're getting in to.
I feel so bad when I read these threads and I'm like shit I do that :(
Oh god, this is my mother in law. "You know me, I don't have a filter! I'm a bitch and I speak my mind!" AKA- I think its totally fine to stick my nose where it doesn't belong and dominate all over everyone because I have a superiority complex.
bawnmawt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I refer to myself as a bitch because I am confident, assertive, and determined. Leadership qualities in men, frowned upon in women frequently. Therefore, if I do something exhibiting these traits and someone calls me a bitch, I own that shit. Yeah, I am a bitch and I'm going to be your boss in two years so step down.
I'm a dude and I'd probably cry, too. I'm not an angry or violent type person, so when I get exceptionally pissed, I end up wanting to cry the anger out, I guess?
Crying is a stress reaction, so I cry when I'm pissed too. I actually have three stages Wanting to punch someone, Crying, and then just being really tired. They go in random order but it tends to be that.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:19:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'd just end up having a mental/anxiety breakdown.
Dunno why, just happens if people are yelling at each other angrily.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:46:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd just end up having a mental/anxiety breakdown.
They have chaplains for that very reason. During basic, if you feel like you're overwhelmed and you can't handle something, you just let somebody know and they have people trained to deal with that sort of stress help you out. It's very unlikely that chaplain would be new and it's very likely they've seen the type of stress that you're having. Often people join the military because they literally have nowhere else to go. You see people without family living on the street joining just so they have a bed to sleep in. Not saying the military is for everybody, but being scared of yelling isn't a reason not to join.
They have chaplains for that very reason. During basic, if you feel like you're overwhelmed and you can't handle something, you just let somebody know and they have people trained to deal with that sort of stress help you out.
interesting.
Often people join the military because they literally have nowhere else to go.
Pretty much what happened with my husband.
Parents were assholes to him and said "gtfo" despite him having a job.
I think it turned out for the better, though; I finally live with him and he has a nice future.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:01 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was the same way. She had no dad and grandma's an abusive alcoholic, so she left as soon as she possibly could. Military was the fastest route to get the farthest away.
As a vet, if you actually had the balls to swing on a DS/DI/RDC/TI etc, they would break every bone in your face. To them, it's like finding a $50 bill on the ground. They've been wanting to just beat the shit out of you since day zero, and given the opportunity, they'll milk it.
And I promise you, they're beefier than any recruit that steps through their doors, as they have to be.
nhilante ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 22:18:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if they know they don't handle such an environment well wouldn't that make "I couldn't join the military" a valid phrase? I yelled back and did 2 weeks in military prison. I shouldn't have but sometimes stress is too much.
I think it's less about about not being able to handle the environment and more about the "I'd kick that guy's ass" part.
My personal variation would be something to the effect of "I couldn't join the military. If a Drill Sergeant got in my face I'd say something smart ass and get the shit kicked out of me."
valvilis ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 03:22:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smart ass prior airman here, can confirm. My training flight did many hours of PT on account of me not being able to not laugh - but our TIs were hilarious, and I understood the break-down/build-up premise, so I lacked some of the necessary fear. TI could pick out my chuckle from the far end of drill practice, over 60 recruits marching. We got burned for about an hour once on account of me.
We had this big, goofy guy - total doofus. TI sees him screwing up our formation... again. TI: "Hey, if you can't stop fucking up my formation, fantasizing about being a big, half-retarded penguin, waddling like you're on the way to the cake and ice cream store..." something to that effect. I snickered, he somehow knew and called me up.
TI: "Valvilis, do you think I'm funny?!" Easy question, right?
Me: "Sir, I believe you're funny when and only when you mean to be." TI freezes as his brain grinds to a halt. Then he smirks. It vanished instantly, and I was the only one who saw it, but I broke his composure and I knew I was screwed. Oh well, good times.
TI: Trainee, do you fantasize about being a big, half-retarded penguin?
Trainee: SIR, NO, SIR!
TI: BULLSHIT, I BET YOU COULD FOOL MR. POPPER, SKULLFUCK THE REMAINS OF JIM CARREY'S CAREER, AND STILL GET BACK IN TIME TO FUCK UP MY FORMATION.
Thank you for that story. I really needed a laugh.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:33:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, MTI's... one of the dipshits in my flight was fucking whistling on our way out to the drill pad in our second week. They didn't know who did it so we did PT while WHISTLING until he finally gave himself up. And then we did more PT.
I swear all the MTI's that passed had the biggest grins on their faces.
Ugh, I was always the dumb ass that just shouted "SIR YES SIR", to God on high. Hoping they would just realize I was an imbecile, and not worthy of their more uh, creative punishments and insults....
My TI had a sense of humor too, same with my brother flight's MTI. When we were getting our warrior flight ribbon, 2 trainee's walked by and my TI decided to fuck with them. I don't remember all of what he said but he told one guy "stop looking at me with those Googly eyes! Now I'm gonna have nightmares about midgets, clowns and your Googly eyes" My flight and my brother flight all started coughing to hide our laughter.
That should be considered entrapment. That comment was hilarious.
nhilante ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 23:13:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh yea, there would be no ass kicking. My short service was mandatory though, so there were lots of moments like that. It's a strange environment to be in when you're forced to be there. What you figure out, if you let your ego down (which is the best thing you learn imo) is that they have to act the same way towards everyone and you can't make them look bad.
Imagine this, a higher up is giving an engineer an order that doesn't make sense, the engineer through time learns to just say "yes, sir" and still do it his way but if he chooses to talk back, even naively wanting to provide a better solution, he will be punished for it.
But yea i totally get the "big talks". It doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, you don't talk back if you want a smooth ride. Your officer is not evil, your officer does not hate you, it's just the way things are, and that is a good lesson i find.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there no such thing as assault in the military?
Sha-WING ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 23:35:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well sure there is, but if a recruit swings first, all bets are off. We had a guy in MCT swing the butt of his rifle right into the side of another guy's head. The instructors were gifted the chance to tackle the shit out of that asshole because he was a threat.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:35:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I'm glad we are not forced in military where I live. This kind of shit boils my blood.
I don't know if you're confused, because your statement was sort of ambiguous... but the US (who he's talking about) doesn't have a forced military. All of those people chose to be there.
derefr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I've always wondered: in a military with a draft, can you fight your way out? Like, I don't care if I have to get tackled by five guys and have my leg shot off by the guy standing next to me and maybe flogged for good measure, if it means I can go home a week later.
You're right - there wasn't a single case of a DI striking a recruit when I went through boot camp. It's not really tolerated anymore, and it can ruin a DI's career. In fact, I served with a sergeant who got NJP'd and kicked off the drill field for doing it.
They didn't need to hit people; they had much, much nastier ways of breaking recruits.
4Sken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:53:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The big thing to remember is that you are under supervision at all times except when you're sleeping. Everything you do is controlled, from the moment you wake up to the moment that you go to sleep. They tell you when to piss, they tell you when to eat, they tell you when to lie down and get up and march and stop. And all of this is enforced with Incentive Training. Incentive Training is worth another post in and of itself, but we'll just suffice to say that it involves physical exercise, and it is unpleasant.
Anyway - if they decide that they don't like you because you have an attitude or whatever, they just fuck with you all day, every day. For example - you are required to reply to every order you get with "Aye aye, sir." This applies at mealtimes - if you get told to do something while you're eating, you are supposed to spit out the food and respond.
So, they just station a DI right next to you who will yell at you for everything the moment that you put food in your mouth. So now you don't get to eat.
When you're marching, the kill hats (junior DIs who are charged with enforcing discipline) typically run around the platoon yelling at everyone. If you piss them off, you'll have one of them focusing exclusively on you. And no, you can't win. There is always something wrong. So, whenever they stop for a break, they send off the idiots to the sand pit for incentive training... and you're always among them. And when someone else fucks up, they'll make you his Best Buddy, so you have to go to incentive training with him.
Then they'll turn everyone against you by punishing the rest of the platoon like in Full Metal Jacket. The difference is that this was a last resort in FMJ - it's omnipresent in real life. Any time that the DIs want to punish the platoon, they blame you. And they'll make everyone yell "Thank you, Recruit <name>" over and over again. They'll make it personal, too - they'll punish your bunkmate, your squad leader, and your friends every time you fuck up. So now your friends hate you, and so does the platoon.
Normally, at bedtime, you get 45 minutes of free time to relax, write letters home, and so on. The problem is that you have to pass a hygiene inspection first. They'll fail you over and over and over again so you don't get your free time.
And then they'll fuck with your sleep by giving you guard duty every night on the second hour and the second-to-last hour, so your 8 hours of sleep becomes four hours of sleep. Sometimes they'll wake you up at midnight, too, just for shits and giggles.
Wash, rinse, repeat for months.
gtlgdp ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:28:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like I would absolutely never want to join the Marines
Just don't be That Guy (there's one in every platoon), and you're good. Boot camp sucks, but it's not that bad as long as you stay under the radar. If you're a punk or a Private Pyle, your life will be hell.
The DIs didn't know my name until a month in, which was fantastic.
adaminc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As they said in the CF, be the grey man.
smoofles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Just don't be That Guy
That Guy Who Joined The Marines, you mean?
From the stories people write, army jail doesnโt sound that bad. Not sure Iโd want to put up with imbeciles trying to "incentive train" the humanity out of meโฆ
Edit: Not that thereโs anything wrong with Marines. I just think itโs also good to realize one isnโt a good fit. :)
Depends. Preconfinement and short-term time is basically amped-up restriction. You sit in a cell and stare at the wall, and occasionally you get taken to the PX in shackles to get your hair buzzed. Your food consists of takeout trays from the chow hall, which is mediocre but probably better than a civilian jail.
Short sentences are basically like boot camp with less yelling; you live in a squad bay, do menial labor, and PT a lot.
Long sentences are prison with more guards, fewer rights, no parole, and less of the "inmates running the show" that happens in understaffed civilian prisons.
If I had to do time, it would be in a military prison, but I'd rather just shut up and color and get out with an honorable discharge.
Source: Lived with brig guards, who were even worse degenerates than the MPs. Marines tend to be dysfunctional people to begin with, but MPs are terrible human beings. Not surprising that they all want to become police officers when they get out.
Also, DIs tend to be above-average NCOs. The dregs who have to do a B-billet tend to go into recruiting.
Anyway, what I described is the heavy end of the stick. There are people who think, "Hey, what's the worst that they could do to me," and the DIs make them realize very quickly that things can become very, very bad. Moral of the story is to drop the attitude and don't be a shitbag.
smoofles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, cool, I learned something new today. :)
Yeah, Iโm sure DIs wonโt just put you into a cell if they can make an example out of you, and even if you manage a phyrric victory against one, thereโs no end of officers whoโve got nothing better to do than take over you case.
But yeah, better to not sign up in the first place, then.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too.
derefr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My question reading that is... nobody ever breaks and decides to shoot up a boot camp? (Or, you know, improvise some explosive devices, etc.) I mean, the public schools with school shootings aren't one tenth that bad, and the guns aren't nearly as handy. (Obviously, that also implies that it's very easy to take the crazy guy down but fast, but it'd still have happened.)
People break all the time, but it's usually relatively non-destructive. You only get bullets during the rifle range, and they are very, very strictly accounted for... for that reason. There are people on guard duty during the night to watch for people trying to run away / attempt suicide. And, of course, your daytime is so strictly controlled that you have no time to yourself.
Many recruits in this situation quit, in which case they add insult to injury and make you call your parents and tell them how much of a piece of shit you are. Since I joined during the Surge, they did the further nastiness of keeping quitters around for several months as an example to other people considering doing the same. "Fastest way off this island is to graduate."
Others make it through and go off to the rest of training. Hilariously, how well you do in boot camp has relatively little bearing on how well you do as a Marine. My guide is currently in the brig for rape, and one of our platoon shitbags got meritorious corporal and sergeant once he got out to his unit. Some people are just derpy in boot camp.
In our platoon, our most egregious shitbag (there were others) broke around Week 3. We had our ILBEs (internal frame packs) strapped to the bunk (rack, in Marine parlance, except I fucking hated the Navy terminology) - you detached the straps with the quick-release, ran the straps through the bunk, and then reconnected the straps. We had to go get our packs and present them for inspection. Anyway, this kid couldn't get his pack off the bunk, so he got sharked by four DIs. Sharking is actually hilarious to watch, as it involves the following:
One drill instructor gets in your face and yells about your infraction(s).
Another drill instructor yells right in your ear about your moral, mental, and genetic failings from the side.
The remaining drill instructors provide moral support by yelling incoherently in your other ear, throwing your shit everywhere, banging your bunk up and down, stomping, slamming the walls, and so on.
Eventually, the senior drill instructor (the Good Cop / Jim Jones leader of the cult) will "save" you and send the DIs back to yelling at everyone else. Your job in the meantime is to yell "Aye aye sir" at top volume until it's over.
Anyway, he broke before the senior could get to him, crawled into the fetal position, started crying, and lost bowel control while the heavy hat went "WOOOOOO OH YEAH BABY" like he'd scored a touchdown. He wasn't the same after that; he sat in front of the squad bay sucking his thumb while they figured out the paperwork to get his ass out of there. That was the only time that I was legitimately scared during my time there - seeing a 27-year-old man regress to being a little kid. He got sent home as quickly as possible, and he ended up hanging himself a few weeks later. That dude's recruiter has a place reserved for him in hell; it was flagrantly obvious that he didn't belong there.
I was a radio tech who supported air traffic control on a training base.
As a guy on Terminal Lance put it so succinctly, "You are not the tip of the spear. You are not the butt of the spear. You are not even the box that the spear came in. You are the Fedex driver who delivered the box with the spear in it."
Hence the screen name.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds pretty cool. I'm nothing รผber spectacular. Wheeled vehicle mechanic and recovery. You Call We Haul!
USN EM3 here. I'm pretty sure that 80% of jobs in the navy fall under the POG umbrella, and the other 20% have god-awful advancement rates.
Take Yeoman for example, easiest job in the military (unjamming a paper shredder is the most difficult part of the job), and advancement has historically been super-open and easy. Then take any of the Seabee rates and look at the abysmal 4-13% advancement rates.
Then there's the SEALs, who make Chief by the time they're 22, but they get tons of spot-promotions, early promotions, and essentially ace the exam by simply putting their name on the test.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait so in basic training, you dun fucked up, so they put you in prison delaying your training for two weeks? Or did you have other things while in prison?
nhilante ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did the time at the very end instead of being released.
There's a fantastic excerpt from Starship Troopers that goes into this.
I may have given the impression that boot camp was made harder than necessary. This is not correct.
It was made as hard as possible and on purpose. It was the firm opinion of every recruit that this was sheer meanness, calculated sadism, fiendish delight of witless morons in making other people suffer.
It was not. It was too scheduled, too intellectual, too efficiently and impersonally organized to be cruelty for the sick pleasure of cruelty; it was planned like surgery for purposes as unimpassioned as those of a surgeon. Oh, I admit that some of the instructors may have enjoyed it but I donโt know that they did โ and I do know (now) that the psych officers tried to weed out any bullies in selecting instructors. They looked for skilled and dedicated craftsmen to follow the art of making things as tough as possible for a recruit; a bully is too stupid, himself too emotionally involved, and too likely to grow tired of his fun and slack off, to be efficient. Still, there may have been bullies among them. But Iโve heard that some surgeons (and not necessarily bad ones) enjoy the cutting and the blood which accompanies the humane art of surgery.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome book!
derefr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:45:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They looked for skilled and dedicated craftsmen to follow the art of making things as tough as possible for a recruit
You get all types of people as drill sergeants. It's a job that they're assigned to do (while also being a whole lot more than that). The majority of them aren't actually assholes, they are supposed to be the adversary that the platoon can "unite against". This promotes teamwork and togetherness - core tenants of the military. Maybe the job is a bully's wet dream, but I don't think someone who is unnecessary cruel would last long in that position. Other drill sergeants world make sure he would get the boot, because one of the most important characteristics of a drill sergeant is professionalism. They should be GI-fucking-Joe to new recruits - an example of everything an NCO should be.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you like sleep or not being under a microscope. They also have a ridiculously high divorce rate.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, but DIs are not dicks. At least, I've never met one that wasn't a cool guy outside of his job. Being angry all the time is pretty tiring, you know?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely not. Their job is two fold; to get rid of the trash and to build up the rest. If you are so stupid (or can't control your emotions, or immature, or any other adjective you wanna use that signifies someone who can't hang) to attack a sergeant like that they will take the trash out efficiently and in a way that makes them look like a great leader to the rest. They actually care about the recruits a ton.
At least, the good ones do. Yes, there are some that are just assholes. But that's any job.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back in high school, I was on Science Olympiad/Ocean Science Bowl/Science Bowl, and loved marine science. I thought I might join the Navy; took the ASVAB, and maxed it out before the recruiter even came back in to check on me.
We had a short talk, and he basically said it would be insane of me to even think of enlisting. Go to Annapolis, to ROTC, or stay away, because otherwise I'd be the smartass with a broken face and a shitton of regrets. Ended up staying away from the military completely.
I dunno man, there's some pretty good perks. You get pretty much all your expenses covered by uncle sam, you get some life experience, gi bill for college, looks great on a resume.
And if said recruit is somehow beefier than them, SHARK ATTACK
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In OCS, every single one of my Sergeant Instructors was a MCMAP black belt, too. So in addition to being fairly big guys, I knew for a fact they could put me on the ground in a second if they wanted.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree they're beefier than any recruit, but 99/100. The other 1 that might be, is probably plenty disciplined enough not to fuck around...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the time. My dad was a DI and he's pretty tiny. Still scared the shit out of recruits though, they called him an "evil little man"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, sign me up! When does we gets to make freedoms?
DerpGrub ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:36:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my uncle joined the marines around Vietnam. he said he even had to ask the Drill Sergeant if he could go to the bathroom. i guess one time he didn't and the guy kicked in the stall door and grabbed him by the neck mid shit and dragged him out of the bathroom in-front of everyone and had them choose what his punishment was. i guess it was PT or beating at that time. and he took the PT then got his ass beat later by the sergeant. not sure if it's true because he has quoted FMJ a few times(jokingly) so i know he's seen movies about it...
The military during the years after Korea was.....different. There are many, many horror stories about some of the fucked up shit that happened, but one amongst a number of things Drill Sergeant's could do(that they could no longer do today) was upright kick the crap out of you(and in many cases, your superiors striking you in Basic training is not only uncommon but almost expected).
To be fair, in the days of Vietnam, striking a recruit was seen as poor form, and that remained the norm up until that aspect of acceptable punishment became verboten in the '90s
I think this stems from some strange obligation dudes have to justify why they didn't join the military but come away with their manliness intact when they encounter someone who is in the service.
You didn't join the Army. It's cool bro. I'm not judging you because you chose a different path in life. I'm judging you because you made an incredibly douchey comment.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:53:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly it! It's equally bad or worse when they try to top you with a relatives military accomplishments or the infamous line "Oh you're in the Army? You know my buddy Steve then right!?"
Yes. Especially when they try to make that branch sound superior. "You're in the Army, huh? That's cool. My brother is a Marine, so..."
Good for your brother. You're still a douchebag.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:13:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh you're mechanic? Too much of a pussy to be infantry?"
"Well what did you do Billy badass?"
"Oh me? I never joined. But my buddy Steve was an airborne infantry delta seal scout special forces sniper ranger"
Let's not forget how fun it is when a civilian dudebro tries to shame you for not killing anyone. It's even more fun when they tell you how much better they'd be at your job than you.
Joke's on him. Steve probably thinks Billy is a gaping cum dumpster.
It amazes me when people ask what I do and are confused when I say Field Artillery. I inevitably have to say "you know, big guns". And they're like "Ohhh, yeah....".
You have no fucking idea what I'm talking about, do you?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:38:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then you start talking about wolf pussy and they get uncomfortable and walk away
Haha yeah. At best I am now that weird Army guy who is into bestiality.
tyrghast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I deal with that from a few people going nowhere in their lives back home. I was playing a game with one of them online and he started cracking jokes on the navy. I guess it's cool to be selling used cars in a shit town instead of working on super hornets and racking up A&P license skills or my GI Bill.
eyesick ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 01:03:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a lot of friends that were in the military, and talked with them all about basic training, the one thing I would be afraid of is laughing when they got in my face. All that yelling and spitting while they say some of the most ridiculous shit they could think of, yeah, I would probably giggle and end up cleaning toliets with my own toothbrush for the entire time I was there.
A lot of it is pretty hilarious if you can take a step back and view what is happening with the perspective of an outsider.
When I was in basic my drill sergeant got so mad at us for talking during the land navigation course that he made us low crawl along the ground picking up rocks, bring it up to him (still in a low crawl), give it a name, and then put it back where we found it.
It's funny now but it was pretty tiring and degrading at the time.
One of my buddies from AIT told me about how one of his platoon mates had to carry around a plant for a few weeks because he had to replace the oxygen he wasted for being alive. Degrading and hilarious.
Reminds me of when I accidentally knocked over my drill sergeants mt dew. He made me choose a battle buddy to be punished with (I just picked the chick that already hated my guts) and spent the next 5 hrs low crawling in the hot ass tar pit (ground up tire bits that got slightly melty in the summer Carolina heat) picking out all the pebbles that crossed over from the gravel pit right next to it. My battle had to organize them into "platoons" on the black top, based on size. Every time I crawled over a spot, more pebbles would be uncovered, and every time he came to check our progress, he would kick more in. It was maddening, but after he decided I'd been sufficiently punished, he had me pick one from the black top, name it, and keep it as a sort of reminder.
HA I actually do (though I'd have to dig for it by now). It turned into my stress rock. Every time something sucked I would hold it, coz it helped me remember no matter how much I hated doing something, there were ALWAYS worse things I could be doing.
To me, the coolest things are the plain objects with an awesome story behind them. I have this towel that my dad took with him during Desert Storm. There is a picture I have of him in his tent in Kuwait with this ugly ass towel hanging behind him. I brought it with me to Afghanistan. I joke that the towel has survived two wars. Perhaps one day my son will bring the war towel to a foreign land and carry on this fine tradition.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:08:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It happens though. Totally worth getting smoked for some things
Catkii ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 23:59:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't be dumb enough to yell back but my internalized anger and hate would get out one way or another, and it would not have a nice ending for me.
I hate being told who I have to "respect" because their position dictates I respect them. No, you are actually a shitcunt who means nothing to me.
That's exactly why the saying
"If you don't respect the man, respect the rank" exists.
Believe me, you don't have to respect the actual person. A military with that principle would be pretty ineffective.
Catkii ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:54:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it was how my parents raised me but respect was always earnt and never deserved.
I completely agree. Just because someone out-ranks me does not guarantee my automatic respect for them as a person. They still need to earn it.
You only have to respect their rank if you don't want to make life very difficult for yourself.
Catkii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:02:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To an extent I agree - say a typical work place boss. But what I've heard from friends in the forces it sounds like it's still above and beyond what I'd be willing to give to a higher up.
That's working in general. Yeah you can keep jumping job to job until you find a great boss. But while looking you have to respect the title because otherwise you have no job and no job often means no home/food.
Catkii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:29:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From what I witnessed through friends and such was that it was more than the respect required for my boss who coincidentally is a dick but he's rarely around and never in your face.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:38:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't agree with you more on this.
je66b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i wouldnt be dumb enough to join the military
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:58:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
je66b ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:16:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so 7% of the military is smart?
i was more so speaking on the fact that i dont wanna be shot at or killed by a cell phone shooting at people i dont know for a cause i was for all intents and purposes, ordered to care about. im saying this regardless of how wrong my viewpoint on that matter may be.. my life isnt worth any of that and if someone thinks theirs is, theyre dumb.
and while im at it, sure im fortunate to grow up in a first world country but i have no desire to debate any of that.. thats just like.. my opinion, man.
Only combat arms see combat... That's less than 10% of the military, and those guys volunteer to do that for their own reasons. Some are adrenaline junkies, some have family ties, some want to protect their country, whatever the choice that's their reason, and it should be respected. 90% of the people in the military will NEVER fire a gun outside of basic and never see combat.
anon445 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:30:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
family toes
What about friendly fingers? I hear that's also a thing
I wouldn't necessarily say that only combat arms jobs ever see combat. They are the only ones purposely sent into combat, yes, but anyone can see combat just by virtue of the fact that they are deployed in a hostile fire zone.
Truck drivers aren't a combat MOS, but those bastards get IED'd and ambushed like nobody's business.
Catkii ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:47:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I considered it briefly for a technical role but then remembered I'd probably still have to deal with the meat heads and then I stopped thinking about it
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:48:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the wrong thing to say. Especially considering the Military's tech is 30-40 years ahead of civilian's and all that tech is developed by the Military.
Especially considering the Military's tech is 30-40 years ahead of civilians
You're out of your mind. The vast majority of military tech is tried, proven, dependable, and old as fuck. There is cutting-edge stuff being developed, but all of it is done by civilian contractors and tested by special research detachments. Everyone else works with tech that's been in use for decades. The M16 was invented during the Vietnam War. The M2 was in use during WW2. I worked on the AN/GRC-211 and 171, both of which are older than dirt. Our radar was built in the late 50s. Our TACAN was built sometime in the late 70s.
Not only that, most of the innovations in military tech are incremental. So the "new and improved" technology that comes out every ten years or so was really developed in the 60s, and small improvements get made every once in a while.
The only exception is in the airwing. And even there, the vast majority of planes in service are, again, tried and dependable.
je66b ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:17:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i can count on a room full of peoples hands how many people have passed through my life who never developed anything for the military other than a hatred for it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:17:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're confusing respecting the person with the position.
Really anytime plays with hypothetical superhero moments like this, you have to roll your eyes. "Oh yeah? If 5 guys jumped you, you'd beat their ass? Those two years of Aikido you did in middle school sure will help!"
jimanri ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:59:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i couldnt join the military becouse i piss myself when somebody yells at me
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:06:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a tea cup chihuahua?
jimanri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes, yes i am
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you thought no one would discover you were a dog on the internet...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing like some fuck fuck games to set a private straight
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the time I was at the shooting range and the guy beside me was going on and on to anyone that would listen how he was so amazing with guns and when he joined the Army he would be teaching the instructor a thing or two and they would be asking him for advice. Good luck with that mate, let us know how it works out for you
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those guys are always the worst shots. And they're the most frustrating when you're the safety on a zero range trying to help them succeed and they refuse to listen
Lol never heard someone actually say that but that's probably the dumbest thing someone could say about a Drill Sergeant.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No it's quite the opposite, I'd either suffer a mental breakdown or retreat into my shell and become an emotionless drone.
Zemogray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If I were in [insert random situation] I'd kick that guys ass" woah there tiger
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah my favorite is when people talk about getting robbed and that person comes out with "Oh let him try that on me." I'm like.. he has a gun and they somehow think they are faster?
Day Zero of BASIC, Summer of 1990-something - We were lining up in the chow hall for dinner and the DS got up in one pvt's face about his "attitude" [in all fairness, dude had a really annoying smirk that was apparently a permanent fixture of his face and a piss-poor attitude] and this dumb kid actually hauled off and popped the Drill square on the nose...
I'm sure any one that has 5+ years of MMA training and fight expierence would do alright depending on size advantage or disadvantage and the level of combatives the drill instructor is at.
On an Air Force page on Facebook (What the piss, Trainee if anyone is interested) Someone commented "I can't wait for a TI to get in my face! I'm gonna yell "Shut up, honkey!"
Especially for when the person talks to a recruiter and all then backs out because they want to try and be successful at something else then ends up back at square one. If you're not going to go through with it at least have the balls to say it won't be for you.
I tend to hate any of that macho posturing. Aside from sounding like a jackass, you look even worse if you get your ass kicked.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At some point they'll just hit you. And then they'll say you fell. Or they'll throw you and say you fell. Don't piss them off. They have a high rate of suicide, divorce, drinking issues, etc. They don't need your shit. Go to training, get trained, don't fuck with them, and send them a mother fucking fruit basket when you leave or some of that shit from edible arrangements.
I in fact did watch someone attempt this. For some reason he picked a fight with the most badass DS there was. The DS was 82nd Airborne with his ranger tab. About 6'2 and solid as fuck. The guy swung once, and then ate sand and was choked out by the DS in 5 seconds. Hilarious it was. Not so much for the dumbass private who then found out what JAG was.
Similarly, I detest how, once finding out that you were in the military, people often say some shit like: "oh, I was going to join (military branch), but I don't like people telling me what to do". As if they're too cool and edgy for the military.
NEWS FLASH: almost nobody likes being told what to do! Serving in the military isn't about being an unquestioning cock-gobbler and you're not above anyone serving in it just because you have a minor problem with authority.
Somewhat relevant: I was buying beer the other day and the cashier saw my military ID. He asked me what branch I was in and I told him I was in the Marines. The dude then replied "I was going to join the Marines, but I figured I was too smart for that". I was almost apoplectic with anger. Also, good job on his part, working at a gas station; I'm glad he found employment in an intellectually suitable field.
heap42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I wouldn't but I wouldn't give any fuck either... Probably the reason I was acquitted from mandatory military service...
what would be the outcome be if someone did yell back to a drill sergeant, or pushed the drill sergeant out of their space?
khitsule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh sounds like something my brother would say. He "doesn't respond to authority" and will get shitty at say, a cop telling him and not asking to do something trivial because of the authority aspect.
He changes jobs frequently because, I quote, he "will start shit with the boss because he has a problem with authority so quits before its enough to get sacked."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I hear this sometimes and it is highly amusing. I would cry. Almost no one has ever yelled at me before.
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i had a guy say this to me once when we were drinking... i said "i wouldnt, i would be the good little boy that they needed me to be and do exactly what they fucking told me to."
i never joined the military, but the gent that said it bailed out in 2 weeks, of Canadian Airforce Basic. didnt get kicked out, bailed....
he was a pussy...
skooched ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I would just sit there and resent him...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if you did they'd make your life there hell. And if you refused to participate in the fuck fuck games then they'd try to article you enough until they can chapter you. A lot less scary. Yes the military has gone soft and is getting softer. But still, Drills aren't people to fuck with
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mistake for misspeaking. But what you said is basically what I was trying to say. Except correct lol
I like to tell people I could never join the military because if a drill sergeant got in my face I would drop... into the fetal position and cry like a baby. Then everyone would make fun of me mercilessly... Eventually leading to me blowing my brains out in the bathroom.
I may be a coward, but I'm honest about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, I wouldn't make fun of you for not acting like a douche. But only if you cried into my shot glass so I could do shots of your tears
What do they get from trying to impress other people with your machoisms anyway?
Major ups to anyone who decided to join though. Takes a real man to be humble and have control over oneself in the face of a DI/DS. Or to deal with the consequences of not being able to do so for that matter.
BATHULK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:22 on August 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me, it would go one of two ways. I cry at the drop of a hat; I seriously cry at everything. It's pathetic. But I also laugh when I'm nervous/scared. So I imagine that if I was being yelled at by a drill sergeant, I would be laughing and choking on my own tears at the same time... Shit would get ugly fast.
"You're doing the Mr. Mom thing today?" No. No I'm not. I'm doing Dad shit. I'm taking my kid to the park, and then we're going for ice cream, and then we're going to go home where I'll give him a bath and read him some books. Then when he goes to sleep I'll do the dishes and clean up. And no, that's not just today, that's every day. Some days with laundry added. And that's not Mom stuff or Dad stuff, frankly, that's parent stuff. So instead of calling me "Mr. Mom" as some backhanded way of complimenting me while perpetuating outdated stereotypes, just tell me you think I'm doing a good job with my kid. Better yet, don't say anything. I came to the park for my son, not for you. EDITS: Wow - gold! That's never happened to me before, so thanks to all! Also punctuation and grammar. Also there seems to be the impression that I am a stay at home Dad. I wish I were. I do all this stuff after work and on weekends.
mstibbs13 ยท 3504 points ยท Posted at 21:11:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have always hated when people refer to dads having to "babysit" while mom does other things. No, babysitting is when you watch someone elses kid.
That's the best way to deal with any kind of bigotry. When they have to explain themselves, they realize how sexist/racist/whatever they're being.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:36:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly how I would react!
Gamiac ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:48:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Honestly, I'd be legit confused, and say the same thing. I'd probably add, "Isn't that when you take care of other people's kids?"
Naggins ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:59:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Works well for most things, especially weird sexist/homophobic/racist comments. Just act confused and ask them to explain the "joke". Usually ends with them realising that it's actually a kind of awful thing to say.
[deleted] ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 22:58:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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tipsana ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 02:16:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would hear it from those dads who do jack shit around the house -- the ones who yell "the baby's diaper needs changing!" at their wives. "No, bro, I can only play 9 holes today. I have to babysit".
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 03:27:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man the ONE time my husband looked at me and said "she pooped" and thrust her toward me, I took her, disappeared for a minute, and came back with the baby and the diapers and wipes and handed her back to him.
Wow. Cleaning poop was a point of pride for me. My wife kind of gagged and pushed through it. I went through that shit(no pun intended) like a rock star and would have her cleaned and changed in like 7 seconds.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome. I Haven't done it that fast but I was pretty proud when I improvised while away from home once. Ran out of diapers at family's house and used a menstrual pad and a burp cloth.
Granted this one time occurrence happened while he was working in the studio with his partner and she was sitting on his lap while he was mixing a song. I was cooking dinner though! It wasn't as though we weren't busy, and he was always attentive otherwise. But I'm not going to change a diaper and cook!
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:51:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, bro, I can only play 9 holes today. I have to babysit"
I overheard this from my soon to be ex-brother-in-law once, adding "Nah man, I'm giving my wife a night off." - for context, she worked six days a week and did ALL the house work, he worked maybe two days on a good week and either golfed or hunted.
My mother in law said this to me once! I went out for whatever reason and toddler was home with my husband/her dad and I was telling MIL about it and she goes "It's so nice that he babysits for you so you can do these things"
Uuuuhhhh, it's not babysitting if it's your own kid. I nearly burst a vein trying to contain my rage.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:20:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then the insinuations that you doing anything that isn't directly related to childcare while "someone else" watches the kid (even when it's their father) means you're a bad mother. "You go to the gym every day? You're letting strangers raise your kid!"
I don't even have kids and I want to punch people who say that shit. When did we become a country where you're a bad parent unless you literally don't take your eyes off your kid during every waking moment? It's insane.
KeketT ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:41:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And at the same time, don't give parents enough time to take care of their child after birth.
"You go to the gym every day? You're letting strangers raise your kid!"
No, I'm letting people she sees every day help raise her. Because a kid who has multiple adults in their life who care about their well-being is clearly so deprived...
Fucking people.
joos1986 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:56:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not in the same country as you (lot more emphasis on the the traditional gendered roles here), but my cousin just had a baby a few months back. She's pretty young, 25 at most. Arranged marriage, the whole thing, but she seems alright with it. Her husband's working abroad and she lives with her family, my aunt, and her other siblings.
Everybody kinda pitches in to take care of the kid, which is nice, but the stuff they keep telling my cousin really pisses me off. Like any moment she is not with her child, she's a bad mom. She went out with me to get an anniversary gift for her husband? An hour plus in she gets calls from home haranguing her about being irresponsible and careless and 'a bad mom'.
Worst thing is how it plays out like a catch-22. Like they use 'bad mommy' as a catch all whenever it's convenient. Like going out and stuff, she'll get permission, make sure someone's there to watch the baby, tells her mom first and everything. But once she's physically not with the baby, she's fair game for everyone to give her shit.
I keep telling my aunt and cousins that it's not fair and pretty much ridiculous to expect her to be with the baby 24/7. And whether she's not doing a 'good enough' job or not, she doesn't deserve the constant guilting and being the subject of whims.
That's so very true, unfortunately. My children's dad works quite a bit, about 60 hours a week. And although I have a full time job too, I feel like I have to ask him to keep an eye on the kids instead of just doing what I need to do. I accidentally perpetuate the situation because of guilt that I don't work as much as he does. If someone calls him while he is with the kids, he'll say he's "babysitting".
See, at least that doesn't perpetuate gender stereotypes, so it's good.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:28:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God, I fucking wish my brother would realize this. I feel so bad for his wife, to be honest. Just one example out of HUNDREDS - one time we had a family reunion, and he and his wife have 3 kids, and everyone was outside at the pool at my parents house. One kid shits their pants, and one kid asks for crackers, so my VERY pregnant sister in law is like "I'll grab the crackers out of the diaper bag, will you please change [kid's] diaper?" And my brother in law goes , "No way that's your job, I'll grab the crackers." So my hella pregnant sister in law has to very painfully and slowly get down on her knees on cement changing a dirty diaper and literally starts tearing up a little from the pain of, you know, kneeling on cement when you've got a massive belly, while my brother just reaches over 6 inches to grab crackers for the other kid. I felt so bad for her in that moment.
And seriously that's just one of the things. Anytime she asks him to play with the kids for two seconds so she can shower, or take a nap, or even make dinner (which benefits HIM) or whatever, he huffs and puffs and complains like he's being forced to do slave labor. It's such fucking bullshit and I hate him for it. They are his kids too; fulfilling parental responsibilities are what is EXPECTED of him, not something to do if you want to go "above and beyond".
My buddy and his wife refer to it as Parent On Duty (P.O.D.) when they are the one responsible for their kids' wellbeing. One will ask the other to be P.O.D. so the former can get some work done, run some errands, or have a few drinks watching the game. Seems like a nice, neutral term for the situation.
Yeah this drives me nuts! I often hear dads say 'oh I'm babysitting today!', and I expect to see them with a whole herd of kids. But no, it's just theirs... That's not babysitting! That's being a dad!
Fucking haaaaaate babysit. No, he's my son, I am completely responsible for his life and I also enjoy the limited time we spend together. I also am not getting paid 10/hr to sext my high school quarterback boyfriend and raid the refrigerator.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. Babysitting is when you sit on a baby. It's right there, in the name. Jeez!
My mom always comments how nice it is of my husband to "babysit the kids." Over the years, I've lost more and more patience for that phrase. This weekend she said it and I turned my head very slowly to her and said, "You mean it's nice of him for performing his duties as a father so I can shop for work appropriate attire for my new job?" She laughed and dismissed it with a "oh, you know what I mean." No, no, please enlighten me. What DO you mean. Sometimes it boggles my mind how my whole life she reiterated how men and women are equal and can do the same things, yet she still subscribes to this type of backward thinking.
junkit33 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:27:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People commonly refer to either parent as "babysitting" when one is out for a night on the town while the other is stuck at home with the kids. Not really a mom/dad thing...
MHG73 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 00:22:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never heard of a mom 'babysitting' her own kids while the dad works/goes out with friends/goes out to do chores. Only ever the dad.
That's because they're so young, they're not mentally ready to be a mom yet.
Generally speaking.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:13:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I've never heard that on that show.
junkit33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what to tell you. Do you have kids? Maybe that's why you've never used it or heard it, but it's incredibly common in parenting lexicon.
"Hey do you mind babysitting Thursday night? There's a work outing I wanted to go to." or "Yeah I think I can go out, let me just make sure the wife can babysit." Or many other variations of the same concept...
Must be regional. Dad here, never heard that before when referring to my wife. Heard it all the time when it would be me and my child alone.
Ironic, considering during that time, my wife worked overnights and I was the sole caretaker 4 days a week. Yet even though I would regularly be 'only parent' over half the week, I was the only one ever accused of 'babysitting'.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:18:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Must be. I hear it a lot. Never use it between baby mama and myself in any serious sense, but me and fellow dads use it back and forth and we all love spending time with our kids. I too was the primary caretaker for my daughter. We use babysitting to describe the times where you aren't actually doing anything with your kid and you are just sort of present because a person has to be there even if they are passed out. I would never use it to describe the time I am actually spending with her.
An example would be being invited out for a late night beer but having to decline because mom is at her mothers or something. That to me is babysitting because I am not parenting, I am serving a role closer to a sitter and less of a dad.
erispie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:15:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an involved aunt and they don't even use babysitting to refer to me watching the kid(s), because I'm not hired help.
My wife and I use the term all the time too. Some people get perturbed by it. Which makes me use more in their presence.
erispie ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:14:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have NEVER heard it used this way. Babysitting is when you're watching someone else's kid. If one parent is out on the town then you're the one "home with the kid(s)."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear this every now and then. I usually say "No, I snatched these kids from the park and there's nothing you can do to stop me"...in my head right before I fake a laugh and shrug.
Duderds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some weird reason in my small backwards town they refer to it as babysitting whether mom or dad has the kids. It's pretty much the only time the phrase doesn't make me angry, it just confuses me slightly.
I agree with that, except for the fact that is exactly what my sister's baby daddy douche guy does. He will babysit his daughter every once and awhile but usually my sister watches her. Most fathers just watch their children, not this idiot.
What other short phrase more succinctly gets to the point of why you are otherwise occupied?
"I have to watch the kids" which is equally insulting of that sort if thing already bothers you, leads to follow-up questions. "I have to babysit" leads to "ah, gotcha"
When someone tells me they're babysitting, I end up asking, "Oh, who's kids?" Because I legitimately assume you're watching someone else's kids with your own.
Right, but what OP was saying is that "Home with my family (or kids) for the night" is a much longer phrase than "babysitting", which is a shorter phrase conveying what (to OP) is the same information. The attitude of trying to convey as much as possible in as few words as possible is a product of the inherent loss of formality which accompanies modernity (as well as the 140 character tweet.)
how about "i gotta parent"? "babysit" implies you're doing a job you wouldn't otherwise do. you're a parent, you're taking responsibility for your spawn.
Your first sentence isn't contradicted by your second sentence.
When I say "I'm babysitting" in reference to my own children, it means that 90% of my attention and effort during said period of time is focused on the wellbeing and entertainment and education of subject children.
If that phrase implies I'm doing something I wouldn't usually do, then it's 100% accurate. This isn't something I usually do.
If it implies that I resent said duty, then that isn't exactly accurate. Focusing my attention on my kids is often more enjoyable and rewarding than anything else I'm likely to do, but a lot of the time it's just exhausting and frustrating when I'm already exhausted and frustrated.
What it's intended to imply and I think communicates perfectly well is that what I'm doing (looking after my kids) is more important than whatever it is you want me to do, whether you like it or not, and whether I like it or not.
Edit: I should add, I see why people see it the way you do, I'm just saying that there's another side where that isn't the way it's intended. Not for everyone at any rate
mrhelton ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:21:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife gets so annoyed when I tell her I'll babysit our son while she goes out with my mom. I mostly do it on purpose now
As someone who often has nasal blockages this insult always makes me feel like I'm the worst person. People seem to really hate it
GunNNife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, my remark is pretty insensitive. As I understand it, the term in the insult is for the people who just stand there with their mouths gaping open because they are stupid, not because they actually can't breathe through the nose. Regardless, I regret my choice of insults.
There are family photos of my dad from the 80s (when I was a little too young to remember) with a t-shirt saying "Real Men Change Diapers". Pretty badass, I think.
stirwise ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 00:13:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The lesbian equivalent of that shirt is "We're both the real mom."
samoorai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend is a lesbian. I'd totally buy that shirt for her, if she had a kid.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:36:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm taking a dad shit.
That's when I lock myself in the bathroom because it's the ONLY GODDAMN QUIET I GET IN THIS HOUSE.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They still find you. They always manage to find you.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:11:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I wish I had more than one upvote for this. Also, how fucking 21st-century of /u/amsterdam_BTS !
So instead of calling me "Mr. Mom as some backhanded way of complimenting me while perpetuating outdated stereotypes, just tell me you think I'm doing a good job with my kid.
Right on.
eeeebbs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:49:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha. Or a "Mr. Dad" t-shirt. For some reason that's hilarious to me.
As a former Stay-At-Home Dad, it infuriated me when we'd go to the park and I'd get comments like this, all the time. Even worse, they were all on their phones or talking to each other while their kids ran around. Meanwhile I was playing with my daughter and inevitably ended playing with the other kids too, as they craved some attention. Then I'd get nasty looks from the moms when they noticed me playing with all the kids. And just to be clear, because society sucks, I made sure to never make contact with any kid but my daughter. All I ever did was play along with being a pirate or monster or whatever the flavor of the day was. Now I have 2 kids and people are always "so impressed" when I'm out alone with the 2 of them, and the cycle continues...
It amazes me how this sexist stereotype manages to insult everybody all at once, you know? It's insulting to you because it perpetuates this idea that for a dad to be involved is some massive feat, ergo implying your gender is an inferior parent and that you're abnormal for taking time or caring. And then it's insulting to the moms who do the same thing you're doing but get only criticisms and not praise because "that's their job" so it gets nitpicked instead of glorified.
Yeah, it's going to be a long time, or never, before these stereotypes go away. It's much too ingrained into our societal beliefs, but maybe with each generation it will get a little better.
This has been one of the oddest realizations of becoming a parent for me: the threshold for good mothers vs good fathers is very different.
Basically, fathers that haven't abandoned their child are immediately "such an amazing dad!" Mothers, however, have to do all of the regular parenting stuff (breastfeeding/pumping/formula; being up at night; diapers; and, you know, helping to raise a child), PLUS lose the babyweight immediately, have their makeup done at all times, keep the house fully organized, and have a killer career, and are still far more likely to be criticized and questioned.
It's not a flattering scenario for either parent. Now that I am aware of it, I try to be especially kind to all the moms I talk to.
If you read further up in the thread, you'll see stay at home mom's getting shit on in at least a dozen comments. Of course, the whining started out as a legitimate complaint, but it quickly degenerated into "fuck stay at home moms! They've got it soooo easy!"
So, yeah, your point has been proven in the comments.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:19:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"all men are pedos and rapists, and women are not."
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:15:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I don't think there's anything wrong with just letting the kids play together. The parent doesn't need to participate in every single thing their child does.
Agreed, and I am a firm believer of that with my kids too. However, it bugged me that they never looked up from the phone or or broke conversation to check up on their kid. Then if the kid decided they wanted to play with them, they'd do everything in their power to not have to get off that bench. Then when I showed up, I'd get the "check out this guy who thinks he can take care of a kid, mom must be busy today" looks and then when I was actually playing with my daughter and sometimes their kid, the looks would get even worse. I relished my time home with my daughter, it generally never felt like a chore. (There's always those days that it does, no way around that)
Can we also add "better get a gun" or "youre in trouble"
People say that shit to my husband constantly since we had a girl.
Our daughter is blonde with blue eyes and if one more weird stranger comes up to us and makes comment on this like it will make her especially prone to some assholes that deserve to die at my husbands hand, ill kill them instead.
No one ever comes up to me and suggests I'll need to be a possessive psychotic mother in law to my sons spouse.
My husband is 6'7 and our son is older, on track to be super big too and is already violently possessive of his little sister. The chances are that boys will already be frightened, my husband doesnt need to kill or threaten to kill anyone.
Heres an idea, how about my husband just ensures my daughter is a happy, confident girl who feels safe and capable when she begins dating and make sure she is in the best place psychologically to date men who will treat her well and that she doesnt have any "daddy issues".. and other than that we, as parents, stay the hell out of our kids sex lives. I certainly dont want to discuss my daughters sex life while shes only 6 mo old.
I hear ya. I'm white and my wife is Indian, so my kids have a bit of "exoticness" to them. We refer to them as either Perma-tan or Basian (beige and asian) My daughter is 5 and has always been more friendly with boys than girls. Not sure if it's because she spent the better part of her first 2 years with me or what, but boys seem to gravitate to her. I jokingly say I'm in trouble when she gets older, and I mean it somewhat, but I also know that we are raising her right and that she'll be able to make good choices on her own when the time comes. I don't think I'd ever go so far as to try and intimidate a potential boyfriend, but I sure as hell am going to make it blatantly obvious how much she means to me and my wife.
Just make sure he knows how to treat a girl with respect and all should be fine, just like I'm hoping I raise my daughter with enough self respect to stay away from guys that don't respect her.
Senuf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:28:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess both girls and boys should treat each other with respect. I've been taught it's a two-way road, and I teach my kids (daughter and son) the same.
WitBeer ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:00:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had another kid call me dad at the park, just because I played with him at the same time as my kids. The mom was pissed at first, then you could just see the sadness appear. It must've been a moment of clarity for her.
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 22:32:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh geez I'm sure those kids got plenty of attention. I was a stay at home mom and took my kid to the park so he could get some playtime in with other kids and I could get some much needed me time. I knew some people must have judged me for setting him loose at the park and occasionally watching him from over my book, but he needed interaction with someone who wasn't me.
But of course if a grown up was out there playing, everyone gravitated to them, especially kids like my son, who wanted to feel like big kids by playing with the grown ups. I hope you don't think all of the kids were attention starved; it was quite the opposite, in my son's case, anyway. Now I'm kinda curious about you - whenever did you find time for yourself?
Nap time. I was with my daughter from birth to 15 months, so it also wasn't the same as having an older (relatively) boy either. I needed to stay near her, or risk her just walking herself right off the top of the play ground. Also, I failed to mention that I had witnessed many of the kids wanting their parent/guardian to come play with them, only to be disappointingly turned away. I by no means thought that they were all being neglected or whatever, as that would be pretty hypocritical of me not knowing the full situation, but was merely an observation, and more often than not, with the same kids/parents. I'm back working in an office full time now, and I still miss those days. Hardest but most rewarding job ever.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:44:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nap time
Lucky you! No seriously. I forgot that other kids nap. My kid stopped napping when I dayweaned at around 18 months. He went to bed a little earlier, but there was no mid-day break for me. D:
Also, I failed to mention that I had witnessed many of the kids wanting their parent/guardian to come play with them, only to be disappointingly turned away.
I've definitely turned my kid away - we were there for him to play with other kids, not me, but that doesn't mean he didn't try to get me to play too. I hope it didn't look to heartbreaking to observers lol. Though parents playing with their kids always makes me remember this thing that happened to me once - I arranged a playdate for me and an acquaintance. Our sons were going to play and she and I were (I thought) going to chat. Well, every single time her son said, "Mommy, come play with me", she went and played with him. So I sat twiddling my thumbs, watching this grown woman go down the playground slides. I never scheduled another playdate with her. Why should I schedule a specific time to meet someone at the playground just so I can sit around and look at my phone - I could do that at any time! No need to schedule a particular time for it! Is it wrong that I felt so miffed? I always thought she should have just said, "No, Billy, I'm talking to Tommy's mom right now. You go run and play with Tommy."
I by no means thought that they were all being neglected or whatever, as that would be pretty hypocritical of me not knowing the full situation
And I don't judge other parents who play with their kids (though I judge the hell out of that one mom). I just assume that they all work and never get to spend time with them otherwise, or that they genuinely enjoy it, or that their kids get plenty of playtime with other kids.
Hardest job though? I don't know, maybe I'm doing it wrong, but I feel like reports of its difficulty are greatly exaggerated. Pretty cushy gig.
Man it seems like we see differently about a lot of stuff, but you still sound cool. You obviously love your kids and enjoy spending time with them and that's pretty cool. If we were at the park I definitely wouldn't give you the stink eye or make snide comments about being Mr. Mom (not that I do that anyway). I'd glance at you from over my book and think "Looks like they're having a good time!" :D
I say "toughest" job in that there's really no training before you get thrown into it. Sure you can read books, but even that's a minefield as pretty much every parenting book contradicts all the other parenting books. The loneliness got to me after a while too. My wife was in her pediatric residency and always super busy, and we hadn't been in the are for very long and the only people we knew, were other residents. Was especially bad when she had to work a full month of 3rd shift hours. Because of all of this, it was also the toughest time in our marriage to this point. We made it through just fine, and we are stronger because of it, but anyone that tells you that having a baby will save your marriage, is just down right delusional. Back to the hardest job thing, for my current job (Mechanical Engineer) I actually got schooling for it and was at least somewhat prepared for it. However, nothing is cooler, or more rewarding, than seeing your child accomplish something for the first time, and that makes it all worth it, hence the most rewarding.
Edit: Also, thanks for the compliments and thanks for not giving "my kind" the stink eye :D
eketros ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why should I schedule a specific time to meet someone at the playground just so I can sit around and look at my phone - I could do that at any time! No need to schedule a particular time for it! Is it wrong that I felt so miffed? I always thought she should have just said, "No, Billy, I'm talking to Tommy's mom right now. You go run and play with Tommy."
I think that I have probably offended people in the past by doing something similar to this. I don't know what exactly was going on with that mom & kid, so don't know what their situation really was. But I know that I have done things that have strained friendships because I was putting my kids above my friend. The thing is that my friends couldn't see the entire context. They don't know what is going on with my kids & my relationship with them, so really have no idea how much my kids need the time or what it means to them. As a parent you know your kid well and can read signals in their behaviour that other people can't see. So while I do think it is fine to tell a kid that you are talking to someone else right now, and can play with them later, I also have had times where that really wasn't the right thing to do with my child. I didn't really expect other people to understand that though, so when my kids were young I mostly socialized with other people that had similar parenting styles as mine.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:32:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeahhh it was my impression that there was some dynamic going on between them that was totally alien to me. Other things that I almost included, but seemed irrelevant after consideration was that this kid was super whiny and needy and my son actually didn't enjoy playing with him. E.g. My kid found an awesome (by 3 year old standards) stick and this kid whined and whined until his mom asked me if he could have it (????!!!!!) I said, "Uh sure..." and then I said to my son, "Listen Tommy, I think it would make Billy super happy if you gave him your stick - let's give it to him and I'll help you find an even better one" because WTF??? Obviously this kid was a bit spoiled and coddled and was apparently rarely told no, even for the most petty of requests. But hey I have no idea what the home life is like, how much attention he got at home, what developmental issues he may or may not have had, etc.
I don't care that she put her kid above me, but yeah like you said, we were obviously incompatible as far as play dates are concerned because I was bored as fuck and felt like the whole thing was totally pointless and not what I had in mind at all. The current group I hang out with is on the same wavelength that I am - kid comes over saying "play with me", and they get an automatic "nope, you're here to play with [playdate friend's name], now run along." And we have a nice chat and unwind. Hope the other mom found some compatible companions as well.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:53:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hardest job though? I don't know, maybe I'm doing it wrong, but I feel like reports of its difficulty are greatly exaggerated. Pretty cushy gig.
I'm with you on this. I was starting to think I'm the only one who doesn't even think of being a mom as a "job". And going to the park for us was definitely a time for me to just chill while my son went and played with other kids. We always had plenty of play time together, so I was always more concerned about him getting social time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, same here! And being a stay at home mom was especially great because you can make your own schedule, you don't have to worry about taking time off for your kid's illnesses, and you have plenty of time to get home stuff like making dinner, doing laundry, etc done and don't have to squeeze it into your "free time." Actually, I had to do that when I worked before I had a kid. My one day off was usually Monday, so that was my weekly laundry day, errand running day, and grocery shopping day. Some day off. Now I can do whatever I want whenever I need to do it. And then off to the park to relax. Heaven. Yeah the actual parenting can be tricky, but you'd have to do that anyway, whether you're working or not. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's a sweet deal.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can do whatever I want whenever I need to do it.
The best part!
Saarlak ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:15:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother-in-law always acts astound when I care for my son alone (when my wife is out doing shit or out with friends).
"He cooked dinner, fed him, AND gave him a bath before doing bed time? Wow! Did you tell him how to do that?"
Bitch, please. Just because I have testicles doesn't mean I'm an inept parent. And just because your daughter has a uterus doesn't mean she has to "teach" me how to do fuck all.
Just remember, older generation women think that way because a lot of husbands and fathers were douches for centuries. Shit gets passed down like that, and soon enough there's a prejudice so deep in their brains they can't comprehend any other way.
Saarlak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She is also a control freak and, as much as I hate to say it, she has completely broken her husband. He is an awesome guy but she has convinced him he can't do anything without her and that has colored her view of men. At the end of the day my kiddo is happy so I'm happy.
That society comment is on point, as a mid twenties dude I am always so aware of eye contact/ physical contact with other people's kids. It makes it really awkward when they are climbing on you asking to play and just like ๐ please stop your parents are staring at me. Maybe I'm too worried about what other people are thinking lol
I still remember seeing a billboard many years ago that was just a close up of a grown man's hand holding a little kid's hand. The caption was something along the lines of "if it looks wrong, it probably is" or some crap like that, implying that any guy holding a kids hand must mean he's up to no good. I don't remember what group put it up, but I was less than pleased with it, and this was before I even had a kid.
salakius ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:25:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This sucks. Now I'm gonna perpetuate the stereotype of Swedish people being smug assholes who think they got everything right. But reading this after a morning walk where I saw two belt bucket, viking t-shirt, hard labour men on parernal leave with their kids in strollers walking side by side while no one bats an eyelid, I'm really lucky to live in Sweden.
Pottski ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:15:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All men are either pedophiles or absent fathers according to the playground set. Pretty infuriating.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel better, my girlfriend is a single mother and she's gotten dirty looks for playing with the kids. Some of that is just lazy people being mad because other people aren't as lazy as they are.
Same thing happened with me. Always was assumed to be a creep because I was alone with kids at the park... yeah my kids.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When my kids were littler, I would chase them at the mall playground. It was GREAT fun.
All the uptight Mommies, Daddies, Nannies and Grannies just sitting on the bench with their noses stuck updating their Facebooks.
I would chase my kids and their kids. I was the tree that they climbed. I was the log that they would jump over. I was the BASE when they played tag. And when we were done playing, we would high five the other kids as we left.
Taking my 16mo daughter to the grocery store every week (amazing! I cook too!) is presumed to be "giving mom a break" by all the older ladies who seem to be mighty impressed that a dad is shopping with his little girl. Thank you but I don't need your backhanded compliments, just being a parent here.
I actually love taking my kids to the grocery store. My daughter (5) and I play "frozen food catch" with the frozen vegetables and my son (almost 2) turns every item possible into a musical instrument and says hello to everybody that passes us. I love seeing my kids make others smile, makes me a proud papa.
Interesting read. I've always held a desire for a work/life balance, even before kids. Having a kid only magnified that desire. I'm not going to put in long hours at work week in and week out and miss out on time with my kids. If others at work look down on me for that, oh well, not my problem. I'm happy where I am in my career. As an engineer people generally want you to move up into management eventually, I have 0 desire to do that. I went to school to be an engineer, as soon as I'm management, I'm no longer doing engineering. Sure I could probably make a little more money, but we live pretty comfortably and that extra money is not equal to the extra time I get with my kids.
Also, are you from or in the Boston area, or just happen to be reading boston.com?
From Boston area, and I actually didn't even read the article. The Boston.com site has become mostly a tabloid and I thought that the headline was pretty much the view of the people we are complaining about. Fitting.
Myself, I own a small construction co and while it's a lot of work, I am able to keep it more or less confined to an 8-9 hr workday M-F so I have time for life, which now includes much more family stuff that it used to, and I'm happy for that. Actually careful what I wish for, wife just told me the test for #2 is positive two days ago. If that's true and everything goes well, knock on wood, I've got another eight and a half months to finish my addition before we run out of rooms in my house.
I need to get off Reddit and go do some subfloor!
Edit, this is sort of anonymous, but my handle is present across many forums so if anyone who knows me reads this, don't tell my wife I spilled the beans. We aren't telling anyone until week 12, assuming everything progresses until that point!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has been a sty at home dad for 26 years now (large gap in sibling age) and he had an article written about it in the local newspaper in Memphis, TN back in the 90s because it was so backwards to their southern lifestyle. In my yearbooks he's the only guy in the PTA pictures and people aaaaalways make jokes about him becoming "good friends" with the wives in the neighborhood. Fuck off with all that.
shera999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like you really cherished the time you had being a stay at home dad and that is awesome. I've been a stay at home mom since my son was born 2 years ago and love every minute of it (well, almost every minute). But if I take him to the park or the gym it is pretty much the only time that I get adult contact. My husband is gone from 6am to 7pm Mon-Fri and I need some adult interaction for my own sanity. My son gets my 100% undivided attention 23 hours a day and I hope people don't judge me because I need adult interaction for a little while a few times a week.
Trust me, there's a difference between letting him play so you can get a breather/adult time (see my post a little further up) and completely ignoring the kid for an hour. The moms that I was talking about were the 2nd type who then would judge and give me nasty looks if I played with their kid. There's a better than average chance that if I just showed up with my own kid/s that I'm probably not a creeper, then enjoy the fact that you're still getting some self time and your son is still playing and enjoying himself.
bm_iswmc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So was my dad! For me at least (female). So my parents made it a point that their friends were the people who would allow their child to come over to my house to play with me (because I guess every parent thought my dad was a child predator, but I definitely get that vibe more from other friends' parents).
I play on my phone or talk to parents and ignore my child when we go to the play area. I brought him there to specifically learn interactions between peers.
I mean. I'm not going to coddle him every time he looks my direction. He's gatta figure this shit out y'know. Learn how to say 'yes' 'no' or when to get adult intervention.
If he specifically interacts with me or asks for me, I'll pay attention to him obviously. Same thing goes for crying. Other than that? Get out there and go get the only social interact you have outside of Mom and Dad.
Shit like this makes me genuinely afraid to have kids. It's not the fear of responsibility or the burden of fatherhood, it's being labeled a pedophile because I play with my child.
My husband took our son out to meet a buddy at Starbucks when baby was maybe 4-5 months old? The other guys was astounded that I "let" my husband take the baby out alone.
The weird thing is, when I take two kids somewhere, I get lots of comments about having my hands full, or Mr. Mom etc. If I take all three out somewhere, nothing! It's like some kind of force field.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely understand and agree actually. I've got no problem with independent play, and encourage my kids to do so. I think my initial comment came across wrong, and I think it has to do with a different approach to park time. When I go out to the park, it's for me to play with my kids in a new setting. I appreciate the need for "me time", I just find it at other times. Also, as I've said elsewhere, there's a subtle but significant difference between trying to get a few moments to yourself while your kid plays and doing everything in your power to ignore your kid but then get annoyed, upset or freaked out if I happen to entertain your child while playing with my own. I really didn't mean to imply any parent not paying attention to their child at all times was sub par or lazy.
Oh god, the "so impressed." I fucking hate it. My brother's first wife was a borderline personality disorder meth head. When she took off he got sole custody of their daughter. I remember some friend of my mom's telling me how impressed she was with my brother and how he was keeping his daughter. I straight up asked her, "what the hell else would he do?" She had no answer.
My dad was a single parent for about 5 years after he divorced his first wife and got primary custody of me. Now I'm wondering what sort of comments he got when he took little 3-yr-old me to the park or the pool. :S
Yeah, I've tried to clarify this a few times in response to other similar comments. I assure you that I am not a hover parent. Both my kids get plenty of independent play time. My wife and I have also been firm believers in not rushing to our kids as soon as they fall or bump into something. Saves a lot of drama down the road, as they now only cry/get upset if they truly are hurt. So again, my original comment wasn't to say that parents should be playing with their kids every waking hour, but when you're not playing with them and you're at the park, don't give another parent dirty looks because they are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Curious as to how you lucked out and got to be a stay at home dad
So we had been living in Boston while my wife finished up getting her MD and MBA and I was working north of the city. Then she got into residency at Dartmouth, which is up in the middle of no where NH. Rather than quite my job, I worked it out that I'd work from home 3 days a week, but I'd also go down one day, spend the night, then work the next day as well, then drive home. This went on just fine for a few months. Then they started getting weird at work and demanding that I spend more time in the office. I could see the writing on the wall, they were going to lay me off, but wanted to see if they could get me to quite first. I stuck it out for a little while longer, and sure enough, got laid off. Now as an engineer living in northern NH, there's not a lot of job opportunities. I was laid off in April, diligently looked for a job, went on many interviews, but nothing stuck. Then that July we found out we were going to have a baby. Kept looking for a job to no avail, unless I wanted to commute 2+ hours each way, which was a no go with a kid on the way. Come October we decided we weren't going to stay in that area long term, and we really wanted one of us to be able to stay home with the baby if possible. Since she was trying to finish residency, it only made sense for me to be the one to stay home, so the job search was put on hold. Then in April our daughter was born and so began my 15 months of being a Stay At Home Dad. It worked out great for my wife too, because she was confident that the baby was in good hands, and I'd send pictures to her all day. When our son was born 3 years later, I did not have the same opportunity to stay home with him, so we ended up getting a nanny who was great with him and she sent us constant picture updates throughout the day. Now they are both in daycare and my daughter starts Kindergarten next week, time flies man...
You only got nasty looks? I'm a fat, bearded, tattooed, motorbike riding fly-in-fly-out miner. So when it's my week off and I take the kids to the park... Obviously I'm a paedophile and police get called. The mums ALWAYS herd their kids away from me the second I get there while they wait for the police to arrive.
And you know what? I'm fine with it. If those slags are gonna be judgemental bitches, well fuck them. I wouldn't want my kids playing with the spawn of those whores anyway.
I have not experienced that, as I'm your "average looking" mid 30s white guy. Another I just remembered though, people commenting how nicely mommy dressed and did her hair. I did that my self thank you very much. You've never seen a part so straight and pigtails so even until you've had an engineer do them.
Meanwhile I was playing with my daughter and inevitably ended playing with the other kids too, as they craved some attention. Then I'd get nasty looks from the moms when they noticed me playing with all the kids.
Oh man, this happens to me every time there are moms at the park with their kids. They look at me like I'm insane because I'm running around with my kid. Yes, I know I'm too big to be climbing on the equipment but two years ago, I was physically incapable of doing shit like this. I want to enjoy my son's childhood and have him remember me as a fun dad. And I'm going to do the same damn thing when my daughter is old enough to play at the park. I don't give a damn if people think I'm creepy when I let their kids join in. I'm practically a mountain of a man and kids want to climb on me!
Parent's who don't pay attention to their kids at the park suck. My wife and I took our son to our local park one day and there were a few others there. This one lady had three kids, ranging from a young toddler (maybe 2?) up to maybe 7 or so. She was focused on her phone as the toddler climbed up this ladder-like thing to the very top. He got scared and his older brother called for his mom. That's when she noticed and freaked out. She climbed halfway up and then told the oldest to go up and get him. My wife ended up going up the ramp on the other side to the top and got him to safety. A few minutes later the lady gave a halfass thanks to my wife and then promptly went back to her phone.
Good on you bro, and society does suck when it comes to this. You just do your thing and tell those natty bitches that maybe they should get off their phones and asses and play with their kids
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:23:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not do both? My daughter and I have played with Legos for as long I can remember. My wife and I also mentor a high school robotics team and my daughter has been super involved and interested since she had any idea as to what was going on. She's also helped me assemble many things around the house but helps me cook dinner too. As long as she's interested and engaged, I'm up for it.
Edit: just to add, we also watch baseball daily right now and football whenever it's on and she's now going to a soccer class/camp thing. I like to think she's pretty well balanced.
Cleave400 ยท 1020 points ยท Posted at 22:01:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a divorced Dad who takes care of his kid pretty much solo due Mom being otherwise occupied most of the time - this times 100.
At the park, at the school, at the doctor's office, at the children's museum, at the store buying clothes, at the trampoline place for Bobby's birthday, riding our bikes, on and on and on.
Personally, I blame mass media and how it portrays men. Sit-coms especially.
I'm a woman, my mom left the family when I was in my teens, and my dad has become my hero and the parent and friend I needed to navigate the world post-college. Every time I see anti-dad stereotypes I go off the rails. My dad saved my life while my mom was too busy drinking. Why is it that all my friends whose dads are assholes get the "yeah fuck him! Deadbeat dads..." but the fact that I have no relationship with my mom warrants a "she's your MOM, every girl needs her mom! You should try and fix things." No. Seriously no.
Why is it that all my friends whose dads are assholes get the "yeah fuck him! Deadbeat dads..." but the fact that I have no relationship with my mom warrants a "she's your MOM, every girl needs her mom! You should try and fix things." No. Seriously no.
Honestly I've never heard a perspective like yours but it makes sense, thank you for sharing it.
gokuudo ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:11:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the realest comment. You can literally say "Fuck my dad," in public and people wont blink, but the moment you say "Fuck my mom," everyone jumps to the defense of a woman they know nothing about.
Lhtfoot ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:37:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are 100% correct... I'm currently in a 2-year long custody-battle for my daughter and the bias I have experienced is severely unsettling.
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 04:53:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am totally sorry that you are going through that. Courts are extremely biased towards women when it comes to custody. Statistically, there's a really good reason for that. You have my deepest sympathy. But, for the love of god, please do not turn into a men's rights activist over this. It's not worth it.
Lhtfoot ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 05:11:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate your initial sentiment. However, asking a man whose rights are being trampled to not stand up for those rights, is not appreciated.
Imagine if someone had told battered-woman, or a woman who could not vote, "For the love of God, please don't turn into a women's right's activist."
I know you meant well. However, this just shows how much of a disconnect is actually present in our society, in regards to equal-rights and sexual-discrimination. It is so prevalent, that I don't expect you to understand how your comment was offensive to me.
I believe they were referring specifically to r/mensrights, where people take it way too far, and its actually chauvinism. Just in case you didn't know.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 05:31:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please by all means stand up for your rights. You should. I'll help you even. I have worked to help men in these situations. Over the years, I have had like half a dozen buddies who have been through the wringer because the mother of their children was basically unfit in some way. It's horrible. And there's not a ton out there for men who do not already possess significant resources.
And, yes; it's totally sexist.
But, that said, I have yet to find ANY Men's Right's organization that actually helped with this type of situation. I never seen one help with court costs, child care, getting food stamps, getting education, getting a safe clean place to stay, getting employment, or significantly improving the outcome of any particular case. I have never seen a single one work in any real capacity to change the sexist assumption that women are better care takers. I never seen a single one actually attempt to change the crappy laws that favor an unfit parent on the basis of gender. Not seen a one that's offered free legal help, therapy, or helped with transportation costs. NOTHING.
What I do see is them radicalizing vulnerable men who are in shitty situations and basically stoking their anger and validating every sexist/misogynistic impulse a stressed out person, in such a situation, might understandably have.
So, look it, I apologize for offending you. Not my intention. And, if you can show me an org that's doing real work for real families, I will revise my opinion accordingly. But, until then, my opinion is going to be that these groups are exploitative and have an agenda that's got nothing to do with getting anyone's family real help.
Wouldn't the lack of programs be a sufficient reason to get involved?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is. Which is why I do that. Interestingly, it's organizations that started out primarily to help low income women that actually seem to give these men the most useful aid. Strangely men's rights organizations do not seem to give actual material aid to actual men and their families. I invite anyone to show me that I am mistaken.
gokuudo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:52 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not that i know a lot on the subject of MRA aid material, but in their defense, i don't see feminist organizations bending over backwards to help men, and they receive millions each year from the government. Would you advise someone not to be a feminist?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:16 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TLDR: I think men are people too and therefore advise against aligning with misandrist groups. MRA groups don't seem to materially help men and promote misogyny. There are many gender based groups that get federal funds. Feminist organizations do help men (now more than ever) but it's not their focus.
Would you advise someone not to be a feminist?
YES. If it involves defecto hating men or adopting a frame where in half the population is basically inferior and/or abusive as a biological default.
And, ya know what? There are Radical Feminists who are down with that. I am wholly vocally opposed to that stuff too. Generally speaking, I think we are all human beings with value and therefore worthy of basic dignity and respect. I am opposed to anything that involves denying people their basic humanity on the basis of their gender.
i don't see feminist organizations bending over backwards to help men
It depends on what you mean. There are couple of things, many feminist organizations have historically worked to help men. But, specifically helping men has never been their focus. Given everything, I don't think it's reasonable to expect that they would "bend over backwards". But, the focus, for many groups, is also changing. Because the dialog regarding Humanism as it involves Feminism is changing.
There are real service gaps, with US government institutions, regarding disenfranchised men and their families. And, these gaps have dire consequences for men in need. And, how feminists groups approach this is changing. For example, there are at least three legal aid places, in Dallas, that were originally dedicated to poor single mothers that now work with all single parents.
Honestly, the best you can say for MRA groups is that some of them initially encourage a form of personal self improvement, personal esteem development, and self valuation. That type of frame is frankly something that could be beneficial to all humans. That's just great until they tack on the "All women are mindless, money grubbing, skanks" under the guise of evolutionary biology. Also, some the high/low value rhetoric is quite toxic. Afterall, we all can't be our ubermench selves.
MRA groups, to my knowledge, don't materially help men in need, they don't lobby for things that help and effect all men, at best they provide a support system. (Which I think is awesome until you include the lady hate)
At the end of the day, the people fighting some key MRA issues (like male circumcision) are largely feminists and people who embrace feminist ideas. To my knowledge, there's no MRA group working on stuff like that in a substantive way. The best I can say is there is that there are half a dozen very small groups that advocate shared parenting as a default. Surprisingly, many feminists organizations are actively for this too.
But, as I said a couple of times elsewhere, feel free to show me I am wrong. I'd love it if MRA groups were actively working on stuff like this. Seriously.
they receive millions each year from the government
So do many of organizations that are male only or who focus on primarily male issues. The Boy Scouts are a fine example of that. There are many others. Also, there are many MRA orgs that have tax exempt status. Just so you know. It's not as if there's a lack money being spent on organizations for men and boys. Where and how government money is spent could be up for some debate though.
Baschi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:28:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
men's rights activist
Huh? Did you just imply men's rights are not worth fighting for? Or am I out of the loop on some dumb meme?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No you are out of the loop. Honestly, how anyone gets misandry from my comments is beyond me. Here This is about as neutral as it gets.
FWIW I like men and support basic gender equality, when possible. This means that I am absolutely for men getting equal rights, under the law, and access to social aid resources too.
I get something similar. About how she's my mum, I should love her etc etc. She did bring me up but she was also a poisonous influence that emotionally neglected and crippled me, even abused. I want to see her as little as possible. And yet I get made to feel guilty for not having a good relationship with her. For not loving her. And the ironic thing is I would love her but she never showed any love or affection to me herself and doesn't acknowledge that either.
Emm03 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:29:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is still happily married to my dad and pretty involved in my life, but she just doesn't get me the same way my dad does, and she never has. I love her, but my dad is my best friend and the person who I can talk to about anything and anti-dad stuff drives me crazy too.
Ozocubu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking this. I get so sick of hearing that kind of bullshit. Yeah, sure, I should try to fix things with my mother. My sociopathic mother who would slap me in the bathtub unprovoked and moved away when I was 4. Maybe while I'm at it fix things with my drug-addict waste of flesh father, too, but I guess that one gets a pass because it's more socially acceptable to have an awful father than an awful mother. Gets really annoying to have to explain my life story to every one of these shits.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that "every girl needs her mom" shit. Every girl needs a strong role model, but that role model doesn't have to be female and doesn't have to be a mom.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have seen this before, with several of my friends. Go with that feeling of "NOPE" - from what I have seen you will honestly wind up regretting it less than if you try and work it out.
NehEma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:19:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just wanted to say, I had to double take, did I write this comment? I did not but same stuff happened to me. I still feel guilty cause she's my mom though.
For the majority of my life I got along better with my mom than my dad, but following my parents divorce and about a year before I started getting along way better with my dad because was always genuine. He was who he was and never acted like he was anything but, meanwhile my mom acted like a teenager but got mad when it was implied she was anything but an adult. I was sixteen when they got divorced (they actually work me up having their first argument about divorce the night after my birthday), but my mom told my dad I was staying with her. So I only saw him on Saturdays for a while, and it hurt a lot. Especially because I had to balance me learning to drive when I was with him and him seeing my niece.
He was always a happy family man. The divorce probably hit him harder than anyone. But he was the best dad I could of asked for.
And im sure youve gotten the other annoying response sometimes as well..."oh, giving mom a break today?" Why do people still assume moms do all the childcaring
Merlord ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:49:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They need to make a Sitcom about a modern family. It'll never happen though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Merlord ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:44:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, a modern family. Like a sitcom with different kinds of families that reflect modern progressive culture. Maybe it would have a gay couple with kids, or an old white guy married to, I dunno, a hot Spanish lady or something. It'll never happen though, not in a million years.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Merlord ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:54:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not in a million years I say! Why oh why can't society learn to represent family in a modern fashion!?! Oh, woe is me, if only there were a sitcom about modern families, I would be content... But alas, I must continue to endure endless comedy TV series espousing traditional marriage structures and outdated stereotypes!
cookie75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wooosh.
kanuck84 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:00:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do yourself a favour and go watch season one of Up all Night. Hella funny sitcom, and went against a bunch of stereotypes: mom (Christina Applegate) goes back to work for her talk show host BFF (Maya Rudolph), while dad (Will Arnett) chooses to leave his law practice to stay at home to raise their newborn. The first season was hilarious and it was nice to see a show that bucked the lazy trend of most sitcoms.
I am not Homer fucking Simpson. I am not Ray Barone, I am not Tim Taylor. It was wrong for TV shows back in the 60s and 70s to show most women as dumb blondes who were only on screen to look pretty, and this shit is wrong now.
JMT97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not that big a difference. There's a progressive egalitarian movement that's existed for decades called humanism. Yet for some reason you stick with the one with a sexist name and keep insisting it's about egalitarianism.
Feminism does not now nor has it ever been about egalitarianism. It has always been about ending the oppression of women and gaining women the same opportunities men have. There are benefits to men as we get closer as a society to reaching those goals, but it is not and never had been about making things better for men.
When women couldn't vote or own property, feminism had a place. Now that women in the West have gained so much ground, we're long past the point where it's time to start eliminating female privilege or the playing will never be truly leveled.
And that's what aggravates me so much about this absurd idea that feminism is about helping men. Feminism does nothing to help men. No legislation, no protests, no funding, nothing. Just feel good thoughts and a stern insistence that feminism is about equality with nothing substantive to back it up.
Dismantling of gender roles is the benefit I was pointing out which you deliberately ignored.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:37:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dude, this existed well before mass media and sitcoms.
it's existed since basically the beginning of recorded history.
women have ALWAYS been the ones to "take care of the kids". it's unheard of in many cultures, even to this DAY, for men to be a part of their children's lives when they are younger. my ex-boyfriends parents had 7 children (a lot, considering they were born between 1986 - 2000) and his father has NEVER in his LIFE changed a single diaper. ever. and my ex-boyfriend doesn't think that this is strange.
strib666 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:47:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought the media was the most to blame for this, but I've been living in the suburbs for a few years and have been so surprised at how many suburban mom's I meet seem to just drool over the fact that I'm a dad that interacts with my children. I've heard friends of my wife lament that their husband won't even take the kids out of the house without the wife, none-the-less show up for dance recitals or sports games, or little kid birthday parties. It seems to be an epidemic.
I don't get it. Do these dads not realize that this is their child growing up and if they miss it they can't get a redo. Oh, and the kid will probably grow up to hate the dad for not doing anything with them.
The so-called parenting magazines as well. Damn near every article geared towards "parents", specifically mention Mom, Mommy or Mother. As a father of two, it's infuriating to see things like that.
I wouldn't say the media is to blame, necessarily. It's just decades, if not centuries, of traditional living. For a long time the dad was the breadwinner and the wife raised the kids/upkeeps the house. It's not even that old of a notion - I'd say the tail end of the 20th century is when it started to change dramatically. There are still a lot of people who follow it, but with each subsequent generation, it's falling to the wayside.
Even recently I've watched it change over time. I spent the last 11 years doing retail. When I first started, it was rather uncommon to see just a dad with a child or even wife and husband with child. Over the years, I started seeing more and more men involved with their children. Obviously anecdotal, but I thought it was an interesting observation.
That aside, I get where you're coming from. I'm not divorced, but I do take my son out alone sometimes and get all sorts of comments or weird looks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sit-coms and Madison Ave. The advertising world can kiss my Neanderthal ass.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, Chuck Lorre.
Fucking assholish sitcoms make me mad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sit-coms are the worst about that stuff. Watching all the shitty sit-cons through the 80's when they really got going with formulaic plots. As an adult I had to retrain myself how to feel and act. For years I assumed I was supposed to be like the people on those shows. It's created this social norm where people say things or act as characters on sit-coms. One of the worst for mother father husband wife roles was Home Improvement. I loved the show dearly but realized later that it totally generalized male and female gender roles. Some kids were raised by the television during this era and it's created a generation of people who think that's the only kind of humor there is.
i grew up with my dad who was a single parent after my mom left. she didnt request visitation or shared custody so i hardly ever saw her. my dad did everything, he was even my co-leader for my girl scout troop. he used to get so pissed off at girl scout events when ladies acted like he had no right to be there cause he was a man or surprised that he was so involved in my life. i hope when i have kids i can be as great as a parent as he was!
My oldest needed to have weekly blood tests done for the first few months of his life. I took the trip to the hospital every time.
I was at university at the time, so apart from lectures I structured my own time. Of course I would jump at the opportunity to give my wife some rest, if only for a short while. Every fucking time a nurse would either sound surprised or compliment me - it's my child, why is it surprising or worth a compliment that the dad is partaking in the responsibilities?
meinator ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:40:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I blame mass media and how it portrays men. Sit-coms especially.
you are right and this can be said about many any things. The media is out to divide us and stir the pot so it can produce click bait news.
The cable guy said that to me last week. I wanted to smack him in the face. Not only have I been perfectly comfortable being alone with my kids since they were born, but their mother died three months ago, so thanks for the unwelcome reminder of what we've lost. I'm all they've got. Fuck that guy.
I work on Saturdays and my husband is home with our daughter. When I tell people this I get the strangest looks. Someone even asked once if he minded looking after her for the day. I, all smiles, said "Oh he's very modern. He even changes nappies."
I have a feeling if someone referred to a working mom as "Mrs. Dad", they would be pretty offended.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:40:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pretty offended
Twitter would explode.
Senuf ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Twitter would explode.
Not to mention Tumblr.
majik655 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:30:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you. I get the same thing because I do shopping and cook dinner, dishes, etc etc. My wife gets home around 6-630 a tad late for us to start dinner. Why not just have dinner ready? I leave for work at 4am so I get off earlier. I also do not have the morning ritual that a parent goes through for themselves and for the child to get ready. You are right it's parenting and teamwork.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:41:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Nah. Unlike shitty parents like you who treat parenting like it's some shitty division of labour, I'm just doing my best to be as supportive and available to my kid as I can. Thanks, though!"
Eaders ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:06:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did it for a couple of months while between jobs. My wife went and did substitute teaching and I stayed home with the three year old and picked up the six year old school on our bikes.
Leaving aside the stress of unemployment, and that I wasn't as expert in the role as my wife with her years of experience, and yes I'm aware that it's a role that can have a big impact over time.... All that aside, those two months remain my favorite adult memory.
Nothing compares to being with your family in a meaningful way - I would rather be there at home for my kids than be out here in the world for my kids.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:28:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've come so close to a screaming, ranting, cursing rage at this kind of thing. No, you stupid bitch, I'm not doing the "Mr. Mom thing." I'm fucking taking care of my fucking kids, who live with me because I love them and the ex-Mrs. Mom is a useless fucking waste of space. I take care of these fucking kids day by day by day. So fuck you.
Eeeesh buckaroo! Maybe peeps just like Michael Keaton flicks? Decrease the heat of thine bosoms, fellow dad! Ain't worth getting upset over, when you've likely got some mess needs cleaning this moment anyway. Get yet ass off Reddit, go match some ridiculously small socks, read something a story, and then go enjoy a beer, (or whatever it is you use to quiet the demons), and relax, mi amigo! You get to do it all over again tomorrow... And the next day... And the next.... And the next after that...
... Until you die!
sadman81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try doing that while black. I get the Mr. Mom thing from black people, and white people give me the "if only more black me were like you..." uuuggghhh... just leave me and my son alone, dick head.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont know i like the word Mr. Mom. It gives me a title outside of stay at home dad.
Thanks. I'm going to be a Dad soon so I'm trying to get used to how people (not my wife, obviously) are already minimizing me and my future role. Any advice on what to say to these people instead of my usual standby: "Eat shit and die!"
Tell them that you are going to be an active parent. They'll probably smile and nod. Then show them. Ultimately it really doesn't matter what they think...the kid is what's important. Congratulations, by the way!
VAPossum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you feel somewhat guilty about letting the mother do the lion's share of earning? Is there not some nagging voice of instinct telling you it's your job to provide for your family? The traditional role of male provider isn't as outdated as you'd like to imagine.
Mr. Mom as some backhanded way of complimenting me
Honestly now I want some kind of pro-wrestler called Mr. Mom.
"YEAH! You think taking care of your child is emasculating? Well say hello to the power of this Elbow drop! Forming a bond with your child is the most powerful thing in this world, son!"
I've been getting really frustrated with my daycare recently. My husband does drop off and he should have been doing some things he wasn't like marking our youngest's last meal time and what time she woke up. Or writing down our oldest's food items for lunch. THEY NEVER TOLD HIM THE PROCESS. Ever. Not even the first day. Not either set of teachers. When I dropped them off one morning and noticed the weekly sheet for this information was blank, I apologized to both classroom teachers. BOTH said, oh the dads never do it, so we don't mind.
No, idiots, he isn't doing it because you never told him the expectation so he can't meet it. He isn't dumb or incapable. He may be forgetful but he is a totally competent parent. Makes me angry.
I hate this! I am a stay at home mom and people can be very judgmental. I imagine it is much worse for you and that's a damn shame. My husband and I switch off nights. Our kids are 2.5 and 13 months. The 13 month old is teething and still wakes up some nights. Also, we let the other get an extra little bit of sleep in the morning. It makes it so we are both getting some rest.
So many friends can't believe this because their husbands do nothing. My husband takes the kids out without me sometimes and I hate when people call it babysitting. No. It isn't babysitting. They are his kids too! I expect him to take and equal share when he is home. It will.never be 50/50 since I am home with them, and it doesn't have to be. When he is home I do expect him to be a good coparent, help with the kids, etc. I can't imagine having kids with someone who didn't want to be an active participatant in his kids' lives. We also discussed this before having kids.
Didn't even go to the park for me. I'd have stayed home, but the rugrats needed to get out of the house play. Doing things that any parent should do doesn't make me an exceptional Dad, makes me a parent that puts my kids first like any parent should. I hear about too many guys that put everything off on the wife because she's the wife, that's just wrong.
I imagine you slowly cornering the person between a bathroom wall and those two trashcans as you stare them down and inch ever closer into their comfort zone. You're probably taller than them too.
When I'm out with the little one I get the, "giving mom a break today?"
No actually I'm a single dad of 3.
Ceejae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, so is this person just trying to be friendly?
Chazbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I feel yah. Used to think it was cute being called Mr. Mom or a Mother-Father, but now it feels a bit short sited and insulting...
Level21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell you what though.... nothing gets thous single moms wet like dropping off and picking up that little one everyday. I swear on it, having a child gets women crazier than any dog could.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god I hate this. When my kids were little if I went out without them, someone would inevitably ask if my husband was babysitting for me. Well, no. It's not babysitting if they are your own kids. My mother in law was the worst with this.
nepharis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're doing the Mr. Mom thing today?"
People... actually say that? Like, out loud? And you aren't allowed to shoot them afterwards?
Mardred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is beutiful and badass at the same time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of love you for this. I mean, it's a classic 'patriarchy hurts everyone' situation. But as an involuntary SAHM who wants to punch herself in the face every time someone asks if I'm loving it, I just love that you are content and happy with your dad time.
Fucking THANK YOU. Jesus Christ I'm sick of this shit. I'm also sick of being looked at like a fucking pedophile because I end up playing with someone else's kid. Listen fuckwhore, get off of the fucking bench and off of your phone and actually PLAY with your kid at the park instead of just dragging them here and expecting them to play with themselves, and then MAYBE they won't glue themselves to my ass because they see me and my kid having fun playing Ninja Turtles and want to have fun playing it too. I don't mind them joining in and having fun, but keep your shitty fucking looks to yourself. Why not come over and actually, I don't fucking know, have a conversation with me, tell me your name, I'll tell you mine, we can trade stories about shitty diapers and the cost of daycare. No? Oh fucking fine then, go ahead and sit your fat ass on that bench and just keep tapping away at your fucking phone. Yeah, Candy Crush is that fucking important. God damn it.
The sad thing is, my husband refers to himself being home with our son as "babysitting." I really hate it. :(
Lutya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a work trip when my son was 11 months old. Everyone kept offering to watch my son for me or ask who was going to watch him while I was away. Umm... his DAD is going to watch him. Did you forget he exists or something?!?!
JayLime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought your whole post was what you hated. Like its some copy pasta that angers you or something
I'm not saying you're wrong but at the same time women are stereotyped in this exact same way. As a woman I'm expected to work 40 hours a week, clean the house, cook dinner, take care of everything involving kids. Then if I'm a stay at home mom I'm judged by working mothers and other stay at home moms because I don't make cutesy fucking crafts or contribute to the house financially. If I work I'm also judged for choosing a career and not sitting at home for 18 years to raise my kids. It's never ending.
As a nurse I was judged for never wanting to be a labor and delivery nurse. Heaven forbid I don't want to be stuck in vag all day. I'd be much happier on traumas and stemis thank you very much.
The point is women are very judgmental, society stereotypes, and nobody gives a fuck. To get upset about it is pointless.
Holyshit, I was talking to a girl the other day (both of us have kids), and when I was telling her how much time I spent with my kids, and how much their mother isn't too involved, she says "Oh so she's like the dad and you're the mom". I couldn't help but to think WHAT THE FUCK...
I'm not their fucking mom. I'm their dad. I have been for their whole life. I don't do mom shit with them, I don't even know what that means. I do dad things, and they probably shouldn't even be considered dad things, they're just parent things. I love my kids more than anything good in this world, and quite frankly, I don't even like kids, but I like my kids. They're hilarious, and they're mine. I just want them to have a great life, with a great childhood. My dad wasn't around much when I was a kid, so I've always sworn to be the greatest father in the world. Mom things, wtf...I got annoyed as fuck when she said that. I wasn't even sure if I was a legitimate reason to be, I'm glad I read your comment to find I'm not the only one who has felt this way.
You're a good dad. Who cares what those kinds of people think?
You're doing a great job and thats good on you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assisted watching our 3 boys at my sister in laws wedding the other week.
Basically, just hung out with my sons and kept them out of my wife's hair as she helped prep the site for the event.
I have not received SO many compliments on "how great a dad" I was in just those few days before. Literally about 2 dozen women just AMAZED that I watched my boys and how wonderful I was for doing it. I asked my wife afterwards if she felt weird about the compliments and she agreed, after all no one complimented her for doing the same exact thing each and every day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My life is dope and I do dad shit."
gitykinz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go:
"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reactions like this are why adults find it difficult to just make friends. If another guy says that to you at the park he's probably just making small talk. He's probably a nice guy and understands the complex relationship of being a man and a parent. You can chill out for a second and acknowledge that before you need to make some big tirade.
My dad was the stay at home parent when I was younger and he got that all the time. I always wanted to find one of those things you hang from the rear view mirror that said "Dad's Taxi" because he always drove is kids around. Never could find one that didn't say "Mom's Taxi" though.
wrsrule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
None. I make money by going to work. I work extremely hard and efficiently so I can get home in time to take him to the park. Sometimes I work from home. As for how much I make from my job, it's not enough.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Classic Mr. Mom
Spambop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're doing the Mr. Mom thing today?
Jesus. I know Americans are supposed to be comfortable with striking up conversations with strangers, but are they usually this nosey?
When my kids were very young, I sat on a couple of boards that met at night. All the ladies would ask if my husband was babysitting and I always just said, no he just parenting tonight.
[deleted] ยท 450 points ยท Posted at 15:58:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a bitch, I just don't sugarcoat things."
Yeah, no. If people are calling you a bitch often enough that you feel the need to tell everybody you meet that you aren't one, then you probably are one.
"You don't have a filter? Is that a disability? Would you like us to tell you when you're being a tactless shit or wait for you to leave the room?"
I know someone who genuinely doesn't seem to have a filter. It's massively damaging to her personally and professionally, but that same blindness that stops her from self-censoring also makes her miss the fact that she doesn't get opportunities other do.
I also know this person, except he doesn't think he should have to use whatever filter he has (if he does, in fact, have one), because that would make him somehow not-genuine, and he thinks people should like him for who he is. And while that's not wrong, he just seems to think that if he doesn't say whatever he's thinking, regardless of context or appropriateness, he's being "fake" just to please people who apparently don't really truly like him. We've tried to have a talk with him about it but he takes it so fucking personally that it really isn't worth it. So we just don't hang out with him anymore.
My brain always translates that phrase and all like it into 'I am incapable of stifling my own self-satisfaction long enough to consider the feelings of others' and I immediately stop listening to whatever else it is they have to say.
Honesty without compassion is just subtle hostility.
plus4dbu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:33:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maturity is evident when one can be both direct and tactful
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing wrong with being blunt, as long as you realize that some people will take things the wrong way sometimes. But, I mean, if you're at least warning them before hand that you're blunt, it doesn't sound that bad. What really annoys me is the person who's constantly giving you advice that you didn't ask for, especially when it's insulting advice, and then acting like you're too sensitive for getting offended.
mrhelton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me, "yeah, no" definitely belongs on this list.
mdflmn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That goes with the opposite also. Telling me youre a bitch or asshole, only proves to me your insecurity that your trying to hide behind utter bullshit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In other words the bitch is sugarcoating she's not a bitch.
"Love" is a complicated thing. You can "love" somebody and not realize you're messing them up. I think some people don't understand that love often involves putting other people before yourself.
ha11ey ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 20:58:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They also might just be stupid. They very well might think they are doing what is best for their kid. They sincerely love their kid, and that's why the kid had to be chained up like a dog outside.... how else will he learn manners?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:19:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, meth.
ZombyTed ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:39:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Normal love does not involve keeping children in a kennel.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:31:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Normal love does not involve keeping children in a kennel.
The only normal one is Jack-Jack, and he's not even toilet trained.
Also, meth.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:45:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This is so true. Feelings of affection and attachment aren't the only part of love that matter. Love is an action as well as an emotion. To love requires self sacrifice.
So I'm on the psych ward again, it's been about 2 months and I get to know this schizophrenic. She's about my age and dumb as a hammer, like brain injury dumb. About every two weeks she hallucinates that she is pregnant, has the baby, then the baby is murdered by her family. Same thing every two weeks.
So she's a smoker heads out one day, like normal on one of her breaks. She's basically in hospital waiting for group home placement. Well she doesn't come back. Just gone one day, walked off. Apparent this happens sometimes and they call a code. No sign of her.
About a week later she's back. She's got new lipstick, and she's showing off her cleavage. I asked her where she was she said "I got high, I got drunk, and I got LAID." She smirked, happy and fulfilled.
I don't think she had a fucking clue what she was doing, what the consequences of her actions could be. She couldn't even care for herself, but there it was this fantasy of being a mother and the sex she needed to make it come true. It just made me lose faith you know?
But when you saw her, beaming after she thought she had a new baby, when she was hallucinating you could see it - the love. She was so proud, showing off her imaginary baby. I'd get sad knowing what was coming. Love can fuck you up.
I was there 60 days, she was there with me from the first day I left my room and I saw no significant improvement while she was there. She was happy almost all the time, about 6 days a month of weeping and the rest in sort of a delusional happiness. She was content most of the time and I think that was a better place for her than over-sedation. One time while she was crying I asked if she knew it wasn't real, and she said she did and kept crying for a while. That gives me some comfort.
I wish people would realise this about patriotism.
I love my country, so it doesn't get a free fucking pass. It's got to live up to high standards and if that means chastising it when we head in the wrong direction, that's exactly what we should do. Don't give me that 'It's unpatriotic' bullshit. This country was built by people who cared enough to make tough decisions and endure hardships for their goals, not barter and compromise their principles. Love is naive, spineless forgiveness. It's wanting the best for someone or something.
"Parenting 101" should a mandatory course for people to get married to conceive children.
You could saythreaten that they could be (in theory) refused medical assistance in pregnancy if they don't complete the course - they sure as hell know by the 5th month that they are pregnant, right?
The course should be of 3 months - 2-3 days a week.
Child psychologists / therapists should teach these.
This is one place I would say that America should spend $5 bn less on bombs and guns and put this system in place to fix those parents who are able to change. There are many who cannot be fixed but the course could prevent basic disasters like gullibly believing "vaccines cause autism" etc.
jyb5394 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love is my mom spanking me to teach me a lesson and watching me cry and hate her. Then 14 YEARS later finally get my thank you for not letting me be a brat.
You can "love" somebody and not realize you're messing them up.
I don't even believe that this is true. I think that if you actually love somebody, you will necessarily be attentive to their needs and will necessarily inhibit the elements of your person that do them harm. You might say: but what if I'm incapable? What if it's just too hard? But I say: bitch, how could you possibly love them if you don't specifically want to do those things? And how could you not develop the aptitude if you actually do the work? It's ridiculous!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:05:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mental illness fucking sucks - that's how.
Seriously, most of the shitty parenting I have seen is 1) unexamined thoughtlessness. or 2) people who need crazy pills. The upside of thoughtless parenting is that it usually doesn't involve CPS. But, pretty much anything that involves CPS is someone needing and, for whatever reason, not having the proper crazy pills.
I'm sure it would be more comfortable to tell yourself that this mental health case is actually a loving person who just needs some crazy pills, but I just don't believe it. To me, the ability to love is a byproduct of psychological maturity and not everyone can do it from the position they're in, whereas most instances of being debilitated by mental health issues are a byproduct of psychological immaturity and are fundamentally incompatible with that maturity.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:11:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We can agree to disagree!
Look, I am not saying every person with destructive mental illness is a loving person inside. From my point of view, the feeling we call "love' is basic to being a mammal. That's a pretty low bar. So, in my world, pretty much everyone is capable of love. (and everyone needs it). I would call what you're talking about "substantive nurturing" and I agree not everyone is capable of that.
Also, my take on mental illness is drastically different than yours. But, in any event, it was just my .02 on why that stuff happens. Cheers.
Love is a verb, bro. Is it a loving action to let your kid get morbidly obese before they can drive? To those people, I would say, no, your kid is important to you, but you don't love them because you don't fucking know how.
As a social worker, this one drives me crazy. The common (internal) response is, "If that's how you love someone, I'd hate to see how you treat someone you hate."
Holy Jehovah, this attitude about pets!! I had one particular roommate who got a bulldog puppy. Took her a year to get him neutered. NEVER walked him. No discipline. Seldom fed him and rarely refreshed his water. Like any college kid, she left the house in the morning, had a full day then came home tired. Faithful dog always greeted her coming home. She would constantly completely ignore him, not even a "Hey buddy" or even touching him. Natch, he keeps getting in her face just to be acknowledged to the point where she blows up at him for wanting his owner to say hello!! Also, her bf had a cat and the litter went unchanged for weeks at a time.
The dog was so sweet and so smart and I would not ignore him being neglected right in my own house. Long story short I became proactive and took care of him, walks, baths, attention, play, new food so he would stop chewing himself. Eventually we have the talk where if I am going to keep playing the part of dog owner, I need to own the dog. At some point she drops the line, "I will never give up my pets. You may not think I am a good mother, but you're wrong. My pets are my children." Ooo, you ripe cunt, if your pets were children I would have called the cops on your sorry ass! Still makes my skin crawl. Thinking you like dogs in general doesn't mean you're a loving pet owner. You are already a neglect-erino, stop trying to save face.
A couple weeks later, after spending days on imgur looking a soft-focus photos of kittens in baskets, she and her bf went a got another cat. Still never changed the litter. And her last name on facebook was "Unique." Fuck. You.
That is absolutely heartbreaking.. You probably bonded with him, too. Christ.
If you are still roommates, I'd document all that in case it becomes a civil case eg. abandonement, any landlord disputes over damages, or if it gets worse and you have to call a shelter, animal control &/or would like to take over their care - receipts, etc may come in handy.
Thank you for taking care of the pets because you love them - you are totally his parent & if she doesn't know it the little guy most definitely does.
Thank you too. It feels so nice to read this. That was a real hard year emotionally and I learned some great things vicariously through her mistakes. She and her bf did break up, and she moved across the country. OF COURSE, she couldn't take the dog with her and gave him up. The exact thing she told me she would never do which is why I couldn't have him. The dog went to another former roommate of hers who really stepped up. I wasn't crazy about the roommate but I appreciate him.
If it makes you feel any better I remember hearing about a squad of Marines that had 'adopted' some puppies in Iraq. Upon redeployment, they realized the horrors these animals would face in the local culture. They decided to put them down, but none of them could do it. Hardened, combat Marines. One of them worked up the courage to finally do it with the nine mil, and shot each one in the head, as his soggy eyed mates watched on. You probably should have been that Marine.
exactly, love can be intention, it can be nurturing action, or it can simply mean 'this person fills x,y,z needs (fucked up or otherwise) i have.' that goes for most types of relationships.
ibbity ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:19:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like, if someone can look at the terrible terrible consequences of their shitty behavior and then throw a hissy fit that someone would take issue with said shitty behavior, then that hissy fit would make me hate the person even more. Because not only did they do the shit, they're offended that you would point out that the shit was done.
l2np ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:08:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They might still love their kids. They're just horrible at parenting.
Eshlau ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:00:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, along the same lines, parents who think that simply loving their children is enough and makes them great parents, regardless of how well they provide for, educate, and spend time with them.
It's like, if you don't have enough money to even care for yourself, if you are so busy that your child will have a 24-hour nanny, or if you think that dropping your kid off at school and then putting them in front of the TV the moment they get home until bedtime is the way to go, maybe don't have kids, regardless of how much you'll "love" them.
"You love your kids, I'm not disputing that. You're just bad at parenting."
amanitus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has to bite their tongue hearing addict parents in group therapy... yeah.
"My child is a miracle that has completely changed my life."
Yeah, you kept slamming heroin into your veins all throughout pregnancy and the courts haven't completely taken away your ability to see them. I'm glad that you made and are subjecting an innocent child to the chaos that is your life in order to make you feel better about yourself.
Ugh, you just described one of my older cousins. She has two boys who are thankfully being looked after their (while only slightly) better parent, their dad.
My cousin has zero custody of her children and is only allowed supervised visits at the father's permission. Why? Because she is meth'd out and fucked up.
She looks like a corpse (she is under 100lbs) and is constantly strung out. Yet most of her FB posts are talking about how awesome her boys are as if she is even remotely responsible for that. She sees them maybe twice a year and has to mail them their Christmas gifts. Infuriates the living hell out of me! /rant
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:38:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On that note.."My kid is such a monster!"
ibbity ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:21:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ha ha ha, isn't it cute how he hasn't stopped throwing a tantrum for the past 15 minutes? He sure does have his opinions! Omg, that smaller child just pushed him after he yanked her hair and stole her toy and stomped on her feet, time to go scream in her face and threaten her!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:49 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call my kids monsters :( affectionately, mostly because one growls when we play hide and seek. And wants to eat my food all the time. And we had a small biting issue that we resolved. I don't love them any less for being toddlers, but toddlers default mode is "asshole" and it's your job to turn that little asshole into a functioning member of society. Along the way I think it's okay to be exasperated at times.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:32:46 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even so I would disagree with your line of thought, you're still conceding that you child is base instead of recognizing that he is a human just like you. He isn't an asshole just a human who doesn't know societal mores.
Do you have kids? Do you really think I think my children are subhuman. Their brains don't work the same way as mine or yours and the stage I'm currently dealing with is a time of experimentation. Sometimes it's cute, "what will happen if I pour water onto my food." Sometimes it's destructive "what will happen if I smack my brother with this toy hammer" all of it is innocent, but it can be annoying and I guess I'm just not a good enough parent because I can roll my eyes to my partner and call my kid a monster when we've had a hard day.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:53:29 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rolling your eyes instead of teaching your kid and calling him a little monster-how cute he is acting badly-about it is exactly the definition of bad parenting. Of course their brain works differently. They don't know! They learn faster than adults though, and you forgo this so you can indulge yourself with an exasperated sigh and basically say its his fault.
Not at all. I definitely correct things that need correcting and reward positive things. It doesn't mean that later on talking about it I can't roll my eyes or vent etc. Again, guessing you aren't a parent or sole caregiver of a small child. Being frustrated is part of the territory of being a parent. Unless you're a robot.
batork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying you don't love them, you just love shitheads.
"I'm not saying you don't love them mam, I'm saying that the doctor has some concerns that you aren't feeding them properly and this woman for CPS is here to talk to you and them. No you may not leave the hospital at this time"
Well when kids turn into little brats, its because of too lenient parenting. The kids get everything they want, then they dont get 1/10000000000 thing, they lose their minds, cry, scream, etc. Alot of parents' response is "okay you can have it."
This is caused by parents actually loving too much, and desiring to give their kid that perfect life where everything they want is within hands reach. When the kid throws a tantrum, its along the lines of "i hate you, you dont love me, etc" so a parents response to this will be along the lines of "oh my god, my baby hates me, they think i dont love them, i dont want them to feel that way, i have to give them what they want."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying you don't love your kids, I'm saying your a shit parent. That's what my response would be if I didn't want to get leaned against by an obese father defending his rascal-riding wife.
On the flip side: I genuinely do not love my children, but I'm making sure they have a pleasant upbringing and a bright future. I'm taking responsibility and doing what I must but there's nothing there emotionally.
The lack thereof or the worship of the child and the teaching that they are the sole meaning the entire universe was created...
[deleted] ยท 1779 points ยท Posted at 15:21:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who think they have mastered the art of 'negging' and that makes them irresistible to women. Usually starting with same cookie-cutter, "Your <Good quality> hides <Bad quality>" sort of comments.
Low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances.
it sounds awful.
EDIT: There's been a ton of responses stating different points of view, so here's what I've gathered. Because it's slang, there's not really one clear definition, but there seems to be two prevailing opinions on the definition:
a form insulting a woman to lower her confidence and inevitably seduce her
a friendly method of flirting that involves playful banter rather than genuine put-downs
A couple people have also mentioned PUAs and the D.E.N.N.I.S. System. Just thought I'd share what I found out about those things:
PUA stands for Pick-Up Artist, which is a term that has attained a pretty negative connotation in recent years.
They sort of give two different perspectives on the subject. Both seem to agree that being labeled a modern pickup artist is not really a positive term. I'm not really taking a stance either way, just trying to share the information I've found.
The D.E.N.N.I.S. System is from the sitcom It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Dennis describes his system of seducing woman through an anagram of his name.
I thought it started out as the idea of playfully joking with someone while you flirt so that you have a little affectionate dig at them rather than just shower them with compliments like a creep.
How that mutated into the idea of straight up insulting people I have no idea.
Huh, that's interesting. In Polish culture, teasing is really standard in terms of flirting, and growing up in a Polish-American household, it was hard for me to sort of adjust to the more American version of flirting (which involved a lot more butt-kissery if you ask me).
Toytles ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 17:48:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
As a self professed teaser who is currently in a long term relationship with a bilingual Polish girl, is that why my life is what it is?
Vindexus ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:24:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, no. That's actually the result of a curse.
I_chose2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:27:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha yeah the old whore of Warsaw, Slungus Hortaloat, placed a spell on her that if ever she was to stop being teased in her life, she would grow a cock on her face and get raped in a dumpster. The more you know!
Little hint: a lot of children's games are extended little flirty teases. It helps cut down on that treacle a lot of men say. I hate that stuff like looking at a picture, and a girl says "Man my makeup was whack that day," and the guy says, "No, you're perfect/beautiful." Bro don't patronize me. I think a lot of women see dating a choice between men who lack the self awareness to realize they are smothering, and men who lack the self awareness to realize that they are neglectful.
It feels like lying to me. I don't like lying to a girl, but if I'm in a situation like that, I do try to make light of it. Usually with a dumb response like "it's better than I could do," or, on the more complimentary side, "it's not like it matters, you're gorgeous anyway." It all depends on context though.
Some people like that kind of flattery, but I guess those kind of people just aren't for me.
Yes, it's all a rich tapestry. There is no magic 1-2-3 step process to make people want you, and there is no way all the social savvy in the world can make one particular person fall for you. Complements are just a tool. Don't drown people with them. Sycophants are suffocating. Learning about social interaction is also learning about sales; you are selling yourself. The more ways you learn about entertaining folks, and convincing them, and turning them on, you can tailor what you know to your preferences and personality. For some guys going the direct route does wonders: "Damn, you're good-lookin'. I wanna take you out for drinks and dancing then take you back in for another dance. I think effin' you would be f-u-n. Cmon, let me take you out." For other guys, learn to be a great storyteller: you can entertain a whole group and when someone's friends laugh with you and enjoy your company, that someone feels pretty confident you'll be an acceptable partner. I'll stop ramblin' on you now, thanks for reading.
Joghobs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's definitely a type of flirting in America which involves trading some lighthearted teasing, see Jim and Pam from the US version of The Office, as they had quite a bit of that early in their relationship.
...Love is undoubtedly in the air, but when Jim light-heartedly brings up the topic of their "first date" the very next day, he's quickly told by Pam that he misinterpreted things. It was another early indication of how eagerly the series' writers would tug at the characters' โ and the audience's โ emotions...
..With Pam and Roy's marriage drawing near and Jim on the verge of accepting a transfer to Stamford, Halpert finally takes the plunge and admits to Pam his love for her. Pam initially rejects Jim and once again tells him he misinterpreted the situation, but his persistence pays off and the two share a passionate kiss. The tense moment of silence that follows is one of those instances in which the show's writers cruelly let the audience twist in the wind. It wasn't until the next season that we'd learn things weren't as rosy as they appeared...
Jim was often building Pam up then dropping her, but in a nuanced way that the show made clear she liked. "(Jim gets down on one knee) Pam, I have a very important question for you. We've been dating for a while, and I want to know - (pause) - will you get me a soda from the break room while you're there?" (Pam starts looking taken aback and apprehensive for most of it, until the end where she smiles).
Not exactly exactly negging...something in the same ballpark though. Also their mutual bonding activity was basically to constantly neg Dwight.
Apparently I tease without realizing I'm flirting.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 23:50:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of, I'm sick of people talking about the Office as some kind of religion. That show was okay, tops.
I_chose2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:29:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The downvotes just make this comment that much funnier
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:25:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No kidding.
Adasafa ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:22:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up where I did, it's pretty common for us to make fun of our friends in a joking way. There's one guy in our group who thought it would be a good idea to get all of his academic courses out of the way, then go for the ones for his degree, but now he's stuck there until late next year because of his decision. We nicknamed him OS because it's that one class holding him back.
Among my friends, we do the same. We heavily insult each other because it's funny, not because we want to hurt each other's feelings. In my experience with significant others, most of the girls I've dated haven't enjoyed that banter as much.
Girls tease each other too. I definitely do with my friends. I think part of why girls tend to not respond as well to banter like that with men/their partners is because men are often much more mean and cutting then they might realize, even if they have zero negative intention behind it and are just kidding around. I've found SOs are more likely to joke about touchy/hot spot subjects than my girlfriends are, and I can't stand it. Hence, I don't enjoy being teased by men as much.
And there is a certain amount of closeness required for some teasing.
If you barely know the person, and hes with a group of guys getting all in the act, its unlikely to be received well.
If its one in one and you've broken the ice a little, and its said in a very light hearted way, with laughter and about something that isnt a huge deal its more likely to be well received
I believe the difference is that teasing isn't meant to be taken seriously. This is like "are you alright? You just look off today." Not technically an insult, comes from what sounds like a good place, and she'll be self conscious all day, and notably change her self-image. By extension, her standards will drop as well, and you have a better shot.
I feel like American flirting is also a lot of teasing and joking around, but what do I know I suck at flirting.
Parysian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never experienced the butt kissery thing. Good flirting always has a few good jabs in it. Someone being overly complimentary can be a major turn off. But that's just my experience.
What your describing is what seems similar to how it goes down here in England too. Well at least from my experience. Can't stand the 'showering with complements butt-kissery kind of flirting.
The old "theory", on the forums back in the early 2000s, was that the most attractive women were used to men telling them how beautiful they are, and complimenting them, and so they would naturally tune them out in the same way that we ignore banner ads on the internet. By pointing out minor flaws in a playful manner, the "pick-up artist" would set himself apart from the "nice guys" who will only make compliments, spark a slight amount of interest (not necessarily romantic, at this point) and be able to strike up a true conversation.
At some point since 2010, this seems to have turned into "be an asshole to seduce average women"...
anon445 ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 01:33:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Also, that Urban Dictionary definition is purposely negative. It was clearly written by a girl who had heard this term probably explained by a guy friend or biased blog.
Even the assholes would never define negging as an outright insult (regardless of whether that's what they're actually doing). The keyword is "backhanded," which every PUA would know.
EDIT: downvoted because no one should stick up for those demonized pua, eh?
Neg or Neg Hit: A comment that instead of being complimentary is instead slightly insulting or indifferent. It is used primarily to get past a bitch shield by saying something the woman is not expecting to hear. This sets yourself apart from other men who shower them in compliments.
Also:
Bitch Shield: An abrasive defensive behavior women use when they get tired of too many men hitting on them
Also, read up the questions about manipulation on that FAQ :)
anon445 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you agreeing with me? Because that seems to reinforce what I said.
You still haven't done it justice. I'll do it. The point of negging is this: to present yourself as a viable mate by demonstrating that you are not dependent on securing the approval of the woman.
Nobody else in this thread has any fucking idea what he's talking about.
I think the other post was more descriptive. Subtly undermining a woman who's a 10 and used to owning the whole scene all the time is rather different than trying to do that to someone who's legitimately insecure.
There's a big difference between criticizing the guy who acts like he's hot shit and knows everything, vs criticizing the guy who's down on his luck and struggling to get by, both morally and technically.
I never said it was meant for the insecure. In theory, the approach is meant for 10s and insecure women alike, as its intended effect is to show that your standing is higher than the woman's and frame the encounter as though she should pursue you rather than expect you to pursue her. I have no doubt that the technique was described in such language as to suggest its purpose is to subdue 10s, but the core mechanism is just as I've said: the presentation that you yourself are (more) viable
Source: I had a few very brief run-ins with PUA material by sheer coincidence and just happen to remember understanding these principles..... I swear I care much less about this crap than it sounds
I used to be a fairly regular lurker on alt.seduction.fast and its spin-off forums, 15 years ago. There has always been a lot of bullshit in the PUA community (including a lot of commercial bullshit, since a lot of these communities were founded by people like Jeffries or DiAngelo, who wanted to sell their own courses and techniques), and a lot of anecdotal evidence being used as proof (e.g. I used NLP and she went along, therefore NLP works). Also, since I lived in a different country, a lot of content didn't apply for cultural reasons (things like "dates" are very alien to many French people).
Still, there were a few nuggets that the overall community managed to get right, and most of these fell under the headlines of "be an interesting person" (thanks you, Captain Obvious) and "don't be a Nice Guy". I believe the latter advice is very good when you don't want to be single.
A very important issue is that "Nice Guy" had a fairly complex definition in those circles, and it most certainly wasn't the opposite of "asshole". Some of the essential traits of the "Nice Guy" were:
thinks that women will want to date him because he treats them well.
pretends to be looking for a friend, when in fact looking for a girlfriend.
thinks that a woman can be "won" by spending enough time, effort and/or money.
does not realize when the time, effort and money he is spending is making him look desperate.
Not being a "Nice Guy" involves:
women will want to date you if you're interesting. Most PUA gurus would add "there are techniques for that, buy my book". Also, realize that expecting women to date you because of anything is degrading, as it makes the date look like a reward or a transaction.
be honest about what you're looking for. It saves everyone time, and pretending to be friends when you don't really want to is a True Asshole Move.
if a woman does not find you to be interesting, no amount of effort, time and/or money is going to change that.
don't look desperate or creepy. Also, avoid unbalanced relationships, like being the only one to suggest dates or initiate conversations.
What I mean is that there is no social expectation of how relationships should start. Once you are in a relationship with someone, you will obviously go out together on what you could call dates (we just say "go out"). How you get to that point is entirely open, but meeting someone of the opposite sex alone is usually not taken as the first step towards a relationship (unless you set up the meeting through, say, a dating website).
Alhough I would argue that demonstrating this is in fact the whole point of "don't be a Nice Guy" (of which negging was originally a specialized technique), I agree that your statement is essential to understanding the general context of the ASF movement that came up with negging in the first place.
spark a slight amount of interest (not necessarily romantic, at this point)
The only interest it ever sparked in me was, I should like to not be talking to him now or I should like to see his self-esteem destroyed depending on what was remarked.
Yeah, it's teasing. If hitting on someone is a positive hit, then a neg is a negative hit. The idea is that a good flirter won't hit on someone until they have earned the right to be hit on. To become more outgoing, I have started "flirting" with pretty much everyone: the retiree cashier, the high school cashier, the married bus driver, my own damn grandma, everyone appreciates a little flirting. This is basically dumb jokes and little stories and just plain friendliness. This is nice. In my interactions, if someone starts feeding back into me and we build a little tension and maybe I think she's pretty interesting, then I might shift to a bit harder flirting or just plain hitting on her. The neg is the little tease that balances your complements and forwardness so you don't seem like a tryhard or an overly attached creep. And even then, one soft one is all you need. If you walk up to someone out of the blue and just say "Those shoes don't go with that top" then the person will very reasonably think you're a fuckface.
In its best form, the dating/pickup literature is just a giant mental self help program. It says "Practice being a good and attractive person to everyone, men and women, gay and straight, black and white, young and old. Make them want to be around you. At the same time, it says "Get a good job you like that you can proud of, get your body into a condition you can be proud of, and find a hobby you can be passionate about to be a more interesting person." The idea is to raise yourself up to achievement and indicate to partners that they can reach achievement too. Don't look down on people, lift them up.
ikorolou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:18:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then make fun of yourself? Like obviously not exclusively, but y'know.
I understand the desire for guidance but some of these folks are so rigid in their thinking that any kind of nuance is totally lost on them.
Dullard: "I'm wondering whether I should flirt with my hot co-worker, what do you think?"
Me: "That might be cool but it depends."
Dullard: "On what? I need a an answer here."
Me: "On your personal and business relationship with them, on whether you're comfortable with it, on whether they're comfortable with it, on whether you think it's appropriate in that setting, on whether there workplace rules about it, etc, etc."
But apparently making a judgement call is beyond these people.
Lol! It's so weird.. I love the way people think others are oblivious to this kind of carry on!
Also basically what happens as a result in the mind of the negger is; if you do get that person you're into to sleep with you, the reason it happened was because they didn't notice your successful attempt at making them feel worse in order to lower their standards to your level..
Yeah that's gonna be great for a persons self worth and psyche in the long run /s
It's tantamount to making your friends look bad to look good or hanging around obese people to make your fat arse look less chubby. It's obvious to the casual observer, nothing has changed until you actually make an effort and your personality will still be that of a wet dishcloth after tricking someone to sleep with you.
Tl;Dr negging is obvious to anyone with half a brain and can cause real psych problems to those using it.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:41:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it works. I did it by accident once, I tried to tell a girl to fuck off by being an asshole (in my defence, she was really annoying) and it had the opposite effect. Until that moment I thought the whole negging thing was bullshit and no one could fall for it.
Knowing that it works makes it more disgusting though.
I think that's more of a situation of wanting what she can't have. It's definitely a similar circumstance though.
ibbity ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 21:40:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It works on sad girls with no confidence who feel the need to gain the approval of everyone they meet or else they feel even worse about themselves. Which is exactly what the PUA guys are counting on leveraging in order to get her to sleep with them.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:57:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PUA
Idk what this means, but I googled. I am disappointed, not even mad, just disappointed.
And the fact that this works on girls who are going trough hard times or have confidence issues is disgusting. They are literally preying on the weak and taking advantage of them, while potentially causing more damage and trust issues that could last a long time. Some people really need a high five... On the face... With a closed fist.
ibbity ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:03:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aiming for girls with confidence issues and emotional problems is exactly what that kind of person tries to do, because it's all about getting their dick wet and the lower the self-esteem of the girl, the easier they apparently find it to do so.
Until that moment I thought the whole negging thing was bullshit and no one could fall for it.
Yeah, while I had never negged anyone consciously myself, when they started talking about it I looked back and realized "holy shit, girls really did want to have the most passionate sex when someone or something else made them feel bad".
It's not a 100% of the time quality, but it's definitely a thing that happens quite a bit.
ucbiker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to get accused of negging all the time, when in fact, I was just straight up insulting people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your insightful comment really hides the fact that you're hitler;)
The idea comes from group theory where in order to seem attractive to the pretty girl in the group, you need to ignore her and/or put her down while getting her friends' favour, which makes her seek your approval instead of vice-versa.
It's already a dick move psychological trick, but when it's just you walking up to a girl and being passive-aggressive, that's just a dick move, period.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:03:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That's how you tell the difference between a good neg and a bad neg...and the one dude who induces cringe by thinking he's going to get laid by following a formula/rulebook (he won't), versus the one dude who is suave af and really sweeps the lady off her feet.
I've never really done it myself, because I never needed it, as I was never into the hooking-up lifestyle. But I have a close friend who was into it, and I've personally seen it in action.
The word "neg" is dehumanizing, but those who are good at it make their comments in the way where it is never dehumanizing or insulting. It's really just teasing, reworded.
Often Feminists like to say that only weak-minded females fall into the PUA tricks, but from what I've seen, that's not true.
The PUA are a strange community, and their #1 rule is a strange reverse psychology where if they are don't care about failing, he ends up being more confident, and in return become even more attractive due to that confidence boost.
Half of PUA is just Attraction & Flirting 101: but rewritten with misogynist undertones, because it believes that by not putting the opposite gender on a pedestal, Guys tend to fuck up less. The objectifying language is what helps that community do that.
But at the end of the day, a really good PUA is no different than a Womanizer, or someone who is really good at flirting and hooking up. It's all different words for the same exact process.
Had a guy come up to me in a club once and just repeatedly state "you arse? Yeah it looks shit. Your arse looks shit in that skirt." over and over. I guess it was negging, if it wasn't ... Still a dickhead thing to do.
Yeah, but girls are even bigger jerks. You can watch them deliberately, pointedly build guys up just to drop the guy with "what, you thought were were flirting?" like an ass. I mean the girls have had a few drinks - they've lost their ability to be plausibly deniable when they do it, it's really obvious.
No, not all women all women all the time at all. The post I was responding to was talking about a situation where a guy was being an "in your face jerk" - that's not even close to all men all the time either.
But just like there's always a few guys like that at the place every night, there's always a few girls maliciously deliberately building guys up for the thrill of dropping them. Or worse, I've seen the "girl trying to get guys to get into a fistfight over her" thing, but that's a different subject.
Sexual predators and abusers do many many things that are turn-ons. It's kinda like saying "robbers took my money" - well so did the surgeon who saved my life.
All of the female romance movies from the last decade involve the guy being kind of a dick to the girl - is there a point where you're going to catch on that it's a very effective strategy that girls fantasize about?
Our culture is super messed up regarding sex and romance, but pretending that isn't the case doesn't change it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:23:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People forget that behind every PUA is a very disappointed feminist who trusted what women told them women wanted. Then after years and years of nothing working they do one PUA things and it works. What do you think is gonna happen? PUAs are alive and kicking because for some people it's the only way to avoid loneliness
Not only that but some females don't actually offer any valuable advice to their male friends that are lonely because they don't want to hurt their feelings.
Things like "you will find someone for you some day" and the like.
It's hard to give advice, especially when things are true. Think about how hard it is to tell someone their fly is unzipped, or they have food in their teeth.
Now, think about a guy that has, let's say, really bad dandruff.
If he asked for advice, the vast majority of people would assume he knows, and doesn't care. Why would you tell someone something obvious, risk the person getting mad, and losing a friend? Telling people stuff is hard!
So. If someone is reading this, maybe here is something that could help. A lot of this only refers to first meetings, or trying to meet someone.
The best place to start is basic hygiene and take a look in a mirror. Nails, hair, teeth, breath, EARS, behind the ears, clothes without stains, not all wrinkled, clean everything. You don't have to have fancy clothes, just neat and clean. Shower every day. Unless you have a job as a mechanic, you have no need to have dirt under your nails.
Look at your shoes. Nasty shoes are a turn-off to many women. They can be Dollar Store flip-flops, but they need to be clean.
Don't wear stupid or offensive logos or images.
And stand up tall. People that slouch look defeated.
Don't talk like a bad facepalm post, don't curse, because it can be offensive when you don't know someone.
Have something to talk about that isn't specialized. Not everyone knows what a VPN is; not everyone has seen GOT or plays WOW.
Don't talk to women using verbiage that describes their body parts, unless it is their eyes or their hair. You can say something about shoes, but that's all. When you are first meeting someone, don't compliment anything that you wouldn't compliment to your grandmother. Life is not like a porno.
If you are in a bar, or somewhere meeting people, concentrate on meeting ONE person. Just one. Have a conversation. Women know when you are looking over their shoulder for the next 'hot chick' to walk in the door.
If several guys have tried to talk to the same woman, forget her. Some women take perverse pleasure in shooting guys down. Avoid them.
Be nice, but don't be a doormat. The negging works because women look for strong men. It may get you sex, but it is really destructive, because you are not going to respect any woman who falls for it. Respect is the basis of a good relationship.
Volunteer somewhere. You can meet so many people, it can get you outside, and the people there are pre-disposed to like you, because you are there for a common cause. Plus, it makes you feel good. Confidence (not arrogance) is sexy.
Find people in places that you want to be. If you smoke pot, don't try to date Mormons. If you like tall women, don't go to a little people's convention. If you like country music, don't go to a techno bar.
These aren't hard things, and they require zero dollars. These are just suggestions. I am not an expert.
Edit: word
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea well when you ask a women what they want almost always say "just be yourself" "be nice" probably worst advice you can give ever
Every PUA I've ever spoken to has been a misogynist who latched onto a philosophy that matched his preexisting beliefs.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:02:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the other way, being a PUA makes you a misogynist because it usually highlights the not so good parts of women behavior. Btw I think men have those not so good behaviors too. Just that PUAs focus on women's only
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:08:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was on Silicon Valley once. When Richard tried negging the potential investors to drive up their value.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what the worst part of negging is? It fucking works too often. The trick is to not be an asshole. Make it seem goofy and like a joke. Because it should be. But hot damn if it doesn't work half the time.
Kignak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you believe that someone who was applying for a job in my department put Charm School on their resume? My boss thought it was hilarious so she told us all. The job was for an office specialist in a veterinary clinic!
pohatu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
look your worshipfullness
Best "neg" ever. You may be Princess Leia, but I'm not going to line up to kiss your ass like all the other men.
That's all it really means. Distinguish yourself from the other chumps by expecting the beautiful woman to impress you with the content of her character and not the halo she might expect you should place on her because of her appearance.
Taken in this way, "negging" is code for feminism. Okay, maybe that's a bit too far, but I say we take it that far. Dare to look past a woman's looks and be bold enough to alert her to that fact by making a joke or two about, ideally, how human and normal she is.
Obviously this makes the most sense only with the most superficial and egotistical people who are used to having people blow sunshine up their butts.
Replace "women" with bosses for career advice. 'Neg' a boss, show him/her you see them as human and do so in a funny good natured way, and you look human to them too.
The thing about being a 'pick up artist' or just someone who is generally into pick up is that when you're doing it CORRECTLY no one should know you're doing it.
Negging is something everyone does, the problem is when it's forced. If you're saying you've never playfully insulted someone while flirting I really just don't believe you. That's what a neg is supposed to be, a playful backhanded compliment. An example would be like if a girl told you she was a model, you could be like haha oh what like a hand model? That's not quite right, but the general idea. The way people frame 'negging' is just super dumb, but then again, having a term for it and forcing it is pretty dumb too.
IDK. I got really into pickup for like a year. It changed my life. Made me more confident and overall a more well rounded individual. It just bums me out when people talk so negatively about pickup.
I just buy monster condoms for my magnum dong and take the scraps
shmadman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:12:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Nah I'd say thats an incorrect definition. The word negging is stupid, but PUA was designed for guys so fucking awkward they have yo read up on how to speak to women. (it takes one to know one btw).
Negging is just supposed to be a joke or two about the person you are talking to, the same way you would with a good buddy. Not offensive or degrading, but its just risky because you dont know the girl and thus she might take offence but if you were friends she would without a doubt laugh as long as you didnt cross the line from playful banter to completely offensive and inappropriate.
Negging is suggested in PUA because nervous men on dates have a bad habbit of being like "what do you do for a living?.... Wow that sounds exciting... Oh you volunteer too?... You're such a great person...wow, you're so pretty as well". They are basically yes-men in the conversation overly praising the date whereas that is so boring to be on the receiving end of it. Instead, why not have a personality. Have a conversation and insert jokes about you, her, or the bad movie you just watched and have fun.
Being on your best behaviour for a date is fake and is the quickest way to show you are nervous and dont feel good enough for her. Instead just be yourself and have fun. If she likes you she likes you, if not thats ok as well.
Its terrible that people have to read PUA blogs for hours just to realise that the best way to be attractive to women is to just be yourself. But a confident self.
Edit:
TLDR: negging = nonoffensive friendly jokes to cut the tension on a date, treating each other as friends who get along well enough to crack little jokes about one another, thereby skipping out of the "this guy is a stranger, i hope he doesnt kill me" zone on a date and into the "fyew, he remind me of [insert trusted male friend's name], i guess i can let me gaurd down now, relax, and enjoy this date" zone
TLDR's TLDR: negging = pretending to be buddies by cracking jokes about one another
TLDR's TLDR's TLDR: negging = being socially competent
Nah I'd say thats an incorrect definition. The word negging is stupid, but PUA was designed for guys so fucking awkward they have yo read up on how to speak to women. (it takes one to know one btw).
Let's try a little reality. The US has the lowest birth rate it's ever had, the lowest marriage rate, and though it's harder to track looks like everyone is having a lot less sex:
A new study suggesting millennials will have fewer sex partners than Boomers got everyone talking about indifferent twentysomethings and their sexed-up parents, but the truth may be even more shocking: a separate study found almost half of twentysomethings have not had sex at all in the last year.
The study says one in three 20-somethings have never had sex at all. โYouโd think theyโd be focused on sleeping around, but really what theyโre focused on is getting ahead,โ explains Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University and Chief Scientific Advisor for Match. โIn their 20s I think theyโre working very hard.
No one knows how to talk to girls - even girls. In fact it's become a big thing again where girls say "I keep having this thing where when I like a guy, I get real nervous and run the other way".
This whole "everyone else is having lots of sex" is a big cultural lie so you don't notice that everyone (women and men) are mostly spending their lives away working.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they should start calling it something else?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah, this is the way I always saw it too. Not to undermine confidence or anything like that, just a playful tease to show you can be fun.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a great date that started with a neg. Were were supposed to meet up at the Starbucks at Barnes and Noble and stroll around. She showed up to starbucks.... with starbucks. I was like "Girl, that is so basic" we had a good laugh and left for dinner.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a manipulative sex strategy used by lonely chauvinists.
ktappe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:31:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And yet it works on a certain % of women. Most couples I know involve the man mildly insulting the woman (in a supposedly kidding kind of way) several times a day, and her loving him for it.
nate800 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol reddit white knights don't want to hear that. They want to think the girls are infallible goddesses. Truth is everyone's playing the game to get the most for the least price in every aspect of life
Some stalls you can roll a bowling ball between the door and the wall where it closes.
Csantana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:29:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean obviously a bowling ball's relative obscureness (not many people own their own) makes it funnier than like a baseball or tennis ball yeah but I think we can find the funny in other places. Maybe not role sports equipment down the stall but some round fruits? just like 3 mangos or something
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How about a grapefruit and a cantaloupe?
Csantana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'l have to talk to the guys at the lab but I bet we can manage it
Sounds like a pretty great idea. If you're on the toilet, you get a free bowling ball!
darktask ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 18:30:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. I was just skewered by a cartoon
Rinzack ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 22:45:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea can we just talk about that real quick? because that hit REALLY close to home... Like how do we address that specific thing she said (because its absolutely what my life/mind set is like)... I spend a ton of time thinking of how to get beyond my mediocrity but it never helps either...
I can't speak for everyone, but as someone nearing his 30's and watching all my friends get married and move out and have careers, I think a big part of it is asking whether or not I personally place a lot of importance on those things, or I just think that I should because everyone else says they do.
So what if I'm not married with a kid, I treasure my free time. So what if I didn't go to a four year, I'm not in debt and working an entry level job just to pay it off so that I MIGHT move up to a higher pay grade later. So what if I live at home, I pay all my own bills and help out around the house and I actually like my family, rather than living paycheck to paycheck or with a bunch of friends just so I can say I'm "independent."
But that's just me, everyone's goals are different. Maybe the problem with feeling mediocre is what you're attempting to attain, not with what you're doing about it.
darktask ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:25:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can understand what you're saying, but for people who already know they're not doing what they want to do, this sounds an awful lot like complacency.
Certainly revision of goals is a good thing; lives change, people change but trying to fit your reality by giving up your goals sounds like settling to me.
It can go both ways, and in retrospect I should have clarified that.
As you said, revision of goals is one thing, abandoning them for complacency is another.
But just as those are two sides of one issue, so are the ideas of "I'm mediocre as a person" vs. "This isn't working out because it's not for me."
It doesn't mean you must change your goals, but rather it's a possibility. And ifnyou do some soul searching and end up saying "this IS what I want" it can light a fire in you that drives you to find a new way to get what you're after.
darktask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. But speaking for myself and likely /u/Rinzack, copious soul searching has already been conducted.
darktask ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:59:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I've given this some thought and I think the best course of action is just that - action. It doesn't really matter if our perspectives change but our behaviors don't. And I don't really know if there's a better systematic approach than failure analysis at this type of thing. Basically try until something sticks, then work that till it stops producing results, think about why it failed and adjust accordingly.
Samuel Beckett said, Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
Except this is yet another realization that I can believe will help me out of my pit of mediocrity when in fact it'll be as fruitless as previous efforts to be not useless
The preface about the bowling ball thing is a series of strips about how the girl and the bowling ball guy are actually kind of assholes. There's no way the negging guy is going to win, because he's dealing with people better at the asshole game than he is.
I had a guy tell me at my highest weight that I was very pretty for a girl my size. Like that was supposed to make me feel good about myself. Would this be an example of what you mean?
That is exactly it. Plus that kind of dude thinks overweight girls are desperate and will let a dude fuck them and treat them like shit because they're so hard up for attention.
That's exactly how I felt with that guy. He would make me feel low, treat me like crap, and like I should feel blessed he would grace me with his presence. It was gross and weird, and made me feel like crap. He wasn't exactly wrong, but that didn't make how he treated me right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, anyone who says it is doesn't know shit. Negging is basically another word for the good ol banter and playful teasing. Calling someone fat ain't teasing. Joking pointing out someone's stupid doing (on either gender) is playful teasing or negging
kaleyt ยท 317 points ยท Posted at 16:03:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omg when guys think they've mastered the art of negging when really they're just SUPER ANNOYING. When you say "ok you're actually the most irritating person I've ever met" and they laugh act all smug about it as if their technique is "working". lmao, like, no honey, I am the complete opposite of impressed right now.
G_Morgan ยท 319 points ยท Posted at 16:17:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm convinced "negging" only works because previously the person asked out no girls and now with a plan he's asking out many. Raw numbers will work eventually regardless of plan.
Yep. That and that it's probably done subtly enough a lot of the time that the girls don't pick up on it and mistake his arrogance for confidence. I doubt these relationships that do make it into the bedroom last much longer once the chick has picked up on the fact that no, he wasn't just a little nervous and acting kind of dumb. He's a legit idiot.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:31:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yes, this is the only advice from a pick up artist I've heard that was convincing... try starting a conversation with a hundred random women, 99 will tell you to go away, you will find one looking for sex. Of course you have to not mind being insulted, so it's like the opposite of what OP is talking about.
Negging (AKA teasing) works because you're showering a girl with attention without making yourself look like a chump in the process. Guys who don't understand this grossly overdo it or just say a lot of awkward stuff.
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 16:51:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I've had plenty of guys try that on me without being insulting. I find the whole teasing shtick boring but a lot of girls don't.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:01:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a lot of girls don't.
Yeah, girls with low self-esteem. The girls I hang out with certainly don't appreciate being negged.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:38:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:08:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are correct. Girls with a sense of self-worth will see right through that bullshit and won't fall for "OMG HE'S PAYING ATTENTION TO ME", just like how men with a sense of decency and real self-worth won't try and pull that shit.
In learned helplessness studies, an animal is repeatedly exposed to an aversive stimulus which it cannot escape. Eventually, the animal stops trying to avoid the stimulus and behaves as if it is helpless to change the situation. When opportunities to escape become available, learned helplessness means the animal does not take any action.
Teasing in social situations is not unpleasant and it does not lead to helplessness or stockholm(stockhole?) syndrome you lunatic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like someone who "teases" someone to the point where they're in tears and then you're all like "I was just kidding, can't you take a joke?" Clearly, someone didn't think it was funny.
No, that's not teasing. Teasing requires being able to read someone and judge their reactions like a normal human being. When the other person doesn't enjoy it it's just awkward. Not everything is a power struggle and it's not abuse.
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 19:26:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've met a guy like that before. First I wasn't sure if he was making fun of how some guys think negging works. Then I called him out on it and he looked ecstatic that I was annoyed and said in this really loud mocking voice and held his hands up, "OH! OH, SOMEONE'S GETTING OFFENDED!" He looked just like a bully when he did that. I told him I was leaving and why, he just smirked at me in this really derisive way as if I should be ashamed of myself.
I'm fortunate that I've only met a couple of these guys in my life. The way some guys look at me as if I should be ashamed for not wanting to start anything with them... makes me feel like I'm not a even a human being.
The guys who really buy into the "negging" thing are incapable of being shamed. They've internalized the message that if you're not impressed by their antics, the problem is with you, not them. It's not their fault you're a frigid bitch!
Because they think a negative reaction is better than none, and that they can turn any interest into sex later down the road. So getting under your skin is good thing. Instead of saying that they're annoying or anything negative, tell them they're boring or uninteresting. Just pay them as little attention or emotional expression as possible.
Girl I know left a guy in stunned confusion when, after asking her for a private word, proceeded to criticise her shoes, dress and appearance and was told to piss off when he wanted to come back and sit with her and her friends!
There is a fine line between teasing and being plain insulting. He was nowhere near that line.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:41:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually the idea of getting attention from another person is considered success in their book, so it's not like they've set the bar high for themselves.
It certainly doesn't always work, but it's a bigger shiver when you see it actually work once or twice and you're like "jesus, that actually works sometimes?".
I used to talk to this guy who constantly neg girls to get them to like him and apparently he was really hood at it. He tried it on me and I saw right through and never showed any attention to the things he would say (His favorite was I love how big your nose is). The funny part is after he realized it wasn't working he became obsessed with making me like him. He eventually begged me to love him and just date him. It was like every fiber of his being broke. He had never been rejected and couldn't handle it. I wonder how he's doing now.
Salehnig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that why on two separate occasions when out with a gal pal a guy has come up and asked if we are lesbians? Is that what it was supposed to be, because it didn't work at all. One of the guy's name was Benji and he wore a collar, no thanks
I've had experiences, mostly unintentional, where I've said something insulting to a girl and then she was suddenly interested. I think it's mostly a mistake on the part of the girl for thinking my rude comment was a display of having a spine, unlike the guys who generally fall all over themselves trying to get her attention. Really I was just being rude.
mcrbids ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 18:47:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lmao, like, no honey, I am the complete opposite of impressed right now.
So, depressed?
kaleyt ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:48:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, "unimpressed".
mcrbids ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 18:54:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depressed sounds funnier tho...
[deleted] ยท -33 points ยท Posted at 18:37:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You probably fell for some guys strategy and figured it out too late and are still upset over it.
kaleyt ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:46:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol ew are you one of those negging douches? :S good luck out there bud
[deleted] ยท -24 points ยท Posted at 18:48:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol nah I am pretty good with women where I don't need to do that. Thanks though!
Some guys I genuinely liked did this to me and I'd stop talking to them completely. Like, this one was always commenting on how small my tits were even though they're average size. Wtf. Most women are at least a little body conscious and men complain about this but then try to bring them down?
cdude ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:39:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he was trying to neg you so of course he'd bring you down. Don't bother with people like him. Your tits are small, but they're decent enough for me to enjoy them. Not that i've ever had tits that small. Call me.
What people misunderstand about negging, is that it's literally just talking to women like you would your guy friends. The playful making fun of each other.
And yes, playfully making fun of women makes them smile if you're attractive. So it does work.
Can we call them neggers? I think we could do that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone actually ever seen this in real life or actually come across it? I see it mentioned disparagingly on reddit and other places on the internet, but I've never seen anywhere or anyone actually advocate it. Does it really exist?
That's really dumb. This actually works? If I was on a date and my date said something like that to me I would just leave. Just because you want to get laid easily doesn't mean you can just go around belittling people. I don't know how to feel about the women who fall for this crap cuz on the one hand, it's stupid that they fall for this bullshit, but they're also really insecure, and I get that. To a point. I'm not going to let someone treat me like crap, I've had enough of that. Can anyone explain how this actually works? Cuz I can't fathom how people would put up with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anna Akana made a video about that and it was hilarious. I'll see if I can find the link.
SenorTy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Proud I didn't know what that was until I saw you mention it ๐๐ผ
I'm sure it's a legitimate strategy, to a point. Women who get men falling all over them all the time are impressed when a guy doesn't act like a total weenie in front of them.
That doesn't make it not a total dick move.
The most fucked up thing? I think ive seen it work... Something along the lines of, (in a club or bar or whatever..) your shoes are really nice, i think i saw someone else in here with the same ones and they really caught my eye"
Now, it says one thing about the person who uses that method or system, but it also says something about the person that it works on .. Human psychology eh.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Looooool I love when people think those methods are actually going to work. Newsflash to literally all guys: that shit was created by people who are actually successful at getting women to keep you from being good at it so they have less competition. It could not be further from what you should do in any social interaction. You're being duped hard.
There's another word for negging, it's called teasing. The people who use formulaic negs just aren't very good at teasing people. When done properly (with a sense of humor), it's actually pretty fun for both parties. Source, am human, tease everybody.
Not advocating their use, but most of it has been wildly misinterpreted over the years.
Imagine you, a guy who has had low self-esteem and woman problems all your life... suddenly now has realized women are indeed people too rather than someone on a pedestal looking down upon you.
Have you ever teased your little sister? It's not meant to be taken seriously, it's just a joke. But now you have permission to do it because it doesn't matter how hot a girl is, you demonstrate it doesn't impress you to the point of dumbfounding you.
The problem is, this was taken to ridiculous levels, and often with an overtone of malice. These are misogynists. They're not playing, they're acting out. Ideally you'd like to just be a ball-buster who can take a joke as well.
If you're playful and not needy, you can say whatever you want to anybody, in my experience.
gtatlien ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Negging does work with girls, just not women. Big difference
pjabrony ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:08:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who annoy you: N_GGERS.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:34:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Well the problem is that nobody understands the concept. First of all they're only intended for very attractive girls (like, the top 5-10%). The textbook negs are things like "nice nails, are they real?" and "I like how your nose wiggles when you laugh."
A neg is not a straight up insult. It's a compliment with a subtle dig, the idea being that exceptionally attractive girls are used to compliments and generally ignore most men, so you need something to grab their attention. If the girl you're talking to is already paying attention to you then the time for negs has passed. If she's not model material then negs will just make her sad (hint: when you make girls sad they don't want to make out with you. Give her a sincere compliment instead; it's a one-two punch that makes her happy and makes you appear confident and friendly.)
The word for insulting strangers is "social retardation," not "negging."
Begging only works if you've got someone helping you. See, your wingmate's goal is to be the biggest asshole ever and then after getting the drink thrown on them, you act all nice to the target.
Source: this has worked on exactly 1.6 of the people I've tried this on.
pgajria ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit. Now I'm pissed and in a bad mood. :\
DaSaw ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:57:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even worse is the people who insist those are legitimate phrases, somehow distinct from should have, could have and would have. Yes, I've seen it. Wanted to scoop my brain out through my eye socket.
pgajria ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That insistence drives me crazy. I've seen it as well; from people with Master's degrees.
Brod24 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:19:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
also, mute points. I grit my teeth when there are mute points.
I'm confused because /u/Brod24 was clearly pointing out how they hate it when someone misuses 'moot point'...
You know it is actually moot point right? And it's exactly like what the ents have. It literally means a point that is to be debated in a moot, and has been hijacked to also mean a point not worth discussing.
My old boss did this shit and it always made me think less of her.
pgajria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As you should have.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I type how I talk and this was one hell of a habit to break. I kept using of when typing because I would use the contraction when talking. To solve this I just started pronouncing 'have' when I talk.
pgajria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a very admirable approach to solving the problem.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, "prolly" for probably. Gun to their heads.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's silly. It's just a shortening, people say it, if they wish to express it as such; why get so angry?
pgajria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this when I'm completely tired and semi drunk. Inexcusable but it's happened by my hand too.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:00:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pgajria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/circlejerk is a bunch of people acting out what they hate for the sole purpose of getting karma out of context for doing the exact things that they despise. What?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:09:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WE DID IT REDDIT!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:37:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All over ur mom. huuuuh-huh
valvilis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too thanks.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tallest9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
update on inbox pls
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Inbox is:
โ Not REKT
โ REKT
โ REKTangle
โ SHREKT
โ REKT-it Ralph
โ Total REKTall
โ The Lord of the REKT
โ The Usual SusREKTs
โ North by NorthREKT
โ REKT to the Future
โ Once Upon a Time in the REKT
โ The Good, the Bad, and the REKT
โ LawREKT of Arabia
โ Tyrannosaurus REKT
โ eREKTile dysfunction
Alright, now the gold comment up top is actually my top comment. They recently changed capping and scores are running higher, so not too surprising. I'm sure it won't stay my top comment for too long.
Lyktan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never got this. If your inbox is getting a lot of messages, then its alive. If it had no activity then it would be dead and then its appropriate to say RIP.
NAN001 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
tjobarow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's it, it's just a face with a smile and squint basically. Its just so exclusively used by 15 year olds and lower that im programmed to think the same about everyone.
It just has an air of doucheness I cannot explain.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RIP op's inbox lolz
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What makes you think that someone who writes a harmless little sentence like that has to be living a socially isolated, deluded life? If you make such huge assumptions about people that quickly, then I'd hate to be around you.
Because you make an assumption that someone won't stop at that light and you don't get t-boned in an intersection.
verheyen ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 02:42:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does common sense and safe driving skills correlate to you being a cunt to someone online?
ponyswag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me it feels like they act as if it's their personal chat with some mates, and not a post on a forum with 10 mill subscribers, having their own discussions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See his username.
verheyen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Harsh downvotes. I do agree though. What is the big deal in saying things like "front page? Thanks!"
Reddit goes from bitching about peoples manners to being cunts in a heartbeat. This community is one of the most arbitrary I have ever seen.
It's not a "big deal" just because people are bitching about it online
verheyen ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A somewhat bigger than average deal then, smartarse. I am not comparing it to the holocaust, I just mean whenever these questions appear people love bitching about something such as 'Thanks for the gold' or 'thanks people for responding to my post enough that conversation ensues'.
Why do people feel the need to put others down for simply appreciating that someone took the time to recognise their input?
Yes, people like to bitch about shit that annoys them. We're doing it ourselves with these comments and its the whole point of the thread.
To me, those types of comments are usually vapid, unoriginal and reek of self-congratulation rather than appreciation. But we all do annoying shit. Why is it "putting people down" to say it annoys me when people make trite comments online?
It's just as petty to get so offended by people's complaining, so this is really a pot calling the kettle black situation here.
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 23:31:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
God that pisses me off so much. We care about the topic, you the poster are irrelevant to us. Stop cluttering the page by filling the top post with your useless drivel.
Jambi95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait...so I brought the cups for nothing?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL 'internet party'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or a telethon
tbss153 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:17:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but are they not doing just that?
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 23:16:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, since no one cares who created the post. Unless we're talking about one of those truly historic reddit posts, no one will ever remember OP's name. There's no point in acting like you're gaining renown in the community or some shit.
Also just the amount of shitposts, circlejerks, reposts and similar stuff that shows up on the front page makes it kind of silly to act like it's some kind of achievement to get there.
So basically, and correct me if i'm wrong, anyone getting excited about anything pisses people off. Joy must be terminated wherever it is found, because they are somehow being a prick for not understanding how little people think that they matter. I think i get it..
I think front-page posts are usually more like the party in Project X. You make a post in a small subreddit, people tell their friends, starts picking up speed, and then it hits the front page and everybody and their dog shows up. By that time, OP has completely lost containment and can only sit back and watch. If OP even dares to comment at that point, all the party-goers will see it as intent to regain some of that lost control, revolt, and downvote OP to hell.
There, however, some truly magnificent OPs that can handle the pressure and keep the post contained. And boy, do they ever rake in the comment karma.
You know what the worst part about this is? When people say this about an r/AskReddit post. They didn't do it for you, they just thought the question was interesting. Nothing more.
ROFLance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is worse, because he overwrote the actual comment that got him gold with the edit. Unless that's all it was to begin with...
OMG I had to read way to many comments under this before I understood what you were going for. I thought you actually edited to thank for the gold and edited out the original post. I was so confused trying to figure out what you didn't like. Man I'm slow today.
Eh, something like "Edit: Thank you!" seems okay to me. I'd want to thank someone who spent money on me. It's the "kind stranger" ones that make me cringe.
I'm not gold fishing, I'm saying what makes me dislike someone. In fact, it may even be better without gold, all the more reason for hate. I just wish so many people didn't downvote me because I did a good job at answering this question and now they hate me.
HD_ERR0R ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of editing and thanking, just PM the guy who gave you gold to thank them. Hate those people.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even worse than that is " edit: my top rated comment is about how I have my dog lick peanut butter off my asshole xD aha oh Reddit" literally no one cares about your top comment.
You know what? No. This frustrates the hell out of me. If some random stranger is going to spend their money on me, I find it incredibly rude not to say thank you. I'd do it in person, so why not on the internet too? What's so bad about thanking someone for doing something nice for you? The idea that its 'taboo' around here to edit and thank someone for their generosity is absolutely ridiculous.
I always send them a PM thanking them, you can do that even on anonymous gold.
DrxzzxrD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will be honest I spent a minute or two wondering why someone gave you golf for no reason/you over wrote your comment with the edit:xxxxx bit. I feel stupid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have an upvoat, good sir!
jsgunn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see this on every thread like this. What should a person who is guilded anonymously say?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One time some cop told a story about a mutilated baby he saw, I felt something inside me after reading that. Then I see... "Edit: Gold, for me?" Ruined it immensely.
The guy who gilded this saw it rising and found it a funny joke to confuse people about if I did or didn't actually edit my post. Judging by the comments, his joke worked.
ehwaywah ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:43:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol the lounge is a fuckin joke anyway. I got gold for some dumb comment I made and didn't know what the hell to do with it. Granted, I appreciate that somebody liked whatever I said enough to spend money, but my experience taught me that gold is way overrated
Edit: I GET IT. I spelt "this" wrong. You don't have to keep reminding me.
Edit: Leaving the typo back to how it originally was. I like it this way.
Yeah, I definitely agree with tihs.
Peentown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There should be an option to revoke the gold you have given, in case you accidentally give one of those twats gold.
Imagining them feeling shame and disappointment as they realize what happened and eventually regret their abysmal edit gives me pleasure. And it has the bonus effect of people finally learning to not do that anymore!
To be fair, I did nazi that coming. I came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you.
You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. This stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Circlejerk must be leaking.
This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle.
eTron000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
secopree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that someone gave you gold for this makes me really mad.
Gadarn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comes up every single time someone asks this question and I still don't get it.
It's just good manners to thank someone when they do something nice for you. Why do some people hate it when someone does the polite thing and thanks the person who spent some real money on them?
CGiMoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaaaand it's overused
OneAct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I ask why thanking someone for gilding is viewed negatively? Do you think they are bragging or what? I don't see why this rubs people the wrong way.
IAmGnome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when they add "obligatory". IT'S NOT FUCKING OBLIGATORY.
โข Touch base
โข Flesh it out
โข Itโs in my wheelhouse
โข It's on my radar
โข Low hanging fruit
โข Think outside the box
โข Positive momentum
โข On my plate
โข Run the numbers
โข Touch points
โข Get the ball rolling
โข Bang for your buck
โข Close the deal
โข When the rubber hits the road
โข Shift paradigm
โข Move the needle
โข Game-changing
โข Move the goal post
โข Value added
โข Win-win
โข All hands on deck
โข Synergy
at the end of the day, i think we just need to take this conversation offline and circle back. i'll put together a deck and we can jump on a call to argue about slide formatting for a couple hours.
Look, I want you to run with this. Really own it... but think about how we can increase mind-share with our target demo: Millennials. HAVE YOU EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT THE DELIVERABLES ARE?
I'd like a deep dive on this subject so we can have this issue brought to the table with baked-in information. If that's not good enough, we'll take it off line and do a drill down so push back is minimal. The focus should be robust!
hirjd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:16:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can we please just focus on the bottom line here people?
Let me know if you will be attending today's scrum meeting. The Scrum master wants to know if you are over allocated in case he needs to reassign tasks to hit all sprint goals.
saracuda ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:38:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How's our velocity doing? I'm looking at the burn down and it looks like we'll be hitting our release target for beta to client. Think you could point those feature stories for me so I can get an overview of the Video Feature epic?
Also, I need clarification on the scrum meeting. Daily Stand-Up, Sprint Review, Sprint Planning Meeting? I got like 10 meetings going on.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:23:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My deliverables aren't back from creative yet. I hate to bust their chops, but we need to strike while the iron is hot. This round of collateral should really nail it.
exelion ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:24:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love that Marketing has its own language, and that language literally has about 9000 words for "nothing".
Quarter one was good, but we need to raise the bar because we're raising the stakes. Our team needs to synergize better. I want our brand to really pop, so let's all have a little powwow.
Oh god, I now know why I was never able to make it in marketing!
frazaod ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:22:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a graphic designer at a design agency. Barring "make it go viral"--which is absolutely unforgivable if someone has actually said that to you--I got bombarded with these phrases every hour of every day. It's painful, but I got to draw tiny dicks on graphics that were used in Fortune 500 company websites, so it's ok.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I just say this? FUCK the corporate world and all of the meetings and phone calls and reviews and strategic planning and ALL OF IT. I find the people who use this kind of jargon are the most incompetent ones of them all.
Ugh my boss sent an email and was like "could management make sure this message is cascaded down to anyone I've missed?"
Cascaded down?
This isn't a waterfall
You really need to run it up the flag pole and see who salutes to the value added proposition. Then we can have an all hands on deck to get the ball rolling and show to get some stake holder buy in. Once we have that we can really monetize our assets.
Mukakis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:47:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it says something about my life that of all the comments I've seen on Reddit, this is the comment that made me openly laugh. I... I think it says something bad.
newloaf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:04:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We were just wondering the other day where the fuck the term 'deck' even came from in this context. Never used it at my old company. Where I work now, I'm pretty sure our project managers have a 6 use per day quota they need to hit.
jakemg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird, I've just started hearing this around the office in the past two years or so. For ten plus years before that, we just called it a PowerPoint. Now all the sudden someone wants me to send them "an updated deck."
Whenever somebody begins speaking with "At the end of the day..." my brain completes the sentence with "...the sun goes down" and I miss part of their little speech, providing me with another opportunity to fill in a blank. It's win-win.
fubo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious as I'm sitting on a call that was supposed to start 2 hours ago, but was pushed back 30 minutes because something wasn't ready, and then an hour after it was supposed to start for the second time it was pushed back another hour so the team could go get lunch...
EDIT: and now it's not happening at all today... so much for that roll out.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:31:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Way to skate ahead of the puck. Lets leverage our human capital to do some high level thinking and circle back in the am.
damn_dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All of my coworkers like to use the phrase "hop on a call" and so in my silent form of rebellion I do my absolute best to rephrase my entire email so I do not use that phrase.
RAAAAGE. WE ARE NOT EVEN ONLINE. WE ARE IN A ROOM TOGETHER RIGHT NOW. IN A MEETING != ONLINE. AL;KFDJASDL;FJKSADF;LKASDJFDSA
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I just want to send out a quick note. I want to get everyone together for some dialogue so we can make sure everybody is level set so we really know how to wrap our arms around this. If you don't think this is value added, please advise.
Haha, one of my bosses starts MANY of his sentences with "Look, at the end of the day..." and it cracks me up. He definitely has buzzwords he likes to use. A couple people around the office like to try to introduce new buzzwords during meetings and see which ones stick.
creathir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So moving forward, I'll reach out to our stakeholders and circle back with you on any traction we get on the value-adds. Either way, our next steps will be taking care of the low hanging fruit and getting easy wins that we can present back to the business.
And oh my god there's this one guy that says "net-net" instead of "bottom line" which is an antiquated financial term turned corp speak and now his entire team parrots that shit. All I hear is "SO. The net-net is" "the net-net is" "anyways, the net-net is"
I fucking hate corporate speak. Just talk like normal people, goddamn it!
Buckwhal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SubredditSimulator is that you?!?
jseego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
UGGGGGGGHHH
barto5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
at the end of the day
Came here looking for that.
Dalisca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, you just described my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I...I think you guys must work with me...
jaxxon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear you. At the end of the day, it is what it is. I've got back to back meetings but send me and invite and we can iron out the details. The initiative we are working on will be a real game changer. This is gonna move the needle big time. Totally disruptive.
I had a boss once who did not get idioms. One of my favorites of his was "The horse won't drink the water! The horse is an asshole!" (You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least he wasn't beating off a dead horse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funny story, it never occurred to me what "beat around the bush" meant until I was like 17. It wasn't until one day I was daydreaming in class having some shower thoughts that it clicked. I then realized that since I was like 10 I had been saying this in various formal settings directly to teachers, parents, girlfriends family, etc. I was mortified.
It doesn't mean/ originate from what you think it does. It relates to flushing birds out of cover. This is a prelude to the shooting, which is the main event.
Macfrogg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:55:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure it refers to the act of beating; hitting bushes with sticks to scare birds into the air so they can be shot. No point beating around the bush.
Imagine you are a teenager pre-internet porn. Imagine your hot neighbor is changing and their window curtains are open. Imagine there are bushes outside their window...
Listen, you ungrateful bastards, when you're face to face with a stinky turd situation, and you need a stinky turd intervention, you're gonna come crawling, begging for some of my stinky turd ideas.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:00:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm using this one. You flush (away the bad ideas) then flesh (out the good ones).
Which in this metaphor is... Also poop. I guess. Which you are then grafting human skin and organs onto. Because business and maximum synergistic parallel co-delivery infrastructure to facilitate optimum cross-stakeholder returns?
I wish I could give you gold for this comment. I'm going to scream "motherfucker we're not hunting quail!" in my next update meeting when someone says "flush it out"
dunaja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you understand. Steve clogged the toilet again.
I always interpreted it as you're flushing the good idea/heart of the matter/etc out of hiding, like a bird dog flushing out a bird during a hunt. Alway seemed like a relatively intuitive idiom to me.
TheSTEF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
flesh meaning meat... you're adding more detail/more meat to something, like an outline, description or idea.
Ha no I get it, I just think both phrases make sense. They're just entirely different idioms based on totally different imagery that mean marginally similar (if not exactly equivalent) things.
Webster's thoughts...to me, a lot of the time when you "flesh out" the idea you also "flush out" the truth of what you're getting at.
I know "flesh it out" and had never encountered the 'flush it out' mispronunciation so my mind immediately went 'POO! their ideas are poo and they are flushing them away cackle'
hchan1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably played too much WC3.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Flesh it out is definitely sexual
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also read The Oatmeal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh thank god.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a couple of my old (black) partners at a shop I worked at used to say "fleece it out". also he'd say "blasรฉ blasรฉ" instead of "blah blah blah"
it was infuriating, but whatever, he was a good guy.
edit- also, "choppin' it up" = "chillin' and having conversation with someone"
BAMspek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell does flesh it out mean? It sounds brutal.
but i think the actual phrase is supposed to be "flush it out," as an analogy to driving out game to see what's available. "Flesh it out" just doesn't make sense unless we're like Dr. Frankenstein or Reanimator or something.
tucci007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WE'RE NOT AT AN EMERGENCY EYE WASHING STATION SUCH AS THOSE FOUND IN LABORATORIES!!!
Oh god. Similarly, I had a district manager who said "physical year" instead of "fiscal year". He already hated me, so I could never say anything about it, and everyone else didn't notice/was too afraid to say anything. Fucking rage inducing!
I hate when people say shit wrong. "Chester drawers" instead of "chest of drawers" "sh/could of" instead of "sh/could have" "you're not the boss of me" when clearly I am...
I mean, there' is a "flush it out," which I associate with driving something out of hiding. You might flush a fugitive out of hiding. On the other hand, you "flesh out" something if it needs more detail. If you come up with a good bare-bones idea in a brainstorming session, you'll want to flesh it out later.
Msshadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to use this in my next human performance meeting.
You can also flush something out to "clarify" as in smooth out a board to "make flush" or according to Merriam-Webster to clarify figuratively as in "flush out the truth"
Opset ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Flush it out' could work perfectly well, too, though. When you're building something and you want all the pieces to be even or 'flush'. It could mean you want everything to be level, done, complete, etc.
speteman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Both sayings are correct. Use flesh it out when you have the bones of the idea already in place but it needs to be "fleshed out" or put "meat on the bones." Use flush it out when you want to work through a situation and want to get everything discussed or cleared out.
Source: I looked it up once trying to figure out which was correct.
I went to a meeting/conference thing, where they gave us a big piece of paper and colored markers/vivids/textas and asked us to have an 'idea shower about (insert inane strategy)'. We were a but confused, 'you mean, brain storm?'
"Well, storm has negative connotations, so we prefer idea shower. We would like to empower your creativity."
-_-
Pantsie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OH MY GOODNESS YES. A former boss used to talk about "flushing out" ideas all the time and every single time I involuntarily pictured a bunch of idea-birds frantically flapping away as he chased them down.
This was oddly not unlike what actually happened to ideas when they got around him.
I get that with 'we have a lot of projects COMING DOWN THE PIKE'. I've always known it as COMING DOWN THE PIPE. Which to me makes a hell of a lot more sense, cause a pipe has a finite about of shit it can handle and a pike just has cars and trucks on it.
Just wanted to touch base with you real quick and get the ball rolling on this new project. I'm heading the operation for this so I really want to add some positive momentum so that we can make this a win win when we close the deal.
Now as you know I have a lot on my plate but that doesn't mean I don't run the numbers! You are my top performer and believe me it's on my radar, you just memorize these touch points when the rubber hits the road and make sure to flesh it out so it sounds natural.
I think this project has what it takes to really move the needle buddy and this could very well be game-changing. I know it's common to grab some low hanging fruit to make things work but try to think outside the box!
Well hopefully you can shift some paradigms and move the goal post with this project carolinesavictim, we want to push that bang for your buck incentive. Usually I make the moves around here since it's in my wheelhouse but now you are in the drivers seat! It's all hands on deck right now! Remember! It's not value added unless it's synergy!!
Look, we don't have to boil the ocean here, and there are many ways to skin a cat, so can we parking lot this discussion and circle back during the next touch point?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:42:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call pretty much everyone buddy, and so do a lot of people I know. From my actual friends (Hey buddy, how's she going?), random people I accidentally bump into on the street (Oh sorry buddy, my bad), to jerks I'm being condescending to (Yeah okay buddy, whatever you say).
that's different. In US corporate culture it's soul sucking. I have a canadian friend who says it (that common?) and i feel nothing no ill will towards him...but put me in a suit and someone says it...i am going to die
Let's not boil the ocean here with that comment.
We're in the eleventh hour, time to bucketize your ideas into the appropriate silos.
Now let's accelerate our velocity and close the deal.
I felt the urge to translate this into normalspeak in case any managers were reading this and confused as to why it's being gilded.
Hello carolinesavictim,
I wanted to begin discussions on this new project, which I am leading and want to be successful. You are my most effective subordinate. You do well and present the material naturally. This project could be very important, and we must be creative as we make progress. You have the leading role and we need everyone's help, so it's important that everything work together.
Hey there carolinesavictim,
Just wanted to touch base with you real quick and get the ball rolling on this new project. I'm heading the operation for this so I really want to add some positive momentum so that we can make this a win win when we close the deal.
Now as you know I have a lot on my plate but that doesn't mean I don't run the numbers! You are my top performer and believe me it's on my radar, you just memorize these touch points when the rubber hits the road and make sure to flesh it out so it sounds natural.
I think this project has what it takes to really move the needle buddy and this could very well be game-changing. I know it's common to grab some low hanging fruit to make things work but try to think outside the box!
Well hopefully you can shift some paradigms and move the goal post with this project carolinesavictim, we want to push that bang for your buck incentive. Usually I make the moves around here since it's in my wheelhouse but now you are in the drivers seat! It's all hands on deck right now! Remember! It's not value added unless it's synergy!!
I've taken to responding to the cat one with, "I don't know. I've only ever done it the one way." When they laugh, I say "No seriously, I skinned a cat in high school." It was for anatomy and the cat was already dead, but do they really need to know that?
It always tickles me to say, "There's more than one way to skin a cat than choking it with butter!" Close enough that many people simply gloss over it. Silly enough that once in a while I get a slight smile.
dunaja ยท 838 points ยท Posted at 16:14:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an elementary school teacher who has never spent a day in the "corporate" world. When my principal asked my team to put some data together on a Google sheet, we titled it "Synergistic Management Solutions" (after the Cards Against Humanity card) because we think business-speak is absolutely hilarious.
[deleted] ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 17:39:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By being over qualified, helping out everyone and shutting the fuck up
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just got hired by Walmart and they had the same animations/artstyle for some of the training videos. It's kind of ironic, I guess, but I assume you can just hire the animator as a freelancer. So I suppose that was the point of the video, as it's common for businesses to use this kind of stuff.
Ir gets so irritating rather quickly. The worst part, in my opinion, is that "business speak" is kind of ingrained into your mind after a few. I can't receive a simple phone call outside of work without answering the call professionally.
"Hello, you've reached WallsofVon, What can I do for you?"
"uuum... WallsofVon, we we're gonna go to the bar, wanna tag?"
dunaja ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 18:23:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thanks for touching base. Going to the bar is definitely in my wheelhouse."
i am properly incentiveized for the paradigm shift that relocating my assets to a bar stool will bring.
DocMN ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:53:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just have to ping my core team to see if dinner is still on the road map for tonight. I'll circle back with you in 20 to touch base about the "getting shit faced" time frame.
More the latter. Apparently this term comes from baseball slang - it's the area within your strike zone where you can hit with the most power and control. And of course, it's the area of a boat where you steer the boat from.
I mentioned something about "touching base" to my manager at my last job and immediately apologized. She looked sort of bewildered by my apology, so I told her how I loathe corporate speak, and then it looked like a wire crossed in her brain before she realized how much she hated it as well but it was so commonplace in her day-to-day life at work that she didn't even realize when people said it anymore.
Yes. I spent about three weeks as a temp answering the phones because their automated system was down. I got so used to it that I started ending my spiel with, "And I, who am not an answering machine but a live human, will take your message." Eventually I got so smooth at saying that that they started waiting for the beep.
Hell my high school used a kind of "corporate speak." They wanted to "equip" us and other such useless phrases. Oooh are we building "leadership skills"????? TOO BAD YOU NEVER TELL US WHAT LEADERSHIP SKILLS ARE. TOO FUCKING BAD.
God yes. My daughter's school was telling me about their "culture of excellence". I asked if she would be having fun. They thought I was taking the piss, but my question was serious.
I work an office job and we're all pretty low-key; I too think corporate-speak is hilarious. But we've all got this one manager who doesn't seem to realize what a douchenozzle he is when he uses these terms intentionally, even trying to pioneer the new "buzzy" ones.
I mean, like a literal douchenozzle. Just squirting douche everywhere.
I love that you're an elementary school teacher who plays Cards Against Humanity. It's probably a particularly ugly game with you. You never suspect the 'good' people.
Christ, I took a leadership course in college and they loved the hell out of their 7 Habits book. Then again, most of the college faculty and management were Mormons, and a large portion of their student body as well, so a book written by a prominent Mormon and successful businessman would only be the logical choice for them to use.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:23:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm looking to energize my sales team over here, they're not too motivated, but it is what it is. Can you shoot that doc on over to me? I think this could really be a win-win.
Toni826 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But then it got shortened to SMS and only referred to that way because educators love acronyms!
QSquared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dunaja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you teach third grade, your team is all third grade teachers. If you teach art, you're with music and PE. All teachers have a team they work closely with.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fresh out of college doing web dev and my supervisor/coworker sort of guy is definitely a business guy first and a programmer second. He calls things pieces and deliverables a lot.. he's a chill guy but it drives me insane.
oi_rohe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The term deliverable makes sense to me, since there's a lot that goes into things that doesn't end up being part of the final, delivered product.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 15:36:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also forgot:
โข Turn-key
โข Plug-and-play
โข We donโt have the bandwidth (when not talking at all about the internet)
โข By way of housekeeping
โข Step up to the plate
โข Weโre eating our own dog food
โข Letโs put lipstick on this pig
โข Thatโs not our core competency
โข Weโre facing some headwinds there
โข Donโt lie on a grenade
โข Change agent
โข Anything aboutโ internal siloโ
โข We need to manage expectations
โข AND ANY DON DRAPER QUOTES NOT USED IRONICALLY
I guess I just hate all office speak. EVERYONE SHUT UP.
Its corporate bull shit speak that was created because actually saying whats going on is "negative" or "toxic". Let's put lipstick on this pig means....lets do what we can to make the most of a situation we completely and totally fucked up. Corporate jargon is literally another language....."the blank divisions teams are in information silo's creating significant communication blockers" = VP Greg whats his face sucks ass at his job.
dcux ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:39:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's internal politics. But I understood nearly every phrase in this thread. It doesn't really bother me. It's all shorthand for more complex communication. At least when used properly.
I will say that 'wheel house' and 'out of pocket' do annoy me. Because wtf does that even mean?
The wheelhouse is a place on a ship sheltered from the elements where the person can steer. It's like a comfort zone. It's also used in baseball to refer to the part of the strike zone where the batter likes the pitch. The circumstances under which they perform the best.
'Out of pocket' originally referred to expenses that you have to pay up front, and maybe get reimbursed for later. Now, for some stupid reason, shitheads have turned it into meaning 'unavailable' or 'incommunicado'
dcux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? I understand what those are supposed to mean, but they're so absolutely far removed from their original meanings as to be ridiculous. The rest of them at least are known and understandable analogies based around common language, many of them sports related.
To be honest, used properly and in context these can all make sense. The problem is that they are often used to hide the fact that you're not actually saying anything.
badibadi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about "The ask is...."? GAH!!!!
psiphre ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:54:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair, managing expectations is stupidly important :(
YRYGAV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're all important concepts.
That's why they are overused by managers trying to prove they are doing something important by using as many of the terms as possible.
psiphre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i don't know that i'd go that far. sticking to your core competencies, yeah. managing expectations... and stepping up to the plate when it's in your best interests.
but appropriated IT terms like, "plug and play, "don't have the bandwidth", "ping them about"... no.
maybe i'm just salty because i AM an IT guy. i dunno.
The reporting API roadmap is internally silo'd with the product team.
This shit comes from MBA programs and how they define different types of organizations and how they can be structured. Teams can be vertical or horizontal etc blah blah. A silo is a vertical structure with walls. So it's a metaphor for a "walled off team". Internal is unnecessary but silo can refer to a type of outside market being separated from another that seems like it would be a good fit. Example: "video has historically been silo'd from display media."
Turn-key and plug-and-play. what is wrong with those terms? I use them to describe systems. Its much easier to say turn key then to say this system requires no configuration and has an easy learning curve. or have people used it in a different context that is bad?
khyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I agree. Most of these sayings are good compressions; that's why they meme. A million people whose trade skill is "Business" wear them out on their co-workers who then let steam off on reddit.
In the case of advertising, it's the same reason we only have X brand of beer in the damn beer fridge. Or why all of us shop at the same grocery store.
jakemg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Last year, we brought a consultant in on an Internet banking project and in the meeting the project lead said, "We've brought Nick in to increase our bandwidth." I honestly thought he was going to update our network because we have legitimate bandwidth issues at some of our branches.
Nope. He was there to add metaphorical bandwidth to the project by taking on some tasks.
i_ANAL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is a non-business expression though? At least it is a common (proper) English expression :P
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:20:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's very common business speak in the UK and Ireland
i_ANAL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Heh I only recall hearing at school, never in business since. I don't think it really can be thought of as "business speak"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:56:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in marketing. Someone got promoted to a director-level job and in order to sound competent would hurl jargon around with wild abandon. She actually said we had to "synergize the relevancies" in a meeting once.
c_b0t ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:46:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago I worked for a VP of Marketing who was constantly using the phrase "slice of life." And there was a small group of us always snickering at her for over-using that term.
One day in a meeting, someone else used the phrase. Her response was "I'm not sure I understand what you mean by 'slice of life' here."
head explodes
Macfrogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you just focus on your core competencies and then we can see how the chips fall? Maybe in the morning we can circle back, get our game faces on and really close the loop on this.
Value added.
csm725 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad the marketing guys at my office don't talk like that.
But one of them does throw "the classic", "make it pop" "I'm not feeling it" and so forth around. And then when he tries to explain programming to clients...
Sweet merciful C'thulu, I almost punched a wall reading that. I had a boss who, when you heard him say that, you knew he had run out of thoughts but was just going to talk for 30 minutes anyway.
calidoc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:50:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is more of you working with people who don't understand the phrase and use it properly, rather than there being an issue with the phrase "value added". It's legit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bahaha, what a weird coincidence. we're having a sales rep training session all week this week. here's an example of the itinerary-
That's because MTG is the perfect definition of Synergy.
Yeah a 1/1 Elf with trample is kind of pointless.... Unless you're running an elf deck and cast Wirewood Pride and then that Defiant Elf is ready to ruin your opponent's day....
Finally someone says this. It's jargon. Jargon is not inherently bad, it's just shorthand for a complex but commonly encountered concept in a given field. Doctors have it, lawyers have it, every profession has it.
The difference in the business world is that there is no concrete definition for these terms...they are just helpful metaphors. So (dumb) people tend to repeat something "smart" that they heard without really understanding the context in which it was used. Sometimes when I hear these terms used appropriately I nod in vigorous agreement--but other times I have to scramble for the mute button on conference calls before I burst out laughing.
G_Morgan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:09:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with corporate speak is they always eventually learn what causes your internal eyes to start rolling and then change to newer but equality inane corporate speak.
It is a never ending contest between the English language and middle managers.
My boyfriend created a program that works with his email. The program gives each message a value based on how many workplace buzzwords that the message contains. The higher the value, the less attention he will pay to the email.
Haha he isn't charging for it, he works for a software company and just created it for fun. He's just passed out around to coworkers that were interested.
I've got a meeting this afternoon, chances are nobody will go cause the organiser isnt here, but if it happens, I'm gonna try and use every word in your list...
illigal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Switch it up for fun. We started using "low flying fruit". Or even " where the low flying fruit hits the road".
n0remack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DEM BUZZWORDS THO
NAD1A ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you need a vacation from the office. Almost said vacay but your forehead veins would've exploded.
Office speak is slowly driving me insane. I feel like every slide show deck I've been forced to sit through was made by people who just have a bag of corporate buzzwords they pick at random and string together to make impressive sounding sentences. You aren't saying anything!
Don't forget "in a holding pattern". No, it's fucking on hold. It's like we're suddenly so terrified to admit that we're not currently doing anything on a particular project that we have to pretend to be airplanes who haven't been cleared to land.
let's circle back on this, thought leader, "integrated solutions", "dynamic", let's hit this one out of the park, benchmarks, get your game faces on, implementation strategy, process improvement, high level/30k ft view, due diligence, client deliverables, run it up the flagpole, ASAP/EOD/EOW,leveraging best practices, results oriented, real time, client focused, core competency, KPI, metric analysis, "I'm wearing a lot of hats and don't have the bandwidth", scalability, drill down, sales funnel, sales pipeline, revenue focused, disruptive technology, the internet of things, corporate culture...
I get it. You have a masters and no applicable skills, so now you work in marketing/communications or HR and have somehow been promoted to a managerial or executive position and are trying really hard to hide the fact that you dream at night about losing teeth. Why don't you take that stupid motivational quote out of your email signature and maybe people will be more willing to buy the bullshit you're selling.
Settlers travelled across the US by wagon trains which were often attacked by Native Americans (who were probably just trying to protect their land). During these attacks the common defense for the wagon train was to encircle the attackers hoping to establish a crossfire scenario (since they were undoubtedly outgunned).
My old boss used to use it to mean "let's all drop everything and focus on this one problem until we solve it", but at the time it sounded a lot like your examples...
I don't work in advertising, but I do work in an office where management plays by the corporate handbook. I'm pretty sure I've heard most of these, and I hear new ones on an almost daily basis. This is the best way my bosses can get me to stop listening to them when they speak.
BINGO BINGO I GOT BINGO shift paradigm, value added, free space, low hanging fruit, re align woooot. But seriously we used to play buzz word BINGO at a gig I had a few years back when we had to sit on steering meeting calls because they wanted to get engineers input, apparently through osmosis because we where encouraged to " shut the fuck up " the entire time. We finnaly got off them when some one forgot to mute their mic and started yelling BINGO lol.
sir_mrej ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend (advertising) likes to converse with his friend (businessman) in buzz words just to piss me off. He is successful.
MuadD1b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Game changing is the worst. Has it changed the game? No. Then it's not fucking game changing. If I had a moose for everytime a reddit post described some breakthrough as game changing I would have enough moose to raise a fucking moose cavalry division, probably a whole corps actually.
wow thank you. I made a bingo out of it for my long conference calls. I added from the comments, "High-level", "don't have the bandwidth" and "It is what it is" to get enough filled in.
-eDgAR- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
touch base
I work in the same industry and I hated that I found myself saying that at the last office I worked at.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My job is to run the numbers, really I don't know what to say in it's place, Lets see if the numbers justify a business case is wordy and just as annoying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say about 40-50% of these at least once on a weekly-ish basis.
You... you just gave me really bad goosebumps. And creeps. And I'm feeling so uncomfortable right now argh
Whenever I hear someone say "low hanging fruit" or any of those buzz words in a very sincere and enthusiastic manner, my mind just goes blank and there's just this very high pitched tone
and I just fade
and
why
zylphite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anything mentioned in George Carlin's Modern Man bit.
It's like they're trying to trick us into finding them attractive.
"Oh, I don't want to be a dog. I want to be a man! I'd better just change my sexual preferences. Hell, I may even give going gay a shot."
Csantana ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:35:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always say "it's half past a monkeys ass and a quarter to his balls."
I don't know what the hell it means but my dad always said it and it has stuck with me
I just quickly say it offhandedly, and then i give them the real time. I feel it is kind of a necessity to say it nowadays, and i might as well get it out of the way
I always groan and roll my eyes and turn in a circle whenever someone says this, but I secretly love it because the other person gets a kick out of this lame joke too!
The joke is not amusing, but occasionally the reaction is.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a summer camp this summer and that was my go-to response to kids when they asked. partially because it makes me giggle and partially because it gave me time to acknowledge their question while getting my phone out to check the time.
kelbrina ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My stupid boyfriend does this to me literally every time I ask what time it is. I am never amused.
Taddare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has always been a granddad comment to me. Another of his favorites was if you asked him for a piece of bread, he would tear off a tiny corner and hand it over.
"You said you wanted a piece."
That man was a fountain of literal sarcasm.
Slobotic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hanging out with an unusually tall friend of mine and this guy we know comes by and says, "hey how's the weather up there?" Long silent stare... "Really?" "Uh, well you know, it was a joke." More awkward silence. "Oh." Some nodding of heads... Then I lose it and can't stop laughing.
whtrbt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use this joke at least twice a day because I'm a lifeguard and the kids are always asking me what time it is. Well, they used to; most of them have stopped trying by this point in the summer.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:12:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's different. Watch takes less than 1 second to check. It takes a while to pull out your phone, turn it on, look at it, then put it back in your pocket.
servimes ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:26:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only if they go through this terrible exchange each time.
reazura ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:55:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1 second of doing said ritual instead of having an accessory that weighs me down all day.. I'd take it that 1 second sacrifice. That's just me though.
mrt90 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:16:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It takes a while to pull out your phone, turn it on, look at it, then put it back in your pocket.
No it takes like half a second longer than checking your watch. And who walks around with a turned-off cellphone in their pocket.
rabiiiii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think he just meant activating the screen. And as a former cell phone checker turned watch wearer, no. It does take longer than a half second. Yeah maybe it's not that big of a deal but since I switched no way I'm going back. Plus watches are fly af
rabiiiii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Truth. I started wearing a watch again recently. Now I hate digging my phone out of my pocket just to find out the time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hipster or old guy?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:27:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I hate wearing watches. They're irritating to my wrists. Pocket watches are cool, but if you got one people would probably accuse you of being one of those "boys have swag, men have class" jackasses who think they're classy. Just tell me the time if you have a watch and don't be a dick about it.
322 is a meme from the Dota 2 community. It essentially means; intentionally throwing away your chances of winning a game. Why the number 322? It comes from when a professional player named 'Solo' intentionally lost a game to win money he had bet against himself. $322 is supposedly the amount of money he won for 'throwing' the game.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My response is just as bad, but more drawn out. When people ask me what time it is, I say 'One of.' When they ask 'One of what?' my response is to say 'One of the reasons you need a watch.'
I started doing this in 5th grade. Almost a decade later and it's just...I can't stop. It's not even a conscious reaction at this point.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:14:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes answer like that regardless of what the question was just to fuck with them a bit. "Which way is it to the train station?" "Time to get a watch"
Bohnanza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:32:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cujoslim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a guilty pleasure of any time someone says "I'm doin good" to day "No, you're doing well! Super heroes do good, you do well ;)." It's probably the most face punchable thing I do.
sammysfw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it needs to be legal to kick someone in the balls for saying that. Also "have some coffee with your sugar!" and "have a nice trip?" if you trip over something. I think of these jokes as "kick in the balls jokes" because that's what you deserve for making them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is when they just tell me where the clock is.
I'm asking, more likely than not because I can't read manual clocks.
That one is too widely used now. You gotta say "One of" and then the person responds, "One of what?" and you get to say "One of the reasons you need a watch" very triumphantly
This one is super played out, but one of my best friends from high school told me my favorite variation of it ever.
So it's back in middle school, he's waiting at a bus stop, when someone asks him what time it is. He rolls back his sleeve, to look at the watch he's drawn on his wrist. On clockface, there are no numbers, just the phrase "Time to Dance." He looks down at it, shows it to the other kid, and says "It's time to dance," and starts dancing at the bus stop. It was such a weirdo middle school moment that every time I imagine it I fuckin bust up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I haven't done this in so long. I actually think it's hilarious
I always say "its one of" and when they look at me like "da fuq U mean br0?ยฟ?ยฟ?" I say "ONE OF THE REASONS TO GET A FUCKING WATCH BUT YOU CANT GET ONE BECAUSE YOURE A HOMELESS METH ADDICT LOLOLOL"
PerogiXW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have an even more obnoxious version I do with my friends. They ask "What time is it?" and I say "Summertime" and then proceed to sing the rest of that song from High School Musical 2. It got old years ago and I still get a kick out of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This had been my answer probably 50% of the time for the past ten years.
I usually start singing that song by the Spin Doctors. "What time is it? 4:30. It's not late. Naw, naw! It's just earlay earlay!"
It's stupid. But it makes me laugh. And the other person usually just walks away to find a clock.
1 of...... 1 of the reasons you should get a watch!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does anybody really know what time it is?
ankensam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have been responding to that question like that for the past 3 years. My friends still forget how I answer until they've already asked the question. They hate me for it.
Older relatives constantly talk down to me with those two phrases - "wait until you get into the real world" ... "real life is much different than what you're doing now"
Excuse me, uncle shit-for-brains, but I happen to work two jobs, and go to school. Don't fucking tell me I'm not part of this so-called "real world"
What the fuck have I been living in? The Sims? The money I've earned and spent, was that some kind of in-game currency? Fuck off.
Bullshit terms like the "real world" and "real life", when used that way, are nothing more than cheap ways to belittle others, and make yourself feel more important.
Being at an earlier stage in life does not mean your experiences are not part of the real world.
I couldn't think of anything, or didn't really hate anything said above this comment. But after reading your comment, I completely agree with you. I actually hate when this is said to me.
tbss153 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:25:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
for me it did: i am 26 years old and have heard this countless times, but i never really identified it for what it was, and it was simply belittling. i have experienced a lot, and i acknowledge there are people younger than me that have experience twice as much.
It's always coupled with being told how your life is so much easier. Yeah getting paid at an inflation based lower wage while being obligated to take a small mortgage in student loan debt is so much easier isn't it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:52:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When boomers say this I rage.
If you have any 90+ year old family who are coherent ots epic to see boomers get shit down.
I'm going to be cranky for a while now just thinking about how often I hear this phrase.
mirpanda ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:08:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same! I worked before I went to college and then during. Bitch, I've been in the real world. Not every undergrad sucks on their parents teet until age 26. Most of the time this was said to me by grad students who thought they knew everything, and also talked about their parents cutting them off once they hit grad school... If I could only live in your "real world" you pretentious fucks.
You're my TA, that means you know more about this subject than me, not everything.
Bonolio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On my first day of my first job my boss said to me.
"Just remember there's no one around here smarter than you, just a whole lot of people that know more. Don't worry about it, it's the getting of the knowledge that's the fun bit".
Because you don't wake up at 5 am everyday, work all day, get home at 6 pm. Spend 3 hrs of housework. Then do the exact same thing the next day. It eats your soul.
I worked a fast food job and as a delivery/mail man for my campus while studying for a mechanical engineering degree. It sucked at times, I was stressed allot.
But it wasn't the same damn thing every day, realizing you're going to be doing this everyday for the rest of your life until you're on the deathbed. And I've got a decent job as an engineer, I can't imagine how the line workers here feel. I'm not saying you havnt met the real world, all I'm saying is you can't claim someone who has experienced something is incorrect when you have no experience yourself.
-Teki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad the NEETs got back to work.
acidvolt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:38:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you, but a few years ago I would have disagreed with you. As you progress in life, your opinion on different subjects changes a lot.
Now, for example in the comment about the "real world". I think it's being taken very literally. I believe " real world " is used as a metaphor for being older, as that brings about new responsibilities and worries which I and other individuals do not yet have.
I think it's part of being young to be more rebellious and dismissive of advice learned from experience as you are more hungry for evidence, at least I was. But at least for me, things changed a lot. I am the same person but hold much different ideals that only experience has taught me. Even ideals I disagreed with at some time.
I am still young, and don't consider myself to have entered a stage where I have overwhelming responsibility and concerns. However, I find it interesting that I can think back to all the few years I have lived and how experience changed my views on the world. This insight had made me a lot less dismissive and thoughtful of advice I may have been dismissive of before, especially from older individuals.
Right? If you're a college student, you are not really living in the real world. It's a safe protective place where you have far fewer responsibilities than when you're living on your own as an adult. You're not dealing with 401Ks and insurance policies and all that dreary crap that adults deal with. You're very likely living on a campus where you don't cook your own food or clean the bathroom. And that's part of what is so great about college: the lack of real responsibility. It's a transition period. And this applies even if you're working in college. I worked a couple of campus jobs through college to afford booze, and it's nothing like actually working 8-5 plus a commute 5 days a week. I've been out for a year, and the difference is massive.
I think your comment makes basic assumptions about what someone's student life was like. Some of us worked to pay bills and have health care and afford a place to live, not just part time work for luxury items.
And if you're going to ask why I didn't "change my life if the situation was so bad;" maybe it's because I wanted to have a career that made a difference, not just a clock to punch. That was me changing my life.
You can have a meaningful job after college and still hate the monotony of the working world. I like my job. We do good things for the world. But getting up early for a 25 minute commute every day is a drag, and barely seeing the sunlight in the winter is not much better.
Then if before you are on the cusp of uttering "real-life" or "real world" to someone, fuck off and either:
change your life circumstances
understand you made some bad life choices leading to your shitty unchangeable life.
Don't belittle someone else's life situation.
acidvolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's not the best phrase, but I think the words "real life" and "real world" were being taken way too literally.
Quillava ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand people who have no free time, or work 9 hours a day PLUS hours of housework. If your job and your life are so shitty, change it. If you don't want to change it, then obviously you're okay with it and its not that bad.
Tasgall ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:04:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If your job and your life are so shitty, change it.
Uh, usually people are in that situation because they're actively engaged in changing it. They're allowed to not like the process.
Or comfort zone, you know "ugh i hate this job but the stability it brings is good and imagine what a hassle would it be if i quit and search for another job etc."
Tasgall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or on the flip side, "Ugh, I really like my job, but if I want to move up I have to leave and go somewhere else, but then everything I like about it would be gone."
I don't understand people who have no free time, or work 9 hours a day PLUS hours of housework. If your job and your life are so shitty, change it. If you don't want to change it, then obviously you're okay with it and its not that bad.
I think this is exactly the kind of simplistic view that makes older adults spout this real-life, real-world shit, so youโre not fucking helping either.
Iโm fairly optimistic 23 year old with solid job, enough time and not many responsibilities but even I get that "changing your life" is a fucking process and not something youโll get done in freaking minutes. Especially if you werenโt born into the more fortunate circumstances. So get over yourself, youโre acting like an asshole.
Daekin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:05:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spend 3 hrs of housework. Then do the exact same thing the next day. It eats your soul.
What the fuck do you do to your house that takes you 3 hours to clean EVERY day?
I agree and hated this when I was younger. Now i hate when my mother says "When you have a house..." "When you have kids..." BUT mostly I just wanted to thank you for mentioning the Sims. Michael Phelps and I had a lovely home inside my computer for a time.
Ikniow ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 20:19:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't end after either of those. Now I get "when they're teenagers/grown..."
On the other hand, when my wife was pregnant we'd hear all the time "Once you have kids you'll have no time, no energy and no money". And we thought, yeah, it'll be a little tight on a single income and we'll have to organise our time well but that's not going to apply to us. But damn, they were right.
iltopop ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 21:36:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That shit doesn't fly when you get into the real world"
Ehh, I went to college. Classes aren't that hard. Fell asleep a lot in the post lunch classes. It flew.
drivec ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:03:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Part of growing up was learning that everyone is basically winging it.
I always thought when I was younger that there was this rigid machinery that ran the world like clockwork. After a municipal government internship, two part-time information technology jobs, and 5 years in college, I realized that Humanity is an ever-evolving network that functions more like an organism or an animal cell than a finely-tuned computer. Would've saved me a bit of stress if I figured this out when I was younger.
Years back, my dead beat uncle was crashing in my apartment for a few weeks and a few of the weekend nights I would get back from being out late or whatever. Anyways, I guess this cost him some beauty sleep or whatever because he decides to call me up all angry and yell about how I don't know what real life is like and once I grow up I will understand how hard it is (or something).
I guess life experience only comes from being a 50 year old dude doing loads of drugs and needing to crash on your 22 year old nieces couch. Anyways, he took off without warning and took a bunch of stuff with him. Oh well.
Yes, as opposed to all those fake jobs people have where they do fake work and make fake money for their fake bills.
sir_mrej ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 23:04:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are no real jobs. A job is whatever the fuck you want it to be. You wanna paint shitty watercolors and sell em for $5 under a bridge in Minneapolis? You go and do. If being in a cube and wearing a tie is a "real job", real jobs suck and no one should get them.
If being in a cube and wearing a tie is a "real job", real jobs suck and no one should get them.
What if the cube is transperant and I'm naked except for the tie? Avant Garde performance art!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:20:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I now have a sudden irrational desire to sell $5 watercolors under a bridge in Minneapolis...
sir_mrej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll come buy one next time I'm in town
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Minneapolitan here. Technically you would sell your shitty watercolors at the Megamall (Minnesotan for the Mall of America). There's no under-bridge market in these parts.
sir_mrej ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Minneapolitan
Minneapolitan? Really? That's a mouthful.
The mall's too mainstreeeeam maaaan.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it does have the kiosk where that one guy sells drawings and paintings.
sir_mrej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been to the mall only twice, both were short trips. So I'm really talking out of my ass.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's okay. It's exactly like every other mall, just larger.
sir_mrej ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:51:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember seeing some sort of roller coaster. That would lead me to believe it's at least a little different than other malls.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:11:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only insofar as it's indoors. But the rides are mainly patronized by tourists and small children. Which is not to impugn their motivation (who doesn't like an occasional ride?), but the Megamall isn't exactly the place to go for a few things. If you have your entire Christmas list to shop for and it's two days before Christmas, then yeah--go there. But if you just need a new pair of pants and a desk lamp, you are NOT gonna go deal with the traffic and the parking ramp and all the walking. (Point of trivia: each floor is over half a mile around.) And invariably, you end up parking on the opposite end of the mall from the store you want to go to, and you have to go down two floors and cut across the amusement park and then back up two floors...forget it. Quicker to just go to Rosedale.
You don't think its a little hypocritical that your whole point is not to "label" jobs as 'real', but then state that a cube and tie job suck and no one should get them?
sir_mrej ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I said "If", first of all. But yes I did imply that that sucks. Only because that's the generic "job" that is always thought of. Someone at a desk or in a cube wearing a tie. But you know that. You know that's the "default" and yet you decided to comment anyway to be snarky. You're right. If someone wants to do that, it's not sucky and they should totally do it. I have no problem with that.
But you know that. You know that's the "default" and yet you decided to comment anyway to be snarky.
Well, yeah. You've been here almost 3 years, it wouldn't be Reddit without many of the comments having some level of snarky.
That being said, you had to guess that you would be pissing of some people at a cube in a tie who might even be reading your comment while literally in their cube wearing a tie.
Like you said, I wouldn't disparage anyone who does something legal to provide for themselves or their family. But, the way of the US (and other countries like Japan, China, Most of Europe) is that a lot of work will be done in offices.
And trust me, as an office worker who aspires to be a stand up comedian, I can certainly understand the stigma. But some people actually enjoy their office digs...or at least the healthcare, 401k, high salary, break room, stock options, low/no long distance travel, etc.
But fuck ties. They feel like a noose, and I only put that shit on when I absolutely have to.
sir_mrej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yeah. You've been here almost 3 years, it wouldn't be Reddit without many of the comments having some level of snarky.
True :) Which is why it didn't really bother me that you said that. Reddit is Reddit.
healthcare, 401k, high salary
I've had an office job most of my life, for those reasons. I haven't been in a cube the whole time, or had to wear a tie ever. But yep, offices are the way of life for many people.
Would be nice to get paid to just fly around and visit landmarks and museums, converse with interesting people across the world, and eat exotic food...but if that was an actual "job", wouldn't most of us do that? :)
sir_mrej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aw man I so wish someone would pay me to do that.
ngroot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:28:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If being in a cube and wearing a tie is a "real job", real jobs suck and no one should get them.
I sit in a quasi-cube (open floor plan) and I wear a tie to my job most days even though I don't have to, because I have a fun tie collection. My job does not suck. Maybe you shouldn't get a cubicle-monkey job. :-)
sir_mrej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you're right. I don't know what kind of job I should get, even after being in the workforce for over a decade. I'll keep on searchin.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Replace real with professional if it makes you feel better. Or skilled labor job. Either or.
Sysad job comes with things like a salary, vacation, 401k, etc. More importantly, it comes with a career path. You start as a sysad, move up a few tiers, become an engineer, then senior engineer, architect or solution engineer, sr solution engineer, principal engineer, and so on. You can be become a director and can even work all the way up to a CTO.
At geek squad, the best you could hope for is a technical manager and that probably still has shitty pay, probably hourly, and the most basic of benefits.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:51:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is nothing "privileged" about having a career. It takes hard work, dedication, and sacrifices. Careers take DECADES to develope. The shit jobs you're defending are the ones where you can be replaced in an instant and require no skill, no experience, and no work ethic.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps elitist would describe your attitude better. There is not an infinite supply of "career jobs", we need people from all walks of life, there is no shame to be found in work you enjoy to do well. There is only shame for people who put the bar right below them, who mock others for their humbler ways of life.
The shit jobs you're defending are the ones where you can be replaced in an instant and require no skill, no experience, and no work ethic.
You'd tell that to your grandfather who worked in a factory? Would you tell that to your stay-at-home mom who worked part time as a grocery-bagger on the weekends? You sound like a middle class sub-urbanite who thinks life is only about advancement and ambition. You're probably a very hard worker, competent, and intelligent, but you sure as hell sound like you are morally bankrupt.
You can just call it elitism. Saying 'so called' implies that someone else is calling it elitist, and you are using their terminology, with some implication that you don't entirely agree with the term's use in this scenario.
And eh. I was a TA in college. Depsite putting a lot of liquor and Chick-fil-a in my mouth, I wouldn't call it a real job.
Damn those 1 percenters, with their "retirement planning" and "paid time off"!
Balmarog ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:33:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They used to say that shit to us in the Army all the time. "If you think this is tough wait 'til you get out there in the real world!" 3 years out and it's been a cakewalk compared to the previous 4.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:24:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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Balmarog ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:37:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually did learn a few nice tips from those ACAP courses as some dumb punk who enlisted at 18.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:27:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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Balmarog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah when you put it that way it does sound quite stupid. There were plenty of 30 and 40+ year olds in those classes and I'm sure some of them were in the same situation.
I mean, clearly this class is designed for the many people who join at 18 and do need help with all the bullshit one has to do in the adult civilian world.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I guess I understand the mandatory part of it because they're trying to do something good for a large number of people, and 18 year old shit heads have a habit of skipping optional meetings. But I understand your pain.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:58:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people who use "irl"
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:05:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
me_irl
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when refering to non Internet stuff. Internet is so integrated in our lives how is any of this not real life. I can get arrested for things i say online that put me in real life prison. This comment will be read by a real life person who knows it's typed by an other real life person who sent it to a site made by real life people on a device invented by real life people.
Fuck "irl" Internet is real life.
It's as much real life as receiving a letter is
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 21:49:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Today's old people have no idea how much the world is fucked for today's young people. I'm 33 and kind of managed to climb on board just as the ladders were coming up, but I empathize with you poor bastards who not only got the raw deal but also got a horde of angry old people who think that you're lazy entitled shits.
"Why do they need minimum wage to go up? When I was their age, minimum wage was $3.74 an hour and we liked it!" Thanks for proving the point. After all the inflation your generation has caused, it takes $18 to match the same purchasing power as your $3.74. So even $15 is underpaying according to your rubric.
"Well the kids these days have the iPhones and the Netflix and all those other things, so they shouldn't whine!" The march of technology is truly amazing, and we all are blessed with affordable access to the wonders of computer science. But the things which actually matter in life, like land, and education, have gone way way up in price without a commensurate raise in wages.
TL;DR Gramps put himself through college with a part time summer job at McDonald's, but thinks his grandson (who works two jobs year round) is only buried in debt because "he's lazy and thinks the world owes him good time for free".
Currently in the process of leaving academia and entering the 'real world.' So far my impression is that the 'real world' is different, but if anything it becomes more routine, but not necessarily harder.
All of that said, fuck those people, talking about the real world in a way to put you down is bullshit.
I'd like to add here that after going from High School and University to working a 9-5 job, working a full-time job is waaaaay, waaay fucking easier than school. Like, holy fuck, they're not even comparable. You can leave work at work. You're much better compensated. It's monumentally less stressful, at basically all times. How do people think their job is so difficult?
Maybe because "full time job" isn't a job, its a category? I work a full time job at a base level that has a huge amount of personal responsibility and liability and it's stressful as fuck.
Are you kidding me? School is easy. You study, don't fuck up tests, and drink like a sailor for four years. Your meals are paid for, you don't have to clean your own bathroom, and their are no real responsibilities or consequences.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:56:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Opposite for me. I wouldn't call myself the brightest, so I struggle a bit with little free time. Most of my schooling was done before 21 sadly. And I DO have to clean my own bathroom. It sucks.
And if your at home, chances are your parents are making dinner at least some of the time, and you're probably not paying rent. You probably aren't drunk usually, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's easier to study sober.
pouscat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:30:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was almost 30 and finally going after my bachelor's, I walked into my university's job assistance office to sign up for help with my resume. The office helper was obviously a very young undergrad work study girl. When I told her why I was there she started this spiel on the benefits of the program like I wasn't aware already. In the middle of her speech was the phrase "when you get out in the real world".
I think I can count on one hand the number of times I have gotten so angry that my lips went numb. This was one of those times. I was working 60 hour weeks that summer and going to school full time. She was not only wasting my time with this speech (I walked in with a specific request only to be given the grand tour) but she was insulting me at the same time!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:06:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're not in the "real world" until you're an old fart-bag that can condescendingly tell young'uns they're not in the real world.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 16:25:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
at an earlier stage in life does not mean your experiences are not part of the real world.
It means you lack perspective to properly understand your experiences. I worked a job to support myself since I was 14 and attended high school and then college. My perspective now, is far better developed than it was 30, 20, even 10 years ago.
When older folk say the real world, they are referring to the one they've come to understand through perspective you are currently lacking in. You are describing the shock of realizing that the way things are, the way things should be and the way things could be are very drastic and often distant things from one another. This is just one element of gaining a new perspective.
I'll let you know in another 10 years when I've come to understand this even better. I mean, its why I don't get all worked up about uber and stuff. Getting worked up is a young man's game, with too much energy and not enough outlet. But surely even now at my age I'm missing something. Like in WoW you don't just stop growing as a person once you reach LV60, one needs to accept that before LV60 there is a whole lot of grind and growth in between.
prezuiwf ยท 226 points ยท Posted at 17:26:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Just because you understand what it means doesn't make it a reasonable thing to say. I understand that when someone calls me a "fucking retard" they're saying I lack their enlightened perspective, but that doesn't make it not piss me off when people say it.
Using the "real life" phraseology is a way of devaluing all of a person's life experiences and insinuating that your experiences are more important or are the ones that matter. It also insinuates that age is the greatest informer of wisdom and that simply by virtue of being alive longer, you have carte blanche to criticize and feel superior when speaking with someone younger. I almost exclusively hear this phrasing from people who seem primarily interested in defending the legitimacy of their own position in life (eg. a person who believes he got to where he is entirely on his own and doesn't like to acknowledge the luck and help he had along the way). It's a way to shut down further conversation as age difference is indisputable whereas experiential difference is not and could potentially embarrass the elder person if the conversation goes below the surface. Oh, you graduated from a $4,000-a-year college in 1980, got a job at your dad's company and rose through the corporate ranks without ever having to interview for a job? Sounds like you must be a genius who has mastered the "real world," and who clearly has standing to call others lazy or not hardworking enough.
Additionally it assumes that the "real world" is one in which you get a job, buy a house, have kids, etc. Basically one of many life choices that exists, but that a person is eagerly attempting to convince you (and himself) is the only one that really matters, and that unless you follow in those exact footsteps your life has less worth. People following dreams other than that are labeled "slackers" or "dreamers" or any other connotation indicating they've yet to actually have "real lives." Anything that doesn't conform with the elder person's conception of what is good or useful is considered not part of "real life," and thus the "real life" phraseology is used as a catch-all to deride lifestyles on the pure basis that the elder person doesn't personally like them, or more to the point, hasn't experienced them and so dismisses them rather than having to admit he doesn't know all the answers.
But frankly more than all that is the fact that it's a complete dismissal of the person being spoken to. Their emotions, struggles, and experiences are, in one phrase, completely marginalized. It's a direct insult, and totally overshadows any legitimate point that's supposed to be made. It's designed to make the listener angry and make the speaker feel superior. No person genuinely trying to impart advice upon someone would ever belittle or insult them as a legitimate means of making their point. So it's pretty clear that regardless of whether you understand the meaning, it's reasonable to dislike someone who relies on this type of petty social positioning to boost their own ego.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah...you like that, you fucking retard?
reunity ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 19:37:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your current perspective is so important to you because its all you have right now. You probably thought you knew everything when you were in 5th grade but then you realized you were wrong. This goes for the people talking shit to you too.
Everything you said is valid but I guarantee you that you'll think you were a fucking dumb ass 10 years from now. Pretty much everyone I know agrees.
prezuiwf ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 20:30:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one's disagreeing with you. The difference is how it's framed. "I have life lessons to impart" vs. "I know more than you, dumbass."
braken ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:10:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But frankly more than all that is the fact that it's a complete dismissal of the person being spoken to. Their emotions, struggles, and experiences are, in one phrase, completely marginalized. It's a direct insult, and totally overshadows any legitimate point that's supposed to be made. It's designed to make the listener angry and make the speaker feel superior.
Once you get out into the "real world", you learn that "real" people just shrug this shit off. It doesn't matter what other people do say to you, if you know they're wrong. Ignore those people, or forever remain a victim. I think that you know that judging by your post, but still wanted to say it.
People shrug off all kinds of insults all the time. That doesn't make it okay to insult/belittle others. The person you're responding to is pointing out why "welcome to the real world" condescending and pretty worthless as an argument, in case someone thinks they're being helpful by saying it.
I made some upper-class 40 year old physically furious after a debate in which he also told me "welcome to the real world". It was said before a debate after I disregarded my first opposition since it wasn't entering his thick skull. He didn't want to think of my opposition. He just gave me a loud condescending laugh. His opinion was " I see no reason why you wouldn't have your ID". This is on July 4th. I actually tried giving him my reasons, but was muted consistently by his loud broadcasting voice.
I felt like I had taken the role of Socrates and had to argue with the dictator of North Korea. In short of that evening, if I were to describe him in a few words it would be: rude, obtuse, theatrical, and pretentious. Due to the fact that I was in his home (invited by his in-laws) I handled it as diplomatic as I could and should have. Here he was treating my behavior or maybe even my character as guilty which made no sense to me. I live in California and not carrying ID is not a crime. Eventually, I realized contrary evidence wouldn't work on him so I told him what he believed: So you believe that 100% of the time if someone leaves their home without ID, they are suspect to be considered criminals and/or have intentions to violate the law?
He gave me a blank "no" expression. So the heat died down, but then while I drank a friends beer, he still had his torso pointed at me and I figured I should ask a concluding question. I simply said "I don't understand why you would assume people guilty so quick, you've heard of innocent until proven guilty?". Although, when I asked this I was trying to express : hey see how much cooler it is if you don't act paranoid about others?
Usually I say, the real world junk. When I see people under the age of 20 whine about perfectly normal things in life. Things you'll have to encounter every day as you get older and the responsiblity starts to pile on. In a way, yes, it's my way of calling you a whiny pussy without actually calling you a whiny pussy. Call it belittlement all you want, it will only make me giggle when your back is turned.
[deleted] ยท -24 points ยท Posted at 17:39:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't disagree with anything you've said, but it only takes one post by baconsheikh to notice he has come by his dismissive perspective honestly.
Oh, you graduated from a $4,000-a-year college in 1980, got a job at your dad's company and rose through the corporate ranks without ever having to interview for a job? Sounds like you must be a genius who has mastered the "real world," and who clearly has standing to call others lazy or not hardworking enough,
Nope. I actually started at my job via a co-op internship. My family was poor. I haven't lived with my dad since I was a tot. I worked up slowly, working in all parts of the business and have developed my skills to remain relevant in 2015 so much that I fit in pretty well with the fresh interns coming in today. In fact, other than my obvious greys, you probably wouldn't even know how old I was, well at least until I opened my mouth. I'm not at that company today, but I'm in the same industry just doing bigger and better things. I've earned everything I have, and it was not handed to me on a silver platter. While I will admit I was pretty fortunate to make friends with good people and not let them down to get where I was, I chalk this up to well developed perspective at a young age. An exploit if you will , which supports my premise.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:09:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 22:31:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you think I appealed to seniority you've completely missed the point of what I've said.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:00:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: I have more experience than you so all your points are invalid!
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 00:59:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough I mean I read every post carefully and tried not to rag on people for missing my pointa completely I hope you can see how I was mistaken with respect to your post as I have a lot of people confusing the fact that I'm claiming my position solely from a position of seniority.
I still don't care what anyone says 20yos Generally are overwhemlmingly arrogant and have less to offer than they think they do. See it all the time in my business. Was one once 20 myself.
Yeah, but it's easy for you to be successful! You already put in all the work! /s
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 19:46:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL It was never easy.
You've got to be primed though to take best advantage of the opportunities you get though. Luckily I was, I learned a lot about adult life early because of my upbringing but I'd still love to kick 20yo me in the teeth. I thought I had it all figured out. It took me another 10 years to realize I still know almost nothing. It's probably the best damn lesson I've learned in my whole life.
Being ready, unlike the OP of this whole thread, to engage those that think differently than you is quite helpful in getting ahead in this world.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:16:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I'm much wiser than I was when I was 20. Aren't you?
If you remove from his comment the paragraph you quoted, it doesn't confuse the central argument that you would still have to respond to.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 21:45:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure why I bothered. I guess if just a few people can benefit from what I have to say then it was worth it. The people who don't want to hear it won't. They will either learn it some other way, or never at all. So it goes...
What I've learned today, is that people have some pretty radical ideas about what the 'real world' means! I guess I had forgotten this.
The problem is you linking perspective to age. Perspective comes through life experiance which is not always happening just because you are alive.
I'm reasonably young but I've got a perspective on par with or greater than people older than me. I started my career (software developer) right out of high school because I had 5 years of experiance doing everything from audio visual to microprocessor development to web design and several other things not worth listing. My job currently has me creating systems from scratch for Fortune 500 companies and I do everything from the architecture to the server to the client.
I know I have lots to learn still and I'm looking forward to it but you can't dismiss someones perspective as invalid just because its different from yours. You never know what life experiance someone else could have had which would not match up with their age.
If you want to still argue that my experiance is worthless and that age is the only defining factor, I'd love to hear your reasons.
While I agree with a lot of what you said, the white Western college age experience is an extremely narrow range when compared to the rest of the world (as the above link talks about), and by getting mad at a person who says this, you are belittling that person's experiences just as they are belittling yours. The real answer is to have a conversation about how you both feel, but feeling superior or getting annoyed and pissy doesn't make that happen.
Furthermore, perspective doesn't necessarily come with age. I know several people who are double my age, and wouldn't last a day without their financial lifelines (SO, inherited money/positions etc.). They would be entirely lost and helpless without such lifelines. Some perspective they must have, right?
When older folk, typically baby boomers, say the real world, they are referring to their world - because that is the only one that matters in their minds.
Understand that the term is bullshit.
Want to say that I lack perspective? Say it with those words - you may be right or wrong, but that is an entirely different debate. Don't insinuate that everybody younger than you lives in a fantasy world, and ONLY your generation has a grip on reality.
[deleted] ยท -22 points ยท Posted at 16:36:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You see, man I just tried to frame what your elders are saying it differently for you and you downvote it. This is how you treat people who are trying to help you grow as a person, you lack perspective. You are viewing what they are telling you all wrong, because of course your experiences are valid! They are just incomplete and no one is ever finished building them.
If i had a dollar for everything my old man was ever right about.... (edit: It would turn out I was far more successful than him, younger, very much because of his perspective, and the fact that I was willing to use it as I build out my life, I could have listened to him far more often than I did)
I know several people who are double my age, and wouldn't last a day without their financial lifelines (SO, inherited money/positions etc.).
Yeah me too like my mother. That doesn't mean she doesn't have perspective or valueable insight. Or that you even have any yourself.
When older folk, typically baby boomers, say the real world, they are referring to their world - because that is the only one that matters in their minds.
Yes their world in which they have a lot more experience that you, wether you care to admit it or not. That experience is worth something.
Understand that the term is bullshit.
Understand that if you are under 25 your brain is not yet fully developed. If you are under 30, you are just starting to gain full agency over your life. If you under 40, a family or exploring yourself to deeper levels. Understand that by 50, you may need to discard everything you thought you knew about yourself and others.
The fact that you are so cocksure about what perspective you have, puts you at your early 30s. You could be just past 25, but definitely under 35. Am I right?
Despite you trying to phrase it differently doesn't negate the fact that they are trying to imply their world is more "real" than BaconSheikh's.
I would say going to school and having two jobs is a very real perspective as to what the world is like. Now, if BaconSheikh was a basement dweller who did fuck all for a living, THEN his relatives would be more correct in talking about the "real world". As far as I see it, your age doesn't make you unable to exist in the "real world".
I have a mortgage and a full time job at 22, pretty sure I'm living in the real world, experience of the elders be damned.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:53:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
And here is where perspective comes in. Do you have any idea how many disgareements boil down to defensive semantics?
Like "real world" vs "perspective".
Yes, having a bad perspective on things is like living in a fantasy world. It's like wearing your sunglasses at night, a world that you see as real, is not the one that exists because your perspective filters input. The view you see through your polarized glasses is not the real world either.
I have a mortgage and a full time job at 22, pretty sure I'm living in the real world
Good for you, so did I. That doesn't mean that my perspective now is not better than it was back then. I had all sorts of crazy ideas about the world and how it worked, which empirically have proven false over the years. Some have proven true of course, we call these insights, but to suppose that a 22 year old person with a brain that is not fully developed physically, is going to have the same number or as good insights as someone who is 50 and has been through all of it before is a distinct lack of perspective.
I mean baconsheikh isn't even willing to entertain an alternative viewpoint here.
I believe the initial discussion was regarding his relatives talking down on him not living in the real world. Perspective has absolutely nothing to do with that. It's apples and oranges, sorry.
I do agree, however, that one's perspective does change as they grow older. I never once mentioned that I have the exact same insights as a 50 year old. I simply said that, due to my responsibilities, I AM living in the real world. Perspective has nothing to do with this particular discussion.
And yes, I am also fully aware my brain is not fully developed yet. However that still does not change the fact that I am living in the "real world".
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 17:13:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
And again you are stuck on a semantic argument which you dispatched with isolation logic.
Let's look at your thought process here:
Premise 1 : "Perspective has nothing to do with what world you are living in" --/u/polertalastut in paraphrase. (This is not a fact but a metaphysical argument, not a proper premise, lacks perspective on logic. I'll grant you this one for the though experiment only.
Premise 2: /u/polertalastut's brain is not fully developed. (fact -ed)
Premise 3: Premise 1 is true (granted to illustrate my point -ed) despite the fact that Premise 2 is also true and deemed a scientific fact. (If Premise 2 is true, how can Premise 1 be true? -ed)
Conclusion: Sum of all premise is that /u/poteryalastut has full perspective on the reality of his world (no filters, edit for clarity -ed).
However, because Premise 1 is not actually true, and because Premise 2 is definitely and provably true, and Premise 3 relies on Premise 1 and Premise 2 to both be true, you are actually using isolation (creating your own truth, and then determining your observations to be true based on that contrived truth).
Basically, slow clap yours is the most genuinely irrational post in terms of completeness and consideration I've read today.
I don't think I can take you seriously due to the continuous mistyping of my username. Especially with your fully developed brain and all.
However, your paraphrasing is completely and utterly wrong. It all depends what we define the "real world" as.
My perception of the real world that was used in the original comment is the following: supporting yourself without relying on anybody else.
Your perception of the real world in that comment may be different. It doesn't make me wrong.
You can slow clap all you want, whatever makes you feel better. :)
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 17:24:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you noticed did you? Does this still mean my advice has no bearing on reality?
Well because of your underdeveloped brain I imagine it does! You have not yet developed the ability to fully process conflicting information and feelings.
My perception of the real world that was used in the original comment is the following: supporting yourself without relying on anybody else.
My Perception / My perspective. Are you really this dense?
Your perception of the real world in that comment may be different. It doesn't make me wrong.
Of course you're not wrong, just have a weaker perspective. It's sort of like how a baby can't actually see their parent's faces that well for the first few months of their lives. That process continues naturally throughout your entire life. You just haven't realized you are still in it.
I don't know you, but I think you need a hug. I never once said that my perspective won't change as I grow older and develop further. But we are just going in circles now.
Have a great day, Mr. InTURRISting. (Note the correct spelling. I made that shit happen with my under-developed, baby fingers.)
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 17:31:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
I think you're missing the part where you used perception to describe their reality, and that everyone's reality is different yet we all experience the same base! It truly is all a matter of additional/different perspective to see the true reality (all colours of light, or the detail of our parent's faces, or abandoning of emotional filters).
I see we agree on a key point and I'm happy to leave it at that. I didn't mean to insult as part of illustrating my point. You too, and I hope some reflection on what I've said will help you reach new perspectives sooner.
These can give us great advantages over our peers!
Also no hugs required, I'm a super happy with my life and everyone in it! But thanks for being so considerate.
Also, I am guessing your age puts you in the baby boomer category. Suddenly, your mortgage and full time job at 22 many moons ago is no longer as impressive, with the prices being around 20% of where they're at now.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
20% interest baby! And no I'm an early Xer, thanks for playing!
Aww, not going to respond to my other comment? Dang, I was really enjoying this.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was just in progress don't worry poteryalastut, I will oblige, because unlike bacontwit, you are actually trying to discuss the issue at hand, which I've learned to respect over the years.
Heheh this has been fun. I am sure you have a far greater perspective than I do, and I hope to one day reach it. I like your thought process, despite the fact that we clashed.
Edit: I have officially joined the ranks of people arguing via the internet. I don't know whether I should rejoice or not.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:14:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stating that you have a better perspective does not mean that the world you live in is any realer for you than it is for any other human being in the world. Sure, you have a different perspective now than you did then. Everyone changes their perspectives a little bit every day. But it doesn't make anyone else's reality false. As a self-proclaimed person with better perspectives, you should know this.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love your thoughts, thanks for sharing. I'm glad you made the point you made, I'm surprised there was counter arguments from the young folks - and I'm one of them. I'm just 24. But you're right, with age comes experience and perspective. Period. There is a certain amount of wisdom that older people have that all younger people should respect in a humble manner. That's not so popular with us young people though.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:34:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I know I'm begging to be flamed, but I thought maybe an Internet Stranger with no skin in the game might be their only hope.
The best part is knowing even if you accept what I've said as true, it's putting it in to practice that is the challenge for personal growth. Your perspective doesn't change unless you want/need it to.
I'm 32 and his posts are pissing me off. I'd put him at no older than 25, but I bet it's more like 21/22.
By 30 I realized that my "I know everything... now kindly fuck off" attitude was wrong and holding me back. I had realized all of those things my elders had said to me turned out to be mostly spot on, and if I had shut up and listened I would have been further ahead in life than I currently was. Hell, I think it started to sink in around 25 and hit me fully by 28.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:05:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is precisely how I feel and I'm even older.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 24 and he seems really childish. I'd put him at 17-19.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Blizz310 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:30:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an aborted fetus, and I'd put him in the balls of a pre-pubertal boy
Bnal ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 18:50:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say no older than 18, and definitely not in university and working two jobs. I'm in university and working two jobs, and I don't have nearly the amount of energy it would take to write that.
His points may be sort of alright, but his anger and insistance on using six-dollar words in every sentence ruin their validity. It's clearly written with someone specific in mind, getting very detailed about who he's passive aggressively arguing at. It reminds me of that Askreddit for people 14 and under a few weeks ago.
I honestly think that you are the one who lacks perspective if you can confidently make such judgments without knowing jackshit about me.
Oh, and yes, I'm under 35, but so is 90% a sizeable portion of Reddit. Congrats, that was a real mystery.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it is your tact and the way in which you are responding to others that has revealed your age and quit frankly level of maturity. This is coming from someone who is 24 and living in the real world, who realized at an even younger age that I didn't know what the hell I was talking about and that it would be wise to listen to the adults around me who had been there, done that, and bought a souvenir.
[deleted] ยท -18 points ยท Posted at 17:14:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Want to say that I lack perspective? Say it with those words - you may be right or wrong, but that is an entirely different debate. Don't insinuate that everybody younger than you lives in a fantasy world, and ONLY your generation has a grip on reality.
No one is actually saying that, and that's what reveals you to be lacking in perspective and totally an adult, that we're no longer the boss of anymore.
Also nice Ninja Edit. Where were ninja edits back in the usenet days when we needed them?
And yes, almost everyone 18-30 lacks serious perspective on life and society around them. It's not just the decision you make, but how you talk and treat the people around you, and especially how you treat those who feel are lesser than you, like in this case your elders. It's okay chances are good you will come around one day, and you'll see what I'm talking about.
Or not, because you seem to take prescriptive advice like you take a taxi cab.
And yes, almost everyone 18-30 lacks serious perspective on life and society around them. It's not just the decision you make, but how you talk and treat the people around you, and especially how you treat those who feel are lesser than you, like in this case your elders.
I assume that you consider yourself an 'elder' (not overtly stated but insinuated) and that you have this perspective, but to agree with /u/curiouslifeform you're being quite defensive in these comments. From my perspective you took the parent comment, added your opinion, but then didn't attempt to even see eye to eye with anybody you are responding with.
You also appear to be talking down to many commenters who, from the way they speak, are likely younger than you; throwing metaphors at them in an attempt to obfuscate the conversation. This doesn't seem to be respectful and, given the condenscending tone you may or may not intentionally be using in the way you word your comments and occasional jabs ("because you seem to take prescriptive advice like you take a taxi cab"), makes it seem like you are a hypocrit.
I feel that you are not living up to your own definition of having perspective on the world. At the very least, you fail on having any perspective on trying to discuss topics on an online forum.
Anywho, rant aside, can you revist what you mean by 'perspective'? I'm wondering if you feel it's conditional for the context or just generalized perspective (ie. multiple viable perspectives or just one) and why you feel that those in the 18-30 age bracket lack 'serious perspective' even when achievements and landmarks in life were not mentioned.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 20:32:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I could respond to those points, but if in doing so I put myself in the 'defensive' category I won't bother. Just know that OP and I are from the same city and have crossed paths many times on Reddit. His original post set me off as 'not surprising'. Please understand there is my personal conversation with Bacon, and the one where I attempt to generalize for the purposes of discussion.
Anywho, rant aside, can you revist what you mean by 'perspective'?
I'm wondering if you feel it's conditional for the context or just generalized perspective (ie. multiple viable perspectives or just one)
I'm not entirely sure what you are asking but what I am saying is that we all experience reality differently so I would answer "multiple perspectives". It is our personal reality that his parents are obviously referring to when they say the 'real world' they are referring to their 'world' (or if you will the sum of their perspective). If you accept that we all experience reality differently (interpretively) it stands to reason there is a reality we are not experiencing. This is the reality we are blind to. The sum of which when added to our collective perspectives approaches something like reality....but wait we can't even see that because we are all blind to someone's reality. The fact that BaconSheikh does not realize he is blind to their concept of reality is very revealing. However, we cannot know what he is dismissed about- is he dismissed about his politics, religion, or his opinion on his curfew for example? We cannot know because he will not tell us.
why you feel that those in the 18-30 age bracket lack 'serious perspective'
However, the nature of perspective is that it is cumulative in most cases. it comes from exposure to uncomfortable ideas, opportunities, observations that can only come over time. Physically (in the brain), as a general rule of thumb adults do not really hit their stride, or maturity until after they are 25. This is actually backed up by neurological study / science, and of course, continuous example.
Just because you can buy a house and pay a bill doesn't mean you've gained mature perspective. To be honest, if we allowed it, a 12 year old could do these things. Achievements and landmarks are not watermarks of perspective, they can certainly bring it. The fact remains that being passable as an adult does not make one wise or even worth listening to (See Vincent Adultman).
Similarly just because you are adult does not mean you have perspective, (which can be gained as it is lost) but there are some key ideas/concepts that indicate for it.
Anyway I hope my response is perceived as genuine and not pompous.
It feels genuine, and I won't comment on you and Bacon crossing paths before because I feel like I don't want to open that can of worms; just gonna talk about stuff in this thread.
Anywho, I agree (for all intents and purposes) what you say about reality in your second paragraph except for the line:
The fact that BaconSheikh does not realize he is blind to their concept of reality is very revealing
I never picked up on Bacon being ignorant about anything. This comment and their parent one read, to me, as "we all have our own perspectives so stop saying that mine is a fantasy".
I also don't disagree that age is a good proxy measurement for perspective, although I am hesitant to suggest it's better than achievements (don't even know how we can debate which is more important and it seems redundant to do so), but in the end the original phrase of "real life/real world" in the context Bacon was describing was not comparing people's perspectives and trying to value them, it's just that Bacon's sentiment from what I understand is "don't shit all over what I believe".
That's why I think you're being targeted right now, because given that interpretation your first response started with "It means you lack perspective to properly understand your experiences" which pretty much just not only reads as an attempt to invalidate their experiences but also belittle their intelligence. It reads as "you're too young to understand what you see".
Thanks for the response anyways. I understand and respect your position on realities/perspectives but just had to give my input on how having our 'elders' attempt to value perspectives relative to each other and invalidate the perceived 'lesser' one is infuriating as hell.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:48:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No problem, no hard feelings.
I will submit though, "you're too [inexperienced] to understand what you see" is a very common problem that people have without realizing it at every level of existence.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:17:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
How can I please you? I hadn't realized I'd imposed upon your intellect by claiming precisely that I do not know everything (and neither do you or anyone else)!
That's right there is almost no one in this world but the truly and magnificently exceptional that knows what they are doing, and so far by official counts no one who knows everything. That is the entire crux of what I'm talking about here.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:20:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 18:27:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If your are saying that 18-30's treat people around them worse than older people, you are way off. I'm currently working a sales job, and it's the younger people that actually take the time to be polite, and on a level with us.
I didn't say that. Actually I can explain this: A deer in headlights is far more polite than a momma moose.
Also re the perspective thing, it makes no difference. Sure you are older than me, you have more life experience than me, I'm still living in the 'real world'.
Dude I read all that, just take off the sunglasses when you turn off the lights and you should be able to muddle your way through life with that perspective.
Your first paragraph shows that you do not understand why older people act as if they are above you, what motivates them and what their exploits (some call this "love languages" are. You could be a better salesman if you explore what I'm talking about.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:42:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A deer in headlights is far more polite than a momma moose.
you are one arrogant and presumptuous son of a bitch. In all your years you haven't learned sensitivity or humility. You haven't learned how to communicate with people or how to share your knowledge without coming across as a jackass. So why would anyone take your "experienced" perspective seriously at all? Yea man all people younger than 30 are just deer in the headlights. GTFO dick head. You are one grumpy fuck-ass.
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 18:45:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's a metaphor that politeness and respect does not equal perspective. (edit: It works especially because a deer in headlights cannot see it's surroundings fully. A moose will not stand in the middle of the road trying to negotiate with the light, it will scramble due to its perspective on the threat.) I see that I'm talking to a deer, and I'll just gently swerve to avoid you, as usual.
It's still the moose I'm more worried about messing with.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:39:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're sitting here replying to everyone seemingly without getting riled up and we are - maybe that makes you feel more mature. But what you ARE doing is being a cool/collected and superior dickhead and pissing everyone off. Not very mature.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:47:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
superior dickhead and pissing everyone off. Not very mature.
This is like my daughter telling me I don't understand High School.
maybe that makes you feel more mature
No, but it sure demonstrates it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you can't split apart the two parts of what I said and dismiss them separately. you are acting cool (makes you feel mature) but in reality you are just being superior and pissing people off (not mature) Get it now? Being cool and collected (although also superior fuck) doesn't demonstrate maturity BECAUSE of the rest of the story (pissing people off).
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:57:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure I'm not just superior? How can you tell?
Perspective.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:05:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A person with as much perspective and experience and wisdom as you claim to have would have been able to tell the original commenter that "yes its true old fucks shouldn't treat younger people dismissively but the truth is that younger people don't listen well and older people are not always mature enough or wise enough to communicate in a way that young people will be receptive to"
I'd imagine if you had acknowledged the partial truth of what he said then he'd have acknowledged the partial truth in what you had to say. But you don't have the perspective to know that communicating with people (esp when you're trying to teach them something) usually requires you to demonstrate the empathetic understanding they seek.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was empathetic with him. I'm sorry you didn't feel that I was.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if yall have crossed paths many times on reddit it's understandable he might not perceive your empathy. But it wasn't apparent to me either. And I'm a relatively objective bystander (at first) in this situation because I didn't know either of you or have any strong feelings either way other than I did relate (have empathy) towards what he said. You clearly did not because you just told him he was wrong without acknowledging the truth in what he said (overly dismissive old fucks).
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I chose to empathize with the idea that I was once in his shoes. ( I'm less focused on his elders, which of course will be dismissive! from their perspective this guy is just impossible to discuss anything with!)
A moose will not stand in the middle of the road trying to negotiate with the light, it will scramble due to its perspective on the threat.
That's a terrible metaphor.
A moose would charge at the light and try to threaten it, because it believes itself to be bigger and stronger than it. It believes that it is superior.
Of course, the only reason the moose even reacts that way is because the moose is afraid of the light; it's different and new - it's something the moose hasn't experienced before in its life. Obviously this fact makes the light dangerous and wrong. Back in the moose's day, we didn't have artificial lights. When the big yellow circle went behind the mountains and the trees got harder to see, we just walked slower. We didn't need these new 'technologies' like small white circles!
You seem very defensive of your position that "I've seen more things than you have" makes you better than other people. Are you afraid that you're a moose who's being left behind because your life experiences have less value now than they did at the time?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. Not my experience with moose in the bush, but no worries! I used a light to defend myself when I found myself face to face in the bush with a Momma and her young carrying a bunch of fish back to camp. They most certainly did not charge at me and actually relocated to avoid it. Either way it was a quip just to show that two animals have two different reactions to the same threat, and that one will act wiser than the other based on those perspectives. The moose would also be right to dismiss the deer's perspective if they could discuss it.
You seem very defensive of your position that "I've seen more things than you have" makes you better than other people.
Please don't personalize my generalities. I am not better than most people, but I have seen a lot more than those half my age, and I have a lot of good perspective to offer someone who is lacking.
Are you afraid that you're a moose who's being left behind because your life experiences have less value now than they did at the time?
What is this Dr. Phil?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:35:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cannot see it's surroundings fully
sounds like you. You're not listening to anybody responding to you -everyone responding is reacting very negatively to the way you are expressing yourself.
It's a metaphor that politeness and respect does not equal perspective.
yea well being a know-it-all isn't a sign of someone with perspective either
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 19:40:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not true at all, actually what I'm saying is very controversial with huge swings either way. Which is about right since Reddit's median age is 35. I've had some nice conversations with people who were curious about what I was saying, as well quite a number of people telling me I'm bang on.
yea well being a know-it-all isn't a sign of someone with perspective either
That is a terrible riposte.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:57:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been through the whole comments section. The couple of people that agree with you (no huge swings in both directions) are just unaware (or refusing to acknowledge) that the problem the original commenter had was with older people completely dismissing his perspective. You act like it is justified. It is never justified. People feel the way they do for a reason and you cannot invalidate that simply because you have different experiences.
That is a terrible riposte
lol its kind of a riposte I guess - but its also a valid point. Your little "That is a terrible riposte" is a terrible riposte in itself and NOT a valid point because it's point was to invalidate my point which is still valid though being a riposte. Fuck you.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:00:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been through the whole comments section. The couple of people that agree with you (no huge swings in both directions) are just unaware (or refusing to acknowledge) that the problem the original commenter had was with older people completely dismissing his perspective.
Do you have knowledge that there is a specific perspective the OP had that required attention rather than dismissal? Because the OP has demonstrated exactly nowhere on reddit the kind of maturity required to engage in viewpoints contrary to his own.
A riposte is a direct response to an insult. I dismissed your insult, with no response which means it is not a riposte. Parry / Riposte not the same thing.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:11:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The thing is that your parry didn't adequately ward off my attack (the point I was trying to make). So it falls into being a dismissive riposte because I actually made a point and you tried to dismiss the thing I said as merely a a quick clever reply to an insult or criticism (riposte). My point was that although you are acting superior and telling everyone how they are wrong (being a know-it-all) you are not demonstrating that you have a mature perspective because you can't do it without being a dickhead and pissing everyone off.
Edit:
I dismissed your insult, with no response which means it is not a riposte.
You did not adequately dismiss my insult (really more of a criticism worded meanly) and you didn't do it with "no response": your response to what I said (you even quoted me to show me exactly what you were responding to) was to call my point a riposte - which I have shown is untrue (I had a valid point and communicated it well enough).
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
telling everyone how they are wrong
You called me a know-it-all because I insulted your sensibilities. I dismissed your riposte by not addressing it with another attack. Did I insult you by calling it a terrible riposte? I mean it was lazy, but are you a lazy person? Probably not. You've come this far.
My point was that although you are acting superior and telling everyone how they are wron
No one is wrong, well unless you truly believe a 20 year old more often than not, has more perspective of life than say someone twice their age.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comment just seems like you are having some error-cannot-compute troubles in your brain.
I called you a know-it-all because that's what you were acting like. You probably did offend my sensibilities but that is not why I called you a know-it-all.
I dismissed your riposte by not addressing it with another attack. Did I insult you by calling it a terrible riposte? I mean it was lazy, but are you a lazy person?
lol calling my point a riposte IS an attack (and as I've pointed out you even quoted me to show me exactly what you were addressing)
No one is wrong, well unless you truly believe a 20 year old more often than not, has more perspective of life than say someone twice their age.
jeesus dude - I never said I think a 20 year old has more perspective. Just that their feelings are valid and that young people do have some perspective.
You are wrong though - because you still have yet to acknowledge that old people tend to be overly dismissive of young people's perspective. Its not that we have to ignore that old people have more perspective. But that doesn't mean we have to be dismissive of young people. If you don't take young people seriously then they don't listen. Simple fact. Only the mature will listen even when someone is being a dismissive prick.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol calling my point a riposte IS an attack
No it isn't.
jeesus dude - I never said I think a 20 year old has more perspective. Just that their feelings are valid and that young people do have some perspective.
I apologize for this statement breaking your brain. I never accused you of saying this. I said no one is wrong unless you truly believe....ergo you are not wrong.
You are wrong though - because you still have yet to acknowledge that old people tend to be overly dismissive of young people's perspective.
I've only suggested that adults are dismissive often with good reason. But next time I need minecraft modding advice I'll be sure to ask my kids.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But next time I need minecraft modding advice I'll be sure to ask my kids.
cuz that's the only thing youth can offer ;)
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a joke, but there was that young whippersnapper in my city who reinvented the biodegradable plastic bag.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Because the OP has demonstrated exactly nowhere on reddit the kind of maturity required to engage in viewpoints contrary to his own.
The thing is I only saw how you reacted to his comment - not all of his actions on reddit. I have some empathy for the way he feels about the way old people completely dismiss young people. Often times old people, being out of touch, are actually lacking in perspective in their own way. I allow them that and listen to what they have to say. As a general rule they do not reciprocate. So he had a valid point as far as I could tell and it doesn't matter what the rest of his actions/behavior was on reddit.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have knowledge that there is a specific perspective the OP had that required attention rather than dismissal?
Yes and I have mentioned it twice at least which just shows that you haven't been listening to what I've said lol.
His point was that he hates it when older people tell him he's not in the real world. Though they may have a point about him lacking some measure of perspective they choose to tell him in a way that suggests none of the perspective he does have means anything - which just isn't true. He hates the overly dismissive attitude. A mentor/father figure of mine is always telling me that my actions and reactions are indicative of youth/immaturity. But he communicates it in way where he expresses the specifics of his vast experience that give him greater perspective. And he always says something to the extent of "I can see why you feel that way . . . " to validate my feelings. He is way more mature than you'll ever be most likely.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
His point was that he hates it when older people tell him he's not in the real world. Though they may have a point about him lacking some measure of perspective they choose to tell him in a way that suggests none of the perspective he does have means anything - which just isn't true.
Oh no I read your posts fully, I just think you are reading between the lines of a pretty standard, wah my family elders don't listen to me rant. I mean for all you know he could have a screw loose?
Furthermore notice how conciliatory my posts were until I started receiving insults. I do very much understand where he is coming from.... I was 20 and full of piss and vinegar once too.
Anyway your mentor is pretty damn good, I'm glad you listen(ed) to them. I just wonder what they would think of this post
At any rate no one of is perfect and your candor improved greatly, so I'm willing to forget.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:54:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just think you are reading between the lines of a pretty standard, wah my family elders don't listen to me rant.
Here is something he said to you in response to your very first comment (which was in direct response to his original comment):
"Want to say that I lack perspective? Say it with those words - you may be right or wrong, but that is an entirely different debate. Don't insinuate that everybody younger than you lives in a fantasy world, and ONLY your generation has a grip on reality."
I'm not reading between the lines. He understands that the thing here is that old people are being overly dismissive. Some dismissive-ness would be acceptable, I guess, but the kind of thing he mentioned that he hates specifically is too dismissive.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't insinuate that everybody younger than you lives in a fantasy world
I clearly stated multiple times that everyone lives in a fantasy world of our own creation, and that old people are dismissive of him naturally because we all view practical reality instead of the world as it truly is. I explained the reasoning why they are distrustful, dismissive, and why it is not entirely unreasonable. (If not honestly based on his own examples). I'm sure you also missed the part where he is off trolling people who don't agree with him politically day to day on here.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:02:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if that's the case then I hope people troll him right back.
Anyway its crazy to have such lengthy engagement with someone on reddit; so whatever the end of all of this thanks for not being a casual. In other words even though we've disagreed I have had a measure of enjoyment. I should probably stop calling people names though . . . but I'm young and immature and it feels good sometimes ;)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:05:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats cool I understand. I'm in middle age and I still love a good name calling I have a long way to go- even if I think I understand the nature of the problem.
Thanks for not being a filthy casual either!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At any rate no one of is perfect and your candor improved greatly, so I'm willing to forget.
And yet your candor, even here, is that of a superior know-it-all fuck-ass ;)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:00:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're outside and you find yourself suddenly soaked, it could be some asshole with a bucket, or it could just be raining. :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet it was the asshole with the bucket - he's always hiding around the corner in wait.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:06:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think something to mention here I have noticed that goes along with this is that the opposite happens as well. As we age though we gain more perspective on the larger things in life we also begin to forget the day to day struggles of our younger self. Everything is relative. If you are a 6 year old kid and your favorite thing is Ninja Turtles and your best friend in the world is Steve and one day Steve tells you he thinks Ninja Turtles suck and laughs at you and all the other kids laugh at you, this could literally be the worst thing that has ever happened to you and when adults say in a week or two no one will remember that happened well that is close to 1% of your entire cognitive life.
There will always be shit to get worked up over that won't matter at all 10 years down the line... but that doesn't mean it doesn't matter now.
I will say though it is one thing to dismiss someone's problems because they don't live in the "real world" it is something else entirely when some shit thinks they have all the answers when they don't have the wisdom that comes with age that they are full of shit.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Are we talking though of dismissing someone's problems? or Dismissing their opinions? based on lack of perspective.
The first I would agree is reprehensible! I mean unless of course the person is to incorrigible to help.
The second I would say is practical. Humans aren't anything if not practical.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:38:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bit condescending to say "the real world" when you mean "my world," though, isn't it.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed but don't you think that bacon could probably interpolate that to something more useful? Or maybe he is dismissed because he really has nothing to offer l.. I meam its not like he gave us any actual situation
SilasX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
None of that excuses you from having to justify your opinions, which is how the phrase gets used.
"When you experience X, then you'll understand!"
'Wow, X will remove my ability to articulate my thoughts and make me use it as a trump card in every argument? Then I better avoid X!'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just be sure to have her back by 11pm.
THUMB5UP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:35:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family did this to me forever, until I moved away. How old are you? Often they do it when they still consider you a baby / or you are still in school.
Doing just fine. Tell your uncle and whoever else to stop being shitters and be happy for you/respect you, and if they still suck know that -I- am happy for you. :)
The greater irony is that the people who would tell you this probably live an extremely sheltered life and have little clue what "the real world" is actually like.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont necessarily think this is untrue. The only qualm I have to this would be that the phrase "real world" could be replaced by "working world" or something along those lines. Children in middle school or high school often are shielded from how the world operates and responsibilities. You just go to school and that is your life. You dont worry about bills, taking care of a family, or anything like that. Obviously the people who use it to belittle others are dicks but I dont think that the phrase itself is always unwarranted.
LithisMH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Although life has some messed up programmers. Life needed more QA time
SkyPork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who is likely in the same age range as Uncle Shit-for-Brains, I'm happy to say I fucking hate it when people do that too. Age does not necessarily give you wisdom, and doesn't by default make you smarter or more experienced than a younger person.
Yes, agreed. People say it to invalidate literally all of your life experiences. That and "life isn't fair, get used to it". Both are often used to justify antisocial behavior that negatively affects others, or justifying other people's behavior.
College was honestly a far more stressful experience to me than working ever has been. I work 70+ hour weeks climbing radio towers, sometimes during blizzards, storms, dust storms, or in insane heat. I've had tools and massive equipment fall near my head, and the threat of death is always nearby. Injuries are common and stress levels can get extremely high.
Guess what I have nightmares about? Forgetting about registering for a class or taking a test and dumb shit like that, and I graduated almost 5 years ago.
Likewise a lot of my college aged peers like to say "real job" when they mean "office job." I hope someday they let that slip in front of a career custodian and realize how fucking offensive it is to call any job not a "real job."
People who tend to talk about the "real world" are usually people who are miserable with their own existence and wish the same misery upon you.
It's either that, or they are talking to a 14 year old kid who thinks their world is ending because they can't find a date to the dance.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old people will never get over themselves.
Tgs91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been in the work force for about a year. It is so much easier than college. Imagine college, except at 5:00, you just leave and don't worry about it until the next day.
No all nighters. No studying way more than 40 hrs a week. And you get paid!!!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the same vein, "Your school/college years are some of the best times of your life."
Oh, really now? Thanks, I'm glad you weren't miserable there. I'm also glad that there's no chance to grow outside of college.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"its not the real world until you know what the stresses of being an adult are like" the fuck do you know how large the stresses are of my future and the world I live in that is going to shit and its going to by my generations problem
egm03 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my dad uses this all the time, and I'm just like :|
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't agree more. I hate how so many people use it as if its a socially acceptable phrase. I'm surprised how many people dont realize how idiotic they sound when they say it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus when people tell me that college is nothing and that the real world is much worse. Fuck that shit, I've been lucky enough to work in my field for a bit through an internship, that shit was way better and less miserable than college work.
While I totally agree with you, it truly is amazing how you view on what the "real world" is as you grow up... I remember at 20 thinking exactly as you... then again at 30... and even now I look back at my 30 year old self and say, "Just wait for the real world"
I hate when I hear this said to high school students too.
I'm moved out on my own. I'm shit broke living in a pretty damn small apartment. I cook my own meals, clean my own place, buy my own gas. I'll punch you in the mouth if you say I'm not living in the real world.
Well, I don't mean that. It'd probably break my hand and I can't afford a hospital visit. I'd just look at you angrily.
But I hated high school much more than this. I have nightmares that I'm a teenager again.
How about we all admit none of us really know what the fuck we're doing instead of acting like grizzled old veterans because we pay our rent.
While I completely agree with this, there are some people that definitely need a reality check.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know it wasn't intended this way, but I laughed really hard while reading your comment, especially at the Sims part. It was so animated. Thank you for that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They lived in a time where the economy was so lop-sided in favour of the average American that they could afford a house, college, under a single income earner.
They don't know shit about today's "real world". They'd crumble if they ever had to re-enter today's workforce.
In my experience, "real world" means "place in your life where you are unhappy and are not proud of anything you do." I've only been told about the "real world" by people I did not admire or respect, which made it easy for me to decide never to go there.
I have an aunt who said this to me when I got my first job. The thing is, she barely ever works and lives of benefits/welfare. I replied somewhat instantaneously "Yeah, when will you be joining us?", that wiped the cheeky shit eating grin off her face.
Getting this from a lot of people at my work because I am a physics student working in an engineering department. Of all the things, I'm working right alongside these people, how am I not in the real world? If anything, physics is as real as the world can get, sorry for wanting to contribute to our understanding of it.
Oh my fuck yes. My older sister says this to me all the damn time. She thinks because she has a 9-5, and that I'm a grad student, I haven't experienced the real world. It drives me up the fucking wall.
I'm 28 now so it's not so bad, but when I was just a bit younger I used to get this bullshit. It got old really fucking fast.
Even now, I see older people do it to younger people and it makes my blood boil. People seem to forget how difficult stuff was when they were younger.
I like to think of it this way:
Nobody actually knows what the fuck they are doing. Everyone just bumbles around, fucking up, learning from said fuck up, and continuing on with life. Everyone just wings it, period.
I had this epiphany when I was 25. It took a massive load off my shoulders, it really did.
So to those of you who constantly talk down to people younger than you, fuck you. You shouldn't dismiss someone just because they are younger.
Judge people based on their actions, not their age.
Fuck YES! Top add to your comment, I hate when they follow up with how "lucky" you are. Yeah, I worked two fucking jobs and went to school at the same time and lived with (and paid rent to) relatives so that I could be the first in my family to go to college. But yeah, I'm just lucky that I got a job and worked and saved and was frugal for years to afford a house.
Just piling on. My brother and I, my whole life. From my parents. We're 28 (twins).
KelMage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! I had an uncle who said I was liberal because I was a student and when I finally started paying taxes I would be conservative so fast.
Bitch, I got into the 'real world' and realized your generation has sucked the natural resources of our world dry, is the most 'entitled' generation in history, and has left our social safety net in shambles.
I want to be taxed, I want to tax you greedy bastards into the ground, and I have become monstrously more liberal the more I age and see how horrible your generation is.
Happy graduation mother-fucker, I'm your worst nightmare.
I was getting tea at Starbucks one day and brought my laptop so I could do some homework. The cashier asked me what I was studying, I told him and made some sort of small talk comment about looking forward to graduating and being done with the whole mess. He then said, "Yeah. I remember being in college. Just wait until you're in the real world, you'll wish you were back in school." I informed him I was in grad school and had already had a stint in the real world for about a decade before working on my master's. He was such a patronizing ass.
Well they might have a better view of the real world up on that high horse.
erispie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your older relatives are clearly people clinging to the adult conspiracy and are terrified to admit that we're all in the same world, figuring shit out as we go.
One of my longest-lasting friendships was ended by this.
An old friend of mine got some kind of high off of being a teacher.
I work as a graphic designer, full-time. I've been with the company for years.
She pitched going to breakfast on a saturday at 7am, and I said "I like to sleep in on my weekends, could we meet up some other time, or for lunch or something?"
She said she had a very busy schedule, then gave me a lecture about being an adult, being part of the "real world", and how in a real career you wake up early every day.
It was so absurdly condescending, and considering I worked full time years before she did, lived on my own years before she did, and am older than her, I realized she just wasn't a friend anymore.
If that's how she views the world, there's something wrong with her. I hang out with friends to relax, not to get shit on.
So not only is this the phrase that instantly makes me dislike someone if I've just met them, it even works if I've known them for nearly a decade.
I'm 30-years-old. I'm the youngest of 6 children by 15 seconds. I'm the only one with a workable college degree (the only one who graduate from college). I'm the only one who can hold down a job longer than a year and, yet, everyone (my grandmother especially) condescends to me that I'll "understand when I grow up" or "wait until you grow up" or "wait until you're a mother".
WTF. I'd also like to add that the latter phrase is never used in an appropriate context. Like, I'll make a statement about general life and Grams will pull that one out. It's almost as if, because I don't make severely fucked up decisions, I'm second class. I have to make a concerted effort to push down the rage whenever it happens.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only time I have ever enjoyed this phrase was when my ex used to say "it's cold out in the real world, let me into the goddamn bed". That is the only acceptable usage
Convenient that "the real world," to the person saying it, is always the world view that panders to whatever they think is right, or wrong with the world.
A: "BLACK PEOPLE BLAH BLAH BLAH"
B: "Hey, whoa, that's really racist."
A: "PSH, Oh come on, grow up- welcome to the real world"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, highschool and middle school teachers treating college as "the real world", and saying you won't be ready for it, rude awakening etc.. And then using that as justification for giving you shit loads of busy work.
Fuck, I actually had a more pleasurable, easier time in college than highschool.. Sure some things were harder, but they seemed easier, maybe it was the extra freedom, or the atmosphere..
Just hated how they used that as justification for giving you useless busy work that they know won't help you..
katha757 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my senior english teacher in highschool making fun of any phrase that used "real life", because we're apparently living in a "fake life" right now.
pethcir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I've always been so frustrated when people talk about the "real world" as if going to school and working is some sort of security blanket. It's stressful, but don't tell them that. "Oh you think this is stressful? Wait until you enter the real world."
Wanna grab an Ecto-Cooler and watch some power rangers with me? We can bitch at these children who think they are suddenly old because they were alive in the 1900's.
CDC_ ยท 930 points ยท Posted at 17:11:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the interest of transparency, I really wouldn't mind tasting ecto-cooler again.
You know, it seems silly to me that the makers of Hi-C haven't realized just how much of a license to print money releasing limited batches of this stuff would be.
bordy ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:57:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like a short run of crystal Pepsi.
Except the Pepsi run would be short because we'll all remember how meh it really was.
Damn, that's barely more expensive than buying from amazon (who might charge more for shipping to your part of the continent). I'm glad you've at least got the specialty option. It'd be smart for Coke to offer it in your markets again, it's still rather popular in the places that do still have it.
The odd part is, it was really popular back in 07 iirc. But I just sort of died out. The shitty side of living in canada we some times get left out of some of the great snack foods and crap.
You can buy it everywhere in Australia, I love it and used to buy it all the time, but in Japan we only get limited runs of lemon coke (which is also awesome, and released in limited runs in Australia).
Oh, I had an orange coke the other day from 7-11, it was ok.
Meh, I would still buy it. And even if it was bad, I would still drink it. But I would kill for fruitopia to come back. That shit is delicious. I know I can get it at McDonald's but I just wanna go to the gas station and buy it.
There is an alcoholic drink called the ecto-cooler! I don't know if it's a widely known thing but 2 years ago at the New Hampshire state comic convention (GraniteCon) it was one of the featured drinks and it's really good.
With the new Ghostbuster movie being made, I'm hoping they bring back Ecto Coolers. I'm gonna do what I always wanted to as a kid and pound down a whole pack of those things. Will probably get diabeetus but worth it. Then I'm gonna play some Yoshi's Island, maybe watch some Rocko's Modern Life until I pass out.
I thought it was cheese back in the 90's. Kind of made it entertaining. I found out later it was just re-cut with an american cast and new story lines that made more sense to US audiences. I bet it does not hold up even from the cheese appeal.
I wouldn't imagine that it holds up well. Power Rangers has to be the cheesiest kids show out there and I realized this even as a kid. It would definitely be a cringeworthy watch.
Power Rangers has always been super cheesy. My boyfriend is a gigantic fan of the show and still watches it to this day and while I initially wrote him off on it, the show does have a lot of really good qualities.
IIRC, MMPR premiered on Fox Kids which I'd guess that most low-income families, especially kids, watched regularly. While the quality of the show isn't spectacular by any means, one notable thing that the show should be applauded for was how it approaches community and positivity. Most of the episodes of MMPR had the Rangers typically doing something productive with their time like being physically active, doing charity events, and community service in general. I've watched a good deal of recent kids programming like Adventure Time, Regular Show, and Gravity Falls, but I don't think those shows necessarily approach those concepts as transparently or effectively as MMPR did. Seeing that now, makes me regret not knowing about it or taking it as seriously as one can take Power Rangers, I may be less of a selfish cynic as a result. I don't know if the current seasons keep those concepts in mind but those concepts are super important for kids to learn at a young age.
If you have a kid and they're watching TV, feel free to get nostalgic and re-watch at least MMPR. Hopefully, they might learn too.
Everyone always gave me those because I was the only one out of my friends and relatives that liked the stuff. It freaked everyone else out. More Orbitz for me!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever people ask me if I was a 90's kid I always say no, even though I was born in the late 1990's, then they get all mad when I tell them my birthday and say "but you were born in the 90s!" Bitch I was a baby.
>Wake up early on Saturday so you can read the newspaper cartoons
>Father showing off his automobile that reaches 20 miles per hour
>Relishing the glory of the British Empire at its peak
I realize that my childhood expectations were too high, but I remember thinking that Ecto-Coolor was going to have to taste out of this world. Like I'd drink it and I'd somehow have zany adventures like the Ghostbusters, or even The Real Ghostbusters. Then I realized that it was just shitty green colored orange Hi-C and most of my inner child just dried up like an old fart.
Come watch the original one, Super Sentai, and drink boxed wine with me. Good luck reading the subtitles from Japanese once we get trashed...that's the point where we make up our own dialog.
I'm always amazed that they are still making new power rangers episodes. And it's come full circle and the newest season uses the original dinosaur mechs with a little different stylization.
Tbf if they were born in the 1900's they're probably really old and you should probably just leave them be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking about Ecto Cooler while shopping in the beverage aisle the other day. That stuff was delicious. The were so many great products around that time that are discontinued for some reason.
Same goes with Rice Krispy treats cereal. I was so addicted to that stuff, then one day it just disappeared from shelves in NY. I was buying it on Amazon until someone on Facebook told me they for found some at the local Walmart. Bought ten boxes a few weeks ago and went through them in less than a week.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna grab an Ecto-Cooler
The poop turns green!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, the thing I lament the most about stuff from the 90s being gone is show intros. I'm talking EPIC show intros.
Today, now tv show intro grabs you like they did in the late 80s and 90s. The most iconic song I can think of from the 2000s is fucking Spongebob and I always thought it was stupid when it first aired.
b0wz3rx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember waiting for the first episode of power Rangers to air. I wouldn't let anyone else watch the TV so I could catch it, and I was dissapointed :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try Monster Zero Ultra - closest thing I've tasted!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try Monster Zero Ultra - closest thing I've tasted!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's bizarre to me that in two years, basically everyone in high school will have been born after the turn of the millennium.
Ordies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, they must be some hip 115 year olds.
mirshe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, which Power Rangers? If it's Turbo, I'm leaving.
You know, I just figured out like a week ago that all the Power Rangers fight scenes were just ripped directly from a completely different, Japanese show. It's obvious NOW but I just...never thought about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad never let me watch power rangers. One day be came home and I was watching anyway and he went, "IS THAT THAT SHOW WITH ALL THE KICKING AND PUNCHING? Turn it off right now."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, anyone born before 2000 will be seen as part of the "good ol'" generation in the near future since they were born on a different millennium.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once got into a trivia contest with another '91 friend of mine over who was the bigger Power Rangers fan. We called it a draw after 15 glorious minutes, surrounded by the stunned and silent faces of the dining hall audience we had drawn.
isen7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you get sick of nostalgia at 30. I mean, 90s nostalgia was so much cooler in the late 2000s/early 2010s... Remember remembering Batman: The Animated Series? Animaniacs? Goof Troop? Only 90s kids. NOBODY ELSE.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:52:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, 1985 here too. We're getting old.
FCalleja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't you noticing how people our age start to make the decisions more and more, though? I mean, don't have to point it out in TV and movies, but even executives are all beginning to be our age. I kinda like it.
1985 is where its at. We are legit 90s kids. We hit the 90s at 5 years old. Perfect age to be 90's kids.
FCalleja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Word. I was born in February '85 and just learned I'm 365 months old, so we're also starting to have that going for us for the next 10-11 months or so.
ieatdurt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:28:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He was mocking the people who were born in '98 or '99 and claim to be "90s kids" because they remember a few Nickelodeon shows or had an N64. Then he says that being born in '89 makes him just as much as an '80s kids as the previous "90s kid".
Well, in 1990 you were five. Five is an acceptable age to call yourself a 90s kid. You can remember things that happened when you were five. Plus, you know, 91 and 6, 92 and 7...etc. You were growing up in the 90s as a kid.
Being born in 98, you wouldn't remember a damn thing in those two years.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I found myself thinking about gak yesterday and wondering if that stuff is still around. I mean, it's a timeless type of toy. Just like silly putty but different texture and elasticity. Man, I really wish I had some gak right now.
Why dont you come over to my house and we can watch some Hey Dude and Legends of the Hidden temple? Maybe later we'll go play some Mortal Kombat on my SNES in the basement.
CDC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sega only.
FCalleja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
95 baby here. I'll get back to you in ten years to let you know how I feel.
FCalleja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also turned 30 this year and clearly remember freaking out about turning 30 in 2005 when I turned 20, with the whole round numbers and shit. I cared way less about turning 30 at 30 than I did at 20. If that helps.
I often think man those were the days. Just sipping ecto-cooler and watching The Land Before Time while in my Ghostbusters sleeping bag in the living because it's Saturday night.
CDC_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And listening to Dre.
Don't forget about Dre, man.
FCalleja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement.
Munger88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1993 and barely remember the 90s. I mean I was only 6 years old when the 90s ended. Most of my childhood was in the early 2000s
Do you feel any affiliation with the 80s? I was born in 84 and can remember stuff from the late 80s, and all my possessions like toys, games machines and such were hand-me-downs from older cousins so all my stuff was pretty much 80s. I feel like the early 90s were very much like the late 80s anyhoo.
CDC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A keen appreciation for Bon Jovi's earlier albums.
And Ghostbusters.
Nemphiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does anyone "like" nostalgia? I truly fucking hate it. Sometimes I say "let me go ahead and listen to this old 90's song" or a tv show, and I can't enjoy it because of the nostalgic feeling. Nostalgia turns something you use to love into a sad memory. It's not cool.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'88er here. I like to believe I am a legit '90s kid as well
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who was born in 1985, and considers myself a legit 90s kid...
Yes, I remember Nickelodeon. Yes.. yes the cartoons were cool. Yeah, I get it. Nostalgia. Calm the fuck down.
Let me tell you the 1990s sucked. The only good part about it was people weren't annoying cunts on the internet, and there were lots of book shops, and record/music shops.
doneski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just turned 30, too.
Old_Grau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like everyone was excited to be an anything kid after watching all those stupid 80s night events for 10 years.
smpl-jax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah Drake and Josh aren't fucking old school Nickelodeon you stupid children
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And as someone born in 99, I also remember all those things. Why do "90's are the best generation!" people act as if these things suddenly went away? Did Y2K gobble them up?
CDC_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:53:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying you never saw some of the things I did. But I'm saying if you were born in 1999, you have no idea what staying up late on Saturday night to watch SNICK is like. At least not the original run.
Which doesn't make me better than you. It just means we had different childhoods.
You're not a 90s kid. I don't know what you are, but you're not a 90s kid. I was born in 86...do you think I consider myself an 80s kid (as much as I LOVE the 80) hell no! I barely remember anything before I was 4. From 1990 to 1999 I was 4 to 13. I had all of my crucial development years in the 90s. I'm tired of kids like you who think they're 90s kids because it's been the cool thing for a while.
CDC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What.... in the fucking hell... are you talking about? Are you on crystal meth amphetamine?
You were born in 86 and I was born in 85. We're both 90's kids.
Oh shit, I legit thought it said 1995 lol. Oh well, I'm super tired and I don't bother taking it off. I'm gonna look like a dumb ass...I don't really care though. Sorry about that.
CDC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I figured that, but it was fun being all taken aback and outraged.
sdubstko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
85 was a shit year for music, on the whole. Looked it up to see what music was cool in my birth year.
Not much.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1992 and I don't even consider myself a 90's kid because I can barely even remember how it was in 97-98 and earlier.
The weird thing is that being a child of 2 decades earlier..I only now started to get somewhat nostalgic about the 70's. I don't understand people who are in their 20's getting nostalgic about anything yet...
As someone born in 85 I would never claim to be an 80s kid, or to know anything about the 80s. I technically lived through half of it, but come on, at 5 years old I wasn't a real human at that point.
Most things are fun when they first get posted, when it's new and reddit all agrees, but then comes every new redditor and post the same thing and the other new redditors think it's new and original. It didn't use to be as much like that when reddit was smaller.
I was born in 82 and it annoys me to no end when I see my cousins who were born mid to late 90s talking about being a 90s kid. Bitches, I graduated in 2000, I literally went through my teenage years in the 90s, shut up. Half of them didn't even live in a time where the internet and cell phones weren't a thing.
Born the same year, but acknowledge that kids are just overall better off born later. Better medicine, better tech, more advantages. Reboot was the shit, though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can downplay anything, but 90s nostalgia is fucking rad
I was born in 90 and I consider myself barely a 90s kid.
[deleted] ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 16:35:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me the other day somebody on my facebook feed mentioned they were getting a Cyndaquil plushie and the hashtag at the end said #90skidforlife.
Both the Johto anime and games came out in the 2000's outside of Japan. There's also the fact he's like 19 and spent a good part of the 90's shitting himself
It's common for these types of people to just blindly associate happy childhood memories with the 90s, even though many of them occurred well into the 2000s.
"I miss 90s shows like Rocket Power, Spongebob and Even Stevens... kids today don't have REAL childhoods"
gmano ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:58:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For reference:
Rocket Power aired August 16th, 1999
SpongeBob's first episode was May 1st, 1999, it didn't air weekly until a few months later.
Even Stevens aired first on June 17th, 2000.
That said, only the kids born in say 88-94 would have been in that ideal age range to be watching the first episodes, so the bulk of the fans would be "90s kids", in that they were born after Jan. 1, 1990 and before the milennium.
To be fair, so did people born in 1989. Especially if they caught food poisoning.
Remember kids, only you can prevent anal fires. Cook meat at the recommended temperature, and for fucks sake don't do it outdoors or that damned bear will be after me again.
That's really odd. Having been born in '89, not once have I thought "I'm an 80s kid"
ThaddyG ยท 458 points ยท Posted at 16:44:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't even really consider the 90s to be the decade I really grew up in, considering I was barely cognizant for half of it. The late 90s-early 00s were my middle and high school years so I really think of that period as the era of my childhood, I identify with pop culture from 2003 way more than 1993.
Tool came out a year after nirvana mainstreamed, and was huge in 93. I get what you're saying, but I'm of the nirvana generation and we had tool as well.
Oh you silly child. It's not the same as riding your bike to the music store and buying the tape or CD and spending all day in your room listening to it all day while reading the liner notes a thousand times.
spending all day in your room listening to it all day while reading the liner notes a thousand times.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I've probably just shy of a thousand CDs. I know exactly what that's like. In fact, I was still buying CDs up until last year (last one I bought was 311 - Stereolithic; a great album btw) when I moved to Hawaii, and since I'm here and don't know how long I'll be here, I'm holding off buying extra stuff that would be excess weight to carry back with me.
The only music store we had in my town though was Wal-Mart, but they had the Clean versions, so I wasn't going to get those. So getting CDs involved driving 30 minutes to Gastonia to go to Best Buy (sometimes Circuit City if they had a sale).
I also remember having to wait patiently by the radio hoping they'll play that new song off the new album that's not coming out for another month so I could tape it and hoping the dumb DJs wouldn't talk over the beginning of it.
Having any song I want to hear at my fingertips now is so much better.
Grunge and 90's hip hop alone make me grateful for being born on '78. On the downside I'm such a goddamn curmudgeon about today's music as a result.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:08:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We got System of A Down and Tool. Not Nirvana, but I wouldn't shake a stick at either of them.
Bro I was OGT, from '92, the first EP. Hold up gotta take a sip of this coke. Anyway, I think Tool are selling out, laying down, suckin' up to the man.
Well now I've got some advise for you little buddy. Before you point your finger you should know that I'm the man. And if I'm the man, then you're the man, and he's the man as well. So you can point that fuckin' finger up your ass.
It's alright Fam. Just keep ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN
ThaddyG ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:05:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, yeah I never got too into those bands. Briefly, in middle school, because a lot of friends were into nu-metal and stuff, but then in high school I started listening to indie rock which eventually led me to widen my musical horizons to the point where "so what do you like to listen to?" is an unanswerable question.
And I don't listen to a whole lot of grunge/90s alt not because I was too young, but because I honestly don't like a lot of it. Don't get me wrong, I love some of it like Nirvana or Cake or the Violent Femmes, but a lot of other popular 90s rock bands just don't do it for me. The year something came out should never be a barrier to someone listening to it, anyway.
And I'm always down to jam to some Biggie or Wu or Dre.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody down with the Bizkit says "heck." You gotta swear bro, it makes you cool. I bet your mom bought you the censored bizkit albums! Everybody laugh at the nerd!
MK_Ninja ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:29:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn this video brought back the days of watching VH1 early in the morning before school. 30 year old here.
LexiLucy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:29:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's interesting because I was also born too late for Nirvana ('89) yet, when I was a teen in the early 00's, nirvana was all the rage amongst the kids who were into rock music along with a lot of other 90's rock/grunge and it didn't even seem like older music to us. I actually didn't even know Nirvana was older until someone told me, lol.
I recently heard nirvana on a classic rock station and nearly lost my shit. Then I remember that nevermind is almost 25 years old. I'm 37 so that's right during my teen angst years.
Essentials would be "I bet you look good on the dancefloor," "fluorescent adolescent," brianstorm, teddy picker, mardy bum, suck it and see, cornerstone, r u mine, and you might've already heard "do I wanna know" on the radio, but that's one of my least favorites personally. Everyone has a different opinion on what songs are best, but if you wanna give them an honest shot I'd suggest listening to the first two albums to see how they became so damn popular. And then after that the next three albums show how they've grown as musicians and as a band
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The entirety of "whatever people say I am, that's what I am not."
Well yes but I tried to give actual songs haha. When I got into them it was bc a friend gave me a cd that had the first two albums in it. Only listened to that for weeks
Quizzie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I still love "do I wanna know" though. Never heard them on the radio though, but that's because my area is down to like one rock station and I only get it in some areas.
Ya'll need to watch Midnight in Paris. It really hammers home the idea that every generation thought two generations ago was the crรฉme de la crรฉme of times to be alive. You have Nirvana and 90's rap now. In 20 years people will say people alive today had some band or two and we're so lucky because of it. Live for today, friend, and don't envy the past.
In fairness I wasn't romanticising the 90's I was born in 86, I remember the 90's and it wasn't that great, SNOW anyone? The music I ended up with as an adolescent just sucked though. Nu Metal, just awful.
ElPuppet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '82 and consider myself an 80s kid. I remember a lot of the late 80s.
ThaddyG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a lot of stuff from the later years of the decade, but I wasn't old enough that much of it affected me, and I definitely wasn't forming my own opinions about culture or politics or anything like that.
I remember TV shows like Hollywood Squares, Tracy Ullman and later the Simpsons Christmas Special, Nickelodeon, MTV, etc. Also the toys, the unbelievably cool toys and Nintendo games.
ThaddyG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I watched all the TV shows and movies and music videos that people talk about when they talk about being a "90's" kid, I guess I'm thinking beyond that. Not just the cartoons we were watching and toys we were playing with, because kids are always gonna watch whatever cartoons are on TV and want the latest toys regardless of what year it is.
Young kids are generally isolated from the 'real world'. Like I knew about OJ Simpson and Kurt Cobain and Monica Lewinsky, I knew what they did and what happened to them, but when I was 9 years old it didn't have any real impact on me, I didn't have any opinions on those subjects beyond what I heard my parents say, I wasn't in any way a part of the zeitgeist. I dunno, maybe I'm missing the point and we're really just talking about Rugrats and Power Rangers and shit.
Born in the same year as you and tbh, I don't remember a whole lot of the 80s. A bit of MacGuyver, Transformers maybe but it wasn't until 90, 91 that I started paying more attention to things
I was also a January baby and had an older sister and a bunch of aunts and uncles under the same roof--I was never really talked down to, I was treated like a younger brother rather than a baby. I think that helped my development and my memory.
I was born in 1991 and definitely identify with late 90s early 00s more for myself but since I grew up with siblings that were born in 1980-1986, I had a lot of early 90s culture surrounding me in my most impressionable years. I don't buy into the hardcore 90s "life was so much better in those days" nostalgia but I will always love the music and movies of that time. Also the weird period of fashion that is somehow making a comeback today. Big fan.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tying flannel button ups around your waist and wearing a jacket normally over the whole thing. Doc Marten-style boots. Platform flip flops and sneakers. Those black plastic stretchy chokers. Those I don't like for comfort reasons but the rest I can dig.
ThaddyG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hated those jeans when I was younger but for some reason find them oddly attractive this time around.
I think you're right. It should be defined by those middle/high school years.
You were a 90's child, but you were a 2000's kid.
ThaddyG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't consider anyone younger than like 10 to be a real person in a lot of ways. Not to sound callous, little kids aren't worthless or anything, just when you're that young you don't really know anything about how the world works.
I like little kids a lot, they're just idiots. Which is to be expected.
DSV686 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember Nunavut, so it's literally all I remember from the 90's is hearing about Nunavut
cbuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I consider my childhood 1995-2005. So half and half. I usually consider my teen years a separate thing, but that's just how my brain breaks up the timeline I guess.
Interesting. We sound the same age, but I always thought of myself as a 90s kid because I remember when Nickelodeon was good.
ThaddyG ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:17:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '89, and yeah I watched all those same shows, but on a deeper level the 90s aren't the period that I feel really shaped my personality. I kinda think the pre-teen and teenage years are when you really become steeped in the culture around you, for most people. In the end, for me, it comes down to 9/11 and the rise of the internet.
Exactly. I was born in 83, my only memories of the 80s were in kindergarten.
ThaddyG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's how I feel about the 90s. I mean I have vague memories of some guy named after Orange Juice being in trouble for driving his white car too slow and famous musicians killing each other/themselves and some crazy shit going down in Yugoslavia/Kosovo but I wasn't old enough to really understand any of it on any meaningful level until 5+ years after the fact.
Even then, I was too young for the first 3-4 years of the 90s to have any established nostalgia.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:37:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I had a girlfriend who said she was "a child of the 80's" because she was born Dec. 29, 1989. She was alive in the 80's for literally like 3 days.
Haha wow. That is pretty ridiculous. Each time she said that, did you think "yeah for 3 days..."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, pretty much. I once tried explaining that it's about actually experiencing it, but she was just a stickler for the exact date. I think maybe because she was younger than most of the group she did it to feel more on our level or something? I dunno, we were teenagers, lol.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:33:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same - born in the late 70s and I absolutely identify as a child of the 80s.
I was born in '94, so the early 2000's were the environment I grew up in. That said, reruns and older siblings ensured I got a taste of '90's pop culture, so I still "get" the whole '90's nostalgia that's happening.
If I'm being honest I never have either. I have, however, told people born in 1990 about how great the 80's were and how "they really missed out"- this is usually met with the exact amount of disdain you'd expect which is the goal. To make my friends miserable.
Hell, I was born in 1980 but didn't get into cocaine or acid-washed / stone-washed jeans until the 00s at least.
I got into the 90s' skater haircut (long ponytail, undercut to my temples with no guard on the clippers) right about the time it became popular, though.
Then I wore it for another decade just because it was fucking cool.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A bunch of friends my age will talk about how we're 80s kids. I was alive for six months when the 90s started.
alecv26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here! I was born in 85. There's no way I would consider myself an 80s kid, considering I spent most of my time in the 80s wearing diapers, and didn't learn about the 80s until well into the 90s. That kid needs to accept his place as a Millenium and shut the hell up.
I'm an 80's kid.....at heart. I love all the 80s cartoons and stuff. I was born a decade late. Screw being a 90s kid! I wanna be an 80s kid!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calvin Harris still has love for you, though.
Saemika ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, you are also barely a '90s kid. I was born in 86, and don't even fucking remember the 90's. Sure I watched TV and played with toys, but it's not like it was some magical time that will never be replicated. Most the important events of the 90s I have only a faint recollection of, or wasn't old enough to understand or care. I usually use the rule of thumb that to be a 90s kid, you had to have been a kid during the 90s, not a newborn, or an infant, or a toddler. Also, to be an age where that generation was formative. I consider my formative years to be in the late 90s and the early 2000's, the years leading up to high school.
As mentioned in a different comment that is how I feel as well. Most of my 90s memories are from 95/96 onward.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:03:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah sorry I didn't mean to imply you thought that, just highlighting how this 90s kid thing seemingly encompasses like three generations, when in actuality it seems like people are just internalizing memories they never really had and we're just told about.
That's essentially how I consider myself. I remember playing with friends pretty heavily around 95-96. However I did get the worst injury of my life in '93.
I was born in 83 and consider myself a 90's kid not an 80's kid.
TheHaak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I was born in '73 and totally call myself an 80's kid.
phaqueue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus... I was born in '86 and don't consider myself an "80's kid"...
I wasn't aware enough to experience any of it... I was a 90's kid... I grew up on things in the 90's... I was 4 years old in 1990... I was still shitting in my own pants for the bulk of the time I spent in the 80's... I don't remember any of the "culture" going on then...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1986 here, consider myself a 90's kid.
My brother was born in 83 and he talks about the 80's. I'm just thinking, you were 7 man. 7.
maybe that's because the internet wasn't like it is today so all of these 90s nostalgia memes we see today weren't around in the 90s but with 80s nostalgia memes instead.
I don't disagree that the Internet plays a role in this mentality. I didn't hear anything along the lines of "I miss the 80s" from my siblings growing up, though.
Me neither. I was born in '88, while my brother's were born in '82 and '80. I don't know if they identify with the 80s more, because they've never mentioned it one way or another. It just wasn't a thing until now.
I was born in 89 too. I always talk about the 80s like it was my prime time. I do it just to piss off my sister and cousins who were born in the early 80s. :)
Fuck, I was born in '80 and I think of myself as a 90's kid more than anything. I was 10 when the 90's started. Just old enough to actually consume media and pop culture.
BW_Bird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born 1985. I don't consider myself an 80s kid
resay5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in 1985; I honestly enjoy 80s music (it's catchy and cheesy at times in a wonderful way) but no way in hell do I identify as an "80s kid" because of that.
I was born in 89 as well and I'll joke around sometimes about how the 80's were a crazy time, but I've never once been serious about it. I was in the 80's for fucking half a year, I'm not an "80's kid"
idog73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1973 but I am definitely an 80s kid.
Hell, I was born in '81 and don't consider myself an "80s kid" since I was barely aware of myself until the last 3 years of it. I identify with 90s kid & pop culture way more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 93 and barely consider myself a 90's kid. The 90's were almost over by the time I could remember anything.
A small expat community in a tiny town in Indonesia. Looking back the culture was about 5-10 years behind America. All the media we got from America was from the 80's. The gap in media exports decreased significantly as the internet became a thing though.
I get called an "80's kid" from time to time, everytime I'm like "Motherfucker I was born in April of '89, I existed for like 8 months of the 80's, it doesn't count"
Kovaelin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '86 and don't really consider myself an 80's kid, when it comes to pop culture.
Exactly. I consider myself to have been an 80's kid... because I was born in 1976. It's weird to identify with the decade you were born in rather than the one you did your growing up in.
Same. I'm technically an 80's kid but I'm not a product of the 80's because it didn't influence my growth in any way.
wreleven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was born in '79 and I don't even think I'm an 80s kid. My formative years were the 90s. All my favorite music is from 96-99.
Fofolito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '89 and constantly claim to be an 80s kid knowing full well people like my sister who were born in '82 will get all up on my case. If it weren't for the mirthful glint in my eye or the ironic inflection I give the statement people might think I actually meant it
I held very tightly to that last few months of the 80's I was alive for, but that's because half the kids in my grade were born in '90, and I really wanted to point out I was older than them.
It is not all that important to me now, as I no longer have classmates.
Pretty sure the cut-off for 90's kid is somewhere around '87-88. I'd say which decade age 8-14 lands is about appropriate. Of course a lot of people overlap decades with such a range.
Also, I miss more "wholesome" kids cartoons that were less centered on being inane/stupid, and I think there's a big difference between early and late 90s in that. But we did get some quality stuff like reboot and gargoyles so it kinda makes up for it
Bonolio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in '72, identify as an '80s kid.
I wish I didn't.
kaiyotic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
same here. born in 1988 definetely feel like I'm a 90s kid. the time I was alive in the 80s I didnt even know what a fish was or that I was the guy i saw in the mirror.
KYplusEL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1998 and I think this because a lot of people my age believe that all this trouble in the world only came be in the past 15 years. They think that just because something is old or unknown it's somehow better and that obviously the 90's were a better time then now. And then of course they all try not be popular by liking Nirvana and watching old cartoons and wearing 90's clothes. So it's like a combination of thinking that the past has to be better then now, hating the life they have now, and wanting to be different.
I was born in 84 and I still wouldn't say I was an 80s kid. I only have a handful of memories from the 80s that aren't just mundane shit like going to school or whatever that aren't really decade specific - fall of the Berlin Wall being the only one I can think of from the top of my head.
It also matters what your influences are. I'm 91 but I had an 87 and 82 sibling so I was really subject to a lot of nirvana and 90s stuff. And then there are those my age who have no clue what happened in the world until Pokemon times because they were the first child, or very sheltered or for whatever other reason. Some people also just have absolutely horrendous knowledge of pop culture and or history.
I was born in 79 and consider myself a "90's kid" simply because I spent all of the 80's playing in my backyard. About the only thing I had in the 80's that was "cool" was an NES, and I didn't even get that until like... 86 or 87?
Same here - I was born in '96 and I am most definitely a 2000s kid. The only way I can remotely call myself a 90s kid is because a lot of the TV/movies I watched, toys I played with, etc were made in the 90s.
Yeah, you can be born in the 90s and be mostly a 90s kid, but you best be born in the first 2 years or so of the decade. Most of my childhood memories as someone born in 1990 are centred around 1995 - 2002 or so, so 90s resonates reasonably well but even then I missed the first half of it.
I was also born in 1998, and I can't fucking stand hearing that 90's kids shit. Like, what, you think you're so cool 'cause you were born in 1999? Facebook is full of this sort of crap.
I was 8 years old in 1995. I fall almost perfectly in the middle here.
That being said, I remember the late nineties a lot more clearly than the early nineties - mostly what I remember from a lot of those "Only nineties kids will get this" posts are the TV shows, and even most of those were carryovers from the late eighties.
I was born in the (very) early 70s and get crap all the time for saying I was a child of the 70's, because to the purists you had to be a child in 1970, not a baby either but at least a toddler, because otherwise you did not experience the entire 70s. It can go the other way and be annoying too.
I was born in 95 and I consider myself somewhat of a 90s kid since I lived in a developing country until I was six and things always showed up to the party ten years late
Hell I was born in 94 andI barely consider myself a 90s kid. I could probably run through my memories of that decade in about 10 minutes.
KrypXern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man I grew up with nothing but an NES for some time and I was born in 1996, and I don't call myself a '90's kid'. Hearing people who grew up with XBOX and Gamecube and PS2 claiming that they're 90s kids sounds so ridiculous.
I did in fact grow up with a GameCube, a GameBoy, and a PS2, but I'm DEFINITELY not gonna call myself one of those. I was born in late '98, and most people who call themselves '90s kids were born in December of '99!
Logan42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who was also born in 1998, I usually say that ironically/sarcastically.
I hate this too. I was born in 1990 and I was barely a 90s kid. Sure I watch Power Rangers and Rugrats, but I was in 3rd grade at the turn of the millenium. I remember a lot more about the 2000s.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:22:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '99, and I call myself mostly a 90s kid. Let me explain why.
I have an older brother. We had a ton of shows from the 90s on VHS and I was always forced to watch them rather than my shows. I played video games on the SNES and the N64. I was on the PS1 and PS2 often. All of these things that I hear came out in the 90s I very clearly remember. So while I'm not the "Early 90s, born and raised" I most definitely can relate to those better than I could 2005 material.
Idk. That's just my two cents.
AB11079 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to get my calculator out to check your age.
Holy shit when did you kids grow up
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:53:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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AB11079 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can be a "nineties kid" born in the late nineties if your family was good and poor, and/or if you grew up far from a western cultural epicentre. Shit, I'm a seventies kid because I was born in '86 in northwestern Greece, where we were still watching betamax tapes on our wood-panelled black-and-white TV.
I was born in 1979, the 80's were way the fuck cooler than the 90's. I think anyone who lived through the 80's is likely to agree with this.
Sure from a technology point things weren't as good, but from a social standpoint, from a cultural standpoint, 80's America seemed like the time to be alive in America.
Word. If you were born in the decade it's hard for you to be a "Kid of that decade." I was born in 83 but still consider myself much more of a 90's kid. I had no idea what culture was when I was 1-7 years old.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:21:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have to understand the nuances of the definition of "culture" to experience it. I was born in '92 but I still remember everything up to the year 2000. The shows, the music, the toys, even the commercials. I refuse to call myself a "90's kid" because who the fuck cares, but I would absolutely consider myself part of that decade. I may not have understood the cultural impacts of what I was seeing, but I still experienced those things.
I went through adolescence in the 2000's, not really childhood except for the tail end. So for me, the 2000's are defined by terrible hairstyles, awful makeup, my "emo" stage, and puberty. The 90's are what I most strongly associate with my actual childhood.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:13:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in 94 I consider myself a 90s baby instead. I caught the tail end (98-99) and have some memories from those years, but not enough to say I "experienced" anything substantial.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. I have vague memories of being 4 and 5, but once I was 6 it was 2000 so then of course I associate most w/ that decade & this current one.
Yeah every time this thread is made people mix up adolescence and childhood. You start retaining memories around age 4 so being born in 1990 would give you about 6 years of 90s memories, plus the several year residual culture that you would share with your childhood peers. '90s kid' in this sense means you have deep memories implanted from a certain time period that recall some of your earliest experiences.
Having your adolescence and early adulthood in the 90s might mean you were able to experience more aspects of the culture but if we are speaking about nostalgia then half or most people born in the 80s would have lost their innocence and wonder by the time the 90s rolled around.
With that said I would consider 1987-1995 to be the cutoff for being a 90s kid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. That's basically what childhood is about, being a witness to situations around you because you're too young to understand and do most things.
90s kid is different from a 90s teen who'd also be different from a 90s adult. I'm not saying each of those groups doesn't belong to a subculture of the 90s, it's just if we're talking about being a 90s kid then we're looking at people who were younger than 15 by year 2000.
Okay but a lot of 90s things carried on well into the 2000s
1pnoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it means they were born in the 90s. Reddit seems to have missed that part of it and get worked up that people are trying to steal the glory of their childhood. So there is no "despite" about it really.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is, most of the "90s kids" claims are also true about the early 2000s. So even if you're born later in the 90s, you still remember the same shows, toys, etc...
[deleted] ยท 904 points ยท Posted at 15:50:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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th3d3k0y ยท 215 points ยท Posted at 01:32:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I still read it as "pound". Which makes Twitter hilarious when people put up a hashtag of something that works really well with pound
/#DatAss
cryptoz ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:16:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean
#DatAss
unless, of course, you meant to type a giant, bolded DatAss, which, maybe you did. Reddit uses a modified markdown for syntax, you can escape your "hashtag" with a slash (also known as a slashtag ;)). Like so:
in england it's called the hash symbol, so hash-tagging makes a lot more sense. it's not 'the hashtag' symbol, it's 'the hash'. the TAG, signified by A HASH, is a hashtag. goddammit.
I don't get what's wrong with that... the word has come to have a legitimate meaning, whether you like it or not, and you obviously know what it means, so what's the problem?
So what about when people refer to <div></div> as "div tags"? Why couldn't the hash sign's terminology evolve to also be referred to as "hash tags" as well? I know it's not "officially" referred to as a hashtag when it comes to programming, but no reason that can't change down the line.
I had a substitute teacher for music theory class one time. We were reviewing for our scales test, and he starts the review like "which scale has 5 hashtags?"
I made written edits to a document for a younger coworker. The editing mark for adding a space is the pound symbol. Younger coworker was perplexed as to why I wrote hashtags all over the document.
"Yes I will completely change my mind on something that: makes me feel physically sick to my stomach, fills me with anxiety, makes me wish I wasn't born female, and if focused on long enough will drive me to have suicidal thoughts. I will TOTALLY change my mind! /s youheartlessbitch. "
Ehh, we change our mind on a lot of things over the years. I used to hate onions. And i used to think girls were gross. My parents were right on both calls.
This phrase typically comes up when adult women express disinterest in/that they won't be having children. In that context the smug remark is irritating as fuck - women don't come to that decision lightly (and sometimes it's made for them), so making comments like that makes it seem like it's about onions or something equally trivial.
Now that I think about it, it was the other day at a carnival. The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon insult I vowed revenge. I trapped him alive behind a brick wall.
alitairi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:36:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All the fucking time lmfao.
ItsMeTK ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:59:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually in the truest sense of the word an apology is explaining yourself and defending your actions. Being sorry is showing remorse. I hate that we've conflated the two.
I've never heard it described this way. My understanding is that an apology is an admission of wrongdoing, and actually that it also includes a an offer to remedy the situation. Nothing about explanation or defending your actions.
ItsMeTK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:29:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word apology is from a Greek word that literally means "to give a defense of". Consider back to days gone by when you'd do something wrong and a parent would say, "Explain yourself!" Somewhere along the way, it got distorted to mean "say you're sorry". But the older (correct) use of the word still exists in uses like people who defend their faith being called "apologists".
I always tell them, "Exactly, it's a luxury not a necessity. I am choosing to use my time this way." Granted I might say it to them like they're a child..
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:56:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nlaprise ยท 4946 points ยท Posted at 15:23:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That generation is.... the kids these days..... When I was young we....
No it's not okay to judge an entire generation based on your limited experience.
[deleted] ยท 2763 points ยท Posted at 15:53:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 1489 points ยท Posted at 16:31:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're just lazy. That's right! When I was your age, all I had to do was walk into the store and talk to the manager. After all, I did go to college, so you should have it even easier with all the technology these days. It's time to pull yourself up by the boot straps!"
gnorty ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:07:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's one way to see it - another way is that your education scores set you apart from your peers. If everyone has college certificates, then it's no advantage. You need to do better than the other guys looking for the same jobs, not better than your mom.
Well it depends on where you see the value in a degree. You are correct that if everyone had a degree, it would economically be worthless, but imagine if everyone has a PhD level education (and was intelligent enough to have actually earned it). If everyone was that educated, we could make such faster progress as a species. Education as a species is cumulative, even if the economic benefits tend to be individual and competitive.
gnorty ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:58:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's also true, to an extent, but in your world, where everyone has a degree, would everyone be productive?Would the efforts be duplicated?
I appreciate what you say, and without doubt agree that a degree is not just about earning more money, but in the context of this thread, intangible benefits are not counted.
We need (and will pay for) a certain number of graduates. In previous generations, that number was not met, so the pay was high. Now it is more than met, so the pay is low. It sucks for those who put in the work and will likley never reap the rewards. It also sucks for the parents who gave the bad advice.
Indeed. Honestly that's why even though I'm currently going for a degree I always try to take classes that are outside my degree focus, just so I'll be well rounded. You never know when some knowledge will come in handy.
I have my Ph. D, there aren't enough jobs for the Ph. D's we are producing now and in most cases a Ph. D is basically research training. Which unless you have research jobs to fill isn't much more valuable than a masters.
Ok masters then. The point is that while I can see how a degree is devalued if everyone has one, society as a whole still benefits from being more educated.
The cynic in me says that even if we were all PhD level intelligent we'd still disagree and argue all the time, we'd just do so much more cogently and eloquently
gnorty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:57:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An interesting read. I was already aware of this "big lie", and I personally believe that there is another lie, just as important.
That lie is sexual equality. In previous genations (go back 3, maybe 4 generations) and very much the norm was the husband would go to work, the wife would stay home, raise the children, and keep the house. That seemed to work out OK on the whole. Somehow we now have the idea that women are worth less if they stick to this role.
As a result, women now have their own careers to a much greater degree. Those who do not often feel undervalued, not just by their husbands, but also by their peers, and society at large.
So we now have both parents working full time. Meanwhile, our levels of household debt is increasing. How can we possibly be bringing in double the income, and struggling to make ends meet? Partly because there are a lot more expensive luxuries to buy, but surely there is more than that? We are working twice as hard just to stay afloat. Where would our ancestors have sat on the economic scale if our great grandfather was able to double his income? Would they be better off than we are today? I'm pretty certain that they would!
Could it be that we judge our own worth, as people, on the luxuries we own more than any other factor? This could well be the biggest lie of all - the glue that allows the other 2 to be so pervasive.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea fuck that-technology makes everything college-related a clusterfuck nowadays. In my father's age all they had to do was fill out a form and then turn it in.
I'm not gonna lie, the internet made college way easier. Any amount of research done for any paper would have taken four times longer in a library, pounded out with a typewriter.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about that. I went to college from 18-22 (early 90s--dropped out as a senior) and then I went back at 39. It's a lot easier in certain respects. Research, writing papers, submitting papers, getting textbooks, registering for classes--all loads easier than it was back in the day. When I was a freshman, I had to stand in line for 3 hours to register for classes, and hope that there was still space in the classes I wanted by the time I got to the front of the line. Doing research for a paper was going to the library, digging around in the card catalog for the few books that applied to my topic, and hoping they weren't already checked out. If they were, well...good luck. Go find another library. Gotta write a paper? Go to the computer lab with your floppy disk and spend a few hours--or, hand-write it. Some of my classmates were the children of C-suite executives and the like, and could afford their own computer (which ran about $4K each).
Now I can do all that shit from my couch. I bought a little laptop just for my schoolwork, and it cost $400. (I already had a gaming laptop and an old desktop, plus a tablet and a smartphone, but what the heck.) I can search EVERY white paper and journal article published anywhere on the globe. If I need a book, I can order it from Amazon, and half the time they'll even have an electronic version that I can download immediately. I keep all my class materials in Dropbox and submit all my papers electronically. I have to write my papers in APA format, and MS Word now has functions that do that automatically with the click of a few buttons. I used to have to do that shit by hand!
The schoolwork is still rigorous, sure. It's supposed to be. But the project management aspect of classes is orders of magnitude easier.
Taddare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about that. I went to college from 18-22 (early 90s--dropped out as a senior) and then I went back at 39. It's a lot easier in certain respects. Research, writing papers, submitting papers, getting textbooks, registering for classes--all loads easier than it was back in the day.
As someone who did similar, you can't discount how much you have changed and not noticed. Your own time managements skills are most likely far above what they were then.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, they absolutely are. It's amazing how much easier it is to go from the workplace back into the classroom (as opposed to the reverse). But just the document handling alone is so, so much easier, which is a huge part of it.
I know. Technology has made things significantly easier, but she talks a lot about how the stuff we learned in middle school wasn't taught to her till she was a sophomore/junior in high school. She's basically saying we learn more advanced stuff sooner nowadays.
Perfect example of this- I was talking to a prof of mine.
Last year for our surveying course half the data for our final report was from transits, half total stations.
This year, it's all total stations because the school bought more. Result? More work because more data.
For the uninitiated, a transit is basically a small telescope with two protractors on it to measure angles and distances, and a total station is the same, except instead of a little telescope it's more like a digital camera with a viewfinder that shoots lasers to measure stuff, and does error calculations, angle measurements and distances automatically.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:33:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because its past 1 am but I had to read that like 4 times to grasp what you were saying.
So if stations are so much easier wouldnt every professional use stations? If so, why are you working with transits?
It's a university class, and the first year I mentioned used transits 1) to learn concepts and 2) because there were only so many total stations.
And yes, nowadays many professionals use total stations. However to basic concepts are the same.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My small town high school was so easy I skipped half of it and still graduated. When I went out of state to a big-city college, I was psyched because of all the technology they allowed us to use, whereas my HS was archaic by comparison. Figured this would be a walk in the park.
Holy fucking shit was I wrong. When they said you need to put in the same number of study hours as you are in class, they were underestimating, big-time. I have never worked so hard to keep up. I learned more in 4 years than the 17 years prior.
Computers and email and the internet and digital tape recorders are nice and all but you still have to use the oldest tool invented by man: your brain.
Now if you bus tables, you may be able to buy a textbook, heck, possibly two!
Shogger ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 17:54:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pull yourself up by the bootstraps
I hate this phrase because when people usually say it, they don't know that such an action is actually physically impossible. It's like trying to flap your arms to fly. That phrase has lost its meaning.
That's so weird, I totally see that literally pulling your feet off the grown by your bootstraps would be impossible, but I always imagined people using their bootstraps to pull themselves into a standing position from sitting on the ground when they used this term. That also seems difficult but not impossible. It's basically like using your own feet and shoes as leverage. If it is supposed to mean the way you said it, that really is a stupid saying.
Shogger ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:21:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get that it is used to emphasize one's own tenacity and perseverance to get through a rough start at something and be successful, but yeah I still think it's dumb.
"Beat the pavement! You gotta just go in and tell them you'll work!"
Yea no. I tried that. Best case scenario they give you an application. But inn 90% of my experience it's, "You need to apply online." or they say they don't do hiring, corporate hr or whomever handles it.
kryonik ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:23:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has literally never had to look for a job. He's had the same job for almost 50 years. He thinks I can just walk into a store or office building and get a job. I mean, I have a job, I'm looking for a better one, but it's just infuriating to listen to.
I'm 19, and I've applied to (easily) over 50 jobs in the past 6 months, and I haven't even gotten invited to speak to a manager/employer.
Absolutely depressing, really. I've always been a good student, never gotten in trouble, and the best I can do about getting a job is working as a water meter reader until I die of some Florida-Wildlife-related accident.
If I worked part time at the shoe factory (They don't do part time) I'd be working in a sweat shop for 5$ a week.
Totally puts a dent in the ole' tuition!
CptnAlex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:22:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My older colleagues were suggesting that kids just getting out of college unreasonably expected high paying jobs; that they worked up from the bottom rung themselves.
What they failed to realize is that college is exponentially more expensive than it was 30 years ago, and we (Millennials) were pushed towards college precisely to "have a good paying job".
I chuckled very quietly and to myself when 6 months later she was bitching about how expensive her son's COMMUNITY college education is.
I hate it when someone says "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" have you ever tried lifting yourself by pulling on your shoes??? That's a horrible expression for what people use it for.
Kinda like people think 'droll' means boring because of the stereotype of some aristocratic character faking enthusiasm by dryly responding to something that bores them with "How very droll...".
A lot of people now hear the bootstrap phrase but completely miss the original meaning.
Klein_TK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really want to kick you in the shins for saying this but I gotta tell myself you don't actually think what you just said. I hope.
In there defense, I was a young person without a job about 4 years ago. One day someone told me to buck up and go beg for a job. I begged at the mall and got minimum wage. 6 months later it was $12 an hour. Now its 50k/year. I WAS being lazy. Now I know what it means to work hard. College was easy compared to this.
I dont work at the mall anymore. I worked at Express for about 4 months. From there I got a job at a Ralph lauren for about 12/hr for about 7 months at Ralph. After that I got a temp job at a finance company in central NJ. I did another 7 months at that finance company before landing a position in customer service for a large insurance company. After 1 year in that position I was promoted to my current position. I make about 50k with overtime. It only took about 3 years to rise from minimum wage to 50K.
You need to understand that whining isn't activism. Going to school for a stupid degree isn't advancing education. Biking to work isn't going green. You can be delusional all you want- and certainly some of my generation isn't lazy and entitled- but the majority is.
I don't know why this is such a shock to people.
You go to McDonalds (or anywhere)- you get an eye roll for even showing up and having the audacity to order. You get a sigh when you want something off your burger, and a visible scowl when you want a special order. Don't you dare expect someone to bring your order to you, wait up by the counter and carry it yourself. Oh and you want them to actually let you know it's your food? Well you'll have to look at the receipts and figure it out yourself. On top of that half of them will put some cheesy tip jar out there.
I have never had an experience like that and I'm a white guy in a very poor, mostly black area. There are lazy people, but generally they aren't working.
Everyone I know in my age group works hard. Most work two jobs. Few can afford their own place without roommates but are OK with that.
I'm not saying my experience is the only truth. I'm saying there's more types of people in the world than just the ones you are describing.
If you choose to live your life so negatively, that is your choice. Just know that you are not doing anything to fix the problem you described but are in fact contributing to it.
Oh boy. First off- my negativity has nothing to do with other people's problems. I don't owe anybody anything to have a desire to fix those problems either.
Everyone you know works hard? lol generalizations aside You not knowing a single lazy person puts you in even a smaller minority then previously thought.
Or perhaps your idea of lazy is something much much lazier than I imagine. Perhaps you are lazy and don't even know it.
Working two jobs doesn't mean much- I used to work two jobs and go to school, and still found time to smoke pot and skip actually working at those jobs.
Just look at reddit- I am downvoted to hell for simply saying the majority of people are lazy. Statistics and anecdotal evidence may support my assumption but alas- this is reddit and everyone's feelings overshadow the truth.
Our generation is screwed until they grow up enough, get shit on enough, and marginalized enough to realize they made poor decisions. Perhaps your friends and you have already done the growing up.
No idea why you feel the need to defend our own generation either- speaks volumes of their lack of ability.
I currently (during summer) work two jobs, one coding professional software, and another teaching elementary schoolers robotics. I also build 120 lbs robots which my team and I compete at an international level in and build microelectronics for as cheap as possible (I made a Bluetooth Speaker for $3, all parts included in that number, excluding soldier). Then I also go to school for 8 hours and finished Calc BC last year. In my free time I also study for the ACT because I wasn't happy with my 33 from my first time.
Sorry, what was that about the "kids of this generation being lazy?"
exceptions only make the rules dude. You sound smart enough to realize you are a minority among your peers.
Hannyu ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 16:43:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This shit. Who raised us, and who raised the generation that raised us? Maybe if you weren't shit at parenting our generation wouldn't suck as bad as you believe it does.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One day you'll join us and we can all talk about how this new generation is lazy and entitled. We'll all reminisce about how the world felt so much more connect and respectful in 2015. Ahhh the good old days.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:51:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Hannyu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What I was refering to are the ones who act like our generation is magically and without explanation shitty, when they played their part in the equation. Not saying its all on them, but they certainly didn't help
Nobody said anything about being entitled to a pizza. That isn't part of the analogy.
The younger generation got handed a fucked up government and economy. You don't get to criticize these people for the way things are and for being the way they are when you literally ran this country and raised these people to be this way.
That would be handing them the box after shitting in it and then accusing them not only of shitting in it, but criticizing them because they aren't holding the box properly, which you taught them to do improperly years ago.
The younger generation got handed a fucked up government and economy. You don't get to criticize these people for the way things are and for being the way they are when you literally ran this country and raised these people to be this way.
Good job with all your righteous indignation, but if you read my original post you'd clue in that I'm part of this younger generation.
Hannyu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1) you won't catch me associating with the YOLO crowd, so go away with that shit.
2) what I'm saying is we hear ahit all the time like "your generation isn't qualified for these jobs!" Well no fucking shit. Baby boomers have been doing them since they were 20 and you never brought anyone in to replace them when they retire. Now their retirement is a reality and they realize no one is qualified to replace 20,30 years of experience. I mean no shit. Is that really our generations fault that the work force assumed you fuckers would live forever and didn't start training replacements and prepare for the future.
Lol fucking kids these days. So fucking stupid and lazy
If so, you are proof that it has always been this way, ya old cunt.
whatzen ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:21:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aah, the age old dilemma of inter-generational bickering. So aptly demonstrated by the two above comments. The old blaming the young, and the young reciprocating. It will never change.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:03:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, maybe the young can pull their head from their ass, look forward, and realize they'll be doing the exact same thing but I'm sure they'll be completely different.
Actually there's some decent social science out there to suggest that it goes in cycles and that only certain generations bicker (each cycle is ~80 years and each generation is ~20).
For example the old will bitch at the young if they were born into a golden age because from their perspective they only see things going downhill until they eventually die, right before the next golden age. And obviously they didn't cause it. Things were great when they were young and making their mark on the world. Therefore it must have been the gens who came after that fucked it all up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just waiting for the conservative hold outs to disappear as old people die out.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:11:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or even dumber "Oh, yeah, the 'everyone gets a medal' generation". Who was handing out the medals?!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:01:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But, not everyone has a kid. I don't have kids, I think parents are fucking idiots but so are their kids.
And, kids grow up and continue being morons and raise the next generation. So, it'll happen to everyone here, as well.
That shit is true though dumbass. Lol you ever been to a sport tournament of any kind?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:44:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, but we're not handing the medals to ourselves, at least we certainly weren't in school. It was our parents' pansy assed generation doing it, so if it's someone from the previous generation, or the one that raised it, who says it, more of a failing on their part really.
I am a millenial. lol If you can't take a step back and realize the vast majority of our generation are lazy and entitled- you are just as bad off as them.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:47:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't believe you. You talk too much like a baby boomer who only watches Fox News. Thankfully, society moves forward, one graveyard at a time.
As you grow older and mature, you will be more likely to lean conservatively and hold the same type of beliefs.
Society moving forward- that is quite rich. I'm sure you feel the growing gap between rich and poor is advancement? The rising costs of health care- with the cost of everything else dropping is moving forward? The only thing advancing in this country is the debt.
I suppose you believe yourself to be an intellectual and enlightened eh there Bacon Lord?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of those problems are created by baby boomers who don't have the decency to die already. A poisonous generation if there ever was one. Their parents gave them everything, and so they steal from their children.
Yes. I have. Multiple ones, and recently. Trophies and ribbons went to first, second, and third place. Occasionally, fourth and fifth if it was a large tournament of 20+ teams.
I've also supervised field days at my schools. Yes, every child gets participation ribbons, but only first, second, and third get actual medals. And when we give out end of the year awards, only a few kids get those. The only "award" that most students get is "Congratulations on advancing to the next grade!" And that's it. I have no idea where this idea that all school districts do this nowadays came from, but ffs it isn't true.
Especially back then when one could pay for college by working a summer job and not having to take out loans. Also, a lot of people back then didn't have college degrees so any degree would more or less get you a job where now, if you don't do some kind of STEM degree or business, good luck!
Back then you actually went to college to learn, as well. A degree wasn't a rubber stamp, most companies still had hiring exams you needed to pass to be considered. My mother had an accounting degree and had to take her company's exam when she applied, and from what I hear it was brutal.
You didn't need to go to college to get a job because if you could pass these harsh exams you clearly knew most everything that was relevant anyway. But hiring exams were declared discriminatory, so companies now require college degrees to get at least some indication that an applicant knows what they claim they do.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:41:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is this discriminatory? It seems even more discriminatory when you can't afford to go to college and no one will consider you for a job. If they still had exams like that you could have an actual chance at studying for it yourself. What the fuck?
Edit: Did anyone ever claim that it was discriminatory against college grads? If so...
Actually, for some reason we're starting Millenials is used by people to mean everything from people born in 2003 to people born in 1980. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millennials
The current young-ish crowd has it objectively far worse in every definable metric other than toys than their parents did. We have less money, everything is more expensive, jobs pay less, school costs more, jobs demand more, etc.
But people are really fucking awful at empathy, and understanding that experience is not universal. Older folks often see their children stumble over things that they found easy when they had to do it. But, they don't really consider how it was before. They remember "I worked and paid for school." Never mind that both are several times more expensive in relation to wages now. They say "I went and got a summer job." Never mind that those jobs pay minimum wage unless you're privileged. They say "I had a house at 30." Never mind that their job started with more money, their housing market was less competitive, and they had a type of security that doesn't exist anymore.
They say "It was easy when I did it," but forget that in doing so that they burned the bridge they used to get there, and we younger people now have to take the long way around. The baby boomers, via world circumstances, inherited the most powerful set of tools imaginable. Then they stripped them to the bone, left them in a closet to rust, and expect their children to make do. Never mind that their children have it harder than they ever did.
Except, of course, for shit like iPads. I'd rather have started a 25/hr job right out of college, than have every little stupid gadget I now find myself with. It would have made my life a hell of a lot easier.
Good point! They are not in power yet. I blame the baby boomers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love this. So much. How people accuse those that were in swaddling clothes when important political decisions were made were somehow responsible for the fallout...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
let me tell you, the "millennial to Snake People" extension for Chrome made reading this so much less frustrating.
erispie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahahaha, I forgot about an extension I had and have been trying to figure out if Snake People was a reddit term I hadn't twigged to yet. Nope, it's a silly extension I added and forgot.
Milleniels were people born from the early 80s tot he early 2000s. So some of us have been in the work force for a few years, FYI.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love my grandfather's opinion on this. He always says in a way only a grandfather can.
"you know, I always hear people talkin' about the good ol' day, well I'll tell you something about the good old days. They were shitty. Now in days people are nicer to each other, we have all this new technology that's keeps us in touch. I think people just remember it fondly because it was simple, now in days it's more complicated, but that's not a bad thing"
Exactly, like WHO RAISED US??? The current generation is a direct reflection of choices made by previous generations. Either adapt or blame yourselves.
"Really? Cause you raised us, so who's fault could that possibly be?"
Bonolio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same as the baby boomers being blamed for everything when most of them are just folk doing the best for themselves just like every other person on the planet.
FYI. Feel free to blame Gen X for whatever you want, we really don't give a fuck want you think.
Kraymur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I had a dime for everytime I heard a person 60 and older complain about how our generation is messed up. If have enough to buy a house in the economy they ruined.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sister and her friends all have smartphones now. This is because they see the adults using them and want them. You can't tell a kid they can't have a tablet or whatever and to learn to play outside if you're doing the opposite.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
most of the problems that older people are dealing with are the result of shit that happened while they were in diapers too.
Men make their own history, but they do not make it as they please; they do not make it under self-selected circumstances, but under circumstances existing already, given and transmitted from the past.
The tradition of all dead generations weighs like an nightmare on the brains of the living.
klop2031 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:36:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair its not totally their fault. The last generation can not be blamed for everyone's school loan problem. If you (not you specifically) don't like the interest on loans then just don't take them.
RuhWalde ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:02:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except that colleges have increased their tuition to keep pace with the amount of loans available, assuming that students will be able to pay the exorbitant rates with loans. So it is no longer possible to pay tuition without loans, unless your parents can pick up the bill. It is impossible to make enough money with a summer / part-time job.
Locke57 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:53:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me I needed to save all money from working a summer job if I wanted to go to college, so I saved and saved and saved and had 3000 bucks to my name. Paid half a semester. Woohoo.
klop2031 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not at minimum wage. What about working full time?
RuhWalde ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:20:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If I could have landed a full-time job at 18 that paid enough to cover all college expenses, I wouldn't have even bothered to go to college.
klop2031 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They were the ones in charge when the price of tuition skyrocketed. They were the ones voting and making decisions while college became indispensable and costs ballooned out of control and predatory lenders took over the lending and they were the ones who voted in the politicians who passed the law saying bankruptcy wouldn't settle college loans. It's their fault. We were presented with the option to either A) Take the loan or B) never get a good job. Also option A doesn't come with a good job necessarily either. But you kids and your cell phones jeez!
Seriously though, fuck the baby boomers.
klop2031 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can not go to college and somehow get a good, high paying job with benefits? What are you even talking about?
klop2031 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its very possible. In fact I personally know people who have done this. Don't get me wrong getting an education is very important. You also don't need to take out huge loans in order to do so. That's what I am saying. Do you think everyone who goes to get educated takes out loans?
GamerKey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think everyone who goes to get educated takes out loans?
Are we still talking about average people who don't have rich parents and/or a trust fund?
klop2031 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That stuff keeps coming out of people who have no place complaining about it, even if it were true. Oh, you resent kids today because when you were their age you behaved with respect? I was there in the same classes at the same school you were. You were just as much a douchenozzle asshole as the kids you complain about now.
I love seeing some people I went to high school with complain about "kids these days." I'm often tempted to comment about how they were the most disrespectful, lazy, confrontational assholes I've met to date when they were in school and they're not much more respectful, industrious, or mellow these days either. Holding everyone else up to a standard they never held for themselves. And note that these people I'm referring to have been out of high school for like five years. Some of them were complaining about "kids these days" a matter of weeks after they got their HS diploma.
nlaprise ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:47:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Self-reflection is not a skill many posess
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No more than any average joe....
Ashroda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:27:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just want to note that I'm loving the word 'douchenozzle' right now.
My grandpa is the worst about this. He was trying to generalize people my age and kept saying "of course you and your cousins are different". I asked him what other people my age he was interacting with to come to this conclusion, but he doesn't interact with any. Everyone he's met my age is an exception. I don't get it.
souIIess ยท 372 points ยท Posted at 15:47:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.
~Socrates
G_Morgan ยท 490 points ยท Posted at 16:11:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair Socrates never said that. It was invented in the 19th century to express the idea that people had been saying it about kids forever.
souIIess ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 16:19:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like you're right, but the quote still has some merit:
It was crafted by a student, Kenneth John Freeman, for his Cambridge dissertation published in 1907. Freeman did not claim that the passage under analysis was a direct quotation of anyone; instead, he was presenting his own summary of the complaints directed against young people in ancient times.
I think the idea is that throughout history the older generation has been saying the same thing about the younger generation. It's not this younger generation which is suddenly awful, the older generation has always had a disapproving attitude towards the younger generation.
Adasafa ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:38:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood why this was so. I'm guessing it's due, in part, to the fact that we have technology to help us along with a lot of the crap they used to have to put up with, and how much easier their lives would've been if they had it. The thing they don't realize is that, thanks to this technology, expectations have adjusted accordingly, and the things they used to do without the aid of technology are being replaced with things that we have to do thanks to the technology. We make something that makes life easier, and then we find something to replace what the technology fixed.
akaioi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is an interesting question . . .
Do you think that every generation of kids in all nations across all cultures across all time is exactly as disobedient as all the rest?
Color me dubious. Does culture, by which I mean kids' culture, really never change materially?
souIIess ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:48:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a saying where I'm from which I've often found quite accurate; the cow forgets that it ever was a calf.
I think that as we get older, we either forget or justify our own stupid behaviour then turn right around and judge our children for doing the same stupid stuff we did.
People love to hate on millenials etc, but of those that have interned where I work, I've seen only polite, kind and intelligent kids who are much more open and well informed than I ever was at that age.
nlaprise ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:57:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't like your uncle very much. Because he was listless doesn't mean you have to be. Set yourself goals and work for them, that will be more than he ever accomplished.
Good luck in college! What are you gonna study? Not sure what a community college is but why do you downplay it?
"When I was young I only had a plastic toy phone, kids nowadays have iphones." The twat said bitterely while holding their Samsung Nexus Galaxy S3000 Supreme Edition, that their mummy or daddy bought them.
When I hear that, it's a mixture of hilarity and fury.
nlaprise ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:44:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's totally awesome I'm just imagining the 7 y.o. chatting up his mates....
Eilstina ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:55:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's a product of the quick turnover for new devices. 20 years ago we didn't have nearly the tech we do today and millenials grew up with technology changing faster than anyone could keep up with it. Of course the 17 year old didn't have an iPhone at 7, because It didn't exist then. They probably would have had one had they actually been a thing when they were that age, that's why I never understood that analogy.
odie4evr ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 17 and this generation is pretty great. Accepting, connected, and worldly, we'll make the world better. Clean up all the shit the baby boomers left behind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And sometimes it's the 16-19 year olds that say this, pisses me right off.
I'm 17 and this generation is pretty great. Accepting, connected, and worldly, we'll make the world better. Clean up all the shit the baby boomers left behind.
...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:30:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with "When I was young, we"? That seems like a legit way to start decent stories.
nlaprise ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:47:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. You're telling a story not judging an entire age group.
ibbity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a legit way to start a story, not a legit way to start bitching about how terrible everyone under 30 is
Endulos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a difference between "When I was young, we used to go down to the local lake and <insert funny story>"
and
"When I was young, we weren't lazy shit like you were! We didn't have these new fangled vidja games! We had to go out and work the fields!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I took the title of the thread too seriously.
Yes it is. Even in school I hated the younger kids. After leaving I hated the highschool kids. When those kids joined me at College I started to hate the even younger. Now I hate the generation that's been born but doesn't play out side or climb tries and instead sits all day on there phone. Little girls dressing like sluts at birthday parties while trying to be hipster. I really do hate the younger generation, It's screwed up how much social networking has absobered them.
And I'm only 21, I can see the pattern unfolding, I don't blame the 70 year olds and 40 year olds who think their generation was better. I really do think my generation is better than the others. I think it's just the way the human brain likes to group together, even when it comes to humans we are ageist.
Especially when they are complaining that my generation is lazy.. Are some people in their early twenties lazy? Yes. But don't complain to me that, when I'm trying my hardest to pay my way through school. It's hard, I wish I was able to be lazy; instead, I never get a day off because I go to school full time, spend 40 hours a week working for free at clinicals and then work to try and make a little money.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep on the good work, don't let your elders put you down!
newloaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Typical Millennial.
nlaprise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.
-Socrates
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While it is certainly irritating to see such broad generalizations, isn't it fair to suggest that a person who is older would have more experience than one who is younger?
Again, broad generalizations are never smart, but when a evidence presents a solid majority, it's not that much of a stretch to consider the stereotype somewhat valid.
Haha. I'm 42, and this is just starting to become really common in my age group. It's so funny that they don't see what they are doing. They reject any music that's not from the 80s and 90s. They think the world is getting scarier and more dangerous. They reject new technology as pointless rather than acknowledging they are just avoiding learning something new.
If I have to read one more post about how we slid around the back seat without seat belts and turned out fine.
nlaprise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And no helmets while riding a bike!
What's funny i that my parents would be horrified if I was as lax as they were in the 70's...
poneil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One time I went to a lecture from Pulitzer prize winning biographer David McCullough, which was great, but he made a lot of "kids these days" remarks. And all I could think was that he's extensively researched the most successful and influential people in American history. Of course kids these days are going to seem unaccomplished.
No it's not okay to judge an entire generation based on your limited experience.
Why not? I judge the ever living shit out of the boomers. They are the ones who fucked most the shit up. Not that my generation has really helped or fixed anything, and the millennial kids aren't old enough to have influenced anything yet.
Of course not! I judge them based on giant quantities of data and analytics - just like marketing companies do.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on
the frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless
beyond words. When I was a boy, we were taught to be discrete and
respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise and
impatient of restraint.
--- Hesiod, Eighth Century B.C.
"The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of
today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for
parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as
if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is
foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest
and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress."
Who wrote that, and when do you think it was written?... it is an
extract from a sermon preached by Peter the Hermit in A.D. 1274! (Also attributed to Socrates)
"What is happening to our young
people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They
ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions.
Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?" -Plato
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Those who criticise our generation forget who raised it." - Unknown
calladus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:25:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Baby boomer here.
Our parents were convinced that we were all going to die of sex, drugs and rock and roll.
Or that we were possessed by demons for playing Dungeons and Dragons or going to rock and roll concerts.
"You listen to Stevie Nicks? Isn't she a witch? Isn't that inviting Satan into your life?"
or
"You listen to 'Hotel California'? You worship Satan, don't you! Admit it!"
It has been this way for as long as history has been recorded. The elders have always been displeased with the current youth.
Now you kids, Get off my lawn!
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah I remember the dungeon and dragons stuff, that was so silly....
Endulos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I laugh whenever I hear an older person go
"WELL WHEN I WAS A KID I DIDN'T SPEND ALL DAY IN DOORS! I WENT OUTSIDE AND HAD FUN!"
Yes, but when you were a kid, what the fuck was there to do inside? Television had just been invented, a lot of people didn't have it, and even in through the 60's and 70's, how much of that TV was dedicated or even appropriate for kids? Shit, you probably had like 5 channels max if you even had a TV!
The reality of the matter is you went outside because you HAD to go outside, not because you WANTED to. These days, kids have a HELL of a lot more stuff they CAN do indoors and still be entertained.
barto5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No it's not okay to judge an entire generation based on your limited experience.
Limited experience? Why I'm 68 years old, what the hell do you know about 'limited experience'?
Let me tell you something you little whipper-snapper, when I was your age...
cp24eva ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:19:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's going to be funny is when you get real old and remember this reddit post. At some point in time I think we all make the generational comparisons. Save this reddit post. Trust me. You will laugh later. lol.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh trust me I'm much better to see flaws in others than I am in finding minee...
Sure, I agree you shouldn't judge who people are by their age, but there are actual differences between people of different times. When my grandfather was a boy, every person he knew lived of a farm. When my mom was his age only half the people she knew lived on farms. I don't know any farmers. The way people live changes the way they act and what is "normal" to them. I always thought it was cool to learn about what life and customs were like from my elders.
To me this says "I have lost the ability to get to know individual people because I'm so out of touch"
phaqueue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair... I say this a lot in jest...
But the people who are serious, drive me up a fucking wall
nlaprise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just human nature, we all were guilty of it at some point but I piss myself off when I have those thoughts....
Being aware of our faults is the first step to being better
Cheers mate!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I had a dollar for every time a baby boomer complained about my generation, I'd be able to buy a house in this economy that they ruined.
Bohnanza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back in my day, it was more acceptable to generalize a generation since a lack of internet made communities more insular, thus reducing sample sizes.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Internet isn't gonna stop anyone from make these comments. As human we try to analyze situation by making relations that are as simple as possible, explanation that can fit in a short discussion.
Those same people get REALLY MAD when you say, "Well the baby boomers all want..."
Try it! Its fun.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will ;-)
dcux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not judge an entire generation, but when the internet didn't exist a generation ago, there are certainly significant differences to the childhood experience. Perhaps one of the most significant single generation changes we've seen.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In some aspect sure, I was born in the 70's and there are a lot of differences between the way I was raised and how it is now, however everyone still want the same thing as 40 years ago:
*Being loved
* being accepted,
* Getting a job
* etc....
As millennial myself I will admit a lot of my peers are idiots. I wouldn't go so far as to say all millennials are dumb, but very often I am disappointed with the way my peers act and think and I am definitely disappointed the direction we are taking society.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me tell you something: it was exactly the same 40 years ago.
I also hate it when kids from "this generation" say that they hate their generation. Like, calm down. You haven't even had the chance to fuck anything up too badly yet.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The sad truth : They're a completely average generation (as we were back then)
"When I was your age we used to go outside and ride bikes all day with our friends etc. not just sit inside playing computer games all day!"
"yeah, well maybe we would do that too if you didn't keep us locked inside because of dangerous roads and pedophiles"
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's terrible I know. I'm a parent and it's like we feel, we need to control every aspect of our kids lives (hint: we don't).
We sign them up for all kind of classes, feel obligated to play with them all the time... it's not always healthy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People my age (early 20s) say this and it pisses me off. We are not the lazy generation any more than any other generation was! My grandpa said the same thing about vietnam vets 30 years ago..
nlaprise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No you're not, if anything it's much harder for you guys than it was 20 years ago.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just laugh thinking about what my grandpa said. In the mid 80s there was apparently a parade celebrating the vietnam vets (maybe for memorial day or something? I didn't exist so I've only heard the story secondhand) and so my family was all together. My grandpa and his brother were grumbling about how they didn't complain about going to war (for them, world war 2) and they enlisted instead of getting drafted. The phrase "vietnam crybabies" came up at some point, and my dad's family still laughs about it 30 years later. Hating on an entire generation has got to be one of the least self-aware thing you can do.
nlaprise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good story indeed, shows you that it's they way of man.....
Especially when people share facebook pictures about how great their childhood was and how today's kids are too sheltered when they're the parents who wouldn't dream of letting their children do that shit
Now I feel like we should be talking about Rampart.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the opposite is fucking annoying too.
Im only 14 but I listen to this lol my generation is sooo stupid fuck justin bieber
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reason this generation may seem worse is because we're the first ones that get to document and share our stupidity online.
Also that when you look at the past and say "things were just better back then," especially when it comes to music, is because the crap got forgotten/broken, so the stuff that's left is the good stuff.
"We live in a decaying age. Young people no longer respect their parents. They are rude and impatient. They frequently inhabit taverns and have no self control." -- from an ancient Egyptian tomb
Just goes to show that humanity has always been this way.
I dated a guy recently who kept saying "back in my day...". He was 37. 7 years older than me. I don't know why it annoyed me so much, but it did. I just kept yelling "You're only 7 years older than me!" - I feel so young, I can't imagine saying "back in my day" about anything. This IS my day!
I just want to interject that this works both ways. Everyone seems to think the "older generation" is ignorant and otherwise wrong about an endless number of things. That's no fun either. A lot of those comments are just generalizations, based on what people's grandmas were like in the 80s. Many of us are not so uninformed.
The flip side is equally true. Head over to a sub like /r/politics and be amazed at all the hate directed at the boomer generation, for instance.
bumjiggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hit them back with "well, if we were raised properly, maybe..."
jcooli09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Book III of Odes, circa 20 BC, Horace wrote:
Our sires' age was worse than our grandsires'. We, their sons, are more
worthless than they; so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more
corrupt.
I stole this from Mental Floss, I couldn't find the one I half remember attributed to Aristotle.
This has always bugged me and has never been true. Each generation is largely like the last, and maybe a little bit better. Life has been steadily improving on Earth for thousand and thousands of years.
I'm 50 and recognize that those young men showing their underwear will create a better world.
The one that shows up on Facebook all the time is, "Kids today don't play in the street like we did."
First of all, yes they fucking do. I saw some kids doing it recently. Secondly, you aren't supposed to play in the fucking street! Do you want to get run over?
I generally agree, but there's a few times where people said this, and actually followed it with astute observations, and did actually seem to help them understand the newer generation.
So only in certain contexts will those words bother me.
I only use those because I'm 23 and I tell kids that are at least 9 years younger than me that "When I was your age, Pluto was still a planet!" I don't really use it other than that.
Mine is, "people these days always seem to [negative action]" no, people have been the same since the beginning of time, fashion and trends just make it look different.
The response to this is: My generation was raised by YOUR generation.
nancyaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was your age, Pluto was a planet! All joking aside, I don't think it's cool to paint an entire generation with the same brush. I've met amazing people from all generations. As the Jackson 5 sang (wow, I'm dating myself): A few bad apples don't spoil the whole bunch, girl.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These kids these days with the music and the hair..
-- Said Every Generation Ever About People 20 Years Younger
Sure, but you can do comparatives as long as they're not judgemental.
Example: I'm Gen-X. I was talking to a Millenial a few days ago, and he commented how hard it must have been to have to use computers with only 64k of RAM. I told him to mark my words, that 20-25 years from now, he'd be on the other side of the conversation, with some twenty-year-old saying how hard it must have been to have "only" 16 gigs.
...and that's how you do it without being judgemental or confrontational. Generations have a lot to learn from each other. That includes the older learning from the younger. You can't do that if you can't compare notes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All generations are shit before they grow up, period. Snarky little brats always have been a pain.
That's so weird. I've never heard these terms before. I honestly thought it supposed to be in reference to MMOs.
[deleted] ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 17:14:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it just because people say this so much? Because I'm having trouble seeing why it's negative to look at a good relationship and think "yes, I would like to have a good thing like that."
Novaer ยท 146 points ยท Posted at 17:57:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picture of a guy kissing a girl on the forehead
RELATIONSHIP GOOOAALLLSSS
anu26 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:48:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god it's like looking at Buzzfeed on reddit. Usually it's the other way round.
just because people say this so much? Because I'm having trouble seeing why it's negative to look at a good rela
I think it's from places like Instagram of Facebook, where you'll have hundreds (if not thousands) of girls commenting "goals" whenever someone are posting pictures of couples, etc.
Whenever something is done to death, it becomes really fucking annoying.
There's a certain amount of parallel to the idea of "friend zone." It's setting a goal based around appearances and objectification instead of trying to actually build a relationship with a real life human.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree. If someone sees something they want and will work for it, it's a goal. Relationship goals aren't excluded from that, they just require two people to work for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? They're both incredibly rich and successful people who have a daughter that they clearly care about and another kid on the way. Doesn't seem that crazy to me.
Honestly, I kinda respect the shit out of the Kardashians. They built up this mini-empire with a sex tape and the remnants of an old murder trial. How many celebrity personalities have come out of nowhere for the public to obsess over, simply to fade into obscurity in a couple months to a couple years? All the Paris Hiltons and Tila Tequilas we've seen but don't remember. We're closing in on 8 years since that sextape and not only are people still obsessing over Kim, but they're also obsessing over her entire family. It's not easy keeping people's attention for that long.
Kudos to them for knowing how to milk this shit. It's no accident that people are still paying attention to them.
Anything "goals" really. I can't even really articulate why it annoys me so much
will05 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:35:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What bothers me is that the type of person to post these "goals" are usually doing jack shit to reach them, and are instead just sitting on their ass wondering why life isnt like in the "goal" posts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's worse when people apply it to photos of themselves and their friends. Like, what the fuck does that even mean?
You and your boyfriend doing something together is "relationship goals", but who for? You? In that case, you've already accomplished your goals so what the fuck are you even talking about?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone has relationship goals but no body knows how a relationship goes.
I have literally no idea what you're even talking about. Do you think you could clarify? I don't feel like reading the rest of the replies because the first 20 or so either mean nothing to me or contain some bagel reference.
yungun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the worst is when people say goals when it's happening. like they get hugged by a kid who loves them and they're like "goals." well it just happened so goal achieved
Nymaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dear Nymaz, you just read this guy's first phrase as "squid goats", you're tired, go to bed. Also the fact that you're talking to yourself in your own comment is worrying.
MrMeltJr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. I spent a semester in on-campus dorms, and the dorm leader or whatever it's called was super enthusiastic about it. She had this meeting with all the dorms (4 to a dorm) about our goals for the dorm, whatever that means. She asked us for some ideas, and we all sat around for a minute or so, thinking stuff like "bitch, I pay my rent and take out my trash and everything, I have shit to do."
Evebtually, one of my roommates says "well, I guess I'd rather not see any of your dicks this semester." We chuckle (she sits their awkwardly) and another roommate says "well I'm gay so I wouldn't mind." We laughed, she ended the meeting early and never brought it up again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After reading your "Squad Goals" comment, Taylor Swift just wrote a song about you...
They just think they're too good for those words so obviously anyone who uses them is stupid. It's the same thing as hating the words yolo and swag used to be, except these ones aren't even half as bad.
Dozerdoy ยท 878 points ยท Posted at 15:37:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Dude calm down"
I was fucking calm until you said this shit.
[deleted] ยท 251 points ยท Posted at 16:34:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Are you mad about something?"
"No."
"Because it seems like you're mad about something."
Telling people to calm down is very rarely helpful, but as the child of someone who was raised in an abusive household, I picked up on that heightened sensitivity to people's emotions and I'm always concerned if someone's mood seems "off." I try to be extremely gentle and considerate about it, but if I'm having trouble reading you, I'll definitely ask "Is everything okay? I don't want to bug you, but let me know if anything is bothering you. I'm here to help."
Related to your example, I feel like this is a much better way of addressing potential concerns than unsubtly hinting about someone seeming mad...
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:35:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do what you're describing, too. And for the same reason.
"You alright?"
"Yes" (they are clearly not)
"Okay."
The difference is, my example is accusatory, while what we do is just a passive offer to talk.
erispie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm similar (though abuse wasn't from home, thank glob), any time I ask someone this it always turns out valid.
The manperson I'm close with has a stressed/tired face that's very similar to his I'M REALLY IRRITATED ABOUT SOMETHING face, and I cannot tell the difference sometimes. AFAIK I have never bothered him with asking. Well also he actually answers me, there's never a "NOTHING!" sort of answer.
Ditto. As a kid I got the "why are you sad/mad" questions all the time and didn't know why until I looked in the mirror. Apparently I have Resting Bitch Face. I trained my face to wear a more neutral expression and it worked for a few years, until I went to college and got chronically stressed out. Frowny face returned and I have to retrain all over again. Sigh.
Fact: Just today my two co-workers and I were walking down to look at a new office space we'd just acquired. Some asshole backs his car up over the sidewalk without looking and clips two of us. No injuries, but the closest colleague bangs on the trunk of the car (because it's a completely open sidewalk in a metropolitan area and this fucknugget just backs right up over it) and we're all three yelling, like "Hey, what the hell, man! Watch where you're going! We're right here!"
Dude turns around, sees three women, laughs derisively, and says "Wow, calm down."
I thought my co-worker was going to pull him out of his car and start beating his ass right there in the street. We would have sworn that nobody saw a thing.
In my experience, people who are angry and get angrier at being called out are people with anger issues. But then again, I've never heard this used on someone who wasn't angry.
DOZERDOY, you are causing a raucous! You just need to caaalm dooown.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bro calm down
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
alternatively "why are you angry/ so angry"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When my husband tells me to calm down it immediately makes me flip out. :/ never has a phrase had such an opposite effect of its intent on humans than this one.
If you get worked up about that, you may have anger issues and may not have seemed calm, causing the request from your friend.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's fun to do to a person you're arguing with, same with calling them ma'am if it's a dude, and sir if it's a woman. Nothing gets people more pissed off.
GV18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also "why are you annoyed?" I wasn't until you asked me 50 times.
Which doesn't really make sense to me. If my girlfriend is getting all heated about something and I say "you need to calm down" it means "you are getting disproportionately upset about this and I'm not putting up with that shit". I'm not gonna be bitched at for no good reason, lady!
goomy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:40:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ugh this reminds me of this one time that I needed to get shots because a stray cat bit me.
doc: 'so was the cat under observation or a street cat?'
me: 'a street cat, we took it to the vet after cause it was hurt'
doc: 'so it's under observation'
me: 'yeah, but he was abandoned in the street'
doc: 'but I asked if he was under observation'
me: 'well you asked if he was a street cat and he is, but he's at the vet now'
doc: 'woah calm down'
me: 'I AM CALM YOU PIECE OF SHIT DON'T YOU TELL ME TO BE CALM I'M CALM AS FUCK'
jackwald ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:49:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna upvote this comment to infinity
Quack445 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:04:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use that phrase and the word "Think" often when my friends are frustrated. If you pause and think, you will realize just how overemotional you are. Hate the phrase as much ad you want, but if someone tells you to calm down, think about why you are being angry
That would not work on me. Not in a hundred years.
Telling me to calm down would work better than telling me to think. 'Calm down' is implying I'm angry, or at least irritated, which I probably am so I'd have no beef with that. Telling me to 'think' is pretty much you calling me an idiot.
Quack445 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you thinking clearly when you are furious? I know I'm not. Being told to think helps me realize the pointlessness of my anger
Probably not. I know I'll be thinking less clearly after that though
i_ANAL ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:57:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh I like to do that intentionally. Having an argument and say "calm down" to make them more angry, straight faced. It's winning. A little curl of a smile too. I work with some real assholes so have to take pleasure in this
i_ANAL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:51 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit I could read between those lines :P
If people want to be racist (yes I do work with such people) and I call them inbred fucks whilst remaining calm, I feel no guilt at all winding them up further.
[deleted] ยท 4745 points ยท Posted at 15:58:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I took a human development class to fulfill a psych requirement. I did it over the summer and I was the only non-parent in the class. The first 4 weeks were concerned with development from age 0 days-5 years.
The professor, a woman with a PhD in psychology, couldn't get even a sentence out without someone raising their hand and saying "Well, I have a two year old and as his mother, I don't think what you said is correct because...." After 3 classes, the prof put a ban on "discussion of the lecture" because she couldn't even teach because all these people thought that just because their hellchild wasn't meeting milestones, the theory was wrong.
EDIT: Worse than the parents who were disregarding theory because of delayed children were parents who used the course to brag about their advanced children. "Babies don't have object permanence till 3 years of age? Well my daughter is three months old and she already has object permanence! My 3 year old can read already!"
[deleted] ยท 3934 points ยท Posted at 16:18:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would literally have a fucking stroke from stress in that class.
Just gotta sit back, crack open a cold one, and hope it doesn't knock the trees over on Prince of Wales drive again haha. And thank god I'm not a football fan, because I'd be really depressed by the Riders. How're the Stamps doing?
As a mother I think public masturbation is perfectly normal and we shouldn't shame people into hiding their natural urges.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:40:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the sight of engorged male genitalia to a new mother that doesn't belong to the father of her most recent child will turn most women catatonic. Unless it's a full moon.
Dude, some people in some classes literally won't shut the fuck up.
You can't learn from the professor how to take a line integral? LEARN IT FROM THE TEXTBOOK YOU FUCKIN' TWAT.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:38:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm doing a nursing degree and the amount of former nursing assistants who pull that shit Is ridiculous. Yes your 5 years of experience is useful but it's not really applicable to the litigation process used in a sectioning.
Also you just replied to two of my comments within the space of 2 mins. Spoo key key key.
I have the same feeling as a biologist in ANY psych class I have to take. The girl next to me read one article about evolution and would misquote the theory constantly. One day I just couldn't anymore, she got told in the middle of class that every single thing she's said about evolution has been directly contradictory to the real science behind it. She didn't sit next to me anymore after that.
thunnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine being an antinatalist who believes that people who have children are worse than rapists. I would have snapped and started killing them.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:24:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not entirely sure what you mean
Linearts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:29:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think /u/Dont_Ban_Me_Br0 is saying that dont_ban_me_br0 an antinatalist and thus would want to kill /u/sakana-no-ko's classmates if dont_ban_me_br0 were in sakana-no-ko's place in that class. (Couldn't think of a non-awkward, non-ambiguous way to phrase that sentence.)
phaqueue ยท 1378 points ยท Posted at 17:28:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was in an adult degree program, and this frustrated me to no end sometimes...
Yes - I understand you're 40 years old, and a parent and etc and I'm a 25 year old "kid" - but stop acting like I haven't actually had any life experiences in the 25 years I've been alive... I've worked full time jobs in a variety of fields, I've been a soldier (a medic) in the US Army... Just because you have lived longer doesn't mean I have no valid input...
SO many of those people in adult degree programs...
Curls0412 ยท 1678 points ยท Posted at 19:05:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh my parents do this all the time. "Oh you're just a college student with no real life experience. Oh, you researched some place we've never been and want to go there? And saved up the money? That's preposterous. How would you, a person younger than us, understand how to plan for a trip somewhere? Though I know nothing about where you're going I've deemed it unsafe."
Ireland. I'm going to Ireland.
[deleted] ยท 1167 points ยท Posted at 19:52:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You enjoy the fuck out of Ireland.
Edit:Damn people, you guys really like Ireland. Who doesn't, though?
No. That was just a joke that backfired; I was trying to play on how the poster above said that his parents automatically assumed that whatever place he was going to was unsafe.
Irish fairy tales are the most terrifying. "He looked at them again, and perceived that there wore about twenty little men in it, and there was not a man at all of them higher than about three feet or three feet and a half, and some of them were grey, and seemed very old. He looked again, but he could not make out what was the heavy thing they were carrying until they came up to him, and then they all stood round about him. They threw the heavy thing down on the road, and he saw on the spot that it was a dead body."
And he looked again, and he was just pissed, and it was his mates Gary and Donal and Fishface, and they were pissed too and so was the body which was really just Michael who had passed out.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:25:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the thing. Life is like climbing a ladder. I'm reading comments around here and laughing my ass off at people in their early twenties bowin' up like their an adult now. Yeah. Right.
I don't think people get it until about 30. That's when you look around, you're 30, you're married, you've got a house, you've got kids, and you still remember exactly what it's like to be 12.
I wish I was 30. And when you're as old as me, you'll realize I am not. You guys are hilarious.
VAPossum ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:55:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate the idea that you're supposed to hit your 30's with the social uniform of a house, kids, and spouse all in order. I mean, if that's what a person wants, go for it, but not having those things doesn't mean you're any better for it.
Hang on one second. In terms of being an "adult," making a conscious decision to do or not do these things count pretty equally. Just don't make the mistake of being 25, and thinking, "Oh, my asshole parents have no idea what it's like," and stop and realize, they were 25 once, and they remember it like it was yesterday. They've just got another 25 years of experience on top of that. I kind of understand when teenagers and children don't "get" their parents, but when they're 25, they either need to be understanding their parents or disconnecting from their parents.
There's another mistake not to make: Make sure you don't go thinking every 50 year old is an adult. A lot of them are still children, but the catch 22 is that if you were raised by them, you probably are too, so I guess take that one with a grain of salt. :)
Things change in 25 years. They know what it was like to be 25 25 years ago. Which is a fantastic point of reference, and a valuable resource, but by no means gives them perfect, infallible knowledge of what it's like now.
I didn't realize that knowing that things change over time made me a special snowflake, that's neat! I figured that was kinda common knowledge.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:21:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that shit. I hope you have a great time in Ireland.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:21:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IRELAND IS FULL OF LEPRECHAUNS AND UNICORNS DUDE. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE SCI FI CHANNEL MOVIES. THOSE ARE THE TWO THINGS YOU GOTTA STAT AWAY FROM. YOU ARE A CHILD WHO DOESNT KNOW THE DANGER. YOUR PARENTS ARE RIGHT
KazPart2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:37:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
don't listen to warnings about leprechauns. They all went to space.
Slatara ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:32:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am Irish and I love stupidly safe my country is. No poisonous animals, low crime rate, stable if slightly incompetent government, no natural disasters of any real severity and the guards are usually pure sound lads.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:28:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa Whoa you get could like caught up in the IRA!!! Or I don't know meet Gerard Butler, less dangerous but he''ll beat the pussy up from what I hear.
bassrose ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:50:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck your parents and go in Ireland, trust me. Met some Irish dudes online 5 years ago. Got pissed off last December at work and decided to take a vacation. Bought a plane ticket and an emergency passport, then called my parents to let them know I'm going to stay with dudes I met online in Ireland in two weeks. You can imagine how that went over. Of course I went anyways and it ended up being the best week of my life! So moral of the story, screw your parents and do it anyways!
Try explaining this to my catholic family, even though i have ensure proper care for my children, I am not allowed to go away without them, motherfuckers i need a break too.
GraharG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
irelands nice, enjoy your visit
hariador ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, you're parents may very well be wrong. But just remember (You actually won't because that's how this works) you don't actually know half the shit you think you know, you simply lack the perspective of having lived long enough.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I got back, my Dad was asking me the routine "How was your trip, the flight, the food, etc" Then he asked me, "So do they speak Finnish in Finland or what?"
Chem1st ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still get the whole "Remember to..." from my dad. I have to take my car in for repairs. "Yes dad, I know to ask them to check the fluids, yes I'm getting the oil changed, yes...please can we just talk about something else."
benzooo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you. I was 19 when me and my best friend went to Vancouver to see the Olympics (we're from the U.S. so still the same landmass). We saved up and did it as cost-effectively as we could (both in college then), but my parents wee so supportive and asked nicely interested questions. I'm sorry your parents have a hard time grasping that you are now making decisions like a mature adult, but you got this. :)
I'm going to Italy next summer (yay!) and my dad told to "watch out over there. They aren't civilized like we are you might get snatched up murdered or raped."
Same here. For me it's New York. Except in my case part of her reasoning was "you shouldn't go on a trip if your BOYFRIEND can't go!!!!!"
It's been a fun week in New York and I'm heading home tomorrow :)
ZombyTed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was a high school scuba class that ended with a trip to Bermuda or the Bahamas, something like that. Had my own job and money for it. Dad talked me out of it, "you've never been good at swimming" or something like that. Yeah, thanks dad, that's the point of the class.
Been snorkeling a few times now, fucking loved it. Really wish I'd taken that trip.
I went to Jamaica. The " tour bus delivered safely to a perfect resort " Jamaica.
My mother in law flipped her shit thinking we were going to be mugged daily , raped nightly , and forced to inject marijuana into our veins in between
I had an issue a while back with my mom on my case packing for a trip, because she had issues with what I was/wasn't bringing until my dad finally said that i probably know what I'm doing, since I'd traveled internationally a few times and she never has
My MIL does this. Especially regarding child rearing. Listen, lady, I have three kids and you only had the one. I've done this shit more times than you.
ugh this. and it's not even generational. I had an ex who was just like that and there was only a 3 month age difference between us. After we graduated college, he started his career/full-time job and I went back to graduate school. Whenever he'd try to talk to me about a problem at work he would always end with "but you're just a student and you couldn't understand the dynamics of the workplace".
Excuse the rant I'm going to have here for a second, but this reminded me of something that happened recently.
My mom drove to a different state to visit a dog breeder recently and is kind of notoriously anxious in general and a lot of this manifests with driving, especially in unfamiliar areas and when cars are moving quickly.
Around 8am I get a phone call from her, answer it, and she's immediately scream-crying into the phone that she's lost and had to pull over and all these maniacs are driving too fast and she's in a "national park" parking lot off of interstate "41 or 17 or 189 or 72 or something I don't know." She then asks for helping getting back to her hotel. I point out that I have no idea where she is, so it's difficult to give directions when I don't know the starting point. I further point out that she is calling me using a brand new smart phone which has GPS and google maps.
She tells me she is "having a panic attack and dying" and berates me for "not helping."
I log into her gmail account (my e-mail is the "recovery" account for hers), use that to access her device location history, and get an approximate location, then tell her I can give her directions as soon as she gets to an intersection so I know exactly where she is. I calm her down a bit, tell her I'm happy to stay on the phone until she gets to her destination (she's only like 15 minutes away).
She then gets out of the car, walks half a mile down the road to some sort of rest stop / convenience store, and starts talking to some random wisconsinite about how to get to her hotel. While I'm on the phone. While I'm looking at fucking satellite imagery of her location. She insists on putting me on speaker phone to talk to this very kind convenience store attending who regrettably has a very thick accent that I can barely understand. She also purchases a paper map (those still exist apparently), and has him draw directions on it. He gives her directions which are acceptable but still kind of stupid because there's an easier way per google fucking maps, but I'm done arguing. She spends close to half an hour in this store, and ends up talking to this gas station attendant about his fucking nephew who maybe spent 20 whole minutes 5 years ago driving through a town that is roughly close to the town she lives in.
She then walks back to car, insists on having me stay on the phone to give her directions (what was the point of the hand drawn fucking map then? I could have done that an hour ago!) and then gets upset, starts crying again when I call a street by a different name than the one the gas station attendant did because it's both a county highway and an interstate, and has another rant about the maniacs that drive too fast.
She finally arrives at her destination, intact, having turned what should have been a 20-30 minute trip into a two hour ordeal for herself, me, and the gas station attendant.
Two days later she did the exact same thing on the way out of the state. When she pulled over to ask a fucking roadside antique store owner in the middle of nowhere how to get to her hometown I told her that if she actually wants my help to call back once she is in the car and ready to move.
Yesterday, I get told that taking the public transportation in my hometown after 9pm is unsafe and that I'll get mugged. When I point out that it's not and I'm not going to pay for a cab anyway and I've demonstrated better survival skills than she has by virtue of knowing how to use a smart phone and not stopping to talk to random fucking strangers, she breaks down in tears and asks why I can't just stay in (like what? all the time?) so she doesn't have to worry about me, because it's so stressful. I point out that in the future I could just not mention that I'm out of my apartment and will be taking the train back, at which point I get called ungrateful, she complains that "no one ever worries about me" and "why can't anyone ever worry about what makes me happy."
I was cleaning out my parents fridge while visiting during college, and (admittedly) went off on them about how many containers of one type of food they had. Like... four jars of mayo, three mustard bottles, two pickled ginger, and a partridge in a pear tree...
And I lived in a big house with three separate "family units" who had their own food, and we managed to keep our kitchen clean and share condiments and cooking oil and seasoning and stuff...
Somehow I didn't understand what it was like to live in a house where ONE family consolidates groceries and meals,
Because I was a broke person in college,
Or whatever,
And in spite of hearing my whole life how I didn't understand money or handling money or worrying about money, now I was being told I didn't understand having money to buy food and that's why they had to waste so much rotting food piled behind seventeen jars of condiments and spices someone bought because they were on sale or whatever.
Went to 6 countries in Europe for a month. All first world countries. Ireland was hands down the best. Friendliest people, awesome scenery, awesome people, cool people. Did I mention I liked the people there?
I was being extremely facetious. From what I gather, Irish people hate when Americans say stuff like, "My great-grandsomething had an Irish-sounding name, therefor I'm practically Irish, too!"
Ordering an Irish Car Bomb or whatever its called is in very poor taste and will NOT be met with smiles.
Definitely have an awesome trip. Probably don't kiss the Blarney Stone, though - that's either a good way to get Herpes, or a TheOnion article I thought was real.
There's this thing about it making you clever or lucky, or someshit, if you lick it, so a lot of tourists thinks it's something they just have to do in order to get the full experience of their trip. Kind of like how tourists just have to see Big Ben when in London, The Statue of Liberty in NY, and such.
But the thing is; the locals piss on that stone to fuck with the tourists :D
Wow, I am 19 and told my mom I'm thinking of going to Dublin with my friends (so another country than mine). She said "cool" and did not care at all. I think she just wants me out of the house as much as possible.
I went to Korea over the last summer (South, not North) and my mother freaked out about how I was going to get caught by the Communists and never get to come back to the U.S. Wat?
spm615 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DO IT. 2 years ago I left one job and had a week free until I started the next one. At 2am I bought a ticket to Dublin and was on a plane by 6. My parents called me 10 minutes before the plane took off and both tried to convince me not to go. It was one of the best experiences of my life.
Highlights: The Dublin hop on/hop off bus tour. Try to find buses that are narrated by the actual guides though, not the recordings.
Giant's causeway in Northern Ireland (convert a few bucks into pounds for that trip though)
Black taxi tour in Belfast
Meeting people in the hostel rooms
O Neills pub, Dublin. Have some lamb stew and guiness in a 250 year old bar
Oh and Temple Bar is a trap. Go have a drink there so you can say you've done it, then promptly find a bar that doesn't charge you 8 euros a drink.
I'm far too tired to be getting angry over a stranger on the internet
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where in Ireland? I've always wanted to live in Ireland. I mean, those rocky valleys? Come on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard the IRS lives there
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Newsflash. Your parents were 20 something at some point in their life and they didn't believe their parents when they told them they didn't know shit from shinola. Your parents now realize their parents were right and someday you will as well.
I feel for you, I was a TA for a bio lab at my college when i was 19, and when my students (a quarter of whom were in their 30's) found out I was 19 flipped a shit. 2 of em dropped the course immediately.
The following class 2 of the other 'adults' weren't listening whatsoever, and talking over me. Before I could say anything or tell them to leave, one of the other remaining adult students just screamed at them to 'shut the fuck up, he's obviously teaching us for a reason and if you dumbasses would listen, you'd know he's actually trying and knows what he's talking about!' and that was that.
Kids, unless they're really little, politely follow along behind their parents. Sometimes they're laughing it running, but no problem. Teenagers gossip loudly, but they almost always smile back and are friendly. But older middle aged people are always grumpy.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:36:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After a point, most people stop improving and start settling into their ways and prejudices.
Being an adult means you've had more time to grow, but you've also had more time to become an asshole.
Good on that other guy. - I am an "mature student" and all my TA's are younger then me. I listen to them, because obviousely they have taken the course I am taking right now before me, they know what is going on, they are farther advanced in their degrees. - I mean, it's not as if they are trying to tell me how to live my life, they are just teaching me in those courses. - which they are more knowledgable in then me!
A while back we knew a college lecturer who was giving some talk to various managers from the local council or something. Guys that thought they were important, anyway. The talk was about the importance of science, of taking science into account in decision making. It was aimed at these bureaucratic types but the public could attend so we went along to support our friend.
Anyway, just sitting at the back you could tell the council managers were all nodding and "hem"ing and "ah"ing like they knew all this stuff anyway and were just sort of condescending to agree with this unimportant minion who was talking to them. It must have been obvious to our friend giving the talk as well. So he stopped his talk and asked my three year old son to come out to the front with him. Knowing our family pretty well he then asked my son what gravity was. My son had a rough grasp of the concept and explained it as best a three year old could. Then the lecturer turned to the audience and said "This toddler knows more than you lot. You know why? Because he doesn't think he knows everything and so he's open to learning, he wants to learn. You're not interested in learning, you just want to impress everyone with how learned you appear to be. And so you're dumber than a three year old."
There were a lot of red faces in that audience but I noticed there were a lot fewer heads nodding and a lot less hemming and ahing after that. Maybe they managed to learn something.
Pointing out that he doesn't know everything was one of the first things the professor I worked for would mention to his students. He also made sure the TA's were aware they didn't know everything either.
I was impressed with his balls, effectively insulting the guys he was there to talk to. He was totally right and I was glad to see those pompous arseholes get put in their places but it must have taken guts to do it. I'm guessing that was a source of income he just lost (don't know if academics get paid for that sort of thing or not).
I went through that when I first became a TA, because I was obviously younger than most of the students, and gasp a female. They thought it was a joke that I was teaching... so I became a total fucking bitch; told my students that I was in the TA position because I knew a hell of a lot more about the subject than they did, and probably ever will.
I don't know if that statement was even true, but it worked. I had no more problems with that set of students, and since then, I've adopted a commanding attitude that doesn't even warrant that disclosure.
It's all about how you carry yourself! It doesn't matter how competent you are, if you don't act confidently (and sometimes commandingly) then people will see weakness or start to make assumptions. One of the first rules of teaching is to start out strict and a hardass and only ease up once you have their respect and attention.
Of course, if you're incompetent then it'll only forestall the inevitable lack of respect.
In my case I stayed the strict, hardass all throughout my 3 years, I actually had a reputation going.
One of the best feelings as a TA (and I'm sure for teachers in general) was when I had 2 of my students get a hold of me a year later to thank me. Apparently my hardassedness is what prepared them for things beyond their first semester.
I slowly drop the act by halfway through the year, sometimes earlier. I don't actually like being inflexible with my students and I don't think it's productive or conducive to a constructive classroom environment beyond a certain point. I like laughter and a good bit of fun in my classroom, and I like that my students are comfortable asking me for extensions when they need it; but in order to have all those things and still be productive they first need to know what's acceptable and what isn't, and to be quiet and attentive when I need them to be. It's hard to cultivate that without being strict, but once it's established I find I can ease up and they don't lose it, so long as you've earned their respect.
I teach high school, though, which is very different from college. I was also strict all semester when I TA'd in grad school. College kids are less sensitive and more independent than high schoolers. I never had to deal with the age thing, though; since I was a grad student I was older than all but a few of my students and I came from more of a default position of authority.
meglolz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:52:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm being trained to be a supervisor at an event venue. I am fully prepared to be asked "where is your supervisor" and then scoffed at when I explain that I am the supervisor.
Hahaha, oh god I hate that question too. At a previous job I'd fill in for the supervisor on occasion, and a how much lip I'd get from the other employees was unbelievable.
I was working in a call centre and occasionally I'd do floor support/supervisor shifts, especially on late shifts. Telling people that I normally am a supervisor and the only reason I'm on the phone is because it's so busy normally shut them up.
edifyyo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She wound up with one of the higher averages in my class, and I think overall in the course. She'd come to office hours, email for help, and actually ask questions. I admit she struggled a bit, but it was so satisfying helping her reach that big A-ha! Moment during one of our pre-exam study/Q&A sessions I'd put together in my free time for my class.
I'm far from 19, but the different respect levels that people give you when they assume your age are insane. I teach at a university, where I teach mostly first year students. They often come into class thinking I'm a similar age to them and act like shitheads, talking over me during a lecture, arriving late to class, etc. The second they find out I'm in my 30s, everything changes. Suddenly, I'm an expert and other students are yelling at others to be more respectful and my word is law, no debate whatsoever. I now just make sure to play two truths and a lie with them on the first day of class as an ice breaker and include my real age as one of the guesses just to let them know right away to respect my age. In the country I live in, age is very important to the amount of respect given.
That man is a saint! I teach a night school program about CNC machining and I'm 22 now. I started at 20 and I still catch flak from the guys in class that are 20+ years older than me. So I ask them why they are here to learn this trade and most of the time they say they are sick of working part time jobs at restaurants. I don't even have to say another word because they realize how ridiculous their speculations are about my age.
I think it's because they're secretly jealous of what you've accomplished or could accomplish. I feel like people who criticize younger people like this it's because they feel shitty about their own accomplishments and aren't happy with themselves so they project their frustration at younger people.
Yep. If you're both in the same place, yet person A is 20 years older, what does that say about person A?
They're 20 years behind.
Bound to make people insecure.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or they're starting a new hobby and have no idea what they're doing.
emmypem ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:30:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
completly agreee. I hate genius children for this reason!
DethNik ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:22:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand this type of thing. I always get: "you're young, you're not ALLOWED to be tired." Uh...I work six to eight hours a day in a fast paced environment that I have to commute to on top of all the other stuff that I've crammed into my life. I think I'm allowed to be tried. Even if I didn't have to deal with all that our it would still be annoying to hear.
Yeah I was working 10-11 hour days with a commute of 1 hour on each end and I got this from some of the older employees. Like, I get they had a ton more obligations and every right to be tired, but just because I'm young doesn't mean I can't be tired.
I didn't aim to replace all my blood with coffee like some people in that office
Zoura ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:28:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can tell you it doesn't get any better though. I'm nearing 40 and we had our kid young. (we were 20) I still get told that "oh you're still a baby" by other parents whose kids are the same age as mine. It seems no matter how old you are, there's some fuck who thinks that you're an idiot because they've been here 10yrs longer than you and that makes them superior.
phaqueue ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:39:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I especially love the ones who are 40, and have say, worked in a factory their whole lives, and haven't really ever traveled away from home more than a few hours, but who have far more experience than I do,
even though I've been a lot of different places, worked a multitude of different jobs in different industries...
That extra 10 years of doing the same thing in the same place gives you so much more experience in how the world works right?
Had one of those in my undergrad program. She was a recovering addict, which, good for her for getting clean, but she seemed to lord her age and "experience" over us. The rest of us didn't have to try crack to figure out it's bad for us.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:47:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not just in those programs, they're everywhere.
That's why I tend to not bring up my age in most discussions, because I could have someone think an idea of mine is awesome, but as soon as they discover I'm a little more than half their age, it's like I just shit my pants.
Like, do these people not remember how they hated that shit too? Or did they just go along with it?
This is so dumb. I'm 40 and I always try and surround myself with people who are smarter than me. I don't give a rat's fuck if you are 25 or 65. If you can bring value to the team you are more than welcome. I live by the saying, "If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:22:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I'm not saying every person 30+ is guilty of it, but there are quite a few people like that. And the same goes for people younger than myself. As long as it's a good plan and it can get shit done, then it's all good. Just like anyone can be stupid at any age, anyone can have really good ideas. It just takes time to find them.
Oh, I know what you meant. I was just expressing frustration at the idiocy some of my peers exhibit. I imagine they suck at what they do and are afraid of being replaced by someone hungrier, smarter, and younger
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience most people just give you that look like you're some kind of puppy and they say "Oh you're just a young pup!" And then they just do what they want.
It's a bit annoying. I know most older adults are cool and I can have a meaningful conversation with most of the ones I interact with. It's the ones that look back at their high school and college years and say "Oh, I was a fucking moron when I was their age! Surely they must not know better either!"
Sorry. I just get a little heated with the matter. It tends to happen quite a bit.
I'm starting school right now after 4 years in combat arms and a deployment to Afghanistan. I've been to more countries than schools half these kids I'm in classes with now and they look at me like I'm slow or behind the power curve for starting school at 23. Going to lose it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:34:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I'm in the same boat basically, and most of the kids I go to school with think I'm sort of wise and intelligent person who is also a black-belt ninja who could 1v1 John Rambo.
It doesn't end in the adult degree programs. I am 26 and the same age as my boss' kids and I cannot get one word in without him cutting me off, waiving his hand in my face, and say something condescending beginning with, "Look, you're still very young..."
As a parent... I legitimately feel dumber now than I did when I was 25. Maybe it's because I'm a stay at home mother, so my life mostly revolves around the kids at the moment, but my brain doesn't get much of a workout.
I think I'll go do a sudoku.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People probably shouldn't say things like that as it's just insulting... on the other hand, the older you get, the more you realize there's a lot about the world (and yourself) that you didn't understand when you were in your 20s.
I recently reconnected with someone I haven't seen since I was 18 and I'm currently 39.
He refuses to accept that I'm a full-blown woman and asks if I have a resume together yet and if I need him to 'call someone to give you a good reference'.
My career is fine so I can only assume he's weirded out by the fact that I'm basically his equal and don't need his input.
And older fast food workers. I get 6 hours a week because "I really don't need the money". DON'T TELL ME WHAT I FUCKING NEED! I LOVE MONEY.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think my favorite is when I was essentially verbally bitch slapped in a History of Women course for being a white male instead of a Hispanic female.
phaqueue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love that idea... because you're not a woman you can't possibly want to learn about women's history?
I'm not Roman, but I love their history... I'm a white male American - guess that pretty much limits my history learning doesn't it?
Freaking people...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She was talking about a problem that exists and she claims has historically existed for a long time in the Hispanic community because of white society. I asked about root causes and the primary evidence for that claim (you know.. the things historians ask for in regards to proof), and I was essentially told that I "don't know nothen" about her people.
Look lady, I never claimed to know anything. I just want to make sure YOU know something and are not just regurgitating someone else's talking point.
Duphie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a good chance that when you are 40 you will look back on your 25 year old self and think you were pretty retarded. Just think back to when you were 18? Havent you changed at all?
phaqueue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gaining more experience as I continue to live my life doesn't invalidate the experience I've gained until now...
Also, just the act of living more years doesn't automatically make you smarter, or wiser, or anything besides older... experiences are what make you wiser or smarter, not just getting older...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm attending DeVry University and unfortunately, I'm 25 and one of the youngest in all my classes. I had a woman in TWO of my courses who would not stop talking about how she was a single mother and works soooo hard to take care of her son while working full time and going to school. you are not the minority
This woman actually had the motherfucking nerve to tell me "well you don't have kids so you don't know what it's like to work hard."
"I said biiiiiiiiitch", popping a kid out of your vagina doesn't make you special. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be stressed or challenged by life.
I've got a degree in child development and my sister, who is pregnant with her first child, told me that because I've never had children I can't possibly know anything about child development. I have a full honours degree in it!!
Because there's often a smug arrogance in the young persons tone they are completely unaware of. If I had a nickel for every time a young teacher offended the parents at a elementary open house I'd be rich. Yes miss velarde, we will be sure to identify only "healthy snacks" to send our children to school with, sigh.
I once overhead a couple of women talking about how they couldn't take their child's pediatrician's advice seriously because the doctor didn't have children of his/her own.
That's what I asked them....I was informed that mothers know their own children and that doctors without children aren't trustworthy.
I said, "Ok, I guess having a baby trumps a medical degree when it comes to diagnosing and treating diseases." Then I laughed and turned back to my book.
My girlfriend has that issue as a teacher. She's been working in her field for 10 years, teaching pre-school. Meaning most of the parents have been parents for less than half as long as she's been teaching, on top of her having 2 college degrees.
Luckily I never experienced that as a teacher before I had my child. Probably because I worked in a pretty bad area and the parents weren't very involved.
They then went on to discuss the dangers of vaccines, if that gives you more indication of the level of their intelligence.
axearm ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 17:02:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My wife is a physcian and the the number of parents who think it is okay their kid is not meeting milestones (like speech) is astounding.
"Well I didn't talk till I was 3"
Yeah and that is because your mom put you in front of a TV 8 hours a day (like you do with your child) and maybe you should want your child to do something more than have 4 kids at 20 years of age.
It's hard to tell people they, like their mothers, are failures, and that they should set the bar higher.
For there record she has patients who do this. They often can't read and work their asses off in menial jobs to improve the lives of their kids and make their kids understand that they ARE going to college and no BS will fly. (These people also typically have crossed the border illegally.)
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 18:04:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Parents also don't realize that the milestone ages are very generalized. If the pediatrician isn't concerned, I wouldn't worry too much about why your kid doesn't quite do X at exactly Y years old. Pediatricians look out for other warning signs, too, like inability to make eye contact, delayed responses to stimuli, etc. I could read very early on but then had a lot of trouble with tying my shoes. Your kid isn't going to be spot on with everything.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:25:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every kid is PERFECT in the parents eyes. If their kid is not doing it, then its wrong. Its actually why i think parents blame vaccines on alot if mental disorders. They dont want to think they got unlucky and had the bad genes, so they just blame everyone and everything else. People dont realize that every kid has problems and sometimes other kids are better at some stuff. Not every kids going to be a doctor, but they could be a kick ass carpenter.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:22:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's a huge distinction between thinking your kid is perfect and can do no wrong versus your kid is perfect to you, because they're them.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
As a parent the one thing I've vowed to try to avoid doing is giving my son too much praise or overestimating his abilities. I want a very real picture of his ability and I want him to understand that he has to work hard to get anywhere in life.
I've read about milestones online and tbh I don't know much about them but if what I've read is correct he's trending pretty far ahead of his peers (He's 2 1/2 and hes hitting some advanced milestones for 3 1/2 year olds).
I was constantly praised as a kid for being smart and inquisitive and it did nothing for me. If I had been taught that hard work is more important than natural intelligence I would be in a much better place in life. I don't want to make the same mistakes my parents made with me. If he's smart I want him to apply his intelligence and challenge himself, if he's not I want him to apply himself and challenge himself.
I didn't speak until I was four, and my oldest nephew didn't speak until he was three!
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:06:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like if I were a mom in that class, no matter what, I'd think "I'M FUCKING UP MY CHILD OH DEAR LORD" and that's probably why I'm not gonna have kids
If you did take a class, you'd learn that it's hard to fuck them up too badly unless you're
actively trying
scum of the earth horrible example of humanity
abusive
neglectful
The thing to remember is that you're so concerned about how good of a parent you'd be now, that you'd probably actually be ok, because you understand it's hard. You understand you might not be the best mom/dad ever. I ain't tellin you to have kids, but don't sell yourself short.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:50:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, no, it's not that I don't want them. I don't know if I do or don't. I probably just won't have them. Maybe. Idk. I'm 21 I have time to figure it out.
zenhkai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More likely fetal alcohol syndrome
Lakey91 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:06:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 2 year old is already so advanced that he can understand that milestones represent the fact that a certain proportion of children have reached them by a certain age, not that all of them learn it at exactly that age.
Milestones are decided based on when the average child starts to do something; the upper limit of 'should have learned by' indicates that the child has developed it later than, say, 2 standard deviations of children. It doesn't mean that the child isn't normal, nor does reaching it by then indicate the child isn't delayed. They tend to set the 'should have learned by' point lower to make sure they pick up any children with developmental delays, even though it means they flag up many children who are completely normal.
To be honest, though, the teacher should have made this clear. When a mother hears that her child hasn't reached a milestone she hears you calling her child a retard; so she denies the milestone instead.
That's the one downside of 3 hour classes. They're filled with middle aged mothers who want to go back to school so they take a 3 hour evening class instead of a regular schedule. Every 3 hour class I've taken (5 in my 3 years of school, having 1 class a week is nice) every single one has had a section of class filled with 40-50 year old house wives who would do this shit all the time. It's so annoying.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:49:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is every single developmental psychology class.
Didn't you post this story before? I think I remember you saying that time that the prof flipped and told the student "Well I guess I should just rip apart my PhD because obviously you know more than I do" or something like that?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably. This was years ago and I was the youngest in the class by at least 10 years.
I read a comment similar to this a while back, basically the professor went off on the student for making the "as a mother" remarks during a lecture. If anyone knows which comment I'm talking about a link would be great. (Can't find it and it's bugging me.)
I think the first lesson should have been about the difference between scientific evidence and anecdotal evidence.
GraharG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
did they get that the numbers were averages, and that one data point doenst overturn an average?
RockoTDF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my learning theory class (for those of you that aren't familiar, learning theory is like rats in a cage, pavlov's dog, etc sort of stuff, not education) we had a woman who was a mom and worked with autistic kids. She had an opinion on everything. Drove us nuts.
Yes, because your anecdotal evidence from a sample space of two children by a biased observer has the power to refute years of empirical scientific research.
HD_ERR0R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That class actually sounds very interesting. I think I might take it next trimester. Hopefully I don't get into a class full of mothers.
I can understand why this would be annoying. I took human development before I became a mom. Looking back, I understand both sides of the equation. Being a mom doesn't make me an expert on all kids. It doesn't mean that I can decide if certain things are less valid because my kid is different. That said, I also see how.experience can help you have a grasp of.certain concepts better because you get the chance to witness it. It would get annoying if someone thought they know it all because s/he has kids.
If your life experience can be summed up with "as a mother" I'm not in the least bit interested in being around you. The worst part is that shit comes up when we aren't even talking about kids. I've heard people use it during city council meetings when discussing mundane bullshit. Fuck right off with it.
Those milestones are basically estimates as to when a child should be developing on average. Many children meet them before or after. I've been in daycares where two year olds are speaking almost full sentences (above average) and ones where two year olds don't even attempt to talk.
Bitch my dog is 9 years old, and despite me having a bowl of cereal 2-5 times a week at night, he still doesn't understand that when a Corn Pop falls out of the bowl, it sits on the table and doesn't fall to the floor, so stfu and listen to the professor.
Also, she should have called them out on it every time. "Well my child..." "Oh your child? So you're telling me that because you have a single 2-year old, that you know more than me, who has a PhD in psychology, who spend 10+ years in school to get my degree? Ok, then you come up here and teach the class, since you know sooo much." They would have quieted up real fast.
Taking child development classes as a male sucked ass too. Because I will never give childbirth, I am apparently unable to have a comment about anything regarding children. But it is nice being one a few males, if not the only male.
I've never understood why people think being a parent is a qualification.
I mean... ok, so you managed to have sex at least once? Congratulations, you're now an export with more knowledge and experience than the combined sum of all medical professionals and scientists that ever were and ever will be.
My friend just has a baby. She just shared some blog last week about "Top 10 things you never knew about having a child." Bored, I clicked it. I think the second thing mentioned was "half your friends you tell you this, and half will tell you that...both they are wrong. Do what works for you."
WTF does that even mean? Secondly...NO!
rividz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A demonstration on the availability heuristic, sample size, and bias might have helped. But then again I'm sure parents would have just found another way to make the focus of the lecture about themselves instead.
acvg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a newborn and a 2yr old...I wouldnever give anybody parenting advice. I might hand them a book I found helpful, but that's about it. I hated when ppl have me unsolicited advice when i was pregnant with my first. Then when i was expecting my 2nd ppl actually looked disappointed when i told them i had an older child at home bc they couldn't give them their stupid advice that probably only applies to their kid anyway.
Makes me remember when I was in high school and I got into a car accident that had me in and out of my classes for about 2 months, my mom would take me to her classes (there was no one to watch me at home, and I would be useless in class... the rest is irrelevant), and she would always say "as a mother..." then gesture toward me and introduce me to the class. Even if I had been in that class several times with her. She was embarrassing both of us, but had no idea.
I didn't know how to tell her that doing that is totally inappropriate (and she would have probably tried to kill me by overdose if I had), so I just had some meaningful eye contact with people in the class to show my apologies.
dorky2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES! There were a lot of nontraditional students in my education program and this drove me insane. I'm glad I became a parent after studying child development.
Level126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
have you posted this comment somewhere else? I remember something exactly like this.
I hope you got an A in that class, and I hope it had less to do with your actual intelligence, and more to do with the fact that you were the only person in the class not playing the parent card. I also hope it's because you and your professor regularly got drunk immediately after class... ;)
I did similar study. I wasn't the only non-parent, but I kinda felt lucky I wasn't one. All the parents in my class spent more time grappling with their guilt at not being perfect parents more than anything. Many were grateful to be introduced to Winnicott's concept of the good enough mother.
Maybe that was partly due to how the lecturer held the class. They were a therapist themself and were adept at helping people reflect what they were saying back on them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i took that class in the vancouver area of bc canada. all people <25 yrs old. glorious!
I worked in childcare before becoming a parent and parents annoy the fuck outta me. no matter how many times I explained to the mothers group I went to that milestones are guidelines and that every child develops differently and is better at different stuff and you should be worried when something is a few months behind not instantly or impressed when they're a few months ahead not instantly they still fucking do this shit.
I don't go to mothers groups anymore, and often pretend I never went.
Yeah, it would be really hard to see something that contradicts with what you observe at home, but unless your kid is also every other kid in the entire world, you are an expert at YOUR kid and that's all. Back off, sit the fuck down, and don't take a class if you already know it all.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it not normal for kids to read at 3? I could read at 3, not like, full novels, but a Doctor Seuss book
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar experience in a linguistics class when we got to the chapter on animals. The prof broke down the requirements for having language, she explained how animals do not have language, but they can respond instinctually/conditionally. Of course the crazy old cat-lady spends half the class arguing that her cats understand her and missing the point about the true definition of language.
shhRP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh if only psychology were a real field anyway instead of psuedoscience.
I'm an early childhood teacher. I've gone through a lot of training for my job. I'm amazed at some of the parents I meet. Including ones that say I'm not qualified to teach their children, because I don't have kids. Bitch, I get seven two year olds to listen to me, all day, every day. You can't even get your one kid to listen to you.
Miadkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who believes a 3 month old has object permanence is r.... wait, what's the word we're supposed to use instead now that "retarded" is a big no-no? Somehow dumbshit doesn't seem emphatic enough.
I know that feel man. I did a course in Fitness and we were all semi young kids (about 17-19) with a few older people. One of these was a 50 year old mother. Why she wanted to be a PT I don't know. However she did not shut her mouth. Teachers literally had to stop her from talking. I had times where I thought murder was the answer. One of my teachers, an amazing PT, set up his business so well he'll never have to work another day in his life, was teaching us Business and she was like "I don't think that's the best way to run a business." My teacher just carried on like she never said anything.
Oh man, this brings me back to an intro Ethics course I took as an undergrad. There was this one lady who used every discussion as an excuse to shoehorn in her shitty opinion that was supposed to be so valuable because she was a 22-year-old mother. I remember we were talking about whether pleasure is the only intrinsic value and if, given the choice, it would be preferable to live your life inside a simulation that was guaranteed to be more pleasant than the real world, and she interrupted to go on a rant about how "As a mother I find that idea appalling, no way would I ever let my kids be raised in some made-up dreamworld where everything is perfect! That's not real life!" So firstly, she was reacting as though we'd just shown her the Matrix pod we were about to shove her kids into, not discussing a purely hypothetical philosophical question, and secondly, I was entirely sick of her "as a mother" bullshit. So I said "It wouldn't necessarily have to be a world where 'everything is perfect.' Maybe it would just be a more just version of our world, where your children could still experience setbacks, but would always be rewarded for doing the right thing, and never treated unfairly. What kind of a parent wouldn't want that for their children?" And she just looked at me stunned.
haagiboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I would have either shot myself or stabbed someone if I had to attend those classes if there was no discussion ban.
haagiboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By the way. Are women more prone to being narcissists then men?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men are more prone to being narcissists than women actually. Peep the study in r/rasisedbynarcissists.
Bonolio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a 4 year old who is seriously gifted.
I mean future evil genius, volcano Island dwelling, destroyer of world's type smart.
It sucks because I really do want to brag about him.
But I don't.
Because I am not a douche.
Why should I care what you do about your shitty kid? -Proffesor
helm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
btw, are you ponyo?
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i snapped in a class like that once. this one woman kept saying the "as a mother of three," line. every monday wednesday and friday morning (fridays were the worst...) she would pull that out 2-3 times a class... so 6-9 times in general a week, the second friday, i just stood up (small class too, about 35-40 people) and just said "i dont fucking care about your kids or you as a mother, if we are doing this shit again i am gonna go get a fucking buritto from the cafeteria!" and walked out.
monday was better.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. We had a woman who would constantly brag about her child and how she could read at 2 years. Like shut the fuck up homie. No she can't.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:28 on September 8, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 18 year old son took a class like this as well. He was super advanced though and e probably didn't even need to go to class because he's so smart. They might as well just give him the degree so he can go on to saving lives and stuff because of how smart he is.
Both I and my sister read at four, so it's not that out of the ordinary, but how the fuck do they think they know more than a PhD because they had a kid? It's not that difficult a task.
exikon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's like saying they know more about cars than a mechanic because they can drive...
Oh sweet Jesus, I took a simple Psychology 101 night class and there were parents galore. Every fucking night they would share personal stories and the teacher would oblige them, because why not?? It's not like other people are here to learn, why not waste valuable class time with something clearly not necessary to anyone? After a few weeks of that class, I couldn't stand it anymore and I just loudly gathered my notebooks and walked out during someone's asinine sob story about their kid's preschool days.
I have two FILs & and two MILs. My husband's parents divorced and remarried, second marriage didn't have kids. But thought she could tell me how to do it. Cause she read it in a book.
Adddicus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 3 year old can read already!
This isn't all that uncommon. Most of the children in my extended family have been able to read by their third birthday.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's nice. Bragging about it in a college classroom is inappropriate.
yesterday i was in line at starbucks, the barista was having a little trouble with her order (putting her sandwich in the oven before ringing her up or something) and she was like, "what are you doing? as a mother, i know how to multitask!" first time i've heard someone say this stupidly, probably won't be the last
fuck you just got me to put my thumb in my mouth while on the toilet in a public bathroom. who knows what I touched. now I have to go wash my mouth out for 30 minutes
nman68 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:13:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started to do this, then realized I don't actually want to feel like somebody stabbed me in the finger.
gnorty ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:02:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
we used to do something similar - bite one fingernail/finger on each hand quite hard (index finger works well, but whatever floats yer boat) for about 15 seconds. Then hook the 2 fingers toegether and pull.
Similar result, but for me feels like an electric shock up your arm.
Nick1693 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ow why the fuck did I try that?
gnorty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Curiosity I guess. If you are curious about these things, try this other experiment...
You know how you used to burn things with a magnifying glass as a kid? Try it on the back of your thumb nail. Surprisingly it doesn't really hurt at all. You can keep it there for quite a while. Now don't go crazy - it's not a pain threshold championship - keep it there until it starts to feel actually hot, and then stop. The result is unforgettable if you get it right.
If you don't notice anything, then you wussed out. You need to wait until it starts to feel hot, but not let it get actually painful.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you that hurt.
Torvaun ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:11:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy is an EMT. Apparently they do that now instead of sternal rubs to check consciousness because it's way harder for malingerers to fake.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting, but what? What is this responding to?
Torvaun ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:53:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I know how to cause impressive amounts of pain by applying pressure to the base of the fingernail.
5cBurro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ, that fucking hurts. I don't want to know why you know that.
The worst part about that is that the barista was doing what they are supposed to do. The "routine" for front registers is to take the order, mark the cup, gather the food, then cash them out. The reason for that is so that no one's food gets forgotten when the next customer comes up. It's always those women who are the ones to complain loud enough and long enough that they get free shit, which just reinforces their bad behavior IMO. That's why I always give free stuff to the nice customers, the ones who don't ask for it or expect it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:50:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in retail if someone was nice and were short some change I'd let the change slide. We weren't supposed to do that, but we all did it from time to time and I felt that a lot of customers appreciated the leniency. Also, I usually got enough "keep the change" people to even out in my head.
If you were a dick you aren't walking out of here unless I get that penny you owe.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh I come on Reddit to relax not be enraged.
Damn, did you call her out at all?
brijjen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt says exactly the opposite. She can't handle things if they're not EXACTLY the way she wants them at all times. She says "I've never developed mommy ears/eyes/etc!" when justifying her intolerance for people making noise, being messy or living life outside of her control.
nancyaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AS A MOTHER, I KNOW HOW TO SPREAD MY LEGS.
QSquared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Multi-tasking isn't really something anyone can do, its thought 1-2 % of the world might be able to multi-task ( granted thats 60 to 140 million people)
In my experience, mothers don't multitask that well. They just get panicky, their kid runs everywhere, and they pay more attention to their phone than anything else.
Mothers who "multitask" are just adult onset ADHD.
Schlick7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See I don't mind it in that cause all to much. Multitasking can be a learned skill and you would most likely learn it as a mother.
I don't actually believe the vast majority of women actually multi task. They may "many-task", i.e. Have a load of washing in while planning the shopping list while making the kid's lunches.
But that's lots of things in a row. It's not the same as making the dinner with one hand while polishing the silver with the other
I've seen a new wave of sanctimommies show up on social media and it's fucking weird. Girls who were pretty cool and all in high school and college became women who are just whacky. They think they know everything because they expelled a child from their body.
Cousins wife with three children once said to me (when discussing childhood development), "those college professors with their PHDs as if they think that matters or means anything..."
Sometimes, its about as applicable. I've recently left a job because a new manager kept waving his Phd in my face as a license to do the most idiotic things. "I understand you want to raise the pressure this instant, but shouldn't the joints in the pipework be refitted to take it?" "....i have a Phd, it's not your concern". Within 24 hours, he's standing ankle deep in the resulting flood, lecturing me on the importance of preparing as he watches me mop. It's possible to have a PhD and be a complete moron.
It goes both ways, for sure. But I had a former friend of mine completely disregard everything my SO said in regards to child rearing, when my SO had helped raise her cousins from the time they were infants until now, only because she wasn't a mother. People use that line as a way to completely write off what someone else is saying.
I totally hear you, we've actually encountered someone preemptively using this assumed authority at the point where they were still only trying to get pregnant!
I'm a new mom and I can't stand how some women act like they have this unobtainable wisdom bestowed upon them from giving birth. My favorite(actually the one I love to hate) has a mommy blog and it makes me want to punch her through the screen. She goes on and on about natural parenting and how she just sacrifices so much to be a mom and is such an elitist, but there's never a mention of the fact that her oldest is from a one night stand in college.
Yes, being a parent changed my life. Yes, being a parent made me sappier that I was. Yes, it's true that you develop this unspoken bond with other mothers(i.e. Grieving for another mom who's child is sick, because you now understand how much a sick child can hurt you.)
BUT there's moms all over the place. None of us are special. We are special to our kids, and that's it.
And sanctimoms are like the new version of southern baptists. You know how baptists try to be the better christian? Well these sanctimoms try to be crunchier than each other and put down other moms to make themselves feel better.
I can't tell you how many other moms pick at me for letting my son sleep with me. He sleeps through the night when he sleeps with me, so fuck off. I like sleep. Or how I let him have oatmeal cereal a little early. The kid had a cold and was having a hard time sucking his bottle, so I mixed oatmeal with breast milk and fed it to him in a spoon so he could get some food and be able to breathe. Guess they thought I should just let him be dehydrated so I could stick to their rule book. Oh, and the best ones are the ones that talk down to me because I work and send him to daycare. They think it means that I don't love my kid as much as they do.
"You don't want children? Oh...well...Well, you will change your mind."
That's just something nice people say because your plan is WAY outside of societal norms. Don't get all preachy. Anyone who ever said that to you never ever thought about it again, but here you are ranting anonymously, publicly, to strangers about it because it makes you so mad.
But let's be real, if your college friend was the kind of girl that was satisfied by being choked by a dick, she might not have gotten pregnant in college.
As a mother... I so agree... but seriously, yes, all of that. Maybe it's just me but I was a young mom and I hated when older moms would swarm at me with all their advice about how shitty I was because I didn't feed him organic, hand-crafted baby food. I couldn't afford that shit. And my kid turned out fine. Those moms forget that people have been having babies for eons without all the expensive contraptions, philosophical theories and textbooks.
cls4n6 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:49:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Best advice I ever got - 38 years ago- before my first child was:There are only 4 things to remember- keep them warm, keep them dry, feed them, and don't drop them. All this other nonsense now just drives me nuts. Kids are different, parents are different- one size does not fit all. So STFU.
cls4n6 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:10:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. I agreed- but I will give advice when asked- and always also conclude with 'take it with a grain of salt and do what makes you comfortable'. But it was nice, at the end of the day, to be able to say 'at least I didn't drop one of them'.
Its so much more important to give a child a good grounding, a good start mentally and morally than to keep their diets within a narrow and anally optimal checklist.
Exactly. I understand that all the rules and suggestions are there for a reason, but some of them may not work for everyone, and that's okay.
It'd be different if they wanted to come down own me because I was feeding my baby bacon or something, but I'm not. He's healthy and happy and we're doing great.
nkbee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:16:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This, coupled with your username, makes me think you're the type of lady I could be friends with.
We should be mum friends. I'm still (still!) breastfeeding my 15 month old and she sleeps in our bed because sleeping is one of my favourites and she doesn't sleep unless she's touching one of us. You'd think the way people act that we're living in some creepy commune. You do you mum! We're all just winging it.
damn, I'm a dad and I really love your attitude. thank you for being "real" ... which under other circumstances, and in the spirit of this thread, I would hate myself for saying.
Seriously, supermom. All you did was fuck. The rest of this just sort of happened to you.
PS: Thank you for helping me do one of my favorite reddit things, which is to gain real insight from someone whose username is absolutely ridiculous. I am now wiser, thanks to 45MinutesOfRoadHead.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These are generally people who have no skills or any character traits that garner respect from other people. Once they get that baby they suddenly see it as an opportunity to be taken seriously.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh! The natural moms! I really, really didn't want to see that picture of a naked pregnant woman squatting next to a stream!! It was captioned "Mom gives birth unassisted in wilderness!!"
Like, sure, if you call "unassisted" "I have a professional photographer with me".
Also your baby can die that way. I don't care how careful you are, popping a baby out next to a creek is a fucking horrible idea.
Yes. This natural mom blogger has also actively blogged against hospital births and vaccinations and talked about how much better home births are. Myself and other women ended up laying into her on that one. We had all stayed quiet until that moment.
You can talk about how great your home birth was, but don't condemn hospital births at the same time. I could have seen a naive mom-to-be reading it and thinking "Oh my god. I have to do a home birth. Hospitals sound awful!" She kept saying "I didn't mean to make it sound bad." Except she did and tried to backpedal. I said "When you decide to blog you are taking on a responsibility to provide accurate and helpful information. You have done the opposite in this. You can encourage women to seek out the birth experience that they desire, but do not condemn the safest option."
I know woman who lost a baby in a home birth and it could have been prevented if she were at a hospital, so her post made me rage.
Not to mention, the girl was 22 when she started blogging.
It's worse when you are a male. Women have completely dominated all things child care. My lamaze instructor's daughter once tried to correct him on how to change a diaper, despite him having cared for literally over 30 children, including her.
Yeah those mums can do one, particularly the one harping on about how much she "sacrifices" for her kid. All parents do that, either sacrifice less if it's really such an exceptional level of it or just shut up about it and get on with being a mum.
You sound like a great mum and if I needed advice about childcare I would ask you over the blogger mums!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to doing the best we can and having to work.
With neither my wife or I were able to stay home, fuck all the sanctimonious parents who can. We had a daycare worker tell my wife that she should stay home because raising kids was the most important job in the world. Not like school loans wanted to be paid off or anything, or they volunteered to take on that debt.
Bulvye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but there's never a mention of the fact that her oldest is from a one night stand in college.
kariochi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my god, why aren't you still
Breastfeeding? Just give it another try, he's only 16 months. I just love my baby so much, I could never give
him formula. At least you tried though, right?"
One of my cousins got so upset when my son was born because we were having serious issues with breastfeeding, and some people were trying to comfort me and saying "Nobody will look down on you if you use formula. Just do what works for you and your baby." My cousin got super mad that people were trying to make me feel okay with formula. You would've thought they were telling me to give him eat poison.
kariochi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I'm so sorry. It's hard enough dealing with all the other post partum stuff. That's what a nurse that called my house to check on me was like. "Are you committed to breastfeeding? It doesn't sound like you are. It
Sounds like you want the easy way out"
Jesus Christ, preach! When I was pregnant everyone and their sister had an opinion! It makes it so hard to get real advice because every person you speak to has a different fucking opinion. I thought it would stop once I had my baby but NOPE. It just got worse. Now every time someone offers any advice whatsoever I say 'My doctor has advised me not to listen to anyone who hasn't had a baby in the last 2 years...sorry.' This really offends everyone but I don't give a shit.
Whole heartedly agree. There's so much mixed advice out there. You'd go nuts if you tried listening to everyone. Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there who think it's appropriate to shame someone for not parenting like they think it should be done.
Re: your last point, god those mums are the fucking worst. The mums at my primary school looked down on my mum and treated her like shit because she couldn't do any of the weekday mummy brunches and coffee mornings they did, as she and my dad both worked 80 hour weeks each until I was 16. As if it was a bad choice to be a mum and have a career. Be a stay at home mum, they're great too, I don't care, but don't put down my incredible mum cause she chose not to do that. Ugh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I love this post. The word "natural" makes me rage a little inside. I put my son to sleep on his tummy, formula fed, and don't flip out when my kid falls. I am literally satan.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
how she just sacrifices so much to be a mom
Yes, the martyrdom kills me. Oh my kid wakes up to feed every two hours. Two hours? Luxury! Mine doesn't sleep for more than 45 minutes....
I'm a 20 year old guy so I might be talking out of my ass here, but from seeing how I was raised and my brother was raised and my friends and other kids I know were raised, I've come to the general conclusion that... Most things don't matter as much as people think they do when they're raising kids. Like, keeping them safe and healthy is of course important, but really I've never heard of someone's physical or mental development having any sort of appreciable difference depending on the age at which they ate oatmeal or the music they listened to in the womb or where they slept or whatever. I think it mostly comes from parents being scared they're doing everything wrong and then either trying to reassure themselves or being way too specific about what actually made their kids turn out right.
Thank you. I get so tired of all that judgy, pretentious crap. We are all doing the best we can to love our kids. There's no need to brag, make other parents feel bad, or even make more "mom blogs". I'm really through with those.
Ran4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but there's never a mention of the fact that her oldest is from a one night stand in college.
What's wrong with that? That doesn't mean that you can't be a good parent.
Nothing is wrong with with being an unwed mom. What's wrong with her is that she presents herself as this perfect all-knowing super mom that is better than you and has no faults ever. But forgets to mention this small fact.
cbBRAVOS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for teaching me the word "sanctimom." It's like it's been on the tip of my tongue for my entire life...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you need new friends. When me and the fellow parents around work talk about our kids, it's usually pretty real stuff, no one ever gets sanctimonious when I say I sent my little princess to bed a bit early on some trumped up charges because I wanted to drink scotch and read in silence.
Seriously, the daycare thing. If someone asks me "how is that working out" in that snotty tone one more time I will freak out. Or my other favorite, "Well personally I could never send my child to daycare." These are direct quotes!
I just say "Well, good thing you're wealthy enough to be a stay at home mom!"
Honestly though, I would still work even if we could get by on just my SO's salary. Being a stay at home mom isn't for everywhere.
edifyyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you - your language is a bit salty, but I understand and agree with your sentiment. My wife and I are similarly dealing with much sanctimonious (but usually well-intentioned) advice about our 5 month old from our friends... and it's often contradictory.
We're sick of it, and have decided (realized?) that the goal is NOT to stick to a certain sleep plan, or diet, only clothe him in cashmere jumpers blessed by hippies, or whatever; the goal IS for the three of us to survive until he's 18. That means we need sleep, occasional time as husband and wife instead of dad and mom, etc. If you think that the way we hold his bottle is going to put him in therapy later, then I guess we'll find out.
Is it alpha mom? That self righteous cuntsicle. Bugs the shit out of me. Same when I hear childless people tell me that when THEY are parents they won't do x,y,z. I think even childless people can have valuable perpective on parenting if they have some experience in the field, but oh my god don't tell me how you'd never ever for one minute consider a repeat c section or take pain med after because it MUST be harmful. End rant. Just omfg.
This is so fucking awesome! Those bitches suck! Yes, I have too stretched out my vagina and a little human popped out and no, I did not give Facebook a full rundown of how many inches i was dilated and what percent effaced I was! You know what else? I did have an epidural, yes I did and it was fucking great I chilled through the whole delivery and didn't break a sweat doing it all natural like all you other whores. Saying that felt great.
I'm not a mother (fertility issues are so damned frustrating), but even I can see how full of shit these women are. I really try not to get baited into arguing with these people but I can't really help it when I see people like my newspaper adviser (who is damned amazing) and my sister get put down for things that aren't even remotely bad.
The thing that gets me the most are the women who somehow feel they are superior just because they pushed out a kid.
You know what I say to them? "You're not fucking special just because you had a kid. There are 7 billion people on this planet. That is a hell of a lot of women doing the exact same thing you did so climb down off of the high horse." It's amazing the mental gymnastics I've seen women go to in order to get around that argument.
Family bed is best bed. Someday my son is going to sleep on his own. On that day I will be so glad to have half a bed instead of most of a third. I will also weep into my pillow because I miss his snuggles.
Don't let 'em get you down. You may not be a parenting expert, but you are an expert parent to your own kid.
Ryanwins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're parenting is spot on. You're doing what is best for you and your son. And co-sleeping is the fucking boss!!! Unless you drink/smoke or do drugs in which case you are a monster.
logicx24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't tell you how many other moms pick at me for letting my son sleep with me
Have you seen the horrible, disgusting blogs some moms make to belittle women who bottle and formula feed their children?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A-fuckin'-men.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagining your son is 29 makes this a lot funnier.
MumBum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised people get at you about co sleeping. I was frowned upon for not letting my kids sleep with me. One of my ex coworkers has her 1 year old and 6 year old sleeping with her every night and somehow her husband fits in there too. Whatever works for them. I couldn't sleep with kids in my bed and no matter what I did, my babies didn't sleep through the night, so it was their crib they slept in!
what I don't understand is where are all the dads in this? I never hear "...as a father". Are women just more prone to this sort of thing, because of the labor of birthing? I mean it's one thing to be proud of your kid, but another to be proud of the act itself.
ibbity ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:26:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's because there are certain social circles where being a mother is pushed incredibly hard as THE defining experience/role for a woman. A lot of these women (at least the ones I know who are like this) have been trained their entire lives to see motherhood as literally the only thing that makes them have any meaning or value as human beings. So of course it becomes the only thing they are capable of thinking or talking about, and of course it becomes a giant competition between them to see who can mommy best, because not mommying better than everyone else means that they have failed at the one and only thing that they believe they exist to do.
Didn't anyone tell these women that the 50s are over?
ibbity ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:02:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One would think, but when every single person in your social circle thinks like this there's no real incentive to look outside and see if it's any different out there, because by the time you're old enough to start questioning shit, you're usually too brainwashed to bother.
I'm a single dad, raising my son by myself. You kind of just roll with it. I gave a talk at a seminar the other day and opened with a story of recently cleaning up my son's vomit (the placement of which seemed to defy the laws of physics). Got a laugh, relaxed me and the audience and the talk went swimmingly.
(Almost) anything you can do by accident isn't impressive... This one time I threw a football like 30 yards and it landed in a tiny chair and just stayed there. That was accidental and impressive. Babies? Nah.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:20:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's always bothered me how people go "OMG CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ACHIEVEMENT!" when someone gets pregnant, even if she and her bf are 19, have only worked a couple of crappy jobs, haven't even started college, and have only been together for 6 months. Now I can generally understand some level of congratulations, but the way a lot of people go about it it's like it's some huge, difficult and major achievement.
Sure some people do actually have a hard time conceiving, but for most people it's not that difficult. Most people manage to do it too, often multiple times.
Taddare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Like, when as the last time you saw someone get an accidental doctorate?
That would be a celebration.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm accidentally getting a bachelor's that I didn't mean to. Whoops.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is it about the process of carrying another human to term that you find so easy trivialize? That shit it violent and brutal and why I refuse to breed- it's too scary
kjata ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:18:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's globally trivial because it's been completed daily for a hundred thousand years. It's only personally non-trivial.
ryan5w4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, not the male ones. Hopefully.
Vicous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't kill Hitler you damn fraud- Hitler killed Hitler!
But have you? It's not as unimpressive as you're making it out to be
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 20:00:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
million
edit: ok, downvotes really? Humans exist only since a few million years ago. Granted, mammals from a lot longer, but not billions of years which roughly corresponds to the appearance of life. And the first monocellular organisms are no mammals, nor did they give birth or nurture their offspring.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:09:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:00:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your actually right. 3.5 billion years ago was when we believe life began.
Those organisms reproduced by splitting in two. Bitch, you don't do that shit. You lay back and allow a mutlicellular reproductive organ that itself is more complex than any species that was around for the first few billion years of evolution penetrate your body and rub itself until it bursts out a freaking army of cells to swim up into your egg.
Call me when you undergo binary fission. Then we can talk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Correct. Mammals are only about 200 million years old. Don't downvote this guy, you shits.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I see your point at how these mom's are annoying, but lets be real here, being a mom is no easy feat. Yes of course it changes you forever, but these people are just being dicks about that.
No kidding. And the source of their expertise? Their own experience and a couple "mommy blogs."
Jesus. Read some fucking books.
Actual books by actual childhood development specialists.
I'm not saying that it will make everything easy or you won't make mistakes and I'm certainly not saying that you need to go down the rabbit hole of fringe parenting techniques or the latest craze. But having the fundamental knowledge of important developmental benchmarks is kind of crucial. And learning measured responses to different behaviors will keep the tantrums in the toy section to a minimum.
You'll read the directions to your stereo receiver but you think you can just...wing it...when bringing up a human fucking being?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:33:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Giving birth takes less skill and knowledge than making a quesadilla. You can't make a quesadilla by accident.
I expelled four kids (one at a time, I'm no side show act) and I learned that yes, you can expel something the size of a small moose from something the diameter of a bottle of Coke. I'm not sure got much else from it, other than maybe Demerol isn't enough GIVE ME THE GOOD STUFF DAMNIT!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:02:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the first time in their lives they've been entrusted with any level of responsibility and only because nobody could stop them. Being in charge does give you a high and if you don't have all the experience with the hard work and suffering that generally comes along with it then you start to say really stupid things.
There's one girl on my Facebook I keep around if I ever need to get angry (we all need to express one emotion) because she is a santimommie, a total bitch (she'll straight insult you if you have even minor differences in perspective) and ultra-conservative as fuck.
When her husband (cool guy who I got along with but damn I have no idea what he saw in her) changed his Facebook profile picture to Wolverine she left a comment saying "Your daughter is cuter" and all of sudden he changed his profile picture to him with his daughter. I mean, I don't want to say "whipped" because that's a bad term but what do you call that?
I think whipped, though a bad term, is accurate in this instance.
See also, balls in handbag.
Chem1st ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:37:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my sister. Since she had kids she's turned into a real bitch. Went from non-practicing to pushing religion on the kids, and won't speak to my mom because a couple years ago she made a really poor decision, and now that it fell apart and my retirement age mom can't give her $10K+ my mom is the bitch.
My parents have asked me not to speak to my sister because they know I'll call her on her bullshit and my folks don't want us to not be speaking.
A while back someone I knew years ago posted a question about giving her infant Tylenol before or right after vaccination. She said her doctor specifically said not to do it, but she decided she had to because her kid started crying. She then asked people if she should just go ahead and give her kid Tylenol before the next vaccination, and I commented with links to information about why it's a bad idea, which were then followed by 20 other people saying "Oh I did it with my kids and they were fine, so don't worry about it." My information was ignored. I don't understand why people ask for advice if they're just gonna ignore it...
It's uncomfortable finding out which ones are now "perfect moms". The ones who use to get trashed and let guys take turns with them in the woods are now sactimommies that will jump on you the moment arises.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. this. this. Fuck. I am 30, I've had two kids 'from my body', and I want to punch other females who are like this.
Gankstar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a father (heheh) I can attest that it is a learning experience and you do end up learning a shit ton of eye opening things from having a child. So much so I believe having children changes people. Changes the core of who they are, their moral compass and their beliefs.
This is what you are probably seeing.. that or women go batshit when the squat a kid out. Gonna get downvoted but guys... The babies suck chemicals from their brains or something. No proof but its for real! RUUUUNN!!!
The thing that is funniest to me about these "sanctimommies" is how irresponsible so many of them were to end up pregnant in the first place. There is a large percentage of them that were having unprotected sex while in a non serious relationship. An unplanned pregnancy with a high risk of STI as a bonus... sounds like they already have a history of poor decision making skills.
Of course their response would be "having a baby changes you." Yeah it does but if you started from a place of good decision making I bet you would have changed into an even better parent.
Oh god, I have a Sanctimommie on my friends list who thinks the sun shines, rises and sets out of her child's ass and has had everything in life handed to her (seriously, her mommy bought her her own business)
She constantly posts annoying statuses with her way overweight for a toddler pertaining to something about 'the true meaning of life, what the meaning of happiness is.'
I saw Soleil Moon Frye (Punky Brewster) on some talk show where she was talking with some authority about being a parent, like she was an expert. I think there was a book involved. I was thinking: "Who cares what you think? You were Punky Brewster and you gave birth! Big deal!"
As I've gotten older I've noticed the Mommy Mafia more and more. My wife doesn't get invited to things that her friends throw because she's not a mother. But this group really like to badger her about when she's going to have a kid. It's like they went instantly Stepford Wive-ish the minute they had a kid, forming some weird cult of mom-ness.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this is 75% of the girls I went to high school with
Expelling people is hard work mane, I would grow a ego to.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like how if someone gives birth at age 17, they are uneducated and hated for it. But a 19 year ild in college gives birth and shes like a national hero with a PHD.
solzhen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:39:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the hormones make them crazy
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 15:43:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:51:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's easy for you to say, you have 10 years to work on kicking the habit. It'll be a lot easier for you though because your wall will always be empty.
wilsonjj ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 15:52:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i had a mother in all of my education classes in college. because she had kids that were elementary age she just assumed she was an expert in all things covered in class. became quite annoying.
mousicle ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:22:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
we had one too who also raged about how bad home-schooling was. So her being a mother gave her incites to everything about teaching high schoolers but every other mom was a moran. Oddly she didn't end up getting hired despite teaching French (the most sought after teachable in Ontario)
I was watching TV once and a political ad came on and a woman said "As a mother, I don't like being lied to." I guess she was fine with being lied to before that.
[deleted] ยท 235 points ยท Posted at 16:00:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not even then. Being a mother doesn't mean that you are a good one, an informed one or an experienced one. It is simply an appeal to authority because we tend to give mothers elevated standing in our society.
Rmanager ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:37:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There really are times people spout off the stupidest shit about children that makes you want to scream "you aren't a parent you fucking retard! Your 'theory' means jack shit!"
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:47:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Rmanager ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:02:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We aren't talking about experts in a field. That would be replacing "as a parent" with "as a behavioral scientist."
I'm talking about peers that think they know anything about what it takes to have a kid. "I would never let my child..." Yeah. Those people. Have kids and then tell me what those books say.
Oh yes. My childless sister was giving me shit about having a repeat csection. Telling me how she read blah blah as if I haven't and as if I haven't spoken to my doctor about this. Being a mom may not give me special insight into everyone else's situation, but I certainly know my own and probably spend more time talking to OBGYNs and pediatricians than someone without children. Also, if you aren't planning on having children or in a field caring for children, your opinion is less than shit. I don't want to hear about that article you read on buzzfeed.
"As I mother I now have shifted priorities and goals in my day-to-day life as well as in the long term. I have new sources of concern, worry, stress, and joy. I spend my money and free time differently, and as a result am considered a to be part of a different socio-economic group. I am now a target of a different type of marketing and political campaigns. I did not fully understand how motherhood would affect me until I became a mother. I had my guesses and superficial understanding, but I could not truly understand what being a mother was like until I experienced it, and it's still constantly changing. It feels completely different than volunteering with youth. I can, for example, quit being a counselor, a teacher, tutor or mentor, but I can never not be a mother anymore. I can be 100 years old, my children have children of their own, and I will still be a mother. Even if my child should perish before me, I will still a mother, and I view the world differently as a result. "
Doesn't matter if the mom is absent, shitty, or rich or poor, it still changes the world view. There is still a minority of mothers who are complete shit (abusive, neglectful, completely absent, etc), but we would not give them credibility when they say "as a mother..." anyways. When someone says "As a mother.." they are speaking about their feelings and perspectives that give them a bias or insight, and that phrase doesn't automatically discredit what they are saying, but contextualizes it. This may be anecdotal, and anecdotal evidence is not appropriate in a classroom study. The problem of those classrooms isn't people saying "as a mother..." but believing that their anecdotal evidence is superior to empirical ones.
"As a reasonable person, I think helicoptering children is suffocating and unnecessary. As a mother, I tear my hair out trying to resist holding my arms out under my kid at the jungle gym."
"I try to not take my limited sick days when I'm sick, or vacation days when I need a break, because as a mother, I may need those days for my kids." Or, even more tragically, "because I intend to have a child soon and maternity leave isn't provided for temp workers or contractors." "As a mother, I worry i have to sacrifice my career because my husband's workplace does not provide paternity leave."
I don't we can really comprehend or empathize what it's like to need to leave a child with someone else when we don't want to, and when we believe shouldn't need to, unless we have children ourselves. Granted, these examples are also feminist examples, so "as a woman" or "as a parent/guardian" would also fit here, but we should not dismiss the phrase by itself.
Very eloquently put. That about sums up my feelings. I try not to preface things with as a mother, but yes, becoming a mother has shifted some things.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im sure you know exactly what my 100% objective feelings are.
Also, what does
one of those child free types that has a family unaccepting of your decision
even mean? Im far from matching any of my parents ideological and political opinions but they aren't ignorant or stupid enough have any problems with it what so ever. it is a complete non-issue that makes me think you yourself have these issues for bringing them up.
When your answer is 'My feels are more feely than your feels!' your credibility goes out the window. If you want to talk about personal emotions then you shouldn't try and talk to someone with bipolar who will blow your feels out of the window without even trying or wanting to.
You seem the one to be getting defensive and projecting your problems. I was having a rational discussion and you brought up all the emotion and feels talk and being defensive or whatever it is your point is.
This is silly. Of course no one can understand any other person's personal experience. That is the nature of it. It is subjective. You could say that about anything.
I love chicken! You have no idea how much I love chicken because you are not me. You have no idea what I would be willing to do for chicken I love chicken so much I would murder a man for chicken.
You also have no idea how much any non parent loves anyone in their own life. Perhaps they love their nephew in the exact same way that you love your child. You simply can't ever know that it is different.
Just because your love for your own child eclipses any other love in your life does not give you some special knowledge. Plenty of people don't give a shit about their kids. You act like the parental experience is uniform for all people.
The most you can say is that you have a special understanding of YOUR child's needs that all other people do not. That doesn't even mean that your understanding is correct. Parents do the wrong thing for their kids all the damn time fully believing they are doing what's best.
Not sure I'm buying those 3. Your kid? 'As a mom...' Is grammatically flawed. Child care? O to the hell no, your anecdote isn't significant. Asking a person about being a mother? Seems flawed like the first one and a bit sanctimonious.
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 16:43:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:30:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
rage up, sane mike
flotiste ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
abqkat ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:17:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes, your credentials/ experiences are relevant, though. Surely, a parole officer might have some insight into the systemic issues surrounding crime? Or a NBA player might know some things about athleticism? I think the difference is that a credential must be earned or somehow out-of-the-ordinary. Being a mother isn't really a credential
Thing is, the people with credentials don't really use the "As a..." phrase in any kind of conversation. They'll probably just straight up tell their insight without needing to assert their authority over the matter.
enulcy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Suspending all rational thought for a second...'
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have several instances where this really changed the course.
The first time, I was taking an abnormal psychology class during a summer session. This man had so many stories about being a great father after going through a lot of therapy. ALWAYS had a story. Borderline personality disorder? Yeah, he went through that diagnosis. Depression? You bet. Anorexia? Of course. Possible multiple orgasms for females? Well, he had STORIES.
Anyway, this guy wasn't in class one day, and the professor says, "Oh. He's not in class. I condensed all my lectures just because I knew he was going to tell long stories. I guess you're all dismissed early, then."
My second experience with parents ruining the class was in a juvenile justice class a few years later. First day of class, the professor asks why everyone's taking the class- most of us are in the class because we were studying criminal justice, social work, or psychology. This one woman raises her hand and starts aggressively telling the whole class, "YOU'RE ALL HERE FOR THE WRONG REASON. I HAVE A 14 YEAR OLD CHILD, SHE'S OUT OF CONTROL AND I NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHY SHE'S GOING DOWN THE WRONG PATH. SHE'S A JUVENILE AND WILL GO TO JUVIE. SHE'S ALREADY DYED HER HAIR, AND ASKED IF SHE COULD GO OUT WITH HER FRIENDS THIS WEEKEND TO THE MALL. WHAT IS SHE GOING TO DO NEXT?! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, I CAN'T RAISE A SOON-TO-BE FELON."
I ended up skipping every class except for exam days.
Yeah, as a mother, I hate this. There are just some parents with this endless stream of shitty advice to make others feel shitty about their choices. At the end of the day, having a child doesn't automatically qualify anyone as an expert of anything. It's experience and education that does.
"As a mother I believe that clear, consistent and fair discipline is best."
It can be reasonable. If someone has experience doing something, they generally have some credibility when speaking on the subject. As a person, I have witnessed this many times.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Alagore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, pretty much everything has a reason for occurring no? Cause and effect and all that?
If I hear that fucking phrase again at the start of some bullshit answer as to why the mother is soooo much better at taking care of kids, I will punch her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No . . . . No . . . Quagmire, until you have a child . . . . . . Until . . . You have . . . . a child . . . You will not understand
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The other day on my Facebook a woman I knew from college posted, "Mommies out there I need your help, can I hard boil eggs by baking them in the oven?"
What does being a mom have to do with baking eggs? Also, search that shit online because finding out an answer will take less time than typing out that Facebook status.
Counter with, "If someone gave you a giraffe, with no chance to refuse it, how much would you know, at that time, about taking care of a giraffe?"
Or you could go with: "Hitler's mom knew how to raise a baby, too. I mean, he didn't die in infancy or anything, so she must've been doing it better than a lot of the moms back then."
Comedian Bill Bailey: "Which appears to mean 'Suspending all rational thought for a moment...'"
moo0039 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disowned my kid for coming out as bisexual and emotionaly abused him and did nothing when his farther physicaly abused him.
Sorry i thought we where going on what our mums did to us.
"...have children" is the only acceptable way to finish that sentence.
ikorolou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, if they're saying. "As a mother I breastfeed" I can't really find issue with that. Or "As a mother I understand that kids can be little shits" or "As a mother I am good at changing diapers." Those are all valid statements.
But "As a mother I find millennials to be really lazy" really doesn't need to include the fact that you are a mother.
"Until you have a child..." Yeah, no, fuck you. I am a grown-ass man who can think for himself. I am entirely aware that my priorities will likely shift when I have offspring, but that doesn't mean I am too fucking stupid to understand that.
I remember when I was young I asked my mom "So we shouldn't abort because the fetus is a life, but what if it endangers the life of the mother? They're both lives, right? So how do you choose?"
She told me, "Ask any mother, and they will tell you that they would sacrifice their life for their child"
It took me a few years to realize that only mothers get abortions
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a parent I..."
Darjeeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this one is mentioned several times a week around here
2gudfou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
lol why does this make you dislike someone? If someone said "As a mother I know how painful childbirth is so trust me when I say you want to take the medication for the pain when it's offered" to a pregnant woman, I wouldn't have a problem with it.
I have a friend who wrote a book about some projects he did with his daughter. Then I was mortified when I introduced another friend to him and she asked "as a soon to be mother" why he had "Dad" in the title.
He's a dad. It's his book. Write your own book. You're not even pregnant.
I honestly don't get how that is some type of credential. Nearly all women are or may be mothers at some point in there lives so what would make that person more special than any other mother?
I always hated this term too but now as a mother...lol j/k....i try my best to not let being a parent be my sole identity outside of my house hold. Some people with children really think their lives are more important then others who don't.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When someone describes themselves as a taxpayer, they are about to be an asshole."
Demitri Martin
cjs3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pediatrician here. I only did general pediatrics for a year before specializing...so I knew I wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of lying long-term...but I don't have children. So I lied. Regularly.
Many parents come in with a holier-than-thou "well, if you had kids, you'd understand" attitude. And, while I don't discredit that, the facts are still the facts. I learned early on that, when approached with the question "so, do YOU have kids?," if I answered "no," information I said was immediately disregarded. However, if I said "Yes," I could follow that with "so hold your child by his/her ankle and cut her left arm off with a machete, Jason style, and he/she will learn" and the parent would be accepting of what I was saying.
So I lied.
I invented a kid. Named Trey. He's been through a lot.
That, and "well tell that to all the mothers out there."
My response: "That phrase means you don't understand what we're talking about, you don't want to understand what we're talking about, and you're threatened by it."
Kignak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations! You had unprotected sex! Weren't you taught never to do that?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A thousand up votes!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did Hr for a stint in a company I worked at and there was 1 woman who butted heads with a few of the employees. Untrained in the ways of ER, I still had to bring her in and talk with her about it. She was shocked and upset I would even suggest that she was being unprofessional towards these 4
Other coworkers and started by saying "As a mother, I would never do any such thing"...
As if being a mother instantly washes away all sins and puts you on the path of a white wizard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Generally any argument prefaced by shit like "as someone who..." Or "As a XYZ" tend to irritate me.
spook327 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Lady, getting pregnant and spawning a child process isn't a miracle. By definition, if two teenagers in the back a Subaru can do it by accident it isn't a miracle."
GV18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I generally agree, but sometimes it is a reasonable thing to say. When it's a topic you're versed in, and something you can give insight to, it makes sense. 9 times out of 10 though, it doesn't.
Yeah I totally get where you're coming from it's just when mothers try to use the fact that that they're a mother in a situation that has nothing to do with that.
Yeah I totally get where you're coming from it's just when mothers try to use the fact that that they're a mother in a situation that has nothing to do with that.
As a mother, I have to disagree. Materity and child-rearing change practically everything about a person's worldview, including subtle ways that you would not expect. It is possible that mothers really do have unique insights in situations that are not obviously related to motherhood.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But. If you are a soldier, and a person who has never been a soldier tells you what it's like to be a soldier, you would bristle a bit. If you had to sit through a lecture about soldiering and studies about soldiers and it seemed very different than your day to day experience as a soldier, you would bristle and maybe even speak up.
Any of us who has been though something do not like people who have not experienced it to tell us how to do it better, or how they would do it. And most people will in some way discredit studies that contradict their personal experience. Because our own experiences are very personal to us.
It's easy to shit on mothers. We all have one, and becoming a functioning adult requires us to discredit her authority. But if I've done it, and you haven't, then whatever you learned from your own childhood or from a book loses validity to me. Have one or two and then we'll talk.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:39:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"as a ________" is just irritating in general.
As a doctor
As a lawyer
As a woman
As a man
As a THIS THAT AND THE OTHER THING OMG I DON'T CARE
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."
EDIT: Since a few people have asked: If it's being used to say "If I'm feeling depressed/injured/lost and you're not there to help me, then you don't deserve to share my joy during the good times," then I have no problem with it. If it's being used to defend otherwise inexcusable actions, that's when I've got a problem with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doot doot
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 22:01:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my fucking god if I see another mr skeltal reference I'm gonna find whoever started it, tear their shins out and cut their throat with the jagged bones.
MelSimba ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:14:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never even seen it used like that by anyone I've known. It's always "at my worst" as in short-tempered, petty, vindictive, underhanded, and backstabbing. And the people I've seen say this have "at their worst" apply to them a good 80%+ of the time. "At their best" just means "the very scarce occasion when I don't feel like being a total asshole."
It's the favorite phrase for many of my Facebook friends (most of whom are more "watch the trainwreck from afar" friends than "actively make an effort to correspond" friends), and all of them are shitty, toxic people who think that the quote means they deserve an SO who will treat them like a princess (or prince in the occasional case) and smile through their every effort to actively make everyone else's lives worse. Basically irredeemable people who think they're entitled to everyone they know being punching bags and sycophants. But man, their disastrous lives are fun to watch.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol'd IRL :D
This thread came up when I remembered a situation where I just met a friend's friend and we were eating out. He threw trash on the floor deliberately and when I inquired what made him think that's OK, he just answered "What? I'm giving the janitor some work. That's what they're here for." No motherfucker, you're an entitled brat who has a comfortable excuse. I might kick your teeth in "To give your dentist some work." This interaction made me dislike him immediately. Some time later I found out that it's a common thing people say when they litter blatantly and I wondered what else people say that piss others off.
Abyssx3 ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 17:06:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be a Janitor right out of high school. I worked in the ghetto in a middle school. You know urban kids like to fool around make a mess and graffiti everything. I got kind of lucky and my building assignment was three story structure the first floor was the school's cafeteria, the cafeteria manager was very clean as often times water bugs would get in since the this was the ground floor so by the time I started my shift all the trash bags in the cans were replaced, the floor was swept and in a neat pile. There was always milk and juice on the floor and originally I used to have to mop the entire cafeteria but about a month into the job they got a fancy riding machine that replaced the mopping. So I usually finished the Cafeteria in about an hour. The second floor was the first set of classrooms. These were pretty bad I spent a good 3 hours sweeping, dusting, pulling gum of the floor, painting over graffiti, etc. The third floor had the nicest teachers. They all got together and cleaned up their classrooms or at least had all the kids pick up their chairs at the end of the day. There was most nothing to do on that floor accept put bags on all the already emptied cans. My supervisor got upset with me a few times for not doing anything because he wouldnโt see my garbage can full or my supplies out on the third floor so I got into the habit of bringing up some of the trash from the second floor and tossing in the hallways of the third floor so if my supervisor ever came to check up on me I had something to do.
I used to do something like this when I was a janitor. I wouldn't put the trash there but if the boss was around I would sometimes leave it on the floor until I saw that she was coming so I could be seen cleaning it up. She was kind of a micromanager and if she didn't see you working she would assume you were goofing off somewhere or don't have enough to do. I would make sure that I always looked very busy when she was around. There was plenty of work to do usually, but sometimes it would be a slow time of the day or maybe I was just extra efficient that day, etc. Then she'd walk by when you've just finished a task and you're standing there with your hands in your pockets and she'd think that's all you do all day.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:49:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I accidentally dropped my milk once and one of the custodians made a big deal about me having to mop it up. No, I didn't drop the milk on purpose. Yes, it is your job to mop it up. The other janitors were cool but that one was a bitch.
Abyssx3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:56:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh this reminds just reminded me. So the third floor as I stated was always really clean. Let me back up, the hallways all had lockers but the school decided years ago not to assign any lockers to students. Occasionally a locker would break and kids would use them personal trash cans. No biggie I already knew the broker lockers by heart I'd just put my trash bin under it and scoop everything in. The teachers on the third floor all made an effort to keep it as classy as possible and one day the kids had a free day and the teachers decided to ask the school principal for the locker keys and have the kids clean up all the lockers. Nobel idea for sure. But biggest mistake ever. One of the lockers had a carton of Milk. I guess it had been undisturbed for years the hall way never smelled bad or anything but one of the kids cleaning up knocked it over and this black...cheese?...started to ooze out. That hallways smelled like the worst(or best if you're French) cheese in the world for months. MONTHS!.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, that's disgusting. See, I think it's fine that the kids helped clean up. But whoever put the carton of milk in there is an asshole. For a better story, when I was in kindergarten I threw up in class after lunch, and the janitor came in and cleaned it up. She asked me if I was feeling okay and if all my lunch was gone, lol.
Doing a shitty job 1400 times in a row makes a person bitchy. Some of them believe that if they bitch at you, you might be more careful in the future because you had an emotional attachment to the event. There's no way in hell that you'd receive a reward, so you received a reprimand.
Daneth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While that example is fairly dickish, I make a point to leave something small (such as a straw wrapper or napkin) on my table when I dine in at a fast food restaurant. I can't count the number of times when the employees see that a surface is "clean enough" and don't bother wiping it down after someone eats there. It's gross and leaving something behind basically forces them to clean up after you leave instead of letting another hapless customer discover it.
teh_fizz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:51:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's fucked up. I had a friend like that and immediately called him out on it. He didn't like it and accused me of thinking I a better than him and brought up old shit from the past. Looked straight into his eyes and said "You're right, I am better than you." Picked up the trashed and walked off.
If there's a sign that says throw the shells on the floor, thats what I do. They put sawdust down anyway, so someones already sweeping it no matter what.
Alagore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, you get the point. Most of the places that do it usually have buckets or something to throw them in but if the floor is already covered in shells, would it still be a asshole move to still toss them on the ground?
I have a cousin who works at Walmart. He throws trash from his lunch in the parking lot as "job security" for the parking lot crew. Not some I really expect from a 36 year old.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if that were coming from anyone, that quote suddenly sounds abusive as fuck.
FTFY
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:28:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Girls just use it as an excuse to be cranky and selfish. Basically to act like babies. When I think of a guy's "worst," it is generally more extreme than that.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:21:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The gender discrimination is pretty important here. And that's because we still don't take emotional/psychological abuse as seriously as physical abuse still. And that's ignoring the fact that a woman can be physically abusive at her "worst".
Also, it's given in the context of men being expected to handle everything because women are inherently unstable. Women are excused from emotional immaturity because they can't help it, they are constantly at risk for being at their worst. However a man being at his worst a sign of overall weakness or plain malevolence.
A lot of the quotes misattributed to her are about how great it is to be a shallow bitch or "lol random"! She was actually a very introspective, intelligent woman. One thing she did say was, "Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you $1000 for a kiss and 50 cents for your soul."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:27:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one who has ever said this has a best to match their worst. At best they're boring and vapid, and worst they're a vindictive asshole. Pretty much 100% of the time.
Once upon a time, in a village by the Old Wood, there lived a young man who had become quite smitten with a maiden named Madalyn. She had hair the colour of sun-drenched wheat, and she was shaped like an hourglass, with bright blue eyes that reminded him of cornflowers. Infatuated with her beauty, the young man asked her if she'd be interested in eating a meal with him. Madalyn agreed, and that very night they dined at the young man's house. He had slaved all afternoon on a lavish meal that had cost him most of his money, and he was giddy with anticipation. When Madalyn arrived though, she opened her pretty mouth and immediately began to complain about everything. She whined that the wine was too bitter, she bemoaned that the boar was too dry. Curiously enough, the more she complained, the uglier she became. Towards the end of the meal, the young man was shocked to see a completely different woman sitting across from him. Madalyn was in fact a hag! Noticing his flummoxed gaze, Madalyn snapped waspishly, "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best!" The young man shook his head and replied, "don't worry; I don't want to handle you in any way."
And he kicked her out of his home and drank what was left of the wine thankful to be by himself once again.
The End
Please don't downvote me for asking but why is this such a big deal? I always see it on reddit and don't understand the hate. If you're in a relationship you kinda need to be able to handle that person at their worst
A bunch of people use this phrase as an excuse to act like an awful human being and to get away with whatever they want.
I can understand the quote in the case of times and health (ex: If someone gets seriously hurt or a loved one dies and you can't be there through the bad, then you don't deserve sharing their joy during the good times). But, if you're using it to defend stupid, immature behavior, then you're probably not having a bad day and are just a horrible person.
I get your initial reaction, when I first saw this I was in high school so people were still figuring themselves out and had a hard time being there for friends or girlfriends/boyfriends during hard times. I always assumed this meant "If you can't handle it when I'm crying over my dead grandfather or sick and disgusting in bed with the flu, you don't deserve me when I'm dressed to the nines having a blast at a party." But then college hit and it became the mantra of all of the overly dramatic people who were at their "worst" 95% of the time and expected their significant other to cater to that nonsense rather than trying to better themselves.
Yeah I get it now. But I feel like someone could say that and mean it in the good way. I'm not gonna hate people that say that unless it's obvious that they use it as an excuse to do whatever they want.
mchlyxhn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even Marilyn Monroe didn't mean it in a good way:
โIโm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you canโt handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell donโt deserve me at my best.โ
She was just trying to justify her bad behaviour as part of who she is. Fortunately, Marilyn Monroe's best was pretty damn spectacular, so she got to knock boots with JFK and Joe DiMaggio. No one who uses that term these days come close to looking like Marilyn at her best, so there's no justifying their bad behaviour because there's no upside that counteracts the downside.
which, ironically, completely fulfills its purpose, if a man hates a woman simply because she uses that phrase, doesn't it?
like, now you've left her alone and won't bother her anymore simply because you realized she holds this belief, and you're probably the type of person she would also hate, so... it worked out perfectly.
does nobody notice this?
badjuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me on the manic down-swing, you'll be sick of me by the time I get to the up-swing"
DovahSpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best." -Adolf Hitler
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
see, but that's something that makes sense if used correctly. I struggle with depression and at my worst, I'm pretty...not fun to be around. I've had plenty of fair weather friends/partners that wouldn't even talk to me while in that state, only wanted to hang out when I was having an up day. that's annoying. I don't want a friend that will only be there when I'm already happy, I want a friend that will be like "look bitch I know you're having a tough time let's make cookies and tea and just sit in the dark with them listening to whatever music you want ok? ok."
That's the key... if used correctly. If you use it correctly, I don't have a problem with it.
It's when people use that as an excuse to justify their behavior and everything that they say.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know who couldnt handle marylin monroe at her worst? Marylin fucking monroe!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I especially hate all these quotes attributed to Marilyn Monroe. I'm a fan of hers and all of those "You can't handle me at my worst", "Imperfection is beauty, madness is blah blah", "If you're going to be two faced, make one of them pretty", etc. drive me NUTS.
Why people think Marilyn Monroe, is any kind of role model is beyond me. She was a porn star and actress who slept with the president and died of an overdose.
If you can't handle me at my boniest, you don't deserve me at my dootiest.
mchlyxhn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find people who use that quote to be vapid as fuck, although that's just anecdotal. These women can't look past Marilyn Monroe's superficial traits and see her for who she really was. If you were looking for a role model, some lady with mental issues that got passed around by the Kennedys and ended up abusing drugs and overdosing is a pretty shitty candidate. If that's a woman's worst, then her best won't be good enough for me to give a damn.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every fucking thread, I swear to god.
AOEUD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh... I had no idea it could mean anything other than "If I'm feeling depressed/injured/lost and you're not there to help me, then you don't deserve to share my joy during the good times".
And then I felt heavily judged by reddit because I feel that way a lot of the time with my many fair weather friends.
Arumple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even Marylyn Monroe couldn't handle herself at her worst.
I had an ex who used it to mean "if you can't sympathize with me when I am irrationally angry at you for literally no reason whatsoever, you're a fucking piece of human shit."
This is literally a top comment on every thread even vaguely related to this one, it's pretty much a karma whore's dream comment (not saying OP is a karma whore).
I know this bitch who has a "dating requirements" list. This was on the list, but right before it was, "If you're going to be depressed/mad/negative in general, don't be around me because you will make me depressed/mad/negative." I don't know how any sensible guy could look at that and think, "Yeah, that seems fair."
Not a phrase, but that shrill super-loud laugh people give when they want to show how much FUN THEY ARE HAVING WOO HOO! Not to be confused with a genuine laugh.
blazik ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 15:54:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, people with annoying laughs. I feel bad for hating it but deep down it makes me hate the person a tiny bit.
Valdrax ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 17:50:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone with an annoying laugh, I'm sorry, I hate the way it sounds in recordings too.
However, I'm not going to stop and muffle myself. I've let too much joy in life over the years be dampened by self-consciousness over the way my laugh sounds. Ya'll can just deal.
blazik ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:51:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no doubt, I don't want you to change, it just makes me slightly hate you in an irrational way and there's nothing you can do about it. Other than that we could be the best of friends.
I hate it when people see or hear something funny enough for a little chuckle, but end up making this shrieking noise that ends up just hurting my ears, because apparently it was that fucking funny!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:50:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I know right! Every fucking chat with people I know from real life is spammed with the hebrew version of HAHAHAHAHAHA and its fucking annoying, they don't even laugh they just spam it.
When someone really laughs he should just write lol and even that do only in a chat, not in a fucking fourm(that's for the people who write lol in Reddit).
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:14:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the letter that makes the "ch" sound, like in chutzpa. theres no vowel indicated (Hebrew vowels are mostly for beginning readers), so it technically could be translated as HHHHHH, but the a sound is assumed.
Source: Have a lot of international FB friends, know how to say "haha" in about 20 different dialects
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine a group of white girls in a limo on prom night. The sunroof opens and they stand up in their seats so that their heads and torsos are outside of the vehicle.
At this point, they all raise their arms above their heads and make a loud "WOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW" noise.
But it's not an open-ended "wooo" like how you'd pronounce "John Wu". It's somehow got an accent. The "oooo" rhymes with "whew" or "ew" more than "too", if that makes sense.
I was trying to point out that it's always the Jedis who say "ONLY the sith deal in absolutes".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:25:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I got that. And I was pointing out that by saying that, the so-called Jedi outs himself as a Sith.
doinstuf ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:33:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then what are comedians supposed to make jokes about...?
AtoZZZ ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 03:38:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's different. Before everyone decided to become PC, comedy was fun and people understood it as a joke. Now it's all just labeled as racism, and you'll hear from the SJW police
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BRB Not politically correct.
Datorias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:47 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say stuff like woman always and men always is it really that bad?
BTW I don't use it in a derogitoty fashion only if I noticed similarities and differences between the sexes.
heap42 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:23:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women are always female.
edave64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
amb5267 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boss does this constantly. Runs over like his ass is on fire saying "I've got to talk to you about something!" then wanders off and forgets all about it.
If you don't think Prachett was witty, then you must not think anyone is witty. I agree sometimes specific lines fall flat, but he's really good overall, which is why he's one of the most popular authors of the UK.
7up478 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 21:01:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This guy's OP by the way. It's kind of amazing how everyone keeps saying "relevant username" despite not looking at the fact that like two lines up OP has the same username.
lol I know, right? The guy responded with the bagel thing because of his username. It wasn't some coincidence that he saw something really relevant to his username.
ofa776 ยท 1342 points ยท Posted at 15:31:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You realize that the bagel fucking guy is the op of this one comment string right? He didn't just come out of nowhere, he was replying to a reply on his comment.
I wish I had gold to gild you for every awesome poem I see you write. It is such a cool thing a lot of people not "in the know" are missing out on. You should really publish a book, however i'm not sure how you would deal with "intellectual property" of the commenters' posts you write about.
Someday...I will comment on something. People will think it brilliant and give me sweet karma...then world famous reddit user poem_for_your_sprog will write a funny and enlightening poem...just for me...and I will weep sweet tears of joy.
azrhei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are one of those rare people that makes the world a better place by gifting it with your art; I am so very glad that I stand witness to your gems on occasion.
embaked ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can you please start a religion - i'll willing to go all out jihad for you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. I think I know that guy. There was a party at my house and my friend who works at a bagel shop comes over and brings a bag of bagels. Later on this dude is trashed and declares he's going to fuck the bagel and then goes into the bathroom and comes back about 5 minutes later with the bagel looking fucked.
Had a girl at work say this statement frequently with seriousness and to be fair, I wouldn't fuck with her. She'd even tell people she just met! Out of everyone else there, we believe she'd be the first one to bring in an assault rifle & do something really stupid. She got a job somewhere else thankfully!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I didn't know that but I know she isn't a gamer (she talked about EVERYTHING in her life, whether appropriate for work or not) & I can assure you she didn't quote a video game. She was & is, the definition of "bat shit crazy", 5 minutes with her would change your outlook on that one! I feel bad for her in a way too..
I'd like to come up with a phrase that expresses the sentiment that "rules are made to be broken" intends to convey. Something like "Fuck you and your stupid rules" but maybe less crass.
โA just law is a man made code that squares with the moral law or the law of God. An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law.โ
โAny law that uplifts human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust.โ
"One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust lawsโ
If you follow rules without question you are no more than a slave
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:42:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think bagelfucker or his thousands up upvoters understand this.
I'd be depressed if I didn't choose to suspect that most of those upvotes were bought.
Ah fuck. I'm depressed anyway.
asdf072 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:33:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Related: In the military we had, "In a perfect world ..." It's intended to imply a rule is impossibly difficult to uphold in the current situation. In reality, it's almost always a lazy copout for not doing the things you should. Hearing that phrase infuriates me.
That actually means that there are always exceptions and alternate points of view.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's not what most people mean when they say this. It's usually said by some self-centered twat with a massive sense of entitlement who thinks him or herself to be the only exception and should receive special treatment or allowed to do something illegal as fuck.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't help when almost everything is illegal as fuck.
mbleslie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
depends... in the art world if you strictly follow the rules your work will be boring. you have to break the rules, in a very self-aware manner (it's pretty arbitrary) to gain originality
Y'all seem to be forgetting the obvious "God damn I hate niggers." That kinda pisses me off
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that phrase just means that you need to brake rules over and over in order to find out what exactly is wrong with them and how to fix them. it's like hacking an antivirus. you do it to expose flaws and make it right. of course that phrase is correct, you are just a piece of shit hippy.
The_Yar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the point is that if no one ever does it, you don't need a rule.
Rules are made so you can punish those who break them. They're made to be broken.
I think what this phrase means that ideally rules start off as rules but in a perfect world become guildlines. "Dont speed past 45". While technically a rule, I see it as a guideline since, essentially 46 is no different from 45, but we must draw the line somewhere.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But Arnold said I could breakz tze rulez?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, when you run across people on a single lane each-way highway going 10 miles under the speed limit; and you pass them on a solid double yellow line; making sure not to pass when there are visible obstructions such as a hill; and then all of a sudden they speed up once they realize what is going on; only to have their egos deflated when you can accelerate 10x faster; and then want to chase you for "breaking the law" -- no mother fucker, fuck you for driving like old people fuck; slow and sloppy, now get the fuck out of the way...
In my experience. Rules are created because someone learned something the hard way and because they believe and other people whom have experienced similar believe there is no way to avoid learning that hard way other then to restrict a freedom. I would argue that while experience can often lead to the same result; it doesn't always and it only takes one person with a unique idea or technique to overcome the experience that caused the rule to be created to begin with. In other words; just because you burnt yourself on a stove and make a rule that we shouldn't touch the stove doesn't mean that someone can't figure out how to use the stove without burning themselves. Fuck the rules. They're just restrictions for stupid people that would just burn themselves otherwise. ;)
(Yes I know some rules actually make sense; I like to play devils advocate)
Thats why i learned how to fly, fuck you gravity! I break ALL LAWS
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love how they always retort with some stupid revolutionary statement like "If we always followed the rules then we'd be in a fascist society" as if following the rules makes you some sort of sheep.
Rules are in place so society can exist, I mean, it's like 'society 101'.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I say this one a lot, here's my explanation:
Rules aren't made to be broken, but it's more like "Too many broken rules are made, so the only reasonable thing to do is to break those rules". I'm not talking about being a blatant idiot and doing completely dangerous/illegal things.
For me, the big thing is I think it's important to question why people do things and why certainly rules exist (figuratively or imaginatively). When you stop caring about "fitting in" or "following the rules", you can free yourself from a lot of things holding you back.
If you look at a lot of really successful people, you do find some patterns of "rule breakers". A stunning example of this would be Steve Jobs.
GabTej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always been partial to what House said on the matter:
Rules are just helpful guidelines for stupid people who can't make up their own minds.
When the rule is stupid and lacks merrit though...
But that is usually not the reason why these people break rules.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey jinx
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Rules are made to be broken" is the predecessor to "YOLO".
While some adventurous people use You Only Live Once to inspire courage to attempt things that you might otherwise be timid about, it's evolved into parody of itself and has been popularized as a phrase that represents brazen stupidity when someone should know better.
Much like RAMTBB signified before.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a middle school teacher who once used the line, "promises were ment to be broken." She made us write an in class essay when she said we would do it tomorrow :[
People who make up their own rules or act as if rules don't apply to them drive me nuts. They think its leadership like behavior to not follow the rules, but the very opposite is true. A good leader lives with integrity and stands on a firm, structured foundation. After all, a good leader must first be a good follower. Where there's no order, there's no leadership or followership.
I am an electrical technician. Put on your FUCKING PPE. Holy fucking shit. I am so fucking sick of being a bitch because I have no tolerance for people who have the attitude that rules were made for people who are dumb but I am smart so I can bend the rules and put my hands in here and shit and violate LOTO and close the cage door while I'm inside and shit. FUCK you. I am not performing CPR on you or shaving your fucking saggy tits because you want so bad to have lived your whole fucking life just to be a cautionary tale, with colour pictures.
Rozzlin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like buildings, or People!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only people I've ever heard say are scumbags who are badly trying to justify doing something really illegal/unethical.
Case in point- I used to work for a local politician. Some sleazy guy kept calling our office to get a local bylaw changed so he advertise his shitty limo business on his house's roof (and to extend his driveway into city property). He kept trying to bribe us. And after we reminded him that bribing a civil servant is illegal he said, "That's ridiculous. Rules are meant to be broken."
SURE, BUD.
bobtpro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like buildings! and people!
KelMage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ug... lawfuls are always such a drag...
Some rules are meant to be broken, either because they are stupid, because they are wrongheaded, or because the breaking of that rule makes a statement. Some examples you may be familiar with:
Segregation
Drug Laws
Sexual mores (often entrenched as laws)
Homophobic laws
All these issues were once laws. Transgression of those 'rules' was/is illegal. Adherence to those rules is/was unethical. Sometimes, my friend, fuck the rules.
Ofcourse rules are made to be broken. If no one breaks the rule you wouldn't need it in the first place. A rule is there so that when someone breaks it you can justify punishment.
Every time I see someone wearing a t-shirt saying "rules are made to be broken," "break all the rules" or similar, I always want to steal their wallet and then point at the t-shirt.
I look forward to future Teen Nick shows in which the main character does something outrageous and an onlooking old lady exclaims in a stuffy Mid Atlantic accent "I can't even!!" and faints.
As a white girl in college who started college before this fully became a thing, it has two meanings depending on context.
It's usually either
"I can't even deal with this/her/him/that/etc. right now" OR
"I can't even begin to describe what I'm feeling/who I'm talking about/how insanely cute it/she/he was."
"OMG, my mom won't stop calling me, I'm so hungover though I can't even" - meaning you're too hungover to deal with your mom nagging you about your summer plans.
"OMG I saw a french bulldog puppy on the street and he was SO CUTE I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN EEEKKKK!!" - meaning the puppy was so fucking cute you have no words to describe it.
But because our lives are so filled with a million other more important things than actually finishing sentences or words (/s), it became "I can't even" with the rest of the sentence implied and people use context/inflection to imply the rest.
TBH, most people shorten it further to "I can't..."
9hrs later, but my new roommate currently says this for everything. I don't even like can't when referring to an action they might actually not be able to do. It's like giving up before trying. Then to hear it for every conversation... I'm losing my mind listening to this woman.
I actually genuinely used this the other day. Never used it before or since. But I was completely dumbfounded by something and actually struggling to comprehend the scenario that was occurring in front of me and I went to speak and this came out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bitch I know you can't because you're a useless, basic chick. You can't even say something original.
Toni826 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I realized the other day that my "I can't even" is "I don't even know." I think everybody has some version of it.
That's a real thing? I thought it was just an Internet thing. But people really say this,with their mouths?
erilol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And along the same vain, "I noped the fuck out of there." Funny and feisty the first time you see those phrases, but after awhile you start to notice everyone is recycling it to look clever and edgy without having come up with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On a scale from 1 to even, I can't.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I literally can't even...
...
...
...
Finish a sentence?
I actually love this phrase. It's clever on a couple of levels. Whatever your problem is, it's so intense that you can't possibly finish the sentence that you started to describe the intensity. The open-ended quality of the phrase allows the listener to insert any number of things that person can't do.
sora825 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually found the phrase kinda funny until it became an overused "white girl" thing.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ferethis ยท 748 points ยท Posted at 15:46:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I do what I want"
Ok, so your socially unacceptable/inappropriate behavior should be excused because it's what you want to do? So that desire I now have to smack you...?
"We don't have room in the back yard for an elephant."
"We should steal a bigger back yard"
"You can't steal a back yard."
"I do what I want."
BrainOil ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:47:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shortly before I found out my ex wife was cheating, her friend busted her pretty much in the act. That is the exact phrase she replied with when her friend asked wtf she was doing.
Ferethis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that is exactly why when someone using that phrase in a serious manner totally pisses me off. They know there is no valid or logical explanation for their behavior, so they pull that out like it means anything other than, "You already think I'm an asshole, so let me make it worse".
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:32:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hitler did nothing wrong he just, like, did what he felt like doin man
I'm a guy who goes home, relaxes in my own way (usually by tinkering with one of my many pieces of home audio equipment), goes to sleep, wakes up, goes to work just to repeat the cycle. I live on my own, when I'm at work, I do everything I can for my customers, give discounts, bend rules, and tell the actual heavy truth about policy and what's happening in relation to them. I don't do drugs, drink, smoke or rip people off. I don't make excuses for what I say or do and you are entitled to your opinion of what I say or do, but it doesn't mean I have to respect it nor listen to it. I just go through life day to day doing whatever I please. I do what I want. It just so happens that I want to be a decent person with no bullshit attached, so why should that be a bad thing?
Ferethis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:45:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That is almost my life exactly, but let me ask you this - how many times has anyone chastised you for something you said or did, and your best defense and actual reply was, "I do what I want"?
"I do what I want" can be a valid philosophy assuming a certain level of consideration and decency, but's it's a shitty explanation for bad behavior.
That's actually my defense for everything. "Why? Because I can." The last time it was called into question, it was because I decided to refloor the bedroom in my home to laminate hardwood and my father asked why. "Cause I wanted to" was pretty much it. And also because if I happened to bring home a date, I wanted at least one area of the house that they might be in to look semi-decent. It turned out really well and I plan on doing most of the rest of the house that way.
Other times, it's because something I did or said was out of the ordinary. Example: I walk next door to my local grocery every day at work to get a drink and sometimes lunch. One of the cashiers there is notoriously snooty. They're mostly high schoolers so I let it go most times. Most people there know me by sight, not by name, as the guy who walks in, gets shit and makes small talk with the cashiers. I crack jokes, but I also just say what's on my mind, usually stupid shit like what's wrong with the earcup on my headphones or what new recipe I'm trying to make. Mostly, they just smile and nod, as cashiers do all day erry day. But on this day, Snooty cashier made a comment about me not using a basket to seem "manly" to the other cashier girls then glared at me when I made a crack about not being a sissy. So I grab my shit, go to check out, and after swiping my card, said: "geez, did your boyfriends wallet dry up or are you just always this bitchy?"
.....oops.
The aftermath was I got a few muffled laughs, she just glared at me and I walked back to my store and didn't think about it until hours later. I did apologize, but I don't think it really helped.
rocrates ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:23:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a shithead of a roommate in college who justified pissing down the carpetsed stairs and headbutting holes in the wall
That goes hand in hand with "I do it because I think it's funny! It doesn't matter, it's just the internet!" which explains how they've alienated everyone at their campus aside from a very small core of very likeminded people that again, no one wants anything to do with. Then they get sad when someone points that out.
"What? I can say what I want! You can't judge me!" Wrong again, No-Friends.
whiznat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was formally "best friends" in high school with this psychotic iiidiot bitch who would sleep around a LOT, even to the point of hurting those around her, fist-fight people, drink and drive waaaayy too much and get kicked out of bars, was totally selfish and self-serving (conversation had to always revolve around her and her highly insufferable uneducated opinions, even saying for years proudly that she hated black people.... like seriously bad) verbally abuse her parents at some points, constantly fuck up at her jobs and get new ones like constantly, (like being shitty at her job WAS her job), and just be a straight up douche canoe. Her pseudo-excuse almost every time she got up to some form of petty debauchery? "I do what I want."
Okay, so "doing what you want" per say gives you permission to be a god damn tool to people that have invested in your life and you found some immature reason to screw over completely?
This succubus and I lived together for 2 years and she ended up stealing me and our other roomate's damage deposit in the end. $600 dollars to get you out of my life? Consider it sold.
True story: last month a guy was trying to steal a TV from a Goodwill in SF Tenderloin. The little sales ladies (he was well over 6') were begging him to stop. I yelled at him to stop (F, 5'6") and told him he ought to be ashamed of himself and to get the hell out. We were making the grab and run difficult and he left, but poked his head inside and answered me "I do what I want!"
If he weren't a good 6-8" taller than me, and certainly cracked out/crazy, I might have continued arguing with him, because REALLY.... Stealing from a charity organization?!
"I do what I want!"
Asshole.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes society can go fuck itself, though. There's situations where this makes sense
Sp3ctre7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say it sarcastically, like when I'm at dinner at college and put bacon bits from the salad bar on a burger.
jazxfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest I say this all the time over little shit, like taking two ketchup packets pretty sure most users are joking
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They aren't saying it should be excused, they're just saying they don't give a fuck if you like it, in a nicer way.
Nugkill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I digitally put Jabba the Hutt back in the original Star Wars, whateva, I do what I want!
Hanta3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, the only two "languages" I have experience scripting is TI-BASIC and a Windows batchfile. I just use C-style commenting as a throwback when I tried SourcePawn.
Yeah I remember the double slash being comment for c++, I somehow never learned about the wrappable comment, which partly explains why my commenting in c++ always sucked
Edit: never learned about wrappable comments *until learning js
Pannuba ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:55:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha yeah, I'm still learning but I always write */ /*. That's why I usually stick with //
I've been trying to get my nephew to start doing it, so by proxy, I have been doing it around him. So far he's just been like "that makes no sense Uncle Deus."
This was really funny the first time. The original story was fantastic. Perhaps it was because at the time, reddit was a much smaller community, so it was really rare to find another redditor. It's gotten really overused and cringe-worthy since then, though.
Wasn't it supposed to be crimge-worthy from the start? I thought that was kind of the point.
ndstumme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not cringe-worthy exactly, just ridiculous enough that no one would say that phrase without having seen it on reddit.
It was originally just a bored redditor chilling in an airport hoping to meet someone to talk to while waiting for her flight. She threw that phrase out there on a whim, but it was funny enough that it spread through reddit for a little while before becoming stale.
Was this ever actually a legit meme on reddit? I've only heard it ironically.
ndstumme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was 6 years ago, just before/during the Digg migration.
Zequez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:18:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's still pretty rare to find redditors in non-english countries, it's still a pretty solid secret phrase, except for the fact that's on Google.
Look up the Penn & Teller show "Bullshit!" and find the episode about "The Best". They bring a guy into a fake restaurant who is a self-proclaimed foodie and feed him dirt-cheap shit dressed up nicely. Guy falls for it hook, line, and motherfucking sinker.
_meraxes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:10:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look up the one where they just serve people hose water.
I consider myself a foodie. I don't consider myself a "foodie" because I think I'm extremely knowledgeable about food or have a very refined palate. I call myself a foodie because I love food and eating. Trying out new cuisines and restaurants is actually one of my favorite things to do.
Maybe I use it wrong but everyone I know (including myself) assumes "foodie" means someone who loves food and are adventurous in trying food.
It sounds like your and P&T's definition of foodie is someone who's a snob about food? Cuz seriously, the foodies I know are just as willing to try a dirt cheap and hell even dirty hole in the wall as they are high brow fare. I've eaten at places that cost over $100/person and I've eaten at places that cost $6/person.
Also, it would be considered more strange for someone to eat the same thing for the rest of their lives rather than try new things.
I'm surprised you've never met these people that like eating the same thing the rest of their lives. I've met plenty. There's someone at work who doesn't eat anything except sandwiches. We used to have group work lunches and he would always order a sandwich (sometimes pasta). If it was unlikely he could order one of the two, he would pass on the lunch.
I've met plenty of people very uncomfortable eating outside the cuisine they were raised eating. A friend of mine (A) went on a trip with another friend (B) and B's mom. A is a foodie. She was eager to eat the local cuisine. B's mom was from China. B's mom ONLY was ok with eating Chinese food, which drove A mad. A said they ate at the same crappy Chinese place for a few meals before A couldn't take it anymore and went off on her own to eat.
In certain parts of the country you have very little choice in variety. If you live in certain places like NYC or LA (and other big cities) then yeah you have access to a HUGE variety of food but for example in the smaller cities in the Midwest your choices are a lot smaller.
I also like food and eating. Mainly because I'm a person, not a 'foodie'.
I know you're being facetious, but this how I differentiate a normal person (everyone does like food after all) vs a foodie.
Are you excited to try new cuisines and dishes?
Is eating your favorite get together past time? As in if you had a choice between clubbing, going to bars to drink, camping, hiking, or hitting up a new restaurant is the new restaurant easily your first choice?
If you see a cuisine you've never seen before is your first thought "I HAVE TO TRY THAT?"
Are you willing to try stranger dishes? That means eating things that the cuisine you've grown up with never used before. For example, chicken hearts, beef tongue, intestines, frog legs, fish liver, sweetbreads (for those who don't know sweetbreads are not breads that are sweet, they're internal organs), etc?
Are you willing to drop money on food? I mean over $100 on a meal just for yourself? And I don't mean doing this to impress someone. I mean doing this because you just like food.
If you travel to a foreign country is the food one of the things that makes you the most excited about it?
If you answer yes to all of these I would consider you a foodie. I've never considered "are you stuck up about food?" to be part of being a foodie. That's a part of being a stuck up elitist asshole (IMO).
anu26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comment has me cracking up like mad, and I LOVE food. Cooking, eating, all of it.
BTW, I'm not sure if you read Goosebumps growing up, but Slappy terrorised me when I was younger.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a foodie, I love eating and making food.
I'm also a slappie and will happily slap people that spend more time talking about the food they are served and even more taking pictures of it.
Especially the ones that care mostly about the visual aspect of food.
Good food doesn't have to be picture perfect, it has to taste great. The visual aspect is a bonus, but one that should never be prioritized over how it actually tastes.
"Good things come to those who wait" bull fucking shit, go out there and do something with your life.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:23:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is true in some circumstances though. Like hearing food sizzling in a microwave but knowing that it's not fully hot yet.
AtoZZZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:44:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, this is actually the key difference between Marxist socialism and Leninist socialism. Marx's argument is that it is inevitable, while Lenin is basically a "we have to make it happen" mentality. Just thought I'd add this
This confuses me because where I live in the UK it's 'I couldn't care less', which makes sense to me because it's saying you care so little that it's impossible for you to care any less, whereas "I could care less" implies you have the potential to give less of a shit, hence you do care a bit, seems to oppose the intended meaning.
Yst ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 16:43:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that's very much it. It's simply a matter of some individuals having regularly heard the phrase "I couldn't care less" spoken quickly and indistinctly, and having thereafter adopted and repeated it without really considering the words being spoken.
Most people, when they speak, go about the business of composing sentences from words. But some people, some of the time, deem it sufficient to simply flap their face meat together in a manner similar to the way in which they've seen other people flap their face meat, when expressing a given feeling. This is one of those cases.
pubbing ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:53:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed at this. Flapping face meat is funny.
gunnk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:50:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's originally from the short story "They're Made out of Meat". A nice video version is here. You can skip to the 4:00 minute mark for flapping meat discussion, but the whole thing is pretty cool.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:37:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
spoken quickly and indistinctly
This is why we have "could of" or "would of" in peoples vocabulary today, both written and spoken.
Written, it drives me nuts, but how can you even tell when it's spoken? "Could've" and "could of" are pronounced the same, and context tells you which one it is. (I can't think of a single sentence where "could of" makes sense, anyway.)
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the time people pronounce them the same but sometimes it's obvious someone is saying 'could of'. I heard a young footballer use 'could of' in a radio interview after a game this weekend.
This is why you say such made up shit as "an apron" and you should feel bad every time you say it since it is obviously wrong. And then, when you're done with that, every time you speak, or write "what" "where" "why" or "white" instead of "hwat" and the rest, you need to tell yourself that you're just being an idiot.
It's simply a matter of some individuals having regularly heard the phrase "I couldn't care less" spoken quickly and indistinctly,
First off, we don't actually know the origins of the usage of "Could care less". However, one of the prominent theories is that it originated from such Brooklyn Jewish sayings as "I should be so lucky" as a sarcastic quip.
It's not that people just didn't understand what they were saying, exactly like every time you say "head over heels" you aren't just too stupid to realize it was actually "heels over head."
Allisade ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:35:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty harsh.
When you make it a leading statement implying there's more but then don't even bother to end it, it says "I could care less... it's possible... but..."
And of course I've known people who use the phrase and actually include an ending for (possibly) greater / funnier effect.
I could care less.... but I can't imagine how.
I could care less... but not much less, I'm nearly at the bottom.
I could care less... but it would be very difficult.
I could care less... but I already care very little and caring less would take effort.
I could care less... but even doing that is worth more than this subject deserves.
I could care less... but I don't, I care exactly enough to say this, and nothing more.
Naturally I'll assume the people you hate just don't use it so well.
Cereborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've co-opted this practice into my own phrase: "I could care less, but not by much."
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:13:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Yst ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:58:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that isn't it at all. What you're suggesting is ridiculous and would never happen.
Are you honestly proposing that an idiom or a turn of phrase is never misheard and repeated nonsensically? This happens constantly. Entire books are devoted to the topic. Eggcorns and Mondegreens are everywhere.
You may wish to promote your idea of how this phrase is used. But throwing away the idea of malapropisms in human speech altogether in order to accomplish that is just silly.
Yes it is. If someone said "no" non-sarcastically when they meant "yes" because they'd heard "no" being used to mean "yes" but didn't realise that was sarcasm they would be using it wrong.
I'll be more specific then in many peoples dialects / ideolects, "could care less" and "couldn't care less" are interchangeable, or they only have one of the two variations, where either would have similar or identical meanings.
pragmatically they may vary, but the meanings themselves do remain the same for a large number of speakers.
Meaning, it is no different than any other idiomatic expression and doesn't follow the rules of compositionality.
I'm American, I lived in the UK for awhile. Every so often I would hear an expression that I didn't understand. So of course, I told them they were wrong, all idioms have to make literal sense! And then later on went to explain how no one can understand "to dust" because it can mean other "to remove dust" or "to add dust". I mean what kind of insane bullshit is that?
r4mm3rnz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see it as a lazy way of saying "as if I could care less". That's how I justify it anyway.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always thought it just means you care some but you're threatening to care less. In other words "don't push the subject."
might as well say, "i've only got one fuck left to give today, and i'm not gonna waste it on that shit."
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:53:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
see i think it means you could potentially care less about a subject, but you didn't even care enough to care less. its like its already wasted enough of your energy. you could let it effect you more and you could care less but fuck it you dont care enough about it to care less. thats how shitty it is.
How can you not care enough to care less? Surely zero caring would be the default state and you wouldn't have to put in extra effort to reach that.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
extra effort man. its like fuck it just drop it. you know? its like a bag of potato chips. theres still some at the bottom, but fuck it i'm not exerting the extra energy to even care about eating them. i'm just done with that whole bag of chips, you know?
its like i could care less if i wanted to, but i dont even want to exert the energy to care less. i dont care enough to care less than i do now and just wanna fuckin move on
but fuck it i'm not exerting the extra energy to even care about eating them
See, that's what I mean. You have to exert energy to care. By not caring you don't exert energy.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:15:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i could care less. but i don't even want to try to.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
honestly at this point man, i could care less if you're going to understand this. i know it's like super high above your head and you're waltzing in my territory which is on a whole different level but if you aren't gonna get it you aren't gonna get it and at this point, i could care less if you do or not.
pyro5050 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:48:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i personally have taken to saying i could care less to people when i care about something... it confuses the shit outta them when i start a debate on the topic with fervor! :)
I think what people are saying is would've, should've, and could've not would/should/could of. They're actually contractions and they're correct grammar.
That's absolutely what they should be saying but they're not. That's why I hate seeing 'would/should/could of'. They're spelling it phonetically, which I can totally understand the logic of (not logic've lol).
Ha well I think of it like some people pronounce it would-ive and some people pronounce it would-ove but it's still would've. Now if they're spelling it "would of", well fuck them.
Cereborn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly what they do. Pay attention on Reddit and you'll see it.
dakky68 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:27:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, they truly think it's "of", not "have".
nolo_me ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:04:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because they're not taught the logic: remove the "could", is it still grammatical?
*'ve is correct and when people are speaking it can sometimes be hard to tell the difference between 've and of but there are definitely people who are clearly saying and writing of.
loumi02 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:19:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone whose first language isn't English, that one puzzles me so much. It literally means the opposite of what you're trying to say. Don't people realise that?
sora825 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase is supposed to be "I could not care less", but over time as people said it faster and slurred it, it became "could care less".
You're right though, people now say it the opposite of what they mean.
Aww, that's kind of you. At least you care a little
The_Yar ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:15:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, only a little.
That's the point of the phrase. No one would say "I could care less" unless they already cared a significantly small amount.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:43:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
The_Yar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if that qualifies as polite.
Evonex ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:37:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I KNEW it wasn't supposed to be said that way. No one believed me.
sir_mrej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weird Al believes you
Rial91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How can you say something in a way? Ways are at best two-dimensional, they have no inside. You could say something on a way, but why should it be forbidden to say something on certain ways?
StDoodle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:22:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Woooosh! ;)
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:22:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't even make sense. That means if you could care less, you do care a bit. If you couldn't care less, then that means you flat dont give a fuck.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Correct phrase:
I couldn't care less.
tbag403 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No motherfucker, you cant care less.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But it's not worth the effort" is the second half of that phrase.
It's lost on a lot of people because it's rarely said. But I like to use, "I could care less but it isn't worth the effort" over "I couldn't care less"
20150623 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a native English speaker so I could care less, but there seem to be some theories on where the idiom comes from.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fully understand that you have a lower level of caring you could sink to. Motherfuckers....
sprout92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I remember hearing this I flipped shit in the back seat of the car for 45 minutes about how it just didn't make sense. As a 6 year old I was like "well obviously you care a little if you could care any less" and ranting and such. My dad finally said "it's because nothing in this world makes sense. Life sucks and then you die." So I broke down crying and my mom was pissed. /stupid pointless story
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh god so many arguments because of this. if you can care less, you at least care an infinitesimal amount which would indicate you care at all which means YOU GIVE AT LEAST ONE SHIT
For the longest time I didn't realize people were mis-saying the phrase "I couldn't care less." I thought they were saying "I don't care for it much, but I'm not absolutely ignoring it."
"So you could care less! Well good thing you don't."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh! Fuck. This bother me so much. Just fucking think about what you're saying. If you could care less it fucking means you care so you are saying exactly the opposite of what you are trying to say!!!!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I think this statement needs an addition, make if "I could care less but I'm not going to"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Then why don't you?"
00Mogar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially if they're using it in an argument.
"Oh I could care less about X"
Thanks for proving to me you still care about it enough to value it higher than something else. If you wanted it to be offensive it's :"I couldn't care less."
The whole generation of people who jumped on, attacked, belittled, and smugly proclaimed that "I could care less" has a literal translation that isn't logical come across as the most douchey, anti social, moronic, and least happy group of people I can think of outside a New Jersey strip club.
You've created such a circle-jerk that people will blindly jump on the hate train because of a god damn phrase just to put someone down for "not knowing" something so obvious. If you really think that separates you from "all those other people" I'm afraid to say you're probably the stupid one.
The backlash this has caused to my psyche is no doubt just as viciously soul-eating as the original attack, and I sincerely hate you all for it. Fucking let it go.
It is straight up rascism... I mean the only time I can see "You speak so well" Is when referring to someone who learnt a different first language.
Zemogray ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:52:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go to a majority white private school. It's like they've never seen a black person before. I know they don't mean anything by it, but God is it annoying
There is a thin line between honest ignorance and willful stupidity. When I went to college, I was a lot of people's first black friend. Most of them were like "oh, here is this really smart, funny, cool, unique human being". some of them were like "here is this walking talking stereotype for my amusement."
If you are over 18 and you don't know the difference between television and real life then you are a jackass and I don't really want anything to do with you.
Tanexion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:51 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My GOD, yes man.
So many people seem to be just waiting for the moment when the 1 black person in the group will make some stupid joke like it's some movie or tv show. And then when the black person turns out to not be the fool they think he is, so much disappoint. Then he's just boring.
I cannot stand people like this.
VPPython ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:57:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a majority white private school, and I was pretty much the only non-stereotypical black guy there. Those 4 years sucked.
Hopefully it's not the same at the majority white college I'm going to.
no, it's condescending. It's basically saying that the fact that you are not a bumbling idiot is an accomplishment...they don't expect much more out of you based on the way that you look.
Depends on the context. If they say it with a surprised tone of voice, sure it's condescending. It is possible to say that phrase in a complimentary way.
One of my buddies hates this shit. He gets told he "acts white" all the time because he reads a lot, dresses nicely, properly pronounces his words, listens to a lot of rock and pop music, etc.
His general response is along the lines of "No, motherfucker, I'm not acting white! I'm acting like person."
It is, they're just a moron who doesn't understand symmantics. They prefer the most derogatory word they can find because they're an easily offended child who needs to grow up and stop assuming everything is an attack on them.
I have no friends, I find they never live up to my expectations. Hollywood has given me an unrealistic view on friends and they can never be what I want. Friends, seinfeld, the breakfast club, how I met your mother. No one is ever willing to actually commit.
Very true. Which is why I try to say that I'm willing to be honest. I do ask if someone really wants me to be honest before I say something that I know well be hurtful, and if they give me the go-ahead, I'm still polite and detached. Deliberately choosing the most hurtful way to say something and then hiding behind your so-called "honesty" is lazy and cowardly.
People who brag about brutal honesty, tend to enjoy and be more skilled with the brutality than the honesty
10-200 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I consider myself to be an honest person. But just because I'm honest, doesn't mean I have to speak on something that would hurt feelings or to be rude.
My friends are constantly asking "Do you like my hair?" Or "Do you like my outfit?". Sometimes I do like those things. However, I just say "What really matters is if you like it or not".
Because I don't want to hurt feelings or come off as rude, but I also don't want to lie.
I've been called brutally honest by lots of people, so now I feel that I was being rude somewhere along the way.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And wrong. They're also normally wrong.
Fgame ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But brutally honest sounds better :(
[deleted] ยท 238 points ยท Posted at 15:47:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Is that a thing people over 13 say? The only reason I know what that is is because my girlfriend is in school to become a grade school teacher and student teaches and she told me about it.
"Educate yourself." READING MOMMY BLOGS IS NOT "EDUCATION"
"Doctors think they know better than me what's best for my kids." THEY DO. THAT'S WHY THEY'RE DOCTORS.
Dudamis ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:31:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, definitely not anti-vaccination but, there are dumb doctors or over worked doctors and they can give false verification to those people. For example: as a child my wife nearly died because the doctors' remedy for anemia was to have her chew on raw steak. Now my mother in law does not trust doctors and is extremely susceptible to pseudo - science. Thank god she has no computer or access to Facebook.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:06:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
!!!RACECAR
amb5267 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:35:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"After doing extensive research on the subject, I chose not to vaccinate my kids"
Translation: "After googling some wacky anti-vaxxer websites, I chose to put all other kids at risk so my special snowflakes don't have to get needles"
That bothers me to no end. I don't really have a problem with an adult being ignorant if it only harms themselves but leave an innocent child out of that.
It only hurts not only them but other healthy people around them. Beyond children too, seniors can get affected due to compromised immune systems from parents avoiding getting their kids basic scientifically backed shots.
[deleted] ยท 196 points ยท Posted at 15:28:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I think the world will end on [some date in the near future]"
bonus points if: "because of marriage equality."
punky67 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:19:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A guy in my work said it will end in september because he watched a bunch of youtube videos on the new world order and the illuminati. He now thinks his "eyes are open" and that everyone else is "asleep". He's a fucking moron.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:34:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, one of my used to be good friends said September 23rd. I googled and read that it can be anywhere between Sept. 22-28th or some shit like that. Her sources are boys she's dated recently and an old guy who retired to research this, all of them being "engineers". Basically, these people are like janitors and she's referring to them as toilet paper engineers to give you an idea of how ridiculous her logic is. She's not the brightest cookie, either.
TheLuper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How bout' i buy you a 24 pack of shut the fuck up
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:54:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily a phrase but anything related to people saying how much they aren't "normal". Those stupid ads of "who would ever want to be normal?" Because the people that desperately try to be 'not normal' are the blandest people ever.
I feel like those are the only people who say cray or even cray cray anymore, middle aged women and people using it sarcastically. pretty soon it'll be the new yo/homie/lol/etc. and people will forget they used it sarcastically in the first place
I have a friend that's 25 and uses it all the time on conversation. I'm not sure if she's immature or trolling me because I hate it with fiery passion.
Someone in my office says "awesomesauce" whenever I do anything to help her.
Hannyu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:46:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I hear a grown ass person say cray-cray I have the burning desire to kill their progeny so that they can't pass their stupid on to the next generation.
DovahSpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not in a serious manner. Joking is fine depending on the context and delivery.
Hannyu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:46:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I hear a grown ass person say cray-cray I have the burning desire to kill their progeny so that they can't pass their stupid on to the next generation.
blazik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hannyu you so cray-cray!
Hannyu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:26:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Woah there Satan.
crewblue ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:48:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what's even worse than the people who say that? The people who say that because they're being "meta" or "ironic" or whatever. They know it's stupid, and they say it anyway.
[deleted] ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 16:42:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I never would have guessed you were gay!"
jrmax ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 17:50:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could totally pass for straight!
[deleted] ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 18:43:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're gay? But your voice..."
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:00:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're not like other [broad category of people]. It's just as bothersome when they say "You're not like other men" or "You're not like other black people," etc.
Everybody who plays Dota2 is a basement dwelling neckbeard with zero social sense and even worse fashion sense.
Not you though.
There, is that a little more relatable for ya?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lmao thats true tho
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:21:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Either it's an insult to you or it's a compliment to you and an insult to all other gay people. There's something fascinating about a statement that no matter how it's interpreted is demeaning to someone.
It all depends on what you're implying. If you're implying that gay men have a much keener sense of fashion than straight men, since it's a positive generalization and widely considered to be true then they might not correct you.
If you say something like "You're not like other gay people, you hardly talk!" then you're implying that gay people are chatty Cahty's and, being a negative generalization, you will be looked down upon by gay people, regardless of whether gay men in general really do talk more than straight men.
Just flip "gay" with "black"... you'll figure it out when it's appropriate and when it's not.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:27:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even want to go shopping with people I actually like - why on earth would I want to go with some twat who wants a pet flamer to drag around like a bitchy handbag dog.
Don't sugarcoat it. Tell us what you really think. Lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, a million times yes. "You're my favourite gay person." Or "you're my GBF" makes me want to go feral and argumentative on their ass, but that would be rude.
"And you're not like other straight people, because I'm about to kick your teeth in."
tentoace ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 17:54:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I roomed with a bunch of gay guys over the years, and there's almost instantly a way to tell, usually flamboyancy and dress sense (those guys upped my wardrobe game). Of the around 15 that I've known over the years, only 2 didn't "seem" gay. Although I don't think I was ever enough of an ass to say that to them.
Imagine the statement as "you're not like other black people" and you start to get how offensive it can be.
tentoace ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:52:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get it, trust me. It's not something I'm defending, and I figured I'd sound like a dick, but I was just throwing what I felt in general through what I've seen.
"i'm a weirdo" usually followed by something that's not really weird. i went on a date with a woman that claimed she was a weirdo because she didn't like mayo. i told her that just made her someone that didn't like mayo but if she rubbed a dead bird on her naked body THAT would make her a weirdo.... she didnt come back from the washroom.
[deleted] ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 18:36:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I must say "this is what hitler died trying to prevent" is a funny joke, however horrible.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 21:56:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coincidentally, that's also my second favorite insult
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:09:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 23:23:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a toss up between "cunt" and "mongoloid sub human fuck faced waste of oxygen and resources. You make people with actual mental retardation look like fucking brain surgeons. If I had to choose between shooting you, and shooting pol pot, mao zedong, and Kim Jong Il, I'd shoot you 4 times. A black hole isn't as dense as that calcified turd called your brain"
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:49:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn dog. That isn't even directed at me and I need a hug. :'(
Alright, so I'm down with Linlis' joke, cause there's a level of cleverness there, that this person theoretically could be commenting in an oblivious manner, not realizing that his/her vernacular is inherently offensive while commenting on a serious topic.
But I just don't see any cleverness in this one. It can work with visual humor, accompanied with a quick cut and reaction shots or something, but seeing it just written is like throwing it out there without taking the time to think of a punchline.
Olakola ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:46:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea as a German I don't dislike those people I'm going to town on them. And that's not some friendly banter anymore. I'm gonna up my game and hit them in the face with power over 9000. Because I literally can't even. So don't judge me I'm just a bitch
Edit: where's my gold internet stranger or should I say asshole (don't judge me)
Edit 3: long live my inbox
kevinkit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:19:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The meta hurts.
somanayr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:10:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn it. Here have an upvote for your "edits"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not true from all possible angles. 1. Killed a bunch of Jews for no reason 2. Invaded Russia during winter 3. Ate dinner w a salad fork. Motherfucker, even if you're a vegetarian you eat dinner w dinner fork. He was a monster.
I really hate people who say they realise that Hitler was a bad man, "but you have to admire his leadership". Oh really, do I? I have to admire a man for lying his way to power and then murder 6 million people and eventually himself? I beg to differ.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:24:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah, reading up on Hitler's rise to power, I realized that if you strip away all the genocide, race-hating, and horrible cargo shorts and socks, Hitler was an asshole.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same fuckers who admire Frank Underwood and Walter White (and I think society encourages way too many of them).
No, you're not supposed to root for them even though.
They are bastards.
echief ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't necessarily admire him but I do find him a fascinating person. Anybody who was able to convince basically an entire country to do the horrible things that he did is at least interesting.
crit_D ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First line: That's funny. I wonder how many times I've heard someone say that...
Second line: I can't possibly upvote you enough.
I overheard my wife talking to her brother on the phone about a third family member. When he said "she needs to let go, and let god," I was suddenly very glad that he lives thousands of miles away and is unlikely to ever visit.
InFerYes ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 21:31:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm reading a job opening and it requires 20 years of experience and civil engineering degree for an entry job, I instantly hate the HR rep that wrote the vacancy.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:48:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But they absolutely need 5 years of experience for something that was invented last year!
As someone looking for a job right now, I get giddy when I see "entry level." Then want to cry when I see it requires multiple degrees, X amount of experience in not only the job itself, but various other fields, too.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:10:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like maybe you've never cleaned your ears with cotton swabs after a shower. Then you would truly understand what an eargasm is, and be okay with that term.
"Sex on a plate." That's fucking gross. It's always some fat guy and it just makes me picture them getting off from their food and what their poor tiny penis must look like because of all the fat.
Uh... I don't mind that one. Blowjobs are awesome.
micster ยท 219 points ยท Posted at 17:02:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Everything happens for a reason'
Fuck everyone who says this shit. Usually it's after something terrible has happened to. Ex; 'Your dog died? That's horrible, but remember, everything happens for a reason'. Fuck off with that shit.
lodolfo ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:28:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ex; 'Your dog died? That's horrible, but remember, everything happens for a reason'
"And that reason is cancer."
That's how I like to answer to people saying that shit.
evman182 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:23:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I came in here expecting this to be the top comment. Maybe it upsets most people less than me.
Yeah, the only reasons are physics and cause & effect. If you think there's some grand reason behind a thousand people dying in a tsunami, then you're an asshole and so's your god.
A little hypocritical, how they spout objective morality, yet to their God, the end (His Plan) justifies the means (every bad thing that has happened).
I am disappointed that this is so far down. I control+f'd it because I knew someone else must understand.
This and "I regret nothing". Oh, OK, you sound like a great person to hang out with - either you believe you're perfect, or you avoid the important lessons that come with uncomfortable feelings just to feel better about yourself. Awesome.
"Oh, your dog died? And you've just found out that you have HIV from your now ex-wife who has recently had a miscarriage and is currently in hospital for being in a tragic car crash that killed both of your parents.
"Don't worry, everything happens for a reason. This is God's plan all along. He does work in mysterious ways!"
Eh, I say variations of this sometimes (obviously not with death that'd be dumb) and I use it to try and cheer someone up in a "I know this sucks now, but, it's gonna get better and in the long run it'll be a good thing and it'll have happened for a reason" sort of thing. Silver linings and such, but I'm not an asshole about it.
And if this precipitates a long chain of events which leads to any amount of success or happiness in your life, it's seen as validation of this view. Meet your future wife in the orphanage? See, your parents' brutal, untimely death was all part of God's plan!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am going to punch you in the face. Don't worry. Everything happens for a reason.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Onetime somebody was preaching to me about God, I brought up why bad things happen to good people. I asked why my brother was so sick and dying? Her response was, "he probably did something bad in another life."
"I only have guy friends because girls are way too much drama"
Shuuuuttt uppp and stop trying so hard to fit in and be cool
SerSonett ยท 417 points ยท Posted at 15:48:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Banter!"
If you're British and use this phrase or any variants without irony - "I love a bit of cheeky banter!" "You bantosaurus-rex!" "I'm the Archbishop of Banterbury!" "Bants, mate, bants!" - I will wish you impotence and a painful, prolonged death.
Edit: you cheeky cunts
DovahSpy ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 17:15:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm the Archbishop of Banterbury!"
Are you suggesting you take this phrase seriously?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:03:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GrayCS ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 16:43:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends do this. I don't know whether they're being serious or mocking sterotypes now. I want to get off Mr Bones Wild Ride.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:04:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It starts as mocking stereotypes and then becomes second nature.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too bad, the ride never ends
JFens96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Bones Wild Ride
Is it me or do does this sound like the title for a porno?
TuskEU ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:04:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use banter in an ironic way so much that I'm not even sure it's ironic any more. I think it might be...
Aalnius ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:49:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i do that occasionally when i spend too much time around one of my best friends, we both start taking the piss out of something stupid and use it pisstakingly and then it eventually works its way into everyday usage for a while until we realise what we've done.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel this way about 90% of the things in this thread, I mean I can't even.
KA260 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently the Bahamas is like "the Hawaii of England", or so those nice tourists told me. There were tons at our hotel on a family vacation when I was a teen. I'm quite American. I was goofing around with some kids in the pool. Some young boy called me cheeky. I had never heard the phrase. But it sounded so adorable coming out of his mouth! My parents couldn't really give me a good definition. I still don't think I get it either.
It's sort of flippant but in an endearing way. However usage has expanded to cover anything amusing or slightly silly, or maybe something you shouldn't really be doing.
Just literally any of the words that are used by this type of person. I can immediately tell we shall not be remotely getting along and no it is not 'sick'
As an American, I love the term. I was hanging out with some of the worst people in existence. Every time they did something way over the line and terrible they would just say, "banter, mate!" It made everything okay.
Funny how "boys will be boys" but "that's not how a young lady should act." My grandmother was terrible for this. Younger brother covered in mud, eating chook feed? Boys will be boys and is absolutely fine. I race under sprinklers and get my feet muddy? Be a young lady and not ok
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:50:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say exactly that to my sister when she helicopters her son. He'll be running around being a little ball of chaos outside and fall. He's tough as shit, and gets mud all over himself frequently. She is so worried about him encountering anything remotely dangerous that she smothers him. I tell her, "boys will be boys sis" to get her to stop fucking worrying and let him be a fucking kid. My niece is the one who needs constant attention and reassurance. Making her feel better is fine. Smothering my nephew when he just wants to go run in the sand and play army men with sticks is too stressful.
Goonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mnlo3kp9 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:15:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If this is used to justify obviously bad behavior then i agree, but at the same time I don't believe it's useful or correct to believe that there are no inherent differences between the sexes.
While nurture seems to be more important than nature, a totally blank slate theory of mind is demonstrably false. There are obvious biological, hormonal and neurological differences between sexes that strongly influence behavior. Animals that have minimal capacity for social conditioning still have distinct behavioral differences between the sexes.
If the difference between boys and girls is wholly due to social conditioning then it should logically follow that gay and trans peoples sexuality and gender identities are also socially conditioned and could therefore be "corrected" which is obviously wrong. If you pump a man full of estrogen or a woman full of testosterone there are behavioral changes. There seems to be a huge push to treat behavioral differences between sexes as wholly learned and I think this can be just as damaging as treating behavior as wholly inherent.
empgdca ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 01:46:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, the gender of a child does, to a degree, determine their behaviour. Although I agree that if some boy is beating on other kids it's not just because he's a boy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unsure why you are being downvoted for stating well known fact.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 22:43:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's an excuse to do things you know you shouldn't be doing. A lame excuse, but a clear warning that they can't be trusted.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually hate it more when it comes from someone in the office trying to be funny. Most notably a trainer or HR person that is leading a meeting. "What happens in training room 2c stays in training room 2c!"
Zemogray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the context. Each year some friends and I go to a band sleepover (I'm in high school) and we have something Called "porch talk" and we always get really deep and talk about stuff we wouldn't share with others. It really brings it back together but it's meant for no one else but the people at the sleep over. No one else in school or family should discuss what we talked about ever.
qi1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What happens in AskReddit, stays in AskReddit bro.
Agile is a method of project management commonly used by developers. "Being agile" just means the team is using that method. Similar to "we are a Java shop", "we are agile".
I was part-way through a demanding sprint and a senior manager asked me to do something that would take ages, which I politely declined. He told me that I needed to be more Agile because "we are an Agile company." It don't mean what he think it means.
Wait, agile doesn't mean "You need to do whatever the hell I come up with on the spur of the moment?" Hmmm... not sure if I like this agile thing... --Pointy Haired Boss
Or anyone that observes "but we're supposed to be agile" due to your refusal to immediately and unconditionally drop everything you're doing to do whatever they want.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We must be swift as a coursing river?
ibbolia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With all the force of a great typhoon.
Schlick7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:59:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couldnt convince a GF this was incorrect. She said that because seen was past tense that she has to say, she seen it. I explained the wors saw and why it exists. She said im thinking of the wrong word. Shes my ex.
I could'nt of thought of a better way to russell everyones jimmis.
Figgler ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 15:53:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a quote from Pineapple Express.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:36:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's much more popular to say now because of the movie. I know tons of people who say it who normally wouldn't because of the movie, myself included
As someone who grew up in a small town long before PE came out I can attest that there are people who say seent, cousint probably annoyed me more though.
I say that jokingly in reference to Pineapple Express.
Myrdok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this on purpose.....at least once a day usually. It's a quote from Pineapple Express. I do, however, reserve my use of this joke/quote/goofiness to times when the people I'm saying it to actually have seen Pineapple Express and know that this is a joke.
In my 9th grade history class me teacher would ask you for your "words of wisdom" on your birthday, which would just be a meaningful quote from you. It could be anything from "Eat your vegetables" to lyrics from a Nickelback song. Near the end of the year the teacher would write your name on the calendar to say your words if your birthday was during summer vacation. My favorite words were: "I seen it on the board yesterday, but I forgot can I do it tomorrow?" Fucking Dustin.
Renown84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend from Saskatchewan who constantly says this. I've tried explaining the difference between seen and saw many times to no avail. Now I just correct her whenever she says it to piss her off.
pemibo83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Nigger isn't a racial slur, it just means ignorant."
What. The fuck.
throwmes ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:40:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear that a lot where I am from. Usually it is more along the lines of "Not every black person is a nigger."
Do you understand how ignorant and racist you sound? You basically just switched out "rectangle" for "black person" and "square" for "nigger" and stole that out of a second grade classroom. Also, quit being so racist!
I get why this would be offensive, but how else would you call that subculture/stereotype?
If we swich the races around: not every white person is a white-trash/chav. But this does does not change the fact that WT/chavs DO exist as a very specific subculture, with its own specific set of behaviors, morals, ideas and social conduct.
Essentially, how would you call (for lack of better description) a social group of "black-trash" people who strongly and on purpose, fullfill the n***er stereotype? Even if we invent another word to describe that social phenomenon, it will just become another offensive term...
The same goes for any other group that suffers from offensive stereotyping, yet some of the group's members (often a large percentage) fulfill the stereotype perfectly, and actually match the offensive description.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's not really... the same thing. Words have power. For example, you can call your girlfriend "sweetheart," because you have that kind of relationship with her, but I can't call her that, because she's not my girlfriend and we aren't in a situation where I can talk to her like that.
Okay. You go up to the next black guy you see, call him the n-word, then tell him words only have the power you give them. Let me know how he takes it.
I can be aware that words only have the power people give them while at the same time being aware that people get stupidly offended by 6 letter words and knowing what the likely consequences of that situation would be.
Just because that person doesn't understand that he's the one giving power to the word he hates doesn't change that its the truth.
Why not? The free blacks at the time were referred to by the same name anyway's so it's not like it was slave specific it's just a word from that time period that literally comes from the french and spanish words for black.
People who want to point out how racist they're not. "I don't hate ALL black people, just the bad ones! The ones who act white and have office jobs are good black people. The rest, well, you know."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:29:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
gymger ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 21:38:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Boys will be boys."
No. Teach your kids to not be fucking thoughtless barbarians.
Fuck you Mrs. P for telling me "boys will be boys" when I asked you to say something to the boys throwing tennis balls at my head during class.
VAPossum ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:40:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is just seriously wrong. :/
gymger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it went like this:
I was bullied quite a bit back then, and the teachers were no help; hell, the guidance counselor suggested that since my grades were so good, that I leave the 8th grade early.Anyways, at my middle school, we had tennis balls with slits cut in them on the ends of all the chair legs, to prevent damage to the floors. Those things were old and dirty and just generally nasty. One day 4 of the bullies, all boys, decided to take all of the tennis balls off of the chairs and toss them around during free time. This escelated to them literally pelting me with these dirty tennis balls, in front of everyone. I tried asking them to stop, telling them to stop, and putting my head down, till finally I looked up to the teacher (who was distracted at her desk) and started crying and said "Mrs P. can you please make them stop??" To which she laughed and said "Oh no, boys will be boys!"
Obviously not the worst thing anyone has been through, but its left me pretty salty none the less.
axearm ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:10:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
YOU GODDAMN LIAR!
TasbirM ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:17:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Also when "just my opinion" or "oh sorry I have an opinion pffft" after they've said something (usually something arrogant) as if it's a fact and disregard any other arguments as "just your opinion man"
Well 2+2 = 5, hey just my opinion lol. If you say 4, it's like just your opinion.
77795 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:59:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well when people get irritated or really pissed for you expressing your valid opinion, it is perfectly okay to say, "I'm sorry you feel that way about the way that I think, because I see by your reaction that there is no way I'll ever get across to you." When you're arguing with somebody who is completely biased/irrational, I totally understand using both of the phrases you hate...
77795 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:51:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I genuinely feel sorry for somebody who was brainwashed into faulted logic so hard that nothing can be said or done to change their mind. Be careful of your usage of the word "always"...
I use it professionally when someone gets aggressive and I'm not changing my position on something. I've found it helps me get the fuck out of a conversation I don't want to be in anymore and still get what I need out of it. I'm open to replacement ideas though.
It's never, ever said by anybody who really is sorry. It's words of contempt or words from an extremely shallow, clueless, out of touch person. It's plain dishonest.
I'm sorry you feel that way about the phrase since I feel like it can be used to express empathy as a third party uninvolved in a situation in which they disagree with someone.
Sometimes when people say things, they don't literally mean exactly what the words say. In this instance, when you say "well, that's your opinion", there is an implied "and it doesn't mean jack shit to me, so fuck off"
I've used both of those, but normally its right after some relative has made some sort of really racist/uninformed/religious comment that is just really shitty, but I know I can't change their mind and it would cause a huge argument to do so, so I use one of these to just move the conversation a long. It expresses that I disagree with them but that I'm not going to get into it with them.
But "I'm sorry you feel that way" is never true and is always an obviously underhanded way to express contempt for the other person, as is "that's your opinion."
Actually, for some things I really am sorry they feel the way they do. Because many times I feel they could be so much happier if they felt differently. Even if I am expressing contempt, its still a lot nicer than saying some of the other things that normally come to mind.
what if the remark was NOT offensive, and the one who feels offended is just an overly sensitive asshat?
Honestly, while I don't use the phrase personally, most times Ive heard somoene said:"I'm sorry if you're offended", it was the "offended" person who was the idiot, not the offendee.
JFens96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry you feel that way, in my experience, is someone's way of just diffusing or brushing off an argument they don't want to deal with. I basically use it as "fuck off and stop trying to argue with me I'm not taking your bait."
alazaay ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:05:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But sometimes that's all I can say, short of "shut your god damned mouth you fucking lippy waste of air."
I say this mostly when people come to my cash register and just complain about something I have no power over. Sometimes they don't even ask for anything, but just to let me know something at the pool sucks.
"Whoever set your open times (5am) in the mornings should be fired."
"I shouldn't have to pay for the full price of a monthly membership if I only come once a week."
But occasionally, "My iPhone does everything and more than xyz".
That is definitely an opinion.
The only people who say "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "that's your opinion are dumb or are immature lowlife weasels who think, "shut your God damned mouth you fucking lippy waste of air."
alazaay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 169 points ยท Posted at 17:02:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This enrages me. I'm considered tall for a woman - I've dated men my height and shorter. When someone who is 5'4" tells me 5'10" is "too short for them" I want to push them in to traffic.
The whole stigma about the man being taller than a female SO irks me. But I'll save that for a more relevant thread.
I'm 5'6", 5'7" or so and used to feel uncomfortable around taller girls until I ended up dating a girl who was 5'10" and frequently wore heels. After you acclimate and realize that societal stigmas are bullshit, you realize how little it matters and that tall girls are kind of awesome. (It's also great when you can't comfortably reach something on a shelf and she can hand it to you.)
See, I would probably prefer girls who are taller than me, unfortunately I'm 6ft 3.5" so I don't find many people taller than me. Never met a girl taller than me though.
I was always self conscious about being taller than my husband (im almost 6ft.) Then I suffered a spinal cord injury and am a 24/7 wheelchair user, now. Wellp, solved that problem. No longer self conscious.
I'm 5'9" and I've always had trouble finding guys who are taller than me. I just wanted to wear heels. My fiance was in a car accident eight years ago and suffered a spinal chord injury and now he uses a wheel chair as well. So, I can wear whatever shoes I want to because he'll stay shorter than me until he walks again.
joavim ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:03:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So his comment didn't need to be said, and in the spirit of trying to be funny, he came out looking all asshole-ish. That doesn't mean he's wrong though. Keep your chin up about a cure. But when your neck gets tired of holding it up while you wait, feel free to relax and be realistic with the rest of us SCI sufferers.
My husband has the same attitude as you. A cure is coming. Yup, so is Jesus, apparently... I think it's easier to remember that science is a LONG way from coming up with a safe, viable, reliable, and cost effective cure right now. It's better to accept the reality (he'll never walk again) than to hope for a miracle.
Now that I've been a Debbie-Downer, I'm off to shatter others' dreams!
It infuriates me. I know it's going to take a while. There's like six or seven different cures that have been started. A handful of fully paralyzed people regained movement after trying out this electrode method. I don't recall the details of it, though. There's implants of various sorts that have allowed paralyzed mice to walk again. It's not like scientists are just leaving para/quadriplegics to be in a wheelchair forever. It's very much a real possibility that paralyzed people will walk again.
This is probably going to sound stupid but I think I need to make peace with the fact that he may never walk again. It's stupid that it affects me this much but I love him with my entire heart and I wish so badly that he could hug me from behind by surprise while I'm doing dishes or that he could pick me up and spin me around. It's just little things that I miss like hell that I wish I could have.
How do y'all sneak in small bits of intimacy? Like other couples hold hands in stores and things like that. What do you guys do?
There are most certainly strides in finding a cure, so to speak. But the spinal cord is such a complicated part of the body, it's not as easy as simply plug and play. I am quite familiar with epidural electrodes, and the implications are incredible. However, these guys aren't getting up to dance. They get a toe wiggle, or if they do stand, it's with pretty significant effort. If it's a lot of effort to stand and walk with, still, an obvious impairment, that's not a cure in my book. Lots of cool shit happening (believe me, all I want is to give my husband a body-to-body, full contact hug, so I keep abreast of the goings on.) It's just so, so far from being a cure, I haven't let myself get excited. Not to mention, all are still a trials. The FDA is MILES away from even recognizing those kinds of therapeutic efforts. Like I said, we are a ridiculously long way from something safe, viable, reliable, and cost effective. Unless your fiancee and I win a scientific trial lottery (i.e. get chosen for a test that works.) We won't see the benefits for a long time.
It's not stupid for the need to make peace. It is NOT stupid that it affects you. That's the bullshit part of SCIs. It's not just the injured that suffer. And I don't mean for you to stop hoping for a cure. It's just, from personal experience, the "making peace" part is a lot easier if you stop thinking about the what-ifs and the maybes. Stay in the here and now. I want nothing more to stand up, put pants on, know when I have to pee, etc. But I can't move on with my life if I sit here and think about what could maybe happen someday.
I am pretty adept at handling my wheelchair one-handed (as long as terrain cooperate.) I'll hold his hand, and wheel with the other. I use his hand as a stabilizer, and he knows it, so he keeps it stiff (haha, pun not intended) so I can still move about. He'll stand near my chair and I'll grab onto his waist, rest my head on his tummy. He'll stand behind me and massage my neck. Sometimes, I'll just grab his shirt collar and yank his face to mine. Playful, but you gotta take what you can get. It's certainly not the same, and I mourn for my operational lower half. But nothing is going to change anytime soon, so I may as well make do.
I'm sorry you are going through this. Never feel guilty for being mad, upset, sad, angry, etc. about all of it. Being a big part of his life, you are entitled to have those feelings (people who aren't with someone disabled are allowed that too, so why not you?) Don't feel bad that you want things he can't give you. I guarantee he wants those too. It's just the nature of the shitty hand life gave us.
I'm a 6'3" guy. I think dating a girl that was taller than me (without heels) would be...awkward. Although I'd have no problem with a tall (5'10"-6'3") girl. That's actually a plus in my eyes. Personal preference, perhaps.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:03:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a 5'9" woman, I envy taller women that are perfectly fine with dating shorter men. I don't give a crap about social stigma, I can't date men shorter than me or, if they're close to my height, super skinny, because I'm incredibly insecure about my own height and weight.
I've dated a couple of guys who were an inch or so taller or shorter than me, but they each weighed 130-145 and it made me feel ginormous in comparison when I was only anywhere from 10-20 lbs heavier than them at the time. I don't like feeling like I could squish or break the guy I'm dating :(
ikorolou ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:31:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a dude whose around 6' and kinda heavy, heyyyyy
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:37:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heyyyyy
ikorolou ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:49:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was mostly just being silly, but actually tho what's up? What type of music you listen to?
squipped ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ah i totally feel you! i'm 5-10 and weigh maybe 160? and i just want to feel small in someone's arms so they have to weigh more than me and yeah preferably at least 5-10.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if he was an mma fighter? He'd probably squish you. Or what if he lifted? Would that have made it palatable to you?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually did date an mma fighter who was about an inch taller than me, and I was comfortable with his height/weight because he was bigger, usually between 175-190.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The question was actually in the context of the person you dated who was 130-145 lb and an inch shorter than you. If this person was an mma fighter (i.e. can fuck you up), would he be datable to you? It basically solves the problem of "height". Cause you seem like you really just want to know if your man can dominate you in a fight.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ooohhh I misunderstood lol. In that case, it wouldn't matter. The guy that was about an inch taller and 135 did do ammy mma, but he couldn't put on any weight. So he was a pretty lean guy, not weak or anything, but it still made me uncomfortable/insecure.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:14:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so you only care that he looks like he can fuck you up. =/ Okay.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol no, he can be a little chubby, that's nbd. If he's a little chunky, I don't feel like I'm going to break him and he's more fun to cuddle. Win-win!
I think the cultural notion that men should be taller than the women is stupid, but at the same time, I don't think it really makes sense to get mad at somebody for their preferences.
joavim ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:00:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not? It's their right to have a preference, but it's also my right to find their preference stupid and infuriating.
Well as a kid who has height issues. A 2 meter brother doesnt help and a lot of girls taller dont help either. Its more damaging to me than most people feel. Like im somehow not a man or just outright a kid
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
As a dude who is 5'6", I can kind of understand where they are coming from though. I'm usually attracted to petite women of some kind of color (they could be white with a tan, hispanic, black, whatever) with nice asses. That's not to say I'm not attracted to taller women; I just less frequently am like "holy shit, look at her," towards a woman that's over 5'8".
What bothers me is when women seem to hold out for that guy who is 6'4" (not any taller or any shorter), a professional athlete with a PhD and who also volunteers for doctors without borders during the off season (because of he needs to have an MD too). Guys seem a little less likely to hold out for that "perfect" girl in my opinion (although maybe I'm wrong). I chalk that up to men being more likely to want to fuck something instead of nothing.
Regardless, I don't let this shit bug me too much because they're SO many women who don't want to sleep with me simply based off of me being 5'6". Why should I waste time getting pissy over someone who's so shallow as to not want to hook up with/date me because I'm too short for them? They don't take anything else about me into account; fuck wasting any time on them over something so petty.
I'm 5'7" and the only girls who have ever been interested in me have been my height or taller. Girls who are 3+ inches shorter than me say I'm too short for them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love tall women, I don't know why any one would dislike it.
Everyone has a preference for what they're attracted to... there's really nothing wrong with it.
I generally like shorter girls. I don't know why, I just do. Now I don't turn down taller girls just because they're tall, but I am generally less attracted to them. The same can apply in the opposite direction.
Maybe their just not physically attracted to taller women and it has nothing to do with stigmas. I have a 5'7" friend who simply doesn't find taller girls attractive. Just like some girl like/dislike beards, body hair, other physical features.
I don't think it's fair to be enraged. Like... People like what they like, and it's allowed. Who actually cares? I'm attracted to short/petite girls only, and that's fine. Just like it's fine to be attracted to tall girls only, tall men only, short men only, redheads only, etc. I don't think it's anyone's business what anyone else is attracted to.
Aalnius ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tbf i don't like to date women that are taller or about as tall as me because i prefer short girls and it isn't really anything to do with a specific height.
I am 6ft 3" though so not too many women taller then me where i live anyway
You might as well. If she's asking you're height and you're not tall enough for her she's going to pass on you. You might as well try to get her to see what's wrong with her thinking.
I just got flashbacks of online dating. I'm not that great with carrying small talk over an email chain, especially when I have ask all the fucking questions all the fucking time, to the point where I began asking the most bizarre questions from left field just to get a reaction from a human fucking being outside of: "ok u?"
Is there some secret that people have for this shit that I don't know? Because all I get from online dating is the crushing sense of utter worthlessness at every message that has three words or less.
Trust me man, you're way better off in real life. It takes a little bit to get used to approaching girls, and it feels safer for your ego to do it online, but the success rate is SO much higher in real life.
They're judging you based on what's in front of them, no bullshit. With online dating they can just put a certain age range, a certain minimum height, endless qualifications and exclude almost everybody. IRL if you're cool you've got a shot even if you don't meet some ridiculous laundry list of criteria.
I rwally don't know anymore lol, its gotten to a point where my coworker who uses the same site as me has to sift through 20 messages a day, i have to send 20 out to get a response lol.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:30:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If any girl asks for my height, I almost always ask them for their weight. Sometimes it works out well, and the girl tells me her weight, I tell her my height and we are both cool with the answer and we have a good time knowing that the other person has physical preferences and that's fine.
But sometimes they blow up at me, and that's when it goes from "Fine" to "Hilarious"
I understand it can be an ice breaker too, its just weird to be expected to answer the question and have most women determine date-ability off it. Its not a big deal to me but i have a buddy whos 5'3 and he hates it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:03:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fruit17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If anything it's more fair to ask about weight. Your hight cannot be changed, it is pretty well determined at birth. Your weight, in most cases, is a reflection of your lifestyle, diet and self control.
w00kiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll give another example from a female point of view. I was on POF years/ages ago. Dude said on his profile that he was 6ft 2.. that's nice. I'm ok, whatever.
In person he is no taller than 5ft 9. If he had been honest, I wouldn't have made a big deal. But because of that I did ask a few other guys if they were truly (insert height here). If you'll lie about a small thing that doesn't really matter what else are you going to lie over?
I completely understand that, its sadly one of the risks of online dating. Thanks for the other side of it though :)
axearm ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:13:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone over 6ft I just passed on those profiles. I get it that women prefer men taller than them, but it the genetic lottery that made me this way and it's sad that this is going to be your limiting factor. (A pass if you too are 5'11" or 6')
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 18:45:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do some guys get mad at this because they can't change their height, but then say "oh I'd never date a black girl, I don't find them attractive."? It's all preferences. All preferences are okay. Don't be a hypocrite.
Thank you for saying this. I get annoyed when people complain about women having preferences about the physical makeup of a potential SO. Everyone has preferences. Me wanting to date a guy who is taller than me is the same thing as a guy wanting to date someone who they find attractive. People are allowed to be a little picky and physical attractiveness DOES matter to an extent. If a guy is significantly shorter than me (5'10"), I am just not as physically attracted to him. I would say sorry, but I'm not, because there is nothing wrong with it.
asblue91 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:54:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you BUT...
There is a difference between a 5'7" - 5'10" girl wanting a guy at least her height versus a 5'3" girl who says she'll only go for 6'1" or taller. I fall into the former category and am totally fine with a guy under 6ft as long as he isn't shorter than me. But some of my short female friends will literally not touch a guy who is not "tall" and it drives me insane.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:19:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually there isn't.
Someone has preferences, however ridiculous you may find them is not a bad thing.
Hell i'm only 5 10 but i'd love to date a girl who was 6'10. It doesn't personally matter that much to me, but certain things do and are deal breakers. I have a thing for very tall women.
Another thing to consider is some women factor in high heels. They only ever want their guy to be noticeably taller then them in all circumstances, to be able to look up, or have to look up and have him bend down to kiss her. 6'1 to a 5'4 girl may seem insane, but if she wears 5' inch heels one day and he's 5'11 she may hate the idea of her being at eye level now with him.
Ehh, as a 6'4 dude, being eye level with a chick(or anyone really) is FUCKING FANTASTIC. Instant best friend in my book.
asblue91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Another thing to consider is some women factor in high heels. They only ever want their guy to be noticeably taller then them in all circumstances, to be able to look up, or have to look up and have him bend down to kiss her.
Ruling out a human being because of high heels? I stand by my statement. That's fucking stupid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone has preferences, however ridiculous you may find them is not a bad thing
I love how you skipped the most important part, pulled a strawman and tried to invalidate the argument when I was giving an example of some people's reasoning.
For sake of argument even though it's not the point. Let's say we both agree it's okay for a girl to want a guy taller. Therefore when she wears high heels and he is only an inch taller she now towers over him.
Do you not see how someone might not like that when they want there boyfriend to be taller? That honestly sounds ridiculous to you?
There's nothing wrong with having your preferences. I think its an issue when you would immediately dismiss a guy or pay him no mind whatsoever just because he's shorter than you
I said that thing about black women once but ive became friends with some and i was actually attracted to them both physically and mentally. Thats just one factor in physical attraction, it shouldn't be a deal breaker at least thats how i see it
I get what you're saying, but everyone has their dealbreakers. Some men won't date heavier women, some women won't date shorter guys. I agree that it can be superficial and that it is wrong to write a guy off completely just for that, but tons of guys have the same level of superficiality when it comes to dating (in my experience). I'm not trying to justify writing people off for something like their height, but it's just how things are unfortunately. If someone isn't interested, telling them that they are being superficial isn't going to change how they feel or their preferences.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:27:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think OP is referring to the same type of people.
The type of people that I dislike, and I'm assuming OP is the same way, are the girls that say "I won't date anyone under 6ft" and then bitch when a guy won't go out with her overweight friend "just because she's overweight." Girls who do this are EVERYWHERE.
That's where the whole "guys can't change their height" argument comes in...because in most cases, that girl's friend COULD change her weight...but for some reason, his having weight preferences is insensitive but her height preferences are justified
other than that, I don't think most people care if you say you prefer a certain height, we all have our preferences.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
empgdca ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:44:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People have sexual preferences, and it's not because they're racist, it's because they have a natural attraction to whatever they're attracted to. People are attracted to different things in a partner, and race is one of those things. I think Asian women are often very attractive, but not because of that "harmful stereotype" you mentioned, which coincidentally, I've never even heard of. Come to think of it, I've never heard any stereotypes about Asian women. Same with black women. And yet, I find myself being more attracted to Asian women than I am to black women, and in turn, more attracted to white women than I am to Asian women. I am a white guy. I find white women generally more attractive than other races. Not because of racial stereotypes, but because I am a normal person who happens to also have a sexual preference toward white women. Stop trying to make it out that it's racist to have racial preferences. It's not.
The only reason people have racial preferences in dating is because of subconscious (or sometimes conscious) racial stereotypes
No, this is your own bias speaking. Sure, it might happen, but it's bullshit to assume that that's the motive behind someone's preferences. It's no different from preferring one pizza topping to another. Nobody should be made to feel guilty for their aesthetic preferences.
The only reason people have racial preferences in dating is because of subconscious (or sometimes conscious) racial stereotypes.
The question of whether this is true or not aside, honestly...so what? Literally the only solution here would be for someone to date a race they are not attracted to (or if not race, then another kinda preference like weight, height, hair/eye color, ethnic background etc) to consciously get away from their biases. But that's damaging to both parties!!! Dating someone you are not attracted to hurts you in that, well, you aren't attracted to the other person and you're forcing yourself to do something that you should derive pleasure from naturally, and the other person too because they are falsely lead to believe that you ARE in fact, attracted to them, while you are only using them as an accessory to prove to yourself you can go against your biases. It's objectification too. You can say you should give dating people you are not attracted to a try, because you can learn to love them etc, but it's still using the other person. Would you want somebody to date you when they do not feel an attraction to you? Would you want to be someone's little project in forced sexual preference change? And of course, what if it ends up that one person just does not become attracted after all? That's a waste of time and energy for both parties getting into a relationship doomed from the start.
Another point, I'd say, is that your sexual preference goes beyond the tolerance you should show to everyone - nobody has an inherent right to even "get a chance" with you. A gay man has a right to date other men, which is absolutely fine, and also a right to refuse to date women - and that's great too! In this instance, yeah, you could say he is "discriminating" women, because he is not attracted to them, but it's cool because dating goes far, far beyond normal common courtesy we'd expect him to show a woman. But you could tell a gay guy, "oh but women are great! sleep with or date one, your life will change, your preferences are just wrong right now because you're sexist, but try it and you'll love it!" ...but you see how stupid that sounds. And I think it sounds equally bad to say (for example) "oh but ____ women are great! sleep with or date one, your life will change, your preferences are just wrong right now because you're racist, but try it and you'll love it". "Nice guys" get a lot of bad rep because they're trying to elicit sex out of unwanting people based on pity like "i'm such a good friend to you!", it's just as bad to try elicit sex out of unwanting people because "you don't wanna be racist now do you?"
Obviously making a big deal in conversation etc. out of own's preference, even rejecting other people and stating it's directly because of their race, is just rude and in bad taste, but if someone keeps these preferences to themselves, what's wrong with it?
empgdca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but the reason people hate this is because of the double standard that some girls have whereby they can be any weight they want and they're beautiful and anyone who disagrees is just being a shallow asshole, whereas they are allowed not to find someone attractive due to their height. If someone didn't want to date short guys, most guys would be ok with it as long as they didn't hold the previously mentioned double standard.
Yeah, I dated a girl like that in college. She was all of 5' 3'' and was adamant about never going out with someone under 6'. Jokes on her though, I'm 5' 11 3/4''.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Haha it's not so bad. You're still taller than most men (unless you live in the Netherlands), and everyone assumes your over 6' anyway. People are really bad at estimating height. Unless you're trying to get to the NBA, your height is fine.
Kallehoe ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:45:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet it shows, about a inch difference.
Crazc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
;_;
imperabo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you kidding? 6' is almost 3% taller than 5'10". That's basically a whole extra person.
Bro, we're 6'. Stop it. 6'. Only once someone has broken through our wall and gotten to really know who we are, how we are, and really cares about us for who we are - only then can they ever know that we are 5'11 3/4". Never before.
Think about it - they'll never really know. You're surely almost always wearing shoes when you're out and about, unless you're at the beach or something. And if you're at the beach, well, sand is easy enough to move around in so you can't get an accurate reading on your height.
6'.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:14:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well good dating spiders are hard to come by.
jinxjar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it, what's so bad about this? If someone is under 6 ft, you can't control it, I understand, but if someone doesn't want to date you because of that, it's personal preference. I know this is a shitty example, but it's like not wanting to date someone with a fucked up nose, sure in lots of cases they can't control it, but that doesn't mean you have to look past it and date him anyways. If you don't like his nose, fine.
I think that the reason why most people find it annoying is because if a man said something like "I won't date any one over __ lbs" it would be seen as "sexist" and just rude whereas it's acceptable for women to do it to a man for their height- even though he can't control what his height is.
I don't think there is anything wrong with it, everyone is allowed to have their preferences, nobody "owes" anybody a date, or a chance.
The issue is that there is usually a double standard - girl sees no problem asking me my height to see if I quality, but if I ask her weight, or her cup size, I'm an asshole.
jlstitt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the problem here is that the vast majority of women (seemingly) want taller than average guys. It's a bit like everyone thinking they're smarter than average.
As a very short (5'1 ish) lady, I will never understand why that's such an important determining factor for some people. That exact number, too. No matter what the girls height is. I'll take someone who can't step on me, please.
And then a guy will say "I won't date anyone without a big butt or big boobs." It's hell on earth...
Not that I condone either of the two, just another double standard.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:34:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
imageWS ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend is an exception; she has a great personality (bar the homophoby), and has supermodel body, and is 6 ft tall. She also refuses to date anyone who is even a cm under 6 ft.
Riddles_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:21:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 6'2 and I like being able to talk face to face with my partner. Crouching slightly or looking down is weird and generally uncomfortable. So yes, I typically don't date people under 6ft.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:44:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, as a 5'7" manlet, people are entitled to their preferences.
alazaay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't date anyone under 6ft."
Said the girl weighing 250 lbs.
For the record, I think a lot of short girls say this because they want taller offspring. Many people feel that their height (or lack thereof) is a hindrance in life.
I'm not advocating. Just adding to the discussion.
I'm just kidding dude. Do your thing and you'll find the right person for you. Fuck those people, anyone who says that to you is not someone you want to be with anyway. It's not wrong for someone to know what they want in a partner, if height is their thing then that's their thing, but they don't need to be so bitchy about it.
It's that I won't date anyone under 6ft, it's that it's gonna be a (probably deciding) factor in my choosing whether or not I have kids with you. I'm ridiculously short, my whole family is short, it sucks. I want my kids to be eligible to be astronauts.
Warpato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No fat chicks.
gereffi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:31:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, only men are allowed to be shallow.
erilol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:03:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't date a flat-chested bitch."
"Tall chicks are gross. I don't wanna feel like I'm dating a dude."
Ktulu300 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:11:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with this one?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:16:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All the guys on reddit that cry constantly about the small minority of women on Tinder who demand a man over 6' seem to be forgetting that they're using Tinder in the first place. You shouldn't expect high quality women from an iphone dating app that's mostly used for people to hook up.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree that picking an arbitrary height as a steadfast requirement is stupid. However, I find tallness really very very attractive in a guy. Like some girls swoon over stubble or blue eyes. I like tall and lanky. And because I'm 5'10", tall means at least 5'11". But my preference has nothing to do with gender norms or image. If I loved a guy that was shorter than me, I would date him, obviously. It's just a big component of attraction for me because that's how I'm wired.
Why does having certain standards or traits you find attractive make a person bad? You don't have to be on every woman's radar. It doesn't bother me any.
NDaveT ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 19:20:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll accept this one, provided the speaker is Spanish and it's the 8th Century.
yuhutuh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or a Wallachian soldier in the 15th century.
i_ANAL ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:59:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair large chunks of the Middle East were secular in the middle ages; it was the warring Christian Europeans that brought the Crusaders to massacre Muslims.
So... it really has a lot to do with the scandal, no?
Rmanager ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. It has some to do with it which is why I said "almost nothing." The break in to bug the Democratic office was the event that started a chain.
It is highly unlikely Nixon had any knowledge of what the inner circle of CREP was up to. All he had to do was let them face charges. That was pretty much it. If Nixon would have publically denounced them as "rogues" and overzealous in trying to get him re-elected, we would be talking about what a great president he was and the Watergate break-in as just a footnote to his presidency.
But he didn't. He was paranoid the connection would hurt his campaign and how questionable some of their activities really were. Much of what they did is common practice today but back then, people actually gave a shit about the integrity of the President. So he ordered the FBI to shut down their investigation. That started a chain of events that uncovered how much Nixon used the power of the office to do shit for his own bidding.
That is "The Watergate Scandal." The break-in is just a side bar and catchy name.
I overhead a conversation the other day about how "It's the beginning of the Christian holocaust." It made my blood boil.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 21:05:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They want it to be. One of the 'signs' of Christ's return and the rapture is people oppressing Christians. They see it as a good thing that they're oppressed, so they can't wait to call it out. As a former Churchgoer, this was the obsession among my fellow Christians. They couldn't wait to call out The End Times Signs. They said it almost gleefully.
A lot of Christians get off on being persecuted. It just reinforces their 'I'm Right' feeling.
I know this because I used to be like that until I grew a brain.
Maybe the people you hung out with thought this way, but no rational christian is hoping for the end of times. This is a poor representation of Christianity and the "I'm Right" feeling you speak of is basic human nature. Don't you think you are "right" spouting this ignorance?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:13:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not even the people I hung around with. It's on the mind of all the preachers on tv that talk about the end times. In their voices. True christians don't want it to happen. But the psychopathic types who use religion as an ego boost, as a means of propagating cruelty or social standing, they just can't wait to see all the people they despise burning forever.
Again, no rational christian is hoping for the end of times; I dont think you have refuted my point in anyway. The preachers you see on tv advocating for the end of the times are clearly misguided. Read some books and stay away from preachers on tv if you want to make blanket statements about Christianity.
Taddare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but no rational christian is hoping for the end of times.
Good thing there is a veritable mountain of irrational christians in America hoping. Much like this special guy:
Some Fundamentalist Christians believe that the Second Coming of Jesus Christ cannot occur until the Third Temple is constructed in Jerusalem, which requires the appearance of a red heifer born in Israel. Clyde Lott, a cattle breeder in O'Neill, Nebraska, United States, is attempting to systematically breed red heifers and export them to Israel to establish a breeding line of red heifers in Israel in the hope that this will bring about the construction of the Third Temple and ultimately the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. Wiki
Mormons love claiming to be 'persecuted.' I was raised Mormon and was taught that people who hated the Mormon church did so because "they secretly know the LDS church is true and don't want to admit it." WTF.
[deleted] ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 16:59:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
And somehow the same-sex marriage issue is the beginning of it in america.
YaMeenz ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:44:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw someone on twitter saying that same-sex marriage being legalized meant "Liberals are taking away are religious freedoms!"
So now I don't use Twitter.
Not even kidding, a very popular "pastor" on Facebook said that gay marriage becoming legal is the beginning of the Christian holocaust. Makes my blood boil.
JoJolion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That stupid shit, Josh Fuckstain? He's such a fucking joke. The fact he's as popular as he is really depresses me every single time I think about it.
When the legalization of gay marriage happened, John Piper called it a calamity. I'm not sure if it was him but another Christian pastor said he weeps in great sorrow for the nation. I heard some Christians talking about how it's the beginning of the great oppression of Christians...
Me too, buddy. I heard about a month ago while fishing with a coworker "you know who the two most discriminated against groups in this country are? Christians and white males."
A lot quieter, mind you, since /u/LouIcthys deleted his account, but Reddit honestly has every imaginable contingent, and they browse the front page just like anyone else.
Viatos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yes.
EDIT: Sometimes they just want to talk about happy, positive things in their lives. Sometimes it's about the tragic downfall of the conversion therapy market. Once, it was about how /r/Christianity had become a sewer of toxic faith when a user was banned for telling a suicidal gay teen that they had no cause to ask for Christian support and needed "a slap upside the head" more than anything.
All my parents and grandparents spend countless hours blabbering about is the end times and the "war on Christianity". Or "getting prayer back in schools"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then don't keep them locked up in your basement
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sister had a post on her Facebook of some fat "cool" preacher doing a selfie'd video of him ranting in his car about how the marriage equality bill was the start of the Christian Holocaust. I was the only one to comment on it:
The context on what they where speaking of is important. There have been many instances of mass killings of christians throughout history. If they mean whats happening in the states right now, they are silly
That was the context. Silly is a really nice word for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious considering the Roman-Jewish war was one of the bloodiest events ever. Tons of Christians were murdered for nothing. I'm not sure people even understand how good they have it now.
Members of majority identities tend to adopt a victim's mentality once they acknowledge that their race, culture, religion, etc. is losing a historic vice-grip over control and standardization of society. Gay folks are also married = my straight marriage is under attack. All holidays can be acknowledged in public settings = you're stealing Christmas. These people, ironically, often have the least sympathy for folks that are actually oppressed and victimized by societal challenges. "I don't care that they've grown up below the poverty line in a crime-ridden hell hole and still managed to receive great grades with hopes of changing themselves and their community; affirmative action is reverse-racism."
MikoRiko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, really makes ya wanna go out and shoot some Christs.
Why? There is essentially a holocaust on christians/gays/and other non-muslim groups in the middle east.
lynnyfer ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 16:23:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But stores can't even say Merry Christmas anymore!"
Manadox ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 21:27:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because it's the middle of August grandma.
lynnyfer ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:57:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True story, used to work at a craft store, and we'd get Christmas stuff in mid-August. Some woman came through my aisle the first week that shit was in stock and bought a carts worth of tacky Christmas decor. As she left, I said "have a good weekend!" She turned around to me and went, with all the disgust she could muster, "I think you mean MERRY CHRISTMAS, sweetheart".
I kinda thought she was going to be one of those people who bitch and moan about stores selling Christmas stuff early. Because it somehow impacts their life that people are allowed to prepare for Christmas early and that stores want to sell that crap for as long as possible instead of only having it out during December.
And it's almost always over some mundane reason like someone saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" (because god forbid we recognize the person we're speaking to may not celebrate the same things we do) or people typing Xmas instead of Christmas.
It's not a matter of religion or of "taking the Christ out of Christmas": say Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Saturnalia/Festivus/Dies Natalis Solis Invicti/Whatever, I'm really not bothered, but "Xmas" looks really really tacky to me.
AdzyBoy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:24:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Abbreviations aren't meant to be pretty, just short.
True, but most of the time, the word "Christmas" doesn't need to be abbreviated. Putting "Xmas" on a small sign for a place that sells Christmas trees is understandable, given the limited sign space, but it looks stupid anywhere the writing space is not heavily limited.
Um, the Jews don't believe that Jesus (or any future Messiah=Christ) is God to begin with. So why should they write X instead of 'Christ'?
If anything, I think that it comes from the ancient Christian use of the letter Chi (or of the two letters Chi and Rho) as an abbreviation of ฮงฮกฮฮฃฮคฮฮฃ (Christ)...
Yes, but what does it have to do with the replacement of "Christ" by "X" in 'Xmas'?
I must say, I've seen "G-d" being used like that, and of course there are terms such as Adonai or HaShem to use in place of the Tetragrammaton, but I've never seen 'X' being used by Jews in that context. I may be wrong about this, however.
In any case, in the common use of 'Xmas', it does not seem to me that the 'X' is being used as a way to pay respect to Christ (or God's) name.
It's just a shortening of "Christmas", one that I find fairly ugly and more often than not unnecessary (and as I said, religion has nothing to do with that).
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:19:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the flip side people shouldn't be offended when a store clerk says "merry Christmas". It's not about forcing you to follow a religion it's just about someone offering you their blessing. Getting mad over that is like getting mad over someone saying good morning.
It's just my anecdotal evidence, but I have never seen anyone get upset about someone saying, "Merry Christmas." Come Christmas time and my whole Facebook newsfeed is people complaining about thise who DON'T say Merry Christmas, like saying happy holidays is some kind of persecution.
Neskuaxa ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:48:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
good morning.
What did you just fucking say to me? I'll have a bad morning if I want! I hate people who fucking tell me how to live my life.
Couldn't agree more. I'm an atheist but I fucking love Christmas time. Cheerful fucking music? Yes, please. Colorful fucking lights? Hell yeah. Candy just fucking everywhere? Sign me up. Getting to spoil the fuck out of my wife with awesome gifts? Of course. Enjoying some spoiling of my own? Don't mind if I do.
"Merry Christmas" literally means "I hope you experience great joy for, like, twelve fucking days" and anybody who has a problem with that is an idiot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Motherfucker it is got dang 12:03! It is no longer morning, you stupid imbecile! Where is your manager? I want to speak to your manaher right now, boy! Do you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME?!
jheaton6 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:39:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying that the term "Xmas" is "taking Christ out of Christmas".
Back before the days of the printing press, the alphabet wasn't quite as standardized as it is today because it was easy for people to learn to hand-write a new symbol, as opposed to the difficulty of manufacturing an all-new printing tile. Usually these were just amalgamations of already-common letters. One such letter was called the Chi Rho: โง (appears poorly in unicode, but you've likely seen it in Catholic churches). The Chi Rho was a superimposition of the first two letters of the Greek word for 'Christ' (ฮงฮกฮฮฃฮคฮฮฃ) over one another. Legend has it the symbol was revealed to Constantine, and that upon putting it on the shields of his armies, they were victorious in all their battles. But I digress.
So, for the ancient church, โง was the one-character symbol for Jesus Christ. Once it became common to celebrate Jesus's birth every year (in part to push out the Pagan holiday Saturnalia), that celebration was structured as a mass specifically dedicated to celebrating Christ's birth: the Christ's Mass, or โง Mass using the common symbol. Over time, the last 'S' and the space were dropped, and it came to be known as simply โงmas. It was also common for Christians to be referred to as โงtians or โงpians, and the movement as a whole as โงtianity.
Upon the advent of the printing press (although whether the printing press actually played this role is debatable), however, it became necessary to standardize the alphabet more, and thus, the Chi Rho symbol was dropped. Rather than starting to refer to Christ as XP, the custom instead became to refer to Christ simply by the letter Chi, or X (although at this point, language had transitioned to Latin, and that letter was recognized as "ex" rather than "Chi"; still, the tradition of 'X' being the first letter in 'Christ' remained). It thus carried through that the name for the celebration of Jesus' birth came to be known as Xmas.
It wasn't until several years after that development that the entire word started to be spelled phonetically. In a way, one could argue that the more reverent way of phrasing the holiday is actually Xmas, given its roots in the belief that Jesus Christ is sacred enough to deserve reference by one character alone.
(Note: It is partially speculation that the printing press led to the transition from โง to X. X had been in use since the early days of the church as well, and Xtianity was another early name for the movement. The Chi Rho was in more common usage than simply X, however, until the beginning of the Renaissance, thus leading to the speculation that Chi on its own replaced the Chi Rho because of its easier use in print).
Starsy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:45:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My father talks about how he's accepted that one day he will be imprisoned for being a pastor. He honestly thinks Christians are being persecuted here in America by the government and all that jazz.
Neskuaxa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:49:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean it says there will be hard times for Christians, but saying it is happening now is not really constructive to anything.
I know the Bible warns of persecution, but the stuff people say is persecution isnt close to what the original church went through. I mean just because the whole nation doesn't celebrate Christmas or there is gay marriage isn't anything compared to being hunted down and tortured. Heck they want persecution so bad head over to the middle east, those Christians have the right to be worried and complain.
Neskuaxa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. However it's hard to really grasp what the middle Eastern Christians are going through, when comparatively we've got it pretty nice over here.
There is a war on Christianity. They should feel under attack. They are constantly getting bombarded with scientific fact and reason, and are constantly on the defense. I can't blame them for feeling like their in a war. It's the only statement they make that is true.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must feel so euphoric right now.
katasian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty darn true in some places in the world...people are being kidnapped and murdered for being Christians.
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 16:28:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
blobblet ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:26:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people use the Term "War on Christianity" to refer to harmless (allbeit politically controversial) measures of secularisation in democratic states, that is an insult to those in actual suffering for their political propaganda.
However, there are people that are systematically made to suffer for their Christian faith in some countries. Whether we should call this a "War on Christianity" or not is mostly arguing phrasing; going as far as to say "you are a moron and dead to me" seems way over the line.
Personally, I don't share your sentiment that persecution of Christs should not be called a war on Christianity.
While we can probably agree that "The war on X" is not exactly good phrasing since "war" suggests a generally symmetrical combat situation (two or more states fighting each other), in the end it is just imagery that sticks and raises attention to a legitimate cause.
"War on Christianity and nobody else" is, to my knowledge, not a thing anywhere in the world, but hardly any conflict has ever been as simple as two homogenous factions clubbing each other to death.
Was the Holocaust not a war on Jews and Judaism because homosexuals, dissenters and socialists were targeted too? The Nazi regime was eventually striving for racial purity, they just picked out the most "obvious" victims first.
While persecution of Christians has not reached the same level of the attempted systematic persecution and annihilation of Jews, it is hard to draw a line on where the "war on" attribute is appropriate.
Just because the ISIS kills everyone that is not exactly like them does not mean that Christians aren't persecuted. In many muslim countries, where there is no fight between muslim denominations, christians are still persecuted and fought against.
Of course, what christians deal with in the USA is laughable compared to what they suffer in the Middle East or North Korea, but you are dismissing a very serious truth, just because Christians aren't the only target (although they are by far the most persecuted group/religion in this world).
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:53:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uhm. I don't even think that deserves an answer. But I will write one anyway, because I'm not even sure if you are trolling or seriously believe that.
I mean, here on reddit you sometimes read about bible-belt atheists who actually face some kind of discrimination, but that's not even close to the killing, mutilation and persecution that Christians face in many countries.
Which makes no sense considering Christianity is the vast majority holder in the religion department. I think you're gonna be okay Christianity.
Rex_Lee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a religious person...but I am pretty sure that is EXACTLY what ISIS is doing across the middle east right now.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:42:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ISIS isn't starting a war on Christianity. They're starting a war on anyone, no matter what religion, that doesn't convert to Islam and accept sharia laws.
They're arguably a bigger threat to Muslims (shitte and sunni) than other people really. They kill a lot of innocent civilians, blow up mosques, and destroy their history.
*their version of sharia law. Their extreme, disgusting version.
Rex_Lee ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 20:00:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok. I am pretty sure you just said they are starting a war on anyone who doesn't convert to islam, which by definition includes Christians....so I don't really know why you're disputing what I said.
you definitely implied that ISIS is killing christians only because they are christians. Nope, they are killing literally anyone that doesn't conform to their radical islamic views. So atheists, christians, budhists, literally everyone. Your statement just reinforces the Christian persecution complex.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:06:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm saying it's not limited to Christianity as what's said in the original comment.
ktappe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ISIS is a mob using religion as a recruiting tool. They're in it for the money and the power just like any other thugs.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:35:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Callyopi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:45:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No, that's a war on everyone who isn't Sunni Muslim and doesn't follow sharia law.
Edit: sorry I wasn't explicitly specific. Point was, it's not a war on Christianity.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:48:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Neskuaxa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like killing anyone who doesn't eat salt and vinegar chips.
They're killing Muslims too. Unless you adhere to their specific way of interpreting the Islamic faith, they kill you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's literally the exact same thing, you equivocating dumbass. It's a war on Christianity, a war on Shia islam, etc etc.
Callyopi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:47:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are not singling out individual religions. They are killing anyone who does not believe what they believe. The only distinction they are making is "is this guy one of us? Nope. Does he want to be? Nope. Kill him" that's not a war on Christianity and to say it is is asinine.
Pretty sure that's a war on everyone who's not ISIS. And even some of the people who are ISIS. So I guess Christians are included in there, but they've murdered their fair share of Muslims too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh good point, I've been noticing how Isis only Attacks Christians and is totally cool with all the atheists and non Isis Muslims out there.
Torvaun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's only valid in Middle Eastern theocracies.
Zoura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite in addition to this is people claiming that kids can't pray in schools. There's no law against it. You just can't have school organized/teacher lead prayer. But kids can pray if they want.
There really is a war on Christianity, it is being raged by self righteous right wing nut jobs that go against everything Christian about Christianity. Feeding the poor, they are against that, giving shelter to the homeless, to hell with that. Turning the other cheek if someone is against you? Hell, no go to war with them. The people that use the phrase "war on Christianity" are the enemies of Christianity.
That required the bare minimum of effort of google searching. I'm sure if we dug deeper we'd find more. It's cool though keep believing the world is fucked because your parents made you go to church.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh no! The Other is becoming a minor threat to my complete monopoly on Western culture! WE ARE DOOMED!"
No, your pantheist ass would be way more dead than a Christian in ISIS. Even ISIS does not dispute the fact that the prophet Muhammad wrote an letter declaring that people "of the book" (Christians and Jews) must be protected and have the right to worship, so ISIS declared early on that Christians have the option to leave, or stay in ISIS and pay a tax. How closely they're carrying out this promise is under dispute, but I've definitely never heard of those options for atheists or polytheists coming from ISIS.
They think this because Christian values are fading in America (big thing being that gay marriage was legalized). Rather silly, considering 70%'s still christian.
Not trying to get into a fight, I'm honestly just curious, wouldn't that mean you could claim the Holocaust (just an example) couldn't be classified as a war on Judaism since the nazis didn't kill them cause they were Jews, but rather because they weren't Christians? Gypsies and socialists were targeted as well.
I don't agree or disagree with you. Just wondering.
pantheist
Wikipedia: Pantheism is the belief that the Universe (or Nature as the totality of everything) is identical with divinity, or that everything composes an all-encompassing, immanent God. Pantheists thus do not believe in a distinct personal or anthropomorphic god. Some Asian religions are considered to be pantheistically inclined.
sora825 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never heard this, but it sounds like it is supposed to refer to those aggressive atheists who hate all religion, but specifically hate Christianity.
Or the fact that people are all for religious equality & stuff, but really they just mean religious equality except Christianity because it's already so widespread.
limpack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They really think their religion is "warred against"... how cute. I can imagine something like...
Christian: "I'm a christian!"
Me: "Okay um... good for you?"
Christian: "STOP OPPRESSING ME!"
Me: "I'm a Satanist."
Same christian: "OMG U SACRIFICE THINGS AND WORSHIP DARKNESS EVIL PERSON! IM GOING TO KILL U CUZ GOD SAID SO!"
Me: ...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"oh but ISIS isnt killing people for being christian lol"
Yes they fucking are. Stop fucking equivocating and go stuff your edgy fedora up your ass. That's like saying Jews weren't killed for being Jews, they were just killed for being non-German!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:19:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yes they were. Check out what they did in Poland, the USSR, the Balkans, and so on. Your edgy equivocation is only confirming that you fucking fedoras have absolutely no sense of right and wrong. Go whine about how oppressed you are and how Christians totally aren't on /r/atheism, you dumbass neckbeard, I don't give a fuck.
Wow, fundie, don't you know that atheists are literally oppressed? I mean nothing says oppression quite like being a straight cis white well-educated upper class male liberal living in first world suburban America...
Did I say it was successful in taking out Assad or that anything fruitful came from them, other than the same tired dialogue of keeping us in the middle east for the foreseeable future?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From direct or indirect involvement (read: incompetence), ISIS is riding around in AT LEAST 2300 American humvees from when Mosul fell. A billion dollars worth of equipment, not counting gear from when Iraqi "soldiers" shed their uniforms, tucked tail and ran.
Not that bad, though, considering we sold about 4 billion dollars worth of helicopters, missiles and ordinance to saudi arabia and Israel, you know, to combat the threat.
If you really think the middle east isn't one big money generating machine for a military industrial complex, YOU are a delusional knuckle-dragger.
nate800 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's more that people (like you I'm sure) outright deny that Christians are persecuted in our world. Maybe not on our shores, but it happens. For some reason, it gets swept under the rug. Being Christian is like being white. We cannot possibly be persecuted because we are the majority. Are you aware that 16 Christians had their throats slit by Boko Haram just a couple weeks ago? 16 humans, killed because of their religion by another religious group that for some reason gets the PC pass. If you seriously believe it's not a thing, you are a moron.
Awfy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:23:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's by the governments of those countries, not some extremist group like Boko Haram. You think non-Christians fair any better against groups like Boko Haram?
You can claim persecution all you want but the vast majority of your examples are persecution against anyone who doesn't fall into the persecutor's demographic, it's not targeted at Christians. That's why it pisses a lot of people off, it's ignorance on the behalf of the Christians who claim they are persecuted.
and his disformed little brother "So I am a racist now, just because I think every other race is inferior and should be deported?" I modded a political forum on a german facebook clone for 4 years and got this shit and similar bs almost daily.
If someone has to start out a sentence with "I'm not racist, but..." That sentence just should not be said. The "I'm not racist" does nothing to make the statement not racist.
Dreadsin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if it's followed by something that has nothing to do with race?
"I'm not racist but this lemonade is lovely"
LDR23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could up vote this more than once, I cannot agree more with you on this one!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You love black people?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most all things in that format really.
"I don't hate gay people, but ..."
"I think you're a cool guy, but ..."
"I'd love to suck your dick, but ..."
All either end in veiled insults or disappointment.
I don't exactly say these phrases, but I have a very satirical sense of humor and to passers by, I can look like I'm just being a racist asshole. I avoid saying "I'm not racist, but..." because I'm secure enough in my beliefs that I don't have to reassure myself by prefacing it with a phrase like that.
All my friends get it. Anyone who talks to me in any light gets it. They may not always agree with me, but I respect it. That said, fuck people that have to preface everything with something that confirms their beliefs.
if there's one thing that I do notice about myself that truly can be qualified as racist, it's that the moment I hear a Haitian accent, I automatically assume that I need to double check their work and make sure they didn't half-ass it. I hate that I make that conclusion and I try to put it out of my mind, but it seems that there's always something forgotten or something looked over. It's probably confirmation bias, but it's an idea and will take time to break.
I'm not racist but i love racist JOKES because they are just JOKES and nothing more than that. Same with gay, religion jokes etc. They are funny and piss many people off. Doesn't mean i hate these people. I just love to laugh at funny jokes. There are people who joke about me and other surrounding people, that doesn't mean we hate each other. The same logic is applied but many people think if you make a joke about other race then you are automatically racist which is false and just shows how dumb these people are if they think that.
I don't know, this phrase appears a lot lately around new Mafia III trailers, and I feel like sometimes it is used somewhat legitimately.
For those who don't know the series, Mafia series was about being an Italian gangster in Italian mafia, main character being sharp-looking Italian was basically identification sign of the games, and devs decided to make main character a black American. Incredible ammount of people are disappointed, but not because they're hateful towards black people, but because it just doesn't feel like a Mafia game anymore.
things like "I speak my mind" or just really strong stubborn opinions in general. It's great to have an opinion, but I like to leave room for uncertainty. As king of the hill, "Why do you hate what you don't understand?" It's like they're superior to you just for having a really strong dislike for something. A strong like on the other hand is cool and passionate!
mkomaha ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:47:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who use "excuse" as a derogatory term.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're a sorry excuse for an X"
or "That's just an EXCUSE."
or "EXCUSE me, Princess."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand. I completely agree. You don't want to use the word "excuse" like that unless you want people to think you're a bitch/dick.
mkomaha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Example would be "whats your excuse this time?" or "stop giving me excuses". Excuses are reasons why. They aren't derogatory.
People who think this way aren't good people.
I also hate the terms "baby mama" or baby daddy." They both sound really trashy.
I've usually only seen this used in relation to people who would be described as trashy.
Wawoowoo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:35:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This, but the opposite. Woman is a noun. People try to dance around this by saying things like "a woman scientist and a male scientist" when everyone knows it's patronizing bullshit.
Contrary to public opinion, I don't think "females" is actually a product of sexism: it's about age. People under 30 still aren't comfortable calling each other "men" and "women", but they can fall back on "guys" as a generic term with no connotations, while the language simply lacks an equivalent casualism for the other sex.
But it still makes you sounds like a Ferengi, or a zoologist.
My father once had a formal complaint filed against him for using "gals" to refer to a group of administrative assistants at his office. They were mostly African American and apparently they considered it a racial slur.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:51:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:02:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"female
หfiหmeษชl/
adjective
1.
of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) which can be fertilized by male gametes.
"a herd of female deer"
noun
1.
a female person, animal, or plant."
It's both.
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 23:56:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an underweight person, "You should eat more." Yet nobody will go to an overweight individual and tell them to eat less, the double standard is infuriating. Even my high school teachers would make jokes about my weight, it was miserable.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm quite skinny and tall. People feel the need to point it out constantly and its annoying as fuck.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:45:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I'm 183cm and weigh 56kg so I'm pretty much a stick, but I don't need strangers pointing that out to me.
degret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 195 at 90kg and I still get called skinny. I mean going off bmi I'm borderline overweight.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah if you get called skinny imagine what real skinny people go through... It's fucking daily.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:38:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:44:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, the internet is a horrible place but in real life it is waaaaaaay more socially acceptable to call out skinny people than fat people. FPH was absolutely disgusting, but that's what happens when you have anonymous 12 year olds.
As a fat person, I've had some nasty shit said to me, including having "heifer" screamed at me when I was out on a run and getting rude comments said to me at the gym.
The hatred towards fat people is a little more insidious off the internet. I've been told that I have a cute face and would be really gorgeous if I wasn't so fat, and I have gotten unsolicited dieting tips just because I happened to be eating in people's vicinity (we weren't talking about dieting or even weight or health.)
I get that you've had some harmful things said to you and I appreciate your feelings; however, please understand that society's nasty view on weight harms both sides of the spectrum. To assume that fat people don't get told to eat less is just plain ignorant.
Edit: Grammar
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:35:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with what you said, but there is still a difference in my eyes. Nobody is going to tell a fat person to eat less without the intention of being mean or hurtful, meanwhile calling someone skinny or telling them to eat more isn't seen as rude in our society. I'm sure you've probably suffered more abuse than I have, but probably only from asshole who are actively trying to insult you. I've had friends, family, teachers, people I care about call me out on my weight and it's very hurtful.
Nah, I have had friends, family, teachers, people I care about call me out on my weight as well.
In fact the person who said "you'd be really pretty if you weren't fat" was my own grandmother, and a lot of the unsolicited diet comments are from people in my family.
The egregious ones (such as the yelling and the gym comments) were by strangers just trying to be assholes, but the insidious ones were always by people who cared about me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe we live in different parts of the world then, if a teacher called a student fat they would be fired almost instantly without a doubt where I live. Sucks you get that shit from your own family though, it's rough.
I've always been taller and slimmer than others my age, and I mostly agree with you on this. However, in undergrad I got such a comment from a girl handing out flyers which amused me.
She approached me with an exaggeratedly bubbly "Hey!! Do you like free food?!" This being several weeks into classes, I had already learned to completely ignore this, which must have made her feel bad. She then shouted after me: "You could use some!"
"You're not driving, your opinion doesn't matter"
I know I'm not driving. I'm right here with you. I can tell that I'm not driving. But I do drive. And I can see clearly how you are driving, again, from right here beside you. And you're driving like an idiot.
Healthy at Every Size. It's something reddit thinks is a huge deal but really isn't all that common. Just a circlejerk. Nothing to see here.
D3gr33 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 19:56:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Healthy at Every Size
Just to clear one thing up, it's "Health at Every Size" instead of "Healthy at Every Size". The message isn't that people can be healthy no matter how large they are, the message is that no matter how large you are, your focus should be on trying to be healthy. If that means going on a diet then go on a diet, but in a medical setting, the focus should be on doing what is healthiest, whether that means losing weight or not. Most of the pressure to go on a diet isn't really related to health, it's related to wanting to look better and be respected more, and we shouldn't confuse that with eating right in order to be healthy.
Anyway, I personally think that's a giant load of shit and that obesity is inherently unhealthy, I just understand how they get frustrated at people saying that they disagree with the movement because you can't be healthy at every size, when that's not actually what the movement is trying to say at all.
It stands for 'Health At Every Size'. It's almost exclusively used by overweight/obese people who try to justify that they are just as healthy as normal weight people.
They're just pandering. It really isn't a big movement it's just well known on reddit especially amongst the poor lost fph crowd. Gotta get those upboats somehow!
My coworker loves coke. Hates Pepsi and every Pepsi related product. So when Coke life came out he kept telling everyone it is healthy coke. All natural! Still not sure if he is joking...
I'd like a McRib with extra fries, a big cone icecream. Oh, and a diet coke.
[deleted] ยท 543 points ยท Posted at 15:42:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its just genetics!
But being gay is definitely a choice.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:02:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but this is such a stupid straw man. These two statements are completely unrelated. Unless of course you're trying to say that fat people are homophobes or something, which is so strange because the whole "Fat Acceptance Movement" is the spawn of hyper-liberalism. This comment serves no purpose other than to feed into the circlejerk.
D3gr33 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:37:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comment thread serves no purpose other than to feed into the circlejerk.
Let's be honest, we all know why this thread exists.
Linearts ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:45:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are a number of HAES bloggers who make excuses for being lazy, gluttonous, and fat, while hating homosexual men.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:51:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok cool. There are a number of black rights activists who talk about equality for all while simultaneously attacking Jewish people. Doesn't mean all black people are anti-Semitic, or that there's any reason to bring anti-semitism when talking about black rights. It would only serve as a stupid, meaningless straw man.
You are the only person to state an entire group. Everyone has provided examples which are true of a sub group, which is the thing with examples, they aren't always representative of the whole.
Also, that wouldn't have to be a straw man argument. It could be, but wouldn't have to be.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:24:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism, I'm still responsible for not becoming an alcoholic, even if it's easier for me to become one than the average person.
But in all seriousness being predisposed to alcoholism and diabetes sucks. On the plus side, knowing this has allowed me to be mindful of what I put in my body.
Who are you mad at, specifically? Because I think there's a good chance they don't actually exist.
nate800 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:41:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I saw some study that found that genetics only makes up a 10-15lbs weight difference across most people unless they have some kind of serious anomaly. If I find it, I'll post it!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, genetics caused you to go through that drive-through, get 2 meals with 2 drinks (so it would seem that you're buying for someone else), and then eat them in your car in a parking lot before you go home to have dinner with your parents. That was genetics. It wasn't your lack of self-control leading to a life of self-destructive excess at all.
There's definitely a genetic component to how easy it is to lose/gain.
However this just means it's more/less difficult for different people (except in specific cases). Don't tell me it's impossible because you can't put in the effort.
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:07:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This year I went from having a BMI of 34.5 to 26.2, a loss of over 50 lbs. When I was obese, I did not feel healthy. I felt fucking terrible. I was depressed and lazy. HAES is a lie.
The fact of the matter is you don't lose weight until you're ready to commit to it. Same thing with quitting smoking. It's been almost 3 years since my last cigarette too. You can do anything if you're really ready for it.
I could be wrong, but I thought the HAES movement was originally supposed to be less like "don't make any effort to change you're fine at whatever size" more like "develop good eating/exercise habits because it's good for you rather than obsessing about the numbers on the scale." Which makes sense, because weight can fluctuate a bit day to day and people can hit plateaus and whatever that can be discouraging, plus there are people like my best friend who are skinny as a rail but eat nothing but oreos and ramen and that's not good for you, either.
That's exactly what it was, originally! Eat healthy and exercise moderately, and your weight will even out on its own without you obsessing over the scale.
more like "develop good eating/exercise habits because it's good for you rather than obsessing about the numbers on the scale."
Considering it's called Health At Every Size and not Healthy At Every Size, that's exactly what it is. But this is reddit and we all know how reddit reacts to people who aren't like them.
newloaf ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 18:07:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is folks who claim their metabolisms do not abide by the Law of Conservation of Energy. "It doesn't matter how low my calorie intake is. I exercise every day, but I still can't lose weight!"
you mean NASA? No need to call the NSA, they already know.
tungstan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:07:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called getting older, you will learn when you're working out in your 40s
newloaf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:08:12 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Already in my 40s, thanks! I remember telling my uncle when I was in my 20s that when I got older and my metabolism slowed down I would cut down my calorie consumption so I wouldn't put on weight. He told me it was "a little more complicated than that".
Metabolisms in the traditional sense don't affect weight that much, however the whole concept of "conservation of energy" in our bodies is incredibly flawed. When we take in energy in the form of food, two things happen, generally speaking. Either it gets stored as energy (fat, for instance), or deposited as waste. There are many people with congenital conditions which affect the body differently. Many individuals find it quite difficult to gain weight. Where does all of that consumed energy go? It gets shat out.
Such as wide sweeping generalization has no place from a medical perspective.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
There are a group of larger girls that I know, and I once overheard them talking about how healthy they are and how they just CAN'T lose weight because of 'genetics'. Yes, genetics do play a role in your size and bone structure, and no, not everyone is meant to be a size 2... I get that. However, when I see you funnelling back soda and chips and cookies, just because you decide to have a side salad with that does NOT mean you're 'healthy'. You have to make constant choices to eat the correct portion of healthy foods. If you ate as healthfully as you say you do, you would NOT be 250+ lbs... On the flip side of that, not every small skinny person is healthy either! They may have fast metabolisms to compensate for their shitty eating habits, or they could just eat small portions of shitty food for each meal, but skinny does not always equal healthy either. In short, just make a conscious effort to eat properly sized portions of healthy food and you'll be fine.
There are genetic patterns that would cause a person to be tall, have broad shoulders, wide set rib cages etc etc, in other words, "to be big boned". People who do have those types of genetics could look larger while still living healthfully. Besides medical conditions like hypothyroidism and things like that, there is no reason that a person who eats properly sized portions of healthy and nourishing food, should be obese. You could look larger while having an appropriate amount of body fat for your body type, and still be healthy. Ethnicity can also play a part in body types as well, but that's a whole other topic.
HOWEVER:
If you are 5'8, 300lbs and I see you constantly munching on junk food and soda while proclaiming how healthy you are, I'm going to judge you
CafeNino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All about dat bass?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kyddeath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up heavy. forced to clean the plate, candy/snacks given instead of compassion if I was down or upset. Did not learn about proper nutrition till a few years ago then lost 40 pounds in one summer. Depression and disability kept me from keeping it off but taking it one day at a time to lose it and the rest.
Them GMOs dun made me fatter than I actually am by changing muh genetics
VAPossum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Happy at any size, sure. Beauty at all sizes, yup, I'm on board. Healthy at every size, no. Obese people can be healthy, but their risks are much higher.
Yes, they should have to defend themselves and never be comfortable in their own skin! /s
Being obese isn't healthy. There are plenty of physical ailments that come from it. But mental health is a portion of being healthy. Guilt, shame, negative, negative feelings, don't tend to foster healthy lifestyle choices. It is easier to change when you feel more comfortable with who you are as a person.
You also don't know what is going on in a person's life. People trying to incorporate healthy choices into their lives should never be met with negativity.
I have suffered from chronic pain and illness for many years. The medication, depression, and inability to much caused me to pack on the pounds. I would barely eat and still gain weight. I finally have been able to get my health back, and my pain under control and have made some healthy changes to my life. I am losing weight, but I didn't put it on overnight and it won't all come off overnight either. I shouldn't be made to feel bad about myself at every turn when I am doing all I can to be truly heathly.
I could do none of this if I stayed in a place of self-hatred and loathing. I have been there and it only caused harm.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the only reason i can see being mordibly obese is if you have anxiety/depression that isn't treatable w/ any medications out there, and you don't want to pass away due to suicide. so, you just keep on living.
In training at my new job I had a guy who is around at least 400lbs+ try to tell me how I shouldn't drink soda because its so unhealthy. He then went on to tell everyone how he just found out he had to start losing weight because he started developing some health issues recently. The way he said it is what bothered me the most. As if he was healthy when he was in the 300lb range.
Cacame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How about anyone that justifies being a cunt to fat people with "but "HAES" is dangerous! They need to know that they are sub-human filth or they won't lose weight!"
I always thought fat acceptance was bs but since the FPH saga I'm not so sure.
Anyone who tries to justify being hateful by spouting off about that "FPH" movement.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:39:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
D3gr33 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:04:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The same concept exists in multiple places, though. The concept of "Fat People Hate" manifested itself on reddit as a subreddit, but there are "Fat People Hate" 4chan and 8chan threads, there are tumblrs devoted to mocking fat people, etc. At that point, it's not just a subreddit, there are probably dozens of places on the internet devoted to the concept of "Fat People Hate". Which, whether you agree or disagree with the core concept of it, is pretty fucking weird when you stop and think about it.
Playing devil's advocate here. The movement has a point to make in that simply being overweight doesn't necessarily mean someone is unhealthy, and someone who is of a normal weight isn't necessarily healthy. I've known healthy, athletic people who are naturally larger, and Ive known skinny people who have absolutely awful lifestyles. They're basically asking people to think more about what it means to be healthy.
Gurip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Playing devil's advocate here. The movement has a point to make in that simply being overweight doesn't necessarily mean someone is unhealthy
but that exatly what it is.. it is unhealthy, proven by tons of scientists and people in medical fields.
A quick google search disagrees with you. There are plenty of recent studies that demonstrate that being overweight can be a natural body state for SOME people.
All I'm saying is that there are people with extra mass who are still fit and eat well. This coincides with my personal experience as well. It can also be (and often most often is) a sign of an unhealthy lifestyle, but not always.
There are plenty of thin people are very unhealthy as well.
There are unhealthy thin people: drug addicts, smokers, etc, but that doesn't change the fact that high body fat is horrible for you. Also, you got a source on these 'recent studies' that show being overweight is a natural body state?
Most dumbasses can't tell what morbidly obese means. Then they think that because someone else is fat, they are superior and this fat person certainly deserves to be made fun of for being in public.
At this point I've taken to agreeing with Haas just in protest of people who are just plain dicks about it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:40:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People speak up when anorexics are extremely underweight because it is unhealthy and endangering their well being, the other extreme should be acceptable too.
"Oh she's/he's very attractive, for a black/coloured person"
Like dude. No. Appreciate the beauty without feeling the need to add a qualifier.
Edit: Typo.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:53:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if as a general rule an individual does not find most members of another race attractive? Their sexual attraction is now racist?
I probably wouldn't say it out loud in public but I am honestly a little surprised when I find black women attractive. The ones who I find attractive are VERY attractive, but they are few and far between.
On the other hand, I find most latinas in good health to be fairly attractive. I guess I must just be racist.
It isn't about your sexual preference, it's about making generalizations.
"This one person from x race is attractive, but everyone in y race is attractive."
Although, I feel even that isn't what I really dislike, I dislike the fact that they cannot comprehend what they are saying. You said you wouldn't say it out loud, that means you understand how social situations work. Means you have some measure of intelligence.
What if as a general rule an individual does not find most members of another race attractive? Their sexual attraction is now racist?
Lots of people feel this is the case, yeah.
I find most latinas in good health to be fairly attractive. I guess I must just be racist.
Yup. Well, if you're into them because blablabla "sassy firey latina" it actually is racist. If it's that you find them aesthetically appealing? Nah, I don't date redheads as a general rule, and I prefer black hair. That's just having a type, imo.
empgdca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not racist to find someone attractive or unattractive due to their race. As you said, it's just having a type.
I realize that statement was pretty vague, I got bronchitis so I'm pretty lethargic because of the medication. What I meant to say was that it isn't about finding someone attractive or not, it's the fact that every time someone uses this phrase it is accompanied by a sense of disbelief. "It's not possible that race X can have beautiful people!" That's where the superiority comes in.
This is okay as long as you specify that you don't find X race etc attractive.
Zemogray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have to disagree with you. It's never ok, when you speak of a person in this context, it's like your complimenting them while insulting them. However it's more larger scaled since it applies to their race/skin. Just say you find that person attractive.
I would like to say that I've simply just could never get into a book like avid readers but I'll cut the shit and be honest in saying that I do infact hate reading. Care to explain why you dislike people who do?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people that say it hate to think in general and need everything spelled out for them. Not everyone, but the ones that claim it as a defining characteristic aren't so great.
I'm an avid reader, and it just avoid me when people say they don't like to read, because they are missing out on a whole form of media that is incredible. A lot of people can't be convinced that reading can be a lot of fun, and I personally don't understand it.
I think one of the biggest reasons for this is assigned reading in schools. Now, don't get me wrong, I think it's important for kids to read regularly throughout school but in my own experience it's not fun to do something you're forced to do. From a very early age, schools really try to get kids to love reading. By middle school, most kids associate reading as kind of a chore. It doesn't help that the titles assigned just aren't interesting for most kids. At least this is how I felt. I think I only liked about 2-3 of the books I ever had to read in middle/high school. And even the books I did like I couldn't get "lost" in like you're suppose to do. I could tolerate the story just enough to sit through an activity I think is incredibly dull.
Maybe this is because were now surrounded by TV, internet, video games, things that provide a greater amount of stimulation for the same amount of effort as a book. Maybe it just comes down to preference. Personally, I always loved video games. I can "lost" in them like you can in reading. They allow me to enjoy the entire artistic spectrum in an interactive package. Art, music, storytelling, gameplay mechanics, fun-factor, etc. I just can't get that from reading. I find it incredibly taxing and boring. I can't focus or process information as quickly. Sure, this probably just means I haven't trained myself to read well enough and there are books out there that I would probably like, but I just find games more satisfying.
Zemogray ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:23:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I've actually noticed this. I read all the time as a child. I still have a library of books I read as a child. From Harry potter to spiderwick to magic thief. I just loved the idea of reading. When I progressed through school, I slowly started to dislike it. It felt more like a chore now adays.
Ranndym ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:03:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That Donald Trump is making a lot of sense these days."
ibbolia ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:15:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I want him to win as a wake up call" THAT'S NOT A GOOD REASON
I was in Bradford with relatives a week ago and they watched the debates while I was sleeping in my friend's car. After that all I ever heard from them about Trump was about how right he was about this country and I don't even know what he said.
Yes, I have two friends who love Trump. They toe the Republican line no matter what. It's frustrating. If he weren't running, they'd think he was a joke like I do.
VAPossum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Trump/Palin '16!"
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 15:36:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever some one says "I'm just gonna kill myself" for attention and not because they're actually suicidal. Like, "Oh my god, my parents are dumb, my professors all hate me, everything sucks, I'm just gonna kill myself." or to gain sympathy or to push someone to do something, "if you break up with me, I'm going to kill myself."
If someone threatens suicide, especially in an emotionally blackmail kind of way, you should tell them you'll call 911. You aren't trained to deal with it.
wlee1987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"if you break up with me, I'm going to kill myself."
I wouldn't go that far, but mine was my ex who was obsessed with getting me back and pretty damn desperate. Several times I had my phone ready to go. I don't know what the police do in these situations, but I'm pretty sure it would be a headache for her.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:54:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They would cuff her and bring her to the closest psych ward. She would be stuck there against her will for like 72(?) hours. They can keep signing a new form to keep you there if they want though (in Canada at least). I was involuntarily committed and after a couple days they said I could stay voluntarily. I asked them what they would do if I didn't want to stay and they told me they would force me through another form. I got privileges by being voluntary so that what I chose.
I wonder if it's the same down here in the US... that's good to know though, she needed legit psych help for her anxiety and paranoia, and a wake up call.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:02:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It changed my life. You see the psychiatrists daily or weekly and you hopefully get the right meds. It feels like the regular process but fast tracked. Not everyone feels the same but I am very glad I got sent there.
tim1901 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swag
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RyanB_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, hasn't been for ages
baitaozi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here for this. I had a "friend" skip my wedding because she wanted to go to a concert that was 30 minutes away from my wedding venue... and when asked why, she said, "YOLO." Yeah.. no shit. That concert is twice a year. I only get married once a lifetime. Oh, forgot to mention she's in Cali and I'm in Texas... She flew to Texas for that damn concert.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at the best." Fuck off with that bullshit, most people that say this want an excuse to be a massive cunt.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:47:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand people with no desire for self-improvement. If you have to make excuses and expect everyone else to simply tolerate your worst, rather than trying to adapt and improve, you aren't worth my time.
Tanexion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:32 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen this quite a few times and honestly, I always thought people who said this were talking about physical appearance.
Like, most people have days where we just look like crap. It happens. I always took that phrase to mean, 'if I'm not good enough on days where I don't look perfect, don't even bother.'
Yet people get mad when I bring up that so is the Theory of Gravity or the Theory of Planetary Motion or the Germ Theory of Disease or the Theory of Sexual Reproduction.
Well that makes sense, I was just thinking in terms of the scientific definitions.
Csantana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with your sentiment 100% I really hate when people say this
also something that kinda bugs me though is when people say "so is gravity" and maybe add "so I hope they float off of the earth"
I know there is a theory of gravity but gravity is something that is really easy to observe and is a phenomenon we all experience. While you could argue that evolution is as well ( and I would) I feel like we need a better comparison.
"so is germ theory" "so I hope they get dysentery (although I really don't hope they get dysentery, they are also human and don't deserve to suffer)"
Zemogray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Technically speaking in a scientific context, it's both
Scientific understanding requires both facts and theories that can explain those facts in a coherent manner. Evolution, in this context, is both a fact and a theory. It is an incontrovertible fact that organisms have changed, or evolved, during the history of life on Earth.
Oh no! The dreaded toxins. Reminds me of miasma, the idea that you would get ill from smelling foul smells.
mrnagrom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thank you, thank you, thank you.
espo1959 ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 17:03:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get instantly pissed off at high school kids asking when they'll ever use this stuff in real life. You won't mother fucker, it's all about learning to be responsible with work.
There are better ways to make someone responsible than to make them learn shit they will never use.
If you are going to work at Burger King when you leave high school, teaching you 4 years of Shakespeare isn't doing you a favor. Students should not be forced to take classes that offer them nothing besides trigonometry if their career goal doesn't have anything to do with it.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:23:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is, though, they might not know what job they'll want when they leave high school. When I was a freshman, I thought I was going to be a comic book artist. So obviously I didn't really need math or anything like that, right? Now that I'm older I realize that's an unrealistic goal for me, and I am so glad that I couldn't just drop all my math and science classes because I "didn't need them". I'm glad that I was "forced" to take geometry and chemistry and economics along with the classes that I actually liked.
What if the teachers had just said, "Oh, this fourteen year old wants to make comic books for a living? Well, I guess we won't be making her take any math classes. She's definitely old enough to choose what she wants to do for a living and plan her education for the next few years based on that!" Then I would have wasted my rights to a free basic education just because I had unrealistic dreams as a child. When I got older and realized that comic book writing just isn't a realistic career choice for me, it would be too late. If I wanted that basic education, I'd have to pay for it. I'd have to take some sort of extra-remedial classes in college before I ever moved on to the normal ones, and that would make it take longer for me to graduate, and that would mean that I'm paying for at least another year of tuition. TL;DR: If that kid ever decides that he doesn't want to work at Burger King after high school for the rest of his life, having a free high school education will make things a hell of a lot easier.
but none of the math i learned after 14 years of age was never once useful to me again. I forgot it all and it doesnt matter. I have my own business and do my own taxes and there is no problem i cant simply do with a calculator and 6th grade math skills.
Well here's a more relevant example then. When I was in high school, I wanted to be a psychologist. After my first semester of college, I discovered my love of engineering and actually needed all that math I learned in high school.
I feel that no education is ever wasted. Knowing more never hurts you. The fact that you learned several levels of math beyond arithmetic might have taught you problem solving skills that leak into your daily life. Four years of literary analysis taught you critical thinking skills that can apply to anything you read or watch or learn
I think needing all the math you learned in high school puts you in a minority. I had every summer from middle-highschool wasted on math summer school when I could have been working/travelling/camping with my family and been learning so much more. That time should of been spent learning something i was passionate about, not wasted learning shit I will not remember or ever use as soon as i leave the classroom.
I guess we just need to have individualized education for every single student and trust they know exactly what subjects are important before even learning them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't seem as if it was important, but you underestimate just how much you learned from doing the math, even if you don't remember the math itself.
There are connections in your brain right now you wouldn't have if you didn't take high level maths, and you use them every day in critical thinking and risk/reward assessments, for starters.
I support this view. School is basically about analytical and critical thinking - at least that is the idea. You practice seeing patterns in different ways. Different subjects are there to give you different approaches to understand different aspects of the world using different methods. The content is there primarily because you need data to run programs and maybe find out what interests you. If you don't remember any of the data later it's no big deal but the programs are what helps you develop as a person and professionally.
edit: Math is also one hell of a language to express, work with, and understand condensed theories of variables that are influenced by others. Stuff you couldn't explain in 5 pages of text make up only one or two lines of an equation you can fuck with to see what happens if you change one variable or the other. That shit can be used to explain the world. It's not just a mental exercise. Well, you rarely get that in school because teachers don't want to lose the math haters.
bullshit! you might as well tell me that chewing gum as a kid created new connections in my brain and that i use for critical thinking. High level math wasted time i should have spent studying what i was passionate about.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:47:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chewing gum does not involve much problem solving. Reasoning out a complex, multi step equation...
You see the idea. Skills you need in order to function in high levels of any occupation. I really don't have respect for someone who would choose to be willingly ignorant.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:10:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you are going to work at Burger King when you leave high school, teaching you 4 years of Shakespeare isn't doing you a favor.
Yes, it absolutely is. If you leave school without having read some of humanity's greatest literature, you have been failed. If you leave school without knowing how a cell operates, you have been failed. If you leave school without knowing how impossibly huge the universe is and how insignificant our entire planet is, you have been failed. If you leave school without knowing who Pythagoras was and how to solve his theorem, you have been failed.
If you leave school without knowing how to manage simple bank accounts, you have been failed.
Yes. Literature makes you think about problems that are relevant to the world. Even if it's 400 years old. Life hasn't changed that much if you get down to the basic themes. It also teaches you to enjoy art and explore ways to express yourself.
Yes, it absolutely is. If you leave school without having read some of humanity's greatest literature, you have been failed. If you leave school without knowing how a cell operates, you have been failed. If you leave school without knowing how impossibly huge the universe is and how insignificant our entire planet is, you have been failed. If you leave school without knowing who Pythagoras was and how to solve his theorem, you have been failed.
If you leave school without knowing how to manage simple bank accounts, you have been failed.
Two types of knowledge, both extremely important.
And you believe this because?
I agree with some of the stuff you named but others not so much.
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO BE INTEGRATING EVERY DAY MOTHERFUCKER, IT'S ABOUT LEARNING THE CONCEPT THAT YOU CAN BREAK UP YOUR BIG-ASS PROBLEM INTO SMALL-ASS EPSILONS TO SOLVE THE SHIT OUT OF IT. THAT IDEA IS WHAT SHOULD STICK THE FUCK WITH YOU.
Guarantee you that more kids would pay attention in class if you were the teacher.
TheLuper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So that justifies me sitting through trig and calc even though i wanted a job in the music industry? Maybe i don't wanna solve the shit out of things numb nuts
To be fair, I forgot pretty much everything I learned in high school by now.
wlee1987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:38:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you none of them have asked that during sex ed though.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They have a point sometimes though, at least in my high school, we were forced to take classes that overall help very little when we could be learning about something that we will need in the future. At least for me, the frustration came from being taught something along the lines of a hobby as opposed to something vital to my future success.
The point is more than just learning enough to do work and function in society. Exploration and Curiosity are fundamental things we want in an educated person.
Why do we teach Shakespeare, integrals and the second world war? They are all fundamental in understanding the inner workings of reality and life itself. One could live and work without this knowledge, but what would be the point?
We've decided as a society that it's better when a student can appreciate forms of art, understand the foundations of modern technology, and understand the historical context of their times.
Most students don't even know what they want to do, and most won't be able to do what they want to do until after rigorous training greater than the schools can provide is available. Moreover, students that do know what they want to do are generally the type of students that would also want to understand shakespeare and know more about the second world war.
And even more importantly than all of those, we have a tendency to mystify the world. To take what we don't understand as impossible technical magic. And the demystification that schools provide is very important to functioning in modern society, and contributing in the greater human experience.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a teacher I wish more people understood this. I go out of my way to make this clear on top of the usefulness of the subject (which is limited, but still there).
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 22:02:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Number of people I have heard angry about Christmas IRL: 0.
Personally I think xmas is a cheap ripoff that shouldn't be celebrated; it should be replaced by Yule...
...which was the original holiday, before christians ruined it.
And before you make some silly claim; I don't have any sort of "political party" affiliation.
...followed by some bullshit they read on Facebook or picked up from their local newspaper; rather than an actual horoscope. Pisses me off.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 21:01:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they judge someone based on their outer appearance.
Especially if someone instantly hates another person based on one experience or interaction.
For example, a cashier seems like a nice gal but she's short with you.
"Well she must be a bitch. Fuck her. I hate people like that. She's a horrible person for not treating me like royalty."
Well what if her Dad died a week ago? What if she's got 20 bills and three kids and is stressed out? What if she's grappling with depression or anxiety?
"Man judges by a person's outer appearance..." and all that.
I always make room for second impressions because I'm often wrong. People need to give others a chance and not expect perfection from strangers.
I'm right there with you on this. I was out with my ex and his family once, I hadn't spent much time with them at all, but I knew they were pretty bitchy and inconsiderate. We were sat eating, and a lady in her 40's or so walked past to use the bathroom. She looked perfectly normal to me.
Suddenly my ex's mum and her daughters started coming out with things like "Jesus, how does that bitch fit in that dress?" and "She looks a bit old and rough to be dressing up", and "Mutton dressed as lamb"
I was dumbfounded. My ex justified it by saying "They've always been judgmental", like that somehow excuses what they said. The lady didn't hear any of this, but I felt so bad for her. A nice woman, probably out for a quiet meal with her family, and thought she would put on a dress to feel nice for the evening, only to be very, very aggressively ridiculed by the people I was eating with. I didn't go out with them again after that, and his family was a big part of why we ended up splitting.
The_Yar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:39:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you think is meant by "very," "really," "truly," "seriously," and all of the other words that used to mean "literally" but now mean "dramatic emphasis"?
But that isn't true. I learned recently that the use of the word literally to mean figuratively has been going on for over a hundred years in literature. No different than the word really, which used to mean the same damn thing. If the person said really instead of literally you likely wouldn't of batted an eye.
"He is a fortunate man to be introduced to such a party of fine women at his arrival; it is literally to feed among the lilies." - The History of Emily Montague by Francis Brooke, 1769
"We had been literally rocked in our bed." - Sanditon by Jane Austen, 1817
"Lily, the caretakerโs daughter, was literally run off her feet." -Dubliners by James Joyce, 1914
But "correct" becomes entirely arbitrary then. Words have usages, not intrinsic meanings. Dictionaries track usages and nothing more. As mentioned, you wouldn't have batted an eye about the term really being used, despite it originally meaning the same thing as literally qua literally.
"He is a fortunate man to be introduced to such a party of fine women at his arrival; it is literally to feed among the lilies." - The History of Emily Montague by Francis Brooke, 1769
"We had been literally rocked in our bed." - Sanditon by Jane Austen, 1817
"Lily, the caretakerโs daughter, was literally run off her feet." -Dubliners by James Joyce, 1914
sonofjim ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 15:31:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a Christian, I..." (Or insert any other religion here) Just because you say you're a religious person doesn't make whatever you have to say next any more important than what I have to say.
I was agreeing with you, I didn't mean "you" directly.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:43:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they're proposing a legitimate discussion of ethics. For example: "As a Christian, I was raised to believe that [religious tenet] is correct, but as a rational human I find that [opposing idea] seems to undermine [religious tenet]. How can I reconcile these concepts?"
People can have difficulty outright abandoning their faith, but a willingness to question and evaluate faith and beliefs is something that should be encouraged. This is how ideologies evolve and mature. This is how we break away from literal interpretations of archaic scripture.
acdop100 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:37:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this could also come from someone who is saying they are coming from a different point of few, not necessarily "I am better than you because I follow this religion, so listen to my opinion on this issue"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:45:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My opinion on this follows from a religious / political platform that I've accepted wholesale, so that I can participate in the public discourse without having to reason, or read anything."
Well, when people do this, it isn't always because they think their religion makes their opinion more important, they just say it to provide context, or a reason for why they think that.
qi1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny you complain about that because the only thing you will find here on Reddit is
In what context do you hear this that you don't like it? In my experience, it's always been things like, "As a Christian, I don't think Jesus was a perfect human being, even though I do believe he is my God and Savior." Which totally makes sense.
sonofjim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something like "As a Christian, I believe that everyone should do x,y,z"
doesn't make whatever you have to say next any more important than what I have to say.
To be fair, I only pull my "religion card" if I need to correct somebody on something.
Not really a "what I'm saying is more important", it's just that 90% or so of people are dead wrong about my beliefs.
IAmHavox ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:32:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gets to a store 3 minutes before closing. "Woo, we made it just in time!"
Last time i had a woman who thought we were open till 9 while we close at 8 she spend 25 minutes looking at vacuums and cleaning supplies forcing us to work extra without getting payed. She bought 7 euros worth of shit
Oh and when you ask someone a question to which they find the answer is obvious and they respond with 'What do YOU think?'.
What do I think? I think you're a condescending little shit.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:56:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with that? Seriously people say it's a problem but why is it a problem? It's just someone showing how they sympathise with you and want to show it.
Personally If anyone from any religion said they'd pray for me I'd take it as a complement.
I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to check my privileges. Are they written down somewhere? Do they get automatically updated? am i able to purchase new ones help
Right click on the file, then click on properties. There you can check and change your read/write/execute privileges. Oh, and it's free. You're welcome.
Not to be THAT GUY, but it's not a complete idiomatic phrase, the back end of it is implied - "Check your privilege (at the door)" in the same way you'd check your coat at a nice restaurant.
Though I do agree with you that the phrase is fucking silly.
I suppose the phrase can use both of those definitions, and still hold the same meaning.
fruit17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look at your privilege. LOOK AT IT
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And even then it doesn't make any sense. The whole point of those arguments is you can never rid yourself of your privilege but then they ask you to set it aside? It's just setting someone up to be "wrong" of you can't ever not be a member of this group so therefor you will never understand what you can't understand.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:39:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think as long as you consider the other person's opinion it shouldn't be a problem. Like take homophobia. Everyone is allowed to have an opinion on it, but we should be paying more attention to the person who has actually experienced homophobia, because they're going to have more experience on the matter.
They are disadvanted/were wronged for having experienced homophobia. If you say I'm "privileged" for having not experienced discrimination that suggests that that experience is baseline, which it isn't and shouldn't.be considered as such. I'm not a nobleman for not having experienced homophobia, I just haven't been wronged or disadvantaged by it. Privilege is something better than normal, not a default state of being that everyone should be allotted and those who aren't allotted the privilege are simply underprivileged, no those people are actually victims. Hence why "check your privilege" is racist/sexist in both directions. It's also just condescending.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:14:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, as long as you let people speak who have been discriminated against without overpowering the conversation because you think your opinion matters more than theirs, then they shouldn't have an issue and are just trying to cause more conflict.
Another thing people do is invalidating experiences. If you say, "Racism/sexism/homophobia doesn't exist anymore" while people are trying to explain to you how it still does and you just refuse to listen because you can't possibly be wrong, then you need too reevaluate if you're having these conversations to learn more and have a serious discussion or to stroke your own ego.
Not necessarily what it means. It doesn't mean your demographic is incapable of understanding something. It just means that, due to being part of a demographic, you may not understand the experience of people outside that demographic.
I can gaurantee you that for every person saying "check your privelege", there's an asshole claiming that racism and sexism literally don't exist.
No, I don't think so. I mean, I suppose you can hamfist any phrase into being racist/sexist, but I don't think forcing someone to acknowledge they belong to a privileged group is either.
It is basically intended to counteract the bias that coats everyone's views to some extent and that is our inability to fully understand just how other people's life experiences differ from our own. Specifically, with regard to race or sex. I have a coworker who is black and my age, and things he experiences living in the same place I do are vastly different from anything I've ever experienced, for example.
Anyway, it's intended to be used to just understand that you sometimes can't really understand the problems different groups of people tend to have when you have lived your whole life looking at the world through a slightly differently tinted glass. It doesn't mean that you are illegible to comment and it is nothing to take offense to. It also doesn't mean you are overall a privileged person. Just that you belong to a group that typically has more privileges than other alternate groups you could have found yourself in.
Well the thing is, I've never seen the term actually used in a conversation so I don't know what the people who use it think. Everytime I've seen it come up, it has been a meta debate or people mocking the term and deriding those who use it.
Like much of the online discussion around feminism, it's hard to tell if people have a legitimate complaint or if feminism is just so hated that it is being criticized at every turn.
it's hard to tell if people have a legitimate complaint or if feminism is just so hated that it is being criticized at every turn.
I think the problem is that we have people saying that the hateful people who are often called the "vocal minority" are all that we see. Given incidents like the College Union officer saying killallmen and getting nothing but support, some of the awful things feminists have said and done (promoting actual genocide, shooting someones dog for opening a men's shelter, pulling fire alarms at an MRA meeting about male suicide) it's not hard to see why feminism as a political ideology is losing ground. The thing is, it doesn't stand for or represent equal rights for women anymore. To more and more people every day it stands for hateful ivory tower academics who are dogmatically following a cult built around finding problems where there are none.
And it sucks, because there are actual problems that Feminism could be focusing on, and they're not. If you want to see what it's like dealing with feminism today look no further than a reply to my top comment that called me a rapist. That's what self identified feminists do now. I think it's time for a different movement that isn't steeped in "right-think".
I think all of those things are at the fault of a vocal minority. I mean, anyone I've spoken to online or otherwise has nothing but disdain for any of these acts. I don't know where these people are who support it and, if there are a sizable number of them, why they aren't encountered more often.
Well the fire alarm thing is becoming a regular occurrence apparently, it's happened several times. And third wave feminism has taken over from second wave equity feminism to the point where Christina Hoff Sommers regularly gets called an anti-feminist. A lot of these people are in college, either as students or faculty and you don't run into them much outside of that.
That being said, they still effect people's lives. I don't know if you know anything about Gamer Gate, but opposed to the running narrative the only group to have successfully run any women out of gaming are the antis who all identify as feminists.
Some of their big names, like Randi Harper, are serial harassers and generally just awful people. They actively condone doxxing people, sent one guy and his family syringes with...something...in them, have gotten people fired, gotten women thrown out of an expo for not agreeing with them, and have blamed Gamer Gate for things completely unrelated. Not to mention one of their worst accusations (bomb threat) was actually one of them, then of course some of them called in bomb threats in DC. All the while swearing they weren't trying to censor or get rid of games, which they've tried to do at every opportunity.
You want to see these people and why feminism has such a shit name right now? Look at the actions of the people who constantly represent it on social media.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:44:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:33:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you're right, as a white able bodied man i know EXACTLY how it's like to live life as a disabled black woman and anyone who assumes otherwise must be racist, sexist and ableist
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
checking your privilege" isn't going to make you understand that womans perspective any better.
And that's exactly what privilege as a concept is not supposed to do. Checking your privilege means acknowledging that there are things you can't understand about someone's life experiences in the same way they can because you haven't lived them. It means not saying shit like "I worked hard from the time I was 16 and now I'm rich, so you can too".
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:15:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would ask them to check it for me b/c obviously I'm not aware of my privilege. This statement assumes that I should be aware and is therefore an insult.
Wow it's not their job to mansplain these things to you!!!
Grunherz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:17:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't make any sense. If it's used in an actual discussion and the person who says it actually knows what it means, then you'd only ever hear it if you didn't actually consider their perspective in the first place.
If it were an actual discussion, where people are listening to each other and respect each other, the phrase "check your privilege" wouldn't get used because it's a condescending and belittling way of trying to shut someone up by saying their opinion is worthless. It also implies that any disagreement on the part of the person being silenced is only because they are racist, sexist, somethingist, or whateverphobic.
Grunherz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You obviously have never been is such a discussion and you also obviously have no idea what it actually means and how it's used. Just because some "look at teh tumblr feminazis lololol" thread on reddit makes you think you do doesn't mean you actually do. When's the last time you were in an actual discussion and can you elaborate how someone was being racist towards you by using this phrase?
I've been in a number of discussions, including a few heated ones, where both sides respected the other even when disagreeing.
If you think it gets used as anything other than a silencing tactic, you're free to give me an example. Find me an example of "check your privilege" being used in a way that is clearly not condescending or belittling, that doesn't have the goal or effect of shutting someone up, and that does not try to paint further disagreement as racist, sexist, homophobic, or whatever.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:32:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, what the fuck does that mean? Maybe I'm old, but I just don't get it and if some punk kid ever told me to "check my privilege" I'd have to escort them out of whatever establishment we're in and then never go back to that establishment since they let ultra-sensitive, over politically correct, play-the-victim type filthy kids in.
fubo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:42:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually really simple. It means "Don't assume that everyone has had the things that you consider ordinary opportunities for a decent life," or "Just because society has been fair to you in a particular way, doesn't mean that it is fair to everyone."
"Privilege" in this sense doesn't mean something that should be taken away from you (like in the nursery-school "TV is a privilege, not a right" sense). It means something that everyone should have, but that as a matter of fact, some people don't have ... yet that the people who do have it take it for granted.
I hate this phrase just because it is such a thought-terminating cliche, and it does nothing to further what could potentially be a thoughtful discussion about societal inequality because it makes a person feel like they're being attacked for just being who they are, or having some thing they don't even understand.
I think the motive behind the phrase was originally sound-- for example, one could advise someone else to check their privilege if, say, I'm a white guy telling a black guy that I've never had a problem with the police, and I don't understand what all the fuss is about. The black guy is going to be like "well, of course not, you and I have completely different experiences with the police," and regardless of the black guy's actual lived experience as a black man in America, the white guy just keeps insisting that that just isn't how it is.
Now people either use it to be shitty brats, or to make fun of people trying to draw attention to divisions in society.
gears32 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:22:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah it's still there"
fruit17 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women angry since their perspective isn't respected because they are female.
Won't respect a man's perspective because they are male.
Makes sense
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:14:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Who cares that the NSA spies on us, I've got nothing to hide"
Translation: "I'd rather risk my kid getting sick and dying, and spreading disease to others, than my kid be autistic because I think I know more about medicine than people whose job it is to know about medicine."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how Elon Musk got started. Created Zip2, sold it. Helped create PayPal, sold it. Created SpaceX and joined Tesla with the money he got from those past companies. It's a legitimate occupation if you can do it right.
o_oli ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:30:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thing is I bet when asked he just gave his current actual job title...like "ceo of paypal" or whatever.
Hannyu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:54:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats possible, I really don't know. Was just saying some people actually are trade entrepreneurs.
blaine64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you post this same thing 4 times using 3 different accounts?
Hannyu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:12:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. My phone may have tripped out and multi-posted. I've had it do that in the past, but I usually fry to catch them and delete the extras, sorry.
Staks ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:19:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer answering: '' I am in the "insert business here" business" and move on. Entrepreneur sounds pretentious unless you have at least a few successes under your belt imo.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
read: Proprietor of something valued at absolutely nothing.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:04:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Arbonne sales rep.
gsr142 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:54:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Arbonne, amway, herbalife. All the same
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:21:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Well I was once an entrepeneur and describing your occupation can get complicated and awkward. I mean what do you say?
I remember thinking: Should I say "I'm a salesman"? "I'm a programmer"? "I'm a designer"? I mean I did all of those things, and yet if I said one or another, that would have been misleading.
I think people don't like when someone say this because it sounds like they're implying they're important and wealthy. But that's an idea that forms in the head of the listener, not necessarily the idea that is being conveyed.
I feel like that's how people view me as a freelancer. It just seems like a fancy way of saying "unemployed," even though I actually work.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man they're trying to start up a business. I do understand if it's a load of shit but if they're actually putting time and money into it I understand.
Scaraban ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The CEO of my company fucking loves using that, completely non-ironic. I mean he is, but the tone he uses when he says it makes me associate it in my mind with the type of person you mean.
Hannyu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually true for some people. They make a living starting up businesses and then selling them off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually true for some people. They make a living starting up businesses and then selling them off.
repeat- ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:44:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
That does not apply to literally anything in my life, nor will it ever. It doesn't even make sense.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:11:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It applied to some things. Break bones and the heal stronger, get through severe depression and you will be stronger emotionally. HIV on the other hand...
I think this phrase might apply for some things in life but you are right about the vast majority.
Zemogray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
This should really only apply to saiyans.
Hanta3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll build character."
If by that you mean it will make me hate the world even more than I already do, then sure, why not.
notjoeyf ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:11:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't hate black people, I hate niggers." I'm not even black, but prepare to be on my shit list.
When someone says "literally" in literally every sentence
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
In my books, you can use it as much as you want as long as you are using it is the classical sense and not this informal bullshit definition.
I will lose a lot of respect for you if you fuck this up.
It's hyperbole. "Literally" just adds to the emphasis. You'd have to really be socially inept to think they were being serious. Or do you also get annoyed when someone says their luggage "weighs a ton?"
And the whole point of using "hyperbole" is to exaggerate in a way that's not meant to be taken seriously. A ton is a specific unit of measurement equal to 2,000 lbs but people also use it to refer to anything heavy as a form of exaggeration. The hyperbolic use of a word doesn't need to match it's dictionary definition. Also, while I disagree with putting the hyperbolic use of a word in the dictionary, it is there. So there's no reason for me to apologize.
If you were to say "I'm so hungry that I could eat a mountain", then that would be a hyperbole. Saying "literally" in a sentence is not a hyperbole because it's meant to say that you actually can do that. It's not meant as an exaggeration.
Edit: Does the meaning of the word "hyperbole" hold more power than the meaning of the word "literally"? That is the question to ask. Unfortunately I don't have an answer.
I'm pretty late to this but the one that does it for me is when an adult walks into a room that is full of kids and they happened to all be on the phones and the adult HAS to fucking say, "look how many people are on their phones in this room! I remember back in my day we actually had to socialize with each other. Your generation has it so easy." While in the meantime they are on their phones just as often as any of us. Like look there is nothing to do right now, and I have a world of games, information, and entertainment in my pocket. And you are putting me down for using it. You just happened to fucking walk in when I pulled it out it's not like I've been staring at it all day. It's fucking ridiculous just get over the fact that kids have phones and we use them. If you were in our position you would do the exact same fucking thing.
I'm with you too, mostly because it used to be an urban colloquialism until corporations co-opted it to sell shit. Same thing they did in the 90s with phat, it totally destroyed a serviceable piece of American slang just to move some t-shirts.
LexiLucy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
UGH bae is the worst thing ever! I never even like calling my partners babe. Always thought it was weird that everyone has the same nickname for their bf/gf. Like, be a little more creative people.
[deleted] ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 16:27:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Edit: From what I've heard in other users' responses, it seems like I really got the wrong impression from the BLM movement. I was hearing from a pretty vocal minority that didn't really reflect the true diversity of the group. I'm actually pretty happy to be wrong on this count.
Also, for the people who believe "all lives matter," axearm linked me to a very well-put post on the subject explaining the other side of that phrase.
In any case, I'm going to leave what I originally said here, because removing it would be confusing to people who come across this post in the future
I think the problem people have with the Black Lives Matter movement is that it's very exclusionary to other people. During the civil rights movement, blacks protested their mistreatment, but whites joined in too. BLM has specifically said that white people shouldn't be allowed to join their movement, and some have even criticized whites protesting police brutality.
I get that the idea is that since I'm not the target of racism, I don't have the same perspective, but I don't need to be black to understand that racism in the police force is disgusting and to want it to stop. Excluding whites from the movement just polarizes the issue and pushes away people who would otherwise support it.
ZebZ ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 17:44:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BLM is like Occupy. There's no leadership and nobody knows wtf they are doing, so nothing beneficial gets done. This leaves you with some people being exclusionary while others are fine with non-black support, and with a bunch of idiots charging Bernie Sanders at a rally tarnishing the whole movement.
They also got a huge amount of negative press towards their movement, the whole of which they do not represent. I felt it was inappropriate for for them to do what they did, but apparently that makes me a racist, according to people on facebook.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:22:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It did get negative press and it was inappropriate, but I'm not sure they much cared. I suppose they figured that if they got a candidate to support racial equality seriously, the temporary hit to BLM was worth it.
You should listen to Malcom X sometime. He makes a good case against letting white people join movements for black people. It would be like a Frenchman joining the Viet Minh.
Treysef ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't Malcolm X eventually get over this once he left the Nation of Islam? I believe he started to work with civil rights leaders and dropped the separation of races stuff while still pushing for self-determination.
Nope. He had worked with other civil rights leaders before, and allowed whites to donate to his new "Muslim Mosque inc." That he had started, but his ideology was still black nationalism.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So because they stand up to some white leaders who are racist, no white guys allowed?
Yes, correct. Part of the black community's problem right now is that it relies too heavily on a society that's majority white, and serves the culture of white people more than it does that of black people, because as we all know white people and black people have a separate and distinct culture. So lots of black movements do not allow white people due to that reason, since it would be ridiculous to try and have black people become self sufficient and stop relying so heavily on whites for jobs and income while allowing white people to participate in that movement. It would be silly.
So, saying this from the perspective of someone who happens to be white, white people should not be angry when they aren't allowed to join in on protests for black people.
Another example is perfectly shown in the the Gil-Scott Heron poem (I guess it could be called a poem) Comment #1. Which is about the so-called Rainbow Conspiracy where the Students for a Democratic Society worked with the Black Panthers and Young Lords. He is talking about the SDS, which is majority white.
"He is fighting for legalized smoke, or lower voting age
Less lip from his generation gap and fucking in the street
Where is my parallel to that?
All I want is a good home and a wife and a children
And some food to feed them every night"
So basically, white people have other things to worry about, and it's "rude" I guess you could say to join a movement that has nothing to do with you. If you care about black people in the United States and would like to see them do better, respect their wishes and don't be rude and question them when you have nothing to do with what they want.
One of the reasons there's fear and mistrust of other races is the difference in culture and hostility by groups that would rather stay insulated from others. By advocating a more insular black community you're advocating a segregated future that will breed even more animosity between races. If you want a culture that has no conflict on the basis of race, integration would be a more peaceful and enriching solution for everyone involved. The reason MLK was so successful was because he preached that we were all brothers and sisters, not separate but equal groups that want nothing to do with each other. Everyone will question people who wish to separate themselves from the predominant culture.
And there lies your issue. The predominant culture that subjugated theirs for hundreds of years.
We've had integration for more than 40 years now and blacks are still poor, living in ghettos, being discriminated against, and being shot by the police. Integration sure does seem like a success for the black community now doesn't it? How would you feel if another race were the ones who owned the businesses and controlled the government?
It's not necessarily on the basis of it being "another race" and that that's inherently bad, but it's that blacks have to rely on whites, as we're the ones that are in control of society. And unfortunately, unless there is a change in the way society and the economy is structured, it will still be a problem. And I'd be willing to show solidarity with any groups that are heading in that direction. So basically, changing the economy to be more inclusive and democratic would solve the issue, but it is my opinion that this would substantially help black people especially, as they would no longer rely on whites and would have just as much say in the way their lives go as whites. Black Pride and Black Nationalist groups have that idea in mind, although most of them don't exactly see it the exact same way I do, and many would like to have their own society, where I feel that integration would work in an optimal situation like the one I described.
But you can't say integration has failed since integration never really happened. Society is still incredibly segregated today, with like you're saying, many racial ghettos.
When you talk about society relying on whites, part of it (albeit not very much of it) is simply because whites make up the majority of the population, and the fact that government will exist to serve the majority will not change.
To me, cultural mixing, homogenization and acceptance are much more important that who or which race controls the government. The only way to truly solve the issues of minorities is for cultures and interests to mix and intermingle, creating something greater than themselves. That way the majority and minorities in the US can truly get along, no matter who is in power.
I do agree with the BLM and related movements, even if they don't see it this way, since at the end of the day, any movement that advocates for equality will at the end of the day, result in the same type of cultural mixing. I know that they really want a basic quality of life and to be treated like humans, and they deserve that whether or not their culture is distinct.
However, I do believe that cultural homogenization is good for everybody involved. The culture never dissappears, but instead extends much further than it ever could have, across a tapestry of shared humanity. A tapestry greater than that of shared ancestory, ethnicity, nationality or race. The culture no longer adds to the human experience of just a few, but to the experience of the many.
Lots42 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 10:42:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your bolded stuff is extremely racist.
supcaci ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:55:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BLM has specifically said that white people shouldn't be allowed to join their movement, and some have even criticized whites protesting police brutality
Gonna need sources for that. I know loads of white people who attend BLM actions, etc. Also, there's not really anyone who would be in a position to hand down such an edict for the entire movement, so I'm very curious where that impression is coming from.
I'm very curious where that impression is coming from.
It's probably people who heard about the Bernie Sanders thing without actually bothering to watch the video.
The protesters at that rally weren't protesting Bernie Sanders. They opened up their speech by saying they "welcomed" him to their city, and made zero comments about Bernie Sanders beyond that.
no idea where you've gotten this information from...i've been a part of several black lives matter protests in DC/MD and people of all different backgrounds were very encouraged to join in.....what is not encouraged is having non-black people dominating a movement about treating black people fairly. for example, it's looked down upon if a bunch of white people start talking over black people at a BLM protest/demonstration, but of fucking course white people (and anyone) is invited to fight for the betterment of their fellow humans...the fight must center around black people, though. which shouldn't need to be emphasized, but here we are.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:36:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not exclusionary...It goes without saying that white lives matter, because white lives have mattered for so long that to say so is declaring the obvious. Black lives, on the other hand, have seemingly declined in value, particularly in the eyes of poor black communities with respect to the, generally, white police structure.
As such, "Black lives matter" isn't used to reduce the importance of other groups' lives, but to elevate black lives to the equal standing it should have, and seemingly hasn't had, for quite some time.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:44:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not talking about the "all lives matter" bullshit. I understand that the point of the movement is to show that blacks aren't treated as if they matter.
What I'm saying is that telling two-thirds of the population that they can't help your cause and join your protests and voice support is not a very good way to forward your movement. That is exclusionary, and very adversarial, which is, I think, one of the big reasons why so many people oppose it.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:44:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of which you'd be right if it were true. A very small, but vocal, group in the movement don't think non -blacks have no voice in the matter. That's not the majority of the movement at all.
Most have the sense to realize it's a broad social discussion that needs to be had between all parties.
Don't let your confirmation bias let you think a handful of idiots are representative of the whole movement.
FiddyFo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:31:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:35:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That one loud-mouthed racist doesn't speak for an entire group...
Even a handful of loud-mouthed racists don't speak for an entire group...
If that's the logic you want to go with, tho, the black guy that's coming to the cameraman's defense at the end is just as good a representation...
FiddyFo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see the group trying to do something to get away from that kind of attitude. Also, handful my ass it was the majority of them man.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:39:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see the group trying to do something to get away from that kind of attitude.
I dont see white people doing anything to get away from their racist attitudes.
FiddyFo ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 18:20:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the old "White people rawr rawr" bullshit with no actual substantial statement made.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:40:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because everyone else needs to keep their crazies in check except white people right?
FiddyFo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, but you made it seem as if all white people are racist and aren't doing anything to stop it.
And if you're going to try to make the comparison between this and BLM and the racist sect of BLM just don't. It doesn't work.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:38:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At one small rally...
FiddyFo ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I had an organization and part of that organization was saying "all mexicans go to the back"
I sure as hell would come out and say no that's not okay. I haven't seen that at all though. Which sucks because I really do support the BLM movement but stuff like this is what harms it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:50:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you'd be right to say it's not okay, because it isn't.
But to label an entire movement as exclusionary, and in the process implying it's fundamentally racist because of that exclusion, simply due to a relative few belligerent people isn't okay, either.
FiddyFo ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 22:15:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never labeled the whole group that way. I labeled the people in the video that way. But I see your point. I just think that BLM should somehow put their foot down against hypocritical shit like that.
I think black lives matter. I think every life matters. Yet, as much as I agree that some police go to far, I would like to see this group spread their message in inner city neighborhoods where black people are killing each other wholesale for "disrespecting", over YouTube rap videos, for being on the wrong block at the wrong time, and on and on. And killing and/disabling children and any other unfortunate in the path of their bullets.
Are you an apologist, a blamer, or a victim? Is it out of touch to wonder why the loud voices don't address their own peers and children. Or is their behavior someone elses fault? There is no denial on my part that there is police brutality and profiling.I get it that the Black Lives Matter movement wishes to address that and I don't disagree. But why are there not strong voices getting the attention of gang members dying young by the thousands? And it's glorified. Where is the outcry?
Go to YouTube and search Dead Chicago Rappers 2015. Many were killed because they insulted a rival gang member. I live in a heavily gang populated neighborhood. I am not afraid that someone will shoot me intentionally, just possibly catching a stray. A 16 yo was shot to death at 2 pm recently. Right in front of an elementary school. 2 blocks away. But shit - don't stop and frisk. IT'S RACIST. When little white college boys and girls with made up sympathetic outrage start packing and shooting ,they will be profiled too.
BLM has specifically said that white people shouldn't be allowed to join their movement, and some have even criticized whites protesting police brutality.
A) That is lame B) the BLM movement has many opinions, and I don't think all members would claim that whites should be excluded. It's like saying Reddit thinks X. Some people on reddit do, and some don't, but even if it is a majority, it doesn't speak of all people.
And that's for me, the main reason I avoid any movement with a biased name, because some people are going to be pricks, and it's not worth figuring out which it is.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I think I gave the impression that I'm one of the "all lives matter" people. I'm not, I'm just annoyed that not only is a movement I agree with telling me I'm not allowed to agree with it because I'm white, but they're shooting themselves in the foot by saying so.
I know all BLM people aren't excluding white people, but it's enough of them that it's the impression they're giving to the public. Why should I voice support for them when it will get me criticism from both whites and blacks?
That is a good post though. I'm saving it for future reference.
Edit: Speak of the devil, a friend of mine just posted a "white lives matter" picture on facebook. His stuff has been getting gradually more racist, but I think this is one of the worst yet, next to that one about how police brutality doesn't exist.
Callyopi ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These are the same people who interrupted an event and refused to let Bernie Sanders give his speech, even though he's probably the only current presidential candidate that is actively trying to support them. They are so blinded by their anger, they are actually hiring their own cause instead of helping.
axearm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:03:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
All of them? Everyone in the BLM movement? Of course not, the fringe of the movement did that (if not people simply acting under the guise to create mischief), just like the fringe of the reddit community sent death thready to Ellen Pao, not in fact 'Reddit".
If you define a group by what some of the people do/say, it's easy to frame the entire group as negative.
Callyopi ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say all of them did it. However, my point still stands about the majority (not all) letting their anger dictate their actions. This goes for most protest groups.
axearm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I guess we disagree whether it is the minority vs majority.
It is my opinion that a vocal minority is often the group that cause the most problems and because of that, movements are generally defined by that minority.
Most of these 1% marches, etc. are exactly the same. 8,000 peaceful marchers, 50 anarchist and old fashion thieves hiding under the cover of civil disobedience, with a different agenda or motivation (ie propaganda by the deed).
This is the challenge of every movement and what makes the civil rights movement in the 60s so unusual. They were so effective at policing their own demonstrations and marches and ejecting those that would disrupt them with tactics they didn't approve of.
Naggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:07:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So tell me, what would be the point in them pulling this stunt at a Donald Trump rally? Any other candidate would've taken that as an opportunity for a joke and a remark about "the good ni--black people". Trump probably would've gone so far as to call them "uppity". His supporters would've been worse.
Instead, they tried it at a Sanders rally, where they hoped people would be receptive towards their message. And Sanders was. He listened and he responded to them. His supporters, unfortunately, had their white middle class sensibilities so bruised by these black people speaking out of turn that they were not as receptive as Sanders himself.
When you're being excluded from something because you're white, congratulations, you've been the target of racism.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not all BLM members are like this. It's very disorganized, so people like that are included, but there is no formal voice making demands. I wouldn't take anything anyone says in that movement as the opinion of the whole group. If you look at some people who are protesting as a part of the movement they welcome other races. Some dont. They need a leader.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people have been telling me that, and I think I might have just been hearing from the vocal minority that says "no white people." TBH I'm glad I was wrong on this count.
psiphre ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 17:03:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
stay in your lane, shitlord
E_DM_B ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always add a /s.
psiphre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah no doubt. goddamn.
Nadril ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:33:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Where's the outrage about this?!"
Fucking shit this annoys me so much. "So many people outraged over 1 lion, but XX Military personal commit suicide every day and no one cares!". That's an actual thing that was on my facebook.
It's like people are unable to understand the concept of discussing a recent event that has happened.
I was on a Facebook post about the fundraising special edition Cecil the Lion Beanie Baby, and there were NUMEROUS comments along the lines of "where's the beanie baby for all the abortions?? What about those babies?? Raise money for them!!" What.
That's the problem I've seen with people trying to justify people like Mike Brown's deaths. They keep saying "But he robbed a store!" as if robbing a store makes you deserving of death. People make bad decisions all the time, but IMO unless that decision involves taking the life or dignity of another individual, there is no excuse for punishing them so severely.
He also assaulted a police officer and tried to grab the officer's weapon, but let's conveniently leave that part out.
Yeah, if you attack a police officer and put them in a position where they have a good chance of ending up dead, they're going to gun you down every time. That's how it goes.
Where's the proof that this ever happened? For a site obsessed with evidence, I always see this shit getting spouted with no source other than Darren Wilson.
The autopsy that showed gunpowder residue on his fingers, maybe? Which doesn't happen unless your hand is on a gun? The blood splatter that was inside the squad car, which could only happen if Brown was next to or inside the car door/window. Not to mention, the photographs that show Officer Wilson was assaulted.
Whether you want to believe Officer Wilson or not, the evidence leans towards his story being true, and basing your skepticism on literally zero credible eyewitnesses is flat out ignorance.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have to have held a gun to get gunpowder on your fingers. You could, I don't know, be shot and get your body covered on the stuff.
Except gunshot residue only travels 3-5 feet, and that would mean that Brown was, you guessed it, right in Officer Wilson's face. You would only get residue on your hands if your hands are near a gun when it discharges.
You're being beyond willfully ignorant of what happened in Ferguson. To make excuses for Brown when all of the evidence points to him being a cop-assaulting, attempted cop-killing thief makes you, and the entire movement you're supporting, look fucking stupid.
There are plenty of people who are being targeted unfairly for the color of their skin, and those are the people you need to put in the limelight. Not this kid.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:01:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
So, what would he be doing near Wilson if the "other" testimony said he was nowhere near the car door? Do you have an alternate theory?
how is what I said an excuse?
Because you addressed the point of "he was reaching for the cop's gun" with, "he didn't have to be near the gun, he was shot!" That is 100% an excuse for why there was gunshot residue on his hands.
I never said I supported the BLM movement
Right, because Michael Brown is the only person the BLM movement has ever talked about. Better yet, he's the only black victim of police violence.
You brought other victims of police violence and the BLM movement in a comment explicitly regarding Mike Brown and only Mike Brown. So, yeah, that's a safe assumption to make.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on how far away from the gun you are. And let's not forget all the other evidence presented
I want it noted that I thought the Mike Brown shit was bad, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut I got aggravated as fuck when people say he did nothing wrong. He did do something wrong, he just didn't deserve to die over it.
so assaulting a police officer and trying to take his gun might not be worthy of dying, shit man, i dont think having cancer means you deserve to die.. but the reality of the situation is that you WILL die if you do that shit.. if you fight a cop like that, you should expect to die, people should expect you to die. That is how it works.. Did he deserve to die? No.. No he didnt, most people dont deserve to die but they do anyway.. deserve is such a dumb word because it's subjective.. did I deserve to get fired? No, but i did, and the people who fired me thought so.. who cares what I deserve or not.. Did Mike Brown deserve to get shot? When you fight a cop, you kind of have to expect it. He was an idiot and died like an idiot. I am sure his mom thought he was the sweetest little boy but we are all sweet little children at one point in our life, and then you fight a cop and get your head blasted in. such is life.
No Michael Brown's life doesn't not matter because he robbed a store. His life was taken because he assaulted an officer and reached for his weapon and then was killed in self defense.
It's not black lives matter or all lives matter, it's INNOCENT lives matter.
Except that, statistically, a black person is more likely to be killed in suspection for the same crime, so yes, apparently the legal system does need to be told that BLACK lives matter.
Yeah, no shit Sherlock. The fact that you can't understand why we even have to use the term "black lives matter" is fucked up.
To be fair, this is not a black and white issue. ๐. If they don't understand, then educate them, that is the role of an activist which is exactly what the blacklivesmatter movement is or should be about. Sure if they don't understand it then they may be a little ignorant or naive, but if you can't accept that not all people have the same knowledge and experience as you do then you are also ignorant and naive.
And the context of "Black Lives Matter" is hundreds of years of discrimination against black lives, and a society in which you are more likely to be arrested and/or killed by the police for the same crime as a white person.
If I say "Jane car is blue", that doesn't mean I'm saying Jane's car is the only car which is blue. Likewise, when people say "Black Lives Matter", you'd have to be an astounding idiot to think anyone is claiming black lives are the only ones which matter.
And my statement about Jane's car mentions a specific type of car. If you remove all context from the statement, it's a statement of fact, not a comparison.
That's not what Black Lives Matter is about. It's protesting and trying to stop black peoples from being unfairly arrested, brutalized by police etc. It's essentially being anti-police brutality.
Yeah! It's like, everyone remembers Susan B. Anthony, but no one remembers my great great grandfather who was campaigning at the same time to stop having the vote taken away from men! Obvously, he did just as much as she did, so they should be treated equally! /s
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 16:59:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely disagree with falconVaulter, but I do think that if you ask the people that say "God bless America" whether God should bless iran or pakistan or north korea, or france, they'd say no.
psiphre ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 17:03:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
didn't you hear? there's a "too" implied at the end that makes it ok
Nadril ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:36:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're getting downvoted because you said something stupid.
Just because you are saying one thing matters does not automatically mean that it is the only thing that matters.
That's why they followed it up with the actually explanation; that that person's interpretation contained an irrational assumption: that the statement was saying "only black lives matter".
Nadril ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You realize I followed that line up with an explanation, right?
I can fairly safely assume they misread my comment or disagree with me.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:39:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, no shit Sherlock. The fact that you can't understand why we even have to use the term "black lives matter" is fucked up.
If it wasn't called "black lives matter," this wouldn't happen. The name implies that there's a large movement of people that don't care about other people that are black, when I think very few people feel that way.
If you think the statement is so common sense, can you explain why black people are more likely to be killed by police for the same crime?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:07:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The name implies that there's a large movement of people that don't care about other people that are black, when I think very few people feel that way.
Keep in mind it isn't the police saying all lives matter, it's just people. What you said has about nothing to do with what I said and idk what you're talking about when you say "If you think the statement is so common sense".
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:20:26 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yes the are, which still has little to nothing to do with what I'm saying. It is not the police saying "white lives matter" it's just regular people. What I'm saying has nothing to do with the fact that the movement is about police violence. Everything you are saying has had nothing to do with what I've said. You're even putting words in my mouth.
The name implies that there's a large movement of people that don't care about other people that are black, when I think very few people feel that way.
So, since you don't want me "putting words in your mouth", I'll ask you instead: is your contention that the police do not care less for the well being of black people? Or is it that you do not think the police constitute a group that is larger than "very few people".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:15 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it is not, but I see what you're saying now. I communicated my point poorly. I meant to say that, from the perspective of a white person who is not a cop, BLM feels like it's aimed at everyone who is white instead of just police, when BLM is actually going after police afaik.
"As a taxpayer..." and "No offense, but..." Or if they ever even once bring up their tax dollars.
I've yet to meet anyone that has said either phrase that wasn't an asshole.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:07:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any time anyone prefaces their sentence with, "As a...".
"As a man,..."
"As a single mother,..."
"As someone with black friends,..."
"As a feminist,..."
I guarantee a miasma of self-serving bullshit will be spewed forth.
adreztia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This along with everyone on Reddit that prefaces their post with 'woman here', 'doctor here' or 'am guy/girl, can confirm' literally makes me cringe every time.
I mean, I hate it in the majority of contexts when it's used poorly, but sometimes the OP is asking for that information. I wouldn't say it makes me cringe every time.
adreztia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:06:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I'd rather it be phrased like 'I'm a woman/doctor/man' instead of 'blank here' and a lot of the time I see it the OP doesn't ask anything to do with their profession or gender.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:35:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase that brags about how poorly they treat their significant other and how they just take the abuse. There is a woman in work who does nothing but tell people how she shits on her husband constantly and despite him earning shit loads more than her she spends his money and he just sucks it up. I hate her with a passion. I would happily run her down in the car park if I thought I could get away with it.
The worst thing is, her man could probably do a hell of a lot better, she is fuck ugly, constantly pisses and moans and acts like she knows fucking everything.
If you are reading this J, go die in a fucking fire you horrible excuse for a human being.
Edited to remove first name in case I got Banhammered.
"Can I see a picture of your sisters feet and toes? I'll pay"
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:13:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, all I'm saying is..."
This phrase (at least in the American southeast) usually precedes some kind of idiotic personal opinion, or an outright lie. It's typically deployed at the end of an argument by the losing party in a last-ditch effort to make a point.
My mother is pretty much the master of this little trick. Heard this weekend:
"Well, all I'm saying is, my Aunt Rena wore high heels every day when she was young, and she ended up having both of her legs amputated."
Note: Aunt Rena developed Type-2 Diabetes 30 years after her fancy shoe wearin' days were over, and lost her legs as the direct result of refusing to cooperate with any of her doctors, or follow any kind of diet or medicine regime.
tb00n ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:05:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being called "friend" (or anything similar) by someone I've never met before.
Calling somebody "edgy" or joking about trigger words.
Also trying to pass off "this offends me" as being "triggered". No... just no.
raeded ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:08:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's just me, but I cannot stand when people toot their own horns on Facebook with "look how far I've come" and "I am SO proud of myself (for working at home, in my parents house, in a pyramid scheme)" and "look how great I am!!" -- come on people. Let others compliment you, not boast about yourself constantly. And on another note, whenever someone does a good deed such as helping the homeless, giving money, or whatever- but the only reason they do it is to post it on Facebook and Instagram to get some like. Ugh.
"I ain't done nothing" or "I don't know nothing." These are double negatives, and cancel the intended meaning. For example, in the first case, you just told me you have NOT done nothing, implying that you have, in fact, done SOMETHING. In the second case, you're saying you do NOT know nothing, which also implies that you must know SOMETHING.
>Implying I can just walk down to Target or the thrift store and just buy a significant other. Or that I have any interest in doing so in the first place.
I feel like I'm the only one who was happy to have a customer speak to my manager when I worked in retail. People were much more likely to take "no" for an answer when someone with presumed authority was telling them so. Of course, that didn't always happen, but it made the customer's problem my manager's problem, instead of mine.
jtl357 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word derp made my really awesome school trip extremely irritating. Kids who were raised not knowing how to control their voices were just shouting it out for literally no reason other than because they thought it was funny.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where did derp even come from? I don't remember it being a thing until like 3 years ago.
Can you not do other things while hating something? That takes up all of your time and energy? Like, I hate child rapists but that's not an activity. I can spend all my time hating them.
Well the discussion happened yesterday but if you really still care I'll explain. I'm using child rapists because they are (I hope) universally hated by everyone. This highlights the fact that you can hate something while not spending time or effort on that thing. You don't sit in a corner all day hating child rapists.. You go about your day like normal, but the child rapist hate is always there.
It doesn't matter what example was used, I'm not comparing the two things. I was showing how hating takes no effort.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree, but I don't care enough to argue about it.
I don't think you realise how much time i have on my hands to hate stupid shit.
SexyOAG ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:00:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I am a little anxious around people and when I meet someone new, I'm constantly thinking that I'm gonna say the sentence they hate the most and they're gonna hate me forever. It's horrible.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Great idea.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:14:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just ignore them. They believe that somehow there were 2 human beings and that lineage spawned every human on earth without severe genetic deficiencies. (Among other wacko shit).
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:35:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God 1st. Family 2nd. Friends 3rd."
The amount of time I've seen that phrase on Tinder, literally verbatim as is above... It makes me want to say "I can't even..." which then makes me even more angry for even thinking about saying it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, God's just trying to get some NSA fucking on the down low, okay? Now tits or GTFO! And no fatties!
I'm one of those things and even I hate this. Not going to say which because it doesn't fucking matter and it also sort of sounds like I'm trying to say "shut up not all X are like that!!!!1!". None of those things are important for people to know unless you're doing something involving food or exercise
Do you have a moment to talk about the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:38:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't debunk an entire religion and thousands of years of tradition without citing some sources there, bub. This is Redditโnot your angsty, grab-ass undergrad philosophy class.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username. Coincidentally I hate this phrase when other redditors use it.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:09:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can be a real bitch" followed by a chortle.
Seriously? People are proud of this? It just makes me instantly want to avoid you.
Daisy_W ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not even gay, but anyone who tries to argue that homosexuality is a sin makes me completely disregard all of their opinions.
Even if you're super religious, you should be able to understand that not all of the bible is the word of God, and that it is okay to question pieces of it. If you actually read the bible, you see that there is literally one line in the entire thing about homosexuality, which says "For a man to lie with a man as a man lies with a woman is an abomination."
This quote is literally on the same page that says "To each shellfish is an abomination." and it is only pages away from "You can take humans as slaves as long as they are from surrounding countries, but do not enslave your fellow Israelite." Any reasonable christian should be able to read this and decide that the entire book of Leviticus was probably not filled with the opinions of god, but that some homophobic slave owner asshole translator inserted his own words and claimed them as God's words a few thousand years ago.
And if you argue that homosexuality is a sin, it tells me that you have never stopped to ask yourself about the difference between right and wrong, moral and immoral. If you really consider this question, you start to realize that sins and immoral actions typically have one thing in common; they cause suffering of some sort to some other person. And I use the term 'suffering' very lightly here, because stealing, even if its only $1, is definitely wrong. And the only suffering that that causes is the person you stole from no longer having that dollar. But I will buy reddit gold if anyone can reply to this with a good example of how homosexuality causes suffering to anyone, because I haven't heard one yet.
So the people who argue that it is a sin have proven that they don't think for themselves. They have proven that they were too lazy to figure out what was right v wrong, and that they instead just blindly take this book and everything it says without question, which even a faithful religious person should know not to do.
I don't think your second and third paragraphs are a good response to Christians because a Christian absolutely does not believe that some asshole translator threw in a few of his own words into the Bible. Also, Paul denounces gay activity in the NT which is after the laws of Moses were replaced.
I think a better response to a Christian who hates gays is to point out Matthew 7:4-5 where Christ talks about fixing your own sins first before accusing others, or the story where those people all wanted to kill the adulteress lady and Jesus said "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Because the real message of Jesus is not to determine whether others are sinning or not, it's to love others unconditionally because you know that you received that love when you didn't deserve it.
I understand that it is not what most Christians believe, but I think that might be a bit of fear of questioning the bible rather than them actually believing that 2 men having sex is an immoral action. But questioning the bible is perfectly acceptable, and has been for thousands of years. A bunch of catholics decided that they didn't really believe in following the pope or fasting during lent, so they formed a new group and called themselves 'protestants'. And there are obviously hundreds of smaller divisions and sects within that. I think it should be more acceptable to question what is in it because after a bit of thinking, I believe that more Christians would be okay with tossing out Leviticus (among other books) rather than blindly accepting them.
And the one problem I have against pointing to Matthew 7:4-5 is that it is usually interpreted as "Love the sinner, hate the sin" which is still unacceptable because then people still keep the idea that homosexuals (and other forms of 'sinners') are doing something immoral, and they will try to be your friend while still trying to 'correct' your sinful behavior. In reality, the adulteress is a sinner. Cheating on someone is breaking a promise you made to stay true to them, cheating causes suffering. Homosexuality on the other hand is simply two people who are in love, having consensual sex. There is nothing remotely immoral about it.
I don't want to point to Matthew 7:4-5 because it still allows them to ignore the question of what makes an action right or wrong. People will still take other actions as wrong, without considering why.
What makes an action right or wrong is people's feelings about that action, and at least some of these people must really hate homosexuality. Sure this might be because they were taught to do so, but I am willing to be that a good 90% of most peoples moral feelings are a result of what they were taught as children and how they were raised. But I admire your attitude, appealing to people on their own moral grounds (in this case religious ones) is vastly more respectable then rejecting everything they believe and demanding they accept your views as cannon (as many people are prone to doing when confronted with religiously sourced beliefs they disagree with). It is nice to see reasonable people.
I guess what I still dont get (and I'm hoping you'll try to explain it to me), is how can an action be immoral just because people think it is immoral? If an action doesn't hurt anyone or cause any kind of suffering, what could make it immoral? Either why would God give us these arbitrary rules, or what evil do they some how create in the world that we should avoid doing them; Rules about food, no tattoos, no premarital sex, or sex with birth control?
I don't think that anyone has the right 'not to be offended' so if the only thing that is sinful about an action is that is might offend or gross out some people who choose not to partake, I can't understand how it could be 'wrong'.
Since you asked so politely, lets make a go at it.
Well first off, lets try to think of some modern examples that might appeal to you, me or your average redditor. Consider our notions of privacy and consent, neither of these things inherently cause suffering. If I were to spy on you in secret or take pictures of you sleeping or bathing but never tell or show anyone no suffering is cause, but most people would still agree that it is wrong for me to do so. The very thought of the possibility that someone might be doing that would probably be enough to disturb many of them. Doing things to people without their consent (even if it doesn't cause suffering or even makes them happier in the long run) is generally considered immoral. To chose a lewd example, the notion of someone groping some poor unconscious person at a party, even if no one ever finds out about it is enough to send most people into a moral fit. But it is not the suffering they are outraged over (there would be none if no one ever knew about it) but the violation of consent, the perversity of it, the fact that it feels thoroughly and utterly wrong. Or imagine if I were to slip some drug into the drink of a person who was grieving a dead loved one and that drug made them stop feeling sad. Most people would be horrified at the thought, even though the sadness causes them terrible suffering and they gain nothing by it. The thought of taking a drug and having one's grief over the loss of a loved one cut short prematurely seems (at least to me) revolting.
I'm sure other examples can be thought of besides privacy or consent, but I hope the point is clear. It can be difficult (if not impossible) to justify even many of our modern 'morals' using purely the balance of joy and suffering.
The overall idea being that there are things most people (even reasonable, modern people) seem to value outside of joy and things they hate outside of suffering. Not everyone thinks that joy and pain dictate the purpose of life. There are entire systems of morality built around alternative concepts like freedom or autonomy, consent, truth, piety, tradition, equality, fairness or justice etc. The people who follow these systems feel as strongly about them as your or I do about our own and to an impartial observer there is no way to judge who of us is right except by looking at their own feelings and seeing which system is closer to them.
Maybe you are not like this, and have no hangups about any of the things I mentioned in which case I'm not sure I can make you understand. But if you do have these 'hangups' look at them and imagine them applying to different things. Imagine how they might look to someone who did not have them, or had altogether different ones.
Why God would give a million different values to all the different people with no convincing way to differentiate between the lot of them I am sure I do not know. Then again I also do not know why the gravitational constant is 6.67384 ร 10-11 m3 kg-1 s-2 (thank you google) or why like charges repel, but I don't get hung up on any of that. Maybe its just best to play the hand you're dealt and not think too hard about what people should do or think.
In any case I am sure that a thorough and reasonable sociological/anthropological/psychological explanation can be provided for how(given our circumstances) we have the morals we have and how our ancestors (given their circumstances) came to have all those seemingly arbitrary moral rules which seem so dated to us today. The explanation would probably play on the expected utility of these arbitrary values; showing that a society or person having them will on average be more successful than one that/who does not.
Please understand that I am asking this question with sincerity, as it might come off as offensive, but I do not mean it to be, I am truly just curious and struggling to see this from your point of view;
Do you truly believe that God would punish you or would not forgive you simply for following the urges with which your body has been instilled, that would hurt nobody else and could even provide happiness in the world?
No single phrase from a person, known or unknown, will make me irreparably angry towards them. Maybe a full conversation, but certainly not just a single phrase.
JxJ0ker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Dank memes"
GioGImic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:05:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bae
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:05:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It can be said different ways but when a girl pretty much says "I know I'm a bitch but I don't care, I love being a bitch"
It's always said by a woman who thinks they're more attractive than they are
cutiebug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:44:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please, if you were really that strong, you wouldn't be declaring that shit. Strong people take action. They don't try to explain or justify their selves. Saying "I'm a strong, independent woman!" is validation and approval-seeking. Only weak people do this because they need other people's opinions to feel good about themselves. It's something a strong person would never do.
'"Everything happens for a reason" or, alternately, "God has a plan for everyone". No it doesn't, and no he doesn't. Take charge of your life, instead of assuming something greater is going to take care of it in the long run.
Jass1995 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. So this.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:26:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like, Like, and Like It's Like, you know kinda like the thing that i like, like that.
"Maybe When He Gets Older" my mom said this to my dad whenever i had a political debate with her then leaves the room smiling. I feel like this is her method of giving up.
"It's because I prayed for it". Yes God didn't interfere in the holocaust or stop Genghis Khan or the bubonic plague but he metaphysically altered the questions on the exam so you could pass the class and get a lucrative job. So did he take away questions from others that would have been right so you could have ones that specifically are related to what you actually studied. Did he increases your memory retention? Maybe instead of talking to fictional characters in your head you should be studying the material, I'm willing to be that may be a bit more effective.
It's especially bad when it's "Everyone please pray and help this poor girl with cancer" like you see on Facebook all the time, NO, how about you stop sitting clasping your hands together talking to yourself and actually DO SOMETHING you fucking asshole, send her a letter in the hospital, visit her, cure fucking cancer, something, anything.
Yeah it's maddening. Makes me realize how stupid we are and how brilliant we are as a species simultaneously. We have geniuses living alongside Neanderthals who speak the same language and own the same technology and have the same voting rights, which they should, but damn that's scary.
"Political correctness is the new censorship." or something like that. There's saying hurtful things in hurtful ways, and then there's being able to laugh at ourselves or have a candid conversation. Usually the kind of people that say the above fall into the first category. I'm Bi; gay jokes, if not just plain hateful, are pretty funny. But if I think of you as an asshat (and let you know how I feel) because you felt the need to make a "joke" about gay people raping everyone, that's not censorship, and I'm not overreacting.
Anyone who decides to call me "boss" I am immediately skeptical of. I feel that "bud" is in the same category, though it's so often used I'm trying to warm up to it so I don't hate too many people.
I told a girl I liked rock music then about two weeks later she said she was going to a concert. I asked who it was and she said it was some chill music and that I wouldn't like it because I like rock music. Bitch, I can only like one type of music? The fuck?
Also, your username is going to become a standard insult in my lexicon.
Yes. This. Omfg. I work from home with some travel, but some of my acquaintances will make comments like this. While they work at a Fucking hotel or Starbucks. It took me two degrees and almost a decade of experience to be able to go to work without showering. Plus, my job is harder than they could imagine. (I know there are harder jobs. But pouring coffee isn't one of them) I earned this!
Also the people who say they "don't care" if they offend people. Don't fucking lie, you live for that shit, and usually the people who say that are the quickest to be offended too.
"I'm proud to be a bitch/asshole, you can't take my honesty, bluntness, etc." Fuck off, there is a difference between honesty and deliberately treating somebody like shit. I've known other honest people who were the nicest and most respectful. Usually, the moral stance of honesty goes in hand with the moral stance of being a human being to somebody. You are just trying to excuse yourself.
"Wouldn't you get BORED?"
"No, you'd definitely want to do something.."
"How could you stand to have your husband support you?"
Fuck other teenage girls that don't support me being a housewife one day.
Honestly I don't want to have a job. The only thing I'm passionate enough to do, willing to do as a legit career, is general surgery. I'm so passionate that I was invited to Envision's National Youth Leadership Forum and attended from late June to early July. While I was there, I met other teenagers interested in medicine. Some were mildly interested and were probably going to have totally different career path, others were as dedicated as me and had their heart sets on medicine.
While I was talking to some of the other teenagers attending near the end of the program, I mentioned that if I was unable to be a general surgeon, that I would instead pursue the life of a house wife. I proceeded to get negative, unsupportive reactions from the girls sitting at the same table as me. They started to talk amongst each other and even sounded passive aggressive angry with me. The one boy sitting with us was just genuinely astonished because he had never heard a girl say such a thing before.
Even if I do end up as a general surgeon, I'm probably going to leave work for a few years after I have children. During that time I will likely house wife, and if I ever run into any of those girls again as an adult woman, I will smear it in their faces.
I will also have a broad selection of cute aprons from Etsy.
Nice! Make your own choices. The original goal of feminism was equality, including the right to choose the lifestyle of a housewife if that was what the woman wanted. So they obviously missed the memo and only caught onto the feminazi version. You go do what you want to do, and let them be envious. Whether it's because of your awesome surgery or awesome apron collection is irrelevant. High five!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:15:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You can do anything you put you mind to."
This and other general special snowflake shit. That's not how it works, you can't just become a genius, you can't just become a world champion, you can't just become a millionaire, you can't just become an astronaut. Lack of confidence is not what holds you back, it's lack of actual skill.
When I tell someone they might hurt someone by doing what they are doing and they say, "SO!?"
I'm a highly sensitive person, so when someone says that, even if it's not about me, it hurts. Why wouldn't they care? Other people matter.
Edit: And I mean the really immature things. I understand that there are things that are for the best that will hurt others, but even just the react to it like that with so much disregard... It's rude.
"I hate small talk. Talk to me about life and travel and galaxies..."
Pardon me, Weinercat, how can you talk to a person about life and galaxies and "deep" shit like that without having first small talked with them to meet and connect with them? How can you stay friends with someone to talk about galaxies if you both don't know what's happening in each others lives, but you only talk about galaxies? And just HOW MUCH is their to say about galaxies!!? Unless you're an astronomer, you're conversations are going to be very limited.
"Praise the lord for the reason you have succeeded was because of him"
BITCH, I PUT EFFORT TO GET WHERE I WAS
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:27:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
stay-at-home mom. Hi,nice to meet you. I'm a go-to-work uncle.
Shoot you an email.
Cray cray.
Leverage as a verb.
Any corporate slang or stupid pop culture sayings.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:18:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I only eat organic and I'm anti gmo because gmos are bad".
If only people like this would research the sources for these bullshit articles on gmos being bad, or if the article that swayed their opinion even has sources, they'd learn they're reading bullshit! Seriously. Find me one legit study that's highly accepted in the scientific community stating gmos are unhealthy for human consumption. Because you can't.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:05:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is the age of consent in Japan 14? Should we follow their practices because it's legal?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Tell me this... Without gmos, a billion people would starve and organic farming would lead to us cutting down millions of acres to try and feed the world that way. Organic leaves a bigger ecological footprint, and would lead to an increase in pesticides. Gmos are more environemtally friendly, identical in nutrients if not better, reduces need for pesticides because scientists can turn genes on to activate proteins in the food that kill pests, and have a larger yield while also costing a 1/3 of the price compared to organic farming to grow. Most farmers use Monsanto seeds not because they have to, but because they're better than organic seeds. Natural is better? Well a wooden canoe didnt get us to the moon. And maybe you should research the papaya. Or maybe YSK that there is no strain of corn on this planet that isn't genetically modified? We've been genetically modifying since the dawn of civilization.
edit: "There is broad scientific consensus that food on the market derived from GM crops poses no greater risk than conventional food. No reports of ill effects have been proven in the human population from ingesting GM food".
Especially at work. I smile at every jackass who walks in the door. When an issue or difficult customer comes in, I'm the one who handles it. I work in a position two promotions below my skills. I get paid less than call center workers. I do the tasked expected three levels up and I never complain about it. When new people start, someone always pulls them aside and tells them "there's 3 rules for getting on with pizzagirl: do your job right the first time, don't mispronounce her name, and never ever ask her to smile".
Outside of work? I just look that dude (because it's always a dude) in the face and tell em "if I saw something worth smiling at I would"
Anyone who writes a vague status update on Facebook making it clear they are sad/distraught/angry, but without providing any details. And if you (that's the general you, I don't) ask them what's wrong, they refuse to tell you 'til you've had to beg and wheedle them for 5 or so posts.
I'm a hair stylist and that is not how it works. I can't give you three layers. That would look horrible and consist of me cutting shells into your hair.
_Walt_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:34:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bro, or bruh. Anything that these words taint instantly loses all meaning to me IRL. Period.
"I'm pro-life" or "the damn government can't take muh gunz away"
Marz64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as beliefs are well thought out and seriously considered, it is extremely immature and unfair to hate some one for thoroughly considered ideas. It's liberals like you who destroy intellectual freedom on college campuses, and act as a serious impetus against reaching both consensus and truth. And this shouldn't matter, but I'm for increased gun control, and tentatively pro-choice (I need to study this issue more extensively).
Most men and women who are pro-choice don't think it out. They care about the cells inside the woman and when it's born, poof, they disappear. "What about babies from rape or incest?" "Oh just put them up for adoption!" "Well, what about the hundreds of thousands of kids up for adoption? Why add more?" "Well, abortion is just wrong that's a baby you're killing!"
Most of them just don't give a fuck about the child after birth or the woman having the baby. A lot of them want to take away a woman's choices concerning their bodies.
Marz64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's true of pretty much every side of every issue. If someone tells me they're for an increase in the minimum wage, should I hate them because they don't understand that it's a tyranny of the majority, acts as a regressive tax against the very people it's trying to help while giving middle class kids a better summer job, would send approximately 500,000 people in to unemployment (average prediction of all economists, see Chicago survey), and even if all the previous things weren't true, is still less efficient than an earned income tax credit??? I bring up the minimum wage here, not because I want to argue about it now, but to demonstrate that most people do not have well thought ideas on pretty much anything. I do not hate people who can not respond to the above arguments, I teach them. I encourage you to do the same.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:15:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I'm not racist/homophobic but....'
This statement is usually followed by something that would make Hitler/Donald Trump blush. Well maybe not Trump.
'Speaking as a parent' Yeah you got fucked by someone and didn't wrap up how does this validate your opinion? (I am a parent, and this one pisses me off the most)
"I Don't Like X" Whenever i mention something to my friends like Friend:Where did you go?. Me:i Was getting some {Food Name}. Friend:I Don't Like {Food Name} i wasn't asking for you're Opinion. Thanks for making me feel bad.
When people put on Facebook in there job description - Full time Mummy....
Being a full time mum is not an occupation it was a lifestyle choice you volunteered to do, do not tell me that because your a full time mum you class that as your "job".
And for those of you who will surely say "but being a mum is a full time job!" yes i understand this but my mum and many other mums out there work full time "real" jobs and still have three children!
When my family says "The people you talk to online aren't real friends."
I love gaming and have made some amazing friends online. I have almost no friends that are not from online because most people i know or that go to my school are cunts
I'm not really crying over anything their so called movement has done. Pretty sure I don't give a shit about their 'plight' and just want to play video games with my friends.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:41:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Hampiiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry but english are'nt that hard too speak... /s
"this is awkward" people use that word so fucking freely now that it's dumb as fuck. not to mention they are only making themselves feel awkward, just don't say it...
People tend to say this during a quiet moment in a conversation and it annoys me. A quiet moment is just how sometimes there's a transition to another topic
I had a friend who used to say "It's only awkward if someone make it awkward" and while i don't necessarily agree that that is 100% true all the time I think it is true most of the time.
honestly the only thing that would make things awkward like the real definition of awkward is if something that WOULD NEVER happen happened like say if your clothes disappeared out of nowhere haha and even at that I would laugh my ass off it would not even be close to awkward. Nothing is awkward to me
Ayce22 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:06:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because its a bullshit way of saying, well I know shit sucks but I'm too lazy to change it so I'll just ignore it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've only ever heard it as meaning "it's unfortunate, but there's nothing we can do about it so we're just going to have to deal with it/work around it".
"We shouldn't raise the minimum wage. Low wage workers should just get better jobs or get a degree."
I can guarantee you that every minimum wage worker who has the dedication to fight for better pay would gladly give up an arm and a leg for a degree or a better job, but they don't have the time for school because they're supporting someone and/or keeping themselves off the street by working countless hours since they're paid so little and weren't fortunate enough to be born into a family that could afford to pay for a higher education. Or in some cases, they're already paying for a family member's higher education in the hopes that said family member doesn't have to do what they're doing.
myrpou ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:59:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I ask you a question?"
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:52:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That TRULY makes you dislike someone strongly?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:24:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, when my bossman looks busy but might not be, I tend to be considerate and say, "Hey [bossman] do you have time for a question?" different words, same meaning, but sometimes he's too busy and sometimes he's not. there are times when you should use this phrase.
That's good. It annoys me when some people act like they are smarter just for having gone to college. College provides many great opportunities to learn different things, but it doesn't make you actually more intelligent. There are plenty of smart people who did not go to college for whatever reason, and I have met plenty of really stupid people who did go.
It's also the same with "class" and "sophistication": I think people mistakenly equate these with wealth and opportunity. However, truly classy people are those who respect themselves and others and conduct themselves with good manners. Sophisticated people are those who are open-minded and open to the world around them. These qualities have nothing to do with how much money you have, where you were raised, or your social status.
Warpato ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With a good education you could answer those questions ;p
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:03:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody that says "like" more than three times in one sentence.
My best friend has been guilty of this ever since we starting hanging out way back in 2001. I've called him on it countless times over the years and he would just brush it off and say whatever man.
Flash forward to a month ago we were messing around with a podcast idea and recorded a few eps to try it out. As I was playing them back for us to listen to he got an odd look on his face and said "Wow I say like way too much." I replied "Well no fucking shit. I've been telling you this forever."
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:23:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think thats ok oddly, at least they are honest. Its when they say something like "You shouldn't say that because its offensive to [insert sugroup here]".
9/10 times said person is not part of said subgroup, has limited contact with said subgroup but feels that they can speak for them and decide what is offensive to them and what isn't. Despite said subgroup being perfectly capable of saying if they find it offensive or not :/
Im like 1/128 german and i think nazi jokes are offensive
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:29:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, don't blame me you couldn't stop the drive with your weak ass D.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:15:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Admittedly, that's a more diplomatic response than saying "What a dick thing to say" or "Wow, you're an asshole." At least they're putting the problem on themselves and not you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I find the fact that you find that offensive offensive!"
An alternative: "I'm sorry to hear that. However I didn't say anything disrespectful or inappropriate. I'm afraid that it's your problem if you're offended."
Eh, depending on what you said, that just makes you sound like the king of the assholes. Whether you find something to be disrespectful or inappropriate doesn't necessarily matter, if the person you said it to felt disrespected by it. There are plenty of people who will say really rude stuff and then just claim "it's the truth" or "an opinion can't be wrong!"
Yeah, I don't see the problem in just saying, "I'm sorry for offending, wasn't my intention." I feel that people just kind of want that last leg in whatever argument by saying, "I'm sorry that offended you." or "I'm sorry you feel that way." That's essentially a sarcastic apology. At least from hearing it myself anyways.
To which I usually reply, "You have just as much of a right to be offended as I do to be offensive. " Some people are way too sensitive. Especially when it comes to being politically correct. I'm not going to change my mind just so I don't hurt your feelings. I wound expect the same from anyone else. The only thing we really have is our beliefs. Get off the fucking bandwagon and think for yourself. /rant
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:27:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not going to change my mind just so I don't hurt your feelings.
No one is asking you to change your mind or beliefs, most likely they are asking you to change the way you state your belief. Basically upgrade your vocab.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can either say this or "You are being such a fucking cunt. I hope you get pulled though the gears of large machinery. I hope your last thought is sheer terror and the feeling of pain."
yeah its pretty arrogant. Should be "I feel offended", because it does not imply some kind of objective monopoly on knowinf what is, and is not offensive.
"I know that this unarmed black guy was killed for a busted taillight, but this white teen was heavily armed, stole a truck, was under the influence of drugs and was shot by police, where are the marches for HIM?! Why aren't we talking about THAT, HM?"
I'm from New Jersey, so I'm not sure how far reaching this argument goes, but a few years ago a little white girl, Autumn Pasquale, was killed by two black teens for her bicycle. The teens were caught and brought to justice and served their terms. Yet, when anything that happens to an unarmed POC, the counter argument is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS "Where were the riots for her, HUH???" Jesus, justice was fucking served to those kids but noooooo since there was no outrage, her death meant nothing apparently.
I come across this argument a lot with the cops. "This cop was killed by a black guy, but where are the marches and riots for him?"
There aren't any, because the perpetrator was immediately arrested, convicted of murder, and sentenced to prison. People riot and march because they feel justice was miscarried, not because someone committed a crime in the first place.
Agreed YOLO doesn't mean go kill yourself doing stupid shit, but if you believe YOLO means go kill yourself doing stupid shit, it is probably natural selection doing the rest of the human population a favor.
"Hey, <familiar pronoun>, do you have a dollar?" First off, I don't know you, and we're not friends. Second off, yes I have a dollar. That I earned. At my job. No, you can't have it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:35:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disliking someone because of one phrase seems kinda shallow.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Listen here "Big Fucking Gun", you are absolutely right. I can still not help losing respect for someone who utters my trigger phrase when I hardly know them yet. Things change though and people redeem themselves.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are the first one to get the reference! :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yay me! I think it is a perfect reference.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
noiro777 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"foodstuffs". FFS, why can't you just use the word "food" ?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because spices and cooking materials tend to be 'foodstuffs,' in that they are used to make food, not so much the food itself.
noiro777 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people may use it that way, but the definition is "a substance suitable for consumption as food". The people that I know that use it, tend to be the pretentious "foodie" types and will use it for any kind of food.
[When someone asks about my major] "Math? I hate math! What's the use of it. "(Or) "Math? What are you gonna do with that? Teach!? "(Or) "Whats this times that..."
"If psychics aren't real how come they know so much stuff about the person...."
"How can you not believe in god/the supernatural/the afterlife!"
"Why don't you try thinking of god as love/nature/the universe..."
I could go on. A lot of what people say annoys me apparently...aw man no wonder I have no friends! :[
"At my church..." I don't care that you're religious. Believe in whatever you like. I just don't give a damn about it, and I certainly don't want to hear about what you do or what happened at church.
Gnvgrl85 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bs corporate jargon that basically translates into people not wanting to do their jobs.
"Let's put a pin in that."
"Can we table this discussion for now?"
"Let's circle back to that."
"Let's brainstorm some more synergized ideas"
I automatically assume these people enjoy the smell their own farts.
Basically, it seems to mean that you're not offended, but you're pretty sure you could be, and that's not good.
Grow a thicker skin.
DerpGrub ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:40:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"men you need to treat your woman like a princess"-every bitchy woman that doesn't deserve a man. if you have to remind every man you date to treat you right. maybe your the fucking problem.
Gstayton ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:00:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bit late, but I have to contribute my ex's dislike of the phrase "it is what it is", she'd get sooo mad. And it was my favorite way to just shrug stuff off :<
"Oh, really? I thought the procedures were a hat. Hit with some more of your lame tautology, Socrates."
Gstayton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Making me sound like the one with a terrible phrase now D:
I'm sorry I can't keep up with the shipping phrases these days, not my fault I passed banter with someone raised on Shakespeare!
But seriously. I don't always know what's archaic and what isn't, and it gets me in trouble :x
Your ex's hated phrase reminded me of a scene from Gilmore Girls which is where I pulled that quote from. Paris yells at a doctor for saying "the procedures are the procedures," because it's an infuriating variation of the endlessly annoying "it is what it is."
I fucking hate this word so much because it seems so careless! I'll be talking to someone and be like "you wanna do something later " and if they respond with "sure" I instantly feel like they actually don't but they just suck at saying no. Any question you can answer sure to yoi can answer yes or no to!
I have chronic insomnia. It pisses me right off when people say crap like "Just go to bed earlier," or "Turn off the computer before bed," or "Don't eat after seven."
Thanks, I totally hadn't tried any of that even though I've had insomnia for nearly ten years.
It gets ten times worse when you encounter people who think you're faking it so you can stay up to play video games or some BS. As if insomnia isn't an actual thing.
This can be said for other conditions, too. For example, there's a disturbingly large portion of the population that thinks migraines are merely bad headaches. No. No, they are much, much worse.
heurrgh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:52:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to post this. 99% of the time people are going to be "fake" if they don't actually like you. You don't get anywhere in the world by acting like a dick to people you don't like.
"Now I'm not a scientist but..." and then proceeds to give very detailed beliefs that are not based on science. The only way this can make me not annoyed is if they ask for and ACCEPT/consider any correction of misinformation they just said.
Dobly1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:22:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on what it is, in a lot of ways they are better, in a few ways they are worse. Personally I try buy the PC version of a game because I get the added capability to mod, even though I rarely do, but I overwhelmingly prefer consoles. Mostly because they are easy and ready to go, no videocard/soundcard/controller drivers to screw with, analog controllers are better than digital keys on keyboards, I don't have to sit up properly and keep my hand and body in uncomfortable positions(when not using a controller), usually more people online, etc.
I have an anti-vaxxer coworker who actually believes in the Illuminati and in shape shifting lizard people. It used to be funny, now its just fucking annoying.
Stamor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:35:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had something related to this happen quite recently. I had just finished my lunch, but was still technically on my lunch break. I was just doing stuff on the computer. I think I was looking up E3-related news. This coworker I barely knew came into the room and I got the impression he wanted to use the computer (we don't really have a strict "this person uses this computer" thing.) I asked him if he needed it and he said "no, feel free to putz about". I suddenly really disliked the guy. The only time I ever heard that phrase growing up was when my mother was chastising me for being lazy. So even though he didn't say it in a condescending way, I took it as if he had.
I knew he was probably a perfectly fine dude and that I was just experiencing a personal bias based on my own connotations for the phrase, but it was still hard for me to get over. Luckily a few weeks after this incident we ended up talking and he turned out to be an alright guy after all.
I'm a young Latino professional. So, when I meet someone new and they notice how articulate I am and they say, โWow, you speak so wellโฆ You are not like themโฆ You are really smartโฆ OR You are different and they will really like you.โ
Grrrrrrr.... Micro aggressions are subtle, done unconsciously, but reflect a person's inner thinking.
ohmygod_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I watch Fox News.
Minesae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You should smile more."
"I'm not leaving till you smile."
"What's wrong? You look upset."
Passenger ferry deckhand here, male. Customers used to say this to me at least 8 times a week, it's toned down now but still happens -- I could be smiling or laughing or just counting passengers or be idle and someone will come up to me and start doing this or even commanding me to smile because I apparently have resting bitch face or I look too serious or sad for people. It's the commanding lines that really piss me off.
I also get a lot of people that ask if I'm high. I'm 1/4th Chinese and it really shows in my eyes but nothing else. People assume I'm a stoner just because of how I look, but I've never smoked a damn thing in my life.
When someone says or does something shitty/borderline dehumanizing that he meant and when you let him know how fucked up and wrong it was and retaliate with negative emotion he says, "Goshhh I was just joking man calllmmmmm downnn. It was just a joke." Its like own up to your actions.
I started reading this thread thinking like "oh, I can't really think of something like that...", and now im surprised I don't most everyone because everyone is saying stuff that I would fucking hate...
Also my own one is when someone does something amazing and talented and someone replies "Oh God must of blessed you with that lovely voice"... more fucking likely that person worked really fucking hard to be good thanks for trying to take that away from them
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:50:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using ADD/ADHD/autism as some kind of excuse for something you're ashamed of.
"You need to learn to take a joke."
Or something similar. Makes my blood boil.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:57:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a response to a comment made...."I know, right?" Yeah bitch that's right, that's why I said it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say "low key" or "high key". Like "you are being high key annoying" or "I low key dont know what you are talking about". So fucking condescending and dumb.
My teacher played "The Usual Suspects" on the coach bus on the way back from a field trip. A girl in my class loudly talked through the movie while facing the opposite direction of the screens.
About 3/4 through the movie, she turns and glanced at the screen for about 7 seconds and said, "God this movie sucks"
Die cunt
Die
Interus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:00:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses their sky fairy/deity to judge other people. I mean everyone has a right to delusions and to believe in myths, but keep it to yourself.
Baby, honey, etc... when we just first met. It is an indication that he actually #1 He has forgotten my name. #2 He was not listening properly. #3 He calls all women by the same name...
johnny2k ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:12:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amazeballs and awesomesauce.
kyred ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:12:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not about finding the right answers. But having good conversations."
Said by our new chatty Cathy head of technical operations. Sorry, but there are such things as wrong answers and bad ideas in the world of engineering. You can't just talk your problems away like a politician.
When I'm interviewing someone for a job, if they use the phrase "deal with," they lose points immediately. I don't want someone working for me that feels their job is to "deal with" teenagers or their parents.
No, I think the word you're looking for is ignorant.
zaRMs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:23:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one who....
No you are not
myttins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:25:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's gay"
Adrxone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:26:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"<something> will be the death of me."
"<something> is the bane of my existence."
It irritates me because it comes off as ostentatious and trying to sound like you've got an extensive vocabulary and are from a Shakespeare play or some shit.
Manavj36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:27:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol used to bug the crap out of me but now it's just an easy way out of a convo
Either "Can I speak to your supervisor?" or "You should be able to fix this."
People don't realize how shitty it is to work in places like that, you're just gonna make their day worse too. In cases with kids just working a summer job they literally might not even now how to give a fuck that you want a refund for food that "tasted old" but that you still ate the whole fucking order of, you cunt.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:33:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sending prayers
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:34:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone seriously tries to call people sockpuppets because they can't accept other people actually disagree with them.
"I'm not being funny, but..."
It's basically an admission that they know what they are about to say is fucking stupid, but they're going to go ahead and say it anyway.
Better idea, keep it parked behind your front teeth.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:05:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"She is a thot." Thot = That Hoe Over There. She is a that hoe over there?
blurio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:08:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Germany a popular one is: I'm not a Nazi, but [insert racist bullshit].
Ich bin ja kein Nazi, aber...
embarc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:09:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Live, Love, Laugh" and other bullshit lines as a fuck off giant wall art piece in their bedroom.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" - oh fuck you, DESERVE? DESERVE?! How about you simmer the self-centred bullshit down and grow up.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:21:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So you're a vegetarian, eh? Well, for every animal you don't eat, I'll eat three!"
This has been said to me so many fucking times that I go out of my way to hide the fact that I'm a vegetarian for as long as I can around new people until I can't hide it anymore (ie: we eat together and it inevitably comes up when I don't eat any meat).
If you say this you're a massive douchebag. This phrase is older than "WHAZZZUP!" and anyone you say it to has already heard it at least a hundred times. If you ever meet the fabled "preachy vegan" it's because they either haven't been vegan for very long or simply don't mind being verbally assaulted on a regular basis.
Person: You sir,should get a life ASAP,thank you and please leave.
Me: The heck, just say that I'm a dildo instead of pretending to be nice and good,asshole.
Anyone who offers 'snake oil' to cure my complex mental health issues.
There is a reason my therapy takes 18 months at the minimum, please fuck off.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:59:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You would love my grandma. Her cure-all was a hot bath with epsom salts. Sick? Hot bath with epsom salts. Broke your leg? Hot bath with epsom salts. Possessed by Satan himself? Hot bath with epsom salts. Forgot to make a car payment? Hot. Bath. With epsom salts.
Actually, hot baths are my go-to solution when I'm feeling incredibly fucked up. Maybe I need to get me some Epsom salts.......
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:09:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I won't lie, epsom salts are quite relaxing. Just don't add too much to the bath. I once added a bunch, soaked for maybe 15 minutes, and my muscles got way too relaxed. I felt like a freaking vegetable, could barely move, and had to open the drain with my toes to keep from slipping under the water and drowning. Epsom salt (aka magnesium sulfate) is great though. The nails on both sides of both of my big toes got in-grown and needed surgery. Foot doctor recommended I soaked them in, what else, but warm water and epsom salts after surgery.
I facepalm so hard at emo facebook posts i nearly tear my face off
Ifvckdup ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:14:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I think if god had intended........he wouldn't have......." Mother fucker shut up your imaginary friend can't take the blame for whatever racist/sexist/xenophobic bullshit's about to come outta your mouth.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:18:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..." Like being able to add to the population makes you wise.
scavmink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:24:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you seen/read/done this? No?! Why not? You haven't lived!
I'm sorry that I haven't experienced everything in this world. It would be better if you said something like "I recommend it IF you have time"
"He'll get what's coming to him" or anything related to karma.
Um, no, that's not how the world works, bad people sometimes have good things happen to them and succeed in life and good people sometimes have bad things happen to them and fail in life. I would actually bet that "bad people" are even more likely to succeed because they have the advantage of options that "good people" would pass up because they see them as taking advantage of situations and/or people.
Nagaho ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:46:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to boast, but...
ThibiiX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:57:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but... {insert super racist comment}"
redaelk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:01:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but...
slayeryo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:08:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i am not racist, BUT......
Arcticor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:09:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know it may seem offensive, but people using the term African-American for people who aren't African. The term is meant for people who moved from Africa to here. I don't ask to be called Irish-American, I'm just white.
"Am I the only one who _____?"
No. No you are not. Out of the billions of people on this planet you are most definitely not the only person to do the thing. Bonus points if it's something the majority of people do but don't talk about because the rest of us know it isn't that big of a deal
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:22:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Liberal Media"
I know that certain media outlets have a liberal bias to them. I also know that the people who usually say this tend to be horrifyingly far-right and hold views that I find disgusting at the very least. They also tend to employ horribly-constructed arguments and laugh in the face of logic.
Even though there's nothing particularly wrong with the phrase itself--I even have a friend who uses that phrase regularly but we have calm, intelligent discussions about it in which he cites specific examples and we talk about them--but using it with strangers places you in association with a group that is likely not a good reflection of who you are as a person.
It's like polygamy. In theory, I don't personally have a problem with it, but how it's typically practiced is in an environment that's horribly oppressive to women. So telling a stranger you are a polygamist--even if the arrangement is completely of the free, informed will of everybody involved--still puts images of creepy old FLDS men marrying 14-year-old girls in their head.
When someone says "Long story short" - and it never is.
Back in the day is also annoying.
AmyReneD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:35:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feed the need. (Anything/anyone asking for donations) What happens when you feed something? It grows. Why would you want need to grow? Literaly, most parks ask you, "don't feed the animals", because handouts make the animals stop doing for themselves. And the people who say donating/giving is the right thing to do, so you should just give. Most of the money people send to those donations are just continuing to line an already rich persons pockets, not helping someone in "need".
Marz64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check out "Effective Altruism." I think you'll find that both your arguments fall through.
HIJKay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:38:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Centais ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:59:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Phrases that involve people promoting themselves. I don't mind people being self confident and saying they're good at something when being asked, but don't bring it forward yourself..
jinreeko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:01:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who overuse "it is what it is"
lonalon5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:04:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be honest with you...." I immediately assume that from then on everything they tell me that they don't start out with "To be honest with you..." is a lie.
A friend of mine dated a guy who constantly pronounced 'idea' as 'idear'.
So much contempt.
Belanos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are certain accents, including some British, that put R's at the end of some words. You're clearly adding a letter to a word that isn't there...STOP IT!!!!
I really hate when people try to make their point by first asking and then answering their own questions. As in: Did he deserve that beatdown? Yes. Am I sorry I beat him up? No. Would I do it again? Sure.
This makes me extremely irritated. Does anyone know if this particular bit of verbal garbage has a specific name?
Talk about a phrase that screams, "I'm totally insecure and care what other people think about me".
Guy 1: You know, Brad Pitt is a good looking guy.
Guy 2: Dude, do you want to have sex with him?
Guy 1: Uh no. He's just good looking. That's all. I'm not gay.
Guy 2: But you didn't say no homo!
Now if that guy had only said no homo...
Guy 1: You know, Brad Pitt is a good looking guy. No homo.
Guy 2: Totally.
Guy 1: Dude, do you want to have sex with him?
Guy 2: Uh no. He's just good looking. That's all. I'm not gay.
Guy 1: But you didn't say no homo!
That's not what that means. You're free to relocate, to practise your religious, and speak your views and opinions without unreasonable government interference.
But I agree that it's a dumb phrase because they're usually referring to something trivial.
Any phrase that uses the non-specific, conspiracy-oriented, capitalized form of "They". It tells me that, at the very least, you haven't expended any mental effort forming whatever belief you're now verbalizing.
Examples:
"They're trying to stop Christians from reporting persecution. . ." -my mom
"They only allow new technology to be released when it suits Them." -some guy I know
_tallz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:14:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people actually say "ba-dum-tiss" after a joke.
Jenerys ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just saying."
I'm standing right here listening to you talk. I know you're saying something. That phrase doesn't mean anything.
Like somehow they get a free pass for being wrong, or mean, or judgmental by putting that nonsense caveat on.
"Just sayin!" I worked with a horrid man in theater who said this constantly and now I have a near-visceral reaction to anyone saying it.
Boogiie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:48:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At Ikea: "Sorry you take the demonstration object, I have to keep it"
At the restaurant "Stop eating all the bread" If they give us bread I can eat it, it's mine, I gonna eat you forever for judging me on my bread. I love bread.
Rios7467 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:00:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a song I heard and idk who or wtf it was but it basically had a chorus of "baby I'm worth it." If you have to actively say out loud that you're worth it, then you're fucking not at all.
That's all fine and dandy when you're the authority figure or equal or etc, but when you are under someone, for whatever reason, be fucking respectful. You don't have to like them. You don't have to be friendly. But you can respectful.
And for gods sake, if your boss/teacher/trainer/director/etc tells you to do something, don't say no or ask why. Do it and ask questions later. You have to earn their respect first to get the privilege of knowing why they're telling you shit.
UglyT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:19:29 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let me nutshell that for you". Said to me in a business meeting before I was condescended to massively by someone explaining a very simple concept in baby words.
veptavis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:05:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's reverse racism/sexism!"
Every time.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:30:10 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but people who say "PC" as if it's an operating system. A PC is a personally-owned computer. A computer running Macintosh is a PC if you or someone else personally owns it.
narrill ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:08:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a colloquialism, it saves people from having to say "PC running Windows" or "PC running OS X."
Also, PC stands for personal computer, which is a category of computing devices, not a descriptor of ownership. A PC is still a PC if it's owned by a business, or by no one at all.
Bohnanza ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:31:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's Apple's marketing that's done that. Apple has always marketed their products as something different than a PC.
Remember those "Hi, I'm a Mac"... "and I'm a PC" commercials? Though Apple wanted customers to view the PC guy as a Windows computer (and people did), they were really saying "this is what a Mac is like"... "and this is what every other computer is like."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:45:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think a Mac is a PC. They ran an advertising campaign in which they compared themselves to PCs which wouldn't have made sense if they were.
Ah_Q ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:21:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, exactly, this is the point. "PC" has come to mean something different from its literal meaning. Of course a Mac is a personal computer, but "PC" has come to mean personal computers that do not run an Apple OS.
So does every other laptop, save for some clunky gaming ones. In order to fit all the components into such small case, they have to sacrifice some serviceability.
Granted, Apple does put a surprising amount of work into the design of their electronics' interiors. But are you really going to complain about that?
They made up that phrase so they wouldn't have to say the actual name of their competitor. When someone says "a PC" to mean a computer that runs Windows, odds are it's a Mac user.
The_Yar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a history behind that.
For a while it was mainly IBMs and Apples. IBMs had names like "PC AT" "PC XT" "PC Jr." They ran IBM-DOS, and then MS-DOS. The term PC meant personal computer, and it applied to all of them, but IBM was the one naming them "PC__."
MS-DOS and Windows could run on anything, though, they weren't tied just to IBMs, in the way Apple's OS and hardware were proprietary and linked. So other manufacturers made hardware that mimicked IBM PCs so they could run Microsoft products designed for IBMs. These were known as "IBM clones."
Of course that name was weird and died off and people started referring to IBM clones as "PCs." Because IBM and all of the other manufacturers called them PCs, whereas Apple called theirs the "IIe" or "Lisa" or "Macintosh" or whatever. PC just meant "a PC that isn't an Apple and runs Windows."
Well consoles are essentially simpler computers made to play games
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:00:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello, I'm a Mac."
"And I'm a PC."
Hey guess what, Mac? You're a fucking PC, too. Ignorant twat. Way to make your target audience look fucking retarded. Also, those commercials were stupid because I'd rather hire the guy who shows up in a suit and talks about his word processor than the shaggy fuck with the jeans and greasy hair that just wants to paint all day.
Macintosh is a sub-brand of Apple. It is not an operating system either. Also, PC stands for "Personal Computer" as opposed to a mainframe, server, or other shared device.
And let's not even get started on how people pronounce the name of the operating system that's preinstalled on Macs.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:43:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen, brother. Keep fighting the good fight.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:40:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Allahu Akbar!" followed by KABOOM.
Not a huge fan of people who pull that shit.
Warpato ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:02:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if you don't like people who joke about it or if you don't like suicide bombers
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a fan of suicide bombers.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:36:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend, soon to be ex, "You can't be racist to white people, you can only discriminate against them."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are the races in this relationship. I must know.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:48:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're both white
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:32:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm... that seems a bit confusing. Besides isn't racism just a race based discrimination? Well, good luck with that break up. Tell her it is because she is too white.
When a stereotypical whit girl says "I'm such a nerd" because they are wearing fake hipster glasses and playing some mobile game, or reading a book, etc
Anytime someone mentions "White Privilege". I worked two jobs and busted my ass for what I have. My parents didn't have a dime when they started out either. I haven't been handed a God damned thing, so to the people that think I'm coasting on the gravy train just because I'm white, fuck you and fuck your mother...
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:45:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use it all the time in carpentry. Sometimes wood is twisted or crowned, but you have to work with it.
G_Morgan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually this term is used by managers to explain why they can't change something that is within their power to change without explaining anything.
[deleted] ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 15:31:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone tells you "It is what it is", they're telling you to shut up and stop whining because it isn't going to change. Maybe that's why you don't like them?
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:37:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not the phrase itself, but the kind of people who use it make it toxic. It is usually the people who can change things, but choose not to, since they don't care enough about their subordinates' problems (while pretending they are the most caring person 'my office doors are always open' etc)
This is the truth. I'd also like to throw in the old adage "If you run into an asshole in the morning, you've run into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're an asshole" in reference to OP having "never met one decent person" who told him it is what it is.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only use this phrase for this specific purpose. It's a conversation ender and a strong indication I'm tired of hearing about whatever is being bitched about.
G_Morgan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:15:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is disliked because it is insincere. It is nearly always used by people in the power to change what "it is" is. They just disagree with you and can't be arsed arguing why the status quo isn't a bad idea.
It's strange, because I hadn't actually associated this phrase with that. It's one of the most frequent things I hear from 'stoic' patients when you give them bad news (I'm a surgeon). I can absolutely appreciate that spoken by someone who could change the situation if they chose it would be infuriating, but it can also express simple pragmatism, or even a sort of catharsis.
I'm a social worker who does emergency psych assessments, primarily in the ER. I hear the phrase in the context of stoicism as well, generally when people are venting about some pretty awful social situations.
The_Yar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:36:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only hear it used by people acknowledging a situation that they can't control and need to accommodate.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:23:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:56:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You know what, I'd love if my manager replaced "it is what it is" with this one. Even when I know I am getting screwed over, at least there is some humor in it.
"Jack, I have performed well this year. I think I deserve a raise, yet you are denying me one."
Jack: "You don't think it be like it is but it do."
wetwater ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:51:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boss is fond of that phrase. Pretty much if he uses it then he's washing his hands of whatever the issue is instead of dealing with it, which is why I now go over his head to his boss when I need something done.
i have, but think of this association as a general guideline more than a fact of nature.
noiro777 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:42:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually like it. Sure, it appears to be a meaningless tautology and is certainly overused, but I think it does have some value in the sense that sometimes things just need to be accepted and you have to move on.
because otherwise it wouldn't be, obviously! my dad hated this phrase too.
scramtek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:21:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seems to be staple phrase amongst fighters. If you're a pro athlete in a team, you can rationalise a loss. As a fighter, there's an inmate need to dismiss the loss due to "unforeseeable circumstances". Circumstances that everyone but the fighter foresaw.
It's a psychological self-protection mechanism that's hard to avoid as a singular athlete.
But yeah, it gets annoying hearing someone repeat that phrase almost every other sentence.
I was once commiserating a bit with my boss who had a terminal illness. He finally said "it is what it is." He let me know how he felt about it and managed to shut me up at the same time in a very kind manner. Nothing means the same thing every time it's expressed.
I know a former paramedic who uses this phrase. When you encounter an accident victim who can't be saved, you either say "it is what it is" or you end up blaming yourself for stuff you had no control over.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've used that phrase in specific contexts, not frequently. For example, when dealing with something unpleasant that I have no power to change and I am discussing it with a friend, it might end in exasperation, and a resigned "c'est la vie." "Such is life" is a similar phrase to "it is what it is." I've never really heard people use "it is what it is" in a bad way, though. How have you heard it used?
Edit: Yeah, if managers are using the phrase to avoid dealing with subordinates' problems, that would be frustrating.
The_Yar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's used by decent people all the time to mean, "this is a circumstance were probably better off accommodating than trying to fix or complain about." It is what it is.
Interesting. I use that semi-regularly. Whiel I think I've used it in a number of ways, I think I usually use that when someone is offering sympathy for me in regards to something that cannot change or I cannot change. Never imagined I could be judged for that.
so i'm on this direct flight from claremont (my college town) back to kansas city (my home town) for winter break. since its a direct 3 hour flight, its too short for them to have "in flight entertainment," but its so long that i'm gonna be bored out of my god damn mind. so, of course, i'm like "i guess i'm beating off like 5 times during this flight."
its one of those small sized slingshot airplanes that goes really fast but is really unstable and has one tiny ass cramped aisle. so i'm sitting in my anorexic bucket seat w/ my shitty peanuts waiting for the plane to hit a high enough altitude when i finally hear: ding "this is your captain speaking, we have reached a cruising altitude of 30,000 feet, you are now free to move about the cabin." "bink success!" i think to myself, "the time is right." of course i don't rush to the bathroom, no need for that. why not give myself a little tease. i gently, slowly unbuckle my seatbelt. I stand up, and stretch a little bit. I take a nice slow, leisurely walk to the bathroom at the back of the plane. masturbation this good deserves foreplay of its own.
i get to the bathroom, close the door, and sliiiiiide my pants on down and start working myself. oh holy LORD it's amazing. i mean, i don't know if you know this or not, but i am REALLY good at masturbating. I'm in a 2 square foot, dimly lit bathroom, but i feel so good my back is arching and my foot is cramping and i'm nearly ready to start screaming my own name.
then suddenly, TURBULENCE. AGH SHIT. I HATE turbulence. It's not that it makes me feel sick or nauseated. turbulence makes me feel like i'm about to die. So i'm trying to jack off, and suddenly the jerk in the plane floods my body w/ adrenaline and i grab the handle in the bathroom and i'm like "OH SHIT."
do you know how hard it is to cum when you feel like you're about to die??? I mean seriously, imagine jacking off while there's a guy w/ a loaded gun to your head and he's screaming "C'MON CUM YOU PUSSY, DO IT CUM." You'd be shivering w/ eyes closed, tears streaming down your face as you sputter through little snot bubbles just BEGGING your dick to come. "please cum!!!" you'd weep "i wanna cum soooo bad!!!!!"
so there i am trying to think of every dirty thing possible so i can finally orgasm, but all that's going through my mind is "god i need to reconcile with my dad and tell my brother i love him" etc etc and while i'm distracted in a mess of standard pre-death thoughts, i don't realize that i'm about to cum.
HOLY FUCK i say as i fumble and try to grab some kleenex from the box on the counter. however, in my stuttered panic, i just knock the kleenex box over, hit the "stewardess help button," and i cum directly onto the floor. still in a state of panic i'm like FUCKFUCKFUCK I NEED TO TURN THIS BUTTON OFF so of course i (geniusly) press it like 5 more times trying to turn this off. Naturally, the button just goes ding ding ding ding, making my situation seem all the more urgent, and i can hear the stewardess rushing to the door since i appear to be in desperate need of help.
"FOCUS SEAN FOCUS," i think, "I NEED TO HIDE MY DICK." so, (this is genius) i pick up the kleenex box from the floor, pull out 5 pieces of tissue, and i just lay them on top of my erection... so it looks kinda like a little dick tent. so, the stewardess, responding to my urgent spams of the "stewardess help button" proceeds to open the bathroom door just like i knew she was going to. She looks on the ground to see my epic protein stain, looks up at my glorious dicktent, and then you know what happens?? we make eye contact.
so she's looking at me, and i'm looking at her and in general i dislike awkward silences. however, this was an all KINDS of awkward silence, so i figured it was necessary to say something. so, i did the best i could. i look her right in the eye and say "... it is what it is..."
BtDB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Accept mediocrity!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because they want nothing more in that moment than to shut the fuck up about said topic.
In all seriousness, this saying has gotten me through some pretty stressful times. I think/say it when I'm super stressed/angry/sad/at a breaking point, and to me it's just a little reminder to concentrate on the things I can affect right now and let everything else go.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of my spouses pet peeves. He thinks most people use it as an excuse.
souIIess ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:42:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is it then? Because it sounds like it involves sweaty balls.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:38:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: it does
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:51:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Ezmar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wikipedia defines it as pretty wide apart, and taking up more than one seat.
Don't hate the term, hate the termer.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:17:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:23:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's notable in culture, there should be a wikipedia article on it. Wikipedia chronicles reality; it doesn't make a value judgment on it. Regardless of whether you like it, it does exist.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:24:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It has d-list actors whom you have definitely never heard of - why shouldn't it have cultural trends that you, and many others, have heard of? If someone hears about a current trend and wants to learn and it, then proceeds to read about it via wikipedia, I'd say the purpose is served. I don't think something needs to be Velostodon Approved in order to be considered "significant" enough for the world's most expansive, user-contributed encyclopedia.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:51:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice attempt to recall what you learned in 10th grade English. Ad hominem is a personal attack in lieu of a point. I wasn't arbitrarily insulting you, though. I was saying that your personal estimation of something's significance is not the standard that wikipedia goes by. For what it's worth, though, I apologize if you felt offended by my unintentional microaggression.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad you took my facetiousness as intended. :)
Ezmar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Better than finding out what the term means through Urban Dictionary.
souIIess ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:59:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And what would be wrong with that? My junk has to fit somewhere, what is the proposed solution to this?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The proposed solution is that men kill themselves or just stop taking public transportation.
Source?
How about this: on a crowded train or bus everybody sits with their legs at 90 degrees to the bench. Is that hard?
souIIess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know this was a thing, but now I feel like spreading to the extent of my abilities to test the theory.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly the problem is on public transit. I see it all the time. The bench on the subway is designed for six people but, only four or five men are using it because they are spreading their legs, taking away seats from others. It really irritates me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't pretend your junk is so massive that you need this much space.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:11:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2-3) Perhaps, but I see this bs in real life all the time.
4) He's taking two seats.
5) Both of those men have their legs spread past their shoulders, while the woman has it pin her knees together. In a crowded train, everybody needs to sit with their legs at a 90 degree angle to the bench. It's not hard.
And this is more than one person. I can't count the times I've seen seats taken away on busy trains by men and boys who spread their legs and take more than their fair share of space. I have never seen women do this.
davou ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:44:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that this shit wasn't and isn't and issue when its a woman's purse taking up a third seat. It's vitriolic to serve a narrative
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That's because both men and women use bags to take up extra space. That is not gendered. Spreading one's legs to take up more space, that is mainly men.
davou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:05:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spreading one's legs to take up more space, that is mainly men.
Fucking bullshit, Anecdotal and without merit.
Here's a photo I took yesterday thinking that this comment would get this kind of reply.
A woman, both 'manspreading' and making sure that her very tired groceries (which were on the floor till the person next to her got up) get their own seat despite the very full bus.
This whole man spreading garbage is just feminism trying to genderise the issue of assholes so that they can justify their clubs, action groups, charities, scholarships etc. As it stands they need to latch onto anything in order to prevent themselves seeming irrelevant; even when they statistics are grossly wrong, or the issues are fucking absurd.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking bullshit, Anecdotal and without merit.
Until either of us produces some stats that would describe your comments as well, including your picture and entire previous post.
davou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes exactly; making it a non concern for either of us. Arguments and political issues like this carry less fucking weight than an episode of honey-boo-boo socially. The picture I posted was not evidence of some conspiracy on the behalf of women to control the minds of men with sinister use of their groceries; it was a picture of a cunt who didn't give up her seat even when people started to stand two inches from the spot she'd put her bags.
It's all asinine.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:55:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ.... manspreading and male privilege are NOT some conspiracy on the behalf of men to control the minds of women with sinister intent. Nobody is arguing that. You are setting up complete strawmen.
There is no conspiracy, hardly any conscious intent. It's about unconscious bias and behaviours.
davou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:18:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's about unconscious bias and behaviours.
Uh-huh
There is no conspiracy, hardly any conscious intent.
Right
manspreading and male privilege are
Voila, there we go. If were going to talk about un-concious bias and behaviours, hows about the one that genderises negative behaviour so that somehow, EVEN when I have a photo of an ethnic woman doing what you're talking about, something worth getting up in arms about needs the word man tacked onto the front of it and a full week of twitter and tumbler backlash and an ad-campaign in the largest city in the world?
This is an issue of assholes; an asshole has a stink about it, an ugly brown color, but no fucking gender identity.
You are setting up complete strawmen.
Okay, maybe I am hyperbolizing a bit to make my point; but
See, itโs so much worse than just being rude. Itโs the patriarchy.
Fucking par for the course in this issue. 'The patriarchy' is the fucking godzilla and superman of straw men.
A woman who spreads her legs, and takes up another seat with her bags..... How "a little bit rude' of her.
A man spreads his legs; What a fucking oppressive shit head, programmed by the patriarchy to be a cancer on society.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to sit down and opted to stand on that bus carrying by bag full of exercise equipment so any old people or infirmed who got on would have seats available. The old cunt with her groceries not only didn't liberate the seat she had, but actually moved shit from the dirty ass floor up onto the benches when she had the chance too. Excuse me for not wanting to buy into this bullshit for even a second; I'm not going to be silently vilified because I happen to carry a penis and identify to my birth gender. She was an asshole, I am not an asshole, and neither of us predispositions to being/notbeing fucking turds has the tiniest Iota to do with our sex, any social conspiracy, stawrmen, entitlement of race of gender, or anything like that.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's about unconscious bias and behaviours.
Uh-huh
'The patriarchy' is the fucking godzilla and superman of straw men.
If you're not going to even acknowledge the plane fact that people have unconscious biases then you are not dealing in a fact based world. Also if you're going to deny patriarchy when government and law, science and engineering, business, and media are dominated by men then we really have nothing to talk about.
EVEN when I have a photo of an ethnic woman doing what you're talking about...
Since, neither of us has hard data on this, all we have is duelling anecdotes. The fact that you found one "ethnic" woman (Btw, why is she "ethnic" and you are not?) doing this means little. My anecdote; everyday on the subway I see men and boys taking up more room with their bags and knees. I sometimes see women do this.
davou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're not going to even acknowledge the plane fact that people have unconscious biases then you are not dealing in a fact based world.
Fine, okay you want me to acknowlege unconcious biases; hows about we adress the fact that women are HUGELY more biased by in group dynamics than men.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:30:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
women are HUGELY more biased by in group dynamics than men.
"Experiments 2 and 3 found pro-female bias to the extent that participants automatically favored their mothers over their fathers or associated male gender with violence, suggesting that maternal bonding and male intimidation influence gender attitudes. "
So part of this is that women are more likely to fear men because of male intimidation and associated violence.
Also, while this is interesting it doesn't translate into domination of government, media, and the economy. That is what patriarchy is. So unconscious male bias has a far greater impact than female bias.
hows about you address the fact that men outnumber women over 100 to 1 in jobs that are dangerous?
Could it have something to do with the fact that women and girls are not socialized to pursue dangerous, physical work. And that those workplaces are male dominated and not welcoming to women?
Or the fact that more women enter university in social sciences than Stem fields?
Because STEM is dominated by men. It is often not a friendly place for women.
Hows about the fact that in parts of the world, rules exist to guarantee women get jobs even if they are vastly less qualified than men, simply to fill out quotas?
Source?...
You know what, I'll accept this for the purposes of discussion. You know why this happens? Because men dominate these professions and this is a measure to combat that.
Or that women do not have to actually acheive competency in a job in order to get it.
Source?
Or the fact that despite all this push for equality, women still don't fight in the front lines, and are only gradually being introduced starting next year.
So, the male dominated military has consistently resisted gender integration so that this problem is only being fixed now and this is women's fault?
All you are doing is providing more examples of social and legal discrimination against women.
But, I have yet to see you reference anything that rebukes the domination of political, media, and economic power that men enjoy.
Which gender has higher representation in government? Which has higher representation on corporate boards? So which gender makes the laws and controls the economy?
davou ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:49:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
also, producing stats on this issue is the last thing I want. We shouldn't be humoring the idiots who've made an academic career of being offended and oppressed by secretive councils of gendered Illuminati who control 13.5 inches too much of the bus bench.
I wan't those peoples career's to fail; not to see them paid for work that makes us all stupider.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok this is where the conversation stops. The TLDR of your post is, "Even if there was evidence, I don't want to see it because I personally dislike the people how would gather it."
I only know how to have conversations based on evidence. Your personal prejudices are not a basis for finding the truth of things.
davou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The TLDR of your post is, "Even if there was evidence, I don't want to see it because I personally dislike the people how would gather it."
no, the TLDR of what I said is;
Studying manspreading academically would be like funding a government study entitled 'Boogymen and their high tendency to be black or hispanic'
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:45:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
--4. The train is obviously not full. So what?
That is not obvious. We see four seats. The two on each end are taken and the guy in the middle is taking two for himself. If this bench is representative of the rest of the train car then yes the train is busy. At this point, he needs to free up that seat.
And I've seen men and boys throw their backpacks, bags, briefcase on the seat next to them. What I have never seen is women taking more room by spreading their legs.
Also, if we are trading anecdotes. When the train starts filling up I usually see women moving their bags to free up the seats. I never see a set of four men on a six person bench adjusting themselves to free up the extra seats.
Let's look at the picture on the right. The guy on the right is being an a-hole. The guy left is showing consideration of his fellow train riders with his legs pointed out in front of him.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
better yet, why are the seats designed for children and petite women? Why don't they widen the seats more so people can sit...won't that ease up the manspreading?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:47:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, we have to spend millions of dollars to refit subways and buses because some men refuse to sit with their legs straight in front?
It's not a hard ask. Just sit with your legs at a 90 degree angle to the bench.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when they're even shaming people who keep their knees even at shoulder width, we should relook things. subway seats don't fit a normal man's shoulder width...
Also, why can't someone just ask to sit next to the person? It's not difficult to say, "is this seat taken" and then sit and make your own space. People need to be less passive and more aggressive. Aggressive isn't taking a photo and complaining on Facebook and doing nothing about it. it's pathetic
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
when they're even shaming people who keep their knees even at shoulder width,
No one is doing that. Sitting with one's legs at a 90 degree angle to the bench, that is what is being asked for. It isn't hard.
Also, why can't someone just ask to sit next to the person? It's not difficult to say
Why should anyone have to ask for other people to act considerately? They should just do it. Also, a key component to living in a large city is not bothering strangers and minding your own business. So yes, it is difficult to ask strangers on the subway.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
half the photos online are guys that barely have their legs spread.
This whole manspreading fad is so ridiculous.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you serious? Each of those photos shows a guy with his knees spread out, taking up way more space than just one seat.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It genuinely hurts to keep my knees together as a guy. I think it has to do with the way our pelvises are formed. Women's hip sockets face more forward while males are angled outward. Here is a link about our "Q" angles. Men's legs generally go straight down and out...women's legs generall taper together towards the knees. When you sit, it's only natural that a 6' man bench designed for someone that is 5'8" is going to have his knees up much higher, and the hips will open the legs more.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:52:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It genuinely hurts to keep my knees together as a guy.
Nobody is asking for that. Just sit with your legs at 90 degree to the bench seat. Knees are not pushed together and other people's space isn't taken.
qdobe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what I see more often than that? Women putting their purses on the seat next to them and never giving that seat up to anyone, even on a crowded bus. Sorry to relax my legs a little bit, but it should be more infuriating that women put their bags and purses on multiple seats and never offer those seats up. I bring my backpack with me often and I put it on the ground in between my legs so that someone can sit next to me without having to ask. Also, I am a tall person, seats on mass transit are for avg. height people and because of that, my legs to not prop up naturally and it is incredibly uncomfortable to keep my legs closed. The bus is designed for shorter legs and men are statistically taller than women, who have an easier time with the height of the seats. what do you want? Address woman putting their huge bags on seats and never giving those seats up before you want me to no longer relax on the bus because you are offended by my legs...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:54:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:21:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The proper response is to wrap your arms around their waist and say "Hey baby."
docfiery ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:37:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one that hears this and instantly thinks of The Futurama episode "Amazon Women In The Mood..."
Did they use the Femputer to come up with these terms?
The next person who uses them will be faced with death by Snu-snu.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:35:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's very likely. Those terms are fucking ridiculous and so are the "issues" they refer to. They remind me of that one eco-feminist from the one Futurama movie who calls a man's hands "mands", a space they're (the feminists) currently occupying the "femises" instead of the premises etc.
/u/Universal-Cereal-Bus brings up a great point. If "man-spreading" is such a problem then "woman-bagging" should be given just as much attention if feminists possess any faculty for logic and desire actual equality at all.
My one cousin is a bit of a feminist. Too bad her most recent post on Facebook was about how there hasn't been a female lead actor over 45 in the top 100 grossing movies each year in the past 7 years. Because that's the best cause to spread information about right now. Smh.
Too bad her most recent post on Facebook was about how there hasn't been a female lead actor in the top 10 grossing movies each year in the past 40 years.
That's not even remotely true. Tell her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, "mansplaining" is a perfectly apropos term when some dude is trying to explain a woman's own experiences to her, or says dumb shit like "well, have you thought of just ignoring street harassment?"
You can substitute based on context, though! "Momsplaining," aka "As a mother, this is why you are wrong", "wealthsplaining," aka "why don't poor people just go back to school and get better jobs," "agesplaining," aka "Back in my day when I was your age I had two cars, four kids and a house, you're just lazy!" Etc. etc. etc. You can even have womansplaining, like "Yeah getting kicked in the balls blah blah TRY GIVING BIRTH!"
'Splaining is quite a useful term for basically any time someone who has no idea what you're going through because they've never lived it or clearly don't understand the situation wants to tell you all about how to react to it, why what you're doing is wrong, and feed you obvious solutions as though you'd never thought of them yourself.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:45:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:56:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm being trolled here. Air Conditioning is what I initially thought. How can AC possible be construed as sexist? Is it because some women prefer room temperature to be slightly warmer?
Supposedly in office buildings it's too cool at 70f degrees because men are comfortably warm in their suits while women who wear less clothing and show more skin generally are cold. It's sexist because women shouldn't have to bring cardigans to work. Never mind that men ussually have to wear that shit and are hotter than hell to and from work during the summer time. If I could wear shorts and a tshirt to work I would. Women generally can wear way more options in tye workplace.anyway.
Goonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriosly... If someone says any of that, I look for the nearest exit.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:55:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, exactly. Why do people think that a term that was stolen from a documentary about men's prison is applicable in first world countries where even RAINN has voiced it's opposition to the outrage culture behind it.
I don't really know what you're talking about and I'm not sure why my original comment got downvoted but I heard the words Rape and Culture together and that kind of surprised me.
I think because it looks like you're trying to defend rape culture. Wrong place wrong time.
Rape Culture is the idiotic idea that, despite rape being viewed as one of the worst things you can do, having harsher punishments than most crimes, and socially destroying people who get accused of it (guilty or not), rape is seen as acceptable in first world countries and encouraged by our culture.
Yes, there are shitty INDIVIDUALS who think that. That is absolutely demonized in our culture however.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:44:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The people who believe those things are usually truly morally bereft, idiotic people who think they're entitled to have sex with anyone they want, whenever they want, regardless of the other person's feelings/desires. You hear about them a lot but there aren't as many of them as you might think.
Yes, I know, but the original comment implied that people like this don't even exist.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:08:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I didn't quite gather that that had been implied but I might have missed it.
Well, rape isn't exactly "accepted" in Western culture but it is probably joked about/jokingly dismissed more than it should be.
That being said SJW's who freak out about the topic of rape and think that it's generally accepted are being insane and over-simplifying a very complex and disturbing issue/mindset by demonising people and society as nothing but vicious sex maniacs and indifferent animals.
A small minority of people (men and women) would rape someone but thinking/fearing that most people are like that and that society quietly approves/encourages it is complete madness as well.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:30:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To add to that I think the idea of suggesting there is a rape culture in the United States tries to make this a societal problem when it's really that a few terrible people are the problem due to some mental quirk. It's not that rapists learn from schools and their local communities that it's alright to drug or beat someone into submission and rape them.
You are aware that not all rape is a case of a deranged crazy guy in a dark alley beating up a woman and holding her down while raping her, right? Rape is when someone is coerced into having sex they don't want to have. The method of coercion can vary greatly, and isn't always just physical force. It happens all the fucking time.
I don't know about you, but it's disturbing and incredibly sad how many women I personally know who have been victims of sexual assault/rape, where a guy felt entitled to the girl's body, for a variety of vague reasons that are all, on some level, socially reinforced ("she was totally flirting with me!", "Did you see how she was dressed? You know she was asking for it."). You can see this general mentality expressed in many ways- guys who sleep with a bunch of girls are awesome, but girls who sleep with a lot of guys are sluts....it's considered "indecent" for a mother to breastfeed her kid in public, or shit, for a teen's bra strap to show from under her top...The only point of having that female character in that movie was to act as a sexual reward for the macho-man protagonist...
There are these undeniable, pervasive ideas that all collectively lead to a large portion of the population not believing that the girl who never consented to sex with her boyfriend wasn't actually raped- because come on! He's her boyfriend! She owes him sex. No. She doesn't.
So yeah, rape culture is a real thing. And it doesn't mean that schools are instructing men to don trench coats and sneak around in empty alleys with a bottle of Benadryl and a switchblade, to pounce on unsuspecting women. It means that a lot of people think that mutual, expressly given consent isn't required for sex. Even though that is the definition of rape when mutual consent isn't present.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:30:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are aware that not all rape is a case of a deranged crazy guy in a dark alley beating up a woman and holding her down while raping her, right? Rape is when someone is coerced into having sex they don't want to have. The method of coercion can vary greatly, and isn't always just physical force. It happens all the fucking time.
I don't think anything I said would indicate that I think that.
It means that a lot of people think that mutual, expressly given consent isn't required for sex.
Because it's not, and that isn't a rape culture. If I'm on the couch with a girl I'm seeing and we start feeling each other up and making out, or I make a move first or she makes a move first, and then we have sex. At no point did either of us expressly give consent. I didn't ask, "may I kiss you now" "may I insert my penis into your vagina" she didn't ask for it or say "is it alright if I touch your penis and insert it into my vagina." That's not rape, that's normal human interaction in the context of a relationship.
And you say earlier that the reasons rapists feel entitled to a woman's body and hold themselves above the law are social reinforced. That's not true at all! These:"she was totally flirting with me!", "Did you see how she was dressed? You know she was asking for it." Are not socially accepted or reinforced. Except for maybe that last one, if and only if the person is literally asking for sex, in which case that wouldn't be rape, obviously.
Furthermore, it being considered rude for a woman to breast feed her kid in public isn't rape culture, the double standard for sleeping around isn't rape culture (and I think is pretty overblown, but it largely depends on whatever social group that you belong to), and a teen having her bra strap showing from under her top being 'indecent' (which this is the first I'm hearing about it) is not rape culture, and having female characters that fall for a male protagonist is not rape culture. You're confusing 'rape culture' for a bunch of things you personally happen to not like.
Rape cultures absolutely exist, in places like Sudan, or the US prison system. But to say that society of the US is a rape culture is idiotic.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:27:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There are a lot of people"
If there actually are people who think it's okay to rape people because they wore an evocative outfit, I don't think there are many of them.
You're using the existence of a made up bunch of lunatics to argue for the existence of another made up thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The way they're used in first world countries basically does render them useless. Patriarchy is a theory in the same way Creationism is, and adherents of it use the same basic methodology. Rape Culture might be useful in describing third world countries and the way male prisoners are viewed by society, but not the way third wave feminists use it and privilege + power is a redefinition used to excuse shitty behavior on the part of the people who use it, every time.
Patriarchy is not at all a theory. Look at any picture of a group of people in power. They're mostly men. Read the bible's comments on men's roles vs. women's. Patriarchal ideas have been used all throughout history and are still present today. Just because tumblrinas don't understand the concepts or you are averse to them doesn't make them untrue.
Rape culture, in my opinion, refers to ideas like "she was asking for it the way she dressed" which is a real thing people do believe and say.
I don't know exactly what "privelege + power" is. Is that a specific term that's always packaged together? I know what privilege is and I think it's a useful concept in some instances.
When I say patriarchy theory, I'm talking about patriarchy theory in gender studies which is a political ideology that has zero predictive power. As far as people in power go, it takes time for society to change. Given that not that long ago it wasn't common for women to even work the fact that we have women in office, as serious presidential candidates, women as CEOs of major companies, Oprah, etc... shows just how silly the theory is.
Of course there is still prejudice against women, but not on an institutional level the way there is against minorities and the poor.
Rape culture, in my opinion, refers to ideas like "she was asking for it the way she dressed" which is a real thing people do believe and say.
This is not a commonly held belief, this is not something held up as good by society. A few individuals ( I don't know a single person who thinks like this and I doubt you do either) do not make something a cultural phenomenon. Rape Culture isn't a first world problem. Unless you're talking about the way we treat men in prison, who obviously deserve funny male on male rape because they're criminals. Look at the way people even accused of being rapists are ACTUALLY treated versus the way we view prison rape. It's not even remotely on the same level. All you have to do is look at the false allegations that have been popping up in the news recently where even when the accused were vindicated people were still standing behind ostracizing them. As I've mentioned elsewhere look up what RAINN has to say about rape culture, because it's apt.
I don't know exactly what "privelege + power" is. Is that a specific term that's always packaged together? I know what privilege is and I think it's a useful concept in some instances.
This is more gender studies terminology where to be sexist or racist you must have privilege+power. Which, to them, means only white men can be racist or sexist.
I agree that privilege can be a useful term on it's own. If intersectional feminism actually did what it proclaimed it would be a useful and effective movement. HOWEVER, since they instead focus on scientists wearing shirts that offend them instead of things like privatized prisons and sex slavery it's basically useless.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:50:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I accept that a Patriarchy isn't a theory, that it just describes a power structure where men rule, but I think the idea is that the theories surrounding patriarchies and the values assigned to them are generally ridiculous.
As for rape culture, western society absolutely does not believe "she was asking for it the way she dressed" society completely demonizes rape, as it rightfully should. Some statistically small number of people have something wrong with them or have somehow had experiences that give them the impression that either rape is alright, or it's worth it because they can get away with it and they don't care about other people. But to suggest that that's a societal problem is silly and I think it's a red herring that gets in the way of actually solving the problem. It's the sort of idea that leads affirmative consent contracts and 'don't rape' seminars. People already know not to rape, some people don't care, and there will always be people like that, who don't care about the rules or societal pressures, so catching them, developing technology and practices that allows them to be identified following an attack, better police protocols etc. those are the ways to fix it.
Privilege + Power is a way SJW types redefine racism and sexism so they can get get away with being racist but still maintaining some claim to a moral high ground. As for privilege, it's obvious that some people are more privileged, but for me, the problem is that it's a generalization that lacks nuance, when really it depends on people's individual circumstances. I also don't like the idea of ranking people based off of genetic features.
but I think the idea is that the theories surrounding patriarchies and the values assigned to them are generally ridiculous.
That's pretty vague. I'm sure that every group has dumbfuck ideas thrown around so I'm not surprised that this happens with sociological issues either. Care to give examples?
It's the sort of idea that leads affirmative consent contracts and 'don't rape' seminars. People already know not to rape, some people don't care, and there will always be people like that, who don't care about the rules or societal pressures
The thing is, and I'm not saying I know how to solve this problem, that there are societal pressures in certain groups that actually push people to commit rape. And i'm not talking about kidnapping a stranger and duct taping their hands together kind of rape. It's more like when frat guys brag about getting girls drunk and fucking them or by coercing them into sex in a non-physical way. I just saw a video yesterday of some frat chanting "no means yes, yes means anal". Maybe they're just making a joke, but I don't think these are the type of people who would give a shit about consent.
I think it's a cultural problem and it does require some form of education preferably before people are old enough to have these ideas engrained.
Privilege + Power is a way SJW types redefine racism and sexism so they can get get away with being racist but still maintaining some claim to a moral high ground. As for privilege, it's obvious that some people are more privileged, but for me, the problem is that it's a generalization that lacks nuance, when really it depends on people's individual circumstances. I also don't like the idea of ranking people based off of genetic features.
Okay, yeah, I know what you're talking about. I don't think it makes sense to define racism and sexism that way so I agree.
With regard to privilege though, it may not be nuanced enough, but few concepts are. I think it should be a starting point of the conversation, not the end. I also don't think it has anything to do with ranking and anyone who tries to use it that way probably doesn't understand it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty vague. I'm sure that every group has dumbfuck ideas thrown around so I'm not surprised that this happens with sociological issues either. Care to give examples?
I accept that that's vague, sorry. I'm referring specifically to the idea that the patriarchy is responsible for everything bad. Not only women's gender roles, but men's as well. And not just when men are advantaged, it's also responsible for them being disadvantaged. The draft, men not being able to talk about their emotions, high suicide rates among men, etc. That's all the patriarchy too, and this idea that we need to topple the patriarchy, it's all bullshit. I'll totally accept that we should aim to have a government that represents the sexes and races as equally as possible. The patriarchy has become this boogie man that you can claim is responsible for anything you don't like. It's a red herring that makes it difficult to seriously figure out the cause of and solution to actual problems affecting either sex or gender.
I'll also accept the idea that some frats are full of date rapists, and again, I know it's not tying someone up and throwing them in a van etc. I'm a young adult, I've been through college, I've had friends of mine who have been raped, I have had friends of mine be falsely accused of rape (which I know is a false accusation because I was hanging out with them that entire night). I don't think there are many societal pressures pushing people to rape, have sex definitely, but rape is not something society rewards. Little pockets of it might, certain fraternities might, certain gangs might, but society at large does not and it's crazy to argue that it does.
And let me explain that coercion means forcing someone to do something. It can be the threat of violence or blackmail, something, but it's still making someone do something they don't want to do. And personally, I think women are just as responsible as men and have all the same mental faculties, and I don't think a woman deliberately consuming alcohol, getting drunk and then having sex with someone she wouldn't have normally had sex with is rape. If someone is incapacitated because they're so addled with drugs or alcohol, then yes, obviously rape, that's forcing yourself on someone. If I go to a cocktail party with a girl I'm seeing and we both get loaded on like 6 drinks a piece, and we go home and have sex, that is not rape. The thing about frat guys bragging about getting girls drunk and fucking them, that's maybe a little gross, but it's not rape and it's not rape culture.
As for privilege, yeah some people are privileged. My roommate's family is egregiously wealthy, my family isn't. He is more privileged than me in that respect. But you can't point to him and say everyone who vaguely resembles or looks like that guy has had every benefit that he has had and they all live too good a life in comparison to everyone else and so something needs to be done about this.
I also don't like the idea that privilege is something that needs to be stripped from someone. We should aim for everyone to be elevated to that position of advantage, not knocking people off of it. And again, I think focusing on privilege is a red herring that distracts from the actual issues of class and race and sex inequality.
"I can't eat gluten." If you have Celiac disease that's fine, but seriously, I find myself thinking so much less of people who tell me this.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:46:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. Good friend of mine has celiac and his diet is fucked up. I get so excited whenever someone says they can't eat gluten cause i always will follow with "oh, you have Celiac disease?" The 'what the hell are you talking about' look on their faces usually answers my question.
My tests for celiac came back inconclusive, but I have IBS and my doctor has told me not to eat it. There are more reasons than celiac for people to avoid it, although I do judge people who decide by themselves to go gluten free because its "healthier" and then proceed to eat gluten free oreos and cake.
hoIIie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a server, this.
Because this sort of situation happens a lot where I'll tell them what they ordered has gluten, and they'll say "Oh... Well, that's fine." UM OK
Fuck those people for making me explain on a regular basis that I'm a vegetarian who doesn't eat fish (also known as a vegetarian)
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:44:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's called pescatarian. It is a real thing. What is the problem with that? If someone who is a pescatarian says that, most people go "huh?". It's easier to just say what you said, since the average person has the critical thinking skills of zucchini.
xESTEEM ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:11:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know what a pescatarian is. I'd rather they said they were meat eaters but only ate fish, not vegetarians. Fishes arent animate legumes, so calling yourself a vegetarian if you eat what is clearly an animal and meat just makes zero sense
jnip ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:18:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to understand why fish are not considered animals. I've never understood it. My step sister is a vegan totally, except eats fish. Never made any sense to me.
There's no possible way to say that the only meat you eat is fish without sounding either pretentious or stupid. Like if you say you're a "pescatarian", you sound like I pretentious college hipster. But if you say "I'm vegetarian, but I eat fish", you just sound kinda dumb.
I was at one point in my life, a pescatarian, and this was always irritating.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:46:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So both ways of describing it are bad? How is someone who chooses not to eat most meat, but eats fish, supposed to describe it then?
Want an even more fun challenge? I'm paleo, slightly modified (I refuse to give up my potatoes, they're too good for you), because I just enjoy the foods. What's a good way to describe "I eat like a hunter-gatherer" that doesn't make someone think you're crazy? I've never escaped a 45 minute long conversation when people find out, and it's really not such an odd diet.
"I don't mean anything, but...." is used alot, its like "I don't mean any harm" I feel like if what you're aaying could be taken offensively, then either don't say it, or own it!
It makes me instantly think your a fake person and I hate fake people.
Anyone who denies that the American Civil War was fought about slavery should actually read South Carolina(the first state to succeed) Declaration of Secession
Because why should you get paid to spread your legs and pop out a brat?
Calling myself a stay-at-home mom is not the same as demanding pay for it. You might say it's demanding that you respect my time, or that I'm active and productive though I don't have an income, but I don't see how you can claim I'm demanding to be paid just by saying it's my job.
Also most stay at home mums do it as an excuse to not work.
Or an excuse not to pay for full-time childcare and housekeeping?
Also childcare actually requires an education.
Nonsense; children have been cared for by absolute idiots throughout history, and some even turned out well as a result.
S-BRO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well getting paid kinda defines what's a job and what isn't, tell you what I'll be a stay at home plumber and fix pipes in my own house all day.
You'll never convince anyone there's that much need for an active plumber at your own house. Are you saying that a house with two kids doesn't have a constant need for active childcare and active housekeeping?
S-BRO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:23:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are children too young for school, there are fewer school days in a year than the average professional work-year, and there are usually fewer hours in a school day than in a professional workday.
It seems like you really, really want to believe that Every. Single. Unemployed parent is just a fundamentally failed person. Why does this belief mean so much to you?
S-BRO ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:36:56 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:04:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "like" more than two times in a sentence
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:32:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really like saying like, but I like it more than I like liking things on facebook.
MantisMB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's very hard to understand what people are saying.
"Like, it's like, 30 times more than like stuff you want." What?
My favorite is this gem, "It's like, [something]." Do you mean it is [something], or that it is similar to [something]?
Not-so-humble bragging at its finest. Oh look at me I just like to give a can of coke to a homeless person because I just believe that we should help them all. No, you're trying to convince people that you're such a little angel.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:29:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One thing that stuck with me from elementary school is the sign that said, "Character is what you do when nobody is watching." People who advertise their charitous actions don't seem to understand that.
Exactly. It's hard to criticise though, because although they're doing it for the wrong reason (vanity/looking like a good person) they nevertheless are doing a good thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit, I was looking for the right word but spellcheck just suggested "chariot."
Thanks.
Isaius35 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:41:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yea, Pedestrians always have the right of way!"
-Yea, I'd love to bring that up after painfully getting hit by the car I could have easily avoided by being cautious of when to cross a road!
_Gideon_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:01:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't teach women to dress appropriately, teach men not to rape." I mean I'm all for equality and shit but what the fuck?
Point 1, There are no "how to not rape" classes, we just all know it's not cool to fuck someone who doesn't want it. Nobody taught me that raping is bad I just kind of know.
point 2, women can rape too. It happens, and even worse, its difficult for dudes to get help after the fact.
And point 3, fuck you if you say this.
EDIT: Punctuation, spelling, grammar, and all that good shit.
"good vibes". Shut the fuck up you lame wannabe pseudo hippie. It's not a glamorous life style. Stop pretending.. You hardly give a shit about the earth.
idk man maybe that applies to the people you know but all the people i know who say this are like hippie, all-natural, vegan, one-with-the-earth type people. i imagine the people you're talking about are like those at coachella dressed head to toe in H&M and body paint though.
The latter is exactly what I'm talking about. The former I'm totally down with (my brother is that way completely). But the coachella people (for lack of a better term) are the people I truly despise.
Ugh, I heard this for the first time a few days a go and I swear I had a mini stroke or something. shudders
OhHiGCHQ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:09:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's political correctness gone mad."
49% of the time it's people being considerate to a group you vaguely don't like but don't want to admit it. 50% of the time it's a quote taken out of context and mashed up into a rumour that's bullshit, 2% of the time it actually is.
Keevtara ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:10:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
49% of the time it's people being considerate to a group you vaguely don't like but don't want to admit it. 50% of the time it's a quote taken out of context and mashed up into a rumour that's bullshit, 2% of the time it actually is.
With a one percent margin of error.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:38:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, but "privilege" isn't the absence of problems, or the idea that your whole life has been all flowers and sausages-- it's the idea that there are certain disadvantages that you won't have to deal with because of who you are.
Think about it this way-- would you be 100% okay with waking up tomorrow as a black man instead of a white one?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd probably be freaked the fuck out, but provided nothing else really changed (ie. I don't have to go through my rolodex and explain how I've been turned into a black guy), I probably wouldn't be to miffed.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:00:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I think that will be sufficient, Ms. I'm Not Racist And My Best Friend Was Black and Therefore the Term White Privilege Is Racist and My Entire Comment History Is About How, Statistically, Black People Are Awful.
Because I'm white and I'm not intentionally blinding myself to the fact that no matter what I've been through I still had it easier than someone who went through the same shit but was black in America.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That isn't even close to the definition of privilege. Obviously white people can have problems, and some white people have harder lives than some black people. But a black person with the exact same circumstances would be worse off than you because of the fact that on top of those problems he also has to deal with living in a society that sees black people in a less favorable light. It isn't trying to minimize or ignore your problems, just saying "hey black people still have it pretty rough."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So since nobody on the planet except for debatably identical twins share the exact same circumstances, why not abandon the idea of white privilege and try to be a bit more nuanced in who you demonize for something they didn't deliberately do.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that isn't the way it is used often. It has been bastardized (often, not exclusively) to some minorities assuming they have intrinsically had it worse off then their counterpart without any investigation whatsoever.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that's rich. The person who posted a few hundred words yesterday about how fucked up and stupid black people are is in here saying how SHE has been oppressed and discriminated against. If you're gonna bitch about "having to look over my shoulder and wonder who's going to be the next person to let me know I'm less than they are" Maybe you should start with posting less shit like this.
When I was getting divorced I had to meet with my ex wife's lawyer to sign something. He started things off by saying "Let's get a light on this situation" while turning the light on in his office. ๐
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people end a sentence by saying the word PERIOD! As if that makes their point irrefutable.
salty914 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can be a bitch/asshole but deep down I really care about my friends and family"
fuck off
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By rights [I should be entitled to this] or [someone should have done this]. No, the world doesn't revolve around how you think it should work for you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, I've used this tons of times. What's wrong with it? If I'm saying something about science I want to make it clear that I'm not any kind of authority and people shouldn't trust me too much if someone more knowledgeable comes along to answer the question.
See, they're not saying they regret that your application was unsuccessful - obviously they couldn't care less. They just regret that they have to take the time and resources to inform you.
"Jesus says..." or "The bible says..." I know I'm about to hear to some religious based discriminatory bullshit or some meaningless, empty platitudes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, and "disliking them strongly" is a harsh way to put it, but bad grammar, spelling, and sentence structure makes me lose a bit of respect for people, regardless of the platform of communication. I wouldn't consider myself a "grammar nazi" as some put it. I'm not super nit-picky, but when people don't even put effort forth in making their sentences structured well, I have trouble taking them seriously (even in text messages).
Incur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a phrase recently started in young culture to mean that something is perfect or "on point". It began with people saying my eyebrows are "on fleek", I believe in a vine.
Have you heard about our Lord and savior Jesus Christ?
sdreal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pray for you." I understand this is meant to be a nice gesture, but all I hear is "I will do nothing to help you." At least be honest and say something like, "My thoughts are with you during this time."
Responding to me thanking a store clerk, cashier, or waitress for their assistance,"Don't thank me, thank Jesus! Now you have a blessed day". Nope! I was thanking YOU, not the figurehead of your religion, thank you very much!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck off. If you're gonna offend me, at least have the balls to say it outright and not hide behind some meaningless phrase. I respect people more who come out and say how they feel honestly.
"I'm just a blunt person, so I say what I feel like."
There is a difference between honest and blunt. And a difference between being blunt and an asshole. I can't stand someone who is the asshole side of blunt.
Basically people that have an excuse for everything and it is NEVER their fault. Own up to it, learn from it and move on. Tell me you messed up and I'll understand because to err is human. But to lay blame is a sign of childishness.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I'm pro [whatever].'
Usually someone that says this is really stupid. Life isn't fucking baseball, where you're on a team, and only one side matters. Shit is far more complex than you think.
wildsoda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason."
(Especially when said to someone who has just lost someone to a tragically young death. I wanted to punch their teeth in when they said that to me.)
kbx41 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"methinks"
Everytime I hear that word I instantly lose respect for whoever said it.
sab1432 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I hear someone say that, I automatically have the feeling they're a shitty person, probably because they have to say that because people judge them for doing stupid shit.
I don't get why people think that using this phrase before saying something racist, doesn't make them racist. If they weren't racist, they wouldn't even be thinking what they were about to say to begin with.
Or maybe, gasp just maybe, we live in a society of easily offended social justice warriors who want to twist everything everyone ever says into a racist statement, and therefore "I'm not racist but" is a compulsive statement in reaction to such.
Nah, that's too reasonable; clearly everyone on the planet is secretly racist.
dtvhr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The term 'You should buy me a drink because I'm beautiful/cute/otherwise I'm leaving'
Sorry love, unless its your birthday I'm not buying, and all that makes me think of you is that you're an entitled drinker.
If a person does something or says something super douchy and then sees someone is offended "Oh I was just kidding" Dead to me
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The non-apology: "I'm sorry you feel that way"
From Wikipedia: "It most commonly entails the speaker saying that he or she is sorry not for a behavior, statement or misdeed, but rather is sorry only because a person who has been aggrieved is requesting the apology, expressing a grievance, or is threatening some form of retribution or retaliation."
What? Somehow in one sentence you turn me into the bad guy, make yourself the good guy and I would only be doing the right thing if I were to do what you want? Some people...
A fact isn't something you feel, it's something you THINK. Which means that, unlike with things you feel (like cold, or sad, or full, or that you didn't like Fantastic Four) you have a responsibility to justify why you think it using observations and/or logic.
oncie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you spelled Fagtastic four wrong.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can guarantee that you're an ignoramus if you believe that it's true of every single person who says it without exception. Sometimes, people just saying it because ignorant, easily offended people lkie you make it your life's ambition to twist everything people say into being about race.
Joestac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So, the other day, I kicked my dog..."
I'm very strongly opposed to animal abuse. I believe every animal abuser should have they're asshole bleached, hydrochloric acid poured down their throats, then lynched in the middle of grand central station. Yes Michael Vick, you too
I mean seriously, Everyone understands what separation is right?
IGetThis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, I have an uncle who thinks that it just means the state shouldn't interfere with the church, but not the other way around. And suggesting that is borderline blasphemy to him.
m3rcury6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it is what it is"
it doesn't have to be, how about you do something and not vaguely accept whatever might happen.
cjm182 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day..."
It's the end of the day!! Never any need to use this phrase. It's said on Jeremy Kyle enough for everyone.
"At the end of the day, yeah? There are two kids stuck in the middle, yeah?"
It's sickening.
korochan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i should tell you i'm a vegan."
because i will never stop hearing about it from that point on.
Fjorigar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Person: What kind of music do you like?
Me: Eh rock stuff
Person: Liek what?
Me: (ok whatever) ... well, I like metal
Person: Oh, do you listen to like that screamo stuff? haw haw
Me: (sigh, if we must explain further) I mean I like some harsh vocals if they're done well and the music is pretty melodic and exciting, especially extreme folk or power metal
Person: ... yeah idk...
[Later some other day]
Person: yeah he likes screamo music
TL;DR Pretty much anyone who uses the word "screamo" makes me grit my teeth, furrow my brows, and avert my eyes
"You don't know true love unless you've had kids."
I'm sure your parents, spouse, or any of your close friends or other relatives would be very upset to hear that you believe you don't truly love any of them.
"Moths are so gross and ugly!"
I always show a photo of the Madagascar sunset moth, to which they always reply "That's a butterfly! I like butterflies because they're pretty! Moths are ugly!"
Do not spent time with these people.
ikorolou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At X company, we're a family."
Bullshit, no you're not. And if this how you treat family, I feel bad for your kids
Neapola ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...the _____ agenda."
Fuck that. There is no liberal agenda, gay agenda, female agenda, or whatever other racist, sexist, homophobic or nasty hateful excuse someone can come up with for justifying an us versus them mentality. People just want to be happy, healthy, loved, and they'd like a chance to succeed.
That whole "it's so messed up that football players make more than troops!!"
Maybe it's because football players are incredibly talented and the NFL actually makes an enormous profit as opposed to the billions of spending that the military does while bringing in no money in return. There's also millions of troops as opposed to just hundreds of pro NFL players
Anyone diagnosing themselves with PTSD, depression, anxiety and the like when in reality they clearly don't have it.
I've been noticing this especially with early teens
"Must be nice. You can't do that once you have kids."
I know that, motherfucker, that is exactly why I don't have any fucking kids. People act like I somehow struck the jackpot because I made a reasoned decision to not subject myself to the manic lifestyle of parenthood. I'm not lucky. I'm just smart. STFU!
WAKE UP PEOPLE/SHEEPLE.
Or when people share some extremely biased article on shitty ass facebook or call someone "brother" when they agree upon some extreme view.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless...
(yea, I know the dictionaries have now thrown in the towel and are calling it a word due to common use but it's STILL the mentally disabled bastard child of Regardless and Irrespective that people use to try to make themselves sound intelligent and all I hear is "I'm a dumbass...")
BigStick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cue "I hate drama!"
Cue "No offense but..."
Cue "Vaccines cause autism."
It's the same shit every time people.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can you just..."
This is a sneaky bastard attempt to trojan horse you a difficult or socially rude request. Usually also said in the fake nice way that's a hairs breadth from passive aggressive offence if you can them on it.
Mmm. Office work.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin"
Stop it. Just stop it.
__snooch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
Sekai_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Boys will be boys! "
VG_JUNKY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bwware ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry I'm late, I had to stop for Starbucks."
alphalad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:12:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i was doing (insert whatever here) with the missus"
aName2NV ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I literally can't even."
Do you complete sentences, bro?
Whisper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wow, you're so edgy! /s"
No, motherfucker. That's what I think. Maybe you have opinions solely to impress other people, but I have opinions because of what I like, or what I think is true.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate those kinds of dogs; they'll rip your face off."
My sister's pit bull is the biggest, sweetest baby on the planet and wouldn't hurt a fly. Fuck you and your antiquated mindset. I will fight you for bully breeds' honor.
hard9649 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like beating my children
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"-insert anything here-"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes...A former roommates now ex used to say that all the time...and I died on the inside every time. She never laughed, just always smiled and said "Like lol."
"Oh, you think this is something? Well let me tell you how my past experience and the positions I've held make this current situation a joke, and I'm so much more qualified to talk about it and belittle you all, because I'm better than you."
2gudfou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say they don't like over used phrases or unoriginal things. Because I'm sure there are more people who go out of their way to brand something as unoriginal than there are people who use it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not trying to be a racist here, but..."
When I hear that, yeah, I know you're a racist and you haven't looked into the mirror lately.
sraperez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything with "squad." "OMG I can't wait to go back to school to see my squad." "#squadgoals." "My #squad" I am sick of it. And it's not because I don't have friends...
"Everything happens for a reason", unless you're not a hippyish middle class type then everything is pretty much chaotic as shit with little or no rhyme nor reason.
"Don't you know how to have a good time/fun?" when person is doing something completely self-centered that they consider to be fun, all the while ruining other peoples times.
"You people..." from anyone needing customer service/support. After working in some sort of customer support/client service role for more than 15 years, nothing irritates me more than when they say that phrase. Look dude, I just work here. This isn't some company whose sole existence is based around being "out to get you." Tell me politely why you're pissed, and I will do my best to fix it. 99% of the time that phrase comes up, they're a jack ass.
Papa_D ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people recently become interested in the gym or fitness and all they want to talk about is their sick "gains". Or when some one is slamming a large pizza and they decide that you need their diet and fitness advice.
Hash tag anything. A girl I work with hash tags all day. "OMG Mondays suck! #moresleepplzzzzz" "I'm hungry! #fatkid " Ugh
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"baby just fuck me raw"
no I will not fuck you raw. I've been practicing safe sex for the past 10 years and would not be where I am today if I was fucking every little slut raw.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm from <place>. And we do <stuff> <in some "better" way>."
And I just want to look at them and say: "Then why not go back there and save us the insufferable annoyance of your presence."
edit: I also like to slip into conversation with said person every so often: "Are you sure you're from <place>?" and "Don't worry guys... they're from <place>" or "Its cool... they're from <some random location>"
The last one is a personal favorite cause they feel compelled to correct you every time :)
Teerlys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do?
What do what you lazy fucker?!
djymm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Smile!" "You don't look happy" Does that ever work?
kuraewe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone refers to themselves or others via sex rather than man or woman. Like "as a female, I believe...." Or "were being typical males" it just makes me instantly lose respect for them and makes me want to just walk away from the convo
Mathesix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be praying for you." Yeah, because it helps...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine isn't a phrase, it's more of a noise people make. It's hard to describe, kind of like a clicking sound, but not as crisp or clear. I think it's made with the sides of one's tongue on the top, back molars in one's mouth. It aggravates me, I want to scream whenever I hear it.
Benisar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Adults who call their parents Mommy and Daddy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..."
Unless it is something about raising children or where to get the best deal on diapers this does not give you instant authority on every goddamn subject in the world.
spotries ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I want to speak to your manager", Bitch I AM the manager.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
No. You are not such a special fucking gem of a human being that you get to be a bitch whenever you want and act like it's justified so everybody should just accept it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's all good and well unless your worst is really bad and your "best" is just okay.
You mean like, because there's a plan for me or some shit? What an incredibly lazy and ignorant way of explaining away what you can't control and, worse yet, excusing yourself away from the things you can. Let alone letting your "nondemoninational" religious beliefs somehow justify atrocities. Get outta here with that feel-good Facebook bullshit.
NSYK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless.
biorad17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: The circleiest jerk that's ever been jacked
BigMurch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to kill people that say "For your FYI..." those mother fuckers. My mother says "It's a blessing in da'sky" but she wasn't born here so I can't get that annoyed.
"I'm not religious, I'm spiritual." What does that meeeaaaaan? As a religious studies major, emphasizing on modern american religion, it drives me insane.
I take it as meaning they don't associate with any established religion but believe in: a divine being(s), spirits, energy,etc. It's personal belief rather than having an actual dogma so it would be wrong to call it religion
It comes off as such a cop out. Where do you go from there? It is so not concrete and has no actual information. It has no specific meaning and people will often say it in this smug "look how enlightened I am" attitude when they are effectively saying nothing at all. It gives this anti-established-religion vibe but replaces an established religious dogma with nothing. It doesn't give an answer to the phenomena it is rejecting. As someone who has no affiliation to a specific dogma or religion, I totally get the reasons why one would say it and I used to say it too. The way I used to always use it was to try to quell arguments against my non-religious-affiliations. It was more of a "don't worry, I'm not totally unsaved, stop trying to convert me please". I stopped using it when I entered the field and realized what an empty statement it really was. Now when I say I was a religious studies major, people will often tell me this as though it is some interesting bit of information or that it will impress me...when it really tells me nothing at all. It is usually a red flag that you really haven't thought about religion much at all or really come to a meaningful stance on your place in that realm. Which is totally fine with me to be in that place...but the phrase "I'm spiritual, not religious" gives the impression that you have some real stance without backing that up with any meaningful ideas or beliefs. My assumption though is that if you actually have coherent thoughts on the subject, you'd have something a bit more communicative and interesting to say. I find it comparable to "I'm not part of a political party/ideology, but I have feelings about political issues." Okay, cool. That tells me nothing, but gives off the air that you are "above" political parties. Now tell me something you actually think or believe or have a stance on. Having said that, I am completely aware that this is mostly annoying to me, having an academic background in the field and am used to having discussions of belief systems, religious history, cultural phenomena, etc. in very clear discourse, so people thinking that throwing that vague sentence at me will impress me in some way just leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. I've heard it 100 too many times. Now if it's backed up with something thoughtful and coherent, I will probably get over my annoyance. To end, I am not arguing that someone that says that deserves my dislike. But so it goes.
When middle age white men with soft hands talk about how bad they are, usually using cliches. For example, some asshats in my office today
"Look out, because I am TRUOB-LE."
"Here comes Mr. Badguy himself!"
"Those two are trouble with a capital T."
Oh really, Frank? You're trouble? What makes you such a rouge, man? You use Donna's stapler without asking? THERE ARE DUDES THAT SNEAK COCAINE TO 12 YEAR OLD GIRLS TO GET THEM ADDICTED, FORCING THEM INTO A VISCOUS CYCLE OF DEPENDENCY IN ORDER TO TURN THEM INTO CHILD PROSTITUTES, DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT TROUBLE YOU SOFTASS DICKHOLE!!!!!!
Edit: Oh my God. I heard somebody refer to another department as "the wolf-pack" today. Please fucking kill me.
"Please advise" this happens all the fucking time in corporate America. Someone asks a question and then says please advise. God damn it. Yes I understand the purpose of the question. The please advise adds nothing.
Anyone who claims paranoid bullshit is real. Phones will give you cancer, cup noodles will give you cancer, or wifi will give you cancer. Because of the "toxins".
"I could care less." That means that you do care, which is exactly the reason you were annoying to speak English to begin with. Same with, "same difference."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When somebody is ordering food and says "I'm gonna do the ..."
koser22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work for budweiser, at least 3 times a day I hear someone come up and say, "you can put that in my truck! HAHAHA" then I muster up a fake laugh like I've never heard it before.
TheLuper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pray for them..." [used in a derogatory way]
lucasg20 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, they're all the same"
I sell parts for heavy machinery, I hear this every day from customers who don't know what the fuck they're talking about. THEY'RE NOT ALL THE FUCKING SAME.
jmhimara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My life is complete" after doing something mildly interesting.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Kill them all and let God sort them out." The rest of us are going to be sorted out, too. When that day comes, I want as little blood on my hands as possible, even from cheerleading.
"I don't pay attention to the news because it's too depressing." You are adding to the depression of the news for not standing up for things you believe in!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How a large amount of college kids refer to themselves as "alcoholics" in a laughing manner when it reality they have no idea what it is like to really deal with alcoholism... Granted there are some alcoholics in college but the term is definitely overused
So you are trying to say you are mature for your age but you are trying to package it different. Every time I hear this, I automatically think you are immature or you do nothing but sit around like an old lady.
Jughead- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a christian..."
Havok310 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't hate on that too much, it's very kind of them to give a clear indicator that "there's a 90% chance whatever flows out of my mouth next is something you're not going to want to listen to."
Saves a lot of time and frustration!
Jughead- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reason that it bothers me is that it is just a magic trump card for why their opinion is more important. It isn't what they think, they are speaking for god.
Havok310 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:06:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. When used in that context, which it more often than not is, it's awful. It's demeaning to others of their faith (regardless of which religion it is... doesn't have to be christian)
Jughead- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, it bothers me because when people say that they are claiming to speak for an entire religion, it is an attempt to make their personal opinion insulated from criticism.
Havok310 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not anti-Christian.
It's about being "anti people who talk like that", not "anti-Christian".
It doesn't matter which religion you swap out for the third word either.
I respect people more if they just start the sentence with whatever words would have followed those 3 words and let them stand on their own merit.
There's nothing good to come from those 3 words... either they're saying it to make themselves feel better compared to the listener, or because they don't want the listener to question their religious beliefs. It often comes off as pompous and tacky... no matter which religion.
I take it that you're on welfare and that you're pretty salty about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not so much that, but more the fact that we live in a (supposedly) civil society where sometimes expensive things need to be produced for the greater good. So yes, I do get salty when selfish people say "as a taxpayer..." because it almost always followed by a negative statement regarding something that probably would help a great number of people, say the ACA, while simultaneously forgetting about their own privilege, say the mortgage interest tax credit. Don't get me wrong, I love when I see my return for MI each year, but I also realize that there are sacrifices for living in a democratic society. Side note, it sounds like you started to dislike me once I mentioned that phrase. I win, haha.
Yes, but there's a big difference between a democratic society and a socialistic society. It's understandable that Peter gets a little pissed when some politician robs him in order to pay Paul.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So if people in said democratic society vote in politicians who are more socialistic, then it's still a case for the greater good. People can get cranky if they want, but if they want to change it they'll need to convince enough people to vote the other direction at the next election. Majority rules in a democratic society, so in order for it to become socialistic the majority people would need to vote for it (greater good). Also, taxes are not 'robbed ' from people; they are the price we pay to live in this place that we all voted for. I understand that people who use the phrase "as a taxpayer" interpret that differently. It's their right to see it that way, and its my right to disagree with that viewpoint.
jtmarmon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i'm not book smart i'm street smart"
no you're just fucking stupid
deamont ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair you can be fairly smart without a formal education, however most people who say this are just idiots :)
jtmarmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
absolutely. but usually people just use it to avoid presenting any evidence that they're not, in fact, blithering idiots.
"I going to need you to...." OK asshole, you got promoted, good on you. If you want me to do something just say "Do this," or if you want to be polite "Please do this." Quit copying stereotypes of shitty managers you saw in Office Space. Grow a pair, let them drop, and tell me what you want in a direct manner.
I mean technically cannabis is a plant, THC, CBD, etc are drugs. But when you are smoking weed.. It's to get high, so your consuming drugs stop Tryng to make it like it's not
"Refuse to sink" and it makes it 100 times worse if you have it tattooed with an anchor. That's like an anchors only purpose, to sink and stay sunk. Am I missing a deeper meaning to that or something?
In my head, I hear blood curdling screams, nails on a chalkboard, steam whistles, and a baby slowly going feet first into a blender. Everything that person has ever said is immediately discredited.
When someone tells me what other people think of them. It's as if they're trying to get you to think of them in a certain way and being way too on the nose about it. I'll form my own opinions on you, thanks. And so far, my opinion is that you're a cunt.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know, the political views of Donald Trump are starting to make a lot of sense to me."
At work when internal staff need me for something last minute because they have poor planning skills and don't know how to be proactive about anything and they end their email with:
"Your prompt attention to this matter is appreciated."
No it's not! That's just a Minnesota passive-aggressive way of saying "drop everything and do this now!"
Take a number and get in line. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
drjunkie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it is what it is" needs to die a horrible horrible death.
followed closely by media saying someone was arrested for "alleged murder", i've looked multiple times and i'm pretty sure that police cannot arrest someone for "alleged murder"
KWS595 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Black Lives Matter"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, go fuck yourself. I can't just magically wish my disabilities away if I just think happy thoughts about them. Which would be quite a feat in the first place some days, since one of my disabilities is severe depression. But that aside, that's not how disability fucking works. I could say that there's a silver lining to my fucked up brain, like that I have empathy or think realistically or at least I'm artistically talented or you know, whatever. Those things aren't untrue, but they also aren't much fucking help when my dumbass brain won't let me feel enough energy to get out of bed while simultaneously screaming at me about how much of a fuckup I am, etc. A positive attitude isn't going to make my heart stop racing during a panic attack. And that's only the stuff I deal with...lots of people have disabilities that they'd love to be rid of because life would be so much more pleasant. A good fucking attitude doesn't make up for having ability and independence taken from you.
"The only disability in life is a bad attitude" is really just another way of saying "I am completely ignorant of what it actually means to live with disability and choose to ignore the difficult parts because they're awfully unpleasant and inconvenient for me."
(Obligatory note that there are also people who have made peace with their disabilities and that's cool too. I still maintain that the aforementioned phrase is always ignorant and dismissive.)
"I like Donald trump and he would make a really good president."
You might as well just be truthful and say you like him because he vocalizes all the racist, sexist, misogynistic, ignorant hate speech you secretly agree with.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obama's ruining this country, Nobama, etc. Mainly things along those lines. I don't even really think he's a great president although I think he's not bad. When people solely place the blame for all the country's problems on President Obama it shows me they're ignorant and that they're blind to the fact that the entire American government is to blame, not one man.
Anyone who says 'I'm going to get downvoted for this'... there is often a time where I downvote people not because I disagree with them or feel they aren't contributing, but because they use that god-awful phrase.
Usually on Facebook: "pray for me, can't believe this shit is happening, so much anger/pain/frustration/hurts"...I read it everytime but always know there won't be any context
Whenever someone says "What's the ask?" Usually uttered by some management type. It sounds clipped and self-important, as if they don't have time to say something like "What are you asking for?" or "What are you requesting?"
Anything along the lines of, "It was so much easier/simpler/happier/safer when I was a kid."
On 9/11, I was 17 and a senior in high school. That day, my mom told me that when she was a kid, things were so much easier/simpler/happier/safer when she was my age/in school.
Oh, really? Was that while you were ducking and covering under your desk to practice for the Soviets nuking you, or was that while the president was being shot?
I often hear this shibboleth when I discuss politics with middle-aged and elderly Republicans. I resent it for several reasons:
1.) It's a lazy observation.
Rather than respond to the sources I cite in my arguments, they simply wave off my carefully thought-out opinions as mere naivety. Not only is that approach infuriatingly condescending, but it also makes me respect their viewpoints LESS - where do they get off dismissing my perspectives when they don't even bother to defend their own?
2.) It's not necessarily true.
Based on what I've read from Jonathan Haidt's "The Political Brain", Chris Mooney's, "The Republican Brain" and George Lakoff's "Don't Think of an Elephant", people's politics are based on their temperaments and personal narratives; even though people DO get less idealistic and more practical with age, it's not like their core tenets and beliefs drastically alter - to a certain extent, people think what they want to think.
For instance, I disagree with Rich Lowry (editor-in-chief of The National Review) on several topics, but I don't think he's ignorant; based on his commentary on Left, Right and Center, I find him to be an intelligent man who holds a fundamentally different philosophy on the role of government than I do. I respect other people's principled, sincere political opinions, and I feel gravely insulted when that isn't reciprocated.
3.) It assumes I don't understand what conservatism is (and that it's inevitable that I'll accept it).
For a liberal, I'm reasonably well acquainted with right-leaning thinkers (e.g., William Buckley, Jr., David Frum). I see where they're coming from; I simply don't agree.
Case in point: I subscribed to The Weekly Standard to better understand conservative arguments, but I wasn't converted (truth be told, reading an op-ed that mindblowingly asserted, "Obama hasn't learned from Iraq as quickly as Bush did" made me throw the magazine across the living room). If mere exposure to information over time were the sole determinant in changing someone's opinions, I should have become a fan of "The Big Bang Theory" because I've periodically seen it aired in syndication on TBS (which airs it ad nauseum). Guess what? After umpteen episodes, I STILL think it's a God-damn nerd minstrel show.
TL;DR - I think the phrase, "you'll get conservative when you're older" is lazy, inaccurate and disrespectful.
Nobody else flaunts around the fact that they are wrong in a certain subject. I've never heard of people being proud that they're mathematically incorrect or talk about how it's so terrible that geographic correctness has gone wild.
People who put their job title on Facebook as "Stay at home mommy" with company as "Stay at home mom". Never once have I put that as a profession description on a tax form; homemaker will suffice, thank you. Edit: I forgot the worse one - when they do that on LinkedIn.
What if it's "I enjoy fucking babies," as in they just really adore babies and not that they want to turn their sausage into an aeroplane and fly inside a baby.
DankJemo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone that says "Hella," Which is an incredibly unfortunate since I moved to California less than a year ago. I don't think I can go a day without hearing it at least a few times. It seems to be a west coast thing. I don't think I really ever heard it on the east coast at all.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No dude I'm fine I can drive"
Get the FUCK out my face with that shit. Don't drive drunk.
Heh. Living in Louisiana, which has the second highest car insurance rates in the country, that happens way too much here. Which is why things happen like two separate vehicles driving into two separate buildings in my town in the same night. Granted, pretty much all of Louisiana aside from New Orleans sucks serious ass, so it's pretty miserable being sober here, but...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But Fox News said ______."
corvid_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power"
sightlab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling me (or anyone else) what it's called. "It's called having basic respect for people". Really? Is that what they named it? Cuz from my side it would be called "Dont open your car door into traffic and I won't yell swears at you", but really it's not called anything. People who sum up their personal views and theories and experiences by explaining "what it's called" drive me fucking insane. It's called not compartmentalizing shit and patronizing those around you.
anooblol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not book smart I'm street smart! Used as an excuse for your stupidity. ... Because you're most likely not smart at all if you say this.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I feel like"
jffah1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"WAKE UP SHEEPLE"..
You know it's about to involve jet fuel or some other BS.
kdupont ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you make me a website? I don't have money but in will give you a percent of profit earned. It's gonna be huge and revolutionize the _______ industry!
Trust me.
kyleaw17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" Hey Brah, sweet tattoo. If I got that, I would have done this and changed this, and got this part in a different color."
Cool, got get your own fucking tattoo.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Live laugh love"
If you meet a girl with this on her wall, smash and dash
"[blank] is a social construct!" Yeah, no shit, almost everything is a social construct. And just because something is a social construct, doesn't make it inherently bad...
"If you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best," says every hot mess I've ever met.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1 Like = 1 Prayer
1 Share = 10 Prayers
newfrank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Omg, you're a geologist? Don't you know your killing the earth?"
No I'm not you fucking moron. Not only is it necessary to have a reclamation plan set up before opening a mine, we also need to have constant environmental checks to make sure everything is in order.
"I just think that all mines should be shut down."
You like your iPhone? How about the fork you're using to eat your salad in that bowl you fucking hippie. If it can't be grown it has to be mined.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. Fuck you. You can't just cop-out because you're argument is weak shit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ReadyForHillary
AW12321 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Comparing anything to the Holocaust.
Roraan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Comparing anything to the Holocaust except for the Holodomor.
FTFY
aspoels ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger.
What if you get Lyme disease and your health is impaired for the rest of your life?
What if you loose a limb or two? That sure doesn't make you stronger.
Azorr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm such a geek!"
No, spending 12 hours a day on Facebook doesn't make you a geek, sorry.
8-Bitz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On fleek" "check your privilege" "trigger warning" anything about crossfitting, veganism or atheism. Not to pick on these groups but some of them never shut the fuck up about it.
CJ090 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Preggers and hubby. Use it in front of me and I will maim you.
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah nah nah, I just get ready to laugh. Fuck I hope he becomes president, you Americans are going to entertain me for a whole three years if it happens.
Yes, they fucking do, but you seem to be fucking ignorant to the fact that we (in the U.S., at least) routinely treat people of color as if their lives don't. "Black lives matter too" isn't as fucking catchy, you well-meaning but ignorant cunt nugget.
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the problem with countering black lives matter with all lives matter is that at the moment, black lives are the ones that seem to be having a value problem.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has happened to me a ridiculous number of times. I introduce myself to someone, often one of the first topics is what I do for a living. I tell them that I'm a mechanical engineer. I always get these guys (and it's always men, I think in some ways women are less insecure than men) that say "yeah, I know an engineer, he's the dumbest guy I know." or "well, you may be book smart but you're not street smart" (this, they can tell within 1 minute of meeting me, of course) or "yeah, I went to school to be an engineer, but decided to be a [much less school intensive career] instead" (like they ARE smart enough, but just decided they really wanted that journalism degree they will never use). Or, in conversations that I would have had before my degree, would have gone fine, but now that I have my degree a lighthearted disagreement ends in "you just think you know everything!" or "you think you can never be wrong!". I know there are people of every occupation that have a chip on their shoulder, but here's what most people don't understand about engineers. It's really hard for us to feel smart, because our work makes us feel stupid every stinkin' day. We are given nearly impossible tasks by management, and are looked at like idiots when we say we need more time and more money to figure it out. We have product failures. We make stupid mistakes, and when we are peer reviewed they are (hopefully) all found, discussed, and documented. For 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, I don't have the luxury of feeling like I know it all, because I don't, and I can't bullshit my way into making a product work.
TL;DR if you belittle my occupation within 30 seconds of learning what I do for a living, you show yourself to be very insecure.
fuck you, you aren't a lawyer so quit trying to act like you know what the fuck you're talking about just because you managed watch a few YouTube videos of people being dickheads to cops.
wow97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist..... but insert very racial generalization"
wow97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know my name, not my story"
wow97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could've done sooooooooo much better in high school/college, I just didn't try"
Of course it's true. It's true because of people who use excuses much like that cop-out excuse to not treat others fairly. Like, "life's not fair, so it's OK for me to be a piece of shit!"
One that begins with a word like premier, advanced, or smart. If it contains green, eco, or any form of engineering (that is not uniquely innovative and technically sound) I might lay my head back and close my eyes... in anticipation of the piรจce de la rรฉsistance... the final straw and most idiotic of over-used descriptive terms: system. If it ends up as being some jackass's system I can step in and guarantee it won't do what he implies it can do. And it won't really be eco-friendly, or smart. It may be a system i.e. that it produces systemic and systematic failures. It will require engineering for its engineered aspects, and common sense to remedy its advanced features.
I can't stand it. It sounds pretentious, and it makes me wonder if they lie a lot and thus they feel the need to announce their honesty.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anything modern teens,that think they are the baddest thing on the planet and listen to nothing but rap (I mean come on Metal is by far the baddest thing on the planet), say.
A_Hozer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not gonna lie "I'm not gonna lie" is an annoying saying. Let us allow the presumption to be that you will tell the truth. Please notify when you're gonna lie.
When someone says "Can you borrow me that (whatever)". No. Just no. The word is lend. I don't know why you idiots don't get that, but you can't borrow someone anything. You can lend it to them. They can borrow it from you. But you can't borrow it to someone.
Crixxa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bless their little heart(s)." It's a Southern thing. Always directly precedes or follows something terrible the person is about to say about someone who isn't there.
Anyone that says "suppoably" is dumb.
Anyone that says "irregardless" is fucking moronic.
And the worst offender - anyone that says "__am in the morning" deserves papercuts between their toes. Oh, as opposed to __am at night you dumbshit? It makes me want to punch all the faces.
When someone says "this band literally saved my life". Shut the fuck up and go back to Tumblr bitch.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who's generally pretty accepting of a diverse range of political views and identifies as a moderate overall, I have yet to meet anyone who uses the word "libtard" unironically who could feasibly win on an episode of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader."
...my cousin attempts to talk like the douche bags in his class and he says this shit to me all the time. It's all I can do to not punch his face in. What the fuck, who the fuck even says Ja feel. What the fuck is that. Get out of my face with that diarrhea.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"you're so tiny, you can eat whatever you want and still stay skinny"
Man. Fuck people who say this to me. I try so hard to eat right and keep myself healthy with exercise, and they act like it's easy and I do nothing to earn it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any use of the word "like".
andy3620 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"so where do you work?"
"Oh I'm a nanny"
Every single woman I know that is a nanny posts drinking photos/videos every single night then is posts photos/videos of them taking care of children the next morning. That just doesn't add up for me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:21:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have ADHD so..." (Deal with me being an asshole who uses excuses for being an asshole).
"I'm an introvert so..." (I won't cooperte in your project cause I don't feel like putting in effort in this job).
Stop using these excuses, especially when it's self diagnosed. Don't be that guy.
That phrase is meant to not destroy an already good running thing and by no means hinders progress. You shouldn't play with current features if they are running good but be very careful when adding new features. Experiment with them carefully and see if they are capable of running in many devices. Spend days examining it. And don't just throwaway at users face after changing a bit of code & things.
Betanut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He/she is my significant other. Like you would ever say insignificant other. Now I know some will say that SO is used if someone is gay, but at this point who cares, aside from republican's and red state inbreds that is. /s
Anyone we spells out omg instead of just saying "oh my god" or lol instead of just laughing. You know, those kind of people. We have all met one or another.
goodtago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol
SyaSal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Thank god the doctor was able to save her/him". Always irked me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irk*
SyaSal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:30:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't sure about the word. Thanks
T_Dill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hanging with bae" the word bae overall
.
jonnyozz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also seen on Facebook:
"I've just spent a lot of time trimming my friends list down. If you see this status you're one of the lucky few."
Like fucking good bitch, get your pig face/attitude out of my news feed. I don't remove a single person (or don't add them) unless I have a deep seated personal issue or bad experience with them.
dis23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Between you and I
It drives me nuts when people try to sound smart by saying "I" instead of "me" when the latter is correct.
"This might sound racist, but [insert mildly racist comment here]"
Have a brain. If you have to preface any statements with this, just don't bloody say it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not the exact phrase but the gist of this statement:
"I'm an otaku, not a weeb! Weebs are obsessed with anime!"
Bitch please, you both devote a lot of your time and money for the same thing.
ltcpanic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just one of those things where.." and proceed to describe any generic situation which intends to make me generalize a common theme where in actuality it has nothing to do with anything
Any phrase violently stuffed into pop culture over the last five years, esp. 2013-era. Every time I hear someone say YOLO who isn't a 13-year-old NT try-hard it makes me want to strangle them. Not enough to kill, but just enough to knock some sense into them and maybe leave some permanent light brain damage, just as a reminder every time they want to say something else that stupid.
This is so not true. Some things are great in moderation. Some things are great in amounts beyond moderation. Some things are best to never touch.
The phrase is an excuse to justify all types of unhealthy behaviour and boast about healthy behaviour. It also seems to negate the need for any advice from health professionals/researchers.
Not a phrase but when someone pronounces the word "especially" as "ex-specially." Drives me super fucking nuts.
NerdBro1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:36:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At a party or gathering, when someone meets a couple people at once and then says "I won't remember any of your names later". You are 100 times cooler if you CAN remember people's names.
"And the like." There was a kid (<18 years old) in my first college English class say that 20 times (yes I counted) trying to sound smart. It didn't work.
"You did good", I can't stand this phrase. "You have done well!"
timndime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:46:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"sticks and stones will break my bones by names will never hurt me"
actually names can hurt a lot
Dakrys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:46:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something I haven't quite seen yet - When people do something "ironically" to the point where it's indistinguishable from sincerity.
I'll give a couple examples.
Yolo. People said yolo, were judged for saying yolo, and those very judgemental people started saying it to be funny. Then they didn't stop. And they used the term in appropriate context....
Also on reddit - making fun of memes has become a meme itself. If you're saying things like, "memeing on people" or "only the dankest memes" as a way to mock people who enjoy memes, congratulations. You're just as bad now.
enygma9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:47:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just saying "Whatever"...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:47:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to [action ending in proud ownership] a confederate flag
My cousin is he greatest offender, says this all the time, drives me crazy. It's like, yes, I heard what you're saying, so did everyone in the room, there's no need to clarify if I'm actually comprehending what you're saying because the difference between our intellects is probably not as vast as you think it might be...
He's spoiled that phrase for anyone I meet who happens to say it, regardless of who they are or what they're saying.
Anyone calling their significant other their "partner." God, I fucking hate it. Everyone I've ever met who calls their SO "partner" has been ultra self-righteous and judgy as fuck of people who fail to meet their standards for political correctness. Nope.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heard a girl argue with my friend why seatbelts shouldn't be a law and seatbelts should be a choice to wear. Instant hate towards her and her stupidity.
timndime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oomomow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check your privileges.
ski3high ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
When someone asks you to choose something although they already have their mind made up. Then when you say whats it is they want, they reply: "Only if you want toooo"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:13:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me cringe. As if the man has no control, no say, no anything after marriage. He is just supposed to nod and say 'yes dear'. Ugh. (I'm female)
Yeah, it's this super shitty way of talking about your wife that people seem to think is cute. All it says to me is that they married the wrong woman (or really, she married the wrong jerkoff guy).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have more than one:
"It's just a joke/prank" No it's not Tim, I could have died or I could have shot you.
"Everyone is so pc now" No, your jokes just fucking suck Tim.
"I have freedom of speech. I can say what I want" That's right, Tim you can but are you able to handle the consequences for what you say? I mean go ahead talk shit just don't get shocked when you get hit.
"Give me an example of when I did [insert douchebag behaviour here]."
Like it's my job produce a full fucking list that details where and when you have acted like a complete dick. News flash: I'm not a goddamn lawyer and I'm also not so petty that I keep a written record of every single crappy thing that everyone has ever done to me. I'm pretty sure doing that is well within the realm of abnormal behaviour which makes this a completely unreasonable request. Not to mention if I actually did do this and produced the proof on demand then I'd just be called crazy so it wouldn't help my case in the slightest.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, people who have OCD can't function normally and it majorly interferes with their life. People who are obsessively neat and organized have OCPD.
Any of the identity politics buzzphrases going around right now, like "safe spaces", "POC", "oppression tourist", "marginalized group", "cultural appropriation" and so on.
"Yeah, I know how to do it" when they clearly don't and I'm trying to help
CrazyM4n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What do you like to do?"
"Watch Netflix"
Yeah, because that's the most interesting answer that nobody I've talked to before has ever said in the history of forever for God's sake I don't care that your parents spend $8 a month on you to be able to waste away just like everyone else that says that.
Had a roommate who said such lines regularly. Scared me shitless sometimes to be out in public with him. Scared me even more how many black friends he had.
"There's no smoke without fire" fuck you, there absolutely is, everywhere, every single fucking day. People are often so desperate to believe false accusations even in the face of zero evidence.
Sibur ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:57:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a classmate at uni ask that question to literally everybody within five minutes of meeting them, then try and extrapolate what they are like and tell them what's goanna happen to them next week... became very annoying, very fast. eventually everybody's star sign was simply "NO"
I had a coworker once who judged people by first impressions based on their horoscope. If their signs weren't supposed to get along she automatically avoided you. I thought it was the rudest most ignorant thing.
I had a coworker once who judged people by first impressions based on their horoscope. If their signs weren't supposed to get along she automatically avoided you. I thought it was the rudest most ignorant thing.
Sibur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:11 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hey, being avoided by a person with such views is a blessing in my book. then again, assuming you wont get along and then automatically avoiding those people is a self fulfilling prophecy.
"I think Donald Trump is a viable political candidate"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Real Women have curves
Fuck off fatty, 'real' women don't even need to have vaginas in this day and age! Why can't you just be proud of your own body without feeling the need to insult all the skinny bitches of the world.
Same goes for all the bullshit that makes someone a 'real' man.
People who say, "I hit my kids!" like it's an accomplishment. Then they say, "you just don't know, wait until yours gets older." I do know because I was a kid and getting hit was a whole lot more traumatizing than having a parent patiently tell you to stop doing something and why you should stop.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:53:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can't even
well then can you odd?
Jtl34 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:54:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My horoscope told me
Jerdon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:54:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone mentions their astrological sign as if it was relevant.
JerryBBQ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:05:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just looking out for number one!
Ozziw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:08:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If he/she doesn't, I'm not going to" or "he/she started it", or other similar things in order to act dumb yourself. If you find a person annoying, don't be petty. Be the better man/woman and act as a good example.
LOL.
If you find something funny, then laugh at it don't say LOL with absolutely no emotion. You waste everyone's time and then I have to spend the next ten minutes not listening to anything other then the blood pounding in me ears and suppressing the urge to kill.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:55:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says wow that was rude when the thing someone else did WASNT EVEN FRICKING RUDE!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:02:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using your astrology sign as an excuse. "Oh, sorry I didn't mean to be rude. I can't help it, I'm a Gemini". No bitch, you're rude because you're a shitty person.
I wouldn't say hate or dislike, but I find it kind of silly when someone is intentionally rude to someone else (usually a parent), and I ask why, the response being "I'm not gonna' respect someone who doesn't respect me!" Apperantly some people believe being equally as negative is solving the problem and this doesn't make sense to me.
"Oh, you can't really like that, no one does." "You're only a real fan if -insert subjective bullshit/bullshit minutiae here-." Anything to do with false dichotomies. Do not tell me I can't like both DC and Marvel. There is no war in Ba Sing Se.
DrWindow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:28:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Would you kindly'
drumhans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:30:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On Facebook when something good happens to them "God is great"
_Fern ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:59:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'd like to see your manager"
Sen7ineL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:01:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Calm down" Whenever someone is irritating me for real, and he doesn't know it, and sees me getting frustrated, and tells me to calm down... Sometimes I felt like I wanted to beat fucker's head into the wall. I'm usually cool.
Anyone who takes a joke from the intenet and tries to pretend they made it up themselves. Bitch I live on reddit, that shit won't work.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says they're so OCD. No, you're not OCD, no human can be Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... you can be obsessively compulsive, but you can't be OCD.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Haha, I thought all black people liked watermelon and fried chicken"
Go fuck yourself.
acidpope ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Suck it up." If someone is upset, tired or hurt there just might be a justification for them wanting to stop and get better or at least not make the situation worse. No reason to be a callous touch-hole.
It's not something which can be locked down to a specific type of comment but people who try to buy social equity by saying something they do not actually believe through their actions.
My pet peeve phrase is "In my honest opinion..." What the heck? You think I want to hear your dishonest opinion, jerk? If you aren't going to tell me the truth, then shut the fuck up.
I hate when people say "it is what it is". They come across like they've totally given up and the situation HAS to stay the same.
Also, when people say "I'm from (insert place) and I know good (whatever)". Fuck you! People from New York, New Jersey, and Texas are the worst at it. Fuck them!
I work with a guy who I overheard say, "I'm voting for Trump. We need to throw the bums out and get new blood in there."
As if term limits aren't a big enough disaster on their own, this guy wants to put Donald fucking Trump in the White House because he's "new". He doubled-down on stupidity.
Trumps popularity is just more proof of how the ignorant are enabled by corporate media- via its conservative slant on everything and by the hundreds of Rush Limbaugh-like angry white men on talk radio.
Even in so-called "liberal NYC" you can surf the AM dial and you can always find at least 4 or 5 of these conservative "ignorance-validators" on the air.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:15:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People of Color. Additionally abbreviating it POC. Because that means products of conception to me. Which you can google if you want to know why that bothers me.
tb415 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:53:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Conspiracy theories. Pretty much in general, but some are a lot worse. Claiming 9/11, or any shooting anywhere, was the government of where it occurred, denial of the holocaust or denial of the moon landing.
There is no faster way to kill all respect I have for you.
No bitch, you just bought into the propaganda and didn't bother to do any critical thinking on the topic before you amputated perfectly healthy body parts off of your child.
Usually said by a boss or authority figure - typically they don't need to understand shit but want you to repeat and explain everything so they can then tell you what they really want you to do instead.
"Been there, done that." It's like they can't just empathize for a moment. They'd rather brush you off and ignore you.
Mndless ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:52:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they chew with their mouths open. Just no. Also, anyone who thinks emotional manipulation is a way out of a discussion/debate that they're losing.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:04:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Check your Privilege.'
Get off the high horse. You are not helping. This phrase is not helpful. Shouting people down is not going to make you look any better of a person.
"You need to wear a bra." No, I don't. You don't get to decide what I wear; I get to decide what I wear. It's not my fault you can't stop staring at my boobs.
"What are you, some kind of feminazi?" No. I just don't wear bras. Because I'm a trans male. Why should I have to?
One of the preachers at my parents church would always preach a sermon like "If you ever want to say but, but just remember butGOD" and he'd always pronounce it horrendously like gauwidah
Fuck, now I have to ask why. is it religious? am I going to offend you with other thing I might say? is it medical?
You have now become too much effort to talk to
Xifar_ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:12:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just say cool or okay.
I don't eat pork/ham but I'm not offended by it either.
I've never had someone slap bacon out of my hand or anything like that. It's more along I'm in a social situation with you and "don't eat pork".
If I want to be polite, I now have to feel around to make sure you are not eating for a religious reason. Again I don't care what you believe, but I don't want to be an ass either and worry about if I've said something that you might find offensive. again not that I care but just to keep the conversation comfortable.
Just eat the bacon and make my life easier, that's all I want.
So you want people to eat bacon because you are socially awkward? Got it.
Xifar_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:36:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair I wouldn't be able to eat the bacon since I'm forbidden from eating(or otherwise consuming) pig products.
I however have zero problems with you eating it in front of me, even if you did offer some and I turned you down I'd still be glad you offered because it's the thought that counts.
For me, I stopped eating pork when I read (1) that they are about as smart or smarter than dogs, (2) the conditions they are kept in until they are slaughtered.
I love the taste of pork and would probably still eat it if (1) I was hunting and killed a wild boar and/or (2) they improve factory farming to where pigs aren't literally dying in shit while being shrowded in darkness.
I don't feel so bad for Cow and Chicken because they are much dumber and Two Stupid Dogs is on right after.
Do your best to avoid it. It's very sad. Learning about it will ruin your day and make you feel helpless in doing anything about it. I'm not opposed to killing and eating any animals(unless they are endangered), but I don't think anyone can look at factory farming and not be incredibly disturbed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that if I were rich, I would make a massive area of land for all of my meat products. Then I would hunt them myself.
Noclue55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cows are actually kinda smart. Chickens however are still very dumb.
356afan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like disliking someone solely for their food choices is douchier than being a vegan. I think its fair to dislike certain vegans, but the ones who are chill about it aren't a problem.
[deleted] ยท -18 points ยท Posted at 01:03:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not accurate. I eat quite a bit of meat, I just think its stupid to dislike someone for a completely personal choice.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem I have with people who are vocally vegan or moral vegetarians is that when you tell someone that you don't do something that they do because you find it morally repugnant, it's sort of offensive.
souIIess ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:55:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if they're from Vega?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an equal-opportunity consumer.
Tuirrenn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only reason I don't like this is when I invite a vegan friend over for dinner, I have to go on high alert in my kitchen and make sure that what I cook is actually vegan.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My issue is not vegans. I know several and they are great guys. My issue is when that is how you identify yourself and tell my I'm evil because I eat meat
Tuirrenn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:09 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed :) Its easy to ignore the whiney ones though. Its just when its the ones you like that are coming to dinner, and you realise you forgot and accidentally poured chicken stock into both risottos instead of just the one for the meat eaters that it sucks.
So you dislike people just because they make more ethically responsible decisions with their diet? I get it id they're a jerk and look down on everyone else, but there are way more jerks that eat meat than there are that don't, so you should be looking elsewhere when trying to determine whether someone is likable or not.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:18:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not even vegan, I just think that it's ridiculous to judge someone's entire personality based on someone being thoughtful in their diet choices with respect to the environmental or ethical impact of consuming animal products. Have you even met and been annoyed by a vegan in person? If they're a vegan jerk, then they're a jerk, but don't homogenize a whole group just because you don't like the vocal ones.
Judging somebody's personality based on a phrase is the whole point of this post man. You don't need to get defensive
lnfinity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
0/2
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ethically responsible decisions with their diet
I dislike people who claim I'm unethical and irresponsible because I have an omnivorous diet. Or really anyone that implies that something I do is bad. "Oh you drive? I only ride my bike, I find cars to be rapacious and morally disgusting." Fuck that guy too.
First, whether or not you like it is irrelevant. I just think that it is more reasonable to cut out meat as a way to reduce one's impact on the environment than not using a car. It's just important that you are aware of the consequences of your decisions and try your best to live as well as you can without hurting others. If it is absolutely unreasonable to stop eating meat due to whatever reason, then you should probably just eat meat, but most people in the US have easy access to a variety of vegetarian and vegan options that are tasty and fulfill nutritional needs. Although people are definitely being jerks when they think that they're better than you for biking to work, being vegan, etc., I think the world would be better off if people would be more conscious of their decisions.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First, whether or not you like it is irrelevant.
Well, this is a thread about phrases that make you instantly disliking people, so I'd say it's relevant.
Although people are definitely being jerks when they think that they're better than you for biking to work, being vegan, etc., I think the world would be better off if people would be more conscious of their decisions.
Honestly, I don't really care if people are vegan or moral vegetarians or bike to work (that's not true I fucking hate bicyclists, but mostly because they seem to be dead set on running me down), it's just as you say, some people can be dicks in the way they communicate that. And I agree with you on that last bit.
"I'm pretty open minded but..." Heard this about 5 times from a close friend over the weekend. The homophobic, racist, and idiotic phrases that followed were, sadly, not surprising.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:48:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Goes right along with "i'm not a racist, but....."
farmthis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:51:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let's agree to disagree"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you would hate me. I use that when I realize we (the arguers) are both too stubborn to see the other's point of view. It is either we agree to disagree or I just say they are right and ignore them the rest of the night haha.
farmthis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha... Well, I'm not too stubborn, and I work hard to understand other people and get my point across painlessly in a discussion... So it takes a special sort of downright dismissive person to say this to me.
I'm sure it's used more often by other people in better situations where it means less.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At my workplace, if we don't say that, we can get fined/sacked if a mystery shopper comes in and they ask for coke. The odds are highly unlikely and most people don't bother saying it, but that's probably the reason you hear it so much.
RicRod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All my friends say I'm the best drunk driver so I guess that means I'm a great sober driver!" The dumbest girl I ever met said this while she was bashing my friends driving skills
Rapper's delight is actually the apex of that style, its hard to find the real old old rap. It was more sing-songy and friendly, you can see it in some old 80's movies. I think Rappers Delight was the first real rap hit song/ but I could be wrong.
That's kinda how I am. And it's not a race thing. I really do like a lot of blues, jazz, and old R&B (like Sam Cooke and Otis Redding). I have Run-DMC and Public Enemy in my collection, but modern rap just doesn't do it for me.
Ghost125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I don't really like any of the newer stuff, with the exception of a song here and there, but I like older stuff like Run DMC. I like almost all other music though.
The lyrics are a problem too, but my main issue is with how it seems all of them I hear on the road through down windows, the car body, and sometimes even the registration plate is the same 8-beat WOOOOOOOM, WOOM-WOOM-WOOM (The first one lasting three beats, the others being the fourth beat, and the bass bit being silent the next measure)
Asher Roth is the "I love college" guy. He's actually a great rapper but that song kind of fucked the chances of 90% of people taking him seriously.
Action Bronson is a retired chef that started rapping. He is hilarious and talented
Crazc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, time to put another name in my list of favorite rappers. I'm disappointed in myself for not hearing of Action Bronson sooner. That song is hilarious.
I like all music except country AND rap!
Country music is the same stuff every time and rap just seems like it has 0 effort put in by anyone. Never mind the terrible lyrics, most of the time I can't even understand what the fuck they are saying.
356afan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I need to upvote the holy hell out of this!!!!!!!
FiddyFo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:33:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
rap just seems like it has 0 effort put in by anyone. Never mind the terrible lyrics, most of the time I can't even understand what the fuck they are saying.
I hope to God this is troll bait.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the problem with both is that mainstream rap and country songs are pretty identical to other mainstream rap and country. If you don't like those 1 to 3 different variations on the same thing you're not going to like the genre. But with both country and rap there are some absolutely brilliant songs if you do a bit of searching.
I'd just like to say that you are basing this off of pop songs for those genres. I truly love every genre of music no matter how much, or how little, I listen to one style. I also don't listen to must of the top ten songs for each genre. Look for more off stuff and you will here some of the greatest lyrics that speak to your truly in a rap song. Maybe a country song you never even heard of reminds you of a summer day you had as a kid. It's really easy to find good songs in every genre.
Listen to this one by Watsky. The lyrics are awesome.
There are people who legitimately can't have gluten for medical reasons. Seems odd to dislike them for something out of their control.
But if you're talking about trendy idiots, sure.
bonerfar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
true, one out of a million. I bet they aren't dumb enough to take a chance at eating at A FUCKING PIZZERIA. the air in those places would kill a celiac
I'm sorry my not wanting to shit straight mucous offends you :(
bonerfar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry you're incapable of properly educating yourself, and instead jumped on the bandwagon like the other fad dieters. I don't consume gluten myself, and am actually healthier for it. THAT DOES NOT MEAN GLUTEN WAS MAKING ME UNHEALTHY!!! I also removed all sources of bromides, refined sugars, artificial sweeteners, artificial everything really, starches, and excess natural sugars; I increased my intake of fiber, potassium magnesium, water, iron, calcium, protein, fat, folate, vitamin A, and iodine. If you were to extract the protein known as gluten, and add it to my diet it would have zero adverse effects. It's the sources of excess metabolic glucose that were causing inflammation and invoking a high insulin response. Furthermore, the lack of sufficient fiber was preventing my body from removing dietary cholesterol. Now that I've properly educated myself on nutrition: I've lost 100lbs, lowered my cholesterol, reduced inflammation, allowed my thyroid to absorb iodine instead of bromine, and regularly shit like I should.
Knowledge is power energylegz, but I suppose ignorance is bliss. Have fun replacing gluten with unhealthy carb(glucose) filled alternatives, good luck with your inevitable diabetes and try not to infect to many other gullible idiots like yourself. alternatively, you could do some research.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm an atheist"
I'm an atheist too but when somebody just says "I'm an atheist" its because they want you to know they are an atheist. Usually it's neckbeards who say it
I overuse "literally" and "basically", and even times what I'm explaining won't be very basic at all. I know I do it, and catch myself when I do, but can't always help it.
Only funny if youre saying this to a good friend who is actually gay. Otherwise, please stop using "gay" as an insult. It only further promotes the belief that being gay is a negative thing.
Callyopi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if the act itself you were using this phrase to describe, is in fact gay? Like you walk in on your roomie jacking it to gay porn? Can I do it then?
"Boys will be boys" = Behavior explained away by antiquated gender stereotypes.
T4R6ET ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference"
blaghart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Black Lives matter
Namely because A) it tells me you know only what you read in the media and haven't even bothered to visit a website like killedbypolice.com or any of the dozens of others that list who's been killed by police (hint, it's not just black people. It's not even mostly black people. Everyone's getting killed by cops, and only by standing together will anything change. Not by rioting or screaming obsenities at white people) and B) I've seen where racial divisioniary nonsense like that leads, and it leads only to prejudice and hate.
nixam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Winner winner chicken dinner".
Go fuck yourself.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being called an 'islamaphobe' or 'misogynist' simply for criticising Islam or Feminism. Both words are basically ways of stopping any sort of conversation that could be harmful to either of the two fragile, fragile belief systems.
It's weird how these phrases are so embedded in our language.
I'm not religious at all but still have difficulty finding replacements for "oh my god", " bloody hell " and "Jesus Christ!" As an exclamation. "Oh my word" doesn't really have the same ring to it.
mugbys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who ask to "lend" something. They get the weirdest look on their faces when I say "Sure" and hold my hand out expectantly. They actually want to borrow something, but they're too stupid to understand terms like "lending" and "borrowing", or the difference between the two. And we let these people apply for credit cards and home loans. Terrifying.
No one loves everything and no one goes through life without judging a single thing. I also don't understand how someone can be fake, I understand the term I just hate the phrasing.
As a World Trade Center survivor and a guy who worked for over a decade for two companies in both towers, anything along the lines of "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams!" or "clearly a controlled demolition" will make me want to slap you. Hard.
"Sheeple," regardless of affiliation. Shows a complete lack of critical thinking. Or thinking.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same difference.
Havok310 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love this thread for this phrase being on here more than once. I honestly thought I was alone. Anyone I've ever complained about it to said I was being nitpicky...
NO, I'm being grammatically correct and prefer saying things that make sense!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mattubic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase but correcting grammar or improper use of words.
People make typos, especially while typing on a phone screen. No one replying to a reddit thread is looking to get published. Your brain is going to fill in the blanks or interpret the correct meaning through context.
"We need to take our country back." Or any variation of "The way things are headed in this country" I live in the Bible Belt, apparently bad things are coming?
"I love gays but they shouldn't be allowed to marry because the bible says so"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in education. When I meet a teacher looking for a new job and the first thing they say is how brown/ethnic their former schools or districts are, the first thing I think of is how racist and awful of a teacher this person is. Not to mention, you never introduce yourself and start complaining right off the bat. NEVER. You become the whiner forever.
"Ready to settle down," "Will I be teaching honors", these are all telltale phrases of teachers who don't want to work with minority students, students who need extra effort. And they act like saints because they were in TFA, or worked inner city for one or two years so they think they "deserve" a "better school." They also wedge in "my kids" like that makes them less bigoted. We don't need teachers like that, go be a housewife. Education is a matter of social justice. You don't want to help? Kindly fuck off. You're what's wrong with education and you're hurting children. Kids can tell if you don't care about them either. They have no reason to behave and do well when they have the mean racist teacher "looking for greener pastures." Not to mention, with the unions, we get stuck with these self-interested, self-absorbed teachers when you hire them so honestly, there should be more barriers for these parasites.
Whenever someone refers to another as "individual".
For example, "Well he always struck me as a strange individual."
It always comes off, to me, as trying to dehumanize the person in question. They're not a person, they're just an "individual". The word "individual" is fine, but it's this context that people use it in.
Yes, because you know my entire personal perspective, the workings of my mind, and future, and also the objective truth of the world, which means eventually, I'll come to the same stupid conclusion as you.
Not necessarily. Sure, if evidence and circumstances show truth in a statement, I may change my mind, given concrete evidence. But I won't automatically change my mind just because time. Not all opinions of old people are formed by wisdom. A lot of them are just personal opinions and preferences, solidified into stone, and therefore presumed fact by the holder of said opinion.
As you can tell, this is something that pisses me off a lot.
Also, the many times listed, generic "I'm not W, but XY about Z is sooo true."
No, it's not true, you once again presumptuous ass. A handful of instances a universal truth does not make. You're projecting your small observation of the world, onto the entire world. And it's arrogant / idiotic.
OP, thank you, that vented a lot of stress to say that, oddly enough.
Also anyone who tells me they don't tolerate bullshit especially teachers or authority figures who ".won't put up with bullshit" I lose all respect immediately.
When people refer to the president (of your choice) and refer to them in a vulgar manner or without their title. At least show some respect in your thought process and refer to them as President Whomever. And then of course they follow up their argument with "This is why I don't vote"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blancast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck it, better than most of these cunts nowadays that go to day care at 7 in the morning, have breakfast lunch and dinner then get picked up by mum and dad at 6 in the evening after they've been to the gym or whatever. What's the fucking point in having kids if all you're going to do is go to work Monday to Friday. Raise your fucking child.
I understand that. It's people who refer to their jobs as 'full time mummy' or whatever that is annoying.
Blancast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends if they're single or not most of the time, I do understand the types you're on about though mate don't you worry. The ones where they have "....... mummy" in the middle of their fucking Facebook name. Say for example some local slappers name is tiffany patmore. Their Facebook name would then be Tiffany 'Luke's Mummy' Patmore. Those people anger me a lot haha
waxxor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's almost like..."
"Yea because..."
It's almost like some people can't make conversation without phrasing their thoughts in a passive-aggressive, sarcastic comment.
Yea because some of us can't leave a comment without sounding like a little smart-ass!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've found that people who use this (99% via Reddit comments) don't even have a valid point to make. They just want to dismiss someone else's argument, and the easiest way is to leave a single sarcastic comment. It doesn't prove anything, and only shows that the person is incapable/unwilling to actually examine the issue with context.
I'm guilty of having done this once or twice, and I immediately feel like an idiot because I know I'm making a lazy, douchey blanket statement.
When people complain or bitch but preface it by saying "I just think it's funny that..." or "Isn't it hilarious how..."
We know you don't think it's actually funny, and that you are in fact just vaguebooking and talking shit about someone in the hopes that they'll see it and all the support you're bound to get from your idiotic friends.
Qtips_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I drive better drunk.
no you dont you fucking piece of shit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Misuse of the word "literally" (reminds me of that HIMYM episode)
"Say it louder for the people at the back"
"Spread this like wildfire"
As a reaction to someone who's successful/sexy/productive - "Meanwhile I'm just a socially awkward penguin who can watch x seasons of [insert random tv show that's worshiped by teens on tumblr] on netflix in one sitting lol. Oh and who needs boyfriends when you have boybands? #PizzaIsLife."
Well, maybe if you actually did what you were told when you were drunkenly driving home or skateboarding on private property, they wouldn't be assholes to you.
mvr00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but....." and "It's not hurting anyone"
30 something co worker woman in good looking shape: why are you dieting so much? You're 22 and in good shape... I'm in good shape because I diet... And there is something called intestines where if you eat a bunch of shit you get heart disease and cancer when you get older..
Lots of things really, however one I heard recently, "pregnancy is not a disease" made me really mad, despite not being pregnant (or ever having been pregnant). I honestly thought it was common knowledge that for many women pregnancy is not at all comfortable and can literally be 9 months in hell. Yet people feel the need to point out that a pregnant woman is, in fact, not sick (despite throwing up every day, being in pain etc). The fact that someone cannot sympathize with this is incredible to me. I mean, I've never heard people giving me shit for being hungover (or giving anyone else shit for it, for that matter), they just feel sorry for me, despite the fact that hangovers, as well as pregnancies, are usually the result of a little too much fun in good company.
iocanada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Translates to: I have nothing against Immigrants, but...
A phrase by which you can recognize German right extremists and Nazis.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but ..."
Rawbby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No hook-ups" in a girl's Tinder bio
lloorren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Rad", "Dope", moreso "rad". I hate that word, I physically cringe. It just sounds like the kind of thing that someone with no real human interaction would say after watching an afterschool special.
bjneath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little late to the thread but "epic fail." I can't stand it. don't bring the internet into real life!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who use "business slang" in everyday conversation.
These same people typically treat all their friends and acquaintances as nothing more than "business alliances." Thanks but no thanks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Needless to say..."
This phrase literally does not need to be said. If you don't have to explain what follows, you don't have to waste my time with "needless to say..." If you're going to explain what follows anyway, you needed to say it.
Wrum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it funny that some religious people think atheists are immoral because they don't do good things for the ultimate reward of heaven. Isn't it more moral to do good for the sake of good than thinking you will be punished or rewarded for the way you act?
Mine is anything alone the lines of 'Walmart is an evil company'. I worked there for a while and the only time I heard it is from people buying cart loads of cheep crap they couldn't afford elsewhere.
I absolutely despise the phrase "agree to disagree." Bitch, we were having a meaningful conversation about differing opinions and then you just drop that shit and walk away?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They don't want to argue anymore because it is going nowhere.
Kingful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Every time I mention something about myself to my friends that are psych majors, they try to dissect and diagnose, out-loud, why I feel/act the way I do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. That would piss me off too. But remember there are probably millions of vegetarians out there and only the ones telling you about it all the time really make the bad name.
"I'm blessed" and "I'm well and hope you are too". obviously responses to a how are ya doing type question. that's pretty much a conversation killer and a major fuck you.
taj693 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bless your heart
crewblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep it real" is usually a self-awarded license to be a judgmental asshole.
Any variant of trigger that isn't said sarcastically. You're triggering my murder-response.
mikeltru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not an exact phrase but those people that only upload images with phrases to Instagram. I used to follow a girl that did that. She used to upload images with phrases like "My favorite age is NOW" or "Fuck I feel good".
Not that I'm challenging you, or trying to be a dick in any way, but what alternative phrase would you use for types of media through which people socialize?
"Twitter users" etc. Also it's abused. Moderation is key, I hear that shit on the reg and its always like "how has social media changed x" and its always the same dumb social commentary.
Pretty much anything with the word "-Gate" at the end of it.
DeflateGATE
GamerGATE
Watergate was a place, not a suffix that means scandal.
I understand why it's used, it just bugs me.
israblof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a _____, so it's OK for me to say that"
i.e. "I'm black, so I can say n****r", or "I'm a Jew, so I can make Jew jokes"
nrobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people who use business jargon for completely ordinary things. Example: "Going forward, we're going to reach out to Carol in accounting for her perspective on the reorganization plan."
TIL you cant say anything without annoying one person.
Boush117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to the Internet.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If someone is a "Meninist"
mbertels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase necessarily, but I had met my friend's fiance a few times, and he was incredible nice and I really liked him. Then out of nowhere he went on a 10 rant about how any woman who marries him will absolutely be taking his name and I haven't liked him since.
For me, it's when someone uses a cliche instead of actually thinking something through. "That's just the way it is" or "You gotta do what you gotta do" for example.
My step-mum says "made of awesome win" all the god damn time, as if that was ever an ok thing to say.
Ebriate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I hear 3 "oh my god" statements during normal conversations.
Oh my God that's so annoying.
Honorable mentions are "you know what I'm sayin" or "like" in between every 5 words.
People who say:
"go hard, or go home",
"c'est la vie", and
"pacifically" instead of "specifically"
And on a side note, every second Big Brother contestant who feels the need to make a point about how "you don't wanna mess with [them] because [they're] always ready for an argument or fight and [they'll] never back down because [they] always win, get what they want and [are] really outspoken"! Urgh, spare me!
penea2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why haven't you decided what to do with your life yet? You're at the ripe age of 14, you should know what your future is already. Jesus Christ people I'm not ready Im just becoming a sophomore. Sure, I'm considering options, but I shouldn't know what I want hands down already
When I was dating online, "down to earth" would make me nope right out of there. Unoriginal, overused and means nothing. And you sound like you're an idiot that never tries new things.
LilMerm8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate cats" First I get angry, then I make it my mission to convert them
It's a popular quote from baseball Hall-of-Famer, Yogi Berra, who was partly known for making pithy, tautological, and sometimes paradoxical statements including the also well-known "It ain't over 'til it's over," as well as "You can observe a lot by watching," and my personal favorite "Always go to people's funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours."
Like Yogi himself, I think a lot of people say this phrase ironically. Or maybe not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The chive on thingy. I instantly am filled with hate
"It's just banter" - there's a fine line between banter and just being a cunt. And you my friend have crossed the line if you have to use this phrase. Cunt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thematically they've actually had a pretty close relationship throughout literature and mythology. Mostly in the Western world due to the apple from the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden.
Tree of knowledge/Carnal knowledge, loss of innocence, etc. The connection has been a staple of Judea/Christian symbolism for centuries and persists today in popular culture.
Wyvrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who vape can annoy by how zealous they are about it. But that's not what this thread is about. this thread is about when vapers call smoking cigarettes "smoking analog" because that is the stupidest thing i have ever fucking heard.
"Wow you're a [enter console name here]!
That console sucks! [console name] rulez! The [console name] controller is hard to use...etc.
If you're a true gamer, don't hate on the effing console! Get the console that has the most games you like then SHUT UP AND PLAY.
Only hate on terrible games though...
" I used to be a real asshole when I was younger. I'm a much better person now. "
Rarely is this true.
noahgs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fat women who say men who dont want them just dont have the proper "equipment" to handle them
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" if u got swagg holla"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best." I just assume you're constantly a pain in the ass and still want people to treat you however you want to be treated at that particular moment in time.
"GMO's are evil", "We need to live in an oil free world", "We need a global paradigm shift", or any other bullshit.
It just tells me that:
1. This person is strongly opinionated yet ignorant.
2. This person doesn't recognize the benefits these technologies provide them.
3. This person thinks other people should put in the work to change the world, and that their job is to tell everybody else to put in work.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in college and came home for the summer. Whenever I ask someone how their year was or how they're doing literally everyone responds: "living the dream"
Hint: if it's only "like" literally, it's not literally.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Recently hung out with this guy who said "Same" after literally any statement someone made. If you don't have anything to add to the conversation its totally cool to just not say anything, you don't have to force your way into it
It's always said by the laziest under-performers in my team, which means someone else has to make up for them. You spend 1/3 of your adult life at work, if you don't want to be there, go do something else, take some goddamn pride in it or don't bother.
Mingan88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I am in or see a confrontation between a man and a woman, and the woman says, 'What you think you're such a big man?! Hit me! Show me just how big and bad you are!!!"
I always have the urge to do so, and think, 'What if I did though?'
Literally just heard a lady in the chair next to me (at the salon I work at) say "Hillary Clinton should be in prison." I doubt she's a very friendly person.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sweggin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"A lot of people don't like me, I guess they just have bad taste." Or basically any phrase implying that they're a bitch or an asshole and they take pride in it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love that Jeff Dunham guy.
Or
I have a pet bird.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "obviously" or "as you know" or "everyone knows"...
Any white guy who feels like calling a black person nigger when no black people are nearby. Just because I'm white. Dear man, many of my friends are black, and even they usually refrain from saying nigger when I'm around. AND you are a stinky redneck so go back to your hidey-hole you shit talking trailer trash.
"Sorry bout it," or "sorry - not sorry," in that bitchy little tone. Or anything that uses "TOTES." "Girl we are totes going to that party." Paul Rudd popularized this with I Love You Man and I thank him for his comedy but that word can burn in he'll.
Mevotex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I want to speak to the manager" 99.9% of the time it's over some ridiculous bullshit like a price going up or that they didn't like the salad they ordered.
"Now, I'm not racist, but..." When a sentence starts like this and it's not out of sarcasm, I immediately don't give a fuck what you're going to say and genuinely feel the world would be better off without you.
pcrnt8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Toodles, ciao, or anything made to make you seem "classy" on your way out. You speak English, so just tell me good bye instead of trying to be cute on your exit.
rattfink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Stand and deliver! Your money or your life!"
First of all, you're robbing me, which isn't cool. Second of all you are a gross hipster anachronistic who's trying to bring back 18th century highway robbery. What is that? Is it an art piece? Is it theater? I want to give you my money even less now because it's going to go support more of your ridiculousness. You'll just have to settle for one kiss of these cherry lips.
"Learn to take a joke," when they've just called me a terrorist or a cow-worshipper because I'm brown. One guy yelled this at me after screaming, upon my having entered the room, "he's gotta bomb!"
I was understandably upset, but this didn't stop the rest of the class from insisting that I should "have a sense of humour."
"According to (Insert daytime TV pseudo quack)......" or "I heard on (Insert daytime TV pseudo quack show)....." and they never bother to check any other sources other than what they heard from Dr Oz, Phil, The Doctors.
There are exceptions, but ultimately, I believe humans are too stupid to practice this concept properly. Odds are, if you try to justify your actions as tough love, you're really just being an asshole. Again, there are exceptions. Just don't think you're one of them.
Z0bie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No it's not what it is, you lazy asshole. You're just to lazy to do anything about it. My boss use to say this all the time.
mrzisme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Whenever a human describes another human or their self as a "brand". If you ever discuss yourself as a "brand", you're automatically an outrageous, self-absorbed asshole in my eyes. This list includes Kayne West, who loves discussing his "brand", multiple Kardashians, who openly discuss themselves as a brand, and basically 75% of pop stars who found fame within the last 5 years. Take special note that actual super stars and personalities of much greater fame & fortune and 10 times the record sales of Kayne never use this word. The only people using this self description are young, idiotic asswipes who've been bamboozled by corporate advertising buzzwords, served to them from these record companies who, although mostly abandoned, can only get retards to sign contracts with their labels.
Living in Minneapolis, people from Chicago that go on and on about how awesome Chicago is and how much better it is there can go fuck themselves.
Chicago is fine. It is like really big Minneapolis but it smells awful. Chicago-ians are fine. I'm going there in a couple months and I don't plan on going on and on to people I meet about how great Minneapolis is.
Actually, after really thinking about that, I probably would..
Permanent hate. You are the worst type of pompous pseudo-intellectual ass.
It fails for two reasons... if your audience is too dumb to get the pun, pointing it out won't help, and if they're smart enough to get it, pointing it out insults their intelligence.
That was just luck.
Especial in relation to gaming, I stream a lot of Hearthstone and people will comment on like omg so lucky he dropped that card against you. Where I am like, e no that card is not even good or the probability was higher then 50% of the effect to happen so.
I really dislike people who cant comprehend simple probability.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't take shit from nobody" - you're a trashy hothead who doesn't pick his battles, you've been to jail several times, can't hold a job and are all around unpleasant to be around
"What's your fucking problem? You wanna get punched?"
Some guy said that to me when I politely asked him to move so I could get past him in a tight corridor (during a party). That phrase really ticks me off.
Constantly referencing Facebook: "well, I saw on Facebook that..." or "my friend on Facebook..." or whatever. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are some cool/funny things posted on there, but every conversation should not root back to something on Facebook.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, according to this thread, 90% of what people say is considered borderline criminal.
That bullshit Monroe quote about deserving at her best... You all know the one. Only ever known bithy girls ever use it... That phrase is just a crutch!
Only saying half a word: legit (instead of legitimate), cray (instead of crazy), and worst of all jelly (instead of jealous) - it's the number of syllables!!!
nklr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I almost always regret asking someone "how's it going" because these days many of them respond with: "It goes." Don't know why, always makes me cringe.
Also, people who put Mr./Ms. before a person's FIRST name should be temporarily muzzled.
Lastly, very specific: I was once dragged by a friend to a Cinco de Mayo party exclusively attended by Caucasians. When the host referred to a bowl of microwaved Velveeta as 'queso' I wanted to punch him in the fucking throat.
Fuck off. If we're having a conversation, I am thinking about it. Clearly I'm thinking different things about it than you are, but your view is not 'obviously' correct because you deigned to give the topic a moment's thought.
(I work with a lot of condescending meat-heads)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most people who use this aren't in management, the call they made is nowhere near the executive level. I mean good for you, you moved something along but really?
Warnex9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Legitly"
You know there's a really word for that, right? Your shortening it only makes you sound like an uneducated moron.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone quotes Marilyn Monroe or Coco Chanel.
Marilyn Monroe didn't say those shitty ass quotes and Chanel was a Nazi spy, so, no... I don't take what they say as the gospel.
Lurker13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Edit: I can't believe this is my top comment!!"
You must not get a lot of attention offline and when your shock comment gets noticed, you have to inform the masses as if we are your parents and you're seeking our approval.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like, um" or "Bro"
sdreal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, I'm entitled to my opinion!" You are entitled to your opinion but I'm also entitled to my opinion that your evidence is non-existent, your logic is horribly flawed, and you're a complete idiot.
"Everything happens for a reason", when someone is trying to make you feel better.
Yeah sure my dog died for a good reason and WHAT FUCKING REASON WAS THAT?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
technically that is true. If you are best friends with someone you don't hate people based on their race. You may hate the majority of a race because of statistics but that is not racism.
I'm not sure if this is some strange new coconut water, quinoa phenomenon, but I really dislike when people say "Be Well" as a form of goodbye. To me it's like a namaste/amen/bless you kind of farewell. It also sounds pretentious and weird.
Just say goodbye, or see you later. Unless you just had an AMAZING heart to heart, and the person you're adios-ing is going through some intense shit, you have no excuse to sound so douchy on every farewell.
TLDR: Saying "Be Well" as a goodbye will definitely set me off on the opposite intended course.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At Walgreens for a time the workers were required to say Be Well.
Just using the word "true" by itself in a conversation after asking an important question. One friend literally asked me why I was feeling depressed and I spilled my guts to them as to why and all I got back was "True". That word alone will make me hate you so much if you use it like that.
"I'm a diehard..." If you're a diehard anything I'll assume you are easily swayed by the opinions of others and lack the intellect to research facts for yourself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When asking a customer how their day is and they respond with "just another day in paradise! HAHAHAHA!".....ooookay.
emtarace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't date _____ chicks.
I don't date _____ guys.
OK. Sure. I guess a person's personality, sense of humor and intelligence should fall further down the list of requirements in seeking a partner, than some 'physical appearance' preference.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dumb white women who say "ThEEEnk you" instead of "Thank You". Shit is so far from cute, makes me want to vomit. The girl could be a smoke show and I would no longer consider her attractive.
FACPFACE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to say it's when people say, "I want to say..." in answer to a question, i.e. "Who is the biggest d-bag of the GOP candidates?" "I want to say Donald Trump."
Well, if you want to say it, say it!
sheeple - used when dismissing people out of hand because they conform with a different set of norms. No one else is thinking things through, that is something only you and the people who agree with you have done.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my god that is SOOO funny!" Then why don't you fucking laugh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's a slap in the face."
It doesn't even matter what the context is, whenever someone says this I start wondering whether their opposition/enemy might not be right to do whatever they are doing.
I can't even adequately explain why it drives me nuts. Maybe I feel like, if something has you upset, you should be able to explain why it is upsetting and wrong convincingly, rather than equate it to physical violence that didn't happen in an effort to get people on your side.
My new roommate says "Happy faces" and "Sad faces" with a bit of a lisp in response to awesome or shitty things, respectively. I hate him for other reasons too, but that shit drives me crazy.
While discussing prices on something I'm selling, the customer smiles in a manner meant to establish rapport, and says, "Well, maybe I can Jew you down...."
"I know, right?" - It's what stupid people say when they want to say something but don't know what to say.
zeanphi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, blahblah...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not an utter twat, I'm just being honest."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the kind of person who...
If you have to explicitly state what kind of person you are, you're probably full of shit and just attempting to project an image of the person you'd like to be.
I'm in my upper 20's and I hate it when people say stuff like "you know you're an adult when..." and they finish with some lame shit like "you get excited about buying a couch on a Saturday." No that doesn't mean you are an adult. That means you are boring.
jlenney1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"BRO" but only usually if they're from California or Arizona
The rest of the US and world gets a pass on that one bc it's a different "culture" of douchebags and lifted trucks here
"All my friends are guys, I just tend to get along with them better. Girls are so much drama!" (said by a girl)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Barely having met someone -- "So, what church do you belong to?" "The one where nuns grouped around me get hit by a bolt of lighting." -- sometimes I say "dont worry, it was gods will"; ends the conversation pretty quickly.
People who talk about all teenagers like they're some new, awful trend. We were all teenagers at one point, and we all did the same stupid shit. I'm afraid of losing touch with this fact because that would mean I'm a boring fart.
jclin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when people describe themselves as being brutally honest as a good thing. No, it means your classless and rude.
theisal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in a red state. any truther bull shit. something bad has happened somewhere, people are talking about it, how sad/tragic it is. "well if Obama had not done X crazy thing that never happened, non related issue C would have never happened. you know hes a muslim right?" at least once a month I have to deal with the shit from a stranger.
NDaveT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason."
__JPC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any time I am having a debate with someone (heated or friendly) and they tell me to "just relax" or "chill out" it has literally the opposite effect in that I tend to accidentally KILL THEM WITH MY BARE HANDS ANSFOQWENGLSEGNGS RAGE
OverHaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist but"
The Taxi driver special
RMF_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bitch I'll downvote you and tag you as an asshole so that I can downvote you every time I see you.
eureka00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know why they don't like me"
Well I don't want to find out.
Beat9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any variation of 'people make mistakes.'
The mistake in question is almost always an act of greed or selfishness or something morally reprehensible, yet people say 'it was just one mistake' as if cheating on your partner or stealing from your family is the same as forgetting to get somebody's burger without pickles.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who confuse literally and figuratively.
Basically any phrase that starts with "I literally..." Or someone who uses "like" as every other word in a sentence.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of the Marketing Planners at work say "net net". They use it like 'long story short' or 'the takeaway'. So, they'll be going over their stupid creative brief then say, "so, net net..." Before telling me what I need to do. Drives me crazy.
49j ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest ...
206l0v3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man that's hecka _________! If you say hecka instead of hella it will always piss me off lol I'm sure hella sounds stupid too some people too but it's been a part of west coast lingo for a while.
'The man was English, 'from across the pond,' if you will'
I hate that shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On dating profiles, regardless of whatever else appeals to me about that profile, I will ignore anyone who says they are "looking for a partner in crime".
Either you are literally looking for someone to commit crimes with (in which case no thanks but good luck to you), or you are in fact looking for some fucking originality.
CLEAR26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well you're not incorrect..."
ErrorRon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only God can judge me." In my experience the people that say and have this tattooed on their bodies are the people that should be judged by society the most.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, it's often the people awaiting judgment by the court system who say this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they use the word 'awesome' in a way that doesn't make sense.
For example: "This takes like awesome."
Gromby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bro"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be a fucking passive aggressive bitch. If you say this, I assume you're a total bitch. I'd rather hear someone say, "I have a problem with your...." rather than give a bitchy snarky tone. Giving a direct answer will both help solve my and your problem without any passive bullshit.
mikeywin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone uses "Irregardless," it takes every ounce of willpower for me to not roll my eyes and scoff.
Sometimes said after a person makes a stupid mistake. There were underclassmen who did this when I was in high school. I still think less of them 14 years later. My brother has Down Syndrome.
"I know more about my childs medical condition then the Doctor/Condition specialist."
rcl1221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm busy."
throwmes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep Calm and _______ on."
This single phrase has become so bastardized and used by any company that anyone with it/saying it makes me instantly dislike them or the company it is associated with. Lately I have taught myself to stop reading past "Keep Calm" so I don't ruin any more things for myself.
When anyone jumps on the bandwagon of the "new and hip, cool" thing to say.
Like the latest one:
"deez nuts.... HA! Got eem"
Its not the saying that bothers me. Its the fact that a bunch of people hop on a bandwagon in an attempt to seem cool or something. It annoying and pathetic. I instantly think the person is super self conscious and that's his/her only way to fit in.
explanation: while a person certainly has the right to talk to me if they received poor service, 95% of the time it's because they asked for something they are not entitled to, and got mad when they were told no.
Class Warfare - Is probably some brand of nut, with the brand tending to be based on who they think is being oppressed. But usually I find it's whiny rich people complaining about taxes.
libtard etc - Person saying this is not worth speaking to.
The use of "like" as a filler component of speech more than once per minute. Over sixty times a minute makes the speaker sound in need of speech therapy. There should be an app which counts the number of times people nearby say "like".
The word "just" when applied to anything the speaker wants me to do, implying that because they think (wrongly) that it won't require excessive time and resources, I should do it for them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, that's just how YOU feel".
It basically tells the other person that they don't matter at all. There's nothing wrong with listening to another person's thoughts and feelings on something.
Beareggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men who use "Girrrrrrrrllllllllllll......... " all the time in their sentences. I don't have a problem with anyones sexuality, it's just really annoying and we aren't all girls.
Also double negatives " I don't want no (insert whatever here)."
Once met a lady who casually used the phrase "Jew-nited states of america" casually while bitching about politics. It didn't even make sense in context
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like whoa"
"Omg totes"
any time people speak like an abbreviated text message I instantly lose any desire to get to know them anything more about them.
and if you say "Hashtag what ever the fuck " I'm imagining breaking your god damn fingers.
bdubayew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Noooice!
gogojojo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not like, when someone is getting shit on and just using the phrase go shrug it off, but when someone is being a shithead, gets called out, and responds with this.
NavaHo07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anytime anyone says "acks" instead of "ask". Also when people say "Calvary" instead of "Cavalry". The former was where Jesus was Crucified outside Jerusalem, the latter is horse-riding soldiers.
Seriously, fuck you and your passive-aggressive, basic attitude. I don't know why but it just makes me violently angry. It particularly ties me in a knot if another minority uses this phrase. Again, I don't know why.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not like other people."
ALXVEL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate dogs"
well fuck you too then.
nmc9279 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You need to watch Fox News for the real information"
"Well it's all Obama's fault"
loumi02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm entitled to my opinion." You certainly are, but that doesn't make your opinion correct nor does it free you from the consequences of voicing it. Smdh.
"Just sayin!" What the hell does that even mean? I feel like people think it's some kind of idiotic place holder for "what I just said isn't going to be well received"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, Right?"
eldeeder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Why don't you...?" When asking a favor. It drives me batshit. If you are going to ask me a favor, fucking ASK. Don't ask why I am not already doing you a favor.
Look, you can eat whatever you want and not eat whatever you want. If you think you feel better without eating wheat that's fine with me. But there are people out there with legitimate allergies to something you just want to opt out of. Since everyone says "I'm allergic to gluten" now, you don't know when someone is actually allergic to it and when they are just being trendy.
My oldest kid has a couple dozen food allergies and people like that make me want to slap the shit out of them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 10-year-old's best friend has life-threatening allergies to nuts, egg, and gluten. You can tell because he brings a COOLER with him everywhere he goes because he can only eat about 8 things and it's really better for his mother to prepare everything for him. He also carries a BAG full of Epi-pens and medical information on what to do if he goes into anaphylaxis.
So when someone says "Eh, I don't feel like bagels today because I'm kind of allergic to gluten", I also want to slap them.
I have obsessive compulsive disorder (The real, panic attacks and debilitating anxiety kind, officially diagnosed) and while I'm quite high functioning (none of my ticks are as extreme as I've heard they can get, like going into a restaurant to fold all of the napkins a certain way every morning and stuff) it's still a very hard strain on my life on a day-to-day basis, and that's exactly how I feel when people say "Omg I'm so OCD". People should probably try to refrain from using actively used medical diagnosis as figures of speech.
I personally think its just an excuse...they can't think of a reason why they shouldn't but don't want to so suddenly i don't have the perfect stink....which it turns out drug dealers have in spades
Woah....sorry, guess I'm still a little bitter
Choreboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No I agree, it's definitely an excuse. I'm just saying it's a real thing, but they're obviously lying about it and probably don't know much about it and how/why it exists.
ctn91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"From the get go."
I had a alcoholic chain smoking coworker that used that phrase way too much. I can't stand it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's better than "From the gecko", which I have also heard.
"I don't care what other people think of me". However I'll complain and act out anytime someone disagrees with me or criticizes me. I do this to prove I don't care what those people said so you know I don't care and it has nothing to do with my own insecurity and I need you to validate that I definetley shouldn't care what they think about me even though I really don't care anyways.
Yes, yes you are. Sorry, but you're not a unique snowflake that stands out because you want everyone to think that all other girls are shitty compared to you.
I worked at a computer shop a couple of years ago, 1/2 of the people that walked in there had to tell me that they were "computer illiterate". No you're just fucking stupid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe, had areas of expertise that were not computers?
It's not a phrase, but when someone feels the need to emphasize their statements by using one hand as a fist and hitting it into the other hand, open-palmed, after every. Fucking. Word. It makes them look like an overly dramatic idiot.
sscall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't ask permission, beg for forgiveness"
Fuck that just screams negligence and then acting sorry once its over.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That phrase screams immaturity. It's for people who haven't seen what consequences really look like. Throw a couple weeks working on an orthopedic trauma unit, a few divorces, two homeless guys, some drug addiction, long-term unemployment, extensive property damage, and a teenager who wonders why dad never calls on her birthday on top of that.
Any phrase which includes the word, 'Irregardless'. It's a double negative enclosed into a single word, used to express the opposite of it's literal meaning. Just say 'Regardless'.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not a phrase, but something one of my new coworkers said to me on their second week on the job.
~Storytime!~
I live with my family in an apartment complex with various shops located on the first floor below my unit, and one of them is a restaurant I work at.
One of the new BOH workers that just started a few weeks ago quickly learned that I live upstairs, and suddenly he's ALL OVER ME every time I go into the kitchen. He doesn't know anything else about me and I don't even know the guy's name, yet all of a sudden he's trying to be all friendly and nice, (and failing miserably too, I might add...) I do my best to just ignore him.
So this goes on for almost two weeks, and he just refuses to give up. So I stop what I'm doing and ask him directly, "Okay, seriously... why are you suddenly so interested in me? I don't anything about you and you don't know anything about me."
His response? "Because of the condos, man! You got access to some fancy shit upstairs and I want in on some of that!"
I could not believe he just told me that. He brainlessly told me that he liked me only because of what I had.
So I bluntly told him, "Okay, listen, we are NOT friends. And no, I will NOT risk getting my family and I evicted for letting a stranger into a private residency and put everyone's safety at risk for letting said stranger wander around willy-nilly."
TL;DR: People who only like me for what I have and not for who I am as a person. FUCK THOSE PEOPLE.
I can't stand it when people are just being dicks, but they have that "affectionate" title of Asshole, so they get to say and do whatever they want with little to no consequence.
isla42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when guys say at parties "this is SUCH a sausage fest"
The weather does not have mood swings or suicidal thoughts, it does not lash out at its family and friends and then internalise the anger. It is weather. It changes. That's it. Fuck.
Exactly. It gives no information, and so many of the people saying it seem to feel they've said something profound. I don't always dislike people who say it, but it's a red flag that we probably won't get along well.
I usually don't necessarily instantly dislike the person who says it, either, but right then, in that moment, yeah I want to strangle them. Truisms are just fillers and therefore a waste of everyones time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When you have some time, I'd like to discuss an amazing opportunity with you" - especially coming from friends and relatives trying to sell you on Advocare/Herbalife/Roldan and fields... Etc.
"If you hurt her, I'll kill you." Fucking hate that line that every girl's girlfriend wants to use. Don't you want me to be good to her because I love her and not because you're threatening me?
When people write "kk" it annoys the hell out of me, especially when it's in a situation where ok works fine. It makes it sound like the person saying it doesn't care that much about the response or is too impatient to listen. When someone asks me a legitimate question and I give them a fair response, don't blow me off with a kk dammit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I respond "kk" in lync at work all the time, after reading this, it does seem unprofessional, and lazy. I will stop now, okay?
There is almost always time to do something you want to do. It's really that you didn't want to do XYZ. Admit it!!
seasond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't you too old to __________?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Am I right or am I right?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - every crazy bitch ever. Thank you, Marilyn, for giving crazy bitches a battle cry. Seriously every girl (I just can't call them women) I know who has reposted this quote on facebook is the sort of girl to be horrible to the guy they're with, then freaks out and can't understand why they're relationship didn't work out. This quote doesn't give you a free pass to be psychotic and hurtful to people you care about.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Starting or ending a statement with "I'm an engineer". I heard this one more than once while living in a major tech hub.
call-now ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever anybody thinks their opinions are facts. For example ; "This song/artist sucks"
Who the fuck are you that anything you don't like must suck?! I guess everybody in the world who enjoys things you don't are all wrong because you are all-mighty and if you don't like something, it universally sucks
I get it, there's a kinda sorta distinctive flavor of stupidity on display at /r/tumblrinaction, you don't like them and want everyone to know it. Good for you. But any remotely worthwhile use the phrase may once have had is long gone due to the people who seem to think it just means "anyone who cares about respecting women and minorities." I've seen it used to describe a writer just for creating a gay character, or a lesbian for complaining about being hit on by a man. If you don't see any distinction between that and the mattress project or whatever the latest right-wing outrage du jour is, you're the problem, not the SJW.
"Hi I'm [name], president of the [Blank Blank] Homeowners Association."
Homeowners associations are the governments that happen when a small group of people who hate government get together and form a government.
Petty, abusive, insular, selfish, short-sighted, greedy, racist, classist, narcissistic, self-important, meddling busy-bodies. And you just notified me that you're their leader.
"Everything happens for a reason" : YES, YOU IDIOT, IT'S CALLED CAUSE AND EFFECT. Unless they do actually mean that but usually people who say that do mean karma/fate/whatever. Ugh. That and "If you just put that out into the universe then...". Instant fall from grace in my eyes.
No it's fucking not. Everyone knows that you just made up a fucking new class for you to be "best" in. Go back to being subpar in your real class, because I'm not buying your marketing bullshit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is..."
No shit? How observant of you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you say this, you can choke on the english language and die sir.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Pandas are too dumb to breed to save their species."
They breed just fine in the wild- plenty of other endangered species don't like breeding in captivity either. I don't think the leafy sea dragon has EVER bred in captivity. Plus, they have no concept of their species being in danger!
I dislike this because it's symptomatic of accepting counterjerks without doing any research on their own.
R7ype ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be honest," Usually followed by some regurgitated opinion or semi offensive statement. I firstly doubt your honesty all together and also your brain capacity for wasting your one truth on some bullshit you picked up off Fox News. As a matter of speaking the "to be honest" is usually implied unless you are a pathological liar.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless
xaminmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a non/semi-technical person tells me a high-tech task does not take any time to complete.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I went to schools name and majored in something completely unrelated to the subject so I know a lot about the completely unrelated subject that I didn't major in"
Unnecessarily antagonistic/mocking comments about religion or lack thereof. I don't care if you believe or not, but seriously, that doesn't mean you can't be respectful enough of someone else's beliefs to refrain from telling them that the deity is an "imaginary friend."
And ditto for religious people being antagonistic to atheists, too. I get it, you want to spread the religion, but there's a point where it just reflects badly on the religion as a whole. If they aren't interested, move along.
ZionFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"May the fourth be with you."
Especially if it happens on my birthday, (4th May). I do not, and never have liked the Star Wars franchise, and I despise anyone who says that to me, so much so that I avoid Reddit on that day to halt the flood of posts with that very same title, or somewhere in the post content.
"I'm voting for Hillary Clinton because she's a women", or "I voted for Obama because he's black". Voting for someone because of their race or sex is a sure sign that you're stupid. If you support them because of their politics then good for you but if it's just because of those reasons then I have no respect for you.
When the guy I'm dating called me "young lady". Instant turn off. We're not that far apart in age, and it makes me feel uncomfortable about why he's dating me.
mr6volt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they start a sentence with "I know in my heart...".
may substitute any other Federally recognized Native American tribe.
Speak your language. <- yep got that one last week.
Zeozulu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"... just saying."
When clearly they have an underlying point they want to get across without actually directly speaking it. Typically something overtly racist or insensitive in some way. A conversational connect the dots if you will. It fills me with a rage I can't describe.
jesrad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In other words, you know you're about to say something assholeish but somehow saying no offense but gets you off the hook. All it does is prepare me for some shiity thing you're about to say!
oncie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"OMG i'm so worried over this test!! i have anxiety!!!1"
No, you don't. Do you worry about your car not having a full amount of gas before leaving to go literally anywhere?
Do you pass out from being scared or confronted?
Do you fret and worry yourself to the point of physical sickness if you get a bad grade on a test?
No? Okay. You MIGHT have anxiety but being worried over something like that is normal.
LDawg618 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is almost the exact same example I use when explaining depression. "I'm so depressed I got a bad grade on my math test." Uh no you're not. You're upset.
Moneyley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have to go with every single mom's hook line on dating sites- "My kids are my world"
As soon as you are introduced to them, "I'm one of those people you either love or you hate." For some reason that always rubs me the wrong way and I like meeting new people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't care what anyone thinks, I speak my mind and if you don't like it that's tough."
These people just want a free pass for being rude all the time, and are even trying to spin their disregard for other people's feelings into a positive personality trait. It's scumbaggery at its finest. If you are one of these people, fuck right off.
This one was not grammatically correct until one day somebody decided that it was. That's too much power for anybody to wield.
The other one for me is when people use work as a noun unless they're evil scientists in a movie. Example "We have one of those at my work". This didn't used to exist until recently. Everybody in the world would have used 'job' in that situation up until about 5 years ago.
Blubalz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo
Hines ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That sounds like a (insert your name here) problem."
"I told you so."
"I'm offended."
"My parents are staying with us for a bit"
PeteLX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you say anything along the lines of "Socio-Communo Anarchist", along with disliking you, I will never take you seriously ever again.
Alternatively, if you start talking about pronouns a person has made up for him or herself, I'll politely ignore them and watch you foam at the mouth from the folly of your passive-aggressive principle of inclusion by exclusion as I refer to you as either "he" or "she". Fuck SJWs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, but seriously though..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a good Christian."
To me, it implies that I'm a piece of shit, because I don't share their beliefs.
I know it's in regular usage and, no, I don't think that means it's right to use. We can approve something. We can give the fucking go ahead. Hell, we can sign things and, in a different context, sign off.
Have a Good One. It always pisses me off when somebody says that to me. It feels disrespectful
IGetThis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What? Why?
I say this sometimes when hanging up. It's just kind of automatic and it encompasses have a good day, night, weekend, holiday, etc. Whatever is coming up. HAVE A GOOD ONE.
I mean... how is it disrespectful, I just don't get it.
When at a job and it's obvious that something should be done a different/better way, the management just say, "Welcome to <company>" like there is no point in trying. Shitty complacent attitudes make me furious
BAMspek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When taking someone's order: "give me a..." Or "let me have a..." No fucker ask nicely.
LDawg618 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard someone say "I want a...." and that made me cringe too.
BAMspek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It just sounds needy. But it's not as rude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That kid who's always like "you know if the teacher doesn't show up in 15 minutes we can just go home" whenever the teacher is running late. You're a dumbass and I hope your truant ass gets sent to court
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any variation on the words 'innovative' or 'cutting edge'.
No, your product and/or company is just another small spec of bland insignificance.
It annoys me that they somehow expect me to buy into a product's novelty more than its relevance.
I don't care if you've created the first ever set of holographic curtains, I like my motherfucking sleep.
Technically correct, but not in the sense in which this phrase is usually said, which means that there is some sort of divine plan which means that this specific thing needed to happen or will be worth it in the end. What kind of shitty divine plan needs a cancer patient to develop HIV (or another horrible scenario of your choosing)
EDIT: Or, "Only god can judge me." Wrong, I'm judging you right now dumbass
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a right wing fundamentalist Christian. Jesus loves you and you SHOULD dedicate YOUR life to him". No thanks, let the shepherd have his sheep.
"As a mother..." Fuck you. Breeding doesn't make you wise. It doesn't make you superior. It doesn't make you a better person. Your child isn't a miracle. Cockroaches have 200 kids a day. You've been outdone.
Misusing the word "ignorant". Disagreeing with you does not make someone ignorant. Acting in contrast to something you know does not make you ignorant. Knowing but not caring does not make you ignorant.
I work in customer support, and this old lady called about wanting her money back on a product she purchased several years back. I questioned her about how she used said product and her response was, "I take care of my stuff, and I'm a christian so I don't lie"
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
I get unreasonably hateful when a person writes "since" as "sense" (as in a synonym for "because"). Most other grammar mistakes don't bother me. Maybe because an ex always did that.
korochan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Excuse me for trying to be a decent human being"
Those who claim they're decent are probably aren't decent people and are probably blind to their own shit.
m-p-3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"microagression" (except when used ironically or to make fun of the entire idea that people should be protected from every little thing that affects their delicate psyche.)
When people say "It is what it is" The fuck it is, you control your own life.
Also anyone who's forceful with their religion. I'm always up for listening about different faiths but when I'm watching the science channel in the break room and I explain to a co-worker how the reason black holes are black is because their escape velocity is faster then the speed of light, that's why they are so powerful and you lean in going "IS'NT THAT COOL WHAT GOD MADE? HE'S SO POWERFUL" I don't care Kristie fuck off.
"I just say what's on my mind." or "I tell it like it is." This usually means I'm rude and I don't care. It really pisses me off when they attribute this to being from New York.
Dutchan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's basically saying that boys are stupid and more able to get away with shit and that being a girl is worse than being a boy. People shouldn't get an excuse for being stupid just because they're a boy or a girl.
That Marilyn Monroe quote girls with shitty personalities use to make themselves feel better when guys stop talking to them after they act like a child.
No, sadly not. Peng as an expression of joy or awe. To use it in a sentence.. "Have you seen my new top? Its well peng. Mainly used by teenagers and idiots
Dafuq? You really should invest in some lethal injections to kill whatever morons live in your area.
Boush117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone using hashtags or typing you as...you know.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"She deserved it for what she was wearing."
Alright I'm not some crazy feminazi (note the distinction between feminazi and feminist), but that's just incredibly stupid. The phrase itself is absolutely ridiculous.
Dutchan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't LIKE what I write on my PRIVATE Facebook, so DON'T LOOK AT MY FACEBOOK then!"
See this shit a lot when people make a big joke about themselves or posting way to private things.
And then the dumbasses got their profile on ,public,
wowszaR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, right?". If you know, why are you asking me if you're right?
e111baty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a list of things that one person I know often says. I usually leave the conversation shortly after...
"As a songwriter..." (This one usually comes up after he says something negative about a song someone likes that's playing, or a band, etc. This is how he begins to defend simply being rude to someone else when it is in regards to music.)
"As a supertaster..." (The same thing as #1 really but replace music with food)
"That's just a really lazy way of thinking." (The opinion of someone else that doesn't match with his. I wouldn't complain if it was actually lazy and a problematic way of thinking, but this is just what he says when someone says something he doesn't agree with.)
"I'm really sorry you think that way." (It's used when #3 is used but usually is accompanied by a chuckle and a 'I've had it' kind of attitude.)
Whether it's being trotted out because they no longer want to talk about it, they've been proven decisively wrong, or whatever random heavy particle has just whizzed through their head that happened to nudge the circle of willis, doesn't matter. Hate it.
I hate when someone tells me "we need to talk" but they want to have that conversation 10 hours from now so I'm left tortured all day wondering what the problem is.
Going forward -- SJW -- Snowflake (snowflake generation) -- An armed society is a polite society -- The real world -- I'd vote for Trump -- I'm not a racist, but... -- Low hanging fruit -- Seamless solution -- I'm carrying -- Whatever -- LOL (in place of real laughter) -- Fox is fair and balanced -- We are committed to... (coming from a company that is anything but) -- Alphas, deltas, gammas (as classes of male) -- White knight - The earth was created 6,000 years ago.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Redundant adjectives.
Cool website is cool... no.
Angry cat is angry... fuck off.
If you use these, you need to be chemically castrated.
aestus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The gripes people have with certain turns of phrase are even more annoying than the phrase itself. So much overreaction, overstatement, exaggaration. Cool your titties down.
(Insert anything or anyone here) is my spirit animal.
blakfeld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone says "Now-a-days". No, shit isn't just get worse. Things sucked just as much back then, you just don't remember it. Stop being such a goddamn pessimist.
45cats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I forgot my crazy pills". No you fucking didn't, absolutely nothing is fun or wacky about taking those kind of pills. It is trivializing conditions that already have a public stigma.
PJroast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people rate something "as fuck."
I have a bad mouth when necessary, but that phrase is just so lazy. And it doesn't even make sense!
Like why are you trying to conclude a conversation which is actually incredibly complex and open ended with this kind of simplistic "an apple a day" "a stitch in time" nonsense!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lofilofi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using "derp" in any situation. People use it to fill in the blank when they can't think of the right word to say. If you can't think of a word to say, just don't say anything. Not that hard.
more like specific words:
1. Yum! and its derivatives (yummerific!) although this pertains mostly to writing like yelp reviews, blogs etc
2. Hubby. Interestingly, there seems to be almost 100% overlap in these two categories.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's better to let 100 guilty men go free, than one innocent suffer." Often used as an anti-death penalty argument but the quote has literally nothing to do with the death penalty.
Every person ive known that has said that, has had a horribly trained dog.
Fuck just recently, we were visiting my sisters aunt who has a husky. it was chewing a bone under the table. my sister was on a swivel chair, just swiveling back and forth. Her foot happened to pass by the husky. And the husky snapped and bit her foot.
word for word from the owner "aww look at that face. you cant get mad at that face!" Did nothing to reprimand the dog at all. Then about 10 minutes later the dog was begging for food, and the owner shooed the dog away. to which the dog snapped at the owner. Nothing was done about that either.
"I'm sorry, but" means I'm about to say something nasty, racist, homophobic or whatever, but you can't be offended because I'm sorry in advance that you're so sensitive.
As a mother you just know... Or any variation. As if taking a dick and not doing anything bad enough in a 9month period somehow give you new found, mystically endowed, wisdom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What the actual fuck" is the dumbest goddamn statement. Putting the word "actual" in there does not make it somehow more meaningful. It's even worse when people say it out loud.
It's suppose to mean they are easy to get on with and/or popular. But it makes me want to stuff their mouths full of dog shit and staple their nostrils shut.
samuelk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to go against the grain here. I really, really like it when I hear people misuse phrases. I think it's because I watch way too much Trailer Park Boys. But I just think it's cute and funny.
Vyri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a biomedical programmer hacker chef janitor CEO of Microsoft race equality movement activists abortionists feminist
I hate people (especially on foruming sites similar to reddit) that say :
As a _(insert profession here)_
Look I bought an original NES/Atari/N64 and 500 games at this garage sale. - Congratulations on trying to dig up child hood memories that weren't yours. People who never grew up with an NES like to post this shit as if these games were masterpieces. No, they weren't, and we tolerated them because gaming wasn't everywhere like it is now. I was given 1-2 games a year, so I played the fuck out of them (beating them dozens of times).
I also HATE the "look at my Zelda sticker/triforce lamp/shirt/hoodie/link hat/shield/master sword/poster/dildo" It's fucking stupid; followed by the responses "OMG I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE" for everything Zelda. No one really likes it that much, but it's a bandwagon thing that has gone on far too long.
" If you don't like it, then you can move".
This indicates to me that either I am a master debater (heh) and have completely flummoxed the other individual. Or I am a jerk and should move away. Either way this usually signals the end of an enjoyable high spirited conversation.
In a professional context - I hate people who use phrases like "as I've just said" or "so obviously" in presentations.
"As I've just said" in answer to a question implies that if I don't remember then I wasn't listening, and that's my fault. But in my experience, whilst you might have said it usually the reason I don't remember is because you didn't make your point in a memorable way, which is a failure of the presenter not the audience.
"So obviously" implies that if I don't immediately understand or see the connection, I'm dumb, and that's my fault. But in my experience, usually the reason something isn't obvious is because you didn't draw the thread well or tell the story properly, which (as I've just said) is a failure of the presenter not the audience.
When people fuck up their grammar because they consider it "slang". One of my long-time friends has gotten into the habit of saying things like "I seen that the other day" when I know damn well that they are smarter than that and know how to use correct speech. It's like it is cool to be grammatically incorrect now, and you get criticized if you correct them, or don[t follow the same flow. Fuck them.
To begin, they've misquoted the bible.
It is: The love of money is the root of all evil.
Sometimes, this is a tester phrase used to determine if anyone will correct them.
Sometimes, this statement is made by somebody who never read the bible, and never will, but they are claiming to be Catholic or Born Again.
Secondly, it just not true.
We live in a world with evils that have nothing to do with money.
danzey12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I only smoke when I drink"
Foxkeh1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a problem with gays but/except when/however...[insert homophobic comment here]."
Leaving out a few details but when I was young my house burned down and our neighbors way of comforting us was telling us "Its just stuff". Like ya, it's just stuff but it was tens of thousands of dollars worth of stuff that we needed. Gets me real mad just thinking about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says "Don't worry about it", especially when they're doing a crappy job at something that's going to cause me to get paged in the middle of the night.
Popguy68 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All the shit they ask for in the job descriptions:
"Hit the ground running..."
"Self-starter.."
"Must be a CLOSER!"
blablablablabla
Recently I was at the range and I asked one of the experienced workers for some tips on shooting my rifle to get better, his response: "pull the trigger"
"Oh I offended you? I'm an asshole! It's what I do!!"
Yeah that's probably why no one wants to hang out with you and you're stuck bitchin on FB "When you real to everyone but when you want to hang no one is real to u."
Anything along the lines of "calm down bro I was just joking, no need to go overboard" after reacting to a thinly veiled insult or ill humored put down with a joke.
Anyone who does computer speak out loud. When I'm talking to someone and instead of laughing, they say "lol" either saying the letters or pronouncing it as a word, it grinds my gourd like nothing else can. IRL, IDK, BRB and other initialisms or shortening of words that should only be done in text or writing instead verbalized of any kind, it makes me think that they're the kind of people that don't actually know of the world outside of their phone/computer.
oh, i guess i've never really had a problem with allergies
stemanuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who add .com to an adjective to make an amusingly profound statement. For example bored.com. Same thing has recently been happening with the word hashtag. Some little fucking retard I work with, and I'm guessing most people born after 2000 think that this symbol # is a hashtag, it's not, it's a fucking hash you spastic.
Less a phrase and more the state of mind that certain things "just aren't done." Why? "They just aren't." That's not a reason. That's cyclical and pointless. "Look, this is just the way we do things--" WHY. WHYYYY WHY WHY WHY.
I never did understand why you're not supposed to put your elbows on the table. Chewing with your mouth open is gross, sure, but come on...
polakbob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"You should do this. I'm a x."
When a patient's family member interrupts an exam to tell me they work in the medical field. I like a good, engaged family, but I really don't care how many years you worked as a receptionist at a clinic or as a transcriptionist or as a nurse or whatever. I just want to take care of the sick person in the room. You slow down the exam, break the rhythm, and inevitably end up being the person who drills me about how I'm going to address that sbp of 135 before it kills your loved one.
"I know how bad x is. I have y that's required 3 surgeries! I'm basically a celebrity patient at the hospital."
Close 2nd place to the person who reminds me throughout my exam about their medical issues... when someone else in the room is the patient. Your family member / friend is sick enough to be in the hospital. Let's not make it about you for a minute or 2, hoss.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's how we've always done it"
"It won't make a difference"
"Who cares"
I get these all the time at work (paramedic) and they are exactly the wrong attitude. Nothing we do is benign and everything you do should have a reason you're doing it and everything you aren't doing should have a reason you aren't.
"Normie." Like doing anything that a majority in society does makes you some inherently bland and boring individual who just follows society and everything that it tries to impose upon you.
I recently got an iPhone after being a long time Android user and I was called a "Normie" by a friend. It's literally a cell phone.
Anything indicating that they believe white privilege is a real thing.
Goatmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only good snake is a dead snake
Chezler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LITERALLY not a phrase, but I LITERALLY can't take you seriously if you say "LITERALLY" LITERALLY all the time.
I remember in school maybe 4th or 5th grade when the word caught on briefly, but thankfully it never took hold. Now you can't go anywhere near young women without hearing LITERALLY sprinkled in every other sentence.
Old boss used to say "You know what it is. ..is, " then mind numbing verbal vomit. That and bae, on fleek, and my new personal favorite that all the intelligent people at my work say after everything they say, facts (sounds like fax).
It is what it is.
Infuriating. Because I believe I can change any current situation I am in if I do not like it. This statement means "oh well you can't do anything about it" which drives me insane.
When I'm trying to illustrate a point, and someone nitpicks at unrelated parts, and I never get to make the argument I intended. Instead I'm stuck in an unrelated argument on the correct time and place to use where, and when to use whence.
ElJacob0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have left a party half way through when one of the guests responded to a story about shitty traffic with, "That shit is so gay".
Yeah I don't talk to her anymore.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I could care less. '
Saying this implies that there is some interest.
Instead why not use 'I couldnt care less'
this suggests that you have ran out of fucks to give and is grammatically correct when used alongside the implication
Sycrane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool beans. Ugh.
tak_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So true."
BotoxGod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CBF or I can't be fucked. My friends are in this generation, so they use their phone a lot, can't fucked to talk, can't be fucked to look up a fact.
Legit pisses me off, they want to play their games but can't be fucked to play mine. If you are talking to a teenager, and ask them a small favour and they don't respect you, this is the answer you get.
Anything with 'otherKin' used to describe their being. Any use of furries.
Any use of Trigger without having PTSD.
If you're saying discussions of things that are making you uncomfortable are 'triggering' then I don't want to know such a close minded shallow piece of horribleness.
prepares for downvotes
denimdr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We need to bring Bush II back."
picassyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when someone is being complimented and instead of just saying "thank you", they have to say something like "OMG NO YOU'RE PERF", "that's you omg heart eyes emoji", or "YOU'RE LITERALLY PERFECTION"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like all types of music except for maybe rap and country.
ukulelej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who refers to their friend group as "squad". Also people that actually say "kappa" in public rather that using actual sarcasm.
drcadlo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kappa
ukulelej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's fine if you are on the Internet. But to take it outside makes my blood boil. Now that I think about it, the phrase "makes my blood boil" probably pisses somebody off.
Shihana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just a ______" referring to animal, as if they're automatons and don't have feelings. Nothing pisses me off more than a total lack of empathy towards other species. They're living things too, even if they don't feel things on our level, they still do.
incuspy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"as if!" as an exclamation
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any marketing buzzwords/phrases my "favorite" one being in a collage advertisement assembly hearing one of the people say "you can do call of duty style brick laying"
Anyone who says 'anyways' rather than 'anyway.' Not sure why that one bothers me, but any time I hear anyone say it, I automatically think they are an idiot.
"Don't work to hard!" To hard? So slack off at my job and then get fired?? I don't get this phrase but yet I get it every morning from my mother in law before I head out the door!!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Humankeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When ever I hear a woman say "no good men are left". I simply assume it's that non of the good men want that particular woman for some reason and to stay away from her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using the word trope.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have an employee that randomly stops working to spout crap and the main contents of his verbal shit storm is 'Do you know what I mean?' and 'Are you with me?'
Yes. Yes I do know what you mean but as you are a bigoted arse, I am not 'with you'. Shut the fuck up and get back to work.
"To beg a question means to assume the conclusion of an argument--a type of circular reasoning. This is an informal fallacy, where someone includes the conclusion they are attempting to prove in the initial premise of their argument--often in an indirect way that conceals it."
Cyganus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I live (East Anglia U.K) people have a habit of saying "I done this" instead of "I did this". It makes me want to punch them repeatedly in the face.
I have just realised how petty that is. But it still makes me want to punch people.
but sometimes "Please advise" is professionally preferable to "You sent me a load of incomprehensible shit. What the fuck am I supposed to do with it you half-witted imbecile???"
"that's just how I am " when referring to a negative personality trait. No, asshole, you just refuse to take the steps towards changing and blame your asshole-ish ways on "that's just how I am"
I know it's 10000 comments deep but "forever alone".
eklect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you even lift?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
telling someone how old i am and them responding "i thought you were 16" lol. like you can keep that to yourself
also pointing out someone is quiet cause thats just rude
"don't put off for tomorrow what you could do today."
Ooooor schedule your time appropriately and then you can distribute the workload evenly throughout the week. Some people are convinced that everything has to be done that particular day, even when it will make absolutely no difference to anyone if it is done tomorrow.
bobby8u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
worldstar
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a...
kvaltx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You are so blessed!" when they meet my child or find out I'm pregnant. Uuuugh.
Edit: Have to add. Anyone who says "schizophrenic" when they mean dissociative identity disorder (multiple personality disorder). These are two very different things. Look it up.
Edit 2: anyone who swears with "cancer", or kanker, which is a thing in Dutch.
People who brag about not being able to boil water. What the fuck, you need food to survive. How the hell can you not master simple shit like grilled cheese and pasta?
I also can't stand "food is fuel" people, who just eat the same like 4 things (I'm looking at you, ramen) because eating's some huge chore.
Crayform ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Jus sayin'" or any radio commercials that use 'hip lingo'.
When someone says "Oh I was born bad at XYZ (usually academic)"
For example, "I was born bad at math"
TL;DR: Admit that you're not good at something rather than making excuses. None of us can be good at everything, AND THATS OK.
The reason I hate this so much is because it is both the most selfish and self-involved statement I can think of, and also just so untrue, and anyone who takes pride in that field should be offended by this statement.
Why you should be offended:
Believe it or not, humans were not born knowing how to do a lot of the things we study in school or learn in our daily jobs. When someone says this statement this is the kind of picture I get,
(using this example of math)
"Legend has it that as PhilUpTheCup was taken from his mothers womb, he was unexpectedly followed by a graphing calculator and a sheet he wrote of all the trigonometric identities!"
No. None of us were "born good at math", however we are all different and enjoy different things. John Doe might LOVE math and thats great for him! He'll probably study it really hard and get good at it. Sally might not enjoy math, and so she doesn't study it and falls behind, AND THATS ALSO OK. But it's not ok to say "oh he was just born better than me".
If I'm John Doe in this case I would be offended. So you mean that me being better than you at math has nothing to do with how hard I worked to get good?! You think it was just chance?
Sally probably loves a lot of things that John doesn't, and is probably better at those things. AND THATS OK.
People should just suck it up and admit that they're bad at certain things because they didn't put work into it, AND THATS OK.
Why this is self-centered:
This explanation is much shorter. You really think that someone, something, cares SO much about you that they went OUT OF THEIR WAY just to make YOU bad at XYZ?! I know it may not seem self-centered because you assume a negative trait, but the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. The universe did not go out of its way to say "hey fuck you Sally I'm gonna make YOU bad at math mwahaha" It probably didn't give a single fuck when making you because let's face it none of us are really special. There are 7 billion people in the world and you think that whoever/whatever makes us has time to go out of it's way just to make YOU bad at XYZ.
(Don't take this 100% literally) They say that no two snowflakes are ever identical, just as no two humans are. However, I doubt that whatever makes the snowflakes spends more time on certain snowflakes and less time on others. Stop thinking that you're that special snowflake even if you think you're an especially ugly one. Get over yourself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I already knew about that from Reddit! " gets me every time.
Horse625 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The thing is is..."
DrSuviel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Dating profiles that unironically start with "I am just your average _____," or even worse, "I'm NOT your average _____." The latter is actually just the less self-aware version of the former.
cwcannon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
namocram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm (fill in the blank)". Funny, smart, or nice- these are things OTHER people can say about you; you shouldn't be saying them about yourself. I usually find the opposite to be true, by the way. For example, "I'm funny" equals painfully unfunny.
I used to work with a kid fresh out of high school at Dominos who said "I'm hip" constantly. Me and my boss wanted to smack the fuck out of him every time he said it
"I'm a very deep/sensitive person" <-- These people tend to be very shallow and empty people
"I have an IQ of <insert here some wacky number over 125>" <-- Should be obvious why. Usually adding "this is why I have so many problems socializing/studying because I'm not motivated".
"EVERYBODY has been mean to me my whole life (includes family, friends, work acquaintances)" <-- Despite portraying themselves as the victims, they are usually the aggresors to everyone else
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I just believe that everything happens for a reason, you know?"
Look, believe what you want to believe, but whenever I hear that shit, it's always some rich white girl with a very easy life. It's something they believe not because they critically thought about it and came to that conclusion; they just heard it, thought it sounded nice, and decided they believe it.
Sure it's easy to believe that everything happens for a reason when the biggest adversity you've faced in life is your parents getting divorced and then in the end everything turned out for the best, but try telling an African child soldier getting raped by a bayonet that it's happening for a reason.
It's an empty statement anyway. Yeah everything happens for a reason, that reason being whatever caused it to occur. That doesn't mean it happened for a good reason or that it's for the best.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"im not (phobia/racism here), but..."
example: "im not homophobic, but i feel as gays shouldn't be allowed in the same dressing room as str8 men. You don't allow men into the woman's dressing room."
aamfs94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense"
Ugh, this doesn't negate the offense of what you're saying. If you're going to say something critical or outspoken then at least stand by it instead of trying to mitigate it you prick.
But anyone named Christopher that goes by the name Topher.
Go by Chris you pretentious fuckwad. (Although so far, I haven't met a "Topher" that wasn't a total douche so maybe it's a nice warning sign? Still bugs me.)
"Quit using straw-man arguments." I see this all over the internet all of a sudden, and I have seen ZERO people use it correctly. Just because you don't agree with someone doesn't mean they are using a straw-man argument. That phrase refers to a very specific logical fallacy and not to every illogical argument.
I know a gal that will rattle on about little or nothing and end every story with "just sayin'". Ugh! I hate listening to her or reading her texts/posts/etc
Sometimes in Canada it seems like the last acceptable bastion of racism is Aboriginal people. When someone says that First Nations/Inuit people are rude or unfriendly, what I hear is, "I acted like a jackass and the other person responded accordingly."
I know that this is a stereotype itself, but every single interaction I've ever had with a First Nations, Inuit, or Mรฉtis person has been exceptionally warm and friendly.
viett_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dan2907 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I just feel like it needs to pop more."
I'm a web designer.
Also, despite the fact I use it myself from time to time, I've developed a mild hatred for "it is what it is". At first I convinced myself I hated it because it's a lazy thing to say... but really it's because it's code for "I don't care, shut the fuck up".
Kintuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hitler was right to kill all gays. All gays deserve to go to hell." My former supervisor and that alone made me despise her strongly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'd like to pick your brain" is used a lot in business networking. I just hate the phrase and have refused to meet for coffee if that's how you ask me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Good by inbox!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but," "this might seem racist but," followed by racist arguments, denial of the existence of prejudice or anything else to that effect. Same applies to sexism, religious discrimination et al.
It's like you're aware of how racist you are and refuse to do anything about it! At least some folks I've known who have been raised in prejudiced environments can be shown the error of their ways. It's not like they want to be racist/misogynistic assholes. But you: you're not just an asshole, you're a stubborn, lazy asshole - the worst kind of asshole!
vorpike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
surp_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You just believe everything the government tells you". Or anyone who uses the term 'sheeple'. These people get all of their info from sites like spiritscience.org or themindunleashed etc and they're quite simply just idiots
MrKurama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you and your constant use of the word aesthetic
n1282h ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...my SUV..."
I'll never understand America's fascination with this bloated, lifted, wagons. They don't do anything better than your typical wagon and most don't have any more room than a full-size car. Yet people say it like having one is a status symbol.
"I have two kids and I just love them to death. Being a parent is hard work."
When asked how old their kids are, they say, "I got Blade Runner when he was a puppy, so he's four, and I got Honey Bun as a stray, so I'm not sure how old she is."
I'm a bisexual man who has long been an active, proud, member of the LGBTQ community. However this phrase is starting to get thrown around a lot, and not just at hetero allies, which is bad enough, but also towards non-trans gay and lesbian folks. The argument is that none of our struggles will ever compare to theirs, and if our support isn't perceived as strong enough, or loud enough, we are not good allies. The very people who are upset at being marginalized are marginalizing their own allies, and in the process are risking alienating many people who love and support them. This madness has got to stop.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Look who I just met reddit"
"Best photobomb ever"
"Look who I found"
" no filter"
"No makeup"
"DAE remember these from the early nineties?"
" PC master race"
" I'm sorry for hijacking your comment"
Wow. Jesus. A lot of you seem like judgemental mean people. I have some phrases that bother me, but I'm not going to * "want to punch them in the face" for people using them.
I was at work (serving tables) and a family was talking about politics and the mother turns and says to me "I really love Donald Trump, he's just so smart and I think he really gets the common people wouldn't you agree?". I literally stared at her for a moment waiting for her to laugh as if she was joking because obviously this statement is so ridiculous, she just stared at me without cracking the slightest smile. I just responded by saying "ummm not getting into this conversation hehe" and awkwardly walked away. Now I hate her.
Late to the party, but, "It is what it is.". Yeah, and you can go fuck yourself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
omg I'm so ADD LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOL!
ktappe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason."
Really? Then tell me why that kid got cancer. Tell me why lightning struck that mom of three. Tell me why that other guy who went to church every Sunday and volunteered at food banks died when a brick fell off a truck and smashed his car's windshield.
dosmae14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Who tryna ____??"
(insert anything, usually party/chill/"turn up")
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hated The Princess Bride" not that I've met many people who have said such a thing...
matcochr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People using "methinks" on social media (especially Twitter, because it uses the same number of character as typing "I think"); you don't live in Elizabethan times, you are just being pretentious.
Anyone who can only interact with a famous person by quoting or imitating a thing they once did gets me. We get it, you like what they say/do. Try interacting with them like people now.
I work with a rude Eastern European woman who I've been open about disliking. She says the same unnecessary phrases over and over again but they're all slightly off, with the exception of a few. People have corrected her and she never fixes them. From what I can recall the worst are:
"Back way when."
-"Is fine."(as a standalone response to a question.)
-"At the end of the day"
-"Let me understand"(this will be said when she cuts you off to reveal she hasn't listened to a work you said)
She will be the primary reason among few others for why I leave this job.
pwnda9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi.
Camkwat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dont you just love when you are talking to a very shallow person and they tell you how intricate they are and how much depth they have when they clearly dont
Absolutely any phrase spoken into one's cell phone while a server (me) ~patiently~ awaits one's order. Note: job security is the force that restrains said server (me) from death glaring that phone right outta your hand.
On tinder: Any variation of "if you don't like me, sorry bout it" followed by any combination of "sassy" emojis.
It basically translates to, "If you don't like me, its because I'm a vicious cunt and I don't feel its affected my career enough to change. So fuck you" Also, already a drama case who lacks self reflection.
If you start with the "yassssssssssssss." It's become the new "bae" for me which strikes a cord in my stomach that is often associated with the sensation of gagging. I catch myself doing it with my fucking friends who started that shit, I hate myself, but I'm not going to like you if we start out like that. I've got enough of that shit to deal with.
Dotpboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm super passive aggressive" No, your just a pussy
Rufen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, can I get this cake for tomorrow morning?"
I work in a bakery in Wal-Mart. It's 8 pm and you just -now- want to order your goddamn minions or [insert disney shit here] cake? Th sign says between 24-48 hours. That notice isn't for me it's for the decorator who works 9-5.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What do?" If you ask me that I will just turn around.
riotistx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RIP my Inbox.
Cool. You made a sick comment on reddit. Yes, I'm jealous of your karma. YES, I wish I did it. Pretty sure your inbox is fine. Shut the front door
mellena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im not racist but" ...yeah you problem are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody who calls me "boss" and does not directly report to me at work
Everything happens for a reason. Hot damn that is annoying
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People that say "You know what I'm saying." A lot of people that say it are either from prison (or have been in prison) or extremely uneducated. When I here it, it usually follows some basic sentence. For instance The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round. You know what I'm saying. I just want to answer back "Yeah, I'm not fucking retarded."
jupiter5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is in graphic design. Her answer is "make it pop," because what does that really mean?
MrSups ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How do you not!?"
How do I not like something you like? How do I not have the same goals as you? How do I not have the same history as you? How do I not do things like drink and smoke?
Easy, I'm not you.
That's not to shit on the ask reddit threads literally asking asking for advice on 'how do I not' do x, y, z in order to imprive themselves.
I'm talking about that kid who just can't wrap there head around the fact that I can have a different experience and life than them.
kilo73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually worked with a girl who brought them up her first day. "You know, organ food really isn't organic if it isn't grown indoors. You have the government spraying their chem-trails all over, no wonder everyone has cancer."
"As a vegetarian..." - Yes, that's fantastic you're a vegetarian, but some of us can't physically eat a vegetarian lifestyle. Save me the guilt trip of how I'm "ruining the ecosystem" by eating chicken, thanks.
MrSnap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's all well and good but...
exoxe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're a customer and say, "I have a quick question."
Well, sorry for boring you. I thought it was a cool story...
aebelsky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
rad, super, bitchin
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an Irish person, when Americans pronounce Paddy's day with a "t" rather than a "d". Also that anyone believes we actually say "top off the morning to ya", I mean do you really think we are a nation of drunken leprechauns chasing after rainbows? Come on guys! (swigs whiskey)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This isn't going anywhere constructive".
Usually used by religious people when I've sourced quotes from their leaders admitting that such-and-so thing really did happen the way I just said it did.
"It's policy"
Invariably used when the speaker is unable to win an argument with logic or reasoning and needs to shut down further discussion lest they look foolish.
I am [insert any and every fucking marginalized group and/or physical or mental condition]
Fucking hell! The blatant abuse of labels we have conceived for real fucking reasons. You are not ocd just because you are neat, you're not crazy just because you are acting stupid, you ARE, how-fucking-ever, undermining real people with real issues and problems they are dealing with on a daily basis, 24 fucking 7.
You who do this shit: there are real people with real serious problems--and then there's you, you fuck.
1daf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So tell me about yourself"
CodyCus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"just say'in"...yeah, I know! Everyone is just saying things, everything that is coming out of their mouths they are saying!
..ugh, it is the laziest ending to a thought
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when someone says "supper" instead of dinner. I know I'm not in the right for disliking someone for it, but I do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using the term "librul" non-snarkily.
Kogusoku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "In a previous life I was a(n)..." while they refer to an old job. You can see their eyes light up before they say it... it's the worst.
its most annoying in online competitive communities where it it used all the fucking time (namely Pokemon: "with the proper support Garchomp can wreck havoc")
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, it doesn't really matter" or nay variation of that used during an argument. Obviously it fucking matters to me, that's why I'm talking about it.
"You think that's ____ (good/a lot/something noteworthy), well I _____ (something better/more/bigger)"
Example: "oh you won $500 at the casino this weekend? That's nothing, I won $2000 playing poker 5 years ago"
Nobody likes a one-upper
lulucat9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I met this guy (friend of a friend) on the street. He kept saying 'tis the way the world works' he probably said it a total of three to 4 times in a matter of 6 minutes.
I wanna upvote about 95% of these suggestions - when has that happened? Thanks guys! Guess I'm an inside-complainy hyper-irritated guy - hadn't realized that. Oh well. Thank y'all for legitimate lolz on a Tuesday night.
"I'm computer illiterate." Always with this shit eating grin like they're proud to not know how to use a mouse.
I work in a library's computer lab and help everybody log on and print and find google. Every time a patron says this to me I swear I can feel my blood pressure jump.
What type of music do you listen to?
Oh me?? Everything :)
........
There is no motherfucking way you listen to everything I listen to or even remotely close to "everything."l
"I'm totally fine with those gays, I just don't like it when they shove it in my face. Also it's gross when I see them kissing. Like, have you no discretion?"
I think that's actually a very relevant question when you're first trying to get to know someone; to know how they spend 40-50% of the hours they're awake every week.
Maybe you're getting caught-up by the possible implication that they're asking more about the money/income aspect.
In that case when you hear that question, if you don't want to be the typical miserable pessimist, that they're asking... how you spend 40-50% of the hours you're awake every week.
beastium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day..." I know it's the modern version of "when all else is said and done..." But all I can think is "at the end of the day... We go to bed?!"
"I could care less." Means that there is a possibility that your amount of care could go down.
"I couldn't care less." That is what you mean.
jakobair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me Abraham Edison invented electricity. I laughed fairly hard and told her that had to be the most stupid thing anyone has ever said. She cried, then I felt bad.
MacPho13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any version of, "If we allow gays to marry then adults will be marrying kids, humans will marry animals or someone will marry their car!!!"
I just don't get it. It's NOT the same thing! Hearing it makes me want to abruptly end the conversation and walk away while mumbling cuss words under my breath.
G00Gz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say/use the "words" anywayS, forwardS, backwardS, etc.
So fucking what? Don't like it? Walk away, turn off the TV, close Firefox and go live in a hole. Being offended doesn't make you right and gives you no power over other people.
maetik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm tempting fate here, but I can't stand it when someone "whatever." It's so dismissive. The entire of someone's argument, belief, or ideals dismissed with no rebuttal at all. Just like their entire life is meaningless.
Even when it's used by them about something they're talking about with the dreaded "or whatever" example. It's just... infuriating, care enough about yourself and the people with whom you're speaking to offer real words and ideas.
I feel so strongly I've had to make up excuses and leave when people say it. Far too timid to ever strike someone for it, but I like to imagine it in detail that if described to the authorities may solicit unwarranted psychiatric treatment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything dank anything at all. Fuck you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says that something is "AIDS"
labruins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yolo." It's actually a good philosophy to live by, that you will only live once and to make the most of it. But so many people have downplayed it and made it in to a clichรฉd, overused saying that means nothing
'Just sayin'.' This assumes an absolved culpability for whatever heinous previous thing has been said, much the same as the southern U.S. phrase, 'But bless his/her heart.' Both are often said with a wink and the former drives me up the wall....
I'm fine if some one disagrees, but if you do..at least have some form of counter-point. Don't just yell, and if you need to curse...I will intensely dislike you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin" or JS on social media.
Makes me want to punch them in the face.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't think global warming is a thing."
Basically a fifth of my highschool right there, there's so much evidence for it too, and yet they can just wave it aside like it's some sort of trick because Fox news told them so.
No one who uses this phrase thinks their opinion is humble, because if it was, they wouldn't have to say it was. It's the conversational equivalent of driving down the street booming out the Star Spangled Banner to prove how patriotic you are...as a Canadian.
If you hear this phrase used in real life, run. Go far, far away because nothing good can come after this abomination of a conversational gambit.
Oh, and if you actually use the term IMHO, then yes, yes you are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"hubby"
Bartybum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Here in my garage, just uh bought this new Lamborghini here..."
Anagatam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ALLCAP5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey buddy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
really? How come?
ALLCAP5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well mainly like at work when managers use it and they know your name. It doesn't necessary have to be directed towards me either. It just the way they say it. It's in there voice or tone.
People who are asked to do something relatively important and respond "I don't have time." Well make some time. Maybe turn off the reality show your watching and you'll have some.
echo_zoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You da real MVP!"
or any other le reddit army BS
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I "legitly" anything.
I want to give anybody who says this a purple nurple.
IamVexx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything preceded with "hashtag". Oh and the word sassy.
People will hate me for this but "According to the bible..."
For the sake of my inbox, I have no issues with religion but if you're using this book as a source for anything academic (outside of theology), you are wrong. Period.
Edit: a word.
mrnagrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"people will hate me for this"
Nobody ever gives a fuck, ever, it's always something that eleventy billion people on reddit are totally cool with.
Ehh I have some friends that are pretty hardcore Christians. We just don't talk about things we obviously don't agree on.
mrnagrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So do I. They are respectful enough of my beliefs not to offer me prayers. I afford them the same respect in not applying my beliefs on religion to them.
"youre not wrong" ... when its not followed by "but you are an asshole"
it means first - the person cant admit someone else is right, and secondly they're insinuating you're an asshole, but wont even come right out and say it.
its an indicator for someone who has no respect for you or your opinions, and doesnt have spine enough to call you out if you actually are an asshole.
probably doesnt help that the only person i knew who used that phrase regularly that way was an alcoholic who caused me to lose my house, and he'd usually say it during the "dude are you trying to fuck up Both our lives" talks.
Bolsen2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses words that aren't insults, as they were insults. Also, using things that people can't control as insults. Ex: Using "gay" "retarded" as insults, when
"It is what it is" this platitude usually after someone at work failed to have a plan or ignored a prediction that if we went down this path we'd end up with this mess...example- when we won the war in Iraq but failed to have a plan to rebuild. "Yelp, it is what it is!"
EricKei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not ____, but ... " (where is something like "racist/sexist/homophobic, etc)
Just stop right there. Yes, yes you are ____. If you weren't, you wouldn't feel the need to act so defensive about it. Besides, Whenever someone starts out with that line, the very next thing they say disproves their "disclaimer."
nerdsten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Swag"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God has a plan. Or. God works in mysterious ways.
Oh, thanks. I'm grieving over my wife getting hit by a bus. But random lady at work tells me (an atheist) that God fucked us on purpose. (Hypothetical example, wife was actually hit by cement truck).
A friend of mine keeps saying "lit". No idea what the fuck it means, but it pisses me off. "Tomorrow is going to be lit", "I was so lit", "That was lit".
VAPossum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know you don't like anime, but let me tell you all about my favorite anime. I bet you'll change your mind!"
mallad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lately the marketing with a few words as sentences. Some are appropriate. Most aren't. And some are just silly. If you have three points to make with one word each, sure!
"Eat. Sleep. Reddit." That makes sense.
"Reading. Is. Fun." That does not.
Also when people refer to permanent jobs as 'full time'. As in,
'well I'm just temping now but hopefully they'll hire me on full time!'
"Oh how many hours do you work now?"
'40'
"So you're already full time"
'No I'm temporary"
katha757 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't even understand..." when talking about petty bullshit. This isn't exactly rocket science asshole, I think I can comprehend what you're talking about just fine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo.
Still love you ray <3
Juapp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost always someone who's about to (or just did) say some foul shit about other people. The phrase literally has no meaning anymore, besides "someone who calls me out on being an asshole".
Cuck is another good one. Really, the best you have as an insult is a vaguely racist implication that I like watching other people fuck my girlfriend? That's a solid leap of logic for someone to make.
mumzieee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I answer the phone at work "thank you for calling <my workplace>, this is mumzieee." And the caller says "yes hi, may I speak to mumzieee please?"
Even if they were only half listening they'd hear something that at least sounds like mumzieee and put it together, right? Nope. This tells me they weren't paying any attention at all.
Oh, and when someone calls and asks for a phone number then says "hold on lemme get something to write with". Wtf! Get your shit together!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "stay tuned" when you ask about something that's not finished yet. Just fucking say its not finished, I'm not going to "stay tuned" to your stupid fucking thing which is prob going nowhere anyway.
"Gitter done." "Hammer it down." "Stand tall." "Put it to bed." "Harder, faster and more efficient." And any other stupid phrase my bosses say to make me get my work done.
People do this? In real life? While speaking? I've seen it typed like this a lot, and that drives me crazy. If someone actually said it, though, it'd be even more craziness inducing.
JugV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've only seen it in type not heard it in conversation. I don't think I could let them live if they actually spoke the word in front of me.
Then they follow up with a whole laundry list of shit that needs to be done immediately that they've known about for over a day. These assholes always seem to call you 2 minutes before the workday ends.
Really? You couldn't email or call me with these issues earlier!? Makes me die a little inside.
Bickus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"a couple [anything]", rather than "a couple of [anything]".
bgiarc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much any sentence that involves god, god please do this or god would/will do that etc...... If you don't like what i just said keep it to yourself, a question was asked and i answered. If my answer offends you sorry, at least i didn't go into detail as to why it makes me dislike someone strongly, but that is what i think & feel.
I live in Utah so it's something I hear at least weekly. It's so pessimistic and ungrateful towards all of the people that did so much to make the world what it is today. War and infant mortality are at an all-time low. Standard of living is at an all-time high. We've eradicated smallpox and just... Fuck. Life is so good for us.
Saying 'I could care less' when they mean 'I couldn't care less'. Pisses me off and some people don't even understand when I try to explain the difference.
"I think all (insert service/commodity) should be free"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it is what it is"
its infuriating to hear this every time something bad happens across multiple jobs. "what it is" is annoying as that kid in hs who would always ask you "WANNA HEAR THE MOST ANNOYING SOUND IN THE WORLD?!?!?"
rilliam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(From a woman) "I prefer guys as friends, women are too dramatic".
No, you're probably just a bitch.
benjhs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's so gay!"
Esquiror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I quote, "I mean....I'm not saying, I'm just saying.." No. I have no fucking clue what you are actually saying now, because you won't take ownership over anything.
Hella. I don't know if people still say it, but it was way too popular on the west coast a couple years ago. Shit drove me crazy when everything was hella.
JugV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Australia, that saying has degenerated into "hells". As in "hells yeah". Sigh. It's just as likely to make me want to smash someone's face into a light pole.
We're 50 years removed from protestors being hit with fire hoses and having dogs sicked on them while protesting for the right to basic civil equality.
"It is what it is".
Screw you if you say this. It's a half assed noncommittal reflexive barf of an explanation for a situation you find yourself participating in but have neither the vocabulary to describe nor the testicular fortitude to extract yourself from. I have never heard anyone I admire use this phrase, only those I think mostly suck. The people who use that phrase make my asshole twitch with contempt.
Schwalby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anu26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ambiguous, emotionally open-ended Facebook statuses designed to have people comment shit like "Oh no, what happened", or "there, there" or some such shit.
Like "today was a day to realise the true feelings of emotions and now I know who the backstabbing bitch is" or something of the sort.
Instant delete.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For Sure"
Friend and his girlfriend used this non-stop all the fucking time...
It's like "yes" didn't exist in their vocabulary, just "for sure"...
There are a HUGE amount of ways to say "yes" why did you pick this one and only this one.
"All lives matter" or similar reactionary statements. No shit sherlock, that isn't the point though. To me as a white, straight male who pretty much won the lottery in terms of not getting shit. This statement shows someone up as too dumb to think about how others get treated under a system and/or arent interested in fair play/engaging with other people constructively.
bannana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't make me hate someone, except every internet headline writer on the planet...."Insane". Usually used as a click-baiting headline.
"Kim Kardashian took an INSANE bikini selfie"
"The 2015 Mustang GT did an INSANE run at Nurburgring."
"10 new INSANE apps for Android!"
"Our editors just played GTA V, and it was INSANE!"
I wonder how many people I've upset over the years. I agree with some of these phrases, but I don't see what's wrong with some of the others. Oh well...to each his own.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Along with "the Lord has a plan for everyone".
You can't say this when it only works on your favor and have no logical response. If that's really the case then sometimes the Lord's plan must include the death penalty or being aborted. Can't have it both ways people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rendoog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm too lazy to do 'xyz.'"
This irritates the hell out of me and makes me want to backhand you so hard you'd have four tally marks on your cheek; especially when 'xyz' is something menial and you're complaining about it anyways (like complaining "I'm hungry" but you say you're too lazy to get something to eat).
Crain_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm ___ years young"
Why do people think they're so clever when they say this?
hoybowdy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear what you're saying.
In my head, this translates to "I understand you just said some words, but I refuse to even consider that they may have meaning because I am not interested in taking your point of view seriously, or reconsidering my own."
My therapist mother and I did a year of therapy. Sucked, and didn't help.
3literz3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason!"
Usually uttered by a vacuous teenage girl.
rndmusr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason" No sorry it doesn't.
"I say what I want to say, if you don't like it then tough sh#%"
It's totally fine to have your own opinion but saying this is not a disclaimer for being a douche and not be surprised when people get offended by it. There is a difference between being someone direct and true to themselves, and someone who can also have tact and gather their thoughts rather than running their mouth off and cause drama.
Take responsibility for your own words, actions and how it makes those around you feel.
If I am about to read something titled "how my sister was murdered" I think I already know its about fucking murder. I dont need you to baby me before I read something. Sure, warn me about graphic violence or whatever but told treat me like a child who cannot comprehend that the context of what I am reading or looking at may be uncomfortable.
No. You just said something totally hurtful and shitty and now you're trying to hide behind "honesty". Same goes for "I'm just keeping it real." or "I'm just a blunt person". No - you're a complete dick. Even if what you said actually WAS honest, you either didn't have to say it, or you said it for the express purpose of hurting someone else, you dick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When pointing out a situation, but not providing any direction as to what the 'needful' is. It's the equivalent of "You know what you should do, so please go do it.", and in most cases it's said to the person who is not even accountable for it.
Well, I don't like when people say," It is what it is.". There is no reason to state the obvious in such an obnoxious way. It seems like people are saying this a lot and it irritates me so much but, it is what it is.
"I for one welcome our new ________ overlords," "you have been banned from r/pyongyang/you are now moderator of r/pyongyang," "well that escalated quickly"
"I can tell a lot about someone from m their shoes..."
92759275 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't even."
"What even?"
Or anything similar. It sounds like they aren't finishing their sentence and it bugs the shit out of me. My ex used to do it all the time. Now she's my ex.
peiden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not my fault"
Maybe it isn't, maybe you totally got screwed over, but if you want to convince someone else of that you need to learn to build a cohesive argument and take responsibility for whatever role you played in it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you pick up a take out order from a restaurant and when you pay the cashier says, "So, I guess no tip tonight?" Of course you're not getting a tip because you DIDN'T wait on me.
The biggest hurdle in Quality Engineering. Context doesn't even matter. I immediately assume it applies to how you make love to an immediate blood relation, too. Makes me chuckle to myself every time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only God can judge me!"
Well God thinks you're a slut, too.
muSikid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He is Bae!" God I fucking hate that! Sounds like a fucking goat.
GBinAZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
person A: So where are you from?
person B: Oh, I'm from all over....
No you're not from all over. You came from one place.
Oh my god there was this stupid dumb girl who wouldn't understand the simple fucking question of "what race are you?". I've always asked, and she would say different races every time. But the worst part is whenever I make a very small lighthearted racist joke, she just turns around and acts offended. Apparently she's all the races from what she said. But I still don't know what she is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"something something was legit.." I just hate the word legit now and it ruins any phrase and my respect for whatever you say immediately preceding or following.
Havok310 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference"
That phrase shouldn't be a thing. If it's the same, there is no difference. How "Same thing" became "Same difference" sometime in the last 20 years I'll never know...
When people I barely know say shit "hey there trouble" or " hey what's up , u staying out of trouble? It's a terrible way to start a 1 min conversation of bullshit small talk.
"New year new me" Cause honestly, why the fuck do you need to do it when the year changes?
Any phrase with the word "opinion". You're not a kid, you shouldn't have to hear someone say that. It's obvious that they have an opinion. Saying that just makes it seem that the person thinks you're not mature or that you're too dumb to understand anything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't do my work until you fix [whatever it is]"
I do I.T., but I'm not on the help desk team. If you "can't work" when your 2nd monitors power cable is loose "for the third day in a row", I'm taking your monitor away until help desk can get to it!
This phrase comes immediately after some half-baked bullshit theory they thought up when they were drunk/stoned, and couldn't arse themselves to think about it their own damn selves. YOU think about it, and come back when you have a complete thought.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"It's just a game"
Yeah, but other people are in it. If they express displeasure at your antics, then you should stop being a twat, else you risk alienating everyone around you, and then no one has fun, not even you, the self-center('d) of the universe.
Also; "Relevant XKCD". There are so many other webcomics out there, and yet everyone only over uses this one? You can do better, Reddit.
Starting a sentence with "actually" is almost never needed, and it makes you sound like a know-it-all. Just drop the "actually" and say what you were going to say.
I understand that occasionally this is an accurate assessment however I feel that it's a horribly overused phrase and as a result any time I hear it I want to punch the person who said it.
"Oh, look, I'm a [insert random animal] whisperer!"
No, you're not. You're brushing a goat while he's asleep.
Also, "I have [insert animal] at home, so you don't have to tell me the rules." And then they start petting Chadwick's face. BITCH, HE'S ABOUT TO FUCKING OWN YOU!
"What do you want me to do? Drop my pants and shoot off fireworks?"
My dad's favorite thing to say when I was younger and I was just hoping he would be proud of me. It's funny to me now but when I was a kid it hurt my feelings because I just wanted him to say "good job son" when I showed him something I accomplished.
I get the meaning of the "joke" but I just wanted love damnit!
If I heard someone say this to their child I'm pretty sure I'd have to slap them. You don't always have to be the funny one dad! It's okay to compliment your own damn child, not just turn it into a joke.
Motherfucker, if you wrote me a question that shit is implied. If you didn't, that's too vague to do anything with in any case. JUST FUCKING ASK THE QUESTION.
tog20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a phrase, but a word. When someone who I don't even know or someone I don't like calls me "buddy" I immediately don't like that person. I'm not your buddy.
It has a superior/inferior connotation associated with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It would be easier if you just did it"
Well no kidding, it would be easier for YOU, but you asked me to show you how, not to just do it.
When someone uses the word "kudos".....uuuuhhhhhh(picture that woman from madtv)....gets my blood boiling and I want to throw shit(feces not stuff) at their face. Same kind of people the use words like synergistic....I got diarrhea just writing about this.
I've never understood the enormous respect books and reading get. First and foremost, it's an antiquated technology. I can read the same paragraph on my computer and then research a question I have. Can'[t get a question answered by a piece of paper. But if I tell you I read it in a book, only then am I considered worthy in of the pursuit of knowledge.
Besides, most "readers" I know don't pursue knowledge. The vast majority are reading fiction, but they are somehow regarded as intellectually superior because they read a lot.
I'm not knocking books, nor those that like to read a lot. I just hate this incessant notion we have as a society that Books > All. It's almost like it's become some lost martial art that grants enlightenment upon mastery.
"Vaccines cause autism" this one is self explanatory.
"Don't say/do (insert random non offensive thing here) or you'll trigger me."
As if they're some kind of human weapon with no control over themselves after someone does something to "trigger" them.
"Know what'm sayin?" Like the kid off of We Are The Millers.
ashmez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man. I just watched that movie last night. I wanted to slap that guy. Ugh.
leadabae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime anyone uses the year as an argument. Like, "It's 2015, are we really still dealing with this?" Or, "I support _ because it's the 21st century!"
Like great, thanks for reminding me what year it is. Unfortunately that isn't evidence or support for any argument. It's meaningless.
tubahero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like to have fun"
No shit, that's such a redundant phrase. We wouldn't have fun doing something we didn't like.
pacem19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cause that's a thing."
I understand that you're trying to be 'playfully ironic,' but it just sounds lazy and uninspired.
BBTiffiD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you invoke the First Amendment when the Federal Government isn't involved I assume you are an entitled piece of shit. E.g. insulting someone and then claiming they have a right to say it and you can't respond negatively. Yeah, you can say it, and I can call you on being a horrible person.
"Well, I don't like..." Context: in response to casually relating an experience or something benign. I wasn't asking for your opinion, but merely sharing as part of conversation. While that sounds dickish, when it's from a Negative Nancy who wants to be contrary and appear to have a superior opinion, in reality it broadcasts inferiority and social inteptness. I sit next to one of these at work.
jcoffey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep calm and..."
It actually has a good story and is now ruined by all the fucks who reuse it by changing one word.
No, I'm not a hater, I just disagree with you, but since labeling someone something negative is a lot easier than trying to defend your shitty point of view, just keep saying it, and it will look like you're winning to anyone who's as stupid as you.
What really sucks is the number of people will hear someone say something completely rational and justified, then hear someone else come back with , "You just a hater" and side with that person.
"Yeah! You're a hater! Stop being so negative!"
Some things deserve a negative response. Like... off the top of my head... you.
8ran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm from the struggle"
meinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Job postings that use the word ninja, e.g. "join our talented team of fun-loving marketing ninjas." Or "Do you dream of being a graphic design ninja?"
Just the most fucking annoying shit.
Squarespace I'm looking at you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(on subject the person clearly has no information or knowledge about, and is spouting bullshit): well, people just have different opinions except my misinformed and possibly bigoted one is right and yours is wrong
screams into pillow for eternity
kbugs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People that are starting a non tech business and tell everybody that they have a "StartUp". Motherfucker, you make muesli bars.
When some one says "It's in the past get over it" mother fucker you stole from me and then think its ok cuz it happens a month ago, here let me shot some of and tell the cops to get over it because its in the past.
Vgint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, not necessarily. It's a legitimate sentiment that does get used by people being douchebags, but it certainly has a place.
I had to fire a friend one time. I liked him personally, I personally gained nothing from firing him, but he made to many mistakes on the job. It was just business, pure and simple.
JohnV199 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I lost respect for a co-worker when he said, "I fucking hate cops". He's one of those morons that think they're all the same. And he was mad that he got a ticket for speeding. Fucking tool.
lalakash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
known issue
ropa66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's going to be ok." (when they can't know what's wrong or if it will/can be) Someone said this to me the day a friend died. Nope. It won't.
Also: "Something better will come along." Most often used after a loss of some kind, this one really pisses me off. No, not necessarily. Dismissing a recent loss is not comforting, but thanks for playing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase that uses mad as an adjective in place of really.
"That skirt is mad cute!"
The word has a damn meaning. Use it correctly you moron.
I've never heard that one before but I'm not sure what's so hard to comprehend? All it's saying is "it's be shitty to be you since you're so shitty at this thing we are currently doing."
I don't even feel the sentiment is ok. We're all flawed humans who get emotional and act a fool from time to time. That's no reason to expect someone you love to eat your shit. The second part is even worse IMO, some notion that you are so awesome the mere potential of you not being a total cunt is earned by eating your shit with a grin and begging for more.
Anyone who says this statement gets mind fucked with a flaming cactus.
I mean you don't have to like country. But that seems to be the stock response in generic music conversation. Seriously, you like EVERY genre but country?
ashmez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's a bit unlikely. My music taste is quite eclectic (not much of a country fan but I do like SOME of it), but I can talk about music I like and say what my favs are, rather than just generic "Oh I like everything."
jett1773 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
caysaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not to be racist or anything but....."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically whenever someone injects unnecessary small talk into a conversation. If you have nothing to say, shut up. If you do have something to say, get to the point. Or just general fluff, especially when we're already in the middle of a conversation.
"Hey, so, like, check this out..."
We've been talking for the last 10 minutes. You don't have to preface everything you say.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Romney 2012
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase that shows the person is acting like a victim. With Victim I mean, like, "Everyone hates me yadda, yadda, people just fuck with me, i'm a little puppy who can't handle shit, life does only fuck me, everything goes wrong for me bla bla bla"
jkubed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cringe." Fuck off. Any time there's a conversation posted anywhere, someone feels the need to whine about it being either fake or cringy. Especially in r/tinder. It's the stupidest shit, like the person that says "awkwaaard." after mere seconds of silence. That's how people converse, you pretentious prick.
Hinxsey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
probably no one cares.... I really hate hearing "hella" to describe something. Not sure why.
"she's hella cool".
Ugh.
bird1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Murica... First I ever heard of it a guy from Vancouver told me it's what Canadians said to make fun of citizens of the US. Now when I hear other Americans saying it, actually more like type it because I have never hear it said by people in real life (other than the nice Canadian); ugh!! Whether saying it in a proud sense or whatever- anytime I encounter it, it pisses me off. Canadians or rest of the world doesn't bother me if they say it, but people of the USA, shut the fuck up already!
biosc1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, I read about it on the Internet" (implying they are suddenly knowledgeable in a subject that people spend years learning about. Looking at you anti-vaxxers)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist, but..."
jwayne1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Youse
perogi21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So we agree to disagree"
No, I'm more interested in having a healthy debate and learning a new perspective. Aren't you?!
Binx33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say I dislike the person when they say this, but for some reason it really irks me when people say, "I could care less," when the phrase should be I couldn't care less.
I've corrected grown ass adults about the proper spelling and pronunciation too many times to count, and even after correcting, those individuals still get it wrong.
But supposably it's a very common trait to carry on such linguistic errors.
Using literally wrong. "I literally talked at hom nonstop for four days straight.
"The Republicons"
"Faux News"
"America should do everything this other country does because I'm a dipshit"
Alright, maybe that last one isn't an exact quote, but it's what I hear when someone compares this country to another one with a completely different culture and history.
If we're talking about a subjective topic, sure. Favorite colors? Absolutely you're entitled to like Red, you fucking monster.
Spearmint vs. Peppermint? Wintergreen is the obvious and right 3rd choice, but fine, you're entitled to your opinion.
But when we're talking about facts you are not entitled to your own set of those. We share the same reality, asshole. You can't justify your assertion that goes against facts and reality by hiding behind you being entitled to your 'opinion'.
If you're using it to justify something that is mathematically or scientifically inaccurate then you should replace that phrase with "Well I'm entitled to being a moron".
"Sorry, but I'm just speaking the truth" or any variation of that statement. Usually seen women by women who's job status is "chauffeur, chef, nurse, therapist, maid, single mommy of Braxton and Madison".
Frynge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
take your pick from: "Everything happens for a reason." and "God never gives you more than you can take." I'd like the reason for starving children in Africa. Oh, I'm sure they can handle starving to death, anyways, right? Ugh!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So? I did___ (and___)"
U FUKIN WOT M8? I DONT GIVE A SHIT IF YOU CAN ONE UP ME AT LEAST DO IT POLITELY
all I'm trying to do is have a conversation regarding something I did or happen to me. I don't need to hear that you did something similar along with 50+ other things making you so much better than me. A simple: "oh really? I did something similar once" and then proceed to tell me your shit, don't begin with degrading what I've done
Hey, have I told you about my (crossfit/veganisim/political bandwagon of the week) interests?
That or anything about the Dodgers. FUCK the Dodgers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me there are two. First of all, it's BY accident. Not ON accident. And secondly, it's "good FOR you." Not "good ON you." Maybe I just have issues with the word "on" but both phrases make my hair itch.
44mac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
JJWoolls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep whining and whining until I win"
birdogio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Smile!"
(Said with a little sneer.)
MENNONH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have a quick question"
Especially in my line of work, no, no it's not a quick question. It never is. Not really dislike, just know I'm going to be stuck answering that "quick question" for the next thirty minutes.
Jfflow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually use that when I expect the answer to be yes or no.
When someone says something clever and one person responds "lawl". Go fuck yourself.
volound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Late to the thread, but here's a few.
real quick (you need adverbs, not adjectives, you fucking idiot. Extra hate points if not raised in a ghetto)
skim milk (skimmed, dipshit. skim is a verb, not an adjective)
HAVE to (only capitalising the "HAVE", think about what you are doing)
It's in back (what the fuck is "back"? You mean "the back"?)
5 times smaller/10 times quieter (this just plain old makes no damn sense)
hence why (pleonasm)
reason why is because (jesus fucking pleonasm christ)
naming names (so fucking naming then? dumbass)
just because X doesn't mean Y (nobody said it did, asshole)
not too sure (how can you be "TOO" sure? This has never happened)
I guess (Guesses are useless. Get a fucking clue and try again)
If anyone uses ANY of those (there are loads more, can't be assed thinking of them all), I instantly dislike them a bit. It stacks to the point of serious resentment.
Politicians: "..BOOTS ON THE GROUND. BOOTS ON THE GROUND. BOOTS ON THE GROUND...."
Enthusiastic, zany people: "I'm trying to FLESH OUT so if we could just FLESH THIS OUT and do a bit of FLESHING OUT while I FLESH THIS OUT A BIT..."
Another one: "is this a thing?".
le epic "a thing" maymay. so silly and kawaii and goofy xD xD :)
2, actually. I had a manager that would always say "Going forward..." Drove me up the wall. And my ex wife would always positively say "Everything's grim fandango." Ugh.
"Wow, I think that's the loudest I've ever heard you talk!"
No.
This does not make me feel good.
This is exactly what you DO NOT need to say to someone that is generally quite quiet like me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
theirv15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses the phrase " excuse you" instead of "excuse me" as a courtesy when an accident clearly happened. What kind of knuckle dragging ignorant shit is that?
When stand up comedians deliver a punch line, and then while waiting for the audience respond they say, "but uhh" and then on to the next part of their routine
Antebari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair.....
bcdave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reverse racism, motherfucker it's all just racism.
When ordering food, "I'll do a", or "I'll go a" and whatever they want to order.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say "I have OCD" in response to something that would not warrent having OCD. [People pretending to have dibilitating disorders and glorifying them]
"People of color can't be racist."/"Women can't be sexist."/ETC.
When people use the word "triggered" to describe them being upset at something they disagree with in opinion exclusively.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tinder chicks who try to come off as a unique snowflake yet they are "down for adventures"
"Are you new here" Seriously? No. Just because you haven't seen me before doesn't mean anything? Are you here daily? No, right? Then shut the fuck up! And you know. What if I am? Is it that much of a fucking hassle to bear with me for less than five minutes? , were you never in this position before? Like this isn't stressful enough... Fucking dicks
When I agree with someone and they say, "Right?" or "I know, right?" Then when you get two people that do that in the same room and they agree with each other it's like, "Right?" "Right?" "Right?" - and the tone gets higher and higher until only dogs can hear it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Detox (as in a detox diet)
Cleanse (as in juice cleanses)
GMO. All the evidence proves they're fine. Fuck off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's not in my wheelhouse."
I just can't imagine there being anything likeable about a person who uses that phrase.
There's this saying "if your a shit shoveler, be the best shit shoveler you can be" I personally feel if your inspiring to be great at something you shouldn't feel content being great at something that's shitty. However money is money and everyone has a different perspective on what their ideal job is.
fiannais ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people use "penultimate" incorrectly.
It means second to last. Not better than the Ultimate.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a bank and as a server. I am often required to ask people how else I can help them and I am so tired of hearing 'well you could give me a million dollars!'
"I don't believe in government" this one really pisses me off because most often it's said by people who would be one of the first ones raped and robbed of all their shit. Anarchy my ass.
I don't. Might I get killed within the context of an anarchy? Maybe. But does it matter in the grand scheme of things? Nope. The law of nature is survival of the fittest, and that alone suffices for the millions of other species on the planet. But humans think they're a bunch of damn special snowflakes (likewise with "vegans" and their made-up "morals").
I think we might be on the same page. I believe in the right of might. Maybe I read to much Robert E. Howard growing up, but I think this outlook is a little to violent for Reddit. I still believe there has to be a framework of government, however, to make sure your commands are implemented and obeyed. This, I believe, is also a survival of the fittest type of outlook.
gs509 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who conclude with the phrase or idiom: "but, at the end of the day" then that same person proceeds to go into a second long as fuck contradictory tangent.
People who say the most arrogant and judgmental things that they retract the moment anyone calls them up on it.
"[Insert earnest, offensive, and incredibly badly thought out statement here]."
"Seriously? What the fuck?"
"Gee, don't you realize I was joking? I-I didn't really mean it!"
See, the point of a joke is that it's supposed to be funny. A joke is not an earnest statement that, upon receiving criticism, you don't have the balls to stand behind. That's just pathetic.
If you do this a lot, I can only assume that a) you're a coward who cares more about what how other people see you than actually having strong personal conviction, or b) you're a fucking imbecile who doesn't understand how humour works.
zuchit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fake enthusiasm.
I hate people who are too nice....like "oh,that's so awesome" "you're really cool" etc for silly things I do.
Basically anyone who posts anything on Facebook that isn't either funny or an interesting life update.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
any time someone says the word "scrumptious", i instantly hate them for eternity. i dont know why im so psychopathic about that word but i absolutely fucking HATE it!
If you're stating a point, grow a fucking pair and stand behind what you say, or admit you were/could possibly be wrong, don't just try to excuse your way out of it.
Duderds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're on a recorded line that may be monitored for quality assurance. How can I screw you over today?"
-Time Warner Cable
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people add "Just" to their sentences as if it somehow makes their actions permissible.
e.g. When told not to do something, or asked not to go somewhere restricted to them:
Anything where someone is trying to tell me what i should think of them. "I'm brutally honest" and "I'm an alpha fe/male" are both euphemisms for bitch
Responding to a statement with "Right on" as if it were "uh-huh."
Example: What did I do last night? I pretty much just drank in my underoos and watched Netflix..."Right on"
"I'm socially liberal and fiscally conservative"
No, you're not. If you understood either of those two phrases you would realize that they can't happily coexist.
So, I support legal same-sex marriage, legalization of all drugs, legalization of prostitution, loosening of immigration restrictions, hands-off foreign policy, significant downsizing of the military, and the downsizing/cancellation of social welfare programs. What am I?
(as in, I believe in a truly small government, that essentially has only one role, of maintaining a peaceful society)
I get what it's saying. However, I'm still voting Libertarian. I guess when it comes down to it, I fully support equality for all under the law. I realize that my ideals will leave some issues, like poverty, unfixed. I sort of just accept the fact that some people are going to get screwed, regardless of which direction fiscal policy leans, so I would just rather pick that people who contribute nothing to society get screwed, rather than those who make productive use of their lives. I do acknowledge that not everyone is in either of those positions by choice or merit, but I refuse to hold a "humans are special snowflakes" mentality. Millions of other species live by a "survival of the fittest" mentality. Why don't we? I guess in short, the article makes the assumption that people with a libertarian perspective think that their ideology will make the world a perfect place. That isn't the intent. My goal as a person with such beliefs is simply to oppose any form of totalitarianism, as in any form of government overreach into people's lives.
I guess one issue I take with that article is it seems to imply that the only reason a libertarian-leaning person would want police reform and liberal drug policy is for fiscal reasons. It isn't. Simply put, we just believe that people have the right to make their own choices in life. It's also known as "classical liberalism." In my view, a liberal is one who believes in liberty. The right to make one's own choices without a government telling you what's right or wrong. From my view, opposition to high taxes and social welfare is a part of that. I believe the right to allow one to make their own choices also includes their money.
I realize these views make me a fairly heartless person. However, emotion always results in bad policy. Hell, Hitler used "think of the children" arguments quite frequently. Policy should be made solely by logic and reason. And this is why I am socially liberal and fiscally conservative. Neither, "My religion told me to impose these beliefs on other people!" nor "We have a moral obligation to help the poor!" are based on reason. They are based in morals, and I believe in keeping morals out of government.
The idea that one has to be 100% conservative or 100% liberal is a mentality promoted by "the powers that be," the controlling interests in this country who want to keep us weak and divided. The real issues (like the NSA) are happily ignored by both the left and the right. And the Electoral College and gerrymandering meanwhile make sure everyone's vote keeps a Democrat or a Republican in power.
jjpdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I and a lot of my friends think of ourselves as socially liberal and fiscally conservative. How does it not make sense?
mm825 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Example: "I'm gonna be brutally honest with you... "
Actually what you're gonna do is pour yourself a frosty 16oz draft of shut the fuck up double IPA. Brutal honesty is self righteousness dressing itself up as a quasi public service. I've never not heard it as an excuse to deliver a sermon based of a single person's experiences, the imposition of one persons perspectives, assumptions and value judgements on someone else's. It deprives the subject of any sort of legitimacy as a person because any response they might have is counter to this "honesty", this public service. Friends aren't brutally honest with friends. Passive aggressive bullies use brutal honesty to cover their sanctimonious asses.
TL;DR- "Brutal honesty": For when you're probably wrong, when you're definitely an asshole and when you just want to take shits on the people around you.
Sure, I probably don't. But you're acting like a complete turd right now. Certainly gives some pretty strong hints about you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"problematic"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you cant remember what you were going to say, it probably wasn't important." right after i forget what i was going to say. this pisses me off so goddamn much i cant handle it.
Sapientz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thanks Obama." ...and means it.
Someone yesterday said, "I can't wait until Trump is president and fixes what's wrong with this country." That worked too.
boqz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in tech support: I just have a quick question. No you don't. You want a quick resolution but your question usually isn't quick. 9/10 will either be a jerk or fight you through every step of the process to resolve their issue wasting even more time.
xal1124 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went on a date with a guy once who said, "Oh turd," instead of "Oh shit."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know you're working hard on this, but if you just pray-"
Stop. Praying will get me nowhere. God will not come and magically finish my project or teach me how to do what I need to do. I spent countless hours learning and working hard on my own merit, developing my own skills, and putting forth ALL my time and effort to get things done. These are my achievements. You will not disregard it as some form of religious miracle. Do NOT lecture me about how I should pray to have things magically finish themselves. That won't happen and I don't want it to.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I vote Republican but I will NOT be voting for Bernie Sanders.
Literally Hitler.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone days "totes" instead of totally. Ugh.
araimuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How could you like Country music, it's just hill billy music with a stupid accent."
And I mean, they HATE Country music, like that's fine but I don't care. Every genre has a "thing" that's why it's a genre. That'd be like if I said, "How could you like rap music, they just talk really fast and slur their words, how stupid!" Fuck off.
Anyone who uses the word "sheeple".
But mostly most especially if they are an anti-vaxer trying to shame me for vaxing my kids, and use the word sheeple.
rangeo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me
Zzaproot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fancy Evangelical/Fundamentalist Christian terminology for things that don't really exist or are used to make weak arguments sound smart. For example-"Blood Atonement" "Postmodernism" "Pragmatism" "Family Values" "Legalistic" and so on.
"Do you understand what I am saying?" Typically said by someone who does not have a firm grasp of the English language and sounds super condescending. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me for some reason (works in a call center)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right?!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You may have just saved my life at one point in the future. I had forgotten what two chemicals one should never mix and I've been trying to recall them for a while.
"In today's world..."
I'm not sure what the alternative should be. These days, maybe? Completely empty, unneccessary bunch of words. Reminds me of "Merchandise Mart" in Chicago, which basically is like saying "Product store."
tdDaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In gaming if someone if getting beaten really badly (usually in the online modes) they will say/shout "I'm getting raped!" or if they are winning/beating their opponents it'll be "You got raped!" or "we raped them!".
It never sits well with me. On one hand this term is used all over the place in gaming and has a very specific meaning (getting beaten, or beating someone) but if you step outside the gaming culture bubble it very suddenly turns into a grotesque thing to say. I personally never use the word and it churns my stomach whenever I hear it, especially in such a throw away, non-caring manner.
All this Mr. Mom crying sounds like it's coming from one of those Canadian-vegan hipster femine dudes. Stop crying, be a man, and chop down some fuckin trees or something
".. go ahead and .." is a great one. It's garbage verbiage; it's decadent waste. If you're gonna say UM, say UM.
I get fired up quickly at the phrase "we can say that, but another group can't, because if they do it it's discrimination." In chastising some other group of people who were acting identically, they expose blind discrimination of the calibre they're trying to stop. A Capt Picard meme-o-graph is begging to be put into the game, coach.
But if we can claim to mean 'judge negatively' instead of 'dislike', I'd pick 'emails.' It's not a noun in the same sense that 'traffics' isn't a noun (and is a good comparison), and once it starts to stick out it's worse than 'erratas', 'irregardless' and 'literally' misused. I don't dislike these people, but I worry I don't help them as much, in the same sense as I'd help someone less if they rocked out a racist or sexist remark, compared to someone where the illusion of intelligence was still intact.
Cue the naxi[sic] namecalling, I guess, but that's the truth.
Ethnikoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who call this (#) a hashtag.
reki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called "pound freenode" instead of "hashtag freenode" for a reason.
One of my coworkers recently said, "Yeah, I think I'm going to try and date [another coworker], she seems really cool, her boyfriend even made her get a PS3!"
I responded, "You mean ex-boyfriend?" He said, "Nope"
I didn't even understand how someone could be that stupid, but I really don't like working with him now.
ptashark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone using 'in my opinion' pisses me off. You are saying something, thus it's your opinion you moron. And if someone uses 'in my humble opinion' he needs to be dropped kicked into a volcano.
I don't really need the coupon to get the deal do I??
xroarrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone uses the word "conversate" while speaking. Instant loss of respect. GOOD DAY SIR (or madame).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fuckin' a"
One time at work, I transported an extremely intoxicated woman. In addition to trying to escape and spitting on me and my partner, she said this phrase about 3-5 times a minute. Instantly makes me hate the person I hear saying this.
reki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But Office Space was such a great movie T.T
(I'm aware that's not the origin, but it's where most of my friends and I learned it)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THAT makes a lot more sense...I haven't seen that movie in so long! I need to rewatch it.
AtoZZZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm scrolling through quite a bit, and I'm pretty surprised that I haven't seen my biggest pet peeve on here. The thing "bae". I wouldn't dare even giving it the privilege of being a word. And then there are those people who say it means "before anyone else". Oh so what, when you say that "coffee is bae", you're saying that you're the first to drink coffee? And that's another thing. When people say something "is bae". THAT DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING.
My apologies. I'll stop the angry ranting here. I'm not sure how much more my keyboard can take
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anyone who tells me "I'm not x type of person". Such as "Don't worry I don't cause drama", "I'm not manipulative", "I don't cheat", etc. Yeah people who aren't like that...don't tend to feel the need to say so, it's people who've been told they are like that and know it that feel the need to say that per-emptively.
Tera_GX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which translates into vernacular as "I'm so insecure about my beliefs that I'm going to insult the pursuit of knowledge by comparing it to a pile of paper by thousands of years dead manipulative fucks, and the living manipulative fucks that use that unchangeable, unyielding record of a bunch of men who did some shit because a cloud person with a megaphone said so, to try to control people's lives in the modern world."
Oh yes, shithead, I see how hydrogen bonding is similar to 'if you masturbate you will burn forever in an eternal bonfire'
"Fuck the patriarchy" or "it's the patriarchy" because they're almost always insufferable to talk to about anything ever.
janeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"... I'm just saying."
This is the worst because it's usually preceded with something insulting like "Wow, you look like shit..." Then they act like the second part makes it all better and explains why they said it. It didn't change the fact that what you said was rude and/or inappropriate.
lirio2u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok how about when you go to excuse yourself from to use the bathroom and when you come back the douche goes " did you fall in?" I'm sorry I took my time being hygienic.
Clearly this jerk knows they are about to sound like a jerk. Prefacing said jerkiness with a warning only makes me want to commit assault that much more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a self proclaimed racist".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On FB, I don't have any friends. Everyone leaves me alone because I grew up. Says the girl and guy who breaks up with their SO every five seconds, cyber bullies former classmates, and who can't be smart enough not to smoke/drink while pregnant.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Mercury is in retrograde."
"The universe told me to..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "bae" it makes me want to bathe in their blood.
in-site ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
honestly, I'm getting pretty fucking sick of hearing the word 'triggered,' like "it was really triggering." no one I know with actual PTSD or mental disorders gets to use the word anymore because it was abused by overly-sensitive, self-righteous assholes. being offended is not the same as being triggered. just don't get offended. I guarantee you could have it a whole lot worse
Popdudx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It could also be similar to name dropping. Best way to explain would be someone talking loud enough to be overheard, understood, and overly pretentious(whether or not the conversation is "intelligent"). Their topic of conversation would have to be a stereotypical douchebag convo going into detail about who and what they fucked.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying the word "nuclear" as "Nuculer."
So many flinches.
sheably ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Banter or 'bantz' it just sickens me to my very core. Also when people say "its just how I am." to justify being rude to people. Being a dick doesn't make acting like one okay.
ebb007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a customer service setting: calling the customer "Boss"
Meet me for the first time and tell me to funk off like you were talking to a friend of yours. Me and you are not friends and quite frankly never will be. Ever.
I hate when people ask a question and thier reply when you answer back is" swag".
I'm fine with people who say it in a descriptive manner because it's no different than me calling something "brutal", or "metal" because I'm a metal head, but to use it as a response is completely incoherent, and a blatant show of incompetence.
Using the word "indeed" to agree with something. Unless you're a British aristocrat, shut the fuck up or I'll fucking rape your eye sockets with a fork and floss with the sinewy refuse of your worthless cock
"I'll pray for (him/her/you)"
Religious people say this lots of times without realizing they are part of the problem.
I saw these chain smoking ladies turn away a person asking to bum a cigarette. They both said it was their last cigarette.
As soon as the person left they talked about how shameful it was to ask for handouts and that they would pray for her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "X is so ratchet." Or "X is hella X." That shit is stupid and not proper English so cut that shit out and speak properly. Basically I hate everyone.
"It's just an idea. I am not married to it."-------no shit. Its an idea fucktard. If men cant marry men and women cant marry women, fucked if you can marry an idea!!!! What a pretentious fucking statement. Probably from a douche that would cheat on that idea with a bitch ass theory. Then claim that love be controlled. Fuckin dumbass.
inline88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so done!
MaleficZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Working in IT, it has to be when someone says "well like I said".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody who used the phrase "special little snowflake". It's just intellectually lazy cynicism. Also, ironically, it makes the user look like they think they're above anybody else. Also, it shows poor reading comprehension if you walked away from Fight Club thinking that you were supposed to agree with Tyler Durden.
Just about every use of the phrase "talking shit".
It usually involves some wannabe thug with a highschool mentality puffing up and making threats because someone else said mean things about him. Like someone else's negative opinion of him got him SO worked up that he's gotta get into a fistfight over it.
Here's an idea... try not giving a shit about the opinion of people you don't respect anyway, and don't make retarded threats online which can be used against you in court.
Most new slang. On fleek sounds fucking stupid. That being said I've been know to say something is on point, for example after eating something a friend made that was good I would say that was on point which I guess amounts to the same thing... I guess I'm irritated with slang that is devised just to circumvent existing language/slang just to make noise.
mjb212 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense but..."
Why bother saying this? So I can brace myself to hate you .3 seconds before I start hating you?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never hear people say this in real life (which I'm thankful for), but whenever a character on a show says "We're done here" I lose all respect for them. I think it started when I was watching Battlestar.
"Agree to disagree" - you're just wanting to terminate the conversation because your stupid.
"Everyone is entitled to their opinion" - sure, but that doesn't mean those opinions are factually accurate. It's the same as saying everyone is entitled to be as stupid as they want regardless of what is demonstrably true.
"Irregardless...." - fuck you, that's not a damn word.
"I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual" - to quote Daniel Tosh, I'm not honest, but you are interesting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
jander19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Conflict resolution or leadership "buzz" words I guess you could call them. Particularly: Let's have a dialogue. No, that's for a script we're going to have a fucking conversation.
"I am suspicious of people who don't like dogs and even moreso when my dog is suspicious of them" (or however it goes). The point is I am a good person who happens to not like dogs. Dogs sense my anxiety and bark at me. I cannot stand rash judgments like this one.
For me it is, when struggling with clinical depression and for some reason it will come up, "just stop being sad, stop it!"... uhm yeah let me just rewire my brain real quick... fix these synapses and shite.
"Shoot for the moon. If you miss, you'll be among the stars." No, you'll be among the lonely blackness of space. Things are not in close proximity out there.
"If you never watched/played this when you were a kid then you had no childhood."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's because you're young."
This statement is always used condescendingly. My family recently realized that my views are a bit more left than theirs. It's because I am young. I recently separated from the church. It's because I am young.
No, it's because I am growing up and becoming my own person that has different views than you. It's no coincidence that after spending 9 months away at school that I suddenly began to reevaluate my beliefs.
"Smile sweetheart", "You look better with your hair down", "What's wrong? On your period?", "Oh you're hot? It must be menopause. ", Oh your stomach hurts? Are you pregnant?" To which I reply "No, I can't have anymore children." Which is always met with "You never know. I know a woman that said that now she has (insert qty of babies)".
This is just this week. Fuck.
jewbles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a DJ." In my experience, this roughly translates to, "I will make your walls shake at 4 am, you're just going to have to deal with it because I'm an artist."
gokuudo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the Patriarchy, White Power, Rape Culture, Black Power, well the bible says, Girl Power, Mighty Morph...never mind. The last one is cool.
doj101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Serious use of the word 'cray'.
Gap1293 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist but..."
If you're going to contradict the first part of that sentence, then you are, indeed, a racist.
when someone types out "should of" instead of "should have." I'm not even typically nuts about grammar, but then one indicates to me that you don't really grasp language, only the parroting of sounds
"Your stupid." or any other use of the wrong kind of "your/you're".
There's a basic level of intelligence needed to know WTF the difference is between "Your" and "You're". Not even being a grammar nazi on this one, it's just the line in the sand that I use as a benchmark for all people.
Works really well and alerts to stupidity faster than a pre-cog in Minority Report.
mayttr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My horoscope said...."
Sidney77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Beast mode"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is". I only hear exceptionally dumb people say this phrase.
People who think "versus" is a verb and then conjugate it and use it in place of "to play".
"Who's playing?" "Giants are versing Colts."
"I really want to verse him, I could beat him easy."
It always seems to be 14yo boys who do this, so maybe they just don't know any better, but fucking hell it shits me so much. I immediately judge you as being an illiterate idiot.
anyram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not going to gonna lie" coupled with some statement.
"The food was delicious, not gonna lie"
"Not gonna lie, she wasn't that hot" etc...
Eurgh
Cslamsat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Every man for themselves."
Golmore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely any use of the word "addicting".
I gagged typing it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"apologist", "boot-licker", both frequently used by the irrational police-hating crowd. Go to any /r/news thread about cops and you'll see them whipped out immediately any time anyone points out anything in the cops' favor.
biggs87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is making its rounds in corporate Canada:
"How are you today"
"Living the dream"
Go fuck yourself if you say this. Also if you hate your job then quit. I hear it 3x a day. FML
"Another day in paradise!" My parents started saying this a lot a few years ago and I couldn't tell if they were doing it sarcastically because their marriage was failing or seriously as a way of trying to be upbeat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For all intensive purposes" = "For all intents and purposes"
"What had happened was..." Aside from wanting to punch you in the face, this phrase (after working in a call center) I have come to associate with very poorly constructed lies.
"If that's what god wants" "I leave it up to god now."
"If god will allow it." "God works in mysterious ways."
Anything of that sort... I know too many people who leave things "up to god." I'm sorry, but if you want things to happen, you need to make them happen, not stand by and let "god" AKA 'Fate' decide.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll understand when you're older."
NO. No. no.
lildil37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jet fuel doesn't melt steel.
lol1243 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Omg I'm such a nerd! "
First off, you're dumb as shit and I'm surprised you have a high school diploma. Secondly, I think you mean geek and just because you saw Ironman doesn't mean shit. Also liking super handsome dudes in glasses doesn't mean you like nerdy guys. GTFO
"Can you do me a favour?" - Why do you expect me to ever answer yes to this without knowing the details. And the fact almost everyone naturally assumes that this sentences should guarantee them a Yes no matter what. Because you asked some what politely and then get all offended if I say no? Somehow that makes me rude...
I had a girl (and I say girl even though she was older than me) tell me once very proudly that she didn't work. I had just gotten off a twelve hour shift she was at my house she lit a cigarette inside and kept her shoes on and when she asked me what I did she told me I should go change out of my scrubs that I smelled. All this was rude as hell but I let it slide for the sake of civility until she she said I don't work when asked how she supported her six children by five different men she told me she got welfare and section eight, food stamps, and wic she went on to tell me how several different churches donated food and clothing and money to her. She got free daycare vouchers and free before/after school. Her mother had her children the majority of the time. I don't work.....that's what does it for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'd like Dilaudid and a turkey sandwich, please."
TomTao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a standard size window/door.
No, it's more than likely not. I do this for a living day in and day out. Don't get mad at me when I tell you that doors come in multiple "standard" sizes and that windows can vary in size from 18" to 54" in both width and height by 1/4 of an inch.
It's beer. If it was good enough for Ben Franklin, it's good enough for you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but.."
and (in response to being told something they're doing saying is morally wrong) "Don't blame me, I was raised this way."
kabookye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything from jersey shore
liono69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but ____________" As a progressive white guy living in Illinois it still astounds me how often I hear this from even close friends or relatives behind closed doors.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something something gong show. Like fuck off you're an adult in a executive position for a leading national insurer. Expand your damn vocabulary
for me it's 'if they wouldn't of pissed me off' like a 'i wouldnt of said/did that if you hadnt of made me so angry' sort of thing, when people blame their emotions on others and even much worse their actions. it's really creepy to me
Not only is this fallacious, factually inaccurate, and misrepresents what a scientific theory is, but it also fails to provide any support for the person's aforementioned theory if you are aware of any of the above listed grievances.
If one was to create a sort-of heirarchy of scientific concepts, theories are actually higher than laws, having been thoroughly observed, documented, and proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. Meanwhile, in common dialect, "theory" is used interchangeably with "speculation."
"Time to watch my show"
Or just the use of 'my' when it doesn't apply. Stop pretending like it's so important. It's not.
hozay09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry, its policy" -blind rage
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that, I'm not getting fired for your arse.
If you ask me why I can't let you walk around the store with a couple of mobile phones that were just locked in a glass case a moment ago and I say "Sorry, it's policy, can't let you do that." you're just going to have to deal with it.
uhLOL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when you say your "wheelhouse," you do mean your car, correct?
epzik8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Most [x]-est", which is improper grammar and redundant (like "most strongest", "most coolest", etc.) It seems to be mostly a teenage girl thing.
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slang. It's like if I said fair dinkum. It just approximates to something else. Shit ton would be the equivalent of saying "a lot" but with more impact.
I instantly tune out anything a person has to say after that.
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not exactly untrue. For example, "There are two types of people in this world, the type with money, and the type without.".
There's a pretty solid line between those two things.
"... to be honest with you...". So what have you been doing up till NOW??
spyker54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I believe that evolution is a lie and climate change is a conspiracy because [insert celebrity name/clickbait article here] said so, and they would never lie! They know everything!"
Anything containing the following words/phrases: "On accident" / "apposed" (instead of supposed) / "I'mma" / "Like" (as in, "I was, like, totally drunk").
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as someone starts defining themselves as something I want to gouge my eyes out. "I'm a feminist," "I'm a vegan," "I'm a conservative," whatever. I strongly dislike people that define themselves by these contrived movements that are mostly full of shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Nuff said.
Zei33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my knee jerk reaction is to think "I dont like you"
r7RSeven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not saving any money for my kids. It's my money and I want to spend it myself."
I wouldn't mind this statement usually, but the person who said it infuriated me for being entitled. It was a 60ish year old woman who probably was born and raised in the U.S.
The reason why it was so infuriating is because her parents probably lived through the great depression, and as most know, those who lived through that tried to provide as much as they could for their kids. Now someone whose parent lived through the great depression and doesn't personally want to provide for their own kids makes me seem them as someone who got the world handed to them and are being selfish not sharing it with their kids.
Stressog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down.
macrob25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a film student and the first day my professor said "And those new Dark Knight movies, which are just awful..." I don't know what he said after that. I blacked out from rage.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So, why aren't you going to school?"
Said to me after they learn i live at home and don't have a job. Well, first of all, I made a decent amount of savings off of my last job, so i'm taking a vacation because fuck it why not, and second of all, I have a learning program from home, because 2 hours of commute a day should be avoided when possible. Third, Fuck you i do what i want.
DazyLave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when people say "I only want 'natural' or 'chemical free' products. I work in a cosmetic store and I hear it at least once a day.
Know what else is natural? Arsenic. Lead. Mercury.
Also, do you know what happens to cosmetics without a preservative? They rot and sometimes even mold.
My girlfriend had a housemate who would do shit without asking, or use your stuff or get you to do shit, then say "oh I hope you don't mind, but..." and do it in this guilt-making way.
Note: It didn't help that he ran a fox rescue and they stank up the entire house.... with his 3 cats, and their fleas hopping all over the house. Let's say my girlfriend left the house after about 3 weeks.
"Go do something productive/go outside" when I was a kid. I played video games a lot sure but I actually enjoyed it. Wtf was I going to do when I was outside? Stare at a tree or kick a rock? I knew like one other kid across the street from me.
Something along the lines of, "Yeah, but scientists can't know everything."
No shit. No one can know everything, but maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there who knows more than you, especially about chemistry, or meteorology, or anything involving years of study and research. It's not magic, you're just a dumbass.
Or alternatively, somebody who uses "gross" to mean "something i arbitrarily don't like for any number of reasons right now".
PopeBud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a customer service management level person: "I pay your paycheck!". The fuck you do. Just because you pay your bills, or don't, doesn't entitle you to something special.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love listening to insert_pundit_here . They really tell it like it is."
I always makes me distrust the person or group that was mentioned, because people only say that about people who are pushing an agenda that they agree with.
arcxjo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Social justice."
Justice is blind. Once you start socializing, she's anything but.
Anytime someone seriously fucking whines about "ableism" in an outright idiotic context.
A good example being the whole "Oh my bleeding fuck, therapists without mental disorders are so ableist" or the types who shit the bed in abject horror over the atrocity of the word "stupid".
Anything that starts with "false" or "incorrect". And throw an "ignorant" in there while explaining to me several things that anybody with a pulse knows as if I hadn't already considered them. Then break your wrist patting your own back for winning when I don't respond because I've realized the conversation is one sided and ultimately pointless.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say things like "you dont no what ive been thru" as an excuse for the inexcusable actions they do.
Another is when trashy people publicly say " 'so and so' was runnin their mouth". I really dislike the term "running their mouth". It's vague and it sounds trashy.
"I'm just a simple down to earth gal, I hate drama lol"
(on dating site profiles)
Or anything that instantly contradicts the previous statement. "I'm shallow but I'm deep" "simple but mysterious" or whatever. Instant cognitive dissonance.
Also - the first time I met a coworker and he was in the middle of telling the group how the holocaust was a myth at his new hire lunch. So there's that.
ReconV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dated a girl once who used to always say the words, "Oh Shiz!!". Every time she was scared or something excited happened it'd be," Oh Shiz!!". I guess it was something she started because of Snoop's "Foshizzle" (I enjoy this) but it got to the point where I had to speak up about it. I just wanted her to at least finish the rest and add the "Nit" or "Izzle". Her bestfriend got so pissed that I had said anything that she invited a third wheel on our double date so my gf at the time could date them instead. She was beautiful, an easy 10/10, and I gave it all up because of a word she kept using at the same time she dragged me to Tyler Perry movie (DOAMBW) when it all happened.
"When you lose don't lose the lesson"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've said it before, and it will never change, "Do what now?" It's only made worse when pronounced more as a single word than as a phrase. "Doowatnau?" My rage is provoked when this garbage is uttered, particularly when I didn't ask you to DO anything. I ONLY asked for your name.
If someone is talking to me about something or asking me something and in the middle of my reply they interupt me saying (i.e.): "anyway, blah blah..."
Yeahn this is pretty upsetting and rude.
Edit: "they" not "the"
eli_mao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Camelbus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All these dank filled up votes count me in
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He's not even hot." I knew this girl who thought the only redeeming quality about a guy was his attractiveness. She chose who her doctor was simply because he was hot, not because of his education and skills as a physician.
So frustratingly overused by every pump up event and speech. I liked this once, but now I'm just sick of it and it makes me feel that the person is lazy and jingoistic in their positive feelings.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bullish arrogance drawn from one's socially protected status.
This can be drawn from something one would consider
more of a minority status like race, sexuality or something
like being a house wife where calling them out on their bullshit
could potentially be more trouble than it's worth for you
or anyone who might actually want to back you up, or it can
be drawn from the perceived superiority due to being rich,
college educated, religious (moral high ground or because
they belong to a group that's number dominate a particular
region) etc.
In many cases it's apparent that you're going to hate them pretty quickly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL look at how small it is.
MistaTom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
This is just.... fuck... it makes no sense... at the end of the day what? At the end of the day what you're saying will be right? Why isn't it right now? Why does everything hang on what happens at the end of the day.
And what about tomorrow? Do we start this shit all over again?
What about yesterday? Is everything from there now wrong because it's end of the day is not our end of the day? What the hell is so special about our end of the day? Why is ours right and everyone else's wrong?
And why is it at the end anyway? Why isn't it at the beginning? Why not at lunch? What about afternoon tea?
Why the fuck is our very existence determined by what happens at the end of this fucking day?
When anybody says this above. Retarded is a word, it has different meanings and each one can be said in different contexts. It usually has nothing to with or even relates in any way to insulting people. Also, a person who has a developmental disability is developmentally retarded, saying they are retarded is not an insult, calling them a retard is.
DJRC_Too ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Vintage Orton"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Catcher in the Rye is a great book
hiways ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
blurghh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry I'm not politically correct but..." Followed by asinine and usually hateful comment. You're right you're not being politically correct, you're being an asshole
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Significant other", just say fucking girlfirend, boyfriend, husband or wife.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When asked what the time is, "Time for you to get a watch"
I work in I.T & Change management. Customers/Project sponsors using 'We are where we are' to explain away this month's shit storm, because they wouldn't listen to basic common sense, makes me want to literally murder them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who starts a sentence with, "All I know is..." Please don't complete that sentence, because if it is unclear to me, you have already told me that you know nothing else, so you probably could not elaborate.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word Shizzle aggravates me.
ghostb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am going to go HAM"
Teocyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL that no matter what I say, someone is gonna dislike me. Cool.
ghostb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm nerdy." Go fuck yourself.
Lurlex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the middle of an argument:
"Well, he/she has the RIGHT to their opinion!!!!"
Mother-fuggin' DUH. That's a red herring thing to say, and it means nothing. Nobody's arguing about their RIGHT to think what they think. What's the point of even going there?
Having the 'right' to your opinion is not the same thing as having some kind of invulnerability against criticism towards that opinion. The moment you open your mouth and say what you think, you're inviting me to do the same. Period.
I used to work with a guy, late 30's, who would insert internet memes into casual conversation, like his favorite "Dat ____ Tho". This was amplified by his being a contact juggler who would use a Fushigi or pop and lock the entire time he was speaking to you and not otherwise occupied. I wanted to set his goatee on fire.
"I'm not a math person" like fucking hell your not! It's one and fucking one and fucking one which is a total of 4 not fucking hard.
Alternatively, "that looks too heavy" it's a goddam 50 lb desk and there are 4 of us. SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP AND GET THOSE SWEETCHEAKS HAULING IKEA MADE LUMBER!
wschus63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to sound a little wacky and I will admit it is based on limited personal experience. But when I hear someone describe another person as "good peoples" it gives me the chills. I base this opinion solely on a few people I know who I consider to be assholes using this phrase to describe other people I also view as assholes. It seems to be code for "this person shares the same narrow views I do that I judge their character on, while I completely disregard some major personality flaws they possess".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm doing good"
OR
"It worked out good"
No you're doing well godamnit.
And nothing can work out good, only well. Hearing people use good improperly is like scratching nails on a chalkboard to me. I'm in GA so I hear this quite a bit
Nobody deserves to be a victim. There is no "worse victim." In looking at you, media outlets.
MDT1221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm an entrepreneur."
Northus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SJW phrases. Also, I dislike "hear me out" for some reason, it diminishes the chances that I will, and people who feel a need to crawl in the dirt for asking a question ("forgive my ignorance/stupidity" etc). Just ask the goddamn question.
exk33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work somewhere where there are a lot of children. Children 2 and under get in for free, so I have parents coming up to me saying "oh he's only 67 months." Someone already mentioned the whole month thing but I can't stand when people do this.
"I've been doing that my whole life!" ... [for any activity that this person has obviously never done in their life yet claim to all the time. Of which they are the highest expert in].
If I mention I went tomato picking there is always one person that is "Oh, I have been tomato picking my whole life!". Fuck you guy and your imaginary tomatoes.
"What do you know? You have white privelage!" From the sixteen year old student wearing AE clothing and carrying around a D&B purse.
Meanwhile I'm wearing the same jeans I bought four years ago for a shitty job I hated so that I could put myself through expensive as hell college to pursue a degree that will give me life of constant homework. I'm so privileged to get fucked by my job, the government, and everyone else because I'm a hard working middle class American with morals and a desire to not accept help.
Devaluing a nation of 300 million, responsible for an astounding percentage of humanities scientific, medical, technological, and industrial achievements because a small portion of us revel in stupidity (just like in every country).
"I'm not a racist, but..." because you know that whatever comes out of their mouth next is going to be the very definition of racism. It's not even that you're a racist, you do whatever makes you happy, but now you're also a fucking liar.
wiegie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, we don't own a TV." - said in holier than thou voice
or from lady I met at my mother's house "Don't give him that Spiderman balloon, Jesus is the only super hero he needs to know about."
miszivy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When any snobby mother starts talking about natural childbirth. "I had my baby via 100% natural, non medicated childbirth."
Most women would bring this up as if this in some way makes them superior to other women who chose to be medicated (hello, that shit fucking HURTS!), or those that couldn't have the option for a natural childbirth due to some abnormality, like myself. FUCK these women, they are all assholes with egos way too big to even see outside of their stupid little organic, au naturale worlds.
smoooo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:32:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is especially obnoxious cause all birth is natural! Unless you were hatched or something.
Itsweird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cess pool", "disgusting", and "slap in the face" when people talk about things they don't particularly care for or minor inconveniences that are totally harmless. As you can imagine, Reddit drives me crazy.
Bennyr4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate people that reply with only 'Lol'"
And said person only reply's with "lol" themselves...
SommSage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must be black and get hurt when they say that?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:43:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great submission also :). But seriously, it's more about how ridiculous I find the idea of having race as a criteria for love.
mjoallie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well...is it any different than someone not liking to date a blonde? Or someone that's fat or thin?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:41 on August 19, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, do you think there's a single characteristic (beyond superficial stereotypes) in all blondes or fat/skinny people that would make them unattractive? I don't.
goodtago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest with you... I mean, wtf, do you need to say that for you to be honest with me? When you don't say it are you lying your ass off? Do you have such low credibility that you need to preface your comments by proclaiming your own veracity? I'll be the judge of whether you're being honest, and you do your thing, honest or not. And if "not," then just stay the fu#k away from me. Got it?
Mine is '... makes you ...'. I hate you instantly now! People have free will, and a person CHOOSES whether to hate. (I don't really hate you. I just wanted my comment to create a circular reference.)
I am going to warm up a bagel and have sex with it. Ah, butters in the fridge.
Atlas, no one gets the reference but reddit well and family guy fans. DAMN
l0lloo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One piece sucks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm on tumblr a lot"
LOJO121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "In no way, shape or form."
smoooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I immediately lose respect for anyone who uses the word epic
I live in Northern California, so when I hear people say "Helllaaaaaaa", I slowly start to back away. Had a guy ask me one time "well, if not hella, what should I say then??"
"that doesn't make any sense!" yes, yes it does. everything makes sense. what you mean to say is that it does not make sense to you, which is a far cry from something not making sense in general. people like to automatically assume that something is implausible or impossible just because they're not intelligent enough to understand it. my father does this all the time and it's annoying as all hell.
Anyone trying to guilt me into or of anything. Especially those who go about it by showing me gruesome shit and telling me im a bad person for not staring at it or donating to their cause. Also any video with "arms of the angels" as background music.
I have taken to yelling "FUCK YOUR PLIGHT" as i change the channel.
it sucks that a FB mssg is the top response - I'm old school - I can't imagine actually judging someone on FB, can't say if I'll like or dislike someone until I meet them in person.
BTW - I hate when people say - "I'm old school."
Slurgly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"welp"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just the word hella. Or if they only post abouy religion on facebook.
daak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Please advise."
Usually the person writing this just hasn't taken the time to figure out what they actually want to ask, and it takes a number of follow-ups to figure that out.
I'm a bit late to the party but,
"Like, literally..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying more complicated words in place of simple words, like "comical" instead of "funny." No one thinks you're smarter.
Also, people who say "and I's" instead of "and my." As in, "That's Brian and I's car" instead of "That's Brian's and my car." "I's" is not a motherfucking word.
AbiNormL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yo, Ma!"
jimchm15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This isn't my first rodeo"
Okay hotshot. I immediately wish for that person to trip and fall.
Rosetown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably very late to the game but this one always kills me.
Older person ordering drinks with a younger person and the waiter asks for the younger persons ID.
Older person asks "How come you didn't ask for my ID - Teheheheheh"
icemixxy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know there were dinosaurs and I accept the theory of evolution and stuff, but I can't believe we are descendents of apes. We must have been created."
I work as a bank teller and if you don't have your atm card I need to verify you. A lot of people ask why and get upset. I'm sorry let me give your money to some random strange!
mjselvig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
af
cma14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything to do with the president and gas prices. Positive or negative.
Typically, that's the beginning of some political diatribe that I want no part of because a sentence like that indicates that the speaker has no idea what the fuck they're talking about, and it's only going to get worse from there.
mm825 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:09 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 23:55:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All lives matter!"
"Facts/statistics aren't racist"
Any usage of the word SJW
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:05:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please explain how facts and statistics in and of themselves are racist. If anything I'd argue that they're the key to understanding social and economic issues plaguing society, solving those problems, and tracking our progress towards solving them. I get being able to interpret or present them in a racist way, but that's not what you said you dislike.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find the best way to fix a problem is to ignore that there is one so we can actually address it, is what that kind of mindset says to me. I think people look at a stat like minorities committing more crime and think it's tantamount to saying they're bad. We need to look at these numbers and ascertain what are the contributing factors.
Aaera ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:58:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you trying to say that you think only the lives of one race matter, or matter more?
Or that facts ARE racist?
SJWs call themselves SJWs, do you hate your own kind? Nothing wrong with speaking the truth or titling something as they truly are.
minuq ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:16:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was a nice explanation a few days/weeks ago why #allLivesMatter is a bad response to #BlackLivesMatter. I'm on mobile so i can't link, but the tl;dr was an implied "too". Go find and read it, even though the general SJW rethoric is mostly bullshit, this one's legit
The [insert preferred "holy" book here] says that [indisputable fact about nature upon which technology I'm currently using is based] is a lie.
That's because your religion is a myth, dumbass.
Notice here how religious bigots respond with fedora, edgy, neckbeard, basement-dweller, other similar nonsense or just silent, hate-filled downvotes rather than try to defend their (stupid) ideas below:
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Video games are a waste of time"
No more than sports are, hypocrite.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any statement that suggests that I and everybody around them subscribes to religion.
If we're having a nice hearty conversation, don't you fucking dare explain something away using god. I'll be obligated to tell you that that simply can't be the case because there is no god. Then you'll shit yourself because oh my god how can somebody not believe in his glory?! Because religion is for asshats, that's how.
con77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blacklivesmatter. Theyre just childish hypocrites. A black guy is 100x more likely to be killed by another black guy than by a cop.
Vanish_7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's usually, "I don't even OWN a television." Which nowadays is like saying, "I don't even READ books." These snobs think watching Breaking Bad is equal to watching Celebrity Game Night. Fuck these people.
"Literally" followed by something not meant to be taken literally.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I literally shat my pants from crying so hard because of laughing at this comment.
axearm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"The average person..." when used in a context that excludes the speaker. So, "the average person thinks X" or, "the average person doesn't know Y".
Guess what, YOU are an average person. We all are when lumped together. You are about average for looks, intelligence, kindness, rudeness, skill at driving, etc. If you generalize about average people (of which you are one) you should include yourself.
"You never know!"
Oh yeah? Sometimes I do know.
"There is an exception to every rule"
Yeah, like the rule that there is an exception to every rule?
I'm coming to the conclusion I dislike people for saying things.
Thanks I was definitely expecting a hateful reply.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:18:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure you will get some or many downvotes because being politically correct is more important to people nowadays than being actually correct and backing it up with stats/facts.
"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best"
Generally this is said by someone who is fucking crazy and refuses to acknowledge that maybe they're the problem. I avoid these kinds of people at all costs. The victim mentality is just something I'm not willing to put up with.
doinstuf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Lawd take the wheel" "I'm just gonna put it in God's hands" or "god has a plan for me"
Ya god does have a plan for you, it involves creating a species than letting it grow and develop on its own, he isn't going to pay your utility bill you dumb broad.
When someone on facebook lists their education as "The School of Hard Knocks". Give me a fucking break. You're basically trying to excuse your failure based on you having a hard life, as if no one else has had a hard life.
Selitae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We're pregnant"
No, you are pregnant, your husband is not. If you want to make him feel included, what's wrong with "we're expecting" or something similar?
ITT: The weekly 16-year-old's who still assimilate with people they don't like.
seasond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*associate with
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"I don't smoke weed."
So... What do you do while you're hanging out? Do you just sit there?"
Edit:I wasn't really clear about what I meant
Qawded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
Sorry but if you have to reassure us that you're not racist, you probably are. Same rule applies for most things, eg. I'm not homophobic, but...
A beautiful example that I've heard too many times:
"Don't get me wrong, I'm not homophobic but it just grosses me out when I see two boys/girls kiss. Like be gay I don't care, but you don't have to put it in my face like that."
The "I'll pray for you" crowd are some of the most insincere people I've ever encountered. People who settle down and pray for a bunch of people feel like they've done their good deeds for the day so they can be selfish, petty, useless jerks after that.
TheDodd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!"
Or literally just the use of "SHEEPLE" in any way. I immediately write you off.
ENrgStar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a Christian" always said after or while doing something racist, homophobic or down right wrong.
"Sure I burned down that black gay couples house but I'm a Christian" haha instantly walk away just walk away haha
has1321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1) The use of "Jew" as a verb. We need not talk anymore.
2) "I'm the type of person who..." Just say what it it you do, think, say, or believe. Assuming membership to an imagined group does not grant you carte blanche to act inappropriately or the defense that anyone who would call you on your shit is profiling or discriminating against your supposed ilk.
"I'm not racist/sexist/homophobic/any other oppressive or hateful type of person, but" You can be sure the next thing they say is indeed incredibly racist/sexist/homophobic/any other type of oppression or hate
AreThree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Jesus loves you." or "I will pray for you."
The first makes my skin crawl because you are speaking for someone else who allegedly has supernatural powers and is your personal religious icon.
The second just makes me mad because it is a condescending remark hiding a judgment (like a brick wrapped in a fleece blanket). If I didn't ask you to pray for me, don't. It seems analogous to telling a vegetarian that "I'll sacrifice a goat for you." If you are just wishing me well, then just say that plainly without bringing your religion to it.
The third one, "The Lord told me to _____", really makes me wonder about the sanity of the speaker. If you're hearing voices, I'm not the one you should be talking to, but rather a mental health professional. Same goes if you're seeing visions or holding conversations with flaming shrubberies. Go ahead and give yourself some credit for being the one who changed paths rather than chalking it up to a deity.
The Indians migrated here across the land bridge from Asia. It's just a question of when your people emigrated here.
The language of the United States is English. If you want to live here you should learn the language rather than demand that people accommodate you.
My parents are immigrants. They learned English. If I were to move to, say France then I would take it as a given that I would need to learn French as they speak French there.
This is the USA, we speak English here. Expect to learn it if you wish to move here. This should be common sense.
I don't disagree that if you are living in a country then you should try to learn the language, and not expect others to accommodate your native tongue. This is obvious. I know many immigrants and H1Bs who have varying grasps of English. The fact of the matter is that it is a difficult language to learn and what they need is a bit of compassion and understanding while they work on improving themselves. What they don't need is some jackass redneck making asinine comments about their language barrier as if their current poor grasp of the English language is some sort of choice they have made in order to both make their own daily lives quite difficult while at the same time pissing off others.
It is a rude, hostile, and stupid thing to say and when I hear someone say it or (more often) see it on a bumper sticker, I immediately dislike the person.
or any of the hundreds of other imbecile buzzwords in that family.
motherfuckers this fucking sensitive have no evolutionary business existing in the real world. it's a wonder that a mild breeze doesn't just wipe them all from the face of the earth and spare us from their shrill, imbecile, irrational, hypocritical ravings.
Uh... very strange that you'd have some kind of problem with that statement. It describes the sentiment of a LOT of people; it more or less falls in-line with what's considered a libertarian.
I don't feel that its libertarian at all. Imo, it's a chicken-shit way to describe yourself in the most conformist way possible. It tells me absolutely nothing about someone.
hmm, ok. If you can make some kind of intelligent reasoning why that statement is cause to instantly dislike someone, or why it isn't a good description of a libertarian, other than to call it "chicken-shit", I'd be curious to hear it.
Being socially liberal would mean supporting universal health care, education, poverty reduction, etc. Fiscally conservative means you don't want to spend the money on those services. I understand their is a balance, and that they are not mutually exclusive, but that's not what most people mean with the statement. The usually mean letting the gays marry and balancing the budget.
WK373 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:06:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So because I believe in Gay marriage, but not bankrupting the country im a conformist? I think you are talking out of your ass.
generand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not rude. I'm brutally honest.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bernie for president
mrnagrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alternately "feel the bern". Is it a presidential campaign or an std?
Really anything about being offended. Get over it, some people have different views than you. Some are horrible, some are wrong, some are just weird. But really, grow some thicker skin and move on. Live your life instead of getting mad about some shit some guy said. Who cares what they said? Quit making their words so important and monumental.
I just can't imagine my grandfather getting his undies in a twist cause somebody said something he didn't like or that made him uncomfortable. He had better shit to do like run a business, provide for his family, and generally be a badass motherfucker.
Arlavin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say that mental illness is all in a persons head and that they are actually fine and to just get over it.
When people get mildly frustrated with something and say, "Ughh, I'm gonna kill myself!"
I lost my father to suicide at the age of seven, and due to that I have PTSD. My stomach just drops and I feel sick every time I hear it.
Manacock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I thank God for..."
FUCK YOU.
YOU worked hard. YOU practiced hard. YOU accomplished. Nobody floated down from the clouds and zapped you with a magic wand.
FUCK YOU.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist/homophobic but ..." I'm sorry, that is not going to excuse what kind of fucked up backward thing you are about to say. God it frustrates me!
People who claim that doing illegal things is okay because they're common. Like underage drinking. I don't care if you do it, I did it. But don't you dare go around acting like you didnt just break the law.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck do you want to know? What's it to you anyway? Do you even fucking care? If I'm unwell, can you fucking do anything about it? No you can't.
You haven't been to medical college for six years, you're not a fucking doctor, so quit asking me how I am?
People that say they "beat" cancer. You didn't "beat" cancer. You were lucky enough to not succumb to cancer. There's people that do the exact same treatment (if not more) than these "survivors" that die daily. It's just good/bad luck. That's all it comes down to.
We aren't all assholes, honestly. We just hate tourists.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:35 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am speaking from the perspective of someone living abroad, and who travels a LOT. Most of these New Yorkers are tourists or expats. I get their name first, then that line second... It has really begun to dig into my soul... But I love most of you guys!
No. I don't care, and I don't want you practicing your angry political, social, or religious rabble on me.
darkbob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lack of manors. Especially important when they think either :
1. The person they're dealing with is unimportant (e.g. service staff)
2. They think no-one is watching.
Always seems to be used as a cop out in the conversation. Sure, it is what it is currently. However, what it is doesn't have to remain the same so stop using that phrase like it is the final word.
Cioger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Edit: Keep the downvotes coming!"
Piss off buddy. It's like you're proud of being an asshole.
rennaps4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hands up, don't shoot"
"No Justice, no peace"
"Black Lives Matter"
Basically when you've turned your backs on the police who are trying to better society and are making a Martyr out of some stupid thug who stole cigars and roughed up the elderly store owner, then I dislike you immensely.
Everyone, every person, every group like to get the persecution complex. They have the biggest cross to bear, they are the most hated, blah blah blah.
Get over it, grow the fuck up and realize the world doesn't owe you shit.
That movement isn't about anyone owning anyone else (well maybe the looters have that mentality). That movement is about police brutality. If you think all cops are out to help you, I wish I lived in your reality. There are a lot of great wonderful cops who truly stand up for what's right, but the are also a lot of corrupt cops. Police brutality, and not just against minorities either, has gotten out of hand in the U.S.
[deleted] ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 14:48:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I believe in god."
604kevin ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:14:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a very narrow minded stance
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:45:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you don't like anyone who is religious?
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 15:46:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:54:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, some of them are quite nice
Aaera ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And all of them are quite foolish or ignorant.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:44:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So are people that generalize everyone in a certin group of people.
Aaera ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:39:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a generalization as you'd think it as.
If somebody is religious, or presenting themselves as religious, they are either in it for profit and know better than to fall for it, or they are uneducated/unintelligent; in other words, simple words: dumb.
To willingly believe in the irrational and incorrect is simply dumb.
Aaera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, but it's almost amusing that you're attempting to evade reality by trying to label it as cringe to protect yourself. Try actually opposing it if you think it's not true.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:01:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly it seems as if you didn't get my point. I'm not trying to debate the fact that those people are foolish and/or ignorant. I'm pointing out your flaw that you are an intolerant, arrogant and judgmental person.
Aaera ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:16:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Intolerant of stupidity, I certainly am, though not arrogant or unjustly judgmental; simply reasonable and honest. I don't mask the truth to avoid offending people with it. If the truth offends people, that's something they need to fix.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:11:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you need to get your head out of your ass and take a second look your views on people.
By the way I'm not religious and I still think you sound like a self centered ass. Open your mind a little and see people for who they are not what you think they should be like. Though I can tell you'll refuse to due to your beliefs. Just like those people you talk about won't change their strong beliefs even in the face of overwhelming evidence. People like you call some religious people extremists for their beliefs but I think if you take a look at your feelings on this you'll notice your not far removed from that sort of idealism. By that idealism I mean thinking like "if you don't believe in what I do then your wrong. No matter what evidence you have on the contrary."
Aaera ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:26:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No metaphorical heads in any metaphorical asses on my end.
Cold hard truth is often perceived as pomposity, conceitedness, or arrogance, but that's just not correct. Easier for people to pull a good old-fashioned ad hominem out of their pockets than face the subject itself.
As for beliefs, I carry none myself. I have hypotheses where confirmation is lacking, and my conclusions purely follow logic/reason/rationality. No opinions of beliefs. If a statement/hypothesis of mine is shown to be incorrect, I repeal and correct it, but this is very rare.
Nothing that I say has any source in emotion either, just to clarify.
As you have not attempted to actually refute what I have said, I expect you will not be trying to after this reply, so this will be fruitless. I don't mind replying though.
Religious people are uneducated, unintelligent, and often have low mental capacities. Their belief is very wrong, self-contraditory, absurd, and thoroughly disproven in many different ways. When I learn that a person is religious, I acknowledge their intellectual status correctly. I do not make a mockery of them to their face, as there is no reason to. I only acknowledge what is.
a_fridge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't either, but I wanna make sure they know I'm on to them. If they push their beliefs on me I push mine on them and it just becomes a cluster fuck of ridiculous made up ideologies.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
supah_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:06:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when someone drops the n-word and/or the c-word like it's so normal. seriously - go away. i already know you don't respect women or people who aren't like you. i can't pre judge totally. i leave a door open for the sake of politeness and being understanding - but it's likely - we probably aren't going to get along.
"Anywho" In conversation...I went down to the store...anywho, whats been happening with you? that word screams hillbilly to me and every time I hear it I just stop listening.
Callyopi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I frequently say anywhoozzle when I get off topic and am trying to get back on point. I don't know when I started doing it, but now I can't stop. It's figuratively killing me.
"Why don't they just..." anything that comes after is usually just an example of a lack of understanding, empathy and/or comprehension by the speaker. Instant dislike.
I was just saying this to some of my friends, but if you post on instagram/facebook/write in a fucking photo album "Good times, with great people!" you are an unoriginal sack of shit
AOEUD ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:21:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Whilst". Fuck the British.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:23:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So didn't i." It just plain pisses me off. Everyone in my high school used to say it and it would annoy me to no end. I'm no English major and it may make complete grammatical sense somehow (I really don't think it does though) but in my mind it just sounds so stupid.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:24:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know my name but you definitely don't know my story....
So cringey ughhh
I hate this when people refer to gay/lesbian couples by saying "partner". It's fine if you actually call any couple that, but many people insist that they say "partner" for any couple, but they only do it for same-sex couples.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:31:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'racist', 'privelege', 'intersectionality', 'queering', 'othering', 'cisgender', 'structural' (excepting its true usage in engineering and architecture), 'white' used as a slur, 'micro-aggression'
Leftists and I are simply better off going our separate ways, to be honest.
I worked with a guy that greeted me with "Yo yo yo b boi what's fo' real mothafucka" on his first day at work. He was a skinny white dude. Instantly hated him.
My best friend just started dating this guy named Alex. The first day I met him, he seemed pretty cool until he said "woah, that almost hit me in the dome". He's a douche. Nobody cool refers to their head as their "dome".
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:14:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone who has just turned 30 reflects back on the days they were 20 like it wasn't just last week. The same can apply to someone who just turned 20 and reflecting on their teens.
I don't care if somebody doesn't like The Beatles, but people who feel the need to declare their hatred of them (or, really, most things in pop culture) are usually assholes.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:15:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can you not?"
Well, yeah of course I COULD, but since your question was redundant I'm gonna keep doing what I was doing.
"Will you not?"
Sure, sorry about that.
sre01 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:19:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People over 25 who try to stay hip by using modern slang. Fuck you Doris, you're 45.
yoguy2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:21:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone uses 'lol' constantly when messaging I will instantly assume they couldn't possibly be older than 13 and I phase out instantly. If someone uses the word 'rekt', I will find you, and I will hurt you.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:52:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
addysol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:56:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sheeple"
Unfriended so many people from high school because they relentlessly share "GMO's are evil" articles
_Foraii_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:58:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Huehuehue"
Dreadsin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:02:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm an infj"
I didn't know anything about this personality system before, but I have learned two things: Infjs are the only ones who seem to always have to state their type without anyone asking, and Infjs are usually intensely dislikable people.
Sorry Infjs
"My wife won't let me..."
I was talking to a friend about maybe trying to get in to PC gaming instead of using a console, games are cheaper, mods, etc. He says he can't because his wife doesn't enjoy PC games... so he can't. He had to buy another ps4, just so his wife (who stays at home, doesn't work) can play ps4 with him. I'm sitting there thinking "is this guy for real"? You can't play a computer game because your wife doesn't like them......? Are you married... or are you living with your mother? How sad.
With her personality, I highly doubt she would have many takers. I've never cared for her... But I have another friend who is exactly the same. I couldn't get him to even come watch Ant-Man in Imax with me, with me even offering to pay for his ticket! I miss the military. That's the best friends I've ever had.
probably, he seemed very concerned if there were gonna be people there... people at an Imax movie on a weekend day..... I'm 33, and this guy I've known since I was 5, I grew up across the street from him. I think in the 10 years he's been married, I've gone to lunch with him, when I drive to him, nothing else, and he's never even seen one of my apartments I've lived in. Anyways, sleep!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:12:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
soorr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:20:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
When someone starts their speech off with "False." "Question." Or even sometimes, "Funny story." I can already tell you're snobby and they think their time + the little effort it would take to form a few extra words is more important than everyone else. It just sounds disrespectful to me. Maybe I'm strange.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:24:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who refer to pregnancy as "preggers". I hope you miscarry.
That's when you proceed to snack em, and when they ask why you say "everything happens for a reason"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:27:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The Beatles weren't that good."
ssp5097 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:29:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drives me insane when someone says that's gay or that's retarded. So offensive to so many people.
thomt94 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:29:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a vegetarian, perhaps the most annoying one is "humans are meant to eat meat" or something similar. Maybe we are, maybe we aren't, but either way I don't give a shit. I can't understand how some people can justify trying to prove me wrong about my own moral standpoint that affects nobody else....
... "Have you never tasted...?"
NO, I HAVEN'T. GET DIRECTLY TAE FUCK
When someone says something vaguely funny or interesting and someone says, "OMG I AM DYING!" Also when people say, "Shut up and take my money!" The whole point of that Futurama thing is that he is an idiot and a sheep. And it also bugs me because most of the things people say this about, are for sale somewhere, so no YOU shut the fuck up and go and buy it from their website.
It's surprising how many teenagers (and maybe adults, that's not my area of expertise) still refer to something that they find stupid or useless by saying "that's gay" it's disgusting and I instantly lose respect for that person.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:32:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Every time the U.S. Mint changes the way the currency looks, for months I loathe listening to mouth breathers quip over and over:
"It looks like Monopoly money to me!!!"
They always state it real fucking loud and proud, like they're the first person to ever say it. I hate everyone who says it. Of course I have to mask my rising anger fake a laugh because I'm in the midst of taking their money in a sale or making a loan with exorbitant interest so I have to go along with making them feel good about taking their money.
I think this hatred is also intensified because I have to be reminded of the existence of the Monopoly game, the most overrated, shitty board game in the world.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:54:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says any of the flowing, YOLO, OMG, WTF, TGIF, G2G, BRB, or any other acronym when it is socially acceptable to say the actual phrase. BSTL is ok though.
megso16 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:55:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I haaaaaate drama." Shut up.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:57:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm socially liberal, but I'm fiscally conservative." No motherfucker, you're not. Learn about economics and social policy before making yourself sound like an idiot.
Okay, so I believe in low taxes, but also in legal same-sex marriage and drugs. I also think the military is a colossal waste of money (as part of the "I don't like taxes") thing. What does that make me?
I'm sorry I don't fit into your false Democrat/Republican dichotomy.
"Well, if the invisible hand of the market dictates that..."
I'm sorry, when did economics turn into religion? Capitalism isn't dictated by a natural force like gravity, it's all chock full of manipulations and forced hierarchies and crap.
Go on a date with someone or just meet them and the first thing they say is "DTF" .. It really turns me off .. Idk super annoying and makes me dislike the person a lot=.=
ray_pape ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:14:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love my haters"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:17:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"if I can play devil's advocate..." Do NOT. SHUT UP. don't start an argument for the sake of arguing. And in my experience the people who say this make the lamest, ill-informed arguments.
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you are the problem. Having a devil's advocate in a group is important because it forces people to critically think on a topic.
There's a reason governments have two sides, it's so they can argue in case the original proposition is flawed in some way. This way we can eliminate mistakes and come a little closer to perfection. This can be applied in pretty much any context where somebody decides to be the devil's advocate.
If you can't handle a view that isn't the same as your own, the problem might not be the other person.
Novogrod ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:22:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is". That is the dumb or cowardly person's way of referencing something without attaching an identifiable causality for an event because they are either uncertain or ambivalent as to what actually caused it.
"You're 35 and still living in your parent's basement.", "It is what it is, man".
" I don't care if it offends you " or anything along those lines. At best you're a faux-edgy try hard, at worst you're an inconsiderate piece of shit who should have never left the house. Learn how to behave in public and the absolute basics of socializing or stay the fuck home, and off the internet for that matter.
hsfrey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:22:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't tolerate the give and take of a free society, YOU're the one who needs to saty home!
Being told that you need to shut the fuck up when you say something incredibly inappropriate or inconsiderate isn't literally like 1984, I don't understand why people like you seem to think that it is. Learn how to be an actual human being instead of falling on back on the "BUT ITS MUH FREEDOM OF SPEECH TO BE A COCK, YOU'RE LITERALLY HITLER" nonsense or you're going to have an absolutely miserable time in your non internet hugbox life unless you surround yourself with equally socially crippled people.
jrm65 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:25:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
NO SHIT IT IS WHAT IT IS, WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE? People say this as if its some wise saying but its just repeating whats been stated.
Another one is "That's just your opinion" after being in an argument. AGAIN WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE? YOU SOUND SO STUPID BY SAYING THESE THINGS. Ends Rant
Karensky ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:26:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I am no racist, but...'
No, you are and I want to punch you now.
mr_chip ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:28:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who complains about SJWs, like they're a real thing.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:08:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I get a [insert product]?
No, you can't โ someone else will get it for you.
ak4733 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:19:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Military here, and I hear this ridiculousness constantly: *side of the house, as in "on the training side of the house", *piece, as in "we need you to take care of the training piece", *dual-hatted, as in "I do evaluations and training, I'm a dual-hatted douchebag like that", *offline, this typically happens during a briefing when someone is asked a question they can't answer: "good question, sergeant, we'll talk about that offline", so many more.....
Edit: Hear, not here (I dun been did had a cuppla dranks)
Any motivational quote, and anything to do with certain foods being bad for you
Just started a new job and my coworker is "that" guy. He will reel off ten motivational quotes in a row and god help you if he catches you drinking a coke because he'll be off on a spiel about his dream to e an entrepreneur and start a health food business and then he tries to sell you nutribullet. He's also "that guy" who wears a tie everyday when the dress code is smart casual. And takes notes, constantly. Ugh.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:05:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ich bin ja kein Nazi, aber..." ("I'm no nazi, but...")
Yes, you fucking are! Whatever follows the "but" is utter bullshit. Always! Immediate disqualification.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:49:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is indeed. And it's totally stupid bullshit because in 99,9% it's followed by something only a lame-o neo-nazi would come up with. Have experienced it just recently. Some acquaintance got her car broken in and caught the fucker in act, a few days ago. He ran away but she managed to recognize him as a foreigner. As we were talking about the break-in she once said like "I'm no Nazi but those fucking refugees come here to live like a bee in clover. And then they break into our cars and steal our stuff!" as if every refugee decided to give up on their luxurious lives in their peaceful homes and leave a better part of their families and friends just to come to us and steal our stuff... It's so fucking retarded... I was so startled that I just didn't know what to reply...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:18 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now you're just being hweird.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:30:22 on October 2, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anyone who mocks triggers, eg: "oh, did i TRIGGER you??? i'm so #TRIGGERED." no, dude. psychological triggers are serious issues. if you mock them i immediately assume you're an arsehole.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, pure and utter bullshit, all lives matter, you are not special because of your skin color, either way. you choose to endanger the life of a police officer - you chose for your life NOT to matter right then and there, the officer is simply doing you a professional courtesy by taking you out.
No, its not that, I honestly have nothing against them. They can do whatever they please. But if they were exposed to my group of friends, or my family...they would end up dead or severally beaten. So its best for them to stay the hell away from me.
Ohhhhh. Then dude why did you make it sound as if you hated them. I mean...you said liberal peasants so obviously someone would think you're homophobic from that phrase. but I see now that you're just keeping them away for their sake.
Because its reddit, you're one of the few people that will read this and understand it. To most people here, I am simply dismissed as bible waving anti-homosexual southerner from the united states or some other backwards part of the world.
Whereas, I'm an atheist, have nothing against them, and am from Canada.
Why the fuck would you describe a party where you and your stupid ass friends got drunk as a 'shit show'...were you literally smearing your feces on the walls and making a display of it? If so...fuck off...if not...shut the fuck up, and fuck off.
Anyone who fucking tells me to go make them a sandwich.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There ya go"
Its basically just a rubber-stamp phrase that means they werent listening to you or are just too dumb to analyse what you said and formulate an actual response.
Twirrim ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All lives matter". Yes, you stupid idiot, no one is claiming otherwise. If you don't have the wit to realise just how wrong you are, STFU.
But....people are claiming? Saying "#blacklivesmatter" only promotes the importance of black people's lives.
ksettle ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I prayed for XYZ," implying that you only get things if you pray. I don't know if its more grating that they don't recognize their own privilege or the implication that believing in the tooth fairy means more than someone else's hard work and sweat.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No they obviously do not. Whites are experiencing great injustice every day. It is difficult to whites to find employment, let alone advance to higher paying positions. And even when they do get work, statistical evidence shows that whites make less than black people! A disproportionate amount of white people are pulled over every day, just because of their skin color. And a white is more likely to be sentenced to jail time than a black person! This is the reason the white population far outweighs blacks in the criminal justice system. There are even groups of people that go around, in cloaks covering their face, that vehemently hate whites, and historically have been responsible for violent acts against them. And they are allowed to publicly demonstrate to this day.
Obviously none of the above is true, and it is blacks that are affected in such ways. Whites have always had the advantage, and there has never been a question that "white lives matter". Only when blacks starting voicing the rhetoric, to bring attention to the fact that their race is written off and unjustly treated, did whites start spewing their own version, like a whiny child that doesn't get first place.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:10:21 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't do the pledge." "Or I don't stand up for the flag."
I know you may be religious, you may be anti-American, or you may just be lazy. But it's something as Americans we do to just say, "Thank you." We live in a great country and we can live here because of the people who fought for our country. That flag represents them. And when these people died or the flag, the one that you aren't standing up for, they are dying so you have the right to not stand up for it. Isn't that strange?
So why don't you just stand up and respect the people who fall for you. It takes ten seconds, and it's not inconvenience for you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is something I agree with. "Under God" immediately causes tension with basically everyone reciting it. It wasn't like that when they first wrote the pledge. And Truman made the mistake adding it. IIRC
Anyone who doesn't like another race is a racist. Doesn't matter if you are white, black, red, yellow or green. If you dislike people based on their race, you are a racist. Period.
Racism is a system of oppression. What you're referring to is racial prejudice, which is attributed by systematic racism. But not what i'm referring to.
In that case, come to Detroit and see the Black racism in practice. The city is 95% black, they control the power structure, and whites trying to move up are oppressed. Or Zimbabwe. The Blacks in power took over the land of the white plantation owners.
Anyone can be a racist.
i suggest you to look up the history of both detroit and zimbabwe. the majority of the white population in detroit left following the race riots of 1967. while the black people are the majority population and council member wise, detroit is still a part of the the united states, where whiteness is prevalent in economic, social and political structures. the british tried to colonialize zimbabwe and failed. why is a negative reaction to white people by zimbabwe surprising then?
And I disagree with your definition. Prejudice mean you prejudge someone before meeting them based on their race, religion, ethnic background, ted. If a person says something like "I hate white people", or "I hate black people" they are a racist. Every race has some racist people, which is really a shame. We are only on this earth a short time and there is no reason to hate anyone.
saying "i hate white people" has no effect on them in a major economic or political way, because the system has been built by white people to cater white people. i am not promoting hate in anyway but the colourblindness ideology is not the way to go. you must recognize someone for their identity, which includes the struggles they endure as a member of a certain race.
When a whit person says "I hate blacks" they are racist. When a black person says "I hate whites" they are racist. When a Chinese person says "I hate Japanese" they are racist. When a Muslim says "I hate Jews" they are racist.
if you hear "politically correct / pc police / etc." or "SJW" run the other way. people that are intellectually bankrupt cowards that want to have zero accountability for their actions / words / ideas. they are the definition of cowards without honor. the same types that tried to make Obama's "community organizer" position equitable to fascism and other scary things that scare people with very little cognitive capacity that operate on not just low information but wrong information.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:37:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
kon22 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:11:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is gonna sound stupid, but I really dislike when people start talking about how much they hate something.
"Hating on stuff is bad, but IF we all think this is stupid, we can do it! Yay!"
And no, I'm not gonna hate anyone who does that and never talk to them again. But, jeez, is just silly and they'd definitely lose some points in my book.
Zen_Buu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:19:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
parqueke ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:09:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do cross fit
Olia18 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:08:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who complain. Period. This is a fucking social media. Ask for advices or whatever you want but stop puting your life all over the placeeeee geez !!!!!
Saved comment
bevardimus ยท 5009 points ยท Posted at 18:57:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[on Facebook] I'm going to see who my friends REALLY are! Let's see who responds!
aggron306 ยท 857 points ยท Posted at 00:25:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow you were busy when I posted that it must mean you hate me!
[deleted] ยท 418 points ยท Posted at 02:07:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ArchangelWarrior ยท 195 points ยท Posted at 02:35:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it wasn't worthy
Stingray88 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:05:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
REAL friends go to my page and read all my posts!
Macfrogg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:26:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NoTrueScotsman
slightly_buzzed ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:45:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You check your newsfeed? i just click reddit.com/r/all, same effect.
koviko ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:45:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or it did, but I just rolled my eyes at it and kept scrolling.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:59:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, I'm really too freaking embarrassed to be associated with someone who still sets Facebook statuses like this or quite frankly at all.
Theawesomeninja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:33:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Facebook did the right thing in that scenario
Visser946 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:13:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even if it showed up I still won't do anything about it.
blasterhimen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or frankly, I couldn't care less about your dumbass post.
javitogomezzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or I couldn't give a fuck
lord-steezus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do now!
katherinesilens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reply: NOW I DO!! :D
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YEP! Fuck you, Fuck you and your fucking stupid plant meme thing!
ImagineA2 ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 02:00:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The best ones are the ones that get maybe 3 replies and they end up deleting it 3 hours later
jackdarton ยท 221 points ยท Posted at 22:07:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sending a FACEBOOK HUG to all of my friends and family. Those who pay attention and care about me will repost this. 99% of people won't do it, but I know that 1% will.
reDolphinate ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:04:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
has 99 friends
Thom-Bjork ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 02:07:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But a bitch ain't one.
Skylord_ah ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:17:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shes all 99 of them
I need a machine gun
jackdarton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually have 98 friends on Facebook. Unfortunately, there are a few cases of a bitch being one.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:36:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Post one thing you remember about us in the past"
I can hardly remember what I had for dinner last week. And we both know you are not more important than my dinner.
Spoogly ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:17:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god you better hope I don't remember anything embarrassing, or every one of your friends is going to hear about it. I'm just waiting for my one friend to do this, at which point, I will post about his drunken attempts to set up a sleeping bag before I turned in for the night, so that he could just crawl into it later and didn't have to disturb me.
WhatIsThisAnarchy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:23:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TELL ME MORE
Spoogly ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:30:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At one point, he was just laying on the ground laughing at his sleeping bag and trying (and failing) to stand back up. The best part is I have photo evidence. I am a cruel person to my friends. So far, he's managed to survive almost 5 years without me having to do it, but now he has a girlfriend who is the type of person who might just make him post something like that, and oh I am just so excited.
Macfrogg ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:27:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
unless you are my dinner.
:-)
[deleted] ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 02:06:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ThatGuyGetsIt ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:25:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If only there was a way to unfriend them yourself...
dalovindj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhh. First you gotta push the button and then the other thing and one thing after another next thing you know it's time for your show and who can be bothered?
Azrael11 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:46:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do people care about culling their friend list? If you don't feel like talking to that person, don't talk to them. Facebook is great in that you have communication ability with almost any acquaintance instantaneously anywhere in the world (assuming anywhere has WiFi)
pinkfloydwarshall ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:49:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It lets you see more content from people you care about and less from the people who annoy you. Sure, you can hide annoying people from your news feed, but those are probably people you don't want to talk to anyway. Cutting people can also make you feel powerful if you need an ego boost. I agree that it's completely lame to make a status about it, though.
VAPossum ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 01:32:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't respond to those, because if our friendship is so fragile it'll be shattered by me not responding to a meme (that I may not even see) then we're probably both better off not being FB friends.
blasterhimen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
who doesn't want fuck buddy friends?
zealer ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:37:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Respond with "I'm taking blow jobs. I'm going to see who my friends REALLY are! Let's see who gives me one!"
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:59:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is a plague. This drives me nuts. Unfortunately, I have more and more family members making posts regarding things that used to be those shitty chain emails. -post if you love Jesus -leave a comment if you are my friend -post one word that describes me -pray for the repeal of obamacare, repost if you agree -I'm going to unfriendly you if you don't _______ -repost if Jesus is welcome at your house -real friends will post, like if you agree -send this to 10 ppl to be super blessed
And all the other guilt-trippy and racist bullshit that is on Facebook.
Macfrogg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:29:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's actually gone down significantly in my email though. Maybe that's an acceptable trade-off...?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:59:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It really has. Still getting a lot from Nigerian princes and credit card companies though haha. Which does seem less annoying.
Macfrogg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:38:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are there any c4nadian ph4rmacies trying so sell you v1agra or otherwise offering to lengthen your pen1s?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How did you know?!? Did you get the same great offer? All I had to do was give them my credit card and social security number, so easy!
spaceflora ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep scrolling if you love Satan!
erispie ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:49:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly, this was around before facebook. People would do friends list culling on livejournal in this passive aggressive fashion.
ApollosDeath ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:45:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
delete
toro44 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:18:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[In Comments] Stop fishing for attention whore!
bevardimus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always just imagine the most whiny, needy, voice whenever somebody posts this crap
anu26 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:46:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just delete those people straight up.
jimanri ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:54:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nobody replies
Rixxer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically, I like this phrase, because it makes it super easy to stop being friends with them!
ListenToThatSound ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:55:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Can we exploit this WWII veteran for likes and shares? Can he get 100,000 likes? Come on, someone has to guilt trip your grandma!
Bamword15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I unfriended my mother because of that shit.
bevardimus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha ha!
yumyumytaco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:14:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And yet they still keep me on their friends list when I don't respond. Friendsies for life!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:35:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Respond "Fuck you, I wish you were stillborn" and create a paradox.
Vicboy129 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it works!
CatDaddio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
unfriends their account Well, you can't say it didn't work as advertised.
flyersfan78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen this post many times. Often from the same few people. One guy even actually did delete me, then friend request me the next week.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My god, I want to stab those guys in the eye with a fork!
murphyslaw28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about any post that has the phrase "I know mist of you won't re-post this, but..." I automatically don't re-post it, even if I agree with whatever it is.
shit_brik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am such a foodie!
temalyen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will not respond to those on principle. Just no.
TheElderCouncil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is where you really wish there was a dislike button.
ImAWizardYo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Share this stupid picture a with a cliche quote or something really horrible happens to you.
nimbusfool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just trying to see who my real friends are #fakeymcfakefake
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually never seen this, I must keep good company
Armsofdanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad once made a post on fb asking his friends to call him the next day to prove their friendship to him
micmea1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Glad I've never seen this
sisepuede4477 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omg I hate that one. I don't respond to them, and nothing bad happens.
SassyWhaleWatching ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you trying to get me to hate you?
kookmagoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
kill me now
Mike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alright everyone, I'm in the process of removing everyone in not "real" friends with. If we haven't talked in the past few months post here why you think I should keep you on here otherwise you're getting deleted!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Once I posted "Unfriend me to get a free iPad!"
Banthrau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like for...
Share for...
Ignore for Satan
blasterhimen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a "friend" delete me because I never talked to her. Funny, I don't remember you talking to me either... It basically felt like she expected me to entertain her. Good riddance.
jaxxon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unfriend
TheGlenrothes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never replied to these and as far as I can tell no one has unfriended me.
MarkSampson10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People say that? Normally I block someone before it gets to that point.
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Posting in this thread to find out what response you get."
GIRL_PM_ME_UR_BOOTY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Chris. Every time.
makattak88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[Removes friend]
Pozla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What? These are mainly just 13 year old kids that post that stuff right? Please don't tell me there are adults posting that shit too...
bevardimus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A few women in my life, yes. Never seen a man post this.
Roelof1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can only be a real friend if you upvote this comment!
DreamsInHD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
omfg i fucking hate those
RDCAIA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never respond to posts like that, so I can see who my friends really are.
ienne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good god, this is so sad.
MlCKJAGGER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's be honest. Does anyone really have friends that do this anymore? That aren't in high school?
bevardimus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, women in their late twenties or early thirties, and sometimes my mom!
ForkUK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, this.
Imadoctah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DELETE FRIEND
Duderds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only respond to the Facebook friends I randomly accepted from highschool and actually feel bad for, since my response might just save a life.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:13:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
unfriend
Riggybee ยท 1081 points ยท Posted at 19:17:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm an asshole/bitch, and I'm proud of it".
[deleted] ยท 480 points ยท Posted at 06:52:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best."
Oh fuck off you
mifbifgiggle ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 11:00:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If u cant handle me at my spookiest, u dont deserve me at my dootiest
thank
TeamJim ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:48:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
doot doot
NEWVACHE ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:13:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
calcium and good bones for everyone
ZeusAllMighty11 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:35:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thank mr skeltal
Riggybee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like we should be friends, that made my day haha
TheBananaPuncher ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:35:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The original meaning of that quote was basically: if you wont care for me when I'm ill then you don't deserve me when I'm at my best. But people like to take somewhat smart sounding quotes and bastardize them to their own agendas, sometimes even butchering the thing by removing key context parts to fit their own world view.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:45:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah precisely. It's an excuse to act like an asshole just because once in a while they act like a decent human
UsuallyInappropriate ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:03:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
diddliest | doodliest
Riggybee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:19:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me it's : if you can't handle me at my worst, good because neither can I, I'm going back to bed.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:19:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my wurst, you don't deserve me at my brats
Lord_Skellig ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:43:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only place I've ever heard this is through the endless complaints about it on reddit.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 11:26:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was more common a few years ago on Facebook, and women have been using it as an excuse for bad behavior for decades. It's attributed to Marilyn Monroe because apparently dying young makes you right about everything.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it just means you didnt live long enough to be proven wrong
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:45:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't see this shared on facebook a lot? Lucky you
Lord_Skellig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, never. Are you still in school though? It sounds like the kind of thing I'd imagine teenagers sharing. I found that by and large my Facebook feed became more mature after I went to uni.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow I'm already past uni and I still see it now and again
me_brewsta ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:46:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah Marilyn Monroe. The unofficial mascot of ugly/fat bitches with terrible attitudes everywhere.
Such a shame too, she's probably spinning in her grave.
JEWCEY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, i say fuck both a yous.
unobserved ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:22 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saw a comedian with a good line regarding this the other day.
Any time you see a woman being a total bitch you can just respond with "Sorry, I just realized that I don't deserve you at your best".
misterdix ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:40:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, girls have been co-opting that phrase for years now. I look at comments like that as clear indicators of a lack of imagination and therefore a lack of worth.
rockidol ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:56:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively any variation of "bitch is just a term people use to describe a strong independent woman who don't take no crap"
What that tells me is that
A. You get called a bitch a lot and
B. You won't consider the idea that you get called a bitch because you're a bad person
Riggybee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! Like, I'm called a bitch sometimes. It happens. I'm not always 10000% pleasant. But am I going to excuse it by saying shit like "I'm just strong!!"?? Hell no dude, sometimes I'm a cold hearted bitch and I'm sick of putting up with stuff. Am I proud of it? God no, I always feel awful afterwards, but there's only so much I can take, you know?
Sorry, I rambled.
rockidol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know what you mean, no one's perfect or nice all the time. And sometimes the person calling you a bitch is just wrong, but 9 times out of 10 they're not calling you a bitch because they're intimidated by how strong you are or whatever.
Riggybee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha exactly. Although, sometimes being called a bitch is completely unwarranted. Regardless, it's not something someone should take pride in
TheSpiralArchitect ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:13:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you are Denis Leary.
alicization ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:50:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I have a dorm mate who's like this, and he acts like he's better than everyone else.
SapperSkunk992 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:41:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am SUCH a bad driver! Teehee.. Like, it's not even funny."
As she's texting and recording snapchat stories while driving through Indianapolis.
Riggybee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, I live in Fort Wayne and refuse to drive in Indianapolis because fuck those drivers.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:25:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm
an asshole/bitch, and I'm proud of it".Replace with:
That's really what it is.
cntthinkofasn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:40:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"k"
Riggybee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HhhhhrrrGGGGGGG DO NOT K ME
smile-with-me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who says that. He's not an asshole. He's afraid of conflict in general...
Riggybee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I say it ironically, because I'm really not an asshole/bitch 100% of the time. I think I'm pretty... Nice? Sincere? Oblivious? Most of the time, I hate conflict.
xTRYPTAMINEx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say it more of a matter of factly type of way, it just is, rather than being proud of it
Riggybee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is saying it's who you are. Like, when I start dating someone I say stuff like "hey if I'm being unnecessarily bitchy, please tell me because I can't always tell". I know that I am sometimes, but I am never proud of it.
xTRYPTAMINEx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aye. Was sleeping with a woman for a while who laughed and was extremely proud when saying she was a huge bitch. It actually disgusted me and I no longer talk to her. I'm only an asshole accidentally, and when absolutely necessary. Doesn't jive with me to be proud of it
Riggybee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I don't understand why anyone would be proud? It's like being proud to be homophobic or racist. We get it, you don't have friends, you don't need to be fucking terrible to innocent people, especially people like cashiers or waiters UGHH
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Riggybee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
like, there's this magical thing called tact. you don't always have to be blunt and rude to be honest.
COMPLIMENT-4-U ยท 291 points ยท Posted at 19:30:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So when are you getting a girlfriend?"
Oh I was planning on heading down to the girlfriend store after next payday
TeamJim ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 13:08:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, get a girlfriend? Just get a girlfriend? Why don't I strap on my girlfriend helmet and squeeze down into a girlfriend cannon and fire off into girlfriend land, where girlfriend grow on little girlfriendees?!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:49:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say that to my mother every time she asks when I'm going to find a 'nice man'. Arrrgh
JEWCEY ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:45:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
one girlfriend for sex, please.
COMPLIMENT-4-U ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:48:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can i have da pussi plz
JEWCEY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:04 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i have a dog.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:27:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking fuck fuckity fuck!!! Would people quit asking me this!!!! I have a family reunion Labor Day weekend (from Friday afternoon all the way to Monday morning) and I can already hear all my old aunts asking me this. Then my grandmother will say "he'll get a girlfriend when he gets good and ready" in that grandmotherly tone of voice.
COMPLIMENT-4-U ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:30:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Luckily I got my mom to stop asking me because I told her straight up how much it hurts.
I wish people could understand that it's not just annoying to be reminded, it hurts really fucking bad as well. :(
butterscotch_yo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:10:34 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
remember, being young and single leaves you in a better place than being a young divorced single parent.
repeat this to your family every time they ask about a significant other. bonus points if they're divorced single parents themselves.
fatuzii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:11 on August 25, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get a girlfriend? Why not pop down to fucking Build-A-Bitch real quick
scotttheduck ยท 4586 points ยท Posted at 21:32:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who on Facebook puts their education as "University of life" or "The School of Hard Knocks".
Erg. Those people.
[deleted] ยท 3853 points ยท Posted at 01:20:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Job: CEO of stay at home mommy!!!
[deleted] ยท 1710 points ยท Posted at 03:11:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God, I hate seeing that. That and, "I have the hardest job of all! I'm a mom!"
NPR had a cool "respond with your experience" poll over the holidays a couple years ago. They asked people if they were going to work over the holidays, and if so, what did the people do for a living. There were thousands of responses, and they were all really interesting. Doctors, nurses, surgeons and EMTs. Police and firefighters and other first responders. Soldiers, some of whom were deployed and others who weren't. Restaurant and hotel workers, airline pilots and flight attendants, because a lot of people travel over the holidays. Members of the clergy and crisis counselors, because a lot of people are in crisis over the holidays. Nursing home attendants, morticians and hazmat cleaners, because a lot of people die over the holidays, especially if they're elderly. Tech support, snowplow drivers, retail workers, emergency vets, taxi and bus drivers, just on and on and on--it gave a fantastic sense of how vast our economy is, each part we play in it, and how much we depend on each other without really even realizing it.
And of course, among the fucking pediatric cardiologists and the people who answer the suicide hotline and so forth, of course there were a few women in there who just had to say, "I have the hardest job of all. I'm a mom!"
No. No you do not.
cyncantspell ยท 284 points ยท Posted at 04:15:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's so condescending. Your job is harder than being a brain surgeon? Or a translator? Or an oil barge worker? Please shut up.
hyperformer ยท 135 points ยท Posted at 04:38:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother works a full time job as a teacher and is also still a mom. Go do something useful like volunteer if money isn't a problem and you don't need to work.
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 09:16:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like, I dont give a shit wether you decide to work or not, but for the love of god dont act like you're having it rough being a stay at home mom, my mom always talks about how busy she is with her part time job and yet she finds time to take 3 hour naps daily and never be home when I get home because shes always visiting people.... pisses me off
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:03:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Daily three hour naps? She is living the dream.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:10:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I KNOW RIGH WHY IS SHE COMPLAINING?!
not_AtWorkRightNow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:17:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because she has the hardest job there is... Have you not been paying attention?
jamesthunder88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you repeat a lie enough eventually you will believe it.
ThegreatPee ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:13:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds exactly like my wife, only she doesn't even have a part time job and the house constantly looks like shit.
I think I just realized something...
Br0metheus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when modern technology has made being a housewife ludicrously easy compared to even just 100 years ago. It actually used to entail a lot of effort, what with making meals from scratch, doing laundry by hand, etc. Now, it's all machines and products and playing with the baby all day.
might_be_myself ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 06:30:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bang on. How can it be the hardest job of all if the bulk of the population is capable of doing it alongside another full time job.
Beingabummer ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 06:52:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They usually imply that maybe those other parents don't quite love their kids as much as them.
My parents both worked fulltime as teachers their whole lives btw.
thedistrbdone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:53:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents have also been full time teachers for about 25 years now, and they always made sure they had time for us. We always went on camping trips, went to the fair, and got to do tons of cool stuff, all thanks to the fact that they worked their asses off for me and my sister. And even now they still find time to visit me at college, despite it being ~2 hours away. And my best friend's mom was a stay at home mom, and he had a miserable childhood, because she didn't do shit. And to end my mini rant (sorry, didn't mean to) moms aren't the only fucking parents out there, dad's work hard to raise kids to, so saying "being a mom is the hardest" is also fucked up in respect to all the dads that work their asses off for their kids.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:06:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But did they love you as much as my mom? /s
ZephyruSOfficial ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:30:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because they didn't love you /s
MarginallyUseful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:54 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Both my parents worked full time too, but they also didn't love me, so this hypothetical mother is not wrong in at least one situation.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:53:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they think being a mom is harder than every other job, then they raised some shit kids.
roastedpot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:05:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it seems to me that unless your child has a mental disorder (no.. i'm not talking about your adhd kid) the less difficult your job is, the better parent you have been because your kid isn't an asshole. the parents of assholes seem like they would need to work more because their kids are assholes.
coldgator ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:04:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish this could be on a billboard. Even though I hate billboards.
assholesallthewaydow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But they're a mother so they would know all about brain surgery, translating, and oil barge working.
never-grow-up ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 03:24:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We all know that it's the retail workers that have the hardest job off all around Christmas time.
[deleted] ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 03:59:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I've worked retail over Christmas (technically, I still do, but now I'm corporate), and I'd bet a week's worth of pay at my old cashier wages that the folks who clean up dead bodies have it way, way harder than even my worst Black Friday behind a register. And shit, now all the stores have their Black Friday routine down to a science. (Except Walmart, which apparently still enjoys trampling and riots.)
(Edit: typo)
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 04:58:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 05:00:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a member of the living who may one day require the services of your profession (hopefully not anytime soon), I salute you. I'd still rather cashier on Black Friday though.
SunshineCat ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:37:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you explain the multi-story homes thing? Is it just that you have to bring the remains down an extra floor? Do you have to actually carry dead bodies around yourself when it's on another floor, or do you use a gurney?
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:46:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
_My_Angry_Account_ ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:22:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could only imagine the look on your face when you realize the corpse is too big to fit through the front door or any windows. Let alone needing a crane to move.
At that point do you pull out the hacksaw or tear down the wall? What if the deceased was renting and the property owner said not to damage their property to remove the corpse?
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:26:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
roguemerc96 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:38:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For the jaws of life?
FAGET_WITH_A_TUBA ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:56:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not OP, but I can answer this. No, they're not shouldering grandma down the stairs.
mred870 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:21:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How would a guy get a job in that field?
not_AtWorkRightNow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And as tough as that is, there are people who work on deepwater drilling rigs in the Arctic Ocean. That's always seemed pretty tough to me.
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 04:15:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am probably in the minority, but black friday was better than any day with no customers and my boss would just make up busy work for me to do as the clock slowed to practically a halt.
belethors_sister ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:45:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. I hated that busy work shit. "Oh you folded everything already? Well fold it again." uuuugghhh
wrincewind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my first boss wasn't like that. we had a daily, weekly, and monthly checklist. they were all long as hell, and sometimes tedious, but we never had to repeat anything. sometimes they'd even break out stuff that only needs to be done once every few years [i remember the time we sanded down and re-painted all the machines, that was fun], but still. on really quiet days, sometimes, we could just kick our feet up and relax until the next customer came in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh? What's that and why is there trampling and rioting?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:57:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most retailers have learned over the years to have a well-defined line, to hand out some kind of flyer or ticket for the number of doorbusters they have in stock, to keep said doorbusters under lock and key and to only hand them out to ticket-holders, and otherwise establish some rigorous crowd control. This keeps lines moving quickly, keeps customers from getting too crabby and lets everyone know what to expect.
Then there's Wal-mart, which still does the old-fashioned "let enormous unruly crowd gather outside, then raise the gate and watch all hell break loose" method. At least one unfortunate employee has been trampled to death in the past, and every year there's an injury or a brawl or lord knows what. That may not be every Wal-mart, but you can just about guarantee that if you see something about a Black Friday shopping situation gone horribly wrong, it will have taken place at a Wal-mart.
blasterhimen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a day when all the idiots go to Wal-Mart and murder each other over a TV that is $5 cheaper than it was the day before.
jerslan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I did merchandising at a Best Buy for a couple years a bit over 10 years ago... Stuff would be staged Wednesday night so that when we got in at 12:01 AM (and not a second sooner) on Friday Morning we could get it all setup and ready to go for the door-buster at whatever ridiculous hour it was scheduled. Then we got to leave at 8AM after most of the insanity had passed...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in the e-commerce arm of said company, so we spend the latter half of the year going absolutely insane over developing and executing all the Black Friday/November/December deals. It is a trip. Someone laid out a statistic in the aftermath that 25% of all e-commerce traffic in the US passed through the website on Thanksgiving Day. That's insane.
Of course, now the stores open at 8pm*, close at oh-dark-thirty and open again in the morning--because they figured out that it was a waste of money to pay people to sit on their thumbs overnight when all the good deals cleared out by midnight. Hey, why don't we just go back to the way it was and open at 6am or whatever? People will still show up.
Nonetheless, I did do some BF shopping for a few years and I was really impressed by everyone's methodical approach to line management and the big ticket items. It used to be chaos, now it's an orderly experience, and you know the minute you get in line whether you'll be able to get one of the doorbusters. And the customers have also raised their game too--they're in line with their items in under 5 minutes. Huge improvement.
However, I still think the people who have their damn tents on the sidewalk on Wednesday morning need to get a life. Go home!
blasterhimen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Technically it'd be more like the 50th person through the door.
blasterhimen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at BB at some point. They made a big fuss about some laptop that was going to be supercheap and they had literally 4 of them total.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. There were a few facepalms like that over the years. I think the record-holder for "dumbest deal ever" was a free extension cord with a television. Not a power strip, oh no--that would actually be useful. An extension cord. That was one of those deals where we were embarrassed to even create the content promoting it. Fortunately, that was several years ago, and everyone's gotten tons better at choosing things people actually want to, you know, buy.
Not to mention that Target has had not one, but two spectacular flame-outs over holiday in recent years. Quit redesigning your site and launching it the weekend before Thanksgiving! "Hey, you know what would be great? If it were the busiest week of the entire year, and nobody could figure out how to use our website because it was all different." said nobody ever, and yet Target has done that. Twice. And then the breach, holy shit.
Retail is an interesting world. The stores are only the tip of the iceberg.
SwenKa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black Friday wasn't really much worse than any other day of retail. In fact, it was so busy that your supervisor couldn't pull as much bullshit on you.
BaseAttackBonus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I packed a body on ice last month. this month I've just been chilling watching tv, i quit a restaurant job for this one and is much rather do this than retail
_Walt_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah mortuary work is pretty straight forward. 3am phone calls or when you just sat down are really the only times that really sucked to me.
arachnophilia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i worked for a department store photo studio over the holidays once. i think i'd rather clean up dead bodies.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised you didn't end up cleaning up dead bodies. I've seen how people can get in those places.
RDCAIA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked retail for a couple years prior to my career as an architect. And honestly, retail even during the holidays was easy. So easy. I mean you'll have some asshole treating you like shit in every job out there. But in retail, it never stressed me out.
One of my friends worked retail and thought it was the most stressful job in the world, which I honestly never ever understood. She now does data entry for a living.
the-mortiest-morty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "l'm corporate"
grendus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I figure if you have the stomach for cleaning up dead bodies it's probably not that hard. Soldiers in an active combat zone, bomb technicians, or trauma surgeons probably have it a lot worse.
Trishbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:30 on August 26, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll take the bodies. FUCK retail:)
targetJacob ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:47:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of the coolest things I heard when I worked retail in college was a local radio station taking time to thank those who were fixing to work the Black Friday shopping onslaught. It was nice to feel appreciated
dont_wear_a_C ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:25:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Working a women's retail store, like F21 or H&M is basically like working a Christmas every day.
Taleya ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:12:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cinema workers get slammed as well. Mother fucking boxing day releases. They're the HUGE one down here in Australia. Doesn't sound like much unless you work in the industry, but holy shit so many fucking curveballs get thrown by the studios. Hobbit meant an emergency set of upgrades to anyone with a certain type of player. Keys that don't work. Overburned drives from distros that can't be ingested and you don't get them until the night before opening. Fucking hunger games being released to cinemas with a 7.1 audio that JUST STOPPED MID-FILM. (Which, you know, the cinema owners don't know about until a cinema full of 300 angry fans start yelling)
It's all the fun of a major theatre performance mixed with the clusterfuck of an IT job (and don't get me started on the fucking logistics).
fun times
ThorneLea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love you. Thank you for this.
HeroFromTheFuture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked retail for years, and Xmas was the best time. Yeah, people were dicks. But they were dicks all year. Being busy made the time fly by. An 8-hour workday felt like an hour. Plus all that overtime? Plus fucking your coworkers and cute customers?
Fuck, I miss those days, even though I make 4 times now what I did then.
VampireSurgeon ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 06:22:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just finished my contribution to this thread. The TL;DR version of it is basically "Said I'd be house wife if I can't be a general surgeon. Others girls disapprove". Honestly, if I do end up as a house wife and I decided to make that apparent on my Facebook page, I wouldn't put some touchy feely bullshit like the CEO of stay at home mommy clusterfuck. I would put exactly what I would be. House wife.
Sure, being a parent is hard, but it offends me greatly that women in a room full of nursing home attendants, surgeons, soldiers, etc could have the fucking nerve to say they have the hardest job of all. Just put down "mom" and be done with it.
Vadersballhair ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:10:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't think they mean any offence. Pretty much anyone you meet thinks they've got it bad.
I mean, I still puke when I see it, but I bet even the job of your dreams has its days where you want to strangle an idiot, which is every day as a parent.
geeeeh ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 05:04:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It must be a hard job, because most of them REALLY suck at it.
arachnophilia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:29:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you can't spell "smother" without "mother".
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 07:07:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's see how good you are at a job when you start it at 14 years old.
geeeeh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:09:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, man. I'm the best person at masturbating myself I've ever met.
conquer69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:37:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You kinda fucked up if you joined the work force that early. Depends on the circumstances of course.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Motherhood is not the workforce. That's the joke.
[deleted] ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 04:56:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Vadersballhair ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:07:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burr is getting seriously good. I recently put him above Lois Ck as my favourite comic.
Astrosherpa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Source: https://youtu.be/Hitc8haEu_g
whatsnewpussykat ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:23:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Granted I've only been a mum for 8 months, but it really is easier than any job I've had before. There's hard times, but it usually just chilling with my little buddy and doing whatever we want. Plus cooking and cleaning and walking the dogs. Pretty sweet fucking deal.
Yawehg ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:08:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it is a really hard job when you do it right. I mean REALLY hard.
The problem is that it's basically impossible for a mom to get fired from parenthood. You can do a shit job and most people would never know. Unlike say, a paramedic, who will get fired very quickly if they're not pulling their weight.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:29:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Parenting is not a hard job. Virtually anyone can do it, and virtually everyone does, regardless of age, educational level or income bracket. Teenagers do it. The worst trailer trash in the world do it. Fucking murderers and drug dealers and sex offenders do it. There is literally no standard for being a parent.
I mean, you even have to go through a few weeks of training and some job shadowing to become a fucking WAITER. You need a couple years of experience and often a bachelor's degree to ANSWER PHONES AT A DESK. You have to get at least one college degree and a certificate to be a teacher. You need to go through 12 years of schooling to work even a single day as a doctor. But literally any fucking idiot can be a parent. And most are.
Footballer217 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:36:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, but I think the distinction here is that yes, it's easy to be a parent, anyone can do it. It's hard to be a good parent, however. Just because you're a parent doesn't mean you're a good one.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a distinction. Being a good parent is not a requirement for the task. You can be as shitty a parent as you like, and it is a virtual certainty that nothing will happen to you--unless you kill the kid. Beat the shit out of them, starve them, keep them locked in the basement? Keep them home from school, make them live in your DIY meth lab, let all your friends sexually abuse them? No problem. 99 times out of 100, nobody will do a damn thing about it. Not even if it gets reported. For every one kid who ends up removed from their awful parent, there are probably a thousand who just have to deal with it. And then the kids who do get removed probably end up with a foster family who makes Shitty Mom look like Mary Poppins.
So yeah, again--parenting requires no standards.
Gleeman ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:10:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Am I wrong or are you not addressing the point? /u/Yawehg said it's a really hard job when done right. So pointing out that it's physically possible for anyone post-pubescent to sire offspring and obtain the title "parent" isn't exactly relevant?
(And also, why would murderers/drug dealers/sex offenders being capable of something necessarily imply that the thing must be easy?)
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:25:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am addressing the point, which is that it doesn't matter if you do it right or not. Parenting requires zero qualifications and zero performance metrics. There is virtually no repercussion for doing it poorly. I mean, for crying out loud, parents brought back whooping cough because they were so shitty and dumb. We have textbooks that inaccurately portray historical events because parents are so shitty and dumb. We have kids whose parents come along on job interviews because the parents were so shitty and dumb that their college graduate has the coping skills of a 4th-grader.
The same cannot be said of even the most menial job. Even the most menial job requires that the person know what they're doing. Not parenting!
I seriously can't believe that people are trying to justify parenting as a skill. Prove that your kid grew up to be a functioning member of society first. After all, I had to prove my skills for every job I have ever had. Prove yours.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:52:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have got this totally backward in the usual Reddit way, arguing a case that really doesn't exist because you're backed into a corner. A mum may say she has the 'hardest job in the world'. Hyperbole, yes, but you have no idea if they're a good parent or not. They may well be, and therefore will be exhausted from doing the task well.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can, however, say with absolute certainty that they do not have "the hardest job in the world". Their job, in fact, is ridiculously easy compared to most of the professions I named. That's what makes it such an obnoxious comparison.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:13:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course, but your rhetoric took a very harsh turn somewhere between your original post and here. Some folks popped up saying that parenting wasn't as easy as you made it out to be - parents taking umbridge of the fact you lumped them in with murderers and meth heads - and you got super-aggressive. If you think about it, they have a point being a bit pissed at that. I'm in total agreement that even the best, most hard-working parent still hasn't got it as bad as many, many jobs, but you were just too dismissive of parenting as a whole, which I think was harsh to those of us that do exhaust ourselves looking after out kids.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I am too dismissive of parenting as a whole. Parents elevate their parenting into a level of achievement that it doesn't deserve. You do it yourself, right here:
How does this set you apart from literally everyone else, who has ever exhausted themselves doing anything? How are you different from the college student pulling an all-nighter for finals, or the bartender working a double because someone called in sick, or the aforementioned cop in his squad car on Christmas Day? What about parenting makes your alleged exhaustion any different or more noble than anyone else's exhaustion from their work?
It's not.
That's "umbrage". I'm pointing out that plenty of murderers and meth heads are also parents. OJ Simpson: parent. Charles Manson: parent. Founder of the Westboro Baptist Church: parent. (The entire congregation is mostly family members.) The absolute worst people you can possibly think of, and guess what--most of them were parents. Or, let's go with the silly ones: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian: parents. Jenny McCarthy, Miss Anti-Vax herself: parent. The fucking Duggars: obviously parents. Octomom: parent. Snooki from Jersey Shore: parent.
My point: being a parent does not actually construe any quality of character at all. Anyone can be a parent. And they'll probably think they're great, not only at parenting, but they will assume that whatever they do as a parent carries greater virtue than anything anyone else does. Every single parent in this thread has said exactly that. Even the insinuation that goes along with asking me, "Do you have kids?" is meant to suggest that I don't really know what I'm talking about because I'm not a parent.
So--again. You are demonstrating precisely the quality that I'm talking about, which is to think that your being a parent deserves the same recognition as people who save lives for a living, or work in critical functions that serve thousands of people. NO, IT DOES NOT.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No I don't, and your inability to comprehend my point shows just how much you are projecting your own experiences. I was saying that it's not cool to belittle people who do work hard parenting, regardless of how that task compares to jobs. Anecdotally, by the way, I feel like I'm escaping when I go yo work at 6.30 every morning, and feel bad for my SO who has to stay at home looking after the baby. This is just an anecdote, but I'm using it to show you how your extreme wording and attitude is a little misguided and unhelpful. Again, I am not suggesting parenting is even a job, let alone a hard one, but if you're a conscientious parent having some self-righteous guy like you piping away is a little maddening.
Edit, and if you haven't got kids then you are in a slightly weaker position as you haven't got the ability to moderate your thoughts based on experience. That's obvious, I would've thought. I work a demanding job and have a 5 month old baby, so I'm in a slightly more balanced position to make a judgement. That's why people ask.
Edit 2: phone typos.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this your first child?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it is. If we have more it will get easier, I'm sure. I think I know where this is headed.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you do. Which is that you have been a parent for only 5 months, you're not even the one staying home with the baby, and the baby itself isn't even crawling yet. Judging from my coworkers who have babies the same age, your kid is probably spending the bulk of its time sleeping, eating, needing diapers changed, and looking at things.
You do not have experience. You are, by definition, inexperienced. You are a brand-new fucking parent. I'd be willing to bet that the vast majority of your information comes from your pediatrician and various baby books. And you in particular aren't even the one doing it! You're at work while other people do it!
This is exactly what I'm talking about. Parents who think that the mere act of having a baby means they have "experience" and "judgment". There is absolutely NO reason for me to assume that you know your ass from a hole in the ground about raising a kid, or about anything else. There is NO reason for me to assume that you won't abuse or neglect your child, or fail to teach it age-appropriate skills, or split up with your SO and decide you're done with this fatherhood thing. MILLIONS of people do that every day. Why would you be any different? Because you're a parent? So are they.
So....once again....parenting does not confer upon you an elevated status of character or skill.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:33:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am clearly more experienced than you which was the point I made about you bitching about people asking if you have had kids. I have some experience, you have none. But this is an irrelevant sideshow.
But back to the main point of all this - I have never said that being a parent confers elevated status or skill. You have made that up yourself for some reason, and the infuriating thing is, I agree with you entirely! I hate folk who seem to thing creating a baby suddenly makes them better. It doesn't. My point, all along, has been that you have been attacking all parents who have been responding to you in this way, regardless of their point. That's why you seem a bit of a prick, as you're pushing your point when it's utterly irrelevant. My point has always been that you stating blunting that parenting is easy, is disingenous and naive, and it actually detracts from your original argument (which I agree with) by making you sound like a teenager proud of their logical reasoning skills. Parenting can be very easy, if you don't care that much about your offspring.
Look, some parents choose to not bother. They choose to do very little and just see what happens. Other parents choose to try very hard. It may never be a job, but some parents would put a great deal of effort into parenting, and having you shouting them down is overly harsh and makes you look a bit mean. So, final clarification - I actually upvoted your point about 'hardest job ever' as it was a good one, and rang true with me. But as I read down the thread you failed to listen to anyone making the very sound point that good parenting is a little harder (though by no means surgeon level, obviously) and just proceeded to shout the same stuff.
Yawehg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never seen someone on Reddit be this patient with someone so obstinate. It's like I'm observing the Buddha.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have to give up now, I'm afraid, as I haven't the time or energy. But thanks, hope you get where I'm coming from. I even still agree with his last response to me, regarding who decides what a good parent is. But that has never been my point. Hey ho.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:22:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, to recap, you think that changing diapers and giving bottles for a few months means you have "more experience than me" (and I've done that, so no, you actually don't); you think that I'm being "disingenuous and naive" when I point out that there are no qualitative standards for parenting and that anyone, no matter how terrible, can be a parent; and you think that I'm being "mean" in pointing this out and I'm "not listening" when people say that good parenting is harder than shitty parenting.
For that last one--how would any of you know? Because you think you're a good parent? You know what, every parent thinks they're a good parent. Anti-vaxxers, child-lead learning, religious fundamentalists who never let their kid out of the house, helicopter parents, functioning alcoholics, people who work 80-hour weeks and hire nannies, potheads who toke up every single day "to relax", even the ones who beat and neglect their kids, or who allow others to sexually abuse them--every single one of them thinks they're a good parent who is "doing their best". Shit, I'm a subscriber to /r/raisedbynarcissists and every single post in that subreddit is about parents who think they're great, when the posters have all gone through some really horrific shit. My parents thought they were great parents too.
So, no. None of you have any credibility whatsoever in telling anyone what "good" parenting is like. You are not the judge of that. Your children are, and society is. If you're a good parent, then that will become self-evident in time. We will tell you if you're a good parent, you will not tell us. And you bet your ass that I'm not going to take your word for it.
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah well then based on your theory and persona, society says your parents fucked up.
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If people are "inexperienced" because they've only been a parent for 5 months and shouldn't spew their opinion on parenting, what makes you think YOUR opinion is valid when you're 0 months experienced and NOT a parent? It can go both ways.
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How are you different from the college student pulling an all-nighter for finals, or the bartender working a double because someone called in sick, or the aforementioned cop in his squad car on Christmas Day"
Now what about the people who do all of these things and are parents?
Not all scenarios are created equally. Some people have posh living environments and nannies and also stay at home as a parent. Some people work 2 jobs to feed their kids and keep a roof over their head, spreading themselves thin and then also come home to parent. Not everyone as a parent is doing it with a partner. Some people have no network of grandparents or babysitters either.
Some people have babies that barely cry, and some people have babies with colic and have to safely shut them in their crib in a room and walk away for their own sanity.
It's not always JUST the bare necessities of raising a kid that's hard, ie. changing a diaper, bathing them, etc. It's also life's compounded responsibilities with child rearing.
Your whole argument is like trying to prove why med school is harder than getting an engineering degree, when both things have their own distinct variables and degrees of difficulty.
Gleeman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if you're trolling at my expense or if that's a novelty account or something, but your post is so non sequitur and filled with inane ranting that I'll limit my reply to just one thing in your post, and I don't intend on revisiting this conversation:
A bad parent (e.g. one who feeds his or her kid MacDonald's for every meal and allows him or her to permanently vegetate with an iPhone/iPad or something) is less likely to produce a functioning member of society.
A good parent (e.g. one who strives to make meaningful connections with his or her kid, instructs or finds ways to instruct the kid in lessons of moral value or the realization of critical thinking, and compels the kid in ways that help to achieve mental and physical balance/well-being) is going to have to work a lot harder, but is unquestionably more likely to produce a functioning member of society.
Besides, it's not like the child's first 18 years (or whatever length you want to consider) are meaningless and only the end goal is important. The fact that no institution exists to govern performance metrics of parenting (besides for bare minimum to avoid social services...) doesn't mean that it doesn't matter if you do it right or not. Of course it matters. It matters to the children whose lives are being enriched by a higher standard of living, and to those whose lives are impacted by those kids.
SmaterThanSarah ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:39:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone can do it. But to do it well takes effort which includes learning and educating yourself about all kinds of random things that you had no idea that you would ever need to know about. What makes parenting hard is the relentlessness of it. At times is is physically and/or mentally exhausting and it is hard to get a sufficient break when things are tough because you are still the parent.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:51:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The same could be said about pulling a double at Olive Garden.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I (dare I?) ask: do you have kids?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've already answered that question. Why do you think it's at all relevant?
SmaterThanSarah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:29 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But at the end of that double, you get to clock out. That's all I'm saying. There is no clocking out when you are a parent.
katmiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:38:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
With your sentiment that there's no standard to being a parent and that everyone does it, there's a difference between being a parent and parenting, just like someone can be a father but not a dad. You're basically using the term parent/parenting as an umbrella for everyone who has a kid. Not quite realistic.
True parenting is work, it is 24/7, and it doesn't just stop when your children become adults of turn some magical age. It's an ever evolving role your whole life as a parent.
Ever had a baby with colic? Ever watch your kid go through chemo treatments? Maybe bury a child you've raised way before their time? Go through terrible twos with toddlers? You can't just quit that, or see that it's 5:00 and walk out for the day.
True parenting is the most selfless thing "or job" that you can have, and often you can feel left under appreciated and burnt out.
12 years of school or not, even doctors hang their stethoscope at the end of the day and walk out.
Also, just because "any idiot can parent or have kids" doesn't mean they should.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
katmiss ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No need to read into more than what was stated. You may take away something with you when you're done, like you've just mentioned, but that wasn't the point. The daily tasks of said "job responsibility" are still, however, done, until you start again the next day. If a parent is sleeping, they're a parent. If a parent is at work, they're a parent. 24/7.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the fact of still being responsible and needing to take care of what arises at any interval of time. There could be a parallel if as a doctor you're home or on personal time and on call, but more so (I'm not sure what type of doctor you are), are you performing surgeries 24/7, or seeing patients 24/7? To clarify, it's not about being "xyz title" ie. parent, doctor, but being physically and mentally responsible at all times within that role as such. Sick kid? Come home from work. Kid can't sleep? Up all night with them, etc. Parenting doesn't have boundaries, a schedule, or a stop watch.
jaykayellem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was a stay at home parent, and now work full-time outside of the home. No one expected me to wear real pants, if I was tired or sick I could nap or rest if I felt like it. I didn't have many responsibilities beyond keeping the kid alive, fed, and playing with her. I didn't have a supervisor doling out tasks and deadlines, or any bullshit that comes with having an actual job. When I have a shitty day at work, I yearn for the days I spent cuddled with my child wearing yoga pants and reading llama llama red pajama for the 1000th time.
nzserif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if a parent is sleeping, ok sure they're a parent by name but they're not actually doing any parenting while they're asleep... i'm a teacher and when i'm asleep i'm technically still a teacher lol
similarly, if you're at work, you're not physically doing the job of parenting - you're doing some other work while your children continue to exist someplace else. yes you still hold the responsibility of parenthood just as the poor bastard above you still holds the responsibility of doctorhood even though he's not physically at the hospital, only i imagine he feels it far more keenly than any parent does while they push papers at the office or sleep
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See next comment.
And yes you're right, but your students aren't scared and climbing in your bed, refusing to go to sleep at 3am, or puking all over your feet. You leave them at school when you leave, except for any work you take home. They, as humans, aren't your responsibility when they're out of your hands at the end of the day since they go home to their parents/caregivers. Maybe a point should be made that scenarios are subject to change based on which phase you're in in child rearing, such as a toddler or newborn, or if your kids are in high school. Also, being a stay at home parent vs a working parent can have two totally different viewpoints on the matter as well. For the parent who is a stay at home mom or dad, the 24/7 really is magnified.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you nuts? Of course it fucking isn't. It's a completely selfish pursuit. You are literally replicating yourself for your own fulfillment. It doesn't get less "selfless" than that.
The minister who spends Christmas holding a dying person's hand is doing something selfless.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
SunshineCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well nothing is completely selfless (maybe unless you literally die to save someone else), but some things are still more selfless than others.
HeroFromTheFuture ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:33:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The minister didn't create the lives he's helping, and how many parents are really helping their kids selflessly?
Your analogy is asinine.
katmiss ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps this is a more extreme example, but, the people who get impregnated through rape and decide to carry out the task of giving birth and raising the child have created life for their own fulfillment? Conception isn't always fulfilling, and neither is parenting always.
You sure do use a lot of one size fits all generalizations.
Holding someone's dying hand isn't selfless because it's some special occasion like Christmas, by the way. Weak.
SunshineCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of those people would just be doing it because of religion, though. It could be more selfless in that case to give up an unplanned child since you hadn't been properly prepared for it. The unborn baby never asked to exist, and there's a good chance they'd later often wonder why the hell they even had to exist. There is nothing inherently good about creating life, nor is there anything inherently bad about stopping a life that doesn't fully exist. I would err on the side of stopping a life, since the consequences of the former would affect much more than me, and the unborn can't consent to existing.
WafflesTheDuck ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you raising a rape baby?
subfluous ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are full-blown wacky.
hagdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Parenting is hard. Very hard sometimes. But this is comparing apples to oranges. Parenting isn't a job, not in the same way that waiting tables or performing brain surgeries is, but that doesn't mean it's not hard to raise a good kid. Any mom who says it's the hardest job in the world is simply patting herself on the back for being a stay at home mom and doesn't know what a real job is.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:40:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:50:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, I don't. I had shitty parents, though.
katmiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:59:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was painfully obvious through your projecting.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:00:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have kids?
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, sure do.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:05:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was painfully obvious through your projecting.
For that matter, everyone who got all defensive at what I said only served to prove the original point. They think they accomplished something by reproducing, and that it stacks them right up there with oncologists and first responders and so forth. Like, seriously? SERIOUSLY. Sit the fuck down.
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Getting defensive? No. Don't confuse me debating your blinded view point with parental pride and or the ability to reproduce. Not once was that stated anywhere in any of my responses.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
katmiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh yeah. You got me. I just totally walked into that one by answering honestly and giving 0 fucks about the response. Congratulations, she can sarcastically regurgitate my own statement back to me. Let's let the Reddit gold fall from the sky for that never seen before ingenuity. golf clap
hagdog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You walked in to it because you were calling someone out for projecting while doing the same thing. Relax. The other person is clearly a /r/childfree individual with daddy issues. You can't convince her that parenting is hard work because her parents didn't give that effort.
HeroFromTheFuture ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do they feel about having a cunt for a mom?
Comtesse_de_Lancret ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are right on. Even animals can be parents, so it can't be that hard.
HeroFromTheFuture ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:30:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd argue that it's NOT a hard job when you do it right. When you take enjoyment from spending time with your child, and teaching them to one day be a responsible adult. It's not necessarily the easiest thing in the world, but it's a blast, and flies by way too fast.
It gets hard when you're too wrapped up in your own shit to want to raise your kid. Then the whole thing becomes torturous drudgery. So yeah, it's only the shittiest moms who would post about how being a mom is the hardest job ever. Because for them, it really is.
AHiddenFace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:32:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stop, just no. Nothing is hard about it. The population has done it for millions of years.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no, it is not REALLY hard. if you can be SAHM when someone provides for you to sit your ass at home, that's a luxury
JuniperJupiter ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:49:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SHOTS FIRED! HIT THE DECK!
(yes, I agree with you)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BUT WHAT IF YOU HAVE A JOB AND ARE A MOTHER AT THE SAME TIME!!?!??!?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then, when presented with the question, "What's your job?" you would probably list your job. I'm sure the vast majority of people who responded to the poll that I originally posted about were parents. But they a) didn't feel the need to inflate their own importance by saying something like, "I have the hardest job of all! I'M A 747 PILOT!" and b) they didn't mention being a parent at all, except insofar as their work might interfere with their holiday plans.
I mean, shit, Obama's a parent. Does he say, "I HAVE THE HARDEST JOB OF ALL! I'M A DAD!" (And he actually does, arguably, have one of the hardest jobs in the world.) No, because he has some fucking perspective.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah I was trying to say that most people who responded with a job are likely also parents at the same time, so why would anyone want to respond like they are one of the unique people (lol) who have a child to care for.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right?
STR8_SH00TER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being in the Army and seeing friends' wives post "I've got the hardest job in the Army... I'm an Army wife".
NO. I don't think you have to dodge IEDs at the PX and FRG meetings.
bigbadgreg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On mobile now but Google "Bill Burr most difficult job" for his views on that idea. Hilarious bit.
ProxySpam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love the bit Bill Burr has about this, I wish I had a link for it
positmylife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what the hardest job in the world is? Helping women that have the hardest job in the world write a resume for a paid position that isn't the hardest job in the world. I would know! That was one of my nightmares last night. It's going on my resume.
drunkrabbit99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty fucking sure you can't do the hardest job in the world in your pyjamas...
MuncaJames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bill Burr - Motherhood: The Most Difficult Job on the Planet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoJrMaFlxOk
Mandosquirrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On a similar note, when you see parenting books on a bookshelf. Claim you have the "hardest" job of all and then be unable to look after children without the help of a book. You shouldn't need help when performing the single purpose of humanity!
soylentcoleslaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A-fucking-men. My best friend is divorced and gets his kids on the weekends. His triplets. His 3 year old triplets. Nearly every week I drive an hour each way to see him and the kids on Saturday or Sunday. I leave as soon as I've walked my dog and showered and I come home when he goes to bed. It's typically the highlight of my week. I love those kids as if they were my own and if I was ever lucky enough to have my own kids, I'd be over the moon if I got to quit my dreary job and spend every day with them instead. Fuck everybody who would rather work a shitty job than take care of your kids, you're probably a shithead raising another shithead.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Seriously, if you're a mom, you need to realize that squirting a human being out of your vagina does not make you the most intelligent being on the face of the planet. Nor does it make you special. All you've done is something that literally billions of women have been doing for hundreds of thousands of years. Get the fuck over yourself and stop acting like you're the first woman to ever have a baby. And just because you can outsmart a toddler does not mean you know more about health than a doctor. Stop believing everything Oprah says.
Gwendilater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sentance makes my skin crawl.
snoop_cow_grazeit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People that feel the need to tell me that are stupid. You are not special because you had a kid at 17 or whatever young age. Just because you're a mother, doesn't make you a good one. It's absolutely not a job, its a responsibility, because being paid support from the government because you fucked your life up doesn't count as income.
Citrus_Zest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to all those Mothers that got black-lung!
LicklePickle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who complains about her child being in the 'terrible twos' and how much she looks forward to nap time so she has a bit of quiet time to herself.
But then she'll tell me how she finished an entire video game in one sitting, or a book, or a TV show/movie binge or anything along those lines and I just think, most people can't read and play games at work. It's not a job. Yeah, it's hard but it's life, you chose to procreate, deal with the consequences.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Allow me, as a mom whose job is not the hardest of all, to translate:
It's not socially acceptable to say that being a full-time parent is actually a pretty shitty way to spend your life. Instagram type moms aren't allowed to say, "I thought my life would be like a detergent commercial, but it turns out cleaning up baby poop and yelling at a toddler all day, and never getting more than three hours of sleep at a time, is really fucking miserable," but they can say, "This is the hardest job of all."
tamethewild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Litterally half the planet can and at some point will do the same job as you. It is nothing special. You got yourself into it, im not going to reward you for complaining about it... and while I'm at it your dog seems to be doing a better job than you, and she has 8
AlmightyRuler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Any job you can do in pajamas isn't hard... You're living the dream!"
-- Bill Burr
Br0metheus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We can all blame Oprah for this one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is such a slap across the face to people with actual jobs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
maybe they're trying to validate themselves somehow. like oh look at me I'm relevant, I'm important! this is a real job!
not excusing them, just wondering if that's what's behind it.
JEWCEY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper hard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stay at home mom here: I also hate fellow SAHM who use this line. No, really, our job isn't that hard. Can it be frustrating? Sure. Infuriating? Definitely. Stress inducing? Sometimes! But it does not even compare to the work many others are out there doing.
Sure, it's an important job, no doubt about it, but comparatively speaking ... I have it fucking easy and I know it. I am grateful to be able to stay at home and raise my children, but doing so doesn't make me Superwoman or a Goddess. Sheesh.
bass_n_treble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:41 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bill Burr said it best. If you can wear pajamas to your job, and the most exercise you get is bending over to put in a DVD, your job is not that hard.
shogekix ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 01:47:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chief Tendie Officer
[deleted] ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 03:03:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always interpret that as a way of saying "I have no other accomplishments to speak of except my kid and have nothing else going on in my life"
Tortoise_Rapist ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 03:18:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My boyfriend who is in the military knocked me up so now I just stay at home and raise our baby!!!!"
Tfitzdion ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 04:31:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, the "dependapotamus"
ItsOK_ImHereNow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:32:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I needed that word in my vocabulary!
Suthen ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:15:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a life, it has a great deal to do with my kids. But teaching kids not to be shitheads in this day in age is no joke!
Sonja_Blu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:52:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean day and age. I'm sorry :(
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! I worry enough about my own son turning into a shithead and he's only six months.
subfluous ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. Day in age.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lying down on your back and letting some dude bust a nut inside you is as much of an accomplishment as when I got out of bed this morning and took a piss.
OWLONGCANAREDDITNAM ยท -43 points ยท Posted at 03:12:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Moms who don't work are all worthless.
[deleted] ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 03:15:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm just saying moms who make the fact that they're a mom their entire personality is annoying to me.
DanGarion ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:10:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like people that make whatever job they have their entire personality. Fuck them...
liber_nihilus ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:12:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I detect sarcasm but you're 100% right.
ILikeYouABunch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:27:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How the fuck did you learn that? Are you even reading the same thread?
This is my greatest accomplishment means they are are worthless? Are you twisting the meaning to become offended, or are you an utter moron?
OWLONGCANAREDDITNAM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I always interpret that as a way of saying 'I have no other accomplishments to speak of except my kid and have nothing else going on in my life'" That's where I got that from, how does "Job: CEO of stay at home mommy!!!" make anyone think that?
I was defiantly over exaggerating but I'm just showing my point.
ILikeYouABunch ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:25:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's you who makes the leap from "no other accomplishments to speak of" to "worthless"
Why are you judging people's worth on how they view their accomplishments? You take it from a neutral statement to a negative one.
If that's not bad enough, you're trying to put those words into the other guy's mouth. You're projecting.
That's why your comment is dumb.
OWLONGCANAREDDITNAM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am most defiantly putting words into his mouth he said that anyone who says that "Ceo of mommy thing" has apparently no achievements. As I said I'm exaggerating but I'm trying to show my point - that there's no reason that he should think that.
InvidiasFury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She has nothing better to do than be offended.
OWLONGCANAREDDITNAM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where did you get the idea I'm a she from?
InvidiasFury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I forgot to add the /s, in tune with several other comments on this subject. Sorry.
OWLONGCANAREDDITNAM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also why do you think I'm offended, I'm annoyed but not offended...
[deleted] ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 03:18:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's like hating moms is a circlejerk here on reddit.
edit: I guess I struck a nerve. Redditors really hate moms.
WonderWeasel91 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:39:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moms are fine. Women that have a child and instantly think they become better than the rest of the world are not.
St_Veloth ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:44:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand why some people think having kids is an accomplishment. Raising kids to be proper adults seems like an accomplishment. But simply having kids? I don't consider something that dogs do accidentally sometimes to be a noteworthy accomplishment.
WonderWeasel91 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:56:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a 17 year old sister who has a child. Since she became a mom, she's become more self entitled, and frankly has a bad attitude toward everyone else. She complains constantly about how no one in the family helps her or cares about her baby. She feels deserving, and downright demands assistance from my parents, but she's moved in with her baby daddy, and none of us actually know where she lives. She dumps her kid off on my mom for the majority of the week. But she's very quick to post on social media how amazing of a mom she is, and how hard she works for her child, and how no one else in the world has the right to tell her how to raise her baby.
What's her favorite cliche? "Being a mommy is the hardest job on the world."
St_Veloth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds a lot like my friends sister. She had two kids, both by accident, and has never held a job in the world. Her dad has paid for everything and her brothers were always there for her but she completely shut them out. She moved in with her boyfriend somewhere and hasn't been in contact with her family in a while, and apparently resented her family because "they never do anything for her"
Bromlife ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you call her out on this egregious behaviour?
WonderWeasel91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:05:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, without going into my whole life story, I'm not really involved in my sister's life, though not for lack of trying. She pushed me out a long time ago due to some poor decision-making by our parents that ended up with me living separately from her while we were growing up. After that, I started my adult life, and I don't see my family often anymore.
My mom is an enabler for her, and no matter my input, my sister will continue to be ungrateful, and my mom will continue to clean up behind her. I know this is going to sound terrible, but I just don't care to try to change her. It doesn't matter how loudly you speak if no one's listening anyway. Don't get me wrong though, I love my sister. It's just that right now, she has a lot of things to learn, but very little that she's willing to be taught.
Bromlife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair call.
The real shame is the impact she'll have on her child.
OWLONGCANAREDDITNAM ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:43:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree but nothing from "Job: CEO of stay at home mommy!!!" makes me think they feel there better than anyone else, it's just them trying to be light hearted.
WonderWeasel91 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:48:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it's not so much that particular thing, as what some of those people have a tendency to post. Yeah, that's cute and playful, but the whole "being a mom is the hardest job in the world" thing is so played out, and frankly, it's annoying. It just so happens that most of the people I've seen post/say stuff like that happen to be terrible parents.
But, there's two sides of every fence, and I'm sure not every girl that claims that cute little job title is an annoying person or bad mom.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:20:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is reddit. Most any circlejerk one fancies can be found here.
ILikeYouABunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yes. This is all I got too... One guy said that raising a kid isn't that difficult or unique of a thing compared to dangerous or skilled labor.
I guess that means they hate moms? I dunno I get confused when there's more than one sentence or no pictures.
Edit: of course you struck a nerve. People just don't have reasoning skills like they use too. It's bunch dumb kids tryna sound smart cuz they have a bedtime lol
Edit2: ha only one sentence and I still got confused too. At least I'm not the only idiot haha
dzielin ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:51:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh yes, the self-proclaimed "Domestic Engineers."
jerslan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:25:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they have an actual degree in Engineering and gave up their career to raise their children? More power to them. Those will probably be some smart kids.
zazie2099 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:32:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chief Operating Officer of Slammin' Ass All Over Town Incorporated
FunkyTowne ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:44:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Director of operations at Smith household"
Saw that one recently and eyes were appropriately rolled.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you get a paycheck? No. Do you have to frequently report to your boss? No. Do you have to file your taxes at the end if the year? No. Can you do your job barefoot and in a bathrobe? Yes? Then it's not a job. Let's start calling it what it really is: unemployment.
netflixandchili ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:53:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And it's never just one exclamation point.
majnus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:03:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends from high school... Right after she had a kid, she changed her name on FB to 'Mrs Do-And-Know-It-All' with the occupation 'Full Time MOM'. That's the most retarded thing I have ever seen.
shomest ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:37:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Past Employment: High School Dropout
mumma_bear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a full time student, I've listed my job as "Bum"... not a CEO of Bum yet.
paranoiainc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
hagamuffin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:01:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worse if they blog about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they blog about recipes, you have to scroll down about a chapter book's worth of paragraphs about how her husband and children are picky eaters blah blah blah but they loved this one and they don't even know there are veggies in it blah blah blah before you even get to the damn recipe you came for.
hagamuffin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:58 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God I hate that shit. People looking fire recipes don't need a family history...
careersinscience ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:56:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The final and ultimate achievement of any woman!
trajan94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:07:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This stay at home mum earns $3600 a week by using these one simple tricks...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That just sounds like a joke.
krystalklear818 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Director of child management" or "prepubescent lifestyle engineer" or "juvenile training supervisor" are all options. Gotta throw the corporate spin on it.
AscendingSnowOwl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CFO of babysitting and blowjobs!
zosobaggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Second half would have negated the first half. Hindsight is a bitch!
timrbrady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I recently saw a Facebook page that listed both:
Shut the fuck up. You can't count being a mom as a job if you have an actual job.
CynicsaurusRex ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
<3 that boy
Bacon4EVER ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Why is that such a unsavory way to express your education? I'm a high school graduate, that attended a couple of years of college and left without a degree. I now live a very happy life as a restaurant server and bartender. I am a student at the University of Life, studying Patience and Understanding. My graduation day will be my last day on earth. I am happy with that.
Edit Why am I not shocked by the down votes Reddit?
[deleted] ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 01:23:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"ย I, on the other hand, am a fully rounded human being with a degree from the university of life, a diploma from the school of hard knocks, and three gold stars from the kindergarten of getting the shit kicked out of me." - Captain Blackadder
Pretence ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:03:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, every rule must have an exception.
financeterp ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 01:14:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or even those people who write "i didn't go to high school, i went to school high"
Steamships ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:06:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god. I guess I'm in the wrong/right crowd because I've never seen this before and I think it's hilarious.
Bobblefighterman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:30:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty funny though. I had a chuckle.
D-DC ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:55:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
highschool is fucked if you arent beautiful. I had to go high to deal with that bullshit
mythrowawayhehe ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:22:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Languages: Wit and Sarcasm
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:14:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what does School of Hard Knocks mean? Is it a reference?
peasant_ascending ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 01:21:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"School of Hard Knocks" is a colloquial term used to describe a difficult life. It implies that your education is boiled down to life experiences in unfortunate circumstances and that it somehow makes you wise and more worldly than your academic peers.
gsfgf ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:10:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it meant prison
SlingJewel ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:35:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is one concentration in The School of Hard Knocks, with a minor in probation fees late in your degree.
_From_The_Internet_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:19:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I
wentwas the Latino boy bussed into a black neighborhood middle school with white kids as the popular ones. The whites didn't accept me and the blacks thought I was white. I got my ass kicked a lot, but I always fought back. This one time, another student threatened to stab me with a pair of scissors. I put my face out, closed my eyes, and said, "Go ahead." They backed out.Another time, this Deon Sanders looking dude that was way ahead in puberty didn't like me for being white. I would talk shit back if he started. He went to punch me. I smiled and let the braces handle the rest. He looked confused as well when he realized what happened to his hand. There was his blood everywhere and his skin was stuck in my braces. It took a half day to pick it out, but it was worth it.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:44:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not trying to start a fight, but I'm pretty sure 99% of the time that WOULD make you more worldly than most college students. I felt like you were saying that as though it were a silly notion. Many universities are isolated and in no way representative of the world at large.
MilesBeyond250 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:06:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But the problem is that at least in my experience it's often used by people who that doesn't really apply to. They didn't have a difficult life or a wide variety of experiences, they're just trying to justify dropping out of uni to work at Walmart full time
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:19:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not more worldly, but more experienced and well rounded, yes.
finkleface ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for using colloquial
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
peasant_ascending ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:46:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why? I'm not saying they arn't but the assumption that just because you went to university, you havn't had a hard life and are not aware of "the real world" or do not have street smarts, is the flaw. Nor am I saying that educated people inherently do have a better understanding of the world. It all comes down to personal experience.
throw_away_12342 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has that as the school he went to college so I'm not sure why. Though his facebook also says he was born in Kazakhstan... He was born in the middle of Mexico.
He did have a hard life though, so I guess it's better than most people who say it.
lookuppage7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:27:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It might make you streetwise, though
GIB_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:04:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or it might be an indicator that you consider your challenges to be more difficult than others simply because you can't overcome them when others can.
Waldo_where_am_I ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
playing in the background Those filthy peasants. They are so uncouth. They haven't even read Chaucer. Boorish commoners.
Reddit elitism
peasant_ascending ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's funny because i actually have read Chaucer, but i wouldn't recommend it to the average person. Nor do i think a life without Chaucer is a wasted one.
deabag ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:21:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An expression. Also a song from the musical & movie Annie. Also listen to Jay Z's version.
LewisCD ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:45:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or Dr. Evil's version.
Jordanistan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how to be No crib on MTV. God only knows. Got My Mini Me. and the GPS see how it goes
Quiwundi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dominos
flarkis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tracy Jordan
DantesEdmond ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 01:18:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or parents who write that they work at "full time mom/dad".
So other parents are part time parents? They work all day and come home to their family so they're just part time parents who are lesser parents than the ones who do it full time?
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 01:23:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zSprawl ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:39:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I recently quit my job and Facebook can't stop asking me to add my current one, so I just said I am currently attending school at the Evil League of Evil.
DantesEdmond ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:33:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just to clarify, I have absolutely nothing against stay at home parents. My issue is with people acting superior to other people for the stupidest reasons.
And I don't think you need to justify what you do for a living to Facebook; fuck Facebook trying to categorize everyone and everything.
pancaltor ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:35:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck Facebook in general, honestly.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:37:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:14:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This seems like a perfect opportunity to experiment with the data results. You could put "travel agent" or "celebrity chef" or "janitor at the Eiffel Tower" and see what kind of ads you get.
graymash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I second that, would love to see the results on reddit. Call it a social (network) experiment. FYI I don't have Facebook as I'm certain it's evil, I'm one of the few people I know without it. Most new people I meet generally assume I'm a hitman or something.
imakenosensetopeople ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:38:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, there's no "pretty sure" about it, that is 100% spot in exactly what they are doing.
Remember, if its free, you are the product!
Spoogly ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:33:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The best, and most truthful answer for this is Homemaker. Inherently, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being the dedicated homemaker of a family, it's gender neutral, and it doesn't put down anyone else for their parenting style or choice to remain employed. Personally, if I took off time from work to make home life easier for my partner, I'd be quite proud to put that down as my employment.
penis_in_my_hand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Solution:
Don't log onto facebook
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:42:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
penis_in_my_hand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was mostly joking.
I use it for that too.
gsfgf ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:10:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That actually sounds awesome. I might want a kid if I only had to parent 20 hours a week.
hive_worker ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:43:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean if they don't raise the kids between the hours of 8 and 6 yeah they could probably be called part time parents. I really don't understand your gripe here
w00kiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Per the full time parent policy, if you aren't at home with your child(ren) but choose to hand them over to a nanny or day care (because, ya know.. work, school and stuff) you are a part time parent and thus even less of a parent.
That's how it comes across to me.
thebloodofthematador ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:51:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I dropped out of high school!"
crazypond ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:14:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
at least it's not "da streets"
CandyBurglar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:16:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine recently attempted to add "School of Hard Knocks" to the profiles of people in our friend group. Apparently fb allows others to make suggestions in case you missed part of your background.
sundancee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:40:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry.
Fabrikator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cheaper tuition fees though.
rakmode ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More than half of my fucking family uses Hard Knocks as their alma mater. What a load of shit! Then they use that as an excuse to bash on "them educated people who think they're better 'en everybody".
pm_me_ur_toes_girl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the people who misspell the school they went to, or their degree. Im looking at you "physcology".
Mutoid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I too look down upon the proudly uneducated
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Work: Cook at The Krusty Krab
"I'm so random!"
Niquey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Favorite books: I don't read.
stellarladyfriend ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about, "Your mom goes to college"? Because that's what mine says and I want to know if people dislike me for it.... Because....I care.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:30:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People probably dislike you. :(
Kell08 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People probably like you. :)
DirtMcGirt2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For the longest time mine just said "College"
aubgrad11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the reminder that Hard Knocks starts tonight
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe your street smarts aren't as useful as you think if you seriously still think that's clever.
i_spam_nades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you okay wth Blue Mountain State?
RhetoricalTestQstNs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Dr. Mary has healed thousands of Seattle radio listeners and is a summa cum laude graduate of the School of Hard Knocks."
Frasier
POGtastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about Ball So Hard U?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or The Krusty Krab as their employer.
crazedacorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got my religion set to "Church of Hot Addiction." Does that make me one of those people?
Vallarta21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Studied at da streets
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sympathize with them, instead of kisses, they got kicked.
MagentaOrangutan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or anyone who has a phrase for their middle name.
Example: John gettinmoney Smith.
DrrtyPancakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually just saw this for the first time today.
DerpGrub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
job: "my bosses bitch." had that for a while till my boss saw it then i took it down heh he laughed and agreed that i was tho..
omgmypony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you trying to imply that I didn't attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?
hersheydee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ball So Hard University"
smackythefrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I do know two people who go here which is kind of close....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have "Ball So Hard University" as mine, because I like the Ravens and I got fucking tired of Facebook asking me where I graduated college when I ended up dropping out.
Ymir24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh. I studied at ย Theย Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to write a plugin that changes those to "College Dropout" and "High School Dropout" respectively.
Mini_Me87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHYPHY
Lindlaar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I told someone I went to HKU thinking I'd set myself up for a hard knocks university joke. They just assumed I'm chinese and didn't give me the chance. Guess I deserved it
TerroristOgre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated summer cum loud from Ball So Hard University.
girlofsandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or those that put their occupation as "full-time mommy"...
ThePoliticalPenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well...there's actually a chiropractic school near me called Life University, I've heard it been called University of Life
VirgilFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're just trying to make themselves feel better about actually having no education.
enphurgen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never met a person who has done this. I am blessed.
LetMeGDPostAlready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, fuck those people for being made to feel insecure about having not gone to college and having Facebook prompt them over and over and over
"Hey, something's wrong here. Looks like you haven't filled out the 'where I went to college' section of your profile. Why is that? Obviously you did go to college, I mean... what are you, a cave man? So please take a minute to tell us where you went to college. It's not like someone who's 33 and lives in the United Fucking States of America could possibly have not have gone to college by now. Seriously, fill it out."
I continue to get the prompts and ignore them, but I can see the benefit of putting something in there just so it will STFU.
MatloxES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or works at the Krusty Krab
Landy99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the people who put "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry".
JetLifeLoL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Works at the Krusty krab"
CaptainErronous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Education: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Work: Dunder Mifflin
freeinthewind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or works at "The Krusty Krab"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no problem with that if it's from someone who actually succeeded in life without going to school after HS.
CovingtonLane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Domestic Goddess
igloo27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hogwarts"
CatamountAndDoMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or fucking Hogwarts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My school is actually next to a life university.
jellyshoes11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "works at the Krusty Krab"
kblaney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Street smarts" is usually just something dumb people say they have to make themselves feel superior to smart people.
DavidSpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you heard those 'graduate of life' radio commercials by any chance?
coza73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uni of "Get a fucking job!!!"
OneOf_ThosePeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All abored the hate train..
AnorhiDemarche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The school of hard knocks is a real thing now. They're fond of puns. the ukulele class is called "Ukelear Power"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine has my real uni but also the College of Winterhold.
I majored in Destruction
anon_he_must ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny. I put my education as "The School of Only Medium Knocks". I came from those firm, firm, suburban streets.
inhoc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's says "Finder of lost things in the Inhoc household." I thought that was kinda funny.
flowfordayz13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Major: Money Makinnnnnnn seriously saw someone with that
TheAdmiralCrunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Translation: Community college dropout.
sunshinebusride ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine says "studied at Riverdeep Mountain High" and I think it's awesome & clever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone on Facebook
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Works at Student
tajbinjohn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry"
Satans__Secretary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, maybe some people just don't want FB to see their ppersonal info...
Personally I have mine set as "Cross Academy: Night Class".
Ptizzl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad.
This made me laugh because every time I see his profile I get upset.
thatricksta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had mine set as the derick zoolander school for kids who want to learn to read and do other stuff good too for a while. Do you hate me? :'(
pplpersonpaperppl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did not go to business school. You know who else didn't go to business school? Lebron James, Tracey McGrady, Kobe Bryant. They went from high school to the NBA so... so it's not the same thing... at all.
Adrxone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget Hogwarts and Kanye's Ghetto University...
catzi1 ยท 4799 points ยท Posted at 15:37:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a mother, I know all there is to know about kids.
dannyr ยท 4078 points ยท Posted at 19:25:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Generally followed by "If you don't have kids yourself you can't have an opinion".
The fuck I can't. They may be your kids, but I can spot a brat at 200 yards
Iamnotnick ยท 3186 points ยท Posted at 23:15:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does it look different from a normal sausage at that distance?
Brodins_Hammer ยท 1033 points ยท Posted at 00:52:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That joke is the wurst.
ZsaFreigh ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 00:55:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
something something wiener.
Mr_Abe_Froman ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 01:19:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Case closed.
REF_YOU_SUCK ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:38:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bake 'em away, toys!
Mr_Abe_Froman ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:21:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not yet, we should grill them first.
Iceman_259 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:11:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username
Mr_Abe_Froman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:20:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for noticing.
VAPossum ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:58:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Troggie42 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:34:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you doubting the sausage pun abilities of THE Abe Froman? The sausage KING of Chicago? Shame on you, sir/madam. Shame on you.
Mr_Abe_Froman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:58:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the support. With Doug Sohn's retirement and Dick Portillo selling the family business, the Chicago sausage community needs to stick together.
Mr_Abe_Froman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:06:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that would be the pun.
ENTasticTaig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are the king of the matter, how's Chicago?
Mr_Abe_Froman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's hot and humid. It's mostly the humidity off the lake, it hasn't been windy enough to move the heavy air. The Botanical Garden's corpse flower is about to bloom for the first time in 12 years, so I have that to look forward to.
In Sports, Cubs are doing well and Hawks fans are just waiting until the Kane investigation reaches a verdict. The NFL Draft will come back. So good for business, bad for traffic. But with so many international festivals, it's nothing Chicagoans aren't used to.
In politics, an Alderman was punched in the face after asking/telling prostitutes to move out of his ward. No one is facing major corruption charges right now (fingers crossed).
It's summer in the city, I'm just relaxing before Winter hits.
Indie_uk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amazed this comment hasn't been gilded, this is reddit gold.
EDIT - literally
the1990sjustcalled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sosaj
wlee1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
metta wurst peace
peterofwestlink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be frank, I hate you both.
IamReek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please provide a link.
RickSHAW_Tom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it was one I could sink my teeth into.
Lukescale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God damn puns make ing me spill my wieners.
sl1dememphis ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:43:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even right now.
Mr_Abe_Froman ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:19:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can.
personalkid ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:59:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/dadjokes has accepted you
paniniparmesan ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:51:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most underrated comment of the year
iamyourcheese ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 01:03:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the old reddit sausage-a-roo
Anne__Frank ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:28:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hold my Weiner, I'm going in!
--TheDoctor-- ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:44:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It just kinda stops unless you scroll down
CaptDark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:34 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I was gonna get all wise guy, and it turns out, you have to sift through a whole thread! Fuck that.
aupde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:57 on September 4, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Commenting to continue the journey later. Can I get some snacks over here guys? Guys?!
iamyourcheese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:38 on September 4, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try some sausage
Woodyger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're the wurst
fff8e7cosmic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think size might matter a bit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the buns.
BadgersForChange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. But at 201 yards!...
somethingblend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is where I stop reading the comments on this post. You win Reddit.
ImpoverishedYorick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the smell, usually.
Omnipotent_Entity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you can tell by the color of the mold they grow.
Barr67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the dad
Coool_Beans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the first comment to make me laugh out loud today :) thank you very much!
ffxivthrowaway03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only if it's filled with cheese. You can tell because it's more plump.
brick_fist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only to the trained eye
n_rodman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sly motherfucker, upvote for you.
StateLottery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ayyy
__KODY__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A couple of weekends ago I texted my Mom inviting her and Dad over for dinner and stated that we were having brats for dinner.
She was super confused as to why I'd want to invite little jackass kids over for dinner. And then the realization text popped up a few minutes later.
free_dead_puppy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the cheese head.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would imagine at that distance they look about the same.
SassyNoodles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, 200 yards away it'll look wurst than a brat.
khaddy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:04:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
in general the weisswurst is much more well behaved
Mr_Abe_Froman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And better seasoned. Mmmm, weisswurst.
High_Seas_Pirate ยท 282 points ยท Posted at 00:15:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, well I'm no mechanic either, but if I see a car wrapped around a tree I can tell you there's something wrong with the engine."
dannyr ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 00:21:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite comeback is always "Would you only trust the opinion an oncologist who has suffered cancer?"
rapscallionx ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:23:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds a lot like "you're a man so you shouldn't be talking about abortion" or "you're white so you can't talk about (insert racial minority issue)"
publicfrog ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:06:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I don't think men can truly understand how horrifying pregnancy can be. Most women don't even feel comfortable about their periods until they're in highschool/college, and that's something they deal with every single month of their lives. If it takes a woman 5-10 years to get over the embarrassment, pain, and frankly, horror at the fact that they're spewing chunky blood out of their vaginas, imagine how much worse going through a 9 month shit show (literally) followed by a horrifyingly painful procedure that regularly kills women unless they have really good medical intervention. We spend our whole lives being warned about pregnancy, it stands to reason some women just can't deal with how terrible it is. Women are physically never the same after having kids, that shouldn't be forced upon them.
So yeah, I don't think it's fair for men to say what women shouldn't be able to do with their bodies. They never run the risk of getting pregnant, they never have to feel their bodies going through horrific changes, and they never have to worry what happens if an abortion isn't an option, other than some child support.
If they don't want an abortion, they shouldn't get one.
ktappe ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:19:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Points all taken, but this discussion is not just about abortion. And you are assuming only the negative; you aren't covering the case where a man is sympathetic about and supportive of a woman's right to choose.
publicfrog ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:08:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no problem with men who support abortion, don't care too much about the issue, or don't agree with it but take no steps to prevent one. I don't care about their personal beliefs, my problems are with men who try to prevent abortions in any way. Politicians making laws about them, protesters harassing women for them, people who discuss abortions with women with the intent of changing their opinion, those are the people I have problems with. I also have problems with women who are anti-abortion, but they at least seem to be more educated about it.
The reason I made my comment was because women have reasons to dismiss some of the opinions of men in abortion discussions. I've heard things like "pregnancy isn't that bad", "why wouldn't you just choose adoption instead", or "women are always acting like pregnancy is such a big deal". Those show an extreme lack of understanding, which is why I think their uneducated opinions don't add anything to a discussion.
I actually applaud men who are pro-choice. Especially if they have reasoning behind it, it shows empathy for others even if they aren't able to understand the situation directly. If you support abortion (I'm just guessing you're male) then I salute you too.
GrandHunterMan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:37:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't get why other guys don't support abortion. Sure, it a life, but we humans kill each other all the time, and it's most often the people who support gun rights that are against abortion.
Nope_______ ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Supporting gun rights and killing people aren't the samr thing.
Same*
Firehawkws7 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why the US is anti-dad and anti-male when it comes to child related issues.
It's ignorant as fuck and selfish as fuck for women to say that.
publicfrog ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:43:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck are you talking about? Because I was talking about abortion. Pregnancy is terrifying, so anti-choice men who spout bullshit about something they'll never experience piss me off to no end.
It's like if I were to say that we should reinstate the draft and not worry about all that silly body armor or veterans benefits. It's an issue that will never directly effect me, so suggesting terrifying things that men 'should' have to go through is bullshit, and the very concept of me saying that would piss you off.
Where did I say anything anti-dad? My entire point was that men shouldn't oppose abortions since they'll never deal with the horrors of pregnancy, that has nothing to do with being anti-dad or anti-male.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:31:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually you did say something anti-dad:
That is absolutely not the case. 99% of guys would very much feel obligated to be a dad. You are pro-abortion - so am I - but to flip the discussion lets not say that the dad shouldn't have an opinion in not allowing an abortion, and say that they should have an opinion in whether the mother does have one.
Lets say a man (who, quite rightly wouldn't leave a child on moral grounds) accidentally gets a woman pregnant. The woman doesn't want an abortion, but the man should get a say against that, as it wouldn't just be the mother's life affected - that seems to be a big gap in your argument.
publicfrog ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:44:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I wasn't clear on what I meant, sorry. What my intention was "If a man doesn't want anything to do with a kid when an abortion isn't an option..."
I do believe men shouldn't be on the hook for kids that they didn't want/never intended. I knew a woman, she had a drunken one night stand with a guy, decided to keep the kid, and is collecting child support. I think that's wrong, they didn't have a relationship, he didn't want the kid, he didn't expect the kid, and now he's forced to give it money for decades. Women shouldn't be forced to care for unwanted kids, neither should men.
If there was a way for a man to prevent an abortion that didn't involve a woman having to carry it, I'd be all for it. If some machine could suck a fetus out and stick it in some sort of meat pocket for a few months and he kept the kid after that, terrific! Unfortunately, parental rights regarding unborn children is a really shitty situation since two people create something together, but only one of them is able to carry/terminate it. I think we probably have pretty similar views, I just didn't express it properly.
Firehawkws7 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, what?
How is pregnancy the same as someone getting shot or unsupported after serving their country?
Roughly only one million women die each year during child birth, WORLD WIDE. That's about 1 in every 141 births. Only 700 of those are in the states, and we're on the high end for 1st world countries. Those are fucking good odds.
Oh, and guess where most of those deaths occur? That's right, third world countries. So if you're not in the horrible conditions of a slum, the odds are EXTREMELY high you and the baby will survive.
To be perfectly honest, the father is more likely to get killed running to the store for his wife's odd craving than her dying during child birth.
Even my wife (who works in the medical field) thinks you're a retarded cunt and part of the feminism problem.
publicfrog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was an example of something that men could relate to that women can't. I will never fear the draft, because I can never be drafted. Men don't fear pregnancy, because they can never become pregnant. See how that works? It's called an analogy and is used to help people understand things, I guess it didn't work on you.
Although I did see the one you used, that one's called a derailment. You focused on one part of one sentence from a previous comment, and completely missed the part where I said "unless they have really good medical intervention". So yes, most of the women who die are in third world countries, which is exactly what I just said, places without good medical intervention.
Are you really this mad that I think women should have access to safe abortions? Because that's really what this all boils down to. Women get annoyed at men talking about how abortions shouldn't happen.
Firehawkws7 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not mad, lady. Just showing you you're full of shit and a feminazi.
rapscallionx ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 01:43:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
oh god, will you stop being so dramatic. Everyone goes through puberty. Reproduction is a biological compulsion and the stereotypical woman with baby fever is a stereotype for a reason. Yes, I will agree that women quite often emotionally hysterical, but that doesn't mean that everyone needs to bend to their every irrational whim.
No one cares what women do with their bodies. People do care about women murdering babies. People should stop hysterics from committing murder. If a woman can be excused for killing a child after it's born (postpartum depression) then she shouldn't be considered in clear enough state to make decisions to end someones life.
you people... you fucking people.. .
blasterhimen ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:00:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A "baby" is already born, as in, outside the uterus. Nobody is "killing babies" through abortion.
rapscallionx ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
killing unborn babies. semantics is your go to argument here?
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:23:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, not semantics. Many people do not believe that life begins at conception. That is why it is permitted to have an abortion up to 26 weeks after conception. Before then, a fetus has no feasible way to survive outside of the womb and effectively is a parasite.
rapscallionx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:44:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mass appeal does not dictate universal truth.
certain siamese twins can't live without it's siblings organs.
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:52 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Mass appeal does, in fact, dictate universal truth when it comes to matters such as this one. Just because you don't like it, doesn't make it non-factual.
rapscallionx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:00 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaactually it doesn't lol... you're still pretty confused.
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:45 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL please tell me what does then.
rapscallionx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:32 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientific_method
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:19 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If everything was scientifically proven there would be no need for morals and ethics. There is no scientific test to determine whether or not abortion is conclusively immoral. Your logic is, once again, flawed.
rapscallionx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:57 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You didn't ask what laws should be based on. You asked what dictates universal truth. The scientific method can be used to determine the consistent application of what we consider moral. You are extremely inconsistent therefore we can pretty safely dismiss your opinion.
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:56 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh please, do tell me how morals can be scientifically proven. This is going to be good.
blasterhimen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:22 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not semantics, it's the fucking law.
Do all miscarried "babies" get a proper burial? Do you have to get a death certificates for miscarriages? Does a fetus count for tax purposes?
You can argue about the ethics of abortion all you want, but you cannot just assume that certain things are "facts," simply because you believe them to be.
I think most pro-lifers are useless wastes of space, so does that mean I can murder them without legal repercussion?
Well, no. My opinion is not fact.
rapscallionx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah taxes, the basis for all good scientific interpretation of human biology... lol
ah, no but I'm sure you'd like to. You seem not to have any qualms about frivolously killing people to satiate your own irrational urges.
GrandHunterMan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:39:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We kill each other all the time. The people who support guns and encourage us to 'defend' ourselves are suddenly the people who go and get all pro-life all of a sudden.
rapscallionx ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Defending yourself is the same as murdering someone? Are you just trying desperately to link me to religious conservatives? Nice try though...
GrandHunterMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:04:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is it murder? They're not even alive yet. It's like saying amputating an arm is murdering. It's just a mass of cells in someone's body.
rapscallionx ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure a fetus is alive lol...
GrandHunterMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who said we were aborting women who are 6 months pregnant?
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it can't live outside of the womb before a certain point (and even then without extreme medical intervention that would not even be wasted on a living, breathing, sentient, fully-functioning human being) and hence is a parasite.
lol.
rapscallionx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:41:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
by your definition, so is a siamese twin.
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:46 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, no, because not all Siamese twins love parasitically off of one another. If you're going to make a counter-example, at least make it a good one.
rapscallionx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:08 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So we're not talking about those twins are we? So it's ok to kill a twin who lives parasitically off the liver of it's twin?
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:08 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it was going to kill the other twin, then absolutely. Yes.
rapscallionx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:45 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ok so if it's not life threatening it should be illegal, yeah? >:)
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:09 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Erm. No. I wasn't talking about your hypothetical siamese twins, I was talking about a fetus that is inside of another living, sentient being who does not have to give up her body to house a parasitic mass of cells that could perhaps be a potential baby.
rapscallionx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:29 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hahaha.... dodge! How does that cognitive dissonance feel?
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:05 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Cognitive dissonance would imply that I hold two opposing views to be true. I don't. You just think I said that because of your confirmation bias. I stuck with my view that both parasitic siamese twins and unwanted children should not be forced to live. I don't think you actually understand anything I have written here.
rapscallionx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:16 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying that it should be legal for a person with a conscious conjoined twin with a dependence on him or her should be allowed to end that person life? At any time. They could be 20 years old and decide "I'm sick of you... I'm getting you cut off so you can die"
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:15 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your analogy was ridiculous from the start, because we are talking about sentient human beings (assumedly). But if one siamese twin was endangering the life of another, it would probably be the choice of the children/their parents to make that decision. Abortion is a whole other playing field. We are not dealing with beings that have cognizance.
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Murder". Actual lol that you think your morals have a place in law and ethics.
rapscallionx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
almost all laws/ethics are derived from morals.
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost all, sure. But not all. Your argument is flawed. If all laws/ethics were derived from morals we would have no legal system and would be in perpetual conflict and ethical limbo.
rapscallionx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what laws aren't rooted in some moral or ethical standard?
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:00 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You misunderstand my statement. Your morals may dictate that abortion is murder. My morals may dictate that it is not. Only one of those can become law.
rapscallionx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:23 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the law is based on someones moral or ethical standard.
Don't tell me what I misunderstood, you're the one who said it. I just quoted you.
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:16 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reread my above comment again. You are deliberately avoiding it because then your argument falls apart. Everyone possesses morals, but there is only one law. Just because you possess the moral that abortion is "wrong" does not make it law. The opposite can also be true. Learn to fucking read.
blasterhimen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:53:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Generally speaking, institutional racism rarely affects white people, and as such, minorities tend to have an issue when people who happen to be white declare that "racism is over" or a "thing of the past," simply because they've never faced it.
So white people are entitled to have an opinion about racism, but really, you can't tell minorities not to be offended.
rapscallionx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:01:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The term institutional racism, as it is used by extremist liberals in the west, is racist towards white people. White people know what it's like to be victims of racism and many of them living in the west know what it's like to live in a country that institutionally supports other races far more than them.
kaizervonmaanen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:25:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is stupid. I am a white religious conservative, not liberal at all. I and pretty much everyone else can see that what you say is plainly wrong. It is way easier for white people to do pretty much anything even with the help that minorities get. We generally have better schools are brought up with more money, white people don't have criminal gangster trash as something to stretch for and look up to. When we do anything "gangster" it's ironic because even criminally minded white people generally know that there is much easier, much more money and less time served if you do financial crime. We use just as much drugs as black people, but we almost never get arrested for it. (being arrested would have ruined our lives) And so on and so forth. If you walk down the street and someone is behind you, people are generally much less worried if there is someone white behind them. We generally do not have to suffer any prejudgement due to our race. And so on and so forth
rapscallionx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:34:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't make you a reputable source. Is this seriously how you try to build credibility?
Not pay for college. Not file a racial discrimination lawsuit. Not garner support or acknowledgment for disadvantages in society.
There are no white schools
What?
Dude are you trolling right now?
Seriously? I'm not violent rapist cis het white male scum?
Not one valid point in this entire post.
blasterhimen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:04:10 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No, but it makes him an example of white people who aren't complete dickholes.
... not even gonna touch that one. Mostly because A) that is simply not true [look up Abigail Fisher] and B) you're an idiot for even saying that. That's essentially it, you're stupid.
If your arguments made any sort of sense, then possibly people would support you. If you're arguing about not being able to blurt out "nigger" at will, while all those black people get to do it, you're a fucking moron. That basically says you're itching to say "nigger" but you don't because people will bitch at you. Think about that. You really want to say "nigger" and you think it's a "violation of your rights" that you can't.
But there are white TOWNS.
That is a statistical fact. No, he's not trolling.
That's a matter of gender, not race.
You're not exactly qualified to determine the validity of arguments, thanks for trying though. But also, keep practicing, 'cause you're terrible at it.
edit: formatting
rapscallionx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:42 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the racist reveals herself.
lol, real classy
oooooh yeah, where are those exactly? I've never been to a town where ethnic minorities were not allowed. I thought we had laws prohibiting such things.
No it's not, it's a shitty survey done on kids trying to act hood. No real evidence proves that.
I feel perfectly free to say nigger, except maybe at work. I choose not to say nigger because nigger is generally an inflammatory word. Nigger, however, means nothing to me. It is neither offensive or provocative. I think it's silliness is perpetuated by hysterics, professional victims, and control freaks.
4-bit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:46:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but unless you're going to pull a degree in child rearing out of your ass that's not really applicable to the situation. Is it?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:59 on November 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is "I'm no pilot, but if I see a burning plane upside down in a tree, I know something fucked up."
4-bit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it takes a quality driver to see the signs that the real problem was with the breaks.
windclimber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be surprised actually. Worked on a car that came from auction, bent about 4 feet in either direction from wrapping around a light pole. Engine still started and ran like a champ.
High_Seas_Pirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I also realized later that this may not apply to cars with engines in the back.
hvidgaard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's a toyota pickup...
UsuallyInappropriate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's... not incorrect.
Gorstag ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:24:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am pretty sure he is not supposed to be smearing the shit from his diaper in his face.
Ontheneedles ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:55:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's how they vaccinate these days. Its organic.
5cBurro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What, are you a shit doctor? I thought not.
shalendar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's better than a shit doctor. He's a SHIT LORD!
Sodium_Cyanide ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:32:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a pilot, but if I see a helicopter in a tree I know someone fucked up
larouqine ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:19:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well of course your opinion is biased, once you have your own kids you can't really be objective anymore."
twenafeesh ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:09:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone has been a kid, so I think everyone is at least a little qualified to have an opinion based on their own personal experience.
I get that this isn't the same as raising kids, but your experiences as a child should also inform your parenting as an adult.
AnMatamaiticeoirRua ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:09:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have any kids of my own, therefore I have never interacted with a child. That's why I don't get an opinion. After all, it's not like anyone has a part in raising younger relatives that aren't their own children.
DrxzzxrD ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:53:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to spot brats in my t-16 back home.
lemoncatparty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:28:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THIS.
I love my best friend. She is a wonderful mother. She is very passionate about her parenting beliefs. I don't really care about the issue at this point in my life because I'm not a parent yet, nor will I be for a while, but heaven forbid if I ever came to her with an opinion. I don't know how many times I've seen her mention on Facebook how people without children can't have an opinion on parenting. After berating a childless common acquaintance for her opposing view, I finally had to tell her that she can't invalidate an opinion just because someone disagrees with you, regardless of if they have experience or not.
I love her, but she really annoyed me with that one.
blasterhimen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:49:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont own a car myself so I cant have any opinions if one hits me. Are I doing this right?
VAPossum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:01:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leave my chair alone.
FluffySharkBird ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:08:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes. I disagree with hitting children because I believe you shouldn't hit people unless you feel you or someone else isn't safe.
"You don't have kids you don't understand."
"Yeah talk to me when you grow up."
"I am unable to understand another person's viewpoint and will blame their character and claim they're wrong" (I may have made this one up but they basically say it)
Like yeah I GET why people hit each other in non-necessary situations. I've wanted to do it too. But I haven't since I was a kid.
I mean you would't hit some old mentally retarded man with the "age" of a 3 year old would you? Then why do it to an actual 3 year old?
blasterhimen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:03:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad beat me and I've only been to jail twice. Don't be a pussy.
FluffySharkBird ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:09:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah I turned out fine.". Really means " I refuse to accept I could have turned out better"
blasterhimen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:09 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was tongue-in-cheek. Sorry you missed that.
FluffySharkBird ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:52 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was agreeing with you.
blasterhimen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:37 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, too drunk to be diplomatic
FluffySharkBird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:07 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think diplomatic is the right word but okay. You made me laugh so this was a win for me
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
at2wells ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, Id say its an appeal to accomplishment likely with a side of argument from authority.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Masters in Social Work, work with babies 0-3. I'm a dude with no kids. I get this at least once a week.
PaulClarkLoadletter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My opinion on children and how to raise them wasn't changed when my son was born. Anybody that says only a parent can understand was simply clueless before they had children.
WaterStoryMark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:29:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And yet, they're perfectly fine with Oprah's advice on both parenting and marriage. Neither, of which, Oprah has been involved with.
Henkjehh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:17:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah as a mother I can spot a brat at 400 yards..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a lifeguard, I can spot them at 300 yards
Vigilante17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can spot a brat further than that. Tit for tat. Swinging a bat. Cat in the hat. Riding my bike with a tires that's flat. I could go on...
yungcoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can take out a brat at 200 yards.
Woyaboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? I don't need to eat a turd to know I don't wanna taste it.
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that people can't have an opinion, but that it only holds a certain weight. I am not an expert on all kids, but I do spend 99% of my time with my kids and I know them better than anyone else. Sometimes having the perspective of someone who isn't as close helps and sometimes it doesn't. I give certain weight to people who work with kids, but don't have them. There are some things that you experience as a parent that you just don't experience if you aren't.
No one knows everything. I don't want ever get to a point where I think I know better than everyone else. I also know that opinions are like assholes. Everyone has them and they usually stink. I may hear what a person says, but it doesn't mean they are necessarily right. Listening to someone's advice doesn't mean I am going to take it 100% of the time.
FortuneCookie313 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, if you don't have kids you don't understand. Sorry.
SillyGirrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It kills me when people aren't obviously aware that they are turning their kids into little assholes.
chellbelle3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And in 18-22 years, I'm going to have to deal with your brat kid in the workplace, so I'm pretty sure I get an opinion!
Marz-_- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a lady with a screaming kid in my store this morning and she said, "I don't know why he screams all the time, I give him everything he wants!"
Razur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try being the kid & giving advice to your parent. Yowch, would not recommend.
Codile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I'm sure there are lots of psychologists who don't have kids; however they do know how to raise one. Sure, they may not have experienco in changing diapers, but they sure know how to reinforce good behavior. (And they'll understand when their child has a mental illness instead of going into denial and refusing to get the child some treatment...)
SteelTheWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So what? I can hit a brat, clean, from 400 yards.
philo-soph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can have an opinion but any advice you might have about parenting is probably worthless.
bizcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend's two brats are the wurst.
chris14020 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I can shoot a brat at 20 paces.
Source: Am George Zimmerman, I shoot everything.
Commence the downvotes.
redtaylor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I get an AMEN?? Your child is obviously actin a fool but I can't say anything or discipline them because I don't have children and thus lack the knowledge of how to raise a respectful and polite person?!? God bless you!*
*In my family, that means "Respectfully, go fuck yourself."
sillyribbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uuuuugh my sister is one of these. I swear when I find out I'm pregnant I'll call her and say "CAN I HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT VACCINATIONS NOW?!?!?!" I've only worked with children my entire goddamn life. I don't want fucking whooping cough or polio. Fuck me though, right?
Hellman109 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just reply sarcastically like "Yeah, Im always needing to ask a dairy farmer if Im out of milk, afterall I dont have milking cows!"
IvanEedle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No scope?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a pilots license but if I see a helicopter in a tree I know someone fucked up.
Vadersballhair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can have an opinion. But if you don't have kids, parents just won't take any notice.
I'm not going to listen to your advice about driving a BMW if you drive a moped.
Ozziw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read a Reddit comment which nailed it completely. It read something like "I may not have a flying certificate, buy if I see a helicopter in a tree, I know someone has screwed up."
CemeteryCat17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol! <3
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know lots about kids, used to be one myself and everything.
Otopython ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The scope doesn't mean shit if they don't stay still long enough to take the shot.
Persiano123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good fkn yard
gerusz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually they don't even have to be in the line-of-sight, you can hear them from across the store.
riraito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would say to them "you don't have a brain and yet you have an opinion on everything"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uhh, I've taken several classes in developmental psych, you probably haven't?
Those mommy types are the worst.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never fucking understood that. It's like people forget that we were all kids once. Maybe it makes them feel special to say they have a super secret understanding that non-parents cannot possibly possess, but the funny thing about parents is how easily they seem to forget what being a child was like. I know so many parents who talk down to their children, who dismiss their ideas, who expect them to understand situations the way adults do. Then, they are baffled when their kids get older and don't want to share anything with them.
If you want to be a cool parent for your kid, you have to actually respect them and attempt to see things from their point of view, starting at a young age. If you never want to listen to them when they're 10, it's no freaking mystery why they won't approach you with their problems when they're 13 (no matter how many times you say, "You can talk to me about anything!" In the back of their minds, they're thinking of all the times you failed to understand them or dismissed their problems in the past.) Adults see a change in their kids when they hit puberty, but the kids still feel like kids. There is no clear dividing line, and if you never took the chance to build a rapport with your child when they were little, you sure as hell won't be getting closer to them once they become teens. This is so obvious, yet as an aunt and a babysitter for multiple families, I've seen this play out again and again.
TL;DR: you may have kids, but if you can't imagine what it was like to be a kid, you don't really know as much about them as you think you do.
kr1351thc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my gosh yes. This time a million. I fully understand that because I don't have a kid, I shouldn't judge how you parent and react to your child too harshly, but a spoiled kid acting badly is obvious to spot, whether your a parent or not... Also girls who say "just because I'm 16 doesn't make me a bad mother". You're not a bad mom, no, but you just made it a whole lot harder to achieve any dreams or goals you had before you popped that baby out...
Antag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got in a huge argument with a coworker about kids and almost this exact phrase was used. Instant rage
zedgrrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Childless Adults do actually remember what it was like to be a child and an adolescent, we can actually empathize with All members of society.
lawyerlady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See this is kinda a "bingo" for parents though, to use CF terminology.
I get that childfree people are more than welcome to an opinion, but please dont give me advice in the following format:
"well my mum/sister/aunt/neighbour does x" usually some reallly obvious shit that youd have to be really mentally deficient to have not tried first.
My kid doesnt eat well. He is really fussy. If i have one more person without kids say to me "my mum just put out food and if we didnt eat we went hungry" great im thrilled your mum found what worked for you. ZERO sarcasm being a parent is tough sometimes and its a sisterhood with other mums, im really genuinely happy when another mum figures out what works for her kid.
But you know how some people learn best by going to class and discussing ideas and some people learn by reading textbooks quietly on their own and some people need big mudmaps to work out concepts pictorially. Everyones different. What works for one person, wont work for others. Kids are the same and they are just trying to learn how to be human, we are trying to figure how best to teach them how to be human. I tried the whole "heres food. He will eat when he is hungry." Guess what... he didnt. He made himself sick, lethargic and dehydrated and thank god my mother is a nurse and picked up on how serious it got really quickly, like within 12 hours) So i had to cave and give him shit i know he will eat to prevent him really doing damage.
So by all means have an opinion, suggest it but know we have probably tried that and remember, like adults are all different, so are kids. So saying "well, my mum used to ..." will probably not help us. Dont impart knowlegde like it will 100% work and we must just not be trying hard enough.
Wahpaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the brit
lawyerlady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excuse me...
I am Australian
Wahpaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:32 on August 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have my sincerest apologies.
websterella ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:53:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I see one.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:03:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I may not be a mother, but I can one up that. I've been a kid.
misterdix ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:45:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ask them how much their kids pay an hour?
Oh you don't get paid?
Not a job.
TornBlueGuy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:55:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I see a helicopter in a tree, I don't need a pilot's license to know somebody fucked up.
[deleted] ยท 454 points ยท Posted at 18:49:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when they try to trump science with experience. For example:
Mother: I never give my kids sugar. Sugar makes kids crazy and causes ADD!
Person: Actually, scientific studies from this source have shown that sugar actually has no effect on-
Mother: I am a mother, I know how to take care of my own children!
No motherfucker. Your anecdotal experience based on confirmation bias doesn't discredit the findings of scientists.
Mayrod ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 20:55:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This actually appeared in a House episode, where Wilson would briefly discuss this with Cuddy's mother. I think the mother said something like "I have not read studies, only raised girls".
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:05:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I was actually thinking about that as I was writing the comment. That woman was a piece of work.
clemoh ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:35:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No motherfucker. Your anecdotal experience based on confirmation bias doesn't discredit the findings of scientists."
Would thing not be great on a t-shirt?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It could be worded a little more eloquently.
adaminc ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:42:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No cunt. Your anecdotal experience based on confirmation bias doesn't discredit the findings by scientists."
Sensorfire ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:56:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nay, boil-brained bilge rat, thy anecdotal experience that doth rely only on confirmation bias discrediteth not the findings of men and women of science.
masshole4life ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:09:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That must be why they're such rotten little shits who torture anyone within 100 yards of a public place.
It's always the indignant know it alls with the most misbehaved spoiled disrespectful brats. But they're mothers so what do I know?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly.
shh_coffee ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 06:25:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the kid has learned from their misinformed parents that sugar causes hyper activity and thus, acts hyper active after eating it because of a placebo effect.
Even more so, the kid might just get excited because they are getting a treat and that's enough to get them going. Your dog does the same thing when you pull out the treat bag.
Just because they might be wrong as to WHY their kid gets excited from the sugary food, does not mean that the hyper active response to eating is not a conditioned reaction.
TL;DR: They might be right for the wrong reasons.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:22:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
100% this. All it takes is a little knowledge of psychology and some critical thinking to realize that. Correlation is not causation.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, this reminds me of when I was in middle school there was a kid who heard that carbohydrates give you energy so anytime we had something like spaghetti for lunch he'd get all hyper active and crazy afterward. Even at the time I knew that wasn't how it worked.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:51:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OTOH, don't buy your kids candy at the movie and expect them to sit still through it.
Source: I'm a father
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:35:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:51:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
manage that shit. Take your kid to the park or indoor bouncy house just before going to a show and give them a slug of food ( grapes grilled cheese and hot dogs, for example) to give them the itis. don't dick it up by giving them a whole bunch of sugary candy. If the kid keeps playing with the spoons and forks at olive garden take them for a walk around the building or go jump in puddles while your waiting for your food.
And don't be mad if you give your kids a Popsicle and they start running around the house wildling out. You can observe a powerful connection between a child behavior and what you feed them.
brainjuice ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:59:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sugar won't keep you awake. Sugar won't make kids hyper. Chocolate might, given the caffeine present. Soda definitely will "dick it up".
cookiewalla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:49:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Youre not wrong but i still cringed reading this
shorelaran ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:28:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So it's the father?
alex20169 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's a lesbian couple?
cara123456789 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:51:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If the sugar/hyper thing isn't true (I believe it isn't) I think it's a placebo effect. Someone should do an experiment to give kids sugar free lollies and some actual lollies and tell the sugar free kids 'lollies make you hyper' and see which group is more hyper
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would be interested in this study if someone did it, and I'd be willing to bet you'd see the same results for both groups.
cara123456789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
really? I think telling the kids they're going to be hyper definitely has a placebo effect. And theres probably the same amount of sugar in other foods but never go crazy then
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There could be other reasons, too. Kids could just be hyper in general and when you give them candy you're looking for it so it's confirmation bias. Or it could be, as another Redditor has said in response to me, that they just get excited because they're being given candy in the first place. It's honestly probably some combination of all 3, and there may be other factors, but all of that is to say that I highly doubt it's because the actual sugar in the candy itself causes kids to be hyper.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always ask people where they went to college, that can tell me most of what I need to know.
MrIosity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry lady, sugar did not cause your child's neurological disorder. The genes he inherited from you did.
sconeTodd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:40:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IMO both are misleading scientific theories are too general/universal and anecdotal evidence is too specific/local.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Both what? I'm not sure what you're trying to say.
sconeTodd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:18:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I said, yeah
misterdix ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get your point but I'm not so sure that's the best example. Sugar really does make kids go Loopy. It's like cocaine for tiny humans. Highly addictive.
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3862244
Seriously why would you use that as your fucking example phrase?
You actually use the term "scientific studies have shownโฆ "
Wow. Embarrassing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find your hostility unnecessary and confusing. Besides, all that link said was that sugar is addictive and causes weight problems and obesity. Those are well established scientific facts. I see nothing in there that has to do with hyperactivity, which was the point of my example.
SPICY_BUTT_MILK ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 17:23:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All I hear is "I'm dumb as bread and I finally found an area where I have a few ideals."
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 18:38:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Itsjack92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so meta
diastereomer ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:38:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like this meta.
CAPS_GET_UPVOTES ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think memes are stupid and unfunny not good ideals
letsgetrandy ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 20:45:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...the hardest job of all โ the job of being a mother."
Gag. Puke. There are literally billions of mothers in this world, all of whom became mothers with no formal training or course of education to qualify them, and most are doing just fine.
And worse yet, this phrase is often uttered by assholes like Oprah, who aren't even mothers and have no qualification to gauge its difficulty.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:49:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking hate this too. I'm a dad and I'd quit my job in a fucking second and stay home to take care of my daughter and cook and clean and change shitty diapers.
digitaldeadstar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually posted something about this earlier today, but I lost my job earlier in the year and became a stay at home dad for my son while my wife works. I love that little dude more than anything but there are certainly days that I'd rather be working. I've done quite a few different jobs varying from cozy-ish indoor jobs to outdoor manual labor jobs, but I'd still easily classify parenting as the hardest thing I've done. The most rewarding, most fun and interesting, but definitely enduring. But I guess it's also a situation where mileage may vary quite a bit.
FluffySharkBird ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:37:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And it's insulting to the parents who probably do have the hardest job in the world. Watching their child be a child forever. It could be their kid has severe physical problems and a normal mind. It could be their kid has Down Syndrome or some rare disorder.
"Oh I'm raising a 12 year old who doesn't really need any help with class and gets a 3.7 GPA. It is SO HARD."
daviddoesthedew ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:00:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't this a Bill Burr bit?
letsgetrandy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:02:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahah. Yeah, the opinion was mine before I heard him say it, but I've certainly adopted some of his wording because that dude really knows how to get the point across. That dude is awesome.
ZombyTed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:34:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just remembered the bit about punching muffins at the street fair, and can't stop cackling.
daviddoesthedew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like Jim Jefferies for that same reason, he's like an Australian clone of Bill Burr haha
letsgetrandy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, he's great too.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:33:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a dad and I have to tell you, if I had to choose between lugging lumber and bags of concrete in the southern sun for hours, or dealing with criminals 50 hours a week, or probably half a dozen of the other shitty jobs I have had; or I hang out in my boxers watching spongebob and eating cheerios with my princess.... I am re-upping on dealing with shitty diapers every single fucking time. Maybe it gets a bit harder down the line, but so far its been a cakewalk in comparison to the soul crushing or physically demanding labor I endured through my 20's.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 23:28:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually most aren't doing such a great job... according to infant mortality rates around the world, incarceration rates, school dropout rates, crime rates. Furthermore, "assholes" like Oprah(Who has literally encouraged billions of people to read and lead a better life, are saying phrases like this because historically speaking the job is one of, if not the most, underappreciated. So tell us more about "asshole" Oprah.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:42:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You pushed a baby out of your vagina, not a PhD."
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:12:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
agentglixxy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every friend of mine that has a child instantly turned into momzilla right after giving birth. It gets worse as time goes on.
I get the messages or phone calls "we don't talk or hang out much anymore. Baby'snamehere misses you!!"
Nah, say YOU missed me. I've only met your baby once. The wealth of parenting knowledge and experience that you shoved down my throat in an hour made me go home and be thankful I only have cats.
sensicle ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 19:26:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Because being a mother is a full time job!"
Except when your kids are: sleeping, watching TV, or playing video games.
XanthippeSkippy ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:27:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well full time doesn't mean 24/7. It's like 40 hours a week, right?
ibbity ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:30:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or at school, or at camp, or staying with grandma for the weekend
Viperbunny ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:38:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My kids sleep for 2 hours or less. That time is used to have a quick lunch and then do laundry, dishes, and whatever else needs to get done. It isn't spent doing nothing. On a typical day I don't even get to rest until 9 or 10 most nights and even that is not gaureented because the kids could need me at any time. My older daughter will soon be giving up her nap and my youngest isn't far behind. Plus, the youngest is teething and does get up in the night, so I don't get much uninterrupted sleep.
And one day the kids will be in school and that may give me some time, but not much. The schools around here expect parents to volunteer in the classroom, and chaperone field trips, etc. Not to mention after school activities. Once the kids are in school my time will also be occupied running errands and doing whatever needs to be done. There is always something.
There are harder jobs out there, but I do a lot. I get maybe an hour or two to myself a day. I engage with my kids and we are always doing something. I don't know where all this time you are talking about exists. It doesn't in my world.
philo-soph ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:24:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel your pain and I only have one. I'd really like her to have a sibling but the thought of having to go through the first year again makes me want to run away. It takes so much work to be a good parent.
twattage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband wants another one but we're both too afraid to do it.
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is hard, but having another was easier than I thought. We knew so much more and had more confidence in our abilities too. My youngest is definitely a more difficult baby. She is very clingy and has a super sonic cry, but I can't imagine life without her. They play together and entertain each other and have such a special bond. Mine are 2.5 and 13 months. It's never a dull moment, that's for sure.
0bazooka0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm having my second in 23 days (scheduled c-section ). I have a 16 year old stepson, a 13 year old stepdaughter and a 2 year old daughter. I hate sleep, money and self esteem apparently. IT'S SO WORTH IT THOUGH! puke
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations! What is this sleep thing you are talking about? I think I have heard of it ;)
0bazooka0 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:26:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stay at home parent here too. Even if the kids are asleep and not doing chores I'm still never "off". My day is a series of small pauses between the next crisis.
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very true!
Taddare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, I hear all this and all I think about is how much easier my grandmother had it raising me compared to a few of my friends whose moms were single working mothers.
Yeah, it's hard. But it could be so much worse that it kind of sounds whiny when every SAHM toots the same horn.
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of us have chips on our shoulder because people look down on us and think we are lazy. That makes us feel the need to explain that it is far from easy. It isn't the hardest job ever, but it does take patience and hard work.
wlee1987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, it's not a job because you don't get paid for it"
The_Brat_Prince ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:33:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those times are the best because we finally have time to scrub the pen and crayon off the walls, do the kids laundry, clean food out of the carpet, put everything they ripped off the shelves and out of their dresser back where it belongs, and clean urine out of the weirdest places because your kid just didn't feel like going on the toilet.
FluffySharkBird ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know after a certain age kids can help with the cleaning. I know we did so my mom never had that complaint about doing everything.
The_Brat_Prince ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:46:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am fully aware of that and cannot wait for that day to come.
FluffySharkBird ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know parents with kids in school and still complain about this stuff. Whatever you do don't teach your kids to clean because that's a bad idea...
Grungemaster ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or at school or day care where they are literally someone else's problem for the entire day.
ibbity ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:28:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Specifically, YOUR kids. Did you know that literally everything you have done since they came out your vagina has been wrong and that they are probably going to end up in jail for life because of that? Not like ME and MY perfect angel who is currently trying to throw your cat out the window!"
LinksMilkBottle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was once a kid. Plus I have excellent memory of my childhood. Therefore, I know all about kids.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly sometimes I wanted to deck these ladies in the forehead. Its like I have been babysitting and helping my mother with my younger siblings longer than you've been diddling your skittle and i dont act like the entitled POC you act like. Just because all i can expel from my body is a turd with the force of a thousand sons, doesnt mean I dont know how to take care of kids. I dare you to bring your crying child near me, I will silence that kid and get them smiling before you can even say "I'm a mother, I know all there is to know about kids"
colbystan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:55:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like saying 'I went on a rollercoaster, I can tell you exactly how they work.'
Sysiphuslove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only use that line when we're talking about puke, shit or blood.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you dare tell me how to raise my child!
ARod527 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, I'm a dog owner, I know all there is to know about dogs.
ZombyTed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And they always have that haircut. That damned, "I want to talk to the manager," haircut.
RobinsEggTea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sister tried to pull this crap. Which was ideal because she knows that our family is loaded with kids so she knows I have tons of experience with our extended families kids and their shit. And I quote, "Its not like I have never seen or touched a baby before nor will they never let me see or touch a baby right until the second I have one of my own. Jesus Christ. I'm not retarded I didn't just pull my opinion out of my ass"
sundae1905 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I know their evil offspring, and they still try to lecture me.
scubadance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially those in their 20s who weren't planning for a child but had sex with some guy and didn't wear a condom.
Oh look at my cloth diaper haul. Look how much I can pump. I'm the best mother ever.
Yeah, okay.
andropogon09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't tell me about the Iranian treaty. I raised five boys!"
lolzergrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not just about raising a family, either.
When teaching a class at a college, you will hear that one phrase spoken by an older student that signals that your entire lecture is about to be derailed.
"As a mother..."
ktappe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A baby coming out of your vagina does not increase your IQ.
ohmygod_my_tinnitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh man. There's one of those on my Facebook now. She's pregnant, and has posted MULTIPLE times, almost verbatim "she doesn't need any fucking advice from anybody" she's also one of those people that posts shit like "I know I'm a crazy bitch", and her dad shares stuff on her page like "share if you know a crazy bitch." Her husband is in the military, and there's a term I learned from a friend in the airforce, she's what's called a dependopotamus. Her family is the reason people still believe in eugenics.
linusrauling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not speaking to you, since this is indeed an annoying phrase, but it seems that the majority of responders are childless and can't seem to understand why parents are not particularly open to their input. For them I have the following suggestion, print your comment out and put it aside in a safe place. If you ever have kids I want to you to do the following: at 3 am when your child who hasn't slept though the night for six months shits themselves, works the diaper off, spreads said shit all over the crib and walls and begins to wail, take a minute to go find that comment, read it aloud to yourself, and congratulate yourself on your excellent parental advice. well fuck it, that's the innernetz
OneADayFlintstones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meanwhile, the child is picking up a cigarette butt and eating it, then she says "it's fine."
Shadow_M3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or people who start statements with "As a mother..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck does reddit have such a hate-on for mothers? It's almost as bad as the hate-on for SJWs.
Oh wait ...
LetMeGDPostAlready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do people actually say that? If so, please slap them in the face. I can't think of any context where anyone even close to being a sane, rational adult would say this and mean it.
flyingpigmonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this so much, I've been working with kids for 8+ years, 70 + kids a day, 6-11 hours a day. Sorry, your five year old doesn't make you an expert.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a lady in my church who is a nanny and she thinks she knows everything about kids. She will lecture parents on how to raise kids and tell them all of her nanny stories, sometimes even if you're not a parent she'll tell her stories.
tibean2992 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a child development major at a junior college, and about 1/3 of the students are middle aged, and I cannot count the amount of times I have almost ripped my hair out with stories like that.
Ontheneedles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother, I don't know shit. I know I do what needs to be done to get my family through the day. I wish I didn't have to sometimes, but I do it.
I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I try not to roll my eyes when people without kids say, "all you need is," or "well you just". Especially when the answer is a spanking. I have tried that a dozen times.
barto5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worse yet is. "I don't have kids but..."
You don't have kids but you're an expert on parenting? Really?
Just STFU.
Cyberhwk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Onion
Mcfea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. Golden vajaina complex.
BorisBC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got four kids, so I am the go to go for kid advice at work. All I tell them though is "well this worked for MY kid..."
Satans__Secretary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes followed by "U WIL CHANGE UR MIND!!11"
Fuck no. I won't.
TheKinkMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
StumpyMcPhuquerson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when they have just one child and try to tell me about my youngest.....joyously unaware that my other three are older than theirs.....and I don't give a shit about their opinion anyway.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother, I know everything and demand that the world conform to my opinions or I will throw the biggest shitfit this country has and ever will see."
PagingDoctorLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine, who's also a mother, recently admitted to and apologized for "parent-shaming" another mom on the playground. Apparently the other mom's kid was being a bully, and this woman brushed it off like "my kid knows how to share, your kid just didn't understand him." In the moment, my friend responded with a firm "no, your child just bullied mine."
I thought it was very big of my friend to not only acknowledge that she had judged another mom for her parenting choices, but also shamed her for it. She explained that she didn't know the every day parenting choices and circumstances that this other woman faced. We all have lapses in judgement, it's how we handle them that matters.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively, people one week into a class who then think they know every fucking thing about it.
machu_pikacchu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't tell me how to raise my kids!"
I'm not telling you how to raise your kids. I'm telling you that you're doing a shit job of it. There's a difference.
masterchief4115 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Oatmeal did a great comic on that http://theoatmeal.com/comics/kids
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the variation: I'm a mother, I know more about how vaccines work than a doctor does. Another mother told me so.
gkiltz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any parent of either gender who says THAT is a P-H-O-O-L-E!!
I learned at least as much from my kid as she did from me, maybe more!!
BobMacActual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is an old aphorism, "the spectator sees more of the game." Applies to more stuff than you'd imagine.
rcgarcia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:59 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pregnant women are smug.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:11 on September 8, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's usually a social network hero mom that says this as well. You know the mom that is constantly posting photos of how amazing of a mother she is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a kid has taught me one thing - I know very little about kids. I thought I was an expert before having my son. Now I just try to get through each day, like most parents.
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 17:32:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard any mother say that - but I will say that any parent knows much more about children and even life to an extent than I do - because I don't have children. If mother's are saying that, then that's a bit much. But I trust that parents know a lot. Experience.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:22:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How old are you exactly? Having children does not equal experience or understanding. If you're a dumb person who has children, you're still a dumb person, the only difference is that you're more likely to spread your own dumb through your children.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 24. You may have a point. It's a spectrum. I tend to trust that the experiences parents go through make them stronger - even if they are poor at handling a new human.
wearwolfnotswearwolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people get experience because they realize they don't know how to handle a kid and start to read up some info about child development and what not. The people who say shit like "I know all about children cause I'm a mother" are not the type though.
It's like if I buy and drive a car without knowing how to drive or fix a car. Just because I figured out how to operate it doesn't mean I somehow know what the fuck I'm doing.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:29:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my wife is 0-6 montessori certified... i guarantee she knows a fuck ton more about children and their development than 99% of parents out there.
but god damn if it doesnt russel my jimmies when she corrects me about little shit i do or say 'wrong' when it comes to raising our daughter.
neutron1 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate women too
[deleted] ยท 5514 points ยท Posted at 15:43:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That cashier won't give me a discount."
No shit. Thats not his/her job.
backstept ยท 5228 points ยท Posted at 16:52:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Cashier "Sorry, it's not scanning."
Customer "MUST BE FREE LOLOLOL"
Cashier (I hope you accidentally mix ammonia and bleach the next time you're cleaning that toilet where you dump all your good ideas.)
[and I meant 'ideas' not 'ideals' so stop trying to fix it for me]
dglane ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 18:54:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I knew I was a loser but this gives me more self-awareness of that painful fact as I have been this customer many times. Not feeling good about this lesson learned but I sure won't make this lame joke again. :-(
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 02:11:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
UndeadBread ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 03:32:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've recently noticed how common the latter is. It's amazing how pissed people get when the cashier asks for their ID. People, this is the case for almost every store in California. There are signs posted all over saying that you will be carded for cigarettes and alcohol no matter how old you look. Yes, we can all see that you're older than the Crypt Keeper, but they need to scan your card so they don't risk getting fired. Some registers won't even let the sale go through without it. Maybe keep your ID in your wallet like everyone else, especially when you clearly drove here!
Sorry.
Doctor_of_Recreation ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:26:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't apologize, it's fucking ridiculous.
dinocheese ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:26:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. This guy comes into where I work and wanted cigarettes and he looked pretty young so I asked him for Id. He got really mad and left? Then he comes in a few weeks later and I ask him for Id and my manager was there so he goes to her you know how old I am. So I had to serve him. Another time he came in saw that I was in the tills went and found the manager on the shop floor cos "that girl doesn't know how old I am". Well maybe I would. .If I saw some id! !!???
Anyway he came in the other day and a new guy served him and he asked for his id and he did the that manager knows how old I am going again.
Why doesn't he just bring his id? He has a car so he obv has a licence? I don't kick up a fuss and I always get id'd.
Tldr; I hate people
MyNameIsSkittles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If he doesn't have ID you do not have to serve him, simple as that. Manager or no manager present... most places have that law.
famousninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember one day I was carded trying to buy cigarette papers. That was sheer frustration.
thepeopleshero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:13:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even still it takes like 5 seconds total
famousninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I don't have a driver's license and I'm sure as hell not carrying around my passport everywhere I go.
thepeopleshero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
umm arnt you supposed to carry even a state ID on you?
famousninja ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:43:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus christ, what sorta police state do you live in?
LAZYGODZILLA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1 down every other motherfucking person to go.
Prisondawg ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:06:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as a cashier I appreciate your new awareness and I hope you spread the word. I hear this everyday and have to fake laugh every time.
funbob1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:27:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, the fake laugh vindicates them! Just look at them like they never said a word, then continue your job.
Prisondawg ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:32:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard this joke many times. Enough to to do some science with it. There are a few ways of handling it. Each results in me feeling like a dick except the fake laugh. I'm happy so long as my customer is happy. It's worth it for me to keep living the lie.
blasterhimen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:47:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know why? 'Cause you're not a dick like the OP. "Someone is making meaningless conversation with me, you know, treating me like a person instead of like a peasant. The nerve of those assholes!"
TomTao ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We appreciate customers like you who do it good naturedly and just aren't aware. We know that you don't realize how it comes off. We just can't tell you. Doing so risks us getting in trouble because you might be one of those customers who likes to pitch a fit. It's the assholes that do it after they've already been acting like a jackass and as a way to be an even bigger jackass that really piss us off.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So many different ones for different professions though. I was pizza delivery for a while and always got things like "That's for me!" When it clearly wasn't. Or, "You can give that to me if they don't answer." No, I can't. Just let me do my job... If it's the first thing that comes to mind, I have already heard it 10 times that day. You aren't being clever.
rcrumbcake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:53:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now that you learned the error of your ways, the healing can begin.
Minimoose91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:21:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes the best lessons in life make you feel like crap. Cuz you're like wow, I feel like crap. And that makes me sad. And I don't want to feel like sad crap again. So you actively avoid that, and no longer feel like sad crap. Instead you go man, leave it to me to find the one that doesn't scan. Sorry about that. How's your day going? And sometimes, they'll proceed to tell you their whole life story. All of it. Every. Detail. But they feel better. They no longer feel like a faceless walmart/target/corporation/store sign. They feel like a human. And while you still have to wait for them to price check/grab another/do whatever, you feel good, because you made someone else feel good, and you don't feel like sad crap. Good work!
bonitabro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay when the nice customers make corny jokes :). However when you handed me 23 coupons and make that joke when the 15 cent off coupon isn't scanning because of expiry or whatever reason. Then it's like really? You be you bud, you're fine =)
Sock_Ninja ยท 981 points ยท Posted at 18:16:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I say a variation of this.... I didn't realize people were annoyed at it. sigh Premature dad-humor strikes again.
Edit: My highest upvoted comment is about my own lame dad jokes. I don't know how to take this.
Also, TIL something I do to try to make people happy has literally the exact opposite effect.
Edit 2: Apparently the first part of my first edit is something that people hate. I apologize and repent. I leave it now only as a negative example to others.
backstept ยท 1108 points ยท Posted at 19:23:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's one of those things that can legitimately feel original and clever, but for people who hear it all the time it's maddening.
nootrino ยท 169 points ยท Posted at 19:57:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Former cashier here. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that phrase when something wouldn't scan, I'd have a nicer gaming PC.
[deleted] ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 20:00:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, while delivering pizza, all the times I heard some variant of "If they don't want it, I'll take it off your hands - hyuk hyuk!"
pyreon ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 00:10:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Occasionally if the customer doesn't come down/answer the phone to pick up the pizza, my manager lets me sell the pizza to anyone passing by for whatever cash they have on them at the time. I've sold 3 pizzas like this.
LikeASimile ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 02:14:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shortly after I had started college, some new friends and me were walking down the street near our dorm getting stoned. One of them said, "I wish we had some pizza right now", and I shit you not, a dominos car pulled over less than 30 seconds later and said "hey you guys want some pizza for cheap?". It was incredible, unbelievable, and magical. Thank you for also being someone who has made at least 3 pizza dreams come true.
Banakai1 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:18:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I've seen that porno
RelativetoZero ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:36:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similar occurrence while tripping on shrooms in the woods with 3 other friends. We were swimming / splash fighting in a spring for awhile when out of nowhere one of my buddies says "this seems kinda gay." Kinda messed up the vibe. Not 2 minutes later, two gorgeous girls came running down the trail in skimpy workout clothes. They stopped by the spring we were sitting in and one of them pushed the other in and they proceeded to water wrestle each other for a few minutes. Lucky we were past the point of acting really weird, so they talked to us for a bit without one of us saying something really nonsensical then left to continue their run along the loop we were camping on. We then lost our shit on how the universe saved us from a weird come down.
TheDesktopNinja ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:07:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd hate to be the sucker that has like $100 in my pocket when you come along!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I delivered pizza, we got to eat the pizzas the no-shows left behind. Free dinner!
1mikeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to score cheap pizzas like this all the time in school. Hanging out in the seating area in front of the largest form came with some nice perks.
iamalwaysrelevant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:18:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people think they are all special snow flakes with original ideas.
ComradeRoe ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:30:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Present company included, right?
FatBird17 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:16:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...says the guy who used the phrase "special snow flake". Oh, the ironing.
spiralbatross ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:36:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
did you forget to do your laundry or something?
FatBird17 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:41:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost done with it.
mentholjesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i using words that have been used before in this comment section. group think is ruining my life
Kell08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's a common expression, not a common attempt at humor.
MF10R3R ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:18:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I had a dollar for every time I heard it, I'd be able to pay off my student debt!
HAH, who am I kidding? :(
TheDesktopNinja ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:07:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been cashiering for ~8 years now. I'd probably be retired by now if I had a dollar for every time -_-
ThatGuyGetsIt ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you no ambition?
TheDesktopNinja ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:28:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ambition isn't enough, buddy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a coffee shop. "I'd like a large cheeseburger lololololololol"
Captain_Gnardog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Former cashier as well. If I got paid that way, I could have retired before 30.
RampagingKittens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I had a dollar for every time I heard 'if i had a dollar...' phrase, I'd have a nice gaming PC, too!
nootrino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Touchรฉ
____NotPutin____ ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 23:26:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet Hawaiians thought "getting lei-d" was hilarious when the first person said it with a big stupid grin on his face.
djn808 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:04:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing that will get you now if you come here is serious stink eye. Go ahead, try it. I just sigh...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:46:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People still say it and think it's funny. Tourists say it all the time.
mitch_fwbsbpt ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:32:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a grocery store, and part of it was that we would put the groceries in their car after they pull up (mostly old people used this service). And this one guy made me laugh so much. I said the same thing I always did "Hi! Where would you like these at?" And I was always ready for "trunk is fine, thanks" or "just in the backseat, thanks". This dude straight faces the shit out of this and says "oh, just on the roof". Then looks at me as I'm still registering yhat this was a joke and he cracks up and then I started just dying. It threw me off not being treated like a robot for once!
Unfortunately I guess he did this joke to everyone... but still funny!
Sabalabajaybum ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:48:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had one customer that was like sour shoes from Howard Stern. He'd randomly talk to himself in a high pitched comical voice. He came in with his wife so I asked her what it was like living with such a character. She asked me what I meant as if she wasn't familiar with his behavior. The dude in question just looked at me sweetly like a parrot that refuses to talk. I think they were trolling me but still not sure.
famousninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've spent my time in service roles, and I've heard every single one of the crummy dad jokes. I don't know where it started, but I used to lead into one of the old groaners, but then veer off suddenly just as I got to the punchline just to throw the cashier off.
Item doesn't scan.
"Not scanning? That means that the label is probably crinkled from being at the bottom of the trolley. Sorry about that."
Considering deadpanning is second nature to me, I started to get some smirks. Nowadays I pull some insane shit out of left field just to see if I can get a giggle out of the cashier.
For_Teh_Lurks ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:40:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm.
At my old job (an old family owned restaurant), we had a sign that said "Hostess will seat you", a leftover from times when men weren't allowed to work out front. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I heard "You don't look like a hostess to me!" or some variation of it. And you know, the sign itself didn't bother me at all. I didn't give two shits that it said hostess and I'm not female. But I wanted to fucking murder everyone that made that exact same joke.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:49:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
For_Teh_Lurks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It got to a point where I would just say "Yep! How many do you have?" and pretty much skim right over their little joke. It was kind of funny the first time, and after three years of it I was ready to start gutting customers.
bigrustledjimmies ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:13:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny as, though I can imagine you rolling your eyes and being like ha ha
Dopebuttswagchiller ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:13:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As what??? What is it as funny as???
ender323 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"as" stands for "as shit", just like "af" is "as fuck".
Weird slang I know.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You hear this a lot in the UK
"that's funny as"
Or my particular least favourite:
"end of"
Dopebuttswagchiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha yeah I was just messing around with him. It does seem a little weird compared to af.
EmmerMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Should have worn a black tie with a curly white line down it.
Avalon_00 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:04:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a cashier right now. Worse than this is when I can't get something to scan and the person tells me the price of the merchandise. I don't care how much it costs motherfucker I just want to be able to charge you for it.
aYoshWaffle ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 22:09:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I've never understood this, I was a cashier for a while, the whole job was pretty much the same meaningless small talk on repeat. Why would someone saying this bother you? They're just killing time while you're doing your job. In fact it's helpful because then you don't have to think of something to say you can just laugh and say, "I'm sorry I don't think it works that way" or something to that effect. It's just small talk, do you get angry when people talk to you about the weather too?
edit: I have no idea where you all are finding these people who actually expect things to be free, from what I encountered it was always more of a dad joke than anything
Greplington ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:02:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the customer. A LOT of them say it and actually expect that you'll say "yeah ok you can have it for free" then get the shits when you tell them it doesn't work that way. At least they do where I work, anyway.
I always respond with "actually store policy is that anything which doesn't scan is charged at a default price of ($50 or $100 or $1000 - random amount much higher than the value of the item) is that ok?"
The ones that are joking just laugh. The ones that genuinely expect the item for free get the shits and start arguing.
Kirstie_Ally ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:17:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I gotta say. I've worked at several cashier jobs and I've never had someone that actually expected free shit. I've heard it probably over 300 times.
Sabalabajaybum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Walgreen's and people would ask for discounts on already heavily discounted items. They'd get pissed they had to pay fifteen cents for a chocolate santa instead of seven cents. Also some people were obsessed with how much a discounted item originally sold for in a creepy way. The register was old and I didn't know. I got the impression A LOT of customers were impulse buying cheap clearance items for the thrill of spending money.
Kirstie_Ally ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:15:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely agree that a lot people are self entitled, and petty. The discount hounding and stuff like that. To clarify though, when i said
I was referring to someone saying "oh i guess it's free then" when something was stubbornly not scanning. like any fucking hostess product.
UnderlyingTissues ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Um, yeah, no.....
dan99990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, your store has some dumbass customers, lol.
Greplington ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Yes we do.
funny-irish-guy ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 00:40:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the people that you (in their eyes) are ripping off get pissed? Say it ain't so.
Greplington ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:34:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes in customer service it's all about the little victories...
I don't ACTUALLY charge them an inflated price - I joke about it and then get someone to find the correct price.
funny-irish-guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I know
My point was if they're dense enough to actually want free stuff, they're probably to dumb to get the joke!
Kirstie_Ally ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree completely. I feel like the people getting annoyed by it are just annoyed by everything probably. I'm on autopilot when I'm ringing people out, and they make my job easier, and more pleasant. They're just trying to bullshit with you in a friendly manner. I can't imagine hearing someone say something along those lines and thinking to myself "Jesus Christ, get some original content already. You think your funny? Have an original thought." there's cynical, and there's hopelessly cynical.
handtohandwombat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me it has nothing to do with the repetitiveness, but the people who say this are often shitty people. Screaming at their kids, poor hygiene, always trying to "rip someone off before they rip off me!" and generally going through life with a shitty work ethic. Things cost money dude, if you can't afford it you shouldn't be here. Don't be a cheap asshole, you're making me uncomfortable.
Side note: I just realized that I'm probably this way because though we grew up really poor, me ma drilled it into us that being cheap and classless has nothing to do with how much money you have, and that no discount, freebie or charity is worth your self respect.
Tigrisandor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:22:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been a cashier for 7 years. It's really rude to make a joke about somethinh that could the employee fired. Personally, I hate when people joke about printing a bill at their house as I check them. They are both crimes and ones I am very used to getting law enforcement involved.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:06:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should look at a different career if that upsets you.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:58:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was a cashier when I had no choice. 95% of the time being cashier is not a "career"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
95% of the time if you're a cashier for 7 years that's the only career you're going to have.
Tigrisandor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:44 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well considering I've worked here 7 years and have heard the joke from 2 or 3 people almost every single day, it gets old. You can't stop people from making the jokes, but how many times can you hear a joke before it gets annoying?
Jynx12 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:06:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Lord_Rapunzel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:40:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From Seattle, answer is yes. Smalltalk feels weird and fake.
shroomsonpizza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:00:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I just talk about random shit happening to me that day. Might still be boring, but at least they won't go insane.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:56:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exept that's it's not original when everybody says it.
ColonelRuffhouse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:50:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's annoying because I have no idea how to respond without offending the customer. I can only fake-laugh so many times and I can't really say "No the barcode is being a little bitch and won't scan."
Koffeeboy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:10:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is the case for "run forest run!", as a runner I have heard this so many times that i'm surprised when i don't hear this on a run.
backstept ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
kids used to taunt me with that when school got out, but I just wanted to run home and watch Spider-Man
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:16:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I, former manager at a women's clothing store, was at the grocery store with my boyfriend and our apples didn't scan. He said those dreaded words which caused me to wilt from embarrassment and shame and irritation. But then the cashier just said, "I think you're right" and put them in the bag. I was so ready to make fun of him and that cashier ruined it.
HeartofSaturdayNight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit. I'm sorry about that. I won't do it anymore.
AnotherThroneAway ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's one of those things that can legitimately feel original and clever, but for people who hear it all the time it's maddening.
RideTheWindForever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, put your head through a wall maddening. Former retail employee and few things could make me crazier.
guilty_bystander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a sublime way of saying "It's stupid to ever say that."
matito29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you've ever heard your joke said before, the cashier has heard it a thousand times.
ujelly_fish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But in reality it's neither of those things.
garbage_bag_trees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can understand that. I used to work a job where I was sometimes pressure washing the sidewalk running alongside a parking lot. Every time, without fail, I would get at least one customer or passerby jokingly asking for me to wash their car next.
IAMATiger-AskMeStuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like being asked if I have 'free samples' when transporting cash.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a police officer, mine is when someone points to their buddy and says "he's the one, he did it!" I try to be polite but man I hear that several times a day and its obnoxious.
roflzzzzinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine meeting someone named Sherlock. Every single person named Sherlock gets the "have you ever heard the quote "Elementary, my dear Watson"? huehuehue"
I mean, personally if I meet someone named Sherlock that's automatically what I go to
digitaldeadstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I used to strip & wax floors, I was constantly told "You missed a spot!" It never really bothered me, just more or less amazed me how many people think they're being new and original with it.
Kalkaline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but if you hear it enough you eventually get over it and fake a laugh/smile and just go on with your day.
TheLuckman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a restaurant with a great view. All day long I hear "You ever get sick of the view?". No motherfucker, only that question. I die a little inside every time I hear it....
ProxySpam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing for my job as a valet is people saying "Oh it's the black stingray, Porsche, jaguar, Maserati, Phantom." Motherfucker if you were driving a Phantom it would be parked under the canopy and my boss would run over with the keys as soon as he saw you walk outside. Take your piece of shit Equinox/Versa/ Chrysler 300 and go.
TheDavidoff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same as when someone ask for a lottery ticket, but tells you to make sure it is the 'lucky' one. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Creabhain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once met a girl named Shirley and said "Shirley you are not serious". She gave me a murderous look. Cockblocked myself. With my mouth. Smooth MF.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:55:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had one of these. I worked in the produce department and every time I was putting a box of something on the shelf someone would take some and say, "Oh I'll just help you out here." Then laugh their heads off at their cleverness. Every. Single. Day.
loli123 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:23:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I delivered Jimmy Johns (freaky fast subs) for over a year and a half and heard "wow that was freaky fast" at least 10 times a day... I always had to chuckle too, then repeat it back to them, per the store rules.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:04:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok ill just stick to, "why isnt this scanning, get your manager you useless nothing."
Shamadamun ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only way to deal with it is to come up with some amazing things to say back! Might as well make it fun instead of chocking it as another bad joke, eh?
iamalwaysrelevant ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 20:15:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when you say a joke about someone's name, profession, situation, social standing, or anything that they are stuck with try to imagine how often they must hear that joke and how irritating it is to hear it over and over again. I was a waiter for a few years and the jokes I heard that people thought were original just made my day drag on.
what's worse is they look at you and wonder why you're not laughing with them.
swimfast58 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:16:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I played golf with a guy called Wei, pronounced 'way'. It was so hard not to make jokes like "that's the Wei!" for 4 hours but I knew that he would have heard all of them far too often.
Doctor_of_Recreation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, I have a friend named Nue. The first time I met her at work, I was like, "Hey! I'm doctor_of_recreation!" And she goes, "Hi, I'm Nue." "Welcome! What's your name?" "It's Nue." "Oh. Um... I'm sorry, I'm an idiot."
I so badly want to call her Newbie sometimes but I just know it must be an old joke to her.
NardsOfDoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Last name is Anderson. So many fucking Matrix jokes.
melatron ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:26:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me, it's always something about "cutting the cheese" or being cheesy. I'm a cheesy cheese cutter. I still manage to politely chuckle. I'm not smeyesing, though.
GraharG ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:00:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
just remember the first thing you think to say in a situation is the first thing pretty much everyone thinks. They heard that shit a thousand times before
Benblishem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like posting a funny comment on Reddit. When you check, someone has almost always said it first.
SofaKingCrizpy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:37:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like posting a funny comment on Reddi.... aww shucks
IthinkImnutz ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:50:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sad truth is pretty much any joke you can come up with to tell to a cashier or waiter is something they have heard dozens and dozens of times before. If you really want to make their day then be polite, understanding that things don't always go smoothly and understand that they have very little authority to change anything.
QuasarSandwich ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:01:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And, sexually harass and/or grope them. They love that shit.
Foibles5318 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:36:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they also love it when you get SUPER PISSED that they're not interested
QuasarSandwich ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:31:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Adding in phrases like "you should be flattered!" or "oh, lighten up you fucking prude!" wins you extra Brownie points.
CoarseCourse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This applies to pretty much anyone in a service industry. People get so disrespectful because a security guard won't allow them backstage. It's their job, what exactly do you want them to do? Hell, I even have a working pass, but if the artist wants the area shut down, that's what they get.
The guard apologized after the lockdown was cleared, I shook his hand and told him why? He didn't do anything wrong.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:27:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked a checkout when I was younger. The joke itself isn't too bad. It's just that checkout work makes you realise how unoriginal most people are. When you've worked a year of checkout for a year and have heard "it must be free" from at least fifty different customers, each one standing there expecting you to laugh or smile at their joke, it gets old really quick. You start wondering if they all thought of it themselves. Is it the obvious joke that most people spot. Or are these jokes are just out there, like a virus in the minds of people. Perhaps passed on from father to son. Overheard once while standing in a queue, stored away subconsciously for future use.
I was probably over thinking it. But there's nothing better to do on checkout. It's honestly some of the most mind numbing lay boring work available. But it was valuable experience for a surly and self centred teenager like I was. Forces you to interact, and forces you to be polite to strangers. Life skills.
Sorry for the rant Mr Dad jokes, I'm stoned as tits right now
ErnestScaredStupid ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:52:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny the first time you hear it. Then the second time you smile and pretend to laugh. The third time you hear it, you're wishing the person who said it would get hit by a bus upon leaving the store.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the 200th time?
BigDaddyDelish ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:11:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, I love dad jokes but most of the time when working with service employees, they don't think it's funny. After working as a waiter, that shit gets old quick.
No. It's pronounced fah-hee-ta. Not fagita. You aren't being funny. Nobody is impressed.
Kyddeath ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:27:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I love the fagitas, and the creeps most places make
GhostlyPrototype ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:33:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a grocery store cashier for 5 years. I'd hear a "variation" of that joke almost every time something doesn't scan.
Or better yet, the mandatory question we're required to ask "Did you find everything you were looking for?". "Yes" -pauses for dramatic effect- "And more!" HAHAHAHAHA. Hearing that one a couple dozens of times every shift without fail gets old really fast.
reverendsteveii ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:16:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We in the public service industry love a joke. We really do. You should hear the ones we tell about you. That being said, we ask each of you budding Henny Youngmans to answer two questions before you offer us a joke:
1) Are you unsubtly using the joke to demean me or place yourself above me in the power structure? (ie "Well, there goes your tip! LOL!")
2) Is this the kind of thing your grandfather used to find riotously funny after 3 cans of Old German? (ie "Can I get you anything else?" "Yeah, a million dollars would be great! LOLOLOLOLOLOL! Hey Bernice! Bernice! Hey Bernie! I told him to get us a million dollars! He doesn't even have a million dollars! I'm a sharp one, I am!")
If the answer to either of these questions is either "yes" or "maybe", then your only course of action is what samurai referred to as "the honorable way".
DalekBen ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:12:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sudoku?
Kyddeath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ask how much is 1.5% of the bill after leaving 20%. Barely leave less then 15% unless the service was horrible
macsb ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:03:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, u/backstept is just filled with contempt for customers.
MonocleCats ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:32:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly never cared when people made this joke when I was a cashier. It's really not as big a deal as people make it out to be.
anewdm ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:25:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For real, I work in retail and I just see it as people showing they aren't annoyed by the mild inconvenience
atsu333 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:45:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of store? I feel like that could make a difference. For me, it was Wal-Mart, where at least 50% of the customers are constantly trying to screw over the company to save a couple bucks. When people said that to me, I didn't respond, because it was very possible that they meant it, and I wasn't going to acknowledge that.
I've seen customers start big fights over smaller things.
MonocleCats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A large department store chain
liber_nihilus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Walmart deserves to get screwed over. They treat their employees like shit, and they funnel their profits offshore to avoid paying taxes. They are literally sucking dollars out of the economy to make their upper eschelon richer. I don't usually steal from businesses, but wal mart is the exception. I make sure to rip them off at every conceivable opportunity. They embody the greed and corruption consuming american culture.
atsu333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But by being a dick to the employees there, you're doing nothing. You won't get any special discounts or anything. If you're being a dick you might just be refused service. As far as just plain stealing... Meh.
Vincent__Vega ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:52:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The nerve of some people. Trying to make light-hearted small talk, such assholes.
Calamanation ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:56:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know fuck them
BuffyCreepireSlayer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a cashier it heard this every day, multiple times a day. pls set us free
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband does this as well....I cringe every time. :-/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Make him stop
maleia ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:26:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having worked a lot of retail jobs, I simply would divorce someone that demeaned other retail workers like that without stopping.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't realize it was demeaning. I never even thought about it that way. It's just flat out annoying to hear the same jokes all the time. I worked in fast food a few years ago and heard the same jokes repeatedly.
wesleywyndamprice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a similar vein if you are somewhere that has you pull tickets. If you are the only person there and the person at the counter waves you over they've heard every joke about pulling a ticket you can come up with.
Youreprobablygay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao
typhyr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Knowing you're a dad is 90% of the battle.
kazog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know you mean well... but anyone working is some form of retail/restaurant heard that at least 5 times. And by that I mean 5 times in the last hour.
Plz refrain from making this kind of joke. We still appreciate you.
Dyne_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the next time someone checks one of your 50 or 100 dollar bills with a counterfeit marker, don't respond with "Careful, the ink's still wet!" It's overused, and my face hurts from fake smiling.
Dusclops_in_Bape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the least original thing ever stop doing jt
nogoodliar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's important to remember that any joke specific to a profession has probably been told to them 1000 times. I always apologize after and ask how often they hear it.
NothingExtra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah as a cashier I just feel super awkward when someone says it cause I can't tell if they are being serious and I can't just give something away for free
I_PACE_RATS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you work at a grocery store, nothing is funny or original anymore. It's not your fault.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I lie and say that the tag said a slightly lower price than what I remember. Works about 10% of the time, they just punch in the price I suggest.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I donno. That kind of thing never bothered me when I was a cashier. It was nice when someone acted like I was a real person, even if their humor was corny or unoriginal. If you get that pissed about someone making a corny overused joke, I doubt the joke is the problem. That said, yeah it's a pretty old joke that should be retired.
OogieBoogie1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do too :(
awkwardIRL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't let the salty ruin your fun
utvgjy6gy54v ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If an employee is loading something heavy you just bought into your car don't ask them if they're going to come home with you and help unload it.
Crivens1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually respond, "It's priceless." Which in my high-end workplace it probably is. As a dad, you could jump directly to this version, fulfill your dad-joke needs, and give the cashier a little break from the monotony.
Fwizzle45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It just kind of awkward honestly. I always give them one of those fake little "he he" laughs.
peanutbummy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't dad humor.
Because dad humor is humor.
sanfrancisco69er ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be a cashier for a long time and the first few times you hear it it's not so bad, but you hear it at least 10 times a day, every day.
i_shud_b_studying ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your edit is another thing people in this thread hate. Don't do it. If u get upvoted, accept it silently.
GRXVES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that annoying I always laugh at customers that do this because it's usually a joke.. But there are some customers (older Italian/Greek men and women mostly) that fully mean it, or ask about a discount about 5 different times throughout the transaction, as if I, a measly sales assistant has that kind of authority to just hand out discounts willy nilly.
ghostwarrior369 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a cashier, if u say it as a joke, it's fine. I'll laugh. I hear it all the time, sure, but it's said in a fun spirit and it shows you have a sense of humor. Even if I'm not laughing at the joke, I'm laughing with you because you are an enjoyable person.
bigmansam45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's fine. It gives the cashier a moment to work out what the fuck to do and let's them know you are going to get pissy at them for the slight delay.
flustard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a grocery store cashier, and to be honest, it's not that bad. You're clearly just making a joke and trying to be friendly, so even though I've probably heard it 5 times already that day, I'm not mad that someone made a joke.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you say it to some one who is obviously on day one of being a cashier then that's fine. By day two you've heard it at least a dozen times.
ImpoverishedYorick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People in retail literally hear this all goddamn day long. It's low-hanging fruit.
not_a_throwaway24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You also did the "Edit:" thing someone in the comments above hates, too. We should all just give up!
brightside03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is it that you actually say?
Sajun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know what? I never realized that on the other end of the counter when I did retail that the other person may have realized what a shit job I had and just tried to make my day a little better (even if unintentionally it had other consequences).
Thanks Sock_Ninja. At least you're trying to make the world a little bit of a better place.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only annoying because the cashier hears it all the time. I remember I used to wait for someone to say it to me when that happened. And hearing it over and over mixed with the notion that the customer actually invented that joke is what drove me crazy. Am I supposed to laugh? I tried, I forced a smile at least. Just enough so it wasn't awkward.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I'd much rather deal with a 1000 people doing that stupid joke than with the one person who is actually demanding it should be free. While hearing that joke is a little bit annoying, at least you are trying to be funny and friendly.
BuoyantTrain37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically any joke about the minimum wage job a person is doing for hours every day is going to be annoying.
Macabee721 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep this, and also when the price rings up as some arbitrary year like 19.29 and the customer is like, "That was a good year!" No it wasn't bitch! That was the start of the Great Depression!
ActionScripter9109 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you not see the comment about this? You're apparently really good at saying things that annoy people!
dirtmerchant1980 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cashier here, you're the reason I'm going to have that brain anurism one day.
SnickSnacks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't put that edit... ._.
naricstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with dads jokes is that there are a lot of dads ... and they aren't the only people repeating the same stupid joke to someone just trying to do their job.
Kirasy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope that was intentional...
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3gljgr/what_is_a_phrase_that_makes_you_instantly_dislike/ctzcm71
Guerillagreasemonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On that note, dont say "No bills thanks" to your postman.
TheLuckman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You also did another thing that makes me instantly not like you...
"EDIT: My highest rated comment is about...."
Nobody gives a shit what your highest rated comment is or what it's about.
sora825 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every cashier hates you.
RonWisely ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your edit is also an example of one of top things commented in this thread that people hate.
HamboyJones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm down with it. Keep the joke alive.
looeeyeah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep doing it. When I ised to work in a super market I'd hear it everyday. And everyday Id laugh.
The customer is doing it to be polite and try to make me laugh. So I'll be polite back.
Fuck those people who can't return the courtesy.
Glewisguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not your fault, we forgive you.
But seriously we serve hundreds of people per day and to hear "it must be free then" "I'm just gonna count out all of my change" (that one is a good one, hold the queue up please no one has any plans today) and my all time favourite "because I've bought a few of these is there any sort of discount you can give me?"
No. No I cannot just authorise your discount because you bought 4 bags of chocolate fucking riche. Would you walk into ASDA and ask for discount because you bought 6 packets of crisps even though they are neatly packed in a multipack?!
Just buy your fucking stuff, remember your pleases and thank yous and I will wish you a nice evening as with everyone!
PS: this rant wasn't aimed at you, OP. Customers are just some of the most annoying people ever :)
Sock_Ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only time I have ever asked for a bulk discount was for an entire 400 ft spool of paracord from home depot. All other spools of rope/cordage had a discount price from the per foot, and I didn't see one for paracord. I asked the cashier if I might have missed it, and he shrugged and gave me one anyway.
Glewisguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By all means ask when you bulk order something. But generally this is the experience I have in my job (Thorntons the UK chocolatier):
I am not authorised to give discounts apart from ones my manager or head office have provided.
If you ask for a discount the only people to organise it are my manager or assistant manager
Generally you will have to buy bulk of at least ยฃ150 for her to even consider it. I'm pretty sure company policy is either 150 or 1000, I can't remember which.
Aesop4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That edit is a phrase that makes me hate people instantly
Sock_Ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The first part of the first edit?
Aesop4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Also "edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger!" Infuriates me to no end
Sock_Ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does the thanking for gold make you mad? To me it just seems polite.
Aesop4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:59 on August 28, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because everyone says it and it can ruin a funny comment. Like you could just pm the person if you know who gilded you and if it's anonymous they know you're grateful. No one's upset to get gold.
80Eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you finish eating at a restaurant do you also say "oh we didn't bring any money so ***** here will have to go in the back and wash dishes! YUK YUK YUK!" ?
Sock_Ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That feels like forcing a joke. I guess I say what I normally say as a way of acknowledging the issue in a lighthearted manner, so the cashier knows I understand there is an issue and I'm not upset about it.
80Eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it happens about as often.
Source: Was a waiter. Felt dead inside every time I laughed at dishwasher jokes.
Sock_Ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was a waiter for several years, and I must say that I said my joke a lot more than I ever heard dishwasher jokes.
wearwolfnotswearwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have to stop. You can do it to a waiter and tip extra $5 for each moment of that nature, otherwise keep them to yourself.
It's a mega cringe to hear any variations on this.
Shamhain13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Please stop :)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:22:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you. Reddit is full of bitchers anyway. I'm a cashier and I cheese at that shit.
Harbltron ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:05:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't funny the first time I heard it, and it sure as hell wasn't funny the next four-dozen times.
felinebeeline ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:19:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked in a pharmacy, people would say this all the time and it never once bothered me. Lighthearted friendly humor, no matter how dad-jokey, was always welcome.
It was a nice break from the old woman who would make comments about gay men being "girly men," or the woman who wasn't taking her psych meds and would randomly call me a bitch, or hearing a patient I really liked died, or having my coworker remove all of my hubcaps and replace them with four different hubcaps from four other cars.
I guess how those jokes are perceived depends on context.
Jacross ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:11:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not terrible except for the fact that every single human on t g e planet is programmed to make the exact same joke and does make tge exact same joke and when you hear the exact same joke 109 times a day you start to get very depressed about the human condition and our deluded sense of individuality.
Frekavichk ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, its just bitter, asshole cashiers.
bijouxette ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 18:19:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget when the cashier checks $50 and $100 bills: "oh, i just printed that this morning!"
Fuck you. It is not funny joking about counterfeiting money to people who handle cash all day. We will give you the god damn death glare.
Cat-_- ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 18:43:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People don't realize that cashiers hear the same lame jokes over and over again all day. After a while I would just give the same "funny" response to every single one of them:
"You did a good job, print some for me too next time" :)
edit: typo
Kenny__Loggins ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 19:57:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"looks like shit. Do you use blended up grass for ink, you miserable excuse of a con artist?"
Darkdragoonlord ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:53:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or just calmly reach over to the phone and dial the police...
epileptic_oyster ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:36:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. Every career is this way. They all have their lame jokes/puns repeated over and over.
Doctor_of_Recreation ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:35:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in payroll/HR and I'm in charge of getting manual checks (outside the normal payroll) processed and signed. Any time I run into someone in the elevator when I have checks in my hand, they say, "Those for me?"
I usually respond with raised eyebrows, "You don't want these checks." My manual checks are almost always termination checks.
MiserableLie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:00:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 16/17 I had a Saturday job working in a fruit and veg shop. Every single fucking Saturday, the same fucking bloke would walk in, buy a single fucking item (a lemon or an onion or whatever) and hand over the 22p or whatever it cost, accompanied by the line "last of the big spenders" followed by an over-the-top (but sincere) laugh at his own extraordinary wit. But of course being the employee I was under an unwritten obligation to join in the laughter while simultaneously wishing I could grab the nearest courgette and shove it down his stupid fucking throat.
Anomander ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:57:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I found that a clearly rehearsed and practiced response generally got me out of them expecting their "wit" to be appreciated or rewarded while making it clear that their joke was something I'd heard a million times prior.
For a lot of those guys, the groan was just as much a reward as the laugh - they know it's a bad joke, but they still feel clever for coming up with it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:10:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The common phrase "Still alive," when I asked how their day is going. My witty response is "great, because we don't serve liquor to zombies or the underaged."
UndeadBread ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:27:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, the cashier at Dollar General says that to every fucking customer who asks. They only have to hear it once, but I hear it so many times whenever I'm working.
backstept ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:21:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God dammit. I haven't worked retail in 3 years and I'm getting bad flashbacks. My own damn fault for coming in here, though.
Jack_of_all_offs ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:44:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my fucking god I've heard it 4 times today, and I'm only 3 hours in.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:01:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Jack_of_all_offs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worse. Pawn shop.
Stevied1991 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard it six times in the first hour today.
dustyoldbones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard it 100 times in the first minute today
SuperSheep3000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky for me I only work 4 hours a day! The joy of retail and a 16 hour contract!!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:40:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I called over a front end leader in that case to ask questions such as a reminder of what the pen does when a bill is counterfeit because the customer isn't sure his bills are real.
DQEight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who always sees the pen...what DOES the pen do when its fake money?
bijouxette ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:29:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it turns really dark, almost a dark sepia brown. Real money, the pens will write a yellowish color. But i mostly hold the bills up and check for watermarks. I worked as a gas station cashier next to a busy highway, so we got our fair share of fakes. I started going by watermarks instead of the pens because people will wash the bills and print, say, a $100 on a washed and bleached $5. So out will still pass the pen test, but the watermarks won't much up
Darkdragoonlord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Writes on it like grey or black marker.
drivec ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:13:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, would you look at that! It is counterfeit! I'm afraid I can't take this and I'll have to report you to the authorities."
meisrly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:16:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My response to that was always "You know you just admitted to a felony right? If this were to come up fake it'd be right to federal pen with you." Always quieted them down...
colgatekiller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the one for me. Worked in a town where cash was mostly used and we had a lot of counterfeits. Heard this EVERY DAY for 3 years
Crilde ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Used to hear this one all the time at Wendy's. One day I just wasn't in the mood for any of that nonsense when sure enough some smart ass busts out this gem. Well We had a little UV light to detect fakes beside the register, so I put the bill under it, feign disbelief, hold it up over my head in the light, then hand it back to the customer and said "I'm sorry I can't accept this, it's counterfeit."
The look on his face was fucking priceless.
Foreveran00b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was a horrible employee because after like, a year into retail, I quit checking the 50$ and 100$ bills.
COMPLIMENT-4-U ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some RETARD once joked to me about robbing the store.
I mean HOW FUCKING STUPID CAN YOU GET?
Stevied1991 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a cashier who was robbed I just ask those people to leave.
epileptic_oyster ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:33:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I won't care, because if you want to judge me for telling a lame joke, fine. I'll judge you for having a lame job. Now give me my change bagboy.
AWildAnonHasAppeared ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow you sound like a pleasant person. I also handle money all day but share a cheesy laugh with a customer that says that, because it isn't his/her fault if I have heard that joke before.
spudzilla ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:41:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I make a "beep" noise with my mouth, is that worse?
StewBeer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:05:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cashier: would u like a bag?
Customer: no she's at home LOLz
godzillalikespie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:39:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a regular customer where I work that always responds with "Nah, I divorced her." I had to deal with that every fucking morning. Eventually I just stopped offering, then he started asking for bags. I swear he's fucking doing it on purpose.
StewBeer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:00:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Next time he comes in try to throw him off and then report back plz. Good luck
COMPLIMENT-4-U ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:27:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really need a good way to respond to this. I usually just keep silent lol
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:44:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Take them deathly seriously and tell them you're required to report this to your manager.
COMPLIMENT-4-U ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:45:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh ho ho no no no
They would believe me. They would wait for me to go and do it.
p000seidonnU808 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:12:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to say: "No, that just means I can charge whatever I want for it"
COMPLIMENT-4-U ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HOLY SHIT THANK YOU SO MUCH THAT IS SAVAGE
backstept ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My response would be "It's free!? I'm getting one!" and just run away from the register.
iamalwaysrelevant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The silent blank stare usually gets them to stop.
hurtinyofeelins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try my method:
"Hahaha I just printed it this morning"
"glare"
"...."
"...."
smackfairy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just smile cause I don't know wtf to say to such a lame ass joke lol
sparklebiscuit92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CAN CONFIRM. I hold passionate hatred in my heart for anyone who says this.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
funny stuff
TheTamrielTerror ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
backstept ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that works, too
eightiesfanjan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd give you gold but I'm broke so here's some imaginary confetti. *tosses confetti in the air.
UndeadBread ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The cashiers are just as guilty of shit like this. This is just one example, but every single time someone walks into the "nearby" Dollar General and says "How's it going?" the guy working there says "I'm still alive!" I hear that at least 40 times for every hour I spend there. If he catches you looking at stuff, he'll say "If you touch it, you gotta buy it!" When he rings people up, he tells them "That'll be a million dollars." And he calls everyone "boss".
Lots of cashiers have their own little catchphrases and quirks like this. I never noticed it as a customer (just like I never thought much of my own jokes), but now that I work within a few stores, I hear the same shitty jokes over and over. I judge both sides equally.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pete Holmes does a hilarious bit about that shitty "must be free" joke that everyone seems to think is hilarious. You should check it out.
TamponShotgun ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:46:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked for AT&T in their phone center billing services several years back, this is pretty much verbatim conversation I had with someone:
Me: [explain bill to her basically down to the last dollar, all standard voice and data charges]
Me: "Not unless you get a discount through your employer or organization." [I then check for her and she isn't entitled to any discount]
"Uh no, almost everyone is on a 2 year contract and are with us for that amount minimum. We also don't give any discounts for 'loyalty'."
"No."
"No."
"Ok, I can help you with that. If you disconnect, you will pay an early termination fee of $[xxx.xx], including your current bill and your upcoming bill. I can cancel your service immediately if you like and have my mouse on the cancel button. Would you like me to cancel?"
"Ok, would you like to pay your bill with me then or through one of our automated systems?"
[Also, before anyone says it, this was when AT&T outsourced their call center work to a third party company here in the states. My department ("Receivables Management") did not have any metric about number of disconnects, just average call time and 7 day callback, so I could freely call people out on their bullshit, it was the best part of that job.]
dfladfsh ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:29:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi. I've been with you guys for ____ YEARS and..."
-Every single customer when you work for a cell phone company.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:19:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dfladfsh ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The only time you're on the phone with cell phone customer service for 5 hours is when you don't listen to what they're saying.
Like when they say you need a new sim card and you refuse to accept that and demand your phone work without one.
Spektr44 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:59:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was with AT&T for 10 years and they wouldn't waive the bullshit activation fee on a new contract phone. =(
I'm with Republic Wireless now, no shitty inflated bills.
dfladfsh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a company that sells all the different phone services so I hate them all equally. Well I hate Verizon a slight bit more but yeah, they're all pretty terrible
Esotericism_77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sykes?
lickinchicken ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:01:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Is that your best price for cash?"
YES MOTHERFUCKER THIS IS A HIGH STREET STORE NOT A FUCKING MARKET STALL!
infosackva ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:14:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have to check notes before I put them in my till. I normally get two variations in reaction.
1) People getting personally offended
2) 'I printed that fresh this morning'
Second one is worse because I have to laugh each time like it was an original comment. Sigh
Helios-Apollo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:33:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a guy get so offended that he checked every bill I gave him in change in the same way. He was doing it in a douchy passive-aggressive manner and I just wanted to say that one dollar bills aren't going to have the same watermarks and security features of the $100 he gave me; but whatever.
infosackva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had someone do that to me, I just smiled at him and said 'Oh I've already checked it' :)
I'm also not allowed to check ยฃ50 notes. This guy had like a ยฃ3 meal, got out a wad of notes, and paid with a fifty! I don't understand people sometimes.
I_ama_Borat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, a lot of people hear the freshly printed joke. I have yet to hear it. Now I'm gonna get unreasonably angry when I do hear it... But of course mask that with a fake little smile :)))))
urmom8mydog ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:12:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is when a customer will actually try to justify why they believe they're "entitled" to a discount.
I work for a large toy store chain and every Thursday you get a 10% discount on most of the inventory if you use our credit card. I had a customer come in on a 'not-Thursday' with the intention of using his card to get the discount. Of course I had to remind him that the discount wasn't applicable that day. He asks if he may still get the discount, I tell him no.
Then he lays this golden egg of an excuse, "Well...I have a lot of toys..." No shit. That's what happens when you decide to come into a toy store with your children, just like almost anybody else who shops here.
fatalii ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:06:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I come back, return it, and repurchase it for the discounted rate?"
Oh go to hell you sorry son of a bitch.
urmom8mydog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my manager had to pass off that little loophole just get to him off of our backs.
Helios-Apollo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A coworker of mine actually went out of his way to unplug the open bag tag printer and rewire it so that it would be hidden below the counter, just so he wouldn't get people that see a discounted price sticker print out in front of them and ask if they can rebuy it for that price.
alcide170 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:16 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Price adjustments are retail workers' best kept secret!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
urmom8mydog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yet those same people are the ones who decline the rewards whenever we're obligated to ask.
UptownShenanigans ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:49:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a pharmacy tech which is basically a glorified cashier/pill counter, and my most hated line was, "oh my God how can my prescription cost that much!?"
Since they reject my explanation that the price was set by their insurance, one or all of the following occurs:
1) Customer asks for the pharmacist who confirms that's the price.
2) Customer asks me to call the insurance who confirms that's the price.
And my favorite, 3) Customer demands for their prescription back, so they can go to our competitor who gives them the same price.
UndeadBread ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:38:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't know how common this is, but I was that customer once (#2 anyway) because the price they gave me was far more than what I had been told. I was expecting a $4 copay and they wanted $85. Apparently my prescription had been changed from the generic to something else for some reason.
photobrewster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a pharm tech for about a year. We had the $4 generics. We get scripts in that call for non-generic fulfillments from your doctor. If your insurance doesn't exclude name brand we fill it, even if it costs more to you. We assume you and your doctor had discussed this before coming to us. If your insurance doesn't co-pay for name brand then we call your doctor to approve and fax a new script with generic medication. I don't think any doctor ever said no to a generic switch.
lynk7927 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:33:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is "Can you go any lower?"
me raging in my head: "No mother fucker, this is not a flea market. It's a fucking retail store gtfo"
funsizedaisy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:17:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this was something i wasn't expecting when i first starting working retail. i had no idea that people would try to negotiate prices like i'm trying to sell them shit at a yard sale. some people even ask me to call a manager to double check if they can get a discount. how entitled and clueless can people be?!?
MiserableLie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some larger retail stores here in the UK will happily negotiate on prices for higher-value items.
davydhatesyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, tell them to stop that.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:23:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing more frustrating than a customer telling me what I can and can't do in spite of not giving them their desired discount.
I_ama_Borat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:57:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of the main reasons I didn't become a cashier. I don't know how people do it. Telling the same jokes, hearing the same jokes, dealing with bitter people. No thanks. Guy I work with said it was great for the first week but he has regretted it ever since. It's pretty mind numbing stuff.
It-Was-Blood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is true, but it does eventually get better. I've been in retail/customer service for 13 years, and at this point I don't usually run the registers anymore, just manage those that do. You either get kind of numb to everything, or just start to find it all hilarious. A guy yelled at me for 10 minutes over the price of lemons recently, and it was the funniest thing I'd had happen in ages.
As you move up, you get more and more authority to deal with the assholes, which helps too. Still, I would not recommend it to the faint of heart.
NuclearSpark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:57:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bills and lack of a fancy resume.
I've been working at a mall food court for almost a year now. The numbing is quite real for such a dead end job. You're constantly waiting for the next anything. Next pay, next day off, next time you need to pay something. I'm currently on "next pay" stage, and most will be going to my outrageous phone bill. Alas.
I_ama_Borat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I feel ya. Cashiers get way underpaid too and don't even get raises, at least where I work.
Sephiroso ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:02:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows about the 10% discount @ walmart if you complain enough...amirite shoots self
elfin8er ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:16:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same as "These prices are too high"
funsizedaisy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or "i found this cheaper at insert other store here". good for you. go get it there then.
JuggernautV2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:46:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or you should order this and make major changes to the company 17-year old part-timer working at a large retail chain who has no power and doesnt give a shit about your job
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was home on leave my now ex-mother-in-law had my then wife and I waiting outside a restaurant with our kids for like 30 minutes while she harassed the manager trying to get free stuff because of some minor problem with the meal.
Frames__Janco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit like this is why retail is terrible. Someone accidentally labeled something with the wrong price tag and some guy actually called hr on me because I wouldn't sell it to him for the price on the tag (which was over $100 less than the true price). He kept saying "someone's gonna get fired over this" Hr basically told him to fuck off and he stomped out of the store murmuring about a lawsuit or something.
nnwan225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me as a sales associate: customer: "how much is this?" me: "hmm i think the price tag ripped off, let me go check for you at the computer." customer: "LOLOLOLOLHAHAHAHA SO ITS FREE?" me: (no bitch shut up you're not funny) "haha good one!"
Fuxagon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It doesn't have a price so it's free right?" No, that's not at all how that works. Where I work, we have to manually enter the prices (no scanning) and often the price stickers fall off and we have to call the department for a price check, so I hear that often.
SoberHungry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really am sorry in advance. I suffer from dadjokeitis. I try to reroute my train of thought but sometimes it fails
IFollowMtns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cashier: "Did you find everything you were looking for?" Customer: "And then some! Lolololol"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry I won't risk my desperately-needed job just so I can improve your day by a barely-measurable quantity.
Bruhuha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or when people post "lol cashier forgot to charge me for something , guess im lucky" . No thats stealing you cunt go back into the store and tell them before someone looses there job for your stick of chapstick.
pjabrony ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whose job is it?
Torvaun ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:48:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ultimately, the owner decides prices. As a retail owner myself, I usually just go by MSRP, but some things have a certain leeway. Beyond that, I decide appropriate discounts and their application. Employees get 20%, later this month militaria will be at 30% off in honor of V-J Day, there are other discounts that get set up for local events, or teachers, or any number of other things. I decide what they are and train my employees.
I also allow my employees to offer 10% discounts at their discretion, but I don't tell customers about that, it's not for them to ask for, it's for my employees to apply.
wearwolfnotswearwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on the store it could be up to a manager (in a small business) or up to busy people in office to decide the discounts. I worked at TS and we literally didn't have an option to decrease the price. It is locked and final.
Gneissisnice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was ringing up a customer once and she asked "So, can I get 20% off on this?"
I was dumbfounded for a second, and then said "...No. Why?"
She was like "Just figured I'd ask".
At least she was polite about it, but it was weird.
mega345 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:38:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a dollar and the thing I was buying was 1.09. That fucker was like "no, you have to give the 9 cent", fuck that guy.
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 20:48:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:23:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jmerlinb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, if you don't ask, you don't get. If it's possible for you to pay less in a store, then why wouldn't you?
[deleted] ยท 5826 points ยท Posted at 15:42:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only God can judge me."
flaming_oranges ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 19:15:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funny how it's always the most judgemental pricks who say that.
estafan7 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:10:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly like the girls who say they don't want any drama. They always start drama.
SantasLittlePyro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did this just become a little bit meta?
estafan7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote this before getting to the other part of the thread. Drama girls are not exactly a unique problem. Same goes for any other person listed.
Bobobo-bo-bobro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well duh. Only god can judge ME, so obviously everybody else is fair game.
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 6055 points ยท Posted at 18:18:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(voice from the heavens)
You're a slut.
xxkoloblicinxx ยท 3473 points ยท Posted at 22:50:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice From down below)
We'll take her!
DRUNK_CYCLIST ยท 1660 points ยท Posted at 00:45:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from the side)
Got any condoms?
[deleted] ยท 982 points ยท Posted at 00:53:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from behind)
Yes, bend over.
a_wild_douchebag ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 01:23:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from the West)
Lamborghini Mercy, your chick she so thirsty.
howtokillgod ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 01:35:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
(Voice from North)
Bitch you thirsty, please grab a Sprite
Edit: Reference to the song Norf Norf by Vince Staples
Edit 2: Link to explicit music video
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 02:16:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
QuasarSandwich ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:57:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When did I first start hearing voices? Well, I was browsing reddit one night..."
Bobboy5 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:26:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from down under)
Fuckin hell mate keep it down I'm tryin to fuck my fuckin sister in here
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:29:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ManicLord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice at the entrance)
Echo! Echo Echo Echo
ramilehti ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:53:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from the back)
Marco!
ThisBasterd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:04:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from Jersey)
Yeah?
TheQuiter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This ain't West Virginia man, at least use a condom.
SecretiveNarwhals ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:49:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(voice from the land of the ice and snow)
Ahh Ah Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh Ah!
Johann_828 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from Manhattan apartment window)
WILLZ YA KEEP IT DOWN? PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!
Captain_Condoriano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from the Hollywood Hills)
Just bought this new Lamborghini here
Pixelologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 02:18:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(voice from the front)
While you're down there...
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 05:24:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(voice from inside)
WHY'S IT SO FUCKIN DARK
Changoleo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:48:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(voice of reason)
DVDA
bluelink121 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:59:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(voice from the next room)
GET OUTTA MY HOUSE!
Archelon225 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:58:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(voice from another room)
QUIET DOWN!
intothemidwest ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:02:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, this has been lovely.
crazypond ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:23:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from inside)
I'm such a slut.
TheWhiteCrayon4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:05 on December 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upvotes for all of you
Jambi95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from across the room)
Got room for one more?
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why is this guy telling the condom question guy to bend over?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Experience is the best teacher, bend over.
KingStraton ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:29:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from inside)
Jesus, those Tacos last night are making me pay
ThatkidAustin98 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:03:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from the behind )
Don't need any!
_From_The_Internet_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:07:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from within your pants)
Eh, fuck it!
thatwasnotkawaii ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:52:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from the dumpster)
"FOUND ONE!"
Nobody1441 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dont you mean both sides?
Gryffindor_whore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(voice from the inside)
It's dark in here!
mbwun6 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:08:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
relevant username
CrackLawliet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Voice from ground level)
I'm judging you!
Targaryen-ish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:16:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
B-b-but, Satan..
_The_Real_Guy_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:52:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't want what she has. -claps-
The_Town_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:03:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...but how much are you willing to offer me?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
almost always welcome.
BlackMwoyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll fuck her too if she's hot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why did I read that in a flamboyant voice?
In before "cause that's your voice"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:19:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Herpes can talk?
jeremycinnamonbutter ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 22:14:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, don't masturbate.
xmotorboatmygoatx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:38:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Masturbation is for SINNERS!"
SilkyZ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:11:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who has two thumbs and is going to hell? This guy
d -__- b
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:52:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That looks like a super chill guy listening to music.
nickthekiwi ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 23:38:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(voice from heaven)
'bout a six.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:51:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(voice from below) We'll still take her... from behind.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 22:12:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ahakimir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hope your days get better every day mate
Very_Sharpe ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:23:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Is that you lord?".
Yes Cindy, and you are a SLUT
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:06:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I were God this is how I would spend my time.
AnMatamaiticeoirRua ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read that in DBZ Abridged Guru's voice.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:16:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love Jimmy Carr
marvin_nash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Grandpa?
IGuessItsCool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha
Duderds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(voice from the East) First light on the 5th day, at dawn, look to the East.
jerkmanj ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:58:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An accurate judgment, but aside from STIs what's wrong with being a slut?
ShadowShine57 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:49:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Low morals.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:14:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you actually saying that your morals, the ones you have only because of the parents you have and the environment you grew up in, are objectively better morals than someones who thinks about sex differently?
Jellooooo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, hahaha. Funniest thing I've read all day.
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:39:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
You live in my basement now
Dicksmash-McIroncock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like our usernames are cousins.
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:23:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
(handshakes your forearm)
...Sister, we've been expecting you. Welcome to the Dick-- Mc-- guild
Dicksmash-McIroncock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually your sister, guy, but I'll see ya Sunday for dinner.
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll make an edit haha
BesottedScot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something makes me think you'd enjoy this: Burnistoun: Banter From The Big Man
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:08:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be sure to check it out and let you know if I enjoy it!
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:30:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I watched the link you sent me, "Banter from the Big Man"
It was very Scottish, and very funny! Thank you!
MariaCamilla92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I lol'd.
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:05:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad
Th3_Cl3nsing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Made my day with that one.
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:05:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aww. Tink yu
SillyGirrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, so that's who that was!
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:49:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, silly little girl. Now run along and do you silly slutty things that you do sweetie
SirensToGo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really hate it when the camera man talks in porn, really ruins the immersion
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:00:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God is now the cameraman
phatmanrunning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kate twerks for God.
imatoiletbowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. Has got to be the most amazing response I have ever seen.
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:20:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks man! Means a lot.
Also this is the most karma I've ever gotten on a response ever so, yeah.
I just don't wanna be that guy who ruins the comment by tagging on something like "edit: wow highest rated comment is about sluts hurr-durr"
That just ruins it
OmbreBanni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminded me this one
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, you pissed off shitredditsays
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:23:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well fuck.
(I honestly never visit that subreddit so I don't know what you're referring to haha. Out of curiosity, what do you mean?)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:25:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
shitredditsays, a SJW hellhole. Don't go there.
dlgn13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SJWS ATE MY BABIES
sirblastalot ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:36:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ain't nothin wrong with that.
Dilsnoofus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:22:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL it's perfect because this is the no. 1 slogan of cheating wives everywhere.
Rixxer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:06:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to be casually overhearing that phrase while being at a window a few floors up, just so I can say that and duck out of view.
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:48:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When the opportunity presents itself, you must take it, my friend
CurrentSensorStatus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People that say, "you're a slut."
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People that say "People that say, "you're a slut"."
jk I luv u
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:55:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guys can be sluts too Mr. Double-standard. It's not a gender specific term (even though it's more commonly used to insult women).
jennifercardoza09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good point. Though given that the majority of pronouns following that statement were 'she, and' I had just finished watching John Oliver's video on Sex Ed in the US. I got really annoyed that girls are immediately labeled slut for being sexually active. Just take a look at the video, its great.
thefroggfather ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 17:28:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Poor Tupac.
InfectedP0tato ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:57:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[WP] Tupac in heavens court. The judge walks in. The judge is God.
themoertel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is he less holy because he chose to puff a blunt and drink a beer with his homies?
waytosoon ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 20:14:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well Tupac, it says here that you're a convicted rapist, but I do love "Hit 'me Up", so I suppose I'll let it slide."
thefroggfather ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 21:07:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tupac was never convicted of rape. To be convicted of rape you have to be convicted of rape. What he was convicted of (a charge by the same women) was an ass grab with his hand. Tupac said he was in a consensual sexaul relationship with the woman before hand so placing his hand on her buttocks wasn't out of the norm, however he conceded he did not ask permission before hand. In a very, very, contraversial desicion the Judge gave him the full sentence possible. Even the Jury was shocked.
However, he was found not guilty of rape. Not guilty of assisting rape, not guilty of attempted rape. The most minor charge sent him down.
But I guess that's the power of a rape accusation. Here we are in 2015 and you still believe Tupac was a convicted rapist when in fact he was found not guilty, which is the exact opposite of a conviction.
sp106 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:19:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's also worth mentioning that tupac pretty much could not get a fair trial. He had strong connections to the black panther party and was persona non grata as far as the government was concerned.
ProbablyPuck ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 21:22:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh look! A Tupac superfan!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:13:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it because he's right?
Pozla ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:06:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you retarded?
"Oh look, he presented a fact about an artist!!" "Must be a superfan lelele xDDDD"
nopethanksguy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-Biggie fan
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picture Me Rollin'
SquireMav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
rip
Jack_of_all_offs ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:48:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not if it's your cursive neck tattoo!
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:44:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let me make an exception"
SequorScientia ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:43:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only Zeus can judge me
YoureProbablyATwat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:10:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An ex friend has this tattooed on his back. I tired to talk him out of it for weeks but no go. Blokes a bloody idiot.
mortiphago ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:35:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and then a judge walks by and his brain fucking implodes
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:33:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention it was a misquote from the bible. The real quote was "God is my judge." Which basically means you are supposed to do stuff that God would approve of, so the exact opposite of what the original quote meant.
bcgrm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what my name means or something
Smgth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, fellow Daniel.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
captainAwesomePants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, "I'm trying not to judge you as hard as I can" is both more theologically sound and also sounds so much snarkier.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:10:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a girl with a chest tattoo that said this when I was walking into a hospital to see my mom. My brain just thought "No.. no.. I'm going to do it too."
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:06:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In highschool I was in the wrestling team and there was a kid who has this tattooed across his chest and another on his biceps that said gift of the gods. No shit.
Dr-Teemo-PhD ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:42:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I think you're being inconsiderate and unwilling to take responsible for your own actions."
Famixofpower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a TSS that would say this to much. Funny, during sessions, he would bring me to the library and have me read the fucking newspaper for 2 hours as he worked on his website. One time, I was eating noodles when he arrived, and he spontaniously grabbed my fork and started swirling it around in the noodles. He decided that day that he would have me look up books on table manners. I already wasn't feeling well, and that made it 10 times worse. I fell asleep at the computer I was researching on while he worked on his blog. When he started criticizing me, I quoted Han Solo and said "Even I get bored sometimes, do you think I had a choice?". He was obviously pissed when I said that.
Another time, I was at school and he arrived with my BSC. I noticed they were talking and turned off the music I was listening to. I could hear that they were gossiping, slandering, and practically insulting everyone in my family. I told my parents. They were pissed.
Every time we worked at home, he would randomly say this stupid "I am here to help you, and you are making that difficult" speech. One time, he decided to bring up that I had a girlfriend and broke up with her between the passed few sessions (it was a large gap, as I changed TSSs when they found out about his blogging, but they did not remove him and couldn't find a suitable replacement). Nobody told him, so I'm guessing he either found out through company gossip, or is a stalker. He then tried saying that I have no friends and haven't made any. I told him that was wrong. He said "I'm talking about real friends, not internet friends!". I told him they were "real". He asked me I tell him their names. I told him I wasn't telling him their real names and randomly shouted 3 male names.
He also refused to take me places. If my family was going on a group trip, he wouldn't go, saying "it's not my job and it won't help you". If I had been given allowance money, and my parents said I could go with him to buy something with it, he would refuse, saying "My job is not to play board games or transport you anywhere, it is to help you become a responsible adult."
What a fucking douchebag!
Dr-Teemo-PhD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's a TSS and BSC?
Famixofpower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Therapeutic Staff support.
BSC, I'm not sure.
Dr-Teemo-PhD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Therapeutic Staff support? And he talked to you like that? Sorry, I'm not really sure what a TSS does but if he's supposed to be supporting you, that is really unprofessional and rude. And just human-to-human, that's really fucked up
lucy_inthessky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
too many people get this tattooed on their bodies.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:33:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
May Lord of Light help you, For the night is dark and full of terrors
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pray for you."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know a couple of Jesus'.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously like I'm over here like, "Nope I'm doing a perfectly good job of judging you."
pjabrony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I suppose I'll be judging you then.
Spear99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But we can send you to meet him.
Patriotic_Potato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I guess I'm God.
Gr1mreaper86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone can judge you; few can sentence.
Gofflets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You say only god can judge you, yet here I am
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only Rod can fuck me!
waytosoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or when people say "Only God can judge (insert a judgmental statment)"
siouxperfly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My geeky self can't hold back: 'Pantheism' is the idea that God is infinite, and therefore there is nothing that is not God. This is necessitated by the word, 'Infinite'. There can't be anything else, because saying something else takes ups space would be cause inconsistencies in the infinitude of God. By this logic, I can judge you, because I am God. Edit: Unfortunately though, so are you. And so is that rock over there.
odin912 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ha, you say that, but...."
HardcaseKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, I think you'll find you're dead wrong about that."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I often say that sardonically.
Melfonts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But he don't like no ugly
kevindlv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people say, "Only God can judge me," and yet here I am.
Twizler73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And in revalations 4:20 it says that you're a bitchy whore.
BtownBlazin37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dont tell me what I can and can't do...
mini-actualsize ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, looks like my status in the world just got elevated.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
great album though
Crook_Lid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God: you a hoe
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tupac would be very disappointed
MaximumRevolver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
= "I'm a skank."
TheRoyalAstronomer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Actually I can judge you, in fact I'm doing it right now"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only superdog can judge me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok...BANG.
bingletons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Surely the best response is "I'm doing a pretty good job of it right now".
ironhead_mule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that if I ever murder someone and get caught and go to trial and get convicted, immediately after the jury foreman announces the verdict, I would say "don't judge me. only god can judge me". That would really put him in his high-fallutin place.
Midgetsdontfloat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope.
See? I'm judging you just fine from down here.
_dirtyhands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got this tattooed on my chest as an ambigram when I was 15. Luckily, it's pretty difficult to read at a glance, but the looks of judgement I get anytime my shirt comes off are still pretty hard to swallow. I still look at myself like an idiot every time I see it in the mirror. What's worse is I'm not a huge fan of Tupac, or the saying. I was just a stupid turd of a kid with some money and thought it looked cool. Unfortunately my mother was willing to sign off on my horrendous, permanent decisions. At least I can use a good portion of my tattoos as a reminder to think before I act, I guess.
witchwind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's always laser tattoo removal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"THOUGH YOU ARE CORRECT THAT MY FINAL JUDGEMENT WILL DETERMINE YOUR ETERNAL FATE, YOU ARE NOT EXCUSED FROM THE JUDGEMENT OF YOUR PEERS. CRITICISM IS GOOD! LISTEN TO IT!"
darcys_beard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love a challenge.
qft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Actually, I'm pretty sure I just did"
MschvsWzrd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Either love me or leave me alone"
larouqine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or a judge. A judge could also judge you.
eldirka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair that is my favorite Tupac song.
Scunytz70 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like a cop-out statement.
CupcakeValkyrie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've noticed that people that say this are almost exclusively very judgmental themselves.
xajx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yet here I am.
ElectricBlanketLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No...he's not. I'm judging you right now, and probably very accurately too
Amphabian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interestingly enough, this is also the motto of the French Foreign Legion.
Men from all over the world who leave their lives behind to start something new.
rockstardma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...I don't think that means what you hope it means.
Vigilante17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, pretty sure I'm judging you. Right. This. Second.
DeathsIntent96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't need a jury.
LaBelleCommaFucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the jury that found you guilty.
uranus_be_cold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not true!"
Zackeezy116 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a Christian, there's so much wrong with this statement when I hear it.
HEBushido ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And they're somehow not afraid of the all powerful being that allegedly flooded the earth and nearly drove the human race to extinction.
FirstSheepShagga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a jail and inmates have this saying everywhere...or they wear crooks and castle wear and their motto is "can't stop the crooks"...yes...yes we can and we did, that is why you are here.
AllEyezOnMoney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's Tupac saying it...God bless that man.
Flaktrack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well the sooner you kill yourself, the sooner you can be God's problem."
KSFT__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, I'm not God, but I'm definitely judging you."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what is your opinion on the 2pac song by the same name?
whalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only time will judge my legacy." โ Dubya
sundancee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ask me about jesus"
psomaster226 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite, because Christians are meant to judge each other harshly.
wooder32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uuuuuugh I see so many full sleeves on dudes at the casino with this garbage written in loopy cursive. Young Latino males mostly. Such cringe
dorianfinch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little scared because this is the top comment, and this is me in my favorite hat.... I'm a reasonably good person, I swear.
lkjf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood this one. They say it like it's a good thing.
"I may get fire and brimstone'd but no one can make little comments"
Deidrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even Tupac?
Killedkillerb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And yet... Here I am
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pac is that you
Christ_on_a_Crakker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(voice from heavens)
Don't masturbate
petit_cochon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In heaven. On earth, humans get to do it! Fun!
ro_deschain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only God should judge you, but we're all going to judge you.
KnowMatter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just patently wrong. Let's say god's is the only judgment you are concerned about - fine, whatever. But that in no way inhibits my ability to judge you.
LikeAChikaCherryCola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only Judy can judge me!
Wiljuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only Judy can judge me.
plouis813 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear if you say that three times in a mirror with the lights off Tupac comes out and murders you.
ghost_orchid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You dislike Tupac strongly? ):
deekofpaen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THAT SHOULD TERRIFY YOU
grim77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only God can judge me."
Actually.. You're a dumbass.
JUDGED
AngryRoboChicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they're quoting 2pac
Avl_feather ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have a blessed day.
Frames__Janco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Really? Cause I could've sworn I'm judging you right now and you're a cunt."
stands_on_big_rocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No Regerts!
Divided_Pi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They might just be a huge Tupac fan though
artieziffVEVO ยท 5041 points ยท Posted at 17:32:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a friend once told me that PTSD was a very recent invention. Pre-Vietnam, soldiers didn't come home changed. I was dumbfounded
librarygal22 ยท 2971 points ยท Posted at 17:39:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It used to be called "shell shock" back in WWI.
Edit: My mistake, people. It wasn't what they called "shell shock" back in those days. But I DO know that PTSD did exist. In fact, there was a National Geographic article a while back about the first therapy centers that were established for WWI soldiers after the war ended.
[deleted] ยท 1900 points ยท Posted at 20:02:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Battle fatigue in WWII
TheEmaculateSpork ยท 126 points ยท Posted at 21:29:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
George Carlin pls
deftonz19 ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 22:11:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go! https://youtu.be/hSp8IyaKCs0
temalyen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:26:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While I mostly agree with that bit, the part about Shell Shock/Battle Fatigue/PTSD always sounded wrong to me. This is based solely off the fact that, when I was in college taking psychology (long before Carlin ever performed that skit), I remember reading about PTSD and thinking, "PTSD sounds like a hideous term. Shell Shock is such a softer term, makes it sound less bad." which is the exact opposite of what Carlin said.
Edit: To be clear, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder sounded like a horrible problem, where as shell shock sounded like something you could walk off to me.
schlonghair_dontcare ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:47:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can kind of see how you feel that way. "He suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder" sounds a lot more medical than "He's shell shocked"
but i still agree with George, "shell shock" just sounds a lot more honest.
FlockofGorillas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:01:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the term shell shocked makes it seem like it's in the same category as having your bell rung or cage rattled.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:06:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Should be upvoted to the top of the discussion. Then every other comment should be deleted.
HiddenKrypt ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 00:35:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly? That bit strikes me as rather dumb. The term didn't change, our understanding of what happens did. PTSD is not Shell Shock. Shell Shock is shock. It may or may not including long term PTSD. The victim might be fine an hour later, and never have problems again. That's not PTSD. PTSD comes later. You know what they called PTSD in WW1? Malingering. I love Carlin, but him making it out like some moral issue with that last line, "maybe they'd get some treatment if we still called it shell shock" NO. Fuck you. PTSD victims used to be persecuted for "faking it" or for cowardice. When we changed to calling it PTSD, it was because we had recognized that it was a real psychological condition, one worthy of treatment and respect. Back when shell shock was a term, people with PTSD were called traitors.
jmerlinb ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:47:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a good Radiolab podcast on just this, called 'Translation' I think. http://www.radiolab.org/story/translation/
Excuse_Me_Mr_Pink ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:37:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, Carlin is awesome but he's 100% wrong here. Soldiers on both sides were executed for abandoning their post (the trenches) for any reason. No questions asked or psychological diagnosis given.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:36:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost as if you shouldn't be taking your historical lessons from stand up comedy routines.
Excuse_Me_Mr_Pink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sass aside, Carlin here is preaching about the lack of humanity in a serious tone, where in fact PTSD is a disorder that you can receive medical treatment for. In WW1 they would just wait for you to quit shaking and put you back in the trench. His whole point is incorrect.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:56 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and unfortunately unlike redditors who are still alive, Carlin can't retcon his own knowledge cause he's dead. I do recall pretty much everyone considering that version to be historical fact in the 90's and 00's; we all believed it. i
G8kpr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember hearing stories that the Russians only had half as many guns as soldiers, and so they sent two soldiers with 1 gun between them to attack the germans.
If the guy with the rifle was shot, the other guy was to pick it up and keep running. If the guy without the rifle was shot.. oh well.
Apparently soldiers going up against german forces that all have guns was a bit demoralizing, and many russians simply turned and ran back, where they were promptly gunned down by their own officers as punishment.
Shisa4123 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:03:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something out of Enemy at the Gates.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It also happens in the movie, My Way.
temalyen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:31:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd need to find the post in /r/askhistorians to be sure, but I seem to recall someone asking about that and being told that officers gunning down their men who turned back is a myth and never actually happened on any large scale.
Edit: To be clear, I think I also remember people arguing in the comments about that point, but I feel like the general consensus was it never happened.
G8kpr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's interesting, it's something I had heard many times, but I would not be surprised if it was a myth.
Wonder if it was propaganda within the Russian army just to make them fear running away.
I also thought that British soldiers were shot in WWI by their own officers if they deserted their posts. However I could be wrong on that as well.
Ysmildr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:19:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was very late in the war after the Bolsheviks took power but before Russia backed out of the war
Tony_Millhouse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:05:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This happened in WW2.
Excuse_Me_Mr_Pink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea and it was even worse in WW2 under Stalin, somewhere around 20 million dead or wounded Soviets overall.
Ysmildr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, there definitely was questioning done. Maybe not in every case, but my understanding is theyd be questioned on why they left their post. Just got done with the hardcore history series on it so im by no means an expert but he specifically talked about abandonment of posts and questioning.
Excuse_Me_Mr_Pink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yea just using 'no questions asked' as an expression. HC history is awesome. I was saying how they wouldn't take 'shell shock' for an acceptable reason to leave your trench (because then everyone would GTFO), they would shoot you for doing that.
Ysmildr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:03 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but that was at the start of the war, from my understanding they rotated them to avoid it
Excuse_Me_Mr_Pink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:01 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My whole point is that they would execute anyone who deserted their post. This was true for the whole war.
dawilli2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really think you're missing the point here. Language changes perception , thus reflecting into society. Understanding the condition is different from the rhetoric we give it. The point is softening the language, softens peoples reaction to it, and we have that happening today. Try to pay attention the language we've all agreed on.
HiddenKrypt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Terms like PTSD are officially defined by the APA, an organization well aware of the power of language in shaping perceptions. My point is that PTSD is a better term that leads to better care of sufferers. The perception of the words "shell shock" include an exclusive connotation of war and combat, where PTSD can occur from far more personal trauma. Shell Shock is an exclusionary term that implies that sufferers who weren't in combat aren't experiencing the same psychological effect.
In world war one, Shell Shock was effectively a new epidemic. It had not been recognized before in medical literature. 306 British soldiers were shot for desertion, cowardice, or malingering, before it was determined that many were actually psychological casualties. The British government has since admitted this mistake. Even today those men are attacked for the misfortune of being subject to psychological harm.
PTSD isn't the best example of "softening" language. His part on "downsizing" was much better. Medical terminology is defined in a more cold and technical way, changing to provide a better fit to the condition. PTSD is a disorder that affects some people who have experienced traumatic stress. Maybe it was combat, maybe is was witnessing a suicide, maybe it was surviving a train wreck.
PTSD victims still have to deal with people accusing them of making it all up, but these days it's far more accepted as an actual problem than Shell Shock was. At least they don't have their own generals having them shot for it. The change to PTSD as a term has helped more people than it hurt. Carlin was wrong.
dawilli2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:26 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thanks for writing that out, honestly I appreciate it. I believe it is necessary for the medical diagnosis to be different and updated. PTSD definitely is more specific and properly identifying the condition. But for public discourse, and to Carlins point, it sounds too sanitary to the everyday person that it has no weight and therefore less meaning. Again, it is also a comedy routine. You can't deny that it is a very thoughtful idea. We're so obsessed with clinical terms and taking the life out of words, that the emotion is stripped from terms like these. Whether it be correct or not, I think that was his point. Anyhoo, I know you're an intelligent person and we can agree to disagree.
brikad ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:25:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost everything you just said is incorrect.
HiddenKrypt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:43:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, Shell shock isn't just "shock", it's a specific type of shock called Combat Stress Reaction. It's still not PTSD, though the two are often related as their causes are similar. It was also considered malingering. Oh wait, those aren't things I got wrong, just details I left out.
FuckinGoof ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't draw a clear line between shell shock and PTSD because they didn't co-exist and they're products of two completely different understandings of psychology separated by over half a century.
They overlap in many ways, and they also differ in many ways. There's no neat dividing line.
There was acute and chronic shell shock, with the latter being most likely a close analog to the modern concept of PTSD.
HiddenKrypt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I'll certainly concede on that point. There's very little about mental health that has any sort of sharp defining line. My main point still stand though, the advent of PTSD as a diagnosis represents a refinement in our understanding of extreme stress, and has resulted in better treatment for these conditions than were present in the days of "Shell Shock" and "Soldier Heart", not to mention the benefit of recognizing that PTSD is not solely cause by combat, but includes all sorts of traumatic events as possible instigators. "Rail Spine" for example, an early idea that we would likely consider PTSD today that was used to describe the long term problems suffered by those that survived train wrecks.
George Carlin is a great comedian, but the central thesis of that bit, that soldiers may have been better off if we still treated them for "shell shock" instead of PTSD, that PTSD is a symptom of softening language... that's what I'm arguing against.
FuckinGoof ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I wasn't with the guy saying you're completely wrong about everything while masturbating furiously. At least, I assume he was masturbating furiously since he couldn't take three seconds to mention how or why you were wrong.
I do like the term "shell shock", though. I guess I'm oldschool with my mental disorders. "Manic depression" has a great ring to it too.
HiddenKrypt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. And I still feel I'm not so much wrong in that first post, as I made some generalizations over a very complex subject that would require a much longer discussion (say, the one in these subsequent comments) to even start to explore properly.
KilRazor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:52:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which really just further underscores your original point that PTSD and related disorders are complex and varied and probably not the best example of the type of silly, politically-correct euphemising that Carlin was otherwise deftly lampooning throughout the rest of that special.
HiddenKrypt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. The downsizing euphemisms were a perfect choice for that bit.
Freedomfighter121 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh is that right? Prove it, please. Because what he just said makes a lot of sense and what I'm seeing from you is a whole lot of nothing.
brikad ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:40:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're asking me to prove common knowledge, but everything hiddenkrypt just pulled out of his ass flies with you, no objection at all?
This is why I fucking hate Reddit sometimes. Someone could say the sky is fucking purple, and the person who corrects them is always the asshole, never the idiot who posted erroneous information to begin with.
For a website so "anti-establishment", you morons always believe the first thing you're told, and cling to it like religion.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:00:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Freedomfighter121 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:21:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, Ikr? Way to bullshit your way out of actually backing up your claim, man.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:44:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuck off with your "NO. Fuck you." BS
xxkoloblicinxx ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 22:48:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's even believed by many historians that Alexander the great himself suffered classic signs of PTSD.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:32:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like sucking off other guys and stuff?
Retlaw83 ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 00:52:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, your sister has PTSD?
nottyron ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:22:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No it was actually his mom.
QuasarSandwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't getting the congrats it merits.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 01:02:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:38:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wut, why did you have to shoehorn that statement in there?
ironappleseed ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:38:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, that was just for funsies.
QuasarSandwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would be surprised if most people didn't have PTSD back in the Ancient world considering the frequency and savagery of conflict back then.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be surprised if they did.
If your whole world is usually daisys and suddenly wicked brutality enters the mix youve been shaken
If your whole world is brutal and some more brutality comes along then it's just Tuesday
QuasarSandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you may well have a point there.
Captain_English ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't there also a discussion of Viking beserkers exhibiting an extreme manifestation of PTSD?
Myfourcats1 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 00:21:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing was wrong with the Vietnam soldiers. They were perfectly fine. Raging nightmares. Not Vietnam. Crazy cancers. Not Vietnam. Kids with birth defects. Not Vietnam. Source: child of Vietnam vet. They didn't believe them for so long. Now they're all dying from cancer.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:34:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does he get an agent orange check?
Foibles5318 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:29:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
after 25 years, my dad finally got involved with the VA. 100% disabled because of PTSD. Then, he got lung cancer. Right before he died they upped that to 125%....... um, thanks!
targetJacob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle passed this year from lung cancer and had undeniable proof it was from agent orange. Still had a tough time with the VA giving assistance
Foibles5318 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:59:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had my father not already been deeply entrenched in the system, I'm sure he wouldn't have gotten anything. We were "lucky"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to hear that.
Foibles5318 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you
Myfourcats1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:25 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad passed away in 2005.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:07 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My simpathies
Whisper ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 23:12:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Soldier's Heart" in the American civil war.
gerbafizzle ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:40:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"oh he's fine he just drinks two bottles of scotch every night"
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 21:20:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
rat-fink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:07:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
i_overexplain ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 21:39:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Legit best comment.
elevatorattendant ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
trigger triggered
ugottoknowme2 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:37:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Operational exhaustion in Vietnam.
MeppeKR ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:04:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that was Korea. At least according to Carlin.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:02:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does every thread have the same conversations repeated ad naseum every time?
This one isn't even that bad/often repeated, but still.
Rmccar21 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:52:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
this is the result of a bunch of same media saturated internet dwellers trying to be relevant to each-other in order to get internet points translating a shared memory into a slight dopamine hit. For most of us its more logical for our subconscious to pull from other successes than to try a new conversational approach, and so repeated conversations. But you already knew that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That explains why people say the same things sure, but as you said I already knew that.
What really boggles the mind is that people fucking upvote the same bullshit over and over again.
It is mental laziness at it's nadir, the preference for already understand and processed information, and an unconscious sorting against of new ideas and thoughts.
It's ridiculous and somewhat scary.
jimmux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically, I now want to copy and paste this comment every time the question comes up.
BNLboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"fucked up" in Vietnam
rhymes_with_chicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then back to shell shock in Korea. Damn doc, what are we calling it next week?
yuckyucky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
they had to build giant psychiatric hospitals in the US after WW2 to treat the masses of psychologically damaged troops. john huston mad a documentary about it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Let_There_Be_Light_(film)
theforkofdamocles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Gotta love George Carlin's bit about the softening of our language using this subject.
FlipaFlapa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
George Carlin reference? Or just serious?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back when men only got tired not diseased!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Operational Exhaustion in the Korean War
bangorthebarbarian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Loopy-Doopy in WWIII
Retlaw83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They called it the flippity floobities back in the Revolutionary War.
ThaBadfish ยท 1673 points ยท Posted at 20:30:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck man, even back after the Civil War people had a name for it. They called it having "a soldier's heart".
Korvar ยท 1508 points ยท Posted at 22:28:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was an /r/askhistorians/ reply somewhere about whether Roman soldiers got PTSD. Obviously, diagnosing people from 2,000 years ago is somewhat tricky, but there are apparently writings from a veteran advising someone that the ghosts of the people you kill will haunt you. Which sounds like the intrusive thoughts and memories of PTSD to me.
KingSoundwave ยท 309 points ยท Posted at 23:40:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I distinctly recall that thread also mentioning that PTSD tended to have a much different set of triggering stimuli in that era with some theorized stuff about how war becoming 'louder' and much faster with the advent of firearms and automobiles wound up changing them to the more modern triggers. Or one of them anyway. That question used to get asked on AskHistorians A LOT.
[deleted] ยท 241 points ยท Posted at 01:02:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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valvilis ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 02:01:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Soldiers lose limbs today from explosions, but it had to be something altogether different to cut off someone's limb, or get hit in the face with their blood spray. Modern soldiers don't often enter into a big confusing melee with friend and enemy alike moving past you in every direction. On the plus side, no roman soldier ever had to worry about that one mission he was on where they killed 10,000 civilians in an air raid.
LoveTruffle ยท 125 points ยท Posted at 02:31:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm curious if the opposite is true. When you see an army across the field that you know you'll be engaged in a death struggle with briefly you have a chance to harden your resolve and tap into an innate animal instinct for survival. Hack enough people to bits and I'm sure it would haunt you, but I'd think it would be more haunting in modern day warfare to be walking and chatting with another soldier only for them to be gone a second later from an attack that you never saw coming.
A soldier trains to fight and win, in the latter scenario you don't get a chance to put up a fight and that seems to be the kind of thing that sticks with people. More data would be good as it is an interesting question.
lidsville76 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:59:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that is something I never thought of.
PaulTagg ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:30:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yea it seems that the old way of fighting where you could "see" your enemy , might have prevented the psychological trauma vs the whole "What if they dont come back from patrol, what if this is the last time I ever played cards or had dinner with them " trauma.
Cause when you think about it, battles were kinda scheduled in the old days. Two large armies met up in a spot, they camped out, had a chance to prepare for the next day, and then attacked one anouther. People had a chance to say "Good bye" in a sense.
LoveTruffle ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:40:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's, old old days, even before the height of the Roman empire. Set Piece Battles were more early Greek City-State style, Skirmishes became an increasingly common method of warfare when people stopped fighting their neighbors and started building empires.
A Set Piece Battle was used to settle disputes between people next to you that you didn't really want to wipe out, or them to wipe you out.
A Skirmish was a tool of total warfare used when the goal became to wipe out your enemy so that you could take their stuff.
But when, say a Legion, got wiped out by an ambush there probably wouldn't have been many left to show signs of any type of PTSD. Though that would be the place were we would be likely to see similar psychological symptoms.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what 'set piece battle' or 'skirmish' mean at all. You have no idea what you're talking about. And both the Romans and the Greeks got involved in set piece battles and skirmishes throughout their history, what you say about empires vs city-states doesn't even make any sense.
LoveTruffle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It was a summary, I wasn't writing a dissertation. The intent was to break things down into the context of the conversation. While you're wrong and I do know what I'm talking about I agree the half measure was a disservice.
Edited because my hangover caused me to give a standoffish initial response.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:50 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay, re-reading my answer makes me realize I was super rude. My apologies for that.
There's a core of truth in your original post, but I wouldn't use the words 'skirmish' and 'set piece battles ' to describe the changes between Roman and Greek city-state warfare. I'd call the Greek way 'limited war'. The combatants had a tacit understanding where the losing side of the war would agree to a peace treaty after 1 or 2 major battles, rather than fighting all the way to the end or destroying the opponents' city, which would cost everyone much more lives and money if that would become the norm. The Romans however didn't do this. They never settled for terms, even after suffering a series of major defeats, and would carry a war through until their opponent's cities and population were completely devastated. The only kind of peace treaty the Romans would accept was an unconditional surrender. Their way of war was much more brutal and unforgiving than the Greeks', which I think is what you were trying to say.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:08:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Doctor_of_Recreation ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:42:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It probably doesn't mean much, but I just wanted to say I'm glad you didn't have to sink any ships. And thank you for volunteering to put yourself in that position so that others don't have to.
jpkoushel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:39:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GM or FC? I think about this too.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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jpkoushel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm FC3 at the moment; I'm glad you never had to do anything like that and I hope in my time I won't need to.
Vox_Imperatoris ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:27:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Roman soldiers didn't do that, either.
They fought in tight formations for a reason. If one side's formation broke, it lost the battle.
LaZspy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:13:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, they didn't do it on purpose, but it's a bit much to say that the Romans didn't ever find themselves locked in a chaotic melee.
Vox_Imperatoris ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's fair.
I just wanted to take the opportunity to point out a common misconception people get from movies: that all battles devolved quickly into chaotic melees.
It's just like Hollywood swordfighting where the aim seems to be to hit the other guy's sword and not his body.
LaZspy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In that case, then, I agree. Especially on the note about movies depicting the Romans. I don't know why anyone would consider it cooler to see legionaries running about like chickens rather than fighting as part of a well-oiled machine...
garglespit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:35:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have killed 8 people. Every time I look my mom in the face she is looking into the eyes of a murderer. I am a monster, she deserved better than me. I wanted to be a hero and now people are dead. Those poor bastards probably loved their mothers as much as I do.
DaSaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:27:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ancient soldiers didn't have to run through fields of barbed wire against machine gun fire with shells exploding all around them (sounding like the loudest drumroll ever), all while starving, dying of thirst, sick from gas attacks, having just watched your friends die by sinking in mud...
World War 1 was probably the nastiest conflict.
Zuwxiv ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:00:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the use of hundreds of thousands of humans to force your way through some of the most heavily defended positions ever created. Wave after wave of men cut down.
I don't know which war I'd want to fight in, if I was forced to make a choice, but I know which one I wouldn't want to fight in.
The Great War is arguably the most senseless and gratuitous kind of carnage the world has ever produced.
Beingabummer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read somewhere one of the worst things modern soldiers can hear is 'affix bayonets'. If that's true I can only imagine what it would be like if melee was the only way to fight.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:57:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The "big confusing melee" is a hollywood invention. Ancient battles didn't really look like that. Not very often, anyway.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/psx77/what_did_ancientmedieval_battles_look_like/
Explosion_Jones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ancient soldiers usually weren't in big confusing melees either. They relied on formations, if it was a big confusing melee that meant one side had broken and was about to be slaughtered by their still well-ordered opponents.
magiccoffeepot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, but also remember this was a time when people placed far less value on human life. People routinely died by the tens of thousands in large single battles (let alone campaigns) and I'd wager that soldiers thought a little less philosophically about their work. When you're fighting actual barbarian savages and seeing them die by the score it isn't quite the same as the smaller scale, more muddied engagements of today.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Neither did any side that won, ever. They kept formation, because if they broke formation, they died. A formation means that you aren't fighting a guy by yourself, it's you and your buddies fighting some dude. And if they break ranks, they're the ones gonna die. If you break ranks, you better reform right quick, or be able to beat feet faster than their cavalry, or you were going to die or be enslaved.
That swirling melee? Hollywood bullshit. No one who wanted to win fought like that.
Valdincan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There were some very large massacres of cities by the romans, though, many hitting 10k, and some exceeding it (carthage, for example).
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 02:21:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even William Shakespeare alludes to it:
But if the cause be not good, the king himself hath a heavy reckoning to make; when all those legs and arms and heads, chopped off in a battle, shall join together at the latter day, and cry all, โWe died at such a place;โ some swearing, some crying for a surgeon, some upon their wives left poor behind them, some upon the debts they owe, some upon their children rawly left. I am afeard there are few die well that die in a battle; for how can they charitably dispose of any thing when blood is their argument? Now, if these men do not die well, it will be a black matter for the king that led them to it, whom to disobey were against all proportion of subjection.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 01:06:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but think about seeing your friends screaming in agony because they got hit with a mustard gas cloud as their mucus membranes became inflamed
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:09:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SnapMokies ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 01:23:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People were gassed in Syria just last year, it's not just history unfortunately.
Insanelopez ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 01:41:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah but there have to be survivors for people to have PTSD.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:52:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In modern warfare bullets are not what kill most people, and it is still messy. Source: am Marine combat vet.
prancingElephant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:19:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They've probably never seen someone die violently... I'm constantly shocked by how many people think it's just like in the movies. It's fucking not.
garglespit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God bless man. Be safe, I hope things are well.
Quastors ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:09:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What? GSWs, especially from rifles are not pretty, they really tear people up. Combat was usually closer though, which probably made things worse.
TheBrillo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:36:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think a big part of today's is how sudden everything is. The speed of bullets, coming out of seemingly no where. Modern war seems so much more horrifying than ancient war... but then again I wasn't there, so I don't know.
theBERZERKER13 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:23:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not only the speed of battle, but also the speed of the transition between being at war and being back home. I forget where I read this, but there's a theory that PTSD is so prevalent nowadays is because soldiers are literally at war one day and could be back home a week later. There's not enough time for them to decompress and adjust to being off the front lines.
In the past, soldiers had to do ALOT of marching to and from where they were fighting, they'd spend weeks just traveling to the where ever the war was taking place, they didn't have planes, trucks, fast moving ships or anything like that. So as they set out for battle they had time to acclimate to a 'war mentality' and the same is true for when the war is over, or they're discharged. They'd have weeks or months of traveling time to get back home, time spent with other soldiers, where they could sort of work out their issues or anything like that. They could slowly readjust to not being at war.
I know that soldiers nowadays have to spend a period of time after being taken out of a war to unwind before they're actually allowed to return home. But I think that fact that you could literally go from being shot halfway across the world to being back at home on a base within like two days, must be a crazy transition that many soldiers may struggle with.
djn808 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:08:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Roman soldiers in the battle of Cannae supposedly committed suicide during the battle rather than continue to be stuck in the Crush while being slaughtered by the Carthaginians
CaptainGulliver ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:24:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you link to the wrong wiki page? That's crush injuries
Foskowitz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking the Crush
ThunderCuuuunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyzrbV0ORrM
Aremnant ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:54:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was less the immediate bloodiness of it all, and instead how (recently) wars are constant. Think of it this way: in an ancient army, a battle might last a week, in which there are many smaller engagements, but for the rest of the war, you are mostly walking between battlefields- you really only have that one single week of hell. On the other hand, with something like WWI, you were always fighting- the front never moved, and even if there wasn't and 'official' battle going on, you and those around you were still shooting, killing, or dying on a near daily basis.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:49:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I If you listen to Dan Carlin's Hardcore history (amazing podcast) he talks about this. Pretty much PTSD probably wasn't as prevalent because wars, up until ww1, where fought in battles that rarely lasted longer then a day. But with the creation of massive armies and mechanization battles now lasted months, and involved a lot more casualties and more people coming back with PTSD
TLDR; big battle bad, short battle good
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As I always say when I see Hardcore History mentioned, it's a great and interesting podcast, but not very historically accurate.
KingSoundwave ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:49:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Eh. Battles were also much smaller scale, generally shorter, and you can SEE the guy swinging a sword at you and have a reasonable shot of blocking/dodging and striking back. Not so much with small slivers of metal being fired from 200 yards away. Plus up until the advent of railroads/the automobile wars pretty much ground to a halt during the winter given that a pretty significant portion of most pre-modern militaries consisted of drafted farmworkers who needed to return to their fields. Plenty of time to think about their experiences and discuss them with fellow veterans before returning to war come spring.
Obviously hacking people apart is still a traumatic experience unless you've successfully managed to totally dehumanize your enemy but premodern armies had the benefit of (usually) having significantly longer periods between engagements on top of returning home for the winter rather than the constant blitz of combat anxiety soldiers tend to experience on modern battlefields...or at least thats my theory anyway. Can't confirm it with any real certainty though given that PTSD wasn't even a diagnosed condition until a few decades ago.
vikingcock ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:08:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here's my perspective, you can compartmentalize hacking one to death, because they are trying to do it to you, so you are simply saving your own life.
One problem with modern PTSD is the uncertainty. It comes from the fucking IED's. You are in a country for 7 months, 4 months of waiting, working, expecting, nothing ever comes. Then boom. Immediately your life has changed forever in a millisecond. From that point forward you are always "on alert", always expecting another boom. It fades over time, but comes back in an instant sometimes.
I didn't shoot anyone, but my friends did in Afghanistan. They said the shit we saw in Iraq with IED's was way worse.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:16:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
vikingcock ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:25:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the support. I wish we were all back. I don't want to bury anymore of my friends.
BrickLorca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sensitive right now, but this comment just made me cry.
vikingcock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry for that. It's a reality of war though, and it makes those of us still here live better lives by living in their honor since they don't get to.
BrickLorca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All of my respect.
KingSoundwave ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:24:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. Constant combat anxiety, even long after the initial trigger has disappeared. Combine that alertness for specific triggers with an immediate fight or flight response...well, it doesn't really surprise me that a pretty large percentage of veterans diagnosed with PTSD haven't even seen combat. Probably also worth pointing out that extremely loud sounds (like say...an IED exploding off in the distance) is one of humanity's most primal, ingrained fears as well.
vikingcock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't all bad. I don't like to admit it, but I do have PTSD. However for me it is kind of beneficial. Rather than burying myself in drugs/alcohol, I bury myself with work. I take on excessive amounts of work and get it done, all looking for that rush, all looking for the stress.
When I get bored, the doubt and the guilt and the anxiety creep in. So I don't let myself get bored.
JTtheLAR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is nothing "eh" about fighting mano a mano with bladed weapons. I imagine it being a pretty intense event.
vikingcock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, fencing is pretty intense.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KingSoundwave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:33:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm honestly not too educated on the specifics, but I know distance is definitely a pretty big factor in terms of things like being traumatized by the act of killing. Stands to reason though, I'm sure theres a pretty massive psychological difference between the feeling of putting 3 rounds in a guys center of mass from a few hundred yards where you can't make out his features and a desperate spray into the guys chest from 5 feet.
EireaKaze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I read up on this, the sources I had said that it wasn't as bad as people think due to the face plates on armor. The brain has difficulty linking the armor to a person because there are a lack of facial features. Even in close combat, the fighters never really saw each other, just the outside of the armor.
creepy_doll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think WWI might just be the most brutal trench warfare and all that
SunshineCat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it was more organized then. People knew when and how they were fighting then. Today it just seems random, like you never know what's going to happen minute to minute. That seems a lot more stressful (in the long term) than standing in a line and thrusting out a weapon right in front of you at designated times and places.
Taleya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:19:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's also the difference of day-to-day life.
Right now we live in a heavily sanitised time. We're separated from the bloody, messy reality of death for the most part. It's all cleaned up and packaged. Then you hit the reality of war, and it can REALLY fuck you up.
Not saying romans didn't have PTSD, but living in a time where you'd butcher your own animals for food and for religious sacrifice would have prepared you better for doing the same to a human, as opposed to living off mcnuggets then having to blow someone's head off.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:52:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I've read that the Hollywood vision of two armies with swords running full speed at each other and slamming into each other never really existed outside of the movies. Ancient combat involved a lot of formations, shield walls, etc. There wasn't a whole lot of up-close hacking and slashing.
The other thing is that in modern warfare, most people don't die from being shot. In the most recent war in Iraq, American soldiers fired 250,000 bullets for every 1 dead insurgent. In modern war, it's artillery shelling, bombing, airstrikes, and disease that kill far more soldiers than bullets do. In fact, you're more likely as a modern soldier to be killed by friendly fire (for instance, a miscalculated air strike) or an enemy roadside bomb than you are from actual combat where you and the enemy are trading shots.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:08:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if you have access to it at your local library, have a look at Col. David Grossman's book "On killing"
it addressess many of the issues in this thread
x3nodox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the flip side, seeing your friends get blown up by an ied probably doesn't have good parallels. War is brutal.
garrettj100 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, maybe not. Warfare back then was a helluva lot more... civilized than later wars. The Battle of Agincourt was more like a tennis match. There were observers who declared a winner.
Cheesedoodlerrrr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:38:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhh.... what? I doubt very much you have any idea what you're talking about. Thousands of people died at Agincourt. French knights literally drowned in mud puddles six inches deep by the hundreds.
There was no question as to which side had won.
Andy06r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AskHistorians said that the knights got stabbed in the eyes by the longbowmen after they joined the melee, completely helpless to resist...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It has a lot to do with how wars are fought. It's one thing to march to a giant field, and then clearly see the other side and then fight. It's another to be deployed against a guerilla force when whether sleeping in your bed or out on patrol you can get blown up with no notice.
Dreamer06 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've also read that there has been an increase because the battle lines are less clear. Your "enemy" isn't wearing a gray uniform instead of blue - it could be the little kid on the side of the road or a merchant selling fruits and vegetables.
KingSoundwave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats almost definitely a solid contributor. Rather then specific, conditioned responses to the sight of specific uniforms/symbols it becomes a constant anxiety triggered by a menagerie of stimuli.
katherinesilens ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Melee close-quarters battle is pretty loud and surprising and messy. Any frontline soldier should have had plenty of stimuli.
csbob2010 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:27:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Our culture is also much softer than it was back then. You can get a good sense of this from third world countries. Death, dead bodies, and other fucked up shit is common and not out of the ordinary. Now we take these people from relatively sheltered environments and plunge them into chaos and war and you get the recipe for PTSD. Romans were likely more desensitized to death and violence than a 21st century adult from the suburbs of the US.
That's just one aspect, PTSD is very complicated and differs from person to person. Your brain can basically rewrite its neural pathways on the fly without you knowing about it. All of the sudden you have these defense mechanisms set up to protect you, but now you are back in the US and they are detrimental to your now normal life.
KingSoundwave ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:46:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I kind of doubt it was TOO different. Rome DID emphasize martial valor and duty far more than most modern day 1st world cultures but for the most part they didn't go to war on the homefront. Gladiatorial battles weren't often to the death so if anything I'd say that the average person now is far more saturated with exposure to death via 24 hour news cycle and movies/television.
SunshineCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that something that would be more common in younger people? I wonder if an older person (say in their mid to late 30s) would be as likely to get PTSD under the same circumstances as a younger person (18 to early-mid 20s).
csbob2010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It varies from the experience of a person, it has nothing to do with age. Age may give you some experience, but unless it's with seeing entrails, and dead children it likely will not help you. The brain is amazing in how it adapts to an environment, however it can't really effectively convert back to it's original state. If you go through some harsh combat for 12 months, you brain will rewire itself to deal with that, but when you get home your defense mechanisms it created stay with you. Like I've said it depends on each person, but it can really fuck with your head, in ways that you do not even realize or have control over.
mas752 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Roman soldiers did have to kill people in their own platoon if the group had to retreat,
KingSoundwave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:03:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that would be decimation. They'd be forced to draw lots and 9 out of every 10 men would beat the remainder to death. However, as far as I'm aware the practices has only actually been used a handful of times since it was almost universally seen as a cruel and unusual punishment even by Roman standards. So it tended to be reserved for extreme cowardice or mutiny or as a political tool of particularly cruel, vindictive emperors. Definitely not at all a common occurrence.
ShitLord5_StandingBy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can definitely relate. I was reading tumbler and some skinny bitch mentioned how she went on a RUN. Like, ugh. I was SO triggered.
/s/s/s
KingSoundwave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
trigga trigga trigga I'm one hunnid percent trigga
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
War happens slower now than it used to, and I think that's a huge contributing factor. Before World War I, you didn't have battles that lasted months. Most of the time they'd be over in a few hours.
KapitanTurtle ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:04:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read a book not too long ago that talked about this a bit and they mentioned something that I found very interesting:
The war experience in the classical period was different to modern society in that a soldier in modern warfare can go from the front line of combat back to home in a matter of hours. In the classical period, most combat took place many days march from home. The resulting march home after combat provided a much needed time for soldiers to discuss things they'd seen, done, etc, providing a cool-down before they reached home. With the modern soldier the shift from combat to mundane home-front is extremely jarring, leading to increased chance of PTSD.
Not totally sure if he's accurate, but it seems to make sense to me.
Explosion_Jones ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:31:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure there is a cool down period of about a week when you just hang around a base somewhere safe, specifically because we noted this phenomenon after Vietnam.
Mothanius ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:09:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is a good point. A big way to cope with PTSD is relations; ie someone that can relate with you. Matching home, you can discuss the period of b horror with those who were by you, remorse the loss of friends and utilize grip therapy, even if therapy isn't the goal. Brotherhood is a big deal for a combat veteran.
Today, people come home to a peaceful life really fast and have no where to go to discuss the experiences. It was difficult for me personally and I swung into deep depression at times. I kept it in not wanting to burden others, but when I finally broke down I was fortunate enough to have support around me. Others are not so lucky.
Quastors ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:12:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Less even the classical period, back when slow troopships were the primary method for moving troops to and from war they'd have a lot of time.
1dominator1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that you would live in the same city or community as many of your war fellows probably helped a ton. Nowdays our soldiers at the end of their tours split up to different parts of the country and end up all alone surrounded by people who dont/cant really understand why they have been through.
SunshineCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess back then they weren't expected to come home and spend months fruitlessly writing cover letters and resumes customized for each job. They likely had something solid, familiar, and practically guaranteed to come back home to. If someone who reads this has more insight into typical Roman labor/economy, let me know. My assumption is that most would just go home and work on their own family's farm, which sounds a lot less stressful than most work today.
Lt_Cheesecake ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:25:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some scholars think that Achilles expresses symptoms of PTSD in the Iliad. Interesting stuff.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:29:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. He was really shitty with Agamemnon about Briseas. "You sack of wine !!"
Lt_Cheesecake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:16:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's that. Then there's also that whole unyielding killing rampage he goes on after becoming distraught by his companions death. Maybe it has something to do with dragging Hector around the back of his chariot too after he kills him. Who knows. shrugs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, you're right. I just wanted a reason to say "You sack of wine!!"
BeneGezzWitch ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:41:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Odysseus in America by Jonathan Shay uses parallels from the Iliad when discussing PTSD. What stuck with me most is his theory that (paraphrasing here) trauma that occurs in a group can best be healed in a group.
AnotherThroneAway ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:35:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
War...war never changes.
SceneOfShadows ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:04:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also remember seeing some stuff related to that about how years ago (before WWII, really) the time from soldiers being in battle and actually going home was significantly longer than today (where it's just a plane ride away) and thus a huge issue with modern soldiers coming home is that their world is turned upside down so much quicker than it was before.
TheMachinist456 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine that the faces of the people you brutally sliced open in the chaos of bloody battle with swords and blunt objects probably does wonders to the psyche.
Codeshark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, snipers apparently have a real difficulty with PTSD because they, ironically, have to see the people they kill up close. It is one thing to kill a man who is shooting back at you, it is another to kill a man who is a high priority target but is current just sitting down for a nice tasty meal (or some other mundane task which will be his last chosen act upon this earth, though he doesn't know it at this particular moment).
tommytraddles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's important to keep in mind that the Romans generally believed that ghosts were real, though. A large part of pagan worship in the Roman world was designed to please various spirits, or at least to stop them from doing harm.
i_ANAL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not like the human brain has significantly changed in thousands of years. It seems patently absurd to me that susceptibility to psychological trauma from events is a modern occurrence - I expect it is as old as man. Further, it's not as if only soldiers get PTSD (even if they get all the press) as anyone going experiencing a traumatic event may suffer from it (car crashes, house fires etc etc.). Empathy is nothing new.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When pussy-ass romans got ptsd we were fucking happy to die on the battlefield as hysterophemia (to be remembered after death) was our highest honor. Now we are fucking maggots :(.
EDIT: I'm Greek...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bah, that's nothing. Not only was dying in battle an honor for us, but those who fought valiantly also ascend to Valhalla to drink and feast with the gods and fight beside them during the final battle of Ragnarok.
EDIT: I'm a Viking...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ok yours is cooler, fuck off :D
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PLOT TWIST: I'm not really a Viking.
But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
poopdaddy2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If /r/askhistorians/ were a person, I would kiss him right on the mouth.
theurbanwaffle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I had to do that summer reading bullshit and I was reading Troy today and I was thinking about that.
jm419 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:01:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, at least it's about Troy and not about political correctness...
Tokentaclops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like those people where humans too :O
Cmyers1980 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to read this.
Do you have a link?
critfist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting.
5432nun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this is what you're referring to, but how big of a deal was PTSD in the ancient world?
Korvar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been hunting for the specific thing I found, but to no avail :) However, there's a whole section in the FAQ: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/wiki/war#wiki_post_traumatic_stress_disorder_before_the_modern_era
NutritiousSlop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully they mentioned the book Achilles in Vietnam. That was a great, eye-opening read.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
got a dollar? dan'd love to have it!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd wager a guess that PTSD from ancient times up until the Renaissance was probably more seeing the men you killed than recalling the terror of a firefight, especially since to kill them you had to be up close and personal most of the time.
greentreebrownbranch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Virgil's Aeneid, Aenias has visions of his dead kinsmen lamenting to him on his travel. A memory which could be interpreted as PTSD.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am on reddit mobile. May I ask you who said that? I am genuinely curious.
1dominator1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone seems to be assuming that the ancients were just like us psychologically. We have to remember that these were the same Roman legions that upon conquering a city took seeming delight in looting and burning, in slaughtering the men while rounding up the women and children into the slavers nets. Its important to remember that ancient Romans had a very different view of the morality of war and a very different attitude towards their enemies than we do today.
Musaks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It would really surprise me if somehow soneone clains that ptsd wasn't a thing back in those days. Battles were war more chaotic and gruesome than now...i believe the emotional and psycological scars that left could even be far worse than nowadays
Lockjaw7130 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading about soldiers from the Middle Ages definitely showing symptoms, like getting freaked out by the sound of metal hitting metal.
TheSkippySpartan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember an ancient history lecturer discussing Achilles having PTSD.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's tricky because war changed drastically in the 20th century. The image of two armies charging at each other swinging swords, clashing into each other at high speed, and the battle ending with bodies strewn all over the field is a Hollywood invention. Ancient battles were a lot more calculated. They also happened much more quickly and were generally over in a matter of minutes or hours.
World War I changed all that. The Soldiers and Commanders were used to previous wars where battles were over in a few hours. Now they found themselves embroiled in battles that lasted months. I think a lot of PTSD can be attributed not to warfare but particularly the modern methods we use. World War I soldiers were traumatized by the constant shelling, gas attacks, hearing their friends scream for hours in no-man's land, etc. None of these things were elements of ancient Roman battlefields.
bionku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The jokes on reddit are nice, but this is the stuff I love stumbling across.
Treyzania ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In The Iliad it is even referenced, albeit indirectly.
JumpingBean12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who has been to war and seen the horror, will have PTSD. Remember going into shock was once call brain fever.
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 00:13:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'PTSD' can only be fairly attributed to modernity though. Roman soldiers looked foreward to bloodshed, and would hope a town didn't surrender so they could sack it and rape the women. Public Executions were common in the ancient and medieval world. Even up until just recent times parents would bring their children to hangings to show them 'what happens when youre a bad person'. Extreme violence was just a part of their culture.
So while we are the same biologically to some extent, there are still social and enviornmental factors which need to be taken into account.
Arkansan13 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 00:27:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure I buy that. We don't really have anyway to say for certain that just because they may have been culturally conditioned to expect violence that they didn't suffer PTSD. Also saying "Roman soldiers looked forward to bloodshed" isn't really a verifiable statement. Which soldiers, how do we know? We can't sample the opinions of a large sample of Roman soldiers to know what the man on the ground was thinking. We can look at societal norms and draw inferences from those along with other sources but still just because a society praises martial virtues doesn't prove that it's warriors weren't traumatized by their experiences.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:37:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. That's like finding a bunch of ancient vhs tapes of Chuck Norris beating everyone's ass with a fist and concluding that Americans were, by and large, fierce and fearless hand-to-hand combatants.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do people not know the horrible things that went on in the Coliseum in Rome? I am being downvoted to shit for saying that the Romans are more violent than we were today, jesus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except when it actually dictates operations, and an army specifically acts in a manner in which to maximize bloodshed. Rushing a town specifically so it cannot surrender is one instance that comes to mind which is recorded frequently.
I'm not trying to say warriors were never traumatized by their experiences, I just believe it was a lot more rarer than in today's battles, where gunpowder adds in a whole other depth (artillery barrages/RPGs and IEDs), and armies are in contact with each other for weeks or months at a time, prolonging combat, whereas ancient battles you fought for hours once every few weeks/months/years. I also just believe it's important to not impress our morals and viewpoints onto those in the past.
Arkansan13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't know that we can say any of that with any certainty. Just because something is sometimes the best strategic and tactical option doesn't really have any bearing on the psychological impact.
I don't think we can really say too much about the rates of PTSD in the ancient world. While engagements today tend to be more prolonged and gunpowder is certainly horrific I don't think that individual battles were any less traumatic then. Think about two masses of men fighting line to line, close enough to look a man in the eyes when he goes, being covered in blood, sweat, piss, as metal clangs around you, hearing horses scream as they die, I mean it seems horrific to me.
I'm not so sure morals and viewpoints have much to do with the psychology of how PTSD occurs but rather how it is handled. We see PTSD occur in modern soldiers from vastly different cultures at fairly similar rates.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm saying the Romans deliberately took strategic options in order to maximize bloodshed. In order to be able to kill the men and rape the women. They would not do this if they did not want it.
Again, I believe you are attributing your own morals to those going into battle. You are fighting against an enemy that is very often alien to you, where there is hatred going across both sides.
They are still cultures which are nowhere near as violent and brutish as living in Rome was. I mean, senators beat Tiberius Grachus to death with pieces of furniture in the senate chamber. That screams of a society that is not like our own. We are much less desensitized to violence than they were, which would have an effect on how many people are traumatized from violence.
Arkansan13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you are missing what I'm saying or I'm not communicating it well. Simply because something was done as a strategically sound move doesn't in any way have a bearing on how the men carrying it out experience it.
I don't think Morals have all that much to do with how the human brain process trauma, social conventions and morals have more to do with how we handle that trauma after the fact.
Being desensitized to violence doesn't preclude one from being traumatized by it. Desensitized simply means that they have normalized the action through repetition and have developed their own method of coping with the inherent trauma.
I don't think something like PTSD is all that dependent on social values or morals, I think it's an inherent mechanism of the human mind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying it was a strategically sound move though. The strategic thing to do would have been to save energy and just let the town surrender. Instead the troops . I think it's Livy who records the troops being excited to rape and kill. I think you're underestimating the amount of sadists that were able to perform to their fullest degree. The enviornment literally fostered and encouraged that behaviour, while today it is drilled into our head from when we are young that killing is bad.
I'm saying morals have to do with how we interpret trauma. Take a kid from the inner city and chop off a chicken's head in front of him and he might puke. Do that with a kid from the country whose seen it a bunch of times, and is used to the reality of the situation and he will see it as nothing. To assume that the kid who is used to it is somehow mentally damaged (because you are projecting your own morals onto him) is just bad historical practice.
I don't believe PTSD is an inherent mechanism of the human mind because there just isn't enough sources on it. I understand ideas of masculinity have suppressed it, even up to the time of WW1 where it was simply labeled as 'cowardice', but I still believe people just adapted to the situation.
Also, every battle isn't Cannae. It's probably an instinct to just assume every battle was horrific and traumatizing when it was not.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:34:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think seeing a hanging or an execution is probably a lot different of an experience than taking another person's life. Also, you gotta take into consideration seeing your comrade soldier who you trained for battle with get his head sliced off by an enemy sword. That would probably be a scarring memory..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are putting your morals on people in the past and considering 'taking another persons life' as being some horrific thing to them as it is to you. I also believe the death of a comrade would dimply be channelled into rage at the enemy.
Also, with modern battles the forces are in contact with eachother for a prolonged time. In the ancient world there was a battle lasting a couple hours, then months of even years until more combat.
Johanatan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:33:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There have been anatomically modern humans for about a hundred and fifty thousand years fam
Techdecker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:35:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fam?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:50:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Techdecker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gotcha. So is it slang for 'family' then?
Johanatan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, all the hip darkies are using it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
lol. I added that in after I figured epigenetics means our genes are different. Dumb on my part.
cluelesssquared ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:39:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's so sad. That one keeps it humane.
MolemanusRex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, Ulysses Grant probably had it.
HonorAmongSteves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me, sweet lord, what is โt that takes from thee
Thy stomach, pleasure, and thy golden sleep?
Why dost thou bend thine eyes upon the earth
And start so often when thou sitโst alone?
Why hast thou lost the fresh blood in thy cheeks
And given my treasures and my rights of thee
To thick-eyed musing and curst melancholy?
In thy faint slumbers I by thee have watched,
And heard thee murmur tales of iron wars,
Speak terms of manage to thy bounding steed,
Cry โCourage! To the field!โ And thou hast talkโd
Of sallies and retires, of trenches, tents,
Of palisadoes, frontiers, parapets,
Of basilisks, of cannon, culverin,
Of prisoners' ransom and of soldiers slain,
And all the currents of a heady fight.
Thy spirit within thee hath been so at war,
And thus hath so bestirred thee in thy sleep,
That beads of sweat have stood upon thy brow
Like bubbles in a late-disturbรจd stream,
And in thy face strange motions have appeared,
Such as we see when men restrain their breath
On some great sudden hest. O, what portents are these?
Some heavy business hath my lord in hand,
Wings_of_Integrity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard it also called "being nostalgic" from that same era as well
-eons- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
also known as the "war willies"
acciaiomorti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Soldier's heart is when a soldier experiences shell shock and keeps fighting bravely.
Yerwun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, that's theorised to be a different, physical condition now known as Postural Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS).
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bless your heart.
artieziffVEVO ยท 169 points ยท Posted at 18:21:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
definitely. you used to hear about the 1000 yard stare too. I was taken aback by how she didn't even consider the possibility that maybe we've learned more about it, changed the name
bjc8787 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:31:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
George Carlin (one of the greatest comics ever) had a long stretch of material about how the name got changed to make PTSD/shell shock sound less severe than what it really was. (If you don't like edgy comedy or curse words, ignore this link, but if you like comedy and don't know what I'm talking about, click the fucking link already god damnit).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuEQixrBKCc
libcuck ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 00:55:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of women have an empathy gap for men and boys. An emotional dead-space for their suffering.
And before the liberal idiots and white-knights start frothing at the mouth about "muh soggy knees", the empathy gap is a well documented phenomenon. Look it up.
Stargos ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:44:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny that you warn off liberals and yet when I mention the female empathy gap or racial empathy gab i get called a liberal.
RelativetoZero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...and the cracks began to show.
libcuck ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:12:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Odd.
clockwerkman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:56:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thousand yard stare is generally shock, not PTSD.
Imocent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:12 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it means you can't help but always be looking for an enemy on the horizon. You never relax.
FuckinGoof ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:01:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why people are flipping out over your use of "shell shock". The term was poorly defined when it was in use, but it essentially referred to exceptionally negative psychological reactions to the stress of battle.
It was different from PTSD in the same way the archaic idea of demonic possession was different from the mental disorders to which it was applied -- it was a reflection of the state of society's limited understanding at time, but it was often applied to the same phenomena.
tl;dr Not everything that was called 'shell shock' would be considered PTSD today, but in many cases it would.
librarygal22 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:05:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So it's a bit like how PMS used to be known as "hysteria" back in the day (not that I'm saying it's as serious as PTSD...).
FuckinGoof ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:11:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great example.
Some behaviors considered normal today were labelled as symptoms hysteria in the 19th century. Emotional outbursts, strong sexual desires, etc. While hysteria often referred to things like schizophrenia, BPD, and so on, it also came with a lot of ignorance and quackery.
Similarly, a soldier who was just frozen in fear was often said to have shell shock. This is a major point of departure from PTSD -- being afraid when your life is in danger isn't necessarily a disorder, but in that cultural milieu cowardice was considered such an aberration that it was often treated as a psychological disturbance.
martinluther3107 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:24:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thousand yard stare
Grandpocalypse ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:51:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe shakespeare even wrote about it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:12:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that motherfucker covered everything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
beat me to it... he certainly did.
drthunderlovejr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:33:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather's cousin was "shell shocked" after the fighting in the trenches in WWI, they did not have a deep understanding of what PTSD was but it definitely existed
punzybobo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:49:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSp8IyaKCs0
Reminds me of this.
sakurashinken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
George carlin is awesome.
kschmidt62226 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Battle fatigue was a term also used. George Carlin actually did a skit talking about how the same condition changed terms over the years to make a horrible condition sound nicer. "Shell shock", then "Battle fatigue", then "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder"
Note: He wasn't making fun of the condition. He was mocking how "the establishment" kept making the term sound nicer, but it didn't change how bad the condition can be.
orky56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And in Turtles in Time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you read anatomy of an epidemic?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also the "thousand yard stare" in some places.
butterscotch_yo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
your post reminded me of this poem i read in a class. it's hard to read through it and believe that wilfred owen DIDN'T come home with PTSD after WWI.
Dulce et Decorum Est BY WILFRED OWEN
Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs,
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots,
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of gas-shells dropping softly behind.
Gas! GAS! Quick, boys!โAn ecstasy of fumbling
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time,
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And floundโring like a man in fire or lime.โ
Dim through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.
If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devilโs sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,โ
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.
boyferret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you ever get the chance listen to the whole "blueprints for Armageddon" podcast by Dan carlin. In one episode he talks about being shell shocked. There were people who's couldn't move ever again from the psychological damage done to them, because of the sustained combat. It's why we have the systems in place now that we do, allowing people recovery time. There was none of that in WWI at least at first.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait so what's the difference between shell shock and PTSD? I thought they were the same thing.
ironw00d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shell was a term used in ww1.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fact: The term Shell Shocked fell out of favor after the release of the popular kid action cartoon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Historytech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
there is the fact that before Vietnam it was much less likely that soldiers get PTSD because with Vietnam we had the invention of transport helicopters. You saw quite a bit more combat in quite a bit less time than at a time period such as WWI or something much further back.
Many soldiers may only deal with combat once a month or usually even less, whereas in Vietnam you could be in multiple battles constantly.
D4FTPUNKF4N ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shell shock was a great game.
quaestor44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
George Carlin has a great bit on this.
lovableMisogynist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently Knights suffered from horrific PTSD, although there is some great debates:
https://np.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/357ocd/did_soldiers_and_knights_in_the_middle_ages/
keno0651 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Watch Peaky Blinders on Netflix, it's about English gang members some suffering from PTSD after WWI. Also there is an ongoing WWI series. They post weekly videos to discuss that week 100 years previously, along with other great content.
hschupalohs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a great short story by Hemingway called 'Soldier's Home' that explores the notion of shell shock. The soldier returned from WWI to a hometown that was unchanged by the war from the perspective of a man who was drastically changed by it and how no one in town really understood what he was going through, nor did they really bother to understand.
manidude001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, didn't soldiers from long ago, suffer from this? I remember stories of knights who would would wake up screaming in middle of the night from nightmares of battle.
PichlerD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fitting. George Carlin on exactly those euphemisms https://youtu.be/hSp8IyaKCs0
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ptsd was also a little less common in veterans for 1 very important reason
After a war like world war 2, it could of taken months yo get back to the USA. Long train journeys and boat journeys with other soldiers. It helps to put some issues to bed.
Now you can go from Iraq and be home within 2 days.
Without the down time in between war and real world, people find it much harder to adjust
jwgrabo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The term "Shell shock" was actually coined in WWI by a British psychologist names Charles Myers
CyrillicFez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My English teacher told me the progression was:
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fox hole shakes
Oneiropticon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher share a theory that PTSD and similar conditions were less prevalent after those major wars because it took so long to come home. You pack all these soldiers who went through these traumatic experiences, more or less together, and send them home over the sea for a few weeks, and they go through a type of group therapy. These days they spend ten or twelve hours on a carrier plane, which is almost traumatic itself, and then get dumped them back into life with people who don't understand what happened.
Suns_Funs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are also constantly being mentioned in books from those days, e.g., Erich Maria Remarque in the "Black Obelisk" talks about people in hospitals for whom war never ended - they are still being burried under piles of mud during artilery fire, they are still being shot at.
alsdjkhf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I think now it's officially "Combat Stress".
ou-est-charlie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The french name "obusite" was indeed very close to shell shocking as this "new" disease was correlated with the widespread use of artillery.
archaicScrivener ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe in WW1 they referred to it as "neurosthenia" because they thought for a while it was literally your nerves being shredded by the fighting, rather than anything psychological. If my English Literature studies did not lie to me, it was a man named Dr. W.H.R. Rivers who first came up with the idea of the "talking cure" that we have today (At least to deal with soldiers I think)
Crotch_Snorkel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
George Carlin does an excellent bit about this
LTVOLT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it was shell shock after Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in Time for Super Nintendo
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nooooo no no. shell shock was/is completely different. from wikipedia
i haven't looked into it but i'm pretty sure psychological issues caused by war just weren't discussed back in those days.
FuckinGoof ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:51:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also wikipedia
owlyoudoin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:03:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the day, basically any mental problems were lumped together under "psycho crazy who needs to be locked up for their own good". Depression, postpartum depression, PTSD, anything. It was a weakness of character. Soldiers used to actively avoid being sent home for battle fatigue/shell shock because they saw it as being sent away for being too weak.
(By back in the day I'm specifically referring to WWI/II, but it was probably like that farther back, too.)
mavvv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It almost eliminated counseling psychology because their roles almost always overlapped at the time - dealing with war veterans.
mr_Apricot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, widespread opium addiction amongst veterans of the civil war.
MySecretAccount1214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought shell shock was when a mortar round or large artillery hit near you and stunned you either temporary blinding you or the ringing in the ear.
owlyoudoin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, any long term negative mental effects soldiers experienced were considered shell shock. It was, as far as I can tell, considered just longer lasting result.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:14:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shell shocked is different I thought
JohnPeel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically, it's complicated:
http://www.nhs.uk/news/2015/01January/Pages/Shellshock-remains-unsolved.aspx
NeDictu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:20:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
shell shock isn't the same as ptsd.
HiddenKrypt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:37:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it didn't. Shell Shock is now just "shock". It may pass quickly with no long term issues, or it may result in PTSD. It's a different thing. In WWI, the term for what we now call PTSD was Malingering, and was possibly a reason for a court martial. When we identified PTSD as a real psychological issue, we recognized it as something worth treating with respect. George Carlin was a great comic, but on this one he was wrong.
SirGingelot ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:53:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shell shock and PTSD aren't the same thing. PTSD can be any form of trauma, Shell Shock is the trauma caused by the intensity of the bombardments.
TheThirdWheel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:05:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shell shock was different, the constant concussions from artillery barrages actually caused physical brain damage. I am not downplaying PTSD, but shell shock was horrific.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:12:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I too saw that one George Carlin bit.
PixelLight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:12:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't study much history then? It's pretty well known if you've studied world war I at all.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:28:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or because this was at the top of r/videos a few days ago.
PixelLight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:40:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dumb cunt. How can shell shock be a new term to you? I doubt people need Carlin to tell them what shell shock is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who said it was?
PixelLight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're acting like it is by referencing a recent post as if that would be where they learnt it from rather than it being pretty common knowledge.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's hardly going to be at the forefront of people's knowledge.
I'm going to take a wild guess and say he only brought it up in response to a comment about PTSD because he saw that exact same thing in a funny video on reddit a few days ago.
PixelLight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:25:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree personally.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever.
stupidcommensaccount ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:17:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, but you are incorrect. Shell shock is different and not to be confused with PTSD
MirthMannor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:37:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shell shock -> battle fatigue -> post traumatic stress disorder -> PTSD
Notice how at each step it gets bigger, filled with more Latin, and deflated of meaning, until we finally arrive at an acronym, the cockroach of language, that has no obvious meaning whatsoever to someone who has never encountered it.
You go from something descriptive and honest to something you have to be told about or be a member of a jargon speaking community to know.
Aegeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see what makes the earlier terms more "honest." For instance, it would be weird to say that a rape survivor suffers from "shell shock" when they're 1000 miles away from any exploding shells. Jargon usually gets invented to be more precise, not less so.
Anyway, as a layman, you're free to call it whatever the fuck you want if you aren't familiar with the official acronym. It's not like the Euphemism Police started arresting people who didn't use the newer acronyms, it just naturally worked its way into common usage.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:46:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its name has been changed a few times, started out as "shell-shock", Vietnam might have been around the time PTSD became the official name for the disorder if i remember correctly. George Carlin did a bit on it in one of his stand-ups.
ThomMcCartney ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:49:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And he was totally off base about it too.
BDMayhem ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:59:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you elaborate?
ThomMcCartney ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:58:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Well, for one thing it went shell shock-> battle fatigue-> PTSD because doctors learned more about what causes PTSD and that it's not just caused by being in a warzone. The older names stem from a misunderstanding of why people in warzones react the way they do.
Post traumatic stress disorder is a mouthful, yes, but it's also a more accurate and descriptive name in the same way that hysteria is now understood to be a whole host of different conditions.
edit :formatting
ThunderCuuuunt ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:49:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSp8IyaKCs0
1. How is PTSD "sterile"?
Certainly "battle fatigue" or "operational exhaustion" are euphemisms, but "post-traumatic stress disorder" emphasizes (a) trauma, and (b) the fact that the condition lasts a long time. "Shell shock", on the other hand, makes it seem like you got dazed and maybe need a stiff drink and a good night's sleep.
2. Shell shock is not the only kind of lasting trauma.
The phrase PTSD is useful because it is not a euphemism, but unites similar symptoms that occur in people who have experienced trauma for any number of reasons, often compounded by betrayal either by family, community, country, or just the illusion of safety and control in life.
3. Vietnam wasn't special.
People with combat-related PTSD, whatever the language around the phrase, have been betrayed after returning from war since time immemorial. That's not some new phenomenon following American defeat in Vietnam.
edit: I certainly said certainly like three times certainly in that first sentence; that was certainly too many.
DaSaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They called it "shell shock" during World War 1 because the symptoms finally got so physical they thought the cause might be, too, (and could no longer dismiss it as "plain old cowardice") and thought maybe the continuous concussive force of the noise from constantly exploding shells might be the cause. But that wasn't it. They literally went foaming-at-the-mouth mad from the constant, inescapable stress.
ThomMcCartney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In fact, wasn't Vietnam the first time that the VA started offering long term psychiatric treatment?
Bazoun ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:40:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had an acquaintance tell me she got over her PTSD in a week by thinking positively.
I had another tell me I shouldn't throw around terms like that - I'm not a soldier so I couldn't have PTSD.
I guess the psychiatrist who diagnosed me wasn't as smart as you. And the long road to recovery I've been on could have all been avoided if I have just turned that frown upside down.
Yeah, I got those people out of my life.
ZombyTed ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:25:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need those people in your life.
MeppeKR ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 18:57:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What. An. Idiot.
And on that topic, I've had it with people who assume that everyone with PTSD has either been in combat or been raped.
feex3 ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 20:54:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Traumatic cat crash, checking in. Been three years.
Ninja edit: car crash. But the mental image of a cat crash is funny so I'll leave it.
Pun-Master-General ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:56:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if you're being serious and misspelled car or making a joke about cats.
feex3 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:48:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was being serious, and Swype decided to fuck with my spelling. It was a horrific crash. I was low speed, the other guy was doing about 55-60 when he slammed me. I couldn't use my left arm and shoulder for almost six months, among many other injuries. I also sustained a TBI (traumatic brain injury) to the auditory processing center of my brain, so my hearing is kinda fucked now.
I came away with PTSD to the point where I would panic and shake and throw up if I got into a car. I'm doing a lot better now, but it's still there. Meds and therapy have gotten me to the point where I can drive again, but I still get iffy sometimes. My last full-blown panic attack was about three months ago.
tiger8255 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:05:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad you're doing better, and sorry that happened to you.
feex3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:08:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you :) I'm really proud of how far I've made it. Things were really iffy for a while and everything spiraled out of control. But I'm doing so much better now :)
Pun-Master-General ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through something like that. It's good that you seem to be doing much better, though!
feex3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you; I am :) day by day
lightwell ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:48:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When my aunt tried to resuscitate my father. In my pt and athletic trainer classes they demonstrated cpr and smacking the persons chest with both hands to restart the heart. When the professor showed us I had a flashback to that moment with my aunt screaming his name. I came back gripping the desk so hard my hands were white. I was completely there, reliving the moment for 10 seconds. I often think how Much more horrible it would be if it was a combat experience, and scarier for bystanders too.
feex3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, man. Flashbacks are the worst, and that shaken feeling can take forever to go away after it happens. I'm so sorry about your dad, and I'm so sorry you had to witness it... internet hugs
Spoor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did it look something like this?
kpyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm I was in a pretty horrific car crash when I was about 7. I was the only one conscious afterwards and I still remember most of. From hanging upside down from my seat belt, to the guy that t-boned us laying in the street after going through his windshield. I was pretty much unscathed. The rest of my family wasn't as lucky but no one died at least. 20 years later and my sister is still affected by the brain damage she sustained, but you wouldn't be able to tell if no one told you.
feex3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty great that you were so lucky!
kpyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I got pretty lucky. I didn't get PTSD and I'm not sure how much it affected me mentally. I was pretty young. I can see how it can be very traumatic for people though. Get well, friend.
RobinsEggTea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a lot of trouble expressing my experience in detail but it has a lot to do with fire alarms, intense physical pain and being unable to get out.
The incident happened nearly ten years ago and the last time I was crippled by it was last fall.
_From_The_Internet_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most common traumatic event in the U.S.: vehicle collisions
Most likely to induce PTSD: sexual assault
Most likely to be complicated: prolonged periods with multiple traumatic events such as combat or police work
Sloppy1sts ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, the VA is clogged with an inordinate amount of fake PTSD claims.
zamuy12479 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:38:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The terminology of calling it PTSD is a recent invention.
But shell shock, war mind, trench madness, PTSD, the eye of hell, etc etc has been around since longer than recorded history.
angle4evur ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:22:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is said that Ajax suffers from PTSD in the Sophoclean play about him which was written 2500 years ago
CarrionComfort ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Menaleus had it, probably. After everyone cried about those lost in the war,
She drugged the wine and then started to tell "fun" stories about the war. This severe medication is likely a regular occurence.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:17:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Can you imagine the mental scarring of being in a medieval battle? Hacking other people's limbs with giant knives, blood everywhere, the constant screaming of pain and agony. Bashing somone's head in with a metal boot while he's staring right at you, with fear in his eyes..
wellitsbouttime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
and chances are if you actually were seeing this, you would be dead in the next ten minutes. try to keep your composure to live while seeing all that shit.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:21:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good lord, I recently had the chance to talk to my grandpa who served in the Vietnam War and he still has trouble telling me some stuff. I finally convinced him to tell me the story of how he lost his eye in combat. Yeah your friend is naive at best.
ZombyTed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa talked to grandma about Normandy, once, and that was it. Apparently it was pretty bad.
Jughead- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:13:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The belief that the diagnosis creates the problem is not uncommon among really stupid people.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:42:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While the condition is as old as time, the name "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder" is more general and really is relatively new. All the other names they use to call it were related to soldiers and combat, but anyone can suffer PTSD outside of combat, it's just soldiers are put in much more stressful situations than the general population will ever experience.
wENTtobuyweed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Invention....
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell your friend to read "On Killing" although they sound like they don't read.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please go kick that person in the teeth.
Xanza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Parysian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad says this. Says people were more grounded then and capable of getting over things like that. But he's always been of the opinion that previous generations were morally superior to ours. I can't even.
Neologizer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's like learning about cortisol and drawing the conclusion that stress wasn't a thing until we decided on what to call it.
Joy_Ride25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, but that's not a phrase.
Stephen1985 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ptsd didnt exist in the same way gravity didnt exist until newton.
thebbman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:46:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My future mother-in-law is dating a man with PTSD who did several tours in Vietnam. That shit ain't funny.
HalbyStarcraft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
gotta call rule violation, as you described him as a friend, whom you presumably don't dislike.
arah91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is some truth to that. Mental disorders seem to be very particular to the society and person who manifests them. We can read about symptoms similar to PTSD all the way back to the roman times, but when we take a closer look at what the individual manifestations of it are in an individual it varies from WWI to WWII to Vietnam, etc. Though I will say there is nothing you can do that wont leave you changed.
Twitch92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps he meant the term, and not the condition?
MeppeKR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd want to believe that, but he also said that soldiers didn't come home changed before Vietnam.
_TheBgrey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well I think the term PTSD is fairly new, but the disorder has been around forever, it just had different names.
bickbastardly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
George carlin has a great rant on this topic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to bash George Carlin's head in after watching that one skit. He just spent ten minutes bitching about a serious condition slowly gaining medical recognition.
SmellsOfTeenBullshit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Knights were known to have suffered PTSD in the Middle Ages.
p_velocity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They have always had concussions in football, but back in the day they used to just say "he got his bell rung"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to break up the circlejerk, but PTSD in soldiers that were in Vietnam IS/WAS noticeably worse compared to soldiers from more recent conflicts. In undergrad I had a lecture from a PhD candidate that was studying PTSD, and her research centred around studying the social and cultural influences of PTSD. Basically her thesis revolved around the idea that soldiers returning from wars that the public opposed (most notably Vietnam), develop much more severe PTSD symptoms. On the other hand, soldiers returning from publicly supported conflicts rarely experience PTSD, even after controlling for the circumstances they fought in. Your friend might have skewed the phrasing a little by saying it came into existence only after Vietnam, but it's not actually that idiotic of a statement.
Very_Sharpe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They may have had other names for it as others have commented, but it didn't stop soldiers being shot by their superiors for "cowardice" right through WWII it was still happening
alexisXcore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My gf though that cows and bulls eat meat...
i swear to god, she is smart, that was just... a "brain fart"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's ancient stories featuring soldiers that lost their minds from the horrors of war.
funny-irish-guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interestingly, some historians speculate that rates have gone up, now that soldiers are more likely to survive previously deadly combat situations.
Joevual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TemporarySockAccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There's a condition in combat. Most people know about it. It's when a fighting person's nervous system has been stressed to it's absolute peak and maximum. Can't take anymore input. The nervous system has either (click) snapped or is about to snap.
In the first world war, that condition was called shell shock. Simple, honest, direct language. Two syllables, shell shock. Almost sounds like the guns themselves.
That was seventy years ago. Then a whole generation went by and the second world war came along and very same combat condition was called battle fatigue. Four syllables now. Takes a little longer to say. Doesn't seem to hurt as much. Fatigue is a nicer word than shock. Shell shock! Battle fatigue.
Then we had the war in Korea, 1950. Madison avenue was riding high by that time, and the very same combat condition was called operational exhaustion. Hey, we're up to eight syllables now! And the humanity has been squeezed completely out of the phrase. It's totally sterile now. Operational exhaustion. Sounds like something that might happen to your car.
Then of course, came the war in Viet Nam, which has only been over for about sixteen or seventeen years, and thanks to the lies and deceits surrounding that war, I guess it's no surprise that the very same condition was called post-traumatic stress disorder. Still eight syllables, but we've added a hyphen! And the pain is completely buried under jargon. Post-traumatic stress disorder.
I'll bet you if we'd of still been calling it shell shock, some of those Viet Nam veterans might have gotten the attention they needed at the time. I'll betcha. I'll betcha." - George Carlin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
marryanowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird that you mention that. I actually have heard elderly veterans say very similar things. It's almost like there is a belief that the wars that occurred prior to Vietnam were more justifiable and because of that less vets came home with shellshock/PTSD. Obviously it's untrue.
melikeybouncy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My senior thesis in college was on this topic. My primary argument was that ptsd rates are only higher with Vietnam vets because it was diagnosed better in the post Vietnam era. Also the long term effects were less devastating (on a macro scale) for WWII vets because they returned from the war to a hero's welcome and a booming job market. They were heroes who protected and defended the nation from enemy threats that were unanimously considered evil. They knew that their efforts had achieved some good and could justify some of the horrors of war because they could see how the world was a better place because of what they went through. Vietnam veterans had the exact opposite experience. They came home to a nation that was directing their anger with the war at the veterans. Calling them baby killers, expecting them to be drug addicted and drunk (which becomes a "self fulfilling prophecy") and not trusting them with the few jobs that were available in the not so booming economy. They couldn't see how life was better in the United states or in Vietnam because of their efforts, because it really wasn't. Point of the story: war protests are for politicians, always support the troops.
CyberneticPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Patton pretty much torpedoed his almost inevitable political career by slapping a guy with shell shock in the face at a military hospital during WW2. He was killed shortly after in a traffic accident and spared having his reputation completely crumble.
Username___I ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
amazing
alumunum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend might be misinterpreting some studies on the societal differences that meant that soldiers returning from the two wars faced very different environments. And this only focuses on PTSD related to warfare, and not variety of ANY stressors. PTSD can be defined as simply as disproportionate reaction to stimuli after stress and can be as simple as a lover overreacting to any contact between their partner and a member of the opposite sex after they have been cheated on.
But since you are talking about war context, and Vietnam specifically then your friend is kinda right. First off Vietnam lasted 8 years and american involvement in WW2 only 2.
Post WW2 every serviceman was standing up to genocide it was the most honorable and selfless act to go to war. Specifically american soldiers were not drafted, everyone was a volunteer. When they returned a relatively short time later, they were sung accolades, their families were waiting for them and were there to support them. All the horrors that they experienced, they were thanked and celebrated for.
Post Vietnam, the veterans, who were either drafted or fought alongside drafted soldiers were completely rejected by society. They came back 3-7 years later without families(free love, less christian values, longer period gone than any ww2 soldier) were abused and ostracized. Having to deal with the PTSD in isolation while the majority of society would label them baby killers, meant that they had a very different response to it and the problems were exacerbated post Vietnam war specifically.
TL:DR Your friend needs to learn to explain themselves better.
mrziplockfresh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It also has to do with how soft and babied people are now.
ktappe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Show them The Best Years Of Our Lives.
justshortofordinary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Equally, I despise when someone claims to have PTSD - generally because their parents didn't buy them that PS2 15 years ago (holy fuck do I feel old now)
AsherRoss69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This statement is honestly incredible.
Anagatam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PTSD was only recently listed in the DSM. Fresh Air/NPR did a show recently about medical diagnoses that change over time. They mentioned PTSD is new. They referenced "Hysteria" for women as being a common diagnoses in the past. Maybe she heard this show?
WhenSnowDies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
....aaaaaactually that's not so rare a view, or outlandish; that is, from the perspective of somebody who was there. It's sort of asinine to instantly dislike somebody for that, and I'll tell you why.
After Vietnam the soldiers did not receive a hero's welcome, and didn't return to a country in victory. Vietnam was basically a failure and veterans were treated with contempt by many as murderers, drug addicts, etc. Since then the Boomers have a sort of "white guilt"-like response to their rejection of the vets, and believed that PTSD was actually caused by the betrayal that vets felt. The Boomers felt that they had traumatized the war weary, vulnerable veterans, and PTSD was the consequence.
Given the victorious aftermath of WWII, GI Bill, GIs getting married upon return and having families--the post-WWII PTSD cases were swept way, waaaaay under the rug and into the back of asylums, bars, and graves. It took the introspective atmosphere of the post-Vietnam era for America to look at itself, look at war and really look at veterans, to acknowledge and realize the realities of PTSD.
So it's not "wrong" to see PTSD as a recent invention per se, because it wasn't exactly in the popular culture beforehand, and afterward folklore many Boomers was that scrambled veterans was their fault and a unique situation due to their social rejection and hatred. This attitude persisted, and it was only with the more recent wars in the Middle East that PTSD was acknowledged by popular culture as a serious condition of war in general, not just clusterfuck wars like Vietnam and a rejecting populace.
That said, the dismissive attitude towards veterans in the 70s and 80s by the people and government, and financial problems at home, probably did exacerbate the problem of PTSD more than usual.
waywardwoodwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has been discussed quite a few times in r/AskHistorians.
Check this out for if you're interested. I do recommend it.
It's some fascinating stuff. As much of a consensus as there can be, it seems that the negative psychological effects of war on soldiers varied depending on the conditioning of the soldiers โ whether "professional" or not โ and the tactics of war at the time โ how much physical engagement with the enemy occurred, and in what capacity.
It can't be overstated how modern warfare has dramatically altered the scale of impact. PTSD is a modern definition, and historical analogues are incomplete.
walterpeck1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother was a VA nurse post WWII and told me as a small child one of her patients came home from the war convinced he was an orange.
That anecdote got less funny every year I remembered it.
HereComesBadNews ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It drives me nuts when people say we "didn't have" dietary sensitivities, certain illnesses, seemingly modern social problems, or anything of that sort "back in the day" like things were so much better then. Mother fucker, it's not new, we just didn't know how to address it. Be happy we've got so much technology that we can actually address this stuff nowadays and live longer, healthier lives.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grand father claimed he spent his entire 3.5 years overseas during WW2 just tending air force runways. He had a bunch of medals. He was either clearly effected by some horrible shit he saw or extremely modest
yuckyucky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
war has, no doubt, always been psychologically devastating to many (or most?) participants. military authorities suppressed discussion of this issue in the past because they thought it would affect recruitment.
5yearsinthefuture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
queue George Carlin
masamunecyrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't seem to find the stats right now, but though older wars were hideously brutal and violent, soldiers saw substantially fewer days of active combat compared to today's soldiers (WWII only saw something like ~40 days active combat per soldier for the whole war).
To put it to an example, imagine you're a soldier in WWII. You're going to spend a great deal of your time moving around or being stationary. When you do go to battle, somewhere like in Normandy, it's hell on earth, and chances are you're going to die. But if you do survive, the battle is won--it's over until the next one.
Compare that to today. Wars aren't nearly as brutal. The casualties are orders of magnitude lower. But soldiers, today, go out on patrols day after day, and any man, woman, or child could be an enemy. The enemy is shadowy and lurks everywhere, and soldiers are just bombarded with that day in and day out for months at a time.
So while soldiers, today, aren't storming beaches with tank shells and machine guns raining down on them from every direction, they're instead dealing with an invisible enemy that could be anywhere. While older soldiers could "turn off" when the battle was won and thank God they're still alive, soldiers today have a much lower chance of death, but the battles are endless. There is no time for them to relax and "turn off" the paranoid battle mode.
Many people suggest this is a major cause of the higher PTSD rates, today.
Rixxer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he meant the word/diagnosis? Or, he could have misinterpreted- heard that the word was new, but took it as the actual illness bring new.
Or he's an idiot. Honestly they all seem pretty plausible to me.
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. That is obnoxious! I suffer from PTSD (not from combat). I would be pissed off if someone said that to me.
bookingly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, of course it's bullshit that war causes extreme trauma that has mental and physiological effects. /s
Just check out some of the fucked up stuff that people came down with due to fighting during WWI with lovely youtube videos such as this one.
rogercopernicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There always has been people coming home fucked up. But when soldiers came home back in the day, it was easier because people were on a boat for a month with people who went through the same thing as you. When the Vietnam War came along you had people who in 24 hours went from fighting in the jungle to back at home. Fuck ed them up pretty bad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, George Patton would agree with her.
Woyaboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know somebody that tried telling me that oil is just secretions from the earth and that it never runs out. How the fuck do you even argue with these people? And when I just stop talking to them they still keep running there mouth.
UniqueSteve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was a story on NPR where they talked about professionals dropping the term "disorder" because it's really not. You go off to war and you see some traumatic, indescribably awful things it can seriously effect you. It's not abnormal or a disorder, it's human.
Phlash_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He watched a George Carlin skit about society renaming more morbid terms like dying to "passing away". He mentions this specifically.
malentendus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend wasn't exactly wrong, except "invention" is the wrong word. During WWII, the average active-duty soldier saw combat once every 120 days, or so. During Vietnam, the average soldier saw combat 1 out of 3 days, or something like that. It was a really drastic shift, and the result was vastly higher rates of PTSD and drug abuse.
OuttaSightVegemite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
URGH. When feminazis say they got PTSD from being "triggered" by a patriarchy post.
No. They don't get what being triggered is like. A war vet gets triggered when he (or she) hears a car backfire, or when he hears his kid make a loud noise. He's triggered when he can't see an exit or has someone approach him from behind.
A sexual assault victim is triggered when she (or he) has someone touch them without consent...a hand on a shoulder can make her feel her attacker's hands on her all over again.
Not something to be taken lightly.
Coos-Coos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does he explain Kurt Vonnegut?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shakespeare diagnosed PTSD. Itโs been around way longer than the 20th century.
NawtAGoodNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a master's student who plans to get a clinical Ph.D. and specialize in trauma disorders, I absolutely hate when people treat mental disorders like they were "made up" or don't exist. There is nothing more infuriating.
solepsis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It certainly existed, but industrialized war over the past century and a half or so have really turned the dial up to eleven.
That constant streets from the back-of-the-mind understanding that you could literally cease to exist at any moment with zero notice because someone dozens of miles away fired a shell (or later a missile) is something that was only added to war around the 1870s.
So yeah, about a hundred years before Vietnam.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
George Carlin has something to say about that.
Also, motorcycle gangs originated with WW2 veterans that society refused to acknowledge were mentally scarred.
_From_The_Internet_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PTSD as a diagnosis came out just after the Vietnam War. The phenomenon still existed beforehand, however it wasn't conceptualized the same way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They basically hid their emotions and didnt 'talk about the war'.
PassionVoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't a phrase people say. This is very specific thing one person said.
SoftwareShogun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know PTSD has been around ever since the first wars, but what was it like for say a Roman Legion? Was it worse for them since it was more physical?
Frames__Janco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was invented when tumblr was founded
aksumighty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was discussing the movie Patton with a friend (who went on to become a Ranger), specifically about the shell-shocked guy that Patton slapped across the face, and said completely serious, "Yeah that guy was just a pussy". Then he said his dad was a pussy because he voted for Obama. I don't really talk to that guy anymore...
-73- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got this recently too. I work for the VA, we can now see physical manifestations inside the brain of sufferers of PTSD. It's real, it's physical - no different than any other war wound only it isn't outwardly visible like a missing limb.
savemejebus0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit my republican (of course) uncle tried to tell me it was made up because, get this, his dad came back and he was fine. Really sucks for all those soldiers faking it.
bolthead88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes they did! My dad's best friend hanged himself in our house when he was on a two-week leave from Vietnam. My mom and dad talked about how different he was after returning from Vietnam.
IncendiaryGames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to support your friend as he is obviously mistaken but the PTSD rates were much much worse in Vietnam. In previous wars the troops were able to be cycled from the front lines more often and giving them more rest. It was very rare that a back line hospital was attacked in WWII while in Vietnam almost nowhere was safe.
For the most part in WWII the fights were slightly less barbaric as there was less conditioning on soldiers on both sides. People were less likely to shoot to kill. In Vietnam both us and the enemy were much more out for blood. By then our military had much better conditional training where soldiers would reflexively shoot to kill even if they really didn't want to. That training quite dramatically elevated rates of PTSD as well.
releasethepr0n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what else? Viruses also didn't exist in the 11th century. They were created by Big Pharma to sell medicine. #openYourEyesSheeple
baumer6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, that old phrase!
hyperformer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wrote a paper on this. Battle fatigue wasn't really seen as an issue until psychologists around WWI-II decided to call it PTSD and learned how to diagnose and treat it IIRC.
[deleted] ยท 4402 points ยท Posted at 15:38:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I briefly dated a girl whose catchphrase was "Yeah, that's a good ideal."
Yeah...briefly dated.
Fancy-Bear1776 ยท 2611 points ยท Posted at 16:48:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You broke up with her? Yeah, that's a good ideal.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:19:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally
Bladelink ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:22:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You son of a bitch.
beastcake ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:14:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good riddance. Yeah, that's a good ideal Tryin to make a change :-/
KlaatuBrute ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:30:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good fuckin yard.
HugeAmountofDerp ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:36:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love u. c u monday.
CircaSurvivor55 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:38:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want whatever you guys are drinking... so I don't have to remember what you wrote.
even_less_resistance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just tryin to make a change
theVice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:58:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just trying to stay current
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:52:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
getting anal is ideal
gngl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because he had an even better ideal. ;)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
rekt
Kima_L ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Just Playing
sophietheenglish ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:16:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you the girl he dated??
ThatIsMyHat ยท 441 points ยท Posted at 18:21:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some ideals are good. Maybe she just wanted to talk about philosophy.
reddittatwork ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:04:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe churros were ideal for her
lordofthederps ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:04:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He was out of ideals.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:56:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She could also have been a Maths major.
sehrschun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:14:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
5Z \subset Z "Yeah, that's a prime ideal"
osirisphotography ยท 1350 points ยท Posted at 17:52:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"hey honey would you like to get some churrrrrrrros?"
"yeah, that's a good ideal"
"what the fuck does that mean?"
spm615 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 23:52:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Churros are an ideal I aspire to
thecosmicgoose ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:52:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shouldn't we all?
OmegaDrebin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...one nation....under churros, with liberty and churros for all...
BadgersForChange ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:55:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, my ideal time is getting and then consuming churros. So, yeah. Getting churros is a good idea.
puff2u ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:56:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what's the difference between 'ideal' and 'idea'
BadgersForChange ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:10:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The letter L
puff2u ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
now i feel i am a such a fool, thanks
wejustwontbedefeated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Better a fool than a foo.
puff2u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh man, you are so serious to me.
spermface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" ar
I_FAP_TO_TURKEYS ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:16:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a good idea to get churros?
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 20:23:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
I_FAP_TO_TURKEYS ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:31:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn right it is
wilsonwa ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:10:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have no ideal as to whats up do you?
I_FAP_TO_TURKEYS ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:23:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea"l"...
ZeMeepo23 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:49:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why do you fap to Turkey
I_FAP_TO_TURKEYS ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:26:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not? It's hot!
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:47:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, that's a good deal.
axepig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean it's a good iDeal
Kell08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apple has a good iDeal.
macweirdo42 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:58:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about you, but I think churros are an ideal that all other snack foods should live up to.
willyolio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that getting churros is a pinnacle of morality that is worth striving for.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Idealy you could be having churros. Thats a nice ideal
pudgycaveman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Perhaps she was being zen.
ย
EDIT: fix link
AiKantSpel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It means getting a churro is a good ideal to set for yourself as it is easy to attain. Going out to get the philosophers stone is probably a bad ideal because it's probably impossible.
Sephiroso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means the ideal to get churrrrrros is a good one. Did you hit your head honey?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmmm churros
balloonpoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's your example? Am I missing some inside reddit joke? what the fuck is that?
osirisphotography ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:D
tilywinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's a portmanteau? It's a good idea and a good deal. Aka a good ideal.
cardriverx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My god there is a churro place on the Redondo beach pier that is so fucking good. I may walk down there now. Oh god I dunno how they do it.
osirisphotography ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's ideally made by people with ideal ideals.
GReggzz732 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That comment made me fart a chuckle out me mouth... It sounded like "mmhmkhafl!". That's a feat consider how miserable I am because it's the morning and I have to go to work. If I had $10 dollars to throw around all willy-nilly, I'd give you gold.
osirisphotography ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha, well that's ideal!
GReggzz732 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Da fuq?
JuggernautV2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:47:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ideal is a fuckin payment system in my country
clairvoyantMongoose ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 18:56:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also briefly dated a girl with an aweful catchphrase. She would say "are you cereal?" instead of "are you serious?"
That was 15 years ago and the hate is still strong, I'm getting mad just typing this.
eddie_pls ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 20:59:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but was she super cereal?
also: was she obsessed with hunting manbearpig?
also: did she run for president that one time?
FuckinGoof ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:39:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like she was saying it 4 years before that South Park was a thing. I'm 95% sure OP dated Matt Stone.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 20:02:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is worse than "are you cereal?"
anon445 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cereal Sea.
ilovelsdsowhat ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A spelling mistake?
cdude ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:43:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Aweful"? Are you cereal?
superastronaut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
was she actually Al Gore?
reddittatwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That would make me hate cereal
LeeroyJankness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The girl I'm currently talking to always says "mental mindfuck," no matter how many times I tell her its redundant.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:14:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was going to post this one - when people say ideal instead of idea. Glad I ctr+f'ed this page. Wait..
hecknotechno1 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 18:15:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i wasnt sure if it was a typo. people say "ideal" instead of "idea"?
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:30:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. It's a southern thing. I've lived in TN half my life, and many people say that down here. Other southern phrases include "put it up" meaning put it away, "bless his heart", they call lunch "dinner" and dinner "supper", and they refer to any potential soft drink as "coke". This isn't an inaccurate stereotype - these things really happen.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:15:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's a Tennessee thing. I've lived in Georgia and Alabama all my life and I don't think I've ever heard anyone say "ideal" instead of idea. "Idear" is a different story, but when I hear people say that they're usually joking.
Tigerbot ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:46:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also from TN, I have never heard lunch be called dinner. Dinner and supper are interchangeable, but calling lunch "dinner" is just wrong.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:29:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call my breakfast "dinner" and my dinner "Ryan." I'm from the "south." By which I mean the north. Yeah, I guess you can say I'm pretty random.
000l ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Take all my money.
Syujinkou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:25 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...put that spork down.
grandim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something that comes from Louisiana, dinner and souper are the French terms.
myhairsreddit ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:38:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is put it up a southern thing? I lived in Suburban Northern VA for a good portion of my life with plenty of city people and heard put it up quite often.
Jellyfiend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Marylander here, I've never heard that phrase before. Could it be a moderate southern thing? Given that it's common in Northern VA I'm surprised I've never heard it here, considering the close proximity.
Sirrianne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from suburban Northern VA and I have never heard that.
Sirrianne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from suburban Northern VA and I have never heard that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm. Perhaps not just a southern thing then. I'm originally from MA, so it was new to me when I moved to TN.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:00:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just a turn of phrase. "Put it away" is no more "accurate".
Saying "ideal" is totally different as you're using the wrong word.
Same with saying "bless his heart" and using "supper" instead of "dinner". Just cultural idiosyncracies. Nothing wrong or right about doing it either way.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:16:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one said it was wrong. Just admiring the differences.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah gotcha
FuckinGoof ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:47:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's also an Atlantic Canada thing. Weird that it isn't anywhere in between.
GodsOfTheGrey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:58:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's technically an Appalachian / Ozarkian thing. My mom is from rural Missouri, and her mispronunciation of "idea" as "ideal" got me my first misspelled word on the elementary school spelling test.
That said, my dad is from Mississippi, my brother was raised in Louisiana, and I was raised in Kansas, and my mom was the only one to do this. So I don't think it's as simple as being either "Southern" or "Midwestern".
My family all had weird speech idiosyncrasies. My brother would pronounce "th" as "f", causing "death" and "deaf" to be homophones. My dad would change "or" to "ahr", saying things like "darr" for "door" and "arr-enj" for "orange". I always struggled with the common Midwestern "ih" vs. "eh"; when I was a kid, "pin" and "pen" were both pronounced "pin".
shmaltz_herring ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:42:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Dinner is the big meal. So if you're having a big meal on Sunday at lunch time, it's called Sunday dinner. Usually the big meal of the day is at supper time so they are interchangeable. Thanksgiving dinner is another example. Doesn't matter if it's at lunch time or in the evening, it's still dinner. Whereas supper is used exclusively for the evening meal. It's not necessarily southern as I'm from Kansas.
Edit: it confused me a little growing up.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:42:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I'm glad you clarified that. That makes more sense to me now.
paganize ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In TN now, but raised in Illinois and lived...everywhere, pretty much, since. "Put it up" I've heard everywhere but the new England states. In TN I hear "idear" much more often than "ideal", never came across anyone calling lunch dinner...there is a difference between dinner and supper that seems to be all over the place, though. either interchangeable in most cases, Where I'm at now "Dinner" is usually reserved for a weekday nighttime semi-formal meal, or "sunday dinner", which can run from noon to around 4? Supper is the last meal you eat on a normal day after work but before around 9pm.
Coke...yeah. drives me insane.
hecknotechno1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i would be so confused in the south.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:26:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was submerged in this culture halfway through puberty. Imagine the confusion I faced.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alot of this is true about Alberta too. I guess the saying is true.
Longsocksandsexalots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ideal is also a word, and you can use it correctly in a lot of situations. Seems like people just try and use it to sound smarter though. I live in the south as well. I wouldn't call it a southern thing. Know one I know ever says it except my high-school history teacher. She was a smart lady though haha
wrong_assumption ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Native French speakers often say "ID" instead of idea. Makes me mad.
French teacher: That's a good ID! Me: WHAT THE FUCK?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you think about it, "idea" the way we pronounce is a weird word. Eye-dee-uhhh.
In French it's just idรฉe. "E-day." Which, really, is a shorter and easier way to say it.
FBPizza ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:36:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my college roommates said this constantly. He is from Kentucky.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear it a sometimes from rednecks in Kentucky, but it certainly isn't like most people say this. It's more common than most anywhere else, but still uncommon.
RelaxPrime ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:45:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Better than "that's a great idear."
But seriously, dumb chicks are the best
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:03:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smart girls fuck better
RelaxPrime ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:09:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think sexual prowess is a metric of crazy, not intelligence.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:59:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
What about extremely neurotic, self-conscious people? Their brand of crazy doesn't help in the bedroom.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:14:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A little bit of both, actually.
hecknotechno1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
more crazy tho
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. It kinda takes a nut to find new ways to experiment with their sexuality. Men and women alike.
RelevantComics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Smart out of ten) ร (crazy out of 20) = Sex quality out of 200
Swefish_dish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sociopathy?
reddittatwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like an ideal equation
Adarain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:59:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are aware that languages change, right? Intrusive r is a thing in many English dialects independent of class or education.
Also, linguistic fun fact of the day: "aks" is the older form. Your ancestors are probably turning in their graves whenever you say "ask".
SOwED ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:53:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sure that wasn't just a British girl?
landoindisguise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only acceptable catchphrase is "suck a dick, dumbshits!"
slade357 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did she use it correctly? Or did she try using ideal instead of idea? If so that's retarded
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You got it
paganize ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You said briefly...are you sure? she might have been doing the female "stealth-smart" thing. My son dated one of those for a while.
SeattleGreySky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once dated a girl who, while in bed said to me, trying to be dirty and not ironically at all 'Do i make you horny?'
So yeah, want to trade? I'll trade, let's trade.
Thrownawayactually ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went on one date and the guy kept saying contempt instead of content. Yeah, it was one date.
farmch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this should be extended to anyone who has a catchphrase. If you really have such little personality that you need a phrase you repeat for every situation, then you need to reevaluate your life.
somethingstrang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I briefly dated a girl who constantly misspelled "definitely" as "defiantly"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Autocorrect?
somethingstrang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope....This was consistent and I saw her type it out via desktop keyboard
kingbrasky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck I know someone who talks like this. I consider her half retarded because of it.
ripshit_on_ham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From Indiana? Seems like lots of people I know from Indiana say that.
It's like how some regions say "warshing machine"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dated a girl who if you asked her whats up she would always respond - Hard dicks and airplanes. She was a ho which is probably why 17 year old me hung out with her
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stealing this from now on.
Mike ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heartless. In an idea world things like this wouldn't matter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are... are you cereal?
myhairsreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ewwe.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you had firmer ideals for making it only a brief experience.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you stuck to your principals?
Tarcanus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once went on a date with a law student who used the "word" supposably. A law student, 2L, said this. I hope her career turns out all right, but I can see her arguments holding less water if she sounds like an idiot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was she from Bristol? cos that's how we talk round heel.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd buy that for a dollar
lazylazycat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Bristol, UK, and that's how people here pronounce idea. It really confused me when I first moved here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One entire side of my family says "ideal" instead of idea. I used to chalk it up to a southern accent, but quickly realized I'm also southern and have never done this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, do you really give that much weight to the fact that a person might mispronounce a word? Is it a deal breaker? Personally I would find it sweet and might (softly) correct her...
HalfBakedTurkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She had "man hands" didn't she
Werewolf35a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You got a girl that came with a catchphrase? Why am I getting these bunk no-catchphrase having girls?
FuzzelFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good on you for dating the mentally handicapped.
chillingniples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend told me last night how much his Intuition is going to cost this Fall... Makes me a little sad actually... He is just trying to get back into community college and called his tuition "intuition"
Sighh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was that a typo or....
Clyde_Vidrine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is she from north Texas?
akatherunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sister.. all.the.fucking.time. And I sit there all: "IT'S IDEA! NOT IDEAL!" And her "Whatever, same thing." I die inside.
biga204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is a nice Rickyism. Like "It's peaches and cake" or "best case Ontario".
jinxjar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... Wait, did she literally sit down, sift through a number of values and norms written on cue cards, then pull one out and indicate: "Yes, this one -- now this is a good ideal."
ihahp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
<it's sher@mie:)>
PenguinSunday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother-in-law does this. I don't think she hears the difference in the two words because every time she's corrected, she says it back the same way.
"Ideal?"
"No, idea. "
"Yeah, ideal."
"No, IDEA!"
It's so annoying.
Shaysdays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did she wear a sequenced dress?
SICCNESS206 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's up their with "idea'er"
abaddamn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of those annoying tics by the opposite gender.
Falls in category as * totally, totes * like, like yeah * that's so <insert adjective here> * yeah nah, yeah but * what a <derogratory word here> * ideal
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You broke up with her? You should be less idealistic. That would be a good ideal.
diatom15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seinfeld?
HarneOUT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only other time I have heard that phrase is in Age of Empires
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly, I dated her for 9 years. I corrected her countless times on that, but somehow it was "my fault."
TRPmmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I can only hear this in Owen Wilson's voice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they're a math major.
just_drea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Argh! My SO does this, and he even fucking spells it like that! He fucking KNOWS the correct word, but because "that's the way he's always said it" he just keeps doing it. Shit, at least I got him to stop saying "warsh" and "torlet" instead of toilet.
IT_dude_101010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless she was referring to a sale on iPhones and ipads, your relationship was not ideal.
suprastang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was it her signature at the end of text messages and emails?
Draiko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good ideal?
Was the Apple store having a sale?
sectorsight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I second that emotion
ArmagedonOverdrive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What state was she from? I knew someone from Michigan who did the same thing. I just assumed it was a dialect thing, like people who pronounce Washington "Warshington".
Bnoriega2001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had friend that dumped a girl for saying pasgetti.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And also because she was 3 years old.
Bnoriega2001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Mentally.
Rixxer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It works, but I get the impression she was not using it in a discussion about ethics and world views.
zap283 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, you've got it all wrong. She meant she likes your moral values, dude/ine.
schaumann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sweetheart, did you hear about the discount at the optometrist this weekend?"
"Yeah, that's a good ideal."
meruapps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she just really liked Hilbert's Nullstellensatz, and you just never appreciated it.
Rearranger_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
m-metal gear?
djmidge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just one word would've done it...ideal
Fland28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She was trying to tell u she sold drugs.
schmengineer ยท 5013 points ยท Posted at 15:27:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a prank, bro!
phaqueue ยท 2409 points ยท Posted at 17:36:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People seem to have forgotten what a prank actually is...
"Dude, why did you light all my school books on fire?"
"Calm down man, it's just a prank"
Like... pranks are supposed to be funny, but generally harmless (sometimes time-consuming or annoying to deal with, but that's one thing)... not ridiculously destructive or harmful...
DarkDubzs ยท 2341 points ยท Posted at 20:31:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You sacrificed my firstborn son"
"Calm down its a prank bro, look it up on YouTube it's gonna be called 'Devil Sacrifice Prank GONE WRONG xD'"
collapsing_sanity ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 00:22:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow the xD makes it that much worse.
TeShortBus ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:17:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ECKS DEE
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:59:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
xD
IWillNotLie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:10:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
xD
JuggernautV2 ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 23:51:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Orewa ochin chin ga daisuki nandayo, chinchinsacrafice 2016!
GunsNMuffins ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:07:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Ey B0ssss ey hav ze cansur!!!!!1!!
JuggernautV2 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:30:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Babababoei
Drihzer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:40:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Am i drunk or did this turn into another language?
Mlgfckyeah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:17:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should look up FilthyFrank on Youtube.
dison234 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes?
eduardog3000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drink a little more and you will understand it.
DelusionPhantom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:06 on November 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing I understood is that ochinchin is a children's word for penis in Japanese. That's about it.
JuggernautV2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:03:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just get high and you'll understand
DarkDubzs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:52:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
N'Yaesss
kjata ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:23:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
JuggernautV2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like dicks, i believe
kjata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Nan da" is an informal way of saying "What is it?", and cannot really have particles (such as "yo" for certainty or "ne" for "isn't it?") added on. Had you meant to say "I like dicks" informally (which, given your use of "ore", you did), you could simply have said ใกใใกใใใใใ (chinchin ga suki yo, "I totes like dicks, yo").
Some notes on the reasoning for this pared-down version of your sentence:
"Da" is the informal version of copula, and can actually be dropped entirely, because Japanese doesn't require "to be" in most constructions. The primary purpose of "desu" is to add politeness.
The subject is usually left to infer from context in day-to-day Japanese speech, although if it's not obvious it can be a good idea to make it unambiguous.
Adding o- to Japanese words (or go- to words of Chinese origin in the Japanese vocabulary, although this isn't strictly relevant) is a form of politeness, showing deference to the object or its owner. "Ochinchin" technically means "honored penis", and should probably be used with "desu" and "watashi" or similarly polite subjects to avoid politeness-confusion.
"Daisuki" is more intense than "like". If you want to imply that your thoughts are sometimes consumed with cock, then go right ahead and use "daisuki", but if you didn't want to give that impression, then "suki" is fine.
JuggernautV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:07 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God fuck man, i wasnt looking for an explanation i just heard it meant something like i love dicks. Anyways thanks nonetheless for the work
kjata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:21 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is better to know why something is than to simply know that something is.
JuggernautV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:42 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still man not really that much of a weeb. Id say more of a lazy stoner who doesnt give a shit
CJ090 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can it, jabba
JuggernautV2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:03:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go back to the rice fields motherfucker
MikeVik09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im too pussy to say it out loud
JuggernautV2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:04:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I screamed it in amsterdam when i was high with tons of exhange students
mil_phickelson ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:37:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Genesis 22: 2-8
God- "chill bro it's just the Test Your Loyalty To A Vengeful God Prank lol do you even YouTube??"
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:25:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GONE SEXUAL
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:09:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
KISSING SEX HOOD PRANKS GONE SEXUAL GONE WRONG IN THE HOOD
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:24:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
seymoredjibouti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the risk of a double woosh, that's what he's referencing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, that's what I was referencing. h3h3 is fucking hilarious.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:09:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it gone wrong if the Devil shows up, or if dude decides to stay at home?
DrKnowsNothing_MD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gone wrong?
foot_kisser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The devil made him do it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you want to dye?
freakuser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GONE WILD GONE SEXUAL KISSING NEWBORN PRANK 2015 GONE WRONG SACRIFICE
thepeopleshero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not like you can't just make another
solos90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THERE'S THE CAMERA
SantasLittlePyro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
trajan94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SATANIC SACRIFICES GONE SEXUAL 2079 (SoFloAntonio)
Mordekai99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:52 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kissing Pranks Gone Sexual
parentingandvice ยท 729 points ยท Posted at 22:04:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
George Clooney is friends with the guy who plays the hypochondriac on Scrubs (Richard Kind) and "pranked" him thus:
He found a horrible giant painting in the trash. He faked taking painting classes for 6 months.
When Richard Kind turned 40, Cloontang gave him the shitty painting as a gift, pretending he painted it and it's his crowning achievement in life (so that it is a great gift).
Kind is basically forced to put it up in his living room so as not to offend his friend, who also happens to be a much more powerful Hollywood player.
Fast forward FIVE YEARS when Clooney is like "gotcha, I found that in the garbage," and I can only assume "it's just a prank bro."
Francine Smith was right and she didn't even know how right.
[deleted] ยท 150 points ยท Posted at 22:15:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty damn funny
scampbe999 ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 04:33:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
George Clooney has pulled some elaborate pranks, including faking a wedding to screw with the paparazzi and making a guy think his cat hadn't shit for 30 days.
Bromlife ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:56:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, same victim.
akeyjavey ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 02:02:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We need to reinstate operation "Tears of a Clooney"
Kairain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:26:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in. Can I be the one to rent the motorcycles?
akeyjavey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:04:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta bite your hand off to do so first, but sure
Kairain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But the biotic hands they have nowadays! SOOO TEMPTING :P
Philip_Marlowe ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:57:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody needs to hear the catbox story.
apatheticambassador ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:22:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cloontang.
OptimumCorridor ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:15:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't prank-related but a friend of mine is an amateur painter. He's not horrible, but not an award winning painter either. As a surprise gift to friends of his who were getting married, he painted a big canvas of a bride and groom. It was from behind, just with the groom having his hand around the waist of the bride, looking out upon some spectacular scenery. He realised his skill limits and the propensity for creepiness if he had painted their faces, I guess.
Anyway, he brings it to their wedding all wrapped up and unveils it. The bride and groom pretty much say "Ehh, thanks, but no thanks. We don't want it.". So he brought it back to his apartment, it stayed on an easel in his living room until he moved away, dunno what he did with it.
_Walt_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:29:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just fucking rude.... Wow... I had a girl give me a sub-par painting (it really was awful) for my wedding. Now for backstory my wife and I don't hang stuff on the walls often like at all actually. That being said it hung on our wall for the better part of two years till we moved. Even if you don't hang it up prominently it's still respectful to accept.
OptimumCorridor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:44:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I thought so too. He was obviously hurt and dumbfounded by it. Although saying that, he's a successful good looking guy, so probably just wasn't used to outright rejection. However, this seemed especially harsh.
_Walt_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:52:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't honestly even know that I would call that rejection. At least not in the normal sense. In my mind if I make something for you I am giving you a piece of my time, efforts, affection, and above all a piece of me. Idk how I'd have handled it but that is rough. damn
OptimumCorridor ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:16:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's a bit much. Saying that, I quite like his art. He gave me this artwork of Tortoro when I moved house.
Snowleaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:24:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aw, I like that!
_Walt_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's kinda awesome in its own way.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:24:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's depressing.
PigSlayer1024 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:08:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was clooney who also shit in a cats litter box because it had been constipated and wanted the owner to think it shit it all out at once.
Indie_uk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, you could sell that 'prank' now you know it has no sentimental value and get a small fortune
parentingandvice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:06:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting point. I didn't realize there's a market for terrible paintings NOT painted by George Clooney and owned by someone most people don't know....
isubird33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's an amazing prank.
Prune_the_hedges ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's some Michael Scott level shitbaggery, right there.
GrandmasterSlumlord ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:15:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like the 'prank' of buttering the bathroom floor while a friend is in the shower. Have fun explaining to your now ex-friend who is paralyzed from the neck down after bouncing his head off the bathroom sink how clever you thought your 'prank' was. People are idiots.
CidCrisis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me angry now about a time my asshole co-workers covered the floor of our office in Pledge right before I came in for my shift. I slipped and fell on my ass, but fuck, that could have been bad.
manticore116 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:12:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work overnight at home Depot. One night during lunch, they pallet wrapped my truck. Only they were fucking lazy and did it front to back, so I walk out and just looked at them and said "really...?" and they start laughing their assets off. I just walked up, ran my knife between the bed and cab, got in and drove away. The next week, somehow they all ended up with pallets of mulch next to their drivers side doors and no gas left in the forklift.
Sped21 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:30:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drawing swastikas on a friend's head when they pass out and have to work the next day - dick move. Taking off their sock and writing "Andy" on the bottom of their foot - prank
I-Downloaded-a-Car ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:29:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Here's a quick guide for those too dumb to know the difference between a prank and not a prank.
Filling someone's office with balloons; prank
Burning someone's office to the ground; not a prank
Taking the batteries out of the TV remote; prank
Smashing their TV with a hammer; not a prank
Lowering someone's bike seat; prank
Unhooking the quick release on their wheel; not a prank
Putting red cool aid in their shower; prank
Putting the blood from their cat in their shower; not a prank
Bromlife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Gsusruls ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:56:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish we could define a simple set of criteria and an agreed upon punishment. Then when someone claims "prank", and it fails to pass the test, then the punishment must be applied.
Maybe the rule should be, "It should be reversible at no monetary cost to the victim."
Then the tinfoil gag would be okay, but lighting someone's clothes on fire wouldn't be.
And the punishment would be to infect the culprit with AIDS. Or whatever.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:57:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shooting minorities in the hood with a glock and calling them welfare-abusing scumbag racial slurs
Let's see what kind of reactions we get!
"DUDE IT'S A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT/PRANK CALM DOWN CHILL"
JackFlynt ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:01:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My general rule regarding pranks: if it costs you more money and time then it will cost the victim to deal with it, go ahead. Otherwise, you're being an ass.
PaulTagg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
18 boxes of 500 count forks, stuck em into a buddies lawn who was supposed to get out of work at 10pm, me and accomplice were waiting at my house down the road for him to call and be like fuck you paul! , we were going to help him clean it up. he ended up having to work till close at 2am... yea... he found it hysterical after the fact but not in the moment at 2am, and his lawn "glowed like a ghost"
lloydpro ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:00:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean like 52 card pickup?
ZobmieRules ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:33:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Pranks are not just shit you do because you "just want to" and find it funny.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:00:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What happened to coating offices with tinfoil?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:11:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or putting cups of water all over the floor?
PaulTagg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or forking a friends lawn
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same as, "I am just a moron bro."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was under the impression jokes are meant to be funny and pranks are supposed to be basically really cunty, but also funny. Which is why they develop into wars.
wENTtobuyweed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
shoots someone bro it's a prank bro chill bro
ZackWyvern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're under arrest for murdering everyone in the neighborhood."
"Calm down, bro, it was just a prank!"
Cum_on_doorknob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe this is really a thing. Do you actually have a link to any of these crazy pranks?
_pH_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The best pranks don't permanently injure any people or property and aren't cruel.
Good prank: pegging someone with an exercise ball out of nowhere (YouTube it, hilarious)
Bad prank: beating someone to death
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY.
brandonerd12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"HOT WATER CHALLENGE, YA'LL!!!!"
Omnipotent_Entity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saw a senior prank where they filled the entire school with cardboard cutouts. They were walking up the stairs, sitting in each seat, there were even some in both bathrooms. Now the school just has a bunch of cutouts that they put everywhere for fun. One of the best pranks i have ever seen. Got a good laugh, fun to clean up, and the school got something out of it.
Thanmandrathor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They'll have pranks on shows like World's Dumbest occasionally, and sometimes the pranks are things I'd be so pissed at if they were done to me by supposed friends. It's a miracle people don't get punched after some of them.
DASoulWarden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That definitely counts as a prank dude!
tigerking615 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I generally define a good prank is one that all parties will laugh about later on.
tarvoplays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to prank my teacher in highschool all the time. We had printers in our classrooms and I would randomly print off 100+pages of just white papers. It would confuse them so much, yet it was still harmless. I feel like thats a good prank.
CaptainCazio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People have forgotten that those types of pranks do not make up the majority of all pranks and most are in good humor.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching some of those "pranks in the hood" videos today and most of the time when the victim drew a gun I didn't blame him. Assault is not a prank, neither is most of the shit those asseholes try. One day one of them will actually get killed and it may be justified if it's one of those pranks were they act all aggressive and pretend they are reaching for a weapon, which seems to be a popular one just now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the good old days of post it covered cars and frozen boxers.
Ruvic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
like replacing someones carpet with astroturf and hiding easter eggs.
4evrdrumin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Two or three years ago in my high school, the senior "prank" was to stuff dead fish in the ceiling tiles... no one was happy.
sillyribbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I felt AWFUL when a prank I helped orchestrate resulted in my friend missing a midterm. I had no idea he had a test the next day (different school) and didn't realize how hard the plastic wrap would be to get off of his car. Sorry friend!!!
Boye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, like that time I set our Web page up to show a yellow background with Easter bunnies on April 1st - if you accessed it from our office is :) Almost gave my boss a heart-attack though :)
Pseudogenesis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At some point "kidding" started to mean "not telling the truth" among some people I know. Not that they just lie to me about important stuff or anything, it's just that they'll say something untrue with a completely straight face and then say it's a joke. Like... what? You mean there ISN'T actually any milk left in the fridge? Haha, oh you master of comedy you.
RogerDeanVenture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I called my Boss at Pizza Hut once and pretended to a customer ordering 100 pizzas for a big party later that night. I could hear her trying to restrain her excitement at hearing what a big order we were about to sell. I walked in about 5 minutes later and said, "Hey Rita, I bet you I could eat 100 pizzas right now." She looked at me, looked at the order, looked at me again and her smile vanished, "Damn it RDV! You got me good!" Then she started to laugh.
That is a good prank.
A coworker once force another coworker to keep their arm in the oven for about 20 minutes and claimed he was just pranking. The surveillance footage shows a man screaming as another man is forcing his arm into the hot oven. His arm got pretty fucked up.
That is not a prank. This is assault. He did some time for that one.
TheHeroicOnion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy pranks that cause awkward situations even though they give me second hand awkwardness from just watching.
BobMacActual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was a post in /r/relationships about a sibling whose definition of "prank" included broken bones.
PinkyandzeBrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asshats use that phrase so you don't kick the crap out of them.
rottenseed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like pranks can escalate to being harmful/destructive but you should definitely stay within your target's sensibilities and you should understand whatever you do deserves equal retaliation.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:13:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why Remi Gailard is the best.
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:33:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I was a kid there was this dickhead who knocked my pokemon cards out of my hands during recess, and they landed in a drink fountain. He said it was just a joke, and when I bawled at the teacher he told her the same thing and she let him off the hook... No amount of hair dryer/vented heater fixed them.
I still have dreams about kicking him in the nuts three or four times while screaming "HAHA GOT YOU JUST A JOKE MATE LOLOLOL"
DMercenary ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:44:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of our senior prank.
A week where there's not much going on. "lol lets fill the halls with cups of water and fish."
Mostly harmless, though the fish sadly died since... Tap water=/= good for keeping fish.
Crunch week, where we need to finish projects and study for tests
Teachers: "Let's all go on a run for our Presidential fitness nonsense."
"Uggh. FINE."
after exhausting run, wasting an entire day.
"LOL ITS JUST A PRANK LOL."
Basically soured all of our perceptions for that year.
Pranks are cheeky and fun. Not deliberate time wasters in a critical part of the year.
NarrationET ยท 1807 points ยท Posted at 15:54:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AM I BEING DETAINED
poopycocacola ยท 1191 points ยท Posted at 16:46:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I read this I imagine it said in the exact same way as "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"
[deleted] ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 17:05:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU NOT DETAINED?
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 21:38:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AM I BEING ENTERTAINED?
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 21:43:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T LET YOUR ENTERTAINMENTS BE ENTERTAINMENTS
JUST DETAIN IT
Kell08 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:14:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IS THIS THREAD BEING MAINTAINED?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:31:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BRO AM I BEING MAINTAINED
bearses ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:51:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ugh, you sound just like my house plants
qwertyman2347 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:21:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WITH RICE
bundle_of_bricks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LET MEEEEEEEEEEE DETAIN YOU
drakedavis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No" -Tom Hanks in The Terminal
beepbeepitsajeep ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:03:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit. This is gonna be me every single time now, that's like my favorite fucking movie.
Anahkiasen ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:22:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY
theatrain29 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:45:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck sheamus!
ZTUltima ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:38:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly, Sheamus has ruined an otherwise iconic line...
daisymk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are not alone.
compelx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Officer: PUT THAT SWORD DOWN!
APiousCultist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I imagine the "A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL" guy would say it.
JoeKerr95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I will never be able to not think of it that way again...thanks
denialtwister31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NO SHEAMUS I AM NOT ENTERTAINED
Daan_M ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. Me. Exactly.
bbekki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to start yelling this at cops when I get pulled over to make them like me more.... Maybe I'll get a laugh, maybe I'll get brought in for public drunkenness. Maybe then I'll be detained.
riles_ssss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
poopycocacola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swood reference bro
Hatxchet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Am I under arrest, Hank? AM I UNDER ARREST?!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU NOT ENDETAINED
Miss_rarity1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/amibeingdetained
I_want_hard_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck I just realized I do that
DPX106 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:51:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Help! Help! I'm being repressed.
AlmightyRuler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bloody peasant!!
WhoNeedsKarmaAnyways ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:17:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/amibeingdetained
EbolaNinja ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:30:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:11:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dont taze me bro
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:30:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Sir , Its Me your brother
AxeEffect3890 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't taze me bro
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never forget that kid was asking Kerry about "Skull and Bones", of which both he and Bush were members. Both of them have refused to talk about it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:39:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gave me a laugh. If you're watching a youtube video and this phrase is in it, you can safely assume the poster is a jackass.
awesomebob ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:08:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? "Sovereign Citizens" are fucking idiots, granted, but why does exercising the rights you actually have make you a jackass?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:36:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You said it yourself. I'm all about it, but the majority of those people are just looking for trouble. That was all I was saying. If you take a camera and a gun and go out looking to make some point, you're a jackass.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:09:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because in most (90%) of those videos the poster was either breaking the law and deserved to be stopped, or they weren't doing anything and would have been fine and free to go in less than a minute if they complied with the officer's instruction.
But the real reason that they're a jackass is because they always film vertically.
awesomebob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"would have been fine and free to go in less than a minute if they complied with the officer's instruction."
See, but this is the problem. The constitution says I don't have to answer questions posed to me by police officers. I shouldn't have to follow a cop's instructions to be free to go. I'm not justifying being rude or hostile, but there's nothing rude or hostile about "I'm not going to answer your questions, am I free to go?"
RiseAnShineMrFreeman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:09:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a difference between what you said and randomly shouting "AM I BEING DETAINED?"
awesomebob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost like there's a fuckton of people in America, and some of them are in the right when they interact with police, and some are in the wrong.
wral ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:08:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope in 90% cases they are in accordance with the law and the oficer is trying to abuse his power because most of people (pussies like you) let him intimidate them and do whatever he wants. Slave mentality
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:08:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that the type of people who think that phrase is the be all end all of interacting with police don't know their rights at all. They just make up a bunch of rights that they think they should have.
I'm talking about the extreme end of the asshole scale in this case. Obviously yes, its a good idea to know the right way to talk to the cops. Just be careful with where you get your information.
awesomebob ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:11:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drivers in border states frequently get stopped to be asked if they are US Citizens. Courts have ruled that while these stops are allowed, nobody is compelled to answer, and that they cannot detain people who refuse to answer. Asking "am I being detained?" is a very easy way to end the interaction if you would rather not answer their question, which is well within your rights.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:04:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:36:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A decent cop would stop and answer the question instead of escalating the situation by ignoring the question.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
wral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend was detained so what's your point? If he was not then he would be free to go.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:23:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree the phrase is overused. But at the right times it is very helpful when you want to leave a situation before the cop decides he has RS.
mint_in_bawks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why my rights being reading?
Twizler73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man it's just a prank.
Isaius35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T TAZE ME BRO!
rgbwr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/amibeingdetained stay out of the comments and you will be a happy man.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this was America! Huh? Isn't this America?! I'm sorry!
Christ_on_a_Crakker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"he's an article four free inhabitant!!!!"
Fucking ditzy cunt.
edit* word
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just wanted to shamelessly plug /r/amibeingdetained. The videos that get posted on there of uppity idiots getting an unholy smackdown are better than porn.
TheycallmeShadley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends and I were in a park past their closing hours. Police came and the first the the officer said to us was "For the lawyers in the group, yes you are being detained". We laughed our asses off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That shit saved me from having to head downtown with the Knoxville police at 3 am on a Tuesday. If you know your rights use them.
bangarang710 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:47:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you can't search my car you need a warrant!!!! *car reeks of weed
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:25:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bobbyboyle1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THIS IS RAPE! YOU ARE RAPING ME! (Actually heard this in a video when an officer pulled a young lady who was doing this out of her car)
beepbeepitsajeep ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend got me to watch a video on facebook where a guy filmed a cop and kept repeatedly asking if he was being detained. It was so annoying, I was basically begging for the cop to shoot the guy.
SOwED ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:48:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God damn, I took a long break from watching prank videos, like from freshman year of high school (2006) to stumbling upon some this year and I swear most of these guys just go harass black people then yell that it's just a prank when they pull out a weapon. No, going and pulling sagging pants up isn't a prank, it's an invasion of personal space. That's like going around grabbing asses and calling it a prank.
Rammage ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:10:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
brojob! choo-choo! brojob!
el_muerte17 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:00:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand this shit. If it takes the victim longer to clean up than it took the perpetrator(s) to set up, it's not a prank. If it causes damage to someone's property, it's not a prank.
Some kids slapped a bunch of stickers on my roommate's car. Took them about three minutes to perform their "prank," he spent two hours scraping them off. Real funny, guys.
erx98 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 05:05:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's actually a prank though, assuming it's harmless stickers like post it notes, it caused no monetary damage and just caused a mild inconvenience.
el_muerte17 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:49:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stickers are not Post-It notes. Post-It notes take about half a second to remove in one piece and leave no residue. Stickers take several minutes each, they tear making them even more difficult to remove, and they leave residue which must be removed with a solvent.
Are you seriously telling me that if you had to spend a couple hours peeling, scraping, and scrubbing stickers off your car, you'd just laugh it off? An evening wasted, plus a trip to buy some isopropanol or Goo Gone, and a visit to the car wash, with an element of potential damage to your vehicle's finish, wouldn't bother you in the slightest if it was meant as a joke?
GhostOfWilson ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:35:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a social experiment!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:59:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kills your entire family "JUST A PRANK BRUH"
billcosbyinspace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relax man there are cameras everywhere
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:57:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Es un broma!
GARFIELDLYNNS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chill fam
LordPizzaParty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see this phrase on AskReddit once a day, but I've never encountered this kind of thing in real life. Does it actually happen?
schmengineer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:53:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It can take many forms. Maybe someone embarrasses you in front off a crowd or insults you or something and when you get mad, he says, "what, you can't take a joke?" or, "calm down, I'm just messing with you. "
llamanatee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go watch some prank videos. You'll find them eventually.
Coolfoolsalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The camera's in the water bottle!
bangarang710 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
there's a camera!!!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
issaprankfoo!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
speaking to a judge at court "Just a prank bro!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CHOO CHOO!!!
MikeSCFL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Replace prank with joke and you have a couple of my "friends" ugh.
Offence_But ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look at the camera! The camera!
LukeTango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVaAv0cPRok
Are you Ethan?
RobinsEggTea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Last april fools day I cut the music players out of some greeting cards and rigged them up to drawers, doors, the fridge, a weighted empty coffee can, and a paper towel dispenser with a low roll in it so they would play music when opened or closed.
Thats a fucking prank.
The year before we filled the fridge with packing peanuts and laid large bubble bubble wrap under the floor matt infront of the coffee maker. This is a prank.
No one got hurt. No food was wasted. Although as I sat on the floor foil taping the soldered extended wires to the fridge seal I thought to myself "I could kill them all"
SimonRiIey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pranked pedestrian starts charging..... "ITS A PRANK ITS A PRANK ITS A PRANK"
HellaciousHelen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IT WAS A GOOF!!!
TypoHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those prank people. OMG. It's just a reason to insult people and more and more I see it being used as an excuse for Racism.
"It's just a social experiment!" when they approach a group of black folk and ask where they can get Watermelon and coolaid. Fucking jackasses. I cheer a little anytime they get the shit kicked out of them.
Grubbernaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No... It was just a goof
conicsonic5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CHOO CHOO
n0t_here ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Saarlak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With a close second of "dude, it's okay. It's a Social Experiment."
Rubber_Tree_Plant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a goof!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtcbVUNO1NY
Aeolun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you have to say that, it isn't.
Nok-O-Lok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All those white dudes on youtube who say the n-word to black people as a prank. Like seriously?
Louzey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tis but a jest, brother.
This_is_magnetic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just messin', were doing a social experiment!
chiminage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The camera is RIGHT there!
adamks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when used ironically
tb00n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone using the word "bro" on a regular basis.
Sen7ineL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, man. Several people lost their teeth after saying this to me...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:21 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT BRO!
18981 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:08 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or its a joke. My "friend" let's call him, Jackson. likes to take food off my plate and say its a joke. No. if it was a fucking joke you wouldn't have eaten my fries, You fat fucking slab of grease
cheddarben ยท 1506 points ยท Posted at 15:12:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
at the crossroad of <marketing buzz phrase> and <another marketing buzz phrase>
puke.
andnowforme0 ยท 976 points ยท Posted at 15:30:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the corner of happy and healthy. Fuck you for ruining the song Down on The Corner for me, assholes.
xaanthar ยท 1137 points ยท Posted at 15:54:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If Walgreen's is "at the corner of happy and healthy", then so is CVS, because there's always a CVS across the street from a Walgreen's.
MrNeedAbout350 ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 16:55:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or a rite-aid, always!
wannabesq ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:06:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or all 3, or at least the shopping center near my old house had that. Plus there was a target half a block away too with their own pharmacy.
Sp3ctre7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:38:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rite aid employee here.
Across the street from a walgreens, streets are in fact not happy and healthy.
DrewsephA ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:39:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"They're like the hookers of pharmacies."
- Quote from my friend a couple years ago
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:00:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit.
How did I not realize that?
randomzinger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:07:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And Starbucks.
MangoMambo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's several walgreens near me and zero CVS stores.
tealtreees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ditto, i dont know if ive ever seen this phenomenon. hell i dont know if ive ever seen a cvs
CaptainErronous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
r/showerthoughts
HEBushido ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen this.
LetMeGDPostAlready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was going to say pretty much this, immediately realized you've got me covered.
DistantKarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 73 year old dad is convinced Walgreen's and CVS are the same company. I have given up trying to explain it to him.
tparks12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This holds true in my town.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you're right O.o
adognameddave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
brain asploded
captyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Caddywhompus from happy and healthy"
Fred-Bruno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And... I've never seen a Walgreen's or CVS not on a street corner.
SkullShapedCeiling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
huh. i have several cvs's in my town, none of them are across from any other pharmacy type dealios.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, I wouldn't have laughed at this except that, in my neighborhood, they're opening a CVS even though there will be a Walgreens a half mile away and local drugstore across the street.
Salt_peanuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually diagonally across the intersection, literally at the same corner.
eat_thecake_annamae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Woah
PinkyandzeBrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I miss Longs. It's like I (wait for it), long for it. But it was better than CVS.
crybannanna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So am I to assume that the cigarettes are housed in the "happy" side of the store and not the "healthy" side? Keep looking on that side for hookers and gin but can't find any.
saikron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:16 on August 19, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TRIVIA TIME!!!
http://mindyourdecisions.com/blog/2008/03/25/game-theory-tuesdays-hotelling%E2%80%99s-game-or-why-gas-stations-have-competitors-nearby/#.VdTY_3UVhBc
The_KaoS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:36:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought CVS owned Walgreens?
Fernao ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:11:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No.
Bojangthegoatman ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 18:19:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CVS lost my buisness because they stopped selling tobacco products because they are a health-care place. Guess what? They sell alcohol and soda as well. And also medicines that they will figure out are terrible for you in the future. And they sell the same opioids that people overdose on everyday. I say if they want to take a stand against tobacco for being unhealthy, they should take a stand against candy, alcohol, soda, and easily abused drugs as well.
brickmack ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:16:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Candy and alcohol and such at least have some good effects to counter how terrible they are for you, namely that they taste good and alcohol gets you drunk. Cigarettes, not so much
Bojangthegoatman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:19:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cigarettes alter your mind slightly too, there is a calming quality to them. Which is why so many continue to start smoking. Alcohol in reality is horrible for you, and can destroy families. If CVS is gonna take a stand they shouldn't be hypocritical about what they stand up to
BradyBunch12 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:57:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The calming effect is largely a placebo effect crossed with just stepping away from the stressful situation (to have a cig)
AuraMasterNeal ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:01:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A glass of red wine a day is good for your heart. Drinking occasionally isn't gonna give you permanent liver damage. Smoking occasionally will give you a fair bit of lung damage. That, and the fact that nicotine is one of the most addictive chemicals known to man makes smoking much worse.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who's buying their red wine from CVS?
OsmeOxys ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:37:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who aren't drinking it for the heart health.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:35:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe that's besides the point...
Wawoowoo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:38:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My guess is this is just a myth propagated to explain why France has low rates of heart disease and high intake of saturated fat. It doesn't make much sense to have a slight amount of wine be good for you while none or a bit more would be so harmful. Far more likely is that people who have moderated wine intake aren't crazy straight edge people, while at the same time not crazy drunkards. If some research came out saying that people who smoked a pack of cigarettes a week lived the longest, I think people would question it much more.
AuraMasterNeal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.ynhh.org/about-us/red_wine.aspx
guerillabear ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dony be a fucktard. Alcohil is the worst drug there is. It is poison to your body and socially acceptable so everyone lets it slide.
OsmeOxys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
In low amounts, alcohol can be healthy. There are studies to back that up. Abusing alcohol however, is very bad. Unfortunately, its easy to abuse. And its far (far far far) from the worst drug.
feex3 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:54:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only if misused. Cigarettes in any quantity are bad for you and those around you. Guess what? Red wine, in moderation, is actually GOOD for you.
guerillabear ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like a glass a couple times a week
Dungeon___Master ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:10:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weed does it better.
NealMcBeal__NavySeal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:27:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get on it, CVS
Dungeon___Master ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those fucking muffins were in the produce section!
NealMcBeal__NavySeal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's your goddamned news story! The mystery of my missing self-respect!
OsmeOxys ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:04:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that's what a pharmacy is.
And as everyone else has said, alcohol, candy, and soda can be healthy (or at least, good outweighs the bad) in moderation. Tobacco is simply unhealthy in any quantity. Its not hypocritical as you said. More importantly, cigarettes werent profitable.
CountCraqula ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:32:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when is soda ever healthy (w/the exception of severe dehydration)
OsmeOxys ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:42:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Physically its "meh". If you're not drinking a lot, it doesn't affect you physically. Same as energy drinks, if not better. I'm thinking more about the happiness portion. Everyone enjoys a bit of coke every once and a while. Its tiny, but outweighs the non-existent bad with moderation. Obviously there are better alternatives, but my point is that its not remotely comparable to smoking and isn't necessarily unhealthy.
guerillabear ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck right off. All that sugar and acidity are terrible. It is just marketed as an acceptable thing to enjoy. Bone density loss and diabetes are both bad. Losing your teeth, again bad. Being overweight, bad physically and emotionally.
OsmeOxys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one gets diabetes, becomes overweight, and has their teeth rot from their head because they have a couple glasses of sugary water a month.
GetHard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lololololol. Did you get fired by cvs or something?
ilovelsdsowhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They stopped selling cigarettes because it wasn't profitable and used the opportunity for some positive marketing.
GetHard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not true
ImWatchinUWatchinMe ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:36:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Out in the street, Willie and the po'boys are playin, bring a nickel tap your feet.
xenonpulse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rooster hits the washboard, you just got to smile.
HowBoutDemMons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand that song anymore and I'm sad.
Goatmo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at Walgreens, i hear this shit for 8 hours a day. So shut the hell up and be happy!
andnowforme0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But do I also have to be healthy?
Goatmo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, we don't sell a single healthy food... so no...
DodgeTheQueue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Luckily our store radio decided to mysteriously die after our DM came for a walk through, I don't miss the same 15 golden oldies songs they play at our store ;-;
tweeblethescientist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever that commercial comes on I get all excited like someone knows what real music is. Then NOPE FUCK YOU WALGREENS. Crush my excitement.
MrRedKhaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
erispie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My first thought when they started using this was that if I was a prostitute I'd like to work on the corner of Healthy and Happy.
Edit: I neglected to -ed a word.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more sad about losing John Corbett. Damn you Walgreens...
justinerwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at Walgreens before joining the military. I am so, so sorry for that. Believe me. We all hated it.
ai1267 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing that nothing can ruin Creedence.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Be well! God I fucking hated working there. Soul crushingly boring.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:18:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After 9/11
"more than ever" in every ad and every news clip.
AfroKing23 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:45:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MEET ME AT THE CROSSROOOOOADS
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:59:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Exploring the intersection of when x meets y"
fuck you and your fucking intersections.
UMadBreaux ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:49:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand managers that talk about "touching base" with clients or "putting the ball in their court" when we call them.
tangerinelion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:00:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty annoyed when someone uses the phrase "reaching out" or "reached out" to mean "we tried to call them but they didn't pick up" or "we sent an email that didn't get replied to." "Reaching out" in my mind has an emotional weight to it, and you simply don't have that with that sort of sales nonsense.
chocolateturtl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand "On my plate" i.e. I have a lot on my plate right now, I'll have to put that on the back-burner.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the topic of marketing buzz phrases, what the actual fuck is Synergy and why do so many tech startup's have it in their name?
fff8e7cosmic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:53:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects.
cheddarben ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am sure there have been a few Synertechs or various similar BS, but I have not heard the word "Synergy" in a long while (thank god). Most modern companies, if they have any sort of clue about anything, know that it is a boner of a word. If I were looking to hire a company for any sort of marketing efforts, ANY use of the term synergy in the company name would automatically throw a red flag in my book. Just as well have Fred Flinstone smoking
numberIV ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:09:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:28:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im lazy
thephotoman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the crossroad of the other side of town and step on it.
KuntaStillSingle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the crossroad of Skyrim and guns, Fallout 4 is the Elder Scrolls we'll be waiting months for!
Finsternis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much any buzz word makes me puke. Business and management is probably the worst of all. The pointy haired type know that they aren't really qualified to do much, so they make up their own secret language trying to fool people.
ImAStruwwelPeter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the crossroad of being strangled and dying.
coppertech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SYNERGY
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Paradigms! Synergy! Buzzword! Vertical Integration!
MrNashville ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Strategic _____"
Adding "strategic" doesn't make your bullshit more professional. It's not a "strategic meeting" โ it's just another damn meeting that's just as useless/important as just about every other meeting.
innateLosses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At he the crossroad of touching base and synergy!
spacemandanny-san ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My local Walgreen's is at the same corner of three on going homicide cases, and a prostitution bust. They also don't sell condoms?
Tortillaish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ooo, this is one I strongly agree with, and probably hear the most as well. Always think, "yeahhh.... you know what you just said doesn't actually mean anything right...??"
PreferredSelection ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Buzzwords are annoying, but when I was an art student, I often found them to be a necessary evil.
Summing up your current big project as "Power Rangers meets The Sopranos" is a little bit hacky, but everyone - publishers, friends, whoever - just wants a sound bite from you. If anyone wants to know more, they'll ask, but I see way too many people launch into unasked for stories about dragons and crystals and whathaveyou.
IdRatherPlayFifa ยท 5816 points ยท Posted at 15:27:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry not sorry."
ptd163 ยท 5545 points ยท Posted at 16:55:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is Canada after every international hockey tournament.
do_it_throw_it_away ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 20:53:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Running on about 3 hours of sleep. I read that as 'intentional' as opposed to 'international'. I immediately wondered how an unintentional hockey tourney begins.
PM_ME_YOUR_PHILLIPS ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 22:49:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sidney Crosby and Jonathan Toews enter the arena
"What are you doing here, Crosby?" says Toews. "I'm just here to practice! What are you doing here?" replies Sid the Kid. "Me too."
They stare each other down.
Suddenly, the rest of the Hawks and the Pens come out from the benches.
an unintentional hockey tournament begins
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 01:46:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is how IIHF 2015 happened. It wasn't actually scheduled this year, they just happened to both be on holiday in Prague at the time.
iamtheowlman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:26:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
West Side Story - ON ICE!
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:57:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
boxjohn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:43:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone needs to get on that as a theme night. They're in the same conference and everything...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
storm-bringer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:17:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because sometimes when you're a jet, you move to Arizona and become a coyote.
canadianbreakfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, to soon.
AtoZZZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:16:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then Pierre swoops in to talk about Crosby. "Sorry not sorry"
willyolio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:40:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just happen to be walking by a frozen lake and you see a puck on the ice. I mean, after that it's just a blur of instinct and adrenaline. You might not even realize it happened until you wake up the next day missing a few teeth.
Frankensteinbatch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you ever see Canadians flinch at the sight of oreos, 99.9% of the time, you can safely assume that they mistook it for a hockey puck.
magnoolia ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 20:12:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or if they don't win:
"Eh, who the fuck cares aboot this tournament anyway?"
shadow0416 ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 20:50:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sure hope you heard about the Vancouver riot several years ago when we lost the Stanley cup.
HalfBakedTurkey ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 22:06:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about Montreal's semi riot after winning the first round years back? At least we waited to game 7 finals both times. But seriously we have a problem here.
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 22:17:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Montreal riots whether we win or not, we like to keep things consistent
HalfBakedTurkey ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 22:24:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just keep making your poutine and beautiful women and all will be forgiven. Also maple syrup.
Brunovitch ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 23:35:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So eat poutine out of beatiful women dip in maple syrup? Thats wednesday's night for you over here!
myaccisbest ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:48:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have to wait until wednesday? Move out west my friend.
Brunovitch ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:51:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
West? You mean like Kirkland?
myaccisbest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just come to to the praries, there is a poutine and beautiful woman shop on practically every corner and it rains maple syrup here.
HalfBakedTurkey ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:48:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's Saturday then? Smoked Meat Pete's and some Boustans drizzled in Donar Sauce? I am now hungry and horney.
Brunovitch ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:53:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saturday is "toss the Fairmount bagel onto that delicious jewish smokemeat"
HalfBakedTurkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sunday morning eating out Chez Cora
PointXIV ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:45:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love seeing you outside of /r/hockey.
Brunovitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most likely to happen in the offseason!
redbluegreenyellow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's weird seeing so many people outside of /r/hockey!
PointXIV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm /r/hockey famous enough to be recognized? My life goal, at last! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee
redbluegreenyellow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hahaha, well I recognize you more because you're a fellow hawks fan
GeneralFive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which strip club in Montrรฉal do you go to for that Bruno?
that_girl_from_IT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
temptation
Brunovitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stripclub? No need for stripclub for that! Pretty mild.
RobinsEggTea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
its true
GrandHunterMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The same thing probably would have happened in Vancouver.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:14:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Soccer riots are a fairly common occurrence around the world. It's really not that bad if Canada pulls off like 3 notable hockey riots in the last 70 years.
HalfBakedTurkey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:33:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well Vancouver is two for two when it comes to the finals the last 25 years.
plasticsheeting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
there have been many notable hockey riots in the past 70 years.
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHOOOOO WE WON! LETS BURN THIS MOTHER DOWN!!!!
magnoolia ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:52:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Canucks fan, so yeah. Also, '94.
xzElmozx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck messier
magnoolia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that bald-headed fuck.
NightFire19 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:14:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the one with the picture of a couple making out on the ground between protesters and police, right?
WhoIsThisRoodyPoo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:30:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they lost the Stanley Cup. The rest of Canada was celebrating (they were a very dislikeable team)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh... Not really. They were facing the Boston Bruins who are probably the most hated team in the NHL.
CanucksInsider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:09:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now they are, it was different in 2011. Canada HATED the Canucks.
WhoIsThisRoodyPoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:50 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which really goes to show you how much the Canucks were disliked, all the Leafs and Habs fans friends I had were cheering for the Bruins, and all I remember about talk at the time was cheering against the Canucks unless you were from Vancouver, as well as many comments recalling that Cup Final making reference to the fact that most of Canada was on team Bruins or rather Team anti-Canucks.
Wherearemylegs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:34:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Canada will fuck shit up if they're mad.
AtoZZZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:20:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A few years back, I was talking to a guy who was there, a die hard Canucks fan. His words were something along the lines of "it was game 7 in Vancouver. Would have been our first cup. People showed up with molotov cocktails. They were planning to riot no matter what. Out of joy, or out of anger"
shadow0416 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Vancouver and I can't confirm if that's entirely true, but people went fucking batshit insane. I don't think it would've been as bad had we won, but holy shit.
AtoZZZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your word is better than mine. For all I know, he was bullshitting. But I thought I'd just share
CanucksInsider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it. Everyone knew there was going to be a riot that night.
wlee1987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck is Stanley and why are his cups so valuable?
zedgrrrl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:30:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the time, there were more Canadian and European players on the Bruins team than Americans, conversely, there were more American players on the Canucks team than Canadians. So, one might conclude that the Canadians won. I had to do the research, being a Canadian living in the States at the time.
GrandHunterMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Canadians don't like playing at home because they're treated as celebritys. In the US they're an average person.
zedgrrrl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:49:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes good sense, especially when minor league players get drafted for NHL teams; the players are local heroes but they just want to play. My two favourite teams are the Bruins and the Canadiens, but when it comes to the cup, my allegiance lies with my favourite rivals, Original Six, most Canadians, or, out of desperation, the Northern most US team with actual ice in the winter.
CanucksInsider ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:11:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't be a Bruins and Canadiens fan!! That's illegal!....seriously though, those two are the biggest rivals in hockey.
zedgrrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:40 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My first hockey game was at the Boston Garden (Fleet Center at the time), Bruins vs Canadiens, it was fantastic, they were tied the whole game 0:0, I didn't see the winning goal because suddenly all the Bruins fans got up and left. Regardless of the outcome, my team won.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:53 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zedgrrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:13 on August 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Colour me wrong, but that's what I found at the time of my research; keep in mind, my anecdotal evidence is roughly 4 years old.
whatsnewpussykat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the one years before that.
Lotta angry Canuck fans
Hedgehog999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I don't think that the people doing the rioting were actual hockey fans. They just wanted an excuse to be idiots.
treilly19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
World championships minus this year
xxkoloblicinxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh sorry, we let you win and got your hopes up for next year eh?"
Deathdealer02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, the eh is at the end. Who the fuck cares aboot this tournament any way, eh?
FlacidRooster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This applies to all except the olympics.
magnoolia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:55:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except 2006. Or '98.
FlacidRooster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:04:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recall being pissed
magnoolia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to the life of a Swede.
FlacidRooster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok... my point is, my joke really, is that we do infact care about the olympic game.
magnoolia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, yeah I know. Just messing around.
man_on_hill ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHA GOOD ONE!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:17:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Canada doesn't have that good of a record in the World Championships.
HoboMasterJCP ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:33:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That would be more, "sorry. No seriously, very sorry. Would you like some Tim Horton's?"
papermarioguy02 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:48:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm; am Canadian. I say sorry like 30 times a day.
DarnTootinPatty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could eat at Tim Horton's 30 times a day.
pizzahippie ยท -18 points ยท Posted at 19:25:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no you fucking don't.
I am canadian and this is the stupidest and most dead-horse-beaty joke on reddit.
papermarioguy02 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:33:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually do say sorry a lot but that has more to do with my Generalised Anxiety Disorder than anything else (though 30 is exaggerating, it's probably more like 20). So sorry, I just think the joke is kind of funny please don't hurt me.
BewhiskeredWordSmith ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:37:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Says sorry too much, anxiety problems, AND loves Paper Mario?
Are you my second consciousness?
...Shit, do I have multiples? I think the main one is supposed to be aware of the others... Does that mean I'm not the main one? Who am I?!
c20_h25_n3_O ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:00:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I am Canadian too and my gf's sister says sorry at least 15-20 times a day. Not exaggerating either, I see her almost every day. There is at least some truth to us saying it a lot.
Clemburger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin hippies
SUCK_MY_DICK_THANKS ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 19:26:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no kidding.
"haha, lets make a joke about being decent human beings to each other hahahah!!!!!!!!!"
VikramMookerjee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Tim Hortons" does not have an apostrophe, you impostor. Sorry.
HoboMasterJCP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from Texas. I impost nothing. I have never been to one, so I can't tell you. I do play hockey with a bunch of Canadians though and they all love the place and apologize a lot.
How is there no apostrophe though? Isn't the guy's name Tim Horton?
VikramMookerjee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, there should be but if you look at any of the logos, there is no apostrophe.
HoboMasterJCP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. Oh, Canada...
Shiveron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Bruins would like a word
Dr_P-Ness ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:31:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am Canadian and I've said this...I'm sorry
zedgrrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever noticed how many call centers (centres) are in Canada? Makes sense, considering how we are so unapologetically apologetic.
hotbrokemess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Actual thing I said to my American cousin after we clobbered them at the Olympics)
Phil_Laysheo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just not the Stanley Cup
ptd163 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
American teams full of Canadian players. Even when we lose, we still win.
Phil_Laysheo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Canadians did it again, it's the perfect system, it's like a sports monopoly.
ptd163 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:08:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a monopoly but definitely the most dominate force in hockey.
jinxjar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry you lost again, eh?
๐จ๐ฆ
collapsing_sanity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean: "Sorry not sorry. Sorry."
IAMCANADIAN_sorry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sorry
PubliusPontifex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a Bostoner, how's Vancouver doing nowadays?
Think our city's proudest moment was when we drove Canada to run around setting its own shit on fire.
caseface05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Soary not soary
dglodi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or what every Canadian thinks when they pass the hoser at Timmies that just held the door open for you, when it was well beyond the distance of being polite.
GeeGeeTheBeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
savage
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except during the annual thing where they lose the Stanley Cup to the Americans.
ptd163 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
American teams. Which are full of Canadians.
Fun fact: the 2015 Stanley Cup Champions (Chicago Blackhawks) have the highest concentration of Canadians in the NHL. Even when we lose, we still win.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is only a distinction if you don't believe that Canadians are just Maple Americans (or that Americans aren't just Burger Canadians, whichever you please).
ptd163 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, but what are Maple Americans and Burger Canadians?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The same thing! Americans and Canadians are preeeettty much identical.
Don't... don't overthink it, it's a pretty dumb joke.
howtochoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Put Canada in there and it instantly didn't sound as bad or annoying. It sounds just fine when Canada says it related to hockey
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except we genuinely mean our apology. We feel bad about not feeling bad. We're a very nice stereotyped group of people.
HiDDENk00l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good game, good game, fuck you, good game
omgfckbuttz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, they say "Soary not soary, eh"
FinnTheDogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except when they don't win
Marbla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2010 ๐ข
Xavienth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In one comment you got more karma than I got in more than a year.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*soory
yescalculators ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And don't forget it ;)
thelonelybiped ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Soory, not soory, but soory aboot that"
shadovvvvalker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not true. We lose some.
Then it's "sorry we broke bits of our own city and you had to see it on the news"
TotallyNotanOfficer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:17:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about Russia?
Sorry, or as we say in Russia - ย ะฟัะธะดััะพะบ ัั.
frankyb89 ยท 179 points ยท Posted at 19:27:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone ever said this without meaning to be a bitch? I know I haven't. Used it once, maybe twice, when I was actively trying to be an ass and the person had just pissed me off.
Vox_Imperatoris ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:34:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't the whole purpose of the phrase to let the other person know you're being a bitch?
chillingniples ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:43:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen it where somebody post a sort of guilty pleasure and they use the #sorrynotsorry shit
TheKinkMaster ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:08:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I've ever done it when I am not purposely trying to be a dick.
mynameisblanked ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:28:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See above. "I'm a bitch and I'm proud of it."
No phone, how would I even misspell batch as bitch? The letters aren't even close.
frankyb89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm being a bitch to you in this moment cus fuck you" is more appropriate. People can have moments of bitchiness without being bitches 24/7 and being proud of it. Sometimes nice people are bitch sometimes. Middle ground exists.
There are only maybe 2 people I can see myself saying this
Valdrax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:16:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have, when someone has complained about something petty that I acknowledge bothers them (sorry) but also think isn't something worth making a big deal about / the person is complaining more as a joke than a serious problem (not sorry). Like when someone complains that you made free brownies with nuts in them.
frankyb89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:23:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great non-bitchy usage.
ridediesmile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ughhhh I dislike you strongly
frankyb89 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:47:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry not sorry.
stealtherapist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
to be honest i don't mind this saying. nor yolo.
NehEma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I use it when I really try to be empathetic but I can't at all.
TurboBobSponge ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 16:48:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
raises one's arrogance level 200%
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:12 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Level up!
twerkmasterover9000 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:38:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"soz"
can't even finish the word
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:07:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say soz aloud, but only around people I know somewhat well and when I'm trying to be the biggest douche/asshole possible. Making myself sound like a tool in the process is part of the fun.
LitigiousWhelk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:24:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone actually say that out loud? In texting it's an acceptable word imo, but actually saying it? Jeez.
WASDMagician ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah, might be different depending on country.
I'm in England and it was really common when I was in primary school (16 or so years ago) and those of us in that age range still use it, not so much younger or older people though.
sue-dough-nim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, also in England (South East), but the first time I heard it used was in Year 9 or so (London), I think, which was only 6 years ago. Earlier than that, I've seen it used a lot on the Internet, mainly in games like Runescape.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
bingus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We can't help it, everything gets abbrv.
twerkmasterover9000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Believe me its a thing. My friend apologized to me that way once. I almost punched him in the face
LitigiousWhelk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:16:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should have, and then said "SORRY!"
Ilwrath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no...no it is not acceptable in texting. Might as well let people who use u and r as words off the hook too!
shawnsullivan93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say it out loud when its not a serious sorry or whatever and its just a bit of fun with whoever I'm talking with.
It's never "my grandpa just died", "soz"
Nebula15 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 17:34:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, "Sucks to suck"
longb123 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:20:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer "Sucks to your assmar."
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:20:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer to worship a pigs head.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:45:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love using the phrase "sucks to suck". Sorry not sorry..
detecting_nuttiness ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 16:43:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Truly, this infuriates me to no end. It's a small-minded and incredibly selfish thing to say.
cousin_franky ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 19:34:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's kinda the point of saying it... Because you don't give a fuck.
detecting_nuttiness ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:53:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then just don't say sorry. I think I don't like it because it's not apathetic, it's offensive. If you truly didn't give a fuck, you wouldn't bring it up.
SecretiveNarwhals ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea just tell me you don't give a fuck, at least it's direct. Saying "sorry not sorry" just makes you look like an even bigger asshole.
Democrab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You do care a little, or you wouldn't say anything at all.
mgraunk ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:39:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use this phrase all the time with my girlfriend. We go back and forth a lot, so this is a common follow up to a silly insult (e.g. "you're a nut muffin"). Like many of the phrases in this thread, it all depends on context.
GeneralJabroni ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 17:57:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree. I feel like it could be used appropriately if you have to say sorry but don't actually feel that way. For example, if an angry customer gets angry because his coupon expired last week and he didn't notice (obviously you don't tell them this to their face but you remember it all day, come back home, make a dank meme and post to myspace).
Werespider ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:07:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then don't say sorry.
GeneralJabroni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the whole point, though: according to work, you have to say sorry but not necessarily feel sorry.
Hedonistic_Ent ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:44:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Makes my blood boil
beardo_227 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:48:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Translation: "I'm just a HUGE asshole."
spacemnjack ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:17:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This should be at the top of the list until people stop saying it. Also, "I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin".
The_Kommunist ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 18:39:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh the hallmark of a basic white girl
violetgranger ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:01:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a black girl who would say this after every insult she said to me. Fuck you, jade
SantasLittlePyro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Such a typical name
SecretiveNarwhals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
clicks tongue and tilts head "yea...sorry not sorry." sips iced coffee
Supergeckodude ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:57:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My ex girlfriend used to say this so much. And then I dumped her ass. Maybe you should have been sorry bitch!
SOwED ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:48:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
#sryntsry
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SOwED ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:52:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say hashtag out loud to harass people, but I always do a string of them, ending with hashtag hashtag, hashtag number sign, or hashtag hash browns. Seems to work pretty well.
You should try it with your brother. He might get annoyed enough to stop.
mirrorwolf ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:50:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree 100 it makes people sound like such dickheads
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:59:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Friend of mine came up with "I'm transsorry. I'm NOT sorry, but I identify as someone who is."
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 23:53:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Wanderlustfull ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:43:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? That was kinda clever.
Nervousemu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get annoyed by the people who disagree with your opinion by going starting off or ending with sorry. Like their opinion is actually fact and yours isn't or some shit like that.
StonedGibbon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or even better - soznotsozlol
TheDirtyWu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
justgirlythings
a_dork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can feel my blood pressure rise every time it's said.
Vandelay1ndustries ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:27:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate "sorry not sorry." This should be higher up
fraxinus2197 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:27:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God YES, this one gets me.. Why the fuck are you apologizing for not apologizing?
Gr1mreaper86 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:05:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me this depends significantly on context. I use this myself, but in humor. For instance...wife is flirting with me...says something like: "Why are you so sexy?; you're making me wet just looking at you.".... my response "Sorry not sorry."
Seems appropriate to me. I'm not sorry I turn her on and it's funny to pretend to be but the phrase itself admits I'm not sorry...which is true...it only makes sense and is amusing to me in this situation...
I do see douchebags do this sometimes to excuse shit behavior though; which is where I can only assume your hate is coming from.
bullet4mv92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Along this same vein: "sorry bout'cha."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God I fucking hate this. It's such a cunty thing to say, it screams arrogance and just all around dickishness.
SpaceFace5000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like what does that even mean?!
SkyPork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't know exactly what that one means. Is it "sorry / not sorry," as in, "I'm simultaneously sorry and not sorry, using complex algorithms," or is it "sorry, not sorry," as in, "I apologize that I'm unable to feel sorry." I only know a few people who have ever said it, thankfully.
sublimemongrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omg that is the worst. Who honestly, says shit like that and they expect what? Applause?
WarAndRuin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's said by watsky
echief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Red hair, don't care.
midgethemage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but can I say it sarcastically? Sometimes I just like to pretend that I am the most basic of bitches.
Why_did_I_rejoin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't realise this was a "thing". I was walking through Redfern (a suburb in Sydney with a large indigenous population) and saw someone with a shirt on that said this. I thought it was a bold political statement about the apology to the Stolen Generations.
Boy, was I ever off the mark.
steviestevesteve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I understand that I am in the wrong, but I am too much of a dick to care."
nickcarter13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do people ever use that in a serious way?
sryguys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol sry
The_Companion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say this as a worker in retail. I have to say sorry to customers, even if I don't mean it.
Awesome_Boner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SorryNotSorry
Mont3y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
soz, not soz.
APiousCultist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry but..."
bjbyrne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but...
fireman4884 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What did Watsky do to you?
LOUD__NOISES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if someone is saying this to you they probably want to make you instantly dislike them.
It'd be like saying "fuck you" to someone. Obviously they're gonna hate it.
NeoZenith1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Soz not soz
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
half my coworkers spew this atleast 4 times a day each and every day......make it stop
Grinchette92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ughhh this quote is the worst. I knew someone that would say this after almost everything that he said. Let's just say we aren't friends anymore.
bigmansam45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get so angry at this. I have come soooo close to completely losing it on someone who used to say this at least 5 times a day in my office.
You cannot comprehend how my rage you have induced just by making me read it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not only infuriating but also grammatically incorrect.
LetMeGDPostAlready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just say what you mean.
"I saw this online and thought it was clever. I'm not sure what 'clever' actually means, but I like it. PLUS it gives me an excuse to say whatever I want to say and not worry about offending the shit out of people with my ignorant, shitty opinions! Sorry, not sorry! Mexicans should learn to talk and dress and act just like me if they want to be taken seriously. Sorry, not sorry!"
Banch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I knew I'd find one I actually say eventually...
Pytak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You heard it right, I am indeed an asshole."
_From_The_Internet_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What does that mean?
Lanoir97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's some passive aggressive shit. Like fuck off, quit being a cheeky bastard. I understand you are satisfied with yourself for whatever horseshit reason.
DoctorSalty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My ex used to say that. One of many reasons why she's my ex.
B000B000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
#sorrynotsorry. The hashtag makes it 1000% worse.
TheGreatBenjie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only say that when I'm being an asshole
zodar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The other assholey way to say that is, "I'm sorry you feel that way."
saranis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, there are honestly times when I feel sorry for not feeling bad about something.
issiautng ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. Oops? I only use it when I give my lovers boners in inappropriate situations. I love teasing them.
Edit: I guess I've also said it a few times while playing board games, with friends, as I'm gaining on their lead. But still mostly the boner thing.
Influenz-A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to hate this so much. Fucking hash tag #SorryNotSorry..
The more I hated on it the more it grew on me and now I actually like the phrase :$
jay1237 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of a friend, who I don't really like but I end up hanging out with because others like her, says "sorry" to everything, no matter how small, it's insanely annoying. However what makes it worse is she has a shirt that she wears that has "Sorry not Sorry" on the front.
vhite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
THUMB5UP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw it to my girldfriend to be funny. Sorry, not sorry bro.
_calonyction_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, glad I'm not the only one. An ex said this constantly and all I could ever think was what an arrogant twat he was.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:09:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My gf says this constantly. She doesn't know I hate it. I don't know if she snoops on my reddit. I like to live dangerously.
Sorrydoor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:29:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I-is this bad if said in a joking context with friends? beginning to realise she might have pissed people off ._.
z3rp ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:00:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this. #SorryNotSorry
IllusionLvl_Adult ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say this on occasion, but it's always finished with the quote "I'm a cocksman." No matter the context.
MoeLester99 ยท 4179 points ยท Posted at 15:48:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense, but [insert offensive insult]"
pitpawten ยท 1958 points ยท Posted at 18:00:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Followed by "I'm not a racist but..." or "I'm just saying..."
Kiwi-98 ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 21:24:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my ex boyfriends was the "I love you just like you are, but..." type of guy. That just sucks on so many levels.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:05:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend says "I still love you" when I get a bad haircut.
I'm cool with that. I laugh about it and say "Well, at least hair grows back unlike my feelings!" Then we both laugh because we like to make fun of dramas.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 19:38:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know how ever racially-based joke starts?
Checking over your shoulder.
Kittenclysm ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:32:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I have a joke that starts out with a potentially race-related question, but the punch line is not. And whenever I tell it, everyone starts rubbernecking. To the point where the reaction to the joke has become funnier to me than the joke itself.
Awkwarddiego ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:17:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that's amazing. Tell another!
UsernameOfRassilon ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:46:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you call a black man flying an airplane??
A pilot!
csl512 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:31:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Images: http://imgur.com/gallery/hmY1B
Video: http://www.cc.com/video-clips/gj6xhf/demetri-martin--standup-comedian--not-racist
Chestnut_Bowl ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 19:06:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..." is a fantastic phrase: you know you're about to hear something special.
owlyoudoin ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 23:07:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I mean look, I don't want to sound racist--"
"But you're gonna power through it."
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:59:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I said that during the GOP debate when Ben Carson said "I don't talk about race because I'm a neurosurgeon, skin doesn't make the person, the brain does."
And I was like "I don't want to sound racist, but I wish he were right. Unfortunately, in the US, skin color has a huge effect on who you become. If experiences and brain chemistry make up the person, and skin color affects your experiences, it's going to change who you are because someone with white skin and someone with black skin are going to have different experiences. So saying that is a lot like saying 'gender doesn't make you who you are, your brain does!' No. It doesn't make you who you are, but it has a big impact on who you are. I wish it didn't, but it's not as simple as Carson is making it out to be. That's why it's an issue!"
I like to think I used that in the correct way, but feel free to call me out if you disagree.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:36:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that skin color really makes you who you are, it's just how some people form initial judgement about other people.
I'm not sure I agree with this. I know many people of different races who have become very successful and who do not feel held back by the color of their skin. I think the biggest factor is economics. I know PLENTY of white people who came from families that just didn't have a lot of money and THAT limited their opportunities and experiences in life. Being white is not some guarantee that you are going to be more successful than someone else with a different skin color.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, that's valid (and true, I have known quite a few black people who became successful, and more than enough white people whose economical background royally fucked them) but to act as if the color of your skin has zero influence on your experiences, whether those experiences lead you to becoming extremely successful or extremely unsuccessful, is false.
This isn't an example that's exactly on par, but I don't feel that being a woman holds me back at all. But I do feel that being a woman influences my experiences, and thus influences who I am.
Appetite_TDE ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:24:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the thing... A non-racial future features indifference to skin color and true value found in a individuals contribution to society. While you are not wrong, you are justifying the one facet of our society that holds us back from that bit of equality.
It takes a start to make an end.
If racism were to dissappear, we would have to abandon regional stereotype (read heritage) and provide true "equal opportunity" through several generations.
Once again, you are not wrong... but the abundace those who hold that particular opinion is why you are not wrong. It's time to drop it in exchange for a better future.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:11:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, I understand what you're saying, however I disagree on the cause and affect that you are assigning and I disagree with the fact that this is used as a justification for racism because it's not.
By saying this, I am recognizing that skin color currently influences experiences, which shapes people. When people recognize that things need to change, and they start acting on that recognition, things start changing. Nothing will change by pretending that the problems don't exist, and pretending the problems don't exist makes those problems worse. It's like alcoholism, the first step is recognizing that there is a problem. Then steps are taken to correct that problem. If you never recognize the problem, and you let your pride get in the way of progress and you ignore the fact that you're not in control, you spiral out, your liver fails, and before you know it, your body is falling apart. This is what's happening with racism.
The people who hold this particular opinion are people who want to take those steps, to enact change, to have true equality. They're the people who are saying "The status quo is not right." It's the people who disregard that opinion that hold progress back, because if you pretend an issue doesn't exist, they think it will solve itself.
Appetite_TDE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:21:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you and I are arguing the same point in different words. Forgive my assumption. I read what you wrote and not what you meant.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:02:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For sure. I like a good discussion, so there were no bummed feelings or anything haha. I thought it was an important topic, so I was happy for the chance to elaborate more on the "why" when my first comment was the "what."
And, I just wish Carson had given his implications a little more thought when answering the question. While watching that whole debate (to me) was like watching a sitcom, it still rubbed me the wrong way because it felt like he was writing off the black community for the sake of looking good to the far right, and it really struck me as absurd.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:35:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Racial blindness" and the whole "I don't see color!" thing is just a different form of racism. It's more subtle and insidious though; You get to call everyone from the ghetto a thug and if anyone calls you out you just say "It's not cuz of their race! I'd call anyone there a thug!" It just ignores so much about the way society works.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:59:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It not only ignores racial issues, but it sets a precedent of "It's okay to think like that because I didn't say it directly."
NO! You're bad and you should feel bad for having those thoughts!
owlyoudoin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe you were in the right in that case. These days race is such a hot-button issue you have to tread very carefully, and I can see why you would want to use that disclaimer before you started talking. Although I don't see how what you said could be construed as racist in any way.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:00 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it could be misconstrued as racist because I'm basically saying "skin color plays a big roll in what kind of person you become," but with the amount of elaboration I gave on why that is (because, I like to be concise, and I'm a huge fan of overkill), it's a smaller chance.
IRPancake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love this show.
HFXGeo ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:48:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in South Africa... it's amazing what people will say after the "I'm not racist, but..." and still truly believe that they are not racist...
anschelsc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was it considerably worse there than wherever else you've lived?
HFXGeo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:56:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and no... Not everyone in SA is racist, obviously, and in my experience it was mainly the dutch Afrikaans who were.. not all of them were, and of course there were those who were not Afrikaans who were racist as well, but I had also worked with British South Africans, French South Africans, Polish South Africans, Blacks and Coloreds (yes, that IS it's own racial class there) who were far less racist...
One annoying thing I remember is I worked with a guy from Zimbabwe and these racist Afrikaans kept saying that he was not like their blacks, "Zim blacks are much smarter than SA blacks" kind of thing... well no shit, there was no Apartheid to deny them basic human rights! (not that Zim is the best place either though...)
As for considerably worse than other places I've been, the only other place which comes close is Guyana which has a major social stratification due to race, but they don't try to hide it with the "I'm not racist but..." comments...
anschelsc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting, thanks.
roflzzzzinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
South Africans are known for being the most racist people towards (other) Africans
anschelsc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meaning people from other African countries? Or other South Africans of different races/ethnicities?
roflzzzzinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The white south africans towards people with dark skin, so yeah I guess of other African countries since most of them have dark skin
anschelsc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:14 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was under the impression (from media, I've never actually been there) that many South Africans (of all races) are quite prejudiced against people from other African countries, especially those that have large immigrant populations there.
Rimbosity ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:05:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
chasingreno ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:35:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See but those first three dont really work... why would anyone say "im not racist but" before any of those things? By default, the only reason you would ever NEED to say "im not racist but" is if you are about to say something that can be construed as racist.
PyreDruid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:15:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a non sequitur. Which is the point. Like
"I'm not racist but, my nose itches".
It's just usually the only time that "I'm not racist but" is followed by anything other than a racist comment, it's a non sequitur
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya! Like if you were in a conversation where it seemed appropriate to mention that you aren't attached to black women. It's not racist to not be attracted to black women, but it is possible to not be attracted to black women because you are racist
Nymaz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:51:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya gotta keep up with the times, though. The new code phrase for "I'm about to say something racist" is "This may not be considered PC, but..."
roflzzzzinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not be racist or anything, but asian people BHOOOONE
itsmybirthday523 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:25:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but your shoes are ugly.
Iouis ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:58:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are thoooooooose??
snowe2010 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:10:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! That's my joke! But seriously, me and my friends use "I'm not racist" and "No offense" to say things that aren't racist and aren't offensive. It's much funnier.
hellokitty87 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:55:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's a demetri martin joke. then the other person goes "...that wasn't racist" and he goes "yeah that's why I said I'm not racist. you never listen! ...typical mexican."
snowe2010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:18 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ah I didn't know that. dang. I thought I was original. :/
jerkmanj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be racist, but have you ever noticed that black people played yugioh while other ethnicities played mtg.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:28:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist... But your hair looks really good today.
burf12345 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:58:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That wasn't racist at all
FlashpointJ24 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 20:11:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly--he said he WASN'T racist, weren't you listening?
Typical Mexican.
-Mountain-King- ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:55:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Demitri has a comedy special coming out on netflix in just a few days!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:09:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know. I just said I'm not racist.
snowe2010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been saying stuff like that for years. It's much funnier when people think you're actually about to say something racist or offensive.
edgar__allan__bro ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:30:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, I just say racist things..."
"I have black friends, so I'm not racist, but..."
AuganM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nigel Farage, is that you?
GraharG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
now im not a nazi sympathising gay rights activist, but...
accepting_upvotes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a race realist!", or "It's scientifically proven, look at the [statistics literally found on Stormfront]"
kung-fu_hippy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:28:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The sentence "I'm not a racist/sexist/homophobe/etc, but..." will almost instantly be proven incorrect with the second half of the sentence.
"I'm not a racist, but when you look at the numbers blacks commit more crimes."
"I'm not sexist, but it's obvious that women make less than men because they're more likely to take maternity leave."
"I'm not homophobic, but since most people aren't gay why shouldn't we consider it abnormal."
Just stop right before the "but".
Inet_Addict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If people didn't constantly misuse labels like racist/misogynistic/*.phobic then some probably would't feel they have to preemptively defend what they are about to say.
None of your examples (as written) are racist/sexism/homophobic.
Being critical of someone's actions, referencing data, or being pedantic does not reflect on a person's race/gender/sexual orientation. It seems labels are being applied willy-nilly, regardless of context.
Misogyny:
Not Misogyny:
See the difference?
MarisaKiri ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That's not racism. It's data.
edit: LOLing at the asshurt liberals denying facts
FreeCashFlow ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:04:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's racism if you conveniently ignore the host of social, educational and economic factors that drive that data.
Inet_Addict ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:05:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a difference between ignoring and not mentioning. I'm pretty concerned at the disproportionate crime rates for blacks, but can't even elude to the data unless I write history report before hand.
Even then someone will derail by pointing out that I am wrong because the Reconstruction period was from 1865-1877 and not 1865-1878.
People need to really start paying attention to context rather than misuse the racist label. It's impossible to have a conversation otherwise.
kung-fu_hippy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Without getting into history, Police disproportionately arrest black people for drug related crimes, despite statistics showing that white people are more likely (adjusted for population) to use illegal drugs. 3x as likely according to huffington post.
And getting into history, it's not just ancient history. It's every day in modern life where blacks are more likely to be hassled, detained, or assaulted by the police. And it's every day pretending as though the difference in education prospects of our grandparents and parents doesn't contribute to the discrepancies in poverty. So yes, just going off of the data is incorrect (or at least incomplete).
Going off of the data it's pretty easy to determine that transsexual people are more likely to commit suicide. But if you fail to realize that trans people are also more likely to face social rejection that will often lead towards mental issues, then you've see the data without understanding it.
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3941346
Inet_Addict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have the patience to have this conversation right now, not to mention it's completely off topic.
The point is that FBI crime statistics, and referencing them, is not inherently racist as many claim.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's also wrong data.
Inet_Addict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You had a point I agreed with and just had to fuck it up by your edit.
Newsflash fucktard, a vocal minority does not represent the whole.
Hairjello ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but I hate all black people." - co-worker/ worst person I've ever met .-.
7jaryan7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok i have a friend who's black
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As American who used to live in England, I'd always hear, "I'm not a racists, I just hate Pakis."
You're a racist.
otacon239 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but ice cream is delicious!
MineWiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't hate black people, just black culture."
Jammer13542 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but white people are whores and they stink
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am kinda racist. Fuck half marathons, just do a whole one or stick to 10k's
amanitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist, but there are a lot of fucking Mexicans here."
djglasg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not to be racist or anything but BAAAAAAH"
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QwVyRjz_ewg
Default_Admin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it racist to think racist jokes or stereotypes are funny?
degistered_remocrat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not just saying you're a bitch, you just are a bitch
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also "the fact of the matter is" and then state Racist facts & statistics about race & crime!
brijjen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This might sound a little judgmental, but...."
Ottermatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the classic "I'm just saying what we're all thinking, bro."
No, don't try and push your racism on everyone else. You were the one thinking it, then you said it. Asshole.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have a gay friend but..." is another one like this.
JesusListensToSlayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear this one a lot, "I'm not superstitious, but..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist,but asian people REEEEEEE
Leprechaun_exe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be racist or anything, but Asian people BLAARGHBLRBL
captainklaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...., that being said, ....." is a sneakier version of the same shit
oi_rohe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but I am white, which is basically the same thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a roommate who used to say "I'll be real." Like, "I'll be real, who cares if people die from gun violence?" No, you're not "being real" you're being an asshole.
HellaciousHelen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the South, the phrase "I'm just sayin..." is completely standalone. No context necessary, you can be mid conversation and with no preamble - a complete nonsequitor. Go with that, and trail off into tbe night. I love it.
crazypond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant comic
jimmers14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a racist but you are pretty cool
lucasg20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, I just hate everyone equally.
Umbrall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but cheese is delicious
nicsaweiner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck those people who say "I'm not racist but...."
If you have to preface a sentence with that, it is almost always racist.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but white people are superior in every way.
HeartwarmingLies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a racist but who is the other 2/5th of the President?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but I really don't like Indian food.
basedSkazer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not gay, but 20$ is 20$
chupacabruhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone once told me that anything you say before the word "but" is irrelevant. The older I got the more I realized how spot on it was, but I still do it.
LetMeGDPostAlready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Listen. I'm not racist, like, AT ALL. I mean, I worked with a black guy named Ted for like 8 months, and he was cool. But like..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but blacks only make up 12% of the population but commit over 50% of crime.
Wait, are facts racist?
pitpawten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, facts cannot be racist.
But some counter-points are that:
Could these factors cause crime statistics (while perhaps accurate) to be misleading or give a false impression?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:11:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Take a gander at these and report back to me - http://archive.is/vpCFG
pitpawten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, so I did read that, and they line up with your original facts.
However my question was not about how factual the facts were (they appear to cite credible sources), rather I asked you to address some common reasons why the facts (while real) may not paint the same picture that you would think.
So, I'd ask again:
Your answer may be no but I'd be interested why.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's simply an idea that doesn't have anything to back it up.
Unless you can provide me with a valid source that proves your point?
pitpawten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have anything to back it up, I was more so just curious to hear what you thought on those points.
ReekRhymesWithWeak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but pizza is pretty great...
ChipotleSSW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be racist, but Asian people... [elephant noise]
CelticFrost91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend started off with the "I'm not trying to sound like a racist...but..." the other day and it made me seriously question wether or not he's actually a racist. Good guy though, dad can cook a hell of a bratwurst.
SirSmokeyDokey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...Asian people SUUUUUU-"
Newoski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not being racist, but yeah that quote annoys me too.
alucard_3501 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to start statements that have absolutely nothing to do with race with that though. For example: "I'm not racist, but this pizza i cooked turned out fantastic!" I like to screw with my friends and family.
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree that this is usually followed by a racist comment of some sort. But you have to ask yourself: is there any way to say something negative about a group of people without sounding racist? Does that mean we're not allowed to ever say anything bad about any group of people for fear of sounding racist? How else should people phrase things to not sound racist? For example, if you want to say something negative about a Jewish person or Jews in general, is there any way to say it without sounding anti-semetic? I understand the difficulty here, and it's certainly true that many people try to hide their racism by saying that they're not. But I fear that the phrase it's so clichรฉ that there is no safe way to criticize certain groups of people who feel protected, and I don't think that's right. If you had a point to make which you felt was a very valid, relevant, interesting, or useful but might sound racist, how would you phrase it?
scampbe999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...and I hate to be racist, but -"
"...buuuut I bet you're gonna power through it."
CodingCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's even worse:
"I'm not racist, but all black, Asian, and Hispanic people can go to hell."
doesntshoweroften ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be racist buUUUUUUUUUGGHHYYYY
เฒ _เฒ
kylepierce11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It isn't that I hate the gays... " Hear that shit way too often down here in the south.
likesixhobos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite of all time is "no homo". It's used on all ends of the spectrum, from something that could not possibly be tied to homosexuality to something that is clearly homosexual. "I think dogs are better pets than cats. No homo tho". "Man, that guy is hot as fuck. I'd blow him in a second. No homo tho".
TheGlenrothes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back at the Something Awful Forums they had a word filter that would automatically change whenever anyone wrote "Not racist..." to "VERY RACIST...".
shortcake517 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, I hate everybody.
thelonelybiped ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense, this food isn't kosher
Not to be racist, but bagels are fucking delicious
I'm just saying that pizza is considered by the vast majority to be a tasty food item
allpunandgames ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:52:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know, my brother once told me that nothing someone says before the word 'but' really counts"-Benjen Stark
TheMinecraft13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:47 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"really counts" -Benjen Stark
allpunandgames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:57 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, Stannis.
AgentFork ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:13:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-Daario Naharis
XavierSimmons ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:00:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love the joke where you say something like:
Me: "I don't mean to be sexist, but that's really a beautiful painting."
Other: "That's not sexist."
Me: "I know. I just fucking said that."
Sup-Dude ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:27:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this can be used appropriately in some context. I say it before giving a harsh truth to a friend and I mean it as like, "I still love you bro but you were kinda being a dick to your girlfriend that night", etc.
publicplacereddit ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:17:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "With all due respect"
papermarioguy02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watch this debate if you want to hear it said around 30,000 times from the Green Party candidate.
SOwED ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like "with any due respect" because it shows that you're unsure if they think they deserve any respect.
ClamsMcOyster ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:11:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the Southern variation, "[Something offensive about someone]. Bless their heart." Saying "Bless their heart" shouldn't absolve you of being a bitch.
Aeonoris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, that's just continuing to be a bitch. "Bless your heart" is another way of saying "You're a dumbfuck".
VegatarianT-Rex ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:43:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offence, but I agree with you completely.
Alarconadame ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:09:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't want to sound rude, but..."
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually say this to people who are not involved.
Example: "That girl keeps trying to be my bff, and I don't want to be rude, but we met like 3 days ago. I wish there were a polite way to tell her that you can't just go from 0 to 100 like that."
Alarconadame ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll throw in another one, "I gotta tell you something, but first promise me you won't get mad"
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:32:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That ones on the nose.
I never promise (even though, it would be quite easy for me, as I rarely get angry). I'm always grabbing my forehead and going "Wait... I think I'm having a vision of the future where I'm going to break this promise, so you better get it over with. Better tell me now before I find out by some other means!"
Spoiler alert, it's always something stupid like "I wore your shoes, and got mud on them" and I always do the fake shocked face and gasp, and say it's fine.
If it's something serious, the conversation rarely starts that way haha.
Alarconadame ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I get that a lot from my 8-yo... I'd pretend to be 1 inch away from getting mad, then I say something like "ok, I promised...". I dunno what's gonna happen when it's something serious.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know either. I've had this talk with a few people, because I've feared that I don't have the ability to get mad because I haven't been angry since... I can't even remember, it's been at least since I was prepubescent. So I've talked about fearing "the big one" where I'm so emotionally constipated that I explode at everyone. So usually, people take it in stride when I get fake mad, because I do it so over-the-top that I can't possibly be serious.
But, I doubt it. I'm too easy going for the big one, I'm very much a "what's done is done" person. I think it would make me a bad parent, but great nanny. But I still never promise that I won't get mad, because maybe, just maybe, that'll be what does it.
Alarconadame ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:51:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm a pretty calmed person. Just Wait til your firstborn, those little creatures can/will drive you crazy; but somehow, you couldn't imagine your life without them now.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:17 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I bet! Waking up at all hours, doing those play-screams, the constant noise... it would drive anyone crazy.
I'm too young to have kids. I'm just now starting to think of it as a "maybe possibility in the future, because I can't say for sure what I'll want in 5 years." But! I can (and can't, at the same time) imagine. My friend (My 'wife' because we're facebook married) just had her first this year, and she's already told me so much about how having him changed her entire life and she sees the world completely differently.
So, I've got one foot in the "I think I could pull it off" pool, and the other foot stepping in the "what are you talking about? You're definitely not ready for that" pool.
Alarconadame ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:38 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's great as long as it's at the right time... greetings from Acapulco.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:07 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Greetings from China! I'm from Wisconsin though, so greetings from both :)
Plantbitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the "I'm sorry but.."
dfuzzy1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"bless your heart" <3
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'No offence but you're ugly as fuck and people just pretend to like you...hey why are you getting upset with me?'
Boygonefishn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As opposed to those insults that aren't offensive
resay5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"With all due respect.."
snugglebuttt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad's version is, "I'm sorry, but [something ridiculous]"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not mean, I'm just honest..."
mrpopenfresh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really, this should be at the tope because it's the first I've scrolled down to that is actually said in conversation with people.
overlordkim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone who does this at least twice an hour. It got to the point I stop listening after "no offense." and it's always something that is none of their business.
drbigfoot29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you say no offense but.... then you should probably just stop talking
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"With all do respect, and I'm saying with all do respect, [insert offensive insult]"
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense, but you're pretty good at typing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am guilty of doing this, but i dont use it in the manner you think i would. I always say "No offense, but you are beautiful." or its completely non-sensical "I don't mean to be racist, but you have a really nice butt and i enjoy using it as a pillow."
LookJebidiah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dad's favorite line: "I don't mean any harm but..."
civilian11214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. I agree. Same thing with apologies. "I am so sorry, but"... When you apologize, and end the sentence with a "but" your apology is null and void.
cakeisgreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People misunderstand the "no offense" prestatement so much it's almost funny. They know what they're saying is going to sound offensive, but they feel the information needs to be shared. Their intent is not to offend but to inform and they want to make that clear.
socialbatteringram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any time the word BUT is used in a sentence, ignore everything said before it
Emperor_of_Cats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to use a similar line a while back. This friend of mine has been through a lot of shit and I thought it would be good for her to see a counselor.
"Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think counseling would be really good for you. I'm just worried about you. You know I wouldn't be suggesting it if I thought it would harm you. I'm not saying you're crazy or broken...I just think it would be good to talk to a professional about this sort of thing."
She said she would go, then ended up being too afraid to go. I'm still trying to get her to go. I even offered to go with her. I had to go there myself. It scared me shitless just going into the building (I seriously stood outside pacing for an hour.) I was shaking in the waiting room and would have killed to have a friend there, but I was there on a very personal matter and didn't want anyone to know. I'm so glad I did it though.
These days, only 3 people know I went. It used to just be 2, but I told another friend a few days ago (it's been about 5 months since I went.)
BNLboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
just sayin
isochromanone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came in this thread to post this. I have a co-worker that starts out with this phrase then proceeds to tell you how inadequate you are for your job.
MyDaddyTaughtMeWell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The amazing thing about that preamble is that it can make pretty much anything that follows it seem offensive.
"No offense, but you're a really talented guitarist."
What the fuck was that supposed to mean? That I can't be anything else? That being a guitarist is lame? WHY DID THEY START WITH NO OFFENSE?!?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense, but you're cute.
CyberneticPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say that, it makes me want to say "No hurt!" and punch them in the duodenum.
Zeozes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything said before 'but' does not count
barkbitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same for "With all due respect.... [something insulting and not particularly respectful]"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offence, but defence.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offence but fuck you
jimanri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no offense, but you prejuice is stupid, and you are stupid, no offense
embrasse-moi_bien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a great line in GoT where Tyrion says something like "everything before the "but" doesn't count".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense but fuck you
kjanta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offensive but Asian people SUUUCCKKKK
geppetto10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't want to sound like a queer or nothin, but [insert pervert gay remark]"
Supportbot13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not to be an asshole, but..."
quinnnnn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "no offense" period. It can just become an awkward and confusing end to a sentence.
xntrek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right alongside "I'm not {xxx} but..."
theyoungmachines ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had an old manager that started almost every sentence with either "I'm not trying to be a bitch but..." "I'm not trying to sound mean but..." "Don't be offended or anything but..."
One day I just lost it and said "If you have to apologize for something before you say it, maybe don't fucking say it" and walked away. Never heard her say it again because I quit that retail hellhole.
G8kpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense, but black people are all criminals and chinese can't drive and mexican's are taking all the jobs and indians smell, and irish are drunks and jews are cheap, and italians are all mobsters, and canadians are always sorry all the time."
/s i really hope I didn't need this, but then again, this is reddit
redzrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or when someone (namely a SO) says something really bullshit mean and below the belt, then follows it up with a 'I was only Joking', when you lose your shit.
nosackH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This wins. When will people learn that the listener automatically negates everything before the "but?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense, but "offensive insult" is a pleonasm.
HailbopHogFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. "I'm not trying to be an asshole, but..." If you say that you are about to say something that will brand you as an asshole. Maybe you should just let that statement go unsaid altogether.
taggadem810 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or when southern people insult you so passive-aggressively, it's hard to tell you've been insulted.
ab930 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you hear, "No offense...," prepare to be offended.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bless your heart.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "I'm sorry, but..."
estafan7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is probably less offensive to say, "This is really offensive, but..."
sigepsal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorite sayings is 'No offense, none taken...... ect'.... I'm officially a douche
Teresa_Count ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate to say this, but..."
If you hated to say it you wouldn't say it. You love saying it.
illyume ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I probably shouldn't say this, but _____"
Knew someone who prefaced things with that all the time, and 90% of the time when he did, what followed usually resulted in me wanting to shout "Yeah, you probably should have kept that to yourself."
HamwiseVonTossington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And "I don't mean to interrupt, but...." then proceeds to interrupt as intended.
zillionaire_rockstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like the nice looking elderly couple in the commercials for lawyers:
"We're not the suing type....but we sued the shit out of them anyways, and won."
I-DragonBorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense, but you're a fat, useless, piece of shit that no one can ever love.
Dude, calm down I said no offencse.
andrewpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy who did some repairs in my house who several times a day would start a sentence with "I'm not being nasty" before coming out with something definitely insulting.
Jacksonspace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I'm going to say. I've heard this used two different ways.
Person #1: Doesn't know how to correctly articulate constructive criticism (even if wrongly placed).
Person #2: Is actually trying to hurt you and bring down your self esteem, but wants to do it in a manipulative manner, so they can do it over and over again.
Mastahamma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, this.
Though, in my experience, it's, "No offense, but [something entirely not offensive but now it's offensive as hell now that you pointed that out]"
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but aren't black people just the worst?"
QwertyLime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense, but you're looking a little sickly.
Sensorfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense is meant to be used when you have a differing opinion and you want to disagree politely. "No offense, but I hate your guts" is not how it works.
majnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? Sometimes you just want to get a message across and don't want to offend someone. There are people that get offended easily, and if you have no intentions to offend those people, only to politely point out something (potentially offensive) you just say that.
Usually it's the people that get offended easily are the ones I would dislike.
Spambop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when people think that "free speech" is the right to be an arsehole. Someone told sanctimoniously (on Reddit, of course), "I can offend whoever I want!"
Mmkay.
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"no offence but FUCK YOU!" best response ever to that statement. :)
kriskringle19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say this. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH BY SAYING THIS?
- The only thing they will accomplish is making that person resent them, because pride.
Is it enjoyable to bring people down? They could easily rephrase it as a positive, and attach it to a compliment.
Example. Someone reeks of B.O.
"no offense, but you smell like shit""Have you tried the new Old Spice Citron deodorant? You look fantastic today and the scent would pair perfectly with that shirt!"What it accomplishes: All from Dale Carnegie's "How To Win Friends and Influence People"
It's a subtle hint (positively phrased) at the fact that they smell like shit, and grants them the chance to save their dignity and pride and come to the realization on their own without being put down by somebody else. Dale Carnegie: Part 4, Principle 2 ("Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly"), and Principle 5 ("Let the other person save face")
You compliment them alongside the subtle hint, which lifts them up. It'll give them a feeling of self worth, and will also improve your image in their eyes. Everybody loves being complimented, and it's hard to resent someone who just complimented you. Keep it genuine though.. Part 4, Principle 9 ("Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest") The person is going to be much happier putting on deodorant now that they've been complimented.
floppywanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not to be a dick, but 'insert dickish statement' ."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense but I fucking hate you"
"I'm not racist but fuck Mexicans"
IoSonCalaf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:47:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone starts out a sentence that way, you know they're going to say something crazy offensive.
Jigsus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use it "No offense but why?"
You'd be surprised of how many people are offended when you ask "why?"
Eilstina ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:49:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I pretty much assume that if someone says no offense, that they are going to say something offensive. So I usually just stop them before they have a chance to
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:30:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or another favorite, which is along those same lines:
"Not to be mean, but...."
You're being fucking mean. Stop trying to sugar coat it.
dcikid12 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:46:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time you hear that, you are about to hear the most racist thing you have ever heard...
ultraguy911 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:01:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my "friend" had to terminate a friendship because of this exact sentance.
I'm christian, and any opportunity he could, he'd say "No offense, but you're a dumbass for believing in God"
ALRIGHT YOU SHIT! I GET THAT WE HAVE DIFFERENT BELIEFS, BUT COULD YOU RESPECT MINE! I MEAN, I DIDN'T TRY TO CONVERT YOU!
Fuck you Cam G. Fuck you.
eldeeder ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:10:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense, but crispy toast is delicious.
I'm not raciest, but I'm going to have a bowl of ice cream.
_Peanut_Buddha_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:51:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've stopped saying this and started saying "I'm sorry but,". Shows that I acknowledge its offensive or whatever and I'm sorry about it but it needs to be said.
aeroeax ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:24:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's kind of like "don't take this the wrong way... or don't take this personally".
[deleted] ยท 5388 points ยท Posted at 15:18:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On Tinder/dating sites: "Work hard, play hard."
It's unoriginal and grossly overused.
venounan ยท 443 points ยท Posted at 17:14:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "Live, Laugh, Love"
the_beard_guy ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:31:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live, I die. I LIVE AGAIN!
TheAeroWalrus ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:48:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WITNESS ME!
umer901 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:19:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
VALHALAAA
venounan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This I'd be OK with
ericacs94 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:40:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
especially when they have that saying hung up in their home:)
pillbilly ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 05:05:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These are the same motherfuckers with those generic metal stars all over the inside and outside of their split-level ramblers and those stupid stick figure families on the back of their minivans. Wife watches Dancing with the Stars and husband drinks Bud Light in the garage and gets shitfaced to Toby Keith. They have 2 kids and a dog and have a professional photo taken every year for their Christmas card and everyone is wearing matching fucking khakis. Mommy's Facebook page makes it sound like everything is perfect, but deep down they hate their lives. They did everything they were supposed to do but wish they'd done what they wanted to instead.
RaginBetch ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:45:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your brain is my brain.
throwmetochruch ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:20:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that sounds like its from the heart.
pillbilly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:22:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the trainwreck that did what she wanted this whole time.
sdrawkcabsihtetorW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you got a chip on your shoulder.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:21:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
pillbilly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:26:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always! Hugs are awesome.
BluLemonade ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:15:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eat shit die
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:33:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Eat shit die" Source gtav
eseka0cho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or Ku Klux Klan
thenordicbat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More like eat shit and die.
genivae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, my mom has that on her goddamned wall. It's obnoxious and not even good typography.
thisismysecretgarden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:47:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm moving in with my boyfriend soon, and he has forbid the use of this on any object in the house.
wombat1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eat, Shit, Die
takes_joke_literally ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife thought she wanted this tattooed on her. I have so far been able to cast doubt on the idea without becoming the bad guy.
venounan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My congratulations to you on successfully navigating that potential minefield.
takes_joke_literally ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:10:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's worse. She "designed" the tat idea herself and incorporated it into an infinity symbol, and wants it done with "white ink" because you can "barely see it".
venounan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god it's literally everything bad. There are so many of them.
takes_joke_literally ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cringe! I'm just gonna keep fighting the good fight
spin81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not on Tinder but if I were, I'd take this to mean, down for hookups.
Aeriq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Live Love Inspire
SpoopsThePalindrome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife bought kitchen towels that say that...please kill me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Die, Cry, Hate.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hate boner intensifies.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eat. Shit. Die.
Jeimaiku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eat, Pray, Queef
Paars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "I love to travel."
indycysive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:58 on August 23, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HA! My wife went to a painting class and they had everybody paint a wine bottle along with this slogan. She didn't like it, but isn't the type to paint what she wants instead.
[deleted] ยท 1297 points ยท Posted at 15:40:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
HenryKushinger ยท 4923 points ยท Posted at 15:57:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a nice way of saying they're an alcoholic.
[deleted] ยท 3297 points ยท Posted at 16:29:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Functioning alcoholic*
[deleted] ยท 1491 points ยท Posted at 17:10:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 419 points ยท Posted at 20:12:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a drinking problem, but then I got some money.
UNSTABLETON_LIVE ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:11:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I used to have more money than common sense, now I have more common sense. Not because I gained wisdom, but because I spent money.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get that a little backwards?
UNSTABLETON_LIVE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes i did. Fixed.
Booler ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:17:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a drinking problem. I still do, but I used to too.
itakeataco ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:04:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not fucking stupid, but I used to.
khegiobridge ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:56:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not an alcoholic; alcoholics go to meetings.
MrFurrberry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:40:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
alcoholics go to meetings... I'm a drunk
just4youuu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:27:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now I have a cocaine problem!
soitsmydayoff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And now I'm broke. How much worse could crack be
Walid0303 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So now you have a drinking problem and the money to make it worse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a joke my old college roommate used to say.
D-DC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
liquor isnt expensive
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:52:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No, a functioning alcoholic is actually the opposite of a raging alcoholic. Whereas the RA will steal, fuck, and degrade themselves for alcohol, the FA will almost always stick with actually working to pay for their shit and while they might blow through their savings, they still haven't entirely compromised their future with their addiction.
kpyle ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:11:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yep. I'm a functioning alcoholic. I set rules for myself as to when I can drink and how much. Only after 10 pm and I never after 1am. I can get pretty drunk in 3 hours, so I also try to limit myself to 6 drinks on days I work and 12 on days I don't. I also abstain 1 day a week. Its not healthy, but I like getting my buzz on and playing vidya. Also, never drink and drive.
kelseymo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:11:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like me. Except I'm not very good at following my rules. Once Drunk Kelsey shows up, she has got a mind of her owwwwwn. I hear practice makes perfect, though. I hope that's true.
JLT303 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:28:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're fucking adorable.
SimplyQuid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:10:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well shit. I wish all alcoholics were as functioning as you.
OpenSign ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a sober alcoholic. I don't drink and think about drinking a lot...
deelar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh bless your heart.
If you want to call yourself an alcoholic, I'll give you one thing. This isn't really being an alcoholic yet, but this is definitely how it starts. So you're on the right track!
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you arent an alcholic... i wouldnt even call you a drinker ffs. Stop at 1am? Haha.
kpyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the rule for days I have to work at 9am even then sometimes it turns into 2 and other days I'll just fall asleep at 11 after one beer. Otherwise its like 12 beers until 4 or 5 and I regret it the next day usually.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:18:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It will get them eventually. Eventually a functioning alcoholic will stop functioning.
octopusroulette ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:38:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my mom has been functioning well at work for about 25 years. her home life isn't that great though...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's a "functioning" alcoholic. She recently started calling in "sick" to drink more
InfiniteBlink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to bang out a lot due to my debilitating hangovers. Needless to say, I had/have a problem. Then I went traveling for a year and practically drank everyday. Luckily no responsibility, no problem. Now that I'm back, I've been keeping it in check surprisingly
ndnbolla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mike never mentioned anything about raging alcoholics. His point was a functioning alcoholic is still an alcoholic and I agree. A raging alcoholic is an alcoholic as well. Both cut from the same cloth. It is irrelevant what possibly may happen in the future. You are addicted to something presently. Being presently addicted to alcohol, you are presently an alcoholic.
What I believe is that being aware that your an alcoholic and still drinking every day is a depressing thought and being ignorant while pretending that your a functional (in control with self-made rules) alcoholic allows you to justifying your repetitive drinking so you can save the guilt/shame/depression/some mental issue for another day.
WillyTheDisk ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:13:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always said that a functioning alcoholic is one who's alcoholism doesn't inconvenience others. You're a fucking champ, until it effects them, and then all of the sudden you have a problem.
OldBeercan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I was a functioning alcoholic until I got married.
domesticon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:47:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This pretty much sums it up for me.
garysnailz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:12:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You really can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning
fizz514 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:47:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...I'm stealing that.
kuppajava ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:20:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
deleted
sleepykittypur ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:14:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not all alcoholics miss work.
gsfgf ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:08:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, drunk work is best work.
sleepykittypur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yup, coffee gets too bland to drink after 10 am. It's been a while since i had a solid shit.
OpenSign ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lie
kuppajava ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Almost all of them do eventually if they do not stop, the rest of them die before they do or get hospitalized and have to stop working if they don't stop. Alcoholism is a progressive problem that ends for most in death, disability, or treatment and recovery. Many don't realize just how incredibly dangerous chronic alcoholism really is.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:08:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not true. There is a difference.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:06:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard ya there dude.
AdvocateForTulkas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:08:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't even remotely true.
civilian11214 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:11:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, it isn't a DUI if I ride a bike, Mr. Officerpolicemansir.
Debased27 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:35:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a sober late-stage alcoholic, I consider "functioning alcoholic" to refer simply to early-stage alcoholism.
OpenSign ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's probably accurate. Are you on r/stopdrinking?
Debased27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, no, I wasn't aware of that sub. It's been a few years now, so it doesn't really come up much in my life anymore.
oi_rohe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so, successful alcoholics
PyramldHEAD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me irl!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, thanks.
Vigilante17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And show up to work and not get dui's. It's the DUI that you go from functioning to full on.
mortalomena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, theyre poor enough to not have it enough. Look for celebs, half of them have been in rehab because they can at any time just be wasted for a year straight and still have millions left over.
rd_drgn67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means I can get just drunk enough to know I'm running out, and still make it to the store and back to re-up, kinda.
The_Highest_Five ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Until we go somewhere without any booze...then we're just functioning.
critfist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This applies to a lot of things.
I'mean not those druggies over there. I'm a high-functioning addict.
AKA. I can afford to be addicted to my drug of choice. For now.
jpastore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And blow
eater_of_planets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BEER!!!
mynameisblanked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was probably borderline alcoholic, but then I quit my job and had no money. After about a year sober, I find I can drink recreationally again now, without going overboard.
D-DC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
buying enough alcohol to kill you 10 times cost about 20$ (bottle of everclear)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Functioning alcoholics are just alcoholics who can sober up for long enough each day to hold down a job.
K-chub ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:16:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[Good booze]
FTFY
daltonslaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well...
gsfgf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:05:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer the term alcohol enthusiast.
NoLongerAPotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up Nate
erddad890765 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get this reference!
Also, it isn't a problem if you don't regard it as a problem.
Bladelink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Debatable.
egoods ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I put the FUN in FUNctional alcoholic!
donjulioanejo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, every sysadmin ever?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the time... I know a few people like that. Two of them are very lucky they have been in a unionized job for years because they take a long time to get to work, leave work early, and probably sleep off their hangover a bit at work and take their sweet time doing their job.
Notmyrealname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can spell "Functioning alcoholic" without "Fun"!
Crims0nHawK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FUNctionning alcoholick.
mumma_bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I put the FUN in FUNctional Alcoholic!"
makattak88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I put the "fun" in functioning alcoholic!
Ragnar_Targaryen ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's normally an alcoholic who thinks they're a functioning alcoholic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I was talking about the phrase "work hard, play hard."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking about my rug...
[deleted] ยท 185 points ยท Posted at 16:05:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
110% true
somenamestaken ยท 427 points ยท Posted at 17:03:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
110 proof
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:53:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite thing to see is when people use the quote "Don't water yourself down because people can't handle you at 100 proof" on Facebook or Instagram or whatever.
SlackJawCretin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:13:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But... but 100 proof is only 50%.
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which is still 25% more booze by volume than your normal 40% (80 proof) hard liquor...
DRUNK_CYCLIST ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wouldn't that make it 20%?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, adding 25% of something to something makes that added part 20%.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:21:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Annnnnd there's the functioning alcoholic
AtollA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
220 proof actually.
buh-roken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
220 proof
NE_Irishguy13 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:56:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So only 55%?
RAT25 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:02:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So pure alcohol. Laced with some more pure alcohol
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RAT25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I... Am... Stupid... Thanks
LethargicParasite ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:27:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
dmt267 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:25:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah *220 proof
omgtheykilledkenny36 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:34:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
220 proof*
Srmingus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:06:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
110 speed
johnnybiggles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I owe you 10% truth?
SPICY_BUTT_MILK ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:29:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I just like to do whatever and have fun" = WILL suck your dick
TitaniumBranium ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:39:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This seems like the most true answer.
_Trilobite_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:57:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or that they suck dick but it's cool because they also have a job
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:04:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...shit. I always use it when I'm being a lazy fuck after a long week.
"Tacobleh, why aren't you being productive today?" "work hard, play hard, motherfucker. I ain't even putting on pants."
BewhiskeredWordSmith ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:39:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any day you don't have to put on pants is a good day.
MegabyteMcgee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And do a little coke on the side.
thepeaglehasglanded ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With a shit job. I just play hard. I mean drink a lot.
HellfireAgnostic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And a slut.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I always assume party drugs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or a rapist!
CalmSpider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My first thought was someone with career ambition who spends the week fighting their way up the corporate ladder or keeping a small business afloat and then in their free time plays sports, camps with minimal gear, sky dives, rock climbs, lifts weights, and does metalwork.
Alcoholic seems way more likely now that you mention it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol hobbyist.
thirdegree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya... Alcohol...
mrbaryonyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, if taken literally, means they are erect for most hours of the day and should probably stop bragging about it and call a damn doctor
ron_e123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
DrunkPython ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is an alcoholic?
HenryKushinger ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:15:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's kind of like a catholic, except they really like alcohol, not cats.
myhairsreddit ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had no idea, I just thought it meant they work a lot so they like to do a lot of fun things in their free time.
Shadownero ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This needs to be a meme
HenryKushinger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:15:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you know what a meme is.
Shadownero ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Work hard play hard meme Underneath It's a nice way of saying someone is an alcoholic or something like that.
I'm not sure you're competent enough to understand but there is an explanation.
deHavillandDash8Q400 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit:
Alcohol is evil
Weed is awesome!
AMAducer ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have an upvote!
[deleted] ยท 598 points ยท Posted at 16:31:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
zfrop ยท 1153 points ยท Posted at 17:44:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trashe Don, the liquor that keeps you drunker, longer.
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 21:17:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Get smashed on
the Trashe Don"
mybodyisapyramid ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:15:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it's pronounced "Trashรฉ"
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:04:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kerm64 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:03:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Got confused there, I saw "abs in the tequila." Had no idea how alcohol got a six pack.
CidCrisis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:14:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, thank you. I literally laughed out loud. That was golden. I'm fucking crying here.
Pizzashrapnel4 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:58:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One shot of Trashe Don please.
Mightyskunk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:23:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean, one dumpster of Trashe Don?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:50:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trashedon, the most fearsome of alcoholic dinosaurs.
waywardwoodwork ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:32:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trashรฉ Don - for the classy lush.
iamtheowlman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds more like the mafioso in charge of cheap booze during Prohibition.
nobody_from_nowhere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don Trashe: for those fuckitall moments you just want to forget."
SchalkeSpringer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Goes nice in a mix with Johnnie Worker Red Labial
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:08:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
perhaps ill meet your friend don later
NAD1A ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:38:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read that like trash-ay on da weekends. Thanks for the laugh by improper spacing!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:43:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's wha tI do baby boo
gravshift ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:33:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read this like drunk Yogi Bear.
NAD1A ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me, too! I needed this thread today. Laughs galore.
NAD1A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have an upvote.
gowfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I too get my trash done on the weekends.
Walnutbutters ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This guy plays hard.
tilywinn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:20:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're drunk right now aren't you. I see you there, slurring your words.
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 616 points ยท Posted at 16:23:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I work really hard but I'm broke because I'm terrible at moderation"
TommyGreenShirt ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:33:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college there was a girl who worked at pretty much every store on campus. One time I asked her about it and she said she works close to 40 hours a week (on top of school) and spends most of the money at the bars on the weekend.
It was like time held no value. Blew my mind.
Vitefish ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:54:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well "work hard, only play in moderation" just sounds depressing.
strib666 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
However, it is one of the keys to improving you financial situation.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:39:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
everythingwastakened ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OP deliver
WhackyWavingTubemen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:17:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have a seat, Johnny. We're here to help you
xanatoast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that one hits home a bit.
mightyjake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I work hard and play hard
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I had to make sure that wasn't something I posted. But without quotations. Because I am.
cats_in_the_cradle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit this is me
Opset ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:28:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me, too, except for the 'really hard' part. I work at the level that is required for me to still hold the job I'm doing, but no more.
vinnieb12 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:12:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That they work in a gay steel mill
kuppajava ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:21:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
deleted
csonny2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:29:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're all a bunch of fruits!"
"Be niiice"
kuppajava ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:38:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Dad, why did you bring me to a gay steel mill?"
csonny2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:55:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know son. I don't know."
DarnTootinPatty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:01:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gary, those overalls look fabulous on you! Now massage me, you bitch.
crewblue ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:47:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually kind of helped me in life be happier. I think what it means is that being comfortable and happy aren't always the same thing.
ACompanionUnobtrusiv ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:45:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am 50% dependable"
mr_fuoco ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:54:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a stupid thing to say too, but I had a brief moment of understanding when I realized I get up earlier on the weekend to go climbing and hiking than I do during the week to go to work. So as lame as it is, it felt like it made sense briefly.
bolognahole ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:15:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means they're DTF
INTJustAFleshWound ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 16:01:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means they do generic things with more enthusiasm than someone else doing generic things. They're the perfect generic human pig-baby, ready and able to pig-baby with all of the other happenin' pig-babies.
Pure_Reason ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This needs to be submitted to /r/quotesporn, fucking beautiful
INTJustAFleshWound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL, that image you submitted... Hilarious.
SnakeEater14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sheeple?
portlandtrees333 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:54:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means they work in the steel mill Homer took Bart to.
Addehful ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:26:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something about erections.
alblaster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:34:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
maybe the guy really loves his boner pills?
DrNick2012 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Erection problems
nonameowns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:27:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
passive drunk
aaybma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That they work hard and play hard?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Move 15000 pounds of furniture and then grab ten beers when you're finally home because nothing tastes better. But I don't say that shit.
deadgloves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm to lazy to find out. I even nap at work.
RadiantSun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
For some people, it can mean that they occupy their time very well.
During school and college, I was that "wow he dicks around all the time and gets good grades!" guy but really, I was waking up at 6 and studying 2 hours before going to my first class, then I studied 1-2 hours after coming home every day. It's just that for the rest of the day, because I studied already, I was free to do whatever I wanted and could therefore afford to play Counter Strike for like 4 hours with my friends, who flunked because they failed at doing the other part.
Jynx12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means they work a lot.
SeesEverythingTwice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:03:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the school I'm going to, it means we push ourselves academically but also party hard on the weekend. We like to think we responsibly party irresponsibly
nardpuncher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They want you to think they're capable in both.
They usually say they like hikinh and skiing too.
stevenfrijoles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"play hard" means "i pretend to be erect."
ElectricBlanketLove ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means they have a permanent erection, and never get laid. Swipe left.
TranshumansFTW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tinderboxes are highly overworked things, so they like to go clubbing a lot when they have down time, you know, so they can meet other tinderboxes and have little matchbox babies together.
bakedbern ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one knows what it means. .....but it's provocative.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I take it to mean that they consider themselves a productive worker and like to stay very active in their free time as well.
datchilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means they work all the time and when they're free they always have something planned.
REF_YOU_SUCK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have a shitty job I hate but I have to do it for money so I drink heavily on the weekend."
monkeybiziu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means you spend three days a week fucking up all the hard work you spend four days a week doing.
originalpoopinbutt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means they drink a lot but also consider themselves a hard worker (even if they probably don't work any harder than the average person).
gravitythrone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They work and play with an erection.
kontankarite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They work hard and play touch football with the guys on the weekend. Their life is SO COMPLETE!
blackngold14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ever seen Wolf on Wall Street?
godwings101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means they work too much, so drink a bunch and kill their liver and call that "playing hard".
Peoples_Bropublic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:57:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's supposed to mean "I have a healthy balance of work and recreation," but what it really means is "I'm blackout drunk within an hour after my shift/classes end at least 4 days out of the week, but I manage to hold down a job/not fail my classes."
Slightly_Tender ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm rich and am good at sex
CrazyGrape ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're always on Viagra.
Norvegr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna be Ivy League kids.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:32:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Means (in the case of a man, of course) that they will always be thinking about their SO wheather they are working or in the bar.
WowzersInMyTrowzers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:04 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If used by a younger person, they are most likely quoting a Wiz Khalifa song and it means that they are probably jobless but a C student in college who drinks a lot
Baron-Harkonnen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:50:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find that typically means they do NOT in fact, work hard.
santela ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:36:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are basic bitches.
wannabesq ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:19:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means they think they have a tough job, so they get to reward themselves with partying. When in truth, their job is only tough because they have fucked up priorities, and just want to party and get wasted.
AGrimGrim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means they hate their corporate jobs but feel compelled to keep working unpaid overtime to hopefully impress their boss, who in actuality doesn't give a shit, and then after work they hit the gym for chest and biceps 4 days a week, and then binge drink on nights and weekends so they don't have to think about the rest of the day.
Give or take.
Gr1mreaper86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used the phrase to describe myself sometimes actually. It's not really that complicated. From my perspective; it means I have a full time job and work really hard in both my personal and professional life so that I have the money and freedom to enjoy my free time to it's fullest. Which usually means I use recreational drugs, have lots of kinky sex, and I look like a party animal to anyone that didn't know I worked really hard to be able to do that and maintain my other responsibilities which I have no shortage of.
I suspect it's "overly used" because a lot of people work hard to accomplish a similar outcome.
tylerthehun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means they have poor time management skills.
Timothy_Claypole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means "work hard, be an asshole outside of work"
therealgillbates ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are bragging about being successful (work hard), and can afford to have awesome times (play hard) and if you let them they can show you a whole new worlddddddddd
sidious911 ยท 2069 points ยท Posted at 15:51:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most people who utter these words are just childish fools who drink excessively, and are terrible at their job.
[deleted] ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 16:52:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:00:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hard hard, hard hard.
emmanuels10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pretty much sums up my work day
CalmSpider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I drink very little and browse Reddit at work. Work easy. Play easy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get to drink at work and browse Reddit on Fridays. Does that count?
[deleted] ยท 1246 points ยท Posted at 16:20:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you're fun at playing hard
_EqualAndOpposite_ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:56:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you're hard at playing fun
Brohanwashere ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:00:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you're hard.
Easy_Rider1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:52:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
24/7
I_Bin_Painting ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:26:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, I only play at being hard. :(
sbroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's a hard player for sure
MirthMannor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hardly play.
johnbanken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With my wiener
Asks_Politely ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:50:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
Uncle_Skeeter ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:21:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm only hard when I fuck.
THEJavaApprentice ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:23:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So never ?
nate800 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:33:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know a single person who uses that phrase and has an actual job that requires hard work.
Mr_Walter_Sobchak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:09:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say it to myself when I want to go do something expensive, but that's because I work 50ish at my weekly and another 20 on top consulting so when I get a chance to play I do it big I guess.
nate800 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:39:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah it makes sense then. I have people in my life saying it while they work 20 hours per week at footlocker, live at home, and then blow their entire paycheck at the bar.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:37:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But but I like 22 Jump Street.
Gimme some of that WhyPhy.
Work hard, yes. Play hard, yes.
alblaster ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:36:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it makes me think of the stereotypical business major douchebro with slicked back hair, a tan, possibly pursed lips, who acts like he's smooth when he isn't, and who probably looks at himself in the mirror when people aren't looking making kissey faces.
l2np ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drink a lot, posture a lot.
IHateTape ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:24:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weird. My dad has used this as his go to saying for as long as I can remember.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:30:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya If you work hard I'm pretty sure your gonna want to sleep hard instead of play hard.
Princethor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:45:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
19-24 yr olds?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:59:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At this moment, are you euphoric? Perhaps not by some phony God's blessing?
ManWhoKilledHitler ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:23:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think he's a professional quote maker.
Alethiometer_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi to you too.
rj20876 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, im good at my job.
benchley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Work bad, play dumb!"
RadiantSun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it's not a bad idea though. I was one of the "lol, I never study, play all the time and get good grades!" kids in school and college and it was bullshit, I literally studied 1 hour im private for every hour I played and dicked around in public. It works.
Giggle_miser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All the guys i work with do this. It makes me cringe, every 5 minutes someone's like, "Oh fuck yeah bud i work hard but play harder buddy!" I try not to laugh because theyre on like a 2 hour smoke break and shoild have finished their work hours ago. /rant
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. I know it's cliche, but during grad school this was the motto. You're right though, it was binge drinking and partying between cramming, teaching, and writing. I miss grad school.
Hookedongutes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...I used the term while I played at a park with a two year old.
We aren't all dirt bags!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
L9l
JDazzleGM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Everyone I've heard say that phrase is shitty at their job and I've had to fix their fuck-ups from time to time.
Jive-Turkeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I "work hard, and relax hard." I'm good at my job, work my ass off, and come home to GF and child. I drink heavily, but that's a personal choice. Ain't nobody got time for play!
bcgrm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:02:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the drinking heavily is the play hard...
Jive-Turkeys ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:29:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's no play; I take that shit seriously ;)
donnowheretogo ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most people who generalize based on a single quote are dicks
FrankiePoops ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:52:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, those two things aren't always tied together. Some of us are high functioning.
fizz514 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:35:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! Just because I drink excessively doesn't mean I dodge responsibilities or don't carry my weight. It just means I have a void in my life because I'm too scared of getting hurt to ever open up to somebody, and rather than letting my mind analyze my unhappiness to death I'd rather drink too much and hang out with friends either in person or online.
You know, hypothetically or whatever.
hornyhooligan ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:04:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I heard you can get whyphy around campus 24x7"
"Are you sure that wasn't WiFi?"
".....Oh, fuck you brain"
bewaker27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just watched that movie. Was fun.
jyetie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What movie is it?
Darth_Sensitive ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:10:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
22 Jump Street.
[deleted] ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 16:09:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My company likes to use this when advertising to new job candidates. I internally lol and cri ertime
JoeClarksville ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:53:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually that just means that they use alcohol to ignore the fact that the job burns you out.
ladykalessia ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:29:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can confirm this is true of the Silicon Valley at least.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe so, although there's a lot of alcohol here. Most of our people are really proud of the word they do, and we have a lot of bbqs and parties during work hours where beer is served. Still, such a corny-ass phrase that I hate. Apparently our holiday parties are actual ragers.
jyetie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That actually sounds like a cool company to work for, if you get past the clichรฉ phrasing.
What do you do, if I may ask? Not like specifically if you don't want to say, just the general field?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talent Acquisition for a drug company. I love my job so much
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pharmaceutical.
DogManDooDoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Red Ventures?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Naw
newloaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining a serious of grotesque facial contortions as you sit silently in your cube contemplating their foolishness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Essentially. It takes everything I have not to bring my palm to my forehead.
patrick_Batemann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Insight global?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude what
CJ090 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You want people to think your company is a pyramid scheme? Cause that's how you get people to think your company is a pyramid scheme.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not luckily, I don't want to give the details because it's a well-known business at this point but we don't sell anything and based on the company's reputation and the reasons people apply here there's no way anyone could see this place as a pyramid scheme. Strictly scientific research but even though the phrase sucks balls it's definitely the truth. So many parties
phantomtofu ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:11:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if it's "Work hard, party hard" on a shirt with a rhinoceros that's wearing a party hat? Cause that's one of my favorite shirts.
honeypuppy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:19:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rhinoceroses don't wear shirts.
phantomtofu ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:22:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I just got called the fuck out.
tigerking615 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, they f*cking charge your ass.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
shirt sounds awesome.
DarnTootinPatty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A rhino with an erection...that has a party hat on it.
masochistmonkey ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:06:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are you doing with your life? "Living it"
kyleguck ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:05:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Grindr has the problem of every other person referring to themselves as "Young professional." Not even an "I am a young professional." Just the two words and it is infuriating cause they usually just mean they're a manager at Subway that works out a lot.
CJ090 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU. I'm not the only one. When ever I see "professional" on a dating site it's 99% of the time said by someone who looks straight out of a trailer park. Putting on a pants suit and working reception at a DMV doesn't make you a professional.
dunaja ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:16:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tinder's is actually "Work hard, play hard, get hard."
DrDisastor ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:10:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone posted "I slack off at work and am a lazy lover" would you at least message them for honesty?
arachnophilia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's tinder, so... are they hot?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:06:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing inherently wrong with the phrase, it's who's using it. Getting plastered on overpriced drinks in a shitty nightclub isn't 'playing hard'. Playing hard is something like wingsuit base jumping on acid. Up the ante, bitch motherfucker.
CrazyBastard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Looking for someone to take me on adventures"
cheeseburgerwaffles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
every girl on tinder has one of the following.
-they're "great" at mario kart
-picture of them with a tiger
-if they're relatively "normal" or unattractive looking, their profile pic is of them in a group or with one more attractive friend
-a mention of yoga or cross-fit
-insta: (insert stupid instagram name here)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But what if they are both CLASSY and SASSY, huh?
Betatide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta be original and funny in your Tinder bio, otherwise what is the point.
My bio is a rip on a Red Green quote. Now like 90% of my conversations start with us talking about duct tape.
Darth_Sensitive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Continue...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Live, laugh, love" is a popular one with Irish girls.
bolognahole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I work hard and do play hard. I take playtime very, very seriously!
SteroidSandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We work hard. We play hard"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But they're living life to the fullest!
No hookups.
cambuie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same with, "I love to travel!"
Of course you do. Everyone does. Tell me something about yourself I can actually use.
shmadman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also like money
osirisphotography ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or when they use pictures of them from when they were 4. Yeah I give a fuck what you looked like as a toddler.
shmadman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tinderella looking for her Tinderfella
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "not looking for a hook-up." Yes, yes you are.
Mustard-Tiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
changes tinder profile
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Zacmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Pot of coffee by day, bottle of wine by night" is a better, more mature sounding phrase.
SpleenyFBaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I drink coffee like its water, I love traveling and animals and I'm always up for an adventure!"
boust12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also hate "I'm looking for a partner in crime." Every third profile seems to have that. Ugh.
problatikal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the Marilyn Monroe quote of "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
megoodgrammar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah Wiz Khalifa!
Mewing_Raven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, you have priapism?
ILIEKDEERS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally never seen this on tinder. But now I expect too. :(
Eurynom0s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When okcupid still had the "most private thing I'm willing to admit" question, I knew the girl is a total tightass if her answer was some variation of "nothing".
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On girls' pages or guys'? I rarely see this with girls in my area. You know what I do see?
"I just wanna adventure"
"Netflix addict"
"Tinder is stupid"
"Why am I here?"
"I don't message first and you have to make me laugh"
dglane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OMG, there are so many such phrases on dating sites. One of the most tiresome to me: "I am living my life to the fullest." Apparently there are a helluva lot of people living life to the fullest but I'd love to see their actual day to day life. I bet it's pretty damn boring and routine. Of course, I suppose that could be "the fullest" for them.
Liquidmentality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Looking for adventure."
berooz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1: 'Work hard, play hard' is the mantra of a drunk who doesn't work that hard.
from @gselevator
edit: wtf with the formatting. the # is part of the tweet.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is
"I'm down to earth, not like anyone else"
Bitch everyone is down to earth. Barring a few astronauts.
ClassicCarLife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHPHY!
aadesousa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whether I'm at work or with friends, I always maintain an erection.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Things women say on their dating site profiles that really bug me:
"I [don't know how to/dislike] [talk/talking] about myself." I'm not asking you to brag, but the fuck do you like so when I message you I can cater to those things.
"I'm funny/random." No, you're not. holds up spork
"I love to laugh." Have you met people who don't?
It is mind-boggling how many women's profiles contain at least 2 out of these 3 lines, or some variation of them.
ynwestrope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drink every time a guy describes himself as either "chill" or "laid back!"
Drink every time you get an opening message from a guy with <50% match percentage
Drink every time you get an opening message that calls you some sort of pet name
this gets me and my gal friends very very drunk very quickly.
Reamofqtips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work hard and by the time I'm done I just want to go home and nap, I'm 26, I ain't got the energy to both work hard, and play hard. I have to pick and choose.
Cpt_Tripps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
dicks4dinner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
love to laugh
dgauss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I justify my alcoholism by citing I have a job."
chasethenoise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They put in 40-50 hours a week then get trashed with Phil from accounting on the weekend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude you got some whyphy
Why_Hello_Reddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To add to this, "movers and shakers".
Sbaker777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe how many Tinder profiles say "I speak fluent sarcasm" or some variant.
sweetnumb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do everything hard ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
DonnFirinne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly overused: "I'm really shy, but open up once I get to know you!"
skeever2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Much like the gals on tinder
Beehive2013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know if it's a Utah thing but, every girl "looking for an adventure" or however they phrase that. Like, should I bring my cold steel Bastard sword?
adub887 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tinder bingo: "live, laugh, love", Picture with a baby tiger, Climbed the top of a hill. yoga pose , beach pic, puppy pic, Pic with 5 other girls that look the same, Sky diving pic.
AKSasquatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Work a dead end job / like to stay home a lot
Now there's a keeper.
HI_Handbasket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hardly work, play at work."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, "I'm me" or, "I'm just me." Who the fuck else would you be?
asianguy63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
But.. but.. what if pornstar?
bag_of_oatmeal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm lazy, but I also am not good at sports or video games."
yoloruinslives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i spend everything i earn!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly: 'Living life to the full'
Then you look at their pictures and all the evidence suggests they go out boozing every weekend.
mirrorwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Version that I like much better:
Sometimes you have to work a little so you can ball A LOT
sup3rdr01d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Work hard, play hard, live hard, die hard.
I'm hard.
brashdecisions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I probably won't like you"
Good job, woman. Way to be
LtSpinx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does that mean you do these activities with an erection?
Wrecked--Em ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saw "6 foot or 6 figures" could you be any more shallow?
ghost_ranger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also the word 'travel'.
darth_stroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This boys work hard, but they play harder!
Wyrmser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love dogs, family, and travel
TheReflexTester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They probably just work at a steel mill
aperson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are they steel workers?
FlappyFlappy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you feel about my motto. "Work hard. Nap Hard."
Mattho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like "Play hard, go pro.", but not in the pro gaming way. Just that... there are results I guess? Hobbies or not. You know, practice makes mastery.
fattailwagging ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually means, "I work stupid and drink to much".
gwr215 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i just think of the steel mill scene in the simpsons when i hear this.
everybody dance now
xereeto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
keep partying like it's yo' job?
babylamar33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That or "I'm the biggest Netflix fan." Yeah you and a million other people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I'll probably like your dog more than you.'
God you're so cute and new age at the exact same time.
maybeCarmenSanDiego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the one I hate the most: "working hard, or hardly working?" smirk
I'LL SHOW YOU HARDLY WORKING ONCE YOUR NOSE MEETS MY FIST.
swheels125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But how else will I know how hard they work and how hard they subsequently play?
TetrisArmada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I hear this phrase I'm immediately reminded of the Gay Steel Mill episode from The Simpsons where Homer and Bart are at a steel mill, and the construction workers suddenly start dancing as lights dim down, lasers start emitting, and "Everybody Dance Now" starts playing.
"We work hard, and we PLAY hard!"
Sir-Barks-a-Lot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dad. Why did you take me to a gay steel mill?
blackout27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's sad is I want to take the quote seriously because going into freshman year of university is gonna be hard. All I know what to do is play hard, never have I ever worked for something before :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Play Hard, go pro.
Knucklesammiches ยท 3093 points ยท Posted at 18:40:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't read" like it's a grand achievement.
RobinsEggTea ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 01:21:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of the younger guys at work once said he doesn't read for leisure and tries to avoid reading when possible and it was like he admitted he likes shoving firecrackers up frogs arses or something.
Everyone stopped working on the spot and just like looked at him and all started questioning him in amazement. We could not resolve the discussion at all. We could not reconcile our differences. We had to just stop talking about it after awhile. But he gets razzed about it now ever since.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:45:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
CastleLAX3 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:57:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate how elitist reddit is about reading, even if just got leisure. Like dude, sorry not everyone shares your interest.
Dead_Moss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:27:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you realise how far some people take the "I don't read" mentality. I've had people tell me that Reddit is a crap website because it's all text and express bafflement at how I could enjoy doing what I do right now - reading.
clockwerkman ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:02:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can get not wanting to read for leisure. But avoiding reading in general? Considering that the vast majority of information is conveyed through reading, that belays ignorance.
LebronMVP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, still not wrong. Lets say you are about to build a chair, you have the option to wing it or to read the manual.
NOTHING WRONG with trying to wing it because you dont feel like reading through the manual.
Same with any other situation you just dont feel like putting in the effort to read something front to back.
clockwerkman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:26:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you're entitled to your opinion.
CastleLAX3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:17:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm referring to leisure for the most part. Any time a thread like this comes up, the "if you don't read you're ignorant and uneducated" circlejerk comes up and it makes me cringe. Not once in my life have I read a book for fun because it simply isn't fun to me.
clockwerkman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:11:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally understandable. I was going for more the safety manual/textbook/news side of things.
I read a shit ton as a kid. Not as much any more though.
thedistrbdone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Idk what happened to my motivation to read. When I was younger I read like a book a week (more if it was vacation time) but now it takes me like a month to get through a book
TheMatterWithYouRock ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:28:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to me for a while, then I realized I hadn't really updated what I was reading from when I was younger.
For example, I used to really like YA novels, quick easy reads that I'd swallow up in a day. Lately I've been finding myself bored and not finishing books, until I realized I just needed to up the difficulty level/ subject matter.
Boom! Reading again. Try it.
thedistrbdone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:43:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do, I like to read stuff from Vince Flynn, and the guy that writes the Jack Reacher novels (those are my favorite!) But I think it's mostly due to college :/ by the time I have free time I'm exhausted, so if I read, I fall asleep, so usually I opt for video games :/ but also as far as easy reading when I was a kid...I was reading Harry Potter and Ender's Game, I was never one for an easy read lol
driftingfornow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe try novellas or short stories? I go in and out of the same issue with fiction. I have an issue with depression but a compulsion to understand things, so I can devour non-fiction, but my attention and motivation for fiction were shot.
I started with a volume of short sci-fi stories from the 40's-50's and now enjoy reading smaller but significant books that pack a punch, but with brevity. An example is Catcher in the Rye.
Maybe try Amalie Nothomb. Once you get going, its easier yo keep with the momentum.
thedistrbdone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually in the form of short stories, I have found r/nosleep, which is pretty awesome, but can be hit and miss :/
TheMatterWithYouRock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:20 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah that's what I mean, Harry Potter and Ender's Game are pretty easy reads, esp HP. Long books, but clearly written and easy to understand with easy to grasp subject matters.
I was gonna suggest books that are either more difficult to read (like Infinite Jest or House of Leaves) or with harder subject matters (a lot of non-European/American books).
Lack of free time and exhaustion is something else entirely though, I feel for you :(
thedistrbdone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:35 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
4th year computer scientist haha ๐ข๐ข๐ข my next semester is 20 units, but I'm trying my best to rekindle the fire. I was in the middle of a Vince Flynn book on my phone which was really good, but my phone got stolen, and I haven't had a chance to re-download the books. But I'm all for your suggestions! I'll look into them :)
D-DC ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 09:36:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why? where humans built to read lines of ink? Is that what we should all just spend our time doing? Fuck reading, there are many other ways of acquiring knowledge and information, most of which are more fun than reading.
RobinsEggTea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We climbed out of the cradle of humanity by learning how to read. The birth of the written word was arguably an industrial revolution in itself. Through recording our knowledge, our ideas and feelings and our identity and history we became immortal.
So yes. Modern man was born to read and record lines of ink.
D-DC ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:21:58 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like I said. There where many and ARE many other forms of communication that work as well as writing, in parallel forms.
RobinsEggTea ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:58:24 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And when they are all gone to dust, there will still be words written down.
[deleted] ยท 160 points ยท Posted at 00:34:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who revel in their ignorance are literally what is wrong with this world right now. It's like a god damned stupidity movement going on.
ZombyTed ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 00:52:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Foundation can always use more D-Class personnel.
ibbolia ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:51:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a no questions asked position too. As in, you don't ask questions.
TomcatZ06 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 02:43:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the last place I would have expected to find an SCP reference
Ruvic ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:03:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea. No lead up or anything. just... there.
Weird, huh?
Neospector ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:50:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[Redacted]
Aidinthel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:56:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Reddit is the last place you'd expect to see an SCP reference?
ai1267 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:39:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like someone could use a little Montauk.
TomcatZ06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, in a random AskReddit comment
Robertmaniac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:01:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
there's a subreddit /r/SCP
ai1267 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:38:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
ZombyTed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love you too.
loganjvickery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, I don't read so I didn't get your reference.
ZombyTed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's fine, it's your turn to walk -682 anyway.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:45:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Class-D.
The Federation.
jpastore ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:37:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked someone: what's the biggest problem in the world? He was taken aback. He said he never really thought about it. He said: it would have to be greed and stupidity, and really they're 2 sides of the same coin. I was blow away at the simplicity of the statement and its accuracy.
conquer69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:01:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. There are a lot of greedy smart people out there. Like sociopaths.
jpastore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like psychopaths
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, income disparity due to the greed of the 1% is easily the other "very wrong" thing with the world right now. Income disparity (greed) and the poor who blame the poor for it (stupidity).
jpastore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I took it as the greed was ultimately stupid because of how self destructive it tends to be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt the CEO's who have swimming pools full of money would call greed self-destructive. Sure, they sell their souls, but they're doing it in comfort.
jpastore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Until that bag of paper becomes worthless
ingridelena ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not reading isn't ignorance.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:46:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Show me where I said it is.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:13:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes because everyone who doesn't read is an ignorant fool. No I do not read, it doesn't make me stupid. I just spend my time differently, I'm far from stupid and not reading hasn't caused any lack of knowledge in me. But I never proudly announce I don't read, there's just no point at all.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You thinking there's no knowledge to be gained from reading books ("not reading hasn't caused any lack of knowledge in me", like, really?) is just as absurd as you reading my comment and thinking it somehow translates to "Everyone who doesn't read is an ignorant fool".
I read, but I'd sure as hell be more knowledgeable if I read more.
jayjay091 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:27:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Surely it depends what you would read and what you would do if you were not reading. I can see many situations where reading would make you less knowledgeable compared to something else.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:46:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read the odd science article here and there but nothing that actually fits into my schedule. And I don't read in my spare time. That's what I think would count as "not reading" anyway. It's not like I see any sentence online or elsewhere and say "nope, not reading it I want my knowledge handed to me in video and/or picture form please!".
PM_ME_YOUR_CAT_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well i dont read either but thats because i have problems visualising the stuff in books. Also, i dont brag about not reading
Senor_Platano ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 00:28:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Fucking when a 1 paragraph thing is stolen from Reddit and put on 9gag and all of the comments are gifs, pictures and comments saying "lel kek didn't le read" and they have 2000 uplikes or whatever 9gag points are called.
Stylux ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:44:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upgags.
HeyYouMad ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:57:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
top kek
Illucam ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 01:17:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love the idea of reading, and I fully understand the benefits it would bring to my vocabulary and so on, but it's just never something I've been into. I read non-fiction to educate myself, and the news (hah), but why is it so awful if someone isn't much of a reader?
I enjoy playing games, watching movies and I make a living with my art - reading for pleasure doesn't fit into my routine. Why look down on non-readers with such a negative view? It's a hobby or practice like any other.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:04:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining a scenario where someone says "have you read x book" and the response is a sort of "psh, I don't read," as if reading is pointless or only for nerdy types.
kahbn ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 01:29:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's the difference between not being into reading and reveling in your avoidance of the greatest invention known to man.
SquirtleSpaceProgram ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 02:38:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The ability to harness and store electrical energy?
neoAcceptance ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 04:18:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I build "robots" almost daily and I'm well aware of how batteries are wonderful wonderful things, but holy fuck, how dare you compare the only chance at effective immortality any of us have with a boring-ass stored potential. Considering as how the industrial revolution fucked our planet, and writing gave us everything from Shakespeare, to calculus, to eventually those lovely batteries, I think writing takes the cake.
loganjvickery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, reading, not writing.
D-DC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
writing is a form of comminication, of which there are many more forms of
Enantiomorphism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Writing is very special because it allows knowledge to be passed down from generation to generation in a very precise form.
As far as greatest invention, I'm not really sure, though.
What about cooking for example? It is what allowed us to live and expend so much energy.
What about speech? It has allowed us an intricate level of communication. Many things we learn and feel are because of speech - it's ingrained into our minds.
What about markets? The power of markets is insane, it's what has propelled much human progress, and somehow creates prosperity by simply trading. I mean think about how someone in the modern day can earn a living doing something completely unrelated to sustenance. Markets have allowed humans to move on from farming all day.
Or what about empiricism, or mathematics, or storytelling?
There are so many great inventions of mankind, that picking one to be the greatest is kind of foolish.
Beingabummer ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 06:58:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, the arrogance is almost palpable. This is why people act like not reading is a great thing: because they don't want to be associated with people like you.
kahbn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:16:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the ability to put thoughts into a physical medium, so as to pass them on unaltered.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:40:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Written language > Harnessing electricity
SquirtleSpaceProgram ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:45:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is about reading for pleasure. Not writing.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:47:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is pretty obvious from the context he means written language, especially since reading isnt an invention.
SquirtleSpaceProgram ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. I would argue that both advancements are of similar importance.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely both massive achievements in human technology.
CricketPinata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you think we figured out how to do that, people writing things down, people reading them and building on top of them.
There is a reason no modern society that has modern level technology is an entire oral society.
D-DC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
black lines of a certain shape "invention"
Knucklesammiches ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:46:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the ones that are proud of not reading. Then give the reader a "why would you even bother?" Look.
JuggernautV2 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 00:05:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You dont perform a basic human skill? Oeh nobody gives a shit.
slc-punk ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:01:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
only around 26% of the human population is literate. Its not at all a basic skill.
Mordisquitos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:29:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The global literacy rate is actually 84%. Not that it means 84% of humans "read" in the sense we're giving it here.
JuggernautV2 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:04:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We got a special snowflake over here
Sam_MMA ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:40:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOU CAN PREFORM A BASIC HUMAN FUNCTION? HOLY SHIT!" -Frank
JuggernautV2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:00:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Papafranku has taught us many wisdom from chromosomes. Also how to piss of chinchin
D-DC ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:44:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
most of the world can't read their native language. Reading is shit
JuggernautV2 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Again special snowflake
I_AM_TARA ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 00:21:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh hahaha I suck at math"
iSancty ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 00:43:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually suck at math though. I failed Algebra 1 three years in a row in high school. Definitely not an achievement but it did happen...
DLottchula ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:18:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea Fuck math. The numbers never stop.
omfgitzfear ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:01:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's the thought that counts
BrightShadowHunt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:27:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BUT I CAN'T COUNT.
Ruvic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood that. It's not that im inherently good at algebra or such. Its just that the ideas kinda fit. the equations spell out like sentences. Makes me a bit of a dick when helping my brother with homework.
ssskuda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:31:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same thing, graduated in 2004, didn't use algebra for 6 years or so, still makes no sense to this day.
D-DC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU ME?
Enantiomorphism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The "hahaha I suck at math" is usually used derogatorily though, or as weird half-compliment.
I mean, when you meet a lumberjack, would you say "hahaha I suck at chopping down trees"? It's just an odd thing to try and respond to.
Master_of_the_mind ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:28:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First day of programming in college. Helping some chick.
Do not give up before you start ffs.
ShortGiant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, it is literally true that many people just can't program.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:47:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing about maths is that there are 3 groups: Those who can't do it, those who can do but can't understand it and those who can understand it.
I fall in the middle category and I will tell people I suck at maths despite just this year getting an A at the years highest level in highschool. I envy those who could be asked a question and get it right with little thought.
ben7005 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:28:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate people like you. Also, while getting A's is not always indicative of math skill (in high school at least), you should feel good about your success. Math classes can be frickin hard, and you have the academic prowess to excel in them. Congrats :)
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:43:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks :)
philly_fan_in_chi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:31:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And there's the 4th group. The ones with degrees in it that realize they don't and can never understand it all and constantly bang their head against the wall trying to understand some other esoteric part of it. This includes every PhD and Fields Medal winner.
thedesignproject ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:50:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but when I say that I'm not bragging. It's embarrassing how bad I am at math.
tarajay_89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:12:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Tara too!
ingridelena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not going to feel bad about being bad at math and you can deal
QuinlinVos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually respond with "So am I, but I'm trying to be better".
Huex3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People say that because they're trying to be modest and honest, not because they aren't practicing enough.
iamaneviltaco ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:22:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This, it's literally the one thing I can think of that'll make me pretty well instantly quit talking to a person. I don't even care if they're shitty romance novels, just something.
yurieu ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:16:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does reddit count?
The worst part is im being serious. I just do not enjoy reading, I always feel like I could be doing something else. I just lose attention.
I dont say it with pride, but I never imagined Id get judged for not being into books.
Opset ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:48:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started reading as a pre-bed thing in high school. Now, I always read for 30 minutes to an hour before I go to bed. Helps me fall asleep a lot easier. I just lay down, open a book and rest it on the bed beside me or load one up on my tablet.
I very rarely will read during the day, though.
SquirtleSpaceProgram ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:37:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone judges you for not enjoying reading, that is not a person you want to be friends with anyway.
ben7005 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The difference is bragging about not liking to read. People are free to read as few books as they like, but looking down on reading is stupid, and I will judge people for that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i look down on people who brag about reading books, and i believe compulsive reading is rather sick.
vonsmor ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:41:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you. I can read reddit in my bed for 3 hours a night and wonder where the time went, but havn't touched a book in ten years.
There is this deep hatred for reading books I don't understand, but can only guess it was drilled into my head during school which I hated too.
I have tried to explain why I like the idea of reading books, but just can't ever bring myself to get through more than a chapter with no luck. it's like the second I start reading a book I just feel awful, nauseous almost, can't get through a single page without mind mind running off in other directions to escape. Then 3-4 pages in I realize I'm not even retaining anything or paying attention. It is just this endless, dragged out process to get to the point with books it seems like. Meanwhile I can read long as chains of Wikipedia articles just clicking mid topic to whatever has a blue link in it forever it seems like, but books.... Ugh...
TLDR: totally agree, not proud, but wow I hate reading books
TheKinkMaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about other people here, but if you simply aren't into books then I can respect that. There are things I am simply not into that people can't seem to wrap their minds around. As long as you aren't proudly proclaiming that you don't read (See also: the people who act like it's stupid to read) then I don't see a problem :)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:43:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People still don't take the internet seriously as a source of knowledge. Reddit is more of a social thing, but while I rarely read novels I will read about a new topic online for hours.
RandomMexicanDude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And what about stories? Let's say you read a lot of /r/nosleep stories which are considerably long.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a fan of /r/nosleep, but I do like /r/WritingPrompts.
While I do like those, I personally can't read story after story for a long period of time. For those who do, that's great! - most people still see it as amateurish though (which it is by definition), which hurts its image to the "serious" readers.
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe read books about things that you are interested in?
Knucklesammiches ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 01:04:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend informed me that she hadn't read a single book after college because it wasn't required. A new rule to date me was enacted. In order to attend the movies with me she had to have first read the book of whichever film we were to watch. I now can't stop her from reading everything, just in case it becomes a movie in the future. Maybe that's why we're getting married in a few months ;)
what__ever ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:14:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Props to you, bro. And congrats on the engagement.
Knucklesammiches ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!!
HiddenKING ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope this comment becomes a movie in the future.
Knucklesammiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd definitely be rom com. Not that I'm a fan of them or anything but I'd still show up to the premier.
gerusz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can imagine it being on Lifetime: bastard boyfriend literally imprisons woman in a home library, only allowing her to visit the book club or to go to movies which are adaptations of books she has already read. In the book club she meets a nice guy, then she escapes using the lockpicking skills she picked up from a book and runs away with him. THE END
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Enjoy my hobby or I won't let you enjoy yours!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Knucklesammiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's one of my idols! Sad when he passed in Roseville, CA (I'm from Sacramento). I was already in Florida :( Stand and Deliver was one of my fave films. -I'm hoping my penis was very influential in her case. Thanks for the compliment?
RecyclingBin23 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:49:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I don't really read much at all. Is this in any way different from preaching about not being a reader? I don't have anything against picking up a book, but its not a hobby of mine.
iamaneviltaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:43 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, to me that's the difference. "I don't really read much, books don't do it for me for the most part" is a bit different than "reading is dumb". I respect the first part, hell we all have hobbies. The second, less.
RecyclingBin23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:42 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool, good to know.
TheKinkMaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I hate when people get all up in arms about someone reading shitty romance novels. At least they are reading at all.
iamaneviltaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:17 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My fiancee loves fifty shades and twilight. You know what? Fuck it, we can curl up and read a book together. I'm sure she'd think house of leaves is fucked up and stupid too, it just makes the discussion about what we're both reading even more funny. "He just played midnight baseball with a bunch of vampires." "Oh, shit. That's interesting. Well this dude's house is a quarter of an inch bigger on the inside than it is on the outside, and a closet just appeared out of nowhere like the tardis." "Wut?"
The_Batmen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:23:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does it depend if the person says "I don't like reading fiction, but appreciate the work" instead of "fuck you, books are shit, lol"?
As someone who is as much into movies as you seem to be into movies it's a difference if people say "movies are just dumb, read books, they are always better" or "I like reading more than movies".
iamaneviltaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:35 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, god, no fuck those people too.
I guess it boils down to discounting an art form entirely just to act cool. I don't even really watch tv, but people who say "I've never watched TV" just come off douchey. Like, not once have you been in a waiting room? Why is this a thing to be proud of? But yeah, books do it to me more because I love to read. Definite bias there.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find literature boring most of the time though. Also I don't just magically become a better/more interesting person just because I read books.
iamaneviltaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:25 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, but being proud of not reading is a guarantee that you're not a more interesting person. Most of the proud not-readers I've ever met are the sort to rock a Taz tattoo and talk about their truck all the time. Nickelback fans. It's one of those automatic triggers that lets me know a person probably won't have much to say that I'll be into. If you don't read? That's whatever, but it does put me on alert. Proud of that fact? Guaranteed we'll probably bore each other rather quickly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:57 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think there's many people that are actually proud that they don't read, you're probably just misreading (heh) people who are finding humor in what most of society would consider a shortcoming for them, just like you do.
Also I'd love for you to start a study that tries to link lack of reading with nickle back fans, large trucks, and taz tattoos.
ai1267 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. Literally.
UltraRat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate when people say this upfront when I'm watching a usability test. Those are the participants that are self-aware that no one really reads instructions on a website or playing a game.
When people aren't aware of the fact that no one reads anything you end up with products where the only explanation is in walls of text.
SquamousSeamus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:49:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
โIf you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!โ โ John Waters
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:03:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I have come across these people, it's really not a surprise when they say this because they have already shown they are knuckle-draggers in the first place.
HitlerBinLadenToby ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:02:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man I was cringing at everything down this page but THIS is the statement that does it for me. That is something you should be ashamed of, actually, not broadcasting it loud and proud.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I need to be ashamed of not reading even though I just genuinely don't enjoy books. I don't know what you do for fun but I don't like it therefore you should be ashamed!
HitlerBinLadenToby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dang, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for it to come off that way... my sincerest apologies. I definitely understand reading isn't for everyone, as I just picked the hobby up within the past couple years; my comment was a response to the original comment about when people say they don't read like it's an achievement or something. I've had many people scoff and snobbily say "umm no I don't read" to me like I'm some sort of loser stuck in the 20th century when I ask them if they've heard of or read a certain book I was thinking of picking up. I should definitely work out more but I hate it so I don't, but when people ask me about running or something I don't laugh at them and tell them I've got better things to do with my time. Working out is good for you and arguably so is reading, so you shouldn't feel pride in declaring to people that you don't do it while basically putting them down for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha no worries :) I thought you meant that I should be ashamed of not reading.
HowBoutDemMons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's literally the opposite you twat!
YesHunty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like John Waters said, "If you go with someone and they don't have any books, DO NOT fuck them".
thedesignproject ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THIS. THANK YOU.
Melachiah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Story time!
Okay so my fiance and I were in line for one of the rides in the Wizarding World section of Universal Studios. There's a family behind us, big meathead dude looking extra greasy (even for Florida weather), a tired looking woman who looked like she'd be pretty if she managed to get some sleep, and their two kids.
Now to be clear, I can't stand children. But these two weren't terrible little shits, and we're in line so best to be polite, right? My fiance was talking about Harry Potter with them while we waited.
At some point in the conversation the meathead Dad says "I just watched the movies, I don't like reading" in that super proud to be ignorant tone.
My fiance and I look at each other with this "Did that really just get said"? The kids parroted back "Yeah the movies were better!" and the mom hung her head with the saddest look ever. And then I died a little inside.
Knucklesammiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I currently live in Florida! Now you know what I feel like every day!
Melachiah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here... I feel your pain every time I venture outside.
Bowlslaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't read" and "What am i ever gonna use math for" are sure signs of an idiot
superdrunk1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh yeah. that shit's slap worthy
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or if they say "yeah, I read Facebook and Twitter".
Knucklesammiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even worse!
iamPause ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to choke them. Every. Fucking. Time.
sunshineyhaze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck those people.
Knucklesammiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ended up fucking one of those people, a lot. Got her into reading, now I'm marrying her. Did I do it right?
sunshineyhaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See now that I can't be mad at
MrFalconGarcia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's slightly worse than acting like a better person because novels are your preferred method of consuming storytelling.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:20:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Knucklesammiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are completely right, but reading doesn't have to be in book format like you stated. You're a reader in my book (pun intended). It's just the people unlike yourself that think I'm the asshole for reading, period.
tis-a-throwaway ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember being in Psychology class and overhearing another kid say "last year's final essay was so dumb, we had to read a book!"
I wanted to just walk out at that point.
Knucklesammiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no! A whole book?! Yeah I know what you mean.
Finsternis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant: https://youtu.be/GlKL_EpnSp8
Knucklesammiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed and now I'm going to save this link.
Captain_Aizen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually let's all the negatives to that. "I'm a lazy bastard", "I'm a fat slob", "I'm such a dunce" and people laugh like it's an achievement. No it really isn't.
Knucklesammiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly
TheWorstFizz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I read" like it's a grand achievement.
ninjacereal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me its "You don't read" like I'm a grand failure.
Knucklesammiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, just be honest. "Hey I don't have time, or the right genre hasn't grabbed my attention yet". No worries.
gringreazy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Additionally people who describe finishing school or college with "I did that bullshit" makes it sound to me like they barely tried and probably learned nothing more than likely.
Fred-Bruno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I can kind of understand the folks who do not read and are not stupid. Reading doesn't have to be everyone's passtime, and there are far more engaging mediums out there. I have a small library myself, but I honestly haven't read a book that wasn't a manual in... A really long time. I just prefer something more engaging like a movie or a good game. I have a hard justifying sitting down JUST to read.
Knucklesammiches ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Different strokes for different folks. I understand as well. It's just the people that look at me like I'm wasting my life or the individuals who try play it off as if I'm the not so cool stereotypical middle school bookworm.
adieu12052 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I hear this....my heart breaks off piece by piece. I fear the future.
Knucklesammiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully they can't figure out how to vote either.
Iamtheboomboomking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't read either, in fact, in not even reading this. My read-o-matic is currently reading and responding for me.
Knucklesammiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How much would a read-o-matic hit me in the pocket? With your fancy doodads.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you know? Mark Twain never read a single book! /s
Knucklesammiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something I'd read on FB. Grrrr!
oldchunkofcoal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I could upvote this a thousand times I would.
cyclicalbeats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I found the one on this thread that annoys me the most. Fuck these people.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The man who does not read lives only one life and sees through only one pair of eyes. The man who reads lives a thousand lives and sees the world through a thousand pair of eyes.
Edit: this is a paraphrase of a quote I read a long time ago, and I don't know the source
lelakat ยท 6309 points ยท Posted at 15:29:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm the type of person who just hates drama, all the time."
Generally this can be taken to mean said person loves to run their mouth and ends up creating a vast amount of the drama they claim to hate so much.
NecroGod ยท 5718 points ยท Posted at 17:36:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate drama."
Translation: "I am become drama, destroyer of worlds."
l2np ยท 1003 points ยท Posted at 21:02:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Q: Why is everyone sooo dramatic?
A: Because you tend to associate with people like yourself.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:23:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nailed it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Birds of a feather flock together" is something you can say. It'll take them a couple minutes to realize what you're saying.
OhMyGawdBecky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This means, that because I think my friends are awesome, I'm awesome?
Awesome!
l2np ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If your friends are truly awesome, then probably.
N7Crazy ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:59:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, the translation is a bit different.
"I hate drama"
Translation: "I hate drama - When I am involved. However, I'll want every detail and feast on popcorn till I drop when it's other people's issues"
jesticide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I think the real meaning here is "I hate when people hold me responsible for acting like a tool."
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:25:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All your rumor are belong to us
rayned0wn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:17:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer turtle and ari tbh
needxp11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:28:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate drama, but damn do I love popcorn.
Raggedy-Man ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:09:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anung Un Drama
throbbingrocket ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:05:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Right Drama Doom!
TheSpiceMustAirflow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:57:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bravo
edit: formatting (twice)
alohapigs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You ninja'd. You're good.
Lafreakshow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Destroyer of friendships that would be.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Destroyer of relationships
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh damn this made me laugh.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The basic white girl will be a tremendous weapon in the next Civ game. And that will be her description.
DatNiggaDaz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't feel like you got enough credit for this brilliant response.
DeusExSepuku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leader of the Andramada Galaxy interstellar military convoy
DerpGrub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ALL YOU DRAMA ARE BELONG TO US.
melodamyte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Destroyer of nice evenings.
Joghobs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen this exact comment and response here months ago. Time to get off Reddit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep
PyramldHEAD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"look at me, I'm the drama now." 0_0
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All your drama are belong to us.
adognameddave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sweetest reddit name ever
niggafrompluto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DJ DRAMA!!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuck, I love drama sometimes. I come home and I'm like MUM LISTEN TO THIS SHIT RIGHT FUCKING HERE and we have a good old schadenfreude sesh for whoever's getting it sideways.
If it comes anywhere near me though, like within 12345372048917284569128km away, I'll nope out of there like anything. Drama is the best until it turns up on your doorstep.
acrediblesauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
CToxin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have become drama, destroyer of friendships"
Jambi95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd give you gold if I spent money on strangers.
SpoopsThePalindrome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was an ancient Hindu text, translated by an American. He was later accused of being a Communist.
NecroJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, so good.
Bonolio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gets popcorn.
el_loco_avs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LEAVE JOHNNY ALONE!
QCMBRman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sister says she hates drama, yet she continuously becomes friends when the most mentally unstable hormonal teenage girls I have ever seen.
MagnusCthulhu ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:49:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, just regular teenage girls, then?
Bahboshka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha oh god I need this on a shirt
iamtheowlman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:25:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And s/he looked and behold, a non-Caucasian transgender otherkin. And its name that sat on it, was Drama.
And (a non-religious-affiliated transcultural afterlife version of) Hell followed with her/she/it/them/moonkin."
[deleted] ยท 5111 points ยท Posted at 17:13:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm a shitty person. I love drama. I don't want to be directly involved, but I do want to watch from the sideline and know 103% of everything that's happening.
edit: good to know that my top comment is this one. I'm glad y'all are as drama loving as me.
darkgreenpants ยท 3030 points ยท Posted at 17:36:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unite.
I don't make my life out of it and honestly, don't go after it... But please, do tell me how Dan got drunk at the party and what he said to his mom.
[deleted] ยท 991 points ยท Posted at 17:38:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes yes exactly what I mean
daisy___cat ยท 860 points ยท Posted at 19:16:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omg some crazy shit unfolded on facebook over the weekend and I was like BABE GET THE POPCORN WE GOT ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 01:22:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend caught his gf of four years cheating on him. He snapped a photo of her and her "lover" and posted it onto facebook, tagging both of them. I'm no drama queen. But, i was like the gossip gal herself. I think that's her name.
POGtastic ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 01:20:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I keep certain people added on Facebook exclusively for the schadenfreude. It's like my own personal soap opera, except with People of Walmart instead of attractive actors.
bigmansam45 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:56:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite person for this seems to have got their shit together. I was highly disappointed when I worked this out.
I could basically set my calendar by here boyfriend cycle.
And repeat
POGtastic ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:21:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is much more unpredictable. She'll be with one guy for a couple months, break up messily, then date another guy for three weeks, break up messily, and on and on and on. All the while going between "I'm so in looove" and "All of the good men are gone, woe is me, I'm so unlucky" more quickly than Forrest Gump bounces a ping-pong ball. She got fired from a strip club because she got too fat and was too unstable even for them, so now she works at a gas station convenience store and earns just enough money to avoid homelessness for another month and party every weekend.
Thankfully, her surviving kids got taken away by CPS after the first one died. I'm sure she'll shit out a few more kids before long.
Yourwtfismyftw ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:51:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That last sentence got way too dark and I had to stop laughing.
bigmansam45 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:30:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can see the fun in that, but I think it would make me sad knowing people like that exist.
WafflesTheDuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did she kill the dead one?
POGtastic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:22:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Either her, her boyfriend at the time, or one of her fellow strippers who sometimes worked as a babysitter; they couldn't prove which one shook the kid to death.
MagistrateDelta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Fuck Almighty
DarkWave77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone like this. She will meet someone and without fail she'll be 'so in love with them' man or woman I hasten to add and if she goes out with them it usually breaks down in a couple of months. IIRC she was engaged after being with a guy for two months, posted it on facebook, the works...it all disappeared about two days later.
Yourwtfismyftw ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:50:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also /r/relationships
nihilists_lebowski ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 01:20:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Reddit drama (Pao's various debacles, Quinnspiracy, etc.) has honestly been the highlight of the past year for me. I know that sounds pathetic, but there's nothing I love more than some online drama, and I've never laughed harder than during the Pao thing. Hollywood will never produce better entertainment than clever Redditors and 4chan anons with rustled jimmies.
lecatprincess ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:38:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should check out the drama about the Sephora promotion that just ran. So much popcorn.
Barnowl79 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:41:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't find a single mention online... What is it?
movingtochch ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:26:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming they're referring to this - http://consumerist.com/2015/08/11/loyal-sephora-customers-unhappy-with-companys-apology-for-unrewarding-rewards-promo/
Jackski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:45:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It truly has been the summer of drama. So much popcorn has been popped these last couple of months.
Enantiomorphism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a bountiful dramadan.
KreddyFreuger ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 00:16:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go on
lady_gremlin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:58:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What???? Don't leave us hanging!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Husband goals, seriously. I'd have the living room recliners pulled up to the computer and popcorn made in two seconds flat. Someone understands me.
foxual ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:13:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My stories!
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:21:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Muh_Condishuns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:31:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you print our hard copies and pin them to a dusty cork-board in a dimly lit basement with giant moths flying around?
foxual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people watch soap operas, I watch a small portion of my friends and family implode.
BAMspek ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 21:34:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I pretend to be an unbiased ear to vent to... Really I just want gossip.
bigmansam45 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:52:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God yes.
Well I am, generally, unbiased. Purely due to my lack of involvement and, therefore, lack of caring about the final outcome. I just want to know what happened.
Killvo ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:06:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup good listeners know the juiciest secrets.
RideTheWindForever ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:57:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that people want to then INVOLVE you in the drama. "Tracy is acting like a slut, we all think so, you should help us with the intervention we're going to have with her."
CreepTheNet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:25:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yessssssssssssssssss
TBoguS301 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:13:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I would like someone to fuck up a little bit. Not a felony or anything, but maybe like a couple's argument in a very public space that's not Ikea."
TinglyNaughtyBits ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:27:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Momentarily dyslexic there. Read that as untie, and was hella confused.
moonattuned ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:09:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That just makes you a gossip, not a dramabomb :)
OnlyGrayCellLeft ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:43:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But are you a gossip even if you don't share what you know with anyone?
candacebernhard ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:49:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bwahaha. It's totally a fine line between staying social & being a gossip! ;)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:12:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a reference to Dorm Life or am I just desperate?
qft ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:45:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah. I hate drama affecting my life but love to observe with popcorn from the sidelines.
hitlerosexual ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:57:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's actually a reason for it. Gossip is part of living in a society. It helps people know what their standing is, and know where everyone else is in the hierarchy.
iamtheDonkster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as a dan, this is not far off...
CupcakesOnMyFace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can already smell the popcorn!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That right there is the definition of causing drama...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yep. I don't seek it out most of the time, but I love a good bit of gossip.
karnoculars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You guys are mistaking drama with gossip. They are not the same thing.
Jscarz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why facebook is a blessing. I don't need to involve myself but some people just post their life on that website and I remain friends with them because it's so entertaining to keep up with their drama.
Oh your baby daddy is getting out of jail in a few months? Let's keep up with that. Maybe this time he will be a better person, who knows.
Oh, miss always-has-a-new-bf has a new bf and says this is the one? Betting is now open. 5 dollar entry, prize goes to whoever is the closest to the break up date.
I'm a terrible person for it, but fuck it nobody other than me is involved so it doesn't matter.
aheadwarp9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would call that gossip...
FartherAwayx3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like being in the middle of it, but looove hearing about it after the fact
steamcube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no no nonononono fuck you people
I DESPISE people who are so boring that they have to gossip about others constantly
The_Tic-Tac_Kid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh indeed.
Ifreakinglovetrucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The work break room stories are way too juicy for me to plug my ears. I wanna know all about how that bitch who works in hardware.
Argonexx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Us.
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gossip isn't evil if you only listen and don't contribute!
janellems ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know this one girl that just ....drama sticks to her like ants on a dorito, every couple weeks she has some new ailment, some new bruises from side effects of the ailments drug treatments making her pass out in the shower, something went haywire with her marriage (she cheated with her husband's bosses as well as some other randoms) so then he throws her out and a few months later she's married to this new dork, add on more health problems......omg this girl. She is so fun to watch.
BipedSnowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I'm on reddit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He Did it by drinking alcohol.
Konker101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thats just story telling.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:35:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, fuck, now I want to know.
cardinal29 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:37:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
C'mon over to /r/relationships! We got fresh drama everyday, 24 hours a day! Drama! Get your drama here! Fresh drama!
NoahtheRed ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:05:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love reading threads there. I look for ones where OP is heavily downvoted and pop open a beer and just have at it.
Mnemonics19 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:43:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend has expressed his distaste that I read the threads. I'm just going to stop describing them to him now and enjoy the amazing drama.
moose_tassels ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:44:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially at weddings. Aunt Sarah got shitfaced and puked in the chocolate fountain? Someone's dress caught on fire while they were having a quickie in the bathroom? MIL called the bride a crusty horsefucking whore? I am all over that.
tesla1889 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
were you watching me play the sims???
teazelbranchlet ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:20:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. 100%. There are people still on my facebook solely because I love watching all the crap unfold.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:44:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am in several group message threads where the only thing we ever talk about is what so and so posted on [Social Media Site/App] and who got knocked up. Fuck reality TV; I have Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:21:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For real. Probably my favorite part of working minimum wage jobs is all the office drama that unfolds about shit that doesn't matter
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:26:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do too, I will happily sit on the sidelines watching some immature people argue in person, I would pop popcorn if I could.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:01:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, I'm nosy as hell. I hate confrontation and do my best to avoid it for myself, but I need to know all the drama and gossip happening at all times. Luckily I can keep a secret so people trust me. I just want to know for knowing's sake, not so I can spread gossip around!
lucy_inthessky ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:58:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YAAAAS. Tell me juicy details, but I do not want to have anything to do with any of the drama.
GallopingGorilla ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:15:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yess I'm exactly this way. I also don't spread drama because that is the best way to still get all the input. If you're not spreading it, you become the person everyone talks to about shit like this, and you just sit back and eat your popcorn.
Sindja ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:42:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hah! Yeah, I love other people's drama. It's fun to watch from the sidelines, better than TV even. But no, I don't want to be involved.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:51:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Drama is fucking hilarious when I'm not involved in it.
BioluminescentCrotch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:40:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just made me realize that this is how I am as well. I cut drama out of my life pretty quickly, but I'll try my hardest to keep tabs on it.
Like how I keep my ex-roommate on my Facebook because her life is one giant "why the fuck would you do that?!" after another, but she was kicked out after only 3 months because I refused to put up with her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a roommate like this! And I keep her on Facebook for the same reason. Muahaha
delta-TL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should check out /r/SubredditDrama!
a_throwaway_b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All this time I thought I was alone.
hermanhansel920 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too!!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I join the Drama Sidelines club?
Hellooooooo_NURSE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love drama that isn't my drama.
NoahtheRed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have a high five for trainwrecks and meltdowns! I. Love. Drama. I don't generally have much in my life, but when I do, it's like reading a book or watching a movie. I just can't wait to see what's next in the drama.
ragingnerd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drama is a spectator sport. Never to be engaged in, only enjoyed from the sidelines, with occasional witty comments.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That works because I am only occasionally witty
SamsungGalaxyGreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone does, regardless of the character, it's simply human nature.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my excuse when I watch Coronation Street.
Shuko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. :) Did you know there are quite a few funny drama subreddits devoted to just this?
inc0nceivable ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/subredditdrama can be funny at times.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So much of this. Truly.
Willie9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh yes. I love me some juicy drama...just so long as I am not a part of it.
totomaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One good thing about being a teacher is there's gossip EVERYWHERE. There's pretty much no drama in my department, everyone's cool, but I have friends in other departments and love hearing about all the drama. Seriously, they go looking for it. It's a perfect setup.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm excited. I'm training to be a dance teacher, hopefully a high school dance team director. GIVE ME ALL YOUR GOSSIP. IT IS MY PHOENIX DOWN.
Bigpinkbackboob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will never spread gossip. Ever. But dear lord do I love to hear it...
starjedi357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and provoke it whenever I can
Amberleaf29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yesss it's so amazing! But it is unpleasant to be directly involved.
ProbablyPuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES!
Ragnrok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you, man. These fucked up people are my soap opera
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I love hearing who is sleeping with who, or who is getting in trouble for what around my work. I hate when anybody comes up to me crying or complaining about anything.
ankensam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I browse /r/relationships
LesFirewall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. I'm not a social person but I'm very observant so I know about all kinds of drama.
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You get me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just started at a new job last week, and this is exactly within only a few days I knew everything I needed to know
Built-In ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started reading reddit for /r/relationships
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, I think it's different. Sure, I like to go to the mall and people watch, but what I'm talking about is just being totally up to date on everything everyone does. Give me all your gossip. It's my phoenix down.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Once in a while direct involvement is perfect, because if you're in the middle you can direct it whichever way you want, which can get... interesting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dear, I had my fill of that in high school. I had to stop myself from doing that because I let myself get mean about it. It is fun though.
leadstoanother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me? When I say "I hate drama" what I mean is that I hate being involved in drama. But when someone else has drama, I'm like....all of the things. I must know them.
Genetical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love drama of other people's making. I won't interfere or gossip or mess things up for someone but yes, I would be lying if I didn't enjoy watching Emily's new boyfriend get totally shit faced, vomit in Ryan's pool and then have Emily scream at him for touching Rachel's boob.
Tharlo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes this so much, i dont run my mouth, but like you i know everything thats going on in my office. my boss hates it because i know often before she does. and when we have one on ones she always tries to tget the goss, but ill never tell haha
VTCifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yessssss....
People at work are always telling me I'm nosey when I ask what's going on. My usual response is "Bitch, you think I don't know that? Now tell me what's going on!" Then they dish.
Pickles256 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That edit is horrible though
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eat me, nerd.
TheFulcrum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please come over to r/subredditdrama. It really scratches that drama itch.
MidWestJoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should watch Bad Girls Club. It's basically just a bunch of girls causing drama together. I LOVE IT! And you can make comments while it's all happening because they can't fucking hear you.
UvVodkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same- and that is why I subscribe to r/relationships
skootch_ginalola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you want all of us to share some drama? Like spare gossip bits?
greasy_pee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/relationships
sir_joober ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh crap. This is me.
jollyfreek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES!!! I LOVE other people's drama. My best friend's step-daughter is a huge pain in the ass, and does shit just to annoy him and his family. His wife always takes her side, so it makes him the bad guy, and he's super salty about everything now.
ScootaliciousScooter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES PLEASE.
KelMage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally hang out with people who don't have their shit together so I can revel in their drama and then go back to my husband, cats, and fish and bask in the joy of a mostly drama free life.
I hate being part of drama, or having it directed at me, but GOD I love to experience it vicariously.
It also reminds me how awesome my life is as a married man rather than a single guy. Married life is sooooooooo much better.
howisaraven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes yes yes.
Noswald ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no one really likes to be involved besides those people, but who doesn't watch from the sideline!
DirtMcGirt2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just neutral about drama. I'm usually the last person to know stuff because I'm usually in my own little world, but if I hear about some juicy story I'm not going to act like I don't want to know the nitty gritty details.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, so you're gossips.
Muh_Condishuns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Narcissistic sociopathy is quite common, you hadn't heard?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to dismiss people who say they're sociopaths at this point in my life. Being 21, a lot of people think it's ~so cool~ to claim sociopathy.
nusyahus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you'll love /r/subredditdrama
notHooptieJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you and me, ::fingers-eyes:: right here buddy.
PamPooveyIsTheTits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep! I looooove drama. Love it. As long as it doesn't directly involve me, I'll listen to your drama all damn day.
jyetie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just love knowing people are more messed up than me.
Who did my cousin try to kill this time? Great aunt? At her sister's wedding? Were you there? Omg tell me everything!
You stalked my dad's ex's Facebook page? She's being a preachy vegan bitch again? Verbally attacked a woman wearing faux fur and posted about it as if great justice has been served? Send me screencaps. (She's 45, single, childless, few friends, used to be an alcoholic, and posted a list of reasons she "not the problem" in her life.) I loooove to hate that bitch.
Some people I greatly dislike are doing wonderfully. There's no cosmic justice there, but I get my fill from all the other shitty people
Sometimes there's people I like, or don't know very well, and I love hearing about them too. My maternal grandma's brother, never met him, he has 3 sons, all very successful. One game designer, one musician (with a beautiful wife and gorgeous baby), and a lawyer. I've never met them, but I like hearing about all the nice things going on in their lives, too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sucks2suck
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OH NY FUCK, YES! I just have this constant desire to know everything about everything that happens if it involves people being mad at each other.
russellvt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See: other ;-)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh am I supposed to care that my edit makes other people upset? I'm just happy that the one about chlamydia finally got passed up for #1
russellvt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, so I took the bait and "had" to look... and technically, it was/is most more like your (now) #3 comment... but, yeah. ;-)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure why you keep winking at me, our relationship is platonic
Ultimate_Chimera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's my favorite thing to do. It's hilarious.
TooManyMeds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
EXACTLY!
I hate conflict, someone being upset with me deeply upsets me. But I'll be darned if I don't love to lurk at a good facebook argument/bitchfest
Especially good being fb friends with my catholic, anti-gay marriage cousins.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You would make a good Big Brother fan.
bigmansam45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have found the key to this.
Drama dying down? Subtly give information to a 3rd party who you know will pass the information onto one of the involved parties. Bingo, reignition and still once removed from the drama.
therapistiscrazy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Likewise. It's like real time soaps. And being married to a military man, there's no shortage of it.
smackfairy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a reason /r/SubredditDrama is popular!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure this is just human nature.
Jaujarahje ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup same. I work in a kitchen and would hear so much drama going on. I would just always tell everybody "I am never going to use this knowledge in my life, but I like knowing things and everyones drama is entertaining to me, but leave me out of it."
Other peoples drama is just so much fun
Doctor_Spacemann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im a pretty quiet person, but god I love drama. Ill listen in to peoples conversations to get a little fix sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep me too. I love hearing all the gossip and watching the drama, but definitely stay out of it. Shout-out to /r/relationships !
Omnipotent_Entity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some men just want to watch the world burn. Others want to burn it down themselves. (with the lemons that life gave them)
scrapitcleveland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I go to the bar every night not because I have problems, but to watch everyone else's.
kaeroku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't so much sit on the sidelines as kinda spy for both teams and ensure the pot stays boiling.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh that's probably a better way to put it, but I force myself to not stir it up because I'll get really carried away
Master_Debater123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am the same. I don't create drama and i don't get involved; I just spectate gleefully once i find out what's going on.
8979323 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Walk softly, but carry a big stick. And use it to stir drama at every opportunity.
AwkwardnessIsAwesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my gosh you're me!
Duderds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow way to create drama...
UndeadBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly why I'm subscribed to our local Facebook group. I love the drama as long as it doesn't involve me. And since most people on there don't actually know who I am, I get to enjoy stoking the fire every now and then.
Manic_42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was that way until I started working somewhere with only 8 employees. Now it's just like "No, I don't give a shit what completely fucking irrelevant thing Stacy did an neither should you. Go do your damn job." When it's the exact same bullshit with the exact same people over and over again it just gets old.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Friend, my specific branch of work has only 8 or 9 employees as well. I love the gossip because I know everyone involved.
Also, because we collectively hate one specific employee lol
coldfire17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/subredditdrama is amazing for drama watching. Wanna see two people verbally throw the fuck down over woodworking? Is OP a piece of shit for calling BBQ sauce on pork BBQ pork in /r/foodporn? Find out today on subredditdrama!
zazie2099 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Traffic jams happen when there's a wreck on the shoulder because 90% of people are looky-loos at heart.
TheEmasculator2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Linguistics major here. Read a stat once that 3/4 of the conversations people have are about another person who is not present--pretty basic definition of "gossip" if you ask me.
If we didn't talk about other people... we would have nothing to talk about.
amanda_pandemonium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES. And people always tell me work gossip because I don't spread it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man that's me whenever something happens at work in there hands folded under chin saying tell me more
mrs_pinkman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeahhh fat jewish just said this same thing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm thin Jewish, does that count?
wHUT_fun ยท 257 points ยท Posted at 16:52:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The ones that "don't do drama" are the ones that cause the most fucking drama.
BevansDesign ยท 456 points ยท Posted at 17:45:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate drama" means "I don't like when people talk back".
randomlygen ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:06:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my. That is perfect!
KingBooScaresYou ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:55:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who says 'i hate drama', I just realised this is exactly what I mean every time.
I'll have to adjust my phrasing next time, or simply give my opinion, then walk away.
plattemagick ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 22:01:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or you could only dish out what you can take.
KingBooScaresYou ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 22:06:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is I can dish out shit but take it as well. The thing I find is so many people can't take any form of criticism or honesty, and then get defensive. Like I do hate drama, I hate it when people end up hiding how they feel and bitching about it to others, thats what causes drama. I just tend to call people out on their crap when I see it, then if they get offended atleast I'm honest about it.
Id rather be honest and tell the person how I feel than let it ramble on for months bitching to others. Thats the drama D:
projectjerichox ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:35:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just keep your mouth shut for 98% of what ever the fuck is said or going on around you. If it doesn't directly affect you, there is next to no reason to even bother saying something. I used to be the same way, I would always call people on their bullshit because fuck them it's bullshit. But that changed because I do dislike drama. I rarely associate with the majority of the people I used to because they all just cause problems and talk shit about everyone. If I don't like the person I make it very clear when they try to talk to me.
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:52:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are some people who seem to think its theirmright to 'call everyone on their bullshit'. If it doesnt affect you, walk away (like you said). Its condescending to be policing everyones behavior, and likely to be called 'starting drama'.
anjufordinner ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:58:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, no. The worst ones are the ones who dish it out, can't take people disagreeing, and then using "honesty" as a defense. I feel like some of the best coaches, directors, and judges in the world don't make others defensive in the first place. They do that by having a good enough rapport with the person they're talking to that they are giving criticism, but served up on a platter of caring and good intentions. They give you criticism because they are working with you for a bigger final product. If friends give you criticism, it's for the bigger cause of friendship.
If someone isn't using their best judgment to preserve that friendship or to protect that friend (using more tools than just criticism), then it's probably because they aren't a good friend. That would make people defensive.
Take me as an example- I'm pretty average. I'll take really harsh stuff from a friend whose point of view I trust, or someone who I feel is having a hard time but feels like it needs to be said. I respect that and will consider their opinion understanding that they care for me and respect me, too. Even if I can't change my ways and we get distant, I respect that they cared enough to come to me directly and say something.
I am more likely to get defensive when someone does it flippantly (or to like five other people before me so I know it's coming), or if I don't think their point of view is trustworthy or that they are doing it with good intentions (some people are "honest" to tear another person down, or to make themselves look more knowledgeable, or to assert authority. Fuck those people). Some people give off a vibe like they enjoy lighting the fuse and walking away, and if you don't make criticism a dialogue, you're risking coming off like a dramapot.
Hypothetical questions: If you don't make it a dialogue, why should they respect you or your opinion? Why are you even opening your mouth if it isn't to benefit anyone but your poor social impulse control?
People who are into brutal honesty tend to be more about the brutality than the honesty. That bullying attitude is a fine tactic in, say, high school or anywhere on Long Island, but adults who know what they want tend to know how to use their words like big boys and girls and communicate carefully for the best social cohesion (and the greatest chance their words are heeded).
CreepTheNet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hah. YES!
Facebanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This exactly is what it is. People who "don't do drama" are also the people that "calls'em like they sees'em" and when speaking like that turns to confrontation then continuing to speak on a subject that wasn't there business to begin with leads to the feeling of "OMG, stop the drama".
thecosmicgoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. Sooooo much this.
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
There are people who legitimately dont like it. I dont want to be a part of it, nor do I want to watch as some trashy people fight over some girl/guy. I just dont care about peoples stupid problems, and dont want to see it. I gotmrid of facebook because I didnt care to see peoples crap play out over social media. I also dont care to know if suzy is quitting and mark is hoping to take her job and how juicy that ismsupposed tombe for some reason.
I dont want to know.
Yunalesca245 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:58:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See? I'm going to have to disagree with there. I actually think drama is a waste of time and energy, but I love being on the sidelines of that shit which is a complete contradiction in itself.
gravshift ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:59:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really.
You don't like wasting your time and energy. Others can waste their time and energy, no skin off your back.
Pull up a chair and watch the self destruction.
mrlowe98 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:42:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those that actually don't do drama generally don't have anything that could cause drama in their lives so they never think about it in general.
Cool_John ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:09:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd
GobblesGoblins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not all.
Enviunity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just had to learn this one the hard way... Had to stop talking to a guy who would go out of his way to rile up some people and start some drama.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what my family told me when I announced a personal "zero drama" policy in family relations. Any drama that occurred after that turned into an immediate block on my Facebook. My life has been blessedly peaceful since then. It's amazing.
Warhawk137 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you don't want to hang with the people who "hate drama", you want to hang with the people who are just kinda generally ambivalent about it.
DaSaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Knew a guy who said this. Didn't know what I was getting into. Saw more drama than I'd ever seen in my life.
Muh_Condishuns ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:28:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check out all the cunts right above you. /\ 2000 upvotes for drama.
nishbot ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Completely true.
Bnal ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 17:40:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Great point. I had a conversation with a guy who said he hated drama, but would stop the conversation every time someone walked by so he could challenge them to a fight.
His girlfriend said the greatest quote I've ever heard. "When you're pregnant, you can start as many bar fights as you want and the bouncers never think it's your fault."
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:49:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bnal ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:52:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was even more charming when he ended the conversation by saying to his pregnant girlfriend "what do you say we go send your baby daddy a picture of my dick in your mouth?"
feex3 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:49:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whaaaat
thecheezepleeze ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:01:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a substitute teacher. While subbing a class one day I heard a 16 year old girl say "I hate drama. Like, I hate it. I never get involved. But this is LITERALLY the WORST thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life." Talking about some boy in the school.
Crixomix ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 22:31:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely disagree. I hate drama, am almost never part of it. Sometimes I say that I hate drama, this doesn't magically make me involved.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:55:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know the feel. I think OP means when someone just brings it up though. So like, if I'm involuntarily I'm the middle of drama I might complain about hating drama and not being able to handle it and just wanting out, but I won't just be all the time like "Pssh, man I hate that drama."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ditto. Strangely, it's always girls who hate drama, who actually love it.
KerroRo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:01:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really, I've found that people who use the word "drama" to mean interpersonal conflicts tend to experience lots of it, whether they say they like it or not.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like drama because of the gossip. Guilty pleasure. I don't like to be a part of it because it's not as fun when you're part of it.
MjrJWPowell ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:47:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was at an Irish club and a friend, who lived on drama, was talking about the last drama he created and mentioned the other party was kind of threatening them. I told him to contact the police. The drama guy had the other one banned, which wasn't a bad thing since he was a nasty drunk.
Two weeks later, other people are giving me the cold shoulder, and I was confronted by people who were friends with the guy kicked out. I told them I did say to go to the cops but only to get the drama guy to STFU. Then we were friends again.
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:40:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People who have to make it so known that they hate drama, are usually wrapped up in drama. People who truly hate drama won't announce it and will just casually walk away from it and not put up with it. If you have to go around letting everyone know that you're "drama free", there is a good chance you are, in fact, full of drama.
stareyedgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it depends on the type of drama. I have learned that family drama is difficult to walk away from. My parents and I successfully cut out the drama portion of the family for more than two blissfully drama-free decades, but we got dragged back in recently.
Thank god the majority of them are baby boomers with no kids. The one that does have kids spawned reasonable, nice people that I get along with. All that shit is going to die with them, and my cousins and I will carry on like reasonable normal adult humans.
That's the plan anyway.
InDirectX4000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:24 on August 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Familiarity breeds contempt."
(Sorry I'm 5 days late.)
mollypop94 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:17:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says they 'hate drama' fucking love drama.
Especially me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't hate drama, I just enjoy seeing it while staying out of it. It's like my own person reality TV show, and if anybody starts making up rumors about me, i just shrug it off and they go away in a day or two. It's guaranteed to work.
Reginault ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably the least confrontational person among my friends. I really drama. Why can't people just ignore what they don't like? Seems counter productive spending so much time getting angry when you can just.. not. Lets just eat pizza, laugh at dumb movies and play games.
I don't care what you think about Shelly. I'm not going to interpret "that look" that Dan gave you. No, I don't care that Bob is late. Z is cheating on X with Y? That's going to be rough for them, but it doesn't affect me at all.
Torvaun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love drama, in small doses. I don't go out of my way to stir up shit, but I will always be the guy who wants to hear you rant about the dumbfuck at the office who has no skills beyond springing from the right persons crotch 25 years ago.
DerpyDruid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who have problems are problems.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love this, because like you said, they always are the first to cause drama. They can still not like it, though. Don't mean they didn't create it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aka I am an asshole and loves to do stuff that pisses everyone off, but hate the part when people get pissed at me.
Rockyrox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one says they like to cause drama, so to me if you say such a irrelevant thing it must mean you have a lot of drama around you...which means you probably have something to do with it usually.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. You nailed it. This is an absolute truth.
Zacoftheaxes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is always code for "I will start a bunch of shit, try and ruin people's lives, and then walk away when the consequences show up because I don't want to deal with them."
QuantumPolagnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about you, but I can't stand drama - I like to avoid confrontations, I don't want to hear who's cheating on whom (it's none of my business, anyway), I'd rather get to where I'm going than gawk at a wreck on the side of the road, etc. etc.
But hey, everyone's different, so if you like that kind of thing, then more power to you. Just try not to make sweeping generalizations next time.
themusicguru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
.....me too. I tell people I hate drama so they don't come to me with their gossip. I've always been quiet and because of that a good listener so people love telling me all about the crazy dramatic stuff in their lives but I never know what to say so it makes me anxious
headsup_lucky_penny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If some one hates drama it's usually because it follows them everywhere they go with everyone they encounter. But they fail to realize that if it smells like shot where ever you go, check you shoe.
Joetato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know a girl like that. She says she hates drama but tries to start it all the time. As soon as it starts up, she'll insist she hates it and doesn't know why people always have to start it.
I avoid her when I can.
Bladelink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know how I know that's true? Because I only ever use the word drama wen i'm talking about movies and tv shows.
c4sanmiguel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm the type of person..." never ends well. It's always someone bragging about a universal trait like "I care about my family" or "am loyal to my friends".
xkcd_about_that ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Law of Drama
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So "I hate drama" isn't a valid way to say that I avoid conflict? What is a valid phrase, then?
kaldrazidrim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you are constantly surrounded by drama, YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF THE DRAMA.
paralyzedbyindecisio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that people who actually don't like drama avoid it quite effectively, and so 1) don't have any reason to mention their feelings on drama as it doesn't happen much, and 2) might even say they enjoy drama because in their experience it is happening to someone else and since they avoid it so well they just sit back and enjoy the show.
Queenkongers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hhaha that's my MIL she said to me the other day "you know me, I don't live in drama" translates too, I love to live in drama, and she'll repeat it until we're dead.
IlIIllIllIlllI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think everyone loves drama as long as they aren't involved.
CaspianX2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Drama" = "other people's problems"
Whisper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People don't say "I hate drama" unless they are surrounded by it to grow to hate.
People who are surrounded by drama are usually one of the causes of it.
phillyFart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seems similar to the following sentiment:
If someone tells you they met an asshole,they met an asshole. If someone tells you everyone they meet is an asshole, they're the asshole.
GuTTeRaLSLaM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you smell shit wherever you go, it's probably on YOUR shoes.
yellowvitt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feed off of drama.
stilltoocold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is similar to when girls say that most of their friends are guys because girls are too much drama.
bigh87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree!!!!
midgethemage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The variation I've seen a lot is "God I hate drama so much but it always seems to find me!" They like to always act like it's never them and always someone else.
I however, find other people's drama incredibly amusing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I hate YOUR drama. I fucking love the shit I start.'
Chanel_DU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're always the common denominator arent they
_edmthrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a female friend who claimed she liked her guy friends better because "guys are less drama." She was the sole source of drama in my life for about a year.
atomcrusher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my god, you'll never believe the drama Katie caused..."
MrGaryDos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. Hes probably the best character on the show besides Ari Gold.
catcherblock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry. I do this. I hate when people talk about others behind their back. I'm just straight forward with people and sometimes brutal about it. This makes people angry and then it does create drama.
I just suck at understanding people.
MidWestJoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get why people say they hate drama. I love drama! I mean as long as it's not pulling me into the hellfire, I'll watch the rest of 'em burn. I like to hear gossip too, I try not to gossip myself, but when I do I like to make sure I put in "Bob told me that....". That last bit is probably pretty awful of me. Now I feel bad.
ChrisHutch90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"drama all ways follows me around, but I hate drama"
Aietra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a documentary that explores this concept to new and profound depths...oh, what was it called..."Real Housewives of Atlanta", that's the one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are people like me supposed to freaking say when we're trying to tell our friend that we don't want to know what they said to their roommate's bf or to give our opinions on whether or not your feelings are justified when your sister did whatever and they just want to know our opinion (whose side we're on).
I can't do it man. I just hate drama! Give me a phrase that will make me taken seriously lol.
Shizo211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm very calm in real life some even say that I'm jaded or apathetic and I really want to avoid unnecessary stress and drama at all costs but I can't voice it for exact this reason. The drama queens have ruined it for me.
Edit: Drama itself can be quite entertaining but being involved is what makes it bad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hate drama? Shit, I love drama.
doctorclockwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only people that are constantly surrounded by "drama" tend to have a strong opinion on it. Since they're the only common factor in that equation, it is usually safe to assume that they are the cause of said "drama."
captain_brunch_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have such little drama in my life that when there is some I get a little excited.
xmilar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This rings true to me with a significant other in life. Thanks you so much for just confirming this with me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you meet someone and after a short time they start sentences with "I'm the type of person who..." you know it's the exact opposite.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've said that before(well not that exactly) and genuinely meant it because my job makes me the gateway to it a lot.
imwittier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sister and best friend are both a mess and it can be really stressful but I wont tell you I don't LOVE their stories. The shit they get up to (separately, they dont hang out) is fucking ridiculous.
Tokentaclops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The people who hate drama hate it because it rules their life. I for one, enjoy drama, from the sidelines ofcourse.
KSFT__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
relevant xkcd
Thethrowaway10506 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. 100% of the time
Salzberger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Often paired with "Fuck tha haters."
Bitch, you're suburban a mother of 2. You don't have haters.
TheRipler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's more about when someone says "I hate drama". If they say it when they first meet you, that's a warning sign. I, on the other hand, tend to say it right before I never speak to you again.
TheyreEatingHer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or there are some people who legitimately hate drama...
Master_Tallness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I act like I don't like or want drama, but secretly I adore gossiping about people.
ShareHappyness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't necessarily mean that person is full of drama. I myself will tell people I dislike drama, and that if they create any for me, I will most likely not hang out with them.
EdwardScissorHands11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd shorten it to, "I'm the type of person..."
Unless, of course, we believe there are identical and repeated sets of characteristics based on whether someone "needs" coffee to wake up.
No bitch, if your bed was on fire you be awake without your socially accepted drug of choice.
KitAndKat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You can trust me." Another warning that the opposite is true.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Surprised no one (at least that I can see at first glance) has linked this yet.
Relevant xkcd: Law of Drama
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hit em before the hair does."
"If they bleed they breed."
Usually followed by a creepy chuckle.
OuttaSightVegemite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or this one "I get along better with guys. Girls are so much drama!"
A good indicator that she's the one that causes the drama.
natasharevolution ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I consider myself too lazy for drama. Is that in the same category?
megso16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. 100 times.
sample_material ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who even mentions "drama" unprovoked is mostly like a drama queen.
garlicisawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this goes along with girls who say they don't like hanging out with other girls because they're "too much drama".
zazie2099 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're just trying to neutralize your drama with more drama thrown back t'other way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm high energy, low maintenance and no drama.
swim_kick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even though I'm super late to this thread, you read my mind. This is the first person I avoid bc I don't need bullshit in my life
jenntasticxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love drama. I watch it on TV and /r/relationships all the time.
Thevoidisgood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase "im the type of person..." is byfar the worst. It seems so conceded. I just went on a date with a girl who said this (with different endings) 3 or 4 times. After the first time i knew it wasnt right for me. The big bummer is that she is the sexiest and most beautiful woman ive ever taken out. We planned for another date, but i decided later i want nothing to do with her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like people who doesn't have drama doesn't really have any reason to hate it. It's like sushi for me. I have never had sushi, so I can't really hate it. But I'm also not really willing to try it either.
iongantas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except that presumably people who don't start drama can also hate it.
mechanical_animal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say that and it actually means I'm terribly boring.
primehacman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I like to watch the drama, I just hate being in the middle of it.
MontgomeryRook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am comfortable generalizing on this one - said unprompted, "I hate drama" always means "I love drama but want to pretend it all occurs spontaneously because that's more dramatic."
Captain_Aizen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I must be the exception. I hate drama and guess what, I don't get fucking involved with it.
strawberry36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had a coworker once who would always go on about how much she hated drama. Funny thing...she was the one who started it, but would then accuse others (mainly me) of starting it when they tried defending themselves against her.
billndotnet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually: "I'm the type of person who just hates. Drama, all the time."
thebrose69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok so what if I hate drama, have exactly none in my life, and am an extremely likeable person?
Edit: legitimate question
Freakatheart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hang out with mostly guys, girls are to dramatic"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. You have shown me the face of evil.
cwm2355 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like Reddit
might_be_myself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I swear the word drama should be a word people don't use after they turn 19.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate drama" is like "I'm a nice guy;" both things not normally said by those who exemplify those statements, but then Internet trope has become that if you utter any variation of either, then you exemplify the opposite to the nth degree, thereby ruining it for those who genuinely hate drama or genuinely consider themselves nice guys to identify themselves.
[deleted] ยท 1894 points ยท Posted at 20:49:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 01:42:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Real women have curves."
"Real men treat their women like queens."
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 03:54:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 04:41:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, that's a good ideal."
zangent ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 04:49:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meta!
RelativetoZero ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:09:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meta girl with good ideals.
CrazyGrape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ding Ding Ding!
This is a bit too dramatic for me though.
imonsterFTW ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 04:41:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, I get angry when I read "real men do my opinion" on facebook.
Darkdragoonlord ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 07:08:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This boiled my blood real bad once, for whatever odd reason.
It was something to the effect of "it takes a real man to raise another guys unwanted children.", as posted by a single mother.
I responded "what the fuck? Because I don't want to take responsibility for your fuck ups and raise your crotch dumpling I'm somehow less of a man?"
D-DC ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:58:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
upvote for crotch dumpling
thepeopleshero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck trophies also works
Baschi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:55:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with everything, but just for arguments sake she wasn't saying the ONLY real men raise other men's unwanted children but rather that those men who do definitely belong to that group.
Also, crotch dumplings is hilarious.
Darkdragoonlord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course, but in context, coming from this individual, it's probably exactly what she meant to portray.
profoundWHALE ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:13:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Real men have curves too, so I don't see the point...
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 03:53:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
snarky2113 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:03:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sage
Bigmac7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I noticed alot of fat ass women call themselves thick and all the do is give themselves execuses to be fat.
MrWollyDood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hehe
OldSkcool ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:11:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Real men suck dick, because they're not afraid to do anything.
SeraphArdens ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:41:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's comforting to know all those domestic abusers aren't even real. We live in such a happy world. /s
D-DC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:00:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Real women don't treat men like queens, why give them more respect than we get?
Goddamn_Batman ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 02:39:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Debating cutting down on overhead so I'm looking into maybe sharing an apartment. A few craigslist ads have scared me off, one that sticks out is 'pescatarian, no smoking, no drugs, no alcohol. Must live an authentic lifestyle'
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:05:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a really fun person.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:30:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh I used to live with one of those people. She would make these horrendous green detox smoothies and go on about how free and 'actualised' she felt - whatevrer the fuck that means... Worst thing though was that she would eat my timtams. Bitch you're meant to be a vegan and you're sneaking chocolate biscuits from me like I won't notice!
cky12qxz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:13:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She stole timtams from you? Truly despicable..
cheddar_robert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
#livefolk #liveauthentic
Zemogray ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:21:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"____ this is real music"
"____ is an amazing artist. It's sad how this generation doesn't appreciate real music"
Makes my blood boil. Partly because there's a chance that when I grow up I might be that person complaining about the new type of music.
estafan7 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:30:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The truth is that there is good and bad music from every era. Naturally people only remember the good music that is old and forget about the bad stuff. In the future people say that old music is better when they only know about the good music that people still listen to. Surely there was crap that most people have forgotten about.
RelativetoZero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:15:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of this, I haven't heard lollipop on the radio in ages. Or Soulja boy. See, the junk is already being culled, replaced with different junk that will also be forgotten.
estafan7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:27:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It makes me happy whenever I go back to something I liked many years ago to find out it is actually great and I had good taste. I remember watching Toy Story again and I appreciated the movie much more than I did when I was a kid.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:31:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I am right now, and I'm really young. I don't display it this way, or go out of my way to poke fun or shit all over current music styles that are popular. And I accept that other people like it and that it will be played at public things and by a majority of people. But it is so tough when everywhere you go you hear the same three songs over and over and over for about a year until something new becomes popular... So it goes with all music though.
bonitabro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:15:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haters gonna hate hate hate.
I feel ya friend
famousninja ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:47:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing that a lot of people forget is that this merry-go-round of chart hits that fade to nothing isn't new. It goes all the way back to the fifties when recorded music became a viable mass market medium.
Shanerion ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guarantee you, you will be. I'm only 28, and everything kids listen to today is steaming garbage. Whether it's Iggy Azalea, Nicki Ninaj, Arianna Grande, Miley Cyrus, One Direction, 2NE1. It's all garbage, it's trash, and they should listen to real music.
So in short, yes, you will be. Cause this isn't a figment of our collective imaginations. Music is objectively getting worse every decade. You'd have to have something with you not to notice that after a certain age.
Zemogray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Kanye West, Childish Gambino, Logic, J.Cole, Arctic Monkeys, GroupLove Lot's of really good artists out there. I would list more but other areas of music are not my expertise.
I like to give myself an open mind, i appreciate the music some of those artist make. Ariana Grande has a really amazing voice, and some people enjoy it. It's not trash because you personally don't like it. Music is an art, an opinion, a way to express your self. Everyone has their own preference. Just because certain artists just don't click for you, doesn't mean their not good.
satanicleaftailgecko ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:17:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those online people are too my friends!!! right guys? right?!
shadmere ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:52:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm your friend. :-)
satanicleaftailgecko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does your name have to do with skyrim?
shadmere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:07:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually used this name since the 90s. It was the name of a wizard in a story I was writing, and was a combination of the name Shadimar (from The Last Renshai series) and Darkmere (from the fairly terrible Dark Chronicles).
satanicleaftailgecko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THEN NO YOUR NOT MY FRIEND!!!
shadmere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
D:
But we've known each other for years!
I got you your job! I married your sister, for god's sake!
satanicleaftailgecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a job!
shadmere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I made sure of that!
satanicleaftailgecko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:09 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I never have had a job! Ha! So you couldn't make me lose it!
UnsungQuartet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only the people who reply to this are my true friends. Let's see how many there are!
StumpyMcPhuquerson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lonely sad old man, checking in.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:07:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Real vegans don't eat bacon.
deathmonka ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:40:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So much of this. I work for my parents business but hiring/firing is still run by the manager, and not my parents, and they aren't the type to not crack down on employees who don't work. So hearing "oh that doesn't count, thats not a real job your hired by your parents," no I'm hired by my manager, sorry you got fired twice and cant find a job.
kblaney ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:45:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When Scotland was voting to separate from the UK I had a number of friends who were commenting that real Scots were voting to separate (usually with a picture of Mel Gibson in Braveheart). It was a "No True Scotsman" argument in its natural habitat.
famousninja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The use of words other than their lit-er-al intention. Now that. Is. IRONY.
Codile ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:26:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm using a real editor. It's emacs!
Litmus2336 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Emacs: It's so much more than a real text editor. So, so much more.
SomebodyReasonable ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:39:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those are not (necessarily) No True Scotsman fallacies.
http://www.fallacyfiles.org/redefine.html
pyro5050 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but what about having real friends? real friends should support and life instead of hurt and pull you down. can i still say things like that?
the1990sjustcalled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Real DJs use vinyl
Slappa_the_bass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wish I could up vote you more
blechinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite response: by what standard?
Mardred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So reddit-friends are not real friends?
Night-Mayor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a side note. If someone legally does something to earn money (and even otherwise at times) don't talk down on it... ever. You will usually have no idea what their situation is and how much work actually goes into said thing they do to earn a living. Especially if it's something they love, and it makes them happy/not broke.
thebrose69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I have an argument for the 'real music' thing. I don't consider dubstep or EDM or things of that nature music because it's made electronically. I consider real music to be things like led Zeppelin, ac/dc, journey, bands that use actual instruments as opposed to a keyboard
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they would just replace "real" with "good" we could have an actual conversation but they aren't trying to converse. They are defining words as they see fit and your input is not welcome.
Barefooted23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, a job that doesn't pay enough to get you above the poverty line shouldn't be a "real" job. That's the only context I've heard it used, but other situations would probably be annoying.
nullstring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then what word do I say?
There are certainly cased where X technically qualifies as Y but is not what you would typically qualify as Y.
ReasonablyBadass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Those aren't real christians/jews/muslims, the reeaaal ones are peaceful"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but to be fair, "you're not a real Xtian if" usually has some claim.
Like, "You're not a real christian if you actively go against the teachings of Christ and buy into instead archaic group-based belief structures that defy everything to do with the word of god."
Looking at you, almost everyone.
Big_D_Squirrels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not a real Christian if..." is the reason I haven't gone back to the local church.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
None of them are real, because of the matrix
NehEma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a good day, until now. Thanks.
RogerDeanVenture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, my cousin has a job playing guitar at bars. He doesn't make shit, is bad, and almost never has bookings. He basically just sits around on his ass smoking pot. He should get a real job. Especially since he is a CPA & just doesn't want to be a part of "the system' or whatever
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck I see this on reddit all the time (about modern art.) I really like art. German expressionism and catholic reformation to be specific. I never shit on other genres. It's just not necessary. Other people enjoy it and other people are talented enough to make it, it literally doesn't affect me at all that there's other genres out there.
mifbifgiggle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"real food" as if food can be not food
Leakimlraj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try, Jack Douglass!
thedistrbdone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The people online one pisses me off, people don't understand friendships that can develop between online gamers. Sometimes I like people I talk with while gaming better than people I physically talk to
skinnyfatty1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can relate to the real job part. I dated a girl and she graduated with a 3.7 GPA in nuclear med and refused to apply to a "real" job and remained a bar tender at a local eatery. Don't get me wrong, it's a tough job, but the real part of it refers to a job with benefits, retirement ect. I used that phrase a lot. Come to find out I like women with ambition.
crybannanna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you, except when it is referring to the online "virtual" vs the outside "real".
That distinction seems legit to me.
"What are you doing in your room all day?"
"I'm playing with my friends, mom!"
"Go outside and play with your real friends in the real world!" (Aka "GET OFF THAT COMPUTER OR ILL THROW IT OUT HE GODDAMN WINDOW!")
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:56:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love me some "No True Scotsman" logic
moveovernow ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 00:56:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No True Scotsman is a specific type of argument from intimidation / proof by intimidation.
"Only stupid people say that"
"Everyone agrees that..."
"All scientists say it's so"
"A person would have to be dumb to think that"
master0fdisaster1 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:22:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No.
The No true scotsman fallacy has nothing to do with imtimidation. It's a fallacious way of discrediting a counter example.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:03:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
e.g. "Well, no X would do Y."
"But I know someone who's X and he does Y."
"Well, they're not a real X".
YanDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guys! Guys! It's about cock. End of.
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No.
Ad hominem
Bandwagon fallacy
Appeal to authority
No true scotsman has absolutely nothing to do with intimidation. It implies that someone is wrong because they don't properly understand a category they presented in their argument.
EG
Person 1: "Don't piss that guy off, he's clearly in a bike gang"
Person 2: "No it's not, its just a fat guy having a beer"
Person 1: "It is. Bikers always wear a patch like that on their jackets."
Person 2: "No real biker would wear a patch with roses on it"
Apellosine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always heard this as Argumentum ad populi or Argument from popularity.
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I try to use the english where possible though. People seem more interested and more inclined to learn about logic when it doesn't sound foreign
Apellosine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did type Argument from Popularity which is the English form of the phrase. Something is popular and therefore right is the Argument from popularity fallacy.
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bandwagon is more simple
Niallio ยท 5055 points ยท Posted at 16:38:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im OCD like that"
carlin_is_god ยท 1973 points ยท Posted at 22:43:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
/u/Poem_for_your_sprog has a really good poem about this here
Too_much_vodka ยท 228 points ยท Posted at 23:39:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
His original formatting makes it read a lot easier:
'I have to sort my books!' she cried,
With self-indulgent glee;
With senseless, narcissistic pride:
'I'm just so OCD!'
'How random, guys!' I smiled and said,
Then left without a peep -
And washed my hands until they bled,
And cried myself to sleep.
thebestisyetocome ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 00:29:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think he is actually a she.
Too_much_vodka ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:02:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Could be, I made a stupid assumption.
12ozSlug ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:54:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't beat yourself up. Somebody does it literally every time somebody mentions pfys.
phosphorize ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:25:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you check his AMA, you will see he confirms that he is a guy.
http://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/3aungz/hi_im_sam_garland_aka_upoem_for_your_sprog_ive/csg6ln6
Grey1914 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:54:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did we ever get a confirmation on whether it was a boy or a girl, I remember reading his post that said she was a boy then proceeded to say "or am I" Or did we get a confirmation.
phosphorize ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:24:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He is a guy, he says so in his AMA. He also wrote a children's book, "The mouse in the manor house". It is a short story in his usual rhyming style and very sweet.
http://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/3aungz/hi_im_sam_garland_aka_upoem_for_your_sprog_ive/csg6ln6
IanSan5653 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:01:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, I missed this ama. A couple of months ago, I check every single comment he up to the point where the she myth started, and couldn't find anything about it. This is finally closure.
hailthedragonmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But he says "or am I?". That still makes me wonder. Plus, even his name doesn't give any clues, since Sam could be either a boy or a girl.
SoGodDangTired ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:00 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Googling Sam Garland doesn't help because there is also an actress by the name. Could be the same person, could also not be.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:23:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just tried looking through their AMA to figure it out, but frankly I'm too drunk to figure it out - here's the link to their AMA
phosphorize ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:27:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There you are. Bonus: Witty poem!
http://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/3aungz/hi_im_sam_garland_aka_upoem_for_your_sprog_ive/csg6ln6
sillyribbit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:17:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who claims to be OCD, and I know she's actually seeing a therapist for something... But I am inclined to believe she is the "sorting books" kind of OCD. The way she talks about it is trivial and not really worrisome at all. I like it when all the cards are lined up nicely too, lolololol. It's just too awkward to ask her if she's diagnosed with the disorder or if she's just really fucking particular about things and proud of it.
357turduckin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair to her, you don't know the conflicting feelings you get from it. I take pride in my things being organized, but when you obsess over it so much you start to want to organize other peoples things it is a little out of hand. It took me a while to get over some of my bigger problems, but i still have to have everything at right angles to each other, worry about symmetry, and need all radio volumes and things like that to be on a multiple of five. It may not be a huge deal but it still buts into my life when I would really rather it not. Like when I'm driving and want to turn the radio up, but can't get it to sit on a five. Not only is it dangerous but it is also infuriating that I can't just let that go. It gets annoying, but on the other hand I still enjoy having things just so. Not a big deal but it is still something that negatively affects my life.
On the other hand I don't know your friend and only know my own feelings on the matter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My understanding of OCD is that it relates much more to the feelings/worries of what will happen if the individual doesn't perform the compulsion. I think everybody should be made aware of that when having a conversation about who may or may not suffer from OCD.
I_want_hard_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone can see a therapist if they pay them.
missuninvited ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:56 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is pretty nitpicky, but you can't "be" OCD. That's saying you're personifying the disorder itself. "Have OCD" is a better way to phrase that, and takes away from the "lol omg I'm so OCD!" trope.
sillyribbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:41 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am become OCD, fixer of worlds.
dinocheese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This made me sad
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:29:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is so true, they just don't understand how much some one with ocd suffers from day to day and they throw it back in our faces!
jdmoore04 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:10:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I send this poem to anyone who flippantly mentions OCD. To be honest, I've been searching this thread for u/poem_for_your_sprog to show up
Sootraggins ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:15:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hands bleeding? Gotta wash that blood off with some more soap.
sarasublimely ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:08:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More like: "let me get in the shower to clean off, oh that handle needs cleaned, let me use some bleach and a scrub brush... now I have bleach on my hands let me wash again, but with a nail brush. Oh there's another spot, grab the bleach again." Before you know it, the water is cold and you're naked on your knees, scrubbing the shower with a toothbrush, crying because nothing will ever be clean enough, not the shower and certainly not your hands.
Master_GaryQ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:31:39 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come and live at my place - you'll never run out of things to do
mariposailusionada ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:10:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who has permanent skin damage from this. He needed to wash his hands 13 times each time he used the restroom, sometimes with bleach. A year of therapy helped, but his hands still crack and bleed when it's cold.
Jacksonspace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:13:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was a perfect description of OCD.
unidentifies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:35:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... do people think anymore? Is that a thing that humans still do?
Sammikins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:45 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I work with a shithead for a boss and she has said it on numerous occasions. "Omg I'm just so OCD guys! XD" It makes me murderous. Same thing with people who flippantly use bipolar in the same fashion. "Sorry guys I am just so bipolar today! LOL" T_T fuck off, you are neither of those things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:13 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess we're obsessively compulsive over people who say they're OCD and bipolar
frittenlord ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:56:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This made me sad...:(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Am i the only one cringing at the thought of washing your hands till they bleed?
[deleted] ยท 3768 points ยท Posted at 17:17:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm bipolar like that."
"I'm schizophrenic like that."
"I'm borderline personality disorder like that."
These seem offensive, talking about OCD that way should seem it too.
Adeline409 ยท 170 points ยท Posted at 22:08:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The sad thing is that the third one is the only one I haven't heard.
WordBoxLLC ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:03:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've heard someone say "I'm schizophrenic like that"? What the hell was the context?
Jokes: Was it a preacher?
mrsworser ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:13:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
more importantly who would know that context? delusions and psychosis without mental illness usually come from using ultra cracked out shit like crystal meth or pcp or bath salts
WordBoxLLC ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:21:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol, opiates, and cannabis can all cause psychosis, delusions, and hallucinations. Alcohol detox is pretty crazy and can kill the person.
mrsworser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:27 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh gosh that is so true. didn't even remember it. i just kept thinking about that guy in Florida that ate someone's face off
WordBoxLLC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:24 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did they ever figure that one out? Last I knew the media was, hilariously, pushing cannabis as the cause.
mrsworser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:20 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miami_cannibal_attack
bath salts
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:26:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KimoCroyle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:43:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I figured this out as a child before I even really knew what drugs were, and it was fucking awesome! I remember telling my mom about it and then all of a sudden the Benadryl was in hard-to-reach places all the time...
I live in Florida though, so psychoactives grow all over the place 7-8 months a year.
mrsworser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:10:54 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nice. thanks for helping me with my weekend plans
prancingElephant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:26:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My English professor said something like that my freshman year. I didn't know how to respond but it kind of upset me.
Tommybeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've read tumblr users use it when they justify having "headmates"
WordBoxLLC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WTF is that?
MatlockMan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Voices in the head
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:25:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
liber_nihilus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not always. A lot of people cope with their schizophrenia in this way. Makes the experience less intrusive/threatening to accommodate and befriend them.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:00:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
liber_nihilus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:23:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With the state of mental health and the stigma of even going to therapy let alone being diagnosed, it wouldn't surprise me if this community was born out of people having symptoms and learning to cope with it. Like any other community, there will be people who just want to belong for whatever reason, and don't actually have the symptoms.
Tommybeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Batshit insanity driven by the glorification of mental illnesses
Daihappy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually heard that, funny because it comes from the same person who claims to be bipolar.
DarlingDestruction ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bipolar and BPD can often come as a package deal, unfortunately. =/
saint_maria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:51:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only time I hear the third one is when you've got a bitter ex husband on r/relationships.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:08:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually heard it.
spaceflora ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:12:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The third one would have me running screaming for the hills. But I suffered the emotional abuse of someone who I swear to god had borderline personality disorder. I won't touch that shit with a 10 foot pole and I am not sorry for having that opinion.
He's a registered sex offender now.
MenacingErmine ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 06:09:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is usually reworded as "just otherkin things," or "just headmate things."
Crook_Lid ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:04:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know people who were proud of being Bi-polar actually. They didn't have it, but were proud to say they did.
bangorthebarbarian ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:12:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They should try it on hard mode and be proud to be Black.
SadKangaroo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:37:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Only if you like games like Demon's Souls and the Dark Souls series.
EDIT: For those who don't know of these games, they're notorious for the player dying very often, and usually unfairly.
Man_With_Van ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like most deaths in Souls games are quite fair. Almost every time I died I felt it was my fault.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
endthestigma
Zolazo7696 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man that's really sad. I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was little and my mom never did anything about it. It wasn't until I was older that it really started wearing me down. It's a pretty crappy thing to have.
[deleted] ยท 162 points ยท Posted at 20:17:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm OCD and Bipolar. I actually laugh at jokes about both, because I even though I do go to therapy and take my meds, I think comedy is the best treatment for anything. If I take it too seriously, I just get depressed. Joke, both from me, and others make me remember that it's something to keep in perspective, but never let it get out of hand.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:22:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good point.
prettynickel ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:37:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have the same, although I know there's a lot of variation so we don't have the same experiences. But I have so much trouble taking that as a joke, especially when they joke about being bipolar. Maybe I'm angry because I can't join in on their jokes. Aren't you worried someone is going to take your jokes seriously and make judgments?
Or maybe I'm just bitter because it's obvious they don't think it's a serious condition. I have to lose time, money, and take meds for the rest of my life. Ugh sorry, I'm a buzzkill. I can't even talk about bipolar jokes without getting angry.
sparkly_butthole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm somewhere between the two of you. It's best not to get too uptight over shit like that- it isn't worth your time or energy.
At the same time, people like this are part of the reason mental illness is so disgraceful in our society. If you know what true mental illness is, you're more likely to be compassionate. So this is harmful.
JetSetHippie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
..not sure if you're being ironic to be funny or...
:)
prettynickel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:04:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
100% serious, unfortunately. I wish I could be lighthearted about it.
JetSetHippie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aw. Hugs. Maybe when you're on the upswing it'll get a giggle.
For what it's worth, I agree it is nothing to be joked about - I get people wanting to 'try and make the best of it' but there is a severe lack of respect for all mental illnesses, and either pretending to be 'OCD' for effect or straight up mocking it is doing noone any favors.
catsinspace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a joke though. There isn't anything funny about it. They aren't trying to be funny. Tell me a really good, offensive joke about OCD and I'm so down! This is just lame and overused.
svante8008 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:41:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totaly agree! Even laughed when some guy at uni said i looked like a fucking EMO with all my scars. And i joke about my bipolar and ADHD (not so much anorexia) all the time! Go on, have a laugh!
l3esitos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bipolar and minor schizophrenia, shit's fun to laugh at when it's not derogatory.
bigmansam45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My old housemate is bipolar. He had a similar feeling. He said one of the reasons he liked me was that I was never afraid to call him a twat when he was being a twat; showed I didn't really give a fuck about the illness and was talking to the dude, made him feel normal.
FuckinGoof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm [disorder] like that" seems like a pretty run of the mill exaggeration.... Like when someone says "I'm going to kill you!" nobody gets offended on behalf of murder victims and their families.
Cartman005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do people say it like that? "I am obsessive compulsive disorder." I would think that would annoy someone who actually has OCD.
whatsnewpussykat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you. I have anxiety and previously struggled with depression, as well as drug addiction (3.5 years clean). My arms are covered in scars from self harming and I make jokes all the time. I got a paper cut at work once and yelled "oh god! What if I get a scar?" It landed pretty well.
PvtPoonTang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have ocd and id just like to mention that you cant "be OCD." OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. You cannot be it.
DORKUS_PORPOISE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But when they say, "Ugh I'm so bipolar today, they don't mean it as a joke. How can you take that as a joke? I'm confused.
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
whew... addictions counsellor that works with mental health counsellors. :) we make jokes about ourselves quite a bit like that... never our clients though, :)
i_give_you_gum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah the morons at work put that on their bio pages thinking it was cute, it's like no people, it's actually kind of a horrible condition you're making light of.
HowBoutDemMons ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:42:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like some people don't appreciate others as well such as
"Lol I guess I'm retarded!"
"Lol I must have dyslexia!"
"Lol I'm so ADHD!"
Zolazo7696 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my defense I really do believe I have dyslexia. I've never complained to a doctor anything. But I fuck up everything I read and say out loud especially when reading from stuff out loud. Been like that since I was little but I never had THAT much trouble in school. I feel like it's gotten much worse as I get older. I also had trouble speaking when I was little. Also have some trouble understanding people.
prancingElephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That could be something, but whatever it is, it's not dyslexia. Dyslexics have trouble recognizing written words. Instead of being able to just look at a word and be like, "oh, that says penguin", they have to go, "okay, that's a p...e...n...g...u...aha! it says penguin!"
HowBoutDemMons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The you don't really count, everyone screws up reading sometime, like reading incredible as inedible or saying massage instead of message, but just screwing up every now and again is normal. In your case it's probably just a mild case, so you're exempt form the people I'm talking about.
isaacjdavery ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 19:03:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a person who has Bi-Polar disorder and experienced severe hallucinations when I was manic-depressive, these phrases make me want to punch someone in the face.
EDIT: Spelling of severe
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:47:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally agree. I can only speak for bipolar disorder but people don't know what it is really like and therefore shouldn't speak in a way that makes it seem trivial. I can only assume people with other mental illnesses must feel the same. Stay strong man.
isaacjdavery ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:50:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been off meds for a little over a year now, and out of therapy for almost the same amount of time. It feels really good. It's difficult sometimes, because I can't rely on one person to listen to me all the time, but I feel really healthy most days.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:05:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure I could do the no meds thing but I am glad you can do it. It must be awesome. As far as therapy I have never really needed it, personally, so I can't really relate. I'm glad you have seemed to find your way of dealing with it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks man. You too. Maybe I will catch you on /r/bipolar some day.
isaacjdavery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't ventured there yet, I'm still a bit of a noob here.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is a pretty judgement free place. Give it a shot one day.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've definitely received some good support and help over there. It helps to know there are others who struggle with the same stuff I do and that I'm not some broken freak.
isaacjdavery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:52 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're not broken, and you're certainly not a freak. Your mental disorder does not define who you are.
IssphitiKOzS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My immediate response to this is always "That's what you say, until you meet someone diagnosed with XexagerateddisorderX."
isaacjdavery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure I follow what you mean, I've read your comment back like twenty times..
svante8008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How long were you on med and what meds were you taking. I have been on meds for a year now and I hate it! Doctors say I have to stay on them till I die.
isaacjdavery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:56 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was on them for two years (I was diagnosed when I was sixteen, I got off them when I turned eighteen, and I didn't have to listen to my doctors or mother anyway - or so I thought). I was taking Depakote at 1500 MGs. (Three 500 MG pills a day). I know it sucks, but in a lot of situations the meds can ONLY help - it does get better, stay strong.
Smegead ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:44:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a person with bipolar disorder who takes the time to process my thoughts, these people mildly annoy but I realize they're a symptom of a much larger problem resulting from a commonly held set of misconceptions about the disorder and metal health issues in general. I also realize they have no personal attachment to the issue and so I can't expect them to be able to understand. Then I realize I have way bigger issues.
isaacjdavery ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:24:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely true. My freshman year roommate is a theatre major - and he was taking an acting class where they had to use masks. He wanted to do BiPolar and make one mask incredibly happy and fun while the other incredibly hateful and mad. I had to explain to him what being manic and being depressed actually was and when he took the time to listen I felt good being able to educate someone on the subject - especially before he did a performance on it that could have only made it worse.
Pristine_Alligator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Bipolar type 1 and my thoughts on this change with my mood. Sometimes I don't care at all and laugh it off, sometimes I could punch someone in the teeth, sometimes I don't have the energy to care. Your typo made me laugh by the way, "metal health issues". Those robots need to start taking better care of themselves!
svante8008 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL all redditors have bipolar dissorder!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:49:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
isaacjdavery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have type two as well, my mania is considerably less intense than my depression - but I do have very bad manic-depressive episodes sometimes (haven't had one in over a year, though).
And on the Bipolar Bear thing, I had a friend in high school who called me that because he was convinced I'd turn out gay, and I happened to have more hairs on my chest than everyone else - I didn't mind, I thought it was funny. Turns out he's actually gay, and to my knowledge I'm still straight.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:05:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He was just hitting on you.
isaacjdavery ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:22:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was completely unaware of that until you told me, thank you.
Aside from the sarcasm, thanks for the response.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
isaacjdavery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I may have been misdiagnosed - who knows? The Psychiatrist I saw in the psychiatric ward diagnosed not only myself, but my roommate, and three others with the same thing in the same week. Now that may have been coincidence (cause we definately shouldn't have been talking about our diagnoses) but I'd be willing to bet that some mistakes were made.
But he did describe mine as being stress induced, so more or less like a seizure or something of the kind - I was prescribed seizure medication as a result.
rocketboobies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like Barry the Bi bi-polar polar bear?
nickyardo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What exactly is manic-depressive?
isaacjdavery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:31 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Manic-depressive is best described as a rage-filled, clearly triggered panic attack. Generally when someone with Bi-Polar disorder is in a Manic-depressive state, they are suicidal; or at least, that's been my experience, I could be very-very wrong. Generally entering into the state is a small euphoria, followed then by obsessive bantering and impulsive decision making - generally this is what a lot of people think Depression actually looks like, intense sadness and anger and hate just pours out of you.
To put it super simply: If Mania is a state of irrational thought, and depression is a state of hyper-rational thought, then manic depression is a state of hyper-irrational thought.
nickyardo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:49 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the explanation
cross-eye-bear ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:05:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone in a similar position to you... These phrases don't bother me at all. I don't need to claim loyalty to my mental team or some shit, who cares, they do them and you do you. It's just words and can be kinda contextually descriptive considering the perception.
isaacjdavery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:30 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but when you have people like my college roommate who thought Bi-Polar disorder was being happy and being sad in equal irrational amounts, that's kind of a problem, especially when he took me being excited about a new chapter of Tokyo Ghoul or a good part of a book I'm reading as me being manic - or when I would be tired, he'd take that as depression. Like, he wasn't able to identify it, and it got annoying sometimes. It's contexts like that that you do have to educate people.
And when I encounter people who say "He/she is so bipolar" I calmly let them know that I'm bipolar and that being two-faced does not make someone bipolar, it makes them an asshole.
cross-eye-bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
to be honest I find people who self identify as bipolar in casual conversation pretty annoying.
isaacjdavery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:00 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is your opinion - I tend to be more open with it. I don't flat out tell people unless it comes up, which is more rare than I'm giving credit.
Not to say that your point isn't valid, but if I cared what people thought about me (whether they found me annoying or not) I wouldn't self-identify with a mental disorder.
cross-eye-bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:50 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
to each his own.
its just that I don't see people almost proudly boasting about having eczema for example.
maybe I was exposed to too many emo teenage girls who would try hop aboard the bipolar train before that now I'm cautious around anyone who bandies it around, gets vocally defensive or brings it up in casual conversation . its my thing and I deal with it on my terms. I'm not offended by the descriptor of bipolar cause as far as an adjective goes it's pretty understood.
isaacjdavery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:03 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess to put it into better terms, here's a rough transcription of what happens when I hear someone use it incorrectly.
"God I hate that (insert adjective here), he/she's so bipolar!" "Hey man, that's not cool." "Well, not actually - it would suck if they were." "Yeah dude, it would. Being BiPolar kinda sucks, and it has nothing to do with being all happy one minute and sad the next, the mood swings take time and can be anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks. The highs are dangerous, and the lows are destructive. I could tell you more about it if you want me to, but please don't use that phrase to describe someone who's two-faced anymore."
Now I will admit it's rarely that well-worded, as that conversation is a manic trigger, and I'll stutter a lot more, but I usually use a layout like that.
But on the note of the teenage girls: I hated them too. Too many of those in the psyche ward when I went there, but I couldn't call them out on it, because that's really fucking rude. But in the real world, I tend to distance myself from other BiPolar types if they are loud and obnoxious about it - but the ones that are more like me tend to flock and we have our own little clique that only crazy kids on meds can be a part of, its oddly comforting.
cross-eye-bear ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:25:02 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mind me asking how old you are ?
isaacjdavery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:38 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nineteen, I'm generally talking to people my age when explaining my point.
cross-eye-bear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:51 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get ya. I suppose when I was younger I also maybe felt better trying to 'own' or 'control' this by aligning myself under it's specific banner.
isaacjdavery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:04 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That might be it - who knows? I don't even know what I'm gonna eat for dinner tonight, I'm certainly not qualified to talk about my own mental disorder!
darcys_beard ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:26:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What phrases?
isaacjdavery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:55 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im OCD like that" "I'm bipolar like that." "I'm schizophrenic like that." "I'm borderline personality disorder like that."
TundieRice ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:41:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People using bipolar like that is pretty common too.
PATXS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:24:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I've actually heard someone refer to themselves as bipolar in this matter. Only once though.
midgethemage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:03:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually heard people say "I'm bipolar like that." I find it fucking infuriating. What?! You can show more than two emotions in the span of ten minutes?! Shocking!!!!!
JIH7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen people call themselves bipolar before. One girl I went to middle school with would say "I'm bipolar and I will GO OFF ON YOU!" She definitely wasn't, she just chose not to control her temper. It offended me personally because I grew up with serious anger problems and I learned to keep my head on straight and bite my tongue even when I feel rage welling up inside of me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear people joke around about things being bipolar all the time as well, actually. "Lol this weather is so bipolar" when they mean the weather is changing frequently. Pisses me off, man.
NettleFrog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, I've heard bipolar used like that. :(
yangxiaodong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for blowing everything you do or say out of proportion, I'm just autistic like that.
Meta make autism the new thing that everyone claims to have, that'd actually be hilarious.
throwaway124365789 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AGREED! One of the smartest posts on reddit I have ever read was a comment in response to the question "What is something 100 years from now people will think we are barbarians for?" The comment: Treatment of Mental illness. It really irritates me when people speak like that and then pride themselves about how aware or "just" they are.
jmwbb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have Tourette's Syndrome.
It never ends.
Expand_dong420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My OCD is crippling and people use that word like it's nothing. Really urks me.
lawndo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd need to know the context before deciding whether or not I'd find that statement offensive.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree its fucking retarded
KittenStealer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im rapey like that"
NehEma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:05:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just fuck those people.
William_Dearborn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:53:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I lived with someone with borderline personality disorder, I almost punched someone in the throat when they said they probably had it jokingly
lorner96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:23:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've definitely heard people use those first two
monkeyman427 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:11:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gender identity disorder like that
Ziedon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:22:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The first question I ask whenever someone says stuff like this is: "What kind of help do you receive?" Which is usually followed by, "Well... I don't get help, but I know I have it." And that is how you tell who is just being Facebook stupid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WELL I'M PSYCHOTICALLY VIOLENT LIKE THAT
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ugh, I need to lose 3 pounds sooooo bad, I should just go anorexic."
Very personal for me, always sends me into a rage spiral.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:32 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once heard "I'm so autistic like that."
Bitch. No. Stop, before you get hurt.
sociallyawkwardjess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:20 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone with bipolar 2 nothing in this world makes me angrier than when people say shit like that. Even reading your comment made me angry. Ugh.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm FUCK terretts like that.
RWDMARS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm about to suicide like that."
gerbafizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I threw up this morning, I'm just cancer-y that way ya know?"
oluek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's dumb.
Sysiphuslove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm dangerously psychotic like that."
accepting_upvotes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard people say this too.
Cody6781 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree.. The ocd version is annoying as fuck but I don't think I would say it's the same as saying schizophrenic. Obvious similarities aside, they are very different diseases in actuality. As least in most cases the ocd thing is at least a tiny bit applicable
JuggernautV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or my favorite: im autistic like that.
scrogglez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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permalinksaveparenteditdisable inbox repliesdeletereplied
[โ]scrogglez 1 point just now
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[โ]scrogglez 1 point just now
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scrogglez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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scrogglez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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scrogglez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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scrogglez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funny how nobody claims to be psychopathic like that innit?
karnoculars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think reddit is way too critical of this kind of shit. It's just an exaggeration to convey an idea, like when someone says they're starving. They're not literally starving, just really hungry. I think every gets that. Just seems like an odd thing to be bothered by.
LaughsAtOwnJoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am so broken like that
Jaytalvapes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go back to Tumblr.
Aspergers1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm autistic like that"
Dreadsin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard people use "schizophrenic" casually to more or less say a hyperbolized hypocrite
321Cheers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a narcissist. "
How humble of you to notice.
CalmSpider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ha ha yeah, I took the day off work. I just wasn't feeling well. I'm HIV like that."
"I just woke up feeling really fatigued. I guess I'm a little muscular dystrophy today."
cagetheblackbird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone medically diagnosed with BPD, and whose BPD and OCD almost ruined my life, they can fuck right off. Nothing infuriates me more than trivializing the things people actually have to deal with. "Im so retarded" - no you're not, assbag.
DancingTurtle99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have PTSD like that"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I legitimately believe I have OCD though, in the real sense.
No I'm not a clean freak, no not everything has it's place, but I've got this tick where I need to hit the home button on my phone what seems like at least 5 times and I need to check and close recent apps 5 times in a row before I feel satisfied.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did some reading on the subject and it was very interesting. It seems that the part of your brain that tells you there is a problem is fine but once the problem is fixed the next part of the brain that says, "good job, next task" never gets activated and you feel like there is still a problem. It sounds like this isn't huge issue you for you (comparatively) but you should watch to see if it gets worse. The solution is to fight it as long as you can (the repeated processes) and do something you truly enjoy and can get better at. For example learning guitar. It releases dopamine which strengthens new pathways in the brain and can 'fix' the problem. This is all according to 'The Brain that Changes Itself' by Norman Doidge.
thegoblingamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have ADD and it does affect my life, but I don't mind if someone says "I'm just ADD like that".
Paindemix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OCD is not being bothered when something is out of place. OCD is when you can't step on the last step of your staircase because you believe that if you do, your life will be I'm shambles . It's when you can stop keeping useless objects until finally you bury yourself alive and tear your family apart. It isn't a joking matter. It's not "cute". I hat when people say things like rhat.
EDIT: looks like somebody else said alot of the same things I did, didn't notice until I scrolled down. Just serves to prove the point though.
mouseknuckle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm diabetes like that. I'm arthritis like that. I'm eczema like that. It's a fucking medical condition, not a charming personality quirk.
What do I know, I'm ADHD like that.
REF_YOU_SUCK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Two_Coins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God can you believe him? He was such a cancer patient, just sick all of the time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im chill like that
BadgersForChange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I am bipolar like that. And like this.
punzybobo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know this was Tumblr.
SnowJoust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "I tried to (insert task) but my ADHD kicked in!".
ADHD is the real deal and my life was a trainwreck before I got treatment.
efilsnotlad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm cool like that" "I'm jive like that"
JThoms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who works with the mentally ill population you have no idea how much it infuriates me when people say "I have ADD sometimes". I laugh because I actually do have ADD but have it pretty well maintained through meditation because I was tired of feeling like a zombie while taking the medications.
Regardless, people who say they are depressed, then say it's because they couldn't get tickets to some stupid concert irk me. Real depression is fucking awful and should never be "imitated".
thistledownhair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People definitely misuse schizophrenia in a similar way
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm bipolar like that doesn't sound offensive, I'm schizo like that makes you sound like an idiot, and I'm borderline personality disorder like that is clumsy.
sadman81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they are probably a retard like that
ClnKilgore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when Poem for your sprog did a poem vaguely about this.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/29qfnm/what_common_misconceptions_really_irk_you/cinik24?context=3
matsiinthecity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck them. Wait till you get diagnosed and then tell me how quirky you think it is.
Omnipotent_Entity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OMFG THE BRICK IN THE SIDEWALK IS OUT OF PLACE MY OCD IS KILLING ME ARGH! Your OCD is not killing you because it isn't real. You are annoyed because the brick violated the pattern your brain made up. Requiring exactly 23 napkins to be on the table for every meal is OCD. Having to walk around your house 3 times before you can go in is OCD. Having to tune into every TV channel and watch every video in your youtube subscriptions is OCD. YOU DO NOT HAVE OCD YOU INCONSIDERATE WALNUT.
the1990sjustcalled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sociopathic like that.
lamiaconfitor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use all of these, because I have histrionic personality disorder like that.
ManLeader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"that's so autistic"
ProbablyNotSteve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stopped reading your comment halfway through. Damn my ADHD, lol!
thirdegree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm an idiot like that."
"I'm dumb like that."
"I'm lame like that."
Maybe language changes?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The bipolar one is actually used a lot by idiots unfortunately.
7even6ix2wo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy like that.
precociouspi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes can be offensive if they want to. You can't make a good joke without offending someone
vuhleeitee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People don't think the bipolar one is offensive, they just use it to describe their ex for being mad about being cheated on
gaydarless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Any time I hear people say shit like that my mouth just hangs there a little. I always hope they'll realize what they are saying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
stop being so sensitive
CoutolencRoad ยท 1743 points ยท Posted at 19:23:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So much fucking this.
OCD isn't liking things being neat and orderly. OCD is not sleeping because you kept checking to make sure the front door was locked and then forced yourself to stop even when it still didn't feel okay, only to panic and check that every knife is away in its drawer and those drawers are securely closed because you're afraid something sharp will fall off the table, land on the cat, and kill it. Then when you're done with that you try to go to bed but you accidentally touched the used tissue your roommate left on the table so you wash your hands again and again and again and now suddenly its' 4:30 and you might as well not go to bed at all because you need to double-check the homework you already double-checked.
Fuck people who make light of OCD. (For clarification, I do not have OCD, but this is a real sequence of events that occurs sometimes to someone I know who does.)
[deleted] ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 20:26:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly how it feels to me. Everything must be positioned perfectly on the dining room table or it will make me more vulnerable to abduction. When I go to bed the covers must be crisp and perfect and I have to get into bed a certain way or the sheets will strangle me in my sleep. I can only sleep on my back but when I take my earrings out I sleep on my left side because that means nothing can puncture a hole in my head. That's just the beginning of it. And OCD people know it's stupid and ridiculous but in some tiny way we are struck with terror that what IF these awful things do happen because we didn't give in to our compulsions and invasive thoughts?
thebbman ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:40:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Um I suddenly feel uncomfortable. I do all sorts of weird things like this all the time and I have to constantly stop myself and tell myself to relx. Could I have OCD or maybe just slight paranoia?
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:10:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would consider it OCD. A lot of it for me dealt with intrusive thoughts which were recurring, awful, usually illegal, disturbing, or straight up fucked up. But that is how it started. My least favorite and most disturbing thought revolves around breaking necks. Even if I am being gentle when I wrestle with my dog, I have to stop to check that I didn't fracture or break his neck. Cat sleeping? I probably broke her neck. Hear my neck pop? Probably broke it and will die shortly. I get way more fucked up thoughts than that but they result in doing things that will "reverse" the effects of what I believe will happen. To ensure I don't choke when I'm drinking from a tall glass, I take 12 quick gulps then ditch the rest of my drink. In the morning I have to make sure all my limbs are intact or they might decay. I have to constantly tap my fingers on a certain pattern that will keep me safe at night so demons don't get me.
thebbman ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:17:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to obsess over if my books I was carrying would get damaged in any way. So if I had one with me in the car and left it in there when we got to a store I would make sure it rested in the perfect position on the seat so that it couldn't get damaged.
I also frequently struggle with brief violent imagery in my head. Example: I was up in the mountains with my fiance and we were standing close to an edge and I had brief visions of what would happen if I pushed. It made me step away from the edge and I got sick to my stomach.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:33:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:15:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The oven thing is the worst. Sometimes I have to drive home from work to check again even though I already checked. Fortunately I'm down to about once a month now! I still continously go back and forth from my car to the door to check the lock 2-3 times a week though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Set up a webcam so you never have to do this again.
nickyardo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:49:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel that way if I touch something I feel is germy. I feel off until I've washed that part of my body
Killerina ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
InvalidArgument56 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:09:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have those thoughts too, but it's more "what if I didn't lock the door correctly, and what if someone breaks in and steals all my stuff" rather than the violent stuff. But sometimes I do have thoughts, like if I am driving and I hit a bump I will start thinking about how I hit an animal or a child, and it will get to a point where I'll stop my can and check.
Maybe it's just because of this comment thread, but should I go and get checked for OCD? I have other neurological problems so I don't know if it's just those.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey there is never any shame in being checked out. Visiting a therapist can help you understand lots of issues in your life regardless of whether or not you are mentally ill. I would give it a shot if I were you. Because you do seem to have paranoia and anxiety and it could definitely be under OCD and the only way to be sure is by being diagnosed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the difference is you're not 'doing' anything as a means of preventing the above things from happening - iethe compulsions which an OCD sufferer will perform. It sounds more like generalised anxiety to me, but I'm not a psychologist.
moramos93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:53:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do the exact same things with my fingers, for the same reason. In a specific sequence, too. Sometimes I wonder if it was a coping mechanism when I was a kid that just carried to adulthood? Either way, it's still very, very annoying.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:35:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to put my left thumbnail under every other nail starting with the index and then working my way back up. Then I use the left thumbnail on my right hand in the same way. Then I use my right thumbnail but reversed. Or I press each nail into each fingertip. It is an anxiety thing. I used to chew on sharp things to stab my gums (oh sweet jesus it felt so good) but it started destroying my gum line so I went back to the fingernail thing.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:38:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:56:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it horrible? My mother was talking to a couple of friends and friend 1 was talking about how her daughter obsessively tidies her room in particular ways, has strange obsessive habits and gets very frustrated and will scream and cry at whoever messes up her routines. Friend 2 starts talking about how kids these days can get away with a lot of mental illness bullshit because parents coddle them too much and that friend 1 should do everything to prevent the girl from doing her habits and shouldn't be comforted. I butted on a bit to help explain that mental illness goes deeper than being coddled and OCD has a lot of underlying mental stress and anxiety and that friend 1's daughter is probably in more distress than they can even begin to explain. Anyway, this whole conversation ended predictably with me being told off for trying to defend stupidity and for just "arguing for the sake of being different" and that REAL mental illness is not edgy or different. This is the same shit I was confronted with from my parents when my therapist tried to tell them I was suffering from depression, OCD, and BPD several years ago. Having nobody but your therapist understand is truly alienating. And to anybody who is reading this and feels terribly related to how I felt cast out and misunderstood, you're absolutely not alone.
nickyardo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's one thing I didn't understand about OCD, and I think a lot of people don't. It's not just repetitive actions. It's constant intrusive/obsessive thoughts. And they can be about anything really. It's so frustrating
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it? Like I also get thoughts about how I would kill myself (I should just jump off this balcony right onto the water slide. I'd go out with a bang in front of this group of children) and where I would kill and disembowel my animals. When I get these thoughts it just breaks me down and it is so so difficult to get rid of them. I would never ever even consider hurting anyone or myself or an animal, and those thoughts disgust me and are extremely disturbing. And I will repeat a phrase over and over in my head for hours (I'm gonna slit my wrists etc etc) and it will just torture me. On a good day I can brush off these thoughts and feel somewhat normal.
nickyardo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Have you thought about seeing someone? I think it would be good to get a professional opinion
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:01:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have before and I was much better with a therapist than I am now. However we are very poor so I can only go to my school therapist, meaning I have to wait til the start of this school year to go.
nickyardo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:06:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry :/ there's lots of helpful subs on here, or you can DM me if you ever feel like it
nickyardo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just out of curiosity, how old are you?
nickyardo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I pop my fingers in a certain order
IndilVala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OCD isn't a black or white disorder, there are shades of grey.
For example: My father having to tap his watch, wallet, keys and cell phone in precisely the same order, precisely 5 times before leaving the house is a bit OCD. (Before the cell phone was added to the mix counting was in repetitions of 3 which was better.)
If he's already left the house, he's tired and can't remember if he counted that day, then turning the car around to go back home, and unlock the house and count again "watch, wallet, keys, cell phone 1, watch, wallet..." is more OCD.
But it could be worse, once he's actually gotten to his destination if he can't remember if he counted that day he'll do a spot check and if all are there, 3 times in the right order, he's good to go.
If it's something you can't control, if it is inconvenient or embarrassing, if you notice the repetitions are increasing, if you can't move on to the next task or have high anxiety to do so without completing the ritual, you should probably go see your doctor to discuss it.
nickyardo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is comforting to read. It's so nice to know that other people understand how I feel
digitaldeadstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to joke that I was slightly OCD because I liked things neat and orderly. But after reading some of these responses, I'm now wondering if I'm just very particular about things or if I may actually exhibit some traits of OCD.
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 20:27:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To clarify, what people generally refer to when they say "OCD" is actually "OCPD", or Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. They're two totally different things.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:05:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say this.
And even then, OCPD is a clinical diagnosis that can eat away at your soul. Trust me
nickyardo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:53:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's the difference?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:00:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very true! Didn't mean to paint OCD with too narrow a brush, was mainly trying to make a distinction between the two.
nickyardo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Guess I have OCPD
Edit: after looking it up, it seems like I'm more OCD instead. I'll have to ask my counselor
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:11:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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nickyardo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No actually I wasn't. I think my Councelor mentioned that I have OCPD instead of OCD, but it's been a while
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:50:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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nickyardo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually going to a psychiatrist tomorrow! But my counselor is great because she knows what I'm dealing with. She does have a degree
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect! Glad to hear. Good luck. And if you have any questions, feel free to let me know -- I'm a few months from my MD, so I can translate docspeak for ya if you ever run into that problem.
nickyardo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No problem!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not totally different, but yes, different.
Madux37 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 20:46:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Um, Mrs. Kelly, why are you doing everything in 3's?"
"So Charlie doesn't die, of course. Good night boys."
nickyardo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was the kind of kid who avidly avoided cracks on the pavement so my mom didn't break her back
xXerisx ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:06:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have OCD."
"Me too."
Been dealing with severe, debilitating OCD, since I was about 7 (Im 27, now) and I dont ddislike people saying it because it's like some sort of club, it's because since it has become a popular phrase, it belittles what I go through, thus making it harder for people to understand or grasp exactly what a strain on my life it is. They think they have it because they are tidy or have some bouts once in a while; so, they don't understand that taking a shower can take 2 hours, walking out the door could take 15 minutes, etc., etc. I just don't tell people unless I really get to know them because it will become obvious, eventually.
myCommentsAreTheLaw ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:31:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you intend to type the "d" in "ddislike" twice & immediately delete the 2nd? Because.. Well, I assume you can figure why I asked... โบ
xXerisx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Its funny, because I reread this, saw that, and figured "Someones gonna think that's OCD.", which is also another thing people do when they know I have it and actually understand what it means (I dont have a problem with this), but no... that was just a typo. :P
myCommentsAreTheLaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ddamn.. Thought you were my future mate ๐
xXerisx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Sorry! I do OCD with typing, writing and reading but not like that; I always do my OCD stuff before I enter it or, like you said, I edit it.
I would say what sets me off but then assholes on here would intentionally do it (like my ex).
When I read and stumble while reading a word, I go back a word, and if I stumble on that word, go back another. I've become a pretty fast reader because of it, though.
Two people with OCD? Well, that would be interesting. My last relationship that I just got out of (7 years), my OCD was a big strain on our relationship... although she did like when I would OCD while kissing her and keep kissing her over and over.
x.x
myCommentsAreTheLaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hehehe It's good for consistency, that's for sure. I wouldn't get rid of it if the world paid me ๐
xXerisx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:24 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Well, some of the OCD things I used to do when I was younger has faded. Im only left with the obnoxious, useless OCD rituals now. The reading thing has stopped and that was, arguably, the only part of my OCD that bettered me in some way.
myCommentsAreTheLaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:17 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've taught myself to "channel" it! Meaning, let it ride but aim it toward useful/productive activities ๐
xXerisx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:55 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I have something I channel for useful/productive activities that I could let you ride.
myCommentsAreTheLaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:23 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A Samsung remote?
xXerisx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:47 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it's sort of close (not really) because it DOES rhyme with "click"...
Replace the "cl" with two d's and you got it.
myCommentsAreTheLaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:44 on August 19, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2 Ds HAHAHAHALMFAO NICE ONE DUDE lol!!
IWillDefeatOCD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:56:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey friend :D we're about the same age (I'm 28) and I got OCD when I was 7 as well, and have been legally disabled by it for 5 years now. I totally feel you on not wanting to tell people. Not sure how well you're doing from your post, but hang in there and keep fighting. I'm in my 4th treatment attempt and I'm taking it seriously now and I've already lost a few points on the Y-BOCS. Don't give up ever!
xXerisx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Thanks! You too!
Its super tough and when you go through an OCD attack, its like living in your own little hell (especially when its happening all day).
If anyone is curious to what OCD is really like, the episode of scrubs with Dr. Kevin Casey is pretty damn spot on. Example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIyy9TW3ZCQ Does a great job conveying how people with severe OCD feel; the outbursts/screaming during an OCD attack and him wanting to hide it from people when it gets really bad is spot on.
Coincidentally, I was just about to ask if "OCD attack" is even a word anyone uses to describe episodes and the first video that came up while searching for that link - using the words 'OCD Scrubs' - was: "SCRUBS Michael J. Fox as Dr. Kevin Casey (OCD attack)";
so, I guess that answered that question.
I keep being told to get put on disability and I should but I guess I decided to let my life go to hell (Employers aren't crazy with you OCD'ing in the bathroom for an hour, everyday).
In order to get disability you need to constantly be going into therapy and I guess I decided screwing up my life was a better route.
Im going to get started with treatment soon because I really need to. I was on medication but never really got too far into therapy because I stopped going after some shitty life events. I will get short periods where it calms down a bit - enough to where I don't want to blow my brains out, everyday - and I will not bother getting help, and then kicks up again and with a vengeance (since Im not used to the severity after having one of these rare calm periods).
This is the first time in about 8 years it has been this calm and it probably has a lot to do with my anxiety being down after getting out of an abusive relationship (less anxiety makes it easier to end OCD attacks quickly) but I I've had 8 years to try to get help and I didn't and that's on me. Drugs were a better route.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
endthestigma !
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
xXerisx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:50:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's OCPD.
Someone downvoted you but I negated it.
:P
kryren ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:00:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. My BFF has (thankfully) mild OCD. She was told to start using a code word, different each day, that means she complied with her compulsion and to stop worrying about it. If she starts to get the compulsion she says her word of the day. Example: Today's word/phrase is 'apple juice'. Yesterday it was 'martini'. Today's word/phrase is different than yesterday so she must have checked the stove, the door, and turned off the light in the kitchen. "But I have to.. no. apple juice." And she's ok and doesn't panic.
I can tell she's having a bad day when I get a random drink name texted to me out of no where. But, I know to text back a bit later in the day "what's your phrase?" just to give her a random prompt to remember she has one today so it's going to be ok.
gomezshamburger ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:34:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yup. at the worst point I started taking pictures of the door locks, the stove being off, etc. just to try and stop myself from getting up to check yet again.
Comowl ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:13:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did that work? I can't imagine it would work for me. Because I fucking KNOW I locked it/turned it off/whatever. I KNOW I did. But some part of my brain is screaming at me that I didn't and my dog is going to get out of the door, or someone will walk in, or my house will burn down. That's an interesting way to try and convince yourself that you did it. So I'm curious if it works for you.
gomezshamburger ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:40:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It definitely helped, but no, I didn't fully get rid of that fear. You have to combine it with forcing yourself to just try and get through the worry and let your house burn down or the dog escape. It's like you know you locked it, and now you have some sort of evidence that you did when your brain insists you didn't. And unfortunately it doesn't do anything for turning the lights on and off a certain number of times with each hand, checking the room in a specific order, and kissing your dog 32 times in a specific pattern.
Suduki ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:01:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Compulsive Behaviour != OCD. People should learn the difference.
Ac3oSpades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is actually bothering me, there are many forms to OCD. Like intrusive thoughts, nobody cares to do their own research. All these Reddit white knights talking about OCD like they know anything about it. Shits patronizing.
The_God_Father ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:37:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comment really hit home for me. Not being able to sleep because I was too busy staring at a section of my wall, blinking a random amount of times that felt right to me just so I could close my eyes. Then almost immediately after feeling uneasy for no reason and having to do it all over again. Standing at my bedside table for hours placing my phone down and picking it up and putting it back down, all to start the wall staring bullshit again.
It took me years to manage my OCD, and I'm in a much better place now. I know the people that think they are OCD because they like to be neat might not know what it really means to be like this but it takes everything in me not to correct them when they say that.
mfisch4 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:42:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be really bad with door locks, light switches, and windows. Countless nights spent checking and re-checking. Flipping the light switch a set number of times, and if I went over, I'd have to start again. Being in bed, knowing I did all the checking, only to doubt myself, or worse, hear a noise, and have to go through it all over again. I'm better now, I usually only check everything once before bed, never more than twice, and I don't flip switches unless needed. I still do tucking in and goodnights in a certain order with my kids, but that's more habit than compulsion.
angrycoffeeuser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok can someone explain this to me, because this sounds very familiar. I sometimes check my alarm clock like 10 times in a row. I see it says the alarm will ring after 6 hours and i still think something is wrong. Or i keep checking for mail from my boss and i don't see any. Or i am just SURE i will get fired for no reason. Am i just having plain ol' casual paranoia or is it something else?
SirChasm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:44:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you find it's having a serious negative effect on your life, go see a professional.
Lemawnjello ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm definitely not OCD, and I have no idea how bad it can get, but I definitely have that "I have to double-triple....maybe quadruple check to see if the door is locked before I leave the house" thing. It's mildly inconvenient for me, but I could see how it could get infuriating. One thing that help me out a bunch was, after locking my door, hold onto the locked doorknob and do something random. Bust out a dance move, bite your finger, shake your head violently. Whenever I get that "oh god, did I lock my door?!" moment later I remember "oh yeah, I did, because my finger still has a tooth mark in it."
smegma_toast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good God that hit close to home. I was diagnosed with OCD two years ago but had it for over a decade.
It's bullshit how people say "im OCD lol". And then the same people who claim they have OCD humiliate people that were actually diagnosed with OCD. The problem comes not from using the term wrong, since a lot of people try justifying misusing the word by saying things like "but we use words like 'lame' and 'moron' wrong". Misusing the word OCD by itself may not be that bad, but since having OCD or any other mental illness is still socially unacceptable and there are sanctions for people who have OCD, it's not fair for those who have OCD.
slade357 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh maybe I do have ocd then. I do something pretty exactly like that but with my alarm and checking the locked door. Then I also do this weird thing where if I touch something on one side of my body I have to do the same to the other side in exactly in the same spot and if I miss slightly I have to keep trying till I get it right. Then I have to make up for all the places I hit when I missed on the other side. Anyway it just looks like me trying to tap some awkward part of my body against something for a few minutes until someone calls me out.
Yuddis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did not even know this, however I FUCKING HATE when people say they have OCD when they obviously do not
_TheBgrey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sister used to take 5 pictures of every door lock on the house, every closed window, and 5 of the oven to make sure it was locked, every night. When I was younger I never understood why and thought she was just being weird/silly. In fact she didn't even know why she did it really until she saw a doctor about it and was diagnosed.
degistered_remocrat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It sucks to be depressed and people are always saying how something "made them depressed." Really? Titanic made you want to lay in bed even though it's a beautiful day out? Or having No motivation to do anything, even eat because you just can't seem to want to survive anymore. Fuck you it's called being sad. Stop being over dramatic
weinerish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like someones got a case of the OCD's
Derangedcorgi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just say I'm anal about X. :/
flacciddick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can we add "this" to the list.
Exactly this
So much this
CoutolencRoad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When it's the only thing said, with no actual content added? Absolutely. Man, now you're making me cringe at my own wording.
qft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just curious, what word would you substitute that would be appropriate and get their point across in a lighthearted way?
cakeisgreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh it's just like people calling each other retarded or using literally wrong. Eventually it's going to have a second meaning of "someone who's particular with their things"
Bergauk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OCD can be a lot of things to be honest. It's a pretty wide spectrum.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reading that; I may have a hint of OCD after all. Not something I didnt expect. It often comes as a nice extra with Asperger's.
Beer_N_Bullets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of people who forget something once and respond "ugh I'm so ADD today"...... No you're fucking aren't. You forgot, that's all. You didn't lose your wallet 9 times in 1 week. You haven't had to have a system for every little thing in your life just to not lose your job. You don't have 90 different new project or hobbies that are 30% complete. You just forgot and are taking a word you heard once and are using it to describe yourself incorrectly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... holy shit. That sounds like me back in middleschool/ early highschool. I still get anxious sometimes and have those thoughts but they are manageable. Had no idea that was what OCD is...
Note. I'm not diagnosing myself just surprised that that was what OCD is actually like.
VAPossum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OCD is having your brain decide everyday objects are incredible threats and amazingly disgusting. OCD is having your brain replay those things over and over and over and over for you, whether you like it or not. OCD is having to avoid things you used to love because the OCD is in charge.
OCD is not "I have to make my bed every morning." (Unless you're convinced Moscow will explode if you don't.)
nickyardo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have OCD. My mom said that when I was a kid I hid all the knives under furniture and stuff because apparently I was worried about someone getting hurt. I have no memory of this, but it bothers me to think about
LittleDinghy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin has OCD and this describes him perfectly. His condition manifests most often when he gives someone instructions. For example, one time he and I were adding on to the deck at his mom's house. When we finished building it we were going to paint the whole thing so it would look the same. I must have gotten five different calls and fifteen text messages between the time I left for Lowes to pick up the paint and the time I got back (about 20 minutes total). Every one said, "Make sure you get this exact color of paint."
And when he gives directions in a car, he gets all worked up. You have to make sure you say things like, "So I turn left at Main St, right" or "I need to turn right in two blocks, right?" All the time to keep him relaxed.
I respect his girlfriend a ton because she has infinite patience and knows how to relax him as much as she can while enduring the stuff that he can't help but get stressed about.
TypoHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What your describing on the first line is more like OCPD, my wife has that and while it's not OCD it shares many of the symptoms. It's still terrible but I wouldn't want to wish OCD on anyone. So people need to stop using it lightly.
audiguy7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also when people say "so much fucking this".
stickers-motivate-me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just like when people say "haha, I'm so ADD" ADD is not feeling hyper for a few minutes. It's being late to work every day, and getting fired for it, and then having it happen at the next job, too, because you can't get out of the house without forgetting 50 things. You lose your keys several times a day. You're constantly pissing everyone off because you are always late. Your house is messy as fuck, and you spend 3 hours cleaning it, and it looks pretty much the same as when you started, somehow. You interrupt people, even your boss, without realizing it, and then feel like shit when you do realize it. Your kids suffer because you forget to bring them to their sports physical, dentists appointments, and forget to sign them up for soccer and they miss the tryouts. You forget to pick them up at school because you didn't realize you were at trader joes for 2hours, and the front office has been calling you for a half hour to come get them, but you couldn't hear them because you forgot your phone on the kitchen counter. You get reamed out by the office staff because this has happened several times before. It's fucking humiliating. So, yeah, I can relate. I hear people say the" I'm soooo OCD/ADD" thing all the time. People that say have no clue how awful these things can be.
cornmealius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also saying things like "so much fucking this" makes you look twelve years old
CoutolencRoad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sigh
Yes, I'm aware. I used an annoying phrase. Can people stop harping on it now?
thesorehead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm paraphrasing here, but a thought experiment that really made sense to me and got me to stop making light of OCD:
(1) Take a piece of paper and write down the name of everyone you love and care about. Your Mum and Dad, your brothers and sisters, your best friend, your pets. Your 10 closest and most dear.
(2) Then turn the paper over and write down very clearly "I want all of these people to die right now".
Unless you're a psychopath, you will feel uneasy with step 2. You might not even do it. You know it's silly, and your rational mind is correct when it reminds you that writing something on a piece of paper doesn't make things happen. But you still feel a compulsion to not write those words. Maybe you'd write something else instead, or just put the pencil down. Maybe you'll overcome the compulsion and complete the task. But the compulsion is there.
That feeling, that conflict between your rational mind and your emotional state, is somewhat akin to what someone with OCD feels. The key differences are that (1) the feeling is 100x stronger, sometimes causing panic or paralysis because it just feels like a life-and-death situation; and (2) the feeling is triggered by mundane things like a door lock or stepping on a crack in the footpath.
It's pretty awful.
OhMehDamn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone that says they have something without a legitimate diagnosis can fuck off. You think there's a possibility you have something? Okay, cool. Say you believe you might have something and go get it checked out. Don't run around saying you have something when you most likely don't because it causes conflict with what people think of you and of the illness. It's extremely frustrating for us that do have disabilities of all kinds and not enough people realize that.
K3R3G3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's got to be on the list somewhere.
AWildAnonHasAppeared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are different types of OCD, with different levels of severeness. I have been diagnosed with OCD and I like everything to be neat and tidy, but assholes on the internet always get butthurt and say "YOU DONT HAVE OCD IF YOU ONLY WANT THINGS TO BE NEAT" every time I mention that.
CoutolencRoad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry that you wind up as collateral in all this. The "neatness" stereotype of OCD exists for a reason - it CAN be a symptom. It just often isn't, and when it is, it's more than just being slightly annoyed that the covers of two books don't line up or something. When people rage at people not having OCD, they're talking about people who clearly, clearly don't and are using the term to describe trivial things without knowing how debilitating a disorder it can be.
AWildAnonHasAppeared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats the thing. I have OCD and it only falls within the neatness category. I get more annoyed by people who tell me i dont have OCD like its a fact, thwn people comparing their tidyness to people with ocd (which is exactly what i am)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the light-switch thing. It's always mentioned when someone on reddit says "OCD."
BettiePhage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have OCD, but the most frustrating thing for me is when I try to describe it to my family and they all go "oh lol that's just normal!!" And discredit me and my experience.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have OCD. Thank you for getting that it's not some cute explanation for daft behavior.
BitchesLoveCoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. Yes.
SeparateCzechs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have one sister and had one brother with OCD. Thank you for your comment.
F3AR3DLEGEND ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think that I had OCD (still do sometimes) because I kind of do some of things listed there - repeatedly checking the front door even though I know it's locked, checking that everything is in my backpack even though I know nothing will have moved (I usually end up checking 3 times in a row, trying to cut that down), or making sure the lights are off.
I mostly just diagnose it as paranoia to myself, though.
tryagain420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES! I dated a guy with OCD for a short while. He had to count every stair on the staircase before he could walk up. Until you have to stop at every single flight of stairs to count it (or something eually as life fuckery duckery) you don't fucking know and you shouldn't say shit.
We broke up because he didn't like the pattern of a dress I bought. Life is not easy on these people.
I_want_hard_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a child I had to get into my bed from the left side. If any part of my body touched the right side edge I had to get out and get in from the left side again. There was also a compulsion to wind a pocketwatch. This made for some frustrating nights for years. I'm not sure if OCD can be temporary or stress induced but it was such a weird set of "rules" thats what it seemed like.
CoutolencRoad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People often have compulsive behaviors or tendencies that, while irrational and intrusive, either don't last, don't have a strong enough feeling to require they be done, or just don't negatively impact their daily life.
I wash my face six to ten times a day, sometimes many more. I sometimes feel weird and unclean if I'm not able to, sometimes quite strongly, but I just deal with it and the feeling fades after a while. OCD? Nope. Compulsive tendency? Yep.
Sinquo_mama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are many degrees of OCD and the one you describe is extreme. OCD manifests itself in many different ways, so just because you don't think someone has it or had it bad doesn't mean they don't .
-Acetylene- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called hyperbole. Like saying something makes you want to lull yourself.
PseudoEntertainment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, you know I didn't fully understand when my psychologist said I had slight OCD (I go mainly for anxiety issues) but I do some of these things, although I have gotten better. I guess what I'm trying to say is thanks for sharing that cause now that i understand it, I can do what I do with my anxiety, which is accept that I have it and try to improve upon it more.
LicklePickle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read this wrong at first, and felt guilty about thinking I have mild OCD because I cannot go to bed without checking every door and outlet (even when my partner has already checked them) and having to pee even though I literally just went 2 minutes ago. But then I read it properly. I've never officially been diagnosed but it's an urge I can't fight. It doesn't interfere with my daily life (aside from going to bed 30 minutes late) so I'm not worried at the moment.
crybannanna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure OCD is whenever obsession and compulsion negatively affects your life.
You don't have to be the stereotypical hand wash bleeder, or whatever the movies tell you. It could be a lesser degree like checking your alarm clock 15 times before being able to sleep. You are obsessed with something irrationally, and feel a compulsion to perform an action regarding it.
It's a disorder... Like all disorders there is a spectrum of severity.
Dathan88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:54 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm diagnosed with OCD, but I never knew anyone had it this bad. Then again, I take anti-anxiety meds for my chronic anxiety, so I guess that helps with it. I feel sorry for anyone who has it that bad.
CuloMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I learned about OCD in an issue of Sports Illustrates. Former Lakers and Cavaliers head Coach Larry Brown would wash his hands a crazy amount of times among other habits.
Comowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, you just described a basic night for me. Well, at least with the lock-checking and making sure absolutely nothing can fall on my dog and/or he can't eat anything that will kill him. God it's fucking exhausting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES YES YES
I NEED to have the "right" thing from any box (Fruit snacks/granola bars/etc) or it will taste terrible, and I need the SMALL fork or I won't feel right eating.
Bladelink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ahhhh, I love using flippant remarks to belittle others' life-crippling, untreatable neurological conditions."
Kyddeath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having to turn the light off with your left hand while finishing exhaling otherwise something bad will happen..... a friend told me that
Frostguard11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit. I've honestly never thought of it before, I really should stop saying it.
ssovm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:44:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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jswan28 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:37:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the major difference between OCD and your examples is that people almost never claim any of those afflictions. People say they have OCD all the time when they really don't. Flippantly claiming to have OCD when you like for your pencils to be in a straight line makes light of how terrible and debilitating OCD really is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First of all, OCD didn't become "more sacred." Nobody should be using mental disorders lightly, in my opinion anyway. But OCD is unique in two ways:
1) Thanks to the casual use of "I'm sooo OCD," nobody takes OCD seriously.
People know that bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, insanity, etc. are all legitimate, serious, and hurtful conditions. People do not appear to understand the same thing about OCD. I would say bipolar disorder is the disorder that faces this the most along with OCD, but I still think OCD is worse about this. There are thousands of people who genuinely think they have OCD because they like their pencils straight. They have no idea what the disorder actually is, and when they hear people say they have it, they automatically tack on, "Oh me too!" without taking a minute to consider that what they think is OCD is not even close to actual OCD. Which brings me to my next point...
2) There's a fucking word for what you mean. Why do people feel the need to use "OCD" when the phrase "anal-retentive" is what you're looking for? You have no need to make light of a disorder when there's already a word for the feeling you're trying to describe. It's just linguistic laziness.
Just because we integrated other disorders into our common vernacular does not mean we need to CONTINUE to do it. Whenever people try to say that OCD isn't the only disorder treated this way, I have to ask, why does that mean we should allow it? If anything, we should be fighting to stop this from continuing in the future so we can become a better educated society. Our flippant attitude towards mental health is running us into the ground.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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sixheadedbacon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:05:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my god, I'm so ADD."
No you aren't. And it's not something to be proud about, real ADD fucking sucks and has been destroying my life.
HiDDENk00l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I hate when people describe something fast paced as being targeted toward people with ADD. Most of us aren't like jumpy little kids.
Redditky ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:57:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's my add kicking in...
bryantgoalie ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:34:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "im so OCD lol". No motherfucker! You cannot be a mental disorder. You can have a mental disorder, but im sure you most certainly do not.
Ac3oSpades ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is just phrasing because some people do say they are OCD or that they are bipolar. Some people say they are some say they have.
bryantgoalie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:20:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can understand that but for me it just irks me. I feel like no one should define themselves by any sort of disorder/disease they have, mental or physical. And mostly it bothers me because it's the people who do not have these disorders who say it.
Ac3oSpades ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:36:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well there are plenty of people who have bipolar disorder that say that they ARE bipolar. For some they view it as big part of them (which it is) that will never go away so they say that they are. Another way of seeing it as a physical disorder, when someone says they are paraplegic you don't think of them saying that they suffer from paraplegia. No one should have to define them as a disorder but some embrace it because of how much it effects their lives.
Anyways its a bit of rant, and I totally understand the sentiment and I definitely agree on being bothered by people who claim they have it but don't. It belittles the disorder because they are seen as so normal and when you have people who actually have it they are seen as people who can't control themselves.
Well that is the end of my rant.
bryantgoalie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Totally fair point, and i think part of it for me, as silly as i think it may seem to others, is the grammer in it. When someone says they are OCD all i can hear is someone saying, i am obsessive compulsive disorder. It is completely grammatically incorrect and makes me cringe. And again i hate labels like that. I didn't tell many of the people i know about having some issues of my own because i didnt want to be labeled and i hate hearing it. And i totally get acknowledging and embracing it as a part of who you are and what makes you the person you are. I just don't like hearing it said as a simple label of what someone is because it in no way is. Sorry for my own rant.
Ac3oSpades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it really depends on what it is, cause I don't break down the acronym so "I am OCD" sounds fine and "I am bipolar" is common place, however imagine if people said "I am depression" or "I am dementia", grammatically it makes no sense but it sounds fine so people say it.
On the other not I am in the same boat, nobody knows about my issues. I don't want a label either because 1 of 2 things will happen in my eyes, either people think I am lying and doing it for attention or that I am a freak or dangerous or something like that.
bryantgoalie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I didnt want to be thought of differently by my teammates or friends so i kept those things about me a secret. Thankfully for me it had to become known within my circle and forced me to get help. It really did make life better for me.
Ac3oSpades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is awesome man, I hope it continues to get better for you.
Vorticity ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:06:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone with ADD, this drives me nuts! "oh, I'm so ADD" or "I'm being so ADD right now."
It bothers me for two reasons, though. First, no, you aren't a mental disorder. Second, you don't have ADD, you don't know what it's like, don't trivialize something that is real. Yes, it is over diagnosed, but it is a real thing and it sucks.
\rant
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:13:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also the "opposite" of this:
1: "I have OCD."
2: "That's not so bad."
Very simplified version, but this happens to a few people I know. An acquaintance, or maybe the boss, will find out they have OCD and just treat it like they're a neat person, completely downplaying the seriousness of the disease and not taking it as a reason for an event (not going to work, working slower than others, or not being able to leave the house for a social event).
That shit bothers me more than the above, but they're both pretty fucking bad.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:49:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ZanderDogz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, ocd can make life incredibly difficult for some people
deadlymoogle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:03:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
guy at work said that while standing next to me and i replied "oh when were you diagnosed?" and he said that you don't need to be diagnosed, OCD is just when you want everything to be clean. o.O
ILikeBigBeards ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:33:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh christ I wish I hadn't read this comment. .... /sob
nubsauce87 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:22:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... far too many people like to label themselves with serious conditions and make it a kinda "quirk" about themselves. Like a guy I know claims to have OCD. He doesn't, he just likes things a certain way. He won't have a mental breakdown if I move his cup to the other side of his desk. He doesn't turn the light switch to "off" 37 times when he leaves the room.
The one that really gets me though is when people say they're insomniacs. Mostly because I actually AM an insomniac. I sleep less than 2 hours every day on average, and so far have had no luck solving it, even with professional medical help. It's hell. Absolute hell. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Liking to stay up late is NOT INSOMNIA.
edit: massive grammar fails
Ac3oSpades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he has intrusive thoughts? Not all OCD is the same.
TheTamrielTerror ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm OCPD like that.
ZenDragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only learned the term OCD from everybody calling me that.
darcys_beard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has migrated to "I have psychopathic tendencies". Um, no, you don't; you're just a jaded cunt.
otherhand42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, anyone who uses "autism" as a general-purpose slur.
hwarming ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just stab them and say "I'm sociopathic like that"
Niallio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha this is the best response i have ever gotten on reddit!
i_hate_the_eagles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hah my dad was actually OCD-Narcissistic. people don't actually know what OCD means until they live with someone who has it. TRUST.
moldyhole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mental health nurse this pisses me off to no end. We don't say we have full blown AIDS when we just have a cold. Why the fuck is it okay to trivialize a debilitating disorder?
GroovingPict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDju-c12QS8&t=7m13s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDju-c12QS8&t=10m5s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDju-c12QS8&t=18m51s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDju-c12QS8&t=24m57s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDju-c12QS8&t=35m11s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDju-c12QS8&t=48m58s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDju-c12QS8&t=51m10s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDju-c12QS8&t=55m22s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDju-c12QS8&t=1h4m11s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDju-c12QS8&t=1h16m07s
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm depressed because (insert minor mishap)!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's caused by my ADHD
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I mention that I have OCD, I feel the need to mention that I have actually been diagnosed with it so people don't think I'm throwing the term around.
nickcarter13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just my OCD.
ParadoxPixie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my lord, I cannot tell you how many times I've had to explain to people that OCD can potentially ruin the lives of those afflicted if not treated. You like to have a very tidy desk? Big fucking whoop, try obsessively washing your hands under scalding water until your hands are blistered and bloody. That's OCD. Not straightened pencils, not aligned desks. It's booping the wall 147 times until you 'Get it right,' even though it's 2 am and you want to go to bed.
avenlanzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look, if you were really that OCD you couldn't even say what you are. Obsessive compulsive disorder? The word disorder has no place in this disease, its a Condition of Compulsive Orderliness, or CCO. And therefore the letters are even in the proper order like they should be.
overfloaterx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but unfortunately the less medically-inaccurate term would be "anal retentive", which is a little less PC.
So I fully admit to having occasionally used "OCD" more liberally than its strict definition, as an alternative to declaring "I'M ANAL" to the room.
birdhustler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sidebar for a second.
I actually have generalized anxiety disorder and HAVE to take my prescription daily or else I have perpetual anxiety attacks. Yet I still say shit like "I'm just neurotic like that" because I think that talking openly about one's disorders will help decrease the stigma.
And for anyone else, please let's not turn this into a pissing contest about who's more mentally fucked up.
mixed-metaphor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm depressed". Just feeling sad about normal life events isn't in any way depression. Actual clinical depression isn't about feeling sad that your boyfriend is being an arse, or falling out with your friends and feeling miserable. It's a proper chemical imbalance in your brain that you can't control and generally fucks your life up until you get help.
I get so fucking irritated with people using 'depression' as an interchangeable term for being a bit miserable about life.
SuperStingray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Remember how hard that boss fight was? Totally gave me PTSD."
Petal_Phile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone says they're a tad OCD or whatever variation, I always say, "Oh, do you wash your hands 100 times a day because they smell like your mother too?"
LovesFLSun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you mean CDO?
Kareus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
agreed.. They do it on TV now too.. uhg, having obesssive compulsive traits does not mean you have OCD.
viridesco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm severely autistic like that."
slovenry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh really? You have intrusive thoughts about fucking dogs too? NEW BEST FRIEEEEND!!!
Arkansan13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who struggles with actual OCD, diagnosed and everything, this pisses me off to know end. Particularly when it's family saying "you know what it's like", yeah I do but you don't. Talk to me when you spend 20 minutes pacing back and forth between your front and back doors locking and relocking them.
Avatar_Yung-Thug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so ADHD sometimes.
Fuck off. Being unable to sit still is excruciating
SnowJoust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "I tried to (insert task) but my ADHD kicked in!".
ADHD is the real deal and my life was a trainwreck before I got treatment.
iam2godly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just curious if someone were to be on the spectrum, or actually diagnosed with OCD, or ADD or something like that, wouldn't it not be right to hate them because that is a part of who they are? I mean I don't "flaunt" it but I have adult ADD and my therapist can see I have had some other developmental problems potentially stemming from my mom as she was very sick having me, she almost died after I was born and I had breathing problems as a child as my dad was a big smoker, which is believed to have delayed my brains development in some ways. I understand you care about political correctness or you wouldn't bring up this point, but as someone who knows what it means to struggle with it, sometimes the jokes are a relief to me, does that mean you'll dislike me too?
Comma20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My answer is "No, you have obsessions and compulsions, but it's not a disorder. Yet. I hope it never becomes a disorder."
AnneBancroftsGhost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stop it, you're just anal.
platypus_dogdoor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No you are not. You ignorant slut. It's called having a preference. If you were actually OCD you wouldn't treat the situation so fucking lightly. I really hate that shit.
Notacatmeow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or anti social people who have self diagnosed Aspergers or autism.
Troggie42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's cuz nobody knows what anal-retentive means.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So much yes. Girlfriend of 2 years is actually diagnosed with OCD and the shit that comes with that is so tough for her to deal with sometimes, and can really break her down of she cannot get it the exact way it needs to happen. I rip on people who say stupid shit like this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit users are sooo OCD about this
Isord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can somebody explain to me why this is any different than saying "I'm starving"?
SoggyLiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's what we in the business call, 'the OC disorder'"
BLBvault92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a hotel and we had a guest there who had her small dog with her (we allow pets for a fee) who she WOULD NOT STOP LETTING IT LICK HER MOUTH. It was the most disgusting thing. She kept going on and on "oh he's my baby, he's my world!" While this make out session happened. Afterwards she demanded some cleaning supplies since her room would not be provided housekeeping during her stay (under 8 days no house keeping at this hotel) We couldn't let her for safety bull shit reasons and she flipped out. "omg no I'm OCD for real and need to clean my room, can't do dirt, I'm legit OCD I need those cleaning supplies I need some comet I'm for real OCD."
As the dog. Was licking. Her face.
Fuck off.
G8kpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love my wife, but a couple weeks ago, she said "We're all a little OCD"
I said "NO... no we're not."
she started to say again "well, we are a little bit..."
I stopped her and said "being overly neat, or anal about something does not make you OCD, wanting things in a specific place does not make you OCD, if those items are in the wrong place, it does not suddenly cripple your daily life. OCD is a condition, you do not have it"
she didn't continue, and I'm not sure if she realised she was wrong, or just didn't want to argue.
caneras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OCD should not just be synonymous with organized. It's infuriating. The same goes for saying using depressed interchangeably with sad. Yes people with OCD can be organized and depressed people are often sad, but it's like how not every rectangle is a square.
Geekfest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Technically it is OCPD, and no, you're not."
Cpapa97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this one so much xD especially considering I'm actually OCD. I hear it all the time, and usually I can tell they're convinced themselves that they're OCD about something to justify them being domineering assholes and forcing others to abide by something they're particular picky about. Like they don't know the true horror of OCD xD
Although a lot of people do it at one point or another so it's not that big of a deal I guess xD
speckleeyed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's CDO dammit!
Alphabetical order...were you schooled in a barn!?!
imonsterFTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This annoys me so much. I know people with OCD. Just because you don't like your desk messy or your book is crooked doesn't mean you have OCD. My friend can't go to sleep before he locks and unlocks all the doors in his house twice. He can't help but do it. He has OCD.
nuzzget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. I hate when people through that around. At least research OCD and have it make sense.
Bman8444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has a dad who is actually diagnosed with OCD and Bi-polar disorder, I fucking loath people who say this shit. They have no idea that their little pet peeves and mood swings don't equate to the actual struggle of people who have these disorders.
AngelRaygun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear versions of this all the freaking time... "That's just my OCD kicking in".
NO. NO IT ISN'T. You don't have OCD, motherfucker.
Macfrogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not until you've repeatedly washed your hands until they bled, you're not. Or were an hour late for work because every time you locked your door to leave your house, it "just wasn't right" so you had to unlock it and lock it again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this one specifically because the syntax is wrong. OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Saying "I'm so OCD" is like saying "I'm so depression" or "I'm so flu".
Also, because no you are not, you are just tidy.
QSquared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe they mean draconian or anal-retentive when most people say this.
tryagain420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking to a beautiful human being the other day and in my head I was thinking "this is the moment I've been waiting for, my whole life I asked the world to give me someone who was funny, smart, witty, on my wavelength who can make me happy and I though the world was fucking me with, but look at this universe, you sneaky bastard you, I gave up on the idea and that's the moment you make me drop the piece of paper in my pocket so this magnificent creature who was made just for me would pick it up, tap me on the shoulder and pass it to me and you made us walk in the same direction so we had to talk, I didn't ask for them to be beautiful but they are and I didn't ask for them to sound like an angel but they do and here we are, we just so happen to be waiting in the same line together, this long line, I never thought I would fall in love but here I am on today of all days, I found my match, he's mine, this is love at first sight"
Then when we got to the front of this line I took a pump of the hand sanitizer on the wall when he said "Oh I should use that too, I'm so OCD like that, hey we should go for a coffee after we're done at the counter"
And I said, "actually, I'm busy" and went home and cried myself to sleep.
Superdude234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always say "I'm retarded like that" as a joke, which is absolutely worse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My OCPD is making me tell you that you mean OCPD
belle-nocturne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually have ocd and it bothers me when people act proud of their "ocd tendencies" or whatever. I would give my right arm to not have to deal with this illness.
Bonolio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are not OCD, you are just fucking anal retentive.
Aipre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer to say that I'm CDO. Honestly, it irks me seeing the letters not in alphabetical order.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have ADHD and OCD"
It's physically impossible to have both. You're not special. I'm glad you self diagnosed yourself.
Otopython ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A girl once told me that she "was so Tourettes". I wanted to tell her to go fuck herself, but that's not one of my tics.
Kaliedo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, I know! Yesterday, I slept in until noon! I'm SUCH a leukimia patient, amirite guise?
.../s, just in case
JimiEnt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dittokiddo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a grocery store cashiering and bagging groceries and omg so many customers who put their food on the belt orderly have to comment about how they're "ocd" about it.... So you put your cold stuff together and produce with with other produce? That doesn't make you ocd bro, its just common sense!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:01 on August 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit having ocd and hearing people say that pisses me off to the moon and back
Thewy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, we got it the first hundred times someone ever complained about that phrase. Your quota's been filled for the lifetime.
Seameese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God yes.
However this goes both ways.
I actually have OCD. The amount of times people have assumed I'm doing this because I'm not acting like Monk or walking around with tissue boxes on my feet is even more offensive than someone saying that.
VikingTeddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a really good poem about th...
Eh. Fuck it. We've all read it because its the default answer to this. Good poem though.
APiousCultist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That complaint always silently amuses me since it is "OCD people being OCD about people saying OCD" within the context of the usage. I've also always interpretted it as deliberate hyperbole like when people say "I'm a moron" they don't literally mean they have the IQ of a 12 year old, or "I'm going crazy", "I'm gonna murder someone".
For people with OCD, I understand your annoyance. But the use always seems relatively legitimate to me.
AverageJane09 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:58:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been diagnosed with OCD. My mom will periodically talk about how my sister is "sOoOOo OCD" because she likes to stick to a schedule. No mom, me crying and washing my hands repeatedly because I'm terrified of getting sick is soOoOoO much more OCD than that.
ZanderDogz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:37:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially people who nothing about actual, diagnosed medical OCD
Gixxerz600 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:54:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of the worst ones.
smpl-jax ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:42:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm serially rapey like that, lol my b
trublood ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:21:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I hate this. My husband's cousin says this a lot on Facebook, usually accompanied by a picture of a well-organized shelf or something. I always want to say something, because it trivializes what I go through every day (I have the compulsions without the obsessions, so not quite OCD, but still very annoying). Being organized isn't the same as having to blink an even number of times when looking at something you like and an odd number of times when looking at something you don't like, dammit!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:30:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What I say is "I just have really bad OCD". Is that okay?
R1_TC ยท 6615 points ยท Posted at 15:16:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so random!"
StealthNL ยท 3182 points ยท Posted at 16:13:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm random too.
375016472919472018420582748195727493017563756669491749444820572759493578839482571011000482743929572848492058471010485483837762944858596033938597080805382711524254759034859694632264959693649397534875484994747474649204443928224944267385967005696067705
nut_butter_420 ยท 5638 points ยท Posted at 17:02:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you, no you're not, there's no way to verify those numbers were generated truly or even pseudo-randomly. Fuck right off with this integer bullshit.
2Punx2Furious ยท 2219 points ยท Posted at 17:13:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
There's no way to verify anything at all being random. For all we know, the universe is deterministic and everything just obeys the laws of physics and acts exactly as it should in their context.
Edit: I am wrong.
SyKoHPaTh ยท 2758 points ยท Posted at 17:28:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alethiometer_AMA ยท 475 points ยท Posted at 18:11:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chosen by fair dice roll.
caelum19 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 23:22:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was the one that made me full in love with xkcd.
danubian1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:29:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you've emptied by now
ThisBasterd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:13:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't mention xkcd and not link it.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:06:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://xkcd.com/221/
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:51:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just so you know, you've now created 6 different timelines.
Alethiometer_AMA ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:17:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Put 'em with the rest.
i_ANAL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:55:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there such a thing as a fair dice other than in a maths or physics text book?
Omnipotent_Entity ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:29:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The die will always have a predictable outcome based on shape, texture, the surface you roll them on, the position they start in, wind, air quality, etc. The best thing to do is have an evenly weighted set and toss it across the room as hard as you can. If there is a person across the room and you nail them in the forehead with the roll you get an automatic crit. true story.
VefoCo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:15:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guaranteed to be random.
GGritzley ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have we gone from liking to relevant xkcds to just fully quoting them? The circlejerk is strong.
zodar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:14:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man that n cost a lot in comprehensibility
GGritzley ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not even going to edit that.
kinkyaboutjewelry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guaranteed random. Rolled the die myself.
jpull13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:41 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Provably fair.
SirensToGo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:41:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who said the die can't be all fours?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:16:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Alethiometer_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So many memories
Alethiometer_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:20 on September 7, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What was this about?
roumenguha ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 18:01:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Why are you passing it a parameter at all if what you get out is meant to be random?
SyKoHPaTh ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 18:19:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Make it "feel" like it's being seeded I guess? Couldn't remember the XKCD and too lazy enough to care haha
rileyrulesu ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 23:07:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He rolled a dice, and got a 4. Thus the program always returns 4 because it was random.
theyeti19 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:31:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For whatever reason your post has made me realize I've been reading xkcd as xkd all these years. I mean I knew it was always 4 letters and contained a c, I just never said it properly in my brain.
AnneBancroftsGhost ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:08:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alethiometer_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rule 20 something of the internet, if you post any code or math, someone will correct it.
AnneBancroftsGhost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have to remember that when I get to differential equations.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:27:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
klaus_the_fish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unnecessary with the & I though.
XAleXOwnZX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, did you mean for this to be c++? Then yeah, the dereference is implicit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's very obviously C++.
XAleXOwnZX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's reference syntax, totally mistook it for pointer syntax in regular C.
Arch! :(
SirCatMaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its almost like you don't get the joke
roumenguha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, sorry, I'm infamous for not understanding jokes and sarcasm
shitbo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:20:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's supposed to return a random integer from 0 to x-1. Or it could be asking for a seed, but that seems a bit counter-intuitive.
Bratmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you can't prove something isn't random, but I know for a fact that this doesn't work if x is 1,2,3, or 4.
inconspicuous_male ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:03:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because Randal Munroe apparently sucks at documentation
sherre02 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:35:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
EDIT: damnit (when you see it)
SyKoHPaTh ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 18:40:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1) function not found
- 1a) recursive function; are you trying to eat up all my memory?
2) returning something in a void
3) char used as a number? lol
I like you :)
sadistmushroom ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:49:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IrrelevantsGifs ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 21:06:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't actually a recursive function
sadistmushroom ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:53:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was assuming, because of OP's edit, that was a typo.
mloofburrow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dat camel-case doe.
pmmedenver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the language ;)
gngl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tail calls FTW. ;)
sherre02 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:56:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm running it as we speak. I don't see what the problem is
Tannz0rz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is nothing invalid about #3. A byte is a byte.
klaus_the_fish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think its more a case of it not being "proper" than it not being legal.
Like a char means character so it "should" represent a character of text.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC, since char can be either signed or unsigned it's generally better just to use unsigned char or signed char explicitly for numbers and use char strictly for character values.
Tannz0rz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's no "better" or "worse" to it; it's a data type that occupies a byte of space.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's sort of a naive look at it: if you don't know whether the default char type is signed or unsigned, expressions like
can later cause problems. If you're using x as a number rather than a character constant, then later comparisons such as
or even
will differ depending on if char is signed or unsigned. There's a reason that the GNU C reference manual says that you should strictly use the char type for holding ASCII character constants.
Tannz0rz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a given property of signed-ness. Naรฏve is inappropriately handling a block of memory while ignorant of this. Such an occurrence sounds hack-ish in nature.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it's a given property of signed-ness. Wouldn't that imply it would be better design to make your intention explicit by using char for character constants and unsigned/signed char for unsigned/signed byte values?
BewhiskeredWordSmith ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:27:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
How about this?
This will return a random number within the specified range, determined by the maximum depth before we break the stack.
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 19:55:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
BewhiskeredWordSmith ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:57:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck.
gngl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:16:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beginning C(++) programmers... ;)
phenomite1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:55:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A sea of white toddlers.
SexySohail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what does finally do?
BewhiskeredWordSmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
finally runs after the try-catch block whether it succeeded or failed, although in this case it's kind of moot, since the catch block ends execution of the function anyways...
SexySohail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
couldn't you just put whats in the finally block at the end outside all the blocks?
BewhiskeredWordSmith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In this case, absolutely.
However in production code, it's difficult to guarantee that you're going to properly handle every possible error case.
If you know that you will catch and handle every error, then the finally block is superfluous. However, if there is a possibility that you won't catch an exception, the finally block comes into play.
Normally you would put your housekeeping code in the finally block - that way, even if you encounter an error that you can't fix, the housekeeping code still gets run before your exception continues up the stack. This could be things like closing file handles, closing network sockets, freeing memory, etc., that you still want to do, even if something went wrong.
XAleXOwnZX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, see the comment I posted to the guy you replied to
XAleXOwnZX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, finally has a very interesting property that it ALWAYS runs, ever AFTER the method returns.
At some depth in the recursion, there will be insufficient memory free for the next call to rand. This will throw a stack overflow exception, which will be caught and make the method return 0 instead. The finally block runs after the "return 0", and changes the return value.
I think the idea of " return num" was that num would be some sort of indeterminate number after the SO exception, but I suspect it'll most likely also be 0.
lordpsymon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Return statement when the method is specified as void. Naughty naughty.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:27:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chosen by fair dice roll.
2Punx2Furious ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:33:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant XKCD.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:33:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ಠ_ಠ
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What?
colonelgork ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:53:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Linky?
2Punx2Furious ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:54:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://xkcd.com/221/
Dr-Shady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So much humor! making me believe this things getting serious !
DrumZildjian71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Granted it's not C#) ReSharper would have a fucking heyday with this.
nowonmai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's any language, although it looks like a couple.
Swefish_dish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Random random;
public int number = random(1,10);
likesleague ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NOOOOOOOOOOoOooOOoooOOOOoooOOO
kunk180 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But how did you base the seed?
SyKoHPaTh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:12:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I forgot a line:
kunk180 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, random numbers are weird.
SeansGodly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
rekt
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You broke the code
itswhywegame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not even a pseudo random number generator. Do you even x= rand() % 100 + 1; bro?
Bratmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, you're one of those people.
kernunnos77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how that language works, but I have the distinct idea that it works better than the Apple Basic (We were working with Apple 2GS computers) "random" number generator I was taught in 8th grade.
I just remember that if you defined the range as 1000, you'd always get the same results in order when you ran it. If you defined the range as 100, same thing - but different numbers from the 1000-range.
I made a "3 number lottery" for some kind of project and the teacher thought it was great. I fucking hated it because I had a page of what numbers would "win" given how many times it had run. I should've sold tickets to the other gullible students.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the Sony ps3 programmer
Henrysugar2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the thing about randomness; you never know for sure.
mavvv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
u dropped a 2
S0PH0S ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Line 2: // chosen by fair dice roll, guaranteed to be random.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You left out the comment. ;chosen by fair dice roll. guaranteed to be random
jillyboooty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me irl
redditpierce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it came back with 42....
jaredjeya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
//chosen by dice roll //guaranteed to be random
aqf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
int randomNumber() {
return "im so random lol!";
}
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
42*
Pro_Scrub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
4 is the standard IEEE-vetted random number
thisisalili ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what's the input argument for? a seed?
IMicrowaveTridents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Puts in 10, huh 4
Puts in 413, 4
Puts in 1313, 4
Must be random
RossTheColonel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
XKCD
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pack it up and shut 'er down, Reddit is over.
Persimoirre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can never be sure.
the_ICEE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
return 42 //the answer to life, the universe, and everything
kpkrishnamoorthy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that'll work only once.
orbitstarr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
// I mentally rolled a die and got this number
DejahView ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that was random.
melodamyte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love that it even takes an argument
Phantom_Desperado ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you pass a number into that?!
Super_Manic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to divide by random.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why the parameter? Just do:
I'm sorry, my job has permanently engrained the instinct to proofread code into my brain. I can't help it, I've got a problem.
theveldt01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
toonytoon180 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah but physics... Or something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was that PS3 code, right?
lagninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The number 4 was chosen at random.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What did you seed this with?...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you even throw code bro?
mrsportacus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
function check_for_solution() { //TODO return false; }
LexanderX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.xkcd.com/221/
influenza06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, put the first bracket on the next line! This is the kind of programming that makes me instantly dislike a fellow developer.
jseego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh, bring on the pseudorandom police
chiminage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now that IS random
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad I can understand things like this now
jaxxon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
random.org
djwm12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
is this really random though? I forgot what my java teacher told me but it was something about this method or instruction not actually being random
SubaruImpossibru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That int x is super useful.
_john_at_the_bar_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Source: xkcd
QSquared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Psshh:
Windows: Echo.%random%
'nix: echo $random
Both are psuedo random, as is your c; but, mine took less code and doesn't need an interpreter
The_Number_None ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It says random in the method declaration...yup random enough for me.
Jambi95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's so random it can only produce the number 4!
midnightketoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually just googled this and before someone walks me through why I'm wrong, here's a link I found describing step by step (with java) how to run a Monte Carlo Pi simulation to test randomness using laws of geometry to measure many points in a unit circle. Method primarily used to calculate the value of pi, apparently. I do keep compiling 4...
kuilin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
//chosen by fair dice roll. guaranteed to be random.
venustrapsflies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Warning: unused variable 'x'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Return type...and then function definition keyword? WHAT IS THIS BLACK MAGIC?
son_of_a_lich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/foundtheprogrammer
rptr87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
int randomAnswerToLifeAndEverything(){
}
deluxer21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
// Number determined by dice roll. Guaranteed to be random.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
//determined by a dice roll, guaranteed random
the_matriarchy ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 17:39:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That actually depends on how you define "Random"! Sure, if you define randomness as being non-deterministic, then it's very difficult to verify randomness in anything except a quantum context.
However, algorithmic information theory uses a definition of randomness that's totally compatible with determinism, and (in my opinion) matches intuitions about randomness much more closely. In algorithmic information theory, a sequence is said to be 'random' if it's shorter than the shortest turing machine (as encoded by some universal turing machine) that generates that sequence.
Or, in less formal terms, something is random if it is no more complex than its simplest description. So the string "ababababababababab" is quite non-random, because it can be described quite concisely as "ab x 11". On the other hand the sequence "a;sdka;oksfdgwji" can't be described nearly as easily - in fact, the best way to describe the sequence is to type out the entire sequence.
This is used a lot in fields like artificial intelligence, where "Solomonoff Induction" is used to weight hypotheses by their complexity - the simpler an explanation for something, the more likely it is. It's basically a mathematically precise and souped up version of Occam's Razor that lets you build AIs.
I think that's pretty cool.
2Punx2Furious ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:47:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's interesting, thanks. Still, I was thinking of another kind of randomness I guess.
For example, if you have a time machine, and go back to the past x times to watch some guy flip a coin, if the universe has any element of randomness, eventually the result will be different (assuming you as an observer are perfectly isolated from the system you are observing, and yes I know that's impossible, but we're also talking about time travel), but if the universe is deterministic, then the result will be alwyas the same, no matter how many times you go back and rewatch it.
apoliticalinactivist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's pattern recognition (cause and effect), all the same thing.
In your example, is it the universe that determines the coin flip or is it the physical properties of the coin, air pressure/density, and the strength of the person flipping?
At what point does our understanding of cause and effect become unable to predict the observer effect? Does the time traveler in the same room change the air current enough to affect the flip? Does his mere presence in the timeline affect the collective consciousness enough for him to subconsciously change the strength put into the flip?
2Punx2Furious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mean something like an intelligence, or just the hardwired laws of this universe? If so, the second one.
Also, yes, all those variables and potentially more. Properties of the coin, the air, the force applied to it, the gravity of every object in the universe that affects it, light hitting the coin, thoughts in the brain of animals and people all over the world caused by electric signals in the brain that cause a slight temperature rise that causes movement of air and then wind, all of that.
I can't answer that, I can only guess. I think it's impossible for us to know the value of each single variable in the universe.
Even if we had a computer that could simulate the universe exactly, and it knew every variable, then it would need to simulate itself an infinite number of times, and it would never end processing the simulation, even with infinite power and memory.
Of course, if the time travel were in the same room it would screw everything up, that's why in my first comment I specified that the observer is perfectly isolated from the observed system.
I don't know about the collective consciousness thing, but I think the mere existence of the concept of this traveller in the mind of an insect could alter that timeline.
I'm not even talking about the physical presence of a whole person, just move around an electron from point A to point B in a grain of sand and you've got a different universe.
The presence of a person that shouldn't be there would be huge.
apoliticalinactivist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, we would have to resolve the nature of time travel before we could even attempt to understand causality as it is not feasible for the observer to be completely isolated. As even registering the light to view something will block it from where it was oriiginally going.
There are two major views on the structure of the timeline, singular and parallel. Depending on which you prescribe to, directly affects how much of the universe is predetermined.
Singular, things are predetermined and when traveling through time, you would "drop out" and then "back in". So, your two selves would be independent of each other, so if you kill your grandfather, you're still fine. Terminator 2 style.
Parallel, there are infinite branches to cover every single decision and possibility and if you travel through time, you are still continuing your own localized timeline, so if you change something in the past, it would have an immediate effect on your branch. So if you kill your grandfather, you die. Looper style.
There are combinations of the two theories like in Back to the Future and Timecop, but the fundamental difference is in how would information be transmitted back to observer (ie. how will the regular person ever know?).
I personally choose to believe in the single timestream as it's more whimsical to believe there are time travelers all around just hanging out. Also, due to the fact that if infinite possibilities, we can have bad luck and be living in a universe where the people smart enough to develop time travel are hit by a bus or stuck in poverty.
Blackers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It seems that in the quantic world, things can be completely random. not sure tho
apoliticalinactivist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is the most high level, yet subtle quantum paradox joke ever, lol. Well done.
the_matriarchy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:10:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IMO that's not a very interesting kind of randomness. Things like "Having a time machine" are implausible and quite hard to define. It seems like that sort of randomness boils down to "Something is random if you know everything about the universe, except this one thing". We already know that knowing everything about the universe is impossible, thanks to the uncertainty principle. So it seems effectively impossible to know if something is random in this sense or not.
On the other hand, the information theoretic definition is both eminently verifiable, makes no metaphysical claims about time machines or universal knowledge, and applies to more than just flipping quantum bits. That's the beauty of Bayesian probability IMO - once you accept that randomness isn't some metaphysical property but just another way of talking about uncertainty (which exists everywhere, including deterministic systems), then a lot of these conversations become less far fetched and much more intuitive.
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. Mine was more of a "sci-fi" thought exercise than actual science.
Umbrall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coin flips aren't particularly random, they're determined by how the coin is flipped, where in the short-term quantum fluctuations don't really play a large part
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a large part, but in a random system, they'll eventually alter the result.
SirCatMaster ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:24:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. God, thank you for saying what we were all thinking. Man.
OldWolf2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:38:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Random" and "deterministic" are not incompatible. The distribution of digits in pi is something that is both random (so far as we know) and of course, determined and computable.
way2lazy2care ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:32:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That depends very much on what your definition of random is. There's strong arguments for the digits of pi being pseudo-random. I'm not certain that there's a suitable definition for random that would say the digits of pi are truly random unless you want to better elaborate your definitions.
xBraino ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:15:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
actually its quiet the opposite, on quantum scale, everything is random (and according to todays physics "true random"), meaning your deterministic everyday life is just statistics with an enormous number of events, making it seem deterministic. This makes certain things, like the clicking of a geiger counter unpredictable and therefore true random.
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am aware of the randomness of certain quantum effects, but I wonder if it's true that they are really unpredictable, or that we just don't know how yet.
omgApples ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:31:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hidden_variable_theory
TL;DR: Nope, we proved that it's actually random and completely non-deterministic. There is a small caveat about locality but you don't need to worry about that unless you're considering faster-than-light interactions (i.e. don't worry about that).
AllUltima ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:13:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This is not proven and cannot be proven. The proof you are referring to proves that there cannot be a local hidden variable explanation. But other quantum phenomena are nonlocal anyway. It just means the hidden variable setup would be nonlocal. Which probably means we should consider this less likely to be true, but really we don't know.
Also, the proof is of course based on a model derived from experimental evidence. The model will change in the future, if history is any indication at all. You can't completely prove anything in physics.
NulISpace ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:22:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody has proven that the world is actually random or non-deterministic at all. Apart from non-local hidden variables, bell's theorem allows for superdeterministic theories too.
2Punx2Furious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see, really interesting. Still, these are just quantum effects, I wonder to what degree they affect the macroscopic world. Do you think "decisions" made by living beings are affected by quantum effects, so that there is a degree of randomness, or that they are predictable?
whatzen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:03:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a neat way of transfering quantum randomness to macro-level. The next time you have a decision to make, set your options to correspond to variables by the last number output of a random series. Now the micro determines the macro.
2Punx2Furious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty cool.
bigmeaniehead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What place do virtual particles have in entropy?
whatzen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know :(, but it sounds like an interesting question. Are you implying something or just throwing that question out in the open?
bigmeaniehead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its just that from what I learned in my short life so far is that heat death relies on a closed system and to me virtual particles seem to imply that it isn't closed.
Ok I am just using wikipedia and the source is for stephen hawking but with no link, can you tell me what this means exactly?
"A virtual particle does not precisely obey the energyโmomentum relation m2c4 = E2 โ p2c2. Its kinetic energy may not have the usual relationship to velocityโindeed, it can be negative."
whatzen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, can't help you - I am not a physicist. But coincidentally I am going to a Stephen Hawking seminar in two week's time. Perhaps he will go into this so I can let you know.
bigmeaniehead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:20 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Could you ask him?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:17:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you want we can talk about this stuff.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:56:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Think about it like a bouncy ball. If you throw it, you don't know where it's going to land. But that's only because you don't know every single variable at play: surface friction, wind speed and direction, humidity etc. If you knew literally everything, you'd know exactly where that ball would land.
Maybe we're all just the ball, man.
Compizfox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is true for classical systems, yes. However, in quantum mechanics things are really random.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:27:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True dat. Subatomic particles be trippin', yo.
But maybe they're only random because we just don't fully understand the rules that govern their behavior?
I mean, this is an infinite regression. One person could say, "But the next level down is random!" and the other could reply, "Only because we don't understand it yet!"
For my part, I don't think that we're "all the ball, man" but it is hard to reconcile randomness with the knowledge that something as ephemeral as human emotion and thought can be linked to a series of electrochemical reactions in an amalgamated blob of lipids and proteins.
I'm just going with the flow. It would be simultaneously awesome, sick and depressing (depending on 1. who you are and 2. your ability to empathize with others) if this were a Futurama finale scenario and we were all just destined to relive our lives over and over because our atoms were destined to align at a specific point in the universe's life/death cycle.
I've gone off on a bit of a tangent here.
Compizfox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think we're venturing in the realm of philosophy of science here. Our current best explanation of what happens at small scale is quantum mechanics, and according to quantum mechanics, shit's random. Saying that it isn't, is almost equivalent to saying you don't believe quantum mechanics.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:34 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Replying also to u/planx_constant)
I'm a simple biology teacher so I haven't had the time to delve into quantum very much. (If it's smaller than an atom...) But thanks for the mini-explanations! I've always dreamt of being able to go back to school to do a second degree in physics but, unfortunately, who has the time? Do you guys have any suggested reading for semi-lay persons?
planx_constant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:52 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Things at a quantum level can't properly be said to have in infinitely precise position or momentum (or lots of other properties governed by uncertainty relations). Belief in determinacy of quantum particles requires a whole lot of other even weirder mechanisms to compensate. So whatever the next level down is, it has to incorporate indeterminacy at this level.
You can't ever know exactly the wind speed and direction, temperature, etc, because the molecules in the atmosphere are not deterministic.
better-every-day ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are things in quantum mechanics actually random?
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep ahaha.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One possibility is deterministic. For all we know, there are other theories. "(Pseudo)Randomness as far as our comprehension goes" seems fine :o
_mft_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, there are NIST tests...;)
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not familiar with that, but from a quick google search I guess they test the other kind of randomness. See my other comments for clarity.
Bagel90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Surely that's the only logical conclusion ? I don't get how there can be any for of randomness? Scientists is it possible for truly random events in physics ?
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently some quantum events are truly random, and there is no hidden variable that can give you an idea of their outcome, still I'm not too sure about that.
Valdrax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No local hidden variables. De Broglie-Bohm theory is one deterministic theory that relies on non-local hidden variables. Uncertainty is just the result of us being unable to measure all the components of a system.
However, that's a less popular interpretation. Most interpretations embrace that randomness is truly fundamental to the universe.
mountainlion88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/mindofmetalandwheels
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What would it mean for something to be random? Things have to be caused.
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You partly answered yourself. Something random would be either something that happens without a cause (maybe the big bang?) or something that, given the same exact variables and circumstances and context, can give a different result when tested multiple times.
For example, if you open an empty box, and it's always empty, no matter how many times you do it, then the system is deterministic, or non-random, but if even once, something just appears in the box out of nowhere, then that would be a random system. I made other examples in other comments, but I don't want to write the same things all the times.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I meant to answer myself (or rebut the answer). The thing is there's always the stream of causes behind the box's content; there's a reason the box suddenly has something in it or what happened is uncaused/random.
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly my point.
morewubwub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can actually pay money to have truly random numbers generated.
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still pseudo-random to a degree.
Some people argue that radioactive decay and certain quantum effects are truly random, but I don't know.
morewubwub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They can watch radiation hit receptors and generate random bits. You can pay for access to an api to pull randomly generated integers.
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
deidara141 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Woah,dude...
artifex28 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then again we know that quantum physics play in the realm of probabilities in a manner that true randomness will always exist.
And no, it's not deterministic.
True randomness demonstrated @ Nature
twdwasokay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought nothing was random? Its just incredibly small differences causes huge repercussions, but if we could calculate everything nothing would be random?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The laws of physics are only in relation to a specific reference frame, so those numbers could be random or could be completely normal,depending. Entropy in physics is also not invariant.
rhymes_with_chicken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the engineering library at uni there was an entire volume named 'random numbers.
It was exactly what you'd expect--pages and pages of numbers.
It really bothered me for quite a while as to how the numbers were derived. I mean it has been 28 years and I'm still thinking about it
pritikina ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There's no way to verify anything at all being random." You sir blew my mind today.
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And apparently I was wrong.
JokerReach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As Jon LaJoie once said:
"Searching for purpose in a random universe sucks dick. Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way? Can I choose to not give a fuck about ice cube trays?"
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that ultimately we are just observers. We think we decide stuff, but in the end the decisions we make are just a fruit of all the variables of the environment that we observed and our brain just executes the only possible answer for each decision.
You think you are choosing between chocolate and vanilla ice cream, but in the end, the way your brain was shaped by all the years you lived, the contents of your stomach, the sight of the icecream, and all those other variables, will make you "choose".
svante8008 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. And all we are, are chemical reactions.
Compizfox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Two interesting videos relevant to this discussion:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rIy0xY99a0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMb00lz-IfE
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually we can be almost certain there is no hidden variable or local reality theory underneath quantum mechanics (I assume that's what you were referring to). Ensemble averages are practically deterministic, but individual particles aren't. There's enough data on this that we really can tell the difference.
See also: Bell Inequality and associated experiments.
Trevmiester ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Like even if you go to random.org and generate the most random of numbers, those numbers were already going to be picked. It wasn't going to be any other set of numbers.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The determinism you're talking about is better known as Bell's Theory. Quantum Mechanics violates this. The reason is either that locality (causality) doesn't exist, or the Universe is not deterministic. Most physicists choose the latter. Therefor, there's a high chance we don't live in a clockwork Universe. There's other theories also, but I put some level of trust with the majority of highly intelligent people that devote their lives to answering these questions.
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see, with these comment I'm slowly beginning to realize that.
Scattered_Disk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like a Schrodiger's Cat.
spgtothemax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there any evidence against the universe being deterministic?
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently radioactive decay and some quantum effects are truly random. Also the big bang might have happened randomly, and some particles randomly come into existance, but that's part of the "quantum effects".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except quantum mechanics yo.
aksumighty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
random number generator program does decently. Without that we wouldn't be able to do much randomized experiments.
NiceSasquatch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sure, fire a circularly polarized photon into a linear polarizer. There's your coin flip.
tehfrog729 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a physical determinist.
pmmedenver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think that random is only relevant as compared to some other thing. For instance: the exact number of airplanes flying at any given moment in Thailand is a completely random number when used for the price of tea in Denver. However, is the number of airplanes flying in Thailand random by itself? No, not really, you can certainly predict it.
TheEnemyOfMyAnenome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
do you even quantum physics scrub
ForTheWin72 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
include <iostream>
include <ctime>
using namespace std
int main(){ default_random_engine randGen; uniform_int_distribution<int> number(1, 1000);
cout << "This is a random number between 1 and 1000: " << number(randGen) << endl;
return 0 }
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These are pseudo-random numbers. Unless you randomize your system clock with something like a decaying atom or some quantum shit.
ForTheWin72 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course they're pseudo-random. Any number generated by a computer is pseudo-random. But for most purposes, this is as random as you can get unless you generate two numbers in the same second.
polysemous_entelechy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then came quantum physics.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:21:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://dilbert.com/strip/2001-10-25
eskaza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:30:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever heard of electron tunneling?
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard of quantum tunneling, is that similar?
eskaza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's the same thing.
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:37 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see, thanks.
cool_e_coli ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if I close my eyes then furiously slam on a keyboard.
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still not really random if it wasn't for quantum interferences. So yeah, everything is random to a degree.
exor15 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:54:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the universe IS deterministic right? People argue that quantum mechanics is the only true randomness in our universe, but even that is debated (we can't accurately predict outcomes on a quantum level, but that doesn't necessarily make them random). And even if quantum mechanics are random, it's unlikely that it would affect the universe on a macroscopic scale right? I mean, the effects could percolate upwards and maybe affect something tiny in our world.
I dunno. This is Reddit. Someone else probably knows way more about this than me.
2Punx2Furious ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:01:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly what I mean.
umop_aplsdn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:57:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Bell's theorem effectively states that quantum mechanical events are truly "random."Second, they can effect macroscopic change. Quantum number generators have been created, and these can be used to make decisions. The butterfly effect also states that small changes (like minute quantum states) over time can result in huge shifts in a system.Deracination ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:07:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bell's theorem doesn't say there's quantum randomness. As I understand it, it says one of the following must be true:
The universe is superdeterministic
Locality is violated
Realism is violated
NulISpace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not at all, Bell's theorem only shows that no local hidden variables theory can describe quantum mechanical interactions. It doens't show that the world is truly random, only that local realism is not an accurate description of the cosmos. For example bohmian mechanics makes all the same accurate predictions as quantum mechanics but is deterministic and contains none of the superpositions or probabilities of QM
umop_aplsdn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fixed, thanks
Compizfox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're having the same argument Einstein had when he said "God doesn't play dice". He was proven wrong by quantum mechanics, however.
As far as I understand it, that's not the case. It's not a problem with our abilities or equipment, the universe really is random at a quantum level.
exor15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But how can we truly prove it's random? How do we know outcomes on the quantum level aren't determined by some initial condition we can't yet measure? What evidence do we have for either possibility?
Compizfox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Unfortunately I don't know enough about quantum mechanics to answer that.
Other people in threads below have tried to answer the same question though:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3gljgr/what_is_a_phrase_that_makes_you_instantly_dislike/ctzernq
BTW, if you're interested in this stuff, I can recommend you to watch this video about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, which is not exactly the same issue, but very related.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, probably not, for a number of reasons.
Beyond the quantum mechanical randomness stuff others have mentioned (which is way, way outside my personal wheelhouse), we can also approach the issue philosophically.
Something I like to think about in this respect is Platonic Idealism. In essence, Plato argued that the external, material realm was in fact less real than the abstract realm of ideas. For example, a tree in your yard would be considered an imperfect expression of ideal "treeness." The most real, truest tree, the ideal tree which perfectly embodies "treeness" exists only in the non-materal world of ideas, yet it remains more real than any tree we might observe as they are, according to Plato, derived imperfectly from that ideal tree.
Now, this sounds very strange to most people, but it's not all that different from how many have come to understand science and how science relates to the world. They take it for granted that the ideal world is the highest form of truth, that anything which cannot be reduced to some set of equations ought not be taken too seriously, and that, ultimately, math and science ought to be able to encompass all the truth of reality.
This is how we end up with people considering the notion of a deterministic universe to be somehow obvious. Math is deterministic, and the universe is ultimately just math, so therefore the universe must be deterministic. But it's that second premise which has a lot of problems which usually go unacknowledged, namely that there's no rational grounds for believing it!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Questioning my rationality always gets me excited!
With the idea of a deterministic universe, we're not necessarily talking about an ideal universe, but rather a universe with a set of initial conditions. If we know "x,y,z" values, then we can predict how the universe will behave. Determinism isn't saying that we're observing a signal with noise and that if we knew what the noise was, we could extract the signal (even though in reality, the signal doesn't exist), it's saying that our signal doesn't have noise and our model has to pass through every data point.
If we accept the premise that an ideal model for a universe exists only as an idea, that would imply multiple universes, no? We can look at all the trees that have fallen and come up with the idea of an ideal tree only because of the fact that we have seen multiple trees. If only one tree ever existed (or universe), it would have to be ideal since it is the only one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see why it would. It could also be true that there is only one universe, and, at the same time, no idealized model for it. It then becomes an epistemic question.
To turn that around, if only one tree ever existed, could it be described as a tree at all? An ideal is the perfect embodiment of some conception. In the case of a singular tree, there could be no conception for it to embody aside from itself, so it would normally be regarded as the imperfect embodiment of some other conception or conceptions rather than the perfect embodiment of itself.
Of course, we could say the tree is the perfect embodiment of itself and therefore ideal, but at that point we're not using "ideal" in the usual sense. It's just a tautology like "The Louvre is the ideal Louvre." It must be true, but it doesn't really say anything.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:40:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
2Punx2Furious ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:42:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think so.
partysnatcher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, but in science an approximation is used.
You can identify a pattern, and it doesn't really matter which pattern this is ("patterns" being the opposite of "randomness") in the numbers (such as the frequency of a certain number, or amount of repetitions), and you can calculate the chance of this quality of pattern occurring randomly, known as the p-value.
If the p-value is lower than 0.05 (1 in 20), scientists will usually assume that the pattern is not a result of random chance. The assumption is (like you say) that you can never be sure, and with this method you will only be wrong 1 in 20 times.
In the case of the numbers above, the p-value is probably a lot lower. /u/nut_butter_420 is more likely to be right (that these numbers were not generated by a random engine) than wrong.
2Punx2Furious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, maybe "random" is not the word that I meant. Maybe "predetermined" is the one?
nut_butter_420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
5% margin of error is for fucking casuals, 3 sigmas or get out of my fucking house
boxhead99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This is so scary. This means that fate is indeed real. If you had enough information about the universe you could calculate and even predict every reaction and outcome in the universe. Shit is scary
_riotingpacifist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's impossible to know everything because QM, at best you can map the probabilities (pretty much what muad'dib does)
boxhead99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Muad'dib?
And why cant we know everything? I dont know much about quantum mechanics so could you eli5?
Vernost ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if I can do an ELI5 for it, but one of the most fundamental ideas of QM is its random nature.
There's a thing called a wavefunction, and squaring it gives you the probability of what you're measuring. so lets say you're trying to see where a particle is. When you get the probability function, you're usually not going to get just one discrete answer. You're not going to get "oh the electron is at 6m." Instead it's probabilistic, you can say "well, I'm 75% sure the particle is between 5 m and 7 m."
The thing is, is that in QM the probability function is always right. As in, if you took an infinite number of readings on the same exact state then you'd it would match the function. So we know what the probabilities are, but because quantum mechanics is random-based, we won't necessarily get the same single result every time, even if everything is exactly the same.
If you want, I can suggest some textbooks that may help.
Also sorry if there are mistakes or if my format is weird. I'm doing this on mobile
_riotingpacifist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The uncertainty principle, gives us a lower bound for how accurately we can know a couple of variables, the most famous pair are momentum & position, so if we are 100% sure on the position of an object we are 0% sure on it's location.
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean? Anyway, yes, if you had all the information you could predict the whole future of the universe, but as I explain here I think that this is impossible.
boxhead99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol i meant fate, obs
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, yes, in that case it would be, in a way.
NulISpace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is called the Laplace's demon thought experiment, in case you want to read more about it
boxhead99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks dude. I have thought about this problem for ages and been trying to Google more information about it without any result!
marishtar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double slit experiment is bullshit!
jupiter5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
killjoy
gonrada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just pulled down my pants, punched myself in the dick, and then shit on the floor. You telling me the universe planned that out?
SuperNntndoChalmers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just said something that instantly made me dislike you.
Vigilante17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You haven't met my wife.
tboneplayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it could be entirely random, and we could merely be living in a localized part of the randomness that gives the appearance of a structured order.
reverendpariah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That kinda depends on which interpretation of quantum mechanics ends up being correct too. If the Copenhagen interpretation is right there is true randomness in probabilities of quantum states. If everettian quatum mechanics is right then we can still consider the universe to be deterministic. For large scale objects we are still deterministic.
idiodabble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hearthstone is a game with more randomness in it than chess. Determinism doesn't completely invalidate the notion of randomness
Horrible-Human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
prime algorithm be praised
ImAWizardYo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So where's the universal instruction set located?
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's that?
ImAWizardYo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:12 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good question. I suppose it's the metaphysical version of this.
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:03 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, well then I don't think I have an answer, and I'm not even sure there is an answer, but it's a really interesting question, I wonder if someone else is looking into it or if it's already solved.
ImAWizardYo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:23 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose you could say the good folks at CERN or any of the other high-energy particle physics labs are trying to understand exactly that. The existential question or our existence is still a long ways beyond our current level of comprehension.
McCFred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi there, welcome to Calvinism
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Determinism*
Spyger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read: "Fact"
Enlistregret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. Hisenberg's principle(measurement effects shit) and the fundamentally random behavior of subatomic particles invalidates deterministic theory.
Source-took philosophy 101 am a genius /s
lymn ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:10:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: People who don't know about the Diehard Randomness tests or Kolmogorov complexity.
...How predictable.
MystyrNile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you can't prove it, can you? He could've typed that sequence from memory for all we know.
halfshellheroes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:13:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could always seed with a computer clock. That's pretty random.
consigntooblivion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant XKCD
MrBubbleSS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More Relevant XKCD
... Which has been posted in this thread multiple times.
Dashdylan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to let you know, I may have woken up my neighbor laughing at this. And your username... This may be my favorite reddit comment.
Im-Probably-Lying ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:19:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It should be noted that I've upvoted every single person who's disagreed with me here, as far as I know.
That said.
In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area.
An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test.
My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He's not particularly successful as an engineer, but I've met lots of other engineers who aren't as good as me at physics, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it.
I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan).
I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is.
Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories.
I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it.
I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code.
I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them.
I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things.
I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone.
I'm pretty much a pacifist. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don't attack, I'll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I'm never in a situation where I'll be worse off after a fight. If I'm not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don't care.
The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them.
I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Reddit "women are crazy" circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I don't think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who aren't awesome.
That doesn't mean I look for places to victimize women, I just don't believe it's fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everything's OK when it's really not (and that's a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that).
I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments).
And, uh, I'm a pretty good moderator.
All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?
Craptacles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gold
10platesandadagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Great writing though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This belongs in /r/Iamverysmart
nut_butter_420 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:27:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=It+should+be+noted+that+I%27ve+upvoted+every+single+person+who%27s+disagreed+with+me+here%2C+as+far+as+I+know.
EATS_MANY_BURRITOS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta find the seed for the PRNG!
On a side note, Linux kernels v1.3 and up have this neat feature called an entropy pool that generates a continuous stream of random data based on user inputs and peripherals timing for use in OS processes that require robust randomness.
nukethem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, you can quantify the randomness of any string of numbers - integer or not.
Sedu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's neat is that /u/nut_butter_420 writes all their posts with random letters! The chances against all of them being coherent sentences is staggering! It's not like this message which is carer K<EASLF& fgo78S GFaFu*P(AFAZFPS*(YV ASF 98c8967saT&68AS^A&F#O*GQF:NQ>NACP)R@+Q_:FQJA>ACWAQ@RT fSZ F AS
AFF(AFA()YF (QWR YQPFya=f+Afy=asf8AYHWPQR&#G
1920sRadio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They were generated using measurements of cosmic radiation as a seed to ensure randomness.
__jason ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, man. This bullshit is all natural.
zaery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He could have grabbed them from random.org.
sipes216 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The choice to insert numbers of a specified length was an ordered action. Not random.
DrobUWP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
numbers? no..that's one number
MushiMushi-DesuDesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mah niggah.
MissilesAgainstBats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ever heard of BigCrush?
zedgrrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this like a Math version of Grammar Nazi raging over poor word usage, punctuation and/or sentence structure? I apologize for being naive; this was best metaphor I could use to express how your comment resonated with me.
DrThugMoney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Compare each number with the expectation 3.5*n and the variance. If the number has too much of a deviation from then you assume they weren't. Or do a hypothesis test
chuckmcgil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Big tit has sex with man
TranshumansFTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I mean, there's no way to prove it but the number of 7s and the number of repeats appears about right.
Fun fact, when a human tries to generate a "random" number string, there will be far fewer of one specific number (usually 7s) than in a truly random sequence, and there will far fewer cases of numbers repeating themselves more than twice. Additionally, people will avoid putting two repetitions next to each other - that is, your sequence will be unlikely to go 8888555434858 at any point, because that has an 8-repetition and a 5-repetition consecutively, which for some reason the human brain perceives as not random, despite the fact that it is by definition random.
grass_cutter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but you can sort of determine statistical likelihood that it is random to an extent. Like the number 111112111111111111111111111111 could have been randomly generated, but likely not. I would test the independence of each number based on the number directly before it. That should be a better indicator if he typed it or mashed the keyboard, vs using a script that randomly generated each digit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates (1955)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not random. Not enough entropy.
1) Sequences like 666, 000, 444, 08080, 474747
2) Look for someone alternating between hands or fingers. One way the US broke Russian codes was that the Russians generated keys with ladies that alternated between the left and right part of a typewriter.
thisisalili ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well, it's definitely not prime
doominabox1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not an integer, too many bits.
donquixote1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/roll10
TripAddict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
brings me back to cryptography class
TERRAOperative ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I get my friends cat to walk on my keyboard while chasing a dangly piece of string, is that considered random?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That number is wayyy too large to store as an integer. You're going to run into errors.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can prove it's random up to a certain degree of certainty
Duderds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well actually there is, it would be highly inaccurate with only this many integers but you could find the probability that OP would pick 'said number' after each particular number and create even more variables. It only appears to be random :)
nex_xen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
except the:
Weave77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://dilbert.com/strip/2001-10-25
ChadBan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The distribution is suspicious:
("375016472919472018420582748195727493017563756669491749444820572759493578839482571011000482743929572848492058471010485483837762944858596033938597080805382711524254759034859694632264959693649397534875484994747474649204443928224944267385967005696067705")
Result
Conclusion: u/StealthNL mashed on the keyboard & is trying to pass it off as random.
StealthNL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:28:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES! SORRY OKAY GOD NEXT TIME I CLAIM TO BE RANDOM ILL MAKE SURE MY DISTRIBUTION IS INFALLIBLE
PyramldHEAD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Checkmate!
ezrnearjaerj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because you can't verify it doesn't mean it's not random... you have your causality backwards.
ThachWeave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The concept of true random does not make sense; there can never be a true random number, or true random anything, as there is always a certain criteria by which a subject is selected.
lildil37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He should of used pi what a mistake.
MichaelNevermore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BSSolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comment was actually the randomly-generated one.
MystyrNile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds so much like a /r/YouDontSurf script.
chiminage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bro...where is your limit?
derefr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You're right! There is no way to verify a static sampling as being from an RNG. You can verify an RNG process or output stream, though: you just collect a long arbitrary subsampling of its output and make sure that it's mathematically uniform, and has maximum Shannon entropy (i.e. is incompressible with a general data compression algorithm.)
That doesn't ensure that process won't suddenly switch to being predictable in the future, though. Even if it seems pretty good.
bioemerl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A big sign is that there are repeat numbers. Humans won't tend to put thee fours in a row when typing out random numbers, but this string above does often, and does it twice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
13897541687154875348135746814876848135418135483541871354683
gijose41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
+/u/rollme [[1d20]]
BioDigitalJazz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he's just mashing his face on the numberpad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a Numberphile video that goes with this?
TotallyNotanOfficer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It could truly be random if it was made correctly, via a One Time Pad, which is unbreakable...If done correctly.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-time_pad
tanooki_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That number is way to big to be an integer
vhite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't subscribe to your ideas of random, they aren't random enough!"
MyFootprint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:43 on August 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He types a number with his right finger and then left. If you look it's often a number from 1-5 then a number from 6-0. They feign randomness by occasionally repeating a number
MrReynevan2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:27:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If anything, it's
longnotinteger.Koooooj ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 17:02:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You may be random, but you're not particularly uniformly distributed. With about 249 numbers there you have only 13 ones but 41 fours.
[deleted] ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 17:24:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uniform distribution is not random
Koooooj ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 17:31:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, but you'd expect 249 numbers to be closer to a uniform distribution than this was. I ran 100 tests of 249 random numbers as provided by python's random.randint and looked at the frequency of one digit and not once was there an instance of 13 or fewer or 41 or more of the same number.
It's possible, of course, that an unweighted source of random digits would produce this string, but it is improbable that something this biased would occur. There was enough evidence to state with >95% certainty that the numbers did not come from a high quality random number source but came from keyboard mashing instead.
hornyhooligan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
i mean, doesn't the fact that he mashed the keys on his keyboard make the sequence not random? given that he unconsciously selected for particular numbers?
i remember this video i saw a while back where a kid wrote "random" numbers on a whiteboard and was told they weren't actually random, and could never be, since he would always choose the frequency of the numbers.
christian-mann ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:23:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Humans are really terrible RNGs.
AuraMasterNeal ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:48:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Our brains are designed to work well with patterns. We don't work well with something that is literally the opposite of what our brains are designed to do.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Our brains
are designedhappen to work well with patterns. We don't work well with something that is literally the opposite ofwhat our brains are designed to doour specialty.Fixed that for you. Someone who didn't know better could have interpreted that as your way of saying, "My imaginary friend guides evolution."
Koooooj ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:29:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Deciding whether or not they're random winds up quickly devolving into a philosophical discussion about determinism and whether or not choice and free will exist. I have no interest in going down that rabbit hole.
That said, though, you can look at the quality of a string of "random" numbers by asking "how predictable is the next number, given the previous string of numbers?" In the case of "random" numbers produced by mashing on a keyboard the answer is "not nearly random enough to be used for anything serious." Serious random number generators often get subjected to statistical tests (most famously the Diehard tests) to see how well they emulate the theoretical behavior of a perfect random number generator. Something like Mersenne Twister or Dual_EC_DRBG pass these tests quite well (although the latter is fundamentally broken for security), while keyboard mashing does not.
hornyhooligan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. Thanks for the explanation!
bawnmawt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thank you. i wonder what's spreading faster: knowledge of the weakness, or usage of the broken generator.
incongruity ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:33:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, no - the layout of the keyboard, mechanics and contiguous nature of one's hand (especially if mashed into the keyboard) will all bias some pattern or another. Don't confuse random with a lack of intention. Truly random distributions are actually hard to come across.
reddcolin ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The way this conversation so quickly got serious is why I love this site. Fucking Redditors. You're such majestic fuckups.
--_--_--_--_--_--_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your mistake was using the word majestic
Krail ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if you just dance your fingers across the number row on a keyboard you're likely to get a functionally random sequence without uniform distribution. You'd generally expect to see numbers towards the center more frequently. It's still basically random, just has different probabilities.
DialtoneDamage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This got intense fast.
hugthemachines ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand, it could be random.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Koooooj ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:27:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote a quick Monte Carlo simulation to check both the low number of ones and the large number of fours to see the probability of having both of those distributions in one 249 element sample. (I counted it regardless of which digit was abnormally common or uncommon, since there's nothing special about 1 and 4).
I performed 10,000 trials and had 9 cases where there was as nonuniform of a distribution as in the sample given, so I feel quite confident that the sample did not come from a uniform distribution. I could be wrong, but my certainty is well over 95 or even 99 percent.
As it happens, the sample was confirmed to have been produced by button mashing, a remarkably nonuniform method of getting random numbers.
StealthNL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just mashed the keyboard...
slate15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You make the assumption that the numbers were generated randomly from a uniform distribution. He or she could have been drawing from a distribution where 4 is more common and 1 is less common, which could easily have resulted in the sequence provided above.
haddock420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/theydidthemath
i_ANAL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh this is why i love reddit.
tboneplayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True. urandom() is considered a high-quality PRNG yet spits out repeat digits fairly frequently. The early developers of playlist shuffle functions tried implementing them with a random selection algorithm but it drove listeners crazy for precisely this reason, and in the end they had to go with a modified algorithm that filtered out repeat results. Yet this is not random selection.
bradygilg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it is. It's in the name, it's a distribution.
Tasgall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It lacks entropy though - the /u/StealthNL number generator is almost 4 times more likely to generate a 4 than a 1, that makes it more predictable.
StealthNL ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:26:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well no, I just mashed the number keys for a while. Sorry..
MikeW86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://dilbert.com/strip/2001-10-25
shemperdoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a clear pattern of alternating 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6, 7, 8, 9, 0, with the exception of repeat numbers, which suggests that he/she used two fingers two type from the number row as opposed to the numpad, while occasionally putting repeats in there when they felt like it.
DrFuckingSeuss ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:52:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
relevant xkcd
roreads ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like you're pretty into numbers.
StealthNL ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:00:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more into xkcd
AurochJake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's numberwang
vindecima ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh please don't make me laugh
Y#wJCJBS5592k63abX@k$9Oj0XMCsMw&**g#pdd96d%QZEFax!77#04&jT1OLS*%%EjmNec#WxJaw2hLCo5uVhzKYFp7JV7ROWkbS&hEqJkw!d#ygw3t2m6vz*O&eFZCanYqudx&o*Nnz!O4$^A1EI
I'm as random as LastPass gets.
itsbentheboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but that's only a single number...
we'll need more data
ItsKoku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No you're not! >:( What do you have against 1's?!
MATLABI did the math.wbsgrepit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Poor entropy detected -- you fail at random.
1RedOne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Way too many fucking 7's to really be random...or is it?
largaxis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You appear to be at a keyboard alternating the use of right and left hands at the integer row judging by you cyclical use of low and high numbers.
The_Prince1513 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pfft i can beat that shuffles a deck of cards
foshogun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
nagelbitarn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhere in the number pi, this exact series of digits exists. So damn unoriginal.
loyallemons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see a lot of 8s in there...
wizardman_fundipGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dammit thats what i was gonna say
Random___Numbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my people
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey guys! I decoded it! Here you go!
รลธtรยฎ;รร}รฃลลฝรร6รย6รฏย5รทยรถรฏยwรรนรซ~รนรซยฎลรฃร{รฃร8รฃรลฝรงลยปรงร=รยรผรณxรณn{รMuรM8รณnรธรรลรงลลรฃร=รN|รฃลtรN<รงย7รณ~รปรซoxรฃร|รงรลฝรwรณย{รร<รยรผรลuรงn6รงยรนรทMรธรณยzรทยยทรnลพรทยzรท~ลพรท{รง~<รฏย<รฃรxรฏยรธรฏยลพรทm8รฃยรฝรรยถรฃร8รยฎรทรณยzรฏM9รซรลฝรซลธรด
cammorecruit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Two elks sat on a fence and knitted strawberry jam. Then a dingo flew by, but she hadn't heard any submarine, motherfucker.
Jas0nta11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see that 666 Satan
blitzkraft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From an information theory point of view, lexical white noise is just about the opposite of interesting by definition.
l2np ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm random than you Nebraska entropy insidious %53 Chomsky internalize dogs dogs dogs
rv0celot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck off with your randomness
mb862 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
> /dev/null
Jetsu1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ME, TOO, SO RANDOM 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196442881097566593344612847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432664821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160943305727036575959195309218
GraharG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
im liking the repeating digits. You eirther used a generator or are goood at doing random numbers by hand, most people wont ever pu in a triple 6 even although its fairly likley to occur
Wille304 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
THE NUMBERS MASON,
WHAT DO THEY MEAN?
kerplunkerfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
tacos41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Took a grad level probability class recently and we talked about how we humans are actually bad at being random. When we "randomly" pick numbers, they aren't distributed randomly. Specifically, we choose repeated number or consecutive numbers far less than we should.
RoseTylerI- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A858?
Qwerty4812 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd haha
MidWestJoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got to the first 6 and started singing 867530 niiiieiiiiine.
_-Redacted-_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not so random, pretty sure that's just a section from Pi.
RLutz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LZW compression of that string was 1.63:1
Pretty good job of being random (it's harder than you might think!)
DaMan123456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So. your Pi? Your 3.14 does not impress me. Though that journey you took with that lion was the shit!
jack4au1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I SPY A PATTERN
marsgreekgod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
983824865847812472157263155 https://www.random.org/
I was really random
haiku_for_yall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's Numberwang!
christopherson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No your odd! Hahaha...
I'll leave now.
AlmostButNotQuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
4
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me to.
4
qi1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm random too.
1234567891011121314151617181920212223242526272829303132333435363738394041424344454647484950
Omnipotent_Entity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you forgot the 12
Squee6952 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WILD CARD BABY
Codile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd: https://xkcd.com/1210/
Yawehg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For anyone missing the reference.
Mardred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chicken wings.
Grizzant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not that random. you really like the number 4
pm_me_your_bigcock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Looks pretty damn haphazard to me...how dare you claim to be random!!
pyr666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
your sequence has an overabundance of 7's
Skylord_ah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THE NUMBERS MASON! WHAT DO THE NUMBERS MEAN?!
Zaungast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pffft. That's just some consecutive sequence of pi.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see a disturbingly skewed distribution that concentrates on the middle digits (4567), which means you MADE IT UP- it's not a random number :(
Lonesome_Llama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're so random then why is that sequence of numbers found in Pi huh? Nice repost op.
The_Stoner_Diaries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You missed a 2
Ze_Bearded_Kelephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd: https://xkcd.com/1210/
PinkyandzeBrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you missed a digit.
MrReynevan2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:38:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
orlanderlv ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:02:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer here. Did you know that most "random generators" actually is just a function that pulls a set number based on some indicator like what time of day the function was called?! It's true. Actually picking a truly random number is not easy. It's much easier to pull a number based on some other thing like day, time of day, etc.
sirePURPLE ยท 3974 points ยท Posted at 15:23:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*raises spork
[deleted] ยท 3598 points ยท Posted at 15:51:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Nottan_Asian ยท 1759 points ยท Posted at 17:36:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yarr, mateys! I be new to this port. Holds up Hook hand. My name be Sullivan Bradford, but ye can call me Captain Saltskin! Yarharhar! As ye can see, I be a salty dog of the seven seas. That be why I be here, t'find me crew of salty dogs like meself. I be thirty and two years of age (But me scurvy not be enough to stop me from skinnin' sorry wretches half me age). I enjoy plunderin' a good galleon and slicin' navy sailors with me crew (Ye live 'n die with the crew, matey, and ye best be dealin' with it). Yarharhar, that be the best feelin', lad. Aye, me crew be a vicious lot, but there be no hurtin' in findin' more salty dogs like meself. Like me old paps once told me, the more the merrier (Aye, that was before he walked the plank. He sank with twice the weight on his ankles 'cos of those words. Good times). Ye can find me in th' pub if ye thinkin' yerself to be salty enough for me crew. YARRR! Ye scurvy wretches! Why's the rum always gone, lads?
Take what ye can, and give nuffin' back
Captain Saltskin
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 18:24:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haters can check thier pirate privelidge
OldManJenkins9 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:15:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
jollyroger1629:
AdamtheGrim ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:00:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit.
mr_abomination ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:49:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, I haven't seen that one yet.
Take my upvote.
Nottan_Asian ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:37:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because it didn't exist before; I followed the copypasta and made it myself.
Darth_Meatloaf ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:22:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT BE THE PIRATE'S FAVORITE LETTER?
Shisa4123 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:24:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOU'D THINK IT BE R, BUT IT'S ACTUALLY THE C.
smokey-the-beard ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:43:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, its P, because without it he would be irate
CottonPicker65 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:39:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this the new gangplank?
Stormhjerte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds a lot more like old Gangplank.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:36:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ekofisk3 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 22:55:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[] Yes
[] This
[] Came here to say this
[x] Logged in just to upvote this
[] I know this will never be seen but...
[] I found this gem...
[] This will be downvoted to hell/buried but...
[] This should have more upvotes
[] An upvote for you, good sir
[] You are a gentleman and a scholar
[] You magnificent bastard
[] M'lady / tips fedora
[] Someone give this man reddit gold
[] Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
[] Anne Frankly I did nazi that coming
[] That escalated quickly
[] To the top with you!
[] Lost it at ____
[] This is why we can't have nice things
[] Faith in humanity restored
[] Whoa / mind = blown
[] Manly tears were shed
[] Cutting onions
[] I know that feel, bro
[] Right in the feels
[] Risky click
[] Shots fired
[] Nailed it
[] You. I like you
[] I regret that I only have one upvote to give
[] Tree fiddy
[] Was not disappointed
[] Wait, why do I have you tagged as _______?
[] What did I just read?
[] Da fuq?
[] YOU HAD ONE JOB
[] I can't fap to this
[] Cakeday
[] What are you doing, stahp
[] For science
[] That's enough internet for me today
[] Would not bang
[] x/10 would (not) Y
[] What is this I don't even?
[] How is this WTF?
[] Circlejerk must be leaking
[] Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym
[] Said no one ever
[] I have the weirdest boner right now
[] /thread
[] My first post
[] Edit: wow I can't believe my top comment is about _______
[] EDIT: Seriously front page? Thanks guys!
[] EDIT: Obligatory front page edit!!!
[] Are you me?
[] The picture that brought me to reddit
[] Directions unclear - dick stuck in _______
[] I laughed way harder than I should have
[] It's almost like Reddit is thousands of different people with thousands of different opinions.
[] Plot twist: _____
[] Source: _____
[] Step one: be attractive. Step two: don't be unattractive.
[] Broken Arms - Mom jerked him off
[] ____ here: can confirm / can confirm: am ____/ etc
[] Something involving sex with "your mom"
[] Mom's spaghetti
[] Tom Cruise
[] Ghandi (Gandhi*)
[] [________ intensifies]
[] rekt
[] Banana for scale
[] You da real MVP
[] I spat out my _____ laughing at that
[] You're doing god's work.
[] u fookin wot m8
[] Woosh!
[] ಠ_ಠ
[] 60% of the time, it works every time
[] I am disapoint
[] RIP in peace
[] Remember when _______? Pepperidge Farm
cakebomb4114 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:15:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A bot like this would be awesome
Ekofisk3 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:33:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the technology just isn't there yet
HiimCaysE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's awesome how far I had to scroll for this, but it needs to be longer.
StraidOfOlaphis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Remember when Memes were dank?
Bottom text.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
talk_like_a_pirate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ye done well matey
Helenarth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking lost it.
Kiiopp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:11:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ye best be dealing with it
ratmfreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out.
Leocollier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one is definitely my favourite.
ParadiseSold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oooh I've never seen this one before. I like it.
Nottan_Asian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I came up with it, following the original copypasta.
TheAdorableThespian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was extremely fun to recite.
badrussiandriver ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:55:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dear Fake Pirate Sir: I knew you were a fake pirate in the second sentence. You used, and I quote: "....My name be Sullivan Bradford...." Endquote. Had you been, in fact, a real pirate, that sentence would've read: "......Me name be Sullivan Bradford....". You're welcome.
Nottan_Asian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oi, lads, we got'reselves a clever one!
Landlubbin' pansy, ye have no idea who ye be speakin' to.
Morrtyy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:04:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, I will be Pirate King!
Nofap_TH1356 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:39:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You totally missed a spork hand joke
Greyclocks ยท 4869 points ยท Posted at 16:18:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GREETINGS BATTLE BROTHERS, I AM NEW. *HOLDS UP BOLTER AND POWERSPORK! MY NAME IS SERGEANT ARGUS BUT YOU CAN CALL ME BATTLE BROTHER. AS YOU CAN SEE I AM VERY LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND. THAT IS WHY I HAVE COME HERE, TO MEET FELLOW BATTLE BROTHERS WHO ARE LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR LIKE MYSELF. I AM 127 YEARS OF AGE (PRAISE THE EMPEROR) I LIKE TO PURGE HERETICS AND XENO SCUM WITH MY BATTLE BROTHERS (I LOVE MY BATTLE BROTHERS, IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THAT THE DEAL WITH IT) IT IS OUR FAVORITE ACTIVITY BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR. ALL MY BATTLE BROTHERS ARE LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR TOO OF COURSE, BUT I WANT TO MEET MORE LOYAL SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR. LIKE THE EMPEROR ONCE SAID, THE MORE THE MERRIER. I HOPE TO BOND WITH A LARGE AMOUNT OF LOYAL SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR SO JOIN ME IN PRAISE OF THE EMPEROR. FAREWELL.
PRAISE THE EMPEROR AND GLORY TO THE IMPERIUM!
BATTLE BROTHER
[deleted] ยท 2256 points ยท Posted at 16:36:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
fuckyeahmoment ยท 714 points ยท Posted at 16:46:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kinda like this one actually.
mistriliasysmic ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:21:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's quite pleasant.
CheroCole ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:48:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. Quaint qualities indeed.
BlubberBunsXIV ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:22:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I imagined Gunny saying this.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:21:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I imagined a space marine, showered in the blood of green-skins, raising his Bolter into the air.
wagafraga ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:00:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's this a reference to?
fuckyeahmoment ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:14:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Warhammer 40k
wagafraga ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:54:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
AdventureFalls618 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, same, I'm completely clueless to this reference
kichithewolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:33:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Warhammer 40k
AdventureFalls618 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:39:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Idk what that is...
DragoonDirk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing you're on the internet.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look it up, ya daft cunt!
TESwan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can we keep it?
Morkai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:15:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pumba are you nuts?!?
ichheisseTuBBz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:40:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's the lack of 1337 that makes it tolerable.
fuckyeahmoment ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or just how rare 40K references are.
Mintperson ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:37:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't read it
starhawks ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:50:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HERESY!
taylorac2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BLAM
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:45:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i like all of them
elborracho420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's... charming.
rainbow_spunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuck yeah
RufusALyme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It reminded me of the Texts from Dog meme.
LockeSonjie ยท 156 points ยท Posted at 18:08:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still heresy, though.
fuckyeahmoment ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 18:11:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It can't not be heresy.
tyvanius ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:02:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a purgin'.
kuppajava ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:15:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
LockeSonjie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:34:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. Forgot the BLAM!
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:31:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BLAM !
There you go, you forgetfull heretic.
BeckWreck ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:09:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upon researching, comic serif looks like Steve Buscemi trying to act like a high schooler.
SoulFire6464 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of want an Eldar version now.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:33:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heretic.
thisaccountisbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's kinda random
thebrose69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention only one use of the word spork
BipedSnowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I still have to read it all, every time.
0whodidyousay0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is it though?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:45:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
War hammer maybe?
SoulFire6464 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it's Warhammer 40k.
DrummerBoy2999 ยท 127 points ยท Posted at 16:57:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This joke is beaten to death, but I actually liked this one.
Brutalitarian ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 17:00:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is this themed after?
[deleted] ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 17:08:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Warhammer 40,000.
Brutalitarian ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:19:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, thanks.
DukIsInfinite ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:07:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Warhammer
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:07:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
40k
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
W
RamblerWulf ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 21:16:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
COME CHILDREN, SIT ON MY HUGE KNEE AND LET ME TELL YOU A TALE OF THE GOD-EMPEROR, WHO IS ALSO HUGE
aalamb ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:48:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BELOVED BY ALL
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
EVERYONE IS HUGE
jyetie ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:26:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have to read through this one every time it is posted, despite knowing very little about Warhammer.
There's just something about BATTLE BROTHERS that makes me giggle stupidly.
ifistbadgers ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:22:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read everything about WH40K you can be a battle brother too!
SchalkeSpringer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:59:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No...no run /u/jyetie! My fiance has been listening to nerds talk about this whole Warhammer universe reboot for like...days. How is there so much to talk about a little toy soldiers game?? How?
It goes on and on and on. At first I tried to get into it, because hell I like some nerdy shit, too- but oh god it's been days and he's still listening to videos and there are a million gods and they keep getting axed and shot and stabbed and then returning as some new form and then it keeps going. It's been going forever.
Please send help
...oh god I can hear it still going on downstairs help me
GodlyMoose ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:13:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds a whole lot like heresy too me.
jyetie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:09:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry about me, my comic book shop only has rpg and MtG night. :( And I just bought a ton of dice and the 5e player's handbook. I need to wait for my nerd spending money to replenish, and damn those metal dice are beautiful. Dice could become my new obsession.
Is it like really advanced chess or something?
You can throw some of my dice at them until they go away. D4 are awfully pointy.
Tasgall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow, that just reminded me I want to buy these...
jyetie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. Those are beautiful.
Tasgall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know D:
I really want to get them, but can't justify spending like, $80 on brass 3d printed dice :(
ifistbadgers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:33:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Buy him the DAWN OF WAR games. they're super cheap on steam. You'll never see him again. 10/10 would ruin marriage again.
SchalkeSpringer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I bought him some of the Civilisation games I'm already concerned about him sleeping/eating enough at the moment.
He was a competitive Blood Bowl player for a while(he was an international champ a few years ago), and I know he won a Warhammer tournament (the basement is just stuffed with tables of little figure dudes and scenery).
Part of me wants to get into his hobby to support him but shit, I have this mental block that was hammered into me through high school and university that only losers and dorks play those kind of games. That makes me kinda sad since I'm sure I'd enjoy it if I could get over the cringing. I just hear this stuff and I physically cringe from the dorkiness. I'm slowly working on it since it's a stupid hangup. I mean warhammer stuff on 8chan always makes me laugh, and it's clearly got a massive universe of lore and history and stuff.
Okay so I will grab Drawn of War for him and try and be a good wife-to-be.
he's listening to more warhammer vidoes right fucking now, oh my god
ifistbadgers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're doing the Emperor's work madamme. He is lucky.
SchalkeSpringer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you so much for the suggestion! He always does nice little stuff for me and having nice stuff to do for him is great.
LastChance22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never played the tabletop game... bought one of their books explaining the lore. Now I'm a battle brother too. but seriously the book's pretty awesome.
Mingan88 ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 17:19:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Greetings, everyone. I am new. (One second โ let me get this spork out of the way.) My name is Katy, but you can call me the Penguin of Doom. (Iโm laughing aloud.) As you can plainly see, my actions have no pattern whatsoever. That is why I have come here. To meet similarly patternless individuals, such as myself.
I am 13 โ mature for my age, however! โ and I enjoy watching Invader Zim with my girlfriend. (I am bisexual. Please approach this subject maturely.) It is our favorite television show, as it adequately displays stochastic manners of behavior such as we possess.
She behaves without order โ of course โ but I wish to meet more individuals of her and my kind. As the saying goes, โthe more, the merrier.โ
Ah, it is to laugh. Anyway, I hope to make many friends here, so please comment freely.
Doom!
That is simply one of many examples of my random actions. Ha, ha. Fare thee well. I wish you much love and waffles.
Yours,
The Penguin of Doom.
brilliantlyInsane ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:48:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. It's actually readable.
Eurynom0s ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:39:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2 r34d4bl3 im0
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:57:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kyzrin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The original version of that makes me so very, very uncomfortable.
politicaldan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:47:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you think Katy feels? She's probably got kids by now...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
politicaldan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:38:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's see here. Ten years down the road, and she has three kids by two different guys, neither of whom are in the picture anymore. She works as a secretary/receptionist for a small, struggling heating/air company. Her dream is to go back to school to learn medical billing, maybe even be a nurse, but it's really hard to save money with so many bills. Her and her girlfriend drifted apart and now except for the occasional like on Facebook, don't even communicate. She's not even sure where she lives or what she does. Not that it matters, she was just a middle school friend that she kissed a few times before meeting her first "real" boyfriend. It was to be the first of many hard lessons and painful disappointments for Katy. In time, life would burn all the spunk and randomness out of her.
I wonder how close I am.
brilliantlyInsane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:38 on August 26, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...oh.
z500 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:52:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Stochastic" gets me every time.
redgarrett ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol i'm so stochastic!!1!
Myndsync ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:34:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
who let the Ultramarine in?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:39:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FOR THE EMPARAH!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Commander Boreal, enemies in the perimeter.
Blue_Bi0hazard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! We will overwhelm themm and leave none alive!
With our stheel rain this allows to provide similtainious strikez
We are the spazz marinez we are the emprahs fury!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:49:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Glory to the Imperium.
Astrokiwi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FLOOD FOR THE FLOOD FLOD!
RhiBrahn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sanity...is for the weak! DOWN WITH THE EMPIRE!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
.
violetplague ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This works especially well when read in the voice of Indrick Boreale
kunk180 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate the original version, but I have yet to see an evolved version i haven't liked.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least it isn't the normal heresy that gets thrown around on Reddit.
Lazerspewpew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME YOU TRIFLING WORM!?
RipsGigante ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blood for the Blood God??
aalamb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BLAM!
HERESY!
Analigator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hi every1 im new!!!!! charges mah lazr my name is ted but u can call me Anonymous!!!!!!!! lolโฆas u can see im very random!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _โฆ im 22 years old (i still live w/ my mom tho!!) i like 2 look at mudkip threads with my trap girlfriend (im str8 if u dont like it gtfo) its our favorite kindof thred!!!! bcuz their SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lolโฆneways i hope 2 make alot of friends here so give me lots of replieses! DESUDESUDESUDESUDESU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _ heheโฆtoodles!!!!!
traps and cp,
Anonymous Edit: words
Apkoha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up pizza slice my name is katy but u can call me t3h m3rC w1f 4 M0utH!!!!!!!! lolโฆas u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _โฆ im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 read Deadpool w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite comic!!! bcuz hez SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lolโฆneways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of upboats!!!! CHIMICHANGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ heheโฆtoodles!!!!!
love and not spider man,
t3h m3rC w1f 4 M0uTh
Vendoban ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FOR TAU
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SUCH HERESY.
IT MUST BE PURGED.
somesortofusername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omg youre so random!
Narwhalbaconguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
Quack445 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DEATH TO THE FALSE EMPEROR! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
Amphabian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like some stupid shit we'd have to say during mass formation.
DrChimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahah well played. I read that as Morbo from Futurama
GengarAllenPoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is this from?
Seifersythe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God damn chuunis.
KneeDeepInTheDead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hadnt seen this one yet, neat!
Blue_Bi0hazard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read this in captain diametes voice
Shadowclone442 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was pretty fucking random
philipquarles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you feeling ok, Katy? You didn't take any of Daddy's special vitamins, did you?
randomzinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skyrim belongs to the Nords!
skippydogo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me when choosing between storm cloaks and the empire.
itsbentheboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PRAISE THE EMPEROR YOU FUCKING HERETICS
Regorek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi everyone I'm smart!!!!!!! holds up wrench my name is engineer but you can call me the STEM graduate!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see I'm very intelligent!!!! That's why i came here, to meet intelligent people like me... I'm 23 years old (still have problems talking to stupid people tho) I like to watch Mythbusters with my girlfriend (she's smart too, if you don't like girls being in science classes gtfo of here) It's our favorite tv show because it's SOOOO scientific!!!! shes smart to, of course, but I want to meet more intelligent people because dumb people are really dumb =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...anyways I hope to make a lot of smart friends here so give me lots of comments!!!! When ax2 + bx + c = 0, x = (-b +/- โ(b2 + 4 * a * c) / 2 * a) <--- me being smart again ^ _ ^ hehe...toodles!!!!!
love and metric system,
~the STEM graduate~
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PRAISE THE EMPEROR.
PixelOrange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
Dracovitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god my sides. I can't stop imagining an friggin Ultramarine saying this in the middle of battle.
TheOnlyRoyaL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I read this in Hulk Hogan's voice, and it made it 100 times better.
bicyclingdonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read this in Hulk Hogan's voice.
fallopian_wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Emperor protects.
SlicedBananas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD IMPERIUM SCUM!!!!!!
BIueRanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FOR THE EMPEROR BROTHERS!!!!! Ultramarines 3rd company.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay yea I kinda like this one
EpilepticAuror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck your Corpse-God, humie!
Graf_Blutwurst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did not come here expecting 40k twists on copy pasta. I am very pleased. May the omissiah bless your powerspork
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everytime someone mentions the R word on a public forum, you get something like this.
davevm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm OK with this
cmhlop72 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:17:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PURGE THE HERETICAL SCUM!!!
FOR THE EMPEROR!!!
Liquidmentality ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:48:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can live with this.
Sindja ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:39:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I love you.
Drazla ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:50:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My new favorite
ifistbadgers ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:17:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FUCK YES! FOR THE EMPEROR!!!
frisbeedog1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:21:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this one more than the original
Shpeple ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...and Reddit goes full retard, again.
A_Waskawy_Wabit ยท 177 points ยท Posted at 17:52:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hoi ieder1 ik ben nieuw hier!!!!!! hout spork omhoog mijn naam is katja maar je kan me ook d3 p1ngu1n v4n v3rd03m3n1s noeme!!!!!!! haha...zoals je ziet ben ik erg willekeurig!!! daarom ben ik hier, om willkeurige mensen als mij te ontmoete _... ik ben 13 jaar oud (ik ben volwassen voor mijn leeftijd hoor!!) ik kijk graag bassie en adriaan met mijn vriendin (ik ben bi als je er niet tegen kan peg gehad) het is onze favoriete tvserie!!! want het is ERRRRG willekeurig! ze is ook willekeurig natuurlijk maar ik wil meer willekeurige mensen ontmoete =) zoals ze zegge meer zielen meer vreugd!!!!! hahah...in elk geval hoop ik errug veel vrienden te maken hier dus geef me veel
opstemmetjes!!!! VERDOEMENIS!!!!!!!!!!!! <-- daar ben ik weer willekeurig geweest _^ hehe...doeiiiiiiiii! liefs en waffels,
~d3 p1ngu1n v4n v3rd03m3n1s~
InfinityGCX ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 20:40:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dear, I didn't even know this was a thing. It's even worse in your native language...
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:37:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
InfinityGCX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:47:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is. Sorta, at least.
HiMyNamesServiceDesk ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:49:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone trying to practice dutch, thank you.
Kickinthegonads ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:06:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's full of errors though, so don't use it to base your PhD paper on.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:21:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HiMyNamesServiceDesk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
closes eyes and hums for 3 seconds
Forget what?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:06:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has made me realise how reasonable my Dutch is becoming! Bedankt!
Dutchan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:51:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Zieke shit.
marwan051 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:18:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ik am willekeurig too that is de reason I altijd browse /r/random.
labalag ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:10:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Int Nederlands trekt dat nog minder op de kloten.
S1lverEagle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, bassie en adriaan, ik ben dood.
Incursus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I don't know anything about linguistics, and I realize that this is likely full of inaccuracies, but it seems that Dutch is surprisingly similar to English. Cool.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I play a game that recently got a lot of Dutch players, and I learned that there's quite a few cognates (which are words from two languages that have the same meaning as well as meaning the same thing.)
powergamer ยท 1026 points ยท Posted at 17:03:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sexually Identify as a spork. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being the perfect combination of fork and spoon. People say to me that a person being a spork is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon implant horns on my head and to curve my spine. From now on I want you guys to call me "TeH PEngUin oF d00Om" and respect my right to be random. If you can't accept me you're a sporkophobe and need to check your utensil privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:08:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This made me shudder with rage, enough, you win.
ultraguy911 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:50:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/tumblrinaction is leaking
lowbike1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are so brave.
nancyaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How should we address you, Oh Sporky One?
Beeb294 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:34:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sporks pronouns are Spork/Sporks/Sporkself.
Hingl_McCringleberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
13th.
13th PEngUin oF dOOm.
underwriter ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:53:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SRS is leaking
nipplefaces ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:05:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
triggered
YeastOfBuccaFlats ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:44:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DAE SJWs tho
Blue_Bi0hazard ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:04:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful
[deleted] ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 21:29:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I greet you all today. I am pleased to inform you that your ranks have gained another, namely, myself. Before I continue, please observe this spork, the spork being a fusion of the spoon and fork, that I am holding for you to view. My father and mother gave me the name of Katherine, but if you so desire you may address me as The Aptenodytes forsteri of Inevitable Destruction and Death.
Ha ha, I laugh, since as you are likely observing, the ways in which I choose to act fail to follow any pattern or system even under studious scrutiny. You may have realized at this moment, that is why I have chosen to attend this place. And in addition to that, I have come here in hopes of making the acquaintance of people whose choices and actions resemble mine in the ways I have described.
_... Excuse that. I momentarily paused after spontaneously providing you with an underscore. This very well could be related to my inferably unpredictable mannerisms.
I was born 13 years and a number of days less that Three Hundred Sixty Five (Or Three Hundred And Sixty Six in the case that we are currently experiencing a Leap Year, a peculiar Year in which the Second Month, February, provides a Twenty Ninth day, greater than it's typical Twenty Eight. The Leap Year occurs every fourth year excluding those that are multiples of One Hundred from the year referred to as the birth of Christ whether or not it was truly his birth year, but including those that are multiples of Four Hundred. If this description of the Leap Year is inaccurate, feel willing to inform myself) ago. You have my assurance, though, that my aspects of maturity, if quantifiable, would be far greater than that of the human aged Thirteen Years that you would expect.
I enjoy viewing television programs, perhaps most notably Invader Zim. I often watch it alongside my Significant Other, as we enjoy the company. As you may have gathered from my feminine given name, Katherine, I am female. To what may be your surprise, my Significant Other is female as well. I am not a Lesbian, a female whose attraction is directed towards other females, against what is common in females, as well as optimal for human reproduction. I am instead Bisexual, a title which refers to people whose attraction is directed towards all humans, assuming of course, that those humans are what could be described as attractive. If this fact about me offends you, I encourage you to seek peace with it on your own.
With regard to the mentioned television show, Invader Zim, it is generally considered by my Significant Other (Female) and I to be of extremely high quality, to the point of being a shoe-in for the role of our Favorite television program. It has attained this judgement for it's attribute of unpredictability. If you have followed my words with precision, you may have realized that this bears similarity to my own randomness. And as follows, my Significant Other (female) has patternless attributes as well.
Though of course, the fact that my Significant Other is unpredictable is not optimal. We satisfy each other, and yet I have always held true that a greater number of people allow for all bask in merryness much much more. For this reason, I wish to be acquainted with unsystematic individuals who seek acquaintance just as I do.
Ha ha. Once more, I laugh. To move on, it is my desire to befriend many people similar to my Significant Other (female) and I. It will be greatly appreciated to receive commentary on my words.
FEAR MY WRATH, MORTAL INSECTS. ALL WILL SUFFER BUT NEVER PERISH, FOREVER, FOR ETERNITY, PAST THE END OF TIME ITSELF. YOU SHALL LIE IN THE FIRES OF UNENDING PAIN, NEVER TO DIE, ONLY TO REGRET. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, AND SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE.
Excuse the momentary outburst. I was merely engaging in my mentioned unpredictable mannerisms. It is a minor indulgence of mine, and while it may seem to be a cornerstone of my character, I assure you that there is far more to me than that.
_^
Once again, I have mysteriously provided an underscore. This time, however, it is accompanied by a caret. It bears resemblance to an emoticon shaped like the following: _. The face bears similarity to a face made in japan-produced animated productions. It is difficult to produce on a human face in reality, however. You may interpret this as you wish.
Hehe... I pause to allow my laughter to hold dramatic effect. I with you a fine time from here forwards.
You have my love, and any leavened batter mysteriously shaped like a grid.
With regards, The Aptenodytes forsteri of Inevitable Destruction and Death.
toughbutworthit ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:18:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh
iamtheowlman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is worse than the original.
Well done!
smokey-the-beard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow...
Johann_828 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down there, Green Head.
USS_Slowpoke ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:42:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hi every1 im new!!!!! charges mah lazr my name is ted but u can call me Anonymous!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _... im 22 years old (i still live w/ my mom tho!!) i like 2 look at mudkip threads with my boyfreind (im bi if u dont like it gtfo) its our favorite kindof thred!!!! bcuz their SOOOO random!!!! hes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of friends here so give me lots of replieses!
DESUDESUDESUDESUDESU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe...toodles!!!!!
Ezmar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:13:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People rarely do anymore.
umop_apisdn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody but you will ever see this, but the other replies to this are all fucking brilliant.
PurePhoenix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did :)
umop_apisdn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well stop it!
HowBoutDemMons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw this...
umop_apisdn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well stop
Sharkn91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This site, I swear
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rules are meant to be broken
waywardwoodwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What even is this?
beebaw42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What you just said is a phrase that makes me instantly dislike you. If you let it be, it will go away. You give them a way to say their little spiel.
I_ama_Borat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time someone says "holds up spork" the reply is "don't you fucking do it". It's just as bad (or worse) as the spork joke.
jajison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow it hasn't happened yet...
vivvav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Max.
I used a spork once.
It wasn't great.
[deleted] ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 16:10:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will end you
Hyperman360 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:56:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*raises pitchspork
StresseDeserts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God I hate seeing this phrase I got in a car crash 2 years ago trying to type this to friends while driving.... So much regret
sirePURPLE ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:44:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that's not the phrase more the fact that you were texting while driving...
StresseDeserts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not blaming the phrase only stating that I don't like it because of the memories associated with it
49centsofspiltmilk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Natural selection was starting to kick in
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is actually "holds up"... but hey Rome wasn't built in a day.
NarohDethan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:35:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey katy
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CODE BLUE!
OnYourFeetMaggot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is this a reference to?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That copypasta is so unfortunately reminiscent of how I and my idiot friends acted in high school that I can't in good conscience promise that I wasn't
theteh original penguin ofdoomd00m.What have I done.
sporks_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
put me down!!!!
senor_moustache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You see what you started?
Galaxy_Ranger_Bob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is not a spork. That is a foon!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow so random man see u at FUCK YOUJ
EatingSteak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that spark made of molded polypropylene, mass produced, with a design honed to perfection to get the most sturdiness out of the least material, in order to save weight...
Which is meant to be the most cost efficient, motivated by the fact that THERE ARE SO MANY FUCKING MILLIONSMADE EVERY DAY that they're neither unusual or ""random"".
And besides, if you're doing goofy unexpected shit erratically, that's arbitrary, not random
TheSnake42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
nancyaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crouching Angeleno, hidden spork.
GilesDMT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, those are "foons"
plugerer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it a fork or is it a spoon. The perfect blend of both
wickedspork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Put me down!
minischofy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Carla no you know better
Kinteoka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WOW!! cool! awesome!!!! those are things ppl (me lol :3) say to about you!! YES Im srs!!! but not all the time haha i like being random LOL so i wannted to ask u WAFFLE lol see? im random !!! hahahaahah r u laughing with me? :3 we should be friends if u r if ur not that ok 2 i guess... but ur still cool!!!!! hahahah anyway, ima RRREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLY big FAN! of urs :3 PUMPKINZ! lolz can i be in 1 of ur videos? im ok with not being the main charecter... i can be even in the background!! maybe i can say something funny like "omg he stole my taco! or something funny like that haha! ur videos r rly good and i want to be like u 1 day! man, i want to have lots of fans like u do! and then we can hang out together and donate 2 me... LOL ok anyway just feel free to reply if u want me in ur videos! if i dont reply its usally cause im offline... i can only use computer between 6 and 7.. mom doesnt want me staying up l8 but thats fine... (shes an evil evil witch right? LOL pancakes!!!!" im ur biggest fan btw! :P haha lol see u soon! PS: omg i wrote a lot LOL Pps: uh oh! the cakes r attacking!!!! Ppps: panckes lol Pppps: hahah if u laughed with my jokes send me a video of u (irl please) of your reaction i want to see your face when you laugh on my jokes! Ppppps: ur amazing keep up the good work partner Pppppps: im not a crazy stalker in case ur wondering... Ppppppps: hope we can be best friends one day!!!! PPpppppps: LOL PIE IS ON FIRE!!!!! Ppppppppps: YOUR THE BEST!!!! Pppppppppps: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH <---- me when i watch ur videos!!! Ppppppppppps: when i play videogames i pretend 2 be u cause being u is the best Pppppppppppps: my mom keeps yelling at me to get of... .. she doesnt understand us famous ppl right? haha Ppppppppppppps: i named my cat after u :3 it used to be called Mittens (my mom named it UGH such a lame name right?...) Pppppppppppppps: :3 Ppppppppppppppps: when im in school and bullies make fun of me... i turn slowly to them with a srs look on my face and say "im friends with Alex549us3" and then they get scared... then i say "he will kick ur guys hinies and ull be sorry..." and then they run LOL!!! Pppppppppppppppps: see you soon! Ppppppppppppppppps: when can we talk? can u come to my place in 10 minutes? i told my mom to wait for that long... she wont regret it when i get to meet u >:3 Pppppppppppppppppps: OMG someone just messaged me asking to donate... WHAT. A . NOOB. XD PPPpppppppppppppppps: i spelt "friends" wrong at the beginning but i fixed it! no need to worry hahaha TAKE THAT SPELLCHECK! Pppppppppppppppppppps: i turned around and pretened to have a roblox sword and hit my mom.... shes so scared now! LOLLLL NOOOOOOB!!!! Ppppppppppppppppppppps: theres a noob hAXxing your place atm.... im gonna fight back for u! LIKE A TRUE NINJA! Pppppppppppppppppppppps: i like banananas (lol not really ok?) Ppppppppppppppppppppppps: wooooooooooooow the haxxor just said that ur a noob... imgonna teach him a BIG lesson... Pppppppppppppppppppppppps: i just pictured in my head me and u having fun and laughing on the beach ahhaah one day it can be true :3 Ppppppppppppppppppppppppps: in minecraft i built a statue of you.... its not VERY good... you can forgive me right? Pppppppppppppppppppppppppps: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFLEZ!!!! Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: Pies our totally epic and those noobs r not like pie.... hahahah THEY WISH. Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: I wish my mom was cool like my gf.... my gf is hot and cool Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: hot and cool LOL that makes sense... NOT! like a waffleburger haha Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: im not lying about haaving a gf..... trust me :3 Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: i know u trust me cause YOUR AWESOME!!! Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: UR THE ONLY ONE I WATCH ON YOUTUBE!!! ok? no need to be jealous sheeeeesh.... Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: im kidding :p LOL did I get you? PPpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: im realy strong... i can beat up haxxers.... Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: do u have an arch nemesis? im gonna beat him up for you... Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: my arch nemesis is haxxers, BUT THEY DONT STAND A CHANCE!!! hahah and im ur sidekick so ur even stronger.... Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: Someone on youtube is copying ur videos... Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: can you tell me 5 things you like? :( Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: sorry im sad :( i have to get off computer... Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: CHEEEESE! Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: cha-ching- thats the sound of me making money in future with my fans giving me donations!!! Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bye bye now Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: i told my mom and she telled me i can have 5 more minutes :) yay! lets play a game? Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: hahaha can we hang out? ;) Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: Lets internet high five! ready? 1 2 3 HIGH FIVE! Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: my mom yelled at me for hitting the computer screen too hard >> LOL Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: imagine if u dont respond to this pm.... LOL that would be so akward! XDDDDD Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: stay awesome bros :3 Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: i updated my game, u can join now :3 Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: I have to go now :((((( sheds tears see u tomorow then! okay? bye!!! WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZWAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ELI5 the spork thing
satansrapier ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:58:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you
LesFirewall ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:54:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
!!WAFFLEZ!!
VoicesDontStop ยท 718 points ยท Posted at 16:39:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
To be fair, most 10-14 year olds think they're a special little snow flake. Don't tell me you didn't go through a version of this at some point in your early teen life.
WassupWassup ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:36:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The good old middle school days
Reikaosu ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:10:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd just managed to repress that idiocy then you people brought it up again. Good job. /sarcasm
rjjm88 ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 17:51:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. I was raised to know I'm not special, but that I'm absolute crap.
ScrabCrab ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:10:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/raisedbynarcissists
[deleted] ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 19:47:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bog77 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:51:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not teenagers. It's adults looking back on their childhood and realizing their parents were self absorbed.
MidWestJoke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:18:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Self absorbed does not equal narcissism. You can be a shitty, self absorbed parent without being a narcissist.
Not saying anything bad about the sub or the people, but getting real tired of seeing the link to the sub when people discuss shitty parents.
msd011 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:02:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, it's a whole sub of people who were raised/are being raised by people who are legitimately shitty excuses for parents. Shits fucked up.
ScrabCrab ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:51:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's not.
kangareagle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolute crap. That's different from any old crap!
VoicesDontStop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry bro, ever need someone to talk to you can PM me if ya want.
ErlendJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hey, me too!
FellKnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Red Forman was your dad?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:34:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh๐ฅ. Im sorry
Lapras_Rider ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:14:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, just grew up believing I'm in a giant studio with hidden cameras pointed at me.
Shigjetar ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:27:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's ridiculous, Truman!
lemmycaution415 ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 20:46:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the term "special snowflake" is moderately annoying.
VoicesDontStop ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:46:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't think of another term at the time.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:00:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my older brother uses that term constantly whenever I bring up something that doesn't fit hit (rather narrow) worldview. so yeah, that term really gets my goat.
blamb211 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Less annoying than that stupid little flower face that tumblr also like to use. Usually in conjunction with a "friendly reminder"
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 20:50:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was special, but in a more angsty 'I don't fit in anywhere and everyone hates me' kind of way.
10 years later, I wasn't far off.
blamb211 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:23:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody likes you when you're 23.
Krail ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:01:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't like this because I thought I was special. I was like this because it's how I identified other dorky, nerdy, social outcast types to go be friends with.
VoicesDontStop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same, we called it the "Nerd Herd" we all looked out for each other and played Yu GI Oh during lunch
Pattonias ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:22:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an adult, and I think I'm a snow flake. I am unique to myself and slightly different than everyone else just like everyone else is.
The adult part makes me realize that no one gives a shit about the numerous variations of snow flake or bothers to look at it.
I am one snowflake among billions and we are all just fucking snow.
clippist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:36:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Glorious truth.
postingaccount243 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:32:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Pretty sure as soon as someone is old enough to have conscious thought, they think they're a special little snowflake. It doesn't end at 14.
bmhadoken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't end ever.
bukhtiar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:30:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Source: Am 22 and still think I'm a special little snow flake.
Opset ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Give it a few years and all of those hopes and dreams will be crushed right out of you. Then you can come join the rest of us down at the bar.
Clambulance1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:32:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but it was nowhere near as bad as holds up spork
VoicesDontStop ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:45:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I first got on reddit I was like this. We may not want to admit it, but all of us were holds up spork at one point in our lives.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:17:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I expect I am currently in that phase but am pretending I'm not.
bogweasel87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The first step to recovery is admitting it!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being 13 is tough. Not as bad as being 12, but still annoying for everyone
involved.leaderoftheinnercirc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully, some of us were shy enough to not have permanent records of it in the form of screenshots of facebook messages.
famousninja ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:03:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the things that I'm so happy about growing up at time when I did. I had all the fun of crazy outdoor adventures up until I was about 10-12, and when I hit the spork age, there wasn't any centralised communications site - only millions upon millions of fora.
GameSpy and the Planet Websites were the last bastions of my early stupidity - and now they're gone, I am free. My cousin who is ten years younger than I am is finding out the hard way.
clippist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is this 'holds up spork' you refer to?
VoicesDontStop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its a reference to a popular copy pasta.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:45:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, I'm the only one who didn't though.
Gingerdyke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
.... irony?
Roo_Gryphon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
right around that age is when kids need to be taught the hard way how reality works, we adults born in the 80s and prier need kick that special snowflake, everyone is a winner crap to the curb and drive a mac truck over it
kragnor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was supposed to stop at 14? Maybe I should see a therapist or something. Though, she'd have to be pretty damn awesome to try and tell me that I'm mental. (Better be bangin too.)
velocidyketor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why we hate it so much. We're reminded of our embarrassment.
kafka_khaos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not even close. Pretending to be bi-sexual just for attention/to be special/ etc is fairly common now, but previous generations did do that shit.
Jumpin_Jack_Flash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 13 my handle was $hArKy on StarCraft because I was hardcore as fuck. Notice the alternating caps and the dollar sign S. Fucking badass right there.
Senor_Platano ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 14 right now and I was pretty down to earth when I was 10.
only_a_name ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I personally didn't recover from that viewpoint until the age of about 35 or so : (
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone up to that point tells you you're a special snowflake. Then you realize the truth. :(
VoicesDontStop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That you are a unique individual, but no one gives a shit
Istoleabananaplant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and then I joined Reddit.
toaster_in_law ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was in 7th and 8th grade. So thankful that's over with
2PointOBoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still feel that way but another Redditor tells me it won't be long before my hopes and dreams are shattered :(
VoicesDontStop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're a unique individual, its just that no one gives a fuck.
BrtneySpearsFuckedMe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I did :'( But I got over it quickly. Still like Invader Zim, though.
VoicesDontStop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Invader Zim was fucking epic! Still watch it from time to time.
BrtneySpearsFuckedMe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ZOMG! Mee 2!! It's so random!!! XD /s
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Social media wasn't around for most of us when we were 12 is one big difference so our stupidity was kept mostly secret.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Special little snowflake."
Darth_Meatloaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't. I was too busy being angry as hell about shit that went down when I was 9.
cavilier210 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, I actually was a special snowflake... Do I win?
FearsomeForehand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but it certainly wasn't because I thought of myself as "so random".
JorusC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the Penguin of Doom shtick is adorable compared to most of the crap 13 year olds try to be.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I nanny a 12 year old. Every single day is filled with exclamations like, "Well, I just added another song to the list of songs I've memorized on piano. This one is so long- it's really impressive that I was able to memorize it!" I usually just text everything she says to my friends to keep myself from saying something snarky in return.
VoicesDontStop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prime example you have there, we all want to be special in some way, you should nurture that but don't coddle or make them believe that they're the best. There is always someone that's better than you, you have to work to be better, you aren't born being better.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't. Mostly because of horrible self esteem issues.
I did go through a militant atheist phase, though. So pick which one is worse.
Yiksta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I dislike my 10-14 self
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And with the invention of tumblr, now everyone can be a special little snowflake! Yay.
Throwawaymyheart01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:01:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone thinks they're special. Including you. Don't lie. And you are, by the way.
thelonelybiped ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:32:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, when I was 8, I'm totally not like the rest of these plebs /s
FlintStoneOran ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't go through a version of this in my early teen life, that's what makes me so special.
STEINER420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:08:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i am god
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:39:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents killed that out of me before I was 10.
Steverbeaver14 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:42:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're*
VoicesDontStop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God damn it auto correct...
Raincoats_George ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not like your parents weren't showering you with attention, telling you how special you are, and generally blowing you out of proportion. Is it any wonder that when kids start to distance themselves from their parents and develop their individuality they just naturally assume they are the Kanye West of middle school?
Unless your parents were dicks. Or you didn't have parents or something. Then it wouldn't apply to you.
VoicesDontStop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents taught me that life is hard and won't do you any favors, you have to earn and take what you need from life. At the same time they told me I was special and all that jazz.
alacrity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Early teens??!! I'm convinced most of reddit is STILL going though this.
blamb211 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, my friends and I were goofy and shit, but I never really felt like I was super special and things... That may have been my depression showing up, but still.
pottymouthgrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're*
VoicesDontStop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fewer...
pottymouthgrl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fewer?
VoicesDontStop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Game of Thrones reference
pottymouthgrl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:39:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a GoT fan and I don't get it, explain?
VoicesDontStop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the GoT subreddit there is a joke about Stanis correcting peoples grammar.
pottymouthgrl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aahhhhh gotcha
You_Dont_Know_JackPo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean everyone is special, making everyone not special.
that_nagger_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, you're talking absolute shit about everything you just said.
tagard04 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:13:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 30 and still think I'm a special little snowflake
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:20:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
relevant xkcd
PShelly ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:58:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Monkey Tacos!
AGFuzzyPancake ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:45:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This phrase makes my fucking skin crawl.
Also "I can be really random sometimes... Sorry" after saying something stupid.
Lemerney2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:15:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I have to sort my books!' she cried,
With self-indulgent glee;
With senseless, narcissistic pride:
'I'm just so OCD!'
'How random, guys!' I smiled and said,
Then left without a peep -
And washed my hands until they bled,
And cried myself to sleep.
Credit to /u/poem_for_your_sprog
acorngirl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:39:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People still say this?
R1_TC ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:40:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very much so, my sister only recently completed this horrid phase of teenagedom.
acorngirl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:55:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sympathies. With my husband's little sisters, it was LOLspeak.
R1_TC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still deal with that today. And my friends are all over 20.
acorngirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:(
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:13:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Monkey cheese!!! L0L
jondonbovi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:19:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably why I hated Zoe Deschanel so much
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least i can talk about how hot she is and not go to jail like most if the random people out there
edgar__allan__bro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:29:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bonus dislike for multiple O's of varying cases...
soooOOOOoooOOOooOoOOooo random!
AsRandomly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell did I do to you? :(
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Me and my crazy chicks! We're all so crazy!"
ApocaRUFF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's these types that completely ruined Invader Zim for me. Every "I'm random!" schmuck used Girr, or whatever that robot-in-a-dog-suit's name was, as their mascot and went on and on about how much they loved the show.
R1_TC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the same story with every decent Cartoon Network animation series that comes out, ironically it's all the people in their late teens and early twenties who think they're edgy for watching a kid's show (I do love me some Adventure Time though)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A better description would be to describe yourself as spontaneous. That sounds better and not like you trying to "be" something.
fbgfbg2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the xD at the end.
ZobmieRules ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Banana!
Potatooo!
PIE!
LOLLL
Popopopper123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lawl xDDDDDDDDDDDD
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PANCakEs
TEeHEE LOL XD SO RANDOM!1!1!2!2!!!!
ashiun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Piggybacking off this, people (most specifically teenage girls) who say "yeah I totally have ADHD too!"
HateCopyPastComments ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oranges. LOoooool im like soooo random.
4Sken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CRINGE
OuttaSightVegemite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "I'm so edgy"
Truly edgy people don't use that word. Shut the fuck up
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never really seen this outside of that one deviant art account comment reddit constantly regurgitates.
R1_TC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me, it's hugely pervasive in middle school/early high school culture, mostly among girls.
G8kpr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you forgot the random case changing of the font... needs to be
"i'M sO raNdOm1"
SonicFlash01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't ever actually seen a person say this, only people on reddit complaining about it.
Is this one of those facebook things?
karaokekyle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Potato! :3"
Kordsmeier ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so haphazard.
ohohpedestrian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even worse: YOU'RE SO RANDOM!!!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WOW!! cool! awesome!!!! those are things ppl (me lol :3) say to about you!! YES Im srs!!! but not all the time haha i like being random LOL so i wannted to ask u WAFFLE lol see? im random !!! hahahaahah r u laughing with me? :3 we should be friends if u r if ur not that ok 2 i guess... but ur still cool!!!!! hahahah anyway, ima RRREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLY big FAN! of urs :3 PUMPKINZ! lolz can i be in 1 of ur videos? im ok with not being the main charecter... i can be even in the background!! maybe i can say something funny like "omg he stole my taco! or something funny like that haha! ur videos r rly good and i want to be like u 1 day! man, i want to have lots of fans like u do! and then we can hang out together and donate 2 me... LOL ok anyway just feel free to reply if u want me in ur videos! if i dont reply its usally cause im offline... i can only use computer between 6 and 7.. mom doesnt want me staying up l8 but thats fine... (shes an evil evil witch right? LOL pancakes!!!!" im ur biggest fan btw! :P haha lol see u soon! PS: omg i wrote a lot LOL Pps: uh oh! the cakes r attacking!!!! Ppps: panckes lol Pppps: hahah if u laughed with my jokes send me a video of u (irl please) of your reaction i want to see your face when you laugh on my jokes! Ppppps: ur amazing keep up the good work partner Pppppps: im not a crazy stalker in case ur wondering... Ppppppps: hope we can be best friends one day!!!! PPpppppps: LOL PIE IS ON FIRE!!!!! Ppppppppps: YOUR THE BEST!!!! Pppppppppps: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH <---- me when i watch ur videos!!! Ppppppppppps: when i play videogames i pretend 2 be u cause being u is the best Pppppppppppps: my mom keeps yelling at me to get of... .. she doesnt understand us famous ppl right? haha Ppppppppppppps: i named my cat after u :3 it used to be called Mittens (my mom named it UGH such a lame name right?...) Pppppppppppppps: :3 Ppppppppppppppps: when im in school and bullies make fun of me... i turn slowly to them with a srs look on my face and say "im friends with Alex549us3" and then they get scared... then i say "he will kick ur guys hinies and ull be sorry..." and then they run LOL!!! Pppppppppppppppps: see you soon! Ppppppppppppppppps: when can we talk? can u come to my place in 10 minutes? i told my mom to wait for that long... she wont regret it when i get to meet u >:3 Pppppppppppppppppps: OMG someone just messaged me asking to donate... WHAT. A . NOOB. XD PPPpppppppppppppppps: i spelt "friends" wrong at the beginning but i fixed it! no need to worry hahaha TAKE THAT SPELLCHECK! Pppppppppppppppppppps: i turned around and pretened to have a roblox sword and hit my mom.... shes so scared now! LOLLLL NOOOOOOB!!!! Ppppppppppppppppppppps: theres a noob hAXxing your place atm.... im gonna fight back for u! LIKE A TRUE NINJA! Pppppppppppppppppppppps: i like banananas (lol not really ok?) Ppppppppppppppppppppppps: wooooooooooooow the haxxor just said that ur a noob... imgonna teach him a BIG lesson... Pppppppppppppppppppppppps: i just pictured in my head me and u having fun and laughing on the beach ahhaah one day it can be true :3 Ppppppppppppppppppppppppps: in minecraft i built a statue of you.... its not VERY good... you can forgive me right? Pppppppppppppppppppppppppps: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFLEZ!!!! Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: Pies our totally epic and those noobs r not like pie.... hahahah THEY WISH. Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: I wish my mom was cool like my gf.... my gf is hot and cool Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: hot and cool LOL that makes sense... NOT! like a waffleburger haha Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: im not lying about haaving a gf..... trust me :3 Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: i know u trust me cause YOUR AWESOME!!! Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: UR THE ONLY ONE I WATCH ON YOUTUBE!!! ok? no need to be jealous sheeeeesh.... Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: im kidding :p LOL did I get you? PPpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: im realy strong... i can beat up haxxers.... Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: do u have an arch nemesis? im gonna beat him up for you... Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: my arch nemesis is haxxers, BUT THEY DONT STAND A CHANCE!!! hahah and im ur sidekick so ur even stronger.... Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: Someone on youtube is copying ur videos... Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: can you tell me 5 things you like? :( Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: sorry im sad :( i have to get off computer... Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: CHEEEESE! Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: cha-ching- thats the sound of me making money in future with my fans giving me donations!!! Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bye bye now Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: i told my mom and she telled me i can have 5 more minutes :) yay! lets play a game? Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: hahaha can we hang out? ;) Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: Lets internet high five! ready? 1 2 3 HIGH FIVE! Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: my mom yelled at me for hitting the computer screen too hard >> LOL Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: imagine if u dont respond to this pm.... LOL that would be so akward! XDDDDD Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: stay awesome bros :3 Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: i updated my game, u can join now :3 Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps: I have to go now :((((( sheds tears see u tomorow then! okay? bye!!! WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZWAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ WAFFLEZ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every guy has an ex that has said this.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:22:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ron_e123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but 11th year boys are so random
istabhotlava ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"PIE"
harleq01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, from my experience, one of the best compliments you can give to a girl is that they are so unique and special and different. Conversely, one of the comments to you can say to a girl is how normal and typical they are. I kid you not, every girl Iโve talked to with a remote ounce of self-esteem think they are very special and that they think theyโre so cool because they get along with dudes but not other girls.
simplemath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little
chux4w ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it a rule that all "random" outbursts have to include cheese and/or sporks?
boredatworkinSK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so (insert any adjective)". I hate when people make declarations about themselves, especially if it has positive implications. The people who make these statements generally never are what they say they are.
DarkDubzs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holds up spork
z3rp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly "I'm an enigma".
LinksMilkBottle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too! xD 3^
snap_wilson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What most people don't realize..."
Translation: Let me explain how I'm smarter than everyone else.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I used to be this guy. Totally stupid and craving attention all under the wanted guise of being unique and fun. I was fucking obnoxious. But my friend accidentally cured me. He tried to set me up with a girl who he said was like me. Holy shit. It took less than two minutes to see how fucking annoying I was. My personality changed instantly and permanently. I didn't know man.
Illidan1943 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Greetings, everyone. I am new. (One second โ let me get this spork out of the way.) My name is Katy, but you can call me the Penguin of Doom. (Iโm laughing aloud.) As you can plainly see, my actions have no pattern whatsoever. That is why I have come here. To meet similarly patternless individuals, such as myself.
I am 13 โ mature for my age, however! โ and I enjoy watching Invader Zim with my girlfriend. (I am bisexual. Please approach this subject maturely.) It is our favorite television show, as it adequately displays stochastic manners of behavior such as we possess.
She behaves without order โ of course โ but I wish to meet more individuals of her and my kind. As the saying goes, โthe more, the merrier.โ
Ah, it is to laugh. Anyway, I hope to make many friends here, so please comment freely.
Doom!
That is simply one of many examples of my random actions. Ha, ha. Fare thee well. I wish you much love and waffles.
Yours,
The Penguin of Doom.
muhammadfarts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anything self proclaiming.
randompasta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sniff. I am random...
scrogglez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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"I'm schizophrenic like that." alinksaveparenteditdisable inbox repliesdeletereplied
[โ]scrogglez 1 point just now
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permalinksaveparenteditdisable inbox repliesdeletereplied
[โ]scrogglez 1 point just now
"I'm schizophrenic like that."
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Explodingcamel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd
Meley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wildcard!!
MidWestJoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exchange random for weird, nerdy, dorky and we have a winner.
I mean there are times when I'm like "yeah, I'm weird" but not because I want everyone to know that I'm weird. It's because people are usually staring blankly at me and I use it as a brush off for my most awkward social moments.
Very_Sharpe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God yes, this is the worst. "Oh I think you mean please pay attention to me... Dick"
HaywoodJablomie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I excel at random.
orky56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be surprised but that makes you even more predictable.
puzzleddaily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's ran-dom.
zebbodee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and "Ooooh I'm crazy me haha" from a person with a brightly coloured cartoon tie who will then go in to detail about the finer points of spreadsheet functions and the fundamental differences between cottage cheese and soft cheese. Though I'm sure some people might classify that as crazy.
Colts1984 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ain't right
Masterreefer420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does anyone bring this up? It was an annoying fad 8 years ago. I haven't heard anyone say this seriously since myspace was a thing
jerkmanj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, you mean like just like everything else that happens in the universe?
cultured_banana_slug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Genuine random people just stare at you and go, "I'm normal, perfectly normal," while they shove dead squirrels into their backpacks.
Normal people have hobbies. Theirs is taxidermy.
...this one is going to ride a little Harley... and this one is going to be fighting a dragon... hehehehee.
Then they look at you.
NORMAL.
If you're nice they'll let you see the goat with two heads.
c-honda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unique, just like everyone else.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one makes me feel old. When my teenager started saying this a few years ago, I didn't realize it was a thing. I just thought he really didn't know what random meant.
ClassyMoves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if his first name is SO and last name is RANDOM?
NerdGirlJess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which is actually VERY predictable.
Monkeycurtain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do people still say this? I kinda thought it was a 90's thing. Maybe it's just all teenagers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You would love Ja'mie
noquarter53 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-Ja'mie King
DMercenary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*holds up a spork
bulkygorilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"and I'm so awkward!"
LetMeGDPostAlready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right the fuck on. Also, "OMG, that's so random!" "That was RANDOM!" "You'll love my friend Blake.--He's SO RANDOM!"
First of all, I'm sure I won't. And second, for someone who uses the word 'random' so frequently, Sarah, you don't really seem to have any fucking idea what the word actually means.
SgtPecker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say just this.
ffxivthrowaway03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's right up there with "I'm so basic"
No, you're not "basic," and coming up with a kitschy buzzword for being a twat doesn't make it magically ok to be a twat.
howtochoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If this is early/mid teenhood hang in there. Itll pass soon and come back in a different form later. If this isn't about 14/15 years old then we have a problem...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So...you start shit at parties when you don't get attention?
powersoftyler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holds up spork
zorro1701e ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Battle cry of teenagers who long to stand out. Really random people don't have to announce if.
clemkaddidlehopper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do people still say this? In real life?
ircoleton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone know the link to the profile of the girl that posted something similar to this?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even worse is when you're thinking about something and tell a friend either in person or over text and they say "that was so random" or "youre so random". Ugh.
BryceTheBrisket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
XD
Janawa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol #omgeegetOUTAAhere!
ArsenalOwl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've only ever heard this from people on reddit making fun of a group that, for all I've seen, doesn't exist.
Boarf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:15:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this cliche died in 2002, coincidentally that's when I finished high school.
mustardtiger86 ยท 3777 points ยท Posted at 16:14:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The customer is always right"
whoever coined that phrase is a real shithead
whiznat ยท 865 points ยท Posted at 19:34:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase is attributed to Harry Gordon Selfridge. He never meant it to mean that customers have the right to abuse store employees. People who think it does are the real shitheads.
gnoani ยท 136 points ยท Posted at 20:48:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a society, we should embrace a shift towards stores being a little more liberal with kicking awful customers out into the fucking street.
_AllWittyNamesTaken_ ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:28:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmmmm somewhat. We forget that the demographics that make up the customer also make up the employee. Too much power and some employee is gonna get his first power trip.
publicfrog ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 01:16:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the very least, if a customer is breaking a rule/law, the manager shouldn't reprimand the employee holding up the rule while caving to whatever ridiculous demands the customer has. Sure, not every screaming child will be kicked out, but at least kick out the one screaming kid that's destroying merchandise while the parent plays on their phone saying "kids will be kids".
rctsolid ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:39:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, you might find a lot of places do this already. I used to work in a supermarket, sometimes customers would request things which were simply unfeasible and completely unreasonable, so I'd just say no. They would complain to my manager and my manager would essentially tell them "tough shit".
publicfrog ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:52:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've had mostly awesome managers in the past. I remember my first manager would always stick up for her employees, and did enforce rules. Once a kid opened and ate some candy, the mother said she refused to pay for it because she didn't give her kid permission to do that. My manager said that she had to pay for the candy, or else she'd be banned from the store. Once a woman said she returned something (video rental, it was a decade ago) and she handed it to an employee, so the employee must have failed at scanning it. My manager started grilling the customer on which employee it was, unfortunately she said it was a man and we had an all-female staff at the time; that lady had to pay for the lost movie.
On the other hand, my manager felt the need to call me to her office and talk to me because a patient (I work healthcare now) complained that I didn't smile enough. I wasn't even helping her, I was sitting elsewhere in the room while a coworker helped her.
Some managers are awesome, some aren't. /r/TalesFromRetail can give you thousands of examples of managers doing shit like accepting expired coupons and writing up clerks as being rude for denying them, despite the fact that the same manager told them to never accept expired coupons.
validworldwide ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:29:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For the smiling complaint...What are you supposed to do? Just sit at your computer smiling at it like a weirdo? What a weird complaint. A lot of people can look very serious if they're engrossed in their work, I know I do. But again, who cares if you're not dealing directly with a customer/patient.
publicfrog ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:21:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst part is she works for the same company in a different department. Ugh, some people just don't know how to exist properly.
willienelsonmandela ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:37:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when I'm super focused on work and people keep saying "What's wrong?" Or asking why I look so pissed or sad. I'm just focusing you fuck.
munky82 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is the old advice that if you want to walk somewhere and not be disturbed or stopped, hold a pen in the writing position and frown. Most people will think you are in the middle of something and won't disturb you.
validworldwide ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:52:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've gotten that too! Same exact thing. I'm just focusing so maybe my brow is furrowed and I'm not smiling but that doesn't mean nothing is wrong. I bet men never get bothered with this question. If a woman isn't smiling and upbeat then something must be wrong!
bortnib ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:36:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in finance doing administration so literally sitting in front of a computer typing stuff all day and my manager bought up the "issue" that i looked unhappy while at my desk working. I explained to him i cant help my resting bitch face...
arachnophilia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:57:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i was in line once at the local video store renting a movie (more than a decade ago). the customer in front of me was throwing a fit, yelling at the cashier about late charges for a movie he'd said he'd returned that was somehow now many months late, swearing up and down that he'd brought it back, distinctly remembered handing it to someone behind the counter, etc.
i stepped out of line from behind him, and went behind the counter. i was, i think, the acting assistant manager at the time. i looked at the late charge, and knew what happened.
"sir, is there any chance you accidentally brought this movie back to the wrong store? say, maybe one of our competitors?"
this didn't help, obviously. more anger, more professing that we were making things up and screwing him over.
"okay, well, that's all well and good, but somehow it ended up at the blockbuster on the other side of the city, and i know this for a fact because i personally picked it up from there and brought it here. i'm sorry, as far as i can tell these charges are valid, and i can't remove them. you're lucky i picked it up when i did, a few more days and it would have gone to collections..."
i probably could have done something about the charges if he wasn't an asshat.
publicfrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We had a blockbuster across the street, so we each got each other's videos all the time. I loved it, I considered it a paid break to just stroll over outside in the fresh air.
We also got movies that had been bought. Something from a place like best buy that had no stickers on it, I'm assuming one person bought it and their spouse returned it by mistake. We'd wait a month or so, then divy them up between us. Sometimes the manager would split them between people who did did shitty jobs that were always being put off, worked inventory nights (25,000 individual movies in the place, it was a loooong night) as an extra prize, which was nice since I was too young to to drink one of the beers brought in. Thank you unobservant strangers, you bolstered my movie collection with such wonderful titles as The Whole Ten Yards and Cheaper By The Dozen (I hoped they watched them, cause I never did).
arachnophilia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:43 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ours was across the street from a mom+pop with a "back room". we got some interesting returns from time to time.
i think the best movie i got from a mistaken return was office space.
publicfrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:52 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just realized, what if people were returning such awful movies to us as a way of getting rid of them? They couldn't think of anyone else who would want Must Love Dogs, but they figured we could at least sell it or something? I knot it's not true, but it would totally make sense.
Faiakishi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:51:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every workplace differs. Some places are pretty good about dealing with asshole customers, but far too many of them just bow to their wishes because moneyz. I worked at a movie theater in high school and customers would blatantly rip us off on a daily basis, management didn't give a shit. It was ridiculous what people got away with.
conquer69 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:06:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think everyone should work retail for 6 months. It could be part of the school program.
Emily_McAwesomepants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I didn't know him but I've heard stories about out old manager. He used to kick customers out of the store. He always put his employees first.
There was a time where a customer insulted the person at customer service. So the manager lept over the 4 foot tall and 3 foot wide counter and got in their face and made them leave.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stores do what makes them the most money. It has nothing to do with culture, it's just about what businesses intrinsically are.
gnoani ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:25:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not all of them. Some stores are run under moral principles and care about the wellbeing of their employees, beyond their immediate value as profit-makers.
LetMeGDPostAlready ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:50:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the basic idea of the phrase is, "You don't really, at any point, unless given no other choice, want to tell the customer to go fuck himself. He's here to give you his money. Try to accommodate him."
TooLateHotPlate ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:01:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a marketing strategy. "Shop here at our store because the customer is always right!" they mean like if you want to wear white after Labor Day, not if you want to argue about prices with cashiers...who have no say in how or why items are prices.
irishking44 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:06:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is another side effect of the minimum wage job culture that corporatism created. Those employees making 7 an hour don't see those people as customers, but the enemy to their progress andr sanity. Why should they care, they don't get jack if corporate service goals are met
lostmonkey70 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:44:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, those customers acting like assholes makes them the enemy of sanity. Work in a call center where you take first touch calls for a week and tell me you don't hate all of humanity at the end of each day.
conquer69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:09:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disliked many customers but I hated when they were calling for legit complains due to fuck ups of other employees/sales.
happypirate33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love that PBS show.
torofukatasu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that guy looks dapper as fuck
cbickle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cough Panera Bread cough
DArtagnann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did he sell a lot of fridges?
shoopdedoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
His is an ancient line of refrigerator salesmen.
_Bones ยท 1336 points ยท Posted at 19:04:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not used in the appropriate context anymore. Customers are right from a supply and demand, macroeconomic market forces perspective. The old lady who insists that the chalupa I brought her is not a chalupa, but some other thing I just made up, and clearly the restaurant employees don't know which foods are which, well she's just a dumb bitch hiding behind the spinelessness of lower management.
whoizz ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 19:21:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Corollary: The customer always thinks they're right.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:27:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Caveat: The type of customer who thinks they're always right is actually just a shitheel human that thinks it's always right, regardless of the context of the interaction involved.
gnoani ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:47:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fixed.
redditmarks_markII ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's true of everyone period. We are all the protagonist in our own story. Even people like lab techs who are supposed to be running experiments watching out for their own misconceptions or failures aren't THINKING they are wrong, just aware it may happen. I don't think I'm wrong about something, I conclude I was mistaken once the facts are in.
11bulletcatcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Addendum: However, this is never true.
Dreamcast15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody always thinks they are right, not just customers.
Dapperdan814 ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 23:54:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We Reserve The Right to Refuse Service to Anyone"
Why isn't that used more often?
Neri25 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 00:12:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Corporate doesn't have your back 9 times out of 10.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:42:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an Electrician, this is actually true. I can refuse to do work rather easily if it's a safety concern, and that can include demanding that my customer be deloused.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:32:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:23:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't have adequate PPE to be anally violated today. Yeah, the company doesn't provide that and I left mine at home.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not even true anymore.
zoso1012 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is as long as you don't give a reason
jinxjar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:29:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait -- was it one of those lines that was used in context a total of once, at the time of its birth, then never again?
paralog ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:33:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A chalupa is a small boat! IT IS A SMALL BOAT!
MoneyCantBuyMeLove ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:41:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, I think this applies to most phrases in this thread.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:17:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about if someone bitches that the potato you gave them is too small (I work at Wendy's). Maybe it shouldn't have but that pissed me off so damn much. I wanted to slap the shit out of that little old lady. Same kinda person that would call our generation entitled. Some goddamn bullshit.
famousninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The federal treasurer of the country I live in call the time my generation lives in "The Age Of Entitlement." This is also the same motherfucker who believes that the easiest way to own a house is to "get a good job", as well as claiming that public transport isn't worth funding because everyone has cars - except poor people, they don't have cars because they haven't got a "good job".
Damn it shits me.
Hateborn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:43:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The original context was an emphasis on taking customer complaints seriously and working to resolve them if they were reasonable. Over decades, the original meaning was lost and too many people try to take it literally now, taking it to mean that the customer can do no wrong. It was always meant to be a slogan championing taking the customer seriously, not capitulating to their every demand.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chalupas are the shit.
oddmanout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:05:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right. It means if customers prefer red widgets and you only sell blue, you find a way to sell red widgets.
It's like when they first designed pickup trucks. They were for work, but people liked them for personal use, so they started designing for personal use.
wiithepiiple ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Take this chicken salad sandwich back: it's cold."
PinkyandzeBrain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like the way you said macroeconomic market forces perspective, and then chalupa. It's Iike you're some sweet breaded economist of death.
gereffi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:28:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that is the real context. The owner of a restaurant wants to do whatever he can to make sure that his customers have a good time and come back. That means that if you cook a steak medium well and the customer wants it to be cooked more, despite asking for medium rare, you cook the steak more. If the customer changes his mind on what he wants after the cooks started making his order, it's generally better to start over and make the customer happy rather than say no and never have the customer return again.
It's not a great phrase to hear if you work in the service industry, but it makes sense from the owner's perspective.
walterpeck1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even at my shitty retail job they changed it to "the customer is always first."
droo46 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So it should be, customers as a large group are right. Sometimes.
SingleLensReflex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not lower management being spineless, they still have to follow their superior's orders.
FalloutMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can not agree more. One thing I've learned working in restaurants for the past 4 years or so, if you complain enough to the manager, you will usually get your shit comped because they don't want to deal with it anymore. That or your food remade for free.
uberfission ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:20:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading the origin of that phrase, it doesn't mean the customer can do no wrong, it means that the customer gets what they say they want even though a different product would be better for them.
TheNoodlyOne ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:24:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically "the customer knows what they want."
nowonmai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Knows what they think they want.
BW_Bird ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:30:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a call center. Got that line all the time.
My automatic comeback is "that phrase made Elmer Fudd chase Bugs Bunny around a restaurant for 15 minutes"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:05 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
BW_Bird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:24 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the comeback or the actual Looney Tunes episode?
I could get the link for the episode but I actually came up with the quote myself :)
Torvaun ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:01:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst thing about that phrase is the customer heard it.
eldeeder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:26:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this phrase is more suited towards restaurants and idiotic customers seem to think it applies to physics as well. I think the way that phrase is intended is that a customers perception is their reality. If they say their steak isn't medium rare, it's not medium rare. Now if a hotel tells you they have no rooms left, they have no rooms left.
bubba_feet ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:14:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well he's dead now, if that makes you feel any better.
FAYZ18 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:21:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at Walmart as a CSM. My store manager loves the phrase "make the customer happy." Basically that always results in us losing money. He gave a customer half a buggy of school supplies the other day because her new credit card had an ICC chip and was asking for a PIN number. We couldn't bypass it on our side. She was throwing a fit when he walked up. He smiled and said that she could have the stuff for free because "of the inconvenience we were providing."
thegoodspiderman ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:33:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry, your card was denied. Do you have another form of payment?"
"Bull shit! I have over $13,000 dollars in my account. Swipe it again. This is outrageous."
I gladly swipe it again and tell them the same thing.
TheNonis ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:18:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What a coward. This is how people get credit card fraud.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
FAYZ18 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:01:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Our store manager wants to give the store away. One comanager will give the customer anything because he doesn't want it to get back to to the store manager. The other is a rock hard bitch. Half our assistants cater to the customer while the other half stand by policy. Then we have our asset protection manager constantly saying that he's going to get everyone on the same page in the store when he hands out new policy. It's just a giant cluster fuck. My previous store had everyone on the same page.
Helios-Apollo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't it be funny if we're actually coworkers who didn't know each other's reddit accounts?
TheDrewzy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:29:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a former chic fil a employee this phrase was the bane of my existence. When people know you have to do anything to appease them they will try all manner of things
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:48:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The customer is always tight
carlin_is_god ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:59:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not meant to be literally true, it's just a policy so you keep customers happy and coming back to spend money. Everyone knows the customer is likely wrong.
randomkontot ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:52:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had someone use that one me working tech support. He wanted a replacement phone right away, without any repair taking place. Told him it wouldn't happen. Wanted to speak to a manager, which I refused as he wouldn't get another answer.
"is the customer always right?? " "i won't transfer you to a manager because you're not going to get another answer" "IS THE CUSTOMER ALWAYS RIGHT?" "in this instance? No" "oh fuck right off"
He hung up. Felt good. Yes he was a brit. Proper cunt.
random314 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably a successful business owner.
RobinBankss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:57:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that the customer is always right.
It's just that they're never "wrong".
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:41:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a Managed Services Provider. I find that it's a good guideline to avoid faux pas' that the customer is never wrong, but they're not always right.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:41:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to speak to your manager about this
Kenny__Loggins ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:20:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand how people don't understand the intention of this quote. It means the basically do what you can to appease the customer to get the sale. It makes sense. It doesn't mean the customer is literally always right or that you have to take their shit.
ikorolou ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:22:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ummm no? It means you should sell what people are buying. The customer always is right about what a store should stock because the customer is the one buying the thing that's in stock.
The customer is always right about what should be being sold to them
Kenny__Loggins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:33:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was broader than that.
ikorolou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I've always understood it
Dark_Azazel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try working at kohls with that shit. I worked over nights because I hate people; shoppers. But by the store rules everyone had to work at least once during the day. A lady comes to the register with a shirt I remember hanging up and I know the price was $60 and when I told her she said "oh well it said it was only 30" i the. Told her how she was wrong and the store manager came over, apologized for my horrible actions and let her pay 30 for it. I then showed my manager that the lady was bullshitting and brought her to the shirts priced at $60. She said "That doesn't matter, the customer is always right." And walked away.
Fuck that place.
109876 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It really should just be: "The market is always right".
Individual customers can be absurd, but when a bunch of individuals make up a market, you can't fight their collective demands.
Emily_McAwesomepants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. I had a customer use this on me. While I was cleaning an absolutely destroyed fitting room. Because she was too lazy to walk the 10 feet to the other fitting room. And she was like "THE CUSTOMER COMES FIRST HOW DARE YOU DO THIS"
Why the fuck do you think I'm cleaning this fucking room? To make your life harder you entitled bitch?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:15 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Customers are the dumbest fucking people on the planet. I'm convinced that getting behind a grocery cart must lower one's iq by at least 30 points.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:16:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a McDonald's recently and a cashier said this to a customer she was helping.
She was obviously new, both the cashiers working at the time were (young, taking a long time to take orders, giggling.) The customer was very helpfully working along with the cashier. She said "Well, the customer is always right" and the customer responded, "Well, sometimes they're not."
heatherilene ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoever coined that phrase never worked in customer service.
SwagYoloJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not to be taken literally. It means that the goal a business should strive for is to make its customers happy, whatever it takes. Customers are the ones making them money, after all.
Our huge, hyper PC company even made this idea one of its "core values". And yes, we're expected to bend over backwards for our customers, but that's how it's supposed to be everywhere.
ZenRage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That asshole isn't a customer because he's wrong.
poisonoushamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't Mr. Krabs use this at one point?
mtdnml ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The money is always right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a phrase, more of a store policy. If you work in customer service, as I have for many years, the best way to handle a customer is to try and make them happy. Even if they're not right, act as if they are.
ChrisHutch90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My response with one customer who uttered that line. "No sir, the customer is not always right. We have a business to run."
Very_Sharpe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Actually sir, these 16 pages of evidence are right... And they say you're wrong"
Default_Admin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was coined by some small town grocery store or something. I learned about that phrase when I worked for Walmart. Clearly I paid attention.
MyDaddyTaughtMeWell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite Dilbert comic.
SparroHawc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really like something I read that stated that the phrase is correct as long as a "customer" is someone who makes you money.
Ergo, if they aren't making you money, they aren't a customer.
I will not give you this for half off just because you think you should get it for half off, I would lose money. If that's representative of the kind of business you bring, I want no part of it.
TheAllRightGatsby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought this was more of a warning from management to retail/service employees. Like, "Yeah she's stupid as hell, but she's also paying us, so just act like the customer is always right so I don't have to fire you as an example or something to save face when she complains." I didn't think anyone actually thought the customer is always right, right?
c00kies44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was customer #2902
CurNoSeoul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'It puts the products in the basket or else it gets the hose again' would have been more helpful.
frothface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God do I hate when people say 'always', then treat you like an a-hole when you point out the obvious flaw. Like something that happens once a week that breaks their rule.
davesoverhere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. The customer isn't always right, but the are always the customer.
dannypants143 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My interpretation of this statement is not that the customer is actually always right, but may as well be. Basically, I think it means that you won't get anywhere productive by challenging customers directly regarding their perception of reality. All that tends to bring is more trouble. Better to come alongside them and work with them. Don't convince them they're wrong; instead, convince them that what you collaborate on was their idea!
Just finished a motivational interviewing book, so your mileage may vary.
teamrudek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
get out of my store asshat, i'm not selling you anything.
EverLiving_night ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck whoever says that, 8 times out of 10 the customer is an arrogant moron who hasn't got a clue as to what they're even on about.
lordtuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Used to manage a cfa, and I always told my employees that the customers isn't always right, however, the customer always comes first.
eeyore134 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Ironically it was the businesses themselves that started it. It was a way to try to motivate employees to give good customer service. It was just a catch phrase. But then the customers themselves caught wind of it, which isn't too hard when the people working there and hearing it every day were also customers, and it spiraled out of control. It became a policy instead of a kitschy phrase.
Now customers expect it and the companies tend to give in and the employees are the ones caught in the middle. The employees get grief on both ends because the company expects them to deescalate the complaints before having to give into their demands and the customers expect the employees to give into their demands. When the employee tries to uphold actual policy then the customer, who is always right, demands to see a manager. The manager gives in, makes the employee look bad, encourages the "customer is always right" behavior in the customer, and the vicious cycle continues.
foxden_racing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Much like 'A rolling stone gathers no moss' [do not change for the sake of change], 'The customer is always right' was meant to put stubborn executives in their place. It doesn't matter what you tell the customer they want. What they buy is what matters...ergo, the customer is always right.
mrdavisclothing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a cabbie who had retired from setting up and managing the small cafeterias at Greyhound bus stations. I asked him if he liked it.
He told me one of the things he liked about the job was that he didn't have to assume that the customer was always right and could kick them out of the station as was often necessary.
"When you are managing a small cafeteria in a Greyhound Bus station late at night, not only is the customer not always right, the customer is almost always wrong..."
ImSteve1012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a right to refuse service for a reason.
OuttaSightVegemite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. Just no. The customer is barely ever right but we have to make them feel like they are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The customer is always wrong. Literally every time. Most customers can't even spell their own names.
Bigman675 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Places like Chick-fil-a have that type of attitude and it works extremely well for them. When they have a mean customer they kind of kill them with kindness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you get down to it, good customer service is about enabling customers to be entitled.
phalliceinchains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, at my grandfather's company it was "The customer is always right, even when they're wrong." Might be worse but in general he built a successful company and people in the company seem to admire him.
bqnguyen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who works in IT, the customer is almost NEVER right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read somewhere that the original quote was " the customer is never wrong"
I'll do it however you want, but don't assume doing things the way you want if you didn't tell me how you want it done. Sorry our asparagus isn't big long stalks, we chop it because it's easier to eat and looks different. If you want big long stalks I can do that but don't be mad when you didn't ask how its served.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/starbucks
/r/walmart
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely am on my best behavior at every store and restaurant. Just because of how absolutely shitty the people I've dealt with are both customers and management teams alike.
Working retail and food industry really changes you.
Splitstix456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a hotel and the customer is only right about 6% of the time.
Targaryen-ish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically, the only people who can actually effectively fire every single employee, including the shareholders, are the customers. They don't buy, then you, Sir, don't own a business for long.
lissit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever people say that I always think, "then why are you asking my advice?" (I work in skincare.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like my manager's version; "The customer is almost always wrong, we just let them think they're right until they leave."
Droidball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ribald Barterman, at'yer service."
arnsonj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The guy who invented that died an extremely rich man
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I understand that. If the customer wanted a small and you've given them a large, go get them a small. Having said that, if you've done your best and they're still complaining, fuck them
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God, and companies thrive on this. If this never happened, I'd be beating customers for being such rude, depressing assholes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
notalwaysright.com
thebrose69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not actually a thing in Europe, only American, or so I've heard. Yeah we have all these bitchy mom's who think complaining until they get what they want and then celebrating it is awesome. No. I hate them for that
rylos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It should be stated as sarcasm.
IceStationZebra74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in retail, we would say, "the customer is always right...but rarely correct."
TommiG28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was probably a customer
trekkie80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that was a sarcastic take on customers demanding the universe for $5.
Or in the case of software development, not knowing what they want, changing what they want on a whim, not having their shit together but pointing imaginary flaws in professionals' work processes, etc ("why do you need written requirements, I'm telling you is that not enough", "what do you mean sign off on requirements, wont you make even small changes f I ask you," etc)
It is being taken seriously and quoted around.
that's crazy.
Andker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That statement can be totally summed up by something said by Henry Ford:
If I listened to my customers I would have made a faster horse.
ai1267 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me and some friends always used this in the context of "Be humble in your interaction with riled-up customers". But we always phrased it as:
"The customer is always right. But that doesn't mean he gets what he wants."
xskittlezx97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Here's a coupon" (expired 5 years ago) "Ma'am your coupon is expired." "But is says October 1!" "October 1st of 2010....'' "This is preposterous! Now what am I going to do? Let me speak to your manager!" manager comes in, looks at coupon "Ma'am your coupon is expired." "RANT RANT RANT NEVER COMING TO WALMART AGAIN BLAH BLAH BLAH OUTRAGE"
True story btw...
Otopython ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never even had a customer service-based job and I think that saying is a load of fiery shit.
majnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not on my fucking watch. You're being rude, you get the fuck out and don't come back.
snammel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The customer is always right, if they understand what being right means and aren't dishonest.
mazimazo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In French, we say "Le client est Roi" (the customer is king) which is basically the same but it doesn't prevent him from being a douchebag :)
Sen7ineL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle used to say: "The customer is always right, except when he isn't". He's a restaurant owner.
fyrephoenix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Best think about owning your own business........you can finally tell them that they are NOT
callsyourcatugly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The customer is always an asshole"
Shanerion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This phrase isn't understood anymore. It's meant to be a mentality of the salesman, not a bill of rights for the customer. In fact, the original meaning doesn't have anything to do with the customer. It's a sales technique where the salesman manipulates the customer through flattery and submission, until the customer essentially thinks it was their idea.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
DamonTarlaei ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:28:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you possibly mean benefited from it?
misterdix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The customer is rarely right.
DonKeighbals ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:53:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Customers don't know shit, if they knew anything, they wouldn't be customers!
Curtalius ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:24:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While I don't think this is the original context of that phrase, I've always taken to another way. It's not that the customer is always right, but you never tell the customer they're wrong.
Take this example. A customer, Alice, shops at a grocery store several times a week, spending about $100 each time. Now Alice has a problem with a price, product X was supposed to be cheaper. Now I could argue with Alice and say no, it was actually this product directly above product X that was that price, and you know what I would probably be right. But you know what I get for being right, a pissed off customer, possibly having Alice ask for a manager, and my manager just giving her the price anyway.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if Alice was right or wrong, because proving her wrong will probably just piss her off. That's why its better from all angles to just let the customer assume their right.
As a disclaimer, I know the place i work at (a grocery store) gives me more power to adjust prices than most places give their cashiers, hell, "making decisions like an owner" is literally in the training, so I know not all people can make these changes so easily.
Tldr: It doesn't matter who's right if you piss off the customer.
shitheadsean2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:00:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hm
Christ_on_a_Crakker ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:33:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, the customer is not always right, but if they are just asking for the minimum of service and you act like they are asking for blood, then you might want to evaluate yourself. Maybe you are not in the right business.
Polciu ยท 3339 points ยท Posted at 15:44:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anyone who does internet speak in real life, so annoying
"Wow that's such a meme! Implying you haven't derped over 9000! so edgy!"
katasian ยท 1312 points ยท Posted at 16:31:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only people I've ever heard speak like this were 9-14 year olds trying to sound cooler.
Dark_Movie_Director ยท 2462 points ยท Posted at 16:57:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And Ubisoft at E3 2015
NachoElDaltonico ยท 464 points ยท Posted at 17:35:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're like a real life meme, meme man!
LRedditor15 ยท 257 points ยท Posted at 20:40:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They tried so desperately to give birth to a new meme in that conference. shudders
PM_ME_YOUR_TATTOO ยท 223 points ยท Posted at 20:47:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only Nintendo births memes.
Bellyzard2 ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 22:26:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They don't even have to try
justaquicki ยท 149 points ยท Posted at 00:11:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My body is ready"
"I feel like a purple Pikmin"
"I'm here to take names and kick ass"
All said by the same guy (Reggie, president of NoA), the last one being the first thing he said publicly since being a part of Nintendo
rabiiiii ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 01:42:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Please Understand"
SchalkeSpringer ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:16:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aww now I'm sad
edjrage ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"lol"
edjrage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:08 on September 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the downvoters didn't get what I meant. Or this is just a stupid comment.
SchalkeSpringer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:10:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aww now I'm sad
TheMinecraft13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:51 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:(
rabiiiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:16 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm hurting too.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:50:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're a kid now"
Swampert226 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:15:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But am I also a squid?
Dragonogon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes.
nuclearbunker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:37:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
he didn't come up with the last one that's an old phrase. usually more like "kicking ass and taking names" but yeah that's ancient
justaquicki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:14:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but in gaming he's associated with that line. Mostly because it's Nintendo and nobody expected him to curse like that.
thatJainaGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
stares longingly at bananas
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:16 on October 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My name is Reggie. I'm about kicking ass, I'm about taking names, and WE'RE about making games."
LRedditor15 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:05:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So true.
fff8e7cosmic ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:50:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to give a fair word to Shia LeBeouf. That fucker knew exactly what he was doing.
Jwpt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:49:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recently climbed to the top of a firetower on the highest peak in my area, the view up the last flight of stairs is of a Shia quote on the wall of the top frame.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:54:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the trick to making a meme, don't try. Or don't appear to be trying
yoavsnake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:44:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And Bethesda as well.
the-great-radsby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see your nintendo and raise you a konami
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:53:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
winnipegjets31 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:19:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They just became a meme themselves
is22black ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:43:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Link for the lazy.
ImDotTK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:14:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What'd they do?
le_weed_meme_420 ยท 208 points ยท Posted at 20:39:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stop. You're giving me PTSD flashbacks to that video.
InMyRestlessDreams ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:23:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you know PTSD didn't exist during the Vietnam War?
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:54:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
3meta5me
JimmyCumbs ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:07:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Link?
xVagrants ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 02:07:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rd_k1JirMtU Im not sure if I should mark it as NSFL, but its almost that cringeworthy
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:32:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
imatoiletbowl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:46:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The comment on that video said, โyou're paying for my chemo"
JohnBunzel ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:37:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. Lmao I'm all about the internet and shit but wow. People really do that out in...public..on TV!?
Tetriside ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think they show E3 conferences on TV. It's just streamed online. That way, everyone who saw knew just how awful it was. I'm not so sure the general TV watching demographic knows about meme culture.
Pyundai ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:47:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I closed that fucking video after the term "lifesize meme". I'm sure it got worse though.
I'm weak. I can weather through gore, but for the love of god I cannot stand cringing from vicarious embarrassment.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:48:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually blushing on her behalf, that was so cringey.
moonra_zk ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:47:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm preeeetty sure she has no idea what a meme is.
tumblewiid ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:36:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:(
DrewsephA ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:20:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ohh, the feeeeelssssaahhh"
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:02:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm PTSD like that
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what video?
redbank9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3gljgr/what_is_a_phrase_that_makes_you_instantly_dislike/ctzans5
ticklemuffins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:59:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
link?
jmerridew124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was that Mr caffeine?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's make a meme about this!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're a meme, ma'am."
"What the hell is a meem-mam?"
"No, it's just a meme, ma'am, not a meem-mam."
Outspoken_Douche ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:35:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you have a meme you want to pitch?"
TheHatRemover ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:12:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Men with rickets are super hot."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:24:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When she said, "You look insanely hot", I seriously thought she was referring to the excessive amount of leather clothing he was wearing that would have made him feel hot and sweaty.
WaysideToast ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:34:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who left the Christmas lights on during the apocalypse?
80Eight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's my favorite meme!
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:31:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea what you're talking about. Can you give me a link to the video?
ElectroBoof ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not big into E3 but people are leaving similar comments here
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:18:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HASHTAG GURLWOOD
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:22:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit Aisha! Get your shit together!
clutch_cake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it would be cool since she's on Archer, but I think I hate Lana's voice now
UmerHasIt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:29:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So... 9-14 year olds trying to sound cooler?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh hubisoft
JediDM99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As /u/katasian was saying, 9-14 year olds trying to sound cooler.
UndeadBread ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, they're the ones who have that really annoying gal host their shows, right? It feels like she deliberately goes out of her way to throw in "shit" and "ass" at random times to make the presentation feel young and edgy.
Unknow3n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly
C_los_23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And 2014
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coming Soon: Make-a-Meme Workshop 2016
Amphabian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was gross. Why did they think that was a good idea?
HadSexyBroughtBack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
kw1nn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's make a meme!
Yirandom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing, really.
Edge27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LETS MAKE A MEME
DMercenary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but I dont think anything can top Mr. Caffiene with
"Here hold my wii"
And
"Tom Kulancee."
Avatar_Yung-Thug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And BuzzFeed when they accepted some kind of award
guseppi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still better than Doodly Do Guy...
josh_the_misanthrope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't unsee that...
Nacksche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You shut your mouth. Aisha Tyler is a national treasure.
jbw10299 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, just thinking about it gives me the cringe shivers.
rightyguitarist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trigger warning please
EpsilonSigma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
fadingsignal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ON CLEEK
Kittenclysm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My god, I'd forgotten about that. Why couldn't I just continue to forget.
GreeneMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What did I miss?
DiggaDoug492 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PITCH
ME
A
MEME
Mike4710 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BOOM, roasted.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey let's make a meme together!
dfeld17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Link?
numb3red ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HOT GUYS WITH RICKETS
Captain_Aizen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Better than Microsoft "TV, TV, TV, TV, Call of Duty, Call of Duty, TV, Call of Duty, TV, Call of Duty, Sports, Sports, TV, Sports, Call of Duty, Sports, Sports, TV, Call of Duty, xBox go home"
ElliotNess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And mr robot (moreso in the first few episodes)
j_peachy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ALLL THE FEELSEHHH
all_teh_sandwiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And Wendy's!
404Notfound- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When she made a reference to 'NSFW' I turned it off
Jackker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Roger that.
MasterRonin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Project M Central WonderBop...
el_loco_avs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was a guy talking like the doge meme thing at a Barcraft once.
I never cringed so hard in my life at that. That's saying something for someone going to a freaking BARCRAFT.
tumblewiid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What? Really? :(
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? ubisoft used to be so cool.... :(
BallOutBoy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:12:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Got em.
dumbducky ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:54:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm staying with a friend temporarily and his friend from college is in town for his flight physical. At one point, this kid took a snapchat and asked "what meme should I put on this?" He's 21 or 22. He's got a legitimate shot at being a pilot and dropping bombs on people
sgtshootsalot ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:03:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A true hero!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and a real human bean
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:12:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he's part of a secret military experiment to weaponize dank memes
Satans__Secretary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They already are weaponized... they infect the mind and slowly take over cognitive processes until the person thinks in memes and nothing more.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:16:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dumbducky ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:18:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Snapchats tons of fun. The part I hated was him asking what shitty meme to put it on. It's so childish.
ThatIsMyHat ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:24:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did it until 17. I'm so sorry.
bluerose1197 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:08:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was seeing a guy for a very short time who would say "lol" rather than actually just laugh. Was in his mid 20's and this was 10 years ago.
Alcopaulics ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:13:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard people in their 30s and 40s say "lol" and "omg". I visibly cringe every time.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:04:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ECTO COOLR
RareBeautyEtsy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:38:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually heard an adult say, "Hashtag Gorgeous" (about their own reflection in the mirror)
taipro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:11:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy in the marines that speaks like this, we don't talk often
tambor333 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
exactly, enter my 14 year old son. Most of his conversations begin or end with internet memes and slang.
OneADayFlintstones ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:43:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know these kids at school and I feel extremely sorry that you have a child like that.
tambor333 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't, its a phase, he is fairly well read for his age but is at a point where he'd rather fit in than distance himself by showing his extensive vocabulary.
OneADayFlintstones ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:52:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weird, I'm of that age and I've never felt the need to do that. It's probably whatever setting he is in and what group of friends he is with.
Barthas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know a 20-something guy who keeps doing the doge thing still.
I have to restrain myself every time.
countryboy002 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother talks like that. She actually uses L-O-L in face to face conversations.
katasian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry. Is it better than her saying lawl? Haha
Fgame ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've lost friends by turning 'lol' into a verb.
'Yeah I'm loling too man'
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This girl in my physics class last year was a junior (I was a senior) + she used the word "derp" multiple times a day, every day. She was also dating a high school drop-out that was 12 years older than her + who lived with her, + she played Yu Gi Oh! instead of doing class work, but that's beside the point.
Satans__Secretary ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:29:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say "derp" sometimes IRL... I don't get why that's bad.
Maybe if I found a replacement word, but I can't think of a better one.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So many fascinating specimens in the world these days...
GallantBlade475 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know some that do it constantly. Argh.
martin519 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It reaches up to the early 20's from what I've noticed. Fucking interns...
Sharkn91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
>Implying they were cool to begin with.
Senor_Platano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You actually heard 9 year olds say that? in what situation, I just do it cause my only 3 friends do it too.
katasian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some kids I used to babysit for would talk to one another that way, but loudly, as though they wanted to be heard. I also heard similar stuff from some "junior" camp counselors (13-14 yr olds) while I was a camp counselor.
Senor_Platano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense.
capital_wastelander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 15 year old cousin does this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
katasian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah I've heard gg from kids (and adults!) much older than 14.
steriotypical_swede ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, welcome to socially awkward 15-17 year old dudes at my high school.
datchilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And if it's ironic 15-28
dankisms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/FellowKids
/r/YouDontSurf
/r/TerribleFacebookMemes
Slap_the_baby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 18 and I do this ironically with my friends
nahfoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man once when my mom used to play wow the router or something wasn't working. My brother and I were looking at it and she said "is the wire dc'd?"... we both slowly turned around to look at her like "the fuck??"
TheKinkMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just had painful flashbacks to when I was that age. I need a moment.
soproductive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, my girlfriend's 30 year old sister says shit like "O-M-G that's so perf" and other fucking annoying text talk and unnecessarily shortened/abbreviated words, but she actually verbalizes it, so she's not far off. Makes me cringe.
mcrxlover5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work with a couple (both 21) who talk to each other in "doge". it's so cringy
Hangytangy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the generation. It's coming in hot!
Mazetron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard 15-19 year olds say "lol" on occasion. Or rather this one guy I know.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my friends do it ironically a bunch. Although I don't know if 'yolo', 'swag', and '420' are internet things or stuff which became popular in some other context and just happen to be used in the internet a lot because they are popular.
WhitePeopleHateMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:18 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends and I speak like this ironically, mocking everyone who does it.
But we do it so frequently that we don't know if it's ironic anymore.
HELP
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend group thinks memes are the funniest shit ever and they laugh and their friends laugh and I just die a little inside and pray that god is real and he'll drop a plane on their houses
TSED ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:34:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say lawl verbally when the situation calls for it.
ETNxMARU ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:11:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, sometimes I use the words "dank meme" in an ironic way because it pisses off my girlfriend.
uberfission ยท 132 points ยท Posted at 19:17:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this shit ironically to my friends all the time, it's actually becoming kind of a problem.
YFNN ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 21:20:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Edited by Power Delete Suite
caelum19 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 23:37:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta' quit, /u/uberfission
I started out like you, now I say 'Nice meme!' instead of natural laughter, I try my hardest to creatively bring internet culture into real life conversations, the whole lot. Only after reading this comment chain did I realise people probably think I'm a weirdo.
My brother plays along, that's what allowed it to go to this point. Once a friend gets in on it, there's no going back from the memes man.
uberfission ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:33:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying to quit, I really am. I'm trying to keep it down to just casual references lately, but a couple bad days and I can see it spiralling out of control.
caelum19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just try not to get distracted, keep on that road.
It'd be nice if there was a sub for us, /r/DankmemersAnonymous or something.
TheGrandDalaiKarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh please make this happen... Plz
mrhelton ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:25:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was at an indoor waterpark with some friends, and we were watching some dude on one of those surfing things. He fell, and one of my friends yelled "EPIC FAIL" and probably 50 people just stopped and stared. I wanted to die
utvgjy6gy54v ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, this. The first time you catch yourself saying something like that around someone who is not one of your close buddies it should be a wake up call.
mrhelton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Me and my friend used to get bored at work and talk all ghetto or whatever, then it just sorta started happening sometimes outside of work.
oops
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:54:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same boat. In too deep. Don't even use the word "joke" anymore, it's always "meme".
#FreeTheMemes
mudkripple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's especially bad when a word rhymes with meme (like dream and team) because I just replace them when I speak automatically.
Help meHelp memeBernkastel-Kues ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We do the same and we always use a "dumb"voice as well
thepeopleshero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:58:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats how I started saying bro all the time =/
wrincewind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
here's the thing. no-one can tell when you're being ironic.
Kazzack ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:03:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"FEELS"
Doyoueverjustlikeugh ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:14:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You may leave the memes, but the memes don't leave you
Polite_Werewolf ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:38:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What annoys me is when people say "hashtag" in normal conversation.
BRIStoneman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:44:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my housemates started doing that to annoy the other, and now she won't stop and I want to hit her with a frying pan.
HatesBeingThatGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started using it ironically once in a blue moon, and then it started to become a problem. I really don't mean to do it anymore it just sort of happens.
LikeAMillionButts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit yeah. Met a girl a couple of weeks ago who did this shit CONSTANTLY. Also would often say "tbh" and then say something instead of to be honest. Often times these would follow each other in succession. Example:
Tbh I just really love the weather today! #sunkissed.
It was infuriating
LegoMyCraigo ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:37:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guilty of this. My friends and I tend to say dank meme more often than is healthy. But I guess it's spoken somewhat ironically so it's not as bad..
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:01:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes even the ironic memeing gets old imo.
UniversityDaniel ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:08:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ratamakafon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:39:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using >implications outside of 4chan is idiotic.
UniversityDaniel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same with me and my friends. It only get awkward when we do stuff IRL and some accidentally lets a meme fly loose in public.
Mollywobbles225 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:18:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good lord, do I have an example for you.
I just got back from a convention this weekend for a fandom that has its roots in the internet (seriously, if not for the internet, this fandom wouldn't exist), so we're all already pretty meme-y. We'll take quotes from the show and movies out of context and turn them into in-joke memes, but about 90% of us are on the internet 90% of the time, so we do tend to cross-meme.
Anyway, as many here may know, the Shia LeBeouf "inspirational video" thing went viral a while back. Sure enough, the entire weekend was filled with random shouts of "JUST DO IT!!!!!" I went from not really caring about the video (still haven't seen any iteration of it) and thinking the "Actual Cannibal Shia LeBeouf" song is funny to actually kind of hating Shia LeBeouf over the course of three days.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:38:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why wouldn't you name the convention? I don't understand reddit's obsession with telling really vague stories.
Nadril ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 20:29:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously he's a Brony and embarrassed.
Scarscape ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:03:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's RTX, most likely.
Mollywobbles225 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:05:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Certain stigma that comes with being part of certain fandoms. I don't want to risk being downvoted to oblivion for telling a relevant story just because people decided to focus on the fact that I belong to this fandom and not the content of the post.
TL;DR - the point of the story is the bits that are relevant to OP's example, not that I belong to a fandom.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:05:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RTX.
It's RTX, right?
Mollywobbles225 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Where is that one held?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:04:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Austin, Texas, I believe.
Mollywobbles225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool. I've never been to that area, though. Is RTX for anime, video games, or just general nerdiness?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:20:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Mollywobbles225 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, awesome. I actually know what RoosterTeeth is, I just didn't know they had a con.
brickmack ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:11:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bronycon?
PublicEnemyThirteen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:18:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god. I was at AX in Los Angeles last month and "JUST DO IT" fucking echoed everywhere all weekend.
Mollywobbles225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I can't even imagine it at that level.
Padreschargers7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
Mollywobbles225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa...was it accurate?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:58:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
Mollywobbles225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:52 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually kind of hilarious. As long as he wasn't screeching "JUST DO IT" at the top of his lungs every five seconds, I'd probably commend him on his cosplay. Pretty creative.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. No one worth talking to gives a shit that you're a brony.
You need to be comfortable with your pedophilia. /S
Mollywobbles225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That may be the funniest thing I have read all day. Thanks for that.
Honestly, I just dislike mentioning it outright because a lot of people don't even bother to read what I wrote, they just automatically downvote me for daring to mention MLP outside of /r/MyLittlePony. I love being a part of the fandom, wouldn't have spent over $400 on the trip to BronyCon if I didn't, sometimes the closed-minded idiots just wear on me a bit.
Pr3fix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like exactly the kind of person the OP is describing..
Mollywobbles225 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? I was annoyed by it.
Satans__Secretary ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:33:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh... no.
Some_Stupid_Cunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does that convention happen to be RTX?
Mollywobbles225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, don't even know what that is.
Some_Stupid_Cunt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh lol it's the convention for Roosterteeth, it happened this week.
Mollywobbles225 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool! Didn't know they had a con.
BevansDesign ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:53:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says the word "hashtag" out loud needs to be humanely destroyed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use edgy in conversation. Shit man, I thought it was more than an internet thing.
Pleasant_Jim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of people used the term edgy before it was used online a lot but then again, not sure if that's what you meant.
Mistake78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:37:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"kthnxbye"
"wow. much lunch."
jibvampxxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Lel" and "kek", instead of "haha" or "lol'. When people say those two online makes me instantly hate them. If they say it irl... they probably don't have any friends.
AmbiNt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend who would not stop speaking in 4-chan language. "Tfw" and "implying" we're likely the start of almost any sentence. Drove me crazy.
Ratamakafon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ironic memeing's become more obnoxious than actual memes. All of it is just a giant annoying circlejerk of "DANK MEME BRO 420 NOSCOPE DOOT DOOT MR SKELTAL me too danks" etc. and the people who yell it around and keep upvoting other people who do it are no better than any 13-year-old that finds repeated ME GUSTA faces on 9Gag funny. And it's always the exact same fucking thing - someone says "dank" or "meme" and the world's circlest of jerks springs into action.
yappingboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to say 'insert something here I-R-L'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"OMG!!! I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!!"
My buddies wife does this constantly. Ugh...
F1R3STARYA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meme is used a lot between my friends and I.
MjrJWPowell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, hahahahaha.
Bitch you could've just laughed
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The number of people who say "OMG" or "LOL" out loud..
..is too damn high
PoonaniiPirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I guess I'm guilty of this sometimes and I'm 20. Woops, I better stop making jokes about ping.
PoonaniiPirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I guess I'm guilty of this sometimes and I'm 20. Woops, I better stop making jokes about ping.
PoonaniiPirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I guess I'm guilty of this sometimes and I'm 20. Woops, I better stop making jokes about ping.
PoonaniiPirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I guess I'm guilty of this sometimes and I'm 20. Woops, I better stop making jokes about ping.
eldeeder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit... You hit the nail right on the head. If someone says "Ohhhh EMMM GEEEE" out loud in a conversation, I literally walk away. Unless she's hot.. There are rules here..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that I can openly say shit like "ayy lmao" with because I know we both browse 4chan.
But nobody else has heard me repeat what I hear too much online.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone at my apartment talks like this constantly. It's absolutely fantastic, although ironic.
ashishvp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
shit man I say "lulz" in real life all the time.
Twizler73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
XD JET FULE CAN'T MELT STEEL BEAMS
UniversityDaniel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm edgemaster(over)9000 Kappa , you are so ResidentSleeper 4Head
gears32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instant angry twitch every time
lawebley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I felt embarrassed a little when watching the show Mr.Robot when the protagonist said, "Why did you want to do this AFK?" Using AFK as a term for meeting personally. I'm pretty sure no-one in history has used AFK in this manner. At least, that is my hope.
Bladelink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still sometimes say "brb" or that I have to take a bio when I'm gonna go shit. Several years of WoW raiding will do that to you =/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My SO did the "over 9000" thing when we were getting stoned in a park. The girl we were with was taking pictures and posting them to snapchat and he told her to put "highness over 9000" on it. She didn't get the reference but she did it anyway.
College is fun.
gregbridge1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god... thats a thing... uuuugh
GameAddikt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I catch myself saying lol out loud when somebody tells a joke that's humorous but not humorous to get me to laugh outright.
I need to stop.
stigmaboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when I find something funny irl I'll just say lawl instead of laughing, I think I might be retarded
CaptainQWO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do occasionally when joking with my friends. Usually making fun of someone for memeing
random314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lawls!
Twizinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this with some close friends. It's really stupid, but that's the whole point.
Now, internet references/memes all the time? No. There was a guy in one of my classes that would reference rage comics. To everyone. All the time. I winced every time he opened his mouth.
LOTM42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What else are you supposed to call a meme tho.
Discount_orgies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just got back from the ICU. You gave me an aneurysm.
thebbman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Played a game of Magic the Gathering with these two guys once in a large multiplayer game with another friend. They would constantly say, "It's k." the entire damn time we played. I avoided them like the plague after that.
nothing_in_my_mind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate people who use the Lenny Face irl.
Sysiphuslove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't tell you how many times I've heard grown-ass women say "Oh em gee" or 'El oh el' at work. It makes me want to cringe, every time.
YES_ITS_CORRUPT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was coming out of a rough time socially, and uhh, it took me way too long to hear how retarded it sounded irl. Even just saying something like "irl" is annoying irl.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy who does this. Its pretty obvious that he has low self esteem and simply wants to be accepted by what he perceives as a cool community. He doesn't really think for himself, he just regurgitates phrases and sound bites that are so circlejerky they hurt. I like him, as annoying as he can be, and I really hate that he thinks he doesn't have the confidence to be himself.
Maria-Stryker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The first thing is quickly becoming normal to say in everyday conversation, at least when discussing actual memes. For instance, I was talking to my sister about how people online were photoshopping Hilary Clinton in similar ways. I told her the term for that was a "meme" and she didn't believe me; she felt that because the term came for the internet, it wasn't a legitimate one. Later on I was watching an episode of VEEP in which the eponymous Vice President finds out that she's become the subject of a photoshop meme because of an unflattering picture of her surfacing online, and they literally refer to the fad as a meme in the show. I took the opportunity to go, "I told you so!" to my sister, who finally admitted I was right.
LBCvalenz562 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lil dicky said meme in a freestyle on sway in the morning, sounded badass.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say derp when I do something stupid. Is that bad?
FantasticDucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes say variations on (n)X 2(n)Me. But that's only to people who prompt me with 2x 4me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What, saying "so edgy" is now internet speak?
ferretflip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coworker: lol! Me: what did you just say? Did you just say "lol?" In real life? Did you ever think of the consequences? Have you ever noticed how you are not on the internet, you pathetic little vermin? I will scrub you off the face of the earth and erase any form of indecency that could be remotely associated with you how dare you even consider that phrase how dare you even waste my time with your "memes" you have just proven that humanity can reach new lows the likes of which cannot have a conceivable recovery your existence is just another grim reminder that the world is in constant turmoil and nothing but dread and despair will ever rear their ugly faces in constant reminder to all of humanity I ought to bring you down right where you stand and just do the world a favor everyone will thank me I wish I could drag you to a subway tunnel and beat you for nine minutes straight get the hell off this planet before you start world war 3 you sick little shit
unknown1321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Lol"
"Did you just say lol out loud?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically the whole dialogue in Life is Strange. "You hella saved my life!" "Yes, she almost killed herself, such sad." "...Dank og kush..." "Let's talk bidness."
twenafeesh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't disagree, but you should know that the word "meme" predates the Internet by quite a ways.
It was originally a term from the anthropology literature, IIRC.
amanitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've accidentally said "brb" in real life. I've even accidentally said "lol" when I realized I didn't laugh and my brain fucked up when I tried to chuckle.
ILikeBigBeards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if it's ironically?
RoboWarriorSr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dank meme
The_LionTurtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doge pisses me off more than any of em
CreamNPeaches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you, but very, very rarely a meme works well with the right audience.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And what of you use it in an ironic sense?
Correct me if I misused 'ironic'.
sharknado-enoughsaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
In real life? That's my dislike phrase.
So that must make Internet fake life right, why else specify
So i could hypothetically go on Facebook and say I'm going to shoot up school. Because after all Internet isn't real life, why would anything i say here have consequences.
Can i call you horrible names? I mean you're just a person on the Internet you're not from real life.
Internet is used pretty much dialy in our lives. A lot of people have phones with them to check up on stuff. Or they can contact people to make plans. Friendships are born on here and sadly ended too. I can order batteries to come to my house if i need em to. I have access to tones of knowledge on here
Internet is real life, look around you
I prefer in person or offline instead
Cambridge_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if I say It ironically?
SICCNESS206 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit..im getting old...dafuq u just say?
haddock420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/fellowkids
TwoTecs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meme was a word before the internet you know. Also how will you refer to a "meme" in any context?
Zackeezy116 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They have a term for that: Cancer.
lolzergrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorta like this?
Homeschooled316 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In-game or IRL? 420 booty wizard
Firehawkws7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or stupid fuckers who say "lols" instead of just fucking laughing.
Iannaiian_7_12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends and I do that as a joke
raspberry_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
probably best not to use it on the internet either
OneADayFlintstones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the kids who repeat shit from vines.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dank memes goes beyond the sphere of influence called "The Internet". They apply the the human life as well. /s
DMercenary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol = "low" or "el oh el"
Please.. please shut your face.
CrimsonPig ยท 1221 points ยท Posted at 15:40:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Awkward..."
tyepicify ยท 214 points ยท Posted at 18:12:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's worse when the situation isn't awkward
ragexlfz ยท 172 points ยท Posted at 19:35:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it wasn't awkward until now, asshole.
FeedMeBlood ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:21:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awkward....
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:07:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I feel like most people that say awkward have never had genuine interaction before. We humans do occasionally pause.
Bamstarr ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 17:11:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKpQgEyjNdM
barronflux ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:38:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thank you for posting this, i literally want to do the same thing when people fucking do that shit
LaughsAtOwnJoke ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:50:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if you did that would be really awkward.
Ps before someone asks YES
barronflux ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:07:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe to you, stranger
Orangutan_Tittiez ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:51:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's usually never even an awkward moment until they say that too. Thanks for posting this.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:04:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love Key & Peele but haven't seen that one before - thanks for posting!
I know SO MANY people who do that, which is why I have turned into a shy person who avoids social events at all costs. "What do you do for fun?" "I like to do lots of arts and crafts, I've also recently taken up kayaking...What about you?" "Ha! Okay...alright..." (Translation: I don't have any hobbies and cannot add to this conversation)
kapxis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
first thing i thought of, glad you posted it.
AwkwardnessIsAwesome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really relevant...
Zemogray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ok...."
Qtwentyseven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:20 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I need to keep up with Key & Peele. This had me laughing to the point of tears.
Bamstarr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:34:58 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, their stuff is hit or miss but this is truly a golden skit. Glad you got some lols.
[deleted] ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 23:01:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
holla02 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:08:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... Awkward...
Vindexus ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:22:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...okayy...
glberns ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:01:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... yikes...
conquer69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't find their sketches funny" FTFY
tomatomater ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:11:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you need /s in this case
postrock47 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:59:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you 100%. I honestly don't know why people love their show so much. It's not funny...
nman68 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
......Awkward.........
fraxinus2197 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:31:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or even worse, "cringe.."
barronflux ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:38:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU
vocamur09 ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 17:11:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ooooookaaayyy..."
UGTheTwoFace ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:06:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Anywaayyy..."
plsdont ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:46:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it kinda funny though when people say "anyways.." after somebody made a statement were nobody agrees/said something offensive.
Ketherah ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:52:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can you put your penis away please?"
InfectedP0tato ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:59:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just Bill Cosby problems
Ericcccccc ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:56:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yikes.
wrong_assumption ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yikes" is
I don't find anything wrong with it.
Ericcccccc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:42:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use yikes daily, was simply a joke from that video
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:29:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyway...
SkyrocketDelight ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:44:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAHA. I had a work friend dating one of the waitresses we both worked with. She would say this, at least 3 times per shift. Often when nothing was actually awkward.
She said it like, "awwk-waaaaaard". We all eventually started mocking here, exaggerating the way she would say it, making wound like a parrot squawk. Squawk-waaaard.
She was a bitch. Work friend eventually dumped her, and she quit. We still occasionally reference her "awk-waaaaaard" almost 8 years later. And now anytime I hear someone say "awkward" this bitch immediately comes to mind.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for sharing
Smien ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:27:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People obsessed about things being awkward, is awkward.
LRedditor15 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:46:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It just makes the conversation even more awkward.
wENTtobuyweed ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:12:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't awkward until you pointed it out!
Crook_Lid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:15:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Went to school with a kid who always said "RrrrrrANDoooooom!"
Box-of-Sunshine ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:24:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was an entire Key and Peele segment on that specific person of the group.
bluerose1197 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When my nephew was three, this was his favorite word for a good month. And he was brilliant at using it, always right in a lull in conversation. Only he could pull it off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fits perfectly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKpQgEyjNdM
OldWolf2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ockward
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love when people say this because they are usually severely self-conscious and I can easily make them super nervous and anxious just by standing or sitting near or next to them without talking. Just about my entire family is Finnish so I find it very normal and relaxing sit silently with other people.
Its also very useful for extracting information from most people. The less you say, the more blanks they fill in and the better information you get. It also allows you to better organize and catalog the possibilities and formulate plans and responses.
HowBoutDemMons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Inappropes
ToastPop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That awkward moment when..." something not awkward at all happened.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This just got....
AHungryGorilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Follow that up with a "It is now." or a "It is now, you cunt."
JohnChimpo23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All it ever does is ACTUALLY make things awkward
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I blame america. This was used really well until certain US comedians got a hold of it (looking at you Sandler).
Doc_Bleach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Speak for yourself."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say this fail to see the irony.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awkwarrrrrd
coldermilk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Man, it's quiet!"
How about you try to raise a conversation and be proactive here? It doesn't need to be quiet and saying that doesn't help.
Hanta3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also hate "it's only awkward if you make it awkward." Like hell it is.
barto5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crap! I say that sometimes...
Well, this is awkward!
Murta95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OooooooKaaay....
imonsterFTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant Key and Peele sketch. https://youtu.be/VKpQgEyjNdM
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
..this situation is absurd
JustAnotherLemonTree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brother once had a possibly-ADD friend over for dinner. The kid talked constantly and anytime there was a 2-second pause, he said "AWKWARD..." and then resumed running his mouth. Our family doesn't talk a hell of a lot during meals, so the kid's auctioneer impression was more awkward than any pause possibly could be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone said that when we were being introduced for the first time recently. Yeah, we're introducing ourselves so that it isn't awkward you fucking try hard. No wonder you were adopted.
KittenImmaculate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I especially hate when someone says "that awkward moment when..." And they're alone at home. It's only awkward now because you're telling us.
TeamJim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I AM FUNNYBOT"
LindsTaterz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOURE JUST MAKING IT AWKWARD DAMMIT.
It was fine before grumbles away
Halfpasthammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well now it is"
You_Dont_Know_JackPo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:19:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love it, makes everything so much worse, can't help doing it.
CaptainTuttle_4077th ยท 6613 points ยท Posted at 17:18:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How old is your baby?"
"Oh, she's 37 months."
เฒ _เฒ
alblaster ยท 2801 points ยท Posted at 19:10:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would respond like this: I'm 323 months old.
letsgetrandy ยท 1359 points ยท Posted at 20:48:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Saying I'm 476 months really makes me feel old.
KushKong420 ยท 1813 points ยท Posted at 22:13:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well 39 doesn't exactly sound like a spring chicken either
letsgetrandy ยท 386 points ยท Posted at 22:14:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, now!
[deleted] ยท 605 points ยท Posted at 00:13:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're an Allstar!
herooftime00 ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 00:18:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get your game on!
akibsdabomb ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 00:38:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go , play !
Kell08 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:09:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, now!
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:58:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
VikingTheEpic ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:14:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get your game on!
Totentag ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:33:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're fired.
MenacingErmine ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:16:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get laid?
hxcroger ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:48:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's get spayed
FeedMeBlood ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:19:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And all that glitters are gouldddouoddd
BrightShadowHunt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:31:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get your show on!
[deleted] ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 00:56:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mom's spaghetti
isaidthisinstead ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 01:07:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead.
Wheat_Grinder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:26:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CRAWWWWWLING IIIIIIIN MY SKIIIIIIIIN
SPAAAAAACE PAAAAARASIIIIIIITES
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:04:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoke weed everyday
geeeeh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who ya gonna call?
throwmetochruch ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:23:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Billie Jean is not my lover
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TO BE A ROCK AND NOT TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLL
thirdegree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
525600 minutes!
JaycobN7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would catch a grenaaaaaade for you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't believe me, just watch!
somekid66 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:08:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love you guys
Kell08 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:10:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks.
ridediesmile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too
ProfessorMisanthrope ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:11:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go play!
xxraven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get the show on!
tesla1889 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
how many people have pm'd you pictures of coffee?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Quite a few. Maybe ten. Wish it was more.
tesla1889 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
next time i break away from my usual tea i'll hit ya up!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
<3
ABrokenOven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well now its 11
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're makin me hot and steamy
ABrokenOven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:42:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
;)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get your game on!
zangent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't had a good laugh for a day now!
DaruisRucker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"spring chicken" was going to be my answer to this thread question.
KushKong420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Says the blowfish
DaruisRucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:35 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was Hootie. The blowfish were just my band.
KushKong420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:06 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Judging by your post history I'm guessing you're not who you claim to be but I world really like to be wrong.
melodamyte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually that's May, which might actually make it a spring chicken
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lmao
markender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck those people for trying to make me do maths.
BadBoyJH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/theydidthemath
KushKong420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/sirididthemath
BadBoyJH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OOOh, I'm sorry, the correct answer was /r/theydidthemonstermath
zangent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/itwasagraveyardsmath
BadBoyJH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/itwasagraveyardgraph masterrace.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, a spring chicken is exactly 39 months old. Don't you know anything about poultry trivia?
JoXand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, no it does not.
YLE-Coyote ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Up vote strictly for proper use of "spring chicken"
Bonolio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I go with Saturnian years. I'm only one and half.
raginwriter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Checking in at 261.
fuckin_jesus_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
260 months old, ha you guys are old!
Edit: before anarchy starts, it's a joke, pls don't hate me
supercrusher9000 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:47:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
who said anything about 39? I heard 323 months
BadBoyJH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that was a reply to a 476 month old.
kiplarson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:25:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just did the math. 420 months old, feel like I should celebrate.
hashtagswagitup ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:51:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blaze
bannana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:07:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
588 months checking in.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:02:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
476 doesn't sound like that much
gropo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
496 month old hereโI remember when I was a wee tot like yourself, barely weaned from my mothers teet.
RareBeautyEtsy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Better than 1,251,864,285.84 seconds.
AngryCoDplayer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At 542 months, you're a spring chicken compared to me.
WTF_SilverChair ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
479 here. 480 doesn't seem like such a big deal! Thanks, bruh!
barto5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Settle down kids, dad's here...684 months young!
pliskie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After 750 months, we start saying "months young."
cobalt_coyote ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It should. I'm roughly 17,300 days into my hitch.
greenroom628 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
495 months. you kids get off my goddamn lawn!
youths...
AbeCisneros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey gramps, next month I'll be celebrating my 252 month since birth. That means I'll be able to consume alcohol, legally, in the United States. I hear many go out and celebrate their 252 month, and I would like to ask. What kind of drinks do you enjoy?
toaster_in_law ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Youngster here at 185
Spartancoolcody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are over 1,233,792,000 seconds old.
Soulrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mate you think you're old? Check this shit out, I'm 12500 days old bro.
pachetra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my 131st trimester.
ifln ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, 39 is pretty old. You're almost in the 40s. "Sorry, not sorry"
mohrt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does that mean 537 is bad?
pickle_fucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 420 months
tee hee..
Darth_Meatloaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, I'm at 481.
I_Am_Jacks_Scrotum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So...about 13780 days, then?
DaveSenior72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 518 months old as of today!
Get off my lawn, kid!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HA! I'm 185 months old. Sucker.
Basoran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
at 434 months, I happily say,
you are older than me bub
jaxxon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
569 months. Jesus!!
qwe340 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i mean, saying you are almost 40 on reddit does the same thing.
Spambop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
284
TSED ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:32:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would respond like this: "Oh, cool. How many months old are you?"
joe_m107 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:19:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Wait!? You're 14?
Edit: see below
alblaster ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:29:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you mathed wrong.
joe_m107 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:33:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. Happy almost 27th birthday!!
alblaster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thanks.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:56:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
IchBinEinHamburger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Happy birthmonth!
voidsoul22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to pretend it took you 2 hours to figure out how many months old you are, because it's really funny that way
petal14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
625 mos.
Old_Soothsayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HA, finally someone makes 546 look good!
Peter_Pancakes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 362 Lunar Cycles
OccasionallyWitty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my 98th trimester.
Soggy_thoughts02 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/theydidthemath
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
IchBinEinHamburger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, you are a baby.
mymymissmai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Woot Woot! Mine is a well rounded number. 390 months old! I'm gonna celebrate all month long. You guys are invited to my 400 month celebration in ten months!
st_ryder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
322
ComedicFailure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1989 brah checking in! 320 months here.
Cheveyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
384, ha! I'm older than you, which means I obviously know way more about everything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
alblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah. I can't wait to join the 27 club.
Omnipotent_Entity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im over 10,973 days old. True story.
ewwgrossitskyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I'm 4 months older than you are! </random useless fact>
OuttaSightVegemite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a month older than you. That's a long time in terms of development.
_swisha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
232 - odd
Synexis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are almost 10,000 days old.
SuchCoolBrandon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good going, now you've made everyone reading this calculate their age in months and feel really old.
alblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oops
Super_Zac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I've had more than 216 months
4evrdrumin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'll be 27 in one month! Happy early birthday!!!
alblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thank you. It's exactly 1 month away from today.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so 26?
Billob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to say that, except I'm 326 months old, take that!
Best-Kha-LB-NA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit I'm also 323 months old.
Swoleger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 9189 days old
VampireSurgeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm only 206 months :((((((
FerrumCenturio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: fuck im old
proROKexpat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
313 months here!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I'm 320! You were born in... Sept 1988?
alblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yep.
Blee10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was bored at work one day and every one of my coworkers and myself decided to calculate how many months old we were after having this same complaint.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
alblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wait, how old are you? Are you a wizard?
Ua_Tsaug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, that means it's your birthday soon, right?
alblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:42 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yep
IndianSuperguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*322 months
AlenaBrolxFlami ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:56:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm almost 467 months old.
notakillerjustfat ยท 4429 points ยท Posted at 18:37:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
3. Your kid is 3.
niacin16 ยท 3374 points ยท Posted at 20:08:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once said to my sister-in-law: "Oh [nephew] is just over a year old now eh?"
Sis-in-law: "No, he's 13 months."
me: "Yea, so he's just over a year old."
Sis-in-law: "No, he's 13 months. You don't get it but a month is a lot in development terms."
Ok, Really...? I don't care... He's just over a YEAR OLD
nightwing2024 ยท 1330 points ยท Posted at 20:41:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No I get it, you're just being a pedantic bitch."
[deleted] ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 21:07:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Shallow and pedantic.
Shallow-And-Pedantic ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 01:10:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I didn't say anything?
justadude27 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Redditor for 3 years: checks out.
tesla1889 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/beetlejuicing
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:09:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Insubordinate and churlish
DaveSenior72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot obtuse in that list.
HobosTaint ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:05:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was scrolling just to see this ...thank you!
SkyPork ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 21:52:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worse than pedantic if you ask me. Almost, "breeding has elevated my comprehension to a new level, and with that has come a whole new lexicon of lingo that I demand you acknowledge."
One of my favorite pet peeves.
zetterberg40 ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 23:22:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't help that all baby clothes and toys are labelled in months. Some will say years but most don't. So I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and just think they're saying it because everything in their child's life is labelled that way.
Edit: eh I didn't really mean to respond to your comment it was meant for the people above you. Going to leave it anyway
Shaysdays ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 00:41:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree- I always tried to convert to years in my head but especially when they are under two years old, so much stuff is labeled/geared toward how many months they are, you just kinda get used to thinking that way.
It's like giving recipes or measurements on reddit- I look up the Celsius or metric ones and give a conversion, but I don't think that way on my own because I have no other reason to use it- everything in my daily life is Farenheit or cups or yards, etc.
isubird33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What pisses me off though is when I buy clothing that will say "12 to 24 months". Motherfucker...that's 1-2.
merme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is because context is important. A month is very important time frame for a baby's development. Anything you need for the baby is measured in months because of that.
That doesn't mean everything about the baby should be in months. Telling someone your baby's age for example doesn't matter as much unless they're a doctor. So you shouldn't use months when talking with anther person about the baby.
thebuccaneersden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, not really. Anyone who has ever had children or handled children will count in months, as it is the norm (for a good reason) - which is... um... an overwhelmingly significant proportion of the general population.
merme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say it is what they do. I'm saying once your kid hits 3 years, just say three years old. Some random guy you're talking to doesnt need to know "37 months".
homeworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
until it gets to 2T, 3T, etc.
zetterberg40 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course but they do have ones that say 18-24mos and 2T is actually bigger. I would probably think anyone who was calling their child 25 months old to be an idiot.
I honestly think the system is ridiculous. I don't think I've ever bought clothes for my nieces/nephews that matched the age they actually were. I suppose it's the most accurate though.
bozwizard14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
in fairness kids grow a lot in a month at that age, clothes made for a 7 month old kid will not fit a 9 month old kid.
The_Brat_Prince ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 23:02:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think for most parents it's actually that you are supposed to count months for about the first two years of their life to know how their development is coming along, that's how my pediatrician refers to my kids age, that's how my daycare refers to their age, that's how every book and every article about parenting refers to kids age when they are young. We get used to referring to their age in months so when people ask us about it, that's what we say.
Kind of weird to think of it as: "breeding has elevated my comprehension to a new level, and with that has come a whole new lexicon of lingo that I demand you acknowledge." It's literally just an age stated in months, nothing hard to understand about that.
trigg ยท 146 points ยท Posted at 23:08:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's one thing to state their age in months, it's another to tell someone "Uh, no." if they state their name in terms of years. One is being a parent, the other is being an ass. In the example giving, she was being an ass.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:06 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
exactly.
eketros ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:17:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Counting age in months makes sense at that age. I think the issue is the part about demanding other people use months. If I told someone my kid was 17 months old, and they said "oh so about a year and a half?", then I think the correct answer there would be "yes".
thebuccaneersden ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:47:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, but what if someone asked your age and you said 25 and they said, "oh, so 2 decades and a half." Would it truly be that awful to correct them with what is considered the norm in how to refer a 25 year olds age?
TheTruesigerus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:04:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But why? If they prefer to count in decades and are verifying with you just let them be. The way they count doesn't change your life
Dementat_Deus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:00:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has lost track of my own age, and had to sit down and do the math, there isn't any way I'd be able to keep track of someone else's age to the month.
damntree ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:42:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I just google, "how old am I?" There's a nice calculator.
isubird33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its all about the situation. Talking to a daycare or pediatrician makes sense to use specific terms. Talking to your coworker that is just trying to create nice conversation? Fuck it, they're a year and a half.
thebuccaneersden ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:44:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sshh... don't interfere with the reddit hivemind bashing of parents and children. We are supposed to be ashamed for being involved in the continuation of our species and occasionally ruining their wonderful childless lives.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:28 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha! hey man, if you wanna have kids, all the power to ya! Just don't expect me to refer to their age in months after a year old.
thebuccaneersden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:20 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a societal norm, so it's really your choice to break convention. Beyond that, makes no difference to me. Just don't expect people you meet in life not to point it out.
FluffySharkBird ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:03:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still it sounds obnoxious to say to someone who can't tell the difference between 12 and 13 months. You wouldn't like it if people with other jobs were that annoying when you talked to them.
Heathenforhire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, count their age in months to your paediatrician, your GP, the paramedics, whoever else may have a professional need to know your child's age in months. To some random person inquiring, hell even your own family, we don't give a fuck about the particulars of what stage of development they're at.
About how long ago, roughly mind you, did you force this screaming shit machine/money pit out of your loins, forever altering the course of your life?
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:37 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love your reply. Thanks for that!
The_Brat_Prince ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We don't tell people that so that they know what developmental stage our kids are at, we tell people that because it's their age. If you don't give a shit about how old someone's kid is, then why ask in the first place? I don't go around yapping to people about my kids unless they ask. Just like you don't give a shit about how many months they are, I don't give a shit that it bothers you. I'm not going to adjust the way I state my kids age just because some people don't like it for some weird reason, it's not like it's offensive or anything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for them. 13 months = just over a year. They can deal with it and keep their developmental shit nobody cares about to themselves, or those who specifically ask.
Eurospective ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:35:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, I don't have kids and I'm not sure I want any but if you have every been around kids that age you'd realize that there is a significant difference. Over a year old might be the difference between a walking and talking little human and a trash bin for food. The added benefit of knowing developmental stages if that you can judge this much harder if they are behind.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:52:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh for god's sake, really? You're wasting valuable brain space on this?
It's a common way to refer to a baby's age up until 2. Every parent, every teacher, every doctor, every toy, every diaper, every piece of clothing, every EVERYTHING refers to a baby in months because they develop so fast that what a 4 month old does/needs/wears/eats bears little resemblance to what a 13 month old does/needs/wears/eats.
DumbledoresFerrari ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:38:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who mentioned anything about referring to a 4 month old and a 13 month old as the same thing? The poster was talking someone correcting "just over a year old" to "13 months", when both are equally true.
I_Am_Jacks_Scrotum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU.
SnatchAddict ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:25:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they make a thing of it, yes. But generally months is used through 2 years of age.
Not understanding the difference between 12 and 16 months developmentally is like saying there's no difference between 20 and 50.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:43:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thebuccaneersden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you been around toddlers much? :p
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:09 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thebuccaneersden ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:42:36 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you have to concede you are not exactly the most qualified person to talk about this subject, correct?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thebuccaneersden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the 20 to 50 analogy is a poor one, but only because he/she did a poor job of explaining why. If we are talking physically on a visual level, I would probably say something more like the difference between a 25 year old and a 35 year old. Developmentally, they are changing a lot more than that though. Every month is a cognitive leap. Every month they are drastically gaining new physical skills. Those are things you can't really appreciate until you spend time around kids.
Around 12 months, most babies will be good at crawling and babbling. They might be taking their first steps, but they will be tumbling a lot. But, you may find that by 15 months, they will be really good at walking and running, responding to commands, using real words to communicate as well as pointing to things to express need or curiosity. 3 months can be all it takes to make the difference between human potato and a small, vibrant, interactive person.
I think this is the point the commenter was trying to make.
But it's also all a matter of perspective. Many adults look down on children and simply think of them in terms of baby, child, teenager. But children also look up at adults and just think adult, old person. As a child, you often don't really perceive the difference between a 20, 30, or 40 year old. Once you start getting grey hair or start to go bald, then they understand that you are in an age group that separates you between adult and elderly person. And maybe that's why you seem to think that no average person can tell the difference between a 12 and 15 month of toddler. Just sayin'.
isubird33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, I can barely tell the difference between a 1 year old and a 3 year old.
SnatchAddict ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Physical difference vs developmental difference. You didn't address my argument.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:56:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
I_Am_Jacks_Scrotum ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 02:20:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's an obvious difference between a 1 year old and a 1.25 year old. I'm sorry that your below-moderately-functioning brain can't tell the difference.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:37:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean a 16 months year old.
McdMaint5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck refers to the act of getting pregnant as "breeding"?
monster_bunny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it is.
butterscotch_yo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's petty as fuck, and in full context could either be a humble brag or a pre-emptive defense, both of which are annoying.
"No, he's 13 months. You don't get it but a month is a lot in development terms." translation 1: he's VERY smart for his age, ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE IS SMART.
"No, he's 13 months. You don't get it but a month is a lot in development terms." translation 2: he might seem a little slower than a 14 month old, but that's because a month makes a HUUUUUUGE difference when it comes to babies and he'll be just fine.
Gorfoo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am euphoric; not because of any phony intellect, but because of my own breeding.
jbw10299 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, shallow and pedantic.
MisterQuiggles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I find these potatoes shallow and pedantic"
RadioSlayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a pedant and I love it
Indetermination ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
is that really reason enough for somebody to be labelled a bitch?
nightwing2024 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just being one, not always one
I_want_hard_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Got em
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:22:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I try to code switch between fellow parents of toddlers and the rest of the world. My son is as big as a three year old but still hasn't hit his second birthday. For most people, I just say he's two or almost two. For parents of toddlers, he's 23 months. Parents often get judged pretty harshly by other parents if their kid is not "keeping up with different milestones. This is why parents get hypercorrect with age. Yes it's annoying, but after hearing that your child should be screened for autism a hundred times because he looks 6 to 10 months older and is non verbal, giving a precise age avoids that conversation.
[deleted] ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 23:10:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Counting by months until 2 years old is common. The reason is because in this relatively short time children develop rapidly. After 24 months, it's a bit obnoxious. By 3 years old, it's downright annoying.
ThePolemicist ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:19:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. In a way, you kind of feel like you're lying if you have a 15 month old who is walking and kind of talking, and then you tell people he or she is "a year old."
I think perhaps people who don't have kids or younger siblings might not realize just how quickly children grow. I mean, when they are born, they can't really do anything. They can't even lift their heads up. Fast forward just 6 months, and many babies are sitting up, giggling, smiling and babbling. By a year old, they're standing and probably taking their first unsteady steps, sounding out their first words. By 18 months, they're walking as their main form of locomotion and saying real words, sometimes putting 2 words together into a phrase. I mean, that amount of change is almost impossible to really comprehend. It's amazing how you can compare an infant to a 2 year old toddler and realize that growth happens in just 2 years.
So, yeah, a kid who is 13, 14, 15 months might kind of be "just a year old," but months still make a huge difference at that age.
jschubart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be completely correct if she hadn't corrected him twice. Describing a child who is one year and one month as a little over a year old is totally valid for the average person and someone who describes a child in those terms does not care at all that it's 13.5 months.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is getting a little silly.
Neither party is more correct than the other. Both parties have a different reference frame. Either could have accepted the other's reference frame, but neither did.
[deleted] ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 23:06:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me that developmentally a child is changing a great deal month by month until about 1.5-2 years, and so its important to keep track of how many months old they are until that point.
SayceGards ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 00:39:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But as someone who doesn't give a damn about most people's children and is just asking to be polite....
ColKrismiss ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 03:26:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a father who really cares about the development of my children, I still stopped counting months after 12. Trust me, they will still develop if you say "A year and a half"
BrewCrewKevin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:18:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. And I don't know why nobody here is comprehending that you can use both. You can still say 13 months when talking to a pediatrician or somebody actually concerning themselves with his/her developmental progress. But when somebody makes small talk, I think "just over a year" should suffice.
AnEchoOfBetterTimes ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 01:08:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if you are trying to be polite maybe you shouldn't be a rude shit in your follow up statement
BrewCrewKevin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:17:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, but the point he's trying to make, is you can refer to the child as both 13 months and just over a year. And it would make sense to use both depending on who you're talking to.
Talking to a teacher, pediatrician, babysitter, nanny, or somebody genuinely interested in her developmental progress? 13 months. Sister and law making small talk and says just over a year? Good enough. "Yes."
KevintheNoodly ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:56:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't care then you should just leave it at 13 months.
two ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:02:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently, for whatever reason, you do give a damn. Someone who doesn't give a damn wouldn't care whether the answer were given in months, years, or centimeters. But you seem to give so much of a damn about knowing the approximate age of a child in terms of years that it actually bothers you when the answer is given in months.
So, on the contrary, it's really quite astonishing how much you care.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:34:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they say the age ain months and it's not greater than two years there's no point to arguing about the age. Pediatiricians refer to infants' age in months and parents pick it up too because it makes it easier to track the child's growth and communicate with their doctor. If you're asking out of politeness don't press the issue. If you don't care about children then why would care what they measure their child's age in?
SayceGards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I personally don't argue with people. I just say "oh hmm that's nice! Is it walking yet?" Because I don't know how babies work after the first week of birth.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
.
Infallible_Fallacy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being polite isn't correcting the mother. Being polite would just be "oh ok" after she says 13 months
SayceGards ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:39:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like I said in another comment, I usually just respond "oooh wow. So big! Is it walking yet?" Because I have no idea how child development works after the first week when they're discharged
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:35:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True they change a lot month to month.
However, this is a term used more with doctors or early childhood teachers, not your sister in law or cousin.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that doesn't mean that parents have somehow broken a rule or made some offense by giving the age in months. It's not strange for people to adopt the terminology used by their doctors when discussing illness or treatment, so why is somehow wrong that they do the same for their child? It's one thing if you're referring to your four year old as a 48 month old, but getting worked up because someone said their child was 13 months old, when the child is still in the early developmental stages and giving the age in months is still relevant medically, doesn't make any sense to me
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep track, sure- but when someone asks, you can definitely use, "Just over one," "One and a half," or, "Almost 2."
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:02:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I concurr. I used to hate when people said shit like that.
Source: I have an 11 week old.
davesoverhere ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:36:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, just over two months.
illdoitnextweek ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:41:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, just over 0.
Vigilante17 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:05:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But in terms of age, 13 months IS just over a year to someone without kids. And parents tend to think they know EVERYTHING when their first child is 13 months old. Just wait 12 more years and that kid will "know" more than the mom.
FlashYourNands ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:41:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The issue is that they said "no", saying that it's wrong that the child is just over a year.
"So you kid is just over a year?"
"yeah, 13 months"
is perfectly fine, and doesn't make the parent come across like a douche
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:57:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And? What's your point? That a parent should dumb it down to the person who doesn't have kids? How is the parent even supposed to know what your age style preference is ... and why should they care?
yildizli_gece ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:17:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Correcting someone who isn't actually wrong on the facts (the facts being "13 months = just over a year old), is rude.
It's not "dumbing it down," it's just flat-out rude to "correct" a thing that isn't even wrong. The mother was just being an obnoxious twat about it.
Vigilante17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:47 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being a parent, my point is 28-31 days IS Just over a year. And yes, it's not an arguing point to say "No, he's 13 months" is a bit nonsensical in that setting. And that my 13 year old is insistent she's infinitely more knowledgeable than adults. However, that is another conversation entirely. :)
Sonja_Blu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's obnoxious because parents are using in-group terminology with people outside of that group. If somebody asks you a general question about your job/pet/hobby/etc it's generally considered bad form to give an overly technical or specific answer. You give a vague or general answer and leave it at that. "How old is your child" doesn't require an exact answer, and an age expressed in weeks or months probably doesn't mean anything intuitively to anyone without kids. It's not about dumbing it down, it's about respecting other people's level of interest and understanding.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does it matter so much? I was trying to explain the reason why people explain their child's age in months, not justify it. also, what the hell does the attitude of a parent of a 13 month old have to do with this discussion?
Tatts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean 18-24 months :-)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That would be more logical if every child progressed at the same rate, or if variations in development were less than a month. I was walking at 9 months old, but my sister wasn't up about about until over a year old. That's a huge difference.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pumpkinarium ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:41:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You may miss signs that your child isn't developing at an age-appropriate rate?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:04:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You might miss signs that point to developmental delays.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not important in terms of "your child will literally explode if you don't track their age" it's important because you need to track their development physically and mentally. If something is really off it can be indicative of some sort of condition or illness. Tracking a child's age by month is for medical purposes and to my understanding you don't need to track it past 24 months.
niacin16 ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 23:20:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, most definitely. You are right.
Thing is, there are people who care, and people who don't. I fall into the latter category and everyone who knows me, knows this. I don't have kids, don't want kids and don't like kids. To me it's a condescending statement knowing this fact.
Ran4 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:39:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're joking, right?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's it like having such strong opinions on something that you literally know nothing about? It must be exhilarating.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:25 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i like to live life on the edge.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:34:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to talk to parents about kids, you have to realize that kids are so emotionally draining and time consuming that we parents are mentally and physically incapable of giving less of a fuck about wether or not you have an issue with how we talk about kids.
So if we say our kid is 14 months, and you say, "well, it's just over a year" fuck off and correct someone who gives a shit about your hissy fit. Maybe grow up a little along the way while looking for them, and stop being a pretentious twat.
manlypanda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:50:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Quit spoiling everyone's smuggery.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope when I have children I don't become an insufferable cunt like you.
[deleted] ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 23:43:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you have kids, let me know, so I can call CPS and rescue them from a life of suffering.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:51:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 23:55:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone that thinks a 12 month old is the same age as a 23 month old simply because they're both technically "1 year" is either an insufferable pretentious cunt or mentally retarded. So yes, I definitely asked the more appropriate question.
Just because it hurts your feelings, and is "inappropriate" socially doesn't make it less relevant of a question to ask someone.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:10:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then why the fuck would have you have kids in the first place?
Don't be an asshat. Just say "one year" and "almost two". Then to people who want to talk about how comparatively retarded and underdeveloped their children are, you can switch your jargon around to something both of you poor exhausted and miserable people can understand.
pumpkinarium ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:46:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no horse in this fight, because this is a horse fight now and I've declared it so, but honestly this makes no freakin' sense to me.
"How old is your kid?"
"14 months."
"Oh, that's cool."
And the conversation is over. Parents talk about their children's age by months because it's a better indicator of the development of the child. You don't give a fuck, that's fine, but are you so afraid of math that you're going to police the way parents talk to you about their kids?
And if you just hate kids, that's fine too. I'd recommend just not talking to parents, then, which from what you've said is probably your preference in the first place.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 00:15:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because kids are awesome. You have to remember that time and energy are being pumped into the kids because we love having them. You just don't get any because you're largely irrelevant.
If you don't want to actually know how old my kid is, then don't ask. Because I'm going to give you an age in months up until 2, as it is completely relevant. If you don't find it relevant, fuck off and stop asking how old peoples kids are since you obviously don't actually give a shit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 00:38:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually not true. I've had a ton of developmental discussions with other parents who have achieved adulthood in their life, maybe one day you'll get there too.
yarothaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe one day you'll get your head free of your ass.
karnoculars ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:29:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For the record, I agree with you. But you will never win this argument on reddit, because they just like to complain about everything. Best to let it go.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 00:36:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
im not trying to win, I just like to point out that people are wrong.
Sonja_Blu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:17:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe you should stop assuming that just because your kids are the center of your world that anyone else gives a fuck. We're asking to be polite, just give a general answer. If you asked me about my research I would give a completely vague and meaningless answer because, even though my work is the major focus of my life (and it is incredibly emotionally draining and time consuming), I know that you're just asking to be polite.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What a sad world you live in, you need to find some actual friends.
Sonja_Blu ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have lots of friends, thanks. I'm just not narcissistic enough to believe that people asking me general questions about something complex are looking for an in depth answer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the thing though, it's not in depth, you're just ignorant. The only people who bitch and whine about babies ages being given in months are self important dicks. Don't ask if you don't want an honest answer.
Sonja_Blu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:04:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not ignorant, and you're definitely the self important dick here. You're incredibly rude and insulting for absolutely no reason. I hope your kids have better manners than you do.
Ok, so I'll just avoid all small talk in future. Thanks for that great advice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just realize that if you ask the age of a kid that is under two you will most likely get an age in months. If that really bothers you, that's fine, but to assume parents should know better and just say a nonsense answer to appease your smug self, you're an ass.
Sonja_Blu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Giving the age in years rather than months once you pass one year (he's just over a year old, he's a year and a half, he's almost two, etc) is not a nonsense answer. I really don't understand where you're getting smug from this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:17 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only condescending because of the way it was delivered. In the dialog above your sister-in-law says it in a very smug way, insinuating that the information is relevant to you. So now people in this thread have it in their minds that all parents are being smug when they give their kid's age in months instead of years, which is not the reality. In reality, parents are using months just because the developmental milestones are measured in those units.
It's pretty transparent that this whole thread is really just a proxy battle for more deeply rooted issues between people who have/want-to-have kids and those that don't. In actual conversation, the months vs years thing is so unimportant that it really doesn't matter. The fact that people are making such a huge fuss about it is pretty indicative of the additional emotional baggage that people are bringing to this argument.
However, if it really is just the fact that you got your units in months instead of years that irritates you, I would encourage you to not be so easily offended. You can't really expect people to know what offends you and what doesn't, so you'd probably do well to grow a little bit thicker skin.
yurieu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:06:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
savage
homeworld ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:14:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then after that you're free to lock them in the closest.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:04:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Great, they can do that all they want. It doesn't matter to anyone else though unless they specifically ask.
[deleted] ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 22:41:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People typically use months until 18 or at most 24. While it's ridiculous to still do it when the kid is a whopping 3 years old, your sister is right that that a month is a lot in terms of a baby's development. You may not care, but she can say 13 months if she wants. She could be the bigger person and say, "Ok, /u/niacin16, he's just over a year old" eye roll, condescending pat on shoulder instead of fruitlessly arguing with you, but she's not being ridiculous for saying her baby is 13 months old.
Ppleater ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 22:50:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not ridiculous to say your baby is 13 month old when the developmental milestones are relevant, but when someone is just asking how old your baby is they don't give a shit about the difference a month makes in development. They only want to know their age in years.
fatalii ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 01:02:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you're getting the age that the parent uses. That's the first age that comes to mind because it's the version that matters. I never cared about month-by-month aging til I had a kid of my own, and now it's the age format I default to for her. Not to mention, if someone asks how old my kid is, I'll assume they care. It's better than having to answer twice because I assumed they didn't actually "give a shit". If having to do a month-to-year conversion is the worst thing that you had to deal with that day then I guess it wasn't a horrible day.
narrill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the correction though. After "so he's just over a year old," there's no reason not to just say "right."
fatalii ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:22:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone asks an age and gets a reply "13 months", why would you reply "so just over a year then?" in the first place? I think it's obvious. But if the person says "no, 13 months!" then both parties are simply silly.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:58:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So just over a year old?"
"Oh wow you can do math and be an asshole at the same time! That's impressive"
Opie59 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except that's just a stock response. At least to me. "How old is he" is the same in my brain as "he's just over a year right?"
I respond with "13 months" or "yep, 13 months." That's just how some parents think.
Of course I don't know how the interaction with his sister went down.
narrill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We do know how the interaction went down though, since he typed all of it out a few posts up.
niacin16 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:15:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, this was my point.
If we had been talking about [nephew] saying first words or walking vs crawling sure, months make sense. That was not the case.
ridethedeathcab ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 23:37:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just like you don't have to refer to her child's age in months she doesn't have to do so in years. It's not like its difficult to figure out how many years 15 months is. Is this really something to get worked up about?
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:18 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel that after 12 months/1 year of age that, in most cases, (there are expections) it is trivial to refer to your child's age in months.
In my society, as I am sure most English speaking ones do, most of the human population is referred to age by years and it is not unreasonable to expect it to be done as such after a year.
Is it something to get so worked up about? Probably not. But I am just kinda randomly posting on reddit. ;)
CreepTheNet ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:23:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I ask other parents how old their (young) child is, I want to know months so I can compare my also (young) child. Soooo much development happens each month, that it DOES matter.
Ppleater ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only to people who care about the development. For people who just want to know the basic age, years is preferred.
ThePolemicist ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:54:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really think it depends. You might think it's weird, but almost all parents tell other parents that a child is 13 or 14 months old instead of saying "a year old." That's because months make a huge difference. A baby who is 11 months old is probably not speaking at all. A baby who is 13 months old probably speaks multiple words. Really, there are big differences in just those couple months.
Imagine if you were 16 years old, and your aunt asked your mom, "Oh, he just had a birthday? He must be a teenager now?" And your mom says, "Well, he's not just a teenager. He's 16 years old." And your aunt says, "Yes, but that's just a teenager." And your mom says, "There's a big difference between 13 years old and 16 years old. He's going to high school and driving." Is the mom annoying for clarifying the difference between a 13 year old and a 16 year old? I mean, maybe the aunt doesn't really care, and that's fine, but there is a difference.
I get that most non-parents don't care whether a baby is 11 months old or 13 months old, but I can also tell you that most parents will feel like they are lying if they call their 13 or 14 month old "one year old." There's just too much of a difference in age in those early months.
Here's a video of how a newborn behaves.
Compare that to this baby, 6 months older, sitting and babbling noises. Really, think about that change in just 6 months. Pretty wild.
Here's a baby at 12 months old. You can see the baby is able to get around easily and plays with objects really well.
Now compare that 12 month old to this 14 month old. You can see there is still a huge developmental difference between 12 and 14 months.
Ppleater ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 04:53:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OK I don't think you really got the meaning behind my comment. Like I said when the developmental stage of the baby is relevant to the askers interest, or to the conversation, then its perfectly reasonable to use months instead of years. I established that.
Using your analogy, say I'm asking "is your kid a teenager"? I'm not asking "is your kid driving? Is he in highschool? Is he sixteen?" I'm asking "does he have a "teen" in the word when you say his age?" I'm asking if he's between the ages of 13 and 20. If I care about specifics I'll ask about specifics. I don't care if the baby is 18 months old, I want to know how many birthdays he's had. I'd ask "how many months" if I wanted to know the specifics. Also if I ask how old your kid is and you say he's 13, then he's still a teenager, just like a baby is still a baby when its younger than a certain age. I know there's a difference between a 13 year old and a 16 year old, and if that difference becomes relevant then I will take the information into account. But I don't care about the difference, I just care about the number attached to his age.
I get that the months make a difference, I'm not asking about the difference, I'm asking casually about his age. I'm not a mother, it would be pretty obvious to any woman that I ask that I'm not a mother, I'm not someone who is asking if he's started crawling or speaking yet, or if he has object permanence, I'm asking how many years old he is.
ThePolemicist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:06:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really do get what you're saying, because when non-parents asked me our children's ages when they were babies, I always rounded to the year or half year once they were a year old. But I'm telling you, I felt like I was lying most of the time. When they were ~14 months old, it felt like I was lying to say they were a year old. I also hated saying they were about a year and a half when they were 16 months old because my kids still preferred crawling at 16 months old... whereas it's a medical concern if a child isn't walking at 18 months old.
So I get what you're saying, but I also get why these parents are more specific.
RulerOf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:16:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How old is your baby?"
"XX months"
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I CLEARLY WANTED YEARS AND DIDN'T SPECIFY AND NOW I'M SO ANGRY."
Parents are more cognizant of age in a quantity of months. That's just the way it is. If you want years when you ask the question, then either specify it when you ask, ask again as a followup question, or learn to do some simple math.
If you can't handle the grade school arithmetic required to determine the approximate number of years that any small quantity of months translates to, maybe you should instead be flustered with yourself for not being able to tolerate simple unit conversion, rather than being upset with the person who answered a question that didn't beg specific units in the answer.
Ppleater ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:46:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it so strange to want the easy casual answer for a casual question? When someone asks you the age of a baby, its much easier to understand "a year and a half" than it is to take time to do the "simple math" you know what's even simpler? Not having to do math at all. When someone casually asks me something I don't give them the detailed answer that I'll understand but they might take a moment to get, because I'm not an asshoke, because I understand that it's far more courteous to give them the simpler and more direct answer that they wanted. If they want more info they are free to ask. I'm not going to tell them about paintbrush teqniques when they ask what kind of painting a picture is. I'm going to say its an oil painting.
allgoaton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone says something like "he's 19 months" I end up counting on my fingers to try to figure out how old the kid actually is. I understand developmental milestones are important, but I'd sooner say "he turns two in December."
RulerOf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
12, 24, 36, 48
12, 24, 36, 48
12, 24, 36, 48
The pattern breaks down at 5*12, but when you're talking months, people tend to switch to years after 60 months is reached.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
But there is a big difference between a one year old 13 month old and a one year old 23 month old. Heck imo there's a difference between a 19 month old "almost-two-year-old" and a 23 month old "almost-two-year-old" but like I said in my original comment that OP's sister could have been the bigger person and said, "Fine, the kid is just over a year old!" They both sound equally pig-headed; they deserve the frustration they cause each other lol.
Edit: As for your generalization that when someone asks how old your baby is, they don't really care what the age is in months - I respectfully disagree. Maybe all these out and proud child-free (really, anti-child) types don't care, but many people who have babies, work with babies, and/or don't hate babies give a shit about the difference a month makes. When my son was young, many people would try to guess exactly how many months he was. Even when I couldn't remember exactly how many months he was (was it 19, or 20), I would have to count, so I could give these people an exact number. People who roll their eyes at this sort of stuff need to get over themselves imo.
APiousCultist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But 'just over' establishes the margin of error very solidly.
Ppleater ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can say "a year and one month" or "a year and a half" or "hell be two in three months". In an average conversation its not hard to know which version someone is asking for. A person on the bus usually wants the age, a woman with a child might want the months. But most people don't need to know or care if they're just asking casually. Its not being stuck up, its just not being invested in the child's developmental stage. And it's not hard to tell which type of person you're talking to.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 23:28:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a 1 year old that is 12 months old is a LOT different than a 1 year old that is 23 months old.
Toadxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Completely irrelevant.
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 23:37:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally relevant, are you retarded?
Have you ever seen a 12 month old and a 23 month old sitting next to each other?
Toadxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read the comment you replied to, again. They specifically said that if the child's developmental stage is relevant, using months is fine. If someone just wants to know the age in years, months can be annoying. Therefore, you pointing out that there is a difference between a 1 year old child at one end of the year and the other end, is completely irrelevant, because their point was that most people aren't going to give a shit. They just want to know the years.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Again, a 12 month old is 1 and a 23 month old is 1, but they're completely different age wise. They are not "1" They are "12 months" and "23 months."
I honestly don't know any adult or parent that looks at a sub 2 year old and expects the parent to say "1".. they would look at you like you're crazy.
And if you hear "14 months" and think, "I don't give a shit about months, that kid is 1" then don't fucking even bother to ask in the first place.
Spuddolas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they're 23 months the actual human, sensible, not autistic response is "two next month, thanks for asking".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, technically at 23 months you just tell your toddler to tell the person who asked, since they can usually respond by that age.
Toadxx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:18:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are still 1 year of age, almost 2. It doesn't matter if they are vastly different. That doesn't change time.
Ppleater ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 01:30:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Average person asking doesn't give a shit. Just say "he turned one last month" or "he turns two in a month". Or say "he's almost two". They don't want the details.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Again, not true. I often times said "he's a little over one" and had DOZENS of people ask me "oh, how many months?"
Maybe you don't care, but you're wrong to assume the average person isn't legitimately interested when they're actually asking. Do you know why? Because most people aren't fucking morons and realize that age in months is relevant at certain ages.
chasingreno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But she still shouldnt act like hes wrong when he says hes just over a year old... because thats still true
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:24:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree that the sister with the baby seemed excessively pigheaded about this topic.
homeworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Once they can tell you how old they are you don't need to count by months anymore.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok? And? Your comment makes me almost positive that you didn't read mine as it has nothing to do with it... I could be wrong, but...?
homeworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was agreeing with you about why it's ridiculous to use 36 months.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:19:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can see 18 months working, only because saying he is 1.5 years old seems off. Saying he is nearly 2 is off, Saying he is 1 is off.
[deleted] ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 21:42:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well you wouldn't actually say "one-point-five", you'd say "one-and-a-half", which isn't so weird
darcys_beard ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 23:22:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So until my kids hit 2, I'd always think in months, and up to a year, I'd tell people how many months. But between 1 and 2 I'd say 'just turned one', 'turned one in February', 'one and a half', 'almost 2', etc. Because who really gives a fuck apart from the parents? My daughter is 2 since February and I literally would have to work out how many months she is now: 24 + 1,2,3,...5 = two. She's two.
Bergauk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost three.
steggo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:53:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Between 1 and 2, I'd try to gauge who was asking. Relatives or other parents at the playground got months until 18 months. Friends, random people at the store, etc got "just over a year"
theageofnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
one-and-five-tenths
Gsusruls ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 22:29:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see any problem with them actually saying how many months, update to about two years (he's 13 months now). The annoyance really kicks in when you generalize (oh, ok, about a year) and they counter pretentiously (no, 13 months, it's developmentally different than a year).
notakillerjustfat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:29:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I would have had to walk away. What a fucking idiot
ProbablyPuck ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:27:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have to keep track because healthcare providers want to know. For everyone else I just round off to the nearest year.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:53:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess she could have said YES, hes 13 months, but, months are pretty important in development children that age up to ~2 years or so.
edifyyo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crap. This made me realize that I'm guilty of this. Sorry, everyone.
niacin16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:13 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's ok! I just want you to know not everyone cares about months... :(
It's important to you... just not to me...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:57:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah, I understand using months to talk to your doctor or nurse or someone else who it matters for, but generally people ask because they want to know the age of your baby. I know I certainly don't know or care about the development to month ratio.
Leftieswillrule ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:36:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The whole "development terms" is always so irritating. I'm not your kid's doctor, I don't need to know his development status, it's called small talk.
Sonja_Blu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, exactly. It's small talk, spare me the details.
TwoTreeBrain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:52:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even pediatricians stop caring about the actual number of months somewhere between 18 months and two years, and they're paid to give a shit.
yildizli_gece ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:10:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a fellow parent, I can attest that the only people who give a sh-t about precise ages for babies are pediatricians and, sometimes, other moms who are obnoxious about precision.
As someone who always, always hated the precise month counts (really? "18 months"? Not "one and a half"?!), I never was month-specific when asked.
And to the "developmental age" BS? Just hang out with her a few minutes and you'll figure out how developed she is soon enough.
Sauerteig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sooo, she didn't celebrate his first birthday? Because that was meaningless? weird.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:09 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha perfect.
dexikiix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol! doesn't change the fact that 13 is just over 12. people...
wdr1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, 13 months vs 1 year is pretty obnoxious, especially expecting someone other than the parent to say it, but there is a pretty big fucking different between a one year old and a child who is 18 months. That tends to be why parents will tell you the age in months. It can be slow getting out of it, but by 3, they should start using years.
strib666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't have kids, so you wouldn't understand."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the exact conversation which lead to my friend never seeing his niece again due to bitchy sister-in-law.
Kuato2012 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My bad... 1.083 years old."
corgidogmom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was once watching my friend's kid while she played at the playground for a minute. Another mom asked me how old she was and I said "oh just over a year" and she looked at me like I was a horribly negligent mother and goes "oh well (name of her baby) is fifteen months old..." Good for her bitch. Then my friend came back and was obviously the mom so I hope that other lady realized she was a dult and felt embarrassed.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:25 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha, i loved that story.
Codeshark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1 year or 13 months, they still can't beat me at Madden, so who cares?
defsubs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:57:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You better slap that bitch the next you see her just for me.
JangSaverem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You dont understand because youre not a mother"
oh, so thats what made you suddenly think you are not a moron...gotcha. Motherhood did this
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're obsessed with parenting guides and assume that your kid sits right in the middle of every developmental timeline bell curve.
TheDesktopNinja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I generally allow for parents to use the x-months old thing until around 3 years old, but they damn well better not expect me to return the favor. And if you say so-and so is 4X months old, I automatically hate you. 39 is the highest number allowed for that. HARD CAP.
nahfoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a conversation I heard between my dad and his friends 23 year old son "So I heard you sister had a baby? What was is like 3 or 4 weeks ago now?" "Nah it's been longer than that, maybe like a month or so?
cayal3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And a month is the different before being 11 months old and a year old.
rotinom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a parent, I agree to a point. 18 mos is the upper end in my opinion. Then they are "almost two".
The "month" nomenclature is a combination of "shit changes fast with kids" and "holy shit, my kid is alive and so am I. My clothes were washed in the past week and I think I took a shower yesterday. Holy shit! I feel great with a solid 4 hours of sleep!"
To be honest, we do realize that 13 mos is pedantic..
vuhleeitee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in early child development. It really isn't. 12 month olds are basically the same as13 month olds. Some can walk, some can't, other than that, they're basically the same.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Given how much variance there is in most of the developments we can see, yeah i don't care how many months old your child is. Just looking for a general age estimate. Nearest year or half year will do.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:33 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that's all I need.
GoFidoGo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She shouldn't have corrected you but she's not wrong.
aznman375 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:21:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking from a healthcare perspective it's actually a nice distinction (I work in the ED) but yeah to anyone else it's pretty unnecessary.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:41 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's all I'm saying. ;)
minimus_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:35:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Babies grow at such an alarming rate that there will be noticeable differences between 12- and 13-month-old babies. Of course, this reduces over time - it would be facetious to describe a baby (or toddler I guess) as 37 months.
Rmanager ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:20:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a score keeper. There are multiple journals in that bitch's house where every single thing the little lord does is recorded and measured against a statistical average.
Every time his lordship is ahead of the curve, he's "advanced." Every time he's behind the curve, the stats are skewed and there are special circumstances why his little highness is exempt from that one.
You'll need to go ahead and nuke her from orbit. It is the only way to be sure.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:00 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well, this was 10 years ago now. Kid would manipulate shit like you wouldn't believe. She's not in the kids (3 of them now, he's the oldest) lives so much in recent days (10 years later) which is for the better but the fall out is tough to straighten out. But my bro is doing a great job.
AJohnsonOrange ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like she's expecting you to pull out a fucking graph to chart how well the child is developing depending on his age versus the standard growth rate of the average child.
No. You just want the rough age in order to be polite.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:40 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes, thank you.
bozwizard14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Her point about development is right but it doesn't change the fact that the kid is over a year old.
CreepTheNet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have kids? I always thought this too, but then I had my own and I realized there is a huuuuuuuge difference between 1 year old / 13 months and 1 year old / 20 months.
huuuuuge developmental milestones happen in those early years, so when talking to other moms, gauging development compared to other kids in their age group, etc --- a couple months DOES matter, big time.
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:27 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, I don't have kids.
12 and 13 months are hardly different, even medical professionals agree.
Completely aside from that though, parents fail to realize the lack of importance to other people. Most people really only want approximations anyway.
I_Am_Jacks_Scrotum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's fair until about 18 months, because she's right, a 16-month old, neurotypical child is very different from an 18-month old, neurotypical child. After that, "almost 2" is fine, followed shortly by "I'm so sorry" from any parents in the vicinity.
Thunderjugs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think the same thing then I had a kid.
You may not care but developmentally she is correct and it tells people where her baby in terms of growth. When they are little every month it's something new. 10 months is different than 13 months is different than 16 months. It also has to do with the way clothing sizes are until you hit 24 months, then 2t, then 3t.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People usually describe kids' ages in months until around age 2 bc you still have regular Dr check-ups at certain month intervals and that's how you track if the kids are meeting their milestones. If your kid isn't walking at age one, you can make yourself feel better by stating his/her age in months. After 18 months it is kind of stupid though...
Honestly, I tell people my dog is 18 months old bc he's crazy and acts like an a-hole and I'm trying to express that he's still kind of a puppy even though he's 100lbs.
niacin16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:16 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, that's awesome about your dog.
I don't disagree about milestones because they are clearly important, but I feel like most of the time it's trivial to refer to age in months to the average person. (Especially in this particular case as she knew me very well in that I do not have, nor even like kids... for the most part. But that is aside from the point.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:22 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I totally agree, but I'm probably still going to find myself saying my kid is 22 months old to someone who is thinking, "ffs just round up to 2".
One thing that I never realized about moms that I totally get now is that we are all super tired and our brains have shrunk to cope with hanging out with kids all of the time. It's not an excuse, but it's like we are a subset of society that's temporarily out of our minds; thinking we know all of this stuff while the rest of society is just rolling their eye and waiting for the day we come back to the real world.
Dragon_DLV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Then you respond, 'Yes, he's just over a year old. Thirteen months!' "
niacin16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:36 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It almost felt like a comedy sketch.
Dodgiestyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A month really is NOT a lot in development terms. If there is one thing I've learned as a parent, is that kids develop at different rates. They are just as unique and varied as real people. What one kids does at 13 months, another does at 17 and another does at 8.
thatJainaGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, that's why parents and doctors use months rather than years for children. A 12 month old and an 18 month old are both "one," but the 18 month old will be significantly more developed.
euno ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:13:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
3 1/12.
thatoneone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard a woman say "23 months, 24 mos next month" ....you couldn't just say "2, next mo"?!
TheInternetSays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saved me doing the maths on that! Thanks
a_white_american_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, sorry how many is that in months?
Aeropro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But she's reading at a 1st grade level!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my 12th tri-mester
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially with kids over 2. I mean if you say she's 18 months or something... that's pretty normal with development being what it is.
TheGlenrothes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say months when a parent asks me, and I say years when a non-parent asks me
tilywinn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:27:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for doing the maths for us. You da real MVP! :'(
chcampb ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:15:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah if you respond with months and the number is greater than 11, you are wrong.
That's an improper fraction, people!
aedansblade36 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:13:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
+1 month
TooManyMeds ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:55:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I'm 232 months old
noonecanknowwhoiam ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:54:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*3 1/12th
SonicFlash01 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:50:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Their age is "still a useless lump" until they aren't. Then they can use year numbers.
TheGlenrothes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:05:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say months when a parent asks me, and I say years when a non-parent asks me.
TheGlenrothes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:05:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say months when a parent asks me, and I say years when a non-parent asks me.
TheGlenrothes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:05:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say months when a parent asks me, and I say years when a non-parent asks me
Danleyb ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:26:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just as frustrating when you're trying to avoid doing this and say "nearly two" only to get blank stares and a reply of "but how many months?"
Ovenproofcorgi ยท 735 points ยท Posted at 20:00:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have kids but from my understanding it's because there are developmental changes at certain points. But! That is something you use for doctors and clothing, not when a family member asks.
junkit33 ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 23:23:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You use months until 2, then you usually use half years for a couple more years. (So 2, 2.5, 3, 3.5...) By 5 you just start using the whole number.
For example, at 10 months a baby may not even be crawling yet, but at at 15 months they could be walking. So if you round either to '1', it doesn't say much of anything about where they probably are developmentally.
By 2, a month or two doesn't make as much of a difference, but 6 months is still quite notable.
YouthMin1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:57:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Essentially my feelings on the matter.
meyerjaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, basically use 2's for everything. Your child isn't 17 days old, it is 2 weeks old. Your child isn't 9 weeks old it's 2 months old. As soon as you can count a larger unit of measure by 2, use that one.
And while we are on children, calling a child "it" when the gender isn't known is perfectly fine. My wife and I didn't find the sex of our son and I got so much shit for referring to him as "it". What do you think a gender neutral pronoun is for!!
Kalapuya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Both my kids were walking before 10 months.
aneasymistake ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:54:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's true, but the point is that the person asking doesn't give a shit.
random314 ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 22:29:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Parents usually say that out of habit. And you stop counting in months after two.
Vigilante17 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:06:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But the kid will tell you he's 4 and 1/2 for 9 months.
inshane_in_the_brain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:20:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped after 11 months... but im dad
SmaterThanSarah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a mom. I stopped after 18 months. After that I gave ages in half years until about 5.
deesmutts88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My son is 11 months. He's "almost 1" to people who aren't parents.
Ashley777 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:25:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to stop now.
captainAwesomePants ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:12:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It matters to other parents with similarly aged kids. A 12 month old and a 23 month old are very different. Also matters for buying clothes and toys. Until around 2.
SpinningNipples ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But why not just say "A year and 3 months"?
captainAwesomePants ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:21:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That way is longer.
itouchboobs ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:58:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah one is 1 and one is 2.
ZeldaZealot ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:35:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have kids either, but I'm pretty sure that they stop counting months between two and three years.
Opie59 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a son at 22 months, but I stopped a couple months ago. He's been "almost 2" for like 2 months.
drlala ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:38:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Baby clother go up to 24 months, than its 2T and 3T... no months.
JediSource ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. Kids change so drastically from month-to-month that using months makes sense for some time.
I have two kids and I always figured after my oldest turns two, I'd start using years and not months to tell people how old she is. But until then, if you ask how old my kid is I will tell you in months to the best that my exhausted brain will allow.
xixoxixa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:30:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Clothes are usually sized by months up until 2 or 3 years, depending on brand.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:14:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It goes by a rule of 2s basically.
Count in days until 2 weeks. Count in weeks until 2 months. Count in months until 2 years.
After that it's only acceptable to say 2 1/2 if you really need to clarify.
MisterFizzBiscuit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even doctors and psychologists pretty much stop using months instead of years for subjects that are 3 or older.
Ryanwins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It becomes ingrained into you as a parent. Everything from medicine to clothes to leaflets is referred to in months at that age. It's difficult to think in other terms. It also allows the parent to feel like the baby means something in age terms. "Under 1" sounds like shit but "11 months" sounds like an achievement.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:15:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. My youngest is 19 months, technically "a year" old. My niece is literally one year old. They are worlds apart in development (eg: my daughter can walk, talk, feed herself, etc while niece can just crawl and is starting to feed herself).
So yeah, I tell people my daughter is 19 months. If you don't like it, don't ask.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:31:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Hyabusa1239 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:41:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed but I feel the OP was just being hyperbolic. Obviously it's just anecdotal evidence but I've never heard anyone refer to their kid in months past 2yo
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:43:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I would never say that my 3 year old is 38 months because that's insane.
pastapillow ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:59:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your child is a year and a half. Deal with it.
Maskirovka ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:44:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Know how people count car leases by months? That's because the number of payments is relevant. Kid months are relevant when they're 1-2 years old. You probably don't have kids or a car lease so I'm sure this is a difficult concept.
I'll bet you said "school year" even though school doesn't last 12 months. School is shorter than a year. Deal with it.
TehSeraphim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At a certain point (I feel like...two maybe? You just go yo years.
UndeadBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use it because people ask me how many months old my kid is. I don't keep track of the weeks and months, but nosy strangers always want to know.
twisted_memories ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You stop counting milestones in months after 24 because they start to vary more.
VAGINA_EMPEROR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good rule of thumb:
Months up to 18
Half years up to 5
Years after that
mimsywerethey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus clothing ends at 24 anyways. And you can just buy 2t at that point. Source: used to slang baby clothes.
thatoneone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:59:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but I didn't ask about development stage, I asked about age!
Maskirovka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but lots of people say they're 25 but act like they're 12, etc.
thatoneone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:00:29 on August 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if age was represented by maturity status for all of us this would be an interesting world
Maskirovka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:19 on August 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, but children's brains are different than adult brains. It's simply a fact.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I may be a bad parent but at 18 months I stopped paying attention to my kids milestones. He's talking and running and jumping. I think he is aight.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I figured it out. They must have missed the "12 months in a year" stage during their own development.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's true, but the majority of the time, the person you're talking to doesn't really care about what milestones your kid has reached. When I ask how old they are, all I want to know is how long they have been outside of your/your lady's body. That's it. I don't care if little Jimmy can count to ten or sing a song or any of that. I just want to know how old they are.
denfilade ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:45:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well then, little Jimmy's thirty seven months old.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:47:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 23:55:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Hyabusa1239 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And it's not that hard to understand that at that very young age months are relevant. By your logic why not just say you are 30 even though you are 34? It's because those years are relevant and make a difference. When you are under 2, months are what is relevant.
If you are so interested in how long they are alive then you shouldn't be bothered by a truthful statement, X months IS how long they have been alive.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Hyabusa1239 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol yeah I'm not buying it. If you can't even be bothered to listen to someone and care about their childs milestones why would you give a flying fuck "how long they have been out of the womb"? How is that relevant to you at all?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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Hyabusa1239 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have but generally if I am curious about a person enough to know how old they are, I am curious enough to know more about them and don't mind them sharing other things in the slightest. I don't get annoyed because they shared a minor fact (that ties directly into age, re: milestones) or because they worded something differently than I would have. You sound like an abysmal person to know.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Hyabusa1239 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol you're hilarious.
Clearly...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Hyabusa1239 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guess what's relevant to a person? Their kid. Sorry that's such a hard concept for you to grasp. Generally speaking if you care about someone, you care about what they care about. If you truly can't be bothered to do that, understand that that is what they care about. Also understand that people like to talk about the things that matter to them, and at the very least not be annoyed with them for doing so.
jo44_is_my_name ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:04:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, you sound like a real dick. God forbid anyone every tell you anything that may be relevant to them if you didn't ask for it explicitly. You sound like a self-centered jack-ass.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:07:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jo44_is_my_name ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you care how long the child has been alive then, and why does that need to be measured in years? Seems somewhat arbitrary.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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jo44_is_my_name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your fact about parents is not a fact, that is just shit you made up based on your self-centered perception.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jo44_is_my_name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why even bother with a canned internet response like that? I mean, if you're done, you could simply stop replying.
jo44_is_my_name ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:17:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is self-centered, is that you are ignoring that expressing their child's age in months is they way they think of it. And that you are faulting them for expressing themselves naturally, and not going out of their way to censor their language so that you are not (heaven forbid) exposed to information you were not interested in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jo44_is_my_name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think you can guess what one of the things that annoys me is?
jo44_is_my_name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BTW, I'm quite calm. It doesn't change the fact that I think you are a jack-ass, but, internally, y'know, I'm not overtly angry about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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jo44_is_my_name ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:47:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Strong words, perhaps. Can you not imagine them being delivered calmly, with a tone of disbelief?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jo44_is_my_name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think have time for another 6 or so responses -- I should probably wrap up soon, I'm getting tired.
UndeadBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is so incorrect. Other people, even strangers, seem to have more interest in my own kids' milestones than I do. They want to know many months old my daughter is, what grade my son is in, and all kinds of crap that has no relevance in their lives whatsoever. It shouldn't matter to anyone else, but other people are definitely interested for reasons beyond my understanding.
Nikcara ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:52:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It makes a lot of sense for the first year, but after about a year to a year and a half it gets obnoxious. There isn't a noticeable difference between 24 months and 25 months, for example.
spidereater ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:23:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a 16 month old and it's true that a month makes a big difference right now. I expect to stop counting the months around 2 years old. For one thing kids are already diverging. It almost feels judgey to talk about months right now because one kid is going to be ahead of the other. I might use quarters or halves after 2. If I heard about a 37 month old I would probably assume they were infantilized and still breastfeeding or something.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:29:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Maskirovka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doctors and other professionals, stores, etc, are the ones using the month system.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:30:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, yeah, 12 months is WAY different from 23 months, but most people probably don't care that much.
ulthrant82 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:49:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If your doctor can't multiply by 12 maybe it's time for a new doctor. :P
vuhleeitee ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:32:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah....you can just go by 'and a half's after a year.
LaBelleCommaFucker ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After one year, the months are just annoying. Right now my baby cousin is nine months. On his birthday, he's getting upgraded to years like the rest of us.
doesntshoweroften ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:16:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I reckon saying like 18 months is fine even to family and friends.
kumquat_may ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 20:28:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have the time?
Yes, its 972 minutes past midnight.
DarnTootinPatty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:17:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Say that's a nice stroller...
Yeh, I got it for 58 cheeseburgers.
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:05:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's the cutoff? 2 years? There's a big difference between 1 and 2.
Gorkymalorki ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:09:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah kids clothes usually go by month, and 18-24 months is the last size before they go into toddler size, so after that you need to be saying years not months.
gats4cats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my cousins once said that her kid was 54 months. I went blind from rolling my eyes too hard.
ssplam ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:08:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I will forgive up to 24 months... then it's whole years, or maybe halvsies.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:48:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ssplam ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:21:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly.
Depending on how well I know them I might make fun or correct. If they are already non-favorites, it simply adds reasons to the list of why I don't like them.
GimpedNinja ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:57:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this trend was started by math teachers as a "fuck you" to the kids saying they'd never use this shit in real life
Childish_Username ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Making them do basic division?
The HORROR
GimpedNinja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OK, so it's not difficult, just obnoxious
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:09:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That will make you dislike someone strongly?
CaptainTuttle_4077th ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. The number of people who can't discern that I'm just mildly aggrivated by this is staggering.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're surprised by people's responses when you are the one who didn't answer the question correctly?
CaptainTuttle_4077th ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not going to argue over a comment on reddit
chloenargles ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:40:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at Gymboree. I feel this in my soul.
UberLolSandvich ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:11:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Motherfuckers making you do math n shit...
Tootsie-Rollin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My little dude is 3 and some. I could do the math but ... Meh. Some parents actually ask, drives me nuts.
CoolHandPB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just tell them the month he was born, let them do the math.
Duke_Thunderkiss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like you can get away with month as age up to 23 months, but not beyond it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter hits a year old tomorrow and I'm so excited to be done with the months crap.
ahhhhhhhnold ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They should use trimesters.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"How old is she in seconds though?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped this as soon as mine turned 18 months. It annoys me so damn much. My son turns 2 in September. Go me~~!!
Pookah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
3.083333333333333
Foxyfox- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only time you should be referring to age in months beyond the first year should be clinical discussions of child development, where weird intervals like 18 months and 28 months can be somewhat important development points.
urmombaconsmynarwhal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't stand this either past 1 year old
CourierOfTheWastes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What time is it?"
"811 minutes"
kidfromkor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying, "She just turned 3" would be less annoying
TranshumansFTW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hnshot1st ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh she's 37 months...do you have the time?
Yes it's 567 minutes past 12
Deviknyte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Up to 18 months is acceptable. Then it's almost 2.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna say it by how many days old it is.
Sarah_Connor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am the proud parent of three girls, 24, 48 and 120 months old.
Tim_WithEightVowels ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how you know she's a robot.
I'm sure if you ask her what time it is, she'll give you the miliseconds since Jan 1st 1970.
PamPooveyIsTheTits ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone on /r/parenting asked for advice on their 30 month old and the first so meant was "... Your child it 2.5 years old". I'd never seen someone in real life refer to their child in months over the age of 2!
Geographist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My son just turned 35 fortnights.
thisismynewreddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I found I did that only because Dr. visits want to know how many months and kids clothes are also measured in months for a long time. It became easier just to know how many months they were.
unpopularOpinions776 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Acceptable if under 1 year though.
morgado ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
relevant onion article.
Blaz3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So she's 12 quarters huh?
Rem6a ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I get that in Man years? Oh 3yrs old. The kid told me
BigButt_BiggerHeart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couple weeks ago my boss said her kid was 54 months. 54! I was in disbelief for a solid 2 mins.
ismaelvera ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah I get it, it's a math problem! * pulls out calculator. Do decimals count?
K1CKPUNCH3R ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always thought this, and as a relatively new dad I'm proud to say that I don't do this. Never even had the slightest inclination.
"How old is your daughter?"
"One and... something... you look at her. She's a small kid. Not driving yet."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
always have a rough estimate to how many days old you are on hand
Christ_on_a_Crakker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
528 months. Fuck my life.
Etteluor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My little nephew is 157 months! so cute.
4ray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How old is your baby (5mo)?
Zero.
Kylebeans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok but how old is she in dog years
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck. I'm a claims rep for a company that manages tax shelter accounts for childcare (among other things), and there's a section on the claim form where it asks for the child's age. Multiple times a day I consider denying a claim just for irking me because your child is 2 years old, not 25 fucking months. I even came across one last week that had it broken down to 47 weeks or something awful like that. It's a good thing I can't deny claims because folks piss me off.
invisiblewardog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are single-handedly responsible for the biggest use of the calculator app in mobile devices this week. Nice.
checks his age in months
CaptainTuttle_4077th ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hee hee hee
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The moment where I could breathe easy after giving my daughters age in months instead of weeks was so good. Can't wait until it's years.
homeworld ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone who posts monthly facebook photos that depict how many month's his kid is... It's up to like 40 something.
Copper_Lontra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably in the minority here, but I do want to point out one exception that could be ok to say. 18 months. Maybe it's just the way people in Kansas say "a year an a hafe" that drives me bonkers.
G8kpr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That bugged me even when my kids were little.
"my daughter is 85 months old tomorrow"
Tomorrow my daughter will be 1461 days old.. Yippie!
BadBoyJH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
24 months. The standard time after which doctors stop giving a fuck about how many months old your child is, and want years is 24 months.
dreamporschereality ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
37 / 12 = 3.083333333333333 ...
dogtreatsforwhales ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BITCH I AM 242 MONTHS
Slobotic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1125 days old. Time flies.
shred1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"90 years young"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to start telling people that I'm 372 and a half months just to fuck with them.
fongaboo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:03:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
do kids have half-lives?
WaLizard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:43:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, that's like, 2 weeks, right?
chappersyo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 374 months old and that's how many fucking candles I want on my cake
BlueEyedNerdGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SooooOooooOoo
I'm a mom. And a baby can change a HUGE amount in a week. Let alone a month. I'm talking a little bundle that can't roll over to completely mobile in a matter of weeks! Clothing is sized in months, appropriate food is labled in months, doctors visits are dictated by the month. How many months old our baby is, is constantly drilled into our brain.
So when a stranger asks how old my son is and I say "18 months" because he just got his 18 month shots, is wearing size 18 month pants, and was pulled from my body 18 months ago. And you say with a sneer "You mean a year and a half?"
I will say "I'M SO GLAD YOU CAN MATH! HOW DUMB OF ME NOT TO PUT IT IN YOUR FAVORITE TIME MEASUREMENT YOU PUTRID BAG OF DICKS."
jaded423 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:11 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Freaking this! Love it
CaptainTuttle_4077th ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:01:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa. Easy. I'm just kidding around about parents who use months for way too long. Relax, momma bear.
DonKeighbals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not here to deal with your cunt-nugget AND do math, bitch!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that like 6 inches
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do they do this?
It takes more time to say 37 months than 3 years.
You're making work for yourself.
CoolHandPB ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:32:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's an indication of development. There are general milestones a child reaches (Smiling, rolling over, babbling, sitting, standing, walking, first words) so you are paying attention to their age in months and how they are growing and developing.
There is a big difference between where a kid is at at 12 months to say 15 months. The months matter until a kid is 2 then it's not as important but I think it becomes habit.
For me if I ask how old your toddler is, I want to know how many months old he is so I can effectively judge him and you.
boost_poop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so very much THIS! I give them 17 months. after that you must only state your child's age down to the half year. your child is not 24 months, they are 2 years.
MarlaSinger36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. If I'm forced into doing math to discover your kid's age, I've lost interest in you and the kid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn
commiemetric system.dopplegangerexpress ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On a similar note, when do you stop referring a baby's length and call it height?
gravshift ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damnit lady that kid just turned 3. Once they are thinking about preK, it's time to drop the months.
Sharkn91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
guYS I TURNED 296 Months like yesterday or something!
sublimemongrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha that one gets to me too. It's not like it's difficult to say "3"
Gsusruls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would it be all right if I divide by 12 and apply a floor function?
random314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Theres a very big difference between a 14 month and a 23 month baby... But anything over two you usually just say the year normally.
weinerish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
24 months โบ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sister gave me weird looks when I called her baby "a quarter years old".
r2tbone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you calling a 3 year old a baby?
lukey5452 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this so much my boy is two in October. If you ask me how old he is he's one not 22 months.
darcys_beard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it's cool up until they're one, because you can't just say they're zero. That's cool... right? Guys...?
Rosenkrantz_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only women and Instagram can count stud in weeks.
rubiscoisrad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is a really hippy-dippy way of referencing age. It works up to a year or two, but after a while it gets kind of crunchy.
Sweet baby Snowflake was born 37 moons ago, while Jupiter was rising..
Psezpolnica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
she's 8 quarters
Tox770 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I don't get this. I'm in my early 20s, so kids are a little far off, but I've never understood why people count months past a year.
splaps17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't get this either until I went to nursing school. I've never heard 37 months but generally babies have milestones in their growth and development that happen quicker in the first 3 years of life. Thats why people say that. It isn't to be annoying (most of the time) its just a way to make comparisons to general norms for babies at that developmental stage.
YouthMin1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm good with months up to two years. Developmentally there is a lot that happens in a short period in those two years, and the difference between a 13 month old and an 18 month old. Doctors use months up to that point for good reasons. At two years, you can start using the "and a half" mark. At 5 that needs to stop.
LukeTango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've started telling people my little brother is 276 months.
syncopacetic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's for a reason at that age, the difference between 24 months and 30 months can be huge.
RobinsEggTea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can one up you. My sister's 34 month old is a premie. Did you know? She's a premie. Just to let you know in case you didn't know.
gonggonggong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Muthafucka, during the first 24 months, each one is a big deal. Not just, it's an accomplishment each additional month you've kept your baby alive, but also they are night-and-day different each new month.
If parents are literally still going by month after they turn two, it's obnoxious, but I don't recall hearing anyone ever do this. They may be out there, but they're outliers.
ajsmitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're over exaggerating a bit, but in my experience, at least until the child is 2, it gives a better understanding of the child's age and development when expressed in months. The difference between a 12 month old and an 18 month old is insane. They are both "1", but those 6 months really do make a big difference.
BroscienceLife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, I SOMEWHAT understand it after being a recent puppy owner.
Until the 3 month mark, I always said how old he was in weeks because it made a difference in terms of where he was at in development. Once older than 12 weeks I started saying 3 months, 4 months, etc though.
SenorMcGibblets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Up until about two years, this is actually pretty useful...there should be a lot of development between 12 months and 24 months. A 12 month old might not even walk yet and only know a few words, whereas a 20 month old might be starting to make sentences and is probably mobile to the point that he or she is terrorizing the parents by getting to every fucking thing that they shouldnt.
ThunderCuuuunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a problem with people who say they're 37 instead of "in their fourth decade"? If precision of 3% is fine in one instance, why is it overly precise in the other?
I've generally not heard people cite months for age when asked after about two years. If you're asking "How old is your baby" and the "baby" in question is a three-year-old, you're kind of a jerk.
kvaltx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hah! I hate when people ask me how many months old our kid is. Neither me nor the father know in months. I used to feel pressured and rushed to math in my head (which I can't) and terrified I would get it wrong. I finally quit worrying about it and just say 4.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why people angry at parents being parents?
ratcat_007 ยท 6438 points ยท Posted at 14:49:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't judge me"
Then how the fuck am I supposed to make an evaluation of your character?
ohmygord ยท 5398 points ยท Posted at 15:29:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You've been convicted of murder in the first degree. I sentence you to life in prison without the possibility of parole."
"Don't judge me."
"Oh, my bad."
blazik ยท 3067 points ยท Posted at 15:53:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of similar:
Friend does some asshole move
"Dude what the fuck."
"I was just joking."
ManWhoKilledHitler ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 17:25:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You just shot 30 kids in an orphanage and then burned the place down!"
"Just joking around bro. Calm down."
saxyphone241 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:18:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Caaaaaaaaarrllllll that kiillllls people.
Ravanas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:39:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Listen, like I told your Captain, that orphanage attacked me. It was self-defense.
Danielsmash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's my fetish ;)
jevans102 ยท 2390 points ยท Posted at 16:37:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S JUST A PRANK BRO
Thegamer211 ยท 1662 points ยท Posted at 17:14:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
IT WAS AN SOCIAL EXPERIMENT HERE IS N CAMERA
edit:grammar
Noggin-a-Floggin ยท 415 points ยท Posted at 20:07:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BRO ITS FOR YOUTUBE CHILL
Goldhamtest ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:41:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CHOO CHOO
TheMonsterODub ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:15:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BROJOB! BROJOB!
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BROOOOOSEX BESTSEEEX
Sichais ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I DID IT FOR THE VINE
Ruvic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:43:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
he says, his body broken and twisted like some sad discarded toy. "tell my side chick.... Tell her the netflix was great"
ded
doodypoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YouTube and chill?
MrSeabody ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:16:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read that as "YOUTUBE CHILI" and was all like "where can I get this chili!?" and then realized what you actually said. Now I have no chili. :(
nucklehead97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about 2am chili?
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:50:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AM I FREE TO GO? AM I BEING DETAINED?!
lapzkauz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
STOP RESISTING
Xan_Void ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:51:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/amibeingdetained
DrOrozco ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:01:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where's your datasheet? Did you measure the independent variables and dependent? Where are your control factors? Did you find any fucking confounding variables, you pranksters piece of pucks?
hornyhooligan ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:56:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ERECTED_PENIS ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:07:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
____NotPutin____ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:34:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I WANTED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED IF I KNOCKED YOUR MOBILE OUT OF YOUR HANDS
pdgeorge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love the implications behind the dumbass saying "it's a social experiment, don't get angry at me."
No, as a social experiment you need to stand there and accept the ass kicking you are about to get.
Question: "what happens if I do blank?"
Answer: "I get my ass kicked." DON'T TAINT THE RESULTS OF YOUR OWN EXPERIMENT!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:07:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that you used "an" wrong twice on purpose makes this soooo much better. It was on purpose, right?
ha11ey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BROTHER I STILL GOT RESULTS FOR YOU COME CLOSER.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a specific incident that these comments are referring to, or are the just referring in general to all douches who pull the "just a prank" line?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:51:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's STILL SHITTY. Your edit ADDED TO THE CONFUSION!!!!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:51:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jamesd33n ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:06:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe you've done this
GallopingGorilla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:07:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See I never understood how this worked. Getting punched in the mouth is a valid outcome of ranking someone
jevans102 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe that's the point.
thepielord ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:30:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PRANKS GONE WRONG GONE SEXUAL 2015 SEX PRANK
HighClassProletariat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:34:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BROJOB BROJOB
chandleross ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
choo choo
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
just a prank
wantmywings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BRO JOB CHOO CHOOO
TheHeroicOnion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:35:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck does reddit always mention this? I've seen prank videos but never these ones that go wrong and end like this.
jevans102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be honest, now it's just a circle jerk that is guaranteed karma if used correctly. There are a few bots out there that write similar phrases to expected things and they get insane karma and gold.
As far as real pranks, they generally don't go as bad as burning a house down or whatever, but if the person is pissed, the prankster always says "it's just a prank bro! The camera is there! Chill out!"
ShipWreckLover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/itsaprank
nothing_in_my_mind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sets your house on fire
"Chill down bro, it's just a prank."
FightingDucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bro job! Bro job! Choo Choo!
TheColburninator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BROJOB! BROJOB! BROJOB! CHOO CHOO!
thankdaddy_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You cut my penis off though.
smashadages ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:04:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rule of thumb: If you have said "I'm just joking" or "its a joke" and you are above the age of 18, cut that shit out.
HiDDENk00l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even if you're below 18, just fuck off with that shit.
smashadages ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, but at least they get a pass for being dumb teenagers
elsalatare ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:13:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call this Schrodinger's Douchebag: One who does or says some stupid shit, then decides based on everyone's reactions whether or not he was kidding.
dale_glass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just kick him in the nuts, then say you were joking too.
Amberleaf29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have been known to cut people out of my life who do that. For hell's sake.
goosegoose125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hits you in the arm "I'm just joking!"
Ordies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awh, yes the Schrodinger douche.
Always a douchebag, but depends on the approval.
redbank9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then the dick friend gets legitimately upset when you return the favor and punch him in the nuts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'JUST KIDDING!'
manticore116 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Last guy to try that around me, I did a huge fake laugh in his face, and just yelled "being an asshole is definitely a laughing matter! HA HA HA." he got all pissed off and I just said deadpan "dude, it was just a joke, chill out bro"
obsertaries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your jokes reveal who you really are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my best friends does this all the time. Just something he does to his friends because he likes pissing us off. It can definitely be annoying but I don't mind if it's a joke for humors sake. However, if it's something physically or seriously emotionally harmful then they've crossed the line.
VulcanCitizen ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 16:58:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. That's me all the time. Every time I do something asshole-ish (witch is often) I pretend I was joking. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.
Kitty_Burglar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:50:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate you.
VulcanCitizen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:15:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya well you still kitties. You're the real monster.
Ordies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:03:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awh, yes the Schrodinger douche.
Always a douchebag, but depends on the approval.
VulcanCitizen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:15:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my super-villain name: the Schrodinger Douche! I'm one of the popular badass villains who gets their own spinoff.
I can't share to many detailsโฆ but I can say that I, the Schrodinger Douche, will make a cameo in Suicide Squad and maybe some other upcoming DC filmsโฆ
iBleeedorange ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 15:47:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're free to go"
WhipWing ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:35:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"DON'T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE."
MarshmellowMarksman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well as a mother..."
TheMantisStrike ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everybody go home. We're done here."
Surgess1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:25:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This guy I sort of know from my home town got "only God can judge me" tattooed across his chest 3 months before getting 8 years for aggravated assault. Guess he was wrong.
CheezyXenomorph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the past, in common law jurisdictions like the UK, Canada, the US etc. If someone wouldn't submit a plea to the court allowing the court to sit in judgement over them, they would be 'pressed'
That is to say, a heavy board would be put on them and rocks loaded onto it until they entered a plea of innocent or guilty. Without the plea the court couldn't sit in judgement and they'd just add more and more weight until the person died.
During the Salem Witch Trials, someone accused of witchcraft refused to plea and was pressed, his name was Giles Corey and whenever he was asked to plea during the process he would only reply "more weight", he died after 2 days.
ItsYaBoyAnthony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Case dismissed bring out the dancing lobsters.
butlertd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To the judge: "Buddy, people have been judging me my whole life."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Life? ... What do ya mean life? ... I ain't got a life
notmyrealnam3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"too late, this is the sentencing hearing. You were judged at trail last month, dumbass"
Very_Sharpe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know that's a really good point. Release the accused, he is not to be judged. And sir I am SO SO SORRY about this whole situation"
MJKee9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LIFE! What do you mean life? I ain't got a life!
MJKee9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boy. Your soul better belong to Jesus. Mmmhmm. Cause your ass belongs to me.
WayneQuasar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, my gord!
bloue_bulles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a big fan of "my bad" for that matter. Despite still using it...
TheTwentyTwo ยท 354 points ยท Posted at 15:53:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah god, the people that say this before or after everything they say too. "I'm eating ice cream, don't judge" "It's pistachio, don't judge" "I feel fat, don't judge"
InfinitelyAbysmal ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 16:38:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm studying law. Don't judge.
TheTwentyTwo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:48:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to answer the opposite of the question and tell you what makes me like people, puns. Don't judge.
gravshift ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:14:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is correct use of this.
I love puns. Right up there with rhymes, aliteration, limericks, stupid songs, and all sorts of entendres.
blamb211 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:13:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find wordplay to be entertaining. Good stuff.
NameIzSecret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, depending on the courses you take you won't be allowed to judge as you'll be the lawyer, the judge took other courses
wrincewind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't Judge, Barristers Inside.
Nainma ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:23:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that because you already feel bad about yourself and any active judging from others will just reinforce the poor view you have of yourself and make it all too real..
TheTwentyTwo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure I understand the question in relation to my comment.
TheDocHolliday ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:10:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I realized recently I say it a lot, but I think it's because I have a lot of anxiety and I try to anticipate what people would be thinking of me. Then I try to preemptively explain that I realize my action would warrant judgement. For example I loved stretchy pants...and I wear them sometimes to meet my friends. I don't want them to think that I think stretchy pants are acceptable. I recognize they arent, but I choose to do it anyway. Those are the "don't judge" situations.
MissBubbleButt ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:44:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to punch people who do that. NOBODY GIVE TWO SHITS IF YOU'RE EATING ICE CREAM
mbur77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:49:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a pretty good indicator of insecurity.
Aldo_The_Apache_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hail Satan, don't judge me"
dougefreshm4l ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I just housed a whole large pizza, with double cheese, don't judge me."
erispie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:11:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I confuse. For what does a pizza need a house?
[deleted] ยท 831 points ยท Posted at 15:03:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the omnipresent, "Only God can judge me."
The best response to that is, "In the Bible, only God can send you to Hell, but the church can kick you out and 'hand you to Satan.'" That's what is says anyway
calmcucumber ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 15:14:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God and the atheists.
kuppajava ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:18:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
deleted
hail_prez_skroob ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:54:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw them in concert once... I think The Pilates opened for them.
redgarrett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do Pilates before switching to Crossfit.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:38:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think if there was a God, it would be an atheist. After all, there would be no supreme being above him.
calmcucumber ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:43:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If there was a God outside of the earth with some form of intelligence, wouldnt that kind of make it an alien? Not subscribing to the ancient aliens theory just thinking out loud.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:45:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. God would be an alien from everywhere, I think. I can't conceive of it living inside the physical realm, let alone on any particular planet. He would be a special kind of being.
3kindsofsalt ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:24:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually sound Judeo-Christian doctrine. The only adjective that is repeated three times in reference to God in scripture is "holy holy holy", which doesn't mean "super religious" or even "good", it means "set apart". It's a veneration of the unique "superior otherness" of God.
thirdegree ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:28:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God is the most special of snowflakes.
calmcucumber ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:55:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like if we compare our selves to blood cells, God would be the body... Kind of thing.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We are the "speck upon speck upon god's eyelash" is how my mom said it.
But my mom is a legitimately crazy person (like... in and out of the ward crazy), so maybe she's not the best person to quote.
calmcucumber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dimensional relativity. It could be a thing.
jyetie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:08:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think it would be an extradimensional being, sort of like an eldritch abomination. A being humans wouldn't even be able to fully fathom, with heaven being a separate dimension.
Sort of like, if you drew a line on a paper and it somehow gained sentience. The line "living" in the 2nd dimension would have a hard time fathoming us in the 4th dimension.
I wasn't very religious when I came up with this, and I didn't have the strongest grasp of dimensions, I just liked the idea. I think it would work better for a pantheon instead of a single god.
calmcucumber ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The truth is that it doesn't matter what kind of cool ideas we can come up with, (pertaining to what "God" is, if he is at all) since we don't have any physical proof it'll be just that, ideas. We could use dimensions to hide the fact we don't know, and although is extremely satisfying to think of ways it could be, its all speculation. To me God is an overwhelmingly, over rated, incredibly dangerous idea, which is so ancient its become part of the human psyche.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:19:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's an awesome short film where an android reaches enlightenment in a Buddhist temple (read: AI robot becomes ASI robot), and the last words in the movie are
Human: But I thought you said there is no god.
Android: There is now.
Then the Android kills a bunch of cops trying to stop him and the movie ends. I always thought that was pretty legit. If we make robots that have ASI (artificial super intelligence), I'd have to change my religion... and I don't know what I'd call myself.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you happen to remember the name of this short film?
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:11 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember the exact name. I do remember that I watched it on Netflix, it was under the "foreign movies" section, and that it was Korean.
It had 3 parts, all world-ending. The first part was how one man's family (who was on vacation, and he was the good son doin' the cleanup) had a house so filthy, that when he brings the garbage out, you see how it started the zombie apocalypse. The second part was a kid orders a pool ball for her dad from a strange website, and it turns out to be a gigantic, dinosaur-killing-size meteor she ordered from aliens, then the third part is the one I described above with the robots.
terminator3456 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:16:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The tip your fedora & walk away to your classmate's applause.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:34:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Person 1: Stop being a jerk! Person 2: Only God can judge me! Clouds roll in, the sky goes dark, thunder and lightning crash Voice: Stop being a jerk!
TD1731 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing I hate most about this saying is that it should actually scare almost everyone who says it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'd rather be judged by a powerless human than by an all knowing deity.
ManicMuffin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
666 Upvotes. Noice
dtg108 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where does it say that?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:57:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1 Cor. 5:4-6
In the name of our Lord Jesus, when you are assembled, and I with you in spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus, 5I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. 6Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough?โฆ
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:32:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This might help in understanding:
https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/865-what-is-the-meaning-of-destruction-of-the-flesh-in-1-corinthians-5-5
TL;DR: "Turn the man over to Satan (i.e., back into the world community of debauchery), that he may reap the consequences of his rebellion (whatever physical and/or emotional disadvantages that might involve), along with distressing estrangement from a warm, loving association with the church."
Lurkndog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll arrange the meeting then. "
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And cats. Cats always judge.
BigDaddyDelish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The song Tupac wrote though is pretty catchy.
ProfessorAdonisCnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if your name is Daniel though?
DRD5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Treat people horrible and act like an asshole...it's okay only god can judge me!
PandaBurrito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like that phrase only cause it spawned a kickass 2pac song.
Jagdgeschwader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but to be fair, is there anything in the Bible that isn't bullshit?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Proverbs 25:27 It is not good to eat much honey, Nor is it glory to search out one's own glory.
Have you ever eaten a bunch of honey at once?
mongoosedog12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only Judy can judge me
theworsthammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's also because only Judy can judge.
timrbrady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Gods busy, so I'm here to tell you you're a cunt."
TimeIsWaiting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Implying they actually read the Bible.
Kaliedo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mixed the double quotes and single quotes properly. As a programmer, I like you.
(Things like (this) give me pain.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an English major, I'm glad you noticed. Apparently, there's a rule against stacked punctuation though where if you end a sentence with ")). somehow you just throw most of it out. I always try to avoid that situation.
DrMantizToboggan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:05 on August 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I like 2Pac.... :(
LOTM42 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:14:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It also says you can't wear garments of two material, you can sell your daughter into slavery, and that you can't touch pigs.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:15:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Old Testament does, but that's irrelevant now. The Old Law is no more, even the 10 commandments
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:58:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:08:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, to be fair, a lot of religious people don't realize that either. They only vaguely know that they don't have to keep kosher.
man-of-God-1023 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:20:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, who said the 10 commandments are no more? What guidelines do we follow?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, Paul says we cannot be saved by the Law, and that it's sin to try. Peter was told to kill and eat anything he wanted. Jesus said, "Love thy neighbor as thy self and Love thy Lord thy God," basically. The ten commandants are but a small portion of the Jewish Law. They were made for a time and place 2000 years ago. If you're following the 10 commandments, you have to follow the entire law.
man-of-God-1023 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Romans 3:19-20 is pretty important. Also 3:27-31, particularly 31. And check Romans 6:15.
There's generally a distinction between ceremonial law and moral law in the OT, the 10 commandments are generally seen as moral and always applicable.
Also, we ought to understand that we're not saved through obeying the law, but by Grace. The (moral) law is just a guideline to how we should live as Christians.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating Shrimp is a moral law too. We just pick and choose the ones we still want to follow. Even the Old Testament law is a guideline. David ate the bread of the presence and wasn't killed. If you love your neighbor as yourself you're going to kill them or anything else. I'm a huge proponent of Christian freedom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating Shrimp is a moral law too. We just pick and choose the ones we still want to follow. Even the Old Testament law is a guideline. David ate the bread of the presence and wasn't killed. If you love your neighbor as yourself you're going to kill them or anything else. I'm a huge proponent of Christian freedom.
man-of-God-1023 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is not eating shrimp a moral law?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a moral law for the Jews. It's not ceremonial. It's not sacramental. What do you suggest it is?
man-of-God-1023 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would think ceremonial. Didn't Peter have a vision where God told him not to consider unclean what God called clean? Regarding food (I'm assuming) and gentiles?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:11 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. God told Peter to kill and eat.
Ceremonial law is the temple law. Make sacrifices. Burnt offerings. Don't go into the Holy of Holies.
Moral law is: don't steal, don't kill, ect. Morals are prohibitions on doing things. In Leviticus God said, "Don't eat shrimp because they are abhorrent to you."
kjata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, good. Because I was really coveting some cheese fries right about now.
epicwinguy101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it your neighbor's cheese fries? If not, then you were good to go anyways. The real sin is that you didn't opt for the chili cheese fries.
Top_Gorilla17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BURN THE HERETIC!!!
kjata ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:31:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, burn him! He went that way!
Autocoprophage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, it just describes past instances of the ancient Israelites being told those things.
BruceLee1255 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually say, "Only God can judge me. And he thinks I'm an asshole."
jyetie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then I must be God, because I'm totally judging that shitty tattoo you got that says "Only God can judge me."
Torvaun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, I've been practicing, I'm pretty sure I've got this. Feel free to call up God and have him check my work, though."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God makes you show your work though
trolloc1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend saying is "only Judy can judge me" gets some laughs
Doublethunk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:56:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont think it actually says that, so it's not really that clever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look it up. 1 Cor 5:5
Doublethunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it kind seems like it exclusively applies to people who are sleeping with their fathers wife. But yeah, i guess it works.
kuilin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:14:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1 Corinthians 2:15-16:
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're taking it out of context. 1 Cor. 5:5 is regarding how to handle clear and obvious sin in the church. You rebuke gently, but if it doesn't stop, then you cut them of from the church, as God did Job, essentially. Hopefully, by being ostracized they come back.
The verses you are citing aren't about judging people. They're about learning through the spirit not the very common Greek philosophy of the time.
mousicle ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:23:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone judges everyone every moment they interact. I could be judging you are awesome, you are terrible or there is no change in my view but it's impossible to not judge people constantly.
Cayou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the only reasonable response to "don't judge me" is "I'll do whatever I want, up to and including judging you".
ReaderWalrus ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:36:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually generally try not to judge anybody, because I don't know the whole story about them.
But that's up to me, not you. YOU don't get to tell me not to judge you.
jayjay091 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you could say the same thing about anything. "Don't be an asshole" "YOU don't get to tell me not to be an asshole".
ReaderWalrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I guess you could say that but it doesn't really apply there.
BipedSnowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know I judge people, but what I try not to do is judge them unfairly. Not everyone has my experience, and so not everyone will respond the way I do.
jglee1236 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:58:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually said after doing some shit you very well should judge them for. Like cramming fistfuls of pringles into their sloppy maw until the tube is gone or picking their nose and playing with the boogers or fondling your dogs dick.
just_drea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, you need new friends.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only God can judge me" was splattered across her rib cage, highly visible due to her see-through top, as she snorted her last line of coke from the fast food bathroom toilet. She then turned to her two, new male pals and quoted them a price for the mรฉnage a trois that would shortly ensue. After the affair was finished, and the lady was paid, she made her way home to heat up the dinner her husband had cooked her and walk past her kids' rooms without so much as an "I love you Jessica, Tia, Bradley, Scott, Chad, Kevin, Nikki, Tisha, and Dylan".
Every time. Every single time.
Hab1b1 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:07:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
unless it's for something silly like the that other guy mentioned with ice cream...i actually understand this one. to me it says who are you to judge someone else? and to understand their position? let them live and do the best they can with what they have without judging/condescending eyes laying upon them.
as i said, this is, of course, situational.
jayjay091 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People just take it too literally or are being obtuse on purpose. Of course there is such a thing as being a judgmental prick. We all met people like that at least once.
NotCleverEnufToRedit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:47:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So do you like everyone you meet? Would you date everyone you meet? Would you want your kids to marry everyone you meet?
Of course not. That because we all make judgments about everyone and everything we encounter. Who am I to judge? I'm the one who will be affected by interacting with you, so I have every reason to judge whether you make the types of decisions I deem to be acceptable.
Also, the people who use this phrase the most are the ones who are making really bad life choices and they know it.
jayjay091 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No I don't, but I wouldn't "instantly dislike" and hate people based on minor details that I don't even know the full story about.
Of course everyone "judge" people, but not on the same scale. Being too self righteous and judgmental is a big character flaw for me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:13:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually when people say it, they know that they're already messed up in some way. They just don't want you acknowledging the obvious.
Arab09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was once at a Mcdonalds near my area and a girl in my high school was drunk with her friends goofing around and they were playing a car rally game to which she took off her clothes and as I sat from my vehicle watching she looked at me and said while undressing " dont judge me " I will never forget it lol
bigbluethunder ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:07:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when people say, "You can't judge me based on what I do/say!"
Really?! Then how can I possibly make a decision on whether you are deserving of my respect, attention, and time? No, I most certainly will continue to judge you based on your actions and what you say, and if the person you prove to be is someone who is completely different than that, then I will judge you as someone who has no integrity and a very weak sense of self.
Vamking12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By kissing their asscheeks like any good fellow
blondandconfused ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't judge me, judge Judy!
Arab09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was once at a Mcdonalds near my area and a girl in my high school was drunk with her friends goofing around and they were playing a car rally game to which she took off her clothes and as I sat from my vehicle watching she looked at me and said while undressing " dont judge me " I will never forget it lol
badjuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody judges all the time. It's like you have to judge things to develop opinions about things, like people.
"Don't judge me" is like saying "ignore me completely" cause that's the only way to do it; so when I hear somebody say that, I immediately stop paying any attention to them, because that's just what they want, right?
Kfitz5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just makes the situation awkward.
SPICY_BUTT_MILK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had an ex who called me judgemental because I protested her constant blackout drinking and general douchebaggery. She was pretty much the equivalent of a teenager who thinks her parents hate her because they make her live by a set of rules.
theperksofbeingme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just say "I'm judging you so hard right now" or "I'm judging the fuck out of you right now"
slavior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't judge me, act like you know me
-lol_lol- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's insane how well this phrase works, though. I've said it a few times as a joke, and people immediately apologize and back down.
Eilstina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because passing judgement on someone based on a single thing is looked down upon. So if you call someone out they automatically think what am I doing? This is not socially acceptable. And then they stop
myflippinggoodness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
double-judges
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who hate judgment are fucking clearly hypocrites who don't know the most basic human knowledge.
sensicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you know? Only God can judge. And judges. Well, I guess juries too. And basically everyone with an opinion. But that's it. Just those groups.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't judge me, you're hindering my spiritual growth." -Tim Curry (on McHale's Navy)
boot2skull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Make an assessment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually...
"Don't judge me*"
*Unless you're hot.
aredditgroupthinker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They only mean negatively. Oh look at my back all covered with tattoos- don't judge me.
OhTheHueManatee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody ever says "don't judge me" regarding something good. "Ya I help crippled veterans what of it? Don't Fucking judge me."
Noggin-a-Floggin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a difference between judging someone as a person and judging their actions and a lot of people don't get that. I'm actually trying to help you out when I say "What the fuck?" because that's how people improve.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are not supposed? That is the hole deal with it. Stop judging.
LosingMyEdge7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's an annoying thing for someone to say constantly. On the other hand one of the worst qualities a person can have is the feeling that they can and should judge everyone they see and meet based on what little they know of them. People are pretty complicated and first impressions can be deceiving.
jamesthunder88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've said this once, but I was referring to something out of my control.
Along the lines of, "welcome to my parents house, the mess they have made is not a representation of my cleaning abilities."
She was a girl.
inuyome1008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Make an assessment.
bonus_prick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't judge me"
Congrats, I am now judging you for using that phrase.
jakeyjake1990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only God can judge me /s
reverendsteveii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost always followed by "That guy's an asshole." without a hint of irony.
l2np ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, as someone who's typically pretty judgmental, I find it's better NOT to make evaluations of someone's character, because 90% of the time you're wrong and it just gets in the way of knowing who they are. That's why people are against judgment: because it's a shitty thing to do to someone and it's often false.
It's totally possible to say, "That's just a person and I don't know their story" and have no judgment at all. It's a learned skill but it makes me more open and less angry.
musicandpoptarts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
there are contexts in which it makes sense to say, i.e. youre drunk around someone thats sober
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this is the phrase i hate the most.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh I'm judging you.
maxwellbevan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or alternatively "only God can judge me"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't tell me what to do!
RSG_the_large_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worse than this is 'only god can judge me' ...well he is judging you and he's concluded your a whore!!!!
ryanmcstylin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I encourage people to judge me.
slade357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just say too late for that or I'm always judging you
SirJayblesIII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or even worse 'Only God can judge me.'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this okay if you are about to tell them something they need to hear, but it is embarrassing?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I recently reminded someone of Martin Luther King Jr's "I have a dream" speech continues on to say "that one day my children will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." I'd be racist if I didn't judge people by the dumb shit they do.
IoncehadafourLbPoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always think of Jack Black stealing that kid in Tropic Thunder. "DON'T JUDGE MEEEEEE!!!!!"
Hyro0o0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think what these people are saying is "I am judging the hell out of myself right now. Your assistance is not required."
shiftyrisk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't judge me" = "I know I did something fucked up and don't want to own up to it."
captaincupcake234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Make an assessment.
Zumaris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmm I dunno, sometimes my friends use this jokingly when we eat something we're not supposed to when we're cutting... Obviously it's said in shame, but it's funny in that situation.
helloiamsilver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't judge me monkey"
slvrhwk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself.
gex80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only say this as a joke. If I purposely say something stupid, then I say don't judge me.
unicornlocostacos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "Only God can judge me." Nope, I can too.
MidWestJoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my go-to phrase when my fiance is looking at me like I just tried to convince him the world is flat. Maybe if he stopped being so awesome and easy to talk to my inner thoughts wouldn't flow out so easily.
Captain_Meatshield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is more of a way of saying don't base your opinions of me on this one tidbit of my life, sure it indicates that I am not a functional adult, but there are plenty of tidbits that indicate that I am in fact a functional adult, also I've got better shit for you to use to judge me, but that's all 5th date or later material.
Unless the person in question is using "Don't judge me" seriously and as a general catch all. Fuck those people. They're all a bunch of judgmental bastards who can dish it out but can't take it.
Cyhawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't Judge me"
"Too late"
Iamaredditlady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to judge the fuck out of someone when they say that because it usually means they've chosen the stupid path repeatedly.
helpful_hank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means "don't consider me inferior," not "don't categorize me."
whatIshouldvedone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're not.
jimlaheyandrandy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense but..."
ghosttrainhobo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Judging people by the content of their character is wrong bro.
/s
gngl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the best thing to remind that person of when a question of "do you/don't you even like me?" arises later...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like most people use this jokingly.
derpderpdonkeypunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My response, for years, was "Bitch, I work in the service industry, all I do is judge people."
I'm not in the service industry any longer, but I do plan on running for a judgeship at some point, so maybe I'll have a better answer by then.
McPimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends once said that when he drank a cold can of clam chowder.
luckiest_wasp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A guy on okcupid had "don't judge me from my profile" dude it is a page with information about you, pictures of you and a bunch of questions you've answered. What am I supposed to judge you on? Am I supposed to just go on a date with literally everyone on okcupid because I shouldn't judge them on their profiles????
lostcartographer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always say "don't judge me negatively" whenever I do suggest that somebody not judge me negatively.
Se7enLC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also anyone that claims "oh, I don't judge people".
Yes you do. Everyone does. You're supposed to judge people. You judge them on their words and actions, otherwise you are just a shallow shell of a human being that will never have a real connection to anyone.
TehBlackSheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I hear that I respond, "I already have."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a friend I had who's mom was an extreme alcohol & would scream things like this all the time like a crazy woman (which she kinda was). The first time I met her, she was drunk literally grabbing me & throwing me into a seat on her couch. The funny thing though is she had moments from time to time where she was very sweet & caring although she was typically very sharp edged regardless of how sober she was.
tinverse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the people I know only use that jokingly or when you catch them in a really bad moment. Like you open the door and their double teaming Osama from behind while he tries to do his best imitation of JFK.
metaknight95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah seriously. I have to read everybody's character sheet before we even start
mywan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not, I'm judging myself to be incompatible with you.
Puggles88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
analyse it
spenway18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I LOVE to bring this up when people say "I don't judge". Yes, yes you do. A good or fair judgement is still judged.
fordycreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Respond with "I'm judging you"
Obi_Kwiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I point my fingers at them like Darth Sideous, and pretend to judge them with force lighting.
hemmicw9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Make an assessment!!!"
earbly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because judging someone can really fuck people up, especially when mixed with shame and being outcast. What they mean is don't sum up their entire character in your "evalutation" based on one thing they do. Like making your entire judgement of them as a human based on the fact that they take a drug. That's what they mean.
mumma_bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I need that line nearly a dozen times a day...
BLT Sub with triple meat? "Don't judge me"
Kid gobs pasta sauce all over his face while I'm blowing my nose with the last piece of paper towel in the house, you know im gonna wipe his face with my snot rag, "Don't judge me"
Crop dusting by the ladies change rooms... I don't think anyone knows its me, so they can't judge.
Avogadro101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I typically say, "Don't judge me!" on two occasions:
1) When I am doing something completely out of character and I don't want it to be taken account of because I'm ashamed.
2) When I'm doing something that I think is completely normal and socially acceptable yet I am getting weird looks and negatively judging eyes.
Over use of this phrase in any case should be reevaluated.
jessemfkeeler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always reply with "It's waaay too late for that"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bit late for that, isn't it?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ. Seriously. I'm allowed to have a fucking opinion on someone even if you disagree with me. To say someone is nice is also judgemental by the way...
Delirivms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, the old "Don't judge me, you don't know my story.", when she's clearly being a crazy bitch, no matter what happened in the past.
amero421 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think part of the reason I don't like this is because I'm not a judgey person. So that person has prejudged me by thinking that I actually give a shit.
BobMacActual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I think you've got a good starting point right there.
Tip718 ยท 2363 points ยท Posted at 15:47:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Whenever someone cops up to being a "Bitch", likes it's something they are proud of. Like "Yeah, I am a bitch so what!?!?"
Edit- I accidently wrote "copes up" instead of "cops up to". Some people here were horribly offended by that. My feelings regarding these individuals are generally negative.
HurtfulThings ยท 1343 points ยท Posted at 17:03:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha. A buddy once dated this chick who was a total bitch. She got into it with another girl someplace (don't remember where exactly). She insulted this other girls hair and clothing, the other girl said something along the lines of "don't be petty, you're better than that". So she goes off "Bitch I was born petty! My whole fuckin family is petty!" etc. Then she proceeds to brag to everyone she talked to that night about her "awesome" comeback and how she "really told that girl".
...Yeah, you really showed her who the petty bitch was... way to be proud of that...
freshlybakedteehee ยท 213 points ยท Posted at 17:19:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood why anyone would be proud of that.
porn_philosopher ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:56:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Defense mechanism
SlimLovin ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 18:19:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They aren't proud. They're just awful and insecure about being awful.
yuhutuh ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:45:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you get hurt by a name for so long you wear it with pride so it doesn't sting anymore.
freshlybakedteehee ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:57:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never thought of it like that before. You make a good point. Plus it's easier than trying to change.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:53:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had forgotten that I once rolled with this technique, then I found myself judging so quickly despite the fact that I may have looked like that to other people at some point.
kwahthgiN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why everyone calls me Thad
runetrantor ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:25:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do I think she thought she was speaking about 'pretty' rather than 'petty'...?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Highly probable.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:57:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tom Petty's achieved a lot.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:56:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They have nothing else to offer
ASK_IF_IM_HUNGRY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I would say it comes from the mentality "At least I know what I am (so your insult is lost on me since I already know)"
When I tell people I'm a shitty person, I'm not fishing for compliments. I'm giving a heads up. Things will be fine and dandy for a while but that shit just shines through and I don't want you to be caught off guard by it.
Edit: phrasing
freshlybakedteehee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:22:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, for claiming to be a shitty person, that is downright thoughtful.
ASK_IF_IM_HUNGRY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:26:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just you wait.
Though I do believe it's probably helped me keep friendships because they can call me out when I'm acting especially shitty. They know I'll likely take it as a statement and not an attack. Then I'd have that "Oh crap, you're right" moment and apologize as needed.
tomahawkfury13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think of it as someone taking Tyrion Lannisters advice to John Snow to mean that about their character flaws and not things you cannot change. Quote: "never forget what you are, wear it like armour, and it could never be used to hurt you."
Tip718 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:17:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, that is very much what I am talking about.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:43:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't wrap my mind around that, the only explanation is that she didn't know what petty means?
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I'm thinking.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:45:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:41:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Also, "Good" is technically correct. "Good" is an adjective, which describes a noun or pronoun, "you" is a pronoun. So "How are you?" is answered correctly with "good," because you are describing yourself.
The sentence "I'm good," is technically correct.
The sentence "I'm doing good," is technically incorrect.
The word "well" is an adverb, which describes a verb, so if someone asks "how are you doing?" it is answered correctly with "well" because "doing" is a verb, and you need to describe it with an adverb.
So "I'm doing well," is technically correct.
Saying "I'm well," is technically incorrect.
Why is this so hard for people to get through their heads? I've had this conversation with several people on several different occasions when they think they're being smart by telling me that I shouldn't answer "how are you?" with "good."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:16:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
5 minutes in this thread, and I'm about to have a stroke.
Bladelink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, she was probably too stupid to know what 'petty' means =(
Thac0isWhac0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe her mom was a groupie of The Heartbreakers...
wlee1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This line had me hooked and was not the ending I hoped for :(
Taco_Burrit0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That level of stupid is mind boggling
JayofLegend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't there a .gif of someone saying "I don't know what that means, but I'm going to take it as an insult"?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You realize you're proud of proving her right, right?"
McPimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what the thread asked for.
bickbastardly ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:52:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did she think she meant pretty? that's as sad but also funny.
WaLizard ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 20:41:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a guy and will openly admit that I'm a dick. At the same time though, if I'm being a dick to you then either you fucked up or I'm not even thinking about what I say and do until 5 seconds-1 minute after it happens.
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 18:43:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually had the opposite experience with this. A woman I greatly respect is in a leadership position in IT, and when she asks people hard questions--the same thing a man in her position would be expected to do--she tends to get labeled as a bitch behind her back.
As such, she's embraced it and taken to calling herself a bitch, since she's going to be called it regardless.
larouqine ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 00:30:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the issue. For many people, especially women, "being a bitch" just means practising assertiveness.
I would still be making poverty wages in my managerial job if I hadn't decided that I was going to be a cold, cutthroat bitch and ask for a reasonable pay rate.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:27:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep! I am rather assertive and "aggressive for a woman," but I am generally quite friendly. Still get labelled a bitch because I dare to have opinions. Thus the embracing it. However, the commenter above was using it in a very different way.
If being unlikeable is what I get for having a career, I'd rather wear the "bitch" tag than slink back.
tryagain420 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:52:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I was labeled "the bitch" at my old job and if that was the label, I'm ok with that. I know this because when we were being treated unfairly my group of female coworkers would often ask me to being it up to our male boss because "you're ok with being a bitch". Even in social situations I've heard this, once a guy came to a house party and was being a dick to everyone and I was the one asked to make him leave because "you can be a bitch and get the point across". If standing up for myself, my friends and my rights means I have to be a bitch I'll gladly take the role. "Because you're a bitch..." is usually the beginning of a sentence about me getting something I/my group deserves.
locakitty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:16:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This so much. Called a bitch by my staff (when I was in management) if I made them do something they didn't want to do. Never to my face, of course.
Nothing to do but embrace it. Since saying, "No, I'm being the boss," didn't seem to work
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:54:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
tryagain420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't say they didn't warn you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:11 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
tryagain420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:14 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bitches and assholes usually have the best sense of humor, like that joke they pulled on you (the one where they made you think they were nice people while telling you all along in a nice voice that they were assholes).
TiredOldCrow ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:26:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people need to understand the difference between "badass" and "asshole".
Suradner ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:24:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are plenty of people who call themselves "bitch" and don't understand that distinction.
There are, however, also a massive number of people who call other people "bitch" without understanding that distinction.
Because of that, my first instinct isn't to judge when someone is trying to be at peace with a word that's often used to lessen them.
TiredOldCrow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally agree with you there. Almost every woman I've seen refer to herself as a "bitch" was kind, well-adjusted, and highly motivated.
I've only ever seen a couple instances of somebody being a jerk and acting like that was part of their "shtick".
bluerose1197 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:07:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother-in-law is proud of being a bitch, or as she would say it "the bitch". She's actually pretty cool and I get along with her great. Where this comes in though is she taught middle school for 30+ years. So that was always her retort when a student would call her a bitch.
_naartjie ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:04:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bitch is often synonymous with 'woman who is assertive and doesn't just do what I tell her to'. In that context, there's nothing wrong with being a bitch.
Goonz ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bitch is also associated with being a weak-willed coward that can't face confrontation.
stirwise ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:21:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you call a woman a bitch you're calling her a dog. If you call a man a bitch you're calling him a woman. The weak-willed coward definition is never used against women, only men.
iamaneviltaco ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:12:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a total bitch, because if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best. I ssooooooooo don't do drama, though. I hate it."
This is a clear indication that the person who said it will slash and burn your entire life to the ground, then piss on the ashes, and blame you for it.
Maria-Stryker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:19:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually a fun thing to say when someone's go-to response to coming across someone who they don't like or is doing something they don't like is to insult them and call them that.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:46:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're muff cabbage!
Wtfmarli ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:59:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's being a total cunt and then there's "bitch to get shit done".
For my job I have to be the bitch who gets shit done. I don't care if vendors hate me, my projects go out when their deadline is up and that's all I care about.
erilol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:51:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It would be nice if we didn't have to use those words to describe us.
Personally, I see the term as an offensive slur, and I react to it with the same taboo as I would any other slur.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:29:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
never understood why "pussy" was meant to mean "weak." Like, have you seen one? They bleed 1/6th of their lifetime, stretch open and push out a fucking human, take a pounding on a regular basis... Pretty badass if you ask me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:13 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. TIL. That's actually pretty interesting. And a great word.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only say this when it comes to drinking or to get out of going somewhere or staying out later. If I call myself a bitch, nobody else can.
reverendsteveii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know people who do this all the time. My favorite formation of it is "I know I'm being a (bitch, asshole, pain in the ass, etc...), but...". Thank God you've made it clear that you're evil, not ignorant, and that this shitty thing you're about to do really is the product of an informed mind and therefore that much less forgivable.
VTCifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get where you're coming with this, but I'd rather have that then the "I'm not high maintenance!" BS.
Peppermint42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had an abusive ex who would use any protests from me as an excuse to call me a bitch and deride me. So (after the breakup) when I had to take the keys to the truck we bought "together" for him to drive but he conveniently couldn't pay for anymore, he said "bitch" and I said "Yeah, you called me bitch so much I actually learned how to be one," and I drove that truck away feeling quite proud of myself.
ninetynyne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's even better when they say that they're "Type-A/Alpha" and that excuses them from this kind of behavior.
twenafeesh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God yes. I have a co-worker who says she's "sassy," which is really just another way for her to say, "I'm going to be a bitch to you and pretend that it's ok, because I'm sassy."
Linearts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So is that worse than or less bad than being a bitch but refusing to accept/admit it?
"Hey stop being a bitch"
"What are you gonna do about it?" continues acting bitchy
vs
"Hey stop being such a bitch"
"I am not a bitch!" continues being bitchy
FluffySharkBird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sort of thing was what made me hate FPH the most. Not the bullying and all that. But being proud of and calling each other "Shitlords," an insult I've never actually heard someone say
brijjen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "I'm just being honest!" when they're being judgmental assholes. Honest or not, there's tact, if you're even in a position where it's appropriate to give your opinion.
HuellHowser666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Also hate when guys say "I'm such a dick".
kingeryck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea there's a difference between being a strong independent woman, and a bitch.
nitrous2401 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bitch bad; woman good - lady better...
Duderds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Idk why but I read your comment in Itchego Kurusaki's voice from Bleach and now I'm with you 100 percent substitute soul reaper!
marilyn_morose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not overly fond of the random accoutrements (key chains, license plate frames, tee shirts,mets.) that proclaim their owners to be bitches. Why would anyone promote themselves as that?
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That's why I can't stand that song "I'm a bitch" (or whatever it's called). It's a whole song by a woman bragging about how bitchy and unpredictable she is. So you say that "tomorrow you will change, and today won't mean a thing"? Wow, that's something I really value in a person. You are so right to be proud of it. Gag. It especially bugs me when I see a group of women at a bar all singing it loud and proud.
witchyandbitchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call myself a bitch but not because I think I'm a bad person. I'm assertive, I do my job incredibly well and take it seriously, and don't beat around the bush. And because of that, I'm a bitch. So I just own it at this point. I'm incredibly kind hearted I think, will always go out on a limb for friends or coworkers but that apparently doesn't matter. Get a little bossy with a vagina, your a bitch. May as well own it.
PixelLight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the owning up but not taking responsibility. They don't even have to be brazen. I know a couple of women who've called themselves bitches. Usually I'd spot this but I was dubious and went on. They didn't explain why they're bitches, apologise, try to change as far as I can tell. It's only when I saw them behave certain ways that I understood and bailed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone says it in a prideful way. Some people just say it as a warning :/
EViL-D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now imma slap you like a bitch guilt-free
SoGodDangTired ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:51 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I admit I'm a bitch, not because I'm proud of it per say but because I'm sarcastic and have trust issues/issues with vulnerability so I tend to be frigid and I just want people to know what they're getting in to.
I feel so bad when I read these threads and I'm like shit I do that :(
serpentprincess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, this is my mother in law. "You know me, I don't have a filter! I'm a bitch and I speak my mind!" AKA- I think its totally fine to stick my nose where it doesn't belong and dominate all over everyone because I have a superiority complex.
bawnmawt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.google.ca/search?q=definition+%22cope
http://www.google.ca/search?q=definition+%22cop+to%22
Tip718 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn it. I made a grammatical error. I will return my MS and BS.
bawnmawt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
how dramatic! a simple "thanks" would suffice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You made two. And you're still making one. You merged "cops to" with "owns up to" to make "cops up to."
Ghostronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing we have people like you here to give a shit.
thelonelydinosaur ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:19:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I refer to myself as a bitch because I am confident, assertive, and determined. Leadership qualities in men, frowned upon in women frequently. Therefore, if I do something exhibiting these traits and someone calls me a bitch, I own that shit. Yeah, I am a bitch and I'm going to be your boss in two years so step down.
Apellosine ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:26:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's just "cops to" isn't it? Not "cops up to"
ThunderCuuuunt ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck is "copes up"?
[deleted] ยท 1553 points ยท Posted at 18:20:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I couldn't join the military. If a Drill Sergeant got in my face I'd yell back/drop him" lol sure you would dude. Edit: yell
RedDeadRevengeance ยท 458 points ยท Posted at 01:31:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd just cry.
I am not a good fit for the military.
digitaldeadstar ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 04:30:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a dude and I'd probably cry, too. I'm not an angry or violent type person, so when I get exceptionally pissed, I end up wanting to cry the anger out, I guess?
stareyedgirl ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 06:46:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That happens to me, too. I always say that when the emotions get to be too much, it doesn't matter what they are, they leak out my eyeballs.
And then I feel better.
Crying isn't weakness, it's what I'm doing instead of hitting you with a shovel.
dmanww ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:57:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like it. Might use that later
hoopdizzle ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 06:24:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, I am a bitch, so what??!?!"
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:46:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:)
acardenas913 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(:
TheRealBarrelRider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:03:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So meta
SoGodDangTired ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:52 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crying is a stress reaction, so I cry when I'm pissed too. I actually have three stages Wanting to punch someone, Crying, and then just being really tired. They go in random order but it tends to be that.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:19:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Satans__Secretary ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:21:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd just end up having a mental/anxiety breakdown.
Dunno why, just happens if people are yelling at each other angrily.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:46:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They have chaplains for that very reason. During basic, if you feel like you're overwhelmed and you can't handle something, you just let somebody know and they have people trained to deal with that sort of stress help you out. It's very unlikely that chaplain would be new and it's very likely they've seen the type of stress that you're having. Often people join the military because they literally have nowhere else to go. You see people without family living on the street joining just so they have a bed to sleep in. Not saying the military is for everybody, but being scared of yelling isn't a reason not to join.
It's less angry and more frustrated.
Satans__Secretary ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:24:55 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
interesting.
Pretty much what happened with my husband.
Parents were assholes to him and said "gtfo" despite him having a job.
I think it turned out for the better, though; I finally live with him and he has a nice future.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:01 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was the same way. She had no dad and grandma's an abusive alcoholic, so she left as soon as she possibly could. Military was the fastest route to get the farthest away.
BloodAngel85 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:31:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am a female and cried a couple times in basic. The first night and 3 or 4 phone calls home.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:44:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't like me and I don't like you!"
"I like you."
"Uh, well I don't like you!"
"Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:07:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm athletically unfit. I'm like Steve Rodgers before radiation and serums.
competenttyper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did your cat walk through the spagetti?
BipedSnowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit so would I. Yelling makes me nervous at the best of times, someone getting that angry / scary at me like that would be horrible.
yaminub ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:40:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just loose a hand to a loose seal and they won't take you, probably.
wulfguitar ยท 389 points ยท Posted at 20:23:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a vet, if you actually had the balls to swing on a DS/DI/RDC/TI etc, they would break every bone in your face. To them, it's like finding a $50 bill on the ground. They've been wanting to just beat the shit out of you since day zero, and given the opportunity, they'll milk it.
And I promise you, they're beefier than any recruit that steps through their doors, as they have to be.
nhilante ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 22:18:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if they know they don't handle such an environment well wouldn't that make "I couldn't join the military" a valid phrase? I yelled back and did 2 weeks in military prison. I shouldn't have but sometimes stress is too much.
InelegantQuip ยท 155 points ยท Posted at 22:49:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's less about about not being able to handle the environment and more about the "I'd kick that guy's ass" part.
My personal variation would be something to the effect of "I couldn't join the military. If a Drill Sergeant got in my face I'd say something smart ass and get the shit kicked out of me."
valvilis ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 03:22:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smart ass prior airman here, can confirm. My training flight did many hours of PT on account of me not being able to not laugh - but our TIs were hilarious, and I understood the break-down/build-up premise, so I lacked some of the necessary fear. TI could pick out my chuckle from the far end of drill practice, over 60 recruits marching. We got burned for about an hour once on account of me.
We had this big, goofy guy - total doofus. TI sees him screwing up our formation... again. TI: "Hey, if you can't stop fucking up my formation, fantasizing about being a big, half-retarded penguin, waddling like you're on the way to the cake and ice cream store..." something to that effect. I snickered, he somehow knew and called me up.
TI: "Valvilis, do you think I'm funny?!" Easy question, right?
Me: "Sir, I believe you're funny when and only when you mean to be." TI freezes as his brain grinds to a halt. Then he smirks. It vanished instantly, and I was the only one who saw it, but I broke his composure and I knew I was screwed. Oh well, good times.
ShroudofTuring ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 04:55:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TI: Trainee, do you fantasize about being a big, half-retarded penguin?
Trainee: SIR, NO, SIR!
TI: BULLSHIT, I BET YOU COULD FOOL MR. POPPER, SKULLFUCK THE REMAINS OF JIM CARREY'S CAREER, AND STILL GET BACK IN TIME TO FUCK UP MY FORMATION.
Thank you for that story. I really needed a laugh.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:33:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, MTI's... one of the dipshits in my flight was fucking whistling on our way out to the drill pad in our second week. They didn't know who did it so we did PT while WHISTLING until he finally gave himself up. And then we did more PT.
I swear all the MTI's that passed had the biggest grins on their faces.
Night-Mayor ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:07:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I was always the dumb ass that just shouted "SIR YES SIR", to God on high. Hoping they would just realize I was an imbecile, and not worthy of their more uh, creative punishments and insults....
BloodAngel85 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:25:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My TI had a sense of humor too, same with my brother flight's MTI. When we were getting our warrior flight ribbon, 2 trainee's walked by and my TI decided to fuck with them. I don't remember all of what he said but he told one guy "stop looking at me with those Googly eyes! Now I'm gonna have nightmares about midgets, clowns and your Googly eyes" My flight and my brother flight all started coughing to hide our laughter.
LYossarian13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:59:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations, you're now tagged as "Chuckles: The smart ass prior airman".
valvilis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure I've been tagged as worse. =|
mrbaryonyx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:03:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I laughed just reading that
Helios-Apollo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:11:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That should be considered entrapment. That comment was hilarious.
nhilante ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 23:13:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh yea, there would be no ass kicking. My short service was mandatory though, so there were lots of moments like that. It's a strange environment to be in when you're forced to be there. What you figure out, if you let your ego down (which is the best thing you learn imo) is that they have to act the same way towards everyone and you can't make them look bad.
Imagine this, a higher up is giving an engineer an order that doesn't make sense, the engineer through time learns to just say "yes, sir" and still do it his way but if he chooses to talk back, even naively wanting to provide a better solution, he will be punished for it.
But yea i totally get the "big talks". It doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, you don't talk back if you want a smooth ride. Your officer is not evil, your officer does not hate you, it's just the way things are, and that is a good lesson i find.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there no such thing as assault in the military?
Sha-WING ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 23:35:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well sure there is, but if a recruit swings first, all bets are off. We had a guy in MCT swing the butt of his rifle right into the side of another guy's head. The instructors were gifted the chance to tackle the shit out of that asshole because he was a threat.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:35:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I'm glad we are not forced in military where I live. This kind of shit boils my blood.
YouShouldKnowThis1 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:31:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if you're confused, because your statement was sort of ambiguous... but the US (who he's talking about) doesn't have a forced military. All of those people chose to be there.
derefr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I've always wondered: in a military with a draft, can you fight your way out? Like, I don't care if I have to get tackled by five guys and have my leg shot off by the guy standing next to me and maybe flogged for good measure, if it means I can go home a week later.
xXx420gokusniperxXx ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:45:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of doing drills for a few years you'd spend them in a cell, which you will probably enjoy far less
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basicly USSR/Nazi Germany in 2015.
POGtastic ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:02:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right - there wasn't a single case of a DI striking a recruit when I went through boot camp. It's not really tolerated anymore, and it can ruin a DI's career. In fact, I served with a sergeant who got NJP'd and kicked off the drill field for doing it.
They didn't need to hit people; they had much, much nastier ways of breaking recruits.
4Sken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:53:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
plz tell moar
POGtastic ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:09:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The big thing to remember is that you are under supervision at all times except when you're sleeping. Everything you do is controlled, from the moment you wake up to the moment that you go to sleep. They tell you when to piss, they tell you when to eat, they tell you when to lie down and get up and march and stop. And all of this is enforced with Incentive Training. Incentive Training is worth another post in and of itself, but we'll just suffice to say that it involves physical exercise, and it is unpleasant.
Anyway - if they decide that they don't like you because you have an attitude or whatever, they just fuck with you all day, every day. For example - you are required to reply to every order you get with "Aye aye, sir." This applies at mealtimes - if you get told to do something while you're eating, you are supposed to spit out the food and respond.
So, they just station a DI right next to you who will yell at you for everything the moment that you put food in your mouth. So now you don't get to eat.
When you're marching, the kill hats (junior DIs who are charged with enforcing discipline) typically run around the platoon yelling at everyone. If you piss them off, you'll have one of them focusing exclusively on you. And no, you can't win. There is always something wrong. So, whenever they stop for a break, they send off the idiots to the sand pit for incentive training... and you're always among them. And when someone else fucks up, they'll make you his Best Buddy, so you have to go to incentive training with him.
Then they'll turn everyone against you by punishing the rest of the platoon like in Full Metal Jacket. The difference is that this was a last resort in FMJ - it's omnipresent in real life. Any time that the DIs want to punish the platoon, they blame you. And they'll make everyone yell "Thank you, Recruit <name>" over and over again. They'll make it personal, too - they'll punish your bunkmate, your squad leader, and your friends every time you fuck up. So now your friends hate you, and so does the platoon.
Normally, at bedtime, you get 45 minutes of free time to relax, write letters home, and so on. The problem is that you have to pass a hygiene inspection first. They'll fail you over and over and over again so you don't get your free time.
And then they'll fuck with your sleep by giving you guard duty every night on the second hour and the second-to-last hour, so your 8 hours of sleep becomes four hours of sleep. Sometimes they'll wake you up at midnight, too, just for shits and giggles.
Wash, rinse, repeat for months.
gtlgdp ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:28:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like I would absolutely never want to join the Marines
POGtastic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:30:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't be That Guy (there's one in every platoon), and you're good. Boot camp sucks, but it's not that bad as long as you stay under the radar. If you're a punk or a Private Pyle, your life will be hell.
The DIs didn't know my name until a month in, which was fantastic.
adaminc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As they said in the CF, be the grey man.
smoofles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That Guy Who Joined The Marines, you mean?
From the stories people write, army jail doesnโt sound that bad. Not sure Iโd want to put up with imbeciles trying to "incentive train" the humanity out of meโฆ
Edit: Not that thereโs anything wrong with Marines. I just think itโs also good to realize one isnโt a good fit. :)
POGtastic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:05:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Depends. Preconfinement and short-term time is basically amped-up restriction. You sit in a cell and stare at the wall, and occasionally you get taken to the PX in shackles to get your hair buzzed. Your food consists of takeout trays from the chow hall, which is mediocre but probably better than a civilian jail.
Short sentences are basically like boot camp with less yelling; you live in a squad bay, do menial labor, and PT a lot.
Long sentences are prison with more guards, fewer rights, no parole, and less of the "inmates running the show" that happens in understaffed civilian prisons.
If I had to do time, it would be in a military prison, but I'd rather just shut up and color and get out with an honorable discharge.
Source: Lived with brig guards, who were even worse degenerates than the MPs. Marines tend to be dysfunctional people to begin with, but MPs are terrible human beings. Not surprising that they all want to become police officers when they get out.
Also, DIs tend to be above-average NCOs. The dregs who have to do a B-billet tend to go into recruiting.
Anyway, what I described is the heavy end of the stick. There are people who think, "Hey, what's the worst that they could do to me," and the DIs make them realize very quickly that things can become very, very bad. Moral of the story is to drop the attitude and don't be a shitbag.
smoofles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, cool, I learned something new today. :)
Yeah, Iโm sure DIs wonโt just put you into a cell if they can make an example out of you, and even if you manage a phyrric victory against one, thereโs no end of officers whoโve got nothing better to do than take over you case.
But yeah, better to not sign up in the first place, then.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Marine?
POGtastic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sand fleas or hills?
POGtastic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fleas.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too.
derefr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My question reading that is... nobody ever breaks and decides to shoot up a boot camp? (Or, you know, improvise some explosive devices, etc.) I mean, the public schools with school shootings aren't one tenth that bad, and the guns aren't nearly as handy. (Obviously, that also implies that it's very easy to take the crazy guy down but fast, but it'd still have happened.)
POGtastic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:09:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People break all the time, but it's usually relatively non-destructive. You only get bullets during the rifle range, and they are very, very strictly accounted for... for that reason. There are people on guard duty during the night to watch for people trying to run away / attempt suicide. And, of course, your daytime is so strictly controlled that you have no time to yourself.
Many recruits in this situation quit, in which case they add insult to injury and make you call your parents and tell them how much of a piece of shit you are. Since I joined during the Surge, they did the further nastiness of keeping quitters around for several months as an example to other people considering doing the same. "Fastest way off this island is to graduate."
Others make it through and go off to the rest of training. Hilariously, how well you do in boot camp has relatively little bearing on how well you do as a Marine. My guide is currently in the brig for rape, and one of our platoon shitbags got meritorious corporal and sergeant once he got out to his unit. Some people are just derpy in boot camp.
In our platoon, our most egregious shitbag (there were others) broke around Week 3. We had our ILBEs (internal frame packs) strapped to the bunk (rack, in Marine parlance, except I fucking hated the Navy terminology) - you detached the straps with the quick-release, ran the straps through the bunk, and then reconnected the straps. We had to go get our packs and present them for inspection. Anyway, this kid couldn't get his pack off the bunk, so he got sharked by four DIs. Sharking is actually hilarious to watch, as it involves the following:
Anyway, he broke before the senior could get to him, crawled into the fetal position, started crying, and lost bowel control while the heavy hat went "WOOOOOO OH YEAH BABY" like he'd scored a touchdown. He wasn't the same after that; he sat in front of the squad bay sucking his thumb while they figured out the paperwork to get his ass out of there. That was the only time that I was legitimately scared during my time there - seeing a 27-year-old man regress to being a little kid. He got sent home as quickly as possible, and he ended up hanging himself a few weeks later. That dude's recruiter has a place reserved for him in hell; it was flagrantly obvious that he didn't belong there.
Edit: Sharking in progress, please stand by. Quiz for those following along at home - what did Recruit Shmuckatelli do wrong?
turbulence96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's incredibly sad :/
wulfguitar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy. Shit.
4Sken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow... So up until the last part the sharking bit was hilarious, but that kid... wow.
4Sken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hope you don't mind I laughed my ass off the whole way through that xD
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Log PT. Ole Misery.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your name is fucking amazing
POGtastic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:13:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Best one I've seen so far is Notorious P.O.G.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:14:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I pictured a paper pusher that sits inside all day and bitches about how hard his job is lol
POGtastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was a radio tech who supported air traffic control on a training base.
As a guy on Terminal Lance put it so succinctly, "You are not the tip of the spear. You are not the butt of the spear. You are not even the box that the spear came in. You are the Fedex driver who delivered the box with the spear in it."
Hence the screen name.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds pretty cool. I'm nothing รผber spectacular. Wheeled vehicle mechanic and recovery. You Call We Haul!
wulfguitar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
USN EM3 here. I'm pretty sure that 80% of jobs in the navy fall under the POG umbrella, and the other 20% have god-awful advancement rates.
Take Yeoman for example, easiest job in the military (unjamming a paper shredder is the most difficult part of the job), and advancement has historically been super-open and easy. Then take any of the Seabee rates and look at the abysmal 4-13% advancement rates.
Then there's the SEALs, who make Chief by the time they're 22, but they get tons of spot-promotions, early promotions, and essentially ace the exam by simply putting their name on the test.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait so in basic training, you dun fucked up, so they put you in prison delaying your training for two weeks? Or did you have other things while in prison?
nhilante ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did the time at the very end instead of being released.
jacktheBOSS ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:03:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you meant veterinarian and was confused at how that made you an expert.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:44:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I'm well aware. I've seen it lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Off topic, what is a hot gary and is it similar to a Hot Carl?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
looked up both and no.. no it is not
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Til.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was actually my inspiration for my username... TIL my username is slang for homo creampie https://youtu.be/EUxFFRR__ZY
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wut
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Manhattan Transfer...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dang I had no idea that had a name... Hot Garys are ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:35:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine that being a Drill Sergeant is every raging asshole's dream job them.
POGtastic ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 02:08:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a fantastic excerpt from Starship Troopers that goes into this.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome book!
derefr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:45:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kaizo-mario level designers!
jeffariah85 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:07:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You get all types of people as drill sergeants. It's a job that they're assigned to do (while also being a whole lot more than that). The majority of them aren't actually assholes, they are supposed to be the adversary that the platoon can "unite against". This promotes teamwork and togetherness - core tenants of the military. Maybe the job is a bully's wet dream, but I don't think someone who is unnecessary cruel would last long in that position. Other drill sergeants world make sure he would get the boot, because one of the most important characteristics of a drill sergeant is professionalism. They should be GI-fucking-Joe to new recruits - an example of everything an NCO should be.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you like sleep or not being under a microscope. They also have a ridiculously high divorce rate.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, but DIs are not dicks. At least, I've never met one that wasn't a cool guy outside of his job. Being angry all the time is pretty tiring, you know?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely not. Their job is two fold; to get rid of the trash and to build up the rest. If you are so stupid (or can't control your emotions, or immature, or any other adjective you wanna use that signifies someone who can't hang) to attack a sergeant like that they will take the trash out efficiently and in a way that makes them look like a great leader to the rest. They actually care about the recruits a ton.
At least, the good ones do. Yes, there are some that are just assholes. But that's any job.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They used to be that way, not any more.
SammichNetwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok doc, hurry up and save my dog
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think a guy would, even if he was bigger. I've seen some pretty cut men cry after being yelled at by a DI/MTI.
TakoyakiBoxGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back in high school, I was on Science Olympiad/Ocean Science Bowl/Science Bowl, and loved marine science. I thought I might join the Navy; took the ASVAB, and maxed it out before the recruiter even came back in to check on me.
We had a short talk, and he basically said it would be insane of me to even think of enlisting. Go to Annapolis, to ROTC, or stay away, because otherwise I'd be the smartass with a broken face and a shitton of regrets. Ended up staying away from the military completely.
xXx420gokusniperxXx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno man, there's some pretty good perks. You get pretty much all your expenses covered by uncle sam, you get some life experience, gi bill for college, looks great on a resume.
katherinesilens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And if said recruit is somehow beefier than them, SHARK ATTACK
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In OCS, every single one of my Sergeant Instructors was a MCMAP black belt, too. So in addition to being fairly big guys, I knew for a fact they could put me on the ground in a second if they wanted.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree they're beefier than any recruit, but 99/100. The other 1 that might be, is probably plenty disciplined enough not to fuck around...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the time. My dad was a DI and he's pretty tiny. Still scared the shit out of recruits though, they called him an "evil little man"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, sign me up! When does we gets to make freedoms?
DerpGrub ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:36:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my uncle joined the marines around Vietnam. he said he even had to ask the Drill Sergeant if he could go to the bathroom. i guess one time he didn't and the guy kicked in the stall door and grabbed him by the neck mid shit and dragged him out of the bathroom in-front of everyone and had them choose what his punishment was. i guess it was PT or beating at that time. and he took the PT then got his ass beat later by the sergeant. not sure if it's true because he has quoted FMJ a few times(jokingly) so i know he's seen movies about it...
A_California_Guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:02:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The military during the years after Korea was.....different. There are many, many horror stories about some of the fucked up shit that happened, but one amongst a number of things Drill Sergeant's could do(that they could no longer do today) was upright kick the crap out of you(and in many cases, your superiors striking you in Basic training is not only uncommon but almost expected).
To be fair, in the days of Vietnam, striking a recruit was seen as poor form, and that remained the norm up until that aspect of acceptable punishment became verboten in the '90s
chiminage ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:24:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if you have been doing bjj your whole life and choke them out?
th3d3k0y ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:33:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't join the military, I was overweight and diabetic... 4realz
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats on beating diabetes
Ir0nSkies ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:34:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this stems from some strange obligation dudes have to justify why they didn't join the military but come away with their manliness intact when they encounter someone who is in the service.
You didn't join the Army. It's cool bro. I'm not judging you because you chose a different path in life. I'm judging you because you made an incredibly douchey comment.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:53:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly it! It's equally bad or worse when they try to top you with a relatives military accomplishments or the infamous line "Oh you're in the Army? You know my buddy Steve then right!?"
Ir0nSkies ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:01:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Especially when they try to make that branch sound superior. "You're in the Army, huh? That's cool. My brother is a Marine, so..."
Good for your brother. You're still a douchebag.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:13:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh you're mechanic? Too much of a pussy to be infantry?" "Well what did you do Billy badass?" "Oh me? I never joined. But my buddy Steve was an airborne infantry delta seal scout special forces sniper ranger"
The_Brain_Fuckler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:58:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's not forget how fun it is when a civilian dudebro tries to shame you for not killing anyone. It's even more fun when they tell you how much better they'd be at your job than you.
Ir0nSkies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Joke's on him. Steve probably thinks Billy is a gaping cum dumpster.
It amazes me when people ask what I do and are confused when I say Field Artillery. I inevitably have to say "you know, big guns". And they're like "Ohhh, yeah....".
You have no fucking idea what I'm talking about, do you?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:38:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then you start talking about wolf pussy and they get uncomfortable and walk away
Ir0nSkies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha yeah. At best I am now that weird Army guy who is into bestiality.
tyrghast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I deal with that from a few people going nowhere in their lives back home. I was playing a game with one of them online and he started cracking jokes on the navy. I guess it's cool to be selling used cars in a shit town instead of working on super hornets and racking up A&P license skills or my GI Bill.
eyesick ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 01:03:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a lot of friends that were in the military, and talked with them all about basic training, the one thing I would be afraid of is laughing when they got in my face. All that yelling and spitting while they say some of the most ridiculous shit they could think of, yeah, I would probably giggle and end up cleaning toliets with my own toothbrush for the entire time I was there.
EuphJoenium ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 01:36:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ever since I have seen this video, I start to laugh every time I see a drill sergeant yelling at a soldier. I just can't get it out of my head!
Meximo13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where is this from?
EuphJoenium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The video is a dubbed over scene from the movie, Full Metal Jacket.
Ir0nSkies ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:29:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of it is pretty hilarious if you can take a step back and view what is happening with the perspective of an outsider.
When I was in basic my drill sergeant got so mad at us for talking during the land navigation course that he made us low crawl along the ground picking up rocks, bring it up to him (still in a low crawl), give it a name, and then put it back where we found it.
It's funny now but it was pretty tiring and degrading at the time.
mgattozzi ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:02:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my buddies from AIT told me about how one of his platoon mates had to carry around a plant for a few weeks because he had to replace the oxygen he wasted for being alive. Degrading and hilarious.
Ir0nSkies ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:19:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That. Is. Awesome. Drill Sergeants have to be the most creative assholes on the planet
mgattozzi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a gold mine of good stories. Worth the fuck ton of push ups and other shit just to have a few
bowmanc ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:13:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yo so he made you get attached to them by naming them then set it free? It's like Pidgeotto a hundred times over :((
Ir0nSkies ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:19:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Letting Kate Upton go was especially difficult for me.
I'll never forgive that bastard.
Night-Mayor ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:39:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when I accidentally knocked over my drill sergeants mt dew. He made me choose a battle buddy to be punished with (I just picked the chick that already hated my guts) and spent the next 5 hrs low crawling in the hot ass tar pit (ground up tire bits that got slightly melty in the summer Carolina heat) picking out all the pebbles that crossed over from the gravel pit right next to it. My battle had to organize them into "platoons" on the black top, based on size. Every time I crawled over a spot, more pebbles would be uncovered, and every time he came to check our progress, he would kick more in. It was maddening, but after he decided I'd been sufficiently punished, he had me pick one from the black top, name it, and keep it as a sort of reminder.
Ir0nSkies ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:44:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relaxin' Jackson? I went there. Wasn't relaxed at all. Do you still have your pebble?
Night-Mayor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HA I actually do (though I'd have to dig for it by now). It turned into my stress rock. Every time something sucked I would hold it, coz it helped me remember no matter how much I hated doing something, there were ALWAYS worse things I could be doing.
Ir0nSkies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like choking on rubber dust for hours. That's an awesome story to have for a little, unassuming pebble.
Night-Mayor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:21:02 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have quite a few little things like that actually (hopefully everyone's got at least some). Just tokens from a bunch of random occurrences.
Ir0nSkies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:11 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To me, the coolest things are the plain objects with an awesome story behind them. I have this towel that my dad took with him during Desert Storm. There is a picture I have of him in his tent in Kuwait with this ugly ass towel hanging behind him. I brought it with me to Afghanistan. I joke that the towel has survived two wars. Perhaps one day my son will bring the war towel to a foreign land and carry on this fine tradition.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:08:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It happens though. Totally worth getting smoked for some things
Catkii ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 23:59:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't be dumb enough to yell back but my internalized anger and hate would get out one way or another, and it would not have a nice ending for me.
I hate being told who I have to "respect" because their position dictates I respect them. No, you are actually a shitcunt who means nothing to me.
Ir0nSkies ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 02:39:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly why the saying "If you don't respect the man, respect the rank" exists. Believe me, you don't have to respect the actual person. A military with that principle would be pretty ineffective.
Catkii ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:54:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it was how my parents raised me but respect was always earnt and never deserved.
Ir0nSkies ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:58:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely agree. Just because someone out-ranks me does not guarantee my automatic respect for them as a person. They still need to earn it.
You only have to respect their rank if you don't want to make life very difficult for yourself.
Catkii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:02:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To an extent I agree - say a typical work place boss. But what I've heard from friends in the forces it sounds like it's still above and beyond what I'd be willing to give to a higher up.
Ir0nSkies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:14:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'd say you made a smart decision by not joining. Many who did should have thought it through the way you did.
It's definitely not for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with that.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:05:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the entire military lol
Catkii ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 00:11:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly . Hence why I could never join.
George_W_Obama ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:09:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Buncha edgelords in here
Ferocious_raptors ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:39:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's working in general. Yeah you can keep jumping job to job until you find a great boss. But while looking you have to respect the title because otherwise you have no job and no job often means no home/food.
Catkii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:29:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From what I witnessed through friends and such was that it was more than the respect required for my boss who coincidentally is a dick but he's rarely around and never in your face.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:38:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't agree with you more on this.
je66b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i wouldnt be dumb enough to join the military
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:58:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
je66b ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:16:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so 7% of the military is smart?
i was more so speaking on the fact that i dont wanna be shot at or killed by a cell phone shooting at people i dont know for a cause i was for all intents and purposes, ordered to care about. im saying this regardless of how wrong my viewpoint on that matter may be.. my life isnt worth any of that and if someone thinks theirs is, theyre dumb.
and while im at it, sure im fortunate to grow up in a first world country but i have no desire to debate any of that.. thats just like.. my opinion, man.
Yourfavoriteindian ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:17:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Only combat arms see combat... That's less than 10% of the military, and those guys volunteer to do that for their own reasons. Some are adrenaline junkies, some have family ties, some want to protect their country, whatever the choice that's their reason, and it should be respected. 90% of the people in the military will NEVER fire a gun outside of basic and never see combat.
anon445 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:30:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about friendly fingers? I hear that's also a thing
Ir0nSkies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't necessarily say that only combat arms jobs ever see combat. They are the only ones purposely sent into combat, yes, but anyone can see combat just by virtue of the fact that they are deployed in a hostile fire zone.
Truck drivers aren't a combat MOS, but those bastards get IED'd and ambushed like nobody's business.
Catkii ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:47:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I considered it briefly for a technical role but then remembered I'd probably still have to deal with the meat heads and then I stopped thinking about it
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:48:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the wrong thing to say. Especially considering the Military's tech is 30-40 years ahead of civilian's and all that tech is developed by the Military.
POGtastic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:17:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're out of your mind. The vast majority of military tech is tried, proven, dependable, and old as fuck. There is cutting-edge stuff being developed, but all of it is done by civilian contractors and tested by special research detachments. Everyone else works with tech that's been in use for decades. The M16 was invented during the Vietnam War. The M2 was in use during WW2. I worked on the AN/GRC-211 and 171, both of which are older than dirt. Our radar was built in the late 50s. Our TACAN was built sometime in the late 70s.
Not only that, most of the innovations in military tech are incremental. So the "new and improved" technology that comes out every ten years or so was really developed in the 60s, and small improvements get made every once in a while.
The only exception is in the airwing. And even there, the vast majority of planes in service are, again, tried and dependable.
je66b ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:17:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i can count on a room full of peoples hands how many people have passed through my life who never developed anything for the military other than a hatred for it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:17:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're confusing respecting the person with the position.
metal_monkey80 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:37:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really anytime plays with hypothetical superhero moments like this, you have to roll your eyes. "Oh yeah? If 5 guys jumped you, you'd beat their ass? Those two years of Aikido you did in middle school sure will help!"
jimanri ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:59:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i couldnt join the military becouse i piss myself when somebody yells at me
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:06:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a tea cup chihuahua?
jimanri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes, yes i am
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you thought no one would discover you were a dog on the internet...
CuteDreamsOfYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should consider seeing a doctor?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing like some fuck fuck games to set a private straight
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the time I was at the shooting range and the guy beside me was going on and on to anyone that would listen how he was so amazing with guns and when he joined the Army he would be teaching the instructor a thing or two and they would be asking him for advice. Good luck with that mate, let us know how it works out for you
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those guys are always the worst shots. And they're the most frustrating when you're the safety on a zero range trying to help them succeed and they refuse to listen
ArmyCollegeboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol never heard someone actually say that but that's probably the dumbest thing someone could say about a Drill Sergeant.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No it's quite the opposite, I'd either suffer a mental breakdown or retreat into my shell and become an emotionless drone.
Zemogray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If I were in [insert random situation] I'd kick that guys ass" woah there tiger
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah my favorite is when people talk about getting robbed and that person comes out with "Oh let him try that on me." I'm like.. he has a gun and they somehow think they are faster?
6isNotANumber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Day Zero of BASIC, Summer of 1990-something - We were lining up in the chow hall for dinner and the DS got up in one pvt's face about his "attitude" [in all fairness, dude had a really annoying smirk that was apparently a permanent fixture of his face and a piss-poor attitude] and this dumb kid actually hauled off and popped the Drill square on the nose...
We never saw him again.
reddit_is_not_evil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't join the military. If a drill sergeant got in my face, I'd start to cry.
DownWitOPP-UknowMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure any one that has 5+ years of MMA training and fight expierence would do alright depending on size advantage or disadvantage and the level of combatives the drill instructor is at.
BloodAngel85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On an Air Force page on Facebook (What the piss, Trainee if anyone is interested) Someone commented "I can't wait for a TI to get in my face! I'm gonna yell "Shut up, honkey!"
elusivewater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially for when the person talks to a recruiter and all then backs out because they want to try and be successful at something else then ends up back at square one. If you're not going to go through with it at least have the balls to say it won't be for you.
digitaldeadstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to hate any of that macho posturing. Aside from sounding like a jackass, you look even worse if you get your ass kicked.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At some point they'll just hit you. And then they'll say you fell. Or they'll throw you and say you fell. Don't piss them off. They have a high rate of suicide, divorce, drinking issues, etc. They don't need your shit. Go to training, get trained, don't fuck with them, and send them a mother fucking fruit basket when you leave or some of that shit from edible arrangements.
Source: I know some people...
mrbaryonyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
File this in with "I could totally kill someone if I want, I just wouldn't because it's against my morality."
Right. Because killing is super easy and every marine that hesitated on the trigger was just being a pussy.
BlackMwoyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some have dude lol.
PixelLight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wont disagree but it's not unheard of. The kray twins.
13Foxtrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I in fact did watch someone attempt this. For some reason he picked a fight with the most badass DS there was. The DS was 82nd Airborne with his ranger tab. About 6'2 and solid as fuck. The guy swung once, and then ate sand and was choked out by the DS in 5 seconds. Hilarious it was. Not so much for the dumbass private who then found out what JAG was.
The_Brain_Fuckler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, I hate this.
Similarly, I detest how, once finding out that you were in the military, people often say some shit like: "oh, I was going to join (military branch), but I don't like people telling me what to do". As if they're too cool and edgy for the military.
NEWS FLASH: almost nobody likes being told what to do! Serving in the military isn't about being an unquestioning cock-gobbler and you're not above anyone serving in it just because you have a minor problem with authority.
Somewhat relevant: I was buying beer the other day and the cashier saw my military ID. He asked me what branch I was in and I told him I was in the Marines. The dude then replied "I was going to join the Marines, but I figured I was too smart for that". I was almost apoplectic with anger. Also, good job on his part, working at a gas station; I'm glad he found employment in an intellectually suitable field.
heap42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I wouldn't but I wouldn't give any fuck either... Probably the reason I was acquitted from mandatory military service...
pigeon_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what would be the outcome be if someone did yell back to a drill sergeant, or pushed the drill sergeant out of their space?
khitsule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh sounds like something my brother would say. He "doesn't respond to authority" and will get shitty at say, a cop telling him and not asking to do something trivial because of the authority aspect.
He changes jobs frequently because, I quote, he "will start shit with the boss because he has a problem with authority so quits before its enough to get sacked."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I hear this sometimes and it is highly amusing. I would cry. Almost no one has ever yelled at me before.
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i had a guy say this to me once when we were drinking... i said "i wouldnt, i would be the good little boy that they needed me to be and do exactly what they fucking told me to."
i never joined the military, but the gent that said it bailed out in 2 weeks, of Canadian Airforce Basic. didnt get kicked out, bailed....
he was a pussy...
skooched ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I would just sit there and resent him...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if you did they'd make your life there hell. And if you refused to participate in the fuck fuck games then they'd try to article you enough until they can chapter you. A lot less scary. Yes the military has gone soft and is getting softer. But still, Drills aren't people to fuck with
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mistake for misspeaking. But what you said is basically what I was trying to say. Except correct lol
crybannanna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to tell people I could never join the military because if a drill sergeant got in my face I would drop... into the fetal position and cry like a baby. Then everyone would make fun of me mercilessly... Eventually leading to me blowing my brains out in the bathroom.
I may be a coward, but I'm honest about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, I wouldn't make fun of you for not acting like a douche. But only if you cried into my shot glass so I could do shots of your tears
HeyItchaBoyRobby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do they get from trying to impress other people with your machoisms anyway?
Major ups to anyone who decided to join though. Takes a real man to be humble and have control over oneself in the face of a DI/DS. Or to deal with the consequences of not being able to do so for that matter.
BATHULK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:22 on August 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Holy fucking shit.
DangerMacAwesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
How about "I couldn't join the military because if the DI yelled at me I would cry like a little girl and curl up in a ball."
Because that was my reasoning.
Edit: it's me I'm talking about here.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the militard.
DangerMacAwesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's actually my excuse. That and asthma.
home_is_the_rover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me, it would go one of two ways. I cry at the drop of a hat; I seriously cry at everything. It's pathetic. But I also laugh when I'm nervous/scared. So I imagine that if I was being yelled at by a drill sergeant, I would be laughing and choking on my own tears at the same time... Shit would get ugly fast.
amsterdam_BTS ยท 6629 points ยท Posted at 20:07:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"You're doing the Mr. Mom thing today?" No. No I'm not. I'm doing Dad shit. I'm taking my kid to the park, and then we're going for ice cream, and then we're going to go home where I'll give him a bath and read him some books. Then when he goes to sleep I'll do the dishes and clean up. And no, that's not just today, that's every day. Some days with laundry added. And that's not Mom stuff or Dad stuff, frankly, that's parent stuff. So instead of calling me "Mr. Mom" as some backhanded way of complimenting me while perpetuating outdated stereotypes, just tell me you think I'm doing a good job with my kid. Better yet, don't say anything. I came to the park for my son, not for you. EDITS: Wow - gold! That's never happened to me before, so thanks to all! Also punctuation and grammar. Also there seems to be the impression that I am a stay at home Dad. I wish I were. I do all this stuff after work and on weekends.
mstibbs13 ยท 3504 points ยท Posted at 21:11:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have always hated when people refer to dads having to "babysit" while mom does other things. No, babysitting is when you watch someone elses kid.
ViridianDuck ยท 754 points ยท Posted at 01:38:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got this so much when my children were younger. All the fucking time.
"Are you babysitting today?"
"No, they're my children"
PoetmasterGrunthos ยท 234 points ยท Posted at 02:38:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used that exact line once. I pretended to be extremely confused by her question.
quetzalKOTL ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:32:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the best way to deal with any kind of bigotry. When they have to explain themselves, they realize how sexist/racist/whatever they're being.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:36:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly how I would react!
Gamiac ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:48:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Honestly, I'd be legit confused, and say the same thing. I'd probably add, "Isn't that when you take care of other people's kids?"
Naggins ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:59:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Works well for most things, especially weird sexist/homophobic/racist comments. Just act confused and ask them to explain the "joke". Usually ends with them realising that it's actually a kind of awful thing to say.
hakuna_tamata ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 04:51:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you babysitting today?
God No, these are mine, I bought them fair and square!
Methatrex ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:10:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I put them back where I found them my wife would get really mad at me.
imfreakinouthere ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:21:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, I'm parenting."
marco161091 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read that lady bit in Ron Swanson's voice.
[deleted] ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 22:58:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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tipsana ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 02:16:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would hear it from those dads who do jack shit around the house -- the ones who yell "the baby's diaper needs changing!" at their wives. "No, bro, I can only play 9 holes today. I have to babysit".
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 03:27:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man the ONE time my husband looked at me and said "she pooped" and thrust her toward me, I took her, disappeared for a minute, and came back with the baby and the diapers and wipes and handed her back to him.
Yazbremski ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:47:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Cleaning poop was a point of pride for me. My wife kind of gagged and pushed through it. I went through that shit(no pun intended) like a rock star and would have her cleaned and changed in like 7 seconds.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome. I Haven't done it that fast but I was pretty proud when I improvised while away from home once. Ran out of diapers at family's house and used a menstrual pad and a burp cloth.
Granted this one time occurrence happened while he was working in the studio with his partner and she was sitting on his lap while he was mixing a song. I was cooking dinner though! It wasn't as though we weren't busy, and he was always attentive otherwise. But I'm not going to change a diaper and cook!
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:51:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I overheard this from my soon to be ex-brother-in-law once, adding "Nah man, I'm giving my wife a night off." - for context, she worked six days a week and did ALL the house work, he worked maybe two days on a good week and either golfed or hunted.
I'm a stay at home dad, made my blood boil.
PamPooveyIsTheTits ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 01:51:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law said this to me once! I went out for whatever reason and toddler was home with my husband/her dad and I was telling MIL about it and she goes "It's so nice that he babysits for you so you can do these things"
Uuuuhhhh, it's not babysitting if it's your own kid. I nearly burst a vein trying to contain my rage.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:20:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then the insinuations that you doing anything that isn't directly related to childcare while "someone else" watches the kid (even when it's their father) means you're a bad mother. "You go to the gym every day? You're letting strangers raise your kid!"
I don't even have kids and I want to punch people who say that shit. When did we become a country where you're a bad parent unless you literally don't take your eyes off your kid during every waking moment? It's insane.
KeketT ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:41:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And at the same time, don't give parents enough time to take care of their child after birth.
ParlorSoldier ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:51:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, I'm letting people she sees every day help raise her. Because a kid who has multiple adults in their life who care about their well-being is clearly so deprived...
Fucking people.
joos1986 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:56:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not in the same country as you (lot more emphasis on the the traditional gendered roles here), but my cousin just had a baby a few months back. She's pretty young, 25 at most. Arranged marriage, the whole thing, but she seems alright with it. Her husband's working abroad and she lives with her family, my aunt, and her other siblings.
Everybody kinda pitches in to take care of the kid, which is nice, but the stuff they keep telling my cousin really pisses me off. Like any moment she is not with her child, she's a bad mom. She went out with me to get an anniversary gift for her husband? An hour plus in she gets calls from home haranguing her about being irresponsible and careless and 'a bad mom'.
Worst thing is how it plays out like a catch-22. Like they use 'bad mommy' as a catch all whenever it's convenient. Like going out and stuff, she'll get permission, make sure someone's there to watch the baby, tells her mom first and everything. But once she's physically not with the baby, she's fair game for everyone to give her shit.
I keep telling my aunt and cousins that it's not fair and pretty much ridiculous to expect her to be with the baby 24/7. And whether she's not doing a 'good enough' job or not, she doesn't deserve the constant guilting and being the subject of whims.
We disagree.
PamPooveyIsTheTits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:01 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, taking any time for yourself or your relationship! WHY DID YOU EVEN HAVE KIDS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SPEND TIIIIIIIME WITH THEEEEEEEMMMMMMM!
flatwave ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 00:35:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would give you all the upvotes if I could.. This is one of the biggest insults you can give a dad..
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:23:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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Tattoo_zoo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:30:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's so very true, unfortunately. My children's dad works quite a bit, about 60 hours a week. And although I have a full time job too, I feel like I have to ask him to keep an eye on the kids instead of just doing what I need to do. I accidentally perpetuate the situation because of guilt that I don't work as much as he does. If someone calls him while he is with the kids, he'll say he's "babysitting".
mynameisalso ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:30:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's their way of saying the kid isn't yours.
erispie ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:13:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn that makes me rage.
omnompikachu ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:09:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was when you sit on babies.
pappypapaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, at least that doesn't perpetuate gender stereotypes, so it's good.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:28:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God, I fucking wish my brother would realize this. I feel so bad for his wife, to be honest. Just one example out of HUNDREDS - one time we had a family reunion, and he and his wife have 3 kids, and everyone was outside at the pool at my parents house. One kid shits their pants, and one kid asks for crackers, so my VERY pregnant sister in law is like "I'll grab the crackers out of the diaper bag, will you please change [kid's] diaper?" And my brother in law goes , "No way that's your job, I'll grab the crackers." So my hella pregnant sister in law has to very painfully and slowly get down on her knees on cement changing a dirty diaper and literally starts tearing up a little from the pain of, you know, kneeling on cement when you've got a massive belly, while my brother just reaches over 6 inches to grab crackers for the other kid. I felt so bad for her in that moment.
And seriously that's just one of the things. Anytime she asks him to play with the kids for two seconds so she can shower, or take a nap, or even make dinner (which benefits HIM) or whatever, he huffs and puffs and complains like he's being forced to do slave labor. It's such fucking bullshit and I hate him for it. They are his kids too; fulfilling parental responsibilities are what is EXPECTED of him, not something to do if you want to go "above and beyond".
My brother is an asshole.
mstibbs13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:14:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing personal but I agree your brother is an asshole. Way too many like him out there. Be nice if he had to be the pregnant one, even for a day.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:16:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I agree wholeheartedly.
CylonGlitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If dads are "babysitting" then mom must be "playing business woman". Right?
Nice_Guy_AMA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy and his wife refer to it as Parent On Duty (P.O.D.) when they are the one responsible for their kids' wellbeing. One will ask the other to be P.O.D. so the former can get some work done, run some errands, or have a few drinks watching the game. Seems like a nice, neutral term for the situation.
Samson_Uppercut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, this is called "parenting" but thanks for playing, asshat.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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victoryfanfare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Half the time I wonder if it's because their husbands don't do jack shit as a parent, so they don't want to give their husbands any credit.
spandxlightning ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:33:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah this drives me nuts! I often hear dads say 'oh I'm babysitting today!', and I expect to see them with a whole herd of kids. But no, it's just theirs... That's not babysitting! That's being a dad!
duckyatlarge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're god damn right. Boggles my mind when people think dad time is "babysitting" fuckers.
p_iynx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or when dads refer to it that way. Motherfucker, that child is half yours!
SpinningNipples ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're the same kind of people who say the husband "helps the wife with chores", as if they belonged inherently to the wife.
strikingtwice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:13:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking haaaaaate babysit. No, he's my son, I am completely responsible for his life and I also enjoy the limited time we spend together. I also am not getting paid 10/hr to sext my high school quarterback boyfriend and raid the refrigerator.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. Babysitting is when you sit on a baby. It's right there, in the name. Jeez!
derpeddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:38:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh... I though it was the act of sitting on babies. Shit, no wonder I'm in jail.
hemeshehe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always comments how nice it is of my husband to "babysit the kids." Over the years, I've lost more and more patience for that phrase. This weekend she said it and I turned my head very slowly to her and said, "You mean it's nice of him for performing his duties as a father so I can shop for work appropriate attire for my new job?" She laughed and dismissed it with a "oh, you know what I mean." No, no, please enlighten me. What DO you mean. Sometimes it boggles my mind how my whole life she reiterated how men and women are equal and can do the same things, yet she still subscribes to this type of backward thinking.
junkit33 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:27:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People commonly refer to either parent as "babysitting" when one is out for a night on the town while the other is stuck at home with the kids. Not really a mom/dad thing...
MHG73 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 00:22:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never heard of a mom 'babysitting' her own kids while the dad works/goes out with friends/goes out to do chores. Only ever the dad.
apollo888 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:40:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I corrected my brother on this. Its not babysitting when its your own kid, dude. Its just staying in.
g_flower ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:19:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The girls on Teen Mom refer to themselves as "babysitting" their OWN DAMN CHILDREN all the time.
reddit__scrub ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:14:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because they're so young, they're not mentally ready to be a mom yet.
Generally speaking.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:13:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I've never heard that on that show.
junkit33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what to tell you. Do you have kids? Maybe that's why you've never used it or heard it, but it's incredibly common in parenting lexicon.
"Hey do you mind babysitting Thursday night? There's a work outing I wanted to go to." or "Yeah I think I can go out, let me just make sure the wife can babysit." Or many other variations of the same concept...
justcallmezach ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:40:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Must be regional. Dad here, never heard that before when referring to my wife. Heard it all the time when it would be me and my child alone.
Ironic, considering during that time, my wife worked overnights and I was the sole caretaker 4 days a week. Yet even though I would regularly be 'only parent' over half the week, I was the only one ever accused of 'babysitting'.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:18:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Must be. I hear it a lot. Never use it between baby mama and myself in any serious sense, but me and fellow dads use it back and forth and we all love spending time with our kids. I too was the primary caretaker for my daughter. We use babysitting to describe the times where you aren't actually doing anything with your kid and you are just sort of present because a person has to be there even if they are passed out. I would never use it to describe the time I am actually spending with her.
An example would be being invited out for a late night beer but having to decline because mom is at her mothers or something. That to me is babysitting because I am not parenting, I am serving a role closer to a sitter and less of a dad.
erispie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:15:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an involved aunt and they don't even use babysitting to refer to me watching the kid(s), because I'm not hired help.
sushi_hamburger ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I use the term all the time too. Some people get perturbed by it. Which makes me use more in their presence.
erispie ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:14:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have NEVER heard it used this way. Babysitting is when you're watching someone else's kid. If one parent is out on the town then you're the one "home with the kid(s)."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...Maybe they're in on a secret?
UndeadBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear this every now and then. I usually say "No, I snatched these kids from the park and there's nothing you can do to stop me"...in my head right before I fake a laugh and shrug.
Duderds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or when you sit on a child
nodnarbz1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow is this a real thing ? What dicks
twisted_memories ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some weird reason in my small backwards town they refer to it as babysitting whether mom or dad has the kids. It's pretty much the only time the phrase doesn't make me angry, it just confuses me slightly.
Targaryen-ish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He said, unknowingly hugging the mailmans offspring
ImNotSoSuper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with that, except for the fact that is exactly what my sister's baby daddy douche guy does. He will babysit his daughter every once and awhile but usually my sister watches her. Most fathers just watch their children, not this idiot.
Shishakli ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
What other short phrase more succinctly gets to the point of why you are otherwise occupied?
"I have to watch the kids" which is equally insulting of that sort if thing already bothers you, leads to follow-up questions. "I have to babysit" leads to "ah, gotcha"
justcallmezach ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:42:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone tells me they're babysitting, I end up asking, "Oh, who's kids?" Because I legitimately assume you're watching someone else's kids with your own.
Shishakli ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that's a valid question with an easy answer.
Still haven't heard a better phrase...
mstibbs13 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:57:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Home with my family for the night/day?
I_Am_Jacks_Scrotum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:17:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, but what OP was saying is that "Home with my family (or kids) for the night" is a much longer phrase than "babysitting", which is a shorter phrase conveying what (to OP) is the same information. The attitude of trying to convey as much as possible in as few words as possible is a product of the inherent loss of formality which accompanies modernity (as well as the 140 character tweet.)
Shishakli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh... Well if you don't want to come out with friends why don't you just say so?
butterscotch_yo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
how about "i gotta parent"? "babysit" implies you're doing a job you wouldn't otherwise do. you're a parent, you're taking responsibility for your spawn.
Shishakli ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:53:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Your first sentence isn't contradicted by your second sentence.
When I say "I'm babysitting" in reference to my own children, it means that 90% of my attention and effort during said period of time is focused on the wellbeing and entertainment and education of subject children.
If that phrase implies I'm doing something I wouldn't usually do, then it's 100% accurate. This isn't something I usually do.
If it implies that I resent said duty, then that isn't exactly accurate. Focusing my attention on my kids is often more enjoyable and rewarding than anything else I'm likely to do, but a lot of the time it's just exhausting and frustrating when I'm already exhausted and frustrated.
What it's intended to imply and I think communicates perfectly well is that what I'm doing (looking after my kids) is more important than whatever it is you want me to do, whether you like it or not, and whether I like it or not.
Edit: I should add, I see why people see it the way you do, I'm just saying that there's another side where that isn't the way it's intended. Not for everyone at any rate
mrhelton ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:21:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife gets so annoyed when I tell her I'll babysit our son while she goes out with my mom. I mostly do it on purpose now
Cdr_Obvious ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:35:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does it count as "babysitting" if you get paid?
Particularly, if you watch your kids while wifey goes out for drinks with her girlfriends, then pays you later in blowjobs?
Asking for a friend.
Lizardd ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because misandry is socially acceptable, if not encouraged in today's society.
[deleted] ยท 2272 points ยท Posted at 21:12:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
GunNNife ยท 296 points ยท Posted at 21:36:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'd buy that shirt. No, I don't "have my son for the day." I have him every day, ya dipshit!
[Editted for better insult]
erddad890765 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 22:58:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go.
FuckinGoof ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:30:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm getting one.
I think the fact that I don't have kids only makes it better.
erddad890765 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do that whenever I see people with a cool shirt idea.
klaus_the_fish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are a goof so its okay.
ivanoski-007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
here is another one
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:15:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
erddad890765 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But, this is a circle...
Oh. Ugh.
iRonnie16 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:31:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who often has nasal blockages this insult always makes me feel like I'm the worst person. People seem to really hate it
GunNNife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, my remark is pretty insensitive. As I understand it, the term in the insult is for the people who just stand there with their mouths gaping open because they are stupid, not because they actually can't breathe through the nose. Regardless, I regret my choice of insults.
iRonnie16 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:01:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Understood, continue to insult mouth breathers
ls1003 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a mouth breather and I think that you're giving us a bad name.
GunNNife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry. That was an insensitive remark on my part. :(
ls1003 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did not think you'd go so far as to make an edit. Props to you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As opposed to a nose breather?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ivanoski-007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
here is my attempt
ayakokiyomizu ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:43:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are family photos of my dad from the 80s (when I was a little too young to remember) with a t-shirt saying "Real Men Change Diapers". Pretty badass, I think.
stirwise ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 00:13:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The lesbian equivalent of that shirt is "We're both the real mom."
samoorai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend is a lesbian. I'd totally buy that shirt for her, if she had a kid.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:36:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's when I lock myself in the bathroom because it's the ONLY GODDAMN QUIET I GET IN THIS HOUSE.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They still find you. They always manage to find you.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:11:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
garden_chump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:05 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it did not say SHIT on it I would buy it. My kids know how to read.
LetMeGDPostAlready ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:40:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had more than one upvote for this. Also, how fucking 21st-century of /u/amsterdam_BTS !
Right on.
eeeebbs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:49:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha. Or a "Mr. Dad" t-shirt. For some reason that's hilarious to me.
just_redditing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Dad
ivanoski-007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
here is one
PlayMp1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:02:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My life is Dad and I do Dad shit!
give_me_a_boner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd wear that shirt
ivanoski-007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
here is another one
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck that would be epic to see a dad wearing that at a park.
wettingcherrysore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doing dad shit bitches
erddad890765 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:58:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go.
GGProfessor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:51:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I question how wise it is to wear a shirt with the word "shit" on it around your child.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:53:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good point. That's probably why we all say 'shit'. Fucking shirts.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:13:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not very. It would be great before they're old enough to read. The G-rated alternative would be to replace "shit" with "stuff".
just_redditing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, who cares. Found the prude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit....boundaries? It is a good day in America
superdude279 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am most definitely going to do this :)
IGuessItsCool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no kids but I'd rock this shirt so hard
Sajun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then cheekily say "I bought this for you." while finishing that sentence with ", asshole." instead of a period at the end in your head.
litabear58 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://daddydoinwork.com/product/real-men-dont-babysit-their-kids/
silenteyes333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would buy that shirt too and I'm a mom. Hehe. Actually I would buy it for all my friends. :) make it happen!
errantapostrophe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think my brother needs a shirt like this. He's a stay at home dad so I'm sure he gets those comments a lot
awdasdaafawda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What sucks is 'Mr Mom' was a GREAT stay at home dad.
SanDiegoBrah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Link to the shirt? Not a dad yet, but you can never be too prepared.
tacozy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm doing a Dad shit" - 45 minutes on the toilet or until my phone dies, whichever comes first.
ivanoski-007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here is another one
lolzergrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One typo would make things odd though.
Ashley777 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:27:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would buy one for my bf.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:04:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you not fucking read higher? Stop editing top comments. Nobody gives enough shits to year what else you have to say.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aww thanks for thinking I give a fuck about what you have to say. ;*
chikimonke ยท 1392 points ยท Posted at 22:03:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a former Stay-At-Home Dad, it infuriated me when we'd go to the park and I'd get comments like this, all the time. Even worse, they were all on their phones or talking to each other while their kids ran around. Meanwhile I was playing with my daughter and inevitably ended playing with the other kids too, as they craved some attention. Then I'd get nasty looks from the moms when they noticed me playing with all the kids. And just to be clear, because society sucks, I made sure to never make contact with any kid but my daughter. All I ever did was play along with being a pirate or monster or whatever the flavor of the day was. Now I have 2 kids and people are always "so impressed" when I'm out alone with the 2 of them, and the cycle continues...
abcde123987 ยท 734 points ยท Posted at 00:15:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It amazes me how this sexist stereotype manages to insult everybody all at once, you know? It's insulting to you because it perpetuates this idea that for a dad to be involved is some massive feat, ergo implying your gender is an inferior parent and that you're abnormal for taking time or caring. And then it's insulting to the moms who do the same thing you're doing but get only criticisms and not praise because "that's their job" so it gets nitpicked instead of glorified.
chikimonke ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 00:29:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's going to be a long time, or never, before these stereotypes go away. It's much too ingrained into our societal beliefs, but maybe with each generation it will get a little better.
abcde123987 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:30:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope so!
pleasantly_psychotic ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:39:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has been one of the oddest realizations of becoming a parent for me: the threshold for good mothers vs good fathers is very different.
Basically, fathers that haven't abandoned their child are immediately "such an amazing dad!" Mothers, however, have to do all of the regular parenting stuff (breastfeeding/pumping/formula; being up at night; diapers; and, you know, helping to raise a child), PLUS lose the babyweight immediately, have their makeup done at all times, keep the house fully organized, and have a killer career, and are still far more likely to be criticized and questioned.
It's not a flattering scenario for either parent. Now that I am aware of it, I try to be especially kind to all the moms I talk to.
Djkelly559 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:33:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy Shit you're right.
I_Believe_in_Rocks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:07:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you read further up in the thread, you'll see stay at home mom's getting shit on in at least a dozen comments. Of course, the whining started out as a legitimate complaint, but it quickly degenerated into "fuck stay at home moms! They've got it soooo easy!" So, yeah, your point has been proven in the comments.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:19:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"all men are pedos and rapists, and women are not."
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:15:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I don't think there's anything wrong with just letting the kids play together. The parent doesn't need to participate in every single thing their child does.
chikimonke ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:29:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, and I am a firm believer of that with my kids too. However, it bugged me that they never looked up from the phone or or broke conversation to check up on their kid. Then if the kid decided they wanted to play with them, they'd do everything in their power to not have to get off that bench. Then when I showed up, I'd get the "check out this guy who thinks he can take care of a kid, mom must be busy today" looks and then when I was actually playing with my daughter and sometimes their kid, the looks would get even worse. I relished my time home with my daughter, it generally never felt like a chore. (There's always those days that it does, no way around that)
lawyerlady ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:13:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can we also add "better get a gun" or "youre in trouble"
People say that shit to my husband constantly since we had a girl.
Our daughter is blonde with blue eyes and if one more weird stranger comes up to us and makes comment on this like it will make her especially prone to some assholes that deserve to die at my husbands hand, ill kill them instead.
No one ever comes up to me and suggests I'll need to be a possessive psychotic mother in law to my sons spouse.
My husband is 6'7 and our son is older, on track to be super big too and is already violently possessive of his little sister. The chances are that boys will already be frightened, my husband doesnt need to kill or threaten to kill anyone.
Heres an idea, how about my husband just ensures my daughter is a happy, confident girl who feels safe and capable when she begins dating and make sure she is in the best place psychologically to date men who will treat her well and that she doesnt have any "daddy issues".. and other than that we, as parents, stay the hell out of our kids sex lives. I certainly dont want to discuss my daughters sex life while shes only 6 mo old.
chikimonke ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:03:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear ya. I'm white and my wife is Indian, so my kids have a bit of "exoticness" to them. We refer to them as either Perma-tan or Basian (beige and asian) My daughter is 5 and has always been more friendly with boys than girls. Not sure if it's because she spent the better part of her first 2 years with me or what, but boys seem to gravitate to her. I jokingly say I'm in trouble when she gets older, and I mean it somewhat, but I also know that we are raising her right and that she'll be able to make good choices on her own when the time comes. I don't think I'd ever go so far as to try and intimidate a potential boyfriend, but I sure as hell am going to make it blatantly obvious how much she means to me and my wife.
lawyerlady ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:54:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im just starting to get disturbed that my son is going to have start dating in this world of gun toting dads.
chikimonke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just make sure he knows how to treat a girl with respect and all should be fine, just like I'm hoping I raise my daughter with enough self respect to stay away from guys that don't respect her.
Senuf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:28:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess both girls and boys should treat each other with respect. I've been taught it's a two-way road, and I teach my kids (daughter and son) the same.
WitBeer ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:00:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had another kid call me dad at the park, just because I played with him at the same time as my kids. The mom was pissed at first, then you could just see the sadness appear. It must've been a moment of clarity for her.
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 22:32:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh geez I'm sure those kids got plenty of attention. I was a stay at home mom and took my kid to the park so he could get some playtime in with other kids and I could get some much needed me time. I knew some people must have judged me for setting him loose at the park and occasionally watching him from over my book, but he needed interaction with someone who wasn't me.
But of course if a grown up was out there playing, everyone gravitated to them, especially kids like my son, who wanted to feel like big kids by playing with the grown ups. I hope you don't think all of the kids were attention starved; it was quite the opposite, in my son's case, anyway. Now I'm kinda curious about you - whenever did you find time for yourself?
chikimonke ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:02:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nap time. I was with my daughter from birth to 15 months, so it also wasn't the same as having an older (relatively) boy either. I needed to stay near her, or risk her just walking herself right off the top of the play ground. Also, I failed to mention that I had witnessed many of the kids wanting their parent/guardian to come play with them, only to be disappointingly turned away. I by no means thought that they were all being neglected or whatever, as that would be pretty hypocritical of me not knowing the full situation, but was merely an observation, and more often than not, with the same kids/parents. I'm back working in an office full time now, and I still miss those days. Hardest but most rewarding job ever.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:44:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky you! No seriously. I forgot that other kids nap. My kid stopped napping when I dayweaned at around 18 months. He went to bed a little earlier, but there was no mid-day break for me. D:
I've definitely turned my kid away - we were there for him to play with other kids, not me, but that doesn't mean he didn't try to get me to play too. I hope it didn't look to heartbreaking to observers lol. Though parents playing with their kids always makes me remember this thing that happened to me once - I arranged a playdate for me and an acquaintance. Our sons were going to play and she and I were (I thought) going to chat. Well, every single time her son said, "Mommy, come play with me", she went and played with him. So I sat twiddling my thumbs, watching this grown woman go down the playground slides. I never scheduled another playdate with her. Why should I schedule a specific time to meet someone at the playground just so I can sit around and look at my phone - I could do that at any time! No need to schedule a particular time for it! Is it wrong that I felt so miffed? I always thought she should have just said, "No, Billy, I'm talking to Tommy's mom right now. You go run and play with Tommy."
And I don't judge other parents who play with their kids (though I judge the hell out of that one mom). I just assume that they all work and never get to spend time with them otherwise, or that they genuinely enjoy it, or that their kids get plenty of playtime with other kids.
Hardest job though? I don't know, maybe I'm doing it wrong, but I feel like reports of its difficulty are greatly exaggerated. Pretty cushy gig.
Man it seems like we see differently about a lot of stuff, but you still sound cool. You obviously love your kids and enjoy spending time with them and that's pretty cool. If we were at the park I definitely wouldn't give you the stink eye or make snide comments about being Mr. Mom (not that I do that anyway). I'd glance at you from over my book and think "Looks like they're having a good time!" :D
chikimonke ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:27:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I say "toughest" job in that there's really no training before you get thrown into it. Sure you can read books, but even that's a minefield as pretty much every parenting book contradicts all the other parenting books. The loneliness got to me after a while too. My wife was in her pediatric residency and always super busy, and we hadn't been in the are for very long and the only people we knew, were other residents. Was especially bad when she had to work a full month of 3rd shift hours. Because of all of this, it was also the toughest time in our marriage to this point. We made it through just fine, and we are stronger because of it, but anyone that tells you that having a baby will save your marriage, is just down right delusional. Back to the hardest job thing, for my current job (Mechanical Engineer) I actually got schooling for it and was at least somewhat prepared for it. However, nothing is cooler, or more rewarding, than seeing your child accomplish something for the first time, and that makes it all worth it, hence the most rewarding.
Edit: Also, thanks for the compliments and thanks for not giving "my kind" the stink eye :D
eketros ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that I have probably offended people in the past by doing something similar to this. I don't know what exactly was going on with that mom & kid, so don't know what their situation really was. But I know that I have done things that have strained friendships because I was putting my kids above my friend. The thing is that my friends couldn't see the entire context. They don't know what is going on with my kids & my relationship with them, so really have no idea how much my kids need the time or what it means to them. As a parent you know your kid well and can read signals in their behaviour that other people can't see. So while I do think it is fine to tell a kid that you are talking to someone else right now, and can play with them later, I also have had times where that really wasn't the right thing to do with my child. I didn't really expect other people to understand that though, so when my kids were young I mostly socialized with other people that had similar parenting styles as mine.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:32:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeahhh it was my impression that there was some dynamic going on between them that was totally alien to me. Other things that I almost included, but seemed irrelevant after consideration was that this kid was super whiny and needy and my son actually didn't enjoy playing with him. E.g. My kid found an awesome (by 3 year old standards) stick and this kid whined and whined until his mom asked me if he could have it (????!!!!!) I said, "Uh sure..." and then I said to my son, "Listen Tommy, I think it would make Billy super happy if you gave him your stick - let's give it to him and I'll help you find an even better one" because WTF??? Obviously this kid was a bit spoiled and coddled and was apparently rarely told no, even for the most petty of requests. But hey I have no idea what the home life is like, how much attention he got at home, what developmental issues he may or may not have had, etc.
I don't care that she put her kid above me, but yeah like you said, we were obviously incompatible as far as play dates are concerned because I was bored as fuck and felt like the whole thing was totally pointless and not what I had in mind at all. The current group I hang out with is on the same wavelength that I am - kid comes over saying "play with me", and they get an automatic "nope, you're here to play with [playdate friend's name], now run along." And we have a nice chat and unwind. Hope the other mom found some compatible companions as well.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:53:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you on this. I was starting to think I'm the only one who doesn't even think of being a mom as a "job". And going to the park for us was definitely a time for me to just chill while my son went and played with other kids. We always had plenty of play time together, so I was always more concerned about him getting social time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, same here! And being a stay at home mom was especially great because you can make your own schedule, you don't have to worry about taking time off for your kid's illnesses, and you have plenty of time to get home stuff like making dinner, doing laundry, etc done and don't have to squeeze it into your "free time." Actually, I had to do that when I worked before I had a kid. My one day off was usually Monday, so that was my weekly laundry day, errand running day, and grocery shopping day. Some day off. Now I can do whatever I want whenever I need to do it. And then off to the park to relax. Heaven. Yeah the actual parenting can be tricky, but you'd have to do that anyway, whether you're working or not. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's a sweet deal.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The best part!
Saarlak ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:15:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother-in-law always acts astound when I care for my son alone (when my wife is out doing shit or out with friends).
"He cooked dinner, fed him, AND gave him a bath before doing bed time? Wow! Did you tell him how to do that?"
Bitch, please. Just because I have testicles doesn't mean I'm an inept parent. And just because your daughter has a uterus doesn't mean she has to "teach" me how to do fuck all.
Cellophane_Flower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just remember, older generation women think that way because a lot of husbands and fathers were douches for centuries. Shit gets passed down like that, and soon enough there's a prejudice so deep in their brains they can't comprehend any other way.
Saarlak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She is also a control freak and, as much as I hate to say it, she has completely broken her husband. He is an awesome guy but she has convinced him he can't do anything without her and that has colored her view of men. At the end of the day my kiddo is happy so I'm happy.
Walker131 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:01:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That society comment is on point, as a mid twenties dude I am always so aware of eye contact/ physical contact with other people's kids. It makes it really awkward when they are climbing on you asking to play and just like ๐ please stop your parents are staring at me. Maybe I'm too worried about what other people are thinking lol
chikimonke ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:06:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still remember seeing a billboard many years ago that was just a close up of a grown man's hand holding a little kid's hand. The caption was something along the lines of "if it looks wrong, it probably is" or some crap like that, implying that any guy holding a kids hand must mean he's up to no good. I don't remember what group put it up, but I was less than pleased with it, and this was before I even had a kid.
salakius ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:25:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This sucks. Now I'm gonna perpetuate the stereotype of Swedish people being smug assholes who think they got everything right. But reading this after a morning walk where I saw two belt bucket, viking t-shirt, hard labour men on parernal leave with their kids in strollers walking side by side while no one bats an eyelid, I'm really lucky to live in Sweden.
Pottski ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:15:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All men are either pedophiles or absent fathers according to the playground set. Pretty infuriating.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're an awesome dad.
Never change.
:)
chikimonke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! I do my best.
August_28th ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep doing what you're doing.
chikimonke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For sure!
GoAViking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're a great Dad.
not_AtWorkRightNow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel better, my girlfriend is a single mother and she's gotten dirty looks for playing with the kids. Some of that is just lazy people being mad because other people aren't as lazy as they are.
CylonGlitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing happened with me. Always was assumed to be a creep because I was alone with kids at the park... yeah my kids.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When my kids were littler, I would chase them at the mall playground. It was GREAT fun.
All the uptight Mommies, Daddies, Nannies and Grannies just sitting on the bench with their noses stuck updating their Facebooks.
I would chase my kids and their kids. I was the tree that they climbed. I was the log that they would jump over. I was the BASE when they played tag. And when we were done playing, we would high five the other kids as we left.
laxpanther ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking my 16mo daughter to the grocery store every week (amazing! I cook too!) is presumed to be "giving mom a break" by all the older ladies who seem to be mighty impressed that a dad is shopping with his little girl. Thank you but I don't need your backhanded compliments, just being a parent here.
chikimonke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually love taking my kids to the grocery store. My daughter (5) and I play "frozen food catch" with the frozen vegetables and my son (almost 2) turns every item possible into a musical instrument and says hello to everybody that passes us. I love seeing my kids make others smile, makes me a proud papa.
laxpanther ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With ya there!
laxpanther ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
interestingly enough, on the boston.com front page today...
http://imgur.com/JoiaMc4
chikimonke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting read. I've always held a desire for a work/life balance, even before kids. Having a kid only magnified that desire. I'm not going to put in long hours at work week in and week out and miss out on time with my kids. If others at work look down on me for that, oh well, not my problem. I'm happy where I am in my career. As an engineer people generally want you to move up into management eventually, I have 0 desire to do that. I went to school to be an engineer, as soon as I'm management, I'm no longer doing engineering. Sure I could probably make a little more money, but we live pretty comfortably and that extra money is not equal to the extra time I get with my kids.
Also, are you from or in the Boston area, or just happen to be reading boston.com?
laxpanther ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From Boston area, and I actually didn't even read the article. The Boston.com site has become mostly a tabloid and I thought that the headline was pretty much the view of the people we are complaining about. Fitting.
Myself, I own a small construction co and while it's a lot of work, I am able to keep it more or less confined to an 8-9 hr workday M-F so I have time for life, which now includes much more family stuff that it used to, and I'm happy for that. Actually careful what I wish for, wife just told me the test for #2 is positive two days ago. If that's true and everything goes well, knock on wood, I've got another eight and a half months to finish my addition before we run out of rooms in my house.
I need to get off Reddit and go do some subfloor!
Edit, this is sort of anonymous, but my handle is present across many forums so if anyone who knows me reads this, don't tell my wife I spilled the beans. We aren't telling anyone until week 12, assuming everything progresses until that point!
chikimonke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, well congrats on #2, I won't tell anyone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has been a sty at home dad for 26 years now (large gap in sibling age) and he had an article written about it in the local newspaper in Memphis, TN back in the 90s because it was so backwards to their southern lifestyle. In my yearbooks he's the only guy in the PTA pictures and people aaaaalways make jokes about him becoming "good friends" with the wives in the neighborhood. Fuck off with all that.
shera999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like you really cherished the time you had being a stay at home dad and that is awesome. I've been a stay at home mom since my son was born 2 years ago and love every minute of it (well, almost every minute). But if I take him to the park or the gym it is pretty much the only time that I get adult contact. My husband is gone from 6am to 7pm Mon-Fri and I need some adult interaction for my own sanity. My son gets my 100% undivided attention 23 hours a day and I hope people don't judge me because I need adult interaction for a little while a few times a week.
chikimonke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me, there's a difference between letting him play so you can get a breather/adult time (see my post a little further up) and completely ignoring the kid for an hour. The moms that I was talking about were the 2nd type who then would judge and give me nasty looks if I played with their kid. There's a better than average chance that if I just showed up with my own kid/s that I'm probably not a creeper, then enjoy the fact that you're still getting some self time and your son is still playing and enjoying himself.
bm_iswmc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So was my dad! For me at least (female). So my parents made it a point that their friends were the people who would allow their child to come over to my house to play with me (because I guess every parent thought my dad was a child predator, but I definitely get that vibe more from other friends' parents).
PrenatalVitamins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I play on my phone or talk to parents and ignore my child when we go to the play area. I brought him there to specifically learn interactions between peers. I mean. I'm not going to coddle him every time he looks my direction. He's gatta figure this shit out y'know. Learn how to say 'yes' 'no' or when to get adult intervention.
If he specifically interacts with me or asks for me, I'll pay attention to him obviously. Same thing goes for crying. Other than that? Get out there and go get the only social interact you have outside of Mom and Dad.
regular-wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit like this makes me genuinely afraid to have kids. It's not the fear of responsibility or the burden of fatherhood, it's being labeled a pedophile because I play with my child.
whatsnewpussykat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband took our son out to meet a buddy at Starbucks when baby was maybe 4-5 months old? The other guys was astounded that I "let" my husband take the baby out alone.
Wat?
DrCosmoMcKinley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The weird thing is, when I take two kids somewhere, I get lots of comments about having my hands full, or Mr. Mom etc. If I take all three out somewhere, nothing! It's like some kind of force field.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
chikimonke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:25:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely understand and agree actually. I've got no problem with independent play, and encourage my kids to do so. I think my initial comment came across wrong, and I think it has to do with a different approach to park time. When I go out to the park, it's for me to play with my kids in a new setting. I appreciate the need for "me time", I just find it at other times. Also, as I've said elsewhere, there's a subtle but significant difference between trying to get a few moments to yourself while your kid plays and doing everything in your power to ignore your kid but then get annoyed, upset or freaked out if I happen to entertain your child while playing with my own. I really didn't mean to imply any parent not paying attention to their child at all times was sub par or lazy.
MyDogHatesYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, the "so impressed." I fucking hate it. My brother's first wife was a borderline personality disorder meth head. When she took off he got sole custody of their daughter. I remember some friend of my mom's telling me how impressed she was with my brother and how he was keeping his daughter. I straight up asked her, "what the hell else would he do?" She had no answer.
JustAnotherLemonTree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was a single parent for about 5 years after he divorced his first wife and got primary custody of me. Now I'm wondering what sort of comments he got when he took little 3-yr-old me to the park or the pool. :S
eternal_peril ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, me too
Dad of 3, I take them out when my wife wants a break or busy. How can I possibly handle the responsibility of my own children!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's nice that you played with your kid, but it is also just fine to let them play alone or with other kids.
It is important for children to develop skills independently and that concept has been regressively stunted the last two decades by hover parents.
At least a park visit gives children a chance to put some distance between themselves and their parental units.
chikimonke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I've tried to clarify this a few times in response to other similar comments. I assure you that I am not a hover parent. Both my kids get plenty of independent play time. My wife and I have also been firm believers in not rushing to our kids as soon as they fall or bump into something. Saves a lot of drama down the road, as they now only cry/get upset if they truly are hurt. So again, my original comment wasn't to say that parents should be playing with their kids every waking hour, but when you're not playing with them and you're at the park, don't give another parent dirty looks because they are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Curious as to how you lucked out and got to be a stay at home dad
chikimonke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So we had been living in Boston while my wife finished up getting her MD and MBA and I was working north of the city. Then she got into residency at Dartmouth, which is up in the middle of no where NH. Rather than quite my job, I worked it out that I'd work from home 3 days a week, but I'd also go down one day, spend the night, then work the next day as well, then drive home. This went on just fine for a few months. Then they started getting weird at work and demanding that I spend more time in the office. I could see the writing on the wall, they were going to lay me off, but wanted to see if they could get me to quite first. I stuck it out for a little while longer, and sure enough, got laid off. Now as an engineer living in northern NH, there's not a lot of job opportunities. I was laid off in April, diligently looked for a job, went on many interviews, but nothing stuck. Then that July we found out we were going to have a baby. Kept looking for a job to no avail, unless I wanted to commute 2+ hours each way, which was a no go with a kid on the way. Come October we decided we weren't going to stay in that area long term, and we really wanted one of us to be able to stay home with the baby if possible. Since she was trying to finish residency, it only made sense for me to be the one to stay home, so the job search was put on hold. Then in April our daughter was born and so began my 15 months of being a Stay At Home Dad. It worked out great for my wife too, because she was confident that the baby was in good hands, and I'd send pictures to her all day. When our son was born 3 years later, I did not have the same opportunity to stay home with him, so we ended up getting a nanny who was great with him and she sent us constant picture updates throughout the day. Now they are both in daycare and my daughter starts Kindergarten next week, time flies man...
PinkyandzeBrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And it's a pity that cause you're a guy you're automatically a creeper. You could be a neutered eunuch, but that still isn't enough.
acvg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sucks I live in Brooklyn and see dad's all the time at the park with kids, it's like 40% mom 30% nanny and 30% dad
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Should have shined them on by going to the park in a wife beater and JD bottle full of ice tea.
randomzinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your pay off will happen. Probably at your daughter's wedding. "I had the best dad..."
tifu_throwaway123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You only got nasty looks? I'm a fat, bearded, tattooed, motorbike riding fly-in-fly-out miner. So when it's my week off and I take the kids to the park... Obviously I'm a paedophile and police get called. The mums ALWAYS herd their kids away from me the second I get there while they wait for the police to arrive.
And you know what? I'm fine with it. If those slags are gonna be judgemental bitches, well fuck them. I wouldn't want my kids playing with the spawn of those whores anyway.
chikimonke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have not experienced that, as I'm your "average looking" mid 30s white guy. Another I just remembered though, people commenting how nicely mommy dressed and did her hair. I did that my self thank you very much. You've never seen a part so straight and pigtails so even until you've had an engineer do them.
UndeadBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, this happens to me every time there are moms at the park with their kids. They look at me like I'm insane because I'm running around with my kid. Yes, I know I'm too big to be climbing on the equipment but two years ago, I was physically incapable of doing shit like this. I want to enjoy my son's childhood and have him remember me as a fun dad. And I'm going to do the same damn thing when my daughter is old enough to play at the park. I don't give a damn if people think I'm creepy when I let their kids join in. I'm practically a mountain of a man and kids want to climb on me!
digitaldeadstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Parent's who don't pay attention to their kids at the park suck. My wife and I took our son to our local park one day and there were a few others there. This one lady had three kids, ranging from a young toddler (maybe 2?) up to maybe 7 or so. She was focused on her phone as the toddler climbed up this ladder-like thing to the very top. He got scared and his older brother called for his mom. That's when she noticed and freaked out. She climbed halfway up and then told the oldest to go up and get him. My wife ended up going up the ramp on the other side to the top and got him to safety. A few minutes later the lady gave a halfass thanks to my wife and then promptly went back to her phone.
Very_Sharpe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:34:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good on you bro, and society does suck when it comes to this. You just do your thing and tell those natty bitches that maybe they should get off their phones and asses and play with their kids
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:23:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
chikimonke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Why not do both? My daughter and I have played with Legos for as long I can remember. My wife and I also mentor a high school robotics team and my daughter has been super involved and interested since she had any idea as to what was going on. She's also helped me assemble many things around the house but helps me cook dinner too. As long as she's interested and engaged, I'm up for it.
Edit: just to add, we also watch baseball daily right now and football whenever it's on and she's now going to a soccer class/camp thing. I like to think she's pretty well balanced.
Cleave400 ยท 1020 points ยท Posted at 22:01:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a divorced Dad who takes care of his kid pretty much solo due Mom being otherwise occupied most of the time - this times 100.
At the park, at the school, at the doctor's office, at the children's museum, at the store buying clothes, at the trampoline place for Bobby's birthday, riding our bikes, on and on and on.
Personally, I blame mass media and how it portrays men. Sit-coms especially.
averymadison ยท 653 points ยท Posted at 23:59:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously.
I'm a woman, my mom left the family when I was in my teens, and my dad has become my hero and the parent and friend I needed to navigate the world post-college. Every time I see anti-dad stereotypes I go off the rails. My dad saved my life while my mom was too busy drinking. Why is it that all my friends whose dads are assholes get the "yeah fuck him! Deadbeat dads..." but the fact that I have no relationship with my mom warrants a "she's your MOM, every girl needs her mom! You should try and fix things." No. Seriously no.
imeatingdinonuggets ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 02:56:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I HATE the "but she's your mom!" line. So what. Doesn't mean she can't be a shitty person. Sheesh.
ZestyMicrowave ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 02:42:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I've never heard a perspective like yours but it makes sense, thank you for sharing it.
gokuudo ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:11:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the realest comment. You can literally say "Fuck my dad," in public and people wont blink, but the moment you say "Fuck my mom," everyone jumps to the defense of a woman they know nothing about.
Lhtfoot ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:37:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are 100% correct... I'm currently in a 2-year long custody-battle for my daughter and the bias I have experienced is severely unsettling.
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 04:53:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am totally sorry that you are going through that. Courts are extremely biased towards women when it comes to custody. Statistically, there's a really good reason for that. You have my deepest sympathy. But, for the love of god, please do not turn into a men's rights activist over this. It's not worth it.
Lhtfoot ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 05:11:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate your initial sentiment. However, asking a man whose rights are being trampled to not stand up for those rights, is not appreciated.
Imagine if someone had told battered-woman, or a woman who could not vote, "For the love of God, please don't turn into a women's right's activist."
I know you meant well. However, this just shows how much of a disconnect is actually present in our society, in regards to equal-rights and sexual-discrimination. It is so prevalent, that I don't expect you to understand how your comment was offensive to me.
crypticXJ88 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:23:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe they were referring specifically to r/mensrights, where people take it way too far, and its actually chauvinism. Just in case you didn't know.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 05:31:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please by all means stand up for your rights. You should. I'll help you even. I have worked to help men in these situations. Over the years, I have had like half a dozen buddies who have been through the wringer because the mother of their children was basically unfit in some way. It's horrible. And there's not a ton out there for men who do not already possess significant resources.
And, yes; it's totally sexist.
But, that said, I have yet to find ANY Men's Right's organization that actually helped with this type of situation. I never seen one help with court costs, child care, getting food stamps, getting education, getting a safe clean place to stay, getting employment, or significantly improving the outcome of any particular case. I have never seen a single one work in any real capacity to change the sexist assumption that women are better care takers. I never seen a single one actually attempt to change the crappy laws that favor an unfit parent on the basis of gender. Not seen a one that's offered free legal help, therapy, or helped with transportation costs. NOTHING.
What I do see is them radicalizing vulnerable men who are in shitty situations and basically stoking their anger and validating every sexist/misogynistic impulse a stressed out person, in such a situation, might understandably have.
So, look it, I apologize for offending you. Not my intention. And, if you can show me an org that's doing real work for real families, I will revise my opinion accordingly. But, until then, my opinion is going to be that these groups are exploitative and have an agenda that's got nothing to do with getting anyone's family real help.
portalbe2 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:57:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't the lack of programs be a sufficient reason to get involved?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is. Which is why I do that. Interestingly, it's organizations that started out primarily to help low income women that actually seem to give these men the most useful aid. Strangely men's rights organizations do not seem to give actual material aid to actual men and their families. I invite anyone to show me that I am mistaken.
gokuudo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:52 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not that i know a lot on the subject of MRA aid material, but in their defense, i don't see feminist organizations bending over backwards to help men, and they receive millions each year from the government. Would you advise someone not to be a feminist?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:16 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TLDR: I think men are people too and therefore advise against aligning with misandrist groups. MRA groups don't seem to materially help men and promote misogyny. There are many gender based groups that get federal funds. Feminist organizations do help men (now more than ever) but it's not their focus.
And, ya know what? There are Radical Feminists who are down with that. I am wholly vocally opposed to that stuff too. Generally speaking, I think we are all human beings with value and therefore worthy of basic dignity and respect. I am opposed to anything that involves denying people their basic humanity on the basis of their gender.
It depends on what you mean. There are couple of things, many feminist organizations have historically worked to help men. But, specifically helping men has never been their focus. Given everything, I don't think it's reasonable to expect that they would "bend over backwards". But, the focus, for many groups, is also changing. Because the dialog regarding Humanism as it involves Feminism is changing.
There are real service gaps, with US government institutions, regarding disenfranchised men and their families. And, these gaps have dire consequences for men in need. And, how feminists groups approach this is changing. For example, there are at least three legal aid places, in Dallas, that were originally dedicated to poor single mothers that now work with all single parents.
Honestly, the best you can say for MRA groups is that some of them initially encourage a form of personal self improvement, personal esteem development, and self valuation. That type of frame is frankly something that could be beneficial to all humans. That's just great until they tack on the "All women are mindless, money grubbing, skanks" under the guise of evolutionary biology. Also, some the high/low value rhetoric is quite toxic. Afterall, we all can't be our ubermench selves.
MRA groups, to my knowledge, don't materially help men in need, they don't lobby for things that help and effect all men, at best they provide a support system. (Which I think is awesome until you include the lady hate)
At the end of the day, the people fighting some key MRA issues (like male circumcision) are largely feminists and people who embrace feminist ideas. To my knowledge, there's no MRA group working on stuff like that in a substantive way. The best I can say is there is that there are half a dozen very small groups that advocate shared parenting as a default. Surprisingly, many feminists organizations are actively for this too.
But, as I said a couple of times elsewhere, feel free to show me I am wrong. I'd love it if MRA groups were actively working on stuff like this. Seriously.
So do many of organizations that are male only or who focus on primarily male issues. The Boy Scouts are a fine example of that. There are many others. Also, there are many MRA orgs that have tax exempt status. Just so you know. It's not as if there's a lack money being spent on organizations for men and boys. Where and how government money is spent could be up for some debate though.
Baschi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:28:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh? Did you just imply men's rights are not worth fighting for? Or am I out of the loop on some dumb meme?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No you are out of the loop. Honestly, how anyone gets misandry from my comments is beyond me. Here This is about as neutral as it gets.
FWIW I like men and support basic gender equality, when possible. This means that I am absolutely for men getting equal rights, under the law, and access to social aid resources too.
DTyrrellWPG ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:35:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was just having this conversation with a friend. Dad's can be deadbeats and avoided in life, but moms are never bad people! She's your mom, blah blah.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:31:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Then she should've acted like a mom in the first place"
averymadison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES.
PixelLight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:22:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get something similar. About how she's my mum, I should love her etc etc. She did bring me up but she was also a poisonous influence that emotionally neglected and crippled me, even abused. I want to see her as little as possible. And yet I get made to feel guilty for not having a good relationship with her. For not loving her. And the ironic thing is I would love her but she never showed any love or affection to me herself and doesn't acknowledge that either.
Emm03 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:29:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is still happily married to my dad and pretty involved in my life, but she just doesn't get me the same way my dad does, and she never has. I love her, but my dad is my best friend and the person who I can talk to about anything and anti-dad stuff drives me crazy too.
Ozocubu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking this. I get so sick of hearing that kind of bullshit. Yeah, sure, I should try to fix things with my mother. My sociopathic mother who would slap me in the bathtub unprovoked and moved away when I was 4. Maybe while I'm at it fix things with my drug-addict waste of flesh father, too, but I guess that one gets a pass because it's more socially acceptable to have an awful father than an awful mother. Gets really annoying to have to explain my life story to every one of these shits.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that "every girl needs her mom" shit. Every girl needs a strong role model, but that role model doesn't have to be female and doesn't have to be a mom.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have seen this before, with several of my friends. Go with that feeling of "NOPE" - from what I have seen you will honestly wind up regretting it less than if you try and work it out.
NehEma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:19:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
HeyChaseMyDragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just wanted to say, I had to double take, did I write this comment? I did not but same stuff happened to me. I still feel guilty cause she's my mom though.
cactuscat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's sad but not everyone gets a good relationship with both parents. You'd think people with deadbeat dads would understand at least.
SoGodDangTired ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:19 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For the majority of my life I got along better with my mom than my dad, but following my parents divorce and about a year before I started getting along way better with my dad because was always genuine. He was who he was and never acted like he was anything but, meanwhile my mom acted like a teenager but got mad when it was implied she was anything but an adult. I was sixteen when they got divorced (they actually work me up having their first argument about divorce the night after my birthday), but my mom told my dad I was staying with her. So I only saw him on Saturdays for a while, and it hurt a lot. Especially because I had to balance me learning to drive when I was with him and him seeing my niece.
He was always a happy family man. The divorce probably hit him harder than anyone. But he was the best dad I could of asked for.
VampireSurgeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Every girl needs her mom".
When my dad moved away, we got him a little book called "Why A Daughter Needs A Dad".
My dad fucks up sometimes, but he's not as bad as some moms (and other dads) I've seen. I'm sorry people pull that shit with you.
Dark-Ganon ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:44:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And im sure youve gotten the other annoying response sometimes as well..."oh, giving mom a break today?" Why do people still assume moms do all the childcaring
Merlord ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:49:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They need to make a Sitcom about a modern family. It'll never happen though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Merlord ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:44:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, a modern family. Like a sitcom with different kinds of families that reflect modern progressive culture. Maybe it would have a gay couple with kids, or an old white guy married to, I dunno, a hot Spanish lady or something. It'll never happen though, not in a million years.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Merlord ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:54:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not in a million years I say! Why oh why can't society learn to represent family in a modern fashion!?! Oh, woe is me, if only there were a sitcom about modern families, I would be content... But alas, I must continue to endure endless comedy TV series espousing traditional marriage structures and outdated stereotypes!
kstewart2012 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:55:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Woosh
SoldToBears ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:01:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Psst. Hey. Over here.
That's the joke.
cookie75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wooosh.
kanuck84 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:00:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do yourself a favour and go watch season one of Up all Night. Hella funny sitcom, and went against a bunch of stereotypes: mom (Christina Applegate) goes back to work for her talk show host BFF (Maya Rudolph), while dad (Will Arnett) chooses to leave his law practice to stay at home to raise their newborn. The first season was hilarious and it was nice to see a show that bucked the lazy trend of most sitcoms.
anormalgeek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:43:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am not Homer fucking Simpson. I am not Ray Barone, I am not Tim Taylor. It was wrong for TV shows back in the 60s and 70s to show most women as dumb blondes who were only on screen to look pretty, and this shit is wrong now.
JMT97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tim Taylor was awesome, tho.
liber_nihilus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:43:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When feminists talk about dismantling gender roles, this is a perfect example of what they mean by "men can benefit from feminism too."
And I'm talking about the actual, progressive egalitarian-feminists; not the knee-jerk men hating feminazis. There's a big difference there.
avenues_behind ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 06:57:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not that big a difference. There's a progressive egalitarian movement that's existed for decades called humanism. Yet for some reason you stick with the one with a sexist name and keep insisting it's about egalitarianism.
Feminism does not now nor has it ever been about egalitarianism. It has always been about ending the oppression of women and gaining women the same opportunities men have. There are benefits to men as we get closer as a society to reaching those goals, but it is not and never had been about making things better for men.
When women couldn't vote or own property, feminism had a place. Now that women in the West have gained so much ground, we're long past the point where it's time to start eliminating female privilege or the playing will never be truly leveled.
And that's what aggravates me so much about this absurd idea that feminism is about helping men. Feminism does nothing to help men. No legislation, no protests, no funding, nothing. Just feel good thoughts and a stern insistence that feminism is about equality with nothing substantive to back it up.
liber_nihilus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dismantling of gender roles is the benefit I was pointing out which you deliberately ignored.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:37:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dude, this existed well before mass media and sitcoms. it's existed since basically the beginning of recorded history. women have ALWAYS been the ones to "take care of the kids". it's unheard of in many cultures, even to this DAY, for men to be a part of their children's lives when they are younger. my ex-boyfriends parents had 7 children (a lot, considering they were born between 1986 - 2000) and his father has NEVER in his LIFE changed a single diaper. ever. and my ex-boyfriend doesn't think that this is strange.
strib666 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:47:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good call.
GingerHero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Widower. Ditto.
AManNamedTrip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought the media was the most to blame for this, but I've been living in the suburbs for a few years and have been so surprised at how many suburban mom's I meet seem to just drool over the fact that I'm a dad that interacts with my children. I've heard friends of my wife lament that their husband won't even take the kids out of the house without the wife, none-the-less show up for dance recitals or sports games, or little kid birthday parties. It seems to be an epidemic.
I don't get it. Do these dads not realize that this is their child growing up and if they miss it they can't get a redo. Oh, and the kid will probably grow up to hate the dad for not doing anything with them.
GoAViking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The so-called parenting magazines as well. Damn near every article geared towards "parents", specifically mention Mom, Mommy or Mother. As a father of two, it's infuriating to see things like that.
SeriousGravy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And fuck "mom 2 mom sales". Like seriously, can't a single father get some recognition?
digitaldeadstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say the media is to blame, necessarily. It's just decades, if not centuries, of traditional living. For a long time the dad was the breadwinner and the wife raised the kids/upkeeps the house. It's not even that old of a notion - I'd say the tail end of the 20th century is when it started to change dramatically. There are still a lot of people who follow it, but with each subsequent generation, it's falling to the wayside.
Even recently I've watched it change over time. I spent the last 11 years doing retail. When I first started, it was rather uncommon to see just a dad with a child or even wife and husband with child. Over the years, I started seeing more and more men involved with their children. Obviously anecdotal, but I thought it was an interesting observation.
That aside, I get where you're coming from. I'm not divorced, but I do take my son out alone sometimes and get all sorts of comments or weird looks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sit-coms and Madison Ave. The advertising world can kiss my Neanderthal ass.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, Chuck Lorre.
Fucking assholish sitcoms make me mad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't watch shitty TV.
Bach-Bach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sit-coms are the worst about that stuff. Watching all the shitty sit-cons through the 80's when they really got going with formulaic plots. As an adult I had to retrain myself how to feel and act. For years I assumed I was supposed to be like the people on those shows. It's created this social norm where people say things or act as characters on sit-coms. One of the worst for mother father husband wife roles was Home Improvement. I loved the show dearly but realized later that it totally generalized male and female gender roles. Some kids were raised by the television during this era and it's created a generation of people who think that's the only kind of humor there is.
Methatrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's so much easier to write characters with a rubber stamp!
rubyred138 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i grew up with my dad who was a single parent after my mom left. she didnt request visitation or shared custody so i hardly ever saw her. my dad did everything, he was even my co-leader for my girl scout troop. he used to get so pissed off at girl scout events when ladies acted like he had no right to be there cause he was a man or surprised that he was so involved in my life. i hope when i have kids i can be as great as a parent as he was!
hvidgaard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My oldest needed to have weekly blood tests done for the first few months of his life. I took the trip to the hospital every time.
I was at university at the time, so apart from lectures I structured my own time. Of course I would jump at the opportunity to give my wife some rest, if only for a short while. Every fucking time a nurse would either sound surprised or compliment me - it's my child, why is it surprising or worth a compliment that the dad is partaking in the responsibilities?
meinator ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:40:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you are right and this can be said about many any things. The media is out to divide us and stir the pot so it can produce click bait news.
Macbeth998 ยท 427 points ยท Posted at 22:40:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The cable guy said that to me last week. I wanted to smack him in the face. Not only have I been perfectly comfortable being alone with my kids since they were born, but their mother died three months ago, so thanks for the unwelcome reminder of what we've lost. I'm all they've got. Fuck that guy.
starsandfrost ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 00:25:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Juststumblinaround ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 02:51:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really don't think a comment like that is malicious. It's just ignorant and outdated.
Maybe just let that one go.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 04:57:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hanlon's razor.
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Sq33KER ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 05:01:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Steve's razor. Where are occam and Hanlon buying their razors. Mine just shaves.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:59:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for your loss. :(
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:44:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for your loss man, hope everything is going okay.
Aethyos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry. How are you and your children holding up?
marcusklaas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sucks to hear that but surely he didn't know about your situation and probably meant no harm. Give the guy a break.
PM_MeYourBBW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:57:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Comcast..
me_is_back ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah dude; that sucks.
Shanerion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My god... I'm so sorry to hear that.
Zidlijan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so so sorry man I wish you all the well and fuck that asshole
you3337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed, guy sounds like a dick. Hang in there, Mac B.
windclimber ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 06:00:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, fuck that guy for making small talk and deliberately reminding you of your late wife. What a malicious fuck
I shouldn't need to, but it's reddit after all, so /s
exonwarrior ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:11:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can make small talk without implying that he's not actually being a parent.
izzy_ness ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 21:54:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work on Saturdays and my husband is home with our daughter. When I tell people this I get the strangest looks. Someone even asked once if he minded looking after her for the day. I, all smiles, said "Oh he's very modern. He even changes nappies."
BrainBurrito ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:58:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a feeling if someone referred to a working mom as "Mrs. Dad", they would be pretty offended.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:40:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Twitter would explode.
Senuf ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention Tumblr.
majik655 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:30:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you. I get the same thing because I do shopping and cook dinner, dishes, etc etc. My wife gets home around 6-630 a tad late for us to start dinner. Why not just have dinner ready? I leave for work at 4am so I get off earlier. I also do not have the morning ritual that a parent goes through for themselves and for the child to get ready. You are right it's parenting and teamwork.
patrickpdk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:18:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, dad's are competent parents too
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:41:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Nah. Unlike shitty parents like you who treat parenting like it's some shitty division of labour, I'm just doing my best to be as supportive and available to my kid as I can. Thanks, though!"
Eaders ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:06:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is beautiful.
stargazercmc ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:03:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband is a stay at home dad. Awesome dads cannot be praised enough.
5states1life ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:51:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly would love to be a stay at home Dad
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did it for a couple of months while between jobs. My wife went and did substitute teaching and I stayed home with the three year old and picked up the six year old school on our bikes.
Leaving aside the stress of unemployment, and that I wasn't as expert in the role as my wife with her years of experience, and yes I'm aware that it's a role that can have a big impact over time.... All that aside, those two months remain my favorite adult memory.
Nothing compares to being with your family in a meaningful way - I would rather be there at home for my kids than be out here in the world for my kids.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:28:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you should get a tattoo that says that
justsomeguyorgal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:06:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen brother.
ItAintEasyBeinJeezy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:48:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's woman's work" -Cotton Hill
xskittlezx97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This hasn't been upvoted enough...
DadJokesFTW ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:24:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've come so close to a screaming, ranting, cursing rage at this kind of thing. No, you stupid bitch, I'm not doing the "Mr. Mom thing." I'm fucking taking care of my fucking kids, who live with me because I love them and the ex-Mrs. Mom is a useless fucking waste of space. I take care of these fucking kids day by day by day. So fuck you.
nickcarter13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I loved that, thanks dude
holycrapple ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you seen Dadholes?
OyeYouDer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eeeesh buckaroo! Maybe peeps just like Michael Keaton flicks? Decrease the heat of thine bosoms, fellow dad! Ain't worth getting upset over, when you've likely got some mess needs cleaning this moment anyway. Get yet ass off Reddit, go match some ridiculously small socks, read something a story, and then go enjoy a beer, (or whatever it is you use to quiet the demons), and relax, mi amigo! You get to do it all over again tomorrow... And the next day... And the next.... And the next after that...
... Until you die!
sadman81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ok Louis CK settle down
Colin_Kaepnodick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yo fellow dad. Can you hook up a /r/stayathomedaddit shoutout as an edit? Try to get that sub some action? That would be awesome.
amsterdam_BTS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:49:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would but I am not a stay at home Dad. I do all this stuff after work. Sometimes during work if I'm able to work from home.
Chumbolex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try doing that while black. I get the Mr. Mom thing from black people, and white people give me the "if only more black me were like you..." uuuggghhh... just leave me and my son alone, dick head.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont know i like the word Mr. Mom. It gives me a title outside of stay at home dad.
Mortimer1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's because I was JUST watching it, but I'm just picturing Sergeant Terry from Brooklyn Nine Nine right now.
zedgrrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The 80's called,....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think of someone told me I'm doing the " Mr. Mom thing" for spending time with my kids, I'd punch them.
battraman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. I'm going to be a Dad soon so I'm trying to get used to how people (not my wife, obviously) are already minimizing me and my future role. Any advice on what to say to these people instead of my usual standby: "Eat shit and die!"
amsterdam_BTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:43 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell them that you are going to be an active parent. They'll probably smile and nod. Then show them. Ultimately it really doesn't matter what they think...the kid is what's important. Congratulations, by the way!
VAPossum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You rock.
LetSlipTheDogesOfWar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, "oh, looks like dad's babysitting! Giving mom the day off, huh?"
No, in just being Dad. We needed more groceries, I had the day off, mom is at work, and my 1.5-y-o loves to go grocery shopping.
AnneofSeoul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RESPEKT
NeverEndingScrewTape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you feel somewhat guilty about letting the mother do the lion's share of earning? Is there not some nagging voice of instinct telling you it's your job to provide for your family? The traditional role of male provider isn't as outdated as you'd like to imagine.
amsterdam_BTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mother does not work. I do. Separately - wtf is it with the "lion's share" thing? Lions don't work a lot. They mostly nap.
2ndcousinstavros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think Mr Mom is a great movie. It's Michael Keaton at his finest.
jacq_willow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the opposite light, "I'm baby sitting." When referring to their own kids.
DMercenary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly now I want some kind of pro-wrestler called Mr. Mom.
"YEAH! You think taking care of your child is emasculating? Well say hello to the power of this Elbow drop! Forming a bond with your child is the most powerful thing in this world, son!"
falcoperegrinus82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I do alpha dad shit."
exzyle2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about making grilled cheese with the iron? If you've done that, then you truly are doing the Mr. Mom thing. Because that movie is great.
theblackhand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And stop telling me I'm so brave at the grocery store. There are only two of them, I think I can handle it granny.
sendheracard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Juist!
amsterdam_BTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:04 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ik heb dit net gezein. Hallo, Nederlander!
illdoitnextweek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been getting really frustrated with my daycare recently. My husband does drop off and he should have been doing some things he wasn't like marking our youngest's last meal time and what time she woke up. Or writing down our oldest's food items for lunch. THEY NEVER TOLD HIM THE PROCESS. Ever. Not even the first day. Not either set of teachers. When I dropped them off one morning and noticed the weekly sheet for this information was blank, I apologized to both classroom teachers. BOTH said, oh the dads never do it, so we don't mind.
No, idiots, he isn't doing it because you never told him the expectation so he can't meet it. He isn't dumb or incapable. He may be forgetful but he is a totally competent parent. Makes me angry.
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this! I am a stay at home mom and people can be very judgmental. I imagine it is much worse for you and that's a damn shame. My husband and I switch off nights. Our kids are 2.5 and 13 months. The 13 month old is teething and still wakes up some nights. Also, we let the other get an extra little bit of sleep in the morning. It makes it so we are both getting some rest.
So many friends can't believe this because their husbands do nothing. My husband takes the kids out without me sometimes and I hate when people call it babysitting. No. It isn't babysitting. They are his kids too! I expect him to take and equal share when he is home. It will.never be 50/50 since I am home with them, and it doesn't have to be. When he is home I do expect him to be a good coparent, help with the kids, etc. I can't imagine having kids with someone who didn't want to be an active participatant in his kids' lives. We also discussed this before having kids.
NameIsInigoMontonya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YO MAN CALM DOWN U MAD
EsotericAlphanumeric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you might be on a list.
Just looking out for you, bro.
amsterdam_BTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit. Got that fixed now. My next post might be on Tifu...
Skaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who use the phrase "babysitting" when taking care of their OWN kid....noo that is called "parenting"
WastedKnowledge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the next reddit
"Nobody acknowledges me for the hard work I put in to make sure my kid has a good childhood without facing outdated stereotypes."
jHOFER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was that paraphrased or do people constantly ramble to you.
BBTiffiD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do people ever ask you if you're babysitting your own children? Like you don't actually raise them?
moridin333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was fucking beautiful.
just4youuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So what do you say in response?
Notmyrealname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, you're doing Mrs. Dad stuff?"
Thunderjugs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand it when people say my husband is babysitting our kid. No, he's at home with his daughter doing parent shit.
ToiletShoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am having something nearly identical to this printed on to a t-shirt. Thank you for your shares sentiment.
Flalaski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For a minute there, I thought you were my brother. Great comment!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck with that man, being a single parent must be tough.
amsterdam_BTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a single parent. Just a fairly active one.
ItMightGetBeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't even go to the park for me. I'd have stayed home, but the rugrats needed to get out of the house play. Doing things that any parent should do doesn't make me an exceptional Dad, makes me a parent that puts my kids first like any parent should. I hear about too many guys that put everything off on the wife because she's the wife, that's just wrong.
kontankarite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine you slowly cornering the person between a bathroom wall and those two trashcans as you stare them down and inch ever closer into their comfort zone. You're probably taller than them too.
haberstachery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm out with the little one I get the, "giving mom a break today?"
No actually I'm a single dad of 3.
Ceejae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, so is this person just trying to be friendly?
Chazbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I feel yah. Used to think it was cute being called Mr. Mom or a Mother-Father, but now it feels a bit short sited and insulting...
Level21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell you what though.... nothing gets thous single moms wet like dropping off and picking up that little one everyday. I swear on it, having a child gets women crazier than any dog could.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this.
errantapostrophe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god I hate this. When my kids were little if I went out without them, someone would inevitably ask if my husband was babysitting for me. Well, no. It's not babysitting if they are your own kids. My mother in law was the worst with this.
nepharis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People... actually say that? Like, out loud? And you aren't allowed to shoot them afterwards?
Mardred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is beutiful and badass at the same time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like an amazing parent.
artemisjade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of love you for this. I mean, it's a classic 'patriarchy hurts everyone' situation. But as an involuntary SAHM who wants to punch herself in the face every time someone asks if I'm loving it, I just love that you are content and happy with your dad time.
Urschleim_in_Silicon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking THANK YOU. Jesus Christ I'm sick of this shit. I'm also sick of being looked at like a fucking pedophile because I end up playing with someone else's kid. Listen fuckwhore, get off of the fucking bench and off of your phone and actually PLAY with your kid at the park instead of just dragging them here and expecting them to play with themselves, and then MAYBE they won't glue themselves to my ass because they see me and my kid having fun playing Ninja Turtles and want to have fun playing it too. I don't mind them joining in and having fun, but keep your shitty fucking looks to yourself. Why not come over and actually, I don't fucking know, have a conversation with me, tell me your name, I'll tell you mine, we can trade stories about shitty diapers and the cost of daycare. No? Oh fucking fine then, go ahead and sit your fat ass on that bench and just keep tapping away at your fucking phone. Yeah, Candy Crush is that fucking important. God damn it.
Motherf... This shit chaps my ass.
SIlentguardian11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I... I Love You....
Worstpersonalivern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The sad thing is, my husband refers to himself being home with our son as "babysitting." I really hate it. :(
Lutya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a work trip when my son was 11 months old. Everyone kept offering to watch my son for me or ask who was going to watch him while I was away. Umm... his DAD is going to watch him. Did you forget he exists or something?!?!
JayLime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought your whole post was what you hated. Like its some copy pasta that angers you or something
megafartcloud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I hope you are divorced
StumpyMcPhuquerson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are fighting the fight for all us true dads. Godspeed you magnificent parent.
HiddenA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is it that doing the dishes is considered parent stuff at all?! Can someone tell my roommates that everyone has to do that shit?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stay at home dad, here. Brother, if you were nearby I'd buy you a beer.
Hashtaglibertarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying you're wrong but at the same time women are stereotyped in this exact same way. As a woman I'm expected to work 40 hours a week, clean the house, cook dinner, take care of everything involving kids. Then if I'm a stay at home mom I'm judged by working mothers and other stay at home moms because I don't make cutesy fucking crafts or contribute to the house financially. If I work I'm also judged for choosing a career and not sitting at home for 18 years to raise my kids. It's never ending.
As a nurse I was judged for never wanting to be a labor and delivery nurse. Heaven forbid I don't want to be stuck in vag all day. I'd be much happier on traumas and stemis thank you very much.
The point is women are very judgmental, society stereotypes, and nobody gives a fuck. To get upset about it is pointless.
Gotitaila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel burned and I wasn't even part of this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. Thank you so much. I will commit this to memory.
tomeitsmoar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holyshit, I was talking to a girl the other day (both of us have kids), and when I was telling her how much time I spent with my kids, and how much their mother isn't too involved, she says "Oh so she's like the dad and you're the mom". I couldn't help but to think WHAT THE FUCK...
I'm not their fucking mom. I'm their dad. I have been for their whole life. I don't do mom shit with them, I don't even know what that means. I do dad things, and they probably shouldn't even be considered dad things, they're just parent things. I love my kids more than anything good in this world, and quite frankly, I don't even like kids, but I like my kids. They're hilarious, and they're mine. I just want them to have a great life, with a great childhood. My dad wasn't around much when I was a kid, so I've always sworn to be the greatest father in the world. Mom things, wtf...I got annoyed as fuck when she said that. I wasn't even sure if I was a legitimate reason to be, I'm glad I read your comment to find I'm not the only one who has felt this way.
Southpawe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're a good dad. Who cares what those kinds of people think?
You're doing a great job and thats good on you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assisted watching our 3 boys at my sister in laws wedding the other week.
Basically, just hung out with my sons and kept them out of my wife's hair as she helped prep the site for the event.
I have not received SO many compliments on "how great a dad" I was in just those few days before. Literally about 2 dozen women just AMAZED that I watched my boys and how wonderful I was for doing it. I asked my wife afterwards if she felt weird about the compliments and she agreed, after all no one complimented her for doing the same exact thing each and every day.
But yeah, I AM pretty awesome, so there's that...
MarkSampson10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow.. Still pissed off about it huh..??
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My life is dope and I do dad shit."
gitykinz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go:
"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reactions like this are why adults find it difficult to just make friends. If another guy says that to you at the park he's probably just making small talk. He's probably a nice guy and understands the complex relationship of being a man and a parent. You can chill out for a second and acknowledge that before you need to make some big tirade.
PutItOn-MyTab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone get this guy a tampon
minischofy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Legit? Are you that overly sensitive? Who the hell even cares?
NehEma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So. Much. HATRED!!! q
kuroninjaofshadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only someone who truly loves their kid could write this shit. Lucky kid.
furtivepigmyso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like a bit of a dick way to respond to someone that was just trying to be friendly.
Blipblipbloop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was the stay at home parent when I was younger and he got that all the time. I always wanted to find one of those things you hang from the rear view mirror that said "Dad's Taxi" because he always drove is kids around. Never could find one that didn't say "Mom's Taxi" though.
wrsrule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How much money do you make caming to the park?
amsterdam_BTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
None. I make money by going to work. I work extremely hard and efficiently so I can get home in time to take him to the park. Sometimes I work from home. As for how much I make from my job, it's not enough.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Classic Mr. Mom
Spambop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. I know Americans are supposed to be comfortable with striking up conversations with strangers, but are they usually this nosey?
fosterwallacejr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Annnnnd I finally have a comparison to give when Reddit doesnt understand micro-aggressions
tumblewiid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit "Mr. Mom"? Where the fuck did that come from?? I have never heard of it.
Hazelstone37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When my kids were very young, I sat on a couple of boards that met at night. All the ladies would ask if my husband was babysitting and I always just said, no he just parenting tonight.
ivanoski-007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here you can buy a tshirt to commemorate your dad status.
amsterdam_BTS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is glorious.
[deleted] ยท 450 points ยท Posted at 15:58:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a bitch, I just don't sugarcoat things."
Yeah, no. If people are calling you a bitch often enough that you feel the need to tell everybody you meet that you aren't one, then you probably are one.
Bitch_Cassidy ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:34:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, "I don't have a filter."
No, you just get off on peoples' reaction to your saying tactless shit.
Crypt0Nihilist ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:01:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't have a filter? Is that a disability? Would you like us to tell you when you're being a tactless shit or wait for you to leave the room?"
I know someone who genuinely doesn't seem to have a filter. It's massively damaging to her personally and professionally, but that same blindness that stops her from self-censoring also makes her miss the fact that she doesn't get opportunities other do.
thebloodofthematador ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:33:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also know this person, except he doesn't think he should have to use whatever filter he has (if he does, in fact, have one), because that would make him somehow not-genuine, and he thinks people should like him for who he is. And while that's not wrong, he just seems to think that if he doesn't say whatever he's thinking, regardless of context or appropriateness, he's being "fake" just to please people who apparently don't really truly like him. We've tried to have a talk with him about it but he takes it so fucking personally that it really isn't worth it. So we just don't hang out with him anymore.
Encyclopedia_Tom ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:11:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that is like the inverse of what Tywin Lannister said. "Any man who must say 'I am the king.' is no true king."
If you have to tell someone you aren't a bitch, then... well.... you're probably a bitch.
Jules_Noctambule ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:48:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brain always translates that phrase and all like it into 'I am incapable of stifling my own self-satisfaction long enough to consider the feelings of others' and I immediately stop listening to whatever else it is they have to say.
street_philatelist ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:59:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honesty without compassion is just subtle hostility.
plus4dbu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:33:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maturity is evident when one can be both direct and tactful
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing wrong with being blunt, as long as you realize that some people will take things the wrong way sometimes. But, I mean, if you're at least warning them before hand that you're blunt, it doesn't sound that bad. What really annoys me is the person who's constantly giving you advice that you didn't ask for, especially when it's insulting advice, and then acting like you're too sensitive for getting offended.
mrhelton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me, "yeah, no" definitely belongs on this list.
acertaingestault ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a bitch, I'm just really blunt/honest." If that honesty is consistently hurtful to others, then you may well be a bitch.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is code for "I like to be mean to people, but don't want anyone to think I'm a bad person"
emergency_blanket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"not afraid to speak my mind"
mdflmn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That goes with the opposite also. Telling me youre a bitch or asshole, only proves to me your insecurity that your trying to hide behind utter bullshit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In other words the bitch is sugarcoating she's not a bitch.
rsashe1980 ยท 1979 points ยท Posted at 15:39:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"How can you tell me I don't love my kids?" When the kids have been horribly neglected or turned into monsters due to shitty parenting.
peekykeen ยท 776 points ยท Posted at 19:52:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Love" is a complicated thing. You can "love" somebody and not realize you're messing them up. I think some people don't understand that love often involves putting other people before yourself.
ha11ey ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 20:58:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They also might just be stupid. They very well might think they are doing what is best for their kid. They sincerely love their kid, and that's why the kid had to be chained up like a dog outside.... how else will he learn manners?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:19:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, meth.
ZombyTed ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:39:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Normal love does not involve keeping children in a kennel.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:31:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only normal one is Jack-Jack, and he's not even toilet trained.
Also, meth.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:45:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
PamPooveyIsTheTits ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:59:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"... They just couldn't turn that love into a proper home." That is a devastating statement.
BreckensMama ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:54:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is so true. Feelings of affection and attachment aren't the only part of love that matter. Love is an action as well as an emotion. To love requires self sacrifice.
Cleverbeans ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:13:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm on the psych ward again, it's been about 2 months and I get to know this schizophrenic. She's about my age and dumb as a hammer, like brain injury dumb. About every two weeks she hallucinates that she is pregnant, has the baby, then the baby is murdered by her family. Same thing every two weeks.
So she's a smoker heads out one day, like normal on one of her breaks. She's basically in hospital waiting for group home placement. Well she doesn't come back. Just gone one day, walked off. Apparent this happens sometimes and they call a code. No sign of her.
About a week later she's back. She's got new lipstick, and she's showing off her cleavage. I asked her where she was she said "I got high, I got drunk, and I got LAID." She smirked, happy and fulfilled.
I don't think she had a fucking clue what she was doing, what the consequences of her actions could be. She couldn't even care for herself, but there it was this fantasy of being a mother and the sex she needed to make it come true. It just made me lose faith you know?
But when you saw her, beaming after she thought she had a new baby, when she was hallucinating you could see it - the love. She was so proud, showing off her imaginary baby. I'd get sad knowing what was coming. Love can fuck you up.
Mynameisspam1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck. You made me cry, did she ever get her schizophrenia under control?
Cleverbeans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:02:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was there 60 days, she was there with me from the first day I left my room and I saw no significant improvement while she was there. She was happy almost all the time, about 6 days a month of weeping and the rest in sort of a delusional happiness. She was content most of the time and I think that was a better place for her than over-sedation. One time while she was crying I asked if she knew it wasn't real, and she said she did and kept crying for a while. That gives me some comfort.
Mynameisspam1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:55:17 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's good I guess. Hopefully she'll continue making progress or at least doesn't get worse.
Captain_English ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:25:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish people would realise this about patriotism.
I love my country, so it doesn't get a free fucking pass. It's got to live up to high standards and if that means chastising it when we head in the wrong direction, that's exactly what we should do. Don't give me that 'It's unpatriotic' bullshit. This country was built by people who cared enough to make tough decisions and endure hardships for their goals, not barter and compromise their principles. Love is naive, spineless forgiveness. It's wanting the best for someone or something.
runetrantor ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:24:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you love someone, let them go.
If someone is hurting you, let them go.
Basically, just tell everyone to GTFO, be alone forever. It's healthier for everyone. :P
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:41:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad thinks parental love means saying 'I love you' at the end of every phone call. My mum knows that parental love is a long series of invoices.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you too. Now when are you going to pay me back you little rat bastard?"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:36:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love is what you do not what you feel.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's both.
psychologConcent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also love and in love would be considered different as well.
trekkie80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hmmm.
"Parenting 101" should a mandatory course for people
to get marriedto conceive children.You could
saythreaten that they could be (in theory) refused medical assistance in pregnancy if they don't complete the course - they sure as hell know by the 5th month that they are pregnant, right?The course should be of 3 months - 2-3 days a week.
Child psychologists / therapists should teach these.
This is one place I would say that America should spend $5 bn less on bombs and guns and put this system in place to fix those parents who are able to change. There are many who cannot be fixed but the course could prevent basic disasters like gullibly believing "vaccines cause autism" etc.
jyb5394 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love is my mom spanking me to teach me a lesson and watching me cry and hate her. Then 14 YEARS later finally get my thank you for not letting me be a brat.
BustyMonsterTruck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the number one reason for divorce. We're selfish.
Autocoprophage ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:48:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even believe that this is true. I think that if you actually love somebody, you will necessarily be attentive to their needs and will necessarily inhibit the elements of your person that do them harm. You might say: but what if I'm incapable? What if it's just too hard? But I say: bitch, how could you possibly love them if you don't specifically want to do those things? And how could you not develop the aptitude if you actually do the work? It's ridiculous!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:05:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mental illness fucking sucks - that's how.
Seriously, most of the shitty parenting I have seen is 1) unexamined thoughtlessness. or 2) people who need crazy pills. The upside of thoughtless parenting is that it usually doesn't involve CPS. But, pretty much anything that involves CPS is someone needing and, for whatever reason, not having the proper crazy pills.
Autocoprophage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure it would be more comfortable to tell yourself that this mental health case is actually a loving person who just needs some crazy pills, but I just don't believe it. To me, the ability to love is a byproduct of psychological maturity and not everyone can do it from the position they're in, whereas most instances of being debilitated by mental health issues are a byproduct of psychological immaturity and are fundamentally incompatible with that maturity.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:11:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We can agree to disagree!
Look, I am not saying every person with destructive mental illness is a loving person inside. From my point of view, the feeling we call "love' is basic to being a mammal. That's a pretty low bar. So, in my world, pretty much everyone is capable of love. (and everyone needs it). I would call what you're talking about "substantive nurturing" and I agree not everyone is capable of that.
Also, my take on mental illness is drastically different than yours. But, in any event, it was just my .02 on why that stuff happens. Cheers.
CreepTheNet ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no. they know damn well they're screwing them up. They either just don't care or are too lazy to do it the right way.
LetMeGDPostAlready ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:09:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love is a verb, bro. Is it a loving action to let your kid get morbidly obese before they can drive? To those people, I would say, no, your kid is important to you, but you don't love them because you don't fucking know how.
theultimatenick ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:17:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a social worker, this one drives me crazy. The common (internal) response is, "If that's how you love someone, I'd hate to see how you treat someone you hate."
brallipop ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:30:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy Jehovah, this attitude about pets!! I had one particular roommate who got a bulldog puppy. Took her a year to get him neutered. NEVER walked him. No discipline. Seldom fed him and rarely refreshed his water. Like any college kid, she left the house in the morning, had a full day then came home tired. Faithful dog always greeted her coming home. She would constantly completely ignore him, not even a "Hey buddy" or even touching him. Natch, he keeps getting in her face just to be acknowledged to the point where she blows up at him for wanting his owner to say hello!! Also, her bf had a cat and the litter went unchanged for weeks at a time.
The dog was so sweet and so smart and I would not ignore him being neglected right in my own house. Long story short I became proactive and took care of him, walks, baths, attention, play, new food so he would stop chewing himself. Eventually we have the talk where if I am going to keep playing the part of dog owner, I need to own the dog. At some point she drops the line, "I will never give up my pets. You may not think I am a good mother, but you're wrong. My pets are my children." Ooo, you ripe cunt, if your pets were children I would have called the cops on your sorry ass! Still makes my skin crawl. Thinking you like dogs in general doesn't mean you're a loving pet owner. You are already a neglect-erino, stop trying to save face.
A couple weeks later, after spending days on imgur looking a soft-focus photos of kittens in baskets, she and her bf went a got another cat. Still never changed the litter. And her last name on facebook was "Unique." Fuck. You.
candacebernhard ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:07:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is absolutely heartbreaking.. You probably bonded with him, too. Christ.
If you are still roommates, I'd document all that in case it becomes a civil case eg. abandonement, any landlord disputes over damages, or if it gets worse and you have to call a shelter, animal control &/or would like to take over their care - receipts, etc may come in handy.
Thank you for taking care of the pets because you love them - you are totally his parent & if she doesn't know it the little guy most definitely does.
brallipop ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:25:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you too. It feels so nice to read this. That was a real hard year emotionally and I learned some great things vicariously through her mistakes. She and her bf did break up, and she moved across the country. OF COURSE, she couldn't take the dog with her and gave him up. The exact thing she told me she would never do which is why I couldn't have him. The dog went to another former roommate of hers who really stepped up. I wasn't crazy about the roommate but I appreciate him.
GodofIrony ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:19:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bangorthebarbarian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel any better I remember hearing about a squad of Marines that had 'adopted' some puppies in Iraq. Upon redeployment, they realized the horrors these animals would face in the local culture. They decided to put them down, but none of them could do it. Hardened, combat Marines. One of them worked up the courage to finally do it with the nine mil, and shot each one in the head, as his soggy eyed mates watched on. You probably should have been that Marine.
brallipop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God, what are you doing to me right now
anonymatwork ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:23:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shouldn't it be the horrible neglect that made you hate them, not their stupid statement? :)
candacebernhard ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:56:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
exactly, love can be intention, it can be nurturing action, or it can simply mean 'this person fills x,y,z needs (fucked up or otherwise) i have.' that goes for most types of relationships.
ibbity ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:19:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like, if someone can look at the terrible terrible consequences of their shitty behavior and then throw a hissy fit that someone would take issue with said shitty behavior, then that hissy fit would make me hate the person even more. Because not only did they do the shit, they're offended that you would point out that the shit was done.
l2np ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:08:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They might still love their kids. They're just horrible at parenting.
Eshlau ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:00:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, along the same lines, parents who think that simply loving their children is enough and makes them great parents, regardless of how well they provide for, educate, and spend time with them.
It's like, if you don't have enough money to even care for yourself, if you are so busy that your child will have a 24-hour nanny, or if you think that dropping your kid off at school and then putting them in front of the TV the moment they get home until bedtime is the way to go, maybe don't have kids, regardless of how much you'll "love" them.
FuguofAnotherWorld ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:07:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You love your kids, I'm not disputing that. You're just bad at parenting."
amanitus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has to bite their tongue hearing addict parents in group therapy... yeah.
"My child is a miracle that has completely changed my life."
Yeah, you kept slamming heroin into your veins all throughout pregnancy and the courts haven't completely taken away your ability to see them. I'm glad that you made and are subjecting an innocent child to the chaos that is your life in order to make you feel better about yourself.
Hayasaka-chan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, you just described one of my older cousins. She has two boys who are thankfully being looked after their (while only slightly) better parent, their dad.
My cousin has zero custody of her children and is only allowed supervised visits at the father's permission. Why? Because she is meth'd out and fucked up.
She looks like a corpse (she is under 100lbs) and is constantly strung out. Yet most of her FB posts are talking about how awesome her boys are as if she is even remotely responsible for that. She sees them maybe twice a year and has to mail them their Christmas gifts. Infuriates the living hell out of me! /rant
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:38:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On that note.."My kid is such a monster!"
ibbity ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:21:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ha ha ha, isn't it cute how he hasn't stopped throwing a tantrum for the past 15 minutes? He sure does have his opinions! Omg, that smaller child just pushed him after he yanked her hair and stole her toy and stomped on her feet, time to go scream in her face and threaten her!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:49 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/sigh "its a cross we parents must bare."
TapirsAreNeat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:05:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call my kids monsters :( affectionately, mostly because one growls when we play hide and seek. And wants to eat my food all the time. And we had a small biting issue that we resolved. I don't love them any less for being toddlers, but toddlers default mode is "asshole" and it's your job to turn that little asshole into a functioning member of society. Along the way I think it's okay to be exasperated at times.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:32:46 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even so I would disagree with your line of thought, you're still conceding that you child is base instead of recognizing that he is a human just like you. He isn't an asshole just a human who doesn't know societal mores.
TapirsAreNeat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:37:33 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have kids? Do you really think I think my children are subhuman. Their brains don't work the same way as mine or yours and the stage I'm currently dealing with is a time of experimentation. Sometimes it's cute, "what will happen if I pour water onto my food." Sometimes it's destructive "what will happen if I smack my brother with this toy hammer" all of it is innocent, but it can be annoying and I guess I'm just not a good enough parent because I can roll my eyes to my partner and call my kid a monster when we've had a hard day.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:53:29 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rolling your eyes instead of teaching your kid and calling him a little monster-how cute he is acting badly-about it is exactly the definition of bad parenting. Of course their brain works differently. They don't know! They learn faster than adults though, and you forgo this so you can indulge yourself with an exasperated sigh and basically say its his fault.
TapirsAreNeat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:03:23 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not at all. I definitely correct things that need correcting and reward positive things. It doesn't mean that later on talking about it I can't roll my eyes or vent etc. Again, guessing you aren't a parent or sole caregiver of a small child. Being frustrated is part of the territory of being a parent. Unless you're a robot.
batork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying you don't love them, you just love shitheads.
Zackeezy116 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
holy fucking shit, my mom's cousin does this. She Now has to ask my Aunt if she can go see her daughter in the state home.
oi_rohe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that you don't love them, you don't care or provide for them.
ngroot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, the problem isn't that you don't love them, it's just that you're really bad at it...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By reading the DHR/DHS/CPS order of protection. That's how.
BitchesLoveCoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not saying you don't love them mam, I'm saying that the doctor has some concerns that you aren't feeding them properly and this woman for CPS is here to talk to you and them. No you may not leave the hospital at this time"
Yesthatstheone420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well when kids turn into little brats, its because of too lenient parenting. The kids get everything they want, then they dont get 1/10000000000 thing, they lose their minds, cry, scream, etc. Alot of parents' response is "okay you can have it."
This is caused by parents actually loving too much, and desiring to give their kid that perfect life where everything they want is within hands reach. When the kid throws a tantrum, its along the lines of "i hate you, you dont love me, etc" so a parents response to this will be along the lines of "oh my god, my baby hates me, they think i dont love them, i dont want them to feel that way, i have to give them what they want."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying you don't love your kids, I'm saying your a shit parent. That's what my response would be if I didn't want to get leaned against by an obese father defending his rascal-riding wife.
redacted187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the flip side: I genuinely do not love my children, but I'm making sure they have a pleasant upbringing and a bright future. I'm taking responsibility and doing what I must but there's nothing there emotionally.
JonnyLatte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Parents who think there is only a choice between hitting their kids and neglecting them...
Jamesiscoolest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like, as if the parenting physically mutated them?
rsashe1980 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The lack thereof or the worship of the child and the teaching that they are the sole meaning the entire universe was created...
[deleted] ยท 1779 points ยท Posted at 15:21:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who think they have mastered the art of 'negging' and that makes them irresistible to women. Usually starting with same cookie-cutter, "Your <Good quality> hides <Bad quality>" sort of comments.
detecting_nuttiness ยท 1143 points ยท Posted at 16:48:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I didn't know what you were talking about, so I checked what Urban Dictionary had to say about it.
it sounds awful.
EDIT: There's been a ton of responses stating different points of view, so here's what I've gathered. Because it's slang, there's not really one clear definition, but there seems to be two prevailing opinions on the definition:
A couple people have also mentioned PUAs and the D.E.N.N.I.S. System. Just thought I'd share what I found out about those things:
PUA stands for Pick-Up Artist, which is a term that has attained a pretty negative connotation in recent years.
Here's an opinion piece from a woman at the Guardian about pickup artists and
here's an article/interview with Neil Strauss, "one of the most famous and controversial PUA public figures" on AskMen.
They sort of give two different perspectives on the subject. Both seem to agree that being labeled a modern pickup artist is not really a positive term. I'm not really taking a stance either way, just trying to share the information I've found.
The D.E.N.N.I.S. System is from the sitcom It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Dennis describes his system of seducing woman through an anagram of his name.
You can read more about the D.E.N.N.I.S. System on the Always Sunny Wiki, here.
ManWhoKilledHitler ยท 623 points ยท Posted at 17:35:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it started out as the idea of playfully joking with someone while you flirt so that you have a little affectionate dig at them rather than just shower them with compliments like a creep.
How that mutated into the idea of straight up insulting people I have no idea.
detecting_nuttiness ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 17:39:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, that's interesting. In Polish culture, teasing is really standard in terms of flirting, and growing up in a Polish-American household, it was hard for me to sort of adjust to the more American version of flirting (which involved a lot more butt-kissery if you ask me).
Toytles ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 17:48:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
As a self professed teaser who is currently in a long term relationship with a bilingual Polish girl, is that why my life is what it is?
Vindexus ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:24:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, no. That's actually the result of a curse.
I_chose2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:27:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, how do I get in on this "curse" thing?
COCK_MURDER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha yeah the old whore of Warsaw, Slungus Hortaloat, placed a spell on her that if ever she was to stop being teased in her life, she would grow a cock on her face and get raped in a dumpster. The more you know!
detecting_nuttiness ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 21:55:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably, yes. Also, does she have any single friends?
brallipop ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 20:56:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Little hint: a lot of children's games are extended little flirty teases. It helps cut down on that treacle a lot of men say. I hate that stuff like looking at a picture, and a girl says "Man my makeup was whack that day," and the guy says, "No, you're perfect/beautiful." Bro don't patronize me. I think a lot of women see dating a choice between men who lack the self awareness to realize they are smothering, and men who lack the self awareness to realize that they are neglectful.
detecting_nuttiness ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:58:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It feels like lying to me. I don't like lying to a girl, but if I'm in a situation like that, I do try to make light of it. Usually with a dumb response like "it's better than I could do," or, on the more complimentary side, "it's not like it matters, you're gorgeous anyway." It all depends on context though.
Some people like that kind of flattery, but I guess those kind of people just aren't for me.
brallipop ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:39:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it's all a rich tapestry. There is no magic 1-2-3 step process to make people want you, and there is no way all the social savvy in the world can make one particular person fall for you. Complements are just a tool. Don't drown people with them. Sycophants are suffocating. Learning about social interaction is also learning about sales; you are selling yourself. The more ways you learn about entertaining folks, and convincing them, and turning them on, you can tailor what you know to your preferences and personality. For some guys going the direct route does wonders: "Damn, you're good-lookin'. I wanna take you out for drinks and dancing then take you back in for another dance. I think effin' you would be f-u-n. Cmon, let me take you out." For other guys, learn to be a great storyteller: you can entertain a whole group and when someone's friends laugh with you and enjoy your company, that someone feels pretty confident you'll be an acceptable partner. I'll stop ramblin' on you now, thanks for reading.
Joghobs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
takes notes
go on...
applepwnz ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:33:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's definitely a type of flirting in America which involves trading some lighthearted teasing, see Jim and Pam from the US version of The Office, as they had quite a bit of that early in their relationship.
badsingularity ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:43:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jim didn't neg.
OneDumbReddiot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea.. That is the worst example. Like the opposite
PaulRivers10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Pam would neg Jim.
http://www.ign.com/articles/2009/10/07/the-office-jim-pams-best-moments
...Love is undoubtedly in the air, but when Jim light-heartedly brings up the topic of their "first date" the very next day, he's quickly told by Pam that he misinterpreted things. It was another early indication of how eagerly the series' writers would tug at the characters' โ and the audience's โ emotions...
..With Pam and Roy's marriage drawing near and Jim on the verge of accepting a transfer to Stamford, Halpert finally takes the plunge and admits to Pam his love for her. Pam initially rejects Jim and once again tells him he misinterpreted the situation, but his persistence pays off and the two share a passionate kiss. The tense moment of silence that follows is one of those instances in which the show's writers cruelly let the audience twist in the wind. It wasn't until the next season that we'd learn things weren't as rosy as they appeared...
Jim was often building Pam up then dropping her, but in a nuanced way that the show made clear she liked. "(Jim gets down on one knee) Pam, I have a very important question for you. We've been dating for a while, and I want to know - (pause) - will you get me a soda from the break room while you're there?" (Pam starts looking taken aback and apprehensive for most of it, until the end where she smiles).
Not exactly exactly negging...something in the same ballpark though. Also their mutual bonding activity was basically to constantly neg Dwight.
natasharevolution ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have just realised that I don't know how to flirt without teasing someone. Complimenting them seems a little weird to me.
neoriply379 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently I tease without realizing I'm flirting.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 23:50:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of, I'm sick of people talking about the Office as some kind of religion. That show was okay, tops.
I_chose2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:29:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The downvotes just make this comment that much funnier
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:25:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No kidding.
Adasafa ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:22:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up where I did, it's pretty common for us to make fun of our friends in a joking way. There's one guy in our group who thought it would be a good idea to get all of his academic courses out of the way, then go for the ones for his degree, but now he's stuck there until late next year because of his decision. We nicknamed him OS because it's that one class holding him back.
detecting_nuttiness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Among my friends, we do the same. We heavily insult each other because it's funny, not because we want to hurt each other's feelings. In my experience with significant others, most of the girls I've dated haven't enjoyed that banter as much.
swedishberry ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:22:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Girls tease each other too. I definitely do with my friends. I think part of why girls tend to not respond as well to banter like that with men/their partners is because men are often much more mean and cutting then they might realize, even if they have zero negative intention behind it and are just kidding around. I've found SOs are more likely to joke about touchy/hot spot subjects than my girlfriends are, and I can't stand it. Hence, I don't enjoy being teased by men as much.
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:27:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And there is a certain amount of closeness required for some teasing.
If you barely know the person, and hes with a group of guys getting all in the act, its unlikely to be received well.
If its one in one and you've broken the ice a little, and its said in a very light hearted way, with laughter and about something that isnt a huge deal its more likely to be well received
spiritriser ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:59:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the difference is that teasing isn't meant to be taken seriously. This is like "are you alright? You just look off today." Not technically an insult, comes from what sounds like a good place, and she'll be self conscious all day, and notably change her self-image. By extension, her standards will drop as well, and you have a better shot.
TheEmaculateSpork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like American flirting is also a lot of teasing and joking around, but what do I know I suck at flirting.
Parysian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never experienced the butt kissery thing. Good flirting always has a few good jabs in it. Someone being overly complimentary can be a major turn off. But that's just my experience.
Captain_Bluetooth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What your describing is what seems similar to how it goes down here in England too. Well at least from my experience. Can't stand the 'showering with complements butt-kissery kind of flirting.
brickmack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Time for a change in my strategy it seems...
VictorNicollet ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 20:09:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The old "theory", on the forums back in the early 2000s, was that the most attractive women were used to men telling them how beautiful they are, and complimenting them, and so they would naturally tune them out in the same way that we ignore banner ads on the internet. By pointing out minor flaws in a playful manner, the "pick-up artist" would set himself apart from the "nice guys" who will only make compliments, spark a slight amount of interest (not necessarily romantic, at this point) and be able to strike up a true conversation.
At some point since 2010, this seems to have turned into "be an asshole to seduce average women"...
detecting_nuttiness ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:00:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That definitely makes more sense.
anon445 ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 01:33:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Also, that Urban Dictionary definition is purposely negative. It was clearly written by a girl who had heard this term probably explained by a guy friend or biased blog.
Even the assholes would never define negging as an outright insult (regardless of whether that's what they're actually doing). The keyword is "backhanded," which every PUA would know.
EDIT: downvoted because no one should stick up for those demonized pua, eh?
VictorNicollet ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:23:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From the old Alt.Seduction.Fast FAQ:
Also:
Also, read up the questions about manipulation on that FAQ :)
anon445 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you agreeing with me? Because that seems to reinforce what I said.
VictorNicollet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:54:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am providing historical context.
detecting_nuttiness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this is a really good point. On any wiki-style site you really gotta watch out for biased definitions.
Autocoprophage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:55:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You still haven't done it justice. I'll do it. The point of negging is this: to present yourself as a viable mate by demonstrating that you are not dependent on securing the approval of the woman.
Nobody else in this thread has any fucking idea what he's talking about.
PaulRivers10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the other post was more descriptive. Subtly undermining a woman who's a 10 and used to owning the whole scene all the time is rather different than trying to do that to someone who's legitimately insecure.
There's a big difference between criticizing the guy who acts like he's hot shit and knows everything, vs criticizing the guy who's down on his luck and struggling to get by, both morally and technically.
Autocoprophage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I never said it was meant for the insecure. In theory, the approach is meant for 10s and insecure women alike, as its intended effect is to show that your standing is higher than the woman's and frame the encounter as though she should pursue you rather than expect you to pursue her. I have no doubt that the technique was described in such language as to suggest its purpose is to subdue 10s, but the core mechanism is just as I've said: the presentation that you yourself are (more) viable
Source: I had a few very brief run-ins with PUA material by sheer coincidence and just happen to remember understanding these principles..... I swear I care much less about this crap than it sounds
VictorNicollet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:27:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be a fairly regular lurker on alt.seduction.fast and its spin-off forums, 15 years ago. There has always been a lot of bullshit in the PUA community (including a lot of commercial bullshit, since a lot of these communities were founded by people like Jeffries or DiAngelo, who wanted to sell their own courses and techniques), and a lot of anecdotal evidence being used as proof (e.g. I used NLP and she went along, therefore NLP works). Also, since I lived in a different country, a lot of content didn't apply for cultural reasons (things like "dates" are very alien to many French people).
Still, there were a few nuggets that the overall community managed to get right, and most of these fell under the headlines of "be an interesting person" (thanks you, Captain Obvious) and "don't be a Nice Guy". I believe the latter advice is very good when you don't want to be single.
A very important issue is that "Nice Guy" had a fairly complex definition in those circles, and it most certainly wasn't the opposite of "asshole". Some of the essential traits of the "Nice Guy" were:
Not being a "Nice Guy" involves:
witchwind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:00:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do the French do romance, then?
VictorNicollet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:17:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What I mean is that there is no social expectation of how relationships should start. Once you are in a relationship with someone, you will obviously go out together on what you could call dates (we just say "go out"). How you get to that point is entirely open, but meeting someone of the opposite sex alone is usually not taken as the first step towards a relationship (unless you set up the meeting through, say, a dating website).
VictorNicollet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alhough I would argue that demonstrating this is in fact the whole point of "don't be a Nice Guy" (of which negging was originally a specialized technique), I agree that your statement is essential to understanding the general context of the ASF movement that came up with negging in the first place.
DerEwigeKatzendame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only interest it ever sparked in me was, I should like to not be talking to him now or I should like to see his self-esteem destroyed depending on what was remarked.
brallipop ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:49:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's teasing. If hitting on someone is a positive hit, then a neg is a negative hit. The idea is that a good flirter won't hit on someone until they have earned the right to be hit on. To become more outgoing, I have started "flirting" with pretty much everyone: the retiree cashier, the high school cashier, the married bus driver, my own damn grandma, everyone appreciates a little flirting. This is basically dumb jokes and little stories and just plain friendliness. This is nice. In my interactions, if someone starts feeding back into me and we build a little tension and maybe I think she's pretty interesting, then I might shift to a bit harder flirting or just plain hitting on her. The neg is the little tease that balances your complements and forwardness so you don't seem like a tryhard or an overly attached creep. And even then, one soft one is all you need. If you walk up to someone out of the blue and just say "Those shoes don't go with that top" then the person will very reasonably think you're a fuckface.
In its best form, the dating/pickup literature is just a giant mental self help program. It says "Practice being a good and attractive person to everyone, men and women, gay and straight, black and white, young and old. Make them want to be around you. At the same time, it says "Get a good job you like that you can proud of, get your body into a condition you can be proud of, and find a hobby you can be passionate about to be a more interesting person." The idea is to raise yourself up to achievement and indicate to partners that they can reach achievement too. Don't look down on people, lift them up.
ikorolou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:18:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then make fun of yourself? Like obviously not exclusively, but y'know.
CptAustus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that's what happens when you tell socially inept people to playfully tease others.
BettiePhage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Flirting is too subtle for those people. They have to rely on a formula because they're too dull to do anything more clever.
ManWhoKilledHitler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand the desire for guidance but some of these folks are so rigid in their thinking that any kind of nuance is totally lost on them.
Dullard: "I'm wondering whether I should flirt with my hot co-worker, what do you think?"
Me: "That might be cool but it depends."
Dullard: "On what? I need a an answer here."
Me: "On your personal and business relationship with them, on whether you're comfortable with it, on whether they're comfortable with it, on whether you think it's appropriate in that setting, on whether there workplace rules about it, etc, etc."
But apparently making a judgement call is beyond these people.
Diarrhea_Van_Frank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:47:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly what it is, but people don't like guys that get a lot of girls, so it makes for an easy target.
mastervolum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:55:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol! It's so weird.. I love the way people think others are oblivious to this kind of carry on!
Also basically what happens as a result in the mind of the negger is; if you do get that person you're into to sleep with you, the reason it happened was because they didn't notice your successful attempt at making them feel worse in order to lower their standards to your level..
Yeah that's gonna be great for a persons self worth and psyche in the long run /s
It's tantamount to making your friends look bad to look good or hanging around obese people to make your fat arse look less chubby. It's obvious to the casual observer, nothing has changed until you actually make an effort and your personality will still be that of a wet dishcloth after tricking someone to sleep with you.
Tl;Dr negging is obvious to anyone with half a brain and can cause real psych problems to those using it.
xTRYPTAMINEx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:23:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Morons. The answer you're looking for is morons.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:41:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it works. I did it by accident once, I tried to tell a girl to fuck off by being an asshole (in my defence, she was really annoying) and it had the opposite effect. Until that moment I thought the whole negging thing was bullshit and no one could fall for it.
Knowing that it works makes it more disgusting though.
detecting_nuttiness ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:59:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's more of a situation of wanting what she can't have. It's definitely a similar circumstance though.
ibbity ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 21:40:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It works on sad girls with no confidence who feel the need to gain the approval of everyone they meet or else they feel even worse about themselves. Which is exactly what the PUA guys are counting on leveraging in order to get her to sleep with them.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:57:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Idk what this means, but I googled. I am disappointed, not even mad, just disappointed.
And the fact that this works on girls who are going trough hard times or have confidence issues is disgusting. They are literally preying on the weak and taking advantage of them, while potentially causing more damage and trust issues that could last a long time. Some people really need a high five... On the face... With a closed fist.
ibbity ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:03:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aiming for girls with confidence issues and emotional problems is exactly what that kind of person tries to do, because it's all about getting their dick wet and the lower the self-esteem of the girl, the easier they apparently find it to do so.
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:30:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It may work on really desperate people, signigicantly inebriated people, or people with low self-esteem.
Wow... Your standards must be high.
PaulRivers10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, while I had never negged anyone consciously myself, when they started talking about it I looked back and realized "holy shit, girls really did want to have the most passionate sex when someone or something else made them feel bad".
It's not a 100% of the time quality, but it's definitely a thing that happens quite a bit.
ucbiker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to get accused of negging all the time, when in fact, I was just straight up insulting people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your insightful comment really hides the fact that you're hitler;)
crybannanna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe that's because you're fucking stupid.
(Are you attracted to me yet?)
ManWhoKilledHitler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so hot for you right now you utter retard.
PlatonSkull ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:02:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The idea comes from group theory where in order to seem attractive to the pretty girl in the group, you need to ignore her and/or put her down while getting her friends' favour, which makes her seek your approval instead of vice-versa.
It's already a dick move psychological trick, but when it's just you walking up to a girl and being passive-aggressive, that's just a dick move, period.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:03:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That's how you tell the difference between a good neg and a bad neg...and the one dude who induces cringe by thinking he's going to get laid by following a formula/rulebook (he won't), versus the one dude who is suave af and really sweeps the lady off her feet.
I've never really done it myself, because I never needed it, as I was never into the hooking-up lifestyle. But I have a close friend who was into it, and I've personally seen it in action.
The word "neg" is dehumanizing, but those who are good at it make their comments in the way where it is never dehumanizing or insulting. It's really just teasing, reworded.
Often Feminists like to say that only weak-minded females fall into the PUA tricks, but from what I've seen, that's not true.
The PUA are a strange community, and their #1 rule is a strange reverse psychology where if they are don't care about failing, he ends up being more confident, and in return become even more attractive due to that confidence boost.
Half of PUA is just Attraction & Flirting 101: but rewritten with misogynist undertones, because it believes that by not putting the opposite gender on a pedestal, Guys tend to fuck up less. The objectifying language is what helps that community do that.
But at the end of the day, a really good PUA is no different than a Womanizer, or someone who is really good at flirting and hooking up. It's all different words for the same exact process.
pingpongtiddley ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:30:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had a guy come up to me in a club once and just repeatedly state "you arse? Yeah it looks shit. Your arse looks shit in that skirt." over and over. I guess it was negging, if it wasn't ... Still a dickhead thing to do.
PaulRivers10 ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 03:59:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but girls are even bigger jerks. You can watch them deliberately, pointedly build guys up just to drop the guy with "what, you thought were were flirting?" like an ass. I mean the girls have had a few drinks - they've lost their ability to be plausibly deniable when they do it, it's really obvious.
pingpongtiddley ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:39:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What, all women? Every single woman does this?
PaulRivers10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, not all women all women all the time at all. The post I was responding to was talking about a situation where a guy was being an "in your face jerk" - that's not even close to all men all the time either.
But just like there's always a few guys like that at the place every night, there's always a few girls maliciously deliberately building guys up for the thrill of dropping them. Or worse, I've seen the "girl trying to get guys to get into a fistfight over her" thing, but that's a different subject.
RareBeautyEtsy ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:42:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if they realize that is the same type of behavior that sexual predators and abusers often use?
It's pretty screwed up.
PaulRivers10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:02:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sexual predators and abusers do many many things that are turn-ons. It's kinda like saying "robbers took my money" - well so did the surgeon who saved my life.
All of the female romance movies from the last decade involve the guy being kind of a dick to the girl - is there a point where you're going to catch on that it's a very effective strategy that girls fantasize about?
Our culture is super messed up regarding sex and romance, but pretending that isn't the case doesn't change it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:23:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People forget that behind every PUA is a very disappointed feminist who trusted what women told them women wanted. Then after years and years of nothing working they do one PUA things and it works. What do you think is gonna happen? PUAs are alive and kicking because for some people it's the only way to avoid loneliness
conquer69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:27:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not only that but some females don't actually offer any valuable advice to their male friends that are lonely because they don't want to hurt their feelings.
Things like "you will find someone for you some day" and the like.
RareBeautyEtsy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:35:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's hard to give advice, especially when things are true. Think about how hard it is to tell someone their fly is unzipped, or they have food in their teeth.
Now, think about a guy that has, let's say, really bad dandruff.
If he asked for advice, the vast majority of people would assume he knows, and doesn't care. Why would you tell someone something obvious, risk the person getting mad, and losing a friend? Telling people stuff is hard!
So. If someone is reading this, maybe here is something that could help. A lot of this only refers to first meetings, or trying to meet someone.
The best place to start is basic hygiene and take a look in a mirror. Nails, hair, teeth, breath, EARS, behind the ears, clothes without stains, not all wrinkled, clean everything. You don't have to have fancy clothes, just neat and clean. Shower every day. Unless you have a job as a mechanic, you have no need to have dirt under your nails.
Look at your shoes. Nasty shoes are a turn-off to many women. They can be Dollar Store flip-flops, but they need to be clean.
Don't wear stupid or offensive logos or images. And stand up tall. People that slouch look defeated.
Don't talk like a bad facepalm post, don't curse, because it can be offensive when you don't know someone.
Have something to talk about that isn't specialized. Not everyone knows what a VPN is; not everyone has seen GOT or plays WOW.
Don't talk to women using verbiage that describes their body parts, unless it is their eyes or their hair. You can say something about shoes, but that's all. When you are first meeting someone, don't compliment anything that you wouldn't compliment to your grandmother. Life is not like a porno.
If you are in a bar, or somewhere meeting people, concentrate on meeting ONE person. Just one. Have a conversation. Women know when you are looking over their shoulder for the next 'hot chick' to walk in the door.
If several guys have tried to talk to the same woman, forget her. Some women take perverse pleasure in shooting guys down. Avoid them.
Be nice, but don't be a doormat. The negging works because women look for strong men. It may get you sex, but it is really destructive, because you are not going to respect any woman who falls for it. Respect is the basis of a good relationship.
Volunteer somewhere. You can meet so many people, it can get you outside, and the people there are pre-disposed to like you, because you are there for a common cause. Plus, it makes you feel good. Confidence (not arrogance) is sexy.
Find people in places that you want to be. If you smoke pot, don't try to date Mormons. If you like tall women, don't go to a little people's convention. If you like country music, don't go to a techno bar.
These aren't hard things, and they require zero dollars. These are just suggestions. I am not an expert.
Edit: word
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea well when you ask a women what they want almost always say "just be yourself" "be nice" probably worst advice you can give ever
RareBeautyEtsy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you read what I wrote?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea well, I guess my point is no advice is better than bad advice
RareBeautyEtsy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't understand how your reply references what I wrote. But, ok.
BrachiumPontis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:46:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every PUA I've ever spoken to has been a misogynist who latched onto a philosophy that matched his preexisting beliefs.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:02:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the other way, being a PUA makes you a misogynist because it usually highlights the not so good parts of women behavior. Btw I think men have those not so good behaviors too. Just that PUAs focus on women's only
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:08:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was on Silicon Valley once. When Richard tried negging the potential investors to drive up their value.
Maria-Stryker ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:17:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A certain red-themed subreddit is full of advice on how to "effectively" neg women.
jpepper07 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:22:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it? Where can I find it? You know...for science...and to avoid it.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:15:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's so stupid
overlycasual ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:39:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ahh, the D.E.N.N.I.S. System.
Works wonders from what I am told.
thebigbradwolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love your comment, I'm glad to see looking things up on Urban Dictionary was cool again.
Bojangthegoatman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:21:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking sociopaths actually
WCATQE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your use of Google hides your stupidity.
dtf?
detecting_nuttiness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a/s/l? ;) ;) :P
WCATQE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
18/F/Cali
detecting_nuttiness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
u got cam?
WCATQE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You got cash?
detecting_nuttiness ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:54:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
8483 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check the meaning of PUA. :)
reeln166a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of sounds like the D.E.N.N.I.S. system
tikiman6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if they are high grade insults?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
relevant xckd
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what the worst part of negging is? It fucking works too often. The trick is to not be an asshole. Make it seem goofy and like a joke. Because it should be. But hot damn if it doesn't work half the time.
Kignak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you believe that someone who was applying for a job in my department put Charm School on their resume? My boss thought it was hilarious so she told us all. The job was for an office specialist in a veterinary clinic!
pohatu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Best "neg" ever. You may be Princess Leia, but I'm not going to line up to kiss your ass like all the other men.
That's all it really means. Distinguish yourself from the other chumps by expecting the beautiful woman to impress you with the content of her character and not the halo she might expect you should place on her because of her appearance.
Taken in this way, "negging" is code for feminism. Okay, maybe that's a bit too far, but I say we take it that far. Dare to look past a woman's looks and be bold enough to alert her to that fact by making a joke or two about, ideally, how human and normal she is.
Obviously this makes the most sense only with the most superficial and egotistical people who are used to having people blow sunshine up their butts.
Replace "women" with bosses for career advice. 'Neg' a boss, show him/her you see them as human and do so in a funny good natured way, and you look human to them too.
RonWisely ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could also take her out on a boat where she will be obligated to sleep with you...because of the implication.
713984265 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing about being a 'pick up artist' or just someone who is generally into pick up is that when you're doing it CORRECTLY no one should know you're doing it.
Negging is something everyone does, the problem is when it's forced. If you're saying you've never playfully insulted someone while flirting I really just don't believe you. That's what a neg is supposed to be, a playful backhanded compliment. An example would be like if a girl told you she was a model, you could be like haha oh what like a hand model? That's not quite right, but the general idea. The way people frame 'negging' is just super dumb, but then again, having a term for it and forcing it is pretty dumb too.
IDK. I got really into pickup for like a year. It changed my life. Made me more confident and overall a more well rounded individual. It just bums me out when people talk so negatively about pickup.
Topdogkingchamp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just buy monster condoms for my magnum dong and take the scraps
shmadman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:12:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Nah I'd say thats an incorrect definition. The word negging is stupid, but PUA was designed for guys so fucking awkward they have yo read up on how to speak to women. (it takes one to know one btw).
Negging is just supposed to be a joke or two about the person you are talking to, the same way you would with a good buddy. Not offensive or degrading, but its just risky because you dont know the girl and thus she might take offence but if you were friends she would without a doubt laugh as long as you didnt cross the line from playful banter to completely offensive and inappropriate.
Negging is suggested in PUA because nervous men on dates have a bad habbit of being like "what do you do for a living?.... Wow that sounds exciting... Oh you volunteer too?... You're such a great person...wow, you're so pretty as well". They are basically yes-men in the conversation overly praising the date whereas that is so boring to be on the receiving end of it. Instead, why not have a personality. Have a conversation and insert jokes about you, her, or the bad movie you just watched and have fun.
Being on your best behaviour for a date is fake and is the quickest way to show you are nervous and dont feel good enough for her. Instead just be yourself and have fun. If she likes you she likes you, if not thats ok as well.
Its terrible that people have to read PUA blogs for hours just to realise that the best way to be attractive to women is to just be yourself. But a confident self.
Edit:
TLDR: negging = nonoffensive friendly jokes to cut the tension on a date, treating each other as friends who get along well enough to crack little jokes about one another, thereby skipping out of the "this guy is a stranger, i hope he doesnt kill me" zone on a date and into the "fyew, he remind me of [insert trusted male friend's name], i guess i can let me gaurd down now, relax, and enjoy this date" zone
TLDR's TLDR: negging = pretending to be buddies by cracking jokes about one another
TLDR's TLDR's TLDR: negging = being socially competent
TLDR's TLDR's TLDR's TLDR: be human
PaulRivers10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's try a little reality. The US has the lowest birth rate it's ever had, the lowest marriage rate, and though it's harder to track looks like everyone is having a lot less sex:
http://time.com/3852117/millennials-sex-parents-boomers/
A new study suggesting millennials will have fewer sex partners than Boomers got everyone talking about indifferent twentysomethings and their sexed-up parents, but the truth may be even more shocking: a separate study found almost half of twentysomethings have not had sex at all in the last year.
The study says one in three 20-somethings have never had sex at all. โYouโd think theyโd be focused on sleeping around, but really what theyโre focused on is getting ahead,โ explains Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University and Chief Scientific Advisor for Match. โIn their 20s I think theyโre working very hard.
No one knows how to talk to girls - even girls. In fact it's become a big thing again where girls say "I keep having this thing where when I like a guy, I get real nervous and run the other way".
This whole "everyone else is having lots of sex" is a big cultural lie so you don't notice that everyone (women and men) are mostly spending their lives away working.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they should start calling it something else?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah, this is the way I always saw it too. Not to undermine confidence or anything like that, just a playful tease to show you can be fun.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a great date that started with a neg. Were were supposed to meet up at the Starbucks at Barnes and Noble and stroll around. She showed up to starbucks.... with starbucks. I was like "Girl, that is so basic" we had a good laugh and left for dinner.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but does it work??
JoveOfDroit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:55:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is definitely not just something men do to women. It goes both ways, and it should be called out every time.
joettshowbiz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:30:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a manipulative sex strategy used by lonely chauvinists.
ktappe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:31:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And yet it works on a certain % of women. Most couples I know involve the man mildly insulting the woman (in a supposedly kidding kind of way) several times a day, and her loving him for it.
nate800 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It works.
Sir_Doughnut ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 19:58:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh come on now, like women don't have an entire repertoire of tricks to get the most out of a guy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a whole closet full of tricks. And by tricks I mean low-cut tops.
gwizmcpyro ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 23:54:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol reddit white knights don't want to hear that. They want to think the girls are infallible goddesses. Truth is everyone's playing the game to get the most for the least price in every aspect of life
EvilJackCarver ยท 1133 points ยท Posted at 15:50:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant XKCD.
u_got_a_better_idea ยท 302 points ยท Posted at 17:41:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
None of us are gonna talk about the hilarious bowling ball idea? I'd never actually do it, but the idea is golden.
[deleted] ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 18:37:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have yet to find a bathroom where the bottom of the stalls is high enough.
n33nj4 ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 19:14:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad someone has checked this. I always think about it but never have a bowling ball handy when it comes up.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 21:22:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Update: I checked all the bathrooms in my building, and I found one with stalls that are definitely high enough.
ZeldaZealot ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:24:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do it.
n33nj4 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:27:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta agree with ZeldaZealot on this.
Also record it. I'm bored and work is slow.
albadil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're all behind you on this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd have to carry a bowling ball to work to pull this off though. I don't think that I can manage that, given that I bike.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"TIFU by dropping a bowling ball on the bathroom tile at work."
PinkyandzeBrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never leave home without it.
weaselsrepic ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:34:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have yet to see one where the stalls are low enough to prevent this.
undearius ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:22:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some stalls you can roll a bowling ball between the door and the wall where it closes.
Csantana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:29:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean obviously a bowling ball's relative obscureness (not many people own their own) makes it funnier than like a baseball or tennis ball yeah but I think we can find the funny in other places. Maybe not role sports equipment down the stall but some round fruits? just like 3 mangos or something
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How about a grapefruit and a cantaloupe?
Csantana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'l have to talk to the guys at the lab but I bet we can manage it
Big_D_Squirrels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was in Santa Cruz recently and every bathroom I was in was high enough.
pavel_lishin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:52 on August 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a pretty great idea. If you're on the toilet, you get a free bowling ball!
darktask ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 18:30:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. I was just skewered by a cartoon
Rinzack ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 22:45:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea can we just talk about that real quick? because that hit REALLY close to home... Like how do we address that specific thing she said (because its absolutely what my life/mind set is like)... I spend a ton of time thinking of how to get beyond my mediocrity but it never helps either...
_Nearmint ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:27:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't speak for everyone, but as someone nearing his 30's and watching all my friends get married and move out and have careers, I think a big part of it is asking whether or not I personally place a lot of importance on those things, or I just think that I should because everyone else says they do.
So what if I'm not married with a kid, I treasure my free time. So what if I didn't go to a four year, I'm not in debt and working an entry level job just to pay it off so that I MIGHT move up to a higher pay grade later. So what if I live at home, I pay all my own bills and help out around the house and I actually like my family, rather than living paycheck to paycheck or with a bunch of friends just so I can say I'm "independent."
But that's just me, everyone's goals are different. Maybe the problem with feeling mediocre is what you're attempting to attain, not with what you're doing about it.
darktask ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:25:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can understand what you're saying, but for people who already know they're not doing what they want to do, this sounds an awful lot like complacency.
Certainly revision of goals is a good thing; lives change, people change but trying to fit your reality by giving up your goals sounds like settling to me.
_Nearmint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It can go both ways, and in retrospect I should have clarified that.
As you said, revision of goals is one thing, abandoning them for complacency is another.
But just as those are two sides of one issue, so are the ideas of "I'm mediocre as a person" vs. "This isn't working out because it's not for me."
It doesn't mean you must change your goals, but rather it's a possibility. And ifnyou do some soul searching and end up saying "this IS what I want" it can light a fire in you that drives you to find a new way to get what you're after.
darktask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. But speaking for myself and likely /u/Rinzack, copious soul searching has already been conducted.
darktask ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:59:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I've given this some thought and I think the best course of action is just that - action. It doesn't really matter if our perspectives change but our behaviors don't. And I don't really know if there's a better systematic approach than failure analysis at this type of thing. Basically try until something sticks, then work that till it stops producing results, think about why it failed and adjust accordingly.
Samuel Beckett said, Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
Jammer2393 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except this is yet another realization that I can believe will help me out of my pit of mediocrity when in fact it'll be as fruitless as previous efforts to be not useless
IamA_Big_Fat_Phony ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:11:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Another wasted realization. And the cycle continues.
You know what the real answer is??? Win the motherfucking lottery.
darktask ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:26:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if you do something then this won't be just another epiphany. So do something
xheist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thinking about stuff doesn't bring about change, doing shit does.
Improvement is the result of practice, not theory.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:18:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has always been one of my favorites.
dontforgetthelube ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:01:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That hit a little too close to home...
PaulRivers10 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:20:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The preface about the bowling ball thing is a series of strips about how the girl and the bowling ball guy are actually kind of assholes. There's no way the negging guy is going to win, because he's dealing with people better at the asshole game than he is.
waywardwoodwork ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:05:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a fucking Mortal Kombat fatality of a response from her.
itsamee ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 16:39:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The dude in the comic should have just one upped her negging, if they go back and forth like that he might still have a chance to get laid bro!
runetrantor ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 22:30:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's Black Hat's girlfriend, no way he can beat her at twisted cruelty and mad genius.
She and Black Hat LIVE to make everyone suffer and be confused.
CutterJohn ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:21:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well. Fuck me. How did I never make that connection. The dude wearing is wearing a black hat because hes a black hat.
jgzman ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:12:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With what?
ThexAntipop ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 21:30:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, something about her hair?
mirrorwolf ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:58:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One word. Eyebrows.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:00:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly the most relevant XKCD I've ever seen
zazathebassist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just realized the girl being negged is Danish. Black Hat's girlfriend. Makes the cruel reply make a lot more sense.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love that one
AdventureFalls618 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the girl said to the guy, I saw that in another thread! The thread was about 'what's the worst insult you can say to someone?'
peterofwestlink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That insult is the most devastating I have ever heard. It's not even directed at the reader and it makes me reevaluate my life.
nickmarx12345678 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit man
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow her venomous reply struck a chord with me. That's fucking terrifying.
Cole1494 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He should have said something about her not having a face.
4leafrolltide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is her response from? I swear that's from a movie
chandleross ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:37:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that response hit too close to home for me :-(
I'm not the guy in the comic and it still totally ruined my confidence.
blobblet ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:32:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I found this weirdly inspiring.
mirrorwolf ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:58:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
JUST DO IT
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:23:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was kind of cringey
CheatedOnOnce ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 19:45:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who post relevant XKCD's make me instantly dislike them >:(
EvilJackCarver ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:47:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love you too <3
myhairsreddit ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:40:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy tell me at my highest weight that I was very pretty for a girl my size. Like that was supposed to make me feel good about myself. Would this be an example of what you mean?
thebloodofthematador ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 00:02:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is exactly it. Plus that kind of dude thinks overweight girls are desperate and will let a dude fuck them and treat them like shit because they're so hard up for attention.
myhairsreddit ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:15:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly how I felt with that guy. He would make me feel low, treat me like crap, and like I should feel blessed he would grace me with his presence. It was gross and weird, and made me feel like crap. He wasn't exactly wrong, but that didn't make how he treated me right.
JeSuisCharlieMartel ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 09:27:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
did he smear you in green paint and spank you like a disobedient avocado ?
Bens_Dream ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:03:53 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHY ARE YOU GETTING DOWNVOTED
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, anyone who says it is doesn't know shit. Negging is basically another word for the good ol banter and playful teasing. Calling someone fat ain't teasing. Joking pointing out someone's stupid doing (on either gender) is playful teasing or negging
kaleyt ยท 317 points ยท Posted at 16:03:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omg when guys think they've mastered the art of negging when really they're just SUPER ANNOYING. When you say "ok you're actually the most irritating person I've ever met" and they laugh act all smug about it as if their technique is "working". lmao, like, no honey, I am the complete opposite of impressed right now.
G_Morgan ยท 319 points ยท Posted at 16:17:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm convinced "negging" only works because previously the person asked out no girls and now with a plan he's asking out many. Raw numbers will work eventually regardless of plan.
MemeMauler ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:54:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's basic brute force sales, and it makes people think all women are like the tiny subset their repulsive pitch works on.
Nukethepandas ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:01:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women are mentally inferior to men.
No, the women who like you are mentally inferior.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:54:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. That and that it's probably done subtly enough a lot of the time that the girls don't pick up on it and mistake his arrogance for confidence. I doubt these relationships that do make it into the bedroom last much longer once the chick has picked up on the fact that no, he wasn't just a little nervous and acting kind of dumb. He's a legit idiot.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:31:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Kenny__Loggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:39:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe a fwb thing though.
0l01o1ol0 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:23:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, this is the only advice from a pick up artist I've heard that was convincing... try starting a conversation with a hundred random women, 99 will tell you to go away, you will find one looking for sex. Of course you have to not mind being insulted, so it's like the opposite of what OP is talking about.
reverendsteveii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:30:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Boomhauer Principle.
jinxjar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instructions unclear, penis stuck on jail.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shotguns were invented for a reason. Can't hit it with 1, you may as well just throw everything at it.
Calamity701 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And being an asshat means that only the least confident women will keep talking with you beyond 1 minute.
So you can get through a few hundred women within a day if you are persistent.
CannotStopTrueLove ยท -58 points ยท Posted at 16:20:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Negging (AKA teasing) works because you're showering a girl with attention without making yourself look like a chump in the process. Guys who don't understand this grossly overdo it or just say a lot of awkward stuff.
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 16:51:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY.
CannotStopTrueLove ยท -31 points ยท Posted at 16:55:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I've had plenty of guys try that on me without being insulting. I find the whole teasing shtick boring but a lot of girls don't.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:01:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, girls with low self-esteem. The girls I hang out with certainly don't appreciate being negged.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:38:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:08:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are correct. Girls with a sense of self-worth will see right through that bullshit and won't fall for "OMG HE'S PAYING ATTENTION TO ME", just like how men with a sense of decency and real self-worth won't try and pull that shit.
Fedora_Da_Explora ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:02:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Teasing is a normal human interaction that most people enjoy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY. See Stockhole Syndrome and Learned Helplessness.
Fedora_Da_Explora ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:35:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Teasing in social situations is not unpleasant and it does not lead to helplessness or stockholm(stockhole?) syndrome you lunatic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like someone who "teases" someone to the point where they're in tears and then you're all like "I was just kidding, can't you take a joke?" Clearly, someone didn't think it was funny.
CannotStopTrueLove ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:32:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure you are not the insecure one here
Fedora_Da_Explora ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:49:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's not teasing. Teasing requires being able to read someone and judge their reactions like a normal human being. When the other person doesn't enjoy it it's just awkward. Not everything is a power struggle and it's not abuse.
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 19:26:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KaziArmada ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:47:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, there is the part where they're being a massive asshat...I'd call that a pretty big fault.
Dr-Teemo-PhD ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:35:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've met a guy like that before. First I wasn't sure if he was making fun of how some guys think negging works. Then I called him out on it and he looked ecstatic that I was annoyed and said in this really loud mocking voice and held his hands up, "OH! OH, SOMEONE'S GETTING OFFENDED!" He looked just like a bully when he did that. I told him I was leaving and why, he just smirked at me in this really derisive way as if I should be ashamed of myself.
I'm fortunate that I've only met a couple of these guys in my life. The way some guys look at me as if I should be ashamed for not wanting to start anything with them... makes me feel like I'm not a even a human being.
thebloodofthematador ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:59:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The guys who really buy into the "negging" thing are incapable of being shamed. They've internalized the message that if you're not impressed by their antics, the problem is with you, not them. It's not their fault you're a frigid bitch!
WatermelonWarlord ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:40:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because they think a negative reaction is better than none, and that they can turn any interest into sex later down the road. So getting under your skin is good thing. Instead of saying that they're annoying or anything negative, tell them they're boring or uninteresting. Just pay them as little attention or emotional expression as possible.
Crypt0Nihilist ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:29:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Girl I know left a guy in stunned confusion when, after asking her for a private word, proceeded to criticise her shoes, dress and appearance and was told to piss off when he wanted to come back and sit with her and her friends!
There is a fine line between teasing and being plain insulting. He was nowhere near that line.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:41:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually the idea of getting attention from another person is considered success in their book, so it's not like they've set the bar high for themselves.
SamsungGalaxyGreen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:54:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never knew this was an actual thing, it sends shivers down my spine that people would actually use it. Like ugh.
PaulRivers10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It certainly doesn't always work, but it's a bigger shiver when you see it actually work once or twice and you're like "jesus, that actually works sometimes?".
WTFisabanana ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:25:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to talk to this guy who constantly neg girls to get them to like him and apparently he was really hood at it. He tried it on me and I saw right through and never showed any attention to the things he would say (His favorite was I love how big your nose is). The funny part is after he realized it wasn't working he became obsessed with making me like him. He eventually begged me to love him and just date him. It was like every fiber of his being broke. He had never been rejected and couldn't handle it. I wonder how he's doing now.
Salehnig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is negging a part of the D.E.N.N.I.S System?
screamingradio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that why on two separate occasions when out with a gal pal a guy has come up and asked if we are lesbians? Is that what it was supposed to be, because it didn't work at all. One of the guy's name was Benji and he wore a collar, no thanks
Stoutyeoman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've had experiences, mostly unintentional, where I've said something insulting to a girl and then she was suddenly interested. I think it's mostly a mistake on the part of the girl for thinking my rude comment was a display of having a spine, unlike the guys who generally fall all over themselves trying to get her attention. Really I was just being rude.
mcrbids ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 18:47:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, depressed?
kaleyt ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:48:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, "unimpressed".
mcrbids ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 18:54:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depressed sounds funnier tho...
[deleted] ยท -33 points ยท Posted at 18:37:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You probably fell for some guys strategy and figured it out too late and are still upset over it.
kaleyt ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:46:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol ew are you one of those negging douches? :S good luck out there bud
[deleted] ยท -24 points ยท Posted at 18:48:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol nah I am pretty good with women where I don't need to do that. Thanks though!
home_is_the_rover ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:09:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Life protip: Every sane person knows that a guy who claims to be "good with women" is definitely the exact opposite.
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 00:43:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure cause you know me so well.
kaleyt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:49:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh good, happy to hear it!
gwizmcpyro ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 01:21:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol this, or she was too ugly to get hit on in the first place and is mad af
formula350 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:39:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some guys I genuinely liked did this to me and I'd stop talking to them completely. Like, this one was always commenting on how small my tits were even though they're average size. Wtf. Most women are at least a little body conscious and men complain about this but then try to bring them down?
cdude ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:39:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he was trying to neg you so of course he'd bring you down. Don't bother with people like him. Your tits are small, but they're decent enough for me to enjoy them. Not that i've ever had tits that small. Call me.
thebloodofthematador ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:02:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I'm familiar with that trick. The end game is them frustrating you to the point of you showing them your breasts to prove something.
tangoewhisky ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:07:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone else think this champagne tastes funny?
kilopeter ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:50:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's an acquired taste, mate.
tangoewhisky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, I seriously think this champagne tastes quite shite.
englanddragons7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:04:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just saw that movie last night, nice reference.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What movie?
englanddragons7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm not mistaken I believe it to be Kingsman the Secret Service.
minddropstudios ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:50:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer negging in its ultimate form; The "D.E.N.N.I.S" system.
JeebusChrist ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:43:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Oh, oops! I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum
dongdahng!"ErroneousDish ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:30:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I use a different system. I keep a wad of hundreds and a magnum condom in my wallet, thereby demonstrating that I have a monster dong.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:37:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, kind of like your cockiness hides your complete lack of self-worth?"
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:19:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What people don't realise is that "negging" already existed in the form of "teasing", except teasing is actually funny and isn't fake.
IanJL1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it works if it's just a natural part of the conversation, not pre-prepared lines.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:26:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Teasing is totally fine. Its playful and mutual:
'Yeah, your choice of restaurant hasn't improved from our first date, I see.'
As opposed to negging, which is just a nasty little veiled insult:
'Huh. A girl with your figure normally wouldn't have the confidence to wear a dress like that.'
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:31:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Outside of television shows, I've never seen negging work successfully for anyone.
JabberJauw ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:56:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People still neg? What highschool are they still doing that at?
Slash_rage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:24:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your awesome tits hide how fugly your face is.
Pleasant_Jim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never met anyone who has done this in front of me or maybe I'm just oblivious...
Edit: actually, maybe I just thought they were being dicks rather than had a genuine game plan.
droidonomy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, you'd love /r/seduction
hwarming ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Danny Sexbang had a good take on that, just be a good person and treat other people like human beings.
xTRYPTAMINEx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What people misunderstand about negging, is that it's literally just talking to women like you would your guy friends. The playful making fun of each other.
And yes, playfully making fun of women makes them smile if you're attractive. So it does work.
FatalisDrakari ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:13:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can we call them neggers? I think we could do that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone actually ever seen this in real life or actually come across it? I see it mentioned disparagingly on reddit and other places on the internet, but I've never seen anywhere or anyone actually advocate it. Does it really exist?
Danica170 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's really dumb. This actually works? If I was on a date and my date said something like that to me I would just leave. Just because you want to get laid easily doesn't mean you can just go around belittling people. I don't know how to feel about the women who fall for this crap cuz on the one hand, it's stupid that they fall for this bullshit, but they're also really insecure, and I get that. To a point. I'm not going to let someone treat me like crap, I've had enough of that. Can anyone explain how this actually works? Cuz I can't fathom how people would put up with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anna Akana made a video about that and it was hilarious. I'll see if I can find the link.
SenorTy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Proud I didn't know what that was until I saw you mention it ๐๐ผ
Philandrrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a shot at Donald Trump?
Stoutyeoman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure it's a legitimate strategy, to a point. Women who get men falling all over them all the time are impressed when a guy doesn't act like a total weenie in front of them.
That doesn't make it not a total dick move.
OuttaSightVegemite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, like, your cuntiness hides your douchiness?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen this happen.
lemonminge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The most fucked up thing? I think ive seen it work... Something along the lines of, (in a club or bar or whatever..) your shoes are really nice, i think i saw someone else in here with the same ones and they really caught my eye" Now, it says one thing about the person who uses that method or system, but it also says something about the person that it works on .. Human psychology eh.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Looooool I love when people think those methods are actually going to work. Newsflash to literally all guys: that shit was created by people who are actually successful at getting women to keep you from being good at it so they have less competition. It could not be further from what you should do in any social interaction. You're being duped hard.
SovereignLover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is the word "negging" when it just means "teasing". Teasing is a part of almost any flirtatious engagement and it's perfectly fine.
hatertauts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's another word for negging, it's called teasing. The people who use formulaic negs just aren't very good at teasing people. When done properly (with a sense of humor), it's actually pretty fun for both parties. Source, am human, tease everybody.
bass_n_treble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:32 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not advocating their use, but most of it has been wildly misinterpreted over the years.
Imagine you, a guy who has had low self-esteem and woman problems all your life... suddenly now has realized women are indeed people too rather than someone on a pedestal looking down upon you.
Have you ever teased your little sister? It's not meant to be taken seriously, it's just a joke. But now you have permission to do it because it doesn't matter how hot a girl is, you demonstrate it doesn't impress you to the point of dumbfounding you.
The problem is, this was taken to ridiculous levels, and often with an overtone of malice. These are misogynists. They're not playing, they're acting out. Ideally you'd like to just be a ball-buster who can take a joke as well.
If you're playful and not needy, you can say whatever you want to anybody, in my experience.
gtatlien ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Negging does work with girls, just not women. Big difference
pjabrony ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:08:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who annoy you: N_GGERS.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:34:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Well the problem is that nobody understands the concept. First of all they're only intended for very attractive girls (like, the top 5-10%). The textbook negs are things like "nice nails, are they real?" and "I like how your nose wiggles when you laugh."
A neg is not a straight up insult. It's a compliment with a subtle dig, the idea being that exceptionally attractive girls are used to compliments and generally ignore most men, so you need something to grab their attention. If the girl you're talking to is already paying attention to you then the time for negs has passed. If she's not model material then negs will just make her sad (hint: when you make girls sad they don't want to make out with you. Give her a sincere compliment instead; it's a one-two punch that makes her happy and makes you appear confident and friendly.)
The word for insulting strangers is "social retardation," not "negging."
BeckWreck ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Begging only works if you've got someone helping you. See, your wingmate's goal is to be the biggest asshole ever and then after getting the drink thrown on them, you act all nice to the target.
Source: this has worked on exactly 1.6 of the people I've tried this on.
TeeJayEsss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shame about that last 2/5. Almost made it.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women do it too. They think it's like a verbal sparring and that men will like it; no, it's just you being inulting. Shut the hell up, bitch.
pgajria ยท 516 points ยท Posted at 16:40:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When some one uses 'Should of', 'Could of', and 'Would of' in written communication.
ElBiscuit ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:32:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still have no idea how it happened, but I once saw the reverse of this. "I'm kind've tired."
pgajria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does that even happen? It seems like people arbitrarily contract words to their convenience.
i_ANAL ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:52:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It makes me cry to think that one day the dictionary will likely be changed to accept these abominations.
thedistrbdone ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:42:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for ruining my day
pgajria ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit. Now I'm pissed and in a bad mood. :\
DaSaw ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:57:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even worse is the people who insist those are legitimate phrases, somehow distinct from should have, could have and would have. Yes, I've seen it. Wanted to scoop my brain out through my eye socket.
pgajria ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That insistence drives me crazy. I've seen it as well; from people with Master's degrees.
Brod24 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:19:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
also, mute points. I grit my teeth when there are mute points.
admiralwaffles ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:43:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No no no no, it's a moo point. Like a cow's opinion, it just doesn't matter.
pgajria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen VPs send those out in an email. I get weird facial ticks when I see that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Noooo it's moot! Like the ents have.
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:59:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm confused because /u/Brod24 was clearly pointing out how they hate it when someone misuses 'moot point'...
You know it is actually moot point right? And it's exactly like what the ents have. It literally means a point that is to be debated in a moot, and has been hijacked to also mean a point not worth discussing.
beetgreens ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:59:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
someone*
pgajria ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:04:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Thank you. My phone decided that was two words.
beetgreens ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:08:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally my pleasure :)
Sunuvamonkeyfiver ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:23:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's your opinion on should've, could've, and would've?
Galoka ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 02:22:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those are okay because they are contractions for should have, could have and would have.
pgajria ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:33:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a fair contraction in my opinion.
Sunuvamonkeyfiver ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:57:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh-huh. And Shouldn't've, couldn't've, and wouldn't've?
ferrousferret28 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:29:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, are these not okay to use? Now I feel dirty...
pgajria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These are not OK to use. Unsure how dirty you feel but attempt to wash your hands of these sins.
pgajria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:30:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to slit my wrists now.
th3d3k0y ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:35:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
woulda, shoulda, coulda?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
eat a bagel, asked that girl, sign to a gym
DerpGrub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tomato, potato.
nusyahus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For those unaware, it's *** have and not *** of
gmano ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Bolding is done by surrounding **text** with 2 asterisks (thanks /u/sagan_drinks_cosmos).
Italics with just *one*.
sagan_drinks_cosmos ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:40:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, they're called asterisks. Asterix is a French comic strip character.
gmano ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:58:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are very much correct... Tells you something about the books I read as a kid.
nusyahus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the info!
Farty_poop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:39:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My old boss did this shit and it always made me think less of her.
pgajria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As you should have.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I type how I talk and this was one hell of a habit to break. I kept using of when typing because I would use the contraction when talking. To solve this I just started pronouncing 'have' when I talk.
pgajria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a very admirable approach to solving the problem.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, "prolly" for probably. Gun to their heads.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's silly. It's just a shortening, people say it, if they wish to express it as such; why get so angry?
pgajria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this when I'm completely tired and semi drunk. Inexcusable but it's happened by my hand too.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:00:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pgajria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just stupid.
AlenaBrolxFlami ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:39:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once knew a woman in her 60s who did this. Really, Carol?
I also hate "sammich" for "sandwich."
techniforus ยท 7001 points ยท Posted at 15:48:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: Thanks for the gold kind internet stranger.
pooptrooper1 ยท 5997 points ยท Posted at 17:20:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
rip my inbox xD
techniforus ยท 5618 points ยท Posted at 17:25:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: And now my top comment is about X, dammit reddit.
[deleted] ยท 5337 points ยท Posted at 18:41:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
GiantFapForMankind ยท 1232 points ยท Posted at 22:45:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A little late here so no one will probably read this.
MackLuster77 ยท 265 points ยท Posted at 00:19:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This needs more upvotes!
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 00:45:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:13:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel so lonely down here in no one will read town.
GodlessPaul ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:15:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
+1
gokuudo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:13:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haqhahahahahaha.... can you find the q? O_O
Kevinement ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:03:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's right after "the" and before "?"
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:18:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
crtl+F'd to find this, upvote.
igotthisone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:31:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
BillMurrayismyFather ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:52:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
Wacov ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:37:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
ShortkneePanda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:41:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My only regret is that I have but one upvote to give.
baked_potato_cakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dis
tanooki_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
don't upboat this: some irrelevant post
poneil ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:17:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
TheRealRose ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:45:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm even later than you there's no way anyone sees this. I'm going to bed hopefully this doesn't blow up when I'm asleep
Edit: Darn it didn't blow up
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:07:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username
Shmoopled ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:17:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably gonna get buried but...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:00:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
k.
influenza06 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ctrl+f late
matty2714 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This will probably get buried
RitAblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally read this, but alas, I am no one.
Jesta_lurker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I read that I think... 'shouldn't I be here? If this guy was late, then I must be realllly late'
Radeon760 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This will probably be buried but...
NehEma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did.
tacitmutant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha.
sluuuurp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very late here so no one will read this.
ParallelMrGamer ยท 2369 points ยท Posted at 21:15:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course I got my highest comment on my alt account.
BrightShadowHunt ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 22:51:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory thanks for the gold kind stranger! !! xDDD
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 00:40:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably going to be downvoted for this, but DAE think Bernie Sanders should be president?
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:45:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 00:53:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hijacking the top comment just to say this
BaconisComing ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:44:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Savage!
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:07:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/circlejerk
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DIE
BrightShadowHunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My Haters are my motivators!!! xDDDD
SpiderOnTheInterwebs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:30:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here's the thing...
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:11:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol circlejerk is leaking, am I right?
ProbablyNotSteve ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:14:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scrolled down just for this comment. I was gonna say the exact same thing.
ademnus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:08:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
REPOST!
Beetrain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:23:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then you look and it has like 250 upvotes.
thesplendor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
CaptThunderThighs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's for porn, might as well be honest about it, it is your "alt" account, after all.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:58:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: All this gold and I'm on a throwaway. :(:(
BC_Sally_Has_No_Arms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AAAAAAHHH MAKE IT STOP PLEASE FREAKIN STOP okay I'm good carry on
extrabec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This whole thread has me so confused for a minute.
nickster182 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:17:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this r/circlejerk ?
BreakDownSphere ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Circlejerkers.
Malthusian1 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/circlejerk
JackRyan13 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck do people havt alts for reddit
ParallelMrGamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoting and commenting on porn would be my guess.
OlliFevang ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 22:47:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Source: Am redditor.
LuigiEatsPopcorn ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 23:16:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a X, can confirm.
JtheE ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:48:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As confirm, can X.
diditalforthewookie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:52:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe I had to scroll down so far to see this.
lphaas ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:18:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one especially bugs me, because not only is it unnecessary, it's just blatant bragging about a post's popularity.
thebestisyetocome ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:28:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/circlejerk is leaking guise amiright???
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
le reddit army xD
HowManyCaptains ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:01:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/circlejerk is a bunch of people acting out what they hate for the sole purpose of getting karma out of context for doing the exact things that they despise. What?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:09:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WE DID IT REDDIT!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:37:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All over ur mom. huuuuh-huh
valvilis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too thanks.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thanks mr skeletal
anincompoop25 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:55:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/CancerousEdits
Moxy-The_Blogical ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The upboats are my favorite!!
Obligatory "Edit: words"
WhoShotJunior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
kobebeef24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a great example https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3f9hfl/what_is_a_big_nono_in_cooking/ctmosya
Tallest9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
update on inbox pls
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Inbox is:
โ Not REKT
โ REKT
โ REKTangle
โ SHREKT
โ REKT-it Ralph
โ Total REKTall
โ The Lord of the REKT
โ The Usual SusREKTs
โ North by NorthREKT
โ REKT to the Future
โ Once Upon a Time in the REKT
โ The Good, the Bad, and the REKT
โ LawREKT of Arabia
โ Tyrannosaurus REKT
โ eREKTile dysfunction
RelativetoZero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This had it all and became what it was mocking. This post is like watching Anakin become Darth Vader.
Shishakli ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:02:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
50 up votes, 3 comments
dinosquirrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up phaget
RuthlessGreed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
d_smogh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did someone say GOLD?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
EDIT 6: Toot toot
0069 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But OP's mom really is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine..
bjsy92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nobody has ever said upboats seriously
WayneQuasar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*downvoted to oblivion
influenza06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory something...
BenjaminDanklinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THIS ISN'T THE BATHROOM
Ninjakillzu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ALLL AAABOOOAAARRDDD THE 5G TRAIN!
Indiana_Moans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory .......... Edit
dtrmp4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
welcome to /r/circlejerk
VampireSurgeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upboats
realsurfinrainbow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
how are you still on reddit if that makes you hate someone?
EDIT: forgot how to spell
EDIT: lol forgot a question mark
Ipsider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm honestly not sure if these people don't see us complaining about this, or don't care.
Not_A_Unique_Name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
Incase it isn't clear I mean that "this" should be added to the list.
Uesugi_Kenshin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the final edit is missing, be creative!
GnashtyPony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
am grill btw xD
BrownieBawse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
EDIT 6: guys please check out my mixtape and like my facebook page
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:46 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw the thumbnail, and still clicked it. At this point it's just my excuse to shamelessly listen to that song.
[deleted] ยท 1083 points ยท Posted at 18:04:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Edit 252VIIIXXX!!11: Great. Now my two thousand fifty third highest rated comment is a penis joke.
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 18:15:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
El_Profesore ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:38:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really, really want to downvote all of you.
Ann Frankly, I did nazi that coming.
fanboat ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:55:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the old reddit Ann Frankly, I did nazi that coming-aroo!
valvilis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:06:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hold the attic door, I'm going in!
fanboat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Risky click of the day!
magicsparkles12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally this
God_Damnit_Nappa ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:14:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: front page! Thanks guys :D
jbw10299 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:17:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao
It's funny because reading further down the thread there are a lot of comments that are doing this, and not doing it sarcastically.
Dolphin_Titties ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this now your top comment?
techniforus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still nope. We'll see where it ends though.
techniforus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, now the gold comment up top is actually my top comment. They recently changed capping and scores are running higher, so not too surprising. I'm sure it won't stay my top comment for too long.
Lyktan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this fucking sucks.
allwecaretopay ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:46:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol you guys thought you were gonna get gold
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My thing about that is well yeah, if your comment wasn't about that it wouldn't be up voted
nooneremembersyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THIS.
mormotomyia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
something something melts steel beams. memes
anincompoop25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/CancerousEdits
Mage_of_Shadows ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:42:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait what was originally the comment before the edit?
techniforus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't edit those comments. I'm just saying what I dislike.
Mage_of_Shadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This part
techniforus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, that was the whole original post. Though I got gold on it eventually, that wasn't an edit, it was my answer to this thread.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:46:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And now my top comment is about poop
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:50:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
we did it reddit! xd
Gurchimo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:13:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
xD
ZobmieRules ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:30:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
XDDDDD
delta_wardog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:02:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to hear about your inbox. My condolences.
TheRedComet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:33:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like nobody ever unchecks the "send replies to my inbox" option...
IoncehadafourLbPoop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:43:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I like your name
thewhiskey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never got this. If your inbox is getting a lot of messages, then its alive. If it had no activity then it would be dead and then its appropriate to say RIP.
NAN001 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
tjobarow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is /r/circlejerk leaking?
CobraStrike4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate XD so much. Almost instantly after you type that, my image of who you are drops to an 15 year old.
JeornyNippleton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What does it mean? I'm confused. I just assume by context that is is some kind of squinting Japanese face or something. Like being giddy.
CobraStrike4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's it, it's just a face with a smile and squint basically. Its just so exclusively used by 15 year olds and lower that im programmed to think the same about everyone.
It just has an air of doucheness I cannot explain.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RIP op's inbox lolz
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my ripbox
calicotrinket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So basically /r/circlejerk
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
irrelevant line jump to try to catch this karma train way too late
KSFT__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol
poopytroopy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Brother!
earthcharlie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks stranger for popping my gold cherry!
nonameDanK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any kind of emote, especially "xD".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
m'inbox
doneitnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Risky click.
sambro36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
[deleted] ยท 1502 points ยท Posted at 17:26:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost worse than the front page acceptance speech
[deleted] ยท 2903 points ยท Posted at 19:00:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 180 points ยท Posted at 20:35:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or, "RIP My inbox" as if they're dreading the fact that they're getting some sort of social attention for once in their deluded lives.
LostMyPasswordNewAcc ยท -65 points ยท Posted at 22:21:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What makes you think that someone who writes a harmless little sentence like that has to be living a socially isolated, deluded life? If you make such huge assumptions about people that quickly, then I'd hate to be around you.
Cobaltcat22 ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 22:38:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
^someone who writes "rip my inbox" on his posts
LostMyPasswordNewAcc ยท -46 points ยท Posted at 23:06:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I rarely post, and when I do, they don't get a significant number of responses. Remember, assumptions are bad.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 23:45:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are assumptions bad?
It seems to me, in normal daily life, that not making assumptions is pretty wreckless and can put yourself in a dangerous position.
IWillNotLie ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 01:08:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not the guy you responded to, but if you don't make assumptions, you rely on facts and if you rely on facts alone, how can you be called reckless?
SadKangaroo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:30:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep the replies coming, guys!"
Barely_adequate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:40:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because you make an assumption that someone won't stop at that light and you don't get t-boned in an intersection.
verheyen ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 02:42:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does common sense and safe driving skills correlate to you being a cunt to someone online?
ponyswag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me it feels like they act as if it's their personal chat with some mates, and not a post on a forum with 10 mill subscribers, having their own discussions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See his username.
verheyen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Harsh downvotes. I do agree though. What is the big deal in saying things like "front page? Thanks!"
Reddit goes from bitching about peoples manners to being cunts in a heartbeat. This community is one of the most arbitrary I have ever seen.
Diablos_Advocate_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a "big deal" just because people are bitching about it online
verheyen ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A somewhat bigger than average deal then, smartarse. I am not comparing it to the holocaust, I just mean whenever these questions appear people love bitching about something such as 'Thanks for the gold' or 'thanks people for responding to my post enough that conversation ensues'.
Why do people feel the need to put others down for simply appreciating that someone took the time to recognise their input?
It's petty.
Diablos_Advocate_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:59:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, people like to bitch about shit that annoys them. We're doing it ourselves with these comments and its the whole point of the thread.
To me, those types of comments are usually vapid, unoriginal and reek of self-congratulation rather than appreciation. But we all do annoying shit. Why is it "putting people down" to say it annoys me when people make trite comments online?
It's just as petty to get so offended by people's complaining, so this is really a pot calling the kettle black situation here.
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 23:31:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
mynewaccount5 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:33:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and half the responses he makes are "good point" or "lol"
Shocel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol
Spunge14 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 01:55:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually like this one. It's kind of endearing to imagine someone so overwhelmed by the perception of positive attention.
thejimla ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:30:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, just wanted to say great reply! What made you think of that reply?
SuchCoolBrandon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Other than an AMA, is this even expected?
BilllisCool ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:10:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love how they think we care about the OP on a popular /r/askreddit thread.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:34:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got 7000 messages in my inbox but I'm still reading!!
TimeIsWaiting ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:13:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God that pisses me off so much. We care about the topic, you the poster are irrelevant to us. Stop cluttering the page by filling the top post with your useless drivel.
ballzntingz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:17:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Internet party is a great way to think of it and though.
mrhighspeed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is hysterical because I always cringe when I see people post this. Gotta live up that 15 minutes of reddit fame
TylerTJ930 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:15:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't host internet parties?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... that's pretty much what it is at that point.
dankmernes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am the Spuds McKenzie of reddit.
smackythefrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If Seinfeld were still going on today, I imagine Kramer's talk show would be kind of like this.
Jordanistan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow what a g-g-great audience!
Jambi95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait...so I brought the cups for nothing?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL 'internet party'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or a telethon
tbss153 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:17:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but are they not doing just that?
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 23:16:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, since no one cares who created the post. Unless we're talking about one of those truly historic reddit posts, no one will ever remember OP's name. There's no point in acting like you're gaining renown in the community or some shit.
Also just the amount of shitposts, circlejerks, reposts and similar stuff that shows up on the front page makes it kind of silly to act like it's some kind of achievement to get there.
Kirstie_Ally ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 23:36:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So basically, and correct me if i'm wrong, anyone getting excited about anything pisses people off. Joy must be terminated wherever it is found, because they are somehow being a prick for not understanding how little people think that they matter. I think i get it..
CaptainJacket ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:16:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you giving spinning classes?
verheyen ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to reddit.
Bob_Droll ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:58:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think front-page posts are usually more like the party in Project X. You make a post in a small subreddit, people tell their friends, starts picking up speed, and then it hits the front page and everybody and their dog shows up. By that time, OP has completely lost containment and can only sit back and watch. If OP even dares to comment at that point, all the party-goers will see it as intent to regain some of that lost control, revolt, and downvote OP to hell.
There, however, some truly magnificent OPs that can handle the pressure and keep the post contained. And boy, do they ever rake in the comment karma.
your_uncle_mike ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh idk...it seems like the OP's comments get upvoted for the most part, no?
bayoubengal223 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably because you only ever see the upvoted OP comments.
jbanks9251 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't they?
doneitnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of people who upload songs to YouTube.
"Oh wow thanks for the million views, guys, I won't disappoint you!" - Death_XxX_Slayer who uploaded a Metallica song.
larenardemaigre ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:04:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that exactly what they're doing?
I_ama_Borat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:52:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what the worst part about this is? When people say this about an r/AskReddit post. They didn't do it for you, they just thought the question was interesting. Nothing more.
ROFLance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is worse, because he overwrote the actual comment that got him gold with the edit. Unless that's all it was to begin with...
mrcollin101 ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 19:08:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"obligatory edit" it's not fucking obligatory you are an idiot.
bluerose1197 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:37:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OMG I had to read way to many comments under this before I understood what you were going for. I thought you actually edited to thank for the gold and edited out the original post. I was so confused trying to figure out what you didn't like. Man I'm slow today.
techniforus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:40:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, yea, the guy who gilded me did it on purpose just to cause that confusion.
oomio10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:44:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didnt get it till you explained it. so youre doing better than me
fishforfish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thank you!
edit: u/techniforus could have quoted that.
[deleted] ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 18:31:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instant downvote when someone does this, no matter how much I agree with his or her original point.
"Oh, Hitler was bad, I agree with tha- oh, wait, no, there's a gold edit. Too bad."
CeruleanTresses ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:15:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, something like "Edit: Thank you!" seems okay to me. I'd want to thank someone who spent money on me. It's the "kind stranger" ones that make me cringe.
Geter_Pabriel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:50:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can reply to the message saying you got good to thank them. No need to edit!
Mekfal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:01:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't you make the gift anonymous? or does it not matter?
LordOfTurtles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The upvote isn't a "I agree" button in the firstplace...
Jaksuhn ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:35:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's also not a "like/dislike" button. It's for content which contributes to the conversation.
AtomicLizardSnake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:33:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
okay
luckytaurus ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:53:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GOLD TRAIN WOO WOO!
Hate those fuckers. Mainly because they actually get gold.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:59:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thistokenusername ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:34:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up
EmmaBourbon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Choo choo Motherfuckah
impreprex ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:22:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And it's always typed the same exact way.
mbleslie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:24:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2 hours and no gilding in sight. let's check back in a few hours
springsoon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:31:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gold showed up you just missed it!
techniforus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It -just- happened now. Right after I made that response.
springsoon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:56:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, what are the odds?
thedistrbdone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
r/donttellmetheodds
techniforus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:27:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not gold fishing, I'm saying what makes me dislike someone. In fact, it may even be better without gold, all the more reason for hate. I just wish so many people didn't downvote me because I did a good job at answering this question and now they hate me.
Cardboardboxkid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:57:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And now you don't even need to edit it to thank anyone for the gold! You clever bastard.
circletwerk2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I, too, (insert stupid shit here)!"
seniorbeard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
HD_ERR0R ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of editing and thanking, just PM the guy who gave you gold to thank them. Hate those people.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even worse than that is " edit: my top rated comment is about how I have my dog lick peanut butter off my asshole xD aha oh Reddit" literally no one cares about your top comment.
UserAndAJunkie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:51:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It took me longer than I'd like to admit to get the joke...
Originalluff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what? No. This frustrates the hell out of me. If some random stranger is going to spend their money on me, I find it incredibly rude not to say thank you. I'd do it in person, so why not on the internet too? What's so bad about thanking someone for doing something nice for you? The idea that its 'taboo' around here to edit and thank someone for their generosity is absolutely ridiculous.
techniforus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always send them a PM thanking them, you can do that even on anonymous gold.
DrxzzxrD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will be honest I spent a minute or two wondering why someone gave you golf for no reason/you over wrote your comment with the edit:xxxxx bit. I feel stupid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have an upvoat, good sir!
jsgunn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see this on every thread like this. What should a person who is guilded anonymously say?
techniforus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can hit reply right on the gold to send a PM to them even if it's anonymous.
jsgunn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Well, TIL.
LordOfPies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And of course, someone gave you gold.
dc_ae7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Narwhal Bacons at Midnight
EDIT: XD
EDIT2: OK STOP THE DOWNDANKS
EDIT3: KEEP DOWNDANKING, I DON'T CARE ABOUT ITNERNET POINTS
EDIT4: OK STOP I CAN SUE U FOR DOWNDANKING
EDIT5: PLLLSSSS TOPPPP DOWNDANKING ME PLS GUYS
uhaul26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. It took me a second to figure out why you erased the original comment.
broadcasthenet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or
or
Junius_Bonney ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
not_a_throwaway24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For a moment I forgot which thread I was reading and wondered what the hell you originally said!
Notmyrealname ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "Thanks for the Gold"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One time some cop told a story about a mutilated baby he saw, I felt something inside me after reading that. Then I see... "Edit: Gold, for me?" Ruined it immensely.
gonebraska ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
Devanismyname ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: omg!!!!
ZachZim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read this comment and had no clue what you were talking about. Then I remembered the thread I was in. Haha
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brain hurted a bit at first seeing the comment and the gold. I was so confused on what you put, then it dawned on me.
Evilsqirrel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The gilding made this the most meta comment I've seen in a long time.
anincompoop25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/CancerousEdits
schwebz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I forgot the context of the thread and this really confused me for a minute.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, which one of you did this?
LucasKeiglestein ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have an up vote
Hoedoor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even mind this but damn that was clever
Skylord_ah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:38:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT WAS THE ORIGINAL COMMEN- oh...
Simicrop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, for a second I forgot what this thread was about and got soooo confused.
aneasymistake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:02:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
+1,000,000
Anything greater than one, in fact.
MysteriousDev ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:27:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't look down.
DirgeofElliot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:04 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do these verbatim posts always get gilded? It's like a Reddit phenomenon
techniforus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:04 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The guy who gilded this saw it rising and found it a funny joke to confuse people about if I did or didn't actually edit my post. Judging by the comments, his joke worked.
ehwaywah ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:43:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even worse
"Enjoy the lounge"
Sabre2230 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:54:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol the lounge is a fuckin joke anyway. I got gold for some dumb comment I made and didn't know what the hell to do with it. Granted, I appreciate that somebody liked whatever I said enough to spend money, but my experience taught me that gold is way overrated
CaptainJacket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The marked read posts are very nice, but that's about it.
techniforus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, yea.
BTW, non-sarcastically, happy cakeday.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:00:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
iamalwaysrelevant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:30:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, yea.
BTW, non-sarcastically, happy cakeday.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Animus_X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except high school English teachers
iHateReddit_srsly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:26:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: Wow, I can't believe my most upvoted comment is about agreeing with someone.
Edit: Wow! Thanks for the kind, gold stranger.
Edit: What /u/PM_ME_UR_POOP said (also, relevant username xD!)
Edit: Why all the sudden downvotes?
Edit: Haha, nevermind.
Edit: Typo
Edit: I GET IT. I spelt "this" wrong. You don't have to keep reminding me.
Edit: Leaving the typo back to how it originally was. I like it this way.
Yeah, I definitely agree with tihs.
Peentown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There should be an option to revoke the gold you have given, in case you accidentally give one of those twats gold.
Imagining them feeling shame and disappointment as they realize what happened and eventually regret their abysmal edit gives me pleasure. And it has the bonus effect of people finally learning to not do that anymore!
mayorbryjames ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I did nazi that coming. I came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you.
You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. This stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Circlejerk must be leaking.
This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle.
eTron000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Another relevant post from /u/Poem_for_your_sprog posted here.
ComradeRoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously you're just jealous of the gold.
techniforus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yea... that's not it. I've got plenty of gold. It's about ruining the rhythm of a post.
burntcornflakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My plan for when I get my first gold is to put "Edit: If you thought I would thank you for the gold, you're goddamn wrong."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Say "you're goldamn wrong" instead and you'll start a stupid pun chain and get 5 more golds.
-Bana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know this going to be buried bu.....SHUT THE FUCK UP!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Zomg fake free internet points! !!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got gold very new to reddit and thought i was following community protocal. Now i hate that i made that edit lol.
SkyPork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait .... you wrote this before you got the gold....?
techniforus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, it's about what makes me dislike someone after all.
JdoesDDR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We did it reddit XD
andresedm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't it be rude to not thank them? Do you hate all thank you edits or just that exact phrase?
Eirixoto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I.. I thought you edited out the actual phrase to say thanks for the gold facepalm
EatMoreCupcakesNow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gold edit is polite.
secopree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that someone gave you gold for this makes me really mad.
Gadarn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comes up every single time someone asks this question and I still don't get it.
It's just good manners to thank someone when they do something nice for you. Why do some people hate it when someone does the polite thing and thanks the person who spent some real money on them?
weinerish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edit 7: Wow, more gold, thanks kind stranger
darkblue217 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where did the comment that GOT gold go..?
techniforus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, that's it, I didn't edit it.
CGiMoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaaaand it's overused
OneAct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I ask why thanking someone for gilding is viewed negatively? Do you think they are bragging or what? I don't see why this rubs people the wrong way.
IAmGnome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when they add "obligatory". IT'S NOT FUCKING OBLIGATORY.
Booty_Bumping ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it really a crime to thank someone giving you reddit gold?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ayy lmao
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why this bothers people so much... "Oh no, somebody is happy!"
I_Enjoy_Taffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never understand this complaint. They're just grateful and expressing their appreciation. God forbid someone be courteous.
btburrito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This^
boombeyada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are now a moderator of /r/circlejerk
kamgar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I got guilded, a second person gave me gold with the message, "here's some gold for not making that stupid thanks for gold edit"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late to the thread so my comment will probably get buried :P
yuriydee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. Literally this.
Mutoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just wish you were the guy who got gilded.
techniforus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm fine without more, I've got plenty, so jealousy is not the issue.
carolinesavictim ยท 5276 points ยท Posted at 15:15:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
SO MANY THINGS. (I work in advertising)
โข Touch base โข Flesh it out โข Itโs in my wheelhouse โข It's on my radar โข Low hanging fruit โข Think outside the box โข Positive momentum โข On my plate โข Run the numbers โข Touch points โข Get the ball rolling โข Bang for your buck โข Close the deal โข When the rubber hits the road โข Shift paradigm โข Move the needle โข Game-changing โข Move the goal post โข Value added โข Win-win โข All hands on deck โข Synergy
double_ewe ยท 1725 points ยท Posted at 15:44:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
at the end of the day, i think we just need to take this conversation offline and circle back. i'll put together a deck and we can jump on a call to argue about slide formatting for a couple hours.
carolinesavictim ยท 329 points ยท Posted at 15:50:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, lord. A deck. You know what you can do with your deck?
double_ewe ยท 540 points ยท Posted at 15:52:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
socialize it across the key stakeholders?
carolinesavictim ยท 416 points ยท Posted at 15:57:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look, I want you to run with this. Really own it... but think about how we can increase mind-share with our target demo: Millennials. HAVE YOU EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT THE DELIVERABLES ARE?
And make it go viral.
potatohats ยท 306 points ยท Posted at 15:59:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You guys, this conversation is making me nauseated.
carolinesavictim ยท 319 points ยท Posted at 16:01:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean this...powwow?
potatohats ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 16:16:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gag Excuse me.
PMME_yoursmile ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:07:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! Get back in the huddle! You're ruining our synergy!
SlackJawCretin ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 19:26:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let him go. Now that we cut the fat we can really knuckle up and put our noses to the grindstone
ilikebourbon_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...where do you guys work?!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:45:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here's are three hints: "the morning star", "most unclean", "wailing and gnashing of teeth"
Diablos_Advocate_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:06:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, Walmart.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:19:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damnit. Clever hobbitses.
Cambridge_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:04:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckville
littleacorns313 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:22:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like a deep dive on this subject so we can have this issue brought to the table with baked-in information. If that's not good enough, we'll take it off line and do a drill down so push back is minimal. The focus should be robust!
hirjd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:16:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can we please just focus on the bottom line here people?
cmdrqfortescue ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:11:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am literally crying with laughter right now.
Ctkevb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:50:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I die a little inside everytime I see one of these buzzword threads. I need a new line of work.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:34:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's more of a touchbase. But let's not get hung up on the details, we're talking big picture after all.
Sajun ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:01:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You two really need to take this conversation offline.
sudowned ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, no, this is really more of a knowledge transfer.
polloretardo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:54:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me know if you will be attending today's scrum meeting. The Scrum master wants to know if you are over allocated in case he needs to reassign tasks to hit all sprint goals.
saracuda ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:38:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How's our velocity doing? I'm looking at the burn down and it looks like we'll be hitting our release target for beta to client. Think you could point those feature stories for me so I can get an overview of the Video Feature epic?
Also, I need clarification on the scrum meeting. Daily Stand-Up, Sprint Review, Sprint Planning Meeting? I got like 10 meetings going on.
where_is_carmen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:35:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is what nightmare's are made of. As a project manager, this comment makes me PTSD.
polloretardo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:03:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone that never wants the letters PMP to follow my business title, I applaud you for doing what others won't.
-excrement- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why he makes the big bucks...
saracuda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:07:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently the Project Manager and "Director of QA" - the QA team being me, myself, and I. This is my life. I'm so sad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But hey, you have "Director" in your title.
lumberjenny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
don't get your undies in a bundle!
hongkonglayout ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:46:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like you need to level set
rockymountainpow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice use of the correct term
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:23:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My deliverables aren't back from creative yet. I hate to bust their chops, but we need to strike while the iron is hot. This round of collateral should really nail it.
exelion ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:24:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love that Marketing has its own language, and that language literally has about 9000 words for "nothing".
DrJulianBashir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhhhhh boy . . .
exelion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, I meant it. There's so much buzzspeak in marketing these days that's no unreasonable.
skesisfunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is corporate office lingo in general not limited to marketing.
CaptainApathy419 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:59:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was once asked by a higher-up to make something "go viral." I said, "Sure, I'll just hit the 'viral' button." He did not laugh.
Sajun ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:02:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Undoubtedly this is because he was pondering whether or not said button actually exists.
itswhywegame ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:15:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Quarter one was good, but we need to raise the bar because we're raising the stakes. Our team needs to synergize better. I want our brand to really pop, so let's all have a little powwow.
TheseIronBones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:57:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Q1. I don't think I've heard someone say the word quarter in about 4 years.
Pocket change not withstanding.
itswhywegame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, I now know why I was never able to make it in marketing!
frazaod ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:22:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a graphic designer at a design agency. Barring "make it go viral"--which is absolutely unforgivable if someone has actually said that to you--I got bombarded with these phrases every hour of every day. It's painful, but I got to draw tiny dicks on graphics that were used in Fortune 500 company websites, so it's ok.
i__cant__even__ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:39:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pics or it didn't happen.
nobodytoldme ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:39:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. This is NOT a claim to make without evidence.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://cbsg.sourceforge.net/cgi-bin/live
practicing_vaxxer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! Deliverables! i HATE DELIVERABLES!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I just say this? FUCK the corporate world and all of the meetings and phone calls and reviews and strategic planning and ALL OF IT. I find the people who use this kind of jargon are the most incompetent ones of them all.
MrWollyDood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
u wot m8?
ToxicLizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh my boss sent an email and was like "could management make sure this message is cascaded down to anyone I've missed?" Cascaded down? This isn't a waterfall
sirspidermonkey ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:51:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You really need to run it up the flag pole and see who salutes to the value added proposition. Then we can have an all hands on deck to get the ball rolling and show to get some stake holder buy in. Once we have that we can really monetize our assets.
Mukakis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:47:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it says something about my life that of all the comments I've seen on Reddit, this is the comment that made me openly laugh. I... I think it says something bad.
newloaf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:04:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the right answer right here.
808909707 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:20:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...but only if you get buy in
hellegance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
eff-brill!
the1990sjustcalled ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to kill you, LOL
haagiboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:08:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends if you are running a green-black or a blue mill deck.
laddyofthelake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:10:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
monetize it as a service to create an evergreen revenue stream to boost core value?
RamblerWulf ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:21:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fill it with mana, instants, creatures, enchantments, and sorcerys?
Viatos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:52:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, everyone, look at this flesh-peasant, it can't even into Phyrexia
arachnophilia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this comment compleats me.
cuddlesnuggler ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:16:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just run it up the flagpole and see who salutes.
JDefined ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:31:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!!!!!
Sir_Foxworth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:23:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A question that many Magic players lose sleep over.
Ravengm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:26:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Play Emrakul on turn 3?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:18:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like animals on my deck.
AlbertaBoundless ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:12:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've got a nice deck, /u/carolinesavictim .
carolinesavictim ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:15:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How you doin'?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Summon a hydra!
Macfrogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAIL HYDRA
randomzinger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not much. Not drawing any mana...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Play strip poker?
hungry4pie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
swash it?
Torquelewith12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Take it, turn it sideways, and shove it straight up your candy ass?
Captain_Meatshield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not entirely, I'm new to this "Magic" thing.
justcallmezach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We were just wondering the other day where the fuck the term 'deck' even came from in this context. Never used it at my old company. Where I work now, I'm pretty sure our project managers have a 6 use per day quota they need to hit.
NotDiabl0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shove it up his ass?
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
correct.
ffxivthrowaway03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Put it up on the projector, clearly.
God I fucking hate that word.
jakemg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird, I've just started hearing this around the office in the past two years or so. For ten plus years before that, we just called it a PowerPoint. Now all the sudden someone wants me to send them "an updated deck."
videogamesdisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least it's not a webex, or a skype. Anything but skype. If we're not dating, I don't want to see what you look like.
RunOfTheMillMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shuffle it?
RelativetoZero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know how to maintain a deck http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hkmeoYKYctw
Or do I have the wrong ideal?
tadpole64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Activate my trapcard and send you to the shadow realm?
icandoesbetter ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:48:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(โฏยฐโกยฐ๏ผโฏ๏ธต โปโโป
RobinBankss ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:56:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever somebody begins speaking with "At the end of the day..." my brain completes the sentence with "...the sun goes down" and I miss part of their little speech, providing me with another opportunity to fill in a blank. It's win-win.
fubo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... you're another day older.
1SweetChuck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:36:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This is hilarious as I'm sitting on a call that was supposed to start 2 hours ago, but was pushed back 30 minutes because something wasn't ready, and then an hour after it was supposed to start for the second time it was pushed back another hour so the team could go get lunch...
EDIT: and now it's not happening at all today... so much for that roll out.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:31:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Way to skate ahead of the puck. Lets leverage our human capital to do some high level thinking and circle back in the am.
damn_dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NOT THE AM. Dear God, please. No.
grotskylilbiotch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:05:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One time, out loud, in front a room of male colleagues, I said the phrase, "Man, I've got to my hands on that deck!". It was a weird few moments.
hotarume ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:15:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Market Researcher here) DEAR LORD, I can't count how many times this has happened.
comic_serif ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:21:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All of my coworkers like to use the phrase "hop on a call" and so in my silent form of rebellion I do my absolute best to rephrase my entire email so I do not use that phrase.
That'll show 'em.
rglitched ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:55:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RAAAAGE. WE ARE NOT EVEN ONLINE. WE ARE IN A ROOM TOGETHER RIGHT NOW. IN A MEETING != ONLINE. AL;KFDJASDL;FJKSADF;LKASDJFDSA
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I just want to send out a quick note. I want to get everyone together for some dialogue so we can make sure everybody is level set so we really know how to wrap our arms around this. If you don't think this is value added, please advise.
jeffreymann ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The we can have a breakout meeting to discuss this one specific topic.
burrito987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
circle back... the red mist is descending...
maleia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I literally exploded reading that.
boooeee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TRIGGERED
Apkoha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't even come to me until you can give me the ROI
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A deck? Good yard, dude!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to be out of pocket, let's circle back on this convo next week.
choicemeats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This literally happened today.
SilverScorpian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one hurts.
TeddyBearSuicide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would, but I'm going to be out of pocket for the rest of the afternoon.
who_ate_the_cookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must know a few of my sales reps I deal with that end up having no technical knowledge which is what we wanted in the first place and specified!
poneil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey gang, let's loop Carla in. This is really more in her wheelhouse ever since the merger.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Gosh. I think you work here...
Razzal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah I'm just going to go ahead and throw that one back over the wall
not_a_throwaway24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, one of my bosses starts MANY of his sentences with "Look, at the end of the day..." and it cracks me up. He definitely has buzzwords he likes to use. A couple people around the office like to try to introduce new buzzwords during meetings and see which ones stick.
creathir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every. Single. Day.
MysteriousDrD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Taking a conversation offline' is a super useful way to say 'shut the fuck up and let this meeting end Jesus Christ' though so I'll allow it.
Ozziefrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am SO glad to see I'm not the only one who has to listen to this bullshit all day long
Gstayton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... Reminds me of a show I recently finished... My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU I think... Don't recall which season either...
DipIntoTheBrocean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
So moving forward, I'll reach out to our stakeholders and circle back with you on any traction we get on the value-adds. Either way, our next steps will be taking care of the low hanging fruit and getting easy wins that we can present back to the business.
And oh my god there's this one guy that says "net-net" instead of "bottom line" which is an antiquated financial term turned corp speak and now his entire team parrots that shit. All I hear is "SO. The net-net is" "the net-net is" "anyways, the net-net is"
I fucking hate corporate speak. Just talk like normal people, goddamn it!
aksumighty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not in advertising, all I did was go meet a friend at his office at the end of the day.
I've never heard the word "ACTIONABLE" so many times in my fucking life.
Targaryen-ish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wat
Buckwhal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SubredditSimulator is that you?!?
jseego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
UGGGGGGGHHH
barto5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here looking for that.
Dalisca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, you just described my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I...I think you guys must work with me...
jaxxon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear you. At the end of the day, it is what it is. I've got back to back meetings but send me and invite and we can iron out the details. The initiative we are working on will be a real game changer. This is gonna move the needle big time. Totally disruptive.
RobotPixie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oops I say "let's discuss offline" all the time because it's apparently not professional to say "stop talking, no one cares" to a colleague.
msmcg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just last weekend I had some kids on my deck.
unwholesome ยท 2914 points ยท Posted at 15:25:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is when people say "flush it out" when they mean "flesh it out." MOTHERFUCKER WE'RE NOT HUNTING QUAIL
InfinitelyAbysmal ยท 427 points ยท Posted at 16:56:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy who mixed up "beating a dead horse" and beat around the bush". Came out like "beating around a dead horse."
Naturally we all started saying there was no need to beat off a dead horse when we were around him.
_BindersFullOfWomen_ ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 23:22:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had a guy on my one my teams say "we'll burn that bridge when we come to it."
LexicalGap17 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:26:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is "That train has sailed, my friend."
modelturd ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:52:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to say, "it's not rocket surgery". I'm surprised at the number of people who don't get it is a joke.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/trailerparkboys
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/trailerparkboys
weedful_things ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:08:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have been known to say this on purpose. It sounds like a Rickyism.
dryfire ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:25:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of people say that one. I usually hear it used jokingly when talking about future steps in a project where everything has gone wrong.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:15:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/trailerparkboys
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:17:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking hilarious
SuperCow1127 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:32:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a boss once who did not get idioms. One of my favorites of his was "The horse won't drink the water! The horse is an asshole!" (You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least he wasn't beating off a dead horse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard this happen at least 5 times.
MarkSampson10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHA! My wife does shit like that. I'm seriously laughing! ..but when she does it, it's cute..
housebrickstocking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beating around in dead horse bush?
ShortkneePanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beating a dead bush
marinewannabee97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you work with george bush jr?
ineedanid ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funny story, it never occurred to me what "beat around the bush" meant until I was like 17. It wasn't until one day I was daydreaming in class having some shower thoughts that it clicked. I then realized that since I was like 10 I had been saying this in various formal settings directly to teachers, parents, girlfriends family, etc. I was mortified.
pheonix8388 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:27:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't mean/ originate from what you think it does. It relates to flushing birds out of cover. This is a prelude to the shooting, which is the main event.
Macfrogg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:55:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what she said.
ineedanid ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually what I assumed for awhile. I guess people take it either way.
I_am_Andrew_Ryan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:49:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They shouldn't
fightingtrousers101 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:24:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure it refers to the act of beating; hitting bushes with sticks to scare birds into the air so they can be shot. No point beating around the bush.
doughudlud ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 17:41:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I literally just realized what this phrase means while reading your comment... Oh god...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:51:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
doughudlud ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:56:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine you are a teenager pre-internet porn. Imagine your hot neighbor is changing and their window curtains are open. Imagine there are bushes outside their window...
theniceguytroll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that would be "beating off in a bush."
Graffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a dirty phrase...
HalpTheFan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:13:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had a guy talk about a "grey line" for a while till I realised he was mixing 'grey area' and 'blurred line', I callee him out on it and he got mad.
Bricka_Bracka ยท 790 points ยท Posted at 15:56:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
.
p0rt ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:16:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like this answer.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:17:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Hateborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Damnit, Bill, stop being such a shit head."
hellegance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except it usually means the opposite.
pass_the_gravy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your idea is crap, and we're gonna flush it out.
librlman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe they're talking about cleaning their fleshlight. You know, out with the old jizz to make room for the new.
molassesqueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little ashamed to say I giggled out loud at the "stinky turd" portion of this comment.
But only a little.hahaha
RandomMandarin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Listen, you ungrateful bastards, when you're face to face with a stinky turd situation, and you need a stinky turd intervention, you're gonna come crawling, begging for some of my stinky turd ideas.
Glewisguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The... Shit... Ideas...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:00:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm using this one. You flush (away the bad ideas) then flesh (out the good ones).
Which in this metaphor is... Also poop. I guess. Which you are then grafting human skin and organs onto. Because business and maximum synergistic parallel co-delivery infrastructure to facilitate optimum cross-stakeholder returns?
carolinesavictim ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:29:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen.
Also, I'm oddly glad it's not limited to just my office. I worry enough.
corundum9 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:32:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saaaaaaint Anger 'rrrround my neck
Mikeman101 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:06:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A guy in one of my meetings said that we were going to get "raped over the coals." That is NOT how it goes.
tylee24 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't use hunt and quail together in a sentence!"
unwholesome ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:29:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd never seen the Lewis Black bit about quail hunting until now--thanks for the tip!
Jonreadbeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not?
Encyclopedia_Tom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:58:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could give you gold for this comment. I'm going to scream "motherfucker we're not hunting quail!" in my next update meeting when someone says "flush it out"
dunaja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you understand. Steve clogged the toilet again.
rchan9487 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they're referencing St. Anger
Jonreadbeard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love to hunt quail.
CUNT_GRINDER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Oatmeal explains this here.
exzyle2k ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about snipe? Can we go snipe hunting?
unwholesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just as soon as you get me my headlight fluid.
exzyle2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm all out... But I've got a barely used left-handed whisk I can let you borrow.
WearTheFourFeathers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always interpreted it as you're flushing the good idea/heart of the matter/etc out of hiding, like a bird dog flushing out a bird during a hunt. Alway seemed like a relatively intuitive idiom to me.
TheSTEF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
flesh meaning meat... you're adding more detail/more meat to something, like an outline, description or idea.
WearTheFourFeathers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha no I get it, I just think both phrases make sense. They're just entirely different idioms based on totally different imagery that mean marginally similar (if not exactly equivalent) things.
Webster's thoughts...to me, a lot of the time when you "flesh out" the idea you also "flush out" the truth of what you're getting at.
Waronmymind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the meaning, never heard of it before.
Golanthanatos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
maybe they'd rather be hunting quail.
happy_eroind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Quail was not where I went with "flush it out". It seems like a great euphemism for dealing with bad ideas
MirrorWorld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But people use it to mean making things more complete. Like adding images and copy to an ad.
happy_eroind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know "flesh it out" and had never encountered the 'flush it out' mispronunciation so my mind immediately went 'POO! their ideas are poo and they are flushing them away cackle'
hchan1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably played too much WC3.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Flesh it out is definitely sexual
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also read The Oatmeal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh thank god.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a couple of my old (black) partners at a shop I worked at used to say "fleece it out". also he'd say "blasรฉ blasรฉ" instead of "blah blah blah"
it was infuriating, but whatever, he was a good guy.
edit- also, "choppin' it up" = "chillin' and having conversation with someone"
BAMspek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell does flesh it out mean? It sounds brutal.
insultant_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did this today and my employee called me out. I deserve the embarrassment.
okletstrythisagain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but i think the actual phrase is supposed to be "flush it out," as an analogy to driving out game to see what's available. "Flesh it out" just doesn't make sense unless we're like Dr. Frankenstein or Reanimator or something.
tucci007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WE'RE NOT AT AN EMERGENCY EYE WASHING STATION SUCH AS THOSE FOUND IN LABORATORIES!!!
tiniature ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god. Similarly, I had a district manager who said "physical year" instead of "fiscal year". He already hated me, so I could never say anything about it, and everyone else didn't notice/was too afraid to say anything. Fucking rage inducing!
oOshwiggity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when people say shit wrong. "Chester drawers" instead of "chest of drawers" "sh/could of" instead of "sh/could have" "you're not the boss of me" when clearly I am...
Hawt_Dawg_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was "flush it out" I didn't realize I was saying it wrong
unwholesome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, there' is a "flush it out," which I associate with driving something out of hiding. You might flush a fugitive out of hiding. On the other hand, you "flesh out" something if it needs more detail. If you come up with a good bare-bones idea in a brainstorming session, you'll want to flesh it out later.
Msshadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to use this in my next human performance meeting.
birdhustler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a cold and you just incited a coughing fit. well done
dgmilo8085 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can also flush something out to "clarify" as in smooth out a board to "make flush" or according to Merriam-Webster to clarify figuratively as in "flush out the truth"
Opset ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Flush it out' could work perfectly well, too, though. When you're building something and you want all the pieces to be even or 'flush'. It could mean you want everything to be level, done, complete, etc.
speteman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Both sayings are correct. Use flesh it out when you have the bones of the idea already in place but it needs to be "fleshed out" or put "meat on the bones." Use flush it out when you want to work through a situation and want to get everything discussed or cleared out.
Source: I looked it up once trying to figure out which was correct.
SteezeWhiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No they're talking about having an abortion instead of being a surrogate mother.
reisenman001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
goddamn this made me laugh in the office, out loud.
mangamaster03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The next time I hear "flush it out" that's how I'm going to respond.
montecristo7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not trying to get shot in the arse by prefame Bradley Cooper, no quail for me today thank you.
reeln166a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
โซ Saint anger 'round my neeeeck โซ
deimios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boss says this. Whenever I hear him say it, I take it to mean like flushing a turd and I giggle a bit inside.
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a meeting/conference thing, where they gave us a big piece of paper and colored markers/vivids/textas and asked us to have an 'idea shower about (insert inane strategy)'. We were a but confused, 'you mean, brain storm?'
"Well, storm has negative connotations, so we prefer idea shower. We would like to empower your creativity."
-_-
Pantsie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OH MY GOODNESS YES. A former boss used to talk about "flushing out" ideas all the time and every single time I involuntarily pictured a bunch of idea-birds frantically flapping away as he chased them down.
This was oddly not unlike what actually happened to ideas when they got around him.
KingBloops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/flesh_vs_flush
Imad_Temlali ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No were looking for oil!
nrbartman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get that with 'we have a lot of projects COMING DOWN THE PIKE'. I've always known it as COMING DOWN THE PIPE. Which to me makes a hell of a lot more sense, cause a pipe has a finite about of shit it can handle and a pike just has cars and trucks on it.
goodoldswarlz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I witnessed two different people say they were "adding X to the cue" within the same email string today. TWO PEOPLE.
Djbkallday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I happen to live on Flushing Quail dr.
macblastoff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I hear this faux pas, I think enema, not quail hunting.
Bam! Just changed your mental image.
PinkyandzeBrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think they might also mean "flush it out" AKA dumping the duece.
TheParagon_MarvelUni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Flush it out sounds better than flesh it out
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:47:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Flesh it out" just makes me think something sexual is going to happen.
officetitan ยท 2040 points ยท Posted at 17:27:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey there carolinesavictim,
Just wanted to touch base with you real quick and get the ball rolling on this new project. I'm heading the operation for this so I really want to add some positive momentum so that we can make this a win win when we close the deal.
Now as you know I have a lot on my plate but that doesn't mean I don't run the numbers! You are my top performer and believe me it's on my radar, you just memorize these touch points when the rubber hits the road and make sure to flesh it out so it sounds natural.
I think this project has what it takes to really move the needle buddy and this could very well be game-changing. I know it's common to grab some low hanging fruit to make things work but try to think outside the box!
Well hopefully you can shift some paradigms and move the goal post with this project carolinesavictim, we want to push that bang for your buck incentive. Usually I make the moves around here since it's in my wheelhouse but now you are in the drivers seat! It's all hands on deck right now! Remember! It's not value added unless it's synergy!!
carolinesavictim ยท 1241 points ยท Posted at 17:34:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to clap but also stab you.
mirshe ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 00:27:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
New protocol idea - Knife over IP (KOIP). This does require a knife built into every computer, though...
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:45:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who's fond of saying "the next Bill Gates will be whoever figures out how to punch someone through the internet"
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:08:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*fuck someone through the internet
analton ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:32:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's blocked due to a patents.
It's true. Look it up.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:34:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Teledildonics. No one has actually come up with a great system yet though.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:56:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am pretty sure I could supply the implementation for this. Please, let's go into business. I already have clients lined up.
MrAndersson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
KOIP, I'm so stealing that!! Synergy or not, it's brilliant :)
analton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Quick! Create a RFC.
1mikeg ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:27:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you stab hard enough it will make a clapping sound.
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:16:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's some excellent out-of-the-box thinking there Mike.
graymash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, clab away then.
adognameddave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the ole stab&clap
RubeusShagrid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Clapstab! Sh-shaaaa!
Hateborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A series of hard slaps sound like a slow clap, so you could always stab and slap at the same time...
TotallyNotanOfficer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not both?
sortagraceful ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:41:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your name is Mike and you're my ex-husband, right? He actually speaks like that to me and the kids. He's such an asshole.
carolinesavictim ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:55:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, you poor thing.
anima173 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:12:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm adding this to my LinkedIn profile.
grumpyoldham ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:16:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure I've received email.
More than once.
winja ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:54:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I have this exact conversation with my boss every week.
RedStag00 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:37:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look, we don't have to boil the ocean here, and there are many ways to skin a cat, so can we parking lot this discussion and circle back during the next touch point?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:42:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are... are you Satan?
dogssaygoodnight ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:02:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
twitch
ilikebourbon_ ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:16:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate "buddy". SO MUCH
MyWorldInFlames ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:47:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't like Canada then.
I call pretty much everyone buddy, and so do a lot of people I know. From my actual friends (Hey buddy, how's she going?), random people I accidentally bump into on the street (Oh sorry buddy, my bad), to jerks I'm being condescending to (Yeah okay buddy, whatever you say).
Most versatile word ever.
ilikebourbon_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's different. In US corporate culture it's soul sucking. I have a canadian friend who says it (that common?) and i feel nothing no ill will towards him...but put me in a suit and someone says it...i am going to die
rubiscoisrad ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:36:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incoming: "I'm not your buddy, pal.."
And so on and so forth.
Macfrogg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:12:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not your buddy, guy.
katha757 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:45:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap well done!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:28:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you, that just made my skin crawl.
RareBeautyEtsy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:29:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats! You almost made me throw my computer across the room! :-)
DvlMan3969 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:01:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's not boil the ocean here with that comment. We're in the eleventh hour, time to bucketize your ideas into the appropriate silos. Now let's accelerate our velocity and close the deal.
cantthinkofgoodname ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:42:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that first sentence made me click the lock button on my phone
Bears_On_Stilts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:44:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We found Patrick Bateman.
riskybiscuit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:34:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I stormed out of your office before you finished this
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But how will you monetize your momentum?
Macfrogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With synergy. Try to stay on the ball with this.
3literz3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a certain Pink Floyd song.
OuttaSightVegemite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck off.
DriedUpSquid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just embodied every middle manager I've ever known.
hydroprof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is every corporate memo. Ever.
scurvebeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is what bothered me most of all.
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have been promoted to Team Manager
pagirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i think there are people who make a living saying this shit.
TheCakeDayLie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like every corporate sales manager ever
misssusanstohelit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently unemployed but that made me want to email my old boss and resign again.
slipperypooh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I HATE when people call me buddy.
Dkeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit. You basically copied my entire outbox. I need to words better.
this1neguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SOREARU
LettersFormWords ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks as a non-native english speaker you made me get all of those real easy
BigMcLargeHuge- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omg that's me ๐
junkevin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, are you my manager?
8lackbird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget to make it feel premium; maybe something very bespoke.
courtarro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I felt the urge to translate this into normalspeak in case any managers were reading this and confused as to why it's being gilded.
Hello carolinesavictim,
I wanted to begin discussions on this new project, which I am leading and want to be successful. You are my most effective subordinate. You do well and present the material naturally. This project could be very important, and we must be creative as we make progress. You have the leading role and we need everyone's help, so it's important that everything work together.
regular-wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations! You're a project manager!
jdmoore04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You obviously deserve to make 400X what I do
MenacingErmine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-/u/officetitan
Sent from my iPhone.
eskaza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out.
I_want_hard_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My eye just twitched. I feel like calling my old job and quitting a second time.
Something_knew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
p.s. Keep up the laser focus and the crisp reporting!
cheeseday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not even employed at the moment and I can feel the pre-emptive stress building from all the shit you're about to handball my way.
Muropo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's some fine verbage right there
illfixyour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username
Tuxpc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:26 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry I had to send this via email, but I figured it was better than playing phone tag.
[deleted] ยท 191 points ยท Posted at 15:36:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
IICVX ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:37:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is one big fuckin' cat
CrazyBastard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying to think of methods for flaying a cat that are only possible at 30,000 feet and I am coming up blank.
Explosive decompression?
Actually_Arianne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've taken to responding to the cat one with, "I don't know. I've only ever done it the one way." When they laugh, I say "No seriously, I skinned a cat in high school." It was for anatomy and the cat was already dead, but do they really need to know that?
raka_defocus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I stepped outside of my role for second and put a fresh set of eyes on your statement.
marilyn_morose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It always tickles me to say, "There's more than one way to skin a cat than choking it with butter!" Close enough that many people simply gloss over it. Silly enough that once in a while I get a slight smile.
dunaja ยท 838 points ยท Posted at 16:14:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an elementary school teacher who has never spent a day in the "corporate" world. When my principal asked my team to put some data together on a Google sheet, we titled it "Synergistic Management Solutions" (after the Cards Against Humanity card) because we think business-speak is absolutely hilarious.
[deleted] ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 17:39:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FriscoGuy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:48:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty accurate.
-Lowest ranking desk jokey around
dukeslver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like you need to be a team player
xdressed2killx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you expect to win the MVP award with that attitude?
FriscoGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By being over qualified, helping out everyone and shutting the fuck up
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just got hired by Walmart and they had the same animations/artstyle for some of the training videos. It's kind of ironic, I guess, but I assume you can just hire the animator as a freelancer. So I suppose that was the point of the video, as it's common for businesses to use this kind of stuff.
WallsofVon ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 18:09:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ir gets so irritating rather quickly. The worst part, in my opinion, is that "business speak" is kind of ingrained into your mind after a few. I can't receive a simple phone call outside of work without answering the call professionally.
"Hello, you've reached WallsofVon, What can I do for you?"
"uuum... WallsofVon, we we're gonna go to the bar, wanna tag?"
dunaja ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 18:23:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thanks for touching base. Going to the bar is definitely in my wheelhouse."
bubba_feet ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 21:08:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i am properly incentiveized for the paradigm shift that relocating my assets to a bar stool will bring.
DocMN ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:53:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just have to ping my core team to see if dinner is still on the road map for tonight. I'll circle back with you in 20 to touch base about the "getting shit faced" time frame.
THAAANNKS
dukeslver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
let me be a team player and run a quick cost/benefit analysis of the nearby restaurants to optimize our food eating solutions.
i_ANAL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno about touching base but i'll happily bump uglies
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ism'in my wheel-house' another term for 'on my to do list'. Or is it 'that is within my skillset" ?
i_invented_the_ipod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More the latter. Apparently this term comes from baseball slang - it's the area within your strike zone where you can hit with the most power and control. And of course, it's the area of a boat where you steer the boat from.
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-05-09/features/ct-tribu-words-work-wheelhouse-20120509_1_star-power-business-cruise
Doodie_Face ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am going to brutally murder you with a baguette.
fetalasmuck ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:34:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mentioned something about "touching base" to my manager at my last job and immediately apologized. She looked sort of bewildered by my apology, so I told her how I loathe corporate speak, and then it looked like a wire crossed in her brain before she realized how much she hated it as well but it was so commonplace in her day-to-day life at work that she didn't even realize when people said it anymore.
bangorthebarbarian ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:31:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hoah.
practicing_vaxxer ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:38:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever been mistaken for an answering machine?
illyay ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:56:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, have you?
reisenman001 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:52:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have, and also for being a robot on the phone. Worked for comcast...
illyay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh reisenman001, you're just too bad!
reisenman001 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was sleepy, tired, and was just going through the motions of asking modem troubleshooting questions.
practicing_vaxxer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:57 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I spent about three weeks as a temp answering the phones because their automated system was down. I got so used to it that I started ending my spiel with, "And I, who am not an answering machine but a live human, will take your message." Eventually I got so smooth at saying that that they started waiting for the beep.
FluffySharkBird ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:51:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh. What can I do for you just sounds polite yet chill. I wouldn't think my friend was businessy for saying it
FluffySharkBird ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:50:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell my high school used a kind of "corporate speak." They wanted to "equip" us and other such useless phrases. Oooh are we building "leadership skills"????? TOO BAD YOU NEVER TELL US WHAT LEADERSHIP SKILLS ARE. TOO FUCKING BAD.
monkeyman427 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:10:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We had a class called "Strategies for success". The teacher made us memorize inspirational quotes and read to us from a self help book.
kombiwombi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:51:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God yes. My daughter's school was telling me about their "culture of excellence". I asked if she would be having fun. They thought I was taking the piss, but my question was serious.
JackLegJosh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:12:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work an office job and we're all pretty low-key; I too think corporate-speak is hilarious. But we've all got this one manager who doesn't seem to realize what a douchenozzle he is when he uses these terms intentionally, even trying to pioneer the new "buzzy" ones.
I mean, like a literal douchenozzle. Just squirting douche everywhere.
Girlinhat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:14:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love that you're an elementary school teacher who plays Cards Against Humanity. It's probably a particularly ugly game with you. You never suspect the 'good' people.
MisterBadIdea2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:53:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I dunno, man, I took quite a few education courses and edubabble can absolutely match business-speak for impenetrability.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, reading all that made me want to engage in habit 7
JustAnotherLemonTree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Christ, I took a leadership course in college and they loved the hell out of their 7 Habits book. Then again, most of the college faculty and management were Mormons, and a large portion of their student body as well, so a book written by a prominent Mormon and successful businessman would only be the logical choice for them to use.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:23:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm looking to energize my sales team over here, they're not too motivated, but it is what it is. Can you shoot that doc on over to me? I think this could really be a win-win.
Toni826 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But then it got shortened to SMS and only referred to that way because educators love acronyms!
QSquared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
BurningDad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I get asked again if I had any "aha's" from the last seminar I'm gonna lose it.
thelonelybiped ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Elementary school teacher... Team.... What?
dunaja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you teach third grade, your team is all third grade teachers. If you teach art, you're with music and PE. All teachers have a team they work closely with.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fresh out of college doing web dev and my supervisor/coworker sort of guy is definitely a business guy first and a programmer second. He calls things pieces and deliverables a lot.. he's a chill guy but it drives me insane.
oi_rohe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The term deliverable makes sense to me, since there's a lot that goes into things that doesn't end up being part of the final, delivered product.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 15:36:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot "swings and roundabouts"
carolinesavictim ยท 179 points ยท Posted at 15:49:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn you.
I also forgot: โข Turn-key โข Plug-and-play โข We donโt have the bandwidth (when not talking at all about the internet) โข By way of housekeeping โข Step up to the plate โข Weโre eating our own dog food โข Letโs put lipstick on this pig โข Thatโs not our core competency โข Weโre facing some headwinds there โข Donโt lie on a grenade โข Change agent โข Anything aboutโ internal siloโ โข We need to manage expectations โข AND ANY DON DRAPER QUOTES NOT USED IRONICALLY
I guess I just hate all office speak. EVERYONE SHUT UP.
potatohats ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 15:58:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Core competency" shudder
lurgi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:17:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like the term "core incompetency". That's stuff that we really suck at doing.
minnesotaphatz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, corporate jargon is ridiculous!...
burrito987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
any position as regards an 8-ball aside from "placed on a mirror below me as I hover with a rolled up dollar bill" is not acceptable.
halfdeadmoon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:17:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is legitimately used to focus on doing things you're good at, and not doing things you're bad at. Know when to delegate.
HiimCaysE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
โข legitimately โข focus โข delegate
GET HIM
backstept ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:44:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's toasted!
applepwnz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...Cigarettes"
-Abed
itsamutiny ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:54:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea what most of these even mean.
carolinesavictim ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:58:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody knows what it means โ but it's provocative.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IT GETS THE PEOPLE GOIN'
Bullets_TML ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It gets the people going
SMORKIN_LABBIT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its corporate bull shit speak that was created because actually saying whats going on is "negative" or "toxic". Let's put lipstick on this pig means....lets do what we can to make the most of a situation we completely and totally fucked up. Corporate jargon is literally another language....."the blank divisions teams are in information silo's creating significant communication blockers" = VP Greg whats his face sucks ass at his job.
dcux ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:39:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's internal politics. But I understood nearly every phrase in this thread. It doesn't really bother me. It's all shorthand for more complex communication. At least when used properly.
I will say that 'wheel house' and 'out of pocket' do annoy me. Because wtf does that even mean?
halfdeadmoon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:23:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The wheelhouse is a place on a ship sheltered from the elements where the person can steer. It's like a comfort zone. It's also used in baseball to refer to the part of the strike zone where the batter likes the pitch. The circumstances under which they perform the best.
'Out of pocket' originally referred to expenses that you have to pay up front, and maybe get reimbursed for later. Now, for some stupid reason, shitheads have turned it into meaning 'unavailable' or 'incommunicado'
dcux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? I understand what those are supposed to mean, but they're so absolutely far removed from their original meanings as to be ridiculous. The rest of them at least are known and understandable analogies based around common language, many of them sports related.
halfdeadmoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The wheelhouse is very much a part of baseball parlance
There's even a baseball apparel company with the name
CisterPhister ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:27:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, used properly and in context these can all make sense. The problem is that they are often used to hide the fact that you're not actually saying anything.
badibadi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about "The ask is...."? GAH!!!!
psiphre ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:54:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair, managing expectations is stupidly important :(
YRYGAV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're all important concepts.
That's why they are overused by managers trying to prove they are doing something important by using as many of the terms as possible.
psiphre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i don't know that i'd go that far. sticking to your core competencies, yeah. managing expectations... and stepping up to the plate when it's in your best interests.
but appropriated IT terms like, "plug and play, "don't have the bandwidth", "ping them about"... no.
maybe i'm just salty because i AM an IT guy. i dunno.
jelloisnotacrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone appropriating "your" terms gets on your nerves, how do you survive out there in the big bad world?
psiphre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally? I shake my head and get over it. I'm not smellody.
zeptimius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Push the envelope
languagejones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait...what's "internal silo"?
carolinesavictim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When departments aren't working together...I think?
SMORKIN_LABBIT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are correct. Not working together or sharing information effectively.
languagejones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Could you use it in a sentence?
SMORKIN_LABBIT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The reporting API roadmap is internally silo'd with the product team.
This shit comes from MBA programs and how they define different types of organizations and how they can be structured. Teams can be vertical or horizontal etc blah blah. A silo is a vertical structure with walls. So it's a metaphor for a "walled off team". Internal is unnecessary but silo can refer to a type of outside market being separated from another that seems like it would be a good fit. Example: "video has historically been silo'd from display media."
bigbluethunder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love the parenthetical on "We don't have the bandwidth"
ManWhoKilledHitler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We just need to get our ducks in a row.
pitpawten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can find the cycles
RedEngineer23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Turn-key and plug-and-play. what is wrong with those terms? I use them to describe systems. Its much easier to say turn key then to say this system requires no configuration and has an easy learning curve. or have people used it in a different context that is bad?
khyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I agree. Most of these sayings are good compressions; that's why they meme. A million people whose trade skill is "Business" wear them out on their co-workers who then let steam off on reddit.
blackbiscuit58 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maximize your throughput
clairvoyantMongoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My least favorite is "Bottom Line Up Front"
dcux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you want me to bluf(f)? That's basically it.
blooddidntwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
there you go, now you're fucking with your pants off.
kdennis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BANDWIDTH!!!! AH! this is my personal least favorite. ew.
but i am super confused by "we're eating our own dog food"...please explain?
carolinesavictim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's like, we're down in the trenches, too. Sacrificing right there with you. Communal suffering. But fuck, I might be way off.
PrinceTyke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What does "we're eating our own dog food" mean? Is it a work-friendly way of saying "screwing the pooch?"
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, god. It's apparently also called "dogfooding."
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the case of advertising, it's the same reason we only have X brand of beer in the damn beer fridge. Or why all of us shop at the same grocery store.
PrinceTyke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did not realize that was common enough to be Google-able. I am not a fan of that phrase or word.
Happy_Bridge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lot to unpack.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing i've heard in your post is "plug and play" and it's when we talk about the only advantages consoles have over gaming pcs.
Where do you find thoses expressions?
dontbothermeimatwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Add "circle back around"
RustyJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a coworker who just loves the phrase "A-ha moment". At last once, every meeting.
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your coworker watches a lot of Dr. Phil.
jakemg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Last year, we brought a consultant in on an Internet banking project and in the meeting the project lead said, "We've brought Nick in to increase our bandwidth." I honestly thought he was going to update our network because we have legitimate bandwidth issues at some of our branches.
Nope. He was there to add metaphorical bandwidth to the project by taking on some tasks.
i_ANAL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is a non-business expression though? At least it is a common (proper) English expression :P
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:20:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's very common business speak in the UK and Ireland
i_ANAL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Heh I only recall hearing at school, never in business since. I don't think it really can be thought of as "business speak"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:56:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Be thankful for that
sir_grumph ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:52:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in marketing. Someone got promoted to a director-level job and in order to sound competent would hurl jargon around with wild abandon. She actually said we had to "synergize the relevancies" in a meeting once.
carolinesavictim ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:59:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Any questions?"
raises hand
"We're doing what with the what?"
c_b0t ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:46:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago I worked for a VP of Marketing who was constantly using the phrase "slice of life." And there was a small group of us always snickering at her for over-using that term.
One day in a meeting, someone else used the phrase. Her response was "I'm not sure I understand what you mean by 'slice of life' here."
head explodes
Macfrogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was she trolling?
sir_grumph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:09:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She was desperately trying to sound how she thought she was supposed to sound. One of those people promoted way above their ability level.
Macfrogg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:12:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen that.
"I'm going to go ahead and go ahead and facilitate this training for you, now."
Wow, this guy has no idea what he's doing, he's just some kind of a human tape recorder for Corporate-speak.
Nate16 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:41:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You hust made me want to quit my job...that's the shit I hear all day! I'm in sales.
madkungfu ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:55:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's take this offline.
dcux ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:53:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WE'RE NOT ONLINE, YOU TWAT! WE'RE SITTING AT THE SAME CONFERENCE ROOM TABLE!
carolinesavictim ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:53:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you just focus on your core competencies and then we can see how the chips fall? Maybe in the morning we can circle back, get our game faces on and really close the loop on this.
Value added.
csm725 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Value added. Synergy. Value added. Value added.
CyanCorsair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad the marketing guys at my office don't talk like that.
But one of them does throw "the classic", "make it pop" "I'm not feeling it" and so forth around. And then when he tries to explain programming to clients...
optimal_primate ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:42:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll put this on the back burner.
alltherobots ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:24:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet merciful C'thulu, I almost punched a wall reading that. I had a boss who, when you heard him say that, you knew he had run out of thoughts but was just going to talk for 30 minutes anyway.
calidoc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:50:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is more of you working with people who don't understand the phrase and use it properly, rather than there being an issue with the phrase "value added". It's legit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bahaha, what a weird coincidence. we're having a sales rep training session all week this week. here's an example of the itinerary-
http://i.imgur.com/g1YthyP.png
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have fun?
Mypopsecrets ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:28:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, I like the word synergy. I can't think of the last time I heard someone use it in person
carolinesavictim ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:30:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have to explain why. RIGHT NOW.
Mypopsecrets ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:38:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest when I hear the word synergy I think back to MTG as nerdy as it sounds.
Nexas_Fatebringer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:37:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because MTG is the perfect definition of Synergy.
Yeah a 1/1 Elf with trample is kind of pointless.... Unless you're running an elf deck and cast Wirewood Pride and then that Defiant Elf is ready to ruin your opponent's day....
Synergy
carolinesavictim ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:42:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. All I think of when I hear it is "shuuut upppp." Especially when made plural (synergies).
Gnarly_Nyarly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, many of the words OP used here can be applied to Magic.
NewToSociety ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:40:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Lonely Island song.
goingnucleartonight ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:22:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like a Boss!
ericthered13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LIKE A BOSS
Sharpam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'd rather hear why you hate it, along with generally innocent phrases like "Win-Win". Do you enjoy winning and others losing?
Edit: Realized the office relation. Carry on.
Rmanager ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It works well in analyzing a business merger. That's about the only time I've used it.
Allisade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jem, Jem is fantastic.
dcux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He plays LoL.
ThatIsMyHat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use it a lot when planning out my Pokรฉmon teams. It's an important concept.
Warskull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is the actual word Synergy and the buzzword Synergy. In the business world they throw the buzzword every chance they get.
IntrepidusX ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:49:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Synergize backward overflow?
carolinesavictim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!%^
IntrepidusX ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:57:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like a proactive use of integrated customer centric strategy based upon provable metrics.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so you hate idioms?
carolinesavictim ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:20:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As I said before, only ones that are used in an attempt to let everyone know you read the latest industry Bible.
leaky_wand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Finally someone says this. It's jargon. Jargon is not inherently bad, it's just shorthand for a complex but commonly encountered concept in a given field. Doctors have it, lawyers have it, every profession has it.
The difference in the business world is that there is no concrete definition for these terms...they are just helpful metaphors. So (dumb) people tend to repeat something "smart" that they heard without really understanding the context in which it was used. Sometimes when I hear these terms used appropriately I nod in vigorous agreement--but other times I have to scramble for the mute button on conference calls before I burst out laughing.
LordCranium ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:05:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can i add these...At the end of the day, comparing apples and oranges, the next action (fuck off with that one), going forward.
carolinesavictim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These additions are actionable.
G_Morgan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:09:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with corporate speak is they always eventually learn what causes your internal eyes to start rolling and then change to newer but equality inane corporate speak.
It is a never ending contest between the English language and middle managers.
RelaxPrime ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:44:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the opposite end of the spectrum i really love it when someone says
"Off like a herd of turtles." Gets me every time
kamikazelaa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:47:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend created a program that works with his email. The program gives each message a value based on how many workplace buzzwords that the message contains. The higher the value, the less attention he will pay to the email.
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How much?
kamikazelaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha he isn't charging for it, he works for a software company and just created it for fun. He's just passed out around to coworkers that were interested.
madkungfu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This list gives me the shivers. You should get hazard pay.
carolinesavictim ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We get free booze.
SaavikSaid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Demand creation.
Just say telemarketing, jerks.
InfinitelyAbysmal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate guesstimate. Seriously. A fucking estimate is already not a precise unit of measure. A guesstimate is an estimate!
dcux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A guesstimate is a wild guess plucked from an educated and informed position: your ass.
Golanthanatos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a meeting this afternoon, chances are nobody will go cause the organiser isnt here, but if it happens, I'm gonna try and use every word in your list...
illigal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Switch it up for fun. We started using "low flying fruit". Or even " where the low flying fruit hits the road".
n0remack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DEM BUZZWORDS THO
NAD1A ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you need a vacation from the office. Almost said vacay but your forehead veins would've exploded.
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vacay does not follow the aforementioned pattern. And I have one planned for the end of the month!
Vultor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just going to leave this here:
http://www.bullshitbingo.net/cards/bullshit/
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is the first I've heard of this! Thanks!
MmmmBeer814 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Office speak is slowly driving me insane. I feel like every slide show deck I've been forced to sit through was made by people who just have a bag of corporate buzzwords they pick at random and string together to make impressive sounding sentences. You aren't saying anything!
quiet_earp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget "in a holding pattern". No, it's fucking on hold. It's like we're suddenly so terrified to admit that we're not currently doing anything on a particular project that we have to pretend to be airplanes who haven't been cleared to land.
know_comment ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
let's circle back on this, thought leader, "integrated solutions", "dynamic", let's hit this one out of the park, benchmarks, get your game faces on, implementation strategy, process improvement, high level/30k ft view, due diligence, client deliverables, run it up the flagpole, ASAP/EOD/EOW,leveraging best practices, results oriented, real time, client focused, core competency, KPI, metric analysis, "I'm wearing a lot of hats and don't have the bandwidth", scalability, drill down, sales funnel, sales pipeline, revenue focused, disruptive technology, the internet of things, corporate culture...
I get it. You have a masters and no applicable skills, so now you work in marketing/communications or HR and have somehow been promoted to a managerial or executive position and are trying really hard to hide the fact that you dream at night about losing teeth. Why don't you take that stupid motivational quote out of your email signature and maybe people will be more willing to buy the bullshit you're selling.
carolinesavictim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nailed it.
toogaloon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite: Circle the wagons. Like this is Oregon Trail and not some bullshit steering committee meeting.
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a new one for me. What does it mean?
toogaloon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Settlers travelled across the US by wagon trains which were often attacked by Native Americans (who were probably just trying to protect their land). During these attacks the common defense for the wagon train was to encircle the attackers hoping to establish a crossfire scenario (since they were undoubtedly outgunned).
My old boss used to use it to mean "let's all drop everything and focus on this one problem until we solve it", but at the time it sounded a lot like your examples...
AGrimGrim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry. I say "flesh it out" a lot. It's like an inoffensive way to say "DESCRIBE IN DETAIL WHAT THE FUCK YOU ACTUALLY MEAN"
carolinesavictim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying a few of these from time to time isn't terrible. It's really the people who try to shove as many into a conversation as possible that kill me.
AGrimGrim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Phew. I do hear you though. I used to work in a more "corporate" office and the buzz words can be murder if applied indiscriminately.
MsMittens ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reach out. "Just reaching out to circle back and touch base!" ... NO LEAVE ME ALONE.
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just a little powwow, MsMittens. Won't take long. You free from 9am to 3pm? Pack a lunch.
Lazy_Genius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god ... I just started working in agency land a year ago and I'm keeping a list too. You hit on a lot. Here are some of mine.
โข Table this conversation
โข Bandwidth
โข Brain dump
โข Circle Back
โข Tackle this ....
I just dug through some emails from the Account dept (the worst perpetrators ....
โข Let's workshop this.
โข Vet this through the channels
I'm sure there's more, but I gotta get back into the grind.
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Curious, does anyone say, "Let's be the adults in the room" or "put some pants on this idea?"
Lazy_Genius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard variations of the first ... but don't think I've come across the second. But going to start using it now.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Organic" when used in business..it make muh gall damn blood boil
carbonated_turtle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't work in advertising, but I do work in an office where management plays by the corporate handbook. I'm pretty sure I've heard most of these, and I hear new ones on an almost daily basis. This is the best way my bosses can get me to stop listening to them when they speak.
generic_office_drone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BINGO BINGO I GOT BINGO shift paradigm, value added, free space, low hanging fruit, re align woooot. But seriously we used to play buzz word BINGO at a gig I had a few years back when we had to sit on steering meeting calls because they wanted to get engineers input, apparently through osmosis because we where encouraged to " shut the fuck up " the entire time. We finnaly got off them when some one forgot to mute their mic and started yelling BINGO lol.
sir_mrej ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/carolinesavictim you need to use this at work http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html
carolinesavictim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bookmarked.
SwagYoloJesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, you're gonna LOVE Carlin's take on this:
https://youtu.be/hkCR-w3AYOE
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES!
Admiral_ItsATrap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you'll love this.
twenafeesh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, pretty much all corporate-speak. I'm in finance and this shit drives me crazy too. Our industries share a lot of the same lingo, apparently.
Jack Donaghy would be so proud.
CurrentSensorStatus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot monetize.
strawberrydrive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant: http://dilbert.com/strip/2002-05-05
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
very.
Captain_Meatshield ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excellent sir, now for the time being you cannot be tagged out.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who can see this Frankenstein's Monster of a project for what it is.
Aye aye Captain Smith.
That's probably a bird sir.
You mean the ones the raccoons can get to?
How far outside the box are we talking here? Do you want a battleship with our company logo on it in Central Park or Thursday's project?
Positive momentum doesn't mean it's in the right direction.
I've no idea where you found the room.
5k or marathon?
I'll get applied mathematics on that right away.
Which side of the mountain do you want this falling down?
That reminds me Cabela's is having a sale.
So that's what that smell in the kitchen was.
Yes sir, that's how cars work.
No sir, it's turn on a dime.
Thank you sir, that record player was driving me up the wall all morning.
Football or baseball, though I'd like to suggest handball?
Isn't that grounds for disqualification?
Which floor do we keep the vat of value on?
That's called a draw sir.
Aye aye Captain Smith.
Go suck a bag of dicks sir, then stuff them up your ass.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to add every single one of those terms to my resume.
FuQuaff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like it's time for a round of bullshit bingo! Here's your card: http://http://www.bullshitbingo.net/cards/bullshit/
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend (advertising) likes to converse with his friend (businessman) in buzz words just to piss me off. He is successful.
MuadD1b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Game changing is the worst. Has it changed the game? No. Then it's not fucking game changing. If I had a moose for everytime a reddit post described some breakthrough as game changing I would have enough moose to raise a fucking moose cavalry division, probably a whole corps actually.
foudefafa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wow thank you. I made a bingo out of it for my long conference calls. I added from the comments, "High-level", "don't have the bandwidth" and "It is what it is" to get enough filled in.
Imgur link for bingo card
Enjoy!
kittymeowmixi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:42:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't like to promote synergy like a boss?
Vamking12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or eat bagels?
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one made me LOL for some reason.
kittymeowmixi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:05:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I'd get the ball rolling.
-eDgAR- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in the same industry and I hated that I found myself saying that at the last office I worked at.
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My job is to run the numbers, really I don't know what to say in it's place, Lets see if the numbers justify a business case is wordy and just as annoying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say about 40-50% of these at least once on a weekly-ish basis.
Have I been living life wrong? :s
karasuningyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You... you just gave me really bad goosebumps. And creeps. And I'm feeling so uncomfortable right now argh
Whenever I hear someone say "low hanging fruit" or any of those buzz words in a very sincere and enthusiastic manner, my mind just goes blank and there's just this very high pitched tone
and I just fade
and
why
zylphite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anything mentioned in George Carlin's Modern Man bit.
Elvispressly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Set the levels" is the most recent one I've heard, just terrible.
EdgeoftheOcean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
man. you are the winner of this thread.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You get frustrated easily....
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You jump to conclusions...
axearm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd pretty much have to use sign language if I couldn't say those things in the office.
carolinesavictim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, you could just say WHAT YOU MEAN.
axearm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right, I'd probably get more bang for my buck if I thought outside the box...GODDAMN IT!
DovahSpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me just promote some synergy between my fist and whoever came up with this word.
mirandalori ยท 336 points ยท Posted at 16:47:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bones are for dogs, meat is for men" okaaaaaaay
TheDeltaLambda ยท 138 points ยท Posted at 19:21:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because the best way to make yourself feel secure is to try to make other people feel insecure!
The_Brain_Fuckler ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:13:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a very fit (but thin) guy, I'm fucking sick of being told I "need to hit the gym" or whatever. Usually that criticism comes from fat people.
mmm_unprocessed_fish ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 20:40:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tacking on to that, the whole "Real women" line of thinking. "Real women" have curves, blah blah blah.
vivvav ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:37:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, shit, is this a line about women? I totally thought it was just talking about giving your dog table scraps or whatever.
mmm_unprocessed_fish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's a jab at skinny women.
Kevinement ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:11:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Real women have two x-chromosomes
EntIam ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:05:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That should be expanded. The real man comments are on the same level.
Tuxpc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:43 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mah curves.
DeadStace ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 18:31:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Female here ... Prefer the bone tbh
Edit: Thought I was being quite hilarious until I realised meat would've also worked for that line.
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:26:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sneaky edit time:
bigmansam45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You bitch!
Dead_HumanCollection ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:29:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, well I seek out meat that isn't 40% fat content
The_Brain_Fuckler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:10:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's the cheapest meat.
Debased27 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 23:23:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like they're trying to trick us into finding them attractive.
"Oh, I don't want to be a dog. I want to be a man! I'd better just change my sexual preferences. Hell, I may even give going gay a shot."
Csantana ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:35:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah but then you would like the bone again
myaccisbest ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:23:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No no i have it on good authority that gay guys like the meat.
Csantana ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:34:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wow this is like triple entendre.
Debased27 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Touche.
TeamJim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:03:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you're gay, sometimes you have to take the shot, not just give it.
allnose ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:46:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well how do you respond when someone tries to take away your meat and make you eat bones instead?
(seriously, what context does this make sense in?)
KevintheNoodly ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 18:04:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bones = Skinny people
Meat = (usually) Fat people
allnose ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 18:16:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. Well I like my women to have both bones and flesh. Maybe I'm weird, but I just can't pick between the two
thelizardkin ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 20:35:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You like woman with bones what a freak everyone knows the limp puddle look is in right now
SCREAMING_FLESHLIGHT ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:10:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can just wrap em round your dick!
CountryTimeLemonlade ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:13:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And if that's not a relevant username, then by God I don't know what is.
nothing_in_my_mind ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:01:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a fan of skellies myself.
doot doot
hyperblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is your name Sally?
TeamJim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2dooty4me
JuggernautV2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:09:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just a skeleton would be too sp00ky
metal_monkey80 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
next you'll be telling me you want functional organs shoved inside this totally unattainable bone/flesh supermodel?! chauvinist.
Csantana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't pick between the two
But i have a bone to pick with you
ha rhyming is fun
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never heard someone say that, and I don't even know what that would mean without more context.
AwkwardnessIsAwesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meat meaning fat. Bone meaning a lot of lean meat, such as naturally skinny people and athletes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this was referring to BBQ ribs for a second and was very confused.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh?
SheikDjibouti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck says this?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Correct me if i'm wrong but i'm pretty sure dogs arent herbavores.
tiger_without_teeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bones are for dogs, meat is for men"
-Jeffrey Dahmer
EmilyKatBreedee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Real men like whatever the fuck they like.
BevansDesign ยท -22 points ยท Posted at 17:56:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You just made that up.
EDIT: Apparently not...
Fedor2 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:04:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh no. It is all over my face book feed from over weight insecure women or equally insecure skinny women saying it is bulshit
BevansDesign ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? This is the first time I've ever heard it. I don't even know what it means.
Fedor2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's what fat girls say to make skinny girls insecure. Meat/fat girls = men. Bones/skinny girls = dogs.
GuyInTheComputer ยท 3600 points ยท Posted at 15:36:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you ask someone "What time is it"?
And their response is, "Time to get a watch".
detecting_nuttiness ยท 3101 points ยท Posted at 16:52:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps this makes me shallow, but I laugh every time I hear that. Probably because the asker is never amused.
hecknotechno1 ยท 2012 points ยท Posted at 18:16:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i always say this, and then i laugh at my own joke. i am the worst kind of person, i think
kittensandcardigans ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 19:37:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worst kind of person checking in here! You're not alone.
ForteMilo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:20:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. I don't know if I should be proud of this or not
ChubbyMonkeyX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm very proud of it, but my friends and I run off of overused and outdated jokes.
hervethegnome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
worst kind of person checking in here! there's at least 3 of us
Tha_Prophet_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Either are you.
iamalwaysrelevant ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:32:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so do you say it as a reflex and laugh as a automatic response or do you find it actually funny?
hecknotechno1 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 20:48:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh, well im a fan of dumb jokes that arent funny, i dont know why.
Dad jokes are my favorite
mecoo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:21:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the thrill of making somebody say "Goddamnit i knew you were going to say something retarded like that"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:06:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I laugh because it annoys the person. ...This is why I am a bad person.
Cableguy87 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:43:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always say "it's half past a monkeys ass and a quarter to his balls." I don't know what the hell it means but my dad always said it and it has stuck with me
saint1959j ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember that one and the far less funny "it's a hair past a freckle."
edgar__allan__bro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:55:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You and I are the same.
cylons_R_people_2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:10:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always say this, and I work at a school so it's mostly elementary kids asking. They definitely do not find it as amusing as I do.
TyroneTheWhiteWIzard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:50:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say it, give a half chuckle, then stop abruptly and stare at them for a few seconds before I give them the actual time...
I find it amusing.
Reamofqtips ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only because you didn't capitalize your sentences.
hecknotechno1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:11:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LIKE THIS?
Reamofqtips ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Close enough.
Kell08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
WaLizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always say it as I'm trying to be the first person to get the time for them.
NumbMyLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I work with a guy who does this. His jokes aren't even funny, but his laugh is hilarious.
macsb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The best kind of person, sir. The best.
ryannp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends used to answer literally everything with "time to get a watch" hearing it now makes me laugh everytime remembering that.
Mark_467 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a dad?
hecknotechno1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no, but i love dad jokes. ill be the worst kind of great dad someday
Mark_467 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I do this too, sometimes I think the only person that thinks I'm funny is me then I just laugh it off
TheBrainwasher14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been saying it since 1997, and saying it ironically since 2002
jay_busy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say "Time to get a watch!" Then immediately check the time for them so I seem like less of a dick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
BesottedScot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Garden path stories. Look em up.
Quiby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, terrible person here. And I do this.
Linearts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well at least you're self-aware about how horrible you are, so you probably aren't the worst kind of person.
alexeye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I, too, should be in this worst-kind-of-person caravan.
LaughsAtOwnJoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are you on about that joke is great I love it.
ArchCypher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to look down at my watch and go,
"Huh, it's get-a-watch O'clock"
I too, am a terrible person.
Coconuteer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes you are...
doubleday34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tell my co-workers I only need to make one person laugh, and if it is me, well that much easier.
They do not appreciate me.
kronning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I look at my wrist and respond "a hair past a freckle" and then laugh sarcastically/maniacally. You are not alone.
1LuckyAssSonOfABitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should probably know that everyone you interact with hates you.
thezeus102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still love you tho
redyellowand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You and me both, buddy
Foibles5318 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
heck no, techno
EndGame410 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll tell them, "It's a freckle past a mole." usually gets me a chuckle and a weird look
HippoBlowjob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*i know
alitairi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm such a horrible person, I chuckled out loud imagining myself responding like that to someone after reading it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're the worst, I guess I am too. Although I had to start wearing a watch so that people wouldn't say fuck you you don't have a watch KYS
profoundWHALE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I laugh, and then I apologise
Doktor_Jensen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, you could be my brother. He says it even when it makes no sense
"Hey bro, how ya doin'?"
"TIME TO GET A WATCH!!!! HAHHAHAHAHAHH"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you
diggleblop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just quickly say it offhandedly, and then i give them the real time. I feel it is kind of a necessity to say it nowadays, and i might as well get it out of the way
WalkingCloud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes say it to other questions.
E.g. What's the best way to get to the beach? Time you got a watch.
People hate me.
Double-Portion ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always say that as I'm checking the time so they don't get too aggravated.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:01:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny because it's so unfunny.
Sidekick_Al_Borland ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:12:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I laugh everytime I say it.
Cum_on_doorknob ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:58:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alright bro, I'm gonna blow your mind.
"What time is it?"
"One of"
"One of what?"
"One of those times you need a watch."
detecting_nuttiness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is great. I'm gonna hold onto this one.
Dr-Teemo-PhD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:41:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always groan and roll my eyes and turn in a circle whenever someone says this, but I secretly love it because the other person gets a kick out of this lame joke too!
LetsNotPlay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:47:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always either say Adventure Time or Hammer time. It amuses me so I dont give a fuck.
Popps18 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite answer is, "half past a freckle" while looking at my wrist.
detecting_nuttiness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like this one too, though I usually go with "freckle past a hair."
Alextrovert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"A hair past a freckle" makes more sense.
Popps18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I think I've just been saying it wrong and that's how you actually say it.
ravfe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That and "what time is it?" followed by "game time"
SUCK_MY_DICK_THANKS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you're cool, i like you
AnMatamaiticeoirRua ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The joke is not amusing, but occasionally the reaction is.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a summer camp this summer and that was my go-to response to kids when they asked. partially because it makes me giggle and partially because it gave me time to acknowledge their question while getting my phone out to check the time.
kelbrina ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My stupid boyfriend does this to me literally every time I ask what time it is. I am never amused.
Taddare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has always been a granddad comment to me. Another of his favorites was if you asked him for a piece of bread, he would tear off a tiny corner and hand it over.
"You said you wanted a piece."
That man was a fountain of literal sarcasm.
Slobotic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hanging out with an unusually tall friend of mine and this guy we know comes by and says, "hey how's the weather up there?" Long silent stare... "Really?" "Uh, well you know, it was a joke." More awkward silence. "Oh." Some nodding of heads... Then I lose it and can't stop laughing.
whtrbt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you. This is funny.
Poops_McYolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a socially acceptable way of telling someone to go fuck themselves and I find it passive aggresively awesome.
not_ryo_hazuki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have something in your eye? Like, perhaps, say... an eyeball?
modern_rabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The looks you get are worth it.
ajlposh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say "It's time to get a watch o'clock."
SoupMuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My coworker wears a dead watch. He says it looks nice, but he doesn't have the money/motivation to get the battery changed.
detecting_nuttiness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious. But it's bad qi to be in the room with a stopped clock. ;)
SoupMuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aw man, he's ruining all our lives.
DMercenary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hahaha, but seriously its about 3 o'clock."
holololololden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think directly telling them "time to get a watch." But sometimes it's funny. If the person that says it is funny it's usually pretty funny.
Iowa_Viking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use this joke at least twice a day because I'm a lifeguard and the kids are always asking me what time it is. Well, they used to; most of them have stopped trying by this point in the summer.
Redbulldildo ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 18:01:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I piss people off because it's engrained into me that the response should be "About now, if you hurry."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually like this.
DownWithTheShip ยท 223 points ยท Posted at 16:54:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You really should get a watch
twinfyre ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:28:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is the easiest solution to the problem.
darth_stroyer ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:27:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or use a phone
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:12:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's different. Watch takes less than 1 second to check. It takes a while to pull out your phone, turn it on, look at it, then put it back in your pocket.
servimes ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:26:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Less time than asking somebody though.
ProsecutorBlue ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:35:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only if they go through this terrible exchange each time.
reazura ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:55:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1 second of doing said ritual instead of having an accessory that weighs me down all day.. I'd take it that 1 second sacrifice. That's just me though.
mrt90 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:16:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No it takes like half a second longer than checking your watch. And who walks around with a turned-off cellphone in their pocket.
rabiiiii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think he just meant activating the screen. And as a former cell phone checker turned watch wearer, no. It does take longer than a half second. Yeah maybe it's not that big of a deal but since I switched no way I'm going back. Plus watches are fly af
rabiiiii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Truth. I started wearing a watch again recently. Now I hate digging my phone out of my pocket just to find out the time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hipster or old guy?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really old, so I guess hipster
DownbeatWings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but watches are super cool.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:27:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I hate wearing watches. They're irritating to my wrists. Pocket watches are cool, but if you got one people would probably accuse you of being one of those "boys have swag, men have class" jackasses who think they're classy. Just tell me the time if you have a watch and don't be a dick about it.
WordBoxLLC ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:24:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He just doesn't have the time.
Hallsworth-it ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:43:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I normally say it while I'm finding out the actual time. "Time to get a watch; I'm kidding, it's 12:43."
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:22:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's 3:22.
Platanium ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:20:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Solo?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh?
renoredhead ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:36:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
322 is a meme from the Dota 2 community. It essentially means; intentionally throwing away your chances of winning a game. Why the number 322? It comes from when a professional player named 'Solo' intentionally lost a game to win money he had bet against himself. $322 is supposedly the amount of money he won for 'throwing' the game.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. I unknowingly memed. That's hardcore.
the_random_asian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
first thing I thought
afrikaharold ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:25:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LMFAO wHo cAREAS HAHA Xd
HiDDENk00l ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's 10:33"
I told her what time it was.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, that story is literally so awesome. Can you tell it again!
Hallsworth-it ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are welcome my good friend.
-eDgAR- ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:44:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had someone tell me "Half past a monkey's ass, quarter to his balls." I couldn't help but laugh at how unexpected it was.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:14:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
AdzyBoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skin thirty
might_be_myself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only 90's kids will understand.
psychodreamr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:04:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I've heard this several times. I still don't get it.
murderofcrows90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it means time to buy a watch.
r_golan_trevize ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the correct response to that question. At least, it was in elementary school.
I still think it every time, even if I don't say it.
fatfishy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my go to phrase
TI_Pirate ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:37:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer the answer: "party time".
AdzyBoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or Tool Time.
PM_UR_CLOUD_PICS ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:39:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My response is just as bad, but more drawn out. When people ask me what time it is, I say 'One of.' When they ask 'One of what?' my response is to say 'One of the reasons you need a watch.'
I'm sorry for being awful.
toughbutworthit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:58:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just say I'd get a watch if I had the time
slantsalot ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:15:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always tell my girlfriend this because I know she hates it and I'm a bad person.
felixjawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha, me too. I always told my ex this because I knew she hated it and I'm a bad person.
mpstmvox ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:59:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually answer with "tool time".
ireter294 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:16:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says this to me i just tell them "More like time for you to make up a better joke"
detecting_nuttiness ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:54:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great response.
ZXLXXXI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to get this all the time at primary school - all my friends had watches before I did. It was really annoying.
chris1neji ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come on, this one ain't so bad :)
TheXenophobe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too bad. I'm not fucking stopping. I've got a watch and the instant someone sees it they ask what time it is.
Fuck off, its my watch, go get your own.
onetonfeather ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god I say this all the time. They never find it funny but I do
xxtoejamfootballxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like using this one incorrectly. For example, when a friend asks "what time are we getting dinner?" It just confuses people and I find it funny.
zurx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I say, "Time for you to shut the fuck up!" I should probably stop doing that.
HairlessSasquatch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a guy playing with his phone and put it back in his pocket. I had forgot my phone and was in an underground parking garage.
When I asked for the time he told me he didn't have a watch and I just killed myself after that because this world is lost
FeiLongWins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started doing this in 5th grade. Almost a decade later and it's just...I can't stop. It's not even a conscious reaction at this point.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:14:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes answer like that regardless of what the question was just to fuck with them a bit. "Which way is it to the train station?" "Time to get a watch"
Bohnanza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:32:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I gotta remember that one, thanks!
yappingboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only ever used that when I was on my way to buy a new watch because my last one broke
irishperson1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love this one so much.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then they try to sell you a watch.
Sideroller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why you always say "one of..." and when they ask you to clarify: "...one of the reasons to get a watch"
sparklebiscuit92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, dad.
o_oli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Freckle past hair! Har har.
delicatefemaleflower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually reply with "and a new joke"
I will admit when I first heard it I thought it was so clever.
Darth_Sensitive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if I go with "time to get a new fence"?
flizer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just say "party time!" And then tell them the actual time
Rocketterollo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Time to get a calendar HEHUHEHUHE
MyNemIsJeff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I almost always say "Adventure Time" does that make me an asshole?
FiaSquared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Time to get a new comeback
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone asks me this, I'm going to say, "I don't know. I can't read numbers."
wulfguitar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guilty. I feel naked without my watch, and people always get upset when they hear it, but I don't think anyone takes it personally.
mactroneng ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same time it was this time yesterday, jackass!
cujoslim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a guilty pleasure of any time someone says "I'm doin good" to day "No, you're doing well! Super heroes do good, you do well ;)." It's probably the most face punchable thing I do.
therealLRoquefort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I look at my own watch-less wrist and say "a freckle past the hair."
_head_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If this happens to you often enough to be your pet peeve, you really do need to get a watch.
RoughlyCuboid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Standard reply : "Time you got a better joke"
sammysfw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it needs to be legal to kick someone in the balls for saying that. Also "have some coffee with your sugar!" and "have a nice trip?" if you trip over something. I think of these jokes as "kick in the balls jokes" because that's what you deserve for making them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is when they just tell me where the clock is.
I'm asking, more likely than not because I can't read manual clocks.
handshakesatsunrise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That one is too widely used now. You gotta say "One of" and then the person responds, "One of what?" and you get to say "One of the reasons you need a watch" very triumphantly
Mage_of_Shadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man it's time to get a better joke
Sphinctuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always scream "GAME TIME WOO WOO" but then I tell them the time.
I hate when someone asks a question and gets a joke answer, but then the person doesn't give the actual answer and I need to ask again. Fuckkkk
OhHowDroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one is super played out, but one of my best friends from high school told me my favorite variation of it ever.
So it's back in middle school, he's waiting at a bus stop, when someone asks him what time it is. He rolls back his sleeve, to look at the watch he's drawn on his wrist. On clockface, there are no numbers, just the phrase "Time to Dance." He looks down at it, shows it to the other kid, and says "It's time to dance," and starts dancing at the bus stop. It was such a weirdo middle school moment that every time I imagine it I fuckin bust up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I haven't done this in so long. I actually think it's hilarious
CaptainFlacid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always say "its one of" and when they look at me like "da fuq U mean br0?ยฟ?ยฟ?" I say "ONE OF THE REASONS TO GET A FUCKING WATCH BUT YOU CANT GET ONE BECAUSE YOURE A HOMELESS METH ADDICT LOLOLOL"
PerogiXW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have an even more obnoxious version I do with my friends. They ask "What time is it?" and I say "Summertime" and then proceed to sing the rest of that song from High School Musical 2. It got old years ago and I still get a kick out of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This had been my answer probably 50% of the time for the past ten years.
DoubleDonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIJD VOOR BORRELNOOTJES.
1TrueKingInTheNorth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only right answer to that question is "ADVENTURE TIME!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to say, "Half past get a watch." Then as they glare me, I look down, ashamed, and tell them the time.
TheTurtleJake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What time is it?" "One of" "One of what?" "One of those times you wish you had a watch"
Ba dum tss
CHEEKY_BADGER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I came up with this back in sixth grade. I don't have the proof, but I did.
Frekavichk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Time to get a new joke!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What day is it?"
"Day for you to get a calendar."
juhlordo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So u say "I would if I had the time"
Pithy_Lichen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me this one goes hand in hand with "Hey/hay is for horses."
I love them both equally.
OhNo_NotYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My usual response is ITS GAME TIME!! It's funny to me and I guess that's all that really matters
toughbutworthit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd get a watch if I had the time
wENTtobuyweed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say quarter pass freckle. I like to think I'm funny.
cross-eye-bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cell phones killed that joke.
Fragilefish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually start singing that song by the Spin Doctors. "What time is it? 4:30. It's not late. Naw, naw! It's just earlay earlay!" It's stupid. But it makes me laugh. And the other person usually just walks away to find a clock.
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1 of...... 1 of the reasons you should get a watch!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does anybody really know what time it is?
ankensam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have been responding to that question like that for the past 3 years. My friends still forget how I answer until they've already asked the question. They hate me for it.
a_white_american_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well maybe...
ikorolou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The proper response to "What time is it?" obviously being "PARTY TIME!"
Eirixoto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Round with hands"
No. Die.
Dunno if people actually say that in other countries, but in Norway people say "Rund med 2 visere", which basicily means "Round with hands".
esaevian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say this to stall for time as I reach into my pocket to get my cell phone
CaptainQWO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say that, "Adventure Time", or "Summer Time!" promptly followed by the rest of that song.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Time to get an original joke.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha I do that whoops
_corn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm this guy :(
xxkoloblicinxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People say this at my work...
We cant wear watches because they could get snagged in machinery or catch an electronic current and subsequently kill us...
So no... I won't buy a fucking watch!
CaptainSqueak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Day to get a calendar
themantherein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? Because they're right?
TheACG7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's time to get a new joke.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd get a watch if I had the time.
judders96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually say this while I'm checking my watch / phone, and by the time I've finished saying it I can say the real time
mr_lab_rat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, I will probably use it couple of times. I find it funny.
darcys_beard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Three hairs past a freckle.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What time is it?"
"Half past the monkey's ass, quarter to yours."
~My mom, since I was old enough to know what a monkey and an ass were.
BaconSheikh ยท 5844 points ยท Posted at 16:02:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"real life" or "real world"
Older relatives constantly talk down to me with those two phrases - "wait until you get into the real world" ... "real life is much different than what you're doing now"
Excuse me, uncle shit-for-brains, but I happen to work two jobs, and go to school. Don't fucking tell me I'm not part of this so-called "real world"
What the fuck have I been living in? The Sims? The money I've earned and spent, was that some kind of in-game currency? Fuck off.
Bullshit terms like the "real world" and "real life", when used that way, are nothing more than cheap ways to belittle others, and make yourself feel more important.
Being at an earlier stage in life does not mean your experiences are not part of the real world.
luckytaurus ยท 1556 points ยท Posted at 17:51:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't think of anything, or didn't really hate anything said above this comment. But after reading your comment, I completely agree with you. I actually hate when this is said to me.
darkwing_duck_87 ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 21:12:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Belittling. That's a great way to frame what is usually being done by people using this phrase.
All we can do is never use it to younger people ourselves.
If they say dumb, nieve shit then refute their arguments. Don't belittle them.
RFLS ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:34:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's "naive." And there's some weird accent somewhere in there.
You'll figure it out when you get to the real world.
Please don't kill me.
WhyIsThatImportant ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:26:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called an umlaut. It's above the "i".
IIIISuperDudeIIII ยท -54 points ยท Posted at 22:08:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You think your comment will make a difference... how cute.
braken ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:55:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone needs a nap it seems.
IIIISuperDudeIIII ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 02:27:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOU!! You!! THIS PERSON GETS IT!! This person!!
tbss153 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:25:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
for me it did: i am 26 years old and have heard this countless times, but i never really identified it for what it was, and it was simply belittling. i have experienced a lot, and i acknowledge there are people younger than me that have experience twice as much.
IIIISuperDudeIIII ยท -55 points ยท Posted at 22:28:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHOOSH!
Apparently your experience has not taught you how to detect a joke?
Keep working on it, kid. You'll get it someday.
tbss153 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:38:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you personify the type of asshole who would use this phrase
IIIISuperDudeIIII ยท -50 points ยท Posted at 22:44:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHOOSH x2!!
You have some SERIOUS comprehension problems... Or are you just trolling, kiddo?
Macrologia ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:44:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
stop
IIIISuperDudeIIII ยท -41 points ยท Posted at 00:12:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoosh!
IndonesianGuy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:34:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is the weather?
sl1dememphis ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:51:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't feed the trolls.
Sylphetamine ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:06:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's always coupled with being told how your life is so much easier. Yeah getting paid at an inflation based lower wage while being obligated to take a small mortgage in student loan debt is so much easier isn't it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:52:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When boomers say this I rage.
If you have any 90+ year old family who are coherent ots epic to see boomers get shit down.
Drogo_the_injectable ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:17:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother used to say this.
"Once you're in the real world you'll realize how stupid your political opinions are."
I paid for school myself and I've been working since I was 15, MOM.
Fuck you mom.
Ptylerdactyl ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:54:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll change your mind when you're older."
No, probably not. Because I think a lot about this topic.
micmacimus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:24:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone now supposedly in the real world, I fucking hate when it's directed at anyone. If I ever use it, please punch me
chrom_ed ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:15:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's this whole thread, I'm so full of hate now.
yourandybastard ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:49:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to be cranky for a while now just thinking about how often I hear this phrase.
mirpanda ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:08:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same! I worked before I went to college and then during. Bitch, I've been in the real world. Not every undergrad sucks on their parents teet until age 26. Most of the time this was said to me by grad students who thought they knew everything, and also talked about their parents cutting them off once they hit grad school... If I could only live in your "real world" you pretentious fucks.
You're my TA, that means you know more about this subject than me, not everything.
Bonolio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On my first day of my first job my boss said to me. "Just remember there's no one around here smarter than you, just a whole lot of people that know more. Don't worry about it, it's the getting of the knowledge that's the fun bit".
Shark_Fartz ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 23:23:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because you don't wake up at 5 am everyday, work all day, get home at 6 pm. Spend 3 hrs of housework. Then do the exact same thing the next day. It eats your soul.
I worked a fast food job and as a delivery/mail man for my campus while studying for a mechanical engineering degree. It sucked at times, I was stressed allot.
But it wasn't the same damn thing every day, realizing you're going to be doing this everyday for the rest of your life until you're on the deathbed. And I've got a decent job as an engineer, I can't imagine how the line workers here feel. I'm not saying you havnt met the real world, all I'm saying is you can't claim someone who has experienced something is incorrect when you have no experience yourself.
Kurridevilwing ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:45:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, look! Someone on reddit who isn't in college! There's so few of us anymore.
Sandlight ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:28:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's literally dozens of us!
-Teki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad the NEETs got back to work.
acidvolt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:38:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you, but a few years ago I would have disagreed with you. As you progress in life, your opinion on different subjects changes a lot.
Now, for example in the comment about the "real world". I think it's being taken very literally. I believe " real world " is used as a metaphor for being older, as that brings about new responsibilities and worries which I and other individuals do not yet have.
I think it's part of being young to be more rebellious and dismissive of advice learned from experience as you are more hungry for evidence, at least I was. But at least for me, things changed a lot. I am the same person but hold much different ideals that only experience has taught me. Even ideals I disagreed with at some time.
I am still young, and don't consider myself to have entered a stage where I have overwhelming responsibility and concerns. However, I find it interesting that I can think back to all the few years I have lived and how experience changed my views on the world. This insight had made me a lot less dismissive and thoughtful of advice I may have been dismissive of before, especially from older individuals.
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:57:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? If you're a college student, you are not really living in the real world. It's a safe protective place where you have far fewer responsibilities than when you're living on your own as an adult. You're not dealing with 401Ks and insurance policies and all that dreary crap that adults deal with. You're very likely living on a campus where you don't cook your own food or clean the bathroom. And that's part of what is so great about college: the lack of real responsibility. It's a transition period. And this applies even if you're working in college. I worked a couple of campus jobs through college to afford booze, and it's nothing like actually working 8-5 plus a commute 5 days a week. I've been out for a year, and the difference is massive.
Bengrimm84 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:18:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think your comment makes basic assumptions about what someone's student life was like. Some of us worked to pay bills and have health care and afford a place to live, not just part time work for luxury items.
And if you're going to ask why I didn't "change my life if the situation was so bad;" maybe it's because I wanted to have a career that made a difference, not just a clock to punch. That was me changing my life.
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can have a meaningful job after college and still hate the monotony of the working world. I like my job. We do good things for the world. But getting up early for a 25 minute commute every day is a drag, and barely seeing the sunlight in the winter is not much better.
dukearcher ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:01:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then if before you are on the cusp of uttering "real-life" or "real world" to someone, fuck off and either:
acidvolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's not the best phrase, but I think the words "real life" and "real world" were being taken way too literally.
Quillava ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand people who have no free time, or work 9 hours a day PLUS hours of housework. If your job and your life are so shitty, change it. If you don't want to change it, then obviously you're okay with it and its not that bad.
Tasgall ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:04:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, usually people are in that situation because they're actively engaged in changing it. They're allowed to not like the process.
Demetriiio ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:41:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or comfort zone, you know "ugh i hate this job but the stability it brings is good and imagine what a hassle would it be if i quit and search for another job etc."
Tasgall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or on the flip side, "Ugh, I really like my job, but if I want to move up I have to leave and go somewhere else, but then everything I like about it would be gone."
nuadarstark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:25:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is exactly the kind of simplistic view that makes older adults spout this real-life, real-world shit, so youโre not fucking helping either.
Iโm fairly optimistic 23 year old with solid job, enough time and not many responsibilities but even I get that "changing your life" is a fucking process and not something youโll get done in freaking minutes. Especially if you werenโt born into the more fortunate circumstances. So get over yourself, youโre acting like an asshole.
Daekin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:05:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck do you do to your house that takes you 3 hours to clean EVERY day?
IIIISuperDudeIIII ยท -28 points ยท Posted at 22:07:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You know, when you get out into the real world, you'll discover that nobody gives a fuck about what you think.
*edit: ITT: Kids who don't get sarcasm/irony.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:56:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OP cares. OP wanted to know. OP listens to us.
IIIISuperDudeIIII ยท -35 points ยท Posted at 22:58:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHOOSH.
Adolf_-_Hipster ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:45:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like this guy. GUYS!!!! LOOK AT THIS GUY HE'S HILARIOUS!
IIIISuperDudeIIII ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 00:13:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Finally! SOMEBODY GETS IT! (All these kids were really starting to worry me about the future generations!)
IndonesianGuy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:35:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHAHA LOOK AT THIS GUY SO ORGINAL!! NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE!1
hitlerosexual ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:00:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is wooosh your favorite pseudo-word?
IIIISuperDudeIIII ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 00:13:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indubitably!
Cookie_Banana ยท 310 points ยท Posted at 19:04:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree and hated this when I was younger. Now i hate when my mother says "When you have a house..." "When you have kids..." BUT mostly I just wanted to thank you for mentioning the Sims. Michael Phelps and I had a lovely home inside my computer for a time.
Ikniow ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 20:19:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't end after either of those. Now I get "when they're teenagers/grown..."
MorallyDeplorable ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:48:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically you hate it when people try to spread questionable wisdom and guilt you into following it by acting condescending and superior.
SayceGards ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:01:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then when they're grown, "when you're dying..."
silentphantom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:21:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I modded shrek into my sims game that shit was legit
IChooseRedBlue ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:45:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand, when my wife was pregnant we'd hear all the time "Once you have kids you'll have no time, no energy and no money". And we thought, yeah, it'll be a little tight on a single income and we'll have to organise our time well but that's not going to apply to us. But damn, they were right.
iltopop ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 21:36:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That shit doesn't fly when you get into the real world"
A lot of shit flies in the real world, actually.
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:59:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But showing up drunk to class does not. A lot of crap that flies in college really won't once you graduate.
kblaney ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:47:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I teach college. That shit does not fly. Usually that shit falls asleep and I take a selfie with that shit's phone.
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh, I went to college. Classes aren't that hard. Fell asleep a lot in the post lunch classes. It flew.
drivec ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:03:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Part of growing up was learning that everyone is basically winging it.
I always thought when I was younger that there was this rigid machinery that ran the world like clockwork. After a municipal government internship, two part-time information technology jobs, and 5 years in college, I realized that Humanity is an ever-evolving network that functions more like an organism or an animal cell than a finely-tuned computer. Would've saved me a bit of stress if I figured this out when I was younger.
classy_stegasaurus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:24:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's even worse when they're talking about the same shit you saw them doing last week. Old people are not at all good at avoiding hypocrisy
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:02:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
..."And that's why I bought you this Ryan Air ticket to "fuck-you-county" from the money I made with my two jobs"
AlenaBrolxFlami ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. My ex needs to learn this.
puppykinghenrik ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 21:01:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Years back, my dead beat uncle was crashing in my apartment for a few weeks and a few of the weekend nights I would get back from being out late or whatever. Anyways, I guess this cost him some beauty sleep or whatever because he decides to call me up all angry and yell about how I don't know what real life is like and once I grow up I will understand how hard it is (or something).
I guess life experience only comes from being a 50 year old dude doing loads of drugs and needing to crash on your 22 year old nieces couch. Anyways, he took off without warning and took a bunch of stuff with him. Oh well.
dukearcher ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:12:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think he was just a bellend, to be honest.
puppykinghenrik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:22:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ctrl+shift+c -> type 'motherlode' -> enter. You only need to go to school now.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:41:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uncaught ReferenceError: motherlode is not defined
:(
RIcaz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:54:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try
rosebud.therestaretaken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;
EdgarFrogandSam ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 18:57:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same reason I hate the term real job.
thebloodofthematador ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 23:46:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, as opposed to all those fake jobs people have where they do fake work and make fake money for their fake bills.
sir_mrej ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 23:04:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are no real jobs. A job is whatever the fuck you want it to be. You wanna paint shitty watercolors and sell em for $5 under a bridge in Minneapolis? You go and do. If being in a cube and wearing a tie is a "real job", real jobs suck and no one should get them.
kroxigor01 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:55:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if the cube is transperant and I'm naked except for the tie? Avant Garde performance art!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:20:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I now have a sudden irrational desire to sell $5 watercolors under a bridge in Minneapolis...
sir_mrej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll come buy one next time I'm in town
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Minneapolitan here. Technically you would sell your shitty watercolors at the Megamall (Minnesotan for the Mall of America). There's no under-bridge market in these parts.
sir_mrej ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Minneapolitan? Really? That's a mouthful.
The mall's too mainstreeeeam maaaan.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it does have the kiosk where that one guy sells drawings and paintings.
sir_mrej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been to the mall only twice, both were short trips. So I'm really talking out of my ass.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's okay. It's exactly like every other mall, just larger.
sir_mrej ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:51:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember seeing some sort of roller coaster. That would lead me to believe it's at least a little different than other malls.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:11:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only insofar as it's indoors. But the rides are mainly patronized by tourists and small children. Which is not to impugn their motivation (who doesn't like an occasional ride?), but the Megamall isn't exactly the place to go for a few things. If you have your entire Christmas list to shop for and it's two days before Christmas, then yeah--go there. But if you just need a new pair of pants and a desk lamp, you are NOT gonna go deal with the traffic and the parking ramp and all the walking. (Point of trivia: each floor is over half a mile around.) And invariably, you end up parking on the opposite end of the mall from the store you want to go to, and you have to go down two floors and cut across the amusement park and then back up two floors...forget it. Quicker to just go to Rosedale.
Darkersun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:47:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't think its a little hypocritical that your whole point is not to "label" jobs as 'real', but then state that a cube and tie job suck and no one should get them?
sir_mrej ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I said "If", first of all. But yes I did imply that that sucks. Only because that's the generic "job" that is always thought of. Someone at a desk or in a cube wearing a tie. But you know that. You know that's the "default" and yet you decided to comment anyway to be snarky. You're right. If someone wants to do that, it's not sucky and they should totally do it. I have no problem with that.
Darkersun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yeah. You've been here almost 3 years, it wouldn't be Reddit without many of the comments having some level of snarky.
That being said, you had to guess that you would be pissing of some people at a cube in a tie who might even be reading your comment while literally in their cube wearing a tie.
Like you said, I wouldn't disparage anyone who does something legal to provide for themselves or their family. But, the way of the US (and other countries like Japan, China, Most of Europe) is that a lot of work will be done in offices.
And trust me, as an office worker who aspires to be a stand up comedian, I can certainly understand the stigma. But some people actually enjoy their office digs...or at least the healthcare, 401k, high salary, break room, stock options, low/no long distance travel, etc.
But fuck ties. They feel like a noose, and I only put that shit on when I absolutely have to.
sir_mrej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True :) Which is why it didn't really bother me that you said that. Reddit is Reddit.
I've had an office job most of my life, for those reasons. I haven't been in a cube the whole time, or had to wear a tie ever. But yep, offices are the way of life for many people.
Darkersun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Way of the world I guess.
Would be nice to get paid to just fly around and visit landmarks and museums, converse with interesting people across the world, and eat exotic food...but if that was an actual "job", wouldn't most of us do that? :)
sir_mrej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aw man I so wish someone would pay me to do that.
ngroot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:28:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sit in a quasi-cube (open floor plan) and I wear a tie to my job most days even though I don't have to, because I have a fun tie collection. My job does not suck. Maybe you shouldn't get a cubicle-monkey job. :-)
sir_mrej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you're right. I don't know what kind of job I should get, even after being in the workforce for over a decade. I'll keep on searchin.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Replace real with professional if it makes you feel better. Or skilled labor job. Either or.
_TheGreatDekuTree_ ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:25:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That's cause you don't have a real job
Edit: well I guess a joke doesn't translate to text... for those complaining I heard this very same thing from my father for years.
codinghermit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:15:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Both are providing time and effort for currency so I'd have to disagree.
CptSaySin ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 19:56:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
real job = career job
Fixing broke computers at Geek Squad isn't a real job. Fixing broke computers in an IT department as a sysad, is a real job.
SayceGards ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:01:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why?
CptSaySin ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 01:21:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sysad job comes with things like a salary, vacation, 401k, etc. More importantly, it comes with a career path. You start as a sysad, move up a few tiers, become an engineer, then senior engineer, architect or solution engineer, sr solution engineer, principal engineer, and so on. You can be become a director and can even work all the way up to a CTO.
At geek squad, the best you could hope for is a technical manager and that probably still has shitty pay, probably hourly, and the most basic of benefits.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:51:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are acting like a privileged cunt.
A job is a job.
I respect craftsmanship and hard, honest work.
CptSaySin ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:28:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is nothing "privileged" about having a career. It takes hard work, dedication, and sacrifices. Careers take DECADES to develope. The shit jobs you're defending are the ones where you can be replaced in an instant and require no skill, no experience, and no work ethic.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps elitist would describe your attitude better. There is not an infinite supply of "career jobs", we need people from all walks of life, there is no shame to be found in work you enjoy to do well. There is only shame for people who put the bar right below them, who mock others for their humbler ways of life.
You'd tell that to your grandfather who worked in a factory? Would you tell that to your stay-at-home mom who worked part time as a grocery-bagger on the weekends? You sound like a middle class sub-urbanite who thinks life is only about advancement and ambition. You're probably a very hard worker, competent, and intelligent, but you sure as hell sound like you are morally bankrupt.
everydaygrind ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:28:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuck you idiot. real job is any job that pays the bills and puts food in my mouth.
fuck off with your so called elitism.
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can just call it elitism. Saying 'so called' implies that someone else is calling it elitist, and you are using their terminology, with some implication that you don't entirely agree with the term's use in this scenario.
And eh. I was a TA in college. Depsite putting a lot of liquor and Chick-fil-a in my mouth, I wouldn't call it a real job.
CptSaySin ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 01:31:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a career is elite now?
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:05:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh oh. They're going to have an occupy high street movement against everyone with a job with benefits!
CptSaySin ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Damn those 1 percenters, with their "retirement planning" and "paid time off"!
Balmarog ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:33:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They used to say that shit to us in the Army all the time. "If you think this is tough wait 'til you get out there in the real world!" 3 years out and it's been a cakewalk compared to the previous 4.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:24:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Balmarog ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:37:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually did learn a few nice tips from those ACAP courses as some dumb punk who enlisted at 18.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:27:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Balmarog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah when you put it that way it does sound quite stupid. There were plenty of 30 and 40+ year olds in those classes and I'm sure some of them were in the same situation.
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, clearly this class is designed for the many people who join at 18 and do need help with all the bullshit one has to do in the adult civilian world.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I understand the mandatory part of it because they're trying to do something good for a large number of people, and 18 year old shit heads have a habit of skipping optional meetings. But I understand your pain.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:58:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people who use "irl"
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:05:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
me_irl
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/bee_irl
ctremmy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:07:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/woof_irl
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:48:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
meme too danks
MorallyDeplorable ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meatspace
sharknado-enoughsaid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when refering to non Internet stuff. Internet is so integrated in our lives how is any of this not real life. I can get arrested for things i say online that put me in real life prison. This comment will be read by a real life person who knows it's typed by an other real life person who sent it to a site made by real life people on a device invented by real life people.
Fuck "irl" Internet is real life.
It's as much real life as receiving a letter is
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 21:49:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Today's old people have no idea how much the world is fucked for today's young people. I'm 33 and kind of managed to climb on board just as the ladders were coming up, but I empathize with you poor bastards who not only got the raw deal but also got a horde of angry old people who think that you're lazy entitled shits.
"Why do they need minimum wage to go up? When I was their age, minimum wage was $3.74 an hour and we liked it!" Thanks for proving the point. After all the inflation your generation has caused, it takes $18 to match the same purchasing power as your $3.74. So even $15 is underpaying according to your rubric.
"Well the kids these days have the iPhones and the Netflix and all those other things, so they shouldn't whine!" The march of technology is truly amazing, and we all are blessed with affordable access to the wonders of computer science. But the things which actually matter in life, like land, and education, have gone way way up in price without a commensurate raise in wages.
TL;DR Gramps put himself through college with a part time summer job at McDonald's, but thinks his grandson (who works two jobs year round) is only buried in debt because "he's lazy and thinks the world owes him good time for free".
everydaygrind ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:29:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not to mention the rising costs of going to college. and the fact that there is no guarantee of a job/career with your 4 year degree.
8315On ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:37:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think people sometimes say "real life" to mean "my life"
uberfission ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:16:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Currently in the process of leaving academia and entering the 'real world.' So far my impression is that the 'real world' is different, but if anything it becomes more routine, but not necessarily harder.
All of that said, fuck those people, talking about the real world in a way to put you down is bullshit.
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:07:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From academia as in studying or teaching?
And the routine is the problem. Realizing the 8-5 is going to be your life for 40 years isn't a great feeling.
uberfission ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:30:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just finished grad school (MS, probably won't get my PhD) so both studying and teaching.
I'm a creature of habit so the idea of having a set schedule in the very near future provides a bit of comfort.
Bladelink ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:19:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to add here that after going from High School and University to working a 9-5 job, working a full-time job is waaaaay, waaay fucking easier than school. Like, holy fuck, they're not even comparable. You can leave work at work. You're much better compensated. It's monumentally less stressful, at basically all times. How do people think their job is so difficult?
dukearcher ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:15:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because "full time job" isn't a job, its a category? I work a full time job at a base level that has a huge amount of personal responsibility and liability and it's stressful as fuck.
You just fell victim to "real-life=my life"
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:10:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you kidding me? School is easy. You study, don't fuck up tests, and drink like a sailor for four years. Your meals are paid for, you don't have to clean your own bathroom, and their are no real responsibilities or consequences.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:56:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Opposite for me. I wouldn't call myself the brightest, so I struggle a bit with little free time. Most of my schooling was done before 21 sadly. And I DO have to clean my own bathroom. It sucks.
UnprecedentedPeas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you go away for school
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:46:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And if your at home, chances are your parents are making dinner at least some of the time, and you're probably not paying rent. You probably aren't drunk usually, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's easier to study sober.
pouscat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:30:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was almost 30 and finally going after my bachelor's, I walked into my university's job assistance office to sign up for help with my resume. The office helper was obviously a very young undergrad work study girl. When I told her why I was there she started this spiel on the benefits of the program like I wasn't aware already. In the middle of her speech was the phrase "when you get out in the real world".
I think I can count on one hand the number of times I have gotten so angry that my lips went numb. This was one of those times. I was working 60 hour weeks that summer and going to school full time. She was not only wasting my time with this speech (I walked in with a specific request only to be given the grand tour) but she was insulting me at the same time!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:06:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're not in the "real world" until you're an old fart-bag that can condescendingly tell young'uns they're not in the real world.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 16:25:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It means you lack perspective to properly understand your experiences. I worked a job to support myself since I was 14 and attended high school and then college. My perspective now, is far better developed than it was 30, 20, even 10 years ago.
When older folk say the real world, they are referring to the one they've come to understand through perspective you are currently lacking in. You are describing the shock of realizing that the way things are, the way things should be and the way things could be are very drastic and often distant things from one another. This is just one element of gaining a new perspective.
I'll let you know in another 10 years when I've come to understand this even better. I mean, its why I don't get all worked up about uber and stuff. Getting worked up is a young man's game, with too much energy and not enough outlet. But surely even now at my age I'm missing something. Like in WoW you don't just stop growing as a person once you reach LV60, one needs to accept that before LV60 there is a whole lot of grind and growth in between.
prezuiwf ยท 226 points ยท Posted at 17:26:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Just because you understand what it means doesn't make it a reasonable thing to say. I understand that when someone calls me a "fucking retard" they're saying I lack their enlightened perspective, but that doesn't make it not piss me off when people say it.
Using the "real life" phraseology is a way of devaluing all of a person's life experiences and insinuating that your experiences are more important or are the ones that matter. It also insinuates that age is the greatest informer of wisdom and that simply by virtue of being alive longer, you have carte blanche to criticize and feel superior when speaking with someone younger. I almost exclusively hear this phrasing from people who seem primarily interested in defending the legitimacy of their own position in life (eg. a person who believes he got to where he is entirely on his own and doesn't like to acknowledge the luck and help he had along the way). It's a way to shut down further conversation as age difference is indisputable whereas experiential difference is not and could potentially embarrass the elder person if the conversation goes below the surface. Oh, you graduated from a $4,000-a-year college in 1980, got a job at your dad's company and rose through the corporate ranks without ever having to interview for a job? Sounds like you must be a genius who has mastered the "real world," and who clearly has standing to call others lazy or not hardworking enough.
Additionally it assumes that the "real world" is one in which you get a job, buy a house, have kids, etc. Basically one of many life choices that exists, but that a person is eagerly attempting to convince you (and himself) is the only one that really matters, and that unless you follow in those exact footsteps your life has less worth. People following dreams other than that are labeled "slackers" or "dreamers" or any other connotation indicating they've yet to actually have "real lives." Anything that doesn't conform with the elder person's conception of what is good or useful is considered not part of "real life," and thus the "real life" phraseology is used as a catch-all to deride lifestyles on the pure basis that the elder person doesn't personally like them, or more to the point, hasn't experienced them and so dismisses them rather than having to admit he doesn't know all the answers.
But frankly more than all that is the fact that it's a complete dismissal of the person being spoken to. Their emotions, struggles, and experiences are, in one phrase, completely marginalized. It's a direct insult, and totally overshadows any legitimate point that's supposed to be made. It's designed to make the listener angry and make the speaker feel superior. No person genuinely trying to impart advice upon someone would ever belittle or insult them as a legitimate means of making their point. So it's pretty clear that regardless of whether you understand the meaning, it's reasonable to dislike someone who relies on this type of petty social positioning to boost their own ego.
fort_wendy ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:29:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is just beautiful. Marry me.
P.S. I'm a male. Will have ovaries transplanted so we can make babies.
FlamingSwaggot ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 00:02:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are an excellent writer.
dukearcher ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:08:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A 'writer' huh?
This is real life.
In the real world he'd have a real job, like me.
FlamingSwaggot ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:13:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL I almost downvoted you before I realized what you were replying to.
APiousCultist ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:30:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When will you kids with your silly office jobs join the real world and come and live as nomadic hunter-gatherers."
iaccidentallyawesome ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:40:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow. I love you so much for putting it so eloquently.
MySuperLove ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:41:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love this post. Excellent breakdown of a phrase I've always disliked.
VolatileBeans ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:05:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah...you like that, you fucking retard?
reunity ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 19:37:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your current perspective is so important to you because its all you have right now. You probably thought you knew everything when you were in 5th grade but then you realized you were wrong. This goes for the people talking shit to you too.
Everything you said is valid but I guarantee you that you'll think you were a fucking dumb ass 10 years from now. Pretty much everyone I know agrees.
prezuiwf ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 20:30:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one's disagreeing with you. The difference is how it's framed. "I have life lessons to impart" vs. "I know more than you, dumbass."
braken ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:10:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Once you get out into the "real world", you learn that "real" people just shrug this shit off. It doesn't matter what other people do say to you, if you know they're wrong. Ignore those people, or forever remain a victim. I think that you know that judging by your post, but still wanted to say it.
Frozenstep ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:23:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People shrug off all kinds of insults all the time. That doesn't make it okay to insult/belittle others. The person you're responding to is pointing out why "welcome to the real world" condescending and pretty worthless as an argument, in case someone thinks they're being helpful by saying it.
Scriptplayer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I made some upper-class 40 year old physically furious after a debate in which he also told me "welcome to the real world". It was said before a debate after I disregarded my first opposition since it wasn't entering his thick skull. He didn't want to think of my opposition. He just gave me a loud condescending laugh. His opinion was " I see no reason why you wouldn't have your ID". This is on July 4th. I actually tried giving him my reasons, but was muted consistently by his loud broadcasting voice.
I felt like I had taken the role of Socrates and had to argue with the dictator of North Korea. In short of that evening, if I were to describe him in a few words it would be: rude, obtuse, theatrical, and pretentious. Due to the fact that I was in his home (invited by his in-laws) I handled it as diplomatic as I could and should have. Here he was treating my behavior or maybe even my character as guilty which made no sense to me. I live in California and not carrying ID is not a crime. Eventually, I realized contrary evidence wouldn't work on him so I told him what he believed: So you believe that 100% of the time if someone leaves their home without ID, they are suspect to be considered criminals and/or have intentions to violate the law? He gave me a blank "no" expression. So the heat died down, but then while I drank a friends beer, he still had his torso pointed at me and I figured I should ask a concluding question. I simply said "I don't understand why you would assume people guilty so quick, you've heard of innocent until proven guilty?". Although, when I asked this I was trying to express : hey see how much cooler it is if you don't act paranoid about others?
This question made him snap and I left his home.
Shnazzyone ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 22:55:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually I say, the real world junk. When I see people under the age of 20 whine about perfectly normal things in life. Things you'll have to encounter every day as you get older and the responsiblity starts to pile on. In a way, yes, it's my way of calling you a whiny pussy without actually calling you a whiny pussy. Call it belittlement all you want, it will only make me giggle when your back is turned.
[deleted] ยท -24 points ยท Posted at 17:39:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't disagree with anything you've said, but it only takes one post by baconsheikh to notice he has come by his dismissive perspective honestly.
Nope. I actually started at my job via a co-op internship. My family was poor. I haven't lived with my dad since I was a tot. I worked up slowly, working in all parts of the business and have developed my skills to remain relevant in 2015 so much that I fit in pretty well with the fresh interns coming in today. In fact, other than my obvious greys, you probably wouldn't even know how old I was, well at least until I opened my mouth. I'm not at that company today, but I'm in the same industry just doing bigger and better things. I've earned everything I have, and it was not handed to me on a silver platter. While I will admit I was pretty fortunate to make friends with good people and not let them down to get where I was, I chalk this up to well developed perspective at a young age. An exploit if you will , which supports my premise.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:09:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 22:31:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you think I appealed to seniority you've completely missed the point of what I've said.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:00:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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fort_wendy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: I have more experience than you so all your points are invalid!
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 00:59:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough I mean I read every post carefully and tried not to rag on people for missing my pointa completely I hope you can see how I was mistaken with respect to your post as I have a lot of people confusing the fact that I'm claiming my position solely from a position of seniority.
I still don't care what anyone says 20yos Generally are overwhemlmingly arrogant and have less to offer than they think they do. See it all the time in my business. Was one once 20 myself.
GryphonNumber7 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:35:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but it's easy for you to be successful! You already put in all the work! /s
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 19:46:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL It was never easy.
You've got to be primed though to take best advantage of the opportunities you get though. Luckily I was, I learned a lot about adult life early because of my upbringing but I'd still love to kick 20yo me in the teeth. I thought I had it all figured out. It took me another 10 years to realize I still know almost nothing. It's probably the best damn lesson I've learned in my whole life.
Being ready, unlike the OP of this whole thread, to engage those that think differently than you is quite helpful in getting ahead in this world.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:16:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I'm much wiser than I was when I was 20. Aren't you?
darkwing_duck_87 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:22:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really glad you responded to his comment.
If you remove from his comment the paragraph you quoted, it doesn't confuse the central argument that you would still have to respond to.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 21:45:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure why I bothered. I guess if just a few people can benefit from what I have to say then it was worth it. The people who don't want to hear it won't. They will either learn it some other way, or never at all. So it goes...
What I've learned today, is that people have some pretty radical ideas about what the 'real world' means! I guess I had forgotten this.
codinghermit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:30:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is you linking perspective to age. Perspective comes through life experiance which is not always happening just because you are alive.
I'm reasonably young but I've got a perspective on par with or greater than people older than me. I started my career (software developer) right out of high school because I had 5 years of experiance doing everything from audio visual to microprocessor development to web design and several other things not worth listing. My job currently has me creating systems from scratch for Fortune 500 companies and I do everything from the architecture to the server to the client.
I know I have lots to learn still and I'm looking forward to it but you can't dismiss someones perspective as invalid just because its different from yours. You never know what life experiance someone else could have had which would not match up with their age.
If you want to still argue that my experiance is worthless and that age is the only defining factor, I'd love to hear your reasons.
Maskirovka ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://youarenotsosmart.com/2015/08/04/yanss-055-psychologys-long-obsession-with-the-weirdest-people-in-the-world/
While I agree with a lot of what you said, the white Western college age experience is an extremely narrow range when compared to the rest of the world (as the above link talks about), and by getting mad at a person who says this, you are belittling that person's experiences just as they are belittling yours. The real answer is to have a conversation about how you both feel, but feeling superior or getting annoyed and pissy doesn't make that happen.
BaconSheikh ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 16:32:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Lacking perspective != living in a fantasy world.
Furthermore, perspective doesn't necessarily come with age. I know several people who are double my age, and wouldn't last a day without their financial lifelines (SO, inherited money/positions etc.). They would be entirely lost and helpless without such lifelines. Some perspective they must have, right?
When older folk, typically baby boomers, say the real world, they are referring to their world - because that is the only one that matters in their minds.
Understand that the term is bullshit.
Want to say that I lack perspective? Say it with those words - you may be right or wrong, but that is an entirely different debate. Don't insinuate that everybody younger than you lives in a fantasy world, and ONLY your generation has a grip on reality.
[deleted] ยท -22 points ยท Posted at 16:36:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You see, man I just tried to frame what your elders are saying it differently for you and you downvote it. This is how you treat people who are trying to help you grow as a person, you lack perspective. You are viewing what they are telling you all wrong, because of course your experiences are valid! They are just incomplete and no one is ever finished building them.
If i had a dollar for everything my old man was ever right about.... (edit: It would turn out I was far more successful than him, younger, very much because of his perspective, and the fact that I was willing to use it as I build out my life, I could have listened to him far more often than I did)
Yeah me too like my mother. That doesn't mean she doesn't have perspective or valueable insight. Or that you even have any yourself.
Yes their world in which they have a lot more experience that you, wether you care to admit it or not. That experience is worth something.
Understand that if you are under 25 your brain is not yet fully developed. If you are under 30, you are just starting to gain full agency over your life. If you under 40, a family or exploring yourself to deeper levels. Understand that by 50, you may need to discard everything you thought you knew about yourself and others.
The fact that you are so cocksure about what perspective you have, puts you at your early 30s. You could be just past 25, but definitely under 35. Am I right?
poteryalastut ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:49:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Despite you trying to phrase it differently doesn't negate the fact that they are trying to imply their world is more "real" than BaconSheikh's.
I would say going to school and having two jobs is a very real perspective as to what the world is like. Now, if BaconSheikh was a basement dweller who did fuck all for a living, THEN his relatives would be more correct in talking about the "real world". As far as I see it, your age doesn't make you unable to exist in the "real world".
I have a mortgage and a full time job at 22, pretty sure I'm living in the real world, experience of the elders be damned.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:53:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
And here is where perspective comes in. Do you have any idea how many disgareements boil down to defensive semantics?
Like "real world" vs "perspective".
Yes, having a bad perspective on things is like living in a fantasy world. It's like wearing your sunglasses at night, a world that you see as real, is not the one that exists because your perspective filters input. The view you see through your polarized glasses is not the real world either.
Good for you, so did I. That doesn't mean that my perspective now is not better than it was back then. I had all sorts of crazy ideas about the world and how it worked, which empirically have proven false over the years. Some have proven true of course, we call these insights, but to suppose that a 22 year old person with a brain that is not fully developed physically, is going to have the same number or as good insights as someone who is 50 and has been through all of it before is a distinct lack of perspective.
I mean baconsheikh isn't even willing to entertain an alternative viewpoint here.
poteryalastut ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:05:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the initial discussion was regarding his relatives talking down on him not living in the real world. Perspective has absolutely nothing to do with that. It's apples and oranges, sorry.
I do agree, however, that one's perspective does change as they grow older. I never once mentioned that I have the exact same insights as a 50 year old. I simply said that, due to my responsibilities, I AM living in the real world. Perspective has nothing to do with this particular discussion.
And yes, I am also fully aware my brain is not fully developed yet. However that still does not change the fact that I am living in the "real world".
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 17:13:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
And again you are stuck on a semantic argument which you dispatched with isolation logic.
Let's look at your thought process here:
Premise 1 : "Perspective has nothing to do with what world you are living in" --/u/polertalastut in paraphrase. (This is not a fact but a metaphysical argument, not a proper premise, lacks perspective on logic. I'll grant you this one for the though experiment only.
Premise 2: /u/polertalastut's brain is not fully developed. (fact -ed)
Premise 3: Premise 1 is true (granted to illustrate my point -ed) despite the fact that Premise 2 is also true and deemed a scientific fact. (If Premise 2 is true, how can Premise 1 be true? -ed)
Conclusion: Sum of all premise is that /u/poteryalastut has full perspective on the reality of his world (no filters, edit for clarity -ed).
However, because Premise 1 is not actually true, and because Premise 2 is definitely and provably true, and Premise 3 relies on Premise 1 and Premise 2 to both be true, you are actually using isolation (creating your own truth, and then determining your observations to be true based on that contrived truth).
Basically, slow clap yours is the most genuinely irrational post in terms of completeness and consideration I've read today.
poteryalastut ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:18:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I can take you seriously due to the continuous mistyping of my username. Especially with your fully developed brain and all.
However, your paraphrasing is completely and utterly wrong. It all depends what we define the "real world" as.
My perception of the real world that was used in the original comment is the following: supporting yourself without relying on anybody else.
Your perception of the real world in that comment may be different. It doesn't make me wrong.
You can slow clap all you want, whatever makes you feel better. :)
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 17:24:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you noticed did you? Does this still mean my advice has no bearing on reality? Well because of your underdeveloped brain I imagine it does! You have not yet developed the ability to fully process conflicting information and feelings.
My Perception / My perspective. Are you really this dense?
Of course you're not wrong, just have a weaker perspective. It's sort of like how a baby can't actually see their parent's faces that well for the first few months of their lives. That process continues naturally throughout your entire life. You just haven't realized you are still in it.
poteryalastut ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:26:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know you, but I think you need a hug. I never once said that my perspective won't change as I grow older and develop further. But we are just going in circles now.
Have a great day, Mr. InTURRISting. (Note the correct spelling. I made that shit happen with my under-developed, baby fingers.)
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 17:31:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
I think you're missing the part where you used perception to describe their reality, and that everyone's reality is different yet we all experience the same base! It truly is all a matter of additional/different perspective to see the true reality (all colours of light, or the detail of our parent's faces, or abandoning of emotional filters).
I see we agree on a key point and I'm happy to leave it at that. I didn't mean to insult as part of illustrating my point. You too, and I hope some reflection on what I've said will help you reach new perspectives sooner.
These can give us great advantages over our peers!
Also no hugs required, I'm a super happy with my life and everyone in it! But thanks for being so considerate.
poteryalastut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:48:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now who has the ninja edit skills?
But really, you're funny and I dig that. ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 17:58:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I couldn't let a debate that ended in offer of a hug go unrequited.
Cheers!
poteryalastut ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:19:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, I am guessing your age puts you in the baby boomer category. Suddenly, your mortgage and full time job at 22 many moons ago is no longer as impressive, with the prices being around 20% of where they're at now.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
20% interest baby! And no I'm an early Xer, thanks for playing!
poteryalastut ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:22:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, not going to respond to my other comment? Dang, I was really enjoying this.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was just in progress don't worry poteryalastut, I will oblige, because unlike bacontwit, you are actually trying to discuss the issue at hand, which I've learned to respect over the years.
poteryalastut ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:27:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heheh this has been fun. I am sure you have a far greater perspective than I do, and I hope to one day reach it. I like your thought process, despite the fact that we clashed.
Edit: I have officially joined the ranks of people arguing via the internet. I don't know whether I should rejoice or not.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:14:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let us rejoice in our collective idiocy! :D
justrun21 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:53:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stating that you have a better perspective does not mean that the world you live in is any realer for you than it is for any other human being in the world. Sure, you have a different perspective now than you did then. Everyone changes their perspectives a little bit every day. But it doesn't make anyone else's reality false. As a self-proclaimed person with better perspectives, you should know this.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love your thoughts, thanks for sharing. I'm glad you made the point you made, I'm surprised there was counter arguments from the young folks - and I'm one of them. I'm just 24. But you're right, with age comes experience and perspective. Period. There is a certain amount of wisdom that older people have that all younger people should respect in a humble manner. That's not so popular with us young people though.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:34:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I know I'm begging to be flamed, but I thought maybe an Internet Stranger with no skin in the game might be their only hope.
The best part is knowing even if you accept what I've said as true, it's putting it in to practice that is the challenge for personal growth. Your perspective doesn't change unless you want/need it to.
HurtfulThings ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:54:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 32 and his posts are pissing me off. I'd put him at no older than 25, but I bet it's more like 21/22.
By 30 I realized that my "I know everything... now kindly fuck off" attitude was wrong and holding me back. I had realized all of those things my elders had said to me turned out to be mostly spot on, and if I had shut up and listened I would have been further ahead in life than I currently was. Hell, I think it started to sink in around 25 and hit me fully by 28.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:05:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is precisely how I feel and I'm even older.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 24 and he seems really childish. I'd put him at 17-19.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Blizz310 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:30:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an aborted fetus, and I'd put him in the balls of a pre-pubertal boy
Bnal ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 18:50:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say no older than 18, and definitely not in university and working two jobs. I'm in university and working two jobs, and I don't have nearly the amount of energy it would take to write that.
His points may be sort of alright, but his anger and insistance on using six-dollar words in every sentence ruin their validity. It's clearly written with someone specific in mind, getting very detailed about who he's passive aggressively arguing at. It reminds me of that Askreddit for people 14 and under a few weeks ago.
BaconSheikh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I honestly think that you are the one who lacks perspective if you can confidently make such judgments without knowing jackshit about me.
Oh, and yes, I'm under 35, but so is
90%a sizeable portion of Reddit. Congrats, that was a real mystery.[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it is your tact and the way in which you are responding to others that has revealed your age and quit frankly level of maturity. This is coming from someone who is 24 and living in the real world, who realized at an even younger age that I didn't know what the hell I was talking about and that it would be wise to listen to the adults around me who had been there, done that, and bought a souvenir.
[deleted] ยท -18 points ยท Posted at 17:14:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one is actually saying that, and that's what reveals you to be lacking in perspective and totally an adult, that we're no longer the boss of anymore.
Also nice Ninja Edit. Where were ninja edits back in the usenet days when we needed them?
And yes, almost everyone 18-30 lacks serious perspective on life and society around them. It's not just the decision you make, but how you talk and treat the people around you, and especially how you treat those who feel are lesser than you, like in this case your elders. It's okay chances are good you will come around one day, and you'll see what I'm talking about.
Or not, because you seem to take prescriptive advice like you take a taxi cab.
silverhydra ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:57:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I may retort to this comment:
I assume that you consider yourself an 'elder' (not overtly stated but insinuated) and that you have this perspective, but to agree with /u/curiouslifeform you're being quite defensive in these comments. From my perspective you took the parent comment, added your opinion, but then didn't attempt to even see eye to eye with anybody you are responding with.
You also appear to be talking down to many commenters who, from the way they speak, are likely younger than you; throwing metaphors at them in an attempt to obfuscate the conversation. This doesn't seem to be respectful and, given the condenscending tone you may or may not intentionally be using in the way you word your comments and occasional jabs ("because you seem to take prescriptive advice like you take a taxi cab"), makes it seem like you are a hypocrit.
I feel that you are not living up to your own definition of having perspective on the world. At the very least, you fail on having any perspective on trying to discuss topics on an online forum.
Anywho, rant aside, can you revist what you mean by 'perspective'? I'm wondering if you feel it's conditional for the context or just generalized perspective (ie. multiple viable perspectives or just one) and why you feel that those in the 18-30 age bracket lack 'serious perspective' even when achievements and landmarks in life were not mentioned.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 20:32:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I could respond to those points, but if in doing so I put myself in the 'defensive' category I won't bother. Just know that OP and I are from the same city and have crossed paths many times on Reddit. His original post set me off as 'not surprising'. Please understand there is my personal conversation with Bacon, and the one where I attempt to generalize for the purposes of discussion.
I'm not entirely sure what you are asking but what I am saying is that we all experience reality differently so I would answer "multiple perspectives". It is our personal reality that his parents are obviously referring to when they say the 'real world' they are referring to their 'world' (or if you will the sum of their perspective). If you accept that we all experience reality differently (interpretively) it stands to reason there is a reality we are not experiencing. This is the reality we are blind to. The sum of which when added to our collective perspectives approaches something like reality....but wait we can't even see that because we are all blind to someone's reality. The fact that BaconSheikh does not realize he is blind to their concept of reality is very revealing. However, we cannot know what he is dismissed about- is he dismissed about his politics, religion, or his opinion on his curfew for example? We cannot know because he will not tell us.
However, the nature of perspective is that it is cumulative in most cases. it comes from exposure to uncomfortable ideas, opportunities, observations that can only come over time. Physically (in the brain), as a general rule of thumb adults do not really hit their stride, or maturity until after they are 25. This is actually backed up by neurological study / science, and of course, continuous example.
Just because you can buy a house and pay a bill doesn't mean you've gained mature perspective. To be honest, if we allowed it, a 12 year old could do these things. Achievements and landmarks are not watermarks of perspective, they can certainly bring it. The fact remains that being passable as an adult does not make one wise or even worth listening to (See Vincent Adultman).
Similarly just because you are adult does not mean you have perspective, (which can be gained as it is lost) but there are some key ideas/concepts that indicate for it.
Anyway I hope my response is perceived as genuine and not pompous.
silverhydra ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:44:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It feels genuine, and I won't comment on you and Bacon crossing paths before because I feel like I don't want to open that can of worms; just gonna talk about stuff in this thread.
Anywho, I agree (for all intents and purposes) what you say about reality in your second paragraph except for the line:
I never picked up on Bacon being ignorant about anything. This comment and their parent one read, to me, as "we all have our own perspectives so stop saying that mine is a fantasy".
I also don't disagree that age is a good proxy measurement for perspective, although I am hesitant to suggest it's better than achievements (don't even know how we can debate which is more important and it seems redundant to do so), but in the end the original phrase of "real life/real world" in the context Bacon was describing was not comparing people's perspectives and trying to value them, it's just that Bacon's sentiment from what I understand is "don't shit all over what I believe".
That's why I think you're being targeted right now, because given that interpretation your first response started with "It means you lack perspective to properly understand your experiences" which pretty much just not only reads as an attempt to invalidate their experiences but also belittle their intelligence. It reads as "you're too young to understand what you see".
Thanks for the response anyways. I understand and respect your position on realities/perspectives but just had to give my input on how having our 'elders' attempt to value perspectives relative to each other and invalidate the perceived 'lesser' one is infuriating as hell.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:48:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No problem, no hard feelings.
I will submit though, "you're too [inexperienced] to understand what you see" is a very common problem that people have without realizing it at every level of existence.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:17:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
How can I please you? I hadn't realized I'd imposed upon your intellect by claiming precisely that I do not know everything (and neither do you or anyone else)!
That's right there is almost no one in this world but the truly and magnificently exceptional that knows what they are doing, and so far by official counts no one who knows everything. That is the entire crux of what I'm talking about here.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:20:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 18:27:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say that. Actually I can explain this: A deer in headlights is far more polite than a momma moose.
Dude I read all that, just take off the sunglasses when you turn off the lights and you should be able to muddle your way through life with that perspective.
Your first paragraph shows that you do not understand why older people act as if they are above you, what motivates them and what their exploits (some call this "love languages" are. You could be a better salesman if you explore what I'm talking about.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:42:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you are one arrogant and presumptuous son of a bitch. In all your years you haven't learned sensitivity or humility. You haven't learned how to communicate with people or how to share your knowledge without coming across as a jackass. So why would anyone take your "experienced" perspective seriously at all? Yea man all people younger than 30 are just deer in the headlights. GTFO dick head. You are one grumpy fuck-ass.
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 18:45:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's a metaphor that politeness and respect does not equal perspective. (edit: It works especially because a deer in headlights cannot see it's surroundings fully. A moose will not stand in the middle of the road trying to negotiate with the light, it will scramble due to its perspective on the threat.) I see that I'm talking to a deer, and I'll just gently swerve to avoid you, as usual.
It's still the moose I'm more worried about messing with.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:39:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're sitting here replying to everyone seemingly without getting riled up and we are - maybe that makes you feel more mature. But what you ARE doing is being a cool/collected and superior dickhead and pissing everyone off. Not very mature.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:47:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is like my daughter telling me I don't understand High School.
No, but it sure demonstrates it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you can't split apart the two parts of what I said and dismiss them separately. you are acting cool (makes you feel mature) but in reality you are just being superior and pissing people off (not mature) Get it now? Being cool and collected (although also superior fuck) doesn't demonstrate maturity BECAUSE of the rest of the story (pissing people off).
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:57:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure I'm not just superior? How can you tell?
Perspective.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:05:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A person with as much perspective and experience and wisdom as you claim to have would have been able to tell the original commenter that "yes its true old fucks shouldn't treat younger people dismissively but the truth is that younger people don't listen well and older people are not always mature enough or wise enough to communicate in a way that young people will be receptive to"
I'd imagine if you had acknowledged the partial truth of what he said then he'd have acknowledged the partial truth in what you had to say. But you don't have the perspective to know that communicating with people (esp when you're trying to teach them something) usually requires you to demonstrate the empathetic understanding they seek.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was empathetic with him. I'm sorry you didn't feel that I was.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if yall have crossed paths many times on reddit it's understandable he might not perceive your empathy. But it wasn't apparent to me either. And I'm a relatively objective bystander (at first) in this situation because I didn't know either of you or have any strong feelings either way other than I did relate (have empathy) towards what he said. You clearly did not because you just told him he was wrong without acknowledging the truth in what he said (overly dismissive old fucks).
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I chose to empathize with the idea that I was once in his shoes. ( I'm less focused on his elders, which of course will be dismissive! from their perspective this guy is just impossible to discuss anything with!)
BewhiskeredWordSmith ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:35:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a terrible metaphor.
A moose would charge at the light and try to threaten it, because it believes itself to be bigger and stronger than it. It believes that it is superior.
Of course, the only reason the moose even reacts that way is because the moose is afraid of the light; it's different and new - it's something the moose hasn't experienced before in its life. Obviously this fact makes the light dangerous and wrong. Back in the moose's day, we didn't have artificial lights. When the big yellow circle went behind the mountains and the trees got harder to see, we just walked slower. We didn't need these new 'technologies' like small white circles!
You seem very defensive of your position that "I've seen more things than you have" makes you better than other people. Are you afraid that you're a moose who's being left behind because your life experiences have less value now than they did at the time?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. Not my experience with moose in the bush, but no worries! I used a light to defend myself when I found myself face to face in the bush with a Momma and her young carrying a bunch of fish back to camp. They most certainly did not charge at me and actually relocated to avoid it. Either way it was a quip just to show that two animals have two different reactions to the same threat, and that one will act wiser than the other based on those perspectives. The moose would also be right to dismiss the deer's perspective if they could discuss it.
Please don't personalize my generalities. I am not better than most people, but I have seen a lot more than those half my age, and I have a lot of good perspective to offer someone who is lacking.
What is this Dr. Phil?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:35:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like you. You're not listening to anybody responding to you -everyone responding is reacting very negatively to the way you are expressing yourself.
yea well being a know-it-all isn't a sign of someone with perspective either
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 19:40:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not true at all, actually what I'm saying is very controversial with huge swings either way. Which is about right since Reddit's median age is 35. I've had some nice conversations with people who were curious about what I was saying, as well quite a number of people telling me I'm bang on.
That is a terrible riposte.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:57:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been through the whole comments section. The couple of people that agree with you (no huge swings in both directions) are just unaware (or refusing to acknowledge) that the problem the original commenter had was with older people completely dismissing his perspective. You act like it is justified. It is never justified. People feel the way they do for a reason and you cannot invalidate that simply because you have different experiences.
lol its kind of a riposte I guess - but its also a valid point. Your little "That is a terrible riposte" is a terrible riposte in itself and NOT a valid point because it's point was to invalidate my point which is still valid though being a riposte. Fuck you.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:00:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have knowledge that there is a specific perspective the OP had that required attention rather than dismissal? Because the OP has demonstrated exactly nowhere on reddit the kind of maturity required to engage in viewpoints contrary to his own.
A riposte is a direct response to an insult. I dismissed your insult, with no response which means it is not a riposte. Parry / Riposte not the same thing.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:11:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The thing is that your parry didn't adequately ward off my attack (the point I was trying to make). So it falls into being a dismissive riposte because I actually made a point and you tried to dismiss the thing I said as merely a a quick clever reply to an insult or criticism (riposte). My point was that although you are acting superior and telling everyone how they are wrong (being a know-it-all) you are not demonstrating that you have a mature perspective because you can't do it without being a dickhead and pissing everyone off.
Edit:
You did not adequately dismiss my insult (really more of a criticism worded meanly) and you didn't do it with "no response": your response to what I said (you even quoted me to show me exactly what you were responding to) was to call my point a riposte - which I have shown is untrue (I had a valid point and communicated it well enough).
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You called me a know-it-all because I insulted your sensibilities. I dismissed your riposte by not addressing it with another attack. Did I insult you by calling it a terrible riposte? I mean it was lazy, but are you a lazy person? Probably not. You've come this far.
No one is wrong, well unless you truly believe a 20 year old more often than not, has more perspective of life than say someone twice their age.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comment just seems like you are having some error-cannot-compute troubles in your brain.
I called you a know-it-all because that's what you were acting like. You probably did offend my sensibilities but that is not why I called you a know-it-all.
lol calling my point a riposte IS an attack (and as I've pointed out you even quoted me to show me exactly what you were addressing)
jeesus dude - I never said I think a 20 year old has more perspective. Just that their feelings are valid and that young people do have some perspective.
You are wrong though - because you still have yet to acknowledge that old people tend to be overly dismissive of young people's perspective. Its not that we have to ignore that old people have more perspective. But that doesn't mean we have to be dismissive of young people. If you don't take young people seriously then they don't listen. Simple fact. Only the mature will listen even when someone is being a dismissive prick.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No it isn't.
I apologize for this statement breaking your brain. I never accused you of saying this. I said no one is wrong unless you truly believe....ergo you are not wrong.
I've only suggested that adults are dismissive often with good reason. But next time I need minecraft modding advice I'll be sure to ask my kids.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cuz that's the only thing youth can offer ;)
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a joke, but there was that young whippersnapper in my city who reinvented the biodegradable plastic bag.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The thing is I only saw how you reacted to his comment - not all of his actions on reddit. I have some empathy for the way he feels about the way old people completely dismiss young people. Often times old people, being out of touch, are actually lacking in perspective in their own way. I allow them that and listen to what they have to say. As a general rule they do not reciprocate. So he had a valid point as far as I could tell and it doesn't matter what the rest of his actions/behavior was on reddit.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and I have mentioned it twice at least which just shows that you haven't been listening to what I've said lol.
His point was that he hates it when older people tell him he's not in the real world. Though they may have a point about him lacking some measure of perspective they choose to tell him in a way that suggests none of the perspective he does have means anything - which just isn't true. He hates the overly dismissive attitude. A mentor/father figure of mine is always telling me that my actions and reactions are indicative of youth/immaturity. But he communicates it in way where he expresses the specifics of his vast experience that give him greater perspective. And he always says something to the extent of "I can see why you feel that way . . . " to validate my feelings. He is way more mature than you'll ever be most likely.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no I read your posts fully, I just think you are reading between the lines of a pretty standard, wah my family elders don't listen to me rant. I mean for all you know he could have a screw loose?
Furthermore notice how conciliatory my posts were until I started receiving insults. I do very much understand where he is coming from.... I was 20 and full of piss and vinegar once too.
Anyway your mentor is pretty damn good, I'm glad you listen(ed) to them. I just wonder what they would think of this post
At any rate no one of is perfect and your candor improved greatly, so I'm willing to forget.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:54:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here is something he said to you in response to your very first comment (which was in direct response to his original comment):
"Want to say that I lack perspective? Say it with those words - you may be right or wrong, but that is an entirely different debate. Don't insinuate that everybody younger than you lives in a fantasy world, and ONLY your generation has a grip on reality."
I'm not reading between the lines. He understands that the thing here is that old people are being overly dismissive. Some dismissive-ness would be acceptable, I guess, but the kind of thing he mentioned that he hates specifically is too dismissive.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I clearly stated multiple times that everyone lives in a fantasy world of our own creation, and that old people are dismissive of him naturally because we all view practical reality instead of the world as it truly is. I explained the reasoning why they are distrustful, dismissive, and why it is not entirely unreasonable. (If not honestly based on his own examples). I'm sure you also missed the part where he is off trolling people who don't agree with him politically day to day on here.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:02:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if that's the case then I hope people troll him right back.
Anyway its crazy to have such lengthy engagement with someone on reddit; so whatever the end of all of this thanks for not being a casual. In other words even though we've disagreed I have had a measure of enjoyment. I should probably stop calling people names though . . . but I'm young and immature and it feels good sometimes ;)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:05:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats cool I understand. I'm in middle age and I still love a good name calling I have a long way to go- even if I think I understand the nature of the problem.
Thanks for not being a filthy casual either!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And yet your candor, even here, is that of a superior know-it-all fuck-ass ;)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:00:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're outside and you find yourself suddenly soaked, it could be some asshole with a bucket, or it could just be raining. :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet it was the asshole with the bucket - he's always hiding around the corner in wait.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:06:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ollie
Cheers mate
Lespaul42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:41:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think something to mention here I have noticed that goes along with this is that the opposite happens as well. As we age though we gain more perspective on the larger things in life we also begin to forget the day to day struggles of our younger self. Everything is relative. If you are a 6 year old kid and your favorite thing is Ninja Turtles and your best friend in the world is Steve and one day Steve tells you he thinks Ninja Turtles suck and laughs at you and all the other kids laugh at you, this could literally be the worst thing that has ever happened to you and when adults say in a week or two no one will remember that happened well that is close to 1% of your entire cognitive life.
There will always be shit to get worked up over that won't matter at all 10 years down the line... but that doesn't mean it doesn't matter now.
I will say though it is one thing to dismiss someone's problems because they don't live in the "real world" it is something else entirely when some shit thinks they have all the answers when they don't have the wisdom that comes with age that they are full of shit.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Are we talking though of dismissing someone's problems? or Dismissing their opinions? based on lack of perspective.
The first I would agree is reprehensible! I mean unless of course the person is to incorrigible to help.
The second I would say is practical. Humans aren't anything if not practical.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:38:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bit condescending to say "the real world" when you mean "my world," though, isn't it.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed but don't you think that bacon could probably interpolate that to something more useful? Or maybe he is dismissed because he really has nothing to offer l.. I meam its not like he gave us any actual situation
SilasX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
None of that excuses you from having to justify your opinions, which is how the phrase gets used.
"When you experience X, then you'll understand!"
'Wow, X will remove my ability to articulate my thoughts and make me use it as a trump card in every argument? Then I better avoid X!'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just be sure to have her back by 11pm.
THUMB5UP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:35:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well said.
dirtydela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's just one of those things that comes with growing up.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sister used to use this line on me when she thought I was being a square.
I was being a square, but it was still an inane thing to say.
Encyclopedia_Tom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family did this to me forever, until I moved away. How old are you? Often they do it when they still consider you a baby / or you are still in school.
BaconSheikh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
School (final year of bachelor's in Sept) + FT govt job + PT TA job
Encyclopedia_Tom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doing just fine. Tell your uncle and whoever else to stop being shitters and be happy for you/respect you, and if they still suck know that -I- am happy for you. :)
BaconSheikh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I appreciate the kind words.
stabbyfrogs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The greater irony is that the people who would tell you this probably live an extremely sheltered life and have little clue what "the real world" is actually like.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont necessarily think this is untrue. The only qualm I have to this would be that the phrase "real world" could be replaced by "working world" or something along those lines. Children in middle school or high school often are shielded from how the world operates and responsibilities. You just go to school and that is your life. You dont worry about bills, taking care of a family, or anything like that. Obviously the people who use it to belittle others are dicks but I dont think that the phrase itself is always unwarranted.
LithisMH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it might be in-game currency.
(http://aeon.co/magazine/science/can-we-tell-if-reality-is-a-computer-simulation/)
Although life has some messed up programmers. Life needed more QA time
SkyPork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who is likely in the same age range as Uncle Shit-for-Brains, I'm happy to say I fucking hate it when people do that too. Age does not necessarily give you wisdom, and doesn't by default make you smarter or more experienced than a younger person.
mirrorwolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always just wanna say "THIS IS THE REAL WORLD FUCKER. DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A GAME TO YOU??"
HalfBakedTurkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he thinks he's stuck in the Matrix. Just tell him to go swollow the red pill already
runetrantor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are subtly trying to tell you that you are in a Truman Show setup, without blurting it outright and risking getting fired? :P
HairlessSasquatch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like your relatives are just shit heads
smegma_toast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, agreed. People say it to invalidate literally all of your life experiences. That and "life isn't fair, get used to it". Both are often used to justify antisocial behavior that negatively affects others, or justifying other people's behavior.
hedgehoghatch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:43:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the only time i find this acceptable is when military personnel use it to refer to civilian life otherwise its just used to be super condescending
PrimeIntellect ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
College was honestly a far more stressful experience to me than working ever has been. I work 70+ hour weeks climbing radio towers, sometimes during blizzards, storms, dust storms, or in insane heat. I've had tools and massive equipment fall near my head, and the threat of death is always nearby. Injuries are common and stress levels can get extremely high.
Guess what I have nightmares about? Forgetting about registering for a class or taking a test and dumb shit like that, and I graduated almost 5 years ago.
allmilhouse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recently started a new full time job and the other day I was thinking how much easier it is than being a student.
Sebulbasaur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Likewise a lot of my college aged peers like to say "real job" when they mean "office job." I hope someday they let that slip in front of a career custodian and realize how fucking offensive it is to call any job not a "real job."
todayismyluckyday ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who tend to talk about the "real world" are usually people who are miserable with their own existence and wish the same misery upon you.
It's either that, or they are talking to a 14 year old kid who thinks their world is ending because they can't find a date to the dance.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old people will never get over themselves.
Tgs91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been in the work force for about a year. It is so much easier than college. Imagine college, except at 5:00, you just leave and don't worry about it until the next day.
No all nighters. No studying way more than 40 hrs a week. And you get paid!!!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the same vein, "Your school/college years are some of the best times of your life."
Oh, really now? Thanks, I'm glad you weren't miserable there. I'm also glad that there's no chance to grow outside of college.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"its not the real world until you know what the stresses of being an adult are like" the fuck do you know how large the stresses are of my future and the world I live in that is going to shit and its going to by my generations problem
egm03 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my dad uses this all the time, and I'm just like :|
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't agree more. I hate how so many people use it as if its a socially acceptable phrase. I'm surprised how many people dont realize how idiotic they sound when they say it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus when people tell me that college is nothing and that the real world is much worse. Fuck that shit, I've been lucky enough to work in my field for a bit through an internship, that shit was way better and less miserable than college work.
patrickpdk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't agree more... And I'm 37. Life's not an ascension, it's just a path
kvaltx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
bigwood88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While I totally agree with you, it truly is amazing how you view on what the "real world" is as you grow up... I remember at 20 thinking exactly as you... then again at 30... and even now I look back at my 30 year old self and say, "Just wait for the real world"
HatchetToGather ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when I hear this said to high school students too.
I'm moved out on my own. I'm shit broke living in a pretty damn small apartment. I cook my own meals, clean my own place, buy my own gas. I'll punch you in the mouth if you say I'm not living in the real world.
Well, I don't mean that. It'd probably break my hand and I can't afford a hospital visit. I'd just look at you angrily.
But I hated high school much more than this. I have nightmares that I'm a teenager again.
How about we all admit none of us really know what the fuck we're doing instead of acting like grizzled old veterans because we pay our rent.
fizzygalacticus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While I completely agree with this, there are some people that definitely need a reality check.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know it wasn't intended this way, but I laughed really hard while reading your comment, especially at the Sims part. It was so animated. Thank you for that.
BaconSheikh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I try to put some zeal into these responses :P
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They lived in a time where the economy was so lop-sided in favour of the average American that they could afford a house, college, under a single income earner.
They don't know shit about today's "real world". They'd crumble if they ever had to re-enter today's workforce.
ProfCompactHardship ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, "real world" means "place in your life where you are unhappy and are not proud of anything you do." I've only been told about the "real world" by people I did not admire or respect, which made it easy for me to decide never to go there.
TheRedBull28 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have an aunt who said this to me when I got my first job. The thing is, she barely ever works and lives of benefits/welfare. I replied somewhat instantaneously "Yeah, when will you be joining us?", that wiped the cheeky shit eating grin off her face.
justifiedanne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have hated that phrase since 1981.
I will happily go to my grave never having once inhabited the "real world". The only people who live in the "real world" are delusional.
Windyvale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Getting this from a lot of people at my work because I am a physics student working in an engineering department. Of all the things, I'm working right alongside these people, how am I not in the real world? If anything, physics is as real as the world can get, sorry for wanting to contribute to our understanding of it.
starhawks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my fuck yes. My older sister says this to me all the damn time. She thinks because she has a 9-5, and that I'm a grad student, I haven't experienced the real world. It drives me up the fucking wall.
coppercore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with this 100%.
I'm 28 now so it's not so bad, but when I was just a bit younger I used to get this bullshit. It got old really fucking fast.
Even now, I see older people do it to younger people and it makes my blood boil. People seem to forget how difficult stuff was when they were younger.
I like to think of it this way:
Nobody actually knows what the fuck they are doing. Everyone just bumbles around, fucking up, learning from said fuck up, and continuing on with life. Everyone just wings it, period.
I had this epiphany when I was 25. It took a massive load off my shoulders, it really did.
So to those of you who constantly talk down to people younger than you, fuck you. You shouldn't dismiss someone just because they are younger.
Judge people based on their actions, not their age.
DeMented1990 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost like people who say that want to see you struggle and be embittered with life.
BaconSheikh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience this is true - I have some very toxic family members.
Gangreless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man I would love to live in The Sims, I don't know any cheat codes for real life :c
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorite quotes:
--Edsger Dijkstra
battraman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck YES! Top add to your comment, I hate when they follow up with how "lucky" you are. Yeah, I worked two fucking jobs and went to school at the same time and lived with (and paid rent to) relatives so that I could be the first in my family to go to college. But yeah, I'm just lucky that I got a job and worked and saved and was frugal for years to afford a house.
Fuck these people to hell!
PhoenixCaptain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you're a kid- "dont break anything"
When you're a middle schooler- "We are preparing you for high school"
When you're a teen- "We are preparing you for the real world"
When you're an adult- "dont break anything"
whiskeymann ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just piling on. My brother and I, my whole life. From my parents. We're 28 (twins).
KelMage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! I had an uncle who said I was liberal because I was a student and when I finally started paying taxes I would be conservative so fast.
Bitch, I got into the 'real world' and realized your generation has sucked the natural resources of our world dry, is the most 'entitled' generation in history, and has left our social safety net in shambles. I want to be taxed, I want to tax you greedy bastards into the ground, and I have become monstrously more liberal the more I age and see how horrible your generation is.
Happy graduation mother-fucker, I'm your worst nightmare.
MantaDelRay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was getting tea at Starbucks one day and brought my laptop so I could do some homework. The cashier asked me what I was studying, I told him and made some sort of small talk comment about looking forward to graduating and being done with the whole mess. He then said, "Yeah. I remember being in college. Just wait until you're in the real world, you'll wish you were back in school." I informed him I was in grad school and had already had a stint in the real world for about a decade before working on my master's. He was such a patronizing ass.
Tokentaclops ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well they might have a better view of the real world up on that high horse.
erispie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your older relatives are clearly people clinging to the adult conspiracy and are terrified to admit that we're all in the same world, figuring shit out as we go.
rolfraikou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my longest-lasting friendships was ended by this.
An old friend of mine got some kind of high off of being a teacher.
I work as a graphic designer, full-time. I've been with the company for years.
She pitched going to breakfast on a saturday at 7am, and I said "I like to sleep in on my weekends, could we meet up some other time, or for lunch or something?"
She said she had a very busy schedule, then gave me a lecture about being an adult, being part of the "real world", and how in a real career you wake up early every day.
It was so absurdly condescending, and considering I worked full time years before she did, lived on my own years before she did, and am older than her, I realized she just wasn't a friend anymore.
If that's how she views the world, there's something wrong with her. I hang out with friends to relax, not to get shit on.
So not only is this the phrase that instantly makes me dislike someone if I've just met them, it even works if I've known them for nearly a decade.
cellardoor1988 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 30-years-old. I'm the youngest of 6 children by 15 seconds. I'm the only one with a workable college degree (the only one who graduate from college). I'm the only one who can hold down a job longer than a year and, yet, everyone (my grandmother especially) condescends to me that I'll "understand when I grow up" or "wait until you grow up" or "wait until you're a mother".
WTF. I'd also like to add that the latter phrase is never used in an appropriate context. Like, I'll make a statement about general life and Grams will pull that one out. It's almost as if, because I don't make severely fucked up decisions, I'm second class. I have to make a concerted effort to push down the rage whenever it happens.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only time I have ever enjoyed this phrase was when my ex used to say "it's cold out in the real world, let me into the goddamn bed". That is the only acceptable usage
pilotincomplete ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I train pilots in simulators and fly commercial jets. I tend to use 'real world' quite a bit in explaining some differences.
Simulators don't have panicky passengers or cabin crew to manage in an emergency.
BaconSheikh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's an appropriate use of the term.
WeylandYutani42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Convenient that "the real world," to the person saying it, is always the world view that panders to whatever they think is right, or wrong with the world.
A: "BLACK PEOPLE BLAH BLAH BLAH"
B: "Hey, whoa, that's really racist."
A: "PSH, Oh come on, grow up- welcome to the real world"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, highschool and middle school teachers treating college as "the real world", and saying you won't be ready for it, rude awakening etc.. And then using that as justification for giving you shit loads of busy work.
Fuck, I actually had a more pleasurable, easier time in college than highschool.. Sure some things were harder, but they seemed easier, maybe it was the extra freedom, or the atmosphere..
Just hated how they used that as justification for giving you useless busy work that they know won't help you..
katha757 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my senior english teacher in highschool making fun of any phrase that used "real life", because we're apparently living in a "fake life" right now.
pethcir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I've always been so frustrated when people talk about the "real world" as if going to school and working is some sort of security blanket. It's stressful, but don't tell them that. "Oh you think this is stressful? Wait until you enter the real world."
I'm all worked up now. Thanks.
NicholasCagesG00ch ยท 6472 points ยท Posted at 15:39:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only 90's kids will get this!!! Despite the fact that they were born in 1998.
CDC_ ยท 5166 points ยท Posted at 16:38:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who was born in 1985, and considers myself a legit 90s kid...
Yes, I remember Nickelodeon. Yes.. yes the cartoons were cool. Yeah, I get it. Nostalgia. Calm the fuck down.
DrDisastor ยท 1972 points ยท Posted at 17:09:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Wanna grab an Ecto-Cooler and watch some power rangers with me? We can bitch at these children who think they are suddenly old because they were alive in the 1900's.
CDC_ ยท 930 points ยท Posted at 17:11:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the interest of transparency, I really wouldn't mind tasting ecto-cooler again.
DrDisastor ยท 505 points ยท Posted at 17:14:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Recipe
I figure if it's not as advertised you can throw some vodka in there and watch the movies anyway.
JagerBaBomb ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 22:13:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, it seems silly to me that the makers of Hi-C haven't realized just how much of a license to print money releasing limited batches of this stuff would be.
bordy ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:57:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like a short run of crystal Pepsi.
Except the Pepsi run would be short because we'll all remember how meh it really was.
ShadoWolf ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:40:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would go for some vanilla coke or pepsi.. although granted you can make it yourself by adding some vanilla extract to a can.
girlikecupcake ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:49:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vanilla coke is still sold though, at least where I'm at (Texas). Get it at Kroger all the time!
ShadoWolf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:58:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
up in good old canada. You can still sort of find it for like $20 a case at speciality shops up here.
GEARHEADGus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The hell? I can walk 5 minutes to the grocery store and buy a case for however much coke is lol
girlikecupcake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, that's barely more expensive than buying from amazon (who might charge more for shipping to your part of the continent). I'm glad you've at least got the specialty option. It'd be smart for Coke to offer it in your markets again, it's still rather popular in the places that do still have it.
ShadoWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The odd part is, it was really popular back in 07 iirc. But I just sort of died out. The shitty side of living in canada we some times get left out of some of the great snack foods and crap.
TERRAOperative ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can buy it everywhere in Australia, I love it and used to buy it all the time, but in Japan we only get limited runs of lemon coke (which is also awesome, and released in limited runs in Australia).
Oh, I had an orange coke the other day from 7-11, it was ok.
Shaggyninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's huge in Aus. If they sell Vanilla coke, I'm buying it over regular.
masterkenji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We have vanilla coke everywhere in Illinois, I miss Pepsi blue. You're making me paranoid they're gonna take another one of my drinks.
0OKM9IJN8UHB7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vanilla Pepsi Throwback is a thing, as is Cherry.
BGYeti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can find it regularly at my local subway, only real reason to go there.
i_wanted_to_say ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I liked the original crystal Pepsi, but then they changed the formula and it tasted a bit like licorice maybe?
angie6921 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, I would still buy it. And even if it was bad, I would still drink it. But I would kill for fruitopia to come back. That shit is delicious. I know I can get it at McDonald's but I just wanna go to the gas station and buy it.
RoflCopter726 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LA Beast is making it his life goal to bring back Crystal Pepsi.
carpetbowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got WAYHYPE when I found Surge in a convenience store a few weeks ago. I might go try and find that convenience store tomorrow...
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:44:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't think they're going to re-release it again after the new Ghostbusters movie comes out, well, you might be right.
But damn it would be a good idea.
UNSTABLETON_LIVE ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:02:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit hug of death strikes again.
l3esitos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:13:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1 hour later.. Still down.
BobRoberts01 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:22:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
9 minutes later....back up!
Lowbacca1977 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Down again
AlenaBrolxFlami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still down.
beepbeepitsajeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was down for about 10 minutes of trying 10 hours later for me. Oh, reddit.
CDC_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:17:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough.
AgenderCaterpie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you a lot! I never got to have an ecto cooler, so this is awesome! :]
guilty_bystander ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:03:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those are so sick - toss me a Surge!
PersnicketyPrilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have made this recipe many times, and it is delicious. Great with vodka in it. I even made jello shots with it once.
Lowbacca1977 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean ectoplasm with it once
PersnicketyPrilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is what we called it, yes.
Lowbacca1977 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:09:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for not letting me down
Delacroix192 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We gave the link the Reddit hug of death.
PATXS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saved.
PM_PICS_OF_ME_NAKED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And we killed it.
darealdsisaac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We gave it the 'ol reddit hug of death.
forlackofabetternerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
just tickled to death
Spiffydudex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saving this for later...when it's not down and dead. Ectocooler recipe.
brygphilomena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah the good old reddit hug of death.
MelodyMyst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is Ecto Cooler the same as Cactus Cooler? That's what green Hi-C was called in the 70's when I came up.
kblaney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.
NotMyCircus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone please mirror this or write it out here? Please, it's very important!
richmana ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:46:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Marry me
tunelesspaper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try Orange-Tangerine Juicy Juice. It's surprisingly close.
LRose1825 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is an alcoholic drink called the ecto-cooler! I don't know if it's a widely known thing but 2 years ago at the New Hampshire state comic convention (GraniteCon) it was one of the featured drinks and it's really good.
Alethiometer_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard the government has a hangar full of the stuff.
zaccus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, they don't make ecto cooler anymore?
CoolHandRK1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
V8 Splash Carrot Orange is the same flavor. I know that sounds odd, but trust me.
Hygienic_Sucrose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://flavorwest.com/index.php/ecto-cooler-type.html
Get the flavour concentrate and put it in everything!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ecto-cooler is just hi-c orange that you can get at mcdonalds, isn't it?
Snuggles596 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mix the Blue Powerade from the McD's fountain to get that green color.
jrrobb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vodka, melon liquor, lime juice. Shake, strain, and add redbull.
docbauies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
go to new orleans. get a hand grenade. get super wasted on alcoholic ecto-cooler.
nnklove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or Surge. Goddamit I miss you, Surge.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't ever try it, let it's memory continue unchanged! It is so sweet my 30ish year old taste buds can't handle it...
saintwhiskey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've had it recently and it's not great.
turbod33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't had one in 20 years and I still remember what it tastes like.
JudeOutlaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vape. It's everywhere.
Aero_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I distinctly remember ecto-cooler having the sour/burning aftertaste of vomit.
Crayonception ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MT Baker Vapor has an Ecto-Cooler Ejuice if you are an ecigarette user. Its pretty good tbh
DrDigDown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With the new Ghostbuster movie being made, I'm hoping they bring back Ecto Coolers. I'm gonna do what I always wanted to as a kid and pound down a whole pack of those things. Will probably get diabeetus but worth it. Then I'm gonna play some Yoshi's Island, maybe watch some Rocko's Modern Life until I pass out.
danimalod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather have a Surge.
brainkandy87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm certain the Ghostbusters reboot will be kind to us in regards to this.
VampireSurgeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assumed ecto-cooler was a term from Danny Phantom that I forgot about.
jachjohnson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also Mt baker Vapor makes an echo cooler flavor for ecigs, I don't know if you vape, but it's a pretty good flavor.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:28:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
DrDisastor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:06:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:46:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DrDisastor ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:20:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was cheese back in the 90's. Kind of made it entertaining. I found out later it was just re-cut with an american cast and new story lines that made more sense to US audiences. I bet it does not hold up even from the cheese appeal.
silvershark76 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't imagine that it holds up well. Power Rangers has to be the cheesiest kids show out there and I realized this even as a kid. It would definitely be a cringeworthy watch.
ImageOfInsanity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Power Rangers has always been super cheesy. My boyfriend is a gigantic fan of the show and still watches it to this day and while I initially wrote him off on it, the show does have a lot of really good qualities.
IIRC, MMPR premiered on Fox Kids which I'd guess that most low-income families, especially kids, watched regularly. While the quality of the show isn't spectacular by any means, one notable thing that the show should be applauded for was how it approaches community and positivity. Most of the episodes of MMPR had the Rangers typically doing something productive with their time like being physically active, doing charity events, and community service in general. I've watched a good deal of recent kids programming like Adventure Time, Regular Show, and Gravity Falls, but I don't think those shows necessarily approach those concepts as transparently or effectively as MMPR did. Seeing that now, makes me regret not knowing about it or taking it as seriously as one can take Power Rangers, I may be less of a selfish cynic as a result. I don't know if the current seasons keep those concepts in mind but those concepts are super important for kids to learn at a young age.
If you have a kid and they're watching TV, feel free to get nostalgic and re-watch at least MMPR. Hopefully, they might learn too.
gravshift ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watch original super Sentai series.
Makes more sense in that goofy Japanese way.
MmmmBeer814 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:52:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer some good old All-Sport.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The biggest mistake ever was me watching Power Rangers on Netflix. Of the handful of awesome episodes, there are three times as many awful episodes.
Paddy_Tanninger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:59:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No thanks, but if you've got an Orbitz I'm game.
ParanoidPacifist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:48:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Everyone always gave me those because I was the only one out of my friends and relatives that liked the stuff. It freaked everyone else out. More Orbitz for me!
Paddy_Tanninger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
World's most gimmicky drink but damn if I didn't buy it every time I walked down to the convenience store when I was young.
christhetwin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time someone mentions that, I remember the time I drank a ton of it and threw it up at my Dad's work.
DrDisastor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:22:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was there like a free ecto-cooler banquet or something?
siegewolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's all about Sharkleberry Fin Kool-Aid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever people ask me if I was a 90's kid I always say no, even though I was born in the late 1990's, then they get all mad when I tell them my birthday and say "but you were born in the 90s!" Bitch I was a baby.
DrDisastor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:09:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being a 00's kid what do you wax poetic about?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmm PS2? I was born in '99. Majorly PS2, Wii and a couple of Children's TV shows I watched a lot.
guiltypleasures ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:19:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure what your significant digits. I would consider most people born at the start of the 20th century old.
SketchyLogic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
>Wake up early on Saturday so you can read the newspaper cartoons
>Father showing off his automobile that reaches 20 miles per hour
>Relishing the glory of the British Empire at its peak
Only 1900's kids remember this.
guiltypleasures ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just 1900's things.
Triforcebear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
just 1900's things
gravshift ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does being the only 115 year old on reddit feel like?
SketchyLogic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:14:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It feels fine.
order corn
order corn walmart
Bigbysjackingfist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I realize that my childhood expectations were too high, but I remember thinking that Ecto-Coolor was going to have to taste out of this world. Like I'd drink it and I'd somehow have zany adventures like the Ghostbusters, or even The Real Ghostbusters. Then I realized that it was just shitty green colored orange Hi-C and most of my inner child just dried up like an old fart.
KaziArmada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No bro, I'm adult.
Come watch the original one, Super Sentai, and drink boxed wine with me. Good luck reading the subtitles from Japanese once we get trashed...that's the point where we make up our own dialog.
gravshift ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Great times getting drunk and watching comedy Anime.
DrDisastor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think we could be friends. I prefer bourbon but I bring my own if you have the Super Sentai.
KaziArmada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll make you overly alcoholic white russians, and damn right I've got the sentai.
I wonder if we could setup a weekly drunk livestream. That'd be fun.
DrDisastor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's your first name.... this is getting scary?
KaziArmada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you say you're in Chicago, THEN I'd get worried.
....aaaarrreeeee you?
iEatMaPoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born late 1994 and I would barely consider myself a 90's kid
Gutterlungz1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ecto cooler!!! I had completely forgot about that stuff. That drink was fucking awesome.
bradd_pit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm always amazed that they are still making new power rangers episodes. And it's come full circle and the newest season uses the original dinosaur mechs with a little different stylization.
InsultsYouButUpvotes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mind if I grab a shasta and join you guys?
MisazamatVatan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tbf if they were born in the 1900's they're probably really old and you should probably just leave them be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking about Ecto Cooler while shopping in the beverage aisle the other day. That stuff was delicious. The were so many great products around that time that are discontinued for some reason.
Same goes with Rice Krispy treats cereal. I was so addicted to that stuff, then one day it just disappeared from shelves in NY. I was buying it on Amazon until someone on Facebook told me they for found some at the local Walmart. Bought ten boxes a few weeks ago and went through them in less than a week.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The poop turns green!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, the thing I lament the most about stuff from the 90s being gone is show intros. I'm talking EPIC show intros.
You got pumped when you heard your favorite shows come on like Power Rangers, Dragon Ball Z, Pokemon or Sonic. Even some of the lighter hearted ones were so catchy that we remember them now like Dark Wing Duck or Ducktales
Today, now tv show intro grabs you like they did in the late 80s and 90s. The most iconic song I can think of from the 2000s is fucking Spongebob and I always thought it was stupid when it first aired.
b0wz3rx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember waiting for the first episode of power Rangers to air. I wouldn't let anyone else watch the TV so I could catch it, and I was dissapointed :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try Monster Zero Ultra - closest thing I've tasted!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try Monster Zero Ultra - closest thing I've tasted!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's bizarre to me that in two years, basically everyone in high school will have been born after the turn of the millennium.
Ordies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, they must be some hip 115 year olds.
mirshe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, which Power Rangers? If it's Turbo, I'm leaving.
captainAwesomePants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I just figured out like a week ago that all the Power Rangers fight scenes were just ripped directly from a completely different, Japanese show. It's obvious NOW but I just...never thought about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad never let me watch power rangers. One day be came home and I was watching anyway and he went, "IS THAT THAT SHOW WITH ALL THE KICKING AND PUNCHING? Turn it off right now."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
83' here. I'm down.
plaizure93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And drink some Surge Cola
alohapigs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They never even drank Surge.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DrDisastor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, that takes me back.
FirstWorldAnarchist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, anyone born before 2000 will be seen as part of the "good ol'" generation in the near future since they were born on a different millennium.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once got into a trivia contest with another '91 friend of mine over who was the bigger Power Rangers fan. We called it a draw after 15 glorious minutes, surrounded by the stunned and silent faces of the dining hall audience we had drawn.
isen7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We are old, we're in our 20's now.
Mustangtackle75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kids born in 1998 are 17 now. Jut throwing that out there.
andhetomsun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never thought about it until now, but that's what this is all about isn't it? Feeling cool they were alive in the 1900's.
It won't be cool until 2100.
ginja_ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chug some Sunny D watch some Rocko then go set up the hot wheels track bitches.
SnailForceWinds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ecto-Coolers made my poop green. I miss those things... Ecto-Coolers were alright too.
onemoregenius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please. You wanna turn on some Rugrats, Doug, Ren and Stimpy, or Legends of the freaking Hidden Temple and its game on.
Throw in some Double Dare and I'll buy the next round of Surge.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually vape Ecto Cooler flavor as an every day vape. It's good.
Saemika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. I was born in the 1900's... I've never heard it put that way.
ComixBoox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you've got String Things bruh
Sonata_Blue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I'd prefer a Capri Sun and an episode of He-Man while we sit in our running shorts on the shag carpet in front of a console tv with UHF.
comicsandpoppunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A child who was born in the 1900's would be old... In fact, probably dead.
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
born in 1984... i only understand powerrangers because the kids at school had shirts of them...
i spent more of my first 15 years outside or playing sports.
saintsagan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would only buy ecto-cooler in the big can. You had to out two holes in it to get any out.
postingaccount243 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:33:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The powerrangers were cool as shit long past the 90s.
balleklorin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:19:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, just wait a second, I have to pump my air jordans first!
MrsNinjaFingerz ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:53:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yay to us being 30!
FuckinGoof ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:43:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you get sick of nostalgia at 30. I mean, 90s nostalgia was so much cooler in the late 2000s/early 2010s... Remember remembering Batman: The Animated Series? Animaniacs? Goof Troop? Only 90s kids. NOBODY ELSE.
yaypudding ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the new 27!
CDC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not so bad.
MrsNinjaFingerz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not at all. I prefer it to 20.
DominarRygelThe16th ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
28 here, You'll probably enjoy this as much as I do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGp9KLGRX64
MrsNinjaFingerz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was fucking brilliant!! Lol
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:52:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, 1985 here too. We're getting old.
FCalleja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't you noticing how people our age start to make the decisions more and more, though? I mean, don't have to point it out in TV and movies, but even executives are all beginning to be our age. I kinda like it.
Salzberger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1985 master race.
subhuman85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
raises fist
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:49:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1985 too, and I don't associate anything at all 80s with myself. Unless Ninja Turtles count as 80s. Because that show was awesome.
CaptainSelfDestructo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:45:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1985 is where its at. We are legit 90s kids. We hit the 90s at 5 years old. Perfect age to be 90's kids.
FCalleja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Word. I was born in February '85 and just learned I'm 365 months old, so we're also starting to have that going for us for the next 10-11 months or so.
ieatdurt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:28:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MOON SHOES!!!!!
mortiphago ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:29:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 89. We're totally 80s kids dude.
CDC_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:30:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assume you're being sarcastic. See that's what I never understood. I don't remember much about the 80s. The 90s is what I remember most.
mortiphago ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:36:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I was being sarcastic.
CDC_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I figured.
But it's reddit, and sometimes hard to tell.
"Not sure if agreeing with me, or stupid."
My apologies.
silvershark76 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He was mocking the people who were born in '98 or '99 and claim to be "90s kids" because they remember a few Nickelodeon shows or had an N64. Then he says that being born in '89 makes him just as much as an '80s kids as the previous "90s kid".
El_Frijol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, in 1990 you were five. Five is an acceptable age to call yourself a 90s kid. You can remember things that happened when you were five. Plus, you know, 91 and 6, 92 and 7...etc. You were growing up in the 90s as a kid.
Being born in 98, you wouldn't remember a damn thing in those two years.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I found myself thinking about gak yesterday and wondering if that stuff is still around. I mean, it's a timeless type of toy. Just like silly putty but different texture and elasticity. Man, I really wish I had some gak right now.
lolzergrush ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Klingons eat it as a staple food, what sense does that make?
CDC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but get it dirty one time, and it's over.
TypoHero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 82, I wish I could say I was a eighties kid, but alas, I'm stuck in THE AWESOME DECADE!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1985! High five! Freeze frame!
roll credits
gnrc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Samesies. I also remember Pepsi giving away a ton of free shit one summer. And I feel like Taco Bell was cooler in the 90's.
jstamour802 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why dont you come over to my house and we can watch some Hey Dude and Legends of the Hidden temple? Maybe later we'll go play some Mortal Kombat on my SNES in the basement.
CDC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sega only.
FCalleja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just when I was starting to like you.
FrankTheodore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for 85.. Great vintage..
DanceswithWolves54 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:37:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you're about 30... 30 years on this earth and you don't have the sense to go to that Japanese restaurant that one time.
CDC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HEY, FUCK YOU BUDDY!
DanceswithWolves54 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want closure!
CDC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GODDAMNIT I WORK FOR A LIVING AND HES 2 HOURS AWAY!!!!
DanceswithWolves54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One can always find time to form happy family memories.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:16:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you're a 90s kid. You were a kid in the 90s.
SethChrisDominic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:23:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude.
You're 30 now
Has that sunk in?
CDC_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:24:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say, yes.
SethChrisDominic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
95 baby here. I'll get back to you in ten years to let you know how I feel.
FCalleja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also turned 30 this year and clearly remember freaking out about turning 30 in 2005 when I turned 20, with the whole round numbers and shit. I cared way less about turning 30 at 30 than I did at 20. If that helps.
Feygraphica ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. I graduated college in '85 ๐ณ
ImnotBoboramI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I often think man those were the days. Just sipping ecto-cooler and watching The Land Before Time while in my Ghostbusters sleeping bag in the living because it's Saturday night.
CDC_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And listening to Dre.
Don't forget about Dre, man.
FCalleja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement.
Munger88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1993 and barely remember the 90s. I mean I was only 6 years old when the 90s ended. Most of my childhood was in the early 2000s
Thegamer211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What, I watch nickelodeon every day...
theamester85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow 1985er here and I couldn't agree more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same year here. Drives me crazy.
DaveMcElfatrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Do you feel any affiliation with the 80s? I was born in 84 and can remember stuff from the late 80s, and all my possessions like toys, games machines and such were hand-me-downs from older cousins so all my stuff was pretty much 80s. I feel like the early 90s were very much like the late 80s anyhoo.
CDC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A keen appreciation for Bon Jovi's earlier albums.
And Ghostbusters.
Nemphiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does anyone "like" nostalgia? I truly fucking hate it. Sometimes I say "let me go ahead and listen to this old 90's song" or a tv show, and I can't enjoy it because of the nostalgic feeling. Nostalgia turns something you use to love into a sad memory. It's not cool.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'88er here. I like to believe I am a legit '90s kid as well
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me tell you the 1990s sucked. The only good part about it was people weren't annoying cunts on the internet, and there were lots of book shops, and record/music shops.
doneski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just turned 30, too.
Old_Grau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like everyone was excited to be an anything kid after watching all those stupid 80s night events for 10 years.
smpl-jax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah Drake and Josh aren't fucking old school Nickelodeon you stupid children
Mage_of_Shadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's even worse when you were born in the 2000s and still get the references like seriously Nickelodeon did not die out in 1999
bangorthebarbarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You had G.I. Joes that could shoot stuff. The struggle was real for an 80's kid.
kernunnos77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Write to me
Stick Stickly
P.O. Box 963
New York City
New York State
One-Oh One-Oh Eight!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And as someone born in 99, I also remember all those things. Why do "90's are the best generation!" people act as if these things suddenly went away? Did Y2K gobble them up?
CDC_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:53:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying you never saw some of the things I did. But I'm saying if you were born in 1999, you have no idea what staying up late on Saturday night to watch SNICK is like. At least not the original run.
Which doesn't make me better than you. It just means we had different childhoods.
winnipegjets31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1995 does that count?
CDC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess, if you want it to.
Not really.
Infamous_Shinobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're not a 90s kid. I don't know what you are, but you're not a 90s kid. I was born in 86...do you think I consider myself an 80s kid (as much as I LOVE the 80) hell no! I barely remember anything before I was 4. From 1990 to 1999 I was 4 to 13. I had all of my crucial development years in the 90s. I'm tired of kids like you who think they're 90s kids because it's been the cool thing for a while.
CDC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What.... in the fucking hell... are you talking about? Are you on crystal meth amphetamine?
You were born in 86 and I was born in 85. We're both 90's kids.
Infamous_Shinobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, I legit thought it said 1995 lol. Oh well, I'm super tired and I don't bother taking it off. I'm gonna look like a dumb ass...I don't really care though. Sorry about that.
CDC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I figured that, but it was fun being all taken aback and outraged.
sdubstko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
85 was a shit year for music, on the whole. Looked it up to see what music was cool in my birth year.
Not much.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1992 and I don't even consider myself a 90's kid because I can barely even remember how it was in 97-98 and earlier.
richardec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who was born in 1963, with kids born in 1990 and 1992, I consider myself an honorary 90s kid.
idkdskwyii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The weird thing is that being a child of 2 decades earlier..I only now started to get somewhat nostalgic about the 70's. I don't understand people who are in their 20's getting nostalgic about anything yet...
ZeroAndUnder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How was the early 2000's like?
CDC_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was fine. I was in high school. 9/11 happened. Music wasn't as good. But TV was better.
Ulster_Celt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just a random question. If lets say I was born in 1989, would that disqualify me from the 90s kid crowd?
CDC_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the cutoff is 1991.
Ulster_Celt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh wonderful, just scraped by :P
estifu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted you to 1984. I tried.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
85 means you were a legit 90s kid.
lickinchicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted, we're the same age.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DAE Pokemon red goosebumps all that yoyos Oreo o's?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 88 and don't consider myself an 80's or 90's kid. IMO, the decade you come of age is your decade.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is the definition of a 90s kid.
-Born in the 80s? You're a 90s kid. -Born in the 90s? You're a Y2K kid.
And so on and so forth. You can trust me on this.
ihahp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nostalgia was so much better back then.
Calmdownplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
word!
Heratiki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in 78 here. Totally remember everything about the 90's. Does that mean I'm legit?
theyeti19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone born in 85 I would never claim to be an 80s kid, or to know anything about the 80s. I technically lived through half of it, but come on, at 5 years old I wasn't a real human at that point.
cherubjared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born 1991 one here and barely consider myself a "90s" kid
metroidfan220 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In one of the "kids react to" videos on YouTube, one kid says "I'm such a 90s kid, even though I wasn't born in the 90s."
Screw that kid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CDC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1985. I went from 5-15 in the 90s.
That's... quite a bit of growing up, man.
I'm a 90s kid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I am sorry. I saw 1995 and I raged. Too many friends my age say they were 90's kids. I definitely deleted it right after because it was dumb.
Bottled_Void ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I generally associate 90s kids as being those that were teenagers during the 90s. Roughly people born 1977-1986.
I don't know how inaccurate that is.
Monkeycurtain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most things are fun when they first get posted, when it's new and reddit all agrees, but then comes every new redditor and post the same thing and the other new redditors think it's new and original. It didn't use to be as much like that when reddit was smaller.
Phyco_Boy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Remember Bobby's World?
CRAZEDDUCKling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I missed most of the 90s and I remember Nickelodeon and cool cartoons.
Soulrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man I was born in the early 80s and I still associate Nickelodeon being what people born in the 90s watched.
maiomonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
83 checking in. I consider myself a 90's kid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i never see anyone say this unless its ironic
xMASSIVKILLx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I completely get you dude. Born in 1985 as well and yes I get it was cool at the time but c'mon get the fuck over it already.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1985 was the most rad of all the years in the 80s.
CeeDiddy82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 82 and it annoys me to no end when I see my cousins who were born mid to late 90s talking about being a 90s kid. Bitches, I graduated in 2000, I literally went through my teenage years in the 90s, shut up. Half of them didn't even live in a time where the internet and cell phones weren't a thing.
randomzinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Celebrity Deathmatch!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
an '85 kid here too, also class myself as a 90s kid, we were KIDS in the 90s, not babies.
Holovoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are a 90's kid. You were a kid in the 90's.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone born in 1991, yeah.
satanicleaftailgecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do they no longer have nickelodeon or something? I was born in 2000 and remembr that stuff from being 8 years old.
madethisforpornn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 94, I was 6 when the 2000s started I dont remember shit from the 90s.
mywan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more than a decade older than Nickelodeon.
Seanmed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down there annoying Facebook posts
SonicFlash01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born the same year, but acknowledge that kids are just overall better off born later. Better medicine, better tech, more advantages. Reboot was the shit, though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can downplay anything, but 90s nostalgia is fucking rad
Sanjispride ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 90 and I consider myself barely a 90s kid.
[deleted] ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 16:35:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me the other day somebody on my facebook feed mentioned they were getting a Cyndaquil plushie and the hashtag at the end said #90skidforlife.
Both the Johto anime and games came out in the 2000's outside of Japan. There's also the fact he's like 19 and spent a good part of the 90's shitting himself
Meetybeefy ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:53:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's common for these types of people to just blindly associate happy childhood memories with the 90s, even though many of them occurred well into the 2000s.
"I miss 90s shows like Rocket Power, Spongebob and Even Stevens... kids today don't have REAL childhoods"
gmano ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:58:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For reference:
Rocket Power aired August 16th, 1999
SpongeBob's first episode was May 1st, 1999, it didn't air weekly until a few months later.
Even Stevens aired first on June 17th, 2000.
That said, only the kids born in say 88-94 would have been in that ideal age range to be watching the first episodes, so the bulk of the fans would be "90s kids", in that they were born after Jan. 1, 1990 and before the milennium.
HarbingerGunner ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:08:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. Fuck the 90's. 00's had it made
aetheos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:44:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought 90s kid meant you spent the bulk of your impressionable years in the 90s, not born in the 90s?
Retlaw83 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:55:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also spent a good part of the 90s shitting myself, but I'm 32.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:23:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who didn't spend the 90's shitting themselves, though?
TranshumansFTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, so did people born in 1989. Especially if they caught food poisoning.
Remember kids, only you can prevent anal fires. Cook meat at the recommended temperature, and for fucks sake don't do it outdoors or that damned bear will be after me again.
TheShadowQuill ยท 1102 points ยท Posted at 16:01:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who was born in 1998, I despise hearing people my age or YOUNGER constantly say that.
[deleted] ยท 744 points ยท Posted at 16:27:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup my friend was born in '99 and calls himself a '90s kid because he played StarCraft
Meekrobite ยท 1026 points ยท Posted at 16:33:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's really odd. Having been born in '89, not once have I thought "I'm an 80s kid"
ThaddyG ยท 458 points ยท Posted at 16:44:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't even really consider the 90s to be the decade I really grew up in, considering I was barely cognizant for half of it. The late 90s-early 00s were my middle and high school years so I really think of that period as the era of my childhood, I identify with pop culture from 2003 way more than 1993.
ACompanionUnobtrusiv ยท 685 points ยท Posted at 17:42:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born too late for Nirvana/90's Gangster Rap but just in time for Limp Bizkit. We got a raw deal.
callthewambulance ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:26:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We did it all for the nookie
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:09:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
come on.
beholdthewang ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:46:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep rolling boys.
AidenRyan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want a cookie!
Greystoke1337 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:49:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And reached maturity just in time to enjoy the dankest memes.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:23:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
iamaneviltaco ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 23:51:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tool came out a year after nirvana mainstreamed, and was huge in 93. I get what you're saying, but I'm of the nirvana generation and we had tool as well.
You know what else y'all missed? Good metallica.
tendeuchen ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:51:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those records still exist. You can download them and listen to them at any time.
b_digital ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:25:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you silly child. It's not the same as riding your bike to the music store and buying the tape or CD and spending all day in your room listening to it all day while reading the liner notes a thousand times.
tendeuchen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I've probably just shy of a thousand CDs. I know exactly what that's like. In fact, I was still buying CDs up until last year (last one I bought was 311 - Stereolithic; a great album btw) when I moved to Hawaii, and since I'm here and don't know how long I'll be here, I'm holding off buying extra stuff that would be excess weight to carry back with me.
The only music store we had in my town though was Wal-Mart, but they had the Clean versions, so I wasn't going to get those. So getting CDs involved driving 30 minutes to Gastonia to go to Best Buy (sometimes Circuit City if they had a sale).
I also remember having to wait patiently by the radio hoping they'll play that new song off the new album that's not coming out for another month so I could tape it and hoping the dumb DJs wouldn't talk over the beginning of it.
Having any song I want to hear at my fingertips now is so much better.
b_digital ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just being a nostalgic curmudgeon. Don't mind me!
Edit: Gastonia, NC? If so, fist bump for a fellow NC native
tendeuchen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a pretty good song.
Yeah, originally from Lincolnton, NC. You?
b_digital ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
originally from Greensboro
SU7sin1o3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound just as bad, if not worse than the people this thread is talking about.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm half-tempted to go out and buy a copy of Black just to prove you wrong.
Hingl_McCringleberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you don't download them from Napster
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:49:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All we got was sue the fanstallica.
b_digital ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Grunge and 90's hip hop alone make me grateful for being born on '78. On the downside I'm such a goddamn curmudgeon about today's music as a result.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:08:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bro I was OGT, from '92, the first EP. Hold up gotta take a sip of this coke. Anyway, I think Tool are selling out, laying down, suckin' up to the man.
the_chandler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:47:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well now I've got some advise for you little buddy. Before you point your finger you should know that I'm the man. And if I'm the man, then you're the man, and he's the man as well. So you can point that fuckin' finger up your ass.
b_digital ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:27:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the man and you're the man and he's the man as well so you can point that fucking finger up your ass
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:23:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ಠ_ಠ
Do you?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
y0y ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Careful. You get too drunk and you might end up fucked by a hooker with a penis.
tendeuchen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It came out right before I graduated. I saw them live for the first time the day it was released.
tendeuchen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:52:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking 9+ years since the last album is not selling out.
Ksguy14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:33:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude.
tendeuchen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Dude abides.
IhateDonkeys ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:06:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's alright Fam. Just keep ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN
ThaddyG ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:05:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, yeah I never got too into those bands. Briefly, in middle school, because a lot of friends were into nu-metal and stuff, but then in high school I started listening to indie rock which eventually led me to widen my musical horizons to the point where "so what do you like to listen to?" is an unanswerable question.
And I don't listen to a whole lot of grunge/90s alt not because I was too young, but because I honestly don't like a lot of it. Don't get me wrong, I love some of it like Nirvana or Cake or the Violent Femmes, but a lot of other popular 90s rock bands just don't do it for me. The year something came out should never be a barrier to someone listening to it, anyway.
And I'm always down to jam to some Biggie or Wu or Dre.
AggressiveToothbrush ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:38:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bite your tongue. Limp Bizkit's 4 awesome songs were really awesome.
Nookie, Rollin, My Generation and My way, heck yes.
tendeuchen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:56:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot:
Pollution, Counterfeit, Stuck, Nobody Loves Me, Sour, and Faith.
Autocoprophage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and Stalemate, and Stinkfinger
teefour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wha? Bro, do u even Break Stuff?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody down with the Bizkit says "heck." You gotta swear bro, it makes you cool. I bet your mom bought you the censored bizkit albums! Everybody laugh at the nerd!
MK_Ninja ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:29:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check, check, check check... out my melody. :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dn8vzTsnPps
By the way I'm 32 and graduated in 2001. I wouldn't trade in being a kid in the '80s or the best part of the '90s.
foreverodd9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn this video brought back the days of watching VH1 early in the morning before school. 30 year old here.
LexiLucy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:29:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's interesting because I was also born too late for Nirvana ('89) yet, when I was a teen in the early 00's, nirvana was all the rage amongst the kids who were into rock music along with a lot of other 90's rock/grunge and it didn't even seem like older music to us. I actually didn't even know Nirvana was older until someone told me, lol.
b_digital ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:31:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recently heard nirvana on a classic rock station and nearly lost my shit. Then I remember that nevermind is almost 25 years old. I'm 37 so that's right during my teen angst years.
ArcticTerrapin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:53:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least we got American Idiot
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:16:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ftfy
ArcticTerrapin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:25:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And arctic monkeys
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:08:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know, I've never been a fan, but I haven't even given them a fair chance. Any songs you'd recommend starting with?
let's not forget Modest Mouse if we're going more toward alt rock.
ArcticTerrapin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:50:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Essentials would be "I bet you look good on the dancefloor," "fluorescent adolescent," brianstorm, teddy picker, mardy bum, suck it and see, cornerstone, r u mine, and you might've already heard "do I wanna know" on the radio, but that's one of my least favorites personally. Everyone has a different opinion on what songs are best, but if you wanna give them an honest shot I'd suggest listening to the first two albums to see how they became so damn popular. And then after that the next three albums show how they've grown as musicians and as a band
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The entirety of "whatever people say I am, that's what I am not."
ArcticTerrapin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yes but I tried to give actual songs haha. When I got into them it was bc a friend gave me a cd that had the first two albums in it. Only listened to that for weeks
Quizzie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I still love "do I wanna know" though. Never heard them on the radio though, but that's because my area is down to like one rock station and I only get it in some areas.
alphamini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, the entire first record. Every song is great.
tendeuchen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do I wanna know?
goldstarstickergiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember at the time thinking American Idiot was a step down for greenday from their previous stuff.
ArcticTerrapin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was my first album I ever bought myself and exposure to them as well, but I can see how you'd feel that way
mechanical_animal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh god, why
BenMargarine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/lewronggeneration
Noggin-a-Floggin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was way too young for Nirvana when they were around and don't even remember hearing about Kurt Cobain's suicide when it happened.
qquiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I DID IT ALL FOR THE NOOKIE!
IMO Limp Bizkit was before their time. :/
YoHuckleberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like someone took a chainsaw?
treilly19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What kids did you know in the early 2000s that listened to limp bizkit?
lightningp4w ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes we sure did my friend.
Ran4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Harsh :(
kaeroku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as it wasn't Korn, you did alright.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...but...what about the nookie? Isn't that what we did it all for?
1LuckyAssSonOfABitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. I know people joke about "le wrong generation" but I really would have like to experience the 60s-90s. Especially the summer of '68.
Xakuya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got a chainsaw.
stabsthedrama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But just in time to browse dank memes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey man, Limp Bizkit redeemed themselves immensely by writing such a touching and heartfelt song as Behind Blue Eyes.
ACompanionUnobtrusiv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing on their cover of George Micheal's 'Faith' though.
Botbot141592 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too late to explore the world, but too early to explore the universe. Just in time to explore dank memes.
theamazingroberto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well, he is like a chainsaw, afterall
MrFusionHER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yar you did!
Being old rules sometimes.
A_Lament_Of_Clarity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya'll need to watch Midnight in Paris. It really hammers home the idea that every generation thought two generations ago was the crรฉme de la crรฉme of times to be alive. You have Nirvana and 90's rap now. In 20 years people will say people alive today had some band or two and we're so lucky because of it. Live for today, friend, and don't envy the past.
ACompanionUnobtrusiv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In fairness I wasn't romanticising the 90's I was born in 86, I remember the 90's and it wasn't that great, SNOW anyone? The music I ended up with as an adolescent just sucked though. Nu Metal, just awful.
ElPuppet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We got some truly truly terrible music didn't we.
Remember 28 Days - Rip It Up?
Jesus fucking christ.
RonWisely ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But there was also Tool's best years, and Eminem's too.
makattak88 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:51:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Red Hot Chill Peppers
Glasschild89 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:01:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I don't even identify with a full decade in length. 1998-2005 kid here. I guess that doesn't have the same ring though.
bass_n_treble ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:25:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '82 and consider myself an 80s kid. I remember a lot of the late 80s.
ThaddyG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a lot of stuff from the later years of the decade, but I wasn't old enough that much of it affected me, and I definitely wasn't forming my own opinions about culture or politics or anything like that.
bass_n_treble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember TV shows like Hollywood Squares, Tracy Ullman and later the Simpsons Christmas Special, Nickelodeon, MTV, etc. Also the toys, the unbelievably cool toys and Nintendo games.
ThaddyG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I watched all the TV shows and movies and music videos that people talk about when they talk about being a "90's" kid, I guess I'm thinking beyond that. Not just the cartoons we were watching and toys we were playing with, because kids are always gonna watch whatever cartoons are on TV and want the latest toys regardless of what year it is.
Young kids are generally isolated from the 'real world'. Like I knew about OJ Simpson and Kurt Cobain and Monica Lewinsky, I knew what they did and what happened to them, but when I was 9 years old it didn't have any real impact on me, I didn't have any opinions on those subjects beyond what I heard my parents say, I wasn't in any way a part of the zeitgeist. I dunno, maybe I'm missing the point and we're really just talking about Rugrats and Power Rangers and shit.
goldstarstickergiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in the same year as you and tbh, I don't remember a whole lot of the 80s. A bit of MacGuyver, Transformers maybe but it wasn't until 90, 91 that I started paying more attention to things
bass_n_treble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was also a January baby and had an older sister and a bunch of aunts and uncles under the same roof--I was never really talked down to, I was treated like a younger brother rather than a baby. I think that helped my development and my memory.
SausserTausser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:36:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was ten when the 90s were over.
I guess I consider myself a 90s kid, but the most important years of my growing up were definitely during the early-mid 00s.
Dany_Heatley05 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:45:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The 90's kinda rolled into the 00's too, though. I feel like the "90's" ran till about 2003.
OptimusMine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:20:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the 90s stopped immediately in September of 2001.
johker216 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:07:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the 90s stopped immediately on Jan 1, 2000 when the world didn't end.
OptimusMine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, Clinton was still president so it's the 90s my dude.
johker216 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Y2K didn't happen... Not 90s :)
mamamurrz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:50:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1991 and definitely identify with late 90s early 00s more for myself but since I grew up with siblings that were born in 1980-1986, I had a lot of early 90s culture surrounding me in my most impressionable years. I don't buy into the hardcore 90s "life was so much better in those days" nostalgia but I will always love the music and movies of that time. Also the weird period of fashion that is somehow making a comeback today. Big fan.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mamamurrz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tying flannel button ups around your waist and wearing a jacket normally over the whole thing. Doc Marten-style boots. Platform flip flops and sneakers. Those black plastic stretchy chokers. Those I don't like for comfort reasons but the rest I can dig.
ThaddyG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hated those jeans when I was younger but for some reason find them oddly attractive this time around.
toxicgecko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think though a lot of pop culture in the 90's was still popular in the early 2000's so its quite easy for people to still relate.
Pizzaman99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're right. It should be defined by those middle/high school years.
You were a 90's child, but you were a 2000's kid.
ThaddyG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't consider anyone younger than like 10 to be a real person in a lot of ways. Not to sound callous, little kids aren't worthless or anything, just when you're that young you don't really know anything about how the world works.
I like little kids a lot, they're just idiots. Which is to be expected.
DSV686 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember Nunavut, so it's literally all I remember from the 90's is hearing about Nunavut
cbuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I consider my childhood 1995-2005. So half and half. I usually consider my teen years a separate thing, but that's just how my brain breaks up the timeline I guess.
GEARHEADGus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in 95, will always be a 2000s kid. The 2000s kicked ass.
Seraphim_kid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but everyone knows that the 90s didn't end until 2008
daytodave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. We sound the same age, but I always thought of myself as a 90s kid because I remember when Nickelodeon was good.
ThaddyG ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:17:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '89, and yeah I watched all those same shows, but on a deeper level the 90s aren't the period that I feel really shaped my personality. I kinda think the pre-teen and teenage years are when you really become steeped in the culture around you, for most people. In the end, for me, it comes down to 9/11 and the rise of the internet.
CptSaySin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I was born in 83, my only memories of the 80s were in kindergarten.
ThaddyG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's how I feel about the 90s. I mean I have vague memories of some guy named after Orange Juice being in trouble for driving his white car too slow and famous musicians killing each other/themselves and some crazy shit going down in Yugoslavia/Kosovo but I wasn't old enough to really understand any of it on any meaningful level until 5+ years after the fact.
beholdthewang ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:45:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always took 90's kid to mean you were a kid in the 90s being in middle school or a high schooler would make you a teenager.
solzhen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:31:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're not. I'm from 1975 and I'm an 80s kid since that's the decade most memorable to my childhood. You are 90s kid.
Meekrobite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even then, I was too young for the first 3-4 years of the 90s to have any established nostalgia.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:37:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I had a girlfriend who said she was "a child of the 80's" because she was born Dec. 29, 1989. She was alive in the 80's for literally like 3 days.
Meekrobite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:46:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha wow. That is pretty ridiculous. Each time she said that, did you think "yeah for 3 days..."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, pretty much. I once tried explaining that it's about actually experiencing it, but she was just a stickler for the exact date. I think maybe because she was younger than most of the group she did it to feel more on our level or something? I dunno, we were teenagers, lol.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:33:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same - born in the late 70s and I absolutely identify as a child of the 80s.
strange_fauna ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '94, so the early 2000's were the environment I grew up in. That said, reruns and older siblings ensured I got a taste of '90's pop culture, so I still "get" the whole '90's nostalgia that's happening.
LosingMyEdge7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm being honest I never have either. I have, however, told people born in 1990 about how great the 80's were and how "they really missed out"- this is usually met with the exact amount of disdain you'd expect which is the goal. To make my friends miserable.
kernunnos77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, I was born in 1980 but didn't get into cocaine or acid-washed / stone-washed jeans until the 00s at least.
I got into the 90s' skater haircut (long ponytail, undercut to my temples with no guard on the clippers) right about the time it became popular, though.
Then I wore it for another decade just because it was fucking cool.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A bunch of friends my age will talk about how we're 80s kids. I was alive for six months when the 90s started.
alecv26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here! I was born in 85. There's no way I would consider myself an 80s kid, considering I spent most of my time in the 80s wearing diapers, and didn't learn about the 80s until well into the 90s. That kid needs to accept his place as a Millenium and shut the hell up.
iheartoptimusprime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Likewise, however, most of the things I watched as a kid were reruns of 80s TV shows (Transformers G2, GI Joe, TMNT, etc).
PrincessAloria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an 80's kid.....at heart. I love all the 80s cartoons and stuff. I was born a decade late. Screw being a 90s kid! I wanna be an 80s kid!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calvin Harris still has love for you, though.
Saemika ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, you are also barely a '90s kid. I was born in 86, and don't even fucking remember the 90's. Sure I watched TV and played with toys, but it's not like it was some magical time that will never be replicated. Most the important events of the 90s I have only a faint recollection of, or wasn't old enough to understand or care. I usually use the rule of thumb that to be a 90s kid, you had to have been a kid during the 90s, not a newborn, or an infant, or a toddler. Also, to be an age where that generation was formative. I consider my formative years to be in the late 90s and the early 2000's, the years leading up to high school.
Meekrobite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:47:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As mentioned in a different comment that is how I feel as well. Most of my 90s memories are from 95/96 onward.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:03:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah sorry I didn't mean to imply you thought that, just highlighting how this 90s kid thing seemingly encompasses like three generations, when in actuality it seems like people are just internalizing memories they never really had and we're just told about.
Meekrobite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No apologies necessary. I completely agree.
dda85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 85, am I an 80s kid?
chanaleh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. You were too young to partake in the culture until about 89. I was born in 80 and consider myself an 80s kid, but a young one.
dda85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Makes sence.
hungry4pie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 85 and have really vague memories of those t-shirts that change colour. Does that count?
Cheef_queef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call myself the last of the 80s babies
JanetSnakehole24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell I was born in 81 and have a hard time considering myself an 80s kid because I don't remember the first half of it. I'm more like an 85-95s kid.
Meekrobite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's essentially how I consider myself. I remember playing with friends pretty heavily around 95-96. However I did get the worst injury of my life in '93.
IceCreamMountain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 83 and consider myself a 90's kid not an 80's kid.
TheHaak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I was born in '73 and totally call myself an 80's kid.
phaqueue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus... I was born in '86 and don't consider myself an "80's kid"...
I wasn't aware enough to experience any of it... I was a 90's kid... I grew up on things in the 90's... I was 4 years old in 1990... I was still shitting in my own pants for the bulk of the time I spent in the 80's... I don't remember any of the "culture" going on then...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1986 here, consider myself a 90's kid.
My brother was born in 83 and he talks about the 80's. I'm just thinking, you were 7 man. 7.
luckytaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call myself an 80's baby, but I'm 100% a 90's kid.
dillonsrule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having been born in '83, I mostly think of myself as a 90's kid, because I don't remember a lot of the 80's stuff.
AarBearRAWR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in '83 and I still don't think of myself as an 80's kid.
Truckyouinthebutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call myself a 80s baby since I was kinda poor we didn't get 80s toys til the mid 90s. So it was like a time machine. I'm an 80s baby.
ocdscale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in 1984 and I see myself as a 90s kid. I don't remember shit about the 80s.
FrasierandNiles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 82 and still think I am a 90's kid.
slwrthnu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in 85, definitely a 90s kid.
TheAwesomeMachine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '83 and I've never considered myself an 80s kid. I barely remember anything about that time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in '87. I don't know what I am.
alblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
maybe that's because the internet wasn't like it is today so all of these 90s nostalgia memes we see today weren't around in the 90s but with 80s nostalgia memes instead.
Meekrobite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't disagree that the Internet plays a role in this mentality. I didn't hear anything along the lines of "I miss the 80s" from my siblings growing up, though.
alblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me neither. I was born in '88, while my brother's were born in '82 and '80. I don't know if they identify with the 80s more, because they've never mentioned it one way or another. It just wasn't a thing until now.
Zardoz666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in '79, don't consider myself a 70s kid. Though I don't think I've ever heard the phrase "70s kid."
o_oli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad I was born in 89 just so I can distance myself from all these people telling me how they are 90s kids.
MamiyaOtaru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah I've never considered myself a 70s kid despite being born in 78. I can't remember a single thing about being alive in the 70s
also oh god I'm old
Stephenishere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 89 too. I always talk about the 80s like it was my prime time. I do it just to piss off my sister and cousins who were born in the early 80s. :)
Cornan_KotW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, I was born in '80 and I think of myself as a 90's kid more than anything. I was 10 when the 90's started. Just old enough to actually consume media and pop culture.
BW_Bird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born 1985. I don't consider myself an 80s kid
resay5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's 80's babies and 90's kids.
toxictaru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '83 and I still don't consider myself an '80s kid. Definitely a '90s kid, but not '80s.
Noggin-a-Floggin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in 1985; I honestly enjoy 80s music (it's catchy and cheesy at times in a wonderful way) but no way in hell do I identify as an "80s kid" because of that.
matrixreloaded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
92 and I don't even consider my self a 90s kid. I don't remember any of that shit. I was like 8 by the time the 90s was over.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in '76. I am an 80s kid. 90s teen.
Only 90s kids don't get how this works, apparently.
tgamm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because the 90's were better than the 00's
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'83 here. I thought I was an 80s kid until I realized the shit I loved was actually the early 90s.
Rac3318 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heck, born in 90 and I don't consider myself a 90's kid.
Krypt0night ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 89 as well and I'll joke around sometimes about how the 80's were a crazy time, but I've never once been serious about it. I was in the 80's for fucking half a year, I'm not an "80's kid"
idog73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1973 but I am definitely an 80s kid.
clunkclunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, I was born in '81 and don't consider myself an "80s kid" since I was barely aware of myself until the last 3 years of it. I identify with 90s kid & pop culture way more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 93 and barely consider myself a 90's kid. The 90's were almost over by the time I could remember anything.
Mama2lbg2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in 1977. I'm an 80's kid. 90's " come of age " time
I think Kids read these little lists and remember a few things and suddenly identity with it
goldstarstickergiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 82 and I don't really think of myself as an 80s kid. Most of the cool nostalgia stuff I remember comes from the 90s
saintjonah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 80 and don't really feel like an 80s kid.
notinbtshado ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the time I don't even consider myself a "'90s kid" (born in '89) I don't have any real memories till '95 and by then it was half over...
rolandgilead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '89 but I do consider myself an 80's kid. Mainly because I grew up overseas in a place where the 80's continued until about 97
Meekrobite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where was that?
rolandgilead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A small expat community in a tiny town in Indonesia. Looking back the culture was about 5-10 years behind America. All the media we got from America was from the 80's. The gap in media exports decreased significantly as the internet became a thing though.
Mighty_Cthulhu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get called an "80's kid" from time to time, everytime I'm like "Motherfucker I was born in April of '89, I existed for like 8 months of the 80's, it doesn't count"
Kovaelin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '86 and don't really consider myself an 80's kid, when it comes to pop culture.
skraptastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 72 and consider myself a 80's kid.
The_Real_LadyVader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Born in '88, and I'm definitely a 90s kid.
I_eat_lemons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Likewise, I was born in '82 and don't even consider MYself an 80s kid. The pop culture stuff I loved was all 90s with only a little overlap in 88-89.
boyasunder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I consider myself to have been an 80's kid... because I was born in 1976. It's weird to identify with the decade you were born in rather than the one you did your growing up in.
VictoriousPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'86 and nope all 90's kid here
notgayinathreeway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I'm technically an 80's kid but I'm not a product of the 80's because it didn't influence my growth in any way.
wreleven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was born in '79 and I don't even think I'm an 80s kid. My formative years were the 90s. All my favorite music is from 96-99.
Fofolito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '89 and constantly claim to be an 80s kid knowing full well people like my sister who were born in '82 will get all up on my case. If it weren't for the mirthful glint in my eye or the ironic inflection I give the statement people might think I actually meant it
vuhleeitee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I held very tightly to that last few months of the 80's I was alive for, but that's because half the kids in my grade were born in '90, and I really wanted to point out I was older than them.
It is not all that important to me now, as I no longer have classmates.
creepy_doll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure the cut-off for 90's kid is somewhere around '87-88. I'd say which decade age 8-14 lands is about appropriate. Of course a lot of people overlap decades with such a range.
Also, I miss more "wholesome" kids cartoons that were less centered on being inane/stupid, and I think there's a big difference between early and late 90s in that. But we did get some quality stuff like reboot and gargoyles so it kinda makes up for it
Bonolio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in '72, identify as an '80s kid. I wish I didn't.
kaiyotic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
same here. born in 1988 definetely feel like I'm a 90s kid. the time I was alive in the 80s I didnt even know what a fish was or that I was the guy i saw in the mirror.
KYplusEL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1998 and I think this because a lot of people my age believe that all this trouble in the world only came be in the past 15 years. They think that just because something is old or unknown it's somehow better and that obviously the 90's were a better time then now. And then of course they all try not be popular by liking Nirvana and watching old cartoons and wearing 90's clothes. So it's like a combination of thinking that the past has to be better then now, hating the life they have now, and wanting to be different.
comicsandpoppunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '91 and have been told I don't qualify as a 90s kid.
9 year olds are kids, right?
LMM01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:20 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cause no one shoves it down your throat that they are an 80s kid.
Yes, I'm a mad not-90s kid who remembers the same stuff you do. Even if it was re runs. sobs
avg-bro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:18 on August 25, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 91 and I don't consider myself a 90's kid. I was just getting cognitive around the turn of the millennium.
sentondan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, I was born in '81 and don't consider myself an 80s kid.
occam7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I barely remember anything before I was 9...but I was all about the early 90s.
hungry4pie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you would have been old enough to remember seeing the Berlin wall come down on tv, but had absolutely no idea of just how historic an event it was?
sentondan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I remember hearing about when I was kid but had no idea what the big deal was.
crrrack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '71 and think of myself as more of an 80's kid than a 70's kid. I really didn't connect with pop culture before the 80's.
Meekrobite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is definitely a factor too. Which culture best fits you has an influence on the thoughts of the people that misalign themselves.
asharwood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in 82 and don't consider myself an 80's kid. I did nothing but poop and pee all over and play outside late 80s.
TheTamrielTerror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having been born in '94, I don't think I belong with 90s kids or millenials.
chappersyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 84 and I still wouldn't say I was an 80s kid. I only have a handful of memories from the 80s that aren't just mundane shit like going to school or whatever that aren't really decade specific - fall of the Berlin Wall being the only one I can think of from the top of my head.
-OptimusPrimate- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 94 and don't consider myself a 90's kid
aMutantChicken ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:48:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
he was a 90's baby, not a kid
strangebread ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:42:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He was born in 99. He's STILL a kid
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's likely driving on the same roads you are...
Natetrombone1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being a 90's kid entails being a kid in the 90's not being an infant, most people have no actual memories from this age.
Montigue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bitch I played the original Warcraft
Random832 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, 90s kids remember Warcraft. As a single player game. For DOS.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This kid around that age tried to explain to me he's a "90s baby" and uses playing his dad's Nintendo 64 to justify it.
eldeeder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that! I was playing starcraft while he was still an itch in daddy's pants...
mr__moose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pfftt he was still swimming in his daddy's nutsack when the game came out!
ComradeRoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '99. I can confirm your friend does not understand what '90s kid means.
yzlautum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born 3 days before New Years in 89 and I used to mess with my ex by saying I was an 80's kid. She would get so annoyed. Fun for me though!
civilian11214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Motherfucking blacksheepwall, motherfucker.
UrbanToiletShrimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But Starcraft came out 2 years before he was born.
Just_Look_Around_You ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It also matters what your influences are. I'm 91 but I had an 87 and 82 sibling so I was really subject to a lot of nirvana and 90s stuff. And then there are those my age who have no clue what happened in the world until Pokemon times because they were the first child, or very sheltered or for whatever other reason. Some people also just have absolutely horrendous knowledge of pop culture and or history.
nickmarx12345678 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Christ -- kids who were born in '99 are old enough to internet
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 77 year old grandpa played Starcraft for a while, is he a nineties kid?
exoscoriae ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:02:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 79 and consider myself a "90's kid" simply because I spent all of the 80's playing in my backyard. About the only thing I had in the 80's that was "cool" was an NES, and I didn't even get that until like... 86 or 87?
randomthug ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:56:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A real nineties kid, born in 82, remembers installing doom with multiple floppies
Darktidemage ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he calls himself a 90s kid because he was born in the 90s.
Ididitall4thegnocchi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So he's a 90s baby. I was born in 83, was 7-17 during the 90s. I find it strange that people 10-15 years younger than me call themselves 90s kids.
StillWeCarryOn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:42:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a '96 baby and i would say its a stretch that Im even a 90s kid. I remember some stuff but it was mostly spillover from the 90s into the 2000s
outontheborder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here - I was born in '96 and I am most definitely a 2000s kid. The only way I can remotely call myself a 90s kid is because a lot of the TV/movies I watched, toys I played with, etc were made in the 90s.
StillWeCarryOn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup same. I think so many people say theyre 90s kids for that reason exactly
newloaf ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:02:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to the Contempt Train! May you have a long and enjoyable run.
Garizondyly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:04:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1998? Wow you're so young I can't believe you use reddit at that a...
...I need to call my mom.
shlack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I buy alcohol they always look twice at my ID. It says I was born in 1997 and they refuse to believe I'm 18
FetusChrist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:10:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone born in 85 it still surprises me to see someone born so close to the millennium with the ability to type.
teazelbranchlet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:18:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1990 and I barely consider myself a 90's kid. I barely remember a lot of the stuff I am supposed to be nostalgic about.
dam072000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Fuck! You guys can vote next year.
Sector_Corrupt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you can be born in the 90s and be mostly a 90s kid, but you best be born in the first 2 years or so of the decade. Most of my childhood memories as someone born in 1990 are centred around 1995 - 2002 or so, so 90s resonates reasonably well but even then I missed the first half of it.
ScenesfromaCat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to talk some shit about what are you youngins doing on Reddit and then I realized you're like 16. Fuck.
yeshdufuga ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as a man born in 1999 I see 2001 kids saying this shit
TheShadowQuill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm... honestly not surprised.
aglassofsherry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was also born in 1998, and I can't fucking stand hearing that 90's kids shit. Like, what, you think you're so cool 'cause you were born in 1999? Facebook is full of this sort of crap.
andhetomsun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1980, graduated high school in 1998. My class had people born in both '79 & '80.
People used to brag then about "being from the '70s", as if they were around for Vietnam and Watergate. It was retarded then just as its retarded now.
edit: word
Iamthebatman99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So what do I have to recognize to truly qualify as a 90s kid?!
TheShadowQuill ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:35:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To have ACTUALLY been a kid in the '90s, I'd believe.
knurttbuttlet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:43:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Must've been born before 1995 or lower.
ShadowJuggalo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Be between the ages of 5 and 10 in the year 1995.
Mollywobbles225 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was 8 years old in 1995. I fall almost perfectly in the middle here.
That being said, I remember the late nineties a lot more clearly than the early nineties - mostly what I remember from a lot of those "Only nineties kids will get this" posts are the TV shows, and even most of those were carryovers from the late eighties.
...The nineties were a weird time.
kuppajava ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I was born in the (very) early 70s and get crap all the time for saying I was a child of the 70's, because to the purists you had to be a child in 1970, not a baby either but at least a toddler, because otherwise you did not experience the entire 70s. It can go the other way and be annoying too.
iknewwhoiwas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 95 and I consider myself somewhat of a 90s kid since I lived in a developing country until I was six and things always showed up to the party ten years late
awsears25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell I was born in 94 andI barely consider myself a 90s kid. I could probably run through my memories of that decade in about 10 minutes.
KrypXern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man I grew up with nothing but an NES for some time and I was born in 1996, and I don't call myself a '90's kid'. Hearing people who grew up with XBOX and Gamecube and PS2 claiming that they're 90s kids sounds so ridiculous.
TheShadowQuill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did in fact grow up with a GameCube, a GameBoy, and a PS2, but I'm DEFINITELY not gonna call myself one of those. I was born in late '98, and most people who call themselves '90s kids were born in December of '99!
Logan42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who was also born in 1998, I usually say that ironically/sarcastically.
Minimalphilia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This feels like a lewronggeneration post although you are right of course.
TheShadowQuill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's an amazing sub, I'm just talking about a small amount of people who, admittedly in my generation, do this.
CaptainSqueak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also being 1998, I don't say I'm a 90s kid but I do say that I lived through the new millennium, despite not remembering it at all
trenlr911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a fellow 1998 child I agree with this.
MrMeltJr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 91 and don't consider myself a 90s kid. Other than Pokemon, almost all of my nostalgia is from the early-mid 00s.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'00s kids FTW
pooptits1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in '91. Wouldnt even label myself a 90's kid. Was more aware of the 2000's. Granted i played pogs and watched the good cartoons
IamBatman777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to call us 90's babies.
tiltowaitt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People do this? I remember being 10 in 1998 and briefly thinking I was an '80s kid ... until I realized I wasn't. About five seconds later.
Kinbareid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
god I feel so old , I remember when I was 16 like it was yesterday now im 24 :'(
penis_length_nipples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IMO the cutoff is if you can remember EXACTLY what you were doing on 9/11
Jambi95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone born in '95 I hate when kids my age or younger say this shit.
lschmidt814 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this too. I was born in 1990 and I was barely a 90s kid. Sure I watch Power Rangers and Rugrats, but I was in 3rd grade at the turn of the millenium. I remember a lot more about the 2000s.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:22:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, kids your age use the internet now?
TheShadowQuill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
16 year olds...?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, you guys have your own opinions on shit now?
TheShadowQuill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm rather certain this has been a thing for ages.
I_ForgotMyOldAccount ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:16:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in '99, and I call myself mostly a 90s kid. Let me explain why.
I have an older brother. We had a ton of shows from the 90s on VHS and I was always forced to watch them rather than my shows. I played video games on the SNES and the N64. I was on the PS1 and PS2 often. All of these things that I hear came out in the 90s I very clearly remember. So while I'm not the "Early 90s, born and raised" I most definitely can relate to those better than I could 2005 material.
Idk. That's just my two cents.
AB11079 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to get my calculator out to check your age.
Holy shit when did you kids grow up
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:53:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AB11079 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when 1998 was just kids.
I feel old.
BrooklynNets ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:17:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can be a "nineties kid" born in the late nineties if your family was good and poor, and/or if you grew up far from a western cultural epicentre. Shit, I'm a seventies kid because I was born in '86 in northwestern Greece, where we were still watching betamax tapes on our wood-panelled black-and-white TV.
luvmyshiner ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:43:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a child of the 60's, fuck all y'all!
I_am_spoons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You were born in 69?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:42 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's that classic 60's "peace and love."
TheMagnuson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:36:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in 1979, the 80's were way the fuck cooler than the 90's. I think anyone who lived through the 80's is likely to agree with this.
Sure from a technology point things weren't as good, but from a social standpoint, from a cultural standpoint, 80's America seemed like the time to be alive in America.
andhetomsun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:37:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in 1980 here. Yeah I guess it was cool to see the classroom maps go from saying USSR, to Russia over the course of a summer.
Edit: Wait, that was '91. nm
spamjam09 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:51:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Word. If you were born in the decade it's hard for you to be a "Kid of that decade." I was born in 83 but still consider myself much more of a 90's kid. I had no idea what culture was when I was 1-7 years old.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:21:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have to understand the nuances of the definition of "culture" to experience it. I was born in '92 but I still remember everything up to the year 2000. The shows, the music, the toys, even the commercials. I refuse to call myself a "90's kid" because who the fuck cares, but I would absolutely consider myself part of that decade. I may not have understood the cultural impacts of what I was seeing, but I still experienced those things.
I went through adolescence in the 2000's, not really childhood except for the tail end. So for me, the 2000's are defined by terrible hairstyles, awful makeup, my "emo" stage, and puberty. The 90's are what I most strongly associate with my actual childhood.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:13:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born in 94 I consider myself a 90s baby instead. I caught the tail end (98-99) and have some memories from those years, but not enough to say I "experienced" anything substantial.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. I have vague memories of being 4 and 5, but once I was 6 it was 2000 so then of course I associate most w/ that decade & this current one.
mechanical_animal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:35:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah every time this thread is made people mix up adolescence and childhood. You start retaining memories around age 4 so being born in 1990 would give you about 6 years of 90s memories, plus the several year residual culture that you would share with your childhood peers. '90s kid' in this sense means you have deep memories implanted from a certain time period that recall some of your earliest experiences.
Having your adolescence and early adulthood in the 90s might mean you were able to experience more aspects of the culture but if we are speaking about nostalgia then half or most people born in the 80s would have lost their innocence and wonder by the time the 90s rolled around.
With that said I would consider 1987-1995 to be the cutoff for being a 90s kid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
mechanical_animal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. That's basically what childhood is about, being a witness to situations around you because you're too young to understand and do most things.
90s kid is different from a 90s teen who'd also be different from a 90s adult. I'm not saying each of those groups doesn't belong to a subculture of the 90s, it's just if we're talking about being a 90s kid then we're looking at people who were younger than 15 by year 2000.
rabidsonic220 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:50:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh i think i waz born in the wrong generation :/
kuppajava ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
deleted
I_know_left ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/lewronggeneration
ireter294 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:46:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh there's a sub full of people who hate that
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:55:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is the official rule on calling yourself XX year kid? I was born in 84, am I a 90s kid or an 80s one?
el_muerte17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
90s. You were too young to remember or participate in 80s culture.
Masterwnic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay but a lot of 90s things carried on well into the 2000s
1pnoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it means they were born in the 90s. Reddit seems to have missed that part of it and get worked up that people are trying to steal the glory of their childhood. So there is no "despite" about it really.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[posts picture of rock]
"Like if you know what this is"
roi-sans-couronne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is, most of the "90s kids" claims are also true about the early 2000s. So even if you're born later in the 90s, you still remember the same shows, toys, etc...
[deleted] ยท 904 points ยท Posted at 15:50:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
th3d3k0y ยท 215 points ยท Posted at 01:32:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I still read it as "pound". Which makes Twitter hilarious when people put up a hashtag of something that works really well with pound
/#DatAss
cryptoz ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:16:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean
#DatAss
unless, of course, you meant to type a giant, bolded DatAss, which, maybe you did. Reddit uses a modified markdown for syntax, you can escape your "hashtag" with a slash (also known as a slashtag ;)). Like so:
SovietMan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:41:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Escape with DatAss! ;)
an_admirable_admiral ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
he cant did you see how big it was?
th3d3k0y ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fixed, I'm still learning to Reddit
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:05:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
\
diggleblop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
me
Makoaddict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
grandma
takes_joke_literally ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmmm! #cake
TheScienceNigga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'ยฃ' is pound. 'lb' is also pound. '#' is hash, which is why twitter called it a hashtag because it is a way of tagging things with a hash
wrincewind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
in england it's called the hash symbol, so hash-tagging makes a lot more sense. it's not 'the hashtag' symbol, it's 'the hash'. the TAG, signified by A HASH, is a hashtag. goddammit.
wrong_assumption ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 23:11:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I teach programming and students pronounce '#' as hashtag.
theurbanwaffle ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:17:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well "octothorpe" is a bit of a mouthful.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:27:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pappypapaya ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:18:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
#hilaryclinton
bigmansam45 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:22:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or just hash, like where hashtag comes from. You are tagging with a hash.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 23:15:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
wrong_assumption ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:22:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully.
bigmansam45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still at least your example involves people using the word hashtag correctly... despite how irritating it.
russki516 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard 'account hashtag' once regarding banking. Almost gave up right there.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:28:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... thus providing a new appreciation of the old "Shibboleth" term.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:34:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only understand this reference because of the West Wing.
DragoonDM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell your students that we hate them, please.
bassgoonist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to learn C hashtag in college
juhsayngul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kill me.
plun9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hashtag include less than STD I oh dot H greater than
Big_D_Squirrels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call it octothorpe because it's not incorrect but no one around here knows that's what it's actually called.
dmanww ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it's pound or hash. Hashtag is the specific use of it with text to tag something.
mebob85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer octothorpe myself /s
swanny246 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:24:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get what's wrong with that... the word has come to have a legitimate meaning, whether you like it or not, and you obviously know what it means, so what's the problem?
bigmansam45 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:25:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's completely incorrect usage. Common usage does not equal good usage.
# that symbol there is called a hash (amongst other names). when you use it to tag something; it, and the word it joins, becomes a hashtag.
Edit - forgot the escape
swanny246 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:58:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So what about when people refer to <div></div> as "div tags"? Why couldn't the hash sign's terminology evolve to also be referred to as "hash tags" as well? I know it's not "officially" referred to as a hashtag when it comes to programming, but no reason that can't change down the line.
bigmansam45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't those literally div tags though? Like, do they even have another name?
It could change, it would still be incorrect usage though.
Troggie42 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same reason for the gif/gif debate. People are pedantic shitheads.
fadingsignal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burn the dictionary!
Troggie42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YEAH
hashtagbae ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:57:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a bar near where I used to live called '#Hashtag'. It's oddly popular with your 30-40 yearold single mothers.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:44:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where's that, sounds like a good spot
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:02:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And now let's look the brave hunter getting near the cougars.
hashtagbae ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:45:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bendigo, Australia
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:16:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh... That's too far.
GoodGuyLiar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not with that attitude
mebob85 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:13:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you pronounce that? "Hashtag hashtag"?
Ultimate_Chimera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They just want to be cool!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:58:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey guys, hashtag shut the fuck up.
SA_Swiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hashtag lololololololololololololololololol
frogsocks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:19:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only do this around people who constantly complain about people who say hashtag. Especially if they do it without prompting.
superking87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:28:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
raptorvag
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'#'Douchbags.
h00zn8r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hashbags, if you will
mycannonsing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hashtag Tight.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:42:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work with someone who would do this constantly. I'm sure if you asked him he'd say he was doing it ironically, whatever that means.
Richex112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S JUST A PRANK BRO!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BRO, YOU CAN STOP BLEEDING, IT WAS JUST A PRANK!
my_name_is_zak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Psh hashtag laaaaaaame
Senor_Platano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I need to stop even though I technically did already, it was okay when John Oliver said it.
RobinsEggTea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Octothorpe yolo
ring110 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
octothorpe maybe?
MassiveClusterFuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the least they could use the proper term for it (octothorp). Fucking peasants.
moonias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only acceptable before the word 'rekt' or also 'tyrannosaurus rekt'
Marc815 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
#poundsign
wankerpedia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was a pound sign.
NoProblemsHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This bugs me sooooooo much. Casual conversations are not Twitter posts!
Kitty-Kat-Katarina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a substitute teacher for music theory class one time. We were reviewing for our scales test, and he starts the review like "which scale has 5 hashtags?"
neongreenpurple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a local law firm that advertises "Dial Hashtag Law on your phone to speak to a lawyer." It pisses me off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's so 2014
inc0nceivable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I made written edits to a document for a younger coworker. The editing mark for adding a space is the pound symbol. Younger coworker was perplexed as to why I wrote hashtags all over the document.
InMyRestlessDreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hashtag BojackThoughts
i_ANAL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"hashtag just sayin"
Uckcan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Much prefer pound..
BDanno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually just respond with "Hashbrown, no filter"
scampbe999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started doing this ironically, but I kept doing it, and now I say it unironically.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pound sign
Molecular_Machine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, I've never heard anyone say it out loud unless they were trying to make fun of the people who supposedly do.
Then again, I don't have many friends.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But... But... But you just...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I typed it. I'm talking about people who say it in front of other people.
flesheatinmonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's my trigger
p3ngwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
one of our friends just got a dog, named it Hashtag o.O
jyb5394 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pound sign
GV18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I asked my sister about this, I asked why would you not just say hash, and she asked me what that was, "is it like a hashtag?"
TeamJim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
#HashbrownSelfie
CheifJokeExplainer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:51 on August 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Octothorpe
HeavenPiercing ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:04:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What else would you call it? Pound sign?
"Have you seen that new trending pound sign on Twitter?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As in people using hashtags while talking, like "I got no sleep last night, hashtag needcoffee"
HeavenPiercing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh ok. You made it sound like you hated the actual word.
TheDeskIsLava ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 16:41:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll change your mind someday"
Razzal ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:17:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
no, we are not giving you grand kids so fuck off
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 20:17:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Jokes on you, I've never learned anything in my entire life! I was born with all of my current opinions."
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:39:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. May I use this?
Recolen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:06:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need their permission
Thebadkate ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:31:18 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1,000x yes! And also, "it's different when they're your own."
Satans__Secretary ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:44:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drives me up the fucking wall.
"Yes I will completely change my mind on something that: makes me feel physically sick to my stomach, fills me with anxiety, makes me wish I wasn't born female, and if focused on long enough will drive me to have suicidal thoughts. I will TOTALLY change my mind! /s you heartless bitch. "
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:17:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh, we change our mind on a lot of things over the years. I used to hate onions. And i used to think girls were gross. My parents were right on both calls.
boogetyboo ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:17:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This phrase typically comes up when adult women express disinterest in/that they won't be having children. In that context the smug remark is irritating as fuck - women don't come to that decision lightly (and sometimes it's made for them), so making comments like that makes it seem like it's about onions or something equally trivial.
Satans__Secretary ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:35:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have crippling trauma that lead to my decision on that.
Somebody saying "you'll change your mind" to me... might as well be talking about being raped.
detecting_nuttiness ยท 185 points ยท Posted at 17:01:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any form of a fake apology.
No, that's not an apology. "I'm sorry that I wronged you," is an apology.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:56:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry to those who were offended" fuck you fake apologist
barto5 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:43:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry if you were offended...
I was offended, and now it's my fault. Dick!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:14:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I guess they wouldn't have to apologize to the people that weren't offended...
alitairi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:08:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even remember the last time I heard a sincere sorry.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:40:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Helios-Apollo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:58:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now that I think about it, it was the other day at a carnival. The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon insult I vowed revenge. I trapped him alive behind a brick wall.
Sorry not sorry.
SoloWanderer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:05:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Great reference!
alitairi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:36:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All the fucking time lmfao.
ItsMeTK ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:59:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually in the truest sense of the word an apology is explaining yourself and defending your actions. Being sorry is showing remorse. I hate that we've conflated the two.
detecting_nuttiness ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:15:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard it described this way. My understanding is that an apology is an admission of wrongdoing, and actually that it also includes a an offer to remedy the situation. Nothing about explanation or defending your actions.
ItsMeTK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:29:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word apology is from a Greek word that literally means "to give a defense of". Consider back to days gone by when you'd do something wrong and a parent would say, "Explain yourself!" Somewhere along the way, it got distorted to mean "say you're sorry". But the older (correct) use of the word still exists in uses like people who defend their faith being called "apologists".
conquer69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:24:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well sometimes you don't believe your actions were wrong so you are forced to do a fake apology.
Lurk_on_Dirt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read that in monotone with slightly lengthy spacing in between each word.
Freevoulous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if the other person does NOT deserve an apology, but still expects/demands it? Because that is when the phrase is most often used.
fruitdrank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:44 on August 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called a backhanded apology
Goonz ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 22:24:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Video games are a waste of time" proceeds to watch endless reality TV.
AegonTheDragon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:50:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It truly is amazing how much useless shit people do yet "hurr durr vydia games are a waste".
Ryanmjesus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:39:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always tell them, "Exactly, it's a luxury not a necessity. I am choosing to use my time this way." Granted I might say it to them like they're a child..
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:56:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ryanmjesus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:16:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well damn.
nlaprise ยท 4946 points ยท Posted at 15:23:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That generation is.... the kids these days..... When I was young we....
No it's not okay to judge an entire generation based on your limited experience.
[deleted] ยท 2763 points ยท Posted at 15:53:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1489 points ยท Posted at 16:31:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're just lazy. That's right! When I was your age, all I had to do was walk into the store and talk to the manager. After all, I did go to college, so you should have it even easier with all the technology these days. It's time to pull yourself up by the boot straps!"
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 1124 points ยท Posted at 17:55:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
To quote my mother when I was underestimating the difficulty of college during a discussion.
Me: "I know it's gonna be difficult, it's college, but we have new technology to make the classes easier"
Mom: "Yeah so they compensate by making it a fuckton harder"
[deleted] ยท 365 points ยท Posted at 18:24:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom. She gets it.
Morgnanana ยท 150 points ยท Posted at 20:46:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now now, gentleman doesn't kiss and tell.
MangaMaven ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 21:21:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The one "your mom" joke to make me actually laugh.
HowBoutDemMons ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:58:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bro-mom
gnorty ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:07:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's one way to see it - another way is that your education scores set you apart from your peers. If everyone has college certificates, then it's no advantage. You need to do better than the other guys looking for the same jobs, not better than your mom.
hitlerosexual ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:53:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it depends on where you see the value in a degree. You are correct that if everyone had a degree, it would economically be worthless, but imagine if everyone has a PhD level education (and was intelligent enough to have actually earned it). If everyone was that educated, we could make such faster progress as a species. Education as a species is cumulative, even if the economic benefits tend to be individual and competitive.
gnorty ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:58:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's also true, to an extent, but in your world, where everyone has a degree, would everyone be productive?Would the efforts be duplicated?
I appreciate what you say, and without doubt agree that a degree is not just about earning more money, but in the context of this thread, intangible benefits are not counted.
We need (and will pay for) a certain number of graduates. In previous generations, that number was not met, so the pay was high. Now it is more than met, so the pay is low. It sucks for those who put in the work and will likley never reap the rewards. It also sucks for the parents who gave the bad advice.
hitlerosexual ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. Honestly that's why even though I'm currently going for a degree I always try to take classes that are outside my degree focus, just so I'll be well rounded. You never know when some knowledge will come in handy.
andyzaltzman1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have my Ph. D, there aren't enough jobs for the Ph. D's we are producing now and in most cases a Ph. D is basically research training. Which unless you have research jobs to fill isn't much more valuable than a masters.
hitlerosexual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok masters then. The point is that while I can see how a degree is devalued if everyone has one, society as a whole still benefits from being more educated.
Cakebeforedeath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The cynic in me says that even if we were all PhD level intelligent we'd still disagree and argue all the time, we'd just do so much more cogently and eloquently
hitlerosexual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:53 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well of course, but imo the world would still be better off then. We would handle our disagreements through rigorous debate instead of war.
Sajun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:57:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is called "The Big Lie".
http://fortune.com/2015/07/06/why-do-people-quit-their-jobs-at-dream-companies-like-facebook-or-google/
Feel free to read.
gnorty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:57:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An interesting read. I was already aware of this "big lie", and I personally believe that there is another lie, just as important. That lie is sexual equality. In previous genations (go back 3, maybe 4 generations) and very much the norm was the husband would go to work, the wife would stay home, raise the children, and keep the house. That seemed to work out OK on the whole. Somehow we now have the idea that women are worth less if they stick to this role.
As a result, women now have their own careers to a much greater degree. Those who do not often feel undervalued, not just by their husbands, but also by their peers, and society at large.
So we now have both parents working full time. Meanwhile, our levels of household debt is increasing. How can we possibly be bringing in double the income, and struggling to make ends meet? Partly because there are a lot more expensive luxuries to buy, but surely there is more than that? We are working twice as hard just to stay afloat. Where would our ancestors have sat on the economic scale if our great grandfather was able to double his income? Would they be better off than we are today? I'm pretty certain that they would!
Could it be that we judge our own worth, as people, on the luxuries we own more than any other factor? This could well be the biggest lie of all - the glue that allows the other 2 to be so pervasive.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea fuck that-technology makes everything college-related a clusterfuck nowadays. In my father's age all they had to do was fill out a form and then turn it in.
scampbe999 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not gonna lie, the internet made college way easier. Any amount of research done for any paper would have taken four times longer in a library, pounded out with a typewriter.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about that. I went to college from 18-22 (early 90s--dropped out as a senior) and then I went back at 39. It's a lot easier in certain respects. Research, writing papers, submitting papers, getting textbooks, registering for classes--all loads easier than it was back in the day. When I was a freshman, I had to stand in line for 3 hours to register for classes, and hope that there was still space in the classes I wanted by the time I got to the front of the line. Doing research for a paper was going to the library, digging around in the card catalog for the few books that applied to my topic, and hoping they weren't already checked out. If they were, well...good luck. Go find another library. Gotta write a paper? Go to the computer lab with your floppy disk and spend a few hours--or, hand-write it. Some of my classmates were the children of C-suite executives and the like, and could afford their own computer (which ran about $4K each).
Now I can do all that shit from my couch. I bought a little laptop just for my schoolwork, and it cost $400. (I already had a gaming laptop and an old desktop, plus a tablet and a smartphone, but what the heck.) I can search EVERY white paper and journal article published anywhere on the globe. If I need a book, I can order it from Amazon, and half the time they'll even have an electronic version that I can download immediately. I keep all my class materials in Dropbox and submit all my papers electronically. I have to write my papers in APA format, and MS Word now has functions that do that automatically with the click of a few buttons. I used to have to do that shit by hand!
The schoolwork is still rigorous, sure. It's supposed to be. But the project management aspect of classes is orders of magnitude easier.
Taddare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who did similar, you can't discount how much you have changed and not noticed. Your own time managements skills are most likely far above what they were then.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, they absolutely are. It's amazing how much easier it is to go from the workplace back into the classroom (as opposed to the reverse). But just the document handling alone is so, so much easier, which is a huge part of it.
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the info! I'm only 17 so I have no college experience, but this insight can mentally prepare me.
I wish I was eloquent enough to come up with a fancier response other than thanks, but anyway, thanks!
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know. Technology has made things significantly easier, but she talks a lot about how the stuff we learned in middle school wasn't taught to her till she was a sophomore/junior in high school. She's basically saying we learn more advanced stuff sooner nowadays.
ANEPICLIE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect example of this- I was talking to a prof of mine.
Last year for our surveying course half the data for our final report was from transits, half total stations.
This year, it's all total stations because the school bought more. Result? More work because more data.
For the uninitiated, a transit is basically a small telescope with two protractors on it to measure angles and distances, and a total station is the same, except instead of a little telescope it's more like a digital camera with a viewfinder that shoots lasers to measure stuff, and does error calculations, angle measurements and distances automatically.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:33:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because its past 1 am but I had to read that like 4 times to grasp what you were saying.
So if stations are so much easier wouldnt every professional use stations? If so, why are you working with transits?
ANEPICLIE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a university class, and the first year I mentioned used transits 1) to learn concepts and 2) because there were only so many total stations.
And yes, nowadays many professionals use total stations. However to basic concepts are the same.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My small town high school was so easy I skipped half of it and still graduated. When I went out of state to a big-city college, I was psyched because of all the technology they allowed us to use, whereas my HS was archaic by comparison. Figured this would be a walk in the park.
Holy fucking shit was I wrong. When they said you need to put in the same number of study hours as you are in class, they were underestimating, big-time. I have never worked so hard to keep up. I learned more in 4 years than the 17 years prior.
Computers and email and the internet and digital tape recorders are nice and all but you still have to use the oldest tool invented by man: your brain.
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Welp, I have low work ethic so, college will be a difficult time for me (still a junior in high school)
JohnGilbie ยท 325 points ยท Posted at 17:32:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This physically hurts to read.
d_dolson ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:23:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
luckiest_wasp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am actually hearing it in my Grandpa's voice
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:14:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And i didn't have any college debt! I worked my way through school bussing tables!"
UmerHasIt ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:42:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now if you bus tables, you may be able to buy a textbook, heck, possibly two!
Shogger ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 17:54:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this phrase because when people usually say it, they don't know that such an action is actually physically impossible. It's like trying to flap your arms to fly. That phrase has lost its meaning.
mamamurrz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:08:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's so weird, I totally see that literally pulling your feet off the grown by your bootstraps would be impossible, but I always imagined people using their bootstraps to pull themselves into a standing position from sitting on the ground when they used this term. That also seems difficult but not impossible. It's basically like using your own feet and shoes as leverage. If it is supposed to mean the way you said it, that really is a stupid saying.
Shogger ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:21:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is where I take my interpretation of the phrase from.
I get that it is used to emphasize one's own tenacity and perseverance to get through a rough start at something and be successful, but yeah I still think it's dumb.
wackawacka2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, who says that?
theyeti19 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:06:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Beat the pavement! You gotta just go in and tell them you'll work!"
Yea no. I tried that. Best case scenario they give you an application. But inn 90% of my experience it's, "You need to apply online." or they say they don't do hiring, corporate hr or whomever handles it.
kryonik ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:23:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has literally never had to look for a job. He's had the same job for almost 50 years. He thinks I can just walk into a store or office building and get a job. I mean, I have a job, I'm looking for a better one, but it's just infuriating to listen to.
Bio_Hazardous ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:33:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I just saw red after reading this it made me so angry.
Checker88 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:12:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 19, and I've applied to (easily) over 50 jobs in the past 6 months, and I haven't even gotten invited to speak to a manager/employer.
Absolutely depressing, really. I've always been a good student, never gotten in trouble, and the best I can do about getting a job is working as a water meter reader until I die of some Florida-Wildlife-related accident.
Helios-Apollo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Checker88 lived as he died, with a water meter lodged in his eyeball by a rabid racoon. He will be missed."
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:51:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" literally means "to exhibit the impossibility of being the sole source of your own success."
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:50:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I worked part-time at the shoe factory to pay my way through school! I don't see why you can't do the same!"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:05:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because inflation, cost of living, rising education costs
shesallover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:38 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I worked part time at the shoe factory (They don't do part time) I'd be working in a sweat shop for 5$ a week.
Totally puts a dent in the ole' tuition!
CptnAlex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:22:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My older colleagues were suggesting that kids just getting out of college unreasonably expected high paying jobs; that they worked up from the bottom rung themselves.
What they failed to realize is that college is exponentially more expensive than it was 30 years ago, and we (Millennials) were pushed towards college precisely to "have a good paying job".
I chuckled very quietly and to myself when 6 months later she was bitching about how expensive her son's COMMUNITY college education is.
iamtheowlman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:44:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the old 'go in one day and talk to the manager/boss' speech.
I got better advice when they wanted to remove some of my organs.
juuru ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:19:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got confused when I misread it as "pull yourself up by the booty straps!"
Not_a_Flying_Toy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when someone says "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" have you ever tried lifting yourself by pulling on your shoes??? That's a horrible expression for what people use it for.
APiousCultist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda like people think 'droll' means boring because of the stereotype of some aristocratic character faking enthusiasm by dryly responding to something that bores them with "How very droll...".
A lot of people now hear the bootstrap phrase but completely miss the original meaning.
Klein_TK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really want to kick you in the shins for saying this but I gotta tell myself you don't actually think what you just said. I hope.
BettiePhage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's right!" Makes me want to stab someone. Especially in that tone. You know the one.
Paranitis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That store/manager one is literally what my mom told me and my friends mom AND dad told him.
It doesn't work that way anymore you over-50 fucks. Get with the times!
Slash_rage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But you ain't got no legs lieutenant Dan.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this makes me want to punch someone in the dick.
aaaaaandimatwork ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:18:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In there defense, I was a young person without a job about 4 years ago. One day someone told me to buck up and go beg for a job. I begged at the mall and got minimum wage. 6 months later it was $12 an hour. Now its 50k/year. I WAS being lazy. Now I know what it means to work hard. College was easy compared to this.
GoblinTart ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:08:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of mall job do you have?
feex3 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:43:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/3gftgr/z/ctxun09
Apparently he's an insurance underwriter
aaaaaandimatwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont work at the mall anymore. I worked at Express for about 4 months. From there I got a job at a Ralph lauren for about 12/hr for about 7 months at Ralph. After that I got a temp job at a finance company in central NJ. I did another 7 months at that finance company before landing a position in customer service for a large insurance company. After 1 year in that position I was promoted to my current position. I make about 50k with overtime. It only took about 3 years to rise from minimum wage to 50K.
kyzfrintin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:17:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, you didn't work hard to get your job? They don't seem to see the flaw in their logic when they say things like this.
RelaxPrime ยท -29 points ยท Posted at 17:36:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair my generation is incredibly lazy. And the ones behind us are even more fucked.
HaYuFlyDisTang ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:47:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to socialize more and understand there are more types of people in your generation than the ones on MTV.
RelaxPrime ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to understand that whining isn't activism. Going to school for a stupid degree isn't advancing education. Biking to work isn't going green. You can be delusional all you want- and certainly some of my generation isn't lazy and entitled- but the majority is.
I don't know why this is such a shock to people.
You go to McDonalds (or anywhere)- you get an eye roll for even showing up and having the audacity to order. You get a sigh when you want something off your burger, and a visible scowl when you want a special order. Don't you dare expect someone to bring your order to you, wait up by the counter and carry it yourself. Oh and you want them to actually let you know it's your food? Well you'll have to look at the receipts and figure it out yourself. On top of that half of them will put some cheesy tip jar out there.
Don't kid yourself.
HaYuFlyDisTang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never had an experience like that and I'm a white guy in a very poor, mostly black area. There are lazy people, but generally they aren't working.
Everyone I know in my age group works hard. Most work two jobs. Few can afford their own place without roommates but are OK with that.
I'm not saying my experience is the only truth. I'm saying there's more types of people in the world than just the ones you are describing.
If you choose to live your life so negatively, that is your choice. Just know that you are not doing anything to fix the problem you described but are in fact contributing to it.
RelaxPrime ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:27:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh boy. First off- my negativity has nothing to do with other people's problems. I don't owe anybody anything to have a desire to fix those problems either.
Everyone you know works hard? lol generalizations aside You not knowing a single lazy person puts you in even a smaller minority then previously thought.
Or perhaps your idea of lazy is something much much lazier than I imagine. Perhaps you are lazy and don't even know it.
Working two jobs doesn't mean much- I used to work two jobs and go to school, and still found time to smoke pot and skip actually working at those jobs.
Just look at reddit- I am downvoted to hell for simply saying the majority of people are lazy. Statistics and anecdotal evidence may support my assumption but alas- this is reddit and everyone's feelings overshadow the truth.
Our generation is screwed until they grow up enough, get shit on enough, and marginalized enough to realize they made poor decisions. Perhaps your friends and you have already done the growing up.
No idea why you feel the need to defend our own generation either- speaks volumes of their lack of ability.
Bio_Hazardous ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:34:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go outside.
UmerHasIt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chances are, I'm younger than you.
I currently (during summer) work two jobs, one coding professional software, and another teaching elementary schoolers robotics. I also build 120 lbs robots which my team and I compete at an international level in and build microelectronics for as cheap as possible (I made a Bluetooth Speaker for $3, all parts included in that number, excluding soldier). Then I also go to school for 8 hours and finished Calc BC last year. In my free time I also study for the ACT because I wasn't happy with my 33 from my first time.
Sorry, what was that about the "kids of this generation being lazy?"
RelaxPrime ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:45:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
exceptions only make the rules dude. You sound smart enough to realize you are a minority among your peers.
Hannyu ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 16:43:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This shit. Who raised us, and who raised the generation that raised us? Maybe if you weren't shit at parenting our generation wouldn't suck as bad as you believe it does.
JanetSnakehole24 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:18:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! They raised us and are now complaining about how our generation turned out. How do you think that happened?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:21:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sheeesh, you millenyiers can't accept responsibility either.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:42:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For shit we didn't do? No, I'm not taking that garbage.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:59:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kenny__Loggins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:19:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're definitely a dad
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One day you'll join us and we can all talk about how this new generation is lazy and entitled. We'll all reminisce about how the world felt so much more connect and respectful in 2015. Ahhh the good old days.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:51:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Hannyu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What I was refering to are the ones who act like our generation is magically and without explanation shitty, when they played their part in the equation. Not saying its all on them, but they certainly didn't help
HumanTrafficCone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd agree with that.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone shits in a pizza box and hands it to you, you don't need an excuse for why there is shit in the pizza box. You did'nt do anything wrong.
And nobody said anything about not trying.
HumanTrafficCone ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's true, but I am also not entitled to a pizza just because I think I deserve it.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody said anything about being entitled to a pizza. That isn't part of the analogy.
The younger generation got handed a fucked up government and economy. You don't get to criticize these people for the way things are and for being the way they are when you literally ran this country and raised these people to be this way.
That would be handing them the box after shitting in it and then accusing them not only of shitting in it, but criticizing them because they aren't holding the box properly, which you taught them to do improperly years ago.
HumanTrafficCone ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good job with all your righteous indignation, but if you read my original post you'd clue in that I'm part of this younger generation.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care what generation you are a part of. If you're arguing a point, own it.
RelaxPrime ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 17:38:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you're just agreeing with them that these generations are shitty, but it's their fault so YOLO?
Lol fucking kids these days. So fucking stupid and lazy.
Tylandredis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:58:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hm. Ironic.
Hannyu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1) you won't catch me associating with the YOLO crowd, so go away with that shit.
2) what I'm saying is we hear ahit all the time like "your generation isn't qualified for these jobs!" Well no fucking shit. Baby boomers have been doing them since they were 20 and you never brought anyone in to replace them when they retire. Now their retirement is a reality and they realize no one is qualified to replace 20,30 years of experience. I mean no shit. Is that really our generations fault that the work force assumed you fuckers would live forever and didn't start training replacements and prepare for the future.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If so, you are proof that it has always been this way, ya old cunt.
whatzen ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:21:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aah, the age old dilemma of inter-generational bickering. So aptly demonstrated by the two above comments. The old blaming the young, and the young reciprocating. It will never change.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:03:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, maybe the young can pull their head from their ass, look forward, and realize they'll be doing the exact same thing but I'm sure they'll be completely different.
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Actually there's some decent social science out there to suggest that it goes in cycles and that only certain generations bicker (each cycle is ~80 years and each generation is ~20).
For example the old will bitch at the young if they were born into a golden age because from their perspective they only see things going downhill until they eventually die, right before the next golden age. And obviously they didn't cause it. Things were great when they were young and making their mark on the world. Therefore it must have been the gens who came after that fucked it all up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just waiting for the conservative hold outs to disappear as old people die out.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:11:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or even dumber "Oh, yeah, the 'everyone gets a medal' generation". Who was handing out the medals?!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:01:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But, not everyone has a kid. I don't have kids, I think parents are fucking idiots but so are their kids.
And, kids grow up and continue being morons and raise the next generation. So, it'll happen to everyone here, as well.
RelaxPrime ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 17:40:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That shit is true though dumbass. Lol you ever been to a sport tournament of any kind?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:44:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, but we're not handing the medals to ourselves, at least we certainly weren't in school. It was our parents' pansy assed generation doing it, so if it's someone from the previous generation, or the one that raised it, who says it, more of a failing on their part really.
RelaxPrime ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 17:47:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah the victim mentality is what's got you screwed. No one gives a shit about medals anyways.
Delror ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:06:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow you really hate millenials. Sit down, grandpa, go take your meds.
RelaxPrime ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:47:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a millenial. lol If you can't take a step back and realize the vast majority of our generation are lazy and entitled- you are just as bad off as them.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:47:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't believe you. You talk too much like a baby boomer who only watches Fox News. Thankfully, society moves forward, one graveyard at a time.
RelaxPrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As you grow older and mature, you will be more likely to lean conservatively and hold the same type of beliefs.
Society moving forward- that is quite rich. I'm sure you feel the growing gap between rich and poor is advancement? The rising costs of health care- with the cost of everything else dropping is moving forward? The only thing advancing in this country is the debt.
I suppose you believe yourself to be an intellectual and enlightened eh there Bacon Lord?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of those problems are created by baby boomers who don't have the decency to die already. A poisonous generation if there ever was one. Their parents gave them everything, and so they steal from their children.
RelaxPrime ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The victim mentality suits our generation well.
ReservoirKat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I have. Multiple ones, and recently. Trophies and ribbons went to first, second, and third place. Occasionally, fourth and fifth if it was a large tournament of 20+ teams.
I've also supervised field days at my schools. Yes, every child gets participation ribbons, but only first, second, and third get actual medals. And when we give out end of the year awards, only a few kids get those. The only "award" that most students get is "Congratulations on advancing to the next grade!" And that's it. I have no idea where this idea that all school districts do this nowadays came from, but ffs it isn't true.
RelaxPrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Participation award. lol
ridemyscooter ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:57:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially back then when one could pay for college by working a summer job and not having to take out loans. Also, a lot of people back then didn't have college degrees so any degree would more or less get you a job where now, if you don't do some kind of STEM degree or business, good luck!
BoomAndZoom ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:32:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back then you actually went to college to learn, as well. A degree wasn't a rubber stamp, most companies still had hiring exams you needed to pass to be considered. My mother had an accounting degree and had to take her company's exam when she applied, and from what I hear it was brutal.
You didn't need to go to college to get a job because if you could pass these harsh exams you clearly knew most everything that was relevant anyway. But hiring exams were declared discriminatory, so companies now require college degrees to get at least some indication that an applicant knows what they claim they do.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:41:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is this discriminatory? It seems even more discriminatory when you can't afford to go to college and no one will consider you for a job. If they still had exams like that you could have an actual chance at studying for it yourself. What the fuck?
Edit: Did anyone ever claim that it was discriminatory against college grads? If so...
BoomAndZoom ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:23:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The same way colleges are discriminatory if they don't accept a certain number of minority students, I guess.
fivdd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Entitlement! I mean sheesh, you go through all of that and actually expect to earn a decent living? /s
thebigbradwolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:58:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, for some reason we're starting Millenials is used by people to mean everything from people born in 2003 to people born in 1980. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millennials
iamaneviltaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because "Millennial" means someone who hit adulthood around the turn of the Millennium. Millennials have been able to vote for around 15 years.
HalfBakedTurkey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:18:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We are still shitting ourselves
StumbleOn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:53:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pet peeve of mine as well.
The current young-ish crowd has it objectively far worse in every definable metric other than toys than their parents did. We have less money, everything is more expensive, jobs pay less, school costs more, jobs demand more, etc.
But people are really fucking awful at empathy, and understanding that experience is not universal. Older folks often see their children stumble over things that they found easy when they had to do it. But, they don't really consider how it was before. They remember "I worked and paid for school." Never mind that both are several times more expensive in relation to wages now. They say "I went and got a summer job." Never mind that those jobs pay minimum wage unless you're privileged. They say "I had a house at 30." Never mind that their job started with more money, their housing market was less competitive, and they had a type of security that doesn't exist anymore.
They say "It was easy when I did it," but forget that in doing so that they burned the bridge they used to get there, and we younger people now have to take the long way around. The baby boomers, via world circumstances, inherited the most powerful set of tools imaginable. Then they stripped them to the bone, left them in a closet to rust, and expect their children to make do. Never mind that their children have it harder than they ever did.
Except, of course, for shit like iPads. I'd rather have started a 25/hr job right out of college, than have every little stupid gadget I now find myself with. It would have made my life a hell of a lot easier.
sphynx_35 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:03:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But isn't that just blaming an entire generation? You can't agree with someone about blaming an entire generation and then blame an entire generation.
wonderfuladventure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that exactly what the guy said not to do? Judge a whole generation as one?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
wonderfuladventure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Reddit is so petty" edits post to tell them
aredditgroupthinker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good point! They are not in power yet. I blame the baby boomers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love this. So much. How people accuse those that were in swaddling clothes when important political decisions were made were somehow responsible for the fallout...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
let me tell you, the "millennial to Snake People" extension for Chrome made reading this so much less frustrating.
porkabeefy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it our generations fault that your generation sucks so bad. We should have beat you more!
GenXer1977 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But baby boomers totally need to go away, right?
erispie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahahaha, I forgot about an extension I had and have been trying to figure out if Snake People was a reddit term I hadn't twigged to yet. Nope, it's a silly extension I added and forgot.
http://i.imgur.com/uAQ9rJA.png
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young we didn't have any of those fancy video games. We stared at the sun, and we liked it that way!
Phreakiture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gen-X here. I actually like the Millenials, and think they will be fine in the long run.
RexHavoc879 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Milleniels were people born from the early 80s tot he early 2000s. So some of us have been in the work force for a few years, FYI.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love my grandfather's opinion on this. He always says in a way only a grandfather can.
"you know, I always hear people talkin' about the good ol' day, well I'll tell you something about the good old days. They were shitty. Now in days people are nicer to each other, we have all this new technology that's keeps us in touch. I think people just remember it fondly because it was simple, now in days it's more complicated, but that's not a bad thing"
Obi_Kwiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to retort by saying, "Yeah, your generation were terrible parents."
gurucomplex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, like WHO RAISED US??? The current generation is a direct reflection of choices made by previous generations. Either adapt or blame yourselves.
Dodgiestyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This generation is so misguided".
"Really? Cause you raised us, so who's fault could that possibly be?"
Bonolio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same as the baby boomers being blamed for everything when most of them are just folk doing the best for themselves just like every other person on the planet.
FYI. Feel free to blame Gen X for whatever you want, we really don't give a fuck want you think.
Kraymur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I had a dime for everytime I heard a person 60 and older complain about how our generation is messed up. If have enough to buy a house in the economy they ruined.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sister and her friends all have smartphones now. This is because they see the adults using them and want them. You can't tell a kid they can't have a tablet or whatever and to learn to play outside if you're doing the opposite.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
most of the problems that older people are dealing with are the result of shit that happened while they were in diapers too.
klop2031 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:36:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair its not totally their fault. The last generation can not be blamed for everyone's school loan problem. If you (not you specifically) don't like the interest on loans then just don't take them.
RuhWalde ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:02:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except that colleges have increased their tuition to keep pace with the amount of loans available, assuming that students will be able to pay the exorbitant rates with loans. So it is no longer possible to pay tuition without loans, unless your parents can pick up the bill. It is impossible to make enough money with a summer / part-time job.
Locke57 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:53:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me I needed to save all money from working a summer job if I wanted to go to college, so I saved and saved and saved and had 3000 bucks to my name. Paid half a semester. Woohoo.
klop2031 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not at minimum wage. What about working full time?
RuhWalde ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:20:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If I could have landed a full-time job at 18 that paid enough to cover all college expenses, I wouldn't have even bothered to go to college.
klop2031 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay that is reasonable.
SamuraiRafiki ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:58:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They were the ones in charge when the price of tuition skyrocketed. They were the ones voting and making decisions while college became indispensable and costs ballooned out of control and predatory lenders took over the lending and they were the ones who voted in the politicians who passed the law saying bankruptcy wouldn't settle college loans. It's their fault. We were presented with the option to either A) Take the loan or B) never get a good job. Also option A doesn't come with a good job necessarily either. But you kids and your cell phones jeez!
Seriously though, fuck the baby boomers.
klop2031 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A and B don't have to happen.
SamuraiRafiki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can not go to college and somehow get a good, high paying job with benefits? What are you even talking about?
klop2031 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its very possible. In fact I personally know people who have done this. Don't get me wrong getting an education is very important. You also don't need to take out huge loans in order to do so. That's what I am saying. Do you think everyone who goes to get educated takes out loans?
GamerKey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are we still talking about average people who don't have rich parents and/or a trust fund?
klop2031 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. The average Joe
Tophattingson ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:26:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FUCKING HELL THAT WAS QUICK
Hraesvelg7 ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 15:45:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That stuff keeps coming out of people who have no place complaining about it, even if it were true. Oh, you resent kids today because when you were their age you behaved with respect? I was there in the same classes at the same school you were. You were just as much a douchenozzle asshole as the kids you complain about now.
Rodents210 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:27:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love seeing some people I went to high school with complain about "kids these days." I'm often tempted to comment about how they were the most disrespectful, lazy, confrontational assholes I've met to date when they were in school and they're not much more respectful, industrious, or mellow these days either. Holding everyone else up to a standard they never held for themselves. And note that these people I'm referring to have been out of high school for like five years. Some of them were complaining about "kids these days" a matter of weeks after they got their HS diploma.
nlaprise ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:47:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Self-reflection is not a skill many posess
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No more than any average joe....
Ashroda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:27:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just want to note that I'm loving the word 'douchenozzle' right now.
eskanonen ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:36:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa is the worst about this. He was trying to generalize people my age and kept saying "of course you and your cousins are different". I asked him what other people my age he was interacting with to come to this conclusion, but he doesn't interact with any. Everyone he's met my age is an exception. I don't get it.
souIIess ยท 372 points ยท Posted at 15:47:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
~Socrates
G_Morgan ยท 490 points ยท Posted at 16:11:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair Socrates never said that. It was invented in the 19th century to express the idea that people had been saying it about kids forever.
souIIess ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 16:19:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like you're right, but the quote still has some merit:
http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/01/misbehaving-children-in-ancient-times/
[deleted] ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 16:31:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ManWhoKilledHitler ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:33:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
~Lao-Tze
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:48:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
~Confucius
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:05:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
~Heraclitus
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:37:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
~Louis XV
Helios-Apollo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
~Louis CK
WASDMagician ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:40:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
~Goa-Tze
Herpderpberp ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:00:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
~Ban Zhao
knee-che ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Subtle.
Hoser117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
~Abraham Lincoln
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:00:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
~Michael Scott
eukomos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is however a similar passage in Aristophanes' The Clouds, which is actually about how Socrates is the one corrupting the youth.
Tokentaclops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
source? genuinely interested, been spouting that quote for years when this discussion came up, oops.
philipquarles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like Cicero's "O tempora! O Mores!"
BettiePhage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, really?
kylepierce11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For real? I've heard that attributed to him forever, even on what seemed like believable sources.
watermasta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't trust every quote you read on the internet..."
-Abraham Lincoln.
Moezso ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:34:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
43.7% of all internet quotes are false. Also 97.2% of statistics are made up on the spot.
dmkicksballs13 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even if it had been written by Socrates, that doesn't make it right. Appeal to authority if I've ever seen it.
princessfebruary ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:40:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the idea is that throughout history the older generation has been saying the same thing about the younger generation. It's not this younger generation which is suddenly awful, the older generation has always had a disapproving attitude towards the younger generation.
Adasafa ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:38:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood why this was so. I'm guessing it's due, in part, to the fact that we have technology to help us along with a lot of the crap they used to have to put up with, and how much easier their lives would've been if they had it. The thing they don't realize is that, thanks to this technology, expectations have adjusted accordingly, and the things they used to do without the aid of technology are being replaced with things that we have to do thanks to the technology. We make something that makes life easier, and then we find something to replace what the technology fixed.
akaioi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is an interesting question . . .
Do you think that every generation of kids in all nations across all cultures across all time is exactly as disobedient as all the rest?
Color me dubious. Does culture, by which I mean kids' culture, really never change materially?
souIIess ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:48:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a saying where I'm from which I've often found quite accurate; the cow forgets that it ever was a calf.
I think that as we get older, we either forget or justify our own stupid behaviour then turn right around and judge our children for doing the same stupid stuff we did.
People love to hate on millenials etc, but of those that have interned where I work, I've seen only polite, kind and intelligent kids who are much more open and well informed than I ever was at that age.
strongandweak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If we were like that back then we haven't changed much.
Vamking12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
^ proof it's been around for a long ass time.
omegashadow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Considering the actual source of the quote your comment is hilarious.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3gljgr/what_is_a_phrase_that_makes_you_instantly_dislike/ctz9w4ze
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like how on the internet you can make up quotes and people upvote/like/share them anyways.
souIIess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh I remembered this quote from an old school history book, which attributed the quote to Socrates.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which is bullshit. That qoute was made by a student in the early 20th century for school.
souIIess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know, as you can see further up in this thread.
TheFuckNameYouWant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite part is when when he says that they cross their legs and don't stand when their elders enter the room.
Why did you leave that part out man?!?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-King Arthur
Honztastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like his other one
-Socrates
dudester28 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:12:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If I had a nickel for every time a baby boomer complained about my generation, I would be able to buy a house in the economy they ruined."
TheUnbiasedRedditor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gold, Jerry. Definitely saving this for later.
FutureTellingPenguin ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:53:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother I think kids today are lazy. Back in my day we didn't sit around playing video games, we sat around playing monopoly.
nlaprise ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The days when I could beat my younger sis at monopoly (cheating was so much easier, no need for some fancy software)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I wash I had someone to play monopoly with. Everyone is playing video games now. :/
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:53:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:18:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's your uncle, maybe he's just trying to piss you off for shits and giggles.
Dan_Ashcroft ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God damn kuds
nlaprise ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:57:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't like your uncle very much. Because he was listless doesn't mean you have to be. Set yourself goals and work for them, that will be more than he ever accomplished.
Good luck in college! What are you gonna study? Not sure what a community college is but why do you downplay it?
--ForTheWatch-- ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:23:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That generation is.... the kids these days..... When I was young we...."
And sometimes it's the 16-19 year olds that say this, pisses me right off.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For real? I'd love to hear that that must be freaking hilarious
--ForTheWatch-- ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:29:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When I was young I only had a plastic toy phone, kids nowadays have iphones." The twat said bitterely while holding their Samsung Nexus Galaxy S3000 Supreme Edition, that their mummy or daddy bought them.
When I hear that, it's a mixture of hilarity and fury.
nlaprise ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:44:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's totally awesome I'm just imagining the 7 y.o. chatting up his mates....
Eilstina ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:55:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's a product of the quick turnover for new devices. 20 years ago we didn't have nearly the tech we do today and millenials grew up with technology changing faster than anyone could keep up with it. Of course the 17 year old didn't have an iPhone at 7, because It didn't exist then. They probably would have had one had they actually been a thing when they were that age, that's why I never understood that analogy.
odie4evr ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 17 and this generation is pretty great. Accepting, connected, and worldly, we'll make the world better. Clean up all the shit the baby boomers left behind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:30:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with "When I was young, we"? That seems like a legit way to start decent stories.
nlaprise ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:47:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. You're telling a story not judging an entire age group.
ibbity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a legit way to start a story, not a legit way to start bitching about how terrible everyone under 30 is
Endulos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a difference between "When I was young, we used to go down to the local lake and <insert funny story>"
and
"When I was young, we weren't lazy shit like you were! We didn't have these new fangled vidja games! We had to go out and work the fields!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I took the title of the thread too seriously.
StoppedLurking_ZoeQ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:18:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it is. Even in school I hated the younger kids. After leaving I hated the highschool kids. When those kids joined me at College I started to hate the even younger. Now I hate the generation that's been born but doesn't play out side or climb tries and instead sits all day on there phone. Little girls dressing like sluts at birthday parties while trying to be hipster. I really do hate the younger generation, It's screwed up how much social networking has absobered them.
And I'm only 21, I can see the pattern unfolding, I don't blame the 70 year olds and 40 year olds who think their generation was better. I really do think my generation is better than the others. I think it's just the way the human brain likes to group together, even when it comes to humans we are ageist.
I'm not actually extremely angry or anything, more poking fun based on how I think, just incase angry people start downvoting...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"/s" is a good way to indicate sarcasm
opalescenttreeshark ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:21:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when they are complaining that my generation is lazy.. Are some people in their early twenties lazy? Yes. But don't complain to me that, when I'm trying my hardest to pay my way through school. It's hard, I wish I was able to be lazy; instead, I never get a day off because I go to school full time, spend 40 hours a week working for free at clinicals and then work to try and make a little money.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep on the good work, don't let your elders put you down!
newloaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Typical Millennial.
nlaprise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish ;-)
hatillathenun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kids these days, they don't know...
nlaprise ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:10:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Clueless!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always use "When I was your age..." to start jokes, so I can share a laugh with my younger friends.
"When I was your age the only game I could play on my cellphone was snake, and we was better for it."
Lostraveller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers. -Socrates
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While it is certainly irritating to see such broad generalizations, isn't it fair to suggest that a person who is older would have more experience than one who is younger?
Again, broad generalizations are never smart, but when a evidence presents a solid majority, it's not that much of a stretch to consider the stereotype somewhat valid.
forgetasitype ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. I'm 42, and this is just starting to become really common in my age group. It's so funny that they don't see what they are doing. They reject any music that's not from the 80s and 90s. They think the world is getting scarier and more dangerous. They reject new technology as pointless rather than acknowledging they are just avoiding learning something new.
If I have to read one more post about how we slid around the back seat without seat belts and turned out fine.
nlaprise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And no helmets while riding a bike!
What's funny i that my parents would be horrified if I was as lax as they were in the 70's...
poneil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One time I went to a lecture from Pulitzer prize winning biographer David McCullough, which was great, but he made a lot of "kids these days" remarks. And all I could think was that he's extensively researched the most successful and influential people in American history. Of course kids these days are going to seem unaccomplished.
Dementat_Deus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not? I judge the ever living shit out of the boomers. They are the ones who fucked most the shit up. Not that my generation has really helped or fixed anything, and the millennial kids aren't old enough to have influenced anything yet.
EpochZero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course not! I judge them based on giant quantities of data and analytics - just like marketing companies do.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=408989
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=644749
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Those who criticise our generation forget who raised it." - Unknown
calladus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:25:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Baby boomer here.
Our parents were convinced that we were all going to die of sex, drugs and rock and roll.
Or that we were possessed by demons for playing Dungeons and Dragons or going to rock and roll concerts.
"You listen to Stevie Nicks? Isn't she a witch? Isn't that inviting Satan into your life?"
or
"You listen to 'Hotel California'? You worship Satan, don't you! Admit it!"
It has been this way for as long as history has been recorded. The elders have always been displeased with the current youth.
Now you kids, Get off my lawn!
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah I remember the dungeon and dragons stuff, that was so silly....
Endulos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I laugh whenever I hear an older person go
"WELL WHEN I WAS A KID I DIDN'T SPEND ALL DAY IN DOORS! I WENT OUTSIDE AND HAD FUN!"
Yes, but when you were a kid, what the fuck was there to do inside? Television had just been invented, a lot of people didn't have it, and even in through the 60's and 70's, how much of that TV was dedicated or even appropriate for kids? Shit, you probably had like 5 channels max if you even had a TV!
The reality of the matter is you went outside because you HAD to go outside, not because you WANTED to. These days, kids have a HELL of a lot more stuff they CAN do indoors and still be entertained.
barto5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Limited experience? Why I'm 68 years old, what the hell do you know about 'limited experience'?
Let me tell you something you little whipper-snapper, when I was your age...
cp24eva ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:19:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's going to be funny is when you get real old and remember this reddit post. At some point in time I think we all make the generational comparisons. Save this reddit post. Trust me. You will laugh later. lol.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh trust me I'm much better to see flaws in others than I am in finding minee...
Ledpoizn445 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:58 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Back in my day, we didn't have computers!"
"Fuck off grandpa, you're full of shit!"
Sure, I agree you shouldn't judge who people are by their age, but there are actual differences between people of different times. When my grandfather was a boy, every person he knew lived of a farm. When my mom was his age only half the people she knew lived on farms. I don't know any farmers. The way people live changes the way they act and what is "normal" to them. I always thought it was cool to learn about what life and customs were like from my elders.
bass_n_treble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:04:50 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To me this says "I have lost the ability to get to know individual people because I'm so out of touch"
phaqueue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair... I say this a lot in jest...
But the people who are serious, drive me up a fucking wall
nlaprise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just human nature, we all were guilty of it at some point but I piss myself off when I have those thoughts.... Being aware of our faults is the first step to being better
Cheers mate!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I had a dollar for every time a baby boomer complained about my generation, I'd be able to buy a house in this economy that they ruined.
Bohnanza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kids these days
Rootkit9208 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back in my day, it was more acceptable to generalize a generation since a lack of internet made communities more insular, thus reducing sample sizes.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Internet isn't gonna stop anyone from make these comments. As human we try to analyze situation by making relations that are as simple as possible, explanation that can fit in a short discussion.
Rootkit9208 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
whoosh
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah ah at least by a mile!!!!!! I'm pretty thick ;-)
Ganglebot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those same people get REALLY MAD when you say, "Well the baby boomers all want..."
Try it! Its fun.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will ;-)
dcux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not judge an entire generation, but when the internet didn't exist a generation ago, there are certainly significant differences to the childhood experience. Perhaps one of the most significant single generation changes we've seen.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In some aspect sure, I was born in the 70's and there are a lot of differences between the way I was raised and how it is now, however everyone still want the same thing as 40 years ago:
*Being loved * being accepted, * Getting a job * etc....
Everything else is cosmetic...
Professional_Ninja7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As millennial myself I will admit a lot of my peers are idiots. I wouldn't go so far as to say all millennials are dumb, but very often I am disappointed with the way my peers act and think and I am definitely disappointed the direction we are taking society.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me tell you something: it was exactly the same 40 years ago.
source: i was there.
Professional_Ninja7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me feel better about the future, in some weird way.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's made out of people like you, we'll be fine.
aglassofsherry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also hate it when kids from "this generation" say that they hate their generation. Like, calm down. You haven't even had the chance to fuck anything up too badly yet.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The sad truth : They're a completely average generation (as we were back then)
captainfluffballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When I was your age we used to go outside and ride bikes all day with our friends etc. not just sit inside playing computer games all day!"
"yeah, well maybe we would do that too if you didn't keep us locked inside because of dangerous roads and pedophiles"
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's terrible I know. I'm a parent and it's like we feel, we need to control every aspect of our kids lives (hint: we don't).
We sign them up for all kind of classes, feel obligated to play with them all the time... it's not always healthy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People my age (early 20s) say this and it pisses me off. We are not the lazy generation any more than any other generation was! My grandpa said the same thing about vietnam vets 30 years ago..
nlaprise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No you're not, if anything it's much harder for you guys than it was 20 years ago.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just laugh thinking about what my grandpa said. In the mid 80s there was apparently a parade celebrating the vietnam vets (maybe for memorial day or something? I didn't exist so I've only heard the story secondhand) and so my family was all together. My grandpa and his brother were grumbling about how they didn't complain about going to war (for them, world war 2) and they enlisted instead of getting drafted. The phrase "vietnam crybabies" came up at some point, and my dad's family still laughs about it 30 years later. Hating on an entire generation has got to be one of the least self-aware thing you can do.
nlaprise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good story indeed, shows you that it's they way of man.....
Uncle_Skeeter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's perfectly ok to judge an entire generation.
But it's not like your opinion is correct.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you're from a generation that's usually wrong so....
awsears25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when people share facebook pictures about how great their childhood was and how today's kids are too sheltered when they're the parents who wouldn't dream of letting their children do that shit
Kaibakura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now I feel like we should be talking about Rampart.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the opposite is fucking annoying too.
Im only 14 but I listen to this lol my generation is sooo stupid fuck justin bieber
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reason this generation may seem worse is because we're the first ones that get to document and share our stupidity online.
Also that when you look at the past and say "things were just better back then," especially when it comes to music, is because the crap got forgotten/broken, so the stuff that's left is the good stuff.
internet_friends ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We live in a decaying age. Young people no longer respect their parents. They are rude and impatient. They frequently inhabit taverns and have no self control." -- from an ancient Egyptian tomb
Just goes to show that humanity has always been this way.
boobsmcgraw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dated a guy recently who kept saying "back in my day...". He was 37. 7 years older than me. I don't know why it annoyed me so much, but it did. I just kept yelling "You're only 7 years older than me!" - I feel so young, I can't imagine saying "back in my day" about anything. This IS my day!
Bladelink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say "kids these days.." with a scoff when I'm intentionally trying to be condescending. I'm 28.
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well now that you have the experience....
Alexanderbander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wikipedia isn't a valid source"
bangorthebarbarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Socrates would have a word with you.
shaggy1265 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You might like (or hate) /r/lewronggeneration
Literal_Blastoise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay but back me up here... Kids are getting bitchier, right?
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well of course, that's a given...
SSSS_car_go ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And by the same token, People older than 40/50/60/etc. . . . Seniors . . . Parents . . .
a_white_american_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yeah it is. You wanna lump yourself together with a bunch of turds by being born around the same time as them the you gotta pay the consequences.
NicknameUnavailable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But you're all literally retarded.
ElQuesoBandito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
found the millenial
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish!
wackawacka2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I just want to interject that this works both ways. Everyone seems to think the "older generation" is ignorant and otherwise wrong about an endless number of things. That's no fun either. A lot of those comments are just generalizations, based on what people's grandmas were like in the 80s. Many of us are not so uninformed.
xxkoloblicinxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't understand what's wrong with your generation!"
"Umm... We were raised by YOURS"
CRISPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My experience is limited for me. For you, my experience is gold.
nlaprise ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:15:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, I was disrespectful , I shall atone for my sins in the cave...
CutterJohn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The flip side is equally true. Head over to a sub like /r/politics and be amazed at all the hate directed at the boomer generation, for instance.
bumjiggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hit them back with "well, if we were raised properly, maybe..."
jcooli09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I stole this from Mental Floss, I couldn't find the one I half remember attributed to Aristotle.
This has always bugged me and has never been true. Each generation is largely like the last, and maybe a little bit better. Life has been steadily improving on Earth for thousand and thousands of years.
I'm 50 and recognize that those young men showing their underwear will create a better world.
Now, get off my lawn.
Edit:words
thatguy3444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is the reasoning "I did X, and I turned out fine!"
Oh. I guess I'll just throw away all these studies then.
battraman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The one that shows up on Facebook all the time is, "Kids today don't play in the street like we did."
First of all, yes they fucking do. I saw some kids doing it recently. Secondly, you aren't supposed to play in the fucking street! Do you want to get run over?
rolfraikou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I generally agree, but there's a few times where people said this, and actually followed it with astute observations, and did actually seem to help them understand the newer generation.
So only in certain contexts will those words bother me.
EuphJoenium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only use those because I'm 23 and I tell kids that are at least 9 years younger than me that "When I was your age, Pluto was still a planet!" I don't really use it other than that.
who_ate_the_cookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people I know like to use 'nice story grandpa' after someone uses one of those lines
AfroMonkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is, "people these days always seem to [negative action]" no, people have been the same since the beginning of time, fashion and trends just make it look different.
The-MeroMero-Cabron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The response to this is: My generation was raised by YOUR generation.
nancyaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was your age, Pluto was a planet! All joking aside, I don't think it's cool to paint an entire generation with the same brush. I've met amazing people from all generations. As the Jackson 5 sang (wow, I'm dating myself): A few bad apples don't spoil the whole bunch, girl.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These kids these days with the music and the hair..
-- Said Every Generation Ever About People 20 Years Younger
Rev_Jim_lgnatowski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Such a recurring theme too. Every generation is lazier and more _______ than every generation to precede it. Also their music sucks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
nlaprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's a whole 188 months of experience...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol.
Phreakiture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but you can do comparatives as long as they're not judgemental.
Example: I'm Gen-X. I was talking to a Millenial a few days ago, and he commented how hard it must have been to have to use computers with only 64k of RAM. I told him to mark my words, that 20-25 years from now, he'd be on the other side of the conversation, with some twenty-year-old saying how hard it must have been to have "only" 16 gigs.
...and that's how you do it without being judgemental or confrontational. Generations have a lot to learn from each other. That includes the older learning from the younger. You can't do that if you can't compare notes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All generations are shit before they grow up, period. Snarky little brats always have been a pain.
I-Am-A-Goat-Yo ยท 2401 points ยท Posted at 15:27:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Squad goals" "relationship goals".....
djm1552 ยท 2013 points ยท Posted at 18:05:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae goals = bagels
darth_stroyer ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 22:32:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL
GaryTheGiraffe171 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:17:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Summon the great one!!!!
tea_with_ask_toolbar ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 23:43:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
starts playing bongos
For the POWER of salty fetishes and the omnipresent secret sauce, I SUMMON YOU, /u/I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL!
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 23:46:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck
hashtagbae ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:55:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this the guy?
1-of-3 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:00:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It appears so.
Tamazarashi ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:17:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We did it!! Now what? Do we get to watch him/her fuck a bagel?
tweeblethescientist ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:38:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe?
DoctorWSG ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:47:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do...do we warm it up first?
SuperSalsa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least we don't need to put cream cheese on it.
tea_with_ask_toolbar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:04:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Take him to the van! Guy should not have trusted the Ask Toolbar!
dennistouchet ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:00:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a joke:
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:34:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Thespus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You came to this thread to reply to a reply to a parent comment that you couldn't have known was in this thread unless...
BURN THE WITCH!
erispie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:46:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, you people say bagels wrong.
jinxjar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Key goals.
erispie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is either not how I pronounce bagels, or I don't know how "bae" is said.
Oukaria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:55:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up Britta, you can't even pronounce Bagel !
LeenaNOLA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, I don't know if you know this, but there's a guy who has a goal to FUCK BAGELS.
Box-of-Sunshine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like that. I'm gonna steal it. It's mine now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cheesy.
Amphabian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh
SavageDark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
tafluhr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So many bagel references in these comments.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess that works if your goal is to fuck "bae"
beingDevisor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if my bae goals are having bagels?
burrbro235 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bay gulls
Masterwnic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend works at a bagel shop, I should use this more
porntoomuch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like you don't deserve my upvote but I'm giving you one anyway.
GunnyMoJo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm stealing this.
dudewiththebling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae goals=bay gulls=seagulls=birds=dinosaurs
I figured it out. Women are half-dinosaur. That explains a lot of things.
shandromand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smeagol's?
Ryanmjesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will never unsee this and I am so damn happy.
I_am_a_Wookie_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
14 hours later, you've made a random internet stranger hungry. Congratulations.
djm1552 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I get hungry every time i read someones reply so...
ImAStruwwelPeter ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 17:46:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Squad goals: maybe one other person, a bunker, a lot of liquor, and access to Halo online.
diddy403 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:25:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'm too old, wtf do they mean when they say this?
jupiter78 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 21:02:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Squad goals = You wish your group of friends was like another group of friends.
Relationship Goals = You wish your relationship was like someone else's relationship.
diddy403 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 21:06:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, I only set squad goals in Battlefield 4.
Jarl__Ballin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PTFO, blueberry.
diddy403 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:43:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
REQUEST AMMO
just_redditing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:59:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Friends = squad....
Cringe!
UndeadBread ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's so weird. I've never heard these terms before. I honestly thought it supposed to be in reference to MMOs.
[deleted] ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 17:14:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it just because people say this so much? Because I'm having trouble seeing why it's negative to look at a good relationship and think "yes, I would like to have a good thing like that."
Novaer ยท 146 points ยท Posted at 17:57:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picture of a guy kissing a girl on the forehead
RELATIONSHIP GOOOAALLLSSS
anu26 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:48:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god it's like looking at Buzzfeed on reddit. Usually it's the other way round.
Hot_Tub_JohnnyRocket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see these everywhere on my Facebook news feed and they are so fucking stupid! I pretty much avoid going on at all costs because of stuff like this.
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 18:42:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CAPS_GET_UPVOTES ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:38:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ok
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ok
CoolHandzLuke ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:42:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think they mean just as a one off phrase not relationship goals within a proper sentence
trackerFF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's from places like Instagram of Facebook, where you'll have hundreds (if not thousands) of girls commenting "goals" whenever someone are posting pictures of couples, etc.
Whenever something is done to death, it becomes really fucking annoying.
B1GTOBACC0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a certain amount of parallel to the idea of "friend zone." It's setting a goal based around appearances and objectification instead of trying to actually build a relationship with a real life human.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree. If someone sees something they want and will work for it, it's a goal. Relationship goals aren't excluded from that, they just require two people to work for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
itsadooozy ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 18:56:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? They're both incredibly rich and successful people who have a daughter that they clearly care about and another kid on the way. Doesn't seem that crazy to me.
diabolical-sun ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 21:01:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I kinda respect the shit out of the Kardashians. They built up this mini-empire with a sex tape and the remnants of an old murder trial. How many celebrity personalities have come out of nowhere for the public to obsess over, simply to fade into obscurity in a couple months to a couple years? All the Paris Hiltons and Tila Tequilas we've seen but don't remember. We're closing in on 8 years since that sextape and not only are people still obsessing over Kim, but they're also obsessing over her entire family. It's not easy keeping people's attention for that long.
Kudos to them for knowing how to milk this shit. It's no accident that people are still paying attention to them.
CAPS_GET_UPVOTES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:52 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All I want to know is how they get THAT popular off of a sex tape. Kim's more famous than the guy she fucked to get famous.
CAPS_GET_UPVOTES ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:39:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
because fuck famous people /s
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:03:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
diabolical-sun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:39:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get the feeling that's just your assumption and you've never asked any of them "Why do you like Kim and Kanye so much?"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:20:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:41:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, surely liking someone for being a really good rapper is a good reason?
Lemonpug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only God can judge meeeee!1!!!1!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:16:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because posting "i want this celebrity couple's life" is pretty fucking sad and pathetic.
Make your own life and don't try to emulate someone else's.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:26:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd much rather be rich and famous tbh.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand how "living your own life" means you're going to be some unknown beggar.
But if you wanna ride Kanye's dick all day and cry that you're not Lord Yeezus, then go right ahead.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:11:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, I want to be rich and famous. Like I said.
The_Kommunist ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:41:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything "goals" really. I can't even really articulate why it annoys me so much
will05 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:35:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What bothers me is that the type of person to post these "goals" are usually doing jack shit to reach them, and are instead just sitting on their ass wondering why life isnt like in the "goal" posts
ElectroBoof ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:38:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it until someone says it about my relationship :P then it makes me feel good
KillaDilla ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you need to stop worrying about other people and establish some goals for yourself.
The_Kommunist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:24:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you need to do something better with your life than make innane replies to light hearted comments
KillaDilla ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:32:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even articulate how innane you sound right now.
The_Kommunist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:40:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even right now
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:50:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
posts picture of a couple baking cookies, truly the pinnacle of a relationship at which point there's no going back.
FowlyTheOne ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:33:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's a "squad goal"?
oxymoronic89 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:44:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
your "squad" is your group of friends. "squad goals" refers to a group of friends you wish yours was similar to, or had as much fun as.
FowlyTheOne ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:54:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, some people and you and your friends want to be like them?
oxymoronic89 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:10:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes exactly
JanetSnakehole24 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:23:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying to understand these new phrases. Then I remember I just don't care.
doobyrocks ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:19:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw "hair goals".
shudder
just_redditing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm balding but I can still dream can't I?!
abrahamisaninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much all that dumb yolo swagger bullshit.
SuperAlbertN7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Squad goals: Taking C point.
tricky_tree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something goals.
ParallelMrGamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Squad goals is a thing? Shit.
ItypeRandomWords ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally anything and everything is goals now
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but, I feel like those phrases are generally used as a joke.
epikninja123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yo, Goat.
TurtleSayuri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haaaate the word squad
trapezoid117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I delete friends off fb as soon as I see that shit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My squad goal is defusing the fucking bomb.
Sniffyerplank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing a lot of "eyebrow goals" at the moment...was this always a thing? Were eyebrows always so important?
WhoShotJunior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Work flow"
"Church flow"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's worse when people apply it to photos of themselves and their friends. Like, what the fuck does that even mean?
You and your boyfriend doing something together is "relationship goals", but who for? You? In that case, you've already accomplished your goals so what the fuck are you even talking about?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone has relationship goals but no body knows how a relationship goes.
Girlinhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relationship Goals: Get
gonebraska ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God damn kids these days.
LetMeGDPostAlready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have literally no idea what you're even talking about. Do you think you could clarify? I don't feel like reading the rest of the replies because the first 20 or so either mean nothing to me or contain some bagel reference.
yungun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the worst is when people say goals when it's happening. like they get hugged by a kid who loves them and they're like "goals." well it just happened so goal achieved
BenTheHokie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually use this ironically at this point.
Nymaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dear Nymaz, you just read this guy's first phrase as "squid goats", you're tired, go to bed. Also the fact that you're talking to yourself in your own comment is worrying.
CruciferousThursdays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say this but like as sarcasm
MrMeltJr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. I spent a semester in on-campus dorms, and the dorm leader or whatever it's called was super enthusiastic about it. She had this meeting with all the dorms (4 to a dorm) about our goals for the dorm, whatever that means. She asked us for some ideas, and we all sat around for a minute or so, thinking stuff like "bitch, I pay my rent and take out my trash and everything, I have shit to do."
Evebtually, one of my roommates says "well, I guess I'd rather not see any of your dicks this semester." We chuckle (she sits their awkwardly) and another roommate says "well I'm gay so I wouldn't mind." We laughed, she ended the meeting early and never brought it up again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After reading your "Squad Goals" comment, Taylor Swift just wrote a song about you...
cairogalactic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's a squad? Is that like group? Is this something I can google? Yes? Why am I still typing?
CAPS_GET_UPVOTES ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:41:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Take that fucking stick out of your ass it's not that bad.
KillaDilla ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:22:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea what is wrong with saying either of these things in the slightest...
CAPS_GET_UPVOTES ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They just think they're too good for those words so obviously anyone who uses them is stupid. It's the same thing as hating the words yolo and swag used to be, except these ones aren't even half as bad.
Dozerdoy ยท 878 points ยท Posted at 15:37:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Dude calm down"
I was fucking calm until you said this shit.
[deleted] ยท 251 points ยท Posted at 16:34:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Are you mad about something?"
"No."
"Because it seems like you're mad about something."
"I'm not."
"See? What was that tone?"
"I'm not using a tone."
"You seem angry."
"I'M ANGRY NOW."
nishikihebi ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:27:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling people to calm down is very rarely helpful, but as the child of someone who was raised in an abusive household, I picked up on that heightened sensitivity to people's emotions and I'm always concerned if someone's mood seems "off." I try to be extremely gentle and considerate about it, but if I'm having trouble reading you, I'll definitely ask "Is everything okay? I don't want to bug you, but let me know if anything is bothering you. I'm here to help."
Related to your example, I feel like this is a much better way of addressing potential concerns than unsubtly hinting about someone seeming mad...
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:35:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do what you're describing, too. And for the same reason.
"You alright?"
"Yes" (they are clearly not)
"Okay."
The difference is, my example is accusatory, while what we do is just a passive offer to talk.
erispie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm similar (though abuse wasn't from home, thank glob), any time I ask someone this it always turns out valid.
The manperson I'm close with has a stressed/tired face that's very similar to his I'M REALLY IRRITATED ABOUT SOMETHING face, and I cannot tell the difference sometimes. AFAIK I have never bothered him with asking. Well also he actually answers me, there's never a "NOTHING!" sort of answer.
smackfairy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:24:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is all of my conversations with my mother, and then she smugly holds the idea that she was "right all along".
alitairi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:02:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the epitome of my life. Doesn't help that I apparently have a very "upset looking" neutral face.
JustAnotherLemonTree ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:49:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ditto. As a kid I got the "why are you sad/mad" questions all the time and didn't know why until I looked in the mirror. Apparently I have Resting Bitch Face. I trained my face to wear a more neutral expression and it worked for a few years, until I went to college and got chronically stressed out. Frowny face returned and I have to retrain all over again. Sigh.
psychohosepolarbear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm calmer than you.
ParallelMrGamer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:20:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Person asking is Stewie, responder is Brian. Perfect.
erispie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meegan, you forgot your jacket!!!
HappyGangsta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know... It seems like that person very well could have been talking in a tone or being passive aggressive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you talking in a tone and being passive aggressive? Seems like you very well could be.
subhuman85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My life. Every day.
i_no_like_u ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually do this all the time to mess with my roommate. He gets so upset and then he's in a bad mood the rest of the day. It's hilarious.
:D
chuchuthechihuahua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:32 on December 24, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I no like u.
thebloodofthematador ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:20:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fact: Just today my two co-workers and I were walking down to look at a new office space we'd just acquired. Some asshole backs his car up over the sidewalk without looking and clips two of us. No injuries, but the closest colleague bangs on the trunk of the car (because it's a completely open sidewalk in a metropolitan area and this fucknugget just backs right up over it) and we're all three yelling, like "Hey, what the hell, man! Watch where you're going! We're right here!"
Dude turns around, sees three women, laughs derisively, and says "Wow, calm down."
I thought my co-worker was going to pull him out of his car and start beating his ass right there in the street. We would have sworn that nobody saw a thing.
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:18:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I witnessed that I'd probably deadpan tell the court he was trying to take steal your bags or something. Self defence.
Hate assholes like that.
bleaklymorose ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:33:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
take a chill pill
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. Calm down.
pizzaforthewin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:13:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes exactly!! Sometimes I get a little angry at dark souls 2 then my brother shouts at me "CALM DOWN DUDE" and it pisses me off
Paulitical ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:11:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calmer than you are...
joeglen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you just take it easy??
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chill
5a_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Take a chill pill
SkyF1y ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just used by people who make others angry and act like they don't know what happened or like the others are the ones being offensive.
P1: Uses P2's whatever without permission. P2: Wtf man I didn't tell you to do that. P1: calm down man P2: insert a lot of rage
erilol ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:02:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience online, this phrase is usually uttered by an uptight asshole who wants to start shit and "win" by looking all chill.
LoL/DotA example:
Troll: i wanna play top [lane]
Me: I'm first pick and I already called it.
Troll: well ur probally fucking bad scrub. let me top.
Me: fuck off, I'm top
Troll: whoa chill out. it's just a fuckin game dude
[Me now looks like a rager by association with troll's comment]
Strontoria ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:05:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, people who are angry and get angrier at being called out are people with anger issues. But then again, I've never heard this used on someone who wasn't angry.
EarnestDeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Clam down!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You givin' me attitude?!"
I AM NOW, FUCKER
jellyshoes11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend says this all the time, it's maddening.
kartuli78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That one is all about who says it and the way they say it.
If some dude in a bar pushes me and I'm about to go off on him and he says, "dude calm down" I'm gonna lose it
Same scenario, but my girlfriend asks me to calm down, I probably will.
HeraticXYZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DOZERDOY, you are causing a raucous! You just need to caaalm dooown.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bro calm down
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
alternatively "why are you angry/ so angry"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When my husband tells me to calm down it immediately makes me flip out. :/ never has a phrase had such an opposite effect of its intent on humans than this one.
Fuckthisfuckyoumothe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you get worked up about that, you may have anger issues and may not have seemed calm, causing the request from your friend.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's fun to do to a person you're arguing with, same with calling them ma'am if it's a dude, and sir if it's a woman. Nothing gets people more pissed off.
GV18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also "why are you annoyed?" I wasn't until you asked me 50 times.
SUCK_A_DICK_PLEB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I always yell at peaceful, calm people to calm down. That makes sense
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:03 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See also "smile!" shouted as an aggressive command.
2le ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:49:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never say this to someone that's high, especially hallucinogens.
axearm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:09:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you partner is pissed, and you are getting pissed too, and you decide, "screw it, lets have a FIGHT", this is the phrase you use.
Calm down has never effectively calmed an agitated person down.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:07:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which doesn't really make sense to me. If my girlfriend is getting all heated about something and I say "you need to calm down" it means "you are getting disproportionately upset about this and I'm not putting up with that shit". I'm not gonna be bitched at for no good reason, lady!
goomy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:40:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ugh this reminds me of this one time that I needed to get shots because a stray cat bit me.
doc: 'so was the cat under observation or a street cat?'
me: 'a street cat, we took it to the vet after cause it was hurt'
doc: 'so it's under observation'
me: 'yeah, but he was abandoned in the street'
doc: 'but I asked if he was under observation'
me: 'well you asked if he was a street cat and he is, but he's at the vet now'
doc: 'woah calm down'
me: 'I AM CALM YOU PIECE OF SHIT DON'T YOU TELL ME TO BE CALM I'M CALM AS FUCK'
jackwald ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:49:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna upvote this comment to infinity
Quack445 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:04:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use that phrase and the word "Think" often when my friends are frustrated. If you pause and think, you will realize just how overemotional you are. Hate the phrase as much ad you want, but if someone tells you to calm down, think about why you are being angry
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That would not work on me. Not in a hundred years.
Telling me to calm down would work better than telling me to think. 'Calm down' is implying I'm angry, or at least irritated, which I probably am so I'd have no beef with that. Telling me to 'think' is pretty much you calling me an idiot.
Quack445 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you thinking clearly when you are furious? I know I'm not. Being told to think helps me realize the pointlessness of my anger
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not. I know I'll be thinking less clearly after that though
i_ANAL ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:57:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh I like to do that intentionally. Having an argument and say "calm down" to make them more angry, straight faced. It's winning. A little curl of a smile too. I work with some real assholes so have to take pleasure in this
shesallover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:36 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The issue is the "real" assholes do this too.
i_ANAL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:51 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit I could read between those lines :P
If people want to be racist (yes I do work with such people) and I call them inbred fucks whilst remaining calm, I feel no guilt at all winding them up further.
octobersons ยท 5308 points ยท Posted at 14:47:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother I.."
[deleted] ยท 4745 points ยท Posted at 15:58:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I took a human development class to fulfill a psych requirement. I did it over the summer and I was the only non-parent in the class. The first 4 weeks were concerned with development from age 0 days-5 years.
The professor, a woman with a PhD in psychology, couldn't get even a sentence out without someone raising their hand and saying "Well, I have a two year old and as his mother, I don't think what you said is correct because...." After 3 classes, the prof put a ban on "discussion of the lecture" because she couldn't even teach because all these people thought that just because their hellchild wasn't meeting milestones, the theory was wrong.
EDIT: Worse than the parents who were disregarding theory because of delayed children were parents who used the course to brag about their advanced children. "Babies don't have object permanence till 3 years of age? Well my daughter is three months old and she already has object permanence! My 3 year old can read already!"
[deleted] ยท 3934 points ยท Posted at 16:18:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would literally have a fucking stroke from stress in that class.
SSV_Kearsarge ยท 2825 points ยท Posted at 17:01:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, the good ole stress fap... Probably a bad idea in front of all those mothers
AlbertaBoundless ยท 551 points ยท Posted at 17:09:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Better on than in, they already have kids.
NomadofExile ยท 192 points ยท Posted at 17:13:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But you know they put out...
AlbertaBoundless ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:14:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And they're most likely batshit insane. Don't stick your dick in crazy, man.
NomadofExile ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:32:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can stick your dick in crazy. Just give crazy a wrong name and use a burner cell phone.
AlbertaBoundless ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:37:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless she shares a class with you. Been there, done that. It's not a good move.
sour_cereal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:17:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or unless she's going on a European trip with you as part of a band. Just finished being there, doing that.
AlbertaBoundless ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How many flutes were involved?
sour_cereal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:52:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just a piccolo!
P.s. I'm from SK. Assuming you're from Alberta haha
AlbertaBoundless ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, where do you go if there's a tornado in Regina? Just kidding man, the Riders are bitching.
sour_cereal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:50:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just gotta sit back, crack open a cold one, and hope it doesn't knock the trees over on Prince of Wales drive again haha. And thank god I'm not a football fan, because I'd be really depressed by the Riders. How're the Stamps doing?
AlbertaBoundless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If the Stamps are out, the Riders are my favourite. Haha. Right now though the stamps are 1st in the west division.
JabberJauw ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:52:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And they let you nut inside.
kb_lock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because they have, doesn't mean they do.
wlee1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they put out babies :(
ladymacbeth260 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read that as "batter on than in".
bizcat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe you came on my mom.
AlbertaBoundless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, she was the exception, son.
Uyersuyer ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:48:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the ol reddit faparoo
Fastriedis ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:13:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hold my semen, I'm going in!
Varnishedchrome ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:33:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother I think public masturbation is perfectly normal and we shouldn't shame people into hiding their natural urges.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:40:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the sight of engorged male genitalia to a new mother that doesn't belong to the father of her most recent child will turn most women catatonic. Unless it's a full moon.
reddcolin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:07:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol'd IRL
thatothersir225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or good... You know, whatever you're into. ;)
jayesanctus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends how it plays out, doesn't it?
BrokenNumbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rules are meant to be broken, bro.
JayofLegend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like OP's arms?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was on Bang Bros website last night. Pretty sure that would be the BESt idea ever.
DragonBonecrusher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Single mothers, on the other hand...
JuggernautV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even better frustration masturbation
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother, I think its a great idea.
Ifreakinglovetrucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/switcharoo
just_redditing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes the stress fap, the best thing to do before a test or an interview...
Or during.
JayofLegend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But a good idea to break your arms
ImAStruwwelPeter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Assert dominance by waving it around and maintaining eye contact. For added effect, lick your lips aggressively.
workaccount42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:58:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck that sounds terrifying.
LucidicShadow ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:07:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. They can smell your cum.
Uncle_Skeeter ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:19:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, some people in some classes literally won't shut the fuck up.
You can't learn from the professor how to take a line integral? LEARN IT FROM THE TEXTBOOK YOU FUCKIN' TWAT.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:38:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm doing a nursing degree and the amount of former nursing assistants who pull that shit Is ridiculous. Yes your 5 years of experience is useful but it's not really applicable to the litigation process used in a sectioning.
Also you just replied to two of my comments within the space of 2 mins. Spoo key key key.
estrangedeskimo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:04:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite guy is "pretends to ask for clarification but is really just showing off how smart he is" guy.
"Oh, so you would use a conservative vector field in this completely irrelevant and obscure problem that has very little to do with this class?"
I_want_hard_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, that's a terrible idea."
newloaf ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:01:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I advise that you do not take this class or even similar classes.
xjustsmilebabex ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:39:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have the same feeling as a biologist in ANY psych class I have to take. The girl next to me read one article about evolution and would misquote the theory constantly. One day I just couldn't anymore, she got told in the middle of class that every single thing she's said about evolution has been directly contradictory to the real science behind it. She didn't sit next to me anymore after that.
thunnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now everyboday
Have you heard?
321Cheers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stress induced aneurysm.
rdouma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean figuratively.
;-)
Notmyrealname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I would literally _______"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've never yelled "Shut the hell up" in a lecture?
bugatti420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I took a sociology class last year because I needed something for my 3rd period.
Worst decision.
DarknessRain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would be laughing my ass off and trying to find subtle ways to egg it on.
civilian11214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, its not time for rowing class, you twit. You literally suck at language.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The meanings changed you autist
Dont_Ban_Me_Br0 ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 19:55:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine being an antinatalist who believes that people who have children are worse than rapists. I would have snapped and started killing them.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:24:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not entirely sure what you mean
Linearts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:29:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think /u/Dont_Ban_Me_Br0 is saying that dont_ban_me_br0 an antinatalist and thus would want to kill /u/sakana-no-ko's classmates if dont_ban_me_br0 were in sakana-no-ko's place in that class. (Couldn't think of a non-awkward, non-ambiguous way to phrase that sentence.)
Dont_Ban_Me_Br0 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 21:29:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure which part you found unclear.
phaqueue ยท 1378 points ยท Posted at 17:28:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was in an adult degree program, and this frustrated me to no end sometimes...
Yes - I understand you're 40 years old, and a parent and etc and I'm a 25 year old "kid" - but stop acting like I haven't actually had any life experiences in the 25 years I've been alive... I've worked full time jobs in a variety of fields, I've been a soldier (a medic) in the US Army... Just because you have lived longer doesn't mean I have no valid input...
SO many of those people in adult degree programs...
Curls0412 ยท 1678 points ยท Posted at 19:05:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh my parents do this all the time. "Oh you're just a college student with no real life experience. Oh, you researched some place we've never been and want to go there? And saved up the money? That's preposterous. How would you, a person younger than us, understand how to plan for a trip somewhere? Though I know nothing about where you're going I've deemed it unsafe."
Ireland. I'm going to Ireland.
[deleted] ยท 1167 points ยท Posted at 19:52:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You enjoy the fuck out of Ireland.
Edit:Damn people, you guys really like Ireland. Who doesn't, though?
darkwing_duck_87 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 20:45:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope he enjoys the fuck in Ireland.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:16:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ _เฒ
This always happens to me.
Stygma ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:01:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking enjoying the fucking fuck out of fucking Ireland.
JackLegJosh ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:04:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pro tip: hop on over to the Ireland sub and ask those kind folks if they want you to bring anything from the States over!
garysully1986 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:01:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh Yeah, we love American candy!
bluegreyscale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:13:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This seems like a great way to get whiskey.
Trade it for American candy.
JackLegJosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A terrible trade, but I'd take it any day.
NapoleonTroubadour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Snickers saga rolls on
Curls0412 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:59:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will! Thank you :)
caelum19 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:24:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Decided on a county?
(Sent very slowly from rural Kerry)
Curls0412 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:40:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not yet! It's happening next year so I haven't planned a bunch.
Dikaneisdi ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:00:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever you do, don't order an 'Irish Car Bomb' or a 'Black and Tan' in a bar there. It will not end well.
Curls0412 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:19:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Noted.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pick Wicklow! It's gorgeous and a quick train ride up to Dublin.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey - How do you make a one-armed Kerry man fall out of a tree?
You wave at him.
caelum19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha.
How do you get a Kerry man on the roof?
Tell him drink's on the house.
frazaod ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:17:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One time in Dublin, Ireland enjoyed the fuck out of me.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:20:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's probably already murdered
CptAustus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:46:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You enjoy all the fucks out in Ireland.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:18:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just got back from a family reunion in Ireland. Enjoyed the fuck out of it.
Meatslinger ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 21:55:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And try not to get killed. Place is HELLA unsafe.
deadly_penguin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:07:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know right, all those leprechauns and jockeys are just the worst aren't they?
MulciberTenebras ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's them motherfucking BANSHEES
Double-Portion ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you from NorCal?
Meatslinger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:44:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. That was just a joke that backfired; I was trying to play on how the poster above said that his parents automatically assumed that whatever place he was going to was unsafe.
Double-Portion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh darn, that area has a stereotype about using the word "hella" and I was looking forward to making a really dumb inter-regional rivals joke.
Meatslinger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to disappoint. I'm Canadian, if that gives you anything to work with.
Double-Portion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, how aboot you say sorry again? Haha cheers!
Meatslinger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a proud-raised Albertan, otherwise known as "colder Texas"; we say "a-bout" and only apologize half as often, fuck you very much (sorry).
SuperAlbertN7 ยท 222 points ยท Posted at 20:02:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ireland is crazy dangerous, those gnomes are vicious.
Seanachain ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:23:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irish fairy tales are the most terrifying. "He looked at them again, and perceived that there wore about twenty little men in it, and there was not a man at all of them higher than about three feet or three feet and a half, and some of them were grey, and seemed very old. He looked again, but he could not make out what was the heavy thing they were carrying until they came up to him, and then they all stood round about him. They threw the heavy thing down on the road, and he saw on the spot that it was a dead body."
octopoddle ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:11:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And he looked again, and he was just pissed, and it was his mates Gary and Donal and Fishface, and they were pissed too and so was the body which was really just Michael who had passed out.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:25:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leprechauns. The gnomes all live in Scandinavia.
SuperAlbertN7 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:53:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We don't have any gnomes we have nisser.
VAPossum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The gnomes all live in the gardens of Florida retirees.
the_last_fartbender ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:32:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No Ireland is perfectly safe... It is really...
You guys just remember to respect people's mothers you hear? It's a form of greeting over there.
When in Limerick, make sure you respond to a greeting of "How'r'ya sham" or "Aboy de kiid" with the respectful phrase of "you're Ma"
TravisE_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:00:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh come on, they prefer the term 'Irish' not gnomes
ugottoknowme2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've also heard reports of Leprechaun gangbangers that will steal all your gold.
1920sRadio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw tha documentary where they steal the short guy's gold and he kills everybody. Seems pretty dangerous.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leprechauns. I believe gnomes are from one of the Nordic countries.
toaster_in_law ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leprechauns are worse
Sam_MMA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the faeries!!!
zoso1012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The wee bastards.
Girlinhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Gnomes" isn't politically correct you know. His name is "Jeff" and he has a family!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking gnomes.
lightwell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leprechauns asshole.
Satans__Secretary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that was Dun Morogh.
xelveki ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:07:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As I've gotten older, and continued to disagree with my parents, the bar has risen.
"When you get out of high school."
"When you get a job."
"While you're in college."
"Once you own your own house."
"Once you're a father."
Iwasborninafactory_ ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 23:38:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the thing. Life is like climbing a ladder. I'm reading comments around here and laughing my ass off at people in their early twenties bowin' up like their an adult now. Yeah. Right.
I don't think people get it until about 30. That's when you look around, you're 30, you're married, you've got a house, you've got kids, and you still remember exactly what it's like to be 12.
Helenarth ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:56:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, you're 30 but apparently you haven't learned yet how not to sound like a condescending and self-righteous ass.
Iwasborninafactory_ ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 00:58:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I was 30. And when you're as old as me, you'll realize I am not. You guys are hilarious.
VAPossum ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:55:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate the idea that you're supposed to hit your 30's with the social uniform of a house, kids, and spouse all in order. I mean, if that's what a person wants, go for it, but not having those things doesn't mean you're any better for it.
Iwasborninafactory_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hang on one second. In terms of being an "adult," making a conscious decision to do or not do these things count pretty equally. Just don't make the mistake of being 25, and thinking, "Oh, my asshole parents have no idea what it's like," and stop and realize, they were 25 once, and they remember it like it was yesterday. They've just got another 25 years of experience on top of that. I kind of understand when teenagers and children don't "get" their parents, but when they're 25, they either need to be understanding their parents or disconnecting from their parents.
There's another mistake not to make: Make sure you don't go thinking every 50 year old is an adult. A lot of them are still children, but the catch 22 is that if you were raised by them, you probably are too, so I guess take that one with a grain of salt. :)
thirdegree ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:39:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Things change in 25 years. They know what it was like to be 25 25 years ago. Which is a fantastic point of reference, and a valuable resource, but by no means gives them perfect, infallible knowledge of what it's like now.
Iwasborninafactory_ ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 04:57:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure. OK, special snowflake. You're great.
thirdegree ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:11:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't realize that knowing that things change over time made me a special snowflake, that's neat! I figured that was kinda common knowledge.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:21:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that shit. I hope you have a great time in Ireland.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:21:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IRELAND IS FULL OF LEPRECHAUNS AND UNICORNS DUDE. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE SCI FI CHANNEL MOVIES. THOSE ARE THE TWO THINGS YOU GOTTA STAT AWAY FROM. YOU ARE A CHILD WHO DOESNT KNOW THE DANGER. YOUR PARENTS ARE RIGHT
Curls0412 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:01:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. I've completely forgotten about the leprechauns and unicorns.
That's it, my parents were right. Trip is being called off.
jamesthunder88 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:30:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm learning a new language in preparation for my trip. Dedication bro.
Themiffins ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:14:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watch out for the nuns.
KazPart2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:37:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
don't listen to warnings about leprechauns. They all went to space.
Slatara ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:32:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am Irish and I love stupidly safe my country is. No poisonous animals, low crime rate, stable if slightly incompetent government, no natural disasters of any real severity and the guards are usually pure sound lads.
PonchoTron ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:52:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ireland rocks. If you visit Wexford lets go for a drink :D
misssusanstohelit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your town is fantastic. Loved Wexford. :)
PonchoTron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:54:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! Great place to be :D
Toooby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:11:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leprechauns are dangerous.
IAlwaysSpeakTheTruth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:18:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude... Bro, Ireland? The people are wicked.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:28:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa Whoa you get could like caught up in the IRA!!! Or I don't know meet Gerard Butler, less dangerous but he''ll beat the pussy up from what I hear.
bassrose ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:50:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck your parents and go in Ireland, trust me. Met some Irish dudes online 5 years ago. Got pissed off last December at work and decided to take a vacation. Bought a plane ticket and an emergency passport, then called my parents to let them know I'm going to stay with dudes I met online in Ireland in two weeks. You can imagine how that went over. Of course I went anyways and it ended up being the best week of my life! So moral of the story, screw your parents and do it anyways!
Curls0412 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds fun! Good advice. Thank you
ladymacbeth260 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try explaining this to my catholic family, even though i have ensure proper care for my children, I am not allowed to go away without them, motherfuckers i need a break too.
GraharG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
irelands nice, enjoy your visit
hariador ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, you're parents may very well be wrong. But just remember (You actually won't because that's how this works) you don't actually know half the shit you think you know, you simply lack the perspective of having lived long enough.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what fox news makes out of old people.
cartgatherer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were the same way. I went to Norway.
When I got back, my Dad was asking me the routine "How was your trip, the flight, the food, etc" Then he asked me, "So do they speak Finnish in Finland or what?"
Chem1st ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still get the whole "Remember to..." from my dad. I have to take my car in for repairs. "Yes dad, I know to ask them to check the fluids, yes I'm getting the oil changed, yes...please can we just talk about something else."
benzooo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be waiting for you...bwahahaha
Curls0412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Should I be worried?
benzooo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha nah, not at all. I am Irish though!
SparticusIAm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to Morocco for study aboard. My parents pointed out it was unsafe. I pointed out the crime rates were lower than were my college was.
Check mate
Curls0412 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My college is in the safest county in my state so i don't know if I can do that :/
SparticusIAm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
probably still a low crime rate
iwriteyoursecrets ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you. I was 19 when me and my best friend went to Vancouver to see the Olympics (we're from the U.S. so still the same landmass). We saved up and did it as cost-effectively as we could (both in college then), but my parents wee so supportive and asked nicely interested questions. I'm sorry your parents have a hard time grasping that you are now making decisions like a mature adult, but you got this. :)
Curls0412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
legotech ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 46. I've been to 6 years in the USNavy, I've been to Moscow and Tokyo. My dad is STILL not sure I'm ready to go to Spokane Washington next week.
skylos2000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to Italy next summer (yay!) and my dad told to "watch out over there. They aren't civilized like we are you might get snatched up murdered or raped."
Curls0412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Italy sounds fun!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T DO IT BRO THEY GOT LEOPARDCONS!
Nomikos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bring an umbrella.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ireland, the dangerous Hawaii of Europe.
ramblingnonsense ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It'd be one thing if you were planning to go to Somalia or something, but Ireland?
Curls0412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know! Ireland is pretty chill. I'm surprised they don't want me to go too.
ALinkToTheCats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. For me it's New York. Except in my case part of her reasoning was "you shouldn't go on a trip if your BOYFRIEND can't go!!!!!"
It's been a fun week in New York and I'm heading home tomorrow :)
ZombyTed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was a high school scuba class that ended with a trip to Bermuda or the Bahamas, something like that. Had my own job and money for it. Dad talked me out of it, "you've never been good at swimming" or something like that. Yeah, thanks dad, that's the point of the class.
Been snorkeling a few times now, fucking loved it. Really wish I'd taken that trip.
CorkytheCat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a galwegian, I pre-emptively welcome you to Ireland. Enjoy it, and we'll be happy to have ya
Curls0412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
SixGunGorilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently Ireland has great onion rings. Im not really adding anything to the conversation, but I want to know if it's true.
Curls0412 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll report back with the knowledge after the trip
oi_rohe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't you ever heard of the IRA?
Mama2lbg2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to Jamaica. The " tour bus delivered safely to a perfect resort " Jamaica. My mother in law flipped her shit thinking we were going to be mugged daily , raped nightly , and forced to inject marijuana into our veins in between
Ireland would have sent her to the hospital Haha
Two_Coins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have a fantastic trip, and remember, never ask for a "ride".
TheLollrax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you know, Ireland is 91st out of 218 for highest murder rate. Oh wait no, I'm sorry, that's the U.S. Ireland is 171st.
Curls0412 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It gets worse when you find out I live in Chicago.
Curls0412 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to school in the suburbs though. But living in Chicago
macphile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watch out for those rape gangs!
corgidogmom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ireland is very safe. Have a great time! The music is on the west coast so go there.
Curls0412 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the tip!
Lowbacca1977 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had an issue a while back with my mom on my case packing for a trip, because she had issues with what I was/wasn't bringing until my dad finally said that i probably know what I'm doing, since I'd traveled internationally a few times and she never has
Thanmandrathor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My MIL does this. Especially regarding child rearing. Listen, lady, I have three kids and you only had the one. I've done this shit more times than you.
insertkarma2theleft ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go
crawfish2000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:06:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just be careful in Ireland; they don't take too kindly to drunks and leprechaun hunters.
The_Real_LadyVader ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have fun!! My husband and I just got back from driving the southern half of it. Best trip we've ever taken.
w00kiee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watch out for those dangerous leprechauns. They'll cut your ears off.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ireland is amazing and I am going back as soon as possible.
trypsinizer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ugh this. and it's not even generational. I had an ex who was just like that and there was only a 3 month age difference between us. After we graduated college, he started his career/full-time job and I went back to graduate school. Whenever he'd try to talk to me about a problem at work he would always end with "but you're just a student and you couldn't understand the dynamics of the workplace".
sorry that was my tangent.
fuck these guys.
misssusanstohelit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:20:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'll have a great time. The people are super nice and helpful. And visit the Cliffs of Moher if you get a chance. They're ridiculously beautiful. :)
10platesandadagger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I didn't figure out how to do thing until I was age."
H_is_for_Human ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excuse the rant I'm going to have here for a second, but this reminded me of something that happened recently.
My mom drove to a different state to visit a dog breeder recently and is kind of notoriously anxious in general and a lot of this manifests with driving, especially in unfamiliar areas and when cars are moving quickly.
Around 8am I get a phone call from her, answer it, and she's immediately scream-crying into the phone that she's lost and had to pull over and all these maniacs are driving too fast and she's in a "national park" parking lot off of interstate "41 or 17 or 189 or 72 or something I don't know." She then asks for helping getting back to her hotel. I point out that I have no idea where she is, so it's difficult to give directions when I don't know the starting point. I further point out that she is calling me using a brand new smart phone which has GPS and google maps.
She tells me she is "having a panic attack and dying" and berates me for "not helping."
I log into her gmail account (my e-mail is the "recovery" account for hers), use that to access her device location history, and get an approximate location, then tell her I can give her directions as soon as she gets to an intersection so I know exactly where she is. I calm her down a bit, tell her I'm happy to stay on the phone until she gets to her destination (she's only like 15 minutes away).
She then gets out of the car, walks half a mile down the road to some sort of rest stop / convenience store, and starts talking to some random wisconsinite about how to get to her hotel. While I'm on the phone. While I'm looking at fucking satellite imagery of her location. She insists on putting me on speaker phone to talk to this very kind convenience store attending who regrettably has a very thick accent that I can barely understand. She also purchases a paper map (those still exist apparently), and has him draw directions on it. He gives her directions which are acceptable but still kind of stupid because there's an easier way per google fucking maps, but I'm done arguing. She spends close to half an hour in this store, and ends up talking to this gas station attendant about his fucking nephew who maybe spent 20 whole minutes 5 years ago driving through a town that is roughly close to the town she lives in.
She then walks back to car, insists on having me stay on the phone to give her directions (what was the point of the hand drawn fucking map then? I could have done that an hour ago!) and then gets upset, starts crying again when I call a street by a different name than the one the gas station attendant did because it's both a county highway and an interstate, and has another rant about the maniacs that drive too fast.
She finally arrives at her destination, intact, having turned what should have been a 20-30 minute trip into a two hour ordeal for herself, me, and the gas station attendant.
Two days later she did the exact same thing on the way out of the state. When she pulled over to ask a fucking roadside antique store owner in the middle of nowhere how to get to her hometown I told her that if she actually wants my help to call back once she is in the car and ready to move.
Yesterday, I get told that taking the public transportation in my hometown after 9pm is unsafe and that I'll get mugged. When I point out that it's not and I'm not going to pay for a cab anyway and I've demonstrated better survival skills than she has by virtue of knowing how to use a smart phone and not stopping to talk to random fucking strangers, she breaks down in tears and asks why I can't just stay in (like what? all the time?) so she doesn't have to worry about me, because it's so stressful. I point out that in the future I could just not mention that I'm out of my apartment and will be taking the train back, at which point I get called ungrateful, she complains that "no one ever worries about me" and "why can't anyone ever worry about what makes me happy."
So, you know. Fun times.
Curls0412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow
Wonky_dialup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Careful there the Guinness is proper savage for your memory.
Keep slayin boi
Curls0412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got that reference!
tarion_914 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:22:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair, I've heard those people make a lot of car bombs.
cm3007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bro! Have fun! Welcome from Ireland xD
shesallover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:44 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got that about money.
I was cleaning out my parents fridge while visiting during college, and (admittedly) went off on them about how many containers of one type of food they had. Like... four jars of mayo, three mustard bottles, two pickled ginger, and a partridge in a pear tree...
And I lived in a big house with three separate "family units" who had their own food, and we managed to keep our kitchen clean and share condiments and cooking oil and seasoning and stuff...
Somehow I didn't understand what it was like to live in a house where ONE family consolidates groceries and meals, Because I was a broke person in college, Or whatever,
And in spite of hearing my whole life how I didn't understand money or handling money or worrying about money, now I was being told I didn't understand having money to buy food and that's why they had to waste so much rotting food piled behind seventeen jars of condiments and spices someone bought because they were on sale or whatever.
Curls0412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:40 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes me mad. I'm sorry.
muyoriginalken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:36 on August 19, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Went to 6 countries in Europe for a month. All first world countries. Ireland was hands down the best. Friendliest people, awesome scenery, awesome people, cool people. Did I mention I liked the people there?
Sceptile90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're not in Limerick or some parts of Dublin, you'll be completely safe.
kernunnos77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Make sure to tell them about your step-granny's Irish heritage while ordering a Potato Famine mixed drink.
Curls0412 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I'm not Irish at all and not trying to pretend. It's an educational trip :)
kernunnos77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was being extremely facetious. From what I gather, Irish people hate when Americans say stuff like, "My great-grandsomething had an Irish-sounding name, therefor I'm practically Irish, too!"
Ordering an Irish Car Bomb or whatever its called is in very poor taste and will NOT be met with smiles.
Definitely have an awesome trip. Probably don't kiss the Blarney Stone, though - that's either a good way to get Herpes, or a TheOnion article I thought was real.
Curls0412 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Noted.
sublimemongrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol I was not expecting Ireland at the end of your story.
Curls0412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was not expecting their opposition to Ireland either :(
drtbg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 30 and still get treated this way by my parents.
It's humiliating.
We don't speak much anymore.
Curls0412 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm hoping it stops once they realize I didn't get abducted by leprechauns.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't lick the stone. Do NOT lick it!
Curls0412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh....idk what that means but I'll remember not to.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The Blarney Stone
There's this thing about it making you clever or lucky, or someshit, if you lick it, so a lot of tourists thinks it's something they just have to do in order to get the full experience of their trip. Kind of like how tourists just have to see Big Ben when in London, The Statue of Liberty in NY, and such.
But the thing is; the locals piss on that stone to fuck with the tourists :D
Curls0412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Noted. Will not lick the piss-stone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Curls0412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the heads up!
kahurangi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just take a snickers with you, you'll be right.
tortillacat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I am 19 and told my mom I'm thinking of going to Dublin with my friends (so another country than mine). She said "cool" and did not care at all. I think she just wants me out of the house as much as possible.
Curls0412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents are stuck between wanting me to leave and then getting freaked out when I do.
tortillacat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:59:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just go and then they'll be happy as soon as you're out the door!
mloofburrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to Korea over the last summer (South, not North) and my mother freaked out about how I was going to get caught by the Communists and never get to come back to the U.S. Wat?
spm615 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DO IT. 2 years ago I left one job and had a week free until I started the next one. At 2am I bought a ticket to Dublin and was on a plane by 6. My parents called me 10 minutes before the plane took off and both tried to convince me not to go. It was one of the best experiences of my life.
Highlights: The Dublin hop on/hop off bus tour. Try to find buses that are narrated by the actual guides though, not the recordings.
Giant's causeway in Northern Ireland (convert a few bucks into pounds for that trip though)
Black taxi tour in Belfast
Meeting people in the hostel rooms
O Neills pub, Dublin. Have some lamb stew and guiness in a 250 year old bar
Oh and Temple Bar is a trap. Go have a drink there so you can say you've done it, then promptly find a bar that doesn't charge you 8 euros a drink.
BigBiker05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irish people die there every day, I'd be careful.
AmberArmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/NT5fvDh Have you seen the police cars though?
Curls0412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They look like angry, souped up ice cream trucks to me.
AmberArmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm far too tired to be getting angry over a stranger on the internet
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where in Ireland? I've always wanted to live in Ireland. I mean, those rocky valleys? Come on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard the IRS lives there
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Newsflash. Your parents were 20 something at some point in their life and they didn't believe their parents when they told them they didn't know shit from shinola. Your parents now realize their parents were right and someday you will as well.
That's just the circle of life, brah.
melifer78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too! Some day....
TinglyNaughtyBits ยท 729 points ยท Posted at 19:15:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel for you, I was a TA for a bio lab at my college when i was 19, and when my students (a quarter of whom were in their 30's) found out I was 19 flipped a shit. 2 of em dropped the course immediately.
The following class 2 of the other 'adults' weren't listening whatsoever, and talking over me. Before I could say anything or tell them to leave, one of the other remaining adult students just screamed at them to 'shut the fuck up, he's obviously teaching us for a reason and if you dumbasses would listen, you'd know he's actually trying and knows what he's talking about!' and that was that.
Kitty_Burglar ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 19:54:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I swear, adults are some of the most immature people I know.
TinglyNaughtyBits ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 22:21:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Working in customer service has reaffirmed that belief for me.
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 22:47:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My common goto phrase in retail was "I hate people"... Actually, I still use it, but I started using it in retail.
Retail broke me.
snowe2010 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:13:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I use the phrase, "People are the worst human beings" and "Humans are terrible drivers".
Nainma ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:29:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And so begins the cycle...
SugarCoatedThumbtack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:10:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate society but love humanity
4thekarma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:59:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People, what a bunch of bastards.
RustyGuns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything In the service industry will break you. That's why I went to university. There is no fucking way I could handle that shit again.
famousninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep tellin' ya, this would be the greatest job in the world if it weren't for the fucking customers."
FrostingsVII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:26:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Working in customer service led me to seven years of depression from the ages of 23 to 30.
No laughs here friend, only feels.
BipedSnowman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kids, unless they're really little, politely follow along behind their parents. Sometimes they're laughing it running, but no problem. Teenagers gossip loudly, but they almost always smile back and are friendly. But older middle aged people are always grumpy.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:36:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After a point, most people stop improving and start settling into their ways and prejudices.
Being an adult means you've had more time to grow, but you've also had more time to become an asshole.
omegatrox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:04:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You are a flamboyant fruit cake." - adult
civilian11214 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 23:06:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sincerely hope that dude got a good grade.
TinglyNaughtyBits ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 00:37:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She did, and not just because of that situation. She put in a ton of effort and was one of my best students in 3 years of TAing
misfit_hog ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 23:45:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good on that other guy. - I am an "mature student" and all my TA's are younger then me. I listen to them, because obviousely they have taken the course I am taking right now before me, they know what is going on, they are farther advanced in their degrees. - I mean, it's not as if they are trying to tell me how to live my life, they are just teaching me in those courses. - which they are more knowledgable in then me!
IChooseRedBlue ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 01:04:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A while back we knew a college lecturer who was giving some talk to various managers from the local council or something. Guys that thought they were important, anyway. The talk was about the importance of science, of taking science into account in decision making. It was aimed at these bureaucratic types but the public could attend so we went along to support our friend.
Anyway, just sitting at the back you could tell the council managers were all nodding and "hem"ing and "ah"ing like they knew all this stuff anyway and were just sort of condescending to agree with this unimportant minion who was talking to them. It must have been obvious to our friend giving the talk as well. So he stopped his talk and asked my three year old son to come out to the front with him. Knowing our family pretty well he then asked my son what gravity was. My son had a rough grasp of the concept and explained it as best a three year old could. Then the lecturer turned to the audience and said "This toddler knows more than you lot. You know why? Because he doesn't think he knows everything and so he's open to learning, he wants to learn. You're not interested in learning, you just want to impress everyone with how learned you appear to be. And so you're dumber than a three year old."
There were a lot of red faces in that audience but I noticed there were a lot fewer heads nodding and a lot less hemming and ahing after that. Maybe they managed to learn something.
TinglyNaughtyBits ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:13:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome!
Pointing out that he doesn't know everything was one of the first things the professor I worked for would mention to his students. He also made sure the TA's were aware they didn't know everything either.
IChooseRedBlue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:36 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was impressed with his balls, effectively insulting the guys he was there to talk to. He was totally right and I was glad to see those pompous arseholes get put in their places but it must have taken guts to do it. I'm guessing that was a source of income he just lost (don't know if academics get paid for that sort of thing or not).
Helios-Apollo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that kid's name?
Albert Einstein.
le-albatross ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:59:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went through that when I first became a TA, because I was obviously younger than most of the students, and gasp a female. They thought it was a joke that I was teaching... so I became a total fucking bitch; told my students that I was in the TA position because I knew a hell of a lot more about the subject than they did, and probably ever will.
I don't know if that statement was even true, but it worked. I had no more problems with that set of students, and since then, I've adopted a commanding attitude that doesn't even warrant that disclosure.
sticklebat ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:19:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's all about how you carry yourself! It doesn't matter how competent you are, if you don't act confidently (and sometimes commandingly) then people will see weakness or start to make assumptions. One of the first rules of teaching is to start out strict and a hardass and only ease up once you have their respect and attention.
Of course, if you're incompetent then it'll only forestall the inevitable lack of respect.
TinglyNaughtyBits ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my case I stayed the strict, hardass all throughout my 3 years, I actually had a reputation going.
One of the best feelings as a TA (and I'm sure for teachers in general) was when I had 2 of my students get a hold of me a year later to thank me. Apparently my hardassedness is what prepared them for things beyond their first semester.
sticklebat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I slowly drop the act by halfway through the year, sometimes earlier. I don't actually like being inflexible with my students and I don't think it's productive or conducive to a constructive classroom environment beyond a certain point. I like laughter and a good bit of fun in my classroom, and I like that my students are comfortable asking me for extensions when they need it; but in order to have all those things and still be productive they first need to know what's acceptable and what isn't, and to be quiet and attentive when I need them to be. It's hard to cultivate that without being strict, but once it's established I find I can ease up and they don't lose it, so long as you've earned their respect.
I teach high school, though, which is very different from college. I was also strict all semester when I TA'd in grad school. College kids are less sensitive and more independent than high schoolers. I never had to deal with the age thing, though; since I was a grad student I was older than all but a few of my students and I came from more of a default position of authority.
meglolz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:52:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm being trained to be a supervisor at an event venue. I am fully prepared to be asked "where is your supervisor" and then scoffed at when I explain that I am the supervisor.
TinglyNaughtyBits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha, oh god I hate that question too. At a previous job I'd fill in for the supervisor on occasion, and a how much lip I'd get from the other employees was unbelievable.
famousninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in a call centre and occasionally I'd do floor support/supervisor shifts, especially on late shifts. Telling people that I normally am a supervisor and the only reason I'm on the phone is because it's so busy normally shut them up.
edifyyo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was that student successful in your class?
validworldwide ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:07:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He responded to someone else that she got a good grade regardless of the outburst. She was a good student who actually put effort in.
TinglyNaughtyBits ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She wound up with one of the higher averages in my class, and I think overall in the course. She'd come to office hours, email for help, and actually ask questions. I admit she struggled a bit, but it was so satisfying helping her reach that big A-ha! Moment during one of our pre-exam study/Q&A sessions I'd put together in my free time for my class.
josh_the_misanthrope ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd give that guy gold.
TinglyNaughtyBits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well she passed remarkably well by her own merit, so I'd say its on par.
vuhleeitee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should have recorded that and played it again as necessary in later classes.
TinglyNaughtyBits ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, oh man that would've been great! Or even for my job.
AmericantDildont ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm far from 19, but the different respect levels that people give you when they assume your age are insane. I teach at a university, where I teach mostly first year students. They often come into class thinking I'm a similar age to them and act like shitheads, talking over me during a lecture, arriving late to class, etc. The second they find out I'm in my 30s, everything changes. Suddenly, I'm an expert and other students are yelling at others to be more respectful and my word is law, no debate whatsoever. I now just make sure to play two truths and a lie with them on the first day of class as an ice breaker and include my real age as one of the guesses just to let them know right away to respect my age. In the country I live in, age is very important to the amount of respect given.
pigeon_man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:31:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
any idea why it seems like a lot of people just out right dismiss the thoughts and opinions of those younger than them self?
soofuckingmetal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:37:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That man is a saint! I teach a night school program about CNC machining and I'm 22 now. I started at 20 and I still catch flak from the guys in class that are 20+ years older than me. So I ask them why they are here to learn this trade and most of the time they say they are sick of working part time jobs at restaurants. I don't even have to say another word because they realize how ridiculous their speculations are about my age.
Lowbacca1977 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love when someone in the class yells at someone causing trouble before I have to, cuz there's a lot I probably shouldn't say myself.
TinglyNaughtyBits ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, in this case she spoke my mind exactly...mainly just the shut the fuck up part.
crybannanna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See... You needed an adult to take charge. What did that teach you?
muyoriginalken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:11 on August 19, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's like the movie theater hero who tells someone to shut the fuck up in a loud, deep voice. Fuck Yeah.
alblaster ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 18:43:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's because they're secretly jealous of what you've accomplished or could accomplish. I feel like people who criticize younger people like this it's because they feel shitty about their own accomplishments and aren't happy with themselves so they project their frustration at younger people.
cultured_banana_slug ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:58:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. If you're both in the same place, yet person A is 20 years older, what does that say about person A?
They're 20 years behind.
Bound to make people insecure.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or they're starting a new hobby and have no idea what they're doing.
emmypem ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:30:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
completly agreee. I hate genius children for this reason!
DethNik ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:22:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand this type of thing. I always get: "you're young, you're not ALLOWED to be tired." Uh...I work six to eight hours a day in a fast paced environment that I have to commute to on top of all the other stuff that I've crammed into my life. I think I'm allowed to be tried. Even if I didn't have to deal with all that our it would still be annoying to hear.
ANEPICLIE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I was working 10-11 hour days with a commute of 1 hour on each end and I got this from some of the older employees. Like, I get they had a ton more obligations and every right to be tired, but just because I'm young doesn't mean I can't be tired.
I didn't aim to replace all my blood with coffee like some people in that office
Zoura ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:28:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can tell you it doesn't get any better though. I'm nearing 40 and we had our kid young. (we were 20) I still get told that "oh you're still a baby" by other parents whose kids are the same age as mine. It seems no matter how old you are, there's some fuck who thinks that you're an idiot because they've been here 10yrs longer than you and that makes them superior.
phaqueue ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:39:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I especially love the ones who are 40, and have say, worked in a factory their whole lives, and haven't really ever traveled away from home more than a few hours, but who have far more experience than I do,
even though I've been a lot of different places, worked a multitude of different jobs in different industries...
That extra 10 years of doing the same thing in the same place gives you so much more experience in how the world works right?
hungry4pie ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:34:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should definitely respond with "As a former medic in the US Army..." and continue with Rambo's monologue from the end of First Blood
encinoman58 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is some of the best Sylvester rambling.
mmm_unprocessed_fish ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:29:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had one of those in my undergrad program. She was a recovering addict, which, good for her for getting clean, but she seemed to lord her age and "experience" over us. The rest of us didn't have to try crack to figure out it's bad for us.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:47:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not just in those programs, they're everywhere.
That's why I tend to not bring up my age in most discussions, because I could have someone think an idea of mine is awesome, but as soon as they discover I'm a little more than half their age, it's like I just shit my pants.
Like, do these people not remember how they hated that shit too? Or did they just go along with it?
RegressToTheMean ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:02:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is so dumb. I'm 40 and I always try and surround myself with people who are smarter than me. I don't give a rat's fuck if you are 25 or 65. If you can bring value to the team you are more than welcome. I live by the saying, "If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:22:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I'm not saying every person 30+ is guilty of it, but there are quite a few people like that. And the same goes for people younger than myself. As long as it's a good plan and it can get shit done, then it's all good. Just like anyone can be stupid at any age, anyone can have really good ideas. It just takes time to find them.
RegressToTheMean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I know what you meant. I was just expressing frustration at the idiocy some of my peers exhibit. I imagine they suck at what they do and are afraid of being replaced by someone hungrier, smarter, and younger
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience most people just give you that look like you're some kind of puppy and they say "Oh you're just a young pup!" And then they just do what they want.
It's a bit annoying. I know most older adults are cool and I can have a meaningful conversation with most of the ones I interact with. It's the ones that look back at their high school and college years and say "Oh, I was a fucking moron when I was their age! Surely they must not know better either!"
Sorry. I just get a little heated with the matter. It tends to happen quite a bit.
bangorthebarbarian ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:16:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not fair. Every year in the Army counts as dog years. You were probably older.
P4TTYC4KES ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:11:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm starting school right now after 4 years in combat arms and a deployment to Afghanistan. I've been to more countries than schools half these kids I'm in classes with now and they look at me like I'm slow or behind the power curve for starting school at 23. Going to lose it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:34:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I'm in the same boat basically, and most of the kids I go to school with think I'm sort of wise and intelligent person who is also a black-belt ninja who could 1v1 John Rambo.
sunset7766 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:39:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It doesn't end in the adult degree programs. I am 26 and the same age as my boss' kids and I cannot get one word in without him cutting me off, waiving his hand in my face, and say something condescending beginning with, "Look, you're still very young..."
Helenarth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:00:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your boss sounds like a dick.
thatsabitraven ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:48:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a parent... I legitimately feel dumber now than I did when I was 25. Maybe it's because I'm a stay at home mother, so my life mostly revolves around the kids at the moment, but my brain doesn't get much of a workout.
I think I'll go do a sudoku.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Onya for being a medic.
ungr8ful_biscuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People probably shouldn't say things like that as it's just insulting... on the other hand, the older you get, the more you realize there's a lot about the world (and yourself) that you didn't understand when you were in your 20s.
fort_wendy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a line I will use. Thank you.
Swarlolz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've worked at a prison for 6 months and people tell me I don't know how terrible humanity can be.
It's a level 5 camp people, the worst of the worst go here.
Iamaredditlady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recently reconnected with someone I haven't seen since I was 18 and I'm currently 39.
He refuses to accept that I'm a full-blown woman and asks if I have a resume together yet and if I need him to 'call someone to give you a good reference'.
My career is fine so I can only assume he's weirded out by the fact that I'm basically his equal and don't need his input.
transpire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this copy pasta or am I experiencing some major dรฉjร vu?
DLottchula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And older fast food workers. I get 6 hours a week because "I really don't need the money". DON'T TELL ME WHAT I FUCKING NEED! I LOVE MONEY.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think my favorite is when I was essentially verbally bitch slapped in a History of Women course for being a white male instead of a Hispanic female.
phaqueue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love that idea... because you're not a woman you can't possibly want to learn about women's history?
I'm not Roman, but I love their history... I'm a white male American - guess that pretty much limits my history learning doesn't it?
Freaking people...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She was talking about a problem that exists and she claims has historically existed for a long time in the Hispanic community because of white society. I asked about root causes and the primary evidence for that claim (you know.. the things historians ask for in regards to proof), and I was essentially told that I "don't know nothen" about her people.
Look lady, I never claimed to know anything. I just want to make sure YOU know something and are not just regurgitating someone else's talking point.
Duphie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a good chance that when you are 40 you will look back on your 25 year old self and think you were pretty retarded. Just think back to when you were 18? Havent you changed at all?
phaqueue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gaining more experience as I continue to live my life doesn't invalidate the experience I've gained until now...
Also, just the act of living more years doesn't automatically make you smarter, or wiser, or anything besides older... experiences are what make you wiser or smarter, not just getting older...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm attending DeVry University and unfortunately, I'm 25 and one of the youngest in all my classes. I had a woman in TWO of my courses who would not stop talking about how she was a single mother and works soooo hard to take care of her son while working full time and going to school. you are not the minority
This woman actually had the motherfucking nerve to tell me "well you don't have kids so you don't know what it's like to work hard."
"I said biiiiiiiiitch", popping a kid out of your vagina doesn't make you special. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be stressed or challenged by life.
twisted_memories ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a degree in child development and my sister, who is pregnant with her first child, told me that because I've never had children I can't possibly know anything about child development. I have a full honours degree in it!!
Werewolf35a ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:23:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because there's often a smug arrogance in the young persons tone they are completely unaware of. If I had a nickel for every time a young teacher offended the parents at a elementary open house I'd be rich. Yes miss velarde, we will be sure to identify only "healthy snacks" to send our children to school with, sigh.
flameguy21 ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 16:40:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should have said, "Well MY child has already graduated college!"
jerrycasto ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:04:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would've just stood up and slow clapped sarcastically after a lot of interruptions.
lucy_inthessky ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 18:56:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once overhead a couple of women talking about how they couldn't take their child's pediatrician's advice seriously because the doctor didn't have children of his/her own.
Fuck off.
The_Canadian ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:02:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WTF? I guess medical school is nothing for these morons?
lucy_inthessky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I asked them....I was informed that mothers know their own children and that doctors without children aren't trustworthy.
I said, "Ok, I guess having a baby trumps a medical degree when it comes to diagnosing and treating diseases." Then I laughed and turned back to my book.
The_Canadian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Short of strangling people, there isn't much you can do.
lucy_inthessky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have read a lot of books while in the proximity of military spouses (dependapotamuses). I can't hold a conversation with them.
The_Canadian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds painful.
lucy_inthessky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It most definitely is.
crossbeats ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:05:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend has that issue as a teacher. She's been working in her field for 10 years, teaching pre-school. Meaning most of the parents have been parents for less than half as long as she's been teaching, on top of her having 2 college degrees.
lucy_inthessky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Luckily I never experienced that as a teacher before I had my child. Probably because I worked in a pretty bad area and the parents weren't very involved.
Mehiximos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess those 4 years of premed, 4 years of med school and 4 years of residency don't mean shit, huh?
lucy_inthessky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not when you haven't carried a child, I guess.
They then went on to discuss the dangers of vaccines, if that gives you more indication of the level of their intelligence.
axearm ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 17:02:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My wife is a physcian and the the number of parents who think it is okay their kid is not meeting milestones (like speech) is astounding.
"Well I didn't talk till I was 3"
Yeah and that is because your mom put you in front of a TV 8 hours a day (like you do with your child) and maybe you should want your child to do something more than have 4 kids at 20 years of age.
It's hard to tell people they, like their mothers, are failures, and that they should set the bar higher.
For there record she has patients who do this. They often can't read and work their asses off in menial jobs to improve the lives of their kids and make their kids understand that they ARE going to college and no BS will fly. (These people also typically have crossed the border illegally.)
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 18:04:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Parents also don't realize that the milestone ages are very generalized. If the pediatrician isn't concerned, I wouldn't worry too much about why your kid doesn't quite do X at exactly Y years old. Pediatricians look out for other warning signs, too, like inability to make eye contact, delayed responses to stimuli, etc. I could read very early on but then had a lot of trouble with tying my shoes. Your kid isn't going to be spot on with everything.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:25:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every kid is PERFECT in the parents eyes. If their kid is not doing it, then its wrong. Its actually why i think parents blame vaccines on alot if mental disorders. They dont want to think they got unlucky and had the bad genes, so they just blame everyone and everything else. People dont realize that every kid has problems and sometimes other kids are better at some stuff. Not every kids going to be a doctor, but they could be a kick ass carpenter.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:22:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's a huge distinction between thinking your kid is perfect and can do no wrong versus your kid is perfect to you, because they're them.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
As a parent the one thing I've vowed to try to avoid doing is giving my son too much praise or overestimating his abilities. I want a very real picture of his ability and I want him to understand that he has to work hard to get anywhere in life.
I've read about milestones online and tbh I don't know much about them but if what I've read is correct he's trending pretty far ahead of his peers (He's 2 1/2 and hes hitting some advanced milestones for 3 1/2 year olds).
I was constantly praised as a kid for being smart and inquisitive and it did nothing for me. If I had been taught that hard work is more important than natural intelligence I would be in a much better place in life. I don't want to make the same mistakes my parents made with me. If he's smart I want him to apply his intelligence and challenge himself, if he's not I want him to apply himself and challenge himself.
jinhong91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then there are some kids that simply dislike talking. Could give a glimpse of what type of person they will be like when they grow up.
oridb ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 17:34:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"It shows."
Or if you want a more subtle insult: "That doesn't surprise me."
axearm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:05:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is you don't want to insult these parents you want to engage them in a way that they take your encouragement to do something different.
If a doctor told you that you kid is going to be a screw up because you are a screw up, you'd probably stop listening pretty fast.
oridb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A fellow can dream, can't he?
notHooptieJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"at what age did you learn english?" is my favorite follow up.
Deckwash900 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! I didn't speak till I was three! (But then again I bribed other kids with toys to be my friends.)
axearm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I AM GLAD YOU KNOW HOW TO SPEAK. HAVE AN UPVOTE. HAPPY CAKE DAY.
AlenaBrolxFlami ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:06:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Happy Cake Day!
I didn't speak until I was four, and my oldest nephew didn't speak until he was three!
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:06:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like if I were a mom in that class, no matter what, I'd think "I'M FUCKING UP MY CHILD OH DEAR LORD" and that's probably why I'm not gonna have kids
Alcohol_Intolerant ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:56:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you did take a class, you'd learn that it's hard to fuck them up too badly unless you're
actively trying
scum of the earth horrible example of humanity
abusive
neglectful
The thing to remember is that you're so concerned about how good of a parent you'd be now, that you'd probably actually be ok, because you understand it's hard. You understand you might not be the best mom/dad ever. I ain't tellin you to have kids, but don't sell yourself short.
sunset7766 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:42:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Join us at /r/childfree
We don't want kids either.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:50:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, no, it's not that I don't want them. I don't know if I do or don't. I probably just won't have them. Maybe. Idk. I'm 21 I have time to figure it out.
multiplesifl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sure do! I wasn't sure if I wanted kids or not until I was 31. Now I'm damn sure I don't. :P
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:47:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
tiltowaitt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:53:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Replicating themselves" sounds much more impressive than what actually happened.
Muffer-Nl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:34:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations, your kid has autism!
zenhkai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More likely fetal alcohol syndrome
Lakey91 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:06:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 2 year old is already so advanced that he can understand that milestones represent the fact that a certain proportion of children have reached them by a certain age, not that all of them learn it at exactly that age.
Milestones are decided based on when the average child starts to do something; the upper limit of 'should have learned by' indicates that the child has developed it later than, say, 2 standard deviations of children. It doesn't mean that the child isn't normal, nor does reaching it by then indicate the child isn't delayed. They tend to set the 'should have learned by' point lower to make sure they pick up any children with developmental delays, even though it means they flag up many children who are completely normal.
To be honest, though, the teacher should have made this clear. When a mother hears that her child hasn't reached a milestone she hears you calling her child a retard; so she denies the milestone instead.
OC4815162342 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:30:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the one downside of 3 hour classes. They're filled with middle aged mothers who want to go back to school so they take a 3 hour evening class instead of a regular schedule. Every 3 hour class I've taken (5 in my 3 years of school, having 1 class a week is nice) every single one has had a section of class filled with 40-50 year old house wives who would do this shit all the time. It's so annoying.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:49:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is every single developmental psychology class.
yrrosimyarin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:44:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is often frustrating when teachers present the median of a distribution as a hard law of human existence.
shmonsters ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:43:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Early reading can actually be a sign of autism called hyperlexia, so her kid is probably fucked.
Misanthropic_Cynic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't you post this story before? I think I remember you saying that time that the prof flipped and told the student "Well I guess I should just rip apart my PhD because obviously you know more than I do" or something like that?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably. This was years ago and I was the youngest in the class by at least 10 years.
siegewolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup....took a child development course. It's so horrible.
A_Filthy_Mind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every mommy blog out there.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
literally every single mother in every community college needs to start their sentence/opinion/idea with the phrase "as a mother, I..."
it's science, man.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:53:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Authority fallacy
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my AP Psych class in high school. Everyone thinks their one anecdotal case overrules psychology.
Sloi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you break out the psychometrics literature and make them realize their kids are dumb as fuck. :P
TaylorMercury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my roommates when I was in university "could read" when she was three. She also "read" Dune when she was five. She could be pretty annoying.
BroccoliManChild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As someone who took a human development class...."
Random10010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read a comment similar to this a while back, basically the professor went off on the student for making the "as a mother" remarks during a lecture. If anyone knows which comment I'm talking about a link would be great. (Can't find it and it's bugging me.)
encinoman58 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burn them all...
Noggin-a-Floggin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, all you can do is bite your tongue in that situation and finish it with good marks.
Ah, the days of only taking a class because its the only credits you can get...I miss going for my BA.
YourWizardPenPal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the first lesson should have been about the difference between scientific evidence and anecdotal evidence.
GraharG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
did they get that the numbers were averages, and that one data point doenst overturn an average?
RockoTDF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my learning theory class (for those of you that aren't familiar, learning theory is like rats in a cage, pavlov's dog, etc sort of stuff, not education) we had a woman who was a mom and worked with autistic kids. She had an opinion on everything. Drove us nuts.
murakamimelb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, because your anecdotal evidence from a sample space of two children by a biased observer has the power to refute years of empirical scientific research.
HD_ERR0R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That class actually sounds very interesting. I think I might take it next trimester. Hopefully I don't get into a class full of mothers.
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can understand why this would be annoying. I took human development before I became a mom. Looking back, I understand both sides of the equation. Being a mom doesn't make me an expert on all kids. It doesn't mean that I can decide if certain things are less valid because my kid is different. That said, I also see how.experience can help you have a grasp of.certain concepts better because you get the chance to witness it. It would get annoying if someone thought they know it all because s/he has kids.
NotThatEasily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If your life experience can be summed up with "as a mother" I'm not in the least bit interested in being around you. The worst part is that shit comes up when we aren't even talking about kids. I've heard people use it during city council meetings when discussing mundane bullshit. Fuck right off with it.
MidWestJoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those milestones are basically estimates as to when a child should be developing on average. Many children meet them before or after. I've been in daycares where two year olds are speaking almost full sentences (above average) and ones where two year olds don't even attempt to talk.
DrewsephA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bitch my dog is 9 years old, and despite me having a bowl of cereal 2-5 times a week at night, he still doesn't understand that when a Corn Pop falls out of the bowl, it sits on the table and doesn't fall to the floor, so stfu and listen to the professor.
Also, she should have called them out on it every time. "Well my child..." "Oh your child? So you're telling me that because you have a single 2-year old, that you know more than me, who has a PhD in psychology, who spend 10+ years in school to get my degree? Ok, then you come up here and teach the class, since you know sooo much." They would have quieted up real fast.
badsingularity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those parents were well informed by reading books that other mother's wrote.
BigBiker05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking child development classes as a male sucked ass too. Because I will never give childbirth, I am apparently unable to have a comment about anything regarding children. But it is nice being one a few males, if not the only male.
zoomzoom83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood why people think being a parent is a qualification.
I mean... ok, so you managed to have sex at least once? Congratulations, you're now an export with more knowledge and experience than the combined sum of all medical professionals and scientists that ever were and ever will be.
Fortehlulz33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
like, I understand how a kid doing something can raise a question, but to say "that's not correct because..." is very dumb.
somedude456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend just has a baby. She just shared some blog last week about "Top 10 things you never knew about having a child." Bored, I clicked it. I think the second thing mentioned was "half your friends you tell you this, and half will tell you that...both they are wrong. Do what works for you."
WTF does that even mean? Secondly...NO!
rividz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A demonstration on the availability heuristic, sample size, and bias might have helped. But then again I'm sure parents would have just found another way to make the focus of the lecture about themselves instead.
acvg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a newborn and a 2yr old...I would never give anybody parenting advice. I might hand them a book I found helpful, but that's about it. I hated when ppl have me unsolicited advice when i was pregnant with my first. Then when i was expecting my 2nd ppl actually looked disappointed when i told them i had an older child at home bc they couldn't give them their stupid advice that probably only applies to their kid anyway.
redheadheroine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I took developmental psychology as a night class... Which meant I had a lot of parents in my class. It was a fucking nightmare.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, I had a professor in a Psych 101 class where this exact thing happened all the time
Guess what? She worked it into her lectures and ended up engaging the class in the material far more than it would have been before.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would lose my shit in that kind of environment.
JangSaverem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pffft my kid is so much more advanced and smart. The professor just doesnt understand thats all.
Cmrade_Dorian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like two penalties to me.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Makes me remember when I was in high school and I got into a car accident that had me in and out of my classes for about 2 months, my mom would take me to her classes (there was no one to watch me at home, and I would be useless in class... the rest is irrelevant), and she would always say "as a mother..." then gesture toward me and introduce me to the class. Even if I had been in that class several times with her. She was embarrassing both of us, but had no idea.
I didn't know how to tell her that doing that is totally inappropriate (and she would have probably tried to kill me by overdose if I had), so I just had some meaningful eye contact with people in the class to show my apologies.
dorky2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES! There were a lot of nontraditional students in my education program and this drove me insane. I'm glad I became a parent after studying child development.
Level126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
have you posted this comment somewhere else? I remember something exactly like this.
FortuneCookie313 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. The only thing worse is someone who took a 200 level psych course and thinks they know everything.
bjsy92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why were all these women mothers? Was it an adult only class or a college course?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, first of all I said parents. Second of all it was a summer community college course.
bjsy92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry the example was mother, I ran with it.
chellbelle3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you got an A in that class, and I hope it had less to do with your actual intelligence, and more to do with the fact that you were the only person in the class not playing the parent card. I also hope it's because you and your professor regularly got drunk immediately after class... ;)
Lightspeedius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did similar study. I wasn't the only non-parent, but I kinda felt lucky I wasn't one. All the parents in my class spent more time grappling with their guilt at not being perfect parents more than anything. Many were grateful to be introduced to Winnicott's concept of the good enough mother.
Maybe that was partly due to how the lecturer held the class. They were a therapist themself and were adept at helping people reflect what they were saying back on them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i took that class in the vancouver area of bc canada. all people <25 yrs old. glorious!
AnorhiDemarche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking hate this shit.
I worked in childcare before becoming a parent and parents annoy the fuck outta me. no matter how many times I explained to the mothers group I went to that milestones are guidelines and that every child develops differently and is better at different stuff and you should be worried when something is a few months behind not instantly or impressed when they're a few months ahead not instantly they still fucking do this shit.
I don't go to mothers groups anymore, and often pretend I never went.
donnamatrix79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother, fuck those people.
Yeah, it would be really hard to see something that contradicts with what you observe at home, but unless your kid is also every other kid in the entire world, you are an expert at YOUR kid and that's all. Back off, sit the fuck down, and don't take a class if you already know it all.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it not normal for kids to read at 3? I could read at 3, not like, full novels, but a Doctor Seuss book
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar experience in a linguistics class when we got to the chapter on animals. The prof broke down the requirements for having language, she explained how animals do not have language, but they can respond instinctually/conditionally. Of course the crazy old cat-lady spends half the class arguing that her cats understand her and missing the point about the true definition of language.
shhRP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh if only psychology were a real field anyway instead of psuedoscience.
vuhleeitee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an early childhood teacher. I've gone through a lot of training for my job. I'm amazed at some of the parents I meet. Including ones that say I'm not qualified to teach their children, because I don't have kids. Bitch, I get seven two year olds to listen to me, all day, every day. You can't even get your one kid to listen to you.
Miadkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 76 month old kid can read....
OtherMemory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who believes a 3 month old has object permanence is r.... wait, what's the word we're supposed to use instead now that "retarded" is a big no-no? Somehow dumbshit doesn't seem emphatic enough.
EdgiestFool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know that feel man. I did a course in Fitness and we were all semi young kids (about 17-19) with a few older people. One of these was a 50 year old mother. Why she wanted to be a PT I don't know. However she did not shut her mouth. Teachers literally had to stop her from talking. I had times where I thought murder was the answer. One of my teachers, an amazing PT, set up his business so well he'll never have to work another day in his life, was teaching us Business and she was like "I don't think that's the best way to run a business." My teacher just carried on like she never said anything.
trashlunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, this brings me back to an intro Ethics course I took as an undergrad. There was this one lady who used every discussion as an excuse to shoehorn in her shitty opinion that was supposed to be so valuable because she was a 22-year-old mother. I remember we were talking about whether pleasure is the only intrinsic value and if, given the choice, it would be preferable to live your life inside a simulation that was guaranteed to be more pleasant than the real world, and she interrupted to go on a rant about how "As a mother I find that idea appalling, no way would I ever let my kids be raised in some made-up dreamworld where everything is perfect! That's not real life!" So firstly, she was reacting as though we'd just shown her the Matrix pod we were about to shove her kids into, not discussing a purely hypothetical philosophical question, and secondly, I was entirely sick of her "as a mother" bullshit. So I said "It wouldn't necessarily have to be a world where 'everything is perfect.' Maybe it would just be a more just version of our world, where your children could still experience setbacks, but would always be rewarded for doing the right thing, and never treated unfairly. What kind of a parent wouldn't want that for their children?" And she just looked at me stunned.
haagiboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I would have either shot myself or stabbed someone if I had to attend those classes if there was no discussion ban.
haagiboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By the way. Are women more prone to being narcissists then men?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men are more prone to being narcissists than women actually. Peep the study in r/rasisedbynarcissists.
Bonolio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a 4 year old who is seriously gifted. I mean future evil genius, volcano Island dwelling, destroyer of world's type smart. It sucks because I really do want to brag about him. But I don't. Because I am not a douche.
ElopingElephants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MY 37 month old can already count to 1000!
Slash_rage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why should I care what you do about your shitty kid? -Proffesor
helm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
btw, are you ponyo?
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i snapped in a class like that once. this one woman kept saying the "as a mother of three," line. every monday wednesday and friday morning (fridays were the worst...) she would pull that out 2-3 times a class... so 6-9 times in general a week, the second friday, i just stood up (small class too, about 35-40 people) and just said "i dont fucking care about your kids or you as a mother, if we are doing this shit again i am gonna go get a fucking buritto from the cafeteria!" and walked out.
monday was better.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. We had a woman who would constantly brag about her child and how she could read at 2 years. Like shut the fuck up homie. No she can't.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:28 on September 8, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 18 year old son took a class like this as well. He was super advanced though and e probably didn't even need to go to class because he's so smart. They might as well just give him the degree so he can go on to saving lives and stuff because of how smart he is.
eraserrrhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:22 on September 9, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I have a 24 month old
FTFY
frickindeal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Both I and my sister read at four, so it's not that out of the ordinary, but how the fuck do they think they know more than a PhD because they had a kid? It's not that difficult a task.
exikon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's like saying they know more about cars than a mechanic because they can drive...
steakndbud ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:04:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. I took evolutionary psychology with a feminist. I was one of like 4 guys in an all female class.
They just talked shit on guys all day and "supported each other".
Pissed me the fuck off on a daily basis. We also had that loud, overweight ultra feminist that is constantly put down by men.
I stopped going...
mmm_machu_picchu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:08:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good one.
.
.
.
.
Oh...
justine7179 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:56:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh sweet Jesus, I took a simple Psychology 101 night class and there were parents galore. Every fucking night they would share personal stories and the teacher would oblige them, because why not?? It's not like other people are here to learn, why not waste valuable class time with something clearly not necessary to anyone? After a few weeks of that class, I couldn't stand it anymore and I just loudly gathered my notebooks and walked out during someone's asinine sob story about their kid's preschool days.
cardinal29 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the flip side of this, one of my MILs was a childless child psychologist who felt free to give me advice all the time. Yeah, right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How was your MIL childless? Did she not enter the picture until your spouse was an adult?
cardinal29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have two FILs & and two MILs. My husband's parents divorced and remarried, second marriage didn't have kids. But thought she could tell me how to do it. Cause she read it in a book.
Adddicus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't all that uncommon. Most of the children in my extended family have been able to read by their third birthday.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's nice. Bragging about it in a college classroom is inappropriate.
pargyle_sweater ยท 800 points ยท Posted at 16:31:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yesterday i was in line at starbucks, the barista was having a little trouble with her order (putting her sandwich in the oven before ringing her up or something) and she was like, "what are you doing? as a mother, i know how to multitask!" first time i've heard someone say this stupidly, probably won't be the last
southsideson ยท 668 points ยท Posted at 17:52:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother I know how to inflict pain without leaving any incriminating marks.
hail_prez_skroob ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:01:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother, I have perfected the tight-lipped smile with accompanying low-voiced threats.
Torvaun ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:51:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pressure to the base of the fingernail. Use the tip of your thumb, you don't even have to scratch their manicure.
yakkafoobmog ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:10:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ, that fucking hurts. I don't want to know why you know that.
delta_wardog ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:07:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fun trick I learned as a kid and used to get other kids to do:
You get a very short, sharp pain that feels like somebody fucking stabbed you in the finger. Great stuff.
SloppySynapses ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:16:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuck you just got me to put my thumb in my mouth while on the toilet in a public bathroom. who knows what I touched. now I have to go wash my mouth out for 30 minutes
nman68 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:13:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/SloppySynapses forever unclean!
thirdegree ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:43:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started to do this, then realized I don't actually want to feel like somebody stabbed me in the finger.
gnorty ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:02:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
we used to do something similar - bite one fingernail/finger on each hand quite hard (index finger works well, but whatever floats yer boat) for about 15 seconds. Then hook the 2 fingers toegether and pull.
Similar result, but for me feels like an electric shock up your arm.
Nick1693 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ow why the fuck did I try that?
gnorty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Curiosity I guess. If you are curious about these things, try this other experiment...
You know how you used to burn things with a magnifying glass as a kid? Try it on the back of your thumb nail. Surprisingly it doesn't really hurt at all. You can keep it there for quite a while. Now don't go crazy - it's not a pain threshold championship - keep it there until it starts to feel actually hot, and then stop. The result is unforgettable if you get it right.
If you don't notice anything, then you wussed out. You need to wait until it starts to feel hot, but not let it get actually painful.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you that hurt.
Torvaun ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:11:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy is an EMT. Apparently they do that now instead of sternal rubs to check consciousness because it's way harder for malingerers to fake.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting, but what? What is this responding to?
Torvaun ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:53:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I know how to cause impressive amounts of pain by applying pressure to the base of the fingernail.
5cBurro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ, that fucking hurts. I don't want to know why you know that.
thirdegree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy is an EMT. Apparently they do that now instead of sternal rubs to check consciousness because it's way harder for malingerers to fake.
yakkafoobmog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess now I know. Thanks!
SayceGards ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I must be doing it wrong because it doesn't hurt.
DonnFirinne ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a 22 year old guy, so do I.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:19:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a father, I know how to break you down emotionally and withhold my attention and approval.
Gsusruls ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Base version of this line I've heard. Bravo!
ColinOnReddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nocontext
joe2tehfo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With a sack of Valencia oranges.
Icy207 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a baby I know how to inflict pain while leaving incriminating marks.
LucidicShadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They do though!
"I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bag of oranges... Check!
Miadkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
whos mother were you Caylee Anthony's?
lightwell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's either a bag of oranges, or contact controls.
ragnar-lothbrook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*as an older brother
crybannanna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother, I know how to make a guy cum inside me!"
MamaXerxes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:48:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a mother, but I'm using this in the future.
Thank you.
brorager ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:59:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. Right in Da Feels.
Peanut_butterwolf ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:04:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst part about that is that the barista was doing what they are supposed to do. The "routine" for front registers is to take the order, mark the cup, gather the food, then cash them out. The reason for that is so that no one's food gets forgotten when the next customer comes up. It's always those women who are the ones to complain loud enough and long enough that they get free shit, which just reinforces their bad behavior IMO. That's why I always give free stuff to the nice customers, the ones who don't ask for it or expect it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:50:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in retail if someone was nice and were short some change I'd let the change slide. We weren't supposed to do that, but we all did it from time to time and I felt that a lot of customers appreciated the leniency. Also, I usually got enough "keep the change" people to even out in my head.
If you were a dick you aren't walking out of here unless I get that penny you owe.
Jackpot777 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:33:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother, I know how to get more than one child into the bath in the morning."
- Andrea Yates.
Capercaillie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:07:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comment should not go unremarked. Therefore, I remark upon it.
ZombyTed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, she does.
Rainandsnow5 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:05:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But do you know how to work a shitty job slanging sandwiches and coffee?
Multi-tasking is me smiling and calling you a bitch under my breath at the same time. Your kids get it.
Titanosaurus ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:52:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Maam, just because you got fucked and knocked up, doesn't mean you can act like a cunt."
adognameddave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as a mother, i have a huge dong
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh I come on Reddit to relax not be enraged.
Damn, did you call her out at all?
brijjen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt says exactly the opposite. She can't handle things if they're not EXACTLY the way she wants them at all times. She says "I've never developed mommy ears/eyes/etc!" when justifying her intolerance for people making noise, being messy or living life outside of her control.
nancyaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AS A MOTHER, I KNOW HOW TO SPREAD MY LEGS.
QSquared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Multi-tasking isn't really something anyone can do, its thought 1-2 % of the world might be able to multi-task ( granted thats 60 to 140 million people)
bass_n_treble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:49 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, mothers don't multitask that well. They just get panicky, their kid runs everywhere, and they pay more attention to their phone than anything else.
Mothers who "multitask" are just adult onset ADHD.
Schlick7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See I don't mind it in that cause all to much. Multitasking can be a learned skill and you would most likely learn it as a mother.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:39:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes perfect sense. That will lead to everything being done more quickly.
evilbrent ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:08:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't actually believe the vast majority of women actually multi task. They may "many-task", i.e. Have a load of washing in while planning the shopping list while making the kid's lunches.
But that's lots of things in a row. It's not the same as making the dinner with one hand while polishing the silver with the other
Justicles13 ยท 1298 points ยท Posted at 15:26:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen a new wave of sanctimommies show up on social media and it's fucking weird. Girls who were pretty cool and all in high school and college became women who are just whacky. They think they know everything because they expelled a child from their body.
insomniaczombiex ยท 809 points ยท Posted at 16:34:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People seem to forget they they gave birth to a child, not a PhD.
roreads ยท 683 points ยท Posted at 16:46:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Giving birth to a PhD would be hella impressive, to be fair
grammar_oligarch ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 17:58:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dissertation defenses would be far more entertaining and far more disgusting.
epicwinguy101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, I've seen some pretty disgusting ones.
Archangel_Omega ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:43:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably cheaper than the student loans as well.
odie4evr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:52:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But think of the paper cuts for that piece of paper that shows you earned a PhD.
Archangel_Omega ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:01:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would heal faster than my bank account and hurt less than the loan payments, so I'm game.
princekamoro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, you still have to raise that PHD for 18 years.
Archangel_Omega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, still need a few more after that to get the "Required Experience" most employers want anyway.
princekamoro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In some software that has existed for fewer years than the years of experience they are looking for. I swear time travelers have it so easy.
Gyddanar ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:24:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if you give birth to a PhD, you're officially not human. You're a printer
degistered_remocrat ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:29:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The afterbirth would be a minor in philosophy
Taddare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would birthing a liberal arts degree be like having a special kid?
degistered_remocrat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:57:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I say this because I'm studying psych
roreads ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:01:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't you a special little guy :)
AverageJane09 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:52:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How to Get a PhD in ONLY 9 Months!"
Phage0070 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And bizarrely, much cheaper.
GeraldVanHeer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, I'd endure childbirth AMD the gestation period AMD daily morning sickness if I got my MD at the end of it.
Cosmicpalms ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hella
ACompanionUnobtrusiv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if they gave birth to a kid named Peter Hubert Delecroix?
MauPow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably cheaper, too
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty huge dick, amirite?
Sorry I never do this
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except nobody has done it
ChubDawg420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
think of the paper cuts
Qinzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Paper cuts everywhere
Shooter-Mcgavinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the saying that pisses me off. Hella.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Congratulations, it's a doctor!"
toothlessjb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is the time for one of those switcharoo thingies, but I'm not exactly sure what that is.
mouseknuckle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations! Here's your diploma.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
more so if it was framed!
ThisisCanada98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asian mothers give birth to PhDs all the time.
NonsequiturSushi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thesis defence in utero must be tough on the womb.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The paper cuts...
whiteonwhiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So many paper cuts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That papery feel, that new-book smell of a newborn PhD.
InvictusProsper ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:10:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I gave birth to a child with a PhD.
Flugalgring ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:55:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, good old Uterus U. Good rowing team.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Their watersports program really is tits.
phillyFart ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:18:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cousins wife with three children once said to me (when discussing childhood development), "those college professors with their PHDs as if they think that matters or means anything..."
insomniaczombiex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Um, as a matter of fact that's exactly what that means.
EndlesslyRotatingNed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes, its about as applicable. I've recently left a job because a new manager kept waving his Phd in my face as a license to do the most idiotic things. "I understand you want to raise the pressure this instant, but shouldn't the joints in the pipework be refitted to take it?" "....i have a Phd, it's not your concern". Within 24 hours, he's standing ankle deep in the resulting flood, lecturing me on the importance of preparing as he watches me mop. It's possible to have a PhD and be a complete moron.
insomniaczombiex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It goes both ways, for sure. But I had a former friend of mine completely disregard everything my SO said in regards to child rearing, when my SO had helped raise her cousins from the time they were infants until now, only because she wasn't a mother. People use that line as a way to completely write off what someone else is saying.
EndlesslyRotatingNed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally hear you, we've actually encountered someone preemptively using this assumed authority at the point where they were still only trying to get pregnant!
insomniaczombiex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a pre-emptive mother..."
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 1152 points ยท Posted at 17:07:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a new mom and I can't stand how some women act like they have this unobtainable wisdom bestowed upon them from giving birth. My favorite(actually the one I love to hate) has a mommy blog and it makes me want to punch her through the screen. She goes on and on about natural parenting and how she just sacrifices so much to be a mom and is such an elitist, but there's never a mention of the fact that her oldest is from a one night stand in college.
Yes, being a parent changed my life. Yes, being a parent made me sappier that I was. Yes, it's true that you develop this unspoken bond with other mothers(i.e. Grieving for another mom who's child is sick, because you now understand how much a sick child can hurt you.)
BUT there's moms all over the place. None of us are special. We are special to our kids, and that's it.
And sanctimoms are like the new version of southern baptists. You know how baptists try to be the better christian? Well these sanctimoms try to be crunchier than each other and put down other moms to make themselves feel better.
I can't tell you how many other moms pick at me for letting my son sleep with me. He sleeps through the night when he sleeps with me, so fuck off. I like sleep. Or how I let him have oatmeal cereal a little early. The kid had a cold and was having a hard time sucking his bottle, so I mixed oatmeal with breast milk and fed it to him in a spoon so he could get some food and be able to breathe. Guess they thought I should just let him be dehydrated so I could stick to their rule book. Oh, and the best ones are the ones that talk down to me because I work and send him to daycare. They think it means that I don't love my kid as much as they do.
They can choke on a dick.
TGAPTrixie9095 ยท 646 points ยท Posted at 17:19:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if they did that, they wouldn't have had those children
Poops_McYolo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:48:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/teen-girl-vagina-pregnant-sperm-survival-oral-sex/story?id=9732562
Capercaillie ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:10:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Without a doubt, that is the greatest URL address I've ever seen.
comfortablesexuality ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:03:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ah yes, vagina pregnant, as opposed to the other types of pregnancies.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:19:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TGAPTrixie9095 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:40:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a father of both a cat and a dog, I have to say, I'd rather have the animals.
Iwasborninafactory_ ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 23:41:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just something nice people say because your plan is WAY outside of societal norms. Don't get all preachy. Anyone who ever said that to you never ever thought about it again, but here you are ranting anonymously, publicly, to strangers about it because it makes you so mad.
JuggernautV2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If natural selection had worked, the womans eggs should've been boiled alive
Rainandsnow5 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:07:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You beat me to it... Ahhh sooo good.
Jcoulombe311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Enjoy the karma you glorious bastard
xjuggernaughtx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why choke on a dick when they could have a delicious hay smoothie, eh?
TERRAOperative ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe this would have been better for everyone in the long run than them having sat on that dick..
TheBanjoNerd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:41:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True words, oh great and powerful one.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:24:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It...it's like you took my thoughts on my fellow moms and put it into words...
Down to the very last "Fuck you".
I like you.
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:30:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I like you too!
WatermelonWarlord ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:30:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So sayeth "45MinutesofRoadHead".
But let's be real, if your college friend was the kind of girl that was satisfied by being choked by a dick, she might not have gotten pregnant in college.
MissBubbleButt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:48:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was my favorite part too.
VulvaAutonomy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:31:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother... I so agree... but seriously, yes, all of that. Maybe it's just me but I was a young mom and I hated when older moms would swarm at me with all their advice about how shitty I was because I didn't feed him organic, hand-crafted baby food. I couldn't afford that shit. And my kid turned out fine. Those moms forget that people have been having babies for eons without all the expensive contraptions, philosophical theories and textbooks.
cls4n6 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:49:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Best advice I ever got - 38 years ago- before my first child was:There are only 4 things to remember- keep them warm, keep them dry, feed them, and don't drop them. All this other nonsense now just drives me nuts. Kids are different, parents are different- one size does not fit all. So STFU.
Kitty_Burglar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best advice. :)
cls4n6 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:10:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. I agreed- but I will give advice when asked- and always also conclude with 'take it with a grain of salt and do what makes you comfortable'. But it was nice, at the end of the day, to be able to say 'at least I didn't drop one of them'.
Raz0rLight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its so much more important to give a child a good grounding, a good start mentally and morally than to keep their diets within a narrow and anally optimal checklist.
Ghostronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, you may want to keep the diet to be anally optimal. A constipated baby is no bueno :(
Raz0rLight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but not elitist.
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I understand that all the rules and suggestions are there for a reason, but some of them may not work for everyone, and that's okay.
It'd be different if they wanted to come down own me because I was feeding my baby bacon or something, but I'm not. He's healthy and happy and we're doing great.
nkbee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:16:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This, coupled with your username, makes me think you're the type of lady I could be friends with.
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:25:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm a pretty friendly lady.
sadira246 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:45:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PLEASE come be my sane mom-friend!!!!
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm here for you!
sadira246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hooray!! Thank you!!!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All of this.
I wish I could give you gold.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PamPooveyIsTheTits ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
We should be mum friends. I'm still (still!) breastfeeding my 15 month old and she sleeps in our bed because sleeping is one of my favourites and she doesn't sleep unless she's touching one of us. You'd think the way people act that we're living in some creepy commune. You do you mum! We're all just winging it.
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you! You rule!
thoughtfool1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
damn, I'm a dad and I really love your attitude. thank you for being "real" ... which under other circumstances, and in the spirit of this thread, I would hate myself for saying.
bouffanthairdo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and oils. fucking oils.
PM_ME_YOUR_TEXTBOOKS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:55:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For 45 minutes going down a highway?
reverendsteveii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, supermom. All you did was fuck. The rest of this just sort of happened to you.
PS: Thank you for helping me do one of my favorite reddit things, which is to gain real insight from someone whose username is absolutely ridiculous. I am now wiser, thanks to 45MinutesOfRoadHead.
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're most welcome
jaynasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck those clowns, what do we care what they think?
Liquidmentality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You and my wife could be friends.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These are generally people who have no skills or any character traits that garner respect from other people. Once they get that baby they suddenly see it as an opportunity to be taken seriously.
starjedi357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and that becomes their only identity, I feel for their children...who wants to be responsible for your own parent's identity crisis
HavanaDays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a father (had to) cannot up vote this enough
Pun-Master-General ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, as a mother, you hate people who say "as a mother?"
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. This was just in response to sanctimoms.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh! The natural moms! I really, really didn't want to see that picture of a naked pregnant woman squatting next to a stream!! It was captioned "Mom gives birth unassisted in wilderness!!"
Like, sure, if you call "unassisted" "I have a professional photographer with me".
Also your baby can die that way. I don't care how careful you are, popping a baby out next to a creek is a fucking horrible idea.
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. This natural mom blogger has also actively blogged against hospital births and vaccinations and talked about how much better home births are. Myself and other women ended up laying into her on that one. We had all stayed quiet until that moment.
You can talk about how great your home birth was, but don't condemn hospital births at the same time. I could have seen a naive mom-to-be reading it and thinking "Oh my god. I have to do a home birth. Hospitals sound awful!" She kept saying "I didn't mean to make it sound bad." Except she did and tried to backpedal. I said "When you decide to blog you are taking on a responsibility to provide accurate and helpful information. You have done the opposite in this. You can encourage women to seek out the birth experience that they desire, but do not condemn the safest option."
I know woman who lost a baby in a home birth and it could have been prevented if she were at a hospital, so her post made me rage.
Not to mention, the girl was 22 when she started blogging.
Bitch, ya ain't old enough to be a life coach.
bangorthebarbarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's worse when you are a male. Women have completely dominated all things child care. My lamaze instructor's daughter once tried to correct him on how to change a diaper, despite him having cared for literally over 30 children, including her.
pennyfontaine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah those mums can do one, particularly the one harping on about how much she "sacrifices" for her kid. All parents do that, either sacrifice less if it's really such an exceptional level of it or just shut up about it and get on with being a mum.
You sound like a great mum and if I needed advice about childcare I would ask you over the blogger mums!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to doing the best we can and having to work.
With neither my wife or I were able to stay home, fuck all the sanctimonious parents who can. We had a daycare worker tell my wife that she should stay home because raising kids was the most important job in the world. Not like school loans wanted to be paid off or anything, or they volunteered to take on that debt.
Bulvye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because she has her 'real family' now.
Burgerballsack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think Mothers are special, most mothers anyway.
kariochi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my god, why aren't you still Breastfeeding? Just give it another try, he's only 16 months. I just love my baby so much, I could never give him formula. At least you tried though, right?"
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my cousins got so upset when my son was born because we were having serious issues with breastfeeding, and some people were trying to comfort me and saying "Nobody will look down on you if you use formula. Just do what works for you and your baby." My cousin got super mad that people were trying to make me feel okay with formula. You would've thought they were telling me to give him eat poison.
kariochi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I'm so sorry. It's hard enough dealing with all the other post partum stuff. That's what a nurse that called my house to check on me was like. "Are you committed to breastfeeding? It doesn't sound like you are. It Sounds like you want the easy way out"
dinosaursdarling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ, preach! When I was pregnant everyone and their sister had an opinion! It makes it so hard to get real advice because every person you speak to has a different fucking opinion. I thought it would stop once I had my baby but NOPE. It just got worse. Now every time someone offers any advice whatsoever I say 'My doctor has advised me not to listen to anyone who hasn't had a baby in the last 2 years...sorry.' This really offends everyone but I don't give a shit.
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The best advice is to do what works for you and your baby.
dinosaursdarling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:36 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whole heartedly agree. There's so much mixed advice out there. You'd go nuts if you tried listening to everyone. Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there who think it's appropriate to shame someone for not parenting like they think it should be done.
civilian11214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's kind of weird when your son is 17.
pingpongtiddley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Re: your last point, god those mums are the fucking worst. The mums at my primary school looked down on my mum and treated her like shit because she couldn't do any of the weekday mummy brunches and coffee mornings they did, as she and my dad both worked 80 hour weeks each until I was 16. As if it was a bad choice to be a mum and have a career. Be a stay at home mum, they're great too, I don't care, but don't put down my incredible mum cause she chose not to do that. Ugh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I love this post. The word "natural" makes me rage a little inside. I put my son to sleep on his tummy, formula fed, and don't flip out when my kid falls. I am literally satan.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, the martyrdom kills me. Oh my kid wakes up to feed every two hours. Two hours? Luxury! Mine doesn't sleep for more than 45 minutes....
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just tell them that I'm a mother, not a martyr.
emmypem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love how you started this with stating youre a mom (no offense just enjoyed the humour, great point made btw)
Skyblacker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The mommy blogger I know never mentions that her husband also accidentally knocked up another woman.
It's almost like these mommy blogs are overcompensating for something.
TheAllRightGatsby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a 20 year old guy so I might be talking out of my ass here, but from seeing how I was raised and my brother was raised and my friends and other kids I know were raised, I've come to the general conclusion that... Most things don't matter as much as people think they do when they're raising kids. Like, keeping them safe and healthy is of course important, but really I've never heard of someone's physical or mental development having any sort of appreciable difference depending on the age at which they ate oatmeal or the music they listened to in the womb or where they slept or whatever. I think it mostly comes from parents being scared they're doing everything wrong and then either trying to reassure themselves or being way too specific about what actually made their kids turn out right.
kaseycoyote ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I get so tired of all that judgy, pretentious crap. We are all doing the best we can to love our kids. There's no need to brag, make other parents feel bad, or even make more "mom blogs". I'm really through with those.
Ran4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with that? That doesn't mean that you can't be a good parent.
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing is wrong with with being an unwed mom. What's wrong with her is that she presents herself as this perfect all-knowing super mom that is better than you and has no faults ever. But forgets to mention this small fact.
cbBRAVOS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for teaching me the word "sanctimom." It's like it's been on the tip of my tongue for my entire life...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you need new friends. When me and the fellow parents around work talk about our kids, it's usually pretty real stuff, no one ever gets sanctimonious when I say I sent my little princess to bed a bit early on some trumped up charges because I wanted to drink scotch and read in silence.
asleeplessmalice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they choked on a dick they would probably not have become a way better mother than you though.
Spercificate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, the daycare thing. If someone asks me "how is that working out" in that snotty tone one more time I will freak out. Or my other favorite, "Well personally I could never send my child to daycare." These are direct quotes!
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just say "Well, good thing you're wealthy enough to be a stay at home mom!"
Honestly though, I would still work even if we could get by on just my SO's salary. Being a stay at home mom isn't for everywhere.
edifyyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you - your language is a bit salty, but I understand and agree with your sentiment. My wife and I are similarly dealing with much sanctimonious (but usually well-intentioned) advice about our 5 month old from our friends... and it's often contradictory.
We're sick of it, and have decided (realized?) that the goal is NOT to stick to a certain sleep plan, or diet, only clothe him in cashmere jumpers blessed by hippies, or whatever; the goal IS for the three of us to survive until he's 18. That means we need sleep, occasional time as husband and wife instead of dad and mom, etc. If you think that the way we hold his bottle is going to put him in therapy later, then I guess we'll find out.
OrcasAreAssholes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I so love this comment thank you
craycraycrayfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm assuming you've seen this
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. It was basically my anthem while I was knocked up. My best friend was one of those smug pregnant bitches and it made me laugh.
nancyaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Umโฆ when you stop breastfeeding, drinks are on me. You are a rock star.
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm exclusively pumping. It suuuuucks. The only reason I'm still doing it is because I'm fucking poor and formula costs money. Haha.
ki110r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty confident reddit moms are the best moms.
foxxinsox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should join Sanctimommy Said What on Facebook. The shit some people say is ridiculous
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll do that now
TapirsAreNeat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it alpha mom? That self righteous cuntsicle. Bugs the shit out of me. Same when I hear childless people tell me that when THEY are parents they won't do x,y,z. I think even childless people can have valuable perpective on parenting if they have some experience in the field, but oh my god don't tell me how you'd never ever for one minute consider a repeat c section or take pain med after because it MUST be harmful. End rant. Just omfg.
An_aussie_in_ct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are doing everything right, and are a fantastic mother. Keep being you and your kids will grow up to be wonderful adults, and it's because of you
Thanmandrathor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those moms tend not to have a whole hell of a lot else going on in their lives beyond defining themselves as someone's mommy.
I refuse to just be someone's mom. I am much more than that, and everything else is not subservient to my kids' needs. My husband gets a top spot too.
Notmyrealname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know who gave her baby oatmeal early? Hitler's mom. True fact.
drunkwithmycats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is so fucking awesome! Those bitches suck! Yes, I have too stretched out my vagina and a little human popped out and no, I did not give Facebook a full rundown of how many inches i was dilated and what percent effaced I was! You know what else? I did have an epidural, yes I did and it was fucking great I chilled through the whole delivery and didn't break a sweat doing it all natural like all you other whores. Saying that felt great.
Hayasaka-chan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a mother (fertility issues are so damned frustrating), but even I can see how full of shit these women are. I really try not to get baited into arguing with these people but I can't really help it when I see people like my newspaper adviser (who is damned amazing) and my sister get put down for things that aren't even remotely bad.
The thing that gets me the most are the women who somehow feel they are superior just because they pushed out a kid.
You know what I say to them? "You're not fucking special just because you had a kid. There are 7 billion people on this planet. That is a hell of a lot of women doing the exact same thing you did so climb down off of the high horse." It's amazing the mental gymnastics I've seen women go to in order to get around that argument.
artemisjade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Family bed is best bed. Someday my son is going to sleep on his own. On that day I will be so glad to have half a bed instead of most of a third. I will also weep into my pillow because I miss his snuggles.
Don't let 'em get you down. You may not be a parenting expert, but you are an expert parent to your own kid.
Ryanwins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're parenting is spot on. You're doing what is best for you and your son. And co-sleeping is the fucking boss!!! Unless you drink/smoke or do drugs in which case you are a monster.
logicx24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slow down there, Oedipus
VampireSurgeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you seen the horrible, disgusting blogs some moms make to belittle women who bottle and formula feed their children?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A-fuckin'-men.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagining your son is 29 makes this a lot funnier.
MumBum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised people get at you about co sleeping. I was frowned upon for not letting my kids sleep with me. One of my ex coworkers has her 1 year old and 6 year old sleeping with her every night and somehow her husband fits in there too. Whatever works for them. I couldn't sleep with kids in my bed and no matter what I did, my babies didn't sleep through the night, so it was their crib they slept in!
shinjithegale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Baby-led weaning, yo. Crunchy points plus you get to give an infant whatever.
missalexa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like a great mom and your kids will be more well-adjusted and able to cope than crunchy-mom's special snowflake asshole.
itotallyshitmypants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I volunteer my dick to choke them with.
alblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what I don't understand is where are all the dads in this? I never hear "...as a father". Are women just more prone to this sort of thing, because of the labor of birthing? I mean it's one thing to be proud of your kid, but another to be proud of the act itself.
ibbity ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:26:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's because there are certain social circles where being a mother is pushed incredibly hard as THE defining experience/role for a woman. A lot of these women (at least the ones I know who are like this) have been trained their entire lives to see motherhood as literally the only thing that makes them have any meaning or value as human beings. So of course it becomes the only thing they are capable of thinking or talking about, and of course it becomes a giant competition between them to see who can mommy best, because not mommying better than everyone else means that they have failed at the one and only thing that they believe they exist to do.
alblaster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:58:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't anyone tell these women that the 50s are over?
ibbity ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:02:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One would think, but when every single person in your social circle thinks like this there's no real incentive to look outside and see if it's any different out there, because by the time you're old enough to start questioning shit, you're usually too brainwashed to bother.
alblaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's like the stepford wives.
ibbity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
only WAY more obnoxious
thirdegree ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:38:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guys would just tell anyone who tried to "as a father" something to shut up.
Flugalgring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a single dad, raising my son by myself. You kind of just roll with it. I gave a talk at a seminar the other day and opened with a story of recently cleaning up my son's vomit (the placement of which seemed to defy the laws of physics). Got a laugh, relaxed me and the audience and the talk went swimmingly.
snugglebuttt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Almost) anything you can do by accident isn't impressive... This one time I threw a football like 30 yards and it landed in a tiny chair and just stayed there. That was accidental and impressive. Babies? Nah.
whistletits ยท 1302 points ยท Posted at 16:24:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations; you fulfilled one of the baseline requirements for being a mammal. What a miracle.
ManWhoKilledHitler ยท 594 points ยท Posted at 17:28:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You managed to do the same thing as every one of your ancestors for the last 3.5 billion years. Well done.
Redbulldildo ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 17:38:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, half of them.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:26:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pssh. Thats obvious. Course women cant do anything but clean and give bir... Wait a minute
xkcd_about_that ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:19:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On one hand, every single one of my ancestors going back billions of years has managed to figure it out. On the other hand, that's the mother of all sampling biases.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:20:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's always bothered me how people go "OMG CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ACHIEVEMENT!" when someone gets pregnant, even if she and her bf are 19, have only worked a couple of crappy jobs, haven't even started college, and have only been together for 6 months. Now I can generally understand some level of congratulations, but the way a lot of people go about it it's like it's some huge, difficult and major achievement.
Sure some people do actually have a hard time conceiving, but for most people it's not that difficult. Most people manage to do it too, often multiple times.
Taddare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Like, when as the last time you saw someone get an accidental doctorate?
That would be a celebration.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm accidentally getting a bachelor's that I didn't mean to. Whoops.
bluescriblles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure only half of anyone's ancestors had this ability.
ManWhoKilledHitler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I suspect that numerically speaking the majority of my ancestors were single celled organisms, but I know what you mean.
Taddare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, do they get pissy when you point it out to them that a majority of animals can birth and raise young without killing them off.
just_redditing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And my dog did that 20 times...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is it about the process of carrying another human to term that you find so easy trivialize? That shit it violent and brutal and why I refuse to breed- it's too scary
kjata ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:18:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's globally trivial because it's been completed daily for a hundred thousand years. It's only personally non-trivial.
ryan5w4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, not the male ones. Hopefully.
Vicous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't kill Hitler you damn fraud- Hitler killed Hitler!
RidinTheMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But have you? It's not as unimpressive as you're making it out to be
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 20:00:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
edit: ok, downvotes really? Humans exist only since a few million years ago. Granted, mammals from a lot longer, but not billions of years which roughly corresponds to the appearance of life. And the first monocellular organisms are no mammals, nor did they give birth or nurture their offspring.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:09:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:00:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's right though.
Please, don't be that guy
OrbitRock ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:56:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your actually right. 3.5 billion years ago was when we believe life began.
Those organisms reproduced by splitting in two. Bitch, you don't do that shit. You lay back and allow a mutlicellular reproductive organ that itself is more complex than any species that was around for the first few billion years of evolution penetrate your body and rub itself until it bursts out a freaking army of cells to swim up into your egg.
Call me when you undergo binary fission. Then we can talk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Correct. Mammals are only about 200 million years old. Don't downvote this guy, you shits.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AlenaBrolxFlami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was already at -2 with only the "million" correction.
BuffyCreepireSlayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I know. And then you edited it to whine about it. Like I said, nobody likes that guy.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He had a really low score when I saw it, so I wasn't annoyed by it. But I do always downvote "I know I'll get downvoted for this..." comments.
Sendrummazing ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:52:58 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Um...to be technical, there hasn't been life on earth for that long.
ManWhoKilledHitler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:46 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The oldest traces of life currently known are 3.7 billion years old.
HowBoutDemMons ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 00:54:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I see your point at how these mom's are annoying, but lets be real here, being a mom is no easy feat. Yes of course it changes you forever, but these people are just being dicks about that.
_TheGreatDekuTree_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:15:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And now I know what to put on a card whenever my friend has a child
Gutterlungz1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats on giving birth without dying?
BW_Bird ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:18:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, you need to have a child to be a mammal?
... Shit
jiggleback ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.theonion.com/article/miracle-of-birth-occurs-for-83-billionth-time-775
GGProfessor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I can't even get laid, so that's something for them to brag about.
PersistentHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm using this on my old lady the next time she has the I gave birth excuse
OverQualifried ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I <3 you.
portiafimbriata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, this will be my new go-to response to pretentious mothers.
Serpentpig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women can give birth while in a coma
tumblewiid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LMAO
Bladelink ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:10:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally the primary purpose of your female body's existence.
MLE71988 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is kind of bullshit. Being pregnant/giving birth is mother fucking HARD WORK. I'm not saying mothers should be idolized but come on...
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but it's the same hard work that every mammal has had to do. You aren't special anymore than I am for eating something today.
MLE71988 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't realize I claimed to be special.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
^ wacky housewife
phaqueue ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want this on a t-shirt or something... I love it
monkeyleavings ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:16:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No kidding. And the source of their expertise? Their own experience and a couple "mommy blogs."
Jesus. Read some fucking books.
Actual books by actual childhood development specialists.
I'm not saying that it will make everything easy or you won't make mistakes and I'm certainly not saying that you need to go down the rabbit hole of fringe parenting techniques or the latest craze. But having the fundamental knowledge of important developmental benchmarks is kind of crucial. And learning measured responses to different behaviors will keep the tantrums in the toy section to a minimum.
You'll read the directions to your stereo receiver but you think you can just...wing it...when bringing up a human fucking being?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:33:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Giving birth takes less skill and knowledge than making a quesadilla. You can't make a quesadilla by accident.
lolagranolacan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:33:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I expelled four kids (one at a time, I'm no side show act) and I learned that yes, you can expel something the size of a small moose from something the diameter of a bottle of Coke. I'm not sure got much else from it, other than maybe Demerol isn't enough GIVE ME THE GOOD STUFF DAMNIT!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:02:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the first time in their lives they've been entrusted with any level of responsibility and only because nobody could stop them. Being in charge does give you a high and if you don't have all the experience with the hard work and suffering that generally comes along with it then you start to say really stupid things.
Noggin-a-Floggin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:16:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's one girl on my Facebook I keep around if I ever need to get angry (we all need to express one emotion) because she is a santimommie, a total bitch (she'll straight insult you if you have even minor differences in perspective) and ultra-conservative as fuck.
When her husband (cool guy who I got along with but damn I have no idea what he saw in her) changed his Facebook profile picture to Wolverine she left a comment saying "Your daughter is cuter" and all of sudden he changed his profile picture to him with his daughter. I mean, I don't want to say "whipped" because that's a bad term but what do you call that?
pennyfontaine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think whipped, though a bad term, is accurate in this instance.
See also, balls in handbag.
Chem1st ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:37:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my sister. Since she had kids she's turned into a real bitch. Went from non-practicing to pushing religion on the kids, and won't speak to my mom because a couple years ago she made a really poor decision, and now that it fell apart and my retirement age mom can't give her $10K+ my mom is the bitch.
My parents have asked me not to speak to my sister because they know I'll call her on her bullshit and my folks don't want us to not be speaking.
SirAzrael ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:52:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A while back someone I knew years ago posted a question about giving her infant Tylenol before or right after vaccination. She said her doctor specifically said not to do it, but she decided she had to because her kid started crying. She then asked people if she should just go ahead and give her kid Tylenol before the next vaccination, and I commented with links to information about why it's a bad idea, which were then followed by 20 other people saying "Oh I did it with my kids and they were fine, so don't worry about it." My information was ignored. I don't understand why people ask for advice if they're just gonna ignore it...
BALD-GUY-90-AMA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin has turned into this and it is infuriating.
cls4n6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sanctimommies---love that. I'm stealing it. Thanks
FictionalWriter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's uncomfortable finding out which ones are now "perfect moms". The ones who use to get trashed and let guys take turns with them in the woods are now sactimommies that will jump on you the moment arises.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. this. this. Fuck. I am 30, I've had two kids 'from my body', and I want to punch other females who are like this.
Gankstar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a father (heheh) I can attest that it is a learning experience and you do end up learning a shit ton of eye opening things from having a child. So much so I believe having children changes people. Changes the core of who they are, their moral compass and their beliefs.
This is what you are probably seeing.. that or women go batshit when the squat a kid out. Gonna get downvoted but guys... The babies suck chemicals from their brains or something. No proof but its for real! RUUUUNN!!!
UpvoteThisAmGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing that is funniest to me about these "sanctimommies" is how irresponsible so many of them were to end up pregnant in the first place. There is a large percentage of them that were having unprotected sex while in a non serious relationship. An unplanned pregnancy with a high risk of STI as a bonus... sounds like they already have a history of poor decision making skills.
Of course their response would be "having a baby changes you." Yeah it does but if you started from a place of good decision making I bet you would have changed into an even better parent.
ibangonkeytars ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, I have a Sanctimommie on my friends list who thinks the sun shines, rises and sets out of her child's ass and has had everything in life handed to her (seriously, her mommy bought her her own business)
She constantly posts annoying statuses with her way overweight for a toddler pertaining to something about 'the true meaning of life, what the meaning of happiness is.'
thewhaleshark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for this wonderful addition to my vocabulary.
ghotierman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sanctimommies" FTW.
slurredspeech ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw Soleil Moon Frye (Punky Brewster) on some talk show where she was talking with some authority about being a parent, like she was an expert. I think there was a book involved. I was thinking: "Who cares what you think? You were Punky Brewster and you gave birth! Big deal!"
deedubfry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:45:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As I've gotten older I've noticed the Mommy Mafia more and more. My wife doesn't get invited to things that her friends throw because she's not a mother. But this group really like to badger her about when she's going to have a kid. It's like they went instantly Stepford Wive-ish the minute they had a kid, forming some weird cult of mom-ness.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this is 75% of the girls I went to high school with
brandysnacker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sometimes you have to make yourself feel that way or you'll constantly question whether you are fucking your kid up; you are
Vamking12 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:22:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Expelling people is hard work mane, I would grow a ego to.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like how if someone gives birth at age 17, they are uneducated and hated for it. But a 19 year ild in college gives birth and shes like a national hero with a PHD.
GeneralMalaiseRB ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:11:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Join us. Jooooiiinnnnn uuuuusssssssss
solzhen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:39:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the hormones make them crazy
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 15:43:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:51:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's easy for you to say, you have 10 years to work on kicking the habit. It'll be a lot easier for you though because your wall will always be empty.
wilsonjj ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 15:52:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i had a mother in all of my education classes in college. because she had kids that were elementary age she just assumed she was an expert in all things covered in class. became quite annoying.
mousicle ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:22:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
we had one too who also raged about how bad home-schooling was. So her being a mother gave her incites to everything about teaching high schoolers but every other mom was a moran. Oddly she didn't end up getting hired despite teaching French (the most sought after teachable in Ontario)
cardinal29 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:27:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
insight
moron
dubs77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you were so rude until I realized there are two misspellings
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair moran was intentionally misspelled. incite I have no excuse for
dexmonic ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:30:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Insights* and moron*
j4kefr0mstat3farm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then why the hell was she there?
Polite_Werewolf ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 17:28:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching TV once and a political ad came on and a woman said "As a mother, I don't like being lied to." I guess she was fine with being lied to before that.
[deleted] ยท 235 points ยท Posted at 16:00:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Crypt0Nihilist ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 18:20:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not even then. Being a mother doesn't mean that you are a good one, an informed one or an experienced one. It is simply an appeal to authority because we tend to give mothers elevated standing in our society.
Rmanager ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:37:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There really are times people spout off the stupidest shit about children that makes you want to scream "you aren't a parent you fucking retard! Your 'theory' means jack shit!"
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:47:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Rmanager ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:02:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We aren't talking about experts in a field. That would be replacing "as a parent" with "as a behavioral scientist."
I'm talking about peers that think they know anything about what it takes to have a kid. "I would never let my child..." Yeah. Those people. Have kids and then tell me what those books say.
TapirsAreNeat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes. My childless sister was giving me shit about having a repeat csection. Telling me how she read blah blah as if I haven't and as if I haven't spoken to my doctor about this. Being a mom may not give me special insight into everyone else's situation, but I certainly know my own and probably spend more time talking to OBGYNs and pediatricians than someone without children. Also, if you aren't planning on having children or in a field caring for children, your opinion is less than shit. I don't want to hear about that article you read on buzzfeed.
Meatslinger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And if you're being asked for input of that nature, you certainly don't need to preface it with "Well, as a mother..."
I think we need to simply ban the phrase altogether.
Reddit_Moviemaker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a father I feel the same way.
No, sorry, I asked my wife. We disagree with you.
notHooptieJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
to me it means they couldnt even responsibly use contraception.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:55:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that phrase is never acceptable because it does add anything to the discussion and gives you no special knowledge.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:58:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:25:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just perpetuated the stereotype of the original comment and one or two others in this thread.
Tell me, what is one thing that you think is unfathomable to me that having a child would make me understand?
T_______T ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:24:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"As I mother I now have shifted priorities and goals in my day-to-day life as well as in the long term. I have new sources of concern, worry, stress, and joy. I spend my money and free time differently, and as a result am considered a to be part of a different socio-economic group. I am now a target of a different type of marketing and political campaigns. I did not fully understand how motherhood would affect me until I became a mother. I had my guesses and superficial understanding, but I could not truly understand what being a mother was like until I experienced it, and it's still constantly changing. It feels completely different than volunteering with youth. I can, for example, quit being a counselor, a teacher, tutor or mentor, but I can never not be a mother anymore. I can be 100 years old, my children have children of their own, and I will still be a mother. Even if my child should perish before me, I will still a mother, and I view the world differently as a result. "
Doesn't matter if the mom is absent, shitty, or rich or poor, it still changes the world view. There is still a minority of mothers who are complete shit (abusive, neglectful, completely absent, etc), but we would not give them credibility when they say "as a mother..." anyways. When someone says "As a mother.." they are speaking about their feelings and perspectives that give them a bias or insight, and that phrase doesn't automatically discredit what they are saying, but contextualizes it. This may be anecdotal, and anecdotal evidence is not appropriate in a classroom study. The problem of those classrooms isn't people saying "as a mother..." but believing that their anecdotal evidence is superior to empirical ones.
"As a reasonable person, I think helicoptering children is suffocating and unnecessary. As a mother, I tear my hair out trying to resist holding my arms out under my kid at the jungle gym."
"I try to not take my limited sick days when I'm sick, or vacation days when I need a break, because as a mother, I may need those days for my kids." Or, even more tragically, "because I intend to have a child soon and maternity leave isn't provided for temp workers or contractors." "As a mother, I worry i have to sacrifice my career because my husband's workplace does not provide paternity leave."
I don't we can really comprehend or empathize what it's like to need to leave a child with someone else when we don't want to, and when we believe shouldn't need to, unless we have children ourselves. Granted, these examples are also feminist examples, so "as a woman" or "as a parent/guardian" would also fit here, but we should not dismiss the phrase by itself.
TapirsAreNeat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very eloquently put. That about sums up my feelings. I try not to preface things with as a mother, but yes, becoming a mother has shifted some things.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im sure you know exactly what my 100% objective feelings are.
Also, what does
even mean? Im far from matching any of my parents ideological and political opinions but they aren't ignorant or stupid enough have any problems with it what so ever. it is a complete non-issue that makes me think you yourself have these issues for bringing them up.
When your answer is 'My feels are more feely than your feels!' your credibility goes out the window. If you want to talk about personal emotions then you shouldn't try and talk to someone with bipolar who will blow your feels out of the window without even trying or wanting to.
You seem the one to be getting defensive and projecting your problems. I was having a rational discussion and you brought up all the emotion and feels talk and being defensive or whatever it is your point is.
UpvoteThisAmGirl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:32:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is silly. Of course no one can understand any other person's personal experience. That is the nature of it. It is subjective. You could say that about anything.
I love chicken! You have no idea how much I love chicken because you are not me. You have no idea what I would be willing to do for chicken I love chicken so much I would murder a man for chicken.
You also have no idea how much any non parent loves anyone in their own life. Perhaps they love their nephew in the exact same way that you love your child. You simply can't ever know that it is different.
Just because your love for your own child eclipses any other love in your life does not give you some special knowledge. Plenty of people don't give a shit about their kids. You act like the parental experience is uniform for all people.
The most you can say is that you have a special understanding of YOUR child's needs that all other people do not. That doesn't even mean that your understanding is correct. Parents do the wrong thing for their kids all the damn time fully believing they are doing what's best.
nobody_from_nowhere ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:14:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure I'm buying those 3. Your kid? 'As a mom...' Is grammatically flawed. Child care? O to the hell no, your anecdote isn't significant. Asking a person about being a mother? Seems flawed like the first one and a bit sanctimonious.
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 16:43:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:30:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
rage up, sane mike
flotiste ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, Calm_Down_Mad_Mark!
novelty_bone ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 15:51:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's the worst in a college setting. that can be a whole lecture of baseless disagreements and useless stories.
V900 ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 16:34:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then what they say has absolutely nothing to do with being a mother.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:45:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... it's time to have a woman in office!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:31:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ill finish that for you.
As a mother i think Hillary Clinton should be president because shes a mother
CupcakesOnMyFace ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:29:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...mostly don't know what the fuck I'm doing and I'm just making it up as I go along. Don't tell the kids."
thatsabitraven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'll break them in some way before too long, don't stress! I broke mine by a c-section and formula.
wetwater ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:49:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see you know my sister-in-law.
JaiOhBe ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:38:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"FUCK YOU, MOM."
TheMantisStrike ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:02:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I gotchu covered there, buddy
NoLongerAPotato ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:34:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But your arms aren't broken!"
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Son, Are your both arms broken ?
MetalManiac619 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:27:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a..."
abqkat ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:17:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes, your credentials/ experiences are relevant, though. Surely, a parole officer might have some insight into the systemic issues surrounding crime? Or a NBA player might know some things about athleticism? I think the difference is that a credential must be earned or somehow out-of-the-ordinary. Being a mother isn't really a credential
Lochifess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thing is, the people with credentials don't really use the "As a..." phrase in any kind of conversation. They'll probably just straight up tell their insight without needing to assert their authority over the matter.
FlashpointJ24 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:07:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a _____..." basically translates out to "Here is why my opinion is more valid than yours."
parentingandvice ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:14:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which is sometimes true.
time2kick_some_back ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:37:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Talking out of my arse..."
enulcy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Suspending all rational thought for a second...'
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have several instances where this really changed the course.
The first time, I was taking an abnormal psychology class during a summer session. This man had so many stories about being a great father after going through a lot of therapy. ALWAYS had a story. Borderline personality disorder? Yeah, he went through that diagnosis. Depression? You bet. Anorexia? Of course. Possible multiple orgasms for females? Well, he had STORIES.
Anyway, this guy wasn't in class one day, and the professor says, "Oh. He's not in class. I condensed all my lectures just because I knew he was going to tell long stories. I guess you're all dismissed early, then."
My second experience with parents ruining the class was in a juvenile justice class a few years later. First day of class, the professor asks why everyone's taking the class- most of us are in the class because we were studying criminal justice, social work, or psychology. This one woman raises her hand and starts aggressively telling the whole class, "YOU'RE ALL HERE FOR THE WRONG REASON. I HAVE A 14 YEAR OLD CHILD, SHE'S OUT OF CONTROL AND I NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHY SHE'S GOING DOWN THE WRONG PATH. SHE'S A JUVENILE AND WILL GO TO JUVIE. SHE'S ALREADY DYED HER HAIR, AND ASKED IF SHE COULD GO OUT WITH HER FRIENDS THIS WEEKEND TO THE MALL. WHAT IS SHE GOING TO DO NEXT?! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, I CAN'T RAISE A SOON-TO-BE FELON."
I ended up skipping every class except for exam days.
wackawacka2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't want to be her kid.
TheBraveSirRobin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a person who had a mother...
VulvaAutonomy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, as a mother, I hate this. There are just some parents with this endless stream of shitty advice to make others feel shitty about their choices. At the end of the day, having a child doesn't automatically qualify anyone as an expert of anything. It's experience and education that does.
AsAGayJewishDemocrat ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:28:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is when it's a girl who's younger than me and never finished high school.
Whatever you're about to say is wrong. Just so, so wrong.
AndrewL78 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:12:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother I believe that clear, consistent and fair discipline is best."
It can be reasonable. If someone has experience doing something, they generally have some credibility when speaking on the subject. As a person, I have witnessed this many times.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Alagore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, pretty much everything has a reason for occurring no? Cause and effect and all that?
BigGreenYamo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to post anything that starts with an "As a..."
But then I realized...yours is the worst.
Also, "as a...." is sometimes ok in documentaries. But only if it matters to the story.
GloomyDino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coming into this thread I expected this to be the top comment
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This irks me to no end. It's not like grunting out a crotchfruit instantly imbues anyone with a miraculous sense of wisdom.
Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean my opinion on how some idiot "parent" should discipline theirs is any less valid.
rj20876 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a father, I have an ex wife who I have to deal with doing this shit. I wish Seth Rogan would cunt punch her.
porgy_tirebiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "As a taxpayer..."
BadWolfBella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Been a preschool teacher for ten years.
If I hear that fucking phrase again at the start of some bullshit answer as to why the mother is soooo much better at taking care of kids, I will punch her.
casholmes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol if anything becoming a mom made me realize I don't know shit. I was great in my nursing classes but now it's like:
"What does this rash mean?"
"Fuck if I know, let's google it"
pudface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think of this when I hear that phrase.
The_Legend_of_Jaelon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
....can shut the fuck up and sit your ass down somewhere.
MayoFetish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use that all the time. I am a man.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No . . . . No . . . Quagmire, until you have a child . . . . . . Until . . . You have . . . . a child . . . You will not understand
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The other day on my Facebook a woman I knew from college posted, "Mommies out there I need your help, can I hard boil eggs by baking them in the oven?"
What does being a mom have to do with baking eggs? Also, search that shit online because finding out an answer will take less time than typing out that Facebook status.
kernunnos77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Counter with, "If someone gave you a giraffe, with no chance to refuse it, how much would you know, at that time, about taking care of a giraffe?"
Or you could go with: "Hitler's mom knew how to raise a baby, too. I mean, he didn't die in infancy or anything, so she must've been doing it better than a lot of the moms back then."
StovardBule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Comedian Bill Bailey: "Which appears to mean 'Suspending all rational thought for a moment...'"
moo0039 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disowned my kid for coming out as bisexual and emotionaly abused him and did nothing when his farther physicaly abused him. Sorry i thought we where going on what our mums did to us.
IthinkImnutz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother I...." Have ONE single data point!!!!!!
Yea, people like that drive me crazy too.
chappersyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...have children" is the only acceptable way to finish that sentence.
ikorolou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, if they're saying. "As a mother I breastfeed" I can't really find issue with that. Or "As a mother I understand that kids can be little shits" or "As a mother I am good at changing diapers." Those are all valid statements.
But "As a mother I find millennials to be really lazy" really doesn't need to include the fact that you are a mother.
luckysevensampson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've literally never heard this outside of the context where being a mother is totally relevant to the conversation.
parentingandvice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a father, ma'am, you just embarrassed ALL of us"
Gsusruls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Make it a point to respond with, "As a cat owner, I ... "
nubsauce87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Until you have a child..." Yeah, no, fuck you. I am a grown-ass man who can think for himself. I am entirely aware that my priorities will likely shift when I have offspring, but that doesn't mean I am too fucking stupid to understand that.
CocoDaPuf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That just makes me think of Pregnant Women are Smug
Bamzooki1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tale care of kids.
LinksMilkBottle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I finally heard someone say this in one of my classes. Turns out she is a major weaboo who draws shitty anime art.
qazaibomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I was young I asked my mom "So we shouldn't abort because the fetus is a life, but what if it endangers the life of the mother? They're both lives, right? So how do you choose?"
She told me, "Ask any mother, and they will tell you that they would sacrifice their life for their child"
It took me a few years to realize that only mothers get abortions
Alex_The_Redditor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about "As a mother, I don't think that children should have caffeine before bed because it makes it harder for them to fall asleep."?
Whiteyy7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's this girl in my graduating class who had a kid senior year, and she always vocalizes her opinions on Facebook.
"As a mother I feel that circumcision is inhumane."
Uh, you have a daughter and you have no brothers. You have no idea. As a guy, I'm very glad I was circumcised. "NO YOU'RE WRONG"
Also, she posts pictures of herself actually topless with her baby hanging off her tits, generally with her nipple showing.
"IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I POST THEN UNFRIEND ME RATHER THAN REPORTING ME. I CAN POST WHAT I WANT. AS A MOTHER I WANT TO TEACH MY DAUGHTER THIS."
you actually can't because of a Facebook's terms and conditions, you can report things that make you uncomfortable and whatnot
mfw_ifuckyourmom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lady I fucked your mom
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a parent I..."
Darjeeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this one is mentioned several times a week around here
2gudfou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
lol why does this make you dislike someone? If someone said "As a mother I know how painful childbirth is so trust me when I say you want to take the medication for the pain when it's offered" to a pregnant woman, I wouldn't have a problem with it.
mustardhamsters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who wrote a book about some projects he did with his daughter. Then I was mortified when I introduced another friend to him and she asked "as a soon to be mother" why he had "Dad" in the title.
He's a dad. It's his book. Write your own book. You're not even pregnant.
darkskinnedjermaine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't not post Bill Burr's thoughts on the matter.
mrchicano209 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't get how that is some type of credential. Nearly all women are or may be mothers at some point in there lives so what would make that person more special than any other mother?
purplekites ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
UGGGGGGGH I hated this so fucking much in college.
OogieBoogie1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL just reading this makes me want to punch you through the computer screen.
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank fuck I'm a father then. It means I get to give people my opinion 24/7.
JesusListensToSlayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...can offer little more than anecdotal evidence."
KneeDeepInTheDead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i almost downvoted you out of pure reaction
crackills ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always hated this term too but now as a mother...lol j/k....i try my best to not let being a parent be my sole identity outside of my house hold. Some people with children really think their lives are more important then others who don't.
Sarah_Connor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...saved the fucking world."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When someone describes themselves as a taxpayer, they are about to be an asshole."
cjs3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pediatrician here. I only did general pediatrics for a year before specializing...so I knew I wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of lying long-term...but I don't have children. So I lied. Regularly.
Many parents come in with a holier-than-thou "well, if you had kids, you'd understand" attitude. And, while I don't discredit that, the facts are still the facts. I learned early on that, when approached with the question "so, do YOU have kids?," if I answered "no," information I said was immediately disregarded. However, if I said "Yes," I could follow that with "so hold your child by his/her ankle and cut her left arm off with a machete, Jason style, and he/she will learn" and the parent would be accepting of what I was saying.
So I lied.
I invented a kid. Named Trey. He's been through a lot.
goatpunchtheater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*moderator
juicemagic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say any sentence that starts with, "As a ___, I..."
I had a college professor that metaphorically beat it out of you if you ever used that phrase in his classroom or on any assignment.
Swibblestein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...have expelled a tiny human from my vagina, and am confident in his overwhelming worthlessness in all regards for the next ten years, at least."
Apellosine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More generally "As a _____ ..."
StumbleOn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That, and "well tell that to all the mothers out there."
My response: "That phrase means you don't understand what we're talking about, you don't want to understand what we're talking about, and you're threatened by it."
Kignak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations! You had unprotected sex! Weren't you taught never to do that?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A thousand up votes!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did Hr for a stint in a company I worked at and there was 1 woman who butted heads with a few of the employees. Untrained in the ways of ER, I still had to bring her in and talk with her about it. She was shocked and upset I would even suggest that she was being unprofessional towards these 4 Other coworkers and started by saying "As a mother, I would never do any such thing"...
As if being a mother instantly washes away all sins and puts you on the path of a white wizard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Generally any argument prefaced by shit like "as someone who..." Or "As a XYZ" tend to irritate me.
spook327 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Lady, getting pregnant and spawning a child process isn't a miracle. By definition, if two teenagers in the back a Subaru can do it by accident it isn't a miracle."
GV18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I generally agree, but sometimes it is a reasonable thing to say. When it's a topic you're versed in, and something you can give insight to, it makes sense. 9 times out of 10 though, it doesn't.
tumblewiid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a female I..."
"As a white cis male I..."
WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH SPAGHETTI?!!!
TheQueenOfTopHats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother I have children.
SharpKeyCard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A kid popped outta you, not a PhD. Shut up.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
octobersons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I totally get where you're coming from it's just when mothers try to use the fact that that they're a mother in a situation that has nothing to do with that.
peridot_craponite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother, I have to disagree. Materity and child-rearing change practically everything about a person's worldview, including subtle ways that you would not expect. It is possible that mothers really do have unique insights in situations that are not obviously related to motherhood.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NarohDethan ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:33:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, only the stupid, entitled ones.
Someone being a mother does not make them a wiser, more likeable person. There are mothers who understand this and keep their not-mother-coolness.
octobersons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that, it's the fact that some people seem to think their opinion is much more valuable than anyone because they are a mother
treefroog ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:48:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a memer..."
HI_Handbasket ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:10:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're a mother? What a coincidence: I am a motherfucker. Let's combine our talents and make a baby.
forgetasitype ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:48:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But. If you are a soldier, and a person who has never been a soldier tells you what it's like to be a soldier, you would bristle a bit. If you had to sit through a lecture about soldiering and studies about soldiers and it seemed very different than your day to day experience as a soldier, you would bristle and maybe even speak up.
Any of us who has been though something do not like people who have not experienced it to tell us how to do it better, or how they would do it. And most people will in some way discredit studies that contradict their personal experience. Because our own experiences are very personal to us.
It's easy to shit on mothers. We all have one, and becoming a functioning adult requires us to discredit her authority. But if I've done it, and you haven't, then whatever you learned from your own childhood or from a book loses validity to me. Have one or two and then we'll talk.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:39:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"as a ________" is just irritating in general. As a doctor As a lawyer As a woman As a man As a THIS THAT AND THE OTHER THING OMG I DON'T CARE
JaguarGator9 ยท 5811 points ยท Posted at 15:05:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."
EDIT: Since a few people have asked: If it's being used to say "If I'm feeling depressed/injured/lost and you're not there to help me, then you don't deserve to share my joy during the good times," then I have no problem with it. If it's being used to defend otherwise inexcusable actions, that's when I've got a problem with it.
King_of_the_Kobolds ยท 5487 points ยท Posted at 15:33:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my diddliest, then you don't deserve me at my doodliest!"
dezradeath ยท 2513 points ยท Posted at 15:40:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid sexy Flanders
[deleted] ยท 539 points ยท Posted at 15:46:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Homie, I can see your doodle.
Edgefish ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:00:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up, Flanders.
Blasterjaxx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:12:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you like to puff on a reeforino?
Mingan88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:25:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They got divorced.... Because she was fucking Flanders.... That whore.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, give it a diddle.
Z_T_O ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:22:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prepare your diddly hole.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll diddle your doodle if you don't shut up stupid sexy Flanders.
MetalManiac619 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:26:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all.
Yokuo ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:03:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing at all
MortalWombat42 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:36:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing at all
PM_your_tongs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:00:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid Sexy Flanders!
TheFlyingBogey ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:33:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing at all!
Nothing at all!
Nothing at all!
Cheeze_It ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:44:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all.....nothing at all....nothing at all....
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:46:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nothin at all
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feels like I'm wearing....NOTHIN AT ALL!!!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!
chappersyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing at all...
TheLoneWander101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing at all nothing at all
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:59:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like I'm wearing nothing at all! Noth-noth-nothing at all!
Werewolf35a ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:41:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus I was worried it was bill Cosby and I was about to get very sleepy...
StupidSexyFlanders14 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:48:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes!?! Oh I'm late again aren't I. I'm always late.
lady_gremlin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:04:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like I'm wearing nothing at all!
JohnChimpo23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:42:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothin at all! Nothin at all! Nothin at all!..
WireBurningMonkey ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:49:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like I'm wearing nothing at all...nothing at all...nothing at all
ShmimonC ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:21:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're playing sexy hardball with us, Randy.
JadedEconomist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:07:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!
404Notfound- ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:48:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!' 'Nothing at all! '' Nothing at all!' 'Nothing at all!'
[deleted] ยท 852 points ยท Posted at 15:57:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jerbsybear ยท 358 points ยท Posted at 16:18:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NICE LEGS, DAISY DUKES, MAKES A MAN GO doot doot
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:15:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ftfy
Taman_Should ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:17:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sub is the perfect mix of in-jokes and absolute stupidity.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:18:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thank mr skeltal
Space_Polan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
le doot doot
orangepaperlantern ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:59:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
๐บ๐
Vamking12 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:19:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks skooky seketins!
ZobmieRules ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:39:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sookid seksy seketins.
GunsNMuffins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:03:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit is on a fuck load of drugs tonight.
Assorted_Jellymemes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit is on garlek tonite oman /r/ooer
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:27:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BillyQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thank mr skeltal
28if ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:03:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MAN, I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot
ryannp ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:29:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thank mr skeltal๐บ๐
MechaDesu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:28:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thank
ClearSearchHistory ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mr
annul ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
skeltal
Rekz160 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DOOT DOOT!
Skele-tan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No problem.
BillyQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thank mr skeltal
PM_ME_YOUR_FELINE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thank mr skeltal
Deradius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this is going to work, but here goes.
Can someone break down ledoptgeneration culture for me in an ELI5 kind of way? As if I'd never encountered it before?
Are they making fun of something specific? How are they different from circlejerk? Who is Mr. skeltal? Are they making fun of a specific age group?
In general, what is going on with that?
OuttaSightVegemite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doot doot!
HoneysucklePink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
D00T D00T!
Billy_Blaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, thanks
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doot doot
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 22:01:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my fucking god if I see another mr skeltal reference I'm gonna find whoever started it, tear their shins out and cut their throat with the jagged bones.
MelSimba ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:14:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no calciums 4 u
CorkyKribler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thanks mr skeltal
fireyeye ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:49:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
doot doot
hornfan0195 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:07:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dank meme
RnRaintnoisepolution ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my spookiest, you don't deserve me at my dootiest.
KingPhine ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:35:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/king_of_the_kobolds I'm pretty sure I eviscerated you in the mines south of Baldur's Gate
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:42:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Riddly diddly
EmptyBallasts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I need a T-shirt with this on it
ProfessorDiddly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
let's go observe the mulberry bush.
Pip pip do doodly do!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
need me to zinc your snipper?
Hyperman360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my spookiest, then you don't deserve me at my dootiest.
yungcoop ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:41:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
doot doot
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jonny_Magnificent ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle the giggity, you can't get the goo
UncleMadness ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my spookiest you don't deserve me at my tootiest."
sloanalex ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my spookiest, you don't deserve me at my dootiest
Uldyr ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my dootiness, then you don't deserve me at my dootiness.
elborracho420 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The dootiest
[deleted] ยท 2874 points ยท Posted at 15:47:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SpoonOfDestiny ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 17:36:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hail Brodin, Giver of Gains and Inducer of Pumps
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:04:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
toughbutworthit ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:01:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are well on the way to swolehalla
c_stics ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:24:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All shiny and swole
gdub695 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:37:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wheymen, brother.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:40:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Brodin be with you.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:50:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm cultivating mass, try and push me bro
FPS_Kevin ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:15:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a line from Broscience
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:22:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
hornyhooligan ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:55:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SUPASET
dwellerinthecellar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:50:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
set set set set set
ToTheUninitiated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reps for Jesus!
candy824 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 17:03:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go, you deserve it. http://imgur.com/g6bHqEp
shma1214 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 17:41:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can this become a thing and cost like a nickel? I'd make it hail all over reddit
Meskaline ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:40:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look at Mr. Rockefeller here, with his nickels to spare on silver!
shma1214 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:38:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! I'm a baller on a budget biach!
PsychoI3oy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's what dogecoin tips are for
dankisms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, that one's so Unidan. Here, have the shiny version.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:53:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:56:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
stedudley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this guy should take his problem to Marilyn Manbro.
CaptainSnacks ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:59:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
gunshots
ThisdudeisEH ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wheyman
detecting_nuttiness ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:36:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is humorous.
Aptikos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Denouttaden
justaspacemonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me when I bulk, you don't deserve me when I cut."
-The real Marilyn Manbro
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamit this is a quotable quote
vonnegirlable ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:37:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IOU one gold
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:51:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Brahmen
[deleted] ยท 250 points ยท Posted at 15:28:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Rodents210 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:13:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never even seen it used like that by anyone I've known. It's always "at my worst" as in short-tempered, petty, vindictive, underhanded, and backstabbing. And the people I've seen say this have "at their worst" apply to them a good 80%+ of the time. "At their best" just means "the very scarce occasion when I don't feel like being a total asshole."
It's the favorite phrase for many of my Facebook friends (most of whom are more "watch the trainwreck from afar" friends than "actively make an effort to correspond" friends), and all of them are shitty, toxic people who think that the quote means they deserve an SO who will treat them like a princess (or prince in the occasional case) and smile through their every effort to actively make everyone else's lives worse. Basically irredeemable people who think they're entitled to everyone they know being punching bags and sycophants. But man, their disastrous lives are fun to watch.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But when the cycle is daily. Run.
frugalNOTcheap ยท 788 points ยท Posted at 15:28:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I almost downvoted you at first for saying that but then I remembered the purpose of this thread
SomeoneWorse ยท 396 points ยท Posted at 15:43:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently the purpose of the thread is to make the reader angry beyond reason.
๐๏ธ HannibalTheCommander ยท 534 points ยท Posted at 16:00:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Lol'd IRL :D This thread came up when I remembered a situation where I just met a friend's friend and we were eating out. He threw trash on the floor deliberately and when I inquired what made him think that's OK, he just answered "What? I'm giving the janitor some work. That's what they're here for." No motherfucker, you're an entitled brat who has a comfortable excuse. I might kick your teeth in "To give your dentist some work." This interaction made me dislike him immediately. Some time later I found out that it's a common thing people say when they litter blatantly and I wondered what else people say that piss others off.
Abyssx3 ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 17:06:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be a Janitor right out of high school. I worked in the ghetto in a middle school. You know urban kids like to fool around make a mess and graffiti everything. I got kind of lucky and my building assignment was three story structure the first floor was the school's cafeteria, the cafeteria manager was very clean as often times water bugs would get in since the this was the ground floor so by the time I started my shift all the trash bags in the cans were replaced, the floor was swept and in a neat pile. There was always milk and juice on the floor and originally I used to have to mop the entire cafeteria but about a month into the job they got a fancy riding machine that replaced the mopping. So I usually finished the Cafeteria in about an hour. The second floor was the first set of classrooms. These were pretty bad I spent a good 3 hours sweeping, dusting, pulling gum of the floor, painting over graffiti, etc. The third floor had the nicest teachers. They all got together and cleaned up their classrooms or at least had all the kids pick up their chairs at the end of the day. There was most nothing to do on that floor accept put bags on all the already emptied cans. My supervisor got upset with me a few times for not doing anything because he wouldnโt see my garbage can full or my supplies out on the third floor so I got into the habit of bringing up some of the trash from the second floor and tossing in the hallways of the third floor so if my supervisor ever came to check up on me I had something to do.
DesktopStruggle ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:30:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do something like this when I was a janitor. I wouldn't put the trash there but if the boss was around I would sometimes leave it on the floor until I saw that she was coming so I could be seen cleaning it up. She was kind of a micromanager and if she didn't see you working she would assume you were goofing off somewhere or don't have enough to do. I would make sure that I always looked very busy when she was around. There was plenty of work to do usually, but sometimes it would be a slow time of the day or maybe I was just extra efficient that day, etc. Then she'd walk by when you've just finished a task and you're standing there with your hands in your pockets and she'd think that's all you do all day.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:49:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I accidentally dropped my milk once and one of the custodians made a big deal about me having to mop it up. No, I didn't drop the milk on purpose. Yes, it is your job to mop it up. The other janitors were cool but that one was a bitch.
Abyssx3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:56:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh this reminds just reminded me. So the third floor as I stated was always really clean. Let me back up, the hallways all had lockers but the school decided years ago not to assign any lockers to students. Occasionally a locker would break and kids would use them personal trash cans. No biggie I already knew the broker lockers by heart I'd just put my trash bin under it and scoop everything in. The teachers on the third floor all made an effort to keep it as classy as possible and one day the kids had a free day and the teachers decided to ask the school principal for the locker keys and have the kids clean up all the lockers. Nobel idea for sure. But biggest mistake ever. One of the lockers had a carton of Milk. I guess it had been undisturbed for years the hall way never smelled bad or anything but one of the kids cleaning up knocked it over and this black...cheese?...started to ooze out. That hallways smelled like the worst(or best if you're French) cheese in the world for months. MONTHS!.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, that's disgusting. See, I think it's fine that the kids helped clean up. But whoever put the carton of milk in there is an asshole. For a better story, when I was in kindergarten I threw up in class after lunch, and the janitor came in and cleaned it up. She asked me if I was feeling okay and if all my lunch was gone, lol.
RobinBankss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doing a shitty job 1400 times in a row makes a person bitchy. Some of them believe that if they bitch at you, you might be more careful in the future because you had an emotional attachment to the event. There's no way in hell that you'd receive a reward, so you received a reprimand.
TexasThrowDown ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 17:37:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found my answer
The-ArtfulDodger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:57:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The most annoying thing is LOL actually means LoL'd IRL anyway.. it's just people misuse it..
torogadude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't that be "L'dOL IRL" tho
TexasThrowDown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Daneth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While that example is fairly dickish, I make a point to leave something small (such as a straw wrapper or napkin) on my table when I dine in at a fast food restaurant. I can't count the number of times when the employees see that a surface is "clean enough" and don't bother wiping it down after someone eats there. It's gross and leaving something behind basically forces them to clean up after you leave instead of letting another hapless customer discover it.
teh_fizz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:51:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's fucked up. I had a friend like that and immediately called him out on it. He didn't like it and accused me of thinking I a better than him and brought up old shit from the past. Looked straight into his eyes and said "You're right, I am better than you." Picked up the trashed and walked off.
donteatmenooo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Inquired", not "acquired" - I was confused at first.
But OMG you're right, I already HATE that person.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
donteatmenooo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:43:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, honestly I could tell that more because you even attempted to use the word "inquire". Too smart for the common English speaker. ;)
Opset ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DAE feel like they're surrounded by ignorant people without exemplary vocabularies!?
Pls upboat if you feel this way and are too intelligent for people around you!!! XD
Man_da_villan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about the restaurants that give you peanuts while you wait?
wannabesq ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If there's a sign that says throw the shells on the floor, thats what I do. They put sawdust down anyway, so someones already sweeping it no matter what.
Alagore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Texas stakehouses?
Man_da_villan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, you get the point. Most of the places that do it usually have buckets or something to throw them in but if the floor is already covered in shells, would it still be a asshole move to still toss them on the ground?
otsukarerice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Japan, many schools have the children clean the classrooms, the floors, pools, etc. to teach discipline. I would love to adapt that here.
JanitorJasper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That motherfucker...
mbeasy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like you
Irish_RN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Lol IRL" is why I hate you.
Workaphobia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Two things: 1) That's something I might have done and said when I was 8 years old. 2) I haven't even seen people who "liter blatantly" in many years.
Notacatmeow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a janitor I thank your litterbug friend for the kind offerings.
_underwater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I immediately downvote any comment I see with "lol" in it, regardless of whatever other content it contains. You asked.
ThachWeave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that'll be my answer for this thread: "Lol'd IRL."
NAD1A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I liked this so much I upvoted, saved it, and now I'm telling you how much I like. ๐
wiz_killa ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:23:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
xDDDDDDD AYY LMAO AMIRITE!?!?
Jawbreaker93 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:09:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a cousin who works at Walmart. He throws trash from his lunch in the parking lot as "job security" for the parking lot crew. Not some I really expect from a 36 year old.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/minionhate
/r/punchablefaces
have fun
Notmyrealname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to post this.
JordanSM ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:13:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In other words; "I'm a bitch."
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:15:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this
souIIess ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 15:38:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If that were coming from a guy, that quote suddenly sounds abusive as fuck.
HenryKushinger ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:53:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:28:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Girls just use it as an excuse to be cranky and selfish. Basically to act like babies. When I think of a guy's "worst," it is generally more extreme than that.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:21:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The gender discrimination is pretty important here. And that's because we still don't take emotional/psychological abuse as seriously as physical abuse still. And that's ignoring the fact that a woman can be physically abusive at her "worst".
Also, it's given in the context of men being expected to handle everything because women are inherently unstable. Women are excused from emotional immaturity because they can't help it, they are constantly at risk for being at their worst. However a man being at his worst a sign of overall weakness or plain malevolence.
StationaryShopMoved ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:59:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
She spoke her slogan, well-rehearsed,
And oftentimes expressed:
'If you can't take me at my worst,
You don't deserve me at my best!
So there!' she grinned, content with glee,
And pompous proud delight -
Emboldened by banality,
And self-important trite.
'Al-right,' I said - 'I'm gone, and glad,'
She turned with dark dismay,
'You see - your worst is really bad,
Your best is just okay.'
AlekRivard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:55:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Next time someone says that, respond: "if this is your worst, then your best isn't worth it."
SteroidSandwich ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:51:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know it was a Marilyn Monroe quote til recently. Now I see why so many asshats think it is okay to say it.
teresathebarista ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:22:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not. She never said anything that vapid and I hate every basic bitch that misattributes that and other stupid quotes to her.
SteroidSandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good to know. I read it on Reddit she said it. Guess Reddit lied to me again :/
teresathebarista ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:23:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of the quotes misattributed to her are about how great it is to be a shallow bitch or "lol random"! She was actually a very introspective, intelligent woman. One thing she did say was, "Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you $1000 for a kiss and 50 cents for your soul."
LeopoIdStotch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Forget it.
SteroidSandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Already done
TheLastWondersmith ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She spoke her slogan, well-rehearsed,
And oftentimes expressed:
'If you can't take me at my worst,
You don't deserve my best!
So there!' she grinned, content with glee,
And pompous, proud delight -
Emboldened by banality,
And self-important trite.
'All-right,' I said - 'I'm gone, and glad.'
She turned with dark dismay.
'You see - your worst is really bad.
Your best is just okay.'
-- /u/Poem_for_your_sprog
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:27:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one who has ever said this has a best to match their worst. At best they're boring and vapid, and worst they're a vindictive asshole. Pretty much 100% of the time.
TheFairyTaler ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:49:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Once upon a time, in a village by the Old Wood, there lived a young man who had become quite smitten with a maiden named Madalyn. She had hair the colour of sun-drenched wheat, and she was shaped like an hourglass, with bright blue eyes that reminded him of cornflowers. Infatuated with her beauty, the young man asked her if she'd be interested in eating a meal with him. Madalyn agreed, and that very night they dined at the young man's house. He had slaved all afternoon on a lavish meal that had cost him most of his money, and he was giddy with anticipation. When Madalyn arrived though, she opened her pretty mouth and immediately began to complain about everything. She whined that the wine was too bitter, she bemoaned that the boar was too dry. Curiously enough, the more she complained, the uglier she became. Towards the end of the meal, the young man was shocked to see a completely different woman sitting across from him. Madalyn was in fact a hag! Noticing his flummoxed gaze, Madalyn snapped waspishly, "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best!" The young man shook his head and replied, "don't worry; I don't want to handle you in any way." And he kicked her out of his home and drank what was left of the wine thankful to be by himself once again. The End
Flugalgring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have to admit, I like a moist boar.
dontgivethemyourssn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
K, bye.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Appropriate Response:
'Buddy Christ' pose
walk out of the room
pirarchy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me in a shirt, you don't deserve me in a vest.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a great poem by /u/poem_for_your_sprog about this, I'll try to find it.
mzajac14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey you're that jags fan from r/nfl
ThachWeave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's never the mentally stable chicks that post Marilyn Monroe quotes.
drketchup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The sentiment behind that is actually not bad, it's just been co-opted by cunts.
"If you don't want to deal with me being a bitch half the time then you don't deserve me" is not what it's supposed to mean.
Evanderson ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:29:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't downvote me for asking but why is this such a big deal? I always see it on reddit and don't understand the hate. If you're in a relationship you kinda need to be able to handle that person at their worst
JaguarGator9 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:32:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A bunch of people use this phrase as an excuse to act like an awful human being and to get away with whatever they want.
I can understand the quote in the case of times and health (ex: If someone gets seriously hurt or a loved one dies and you can't be there through the bad, then you don't deserve sharing their joy during the good times). But, if you're using it to defend stupid, immature behavior, then you're probably not having a bad day and are just a horrible person.
Evanderson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhhh ok, I interpreted it the way you did. But ya I hate people like that
mamamurrz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:27:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get your initial reaction, when I first saw this I was in high school so people were still figuring themselves out and had a hard time being there for friends or girlfriends/boyfriends during hard times. I always assumed this meant "If you can't handle it when I'm crying over my dead grandfather or sick and disgusting in bed with the flu, you don't deserve me when I'm dressed to the nines having a blast at a party." But then college hit and it became the mantra of all of the overly dramatic people who were at their "worst" 95% of the time and expected their significant other to cater to that nonsense rather than trying to better themselves.
Evanderson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:39:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I get it now. But I feel like someone could say that and mean it in the good way. I'm not gonna hate people that say that unless it's obvious that they use it as an excuse to do whatever they want.
mchlyxhn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even Marilyn Monroe didn't mean it in a good way:
โIโm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you canโt handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell donโt deserve me at my best.โ
She was just trying to justify her bad behaviour as part of who she is. Fortunately, Marilyn Monroe's best was pretty damn spectacular, so she got to knock boots with JFK and Joe DiMaggio. No one who uses that term these days come close to looking like Marilyn at her best, so there's no justifying their bad behaviour because there's no upside that counteracts the downside.
WombatBeans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a cousin that is a BIG fan of that line, and yet she wonders why she only attracts total loser douche canoes...
MyMostGuardedSecret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its not that I can't handle you at your worst. It's just that you're such a bitch that your best isn't worth the trouble.
Vamking12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" Your worst is so bad how can your best be good? "
fikis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my Zook, you don't deserve me at my HBC"
per your username.
CropDuster33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The mantra of every whore ever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my spookiest you damn sure don't deserve me at my dootiest
dripdroponmytiptop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
which, ironically, completely fulfills its purpose, if a man hates a woman simply because she uses that phrase, doesn't it?
like, now you've left her alone and won't bother her anymore simply because you realized she holds this belief, and you're probably the type of person she would also hate, so... it worked out perfectly.
does nobody notice this?
badjuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me on the manic down-swing, you'll be sick of me by the time I get to the up-swing"
DovahSpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best." -Adolf Hitler
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
see, but that's something that makes sense if used correctly. I struggle with depression and at my worst, I'm pretty...not fun to be around. I've had plenty of fair weather friends/partners that wouldn't even talk to me while in that state, only wanted to hang out when I was having an up day. that's annoying. I don't want a friend that will only be there when I'm already happy, I want a friend that will be like "look bitch I know you're having a tough time let's make cookies and tea and just sit in the dark with them listening to whatever music you want ok? ok."
JaguarGator9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the key... if used correctly. If you use it correctly, I don't have a problem with it.
It's when people use that as an excuse to justify their behavior and everything that they say.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know who couldnt handle marylin monroe at her worst? Marylin fucking monroe!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I especially hate all these quotes attributed to Marilyn Monroe. I'm a fan of hers and all of those "You can't handle me at my worst", "Imperfection is beauty, madness is blah blah", "If you're going to be two faced, make one of them pretty", etc. drive me NUTS.
NickeKass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you cant handle me when Im still living at home with my parents you dont deserve me when I save up for the single wide trailer"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CIRCLEJERK! CIRCLEJERK!
GeneralJabroni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read: "My personality sucks so I need to imply that I might have my good moments without outright saying it because it's not true, I'm a bitch 24/7."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shitttt, I don't even have a best, top that!
newloaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one actually says this though, they just piss and moan about it on reddit.
imthemostmodest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ace reply:
"You know who couldn't handle Marylin Monroe at her worst? Marylin Monroe."
Blabernathy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. When I hear this I assume the worst. If you can't handle a person at their worst, odds are their best isn't much better.
abigblacknob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The issue with these chicks is that I'd rather have Marilyn at her worst than you at your best.
SamsungGalaxyGreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand what's wrong about it. It makes completely sense to me, anyone mind explaining what it gets so much hate?
ReservoirKat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhere, I have a mug that says, "If you can't handle me at my worst, I understand, cause I can't either."
Crypt0Nihilist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree. I think it is very considerate for a girl to tell me that she is bitch at the get-go so I can find someone else to be with.
The best never makes up for the worst in those who advertise it, neither in quality nor quantity.
MamiyaOtaru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if I can't handle you at your worst maybe you should stop being so horrible
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my spookiest, you don't deserve me at my dootiest."
thanks mr skeletal
Runningwithvanhalen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is supposed to refer to money not how you act
Nervousemu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've noticed that the people who say shit like this are usually the people who cause a lot of problems in friendships/relationships.
my-chemical-warfare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It should be "If you can't handle me at my worst, I don't deserve you at my best"
AttackOnTightPanties ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This saying is what people with crappy personalities use to excuse their crappiness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely.
If you can't control yourself from being a complete piece of shit at your worst, you don't deserve anyone at your best...
cranberry94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I can see how this could be interpreted in a reasonable way. Like, not wanting someone that will just be a fair weather friend/significant other.
ANALTONGUEFUCK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not even Marilyn Monroe could handle herself at her worst....
Tattered_Colours ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why people think Marilyn Monroe, is any kind of role model is beyond me. She was a porn star and actress who slept with the president and died of an overdose.
PhxSentry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even better when it's quoted on someone's dating profile. That's a red flag.
boot2skull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If my flaws are too much, walk away quickly"
Wu_Master_Dutch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crazy ex-girlfriend logic
screams_forever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my boniest, you don't deserve me at my dootiest.
mchlyxhn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find people who use that quote to be vapid as fuck, although that's just anecdotal. These women can't look past Marilyn Monroe's superficial traits and see her for who she really was. If you were looking for a role model, some lady with mental issues that got passed around by the Kennedys and ended up abusing drugs and overdosing is a pretty shitty candidate. If that's a woman's worst, then her best won't be good enough for me to give a damn.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every fucking thread, I swear to god.
AOEUD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh... I had no idea it could mean anything other than "If I'm feeling depressed/injured/lost and you're not there to help me, then you don't deserve to share my joy during the good times".
And then I felt heavily judged by reddit because I feel that way a lot of the time with my many fair weather friends.
Arumple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even Marylyn Monroe couldn't handle herself at her worst.
letsgetrandy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say this, I actually insist that the opposite is far more truthful:
If you can't handle me at my best, you deserve me at my worst.
StackerPentecost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, friends have heard this from girlfriends who were fucking crazy and horrible.
imadethisafterpao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"to be fair marilyn couldn't even handle herself at her worst..."
always the appropriate response if they post it with a pic of her on facebook
JeF4y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2 words debunk that statement if you ever hear it.
Chris Brown.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience any girl that uses that phrase you need to run as far as possible away from.
esemef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my Durst you don't deserve me at my Fredst.
KfuckinPowers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, it's because I'm a fucking psycho."
GrouchyOldBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always told my GF, I still can't tell the difference.
Liebonaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Correct responses:
"Honey, if this is your worst, your best ain't worth it."
"You can't handle yourself at your worst, so you sure as hell don't deserve anyone at your best."
"Good."
Johnny_Fuckface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No explanation needed. What most people don't realize is that anybody who would say that kind of shit is a Gold medal drama queen.
lamprey_condom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had an ex who used it to mean "if you can't sympathize with me when I am irrationally angry at you for literally no reason whatsoever, you're a fucking piece of human shit."
GrammerNaziParadox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is literally a top comment on every thread even vaguely related to this one, it's pretty much a karma whore's dream comment (not saying OP is a karma whore).
maladjusted_peccary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my Durst, you don't deserve me at my Fredst.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IME this is only ever used by people who want to use it as an excuse for being a jerk-on-wheels
sohetellsme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my spookiest, then you don't deserve me at my dootiest.
jbabco2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my durst."
DietaryRhubarb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my saltiest, then you don't deserve to see me at my dankest."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crazy girls love to quote Marilyn Monroe.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/365rlk/what_saying_annoys_you_the_most_why/crb09rp
LSDMTCupcake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like it would mean more coming from Magikarp than Marilyn Monroe
bjorkstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought of it more like if he can't handle you at your Forever 21, he doesn't deserve you at your Michael Kors
trapezoid117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I can't be the best , then I can sure be the worst !
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've literally never heard someone say that. And yet, people bitch about it on here incessantly.
Joy_Ride25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of idiots needed an explanation for this well known phrase?
Native_Musician ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know this bitch who has a "dating requirements" list. This was on the list, but right before it was, "If you're going to be depressed/mad/negative in general, don't be around me because you will make me depressed/mad/negative." I don't know how any sensible guy could look at that and think, "Yeah, that seems fair."
CannotStopTrueLove ยท 373 points ยท Posted at 14:53:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not a phrase, but that shrill super-loud laugh people give when they want to show how much FUN THEY ARE HAVING WOO HOO! Not to be confused with a genuine laugh.
blazik ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 15:54:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, people with annoying laughs. I feel bad for hating it but deep down it makes me hate the person a tiny bit.
Valdrax ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 17:50:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone with an annoying laugh, I'm sorry, I hate the way it sounds in recordings too.
However, I'm not going to stop and muffle myself. I've let too much joy in life over the years be dampened by self-consciousness over the way my laugh sounds. Ya'll can just deal.
blazik ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:51:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no doubt, I don't want you to change, it just makes me slightly hate you in an irrational way and there's nothing you can do about it. Other than that we could be the best of friends.
MakhnoYouDidnt ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:28:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you make fun of the way someone laughs, they'll never want to do it around you.
blazik ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:30:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't tell them, I just secretly brood hate.
doe127 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:05:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure I have an annoying laugh but when I'm having fun it's hard not to do it :(
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hope you don't like wheezing, because I do that often.
blazik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a bit of that too sometimes, nothing like Seth Rogen but just a bit. Even I get on my nerves sometimes with my laugh.
trickyverisimilitude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like it, adds a bit of character
Crook_Lid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when people see or hear something funny enough for a little chuckle, but end up making this shrieking noise that ends up just hurting my ears, because apparently it was that fucking funny!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:50:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
fort_wendy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can imagine a female Beavis.
AtoZZZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:30:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Kitty Forman laugh?
Jas0nta11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MY GODDAMN LITTLE SISTER EVERY TIME WE HAVE GUESTS
KillaDilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know, don't you just hate it when people are having fun? Fuck those people.
BettiePhage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sister, oh fucking hell
Not_A_Unique_Name ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:24:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know right! Every fucking chat with people I know from real life is spammed with the hebrew version of HAHAHAHAHAHA and its fucking annoying, they don't even laugh they just spam it.
When someone really laughs he should just write lol and even that do only in a chat, not in a fucking fourm(that's for the people who write lol in Reddit).
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:14:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you the internet police?
Not_A_Unique_Name ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:37:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No but LOL and "this" don't add nothing to the topic, they are just spam.
2059FF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HHHHHH ?
shirshine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ืืืืืืืื
That's the letter that makes the "ch" sound, like in chutzpa. theres no vowel indicated (Hebrew vowels are mostly for beginning readers), so it technically could be translated as HHHHHH, but the a sound is assumed.
Source: Have a lot of international FB friends, know how to say "haha" in about 20 different dialects
Not_A_Unique_Name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have no idea how annoying it gets, I wish I would know who started this trend so I could go back in time and kill him.
spambot_3000 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:13:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alrite I actually don't know what this is
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine a group of white girls in a limo on prom night. The sunroof opens and they stand up in their seats so that their heads and torsos are outside of the vehicle.
At this point, they all raise their arms above their heads and make a loud "WOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW" noise.
But it's not an open-ended "wooo" like how you'd pronounce "John Wu". It's somehow got an accent. The "oooo" rhymes with "whew" or "ew" more than "too", if that makes sense.
That's the laugh. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEW!!
Ptyronodon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:05:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Commonly followed by a fake snort to prove how genuine the laughter was.
smilenowgirl ยท 246 points ยท Posted at 16:47:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Women/men/blacks/whites always..." No. No they don't.
hyper_sloth ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 00:45:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have DNA?
bigmeaniehead ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
throbbing erektion
jungl3j1m ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:19:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But Siths do always deal in absolutes.
brightneonmoons ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:47:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
most people who say that are Jedis tho
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or so they'd have you believe.
brightneonmoons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to point out that it's always the Jedis who say "ONLY the sith deal in absolutes".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:25:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I got that. And I was pointing out that by saying that, the so-called Jedi outs himself as a Sith.
doinstuf ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:33:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then what are comedians supposed to make jokes about...?
AtoZZZ ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 03:38:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's different. Before everyone decided to become PC, comedy was fun and people understood it as a joke. Now it's all just labeled as racism, and you'll hear from the SJW police
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BRB Not politically correct.
Datorias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:47 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say stuff like woman always and men always is it really that bad?
BTW I don't use it in a derogitoty fashion only if I noticed similarities and differences between the sexes.
heap42 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:23:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women are always female.
edave64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shitlord
AsthmaticMechanic ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 20:01:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, "Women/men/blacks/whites never..." instead?
icouldnotpic ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 20:11:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But but but men always have penises. It's true.
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:24:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly it's not. Jimmy here lost his jimmy in the war.
RyanB_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not true depending on who you ask.
[deleted] ยท 183 points ยท Posted at 15:43:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I gotta tell you something! Never mind!"
shevrolet ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:06:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to tell you a secret! ...but I shouldn't...
bitch, don't tell me then.
Buy-the-ticket ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:29:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OH MY GOD I HATE THIS SO MUCH
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh what you fucking asshole!
Fine then never mind.
later on social media
I hate when people do this!
Atheist_Simon_Haddad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's time-sensitive, but not important.
amb5267 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boss does this constantly. Runs over like his ass is on fire saying "I've got to talk to you about something!" then wanders off and forgets all about it.
UnexpectedColonoscpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Senpai notice me ;-;
snowywish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should watch romance animes.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:15:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Autism
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 7105 points ยท Posted at 15:01:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Rules are made to be broken"
No motherfucker. Rules are made for literally the exact opposite reason.
[deleted] ยท 1259 points ยท Posted at 15:36:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
โLook, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em.โ
-Lu Tze in Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett.
Reclusive-Lightbulb ยท 656 points ยท Posted at 16:08:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There is no pint in doing something unless someone, somewhere, would very much rather you wouldn't." ~Terry Pratchett
[deleted] ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 18:09:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You turned the quote super Irish.
PotatoeCrusoe ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 21:10:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It comes in pints!? I'm getting one." ~Peregrin Took
waywardwoodwork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ee, by gum lass, mine's a pint."
MandMsPasta ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:46:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If there is no pint what size does Guinness usually come in?
2slow4you ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:41:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if there's no pints involved, what's the point of doing it?
oi_rohe ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:30:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GNU Terry Pratchett
thirdegree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GNU Terry Pratchett
tilsitforthenommage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:19:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There rarely is a pint
aidan2784 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But the pint is what makes it fun!
MrKupka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a typo, because PINT is still very effective here.
Reclusive-Lightbulb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:46:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a typo. The original said point.
80Eight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:24:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's going to give me gym motivation. Every time I want to quit or slack off, I'll imagine some fat person cheering me on to quit.
RetartedGenius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Illegal is a sick bird
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 17:17:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Quotes be dank, yo"
~ Terry Pratchett
OfficialYakuza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:28:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
-michael scott
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
OfficialYakuza ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:36:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally do not know what you are on about
waywardwoodwork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That formatting got me all woaaahhh
cross-eye-bear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:53:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey buddy maybe fuck you !
Monkeyavelli ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 19:57:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, what 4edgy8me bullshit.
"You need to take a shower, son."
"Why bother?"
::sigh:: "Son, don't take a shower."
"Fuck you , Dad, I'll show you!"
c08855c49 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:13:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should read the books.
phantom713 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone should read the books.
c08855c49 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, they should, which is why I give everyone I meet a Discworld novel once I know which one they would like best.
takahe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No you don't
c08855c49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even know how to respond to that.
[deleted] ยท -33 points ยท Posted at 23:03:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kjata ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:09:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, then it's a good thing /u/Reclusive-Lightbulb didn't.
chaosmosis ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:40:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't think Prachett was witty, then you must not think anyone is witty. I agree sometimes specific lines fall flat, but he's really good overall, which is why he's one of the most popular authors of the UK.
focalplane ยท -26 points ยท Posted at 03:57:35 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, and you believe that the "most popular" authors are the good ones, eh?
chaosmosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:11 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes. Yes, in the case of Prachett. Feel free to disagree if you like, but there's no need to be a condescending dick about it.
Reclusive-Lightbulb ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:30:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I got that sweet karma.
jgzman ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:03:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the more considered version. I like it much better.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:35:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower, than to curse the darkness." -Pratchett
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:23:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thief of Time is fantastic
Answermancer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sweeper always gets an upvote.
MedalsNScars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally named my Puzzle Pirates character after that character.
I was thoroughly disappointed to find out that he wasn't in other Pratchett books, after that being my first.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:17:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's in Small Gods, but only as a minor character.
DanHW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He, or at least the monks, are in Snuff too.
R1_TC ยท 5595 points ยท Posted at 15:17:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of like how bagels are definitely not made to be fucked.
straydog1980 ยท 803 points ยท Posted at 15:19:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THEN WHY ARE THERE HOLES IN THEM
R1_TC ยท 1591 points ยท Posted at 15:22:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DO YOU REALLY THINK EVERYTHING ON EARTH WITH A DICK-SIZED HOLE IN IT NEEDS TO BE FUCKED??? HERE LET MET JUST FUCK THIS FUCKING CHAIN LINK FENCE
straydog1980 ยท 1287 points ยท Posted at 15:24:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of us. One of us.
malfilatre ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:21:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gooble gobble gooble gobble
Truckyouinthebutt ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:55:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gooble gobble, gooble gobble!
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:20:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
gobble gobble one of us
1920sRadio ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:45:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This scene legitimately made me extremely uncomfortable and I never have that reaction when watching movies. That was a great film.
Marafon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now I must know... What movie?
Top_Gorilla17 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:17:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The movie was called "Freaks".
Here is the scene in question.
1920sRadio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:27:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Freaks (1932) I recommend it even if you think its not your type of movie at first. Its worth watching through to the end.
Oafus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:27:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We accept you, one of us.
Arpikarhu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:50:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, the use of that reference made me laugh real hard.
Seanmed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:45:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin savage
EpilepticAuror ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:07:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gooble Gobble, Gooble Gobble.
Cheezitz59 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:22:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gooble gobble
Deathlord291 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of us. One of us
dezradeath ยท 204 points ยท Posted at 15:42:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good. Now you're learning.
____NotPutin____ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:41:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
grunts and slight jingling noise comes from background
Welcome to the Internet.
degistered_remocrat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Use the force, let your anger guide you
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:11:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have an incredibly girthy diamond shaped dick.
MistaCatballs ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:47:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have fun with that
-14k- ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:43:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have a square dick?
R1_TC ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:06:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Metal can bend, you know.
-14k- ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:45:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have a metal dick??
R1_TC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I AM IRON MAN
DarnTootinPatty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a dick medal.
Johndough99999 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:33:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With enough lube, anything is possible.
pm_me_nudes_or_feet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:05:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just here in my backyard with my new uh, chain link fence here. Fun to fuck in the dick sized holes."
heyitsBabble ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:15:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
for me its more the hole in a polo mint
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:56:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm.... Chain link fence is a new one, let me know how that one feels
NocturnalEmissary ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:18:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a link between worlds... of pain
befenpo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:12:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
chill with the humblebrag dude
BloodyErection ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:51:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Challenge accepted
misterbig97 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:31:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, that's something people don't do? I need to make some calls...
OneReasons ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:36:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't matter. Had sex.
OodOudist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BZZZZZT! FUCK, WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME IT WAS AN ELECTRIC FENCE???
ColonolSexy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:44:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ โกเฒ
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
RelaxPrime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Allholesare
NDaveT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope your tetanus shots are up to date.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just need a tad more lube.
Sobertese ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not every dick fucks every dick-sized hole.
Just as not every vagina swallows every phallic-shaped item.
But if you search deep enough, someone somewhere has stuck a thing where it didn't belong.
Some18mysandwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh... You shouldn't fuck those either?..
eyeclaudius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:09:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yeah! Finally someone is talking sense. Let's go fuck some fences!
Kiefer0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of shadey-ass chain link fence do you have?
jaxxon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dick sized hole? Here. Let me fuck this highway tunnel.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you have a dick with a square cross-section that's rotated by 45 degrees or so, why not go right on ahead and fuck that fence?
Lemwell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why else would Cheerios have holes? *Drop the mic
Messisfoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that the normal size of dicks?!?! All this time the doctor told me I just started growing at a young age and I believed him!!!
EasyxTiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your dick is weirdly shaped.
modern_rabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dick sized hole? Bagel? Wut?
frazaod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How'd it feel?
ominousgraycat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, the holes in chain link fences are dick-sized? I must be smaller than I thought...
laquerhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So how was it?
ThisisIp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have a chain link fence shaped dick?
dcostalis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but you can't microwave a chain link fence.
ugandariches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dude fences are my fetish
SICCNESS206 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
C'mon bro, we've all stuck our dicks in chain link fences. Next your gonna tell me that not every man has put his dick in the speaker box hole.
aliasname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Challenge accepted
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sea cucumber. Even looks like a penis but has a hole. So, it's a flesh-light, and a dildo in one.
And yet it farts out its own intestines if you touch it. Wouldn't sex it. Your point is valid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sea cucumber. Even looks like a penis but has a hole. So, it's a flesh-light, and a dildo in one.
And yet it farts out its own intestines if you touch it. Wouldn't sex it. Your point is valid.
everythingsleeps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
mrhong82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. Maybe YOUR dick size.
MelanisticPolarBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's big enough for your dick?
edditme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard a bagel hole being described in those terms. My condolences to your SO.
RancidLemons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those things are an orgy waiting to happen
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES IT DOES. THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO DO IS FUCK DICK SIZED HOLES AND YELL AND PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET. THEM ARE THE RULZ
Bonolio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mangoes have no hole and that has never stopped me.
Kraymur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have an oddly shaped dick my friend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was that supposed to be rhetorical?
IsThatWhatSheSaidTho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to hear that
addysol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:47:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if a bagel hole counts as dick sized
goodgulfgrayteeth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:12:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So they'll cook completely...
Stereojunkie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:30:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHY ARE THERE HOLES IN MY BELT? WHO PUT THESE HOLES IN MY BELT!!?
maratumba ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:07:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're loop-holes
slicksterbob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CHECKMATE, ATHEISTS!
boot2skull ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You want cream cheese with that?
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was my defense at the rape trial. It didn't go well.
Tarcanus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TO BE ABLE TO HANG THEM ON THE BAGEL DRYING RACK
Erenito ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:26 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen brother!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ATE THAT!.. Do I like taint?
Themiffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you can hold it on your finger and eat it.
reddcolin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tagged you as "upvote this dude" because of this thing that got archived. Let it be known. It is done.
straydog1980 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's so sweet of you :)
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 6582 points ยท Posted at 15:22:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Rules are meant to be broken bro
warmbutteredbagel ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 21:06:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hey cutie. wanna meet up later? ;)
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 21:08:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. God yes. Poppy seed? I love me some freckled bitches.
warmbutteredbagel ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 21:11:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got Poppy seed if you've got the Papi seed =)
adequacy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:17:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to get some popcorn. I like where this is going.
warmbutteredbagel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:48:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got extra butter if you need it
adequacy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:17:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh.. Fuck yeah.
Cybergazer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:20 on August 27, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I trade you some of my Soda for some popcorn. This show is starting good!
theBesh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you feel about Bagel Bites?
keelimeguy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:07:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the actual relevant username..
7up478 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 21:01:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This guy's OP by the way. It's kind of amazing how everyone keeps saying "relevant username" despite not looking at the fact that like two lines up OP has the same username.
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 21:07:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shut the fuck up I was getting dank karma
BrewCrewKevin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol I know, right? The guy responded with the bagel thing because of his username. It wasn't some coincidence that he saw something really relevant to his username.
ofa776 ยท 1342 points ยท Posted at 15:31:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
5 month old account. Color me impressed.
Forikorder ยท 431 points ยท Posted at 16:03:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well /u/R1_TC brought up fucking bagels on purpose though
SoloQueuer ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:21:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Way to take all the magic out of his life again Carol.
psuedopseudo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Way to go, Paul.
newloaf ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:00:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Classic R1_TC, amirite?
morvis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:49:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I can't imagine any circumstance that it would have been typed accidentally.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But /u/R1_TC kindly did not mention running fucks, hot asphalt nor rolling, so a bit of credit is deserved for some self-restraint, eh?
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 20:54:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:44:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He replied to me you dense fucks
Sex4Vespene ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 16:34:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You realize that the bagel fucking guy is the op of this one comment string right? He didn't just come out of nowhere, he was replying to a reply on his comment.
mynewaccount5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He at least he doesnt have sex 4 vepense
Bossballoon ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think /u/ofa776 was impressed that no one took that username beforehand.
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 16:09:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What color is that? Like a blue shade?
backstept ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:33:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/ofa776 is more like a teal color
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:45:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Neat!
talking_to_myself ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This thread has far too many coincidences with usernames.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, karmanaut.
3brithil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:35:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
next time don't reply to him... he is talking to himself afterall
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm him anyway, so your advice falls on deaf ears.
Sniper_Brosef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stop dad! Go fuck another bagel.
roreads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Royal purple
APPLEZACKS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More like orangered
Poem_for_your_sprog ยท 3150 points ยท Posted at 17:22:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When Timmy stopped inside the store
To buy a loaf of bread,
He came away with something more,
And left with hope instead.
The other kids had girls and boys
To court with youthful glee -
But Timmy played with games and toys,
For all alone was he.
'But now,' the happy lad opined,
'Those lonely times are through.'
His bagel waited, well-designed.
He broke a rule or two.
psysium ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 17:36:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I make bagels for a living. Will share with all of my coworkers.
Bonus fact: The lesbian version of this is called 'bagel bumping'.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 21:18:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Fuego_Fiero ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 22:48:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a good way to get a yeast infection.
Experiment24 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:23:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ba dum tss
Undecided_User_Name ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 04:17:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:43:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
just gonna let that one sit there like that, huh?
fauxpapa ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:56:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Faguette.
psysium ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:24:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I find baguettes to be hard and crusty. I prefer a hot bagel.
BigUptokes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you bathing that bread?
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:06:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to cry. You and shitty water colour are my favorite redditors.
FORCEFUL_FISTING ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:07:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing, as always. You do you, boo.
EpicTacoHS ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:45:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow a /u/poem_for_your_sprog without gold.
Color me impressed.
_TheGreatDekuTree_ ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:11:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't, Kevin ate my last crayon.
PRNmeds ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:59:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Kevin.
159258357456 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:59:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have the power to make a difference.
Change begins with you.
Be the change that you wish to see in the world.
-Mahatma Gandhi
Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time...
-Barack Obama
They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
-Andy Warhol
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
-Anne Frank
KendasKerman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
>Andy Warhol
Lol
Unbelievablemonk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:08:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is glorious! Bravo
AWildWilson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're almost at 1000000 karma, congrats :)
civilian11214 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had gold to gild you for every awesome poem I see you write. It is such a cool thing a lot of people not "in the know" are missing out on. You should really publish a book, however i'm not sure how you would deal with "intellectual property" of the commenters' posts you write about.
StankWizard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That last line just killed me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This might be your magnum opus.
UNSTABLETON_LIVE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is your best poem, by far. Bravo. You're a master of your craft.
militant-moderate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someday...I will comment on something. People will think it brilliant and give me sweet karma...then world famous reddit user poem_for_your_sprog will write a funny and enlightening poem...just for me...and I will weep sweet tears of joy.
SoulFire6464 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love you now.
azrhei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are one of those rare people that makes the world a better place by gifting it with your art; I am so very glad that I stand witness to your gems on occasion.
embaked ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can you please start a religion - i'll willing to go all out jihad for you
TomRizzle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Another poem or so and you'll hit 1M karma!
LucidicShadow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn your verse has gotten good.
brightside03 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good heavens.
filthy_sandwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A genius of our time
RiverwoodHood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as someone named Timmy, can confirm bagel fucking.
TyrannosaurusMax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't realize how much I'd missed you.
EpilepticAuror ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:06:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God damn it, did Timmy talk about Fight Club?
Timothy_Claypole ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:45:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have yet to read a mediocre one from you.
This is great.
Neosantana ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:27:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We love you, young poet girl
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It has been revealed in his AMA that /u/Poem_for_your_sprog is, in fact, a boy.
Neosantana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT? Then why was it so commonly viewed with him being a girl?
frerd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't seen you in awhile. So nice to run into the sprog again
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BRAVO, SIR, BRAVO
RonnieReagansGhost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting for watercolour to come paint this poem
funknut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sprog for ye, mate.
FroggerWithMyLife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
duuuhh uhrrrrrhhhh
Guhhh gu guhhhhh duhhhhhhh HUURRRH!
Duh...duh...duh?
Huuuuurrrrrrrrrr!
3u77s3cs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are older than two broken arms.
LegendaryMuffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You never fail to impress, good job.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:20:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bravo. 10/10 with cream cheese.
Jumbojimbomumbo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:34:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God dammit that was beautiful. Even if it was about a child fucking a bagel.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:10:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even though the parent comment is obvious, it's always a pleasure to see how your poems turn out. Well done as usual.
Lemwell ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:59:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck
Cosmicpalms ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:30:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is anyone else over these fucking poems
Faera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The answer to these questions is always yes.
You and the other assholes on reddit.
Cosmicpalms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's worse.. Expressing an opinion? Or calling someone an asshole. Glass houses and stones or something like that
Faera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see an opinion here, it's a question.
Well I never claimed to be good or anything...
coat-tail_rider ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:56:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
She threw her hands up in frustration
'I left my fucking purse'.
Mere minutes from her destination,
'This day gets worse and worse.'
She turned the car around and floored it,
the engine gave a roar.
She raced home madder than a hornet
and flung open the door.
The only words that she was able
to think of as she sees
her son who's balls-deep in a bagel:
'I hope that's just cream cheese.'
actual_13_year_old ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:23:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck
AlphaDonkey1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you like 13 years old?
actual_13_year_old ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IM SO RANDOM LOL XDD
MOAR_cake ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:21:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bagel-fucking was only brought up because /u/I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL made the original comment.
cool_slowbro ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:54:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you be impressed? He made the original comment that R1_TC was responding to.
bschef ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:07:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you impressed if you don't mind me asking?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:46:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He wrote the original comment in this thread
gubenlo ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:49:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoosh?
Babill ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:08:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you... special?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:36:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I respond to a response to my comment my account is still the same age.
rednecktash ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
look back at the reply chain
RockFourFour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't. I have Rose Art :(
Outkikked ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The long con.
Digital_Rocket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry I appear to be lacking that crayon.
kuruslice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wish granted! Unfortunately for you I'm not very artistically gifted...
http://i.imgur.com/VsvNrYah.jpg
wagz1890 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is that impressive
sowrcreemandunion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
!remindme to color him "impressed"
Level126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That account is literally OP though. R1_TC was making a reference to his name in his comment so...
Lurking4Answers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Makes me wish I had a sweet novelty name. Clearly it means a minimum of 4x karma.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/R1_TC replied to the bagel fucker in the first place.
BananaTurd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you not see the original post? Not much to be impressed with.
nothanksjustlooking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it from a song? I can't remember any of the lyrics except for, 'and I'll do it again.'
myweekhardy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interestingly, I instantly do not like when people say "color me ___". Sorry buddy. It just gets to me and I don't know why.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He had you fooled. Parent poster was created just for the sweet, sweet karma. - /r/conspiracy
Brutalitarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for not saying "checks out" or "confirmed"
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:07:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, checks out.
Brutalitarian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
niceme.me
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:57:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit
probablyhrenrai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'll do this option, thanks. Updoot.
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
๐บ๐บ๐บ
Nattylight_Murica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I suspect some broken bagels too.
Liniis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like buildings. Or people!
The_Outcast4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you the asshole roommate I used to have that put the bagel back in the bag after he fucked it?
Nick-912 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As are bagels.
feanturi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Glorious.
Spyzilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the old Reddit bagelroo
twenafeesh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhh! Don't tell anyone! Just bask in the karma that you didn't earn!
balancespec2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll admit I didn't realize you were OP until you said so
howtokillgod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
kudos on using "gilding" instead of "guilding"
I have a sickness, I know
2PointOBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That edit. You're a different variety of Redditor.
Earfdoit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure most people who use that phrase use it in a joking way like you just did.
Aqua_Deuce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like you yo
wheeldog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One thing that makes me discount someone immediately is if they say 'BRAH'. Where did that come from anyway?
thisnameisrelevant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly.
downsetdana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL you can get Reddit gold by being a sarcastic hypocrite.
KickedInTheDonuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
upvote for honesty
logorogo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But does he own the account he replied to?
StaticDreams ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:29:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's more of a "guideline"
Alwaysinadaze ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:27:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone's obviously never bought a bagel fresh out the oven before.
PsionicBurst ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT I'VE BEEN USING BAGELS ALMOST ALL MY LIFE FOR THE WRONG PURPOSES?!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know man, it's a pretty small hole..."
ThatOneTwo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if they're shaped like pussy holes?
HalfDerp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wish I read this 11 hours ago
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now grapefruits on the other hand..
KevintheNoodly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:57:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SCHHHCCCHHHSCHHHHH
mundaneclipclop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, they can be fucked. It's kosher.
nullstoned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They aren't?
pjabrony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have gotten much more pleasure out of bagels in my life by eating them.
metricbanana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pies
FTFY
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. I think I know that guy. There was a party at my house and my friend who works at a bagel shop comes over and brings a bag of bagels. Later on this dude is trashed and declares he's going to fuck the bagel and then goes into the bathroom and comes back about 5 minutes later with the bagel looking fucked.
Bjorn, I hope that is you.
skippythemoonrock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Neither are hot pockets but that didn't stop that guy
Bagelasauris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:(
Blueeyes1101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but they're asking for it
iheartfigs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just bagels though, everything else is fair game.
Spicybagel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's fine. Really.
HOLE_IN_YOUR_BAGEL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But what else am I here for?
R1_TC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if only you'd joined the thread earlier :(
SnailForceWinds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Says who?
Halfpasthammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Never put a bagel there"
just_redditing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, that's not a rule.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well beats that speaker I used to have
DefiantLoveLetter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Butter's in the fridge!"
boredbrat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:35 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I was really loving my morning bagel
myhairsreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't judge me!
alblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
depends on the kind of bagel. Know what you call a seagull that flys over a bay? A bagel. You can fuck those.
bfd1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying that the hole if just for show?
DrDisastor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:11:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It says nothing on this Lenders bag about what I can and cannot do with this bagel.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:45:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I Thought That's Why donuts Have Holes And Cops Love them
320519 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:58:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But then why are they made of sexy?
Nirbush ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:06:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
umm speak for urself
[deleted] ยท 1114 points ยท Posted at 15:28:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like buildings... Or people.
StealthNL ยท 208 points ยท Posted at 16:11:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stand still... I'm trying to shoot you!
NocturnalToxin ยท 168 points ยท Posted at 16:47:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I aaam crazy, I've got a doctors note!
MsBennet ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 17:23:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's just behave... said no one, ever.
danjo3197 ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 17:28:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You think I'm crazy! You should see my sister.
Unbelievablemonk ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 18:11:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Jinx... ? Stands for Jinx
ItsSansom ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:06:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm wearing lots of belts...
...
...
For no reason at all
demonsoliloquy ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:16:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No.
It's: Jinx? Stands for Jinx.
It's a reference to Vi, who says her name stands for violence.
StealthNL ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:17:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And vice, as well as vicious.
Unbelievablemonk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:46:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Knew sth was off. Will fix
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:54:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear all these in her voice and it's annoying
EmperorSorgiva ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:59:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Her voice is pure gold.
Piterdesvries ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just soak it in
ConfusedPillow ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:23:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jinx? Stands for Jinx! Durr.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:49:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta love Jinx.
KounRyuSui ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:54:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She's such a loser, always ready to cry? Chachachachaaaaaaah~
EnerGeTiX618 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had a girl at work say this statement frequently with seriousness and to be fair, I wouldn't fuck with her. She'd even tell people she just met! Out of everyone else there, we believe she'd be the first one to bring in an assault rifle & do something really stupid. She got a job somewhere else thankfully!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
EnerGeTiX618 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I didn't know that but I know she isn't a gamer (she talked about EVERYTHING in her life, whether appropriate for work or not) & I can assure you she didn't quote a video game. She was & is, the definition of "bat shit crazy", 5 minutes with her would change your outlook on that one! I feel bad for her in a way too..
WarBloodXyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. I got it, thank you for your time.
Fgame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'You need to settle down, invest your money'
'You know I can replace you, right?'
vicksy ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 16:27:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just what I came looking for.
lukaswolfe44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah me too. As soon as I saw it, thought of it. Probably because I just played a game with her.
Zephandrypus ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:20:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dumbass Jinx forgot the neutral monsters.
fishdude89 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:18:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if I had a gun that shot OTHER GUNS?!?!
codsane ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:30:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I knew I would find this somewhere.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:27:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no man i called adc first
OfficialNT5 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:42:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jinx<3
Minimalphilia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a Jinx quote?
justdontfindme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Poozer62 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you think I'm crazy, you should see my sister.
Acnfire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scrolls down to looks for this. Was not disappointed
massafakka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Best lines in game along with braum
Thelocalgaspump77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
R/leagueoflegends is spilling out again
Aerobast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You jinxed it
UnexpectedColonoscpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are... things you stick your dick in?
Jambi95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just got excited.
ihopkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone pls tell me why Jinx is so flat chested
Satans__Secretary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"A man has every right to blow up his own building!"
Branfreeze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jinx stands for...
Bladeration ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
looked for this. You think I'm crazy? You should see my sister.
bunwinkle ยท 146 points ยท Posted at 15:18:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to come up with a phrase that expresses the sentiment that "rules are made to be broken" intends to convey. Something like "Fuck you and your stupid rules" but maybe less crass.
dont_let_me_comment ยท 412 points ยท Posted at 16:05:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The fences are for the cattle, not the rancher"
SinkTube ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:12:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And for the sheeple.
Impal0r ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:51:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tips
SuperAlbertN7 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:46:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Favourite phrase of the sovereign citizen movement.
dankisms ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Free Inhabitant"
100percentkneegrow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:19:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty badass.
AppleDane ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:22:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only dead fish follow the stream."
Flugalgring ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:42:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do live fish do? Climb onto land and ride around on a little tricycle?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:33:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Follow the swarm. Not much better, but it takes more work.
AppleDane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They go upstrem, spawn, and die.
Not the perfect example.
digitalsmear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:05:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the live ones more or less stay in one spot waiting for food to float their way. Not the greatest example. :P
lphaas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:10:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Alpha
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 18:02:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well done good sir. I will be stealing this.
cross-eye-bear ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:54:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
gentlesirs do not thief!
MysticKirby ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:12:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Screw the rules, I have money.
GreenMansions ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:19:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An elegant Russian proverb: "When all official doors are closed, a forbidden window is open." I love that.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:59:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That russian guy's girlfriend was on her period and he was trying to convince her to do anal.
Chem1st ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:30:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rules are made for those too stupid to govern themselves.
theshinymew64 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:21:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Screw you and your stupid rules?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:07:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have had it with these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane.
LaughDream ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:39:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath."
phillyFart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:11:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
โA just law is a man made code that squares with the moral law or the law of God. An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law.โ
โAny law that uplifts human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust.โ
"One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust lawsโ
bunwinkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which one of these should I use when I urinate in public?
ReallyJadedEngineer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rules are only there for people who don't know what's going on.
inthemachine ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously. Love that bagel face doesn't get it.
r_plantae ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:45:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you follow rules without question you are no more than a slave
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:42:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think bagelfucker or his thousands up upvoters understand this.
I'd be depressed if I didn't choose to suspect that most of those upvotes were bought.
Ah fuck. I'm depressed anyway.
asdf072 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:33:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Related: In the military we had, "In a perfect world ..." It's intended to imply a rule is impossibly difficult to uphold in the current situation. In reality, it's almost always a lazy copout for not doing the things you should. Hearing that phrase infuriates me.
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:34:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like anal in some states. Or sex with animals.
asdf072 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:37:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Wait, what?
CluelessZacPerson ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:54:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That actually means that there are always exceptions and alternate points of view.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's not what most people mean when they say this. It's usually said by some self-centered twat with a massive sense of entitlement who thinks him or herself to be the only exception and should receive special treatment or allowed to do something illegal as fuck.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't help when almost everything is illegal as fuck.
KTFlaSh96 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:44:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like buildings.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OR PEOPLE!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OR GREGS
His_Support ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 15:28:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Rules are made to be broken, like buildings or people!" -Jinx
johnbutler896 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:28:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Such a loser, always ready to cry
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come on, let's just start shooting!
MistaCatballs ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:47:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like how steel beams are meant to be melted by jet fuel
shpongolian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, can this happen?
G_Morgan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:08:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your rules are merely my guidelines.
AlekRivard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What does it feel like to fuck a bagel?
PuffPuffPassAgain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like being married.
frankhaaz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase is "some" rules are made to be broken, implying that they are bad rules.
TitaniumBranium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is how I feel.
TheParagon_MarvelUni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that was a quote
DaWaifuLaifuChoseMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rules are destroyed to be unbroken?
toolschism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"that is against the rules/illegal/etc" is just as if not more annoying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, rules are made for the lowest common denominators.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
boring ass bagel fucker.
Forlarren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Creative destruction bro.
CrazyBastard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a better one: never expect someone to stop because of the rules.
CanadianODST10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like buildings?
Dragshisballsz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://images.wikia.com/leagueoflegends/images/3/36/Jinx_Select.ogg
mbleslie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
depends... in the art world if you strictly follow the rules your work will be boring. you have to break the rules, in a very self-aware manner (it's pretty arbitrary) to gain originality
dunmifflnfinity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And not the "new" kind of literally either.
WhoNeedsKarmaAnyways ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When men are pure, laws are useless; When men are corrupt, laws are broken. - Benjamin Disraeli
BALD-GUY-90-AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Notice how most people who say that are scumbags?
_TheHalfTruth_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all seem to be forgetting the obvious "God damn I hate niggers." That kinda pisses me off
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that phrase just means that you need to brake rules over and over in order to find out what exactly is wrong with them and how to fix them. it's like hacking an antivirus. you do it to expose flaws and make it right. of course that phrase is correct, you are just a piece of shit hippy.
The_Yar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the point is that if no one ever does it, you don't need a rule.
Rules are made so you can punish those who break them. They're made to be broken.
Stealsfromhobos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not illegal if you don't get caught!"
Then why the fuck would we get caught if we aren't breaking laws?
FakeOrcaRape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think what this phrase means that ideally rules start off as rules but in a perfect world become guildlines. "Dont speed past 45". While technically a rule, I see it as a guideline since, essentially 46 is no different from 45, but we must draw the line somewhere.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But Arnold said I could breakz tze rulez?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, when you run across people on a single lane each-way highway going 10 miles under the speed limit; and you pass them on a solid double yellow line; making sure not to pass when there are visible obstructions such as a hill; and then all of a sudden they speed up once they realize what is going on; only to have their egos deflated when you can accelerate 10x faster; and then want to chase you for "breaking the law" -- no mother fucker, fuck you for driving like old people fuck; slow and sloppy, now get the fuck out of the way...
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, its illegal and I do shot like that too but the rule wasn't "made for the sole purpose of being broken" ja feel?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah fuck Jinx.
MjrJWPowell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A rule is only a rule unless somebody can break it. Otherwise it's just what everyone does.
clonecosima ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rules are extremely strict guidelines that should probably have some exceptions but by their very nature cannot accommodate edge cases.
Which is why sometimes people will push their boundaries or look the other way.
Stupendous13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rules are made to be broken once. That way the rule-breaker can be made example of and no one will break the rule in the future.
EvilMastermindG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rules are meant to be bent.
Bartholomoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You think I'm crazy? You should see my sister
hugthemachines ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You say that, but at the same time you put no comma after "No". ;-)
rtft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
guess you won't be liking lawyers then
SeansGodly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like people!
ndividualistic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like buildings! ... Or people"
Gr1mreaper86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience. Rules are created because someone learned something the hard way and because they believe and other people whom have experienced similar believe there is no way to avoid learning that hard way other then to restrict a freedom. I would argue that while experience can often lead to the same result; it doesn't always and it only takes one person with a unique idea or technique to overcome the experience that caused the rule to be created to begin with. In other words; just because you burnt yourself on a stove and make a rule that we shouldn't touch the stove doesn't mean that someone can't figure out how to use the stove without burning themselves. Fuck the rules. They're just restrictions for stupid people that would just burn themselves otherwise. ;)
(Yes I know some rules actually make sense; I like to play devils advocate)
KillaDilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If everyone followed the rules, there would be no need for them at all. However, if people started breaking the rules then we would need them again.
Therefore, rules are meant to be broken.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if it's a shitty rule?
daredaki-sama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually they're sort of right. Just depends on the perspective. Slavery was a rule as well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're made to be broken but they're supposed to be challenged.
gittlebass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats why i learned how to fly, fuck you gravity! I break ALL LAWS
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love how they always retort with some stupid revolutionary statement like "If we always followed the rules then we'd be in a fascist society" as if following the rules makes you some sort of sheep.
Rules are in place so society can exist, I mean, it's like 'society 101'.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I say this one a lot, here's my explanation:
Rules aren't made to be broken, but it's more like "Too many broken rules are made, so the only reasonable thing to do is to break those rules". I'm not talking about being a blatant idiot and doing completely dangerous/illegal things.
For me, the big thing is I think it's important to question why people do things and why certainly rules exist (figuratively or imaginatively). When you stop caring about "fitting in" or "following the rules", you can free yourself from a lot of things holding you back.
If you look at a lot of really successful people, you do find some patterns of "rule breakers". A stunning example of this would be Steve Jobs.
GabTej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always been partial to what House said on the matter:
bassrhythm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Though that phrase does apply to music, painting, etc. - otherwise you get some seriously uninspired art.
yddy13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes!!! Thank you!
parentingandvice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not an expert on bagel law, friend, but I'm sure you broke at least one.
Minimalphilia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When the rule is stupid and lacks merrit though...
But that is usually not the reason why these people break rules.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey jinx
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Rules are made to be broken" is the predecessor to "YOLO".
While some adventurous people use You Only Live Once to inspire courage to attempt things that you might otherwise be timid about, it's evolved into parody of itself and has been popularized as a phrase that represents brazen stupidity when someone should know better.
Much like RAMTBB signified before.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like buildings or PEOPLE
photonrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL doesn't strike me as the username of a stickler for the rules.
xxkoloblicinxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coming from 'I_fucked_a_bagel' I have a hard time believing you follow normal conventions.
But I do agree with you.
maybeCarmenSanDiego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a middle school teacher who once used the line, "promises were ment to be broken." She made us write an in class essay when she said we would do it tomorrow :[
I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, nothing like fucking your middle school teacher the day after an in class essay.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I found ze German!
ohhlookathat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously it's records are meant to be broken. Not rules...
violetxrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who make up their own rules or act as if rules don't apply to them drive me nuts. They think its leadership like behavior to not follow the rules, but the very opposite is true. A good leader lives with integrity and stands on a firm, structured foundation. After all, a good leader must first be a good follower. Where there's no order, there's no leadership or followership.
KansasMannn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rules are going to be broken, so saying that they're meant to be broken is stating the obvious, in an aggressive way.
battlerobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know right, I hate Jinx.
mastersw999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's art. Because if you follow the rules in art, your an asshole.
reddit_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a philosophical arguement. The rule exists because people break the rule. If no one broke it wouldn't exist.
InappropriateTA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This would put a pretty serious damper on any revolutions...
Social change? Nope, can't have any of that.
Dictatorship run amok? Too bad, the rules are rules...
PenIslandTours ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the rule.
CommanderDerpington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Says the man who fucks bagels
badgersprite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rules are made to be adhered to!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instantly read that jinx`s voice.
RobinsEggTea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am an electrical technician. Put on your FUCKING PPE. Holy fucking shit. I am so fucking sick of being a bitch because I have no tolerance for people who have the attitude that rules were made for people who are dumb but I am smart so I can bend the rules and put my hands in here and shit and violate LOTO and close the cage door while I'm inside and shit. FUCK you. I am not performing CPR on you or shaving your fucking saggy tits because you want so bad to have lived your whole fucking life just to be a cautionary tale, with colour pictures.
Rozzlin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like buildings, or People!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only people I've ever heard say are scumbags who are badly trying to justify doing something really illegal/unethical.
Case in point- I used to work for a local politician. Some sleazy guy kept calling our office to get a local bylaw changed so he advertise his shitty limo business on his house's roof (and to extend his driveway into city property). He kept trying to bribe us. And after we reminded him that bribing a civil servant is illegal he said, "That's ridiculous. Rules are meant to be broken."
SURE, BUD.
bobtpro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like buildings! and people!
KelMage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ug... lawfuls are always such a drag...
Some rules are meant to be broken, either because they are stupid, because they are wrongheaded, or because the breaking of that rule makes a statement. Some examples you may be familiar with:
All these issues were once laws. Transgression of those 'rules' was/is illegal. Adherence to those rules is/was unethical. Sometimes, my friend, fuck the rules.
Belowme78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool beans...makes me want to stab you in the eye.
rebelde_sin_causa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, yeah, they did have to make a rule for it to be possible to break the rule.
Tokentaclops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ofcourse rules are made to be broken. If no one breaks the rule you wouldn't need it in the first place. A rule is there so that when someone breaks it you can justify punishment.
mhornberger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I see someone wearing a t-shirt saying "rules are made to be broken," "break all the rules" or similar, I always want to steal their wallet and then point at the t-shirt.
TheFetchOmi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like buildings. OR PEOPLE."
grossknuckles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They really aren't.
No one makes a rule again drinking water.
No one makes a rule for food.
They makes rules against dirty water, because people will break them, so they are punished.
They makes rules for bad food, because people break that rule all the time, so they get punished.
They are made to be broken. Not sure your 15yr old mind gets it.
Hows this, 15yr olds like you can't consent because your brains aren't mature enough.
kahbn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
rules are meant to be broken. kinda like knees.
HungaryMoose ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 15:59:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Epic fail.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is this, 2011?
coldermilk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about if someone says "world star" before falling over or something? I feel it's tacky enough to revolve around back in to being funny again.
notquiteright2 ยท 1849 points ยท Posted at 14:47:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't even."
[deleted] ยท 1517 points ยท Posted at 16:10:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's this generation's "Well I never."
notquiteright2 ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 16:12:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least you can reply to that with "Well, you should, it's fun!"
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:14:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
for the latter I would to "I never, also! Let's do it together sometime."
KlaatuBrute ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:31:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually really insightful. Never made that connection.
HiimCaysE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not insightful; he yanked it from the last time it was posted.
Mage_of_Shadows ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:47:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's now "oh my days"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh my stars
schatzski ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:16:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bless your heart
zazie2099 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:53:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I look forward to future Teen Nick shows in which the main character does something outrageous and an onlooking old lady exclaims in a stuffy Mid Atlantic accent "I can't even!!" and faints.
wrong_assumption ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:09:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More like today's "what the ...?"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:22:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I can't even never.
mirrorwolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe our generation will switch to that in 50 years when the pattern has been well established
andydroo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This guy's username, tho.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hay danx but I ain't no guy buddy
qi1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Geee whiz"
"Golly"
invertaversion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:25:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
am ashamed because I use "golly" both often and unironically.
crazyevilmuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never thought of it that way, great point!
iongantas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like, Totally!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard that.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:33:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you from not the US?
mexicanpetal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny because I have no idea what "will I never" is.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I never?
mexicanpetal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:48:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, wow, I totally read that wrong. I do know what that is.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:27:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...I didn't even see it on there i don't think. Similar ideas happen. Didn't mean to steal it brah
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:57:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sargeantb2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard it much more as the same as "well I never" than as whining.
cakeisgreat ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
PaperPhoneBox ยท 488 points ยท Posted at 15:05:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
literally...
special_specialist ยท 693 points ยท Posted at 15:19:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On a scale of one to even, I literally can't.
TheDangiestSlad ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 16:02:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am literally, literallying right now.
Cairax ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:34:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I literally can't dying right now.
Japslap ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:18:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lets get some starbucks
ComradeRoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chris Traeger? Is that you, buddy?
alexdardz22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:41:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you're pretty odd to me
Mygirlfriendisstupid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Teenage girls are so odd, they canโt even.
jinxjar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you zero though? Cause you might even afterall.
Amphabian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am literally can't evening.
hashtagbae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm literally triggering right now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my new catchphrase.
sammy55554 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am unable to even.
Alchemic_Paladin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this one's the worst, because then they think they're clever.
Serialk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It literally goes up to even.
Aquav1tae ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:57:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I was a number, I'd be odd, because I can't even.
Singlecoiled ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
Singlecoiled ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:40:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think my sarcasm was obvious enough...
kyle8998 ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 15:19:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I literally cant even...
Vladimir_Putins_Cock ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:19:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have lost the ability toucan
bigbluethunder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:13:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look at your username.
Checkmate, Kyle.
NakedSandvich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:18 on September 26, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still genius^
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I literally can't even live without starbucks.
indigoreality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1 3 5 7 9
TooLazy4AName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally this
HiddenA ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:31:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I figuratively can odd though.
mikredditor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, figuratively??? Which one is it again...
ron_e123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thats odd
anew742 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I literally just misused the word literally.
larouqine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've started saying "literarily" as in "expressed in a literary way".
It's so hot today that I am literarily melting.
batstooge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they say it like Rob Lowe in Parks and Recreation. "That is litrally the best thing I have everโฆ"
queen_in_my_pictures ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:11:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or when they respond "no" when I ask for sex
nerdy_pizza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/jacksflims
thebestwhitevancandy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We all know you mean figuratively.
Conchobair-sama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Cause hyperbole doesn't exist.
[deleted] ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 15:11:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups of odd numbers?
Because they can't even.
larouqine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do white girls and prime numbers have in common?
They literally can't even.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
larouqine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY. (But seriously, forgive me, I studied languages not math.)
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 15:09:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't even WHAT? This bothers me.
souIIess ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:41:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't 2,4,6,8,10,12 etc..
OldeScallywag ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:32:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the point. It's so shocking/absurd/cute/whatever it is that they can't even finish the sentence. Is that so hard to get?
rg44_at_the_office ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:53:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well I never."
mamamurrz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:20:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a white girl in college who started college before this fully became a thing, it has two meanings depending on context.
It's usually either "I can't even deal with this/her/him/that/etc. right now" OR "I can't even begin to describe what I'm feeling/who I'm talking about/how insanely cute it/she/he was."
"OMG, my mom won't stop calling me, I'm so hungover though I can't even" - meaning you're too hungover to deal with your mom nagging you about your summer plans.
"OMG I saw a french bulldog puppy on the street and he was SO CUTE I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN EEEKKKK!!" - meaning the puppy was so fucking cute you have no words to describe it.
But because our lives are so filled with a million other more important things than actually finishing sentences or words (/s), it became "I can't even" with the rest of the sentence implied and people use context/inflection to imply the rest.
TBH, most people shorten it further to "I can't..."
TankTopsAndBeatDrops ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:48:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't even handle the ludicrous situation that has befallen their basic lives.
SavageDark ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:58:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bruh he cant even
maratumba ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:10:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is made for you
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:44:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
psiphre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no
JordanSM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:14:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's odd
Bohnanza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:28:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Could you please not?
dunaja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's odd.
luckytaurus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or, "I'm so over it"
Then bitch stop talking about it!
Bobelle ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:46:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EVEN. I AM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF BEING ABLE TO EVEN.
kahbn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you'll just have to odd, then.
johnbutler896 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Le toucan
toolschism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On a scale of one to even.. I can't, I can't even.
ahurlly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You would hate me and everything I stand for.
schatzski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact, under law, sorority house can only house a prime number of occupants at any given time, so they don't gain the ability to even
redbrogii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh it's so hard to even when you cant
AmiriteClyde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, right." Don't confirm my declaritive statement with a rhetorical question you fuck hole.
Jinnofthelamp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(x*2)+1
Mikebike6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From 1 to = I can't =
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you better odd.
thinkpink913 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't...I can't...I have lost the ability toucan.
amurrca1776 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How odd
scale6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird because i've never heard anyone say this except when they're talking about other people saying it. Maybe it's because i live in the uk
DroopyPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or IM SO DONE
The-ArtfulDodger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less."
SkyPork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But ... you can odd with no problem? That really is strange."
iggypopstesticle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've literally never heard this, except as a joke about people who say "I can't even"
LinksMilkBottle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind this one as much as the other phrases mentioned in this thread.
J_Flame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually reply to this with something like "so you have lost you're ability to even" or "you are now essentially uneven" or something like that.
stretchcharge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'What even is...'
reverendsteveii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am literally dying because I can't even....I just can't."
MorningMaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry you can only odd.
obsoletememe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have been working very hard to deliver this line with 100% "appropriateness" within the circle of a few friends. And I can't even.
tonyMEGAphone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
9hrs later, but my new roommate currently says this for everything. I don't even like can't when referring to an action they might actually not be able to do. It's like giving up before trying. Then to hear it for every conversation... I'm losing my mind listening to this woman.
IxiePixie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats odd.
I_cant_stop_evening ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did someone call me?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says this I just reply "That's odd."
kaoD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even.
OnyxMelon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Given the choice of 0 mod 2 and 1 mod 2 I can only 1 mod 2.
NarrWallace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's odd
thessnake03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever
EuphJoenium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A few semesters ago, I took an intro to Philosophy course, and my prof said this ALL the time whenever we were talking about Kant.
I Kant even. Eyerolling ensued.
erispie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's so very.
katha757 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My whole group of friends, myself included, say this around each other. I never really minded it if used in the right context.
bigmansam45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually genuinely used this the other day. Never used it before or since. But I was completely dumbfounded by something and actually struggling to comprehend the scenario that was occurring in front of me and I went to speak and this came out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bitch I know you can't because you're a useless, basic chick. You can't even say something original.
Toni826 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I realized the other day that my "I can't even" is "I don't even know." I think everybody has some version of it.
-Champloo- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like when people use "I can't even" mockingly, though.
Amadeus_1978 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a real thing? I thought it was just an Internet thing. But people really say this,with their mouths?
erilol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And along the same vain, "I noped the fuck out of there." Funny and feisty the first time you see those phrases, but after awhile you start to notice everyone is recycling it to look clever and edgy without having come up with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On a scale from 1 to even, I can't.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I literally can't even... ... ... ... Finish a sentence?
IamBatman777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't odd
Afflicted_One ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even.... I don't even... what is this even?.....
shoopdedoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually love this phrase. It's clever on a couple of levels. Whatever your problem is, it's so intense that you can't possibly finish the sentence that you started to describe the intensity. The open-ended quality of the phrase allows the listener to insert any number of things that person can't do.
sora825 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually found the phrase kinda funny until it became an overused "white girl" thing.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But can you odd?
rincewind4x2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
someone made that as a status recently, i replied "that's odd"
she didn't get it
heap42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's odd.
solos90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How odd
kyndo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I often cut my sentences short and interrupt myself. I can end up saying this a lot :(
ThunderOrb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:40 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who doesn't find this video funny has something wrong with them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do flocks of teenage girls always travel in odd numbers?
Because they literally can't even...
ManWhoKilledHitler ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:30:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, not sorry.
kahbn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why not just say "fuck you" like you mean?
Kaminaaaaa ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:39:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"CRYING"
Brendoshi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:04:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guilty of "I've lost the ability to can" as a response. I'd apologise, but I really like how the phrase sounds.
hatertauts ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:06:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But can you odd?
Ferethis ยท 748 points ยท Posted at 15:46:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I do what I want"
Ok, so your socially unacceptable/inappropriate behavior should be excused because it's what you want to do? So that desire I now have to smack you...?
blendergremlin ยท 185 points ยท Posted at 16:48:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
um, I say that but it is parroting cartman
applepwnz ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:39:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll allow it as long as you say "Whateva, Whateva, I run with 12 gangs!" as well.
MunkyL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:15:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "killed 5 baby seals with my bare hands"
chilly-wonka ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:16:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's my hot body
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:05:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Screw you guys. I'm going hoooooome.
Strigoi84 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:59:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha came to say the same.
Torquelewith12 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:12:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I RUN WITH GANGS. I RUN WITH 12 GANGS. WHATEVER WHATEVER I DO WHAT I WANT
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry blender gremlin. You DO what you want. Go get 'em tiger.
KA260 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I say this ALL the time. Almost too much. But never actually in seriousness for a negative action. Usually more like:
poke spouse in belly... Him:"Stop doing that!" Me: "I DO WHAT I WANT!"
or
"Are you eating a popsicle for breakfast?" "I do what I want!"
gazarsgo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My extended family (mostly older Aussies) don't know anything about South Park and thought I invented this as a catch phrase.
peekykeen ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:46:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only ever hear/use this in a joking way.
"We should steal that elephant."
"We don't have room in the back yard for an elephant."
"We should steal a bigger back yard"
"You can't steal a back yard."
"I do what I want."
BrainOil ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:47:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shortly before I found out my ex wife was cheating, her friend busted her pretty much in the act. That is the exact phrase she replied with when her friend asked wtf she was doing.
ZobmieRules ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:53:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I DO WHOM I WANT
Ferethis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that is exactly why when someone using that phrase in a serious manner totally pisses me off. They know there is no valid or logical explanation for their behavior, so they pull that out like it means anything other than, "You already think I'm an asshole, so let me make it worse".
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:32:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hitler did nothing wrong he just, like, did what he felt like doin man
SpehlingAirer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:31:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So smack them, cause hey, you do what you want!
don't actually do this...
Darkfire346 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:36:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but totally actually do this
Darkfire346 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:41:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a guy who goes home, relaxes in my own way (usually by tinkering with one of my many pieces of home audio equipment), goes to sleep, wakes up, goes to work just to repeat the cycle. I live on my own, when I'm at work, I do everything I can for my customers, give discounts, bend rules, and tell the actual heavy truth about policy and what's happening in relation to them. I don't do drugs, drink, smoke or rip people off. I don't make excuses for what I say or do and you are entitled to your opinion of what I say or do, but it doesn't mean I have to respect it nor listen to it. I just go through life day to day doing whatever I please. I do what I want. It just so happens that I want to be a decent person with no bullshit attached, so why should that be a bad thing?
Ferethis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:45:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That is almost my life exactly, but let me ask you this - how many times has anyone chastised you for something you said or did, and your best defense and actual reply was, "I do what I want"?
"I do what I want" can be a valid philosophy assuming a certain level of consideration and decency, but's it's a shitty explanation for bad behavior.
Darkfire346 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:32:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually my defense for everything. "Why? Because I can." The last time it was called into question, it was because I decided to refloor the bedroom in my home to laminate hardwood and my father asked why. "Cause I wanted to" was pretty much it. And also because if I happened to bring home a date, I wanted at least one area of the house that they might be in to look semi-decent. It turned out really well and I plan on doing most of the rest of the house that way.
Other times, it's because something I did or said was out of the ordinary. Example: I walk next door to my local grocery every day at work to get a drink and sometimes lunch. One of the cashiers there is notoriously snooty. They're mostly high schoolers so I let it go most times. Most people there know me by sight, not by name, as the guy who walks in, gets shit and makes small talk with the cashiers. I crack jokes, but I also just say what's on my mind, usually stupid shit like what's wrong with the earcup on my headphones or what new recipe I'm trying to make. Mostly, they just smile and nod, as cashiers do all day erry day. But on this day, Snooty cashier made a comment about me not using a basket to seem "manly" to the other cashier girls then glared at me when I made a crack about not being a sissy. So I grab my shit, go to check out, and after swiping my card, said: "geez, did your boyfriends wallet dry up or are you just always this bitchy?"
.....oops.
The aftermath was I got a few muffled laughs, she just glared at me and I walked back to my store and didn't think about it until hours later. I did apologize, but I don't think it really helped.
rocrates ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:23:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a shithead of a roommate in college who justified pissing down the carpetsed stairs and headbutting holes in the wall
hugsouffle ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:13:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That goes hand in hand with "I do it because I think it's funny! It doesn't matter, it's just the internet!" which explains how they've alienated everyone at their campus aside from a very small core of very likeminded people that again, no one wants anything to do with. Then they get sad when someone points that out.
"What? I can say what I want! You can't judge me!" Wrong again, No-Friends.
whiznat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm into instant gratification!"
That's how people said it 20 years ago.
HavanaDays ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they just like southpark?
ibbity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't go to school and I kill people
Ferethis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who doesn't? But there is a obvious difference between someone saying it to be funny and someone saying it seriously as a justification.
aedansblade36 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Following their logic they can't bitch about it because you'd be doing what you want, so feel free
CuntedCountess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This. Exactly this.
I was formally "best friends" in high school with this psychotic iiidiot bitch who would sleep around a LOT, even to the point of hurting those around her, fist-fight people, drink and drive waaaayy too much and get kicked out of bars, was totally selfish and self-serving (conversation had to always revolve around her and her highly insufferable uneducated opinions, even saying for years proudly that she hated black people.... like seriously bad) verbally abuse her parents at some points, constantly fuck up at her jobs and get new ones like constantly, (like being shitty at her job WAS her job), and just be a straight up douche canoe. Her pseudo-excuse almost every time she got up to some form of petty debauchery? "I do what I want."
Okay, so "doing what you want" per say gives you permission to be a god damn tool to people that have invested in your life and you found some immature reason to screw over completely?
This succubus and I lived together for 2 years and she ended up stealing me and our other roomate's damage deposit in the end. $600 dollars to get you out of my life? Consider it sold.
Edit: formatting.
CalmSpider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As if Eric Cartman is a model for how to live life.
roastrain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's my dad when he does things like that. So annoying.
somexsrain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True story: last month a guy was trying to steal a TV from a Goodwill in SF Tenderloin. The little sales ladies (he was well over 6') were begging him to stop. I yelled at him to stop (F, 5'6") and told him he ought to be ashamed of himself and to get the hell out. We were making the grab and run difficult and he left, but poked his head inside and answered me "I do what I want!"
If he weren't a good 6-8" taller than me, and certainly cracked out/crazy, I might have continued arguing with him, because REALLY.... Stealing from a charity organization?!
"I do what I want!"
Asshole.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes society can go fuck itself, though. There's situations where this makes sense
Sp3ctre7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say it sarcastically, like when I'm at dinner at college and put bacon bits from the salad bar on a burger.
jazxfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest I say this all the time over little shit, like taking two ketchup packets pretty sure most users are joking
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They aren't saying it should be excused, they're just saying they don't give a fuck if you like it, in a nicer way.
Nugkill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I digitally put Jabba the Hutt back in the original Star Wars, whateva, I do what I want!
Hanta3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say it sarcastically as a nod to Cartman.
peace_love_mcl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say it in reference to southpark http://youtu.be/7IGxvvkPNms
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you have the desire, smack them. They don't understand that they will have consequences for being a cocksucker, so teach them.
edit: when appropriate. dont do it if you'll be worse off than them for it, physically or consequencially.
C_rad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever. It's my hot body.
Jacksonspace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's a South Park reference.
dowhatuwant2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:20:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cry more.
dirtmerchant1980 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:19:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Part of "doing what I want" is that I don't need for society to find it appropriate.
huphelmeyer ยท 785 points ยท Posted at 15:25:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When does the narwhal bacon?"
EvilJackCarver ยท 586 points ยท Posted at 15:48:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/* pulls string on magic conch shell */
...
Never.flameguy21 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:44:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THE CONCH HAS SPOKEN!
lemmiwinks81 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:00:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH! HULULULULULULULUUUU
quitefunny ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:31:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
runyoucleverboyrun ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 16:35:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
#spotthejavascripter
EvilJackCarver ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:37:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, the only two "languages" I have experience scripting is TI-BASIC and a Windows batchfile. I just use C-style commenting as a throwback when I tried SourcePawn.
runyoucleverboyrun ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:40:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh ok then TIL that js comments are based on C style
notverycreative1 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:14:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
JS everything is C style, just without any semblance of rules.
runyoucleverboyrun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol true
ferretflip ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:06:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Neeerds!
Pannuba ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:42:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also C/C++
runyoucleverboyrun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I remember the double slash being comment for c++, I somehow never learned about the wrappable comment, which partly explains why my commenting in c++ always sucked
Edit: never learned about wrappable comments *until learning js
Pannuba ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:55:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha yeah, I'm still learning but I always write */ /*. That's why I usually stick with //
Bladelink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The double bars are so ubiquitous, I tend to overuse them to be safe and lazy.
Bladelink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was already in a comment. Why did he comment out his comment?!!!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:39:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you comment that? It should be a function.
pullsStringOnMagicConchShell()
{
int n;
srand(time(NULL));
n = rand(0, 2);
return n;
}
evaluate(int n)
{
}
EvilJackCarver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty garbage... Still a first year.
Killabyte5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe some day
FowlyTheOne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/* pulls string on magic cumbox */ ...Never.
Caffeinewriter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the programmer.
EvilJackCarver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Surprisingly not, actually.
Caffeinewriter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And here I was feeling clever for being the first one to come up with that :P
Sexy_Squidward ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I have something to eat?
Nervousemu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm confused... is there another line above never?
Nokcihc ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:55:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck it's been so long since I've seen this phrase. Do people actually still do this? Did people ever do this?
Dementat_Deus ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 02:33:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been trying to get my nephew to start doing it, so by proxy, I have been doing it around him. So far he's just been like "that makes no sense Uncle Deus."
Jake_91_420 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:54:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why are you trying to get him to be weird?
OBVIOUS_OBSERVATlONS ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:58:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MIDNIGHT! I'm so random!
bgb111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
holds up spork
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:03:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only used by F7U13ers, to my experience, anyways,
Driftbeat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:47:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that sub isn't dead yet?
some_neanderthal ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:28:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that really still a thing?
ZobmieRules ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:50:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BANANA LOLL
detecting_nuttiness ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:42:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was really funny the first time. The original story was fantastic. Perhaps it was because at the time, reddit was a much smaller community, so it was really rare to find another redditor. It's gotten really overused and cringe-worthy since then, though.
Muffinator4 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:23:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't it supposed to be crimge-worthy from the start? I thought that was kind of the point.
ndstumme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not cringe-worthy exactly, just ridiculous enough that no one would say that phrase without having seen it on reddit.
It was originally just a bored redditor chilling in an airport hoping to meet someone to talk to while waiting for her flight. She threw that phrase out there on a whim, but it was funny enough that it spread through reddit for a little while before becoming stale.
For the curious, that post was just over 6 years ago.
Rabid_Chocobo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When does the penguin spork?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:15:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
raises spork
HairlessSasquatch ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:27:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody has said that in 4 years and you bring it up. Way to be, shitbird
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:27:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Waffles? Don't you mean carrots?
DebitsOnTheLeft ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:47:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
qi1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
L. O. L.
scy1192 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bitch, I'm a bus
penea2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
SargeMacLethal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one. This one does not get old.
JimmyCumbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NOWHERE IS SAFE
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:00:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Midnight
0l01o1ol0 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:25:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was this ever actually a legit meme on reddit? I've only heard it ironically.
ndstumme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was 6 years ago, just before/during the Digg migration.
Zequez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:18:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's still pretty rare to find redditors in non-english countries, it's still a pretty solid secret phrase, except for the fact that's on Google.
hyperblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that using it at an actual reddit meetup would not go over well.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right now.
Mustache_Kitty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At 11 pm
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
slap
popcar2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow, is that still a thing?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is that still even a thing? I saw some one over on that reddit like site using a variation of that as a user name. I cringed and downvoted.
Baconing_Narwhal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right now
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't heard that since 2012
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard that phrase before and have no idea what it means but I'm already irrationally angry
Xanoma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No soap, radio!
MelanisticPolarBear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dank memerino brethren :^)
wtfisnarwhallbacon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:05:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I hate that phrase... Haha... Yeah
MenacingErmine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alone with a guy on a TeamSpeak server
Unintentional ego-boost to him... Next time I should shoot down his attempt at bad humor.
solos90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:43:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ftfy
IamAllyWinget ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone ease explain?
rifenbug ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:39:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The narwhal bacons at midnight.
Plecboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually got a year of reddit gold for saying that to a dude a few weeks ago! lol
Gr1mreaper86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The narwhal bacons at midnight. <.<
Kelfox ยท 294 points ยท Posted at 14:51:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a foodie!"
Yeah. I'm a slappie. Come over here I'll introduce you to the ways of my people.
ThaBadfish ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 20:32:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look up the Penn & Teller show "Bullshit!" and find the episode about "The Best". They bring a guy into a fake restaurant who is a self-proclaimed foodie and feed him dirt-cheap shit dressed up nicely. Guy falls for it hook, line, and motherfucking sinker.
_meraxes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:10:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look up the one where they just serve people hose water.
nobodynose ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:48:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would it matter?
I consider myself a foodie. I don't consider myself a "foodie" because I think I'm extremely knowledgeable about food or have a very refined palate. I call myself a foodie because I love food and eating. Trying out new cuisines and restaurants is actually one of my favorite things to do.
Maybe I use it wrong but everyone I know (including myself) assumes "foodie" means someone who loves food and are adventurous in trying food.
It sounds like your and P&T's definition of foodie is someone who's a snob about food? Cuz seriously, the foodies I know are just as willing to try a dirt cheap and hell even dirty hole in the wall as they are high brow fare. I've eaten at places that cost over $100/person and I've eaten at places that cost $6/person.
JamesRustlington ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:56:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also like food and eating. Mainly because I'm a person, not a 'foodie'.
Also, it would be considered more strange for someone to eat the same thing for the rest of their lives rather than try new things.
nobodynose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:27:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know you're being facetious, but this how I differentiate a normal person (everyone does like food after all) vs a foodie.
If you answer yes to all of these I would consider you a foodie. I've never considered "are you stuck up about food?" to be part of being a foodie. That's a part of being a stuck up elitist asshole (IMO).
kingeryck ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:16:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Delish".
I will slap you into next fucking week.
anu26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comment has me cracking up like mad, and I LOVE food. Cooking, eating, all of it.
BTW, I'm not sure if you read Goosebumps growing up, but Slappy terrorised me when I was younger.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a foodie, I love eating and making food.
I'm also a slappie and will happily slap people that spend more time talking about the food they are served and even more taking pictures of it.
Especially the ones that care mostly about the visual aspect of food.
Good food doesn't have to be picture perfect, it has to taste great. The visual aspect is a bonus, but one that should never be prioritized over how it actually tastes.
jordanxbox1 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 16:09:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Good things come to those who wait" bull fucking shit, go out there and do something with your life.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:23:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is true in some circumstances though. Like hearing food sizzling in a microwave but knowing that it's not fully hot yet.
AtoZZZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:44:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, this is actually the key difference between Marxist socialism and Leninist socialism. Marx's argument is that it is inevitable, while Lenin is basically a "we have to make it happen" mentality. Just thought I'd add this
Satans__Secretary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of [this] that I saw earlier.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
JUST. DO. IT.
JuggernautV2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:16:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Been waiting for 17 years, i think that shit aint ever arrivin
Yst ยท 1330 points ยท Posted at 15:17:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less"
JustaSmallTownPearl ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 16:32:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This confuses me because where I live in the UK it's 'I couldn't care less', which makes sense to me because it's saying you care so little that it's impossible for you to care any less, whereas "I could care less" implies you have the potential to give less of a shit, hence you do care a bit, seems to oppose the intended meaning.
Yst ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 16:43:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that's very much it. It's simply a matter of some individuals having regularly heard the phrase "I couldn't care less" spoken quickly and indistinctly, and having thereafter adopted and repeated it without really considering the words being spoken.
Most people, when they speak, go about the business of composing sentences from words. But some people, some of the time, deem it sufficient to simply flap their face meat together in a manner similar to the way in which they've seen other people flap their face meat, when expressing a given feeling. This is one of those cases.
pubbing ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:53:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed at this. Flapping face meat is funny.
gunnk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:50:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's originally from the short story "They're Made out of Meat". A nice video version is here. You can skip to the 4:00 minute mark for flapping meat discussion, but the whole thing is pretty cool.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:37:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why we have "could of" or "would of" in peoples vocabulary today, both written and spoken.
tinycatsays ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Written, it drives me nuts, but how can you even tell when it's spoken? "Could've" and "could of" are pronounced the same, and context tells you which one it is. (I can't think of a single sentence where "could of" makes sense, anyway.)
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the time people pronounce them the same but sometimes it's obvious someone is saying 'could of'. I heard a young footballer use 'could of' in a radio interview after a game this weekend.
Pennwisedom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why you say such made up shit as "an apron" and you should feel bad every time you say it since it is obviously wrong. And then, when you're done with that, every time you speak, or write "what" "where" "why" or "white" instead of "hwat" and the rest, you need to tell yourself that you're just being an idiot.
Pennwisedom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:04 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First off, we don't actually know the origins of the usage of "Could care less". However, one of the prominent theories is that it originated from such Brooklyn Jewish sayings as "I should be so lucky" as a sarcastic quip.
It's not that people just didn't understand what they were saying, exactly like every time you say "head over heels" you aren't just too stupid to realize it was actually "heels over head."
Allisade ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:35:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty harsh.
When you make it a leading statement implying there's more but then don't even bother to end it, it says "I could care less... it's possible... but..."
And of course I've known people who use the phrase and actually include an ending for (possibly) greater / funnier effect.
I could care less.... but I can't imagine how.
I could care less... but not much less, I'm nearly at the bottom.
I could care less... but it would be very difficult.
I could care less... but I already care very little and caring less would take effort.
I could care less... but even doing that is worth more than this subject deserves.
I could care less... but I don't, I care exactly enough to say this, and nothing more.
Naturally I'll assume the people you hate just don't use it so well.
Cereborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've co-opted this practice into my own phrase: "I could care less, but not by much."
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:13:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Yst ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:58:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you honestly proposing that an idiom or a turn of phrase is never misheard and repeated nonsensically? This happens constantly. Entire books are devoted to the topic. Eggcorns and Mondegreens are everywhere.
You may wish to promote your idea of how this phrase is used. But throwing away the idea of malapropisms in human speech altogether in order to accomplish that is just silly.
Omegatron9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are a lot of people who can't convey sarcasm then.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:44:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Omegatron9 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then it is a mistake when those people use it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:50:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Omegatron9 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:56:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it is. If someone said "no" non-sarcastically when they meant "yes" because they'd heard "no" being used to mean "yes" but didn't realise that was sarcasm they would be using it wrong.
JoveOfDroit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:59:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that's why Yst posted. It doesn't make sense.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah? I could care less if you live in the UK. I have some friends there, so I do care a little bit.
farcedsed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's an idiomatic expression that means the same in both variations.
It's not different than saying "head over heels", which if you think about it also makes no sense.
The rule with idioms, is that they can not be parsed as individual components, instead they have to parsed as a single phrase.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:48:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
farcedsed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be more specific then in many peoples dialects / ideolects, "could care less" and "couldn't care less" are interchangeable, or they only have one of the two variations, where either would have similar or identical meanings.
pragmatically they may vary, but the meanings themselves do remain the same for a large number of speakers.
Meaning, it is no different than any other idiomatic expression and doesn't follow the rules of compositionality.
autoposting_system ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right. That's why it's so annoying.
It's not just where you live, by the way. It's a simple phrase, in English, that any reasonable person should understand. And yet ... here we are.
Pennwisedom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:15 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm American, I lived in the UK for awhile. Every so often I would hear an expression that I didn't understand. So of course, I told them they were wrong, all idioms have to make literal sense! And then later on went to explain how no one can understand "to dust" because it can mean other "to remove dust" or "to add dust". I mean what kind of insane bullshit is that?
r4mm3rnz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see it as a lazy way of saying "as if I could care less". That's how I justify it anyway.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always thought it just means you care some but you're threatening to care less. In other words "don't push the subject."
bubba_feet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
might as well say, "i've only got one fuck left to give today, and i'm not gonna waste it on that shit."
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:53:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
see i think it means you could potentially care less about a subject, but you didn't even care enough to care less. its like its already wasted enough of your energy. you could let it effect you more and you could care less but fuck it you dont care enough about it to care less. thats how shitty it is.
Omegatron9 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:01:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How can you not care enough to care less? Surely zero caring would be the default state and you wouldn't have to put in extra effort to reach that.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
extra effort man. its like fuck it just drop it. you know? its like a bag of potato chips. theres still some at the bottom, but fuck it i'm not exerting the extra energy to even care about eating them. i'm just done with that whole bag of chips, you know?
its like i could care less if i wanted to, but i dont even want to exert the energy to care less. i dont care enough to care less than i do now and just wanna fuckin move on
Omegatron9 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:58:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, that's what I mean. You have to exert energy to care. By not caring you don't exert energy.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:15:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i could care less. but i don't even want to try to.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
honestly at this point man, i could care less if you're going to understand this. i know it's like super high above your head and you're waltzing in my territory which is on a whole different level but if you aren't gonna get it you aren't gonna get it and at this point, i could care less if you do or not.
JustaSmallTownPearl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I like this
Cereborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just semantic backflipping to try justifying people not knowing how words work.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blah blah blah. nobody's taking this that serious so go find a dick to suck or something i don't care. i could care less.
Gibodean ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your countryman David Mitchell instructs Americans on correct usage of this phrase, including use of charts to illustrate the point, here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om7O0MFkmpw
pyro5050 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:48:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i personally have taken to saying i could care less to people when i care about something... it confuses the shit outta them when i start a debate on the topic with fervor! :)
doughnutdoodles ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 17:12:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would/could/should of bothers me a lot.
bikey_bike ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:07:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think what people are saying is would've, should've, and could've not would/should/could of. They're actually contractions and they're correct grammar.
doughnutdoodles ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:55:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's absolutely what they should be saying but they're not. That's why I hate seeing 'would/should/could of'. They're spelling it phonetically, which I can totally understand the logic of (not logic've lol).
bikey_bike ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:07:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha well I think of it like some people pronounce it would-ive and some people pronounce it would-ove but it's still would've. Now if they're spelling it "would of", well fuck them.
Cereborn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly what they do. Pay attention on Reddit and you'll see it.
dakky68 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:27:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, they truly think it's "of", not "have".
nolo_me ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:04:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because they're not taught the logic: remove the "could", is it still grammatical?
Omegatron9 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:32:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*'ve is correct and when people are speaking it can sometimes be hard to tell the difference between 've and of but there are definitely people who are clearly saying and writing of.
misszoeline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhhh I see what you did there!
satansrapier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It may be a regional thing, but I've always said "woulda, coulda, shoulda". But yeah, it is pretty annoying when used too much.
jeffry_robert_reuben ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The point is that the contraction "should've" means "should HAVE", not "should OF".
bikey_bike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Say should've out loud. It sounds like should of. That's what I'm saying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This means you're out of time.
RedCanada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coulda woulda shoulda.
loumi02 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:19:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone whose first language isn't English, that one puzzles me so much. It literally means the opposite of what you're trying to say. Don't people realise that?
sora825 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase is supposed to be "I could not care less", but over time as people said it faster and slurred it, it became "could care less".
You're right though, people now say it the opposite of what they mean.
RedHotDornishPeppers ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:30:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, that's kind of you. At least you care a little
The_Yar ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:15:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, only a little.
That's the point of the phrase. No one would say "I could care less" unless they already cared a significantly small amount.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:43:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
The_Yar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if that qualifies as polite.
Evonex ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:37:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I KNEW it wasn't supposed to be said that way. No one believed me.
sir_mrej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weird Al believes you
Rial91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How can you say something in a way? Ways are at best two-dimensional, they have no inside. You could say something on a way, but why should it be forbidden to say something on certain ways?
OuttaSightVegemite ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:49:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf does that mean?! I thought the phrase was "I couldn't care less?
DovahSpy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:12:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less, but then I'd be an asshole."
How's this?
LovecraftianWarlord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less, but not a whole fucking lot."
jaywalker32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:28 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Contrived.
StDoodle ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:34:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That one literally kills me. I should of known it would be here. (This is also my contribution to the thread, in case it wasn't clear.)
sora825 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope your use of "literally" and "should of" are meant to be ironic.
GoddamnitAmerica ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:11:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
should 'have' known.
StDoodle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:22:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Woooosh! ;)
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:22:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't even make sense. That means if you could care less, you do care a bit. If you couldn't care less, then that means you flat dont give a fuck.
CaptainCazio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...that's the point.
Biggity_Niggity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If there's the slightest chance you haven't seen David Mitchell's Soapbox:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om7O0MFkmpw
thewhaleshark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All intensive purposes.
blazik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well they tried.
Connerdean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DO IT
cleeder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
JUST DO IT!
what__ever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
breaks the chain of a dead meme
what__ever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're a dead meme
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'd post something about dead stuff in response, but I don't have the guts to go look for a good pic. Here's a gif of a baby elephant.
what__ever ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
/u/ElvishCopter pls
Edit: link
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, me cannot link.
what__ever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, me fix
Harold_Grundelson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're so sympathetic.
Omegamanthethird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must dislike a lot if people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Correct phrase:
tbag403 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No motherfucker, you cant care less.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But it's not worth the effort" is the second half of that phrase.
It's lost on a lot of people because it's rarely said. But I like to use, "I could care less but it isn't worth the effort" over "I couldn't care less"
20150623 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a native English speaker so I could care less, but there seem to be some theories on where the idiom comes from.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fully understand that you have a lower level of caring you could sink to. Motherfuckers....
ipman3051 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say I could care less, but only because I couldn't care less about how I say it.
hnfr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That means you do care.... At least a little.
helacocksucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I couldn't care less."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I say, because it's true. I cared enough to throw my thoughts out there, therefore I actually could care less.
Lewkk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It means you do care... at least a little " - Weird Al
Atlanticlantern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So many people say this. So many people! At my office it's so bad I haven't heard the correct phrase in MONTHS. How the fuck does that happen?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then do it.
scsu420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say, "I couldn't give a 2 halves of a fuck" and feel it still carries the message without sounding quite as douchey.
CleanBill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant.
http://i.imgur.com/DyPlAVA.png
CourierOfTheWastes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://youtu.be/om7O0MFkmpw I love this vid.
mexicanpetal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES, finally one that I really agree with.
sprout92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I remember hearing this I flipped shit in the back seat of the car for 45 minutes about how it just didn't make sense. As a 6 year old I was like "well obviously you care a little if you could care any less" and ranting and such. My dad finally said "it's because nothing in this world makes sense. Life sucks and then you die." So I broke down crying and my mom was pissed. /stupid pointless story
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could, but I don't.
choreander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually say 'I don't think I could care less' and people correct me. That annoys the hell out of me.
Astaroth1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I couldn't care less" FTFY
raspberry_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i instantly dislike people who pretend to give a shit about how people use this expression
Pattonias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't live in the south.
Aldo_The_Apache_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you care a little bit then?
mrsworser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh god so many arguments because of this. if you can care less, you at least care an infinitesimal amount which would indicate you care at all which means YOU GIVE AT LEAST ONE SHIT
cobo10201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For the longest time I didn't realize people were mis-saying the phrase "I couldn't care less." I thought they were saying "I don't care for it much, but I'm not absolutely ignoring it."
NoodleStroodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood why it isn't, "I couldn't care less" like I could try to care less but I literally could not care less.
thurmanmermen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So you could care less! Well good thing you don't."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh! Fuck. This bother me so much. Just fucking think about what you're saying. If you could care less it fucking means you care so you are saying exactly the opposite of what you are trying to say!!!!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I could.
shroomley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it started out as a mistake, but turned into sarcasm. Like if you tried realllly hard, maybe I could care a bit less.
Renal_Toothpaste ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does this phrase piss you off that much? Or were you just going for a quick karma grab?
RancidLemons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That means you do care.
At least a little.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you one of those annoying fucks who thinks that it's could instead of couldn't, or are you talking about them?
godwings101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I think this statement needs an addition, make if "I could care less but I'm not going to"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Then why don't you?"
00Mogar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially if they're using it in an argument.
"Oh I could care less about X"
Thanks for proving to me you still care about it enough to value it higher than something else. If you wanted it to be offensive it's :"I couldn't care less."
thecatgoesmoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's sad. The opposite reaction happens for me.
The whole generation of people who jumped on, attacked, belittled, and smugly proclaimed that "I could care less" has a literal translation that isn't logical come across as the most douchey, anti social, moronic, and least happy group of people I can think of outside a New Jersey strip club.
You've created such a circle-jerk that people will blindly jump on the hate train because of a god damn phrase just to put someone down for "not knowing" something so obvious. If you really think that separates you from "all those other people" I'm afraid to say you're probably the stupid one.
The backlash this has caused to my psyche is no doubt just as viciously soul-eating as the original attack, and I sincerely hate you all for it. Fucking let it go.
doesntshoweroften ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then shut up and do so else shut up and show care!
IamLouBega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god I hate this!! IT'S "I COULDN'T CARE LESS" YOU GOD DAMN MORON
ai1267 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Yes you could.
theoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go ahead, care less.
p_velocity ยท 163 points ยท Posted at 00:11:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"you are really smart for a black guy"
"you speak so well"
"you act white"
"aren't black people supposed to (insert sterotype here)? "
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 01:53:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PNWSwag ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like that Joe Biden quote
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:47:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Recolen ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 11:11:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone says these things seriously, it's fucked up. Jokingly, can be funny.
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:15:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if you won't fight my rap battles for me, who will!
MrHippoPants ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:00:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck, people actually say this?
SnackAllSmoke ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:12:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like straight up fucking racism to me
OWLONGCANAREDDITNAM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:22:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is straight up rascism... I mean the only time I can see "You speak so well" Is when referring to someone who learnt a different first language.
Zemogray ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:52:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go to a majority white private school. It's like they've never seen a black person before. I know they don't mean anything by it, but God is it annoying
p_velocity ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:36:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a thin line between honest ignorance and willful stupidity. When I went to college, I was a lot of people's first black friend. Most of them were like "oh, here is this really smart, funny, cool, unique human being". some of them were like "here is this walking talking stereotype for my amusement."
If you are over 18 and you don't know the difference between television and real life then you are a jackass and I don't really want anything to do with you.
Tanexion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:51 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My GOD, yes man. So many people seem to be just waiting for the moment when the 1 black person in the group will make some stupid joke like it's some movie or tv show. And then when the black person turns out to not be the fool they think he is, so much disappoint. Then he's just boring. I cannot stand people like this.
VPPython ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:57:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a majority white private school, and I was pretty much the only non-stereotypical black guy there. Those 4 years sucked.
Hopefully it's not the same at the majority white college I'm going to.
foot_kisser ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:51:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It could be complimenting their eloquence.
p_velocity ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:32:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no, it's condescending. It's basically saying that the fact that you are not a bumbling idiot is an accomplishment...they don't expect much more out of you based on the way that you look.
foot_kisser ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:51:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the context. If they say it with a surprised tone of voice, sure it's condescending. It is possible to say that phrase in a complimentary way.
RandomMexicanDude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or Mexican :/
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:56:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use to think those were compliments when i was younger now I can't bare the sight of any of the people who said that to me.
digitaldeadstar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my buddies hates this shit. He gets told he "acts white" all the time because he reads a lot, dresses nicely, properly pronounces his words, listens to a lot of rock and pop music, etc.
His general response is along the lines of "No, motherfucker, I'm not acting white! I'm acting like person."
ekoostikmartin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But, Colin Powell.
Orangutan_Tittiez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I agree with you on this. A little eloquence & some people can't believe it.
โO, beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock The meat it feeds on.โ -Shakespeare
Zemogray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey who are you gonna ask to homecoming (black girl) or (black girl)?"
UnexpectedColonoscpy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I gave this black friend with a slight British accent because its in his lineage. So he experiences this A LOT.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:46:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
UnexpectedColonoscpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:54 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For a price.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"She's pretty for a black girl." Color has zero to do with her being pretty.
potatoesarenotcool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I grew up in South Africa, this wasn't such a harsh thing. It went both ways. Like most black people didn't like fish. It was standard.
"Black guy in a beanie? You must be adopted" "White guy voting for the ANC? Crazy"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude
"Can you help me with my rap verse?"
"So.. how big is it really?"
"OMG I am blacker than you!"
Rap song Lifestyle comes on "So do you know what he is saying?"
"Do you have weed?"
"Have you ever stolen something?"
I could go on.
KamFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THIS! Fucking THIS... I lose my shit every time I hear this!
myaccisbest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a white guy? You seem like you are probably a white guy.
p_velocity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol. no.
myaccisbest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, i really thought i had the world figured out. I guess ill just go home and rethink my life.
TitaniumBranium ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:20:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I need a real man."
"The Lord has a plan."
"Everything happens for a reason."
"You should have kids."
[deleted] ยท 139 points ยท Posted at 16:15:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm brutally honest" usually that just means you lack any tact and are generally rude.
Wake_and_Poi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:04:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't brutally honest and lacking tact pretty much the same thing?
GobblesGoblins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is, they're just a moron who doesn't understand symmantics. They prefer the most derogatory word they can find because they're an easily offended child who needs to grow up and stop assuming everything is an attack on them.
for_future_refrence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey now. You look like you lack tact
GobblesGoblins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:45 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't lack it. I ignore it because I don't give a shit about you.
for_future_refrence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:56 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but im youre best freiond
GobblesGoblins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no friends, I find they never live up to my expectations. Hollywood has given me an unrealistic view on friends and they can never be what I want. Friends, seinfeld, the breakfast club, how I met your mother. No one is ever willing to actually commit.
zazie2099 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:59:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of people confuse "honesty" with deliberately selecting the most dickish and cynical perspective to give on the topic at hand.
CrazyRainbowStar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very true. Which is why I try to say that I'm willing to be honest. I do ask if someone really wants me to be honest before I say something that I know well be hurtful, and if they give me the go-ahead, I'm still polite and detached. Deliberately choosing the most hurtful way to say something and then hiding behind your so-called "honesty" is lazy and cowardly.
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:14:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to just say 'I'm a dick' but I can't even be bothered with that anymore.
They'll find out soon enough
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:22:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who brag about brutal honesty, tend to enjoy and be more skilled with the brutality than the honesty
10-200 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I consider myself to be an honest person. But just because I'm honest, doesn't mean I have to speak on something that would hurt feelings or to be rude.
My friends are constantly asking "Do you like my hair?" Or "Do you like my outfit?". Sometimes I do like those things. However, I just say "What really matters is if you like it or not".
Because I don't want to hurt feelings or come off as rude, but I also don't want to lie.
I've been called brutally honest by lots of people, so now I feel that I was being rude somewhere along the way.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And wrong. They're also normally wrong.
Fgame ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But brutally honest sounds better :(
[deleted] ยท 238 points ยท Posted at 15:47:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
IamUrquan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:39:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My niece said this over Christmas last year. I thought she made it up and didnt think anything of it. Wow. Am I that out of touch?
Frigguggi ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 20:33:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's the children who are wrong.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:53:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is fleek?
hunterspencer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:19:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats the real question.
DocEllingham ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:19:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...what is fleek?
serrol_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:42:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=on+fleek Fucking google it, Jesus.
DocEllingham ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 17:56:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've got me confused with Jesus, who probably doesn't need to Google it.
aaronrenoawesome ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:28:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because Jesus is so fleek.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:33:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
busmans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a purposefully ridiculous-sounding alternative to "on point".
7ujmnbvfr456yhgt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:10:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? To what end?
Vox_Imperatoris ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ะะพัะตะผั? ะะฐัะตะผ?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To piss off people who get butthurt about slang, aka OP
Epistaxis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:43:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awww, I'm only just getting used to "on point" meaning something other than these and you're telling me it's already obsolete?
theniceguytroll ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:45:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, but what the fuck is a fleek?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:56:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't anything.
hecknotechno1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thats no way to talk to jesus
AtoZZZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But what are your thoughts on "fleece it out"?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always think this is a new way to refer to when you force saliva from the glands under your tongue--we called it gleek.
713984265 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a thing people over 13 say? The only reason I know what that is is because my girlfriend is in school to become a grade school teacher and student teaches and she told me about it.
not_nessacary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Comment on fleek
Pregosaur ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:13:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
on fleek or on point are both stupid
yappingboy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:39:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was deployed one of my Co-workers said that shit all the time. Those were rough times man
Epistaxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean... when you were on point?
yappingboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Normally when he was showing me some new YouTube video he found, it was really annoying...
hecknotechno1 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
parfleekody
[deleted] ยท 275 points ยท Posted at 16:56:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I chose not to vaccinate my kids."
Well fuck you. Thanks for letting other kids be vulnerable as well now, you dumb asshole.
snow_big_deal ยท 207 points ยท Posted at 19:43:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Educate yourself." READING MOMMY BLOGS IS NOT "EDUCATION"
"Doctors think they know better than me what's best for my kids." THEY DO. THAT'S WHY THEY'RE DOCTORS.
Dudamis ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:31:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, definitely not anti-vaccination but, there are dumb doctors or over worked doctors and they can give false verification to those people. For example: as a child my wife nearly died because the doctors' remedy for anemia was to have her chew on raw steak. Now my mother in law does not trust doctors and is extremely susceptible to pseudo - science. Thank god she has no computer or access to Facebook.
CrazyRainbowStar ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:14:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They graduated from the 25th grade.
You graduated from nine months of hormone induced insanity.
empgdca ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:48:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Educate yourself" in any context is fucking dumb. It's just something idiots say in order to avoid having to back up their retarded views.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also education often requires a teacher
empgdca ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:32:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. That too.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:06:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha... couldn't have said it better.
CUBITAGHOST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I cant upvote this enough
bqnguyen ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Woah. Chill man. 'Snow big deal.
IMicrowaveTridents ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:35:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing how some vaccinates don't defend against direct infections, your unvaccinated child can danger 500 other children. Think about that
BellsBooksCandles ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:56:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't sound like your vaccinated child is protected for shit, despite pumping a bunch of toxins into them. Think about that.
IMicrowaveTridents ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:05:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It still protects them from breathing it in and getting it by touching stuff, how do you think we got rid of smallpox. Vaccines
sirflop ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:56:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just got high school senior vaccinations yesterday. When does the autism kick in?
LRedditor15 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:58:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right about....now!
Ghst_Reyo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:12:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RACECAR!!!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:06:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
!!!RACECAR
amb5267 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:35:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"After doing extensive research on the subject, I chose not to vaccinate my kids" Translation: "After googling some wacky anti-vaxxer websites, I chose to put all other kids at risk so my special snowflakes don't have to get needles"
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:08:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get your disease bags away from my family!
Akihirohowlett ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disease bags. I like that. I'm going to have to use that sometime.
Apellosine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Other kids, the elderly, people with transplants, people who are allergic to eggs or just people with weakened immune systems for whatever reason.
coldermilk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That bothers me to no end. I don't really have a problem with an adult being ignorant if it only harms themselves but leave an innocent child out of that.
It only hurts not only them but other healthy people around them. Beyond children too, seniors can get affected due to compromised immune systems from parents avoiding getting their kids basic scientifically backed shots.
warpenguin55 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:08:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MY KID IS AUTISTIC BECAUSE HE GOT VACCINATED. looks like you are too EDIT: not you, the nonexistant person you screamed in all caps
GobblesGoblins ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Freedom.
[deleted] ยท 196 points ยท Posted at 15:28:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I think the world will end on [some date in the near future]"
bonus points if: "because of marriage equality."
punky67 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:19:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A guy in my work said it will end in september because he watched a bunch of youtube videos on the new world order and the illuminati. He now thinks his "eyes are open" and that everyone else is "asleep". He's a fucking moron.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:34:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, one of my used to be good friends said September 23rd. I googled and read that it can be anywhere between Sept. 22-28th or some shit like that. Her sources are boys she's dated recently and an old guy who retired to research this, all of them being "engineers". Basically, these people are like janitors and she's referring to them as toilet paper engineers to give you an idea of how ridiculous her logic is. She's not the brightest cookie, either.
Magical_Gravy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:59:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is he still working, rather than spending the less-than-a-month he has left finishing off his bucket list?
punky67 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funny you say that, as he phoned in sick on Monday and I doubt I'll see him for a while. As far as I know, the guy has a lot of issues.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:20:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They say they want marriage inequality, but marriage already is equal! Everyone has the right to marry someone of the opposite gender - equality!
/s it made me a little sick typing that
SyKoHPaTh ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:42:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If the gov'ment allows gay marriage WHATS NEXT MARRYING ANIMALS"
How about no
414RequestURITooLong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:12:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And children. Think of the children!
novelty_bone ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:49:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
where do you find such creatures?
Ketherah ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:50:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Utah.
JustAnotherLemonTree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:24:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My condolences. I hear Utah has some gorgeous scenery, but the sheer amount of Mormons there prevent me from ever visiting that state.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've only ever seen people complain about them online.
I have never once heard someone in real life say that the world will end due to marriage equality.
flameguy21 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:45:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tumblr
rolfraikou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:40:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more frustrated by the people that tell me "No one actually says that kind of stuff." just because they have never personally heard it.
Not that there's aren't millions of internet comments, thousands of videos that prove that people believe this kind of shit.
A ton of people in North San Diego believe in "Chemtrails" for some reason. A lot of people don't believe me when I tell them that.
NosyEnthusiast6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:04 on August 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because of the chemtrails they're releasing to keep everyone asleep!
GimpedNinja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, I've survived the "end of the world" at least 3 times in my life so far
universe34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure anyone who is against marriage equality would not refer to it as marriage equality.
myhairsreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see you've met my mother.
[deleted] ยท 241 points ยท Posted at 15:48:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Crystal_Munnin ยท 144 points ยท Posted at 17:11:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No... No man... Shit, no man... I believe you get your ass kicked for saying something like that.
FoldsBen ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:35:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin' A man
Crystal_Munnin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:38:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin' A...
mipadi ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:11:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watch out for your cornhole, bud.
Ryanmjesus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:26:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, Peter. What's happening..
b1tbuck37 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:24:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sexycaterpillar ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:53:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Monday: "Man, that weekend was toooo short. Mondays, amirite? Hahaha."
Tuesday: "Hey, at least its not Monday, hahahaha!"
Wednesday: "It's HUMPDAY! Hhahaahhaha."
Thursday: "Hey, it's almost Friday!"
Friday: "Thank God it's Friday, amirite? HAHAHAHA"
Monday: "Man, that weekend was toooo short. Mondays, amirite? Hahaha."
etc.
chucktestlacoil ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:57:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Office small-talk is awful.
wamjaeger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thursday: "here its Friday JUUuuuUuniorrrrrr!!111!"
dwmath ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:52:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or any of the infinitely many other office tropes, but most especially "Workin' hard, or hardly workin'?".
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shrek made me like that one
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:38:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe you get your ass kicked for saying something like that.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:31:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Judean_peoplesfront ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me, after you told me I've got a case of the Mondays.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:52:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck off.
StRyder91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I too have an allergy to wanky people.
haloraptor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say that it just reminds me of the Cleveland Elementary School shooting.
skyturnedred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's called a hangover, you cunt."
hyperblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks Garfield.
TheLuper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How bout' i buy you a 24 pack of shut the fuck up
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:54:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily a phrase but anything related to people saying how much they aren't "normal". Those stupid ads of "who would ever want to be normal?" Because the people that desperately try to be 'not normal' are the blandest people ever.
djdumpster ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 16:53:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Omgz I'm like really random sometimes it's crazy"
NJD03 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:40:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*cray-cray
Jigglyandfullofjuice ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:46:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holds up spork
Arcon1337 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't... You.. Dare.
Jigglyandfullofjuice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:39:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't need to, your brain already did. ^_^
[deleted] ยท 403 points ยท Posted at 15:13:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"She so cray-cray!"
blazik ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 15:55:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me people don't actually say this.
insomniaczombiex ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 16:37:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The woman two cubes down in my office says cray-cray frequently. She's 32.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:28:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say cray cray. I'm 28. I may or may not be saying it ironically. I don't know anymore.
FR_STARMER ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:56:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you go in too deep in the joke that it starts to consume you...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started saying it ironically after this one episode of gravity falls
I don't really do that anymore though
TrogdorTheSuperNinja ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:40:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like those are the only people who say cray or even cray cray anymore, middle aged women and people using it sarcastically. pretty soon it'll be the new yo/homie/lol/etc. and people will forget they used it sarcastically in the first place
insomniaczombiex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that's 25 and uses it all the time on conversation. I'm not sure if she's immature or trolling me because I hate it with fiery passion.
TrogdorTheSuperNinja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry
LitigiousWhelk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:25:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is she morbidly obese and/or of african descent?
insomniaczombiex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Neither. Skinny Puerto Rican chick. Close enough?
psiphre ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:02:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
we knew a girl named hayley who was probably certifiable. we called her cray-hay.
Thatoneguywhofailed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:37:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People say this.
Brutalitarian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sarcastically, usually.
halfdeadmoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone in my office says "awesomesauce" whenever I do anything to help her.
Hannyu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:46:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I hear a grown ass person say cray-cray I have the burning desire to kill their progeny so that they can't pass their stupid on to the next generation.
ReaderWalrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody does, don't worry.
DovahSpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not in a serious manner. Joking is fine depending on the context and delivery.
Hannyu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:46:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I hear a grown ass person say cray-cray I have the burning desire to kill their progeny so that they can't pass their stupid on to the next generation.
blazik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hannyu you so cray-cray!
Hannyu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:26:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Woah there Satan.
crewblue ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:48:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women do.
AlenaBrolxFlami ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:25:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not all women. I don't, and never have.
TheNargrath ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:09:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could. Hell, I'm still trying to find a polite way of telling my wife that even saying "Shit be cray" ironically is still bad form.
BevansDesign ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:50:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what's even worse than the people who say that? The people who say that because they're being "meta" or "ironic" or whatever. They know it's stupid, and they say it anyway.
applepwnz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:40:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started saying "cray" occasionally to be ironic... Then that thing happened that happens anytime you start saying something to be ironic.
AlenaBrolxFlami ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:25:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing I never say anything ironically.
linknmike ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:02:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why yo ackin so cray-cray?
SciFiXhi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're the one who's ackin cray cray!
Cuillin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fo' real-real!
homesnatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totes adorbs!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She ratchet
JGameCartoonFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Girrl, Why you ackin' so cray-cray?!"
Default_Admin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bitchez be cray cray.
birdhustler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITP: the life of the party
VAPossum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say stuff like to my best friend, but only my best friend. In private. When we're being stupid.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say it ironically
NIGGABABY_APPLEJACKS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that shit cray, ain't it jay?
Thac0isWhac0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's totes cray cray...
MortisMortavius ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:52:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See my problem is when people write "cray" instead of Kray... because they don't even understand the reference... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kray_twins
wadss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i thought it was just short for crazy? i dont think its actually a reference to anything.
flaming_oranges ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:20:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHY YOU AKIN" SO CRAY-CRAY?!
_TheGreatDekuTree_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:35:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omg. Bae be so cray!
overunderdog ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:49:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but saying "cray" is still totes cool right?
Deziac ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:32:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gurl, y u actin so cray-cray? (CRAY CRAY)
lilbigjanet ยท 341 points ยท Posted at 15:59:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not like other gay people"
[deleted] ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 16:42:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I never would have guessed you were gay!"
jrmax ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 17:50:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could totally pass for straight!
[deleted] ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 18:43:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're gay? But your voice..."
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:00:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're not like other [broad category of people]. It's just as bothersome when they say "You're not like other men" or "You're not like other black people," etc.
downhillcarver ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:35:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend say she hates bronies because they're all perverts that have corrupted a children's television show with their sexual obsession.
"not you though."
No. Shut up. You can't just completely trash a social group I identify with then expect me not to get pissed because you said "you're different.".
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:37:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHA
downhillcarver ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody who plays Dota2 is a basement dwelling neckbeard with zero social sense and even worse fashion sense.
Not you though.
There, is that a little more relatable for ya?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lmao thats true tho
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:21:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Either it's an insult to you or it's a compliment to you and an insult to all other gay people. There's something fascinating about a statement that no matter how it's interpreted is demeaning to someone.
_Peanut_Buddha_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:00:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, "Really? You don't look gay."
Nomikos ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:45:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Funny, you don't look like a condescending, generalizing asshole!"
TheFuckNameYouWant ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:38:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I've never even seen you suck a dick!"
Muffinator4 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:34:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I give waaay better head
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:03:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're just like other gay people."
l0c0d0g ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:12:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I know all gay people and you are not like them.
ghostofpennwast ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:33:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
>I'm pretty straight acting
[Claws eyes out[
asasdasasdPrime ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny because I'm not gay. ๐
tungstan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This is the best sex I ever had with a gay dude"
SPICY_BUTT_MILK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if it's true?
GeneralJabroni ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:23:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It all depends on what you're implying. If you're implying that gay men have a much keener sense of fashion than straight men, since it's a positive generalization and widely considered to be true then they might not correct you.
If you say something like "You're not like other gay people, you hardly talk!" then you're implying that gay people are chatty Cahty's and, being a negative generalization, you will be looked down upon by gay people, regardless of whether gay men in general really do talk more than straight men.
Just flip "gay" with "black"... you'll figure it out when it's appropriate and when it's not.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:27:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
InfiniteHatred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't sugarcoat it. Tell us what you really think. Lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One study hypothesized that this might be because homosexual people are more attentive to detail than heterosexual people are, apparently as an adopted perceptual style aiding in the recognition of other homosexual people.
superlittlegirlyay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh... the gaydar.
Sumtwthfs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, a million times yes. "You're my favourite gay person." Or "you're my GBF" makes me want to go feral and argumentative on their ass, but that would be rude.
Squirrel009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a heterosexual gay person?
Satans__Secretary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"lol that person looks so gay"
Really? Didn't know it was possible to tell somebody's sexual preference just by looking at them.
Steverbeaver14 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you not gay?
crit_D ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:20:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, maybe you're not like other gay people.
Kellan111 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In their defense, is anyone anything like each other? Straight or otherwise?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like hearing this. I don't like how a lot of gay people I know act.
CapitaineGateau ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And you're not like other straight people, because I'm about to kick your teeth in."
tentoace ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 17:54:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I roomed with a bunch of gay guys over the years, and there's almost instantly a way to tell, usually flamboyancy and dress sense (those guys upped my wardrobe game). Of the around 15 that I've known over the years, only 2 didn't "seem" gay. Although I don't think I was ever enough of an ass to say that to them.
inquisitivepanda ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:18:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like enough of an ass to say it.
MaxAugust ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:46:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine the statement as "you're not like other black people" and you start to get how offensive it can be.
tentoace ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:52:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get it, trust me. It's not something I'm defending, and I figured I'd sound like a dick, but I was just throwing what I felt in general through what I've seen.
CircusSizedPeanuts ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 22:35:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i'm a weirdo" usually followed by something that's not really weird. i went on a date with a woman that claimed she was a weirdo because she didn't like mayo. i told her that just made her someone that didn't like mayo but if she rubbed a dead bird on her naked body THAT would make her a weirdo.... she didnt come back from the washroom.
bigmeaniehead ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:37:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You were too weird 4 her ;(
grizno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I am absolutely going to use that line someday.
Gameaholyc ยท 4147 points ยท Posted at 15:34:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hitler did nothing wrong."
I hate it when people state the obvious.
[deleted] ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 18:36:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I must say "this is what hitler died trying to prevent" is a funny joke, however horrible.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 21:56:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coincidentally, that's also my second favorite insult
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:09:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 23:23:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a toss up between "cunt" and "mongoloid sub human fuck faced waste of oxygen and resources. You make people with actual mental retardation look like fucking brain surgeons. If I had to choose between shooting you, and shooting pol pot, mao zedong, and Kim Jong Il, I'd shoot you 4 times. A black hole isn't as dense as that calcified turd called your brain"
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:49:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn dog. That isn't even directed at me and I need a hug. :'(
HookaHooker ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:02:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn dog... inapprops
rodtang ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:35:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it would be a slight waste to shoot Kim Jong Il
ScrawnyTesticles69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:27:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...as well as everyone else listed
CJ_Jones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree with your use of mongoloid, but that being said that's a pretty good insult!
nolo_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's a toss up, wouldn't the loser be your second favourite insult?
NefariouslySly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
.... Damn.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:33:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing.
LParticle ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I..I have no words.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:58:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The second I heard from a drunk guy at a party. He said it with slurring his words once, then he promptly threw up and passed out
LDShadowLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you recommend repeating those steps for maximum effect?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recommend getting drunk enough to puke and pass out, idk how it effects the effectiveness of the insult
FuzzyLoveRabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This conversation just made a lot more sense.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not drunk, if I was everything I typed would make less sense than it already does
StuffWithWords ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:47:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It just makes me want some Mountain Dew.
CleanBill ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:33:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A cup of ole' good "Gooshing granny" is all I need. BArring that, "Green Fapple" then.
Azwethinkweist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:42:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fapple...ITS FAPPLE
ClusterMakeLove ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:11:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It'll give you diabeetus.
[deleted] ยท 183 points ยท Posted at 16:42:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know whether I should upvote you.
[deleted] ยท 598 points ยท Posted at 17:49:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SamsungGalaxyGreen ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 18:50:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, nothing like a little cup of political correctness in the morning.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Sup-Dude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit needs a little more 4chan in it's life.
tweeblethescientist ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit needs to remove 4chan from existance
pettcat ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:09:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jews aren't made to be fucked...
EpicTacoHS ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:33:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're made to burn in an oven.
notgrowingup ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:45:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
at 325 for about 15 minutes.
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:59:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't seem nearly hot enough or long enough.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You say that like one who is practiced in cooking large quantities of meat.
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:21:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you want to come over for a BBQ this weekend?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:27:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you can prove that the meat is authentic.
EpicTacoHS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:01:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're authentic then the meat's authentic. ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:19:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm as authentic as you want me to be, babe
PraetorGogarty ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:30:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can at least promise it's Kosher.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bagels, on the other hand, are meant to cooked in an oven and fucked.
FuzzyLoveRabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, so I'm down with Linlis' joke, cause there's a level of cleverness there, that this person theoretically could be commenting in an oblivious manner, not realizing that his/her vernacular is inherently offensive while commenting on a serious topic.
But I just don't see any cleverness in this one. It can work with visual humor, accompanied with a quick cut and reaction shots or something, but seeing it just written is like throwing it out there without taking the time to think of a punchline.
EpicTacoHS ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you taking it so seriously?
It's just a joke on reddit but you're right no subtlety kinda sucks
PigNamedBenis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
4chan is leaking
accepting_upvotes ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At this point it's significantly more XD XD EDGY XD XD than it is clever or witty.
lemmiwinks81 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:02:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, Bush did 9/11. Like thanks captain obvious.
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 19:59:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The real question is who did the other 2/11?
lemmiwinks81 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 20:04:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The jews
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just subtract Apu (he did the 7/11) from Bush. Is it not obvious?
mactroneng ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
OL_THUMPER ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:55:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
raises swastika mobile made of tampons
I'M SO RANDOM
Olakola ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:46:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea as a German I don't dislike those people I'm going to town on them. And that's not some friendly banter anymore. I'm gonna up my game and hit them in the face with power over 9000. Because I literally can't even. So don't judge me I'm just a bitch
Edit: where's my gold internet stranger or should I say asshole (don't judge me)
Edit 3: long live my inbox
kevinkit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:19:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The meta hurts.
somanayr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:10:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn it. Here have an upvote for your "edits"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
heh
dahlesreb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you don't have to be such a Nazi about it!
Olakola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AHHHHHHHH
Beat9 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:24:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He failed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oy vey, the goyims knowing, shut it down.
baymenintown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not true from all possible angles. 1. Killed a bunch of Jews for no reason 2. Invaded Russia during winter 3. Ate dinner w a salad fork. Motherfucker, even if you're a vegetarian you eat dinner w dinner fork. He was a monster.
tweeblethescientist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to downvote you, however I read your second line.
Hybrazil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What did he ever do to you?
yappingboy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:43:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
None of it was his fault, he was just the leader at a very inopportune time, everyone under him allegedly decided to hurt all those 'people'
monsieur_rain_dog ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:53:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really hate people who say they realise that Hitler was a bad man, "but you have to admire his leadership". Oh really, do I? I have to admire a man for lying his way to power and then murder 6 million people and eventually himself? I beg to differ.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:24:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
CalculusWarrior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, reading up on Hitler's rise to power, I realized that if you strip away all the genocide, race-hating, and horrible cargo shorts and socks, Hitler was an asshole.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same fuckers who admire Frank Underwood and Walter White (and I think society encourages way too many of them).
No, you're not supposed to root for them even though.
They are bastards.
echief ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't necessarily admire him but I do find him a fascinating person. Anybody who was able to convince basically an entire country to do the horrible things that he did is at least interesting.
crit_D ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First line: That's funny. I wonder how many times I've heard someone say that... Second line: I can't possibly upvote you enough.
say_or_do ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you wear high top dock Martin boots and think I look good wearing a little mustache?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying /pol/ is always right, but..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I certainly won't be one to jew you out of an upvote...
StackerPentecost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could afford to gild you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hitler had the right idea, just the wrong demographic."
Umbrella_merc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why but I always read that in Mort Goldman s voice
chappersyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He had bad ideas but good methods"
So gassing people to eradicate an entire race is good, just not the Jews?
SwagYoloJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Word
JuggernautV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But obama did everything wrong
elemexe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's infuriating bro. Why can't people just get the facts straight? And their genders?
ZombyTed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A gift, just for you
mouselander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's so refreshing.
TripleDMotorBoater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least he killed Hitler.
upchuckP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I'm definitely on reddit.com.
airborneaaron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst.
1LuckyAssSonOfABitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. It's like "wow. So brave".
TheRevachanist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2edgy4me
_billybob_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just like when people say bush did 9/11. There's no need to restate basic well known facts.
RojoBrosiiiah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First comment I laughed at.
Sweller_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean he wasn't wrooonggg...just an asshole ammiright??
mr_insomniac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he couldn't finish what he started, so he must've did something wrong.
JewsOfHazard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uhh
runs
darkfear95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But.. It's a joke. ;~;
Jambi95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just like when people say "The Jews did 9/11." So fucking obnoxious.
endless90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/Thread
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:24:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have to say that if Hitler did one good thing it was that he killed Hitler.
McNutty69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:56:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sir, are my favorite.
Amphabian ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:42:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
kek
chubbedup ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 18:54:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What are you doing in my house?" Asshole, it's none of your business what I do with my time!
VAPossum ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:31:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're usually the same jerks who say, "Get out of there, that's my purse/wallet! I don't even know you!" Christ, it's like I have ebola.
ThPreAntePenultimate ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:45:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... you can't own property man.
tweeblethescientist ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:48:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you
whateverfits ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:54:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I overheard my wife talking to her brother on the phone about a third family member. When he said "she needs to let go, and let god," I was suddenly very glad that he lives thousands of miles away and is unlikely to ever visit.
wackawacka2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:02:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like what they say at AA meetings.
InFerYes ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 21:31:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm reading a job opening and it requires 20 years of experience and civil engineering degree for an entry job, I instantly hate the HR rep that wrote the vacancy.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:48:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But they absolutely need 5 years of experience for something that was invented last year!
digitaldeadstar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:50:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone looking for a job right now, I get giddy when I see "entry level." Then want to cry when I see it requires multiple degrees, X amount of experience in not only the job itself, but various other fields, too.
ROCKIT_XIII ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:27:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fuck the Police" Especially when they just blurt it out whenever the subject comes up.
Fairy_footprint ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 16:49:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people add -gasm on to anything that doesn't start with "or"
Examples being: "w0w guyzz that song waz soo guys I just had an eargasm !!1!!!1!" "That food gave me a mouthgasm !"
Jigglyandfullofjuice ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 20:46:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does that count?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:10:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like maybe you've never cleaned your ears with cotton swabs after a shower. Then you would truly understand what an eargasm is, and be okay with that term.
ambivilant ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:54:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or heard a sweet guitar solo! Widdly-widdly-wah!
HitlerBinLadenToby ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:11:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is how I am with the suffix -porn, e.g. earthporn.
ElectroBoof ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:44:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like it was a really dumb idea from the start but we're just so deep in it's too late to change now
ZeMeepo23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:01:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kreygasm
kw1nn ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:20:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nerdgasm/geekgasm makes me cringe every time.
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:23:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what if you're rowing and had an oargasm?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:40:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Woah guys, check out this awesome canyon! I just had a chasmgasm!"
Barrel_riding_hippos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:59:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sex on a plate." That's fucking gross. It's always some fat guy and it just makes me picture them getting off from their food and what their poor tiny penis must look like because of all the fat.
LeopoldWolves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This post gave me a ....readgasm
count_o_monte_crisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Orangegasm
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can we still have Sadgasm?
stoopidJosh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:32:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mouthgasm
Uh... I don't mind that one. Blowjobs are awesome.
micster ยท 219 points ยท Posted at 17:02:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Everything happens for a reason'
Fuck everyone who says this shit. Usually it's after something terrible has happened to. Ex; 'Your dog died? That's horrible, but remember, everything happens for a reason'. Fuck off with that shit.
lodolfo ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:28:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And that reason is cancer."
That's how I like to answer to people saying that shit.
evman182 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:23:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I came in here expecting this to be the top comment. Maybe it upsets most people less than me.
inquisitivepanda ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:18:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On a similar note, "God has a plan" or "God works in mysterious ways".
BevansDesign ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:05:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the only reasons are physics and cause & effect. If you think there's some grand reason behind a thousand people dying in a tsunami, then you're an asshole and so's your god.
flaming_oranges ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A little hypocritical, how they spout objective morality, yet to their God, the end (His Plan) justifies the means (every bad thing that has happened).
chimi_the_changa ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:37:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me its better than believing they died for nothing, wiped away because of cruel chance
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So believing in an asshole god who planned for thousands of people to die due to planes been flown into buildings sits well with you?
Your intelligence level may be on par with a newt
AwkwardnessIsAwesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That wasn't God's doing...just saying.
chimi_the_changa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You seem really bitter
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You seem really stupid. Completely intellectually dishonest, and ignorant to reality.
tofu_popsicle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:50:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am disappointed that this is so far down. I control+f'd it because I knew someone else must understand.
This and "I regret nothing". Oh, OK, you sound like a great person to hang out with - either you believe you're perfect, or you avoid the important lessons that come with uncomfortable feelings just to feel better about yourself. Awesome.
LRedditor15 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:51:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, your dog died? And you've just found out that you have HIV from your now ex-wife who has recently had a miscarriage and is currently in hospital for being in a tragic car crash that killed both of your parents.
"Don't worry, everything happens for a reason. This is God's plan all along. He does work in mysterious ways!"
Hahahah no.
IMicrowaveTridents ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:36:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's all part of gods plan" WHAT, to give my brother cancer? fuck you
drallbran ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I say variations of this sometimes (obviously not with death that'd be dumb) and I use it to try and cheer someone up in a "I know this sucks now, but, it's gonna get better and in the long run it'll be a good thing and it'll have happened for a reason" sort of thing. Silver linings and such, but I'm not an asshole about it.
Frigguggi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And if this precipitates a long chain of events which leads to any amount of success or happiness in your life, it's seen as validation of this view. Meet your future wife in the orphanage? See, your parents' brutal, untimely death was all part of God's plan!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am going to punch you in the face. Don't worry. Everything happens for a reason.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And that reason would be your stupidity in this case, you fucking cunt." Whilst ripping the lead out of her hand, is the only correct reply.
thethreadkiller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Onetime somebody was preaching to me about God, I brought up why bad things happen to good people. I asked why my brother was so sick and dying? Her response was, "he probably did something bad in another life."
fckn_rockstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the first one I've read that actually triggered my inner rage. I HATE this one. Deep breaths....
MeppeKR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't upvote this enough.
ImNotADeer ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say this from time to time, but I mean it in the way of "anything that happens happens because some other event triggered it"
SkyF1y ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He said for a reason and not because of a reason
ImNotADeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True
Scumbag_Jesus ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 02:37:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God will take care of it."
I fundraise for an environmental non-profit.
MycTyson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:14:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He is doing a really shitty job. Also, relevant username.
Satans__Secretary ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:58:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He really is.
MycTyson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You may be a little biased :P
Satans__Secretary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just look at the facts, man.
BrownSugaaaa ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:42:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I only have guy friends because girls are way too much drama" Shuuuuttt uppp and stop trying so hard to fit in and be cool
SerSonett ยท 417 points ยท Posted at 15:48:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Banter!"
If you're British and use this phrase or any variants without irony - "I love a bit of cheeky banter!" "You bantosaurus-rex!" "I'm the Archbishop of Banterbury!" "Bants, mate, bants!" - I will wish you impotence and a painful, prolonged death.
Edit: you cheeky cunts
DovahSpy ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 17:15:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you suggesting you take this phrase seriously?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:03:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think somebody needs to get on the banterbus!
pooptrooper1 ยท 321 points ยท Posted at 17:19:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ur an absolute LAD for this cheeky post m8
perkiezombie ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 20:00:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone for a cheeky Nandos?
mojilove ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:11:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If anyone got here without reading this, get stuck in.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What on earth is this? I enjoyed it.
mojilove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine the weird side of youtube, but in prose.
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fucking ledge right here
Jubeii ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:33:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wot a ledge
billionsofkeys ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:59:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well lush
Coastty ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:10:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
RandomName01 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:07:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Serious question: why would you type LAD in all caps?
pooptrooper1 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:08:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
because of theLADbible and uniLAD, british meme facebook pages which are like buzzfeed but worse.
Big_N_Fluffy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:01:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My God.
They're evolving.
DanabluMonkey ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:05:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean devolving.
albadil ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:37:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ban-ter
Fowl_Eye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:46:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus they steal content off Reddit.
NorwichTheCiabatta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edwin Ban Ter Sar
xNotMyRealNameX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:18:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wat a legend
GrayCS ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 16:43:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends do this. I don't know whether they're being serious or mocking sterotypes now. I want to get off Mr Bones Wild Ride.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:04:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It starts as mocking stereotypes and then becomes second nature.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too bad, the ride never ends
JFens96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it me or do does this sound like the title for a porno?
TuskEU ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:04:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use banter in an ironic way so much that I'm not even sure it's ironic any more. I think it might be...
Aalnius ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:49:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i do that occasionally when i spend too much time around one of my best friends, we both start taking the piss out of something stupid and use it pisstakingly and then it eventually works its way into everyday usage for a while until we realise what we've done.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel this way about 90% of the things in this thread, I mean I can't even.
afireintheforest ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:50:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eric Bantona
IronicDuck ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:28:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess your nandos wasn't cheeky enough for you
come an see me m8s for sum spicy banta
Freihl ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:30:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if ur at nandos having a cheeky one
VertigoShark ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:53:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
u gotta banter when having a cheeky nandos with the lads
thehollowman84 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:11:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bants m8
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:41:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, that word was absolutely ruined for me when I moved to the UK.
ManWhoKilledHitler ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:42:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
u r 1 cheeky kunt m8
Biffburk ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:21:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
topbantz
GoodLordAlmighty ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:36:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes!! Also anyone who describes themselves as "cheeky".
ghangis24 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:17:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with being cheeky?
KA260 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently the Bahamas is like "the Hawaii of England", or so those nice tourists told me. There were tons at our hotel on a family vacation when I was a teen. I'm quite American. I was goofing around with some kids in the pool. Some young boy called me cheeky. I had never heard the phrase. But it sounded so adorable coming out of his mouth! My parents couldn't really give me a good definition. I still don't think I get it either.
singul4r1ty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's sort of flippant but in an endearing way. However usage has expanded to cover anything amusing or slightly silly, or maybe something you shouldn't really be doing.
the-bid-d ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also swear down
LocoRocoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:41:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just literally any of the words that are used by this type of person. I can immediately tell we shall not be remotely getting along and no it is not 'sick'
TheyCallMeThe-Man ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:34:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You cheeky sod, its all just a bit of banter m8. We're just 'avin a bit of a laugh you cunt
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:50:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any word derived from banter makes me want to kill someone. That, and "cheeky" or anything laddish is cringy as fuck
michaelceltic1888 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:33 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just cant hack the banter mate, its ok
eastcoastblaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now I look like an idiot for laughing at work. Thanks m8, now I have to deal with all the cheeky banter from the lads
JFens96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know a couple of people who just use this as an excuse to be dickheads. Whenever they say it I now just give them a death stare.
Lindley72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People like this need to be sent to Bantanamo Bay
kuroikawa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha, quality banter mate.
SCREAMING_FLESHLIGHT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started saying it as a joke.
Now I can't stop.
All aboard the banter bus!
LothartheDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I am the Archbishop of Banterbury.
Harrisbone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly: Cheeky Nandos
joef360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So filthy.
misjudged_porpoise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ballroom Banter, with Banton Du Beke
crit_D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't understand how you're supposed to use that word anymore.
DonOntario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you 'avin' a laugh?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bit o banter, no drama.
Sumtwthfs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why wouldn't a top, top lad want some cheeky banter at nandos? Do you not fink I'm literally Bant an' Dec?
In all seriousness though Lad 'culture' is a step forward from chav 'culture'.
Csantana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what about like Super hero - super villain exchange
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use the word, but only when I'm talking about scripts (budding filmmaker). Is that fine?
ThisIsATalkingPotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait this is an actual thing in Britain? I thought it was a huge joke and no one actually took it seriously.
xNotMyRealNameX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i heard that shit every fuckin day in school man
AtoZZZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait can someone please explain? Does banter mean more than just talking back and forth?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Manter.
thisaccountisbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an American, I love the term. I was hanging out with some of the worst people in existence. Every time they did something way over the line and terrible they would just say, "banter, mate!" It made everything okay.
RedCanada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you been to New York? You should visit Bantery Park.
Konker101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and fam. leave those words to the brits, they make them sound better.
JamesRustlington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've said it ironically so much now, its actually sneaked its way into my everyday vocabulary.
spiralled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TOP BANTS
thefroggfather ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:22:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but.. football365
Silent_Sky ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:34:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
American here.
Do I even want to know?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:00:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like somebody couldn't handle the bantz
Psychegotical ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 21:40:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boys will be boys!
No. Parenting determines the behavior of your child. Don't give an excuse because you're a shit parent.
97Chocoholic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:16:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funny how "boys will be boys" but "that's not how a young lady should act." My grandmother was terrible for this. Younger brother covered in mud, eating chook feed? Boys will be boys and is absolutely fine. I race under sprinklers and get my feet muddy? Be a young lady and not ok
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:50:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say exactly that to my sister when she helicopters her son. He'll be running around being a little ball of chaos outside and fall. He's tough as shit, and gets mud all over himself frequently. She is so worried about him encountering anything remotely dangerous that she smothers him. I tell her, "boys will be boys sis" to get her to stop fucking worrying and let him be a fucking kid. My niece is the one who needs constant attention and reassurance. Making her feel better is fine. Smothering my nephew when he just wants to go run in the sand and play army men with sticks is too stressful.
Goonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're obviously not a boy.
purplemoney ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure boys get offended by this too though, since it takes the blame for one guy's shitty behavior and puts it on all of them
Psychegotical ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
are you a parent?
mnlo3kp9 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:15:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If this is used to justify obviously bad behavior then i agree, but at the same time I don't believe it's useful or correct to believe that there are no inherent differences between the sexes.
While nurture seems to be more important than nature, a totally blank slate theory of mind is demonstrably false. There are obvious biological, hormonal and neurological differences between sexes that strongly influence behavior. Animals that have minimal capacity for social conditioning still have distinct behavioral differences between the sexes.
If the difference between boys and girls is wholly due to social conditioning then it should logically follow that gay and trans peoples sexuality and gender identities are also socially conditioned and could therefore be "corrected" which is obviously wrong. If you pump a man full of estrogen or a woman full of testosterone there are behavioral changes. There seems to be a huge push to treat behavioral differences between sexes as wholly learned and I think this can be just as damaging as treating behavior as wholly inherent.
empgdca ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 01:46:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, the gender of a child does, to a degree, determine their behaviour. Although I agree that if some boy is beating on other kids it's not just because he's a boy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unsure why you are being downvoted for stating well known fact.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 22:43:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Psychegotical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:14:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What happens in (place), stays in (place)!"
SHUT THE FUCK UP. Stop laughing at this joke.
HellfireAgnostic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:26:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's an excuse to do things you know you shouldn't be doing. A lame excuse, but a clear warning that they can't be trusted.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually hate it more when it comes from someone in the office trying to be funny. Most notably a trainer or HR person that is leading a meeting. "What happens in training room 2c stays in training room 2c!"
Zemogray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the context. Each year some friends and I go to a band sleepover (I'm in high school) and we have something Called "porch talk" and we always get really deep and talk about stuff we wouldn't share with others. It really brings it back together but it's meant for no one else but the people at the sleep over. No one else in school or family should discuss what we talked about ever.
qi1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What happens in AskReddit, stays in AskReddit bro.
idiotbyvillagewell ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 15:14:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SpehlingAirer ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:41:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agile is a method of project management commonly used by developers. "Being agile" just means the team is using that method. Similar to "we are a Java shop", "we are agile".
Crypt0Nihilist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was part-way through a demanding sprint and a senior manager asked me to do something that would take ages, which I politely declined. He told me that I needed to be more Agile because "we are an Agile company." It don't mean what he think it means.
greevous00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, agile doesn't mean "You need to do whatever the hell I come up with on the spur of the moment?" Hmmm... not sure if I like this agile thing... --Pointy Haired Boss
JudgeBacon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or anyone that observes "but we're supposed to be agile" due to your refusal to immediately and unconditionally drop everything you're doing to do whatever they want.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We must be swift as a coursing river?
ibbolia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With all the force of a great typhoon.
Schlick7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:59:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
JuggernautV2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:12:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to walk on your hand and type with your toes
OneDuchess ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:15:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me "ax" you a question
JamesRustlington ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:01:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I agree 100%.
I hear it more on US TV shows, than in the UK, but its still so annoying when it comes up.
Danimal1 ยท 267 points ยท Posted at 15:19:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody that says, "I seen it."
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 16:26:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Vox_Imperatoris ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle (from Alabama) always says that, too. He also uses "them" for "those" and "jokers" for "people / guys".
As in, "I seen them jokers at the store yesterday."
His_Support ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:30:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah! Isn't it "I've seen it"? :p
NewToSociety ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:41:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ah sent it!"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:30:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oi laddey I've sent it swarh on me mum
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but why did you add that smiley at the end? What purpose did that serve?
backstept ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:45:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or "I sawl it!
SkyrocketDelight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in 6th grade (11 year old) a girl in school wrote a sentence on the board: drawl a monarch butterfly.
Actually thought draw was spelled d-r-a-w-l.
WheezyTurtle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:59:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couldnt convince a GF this was incorrect. She said that because seen was past tense that she has to say, she seen it. I explained the wors saw and why it exists. She said im thinking of the wrong word. Shes my ex.
414RequestURITooLong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you break up for that reason?
Ultimate_Chimera ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously.
Cereborn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That and she wouldn't do anal.
WheezyTurtle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No she cheated on me a couple times, I was young
CafeNino ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 15:43:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What makes me shutter even more is when they put a "t" at the end of "seen".
"I seent it."
iambecomeaname ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 15:51:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're just fucking with us, aren't you?
NocturnalToxin ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:52:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, he's clearly a camera that triggers upon hearing certain phrases.
Suuperdad ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:08:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be a fucking anti-camerite
Kenny__Loggins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:05:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could'nt of thought of a better way to russell everyones jimmis.
Figgler ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 15:53:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a quote from Pineapple Express.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:36:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's much more popular to say now because of the movie. I know tons of people who say it who normally wouldn't because of the movie, myself included
thainebednar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who grew up in a small town long before PE came out I can attest that there are people who say seent, cousint probably annoyed me more though.
mgreco1988 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:53:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say that jokingly in reference to Pineapple Express.
Myrdok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this on purpose.....at least once a day usually. It's a quote from Pineapple Express. I do, however, reserve my use of this joke/quote/goofiness to times when the people I'm saying it to actually have seen Pineapple Express and know that this is a joke.
TeleKenetek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I seent it is the correct pronunciation.
mycannonsing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:57:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you saw it?
Freihl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dunno man, ill let people have their speech patterns and dialects.
When people write it though hoooo boy
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Freihl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A dialect isnt wrong. If you legit believe everyone should speak the queens english thats pretty sad.
TeamLiveBadass_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Lookie here"
lethal909 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lookit this sumbitch righ cheer.
splooshcupcake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't move to Kentucky.
looklistencreate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to suck dick for coke.
TexasFightHookEmHorn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:40:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I seen it!
Reamofqtips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I knew someone once upon a time that took it to a new level with "I seened it"
ArcticTerrapin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I seent it Ftfy
Alto_Madness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is annoying. I seen it.
Twizler73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my 9th grade history class me teacher would ask you for your "words of wisdom" on your birthday, which would just be a meaningful quote from you. It could be anything from "Eat your vegetables" to lyrics from a Nickelback song. Near the end of the year the teacher would write your name on the calendar to say your words if your birthday was during summer vacation. My favorite words were: "I seen it on the board yesterday, but I forgot can I do it tomorrow?" Fucking Dustin.
hawtfabio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I seen this post and I totally agree!
ilostmytaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god I know people who say "I seent it!"
Thechadbaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't ever travel to northern NY.
Renown84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend from Saskatchewan who constantly says this. I've tried explaining the difference between seen and saw many times to no avail. Now I just correct her whenever she says it to piss her off.
pemibo83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work with someone who "seen" everything.
Space_Cranberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I seent it too!"
jinxjar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you seen my car keys?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't go to Pittsburgh
TwoTecs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like a 27-inch Zenith, believe it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I SEENT IT
Cereborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is sadly a regional thing where I live because I heard it all the damn time. That and "tooken" instead of "taken".
vivvav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How about "I done seen it"?
baddhinky ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:22:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boss says this. She is an amazing woman but goddamn it, it makes my skin crawl!
VerandaPrimate ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:15:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I seent it
Kenny__Loggins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:04:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I seent it
PapaBradford ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 19:30:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Nigger isn't a racial slur, it just means ignorant."
What. The fuck.
throwmes ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:40:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear that a lot where I am from. Usually it is more along the lines of "Not every black person is a nigger."
Do you understand how ignorant and racist you sound? You basically just switched out "rectangle" for "black person" and "square" for "nigger" and stole that out of a second grade classroom. Also, quit being so racist!
Freevoulous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get why this would be offensive, but how else would you call that subculture/stereotype?
If we swich the races around: not every white person is a white-trash/chav. But this does does not change the fact that WT/chavs DO exist as a very specific subculture, with its own specific set of behaviors, morals, ideas and social conduct.
Essentially, how would you call (for lack of better description) a social group of "black-trash" people who strongly and on purpose, fullfill the n***er stereotype? Even if we invent another word to describe that social phenomenon, it will just become another offensive term...
The same goes for any other group that suffers from offensive stereotyping, yet some of the group's members (often a large percentage) fulfill the stereotype perfectly, and actually match the offensive description.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thebloodofthematador ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's not really... the same thing. Words have power. For example, you can call your girlfriend "sweetheart," because you have that kind of relationship with her, but I can't call her that, because she's not my girlfriend and we aren't in a situation where I can talk to her like that.
dowhatuwant2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Words only have the power that people give them, stop giving words you don't like power.
thebloodofthematador ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:26:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay. You go up to the next black guy you see, call him the n-word, then tell him words only have the power you give them. Let me know how he takes it.
dowhatuwant2 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can be aware that words only have the power people give them while at the same time being aware that people get stupidly offended by 6 letter words and knowing what the likely consequences of that situation would be.
Just because that person doesn't understand that he's the one giving power to the word he hates doesn't change that its the truth.
thebloodofthematador ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:07:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spoken like a man who's never been called a slur that really affects how people see him.
dowhatuwant2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have been actually, but that is their problem not mine as it did not affect how i saw myself.
Zemogray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Call me old fashioned but I prefer not to be called the same word people used to call slaves..
dowhatuwant2 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not? The free blacks at the time were referred to by the same name anyway's so it's not like it was slave specific it's just a word from that time period that literally comes from the french and spanish words for black.
Martin-wav ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:34:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
black people don't call eachother that lol
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My high school begs to differ.
fruit17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever heard of hip-hop
Anaklumos12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:49:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who the heck says that?
thebloodofthematador ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:53:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who want to point out how racist they're not. "I don't hate ALL black people, just the bad ones! The ones who act white and have office jobs are good black people. The rest, well, you know."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:29:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a Chris Rock routine in the 90s...
Ryanmjesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:43:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I somewhat remember Uncle Ruckus saying this..
zajicraft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha! So bloody ironic!
gymger ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 21:38:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Boys will be boys."
No. Teach your kids to not be fucking thoughtless barbarians.
Fuck you Mrs. P for telling me "boys will be boys" when I asked you to say something to the boys throwing tennis balls at my head during class.
VAPossum ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:40:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is just seriously wrong. :/
gymger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it went like this:
I was bullied quite a bit back then, and the teachers were no help; hell, the guidance counselor suggested that since my grades were so good, that I leave the 8th grade early.Anyways, at my middle school, we had tennis balls with slits cut in them on the ends of all the chair legs, to prevent damage to the floors. Those things were old and dirty and just generally nasty. One day 4 of the bullies, all boys, decided to take all of the tennis balls off of the chairs and toss them around during free time. This escelated to them literally pelting me with these dirty tennis balls, in front of everyone. I tried asking them to stop, telling them to stop, and putting my head down, till finally I looked up to the teacher (who was distracted at her desk) and started crying and said "Mrs P. can you please make them stop??" To which she laughed and said "Oh no, boys will be boys!"
Obviously not the worst thing anyone has been through, but its left me pretty salty none the less.
larrymoencurly ยท 184 points ยท Posted at 15:49:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
"That's your opinion."
axearm ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:10:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOU GODDAMN LIAR!
TasbirM ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:17:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Also when "just my opinion" or "oh sorry I have an opinion pffft" after they've said something (usually something arrogant) as if it's a fact and disregard any other arguments as "just your opinion man"
Well 2+2 = 5, hey just my opinion lol. If you say 4, it's like just your opinion.
/s
AuraMasterNeal ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:02:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2 + 2 โ 5
larrymoencurly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:20:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've spoken to people who've said 2+2 = 4 was just my opinion or, "It depends on what you believe."
Prince_of_Savoy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:02:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It depends on what base you use.
larrymoencurly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The non-weasel base.
77795 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:59:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well when people get irritated or really pissed for you expressing your valid opinion, it is perfectly okay to say, "I'm sorry you feel that way about the way that I think, because I see by your reaction that there is no way I'll ever get across to you." When you're arguing with somebody who is completely biased/irrational, I totally understand using both of the phrases you hate...
.
.
.
.
So I'm sorry you feel that way.
larrymoencurly ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:17:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's not because it's always a lie.
77795 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:51:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I genuinely feel sorry for somebody who was brainwashed into faulted logic so hard that nothing can be said or done to change their mind. Be careful of your usage of the word "always"...
McNutty69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:02:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't even have to be a matter of right or wrong. You can be sad just that you can't see eye to eye.
tersonality ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:21:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'd like to agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."
larrymoencurly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:18:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least that's honest.
Csantana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that is funny for like a movie or something but would get way overused
GettysBede ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:10:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I ask folks why this is hated?
I use it professionally when someone gets aggressive and I'm not changing my position on something. I've found it helps me get the fuck out of a conversation I don't want to be in anymore and still get what I need out of it. I'm open to replacement ideas though.
shevrolet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is when it's used when the person apologizing is actually in the wrong. It's used to avoid responsibility.
larrymoencurly ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:16:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's never, ever said by anybody who really is sorry. It's words of contempt or words from an extremely shallow, clueless, out of touch person. It's plain dishonest.
713984265 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry you feel that way about the phrase since I feel like it can be used to express empathy as a third party uninvolved in a situation in which they disagree with someone.
larrymoencurly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It expresses insensitivity, arrogance, stupidity so much that it was awarded the Paul Bremer Prize For Social Tone Deafness.
check_meowt_meow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:56:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband always pulls the "well, that's your opinion" shit. Like no fucking shit.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:11:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when people say things, they don't literally mean exactly what the words say. In this instance, when you say "well, that's your opinion", there is an implied "and it doesn't mean jack shit to me, so fuck off"
bluerose1197 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:15:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've used both of those, but normally its right after some relative has made some sort of really racist/uninformed/religious comment that is just really shitty, but I know I can't change their mind and it would cause a huge argument to do so, so I use one of these to just move the conversation a long. It expresses that I disagree with them but that I'm not going to get into it with them.
larrymoencurly ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But "I'm sorry you feel that way" is never true and is always an obviously underhanded way to express contempt for the other person, as is "that's your opinion."
bluerose1197 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:46:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, for some things I really am sorry they feel the way they do. Because many times I feel they could be so much happier if they felt differently. Even if I am expressing contempt, its still a lot nicer than saying some of the other things that normally come to mind.
larrymoencurly ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No.
bluerose1197 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:59:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that is where our opinions differ.
larrymoencurly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're such bad as faux pas that they're what Michael Scott would say. Dwight Schrute would also say them, but only intentionally, to be cruel.
JFens96 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of Similar: "I'm sorry if you're offended".
This is not a proper apology, you're just apologizing for how the remark was received, not the fact that you made the remark.
larrymoencurly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then don't offend.
JFens96 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:50:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What I meant was that people who say this should instead apologize for making the offensive remark in the first place.
Freevoulous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what if the remark was NOT offensive, and the one who feels offended is just an overly sensitive asshat?
Honestly, while I don't use the phrase personally, most times Ive heard somoene said:"I'm sorry if you're offended", it was the "offended" person who was the idiot, not the offendee.
JFens96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fair point, I guess it depends on the context.
metal_monkey80 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:43:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll admit to using the first one expressly for the purpose of pissing off an ex.
SheikDjibouti ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:40:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry you feel that way, in my experience, is someone's way of just diffusing or brushing off an argument they don't want to deal with. I basically use it as "fuck off and stop trying to argue with me I'm not taking your bait."
larrymoencurly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
"Well, I'm sorry you're such a cunt."
McNutty69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like there are proper scenarios for "I am sorry you feel that way". Maybe I just haven't heard it in inappropriate ones though.
larrymoencurly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
They're so bad that they belong with "calm down" to calm down people -- always the wrong and worst things to say.
Hanta3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's your opinion, and I respect it, but..."
larrymoencurly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...I don't really mean any of that."
alazaay ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:05:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But sometimes that's all I can say, short of "shut your god damned mouth you fucking lippy waste of air."
I say this mostly when people come to my cash register and just complain about something I have no power over. Sometimes they don't even ask for anything, but just to let me know something at the pool sucks.
"Whoever set your open times (5am) in the mornings should be fired."
"I shouldn't have to pay for the full price of a monthly membership if I only come once a week."
But occasionally, "My iPhone does everything and more than xyz". That is definitely an opinion.
larrymoencurly ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only people who say "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "that's your opinion are dumb or are immature lowlife weasels who think, "shut your God damned mouth you fucking lippy waste of air."
alazaay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry you feel that way.
medschool_whats_that ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
command+f "i'm sorry that" oh, there it is. have an upvote.
-eDgAR- ยท 537 points ยท Posted at 16:02:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't date anyone under 6ft"
[deleted] ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 20:06:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Gorillamike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do, and I don't take no for an answer :)
[deleted] ยท 169 points ยท Posted at 17:02:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This enrages me. I'm considered tall for a woman - I've dated men my height and shorter. When someone who is 5'4" tells me 5'10" is "too short for them" I want to push them in to traffic.
The whole stigma about the man being taller than a female SO irks me. But I'll save that for a more relevant thread.
nishikihebi ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 17:23:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 5'6", 5'7" or so and used to feel uncomfortable around taller girls until I ended up dating a girl who was 5'10" and frequently wore heels. After you acclimate and realize that societal stigmas are bullshit, you realize how little it matters and that tall girls are kind of awesome. (It's also great when you can't comfortably reach something on a shelf and she can hand it to you.)
Biggity_Niggity ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 22:44:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taller girls are fun. Makes you feel like a little monkey climbing a tree.
And then fucking the tree.
Willbuscus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:47:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ _เฒ
wlee1987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:20:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like a woodpecker
DennethMayhem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, I would probably prefer girls who are taller than me, unfortunately I'm 6ft 3.5" so I don't find many people taller than me. Never met a girl taller than me though.
CorkyKribler ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 00:09:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and then the tree gets an sti unless it goes pee-pee and then you feel bad so you buy the tree some cran-cran juice and salve
what__ever ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:33:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The comment train seems to have derailed
Jimmy-The-Squid ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:51:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a uti you can get from not peeing after sex, not a sti. themoreyouknow.gif
CarLucSteeve ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:38:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that and infinite legs to play with. And shower sex is at the exact right height.
cartoonhero42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:55:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except when you're 5'-9" and your SO is 5'-10". you'd think that would work out great, but not when you're all leg. My hips end in his chest. D:
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:28:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The image I have in my head is very strange
Evilsqirrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining a shower with a pull-up bar attached to facilitate the transaction.
Thunderbridge ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:56:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the love handle.
joavim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Underrated comment.
TheFuckNameYouWant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry bro, now I'm picturing you as like a mini-her. Like half her height. Like a midget.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheFuckNameYouWant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It did make me feel... weird. Not sure about better, but eh whatever at least I can feel something, you know?
smackythefrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet her hair smells nice.
famousninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have this itching feeling that's something I could never experience, and I'm not NBA tall, just your average six footer.
Kriket308 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:34:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was always self conscious about being taller than my husband (im almost 6ft.) Then I suffered a spinal cord injury and am a 24/7 wheelchair user, now. Wellp, solved that problem. No longer self conscious.
getoutofheretaffer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:34:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...yay?
_mnk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's one way to look at it I guess...
Woyaboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty damn cool of you to become a paraplegic for the sake of a social stigma. Genuine question, are you able to have sex?
Kriket308 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, of course. My vagina didn't "fall off" as a result of paralysis. :)
nobodytoldme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look at Mrs. Brightside over here!
Kriket308 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's a gift.
Lindseywastaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 5'9" and I've always had trouble finding guys who are taller than me. I just wanted to wear heels. My fiance was in a car accident eight years ago and suffered a spinal chord injury and now he uses a wheel chair as well. So, I can wear whatever shoes I want to because he'll stay shorter than me until he walks again.
joavim ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:03:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Until he walks again? I have news for you...
Lindseywastaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And what would that be? That he will never walk again? That there will be no spinal chord injury repair any time soon?
Don't be an asshole. That's not even funny to joke about.
Kriket308 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So his comment didn't need to be said, and in the spirit of trying to be funny, he came out looking all asshole-ish. That doesn't mean he's wrong though. Keep your chin up about a cure. But when your neck gets tired of holding it up while you wait, feel free to relax and be realistic with the rest of us SCI sufferers.
My husband has the same attitude as you. A cure is coming. Yup, so is Jesus, apparently... I think it's easier to remember that science is a LONG way from coming up with a safe, viable, reliable, and cost effective cure right now. It's better to accept the reality (he'll never walk again) than to hope for a miracle.
Now that I've been a Debbie-Downer, I'm off to shatter others' dreams!
Lindseywastaken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It infuriates me. I know it's going to take a while. There's like six or seven different cures that have been started. A handful of fully paralyzed people regained movement after trying out this electrode method. I don't recall the details of it, though. There's implants of various sorts that have allowed paralyzed mice to walk again. It's not like scientists are just leaving para/quadriplegics to be in a wheelchair forever. It's very much a real possibility that paralyzed people will walk again.
This is probably going to sound stupid but I think I need to make peace with the fact that he may never walk again. It's stupid that it affects me this much but I love him with my entire heart and I wish so badly that he could hug me from behind by surprise while I'm doing dishes or that he could pick me up and spin me around. It's just little things that I miss like hell that I wish I could have.
How do y'all sneak in small bits of intimacy? Like other couples hold hands in stores and things like that. What do you guys do?
Kriket308 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are most certainly strides in finding a cure, so to speak. But the spinal cord is such a complicated part of the body, it's not as easy as simply plug and play. I am quite familiar with epidural electrodes, and the implications are incredible. However, these guys aren't getting up to dance. They get a toe wiggle, or if they do stand, it's with pretty significant effort. If it's a lot of effort to stand and walk with, still, an obvious impairment, that's not a cure in my book. Lots of cool shit happening (believe me, all I want is to give my husband a body-to-body, full contact hug, so I keep abreast of the goings on.) It's just so, so far from being a cure, I haven't let myself get excited. Not to mention, all are still a trials. The FDA is MILES away from even recognizing those kinds of therapeutic efforts. Like I said, we are a ridiculously long way from something safe, viable, reliable, and cost effective. Unless your fiancee and I win a scientific trial lottery (i.e. get chosen for a test that works.) We won't see the benefits for a long time.
It's not stupid for the need to make peace. It is NOT stupid that it affects you. That's the bullshit part of SCIs. It's not just the injured that suffer. And I don't mean for you to stop hoping for a cure. It's just, from personal experience, the "making peace" part is a lot easier if you stop thinking about the what-ifs and the maybes. Stay in the here and now. I want nothing more to stand up, put pants on, know when I have to pee, etc. But I can't move on with my life if I sit here and think about what could maybe happen someday.
I am pretty adept at handling my wheelchair one-handed (as long as terrain cooperate.) I'll hold his hand, and wheel with the other. I use his hand as a stabilizer, and he knows it, so he keeps it stiff (haha, pun not intended) so I can still move about. He'll stand near my chair and I'll grab onto his waist, rest my head on his tummy. He'll stand behind me and massage my neck. Sometimes, I'll just grab his shirt collar and yank his face to mine. Playful, but you gotta take what you can get. It's certainly not the same, and I mourn for my operational lower half. But nothing is going to change anytime soon, so I may as well make do.
I'm sorry you are going through this. Never feel guilty for being mad, upset, sad, angry, etc. about all of it. Being a big part of his life, you are entitled to have those feelings (people who aren't with someone disabled are allowed that too, so why not you?) Don't feel bad that you want things he can't give you. I guarantee he wants those too. It's just the nature of the shitty hand life gave us.
Lindseywastaken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you so much for all of that. Everything you said were things I needed to hear.
theheavyisaspy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:54:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a 6'3" guy. I think dating a girl that was taller than me (without heels) would be...awkward. Although I'd have no problem with a tall (5'10"-6'3") girl. That's actually a plus in my eyes. Personal preference, perhaps.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:03:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a 5'9" woman, I envy taller women that are perfectly fine with dating shorter men. I don't give a crap about social stigma, I can't date men shorter than me or, if they're close to my height, super skinny, because I'm incredibly insecure about my own height and weight.
I've dated a couple of guys who were an inch or so taller or shorter than me, but they each weighed 130-145 and it made me feel ginormous in comparison when I was only anywhere from 10-20 lbs heavier than them at the time. I don't like feeling like I could squish or break the guy I'm dating :(
ikorolou ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:31:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a dude whose around 6' and kinda heavy, heyyyyy
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:37:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heyyyyy
ikorolou ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:49:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was mostly just being silly, but actually tho what's up? What type of music you listen to?
squipped ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ah i totally feel you! i'm 5-10 and weigh maybe 160? and i just want to feel small in someone's arms so they have to weigh more than me and yeah preferably at least 5-10.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if he was an mma fighter? He'd probably squish you. Or what if he lifted? Would that have made it palatable to you?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually did date an mma fighter who was about an inch taller than me, and I was comfortable with his height/weight because he was bigger, usually between 175-190.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The question was actually in the context of the person you dated who was 130-145 lb and an inch shorter than you. If this person was an mma fighter (i.e. can fuck you up), would he be datable to you? It basically solves the problem of "height". Cause you seem like you really just want to know if your man can dominate you in a fight.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ooohhh I misunderstood lol. In that case, it wouldn't matter. The guy that was about an inch taller and 135 did do ammy mma, but he couldn't put on any weight. So he was a pretty lean guy, not weak or anything, but it still made me uncomfortable/insecure.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:14:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so you only care that he looks like he can fuck you up. =/ Okay.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol no, he can be a little chubby, that's nbd. If he's a little chunky, I don't feel like I'm going to break him and he's more fun to cuddle. Win-win!
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no actual measurement requirement, but I wouldn't date a man shorter than me either. I'm 5'7" though, so its not that hard.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:09:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the cultural notion that men should be taller than the women is stupid, but at the same time, I don't think it really makes sense to get mad at somebody for their preferences.
joavim ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:00:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not? It's their right to have a preference, but it's also my right to find their preference stupid and infuriating.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:31:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How can someone's sexual preference be stupid? It's, by definition, subjective.
Kyddeath ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:39:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have always dated women shorter then me but never thought it would be an issue. Just dated and married shorter women.
PM_ME_YOUR_BURDENS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:07:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like tall women, even though I'm average at 5'10"
How you doin'?
JuggernautV2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:08:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well as a kid who has height issues. A 2 meter brother doesnt help and a lot of girls taller dont help either. Its more damaging to me than most people feel. Like im somehow not a man or just outright a kid
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
As a dude who is 5'6", I can kind of understand where they are coming from though. I'm usually attracted to petite women of some kind of color (they could be white with a tan, hispanic, black, whatever) with nice asses. That's not to say I'm not attracted to taller women; I just less frequently am like "holy shit, look at her," towards a woman that's over 5'8".
What bothers me is when women seem to hold out for that guy who is 6'4" (not any taller or any shorter), a professional athlete with a PhD and who also volunteers for doctors without borders during the off season (because of he needs to have an MD too). Guys seem a little less likely to hold out for that "perfect" girl in my opinion (although maybe I'm wrong). I chalk that up to men being more likely to want to fuck something instead of nothing.
Regardless, I don't let this shit bug me too much because they're SO many women who don't want to sleep with me simply based off of me being 5'6". Why should I waste time getting pissy over someone who's so shallow as to not want to hook up with/date me because I'm too short for them? They don't take anything else about me into account; fuck wasting any time on them over something so petty.
Edited for grammar
xXx420gokusniperxXx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:05:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 5'7" and the only girls who have ever been interested in me have been my height or taller. Girls who are 3+ inches shorter than me say I'm too short for them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love tall women, I don't know why any one would dislike it.
-Champloo- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone has a preference for what they're attracted to... there's really nothing wrong with it.
I generally like shorter girls. I don't know why, I just do. Now I don't turn down taller girls just because they're tall, but I am generally less attracted to them. The same can apply in the opposite direction.
NefariouslySly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe their just not physically attracted to taller women and it has nothing to do with stigmas. I have a 5'7" friend who simply doesn't find taller girls attractive. Just like some girl like/dislike beards, body hair, other physical features.
People have preferences; deal with it.
Pink_Mint ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's fair to be enraged. Like... People like what they like, and it's allowed. Who actually cares? I'm attracted to short/petite girls only, and that's fine. Just like it's fine to be attracted to tall girls only, tall men only, short men only, redheads only, etc. I don't think it's anyone's business what anyone else is attracted to.
Aalnius ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tbf i don't like to date women that are taller or about as tall as me because i prefer short girls and it isn't really anything to do with a specific height.
I am 6ft 3" though so not too many women taller then me where i live anyway
El_Profesore ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:48:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chill out, dwarf
sorry
WheezyTurtle ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 16:55:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is bad with online dating. Whenever a girl asks my height i want to ask their weight. . .but i dont.
Oberon_Swanson ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 17:28:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You might as well. If she's asking you're height and you're not tall enough for her she's going to pass on you. You might as well try to get her to see what's wrong with her thinking.
WheezyTurtle ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:43:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, I get the whole thing but its still pretty shallow in most cases when they ask then respond with "ok good".
famousninja ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:01:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just got flashbacks of online dating. I'm not that great with carrying small talk over an email chain, especially when I have ask all the fucking questions all the fucking time, to the point where I began asking the most bizarre questions from left field just to get a reaction from a human fucking being outside of: "ok u?"
Is there some secret that people have for this shit that I don't know? Because all I get from online dating is the crushing sense of utter worthlessness at every message that has three words or less.
Damn it, I just wanna meet awesome people!
this is in no way a cry for help
xXx420gokusniperxXx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:09:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me man, you're way better off in real life. It takes a little bit to get used to approaching girls, and it feels safer for your ego to do it online, but the success rate is SO much higher in real life.
They're judging you based on what's in front of them, no bullshit. With online dating they can just put a certain age range, a certain minimum height, endless qualifications and exclude almost everybody. IRL if you're cool you've got a shot even if you don't meet some ridiculous laundry list of criteria.
famousninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's a realisation I came to a while ago. I just like to have a whinge every now and then.
Although I'm probably in no place to get involved in a relationship - there's a whole ball of intimacy and esteem issues I've gotta work out.
WheezyTurtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I rwally don't know anymore lol, its gotten to a point where my coworker who uses the same site as me has to sift through 20 messages a day, i have to send 20 out to get a response lol.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:30:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If any girl asks for my height, I almost always ask them for their weight. Sometimes it works out well, and the girl tells me her weight, I tell her my height and we are both cool with the answer and we have a good time knowing that the other person has physical preferences and that's fine.
But sometimes they blow up at me, and that's when it goes from "Fine" to "Hilarious"
bijouxette ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:24:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why i put on my profiles "I'm a fat girl. If you like that, hi! If not, that's cool too."
WheezyTurtle ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:42:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love honest profiles, makes talking so much easier and no weird explanations about stuff. Now quick, help the others understand!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hi we should meet irl.
bijouxette ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh really?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I did online dating, honesty > the shape you're in :)
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:33:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
WheezyTurtle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:40:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand it can be an ice breaker too, its just weird to be expected to answer the question and have most women determine date-ability off it. Its not a big deal to me but i have a buddy whos 5'3 and he hates it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:03:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
WheezyTurtle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats cool of you :)
mr_lab_rat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So do you answer the weight question?
fruit17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If anything it's more fair to ask about weight. Your hight cannot be changed, it is pretty well determined at birth. Your weight, in most cases, is a reflection of your lifestyle, diet and self control.
w00kiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll give another example from a female point of view. I was on POF years/ages ago. Dude said on his profile that he was 6ft 2.. that's nice. I'm ok, whatever.
In person he is no taller than 5ft 9. If he had been honest, I wouldn't have made a big deal. But because of that I did ask a few other guys if they were truly (insert height here). If you'll lie about a small thing that doesn't really matter what else are you going to lie over?
Thankfully I'll never have to do that again.
WheezyTurtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely understand that, its sadly one of the risks of online dating. Thanks for the other side of it though :)
axearm ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:13:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone over 6ft I just passed on those profiles. I get it that women prefer men taller than them, but it the genetic lottery that made me this way and it's sad that this is going to be your limiting factor. (A pass if you too are 5'11" or 6')
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 18:45:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do some guys get mad at this because they can't change their height, but then say "oh I'd never date a black girl, I don't find them attractive."? It's all preferences. All preferences are okay. Don't be a hypocrite.
beautyinburningstars ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 20:24:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for saying this. I get annoyed when people complain about women having preferences about the physical makeup of a potential SO. Everyone has preferences. Me wanting to date a guy who is taller than me is the same thing as a guy wanting to date someone who they find attractive. People are allowed to be a little picky and physical attractiveness DOES matter to an extent. If a guy is significantly shorter than me (5'10"), I am just not as physically attracted to him. I would say sorry, but I'm not, because there is nothing wrong with it.
asblue91 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:54:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you BUT...
There is a difference between a 5'7" - 5'10" girl wanting a guy at least her height versus a 5'3" girl who says she'll only go for 6'1" or taller. I fall into the former category and am totally fine with a guy under 6ft as long as he isn't shorter than me. But some of my short female friends will literally not touch a guy who is not "tall" and it drives me insane.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:19:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually there isn't.
Someone has preferences, however ridiculous you may find them is not a bad thing.
Hell i'm only 5 10 but i'd love to date a girl who was 6'10. It doesn't personally matter that much to me, but certain things do and are deal breakers. I have a thing for very tall women.
Another thing to consider is some women factor in high heels. They only ever want their guy to be noticeably taller then them in all circumstances, to be able to look up, or have to look up and have him bend down to kiss her. 6'1 to a 5'4 girl may seem insane, but if she wears 5' inch heels one day and he's 5'11 she may hate the idea of her being at eye level now with him.
killmekillmekillmeki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh, as a 6'4 dude, being eye level with a chick(or anyone really) is FUCKING FANTASTIC. Instant best friend in my book.
asblue91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ruling out a human being because of high heels? I stand by my statement. That's fucking stupid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love how you skipped the most important part, pulled a strawman and tried to invalidate the argument when I was giving an example of some people's reasoning.
For sake of argument even though it's not the point. Let's say we both agree it's okay for a girl to want a guy taller. Therefore when she wears high heels and he is only an inch taller she now towers over him.
Do you not see how someone might not like that when they want there boyfriend to be taller? That honestly sounds ridiculous to you?
arturo_lemus ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing wrong with having your preferences. I think its an issue when you would immediately dismiss a guy or pay him no mind whatsoever just because he's shorter than you
I said that thing about black women once but ive became friends with some and i was actually attracted to them both physically and mentally. Thats just one factor in physical attraction, it shouldn't be a deal breaker at least thats how i see it
beautyinburningstars ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:31:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get what you're saying, but everyone has their dealbreakers. Some men won't date heavier women, some women won't date shorter guys. I agree that it can be superficial and that it is wrong to write a guy off completely just for that, but tons of guys have the same level of superficiality when it comes to dating (in my experience). I'm not trying to justify writing people off for something like their height, but it's just how things are unfortunately. If someone isn't interested, telling them that they are being superficial isn't going to change how they feel or their preferences.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:27:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think OP is referring to the same type of people.
The type of people that I dislike, and I'm assuming OP is the same way, are the girls that say "I won't date anyone under 6ft" and then bitch when a guy won't go out with her overweight friend "just because she's overweight." Girls who do this are EVERYWHERE.
That's where the whole "guys can't change their height" argument comes in...because in most cases, that girl's friend COULD change her weight...but for some reason, his having weight preferences is insensitive but her height preferences are justified
other than that, I don't think most people care if you say you prefer a certain height, we all have our preferences.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
empgdca ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:44:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People have sexual preferences, and it's not because they're racist, it's because they have a natural attraction to whatever they're attracted to. People are attracted to different things in a partner, and race is one of those things. I think Asian women are often very attractive, but not because of that "harmful stereotype" you mentioned, which coincidentally, I've never even heard of. Come to think of it, I've never heard any stereotypes about Asian women. Same with black women. And yet, I find myself being more attracted to Asian women than I am to black women, and in turn, more attracted to white women than I am to Asian women. I am a white guy. I find white women generally more attractive than other races. Not because of racial stereotypes, but because I am a normal person who happens to also have a sexual preference toward white women. Stop trying to make it out that it's racist to have racial preferences. It's not.
vargonian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, this is your own bias speaking. Sure, it might happen, but it's bullshit to assume that that's the motive behind someone's preferences. It's no different from preferring one pizza topping to another. Nobody should be made to feel guilty for their aesthetic preferences.
oo5050100 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The question of whether this is true or not aside, honestly...so what? Literally the only solution here would be for someone to date a race they are not attracted to (or if not race, then another kinda preference like weight, height, hair/eye color, ethnic background etc) to consciously get away from their biases. But that's damaging to both parties!!! Dating someone you are not attracted to hurts you in that, well, you aren't attracted to the other person and you're forcing yourself to do something that you should derive pleasure from naturally, and the other person too because they are falsely lead to believe that you ARE in fact, attracted to them, while you are only using them as an accessory to prove to yourself you can go against your biases. It's objectification too. You can say you should give dating people you are not attracted to a try, because you can learn to love them etc, but it's still using the other person. Would you want somebody to date you when they do not feel an attraction to you? Would you want to be someone's little project in forced sexual preference change? And of course, what if it ends up that one person just does not become attracted after all? That's a waste of time and energy for both parties getting into a relationship doomed from the start.
Another point, I'd say, is that your sexual preference goes beyond the tolerance you should show to everyone - nobody has an inherent right to even "get a chance" with you. A gay man has a right to date other men, which is absolutely fine, and also a right to refuse to date women - and that's great too! In this instance, yeah, you could say he is "discriminating" women, because he is not attracted to them, but it's cool because dating goes far, far beyond normal common courtesy we'd expect him to show a woman. But you could tell a gay guy, "oh but women are great! sleep with or date one, your life will change, your preferences are just wrong right now because you're sexist, but try it and you'll love it!" ...but you see how stupid that sounds. And I think it sounds equally bad to say (for example) "oh but ____ women are great! sleep with or date one, your life will change, your preferences are just wrong right now because you're racist, but try it and you'll love it". "Nice guys" get a lot of bad rep because they're trying to elicit sex out of unwanting people based on pity like "i'm such a good friend to you!", it's just as bad to try elicit sex out of unwanting people because "you don't wanna be racist now do you?"
Obviously making a big deal in conversation etc. out of own's preference, even rejecting other people and stating it's directly because of their race, is just rude and in bad taste, but if someone keeps these preferences to themselves, what's wrong with it?
whitest_man_on_earth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I'm dating a 6' black girl
empgdca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but the reason people hate this is because of the double standard that some girls have whereby they can be any weight they want and they're beautiful and anyone who disagrees is just being a shallow asshole, whereas they are allowed not to find someone attractive due to their height. If someone didn't want to date short guys, most guys would be ok with it as long as they didn't hold the previously mentioned double standard.
HubbaMaBubba ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:40:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a tall guy I agreee...
boredatworkinSK ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:26:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't do tinder but from what I hear from my friends who do apparently this shit is on a lot of girls' profiles. That's some shallow shit.
-Embittered short man
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:29:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
The_Last_Nephilim ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:42:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I dated a girl like that in college. She was all of 5' 3'' and was adamant about never going out with someone under 6'. Jokes on her though, I'm 5' 11 3/4''.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
The_Last_Nephilim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha it's not so bad. You're still taller than most men (unless you live in the Netherlands), and everyone assumes your over 6' anyway. People are really bad at estimating height. Unless you're trying to get to the NBA, your height is fine.
Kallehoe ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:45:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet it shows, about a inch difference.
Crazc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
;_;
imperabo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you kidding? 6' is almost 3% taller than 5'10". That's basically a whole extra person.
quadrophenicWHO ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:12:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who's 5' 11 3/4" this really makes me nervous.
TheFuckNameYouWant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:44:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bro, we're 6'. Stop it. 6'. Only once someone has broken through our wall and gotten to really know who we are, how we are, and really cares about us for who we are - only then can they ever know that we are 5'11 3/4". Never before.
Think about it - they'll never really know. You're surely almost always wearing shoes when you're out and about, unless you're at the beach or something. And if you're at the beach, well, sand is easy enough to move around in so you can't get an accurate reading on your height.
6'.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:14:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well good dating spiders are hard to come by.
jinxjar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Just don't date them either.)
The_Real_BenFranklin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:20:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, women are allowed to have preferences. I won't date a fat chick. Doesn't make me a terrible person, but I know what I'm looking for in a girl.
Aldo_The_Apache_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:22:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Continues to be 360 pounds and blames genetics
augizzz999 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:17:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what a midget would say. ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
TheDonutKingdom ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:14:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it, what's so bad about this? If someone is under 6 ft, you can't control it, I understand, but if someone doesn't want to date you because of that, it's personal preference. I know this is a shitty example, but it's like not wanting to date someone with a fucked up nose, sure in lots of cases they can't control it, but that doesn't mean you have to look past it and date him anyways. If you don't like his nose, fine.
LRedditor15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that the reason why most people find it annoying is because if a man said something like "I won't date any one over __ lbs" it would be seen as "sexist" and just rude whereas it's acceptable for women to do it to a man for their height- even though he can't control what his height is.
wing-attack-plan-r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think there is anything wrong with it, everyone is allowed to have their preferences, nobody "owes" anybody a date, or a chance.
The issue is that there is usually a double standard - girl sees no problem asking me my height to see if I quality, but if I ask her weight, or her cup size, I'm an asshole.
jlstitt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the problem here is that the vast majority of women (seemingly) want taller than average guys. It's a bit like everyone thinking they're smarter than average.
Hawt_Dawg_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never understood this prerequisite that people have no control over
Usually_lurks12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meta
Nukethepandas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't date anyone under 6in"
Zackeezy116 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's good, I don't like being under feet either.
thepigion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not too bad, its sexual prefence, its like how i dont date black chicks
magicsparkles12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a very short (5'1 ish) lady, I will never understand why that's such an important determining factor for some people. That exact number, too. No matter what the girls height is. I'll take someone who can't step on me, please.
Aint_no_joke_like ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then a guy will say "I won't date anyone without a big butt or big boobs." It's hell on earth... Not that I condone either of the two, just another double standard.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:34:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
imageWS ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend is an exception; she has a great personality (bar the homophoby), and has supermodel body, and is 6 ft tall. She also refuses to date anyone who is even a cm under 6 ft.
Riddles_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:21:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 6'2 and I like being able to talk face to face with my partner. Crouching slightly or looking down is weird and generally uncomfortable. So yes, I typically don't date people under 6ft.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:44:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, as a 5'7" manlet, people are entitled to their preferences.
alazaay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't date anyone under 6ft." Said the girl weighing 250 lbs.
TheFuckNameYouWant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't date anyone over 125lbs"
ThatIsMyHat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would anyone want to date a corpse?
Twizler73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My basic bitch detector just broke and I need to buy a new one. Thanks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Great, I won't date someone over 90kgs"
Nixnilnihil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the shrimp.
aedansblade36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The correct response would be "I don't date someone who weighs more than me."
ace_urban ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For the record, I think a lot of short girls say this because they want taller offspring. Many people feel that their height (or lack thereof) is a hindrance in life.
I'm not advocating. Just adding to the discussion.
Lemerney2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
maybe she means she wont date anyone dead?
ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
empgdca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't date anyone over 70kg"
And this is generally considered worse, even though weight is controllable and height isn't.
Saeta44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, no dead people. Got it!
Dev-Lyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Their loss.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
6' is kinda tall, that's a high standard
mrbaryonyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I know girls like big guys, but that just sounds painful.
GreenForkWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking as a 6-foot-tall guy, from my everyday observations, that really weeds out a lot of potential dates.
Throwawaymyheart01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the short guy.
I'm just kidding dude. Do your thing and you'll find the right person for you. Fuck those people, anyone who says that to you is not someone you want to be with anyway. It's not wrong for someone to know what they want in a partner, if height is their thing then that's their thing, but they don't need to be so bitchy about it.
Pooch_canoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Under 6 feet? Why would they allow those 3 people to step on them?
jyb5394 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Height doesn't matter when we are on a bed.
Magyars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Want to get a pineapple pizza?
Feezed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm over 6ft tall and I won't talk to a girl if she says things like this. I like to say things back that are specific to them.
DulceyDooner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:12 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn those monsters. I have two feet like a normal person.
anaphoricalsynthesis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's that I won't date anyone under 6ft, it's that it's gonna be a (probably deciding) factor in my choosing whether or not I have kids with you. I'm ridiculously short, my whole family is short, it sucks. I want my kids to be eligible to be astronauts.
downhillcarver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 5'11", I got dumped by a girl after 2 months because she's 6ft.
Alright hon.
If someone is shallow enough to use height as a deciding factor for their significant other, I don't want to be in a relationship with them.
mouseknuckle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I won't date anyone 6 ft. under
Redbulldildo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Preferences are preferences.
Warpato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No fat chicks.
gereffi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:31:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, only men are allowed to be shallow.
erilol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:03:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't date a flat-chested bitch."
"Tall chicks are gross. I don't wanna feel like I'm dating a dude."
Ktulu300 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:11:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with this one?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:16:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All the guys on reddit that cry constantly about the small minority of women on Tinder who demand a man over 6' seem to be forgetting that they're using Tinder in the first place. You shouldn't expect high quality women from an iphone dating app that's mostly used for people to hook up.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree that picking an arbitrary height as a steadfast requirement is stupid. However, I find tallness really very very attractive in a guy. Like some girls swoon over stubble or blue eyes. I like tall and lanky. And because I'm 5'10", tall means at least 5'11". But my preference has nothing to do with gender norms or image. If I loved a guy that was shorter than me, I would date him, obviously. It's just a big component of attraction for me because that's how I'm wired.
deHavillandDash8Q400 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does having certain standards or traits you find attractive make a person bad? You don't have to be on every woman's radar. It doesn't bother me any.
JamesAlonso ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:38:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the shorty
[deleted] ยท 2415 points ยท Posted at 15:03:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
theblondereaper ยท 1206 points ยท Posted at 16:07:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
War on, Christianity.
coltsfanca ยท 1057 points ยท Posted at 17:00:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"War on"
-Christianity
Opechan ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 17:19:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, raw."
-Christianity
Liniis ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:47:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ran, ow."
-Christian Ity
sherre02 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:51:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"In history, I can't war."
-
check it if you must
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a dirty mind now
Gabodrx ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:53:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-Michael Scott
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:07:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Car!
car drives by
War on!
Kalkaline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only 90s kids will get this.
Maelstrom52 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:56:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, Wayne......Hi....." {CRASH}
boot2skull ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:52:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
War on. Apply directly to the forehead. War on. Apply directly to the forehead.
Leadfooted_mnky ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:49:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the new Fantastic 4 movie really took liberties with the whole human torch thing
iamaneviltaco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone else gonna tell him that he was actually watching game of thrones?
HungaryMoose ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:59:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SuperAlbertN7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:51:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Christianity's response to the crusades.
Tiborsvk23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:47:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HE HEH, WAR ON
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:08:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Flame on"
-Johnny Storm
insultant_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"War on, Garth"
JayofLegend ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:41:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"War", on Christianity. The Christianity Channel
sbroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shits about to go down
hotbrokemess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
History in a quote
badgersprite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
War, on Christianity.
Professor War has really great, well thought out opinions. Highly recommend the book.
DakMan3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
War (on Christianity)
TrevTape1990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stop laughing every time I see this.
D33P_Cyphor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dead on...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"War" on Christianity.
Kazzack ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:04:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
War on, Garth
Anathema_Redditus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Time to get my sword and shield, we're gonna crusade again!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Party on, Dude!
vonshavingcream ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
War! ... On Christianity.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing
analogjesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:02:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
War on, apply directly to the warhead
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
War on, gareth
White_blurr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
War on, Garth.
NDaveT ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 19:20:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll accept this one, provided the speaker is Spanish and it's the 8th Century.
yuhutuh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or a Wallachian soldier in the 15th century.
i_ANAL ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:59:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair large chunks of the Middle East were secular in the middle ages; it was the warring Christian Europeans that brought the Crusaders to massacre Muslims.
whistletits ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 16:28:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sentence containing the "The war on" without ending in a country or geographic region is an untrue sentence.
Rmanager ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 16:52:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It has become as trite as putting "gate" at the end of anything even remotely controversial.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:35:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically Watergate wasn't about water. The hotel was called Watergate.
Rmanager ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:07:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically, the "Watergate Scandal" had almost nothing to do with the Watergate Hotel.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well, that's kinda where the break-in occured.
Rmanager ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:03:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't "kinda." It is. The "Watergate Scandal" was Nixon used the power of his office to prevent an investigation by law enforcement.
FuzzyLoveRabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So... it really has a lot to do with the scandal, no?
Rmanager ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. It has some to do with it which is why I said "almost nothing." The break in to bug the Democratic office was the event that started a chain.
It is highly unlikely Nixon had any knowledge of what the inner circle of CREP was up to. All he had to do was let them face charges. That was pretty much it. If Nixon would have publically denounced them as "rogues" and overzealous in trying to get him re-elected, we would be talking about what a great president he was and the Watergate break-in as just a footnote to his presidency.
But he didn't. He was paranoid the connection would hurt his campaign and how questionable some of their activities really were. Much of what they did is common practice today but back then, people actually gave a shit about the integrity of the President. So he ordered the FBI to shut down their investigation. That started a chain of events that uncovered how much Nixon used the power of the office to do shit for his own bidding.
That is "The Watergate Scandal." The break-in is just a side bar and catchy name.
SecretiveNarwhals ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes like watergategate. I mean come on people that just sounds weird.
nerdofblazingfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But plebgate happened in front of a gate
Mozzius ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:18:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about the war on emus?
thirdegree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The war on abstract concepts!
Pizzaguy155 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about drugs?
imperabo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:01:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a war on metaphors in this thread.
Salad_Donkey ยท 437 points ยท Posted at 16:25:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I overhead a conversation the other day about how "It's the beginning of the Christian holocaust." It made my blood boil.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 21:05:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They want it to be. One of the 'signs' of Christ's return and the rapture is people oppressing Christians. They see it as a good thing that they're oppressed, so they can't wait to call it out. As a former Churchgoer, this was the obsession among my fellow Christians. They couldn't wait to call out The End Times Signs. They said it almost gleefully.
A lot of Christians get off on being persecuted. It just reinforces their 'I'm Right' feeling.
I know this because I used to be like that until I grew a brain.
TheSnake42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:06:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the people you hung out with thought this way, but no rational christian is hoping for the end of times. This is a poor representation of Christianity and the "I'm Right" feeling you speak of is basic human nature. Don't you think you are "right" spouting this ignorance?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:13:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not even the people I hung around with. It's on the mind of all the preachers on tv that talk about the end times. In their voices. True christians don't want it to happen. But the psychopathic types who use religion as an ego boost, as a means of propagating cruelty or social standing, they just can't wait to see all the people they despise burning forever.
TheSnake42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Again, no rational christian is hoping for the end of times; I dont think you have refuted my point in anyway. The preachers you see on tv advocating for the end of the times are clearly misguided. Read some books and stay away from preachers on tv if you want to make blanket statements about Christianity.
Taddare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing there is a veritable mountain of irrational christians in America hoping. Much like this special guy:
JustAnotherLemonTree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons love claiming to be 'persecuted.' I was raised Mormon and was taught that people who hated the Mormon church did so because "they secretly know the LDS church is true and don't want to admit it." WTF.
[deleted] ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 16:59:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
squeaky4all ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:32:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And somehow the same-sex marriage issue is the beginning of it in america.
YaMeenz ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:44:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw someone on twitter saying that same-sex marriage being legalized meant "Liberals are taking away are religious freedoms!" So now I don't use Twitter.
just_redditing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez, give twitter a break, there are plenty of people I disagree with on reddit...
SmolderingDesigns ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:24:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not even kidding, a very popular "pastor" on Facebook said that gay marriage becoming legal is the beginning of the Christian holocaust. Makes my blood boil.
JoJolion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That stupid shit, Josh Fuckstain? He's such a fucking joke. The fact he's as popular as he is really depresses me every single time I think about it.
SmolderingDesigns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, that's the guy. Even his name makes me unnaturally angry.
Salad_Donkey ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:04:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, they were talking about the recent church shooting. I didn't hear the rest of the conversation though. You could be right.
GreeneMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not.
mxmr47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin history is a circle when should be a spiral.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:42:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did it make you want to round up all of their kind and start gassing them?
Dr-Teemo-PhD ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:45:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When the legalization of gay marriage happened, John Piper called it a calamity. I'm not sure if it was him but another Christian pastor said he weeps in great sorrow for the nation. I heard some Christians talking about how it's the beginning of the great oppression of Christians...
philly_fan_in_chi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pastor in (I wanna say) Florida compared Planned Parenthood to ISIS the other day.
Bladelink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:20:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure "Christian Holocaust" is the exact opposite of what they're imagining.
DarkNeo1990 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:14:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have anger issues m8.
Salad_Donkey ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:20:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually a pretty laid back guy, but I live in Kentucky. I hear some really dumb shit sometimes.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:51:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, buddy. I heard about a month ago while fishing with a coworker "you know who the two most discriminated against groups in this country are? Christians and white males."
He was not kidding.
Overmind_Slab ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:56:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That must have been an awkward fishing trip.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Kentucky, no. You hear shit like that all the time.
Mrhores_cat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:26:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Must be hot there too. I mean, your blood did boil.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:20:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kenny__Loggins ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:52:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand why you're being downvoted. Who on reddit actually would have a problem with this very reasonable statement?
Viatos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:03:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueChristian
https://www.reddit.com/r/ReformedBaptist
A lot quieter, mind you, since /u/LouIcthys deleted his account, but Reddit honestly has every imaginable contingent, and they browse the front page just like anyone else.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are they just happy religious people or crazies?
Viatos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yes.
EDIT: Sometimes they just want to talk about happy, positive things in their lives. Sometimes it's about the tragic downfall of the conversion therapy market. Once, it was about how /r/Christianity had become a sewer of toxic faith when a user was banned for telling a suicidal gay teen that they had no cause to ask for Christian support and needed "a slap upside the head" more than anything.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So basically your run of the mill fundies. That's always fun.
newloaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that from some new microwave-emitting weapon, and are you Christian?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I probably would have just started laughing, and then called them a dumb ass. Or I would've reacted as you did, it'd depend on my mood.
Jumpin_Jack_Flash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think the Jews were quietly and non-violently made irrelevant...
diamond_in_therough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All my parents and grandparents spend countless hours blabbering about is the end times and the "war on Christianity". Or "getting prayer back in schools"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then don't keep them locked up in your basement
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sister had a post on her Facebook of some fat "cool" preacher doing a selfie'd video of him ranting in his car about how the marriage equality bill was the start of the Christian Holocaust. I was the only one to comment on it:
"Christian holocaust, lol"
carrioncassette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They want The Book of Revelations to happen so bad.
orbitstarr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me guess, said by someone who wasn't effected (or so they think) by the Holocaust? That's disgusting.
Yak-a-saurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The context on what they where speaking of is important. There have been many instances of mass killings of christians throughout history. If they mean whats happening in the states right now, they are silly
Salad_Donkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was the context. Silly is a really nice word for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious considering the Roman-Jewish war was one of the bloodiest events ever. Tons of Christians were murdered for nothing. I'm not sure people even understand how good they have it now.
ladyroxannaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you are a Christian, you have historically had it the fucking easiest. So calm you r people need to calm their shit.
black_spring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Members of majority identities tend to adopt a victim's mentality once they acknowledge that their race, culture, religion, etc. is losing a historic vice-grip over control and standardization of society. Gay folks are also married = my straight marriage is under attack. All holidays can be acknowledged in public settings = you're stealing Christmas. These people, ironically, often have the least sympathy for folks that are actually oppressed and victimized by societal challenges. "I don't care that they've grown up below the poverty line in a crime-ridden hell hole and still managed to receive great grades with hopes of changing themselves and their community; affirmative action is reverse-racism."
MikoRiko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, really makes ya wanna go out and shoot some Christs.
Benramin567 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:47:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? There is essentially a holocaust on christians/gays/and other non-muslim groups in the middle east.
lynnyfer ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 16:23:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But stores can't even say Merry Christmas anymore!"
Manadox ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 21:27:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because it's the middle of August grandma.
lynnyfer ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:57:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True story, used to work at a craft store, and we'd get Christmas stuff in mid-August. Some woman came through my aisle the first week that shit was in stock and bought a carts worth of tacky Christmas decor. As she left, I said "have a good weekend!" She turned around to me and went, with all the disgust she could muster, "I think you mean MERRY CHRISTMAS, sweetheart".
UndeadBread ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:47:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kinda thought she was going to be one of those people who bitch and moan about stores selling Christmas stuff early. Because it somehow impacts their life that people are allowed to prepare for Christmas early and that stores want to sell that crap for as long as possible instead of only having it out during December.
LoganBerryz ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:10:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And it's almost always over some mundane reason like someone saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" (because god forbid we recognize the person we're speaking to may not celebrate the same things we do) or people typing Xmas instead of Christmas.
Eat-Vittles-And-Nosh ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:25:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Typing X-mas isn't even non-Christian, the X stands for Chi in Greek, meaning Christ.
euchaote2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:54:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's still bloody ugly, I think.
It's not a matter of religion or of "taking the Christ out of Christmas": say Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Saturnalia/Festivus/Dies Natalis Solis Invicti/Whatever, I'm really not bothered, but "Xmas" looks really really tacky to me.
AdzyBoy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:24:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Abbreviations aren't meant to be pretty, just short.
what__ever ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, but most of the time, the word "Christmas" doesn't need to be abbreviated. Putting "Xmas" on a small sign for a place that sells Christmas trees is understandable, given the limited sign space, but it looks stupid anywhere the writing space is not heavily limited.
bouffanthairdo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude - it ain't ugly. Jewish people write X instead of God because it's apparently blasphemous to write God's name.
euchaote2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Um, the Jews don't believe that Jesus (or any future Messiah=Christ) is God to begin with. So why should they write X instead of 'Christ'?
If anything, I think that it comes from the ancient Christian use of the letter Chi (or of the two letters Chi and Rho) as an abbreviation of ฮงฮกฮฮฃฮคฮฮฃ (Christ)...
bouffanthairdo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God, I said God.
euchaote2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but what does it have to do with the replacement of "Christ" by "X" in 'Xmas'?
I must say, I've seen "G-d" being used like that, and of course there are terms such as Adonai or HaShem to use in place of the Tetragrammaton, but I've never seen 'X' being used by Jews in that context. I may be wrong about this, however.
In any case, in the common use of 'Xmas', it does not seem to me that the 'X' is being used as a way to pay respect to Christ (or God's) name.
It's just a shortening of "Christmas", one that I find fairly ugly and more often than not unnecessary (and as I said, religion has nothing to do with that).
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:19:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the flip side people shouldn't be offended when a store clerk says "merry Christmas". It's not about forcing you to follow a religion it's just about someone offering you their blessing. Getting mad over that is like getting mad over someone saying good morning.
SmolderingDesigns ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:27:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just my anecdotal evidence, but I have never seen anyone get upset about someone saying, "Merry Christmas." Come Christmas time and my whole Facebook newsfeed is people complaining about thise who DON'T say Merry Christmas, like saying happy holidays is some kind of persecution.
Neskuaxa ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:48:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What did you just fucking say to me? I'll have a bad morning if I want! I hate people who fucking tell me how to live my life.
Master_of_the_mind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good attempt, but it's not the same. One's religion based, one's 99% common in culture.
Not that anyone should get angry for someone saying merry christmas to them, of course.
Neskuaxa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I know, I was just being overly reactive to make it sound funny, but I failed.
RancidLemons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't agree more. I'm an atheist but I fucking love Christmas time. Cheerful fucking music? Yes, please. Colorful fucking lights? Hell yeah. Candy just fucking everywhere? Sign me up. Getting to spoil the fuck out of my wife with awesome gifts? Of course. Enjoying some spoiling of my own? Don't mind if I do.
"Merry Christmas" literally means "I hope you experience great joy for, like, twelve fucking days" and anybody who has a problem with that is an idiot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Motherfucker it is got dang 12:03! It is no longer morning, you stupid imbecile! Where is your manager? I want to speak to your manaher right now, boy! Do you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME?!
jheaton6 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:39:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Credit to u/Starsy
Starsy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:45:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
<3
Master_of_the_mind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Despise people against that shit.
I'm just trying to be nice and include everyone :'(
LimesKeepOnDrippin ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:26:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My father talks about how he's accepted that one day he will be imprisoned for being a pastor. He honestly thinks Christians are being persecuted here in America by the government and all that jazz.
Neskuaxa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:49:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean it says there will be hard times for Christians, but saying it is happening now is not really constructive to anything.
LimesKeepOnDrippin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know the Bible warns of persecution, but the stuff people say is persecution isnt close to what the original church went through. I mean just because the whole nation doesn't celebrate Christmas or there is gay marriage isn't anything compared to being hunted down and tortured. Heck they want persecution so bad head over to the middle east, those Christians have the right to be worried and complain.
Neskuaxa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. However it's hard to really grasp what the middle Eastern Christians are going through, when comparatively we've got it pretty nice over here.
just_redditing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those things aren't persecution at all actually.
Whisper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Also "War on Women".
Steinhoff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'd think Saladin was building his siege engines outside their houses
dudelurkslike_a_lady ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a war on Christianity. They should feel under attack. They are constantly getting bombarded with scientific fact and reason, and are constantly on the defense. I can't blame them for feeling like their in a war. It's the only statement they make that is true.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must feel so euphoric right now.
katasian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty darn true in some places in the world...people are being kidnapped and murdered for being Christians.
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 16:28:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
blobblet ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:26:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people use the Term "War on Christianity" to refer to harmless (allbeit politically controversial) measures of secularisation in democratic states, that is an insult to those in actual suffering for their political propaganda.
However, there are people that are systematically made to suffer for their Christian faith in some countries. Whether we should call this a "War on Christianity" or not is mostly arguing phrasing; going as far as to say "you are a moron and dead to me" seems way over the line.
Personally, I don't share your sentiment that persecution of Christs should not be called a war on Christianity. While we can probably agree that "The war on X" is not exactly good phrasing since "war" suggests a generally symmetrical combat situation (two or more states fighting each other), in the end it is just imagery that sticks and raises attention to a legitimate cause.
"War on Christianity and nobody else" is, to my knowledge, not a thing anywhere in the world, but hardly any conflict has ever been as simple as two homogenous factions clubbing each other to death. Was the Holocaust not a war on Jews and Judaism because homosexuals, dissenters and socialists were targeted too? The Nazi regime was eventually striving for racial purity, they just picked out the most "obvious" victims first. While persecution of Christians has not reached the same level of the attempted systematic persecution and annihilation of Jews, it is hard to draw a line on where the "war on" attribute is appropriate.
TheChickening ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:25:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Just because the ISIS kills everyone that is not exactly like them does not mean that Christians aren't persecuted. In many muslim countries, where there is no fight between muslim denominations, christians are still persecuted and fought against.
Of course, what christians deal with in the USA is laughable compared to what they suffer in the Middle East or North Korea, but you are dismissing a very serious truth, just because Christians aren't the only target (although they are by far the most persecuted group/religion in this world).
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:53:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheChickening ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:33:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uhm. I don't even think that deserves an answer. But I will write one anyway, because I'm not even sure if you are trolling or seriously believe that.
I mean, here on reddit you sometimes read about bible-belt atheists who actually face some kind of discrimination, but that's not even close to the killing, mutilation and persecution that Christians face in many countries.
ireter294 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:14:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But people say War on Christianity is in America
JanetSnakehole24 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:25:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which makes no sense considering Christianity is the vast majority holder in the religion department. I think you're gonna be okay Christianity.
Rex_Lee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a religious person...but I am pretty sure that is EXACTLY what ISIS is doing across the middle east right now.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:42:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ISIS isn't starting a war on Christianity. They're starting a war on anyone, no matter what religion, that doesn't convert to Islam and accept sharia laws.
ThatAngryGnome ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:06:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not even that, Muslims who don't belive in their crazy, hypocritical versions are just as bad as non Muslims
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:10:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't they killing other Muslims as well?
ThatAngryGnome ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:28:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're arguably a bigger threat to Muslims (shitte and sunni) than other people really. They kill a lot of innocent civilians, blow up mosques, and destroy their history.
CumSmellsLikeBleach ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:10:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*their version of sharia law. Their extreme, disgusting version.
Rex_Lee ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 20:00:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok. I am pretty sure you just said they are starting a war on anyone who doesn't convert to islam, which by definition includes Christians....so I don't really know why you're disputing what I said.
Childish_Gamboner ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:40:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you definitely implied that ISIS is killing christians only because they are christians. Nope, they are killing literally anyone that doesn't conform to their radical islamic views. So atheists, christians, budhists, literally everyone. Your statement just reinforces the Christian persecution complex.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:06:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm saying it's not limited to Christianity as what's said in the original comment.
ktappe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ISIS is a mob using religion as a recruiting tool. They're in it for the money and the power just like any other thugs.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:35:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Callyopi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:45:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No, that's a war on everyone who isn't Sunni Muslim and doesn't follow sharia law.
Edit: sorry I wasn't explicitly specific. Point was, it's not a war on Christianity.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:48:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Neskuaxa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like killing anyone who doesn't eat salt and vinegar chips.
theaficionado ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:26:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're killing Muslims too. Unless you adhere to their specific way of interpreting the Islamic faith, they kill you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's literally the exact same thing, you equivocating dumbass. It's a war on Christianity, a war on Shia islam, etc etc.
Callyopi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:47:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are not singling out individual religions. They are killing anyone who does not believe what they believe. The only distinction they are making is "is this guy one of us? Nope. Does he want to be? Nope. Kill him" that's not a war on Christianity and to say it is is asinine.
bundlesofjoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure that's a war on everyone who's not ISIS. And even some of the people who are ISIS. So I guess Christians are included in there, but they've murdered their fair share of Muslims too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh good point, I've been noticing how Isis only Attacks Christians and is totally cool with all the atheists and non Isis Muslims out there.
hldeathmatch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well depending on where in the world you are, it can actually be a thing.
ktappe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In theory, but it's pretty rare.
hldeathmatch ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the western world yes. In Asia, Africa, and the Middle East it is not rare at all.
erilol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Way to paint a broad brush. You just named two continents and a subcontinent. Each one has entire Christian nations and populaces.
hldeathmatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was actually specifying from the huge generalization above. But obviously you aren't interested in context.
BasketeerOverHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fortunately I've never heard this, but I do hear a lot of "war on Christmas" talk.
ExcerptMusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If we know anything about declaring war on something, it's that you're going have more of it when you're done spending money fighting it.
aredditgroupthinker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only the Muslims do that.
Torvaun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's only valid in Middle Eastern theocracies.
Zoura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite in addition to this is people claiming that kids can't pray in schools. There's no law against it. You just can't have school organized/teacher lead prayer. But kids can pray if they want.
_Peanut_Buddha_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a.k.a: other people getting rights is taking my rights away obviously.
vainamo- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, like... what if part of the war on Christianity is people online saying it doesn't exist? whoa.
Omegaprimus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There really is a war on Christianity, it is being raged by self righteous right wing nut jobs that go against everything Christian about Christianity. Feeding the poor, they are against that, giving shelter to the homeless, to hell with that. Turning the other cheek if someone is against you? Hell, no go to war with them. The people that use the phrase "war on Christianity" are the enemies of Christianity.
aakksshhaayy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Kevin O'Leary?
Metatron58 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ISIS isn't the only ones killing people for being Christian
That required the bare minimum of effort of google searching. I'm sure if we dug deeper we'd find more. It's cool though keep believing the world is fucked because your parents made you go to church.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh no! The Other is becoming a minor threat to my complete monopoly on Western culture! WE ARE DOOMED!"
-- victims of the war on Christianity (RIP)
greenseaglitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, your pantheist ass would be way more dead than a Christian in ISIS. Even ISIS does not dispute the fact that the prophet Muhammad wrote an letter declaring that people "of the book" (Christians and Jews) must be protected and have the right to worship, so ISIS declared early on that Christians have the option to leave, or stay in ISIS and pay a tax. How closely they're carrying out this promise is under dispute, but I've definitely never heard of those options for atheists or polytheists coming from ISIS.
Honky_Cat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you won't mind if a dead guy says "Fuck You!"
Master_of_the_mind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They think this because Christian values are fading in America (big thing being that gay marriage was legalized). Rather silly, considering 70%'s still christian.
A_campbell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not trying to get into a fight, I'm honestly just curious, wouldn't that mean you could claim the Holocaust (just an example) couldn't be classified as a war on Judaism since the nazis didn't kill them cause they were Jews, but rather because they weren't Christians? Gypsies and socialists were targeted as well.
I don't agree or disagree with you. Just wondering.
belugabreezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Looking at you, Joshua Feuerstein.
BitcoinBanker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sora825 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never heard this, but it sounds like it is supposed to refer to those aggressive atheists who hate all religion, but specifically hate Christianity.
Or the fact that people are all for religious equality & stuff, but really they just mean religious equality except Christianity because it's already so widespread.
limpack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey fellow pantheist!
Ryanmjesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That made me chuckle. Thank you.
KimoCroyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heya, fellow pantheist :)
pantheism would never wage war on anything, because we love you.
Satans__Secretary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They really think their religion is "warred against"... how cute. I can imagine something like...
Christian: "I'm a christian!"
Me: "Okay um... good for you?"
Christian: "STOP OPPRESSING ME!"
Me: "I'm a Satanist."
Same christian: "OMG U SACRIFICE THINGS AND WORSHIP DARKNESS EVIL PERSON! IM GOING TO KILL U CUZ GOD SAID SO!"
Me: ...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"oh but ISIS isnt killing people for being christian lol"
Yes they fucking are. Stop fucking equivocating and go stuff your edgy fedora up your ass. That's like saying Jews weren't killed for being Jews, they were just killed for being non-German!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:19:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yes they were. Check out what they did in Poland, the USSR, the Balkans, and so on. Your edgy equivocation is only confirming that you fucking fedoras have absolutely no sense of right and wrong. Go whine about how oppressed you are and how Christians totally aren't on /r/atheism, you dumbass neckbeard, I don't give a fuck.
CaliphBigdaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, fundie, don't you know that atheists are literally oppressed? I mean nothing says oppression quite like being a straight cis white well-educated upper class male liberal living in first world suburban America...
RedHotDornishPeppers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the Anti-
ChristCrusade!Manbagss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
War never changes
Glennus626 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read both versions of the Quran. A good Sunni Muslim kills kafirs (anyone not Muslim) during jihad.
I do think ISIS was our (USA) creation as an excuse to take out Assad, but that's another story.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Glennus626 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did I say it was successful in taking out Assad or that anything fruitful came from them, other than the same tired dialogue of keeping us in the middle east for the foreseeable future?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Glennus626 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From direct or indirect involvement (read: incompetence), ISIS is riding around in AT LEAST 2300 American humvees from when Mosul fell. A billion dollars worth of equipment, not counting gear from when Iraqi "soldiers" shed their uniforms, tucked tail and ran.
Not that bad, though, considering we sold about 4 billion dollars worth of helicopters, missiles and ordinance to saudi arabia and Israel, you know, to combat the threat.
If you really think the middle east isn't one big money generating machine for a military industrial complex, YOU are a delusional knuckle-dragger.
nate800 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's more that people (like you I'm sure) outright deny that Christians are persecuted in our world. Maybe not on our shores, but it happens. For some reason, it gets swept under the rug. Being Christian is like being white. We cannot possibly be persecuted because we are the majority. Are you aware that 16 Christians had their throats slit by Boko Haram just a couple weeks ago? 16 humans, killed because of their religion by another religious group that for some reason gets the PC pass. If you seriously believe it's not a thing, you are a moron.
Awfy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:23:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go then:
That's by the governments of those countries, not some extremist group like Boko Haram. You think non-Christians fair any better against groups like Boko Haram?
You can claim persecution all you want but the vast majority of your examples are persecution against anyone who doesn't fall into the persecutor's demographic, it's not targeted at Christians. That's why it pisses a lot of people off, it's ignorance on the behalf of the Christians who claim they are persecuted.
PixlProphet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:02:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need a lesson in history and logic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PixlProphet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:13:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you need to sue your university.
Lemmiwinks99 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:20:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Um, they specifically target christians, so you're not correct.
Sen7ineL ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:09:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sooo - Jihad?
epringle365 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:48:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Swag".
Satans__Secretary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:20:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Even if used "ironically". Just... no. Shut up.
VAPossum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bling."
[deleted] ยท 596 points ยท Posted at 14:47:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
insomnia_accountant ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 15:22:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but I really don't like waffles.
frugalNOTcheap ยท 142 points ยท Posted at 15:27:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Waffles is a derogatory term for white people with crimped hair
potatohats ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:56:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
#crimpedhairsmatter
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:37:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess there are two definitions for waffle stomping now, then.
Abe_Leonard ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:01:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A waffle is a fucking waffle. What's with all these labels?
Mocha2007 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:27:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Label is a derogatory term for a categorization.
Fumblerful ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:16:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Category is a derogatory term for labels.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Infinite loop reached; political correctness machine shutting down.
warpenguin55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ill bet it is
Mred12 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:25:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is waffles some hip new racist slang? Kids these days...
AllThatJazz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it's part of the anti-Belgium movement.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:55:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Belgian and I'm offended.
wENTtobuyweed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh thanks, I thought you were racist for a second.
Csantana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like how it almost makes the sentence racist and we have to figure out why it's racist.
"hhhmm is it something about Belgium ?"
PigNamedBenis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So long as that waffle isn't blue.
ShrimpMage ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:04:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holds up spork
juiceboxheero ยท 185 points ยท Posted at 15:06:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not x but..."
[deleted] ยท 396 points ยท Posted at 15:26:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...I am magneto.
Irememberedmypw ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:09:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you are racist !
InfinitelyAbysmal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honest question.. Can magneto kill wolverine? After the admantium infusion.
Pure-Pessimism ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:15:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://youtu.be/mhko3m7D6UA
This should answer that question.
InfinitelyAbysmal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lmfao. You're right, that does answer my question. Now I'm going to have to call my middle fingers my wolverine claws.
lucy_inthessky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am Spiderman.
kyle8998 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:27:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course, who could be an X?
souIIess ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:50:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Malcolm would.
TheParagon_MarvelUni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, he's in the middle
TasbirM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Malcolm would be in the middle
Allisade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But he's stuck in the middle.
_EqualAndOpposite_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:59:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, I'm pretty cross.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Theon
hookahshikari ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dad? Is that you? I've been waiting for you to come home for 18 years!
KHDTX13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
....I am Zero
AlekRivard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a carrot, but Bugs Bunny is a cunt.
aeyuth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't take this the wrong way, [...]"
watermasta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I solve for you?
Moezso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandad once told me, "Anything said before a 'but' doesn't mean shit.".
AnMatamaiticeoirRua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am gon' give it to ya.
wlee1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a legend.
iaintsuspicious ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:24:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but Asian people hhhaaannkh
biesterd1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:23:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah there it is.
cdude ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:36:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's true, as an asian we do. It originathhhaaannkh!!!
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 15:24:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also the overt use of "your people" and "your country" while talking to someone with a different race/culture.
rockidol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just use 'you people' when talking to a group, kind of like y'all.
dmkicksballs13 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:06:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone said it. I can't remeber.
"I'm not racist but I love hamburgers."
"That's not racist."
"I know, I said I wasn't racist."
FlashpointJ24 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:15:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was Demetri Martin:
Sometimes, when I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like 'I'm not racist, but...'
For example:
"I'm not racist, but you look great today."
"That wasn't racist at all."
"I know, I said I'm not racist! You never listen! Typical Mexican."
BALD-GUY-90-AMA ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:23:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Followed up by extremely racist comment
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:28:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but some people are.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "SOME PEOPLE"!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean?
Uncle_Skeeter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but force equals mass times acceleration.
Domideus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:23:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but I enjoy eating ice cream.
Ae3qe27u ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, and I want a taco.
Ghost3741 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*couuuuuuuuuuuu
Ranzjuergen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and his disformed little brother "So I am a racist now, just because I think every other race is inferior and should be deported?" I modded a political forum on a german facebook clone for 4 years and got this shit and similar bs almost daily.
mattyparanoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here, searched for this comment. Done.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but I vilimently despise african americans" Oh, ok. So, you're not a racist?
Byzantine_Guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but elephants are extremely intelligent.
sirbadges ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but, I think non Nintendo characters should stay out of Mario Kart.
CrashRiot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but...(insert group name followed by fucked up conversation)." Bill burr, if anyone's interested.
0whodidyousay0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just go with "I am a racist, and here's how I'll prove it..."
ZazMan117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not homophobic but...
But I really enjoy The Office.
notthecolorblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone has to start out a sentence with "I'm not racist, but..." That sentence just should not be said. The "I'm not racist" does nothing to make the statement not racist.
Dreadsin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if it's followed by something that has nothing to do with race? "I'm not racist but this lemonade is lovely"
LDR23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could up vote this more than once, I cannot agree more with you on this one!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You love black people?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most all things in that format really.
"I don't hate gay people, but ..." "I think you're a cool guy, but ..." "I'd love to suck your dick, but ..."
All either end in veiled insults or disappointment.
Evilsqirrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't exactly say these phrases, but I have a very satirical sense of humor and to passers by, I can look like I'm just being a racist asshole. I avoid saying "I'm not racist, but..." because I'm secure enough in my beliefs that I don't have to reassure myself by prefacing it with a phrase like that.
All my friends get it. Anyone who talks to me in any light gets it. They may not always agree with me, but I respect it. That said, fuck people that have to preface everything with something that confirms their beliefs.
if there's one thing that I do notice about myself that truly can be qualified as racist, it's that the moment I hear a Haitian accent, I automatically assume that I need to double check their work and make sure they didn't half-ass it. I hate that I make that conclusion and I try to put it out of my mind, but it seems that there's always something forgotten or something looked over. It's probably confirmation bias, but it's an idea and will take time to break.
iongantas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...chimichangas are delicious!"
PurpleChyGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally all of reddit
Avogadro101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
....I like my coffee like I like my slaves.
Free! You racist.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but Michael Brown's death was funny
Clop88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must be black
doesntshoweroften ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ancient pebble BWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHYYY!!!!
just_comments ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but my roommate is and it makes it hard to live with him.
MaTrIx4057 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but i love racist JOKES because they are just JOKES and nothing more than that. Same with gay, religion jokes etc. They are funny and piss many people off. Doesn't mean i hate these people. I just love to laugh at funny jokes. There are people who joke about me and other surrounding people, that doesn't mean we hate each other. The same logic is applied but many people think if you make a joke about other race then you are automatically racist which is false and just shows how dumb these people are if they think that.
blakethecat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a guilty mother I..."
SamsungGalaxyGreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, this phrase appears a lot lately around new Mafia III trailers, and I feel like sometimes it is used somewhat legitimately.
For those who don't know the series, Mafia series was about being an Italian gangster in Italian mafia, main character being sharp-looking Italian was basically identification sign of the games, and devs decided to make main character a black American. Incredible ammount of people are disappointed, but not because they're hateful towards black people, but because it just doesn't feel like a Mafia game anymore.
cross-eye-bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my my, what an interesting white boy battle of stereotype loyalty.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:02:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but I really hate Africa.
Worst song ever performed by Toto.
Callyopi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear the drums echoing tonight
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you, it's their best song.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 15:27:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bricka_Bracka ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 15:57:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm fine with black people. It's black americans I can't stand.
I'm raci-nationalist!
EDIT: can't make a racial joke around here, eh?
CaLaHa717 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yay more generalizations
Bricka_Bracka ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:10:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I hate most americans. I am american.
I am an equal opportunity hater. If we chat some more I bet I'll eventually hate you too.
Can we exchange hate, so we can hate all the more later?
Hate ya later!
GeneralJabroni ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:48:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I love hearing anything that comes after that because it's usually something racist and funny.
purpurrido ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 15:51:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
things like "I speak my mind" or just really strong stubborn opinions in general. It's great to have an opinion, but I like to leave room for uncertainty. As king of the hill, "Why do you hate what you don't understand?" It's like they're superior to you just for having a really strong dislike for something. A strong like on the other hand is cool and passionate!
mkomaha ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:47:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who use "excuse" as a derogatory term.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're a sorry excuse for an X" or "That's just an EXCUSE." or "EXCUSE me, Princess."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand. I completely agree. You don't want to use the word "excuse" like that unless you want people to think you're a bitch/dick.
mkomaha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Example would be "whats your excuse this time?" or "stop giving me excuses". Excuses are reasons why. They aren't derogatory. People who think this way aren't good people.
OctopusTherapy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:14:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a (insert zodiac sign), so that probably tells you all you need to know about me!"
foot_kisser ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:12:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, though, it probably does tell you all you need to know about them.
Satans__Secretary ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, tells me that they know nothing about astrology thus are ignorant.
warpenguin55 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
same. wtf why should i know or care about your sign
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's true. It tells you they are an idiot. That's all you need to know
nolo_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It does indeed. Now, let me tell you about this problem I have getting my inheritance out of Nigeria...
Rvalldrgg ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:55:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Am I being detained?'
riricalnus ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:17:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so weird ha ha! And I'm crazy!
No, you're not. The class just asked to introduce yourself. You're stereotypical, only that you belong to a different stereotype.
desirad8 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:34:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or chicks who say they're nerds or geeks. Nope you're a dumb girl trying to get attention
BipedSnowman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait why can't girls be nerds or geeks?
green_eyed_lobster ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 22:31:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Female(s)" as in "I am talking to this one female," or "those females over there are hot." Just say women, you creeper.
I also hate the terms "baby mama" or baby daddy." They both sound really trashy.
The_Canadian ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:24:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've usually only seen this used in relation to people who would be described as trashy.
Wawoowoo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:35:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This, but the opposite. Woman is a noun. People try to dance around this by saying things like "a woman scientist and a male scientist" when everyone knows it's patronizing bullshit.
Epistaxis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:53:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Contrary to public opinion, I don't think "females" is actually a product of sexism: it's about age. People under 30 still aren't comfortable calling each other "men" and "women", but they can fall back on "guys" as a generic term with no connotations, while the language simply lacks an equivalent casualism for the other sex.
But it still makes you sounds like a Ferengi, or a zoologist.
JustAnotherLemonTree ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:01:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since I live in the West, I generally use "gals" when referring to multiple women under 25-ish or "folks" for mixed-gender groups.
Epistaxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My father once had a formal complaint filed against him for using "gals" to refer to a group of administrative assistants at his office. They were mostly African American and apparently they considered it a racial slur.
JustAnotherLemonTree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A racial slur? :/ That's news to me.
Epistaxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what he said too, but he certainly never used the word again.
macalania ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would argue that "ladies" is about the female equivalent of "guys." Still sounds a little bit creepy but not as bad as "females."
MycTyson ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in the military, women were generally referred to as females.
Epistaxis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:39:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did they also call men "males"?
I know it's also standard workplace vocabulary for police, and they're consistent between the genders too.
foot_kisser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:58:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How could you have a problem with "females"?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:51:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:02:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"female
หfiหmeษชl/
adjective
1.
of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) which can be fertilized by male gametes.
"a herd of female deer"
noun
1.
a female person, animal, or plant."
It's both.
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 23:56:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an underweight person, "You should eat more." Yet nobody will go to an overweight individual and tell them to eat less, the double standard is infuriating. Even my high school teachers would make jokes about my weight, it was miserable.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm quite skinny and tall. People feel the need to point it out constantly and its annoying as fuck.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:45:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I'm 183cm and weigh 56kg so I'm pretty much a stick, but I don't need strangers pointing that out to me.
degret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 195 at 90kg and I still get called skinny. I mean going off bmi I'm borderline overweight.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah if you get called skinny imagine what real skinny people go through... It's fucking daily.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:38:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:44:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, the internet is a horrible place but in real life it is waaaaaaay more socially acceptable to call out skinny people than fat people. FPH was absolutely disgusting, but that's what happens when you have anonymous 12 year olds.
macalania ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:30:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a fat person, I've had some nasty shit said to me, including having "heifer" screamed at me when I was out on a run and getting rude comments said to me at the gym.
The hatred towards fat people is a little more insidious off the internet. I've been told that I have a cute face and would be really gorgeous if I wasn't so fat, and I have gotten unsolicited dieting tips just because I happened to be eating in people's vicinity (we weren't talking about dieting or even weight or health.)
I get that you've had some harmful things said to you and I appreciate your feelings; however, please understand that society's nasty view on weight harms both sides of the spectrum. To assume that fat people don't get told to eat less is just plain ignorant.
Edit: Grammar
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:35:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with what you said, but there is still a difference in my eyes. Nobody is going to tell a fat person to eat less without the intention of being mean or hurtful, meanwhile calling someone skinny or telling them to eat more isn't seen as rude in our society. I'm sure you've probably suffered more abuse than I have, but probably only from asshole who are actively trying to insult you. I've had friends, family, teachers, people I care about call me out on my weight and it's very hurtful.
macalania ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I have had friends, family, teachers, people I care about call me out on my weight as well.
In fact the person who said "you'd be really pretty if you weren't fat" was my own grandmother, and a lot of the unsolicited diet comments are from people in my family.
The egregious ones (such as the yelling and the gym comments) were by strangers just trying to be assholes, but the insidious ones were always by people who cared about me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe we live in different parts of the world then, if a teacher called a student fat they would be fired almost instantly without a doubt where I live. Sucks you get that shit from your own family though, it's rough.
jeffry_robert_reuben ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wellllll maybe eat less fatty mc fat fat?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jeffry_robert_reuben ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:57:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chill out fatty.
studly_mcgee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i relate to this so hard
Afflicted_One ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You should eat more."
"Bitch, I probably eat more than you do. I just have a congenital condition which makes it really hard for me to put on much weight."
YallWholeFace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always been taller and slimmer than others my age, and I mostly agree with you on this. However, in undergrad I got such a comment from a girl handing out flyers which amused me.
She approached me with an exaggeratedly bubbly "Hey!! Do you like free food?!" This being several weeks into classes, I had already learned to completely ignore this, which must have made her feel bad. She then shouted after me: "You could use some!"
jeffry_robert_reuben ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel you. I failed a high school P.E class because my body mass index was too low.
cakeisnolie1 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 00:11:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not driving, your opinion doesn't matter" I know I'm not driving. I'm right here with you. I can tell that I'm not driving. But I do drive. And I can see clearly how you are driving, again, from right here beside you. And you're driving like an idiot.
purplekoolaiddrank ยท 1133 points ยท Posted at 14:50:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who tries to justify being morbidly obese by spouting off about that "HAES" movement.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:34:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, but what is HAES?
CallSignIceMan ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:53:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Healthy at Every Size. It's something reddit thinks is a huge deal but really isn't all that common. Just a circlejerk. Nothing to see here.
D3gr33 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 19:56:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just to clear one thing up, it's "Health at Every Size" instead of "Healthy at Every Size". The message isn't that people can be healthy no matter how large they are, the message is that no matter how large you are, your focus should be on trying to be healthy. If that means going on a diet then go on a diet, but in a medical setting, the focus should be on doing what is healthiest, whether that means losing weight or not. Most of the pressure to go on a diet isn't really related to health, it's related to wanting to look better and be respected more, and we shouldn't confuse that with eating right in order to be healthy.
Anyway, I personally think that's a giant load of shit and that obesity is inherently unhealthy, I just understand how they get frustrated at people saying that they disagree with the movement because you can't be healthy at every size, when that's not actually what the movement is trying to say at all.
JustAnotherLemonTree ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:29:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for the excellent explanation, please accept this for your contribution. :)
_Opheliac_In_Me_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:47:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It stands for 'Health At Every Size'. It's almost exclusively used by overweight/obese people who try to justify that they are just as healthy as normal weight people.
IthinkitsaDanny ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:28:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know I see people complain about this, but am yet so actually hear it.
ashmeister2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:48 on August 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're just pandering. It really isn't a big movement it's just well known on reddit especially amongst the poor lost fph crowd. Gotta get those upboats somehow!
spacecity9 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 23:48:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Be honest, how many times has anyone actually ever told you that? It's ok if you're trying to pander to reddit
WheezyTurtle ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:56:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAES? Healthy adults expecting sympathy?
SCREAMING_FLESHLIGHT ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:17:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huge adults expecting snacks.
ritmusic2k ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:52:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Serious answer: Healthy At Any Size
EDIT: *Every
TheSadMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any=E?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:06:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eny - seems legit.
ritmusic2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rushed, screwed up. "Healthy At Every Size"
WheezyTurtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you :)
SyKoHPaTh ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:41:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heavy Ass Eating Something?
[deleted] ยท 232 points ยท Posted at 15:02:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm healthy though! Instead of drinking 24 cokes a day, I drink 48 of the new low calorie Coca-Colas
[deleted] ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 15:30:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
dougefreshm4l ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:25:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Living the coke life might actually make you pretty skinny.
kevinkit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:23:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SNOOORT
GAAAAHHHHH MY NOSE!
"Wrong kind of Coke, Johnson."
JayofLegend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to Artie Lange
darkcustom ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:19:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My coworker loves coke. Hates Pepsi and every Pepsi related product. So when Coke life came out he kept telling everyone it is healthy coke. All natural! Still not sure if he is joking...
El_Sjakie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:56:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crude oil is also blackish and pure natural, go try some of that.
JordanSM ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:15:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And it's green! Like broccoli!
hastala ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That shit is nuts. It's so carbonated, that if taking 2 big gulps almost bursts your stomach.
That being said, I'll gild the person who chugs a whole bottle.
Redbulldildo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mail me one and I'll try, it can't be worse than chugging Nos.
applepwnz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember hearing that Coke was coming out with a "new healthy soda!" Then I looked at the calories listed on the can..
solomondg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:03:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Half calorie cake means you can have twice as much!
dunmifflnfinity ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My cat is a chunk, and when I took her to the vet, they said she was perfectly healthy.
She flops down the stairs.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's diet double dew, it has half the calories of a double dew"
wje100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
diet double dew, half the sugar and calories of double dew, don't dew the math.
JuggernautV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fat fighters, if you eat cake, slice it in thinner pieces. Then it half the calories and you can eat twice as much!. Fuck little brittain is funny
CptAustus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like a McRib with extra fries, a big cone icecream. Oh, and a diet coke.
[deleted] ยท 543 points ยท Posted at 15:42:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its just genetics!
But being gay is definitely a choice.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:02:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but this is such a stupid straw man. These two statements are completely unrelated. Unless of course you're trying to say that fat people are homophobes or something, which is so strange because the whole "Fat Acceptance Movement" is the spawn of hyper-liberalism. This comment serves no purpose other than to feed into the circlejerk.
D3gr33 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:37:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's be honest, we all know why this thread exists.
Sister_Winter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:26:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ, right? Members of the HAES movement are pretty much the last people to call homosexuality a choice.
exelion ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 17:26:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think his point is that both weight and sexuality are nuanced issues that are part accident of genetics, part lifestyle.
Smitty1017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No.
Linearts ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:45:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are a number of HAES bloggers who make excuses for being lazy, gluttonous, and fat, while hating homosexual men.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:51:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok cool. There are a number of black rights activists who talk about equality for all while simultaneously attacking Jewish people. Doesn't mean all black people are anti-Semitic, or that there's any reason to bring anti-semitism when talking about black rights. It would only serve as a stupid, meaningless straw man.
bigmansam45 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are the only person to state an entire group. Everyone has provided examples which are true of a sub group, which is the thing with examples, they aren't always representative of the whole.
Also, that wouldn't have to be a straw man argument. It could be, but wouldn't have to be.
that__one__guy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know one is a number but it doesn't count.
Michinoix ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:33:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's genetics, it is just evolution. Imgur
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:24:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism, I'm still responsible for not becoming an alcoholic, even if it's easier for me to become one than the average person.
Wake_and_Poi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:17:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Native4lyfe
But in all seriousness being predisposed to alcoholism and diabetes sucks. On the plus side, knowing this has allowed me to be mindful of what I put in my body.
lemonchris1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can have a genetic predisposition towards alcoholism??? How does that work?
Enthused_Llama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh that's a good comparison, thanks.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:06:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! You just offended all the gay, obese pansexuals.
Dickcheese_McDoogles ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:27:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't appreciate you referring to me as a a cisgender human male.
I'm a tri-gender pyrofox.
El_Profesore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:39:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gender fluid demisexual dragon-godkin
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:40:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SRS linking in 3...2...1...
Sister_Winter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I get da joke because Tumblr lolol
AnMatamaiticeoirRua ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:10:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who are you mad at, specifically? Because I think there's a good chance they don't actually exist.
nate800 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:41:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I saw some study that found that genetics only makes up a 10-15lbs weight difference across most people unless they have some kind of serious anomaly. If I find it, I'll post it!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently so is being autistic :@
thedawgbeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, genetics caused you to go through that drive-through, get 2 meals with 2 drinks (so it would seem that you're buying for someone else), and then eat them in your car in a parking lot before you go home to have dinner with your parents. That was genetics. It wasn't your lack of self-control leading to a life of self-destructive excess at all.
HogBomber2001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, partial genetics. I'm a fatty. I know it. Working to change it tho.
Enthused_Llama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's definitely a genetic component to how easy it is to lose/gain.
However this just means it's more/less difficult for different people (except in specific cases). Don't tell me it's impossible because you can't put in the effort.
portlandtrees333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Best choice I ever made.
Gabodrx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My genetic condition me to eat like remorse.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:38:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am big boned.
housethatjacobbuilt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:41:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
100% the worst. Seriously, fuck those people.
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:07:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This year I went from having a BMI of 34.5 to 26.2, a loss of over 50 lbs. When I was obese, I did not feel healthy. I felt fucking terrible. I was depressed and lazy. HAES is a lie.
The fact of the matter is you don't lose weight until you're ready to commit to it. Same thing with quitting smoking. It's been almost 3 years since my last cigarette too. You can do anything if you're really ready for it.
iamacarboncarbonbond ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 23:17:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could be wrong, but I thought the HAES movement was originally supposed to be less like "don't make any effort to change you're fine at whatever size" more like "develop good eating/exercise habits because it's good for you rather than obsessing about the numbers on the scale." Which makes sense, because weight can fluctuate a bit day to day and people can hit plateaus and whatever that can be discouraging, plus there are people like my best friend who are skinny as a rail but eat nothing but oreos and ramen and that's not good for you, either.
averymadison ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:49:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly what it was, originally! Eat healthy and exercise moderately, and your weight will even out on its own without you obsessing over the scale.
getoutofheretaffer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:25:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was my impression after visiting a couple of their websites. Healthy living will lead to good health.
that__one__guy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:15:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Considering it's called Health At Every Size and not Healthy At Every Size, that's exactly what it is. But this is reddit and we all know how reddit reacts to people who aren't like them.
newloaf ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 18:07:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is folks who claim their metabolisms do not abide by the Law of Conservation of Energy. "It doesn't matter how low my calorie intake is. I exercise every day, but I still can't lose weight!"
Shit dude, call NSA and ask for a grant.
NeapolitanSix ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:10:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you mean NASA? No need to call the NSA, they already know.
tungstan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:07:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called getting older, you will learn when you're working out in your 40s
newloaf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:08:12 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Already in my 40s, thanks! I remember telling my uncle when I was in my 20s that when I got older and my metabolism slowed down I would cut down my calorie consumption so I wouldn't put on weight. He told me it was "a little more complicated than that".
Turns out it's not.
that__one__guy ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is such a bullshit way of thinking. You're, for some reason, saying that every person's, in the entire world, metabolism works the same?
Afflicted_One ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Metabolisms in the traditional sense don't affect weight that much, however the whole concept of "conservation of energy" in our bodies is incredibly flawed. When we take in energy in the form of food, two things happen, generally speaking. Either it gets stored as energy (fat, for instance), or deposited as waste. There are many people with congenital conditions which affect the body differently. Many individuals find it quite difficult to gain weight. Where does all of that consumed energy go? It gets shat out.
Such as wide sweeping generalization has no place from a medical perspective.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
So like, a dozen people on tumblr.
plasticwrapshorts ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:41:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are a group of larger girls that I know, and I once overheard them talking about how healthy they are and how they just CAN'T lose weight because of 'genetics'. Yes, genetics do play a role in your size and bone structure, and no, not everyone is meant to be a size 2... I get that. However, when I see you funnelling back soda and chips and cookies, just because you decide to have a side salad with that does NOT mean you're 'healthy'. You have to make constant choices to eat the correct portion of healthy foods. If you ate as healthfully as you say you do, you would NOT be 250+ lbs... On the flip side of that, not every small skinny person is healthy either! They may have fast metabolisms to compensate for their shitty eating habits, or they could just eat small portions of shitty food for each meal, but skinny does not always equal healthy either. In short, just make a conscious effort to eat properly sized portions of healthy food and you'll be fine.
Firecracker500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it still possible for someone to have such shit genetics that even if they eat healthy and are healthy, that they could look fat?
plasticwrapshorts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:43:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are genetic patterns that would cause a person to be tall, have broad shoulders, wide set rib cages etc etc, in other words, "to be big boned". People who do have those types of genetics could look larger while still living healthfully. Besides medical conditions like hypothyroidism and things like that, there is no reason that a person who eats properly sized portions of healthy and nourishing food, should be obese. You could look larger while having an appropriate amount of body fat for your body type, and still be healthy. Ethnicity can also play a part in body types as well, but that's a whole other topic.
HOWEVER:
If you are 5'8, 300lbs and I see you constantly munching on junk food and soda while proclaiming how healthy you are, I'm going to judge you
CafeNino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All about dat bass?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's haes?
ArcticTerrapin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell is HAES
JDismyfriend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Health at every size'.. Pure /r/fatlogic ;)
ArcticTerrapin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you come from r/optometry just to answer that? Thanks!
JDismyfriend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did :D Hope it helped!
ArcticTerrapin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It did!
Kyddeath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up heavy. forced to clean the plate, candy/snacks given instead of compassion if I was down or upset. Did not learn about proper nutrition till a few years ago then lost 40 pounds in one summer. Depression and disability kept me from keeping it off but taking it one day at a time to lose it and the rest.
Atlas_Waved ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is the "HAES" movement?
LordOrgasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Them GMOs dun made me fatter than I actually am by changing muh genetics
VAPossum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Happy at any size, sure. Beauty at all sizes, yup, I'm on board. Healthy at every size, no. Obese people can be healthy, but their risks are much higher.
Cmyers1980 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is the HAES movement?
lucasg20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have a glandular problem" *takes bite of double big mac with extra cheese.
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, they should have to defend themselves and never be comfortable in their own skin! /s
Being obese isn't healthy. There are plenty of physical ailments that come from it. But mental health is a portion of being healthy. Guilt, shame, negative, negative feelings, don't tend to foster healthy lifestyle choices. It is easier to change when you feel more comfortable with who you are as a person.
You also don't know what is going on in a person's life. People trying to incorporate healthy choices into their lives should never be met with negativity.
I have suffered from chronic pain and illness for many years. The medication, depression, and inability to much caused me to pack on the pounds. I would barely eat and still gain weight. I finally have been able to get my health back, and my pain under control and have made some healthy changes to my life. I am losing weight, but I didn't put it on overnight and it won't all come off overnight either. I shouldn't be made to feel bad about myself at every turn when I am doing all I can to be truly heathly.
I could do none of this if I stayed in a place of self-hatred and loathing. I have been there and it only caused harm.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the only reason i can see being mordibly obese is if you have anxiety/depression that isn't treatable w/ any medications out there, and you don't want to pass away due to suicide. so, you just keep on living.
whatsup_assdicks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is HAES?
NECROmorph_42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Naw man I'm just 'fluffy'" or "naw dude, it's just a bit of baby fat."
inclination64609 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In training at my new job I had a guy who is around at least 400lbs+ try to tell me how I shouldn't drink soda because its so unhealthy. He then went on to tell everyone how he just found out he had to start losing weight because he started developing some health issues recently. The way he said it is what bothered me the most. As if he was healthy when he was in the 300lb range.
fleckstin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAES?
dingding91234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAES?
Cacame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How about anyone that justifies being a cunt to fat people with "but "HAES" is dangerous! They need to know that they are sub-human filth or they won't lose weight!"
I always thought fat acceptance was bs but since the FPH saga I'm not so sure.
magicsparkles12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhhh! You're going to get banned! Stick to racism and misogyny, it's safer./s
RelevantComics ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who tries to justify being hateful by spouting off about that "FPH" movement.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:39:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
D3gr33 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:04:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The same concept exists in multiple places, though. The concept of "Fat People Hate" manifested itself on reddit as a subreddit, but there are "Fat People Hate" 4chan and 8chan threads, there are tumblrs devoted to mocking fat people, etc. At that point, it's not just a subreddit, there are probably dozens of places on the internet devoted to the concept of "Fat People Hate". Which, whether you agree or disagree with the core concept of it, is pretty fucking weird when you stop and think about it.
RelevantComics ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:44:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A very stupid one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
RelevantComics ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My point is that it was stupid and it's good that it was banned.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:54:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
RelevantComics ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:59:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't say coon town was stupid? Stupid, hateful subreddits like FPH and coon town were harmful to reddit.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:01:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
RelevantComics ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:05:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose in my original comment, I meant hateful when I said stupid. My mistake.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:07:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
RelevantComics ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man that sub, the unlinkable flag related sub, and wheredidthesodago are my favorite places outside of sports subs.
motion_lotion ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:37:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think your point got blown the fuck out, but you're too weak to admit defeat and move on so you moved the goal posts.
RelevantComics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the argument has been dead for a couple hours and you should let it go.
motion_lotion ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:54:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Relax buddy, it's new to me. Remember, it's a important skill in life to be able to admit when one's wrong. You look like an ass otherwise.
WesternCanadaKing ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:18:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Playing devil's advocate here. The movement has a point to make in that simply being overweight doesn't necessarily mean someone is unhealthy, and someone who is of a normal weight isn't necessarily healthy. I've known healthy, athletic people who are naturally larger, and Ive known skinny people who have absolutely awful lifestyles. They're basically asking people to think more about what it means to be healthy.
Gurip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but that exatly what it is.. it is unhealthy, proven by tons of scientists and people in medical fields.
WesternCanadaKing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A quick google search disagrees with you. There are plenty of recent studies that demonstrate that being overweight can be a natural body state for SOME people.
All I'm saying is that there are people with extra mass who are still fit and eat well. This coincides with my personal experience as well. It can also be (and often most often is) a sign of an unhealthy lifestyle, but not always.
There are plenty of thin people are very unhealthy as well.
motion_lotion ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:39:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are unhealthy thin people: drug addicts, smokers, etc, but that doesn't change the fact that high body fat is horrible for you. Also, you got a source on these 'recent studies' that show being overweight is a natural body state?
disc_addict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a glandular problem!
Skishkitteh ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 17:32:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most dumbasses can't tell what morbidly obese means. Then they think that because someone else is fat, they are superior and this fat person certainly deserves to be made fun of for being in public.
At this point I've taken to agreeing with Haas just in protest of people who are just plain dicks about it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:40:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Skishkitteh ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 20:03:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
..... Did you just compare supporting body confidence in people with supporting with mass organized murderers and torturers?
Haas is not literally hitler. What is wrong with you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Skishkitteh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:32:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just noticed your username, fair enough, carry on evil doer.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:13:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beauty At Every Size, BAES, is even worse. Although, you could just shorten it to BS.
carlin_is_god ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:50:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People speak up when anorexics are extremely underweight because it is unhealthy and endangering their well being, the other extreme should be acceptable too.
SprintingScrotum ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:31:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh she's/he's very attractive, for a black/coloured person"
Like dude. No. Appreciate the beauty without feeling the need to add a qualifier.
Edit: Typo.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:53:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if as a general rule an individual does not find most members of another race attractive? Their sexual attraction is now racist?
I probably wouldn't say it out loud in public but I am honestly a little surprised when I find black women attractive. The ones who I find attractive are VERY attractive, but they are few and far between.
On the other hand, I find most latinas in good health to be fairly attractive. I guess I must just be racist.
SprintingScrotum ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:52:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't about your sexual preference, it's about making generalizations.
"This one person from x race is attractive, but everyone in y race is attractive."
Although, I feel even that isn't what I really dislike, I dislike the fact that they cannot comprehend what they are saying. You said you wouldn't say it out loud, that means you understand how social situations work. Means you have some measure of intelligence.
iamaneviltaco ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 01:22:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of people feel this is the case, yeah.
Yup. Well, if you're into them because blablabla "sassy firey latina" it actually is racist. If it's that you find them aesthetically appealing? Nah, I don't date redheads as a general rule, and I prefer black hair. That's just having a type, imo.
empgdca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not racist to find someone attractive or unattractive due to their race. As you said, it's just having a type.
SprintingScrotum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's racist to make the generalization that people from a specific race are not anything.
nolo_me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Y'know, it's really not unless there's a value judgement that goes along with it.
Black people are less prone to sunburn and skin cancer.
Black people are thieves.
Only one of the preceding statements is racist.
SprintingScrotum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Young squire, you are correct.
empgdca ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not really sure what you mean. Do you mean it's racist to say that stereotypes are always inaccurate?
SprintingScrotum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:29:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I realize that statement was pretty vague, I got bronchitis so I'm pretty lethargic because of the medication. What I meant to say was that it isn't about finding someone attractive or not, it's the fact that every time someone uses this phrase it is accompanied by a sense of disbelief. "It's not possible that race X can have beautiful people!" That's where the superiority comes in.
Also, I now have a tummy ache.
Epistaxis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:55:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thanks, you're very kind for an asshole."
alikros53 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:45:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is okay as long as you specify that you don't find X race etc attractive.
Zemogray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have to disagree with you. It's never ok, when you speak of a person in this context, it's like your complimenting them while insulting them. However it's more larger scaled since it applies to their race/skin. Just say you find that person attractive.
PotsyWife ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:08:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And also "Keep calm and carry on" makes me want to punch people too.
Famicomania ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:56:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate reading."
silvershark76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would like to say that I've simply just could never get into a book like avid readers but I'll cut the shit and be honest in saying that I do infact hate reading. Care to explain why you dislike people who do?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people that say it hate to think in general and need everything spelled out for them. Not everyone, but the ones that claim it as a defining characteristic aren't so great.
Famicomania ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an avid reader, and it just avoid me when people say they don't like to read, because they are missing out on a whole form of media that is incredible. A lot of people can't be convinced that reading can be a lot of fun, and I personally don't understand it.
silvershark76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think one of the biggest reasons for this is assigned reading in schools. Now, don't get me wrong, I think it's important for kids to read regularly throughout school but in my own experience it's not fun to do something you're forced to do. From a very early age, schools really try to get kids to love reading. By middle school, most kids associate reading as kind of a chore. It doesn't help that the titles assigned just aren't interesting for most kids. At least this is how I felt. I think I only liked about 2-3 of the books I ever had to read in middle/high school. And even the books I did like I couldn't get "lost" in like you're suppose to do. I could tolerate the story just enough to sit through an activity I think is incredibly dull.
Maybe this is because were now surrounded by TV, internet, video games, things that provide a greater amount of stimulation for the same amount of effort as a book. Maybe it just comes down to preference. Personally, I always loved video games. I can "lost" in them like you can in reading. They allow me to enjoy the entire artistic spectrum in an interactive package. Art, music, storytelling, gameplay mechanics, fun-factor, etc. I just can't get that from reading. I find it incredibly taxing and boring. I can't focus or process information as quickly. Sure, this probably just means I haven't trained myself to read well enough and there are books out there that I would probably like, but I just find games more satisfying.
Zemogray ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:23:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I've actually noticed this. I read all the time as a child. I still have a library of books I read as a child. From Harry potter to spiderwick to magic thief. I just loved the idea of reading. When I progressed through school, I slowly started to dislike it. It felt more like a chore now adays.
Ranndym ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:03:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That Donald Trump is making a lot of sense these days."
ibbolia ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:15:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I want him to win as a wake up call" THAT'S NOT A GOOD REASON
whitefitThA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:35:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was in Bradford with relatives a week ago and they watched the debates while I was sleeping in my friend's car. After that all I ever heard from them about Trump was about how right he was about this country and I don't even know what he said.
Akihirohowlett ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone ever said that without joking?
wackawacka2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I have two friends who love Trump. They toe the Republican line no matter what. It's frustrating. If he weren't running, they'd think he was a joke like I do.
VAPossum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Trump/Palin '16!"
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 15:36:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ireter294 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:20:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the general idea is if you have been told you're mature for your age, then you likely are. If no one has, you have average maturity or lower
JuggernautV2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:11:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But what if at the age of 12 you didnt like fart jokes but liked racist humor or sarcasm/really edgy stuff
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:12:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you feel about "I'm immature for my age"?
TryUsingScience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like a beautifully crafted crimson silk flag with the words "I am incredibly immature for my age" lovingly embroidered on it in scarlet thread.
wiz_killa ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:24:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but if someone on the internet says "ayy lmao" or "xDDD" or similar things, I just have nothing but hate for them.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:53:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheHatRemover ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:26:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ayy macarena
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't like /r/circlejerk
Zombiekiller_17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or /r/thatHappened
JuggernautV2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Xdddd triggers me ayy lmao can be slightly annoying
Aprikoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ayy lmao xD
NWBoomer ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:20:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "Everything happen for a reason".
notsostandardtoaster ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:04:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah i hate when my subject-verb agreement doesn't line up too
NWBoomer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My auto correct doesn't thrill me that much either.
NESoteric ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 16:46:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever some one says "I'm just gonna kill myself" for attention and not because they're actually suicidal. Like, "Oh my god, my parents are dumb, my professors all hate me, everything sucks, I'm just gonna kill myself." or to gain sympathy or to push someone to do something, "if you break up with me, I'm going to kill myself."
JuggernautV2 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:12:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This gives people who are actually suicidal no chance to be taken seriously.
NESoteric ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:25:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know, it makes the phrase meaningless. And when you get flooded by it, it has a boy who cried wolf effect if someone really is suicidal.
JuggernautV2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup i have no social media so im away from that, which is really fuckin nice.
plantstand ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:34:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone threatens suicide, especially in an emotionally blackmail kind of way, you should tell them you'll call 911. You aren't trained to deal with it.
wlee1987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like Quagmire's girlfriend Joan
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has bipolar disorder, this really gets on my nerves. I usually tell those people they don't have the strength to do it.
NESoteric ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I've threatened to call the cops on them and inform the cops that my friend is threatening suicide. That usually shuts them up.
HellfireAgnostic ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a friend who was a "suicidal" drama king, and instead of giving him pity, I would encourage him to follow through with it.
NESoteric ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't go that far, but mine was my ex who was obsessed with getting me back and pretty damn desperate. Several times I had my phone ready to go. I don't know what the police do in these situations, but I'm pretty sure it would be a headache for her.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:54:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They would cuff her and bring her to the closest psych ward. She would be stuck there against her will for like 72(?) hours. They can keep signing a new form to keep you there if they want though (in Canada at least). I was involuntarily committed and after a couple days they said I could stay voluntarily. I asked them what they would do if I didn't want to stay and they told me they would force me through another form. I got privileges by being voluntary so that what I chose.
NESoteric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if it's the same down here in the US... that's good to know though, she needed legit psych help for her anxiety and paranoia, and a wake up call.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:02:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It changed my life. You see the psychiatrists daily or weekly and you hopefully get the right meds. It feels like the regular process but fast tracked. Not everyone feels the same but I am very glad I got sent there.
NESoteric ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:16:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad it worked! That's really good to hear, and I'm really glad you're doing better!
startrix91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has been in that kind of situation, thank you. There is nothing worse than someone blackmailing you with their own life.
NESoteric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's an emotional mess to be in, but hopefully you're out of it too!
startrix91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was ten years ago, I was young and stupid and I learned from it. Definitely much better off now :)
wastingtoomuchthyme ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 15:18:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO!
[deleted] ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 16:45:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know why no one says yolo anymore?
Cause they're all dead.
NecroGod ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:46:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good.
GunNNife ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:46:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood this phrase. If you only live once, wouldn't you be more careful rather than less careful?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOL
doinstuf ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So is drake a zombie?
ireter294 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:18:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think we've gotten to the point where people only say YOLO ironically
skinnyguy699 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When kids started saying this it made me feel old at 23.
luckytaurus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Los Yolo Hermanos
tim1901 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swag
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RyanB_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, hasn't been for ages
baitaozi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here for this. I had a "friend" skip my wedding because she wanted to go to a concert that was 30 minutes away from my wedding venue... and when asked why, she said, "YOLO." Yeah.. no shit. That concert is twice a year. I only get married once a lifetime. Oh, forgot to mention she's in Cali and I'm in Texas... She flew to Texas for that damn concert.
wastingtoomuchthyme ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
appropriate use of quotes..
totally sucks but then again - she showed you who she was..
Pimpotron ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:05:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow so it's still cool to hate this?
ManeshHalai ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 15:19:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at the best." Fuck off with that bullshit, most people that say this want an excuse to be a massive cunt.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:47:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand people with no desire for self-improvement. If you have to make excuses and expect everyone else to simply tolerate your worst, rather than trying to adapt and improve, you aren't worth my time.
mythix_dnb ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:06:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
upvote because you said cunt
electrikskies1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, Marilyn Monroe never even said this quote.
starjedi357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and moody cunt
Tanexion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:32 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen this quite a few times and honestly, I always thought people who said this were talking about physical appearance.
Like, most people have days where we just look like crap. It happens. I always took that phrase to mean, 'if I'm not good enough on days where I don't look perfect, don't even bother.'
reincarN8ed ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:11:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Evolution is just a theory.
FungalCactus ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:43:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gravity is just a theory.
Apellosine ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:55:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and I wish those people who don't believe the Theory of Evolution would not believe in the Theory of Gravity and float the fuck away.
StevetheLeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then explain my broken scale!
Apellosine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:56:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yet people get mad when I bring up that so is the Theory of Gravity or the Theory of Planetary Motion or the Germ Theory of Disease or the Theory of Sexual Reproduction.
IMicrowaveTridents ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:44:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Theory means widely accepted and proven
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:02:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
in a scientific context, yes
cactopus101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah op doesn't science well
defectivekill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He is saying it in the context of when people disagree with it and say " well evolution is just a theory"
cactopus101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that makes sense, I was just thinking in terms of the scientific definitions.
Csantana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with your sentiment 100% I really hate when people say this
also something that kinda bugs me though is when people say "so is gravity" and maybe add "so I hope they float off of the earth"
I know there is a theory of gravity but gravity is something that is really easy to observe and is a phenomenon we all experience. While you could argue that evolution is as well ( and I would) I feel like we need a better comparison.
Enantiomorphism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"so is germ theory" "so I hope they get dysentery (although I really don't hope they get dysentery, they are also human and don't deserve to suffer)"
Zemogray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Technically speaking in a scientific context, it's both
etienetteVA ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:35:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It flushes the toxins!"
Dead_HumanCollection ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no! The dreaded toxins. Reminds me of miasma, the idea that you would get ill from smelling foul smells.
mrnagrom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thank you, thank you, thank you.
espo1959 ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 17:03:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get instantly pissed off at high school kids asking when they'll ever use this stuff in real life. You won't mother fucker, it's all about learning to be responsible with work.
Cmyers1980 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:47:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are better ways to make someone responsible than to make them learn shit they will never use.
If you are going to work at Burger King when you leave high school, teaching you 4 years of Shakespeare isn't doing you a favor. Students should not be forced to take classes that offer them nothing besides trigonometry if their career goal doesn't have anything to do with it.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:23:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is, though, they might not know what job they'll want when they leave high school. When I was a freshman, I thought I was going to be a comic book artist. So obviously I didn't really need math or anything like that, right? Now that I'm older I realize that's an unrealistic goal for me, and I am so glad that I couldn't just drop all my math and science classes because I "didn't need them". I'm glad that I was "forced" to take geometry and chemistry and economics along with the classes that I actually liked.
What if the teachers had just said, "Oh, this fourteen year old wants to make comic books for a living? Well, I guess we won't be making her take any math classes. She's definitely old enough to choose what she wants to do for a living and plan her education for the next few years based on that!" Then I would have wasted my rights to a free basic education just because I had unrealistic dreams as a child. When I got older and realized that comic book writing just isn't a realistic career choice for me, it would be too late. If I wanted that basic education, I'd have to pay for it. I'd have to take some sort of extra-remedial classes in college before I ever moved on to the normal ones, and that would make it take longer for me to graduate, and that would mean that I'm paying for at least another year of tuition.
TL;DR: If that kid ever decides that he doesn't want to work at Burger King after high school for the rest of his life, having a free high school education will make things a hell of a lot easier.
magicpony13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but none of the math i learned after 14 years of age was never once useful to me again. I forgot it all and it doesnt matter. I have my own business and do my own taxes and there is no problem i cant simply do with a calculator and 6th grade math skills.
heroescandream ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:20:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well here's a more relevant example then. When I was in high school, I wanted to be a psychologist. After my first semester of college, I discovered my love of engineering and actually needed all that math I learned in high school.
I feel that no education is ever wasted. Knowing more never hurts you. The fact that you learned several levels of math beyond arithmetic might have taught you problem solving skills that leak into your daily life. Four years of literary analysis taught you critical thinking skills that can apply to anything you read or watch or learn
magicpony13 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:35:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think needing all the math you learned in high school puts you in a minority. I had every summer from middle-highschool wasted on math summer school when I could have been working/travelling/camping with my family and been learning so much more. That time should of been spent learning something i was passionate about, not wasted learning shit I will not remember or ever use as soon as i leave the classroom.
heroescandream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess we just need to have individualized education for every single student and trust they know exactly what subjects are important before even learning them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't seem as if it was important, but you underestimate just how much you learned from doing the math, even if you don't remember the math itself.
There are connections in your brain right now you wouldn't have if you didn't take high level maths, and you use them every day in critical thinking and risk/reward assessments, for starters.
ZaphodBbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I support this view. School is basically about analytical and critical thinking - at least that is the idea. You practice seeing patterns in different ways. Different subjects are there to give you different approaches to understand different aspects of the world using different methods. The content is there primarily because you need data to run programs and maybe find out what interests you. If you don't remember any of the data later it's no big deal but the programs are what helps you develop as a person and professionally.
edit: Math is also one hell of a language to express, work with, and understand condensed theories of variables that are influenced by others. Stuff you couldn't explain in 5 pages of text make up only one or two lines of an equation you can fuck with to see what happens if you change one variable or the other. That shit can be used to explain the world. It's not just a mental exercise. Well, you rarely get that in school because teachers don't want to lose the math haters.
magicpony13 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bullshit! you might as well tell me that chewing gum as a kid created new connections in my brain and that i use for critical thinking. High level math wasted time i should have spent studying what i was passionate about.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:47:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chewing gum does not involve much problem solving. Reasoning out a complex, multi step equation...
You see the idea. Skills you need in order to function in high levels of any occupation. I really don't have respect for someone who would choose to be willingly ignorant.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:10:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it absolutely is. If you leave school without having read some of humanity's greatest literature, you have been failed. If you leave school without knowing how a cell operates, you have been failed. If you leave school without knowing how impossibly huge the universe is and how insignificant our entire planet is, you have been failed. If you leave school without knowing who Pythagoras was and how to solve his theorem, you have been failed.
If you leave school without knowing how to manage simple bank accounts, you have been failed.
Two types of knowledge, both extremely important.
ZaphodBbox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Literature makes you think about problems that are relevant to the world. Even if it's 400 years old. Life hasn't changed that much if you get down to the basic themes. It also teaches you to enjoy art and explore ways to express yourself.
Cmyers1980 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:19:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you believe this because?
I agree with some of the stuff you named but others not so much.
Enantiomorphism ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:18:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The point of education is to get people to explore. How can you explore without basic understanding of the natural world and the human experience?
mini-actualsize ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:05:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
High Schooler: "This is stupid, I hate school. I'm never going to use this" Me: "Then dropout"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:25:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did that, and my life improved dramatically
SkyF1y ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After taking LSD 24/7
Akihirohowlett ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:34:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that I hate that they teach us useless stuff, it's that teachers, 99% of the time math teachers, try to act like we will.
wrong_assumption ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:18:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO BE INTEGRATING EVERY DAY MOTHERFUCKER, IT'S ABOUT LEARNING THE CONCEPT THAT YOU CAN BREAK UP YOUR BIG-ASS PROBLEM INTO SMALL-ASS EPSILONS TO SOLVE THE SHIT OUT OF IT. THAT IDEA IS WHAT SHOULD STICK THE FUCK WITH YOU.
Lindseywastaken ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:46:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, but nobody explains that to the kids. That's something learned in hindsight.
digitaldeadstar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guarantee you that more kids would pay attention in class if you were the teacher.
TheLuper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So that justifies me sitting through trig and calc even though i wanted a job in the music industry? Maybe i don't wanna solve the shit out of things numb nuts
magicpony13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuck you! give me something useful i can 'learn to be responsible' with then.
Satans__Secretary ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:29:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I forgot pretty much everything I learned in high school by now.
wlee1987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:38:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you none of them have asked that during sex ed though.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They have a point sometimes though, at least in my high school, we were forced to take classes that overall help very little when we could be learning about something that we will need in the future. At least for me, the frustration came from being taught something along the lines of a hobby as opposed to something vital to my future success.
macalania ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:23:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because kids can't be taught things that align with their education/career goals and learn to be responsible with work, am I right?
Enantiomorphism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The point is more than just learning enough to do work and function in society. Exploration and Curiosity are fundamental things we want in an educated person.
Why do we teach Shakespeare, integrals and the second world war? They are all fundamental in understanding the inner workings of reality and life itself. One could live and work without this knowledge, but what would be the point?
We've decided as a society that it's better when a student can appreciate forms of art, understand the foundations of modern technology, and understand the historical context of their times.
Most students don't even know what they want to do, and most won't be able to do what they want to do until after rigorous training greater than the schools can provide is available. Moreover, students that do know what they want to do are generally the type of students that would also want to understand shakespeare and know more about the second world war.
And even more importantly than all of those, we have a tendency to mystify the world. To take what we don't understand as impossible technical magic. And the demystification that schools provide is very important to functioning in modern society, and contributing in the greater human experience.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a teacher I wish more people understood this. I go out of my way to make this clear on top of the usefulness of the subject (which is limited, but still there).
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 22:02:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
somerandomguy27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:11:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Republican and I hate Bill O'Reilly. He's a fucking twat.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:58:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Satans__Secretary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:32:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally I think xmas is a cheap ripoff that shouldn't be celebrated; it should be replaced by Yule...
...which was the original holiday, before christians ruined it.
And before you make some silly claim; I don't have any sort of "political party" affiliation.
thescandall ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:01:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My horoscope said...
Satans__Secretary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...followed by some bullshit they read on Facebook or picked up from their local newspaper; rather than an actual horoscope. Pisses me off.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 21:01:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they judge someone based on their outer appearance.
Especially if someone instantly hates another person based on one experience or interaction.
For example, a cashier seems like a nice gal but she's short with you.
"Well she must be a bitch. Fuck her. I hate people like that. She's a horrible person for not treating me like royalty."
Well what if her Dad died a week ago? What if she's got 20 bills and three kids and is stressed out? What if she's grappling with depression or anxiety?
"Man judges by a person's outer appearance..." and all that.
I always make room for second impressions because I'm often wrong. People need to give others a chance and not expect perfection from strangers.
jackdarton ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:05:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm right there with you on this. I was out with my ex and his family once, I hadn't spent much time with them at all, but I knew they were pretty bitchy and inconsiderate. We were sat eating, and a lady in her 40's or so walked past to use the bathroom. She looked perfectly normal to me.
Suddenly my ex's mum and her daughters started coming out with things like "Jesus, how does that bitch fit in that dress?" and "She looks a bit old and rough to be dressing up", and "Mutton dressed as lamb"
I was dumbfounded. My ex justified it by saying "They've always been judgmental", like that somehow excuses what they said. The lady didn't hear any of this, but I felt so bad for her. A nice woman, probably out for a quiet meal with her family, and thought she would put on a dress to feel nice for the evening, only to be very, very aggressively ridiculed by the people I was eating with. I didn't go out with them again after that, and his family was a big part of why we ended up splitting.
eF-eE-eL-eN ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:51:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone said 'literally' yet? Because I'm literally sick of this shit.
HellfireAgnostic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a red flag that they don't have a grasp on the meaning of the words they use. Correct them every time.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:20:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 7 year old cousin uses this in every fucking sentence without really knowing how to use it correctly. Drives me INSANE when babysitting.
414RequestURITooLong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Figuratively insane, I hope.
The_Yar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:39:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you think is meant by "very," "really," "truly," "seriously," and all of the other words that used to mean "literally" but now mean "dramatic emphasis"?
PM-me-dem_titties ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that isn't true. I learned recently that the use of the word literally to mean figuratively has been going on for over a hundred years in literature. No different than the word really, which used to mean the same damn thing. If the person said really instead of literally you likely wouldn't of batted an eye.
"He is a fortunate man to be introduced to such a party of fine women at his arrival; it is literally to feed among the lilies." - The History of Emily Montague by Francis Brooke, 1769
"We had been literally rocked in our bed." - Sanditon by Jane Austen, 1817
"Lily, the caretakerโs daughter, was literally run off her feet." -Dubliners by James Joyce, 1914
HellfireAgnostic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because it's in print, doesn't mean it's correct.
PM-me-dem_titties ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But "correct" becomes entirely arbitrary then. Words have usages, not intrinsic meanings. Dictionaries track usages and nothing more. As mentioned, you wouldn't have batted an eye about the term really being used, despite it originally meaning the same thing as literally qua literally.
SCREAMING_FLESHLIGHT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No it isn't- this has been baffling me recently, it's like you lot are immune to sarcasm.
If someone says "I literally XXX" when obviously they did not, it's to emphasis the point further, through sarcasm. They know what literally means.
HellfireAgnostic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure that you understand sarcasm.
PM-me-dem_titties ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He is a fortunate man to be introduced to such a party of fine women at his arrival; it is literally to feed among the lilies." - The History of Emily Montague by Francis Brooke, 1769
"We had been literally rocked in our bed." - Sanditon by Jane Austen, 1817
"Lily, the caretakerโs daughter, was literally run off her feet." -Dubliners by James Joyce, 1914
sonofjim ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 15:31:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a Christian, I..." (Or insert any other religion here) Just because you say you're a religious person doesn't make whatever you have to say next any more important than what I have to say.
DiscoshirtAndTiara ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:38:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More important, no, but it can be relevant context if you're talking about some aspect of that religion.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sonofjim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly the context I meant this to be in
TheOffTopicBuffalo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:31:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will add the "no true Scotsman" to this for the people who say "if you were a real Christian..."
teresathebarista ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:29:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But I'm clearly more moral than you and have authority on these matters!"
HellfireAgnostic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a god that gives you unlimited get out of hell free cards doesn't make you a better person, it just makes you look gullible.
teresathebarista ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:10:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The use of quotation marks was meant to display sarcasm.
HellfireAgnostic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:49:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was agreeing with you, I didn't mean "you" directly.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:43:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they're proposing a legitimate discussion of ethics. For example: "As a Christian, I was raised to believe that [religious tenet] is correct, but as a rational human I find that [opposing idea] seems to undermine [religious tenet]. How can I reconcile these concepts?"
People can have difficulty outright abandoning their faith, but a willingness to question and evaluate faith and beliefs is something that should be encouraged. This is how ideologies evolve and mature. This is how we break away from literal interpretations of archaic scripture.
clockworktwelve ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:25:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a [anything], I..."
Whether it's christian, atheist, man, woman, vegan, customer, American, taxpayer, anything.
Meapalien ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I edit old comments
hijomaffections ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:55:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a christian, I'm busy sunday mornings
acdop100 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:37:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this could also come from someone who is saying they are coming from a different point of few, not necessarily "I am better than you because I follow this religion, so listen to my opinion on this issue"
godwings101 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:09:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an atheist, I approve of this complaint.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:45:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My opinion on this follows from a religious / political platform that I've accepted wholesale, so that I can participate in the public discourse without having to reason, or read anything."
CaptainFairchild ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:41:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually appreciate this preface as it gives me carte blanche to safely ignore whatever follows.
Doofmaz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Likewise for those who've served in the armed forces. Thanks for your sacrifice, but it doesn't make you any less wrong when you're wrong.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, as a Christian, I came out here to have a good time and honestly I'm feeling so attacked right now.
sonofjim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am sorry you feel that way, I live in Oklahoma, and am constantly the minority.
Aspergers1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, when people do this, it isn't always because they think their religion makes their opinion more important, they just say it to provide context, or a reason for why they think that.
qi1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny you complain about that because the only thing you will find here on Reddit is
"I'm an atheist, ......"
detecting_nuttiness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In what context do you hear this that you don't like it? In my experience, it's always been things like, "As a Christian, I don't think Jesus was a perfect human being, even though I do believe he is my God and Savior." Which totally makes sense.
sonofjim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something like "As a Christian, I believe that everyone should do x,y,z"
GeneralJabroni ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That phrase can definitely be used appropriately.
"As a Christian, I like to fuck little boys, especially the special-needs children since they can't communicate well enough to rat me out!"
How's that? Much better, right?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's highly narcissistic of you.
Satans__Secretary ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:35:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I only pull my "religion card" if I need to correct somebody on something.
Not really a "what I'm saying is more important", it's just that 90% or so of people are dead wrong about my beliefs.
IAmHavox ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:32:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gets to a store 3 minutes before closing. "Woo, we made it just in time!"
JuggernautV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or people who shop after closing time and get all ignorant about when the shop closes. Unfortunately we cant send em away
IAmHavox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep we can't either
JuggernautV2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Last time i had a woman who thought we were open till 9 while we close at 8 she spend 25 minutes looking at vacuums and cleaning supplies forcing us to work extra without getting payed. She bought 7 euros worth of shit
SirJayblesIII ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 23:18:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Irregardless'.
Fuck. You.
SirJayblesIII ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:35:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh and when you ask someone a question to which they find the answer is obvious and they respond with 'What do YOU think?'. What do I think? I think you're a condescending little shit.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:56:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unantidisirregardless
ShockinglyEfficient ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol Tony Soprano
cmdrqfortescue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you so much. IT'S NOT A FUCKING WORD OH MY GOD SHUT UP.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:20:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no. I've said this. Alot.
GirlBrushCreepwood ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:18:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is mine right here. A lot*
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's more down to laziness than anything
ElectroBoof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I, too, cannot spend 0.2 seconds of my day hitting the space bar.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ifthisgetsyouthatannoyedidhatetoseeyouunderalotofpressurethen
Recolen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:17:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
What's wrong with that?
Edit: downvotes? No answer?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless is a real word and steel memes can't melt jet beams
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 16:34:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pray for you." Why not just try and help me?
OWLONGCANAREDDITNAM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:39:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with that? Seriously people say it's a problem but why is it a problem? It's just someone showing how they sympathise with you and want to show it.
Personally If anyone from any religion said they'd pray for me I'd take it as a complement.
Epistaxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And I'll think for you."
toaster_in_law ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't hear this without hearing the Jaron and the Long Road To Love song. I would highly recommend listening to it. Fucking hysterical
HellfireAgnostic ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:07:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've asked people to not do that; I'm just fine without the blessings of their evil gods.
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:16:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll pray for you. Also, sweet username.
Epistaxis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more worried about the wrath of the one true god after they prayed to the wrong one.
Sw3dishCh3f17 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 17:28:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I swore i would never even type this word, but.........."bae"
eagleblast ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:36:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is an instant sign that someone is the worst kind of sub-human.
villevalla ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:38:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:(
DalanianKnight ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:42:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
its okay bae.
Zemogray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are rapists, serial killers, and child molesters...but when someone says bae...they're the worst type of person?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even know what this one means.
fckn_rockstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. And I really don't care. Finally reached that age. I'm bringing shit back from the 90's at this point... Not!!!
Satans__Secretary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Place the letter B before the E.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing with yolo. When yolo first appeared I thought it was a bunch of people from West Sac or Woodland having pride in Yolo county.
Satans__Secretary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any variation of it; the proper spellings included.
lookatmeimwhite ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:01:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This thread makes me angry.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:56:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FreedomEagle1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:51 on August 26, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some people they actually don't have a filter, but someone bragging about it seems dumb.
I have a disability and i have to watch what i say in social situations, but i would say i have a filter,its just more difficult
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:55:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I feel that gay people should call their marriage something other than marriage even tho it will be exactly the same in everything but name."
luxlawliet ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:25:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of being "man and wife", you'll be "butt buddies"!
Apellosine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:09:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or Pussy Pals?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:55:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Note: Roomate just said this to me today. Yes i live in utah.
Apellosine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:09:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Separate but equal, it's worked before so why shouldn't it work again?
Satans__Secretary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because marriage, if included as a "religious institution", needs to include religions that allow homosexuals/bisexuals/etc to marry.
[deleted] ยท 255 points ยท Posted at 15:27:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
karasuningyo ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 16:48:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to check my privileges. Are they written down somewhere? Do they get automatically updated? am i able to purchase new ones help
wrong_assumption ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 23:14:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right click on the file, then click on properties. There you can check and change your read/write/execute privileges. Oh, and it's free. You're welcome.
VibratingColors ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently, you can do so here.
PM_ME_YOUR_CAMPFIRE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Apparently I'm eligible to join the patriarchy. Where do I sign up?
Crazyphapha ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:24:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're already signed up, brother.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:21:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think my privilege card got lost in the mail. I have yet to receive my stipend for being pasty white nor my tall-male grant!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone has a file.
isaacjdavery ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be THAT GUY, but it's not a complete idiomatic phrase, the back end of it is implied - "Check your privilege (at the door)" in the same way you'd check your coat at a nice restaurant.
Though I do agree with you that the phrase is fucking silly.
themagicbong ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:36:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fairly certain people also use it to mean literally look at
isaacjdavery ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:35:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose the phrase can use both of those definitions, and still hold the same meaning.
fruit17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look at your privilege. LOOK AT IT
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And even then it doesn't make any sense. The whole point of those arguments is you can never rid yourself of your privilege but then they ask you to set it aside? It's just setting someone up to be "wrong" of you can't ever not be a member of this group so therefor you will never understand what you can't understand.
JuggernautV2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:15:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ask clippy he can help.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:39:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think as long as you consider the other person's opinion it shouldn't be a problem. Like take homophobia. Everyone is allowed to have an opinion on it, but we should be paying more attention to the person who has actually experienced homophobia, because they're going to have more experience on the matter.
Numericaly7 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:45:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are disadvanted/were wronged for having experienced homophobia. If you say I'm "privileged" for having not experienced discrimination that suggests that that experience is baseline, which it isn't and shouldn't.be considered as such. I'm not a nobleman for not having experienced homophobia, I just haven't been wronged or disadvantaged by it. Privilege is something better than normal, not a default state of being that everyone should be allotted and those who aren't allotted the privilege are simply underprivileged, no those people are actually victims. Hence why "check your privilege" is racist/sexist in both directions. It's also just condescending.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:14:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, as long as you let people speak who have been discriminated against without overpowering the conversation because you think your opinion matters more than theirs, then they shouldn't have an issue and are just trying to cause more conflict.
Another thing people do is invalidating experiences. If you say, "Racism/sexism/homophobia doesn't exist anymore" while people are trying to explain to you how it still does and you just refuse to listen because you can't possibly be wrong, then you need too reevaluate if you're having these conversations to learn more and have a serious discussion or to stroke your own ego.
clintmccool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as a cis straight white male I find it outrageous that my loud opinion on issues I have literally never experienced would be in any way disregarded.
novelty_bone ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:48:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well... i think that phrase has become a shitty beg for "see it my way". A very, very shitty way of doing that.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:56:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Kenny__Loggins ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:14:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily what it means. It doesn't mean your demographic is incapable of understanding something. It just means that, due to being part of a demographic, you may not understand the experience of people outside that demographic.
I can gaurantee you that for every person saying "check your privelege", there's an asshole claiming that racism and sexism literally don't exist.
clintmccool ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:47:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would be astonished if the ratio is that good.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:17:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Kenny__Loggins ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:26:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, I don't think so. I mean, I suppose you can hamfist any phrase into being racist/sexist, but I don't think forcing someone to acknowledge they belong to a privileged group is either.
It is basically intended to counteract the bias that coats everyone's views to some extent and that is our inability to fully understand just how other people's life experiences differ from our own. Specifically, with regard to race or sex. I have a coworker who is black and my age, and things he experiences living in the same place I do are vastly different from anything I've ever experienced, for example.
Anyway, it's intended to be used to just understand that you sometimes can't really understand the problems different groups of people tend to have when you have lived your whole life looking at the world through a slightly differently tinted glass. It doesn't mean that you are illegible to comment and it is nothing to take offense to. It also doesn't mean you are overall a privileged person. Just that you belong to a group that typically has more privileges than other alternate groups you could have found yourself in.
Springheeljac ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:45:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think of the people who used it thought this then no one would mind the phrase.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well the thing is, I've never seen the term actually used in a conversation so I don't know what the people who use it think. Everytime I've seen it come up, it has been a meta debate or people mocking the term and deriding those who use it.
Like much of the online discussion around feminism, it's hard to tell if people have a legitimate complaint or if feminism is just so hated that it is being criticized at every turn.
Springheeljac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the problem is that we have people saying that the hateful people who are often called the "vocal minority" are all that we see. Given incidents like the College Union officer saying killallmen and getting nothing but support, some of the awful things feminists have said and done (promoting actual genocide, shooting someones dog for opening a men's shelter, pulling fire alarms at an MRA meeting about male suicide) it's not hard to see why feminism as a political ideology is losing ground. The thing is, it doesn't stand for or represent equal rights for women anymore. To more and more people every day it stands for hateful ivory tower academics who are dogmatically following a cult built around finding problems where there are none.
And it sucks, because there are actual problems that Feminism could be focusing on, and they're not. If you want to see what it's like dealing with feminism today look no further than a reply to my top comment that called me a rapist. That's what self identified feminists do now. I think it's time for a different movement that isn't steeped in "right-think".
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think all of those things are at the fault of a vocal minority. I mean, anyone I've spoken to online or otherwise has nothing but disdain for any of these acts. I don't know where these people are who support it and, if there are a sizable number of them, why they aren't encountered more often.
Springheeljac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well the fire alarm thing is becoming a regular occurrence apparently, it's happened several times. And third wave feminism has taken over from second wave equity feminism to the point where Christina Hoff Sommers regularly gets called an anti-feminist. A lot of these people are in college, either as students or faculty and you don't run into them much outside of that.
That being said, they still effect people's lives. I don't know if you know anything about Gamer Gate, but opposed to the running narrative the only group to have successfully run any women out of gaming are the antis who all identify as feminists.
Some of their big names, like Randi Harper, are serial harassers and generally just awful people. They actively condone doxxing people, sent one guy and his family syringes with...something...in them, have gotten people fired, gotten women thrown out of an expo for not agreeing with them, and have blamed Gamer Gate for things completely unrelated. Not to mention one of their worst accusations (bomb threat) was actually one of them, then of course some of them called in bomb threats in DC. All the while swearing they weren't trying to censor or get rid of games, which they've tried to do at every opportunity.
You want to see these people and why feminism has such a shit name right now? Look at the actions of the people who constantly represent it on social media.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:44:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:33:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you're right, as a white able bodied man i know EXACTLY how it's like to live life as a disabled black woman and anyone who assumes otherwise must be racist, sexist and ableist
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Kenny__Loggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:38:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that's exactly what privilege as a concept is not supposed to do. Checking your privilege means acknowledging that there are things you can't understand about someone's life experiences in the same way they can because you haven't lived them. It means not saying shit like "I worked hard from the time I was 16 and now I'm rich, so you can too".
novelty_bone ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:57:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and that is why it's shitty.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:15:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would ask them to check it for me b/c obviously I'm not aware of my privilege. This statement assumes that I should be aware and is therefore an insult.
Misaniovent ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:52:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow it's not their job to mansplain these things to you!!!
Grunherz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:17:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't make any sense. If it's used in an actual discussion and the person who says it actually knows what it means, then you'd only ever hear it if you didn't actually consider their perspective in the first place.
foot_kisser ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it were an actual discussion, where people are listening to each other and respect each other, the phrase "check your privilege" wouldn't get used because it's a condescending and belittling way of trying to shut someone up by saying their opinion is worthless. It also implies that any disagreement on the part of the person being silenced is only because they are racist, sexist, somethingist, or whateverphobic.
Grunherz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You obviously have never been is such a discussion and you also obviously have no idea what it actually means and how it's used. Just because some "look at teh tumblr feminazis lololol" thread on reddit makes you think you do doesn't mean you actually do. When's the last time you were in an actual discussion and can you elaborate how someone was being racist towards you by using this phrase?
foot_kisser ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been in a number of discussions, including a few heated ones, where both sides respected the other even when disagreeing.
If you think it gets used as anything other than a silencing tactic, you're free to give me an example. Find me an example of "check your privilege" being used in a way that is clearly not condescending or belittling, that doesn't have the goal or effect of shutting someone up, and that does not try to paint further disagreement as racist, sexist, homophobic, or whatever.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:32:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ofen_the_Green ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think i have ever heard someone say this in a non-joke fashion.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kenny__Loggins ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:15:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To answer your question, society. I don't think they take complaints though.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:15:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Numericaly7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's that supposed to mean?
TheFuckNameYouWant ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, what the fuck does that mean? Maybe I'm old, but I just don't get it and if some punk kid ever told me to "check my privilege" I'd have to escort them out of whatever establishment we're in and then never go back to that establishment since they let ultra-sensitive, over politically correct, play-the-victim type filthy kids in.
fubo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:42:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually really simple. It means "Don't assume that everyone has had the things that you consider ordinary opportunities for a decent life," or "Just because society has been fair to you in a particular way, doesn't mean that it is fair to everyone."
"Privilege" in this sense doesn't mean something that should be taken away from you (like in the nursery-school "TV is a privilege, not a right" sense). It means something that everyone should have, but that as a matter of fact, some people don't have ... yet that the people who do have it take it for granted.
thebloodofthematador ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this phrase just because it is such a thought-terminating cliche, and it does nothing to further what could potentially be a thoughtful discussion about societal inequality because it makes a person feel like they're being attacked for just being who they are, or having some thing they don't even understand.
I think the motive behind the phrase was originally sound-- for example, one could advise someone else to check their privilege if, say, I'm a white guy telling a black guy that I've never had a problem with the police, and I don't understand what all the fuss is about. The black guy is going to be like "well, of course not, you and I have completely different experiences with the police," and regardless of the black guy's actual lived experience as a black man in America, the white guy just keeps insisting that that just isn't how it is.
Now people either use it to be shitty brats, or to make fun of people trying to draw attention to divisions in society.
gears32 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:22:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah it's still there"
fruit17 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women angry since their perspective isn't respected because they are female.
Won't respect a man's perspective because they are male.
Makes sense
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:14:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Who cares that the NSA spies on us, I've got nothing to hide"
I-Circumcise ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 17:31:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pussy on the chainwax
Fishums1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:44:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please, tell me more about this.
Zemogray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man you just need to put the pussy on the chain wax
ParallelMrGamer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kay & Peele reference.
Fishums1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah.
Treeclimber3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:17:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
?
Zscore3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:02:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if this is actually something that pisses you off, or a comedic reference. Either way, nice.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:48:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Yourfavoriteindian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say noice
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Noice.
Yourfavoriteindian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:27:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow good sire you memed me have an upboat
aronbang ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:42:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fascism and communism is the same thing!
watermasta ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:31:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I didn't want to vaccinate my kid because I didn't want them to get autism."
Akihirohowlett ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:45:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Translation: "I'd rather risk my kid getting sick and dying, and spreading disease to others, than my kid be autistic because I think I know more about medicine than people whose job it is to know about medicine."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PANDARER BEAR
CurvesAhead_ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:00:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh I seen this really cool thing the other day." I'm sorry, you what? You saw this really cool thing. You SAW it.
scottevil110 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:34:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege"
How about we just have a discussion based on merit instead of the ironic assumptions that you make about me as a person.
SergeantDanTwitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I immediately disregard anyone who says this and anything they say.
Moosifer26 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:40:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't vaccinate my kids...."
thattianagirl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:42:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Vaccines cause autism"
NefariousNeezy ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:57:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, no, that's not correct. According to the bible..."
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 20:55:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mstibbs13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Historically accurate?
qi1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historicity_of_the_Bible
[deleted] ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 15:33:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's your occupation?"
"I'm an entrepreneur."
...
Hannyu ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 16:56:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually true for some people. They make a living starting up businesses and then selling them off.
iAmTheRealLange ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:42:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how Elon Musk got started. Created Zip2, sold it. Helped create PayPal, sold it. Created SpaceX and joined Tesla with the money he got from those past companies. It's a legitimate occupation if you can do it right.
o_oli ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:30:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thing is I bet when asked he just gave his current actual job title...like "ceo of paypal" or whatever.
Hannyu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:54:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats possible, I really don't know. Was just saying some people actually are trade entrepreneurs.
blaine64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you post this same thing 4 times using 3 different accounts?
Hannyu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:12:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. My phone may have tripped out and multi-posted. I've had it do that in the past, but I usually fry to catch them and delete the extras, sorry.
Staks ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:19:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer answering: '' I am in the "insert business here" business" and move on. Entrepreneur sounds pretentious unless you have at least a few successes under your belt imo.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You like money, too? We should hang out.
BaconSheikh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:19:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
read: Proprietor of something valued at absolutely nothing.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:04:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Arbonne sales rep.
gsr142 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:54:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Arbonne, amway, herbalife. All the same
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:21:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Well I was once an entrepeneur and describing your occupation can get complicated and awkward. I mean what do you say?
I remember thinking: Should I say "I'm a salesman"? "I'm a programmer"? "I'm a designer"? I mean I did all of those things, and yet if I said one or another, that would have been misleading.
I think people don't like when someone say this because it sounds like they're implying they're important and wealthy. But that's an idea that forms in the head of the listener, not necessarily the idea that is being conveyed.
ExcerptMusic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a lemonade stand
fetalasmuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that's how people view me as a freelancer. It just seems like a fancy way of saying "unemployed," even though I actually work.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man they're trying to start up a business. I do understand if it's a load of shit but if they're actually putting time and money into it I understand.
Scaraban ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The CEO of my company fucking loves using that, completely non-ironic. I mean he is, but the tone he uses when he says it makes me associate it in my mind with the type of person you mean.
Hannyu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually true for some people. They make a living starting up businesses and then selling them off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually true for some people. They make a living starting up businesses and then selling them off.
ThatGuyWhoEngineers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Translation: I start bad companies.
mini-actualsize ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Magic Mike anybody?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I take it you've never actually tried to start a company and raise VC.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually true for some people. They make a living starting up businesses and then selling them off.
nipplefaces ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"serial entrepreneur"
repeat- ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:44:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
That does not apply to literally anything in my life, nor will it ever. It doesn't even make sense.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:11:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It applied to some things. Break bones and the heal stronger, get through severe depression and you will be stronger emotionally. HIV on the other hand...
I think this phrase might apply for some things in life but you are right about the vast majority.
Zemogray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This should really only apply to saiyans.
Hanta3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll build character."
If by that you mean it will make me hate the world even more than I already do, then sure, why not.
notjoeyf ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:11:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't hate black people, I hate niggers." I'm not even black, but prepare to be on my shit list.
Satans__Secretary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're basically saying "I hate trashy people" in a racist tone.
Gallade475 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my dad , completely. He still calls brazil nuts "nigger toes".
ArkaStevey ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:41:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Wanna watch the new Adam Sandler film?'
Defiant_Tomato ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:40:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On accident" just winds me up so much, it doesn't even sound right when said.
JWallace96 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:45:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so quirky"
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:15:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege"
"Umm, actually... [passive-aggressive rebuttal]"
deamont ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:22:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WOH WOH YOU ARE TRIGGERING ME
nacmar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:07:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My chiropractor told me..."
callingshotgun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:48:44 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I help you?"
"I don't know. Can you?"
Sure! Let's start with that fucking attitude, buddy.
persianduck ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:49:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, I won't suck your dick just because you asked."
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:57:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that sentence...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll only suck your dick when you don't ask. Surprise dick sucking. You'll never see it coming."
Apellosine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but you will!
yuhutuh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With your corkscrew penis it won't matter if you're a Persian, domestic, or wild fowl people don't wanna suck that thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, fuck those people!
mycannonsing ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am so sorry for your
snaps that bitches neck
loss.
pleasedontkillmyvibe ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:04:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they use the word "gay" as a synonym of "stupid."
AGloriousDayForRain ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:51:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "literally" in literally every sentence
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
In my books, you can use it as much as you want as long as you are using it is the classical sense and not this informal bullshit definition. I will lose a lot of respect for you if you fuck this up.
AGloriousDayForRain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so hungry I could literally eat a mountain!"
"No you idiot. You cannot actually eat a mountain."
PsychoNerd92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's hyperbole. "Literally" just adds to the emphasis. You'd have to really be socially inept to think they were being serious. Or do you also get annoyed when someone says their luggage "weighs a ton?"
AGloriousDayForRain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The whole point of saying "literally" is to show that you can actually do it. Go look up the word "literally" and report back with an apology.
PsychoNerd92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the whole point of using "hyperbole" is to exaggerate in a way that's not meant to be taken seriously. A ton is a specific unit of measurement equal to 2,000 lbs but people also use it to refer to anything heavy as a form of exaggeration. The hyperbolic use of a word doesn't need to match it's dictionary definition. Also, while I disagree with putting the hyperbolic use of a word in the dictionary, it is there. So there's no reason for me to apologize.
AGloriousDayForRain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If you were to say "I'm so hungry that I could eat a mountain", then that would be a hyperbole. Saying "literally" in a sentence is not a hyperbole because it's meant to say that you actually can do that. It's not meant as an exaggeration.
Edit: Does the meaning of the word "hyperbole" hold more power than the meaning of the word "literally"? That is the question to ask. Unfortunately I don't have an answer.
mayheavensmile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://blog.dictionary.com/literally/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would be pissed if they said it, "literally weighs a ton."
BW_Bird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rob Lowe gets a free pass
Enzo_kabenzo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:24:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"communism only looks good on paper" ughh those people are so stupid
PatsAllDayBaby ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:50:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty late to this but the one that does it for me is when an adult walks into a room that is full of kids and they happened to all be on the phones and the adult HAS to fucking say, "look how many people are on their phones in this room! I remember back in my day we actually had to socialize with each other. Your generation has it so easy." While in the meantime they are on their phones just as often as any of us. Like look there is nothing to do right now, and I have a world of games, information, and entertainment in my pocket. And you are putting me down for using it. You just happened to fucking walk in when I pulled it out it's not like I've been staring at it all day. It's fucking ridiculous just get over the fact that kids have phones and we use them. If you were in our position you would do the exact same fucking thing.
97Chocoholic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back in their day it was newspapers. Before that: books. Even earlier was women with embroidery at home all alone. People have always been the same
[deleted] ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 15:08:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"bae"
You say this? Then fuck off.
kage_25 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:47:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i say it a lot :(
but then again in my language it means shit
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:48:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. I say 'shit' a lot.
So you speak Danish?
kage_25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yep
BeastlyAussie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What language is that out of curiosity
kage_25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
danish
bรฆ
ae = รฆ
idiosyncrassy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My shit caught me slippin
JuggernautV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well son, so are the people who use that word. Giant pieces of walkin' shit.
AoRaJohnJohn ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First of all, ae is not รฆ.
Second of all, who the fuck says bรฆ above the age of 5?
Reascr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:59:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say it jokingly with my friends, usually after we insult each other ("you're shit" "ily bae <3")
que_pedo_wey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is it even pronounced? Like "bay"?
iamaneviltaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you too, mostly because it used to be an urban colloquialism until corporations co-opted it to sell shit. Same thing they did in the 90s with phat, it totally destroyed a serviceable piece of American slang just to move some t-shirts.
LexiLucy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
UGH bae is the worst thing ever! I never even like calling my partners babe. Always thought it was weird that everyone has the same nickname for their bf/gf. Like, be a little more creative people.
grabberbottom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who catches you slippin'?
the-bid-d ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:57:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this, despise it since they're calling me poop in Danish
BALD-GUY-90-AMA ยท 413 points ยท Posted at 15:22:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Where's the outrage about this?!"
Idiots who don't understand people can be upset about multiple things
"Why is ___ ok, but not ____?"
I've seen several friends/family say this about Kaitlyn Jenner and Tim Tebow"
"All lives matter"
Yeah, no shit Sherlock. The fact that you can't understand why we even have to use the term "black lives matter" is fucked up.
LizjaimeS ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:14:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
get ready for people to give you shit for stating that all lives matter is stupid... dealt with this last week, so good luck haha
BALD-GUY-90-AMA ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:34:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've already gotten shit for it.
[deleted] ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 16:27:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Edit: From what I've heard in other users' responses, it seems like I really got the wrong impression from the BLM movement. I was hearing from a pretty vocal minority that didn't really reflect the true diversity of the group. I'm actually pretty happy to be wrong on this count.
Also, for the people who believe "all lives matter," axearm linked me to a very well-put post on the subject explaining the other side of that phrase.
In any case, I'm going to leave what I originally said here, because removing it would be confusing to people who come across this post in the future
ZebZ ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 17:44:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BLM is like Occupy. There's no leadership and nobody knows wtf they are doing, so nothing beneficial gets done. This leaves you with some people being exclusionary while others are fine with non-black support, and with a bunch of idiots charging Bernie Sanders at a rally tarnishing the whole movement.
Akihirohowlett ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:39:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Bernie thing pissed me off because he was active in the Civil Rights Movement in the '60s. He actually marched with MLK.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:02:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
PM_ME_YOUR_CAMPFIRE ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:18:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They also got a huge amount of negative press towards their movement, the whole of which they do not represent. I felt it was inappropriate for for them to do what they did, but apparently that makes me a racist, according to people on facebook.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:22:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It did get negative press and it was inappropriate, but I'm not sure they much cared. I suppose they figured that if they got a candidate to support racial equality seriously, the temporary hit to BLM was worth it.
SovietFishGun ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should listen to Malcom X sometime. He makes a good case against letting white people join movements for black people. It would be like a Frenchman joining the Viet Minh.
Treysef ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't Malcolm X eventually get over this once he left the Nation of Islam? I believe he started to work with civil rights leaders and dropped the separation of races stuff while still pushing for self-determination.
SovietFishGun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. He had worked with other civil rights leaders before, and allowed whites to donate to his new "Muslim Mosque inc." That he had started, but his ideology was still black nationalism.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So because they stand up to some white leaders who are racist, no white guys allowed?
SovietFishGun ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:31:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, correct. Part of the black community's problem right now is that it relies too heavily on a society that's majority white, and serves the culture of white people more than it does that of black people, because as we all know white people and black people have a separate and distinct culture. So lots of black movements do not allow white people due to that reason, since it would be ridiculous to try and have black people become self sufficient and stop relying so heavily on whites for jobs and income while allowing white people to participate in that movement. It would be silly.
So, saying this from the perspective of someone who happens to be white, white people should not be angry when they aren't allowed to join in on protests for black people.
Another example is perfectly shown in the the Gil-Scott Heron poem (I guess it could be called a poem) Comment #1. Which is about the so-called Rainbow Conspiracy where the Students for a Democratic Society worked with the Black Panthers and Young Lords. He is talking about the SDS, which is majority white.
"He is fighting for legalized smoke, or lower voting age
Less lip from his generation gap and fucking in the street
Where is my parallel to that?
All I want is a good home and a wife and a children
And some food to feed them every night"
So basically, white people have other things to worry about, and it's "rude" I guess you could say to join a movement that has nothing to do with you. If you care about black people in the United States and would like to see them do better, respect their wishes and don't be rude and question them when you have nothing to do with what they want.
brain_fuckler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of the reasons there's fear and mistrust of other races is the difference in culture and hostility by groups that would rather stay insulated from others. By advocating a more insular black community you're advocating a segregated future that will breed even more animosity between races. If you want a culture that has no conflict on the basis of race, integration would be a more peaceful and enriching solution for everyone involved. The reason MLK was so successful was because he preached that we were all brothers and sisters, not separate but equal groups that want nothing to do with each other. Everyone will question people who wish to separate themselves from the predominant culture.
SovietFishGun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
And there lies your issue. The predominant culture that subjugated theirs for hundreds of years.
We've had integration for more than 40 years now and blacks are still poor, living in ghettos, being discriminated against, and being shot by the police. Integration sure does seem like a success for the black community now doesn't it? How would you feel if another race were the ones who owned the businesses and controlled the government?
It's not necessarily on the basis of it being "another race" and that that's inherently bad, but it's that blacks have to rely on whites, as we're the ones that are in control of society. And unfortunately, unless there is a change in the way society and the economy is structured, it will still be a problem. And I'd be willing to show solidarity with any groups that are heading in that direction. So basically, changing the economy to be more inclusive and democratic would solve the issue, but it is my opinion that this would substantially help black people especially, as they would no longer rely on whites and would have just as much say in the way their lives go as whites. Black Pride and Black Nationalist groups have that idea in mind, although most of them don't exactly see it the exact same way I do, and many would like to have their own society, where I feel that integration would work in an optimal situation like the one I described.
Enantiomorphism ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:13:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But you can't say integration has failed since integration never really happened. Society is still incredibly segregated today, with like you're saying, many racial ghettos.
When you talk about society relying on whites, part of it (albeit not very much of it) is simply because whites make up the majority of the population, and the fact that government will exist to serve the majority will not change.
To me, cultural mixing, homogenization and acceptance are much more important that who or which race controls the government. The only way to truly solve the issues of minorities is for cultures and interests to mix and intermingle, creating something greater than themselves. That way the majority and minorities in the US can truly get along, no matter who is in power.
I do agree with the BLM and related movements, even if they don't see it this way, since at the end of the day, any movement that advocates for equality will at the end of the day, result in the same type of cultural mixing. I know that they really want a basic quality of life and to be treated like humans, and they deserve that whether or not their culture is distinct.
However, I do believe that cultural homogenization is good for everybody involved. The culture never dissappears, but instead extends much further than it ever could have, across a tapestry of shared humanity. A tapestry greater than that of shared ancestory, ethnicity, nationality or race. The culture no longer adds to the human experience of just a few, but to the experience of the many.
Lots42 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 10:42:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your bolded stuff is extremely racist.
supcaci ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:55:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gonna need sources for that. I know loads of white people who attend BLM actions, etc. Also, there's not really anyone who would be in a position to hand down such an edict for the entire movement, so I'm very curious where that impression is coming from.
revolverzanbolt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:19:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's probably people who heard about the Bernie Sanders thing without actually bothering to watch the video.
The protesters at that rally weren't protesting Bernie Sanders. They opened up their speech by saying they "welcomed" him to their city, and made zero comments about Bernie Sanders beyond that.
throwaway12121244 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:41:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no idea where you've gotten this information from...i've been a part of several black lives matter protests in DC/MD and people of all different backgrounds were very encouraged to join in.....what is not encouraged is having non-black people dominating a movement about treating black people fairly. for example, it's looked down upon if a bunch of white people start talking over black people at a BLM protest/demonstration, but of fucking course white people (and anyone) is invited to fight for the betterment of their fellow humans...the fight must center around black people, though. which shouldn't need to be emphasized, but here we are.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:36:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not exclusionary...It goes without saying that white lives matter, because white lives have mattered for so long that to say so is declaring the obvious. Black lives, on the other hand, have seemingly declined in value, particularly in the eyes of poor black communities with respect to the, generally, white police structure.
As such, "Black lives matter" isn't used to reduce the importance of other groups' lives, but to elevate black lives to the equal standing it should have, and seemingly hasn't had, for quite some time.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:44:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not talking about the "all lives matter" bullshit. I understand that the point of the movement is to show that blacks aren't treated as if they matter.
What I'm saying is that telling two-thirds of the population that they can't help your cause and join your protests and voice support is not a very good way to forward your movement. That is exclusionary, and very adversarial, which is, I think, one of the big reasons why so many people oppose it.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:44:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of which you'd be right if it were true. A very small, but vocal, group in the movement don't think non -blacks have no voice in the matter. That's not the majority of the movement at all. Most have the sense to realize it's a broad social discussion that needs to be had between all parties.
Don't let your confirmation bias let you think a handful of idiots are representative of the whole movement.
FiddyFo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:31:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How exactly do you defend this?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:35:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That one loud-mouthed racist doesn't speak for an entire group...
Even a handful of loud-mouthed racists don't speak for an entire group...
If that's the logic you want to go with, tho, the black guy that's coming to the cameraman's defense at the end is just as good a representation...
FiddyFo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see the group trying to do something to get away from that kind of attitude. Also, handful my ass it was the majority of them man.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:39:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont see white people doing anything to get away from their racist attitudes.
FiddyFo ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 18:20:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the old "White people rawr rawr" bullshit with no actual substantial statement made.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:40:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because everyone else needs to keep their crazies in check except white people right?
FiddyFo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, but you made it seem as if all white people are racist and aren't doing anything to stop it.
And if you're going to try to make the comparison between this and BLM and the racist sect of BLM just don't. It doesn't work.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:38:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At one small rally...
FiddyFo ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I had an organization and part of that organization was saying "all mexicans go to the back"
I sure as hell would come out and say no that's not okay. I haven't seen that at all though. Which sucks because I really do support the BLM movement but stuff like this is what harms it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:50:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you'd be right to say it's not okay, because it isn't.
But to label an entire movement as exclusionary, and in the process implying it's fundamentally racist because of that exclusion, simply due to a relative few belligerent people isn't okay, either.
FiddyFo ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 22:15:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never labeled the whole group that way. I labeled the people in the video that way. But I see your point. I just think that BLM should somehow put their foot down against hypocritical shit like that.
Whocaresalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think black lives matter. I think every life matters. Yet, as much as I agree that some police go to far, I would like to see this group spread their message in inner city neighborhoods where black people are killing each other wholesale for "disrespecting", over YouTube rap videos, for being on the wrong block at the wrong time, and on and on. And killing and/disabling children and any other unfortunate in the path of their bullets.
rawlingstones ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:31:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a white grandma in a sitcom?
Whocaresalot ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Are you an apologist, a blamer, or a victim? Is it out of touch to wonder why the loud voices don't address their own peers and children. Or is their behavior someone elses fault? There is no denial on my part that there is police brutality and profiling.I get it that the Black Lives Matter movement wishes to address that and I don't disagree. But why are there not strong voices getting the attention of gang members dying young by the thousands? And it's glorified. Where is the outcry?
Whocaresalot ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go to YouTube and search Dead Chicago Rappers 2015. Many were killed because they insulted a rival gang member. I live in a heavily gang populated neighborhood. I am not afraid that someone will shoot me intentionally, just possibly catching a stray. A 16 yo was shot to death at 2 pm recently. Right in front of an elementary school. 2 blocks away. But shit - don't stop and frisk. IT'S RACIST. When little white college boys and girls with made up sympathetic outrage start packing and shooting ,they will be profiled too.
lameskiana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a source for blm excluding whites?
axearm ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:19:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The silent 'too', the post below explains it much better than I could.
https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/3du1qm/eli5_why_is_it_so_controversial_when_someone_says/ct8pei1
A) That is lame B) the BLM movement has many opinions, and I don't think all members would claim that whites should be excluded. It's like saying Reddit thinks X. Some people on reddit do, and some don't, but even if it is a majority, it doesn't speak of all people.
Redbulldildo ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:58:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that's for me, the main reason I avoid any movement with a biased name, because some people are going to be pricks, and it's not worth figuring out which it is.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I think I gave the impression that I'm one of the "all lives matter" people. I'm not, I'm just annoyed that not only is a movement I agree with telling me I'm not allowed to agree with it because I'm white, but they're shooting themselves in the foot by saying so.
I know all BLM people aren't excluding white people, but it's enough of them that it's the impression they're giving to the public. Why should I voice support for them when it will get me criticism from both whites and blacks?
That is a good post though. I'm saving it for future reference.
Edit: Speak of the devil, a friend of mine just posted a "white lives matter" picture on facebook. His stuff has been getting gradually more racist, but I think this is one of the worst yet, next to that one about how police brutality doesn't exist.
Callyopi ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These are the same people who interrupted an event and refused to let Bernie Sanders give his speech, even though he's probably the only current presidential candidate that is actively trying to support them. They are so blinded by their anger, they are actually hiring their own cause instead of helping.
axearm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:03:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
All of them? Everyone in the BLM movement? Of course not, the fringe of the movement did that (if not people simply acting under the guise to create mischief), just like the fringe of the reddit community sent death thready to Ellen Pao, not in fact 'Reddit".
If you define a group by what some of the people do/say, it's easy to frame the entire group as negative.
Callyopi ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say all of them did it. However, my point still stands about the majority (not all) letting their anger dictate their actions. This goes for most protest groups.
axearm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I guess we disagree whether it is the minority vs majority.
It is my opinion that a vocal minority is often the group that cause the most problems and because of that, movements are generally defined by that minority.
Most of these 1% marches, etc. are exactly the same. 8,000 peaceful marchers, 50 anarchist and old fashion thieves hiding under the cover of civil disobedience, with a different agenda or motivation (ie propaganda by the deed).
This is the challenge of every movement and what makes the civil rights movement in the 60s so unusual. They were so effective at policing their own demonstrations and marches and ejecting those that would disrupt them with tactics they didn't approve of.
Naggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:07:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So tell me, what would be the point in them pulling this stunt at a Donald Trump rally? Any other candidate would've taken that as an opportunity for a joke and a remark about "the good ni--black people". Trump probably would've gone so far as to call them "uppity". His supporters would've been worse.
Instead, they tried it at a Sanders rally, where they hoped people would be receptive towards their message. And Sanders was. He listened and he responded to them. His supporters, unfortunately, had their white middle class sensibilities so bruised by these black people speaking out of turn that they were not as receptive as Sanders himself.
Liquidmentality ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:05:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you're being excluded from something because you're white, congratulations, you've been the target of racism.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not all BLM members are like this. It's very disorganized, so people like that are included, but there is no formal voice making demands. I wouldn't take anything anyone says in that movement as the opinion of the whole group. If you look at some people who are protesting as a part of the movement they welcome other races. Some dont. They need a leader.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people have been telling me that, and I think I might have just been hearing from the vocal minority that says "no white people." TBH I'm glad I was wrong on this count.
psiphre ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 17:03:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
stay in your lane, shitlord
E_DM_B ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always add a /s.
psiphre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah no doubt. goddamn.
Nadril ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:33:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking shit this annoys me so much. "So many people outraged over 1 lion, but XX Military personal commit suicide every day and no one cares!". That's an actual thing that was on my facebook.
It's like people are unable to understand the concept of discussing a recent event that has happened.
thegoodspiderman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was on a Facebook post about the fundraising special edition Cecil the Lion Beanie Baby, and there were NUMEROUS comments along the lines of "where's the beanie baby for all the abortions?? What about those babies?? Raise money for them!!" What.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:03:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everyone is upset Cecil the Lion but nobody cares about this person who died at the hands of police that wasn't covered by the media at all! Why?!"
This is the dipshittery that clouds my Facebook.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:14:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
slipshodcodex ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 20:29:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you believe that if someone commits a crime, their life no longer matters?
notsostandardtoaster ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:59:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the problem I've seen with people trying to justify people like Mike Brown's deaths. They keep saying "But he robbed a store!" as if robbing a store makes you deserving of death. People make bad decisions all the time, but IMO unless that decision involves taking the life or dignity of another individual, there is no excuse for punishing them so severely.
LackofOriginality ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:07:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He also assaulted a police officer and tried to grab the officer's weapon, but let's conveniently leave that part out.
Yeah, if you attack a police officer and put them in a position where they have a good chance of ending up dead, they're going to gun you down every time. That's how it goes.
gofukyamudah ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 00:32:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where's the proof that this ever happened? For a site obsessed with evidence, I always see this shit getting spouted with no source other than Darren Wilson.
LackofOriginality ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:14:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The autopsy that showed gunpowder residue on his fingers, maybe? Which doesn't happen unless your hand is on a gun? The blood splatter that was inside the squad car, which could only happen if Brown was next to or inside the car door/window. Not to mention, the photographs that show Officer Wilson was assaulted.
Whether you want to believe Officer Wilson or not, the evidence leans towards his story being true, and basing your skepticism on literally zero credible eyewitnesses is flat out ignorance.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have to have held a gun to get gunpowder on your fingers. You could, I don't know, be shot and get your body covered on the stuff.
LackofOriginality ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except gunshot residue only travels 3-5 feet, and that would mean that Brown was, you guessed it, right in Officer Wilson's face. You would only get residue on your hands if your hands are near a gun when it discharges.
You're being beyond willfully ignorant of what happened in Ferguson. To make excuses for Brown when all of the evidence points to him being a cop-assaulting, attempted cop-killing thief makes you, and the entire movement you're supporting, look fucking stupid.
There are plenty of people who are being targeted unfairly for the color of their skin, and those are the people you need to put in the limelight. Not this kid.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:01:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
LackofOriginality ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, what would he be doing near Wilson if the "other" testimony said he was nowhere near the car door? Do you have an alternate theory?
Because you addressed the point of "he was reaching for the cop's gun" with, "he didn't have to be near the gun, he was shot!" That is 100% an excuse for why there was gunshot residue on his hands.
You brought other victims of police violence and the BLM movement in a comment explicitly regarding Mike Brown and only Mike Brown. So, yeah, that's a safe assumption to make.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on how far away from the gun you are. And let's not forget all the other evidence presented
snufalufalgus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:13:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peep the ballistics expert everyone!
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:06:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
LackofOriginality ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is literally a comment thread about Michael Brown. I never once criticized the BLM movement or anything of the sort.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:23:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's racist!
/s
HaroldSax ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:04:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want it noted that I thought the Mike Brown shit was bad, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut I got aggravated as fuck when people say he did nothing wrong. He did do something wrong, he just didn't deserve to die over it.
Axwellington88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so assaulting a police officer and trying to take his gun might not be worthy of dying, shit man, i dont think having cancer means you deserve to die.. but the reality of the situation is that you WILL die if you do that shit.. if you fight a cop like that, you should expect to die, people should expect you to die. That is how it works.. Did he deserve to die? No.. No he didnt, most people dont deserve to die but they do anyway.. deserve is such a dumb word because it's subjective.. did I deserve to get fired? No, but i did, and the people who fired me thought so.. who cares what I deserve or not.. Did Mike Brown deserve to get shot? When you fight a cop, you kind of have to expect it. He was an idiot and died like an idiot. I am sure his mom thought he was the sweetest little boy but we are all sweet little children at one point in our life, and then you fight a cop and get your head blasted in. such is life.
showme_yourmoves ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:18:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No Michael Brown's life doesn't not matter because he robbed a store. His life was taken because he assaulted an officer and reached for his weapon and then was killed in self defense.
TurtleInADesert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:54:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the crime.
If said person rapes, or murders someone I believe their life doesn't matter. Might not be a popular opinion, but its my opinion
slipshodcodex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, thank you for clarifying. Edit: oh, wait, just realized you aren't the original commenter. :|
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:08:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
revolverzanbolt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:23:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except that guilty people are more likely to be killed if they're black...
revolverzanbolt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:21:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except that, statistically, a black person is more likely to be killed in suspection for the same crime, so yes, apparently the legal system does need to be told that BLACK lives matter.
Slashbonerslash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, this is not a black and white issue. ๐. If they don't understand, then educate them, that is the role of an activist which is exactly what the blacklivesmatter movement is or should be about. Sure if they don't understand it then they may be a little ignorant or naive, but if you can't accept that not all people have the same knowledge and experience as you do then you are also ignorant and naive.
TheParagon_MarvelUni ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 16:32:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The phrase "black lives matter" is racist. The context it is often used in, is not racist. But the phrase itself is.
EDIT: Why am I getting downvoted?
BALD-GUY-90-AMA ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:46:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is it racist?
TheParagon_MarvelUni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're selecting one race to matter. That's almost textbook.
revolverzanbolt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:31:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, where does it say "Only black lives matter"?
TheParagon_MarvelUni ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:34:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black lives are the only lives described/listed in the sentence/phrase.
revolverzanbolt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:58:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean like when I say "The Sky is Blue", what I'm actually saying is "Only the sky is blue"?
TheParagon_MarvelUni ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. You'd need context to understand your sentence.
The main way people would understand your sentence would be "earth's sky is blue" because that is the sky nearly everyone would think of.
revolverzanbolt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:07:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the context of "Black Lives Matter" is hundreds of years of discrimination against black lives, and a society in which you are more likely to be arrested and/or killed by the police for the same crime as a white person.
If I say "Jane car is blue", that doesn't mean I'm saying Jane's car is the only car which is blue. Likewise, when people say "Black Lives Matter", you'd have to be an astounding idiot to think anyone is claiming black lives are the only ones which matter.
TheParagon_MarvelUni ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:09:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I said, in my original comment, that the context of "black lives matter" makes it not racist.
revolverzanbolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But the original statement makes no comparison between black lives and other lives, so devoid of context your claim that it's racist is still wrong.
TheParagon_MarvelUni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It mentions a specific type of lives.
revolverzanbolt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:23:41 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And my statement about Jane's car mentions a specific type of car. If you remove all context from the statement, it's a statement of fact, not a comparison.
BALD-GUY-90-AMA ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:37:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what Black Lives Matter is about. It's protesting and trying to stop black peoples from being unfairly arrested, brutalized by police etc. It's essentially being anti-police brutality.
TheParagon_MarvelUni ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the context of the phrase.
awesomebob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:18:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meaning hinges on context. If you think a statement isn't racist given its context, then the statement just isn't racist.
Ketherah ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 17:49:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How about following the laws so the police don't bother you?
offeringofcrimson ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:33:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unnecessary force is the main problem. Extra-judicial execution for protest or a small crime is wholly despicable.
energylegz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:15:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've never broken the law? Not a single traffic violation, or underage drinking, or smoked a little pot?
BALD-GUY-90-AMA ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:58:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breaking the law doesn't justify being assaulted. Far too often police use unnecessary force.
revolverzanbolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black people are statistically more likely to be pulled over and "stop and frisked" and then let go without charge than white people, though.
eldeeder ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:48:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because if you started a pro white movement you might as well be the grand wizard of the KKK.
revolverzanbolt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:28:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah! It's like, everyone remembers Susan B. Anthony, but no one remembers my great great grandfather who was campaigning at the same time to stop having the vote taken away from men! Obvously, he did just as much as she did, so they should be treated equally! /s
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 16:59:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Cheef_queef ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:17:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you get black lives matter more out of that?
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 17:31:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
lumberjackshirt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:40:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just like "God bless America" comes off as meaning the person who said it hopes God doesn't bless any other country. /s
Enantiomorphism ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:17:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely disagree with falconVaulter, but I do think that if you ask the people that say "God bless America" whether God should bless iran or pakistan or north korea, or france, they'd say no.
psiphre ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 17:03:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
didn't you hear? there's a "too" implied at the end that makes it ok
Nadril ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:36:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're getting downvoted because you said something stupid.
Just because you are saying one thing matters does not automatically mean that it is the only thing that matters.
foot_kisser ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:06:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I downvoted you for saying that. If someone asks for an explanation of why people are downvoting them, "you're stupid" doesn't count.
revolverzanbolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why they followed it up with the actually explanation; that that person's interpretation contained an irrational assumption: that the statement was saying "only black lives matter".
Nadril ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You realize I followed that line up with an explanation, right?
TheParagon_MarvelUni ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 20:51:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, I'm getting downvoted because other people are stupid and don't understand the definition of racism.
notsostandardtoaster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:02:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a bunch of people are telling you you're wrong, you might want to take a step back and reconsider your views.
TheParagon_MarvelUni ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
10 or so isn't really "a bunch."
I can fairly safely assume they misread my comment or disagree with me.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:39:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it wasn't called "black lives matter," this wouldn't happen. The name implies that there's a large movement of people that don't care about other people that are black, when I think very few people feel that way.
revolverzanbolt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:27:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you think the statement is so common sense, can you explain why black people are more likely to be killed by police for the same crime?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:07:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep in mind it isn't the police saying all lives matter, it's just people. What you said has about nothing to do with what I said and idk what you're talking about when you say "If you think the statement is so common sense".
revolverzanbolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:03 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are the police not a "large group of people"?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:20:26 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yes the are, which still has little to nothing to do with what I'm saying. It is not the police saying "white lives matter" it's just regular people. What I'm saying has nothing to do with the fact that the movement is about police violence. Everything you are saying has had nothing to do with what I've said. You're even putting words in my mouth.
revolverzanbolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:32 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, since you don't want me "putting words in your mouth", I'll ask you instead: is your contention that the police do not care less for the well being of black people? Or is it that you do not think the police constitute a group that is larger than "very few people".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:15 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it is not, but I see what you're saying now. I communicated my point poorly. I meant to say that, from the perspective of a white person who is not a cop, BLM feels like it's aimed at everyone who is white instead of just police, when BLM is actually going after police afaik.
carlin_is_god ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:01:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is Tim Tebow having gender identity issues?
IrrelevantGeOff ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:35:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Even the poor in America are rich.'
I just want to punch these people when I hear that.
WombatBeans ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:05:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a taxpayer..." and "No offense, but..." Or if they ever even once bring up their tax dollars.
I've yet to meet anyone that has said either phrase that wasn't an asshole.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:07:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any time anyone prefaces their sentence with, "As a...".
"As a man,..."
"As a single mother,..."
"As someone with black friends,..."
"As a feminist,..."
I guarantee a miasma of self-serving bullshit will be spewed forth.
adreztia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This along with everyone on Reddit that prefaces their post with 'woman here', 'doctor here' or 'am guy/girl, can confirm' literally makes me cringe every time.
tr1lobyte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I hate it in the majority of contexts when it's used poorly, but sometimes the OP is asking for that information. I wouldn't say it makes me cringe every time.
adreztia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:06:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I'd rather it be phrased like 'I'm a woman/doctor/man' instead of 'blank here' and a lot of the time I see it the OP doesn't ask anything to do with their profession or gender.
SoManyQuestionsPorYu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a human being, I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO THIS.
Imperator_Knoedel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a redditor, I reply to this post.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:35:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase that brags about how poorly they treat their significant other and how they just take the abuse. There is a woman in work who does nothing but tell people how she shits on her husband constantly and despite him earning shit loads more than her she spends his money and he just sucks it up. I hate her with a passion. I would happily run her down in the car park if I thought I could get away with it.
The worst thing is, her man could probably do a hell of a lot better, she is fuck ugly, constantly pisses and moans and acts like she knows fucking everything.
If you are reading this J, go die in a fucking fire you horrible excuse for a human being.
Edited to remove first name in case I got Banhammered.
big_papa_pump ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:05:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hellz yeah! Redonkulous! Amazeballs!
ser_pounce7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:54:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"yolo"
Razumen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"yoyo"
Steve575 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:56:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't take me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:24:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I should see a psychiatrist, but I feel like murdering female teens (something about their pitch/tone) when they say "Oh my God".
uncoolkiller7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:40:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bobby Jindal is a good governor, therefore would be a good president."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can confirm that no one says that in Louisiana.
TeddyV ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:14:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"yolo" and "swag". Also people who use "halp" instead of "Help".
hugaw1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:10:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
kek
rolfisrolf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:12:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Haters gonna hate!"
spoonman_82 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:18:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God has a plan
Canuck117 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:08:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This triggers me.
SkullShapedCeiling ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:47:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
edit: spelling mistake. no one gives a shit, just fix your typo.
x0rms ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:04:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "lol" as a word, out loud.
daybreakx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:06:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I see a picture of your sisters feet and toes? I'll pay"
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:13:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, all I'm saying is..."
This phrase (at least in the American southeast) usually precedes some kind of idiotic personal opinion, or an outright lie. It's typically deployed at the end of an argument by the losing party in a last-ditch effort to make a point.
My mother is pretty much the master of this little trick. Heard this weekend:
"Well, all I'm saying is, my Aunt Rena wore high heels every day when she was young, and she ended up having both of her legs amputated."
Note: Aunt Rena developed Type-2 Diabetes 30 years after her fancy shoe wearin' days were over, and lost her legs as the direct result of refusing to cooperate with any of her doctors, or follow any kind of diet or medicine regime.
tb00n ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:05:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being called "friend" (or anything similar) by someone I've never met before.
Satans__Secretary ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:26:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling somebody "edgy" or joking about trigger words.
Also trying to pass off "this offends me" as being "triggered". No... just no.
raeded ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:08:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's just me, but I cannot stand when people toot their own horns on Facebook with "look how far I've come" and "I am SO proud of myself (for working at home, in my parents house, in a pyramid scheme)" and "look how great I am!!" -- come on people. Let others compliment you, not boast about yourself constantly. And on another note, whenever someone does a good deed such as helping the homeless, giving money, or whatever- but the only reason they do it is to post it on Facebook and Instagram to get some like. Ugh.
jumpinjahosafa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:05:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everyone is a little racist!" Fuck you, you are just justifying your own racism.
thedutchdonkey ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:04:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God works in mysterious ways
TheCondemnedProphet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:08:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I ain't done nothing" or "I don't know nothing." These are double negatives, and cancel the intended meaning. For example, in the first case, you just told me you have NOT done nothing, implying that you have, in fact, done SOMETHING. In the second case, you're saying you do NOT know nothing, which also implies that you must know SOMETHING.
SpaghettiRambo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:15:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you have a girlfriend, u/SpaghetiRambo?"
"No."
"You ever had a girlfriend before?"
"No."
"Why not?"
>Implying I can just walk down to Target or the thrift store and just buy a significant other. Or that I have any interest in doing so in the first place.
razfrostbeard ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:58:25 on August 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You got hacked lols XD."
Porcupineskullfuck ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:20:14 on August 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who take it upon themselves to publish their very biased opinion in huge paragraphs on Facebook.
handma1d ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:20:47 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My "xyz" is better than yours.
MoeLester99 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:47:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'd like to speak to your manager please..."
detecting_nuttiness ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:58:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm the only one who was happy to have a customer speak to my manager when I worked in retail. People were much more likely to take "no" for an answer when someone with presumed authority was telling them so. Of course, that didn't always happen, but it made the customer's problem my manager's problem, instead of mine.
jtl357 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if they're trying to get a job.
DownWithTheShip ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:57:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
followed by "I just wanted to let you know the <insert servers name> was an excellent server".
Yeah I hate that shit /s
mstibbs13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only time I have really ever used this was to compliment really good service by an employee.
workaccount42 ยท 481 points ยท Posted at 15:13:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing, because it's just a phrase. People say weird and stupid shit constantly, I can't spend my time hating someone because they mouth-derped.
[deleted] ยท 1451 points ยท Posted at 15:37:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got one.
"Mouth-derped".
[deleted] ยท 146 points ยท Posted at 15:52:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If derp is used in any conversation it gets hard to pay attention.
strongandweak ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 16:12:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fixed that for you
ratmon ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:17:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
F
dunaja ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:18:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A
Pannuba ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:46:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
R
Gigadweeb ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:00:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Q
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
U
band-man ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:01:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A
Redpike136 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:07:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
D
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
we did it
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Redpike136 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:33 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, I fucked up.
band-man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
D
chap-dawg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:50:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
D
Billdozer9000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
L
colonelgork ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:01:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
F
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
S
colonelgork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:21:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A
TVUpbm ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We did it, Reddit!
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
T
scarred_assassin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, what were we talking about?
thathipstergamer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Press x to pay respect.
Pickles_Binoculars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that hard.
F
waterbagel ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No it's really easy actually
F
Muffer-Nl ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Derp.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
F
babyLucifer413 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
F
Redbulldildo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word derp made my really awesome school trip extremely irritating. Kids who were raised not knowing how to control their voices were just shouting it out for literally no reason other than because they thought it was funny.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where did derp even come from? I don't remember it being a thing until like 3 years ago.
Avogadro101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha
Nomster247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that was the joke
PerodisCS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bro."
jdscarface ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 15:46:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you not do other things while hating something? That takes up all of your time and energy? Like, I hate child rapists but that's not an activity. I can spend all my time hating them.
GeneralJabroni ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:50:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OP's just holier than us. He doesn't hate people based on what they say, jeez what kind of neanderthal does that?
meatspun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Happens in every askreddit thread.
hchan1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:55:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know, right? As a mother, I find it pretty easy to multitask.
Enantiomorphism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but you'll find that even monsters are interesting people, and some are worth getting to know.
Brutalitarian ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not even worth 1% of your brain power to hate someone you have no relation to.
SkyrocketDelight ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:52:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL hating something consumes brain power...no wonder I'm always tired.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:12:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because child rapists are equal to people who say phrases you don't like.
jdscarface ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:06:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You missed the point of the example, it doesn't matter in the slightest that the two are nothing alike.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What does someone not wasting time hating people for saying something stupid have to do with child rapists then?
jdscarface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well the discussion happened yesterday but if you really still care I'll explain. I'm using child rapists because they are (I hope) universally hated by everyone. This highlights the fact that you can hate something while not spending time or effort on that thing. You don't sit in a corner all day hating child rapists.. You go about your day like normal, but the child rapist hate is always there.
It doesn't matter what example was used, I'm not comparing the two things. I was showing how hating takes no effort.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree, but I don't care enough to argue about it.
jdscarface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good talk.
Nate16 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:38:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the point isn't in a one time brain lapse, but more of an inveterate belief that said phrase embodies who they are?
TheyreEatingHer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:48:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
B-But this doesn't coincide with le Reddit's judgemental hivemind!
QueerandLoathinginTO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the quotation marks.
LordCranium ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:08:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you realise how much time i have on my hands to hate stupid shit.
SexyOAG ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:00:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I am a little anxious around people and when I meet someone new, I'm constantly thinking that I'm gonna say the sentence they hate the most and they're gonna hate me forever. It's horrible.
itsthematrixdood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is was what I wanted to say but couldn't put into words thank you. There are instant down points on certain phrases though.
carlin_is_god ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:55:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're just the coolest
godwings101 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:47:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine isn't a phrase, but people, who think that by going against the grain they are somehow better or cooler than everyone else.
Nashad ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:26:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
Usually said by someone who needs an excuse to constantly treat people like shit.
Ironfist506 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmmmm, Tinder at its finest!
"20 years young, xD"
kleptophobiac ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:41:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
StevetheLeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where did I come from then?
warpenguin55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
funny but rude as fuck
HellfireAgnostic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Homosexuals are a naturally occurring form of population control.
Jigglyandfullofjuice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:22:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not working, we need more gay people!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Great idea.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:14:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just ignore them. They believe that somehow there were 2 human beings and that lineage spawned every human on earth without severe genetic deficiencies. (Among other wacko shit).
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:35:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God 1st. Family 2nd. Friends 3rd."
The amount of time I've seen that phrase on Tinder, literally verbatim as is above... It makes me want to say "I can't even..." which then makes me even more angry for even thinking about saying it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, God's just trying to get some NSA fucking on the down low, okay? Now tits or GTFO! And no fatties!
TeleKenetek ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:38:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*I do Crossfit *I'm a vegan *I'm gluten free
Its not rhe first time I hear these that makes me hate you, its the 10th time in the first meeting.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:11:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TeleKenetek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend with the same issue, at least she only tells people when she needs to eat.
judolphphph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm one of those things and even I hate this. Not going to say which because it doesn't fucking matter and it also sort of sounds like I'm trying to say "shut up not all X are like that!!!!1!". None of those things are important for people to know unless you're doing something involving food or exercise
iamaneviltaco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In their defense, Crossfit is pretty goddamn effective. Could do without the evangelists, though.
TeleKenetek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the one who does Crossfit!
But yeah, it does seem to produce results.
RoosterClan ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:30:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a moment to talk about the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:38:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't debunk an entire religion and thousands of years of tradition without citing some sources there, bub. This is Redditโnot your angsty, grab-ass undergrad philosophy class.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username. Coincidentally I hate this phrase when other redditors use it.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:09:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can be a real bitch" followed by a chortle. Seriously? People are proud of this? It just makes me instantly want to avoid you.
Daisy_W ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Along with "I'm a brat."
svenniola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, thanks for warning me, have a nice life."
Would be my response to that "i can be a real bitch" chortle.
Orin87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a male counterpart that seems to enjoy being known as an asshole or dick.
rg44_at_the_office ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 16:06:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not even gay, but anyone who tries to argue that homosexuality is a sin makes me completely disregard all of their opinions.
Even if you're super religious, you should be able to understand that not all of the bible is the word of God, and that it is okay to question pieces of it. If you actually read the bible, you see that there is literally one line in the entire thing about homosexuality, which says "For a man to lie with a man as a man lies with a woman is an abomination."
This quote is literally on the same page that says "To each shellfish is an abomination." and it is only pages away from "You can take humans as slaves as long as they are from surrounding countries, but do not enslave your fellow Israelite." Any reasonable christian should be able to read this and decide that the entire book of Leviticus was probably not filled with the opinions of god, but that some homophobic slave owner asshole translator inserted his own words and claimed them as God's words a few thousand years ago.
And if you argue that homosexuality is a sin, it tells me that you have never stopped to ask yourself about the difference between right and wrong, moral and immoral. If you really consider this question, you start to realize that sins and immoral actions typically have one thing in common; they cause suffering of some sort to some other person. And I use the term 'suffering' very lightly here, because stealing, even if its only $1, is definitely wrong. And the only suffering that that causes is the person you stole from no longer having that dollar. But I will buy reddit gold if anyone can reply to this with a good example of how homosexuality causes suffering to anyone, because I haven't heard one yet.
So the people who argue that it is a sin have proven that they don't think for themselves. They have proven that they were too lazy to figure out what was right v wrong, and that they instead just blindly take this book and everything it says without question, which even a faithful religious person should know not to do.
lolwtfomgbbq7 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:58:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think your second and third paragraphs are a good response to Christians because a Christian absolutely does not believe that some asshole translator threw in a few of his own words into the Bible. Also, Paul denounces gay activity in the NT which is after the laws of Moses were replaced.
I think a better response to a Christian who hates gays is to point out Matthew 7:4-5 where Christ talks about fixing your own sins first before accusing others, or the story where those people all wanted to kill the adulteress lady and Jesus said "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Because the real message of Jesus is not to determine whether others are sinning or not, it's to love others unconditionally because you know that you received that love when you didn't deserve it.
rg44_at_the_office ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:10:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that it is not what most Christians believe, but I think that might be a bit of fear of questioning the bible rather than them actually believing that 2 men having sex is an immoral action. But questioning the bible is perfectly acceptable, and has been for thousands of years. A bunch of catholics decided that they didn't really believe in following the pope or fasting during lent, so they formed a new group and called themselves 'protestants'. And there are obviously hundreds of smaller divisions and sects within that. I think it should be more acceptable to question what is in it because after a bit of thinking, I believe that more Christians would be okay with tossing out Leviticus (among other books) rather than blindly accepting them.
And the one problem I have against pointing to Matthew 7:4-5 is that it is usually interpreted as "Love the sinner, hate the sin" which is still unacceptable because then people still keep the idea that homosexuals (and other forms of 'sinners') are doing something immoral, and they will try to be your friend while still trying to 'correct' your sinful behavior. In reality, the adulteress is a sinner. Cheating on someone is breaking a promise you made to stay true to them, cheating causes suffering. Homosexuality on the other hand is simply two people who are in love, having consensual sex. There is nothing remotely immoral about it.
I don't want to point to Matthew 7:4-5 because it still allows them to ignore the question of what makes an action right or wrong. People will still take other actions as wrong, without considering why.
1dominator1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:54:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What makes an action right or wrong is people's feelings about that action, and at least some of these people must really hate homosexuality. Sure this might be because they were taught to do so, but I am willing to be that a good 90% of most peoples moral feelings are a result of what they were taught as children and how they were raised. But I admire your attitude, appealing to people on their own moral grounds (in this case religious ones) is vastly more respectable then rejecting everything they believe and demanding they accept your views as cannon (as many people are prone to doing when confronted with religiously sourced beliefs they disagree with). It is nice to see reasonable people.
rg44_at_the_office ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess what I still dont get (and I'm hoping you'll try to explain it to me), is how can an action be immoral just because people think it is immoral? If an action doesn't hurt anyone or cause any kind of suffering, what could make it immoral? Either why would God give us these arbitrary rules, or what evil do they some how create in the world that we should avoid doing them; Rules about food, no tattoos, no premarital sex, or sex with birth control?
I don't think that anyone has the right 'not to be offended' so if the only thing that is sinful about an action is that is might offend or gross out some people who choose not to partake, I can't understand how it could be 'wrong'.
1dominator1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:57:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Since you asked so politely, lets make a go at it.
Well first off, lets try to think of some modern examples that might appeal to you, me or your average redditor. Consider our notions of privacy and consent, neither of these things inherently cause suffering. If I were to spy on you in secret or take pictures of you sleeping or bathing but never tell or show anyone no suffering is cause, but most people would still agree that it is wrong for me to do so. The very thought of the possibility that someone might be doing that would probably be enough to disturb many of them. Doing things to people without their consent (even if it doesn't cause suffering or even makes them happier in the long run) is generally considered immoral. To chose a lewd example, the notion of someone groping some poor unconscious person at a party, even if no one ever finds out about it is enough to send most people into a moral fit. But it is not the suffering they are outraged over (there would be none if no one ever knew about it) but the violation of consent, the perversity of it, the fact that it feels thoroughly and utterly wrong. Or imagine if I were to slip some drug into the drink of a person who was grieving a dead loved one and that drug made them stop feeling sad. Most people would be horrified at the thought, even though the sadness causes them terrible suffering and they gain nothing by it. The thought of taking a drug and having one's grief over the loss of a loved one cut short prematurely seems (at least to me) revolting.
I'm sure other examples can be thought of besides privacy or consent, but I hope the point is clear. It can be difficult (if not impossible) to justify even many of our modern 'morals' using purely the balance of joy and suffering.
The overall idea being that there are things most people (even reasonable, modern people) seem to value outside of joy and things they hate outside of suffering. Not everyone thinks that joy and pain dictate the purpose of life. There are entire systems of morality built around alternative concepts like freedom or autonomy, consent, truth, piety, tradition, equality, fairness or justice etc. The people who follow these systems feel as strongly about them as your or I do about our own and to an impartial observer there is no way to judge who of us is right except by looking at their own feelings and seeing which system is closer to them. Maybe you are not like this, and have no hangups about any of the things I mentioned in which case I'm not sure I can make you understand. But if you do have these 'hangups' look at them and imagine them applying to different things. Imagine how they might look to someone who did not have them, or had altogether different ones.
Why God would give a million different values to all the different people with no convincing way to differentiate between the lot of them I am sure I do not know. Then again I also do not know why the gravitational constant is 6.67384 ร 10-11 m3 kg-1 s-2 (thank you google) or why like charges repel, but I don't get hung up on any of that. Maybe its just best to play the hand you're dealt and not think too hard about what people should do or think. In any case I am sure that a thorough and reasonable sociological/anthropological/psychological explanation can be provided for how(given our circumstances) we have the morals we have and how our ancestors (given their circumstances) came to have all those seemingly arbitrary moral rules which seem so dated to us today. The explanation would probably play on the expected utility of these arbitrary values; showing that a society or person having them will on average be more successful than one that/who does not.
RealIceCream ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You and I should be friends.
Callyopi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:09:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like you
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
remarkedvial ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:07:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say this knowing it sounds condescending, but I honestly hope that someday you are able to change your mind and find a loving relationship.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel so sorry for you my friend.
rg44_at_the_office ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:20:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please understand that I am asking this question with sincerity, as it might come off as offensive, but I do not mean it to be, I am truly just curious and struggling to see this from your point of view;
Do you truly believe that God would punish you or would not forgive you simply for following the urges with which your body has been instilled, that would hurt nobody else and could even provide happiness in the world?
yaychickenz ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:50:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say [...]"
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:12:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
??
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"[...]"
themikeuno ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:34:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my heart of hearts...
evancalous ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:09:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."
Instantly lets me know I won't get along with them.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:22:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll have an expresso"
BGizzle7070 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:23:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you know who I am?" If you have to ask, you're not nearly as important as you think you are.
Zerozheaven ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:16:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bae"
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:26:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses "irregardless".
beauseant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could upvote you more than once.
xthebatman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:13:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"for reals"
These people must all burn.
OneHundredFiftyOne ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:25:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No single phrase from a person, known or unknown, will make me irreparably angry towards them. Maybe a full conversation, but certainly not just a single phrase.
JxJ0ker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Dank memes"
GioGImic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:05:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bae
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:05:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It can be said different ways but when a girl pretty much says "I know I'm a bitch but I don't care, I love being a bitch"
It's always said by a woman who thinks they're more attractive than they are
cutiebug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:44:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when someone discredits me based on age.
Lifting4Gainz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:44:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"I'm a strong, independent woman!"
Please, if you were really that strong, you wouldn't be declaring that shit. Strong people take action. They don't try to explain or justify their selves. Saying "I'm a strong, independent woman!" is validation and approval-seeking. Only weak people do this because they need other people's opinions to feel good about themselves. It's something a strong person would never do.
revolutioniscome ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:44:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No I will not have sex with you
Sacchryn ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:44:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't like to read."
Fox-Murder ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:45:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"[I/he/you] cannot be racist because [Im/are/is] gay/black/jew/female/christian/vegan/feminist/asian/whatever"
Yes you can, and you probably are.
LuckyNumbrXIII ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:46:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any time someone even remotely implies that thinking happy thoughts is the cure for depression.
tiarawhy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check your privilege.
Greenershirt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:55:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Evolution is just a theory"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:03:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I believe that vaccines cause autism"
dinkleton ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:07:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'"Everything happens for a reason" or, alternately, "God has a plan for everyone". No it doesn't, and no he doesn't. Take charge of your life, instead of assuming something greater is going to take care of it in the long run.
Jass1995 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. So this.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:26:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like, Like, and Like It's Like, you know kinda like the thing that i like, like that.
SideShow222 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
+1 Like
stuie382 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:41:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't eat food with chemicals in it"
I know what the intent of the message means, but it should be expressed in a less stupid way
Clinicalyabrasiv ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:42:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe When He Gets Older" my mom said this to my dad whenever i had a political debate with her then leaves the room smiling. I feel like this is her method of giving up.
GentIemanBastard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:10:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh that is so condescending.
OodlesOfPoon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:43:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason." or "It's all part of God's plan." after a major tragedy. How about you go fuck yourself?
AlmostEasy89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's because I prayed for it". Yes God didn't interfere in the holocaust or stop Genghis Khan or the bubonic plague but he metaphysically altered the questions on the exam so you could pass the class and get a lucrative job. So did he take away questions from others that would have been right so you could have ones that specifically are related to what you actually studied. Did he increases your memory retention? Maybe instead of talking to fictional characters in your head you should be studying the material, I'm willing to be that may be a bit more effective.
technogeist ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:57:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's especially bad when it's "Everyone please pray and help this poor girl with cancer" like you see on Facebook all the time, NO, how about you stop sitting clasping your hands together talking to yourself and actually DO SOMETHING you fucking asshole, send her a letter in the hospital, visit her, cure fucking cancer, something, anything.
AlmostEasy89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's maddening. Makes me realize how stupid we are and how brilliant we are as a species simultaneously. We have geniuses living alongside Neanderthals who speak the same language and own the same technology and have the same voting rights, which they should, but damn that's scary.
Pixelator0 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:45:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Political correctness is the new censorship." or something like that. There's saying hurtful things in hurtful ways, and then there's being able to laugh at ourselves or have a candid conversation. Usually the kind of people that say the above fall into the first category. I'm Bi; gay jokes, if not just plain hateful, are pretty funny. But if I think of you as an asshat (and let you know how I feel) because you felt the need to make a "joke" about gay people raping everyone, that's not censorship, and I'm not overreacting.
sarahnwrap ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:45:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"I'm not like other girls" / "I'm only friends with guys~~~~~"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:47:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't tip"
theodric ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:47:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'BITCH ON BOARD' signs hung in cars. Because by all means, be proud of being an unpleasant person. Really own it. Make that your identity.
OodlesOfPoon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:50:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people bitch to the cashiers about how high the prices are at movie theatres.
They didn't make the fucking prices, asshole.
Yakistonia ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:54:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not gonna lie." Well, for fucks sake I hope not considering your about to give me your opinion
HobackNation ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:54:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who decides to call me "boss" I am immediately skeptical of. I feel that "bud" is in the same category, though it's so often used I'm trying to warm up to it so I don't hate too many people.
Pussy_Diaper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:54:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Star Wars fan, not a Star Trek fan. Or vice versa. You can't be both?
schroedizzle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I told a girl I liked rock music then about two weeks later she said she was going to a concert. I asked who it was and she said it was some chill music and that I wouldn't like it because I like rock music. Bitch, I can only like one type of music? The fuck?
Also, your username is going to become a standard insult in my lexicon.
Pussy_Diaper ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:06:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
she'll come to her senses eventually. Or maybe not. It could be worse, she could have been going to see country music.
Fishy_fish_fish ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:57:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't want to sound like a bitch, but..... (Bitchy comment)"
unfallenrain20 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:59:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"go get a real job" when referring to people who work from home and do seemingly "easy" things on the computer.
yesimfluffy99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. This. Omfg. I work from home with some travel, but some of my acquaintances will make comments like this. While they work at a Fucking hotel or Starbucks. It took me two degrees and almost a decade of experience to be able to go to work without showering. Plus, my job is harder than they could imagine. (I know there are harder jobs. But pouring coffee isn't one of them) I earned this!
unfallenrain20 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:51:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes most computer jobs take immense skill and knowledge.
mouth_with_a_merc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:01:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist/a nazi, but..."
Yes you are.
Silveralien81 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:02:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO. Always followed (or preceded) by something incredibly stupid. You only die once too, jackass. Unless you're Hindu.
marcinsz89 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:02:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO xD"
Throwawaymyheart01 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:03:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother" gets me.
Also the people who say they "don't care" if they offend people. Don't fucking lie, you live for that shit, and usually the people who say that are the quickest to be offended too.
Tale-Chaser ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:05:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm proud to be a bitch/asshole, you can't take my honesty, bluntness, etc." Fuck off, there is a difference between honesty and deliberately treating somebody like shit. I've known other honest people who were the nicest and most respectful. Usually, the moral stance of honesty goes in hand with the moral stance of being a human being to somebody. You are just trying to excuse yourself.
Yourponydied ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:07:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ain't
Also people who have stupid fb names like BrianGettinThatMoneyJohnson
VampireSurgeon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:10:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wouldn't you get BORED?" "No, you'd definitely want to do something.." "How could you stand to have your husband support you?"
Fuck other teenage girls that don't support me being a housewife one day.
Honestly I don't want to have a job. The only thing I'm passionate enough to do, willing to do as a legit career, is general surgery. I'm so passionate that I was invited to Envision's National Youth Leadership Forum and attended from late June to early July. While I was there, I met other teenagers interested in medicine. Some were mildly interested and were probably going to have totally different career path, others were as dedicated as me and had their heart sets on medicine.
While I was talking to some of the other teenagers attending near the end of the program, I mentioned that if I was unable to be a general surgeon, that I would instead pursue the life of a house wife. I proceeded to get negative, unsupportive reactions from the girls sitting at the same table as me. They started to talk amongst each other and even sounded passive aggressive angry with me. The one boy sitting with us was just genuinely astonished because he had never heard a girl say such a thing before.
Even if I do end up as a general surgeon, I'm probably going to leave work for a few years after I have children. During that time I will likely house wife, and if I ever run into any of those girls again as an adult woman, I will smear it in their faces.
I will also have a broad selection of cute aprons from Etsy.
yesimfluffy99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice! Make your own choices. The original goal of feminism was equality, including the right to choose the lifestyle of a housewife if that was what the woman wanted. So they obviously missed the memo and only caught onto the feminazi version. You go do what you want to do, and let them be envious. Whether it's because of your awesome surgery or awesome apron collection is irrelevant. High five!
VampireSurgeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:54:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:15:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You can do anything you put you mind to."
This and other general special snowflake shit. That's not how it works, you can't just become a genius, you can't just become a world champion, you can't just become a millionaire, you can't just become an astronaut. Lack of confidence is not what holds you back, it's lack of actual skill.
senoravery ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:15:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"oh thats interesting" oh so you didnt listen to anything i said?
iforgottotakemymeds ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:19:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I tell someone they might hurt someone by doing what they are doing and they say, "SO!?"
I'm a highly sensitive person, so when someone says that, even if it's not about me, it hurts. Why wouldn't they care? Other people matter.
Edit: And I mean the really immature things. I understand that there are things that are for the best that will hurt others, but even just the react to it like that with so much disregard... It's rude.
jusdeknowledge ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:26:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate small talk. Talk to me about life and travel and galaxies..."
Pardon me, Weinercat, how can you talk to a person about life and galaxies and "deep" shit like that without having first small talked with them to meet and connect with them? How can you stay friends with someone to talk about galaxies if you both don't know what's happening in each others lives, but you only talk about galaxies? And just HOW MUCH is their to say about galaxies!!? Unless you're an astronomer, you're conversations are going to be very limited.
"This is my friend Jeff, we talk about galaxies."
"Oh, cool! Where's he from?"
"Dunno."
"Where does he go to school?"
"No idea."
"How'd you meet?"
"Galaxies"
drakedavis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:30:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everyone is racist"
all i hear is "We're both racist right?" and the answer is no
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:34:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less'
scopeless ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:42:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't like water."
Thejaybomb ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:44:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Living the dream
suchabettermood ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:48:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
I'm never able to tell the two apart.
remedialrob ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:56:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless.
I don't care if they started putting it in the dictionary. I don't care if it's been around since the late 1700's. Wrong is wrong.
"I could care less" is even worse. Use this and I will believe ANY bad thing I hear about you as you have already proven to be a monster.
rasapastasalad ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:57:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Praise the lord for the reason you have succeeded was because of him"
BITCH, I PUT EFFORT TO GET WHERE I WAS
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:27:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
stay-at-home mom. Hi,nice to meet you. I'm a go-to-work uncle. Shoot you an email. Cray cray. Leverage as a verb. Any corporate slang or stupid pop culture sayings.
buckw1lde ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:04:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On Reddit since x date. Username checks out.
Jathom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:05:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost anything from a Vine.
They're rarely clever and even more rarely funny. Repeating them over and over just makes me think you have a brain disorder.
whiskeybrick ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:27:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bruh
BenRaeWard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:31:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a man's drink! This is a mans drink.
(Or something similar)
I work in a pub.
Ryan0101 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:35:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
Fuck people who say this. It's as if I need to deal with your bullshit just so I can have you treat me like a decent human being.
Jebedebah ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:51:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:18:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I only eat organic and I'm anti gmo because gmos are bad".
If only people like this would research the sources for these bullshit articles on gmos being bad, or if the article that swayed their opinion even has sources, they'd learn they're reading bullshit! Seriously. Find me one legit study that's highly accepted in the scientific community stating gmos are unhealthy for human consumption. Because you can't.
WCFuuuusista ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:38:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Riddle me why other countries have banned GMOs.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:05:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is the age of consent in Japan 14? Should we follow their practices because it's legal?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Tell me this... Without gmos, a billion people would starve and organic farming would lead to us cutting down millions of acres to try and feed the world that way. Organic leaves a bigger ecological footprint, and would lead to an increase in pesticides. Gmos are more environemtally friendly, identical in nutrients if not better, reduces need for pesticides because scientists can turn genes on to activate proteins in the food that kill pests, and have a larger yield while also costing a 1/3 of the price compared to organic farming to grow. Most farmers use Monsanto seeds not because they have to, but because they're better than organic seeds. Natural is better? Well a wooden canoe didnt get us to the moon. And maybe you should research the papaya. Or maybe YSK that there is no strain of corn on this planet that isn't genetically modified? We've been genetically modifying since the dawn of civilization.
edit: "There is broad scientific consensus that food on the market derived from GM crops poses no greater risk than conventional food. No reports of ill effects have been proven in the human population from ingesting GM food".
Straight from the wikipedia article with sources to support claims of the wikipedia article https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetically_modified_organism
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:04:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's a gimmick that sells. Tell me why other countries ban guns?
Knightfair ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:42:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" No Pain, No Gain" I cant express the hatred i have for that phrase.
Also as a little extra, when people say "thanks God" instead of "thank God". Does give me a little chuckle though.
Gannicius ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:51:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
after rearranging/cleaning something It was making my OCD go off'
wubalubdub ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:13:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats BAE This is BAE You're my BAE
Fuck you shut the fuck up
GAsweet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:15:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"may I see your licence and registration" ... Instant dislike
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:34:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Spag Bol" instead of spaghetti bolognaise.
Frontfart ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:59:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything about God.
Pizzagirl1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:18:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when people tell me to smile.
Especially at work. I smile at every jackass who walks in the door. When an issue or difficult customer comes in, I'm the one who handles it. I work in a position two promotions below my skills. I get paid less than call center workers. I do the tasked expected three levels up and I never complain about it. When new people start, someone always pulls them aside and tells them "there's 3 rules for getting on with pizzagirl: do your job right the first time, don't mispronounce her name, and never ever ask her to smile".
Outside of work? I just look that dude (because it's always a dude) in the face and tell em "if I saw something worth smiling at I would"
FallenAngelII ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:21:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who writes a vague status update on Facebook making it clear they are sad/distraught/angry, but without providing any details. And if you (that's the general you, I don't) ask them what's wrong, they refuse to tell you 'til you've had to beg and wheedle them for 5 or so posts.
Warmnewbones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:29:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want a haircut with three layers.
I'm a hair stylist and that is not how it works. I can't give you three layers. That would look horrible and consist of me cutting shells into your hair.
_Walt_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:34:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bro, or bruh. Anything that these words taint instantly loses all meaning to me IRL. Period.
Tylersaurousrex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:40:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm pro-life" or "the damn government can't take muh gunz away"
Marz64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as beliefs are well thought out and seriously considered, it is extremely immature and unfair to hate some one for thoroughly considered ideas. It's liberals like you who destroy intellectual freedom on college campuses, and act as a serious impetus against reaching both consensus and truth. And this shouldn't matter, but I'm for increased gun control, and tentatively pro-choice (I need to study this issue more extensively).
Tylersaurousrex ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:16:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most men and women who are pro-choice don't think it out. They care about the cells inside the woman and when it's born, poof, they disappear. "What about babies from rape or incest?" "Oh just put them up for adoption!" "Well, what about the hundreds of thousands of kids up for adoption? Why add more?" "Well, abortion is just wrong that's a baby you're killing!" Most of them just don't give a fuck about the child after birth or the woman having the baby. A lot of them want to take away a woman's choices concerning their bodies.
Marz64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's true of pretty much every side of every issue. If someone tells me they're for an increase in the minimum wage, should I hate them because they don't understand that it's a tyranny of the majority, acts as a regressive tax against the very people it's trying to help while giving middle class kids a better summer job, would send approximately 500,000 people in to unemployment (average prediction of all economists, see Chicago survey), and even if all the previous things weren't true, is still less efficient than an earned income tax credit??? I bring up the minimum wage here, not because I want to argue about it now, but to demonstrate that most people do not have well thought ideas on pretty much anything. I do not hate people who can not respond to the above arguments, I teach them. I encourage you to do the same.
algernonishbee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:49:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"I can't...", "It won't work".
"That's just the way it is".
God hearing those few simple words, which so easily excuse a person from doing something to change their circumstances. I can feel the fire.
annoyingstranger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't have children >.<
algernonishbee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:56:31 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Says who? Your ovaries or your testicles?
Fuck both those guys, you can always adopt.
Sombomombo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:59:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"hashtag___________" Every addition of this strung together gets exponentially worse.
Senuf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:13:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All X are Y."
Replace X with (in no special order):
Jews
Catholics
Muslims
Chinese
Koreans
Bolivians
Chileans
Yankees (that'd be US citizens)
Blacks
Whites
Men
Women
Old people
Young people
Supporters of this or that political party or group.
Replace Y with (in no special order):
Lazy
Thieves
Paedophiles
Chauvinist
Sexist
Greedy
Cheap
Dirty
Irresponsible
Criminals
Bad drivers
Terrorists
Expansionists
Too self-centered and
Close minded
annoyingstranger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But there's good science backing the idea that old people tend to be more closed-minded...
Senuf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. All scientists are... er... Oh.
WhatWouldJesusPoo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:14:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's their choice to be gay.
Untraceablez ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:01:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Yes, and you made the choice to be ignorant. Oh wait, that IS true.'
That's usually what I respond with. Pisses people off so much, and its fantastic.
kodiakmagnm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:26:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams. But it only irritates me if said sincerely.
Tronologic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:32:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I seen it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:15:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I'm not racist/homophobic but....'
This statement is usually followed by something that would make Hitler/Donald Trump blush. Well maybe not Trump.
'Speaking as a parent' Yeah you got fucked by someone and didn't wrap up how does this validate your opinion? (I am a parent, and this one pisses me off the most)
'Oh I love a bit of cheeky banter' Just fuck off.
noshoes-noworries ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:13:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but...."
HS1120 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:43:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who taunts me with that damn "T-t-today junior" shit.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:35:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The classic religious person's pullout line of, "I think there's someone who wants to talk to you."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:29:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything derogatory to another person or making fun of someone for something they can't control
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:05:46 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a business major"
Clinicalyabrasiv ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:16:35 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I Don't Like X" Whenever i mention something to my friends like Friend:Where did you go?. Me:i Was getting some {Food Name}. Friend:I Don't Like {Food Name} i wasn't asking for you're Opinion. Thanks for making me feel bad.
sammielle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:15:35 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people put on Facebook in there job description - Full time Mummy....
Being a full time mum is not an occupation it was a lifestyle choice you volunteered to do, do not tell me that because your a full time mum you class that as your "job".
And for those of you who will surely say "but being a mum is a full time job!" yes i understand this but my mum and many other mums out there work full time "real" jobs and still have three children!
afrobuck9095 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:08:14 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'what's crackalackin'
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:03:49 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone calls himself, or others a "rude lude crude dude" or others boss, or chief, or any of that bullshit. Blegh
RasputinsAssassins ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:52:32 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who refer to their driver's license in the plural, as in:
"My license is expired. I have to go get them renewed!".
STFU, idiot.
nzmistress ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:17:52 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends went through a phase of saying oh em gee. It drove me mad.
Thankfully the phase was short lived, though it was sadly replaced with BOOM.
nastyneeick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:12:06 on August 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well that's just your opinion"
FreedomEagle1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:03:54 on August 26, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When my family says "The people you talk to online aren't real friends."
I love gaming and have made some amazing friends online. I have almost no friends that are not from online because most people i know or that go to my school are cunts
harry_nash ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 14:54:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sipping on white tears
SergeantDanTwitch ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not really crying over anything their so called movement has done. Pretty sure I don't give a shit about their 'plight' and just want to play video games with my friends.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:41:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Hampiiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry but english are'nt that hard too speak... /s
warpenguin55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
still better than speak american
JuggernautV2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:21:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Og europe
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:20:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Currently, "america is overly politically correct."
While I agree a tad, it seems many...I'm looking at you trump...are using it to justify being an asshole
Akihirohowlett ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:42:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While political correctness is getting out of hand, the example you're using about Trump is spot on. That's just a cop out.
SergeantDanTwitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A good way to put it is that he has a complete lack of any tact while bumble-fucking his way into an actual issue.
barronflux ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:04:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"this is awkward" people use that word so fucking freely now that it's dumb as fuck. not to mention they are only making themselves feel awkward, just don't say it...
ireter294 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People tend to say this during a quiet moment in a conversation and it annoys me. A quiet moment is just how sometimes there's a transition to another topic
barronflux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
exactly, i don't know who blew this phrase up but it pisses me off, I just laugh it off but I really do hate it
ireter294 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:00:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend who used to say "It's only awkward if someone make it awkward" and while i don't necessarily agree that that is 100% true all the time I think it is true most of the time.
barronflux ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:03:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
honestly the only thing that would make things awkward like the real definition of awkward is if something that WOULD NEVER happen happened like say if your clothes disappeared out of nowhere haha and even at that I would laugh my ass off it would not even be close to awkward. Nothing is awkward to me
Ayce22 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:06:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
isisishtar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That that is is that that is not is not."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Second time I've seen this on here. Why do people hate this phrase so much?
Ayce22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it wasn't what it was, then it wouldn't be what it is.
Sammiesam123988 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because its a bullshit way of saying, well I know shit sucks but I'm too lazy to change it so I'll just ignore it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've only ever heard it as meaning "it's unfortunate, but there's nothing we can do about it so we're just going to have to deal with it/work around it".
Sammiesam123988 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, I've heard it that way and it doesn't bother me, but I hear it far more often as an excuse to not do something.
wendy125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only people who have nothing to say, say it.
Maria-Stryker ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:16:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We shouldn't raise the minimum wage. Low wage workers should just get better jobs or get a degree."
I can guarantee you that every minimum wage worker who has the dedication to fight for better pay would gladly give up an arm and a leg for a degree or a better job, but they don't have the time for school because they're supporting someone and/or keeping themselves off the street by working countless hours since they're paid so little and weren't fortunate enough to be born into a family that could afford to pay for a higher education. Or in some cases, they're already paying for a family member's higher education in the hopes that said family member doesn't have to do what they're doing.
myrpou ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:59:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I ask you a question?"
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:52:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That TRULY makes you dislike someone strongly?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:24:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, when my bossman looks busy but might not be, I tend to be considerate and say, "Hey [bossman] do you have time for a question?" different words, same meaning, but sometimes he's too busy and sometimes he's not. there are times when you should use this phrase.
hellofromsc ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:14:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just did.
Suuperdad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure what is it?
Frostywood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's better than "can I axe you a question" or when people say hospikle instead of hospital
wulfguitar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:28:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Warsh the dishes"
Ranzjuergen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes. Bye."
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:44:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but only one. Now you're all out.
LittleClitoris ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:03:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Donald Trump for president"
Makes me automatically think you are a fucking moron.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Trump for Republican nominee, so Bernie has an easier job.
Soldier4Christ82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I mean, think about it; who better than a greedy old shyster to be the figurehead for a country that is owned by corporations?
LittleClitoris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have a good point there.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:43:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
amongtheviolets ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's good. It annoys me when some people act like they are smarter just for having gone to college. College provides many great opportunities to learn different things, but it doesn't make you actually more intelligent. There are plenty of smart people who did not go to college for whatever reason, and I have met plenty of really stupid people who did go.
It's also the same with "class" and "sophistication": I think people mistakenly equate these with wealth and opportunity. However, truly classy people are those who respect themselves and others and conduct themselves with good manners. Sophisticated people are those who are open-minded and open to the world around them. These qualities have nothing to do with how much money you have, where you were raised, or your social status.
Warpato ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With a good education you could answer those questions ;p
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:03:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody that says "like" more than three times in one sentence.
ThoughtNinja ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend has been guilty of this ever since we starting hanging out way back in 2001. I've called him on it countless times over the years and he would just brush it off and say whatever man.
Flash forward to a month ago we were messing around with a podcast idea and recorded a few eps to try it out. As I was playing them back for us to listen to he got an odd look on his face and said "Wow I say like way too much." I replied "Well no fucking shit. I've been telling you this forever."
He hasn't stopped yet....
wENTtobuyweed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, like what if, like you, like had a kid that would, like, uh, say like a lot?
VAPossum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like it when people like the things I like.
We now must engage in combat
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I said more than three times in a sentence. :P
VAPossum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like, I like it when people like the things I like, y'know?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHAOkDamRzU
SprehdTehWerdEDM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "literally"... bonus points for pronouncing it "lerily".
ttothesecond ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 15:31:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I find that offensive"
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:23:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think thats ok oddly, at least they are honest. Its when they say something like "You shouldn't say that because its offensive to [insert sugroup here]".
9/10 times said person is not part of said subgroup, has limited contact with said subgroup but feels that they can speak for them and decide what is offensive to them and what isn't. Despite said subgroup being perfectly capable of saying if they find it offensive or not :/
THATS when I dislike a person
JuggernautV2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:22:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im like 1/128 german and i think nazi jokes are offensive
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:29:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, don't blame me you couldn't stop the drive with your weak ass D.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:15:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Admittedly, that's a more diplomatic response than saying "What a dick thing to say" or "Wow, you're an asshole." At least they're putting the problem on themselves and not you.
novelty_bone ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:49:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
proper response is "I'm sorry you feel that way."
PM_ME_MAMMARIES ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:30:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always said "good for you" or "that sounds like a you problem"
SPICY_BUTT_MILK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorite jimmie rustlers.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I find the fact that you find that offensive offensive!"
An alternative: "I'm sorry to hear that. However I didn't say anything disrespectful or inappropriate. I'm afraid that it's your problem if you're offended."
thebloodofthematador ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:48:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, depending on what you said, that just makes you sound like the king of the assholes. Whether you find something to be disrespectful or inappropriate doesn't necessarily matter, if the person you said it to felt disrespected by it. There are plenty of people who will say really rude stuff and then just claim "it's the truth" or "an opinion can't be wrong!"
Ryanmjesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't see the problem in just saying, "I'm sorry for offending, wasn't my intention." I feel that people just kind of want that last leg in whatever argument by saying, "I'm sorry that offended you." or "I'm sorry you feel that way." That's essentially a sarcastic apology. At least from hearing it myself anyways.
Squirrel009 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally triggers me
Afflicted_One ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:55:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're triggering me.
Astartes505 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To which I usually reply, "You have just as much of a right to be offended as I do to be offensive. " Some people are way too sensitive. Especially when it comes to being politically correct. I'm not going to change my mind just so I don't hurt your feelings. I wound expect the same from anyone else. The only thing we really have is our beliefs. Get off the fucking bandwagon and think for yourself. /rant
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:27:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one is asking you to change your mind or beliefs, most likely they are asking you to change the way you state your belief. Basically upgrade your vocab.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can either say this or "You are being such a fucking cunt. I hope you get pulled though the gears of large machinery. I hope your last thought is sheer terror and the feeling of pain."
Freevoulous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah its pretty arrogant. Should be "I feel offended", because it does not imply some kind of objective monopoly on knowinf what is, and is not offensive.
LRedditor15 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:03:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Triggered"
2tothe1tothe6 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:59:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's so gay"
hellofromsc ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:14:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ur so gay
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Atleast Loras is a awesome knight ;)
max_d_tho ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 14:48:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A conglomerate of "where's the outrage?" "Where's the national outcry?" And "all lives matter."
_participation ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:15:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Where's the national matter?"
Tax_Dollars_at_Work ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:48:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Think of the children!
EbolaNinja ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:34:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*Gets hard*
godwings101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So it should be #BlackLivesMatter? Oh wait, I mean #BlackLivesOnlyMatterWhenKilledByWhiteCops.
max_d_tho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here ya go, missing the point completely
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love that word
ghostofpennwast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"we need to have a national discussion"
max_d_tho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stop I know you're on my side here but I hate these phrases so much that I'm just so uncomfortable
thebloodofthematador ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know that this unarmed black guy was killed for a busted taillight, but this white teen was heavily armed, stole a truck, was under the influence of drugs and was shot by police, where are the marches for HIM?! Why aren't we talking about THAT, HM?"
max_d_tho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from New Jersey, so I'm not sure how far reaching this argument goes, but a few years ago a little white girl, Autumn Pasquale, was killed by two black teens for her bicycle. The teens were caught and brought to justice and served their terms. Yet, when anything that happens to an unarmed POC, the counter argument is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS "Where were the riots for her, HUH???" Jesus, justice was fucking served to those kids but noooooo since there was no outrage, her death meant nothing apparently.
thebloodofthematador ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:17:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I come across this argument a lot with the cops. "This cop was killed by a black guy, but where are the marches and riots for him?"
There aren't any, because the perpetrator was immediately arrested, convicted of murder, and sentenced to prison. People riot and march because they feel justice was miscarried, not because someone committed a crime in the first place.
max_d_tho ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:20:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently that is a difficult concept to grasp by a large majority of white Americans.
DaylightDarkle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't recall that event..
thebloodofthematador ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:37:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's an exaggerated example. Hyperbole.
DaylightDarkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, a strawman!
Got it.
Pikathew ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:04:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"bruh"
augizzz999 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:19:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
U wot m8? What'cha say to me ye' little cheeky cunt. I'll fokin bash ur face in.
Pikathew ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I consider that a breath of fresh air
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bruh, really bruh?
myhairsreddit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:29:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO!" Ughh when will it die??
mini-actualsize ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed YOLO doesn't mean go kill yourself doing stupid shit, but if you believe YOLO means go kill yourself doing stupid shit, it is probably natural selection doing the rest of the human population a favor.
George_W_Obama ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:44:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Educate yourself"
delicatechildrenskin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice to hear from you, George!
Justice_Prince ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:22:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You want to have your cake and eat it too."
Yes of course I do. That what you do when you have cake. What do you want me to just look at it?
joseph1981 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:30:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This phrase is somewhat misleading it actually means to have your cake i.e. as in posses it. Whilst simultaneously eating it as well.
ScrawnyTesticles69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:36:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Originally the phrase was "eat your cake and have it too," which makes much more sense.
andnowforme0 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:37:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey, <familiar pronoun>, do you have a dollar?" First off, I don't know you, and we're not friends. Second off, yes I have a dollar. That I earned. At my job. No, you can't have it.
modus-operandi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:19:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any bullshit bingo contender in a business meeting.
madkungfu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:47:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I give 110%
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I got my hurr (hair) did."
bearickson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:06:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bro"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:35:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disliking someone because of one phrase seems kinda shallow.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Listen here "Big Fucking Gun", you are absolutely right. I can still not help losing respect for someone who utters my trigger phrase when I hardly know them yet. Things change though and people redeem themselves.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are the first one to get the reference! :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yay me! I think it is a perfect reference.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aw, thanks. :)
Ryanmjesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Doom is in the name. Haha.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you would think more peopl would get it. ;)
mvartan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:43:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything Happens for a Reason" or "God's Will"
CollusorReginae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:57:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a problem with foreigners, BUT....
noiro777 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"foodstuffs". FFS, why can't you just use the word "food" ?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because spices and cooking materials tend to be 'foodstuffs,' in that they are used to make food, not so much the food itself.
noiro777 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people may use it that way, but the definition is "a substance suitable for consumption as food". The people that I know that use it, tend to be the pretentious "foodie" types and will use it for any kind of food.
dihedral3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:14:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but...."
"I'm not religious, I'm spiritual...."
[When someone asks about my major] "Math? I hate math! What's the use of it. "(Or) "Math? What are you gonna do with that? Teach!? "(Or) "Whats this times that..."
"If psychics aren't real how come they know so much stuff about the person...."
"How can you not believe in god/the supernatural/the afterlife!"
"Why don't you try thinking of god as love/nature/the universe..."
I could go on. A lot of what people say annoys me apparently...aw man no wonder I have no friends! :[
sordibrae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:34:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Either 'Bleeding Heart Liberal' or 'Republicunt.' The fact that people use these phrases in a serious manner bewilders me.
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've not heard "Republicunt" before.
warpenguin55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lmao Republicunt. what are they 12?
roscoesdead ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:00:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hands up, don't shoot!!!!!"
I hear this constantly from passers-by. I'm standing here looking at paperwork. Shut the f*ck up.
ghostofpunish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:02:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You have an abnormally small penis"
Seriously it's so overused.
moviefreak11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:17:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Please do the needful'
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:12:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My IQ is (high made up number)
warpenguin55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i know a guy who brags about his lower than average IQ. hes not wrong
RonaIdBurgundy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:29:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Quebec should be a country
PenguinColada ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:05:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "you know?" out of context.
Example. "I really enjoy fish tacos. You know?"
Had a roommate that used to do that.
Soldier4Christ82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know, right?
NickGrig ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:38:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a multi-tasker!" 98% of you are not...instead make a list and follow it through. You would be suprised what you can finish in less time.
bobtherake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:43:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
foodie.
DJKaraX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:47:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Winner, winner, chicken dinner." Ugh.
olivvvver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"brain fart" fuck people who say that.
okaythiswillbemymain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:24:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sheeple
emporerjoe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:34:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
BlackenedBlued ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:36:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep calm and chive on
ViciousKnids ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:46:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
nksnoss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:56:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best"
Like fuck these people.
Ricosmom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:19:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is. Grrrr
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:22:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"the thing is"...almost always followed by something super condescending and often wrong. Ugh.
Fuck_that_tickles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:31:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone tells me some dumb statistic about their child like "he's in the 98% percentile for height his age"
Or how smart their 8 month old is. "He's sooo smart, he knows what the color red is!" Fucking shut up. No one cares.
kariochi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:36:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Jesus take the wheel"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:55:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Culinarytracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. I've never ran across this opinion.
Uranus_Hz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:00:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Have accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?"
arsh231 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:02:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That causes Cancer"
warpenguin55 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people who say that cause cancer
napoles48 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:09:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a woman..." or " As a man..."
supergeishapks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:09:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So... I don't really eat meat, it's called being vegan. Which means I don't eat anything with a face, and I don't know how you can eat meat.
_echnaton ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:09:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but...
SmallFryHero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:10:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anything my teenage sister says. Literally, I can't even. Awkward.
Dorian712 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:10:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom says this a lot. Like, yes, everything is indeed what it is. Thank you for pointing that out for yet another thing.
Dorian712 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah drives me fucking mental.
pesh527 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Global warming is a hoax."
ibringthesnark ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:12:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "YOLO" out loud without a hint of sarcasm.
Tenator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:12:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't talk to me until I have my coffee
WarmAndCHRISpy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Be a man."
MrSparkle1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:27:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less."
Oh really? Well how much less could you care?
HomeBrewDude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason" or "it's part of god's plan" anytime something bad happens.
_Joad_Cressbeckler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No homo"
curmudgeon24 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ha ha, oh like I read!"
It's not the fact that they don't read, it's the fact that they laugh at the very idea of reading.
DrMaxUrban ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At my church..." I don't care that you're religious. Believe in whatever you like. I just don't give a damn about it, and I certainly don't want to hear about what you do or what happened at church.
Gnvgrl85 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bs corporate jargon that basically translates into people not wanting to do their jobs.
"Let's put a pin in that." "Can we table this discussion for now?" "Let's circle back to that." "Let's brainstorm some more synergized ideas"
I automatically assume these people enjoy the smell their own farts.
indoorfeelings ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:46:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I just tell it like it is!"
No, you're just a dick.
warpenguin55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i used that once, got called a dick, replied with "no shit, only dicks say that"
EverLiving_night ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:48:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That Marilyn Monroe quote..... You know the one.
Captain_Cannabinoid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"let me AXE you something"
VAPossum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:04:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a <military> spouse--it's the hardest job in the <military>!"
Bonus: "My <spouse> and I just got promoted to <rank>!"
Bonzai_Tree ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:07:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm kind of a diva"
warpenguin55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no you're kind of a bitch
volar92 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:08:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
K
OfficiallyRelevant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:12:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On Facebook: "To those of you reading this congratulations! You are still on my friend's list!"
Annoys the fuck out of me. Like how pretentious can you be?
11bulletcatcher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:13:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"America is a Christian Nation!"
Unfriend, downvote, permaban.
Cytokine-Storm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those dirty Christians. We should be executing them in the streets, amirite? smh...
nattydreadlox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:30:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"that's JUST a theory." omfg i hate them
Laser_Lens_4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a game theory?
nattydreadlox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the funny thing is, i totally watch that show and i make SURE to leave the page before he gets to the end
NorseTikiBar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Problematic.
Basically, it seems to mean that you're not offended, but you're pretty sure you could be, and that's not good.
Grow a thicker skin.
DerpGrub ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:40:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"men you need to treat your woman like a princess"-every bitchy woman that doesn't deserve a man. if you have to remind every man you date to treat you right. maybe your the fucking problem.
Bedfordshire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:42:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Live. Laugh. Love.
Gun. Mouth. Pull.
Therealcornholio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO" or "Hashtag." Both make me want to instantly disembowel that person with a wooden cooking spoon.
MENNONH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hashtagyoloswag
PirateElectricAreWe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:59:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, see, there's black people and then there's niggers."
Please stop. You're not really thinking hard enough about the whole thing.
skepticated ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:00:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason"
Gstayton ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:00:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bit late, but I have to contribute my ex's dislike of the phrase "it is what it is", she'd get sooo mad. And it was my favorite way to just shrug stuff off :<
cheddarkitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The procedures are the procedures."
"Oh, really? I thought the procedures were a hat. Hit with some more of your lame tautology, Socrates."
Gstayton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Making me sound like the one with a terrible phrase now D: I'm sorry I can't keep up with the shipping phrases these days, not my fault I passed banter with someone raised on Shakespeare! But seriously. I don't always know what's archaic and what isn't, and it gets me in trouble :x
cheddarkitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your ex's hated phrase reminded me of a scene from Gilmore Girls which is where I pulled that quote from. Paris yells at a doctor for saying "the procedures are the procedures," because it's an infuriating variation of the endlessly annoying "it is what it is."
angrypanda83 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you're reading this you made the cut."
Fuck off... Don't make it sound like I was trying out for Team Asshole... Those idiots get deleted pretty god damn quickly.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:06:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HELLA
MTRsport ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:13:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The Confederacy wasn't racist"
Ace-and-Bass ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:17:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Live laugh love
GetOutOfMyChairBro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:18:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"yolo"
MunchkinMan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:20:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Happy Monday". Makes me wanna rip their spleen out through their nose.
GintaSempai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:20:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omg that's so fleek.
I don't even know the use of the word. But I want to murder whole cities whenever I see it.
ModelSD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:21:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could care less.
kywildcats07 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:31:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Preggers" for a pregnant female.
reki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:37:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "Prego". That's either Italian sauce or a fish from Insaniquarium.
muppetspuppet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:31:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin'..." Yes, I know, cus you JUST SAID IT. I know you are trying to emphasize, but it's just annoying.
thuca94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:31:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I tell it like it is"
Usually that is just someone making an excuse for being an asshole. And most times, they can dish it out but they sure as hell can't take it.
sore-loser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:33:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep calm and ____"
Chelifish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:35:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not gonna lie...
guitargeneration ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sure"
I fucking hate this word so much because it seems so careless! I'll be talking to someone and be like "you wanna do something later " and if they respond with "sure" I instantly feel like they actually don't but they just suck at saying no. Any question you can answer sure to yoi can answer yes or no to!
doofinator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:01:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So random"
dogsolo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:05:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The left wants you to think..."
zooalbert ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:06:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason." No it doesn't.
diljit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it does and in your case the reason is YOU.
siracu55 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:07:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Surprise me." I'm a bartender.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:09:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like us on Facebook!"
justinerwin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:38:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I think Hilary Clinton is the most honest candidate."
WhiteMorphious ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:40:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It was a great/bad film" I've never heard anyone insistent on calling something a film not be a pretentious jackass.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:42:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As per usual
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:43:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This is hella [insert phrase]!."
psycharious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...California?
HitokiriDaisuke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:44:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm voting for Donald Trump.
therealtedbundy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:44:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Irregardless"
dickdont ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:44:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anything swag. like what are these words these teenage shakespeare dicks create
slowshot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Have you prayed today?"
auaisito ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:46:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry, I cant make it. I have to attend a webinar to prepare for the bootcamp where I'm crowdfunding my startup.
hansnofranz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:46:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who want's to play Monoply?
kaleidoscopeminds ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't read.
unapologetic_adie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
"Know what I'm sayin'?"
Anything involving "wake up" or "sheeple."
God, you people are the worst.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:48:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, im Donald Trump"
MichaelNevermore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:50:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have chronic insomnia. It pisses me right off when people say crap like "Just go to bed earlier," or "Turn off the computer before bed," or "Don't eat after seven."
Thanks, I totally hadn't tried any of that even though I've had insomnia for nearly ten years.
It gets ten times worse when you encounter people who think you're faking it so you can stay up to play video games or some BS. As if insomnia isn't an actual thing.
This can be said for other conditions, too. For example, there's a disturbingly large portion of the population that thinks migraines are merely bad headaches. No. No, they are much, much worse.
heurrgh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:52:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I pacifically told you..."
upandcomingg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:52:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep whining and whining until I win"
jzanolli9 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:54:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That girl/guy is so fake"
Sippindips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to post this. 99% of the time people are going to be "fake" if they don't actually like you. You don't get anywhere in the world by acting like a dick to people you don't like.
I'm fake all the time. Doesn't bother me at all.
Freeturns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:58:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when ever someone references another as bud, champ, ace, sport, etc.
mtm777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
except for Gatsby, old sport is the best nickname ever
DrStephenFalken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:03:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all some bitter mutha fuckers.
Ptizzl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:04:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"People just don't understand"
Yeah, we do. You're just a fuck up.
calibrated ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:05:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Must be nice".
Shut up, you bitter loser.
356afan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:06:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love my Apple products so much!" "Steve Jobs was a God!"
made-u-look ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:06:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sipping on white tears"
cakeeater808 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:13:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, they'll (the workers) clean it up.
Xura ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:17:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I do crossfit" fuck you I dont care
rainydaygeorge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:20:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Now I'm not a scientist but..." and then proceeds to give very detailed beliefs that are not based on science. The only way this can make me not annoyed is if they ask for and ACCEPT/consider any correction of misinformation they just said.
Dobly1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:22:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Console's are just as good
technogeist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on what it is, in a lot of ways they are better, in a few ways they are worse. Personally I try buy the PC version of a game because I get the added capability to mod, even though I rarely do, but I overwhelmingly prefer consoles. Mostly because they are easy and ready to go, no videocard/soundcard/controller drivers to screw with, analog controllers are better than digital keys on keyboards, I don't have to sit up properly and keep my hand and body in uncomfortable positions(when not using a controller), usually more people online, etc.
Diewitsjonathon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference"
Could have sworn the saying was "Same thing"
SwedishB ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using irregardless. Regardless works just fine.
Minkis1000 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:25:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I ask how they are and they respond with either "same shit different day" or sarcastically respond "livin' the dream"
Claimoh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:30:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Evolution is just a theory
clunk00777 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have an anti-vaxxer coworker who actually believes in the Illuminati and in shape shifting lizard people. It used to be funny, now its just fucking annoying.
Stamor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:35:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had something related to this happen quite recently. I had just finished my lunch, but was still technically on my lunch break. I was just doing stuff on the computer. I think I was looking up E3-related news. This coworker I barely knew came into the room and I got the impression he wanted to use the computer (we don't really have a strict "this person uses this computer" thing.) I asked him if he needed it and he said "no, feel free to putz about". I suddenly really disliked the guy. The only time I ever heard that phrase growing up was when my mother was chastising me for being lazy. So even though he didn't say it in a condescending way, I took it as if he had.
I knew he was probably a perfectly fine dude and that I was just experiencing a personal bias based on my own connotations for the phrase, but it was still hard for me to get over. Luckily a few weeks after this incident we ended up talking and he turned out to be an alright guy after all.
ElDashRendar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:36:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a young Latino professional. So, when I meet someone new and they notice how articulate I am and they say, โWow, you speak so wellโฆ You are not like themโฆ You are really smartโฆ OR You are different and they will really like you.โ
Grrrrrrr.... Micro aggressions are subtle, done unconsciously, but reflect a person's inner thinking.
ohmygod_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I watch Fox News.
Minesae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You should smile more."
"I'm not leaving till you smile."
"What's wrong? You look upset."
Passenger ferry deckhand here, male. Customers used to say this to me at least 8 times a week, it's toned down now but still happens -- I could be smiling or laughing or just counting passengers or be idle and someone will come up to me and start doing this or even commanding me to smile because I apparently have resting bitch face or I look too serious or sad for people. It's the commanding lines that really piss me off.
I also get a lot of people that ask if I'm high. I'm 1/4th Chinese and it really shows in my eyes but nothing else. People assume I'm a stoner just because of how I look, but I've never smoked a damn thing in my life.
DodgerDoan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:40:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I was just kidding." Yeah, either I already know that or it was offensive anyway.
NickelFish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:41:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucked Ted.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:42:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep Calm and X on"
tshiar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:42:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a[n] [insert group], [...]
seanmck89 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im the kind of person that..." I'm the kind of person who hates that
cp5184 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of conservative/republican talking points. Libertarian too.
melodieux_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:44:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[Insert word] af
regular-wolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:44:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Without further ado...
FilbertInTheFlesh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:45:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to protest at planned parenthood."
surfANDmusic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:45:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says or does something shitty/borderline dehumanizing that he meant and when you let him know how fucked up and wrong it was and retaliate with negative emotion he says, "Goshhh I was just joking man calllmmmmm downnn. It was just a joke." Its like own up to your actions.
nevergofullrword ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:45:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
apparently "it is, what it is", is something i find moderately annoying:\
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:45:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offence, but..."
Yoururologist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:46:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, can you do me a favor ?
saimen54 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:46:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
PartTimeZombie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:49:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to post this
cairogalactic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:48:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 17 and I'm still learning how to cope with it."
Friend: "ERMAGERD, I thernk I herve it terrrr. I have such a hard time concentrating on the smallest things! I can never write papers."
No, you fucking don't. Shut up. I HATE YOUR FACE.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:48:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Living life to the fullest.
I_Think_Alot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:48:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate labels"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:49:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference"
nocanthinkofusername ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:49:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started reading this thread thinking like "oh, I can't really think of something like that...", and now im surprised I don't most everyone because everyone is saying stuff that I would fucking hate...
Also my own one is when someone does something amazing and talented and someone replies "Oh God must of blessed you with that lovely voice"... more fucking likely that person worked really fucking hard to be good thanks for trying to take that away from them
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:50:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using ADD/ADHD/autism as some kind of excuse for something you're ashamed of.
Be a fucking man and say "Yep, I fucked up".
jhallen2260 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:50:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae
x_minus_one ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:50:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "offline" when they mean "online".
Immediately makes me think you're ignorant.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so happy that I've literally never heard someone say this before
x_minus_one ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like they're mixing "off the internet" and "online" together. Just, ugh.
jhallen2260 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:51:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Working hard or hardly working?"
T-spot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:52:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
Fubardian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:54:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am the type of guy that likes to work hard and play hard. Scew those people.
maxthethrax ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:55:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only stay with cool people.
jaxxon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:55:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Giving it 110% I literally died One of the most unique ... On a scale of 1-10 it's an 11 I'm a proud [anything]
NtheLegend ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:56:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't like the American flag, you can move!" "If you haven't served in the military, what have YOU done for this country!?"
TyroneFlop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:56:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You need to learn to take a joke." Or something similar. Makes my blood boil.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:57:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a response to a comment made...."I know, right?" Yeah bitch that's right, that's why I said it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say "low key" or "high key". Like "you are being high key annoying" or "I low key dont know what you are talking about". So fucking condescending and dumb.
Darkgod87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thanks Boss"
akumagold ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher played "The Usual Suspects" on the coach bus on the way back from a field trip. A girl in my class loudly talked through the movie while facing the opposite direction of the screens.
About 3/4 through the movie, she turns and glanced at the screen for about 7 seconds and said, "God this movie sucks"
Die cunt
Die
Interus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:00:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses their sky fairy/deity to judge other people. I mean everyone has a right to delusions and to believe in myths, but keep it to yourself.
FatGordon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:00:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people go on about how hard they are, winning a fight with a random stranger. You are not hard you are a douche.
People who say they aren't paid enough to do [shit i'd do anyway, without question]
aimlesswander ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:01:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a Scorpio. What sign are you?!"
Theplasticcat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:02:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Tell me/us how you really feel..."
MoreIronyLessWrinkly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:03:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That offends me.
Well, fuck. I forgot that te Bill of Rights protects you from being offended.
telmahsel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:03:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To tell you the truth ..."
So everything else you told me was a lie?
Absolute47 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:04:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're fired
Moondogtk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:06:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Life isn't fair."
Ranandom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:07:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Excuse me, can I just take a moment of your time?"
I've have never, ever, been genuinely interested in what followed that statement.
Daisy_Problems ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:09:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Smash Bros. Melee was the ONLY good one!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:10:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't tell me how to raise my children/do my job."
Well you're shitty at it, so...
YeOldeBaconWhoure ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:10:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Welp," and that God-awful "What has two thumbs and..." thing.
Cat_With_The_Gat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:11:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DJ KHALED! WE THE BEST!
LadyMatrix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:11:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Baby, honey, etc... when we just first met. It is an indication that he actually #1 He has forgotten my name. #2 He was not listening properly. #3 He calls all women by the same name...
johnny2k ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:12:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amazeballs and awesomesauce.
kyred ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:12:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not about finding the right answers. But having good conversations."
Said by our new chatty Cathy head of technical operations. Sorry, but there are such things as wrong answers and bad ideas in the world of engineering. You can't just talk your problems away like a politician.
Pseudobrilliance ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:16:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm interviewing someone for a job, if they use the phrase "deal with," they lose points immediately. I don't want someone working for me that feels their job is to "deal with" teenagers or their parents.
ElduderinoSD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:18:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When Moms reference each other as "Mommas" instead of Moms. Like on Facebook - "question for all you mommas out there..."
Lower_Horn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:18:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not Christian, I'm catholic"
No, I think the word you're looking for is ignorant.
zaRMs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:23:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one who....
No you are not
myttins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:25:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's gay"
Adrxone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:26:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"<something> will be the death of me."
"<something> is the bane of my existence."
It irritates me because it comes off as ostentatious and trying to sound like you've got an extensive vocabulary and are from a Shakespeare play or some shit.
Manavj36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:27:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol used to bug the crap out of me but now it's just an easy way out of a convo
stretch_bta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:28:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yolo
NakedCapitalist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:29:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mid or feed
Esclamare ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone that calls me a GMO or Vaccine shill.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offence but (offensive comment/judgement)"
For example: no offence but you are useless
Cannot stand this.
uarepilot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stop treating your dog/cat like they are your children. I love my animals and I know they are not kids but I still love them.
Batman_wears_Crocs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:33:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Either "Can I speak to your supervisor?" or "You should be able to fix this."
People don't realize how shitty it is to work in places like that, you're just gonna make their day worse too. In cases with kids just working a summer job they literally might not even now how to give a fuck that you want a refund for food that "tasted old" but that you still ate the whole fucking order of, you cunt.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:33:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sending prayers
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:34:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone seriously tries to call people sockpuppets because they can't accept other people actually disagree with them.
quincy-jones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:38:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee
ASK-ME-IF-IM-HIGH ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:40:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We'll head em off at the pass!
Bengal_Sarmoti ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:44:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I'm not racist, but...'.
NoButthole ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:44:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thusly." It is not a word. "Thus" is a word. Stop saying "thusly."
jaimelejusdorange ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:46:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason"
Galbatross ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:52:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"True that."
webbasica ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:52:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Got a light?
Grand_Imperator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:53:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My favorite philosopher is Ayn Rand."
tyesteireiro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:54:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Chill fam" or even worse "Chill FOM"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:55:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indians will relate... "Simply"
jaymstone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:55:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On fleek"
Coupaholic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:58:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not being funny, but..." It's basically an admission that they know what they are about to say is fucking stupid, but they're going to go ahead and say it anyway. Better idea, keep it parked behind your front teeth.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:05:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"She is a thot." Thot = That Hoe Over There. She is a that hoe over there?
blurio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:08:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Germany a popular one is: I'm not a Nazi, but [insert racist bullshit].
Ich bin ja kein Nazi, aber...
embarc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:09:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sushi? Eww.
KaptainKari5ma ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:09:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
just...STFU
iiTnT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:18:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gambling with house money. YOU WON THAT MONEY DIPSHIT. YOU CAN WALK OUT OF THE CASINO WITH THAT MONEY AND DO SOMTHING WITH IT
micheljansen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:20:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a scientist, but..."
BearAnt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:21:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
gets offended at your joke people. Fuck all of you.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:22:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bae is on fleek"
tamaytotomahto ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:29:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Live, Love, Laugh" and other bullshit lines as a fuck off giant wall art piece in their bedroom.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" - oh fuck you, DESERVE? DESERVE?! How about you simmer the self-centred bullshit down and grow up.
drakedavis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:40:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really hate when people say things like "You're fired" or "Mexican immigrants are rapists" or "Trump 2016"
BeniBin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:41:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sexist, BUT...
16293 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:49:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just saying"
"Are you kidding me?" (In that over the top Sports Center voice)
"What up Dog?"
"Is that your final answer?"
"The deliverables for this meeting are...."
SA_Swiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:51:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You were born in South Africa? How did it feel to oppress others?"
Really?
Sibur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:54:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Evolution is a lie"
TalosOurSaviour ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:56:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Vaccines cause autism"
UserLymm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:59:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ugh, nobody listens to Frank Zappa like I do!"
Or any other well know artist that isn't for everyone, so they feel their taste in music special.
detectivesingh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:01:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's your sign. Or anything related to astrology
PeopleNotNeeded ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:04:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think astrology is cool, but I don't base SHIT off of it. lol
heavymetalhansel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:10:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
referring to children as - crotch fruit - it turns my stomach its so vile
bon7bon2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've honestly never heard that one before.
ElopingElephants ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:14:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not an expert BUT...
BenanaFofana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:16:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I stop talking to anyone who uses the word "pleb" or any variant of such unironically.
HctiMsyrK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:18:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The customer is always right.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:21:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So you're a vegetarian, eh? Well, for every animal you don't eat, I'll eat three!"
This has been said to me so many fucking times that I go out of my way to hide the fact that I'm a vegetarian for as long as I can around new people until I can't hide it anymore (ie: we eat together and it inevitably comes up when I don't eat any meat).
If you say this you're a massive douchebag. This phrase is older than "WHAZZZUP!" and anyone you say it to has already heard it at least a hundred times. If you ever meet the fabled "preachy vegan" it's because they either haven't been vegan for very long or simply don't mind being verbally assaulted on a regular basis.
Sir_P1zza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:23:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*Argument becoming serious
Person: You sir,should get a life ASAP,thank you and please leave. Me: The heck, just say that I'm a dildo instead of pretending to be nice and good,asshole.
SurrealSnorlax ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:25:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but....
Nufity ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:27:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I physically cringe when someone say: I dont have the time or the crayons to explain it to you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:47:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry this made me chuckle!
Hangytangy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:28:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people post shit about music festivals "287 more days till I'm home!~*~ "
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:35:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're looking for people people
Allysquad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:40:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO.............drives me crazy.
wowhowfun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:45:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eyebrows on fleek
saint_maria ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:49:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who offers 'snake oil' to cure my complex mental health issues.
There is a reason my therapy takes 18 months at the minimum, please fuck off.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:59:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You would love my grandma. Her cure-all was a hot bath with epsom salts. Sick? Hot bath with epsom salts. Broke your leg? Hot bath with epsom salts. Possessed by Satan himself? Hot bath with epsom salts. Forgot to make a car payment? Hot. Bath. With epsom salts.
saint_maria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:01:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, hot baths are my go-to solution when I'm feeling incredibly fucked up. Maybe I need to get me some Epsom salts.......
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:09:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I won't lie, epsom salts are quite relaxing. Just don't add too much to the bath. I once added a bunch, soaked for maybe 15 minutes, and my muscles got way too relaxed. I felt like a freaking vegetable, could barely move, and had to open the drain with my toes to keep from slipping under the water and drowning. Epsom salt (aka magnesium sulfate) is great though. The nails on both sides of both of my big toes got in-grown and needed surgery. Foot doctor recommended I soaked them in, what else, but warm water and epsom salts after surgery.
JacobValance ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:49:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Live and let live' No. Fuck you. I will be victorious.
EmperorZoltan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:50:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those who can't do, teach.
Fuck ppl for not appreciating how powerful a tool education is and those who make it their job to pass on their knowledge.
wrsrule ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:55:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Deez Nutz
I_steal_tupperware ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:02:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but....
slackloss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:06:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good on you.
Juicy_K ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:07:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you say "Thanks!" to someone and they just reply with a good "uh-huh"
Fuck those kinds of peoples
pantalones420 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:14:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I facepalm so hard at emo facebook posts i nearly tear my face off
Ifvckdup ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:14:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I think if god had intended........he wouldn't have......." Mother fucker shut up your imaginary friend can't take the blame for whatever racist/sexist/xenophobic bullshit's about to come outta your mouth.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:18:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..." Like being able to add to the population makes you wise.
scavmink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:24:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you seen/read/done this? No?! Why not? You haven't lived!
I'm sorry that I haven't experienced everything in this world. It would be better if you said something like "I recommend it IF you have time"
DropDeadSander ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:27:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"how long will you let your beard grown before you shave?"
ima-kitty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:29:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i hate cats"
Bezulba ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:31:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I vote PVV because they are the only ones that tell the truth!"
Usually somebody from a part of the country that has never seen a black person/immigrant in the flesh.
technogeist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:36:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He'll get what's coming to him" or anything related to karma.
Um, no, that's not how the world works, bad people sometimes have good things happen to them and succeed in life and good people sometimes have bad things happen to them and fail in life. I would actually bet that "bad people" are even more likely to succeed because they have the advantage of options that "good people" would pass up because they see them as taking advantage of situations and/or people.
Nagaho ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:46:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to boast, but...
ThibiiX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:57:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but... {insert super racist comment}"
redaelk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:01:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but...
slayeryo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:08:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i am not racist, BUT......
Arcticor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:09:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your [x] privilege
flamingopanic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:11:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If we came from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?"
thatsecurityguy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:14:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[On Facebook] "kill yourself"
Don't ever say that shit. Serious or not.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:20:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" EDIT thanks for the gold !"
MrPatrick1207 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:23:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know it may seem offensive, but people using the term African-American for people who aren't African. The term is meant for people who moved from Africa to here. I don't ask to be called Irish-American, I'm just white.
PM_ME_YOUR_SHPEENIS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:25:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"fam"
xCPMG ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:31:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All my friends are guys because they cause less drama"
gobble, gobble.
corp0ration ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:32:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My bad"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:37:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Lighten up!"
Aka "Ugh, you obviously don't have a sense of humor because you don't think everything I do is a giant ball of wit."
TheHeroicOnion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:39:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
''I'm a people person'' sounds stupid. I heard it once and thought ''what the fuck?''
Deestroya ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:44:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist, but..." Maybe your not racist but the next scentence will probaly Show that youre an asshole.
Testiculees ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:49:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this
supersmash159 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:49:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check your privilege. I actively ignore anyone who says that to me.
edwartica ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:53:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything comparing life to a journey. It's a useless clichรฉ whose time has past and whose meaning has been lost.
Therealfruitylexia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:56:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but...
tiaplodocus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:06:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's agree to disagree.
HagridsLadyFriend ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:12:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Said to a child:
"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about."
DaughterOfStorms ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:12:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Am I the only one who _____?" No. No you are not. Out of the billions of people on this planet you are most definitely not the only person to do the thing. Bonus points if it's something the majority of people do but don't talk about because the rest of us know it isn't that big of a deal
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:22:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Liberal Media"
I know that certain media outlets have a liberal bias to them. I also know that the people who usually say this tend to be horrifyingly far-right and hold views that I find disgusting at the very least. They also tend to employ horribly-constructed arguments and laugh in the face of logic.
Even though there's nothing particularly wrong with the phrase itself--I even have a friend who uses that phrase regularly but we have calm, intelligent discussions about it in which he cites specific examples and we talk about them--but using it with strangers places you in association with a group that is likely not a good reflection of who you are as a person.
It's like polygamy. In theory, I don't personally have a problem with it, but how it's typically practiced is in an environment that's horribly oppressive to women. So telling a stranger you are a polygamist--even if the arrangement is completely of the free, informed will of everybody involved--still puts images of creepy old FLDS men marrying 14-year-old girls in their head.
Charliknave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:26:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate people with tattoos"
igotpink8cidbootson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:29:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't seen star wars
LexisDupe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:32:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I support Trump for President!"
Stinkeye63 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:35:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "Long story short" - and it never is.
Back in the day is also annoying.
AmyReneD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:35:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feed the need. (Anything/anyone asking for donations) What happens when you feed something? It grows. Why would you want need to grow? Literaly, most parks ask you, "don't feed the animals", because handouts make the animals stop doing for themselves. And the people who say donating/giving is the right thing to do, so you should just give. Most of the money people send to those donations are just continuing to line an already rich persons pockets, not helping someone in "need".
Marz64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check out "Effective Altruism." I think you'll find that both your arguments fall through.
HIJKay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:38:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so blessed!!!!!
mikebra93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:39:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We're not vaccinating."
Whelp, why don't you stop wearing a seatbelt.
Volbeatz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:43:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow I'm late for this...
When people tell a joke, then immediately say "I'm going to hell for that."
yusuf_wadud ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:47:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I go to the toilet? "I don't know. Can you?"
Sleepyeyesboneyknees ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:55:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'We need to pencil something in the diary'
Centais ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:59:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Phrases that involve people promoting themselves. I don't mind people being self confident and saying they're good at something when being asked, but don't bring it forward yourself..
jinreeko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:01:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who overuse "it is what it is"
lonalon5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:04:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a Scorpio?
annoyingstranger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a Leo, this doesn't bother me. My destined leadership requires tolerant acceptance of those who foolishly believe horoscopes.
PM_Your_Goat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:06:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I voted for Tony Abbott".
travist67 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:07:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be honest with you...." I immediately assume that from then on everything they tell me that they don't start out with "To be honest with you..." is a lie.
annoyingstranger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:07:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of what most people say is some level of lie. Oh, you're really "fine" for two hundred sixty five consecutive work days? I'm sure ...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:10:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'The Apollo 11 Moon landings were faked.'
Yorston03 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:12:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand when people say "just sayin'" ... i fucking know you are saying something, you don't have to tell me. ahh
mjs5186 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:13:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
irregardless...I just can't even!
smilingarmpits ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:16:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Work hard, play hard"
"I'm a weekend warrior"
Hnnnnnnnggggggggggggg
serentiynow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:27:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My religious sentiments are offended because..."
SeaTramp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:31:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'The reality is... '
PM_ME_YOUR_TEAPOT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:33:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
xD
ScienceNAlcohol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:33:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-when referring to a job that actually takes some skill- "this is so easy a monkey could do this!"
How about go fuck yourself.
gabdex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:53:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
______ is not as good as it used to be.
Friendlyvoices ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:54:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is". Really? That says nothing. That's literally saying, "the sky is blue because the sky is blue."
annoyingstranger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:02:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the word you're looking for is tautology.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:55:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We need a straight pride, what with all the gay people."
jkeith0207 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:02:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine dated a guy who constantly pronounced 'idea' as 'idear'.
So much contempt.
Belanos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are certain accents, including some British, that put R's at the end of some words. You're clearly adding a letter to a word that isn't there...STOP IT!!!!
Bestrafen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:03:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Never judge a book by its cover."
Bitch, that's all people do.
annoyingstranger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:29:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My answer was always, "then why cover them?"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:11:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know, sagging pants means you had gay sex in prison."
I'm pretty sure that isn't true.
Loopus1620 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:12:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you think Donald Trump would make a good president?
purdystar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:12:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"hella" was ok for like a week online but the phrase sometimes leaks through to irl convos and it gives me chills with how dumb it sounds
scaryuncledevin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:15:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo.
Bestrafen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:21:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bae"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:25:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but the word "savage".
bunnygirlbeans ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:33:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really hate when people try to make their point by first asking and then answering their own questions. As in: Did he deserve that beatdown? Yes. Am I sorry I beat him up? No. Would I do it again? Sure.
This makes me extremely irritated. Does anyone know if this particular bit of verbal garbage has a specific name?
teh_jombi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:37:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Dude, it was just a joke."
effedg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:52:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Um, I'm actually gluten-free".
BindairDondat2time ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:53:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like someone has the case of the mondays.
SpartanX006 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:55:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but.....
ThaneOfMordor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:11:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Why are you getting so worked up about it? It's just a (game/show/film etc.)!"
caretaker81 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:14:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to beat the living shit out of you"
Never worked for me, instant dislike!
InquisitaB ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:18:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No homo"
Talk about a phrase that screams, "I'm totally insecure and care what other people think about me".
Guy 1: You know, Brad Pitt is a good looking guy. Guy 2: Dude, do you want to have sex with him? Guy 1: Uh no. He's just good looking. That's all. I'm not gay. Guy 2: But you didn't say no homo!
Now if that guy had only said no homo...
Guy 1: You know, Brad Pitt is a good looking guy. No homo. Guy 2: Totally. Guy 1: Dude, do you want to have sex with him? Guy 2: Uh no. He's just good looking. That's all. I'm not gay. Guy 1: But you didn't say no homo!
NandoVilches ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:20:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone saying: "Real Talk...." It just doesn't stick well with me
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:22:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had this significantly larger woman behind me at a graduation party saying, "I sure hope there are no vegetables! I hate eating healthy!"
MDeeMC ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:22:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's not very PC is it?"
Wheneveryouseefit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:25:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that starts with... "I was so drunk (insert time here) and (insert something stupid here)"
"I'm not trying to be mean/racist/sexist/stupid/dumbfuck but..."
Edit : "you have to see this (insert social media platform here) post"
Daggaroth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:27:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sup?
docsiv ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:35:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus loves you.
JamieGee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:45:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Blessed"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:47:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is". Of course it is.
TheMuffinMafia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:59:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
And answering a question with "I don't know, who cares?" I care! That's why I asked!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:03:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey...it's a free country." Usually taken completely out of context and No, it's not. You pay taxes don't you?
SyntheticGod8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what that means. You're free to relocate, to practise your religious, and speak your views and opinions without unreasonable government interference.
But I agree that it's a dumb phrase because they're usually referring to something trivial.
justAnotherLostFace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:13:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase that uses the non-specific, conspiracy-oriented, capitalized form of "They". It tells me that, at the very least, you haven't expended any mental effort forming whatever belief you're now verbalizing.
Examples:
"They're trying to stop Christians from reporting persecution. . ." -my mom
"They only allow new technology to be released when it suits Them." -some guy I know
_tallz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:14:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people actually say "ba-dum-tiss" after a joke.
Jenerys ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just saying."
I'm standing right here listening to you talk. I know you're saying something. That phrase doesn't mean anything.
Like somehow they get a free pass for being wrong, or mean, or judgmental by putting that nonsense caveat on.
arthurktripp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:38:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More of a sentiment than just a phrase: "You don't like what values this country embodies....GET THE FUCK OUT!!"
The irony is hilarious; the fact that it's unintentional drives me up the wall.
TheNobleGiant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know I didn't mean what I said earlier" Is that suppose to make it hurt less?
slurpypeach ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:40:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have no filter"
CakeAndDonuts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:20:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've said this before and I will say it again:
"I seen..." is an immediate nonstarter for me.
borednetspec ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:04:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not really a phrase, but I can't fucking stand one uppers.. I will excommunicate you as an acquaintance.
fluhx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:18:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:42:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That phrase has the complete opposite effect on me, because it feels like I'm being told to shut up.
kelseyr713 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin!" I worked with a horrid man in theater who said this constantly and now I have a near-visceral reaction to anyone saying it.
Boogiie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:48:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At Ikea: "Sorry you take the demonstration object, I have to keep it"
At the restaurant "Stop eating all the bread" If they give us bread I can eat it, it's mine, I gonna eat you forever for judging me on my bread. I love bread.
Rios7467 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:00:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a song I heard and idk who or wtf it was but it basically had a chorus of "baby I'm worth it." If you have to actively say out loud that you're worth it, then you're fucking not at all.
TsarKeith12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:01:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Boys will be boys" "It's just a prank/joke/etc" "Asking for forgiveness is much easier than asking for permission" "Still gonna call him Bruce"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:30:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If church taught me anything..." No! Don't come next to me with your religious bullshit "knowledge"
GarlicAftershave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:36:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're either part of the problem or you're part of the solution."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:39:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything racist or sexist, really.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"[adjective] hair, don't care"
wngster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:53:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"no homo" when they go for the reach around anyways
thatguy_randomnumber ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:39:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am not racist but...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:15:22 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm <blank> and I find this <blank>"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:29 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm blank and I find this offensive.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:53:21 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or if it's something that pokes fun at like gay people for example it's like "I'm gay and I find this hilarious"
JoyChomper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:49:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm (blank) years young!" No. Fuck you.
SoGodDangTired ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:28:10 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"They have my respect when they earn it."
That's all fine and dandy when you're the authority figure or equal or etc, but when you are under someone, for whatever reason, be fucking respectful. You don't have to like them. You don't have to be friendly. But you can respectful.
And for gods sake, if your boss/teacher/trainer/director/etc tells you to do something, don't say no or ask why. Do it and ask questions later. You have to earn their respect first to get the privilege of knowing why they're telling you shit.
Captain__Stabbin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:14:58 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I dont eat gluten" unless you actually have an allergy
Jclownshoes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:15 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you vape bro?"
UglyT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:19:29 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let me nutshell that for you". Said to me in a business meeting before I was condescended to massively by someone explaining a very simple concept in baby words.
veptavis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:05:39 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's reverse racism/sexism!"
Every time.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:30:10 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool Beans.
suitointellectual ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:11:11 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guessimate
NickAugie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:01:20 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1 like = 1 prayer
Clamdilicus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:15:30 on August 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When actors talk about their craft.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:31:07 on August 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Somethink' its not a fucking word people. SOMETHING is a work. The amount of executives that say that fucking fake word is insanely high also.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:30:16 on August 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wow factor" just don't
moviereference1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:16:37 on August 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That is SO gay"
EvilJackCarver ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:54:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but people who say "PC" as if it's an operating system. A PC is a personally-owned computer. A computer running Macintosh is a PC if you or someone else personally owns it.
narrill ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:08:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a colloquialism, it saves people from having to say "PC running Windows" or "PC running OS X."
Also, PC stands for personal computer, which is a category of computing devices, not a descriptor of ownership. A PC is still a PC if it's owned by a business, or by no one at all.
Bohnanza ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:31:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the PC way of saying it
detecting_nuttiness ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:55:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That's Apple's marketing that's done that. Apple has always marketed their products as something different than a PC.
Remember those "Hi, I'm a Mac"... "and I'm a PC" commercials? Though Apple wanted customers to view the PC guy as a Windows computer (and people did), they were really saying "this is what a Mac is like"... "and this is what every other computer is like."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:45:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think a Mac is a PC. They ran an advertising campaign in which they compared themselves to PCs which wouldn't have made sense if they were.
Ah_Q ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:21:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, exactly, this is the point. "PC" has come to mean something different from its literal meaning. Of course a Mac is a personal computer, but "PC" has come to mean personal computers that do not run an Apple OS.
wackawacka2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And it's meant that for a very long time. It just cuts through the crap a little quicker.
JuggernautV2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:27:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because most macbooks on the inside look like a fuckin iphone!
StaigerTiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So does every other laptop, save for some clunky gaming ones. In order to fit all the components into such small case, they have to sacrifice some serviceability.
Granted, Apple does put a surprising amount of work into the design of their electronics' interiors. But are you really going to complain about that?
JuggernautV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes because i am desktop masterrace man
Epistaxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They made up that phrase so they wouldn't have to say the actual name of their competitor. When someone says "a PC" to mean a computer that runs Windows, odds are it's a Mac user.
The_Yar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a history behind that.
For a while it was mainly IBMs and Apples. IBMs had names like "PC AT" "PC XT" "PC Jr." They ran IBM-DOS, and then MS-DOS. The term PC meant personal computer, and it applied to all of them, but IBM was the one naming them "PC__."
MS-DOS and Windows could run on anything, though, they weren't tied just to IBMs, in the way Apple's OS and hardware were proprietary and linked. So other manufacturers made hardware that mimicked IBM PCs so they could run Microsoft products designed for IBMs. These were known as "IBM clones."
Of course that name was weird and died off and people started referring to IBM clones as "PCs." Because IBM and all of the other manufacturers called them PCs, whereas Apple called theirs the "IIe" or "Lisa" or "Macintosh" or whatever. PC just meant "a PC that isn't an Apple and runs Windows."
backstept ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my ancient Sony Playstation could be classified as a 'Personal Computer'
ireter294 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:31:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well consoles are essentially simpler computers made to play games
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:00:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello, I'm a Mac."
"And I'm a PC."
Hey guess what, Mac? You're a fucking PC, too. Ignorant twat. Way to make your target audience look fucking retarded. Also, those commercials were stupid because I'd rather hire the guy who shows up in a suit and talks about his word processor than the shaggy fuck with the jeans and greasy hair that just wants to paint all day.
tiedyepanda458 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:38:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol just use Linux.
Epistaxis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:47:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then there's not even much of a difference between a personal computer and a server; they're just one
apt-get install openssh-serverapart.CaptainFairchild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Macintosh is a sub-brand of Apple. It is not an operating system either. Also, PC stands for "Personal Computer" as opposed to a mainframe, server, or other shared device.
Epistaxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And let's not even get started on how people pronounce the name of the operating system that's preinstalled on Macs.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:43:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen, brother. Keep fighting the good fight.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:40:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Allahu Akbar!" followed by KABOOM.
Not a huge fan of people who pull that shit.
Warpato ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:02:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if you don't like people who joke about it or if you don't like suicide bombers
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a fan of suicide bombers.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:36:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend, soon to be ex, "You can't be racist to white people, you can only discriminate against them."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are the races in this relationship. I must know.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:48:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're both white
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:32:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm... that seems a bit confusing. Besides isn't racism just a race based discrimination? Well, good luck with that break up. Tell her it is because she is too white.
iamaneviltaco ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:28:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the old "institutional racism is the only type" trope.
Wonder how she'd react if she hung out in a major city for a while. The racism that can pop up between minority groups is honestly scary.
RalphMannn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:22:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
K.
Have the fucking decency to add the extra 1 or 3 letters!
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:30:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Potassium actually has eight extra letters.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:10:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
kay.
HellfireAgnostic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:29:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every kiss begins with Kay, when she's a gold digger.
yuhutuh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate those commercials along the bullshit enthusiasm about some dude who went to Jared's.
mini-actualsize ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you K me!
wideruled ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:00:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
kk
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
kkk mate
broadway13 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:46:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not trying to be sexist, but..."
TheTalkingBook ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:40:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...but it's my faith
Muhhh เฒ _เฒ
iambecomeaname ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:54:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amazeballs/Awesomesauce.
eurocanuk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:08:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
starting a phrase :"as a Christian"
BFly3000 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:16:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just sayin'
ibbolia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Super Saiyin'.
MuseDrones ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:25:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a stereotypical whit girl says "I'm such a nerd" because they are wearing fake hipster glasses and playing some mobile game, or reading a book, etc
Namodacranks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:44:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says they're "brutally honest." If you say something to intentionally hurt somebody, you're an asshole. Honest or not.
RememberWhatWeLost ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:26:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone mentions "White Privilege". I worked two jobs and busted my ass for what I have. My parents didn't have a dime when they started out either. I haven't been handed a God damned thing, so to the people that think I'm coasting on the gravy train just because I'm white, fuck you and fuck your mother...
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:45:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SirWinstonC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
savage
thats_satan_talk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:56:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, but I'm not a sitting Neanderthal.
isaacjdavery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never even realized people didn't wipe standing up...
The_Yar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try it.
TheGriefers ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:17:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "Yeaaah buddy."
Furthermore, just about anytime anyone ever calls me "buddy". Just don't. I'm not your buddy.
andnowforme0 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:31:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not your friend, guy!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:42:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
godwings101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not your pal, friendo!
Nate16 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:43:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not your guy, buddy!
Redditarama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not your friend-Punchy.
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 15:11:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
I have never met one decent person who uses this phrase.
ImWatchinUWatchinMe ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:34:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use it all the time in carpentry. Sometimes wood is twisted or crowned, but you have to work with it.
G_Morgan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually this term is used by managers to explain why they can't change something that is within their power to change without explaining anything.
[deleted] ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 15:31:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone tells you "It is what it is", they're telling you to shut up and stop whining because it isn't going to change. Maybe that's why you don't like them?
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:37:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not the phrase itself, but the kind of people who use it make it toxic. It is usually the people who can change things, but choose not to, since they don't care enough about their subordinates' problems (while pretending they are the most caring person 'my office doors are always open' etc)
GoodWilliam ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:27:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the truth. I'd also like to throw in the old adage "If you run into an asshole in the morning, you've run into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're an asshole" in reference to OP having "never met one decent person" who told him it is what it is.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only use this phrase for this specific purpose. It's a conversation ender and a strong indication I'm tired of hearing about whatever is being bitched about.
G_Morgan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:15:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is disliked because it is insincere. It is nearly always used by people in the power to change what "it is" is. They just disagree with you and can't be arsed arguing why the status quo isn't a bad idea.
johnmedgla ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:00:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's strange, because I hadn't actually associated this phrase with that. It's one of the most frequent things I hear from 'stoic' patients when you give them bad news (I'm a surgeon). I can absolutely appreciate that spoken by someone who could change the situation if they chose it would be infuriating, but it can also express simple pragmatism, or even a sort of catharsis.
pickupurdirtyclothes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a social worker who does emergency psych assessments, primarily in the ER. I hear the phrase in the context of stoicism as well, generally when people are venting about some pretty awful social situations.
The_Yar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:36:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only hear it used by people acknowledging a situation that they can't control and need to accommodate.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:23:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:56:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You know what, I'd love if my manager replaced "it is what it is" with this one. Even when I know I am getting screwed over, at least there is some humor in it.
"Jack, I have performed well this year. I think I deserve a raise, yet you are denying me one."
Jack: "You don't think it be like it is but it do."
wetwater ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:51:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boss is fond of that phrase. Pretty much if he uses it then he's washing his hands of whatever the issue is instead of dealing with it, which is why I now go over his head to his boss when I need something done.
detecting_nuttiness ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:51:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer "C'est la vie" or "what can ya do?" More as a way to humble myself rather than say it to others.
novelty_bone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:47:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i have, but think of this association as a general guideline more than a fact of nature.
noiro777 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:42:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually like it. Sure, it appears to be a meaningless tautology and is certainly overused, but I think it does have some value in the sense that sometimes things just need to be accepted and you have to move on.
hellothereoldfriend ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:08:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
because otherwise it wouldn't be, obviously! my dad hated this phrase too.
scramtek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:21:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seems to be staple phrase amongst fighters. If you're a pro athlete in a team, you can rationalise a loss. As a fighter, there's an inmate need to dismiss the loss due to "unforeseeable circumstances". Circumstances that everyone but the fighter foresaw.
It's a psychological self-protection mechanism that's hard to avoid as a singular athlete.
But yeah, it gets annoying hearing someone repeat that phrase almost every other sentence.
"It is what it is."
wackawacka2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:33:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was once commiserating a bit with my boss who had a terminal illness. He finally said "it is what it is." He let me know how he felt about it and managed to shut me up at the same time in a very kind manner. Nothing means the same thing every time it's expressed.
Skyblacker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know a former paramedic who uses this phrase. When you encounter an accident victim who can't be saved, you either say "it is what it is" or you end up blaming yourself for stuff you had no control over.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've used that phrase in specific contexts, not frequently. For example, when dealing with something unpleasant that I have no power to change and I am discussing it with a friend, it might end in exasperation, and a resigned "c'est la vie." "Such is life" is a similar phrase to "it is what it is." I've never really heard people use "it is what it is" in a bad way, though. How have you heard it used?
Edit: Yeah, if managers are using the phrase to avoid dealing with subordinates' problems, that would be frustrating.
The_Yar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's used by decent people all the time to mean, "this is a circumstance were probably better off accommodating than trying to fix or complain about." It is what it is.
BornInATrailer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. I use that semi-regularly. Whiel I think I've used it in a number of ways, I think I usually use that when someone is offering sympathy for me in regards to something that cannot change or I cannot change. Never imagined I could be judged for that.
Cpt_Tripps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so i'm on this direct flight from claremont (my college town) back to kansas city (my home town) for winter break. since its a direct 3 hour flight, its too short for them to have "in flight entertainment," but its so long that i'm gonna be bored out of my god damn mind. so, of course, i'm like "i guess i'm beating off like 5 times during this flight."
its one of those small sized slingshot airplanes that goes really fast but is really unstable and has one tiny ass cramped aisle. so i'm sitting in my anorexic bucket seat w/ my shitty peanuts waiting for the plane to hit a high enough altitude when i finally hear: ding "this is your captain speaking, we have reached a cruising altitude of 30,000 feet, you are now free to move about the cabin." "bink success!" i think to myself, "the time is right." of course i don't rush to the bathroom, no need for that. why not give myself a little tease. i gently, slowly unbuckle my seatbelt. I stand up, and stretch a little bit. I take a nice slow, leisurely walk to the bathroom at the back of the plane. masturbation this good deserves foreplay of its own.
i get to the bathroom, close the door, and sliiiiiide my pants on down and start working myself. oh holy LORD it's amazing. i mean, i don't know if you know this or not, but i am REALLY good at masturbating. I'm in a 2 square foot, dimly lit bathroom, but i feel so good my back is arching and my foot is cramping and i'm nearly ready to start screaming my own name.
then suddenly, TURBULENCE. AGH SHIT. I HATE turbulence. It's not that it makes me feel sick or nauseated. turbulence makes me feel like i'm about to die. So i'm trying to jack off, and suddenly the jerk in the plane floods my body w/ adrenaline and i grab the handle in the bathroom and i'm like "OH SHIT."
do you know how hard it is to cum when you feel like you're about to die??? I mean seriously, imagine jacking off while there's a guy w/ a loaded gun to your head and he's screaming "C'MON CUM YOU PUSSY, DO IT CUM." You'd be shivering w/ eyes closed, tears streaming down your face as you sputter through little snot bubbles just BEGGING your dick to come. "please cum!!!" you'd weep "i wanna cum soooo bad!!!!!"
so there i am trying to think of every dirty thing possible so i can finally orgasm, but all that's going through my mind is "god i need to reconcile with my dad and tell my brother i love him" etc etc and while i'm distracted in a mess of standard pre-death thoughts, i don't realize that i'm about to cum.
HOLY FUCK i say as i fumble and try to grab some kleenex from the box on the counter. however, in my stuttered panic, i just knock the kleenex box over, hit the "stewardess help button," and i cum directly onto the floor. still in a state of panic i'm like FUCKFUCKFUCK I NEED TO TURN THIS BUTTON OFF so of course i (geniusly) press it like 5 more times trying to turn this off. Naturally, the button just goes ding ding ding ding, making my situation seem all the more urgent, and i can hear the stewardess rushing to the door since i appear to be in desperate need of help.
"FOCUS SEAN FOCUS," i think, "I NEED TO HIDE MY DICK." so, (this is genius) i pick up the kleenex box from the floor, pull out 5 pieces of tissue, and i just lay them on top of my erection... so it looks kinda like a little dick tent. so, the stewardess, responding to my urgent spams of the "stewardess help button" proceeds to open the bathroom door just like i knew she was going to. She looks on the ground to see my epic protein stain, looks up at my glorious dicktent, and then you know what happens?? we make eye contact.
so she's looking at me, and i'm looking at her and in general i dislike awkward silences. however, this was an all KINDS of awkward silence, so i figured it was necessary to say something. so, i did the best i could. i look her right in the eye and say "... it is what it is..."
BtDB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Accept mediocrity!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because they want nothing more in that moment than to shut the fuck up about said topic.
In all seriousness, this saying has gotten me through some pretty stressful times. I think/say it when I'm super stressed/angry/sad/at a breaking point, and to me it's just a little reminder to concentrate on the things I can affect right now and let everything else go.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of my spouses pet peeves. He thinks most people use it as an excuse.
AgentAway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. It's such a meaningless phrase, it instantly has me grinding my teeth.
kyle8998 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:20:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I Dislike You Strongly"
If you say that to me then fuck you
PM_ME_MAMMARIES ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:28:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How much of an asshole are you that this phrase comes up often enough that you have an opinion on it?
Stoooooooo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:30:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I unfriend you!
ha_GREG ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:37:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works.
StealthNL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You guys wanna start a fight?
falsestone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know, right? Split infinitives just get to me.
macblastoff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah...I hate those people!
SabineLavine ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:06:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to get me a _____."
Also, "Where you at?"
(These phrases don't actually make me dislike people, but they do irritate me.)
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:23:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"[word] game is strong / on point"
"Can't stop, won't stop"
"THIS"
"#blessed"
"besties / twinsies"
"The struggle is real"
Jigglyandfullofjuice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw an SUV taking up 2 parking spots once with a sticker saying "Blessed and exceptionally favored" in the back window...
1dominator1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man I forgot all about "The struggle is real". Thanks for reminding me!
Springheeljac ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 15:23:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Patriarchy", "Rape Culture", "Privilege + Power"
[deleted] ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 15:31:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Springheeljac ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:34:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man spreading sounds way more sexual than it is.
souIIess ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:42:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is it then? Because it sounds like it involves sweaty balls.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:38:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: it does
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:51:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ezmar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wikipedia defines it as pretty wide apart, and taking up more than one seat.
Don't hate the term, hate the termer.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:17:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:23:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's notable in culture, there should be a wikipedia article on it. Wikipedia chronicles reality; it doesn't make a value judgment on it. Regardless of whether you like it, it does exist.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:24:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It has d-list actors whom you have definitely never heard of - why shouldn't it have cultural trends that you, and many others, have heard of? If someone hears about a current trend and wants to learn and it, then proceeds to read about it via wikipedia, I'd say the purpose is served. I don't think something needs to be Velostodon Approved in order to be considered "significant" enough for the world's most expansive, user-contributed encyclopedia.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:51:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice attempt to recall what you learned in 10th grade English. Ad hominem is a personal attack in lieu of a point. I wasn't arbitrarily insulting you, though. I was saying that your personal estimation of something's significance is not the standard that wikipedia goes by. For what it's worth, though, I apologize if you felt offended by my unintentional microaggression.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad you took my facetiousness as intended. :)
Ezmar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Better than finding out what the term means through Urban Dictionary.
souIIess ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:59:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And what would be wrong with that? My junk has to fit somewhere, what is the proposed solution to this?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Source?
How about this: on a crowded train or bus everybody sits with their legs at 90 degrees to the bench. Is that hard?
souIIess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know this was a thing, but now I feel like spreading to the extent of my abilities to test the theory.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly the problem is on public transit. I see it all the time. The bench on the subway is designed for six people but, only four or five men are using it because they are spreading their legs, taking away seats from others. It really irritates me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shebagging is just as bad.
Jigglyandfullofjuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shebagging?
Jaksuhn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:09:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to take a guess and say women who leave their bags in the seat next to them.
lagerbaer ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 16:09:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"slightly" http://imgur.com/z5dkA94
Don't pretend your junk is so massive that you need this much space.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:11:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2-3) Perhaps, but I see this bs in real life all the time.
4) He's taking two seats.
5) Both of those men have their legs spread past their shoulders, while the woman has it pin her knees together. In a crowded train, everybody needs to sit with their legs at a 90 degree angle to the bench. It's not hard.
And this is more than one person. I can't count the times I've seen seats taken away on busy trains by men and boys who spread their legs and take more than their fair share of space. I have never seen women do this.
davou ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:44:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that this shit wasn't and isn't and issue when its a woman's purse taking up a third seat. It's vitriolic to serve a narrative
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That's because both men and women use bags to take up extra space. That is not gendered. Spreading one's legs to take up more space, that is mainly men.
davou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:05:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking bullshit, Anecdotal and without merit.
Here's a photo I took yesterday thinking that this comment would get this kind of reply.
http://imgur.com/C4boGvJ
A woman, both 'manspreading' and making sure that her very tired groceries (which were on the floor till the person next to her got up) get their own seat despite the very full bus.
This whole man spreading garbage is just feminism trying to genderise the issue of assholes so that they can justify their clubs, action groups, charities, scholarships etc. As it stands they need to latch onto anything in order to prevent themselves seeming irrelevant; even when they statistics are grossly wrong, or the issues are fucking absurd.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Until either of us produces some stats that would describe your comments as well, including your picture and entire previous post.
davou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes exactly; making it a non concern for either of us. Arguments and political issues like this carry less fucking weight than an episode of honey-boo-boo socially. The picture I posted was not evidence of some conspiracy on the behalf of women to control the minds of men with sinister use of their groceries; it was a picture of a cunt who didn't give up her seat even when people started to stand two inches from the spot she'd put her bags.
It's all asinine.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:55:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ.... manspreading and male privilege are NOT some conspiracy on the behalf of men to control the minds of women with sinister intent. Nobody is arguing that. You are setting up complete strawmen.
There is no conspiracy, hardly any conscious intent. It's about unconscious bias and behaviours.
davou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:18:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh-huh
Right
Voila, there we go. If were going to talk about un-concious bias and behaviours, hows about the one that genderises negative behaviour so that somehow, EVEN when I have a photo of an ethnic woman doing what you're talking about, something worth getting up in arms about needs the word man tacked onto the front of it and a full week of twitter and tumbler backlash and an ad-campaign in the largest city in the world?
This is an issue of assholes; an asshole has a stink about it, an ugly brown color, but no fucking gender identity.
Okay, maybe I am hyperbolizing a bit to make my point; but
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/395821/why-manspreading-definitely-serious-issue-explained-feminist-internet-katherine-timpf
Fucking par for the course in this issue. 'The patriarchy' is the fucking godzilla and superman of straw men.
A woman who spreads her legs, and takes up another seat with her bags..... How "a little bit rude' of her. A man spreads his legs; What a fucking oppressive shit head, programmed by the patriarchy to be a cancer on society.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to sit down and opted to stand on that bus carrying by bag full of exercise equipment so any old people or infirmed who got on would have seats available. The old cunt with her groceries not only didn't liberate the seat she had, but actually moved shit from the dirty ass floor up onto the benches when she had the chance too. Excuse me for not wanting to buy into this bullshit for even a second; I'm not going to be silently vilified because I happen to carry a penis and identify to my birth gender. She was an asshole, I am not an asshole, and neither of us predispositions to being/notbeing fucking turds has the tiniest Iota to do with our sex, any social conspiracy, stawrmen, entitlement of race of gender, or anything like that.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're not going to even acknowledge the plane fact that people have unconscious biases then you are not dealing in a fact based world. Also if you're going to deny patriarchy when government and law, science and engineering, business, and media are dominated by men then we really have nothing to talk about.
Since, neither of us has hard data on this, all we have is duelling anecdotes. The fact that you found one "ethnic" woman (Btw, why is she "ethnic" and you are not?) doing this means little. My anecdote; everyday on the subway I see men and boys taking up more room with their bags and knees. I sometimes see women do this.
davou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fine, okay you want me to acknowlege unconcious biases; hows about we adress the fact that women are HUGELY more biased by in group dynamics than men.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15491274 http://www.jstor.org/stable/3792282 http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/87/4/494/ http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/86/5/713/
hows about you address the fact that men outnumber women over 100 to 1 in jobs that are dangerous? Or the fact that more women enter university in social sciences than Stem fields? Should we be hiring behavioural gender studies experts to design bridges? "Equality for the high paying glamourous jobs, dangerous jobs for men!"
Hows about the fact that in parts of the world, rules exist to garuntee women get jobs even if they are vastly less qualified than men, simply to fill out quotas?
Or that women do not have to actually acheive competency in a job in order to get it.
Or the fact that despite all this push for equality, women still don't fight in the front lines, and are only gradually being introduced starting next year.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:30:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Experiments 2 and 3 found pro-female bias to the extent that participants automatically favored their mothers over their fathers or associated male gender with violence, suggesting that maternal bonding and male intimidation influence gender attitudes. "
So part of this is that women are more likely to fear men because of male intimidation and associated violence.
Also, while this is interesting it doesn't translate into domination of government, media, and the economy. That is what patriarchy is. So unconscious male bias has a far greater impact than female bias.
Could it have something to do with the fact that women and girls are not socialized to pursue dangerous, physical work. And that those workplaces are male dominated and not welcoming to women?
Because STEM is dominated by men. It is often not a friendly place for women.
Source?... You know what, I'll accept this for the purposes of discussion. You know why this happens? Because men dominate these professions and this is a measure to combat that.
Source?
So, the male dominated military has consistently resisted gender integration so that this problem is only being fixed now and this is women's fault?
All you are doing is providing more examples of social and legal discrimination against women.
But, I have yet to see you reference anything that rebukes the domination of political, media, and economic power that men enjoy. Which gender has higher representation in government? Which has higher representation on corporate boards? So which gender makes the laws and controls the economy?
davou ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:49:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
also, producing stats on this issue is the last thing I want. We shouldn't be humoring the idiots who've made an academic career of being offended and oppressed by secretive councils of gendered Illuminati who control 13.5 inches too much of the bus bench.
I wan't those peoples career's to fail; not to see them paid for work that makes us all stupider.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok this is where the conversation stops. The TLDR of your post is, "Even if there was evidence, I don't want to see it because I personally dislike the people how would gather it."
I only know how to have conversations based on evidence. Your personal prejudices are not a basis for finding the truth of things.
davou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no, the TLDR of what I said is;
Studying manspreading academically would be like funding a government study entitled 'Boogymen and their high tendency to be black or hispanic'
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:45:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That is not obvious. We see four seats. The two on each end are taken and the guy in the middle is taking two for himself. If this bench is representative of the rest of the train car then yes the train is busy. At this point, he needs to free up that seat.
And I've seen men and boys throw their backpacks, bags, briefcase on the seat next to them. What I have never seen is women taking more room by spreading their legs.
Also, if we are trading anecdotes. When the train starts filling up I usually see women moving their bags to free up the seats. I never see a set of four men on a six person bench adjusting themselves to free up the extra seats.
Edit: http://www.criminallaw.com.au/news/37746/manspreading.jpg
Let's look at the picture on the right. The guy on the right is being an a-hole. The guy left is showing consideration of his fellow train riders with his legs pointed out in front of him.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
better yet, why are the seats designed for children and petite women? Why don't they widen the seats more so people can sit...won't that ease up the manspreading?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:47:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, we have to spend millions of dollars to refit subways and buses because some men refuse to sit with their legs straight in front?
It's not a hard ask. Just sit with your legs at a 90 degree angle to the bench.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when they're even shaming people who keep their knees even at shoulder width, we should relook things. subway seats don't fit a normal man's shoulder width...
Also, why can't someone just ask to sit next to the person? It's not difficult to say, "is this seat taken" and then sit and make your own space. People need to be less passive and more aggressive. Aggressive isn't taking a photo and complaining on Facebook and doing nothing about it. it's pathetic
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No one is doing that. Sitting with one's legs at a 90 degree angle to the bench, that is what is being asked for. It isn't hard.
Why should anyone have to ask for other people to act considerately? They should just do it. Also, a key component to living in a large city is not bothering strangers and minding your own business. So yes, it is difficult to ask strangers on the subway.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
half the photos online are guys that barely have their legs spread.
This whole manspreading fad is so ridiculous.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you serious? Each of those photos shows a guy with his knees spread out, taking up way more space than just one seat.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It genuinely hurts to keep my knees together as a guy. I think it has to do with the way our pelvises are formed. Women's hip sockets face more forward while males are angled outward. Here is a link about our "Q" angles. Men's legs generally go straight down and out...women's legs generall taper together towards the knees. When you sit, it's only natural that a 6' man bench designed for someone that is 5'8" is going to have his knees up much higher, and the hips will open the legs more.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:52:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody is asking for that. Just sit with your legs at 90 degree to the bench seat. Knees are not pushed together and other people's space isn't taken.
qdobe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what I see more often than that? Women putting their purses on the seat next to them and never giving that seat up to anyone, even on a crowded bus. Sorry to relax my legs a little bit, but it should be more infuriating that women put their bags and purses on multiple seats and never offer those seats up. I bring my backpack with me often and I put it on the ground in between my legs so that someone can sit next to me without having to ask. Also, I am a tall person, seats on mass transit are for avg. height people and because of that, my legs to not prop up naturally and it is incredibly uncomfortable to keep my legs closed. The bus is designed for shorter legs and men are statistically taller than women, who have an easier time with the height of the seats. what do you want? Address woman putting their huge bags on seats and never giving those seats up before you want me to no longer relax on the bus because you are offended by my legs...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:54:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:21:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The proper response is to wrap your arms around their waist and say "Hey baby."
compaqle2202x ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:25:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out.
G_Morgan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:14:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes on them. I totally advocate lap sitting if there is no room on public transport. Society is finally working sanely, albeit by accident.
souIIess ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:44:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Judging by the pictures I've seen of these women, sitting on another person could be construed as aggravated assault or even manslaughter.
double_ewe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lucky for you, my man cave is also my friend zone
Springheeljac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-wink-
ghostofpennwast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want my money back
docfiery ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:37:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one that hears this and instantly thinks of The Futurama episode "Amazon Women In The Mood..."
Did they use the Femputer to come up with these terms? The next person who uses them will be faced with death by Snu-snu.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:35:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's very likely. Those terms are fucking ridiculous and so are the "issues" they refer to. They remind me of that one eco-feminist from the one Futurama movie who calls a man's hands "mands", a space they're (the feminists) currently occupying the "femises" instead of the premises etc.
/u/Universal-Cereal-Bus brings up a great point. If "man-spreading" is such a problem then "woman-bagging" should be given just as much attention if feminists possess any faculty for logic and desire actual equality at all.
My one cousin is a bit of a feminist. Too bad her most recent post on Facebook was about how there hasn't been a female lead actor over 45 in the top 100 grossing movies each year in the past 7 years. Because that's the best cause to spread information about right now. Smh.
Springheeljac ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:03:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not even remotely true. Tell her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone already has, rest assured.
etothepowerof3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:05 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it top 10 or top 100? Because other than Sandra Bullock (twice), she's right if she's talking about the top 10.
hijomaffections ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But direct current is ok?
thebloodofthematador ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:42:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, "mansplaining" is a perfectly apropos term when some dude is trying to explain a woman's own experiences to her, or says dumb shit like "well, have you thought of just ignoring street harassment?"
You can substitute based on context, though! "Momsplaining," aka "As a mother, this is why you are wrong", "wealthsplaining," aka "why don't poor people just go back to school and get better jobs," "agesplaining," aka "Back in my day when I was your age I had two cars, four kids and a house, you're just lazy!" Etc. etc. etc. You can even have womansplaining, like "Yeah getting kicked in the balls blah blah TRY GIVING BIRTH!"
'Splaining is quite a useful term for basically any time someone who has no idea what you're going through because they've never lived it or clearly don't understand the situation wants to tell you all about how to react to it, why what you're doing is wrong, and feed you obvious solutions as though you'd never thought of them yourself.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:45:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:56:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Universal-Cereal-Bus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On their lap?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IDGAF not adding /s to my comment
Crazc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Animal Crossing is sexist? Oh shit.
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is AC?
Numericaly7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Air conditioning
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:49:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm being trolled here. Air Conditioning is what I initially thought. How can AC possible be construed as sexist? Is it because some women prefer room temperature to be slightly warmer?
Numericaly7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:02:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Supposedly in office buildings it's too cool at 70f degrees because men are comfortably warm in their suits while women who wear less clothing and show more skin generally are cold. It's sexist because women shouldn't have to bring cardigans to work. Never mind that men ussually have to wear that shit and are hotter than hell to and from work during the summer time. If I could wear shorts and a tshirt to work I would. Women generally can wear way more options in tye workplace.anyway.
Goonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriosly... If someone says any of that, I look for the nearest exit.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:55:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Springheeljac ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 15:57:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cringe.
Willydangles ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:30:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rape culture? What the fuck?
Springheeljac ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 17:35:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, exactly. Why do people think that a term that was stolen from a documentary about men's prison is applicable in first world countries where even RAINN has voiced it's opposition to the outrage culture behind it.
Willydangles ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:38:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really know what you're talking about and I'm not sure why my original comment got downvoted but I heard the words Rape and Culture together and that kind of surprised me.
Springheeljac ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:41:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think because it looks like you're trying to defend rape culture. Wrong place wrong time.
Rape Culture is the idiotic idea that, despite rape being viewed as one of the worst things you can do, having harsher punishments than most crimes, and socially destroying people who get accused of it (guilty or not), rape is seen as acceptable in first world countries and encouraged by our culture.
Willydangles ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:42:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NO ofcourse not. On the contrary I was surprised that such a thing even exists. A culture surrounding rape? That is just disgusting.
Springheeljac ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:43:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's an argument to be made for it existing in countries where rape victims are stoned to death.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Springheeljac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somalia, for one.
CaseParty ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:27:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Considering there are a lot of people who believe what someone wears or how they act are "Asking for it" I'd say it's very much a real thing.
Springheeljac ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:55:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, there are shitty INDIVIDUALS who think that. That is absolutely demonized in our culture however.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:44:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The people who believe those things are usually truly morally bereft, idiotic people who think they're entitled to have sex with anyone they want, whenever they want, regardless of the other person's feelings/desires. You hear about them a lot but there aren't as many of them as you might think.
CaseParty ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:52:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I know, but the original comment implied that people like this don't even exist.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:08:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I didn't quite gather that that had been implied but I might have missed it.
Well, rape isn't exactly "accepted" in Western culture but it is probably joked about/jokingly dismissed more than it should be.
That being said SJW's who freak out about the topic of rape and think that it's generally accepted are being insane and over-simplifying a very complex and disturbing issue/mindset by demonising people and society as nothing but vicious sex maniacs and indifferent animals.
A small minority of people (men and women) would rape someone but thinking/fearing that most people are like that and that society quietly approves/encourages it is complete madness as well.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:30:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To add to that I think the idea of suggesting there is a rape culture in the United States tries to make this a societal problem when it's really that a few terrible people are the problem due to some mental quirk. It's not that rapists learn from schools and their local communities that it's alright to drug or beat someone into submission and rape them.
ALotOfArcsAndThemes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:12:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are aware that not all rape is a case of a deranged crazy guy in a dark alley beating up a woman and holding her down while raping her, right? Rape is when someone is coerced into having sex they don't want to have. The method of coercion can vary greatly, and isn't always just physical force. It happens all the fucking time.
I don't know about you, but it's disturbing and incredibly sad how many women I personally know who have been victims of sexual assault/rape, where a guy felt entitled to the girl's body, for a variety of vague reasons that are all, on some level, socially reinforced ("she was totally flirting with me!", "Did you see how she was dressed? You know she was asking for it."). You can see this general mentality expressed in many ways- guys who sleep with a bunch of girls are awesome, but girls who sleep with a lot of guys are sluts....it's considered "indecent" for a mother to breastfeed her kid in public, or shit, for a teen's bra strap to show from under her top...The only point of having that female character in that movie was to act as a sexual reward for the macho-man protagonist...
There are these undeniable, pervasive ideas that all collectively lead to a large portion of the population not believing that the girl who never consented to sex with her boyfriend wasn't actually raped- because come on! He's her boyfriend! She owes him sex. No. She doesn't.
So yeah, rape culture is a real thing. And it doesn't mean that schools are instructing men to don trench coats and sneak around in empty alleys with a bottle of Benadryl and a switchblade, to pounce on unsuspecting women. It means that a lot of people think that mutual, expressly given consent isn't required for sex. Even though that is the definition of rape when mutual consent isn't present.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:30:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think anything I said would indicate that I think that.
Because it's not, and that isn't a rape culture. If I'm on the couch with a girl I'm seeing and we start feeling each other up and making out, or I make a move first or she makes a move first, and then we have sex. At no point did either of us expressly give consent. I didn't ask, "may I kiss you now" "may I insert my penis into your vagina" she didn't ask for it or say "is it alright if I touch your penis and insert it into my vagina." That's not rape, that's normal human interaction in the context of a relationship.
And you say earlier that the reasons rapists feel entitled to a woman's body and hold themselves above the law are social reinforced. That's not true at all! These:"she was totally flirting with me!", "Did you see how she was dressed? You know she was asking for it." Are not socially accepted or reinforced. Except for maybe that last one, if and only if the person is literally asking for sex, in which case that wouldn't be rape, obviously.
Furthermore, it being considered rude for a woman to breast feed her kid in public isn't rape culture, the double standard for sleeping around isn't rape culture (and I think is pretty overblown, but it largely depends on whatever social group that you belong to), and a teen having her bra strap showing from under her top being 'indecent' (which this is the first I'm hearing about it) is not rape culture, and having female characters that fall for a male protagonist is not rape culture. You're confusing 'rape culture' for a bunch of things you personally happen to not like.
Rape cultures absolutely exist, in places like Sudan, or the US prison system. But to say that society of the US is a rape culture is idiotic.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:27:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There are a lot of people"
If there actually are people who think it's okay to rape people because they wore an evocative outfit, I don't think there are many of them.
You're using the existence of a made up bunch of lunatics to argue for the existence of another made up thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Springheeljac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you misread my comment.
coupochingo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heteronormative
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck trying to play that at Scrabble.
Kenny__Loggins ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:12:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because these words are sometimes used by dumbfucks doesn't just render them useless words.
Springheeljac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The way they're used in first world countries basically does render them useless. Patriarchy is a theory in the same way Creationism is, and adherents of it use the same basic methodology. Rape Culture might be useful in describing third world countries and the way male prisoners are viewed by society, but not the way third wave feminists use it and privilege + power is a redefinition used to excuse shitty behavior on the part of the people who use it, every time.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 20:30:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Patriarchy is not at all a theory. Look at any picture of a group of people in power. They're mostly men. Read the bible's comments on men's roles vs. women's. Patriarchal ideas have been used all throughout history and are still present today. Just because tumblrinas don't understand the concepts or you are averse to them doesn't make them untrue.
Rape culture, in my opinion, refers to ideas like "she was asking for it the way she dressed" which is a real thing people do believe and say.
I don't know exactly what "privelege + power" is. Is that a specific term that's always packaged together? I know what privilege is and I think it's a useful concept in some instances.
Springheeljac ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:41:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree.
When I say patriarchy theory, I'm talking about patriarchy theory in gender studies which is a political ideology that has zero predictive power. As far as people in power go, it takes time for society to change. Given that not that long ago it wasn't common for women to even work the fact that we have women in office, as serious presidential candidates, women as CEOs of major companies, Oprah, etc... shows just how silly the theory is.
Of course there is still prejudice against women, but not on an institutional level the way there is against minorities and the poor.
This is not a commonly held belief, this is not something held up as good by society. A few individuals ( I don't know a single person who thinks like this and I doubt you do either) do not make something a cultural phenomenon. Rape Culture isn't a first world problem. Unless you're talking about the way we treat men in prison, who obviously deserve funny male on male rape because they're criminals. Look at the way people even accused of being rapists are ACTUALLY treated versus the way we view prison rape. It's not even remotely on the same level. All you have to do is look at the false allegations that have been popping up in the news recently where even when the accused were vindicated people were still standing behind ostracizing them. As I've mentioned elsewhere look up what RAINN has to say about rape culture, because it's apt.
This is more gender studies terminology where to be sexist or racist you must have privilege+power. Which, to them, means only white men can be racist or sexist.
I agree that privilege can be a useful term on it's own. If intersectional feminism actually did what it proclaimed it would be a useful and effective movement. HOWEVER, since they instead focus on scientists wearing shirts that offend them instead of things like privatized prisons and sex slavery it's basically useless.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:50:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I accept that a Patriarchy isn't a theory, that it just describes a power structure where men rule, but I think the idea is that the theories surrounding patriarchies and the values assigned to them are generally ridiculous.
As for rape culture, western society absolutely does not believe "she was asking for it the way she dressed" society completely demonizes rape, as it rightfully should. Some statistically small number of people have something wrong with them or have somehow had experiences that give them the impression that either rape is alright, or it's worth it because they can get away with it and they don't care about other people. But to suggest that that's a societal problem is silly and I think it's a red herring that gets in the way of actually solving the problem. It's the sort of idea that leads affirmative consent contracts and 'don't rape' seminars. People already know not to rape, some people don't care, and there will always be people like that, who don't care about the rules or societal pressures, so catching them, developing technology and practices that allows them to be identified following an attack, better police protocols etc. those are the ways to fix it.
Privilege + Power is a way SJW types redefine racism and sexism so they can get get away with being racist but still maintaining some claim to a moral high ground. As for privilege, it's obvious that some people are more privileged, but for me, the problem is that it's a generalization that lacks nuance, when really it depends on people's individual circumstances. I also don't like the idea of ranking people based off of genetic features.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty vague. I'm sure that every group has dumbfuck ideas thrown around so I'm not surprised that this happens with sociological issues either. Care to give examples?
The thing is, and I'm not saying I know how to solve this problem, that there are societal pressures in certain groups that actually push people to commit rape. And i'm not talking about kidnapping a stranger and duct taping their hands together kind of rape. It's more like when frat guys brag about getting girls drunk and fucking them or by coercing them into sex in a non-physical way. I just saw a video yesterday of some frat chanting "no means yes, yes means anal". Maybe they're just making a joke, but I don't think these are the type of people who would give a shit about consent.
I think it's a cultural problem and it does require some form of education preferably before people are old enough to have these ideas engrained.
Okay, yeah, I know what you're talking about. I don't think it makes sense to define racism and sexism that way so I agree.
With regard to privilege though, it may not be nuanced enough, but few concepts are. I think it should be a starting point of the conversation, not the end. I also don't think it has anything to do with ranking and anyone who tries to use it that way probably doesn't understand it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I accept that that's vague, sorry. I'm referring specifically to the idea that the patriarchy is responsible for everything bad. Not only women's gender roles, but men's as well. And not just when men are advantaged, it's also responsible for them being disadvantaged. The draft, men not being able to talk about their emotions, high suicide rates among men, etc. That's all the patriarchy too, and this idea that we need to topple the patriarchy, it's all bullshit. I'll totally accept that we should aim to have a government that represents the sexes and races as equally as possible. The patriarchy has become this boogie man that you can claim is responsible for anything you don't like. It's a red herring that makes it difficult to seriously figure out the cause of and solution to actual problems affecting either sex or gender.
I'll also accept the idea that some frats are full of date rapists, and again, I know it's not tying someone up and throwing them in a van etc. I'm a young adult, I've been through college, I've had friends of mine who have been raped, I have had friends of mine be falsely accused of rape (which I know is a false accusation because I was hanging out with them that entire night). I don't think there are many societal pressures pushing people to rape, have sex definitely, but rape is not something society rewards. Little pockets of it might, certain fraternities might, certain gangs might, but society at large does not and it's crazy to argue that it does.
And let me explain that coercion means forcing someone to do something. It can be the threat of violence or blackmail, something, but it's still making someone do something they don't want to do. And personally, I think women are just as responsible as men and have all the same mental faculties, and I don't think a woman deliberately consuming alcohol, getting drunk and then having sex with someone she wouldn't have normally had sex with is rape. If someone is incapacitated because they're so addled with drugs or alcohol, then yes, obviously rape, that's forcing yourself on someone. If I go to a cocktail party with a girl I'm seeing and we both get loaded on like 6 drinks a piece, and we go home and have sex, that is not rape. The thing about frat guys bragging about getting girls drunk and fucking them, that's maybe a little gross, but it's not rape and it's not rape culture.
As for privilege, yeah some people are privileged. My roommate's family is egregiously wealthy, my family isn't. He is more privileged than me in that respect. But you can't point to him and say everyone who vaguely resembles or looks like that guy has had every benefit that he has had and they all live too good a life in comparison to everyone else and so something needs to be done about this.
I also don't like the idea that privilege is something that needs to be stripped from someone. We should aim for everyone to be elevated to that position of advantage, not knocking people off of it. And again, I think focusing on privilege is a red herring that distracts from the actual issues of class and race and sex inequality.
Universal-Cereal-Bus ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 15:44:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha ha i almost donwvoted you then i remembered the purpose of this thread. Well done.
SheikDjibouti ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the rapist
Springheeljac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the piece of human garbage.
SheikDjibouti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:)
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Springheeljac ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no tolerance for that shit at all anymore. I would shut that down immediately because identity politics are harmful to society.
Brandondorf ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:25:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't eat gluten." If you have Celiac disease that's fine, but seriously, I find myself thinking so much less of people who tell me this.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:46:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. Good friend of mine has celiac and his diet is fucked up. I get so excited whenever someone says they can't eat gluten cause i always will follow with "oh, you have Celiac disease?" The 'what the hell are you talking about' look on their faces usually answers my question.
energylegz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My tests for celiac came back inconclusive, but I have IBS and my doctor has told me not to eat it. There are more reasons than celiac for people to avoid it, although I do judge people who decide by themselves to go gluten free because its "healthier" and then proceed to eat gluten free oreos and cake.
hoIIie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a server, this.
Because this sort of situation happens a lot where I'll tell them what they ordered has gluten, and they'll say "Oh... Well, that's fine." UM OK
Brandondorf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES! Or you have to list every single gluten free menu item
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:30:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever tried to eat straight gluten?
xESTEEM ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:35:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a vegetarian, but I eat fish"
lynyrd_cohyn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:43:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck those people for making me explain on a regular basis that I'm a vegetarian who doesn't eat fish (also known as a vegetarian)
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:44:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's called pescatarian. It is a real thing. What is the problem with that? If someone who is a pescatarian says that, most people go "huh?". It's easier to just say what you said, since the average person has the critical thinking skills of zucchini.
xESTEEM ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:11:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know what a pescatarian is. I'd rather they said they were meat eaters but only ate fish, not vegetarians. Fishes arent animate legumes, so calling yourself a vegetarian if you eat what is clearly an animal and meat just makes zero sense
jnip ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:18:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to understand why fish are not considered animals. I've never understood it. My step sister is a vegan totally, except eats fish. Never made any sense to me.
iamaneviltaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, in a nutshell.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/08/130808123719.htm
But peta won't agree with me.
judolphphph ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:39:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's no possible way to say that the only meat you eat is fish without sounding either pretentious or stupid. Like if you say you're a "pescatarian", you sound like I pretentious college hipster. But if you say "I'm vegetarian, but I eat fish", you just sound kinda dumb.
I was at one point in my life, a pescatarian, and this was always irritating.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:46:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So both ways of describing it are bad? How is someone who chooses not to eat most meat, but eats fish, supposed to describe it then?
judolphphph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I'm saying. When I tried to explain it to people when I was eating that way, I got both of those responses.
iamaneviltaco ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:09:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'd be a vegetarian, but I eat fish."
Want an even more fun challenge? I'm paleo, slightly modified (I refuse to give up my potatoes, they're too good for you), because I just enjoy the foods. What's a good way to describe "I eat like a hunter-gatherer" that doesn't make someone think you're crazy? I've never escaped a 45 minute long conversation when people find out, and it's really not such an odd diet.
Akihirohowlett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And chicken. Some also eat chicken.
BOLIVER-SHAGNASTY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then they are pescetarians.
DejaYou87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't mean anything, but...." is used alot, its like "I don't mean any harm" I feel like if what you're aaying could be taken offensively, then either don't say it, or own it!
It makes me instantly think your a fake person and I hate fake people.
green_speak ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:54:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YAASSS"
A few of my friends do it, but it's -5 reputation with me every time.
ParallelMrGamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you considered threatening invasion when they get low enough?
MargotFenring ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm praying for you."
Fuck you and your sanctimonious bullshit.
Indigoh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:31:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blaming anything on the patriarchy. Nobody knows what that means. It has no purpose but to deflect blame.
ArcticTern4theWorse ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:11:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I actually like Daylight Saving Time."
billy_bell ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:41:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The American civil war was fought over slavery.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:45:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
StevetheLeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who denies that the American Civil War was fought about slavery should actually read South Carolina(the first state to succeed) Declaration of Secession
billy_bell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it was fought for the state's right to secede from the union.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
billy_bell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:25 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly, Lincoln didn't see it that way.
S-BRO ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:38:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I support chelsea"
"As a vegan/vegetarian"
"Job: stay at home mum"
annoyingstranger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:03:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If child care and housekeeping are professions, why not this one?
S-BRO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:16:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because why should you get paid to spread your legs and pop out a brat?
Also most stay at home mums do it as an excuse to not work.
Also childcare actually requires an education.
annoyingstranger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:26:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling myself a stay-at-home mom is not the same as demanding pay for it. You might say it's demanding that you respect my time, or that I'm active and productive though I don't have an income, but I don't see how you can claim I'm demanding to be paid just by saying it's my job.
Or an excuse not to pay for full-time childcare and housekeeping?
Nonsense; children have been cared for by absolute idiots throughout history, and some even turned out well as a result.
S-BRO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well getting paid kinda defines what's a job and what isn't, tell you what I'll be a stay at home plumber and fix pipes in my own house all day.
annoyingstranger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:49:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'll never convince anyone there's that much need for an active plumber at your own house. Are you saying that a house with two kids doesn't have a constant need for active childcare and active housekeeping?
S-BRO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:23:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
School usually takes care of that
annoyingstranger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:49 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are children too young for school, there are fewer school days in a year than the average professional work-year, and there are usually fewer hours in a school day than in a professional workday.
It seems like you really, really want to believe that Every. Single. Unemployed parent is just a fundamentally failed person. Why does this belief mean so much to you?
S-BRO ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:36:56 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because you're ugly.
annoyingstranger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:56:41 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What makes you at that? Do you collect random, unsubstantiated, irrational beliefs or something?
S-BRO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:42 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not the one that gets riled up with strangers on the internet, sorry did I rustle your jimmies?
annoyingstranger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:09 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have any jimmies. I have principles. I often make the mistake of assuming strangers do, too.
S-BRO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:54 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Finding strangers on the internet with tangible principles, good luck with that princess.
indigovisions ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:34:08 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go back to your country
bluegumm ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:57:42 on August 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women who say" I don't need a man" but yet always gets their girlfreinds bf or gf husbands or daddy to do most things...
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:45:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they mention "political correctness".
TheBisexualTortoise ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:06:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's funny"
I have an irrational hate for this phrase. Especially if they don't laugh/give a fake laugh before saying it.
HellfireAgnostic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:46:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase they should use is, "That's amusing. "
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:04:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "like" more than two times in a sentence
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:32:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really like saying like, but I like it more than I like liking things on facebook.
MantisMB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's very hard to understand what people are saying. "Like, it's like, 30 times more than like stuff you want." What? My favorite is this gem, "It's like, [something]." Do you mean it is [something], or that it is similar to [something]?
snake_pussycat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:08:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just the type of person who..."
Not-so-humble bragging at its finest. Oh look at me I just like to give a can of coke to a homeless person because I just believe that we should help them all. No, you're trying to convince people that you're such a little angel.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:29:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One thing that stuck with me from elementary school is the sign that said, "Character is what you do when nobody is watching." People who advertise their charitous actions don't seem to understand that.
snake_pussycat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. It's hard to criticise though, because although they're doing it for the wrong reason (vanity/looking like a good person) they nevertheless are doing a good thing.
compaqle2202x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*charitable
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit, I was looking for the right word but spellcheck just suggested "chariot."
Thanks.
Isaius35 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:41:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yea, Pedestrians always have the right of way!"
-Yea, I'd love to bring that up after painfully getting hit by the car I could have easily avoided by being cautious of when to cross a road!
_Gideon_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:01:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't teach women to dress appropriately, teach men not to rape." I mean I'm all for equality and shit but what the fuck?
Point 1, There are no "how to not rape" classes, we just all know it's not cool to fuck someone who doesn't want it. Nobody taught me that raping is bad I just kind of know.
point 2, women can rape too. It happens, and even worse, its difficult for dudes to get help after the fact.
And point 3, fuck you if you say this.
EDIT: Punctuation, spelling, grammar, and all that good shit.
BlackMageUltima ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:01:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's my trigger"
Deadnotsleeping5 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:14:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"good vibes". Shut the fuck up you lame wannabe pseudo hippie. It's not a glamorous life style. Stop pretending.. You hardly give a shit about the earth.
notsostandardtoaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
idk man maybe that applies to the people you know but all the people i know who say this are like hippie, all-natural, vegan, one-with-the-earth type people. i imagine the people you're talking about are like those at coachella dressed head to toe in H&M and body paint though.
Deadnotsleeping5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:53:50 on August 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The latter is exactly what I'm talking about. The former I'm totally down with (my brother is that way completely). But the coachella people (for lack of a better term) are the people I truly despise.
LRedditor15 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I heard this for the first time a few days a go and I swear I had a mini stroke or something. shudders
OhHiGCHQ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:09:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's political correctness gone mad."
49% of the time it's people being considerate to a group you vaguely don't like but don't want to admit it. 50% of the time it's a quote taken out of context and mashed up into a rumour that's bullshit, 2% of the time it actually is.
Keevtara ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:10:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With a one percent margin of error.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:38:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thebloodofthematador ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:57:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, but "privilege" isn't the absence of problems, or the idea that your whole life has been all flowers and sausages-- it's the idea that there are certain disadvantages that you won't have to deal with because of who you are.
Think about it this way-- would you be 100% okay with waking up tomorrow as a black man instead of a white one?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd probably be freaked the fuck out, but provided nothing else really changed (ie. I don't have to go through my rolodex and explain how I've been turned into a black guy), I probably wouldn't be to miffed.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:00:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thebloodofthematador ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You were talking about white privilege specifically, so I suggested you wake up tomorrow as another race. It's called "staying on topic."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thebloodofthematador ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:31:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I think that will be sufficient, Ms. I'm Not Racist And My Best Friend Was Black and Therefore the Term White Privilege Is Racist and My Entire Comment History Is About How, Statistically, Black People Are Awful.
bigfinnrider ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:50:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because I'm white and I'm not intentionally blinding myself to the fact that no matter what I've been through I still had it easier than someone who went through the same shit but was black in America.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who went through the same shit as you?
energylegz ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:20:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That isn't even close to the definition of privilege. Obviously white people can have problems, and some white people have harder lives than some black people. But a black person with the exact same circumstances would be worse off than you because of the fact that on top of those problems he also has to deal with living in a society that sees black people in a less favorable light. It isn't trying to minimize or ignore your problems, just saying "hey black people still have it pretty rough."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So since nobody on the planet except for debatably identical twins share the exact same circumstances, why not abandon the idea of white privilege and try to be a bit more nuanced in who you demonize for something they didn't deliberately do.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that isn't the way it is used often. It has been bastardized (often, not exclusively) to some minorities assuming they have intrinsically had it worse off then their counterpart without any investigation whatsoever.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
iamaneviltaco ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:47:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that's rich. The person who posted a few hundred words yesterday about how fucked up and stupid black people are is in here saying how SHE has been oppressed and discriminated against. If you're gonna bitch about "having to look over my shoulder and wonder who's going to be the next person to let me know I'm less than they are" Maybe you should start with posting less shit like this.
Fucking hypocrite.
zengamer21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine if you were a black lesbian.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:23:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Thunder089 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:56:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
''I'M SORRY I'M WHITE, I'M SORRY I'M MALE''
Epistaxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You may have been through an awful lot of horrible things; this just means there's one small category of things you probably haven't been through.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 17:15:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Preach!
dabarassak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:26:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that sounds like a bitchy complaint
Madlibsluver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do what now?
FatherLucho ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:51:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh fuck, I hate that. "Doooooo whuuuuuttt?" I hear that virtually every day at work and it's enough to make my skin crawl.
Madlibsluver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Them feels
CM1990 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know its not a phrase.. "mines" like "that is mines" I literally want to kidney punch them
Hank3hellbilly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come on man, you make good money.
Usually when i refuse to pay for them or decline an expensive purchase
Meltingteeth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just my belief that good things can come from the bad things."
No shit, dude. It's called cause and effect.
Luke-reddington ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It was just banter"
TheTwentyTwo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not really a fan of YAAAAS BOO or whatever.
BryceSoFresh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I prayed about it."
Jelly_jeans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"People are too much drama"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I give my opinion on something and they just respond with that awfully overused and dragged out "same". Instant conversation killer
synthabusion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was getting divorced I had to meet with my ex wife's lawyer to sign something. He started things off by saying "Let's get a light on this situation" while turning the light on in his office. ๐
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people end a sentence by saying the word PERIOD! As if that makes their point irrefutable.
DownGoesGoodman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What are thooo.." shut up
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:04:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hashtag: blessed
KineticDream ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People saying "I'm so done" and then keep talking.
heyitsBabble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MileHighMurphy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe in dinosaurs.
salty914 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can be a bitch/asshole but deep down I really care about my friends and family"
fuck off
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By rights [I should be entitled to this] or [someone should have done this]. No, the world doesn't revolve around how you think it should work for you.
lamabaronvonawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YEA! You shouldn't have to put up with that shit! *snicker
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Elect Hillary!
thatlldopigthatldo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a scientist, but..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, I've used this tons of times. What's wrong with it? If I'm saying something about science I want to make it clear that I'm not any kind of authority and people shouldn't trust me too much if someone more knowledgeable comes along to answer the question.
ProbablyHighAsShit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but, [racist comment]."
a_real_nobody ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody* who says SWAG (*who isn't currently mocking people who say SWAG)
d3pd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Have you heard about Jesus?"
They're just trying to recruit you into their weird dictator cult.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We regret to inform you that your application was unsuccessful"
AKACombustionMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, they're not saying they regret that your application was unsuccessful - obviously they couldn't care less. They just regret that they have to take the time and resources to inform you.
TaintCadet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm kind of a big deal"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swag
Yolo
Anything with bro, brah, bruh
Using hashtag in real conversations
Mostly from girls doing stupid shit: i just want the whole experiance of it ya know?
I hate all that drama.
Herbalife is really good for......
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ? Nope go away
BrandonS3125 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't threaten me with a good time"
Not sure why but it makes me want to punch them in the throat.
AKACombustionMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't threaten me with a good timeโฆthreaten me with violence you wimp
Son_Of_Otto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I thought I was the only one that. .."
No you weren't
jutct ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm very smart" or "I'm highly intelligent" or anything about IQ
martinc31415 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the bible says....
Smurfy911 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
robcio150 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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AsthmaticMechanic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everyone's a little racist..."
shanesultan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm different, like I m really weird"' "I'm really hard to figure out, like I'm super complicated"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is.."
RepeatforEmphasis_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry I'm not sorry"
crankypants88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It must be god's will."
fyi, do not use this phrase at a funeral.
Andlenz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But first, let me take a selfie" hits person with a baseball bat NO
banksdignity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Malapropisms like that are a diamond dozen. For all intensive purposes, it's better to ignore them. :)
banksdignity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
twitch twitch okay. Lol, I do but for some reason irregardless just gets to me everytime.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back in 2007 on the 'chan, malapropisms were very commonly used to give people the exact same feeling you get when you see it. It's a maymay, now.
banksdignity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DAMN YOU 4CHAN MAN!!!! shakes fists in the air
_EnV ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't vaccinate my children"
officialbolo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have moment to discuss our lord and savior
fcukthemoderators3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Jesus says..." or "The bible says..." I know I'm about to hear to some religious based discriminatory bullshit or some meaningless, empty platitudes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, and "disliking them strongly" is a harsh way to put it, but bad grammar, spelling, and sentence structure makes me lose a bit of respect for people, regardless of the platform of communication. I wouldn't consider myself a "grammar nazi" as some put it. I'm not super nit-picky, but when people don't even put effort forth in making their sentences structured well, I have trouble taking them seriously (even in text messages).
batmanwithagun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, me too.
"we cn talk wen i cm bk" irritates the fuck out of me.
Boush117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time someone intentionally types a word wrong, I die a bit on the inside.
DeathlyKitten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist/sexist/etc, but......
core13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Misusing "literally". "Man, i'm starving - literally!"
Incur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On Fleek".
AsthmaticMechanic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What does this mean?
Incur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a phrase recently started in young culture to mean that something is perfect or "on point". It began with people saying my eyebrows are "on fleek", I believe in a vine.
Puskiscelta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
Ollieboots ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My faith tells me....
glock112983 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you heard about our Lord and savior Jesus Christ?
sdreal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pray for you." I understand this is meant to be a nice gesture, but all I hear is "I will do nothing to help you." At least be honest and say something like, "My thoughts are with you during this time."
irspeshal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"the customer is always right"
yaiknowright ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Responding to me thanking a store clerk, cashier, or waitress for their assistance,"Don't thank me, thank Jesus! Now you have a blessed day". Nope! I was thanking YOU, not the figurehead of your religion, thank you very much!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the use of a hashtag before almost anything
FR_STARMER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Make it pop."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that show.
Chestnut_Bowl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "LOL" out in real life. It disgusts me.
JuniorBaconCheese ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin'..."
No matter what words preceded it, "just sayin'" is always redundant and, to me, inexplicably annoying as fuck.
KingBooScaresYou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:57:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... No offence but...
Fuck off. If you're gonna offend me, at least have the balls to say it outright and not hide behind some meaningless phrase. I respect people more who come out and say how they feel honestly.
Potato_feet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a Chistian
Kibbinz3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kids these days...
Not_A_Unique_Name ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like if ____ Sent you" and "Like if you are watching this at____".
Boush117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY.
firstlady242 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
Rarnrnus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"gg ez"
wingo83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sentence suffixed with "...and what not."
newnetmp3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let me see your license, registration, and proof of insurance."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when something is "the bomb dot com"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't heard anyone say that since 2005.
edenholly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"OMG that is so me"
appletreerobin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hashtag
Hashtag followed by anything ensures I will not take you seriously.
SpiritWolfie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"AM I BEING DETAINED?"
EpiclyEpic57 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist/sexist/something-ist, but..."
ILoveToEatLobster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
Well no fucking shit. What a useless saying.
Yeah_I_Guess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
FiaSquared ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I NEED TO TALK TO A MANAGER"
erikaknowsitall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just a blunt person, so I say what I feel like."
There is a difference between honest and blunt. And a difference between being blunt and an asshole. I can't stand someone who is the asshole side of blunt.
hungry4pie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
check your privilege
TheKOPLiverpoolFC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The bible says..."
Lastb0isct ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Happy wife, Happy life".
No, thats not how relationships work.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shouts "Careful!" immediately after the bad thing happens.
Wait. That's me. I do that. Shit.
Cedric_Niggory ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime anyone says "hashtag_____"
Ophidios ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do it to it" and "In it to win it" make me want to hurt someone.
Clovus_Maximus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's above your pay grade." fucking dumb.
morning_cup_of_NO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You think you've got it bad...."
I immediately stop listening and just wait to answer with "dang that's crazy"
el_bomberino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The (air quote)"science" is still out on climate change.
mtmichael ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
....much? As in talk much?
narcolepsy_ninja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"See what had happened was..."
Basically people that have an excuse for everything and it is NEVER their fault. Own up to it, learn from it and move on. Tell me you messed up and I'll understand because to err is human. But to lay blame is a sign of childishness.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I'm pro [whatever].'
Usually someone that says this is really stupid. Life isn't fucking baseball, where you're on a team, and only one side matters. Shit is far more complex than you think.
wildsoda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason."
(Especially when said to someone who has just lost someone to a tragically young death. I wanted to punch their teeth in when they said that to me.)
kbx41 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"methinks"
Everytime I hear that word I instantly lose respect for whoever said it.
sab1432 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference"
aatencio91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hella
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Crossfit"
KrisKichoukov ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yolo...
yuyuswift ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a _______, I ... No. Shut the fuck up.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have an incredible business opportunity for you!"
_Conan_of_Cimmeria_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We work hard and we play hard" - Any work/organisation
shredhendrix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"he/she rode the short bus to school"
My daughter rides the short bus, so fuck you
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You should go kill yourself."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't be racist against White people" "Misandry is a myth"
Dick_Burger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everyone is entitled to their opinion!" Gets me every time. I mean, screw evaluating opinions on how informed they are, right?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is." Yes, I get it, you are the most lazy possible thinker.
DarkDubzs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only God can judge me."
If I hear someone say that, I automatically have the feeling they're a shitty person, probably because they have to say that because people judge them for doing stupid shit.
slashsighh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not even a phrase. "irregardless"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Allahu Akbar. I find these guys everywhere, why just last week I found a foot in my garden.
Alto_Madness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not into drama"
Yes you are. Stop lying.
derlich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like it or not, it's going in your butt."
MissKillian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This is Amurrica, Love it or Leave it." How about I stay and speak up about what's wrong with it and you fuck off?
gutterwall1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sjw anything. Either side
SmoresPies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
Makes me want to snap in about a million different places
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a parent...
TheRMaxwell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a Jersey Bitch."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am so glad no one has said "totes" because I totes love to say "totes"
PerogiXW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "triggered" sarcastically. It's really fucking shitty to people who actually suffer from severe phobias, PTSD, or anxiety disorders.
SamuraiJellyfish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
I don't get why people think that using this phrase before saying something racist, doesn't make them racist. If they weren't racist, they wouldn't even be thinking what they were about to say to begin with.
Soldier4Christ82 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:43:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe, gasp just maybe, we live in a society of easily offended social justice warriors who want to twist everything everyone ever says into a racist statement, and therefore "I'm not racist but" is a compulsive statement in reaction to such.
Nah, that's too reasonable; clearly everyone on the planet is secretly racist.
dtvhr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The term 'You should buy me a drink because I'm beautiful/cute/otherwise I'm leaving'
Sorry love, unless its your birthday I'm not buying, and all that makes me think of you is that you're an entitled drinker.
Down4whiteTrash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't mean this in an offensive way but..." (add in offensive statement).
Retromagika ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a person does something or says something super douchy and then sees someone is offended "Oh I was just kidding" Dead to me
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The non-apology: "I'm sorry you feel that way"
From Wikipedia: "It most commonly entails the speaker saying that he or she is sorry not for a behavior, statement or misdeed, but rather is sorry only because a person who has been aggrieved is requesting the apology, expressing a grievance, or is threatening some form of retribution or retaliation."
MISSINGxLINK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women who say "I'm a bitch and proud of it!"
I've never met a woman that claimed to be a bitch that wasn't completely surrounded by drama they created, or they were a perpetual victim.
Love_Freckles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Haha trolled you."
zBLAZE7777 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege."
everestsam98 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm such a foodie" Nah you like food. So does everyone. stfu
DiableLord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should respect my wishes.
What? Somehow in one sentence you turn me into the bad guy, make yourself the good guy and I would only be doing the right thing if I were to do what you want? Some people...
chelseewin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My daddy paid for it."
snow_big_deal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I feel that [fact]".
A fact isn't something you feel, it's something you THINK. Which means that, unlike with things you feel (like cold, or sad, or full, or that you didn't like Fantastic Four) you have a responsibility to justify why you think it using observations and/or logic.
oncie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you spelled Fagtastic four wrong.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Should of"
Omegaprimus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am not racist, but..." Have yet to hear the next words not being racist as hell.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it is what it is..."
CooterCrisp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God works in mysterious ways."
pezzshnitsol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything having to do with "The 1%" just tells me that a person is being intellectually lazy
functionofsass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling me "Mr. [first name]" It enrages me and I immediately distrust people who do it.
fightwallace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"agreeance"
maelstrom197 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
I can guarantee whatever is said after this is going to be racist.
Soldier4Christ82 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can guarantee that you're an ignoramus if you believe that it's true of every single person who says it without exception. Sometimes, people just saying it because ignorant, easily offended people lkie you make it your life's ambition to twist everything people say into being about race.
Joestac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Preggers
frankensteinsmaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know who I am...?
Yes, now I do. You're a dick.
Scipion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
total_looser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"hella"
Deadlock542 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So, the other day, I kicked my dog..." I'm very strongly opposed to animal abuse. I believe every animal abuser should have they're asshole bleached, hydrochloric acid poured down their throats, then lynched in the middle of grand central station. Yes Michael Vick, you too
Veldimare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God told me to run for president"
Anything along those lines.
I mean seriously, Everyone understands what separation is right?
IGetThis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, I have an uncle who thinks that it just means the state shouldn't interfere with the church, but not the other way around. And suggesting that is borderline blasphemy to him.
Veldimare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man... I give up.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone talks constantly and loudly about Jesus and their Christian faith, I instantly don't like them.
I'm Christian, and it makes me feel terrible.
NeverEnoughWhiskey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless.
m3rcury6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it is what it is"
it doesn't have to be, how about you do something and not vaguely accept whatever might happen.
cjm182 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day..."
It's the end of the day!! Never any need to use this phrase. It's said on Jeremy Kyle enough for everyone.
"At the end of the day, yeah? There are two kids stuck in the middle, yeah?" It's sickening.
korochan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i should tell you i'm a vegan."
because i will never stop hearing about it from that point on.
Fjorigar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Person: What kind of music do you like?
Me: Eh rock stuff
Person: Liek what?
Me: (ok whatever) ... well, I like metal
Person: Oh, do you listen to like that screamo stuff? haw haw
Me: (sigh, if we must explain further) I mean I like some harsh vocals if they're done well and the music is pretty melodic and exciting, especially extreme folk or power metal
Person: ... yeah idk...
[Later some other day]
Person: yeah he likes screamo music
TL;DR Pretty much anyone who uses the word "screamo" makes me grit my teeth, furrow my brows, and avert my eyes
TheTamrielTerror ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't know true love unless you've had kids."
I'm sure your parents, spouse, or any of your close friends or other relatives would be very upset to hear that you believe you don't truly love any of them.
DemonDrummer1018 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's god's will
pastlifedreams ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Live, laugh, love.
Jediguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone calling me "buddy" or "bud".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Evolution is just a theory.
scaudillmoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone is proud to have an attitude. I automatically know you are going to suck.
JimboLodisC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right now it's people that end questions with ", no?" or "what do?"
Raidio_Activia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When in a group of people and someone asks what time it is, I'll say "6 :15" and someone instantly goes "Actually it's 6 :17."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking shit about people they don't even know.
Fragilefish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Moths are so gross and ugly!" I always show a photo of the Madagascar sunset moth, to which they always reply "That's a butterfly! I like butterflies because they're pretty! Moths are ugly!" Do not spent time with these people.
mahtaliel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Feminism is bad"
IAcewingI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"im not racist but.."
ikorolou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At X company, we're a family."
Bullshit, no you're not. And if this how you treat family, I feel bad for your kids
Neapola ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...the _____ agenda."
Fuck that. There is no liberal agenda, gay agenda, female agenda, or whatever other racist, sexist, homophobic or nasty hateful excuse someone can come up with for justifying an us versus them mentality. People just want to be happy, healthy, loved, and they'd like a chance to succeed.
Donald__Blake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as a scientologist
annisarsha2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fox News is the best news source."
nvbn-rm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a <something>, but ..."
billybobjoecarl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:29:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That whole "it's so messed up that football players make more than troops!!"
Maybe it's because football players are incredibly talented and the NFL actually makes an enormous profit as opposed to the billions of spending that the military does while bringing in no money in return. There's also millions of troops as opposed to just hundreds of pro NFL players
Corpekata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just keeping it real" or "I'm just saying what we're all thinking."
Nah, you're just an asshole.
raniergurl_04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's cray cray"
100000nopes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege"
...BYE
Raiyuden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's meant to be"
No it isn't.
tucker23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stuff being "on point". Man I hate that phrase.
dermitcarb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone diagnosing themselves with PTSD, depression, anxiety and the like when in reality they clearly don't have it. I've been noticing this especially with early teens
20tidder13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it is what it is" or something along the lines that includes "humble person".
MyNameIsPearson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like memes"
IrishDesi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Must be nice. You can't do that once you have kids." I know that, motherfucker, that is exactly why I don't have any fucking kids. People act like I somehow struck the jackpot because I made a reasoned decision to not subject myself to the manic lifestyle of parenthood. I'm not lucky. I'm just smart. STFU!
GiggityRooster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Baby on board
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:43:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*Tells obnoxious story, laughing the whole time... Only to finish with "you had to be there"
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CONTRIBUTING UNNECESSARY CARBON DIOXIDE INTO MY HOUSE THEN ASSHOLE.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"omg! This is my song!"
gashnashmcnash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WAKE UP PEOPLE/SHEEPLE. Or when people share some extremely biased article on shitty ass facebook or call someone "brother" when they agree upon some extreme view.
BlueLikeWater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you, brother
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless...
(yea, I know the dictionaries have now thrown in the towel and are calling it a word due to common use but it's STILL the mentally disabled bastard child of Regardless and Irrespective that people use to try to make themselves sound intelligent and all I hear is "I'm a dumbass...")
BigStick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cue "I hate drama!" Cue "No offense but..." Cue "Vaccines cause autism." It's the same shit every time people.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything about "privilege".
snapper1971 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the end of the day.
chmod700 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says they "advocate for" something.
RobTheNerd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day". "Everything happens for a reason"
thesandwichmonster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can you just..."
This is a sneaky bastard attempt to trojan horse you a difficult or socially rude request. Usually also said in the fake nice way that's a hairs breadth from passive aggressive offence if you can them on it.
Mmm. Office work.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin"
Stop it. Just stop it.
__snooch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
Sekai_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Boys will be boys! "
VG_JUNKY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OMG no way
rosiemurphy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And he was like...", "...and then I was like... "
Sekai_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Boys will be boys!"
codymreese ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Sometimes I just turn into a mama bear...'
Why are you turning into an animal. Just say you get protective.
WaztedPanda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gay
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So, what do you do for a living?"
massafakka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sentence mentioning the need to be "proactive".
mistahwolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't even.."
RootsRockReddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo
frapican ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's about ethics in journalism.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a feminist"
itsaviolentworld ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate cats"
eventuellement ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amirite? (For "am I right?" an equally annoying sentiment)
UserIDsAreStupid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The War on Christmas.
fisher3030 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Brain Fart
not2serious83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After reading for five minutes I realized I fucking hate people. All of them. Fetid twats
AlphaWolfSniper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Deez nuts" pisses me off to no end
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My bae"
IbansDove ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well that's just your opinion."
No fucking shit.
bwware ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry I'm late, I had to stop for Starbucks."
alphalad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:12:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i was doing (insert whatever here) with the missus"
aName2NV ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I literally can't even."
Do you complete sentences, bro?
Whisper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wow, you're so edgy! /s"
No, motherfucker. That's what I think. Maybe you have opinions solely to impress other people, but I have opinions because of what I like, or what I think is true.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
NorthIdahoFella ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
What the hell else would it be?
LBCvalenz562 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother.
cakebatter734 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's hella (anything)!"
hypejdubs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Reddit, I give you..."
booda20 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey bud" I'm not your bud.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you please step out of the car
Dezerph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ayyyy lmao"
Filipino_Buddha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Money doesn't buy happiness."
Fuck you. I'm happy with my video games, my phone, and my food. Fuck off. I'm happy as a motherfucker.
Mndless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it is a lot more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but .....
OhioMambo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist, but..."
Jellooooo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the middle of a conversation where we're discussing our contrasting opinions
"Hey man, calm down."
I was calm, but now you're making me fucking angry with this reverse psychology shit.
LartisteDaJour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but".. the next words that follow this phrase are invariably racist. If they weren't you would not need the disclaimer
hoo_dawgy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's your sign?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You have too much time on your hands"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is" That's just the most pointless thing that you could've said.
madc215 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just Sayin"
wilburspeaks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
No shit.
TSVDL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not my job"
MediocreMario ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is" or "That's the way we've always done it".
I wouldn't be browsing reddit while taking a dump if everyone thought that way.
-403YYC- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"sheeple" "bro" "brah" "bae"
hatefacelives ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"cool beans!"
Upio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to have faith.
Um ... No I don't?
lapzod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:44:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sort of Red pill comment
jetblackcat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying something was done "on accident." It's BY accident, you ass hat.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pray for you"
MorningMaker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:49:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When anyone says "I'm the ____-est person you'll ever meet."
No, you're not. Especially since you said that.
Nicodroz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who types "please advise" in a work email...
JPfelipe95 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:51:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my gosh what's your star sign!? Mine's a gemini!" No, you're ignorant. Please go away.
rodeler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day..."
Oh please stop.
aintpayadlay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..."
tosbigtree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a person who works at a restaurant "I need gluten-free "
MisterBuzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry not sorry"
floridiandan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This!
dangerzone2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Estimated ETA"
"ATM Machine"
Those words are already in the acronym fuck tard!!!
Akedi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less".
Its "I couldn't care less", you stupid fucks
GamingfulLuke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Good morning, son"
WilllWilllWilll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
uncannylizard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"illegals"
Culinarytracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about them?
uncannylizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
someone who calles illegal immigrants 'illegals' is definitely a douche
shark_bayte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
using the word "literally" for the literal opposite of its meaning
malackey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm like, so random and awkward." No, you aren't. Shut up.
Soperos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae
Shmegglies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate those kinds of dogs; they'll rip your face off."
My sister's pit bull is the biggest, sweetest baby on the planet and wouldn't hurt a fly. Fuck you and your antiquated mindset. I will fight you for bully breeds' honor.
hard9649 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like beating my children
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"-insert anything here-"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be honest"
Are you not usually?
DickCheney007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when someone uses the word, 'retard' offensively.
TheOnlyTorko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bazinga"
Intrauterine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I have a hug too?"
Delmana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:03:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..."
Cindrum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This"
Culinarytracker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This^
MathCrank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey Buddy!"
Culinarytracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not your buddy guy!
xthebatman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your guy, pal!
supernovacarpetbomb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like lol."
Yes...A former roommates now ex used to say that all the time...and I died on the inside every time. She never laughed, just always smiled and said "Like lol."
happy-hour-hero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Google Me."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
โI can't even!"
So you're odd?
throwmeupyourahole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm like Marmite you either love me or you hate me". Hate.
cogentat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm concerned.
Codiak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Self proclaimed Assholes. Telling me you're as asshole doesn't fucking make it any better.
Waffleb0t ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sucks to suck"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
"It's not rocket surgery!"
"Anyhoo ... " (Especially anyhoo!! Grrrr ... )
Culinarytracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HA! I like all of these.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yeah. And Twilight sold millions of copies.
stephalina ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When girls call a bachlorette party a "Bach". Ugh.
AccordionCrab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know, right?
Can_Cannot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm the kind of person who..."
I guarantee you're not. Instead of talking about what kind of person you are, just be that person.
dgoode9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Believe you me."
Instant fury.
Herkles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If ___________, then you're what's wrong with this country!"
the_fathead44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, you think this is something? Well let me tell you how my past experience and the positions I've held make this current situation a joke, and I'm so much more qualified to talk about it and belittle you all, because I'm better than you."
2gudfou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say they don't like over used phrases or unoriginal things. Because I'm sure there are more people who go out of their way to brand something as unoriginal than there are people who use it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not trying to be a racist here, but..."
When I hear that, yeah, I know you're a racist and you haven't looked into the mirror lately.
sraperez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a Christian...."
iatemysnackpack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I vape."
Source: I vape and I have no friends.
GenghisKhan42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO"
ReakyBowser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sucks to suck"
majormisfit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This thread....I can't even
Stridertherider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same shit different day
Destroytheimage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm at a low point in my life right now sigh life is always trying to put me down.
Everyday. Every. Day. Please wake up and realize that it is you and not life that sucks.
i_dont_actually_like ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's out of my hands"
starlit_moon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anti-halal
TurtleSayuri ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything with "squad." "OMG I can't wait to go back to school to see my squad." "#squadgoals." "My #squad" I am sick of it. And it's not because I don't have friends...
cookmybook ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"ROFL!" FUCK YOU. "YOLO!" DOUBLE FUCK YOU.
Culinarytracker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How about Roflmao?
JellyCream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you literally are.
CazzaMcSpazza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason", unless you're not a hippyish middle class type then everything is pretty much chaotic as shit with little or no rhyme nor reason.
KoldProduct ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got friend zoned.
Qwerty4812 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Global warming is a myth
tbone711 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
finna
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people use the term eclectic
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sammich
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Because I'm awesome"
Insert 10 XD faces here
SuperFutureHendrix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm an anarchist"
protean1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This."
criszilla100 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Sucks to suck'
daneloire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ALL THE SUDDEN, as in "I was just minding my own business when ALL THE SUDDEN a cat ran by chasing a dog".
carn4ge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On tomorrow.
petermal67 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Rose_Beef ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a good Christian."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People on facebook when they say they're gonna clean up their friend list, in a desperate attempt to get attention.
Blabberm0uth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Science is a kind of faith"
richo3000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't you know how to have a good time/fun?" when person is doing something completely self-centered that they consider to be fun, all the while ruining other peoples times.
davemendez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You need to be Johnny on the spot." Who the fuck is Johnny?
JellyCream ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A Porta potty
bdubelyew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want my steak cooked well done.
BadSmash4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone ends a point with "Period. End of story." Or some equivalent combination. Fuuuuuck that is immediately annoying.
mindscrambler26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That invites me to keep the debate going just to be annoying
organic-robot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"___ is so epic!"
iamagainstit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
responses to these posts always make me realize how young the average Reddit user is.
somewhat_sven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Jesus Christ?"
mindscrambler26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would, but I don't like talking about myself too much
StickmanSham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It goes in one ear and right out the other"
shut up cunt and listen to me
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fuck the police"
Martin-wav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" I'm not ______ but.."
Donthechicken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The patriarchy, not a bad phrase necessarily, just overused incorrectly
MrFiskIt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you understand what I mean"
Of course I understand you patronizing mother fucker. You're no rocket scientist and I'm too polite to point that out.
ELUsyv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When are you going to get a real job?"
woogiewobble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The struggle is real"
sanktheworldswolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once had my barber explain to me how his use of the word "libtard" was justified.
Luke_is_an_idiot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You people..." from anyone needing customer service/support. After working in some sort of customer support/client service role for more than 15 years, nothing irritates me more than when they say that phrase. Look dude, I just work here. This isn't some company whose sole existence is based around being "out to get you." Tell me politely why you're pissed, and I will do my best to fix it. 99% of the time that phrase comes up, they're a jack ass.
Papa_D ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people recently become interested in the gym or fitness and all they want to talk about is their sick "gains". Or when some one is slamming a large pizza and they decide that you need their diet and fitness advice.
StarDestinyGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a born again Christian"
WhyIsMyDickGreen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
EDIT: downvotes?! Seriously you guys?
Jessa_of_Caerbannog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hash tag anything. A girl I work with hash tags all day. "OMG Mondays suck! #moresleepplzzzzz" "I'm hungry! #fatkid " Ugh
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"baby just fuck me raw"
no I will not fuck you raw. I've been practicing safe sex for the past 10 years and would not be where I am today if I was fucking every little slut raw.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
swag
Jacksonsback ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say roll instead of row. "That's three in a roll!"
Reaganomics9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity"
No, it's not, look up the definition of insanity, this sounds a bit more like perseverance
Slothing101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's so Autistic."
DeuceSevin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to thank my lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
HookDragger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"I'm from <place>. And we do <stuff> <in some "better" way>."
And I just want to look at them and say: "Then why not go back there and save us the insufferable annoyance of your presence."
edit: I also like to slip into conversation with said person every so often: "Are you sure you're from <place>?" and "Don't worry guys... they're from <place>" or "Its cool... they're from <some random location>"
The last one is a personal favorite cause they feel compelled to correct you every time :)
SomeoneWhoIsntYou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go big or go home!
Teerlys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do?
What do what you lazy fucker?!
djymm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Smile!" "You don't look happy" Does that ever work?
kuraewe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone refers to themselves or others via sex rather than man or woman. Like "as a female, I believe...." Or "were being typical males" it just makes me instantly lose respect for them and makes me want to just walk away from the convo
number_six ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless. It's not a word and you know it
Mathesix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be praying for you." Yeah, because it helps...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine isn't a phrase, it's more of a noise people make. It's hard to describe, kind of like a clicking sound, but not as crisp or clear. I think it's made with the sides of one's tongue on the top, back molars in one's mouth. It aggravates me, I want to scream whenever I hear it.
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to visit Bae."
I feel dirty just saying that...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Friendly reminder" ... shudder
micmusicfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
eninety2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hashtag"
leakproofhorse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not paid to think
zimboomafu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guess what?
Chicken butt.
Bigwhistle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is - wtf does that even mean?
TL140 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"no offense"
Thats saying I want to offend you but I dont want you to get pissed
Capnboob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..."
and,
"As a competitive Smash player..."
RagerzRangerz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's a free country."
Doesn't mean you can defy the law.
Benisar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Adults who call their parents Mommy and Daddy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..."
Unless it is something about raising children or where to get the best deal on diapers this does not give you instant authority on every goddamn subject in the world.
spotries ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody ever taxed themselves into prosperity
Yeah. Except Finland, Norway, Sweden, and Denmark
OogieBoogie1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry, not sorry." - You're a bitch.
Random-Miser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:45:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I want to speak to your manager", Bitch I AM the manager.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
No. You are not such a special fucking gem of a human being that you get to be a bitch whenever you want and act like it's justified so everybody should just accept it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's all good and well unless your worst is really bad and your "best" is just okay.
thestylist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You do you!"
Shut the hell up!
cosmicandshit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"JUST SAYIN"
MyKungFusPrettySwell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason."
You mean like, because there's a plan for me or some shit? What an incredibly lazy and ignorant way of explaining away what you can't control and, worse yet, excusing yourself away from the things you can. Let alone letting your "nondemoninational" religious beliefs somehow justify atrocities. Get outta here with that feel-good Facebook bullshit.
fangyouverymuch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No homo"
It makes me cringe each time.
ejbalington ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Try and"......sigh
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have to babysit my kids tonight."
You mean you have to fucking parent your kids?
rhinodad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wake up, sheeple." Nothing makes me want to never speak to you again faster than this phrase.
RealityCheck151 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When its quiet for like 2 seconds and somone says "awkward silence". No, it was piece full silence until you decided to open your garbage mouth.
Smegma_free ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's your sign?
mindspiker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very unique
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist but..."
fabulousprizes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege!"
rmeas002 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If there's grass on the field, then play ball.
No, you wait until she is 18 you creepy asshole who preys on little girls because he can't get someone his own age due to his immaturity.
pickleport ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase but when someone uses "arse" or "arsehole" and it isn't dialectal.
PhunkPhaka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Free beers for everyone!" from the clever douche right after you drop something as a bartender.
balancespec2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses business speak "touch base" "reach out" "direction" etc
angdev ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am a feminist/socialist/marxist"
Frosty_TSM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vaccines cause autism.
Or
GMOs cause cancer.
NSYK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless.
biorad17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: The circleiest jerk that's ever been jacked
BigMurch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to kill people that say "For your FYI..." those mother fuckers. My mother says "It's a blessing in da'sky" but she wasn't born here so I can't get that annoyed.
minibabybuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Trump would make a great president" instant unfriend and block
Ferwilhelm_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hehe"
saintsorfools ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not religious, I'm spiritual." What does that meeeaaaaan? As a religious studies major, emphasizing on modern american religion, it drives me insane.
AFistfulOfSilence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I take it as meaning they don't associate with any established religion but believe in: a divine being(s), spirits, energy,etc. It's personal belief rather than having an actual dogma so it would be wrong to call it religion
saintsorfools ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It comes off as such a cop out. Where do you go from there? It is so not concrete and has no actual information. It has no specific meaning and people will often say it in this smug "look how enlightened I am" attitude when they are effectively saying nothing at all. It gives this anti-established-religion vibe but replaces an established religious dogma with nothing. It doesn't give an answer to the phenomena it is rejecting. As someone who has no affiliation to a specific dogma or religion, I totally get the reasons why one would say it and I used to say it too. The way I used to always use it was to try to quell arguments against my non-religious-affiliations. It was more of a "don't worry, I'm not totally unsaved, stop trying to convert me please". I stopped using it when I entered the field and realized what an empty statement it really was. Now when I say I was a religious studies major, people will often tell me this as though it is some interesting bit of information or that it will impress me...when it really tells me nothing at all. It is usually a red flag that you really haven't thought about religion much at all or really come to a meaningful stance on your place in that realm. Which is totally fine with me to be in that place...but the phrase "I'm spiritual, not religious" gives the impression that you have some real stance without backing that up with any meaningful ideas or beliefs. My assumption though is that if you actually have coherent thoughts on the subject, you'd have something a bit more communicative and interesting to say. I find it comparable to "I'm not part of a political party/ideology, but I have feelings about political issues." Okay, cool. That tells me nothing, but gives off the air that you are "above" political parties. Now tell me something you actually think or believe or have a stance on. Having said that, I am completely aware that this is mostly annoying to me, having an academic background in the field and am used to having discussions of belief systems, religious history, cultural phenomena, etc. in very clear discourse, so people thinking that throwing that vague sentence at me will impress me in some way just leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. I've heard it 100 too many times. Now if it's backed up with something thoughtful and coherent, I will probably get over my annoyance. To end, I am not arguing that someone that says that deserves my dislike. But so it goes.
Frog_on_a_log ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You act white
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hella.
techipster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bro or brah
Vegito2468 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"years young". please, just stop
Wonderingwanderr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bye Felicia"
Really any urban slang. What are you, 12?
butter231 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I drive better tipsy."
crazybull02 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cray Cray.......just add the flipping "z"
giantsnails ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For all intensive purposes"
NotKeeganShiffer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just go do something fun!" to a person with depression
K4rm4Ch4m3l30n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the end of the day...
AndItsDeepToo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day..."
scrumtrelesent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bro, Brah or Bruh.
Don't judge me, I'm so random!
reverse_sharkattack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but..
mau5trapper2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can drive drunk
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but, (insert racist comment)"
MooseMalloy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never read a book.
Best_Of_Us ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
Do you understand that you're not saying anything?
commentsforhire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Why you mad? I'm just kidding!"
Look, just because your shitty joke didn't land; don't assume I'm mad. I wasn't mad until you said that phrase.
theexplanation ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, I just prayed about it a lot and the lord just led me to do this"
garcia85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The people who respond on reddit with "this!" or "I literally lost it!" Oh and people who say amaze balls.
zebal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"SJW"
Dwelleronthethresho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This"; Former colleague always posts contentious op-ed pieces on FB with the word. Not cute, not original. Pisses me off.
boywonder5691 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who use phrases like "douche nozzle"
w0mpa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do the needful."
I instantly want to end anyone that says that.
TechnoEquinox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Use of words like Ratchet.
Unless you mean a ratcheting wrench, strap binder, or wench, you actually meant wretched.
jb_in_jpn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
When agreeing to a comment. It shouldn't upset me as much as it does, I know...
miminothing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not saying Global Warming isn't real, it's just that there's not a consensus on whether or not it's man made..."
kbzero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh em gee!"
LeopoldWolves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There's black people, and then there's niggers"
makes me pretty much hate them immediately.
Perfect_Tommy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's not hate, it's my heritage
we need to take our country back
that's reverse racism
not to offend you, but...
lynk7927 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But it's only a theory" (โฏยฐโกยฐ๏ผโฏ๏ธต โปโโป
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Working hard or hardly working?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"bae"
Petal_Phile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I never vaccinated my kids and they turned out just fine." I want to throat punch these people.
mangopantsprime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If you use the word "irregardless", I immediately write you off.
Darwin is calling.
EDIT: Replace "irrespective" with "irregardless".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
mangopantsprime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My bad - I hate the word so much I typed the wrong one. I intended to use the word "irregardless". That's the one word I truly hate.
Luminaria19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guys talking about being "beta" or "alpha."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me...
I'm not even going to finish it. Because you know what they say and you know that you hate them
hydrosoul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey babe.... Babe, seriously babe, babe listen.
mr_sugarfree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This is America, if you don't speak English, go back to your country."
childrenbehave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm no racist, but..."
dackkorto1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Junco_partner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who make generalisations about other races or the opposite sex.
iPhoneHomes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sipping on white tears.
Patq911 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone whos says "SO".
I fucking hate that. Even "fam" and "smh" isn't as bad as "SO" to me.
JUST SAY WIFE OR HUSBAND.
warriorprincessdi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always say "The Mister" hahaha
Patq911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anything but "SO" is ok with me.
Mandrakey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone can be your significant other without being your wife or husband
Patq911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
your girlfriend or boyfriend then.
Fisheye90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I used to see a guy who hated it when I made that statement.
ProjectDirectory ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know your sorry, now apologize."
It's a passive aggressive way of saying "I don't accept your apology."
Saeta44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
Or some shitty variation thereof.
mrnagrom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i seen that"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Carl-Riser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is." Means nothing. Why not remain silent?
lizard_wings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
When middle age white men with soft hands talk about how bad they are, usually using cliches. For example, some asshats in my office today
"Look out, because I am TRUOB-LE." "Here comes Mr. Badguy himself!" "Those two are trouble with a capital T."
Oh really, Frank? You're trouble? What makes you such a rouge, man? You use Donna's stapler without asking? THERE ARE DUDES THAT SNEAK COCAINE TO 12 YEAR OLD GIRLS TO GET THEM ADDICTED, FORCING THEM INTO A VISCOUS CYCLE OF DEPENDENCY IN ORDER TO TURN THEM INTO CHILD PROSTITUTES, DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT TROUBLE YOU SOFTASS DICKHOLE!!!!!!
Edit: Oh my God. I heard somebody refer to another department as "the wolf-pack" today. Please fucking kill me.
whotookcramshackle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Please advise" this happens all the fucking time in corporate America. Someone asks a question and then says please advise. God damn it. Yes I understand the purpose of the question. The please advise adds nothing.
His_submissive_slut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
NyxPeregrinus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best!"
Orrrr how about you stop trying to justify being an irrational psycho?
xerxerneas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Um, no."
Um, no yourself, bitch
hownow80 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're cut off.
lottoid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Oz says...
Femmedluxe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I only hang out with guys because, like, I just don't get along with girls. So much drama"
Get the fuck out of here.
Hern_Berferd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
No. You eat shit.
Rhombicuboctahedron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who claims paranoid bullshit is real. Phones will give you cancer, cup noodles will give you cancer, or wifi will give you cancer. Because of the "toxins".
Black_Corona ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less." That means that you do care, which is exactly the reason you were annoying to speak English to begin with. Same with, "same difference."
Fauxbidden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep calm and ...
DevilsAdvokitty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not trying to be racist, but..."
b33tl3juic3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, the bible says...."
EmberRayne89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says texts or wears clothing that says YOLO.
It's just irritating.
I live everyday. I only die once.
dstetzer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hands up, don't shoot
stonefit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Totes McGotes!"
SlotTechRon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chillax
BlackCandlesBurn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Working hard or hardly working?"
I WILL MAIL YOUR HEART TO YOUR FUCKING MOTHER.
JugV2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, I don't want to have sex with you ever."
BadIdeaSociety ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's about ethics in video game journalism
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When somebody is ordering food and says "I'm gonna do the ..."
koser22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work for budweiser, at least 3 times a day I hear someone come up and say, "you can put that in my truck! HAHAHA" then I muster up a fake laugh like I've never heard it before.
TheLuper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Buy a pair of ear muffs
Problem solved
JustJayForNow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'My naturopath said...'
shas_o_kais ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not so much a phrase but if a woman quotes Marilyn Monroe.
falcopwns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
DCorNothing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love Donald Trump because he tells it like it is"
No, he's a racist old fart with zero tact and you love that there's finally a politician just like you.
justabagel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pray for them..." [used in a derogatory way]
lucasg20 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, they're all the same"
I sell parts for heavy machinery, I hear this every day from customers who don't know what the fuck they're talking about. THEY'RE NOT ALL THE FUCKING SAME.
Ammoholic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll pray for you
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:57:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"SJW"
buttnakedindian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:57:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is
shartattak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like to have fun."
WELL YES YOU DO, MOTHERFUCKER. EVERYONE DOES!
zachandstuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"_____ just isn't the way it used to be"
jmhimara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My life is complete" after doing something mildly interesting.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Kill them all and let God sort them out." The rest of us are going to be sorted out, too. When that day comes, I want as little blood on my hands as possible, even from cheerleading.
990minutes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The civil war was about states rights
FuckedByCrap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SMILE!
BlueLikeWater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My gf tells me this all the time.
mikebritton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't take this the wrong way, but..." Followed by a terrible observation that will require hours of therapy.
DiggyMcGriz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a cat person."
jtm131 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference"
No. Its not the same difference. That doesn't even make sense. Nothing strikes a nerve as much as that.
Havok310 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed
frictionqt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a feminist"
"I'm a Democrat"
"Black lives matter"
etc any buzzword shit you can immediately discredit their entire life.
kyleadam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:05:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bro"
Undepeteable ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reverse Racism, it's just racism.
Same-sex marriage, it's just marriage.
"I don't pay attention to the news because it's too depressing." You are adding to the depression of the news for not standing up for things you believe in!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How a large amount of college kids refer to themselves as "alcoholics" in a laughing manner when it reality they have no idea what it is like to really deal with alcoholism... Granted there are some alcoholics in college but the term is definitely overused
fattymcgooY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm an old soul."
So you are trying to say you are mature for your age but you are trying to package it different. Every time I hear this, I automatically think you are immature or you do nothing but sit around like an old lady.
itsalwaystheleft ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Did you hear what kim kardashian did?"
blj5033 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase where someone uses "legit" or incorrectly uses "literally" sends shivers down my spine.
TheChrisDez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"COOL BEANS"
the_guapo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That triggers me."
Jughead- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a christian..."
Havok310 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't hate on that too much, it's very kind of them to give a clear indicator that "there's a 90% chance whatever flows out of my mouth next is something you're not going to want to listen to."
Saves a lot of time and frustration!
Jughead- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reason that it bothers me is that it is just a magic trump card for why their opinion is more important. It isn't what they think, they are speaking for god.
Havok310 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:06:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. When used in that context, which it more often than not is, it's awful. It's demeaning to others of their faith (regardless of which religion it is... doesn't have to be christian)
Cytokine-Storm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:53:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the anti-Christian circle jerk begins...
Jughead- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, it bothers me because when people say that they are claiming to speak for an entire religion, it is an attempt to make their personal opinion insulated from criticism.
Cytokine-Storm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough.
Havok310 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not anti-Christian.
It's about being "anti people who talk like that", not "anti-Christian". It doesn't matter which religion you swap out for the third word either.
I respect people more if they just start the sentence with whatever words would have followed those 3 words and let them stand on their own merit.
There's nothing good to come from those 3 words... either they're saying it to make themselves feel better compared to the listener, or because they don't want the listener to question their religious beliefs. It often comes off as pompous and tacky... no matter which religion.
Cytokine-Storm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, I'd agree with you there.
fenn138 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is..."
Yeah, no shit.
Gaminguitarist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually say that, but I just prefer the alternate phrase "shit happens".
Sherman1997 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool Story Bro. Its just the ultimate tool thing to say in any given situation
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
Paulitical ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about having "Wanderlust". As if liking to go on vacation is some unique passion.
It's fucking not. EVERYONE likes to go on vacation!
Patenteux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother...
LifeIsBadMagic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That being said, ..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every. Time. "Now that I wasted your time with an opinion I don't actually support, let me tell you what I actually think."
DeNarr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you not?
VermillionRain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dat dumb bullshit doe.
Putting sunglasses on and saying "Deal with it"
And anything swag, swag related - or swag adjacent.
Pun_Int3nd3d ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am a fundamentalist religious person"
St_Michael_JD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense but ..." (usually something offensive) "I'm not a racist, but ... " (usually something racist) etc...
milkymoocowmoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I voted for Tony Abbott'
Sinistergentleman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love ICP"
"Whos down with the clown?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm bored
BackJauer10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm pretty hard core", "I'm just sayin" Hate these with a passion.
bukakebuddy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm the kind of person who..."
I hate you in your face. You are or you aren't, you like or you don't. Own your convictions dickhole, and stop grouping yourself with other people.
CoffeeAddict96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I mainly have male friends because females are catty"
daaboquick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Obligatory Edit"
Fuck you, you narcissist.
dEDg3AFQar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who justifies something as "it's common sense". Common Sense is just shorthand for "I can't be bothered to think for myself".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"on fleek, "whoop whoop", and "fun-sized"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a taxpayer...literally anything can follow that and I won't like them or what they have to say.
Cytokine-Storm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I take it that you're on welfare and that you're pretty salty about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not so much that, but more the fact that we live in a (supposedly) civil society where sometimes expensive things need to be produced for the greater good. So yes, I do get salty when selfish people say "as a taxpayer..." because it almost always followed by a negative statement regarding something that probably would help a great number of people, say the ACA, while simultaneously forgetting about their own privilege, say the mortgage interest tax credit. Don't get me wrong, I love when I see my return for MI each year, but I also realize that there are sacrifices for living in a democratic society. Side note, it sounds like you started to dislike me once I mentioned that phrase. I win, haha.
Cytokine-Storm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but there's a big difference between a democratic society and a socialistic society. It's understandable that Peter gets a little pissed when some politician robs him in order to pay Paul.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So if people in said democratic society vote in politicians who are more socialistic, then it's still a case for the greater good. People can get cranky if they want, but if they want to change it they'll need to convince enough people to vote the other direction at the next election. Majority rules in a democratic society, so in order for it to become socialistic the majority people would need to vote for it (greater good). Also, taxes are not 'robbed ' from people; they are the price we pay to live in this place that we all voted for. I understand that people who use the phrase "as a taxpayer" interpret that differently. It's their right to see it that way, and its my right to disagree with that viewpoint.
jtmarmon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i'm not book smart i'm street smart"
no you're just fucking stupid
deamont ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair you can be fairly smart without a formal education, however most people who say this are just idiots :)
jtmarmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
absolutely. but usually people just use it to avoid presenting any evidence that they're not, in fact, blithering idiots.
oncloudnine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And this is why I'm single."
heyitsmeshaz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going gluten free", unless you are a celiac, you suck. I bet you don't even know what gluten is.
wakeuptofallasleep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know this is going to be buried but this entire thread would be a goldmine for george carlin standup clips.
yanks9548 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Trust me" the only reason to say "trust me" is because I shouldn't trust you
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Political correctness.
benito823 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason.
WiffleSniffler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bae.
masterkee777 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Get er done" or "Living the dream" when you ask how someone is doing.
gosutag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The shortening of any words. For example, delish, totes.
cockvanrugmuncher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I going to need you to...." OK asshole, you got promoted, good on you. If you want me to do something just say "Do this," or if you want to be polite "Please do this." Quit copying stereotypes of shitty managers you saw in Office Space. Grow a pair, let them drop, and tell me what you want in a direct manner.
IAmALazerrr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fleek.
PoopingInReverse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Weed is a plant, not a drug."
No you dumbass. A drug is anything that alters your body's normal reactions. Pot smokers are drug users. Get over it.
SmokeMethInhalesatan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean technically cannabis is a plant, THC, CBD, etc are drugs. But when you are smoking weed.. It's to get high, so your consuming drugs stop Tryng to make it like it's not
iAmTheTrip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Deep.
On fleek.
jHOFER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you ask someone how they are doing and they always reply "Living the dream"
Almost always at work and always sarcastic.
inwardsinging ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Furever home. And fur babies
sciencelabrador ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not (racist/homophobic/sexist/other shitty thing) but.... (says shitty thing)."
gorillapunchTKO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I was at a nickelback concert last year"
Captain_GRIMHOUND ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"swag"
PeterGriffinsChin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Lemme axe you something" Also "Finna"
BecauseItsYourDog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's not what happened in the book."
Evilpagan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Have a blessed day"
GimiZigi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"but at the same token" I hate this phrase because people who I see use it have no FUCKING clue what it even means.
wordsinmouth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I bet you do/are/can, sweetheart."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not rocket science!"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Per se.
Doesn't make you sound like a pretentious cunt per se, but damn it of you aren't trying.
some_guy_blah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just being honest!
Placidcasual24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool beans.. fucking hate it.
RogueM8trix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
comes up stairs from bedroom "look who came out of their cave"
joe_sand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Handi-capable"
It's such a patronizing way to refer to people with disabilities and the kicker is that people who say it are doing so to try to sound less offensive.
WidoW_ExPress ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't vote, it won't make a difference" Heard this one today
Just-An-Asshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yet I've never heard an argument contrary other than "Well if everyone didn't vote"
Seriously, does anyone how an argument of why any one single solitary vote matters in the major elections?
LemonPledge14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Baby on board
ashmez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does this bug you?
MongooseOnTheLoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Refuse to sink" and it makes it 100 times worse if you have it tattooed with an anchor. That's like an anchors only purpose, to sink and stay sunk. Am I missing a deeper meaning to that or something?
whatwhatintehbutt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ayy lmao
CZILLROY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I was born in the wrong decade" should only be followed up by "I'm going to walk into oncoming traffic "
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mitchsn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone starts out saying that, they are racist.
Whatsamattahere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Why are you so upset? It was just a dog."
waymondisreal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I play lacrosse for a private school"
killerfishtacos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is". Go to hell. You've said nothing and contributed less. Comp-out phrase that needs to end.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less."
lynxkcg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"The Gay Agenda." I have to listen to my coworkers spew ignorant bullshit all day.
MrVilliam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Supposably
In my head, I hear blood curdling screams, nails on a chalkboard, steam whistles, and a baby slowly going feet first into a blender. Everything that person has ever said is immediately discredited.
Notmyrealname ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He just did a full 360" when they mean he did a full 180.
Broccount ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heil Hitler! jk those people are my besties
DAILYFOOT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone tells me what other people think of them. It's as if they're trying to get you to think of them in a certain way and being way too on the nose about it. I'll form my own opinions on you, thanks. And so far, my opinion is that you're a cunt.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know, the political views of Donald Trump are starting to make a lot of sense to me."
Hesgotstago ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My pleasure!
-bastards at chick-fil-a
jkubed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I mean, that's kind of in the job description. Not really worth hating someone for. :P
Hesgotstago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right...I'll just hate them silently.
Phishguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Grown ass woman / man....
Sir-Climhazzard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At work when internal staff need me for something last minute because they have poor planning skills and don't know how to be proactive about anything and they end their email with:
"Your prompt attention to this matter is appreciated."
No it's not! That's just a Minnesota passive-aggressive way of saying "drop everything and do this now!"
Take a number and get in line. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
drjunkie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it is what it is" needs to die a horrible horrible death.
followed closely by media saying someone was arrested for "alleged murder", i've looked multiple times and i'm pretty sure that police cannot arrest someone for "alleged murder"
KWS595 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Black Lives Matter"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have a blessed day
BangkokGigolo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less."
Please stop saying this every person in America.
Schneidz85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays"
SilverbackRekt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"live, laugh, love" - its plastered everywhere on facebook/dating sites/tinder.
Anyone that uses "swag", you can fuck right off
Senorito_Burrito ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Its Chipot-LE"
dj_fuzzy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not my problem" without offering an alternative or suggestion.
owlesque5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The only disability in life is a bad attitude."
No, go fuck yourself. I can't just magically wish my disabilities away if I just think happy thoughts about them. Which would be quite a feat in the first place some days, since one of my disabilities is severe depression. But that aside, that's not how disability fucking works. I could say that there's a silver lining to my fucked up brain, like that I have empathy or think realistically or at least I'm artistically talented or you know, whatever. Those things aren't untrue, but they also aren't much fucking help when my dumbass brain won't let me feel enough energy to get out of bed while simultaneously screaming at me about how much of a fuckup I am, etc. A positive attitude isn't going to make my heart stop racing during a panic attack. And that's only the stuff I deal with...lots of people have disabilities that they'd love to be rid of because life would be so much more pleasant. A good fucking attitude doesn't make up for having ability and independence taken from you.
"The only disability in life is a bad attitude" is really just another way of saying "I am completely ignorant of what it actually means to live with disability and choose to ignore the difficult parts because they're awfully unpleasant and inconvenient for me."
(Obligatory note that there are also people who have made peace with their disabilities and that's cool too. I still maintain that the aforementioned phrase is always ignorant and dismissive.)
Uptownfade332 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bae
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm running for President"
Mah_ree_tahh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like Donald trump and he would make a really good president."
You might as well just be truthful and say you like him because he vocalizes all the racist, sexist, misogynistic, ignorant hate speech you secretly agree with.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people who say bae
sweetthang1972 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Whilst..."
upchucknuts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when someone tells me what i shouldn't eat. Ruins mah day
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think donald trump is good for america is a good one to hate.
mysteryiii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You"ll never believe what X does.. #4 is crazy!"
avec_serif ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"looking for a partner in crime"
kyleko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother......(proceed to talk about a topic completely unrelated to being a parent at all)
kansakw3ns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's your sign?
Bubblymisto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The book was better. That's fine but don't try to down talk a movie I'm enjoying on my lunch break Steve.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"cool beans"
What the fuck does it mean? Why not "cool squash," or "cool melons?"
Slappamedoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't seen bae in a hot minute.
Like fuck you.
axelfoley69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obama's ruining this country, Nobama, etc. Mainly things along those lines. I don't even really think he's a great president although I think he's not bad. When people solely place the blame for all the country's problems on President Obama it shows me they're ignorant and that they're blind to the fact that the entire American government is to blame, not one man.
juddplays ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says 'I'm going to get downvoted for this'... there is often a time where I downvote people not because I disagree with them or feel they aren't contributing, but because they use that god-awful phrase.
surfkaboom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually on Facebook: "pray for me, can't believe this shit is happening, so much anger/pain/frustration/hurts"...I read it everytime but always know there won't be any context
chop_chop_boom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sentence with the word "fleek" in it.
MrHorrible2048 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone says "What's the ask?" Usually uttered by some management type. It sounds clipped and self-important, as if they don't have time to say something like "What are you asking for?" or "What are you requesting?"
smexicannn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I used to be like you, then I..."
Burea_Huwaito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you must hate a lot of Skyrim fans...
BanjoCAB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All lives matter" You think you're being a better person but you're really just derailing the conversation, and making it about you.
Newcliche ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything along the lines of, "It was so much easier/simpler/happier/safer when I was a kid."
On 9/11, I was 17 and a senior in high school. That day, my mom told me that when she was a kid, things were so much easier/simpler/happier/safer when she was my age/in school.
Oh, really? Was that while you were ducking and covering under your desk to practice for the Soviets nuking you, or was that while the president was being shot?
liamsnorthstar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae. It's fucking stupid
Masterofz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams
Alphaandsew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"ALL lives matter!"
MaintainerZero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a <racist/sexist/homophobe>, but..."
TheGreatHatman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll be a conservative once you get older."
I often hear this shibboleth when I discuss politics with middle-aged and elderly Republicans. I resent it for several reasons:
1.) It's a lazy observation.
Rather than respond to the sources I cite in my arguments, they simply wave off my carefully thought-out opinions as mere naivety. Not only is that approach infuriatingly condescending, but it also makes me respect their viewpoints LESS - where do they get off dismissing my perspectives when they don't even bother to defend their own?
2.) It's not necessarily true.
Based on what I've read from Jonathan Haidt's "The Political Brain", Chris Mooney's, "The Republican Brain" and George Lakoff's "Don't Think of an Elephant", people's politics are based on their temperaments and personal narratives; even though people DO get less idealistic and more practical with age, it's not like their core tenets and beliefs drastically alter - to a certain extent, people think what they want to think.
For instance, I disagree with Rich Lowry (editor-in-chief of The National Review) on several topics, but I don't think he's ignorant; based on his commentary on Left, Right and Center, I find him to be an intelligent man who holds a fundamentally different philosophy on the role of government than I do. I respect other people's principled, sincere political opinions, and I feel gravely insulted when that isn't reciprocated.
3.) It assumes I don't understand what conservatism is (and that it's inevitable that I'll accept it).
For a liberal, I'm reasonably well acquainted with right-leaning thinkers (e.g., William Buckley, Jr., David Frum). I see where they're coming from; I simply don't agree.
Case in point: I subscribed to The Weekly Standard to better understand conservative arguments, but I wasn't converted (truth be told, reading an op-ed that mindblowingly asserted, "Obama hasn't learned from Iraq as quickly as Bush did" made me throw the magazine across the living room). If mere exposure to information over time were the sole determinant in changing someone's opinions, I should have become a fan of "The Big Bang Theory" because I've periodically seen it aired in syndication on TBS (which airs it ad nauseum). Guess what? After umpteen episodes, I STILL think it's a God-damn nerd minstrel show.
TL;DR - I think the phrase, "you'll get conservative when you're older" is lazy, inaccurate and disrespectful.
duggabboo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Political correctness"
Nobody else flaunts around the fact that they are wrong in a certain subject. I've never heard of people being proud that they're mathematically incorrect or talk about how it's so terrible that geographic correctness has gone wild.
chellbelle3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who put their job title on Facebook as "Stay at home mommy" with company as "Stay at home mom". Never once have I put that as a profession description on a tax form; homemaker will suffice, thank you. Edit: I forgot the worse one - when they do that on LinkedIn.
themolemen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much any name of any sorority/fraternity. Essentially the entire Greek alphabet.
pianoman78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Adam and eve, not Adam and Steve"
Nuggetsbecrispy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a kid claims "Freedom of speech! I can say whatever I want!" as justification for being an asshole
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only good snake is a dead snake.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and
I hate rednecks
castmemberzack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do what I say, not as I do"
You know... there's a word for that... it's called a hypocrite.
Burea_Huwaito ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Black Lives Matter"
That is garbage, because every life matters
deekofpaen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like Microsoft Edge
Fanbelt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a person says, in all honesty, "I enjoy fucking babies," I dislike that person strongly.
Dark_Jester ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if it's "I enjoy fucking babies," as in they just really adore babies and not that they want to turn their sausage into an aeroplane and fly inside a baby.
warpenguin55 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:06:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Its a dog e dog world"
afganistanimation ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
USERNAMEMEE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"X" years young :D
Brian_Braddock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Christian and ... (something hateful).
biggestmexi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man cave.
DankJemo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone that says "Hella," Which is an incredibly unfortunate since I moved to California less than a year ago. I don't think I can go a day without hearing it at least a few times. It seems to be a west coast thing. I don't think I really ever heard it on the east coast at all.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No dude I'm fine I can drive"
Get the FUCK out my face with that shit. Don't drive drunk.
Justin__D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. Living in Louisiana, which has the second highest car insurance rates in the country, that happens way too much here. Which is why things happen like two separate vehicles driving into two separate buildings in my town in the same night. Granted, pretty much all of Louisiana aside from New Orleans sucks serious ass, so it's pretty miserable being sober here, but...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But Fox News said ______."
corvid_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power"
smirks_knowingly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For all intensive purposes..."
Pornfreak2424 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can you keep it down please? I have a headache." "A head like that aught to ache!"
My blood boils every time I hear that.
ZuperCreeper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're too old for x
QueenofDemo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm against abortion."
LotharWilhelm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is real music. No, all music is real music
mattmasher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"take a selfie with me"
WarlockSyno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's epic" .. No. No it's not. A journey across the continent is epic. Not that rap song.
thekillerofnugs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Then what do you eat?"
I am vegetarian
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not for nothing
churnbetter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Quote, unquote".
PlansBandC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase with "irregardless".
sightlab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling me (or anyone else) what it's called. "It's called having basic respect for people". Really? Is that what they named it? Cuz from my side it would be called "Dont open your car door into traffic and I won't yell swears at you", but really it's not called anything. People who sum up their personal views and theories and experiences by explaining "what it's called" drive me fucking insane. It's called not compartmentalizing shit and patronizing those around you.
anooblol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not book smart I'm street smart! Used as an excuse for your stupidity. ... Because you're most likely not smart at all if you say this.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate my generation..."
Shut the fuck up
shelly12345678 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who pronounces meme "me-me". Is that even a thing??
spiderhero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:18:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
siberian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be honest with you"
Really? So everything else you say is a lie? Prick.
PimpedKoala ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae.
Fuck those people.
EixuLuxie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I feel like"
jffah1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"WAKE UP SHEEPLE"..
You know it's about to involve jet fuel or some other BS.
kdupont ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you make me a website? I don't have money but in will give you a percent of profit earned. It's gonna be huge and revolutionize the _______ industry! Trust me.
kyleaw17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" Hey Brah, sweet tattoo. If I got that, I would have done this and changed this, and got this part in a different color." Cool, got get your own fucking tattoo.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Live laugh love" If you meet a girl with this on her wall, smash and dash
DemonSomething ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Pacifically...
G8kpr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wow, you're tall"
yes.. I've been this way most of my life, i've noticed..
"Did you / do you play basketball?"
No, physical height does not equate to a better than average athletic ability in the popular sport known as basketball
"you should play football"
see above
"you would be good"
no I wouldn't
"how tall are you?"
how large are your breasts?
"you know what they say about tall people?"
they'll kick you in the teeth?
"life must be so great being tall, you can get anything on a high shelf and see over crowds"
have you ever tried to buy size 13 shoes, pants that are actually long enough, or sit on a bus or airplane with legs these long?
Jay_Bonk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling Nietzsche's idea of the ubermensch racist.
-kel- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry, I had a brain fart." No.
ssaxamaphone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
definitely "It is what it is" NO SHIT!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sucks to suck
ryanisrufus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't READ! (Said with an air of accomplishment)
supertweak54 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase that is derogatory about women.
VetMichael ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is..."
Fuck you.
internetlad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a feminist"
Bring on the downvotes, /r/twoxchromosomes.
snillocnioe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is "everything happens for a reason" not here yet?
alienskullbong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, ...
snaazer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll have an expresso" / "I expecially don't like...".
its my ear sandpaper
jubilee943 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
Umm...no its what you make of it!
neigy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God Bless America
Thank you for fighting for our freedoms
I'm a Democrat/Republican
OmarGoodness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm voting for Trump.
RacistJudicata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word "bae." Fuck that, quit being lazy and put in the extra B, you sound like a fucking imbecile.
scrappydooooo117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On Tinder: "I'm fluent in Sarcasm"
Great. So is literally every-fucking-body else that isn't boring.
Cimetta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
blessed!
NoFairYouCheated ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"[blank] is a social construct!" Yeah, no shit, almost everything is a social construct. And just because something is a social construct, doesn't make it inherently bad...
GoinWithThePhloem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best," says every hot mess I've ever met.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1 Like = 1 Prayer 1 Share = 10 Prayers
newfrank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Omg, you're a geologist? Don't you know your killing the earth?"
No I'm not you fucking moron. Not only is it necessary to have a reclamation plan set up before opening a mine, we also need to have constant environmental checks to make sure everything is in order.
"I just think that all mines should be shut down."
You like your iPhone? How about the fork you're using to eat your salad in that bowl you fucking hippie. If it can't be grown it has to be mined.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a really high pain tolerance
odiggz360 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says fleek or bae
Mambutu_OMalley ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you know who i am?" No and i dont care becuase you are an asshole...
eoliveri ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
kinko_vox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was clutch.
Mudblood_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I'm vegan'
Casimir34 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not even a phrase, but the word "guesstimate"
move_zee_chains ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody who uses the words "swag" or "ratchet."
mattlag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "across" as if it had a "t" at the end.
"Oh, it's just acrosst the street!"
noahsygg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black people cannot be racist.
Rob1855 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Roll Tide"
Hanta3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thank you much!"
Fuck off. When did that become colloquially okay? It sounds like shit. Like nails on a chalk board. "Thank you very much" or nothing.
senddickpics- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The $ after the number.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
spartan44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"im not racist but...." thats when you know they are.
WorriedBubbles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone uses the word 'sheeple'.
goldfishsmiles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hubby" instead of "husband"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..."
TraumaticTramAddict ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who STILL say "ain't nobody got time fo' dat!" Ugh.
Slapdog238 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who seriously uses the word "haters". Yeah Mandy, that means you.
wickerwaka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Point out obvious flaw in their argument
Them: Well, that's the exception that proves the rule!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TraumaticTramAddict ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hashtag
Roraan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This statement is fine, when used with some sort of irony or humour. Using it legitimately is just stupid.
ferguson_cop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "nope" when no one asked them a question or when they see a thing they don't like.
Bits-N-Kibbles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Agree to disagree"
No. Fuck you. You can't just cop-out because you're argument is weak shit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ReadyForHillary
AW12321 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Comparing anything to the Holocaust.
Roraan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Comparing anything to the Holocaust except for the Holodomor.
FTFY
aspoels ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger.
What if you get Lyme disease and your health is impaired for the rest of your life? What if you loose a limb or two? That sure doesn't make you stronger.
Anonymoose9311 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses the word fleek.
AnimeIRL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"doctor who is my favorite tv show"
ctl7g ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is Pepsi OK?
DrHouseWitchDoctor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I keep whining and whining until I win'
Phalinx666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "HYPE" or "Swagger".
cmdrqfortescue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For all intensive purposes".
Holy shit you are a dumbass.
Azorr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm such a geek!"
No, spending 12 hours a day on Facebook doesn't make you a geek, sorry.
8-Bitz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On fleek" "check your privilege" "trigger warning" anything about crossfitting, veganism or atheism. Not to pick on these groups but some of them never shut the fuck up about it.
CJ090 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Preggers and hubby. Use it in front of me and I will maim you.
Irishred88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"__________ is destroying our country!"
Any hyperbolic statement like this is inexcusable, unless it is literally true.
"That's the joke."
Don't condescend me, prick >:(
Cew1990 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when people say "motor bike" instead of motorcycle
ChicagoFaucet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, just plain "bike". Which kind?
iComeInPeices ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sup cracker.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "bet that"
DanGarion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
And
It is what it is...
penmonicus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you watch The Big Bang Theory?"
Manakel93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily a phrase, but using the word 'patriarchy' in a sentence unironically.
superchalupa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello, my name is Donald Trump."
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah nah nah, I just get ready to laugh. Fuck I hope he becomes president, you Americans are going to entertain me for a whole three years if it happens.
the_stronzo_bestiale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"All lives matter."
Yes, they fucking do, but you seem to be fucking ignorant to the fact that we (in the U.S., at least) routinely treat people of color as if their lives don't. "Black lives matter too" isn't as fucking catchy, you well-meaning but ignorant cunt nugget.
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the problem with countering black lives matter with all lives matter is that at the moment, black lives are the ones that seem to be having a value problem.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has happened to me a ridiculous number of times. I introduce myself to someone, often one of the first topics is what I do for a living. I tell them that I'm a mechanical engineer. I always get these guys (and it's always men, I think in some ways women are less insecure than men) that say "yeah, I know an engineer, he's the dumbest guy I know." or "well, you may be book smart but you're not street smart" (this, they can tell within 1 minute of meeting me, of course) or "yeah, I went to school to be an engineer, but decided to be a [much less school intensive career] instead" (like they ARE smart enough, but just decided they really wanted that journalism degree they will never use). Or, in conversations that I would have had before my degree, would have gone fine, but now that I have my degree a lighthearted disagreement ends in "you just think you know everything!" or "you think you can never be wrong!". I know there are people of every occupation that have a chip on their shoulder, but here's what most people don't understand about engineers. It's really hard for us to feel smart, because our work makes us feel stupid every stinkin' day. We are given nearly impossible tasks by management, and are looked at like idiots when we say we need more time and more money to figure it out. We have product failures. We make stupid mistakes, and when we are peer reviewed they are (hopefully) all found, discussed, and documented. For 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, I don't have the luxury of feeling like I know it all, because I don't, and I can't bullshit my way into making a product work.
TL;DR if you belittle my occupation within 30 seconds of learning what I do for a living, you show yourself to be very insecure.
SassyWhaleWatching ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When someone upsets me, I always just walk away and forget about it." No you don't damnit.
NocturnalQuill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God doesn't give you what you can't handle"
Ever been to a cemetery?
Terry614 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I don't read.
Slick_With_Feces ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"HAVIN' FUN YET??? HAHA!!!!"
Fugidy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my worst. You don't deserve me at my best.
Gonker_Walrus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just being honest." As if this is a reasonable excuse for being an asshole.
Statistical_Insanity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Oldie but goodie"
fuck you, neither of those are real words.
"AM I BEING DETAINED"
fuck you, you aren't a lawyer so quit trying to act like you know what the fuck you're talking about just because you managed watch a few YouTube videos of people being dickheads to cops.
wow97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist..... but insert very racial generalization"
wow97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know my name, not my story"
wow97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could've done sooooooooo much better in high school/college, I just didn't try"
adoomedcarrot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything Donald Trump says. Ever.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
NerdAlurt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hashtag [anything]!"
eleventy12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:37:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For all intensive purposes,..."
eva4eva ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:37:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Someone's got a case of the Mondays!"
brianonline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'dadbod' ...... in any context
RayFinkleO5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Carlos Mencia "deh deh duh" would usually skyrocket you to the top of my shit list.
swb1003 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have a penis"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hashtag<insert some emotion here>"
liledlover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On tinder "I don't know why I can't find a quality guy who wants more than sex."
axberka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"thats not real music, THIS IS REAL MUSIC"
attainableapex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a(n) _____.
Eltrutflow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So at crossfit the other day...
cherryPR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be honest..."
brianonline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'first world problems'
TheStumpyOne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
It's the right mixture of juvenile and laziness.
psycharious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very similar to "it's all relative."
HeRantsAboutNothing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Life's not fair"
Of course it's true. It's true because of people who use excuses much like that cop-out excuse to not treat others fairly. Like, "life's not fair, so it's OK for me to be a piece of shit!"
kaylaakitty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The struggle (or anything else in place of struggle) is real"
rublesjones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
Tdude1196 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just Chill out" When you're clearly acting normally.
Like there is no lower point I can go from here, what are you even saying?
DrDraek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"shouldn't of" instead of "shouldn't have"
lunasolaris ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but a word: irregardless.
HairBrian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One that begins with a word like premier, advanced, or smart. If it contains green, eco, or any form of engineering (that is not uniquely innovative and technically sound) I might lay my head back and close my eyes... in anticipation of the piรจce de la rรฉsistance... the final straw and most idiotic of over-used descriptive terms: system. If it ends up as being some jackass's system I can step in and guarantee it won't do what he implies it can do. And it won't really be eco-friendly, or smart. It may be a system i.e. that it produces systemic and systematic failures. It will require engineering for its engineered aspects, and common sense to remedy its advanced features.
resurrexia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BAE. It's so fucking obnoxious.
mrwhibbley ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any double negatives such as "I don't got no money" or the use of the words "ain't" or "Let me Axe (Ask) you a question"
renboZOM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How about "I seen" instead of "I saw"? Makes me grind my teeth.
mrwhibbley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call it "ghetto speak" which I was told is racist. But I see plenty of ghetto white trash talking this way. My brother-in-law for instance.
Trickform ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sooo ratchet right now"
dotadodger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello."
I mean, just... such assholes.
Shanerion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's racist."
"That's sexist."
"I'm offended because of X, Y or Z."
Basically I just can't stand political correctness.
psycharious ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:06:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, people can be very niggardly when it comes to how others speak.
Sacchryn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't like to read."
thinsoldier ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"artist"
train-hopper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"you know my name, not my story" I hate that shit, we all know your name, and your story, its all over snap chat
DANTAR4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is blank gluten free?
tohrd2cntrl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OMG lets take a selfie.
STAHP. PLEASE.
JulesCoast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"ABC product is doing gang-busters."
No real reason, I just hate that phrase.
HebrewZombie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Have a good one" have a good what?
satan_titz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses that dumb marilyn monroe quote.
OldSpaceChaos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm no racist but. ...
Don155 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, actually, If you think about it..."
There was a kid in High school that always said that to me when in conversation. You're implying that I haven't thought, but I have, Evan, I have!
Sippindips ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"(Insert adjective here) hair don't care" makes my blood boil every time.
Shut up, you took a picture of your hair and are posting it for 500 people to see. You obviously care.
Nrodriguez17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boys will be boys..... No, your kid just broke my Shit! The fact that he's a boy had nothing to do with it.
Farls_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but I think it belongs here. I hate when people have to correct me after rounding a number or time.
"What time is it?"
"A quarter after 2"
"Actually, it's 2:14"
Hswaleheen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"work hard play hard"
sleepwalkermusic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fuck you Dan. I never liked you."
Covertxof ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
asap.
Quite specifically, asap. You can say "as soon as possible" and it is OK. But say asap and you can go fuck yourself.
countsoro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hella
xenobuzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:50:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Conversation filler:
"the thing about it is"
"you know what I mean"
"yeah, no. . ."
"at the end of the day"
"not for nothin', but. . ."
"Actually. . ."
"Well, I'm a Christian. and. . ."
"Irregardless. . ." My wife will cut you.
Buzzword whores.
ItsMeTK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:50:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege"
Also anyone who says they have "no regrets" in life. They're liars and have probably done things they should regret.
origami_deathmask ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:50:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't feel bad for those people. If they didn't want to be homeless they could just get a job."
somepunaboutfood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:50:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Never say never"
bigbear2129 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Born again Christian
Lookatmyveganbeard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Point blank period"
nordicmermaid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"to be honest," or worse "tbh."
I can't stand it. It sounds pretentious, and it makes me wonder if they lie a lot and thus they feel the need to announce their honesty.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anything modern teens,that think they are the baddest thing on the planet and listen to nothing but rap (I mean come on Metal is by far the baddest thing on the planet), say.
the_cwhittaker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not religious, I'm spiritual.
Schikadance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:53:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually had an adult say to me "I never learned anything from reading books"
Pullmeinside ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:53:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Put that pussy on the chain wax
Bad_of_Winds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
A_Hozer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not gonna lie "I'm not gonna lie" is an annoying saying. Let us allow the presumption to be that you will tell the truth. Please notify when you're gonna lie.
Joel_Spiral ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:55:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
your silly for feeling that way
Choco_taco1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:55:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"that's not my job"
foxh8er ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:55:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I support GamerGate"
Or maybe
"Actually it's about ethics in game journalism"
BackseatPhilosopher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" 'Tis "
Reddit_S5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Facebook
regressiveparty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:57:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual"
As Daniel Tosh says it "I'm not honest, but you're interesting"
gayscout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:57:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Unacceptable"
Almost always used in a case where there is nothing to be done and the person has to accept that.
Sorry I can't sell you something we physically don't have to sell you, and got just have to accept that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:57:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not so much a phrase, but when they go out of their way to 'correct' me by saying, "Chipol - TE."
Devildude4427 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:57:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "Can you borrow me that (whatever)". No. Just no. The word is lend. I don't know why you idiots don't get that, but you can't borrow someone anything. You can lend it to them. They can borrow it from you. But you can't borrow it to someone.
asparagus_pants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...in regards to..."
"For all intensive purposes"
Any incorrect usage of "you're"/"your", "there"/"their"/"they're".
Any phrase that gets uttered before I've had my morning caffeine.
kowdijj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A wild malaprop appears!
gEazyIsTheBeesKneezy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
doedee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No worries, brotherrrr"
scammingladdy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it's just business"
kingdayton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Screaming happy birthday to-" on any social media app. Just makes me cringe. You're not screaming, don't lie.
sistergoat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from California so I approve.
phunkystuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you order a queserido at a chipotle. Then spend 10 more minutes customizing and doubling up all your fillings.
fuck you.
mefigius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I need some time to touch basis with them." Touch base is the word you are looking for there...
maxpowersb99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My pet peeve'
KaitlynnS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swag..
b214n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
None come to mind but I know em when I see em.
Feorea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Work smarter not harder."
Thanks for the advice. /s
hyperboledown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to have a good time.
LKJ55 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Man I fucking raped that guy," in the context of video games.
Used to date a guy who said this a lot. I commend my past self for making the decision to cut off early.
Nick700 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lel
wfendler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YEAH BUDDY"
jdiesel49 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excetera...
alexispiazza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reason is because
your_name_is_toby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Irrelevant "
airforcekerlee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey, you do you buddy!"
alexispiazza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reason is because
Crixxa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bless their little heart(s)." It's a Southern thing. Always directly precedes or follows something terrible the person is about to say about someone who isn't there.
alexispiazza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reason is because
JudgeDreadLox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same difference
Kizzle_McNizzle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone that says "suppoably" is dumb. Anyone that says "irregardless" is fucking moronic. And the worst offender - anyone that says "__am in the morning" deserves papercuts between their toes. Oh, as opposed to __am at night you dumbshit? It makes me want to punch all the faces.
EDIT: No idea why that's italicizing.
gniusthemc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Tell me how you really feel"
ThatReallyTallPerson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "this band literally saved my life". Shut the fuck up and go back to Tumblr bitch.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who's generally pretty accepting of a diverse range of political views and identifies as a moderate overall, I have yet to meet anyone who uses the word "libtard" unironically who could feasibly win on an episode of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader."
GobbusterMX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not to be an ass or anything but..." If you feel the need to start with that I'm sure that you are an ass.
Radeon760 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This post will probably get buried but...
dostoyevsky23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Did I fucking stutter?"
chandlerpopper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Needless to say"
If it's needless to say, then don't fucking say it.
Some_Awesome_dude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Needles to say, uncomfortable.
icemanblues ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is
iseedoubleu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You do you."
So freaking irritating.
M3X1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"People from Pheonix are called Phoenicians"
sprinkleberry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep whining and whining until I win"
TheOvenDoor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep whining and whining until I win"
jmill155 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone using "literally" when they really mean "metaphorically" "Same difference" and "It is what it is."
arse_lash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you win an argument with someone and then they mutter something under their breath.
Slav_1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"fuck you/idc its your problem." said by the person causing the problem, or any person if they are rude about it
Sign_of_Zeta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
youre under arrest
Jass1995 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any variation that implies "I'm always right and you're always wrong"
IAmTheDoctor34 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who complains about SJWs, they aren't a huge illuminati style movement that controls all the media, you should try to not be an asshole.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:14:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My ex was an asshole, my ex was a douchebag, etc etc.
Any variation of the above really.
elyisgreat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:14:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, many people hate math, but it's an opinion I just don't understand.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know that, right?"
"Are you having fun yet?"
Random person who comes up to me and says "smile!"
Halfdecentcomments ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything involving the number "420" that isn't making fun of itself
I also smoke weed
HellaNahBroHamCarter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the Internet, most uses of "sir", like "thank you, kind sir!", "you, sir, are _____" etc. I don't know how this became a thing but I hate it
Codyistall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When it's a politician, anything that begins with "the scripture tells us..."
Separation of church and state motherfucker.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you see what Jon Stewart said last night?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you love someone.. Let them go, if they don't come back they were never yours to begin with.. Ugh.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to Church."
MrGoobar1318 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swag Ja Feel Man
...my cousin attempts to talk like the douche bags in his class and he says this shit to me all the time. It's all I can do to not punch his face in. What the fuck, who the fuck even says Ja feel. What the fuck is that. Get out of my face with that diarrhea.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It was her fault she got raped" Fuck people
sceno_br4k3r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"HAES"
"you're so tiny, you can eat whatever you want and still stay skinny"
Man. Fuck people who say this to me. I try so hard to eat right and keep myself healthy with exercise, and they act like it's easy and I do nothing to earn it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any use of the word "like".
andy3620 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"so where do you work?" "Oh I'm a nanny"
Every single woman I know that is a nanny posts drinking photos/videos every single night then is posts photos/videos of them taking care of children the next morning. That just doesn't add up for me.
ashyhands ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hey how do you say my name in...
I have no fucking idea. A name is a name.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:21:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have ADHD so..." (Deal with me being an asshole who uses excuses for being an asshole). "I'm an introvert so..." (I won't cooperte in your project cause I don't feel like putting in effort in this job).
Stop using these excuses, especially when it's self diagnosed. Don't be that guy.
supernaturalcat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:21:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Omg, I'm so depressed." In regards to the most minuscule shit you could think of.
zoestopper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:21:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Over enunciation.
Com fort a ble
Its not 4 syllables!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:21:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My bad"
Why are people still saying that?
Poakz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone that starts a speech with: Thank god or Thanks Jesus... Way to give all the credit to your imaginary friend... ughh
rgrady ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
This is admitting complacency and never trying to progress.
musiczlife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That phrase is meant to not destroy an already good running thing and by no means hinders progress. You shouldn't play with current features if they are running good but be very careful when adding new features. Experiment with them carefully and see if they are capable of running in many devices. Spend days examining it. And don't just throwaway at users face after changing a bit of code & things.
Betanut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He/she is my significant other. Like you would ever say insignificant other. Now I know some will say that SO is used if someone is gay, but at this point who cares, aside from republican's and red state inbreds that is. /s
Rambozo77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
WildWizardWaiting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone we spells out omg instead of just saying "oh my god" or lol instead of just laughing. You know, those kind of people. We have all met one or another.
goodtago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol
SyaSal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Thank god the doctor was able to save her/him". Always irked me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irk*
SyaSal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:30:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't sure about the word. Thanks
T_Dill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hanging with bae" the word bae overall .
jonnyozz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"With all due respect..."
GentIemanBastard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:20:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because you say "with all due respect" doesn't mean you can say whatever you want!
ImGonnaFlipTfOut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say literally for everything but aren't being literal. I literally hate those people.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Carpe diem.
Backup_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any variation of "Sorry, not sorry." In my experience it is used exclusively by people who are being passive-aggressive cunts.
Macfrogg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just saying.
stinkylittleone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Please Jesus, protect me from your followers."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also seen on Facebook:
"I've just spent a lot of time trimming my friends list down. If you see this status you're one of the lucky few."
Like fucking good bitch, get your pig face/attitude out of my news feed. I don't remove a single person (or don't add them) unless I have a deep seated personal issue or bad experience with them.
dis23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It drives me nuts when people try to sound smart by saying "I" instead of "me" when the latter is correct.
Chicagocary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
""My bad" ugh
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totes adorbs.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Would of"
Anandahbee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:26:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Donald Trump."
pessimistdiary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Needless to say..."
Then don't motherfucking say it!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a catchphrase, but those people who watch the "funny" "prank" videos of a kid asking a cop if he would like to purchase drugs.
Cop WTF?!'s out and does Cop stuff, and people are like "Police state! Wahhh!!"
They can die please.
VictoriaElaine15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Its nice to meet you!" "I know" I already hate you now
HydroStaticSkeletor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm not a racist but...(Something racist)
I'm not sexist but...(Something sexist)
bluesox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Friends is my favorite show."
Uncle_Jim_Bob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So on and so fourth"
skintner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fetch.
pneumaPhytologist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:30:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This might sound racist, but [insert mildly racist comment here]" Have a brain. If you have to preface any statements with this, just don't bloody say it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not the exact phrase but the gist of this statement: "I'm an otaku, not a weeb! Weebs are obsessed with anime!"
Bitch please, you both devote a lot of your time and money for the same thing.
XxPINEAPPLExX04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im not racist or anything but, [insert something racist].
ManicGypsy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swag yolo.
MindlessEating ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:32:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:33:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The reality is..."
I stop listening after "is".
Ussama808 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:33:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We go by [insert ethnicity here] time." No, that joke has never been funny, it just makes you look like a douche
kindofabuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GST
Menadool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:33:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody who begins a conversation/sentence with "You know what?" "No I don't know, neither do you."
mumooshka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:33:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I told you so'
ltcpanic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just one of those things where.." and proceed to describe any generic situation which intends to make me generalize a common theme where in actuality it has nothing to do with anything
pneumaPhytologist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase violently stuffed into pop culture over the last five years, esp. 2013-era. Every time I hear someone say YOLO who isn't a 13-year-old NT try-hard it makes me want to strangle them. Not enough to kill, but just enough to knock some sense into them and maybe leave some permanent light brain damage, just as a reminder every time they want to say something else that stupid.
LimerickAstley ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My blood boils slowly yo
When I hear some lowly bro
Say "don't worry your tits
I've got this shit
It's not my first rodeo"
dragonmasterjg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What is a phrase that makes you instantly dislike someone strongly?"
asteriskybusiness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything in moderation".
This is so not true. Some things are great in moderation. Some things are great in amounts beyond moderation. Some things are best to never touch.
The phrase is an excuse to justify all types of unhealthy behaviour and boast about healthy behaviour. It also seems to negate the need for any advice from health professionals/researchers.
IceStationZebra74 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:36:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase but when someone pronounces the word "especially" as "ex-specially." Drives me super fucking nuts.
NerdBro1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:36:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At a party or gathering, when someone meets a couple people at once and then says "I won't remember any of your names later". You are 100 times cooler if you CAN remember people's names.
postgradmess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sometimes people say I'm a bitch but really I'm just honest."
No, you say hurtful things to people because you're compensating for your own insecurities. Also, you're a bitch.
Koshesha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
jus sayin
daddyj11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I digress
susiesasquatch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
Fuck off. Come up with a better saying to deal with life's shit.
braveogle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Better luck next time" I just hate that
aruu10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You mad bro?" Yeah. Im mad because your being a huge douchebag.
Glocklestop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i found this gem
800oz_gorilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Right in the Feels" Fuck your 'feels' you overgrown child
curemode ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cool story, bro."
If my story was boring you should be able to at least chastise me in creative way, you know, since you're so superior and all.
slick_p ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Girls that use the word "Wanderlust" to describe themselves. Especially ones who have never even traveled out of their own city.
bovined ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hashtag. Basically when I see it but especially when they SAY it.
Korochun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All lives matter".
3hip5u ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"politically correct"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
consvmption ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's your star sign?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:43:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't like fiction. I live in the real world."
nutricious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:43:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eat, sleep, rave, repeat!
mark6313 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:43:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's offensive."
danninvan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:43:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"....at the end of the day...."
VladtheimpalerIII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This!"
lovedless ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:48:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say this, you may me to it!
dontgiveahoot29 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say Echo instead of yes or ok.
TT-Bronze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And the like." There was a kid (<18 years old) in my first college English class say that 20 times (yes I counted) trying to sound smart. It didn't work.
toxicgreen1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea baby or really? Really?
Direbrian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less."
Anonnymush ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a bitch. Deal with it.
I deal with it by fucking avoiding them.
dblohm7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody who calls me "buddy" or "big guy" is patronizing me.
404IdentityNotFound ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:46:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am not racist, but... [InsertRacism]"
lenwetelrunya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:46:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is a challenge, not a problem. No, it fucking isn't. The challenge is to find a solution for the problem.
CaldariPrimePonyClub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:46:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You did good", I can't stand this phrase. "You have done well!"
timndime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:46:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"sticks and stones will break my bones by names will never hurt me"
actually names can hurt a lot
Dakrys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:46:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something I haven't quite seen yet - When people do something "ironically" to the point where it's indistinguishable from sincerity.
I'll give a couple examples.
Yolo. People said yolo, were judged for saying yolo, and those very judgemental people started saying it to be funny. Then they didn't stop. And they used the term in appropriate context....
Also on reddit - making fun of memes has become a meme itself. If you're saying things like, "memeing on people" or "only the dankest memes" as a way to mock people who enjoy memes, congratulations. You're just as bad now.
enygma9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:47:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just saying "Whatever"...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:47:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to [action ending in proud ownership] a confederate flag
JustBored88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like, whatever
arkbg1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh you really have narcolepsy? I get sleepy too./I knew someone that had that once. / you should take vitamins / etc etc"
alanydor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you hate UPS so much, don't use it."
Yeah, because Gamestop uses FedEx and Amazon Prime.
dyaslinskiy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hitler wasn't that bad"
yesimfluffy99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:18:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People really say this?!
thebadlt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello"
putavirgen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm vegan." Wait whut? I just asked if you wanted to go for a walk.
schroedizzle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:13:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now I really want to use this for things that have nothing to do with food.
killmachine91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Studies have shown"
michaelolowokandi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a phrase but if people who spell 'definitely' as 'defiantly'
pumaFGT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
blacklivesmatter
runninron69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exact same
jarvisthedog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worked with a guy who was not a team player who constantly would interject and interrupt people and say, "Well, my thing is..."
NO. STOP. You're missing the point of working as a collective. I immediately want to throat punch anyone who says that now.
bcstoner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'The people that run this country are idiots!! Thats why I dont vote!'
Gorilla__Tactics ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a Jersey thing
Rick0r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but"
aLittleSconed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"gay agenda."
Mcnasty123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not racist if it's funny"
Veles11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the end of the day, it is what it is, bro.
TwinTTowers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist... But
waltteri ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"would of"/"should of"
TheLegacys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a parent..."
sameervg85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I borrow your ...
usedburrito ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only God can judge me." No. We all judge each other. Everyone judges.
CalvinHobb3s ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"cool beans"
What the fuck, where did that come from?
technogeist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:48:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I never hear anyone say that anymore but I say it all the time...I have no idea where it came from though...
Cobaltplasma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You hear what I'm saying, right?"
My cousin is he greatest offender, says this all the time, drives me crazy. It's like, yes, I heard what you're saying, so did everyone in the room, there's no need to clarify if I'm actually comprehending what you're saying because the difference between our intellects is probably not as vast as you think it might be...
He's spoiled that phrase for anyone I meet who happens to say it, regardless of who they are or what they're saying.
defnot_hedonismbot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just really hate drama
arcravis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Is that gluten free?"
mouse_attack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone calling their significant other their "partner." God, I fucking hate it. Everyone I've ever met who calls their SO "partner" has been ultra self-righteous and judgy as fuck of people who fail to meet their standards for political correctness. Nope.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heard a girl argue with my friend why seatbelts shouldn't be a law and seatbelts should be a choice to wear. Instant hate towards her and her stupidity.
timndime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"yea no"
mini_van_halen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I literally can't even right now."
nike1920 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Swag" "420 blaze it bro!" "#yolo!!!"
alexgough12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hmm there it is again.... High fructose corn syrup"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BRO
wigitalk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all
MusicIsPower ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:00:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How has no one said "all the things" yet. Fucking how
WhosYaKo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm no racist but...."
gunbladerq ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just be happy"
FUCK YOU ALRIGHT!
Cakeman48 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you end everything other sentence with "you know?"
luminitos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae
ShannonMS81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:05:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Top kek.
baberswallet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:06:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
ArminIsBae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
check your privelage
oomomow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check your privileges.
ski3high ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
When someone asks you to choose something although they already have their mind made up. Then when you say whats it is they want, they reply: "Only if you want toooo"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:13:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That or "are you suuuuuureeee?"
HawkofDarkness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:09:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The patriarchy..."
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you-" blahblahblah
pain-is-living ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't judge me"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:11:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
trial and error my friend
MowchiBear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:12:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ppl that use the word "bae".. Pls no .
todayonjeremykyle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:13:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people use the phase "begs the question" to mean "asks the question".
Taman_Should ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Call me young jeezy"
Said by a white girl with tight vocal fry.
PersonOfDisinterest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:15:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
LookDaddyImASurfer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:15:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Happy wife, happy life.
(I'm male)
yesimfluffy99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:02:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me cringe. As if the man has no control, no say, no anything after marriage. He is just supposed to nod and say 'yes dear'. Ugh. (I'm female)
LookDaddyImASurfer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's this super shitty way of talking about your wife that people seem to think is cute. All it says to me is that they married the wrong woman (or really, she married the wrong jerkoff guy).
calsutmoran ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:15:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase with the word "chemtrails" in it.
jschubart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase 'mansplain' generally used by faux feminists. The term condescending asshole is a perfect gender neutral alternative.
Actually throwing in man in other words is just annoying. Manscape, man purse, etc can go away for all I care.
Rookierabbit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But dat ______ doh" spoken or written, fuck you
J0nSnw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'sup ?
Whatwhatthat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:19:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yolo.
Just sayin.
No offence.
Honestly.
Work hard play hard.
Take selfie
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Deez nuts"
DeLiRiOuS69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't understand
C_rad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
nessadub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like a boss
alextbrown4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:24:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ain't seen you in a minute!
pants-de-leon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, right?"
Well, shit. I dunno. Do you? Do you know? You tell me.
RTRowe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist butโฆ"
wonderatprideandash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where are you from, Boston?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have more than one:
"It's just a joke/prank" No it's not Tim, I could have died or I could have shot you.
"Everyone is so pc now" No, your jokes just fucking suck Tim.
"I have freedom of speech. I can say what I want" That's right, Tim you can but are you able to handle the consequences for what you say? I mean go ahead talk shit just don't get shocked when you get hit.
theningnangnong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:27:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less ..."
might_be_myself ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:28:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:28:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they say: "Plot Twist:" what fucking plot?
pumpkinsnice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just do it!
Sokonomi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The problem is socioeconomic".
BlarpMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm the kind of person who..."
DukeOfDownvotes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Awesomeness."
danilosaur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:32:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist/homophobic/against whatever, but..."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Political correctness gone mad"
Elveshelves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"in this day and ageโฆโฆ" or "you don't know, you've neverโฆ."
melancholiababy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:34:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Give me an example of when I did [insert douchebag behaviour here]."
Like it's my job produce a full fucking list that details where and when you have acted like a complete dick. News flash: I'm not a goddamn lawyer and I'm also not so petty that I keep a written record of every single crappy thing that everyone has ever done to me. I'm pretty sure doing that is well within the realm of abnormal behaviour which makes this a completely unreasonable request. Not to mention if I actually did do this and produced the proof on demand then I'd just be called crazy so it wouldn't help my case in the slightest.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know what I'm sayin? "
magic7ball ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:36:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amazeballs. And Cray-cray. It makes me want to go ninja mode and just annihilate.
PhysicsNovice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Its natural"
theandsign ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Addressing me as "Chief, Boss, Bossman or Big Guy," inspires the urge to kill.
Albacorewing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Awesome."
cornbeef1102 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm the sort of person who..."
Sheharizadian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:39:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"music these days suck!"
zombiejesus88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's just the way god made me" or any other way to blame god or others for you being an idiot.
RicottaPuffs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:47:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was just kidding.
WreckNTexan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:48:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...but I don't care about what you think"
ModernOlive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm voting for Trump"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:52:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"omg i totally have OCD!!!!!!!!!!"
No, liking things organized doesn't mean you have OCD.
technogeist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:39:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, people who have OCD can't function normally and it majorly interferes with their life. People who are obsessively neat and organized have OCPD.
A_California_Guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
I much prefer the phrase, that a wise philsopher once said "they think it don't be like it is but it do"
ipseudothecode ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NeverSettle
ludlology ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
"You're a gentleman and a scholar"
Any of the identity politics buzzphrases going around right now, like "safe spaces", "POC", "oppression tourist", "marginalized group", "cultural appropriation" and so on.
"put a pin in it"
drakedavis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, I know how to do it" when they clearly don't and I'm trying to help
CrazyM4n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What do you like to do?"
"Watch Netflix"
Yeah, because that's the most interesting answer that nobody I've talked to before has ever said in the history of forever for God's sake I don't care that your parents spend $8 a month on you to be able to waste away just like everyone else that says that.
...
MissAnthropy1982 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:09:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe they don't feel like having a conversation with you and putting their thought into it, so its just a general answer that they have for you.
CrazyM4n ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:31:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, true.
monders337 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a guy at work who refers to Preliminary Design as PD, and Detailed Design as DD. No one else does. It's prelim and detailed.
But no, this fucking clown shoe throws it out every other sentence.
He's quite easy to hate.
Happpiii_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:56:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not so much a phrase, but people who quote stand-up comedy shows and find it absolutely hilarious.
"As <insert comedian> said:"
asourinam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:56:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
literally
buttfaceliz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's a free country." usually those who use that phrase use it to justify them acting like a dick.
Seriousaboutnachos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:58:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[insert vitriolic diatribe] niggers!
Had a roommate who said such lines regularly. Scared me shitless sometimes to be out in public with him. Scared me even more how many black friends he had.
HashtagFour20 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:00:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
black lives matter
laziebones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My bad". WTF, can't you just say you're sorry, or you've done something wrong. It doesn't even sound right.
Yes, I'm an old person
Vadersballhair ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pacifically instead of Specificly.
Those ones need to be out of the gene pool.
Beingabummer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:02:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Exetera"
IT'S ETCETERA YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING MORON FUCK.
AutoBat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:27:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's et cetera. Two words, not one.
washinang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gotcha... cant stand that fucking word
Flynt90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tells joke
Person: no laughter that's so funny!
They can go fuck themselves.
hollycoolio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:14:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
9/11 was an inside job.
Rockabilly454 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"However, comma..." drives me batshit
reebee7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:21:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"They taught me more than I taught them."
--A Girl Talking About Her Work Abroad
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CAN YOU NOT?!?!
TungstenTesticle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:26:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but racist statement
sfmclaughlin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:28:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't be racist. I've got loads of black friends.
Sith_Apprentice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:34:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is." No shit, astute observation Chet. What else would it be, what it's not? What the fuck does that mean!
MadOnion5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:35:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Aren't you a little old for X?"
Stfu and let me beat the elite four in peace!
PeopleNotNeeded ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:10:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't you a little young for that?
MasterJaron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:36:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate stupid people."
Adastria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:36:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything followed by, "...I'm just sayin."
SAYMYNAMEYO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:36:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know you're a 90's kid..."
-When you don't shut the fuck up about it.
"I'm just just bein one-hunnit (100)"
-Majority of the time you're just being an ass.
"Comment amen if"
-...Yeah no I'm sorry but seriously there's no need for that.
TheAdorableThespian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:37:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone says "From the get go," My butthole clenches into another dimension.
age_of_cage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:38:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There's no smoke without fire" fuck you, there absolutely is, everywhere, every single fucking day. People are often so desperate to believe false accusations even in the face of zero evidence.
AJockeysBallsack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:40:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm really honest, and people can't handle that."
No, you're a rude asshole who doesn't know how to interact with people.
julianwolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:40:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Meat is murder."
Miranran_b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:41:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm really into horoscopes, what's your sign??"
Sibur ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:57:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a classmate at uni ask that question to literally everybody within five minutes of meeting them, then try and extrapolate what they are like and tell them what's goanna happen to them next week... became very annoying, very fast. eventually everybody's star sign was simply "NO"
Miranran_b ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:03:05 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a coworker once who judged people by first impressions based on their horoscope. If their signs weren't supposed to get along she automatically avoided you. I thought it was the rudest most ignorant thing.
Miranran_b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:36 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a coworker once who judged people by first impressions based on their horoscope. If their signs weren't supposed to get along she automatically avoided you. I thought it was the rudest most ignorant thing.
Sibur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:11 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hey, being avoided by a person with such views is a blessing in my book. then again, assuming you wont get along and then automatically avoiding those people is a self fulfilling prophecy.
AssMustard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:43:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heya champ!
iEatCommunists ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:47:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I think Donald Trump is a viable political candidate"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Real Women have curves
Fuck off fatty, 'real' women don't even need to have vaginas in this day and age! Why can't you just be proud of your own body without feeling the need to insult all the skinny bitches of the world.
Same goes for all the bullshit that makes someone a 'real' man.
followtheflow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:51:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The passive aggressive response: "to each is own."
Slash_rage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:53:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say, "I hit my kids!" like it's an accomplishment. Then they say, "you just don't know, wait until yours gets older." I do know because I was a kid and getting hit was a whole lot more traumatizing than having a parent patiently tell you to stop doing something and why you should stop.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:53:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can't even
well then can you odd?
Jtl34 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:54:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My horoscope told me
Jerdon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:54:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone mentions their astrological sign as if it was relevant.
AnusStapler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:01:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a racist, but...[insert racist phrase]
CreedWood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thanks Mr . skeletal!"
PeopleNotNeeded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks Mr skeltal!*
Ftfy.
JerryBBQ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:05:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just looking out for number one!
Ozziw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:08:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If he/she doesn't, I'm not going to" or "he/she started it", or other similar things in order to act dumb yourself. If you find a person annoying, don't be petty. Be the better man/woman and act as a good example.
Glizorkulblorkul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:09:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't care what anyone says,... (insert ridiculous assertion)"
Kaylonic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:10:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not being funny, but"... is always followed by an insult or negative statement.
THRILLHO18 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:10:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for your service.
Mookest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:17:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let's agree to disagree."
No, let's agree that you are wrong! I have proof! That statement means you're too stubborn to be educated.
brownfox59 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:19:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me "What's up"
Some prick "The sky"
PeopleNotNeeded ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:01:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a new one for you. "The direction diametrically opposed to there pull of gravity."
brownfox59 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:34:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I hate you
PeopleNotNeeded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're so welcome. Lmao. Feel free to steal that.
JamoreLoL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:22:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'We did it reddit'
BasicTrainer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:24:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL.
If you find something funny, then laugh at it don't say LOL with absolutely no emotion. You waste everyone's time and then I have to spend the next ten minutes not listening to anything other then the blood pounding in me ears and suppressing the urge to kill.
teddyrooseveltsfist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "I have haters" yep your so fucking important people hate you.
Time_For_A_Noose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:26:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I just accepted The Lord Jesus Christ into my heart as it all worked out."
sea__weed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:33:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"According to my horoscope. .." Kinda liked her until she said "typical taurus"
iwonderhowmancharact ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:33:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My star sign is...
KemptonS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:46:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bye Felicia WHO THE HELL IS FELICIA
Th3Puck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:49:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but when people say the weather is "chillos"
Greenbananas123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:53:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I really shouldn't say this, but..."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:55:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says wow that was rude when the thing someone else did WASNT EVEN FRICKING RUDE!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:02:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using your astrology sign as an excuse. "Oh, sorry I didn't mean to be rude. I can't help it, I'm a Gemini". No bitch, you're rude because you're a shitty person.
Travelling_Gingernut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:03:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is." That means absolutely nothing and has no part in an actual grown up conversation.
Thagliou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:05:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fair enough"
Thagliou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:05:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fair enough"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:07:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"With all due respect..." followed by some shitty insult.
v1ech ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:10:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"rekt"
MaxV331 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:12:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same difference.
Bordyour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:16:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cmon, just use your common sense". When, in fact it's far from just common sense.
catssaway ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:24:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Brain Fart.
Ruins brains and farts
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:26:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless... That's a double negative. It's just regardless.
Ryanmjesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:28:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say hate or dislike, but I find it kind of silly when someone is intentionally rude to someone else (usually a parent), and I ask why, the response being "I'm not gonna' respect someone who doesn't respect me!" Apperantly some people believe being equally as negative is solving the problem and this doesn't make sense to me.
hellzoids ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't judge me 'til you know me." -Sigil of the house of douchieness.
nguyenkimnhathuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:31:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gay
PlasticBinary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:34:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a racist, but [...]
Tyler_durden1974 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:37:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Youse"
Bennett713 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:40:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God works in mysterious ways!"
SoupCanDrew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:45:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do the needful"
Fucken assholes.
Shocel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:56:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
''Hello.''
mrangeloff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:59:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's your star sign?"
KrisCMS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:00:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Git-r-done!
TheMeedo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:01:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i shit you not" dude...can you speak properly please? this one is for you /u/xmero
conquer69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:05:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate X, I love X"
No you don't hate or love any of those things. You only like/dislike them.
Diomedes42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:07:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The Civil War was about states' rights."
bct7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:11:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Praise Jesus" as a catch praise.
Nice weather. Praise Jesus. Traffic was lite. Praise Jesus. Job going well. Praise Jesus.
hypn0t1zed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:12:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using french words when talking in english, and not even spelling/pronouncing them correctly.
Neblitz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:13:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you think the author meant by...
ramizqs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Live Laugh Love
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:21:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let's agree to disagree".
No, motherfucker. We agree, disagree, or die in this holy contest of fact and opinion. We don't walk away like pussies.
ImDonaldo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:24:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
totes
dasmiddy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:31:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't drink those 'girly' drinks like you do....IM A WHISKEY GIRL.
themidgetninja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:32:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Could have done better if i tried
Wideskream ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:33:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a parent..."
Boong-Ga_Boong-Ga ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:34:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Enjoy!'
Aimintothedark18 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:40:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word Snitch. When someone writes Prince, idgaf, MF, in their Facebook name 0r wryTeZ like diz.
JM4G1C ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:42:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any time someone uses "looping in (person's name)" on an e-mail chain... with no clear explanation as to why said person is "looped in".
Enthused_Llama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:47:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I honestly don't care what anyone thinks of me."
AKA "I went too far in the direction of self-reassurance and now I'm a smug asshole who doesn't consider other people's feelings."
Ze_Bearded_Kelephant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:51:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist... But...
Jesuz1402 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:53:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i couldnt stay a weekend at home
Grovemonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:57:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely
thedoseoftea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:58:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I'm from there's a phrase used as a response to someone explaining why they did what they did:
"I thought that..."
"Oh, you thought, did you? Well,one guy thought, thought of a wheelbarrow and then he had to pull it!"
So yeah, we have a saying that basicallymeans you should never think. Let's just move back into caves then.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thedoseoftea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And made the following generations' lives easier.
Mandosquirrel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:01:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not racist if it's true". And it can't be true if it is an opinion
TheBlackSpank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:16:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What? I'm just telling it like it is!"
This is almost always preceded by the most ignorant opinion ever.
masterchief4115 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:17:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Surely "In my humble opinion" has got to be up there. Noone has ever said that and meant it.
outflanking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:19:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Squad
zombcakes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:22:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that the new iPhone?
---muffinbutton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:24:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, you can't really like that, no one does." "You're only a real fan if -insert subjective bullshit/bullshit minutiae here-." Anything to do with false dichotomies. Do not tell me I can't like both DC and Marvel. There is no war in Ba Sing Se.
DrWindow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:28:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Would you kindly'
drumhans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:30:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On Facebook when something good happens to them "God is great"
timfitz42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:35:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yo dawg, I heard you like ..."
Hobofitness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
Usually not the case, you just aren't thinking it through.
Unless it is a potato. Then it makes sense.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:40:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yolo
JadedInternetGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
Cesar_Reads_Shit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:43:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was home schooled
Mmw554 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:43:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
No shit, that doesn't change any feelings I may have about whatever it is.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:45:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Apparently". If it was apparent you wouldn't be telling me.
Ultimatenab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:54:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worst one of all.... "i am not racist but....". Bitch even if you are not racist before that comment you are about to be.
Hateslayer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:56:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When terrible things happen and all some people say is "I will pray for you."
congenital_derpes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:59:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's Offensive"
_Fern ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:59:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'd like to see your manager"
Sen7ineL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:01:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Calm down" Whenever someone is irritating me for real, and he doesn't know it, and sees me getting frustrated, and tells me to calm down... Sometimes I felt like I wanted to beat fucker's head into the wall. I'm usually cool.
keeley140 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:06:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I've got 4' 'Oh, well ive got 5' those kinda phrases get right on my nerves!!!! Not everything is a competition...
cp24eva ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:09:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Straight outta...
ItzRobot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:09:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I was born in the wrong generation"
Untraceablez ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:53:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the red flag of hipsterdom. I look for it, and if I find it, run away.
careersinscience ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:11:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you have a kid's menu?"
hepatitis_t ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:12:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"awesome sauce"
sidewinderucf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:13:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." Bonus points if it's on a picture of a Minion.
GoldenHealerQuartz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:20:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't seen this one on the thread yet but "kill yourself", makes me want to punch the person in the face
underfilex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:21:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wait there is no fake "i just realized im ugly and fat" here yet? FTFY
ZeBests ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:22:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I Korean tells me "I hate Japanese!"
MeegzZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:28:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but...
spencerlevey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:30:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
Boldoggin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:30:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ride or die".
hujan82 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:32:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There are plenty of fish in the sea" or anything that sounds like I pity you for being single.
day0ldhat3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:33:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
_______ sent you a game request.
joehortonart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:42:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a business owner: "the customer is always right."
Marcmaz04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:46:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but....... Yeah THOSE people
lostpasswordnoemail ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Actually,"
pan_kumrd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but โฆ"
JDaub08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:56:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Live, Laugh, Love"
Obleos_Point ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:56:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I seen"
I just cannot deal with it...
I see. I saw. I have seen.
annoyingstranger ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:01:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vidi.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:57:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Mensabender ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:58:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tips Fedora
TheTuckingFypo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who takes a joke from the intenet and tries to pretend they made it up themselves. Bitch I live on reddit, that shit won't work.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says they're so OCD. No, you're not OCD, no human can be Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... you can be obsessively compulsive, but you can't be OCD.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anywho.
cocainetea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Haha, I thought all black people liked watermelon and fried chicken"
Go fuck yourself.
acidpope ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Suck it up." If someone is upset, tired or hurt there just might be a justification for them wanting to stop and get better or at least not make the situation worse. No reason to be a callous touch-hole.
Political_Lemming ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When entering a room, the first idiot to greet me with the phrase, "...there he is...!" deserves a punch in the head.
webstr89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"last night on the Kardashians"
ketaminekid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Made me feel some type of way"
Bestrafen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:33:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not something which can be locked down to a specific type of comment but people who try to buy social equity by saying something they do not actually believe through their actions.
caviarnightmares ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Full time Mummy" job status on Facebook.
caz0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's your sign? I'm a Cancer, but you probably already guessed that
kprasdale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:41:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but,
Iz_gurl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:41:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So I just finished the latest season of My little pony!"
JohnROCKER_49 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you. Gets me every time
TexasPaninga ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My pet peeve phrase is "In my honest opinion..." What the heck? You think I want to hear your dishonest opinion, jerk? If you aren't going to tell me the truth, then shut the fuck up.
ShogunTake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:52:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"A la" on Reddit.
soulruler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
GnashtyPony ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be voting for Bernie Sanders!"
"I'll be voting for Clinton!"
"I'll be pretending to vote for Trump!"
Nobody gives a fuuuuuck who you vote for
CaptainCa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure the candidates do
JustMe4455 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I dislike you strongly". Oh yeah? I dislike you strongly too.
AmGeraffeAMA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:40:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ending any sort of scandal in 'gate'
Literally. Thankfully the overuse of literally seems to be dying out.
RomanticPanic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:40:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rekt Rip Haters gonna hate Git gud Bae
I need to really go through my list of instant intolerance words, im intetested now.
I_Regret_My_Sarcasm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Synergy
jadelombard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:48:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're like a real life meme, meme man
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:02:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know what else is better..?"
WelcomeToTheMuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When grandparents tell their grandkids it looks like they've been on a "grownin' spurt" I want them to just go away.
Ninetendoh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:10:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These magnets on my wrist....
2thumbswayup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when people say "it is what it is". They come across like they've totally given up and the situation HAS to stay the same. Also, when people say "I'm from (insert place) and I know good (whatever)". Fuck you! People from New York, New Jersey, and Texas are the worst at it. Fuck them!
lemonchris1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When girls describe themselves as "bubbly".
Truck_Thunders ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything positive about Burlington Coat Factory, and I don't know why.
Ludo_Ergo_Fero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you just stopped and thought about it". Of course, because everyone who disagrees with you is obviously an unthoughtful idiot.
yusuf69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"hot minute"
fuck off, that's not a measure of time
nathanello ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
grasshoppa80 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"let me circle back to you on that one" (or any cliche business jargon trite words)..
Clarkness_Monster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was joking, calm down
iamnotsurewhattoname ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, I'm a smurf
KendasKerman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any fallacy. Primarily 'Appeal to Novelty' and 'Appeal to Tradition'.
20thcenturyman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Advise me...". Had a terrible boss who would begin every criticism by saying that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything involving "Nuclear", but pronounced "Nu-Cu-Lur"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be sure"
As in: This is not his best book, to be sure, but it is still worth reading.
What does that even mean? Why must we add unnecessary words?
firebird50 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
let them kill them self's if they're depressed, it's none of our business
semper-amor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"(insert name) is retarded"
Internetfag6969 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"semper-amor is retarded"
Thesandman21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:17 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Please advise"
CheeWee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:16 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
apple makes the best products
Thartperson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:39 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Love, laugh love"
Italianjobe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:32 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It was just banter"
nastyneeick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:18 on August 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says "kray" and isn't joking around
nastyneeick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:45 on August 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who's Led Zeppelin?
eraserrrhead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:24 on September 9, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
Uh no, it is whatever you make it. When people say this, I immediately judge them as an immature ass who gives up on things too easily.
DeniseDeNephew ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:44:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work with a guy who I overheard say, "I'm voting for Trump. We need to throw the bums out and get new blood in there."
As if term limits aren't a big enough disaster on their own, this guy wants to put Donald fucking Trump in the White House because he's "new". He doubled-down on stupidity.
Geekatlrg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
please explain why you feel this way
compaqle2202x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...what's the problem with term limits?
Geekatlrg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they want Obama to run for a 3rd http://www.petition2congress.com/5455/repeal-22nd-amendment-end-presidential-term-limits
camalittle ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 15:48:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trumps popularity is just more proof of how the ignorant are enabled by corporate media- via its conservative slant on everything and by the hundreds of Rush Limbaugh-like angry white men on talk radio.
Even in so-called "liberal NYC" you can surf the AM dial and you can always find at least 4 or 5 of these conservative "ignorance-validators" on the air.
JAKPiano3412 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:28:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like you're the ignorant one if you think this about all conservatives
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:11:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't support gay marriage"
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:15:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People of Color. Additionally abbreviating it POC. Because that means products of conception to me. Which you can google if you want to know why that bothers me.
tb415 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:53:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like.............Like...............Like.............Like.............Like...............
TheHatRemover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing that you don't like Scooby-Doo?
aggron306 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when people ask for likes on youtube videos too!
bontay ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:43:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a Christian....." This always makes me want to spin my head around and spit pea soup all over the damn place
sheeeeeez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:13:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Dad, please come home.". Ugh, fucking infuriating, let me get my goddamn cigarettes in peace. Whiny little bitch.
EEdwardNigma ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:55:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Conspiracy theories. Pretty much in general, but some are a lot worse. Claiming 9/11, or any shooting anywhere, was the government of where it occurred, denial of the holocaust or denial of the moon landing.
There is no faster way to kill all respect I have for you.
BlastingZone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:24:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because evil doesn't exist and people don't lie. It's 100% impossible for someone in power somewhere to do something crooked. Fact.
EEdwardNigma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to write out some explanation for why thats fucking retarded but why bother, you'll just fucking intentionally misread that as well.
BlastingZone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:13:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was agreeing with you man. Everyone in the world is perfect and only do things that benefit all of mankind.
EEdwardNigma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well see now you're just being a wanker.
xtremechaos ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:44:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We had to circumcise him to look like daddy.
No bitch, you just bought into the propaganda and didn't bother to do any critical thinking on the topic before you amputated perfectly healthy body parts off of your child.
TheyMakeMeWearPants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"not for nothing"
WTF does that actually mean? Is everything else you say just background noise?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:40:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bro"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:43:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they use the word "gross" too liberally I know they are someone to stay away from.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:03:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, fuck accountants and their gross incomes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awesomesauce! Epic for the win XD
mythix_dnb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
#gohardorgohomebye
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rip jon #gohardhome
terevabrother ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:07:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same difference.
hellofromsc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could care less.
terevabrother ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok, I didn't want to be friends with you anyway.
hellofromsc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just to be clear I was just mentioning another phrase that annoys me, I thought it was similar to yours!
terevabrother ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know, it's sarcasm, pal.
hellofromsc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not your pal, buddy.
HellfireAgnostic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When my girlfriend says this after being corrected, I get irritable with her.
terevabrother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I admire that you're still in that relationship.
HellfireAgnostic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to tolerate her.
LegitD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bruh
BW_Bird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I've ever seen the used in a non-saterical way.
pharallax ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:30:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
definitely "don't take this the wrong way, but..."
iKaine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:34:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"at the end of the day..."
ElectroBoof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cake boss
fuck cake boss
He said this every fucking episode
NinaCupcakes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:35:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm such a nerd". Are you... Are you really....
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is funny that identifying yourself as a nerd is cool now.
NinaCupcakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Funny" is one way of putting it :O lol
karasuningyo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:51:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I had it worse."
Okay.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:58:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You think that's bad..." [cue clearly embellished (if not fake) story for shock value]
WoodleyAM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but Donald Trump might be."
WoodleyAM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Touchรฉ
Weird_Wuss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:57:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'sjw'
Hailbacchus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Problematic."
Then there's the SJW drinking game to that...
FreydyCat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:16:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When some uses 'merica or 'murica in response to a post about America.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:20:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THATS RACIST
Niyeaux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"SJWs"
muckluckcluck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:28:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hubby
coupochingo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:31:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hate it
picklesandmustard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:28:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." Get over yourself, you self-involved twat.
derek_g_S ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
have a blessed day!
hate that.
milkshakesqueen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:51:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"if you don't agree/like this, you're wrong." no. fuck off. i don't care. maybe YOU'RE wrong. fuck u.
thelukinat0r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That usually convinces me
/s
milkshakesqueen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RIGHT... like holy shit your argument is airtight, i bet you were the star of the debate team u absolute shitwad
matlaz423 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:45:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not bisexual, you just haven't come to grips with being gay yet."
-Usually a Gay man-
Or I like both penis and vagina. What do you think the 'B' in 'LGBT' stands for?
OpticallyClear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:54:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I need to understand".
Usually said by a boss or authority figure - typically they don't need to understand shit but want you to repeat and explain everything so they can then tell you what they really want you to do instead.
DontSayTheP_word ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:12:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone adds "per se" to what they are saying.
Whether they use it correctly or not, I automatically dislike them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't care what the researchers / scientists / experts say, in my heart I know I am right."
No. No you are not.
urbandandelion ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:39:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Been there, done that." It's like they can't just empathize for a moment. They'd rather brush you off and ignore you.
Mndless ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:52:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they chew with their mouths open. Just no. Also, anyone who thinks emotional manipulation is a way out of a discussion/debate that they're losing.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:04:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Check your Privilege.'
Get off the high horse. You are not helping. This phrase is not helpful. Shouting people down is not going to make you look any better of a person.
Cadaverlanche ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I hear a nurse or doctor mention "THAT Obamacare".
It's almost like they're pissed that people didn't start dying off in droves the moment it was passed.
capital_wastelander ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:21:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I dont believe in guns"
Its ok if you dont support them, but they are FUCKING REAL!
MRstumph ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:16:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a vegan, I can't stand animals being hurt.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:46:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This is just like 1984/Brave New World!" (or "This is what Orwell/Huxley predicted!")
No, no it's not. The fact that you can say that without being arrested, beaten, drugged, or "reeducated" is proof that you're wrong.
Mahza ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:42:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I voted for Obama"
Joerodeo77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let me tell you about Jesus"
Swoleger ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:05:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a vegan
BigRedMan69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:55:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Abortions should be illegal"
Lord_Ka1n ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:47:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"did you see the game last night?"
Chiffmonkey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:05:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pray for you"
And I just think, that's literally the least you could do.
MyWuTangStyle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:31:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
XD - That face makes me want to cut someone.
SoManyQuestionsPorYu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:38:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You need to wear a bra." No, I don't. You don't get to decide what I wear; I get to decide what I wear. It's not my fault you can't stop staring at my boobs.
"What are you, some kind of feminazi?" No. I just don't wear bras. Because I'm a trans male. Why should I have to?
celtsfan1981 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:51:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a Christian/Muslim-"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:21:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
godwings101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of the preachers at my parents church would always preach a sermon like "If you ever want to say but, but just remember but GOD" and he'd always pronounce it horrendously like gauwidah
churrosricos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:04:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YAAASSS
EtriganZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this.
churrosricos ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I think reddit likes it though
E: Original comment was at -3
traizie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:56:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"triggered"
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:54:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
traizie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I now instantly dislike you strongly
LRedditor15 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:00:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word "Strongly" is triggering me!!!!!!!
PaperPhoneBox ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:08:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" I don't eat pork (bacon/ham/etc)"
Fuck, now I have to ask why. is it religious? am I going to offend you with other thing I might say? is it medical? You have now become too much effort to talk to
Xifar_ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:12:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just say cool or okay.
I don't eat pork/ham but I'm not offended by it either.
PaperPhoneBox ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never had someone slap bacon out of my hand or anything like that. It's more along I'm in a social situation with you and "don't eat pork".
If I want to be polite, I now have to feel around to make sure you are not eating for a religious reason. Again I don't care what you believe, but I don't want to be an ass either and worry about if I've said something that you might find offensive. again not that I care but just to keep the conversation comfortable.
Just eat the bacon and make my life easier, that's all I want.
energylegz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:25:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you want people to eat bacon because you are socially awkward? Got it.
Xifar_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:36:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair I wouldn't be able to eat the bacon since I'm forbidden from eating(or otherwise consuming) pig products.
I however have zero problems with you eating it in front of me, even if you did offer some and I turned you down I'd still be glad you offered because it's the thought that counts.
godwings101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Forbidden how?
Xifar_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Religious reasons : )
No pigs, blood, or stuff found dead.
Numericaly7 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:36:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me, I stopped eating pork when I read (1) that they are about as smart or smarter than dogs, (2) the conditions they are kept in until they are slaughtered.
I love the taste of pork and would probably still eat it if (1) I was hunting and killed a wild boar and/or (2) they improve factory farming to where pigs aren't literally dying in shit while being shrowded in darkness.
I don't feel so bad for Cow and Chicken because they are much dumber and Two Stupid Dogs is on right after.
PaperPhoneBox ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:42:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sadly I think if I spent too much time dwelling on animal farming conditions, I would go vegan.
it's one of those things where I'm going to lie to myself and keep eating delicious $1 cheeseburgers
Numericaly7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do your best to avoid it. It's very sad. Learning about it will ruin your day and make you feel helpless in doing anything about it. I'm not opposed to killing and eating any animals(unless they are endangered), but I don't think anyone can look at factory farming and not be incredibly disturbed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that if I were rich, I would make a massive area of land for all of my meat products. Then I would hunt them myself.
Noclue55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cows are actually kinda smart. Chickens however are still very dumb.
356afan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chickens are idiots.
godwings101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the only respectable thing to do once you learn that is to obviously start eating dog too.
svenniola ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"oh good, more for me."
I like saying that. (to anyone saying they dont do something i appreciate.)
356afan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's for religious reasons or allergic reactions, I totally understand. But how can you not want to live on bacon?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:28:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a vegan.
energylegz ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:13:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like disliking someone solely for their food choices is douchier than being a vegan. I think its fair to dislike certain vegans, but the ones who are chill about it aren't a problem.
[deleted] ยท -18 points ยท Posted at 01:03:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found one.
energylegz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not accurate. I eat quite a bit of meat, I just think its stupid to dislike someone for a completely personal choice.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem I have with people who are vocally vegan or moral vegetarians is that when you tell someone that you don't do something that they do because you find it morally repugnant, it's sort of offensive.
muh_condishunz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:29:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it resonates because deep down you feel bad about your lifestyle choices
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:26:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
3 chickens died for my food today alone.
muh_condishunz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
edgy
souIIess ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:55:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if they're from Vega?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an equal-opportunity consumer.
Tuirrenn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only reason I don't like this is when I invite a vegan friend over for dinner, I have to go on high alert in my kitchen and make sure that what I cook is actually vegan.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My issue is not vegans. I know several and they are great guys. My issue is when that is how you identify yourself and tell my I'm evil because I eat meat
Tuirrenn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:09 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed :) Its easy to ignore the whiney ones though. Its just when its the ones you like that are coming to dinner, and you realise you forgot and accidentally poured chicken stock into both risottos instead of just the one for the meat eaters that it sucks.
grandpaseth18 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you dislike people just because they make more ethically responsible decisions with their diet? I get it id they're a jerk and look down on everyone else, but there are way more jerks that eat meat than there are that don't, so you should be looking elsewhere when trying to determine whether someone is likable or not.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:18:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found another.
grandpaseth18 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not even vegan, I just think that it's ridiculous to judge someone's entire personality based on someone being thoughtful in their diet choices with respect to the environmental or ethical impact of consuming animal products. Have you even met and been annoyed by a vegan in person? If they're a vegan jerk, then they're a jerk, but don't homogenize a whole group just because you don't like the vocal ones.
Purloinedshadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Judging somebody's personality based on a phrase is the whole point of this post man. You don't need to get defensive
lnfinity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
0/2
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dislike people who claim I'm unethical and irresponsible because I have an omnivorous diet. Or really anyone that implies that something I do is bad. "Oh you drive? I only ride my bike, I find cars to be rapacious and morally disgusting." Fuck that guy too.
grandpaseth18 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:18:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First, whether or not you like it is irrelevant. I just think that it is more reasonable to cut out meat as a way to reduce one's impact on the environment than not using a car. It's just important that you are aware of the consequences of your decisions and try your best to live as well as you can without hurting others. If it is absolutely unreasonable to stop eating meat due to whatever reason, then you should probably just eat meat, but most people in the US have easy access to a variety of vegetarian and vegan options that are tasty and fulfill nutritional needs. Although people are definitely being jerks when they think that they're better than you for biking to work, being vegan, etc., I think the world would be better off if people would be more conscious of their decisions.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, this is a thread about phrases that make you instantly disliking people, so I'd say it's relevant.
Honestly, I don't really care if people are vegan or moral vegetarians or bike to work (that's not true I fucking hate bicyclists, but mostly because they seem to be dead set on running me down), it's just as you say, some people can be dicks in the way they communicate that. And I agree with you on that last bit.
Rounddance ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:38:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coo, instead of cool. If you sounded anymore like a pigeon I would kill you.
Thegamer211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who says that???
Ghost3741 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:36:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fuck the police" "fucking pigs"
Idiots
sweetdeal11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm pretty open minded but..." Heard this about 5 times from a close friend over the weekend. The homophobic, racist, and idiotic phrases that followed were, sadly, not surprising.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:48:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Goes right along with "i'm not a racist, but....."
farmthis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:51:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let's agree to disagree"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you would hate me. I use that when I realize we (the arguers) are both too stubborn to see the other's point of view. It is either we agree to disagree or I just say they are right and ignore them the rest of the night haha.
farmthis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha... Well, I'm not too stubborn, and I work hard to understand other people and get my point across painlessly in a discussion... So it takes a special sort of downright dismissive person to say this to me.
I'm sure it's used more often by other people in better situations where it means less.
isaaq1478 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:19:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is Pepsi okay?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At my workplace, if we don't say that, we can get fined/sacked if a mystery shopper comes in and they ask for coke. The odds are highly unlikely and most people don't bother saying it, but that's probably the reason you hear it so much.
RicRod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All my friends say I'm the best drunk driver so I guess that means I'm a great sober driver!" The dumbest girl I ever met said this while she was bashing my friends driving skills
bunnycupcakes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't like reading."
GenJonesMom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I ain't got no."
FingerTheCat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dun na nuhhh, satis. Faction. Dun na nuhhh
356afan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, who do you think you be are is?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:00:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I might should oughta pick up a grammar book, but I ain't got no 'litracy."
R1_TC ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:19:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that that apostrophe implies L is not the first letter of "Literacy" bothers me greatly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ain't done it. It's essentially taking out "Lite" and replacing it with "Lit." There's no other grammatical tool to show this.
MycleneAss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right tool, wrong place. Should be lit'racy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I now realize my mistake
GreenMansions ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:27:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like all music... except rap." Hmmmm.
EvilJackCarver ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:47:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Guilty. Can't stand the backbeat of most of them, though there's a few songs I like.
Edit: Should probably mention that post-'85 rap isn't the only genre I hate.
Redditarama ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:20:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
POST 85? So you like the kind of rap that goes " I'm Cool Fresh/ and I'm here to say/I'm the greatest rapper in the U.S.A"
EvilJackCarver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Looking up those lyrics, I found this gem.
But yeah, around that. Here's a song I've got on 33โ . (Length warning: estimated runtime 15 minutes)
Redditarama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rapper's delight is actually the apex of that style, its hard to find the real old old rap. It was more sing-songy and friendly, you can see it in some old 80's movies. I think Rappers Delight was the first real rap hit song/ but I could be wrong.
Debased27 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's kinda how I am. And it's not a race thing. I really do like a lot of blues, jazz, and old R&B (like Sam Cooke and Otis Redding). I have Run-DMC and Public Enemy in my collection, but modern rap just doesn't do it for me.
Ghost125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I don't really like any of the newer stuff, with the exception of a song here and there, but I like older stuff like Run DMC. I like almost all other music though.
bettergetout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I usually like the beat of a song but then the lyrics make me want to throw shit.
EvilJackCarver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The lyrics are a problem too, but my main issue is with how it seems all of them I hear on the road through down windows, the car body, and sometimes even the registration plate is the same 8-beat WOOOOOOOM, WOOM-WOOM-WOOM (The first one lasting three beats, the others being the fourth beat, and the bass bit being silent the next measure)
MyUshanka ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:08:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"My favorite rappers are... Eminem, Asher Roth, Macklemore, Action Bronson, Mac Miller...
It's not a race thing though!"
Crazc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mac Miller, Eminem, and Macklemore I know. Who tf are the other two?
Giroux-TangClan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asher Roth is the "I love college" guy. He's actually a great rapper but that song kind of fucked the chances of 90% of people taking him seriously.
Action Bronson is a retired chef that started rapping. He is hilarious and talented
Crazc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, time to put another name in my list of favorite rappers. I'm disappointed in myself for not hearing of Action Bronson sooner. That song is hilarious.
icandoesbetter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I totally get it. They're styles are all so similar...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
(only listens to lil dicky voice) i love rap music
flipping_birds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...Iggy, Kreashawn, and Bubba Sparks.
godwings101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or "I like all music, but this is just noise"
BKTrumbull231 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like all music except country AND rap! Country music is the same stuff every time and rap just seems like it has 0 effort put in by anyone. Never mind the terrible lyrics, most of the time I can't even understand what the fuck they are saying.
356afan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I need to upvote the holy hell out of this!!!!!!!
FiddyFo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:33:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope to God this is troll bait.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the problem with both is that mainstream rap and country songs are pretty identical to other mainstream rap and country. If you don't like those 1 to 3 different variations on the same thing you're not going to like the genre. But with both country and rap there are some absolutely brilliant songs if you do a bit of searching.
TheUltimatum13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd just like to say that you are basing this off of pop songs for those genres. I truly love every genre of music no matter how much, or how little, I listen to one style. I also don't listen to must of the top ten songs for each genre. Look for more off stuff and you will here some of the greatest lyrics that speak to your truly in a rap song. Maybe a country song you never even heard of reminds you of a summer day you had as a kid. It's really easy to find good songs in every genre.
Listen to this one by Watsky. The lyrics are awesome.
RudolphJimler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pick one. Seriously though just because you don't understand it doesn't make it bad, don't be so close minded
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
wackawacka2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand what your point about Sting is.
nyhcjedi5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even worse is "I like all music". Generally this person can't name 5 bands/groups they like.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 15:47:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
356afan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well duh!
GreenMansions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure most of you missed the point here. SMH.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:12:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, let's be honest alot of the rap on the net is angsty teenagers who want to become big like dre, eminem and the like.
related
uncre8ive ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:56:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The moocher class"
HIMYNAMEISALVEE ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:28:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't smile because its over, smile because it happened"
compaqle2202x ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:31:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...that's not the correct phrase.
HIMYNAMEISALVEE ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:56:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fucking retarded
bonerfar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gluten free
compaqle2202x ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:32:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are people who legitimately can't have gluten for medical reasons. Seems odd to dislike them for something out of their control.
But if you're talking about trendy idiots, sure.
bonerfar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
true, one out of a million. I bet they aren't dumb enough to take a chance at eating at A FUCKING PIZZERIA. the air in those places would kill a celiac
energylegz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry my not wanting to shit straight mucous offends you :(
energylegz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry my not wanting to shit straight mucous offends you :(
bonerfar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry you're incapable of properly educating yourself, and instead jumped on the bandwagon like the other fad dieters. I don't consume gluten myself, and am actually healthier for it. THAT DOES NOT MEAN GLUTEN WAS MAKING ME UNHEALTHY!!! I also removed all sources of bromides, refined sugars, artificial sweeteners, artificial everything really, starches, and excess natural sugars; I increased my intake of fiber, potassium magnesium, water, iron, calcium, protein, fat, folate, vitamin A, and iodine. If you were to extract the protein known as gluten, and add it to my diet it would have zero adverse effects. It's the sources of excess metabolic glucose that were causing inflammation and invoking a high insulin response. Furthermore, the lack of sufficient fiber was preventing my body from removing dietary cholesterol. Now that I've properly educated myself on nutrition: I've lost 100lbs, lowered my cholesterol, reduced inflammation, allowed my thyroid to absorb iodine instead of bromine, and regularly shit like I should.
Knowledge is power energylegz, but I suppose ignorance is bliss. Have fun replacing gluten with unhealthy carb(glucose) filled alternatives, good luck with your inevitable diabetes and try not to infect to many other gullible idiots like yourself. alternatively, you could do some research.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm an atheist"
I'm an atheist too but when somebody just says "I'm an atheist" its because they want you to know they are an atheist. Usually it's neckbeards who say it
FlamboyantOstrich ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:18:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about when it's just in a response to a question?
"What church do you go to?"
"I'm an atheist"
Am I a neckbeard for that now?
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 03:32:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, I mean when somebody says it for the sake of making sure you know
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you dislike people for letting you know they're Christian or Muslim?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No response, big surprise.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they say it outright, yeah
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then why just single out atheists?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:11:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because atheists do it more
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not in my experience. But the places I've lived have been pretty religious.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, the over use of the word Actually.
bionix90 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:24:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I overuse "honestly" and I hate it but I don't even realize I do it until after the fact.
Zeeero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, me too
ibbolia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually don't mind, honestly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife uses that word and follows it with ...and not to be funny (sigh)
godwings101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I overuse "literally" and "basically", and even times what I'm explaining won't be very basic at all. I know I do it, and catch myself when I do, but can't always help it.
RamsesThePigeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I would of done alot of things everytime, but everyday I think I could of done something, I get less then I wanted."
HellfireAgnostic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who constantly use the wrong words and or spelling.
RamsesThePigeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Essentially, yes. Some examples are (obviously) worse than others.
Umimum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's so clutch"
swirlloop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:40:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Here for a good time, not for a long time".
Not with that attitude, idiot.
iBleeedorange ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"With all due respect...."
ratherbkayaking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Headcount" You may be a fucking corporate robot, but I and my coworkers are people or employees. Not headcount.
BevansDesign ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's so much bullshit language used in business by people who never think about what they're saying, but are just trying to sound more competent.
"Creative" isn't a noun. I'm a designer, not a creative. I make designs, not creatives.
ratherbkayaking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We were encouraged to read "how Google works". They use the term "smart creative". <Shudder>
camalittle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bro".
TheShadowQuill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people actually say "lol" mid-conversation instead of laughing.
The_Yar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahahahahahaha!
masked9000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have a high pain tolerance." You're full of yourself
FofaBett ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Star Wars, Star Trek...whatever, same thing"
Trezzie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ayy lmao" does a pretty effective job.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't be racist/sexist/etc because ... Bullshit, everyone is capable of those brands of assholery.
JacksonSqueaks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep Calm and Chive On! All the Chivers in my life are assholes and so are the ones NOT in my life.
brilliantlyInsane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm proud to be a bitch."
Evidently she is not aware that everyone else considers this a bad thing.
dontxblink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"HahGAYYYYYYY"
Only funny if youre saying this to a good friend who is actually gay. Otherwise, please stop using "gay" as an insult. It only further promotes the belief that being gay is a negative thing.
Callyopi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if the act itself you were using this phrase to describe, is in fact gay? Like you walk in on your roomie jacking it to gay porn? Can I do it then?
dontxblink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:43 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would say yes, jacking it to gay porn is pretty fucking gay.
princess_penelope24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-"I just don't get along with other women. I don't know what it is, but I just get along with guys so much better!!" -annoying female.
-"I seen <insert anything>." No you didn't. You SAW that. You didn't seen it. come on now!
JuggernautV2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:25:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those girls who act all flirty and girl like and all of a sudden start having social orgies with dudes where she tries too hard
kelou4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's about ethics in gaming journalism"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:13:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hello! Mr. Privileged Cis White Shitlord Mansplaining (and spreading!) Extraordinaire here.
It's actually "game journalism" ... but, "gaming journalism" is close enough.
Love ~ The worst person to ever live.. like, ever. Seriously.
doubt_the_lies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IT WAS A PRANK BRO!!!
cocosoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"rekt"
anonpls ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
xD, Xd, XD
or any other variations thereof.
Darkstar67 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just my luck"...Coming from the mouth of an upper middle class white American with all the advantages in the world after a minor mishap.
ekyrt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We don't vaccinate our children. We don't believe in it."
LocoRocoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling me a hipster cause I like an indie band that you've never heard of. Ok, have fun listening to your shit.
Thebaberhamlincoln ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Boys will be boys" = Behavior explained away by antiquated gender stereotypes.
T4R6ET ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference"
blaghart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Black Lives matter
Namely because A) it tells me you know only what you read in the media and haven't even bothered to visit a website like killedbypolice.com or any of the dozens of others that list who's been killed by police (hint, it's not just black people. It's not even mostly black people. Everyone's getting killed by cops, and only by standing together will anything change. Not by rioting or screaming obsenities at white people) and B) I've seen where racial divisioniary nonsense like that leads, and it leads only to prejudice and hate.
nixam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Winner winner chicken dinner". Go fuck yourself.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being called an 'islamaphobe' or 'misogynist' simply for criticising Islam or Feminism. Both words are basically ways of stopping any sort of conversation that could be harmful to either of the two fragile, fragile belief systems.
truthdoctor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a patient says "thank god". No, thank your doctors.
irononreverse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird how these phrases are so embedded in our language.
I'm not religious at all but still have difficulty finding replacements for "oh my god", " bloody hell " and "Jesus Christ!" As an exclamation. "Oh my word" doesn't really have the same ring to it.
mugbys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Evolution is just a theory"
redshift83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"sheeple"
JCutlerHasTourettes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve" are we just gonna ignore the incest???
Allinim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but... IDK about english speakers but french ppl tend to use it a lost and usually what comes after IS racist
VanNassu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right in the feels.
sambamyesmam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have more guy friends than girl friends, because I seriously hate the drama"
Mndless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Finding this to be increasingly more accurate.
DagonDoesDallas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People who ask to "lend" something. They get the weirdest look on their faces when I say "Sure" and hold my hand out expectantly. They actually want to borrow something, but they're too stupid to understand terms like "lending" and "borrowing", or the difference between the two. And we let these people apply for credit cards and home loans. Terrifying.
squidperior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No haters
I hate fake bitches
I'm not a judgemental person
No one loves everything and no one goes through life without judging a single thing. I also don't understand how someone can be fake, I understand the term I just hate the phrasing.
kinjinsan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a World Trade Center survivor and a guy who worked for over a decade for two companies in both towers, anything along the lines of "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams!" or "clearly a controlled demolition" will make me want to slap you. Hard.
to_the_mother ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"the first generation of pokemon was the only good one"
RelotZealot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a dj."
johndoe60610 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sheeple," regardless of affiliation. Shows a complete lack of critical thinking. Or thinking.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same difference.
Havok310 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love this thread for this phrase being on here more than once. I honestly thought I was alone. Anyone I've ever complained about it to said I was being nitpicky...
NO, I'm being grammatically correct and prefer saying things that make sense!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It just makes absolutely NO cents.
edit: you'll know it when you see it.
Hulksstandisthehulk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same Difference" annoys me to no end
NotEqual15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Black lives matter"
mooglesrus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"god works in mysterious ways" yeah, no he doesnt.
lepepepew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Vegetarian.
hornestur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black Lives Matter
PolishTea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't put that in my body"
Ok. Enjoy your organic food and anti vax bullshit, btw your birth control is literally made up of hormones. Think it through.
YourMomIsADragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're not vaccinating our children.
thekillerofnugs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
irregardless
Post_op_FTM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check your privilege
chiminage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"They don't think it be like it but it do".....you just sound like a dumbass
Bagelstein ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So random".
"I'm so random" and "That was so random" are the two most prominent offenders.
TheRogueMalice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:01:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a feminist.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus has it been a week already from the last repost. Time sure does fly when you keep reading the same shit every day!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bigotry.
sitaenterprises ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:49:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let me tell you something about the negro..."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but...
dragonbab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you are a "gamer" huh? You waste your time.
Ignorant ass people annoy the hell out of me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:32:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thank god"
Fuck him and his stupid ideas and badly executed plans.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:33:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:36:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but" or "The thing about muslims is..."
Anything along those lines is pretty much instant "This guy is a fucking peenarse"
daddymonk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:11:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like Donald Trump"
AlejandroMP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:37:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[proudly] "I'm not good at math!"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:52:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The rich need to be taxed more."
patzr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:38:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor says: "No need to be altered but..."
swift101raptors ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:43:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate my mom
Mattubic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase but correcting grammar or improper use of words.
People make typos, especially while typing on a phone screen. No one replying to a reddit thread is looking to get published. Your brain is going to fill in the blanks or interpret the correct meaning through context.
annoyingstranger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:05:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And if it doesn't, that's the audience's problem, never the writer's...
Mexicantdie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We need to take our country back." Or any variation of "The way things are headed in this country" I live in the Bible Belt, apparently bad things are coming?
Dyshviccer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love gays but they shouldn't be allowed to marry because the bible says so"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in education. When I meet a teacher looking for a new job and the first thing they say is how brown/ethnic their former schools or districts are, the first thing I think of is how racist and awful of a teacher this person is. Not to mention, you never introduce yourself and start complaining right off the bat. NEVER. You become the whiner forever.
"Ready to settle down," "Will I be teaching honors", these are all telltale phrases of teachers who don't want to work with minority students, students who need extra effort. And they act like saints because they were in TFA, or worked inner city for one or two years so they think they "deserve" a "better school." They also wedge in "my kids" like that makes them less bigoted. We don't need teachers like that, go be a housewife. Education is a matter of social justice. You don't want to help? Kindly fuck off. You're what's wrong with education and you're hurting children. Kids can tell if you don't care about them either. They have no reason to behave and do well when they have the mean racist teacher "looking for greener pastures." Not to mention, with the unions, we get stuck with these self-interested, self-absorbed teachers when you hire them so honestly, there should be more barriers for these parasites.
Mullenkedheim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone refers to another as "individual". For example, "Well he always struck me as a strange individual."
It always comes off, to me, as trying to dehumanize the person in question. They're not a person, they're just an "individual". The word "individual" is fine, but it's this context that people use it in.
Untraceablez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, you'll change you're mind about it later."
Yes, because you know my entire personal perspective, the workings of my mind, and future, and also the objective truth of the world, which means eventually, I'll come to the same stupid conclusion as you.
Not necessarily. Sure, if evidence and circumstances show truth in a statement, I may change my mind, given concrete evidence. But I won't automatically change my mind just because time. Not all opinions of old people are formed by wisdom. A lot of them are just personal opinions and preferences, solidified into stone, and therefore presumed fact by the holder of said opinion.
As you can tell, this is something that pisses me off a lot.
Also, the many times listed, generic "I'm not W, but XY about Z is sooo true."
No, it's not true, you once again presumptuous ass. A handful of instances a universal truth does not make. You're projecting your small observation of the world, onto the entire world. And it's arrogant / idiotic.
OP, thank you, that vented a lot of stress to say that, oddly enough.
poltergoose420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:07:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also anyone who tells me they don't tolerate bullshit especially teachers or authority figures who ".won't put up with bullshit" I lose all respect immediately.
SyntheticGod8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must cause a lot of bullshit.
7seat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure why, but the word "whatnot"
UnleashDOTA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What?
elOso5442 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people refer to the president (of your choice) and refer to them in a vulgar manner or without their title. At least show some respect in your thought process and refer to them as President Whomever. And then of course they follow up their argument with "This is why I don't vote"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege."
Itsnotironic444 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey chef! Just learn people's names.
IAmMikki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We've chosen not to vaccinate our child.
Iphonegalaxymobile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't eat pork
cleverfool27 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:55 on August 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't possible to racist against white people.
PortugueseBreakfast_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Job title: "Full time mummy" - that's not a job you cunt.
bigfinnrider ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:00:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to Tutankhamun.
Blancast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck it, better than most of these cunts nowadays that go to day care at 7 in the morning, have breakfast lunch and dinner then get picked up by mum and dad at 6 in the evening after they've been to the gym or whatever. What's the fucking point in having kids if all you're going to do is go to work Monday to Friday. Raise your fucking child.
PortugueseBreakfast_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't want to scrounge on benefits, is there much else of a choice? Somewhere in the middle? Ha.
Blancast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can have a husband, or even a stay at home husband. Not all mums scrounge on benefits.
PortugueseBreakfast_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that. It's people who refer to their jobs as 'full time mummy' or whatever that is annoying.
Blancast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends if they're single or not most of the time, I do understand the types you're on about though mate don't you worry. The ones where they have "....... mummy" in the middle of their fucking Facebook name. Say for example some local slappers name is tiffany patmore. Their Facebook name would then be Tiffany 'Luke's Mummy' Patmore. Those people anger me a lot haha
waxxor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's almost like..."
"Yea because..."
It's almost like some people can't make conversation without phrasing their thoughts in a passive-aggressive, sarcastic comment.
Yea because some of us can't leave a comment without sounding like a little smart-ass!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've found that people who use this (99% via Reddit comments) don't even have a valid point to make. They just want to dismiss someone else's argument, and the easiest way is to leave a single sarcastic comment. It doesn't prove anything, and only shows that the person is incapable/unwilling to actually examine the issue with context.
I'm guilty of having done this once or twice, and I immediately feel like an idiot because I know I'm making a lazy, douchey blanket statement.
godwings101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost like you don't like people because you chose such a weird pair of phrases.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a vegan"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The overuse of NSFW
Chino1130 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well that's my opinion and it is my right.."
novelty_bone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
gratz. you have your opinion. now I get to think your opinion is idiotic bullshit for the same reasons.
SteroidSandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"[Insert complaint]. I have kids"
The_Potato_God99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Xbox is better than PC"
noSeriousTag
cook_mons4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They claim they have no room for dessert? Well you should have thought about that before
Sweeting_Thorns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cheeky Nando's." I hope you choke on your cheeky Nando's ya cheeky prick.
aeiouabc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Whatever..." when they just failed at something they really tried.
madreofdragons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people complain or bitch but preface it by saying "I just think it's funny that..." or "Isn't it hilarious how..."
We know you don't think it's actually funny, and that you are in fact just vaguebooking and talking shit about someone in the hopes that they'll see it and all the support you're bound to get from your idiotic friends.
goodgulfgrayteeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On a going forward basis...". Oh, hey, FUCKHEAD, do you mean" from now on"?
jebascho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a taxpayer..."
RdDrtCoozie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and whatnot
Green-gecko-lizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just cant
Taraalcar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some variation of "Hey, I'm just asking questions." Usually said by conspiracy theorists
Dhrakyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I want"
peteybob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
They are actually saying "I AM racist and here's why...."
sueltair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't you see my tumblr post?
niggabloggerglory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so random".
lynnyfer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just playing devil's advocate..."
hastala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less."
fartybushausen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense but...". Inevitably followed by something offensive. Same with: "with the greatest respect"
LittleLinnell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae.
LoBsTeRfOrK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This country is going to hell because of X
Bonus points if someone mentions Obama.
Qtips_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I drive better drunk.
no you dont you fucking piece of shit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Misuse of the word "literally" (reminds me of that HIMYM episode)
"Say it louder for the people at the back"
"Spread this like wildfire"
As a reaction to someone who's successful/sexy/productive - "Meanwhile I'm just a socially awkward penguin who can watch x seasons of [insert random tv show that's worshiped by teens on tumblr] on netflix in one sitting lol. Oh and who needs boyfriends when you have boybands? #PizzaIsLife."
caligold1911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I ever say, "what's up" to you and you respond with, "the sky, ceiling, etc." just know that I want to strangle you
Womp2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I do apologize"
I shudder whenever somebody says that. It just seems so forced and doesn't make sense!
Egortiz15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Donald trump for prez
Veggiebarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This is why we can't have nice things". It's beyond unoriginal at this point.
Makes me want to shoot a rich couple and leave their son alive in a dark alley way.
loveasaconstruct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything except rap and country"
whistletits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"full time mommy"
Rebelpride1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"fuck the police"
"All police are assholes and racists"
Well, maybe if you actually did what you were told when you were drunkenly driving home or skateboarding on private property, they wouldn't be assholes to you.
mvr00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but....." and "It's not hurting anyone"
tenthinsight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"love it or leave it". Drives me insane.
downvoted_your_mom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am enlightened by my own intelligence"
itwillstarted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Have you never been?" Also "have you been?" Makes me want to claw my eyes out...
JimmyTheBones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could care less
SweetToes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bro... Hey bro. BRO!"
I speak French and it sounds horrible when guys are trying that line. I want to slap them.
jfischer- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"word"
PokeFire78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
30 something co worker woman in good looking shape: why are you dieting so much? You're 22 and in good shape... I'm in good shape because I diet... And there is something called intestines where if you eat a bunch of shit you get heart disease and cancer when you get older..
kimchee242 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yolo
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bush did 9/11
Tfw you realize they are serious
IrbyTumor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
X Privilege... or any Privilege as though it's a thing.
muaythaiislife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chillin with "bae"
barrysh11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have all these great ideas but not enough time, could you follow through this project for me?
medpreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hillary would make a great President.
Mostsubssuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bro. Hey bro. Thanks bro.
Kmc2958 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry I'm not sorry". Ughhhhh
hurumph1019 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just playing devil's advocate"
dirtymoney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"my bad"
Couch_Yam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"you sir are a gentleman and a scholar"
usually said with the gnarly combination of gas station food and some spots that were missed while shaving.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
No shit?
madmansmarker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love your vibes" "your vibes have great energy" lI'm vibing" ugh it really is the equivalent of the word "moist". Also, "organic music".
cyreides ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"the gays"
Sofie_Emilie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of things really, however one I heard recently, "pregnancy is not a disease" made me really mad, despite not being pregnant (or ever having been pregnant). I honestly thought it was common knowledge that for many women pregnancy is not at all comfortable and can literally be 9 months in hell. Yet people feel the need to point out that a pregnant woman is, in fact, not sick (despite throwing up every day, being in pain etc). The fact that someone cannot sympathize with this is incredible to me. I mean, I've never heard people giving me shit for being hungover (or giving anyone else shit for it, for that matter), they just feel sorry for me, despite the fact that hangovers, as well as pregnancies, are usually the result of a little too much fun in good company.
iocanada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not x but..."
Max_Powers08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amazeballs.
PophamOG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Banter
bumblebeatrice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Devils Advocate"
I will hate you for the rest of your life.
siunnanonymous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Woke up like this"
MeRikeyBouncy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want to be a dick but... (something very dickish)
EveryOfTheTime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And boom goes the dynamite"
mobiuslogic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Uh oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mun-days!"
blondandconfused ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Alls I gots to dos" Never. Speak. Again.
DickVonFuckstick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Here, let me heal your sore shoulder with reiki. Don't worry, it might tickle or feel warm, it's normal. Feel it?"
No, I don't fucking feel it because you can't fucking transfer your energy like Son fucking Goku, you nutcase.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hubby, preggers, or any of the stupid hastags every wedding seems to have associated with it nowadays.
indigoreality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a great business opportunity for you
neat_klingon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ich habe ja nichts gegen Auslรคnder, aber..."
Translates to: I have nothing against Immigrants, but...
A phrase by which you can recognize German right extremists and Nazis.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but ..."
Rawbby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No hook-ups" in a girl's Tinder bio
lloorren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Rad", "Dope", moreso "rad". I hate that word, I physically cringe. It just sounds like the kind of thing that someone with no real human interaction would say after watching an afterschool special.
bjneath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little late to the thread but "epic fail." I can't stand it. don't bring the internet into real life!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who use "business slang" in everyday conversation.
These same people typically treat all their friends and acquaintances as nothing more than "business alliances." Thanks but no thanks.
SulfurTongue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep calm (insert whatever dumb phrase)"
backstept ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let me tell you about essential oils . . ."
boydave777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(sending)good vibes...theyre just parroting some other pseudo hippy that likes to much dubstep and its just retarded
elrefai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck da police
UncreativeTeam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Particularly in a business setting:
"It is what it is."
"Keep me honest here."
"Let's take this offline."
countz3r0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let's table that discussion."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Needless to say..."
This phrase literally does not need to be said. If you don't have to explain what follows, you don't have to waste my time with "needless to say..." If you're going to explain what follows anyway, you needed to say it.
Wrum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi-Diddly-Doodly"
flameguy21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I was on 4chan...
k_wolford87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On fleek. HATE.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WTF is fleek?
k_wolford87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:33:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
EXACTLY. Kids say it now in reference to something being "on point." Why can't they just say "on point!?" What's a fucking fleek???? UGH
BelmontZiimon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Religious people/atheists are stupid"
-said no one intelligent.
"Atheists are immoral"
-said no one moral.
"Religion/atheism needs to be abolished"
-says the ones who instigate conflict.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it funny that some religious people think atheists are immoral because they don't do good things for the ultimate reward of heaven. Isn't it more moral to do good for the sake of good than thinking you will be punished or rewarded for the way you act?
Metalasanartform ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Love the sinner, hate the sin"
Fuck you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Making a statement in a Reddit post, usually describing someone's actions, then a sentence after it which reads:
MOTHERFUCKER I AM GOING TO POINT OUT FLAWS IN YOUR BEHAVIOUR.
_swedish_chef_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Blah blah blah, ergo, blah blah"
antjelly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"u still there?"
I put my phone down for five minutes to make some lunch, calm down dude.
msbadwolf420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm voting for Trump..." Or "Being gay is worse than prostitution." Idiots....
digitalrebelution ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You do you."
not877 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase "I don't know." There are so many better ways to say you don't know that make you much more imposing.
cruelsound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No worries."
Ok, Sugar Ray.
Shayla06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's JUST a dog..." (or cat or llama etc)
metaldracolich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is anything alone the lines of 'Walmart is an evil company'. I worked there for a while and the only time I heard it is from people buying cart loads of cheep crap they couldn't afford elsewhere.
somedelightfulmoron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase but phrases. Especially if a person starts to speak in MEMES and NETSPEAK.
"ROFLMAO U GOT PWNED" "Oh thanks" "I see what you did there..." "Can you please stop that?" "Awwwkward penguin..." (Proceed to thump head on wall)
DNA_LEVEL_C ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Now this is a stupid question but..." It makes me assume that the question will be stupid
Tahoeclown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't do that". What can I say, I hate authority
fully_torqued_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You should shave your beard."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(if female) You should too.
mundaneclipclop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir, you're making a scene." ... Jerks!
countz3r0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you even lift, bro?"
idislikeapple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you even lift, bro?
thespickler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Gluten free"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone who is genuinely allergic. I get what you are saying though, a lot of people - for some reason - think gluten is bad for you.
xandernowey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when you say something to somebody and they go: "What do you mean _______?!" I mean what I just fucking said do not make me repeat myself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think Donald Trump just might make a good president.
WAHT?
TheTentMaster3000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Back in my day..."
ZIP-ZAP-CAT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely despise the phrase "agree to disagree." Bitch, we were having a meaningful conversation about differing opinions and then you just drop that shit and walk away?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They don't want to argue anymore because it is going nowhere.
Kingful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
.
Jarebear666420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a psychology major."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...so it is clear you want to fuck your mom, like every other man."
In all honesty, though, I am a psychology major haha. Serious question: What is the problem with psychology?
Jarebear666420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I mention something about myself to my friends that are psych majors, they try to dissect and diagnose, out-loud, why I feel/act the way I do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. That would piss me off too. But remember there are probably millions of vegetarians out there and only the ones telling you about it all the time really make the bad name.
iamareddituserama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know my name not my story"
UnrulySupervisor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MY DAD!
"The real side to it is..."
That's his favorite line he speaks whenever he is about to tell you a fact.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"A whole 'nother..." "I literally can't even." "[X] on fleek." "You're so smart for somebody your age!" (I'm 16)
Massi_Moto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm blessed" and "I'm well and hope you are too". obviously responses to a how are ya doing type question. that's pretty much a conversation killer and a major fuck you.
taj693 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bless your heart
crewblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep it real" is usually a self-awarded license to be a judgmental asshole.
A_Flat_Minor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less"
Misaniovent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any variant of trigger that isn't said sarcastically. You're triggering my murder-response.
mikeltru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not an exact phrase but those people that only upload images with phrases to Instagram. I used to follow a girl that did that. She used to upload images with phrases like "My favorite age is NOW" or "Fuck I feel good".
3EyedPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going for a sneaky pint after work."
There's nothing sneaky about that..
I also hate when people say cheeky nandos
yungsophie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"society"
"this generation"
"social media has"
i hate the word social media omf
AaronovichtheJoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not that I'm challenging you, or trying to be a dick in any way, but what alternative phrase would you use for types of media through which people socialize?
yungsophie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just use the damn name if the social network lol
"Twitter users" etc. Also it's abused. Moderation is key, I hear that shit on the reg and its always like "how has social media changed x" and its always the same dumb social commentary.
midnightis247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same difference.
spamjam09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anything with the word "-Gate" at the end of it. DeflateGATE GamerGATE
Watergate was a place, not a suffix that means scandal. I understand why it's used, it just bugs me.
israblof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a _____, so it's OK for me to say that"
i.e. "I'm black, so I can say n****r", or "I'm a Jew, so I can make Jew jokes"
nrobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people who use business jargon for completely ordinary things. Example: "Going forward, we're going to reach out to Carol in accounting for her perspective on the reorganization plan."
CanuckCentral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My bad!"
outerspace_p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL you cant say anything without annoying one person.
Boush117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to the Internet.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If someone is a "Meninist"
mbertels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase necessarily, but I had met my friend's fiance a few times, and he was incredible nice and I really liked him. Then out of nowhere he went on a 10 rant about how any woman who marries him will absolutely be taking his name and I haven't liked him since.
BeanpoleOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me, it's when someone uses a cliche instead of actually thinking something through. "That's just the way it is" or "You gotta do what you gotta do" for example.
BaconisFun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bruh... Instantly hate them.
user_account_deleted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
Fuck off.
chuckmcbeef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference" it is such a stupid, moronic thing people say when they are corrected.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Working hard or hardly working?" fuck you cunt I'm on break.
MrNeedAbout350 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's legit! Literally!
MyMorningEarlGrey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like being (racist/sexist/homophobic/...) but...
Oh yea, you don't like to be an asshole and yet you are.
tttulio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here and now.
wHUT_fun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know I'm crazy."
Catch-22, motherfucker.
Or "it's because of my {insert disorder here}."
Did a doctor say you have it? No? Then shut up with your self-diagnosis!
EdgeoftheOcean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Step out of the vehicle please, sir
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But I digress". Shut the fuck up.
the-lone-wanderer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone uses the phrase "fee fees," I assume they're an asshole.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word "problematic."
volk203 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone refers to themselves as a "young professional"
texassunshine1006 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love me some ______"
coryeyey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just heard an acquaintance say this yesterday and made me instantly dislike him. And he was not being one bit sarcastic, I made sure.
"Donald Trump is what this country needs to get back into shape."
RoyalGush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My step-mum says "made of awesome win" all the god damn time, as if that was ever an ok thing to say.
Ebriate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I hear 3 "oh my god" statements during normal conversations.
Oh my God that's so annoying.
Honorable mentions are "you know what I'm sayin" or "like" in between every 5 words.
Tajslayer3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"In my opinion..."
TYwalde15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"IM A FEMINIST!"
Bamstarr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's so fresh" or just "So fresh"
I've noticed a lot of women 35+ say this often and it drives me nuts.
xtina198603 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say: "go hard, or go home", "c'est la vie", and "pacifically" instead of "specifically"
And on a side note, every second Big Brother contestant who feels the need to make a point about how "you don't wanna mess with [them] because [they're] always ready for an argument or fight and [they'll] never back down because [they] always win, get what they want and [are] really outspoken"! Urgh, spare me!
penea2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why haven't you decided what to do with your life yet? You're at the ripe age of 14, you should know what your future is already. Jesus Christ people I'm not ready Im just becoming a sophomore. Sure, I'm considering options, but I shouldn't know what I want hands down already
donteattheshrimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Happy Monday!"
"Happy Friday!"
"Made it to hump day!"
Any of that mindless small talk office banter.
thepanichand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If your Facebook or other social profile lists you as having attended "the school of hard knocks", go away.
noyfbfoad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was dating online, "down to earth" would make me nope right out of there. Unoriginal, overused and means nothing. And you sound like you're an idiot that never tries new things.
LilMerm8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate cats" First I get angry, then I make it my mission to convert them
markoshino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I cant have sex, im waiting til marriage." Blehhh.
soulstonedomg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Deja vu all over again
That's redundant! Translates to "already seen all over again." I hate people that say this. It's just deja vu.
AaronovichtheJoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a popular quote from baseball Hall-of-Famer, Yogi Berra, who was partly known for making pithy, tautological, and sometimes paradoxical statements including the also well-known "It ain't over 'til it's over," as well as "You can observe a lot by watching," and my personal favorite "Always go to people's funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours."
Like Yogi himself, I think a lot of people say this phrase ironically. Or maybe not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The chive on thingy. I instantly am filled with hate
HybridGirth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm an asshole and I'm not sorry."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Vaccines cause autism."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We did it, reddit!"
Valencia4eva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Obama's fucking up"
STFU!
robotto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Working hard or hardly working". Just fuck off.
ialready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Live. Laugh. Love.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I work in Health & Safety"
VincentTakeda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
โข 'It is what it is' โข 'Just thought I'd share' โข 'Dont even go there'
HybridGirth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not an asshole, I just speak my mind.
CanIUseThisOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm actually really funny"
ScrewFlanders19125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate pizza"
Ben_Ulrand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Struggle/the struggle is real/struggle bus"
North_Korean_Jezus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same difference.
myPlums ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for living. Ugh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"cool beans"
I don't know why just don't say it
The_Haunting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just Nuke them all!"
ChickenNuggie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I will reach out to them/him/her."
"I will circle back with them/him/her."
Limonhed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense intended, But.....
Eagle08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae
CourageOfOthers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'At least I say it to your face'. Great, you're a tactless fuckwit.
Pietart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't tell me what to do!"
As in: "Hey bro, could you stop using my desk to snort coke?"
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO."
Or: "Hey, it's your turn to do the dishes."
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO."
Holy shit I'm mad just thinking about it.
a_little_angry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says heighth instead of height. Or use ideal instead of idea.
themikeswitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
supposebly
PortugueseBreakfast_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just banter" - there's a fine line between banter and just being a cunt. And you my friend have crossed the line if you have to use this phrase. Cunt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The customer is always right!"
Geriatric05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got no filter bro!
Know wh'I'm sain??
Maxymilan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It says so in the bible"
TheAVrenegade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just lost my (insert activity or food item) virginity."
Relating food and sex is just plain disgusting.
AaronovichtheJoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thematically they've actually had a pretty close relationship throughout literature and mythology. Mostly in the Western world due to the apple from the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden.
TheAVrenegade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, how does the apple of Eden relate to sex?
AaronovichtheJoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tree of knowledge/Carnal knowledge, loss of innocence, etc. The connection has been a staple of Judea/Christian symbolism for centuries and persists today in popular culture.
Wyvrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who vape can annoy by how zealous they are about it. But that's not what this thread is about. this thread is about when vapers call smoking cigarettes "smoking analog" because that is the stupidest thing i have ever fucking heard.
themikeswitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i'll pray for you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I understand the abortion debate. I am all for killing babies, but I don't think women should make that decision."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Social Contract"
You just know you're going to be hearing blabble from a SJW...
anticatoms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The worst decisions make the best stories"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I've lost faith in this generation!!"
DaWaifuLaifuChoseMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wow you're a [enter console name here]! That console sucks! [console name] rulez! The [console name] controller is hard to use...etc.
If you're a true gamer, don't hate on the effing console! Get the console that has the most games you like then SHUT UP AND PLAY. Only hate on terrible games though...
Tokemon_and_hasha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like Domino's Pizza"
MagicGroomer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I see..
wrongwayseppuku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to go smoke."
freshlybakedteehee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" I used to be a real asshole when I was younger. I'm a much better person now. " Rarely is this true.
noahgs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fat women who say men who dont want them just dont have the proper "equipment" to handle them
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" if u got swagg holla"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best." I just assume you're constantly a pain in the ass and still want people to treat you however you want to be treated at that particular moment in time.
I_scare_children ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, non-ironically referring to a women by a number indicating her attractiveness (like "she was an 8").
prodriggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone calls me "Boss"...
mm_476 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not fair"
I-shot-you ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase but when someone pronounces ask as "axe". "Can I axe you something?" Holy shit I want to shit on your chest if you say that again
HeirDelta3141 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep slayin boi!
trav3ll3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"GMO's are evil", "We need to live in an oil free world", "We need a global paradigm shift", or any other bullshit. It just tells me that: 1. This person is strongly opinionated yet ignorant. 2. This person doesn't recognize the benefits these technologies provide them. 3. This person thinks other people should put in the work to change the world, and that their job is to tell everybody else to put in work.
No, just no, you're wrong. Fuck you.
thelilpeanut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin'..."
SidewaysTheDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"______ is on the wrong side of history."
TwilightTink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's not a thing" - That thing had better not exist if that's what you say to me.
allIwantisanopinion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Delish.
manila_slim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not gonna lie"
So you have before... to me mother fucker?
monkeyleavings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From a person I just met.
"Well, you know me...I don't put up with that shit!"
firebolt22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone uses the terms "alpha" and "beta males" when talking about humans.
NickeKass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"just kidding" when said to cover up a mistake of some sort.
kblack18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What can I do for you, bud?" that or, "What can I get for you chief?"
Rotiarc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"_____________ is so mainstream..."
TheyCallMeThe-Man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ayy lmao
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in college and came home for the summer. Whenever I ask someone how their year was or how they're doing literally everyone responds: "living the dream"
Idk it just annoys me
AKACombustionMan ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are in a coma
nvrchng ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
el_refrigerator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On point" and still "Epic"
BrobearBerbil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a top commenter on Reddit..."
teufelhunden199 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hella dope! I've got three teenagers living under my roof still, so I hear this phrase far too many times a day!
ChristPuncher79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone suggests people be embedded with a chip to prevent misuse of social welfare benefits abroad
psynapsed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" I'm a nightmare dressed like a day dream"
hoddap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all kinds of music"
PM_me_your_Elephant_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"ME".
For fucks sake, you don't have to say me every fucking time someone does something that you relate with.
jphive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The start of the phrase, "I'm not racist, but..."
SyKoHPaTh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There you go" in a condescending tone when doing something for them.
smithzack21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sucks to suck." Makes me wanna punch my friend in the forehead every time he says it.
Munchen-Out ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" I eat everything organic, non-gmo/gluten free. Yoga blah blah, you eat that? "
johnchapel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Haters make me famous"
The_Quiche_Niche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin'"
DrossSA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word "toxins"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only 2010s kids will get this!"
I be like "Girl, you are 5 years old. Go draw a lion or something."
nickryane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On a dating site:
"Looking for some good banter"
WTF!? Stop using that word.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
AKACombustionMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
Your alarm went off like twenty minutes ago you're late."
ridemyscooter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I do, but that's because I got my degree in electrical engineering, so I didn't have a problem getting a job out of school lol.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like the word "homebody" and anything associated with it. Maybe I'm crazy but I just hate it
AcadieKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "like" every three words
KinMovie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I said please' after asking for something and obviously saying please. I fucking heard you.
hemajor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase that shows up on an image with a background of clouds.
awenclear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just a phase" (to LGBT people)
droo31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Livin' the dream", in response to a simple "how's it going?"
rjgood04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a teacher, I cringed every time I would have to say worksheet... I started calling them laborpapers. Feel free to steal teachers!
ccmof93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When anyone responds to a question or a comment with "Whatever".
alan5sweatshirt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't even" or "I can't"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AKACombustionMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hint: if it's only "like" literally, it's not literally.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Recently hung out with this guy who said "Same" after literally any statement someone made. If you don't have anything to add to the conversation its totally cool to just not say anything, you don't have to force your way into it
Parthorax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people try to argument with made up %'s and / or statistics.
Lukathey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less" key word here: care. It's couldn't God damn it!
Perplex11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a country boy/girl!" After saying something they think makes them cool/edgy.
Jesuit_Santa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, I don't read books."
pixelcoby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go ahead and
osu2008o ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How much did you pay for that?
This makes me crazy and I hate you immediately for asking me.
WassupWassup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate other girls they're too much drama"
Cammy17896 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, I'm not getting any younger."
Thanks dickhead, I had noticed you weren't Benjamin fucking Button.
GiantOutBack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Work to live, don't live to work."
It's always said by the laziest under-performers in my team, which means someone else has to make up for them. You spend 1/3 of your adult life at work, if you don't want to be there, go do something else, take some goddamn pride in it or don't bother.
jameswhunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"In the bible it says that..."
Mingan88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I am in or see a confrontation between a man and a woman, and the woman says, 'What you think you're such a big man?! Hit me! Show me just how big and bad you are!!!"
I always have the urge to do so, and think, 'What if I did though?'
UnderwaterDialect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Cool story bro.'
So dismissive. Go fuck yourself.
xayzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Namaste.
If they are not actually Indian, that is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's pretty fleece"
The fuck? I am not wearing a sweater, and you sound like an asshat.
JMoFilm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it is what it is"
no shit, really?
langotriel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fake it 'til you make it" .. no.
habbathejutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't read."
also
"That city is full of a bunch of lazy n***ers!" That second one might be a bit more specific.
sudo_grep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For the simple fack" (no 't')
shakason ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who use "per-se" in a conversation once.
TheHopesAndDreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sapiosexual"
KingKolder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Buddy
Nerdlockian7700 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I detest when people say Cali instead of California.
AKACombustionMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Forn
K13fbowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally. Out of context, of course. Fckn misguided Canadians with their grammar
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What doesn't Reddit instantly dislike?
papaskittles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gr8 b8 m8
Sorocco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I r8 8/8
Ganglebot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I want to challenge you to X" or "Why don't you prove to me you can Y"
Unless you're my fucking boss, I'm instantly going to pass.
poor_decision ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Puh-sific. Cringe and I think you are stupid (instead of spah-cific)
scalybanana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything where they raise the inflection in their voice at the end of every phrase.
Juxtaposn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hows it going?" "livin the dream"- Not sure why but it pisses me off
flipflapslap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wanderlust" We ALL love travelling. Sorry we don't have as much PTO as you!
d_o_m_9_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offence but....."
RedundantMoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally just heard a lady in the chair next to me (at the salon I work at) say "Hillary Clinton should be in prison." I doubt she's a very friendly person.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My bad."
liqamadik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I dislike you strongly."
Sweggin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"A lot of people don't like me, I guess they just have bad taste." Or basically any phrase implying that they're a bitch or an asshole and they take pride in it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love that Jeff Dunham guy.
Or
I have a pet bird.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "obviously" or "as you know" or "everyone knows"...
LordEnigma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"inbox me"
ironermac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But no, [insert excuse here].
at3oclock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey there buds"
RubioPanTheMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Trump is the best thing for this county!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Instantly dislike someone strongly" comes to mind
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya Think?!?!
fenix_nigger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a woman...[thing unrelated to being a woman]".
FutureTellingPenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not rude, I'm just honest."
Bull-to-the-shit.
fenix_nigger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"#BlackLivesMatter"
moleculariant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any white guy who feels like calling a black person nigger when no black people are nearby. Just because I'm white. Dear man, many of my friends are black, and even they usually refrain from saying nigger when I'm around. AND you are a stinky redneck so go back to your hidey-hole you shit talking trailer trash.
LookingintheAbyss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
OR!
"What it is, is.."
keatonatron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How's everything tasting?"
Food can't taste. It doesn't have a tongue.
fenix_nigger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a white cis male you....."
"Patriarchy"
"Check your privilege"
QuiGonQuinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry bout it," or "sorry - not sorry," in that bitchy little tone. Or anything that uses "TOTES." "Girl we are totes going to that party." Paul Rudd popularized this with I Love You Man and I thank him for his comedy but that word can burn in he'll.
Mevotex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Know what I mean'
DontCallMeAndy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Moving forward..."
Or any of the corporate lingo spez and co have been spewing recently
Whiskey-Dreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Boys will be boys". No.
-MURS- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I audibly exhaled through my nose"
ciambella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I want to speak to the manager" 99.9% of the time it's over some ridiculous bullshit like a price going up or that they didn't like the salad they ordered.
EarthwormJim94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Now, I'm not racist, but..." When a sentence starts like this and it's not out of sarcasm, I immediately don't give a fuck what you're going to say and genuinely feel the world would be better off without you.
pcrnt8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"new year new me"
roniniscariot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Donald Trump has my vote"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I enjoy reddit un-ironically"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a mormon"
0454 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These are phrases used exclusively on this site. If you were to speak like this out in public, you would look like an absolute tool.
!=
it's almost as if _____ were_______
I hate it even when someone uses them in an argument I agree with.
jmorgs2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good fuckin yard
Alphonse121296 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Toodles, ciao, or anything made to make you seem "classy" on your way out. You speak English, so just tell me good bye instead of trying to be cute on your exit.
Yourdoneson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gluten free, but not allergic to gluten
MyNameIsTrue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I refuse to believe that such and such did so and so". No point arguing with them, their mind is made up.
nothesharpest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just sayin"
rattfink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Stand and deliver! Your money or your life!"
First of all, you're robbing me, which isn't cool. Second of all you are a gross hipster anachronistic who's trying to bring back 18th century highway robbery. What is that? Is it an art piece? Is it theater? I want to give you my money even less now because it's going to go support more of your ridiculousness. You'll just have to settle for one kiss of these cherry lips.
DoubleTheLincoln ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Learn to take a joke," when they've just called me a terrorist or a cow-worshipper because I'm brown. One guy yelled this at me after screaming, upon my having entered the room, "he's gotta bomb!"
I was understandably upset, but this didn't stop the rest of the class from insisting that I should "have a sense of humour."
ZachTheBrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Marching band is easy.
StopCannibalismNow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege."
jimmythegeek1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
DuckyMuffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAH GOTEEEM DEEZ NUTZ HEHEHEHEHEH
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"In my own personal opinion...."
I can instantly tell that whatever follows this statement will be hateful, bigoted or generally mean
AnEnzymaticBoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people who say "how come" instead of "why"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How come?
AnEnzymaticBoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
because it's weak, it's two words instead of one, and you just sound like a dumbass when you use it.
fenix_nigger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Gentrification"
tozee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Just wow.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"A good thief is a bad thief", machism stuff, homobofic stuff, racist stuff and etc.
Liniis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's a free country. I can express my opinions if I want to"
And I'm free to express the opinion that you're an asshole.
WorldofGods ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you look at it, everyone is a little [insert mental illness]" Sigh.
cordialcurmudgeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Impactful. Makes me grind my teeth.
ShadyPie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can drive but I haven't got a licence.
pembroke529 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear "have a good one" way too much up here in Canada. I don't have that much hate to spread around.
Archangel_Omega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"According to (Insert daytime TV pseudo quack)......" or "I heard on (Insert daytime TV pseudo quack show)....." and they never bother to check any other sources other than what they heard from Dr Oz, Phil, The Doctors.
KounRyuSui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Tough love"
There are exceptions, but ultimately, I believe humans are too stupid to practice this concept properly. Odds are, if you try to justify your actions as tough love, you're really just being an asshole. Again, there are exceptions. Just don't think you're one of them.
Z0bie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Could of"
MedTainer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
because you're a woman, you wouldn't understand.
Strontoria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am so wasted
Marcusaralius76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"[Insert political or religious statement here]"
Lord_Webthryst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"this too shall pass" especially as a tattoo
jericho2507 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you cant handle me at my worst, you dont deserve me.. at..." uh i cant finish it. You know.
breck2vail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Bud Hey Pal Hey Big Guy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
taniapdx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, as Ayn Rand says..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't want to be that guy, but..."
Icandigsushi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same difference.
looklistencreate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excuse you!
tritonx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sir, you are under arrest.
PorkchopsMcgee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not trying to be mean or anything but.....
joshthor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
C'est la vie
LaMarquesa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At all times."
It just makes it sound like you're trying to be too serious/demanding too much. Just say "All the time."
StuTim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hella.
Vestlerz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people use the word fam, that shit pisses me off
Pixiesmom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"no problem"
oldrockthing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What Say Yee?"
italianhandgun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check Your Privilege"
newloaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
Thanks so much for opening your piehole to bleat, while conveying no information at all.
Frostywood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone says "something something because reasons" ergh God it annoys me so much
manbrasucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had someone say "I like pitbulls they can take a lot of pain". Instant hate.
Omakepants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Valentime's Day
(and like half the other stuff you guys posted too)
thedepster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is." Fuck off.
calactus7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but...
thetempest89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
No it's not what it is, you lazy asshole. You're just to lazy to do anything about it. My boss use to say this all the time.
mrzisme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Whenever a human describes another human or their self as a "brand". If you ever discuss yourself as a "brand", you're automatically an outrageous, self-absorbed asshole in my eyes. This list includes Kayne West, who loves discussing his "brand", multiple Kardashians, who openly discuss themselves as a brand, and basically 75% of pop stars who found fame within the last 5 years. Take special note that actual super stars and personalities of much greater fame & fortune and 10 times the record sales of Kayne never use this word. The only people using this self description are young, idiotic asswipes who've been bamboozled by corporate advertising buzzwords, served to them from these record companies who, although mostly abandoned, can only get retards to sign contracts with their labels.
goldd3000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Muscle weighs more than fat". Drives me nuts
andysayswhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't like dogs." If you don't like dogs and you have never been attacked or something like that, you cannot be trusted!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We have people for that"
Jas106 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when people say "perception is reality". You've never heard of not judging a book by its cover?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Could of."
This is grounds for you to immediately get the fuck outta my face.
TheSupahPlayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You have to see this movie," "You have to listen to this song," "You have to read this book." No, I don't.
Kawaiixlol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yolo
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I do crossfit"
javilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Now I'm not a racist, but..." Followed by something extremely racist.
RSL94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You can tell me, I won't judge" stfu everybody judges including me
Wake_up_screaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Living in Minneapolis, people from Chicago that go on and on about how awesome Chicago is and how much better it is there can go fuck themselves.
Chicago is fine. It is like really big Minneapolis but it smells awful. Chicago-ians are fine. I'm going there in a couple months and I don't plan on going on and on to people I meet about how great Minneapolis is.
Actually, after really thinking about that, I probably would..
Cybergoose13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yolo
imthemostmodest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No pun intended."
Permanent hate. You are the worst type of pompous pseudo-intellectual ass.
It fails for two reasons... if your audience is too dumb to get the pun, pointing it out won't help, and if they're smart enough to get it, pointing it out insults their intelligence.
Register_Rage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They just have to mention one word in a sarcastic tone: "Obamacare"
ctfogo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Who is John Galt?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He/she is my bae. To hell you go.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day..."
I hear that phrase far too often.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I think not."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. Or any variation of it.
chimpyman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"vote for trump"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What heroes/champions can you play?"
"Well technically i can play everything."
If someone says this i won't talk to him for the rest of the day.
sooperkool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"race-baiter" in any context
stunko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ginormous
abigthirstyteddybear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo.
GeneralJabroni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"People keep posting about x and y but they didn't say anything when (insert event where soldiers died at war) in Iraq last year."
Holy shit. A soldier died. That never happens /s. Sorry if I sound insensitive but it's war, ffs, what did you expect?
meepo6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hella"
DarnoldMcRonald ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry not sorry I can't even I can't Fail Win Sir you are not allowed to touch the display
deputyvanhalen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone uses "ethnic" to describe something non-white. I fucking cringe.
ArcticArmor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
myrmonden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was just luck. Especial in relation to gaming, I stream a lot of Hearthstone and people will comment on like omg so lucky he dropped that card against you. Where I am like, e no that card is not even good or the probability was higher then 50% of the effect to happen so. I really dislike people who cant comprehend simple probability.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says anything is "retarded"
THE_BOKEH_BLOKE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like, I mean..."
wyattp23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sucks to suck"
buckyalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using "lol" in verbal conversations as if it were a word. Like holy fuck, this is reality I can see you laugh.
Billythedog101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"how have you not heard of me? Everybody has heard of me." I want to punch anyone I meet in the face who says that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bruh"
SoMuchFuckingRage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know that "bla bla bla" right??
Fuck you pretentious asshole. Why not try to explain kindly why I'm wrong? All it does is me not believing anything you have to say. Congrats asswipe.
retsamegas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a grown ass man!
I've had way to many childish idiots say this to me like it means something.
d1rTb1ke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"why don't you do us both a favor..." nothing good/nice ever comes after that phrase.
PhoenixForce85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't eat chemicals."
42601 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really hate people who say, "I hate people who say that!"
WhackyWavingTubemen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is politically incorrect
Starting_over_IRL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I self identify as...." fuck. I already hate you and know what kinda person you are...
compaqle2202x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am triggered"
TakeTheLemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Need to grab a smoke. Buurgg.
Nikolajoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you dont deserve me at my best" - im probably not the only one who thought about it
neu318 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT and co-worker always uses the word "Wonky" when something is weird or not working properly. Drives me crazy.
m_faustus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Why don't you tell us how you really feel?"
"Okay, I think that you are a smug asshole."
DraketheDrakeist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bush did 9/11" or "I'm not racist, but..."
shwanz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My faith in humanity is lost/restored"
snowingsky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but...
joshually ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is" with a defeatist attitude.
whore_door ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not gonna lie..."
entity2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a <insert profession here>, but" and then proceed to give unqualified advice in a field they have no business giving advice.
ManCaveDaily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vajayjay. Grow up, you're not four.
NecroGi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist....but.."
beaumontmax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's what she said!"
Oh good one dude never heard that one before
metompkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You use the word "game changer..."
OpheliasBreath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a Redditor"
Z1pmeup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you say anything positive about minions. If there is one thing I hate most in this world it's minions. I FUCKING HATE MINIONS.
tomparker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Up against the wall mutherfucker
Generic_Pete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not phrases, but the single words: Bro, Brah, Pal, Buddy, Fella, Governor, Matey, Boss (and for good measure....people who say "aye")
If you say any of the above, chances are you think you're the shit when really you're embarrassing yourself by overcompensating, subliminal or not.
We have names for a reason, learn them or don't bother talking!
(obviously does not apply online )
batmanwithagun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate "bro". Especially if it's used by someone who normally ignores/doesnt acknowledge you but now wants a favour from you.
Generic_Pete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's incredibly condescending, if they're a true bro..someone you've known for years? fair enough..if it's someone like you describe..what a dick!
Intencities92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cray cray
Get the fuck out of here!
hertzsae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On reddit:
"I'll probably get downvoted, but..."
and
"I know I'm posting too late for anyone to notice, but..."
If you have something to say, then say it, don't hide behind some excuse that will make it okay if you don't get a ton of upvotes.
Boush117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I agree so much.
Also, if I may add, the classic "This will get buried, but..." You know what else is getting buried? You, once I find your sorry ass.
subnero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm offended"
Will_FuckYour_Fridge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a furry
sparrow5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Slippery slope."
JorDanisREAL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" All right son" your not my fucking dad
Drewsawed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't smoke weed
PopGoesTheDiesel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi! I'm from the government and I am here to help you."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Another day in paradise!
WhackyWavingTubemen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a vegan and..."
AlexPaterson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have many gay friends but. ..
Intencities92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep Calm and .... "
NO!
Yuza-Mei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i'm not racist, but....
wadetat82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just saying....
TheMSensation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that starts with "As a/n I think......"
swimmingp00ls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to piggy back on what so and so said..."
mr-self-destruct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"the struggle is real"
Naf7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True dat. Burn in a fire. Please.
Frykitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sounds like a personal problem."
DeadStace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people put an "out of context quote of the day" status on fb. Stfu, nobody cares.
Edit: mixed up words. Woops
Voltured ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Haters gonna hate"..
Mewing_Raven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
Okieant33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Totes"
"Totally" was bad enough and now you have to make it worse??
BigVeinyThrobber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't take shit from nobody" - you're a trashy hothead who doesn't pick his battles, you've been to jail several times, can't hold a job and are all around unpleasant to be around
bombinabirdcage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Aaaaactually......"
Charlie_Warlie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Blank" is the Mecca of "Blank."
BehindY0U ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless. Or "Friends are supposed to make fun of each other."
penwielder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's your fucking problem? You wanna get punched?"
Some guy said that to me when I politely asked him to move so I could get past him in a tight corridor (during a party). That phrase really ticks me off.
pustulio18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Dude, don't worry about it"
It is almost exclusively said when I am worrying about something and it is something to worry about.
Me: Do you have that 20$ you borrowed last week?
Them: Dude, don't worry about it. I'll have it soon.
GETLOOSE69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says they like Nickleback
N4pkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
zgardner44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not to toot my own horn, but..."
spacevalkyries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you know who I am?"
Yes. In that one sentence, you have explained to me that you have some kind of internet following and a massively inflated ego.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Before I was a vegan.."
Just don't finish what you're about to say, please.
STLR043 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference."
CuteDorky1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"blank-strong."
i.e.: Boston-strong, Chatanooga-strong, PersonWithCancersName-strong
PM_UR_CLOUD_PICS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be honest," or "I'll be honest with you."
Never trust anyone who says 'Trust me,' and anyone who goes out of their way to tell you that they're being honest is lying.
zero_the_cat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's kind of my thing"
immortalsix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This data comprises..."
hi_snowflake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Constantly referencing Facebook: "well, I saw on Facebook that..." or "my friend on Facebook..." or whatever. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are some cool/funny things posted on there, but every conversation should not root back to something on Facebook.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, according to this thread, 90% of what people say is considered borderline criminal.
adoptimus_prime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone does something mean, verging on bullying, and when you react to it they say "can't you take a joke?"
thetrillestwanksta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. So basically you are a huge bitch
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...and that's why I'm voting for Donald Trump."
patroniton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LET HER SPEAK
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Humans are naturally greedy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Earth has no plan B
Enronn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't own a TV
Shredded_Cunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That bullshit Monroe quote about deserving at her best... You all know the one. Only ever known bithy girls ever use it... That phrase is just a crutch!
SnobBeauty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pro-life
foundbypat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason."
Everything? Fuck you!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"wow, you talk so white!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"hi"
RobotVampire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Individual defending themselves before they say something shitty BUT Spouts off something shitty
Example- I don't have anything against gay people BUT I don't think they should live in the same America as me.
CrackersDoMatter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
Herzreh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"ASAP", and "Please Advise", to name a few.
Minelayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
When ever someone has said "It is what it is." what ever it is, has gone pretty wrong or been really annoying.
edit: spelling
babyfarmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
Yeah, no shit, thanks for bringing nothing to the conversation.
deathbunny69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm stuck in my elo because of my team
hubermania ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even....
X_Spyre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'' I'm 56 years young ''
bootsmouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only saying half a word: legit (instead of legitimate), cray (instead of crazy), and worst of all jelly (instead of jealous) - it's the number of syllables!!!
nklr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello"
I... I don't get out much.
JuanTawnJawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When somebody is constantly shit talking everyone behind their backs. You just know they're doing the same behind yours.
BobbyDavros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Roll on Friday"
Pun_In_Ten_Did ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'For all intensive purposes..."
jplivesjc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it is what it is" instant hate. no clue why either, just bothers me
nickmcmillin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love food" Yeah, so is every other living thing.
turtlegirdle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Overuse of the word "honestly." Was everything you said without that qualifier not honest?
bovfem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they respond "I'm well" when you ask how they are. As if they are grammatical experts and you are incorrect when you say you're fine.
shredadactyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just so random and do random things all the time."
AaronovichtheJoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I almost always regret asking someone "how's it going" because these days many of them respond with: "It goes." Don't know why, always makes me cringe.
Also, people who put Mr./Ms. before a person's FIRST name should be temporarily muzzled.
Lastly, very specific: I was once dragged by a friend to a Cinco de Mayo party exclusively attended by Caucasians. When the host referred to a bowl of microwaved Velveeta as 'queso' I wanted to punch him in the fucking throat.
shut-up-dana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's obvious when you think about it"
Fuck off. If we're having a conversation, I am thinking about it. Clearly I'm thinking different things about it than you are, but your view is not 'obviously' correct because you deigned to give the topic a moment's thought.
(I work with a lot of condescending meat-heads)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im not racist, but..."
Always by an immediate racist comment.
tdasnowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I made the executive decision.
Most people who use this aren't in management, the call they made is nowhere near the executive level. I mean good for you, you moved something along but really?
Warnex9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Legitly"
You know there's a really word for that, right? Your shortening it only makes you sound like an uneducated moron.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone quotes Marilyn Monroe or Coco Chanel.
Marilyn Monroe didn't say those shitty ass quotes and Chanel was a Nazi spy, so, no... I don't take what they say as the gospel.
TheFlyingDavenport ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother, I..." while speaking about something not directly related to raising a child.
Blue_Dog_Democracy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Generally speaking, any of these phrases:
Or any other meme/phrase that's bad enough when you have to hear it dozens of times on the internet, but are even more obnoxious in person.
richal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cool Beans." Ugh. I don't even want to have it close to my name.
LunarJuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin'."
mesmith2700 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless of blah blah blah pretentious voice...
trudesign ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate that muslim Obama, impeach him! Hang him for treason for being a non-citizen!"
Not because I'm pro-obama or democratic...but because stupid people are stupid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"kill yourself" in any context
whazzis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Lord your god.
forwardpasskin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BLACK LIVES MATTER
SackNicholson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Looks like we're on the same schedule!" (Seeing a colleague in the bathroom)
LowlyKnave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"rid the body of toxins"
Ganja23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool Beans
the_fash_pit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chillaxing, I mean seriously.
Lurker13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Edit: I can't believe this is my top comment!!"
You must not get a lot of attention offline and when your shock comment gets noticed, you have to inform the masses as if we are your parents and you're seeking our approval.
slumberjack22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any reference to an item/thing that "drops panties".
Makabajones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"not to sound racist, but. . ."
DivineTypo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"all my friends are guys" -female
MichaelDeucalion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My IQ is ___"
1ncorrect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a prank!
oblivionkiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using "Stay Classy" to end conversations.
ProductOfLabour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peng...stupid London-based millennial fucks
clementyne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses the word "dude".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like, um" or "Bro"
sdreal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, I'm entitled to my opinion!" You are entitled to your opinion but I'm also entitled to my opinion that your evidence is non-existent, your logic is horribly flawed, and you're a complete idiot.
GrahamHosken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me: What time is it Dumbass:Whips out phone when watch on wrist :Sorry My phone is dead
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mother Trucker, I hate everyone who says this. If you don't want to swear then don't but don't half ass my favorite pass time.
LordAshur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about Mother Hugger
Ebenezar_McCoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Trigger"
houraday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My kid is so good at..."
Vaynetek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Squad" fucking cringe.
Rispetto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother.."
Poppin a kid out of your womanly bits didn't make you a fucking prophet.
Adddicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have an irrational hatred for anyone that talks like Pauly Shore.
Or is Pauly Shore.
NinjaFistOfPain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I smoke weed."
I don't really have a problem with it, and I acknowledge that it's that person's choice but something about it irks me.
mashupoteiito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason", when someone is trying to make you feel better. Yeah sure my dog died for a good reason and WHAT FUCKING REASON WAS THAT?
mojohand2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Social Justice Warrior" I can't say I dislike the phrase itself, though, as it gives me an instant read on the speaker. It's a real time saver.
moose_tassels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Brah" in any context. "Later brah!", "What's up brah!" It's the most common phrase that screams Douchnozzle! to me.
TheSlimyDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
technically that is true. If you are best friends with someone you don't hate people based on their race. You may hate the majority of a race because of statistics but that is not racism.
GavinTheAlmighty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"SJW".
Nobody who has ever used that word pejoratively has ever had anything worthwhile to say.
quixoticacid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if this is some strange new coconut water, quinoa phenomenon, but I really dislike when people say "Be Well" as a form of goodbye. To me it's like a namaste/amen/bless you kind of farewell. It also sounds pretentious and weird.
Just say goodbye, or see you later. Unless you just had an AMAZING heart to heart, and the person you're adios-ing is going through some intense shit, you have no excuse to sound so douchy on every farewell.
TLDR: Saying "Be Well" as a goodbye will definitely set me off on the opposite intended course.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At Walgreens for a time the workers were required to say Be Well.
Source: I worked there for 8 years.
quixoticacid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, that just sounds miserable. About how long lived was that requirement?
I've been hearing this while drinking at bars, after grocery store catch up conversations, and the likes.
samtheotter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"CALM DOWN."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awwe fuck I saw like half of these.
kuppajava ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The worst thing is, it was all said to me during the same conversation and I couldn't leave...
tgraefj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Magnited States of America.
Boulavogue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't deserve this or the counter I deserve x, y or z
You deserve nothing, get out and make it happen. Stop feeling entitled
wazli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This!
I see it all over my Facebook and I just can't stand it.
rickb85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll tell you better than that". Always some dickhead looking to outdo your story.
GimpedNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO, Boi, Bae, and any other retarded shit like that. Also announcing punctuation for emphasis PERIOD
prettypurplepenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right Meow
TheBigDoor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What the actual fuck"
why the fuck do you need to put the word actual in there? when its used like that it means nothing!
SnaggyKrab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not rasist, but..."
the_stickybandit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know it's none of my business, but....."
Anyone who's uses "fambam"
And anyone wHo TYpeS LikE tHiS!
anumati ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Truth be told". 99% of the when time someone starts a sentence with that phrase, it is followed by some weapons grade bullshit.
candidknave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"yeah I don't study at all and always go out and get straight As"
then once you're in college and live with one of those kids you realize, no, they do not go out, yes, they do study, and some, not all, get Cs
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In hs I didn't study once and got all Bs and As in honors classes. Then in college those turn to Bs and Cs
DoctorDiabeetuscake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just using the word "true" by itself in a conversation after asking an important question. One friend literally asked me why I was feeling depressed and I spilled my guts to them as to why and all I got back was "True". That word alone will make me hate you so much if you use it like that.
lucy_inthessky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just brutally honest."
No, you're just a bitch and you want to act like a bitch.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"faith in humanity restored". So fucking douchey.
l33tman24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do any of you guys play MINECRAFT?"
I guess I'm a bit biased, as I disliked seeing my favorite game dragged down by whiny kids.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I ask you something?"
"You just did, LOLOLOLOLOL"
You know what... forget it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says 'All mouth and no trousers'. It's either 'fur coat and no knickers' or 'All mouth and trousers' dammit! Pick one!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if someone says "BOOM MIND BLOWN!"
PM_me_ur_TitsAnSmile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SMH
unlimitedammo045 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This is unprofessional."
That phrase means, literally, what ever the fuck the speaker wants it to mean, and you can't argue with them or else you risk looking unprofessional.
Spend 17 overtime hours fixing a computer, finally get it to work with the wires visible, just in time for a big presentation?
"This is unprofessional."
FFFFFFF-!
_DirtyYoungMan_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a diehard..." If you're a diehard anything I'll assume you are easily swayed by the opinions of others and lack the intellect to research facts for yourself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When asking a customer how their day is and they respond with "just another day in paradise! HAHAHAHA!".....ooookay.
emtarace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a racist, BUT... I'm not sexist, BUT...
SoManyShades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"take a chill pill"
is not only a stupid phrase, but it almost always comes at a time when irritation is already high.
check_meowt_meow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm such a nerd or loser."
If you have to say it, you probably are not one.
iancon-artist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Drunk words are sober thoughts"
otteratthebar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't date _____ chicks. I don't date _____ guys.
OK. Sure. I guess a person's personality, sense of humor and intelligence should fall further down the list of requirements in seeking a partner, than some 'physical appearance' preference.
YoureProbablyATwat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sick
Fucking wankers.
MamiyaOtaru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wrong side of history
SL1919 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sentence with the word sheeple in it.
algidplasma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
feel the bern
standbacknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I drive better when I'm drunk seriously."
hatillathenun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We did the blacks a favor by bringing them here...
anaovt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm doing the gluten-free thing". Phrased exactly that way, making it clear they're doing it for the fad diet. As a server I hear this way too often.
TheDeltaLambda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just water vapor, chill out!
quadrophenicWHO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As far as I'm concerned, they could have stopped making music in (insert date here) and it would have been fine by me!"
I used to be a music snob and I hate people that are, now.
the_pretty_princess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It sucks to suck.
Fuck you if you say this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dumb white women who say "ThEEEnk you" instead of "Thank You". Shit is so far from cute, makes me want to vomit. The girl could be a smoke show and I would no longer consider her attractive.
FACPFACE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to say it's when people say, "I want to say..." in answer to a question, i.e. "Who is the biggest d-bag of the GOP candidates?" "I want to say Donald Trump." Well, if you want to say it, say it!
rexthegawd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"not afraid to call a spade a spade"
reserved for bigots and argumentative dickheads
fdtc_skolar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Single mother
It's almost always used in connection of wanting some kind of relief or favor.
Wulf_Haus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"From scratch"
I will eat your liver if you tell me you made your shitty brownies "from scratch"
BlueLikeWater ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is scratch. Isn't it a verb, not a noun
Wulf_Haus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
EXACTLY!
stylinghead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's your sign?"
Godzillin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Obligatory, this blew up!"
Inane_newt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sheeple - used when dismissing people out of hand because they conform with a different set of norms. No one else is thinking things through, that is something only you and the people who agree with you have done.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my god that is SOOO funny!" Then why don't you fucking laugh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's a slap in the face."
It doesn't even matter what the context is, whenever someone says this I start wondering whether their opposition/enemy might not be right to do whatever they are doing.
I can't even adequately explain why it drives me nuts. Maybe I feel like, if something has you upset, you should be able to explain why it is upsetting and wrong convincingly, rather than equate it to physical violence that didn't happen in an effort to get people on your side.
StupidHumanSuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not religious, but I'm very spiritual.
Lonecoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just not good with computers." If you say that to me as a coworker, you are automatically put on the bottom of the list to get help.
TheTABLES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My new roommate says "Happy faces" and "Sad faces" with a bit of a lisp in response to awesome or shitty things, respectively. I hate him for other reasons too, but that shit drives me crazy.
AaronovichtheJoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This country should be run like a business."
Novel idea: it should be run like a country.
ap1219 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense but..."
DozentCommitted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No Homo."
The_redwoman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My faith in humanity has been restored"
luigifan103 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something like "Kudos to you, good sir"
Not dislike strongly but like...It's not the 1920s, dude, take off your top hat
TheVillain117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any time someone misuses the word literally. I write you off and tune out.
ApathyZombie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While discussing prices on something I'm selling, the customer smiles in a manner meant to establish rapport, and says, "Well, maybe I can Jew you down...."
ajrmusicman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't say that! You'll jinx it!" followed by that person saying the adverse of whatever you said as to "get rid of the jinx."
News flash genius, a sports team doesn't just win a game because someone said they wouldn't.
InfectedP0tato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT ARE THOOOOOSE!
Confession: I say this all the time but still get pissed when others say it.
Fatbitchburger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And we do this like so..."
Tigerballs07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, right?" - It's what stupid people say when they want to say something but don't know what to say.
zeanphi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, blahblah...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not an utter twat, I'm just being honest."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you have to explicitly state what kind of person you are, you're probably full of shit and just attempting to project an image of the person you'd like to be.
breccalynn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless.
mrthenarwhal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any Garfield catchphrases.
Not_A_Unique_Name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Its tradition".
Spodur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they actually say lol
prefixlen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Barack Hussein Obama"
Frigd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Haters".
That's all. If you think you have "haters", then you don't realize that there's something about you that grinds some people's gears.
pettcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, my bad."
No shit it's "your bad."
standbacknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my upper 20's and I hate it when people say stuff like "you know you're an adult when..." and they finish with some lame shit like "you get excited about buying a couch on a Saturday." No that doesn't mean you are an adult. That means you are boring.
iamnotaliciakeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah but what about black on black crime?"
jlenney1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"BRO" but only usually if they're from California or Arizona The rest of the US and world gets a pass on that one bc it's a different "culture" of douchebags and lifted trucks here
edenholly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All my friends are guys, I just tend to get along with them better. Girls are so much drama!" (said by a girl)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Barely having met someone -- "So, what church do you belong to?" "The one where nuns grouped around me get hit by a bolt of lighting." -- sometimes I say "dont worry, it was gods will"; ends the conversation pretty quickly.
Adamskinater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Rise and grind" or any "hustle work play" variation thereof.
It's basically the rallying cry of unemployed facebook users trying to start their own shitty business so they don't have to work
Supernyan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who talk about all teenagers like they're some new, awful trend. We were all teenagers at one point, and we all did the same stupid shit. I'm afraid of losing touch with this fact because that would mean I'm a boring fart.
jclin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when people describe themselves as being brutally honest as a good thing. No, it means your classless and rude.
theisal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but..
Cecil_Indoors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but.....
Never ends well.
davegrohljr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's life." No, it isn't. That is just what you've accepted as life because you weren't smart or creative enough to improve your own.
Not_A_Unique_Name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo and Swag.
nothingbutmistakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...and everything is alright with the world!"
J-roddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using lap up in any situation not referencing a dog drinking water
nothingbutmistakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...and a good time was had by all."
alecv26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ciao" (actual Italians excepted)
ILikeLeadPaint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Honestly"
gafgalron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in a red state. any truther bull shit. something bad has happened somewhere, people are talking about it, how sad/tragic it is. "well if Obama had not done X crazy thing that never happened, non related issue C would have never happened. you know hes a muslim right?" at least once a month I have to deal with the shit from a stranger.
Savonlinna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Could/should of".
Ol-three-times-crane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hard work never killed anybody.
Who started this? This isn't even close to the truth.
ApathyZombie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hard work never killed anybody."
"Maybe not, but I'm not taking the chance."
KThxBaiNao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're cute for a(n) insert ethnicity here"
drgonzo80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Tell us how you REALLY feel!" I just did, Shit for Brains.
__JPC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You wouldn't understand..."
You may be right... So far all I've understood is you are a condescending jabronie. Try explaining the concept better?
TheCleverFool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's my mouth I can say what I want to"
Just close your mouth and never speak again
reportforafkpls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bruh
McBollocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'i'm not gonna lie (about it)'
SeaMenOnTheRocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
_ for the win! Ex: Mcdonalds 4 the win! Something about that phrase just annoys the shit out of me
glasser999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Awwwkwaaard"
tamabar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone saying or typing "brah".
edenholly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just an honest person/tell it like it is, and some people can't deal with that"
TheSmashPosterGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using "literally" incorrectly.
inquisitivepanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you say that you hate something and someone says "hate is such a strong word".
bobo007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My BMW"
fiveplusonestring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are we having fun yet?!?!?!?
YappasOnDeck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less." Or "same difference" The second one just drives me up the wall.
donnerthereindeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Say literally and I literally hate you.
ChinookNL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Because I can"
I can punch you in the face right now!
vj4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it's good to see you!"
cheetosnfritos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a nonner
NDaveT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason."
__JPC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any time I am having a debate with someone (heated or friendly) and they tell me to "just relax" or "chill out" it has literally the opposite effect in that I tend to accidentally KILL THEM WITH MY BARE HANDS ANSFOQWENGLSEGNGS RAGE
OverHaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist but"
The Taxi driver special
RMF_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Play some Sublime!
FREE-MUSTACHE-RIDES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know what I'm sayin"
CreamyCheeseBalls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"I don't like cheese" You're in Wisconsin, learn to love our food
beanherber26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm gluten free." If you start with "I have celiac disease" instead I will actually listen to you.
ApathyZombie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I sell something I wrote and someone says, "I wish I had that kind of time!"
Yeah, knucklebutt, all it takes to get professionally published is having a lot of spare time to kill.
lodolfo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thatHappened
Bitch I'll downvote you and tag you as an asshole so that I can downvote you every time I see you.
eureka00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know why they don't like me"
Well I don't want to find out.
Beat9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any variation of 'people make mistakes.'
The mistake in question is almost always an act of greed or selfishness or something morally reprehensible, yet people say 'it was just one mistake' as if cheating on your partner or stealing from your family is the same as forgetting to get somebody's burger without pickles.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
Swag
Brendenx3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who confuse literally and figuratively. Basically any phrase that starts with "I literally..." Or someone who uses "like" as every other word in a sentence.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like IPAs. I like really hoppy Pale Ales.
guerillamiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but
dbtheguitarman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
Which is basically just another way to say "I am done caring about the thing and am too lazy to make the thing better".
Or the TL;DR version of that (which I prefer): "Fuck it"
GC789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back in high school...
Alaskance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Man I haven't been there in a hot minute"
Rocketterollo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sounds like a YOU problem"
spannybear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I could care less' when speaking about an issue they don't care about
you COULDN'T care less you mean
betaplay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just kidding, go fuck yourself"
Gargantahuge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Reddit just banned me for doxxing the dentist guy. I doxed so many times before they caught on" -real guy at a party Friday
CORNDOGCOMMANDO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
single mothers who say i can't show him how to be a man, yet they refuse find a boyfriend to mentor their sons or even a mentor in the community.
just be the man i want you to be with zero guidance and input from anyone.
Tinderblox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like, basically..." (Especially if they're uptalking).
swiftshot01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I will stomp your porch toad"
Spinolio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can't you take a joke?"
At least it lets you instantly identify a bully.
aZombieSlayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "FML"
I can't help but physically cringe and wish they'd implode.
themillennial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist/homophobic/sexist but...
Njsamora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in a rural community and for some reason the phrases "Up and at 'em" and "hook 'em" infuriate me. Just tell me to hurry for fucks sake.
bscepter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i'm not racist, but..."
donquixote1001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No problem" when they owe me an apology.
_Solaire_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of the Marketing Planners at work say "net net". They use it like 'long story short' or 'the takeaway'. So, they'll be going over their stupid creative brief then say, "so, net net..." Before telling me what I need to do. Drives me crazy.
richterbg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"like duh"
immediate gag reflex...
49j ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest ...
206l0v3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man that's hecka _________! If you say hecka instead of hella it will always piss me off lol I'm sure hella sounds stupid too some people too but it's been a part of west coast lingo for a while.
turbofrost17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it is what it is"
The equivalent of giving up/not accepting change
Nighthawk321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so lazy.
illogic_bomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What you need to understand is. .
Usually in the context of you don't agree with them, so obviously you don't understand. Grr.
hugenethe3rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you will...."
'The man was English, 'from across the pond,' if you will'
I hate that shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On dating profiles, regardless of whatever else appeals to me about that profile, I will ignore anyone who says they are "looking for a partner in crime".
Either you are literally looking for someone to commit crimes with (in which case no thanks but good luck to you), or you are in fact looking for some fucking originality.
CLEAR26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well you're not incorrect..."
ErrorRon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not my problem"
fettsack2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always say what I think.
striker1122 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fair enough."
__-inserttexthere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO!
Fucking shits
Croswynd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I've never seen/heard/played it, but..."
WalterPlinge_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My music taste is so eclectic."
holy_drop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not that type of girl.
TheOneElectronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love to laugh!" SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE, IT'S LAUGHING.
tonypedia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't believe you're going to eat that in front of me"
100percentkneegrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
OK I get it, mix tapes are high temperature. The shame is that I liked it for about a day. Unfortunately , it spread like fire.
elsani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why wasn't YOLO mentioned?
Sansnom01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me it change time to time. When I was child and people were asking questions about me to my parents .
I was just thinking : Fuck them I was just in front of them why the hell are they not asking me .
When I was 16~18 years old people used to say: ยซ Spend your time well, this is going to be the happiest moment in your life. ยป
Then I was thinking. Fuck that, how this can make any sense ?!
Right now I hate when people use the word "weird" to define someone. I think its a big lack of vocabulary.
jasonbaldwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"... And myself."
Basic grammar out the window.
Hart75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
any sentence containing the word 'eclectic'.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less" grrr
acapuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thebomb.com
lead12destroy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So" at the beginning of a sentence as a response to a question.
dullhardnips89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only God can judge me." In my experience the people that say and have this tattooed on their bodies are the people that should be judged by society the most.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, it's often the people awaiting judgment by the court system who say this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they use the word 'awesome' in a way that doesn't make sense.
For example: "This takes like awesome."
Gromby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bro"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The eye can't see above 24 fps.
Hongjohns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Excuse You"
Don't be a fucking passive aggressive bitch. If you say this, I assume you're a total bitch. I'd rather hear someone say, "I have a problem with your...." rather than give a bitchy snarky tone. Giving a direct answer will both help solve my and your problem without any passive bullshit.
mikeywin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone uses "Irregardless," it takes every ounce of willpower for me to not roll my eyes and scoff.
longtermbrit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You should of done this."
jhubsty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so weird!"
Said after doing something barely unconventional always makes me want to punch someone
corrikopat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Trust Me." Nope - I don't think I will.
rsmatt00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who speak in #"insert-word-or-phrase-here"...
And get off my goddamn yard!
El_Morro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For all intensive purposes" "Awesomesauce" "FAIL!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As cheesy as it is, I say awesomesauce.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh Em Gee"
or
"Ell Oh Ell"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get why people say texting acronyms out loud.
redlightning2112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm bad at taking tests."
"If you can't handle me at my best, you don't deserve me at my worst."
jfoust2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
No, no. It could be what it could be.
qryCosmos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a parent, but [insert asinine parenting advice here].
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Amaze-balls" - do I really need to explain?
adambuck66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have Down Syndrome."
Sometimes said after a person makes a stupid mistake. There were underclassmen who did this when I was in high school. I still think less of them 14 years later. My brother has Down Syndrome.
Golla_Rilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I tell it like it is!"
TheRealMisterFix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I personally think..."
No you fucking DON'T. You don't fucking know. You're making shit up.
Jaymakk13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know more about my childs medical condition then the Doctor/Condition specialist."
rcl1221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm busy."
throwmes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep Calm and _______ on."
This single phrase has become so bastardized and used by any company that anyone with it/saying it makes me instantly dislike them or the company it is associated with. Lately I have taught myself to stop reading past "Keep Calm" so I don't ruin any more things for myself.
TheFlyinTurkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi I'm (insert name) and I'm a (insert astrology sign)."
tondef001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who weigh 180 lbs complaining about how out of shape they are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a woman calls someone "honey" or "sweetie" in a patronizing tone. Pretty annoying.
That and when someone younger than someone else calls them "kid". Or just addressing a group of people as "children".
OscarDCouch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but...
J2Mags ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate black people" Anything of that sort.
yourbrotherrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"KnowwhaImsayin?" repeated over and over again in someone's normal, everyday, speech pattern.
watchthisradio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"AmIright?"
Sikktwizted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh look another cringeworthy thread about people making assumptions and being assholes about things. No thanks.
theDUDE_90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What are thoooooose!!" .........I'm really over that.
Ovenproofcorgi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Name a [whatever] that doesn't have the letter [x] in it. Bet you can't!"
"Keep calm and [whatever] on."
WHOzachDAT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
99% of the time epic is used to describe something. "Epic fail bro" No I just dropped a fucking remote.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe you just stabbed me. It annoys the hell out of me.
brautry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sunday Funday"
doctordaedalus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a girl says "I know I'm (insert negative personality trait here), and I'm ok with that."
DerpPanther ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it bad that I...
I_really_like_cake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anyone who refers to someone of indian, tamil, or similar descent as "brown guys." I'm not from there, I just find it demeaning
overlycasual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using the word "bae" in a sentence.
I work with High School students and they say it a lot, but when a parent or some one not in High School says it I want to punch them in the face.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: don't say anything, ever
Nighthawk321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm literally dying!"
Spit_Flames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"goals af"
jfasi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On dating websites, anytime someone answers the "what can't you live without"-type question with "sarcasm"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people in the US get all fancy with their food pronunciations. Nice parmesean cheese ya twat
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The n-word. I hate that word, and no one should ever use it.
Xeusi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Paygap is real.
letice721 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When anyone jumps on the bandwagon of the "new and hip, cool" thing to say.
Like the latest one:
"deez nuts.... HA! Got eem"
Its not the saying that bothers me. Its the fact that a bunch of people hop on a bandwagon in an attempt to seem cool or something. It annoying and pathetic. I instantly think the person is super self conscious and that's his/her only way to fit in.
reader313 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything found on /r/iamverysmart
hateboss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Amazeballs"
You sound like a fucking pre-teen, just don't.
dcikid12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
saying 'lol' as part of a conversation
Bunktavious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me talk to your Manager! (I'm the Manager)
explanation: while a person certainly has the right to talk to me if they received poor service, 95% of the time it's because they asked for something they are not entitled to, and got mad when they were told no.
jorellano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase involving "irregardless"
PotatoSilencer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'm not a racist but....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ASAP. It's like 24/7 or Been There Done That.
threatdisplay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love x to death..." and then proceed to talk behind their back. Ugh.
CornyHoosier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people knowingly mispronounce "foreign" words.
Examples:
Jalapenoes -- "Ja-la-pa-noes"
C'est la vie -- "Kuh-est - lah -vah"
Buffet -- "Buff-it"
... and so on and so forth ...
Delawhere15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Is that a thing now"? Argh...unplug from Buzzfeed people.
OHiowan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" They are so chill!" or the worst, "Chillaxin."
Space__Pirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"WELL, AS A..."
shush.
vegaswench ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Living the dream. Shut up.
ARC1019 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"long story short" when it is followed by a long ass story
Sector_Corrupt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Class Warfare - Is probably some brand of nut, with the brand tending to be based on who they think is being oppressed. But usually I find it's whiny rich people complaining about taxes.
libtard etc - Person saying this is not worth speaking to.
Songbirdsinging88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These aren't phrases but I can't stand when people say, "bae" or "ily" (meaning I love you). It makes me cringe.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And I was like, oh my god..."
HellfireAgnostic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't hate the player, hate the game."
Luder714 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
irregardless
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man I'm tired...."No you're not you're chehnly" shut the fuck up before I rip out your teeth.
DonKeighbals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"you don't have ANY craft beers on tap?!?"
hexagonsunn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On fleek" and "trill" some things you can't unhear.
KennyMcderp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sesh"
fearkarifaith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!"
Just... no.
professordoom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is only acceptable at a craps table.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or at a really good chicken restaurant?
Keica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mad bro?
GiantManGiantsFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't hate people for doing it because most people are wrong. But pronouncing the "T" in 'often' annoys the shit out of me
gtx765 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I woman said to me: "No matter who i am with, I am always looking for better."
bangarang710 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know I'm gonna get doe voted for this" stfu and just say what you have to say
Foamie62 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I seen..." anything.
SwissFamilyRonbinson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I seen"
SenorVajay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You gotta love (insert fucking anything)!"
Not I don't.
phillychee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Another day, another dollar!
Or
Livin' the dream.
YakiVegas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..." yeah you are and I don't want to hear your joke.
Geminii27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything written in a motivational poster.
The use of "like" as a filler component of speech more than once per minute. Over sixty times a minute makes the speaker sound in need of speech therapy. There should be an app which counts the number of times people nearby say "like".
The word "just" when applied to anything the speaker wants me to do, implying that because they think (wrongly) that it won't require excessive time and resources, I should do it for them.
quickflint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This"
ArtsyChap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're ______ for a girl"
i_am_harry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Butthurt"
EvilNiko89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"k" Annoys me as hell
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, that's just how YOU feel".
It basically tells the other person that they don't matter at all. There's nothing wrong with listening to another person's thoughts and feelings on something.
Beareggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men who use "Girrrrrrrrllllllllllll......... " all the time in their sentences. I don't have a problem with anyones sexuality, it's just really annoying and we aren't all girls.
Also double negatives " I don't want no (insert whatever here)."
Heybuddywazup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
weegbeeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie
I_try_compute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I just don't think gay people should be able to get married"
Well then you're wrong. Plain and simple as that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sheg" British slang of the worst kind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah mate, sheg means something completely different.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah mate, sheg means something completely different.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from Michigan. I don't know what that means and at this point I'm afraid to ask.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just means mate. For example "you right sheg?" = are you ok my dear fellow
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, thanks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My IQ is ..... I took a test online"
Metalpuma2007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Is that gluten free!? I can't eat unless we go someplace where they serve gluten free food."
Or
"I have OCD so bad!"
cri_everytime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my god, I'm so OCD."
GreatGrandAw3somey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Epic fail!"
vikramp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm such a nerd
Scoopalupe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference." CAN YOU SOUND MORE UNEDUCATED?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
indeed
AdamtheClown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone mentions they're a redditor. I instantly hate them, because I hate all of you fucks.
I love you all.
macromort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't _-shame me" (translation: I should be exempt from the consequences of my irresponsible behavior)
"Check your privilege" (translation: only I get to be racist)
"Studies show" (translation: studies don't show, but I still want to argue about it)
"That's just a stereotype" (translation: you're right but I don't want to admit it)
Glockyyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"RAPE" Really puts a downer on a perfectly good struggle snuggle
NOT_MY_VIRGIN_EARS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Describing something as "problematic"
chiiza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pencil you in!" - used in a non work related conversation
joetheschmoe4000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Problematic"
peteymack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know. Right?"
RChamy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm lonely because ppl don't see the nice girl I am. I wish they could just die."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, sexist, homophobic, religions, BUT...
khcloud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All's well that ends well."
Fuck off you utilitarian bastard!
Edomtsaeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cool beans."
You're now dead to me.
MindlessVegetation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a [insert Group], I think that [insert Horseshit]..."
letmereaddamnit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I was at the atm machine"
Really? The atm machine? So you went to the automated teller machine machine? Ya daft cunt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist/sexist/sizist but..." NO. JUST. NO.
Whatever you are about to say, don't.
callmebigley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Once met a lady who casually used the phrase "Jew-nited states of america" casually while bitching about politics. It didn't even make sense in context
Chris_Pratts_v_neck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Referring to things as, this bitch. "Where do you want me to put this bitch?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't stand the use of "bae"
entropic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Enough said" and "that's retarded"
desolateddreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"we aren't vaccinating our child. The risk outways the benefits."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Trump 2016
timothygruich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
raises spork
CompSci_Guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I live in Williamsburg."
(The New York one)
PeeterNorth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hillary for President
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like whoa"
"Omg totes" any time people speak like an abbreviated text message I instantly lose any desire to get to know them anything more about them.
and if you say "Hashtag what ever the fuck " I'm imagining breaking your god damn fingers.
bdubayew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Noooice!
gogojojo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
conversate
ChewyIsThatU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you think __________, you are an idiot.
NeonMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Neon hair. It screams "lookatmepaymeattention!".
*chechs user name*
Yes, I know.
MadScienceIntern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
Not like, when someone is getting shit on and just using the phrase go shrug it off, but when someone is being a shithead, gets called out, and responds with this.
AndrewBeckner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When discussing the religion of Christianity and someone says "it's not a religion it's a relationship"
DancingPaul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Supposebly
wearwolfnotswearwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You will change your mind"
when they hear I won't have children of my own.
"Oh, if you say so, I will ignore everything I know about myself and trust you on that."
Thompson_S_Sweetback ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Game changer.
Farodsbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less." No, that doesn't mean what you think it means.
skrln ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
live love laugh.
And if you really want to infuriate me, make it: live.love.laugh
toyodajeff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree this is the stupidest thing ever, it's like breathe. Eat. Poop.
bottomlesscoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Expresso"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I'm so weird! It's just how I am!
Then they proceed to quote something from doctor who or naruto or whatever .
couturenallure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not like other girls."
NavaHo07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anytime anyone says "acks" instead of "ask". Also when people say "Calvary" instead of "Cavalry". The former was where Jesus was Crucified outside Jerusalem, the latter is horse-riding soldiers.
1BigUniverse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when a girl says shit like "Obvi" hes not into you or I "totes" would do that. Is it really that hard to finish the god damn word?
rl8813 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Real America"
BadDogNoFood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but I really dislike the phrase "I'll pray for you."
Not really in the context that I'm not religious, but if something bad is happening in my life and someone says that to be more or less supportive.
eternalflowers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist/homophobic/etc., but..." Like seriously? I'm not violent, but I'll straight up punch you for saying something like this.
reddittatwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I researched this on the internet"..
lemonade_and_buns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but...
stop
snakeoil-huckster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.
Fuck off lady. Quit making excuses for being a bitch
VaginalBurp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Preggers"
StewBeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Person says some kind of asshole comment to be followed by "just saying"
whydowecare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Rude"
CHEF_BOYARDEEZ_NUTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"To each, their own."
Supernintendolover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this bad? Everyone has their own preference, not everyone will like the same thing.
CHEF_BOYARDEEZ_NUTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had this friend that said it all the time whenever someone would prove him wrong. It gets on my nerves when other people use it too, now.
Supernintendolover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I see, In that case, I can see why it would be annoying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's misspelled.
CHEF_BOYARDEEZ_NUTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
pgerhard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I say something and someone answer, "well, good for you" ....
TerryTerrorist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae.
XFinisher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Watch me nay nay"
-This world is so fucked.. enough said! LOL
toyodajeff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mean mugging, an expression people use if somebody looks at them in the wrong way.
Boisenberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only in (insert any city or place here)!" THINGS HAPPEN EVERYWHERE DAMMIT
Cpt_Tripps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trigger Warning!
Can't we just label shit? If you don't want to emotionally harm a rape victim or a veteran just put an actual warning on your shit.
tastosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omg I'm so old!!!!!
toyodajeff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying ridiculous for things that are pretty much trivial.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
Yeah, fuck off cunt.
conorboyland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can read people really well" - "I can't stand drama"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Kids crave discipline." as an excuse to beat their kids.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: bitter teens
JobDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cuck
It means they're a 4chan nerd
TrandaBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"[verb or adjective] much?"
Seriously, fuck you and your passive-aggressive, basic attitude. I don't know why but it just makes me violently angry. It particularly ties me in a knot if another minority uses this phrase. Again, I don't know why.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not like other people."
ALXVEL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate dogs" well fuck you too then.
nmc9279 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boo ya. UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHH Instant hate
Send_me_them_tities ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just saying..." "As discussed"
ebrammer252 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You need to watch Fox News for the real information" "Well it's all Obama's fault"
loumi02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm entitled to my opinion." You certainly are, but that doesn't make your opinion correct nor does it free you from the consequences of voicing it. Smdh.
Stoutyeoman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm gluten free." No, you are a person who does not eat gluten. Whether you have a legitimate illness or not, food is gluten free, not you.
popcar2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"that's like, your opinion man" Yes, yes it fucking is, you got a problem?
Ddybear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It says on Wikipedia that"...
Spankwell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Noice!"
I just hate the word... reminds me of 13 year old stinky boys haha.
theultimatenick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin!" What the hell does that even mean? I feel like people think it's some kind of idiotic place holder for "what I just said isn't going to be well received"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a New England Patriots fan."
Right, so you're going onto the asshole list...
poncheetos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What are thooose?!"
They're hideous shoes fucker, now STFU.
rye44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's so ironic" when something is coincidental. I hate those fuckers.
youngvandal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says "bro" or "dog" for any reason. I'm not your bro and I'm not your dog.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As an ____..."
You don't speak for all ______s, you speak for yourself.
sashslingingslasher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"....obviously..." About things that are specific to them. Ex.
"well, obviously, I like to go out and drink all weekend."
landwomble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but...'
deadbrainwaves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't
Zarana85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bae" as in "Bae caught me slippin!" Ain't Baby talk
TBoguS301 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just wait until you have kids."
Diskmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist I hate everyone equally"
Sam_urai_Sam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Blood is thicker than water"
Nope, bye.
Kpatel600 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You look sad" ~ fuck you it's just my resting face just like yours makes you look like a bitch.
mrkingnothing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Smile!" I don't fucking want to smile bitch.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, Right?"
eldeeder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Why don't you...?" When asking a favor. It drives me batshit. If you are going to ask me a favor, fucking ASK. Don't ask why I am not already doing you a favor.
paulalalala93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have insomnia" when they, in fact, just go to bed at 3am and sleep until 11 like every other college student on the planet.
Frigguggi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"'Sup" just pisses me off for some reason. It's just so aggressively lazy.
ylurt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate animals/plants" to me that just yells you have no compassion for anything.
samii1031 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sick tats, bro"
Make me loose my cool every time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not so much a phrase as the abuse and overuse of one work....like.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason.
DoubleDogDamnit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes we can
UndercoverSomeone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll believe it when I see it." Fucking materialists...
NaomiNekomimi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm allergic to gluten." When they aren't.
Look, you can eat whatever you want and not eat whatever you want. If you think you feel better without eating wheat that's fine with me. But there are people out there with legitimate allergies to something you just want to opt out of. Since everyone says "I'm allergic to gluten" now, you don't know when someone is actually allergic to it and when they are just being trendy.
mrkingnothing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My oldest kid has a couple dozen food allergies and people like that make me want to slap the shit out of them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 10-year-old's best friend has life-threatening allergies to nuts, egg, and gluten. You can tell because he brings a COOLER with him everywhere he goes because he can only eat about 8 things and it's really better for his mother to prepare everything for him. He also carries a BAG full of Epi-pens and medical information on what to do if he goes into anaphylaxis.
So when someone says "Eh, I don't feel like bagels today because I'm kind of allergic to gluten", I also want to slap them.
NaomiNekomimi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
I have obsessive compulsive disorder (The real, panic attacks and debilitating anxiety kind, officially diagnosed) and while I'm quite high functioning (none of my ticks are as extreme as I've heard they can get, like going into a restaurant to fold all of the napkins a certain way every morning and stuff) it's still a very hard strain on my life on a day-to-day basis, and that's exactly how I feel when people say "Omg I'm so OCD". People should probably try to refrain from using actively used medical diagnosis as figures of speech.
achmedclaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae...
bripatrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For all intensive purposes..."
Intensive.
lecherous_hump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
le
samsuh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
momonsterr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll sleep when I'm dead"
Like, SERIOUSLY?!?? We all know that you sleep, because if you didn't - you would be dead. Also, sleep is fantastic - don't be a jack ass.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know, right? Sleep is my reward for putting up with dumb people's bullshit all day.
momonsterr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Preach.
Alicenator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"bae" I immediately lose respect for the person.
Stompkaars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm very spiritual...
FitnessNurse2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is. Instead of owning up to their mistake/action.
Hoobam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"See what I did there?"
anxietysufferingfool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know what you should do?" or. "if I were you I would...."
ugh it's hard because I know it stems from just caring for me but it comes off so condescending.
PhailQuail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like the Detroit redwings.
Makes me want to slap them immediately.
ClaraCrisp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You need to..."
n1tw1t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haters going to hate.
Typically used in place of an actual argument.
ravenkain251 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You just don't smell right, its a pheremone thing"
Choreboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's legit science behind this, but they're probably not up to speed with that or using it in the right context.
ravenkain251 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I personally think its just an excuse...they can't think of a reason why they shouldn't but don't want to so suddenly i don't have the perfect stink....which it turns out drug dealers have in spades
Woah....sorry, guess I'm still a little bitter
Choreboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No I agree, it's definitely an excuse. I'm just saying it's a real thing, but they're obviously lying about it and probably don't know much about it and how/why it exists.
ctn91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"From the get go."
I had a alcoholic chain smoking coworker that used that phrase way too much. I can't stand it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's better than "From the gecko", which I have also heard.
JobDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who will build the roads?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Drama follows me xD". That's a red flag if I've ever seen one.
mitus-2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down
Choreboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chillax, brosef.
Childpickler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hashtag yolo Seriously people for fuck sakes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Things my sister says.. :(
dicks4dinner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Epic
or using internet speak in real life
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in retail, when I show someone something they're looking for and its near them they say "if that was a snake it woulda bitten me!"
Please stop
potatoboat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't care what other people think of me". However I'll complain and act out anytime someone disagrees with me or criticizes me. I do this to prove I don't care what those people said so you know I don't care and it has nothing to do with my own insecurity and I need you to validate that I definetley shouldn't care what they think about me even though I really don't care anyways.
khool1499 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love minions so much"
donnydonky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry not sorry
Choreboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Triggered/triggering
J_is_for_Jenius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Me thinks." Ugh.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
any sentence with the word "epic"
ThisOnesForMyStalker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not like other girls"
Yes, yes you are. Sorry, but you're not a unique snowflake that stands out because you want everyone to think that all other girls are shitty compared to you.
mrkingnothing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a computer shop a couple of years ago, 1/2 of the people that walked in there had to tell me that they were "computer illiterate". No you're just fucking stupid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe, had areas of expertise that were not computers?
29100610478021 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My bae"
Old_Grau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you hank my lane, noob?
mrRafi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thanks anyway!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't see color." --someone not colorblind
obscurityknocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My ADD"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How are you?" (walks away before I can answer)
ahighkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's Gucci"
"I'm Gucci"
Just say the word good you sound like a DBag
tykulton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At least it's not Cleveland [fan of some other team on /r/nba or /r/nfl]"
whiteteddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'yeah look' ... at he start of any answer to a question. "how are you?' 'Yeah, look I'm fine'
bubbsou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am a hardcore Democrat", or "I am a hardcore Republican"
PeeMud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason."
Gang_No_Style ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't like you", gets me every time..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the Army
That's a 50 meter target | No other profession pays you to workout | fucking POG | You're soup Sandwich | ALCON |
ZannX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please advise.
oh_look_a_fist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a phrase, but when someone feels the need to emphasize their statements by using one hand as a fist and hitting it into the other hand, open-palmed, after every. Fucking. Word. It makes them look like an overly dramatic idiot.
sscall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't ask permission, beg for forgiveness" Fuck that just screams negligence and then acting sorry once its over.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That phrase screams immaturity. It's for people who haven't seen what consequences really look like. Throw a couple weeks working on an orthopedic trauma unit, a few divorces, two homeless guys, some drug addiction, long-term unemployment, extensive property damage, and a teenager who wonders why dad never calls on her birthday on top of that.
siouxperfly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase which includes the word, 'Irregardless'. It's a double negative enclosed into a single word, used to express the opposite of it's literal meaning. Just say 'Regardless'.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not a phrase, but something one of my new coworkers said to me on their second week on the job.
~Storytime!~
I live with my family in an apartment complex with various shops located on the first floor below my unit, and one of them is a restaurant I work at.
One of the new BOH workers that just started a few weeks ago quickly learned that I live upstairs, and suddenly he's ALL OVER ME every time I go into the kitchen. He doesn't know anything else about me and I don't even know the guy's name, yet all of a sudden he's trying to be all friendly and nice, (and failing miserably too, I might add...) I do my best to just ignore him.
So this goes on for almost two weeks, and he just refuses to give up. So I stop what I'm doing and ask him directly, "Okay, seriously... why are you suddenly so interested in me? I don't anything about you and you don't know anything about me."
His response? "Because of the condos, man! You got access to some fancy shit upstairs and I want in on some of that!"
I could not believe he just told me that. He brainlessly told me that he liked me only because of what I had.
So I bluntly told him, "Okay, listen, we are NOT friends. And no, I will NOT risk getting my family and I evicted for letting a stranger into a private residency and put everyone's safety at risk for letting said stranger wander around willy-nilly."
TL;DR: People who only like me for what I have and not for who I am as a person. FUCK THOSE PEOPLE.
ThorsHammer82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cool Beans" or "Okie Dokie"
Bamiji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Some kinda friend you are. You haven't hit me up in forever" even though it goes both ways...
joshshua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What is a phrase that makes you instantly dislike someone strongly?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
Not, it is a cop out for a real explanation.
learningme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Guess what? No, really guess what?"
The_Benefactor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry not sorry
Kid__curry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You only live once
rtnptr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you really love me then you would [insert demand].
Murdermycereal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool beans.
orange_squirrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This food is delish!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bro"
YungPastrii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"sorry not sorry" Then why the Fuck are you apologizing?
Gingerdressing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, that's just him being an asshole."
I can't stand it when people are just being dicks, but they have that "affectionate" title of Asshole, so they get to say and do whatever they want with little to no consequence.
isla42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when guys say at parties "this is SUCH a sausage fest"
RohanTheBarbarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want to be _________. But.
rodrickd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
TomBonner1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Love me or hate me."
Well, if you insist!
littlemisschristina2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am a Christian and would never do that!"
stashew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agree to disagree.
jpowerdup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I read all of these in my head with a valley girl accent
raithevagabond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im not racist but....
technokami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's not how we did it in school"
alittlemouse- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This weather is bipolar, I swear."
The weather does not have mood swings or suicidal thoughts, it does not lash out at its family and friends and then internalise the anger. It is weather. It changes. That's it. Fuck.
johnnybones23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No worries"
Nevets323 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I refuse to vaccinate my childern"
j3nnyt4li4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No homo"
thedoze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"After I graduated from an all boys school, I became a vegan and a feminist"
timisher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm from Texas"
anna_b_nana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is!"
WTF else would "it" be?
lushanthem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. It gives no information, and so many of the people saying it seem to feel they've said something profound. I don't always dislike people who say it, but it's a red flag that we probably won't get along well.
anna_b_nana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually don't necessarily instantly dislike the person who says it, either, but right then, in that moment, yeah I want to strangle them. Truisms are just fillers and therefore a waste of everyones time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When you have some time, I'd like to discuss an amazing opportunity with you" - especially coming from friends and relatives trying to sell you on Advocare/Herbalife/Roldan and fields... Etc.
SgtBrowncoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any time someone says "Give it (insert some amount over 100)%"
No, fucker, you can't even math.
kingzargon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" Fox News, is the only real News"
jordanleite25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have a lot of guy friends"
Buttscopecopilot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you hurt her, I'll kill you." Fucking hate that line that every girl's girlfriend wants to use. Don't you want me to be good to her because I love her and not because you're threatening me?
Meningeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This picture pretty much sums up my life/our relationship"
Then you must have a pretty terrible life/relationship because this is a dumb ass picture.
Sutherby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but.......
Just fuck off I know fine well you're gonna say racist shit
agentamb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I deserve this". No one deserves anything. You work hard and earn it.
chooc444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"im kind of a bitch until you get to know me"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oooooh, good one!
stonebit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This."- That's really the best you could come up with? Just push the arrow button and leave it at that.
fbloise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase I hate the most: "do the needful"
I prefer cleaning prison toilets with my bare hands than hearing that fucking phrase.
dawginson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason."
Nope.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hot second.
butt_crumpler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Blah blah blah gluten blah blah"
somekindofguy0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry, not sorry."
MylesH55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody that defends David Cage, Indigo Prophecy, Heavy Rain, or Beyond Two Souls.
Ace_Ginger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people write "kk" it annoys the hell out of me, especially when it's in a situation where ok works fine. It makes it sound like the person saying it doesn't care that much about the response or is too impatient to listen. When someone asks me a legitimate question and I give them a fair response, don't blow me off with a kk dammit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I respond "kk" in lync at work all the time, after reading this, it does seem unprofessional, and lazy. I will stop now, okay?
CarmakazieCthulhu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cool story, tell it again". Alright asshole, I'll just stop talking to you then
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"hey dude it's just my opinion"
Just because it's your opinion doens't mean it's not idiotic and wrong
InquisitiveDiamond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Live a little"
Heard it from "friends" growing up all the time who did it just to aggravate me. Just typing that phrase is enough to make me snap now.
diplion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No. Just, no."
InfiniteZr0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't get me wrong"
I always take you wrong
gowebfoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Living the dream."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For all intents and purposes."
And not just because people often fuck it up by saying/writing, "For all intensive purposes" or some shit like that. It's just a dumb phrase.
PonderAsunder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I assumed that...."
rosymindedfuzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just saying"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When some douchenozzle says shawty
HarryStraddler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ASAP
TjTheProphet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"but yet"
It's but or yet choose 1!
fdasta0079 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"I'm a nice person."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't care what people think of me."
texifornian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I didn't have time to do XYZ"
There is almost always time to do something you want to do. It's really that you didn't want to do XYZ. Admit it!!
seasond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't you too old to __________?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Am I right or am I right?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - every crazy bitch ever. Thank you, Marilyn, for giving crazy bitches a battle cry. Seriously every girl (I just can't call them women) I know who has reposted this quote on facebook is the sort of girl to be horrible to the guy they're with, then freaks out and can't understand why they're relationship didn't work out. This quote doesn't give you a free pass to be psychotic and hurtful to people you care about.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Starting or ending a statement with "I'm an engineer". I heard this one more than once while living in a major tech hub.
2_minutes_in_the_box ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On fleek"
As in "My shit be on fleek"
Just stop.
call-now ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever anybody thinks their opinions are facts. For example ; "This song/artist sucks"
Who the fuck are you that anything you don't like must suck?! I guess everybody in the world who enjoys things you don't are all wrong because you are all-mighty and if you don't like something, it universally sucks
Drug_fueled_sarcasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No I'm not celiac, but I have a gluten intolerance.
cybishop3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Social justice warrior."
I get it, there's a kinda sorta distinctive flavor of stupidity on display at /r/tumblrinaction, you don't like them and want everyone to know it. Good for you. But any remotely worthwhile use the phrase may once have had is long gone due to the people who seem to think it just means "anyone who cares about respecting women and minorities." I've seen it used to describe a writer just for creating a gay character, or a lesbian for complaining about being hit on by a man. If you don't see any distinction between that and the mattress project or whatever the latest right-wing outrage du jour is, you're the problem, not the SJW.
my_lady_my_tuna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not like the other girls. I'm one of the guys....drama-free, ya know?"
xoites ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The problem with black people is..."
ManDDiTitsMGee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That song's sooo old"
Shinybobblehead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
Thanks for the most pointless statement ever.
xoites ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The problem with black people is..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a racist but...
fireforsun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a taxpayer..."
Sethmeisterg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, right?"
bmores8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason
BobSacramanto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My bad."
It is essentially admitting fault without remorse.
DagothUr28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't handle me at my worst, you dont deserve me at my best.
Blakeshon23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Deez Nuts...
So annoying and used all the time by people.
Pleiadian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is." "I'm not gonna lie." "My bad." "I know, right?"
benskishow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Shotgun". I started simply ignoring my folks and taking my place like they didn't say shit
dockingjabroni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just realize all my female friends use all the most up voted comments.
Lord_Dreadlow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just saying...."
2toneSound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"we agree to disagree"
z-13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just common sense."
People say this when they disapprove of the behavior or opinions of others, but can't think up good arguments against them.
Xian_42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist but..." is the sentence most racists start with.
Corndawgz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know everything"
Or using any form of the phrase "pencil you in"
RobotPettingZoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I wish I could walk (or insert exercise here) like you."
Then DO IT! If you can wish it, then will it!
Hyperion1144 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi I'm [name], president of the [Blank Blank] Homeowners Association."
Homeowners associations are the governments that happen when a small group of people who hate government get together and form a government.
Petty, abusive, insular, selfish, short-sighted, greedy, racist, classist, narcissistic, self-important, meddling busy-bodies. And you just notified me that you're their leader.
I instantly hate you.
ZeroFucksGiven00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you're with someone and they throw trash on the floor saying, "Oh, I'm just giving the trash people a job". Respect the "trash people" you cunt
marco262 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother/father/feminist/Christian/etc..."
onederful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wake up sheeepleee!!!"
cringe rage is a thing, and it comes alive in me when i hear people posting this on social media and the like.
rdkbdlr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe in Fox News.
yeah_yup_yeah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm different."
expletiveinyourmilk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want to say "dislike" but as a teacher, I get extremely frustrated when a student says "I don't get it."
What do you not get? What are you not understanding? Be more specific so I can help you. Please!
myredditnick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's "fuck you".
Gooshnads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone who says yolo but takes it seriously.
ddogreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone in a lecture has to relate it to their personal experience. FUCK OFF. SHUT UP. SIT DOWN. SHUT UP.
MrBeavis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who draw the racist card for things that is not racist
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's hilarious", spoken with a plain face
HFXGeo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"life hacks" ... wtf?? it's a fucking tip, not a hack...
Alakazing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Black Lives Matter!"
Shut up. Just shut up, you're making it worse.
e1emen0pe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The reality is..."
Fuck you and your reality. I know what's real mother fucker.
JoelMcCutchan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drake is my Bae and I'm sooo Cray for him.
Snowfox2ne1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who use smh (shake my head). Don't know what it is about it.
babylina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it's not my job." when you're at work, yes it is.
disrupty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not dislike, but I tend to not be as serious with people when they say it. I work at a call center, and people like to ask;
"YEAH DO YOU HAVE THE WINNING LOTTO NUMBERS?"
I used to just shrug it off but now I tend to mess with people, my favorite way is to say, "Yeah, I have last week's. Do you want them?"
Tends to throw them for a loop.
PatchworkGirlOfOz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Actually..."
marcle1969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's all good.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not my problem"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get your hands off my wife.
Pupp_Dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be honest with you....." Really, so everything before that was....?
sephsekla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less."
Think about what that means and you've just admitted that you do care.
The phrase is "I couldn't care less."
And then I don't want to murder you.
Anteatereatingant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason" : YES, YOU IDIOT, IT'S CALLED CAUSE AND EFFECT. Unless they do actually mean that but usually people who say that do mean karma/fate/whatever. Ugh. That and "If you just put that out into the universe then...". Instant fall from grace in my eyes.
sixisdead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Best in Class.
No it's fucking not. Everyone knows that you just made up a fucking new class for you to be "best" in. Go back to being subpar in your real class, because I'm not buying your marketing bullshit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is..."
No shit? How observant of you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
maximus_the_great ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless.
If you say this, you can choke on the english language and die sir.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Pandas are too dumb to breed to save their species."
They breed just fine in the wild- plenty of other endangered species don't like breeding in captivity either. I don't think the leafy sea dragon has EVER bred in captivity. Plus, they have no concept of their species being in danger!
I dislike this because it's symptomatic of accepting counterjerks without doing any research on their own.
R7ype ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother"
LegatePanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Jason Voorhees teleports."
henderson_gus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thank you in advance" I feel like it removes my choice on whether to do you this favor or not.
falconrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm the kind of person who..."
shadeOfAwave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less"
A_maxican123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that comes out of a tumbler feminist's mouth. You know who you are.
Medic_Sloot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'cos i'm so quirky like that'
allieril ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crรจme dela crรจme
Benjatron1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but...
Gelfling1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"LOL" in real life
dalthanar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"well to be honest about it..." So everything else you say is a lie? Moron.
T-i-m- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like to have fun"
BarackaWakaFlame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Try every thing once", "YOLO", And "It's cool to be a little naughty/bad/dangerous"
No and no. Don't be an idiot to impress people, and do not do dangerous thing just to try them
PerogiXW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
White people who say "fam", "squad", "bae", or "savage".
Looking at you /r/BlackPeopleTwitter.
SomeBeerDrinker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is!"
Might as well give up on everything I guess.
MellowGelo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be honest," Usually followed by some regurgitated opinion or semi offensive statement. I firstly doubt your honesty all together and also your brain capacity for wasting your one truth on some bullshit you picked up off Fox News. As a matter of speaking the "to be honest" is usually implied unless you are a pathological liar.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless
xaminmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a non/semi-technical person tells me a high-tech task does not take any time to complete.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I went to schools name and majored in something completely unrelated to the subject so I know a lot about the completely unrelated subject that I didn't major in"
And pretty much any phrases femnazis use.
Dont_Get_PENISY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's not my job."
TonyBarber19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It must be the (insert ethnic origin) in me."
uphighabove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
petrichor8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"whatnot"
"wanderlust"
bhrothgar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heaving someone say "I hate this place". I don't like wasting my time dealing with haters.
isavedakittentoday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything about church
beebeereebozo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and/or
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
iAtlas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
Shady_Italian_Bruh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But what about SRS?!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate drama"
flaviuscrispus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone ends a sentence with "so.........".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have a good one, if it was a snake itd jump out and bit me, i was young and dumb.
Pun-Master-General ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unnecessarily antagonistic/mocking comments about religion or lack thereof. I don't care if you believe or not, but seriously, that doesn't mean you can't be respectful enough of someone else's beliefs to refrain from telling them that the deity is an "imaginary friend."
And ditto for religious people being antagonistic to atheists, too. I get it, you want to spread the religion, but there's a point where it just reflects badly on the religion as a whole. If they aren't interested, move along.
bobojojo12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate black people"
FujiFighter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is..."
spider_cereal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, right!?"
ZionFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"May the fourth be with you."
Especially if it happens on my birthday, (4th May). I do not, and never have liked the Star Wars franchise, and I despise anyone who says that to me, so much so that I avoid Reddit on that day to halt the flood of posts with that very same title, or somewhere in the post content.
inb4ย pmย flood
HairlineIndustries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's offensive"
momotheflyinglemur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's offensive
MrCurtisLoew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm voting for Hillary Clinton because she's a women", or "I voted for Obama because he's black". Voting for someone because of their race or sex is a sure sign that you're stupid. If you support them because of their politics then good for you but if it's just because of those reasons then I have no respect for you.
Cocacola888 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Whilst"
renegadebetty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When the guy I'm dating called me "young lady". Instant turn off. We're not that far apart in age, and it makes me feel uncomfortable about why he's dating me.
mr6volt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they start a sentence with "I know in my heart...".
dj_fission ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people talk about others as "bodies."
E.g. "We need three bodies to go take care of that task."
They are people, not bodies. If you need bodies, go to the morgue.
trublood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's what she said." It stopped being funny after the first time I heard it, like 5 years ago.
LoLThatsjustretarded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's problematic".
tinypeopleinthewoods ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wooooow", "SERIOUSLY??!!", "REALLY!?", "WOOOW"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I was thinking to myself"
As opposed to...?
heffasaurusrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any reference to the Civil War being about "State's Rights."
Edit: Shitty spelling.
WickedSickPal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A little late to the party...
"I'm not racist, but..."
scramtek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
jonmoger06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm too awkward"
chivestheconquerer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"----- is bae."
CaptainCerealCanada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO"
FavouriteAsian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not being funny, but...."
jonstern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "like" in between too many words.
foufymaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My grandmother was a Cherokee*.
may also use grand father or any other ancestor
may substitute any other Federally recognized Native American tribe.
Speak your language. <- yep got that one last week.
Zeozulu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"... just saying."
When clearly they have an underlying point they want to get across without actually directly speaking it. Typically something overtly racist or insensitive in some way. A conversational connect the dots if you will. It fills me with a rage I can't describe.
jesrad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a patient person
normalamericanman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching Fox News and they said ""
urthebestaround ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist buuut..."
Stop, it's still racist even when you say its not .
SgtSmilies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We're on the right side of history."
Pumpernickelfritz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Duhhhhh!" Anyone who feels they can say duhh to another human being i have a serious problem with.
treytable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
Stuck0nLvl1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate animals."
Propsy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who does the "Pewdiepie" sound. You can get outta my life.
RiotMasud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All the feels" or "My feels"
theoriginalmryeti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense but....
In other words, you know you're about to say something assholeish but somehow saying no offense but gets you off the hook. All it does is prepare me for some shiity thing you're about to say!
oncie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"but i digress"
"you know what you should do..."
PeuVraisemblable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I seen"
I'm sorry, it makes me not want to be near you any longer.
MarlaSinger36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If I have a problem with you, I'll say it to your face. That's how I am."
Meanwhile, this bitch gossips and talks about the problem with everyone except the person she's 'not afraid to confront.'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" Let's network! "
Fuck you.
NearlyOutOfMilk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I decline an invitation and mention I'm just going to have a night in with my girlfriend, and they say, "Ahh, the OL' BALL AND CHAIN!"
iamalittleteapot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Mmhmm"
neuroglias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Needless to say..."
Then why are you saying it? I stop listening or reading whenever I hear or read this phrase.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When grown ass adults say, "That's amazeballs!"
MadDanelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like your tattoos, " from strangers in public. Thanks, but I just do not give a shit how you feel about them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase containing the word 'hashtag'
Gab_the_Great ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just trying to tone."
arnaudh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"C'est la vie."
Go fuck yourself, you defeatist dunce.
Nostalgianothing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..." Blah blah blah, a baby came out of your vagina, not a PHD.
cheezcaik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm triggered by ____________________"
Sweet_Delicious_420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Whatevs"
Mr_Rekshun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"SJW"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a few, but the one I love to hate most is 'sugar? No thanks, I'm sweet enough! LOLOLOLOL'
Just really gets on my nerves. Not sure if it's a British thing though.
hanni7345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I'm disliked alot
Mildlynotirrelevant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bae
Giony1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yolo, bae, on fleek. there's others im sure, just can't think of em now
goosegoose125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, its actually supposed to be you're*
SILENT_GRAPE_SNIFFER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Allahu akbar
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"OMG i'm so worried over this test!! i have anxiety!!!1"
No, you don't. Do you worry about your car not having a full amount of gas before leaving to go literally anywhere?
Do you pass out from being scared or confronted?
Do you fret and worry yourself to the point of physical sickness if you get a bad grade on a test?
No? Okay. You MIGHT have anxiety but being worried over something like that is normal.
LDawg618 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is almost the exact same example I use when explaining depression. "I'm so depressed I got a bad grade on my math test." Uh no you're not. You're upset.
Moneyley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have to go with every single mom's hook line on dating sites- "My kids are my world"
bellatesla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And Jesus said.....
SandyClawscratcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a smartass" and they look way too proud.
Smien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All rich people are smart"
Chad_Worthington_3rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Savage"
"Rekt"
"kek"
"smh"
Tserraknight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Triggered"
OCDENT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know why I pulled you over?
freshprinceofjc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
jimmy_the_jew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
blah blah blah global warming blah blah blah
fuckfucknoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best."
Santoron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Anyone who thinks <insert thought here> is worse than Hitler."
sethbob86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a free country!
KazPart2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like Nickelback."
creek_slam_sit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The moon landing was a lie
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
bethanitta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Absolute nightmare!'
FalseTongue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back in my day...
Jas0nta11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Me IRL" gifs
JAYDEA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"King" Obama.
nadiaface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Actually...." Used in a condescending tone to correct someone.
cubbyad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swag Yolo Hash tag Selfie O.M.G. Basically any of the idiot lingo upsets me
Sweatynready2k14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as you are introduced to them, "I'm one of those people you either love or you hate." For some reason that always rubs me the wrong way and I like meeting new people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day." idiots!
purpleexercise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anything racist
tmiller3192 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...but I digress."
SkyPork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Perception is reality."
No. No, it fucking isn't.
Jigglyandfullofjuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who use the term "MLG" drive me nuts.
mkperry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Irregardless"
Flopenhagen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm nor racist but..."
oldsoulsam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't believe in feminism."
InsultsYouButUpvotes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I tell it like it is!"
Fuck you, and fuck right off. That basically says that you have no problem telling people their own faults, but can't take criticism yourself.
LethargicParasite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't care what anyone thinks, I speak my mind and if you don't like it that's tough."
These people just want a free pass for being rude all the time, and are even trying to spin their disregard for other people's feelings into a positive personality trait. It's scumbaggery at its finest. If you are one of these people, fuck right off.
amirelite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"End of play." No, fuck you.
SpecialAgentUno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't like dogs."
Well, now I don't like you.
MaxJohnson15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Grow your business"
This one was not grammatically correct until one day somebody decided that it was. That's too much power for anybody to wield.
The other one for me is when people use work as a noun unless they're evil scientists in a movie. Example "We have one of those at my work". This didn't used to exist until recently. Everybody in the world would have used 'job' in that situation up until about 5 years ago.
Blubalz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo
Hines ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PeteLX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"anyways"
TimeToRun1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You going to church Sunday?"
ThunderLuigi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you say anything along the lines of "Socio-Communo Anarchist", along with disliking you, I will never take you seriously ever again.
Alternatively, if you start talking about pronouns a person has made up for him or herself, I'll politely ignore them and watch you foam at the mouth from the folly of your passive-aggressive principle of inclusion by exclusion as I refer to you as either "he" or "she". Fuck SJWs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, but seriously though..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a good Christian." To me, it implies that I'm a piece of shit, because I don't share their beliefs.
Zom6ie_Roxas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are sooo many. Try and show a friend something cool. "Oh, I saw that first." anyone that says "bae" can go fuck themselves for all eternity.
meels0nwh33ls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yous
treeefingers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not trying to be an asshole, but (insert mean comment or judgement)"
Really? If you KNOW you're being an asshole, then why continue?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When I was doing my undergrad" this happened etc..
AsYouHearTheBirds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Signing off on.
I know it's in regular usage and, no, I don't think that means it's right to use. We can approve something. We can give the fucking go ahead. Hell, we can sign things and, in a different context, sign off.
But don't sign off on things. Don't be that guy.
scotty286 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is". WTF else would it be?! Of course it IS what it IS!
TheKoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"grub station"."snak shak." "nuff said."
Laserchainsaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from MN. When people from the Midwest refer to California as "Cali"
hm03surf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like, literally, I totally ________"
FalseAxiom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I over it."
You're clearly not over it. If you were, you wouldn't be talking about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't you guys hate people who say ________, ugh they're so annoying!"
BehoveLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not religious, I'm spiritual.
catsaremagic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just not like other girls"
emuhly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"New year, new me"
A8Warmonger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have a Good One. It always pisses me off when somebody says that to me. It feels disrespectful
IGetThis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What? Why?
I say this sometimes when hanging up. It's just kind of automatic and it encompasses have a good day, night, weekend, holiday, etc. Whatever is coming up. HAVE A GOOD ONE.
I mean... how is it disrespectful, I just don't get it.
seaboardist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mancave. Canโt stand it.
shinymangoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When at a job and it's obvious that something should be done a different/better way, the management just say, "Welcome to <company>" like there is no point in trying. Shitty complacent attitudes make me furious
BAMspek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When taking someone's order: "give me a..." Or "let me have a..." No fucker ask nicely.
LDawg618 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard someone say "I want a...." and that made me cringe too.
BAMspek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It just sounds needy. But it's not as rude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't wanna say XY, but..."
Followed by exactly saying XY.
MandaTheRin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The phrases "freaks me out" and "makes me twitchy" just feel so juvenile and when I hear grown up people use them it just makes my stomach turn
TessaigaVI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So how about this heat"
tofu- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
epic
shirshine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That kid who's always like "you know if the teacher doesn't show up in 15 minutes we can just go home" whenever the teacher is running late. You're a dumbass and I hope your truant ass gets sent to court
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any variation on the words 'innovative' or 'cutting edge'.
No, your product and/or company is just another small spec of bland insignificance.
It annoys me that they somehow expect me to buy into a product's novelty more than its relevance.
I don't care if you've created the first ever set of holographic curtains, I like my motherfucking sleep.
a-non-y-mouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I haven't seen you in a minute!"
liberationplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
LadyKlaymoor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sentence our question that ends with the word "at." For example: "where are you at?" No, you effing moron..."where are you?" NO MORE.
LogieBearWebber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason"
Technically correct, but not in the sense in which this phrase is usually said, which means that there is some sort of divine plan which means that this specific thing needed to happen or will be worth it in the end. What kind of shitty divine plan needs a cancer patient to develop HIV (or another horrible scenario of your choosing)
EDIT: Or, "Only god can judge me." Wrong, I'm judging you right now dumbass
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a right wing fundamentalist Christian. Jesus loves you and you SHOULD dedicate YOUR life to him". No thanks, let the shepherd have his sheep.
hotsavoryaujus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Dat _____ tho."
damonteufel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..." Fuck you. Breeding doesn't make you wise. It doesn't make you superior. It doesn't make you a better person. Your child isn't a miracle. Cockroaches have 200 kids a day. You've been outdone.
GoodGrades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not my job to educate you"
That's one of the most important parts of political activism, you lazy fuck.
Sprinksies92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Misusing the word "ignorant". Disagreeing with you does not make someone ignorant. Acting in contrast to something you know does not make you ignorant. Knowing but not caring does not make you ignorant.
vdude5008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo
elknepp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is" and "At the end of the day..."
caliman64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boss always says, "At the end of the day.." Drives me crazy.
marceline407 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"'I see!' said the blind man."
RoseyOneOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need a root canal.
Like, screeeeeeewwww yooooooouuuuuu, duuuuude.
ITiswhatITisforthis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in customer support, and this old lady called about wanting her money back on a product she purchased several years back. I questioned her about how she used said product and her response was, "I take care of my stuff, and I'm a christian so I don't lie" LOLOLOLOLOLOL
sineofthetimes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, when I was in school...." Being a teacher, I'll just say, a LOT has changed since then. Not all for the better, but it's different.
Hellshitfuckasscunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YUPPERS!"
Ugh, just no...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I appreciate you"
fandango159 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason!
youcrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well I don't know about that"
basically saying: I am an asshole who is too dumb, ignorant or to understand a something so $#& you.
aleon33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uum that's offensive
jamiebeleren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason.
Literal_Blastoise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I play Smash 4 competitively."
shirshine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you change (x) to (y) in this post, it becomes pretty (y)phobic."
Wow! If you change the words of a sentence, it also changes the meaning! Astounding!
hyperbad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
blah blah blah and blah, so....
So what? So... What? Make your damn point and finish your thought.
bigchiefdarkcloud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
biggin it up....
BDMayhem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Invariably said by those who don't understand what was broken.
SideMountRestriction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"SETTLED SCIENCE!"
Peritract ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Pet peeve".
gergbody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything with the word "Toxic"
jswan28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense but [something unoffensive]
captainkatybitchh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything suicide related.
"Go kill yourself." "God today sucks, I just wanna kill myself lol" finger guns to the head
For real bro, knock it off-.-
TheUrban-Sombrero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It makes my skin crawl when people use the word "epic" to describe an ordinary occurrence.
TheTamrielTerror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get unreasonably hateful when a person writes "since" as "sense" (as in a synonym for "because"). Most other grammar mistakes don't bother me. Maybe because an ex always did that.
korochan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"not to be whatever, but..."
IRLpowerranger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't touch me." I'll rip your fucking face off
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Gay!!!!!" "Austistic retard!!!!" You know, the like.
ayybillay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha. Could you imagine if people started by saying "I am huge flaming racist and so are my people, but..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am better than you in every way."
cloneman648 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thats Savage!!! " and " RAD"
sirbadges ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Excuse me for trying to be a decent human being" Those who claim they're decent are probably aren't decent people and are probably blind to their own shit.
m-p-3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Context: I work in IT.
ghaleonbane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't even"
Even what. What can't you even do? Talk? Proper English?
WonTheGame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's a known proven fact."
Usually accompanied by some pseudo scientific statement that's been debunked time and time again. Frequently accompanies total bullshit.
starjedi357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...like, in between, after, and before every word
RMGbutterNUT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sunday funday!"
ClassicYotas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My new boyfriend"
What are you fucking trading them in?
You hear that you know two things: 1) That bitch is trouble 2) She's easy
r2d2quotes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me to calm down or relax when i am relaxed and calmed...i will hate you so much
armadilloc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fetch
thorninmysoul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know you are but what am I?"
Bob_Sconce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"microagression" (except when used ironically or to make fun of the entire idea that people should be protected from every little thing that affects their delicate psyche.)
lil_grey_alien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let's circle back"
Appl3sauce123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because I'm a woman/girl
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Common reddit, we just had this thread.
BKing63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I literally can't even..."
Conn-Ales ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What church do you attend?"
katrina_allyson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when they use "bae"
yoloruinslives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What would jesus do
The-music-asker12345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I shouldn't have to."
Whenever I hear someone say that, I hear it as halfway between "It isn't fair" and "I'm too lazy to do something about it."
Justmeandthetoilet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a sneaker head" holy fuck.. Go away
Slumber_Knight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say "It is what it is" The fuck it is, you control your own life.
Also anyone who's forceful with their religion. I'm always up for listening about different faiths but when I'm watching the science channel in the break room and I explain to a co-worker how the reason black holes are black is because their escape velocity is faster then the speed of light, that's why they are so powerful and you lean in going "IS'NT THAT COOL WHAT GOD MADE? HE'S SO POWERFUL" I don't care Kristie fuck off.
Pankerson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am literally.... (insert words here)"
These people figuratively make me sigh with disappoint whenever they speak.
Kellianne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I just say what's on my mind." or "I tell it like it is." This usually means I'm rude and I don't care. It really pisses me off when they attribute this to being from New York.
Dutchan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like all kinds of music"
UNNEEDED_PROFANITY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry not sorry."
mlkk22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mid or feed
TheAmazingSkoof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Boys will be boys"
"Don't be such a girl"
It's basically saying that boys are stupid and more able to get away with shit and that being a girl is worse than being a boy. People shouldn't get an excuse for being stupid just because they're a boy or a girl.
philosophy_or_nah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a dude will instantly say "so, you want me to pic you up?" When you just met them
bluesteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"ALL lives matter!!!"
Coreyyvette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Whats your horoscope?" Followed by, "I knew you were a leo, thats such a leo thing to do."
alphabehr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a(n) [Insert Zodiac sign here] therefore blah blah blah.
275Adamas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That Marilyn Monroe quote girls with shitty personalities use to make themselves feel better when guys stop talking to them after they act like a child.
roseatlas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hella ____"
Ugh, I hate it so much.
IdTugYourBoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While at work: "Are you having fun yet?"
No. I'm at work, you twat.
Hunaria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm quiet until you get to know me
Bearbearinson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peng. Its not even a word!
pian0keys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you mean ping, by chance? If so, that most definitely is a word, or at least an IT term that has become a bit mainstream.
Bearbearinson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, sadly not. Peng as an expression of joy or awe. To use it in a sentence.. "Have you seen my new top? Its well peng. Mainly used by teenagers and idiots
pian0keys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dafuq? You really should invest in some lethal injections to kill whatever morons live in your area.
Boush117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone using hashtags or typing you as...you know.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"She deserved it for what she was wearing."
Alright I'm not some crazy feminazi (note the distinction between feminazi and feminist), but that's just incredibly stupid. The phrase itself is absolutely ridiculous.
Dutchan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't LIKE what I write on my PRIVATE Facebook, so DON'T LOOK AT MY FACEBOOK then!"
See this shit a lot when people make a big joke about themselves or posting way to private things.
And then the dumbasses got their profile on ,public,
wowszaR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i drive better when i'm drunk"
cracker32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone makes a joke at your expense in order to look good
blahblahlablah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO!
TheMILFMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "like" in every other word. "Like omg! He's like so...adorable, I could just like hug him like omg!" Shut the fuck up!
BunnyHunter11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm more street smart"...says the suburban white girl
drukath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who claims anything is just banter / 'bants'.
swaggu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those people.
dragonthingy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, right?". If you know, why are you asking me if you're right?
e111baty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a list of things that one person I know often says. I usually leave the conversation shortly after...
"As a songwriter..." (This one usually comes up after he says something negative about a song someone likes that's playing, or a band, etc. This is how he begins to defend simply being rude to someone else when it is in regards to music.)
"As a supertaster..." (The same thing as #1 really but replace music with food)
"That's just a really lazy way of thinking." (The opinion of someone else that doesn't match with his. I wouldn't complain if it was actually lazy and a problematic way of thinking, but this is just what he says when someone says something he doesn't agree with.)
"I'm really sorry you think that way." (It's used when #3 is used but usually is accompanied by a chuckle and a 'I've had it' kind of attitude.)
badrussiandriver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't play games"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thank you for your service." when they learn I served in the army. No. It was self-service. It fed my family. I didn't do shit for you.
Evansa1982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Late to comment...
When people say "It's the same difference"
paralemptor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You think too much".
No, you don't think enough.
virtus_et_sapientia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hella"
SpecificallyGeneral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had the time to go further down, but -
"Let's agree to disagree"
Whether it's being trotted out because they no longer want to talk about it, they've been proven decisively wrong, or whatever random heavy particle has just whizzed through their head that happened to nudge the circle of willis, doesn't matter. Hate it.
LadyKnightmare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey this country has Free speech! I can say whatever I want!"
sigillumdei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when someone tells me "we need to talk" but they want to have that conversation 10 hours from now so I'm left tortured all day wondering what the problem is.
DoggieDoggieDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going forward -- SJW -- Snowflake (snowflake generation) -- An armed society is a polite society -- The real world -- I'd vote for Trump -- I'm not a racist, but... -- Low hanging fruit -- Seamless solution -- I'm carrying -- Whatever -- LOL (in place of real laughter) -- Fox is fair and balanced -- We are committed to... (coming from a company that is anything but) -- Alphas, deltas, gammas (as classes of male) -- White knight - The earth was created 6,000 years ago.
DonHopkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL WUT
vintagephiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Such is life"
NonsensicalParadise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man I use that one so much when people are boring the hell out of me and I just turn off and stop payig attention. xD
vintagephiz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know why, it just irritates me beyond belief to hear those 3 words together in one sentence lmao
NonsensicalParadise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In your defense it is pretty irritating and such a fatalist way of thinking as well.
Dutchan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO!!!!!"
pian0keys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_Jw5BHUGdEY
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im not fat. Im just thick" No. You are obese.
notabigmelvillecrowd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Real women (bleep bloop blop, whatever bullshit comes after)".
WorkplaceWatcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, right?"
TheA41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just saying, but........"
That is never followed by anything but complete douchebaggery.
whovian42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know who I am?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not my circus, not my monkey." It may not be your monkey, but if you can stop the monkey from strangling people, I mean does it matter?
pj2d2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I don't like curry'
Trenticle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a vegan" or "I do crossfit"
pian0keys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crossfit is the opposite of Fight Club. Rule #1 is to never shut up about crossfit.
gingermagician2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"im not racist but..." followed by literally almost anything. no, just shut up, nothing after that phrase will sound good, or not racist.
MasterFranco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'll understand when you're older...
janus342 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses the "words" 'finna, hella, or helli' can go fuck themselves
charmlessman1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everyone is entitled to their opinion."
To me that just means, "I don't like what you said, but I can't disagree logically."
wm_destroy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Work smart not hard Perspective Irregardless
snortingking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that I know is an internet joke. It's not that it makes me dislike them, just feel sad and want nothing to do with them.
nonesuchthing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't thank me, thank Jesus for making people like me"
SoldierofNod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Life is what you make it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Redundant adjectives.
Cool website is cool... no. Angry cat is angry... fuck off.
If you use these, you need to be chemically castrated.
aestus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The gripes people have with certain turns of phrase are even more annoying than the phrase itself. So much overreaction, overstatement, exaggaration. Cool your titties down.
musicalyricist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Insert anything or anyone here) is my spirit animal.
blakfeld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone says "Now-a-days". No, shit isn't just get worse. Things sucked just as much back then, you just don't remember it. Stop being such a goddamn pessimist.
45cats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God bless"
Doodlebug_mecca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"im a hiphop head"
DesignDivaNY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So this happened on accident." UGH! BY accident, BY ACCIDENT! speaka da english any?
FiftyShadesOfDismay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I forgot my crazy pills". No you fucking didn't, absolutely nothing is fun or wacky about taking those kind of pills. It is trivializing conditions that already have a public stigma.
PJroast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people rate something "as fuck."
I have a bad mouth when necessary, but that phrase is just so lazy. And it doesn't even make sense!
justaguymasturbating ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, but to be fair ....."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
using any improper combination of like and literally
HydroFracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh I know, but"
Neverbeentotoronto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It was in the last place i looked" Of course it was. You don't look further when you've found it.
AvocadoSushiRoll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For every animal you don't eat, I'll eat three." Real original. I don't care what you eat, stop caring what I eat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I cringe when people say "Let's get a bite to eat!"
im1nsanelyhideousbut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"niggers"
pian0keys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Broseph."
You can die now, you witless fuck.
patrick219 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just sayin'"
MK1412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist/homophobic/close-minded but..."
cheated_in_math ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Triggered
ZuluAlphaCharlie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I dont have time to exercise"
semaj_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I was so turnt" shutup
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im under no obligation to be the same person I was 5 minutes ago.
Basically to me that means "im irresponsible i dont know what i want and I dont take responsibility for mu actions"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...crossfit..."
Raudskeggr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who disagrees with someone by saying "ummm.... No".
Fuck you!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eat so healthy but I just can't lose weight!
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Touch base"
"Up and at 'em"
"Dank memes"
CDeggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My ex girlfriend's sister broke up with a guy for "awesome possum" being part of his regular vocabulary.
aedansblade36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a total bitch, but I hate drama."
Jason-Perry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also too.
Werewolf35a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be honest with you....."
What, you weren't before?
Or are you about to shit on me?
Rwhdeck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference"... This phrase almost made me snap today while trying to explain how it didn't make sense in the context in which it was used.
LtWorf_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I cold care less". Which is usually used to mean the opposite.
Sunbeamdreaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But at the end of the day...
Like why are you trying to conclude a conversation which is actually incredibly complex and open ended with this kind of simplistic "an apple a day" "a stitch in time" nonsense!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Here in my garage"
TechnoBacon55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Made my day" laughing emoji, laughing emoji, hand emoji, laughing emoji
Deadboss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless of your beliefs, I think mine are better for all intensive purposes.
debman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Non-ironic use of the word "sheeple"
badgersofdoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I just wanted to reach out to you". or "Have you tried reaching out to ___?"
It sounds so fake. I don't want to be reached at. Just "talk" or "ask" or do anything other than reaching.
Kryptikk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is, what it is". Well no shit.
OBL3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Come watch this Buzz Feed its hilarious"
No it fucking isn't.
ajore22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I suddenly dislike everyone in this thread.
HeywoodUCuddlemee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
lofilofi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using "derp" in any situation. People use it to fill in the blank when they can't think of the right word to say. If you can't think of a word to say, just don't say anything. Not that hard.
ClamsMcOyster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To make a long story short..."
It never is short. Anyone I have ever heard say this has always been been extremely long-winded.
southerncrossnz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate the person what they follow up one of my extremely witty comments with "badoom chaaaaa"
garbage_man123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who doesnt know me and calls me, "Boss" can fuck right off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Love my bae" the word means poo stop being so fucking stupid and annoying
Torbunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The baby".
nubsauce87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Actually..." Instant Tune-out.
bromanski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
more like specific words: 1. Yum! and its derivatives (yummerific!) although this pertains mostly to writing like yelp reviews, blogs etc 2. Hubby. Interestingly, there seems to be almost 100% overlap in these two categories.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's better to let 100 guilty men go free, than one innocent suffer." Often used as an anti-death penalty argument but the quote has literally nothing to do with the death penalty.
TheWanderingFish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I did it on accident."
No. No you did not. You did it by accident.
It's a little thing, but it truly annoys me.
Burgle_Your_Turts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't reward stupid.
Workin4Gains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cray cray.
_konvikt_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Aww look at that face. I cant get mad at you."
Every person ive known that has said that, has had a horribly trained dog.
Fuck just recently, we were visiting my sisters aunt who has a husky. it was chewing a bone under the table. my sister was on a swivel chair, just swiveling back and forth. Her foot happened to pass by the husky. And the husky snapped and bit her foot.
word for word from the owner "aww look at that face. you cant get mad at that face!" Did nothing to reprimand the dog at all. Then about 10 minutes later the dog was begging for food, and the owner shooed the dog away. to which the dog snapped at the owner. Nothing was done about that either.
enternitea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you knew what's going on in my head, you would be so scared" Or people who don't have mental illness. "I'm soooo crazy"
50shadesofgreatness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If during our first meeting you use "Too be honest.." I immediatley chalk you up to being a liar"
sbrandi74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry, but (insert asinine comment here)."
"I'm sorry, but" means I'm about to say something nasty, racist, homophobic or whatever, but you can't be offended because I'm sorry in advance that you're so sensitive.
Tall_dark_and_lying ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother you just know... Or any variation. As if taking a dick and not doing anything bad enough in a 9month period somehow give you new found, mystically endowed, wisdom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"am I supposed to be impressed?"
fuck yourself
ampedwolfman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"sounds like you got a case of the mondays"
frogboxed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wubba lubba dub dub
WhtdidIJstRd202 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is." Seriously...you're saying nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people ending their statement in "though"
"these cheese fries tho"
shut the fuck up, though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is". Say that to or around me and I will never speak to you again
RobinBankss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One vote won't make a difference.
Droodster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a "verb", but...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi do you have a Juice menu?"
bwils777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Low Key" as in, " low key I don't really like that person."
Reddit_is_Google_is ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is" Stop that! It doesn't make sense!
DaltonK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When gamers are on the fence with a game and they say "I'm about to pull the trigger." I feel like punching you.
Simplymissa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love crossfit."
killbotticus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sarcastic!
onji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the end of any corporate email..."Please advise"
catsarebetterthanppl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"A free soul" as their description on Instagram.
Like, wtf does that even mean!??
CplusPrometheus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Referring to a car model year as "kouki" or "zenki". Essentially newer and older respectively. Not a literal translation from Japanese, obviously.
I don't know why, but that fills me with irrational rage lol.
killbotticus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone calls me bud.. "hey bud"
mrg014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry I'm not sorry
Easy way for me to tell who is a jackass
pface7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Raise your dongers."
qu3L ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love that lol
adilore2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Toats
DJ_Betic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asking a yes or no question and finishing with "or no?"
"Do you have this in stock, or no?"
"Could you meet me for lunch on Friday, or no?"
JMile69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pray for you"
qu3L ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say bae
The_God_Father ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate drama but I'm always in it"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All _____ are ______"
(except they fill in the blanks with something controversial and topical.)
oktember1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Smile"
If I wanted to I would, I actually do know how to work my facial muscles.
macaskill_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I craft e-liquids and for me it is:
"Do you carry organic e-liquids?"
.... explodes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is
plane86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's so epic." Die in a fire.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"See, the problem with society is..."
GinkoWeed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Legos are for kids."
Well fuck you and your lack of creativity.
Al89nut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Truther
email_optional_cool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do what now?
TikiTikiTiki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know I'm an asshole!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool Beans.
Evermix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What I'm saying is..."
If you were making any sense then this wouldn't be necessary.
Bamzooki1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swaggy bae
Keenanmc001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i have a douchey coworker who always answer questions or orders with "Word" or more specifically "woooorrrrrrrrddddd".
Like, are you a platinum rap artist or a grown man working a part-time job making 8/hr.
becauseyousaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I/You deserve....
drlala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a woman, when other woman say they obly have guy friends. No, you are not a tom boy at 32... you are just a bitch and no girls like you.
jrdebo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Raped women are used goods.
Leaftone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm lazy
Moice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We're pregnant."
No. One of you is pregnant, even though you're both having a child.
"We'll" both be pregnant when you're both giving birth, and that isn't going to happen any time soon.
naked-kitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm crazy!"
Psychedeliciousness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who interject 'hahaha' whilst recounting a story online.
I don't know why I hate it, but I do.
tararyan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I have a side of cole slaw?
MrBigums101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yoooo b!
Snackleton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Social justice warrior" as a pejorative.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What the actual fuck" is the dumbest goddamn statement. Putting the word "actual" in there does not make it somehow more meaningful. It's even worse when people say it out loud.
bronsonville ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOU AIN'T GOT BANDS, SON!
samdman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
let that sink in...
drlala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do ----- and have a hard time because I'm autistic.
Or you are just lazy and havnt tried making friends because being uncomfortable is not fun for you.
See it all the time, especially in young redditors.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yolo.
Elementium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Generally anything that shows a dislike or willingness to fight changes just because it's different than what someone is used to.
One example being "we don't want to change the racist name of our football team because it's always been like this".
Bamzooki1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish the holocaust happened.
pygmyjesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cool beans"
epiphanette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a(n) _____________"
KnightofGarm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am a very humble person", which is why you have to proudly tell everyone you are, right?
The16BitGamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I didn't take my plane to Hawaii, I took my JET."
thewhiskey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NFL phrases:
Moving the Chains, running the table, etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm clearly better than everyone else in this world."
Khaymann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The job that you do (entry level horseshit job) is just as important as (job that pays 4 times as much)"
Yeah, I'm sure it is, which is why you treat me like a slave and pay me bupkis.
darkblue217 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a real people's person"
It's suppose to mean they are easy to get on with and/or popular. But it makes me want to stuff their mouths full of dog shit and staple their nostrils shut.
samuelk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WITNESS ME!
irononreverse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mediocre
UhOhFeministOnReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to go against the grain here. I really, really like it when I hear people misuse phrases. I think it's because I watch way too much Trailer Park Boys. But I just think it's cute and funny.
Vyri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a biomedical programmer hacker chef janitor CEO of Microsoft race equality movement activists abortionists feminist I hate people (especially on foruming sites similar to reddit) that say : As a _(insert profession here)_
mooseqwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Last year at (insert music festival)..."
edit: wordage
hedgehoghatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
quite a common bit of slang from where i live is to say "or no" instead of "or not" it drives me crazy
surrender_at_20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look I bought an original NES/Atari/N64 and 500 games at this garage sale. - Congratulations on trying to dig up child hood memories that weren't yours. People who never grew up with an NES like to post this shit as if these games were masterpieces. No, they weren't, and we tolerated them because gaming wasn't everywhere like it is now. I was given 1-2 games a year, so I played the fuck out of them (beating them dozens of times).
I also HATE the "look at my Zelda sticker/triforce lamp/shirt/hoodie/link hat/shield/master sword/poster/dildo" It's fucking stupid; followed by the responses "OMG I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE" for everything Zelda. No one really likes it that much, but it's a bandwagon thing that has gone on far too long.
cewallace9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae caught me sleepin. Or anytime the word "bae" is used.
pfistacuffs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
smh
AndermaniEmpire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I ain't gonna lie..."
Motherfucker, I didn't ask you to, and what you're about to say isn't something that anyone would normally lie about.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Are you my real father?"
fruitloomers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mid or feed
tacoheadbob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" If you don't like it, then you can move". This indicates to me that either I am a master debater (heh) and have completely flummoxed the other individual. Or I am a jerk and should move away. Either way this usually signals the end of an enjoyable high spirited conversation.
descripticon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
Jibade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Living day by day
Instant triggers someone who is not responsible in life...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"too, as well"
I know I'm late to the post...but I need to get this off my chest. Done.
Greggie83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I literally..." You only have to use the word when it is something that can be done figuratively, too.
In my head, after I hear that word, everything is a blur and I have to keep myself from screaming.
irishink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Better you than me".
AceValentine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fair enough"
PrincessAloria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am the great cornholio" "Tp for my bunghole"
Instant disrespect from me, Instant dislike. I will give you a dirty look and walk off.
azith77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Will you double bag that?" I work in a grocery store.
CWoww ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so evil!! lozlozlol"
Drives me crazy on some real levels.
Tweak3D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For the lack of a better term.... Ugh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"settle down" when I'm not even mad
OhioMegi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I seen you was...."
coitusFelcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"As a _____"
Seriously...any word can fill that blank. Whenever someone starts a sentence like that I know what comes next is going to annoy the shit out of me.
SpiderCh33f ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love minions"
Elturiel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hella
turnbulljs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a professional context - I hate people who use phrases like "as I've just said" or "so obviously" in presentations.
"As I've just said" in answer to a question implies that if I don't remember then I wasn't listening, and that's my fault. But in my experience, whilst you might have said it usually the reason I don't remember is because you didn't make your point in a memorable way, which is a failure of the presenter not the audience.
"So obviously" implies that if I don't immediately understand or see the connection, I'm dumb, and that's my fault. But in my experience, usually the reason something isn't obvious is because you didn't draw the thread well or tell the story properly, which (as I've just said) is a failure of the presenter not the audience.
PmPussyPics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LoL is better then Dota 2.
Pants_indeed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything like "oh only in (insert group here)" or "we are so crazy/weird"
civilian11214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people fuck up their grammar because they consider it "slang". One of my long-time friends has gotten into the habit of saying things like "I seen that the other day" when I know damn well that they are smarter than that and know how to use correct speech. It's like it is cool to be grammatically incorrect now, and you get criticized if you correct them, or don[t follow the same flow. Fuck them.
annathepanda1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'when push comes to shove'
dougmpls3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Rescue dog"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Supposably..."
WTFinland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How can you say you support gender equality but are not a feminist?
As if modern-day feminism and supporting gender equality would be the exact same thing...
drimen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Relax"
Or anything to calm me down when they don't know me... Dude you just made it WAY worse and I want to kill you now.
rblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Get your dick out of my birdhouse before I call the cops!"
byneefattah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello"
Zabidar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Imma let you finish..."
CallMeStarfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't get pregnant if the girl is on top."
thedingusbrigade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fluoride in the water is bad for you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sooooo....." Ugh, even typing it gives me anxiety.
springer70 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a boss that spewed corporate buzzwords like crazy. It's all he knew.
I tuned him out after a while. I also got fired, so there's that.
I wanted to punch him in the neck every time I talked to him
Douee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"#kidstodaywillneverknow"
terr_unda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is
Njilramsool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bruh"
RobinBankss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Money is the root of all evil"
To begin, they've misquoted the bible.
It is: The love of money is the root of all evil.
Sometimes, this is a tester phrase used to determine if anyone will correct them. Sometimes, this statement is made by somebody who never read the bible, and never will, but they are claiming to be Catholic or Born Again.
Secondly, it just not true.
We live in a world with evils that have nothing to do with money.
danzey12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I only smoke when I drink"
Foxkeh1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a problem with gays but/except when/however...[insert homophobic comment here]."
DontHandleMeBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a phrase, but when people say acronyms in real life like "Lol".
Spartacus3321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leaving out a few details but when I was young my house burned down and our neighbors way of comforting us was telling us "Its just stuff". Like ya, it's just stuff but it was tens of thousands of dollars worth of stuff that we needed. Gets me real mad just thinking about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says "Don't worry about it", especially when they're doing a crappy job at something that's going to cause me to get paged in the middle of the night.
Popguy68 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All the shit they ask for in the job descriptions: "Hit the ground running..." "Self-starter.." "Must be a CLOSER!" blablablablabla
UserIDsAreStupid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I keep it 100
YaBudstrum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but saying the work like as if it were going out of style. Which it is and has.
doubbleu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apples to oranges
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate people who are "Gender/Race"..
HaruKodama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Recently I was at the range and I asked one of the experienced workers for some tips on shooting my rifle to get better, his response: "pull the trigger"
After a staredown of annoyance, he finally helped
bigsue1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'it's easy if you have the right tools/know what you're doing'
no fucking shit, ass hat.
rocket science isn't fucking hard if you know what you're doing.
Building a car isnt fucking hard if you have the right tools.
got me heated as fuck haha
Jwiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sucks to suck
What the fuck, no, shut up.
HighFructoast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I will ping you later"
chaoticmessiah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's only banter!"
Jtract ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I mean like, y'know?"
DerringerHK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I always speak my mind."
Then you must either be an idiot or a sociopath.
monkeyfullofbarrels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted to be clever, but there's a time delay on "I Do"
26ace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mountain, Lava Spike, Go
thesealdeal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase but a word: "whilst"
irononreverse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's an odd one to dislike, being that it's a pretty common word. Any particular reason?
THE_BIFOCAL_BROCCOLI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid long horses...
papao1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The ones in power want us to think that" Fuck your conspiracys
omeezysheezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a taxpayer, I...."
Diessel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feels
Setfiretoyourhands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day..." errrgh, such a vile phrase.
DoritoAssassin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything, no matter what, beginning with "Irregardless..."
It's not a goddamn word! Sweet baby Jebus, I'm mad now.
Faps_McTickle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, ...
ThePrevailer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God dammit"
8rekab7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What is a phrase that makes you instantly dislike someone strongly?"
Susan_Werner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I think I threw up a little in my mouth." Please stop saying it or writing it in a comment section.
StankWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funderful
garysnailz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, it's going!". - after asking "How's it going?"
sik_dik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it's just a theory"
idratherkissawookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Does that make sense?"
anywayplus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the way we've always done it...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swag
IBitchSLAPYourASS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh I offended you? I'm an asshole! It's what I do!!"
Yeah that's probably why no one wants to hang out with you and you're stuck bitchin on FB "When you real to everyone but when you want to hang no one is real to u."
jesuswantsbrains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything along the lines of "calm down bro I was just joking, no need to go overboard" after reacting to a thinly veiled insult or ill humored put down with a joke.
waltjrimmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who does computer speak out loud. When I'm talking to someone and instead of laughing, they say "lol" either saying the letters or pronouncing it as a word, it grinds my gourd like nothing else can. IRL, IDK, BRB and other initialisms or shortening of words that should only be done in text or writing instead verbalized of any kind, it makes me think that they're the kind of people that don't actually know of the world outside of their phone/computer.
AmazingKreiderman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every Thursday a co-worker used to say, "Happy Friday eve!"
zippyzanni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is," usually in a context where the listener is getting screwed royally by the speaker, who pretends there's nothing to be done.
9378West ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Boss or Hey Boss Man or any variation of Boss.
Especially when the person saying this to me is my age or older.
Gets me fuming.
Ti3fen3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fiat money"
markko79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day"
UbuntuReddito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What had happened was"
Bootycarl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Excuse you."
I2ecover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like mayonnaise.
dmayer1134 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh, i guess i've never really had a problem with allergies
stemanuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who add .com to an adjective to make an amusingly profound statement. For example bored.com. Same thing has recently been happening with the word hashtag. Some little fucking retard I work with, and I'm guessing most people born after 2000 think that this symbol # is a hashtag, it's not, it's a fucking hash you spastic.
AlexanderAF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hashtag this, hashtag that"
Spectating110 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Say when" to stop.
AuntJemimaMaple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mercola says...
notevil22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cut to the chase
duskykmh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using rape as if it is describes something good.
"NO SCOPE! I raped that bitch..."
facepalm
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Remember the 6 gorillion, goyim!"
fractalJester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Less a phrase and more the state of mind that certain things "just aren't done." Why? "They just aren't." That's not a reason. That's cyclical and pointless. "Look, this is just the way we do things--" WHY. WHYYYY WHY WHY WHY.
I never did understand why you're not supposed to put your elbows on the table. Chewing with your mouth open is gross, sure, but come on...
I_can_pun_anything ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dank memes
You the real MVP
polakbob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"You should do this. I'm a x."
When a patient's family member interrupts an exam to tell me they work in the medical field. I like a good, engaged family, but I really don't care how many years you worked as a receptionist at a clinic or as a transcriptionist or as a nurse or whatever. I just want to take care of the sick person in the room. You slow down the exam, break the rhythm, and inevitably end up being the person who drills me about how I'm going to address that sbp of 135 before it kills your loved one.
"I know how bad x is. I have y that's required 3 surgeries! I'm basically a celebrity patient at the hospital."
Close 2nd place to the person who reminds me throughout my exam about their medical issues... when someone else in the room is the patient. Your family member / friend is sick enough to be in the hospital. Let's not make it about you for a minute or 2, hoss.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SillySafetyGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's how we've always done it" "It won't make a difference" "Who cares"
I get these all the time at work (paramedic) and they are exactly the wrong attitude. Nothing we do is benign and everything you do should have a reason you're doing it and everything you aren't doing should have a reason you aren't.
HighQualityUsername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a taurus
linkenski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any type of meme imitation makes me cringe.
relevant context Other person: "Hah, gaaaayyyy!"
or something else. I just hate when attempts at humor gets taken from something else you didn't come up with.
robhaswell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome. It never is.
kerred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So how would you like to make a little extra money on the side? Without following up with it will cost you nothing
bigtrent1231 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Good shit bruh"
creeponcreepin24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Blah blah blah" .. "please and thank you"
When said at the same time, both gestures are meaningless. It's something people say when they realize that they are being rude and want to save face.
MollieBee3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when someone says to me "don't worry about it". no matter how you mean it, all it says to me is that you think you're above me.
J-DillaChangedMyLife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sucks to suck
piccolo_beast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry." "No you're not" -.- bitch you don't know how I'm feeling...
TheZombieFromWork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How do you like THEM apples?"
tommygunz007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will pray 3 times a day.
Alexanderbander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Normie." Like doing anything that a majority in society does makes you some inherently bland and boring individual who just follows society and everything that it tries to impose upon you.
I recently got an iPhone after being a long time Android user and I was called a "Normie" by a friend. It's literally a cell phone.
The_Punicorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not an expert, but...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sucks to be you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but when someone calls me 'chief'.
"Hey, thanks, Chief."
mendog2112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything indicating that they believe white privilege is a real thing.
Goatmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only good snake is a dead snake
Chezler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LITERALLY not a phrase, but I LITERALLY can't take you seriously if you say "LITERALLY" LITERALLY all the time.
I remember in school maybe 4th or 5th grade when the word caught on briefly, but thankfully it never took hold. Now you can't go anywhere near young women without hearing LITERALLY sprinkled in every other sentence.
ILVIPimpulse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hail Hitler" Yea stay away from these types...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"you wouldn't understand, you don't have kids"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Carpe diem"
Fuck off!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Skip dinner, wake up thinner" - my Ex.
mohavewolfpup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Supply and Demand"
"Cost Of Business"
HOLIDAY_headcase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Trigger" or "My Pronouns"
Tainen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any time someone quotes themselves.
Airwaves_N_Loverays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a vegan btw
Tommyboy420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old boss used to say "You know what it is. ..is, " then mind numbing verbal vomit. That and bae, on fleek, and my new personal favorite that all the intelligent people at my work say after everything they say, facts (sounds like fax).
NoveltyCoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Basically"
Basically basic basically?!?! There's no need to say that shit before you explain something.
julianckent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate talking behind people's back but..."
ScottishBurrito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
C***
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey, whats up"
"The sky"
Llim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Build a bridge and get over it"
"You get what you get and you don't get upset"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am moving to colorado." Fuck off.
tokeytoketoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So I was bangin' this girl the other day and..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any variation of, "The Bible says...."
kwjohnson12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine as well
ComputahMassage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like like like like like
AssistantManagerMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
chickensandwicher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less"
ChrisM778 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Drunk driving isn't bad if you're good at drunk driving."
DiablosKotA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Its not feminism, it's equalism"
That or anything about "meninism"
KaizerFuckingGibby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO"
KilowogTrout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, surprised that I couldn't find any mentions of Type A people.
The A stands for asshole.
metalhose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be honest with you"
OrangeW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"yh"
AmEngineerCanConfirm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I think I just wanna go back to the hotel and rest."
Well were on vacation but yeah lets just go lay down and watch TV....
B_Good2All ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
Infuriating. Because I believe I can change any current situation I am in if I do not like it. This statement means "oh well you can't do anything about it" which drives me insane.
mouthyhousewife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any time someone says prego or preggers when referring to a pregnancy.
apprentice_talbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo! - Fuck that
PreemptiveShaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have two:
1) Anyone who responds to a common salutation such as " how are you" with "I'm blessed"
2) Everyone who uses the phrase "Everything happens for a reason"
Astronom3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a Christian..."
rush3n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I will ping you later."
Almost exclusively heard from IT sales guys trying to sound like what they think IT guys sound like.
noahvmiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when someone tells me I am mentally ill or that I have "issues."
NoonRagaEquation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't worry about it". I'm usually not worried about anything in the first place.
Problex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not.....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The majority of everyone is stupid" or "people are stupid".
Ugh
mheinzelman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hay is for horses!
ajl287 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep Calm ____ On
Raccoongrin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most people who use the phrase "I deserve..."
conscience_void ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"just saying..."
AFK_for_a_while ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's just stay friends!
yanox00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya Know.
Friscocrisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using female as a proper noun.
"Conversate"
"What not"
thunderous_pr0phet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I literally can't."
TheBeerChasers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Brah" or "Bro" if they're not obviously making fun of people who say those.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like Donald Trump because he's not a politician and has a lot of money"
Oh, and "he just tells it like it is"
No, he doesn't. You're probably just a racist.
EctoBurger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
at work:
"working hard or hardly working?"
"another day another dollar"
"another day in paradise"
FumbleMyEndzone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can we be pacific about this?"
"We need to know pacifically what they want"
A whole office use this at my work. I feel myself filling with rage in every meeting
Raz0rLight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm trying to illustrate a point, and someone nitpicks at unrelated parts, and I never get to make the argument I intended. Instead I'm stuck in an unrelated argument on the correct time and place to use where, and when to use whence.
ElJacob0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense but..."
I'm gonna offend you/someone
5ave_Ferris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love the Big Bang Theory show!"
Ghost_Squid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have left a party half way through when one of the guests responded to a story about shitty traffic with, "That shit is so gay". Yeah I don't talk to her anymore.
LimmerickGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
TheMuslimBillOreilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say they were born in the wrong era
greasyScrotum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its easier to ask for forgiveness than permission..
Once ok, but if u do the same damn thing over and over youre just a twat.
ancapistannerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
jet fuel can't melt steelbeams
Roo_Gryphon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
anyone who uses the words/phrases : yolo, 420, swag etc it makes you sound like an idiot and a doucebag
CobaltCoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO"
bananas_for_everyone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an employer, "I don't know, I just work here."
hjiaicmk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't for Trump to be president
Kradget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Crossfit"
Also, "playing devil's advocate"
But "sheeple" is fucking unforgivable.
TellEmHawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO...sorry I'm late
Master_of_Energy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"at the end of the day..."
Sir_psycho_savior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Directions unclear, stuck dick _______"
sallyscallywag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let's reconvene..."
Why? Because you didn't get the outcome you wanted? And you want us all to drive in rush hour traffic again? To you?
YesYouAreTheBest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say PERIOD real loud, usually after announcing dislike for something. Like, "I am not going on that roller coaster... PERIOD!"
sipes216 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo.
Redpythongoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But the bible says...."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I could care less. '
Saying this implies that there is some interest. Instead why not use 'I couldnt care less'
this suggests that you have ran out of fucks to give and is grammatically correct when used alongside the implication
Sycrane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool beans. Ugh.
tak_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So true."
BotoxGod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CBF or I can't be fucked. My friends are in this generation, so they use their phone a lot, can't fucked to talk, can't be fucked to look up a fact.
Legit pisses me off, they want to play their games but can't be fucked to play mine. If you are talking to a teenager, and ask them a small favour and they don't respect you, this is the answer you get.
Beantownfan73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you tell someone something or just state something with no question and the person starts off with "Actually"
I fucking hate that shit...to me it implies that they are better than me or anyone, that they know more about the subject matter.
Culinarytracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you're just wrong. Happens to me all the time.
Beantownfan73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True...I guess it's the way they say it, all snooty like lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What, "I'm a feminist" is not the top comment? What's up with Reddit?!
Teal_Thanatos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything with 'otherKin' used to describe their being. Any use of furries.
Any use of Trigger without having PTSD. If you're saying discussions of things that are making you uncomfortable are 'triggering' then I don't want to know such a close minded shallow piece of horribleness.
prepares for downvotes
denimdr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We need to bring Bush II back."
picassyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when someone is being complimented and instead of just saying "thank you", they have to say something like "OMG NO YOU'RE PERF", "that's you omg heart eyes emoji", or "YOU'RE LITERALLY PERFECTION"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look I'm not at all racist/sexist but...
MorningMaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I give zero fucks." Not just the phrase, but the attitude.
So if I just piss on your shoes, and take your wallet, something tells me you'll give a fuck about that.
bazbierk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'That begs the question...'
QPILLOWCASE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'That's bonkers'
I fucking hate that word
PogoConspiracy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hoodrat shit."
squirrel93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I axt <sp> you a question?" Or "I ex-specially like the red dress."
vicebanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ve-hick-le
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like all types of music except for maybe rap and country.
ukulelej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who refers to their friend group as "squad". Also people that actually say "kappa" in public rather that using actual sarcasm.
drcadlo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kappa
ukulelej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's fine if you are on the Internet. But to take it outside makes my blood boil. Now that I think about it, the phrase "makes my blood boil" probably pisses somebody off.
Shihana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just a ______" referring to animal, as if they're automatons and don't have feelings. Nothing pisses me off more than a total lack of empathy towards other species. They're living things too, even if they don't feel things on our level, they still do.
incuspy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"as if!" as an exclamation
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any marketing buzzwords/phrases my "favorite" one being in a collage advertisement assembly hearing one of the people say "you can do call of duty style brick laying"
sswitch404 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says 'anyways' rather than 'anyway.' Not sure why that one bothers me, but any time I hear anyone say it, I automatically think they are an idiot.
TheSupersmurf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a phrase, but when people say the word groceries ( and pronounce it หgrลs-rฤs) it makes me want to go deaf and bite my tongue.
chatzi09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
GoodAtExplaining ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote about that on my mommyblog.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime anyone says "deez nuts" I want to rip off their head and shit down their neck.
impulse-9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
I know right.
Smh.
RoosterBones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score"
People disgust me.
three20three ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says "ha-lar-e-ous" or drags it out like "hilarrrriiiiooouuusss". Ugh.
Moxxuren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Give me all your money."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just saying."
December_Mist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't work to hard!" To hard? So slack off at my job and then get fired?? I don't get this phrase but yet I get it every morning from my mother in law before I head out the door!!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..."
420noscopes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"bb"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I listen to all kinds of music! (Proceeds to name top 40 artists)
doutone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like to read.
thephantomfountain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist...but - "
ArkeryStarkery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Men and females"
Culinarytracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this common?
NiceUsernameBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trust Me
Rizzo_The_Conqueror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime I hear the word "YOLO", I run the risk of a brain aneurysm
TheErection ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brain cells go through apoptosis whenever someone says "on fleek".
mermaids_singing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"on fleek" STHU
vixxxles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I live where you vacation!" That doesn't make you special. Just basic.
cocotheegg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know.
alexxx12345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Food for thought
GreggyGranola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just being sarcastic, take it easy.
...I really don't like you.
blackoutHalitosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:23 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Edgy".
helloimskippy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word 'whatnot'
Kevtotheoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Literally Hitler"
Yes, disagreeing with someone on the Internet is pretty much equal to murdering 6 million Jews and starting a world war.
MorningMaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When anyone's first listed hobby on a dating profile is "I love watching Netflix," I'm annoyed by their vagueness.
If you love their original programming, ok, that's cool. I get it, if that's what you mean. House of Cards, Daredevil, good shows.
But Netflix has nearly every non-porn genre imaginable. That tells me nothing about who you are.
Vegesus44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I used to be vegetarian..."
Humankeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When ever I hear a woman say "no good men are left". I simply assume it's that non of the good men want that particular woman for some reason and to stay away from her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using the word trope.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mad bro?
JSquire23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What. The actual. Fuck." It's like nails on a chalk board to me.
jld718 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm voting for Trump
herhusk33t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Swag"
grimache83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Happy Friday!
igenus44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yolo
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Before I even meet them, if someone says, "you'll LOVE them!". I'll be the fucking judge of that.
sampls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just me!"
well who the fuck else are you gonna be?
Dannyish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you believe in miracles? Let me tell you about this one time..."
Soahtree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I would love to see Donald Trump become president of the USA."
katkatmoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My eyebrows on FLEEK" fuck off
rvillazon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO" "Turnt up/Turn up" "Bae" etc.
Culinarytracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wtf is bae?
rvillazon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's what I said when I first heard it. It's another word like "boo" or "babe". Apparently it stands for "before all/anything else."
Example: "He is bae." (That is the way the term is used most often. It's extremely annoying.)
Culinarytracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
According to Google, it's the Danish word for "poop".
rvillazon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:07 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's "bรฆ".
dawgs63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Some of my best friends are black!"
kaydpea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
git 'r' done!
Faquir15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory front page edit!!
CutePuppyDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How do you expect to get to heaven if you don't go to church?" Hairstylist with very sharp scissors at my head said this to me.
IHateYouTexans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL or LOLed when they clearly didn't.
vississitant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"legitly"
Lolmoqz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Rock is just random noise"
knorc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Carpe Diem
dubu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Live, Laugh, Love <3
Aqualighter88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sup"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have an employee that randomly stops working to spout crap and the main contents of his verbal shit storm is 'Do you know what I mean?' and 'Are you with me?'
Yes. Yes I do know what you mean but as you are a bigoted arse, I am not 'with you'. Shut the fuck up and get back to work.
Deaf_Chef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Misusing 'begs the question'. It does not mean 'elicit the question' but 'beg for questioning'; literally, to make another question beg to be asked.
It's such a useful and interesting phrase, when used correctly!
Culinarytracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To beg a question means to assume the conclusion of an argument--a type of circular reasoning. This is an informal fallacy, where someone includes the conclusion they are attempting to prove in the initial premise of their argument--often in an indirect way that conceals it."
Cyganus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Alright fella"
invaderzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep calm and YOLO!"
spike808 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word "utilize". 100% of the time it is interchangeable with the word use and is there simply to make the speaker sound smarter.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
This statement came into being rather recently. It's become pretty popular (though seems to be dying off recently thank god)
It drives me absolutely nuts. Like actually pisses me off it just annoys me so much. Dumbest most redundant saying ever.
tbone711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, it's the way she goes
Meth_Tical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right, "I don't care, it is what it is" is the proper phrase.
senor_sota ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What kind of music do you listen to?" Not a phrase really but it annoys the shit out of me.
THX1138Woody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's Gods will.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Culinarytracker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
....fuck off?
Jimp0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
saying that "Y'all" isn't a word.
Big_Daddy_PDX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But that's not fair!"
mandawyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm reaaaallly mature."
pemibo83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Post to be" instead of supposed to be. Like the God awful song that still played on the radio all the time.
unclemusclzhour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am being triggered" shut up. Just shut up and be offended somewhere else
Ratiphex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Know what I'm sayin'?" or "Know what I mean?" when used at the end of every sentence.
wrongshirt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What he/she doesn't know does not hurt them" or the correct equivalent in proper English.
esthershair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
rubensinclair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The moment someone says, "...very much..." I can't explain it. Something really fucking irks me.
portucalense ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit?
haonowshaokao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is "SJW" a phrase?
Culinarytracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, they're just intolerable people.
fryeguy52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO"
captainnoway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but... (racist comment)"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a problem with blacks/gays/women/fat people but..."
lightergnome28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally. Also, Epic.
AcidicOpulence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Inserting "like" at seeming random intervals in a sentence.
I wait the appropriate amount of time, then walk the fuck away.
Im1Guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Does that make sense?"
It's usually someone really really dumb that says it.
potatodavid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I SEEN IT!"
just go away.
NWA_ref ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is..."
WTF does that even mean? You've offered nothing to expand on the conversation or thought. I guess it means you're given up and have no answers.
Culinarytracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, that's what it means.
SexyMuffin23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
___ on fleek.
novastarwind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but the word "irregardless" drives me nuts.
kinjinsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"orientated" and "documentated".
PotsyWife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I live (East Anglia U.K) people have a habit of saying "I done this" instead of "I did this". It makes me want to punch them repeatedly in the face. I have just realised how petty that is. But it still makes me want to punch people.
SmileyCharlie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Life is a game or school is a game
I get so frustrated when people tell me this
DamascusRose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'i find those worldviews to be very problematic'
joeshoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't get all butthurt." I really don't like that word. So if you say that to me I'm only getting angrier.
AlienatedLabor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Morality is subjective."
Hitchd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling me "buddy"
Culinarytracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not your "buddy" guy!
extramenace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ending a business email with 'Please advise.'.
That alone should get you a one-way ticket to Guantanamo where you have to explain yourself in front of a military tribunal...
kinjinsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but sometimes "Please advise" is professionally preferable to "You sent me a load of incomprehensible shit. What the fuck am I supposed to do with it you half-witted imbecile???"
TylerTheSandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love minions"
ClarkTheShark94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but....
primal4life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i'm just being honest!
I just tell it like it is!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"bro!" or "hey bro (attempts arbitrary fist bump)
PeteNoKnownLastName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless...
MineWiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OMG, that thing is BAE! Squad goals, amirite?
xXBassMasterXx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We're gonna be best friends!" No. No we're not.
banjohusky95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"pot called the kettle black"
Fuck you. Fuck anyone who uses this phrase.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Guns are bad"
hugaw1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
please like my profile pic. shrugs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The patriot act makes us safer"
visionofacheezburger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist but..."
cbtrn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not for nothin'... "
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Patriarchy
every person I've ever heard say this non ironically has given me a lecture about how sexist I am at some point for doing something polite
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything Ontario hockey boys say.
Gunna go smoke some darts and tie one on.
That girl is a real gem buds. And so on and so on.
thegirlwhoappeared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist/sexist/other but..." And then they go and say something that totally counteracts that. Goes hand in hand with "No offence but..."
mindscrambler26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but I like to eat soft pretzels
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm voting for Hilary Clinton"
mindscrambler26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anyone who doesn't, hates women
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahahhahahahahhhaa. I'm taking this sarcastically because I might have to commit seppuku if you're serious.
mindscrambler26 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:21:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, please don't commit sudoku, I'm not good at those puzzles
sethizzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score"
I assume you're the worst kind of person.
MrMarblesTI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
You're not saying anything! I already know x = x
DumbleDwarfJr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, I have a (insert race that they've just offended) friend.
jinxjar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IRREGARDLESS ...
rideaspiral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"myriad of"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I got so much swag"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love Dr. Zoidberg"
Xsable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that follows meh...
I just use it as a red flag for someone who isn't worth listening to.
DrRocknRolla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not one of those psychotic ex girlfriends." - my psychotic ex girlfriend.
trexxed23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This."
bribri_22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amazeballs
Steelfox13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae or baby daddy.
You can go die in a tire fire.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Come with", as in "want to come with?" Just finish the goddamn sentence and say "me/you" etc.
hapag_lloyd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm mad, me"
GravityUnicorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sucks to suck!"
Thanks you piece of shit.
Dwill1980 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dat (insert anything here) tho.
r_jimmies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On point ๐"
GoodTimesBrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please and thank you...
PoopTransplant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Methinks.
sporabolic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"that's just how I am " when referring to a negative personality trait. No, asshole, you just refuse to take the steps towards changing and blame your asshole-ish ways on "that's just how I am"
Lucky8Ball8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I dropped out of high school to become a rapper."
Cryptic0677 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hella
EMRmania ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God Bless America!
Twiny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Republican Presidential candidate.'
ergopeter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone is beautiful or any other fat acceptance bullshit.
I know that there are may overweight people on reddit, but I don't care about the upvotes
Maddkipz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh. Fat is not a body type. Don't feel too bad.
igoogletoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO"
madasser03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's 10000 comments deep but "forever alone".
eklect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you even lift?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
telling someone how old i am and them responding "i thought you were 16" lol. like you can keep that to yourself also pointing out someone is quiet cause thats just rude
MithrandirLogic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let go and let god
ir0bot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hater's gunna hate."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Does somebody have the case of the Mondays?"
Bitch I got a case with a gun inside if you wanna get popped
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Maddkipz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say it ironically now, because I hated people who said it. But lately it's just a part of my vocab.
Dvncanh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At an archery range:
'Fire at will' 'Lol where's Will ahahaha bet you've never heard that one'
brewtown138 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'AS WELL' OMFG! you wordy scrub just say also ... I'll have that also....
MattTill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After being a charity worker it has to be
"I do my bit!"
ratmfreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"AM I BEING DETAINED?!
doesntlikeshoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist/sexist/homophobic, BUT..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love God", " God is number one", "God first", or any general variation.
Myths and religions are so 2000 years ago. They cause by far the most death and war in our human history. All without any shed of evidence.
No, prayer didn't cure X, medicine cured X.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says internet acronyms in real life "LOL" "LMAO" "OMG" like speaking isn't hard holy shit
elcazadordepoonani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"don't put off for tomorrow what you could do today." Ooooor schedule your time appropriately and then you can distribute the workload evenly throughout the week. Some people are convinced that everything has to be done that particular day, even when it will make absolutely no difference to anyone if it is done tomorrow.
bobby8u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
worldstar
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a...
kvaltx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You are so blessed!" when they meet my child or find out I'm pregnant. Uuuugh.
PenIslandTours ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm discussing something important with someone and they respond with, "That's your truth."
zarfytezz1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You do the crime you do the time!!!"
Usually rattled off without thinking when you make the mistake of trying to have an intelligent conversation about justice reform with an idiot.
maleia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a bitch, I just speak my mind."
Or something like that.
colouringofpigeons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have christian values
xxpoprocksxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black lives matter.
Huko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just being me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know a lot about wine"
frozenfire89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Saying "YOLO" about everything.
-_-
Edit: Have to add. Anyone who says "schizophrenic" when they mean dissociative identity disorder (multiple personality disorder). These are two very different things. Look it up.
Edit 2: anyone who swears with "cancer", or kanker, which is a thing in Dutch.
rmtobin01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't believe anyone would ever choose to live in (insert city we both live in)"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Summer Reddit"
"No true Scotsman"
And most other Reddit phrases make me hate all of you ;)
space_ape71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God doesn't give you more than you can handle." Not helpful.
Sweetymoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can drive and text with no problem." If you do this, you're an asshOle.
5whatever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but...
questionable_pinaple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO!!! SWAG!!!
I hear somebody say either of those, I walk away.
iamaneviltaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who brag about not being able to boil water. What the fuck, you need food to survive. How the hell can you not master simple shit like grilled cheese and pasta?
I also can't stand "food is fuel" people, who just eat the same like 4 things (I'm looking at you, ramen) because eating's some huge chore.
Crayform ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Jus sayin'" or any radio commercials that use 'hip lingo'.
MpATRICIUS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say "otay" instead of "okay"
CurrentSensorStatus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That being said."
The only people I've met that said that were idiots.
Flylikeabirdie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I was so proud of myself". I struggle to find the exact reason why it sets me off. Just seems sort of smug.
Madfall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Those people."
Sweetymoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Last night on Fox news..." "I watch the Kardashians."
permanent_throwaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less."
You could? How much? I was under the impression you didn't care at all, so it's good to know you care some.
ItsMrMark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guesstimate... it's either one or the other you son of a bitch.
PhilUpTheCup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "Oh I was born bad at XYZ (usually academic)"
For example, "I was born bad at math"
TL;DR: Admit that you're not good at something rather than making excuses. None of us can be good at everything, AND THATS OK.
The reason I hate this so much is because it is both the most selfish and self-involved statement I can think of, and also just so untrue, and anyone who takes pride in that field should be offended by this statement.
Believe it or not, humans were not born knowing how to do a lot of the things we study in school or learn in our daily jobs. When someone says this statement this is the kind of picture I get, (using this example of math)
"Legend has it that as PhilUpTheCup was taken from his mothers womb, he was unexpectedly followed by a graphing calculator and a sheet he wrote of all the trigonometric identities!"
No. None of us were "born good at math", however we are all different and enjoy different things. John Doe might LOVE math and thats great for him! He'll probably study it really hard and get good at it. Sally might not enjoy math, and so she doesn't study it and falls behind, AND THATS ALSO OK. But it's not ok to say "oh he was just born better than me".
If I'm John Doe in this case I would be offended. So you mean that me being better than you at math has nothing to do with how hard I worked to get good?! You think it was just chance?
Sally probably loves a lot of things that John doesn't, and is probably better at those things. AND THATS OK.
People should just suck it up and admit that they're bad at certain things because they didn't put work into it, AND THATS OK.
This explanation is much shorter. You really think that someone, something, cares SO much about you that they went OUT OF THEIR WAY just to make YOU bad at XYZ?! I know it may not seem self-centered because you assume a negative trait, but the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. The universe did not go out of its way to say "hey fuck you Sally I'm gonna make YOU bad at math mwahaha" It probably didn't give a single fuck when making you because let's face it none of us are really special. There are 7 billion people in the world and you think that whoever/whatever makes us has time to go out of it's way just to make YOU bad at XYZ.
(Don't take this 100% literally) They say that no two snowflakes are ever identical, just as no two humans are. However, I doubt that whatever makes the snowflakes spends more time on certain snowflakes and less time on others. Stop thinking that you're that special snowflake even if you think you're an especially ugly one. Get over yourself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Uhh, let me be clear" or "Because you see."
Kriket308 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"(S)he disrespected me."
It's not technically incorrect, I just hate the word "disrespect" used as a verb. Why? I have no idea. It just gets under my skin.
MorrisseysRubiksCube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be perfectly honest with you..."
RonaldJosephBurgundy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Somebody's got a case of the Mondays." http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Case-of-the-Mondays-Office-Space.gif
leylose2308 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you Muslim. Are u a terrorist?
Cycloptishred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not exactly a phrase but I become irrationally judgmental when I see people share Buzzfeed articles.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"(Insert word)- gate" to describe any sort of scandal.
Watergate was the name of the fucking hotel! The scandal wasn't called Watergategate
Stiegurt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, my name is Donald Trump."
Drakkanrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "Eckspecially" or native English speakers who say "For what" when they mean "Why."
themzy34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry I dont eat that, I'm a Vegan/Vegetarian"
Fuck you buddy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bye Felicia!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LPT: yada yada yada
jdgemm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just sayin..."
utzlutz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's gucci."
picturepages ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
Mightymushroom1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: punctuation.
dotseth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
any talking point from the mainstream media.
countofmoldycrisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not my fault."
It's usually their fault.
ayamazaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I already knew about that from Reddit! " gets me every time.
Horse625 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The thing is is..."
DrSuviel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Dating profiles that unironically start with "I am just your average _____," or even worse, "I'm NOT your average _____." The latter is actually just the less self-aware version of the former.
cwcannon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless...
Poopymcfart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If 1 word can be considered a phrase it's a tie between "supposably" and "libary".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason.
Bawpo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not so much instantly dislike as instantly annoyed, but when a person says, "Oh that happened on accident."
I just respond, "Are you sure it wasn't by purpose?"
It gets me a bit annoyed right now as I hear it in my head.
SamusBaratheon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any use of the term "sheeple"
xuxulala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I see parents doing the counting thing '1... 2... 2 1/2' as a threat. Because they NEVER follow through with the threat!
angrypunishment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry not sorry. I'll stop talking to that person immediately
emmieb123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't mean to sound rude but.." "No offence.."
namocram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm (fill in the blank)". Funny, smart, or nice- these are things OTHER people can say about you; you shouldn't be saying them about yourself. I usually find the opposite to be true, by the way. For example, "I'm funny" equals painfully unfunny.
PASTYFACE1X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work with a kid fresh out of high school at Dominos who said "I'm hip" constantly. Me and my boss wanted to smack the fuck out of him every time he said it
DudeIWantThat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Um...excuse you. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
fistnugget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
totes mcgoats
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dats racis'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"GMOs/MSG/gluten/vaccines are bad." Really any pseudoscience bullshit. No excuse
uphillemu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's not my job."
Webbtastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they say irredardless. Grrrre
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't like animals"
Honestly I've heard this said a few times in my life, by different people, and it just makes no sense to me. There is not ONE animal that you like???
kerouaciness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Heart of hearts". I know it's Shakespeare, I like Shakespeare but I generally don't like people who use that phrase. It smacks of disingenuousness.
smallpond22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I cannot stand it when out for dinner someone inevitably (if you are in a bad crowd) says "Everyone gets a more quiet when the food is here."
conversationhearts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Supposably" being used in context where it is not able to be accurately swapped with the word "conceivably."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not prejudiced, but...
CleanBill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My top 3 in this cathegory:
"I'm a very deep/sensitive person" <-- These people tend to be very shallow and empty people
"I have an IQ of <insert here some wacky number over 125>" <-- Should be obvious why. Usually adding "this is why I have so many problems socializing/studying because I'm not motivated".
"EVERYBODY has been mean to me my whole life (includes family, friends, work acquaintances)" <-- Despite portraying themselves as the victims, they are usually the aggresors to everyone else
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bae
karmakami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason"
Poopymcfart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's a paradigm shift." Fuck you you 1995 self help book reader.
Cyrakrin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It seems more and more people are using the phrase "that's comical." A girl I dated used to use that phrase for everything. Annoying.
Also people using AF as an abbreviation for as fuck. Got drunk AF last night. My blacklist grows every day.
justanegalitarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a devout Christian."
itsamefas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm quirky"
teaching-man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but......."
Yes you are.
bumjiggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
any vague, distressed sounding facebook status with no context.
and who ever posted it gets mad when people ask.
wtf did I make popcorn?
27clubhereicome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa you're a small guy!/You look young for your age.
Narwhalbaconguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve my best."
That translates to...
"I'm a bitch, and I'm gonna treat you like one!"
empireoflight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-Not so much -This is true -No can do -Gotta love it
SeaM00se ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Must be nice.
Sarlak34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come on Dude, it's just a game!
redneck_asshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says "derp" anywhere other than the internet.
Youre-In-Trouble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a taxpayer..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I just believe that everything happens for a reason, you know?"
Look, believe what you want to believe, but whenever I hear that shit, it's always some rich white girl with a very easy life. It's something they believe not because they critically thought about it and came to that conclusion; they just heard it, thought it sounded nice, and decided they believe it.
Sure it's easy to believe that everything happens for a reason when the biggest adversity you've faced in life is your parents getting divorced and then in the end everything turned out for the best, but try telling an African child soldier getting raped by a bayonet that it's happening for a reason.
It's an empty statement anyway. Yeah everything happens for a reason, that reason being whatever caused it to occur. That doesn't mean it happened for a good reason or that it's for the best.
red_flute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"own it"
misanthrope96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Scripture says"
Or "my savior Jesus is Lord"
Or "Obama is a great president".
When I hear any of those 3, I know I'm dealing with a retard
vickster339 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear ya...
btchappy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "I just wanted to 'touch base'..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's on and poppin'.
Off the chain.
When people use the word "crucial" to describe something that isn't crucial to anything.
Irregardless.
alexeye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In an email Thanks in advance! instantly directs you to fuckoffville in my book.
Tofubrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
..." You ALWAYS do that..." Yeah like I'm that predicable cunt.
laserkossan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but.."
tjkruse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Quote, unquote..."
ElKaBongX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone tacks on "...and things of that nature" I instant assume they have no idea what they're talking about
ILikeLudwigDrums ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm country!"
__RustyShackleford_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same difference
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"im not (phobia/racism here), but..."
example: "im not homophobic, but i feel as gays shouldn't be allowed in the same dressing room as str8 men. You don't allow men into the woman's dressing room."
leapyearmanchild96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"They do the jobs nobody wants to do"
unknown1321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a phrase but anyone who texts "lik dis"
Flanyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im voting for Hillary or Bernie sanders
lookbelow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm voting for Donald Trump.
aamfs94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense"
Ugh, this doesn't negate the offense of what you're saying. If you're going to say something critical or outspoken then at least stand by it instead of trying to mitigate it you prick.
Nurse2458543 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do as I say not as I do"
TheSlytherinPrincess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using the phrase "As it were", if you aren't a pirate or from a Renaissance Faire.
Just irks me.
JosueVerde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
toxins
taco_cop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not so much as a phase, but anything spoken in baby talk by an adult.
studlydud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't let your dreams be dreams" usually followed by other redditors quoting the rest of that godawful video.
WeberO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same Difference"
What difference!? What is the same difference!?
th3nambl3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy with the last name "Anderson," people saying hello by simply saying "Mr. Anderson..."
It's like they're the only person to have seen the Matrix.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason." or "God has a plan."
TheGreenArr0w ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"No offence" before offending someone
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No good deed goes unpunished.
I instantly loathe and detest anyone who says it. It is the sign of a self proclaimed martyr of low character.
theBozzMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wanderlust.
Rex_Rexroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless.
Just no.
queenniggula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who calls their family "fam bam".
Sneakerlambs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahahahaha what
moisesv909 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yasss" I know it is not a phrase but that word just drives me crazy.
Shaysowder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know right?!?!"
My kids say this all the time and I fucking cringe every time.
ChromeLoL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Is this real life?"
Kuntzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm an old soul"
quantumshenanigans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm spiritual but not religious."
Might as well say "Eastern belief systems appeal to me in a vague sort of way, but I'm too lazy to legitimately practice them."
Anon_Logic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one might just be me.
But anyone named Christopher that goes by the name Topher.
Go by Chris you pretentious fuckwad. (Although so far, I haven't met a "Topher" that wasn't a total douche so maybe it's a nice warning sign? Still bugs me.)
GrayInferno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Deez Nuts..
collinzoober5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could care less. Oh could you?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who gets pissed off at people who say "As a _____...".
frozenfire89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you criticise someone for something and they respond with:
"Well, that's your reality."
anything-for-a-buck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I borrow this?" "No. ... lol sure go ahead"
mattdan79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At work "are we having fun yet". No I just got in haven't had my coffee leave me alone!
Is_adored ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if they just really like Party Down?
poepower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"redonkulous"
I_am_pyxidis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Quit using straw-man arguments." I see this all over the internet all of a sudden, and I have seen ZERO people use it correctly. Just because you don't agree with someone doesn't mean they are using a straw-man argument. That phrase refers to a very specific logical fallacy and not to every illogical argument.
Tajackamo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I lost it at/when..."
But then again, exaggerations in general irk me.
chrispmorgan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...and whatnot.
5h1t_L0rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When she says the "f" word.
Feminism.
BUKKAKE_BUKKAKE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Show me your cunt."
Last_LightLoL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "Oh Gosh" to something thats OBVIOUSLY BAD... Just say "Oh Chucklefucking Cuntflaps" It sounds way better than "Oh Gosh..."
elker123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i work in the oil industry"
IAccountForMyAccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using "might could" in a sentence... it is a rural oklahoma thing, and it bothers me to no end!
Lorde_of_the_pies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but...
Celriot1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apples to oranges.
BITCH THAT PHRASE DONT MAKE NO SENSE WHY CANT FRUIT BE COMPARED.
ApplePickinSolarBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what I'm sayin'
Novickk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When parents or any other adult says "do as I say not as I do."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Reverse-racism doesn't exist"
Krakenzmama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yadda yadda whatnot" used like "Long story short."
My sister in law did this all the time and all I could think is "Boring boring bullshit"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
d
What does that mean???
MediocrityUno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll "ping" you later
higgtree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO!!!!!"
Mr_Resistor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know a gal that will rattle on about little or nothing and end every story with "just sayin'". Ugh! I hate listening to her or reading her texts/posts/etc
DinaDinaDinaBatman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anything following and inclucing the words "as a vegan, I believe ......."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'at the end of the day...'
MrSwearwell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Chinese whispers" - I'm Chinese.
canarob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"... but that's just how I was raised."
fritter_rabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
Chasin_Dreamz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Having a monday"
sryguys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totes mcgotes.
AntHalliday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go hard or go home.
Pizzaholic1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God Bless you
Bigtexashair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My bad. Same difference
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
ataraxic89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anything involving vaccines being bad, gmos being bad, alternative medicine being good, and any absolutist political statement.
Oh, and recently Ive been getting irrationally angry at people who say "Time isnt real, humans invented it".
To which I want to scream "WE MEASURE TIME, WE DIDNT INVENT IT! WE NO MORE INVENTED TIME THAN WE INVENTED DISTANCE!"
HearthShit88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I frequent reddit"
parvicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You have the best job in the company." - FML It's miserable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have to admit....
I don't have to a damn thing!
gcbeehler5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"moist"
Rcpa69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching Fox News and....
SquishPuddin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tig ol bitties.
anytime anyone says that around me I instantly look down upon them.
philthydub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As an American tax payer..." This person is about to be a huge asshole.
SpookyFarts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Nom nom nom"
Jawsh305 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On fleek"
DildoFire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT Phrases that aren't said outside of reddit, online forums or multiplayer video game matches.
JohnnyMnemo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
License and registration, please.
larouqine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes in Canada it seems like the last acceptable bastion of racism is Aboriginal people. When someone says that First Nations/Inuit people are rude or unfriendly, what I hear is, "I acted like a jackass and the other person responded accordingly."
I know that this is a stereotype itself, but every single interaction I've ever had with a First Nations, Inuit, or Mรฉtis person has been exceptionally warm and friendly.
viett_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"In a nutshell.."!!
hashtag_worldstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sentence with " You's "
ULiopleurodon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That guy is so retarded!"
KNURLED-SPHINCTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Comparing Apples to Oranges. Says every sales rep when comparing the same product from a different company.
tocman12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's been a min"
Well if only happened a min ago you should know
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Think if I was Rob Zombie, Sherri and her "total skull" phase woulda irked me
ULiopleurodon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Learn better grammer plz"
pearl8919 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cool beans
MHM5035 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
dancerguyf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fair enough" Just screams, I have nothing to say
defnottrollingyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know this will probably get down voted to hell but....
fanarkanark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On point" My best friend's ex, who I hated, used to say it way too much so now anybody that says it makes me hate them with a firing passion...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything referring to being "thrown under the bus" always irks me :/
Heavy_Flower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
Or
Cool beans.
dan2907 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I just feel like it needs to pop more."
I'm a web designer.
Also, despite the fact I use it myself from time to time, I've developed a mild hatred for "it is what it is". At first I convinced myself I hated it because it's a lazy thing to say... but really it's because it's code for "I don't care, shut the fuck up".
Kintuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hitler was right to kill all gays. All gays deserve to go to hell." My former supervisor and that alone made me despise her strongly.
ANTIROYAL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
Pinstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The Lord has plans for you."
I have my own life thank you, and thank you for clearly letting me know that you aren't going to be part of it.
RawrSean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God bless!"
PrepNeck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything involving the word "synergy"
orange-blossom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My hubby"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're literally triggering me!
ThreeHourRiverMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Evolution is just a theory.
cherubjared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know right!?" Are you just saying that or do you truely need confirmation that you actually know something?
whatdablood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Irregardless". It's a double negative.
Spins77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae...on fleek...all that crap
notquiteotaku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who use the word "irregardless".
codemeister666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"White should stay with white".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'd like to pick your brain" is used a lot in business networking. I just hate the phrase and have refused to meet for coffee if that's how you ask me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Good by inbox!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Now listen" - Barrack Obama
TransgenderPride ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any form of internet speak IRL, especially when it's adults. It's a bit different when it's a 17 year old girl...
I mean seriously, we have 45 year old women on the news talking like "O-M-G I just took a selfie and titled it hashtag..."
Or little kids who run around screaming YOLO at the top of their voice.
HiImJavi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's your sign?" Don't judge me on when I was born
RaoulZDuke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you accepted Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior?
waynebradysworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a feminist"
No motherfucker, you're an idiot
mistahowe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but," "this might seem racist but," followed by racist arguments, denial of the existence of prejudice or anything else to that effect. Same applies to sexism, religious discrimination et al.
It's like you're aware of how racist you are and refuse to do anything about it! At least some folks I've known who have been raised in prejudiced environments can be shown the error of their ways. It's not like they want to be racist/misogynistic assholes. But you: you're not just an asshole, you're a stubborn, lazy asshole - the worst kind of asshole!
vorpike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I rape babies"
ProvenMarine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always vote for the ______________ regardless of who is running.
GaberhamTostito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"News flash!"
eversaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Drinking white/male tears"
Confirmed to not know anything about feminism.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That makes my heart happy."
Your heart doesn't have emotions, dufus. That's your brain. Now go back to church camp and be quiet.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Gucci"
wesleynile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Donald Trump"
surp_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You just believe everything the government tells you". Or anyone who uses the term 'sheeple'. These people get all of their info from sites like spiritscience.org or themindunleashed etc and they're quite simply just idiots
MrKurama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
nelsonmavrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything with Bae
crybaby002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I give 110% every day". No asshole 100% is all you'll ever do. Same with " I'm 1000% sure "
avajesslash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I tell it like it is."
Perpetualflirt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This isn't my first rodeo."
Beneficial2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'black people are different from niggers"
Donjuanme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
rekt. do you mean wrecked? like ops inbox?
Booyahkashah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Could of"
Fucking dolts.
Acidpants220 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Stop being so sensitive."
Dharmadragqueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hello
BlazeBro420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone says the words "zombie apocalypse" it should be legal to drown them in a toilet.
Pendarron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Broken bottles under nรฌno's feet.
aleforsale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This picture totally encompasses my aesthetic."
Fuck you and your constant use of the word aesthetic
n1282h ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...my SUV..." I'll never understand America's fascination with this bloated, lifted, wagons. They don't do anything better than your typical wagon and most don't have any more room than a full-size car. Yet people say it like having one is a status symbol.
brildenlanch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hardly see any SUVs anymore, they've been fading out fast.
moogod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a juggalo."
Kishirno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a girl (on online video games)
Alledillo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really any phrase that's printed on t-shirts at tourist attractions
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO"
TheLineOfSight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they something like "It wasn't even me." I hate them.
M20RH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're fired
sfshia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Am I right or am I right???" No, you were wrong in the first place, you self-righteous asshair.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Having said that...'
'It's all good'.
'Did you find everything you needed?'
wuapinmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have two kids and I just love them to death. Being a parent is hard work."
When asked how old their kids are, they say, "I got Blade Runner when he was a puppy, so he's four, and I got Honey Bun as a stray, so I'm not sure how old she is."
TotalConartist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best"
So basically you're allowed to be a bitch and degrade people without receiving any backlash.
MrjB0ty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'So what do you do in your job?'
'I'm sorry I can't tell you.'
You're not James fucking Bond mate.
MensRea72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Close enough for government work".
Worked with a guy who said this incessantly. Complete asshole thinks-he-knows-it-all.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whites have it great in South Africa.
caseface05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but the word selfie. It really bothers me
missphoenix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Touch base" Every guidance counselor, therapist, and businessperson has started saying this in the last few years and I fucking hate it.
ireadthis2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can i axe you a question
restlessleg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
salt life... fuck u
brildenlanch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't see this until I moved back to Louisiana, now I see it every 30 seconds and I still don't know what it means.
magadag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist/prejudice/sexist/homophobic, but.... [insert racist/prejudice/sexist/homophobic comment]."
Sean951 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's your workflow?". -New Boss
" legitimate rape ". - r/news
GweedoTheGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cisgendered white privilege."
I'm a bisexual man who has long been an active, proud, member of the LGBTQ community. However this phrase is starting to get thrown around a lot, and not just at hetero allies, which is bad enough, but also towards non-trans gay and lesbian folks. The argument is that none of our struggles will ever compare to theirs, and if our support isn't perceived as strong enough, or loud enough, we are not good allies. The very people who are upset at being marginalized are marginalizing their own allies, and in the process are risking alienating many people who love and support them. This madness has got to stop.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if they are serious about using the word "stupid"
FloralMission ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Acrosst" .... either use "crossed" or "across"---acrosst is not a word.
fragiledonotdrop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am the way I am. If you don't like it you can go fuck yourself." How about no?
oxl303 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm such a blonde" or "what do you expect, I'm blonde" as if it were an excuse for blatant stupidity
generic_user_90210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It has that "je ne sais quoi".
stilt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I seen ________"
Ruddiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fam" "Do you Even?" "Fuckboi" "Fire"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was on reddit...
LDJaneDoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dislike bumper stickers, it's not a phrase, but if they aren't clever, I don't appreciate them.
InTheFleshhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Look who I just met reddit" "Best photobomb ever" "Look who I found" " no filter" "No makeup" "DAE remember these from the early nineties?" " PC master race" " I'm sorry for hijacking your comment"
frahnkenshteen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist, I have a -insert skin tone here- friend!"
chaderic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Looks like someone's got a case of the Monday's."
sachitatious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those churros are as addictive as crack.
unprdctbl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Jesus. A lot of you seem like judgemental mean people. I have some phrases that bother me, but I'm not going to * "want to punch them in the face" for people using them.
*Except for maybe this phrase. It just makes you seem like a violent cockhole.
CuddlePuddler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The Bible says..."
jayce6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If I wasn't vegetarian"... I didn't really ask if you were
justin1983r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey buddy.
RjakActual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That said,
rednemo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless.
Shadowmael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, you're overtime exempt? We are going to use and abuse you."
Salaried overtime-exempt status is indentured servitude.
RedDwarfian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep whining and whining until I win"
ERJohnson07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I cannot stand a person that says "cool beans" due to hearing it everyday for 5 years from a co-worker. So freaking annoying. Find a new catch phrase.
diminishing-return ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO.
I hate myself for even typing it.
IcemanOtzi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Person I just met 30 seconds ago... "So what do you do for a living?"
Ken808 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"with the exception of rape & incest" GOP makes me barf.
atlantafalcon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Working hard, or hardly working?"
That wasn't witty the first time I heard it 20+ years ago. You need to lose that.
JORDANEast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Nah mean?"
deardude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"With all due respect" - Nothing good ever comes out after that phrase!
Veggiedaniel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever anyone calls me "Boss" or "Chief". We can be having a fine transaction, when I hear "anything else, Boss?" Damn, it's ruined.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so awkward"
No you actually only seem awkward because you say this all the fucking time!!
redditpat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Constantly repeating the phrase "and everything" to end sentences.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people add "though" to the end of a statement.
C477um04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'll get used to it eventually though.
UnSheathDawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was at work (serving tables) and a family was talking about politics and the mother turns and says to me "I really love Donald Trump, he's just so smart and I think he really gets the common people wouldn't you agree?". I literally stared at her for a moment waiting for her to laugh as if she was joking because obviously this statement is so ridiculous, she just stared at me without cracking the slightest smile. I just responded by saying "ummm not getting into this conversation hehe" and awkwardly walked away. Now I hate her.
traderjoesbeforehoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says y'all
Pancho95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckboy. Anyone that says this is the exact definitionโwhatever the hell that definition actually isโof a "fuckboy".
raftST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
Also my wife dislikes when I use the phrases "U Jelly?" or "you're just peanut butter and jealous"
blanco4prez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"_____ hair don't care"
sennheiserz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When describing their dumb startup "It's like [Uber/Tinder] for _____"
GotStomped ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate people that do drugs. Then they take a sip of their beer or wine.
DrZedMD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Social justice
restlessleg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
is it friday yet?
aussienick1990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically every tagline from a teenage girl on tinder/facebook etc
theripped ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone uses the word "grateful" a little too much
MT_Flesch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"didja hear bout <soandso>..."
t3hdebater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ladies.
It's either a creepy fedora add-on or a woman trying to get a group of women to do something they really don't want to do.
Incarnin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I'm not a rapper'
awsmwsm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God Bless You
GettinDatFaSho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's retarded.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just one word. Whilst. Said or printed, I hate you.
Nice_Dude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"....restored my faith in humanity"
limmitti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's that?" My GM said this phrase so much even if he heard you. Others started copying him, it's some sort of power move.
alex_dlc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I wear a Powerbalance bracelet"
Camkwat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
on fleek
viciousbat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you know who I am?
scotscott ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it pacificly fustrating when people don't know how common words are prenounced.
camowilli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
TheRedBull28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You only listen to that song because of X movie"
And? That film had a kickass soundtrack and if I want to listen to it I will
Monkeyhero1217 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"THAT'S SICK NASTY, YOU'RE STRAIGHT UP SAVAGEEEEE"
Archsys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"They should just smack 'em! That's how I was raised!"
Yeah... and now I don't want to know you, you violent freak.
JuanPubes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less"
I gave The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore a try until he used that phrase.
Ilmarinen_tale2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Education is a privilege.
I think education should be a right, even maybe an obligation, not ร privilege, nor something you have to earn
Anthinee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You go girl!"
Please make it stop
AxsDeny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you have a light?"
I do. But no, I don't want you to light a cigarette near me. It's disgusting.
lolcetz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just bad at getting good grades though, don't judge me."
L2_tech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of saying they have to call someone they say they're gonna "Reach out to them"
Theothersideofi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Chillaxing with my peeps" . This drives me crazy and I hope you get mauled by bears.
DrunkJesus_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not being funny but..." I'm fully aware you're not being funny, you're being a dickhead.
bill_gonorrhea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you'll never guess...
edgarc6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"do you know who I am?!"
GiveMeAkegOfBeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but, "It is what it is.". Yeah, and you can go fuck yourself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
omg I'm so ADD LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOL!
ktappe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason."
Really? Then tell me why that kid got cancer. Tell me why lightning struck that mom of three. Tell me why that other guy who went to church every Sunday and volunteered at food banks died when a brick fell off a truck and smashed his car's windshield.
dosmae14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Who tryna ____??" (insert anything, usually party/chill/"turn up")
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not vaccinating my children."
Kindly get the fuck out of my daycare.
salamangkero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hated The Princess Bride" not that I've met many people who have said such a thing...
matcochr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People using "methinks" on social media (especially Twitter, because it uses the same number of character as typing "I think"); you don't live in Elizabethan times, you are just being pretentious.
snoopyda6fuck9dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
JTRut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Your opinion is wrong"
bazster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
deleted What is this?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm such a nerd" Sure you are sweetheart. When that stops being envogue I'm sure you'll probably be such a sumo wrestler or whatever is cool next.
MichaelMurphree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who can only interact with a famous person by quoting or imitating a thing they once did gets me. We get it, you like what they say/do. Try interacting with them like people now.
CowsFromSpace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could care less...
WELL I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT WHATEVER YOURE ABOUT TO SAY
MaybeNotStig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work with a rude Eastern European woman who I've been open about disliking. She says the same unnecessary phrases over and over again but they're all slightly off, with the exception of a few. People have corrected her and she never fixes them. From what I can recall the worst are:
-"Is fine."(as a standalone response to a question.)
-"At the end of the day"
-"Let me understand"(this will be said when she cuts you off to reveal she hasn't listened to a work you said)
She will be the primary reason among few others for why I leave this job.
kenshin79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I didn't mean to sleep with him."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I call him Asshole and he calls me bitch"
Philandrrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The feels
pwnda9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi.
Camkwat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dont you just love when you are talking to a very shallow person and they tell you how intricate they are and how much depth they have when they clearly dont
PraiseTheGun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bro
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have any female friends- women are so catty. Most women secretly hate each other, any way."
Great! So, you're proud of the fact that you don't get along with a 50% of the human population. And you see nothing wrong that.
Walk tall.
Chonzerfool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone uses the phrase "that just happened"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Getting tense wrong especially run and ran
sillybandland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone calls me a "good sir". I have a good friend that does this shit and it annoys me to no end.
Jacob_Marley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's nothing, listen to this. . ."
I know this was a comedian's rant, but I forget which one.
Sweep03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is......I hate when people say this
marmadukeESQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a part-time vegan."
andropogon09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"She's an old soul." Usually referring to someone about nine-years-old.
TheRedVanMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can you just...."
If it was 'just' doing it, you'd do it yourfuckingself.
oatmonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but...
cadcamm99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
....just saying
mrsummerlover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
TheInorganicAsian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's your zodiac sign?"
Nope.
0urlasthope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the joke "not with that attitude".... probably the most overused joke in existence.
vgYoda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am a antivaxxer" or "I drive tractors on the highway"
bazster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
deleted What is this?
mike_0_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is".
DonRobertoD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is." Yeah, no fucking shit. Way to add exactly nothing to the conversation.
Kgencks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say 'Bae'. Shut up. Die in a fire. Its still Danish for 'poop'.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I've got insomnia.'
No you fucking don't, you just have a shit body clock because you play video games and watch movies all night.
MuscleBearScott ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the game, but...
Very unique.
UGH... it's either unique or it's not. The definition is "one of a kind." It can't be very "one of a kind!" I just cringe when I hear that.
randomthug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you think of the jade helm situation.
whiskeywishes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ten things never to say to _____
elizawithaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just saying..." Is that supposed to be an excuse? Am I supposed to be ok with the verbal diarrhea you just spewed because you said "just saying"?
Runner up: "Could I be the Devils Advocate for a moment?" NO YOU MAY NOT!!!!
Sojoez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's for me to know and for you to find out."
Bitch I asked a question because I want to learn something! You know what? Fuck it, you have nothing of value.
Bewarethewulf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm the last true gentleman."
เฒ _เฒ
jleblanc123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, not sorry
Vivalyrian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any variety of "I got it like 3x cheaper than full price."
Sooo, you only had to pay a third then? 3 times would be more, not less. Please.
And, in Norwegian, people that say skj- instead of kj-. You want a new vagina for your bike? Sure you're not referring to a chain?
Grabthatgem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Meat is murder"
FutureWormfood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"With all due respect..."
afkurzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not mad. You'll know when I'm mad.
rishathra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Please Advise" in an email instantly sets me off. What does that even mean?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you as email title from career sites.
lieutenant_insano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Watch me whip"
slapplebags ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I dont believe in X" Makes me literally angry with rage. I don't care if you don't believe in it, it is a thing that exists.
pokemagical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"that's so gay" :)))))
jediarecool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that makes them seem like me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Here's the one thing I can't stand about our generation..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure this will get buried. My manager and I are both 24 years old and he uses the words "Clutch and Gucci" all...the....time. ZERO respect.
becjoyhov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely any phrase spoken into one's cell phone while a server (me) ~patiently~ awaits one's order. Note: job security is the force that restrains said server (me) from death glaring that phone right outta your hand.
pooptacoyumm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I "axed" you a question.
Jack_abc27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That would not have happened if she was not wearing that."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Everything happens for a reason' Translation: I don't take responsibility for my shitty life choices
Snyegurochka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mom..."
Makes me roll eyes everytime
awaythrowathrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"sloppy seconds"
mwts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"lookit"
goatonfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It will take awhile for you to get used to my sense of humor."
bongozap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Liberal Media"
jimlaheyandrandy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For all intensive purposes."
TicTacToeFreeUccello ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
ZeroTheCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On tinder: Any variation of "if you don't like me, sorry bout it" followed by any combination of "sassy" emojis.
It basically translates to, "If you don't like me, its because I'm a vicious cunt and I don't feel its affected my career enough to change. So fuck you" Also, already a drama case who lacks self reflection.
If you start with the "yassssssssssssss." It's become the new "bae" for me which strikes a cord in my stomach that is often associated with the sensation of gagging. I catch myself doing it with my fucking friends who started that shit, I hate myself, but I'm not going to like you if we start out like that. I've got enough of that shit to deal with.
fishforfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
made up words.. like ridonkulous.
sheepsix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Now that's what I'm talking about!" "My Bad" "Mad Props"
Warpsplitter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People Who Actually say "lol."
Dotpboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm super passive aggressive" No, your just a pussy
Rufen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, can I get this cake for tomorrow morning?"
I work in a bakery in Wal-Mart. It's 8 pm and you just -now- want to order your goddamn minions or [insert disney shit here] cake? Th sign says between 24-48 hours. That notice isn't for me it's for the decorator who works 9-5.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What do?" If you ask me that I will just turn around.
riotistx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RIP my Inbox.
Cool. You made a sick comment on reddit. Yes, I'm jealous of your karma. YES, I wish I did it. Pretty sure your inbox is fine. Shut the front door
mellena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im not racist but" ...yeah you problem are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody who calls me "boss" and does not directly report to me at work
Fr0thBeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any incorrect usage of the word 'literally'; my starting estimation of your IQ literally goes down 10 points per usage.
shylox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Whatever. Same difference"
AweInspiringPickle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason. Hot damn that is annoying
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People that say "You know what I'm saying." A lot of people that say it are either from prison (or have been in prison) or extremely uneducated. When I here it, it usually follows some basic sentence. For instance The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round. You know what I'm saying. I just want to answer back "Yeah, I'm not fucking retarded."
jupiter5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is in graphic design. Her answer is "make it pop," because what does that really mean?
MrSups ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How do you not!?"
How do I not like something you like? How do I not have the same goals as you? How do I not have the same history as you? How do I not do things like drink and smoke?
Easy, I'm not you.
That's not to shit on the ask reddit threads literally asking asking for advice on 'how do I not' do x, y, z in order to imprive themselves.
I'm talking about that kid who just can't wrap there head around the fact that I can have a different experience and life than them.
kilo73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm brutally honest."
Nine times out of ten, they're just assholes.
boonanaberrypie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Where's MY hug?"
Ugh....
APiousCultist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There's no smoke without fire."
Waddyameanwe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just keeping it real"
No you just have no tact, no respect for others, or you just have no class.
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't"
oozing_sludge_alan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"this is three times smaller than that" - using a multiplier to describe something diminishing... ooooh...
somedude456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"chem-trails!"
I actually worked with a girl who brought them up her first day. "You know, organ food really isn't organic if it isn't grown indoors. You have the government spraying their chem-trails all over, no wonder everyone has cancer."
That was the first the last time I talked to her.
seachelly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Right?!" Usually this follows some opinion they have and is not an actual question despite the annunciation.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Comcast is pretty good, I really like their services!"
Czechmarks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Real eyes realize real lies.
Shut the fuck up Shut the fuck up Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
chachasir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bro let me get a beer" anonymous college people that don't care about your shit
"dislike someone strongly" you people are upvoting some really dumb reasons to instantly dislike someone Strongly
IronMaskx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but anyone who says "Legit" in a sentence is automatically stupid.
MacGyver387 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get 'er done
TranshumansFTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm their mother, I think I know what informed opinions I should make about their healthcare"
Proceeds to refuse all vaccination, and asks me where she can find a naturopath "doctor" to talk about "diet plans"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is".... go fuck yourself.
trumo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Go big or go home!" "I'm in it to win it!" "There's no shame in my game!" Whenever I hear any of these I know I'm dealing with a douche bag.
charlatte_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a vegetarian..." - Yes, that's fantastic you're a vegetarian, but some of us can't physically eat a vegetarian lifestyle. Save me the guilt trip of how I'm "ruining the ecosystem" by eating chicken, thanks.
MrSnap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's all well and good but...
exoxe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're a customer and say, "I have a quick question."
No you don't.
ajahanonymous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
REAL TALK
radiopinetool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cool story, bro"
Well, sorry for boring you. I thought it was a cool story...
aebelsky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
rad, super, bitchin
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an Irish person, when Americans pronounce Paddy's day with a "t" rather than a "d". Also that anyone believes we actually say "top off the morning to ya", I mean do you really think we are a nation of drunken leprechauns chasing after rainbows? Come on guys! (swigs whiskey)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an American, we can only hope.
Ballroomwalrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not myyyy taxdollars...
Give me a fucking break. No where in the founding documents does it say you get to pick and choose where your tax dollars go
pigeon_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not so bad once you get to know me"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This isn't going anywhere constructive".
Usually used by religious people when I've sourced quotes from their leaders admitting that such-and-so thing really did happen the way I just said it did.
LaBelleCommaFucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is." No shit, Sherlock.
BoundinBob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sports commentators using the phrase "for mine" instead of "in my opinion". I'm not sure if it's just an Aussie thing.
HopesAsh123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO! It makes me violent
Holgateend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's policy" Invariably used when the speaker is unable to win an argument with logic or reasoning and needs to shut down further discussion lest they look foolish.
asimplepintobean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "There ya go" as their go-to response. It bothers the fuck out of me
Hularula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Whatnot" = "I can't think of anything intelligent to say but am still talking"
hgeno193 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"no homo"
fuckfuckmoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like you know like, like totally.
StudentII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Adding "-gate" to the end of EVERY controversy. Especially when it is something trivial.
LurkerWithAnAccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The fact of the matter is..." (...typically followed by some spewshit opinion)
inohsinhsin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am [insert any and every fucking marginalized group and/or physical or mental condition] Fucking hell! The blatant abuse of labels we have conceived for real fucking reasons. You are not ocd just because you are neat, you're not crazy just because you are acting stupid, you ARE, how-fucking-ever, undermining real people with real issues and problems they are dealing with on a daily basis, 24 fucking 7.
You who do this shit: there are real people with real serious problems--and then there's you, you fuck.
1daf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So tell me about yourself"
CodyCus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
PhoenixCaptain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I need a cigarette"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"just say'in"...yeah, I know! Everyone is just saying things, everything that is coming out of their mouths they are saying! ..ugh, it is the laziest ending to a thought
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love Reddit"
kkachisae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It don't cost nothing", even said ironically.
That one makes me walk away from someone in midconversation.
wvu5981 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but....
andropogon09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When God closes a door, he opens a window."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're burning daylight!"
Sirmutswa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hella.
brubadubdub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Go ahead and shoot me that email after you've finished your business at the ATM machine."
Wulfys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tryin to make a change :-/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a bad texter" is it really so hard to take five seconds to type a reply? Like is your life SOOOOOOOOO busy, you just can't respond?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got an important message to share with you.
SirGoodden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"that's funny" In that sorority girl voice, and they don't laugh.
MonsieurSander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from Holland
frankiesayrelax87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...Between you and I"
I am 99% sure in that moment that it's FOR SURE not just between "you and I".
MashMashMaro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Live. Love. Laugh. <3
piccini9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I hear someone use, "Chop!-Chop!" to get someone to hurry, I literally want to beat the shit out of that person.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst ypu don't deserve me at my best."
Sardonnicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO." In any form or variation.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when someone says "supper" instead of dinner. I know I'm not in the right for disliking someone for it, but I do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using the term "librul" non-snarkily.
Kogusoku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "In a previous life I was a(n)..." while they refer to an old job. You can see their eyes light up before they say it... it's the worst.
Pandora_take_out ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My SO hates when I say "I'm just farting around".
peanutismint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's hilarious."
If it was so hilarious, try laughing like a normal human person instead of verbalising your amusement.
amanbelow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but
MokeyFraggle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just sayin'
benchcoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello"
kyriedonovan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Good on you."
Always sounds condescending and sarcastic to me, and whether or not it is correct grammar it makes me twitch.
ChickenTarm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do _____. Don't be a bitch. Motherfucker doing what you ask would be the definition of being a bitch.
P3T3RSAM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says any variation of "I'm hip"
toaster_in_law ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything to do with "reach out" in the business sense
wolfkeeper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What is a phrase that makes you instantly dislike someone strongly?"
Like why should I instantly dislike some strongly just because of a turn of phrase. Why would you even say that?
I really don't like you, OP. ;)
Mont3y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Have you seen this me-me?"
IT'S PRONOUNCED MEEM!
ZincAzN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cowboy for game."
robdoc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I use an Iphone"
shezabel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Boys will be boys'.
chip42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense, but..." or "I'm not racist (sexist, homophobic, etc.), but..."
Adding the disclaimer does not make your horrible statement any less horrible.
Princeso_Bubblegum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"wreck havoc"
its most annoying in online competitive communities where it it used all the fucking time (namely Pokemon: "with the proper support Garchomp can wreck havoc")
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, it doesn't really matter" or nay variation of that used during an argument. Obviously it fucking matters to me, that's why I'm talking about it.
claytonian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"A nickel!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AS A STAY-AT-HOME MOTHER OF FOUR
Feisty_Red ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For all intensive purposes."
Ef_2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You missed a spot!
navonodmail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..." Instantly off putting
SuddenAborealStop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You think that's ____ (good/a lot/something noteworthy), well I _____ (something better/more/bigger)" Example: "oh you won $500 at the casino this weekend? That's nothing, I won $2000 playing poker 5 years ago"
Nobody likes a one-upper
lulucat9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just let go of the past."
tboneplayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason."
saltesc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's just my OCD."
Meanwhile people that actually have OCD be like, "Fuck. You..... 1, 2, 3, 4."
utinee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On fleek"
Ugh.
The_Indifferent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I met this guy (friend of a friend) on the street. He kept saying 'tis the way the world works' he probably said it a total of three to 4 times in a matter of 6 minutes.
tboneplayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you have nothing to hide, you have no reason to need privacy legislation."
firstjib ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While delivering food - "hey, is that for me!?"
KneeDeepInTheDead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anyone that says "Not for nothin"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin'" really? Than just say it motherfucker.
thisusernameis-taken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offence but..." -.- Edit: I made myself mad after reading this after posting it. No offence but you suck past self
will_wolfy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who post edits in their original post
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason
OnceInABluMoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Are we having fun yet?"
civildisobedient ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obamacare.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Any asshole who says "The struggle is real".
Brainificate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cool beans"
shogged ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a taxpayer..."
HypnoticONE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, right?"
That-one-lamp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not like other girls!"/ "You're not like other girls!" What's wrong with other girls?
WinterFreshershist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"you can't judge me"
Picnicpanther ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm no scientist, but (insert intensely anti-science statement here)"
DrySponge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Chill out bro"
MVPanthersFan11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Aye"
TheSpaldingMachine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna upvote about 95% of these suggestions - when has that happened? Thanks guys! Guess I'm an inside-complainy hyper-irritated guy - hadn't realized that. Oh well. Thank y'all for legitimate lolz on a Tuesday night.
tboneplayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You have a [blue/green/red etc.] aura."
New_Y0rker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Up and at em'"
you are worse than hitler for the next 20 min because you just woke me up
kninjaknitter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"S/He has a lot of heart"
Want to smack the fucking mic out of their goddamn hand every time.
Apparently every athlete is the motherfucking Grinch after the Who's showed him the true meaning of Christmas.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go hard or go home!
Yeah, I think I'll go home thanks...
bsand2053 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"out of the goodness of my heart"
iChimChim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone uses the word "fleek". That's not a word and you're a dunce.
oh_manski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" I seen that"
Invincible_Bears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fam
OohWeeStewie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Omg music nowadays sucks!!! I was born in the wrong generation."
neverassume ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry, I'm so A.D.D."
No, you are not. Most people who truly live with this condition, refuse to use it as a crutch in daily life. They also would not use it so flippantly.
rhad_rhed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"LOL"
jsnetors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate reading.
Or
I don't like movie that you have to think about.
house_nellens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm computer illiterate." Always with this shit eating grin like they're proud to not know how to use a mouse.
I work in a library's computer lab and help everybody log on and print and find google. Every time a patron says this to me I swear I can feel my blood pressure jump.
thesalesmandenvermax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm addicted to tattoos"
YoungDestGod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What type of music do you listen to? Oh me?? Everything :) ........ There is no motherfucking way you listen to everything I listen to or even remotely close to "everything."l
ilostmyoldaccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ban these "instantly" threads. Worse than DAE
prosoto2269 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not _______, but [insert contradictory statement]"
Brockaloupe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I seen" instead of "I saw" or "I've seen"
Just_Another_Aussie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"One man, one woman".
stufflikeotherstuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"couldnt find it anywheres" or "you can go anywheres"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not necessarily" and its ugly sibling "essentially"
NancyGraceFaceYourIn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check your privilege.
Triggered.
fake_CHARLES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever you can I can do better
lpolon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is because of the reptilian part of the brain!"
ThatWasTheJawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Starts a sentence with, "Bro,..."
HunterBuns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm totally fine with those gays, I just don't like it when they shove it in my face. Also it's gross when I see them kissing. Like, have you no discretion?"
FUCK you.
outdoorStoner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Or nahh"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If people are going to live in this country, they need to learn to speak English!"
thejdobs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Disrupt (insert industry)" or "Blah blah blah is ripe for disruption"
No dickhead, you're just a tech asshole who thinks everything is literally the most innovative shit ever
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that someone says referring to them being "Alone". That emo crap annoys me so much.
ViperGTX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..." Just before they say the most racist shit you've ever heard. That phrase is not a get outta jail free card.
moaw1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On dating sites, when women describe themselves as "low maintenance" or "high maintenance".
vampedvixen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
No, don't even finish that sentence. Nothing good ever comes from it.
apilot2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the end of the day...."
MamaD_Cooks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't understand how someone could believe in evolution."
Unfriended her so quickly. She also went on to say how Darwin was an idiot. She barely graduated high school, and came from a crazy religious family.
Ravaen769 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word bae smh
AmbitiousEmack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it is what it is." ex girlfriends credo
suicompotem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ayy lmao
FuckSkittles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege". You just know anyone who says this is using it to try to justify being an asshole or to avoid a valid point.
MtvSecretCasting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What do you do?" ... Ugh gross. I'm a casting director, but often tempted to tell people in LA that I work at a gas station.
chicagorunner10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's actually a very relevant question when you're first trying to get to know someone; to know how they spend 40-50% of the hours they're awake every week.
Maybe you're getting caught-up by the possible implication that they're asking more about the money/income aspect.
In that case when you hear that question, if you don't want to be the typical miserable pessimist, that they're asking... how you spend 40-50% of the hours you're awake every week.
beastium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What we strivin for?
freenarative ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day..." I know it's the modern version of "when all else is said and done..." But all I can think is "at the end of the day... We go to bed?!"
italianfatman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone refers to me as 'my friend' as in look here my friend, I'm about to screw you....
ianuilliam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not your friend, buddy.
beastium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's imperative
monkry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not even me can do that"
Such an almighty friend I had there :'))
neverassume ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less." Means that there is a possibility that your amount of care could go down.
"I couldn't care less." That is what you mean.
jakobair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me Abraham Edison invented electricity. I laughed fairly hard and told her that had to be the most stupid thing anyone has ever said. She cried, then I felt bad.
MacPho13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any version of, "If we allow gays to marry then adults will be marrying kids, humans will marry animals or someone will marry their car!!!"
I just don't get it. It's NOT the same thing! Hearing it makes me want to abruptly end the conversation and walk away while mumbling cuss words under my breath.
G00Gz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say/use the "words" anywayS, forwardS, backwardS, etc.
THESE WORDS ARE PRETENDS. NOT REALS. PLS STOPS.
JesusListensToSlayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"They've found proof that..." One study of 100 college students does not constitute proof!
blueberrywine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I farted
Alma2344 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is." wtf ELSE would it be?
jsnetors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who actually say 'lol' should be put to death.
Pavillon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
at the end of the day
MySOmademegetone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Gay people choose to be gay"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, actually...
codeprimate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a whiner and I keep whining and whining until I win"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do as I say, not as I do"
So you're a fucking hypocrite then?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love to travel! (every woman on okcupid eva)
notillegalyhere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in the south and i hate hearing
"I AIN'T RACIST!! HELLFIRE, IMMA QUARTER INDIAN"
or any other non southern place.
bipolarbear21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thank you Thank you" And whenever people end a sentence with "like"
opiaccount902 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Full disclosure...blah blah blah."
Don't like that one.
kingeryck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's offensive"
So fucking what? Don't like it? Walk away, turn off the TV, close Firefox and go live in a hole. Being offended doesn't make you right and gives you no power over other people.
iamaneviltaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like that phrase offends you.
kingeryck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe you said that!!
dimsum4sale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
M'lady.
jordan_gi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sentence where someone brags about an absolutely pointless achievement (sometimes not even theirs)
"I started reading that book we were chatting about" "God I finished that weeks ago, my brother read it in like a day."
Just make a conversation out of it - why brag?
betteroffinbed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, word?"
maetik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm tempting fate here, but I can't stand it when someone "whatever." It's so dismissive. The entire of someone's argument, belief, or ideals dismissed with no rebuttal at all. Just like their entire life is meaningless.
Even when it's used by them about something they're talking about with the dreaded "or whatever" example. It's just... infuriating, care enough about yourself and the people with whom you're speaking to offer real words and ideas.
I feel so strongly I've had to make up excuses and leave when people say it. Far too timid to ever strike someone for it, but I like to imagine it in detail that if described to the authorities may solicit unwarranted psychiatric treatment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything dank anything at all. Fuck you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says that something is "AIDS"
labruins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No homo".
Lordleary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
ExplosiveLiquid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Everything happens for a reason."
Well, I don't know about everything, but your uttering of that phrase is the reason that my fist is colliding with your face over and over.
1tequila2tequila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yolo." It's actually a good philosophy to live by, that you will only live once and to make the most of it. But so many people have downplayed it and made it in to a clichรฉd, overused saying that means nothing
LovesFLSun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old hags "living life to the fullest". Yeah, since you don't have too much more time!
sighcl0ps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like Eminem."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I COULD care less" - it's couldn't
Or "I seen this the other day"
xxUrbanNinjaxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know what they say about big feet."
No just shut up m8 do you even know how to spell feet? Go back to your kindergarten homework skrub.
jaggerlover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"good stuff" I HATE IT!
Xris1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's some good stuff, right there mate.
cagetheblackbird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im a christian, you can trust me." Or any varient of that.
mixed-metaphor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I voted for Bush.
empty_see ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We'll head them off at the pass!
The_Koi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry not sorry.
Go fuck yourself if you say this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Roll Tide"
rustandbones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not all cops are bad.
RathBonesMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Just sayin'.' This assumes an absolved culpability for whatever heinous previous thing has been said, much the same as the southern U.S. phrase, 'But bless his/her heart.' Both are often said with a wink and the former drives me up the wall....
AsherRoss69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On Tinder/dating sites: "Work hard, play hard." It's unoriginal and grossly overused."
you had me at tinder... sorry u/v0rpaul , i'm sure you're a nice guy...
gumby52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus is my lord and Savior
cagetheblackbird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im done adulting for the day" or any phrase that uses the term adulting.
doedsknarkarN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"gg" after third round.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am not into "Popular", "Mainstream" music."
alexeiw123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's nothing, (now let me ignore what you just said, while I'll tell you my less interesting tangent storyline)...
Laventhros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, you're fucking wrong!"
I'm fine if some one disagrees, but if you do..at least have some form of counter-point. Don't just yell, and if you need to curse...I will intensely dislike you.
juiceboxOG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"did those tattoos hurt?"
no, they tickled?
elpololoco9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My ex use to say "yeah buddy" I hated it. :/
HighlanderScotch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"... You have just found a way to make this situation worse with your bullshit comment that you present as advice
DamonoVasTaleree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry not Sorry"
Very-Sandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll play it by ear."
peanutbummy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Have a blessed day."
VAPossum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just telling it like it is," or, "I'm just honest."
And while it doesn't make me dislike them, I will distance myself from anyone who asks me, "Have you been saved?"
dpang12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sucks to Suck
bigmacmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is a no brainer!" Is there an "Yes brainer" somewhere?
Xris1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"dat [something] tho"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just saying.
Stating the above does not absolve you of your opinions. Grow a spine.
Tifferzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"SMH" Obviously you only it see it online or through text but it makes me want to rage.
Valeur_Smog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying anything is "divine"
Diviiiiiiine
Xris1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You stopped playing Candy Crush right away, didn't you?
zedshadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you finish a conversation and the person says "cheers"
I can't fucking stand it
LosinCash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jersey Strong.
Fills me with rage every time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin" or JS on social media.
Makes me want to punch them in the face.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't think global warming is a thing."
Basically a fifth of my highschool right there, there's so much evidence for it too, and yet they can just wave it aside like it's some sort of trick because Fox news told them so.
iamtheowlman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IMHO (In my humble opinion)
No one who uses this phrase thinks their opinion is humble, because if it was, they wouldn't have to say it was. It's the conversational equivalent of driving down the street booming out the Star Spangled Banner to prove how patriotic you are...as a Canadian.
If you hear this phrase used in real life, run. Go far, far away because nothing good can come after this abomination of a conversational gambit.
Oh, and if you actually use the term IMHO, then yes, yes you are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"hubby"
Bartybum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Here in my garage, just uh bought this new Lamborghini here..."
Anagatam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I vote Republican.
kcexactly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you hear what Obama did?
Dumb_dumpling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a (some zodiac sign) so I'm really..." Your personality is not determined by what fucking stars were in the sky the month you were born in.
darkspot_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially since those signs have shifted and are not even correct today.
jimmyptubas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about "Do you know who I am???"
usman748260 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NOT A PHRASE BUT A WORD, HELLA. FUCK U IDIOT FUKER
IDontFuckingCareBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"THE BIBLE SAYS...!!!"
SKEEPOLA_2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Get this dog away from me, I can't stand dogs."
Me: "Oh, you more of a cat kind of person"
"Ehh, I don't know...I don't care for cats either. But I hate dogs"
I automatically dislike someone who hates dogs and also people whom don't care about music of any genre/hate all music.
rebecca0nline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because I could.
NewMaterialOnly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't disrepect me."
memway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hello.
Lola_Bedworthy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL. Just LOL.
Burnieofc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep Calm and ____ on.
fatlard20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bring the drugs baby, I'll bring the pain."
jyssrocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Evolution is just a theory!"
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
jyssrocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, dont be a wanker. Scientific theories are very different than just "I have this theory that if I flap my arms hard enough, ill fly."
Llllllong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Warsh" "Backwarsh" "Dishwarsher" "Warshington"
Seriously, who told these people any of these words need the extra R?
mtins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No homo."
Seriously. Stop it.
5u5anb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God bless you"
Please don't assume that phrase means anything to me and is a 'blessing' in any form to me. It means more about you than me.
SelfMadeSoul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Its not my fault, I'm only human!"
NOT_ah_BOT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a nerd"
If you were, wouldnt have to say anything, people can tell
badf1nger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae.
desirad8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The words "blessed" or "hubby" "Me and the hubby are going out tonight." "I'm so blessed." "It was a blessing in disguise." ๐ฉ๐ฝ๐ซ
ewokewok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
do u agree?
arseniclips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
No shit.
ALLCAP5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey buddy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
really? How come?
ALLCAP5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well mainly like at work when managers use it and they know your name. It doesn't necessary have to be directed towards me either. It just the way they say it. It's in there voice or tone.
Thehansa99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sucks to suck. FUCK YOU I KNOW MY SITUATIONS BAD
evolutionx1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who use the term drugs to refer to only things they think are bad. Generally while simultaneously drinking a beer.
kittonmittonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says, "No homo," I generally dislike.
Also, my buddy HATES when someone follows up a sentence with, "So there's that..." So I say it all the time to piss him off
MotoMug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vote for me.
lordzoku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ollie: Hey Jon! Your Uncle Benjen is back!
slightly_drifting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have wonderful news.
VividCortex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you confirm what day it is with someone "today is August 11th right?" Then they reply by saying "Yep all day!"
Worst type of people you will ever meet.
cannoliqueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"... for people just like you"
CRISPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's my body
I have a right
You are not my father
Share the road
Eye for an eye the world goes blind
You should calm down
You should
Any obscenity used without an emotional context
stevehillage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I listen to all music" or "Also I consider myself a bit of a country girl and I like to have fun!"
Every girl's POF profile
GodLovesScience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The replies to top (more-often-than-not stolen) comments on Facebook posts by popular pages.
"LOL! You, sir, win the internet."
Stop fucking saying that.
WeylandYutani42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just sayin'" or "just sayin'..."
over and over and over and over and over
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like this to piss off my mate.
dies
MincedSpam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You are hereby sentenced to 45 years in prison."
Fuckin' hate those guys. What gives them the authority?
superdvader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when people say "Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. "
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like someones got a case of the Tuesdays
VegaDenebAndAltair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bless her (or his) heart."
flagshipcopypaper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Honestly...." makes me think you're not honest
oxnaes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it is what it is
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He's good people"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is." Oh! So you're completely useless! Great!
gngh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I overthink everything"
EVE-Bet_haack_mah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im not racist...but" just shut the fuck up and dont fonish your sentence
baconburns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't stand drama"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep whining & whining until I win."
-Donald Trump
LesnarsBattleScream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"OMG, she/he is, like, my bae!"
dylanlandro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My life is dope and I do dope shit."
czj420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let me explain it so you can understand", this was said by a sales guy when you understand his idea sucks.
ChefBDiddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You cannot get there from here." My mind shuts down from rage. I just can't even...respond.
Tifferzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"She's ratchet"
.....wtf
phantasm10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who are asked to do something relatively important and respond "I don't have time." Well make some time. Maybe turn off the reality show your watching and you'll have some.
echo_zoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You da real MVP!" or any other le reddit army BS
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I "legitly" anything.
I want to give anybody who says this a purple nurple.
IamVexx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything preceded with "hashtag". Oh and the word sassy.
porksqueezins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know right?" "It is what it is." "really?" "Just sayin"
nal13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost all these describe one person I work with, somehow, I pity him over hate him.
Astaroth1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to sound racist but................. This statement is going to be mind numbingly racist.
temporarycreature ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol - I love to laugh - I'm not looking for any drama - That marylin Monroe quote.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Desecr8or ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You hear that phrase a lot?
mrnagrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
where the fuck do you live?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
mrnagrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i knew there was a fucking austria. i never expected a fucking texas. har har har
moviemaker10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're a nice young boy. You must be a Christian!
minicheeseburgr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
aboynamedsam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People will hate me for this but "According to the bible..."
For the sake of my inbox, I have no issues with religion but if you're using this book as a source for anything academic (outside of theology), you are wrong. Period.
Edit: a word.
mrnagrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"people will hate me for this"
Nobody ever gives a fuck, ever, it's always something that eleventy billion people on reddit are totally cool with.
aboynamedsam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair point but just because "eleventy billion" are in agreement doesn't mean that a portion won't get butt hurt. My statement holds up.
mrnagrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is, every time somebody says that, nobody cares.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege!"
Desecr8or ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NavyDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Somebody's got a case of the mondays".
Ace_Ranger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Impeach Obama. Or: Benghazi.
mynameisalso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We will pray for you"
I'd be happier if you would just visit.
mrnagrom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm generally happier when people that "will pray for me" don't visit.
mynameisalso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh I have some friends that are pretty hardcore Christians. We just don't talk about things we obviously don't agree on.
mrnagrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So do I. They are respectful enough of my beliefs not to offer me prayers. I afford them the same respect in not applying my beliefs on religion to them.
kidwithglasses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swag.
toomuchkalesalad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't believe in vaccines"
GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY KID THIS INSTANT.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not trying to be judgemental, but. ..
notHooptieJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"youre not wrong" ... when its not followed by "but you are an asshole"
it means first - the person cant admit someone else is right, and secondly they're insinuating you're an asshole, but wont even come right out and say it.
its an indicator for someone who has no respect for you or your opinions, and doesnt have spine enough to call you out if you actually are an asshole.
probably doesnt help that the only person i knew who used that phrase regularly that way was an alcoholic who caused me to lose my house, and he'd usually say it during the "dude are you trying to fuck up Both our lives" talks.
bobbinloom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry, but..."
No, you're not fucking sorry at all.
rlg27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin' " I already heard what you said. Why are you telling me that you just said something?
k_cloudkicker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Pop a squat."
falcoperegrinus82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a Christian..."
Bolsen2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses words that aren't insults, as they were insults. Also, using things that people can't control as insults. Ex: Using "gay" "retarded" as insults, when
Girlinhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How could anyone like that?"
MrBl4ck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can it be internet terms? I pretty much want to strangle anyone who uses the term "Bae"
JingerJiant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"NETFLIX AND CHILL"
"GAMESTOP BE LIKE" "KANYE BE LIKE" "WHEN YOU 15 MINUTES INTO NETFLIX AND CHILL AND HE GIVE U THIS LOOK"
brimford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but the word moist.
Paindemix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who calls themselves fun loving.
FUCKING REALLY? THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO BE! THERE IS NO PERSON WHO DOESN'T LIKE FUN, FUN IS RELATIVE TO WHAT YOU ENJOY AS A PERSON!
m-day ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking hate my generation. Or I'm 12 but I love xx etc,
LesnarsBattleScream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So theres that" after making a point and trying to win an argument.
mrTosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the "I'm not racist but" routine, or the "I have a lot of gay friends but"....
Froggoboggo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty late to this but "I'm not a racist but...." Anything that follows that will most definitely be racist.
GovtParasite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
Such a lazy cliche. It doesn't advance your argument, it just gives you an easy way of saying something without saying anything.
fishydeeds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IJERKEDURMOM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who says "legitly," every other sentence. Yeah I wana slap him when he says that shit
TypoHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm against Western Medicine, you know, the ancient Eastern folks had the right idea about..."
or something along those lines.
sonic7777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase but an action. When you ask someone with a watch the time and they pull out their cell phone to check.
Muh_Condishuns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I spend a lot of time on r/AskReddit"
n8lyons213 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Work talk:
I'll ask, "How's it going?"
"Living the dream!"
"Another day, another dollar!"
"Same shit, different day!"
"Best day ever!"
CrunchHardtack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Another day in paradise
Dead_HumanCollection ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These sound like canned npc responses in a game.
right_rudder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"you people"
obsilord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Gucci"
As in "looks Gucci", "sounds Gucci" etc.
Dorathor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not flaming, I'm just saying the truth"
blubernabber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Trash"
Annnichka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What had happened was..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know what I mean?"
liammurphy007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is" this platitude usually after someone at work failed to have a plan or ignored a prediction that if we went down this path we'd end up with this mess...example- when we won the war in Iraq but failed to have a plan to rebuild. "Yelp, it is what it is!"
EricKei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not ____, but ... " (where is something like "racist/sexist/homophobic, etc)
Just stop right there. Yes, yes you are ____. If you weren't, you wouldn't feel the need to act so defensive about it. Besides, Whenever someone starts out with that line, the very next thing they say disproves their "disclaimer."
dbrown122 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say "the struggle is real" yeah, I doubt you know what a real struggle is...
YanDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
''I could care less.'' Then do. Dick.
D3dshotCalamity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I personally believe..." Immediately don't like what they are about to say.
pansie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but ..."
HolyMollyGodBless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Believe me, kid. I've had a ton of experience."
nerdsten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Swag"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God has a plan. Or. God works in mysterious ways.
Oh, thanks. I'm grieving over my wife getting hit by a bus. But random lady at work tells me (an atheist) that God fucked us on purpose. (Hypothetical example, wife was actually hit by cement truck).
NotRoosterTeeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offence, but"
99% of the time it is either out of place, rude or didn't need to be said...or all 3
Kyo188 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me art my best." No Marilyn Monroe didn't say this and that's not an excuse to be a bitch.
Hanser17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Err nah"
This apparently replaces "or no?" at the end of a sentence. I think it makes you sound unintelligent.
Kai_Lan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lel is a horrible, horrible word. My SO used to say it all the time, surprised I only stabbed her once tbh
Dead_HumanCollection ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
kek
michael1026 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine keeps saying "lit". No idea what the fuck it means, but it pisses me off. "Tomorrow is going to be lit", "I was so lit", "That was lit".
VAPossum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know you don't like anime, but let me tell you all about my favorite anime. I bet you'll change your mind!"
mallad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lately the marketing with a few words as sentences. Some are appropriate. Most aren't. And some are just silly. If you have three points to make with one word each, sure!
"Eat. Sleep. Reddit." That makes sense.
"Reading. Is. Fun." That does not.
Also when people refer to permanent jobs as 'full time'. As in, 'well I'm just temping now but hopefully they'll hire me on full time!' "Oh how many hours do you work now?" '40' "So you're already full time" 'No I'm temporary"
HolyMollyGodBless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like, literally..."
Grimparrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bless your heart"
Jackie_Treehorn99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool beans
katha757 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't even understand..." when talking about petty bullshit. This isn't exactly rocket science asshole, I think I can comprehend what you're talking about just fine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo.
Still love you ray <3
Juapp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but....."
WheresMyMoneyDenny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's okay, we're conducting a social experiment..."
PushButtonKitchen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pacifically? I mean, do you want the pacific phrase that they use?
rg90184 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check your privilege
magnum129 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm no good with computers" their job is to use the computer...
crinshawpete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I fell up the stairs" it makes no sense.
theyork2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Merica
iamaneviltaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"SJW".
It's almost always someone who's about to (or just did) say some foul shit about other people. The phrase literally has no meaning anymore, besides "someone who calls me out on being an asshole".
Cuck is another good one. Really, the best you have as an insult is a vaguely racist implication that I like watching other people fuck my girlfriend? That's a solid leap of logic for someone to make.
_RightMeow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yaaaaaas"
ahuggablecactus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You have to know the rules to be able to break them."
lowdivebomber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anyone who says that they give 110%
mumzieee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I answer the phone at work "thank you for calling <my workplace>, this is mumzieee." And the caller says "yes hi, may I speak to mumzieee please?"
Even if they were only half listening they'd hear something that at least sounds like mumzieee and put it together, right? Nope. This tells me they weren't paying any attention at all.
Oh, and when someone calls and asks for a phone number then says "hold on lemme get something to write with". Wtf! Get your shit together!
SammaDynamite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't upvote
70m4h4wk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When I was an engineer..."
saiah123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"FWM" or "ctfu"
Queen_of_the_Realm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I swear, I'm not a liar. "
embaked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'in my humble opinion' - ain't nothing humble about you spouting your opinion.
canaryflutter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have friends that are black...
SkulloWorld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's your star sign?"
YetiBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swag
nowaythisnameistaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"as a vegan..."
waterdropsinajar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bore off"
It sends me from calm to stabby instantly.
allenme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: Not sure why I'm being downvoted.
Edit: bring on the downvotes, I feed on them!
TheDescendingLight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We need to talk...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any time some one says "praise Jesus" or " thank you Jesus"...
HylianZora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Swag, YOLO"
BaconisComing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So I saw a thread on Reddit". We know, we all browse Reddit daily, give it a rest.
Ballzajizz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say : "im a citizen of the world".
mesh1er ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's up Chief?"
Wcoburn93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says (name) A.K.A. (anything)
Trucein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Dank memes"
Noodle36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Free Mumia
godisadog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everyone has his own opinion"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
agree to disagree. That is just someone giving up on an argument
wwildflower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In some cases though, it's necessary!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
we'll just have to agree to disagree on that
CptPickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im just, like, ditzy!"
Why do girls think that makes them attractive??
theland10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"brah"
Henessey1993 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
firstrival ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Lo and Behold"
Fuck people that say that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "stay tuned" when you ask about something that's not finished yet. Just fucking say its not finished, I'm not going to "stay tuned" to your stupid fucking thing which is prob going nowhere anyway.
mcdougishole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who lists "sarcasm" as a language they speak.
Khad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Could care less
dstroyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a scientist, but..."
ironic_user-name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"lets kill all of the jews!"
floyd41376 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Gitter done." "Hammer it down." "Stand tall." "Put it to bed." "Harder, faster and more efficient." And any other stupid phrase my bosses say to make me get my work done.
Eudeamonia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't understand that computer stuff" (with a clear intention to never understand it).
So what do you do all day at work? You sit at a computer don't you? You have a PHD in <insert degree name> too?
mootsfox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Literally" (exception for legit uses)
neurad1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who call me "big guy". Yeah, I'm fat.
Triingtoohard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then you just go ahead and do this thing. No, just fucking do the thing, we don't need to go anywhere to do the thing.
orwelltheprophet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything along the lines of "You need to be a good patriotic citizen and give up everything to the state because of 9/11 and terrorism."
JugV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People that use the word "defiantly" incorrectly. "Oh, yeah, that party tonight? We are defiantly going." FUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUU
Malarkay79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People do this? In real life? While speaking? I've seen it typed like this a lot, and that drives me crazy. If someone actually said it, though, it'd be even more craziness inducing.
JugV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've only seen it in type not heard it in conversation. I don't think I could let them live if they actually spoke the word in front of me.
Malarkay79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh good. Yeah, I'm with you. I'd probably stare at them with crazy eyes while desperately trying not to murder them.
Fretfulwaffle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Git r dun
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone uses the word "privileged" you know it's about to get bad.
NerdFencer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I keep whining and whining until I win'
Stevoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thats just the way I feel". Your feelings are important, but they don't dictate reality.
weekend_here_yet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh! Since I already have you on the phone..."
Then they follow up with a whole laundry list of shit that needs to be done immediately that they've known about for over a day. These assholes always seem to call you 2 minutes before the workday ends.
Really? You couldn't email or call me with these issues earlier!? Makes me die a little inside.
Bickus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"a couple [anything]", rather than "a couple of [anything]".
uncoolkiller7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can confirm that some people in Louisiana actually do believe that. Just recently graduated from LSU so I know.
theidiotfromla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What are those " "Bruh bruh"
SasquatchHunter69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Jesus will take the wheel" and other phrases that are used to people dont have to be responsible for the repurcussions of their own actions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a "insert any arbitrary identifier" .
puckmagician96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do yourself a favor and check out [insert slightly obscure TV show, movie, or band]"
BdaysWasTheWorstDays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know who I am? Do you know who my father is...?
LowPiasa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How are we doing today?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We's doin good today, masa.
pabstblueribbonpapi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people call people/places/things "ghetto" in a disparaging manner.
savageartichoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but....."
d_smogh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going on my holibobs.
At the end of the day.
Are you enjoying yourself.
mccandel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"UTILIZE"
jmcgee408 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...just sayin
Darksoulja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it's kosher" when used as an expression
Akelon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hella"
jdemmett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Long story short...
I hate hearing that. Most times it's on the tail end of a long, boring story.
andyman2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but...."
Nothing good ever follows that phrase, and my opinion of you plummets when you say it.
xaduha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but some words like "entitled", "pretentious", etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who would say anything similar to " It was totally worth!"
zambartas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go Cowboys!
bgiarc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much any sentence that involves god, god please do this or god would/will do that etc...... If you don't like what i just said keep it to yourself, a question was asked and i answered. If my answer offends you sorry, at least i didn't go into detail as to why it makes me dislike someone strongly, but that is what i think & feel.
Sambalsotong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I never sit economy class before' basically some loaded prick showing off
Daves-crooked-eye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And you know me bro, I blah blah blah"
Nobody but you thinks you're special or memorable enough to pay attention to your insecurities.
"Oh shit, that's Tom. He doesn't care. He'll fight Mike Tyson for a million dollars...."
fluffyhairdontcare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not gonna lie but..."
BillNyeForPrez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The end is near." or "It's the end of times!"
I live in Utah so it's something I hear at least weekly. It's so pessimistic and ungrateful towards all of the people that did so much to make the world what it is today. War and infant mortality are at an all-time low. Standard of living is at an all-time high. We've eradicated smallpox and just... Fuck. Life is so good for us.
money0107 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cashier: "Would you like a bag?" Customer : "No I left her at home. Hahaha"
Wtf am I supposed to say to that?
tulipsmash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word "intention" or "intentional".
I had a friend that got scammed into landmark forum. She used the word intentional constantly. It had no meaning anymore. It just makes me crazy.
ekoral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"amazeballs"
wwildflower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying 'I could care less' when they mean 'I couldn't care less'. Pisses me off and some people don't even understand when I try to explain the difference.
tulipsmash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word "intention" or "intentional".
I had a friend that got scammed into landmark forum. She used the word intentional constantly. It had no meaning anymore. It just makes me crazy.
madtenors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I think all (insert service/commodity) should be free"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it is what it is" its infuriating to hear this every time something bad happens across multiple jobs. "what it is" is annoying as that kid in hs who would always ask you "WANNA HEAR THE MOST ANNOYING SOUND IN THE WORLD?!?!?"
rilliam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...MY FRIEND."
Poesghost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah let's see, top of my list is:
Sniper3CVF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I bet I get more Instagram likes than you" or "I get more likes than you"
ProfessorCard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On Reddit: "This will probably get buried but..." Good ! Fuck off into your hole. Real Life: "It was meant to be" Oh yeah ? Says who ?
crazywoj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
re-post
ProfessorCard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oops, thanks !
trimarily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please stop using the word "literally", even though it's not a phrase.
Like a rotting apple, if it gets into your vocabulary, most of what you're saying is probably trash (unless it's used correctly).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Work hard, play hard." Congratulations on working hard and playing hard and being a huge douche nozzle.
lopoke89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone says memes in person.
lonely_kitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in retail. So, "what can YOU do for ME?" Is real fucking annoying.
jeffad61 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses 'boss' when addressing me. I automatically distrust the person.
atownfasho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams.
12rjc12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Truth hurt?
RollThatD20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only (group of people) can be (reprehensible thing). "
Hawkerhurricane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(From a woman) "I prefer guys as friends, women are too dramatic".
No, you're probably just a bitch.
benjhs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's so gay!"
Esquiror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I quote, "I mean....I'm not saying, I'm just saying.." No. I have no fucking clue what you are actually saying now, because you won't take ownership over anything.
BlademasterFlash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disrupting the (blank) industry
collinlmu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been dabbling in dating apps and I HATE when women say variations of "treat me like a princess."
JaySqueeze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hella. I don't know if people still say it, but it was way too popular on the west coast a couple years ago. Shit drove me crazy when everything was hella.
JugV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Australia, that saying has degenerated into "hells". As in "hells yeah". Sigh. It's just as likely to make me want to smash someone's face into a light pole.
alpharaptor1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What sign are you?
Aperium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"[We] need to go 'coon hunting in Washington D.C."
mp82rw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege."
Get fucked, you prejudicial cunt rag.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that starts with "Why don't you...". Because I'm fucking stupid, that's why.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist... But...."
KingNosmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't mean to be rude, but...."
Kng5017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Much needed"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And whatnot
allisonweebles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"me likey"
i_are_been ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who starts their sentence, "No offense meant, but...."
Alex3324 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
CopyCenterPhil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"In my heart of hearts"... Ugh.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Have you been saved?"
Instant, I hate you.
thatnewblackguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a racist, but...
LittleDinghy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not a [blank], so you don't get an opinion."
pUnqfUr5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally
CanISayDelicious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Think outside the box" - fuck you. There is no way to do that
FANCYBOYZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interests: traveling/ seeing the world/going to new places/ experiencing new cultures
Like no shit. A: you don't like traveling, you like vacations. B: fuck you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Totes" Ughhhhh whyyyyy That's totes amazeballs is even worse
azambella11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Literally".
nicksgo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God is always good"
Since how?!
englishichistnicht ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, so you're one of those people who (...)" Bitch, you don't know shit about me.
spaceman6000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I bet you sixty dollars that my semen tastes like passion fruit"
xownagex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privelege"...
12rjc12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was Gods 's will, usually said after something tragic.
throesofdespair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, objectively..."
Nah, man. That's just, like, your opinion, man.
stateful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's the ask?
ShmuelJudak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"America in used to be great."
We're 50 years removed from protestors being hit with fire hoses and having dogs sicked on them while protesting for the right to basic civil equality.
NewYorkMade93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love the Red Sox"
seventeen_years ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I, like, don't have any girl friends. I just hang out with guys. So much less drama."
electrictrumpet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"WHAT IS IT, AMATEUR NIGHT? "
ThorHungarshvalden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what is is"
"I get it, I get it."
rainbowWar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing - everyone has some value
jhickey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime I tell someone something and they respond with "I know." No, you didn't know, that's why I had to tell you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Evolution's just a theory.
sauerkrautpolka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Are we having fun yet?"
randomzinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's 1 800...
vinnyd01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
NoEscapingGravity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SMH.
TheFault_Line ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Them: Yeah, I can play guitar. (Plays "stairway to heaven") Me: No, you can play "stairway to heaven"
vinnyd01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the day.
theblackhand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says whilst is a complete fucking asshole.
Caedro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but...
winnersbitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm such a nice person"
DruidOfFail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just me personally, but when I hear "when our sixth kid was born".
MentORPHEUS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm happy all the time and live each day to the fullest!"
-Majority of dating site profiles. I call BS on both!
HowardEhm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so bi-polar" giggles
jesuswasarallydriver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is". Screw you if you say this. It's a half assed noncommittal reflexive barf of an explanation for a situation you find yourself participating in but have neither the vocabulary to describe nor the testicular fortitude to extract yourself from. I have never heard anyone I admire use this phrase, only those I think mostly suck. The people who use that phrase make my asshole twitch with contempt.
Schwalby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now, lemme ask you this.
Pinguin1884 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"men are useless" pretty much anything that's strongly against men in general.
juniorspaghetti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm kinda weird/crazy/cool/random like that."
If you have to state that, I won't believe you for a second.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We all have to die sometime!"
Ok, you die first.
Jontologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those who end a comment with 'Period.', 'The End.' or 'End of story.', seemingly to indicate that their point of view is unassailable.
Fuck off. Period.
yusbarrett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ANYTHING THAT IS WRITTEN IN CAPITALS MAKE ME HATE THE PERSON RIGHT AWAY. IT'S SO DAMN ANNOYING
DayvyT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/theydidthemonstermath
B-Town-MusicMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
...in your case, one can only hope.
SecretlyPig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm born to the wrong generation" "I'm 15 but I'm really mature for my age"
Parksy79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but (insert racist words here)"
Not cool to do.
CommanderAmander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but "cool beans" usually indicates the person saying it is a tool.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"le reddit army has arrived!"
wiener_dawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO"
anu26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ambiguous, emotionally open-ended Facebook statuses designed to have people comment shit like "Oh no, what happened", or "there, there" or some such shit.
Like "today was a day to realise the true feelings of emotions and now I know who the backstabbing bitch is" or something of the sort.
Instant delete.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For Sure"
Friend and his girlfriend used this non-stop all the fucking time...
It's like "yes" didn't exist in their vocabulary, just "for sure"...
There are a HUGE amount of ways to say "yes" why did you pick this one and only this one.
Funky__socks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's whatever."
and
"You do you."
iwantthisnowdammit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ever play the Kevin Bacon game?
MilkFirstThenCereaI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't vaccinate my kids
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Design.
Anarch_Angel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The bell does not dismiss you, I do"
Anything about demanding respect.
razamatazzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone is proud of being: a bitch, a douche, a dick, an ass hole, shallow, close-minded
extion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't play inverted."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all are ignant!
Icarium13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like Nickleback
_Hewie_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost any phrase containing the words "Kardashian" or "Jenner".
DukeOfWar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'What you're going to do is...'
I work in customer service and this is the fastest way to get me to shut down any hopes of helping you in any way.
lilgremmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I'm not racist, but...'
Nope. You're definitely racist.
G17RTF2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hope and change
kidbucket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't hate ______, I hate everyone equally!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up
CaffeinatedT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All lives matter" or similar reactionary statements. No shit sherlock, that isn't the point though. To me as a white, straight male who pretty much won the lottery in terms of not getting shit. This statement shows someone up as too dumb to think about how others get treated under a system and/or arent interested in fair play/engaging with other people constructively.
bannana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'high five!'
HowardEhm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not even black, you're lightskin!"
DevonLovelock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't make me hate someone, except every internet headline writer on the planet...."Insane". Usually used as a click-baiting headline. "Kim Kardashian took an INSANE bikini selfie" "The 2015 Mustang GT did an INSANE run at Nurburgring." "10 new INSANE apps for Android!" "Our editors just played GTA V, and it was INSANE!"
flimsyfresh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how many people I've upset over the years. I agree with some of these phrases, but I don't see what's wrong with some of the others. Oh well...to each his own.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Along with "the Lord has a plan for everyone".
You can't say this when it only works on your favor and have no logical response. If that's really the case then sometimes the Lord's plan must include the death penalty or being aborted. Can't have it both ways people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
triggered, in the tumblr sense
McLovin4206969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a racist or anything buuuutttttt......
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You working hard or hardly working?
ChicagoLurkGod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well it's a good thing it doesn't affect you/ or it's a good thing it's not your's" my girlfriend says this when I disagree with her about something
BigBrothersBrother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're going to feel a little prick"
nyalriv580 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I've never tried it but I know I don't like it"
Culinarytracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You make a good point. I'm gonna use the rocket surgery one sometime though.
WyattDerpp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word privilege used in a sanctimonious way
Mountain_Dew_Me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a vegetarian
Rendoog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm too lazy to do 'xyz.'"
This irritates the hell out of me and makes me want to backhand you so hard you'd have four tally marks on your cheek; especially when 'xyz' is something menial and you're complaining about it anyways (like complaining "I'm hungry" but you say you're too lazy to get something to eat).
oreogopher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That being said. Because of a manager that couldn't address the group without his comfort phrase.
Sheamless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but.....
I'm not a racist but......
I don't normally say this but.....
I support breastfeeding but......
I support gay marriage but.......
NO! No you do not. Stupid butters...
berrojaslpz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like Donald Trump...
rd_drgn67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hella. Fuck you, Nor Cal...
Crain_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm ___ years young"
Why do people think they're so clever when they say this?
hoybowdy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear what you're saying.
In my head, this translates to "I understand you just said some words, but I refuse to even consider that they may have meaning because I am not interested in taking your point of view seriously, or reconsidering my own."
My therapist mother and I did a year of therapy. Sucked, and didn't help.
3literz3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason!"
Usually uttered by a vacuous teenage girl.
rndmusr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason" No sorry it doesn't.
bluemoonraccoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Needless to say...". Done with that phrase, it has absolutely no real meaning at this point.
CGrizzy6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hang out with all guys because I hate drama."
Bull. You are the drama starter, and girls don't like you at all.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In referencing the what music someone listens to:
"I listen to everything"
DGweekly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says "hype" as in, "get hype, bro! This weekend is gunna be sick!"
Someone can hype you up, but then you become "hyped."
Bladecutter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Problematic.
morat11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyways...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gitr done.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The fact of the matter is.."
DannySian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Waddup gangstas
JabbuSoChou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I say what I want to say, if you don't like it then tough sh#%"
It's totally fine to have your own opinion but saying this is not a disclaimer for being a douche and not be surprised when people get offended by it. There is a difference between being someone direct and true to themselves, and someone who can also have tact and gather their thoughts rather than running their mouth off and cause drama.
Take responsibility for your own words, actions and how it makes those around you feel.
Jrdirtbike114 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Come to find out"
ScrotoJustice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
im very proud to be a socialist
abfroh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cool beans"
po822000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ayn Rand"
charonco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that includes "a whole 'nother".
Laser_Lens_4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"nucular power"
Warpslide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hot enough for ya?"
hand_banana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got an email today about a guy who called in about his deceased wife. The subject line: his wife past away.
I work in a law firm...
user6580 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That deeply odfends me"
After someone tells a joke or was just telling a story. People who want you to shut up so you don't hurt their fee-fees
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Fuck you.
JangSaverem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Trigger warning"
If I am about to read something titled "how my sister was murdered" I think I already know its about fucking murder. I dont need you to baby me before I read something. Sure, warn me about graphic violence or whatever but told treat me like a child who cannot comprehend that the context of what I am reading or looking at may be uncomfortable.
Postboned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling people sheep.
rndmusr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sheeple better?
mjkeller77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just the word "Selfie". I automatically assume you are a self-absorbed bitch/dickhead.
AWalkingDisaster97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Er mah gerd instantly makes me hate someone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
foreverabookjunkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's what she said" ... I want to stab you.
Troutmandoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just being honest."
No. You just said something totally hurtful and shitty and now you're trying to hide behind "honesty". Same goes for "I'm just keeping it real." or "I'm just a blunt person". No - you're a complete dick. Even if what you said actually WAS honest, you either didn't have to say it, or you said it for the express purpose of hurting someone else, you dick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses the word "buddy".
IndistinctChattr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Please do the needful."
When pointing out a situation, but not providing any direction as to what the 'needful' is. It's the equivalent of "You know what you should do, so please go do it.", and in most cases it's said to the person who is not even accountable for it.
schwagnificent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm my own worst critic.
nearfal08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love you to the moon and back. I don't know why, it just pisses me off.
ZiegZeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using axe instead if ask. Don't know why.
AirosoriA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sure."
cattrinalove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God willing
anewview2c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I don't like when people say," It is what it is.". There is no reason to state the obvious in such an obnoxious way. It seems like people are saying this a lot and it irritates me so much but, it is what it is.
GuoKaiFeng ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool beans.
sleepinlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I for one welcome our new ________ overlords," "you have been banned from r/pyongyang/you are now moderator of r/pyongyang," "well that escalated quickly"
DMcCallister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Actually, the word you probably meant to say was..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense, but...
zachthesuperjew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A waiter or waitress that says "Are you still working on that?" I know its their first time meeting you but I absolutely hate that.
foxhoundftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People when commenting on things they like by saying "This". Or when theyre very excited "This times 1000" or whatever number they deem worthy.
Poontanglips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like, when people, like, say "like," like, a lot, like, ya know?
Gaminguitarist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am guilty of this and the word "dude". I am a teenager though.
Hicrayert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ xxxxx good xxxxxx savior xxxxx.
Funke-munke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Been there done that. I cringe typing it
montywoodpeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I guess it just wasn't meant to be."
UltimusStatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool Beans.
Snowy1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can tell a lot about someone from m their shoes..."
92759275 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't even." "What even?"
Or anything similar. It sounds like they aren't finishing their sentence and it bugs the shit out of me. My ex used to do it all the time. Now she's my ex.
Zamugustar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less" this one makes me lose any respect I may have had for the person.
Funke-munke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh and "pacific" in place of specific
peiden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not my fault"
Maybe it isn't, maybe you totally got screwed over, but if you want to convince someone else of that you need to learn to build a cohesive argument and take responsibility for whatever role you played in it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Gaminguitarist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that phrase. God I would kill anyone who says that.
rahjman11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you pick up a take out order from a restaurant and when you pay the cashier says, "So, I guess no tip tonight?" Of course you're not getting a tip because you DIDN'T wait on me.
wittlesswonder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just a hopeless romantic."
When you know personally that they are ultra selfish assholes. So pretty much hypocrisy bothers me.
Faffles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
irregardless
EkriirkE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool Beans
Caboose2013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
Phreakiture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"In this post 9/11 world . . . "
9/11 was almost 14 years ago. We need to stop picking at that scab so it can heal.
Lord_Vectron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Life's a bitch"
No, you are choosing to be a bitch.
letschat90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YASSSS"
nothing worse.
Duhe25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Netflix and Chill".
my-other-account3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
AskGasket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You have a light?"
nuggetsofpoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just saying."
Bobbyjones709 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't beat them join them"...my phrase is if you can't beat them kill them
KeatingOrRoark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Greater good".
You mean the good you deem to be greater than mine. And it's your excuse to steamroll over my desires in order to reach yours.
londongarbageman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My family has been here for generations"
Or
"But it's the way we've always done it"
Yeah and your dying shit small town is your family's legacy and you're completely blind to it. That sometimes things need to change to get better.
psyencefiction0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We've always done it that way."
The biggest hurdle in Quality Engineering. Context doesn't even matter. I immediately assume it applies to how you make love to an immediate blood relation, too. Makes me chuckle to myself every time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only God can judge me!"
Well God thinks you're a slut, too.
muSikid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He is Bae!" God I fucking hate that! Sounds like a fucking goat.
GBinAZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
person A: So where are you from? person B: Oh, I'm from all over....
No you're not from all over. You came from one place.
Gaminguitarist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god there was this stupid dumb girl who wouldn't understand the simple fucking question of "what race are you?". I've always asked, and she would say different races every time. But the worst part is whenever I make a very small lighthearted racist joke, she just turns around and acts offended. Apparently she's all the races from what she said. But I still don't know what she is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Top Kljasd.
Skate50mph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im just saying.."
Like "you're being a total dick right now!" me: "fuck you" or whatever Them "I'm just saying.."
Like saying that after gives them a pass and makes it okay.
Iamsavj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"They don't understand anyway" when referred to children.
A sponge soaks up piss and water the same.
sterling_mallory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"lel"
"kek"
JoshEatsPringles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that from target?
betta-believe-it ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"something something was legit.." I just hate the word legit now and it ruins any phrase and my respect for whatever you say immediately preceding or following.
Havok310 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference"
That phrase shouldn't be a thing. If it's the same, there is no difference. How "Same thing" became "Same difference" sometime in the last 20 years I'll never know...
chemtrails250 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wake up sheeple!"
bendershead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All my exes are crazy."
ritchie70 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using "ask" as a noun.
"Here's my ask..."
Guido01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If I were to Guestimate"
uhh...what?
klawehtgod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hijacking the top comment
JamesonRH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any supervisor that starts a sentence with "moving forward."
That, and when people say "Your perception is your reality."
Blurpblurp12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people I barely know say shit "hey there trouble" or " hey what's up , u staying out of trouble? It's a terrible way to start a 1 min conversation of bullshit small talk.
IndieChap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"the illegals did _____"
masterk2014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You really shouldn't use that word."
What a retarded sentence...
rockstang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Give me your wallet.
Burford206 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually.........
Just stop you sound like an asshole.
jumperalex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
blah blah blah ... that's just how I was raised.
I instantly think you are a asshole.
HxcHadoken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's your sign?"
cavilier210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"privileged cis scum!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who buts into a conversation with "I personally think" followed by their ignorant opinion.
ragecomics64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's a free country I can do what I want."
jredwards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The definition of insanity is--"
No. Not it's not. Stop talking right now.
ieoopsadiufpiausdf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're lucky". Luck has nothing to do with success. That is a myth unsuccessful people tell themselves to feel better.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be fair"
peter_the_panda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"People tell me i look like Gary Busey when i smile"
Jaymongous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Someone has a case of the Mondays"
d1squiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason.". No. No, it does not. Not the reason you're thinking of.
TrptJim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's so funny! ELL OHH ELL!!!! ELL EMM AYY OWWW" They must be destroyed to save us all.
darkhorse44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a person describes his or herself as, "Yea, I'm pretty chill."
bigmansam45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally [insert mataphor]
No, my friend, you mean metaphorically.
vancouverbc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It was meant to be," or really anything related to fate. Ugh.
FlirtyFreckles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[In reference to their significant other] "My man" or "My lady"
LincolnTehFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not all of [them] are [this]; just most of them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ridonculous
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not racist if it's true!" No. It's still racist.
Cytokine-Storm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The truth is racist, it seems.
Freeagnt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The metric to measure the shareholder's...
Gaminguitarist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"New year new me" Cause honestly, why the fuck do you need to do it when the year changes?
Any phrase with the word "opinion". You're not a kid, you shouldn't have to hear someone say that. It's obvious that they have an opinion. Saying that just makes it seem that the person thinks you're not mature or that you're too dumb to understand anything.
Bobbyboyle1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." I'm allowed to be annoyed or dissapointed at times.
ferguson_cop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Another day, another dollar
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Good Times."
sexybabyxxx6969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blu-ray
The_Crystal_Gem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like a boss"
1Direwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a racist, but...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't do my work until you fix [whatever it is]"
I do I.T., but I'm not on the help desk team. If you "can't work" when your 2nd monitors power cable is loose "for the third day in a row", I'm taking your monitor away until help desk can get to it!
NoPepperGames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Think about it"
This phrase comes immediately after some half-baked bullshit theory they thought up when they were drunk/stoned, and couldn't arse themselves to think about it their own damn selves. YOU think about it, and come back when you have a complete thought.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"It's just a game"
Yeah, but other people are in it. If they express displeasure at your antics, then you should stop being a twat, else you risk alienating everyone around you, and then no one has fun, not even you, the self-center('d) of the universe.
Also; "Relevant XKCD". There are so many other webcomics out there, and yet everyone only over uses this one? You can do better, Reddit.
Call_me_Cassius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
''Human nature''
RoxinRollin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YELLO! instead of hello!
_Vetis_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Legitly"
IndiansBillsCavs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Epiccc
UmbrellaCommittee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I keep whining and whining until I win'
black_gallagher1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not good at tests, I'd rather write a paper" Oh, you mean you aren't good at the thing that tells you if you are smart or not?
kkamikami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But you know this is how I am!" When they are continuously being the ultimate douchebag and you finally call them out on it.
CheezRavioli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to vote for Trump"
gosutag ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:21:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel the same way when someone says they're voting for Hillary or Bernie.
deamont ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they talk like BRos or try to hit on every single woman they see including ones next to the one they just hit on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In regards to.
Woof.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excessive use of the word "yo." It makes you sound like a moron.
gosutag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yo yo yo.
woh1110 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I digress" - I had a teacher that did it all the time. It is pretentious as hell.
PlatinumMinatour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Actually,..."
Starting a sentence with "actually" is almost never needed, and it makes you sound like a know-it-all. Just drop the "actually" and say what you were going to say.
ohemgeewhiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a racist but...
Delarvin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
LRose1825 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is..."
I understand that occasionally this is an accurate assessment however I feel that it's a horribly overused phrase and as a result any time I hear it I want to punch the person who said it.
twinkypinkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege" ranks up there for me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Net net. As in " net-net, we need to have another meeting with all the key players"
DannyXopher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tinder: I'm a (X) connoisseur, (X) enthusiast and (X) aficionado
jj100117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you thrive?
CombativeUtopian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone starts a sentence with "Please do".
PM_ME_YOUR_GLUE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know nuthin"
Double negatives please.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So what do you think?"
When someone randomly asks me that with no clear motive as to what I'm supposed to give my opinion on.
Hawly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't quite know what to think about abortions. I'm all for killing babies, but I don't like the idea of giving women a choice."
pennhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, we don't watch TV."
hapahapa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"See what you made me do?" Usually said by someone who can't own their actions.
Dougth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't mean to interrupt, but..." (Huh? Yes you do!!!)
I_Smoke_Dust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The future is now/here" no, the present is now...
bryanbuchanan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm an entrepreneur", or even worse, "I'm a serial entrepreneur".
royalstaircase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't take anyone on reddit that says SJW or feminzai seriously.
TheDetective13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll vote for Trump."
TOF5U ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wanderlust
its a word but it annoys the fuck out of me, if u want to travel, do it.
Paulitical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't, I just can't"
What are you? A fucking old wealthy woman from the 1920's?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know like when like someone is all like infatuated with saying "Like".
LaxNomad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No means yes! Yes means anal!"
wowsux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This looks like starwars...This isn't a compliment!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imma just gonna reach out to all you h8rs.
droo46 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The feels.
etanolx04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Looking through all of the responses here, I realized that I will come to dislike humanity.
suijuri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From the show Big Brother: I don't want to get blood on my hands, I just wanna see where your head is at, it could put a huge target on my back.
xxBRxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Pennies from heaven!" As someone who plows snow, this is the joke every other person with a snow plow decides to spew out
BrocanGawd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am a feminist"
Sarfang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want to sound racist, but...
Melaniazulm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Man up"
TheyCallMeShitHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I got a 6 inch lift and a bully dog chip on my diesel truck"
ant-on-computer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, look, I'm a [insert random animal] whisperer!"
No, you're not. You're brushing a goat while he's asleep.
Also, "I have [insert animal] at home, so you don't have to tell me the rules." And then they start petting Chadwick's face. BITCH, HE'S ABOUT TO FUCKING OWN YOU!
Lola_is_Tifa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be racist/sexist/offensive but...
whatever follows that is always whatever you just said you are not trying to be.
AwesomeGuy847 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae. Or any variation of it. Just let it die. For the love of what ever deity or demon will listen just let it die.
JJBS1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I seen _______" rather than I saw. Idk how this is a problem but it is and it bothers me to no end.
Deportedfob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I was born in the wrong generation/time" or "I wish i was born in insert year"
thezac2613 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's gnar bro! I get it you're trying to be cool, but just stop, you're being illiterate.
Voodoo_Hex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What do you want me to do? Drop my pants and shoot off fireworks?"
My dad's favorite thing to say when I was younger and I was just hoping he would be proud of me. It's funny to me now but when I was a kid it hurt my feelings because I just wanted him to say "good job son" when I showed him something I accomplished.
I get the meaning of the "joke" but I just wanted love damnit! If I heard someone say this to their child I'm pretty sure I'd have to slap them. You don't always have to be the funny one dad! It's okay to compliment your own damn child, not just turn it into a joke.
wheatfields ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SHOTS FIRED!!!
mandoplan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let me put it to you like this"
kaylaud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason"
kilsekddd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not my job"
watercolorrooster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says something along the lines of, "I don't care if they're gay, as long as they're not making out with dudes in front of me."
Like gay people are just making out all fucking over the place.
The_Unreal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Please advise."
Motherfucker, if you wrote me a question that shit is implied. If you didn't, that's too vague to do anything with in any case. JUST FUCKING ASK THE QUESTION.
DrizzyRizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"let me tell you about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ"
isayoldchap76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People that begin a sentence with "At the end of the day..." as a way of drawing a conclusion.
lookatmypackage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO - I just want to punch people who say this.
tog20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a phrase, but a word. When someone who I don't even know or someone I don't like calls me "buddy" I immediately don't like that person. I'm not your buddy.
It has a superior/inferior connotation associated with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It would be easier if you just did it"
Well no kidding, it would be easier for YOU, but you asked me to show you how, not to just do it.
oranhunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
White privilege
itsbentheboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anything that includes "glitch"...
OFJehuty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Would of"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's when you know you're correct in an argument but instead of admitting they're wrong they say, Let's just agree to disagree."
Amizzilia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
Totally. I like to imagine it came from the first draft of MLK Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech.
Woods0319 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone uses the word "kudos".....uuuuhhhhhh(picture that woman from madtv)....gets my blood boiling and I want to throw shit(feces not stuff) at their face. Same kind of people the use words like synergistic....I got diarrhea just writing about this.
ShrubberyDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason...
Tuukkas_Milk_Crate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not to be racist or anything, but insert racist thing here"
momomotorboat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Totes"
kneeonblack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"for your information" aka FYI
Metal_Charizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not much of a reader."
I don't read anymore either, but have some pride, man. Don't go around admitting it.
Just-An-Asshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood the enormous respect books and reading get. First and foremost, it's an antiquated technology. I can read the same paragraph on my computer and then research a question I have. Can'[t get a question answered by a piece of paper. But if I tell you I read it in a book, only then am I considered worthy in of the pursuit of knowledge.
Besides, most "readers" I know don't pursue knowledge. The vast majority are reading fiction, but they are somehow regarded as intellectually superior because they read a lot.
I'm not knocking books, nor those that like to read a lot. I just hate this incessant notion we have as a society that Books > All. It's almost like it's become some lost martial art that grants enlightenment upon mastery.
fight_or_flight13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the kind of person that ______. Generally, you are not that type of person so stop emphasizing it!
PoobahTheGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who tells me blood is blue. My ex believes this more than she does Jesus Christ.
Bad_assness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Live, laugh, love. It's just so generic and on everything now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, GTA later? This was my idiot friend 5 minutes after arriving at a BBQ
GabrielD23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Omg you're such a baby!" only a year older -_-
mohallor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Person: disregards rules of game and fucks around the whole time
Me: Gets mildly angry
Person: Chill the fuck out man its just a game
nofanyone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"yummy in my tummy"
Keepingthethrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lets agree to disagree
austinw_568 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Vaccines cause autism" this one is self explanatory.
"Don't say/do (insert random non offensive thing here) or you'll trigger me." As if they're some kind of human weapon with no control over themselves after someone does something to "trigger" them.
eatlearndestroy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just google it"
BITCH I WANNA HEAR YOUR ANSWER
Foldemort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Potential" If you Follow League, you'll understand.
outtokill7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
folks
pickle_fucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day"
scarzncigarz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have gluten-free?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not my job to educate you!!"
Fine then stop arguing with me you moron.
8ballpoolking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TBH I don't know you but you seem chill
PrincessMarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A text I just recieved: "Everyday I'm less impressed with humankind. We're literally the worst in the world"
Or anything that goes along the lines of "I hate humans"
centsless43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not gonna lie..." before a benign statement
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any use of the word "fam" outside of referring to your immediate family as a whole.
Booney3721 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Know what'm sayin?" Like the kid off of We Are The Millers.
ashmez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man. I just watched that movie last night. I wanted to slap that guy. Ugh.
leadabae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime anyone uses the year as an argument. Like, "It's 2015, are we really still dealing with this?" Or, "I support _ because it's the 21st century!"
Like great, thanks for reminding me what year it is. Unfortunately that isn't evidence or support for any argument. It's meaningless.
tubahero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chillax
user_josh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you speak Indian? Like the fuck Indian is not a language shit head
MajorRIce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ratchet
PeanutButterSlut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah buddy". Fuck off.
SmokeMethInhalesatan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeeeeeee budddayyyyyy
ladislavman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'You can't do that!'
Well actually I can, maybe I shouldn't, but that doesn't mean I can't do it.
jay-ayron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i mean, ME personally, ........"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like to have fun" No shit, that's such a redundant phrase. We wouldn't have fun doing something we didn't like.
pacem19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cause that's a thing."
I understand that you're trying to be 'playfully ironic,' but it just sounds lazy and uninspired.
BBTiffiD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you invoke the First Amendment when the Federal Government isn't involved I assume you are an entitled piece of shit. E.g. insulting someone and then claiming they have a right to say it and you can't respond negatively. Yeah, you can say it, and I can call you on being a horrible person.
BrailleCAPTCHAExpert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, I don't like..." Context: in response to casually relating an experience or something benign. I wasn't asking for your opinion, but merely sharing as part of conversation. While that sounds dickish, when it's from a Negative Nancy who wants to be contrary and appear to have a superior opinion, in reality it broadcasts inferiority and social inteptness. I sit next to one of these at work.
jcoffey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep calm and..."
It actually has a good story and is now ruined by all the fucks who reuse it by changing one word.
LetMeGDPostAlready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hater."
No, I'm not a hater, I just disagree with you, but since labeling someone something negative is a lot easier than trying to defend your shitty point of view, just keep saying it, and it will look like you're winning to anyone who's as stupid as you.
SmokeMethInhalesatan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha I'm glad I'm not alone
LetMeGDPostAlready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What really sucks is the number of people will hear someone say something completely rational and justified, then hear someone else come back with , "You just a hater" and side with that person.
"Yeah! You're a hater! Stop being so negative!"
Some things deserve a negative response. Like... off the top of my head... you.
8ran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm from the struggle"
meinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ummm like
Spartanc9657 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bae"
Seriously, how much time are you saving by saying that?
GameofDrones45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be honest with you..." - it's like, so you're usually lying then?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"shots fired"
"that awkward moment when"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Please advise." Like nails on a chalkboard.
Jzero42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My bitch" I just can't...
SpiritFairy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is." No! Fuck you! There's a solution but you're just too lazy to acknowledge it!
superdrunk1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Job postings that use the word ninja, e.g. "join our talented team of fun-loving marketing ninjas." Or "Do you dream of being a graphic design ninja?"
Just the most fucking annoying shit.
Squarespace I'm looking at you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(on subject the person clearly has no information or knowledge about, and is spouting bullshit): well, people just have different opinions
except my misinformed and possibly bigoted one is right and yours is wrongscreams into pillow for eternity
kbugs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People that are starting a non tech business and tell everybody that they have a "StartUp". Motherfucker, you make muesli bars.
superdrunk1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also: "I'm a born leader."
No. No you're not.
Janagana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whip Nae Nae. I hate my kids.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Did you know Mars is about to get close enough to Earth that'll look as big as the moon?" stfu
robman117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When some one says "It's in the past get over it" mother fucker you stole from me and then think its ok cuz it happens a month ago, here let me shot some of and tell the cops to get over it because its in the past.
Vgint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO.
Just-An-Asshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never once seen this used in the wild. Aside from that stupid song the only place I ever see it is people bitching about it on Reddit.
crudmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Streetlamp Le Moose"
I know the guy died but the story was fucking lame.
If it was posted today it would instantly get 1000 /r/cringe responses.
gruubin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just business"
If someone says that, they just fucked you over. If they are completely devoid of business ethics, they are personally as well.
Just-An-Asshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, not necessarily. It's a legitimate sentiment that does get used by people being douchebags, but it certainly has a place.
I had to fire a friend one time. I liked him personally, I personally gained nothing from firing him, but he made to many mistakes on the job. It was just business, pure and simple.
JohnV199 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I lost respect for a co-worker when he said, "I fucking hate cops". He's one of those morons that think they're all the same. And he was mad that he got a ticket for speeding. Fucking tool.
lalakash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
known issue
ropa66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Words like "mansplaining" or "staycation"
Bahbahzor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not like the other girls."
nomorer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry, not sorry"
HolyPanda24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Age is just a number" I'm pretty sure age is a word, not a number.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I did a detox to get rid of all the chemicals in my body from processed food" -____-
thinksimfunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone does something the wrong way, and you explain to them the correct way of doing it and their response is:
"I know, but/I just thought/etc"
If you knew the right way to do it, why the fuck didn't you do it that way
Freakystyley209 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey dude check out this Nickleback song! It's AMAZING"
randomweej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"at the end of the day". What the actual fuck is that bullshit supposed to even mean.
TheKnobleSavage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In any review... "I really wanted to like this..."
sarcastroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really wanted to like your comment, but I just wasn't inspired.
TheKnobleSavage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant user name...
I-Downloaded-a-Car ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a coder" I instantly think you've been programming for a couple weeks and just figured out how a method works
1RedOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It works!"*
*In reference to the super silly health and quasi-medical supplements people sell, under the 'it works' brand.
Thatguywiththename1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mad bro?
JohnV199 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People that use the term "slay"
anglofornian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's going to be ok." (when they can't know what's wrong or if it will/can be) Someone said this to me the day a friend died. Nope. It won't.
Also: "Something better will come along." Most often used after a loss of some kind, this one really pisses me off. No, not necessarily. Dismissing a recent loss is not comforting, but thanks for playing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase that uses mad as an adjective in place of really. "That skirt is mad cute!" The word has a damn meaning. Use it correctly you moron.
Besteira_Infernal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't watch TV"
yes-we-want-nachos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not to brag but...."
OuttaSightVegemite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day".
Stop it.
7fingersphil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate drama
Tweakly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sucks to suck"
It just doesn't make sense to me.
Just-An-Asshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard that one before but I'm not sure what's so hard to comprehend? All it's saying is "it's be shitty to be you since you're so shitty at this thing we are currently doing."
KFCNyanCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"ALL men/whites/straight people/non-disabled people are sexist/racist/homophobic/ableist!"
And no, I don't fit into all of those categories, I'm not white or non-disabled.
geraldsummers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Irregardless"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" Hook em' "
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You just let [chosen deity] punish them in the afterlife."
That has to be the lamest excuse for inaction and general moral lethargy ever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just going to hit up my Bae"
VengefulVegan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Think outside the box."
flyingmeteor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any time anyone says "irregardless"
mayhem82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Solid".
sctrlk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I read online..." when talking about something matter-of-factly.
Woods0319 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, Nickleback......in any form, format, or context and "bless your/his/her heart.
SlyReference ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one can judge me but god.
barpredator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So edgy" or derivations thereof. Just admit you don't have a cogent response and move on.
MattOrchard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Australian resident here
Not a phrase but a word: 'Yous' meaning 'you guys/people'
ammoprofit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
The sentiment behind it is fine, but most people use it as an excuse to act like a fucking cunt.
Just-An-Asshole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even feel the sentiment is ok. We're all flawed humans who get emotional and act a fool from time to time. That's no reason to expect someone you love to eat your shit. The second part is even worse IMO, some notion that you are so awesome the mere potential of you not being a total cunt is earned by eating your shit with a grin and begging for more.
Anyone who says this statement gets mind fucked with a flaming cactus.
ammoprofit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good points!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know enough to be dangerous."
No, you know enough to fuck shit up and won't be able to fix it.
Tomnomnomas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
CosmicAscension ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That mcdouble will lead to my onset diabetes? Well YOLO son, you gonna eat those fries?"
ObiVanShinobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even type it out it pisses me off so much.
mitchsn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you know who I am?
Lithium_12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the way the cookie crumbles
pressured_at_19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep slayin' boi
Narwhal_Slayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a person uses the word "Mad", to an excess. Or incorrectly
Example: "Dude, there was mad people there!"
Waffleman75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not religious but I'm spiritual.
Bandenburg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm into all music. Except for country."
ashmez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, what if they really don't like country?
Bandenburg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean you don't have to like country. But that seems to be the stock response in generic music conversation. Seriously, you like EVERY genre but country?
ashmez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's a bit unlikely. My music taste is quite eclectic (not much of a country fan but I do like SOME of it), but I can talk about music I like and say what my favs are, rather than just generic "Oh I like everything."
jett1773 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep whining and whining until I win"
RunningDarkly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand it when someone uses the word "ginormous." It changes everything.
mitchsn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't taze me bro!
simmok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, we're with the church of the latter day saints
Short_Goose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." -Someone who is probably terrible 90% of the time.
MrGrumpyBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Job creators."
kjbetz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just sayin'.
Thisisnow1984 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Must be nice" when someone says this I hate them
skeleton_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ridonkulous" as a substitute for "ridiculous".
PBChashu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
shadowdroid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well this will be hidden somewhere in the depths of this thread. Anyway it's not a phrase but a word.
Someone asks you something. You reply to their question and they reply with "whatever".
No! I made and effort to listen to you, think about your question and reply to it. You need to have the courtesy to listen to me.
A very good friend had this habit. I told her that its rude and I don't particularly like this habit.
"Yeah Ok. Whatever. "
Well don't talk anymore...
ItsReallyMeSid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone responds with Gucci instead of okay or awesome
sams_club ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. insert reasoning
MagicSchnauzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool beans.
acos1395 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I cheated on you." Yeah I disliked her immediately
Sergiiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hey buddy
JourneymanHunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhhh-edule.
You're not fucking British.
TygraFS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody who says "Guesstimate"
xHOTPOTATO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bro"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We have a zero tolerance policy"
Zzaproot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who is not Shirley Temple and says "Oh Goody" when they hear good news.
RandomMexicanDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bruh, check my soundcloud"
youhatethatimright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yolo
Gigglepops1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Trump tells it like it is.
caysaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not to be racist or anything but....."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically whenever someone injects unnecessary small talk into a conversation. If you have nothing to say, shut up. If you do have something to say, get to the point. Or just general fluff, especially when we're already in the middle of a conversation.
"Hey, so, like, check this out..."
We've been talking for the last 10 minutes. You don't have to preface everything you say.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Romney 2012
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase that shows the person is acting like a victim. With Victim I mean, like, "Everyone hates me yadda, yadda, people just fuck with me, i'm a little puppy who can't handle shit, life does only fuck me, everything goes wrong for me bla bla bla"
jkubed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cringe." Fuck off. Any time there's a conversation posted anywhere, someone feels the need to whine about it being either fake or cringy. Especially in r/tinder. It's the stupidest shit, like the person that says "awkwaaard." after mere seconds of silence. That's how people converse, you pretentious prick.
Hinxsey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a bitch, I'm just being honest"
ShinjoSan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thank you for calling Comcast..."
ChuckyDeuce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No Regerts"
chupacabruhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually whenever people use the word "retarded" or "retard" to describe random things or anything they consider dumb. Grinds my gears.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i'm majoring in gender studies
JustSumCracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agree to Disagree. If I'm wrong prove me wrong with a solid argument and facts that back up your points. It is a cop out answer.
faithfuljohn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
probably no one cares.... I really hate hearing "hella" to describe something. Not sure why.
"she's hella cool".
Ugh.
bird1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Murica... First I ever heard of it a guy from Vancouver told me it's what Canadians said to make fun of citizens of the US. Now when I hear other Americans saying it, actually more like type it because I have never hear it said by people in real life (other than the nice Canadian); ugh!! Whether saying it in a proud sense or whatever- anytime I encounter it, it pisses me off. Canadians or rest of the world doesn't bother me if they say it, but people of the USA, shut the fuck up already!
frogshateclocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they stomp in from the Minnesota winter and yell "Global warming my ass!"
keenynman343 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Good vibes bruh" Man I just wanna sock you in your douchie mouth when I hear that.
Kobluna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sure thing boss"
neurophilos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The apple never falls far from the tree." How about you judge people by their own actions?
On a similar note, "Let's be honest..." So, you don't make a habit of being honest? I do.
Rey_Rochambeau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fam
biosc1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, I read about it on the Internet" (implying they are suddenly knowledgeable in a subject that people spend years learning about. Looking at you anti-vaxxers)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist, but..."
jwayne1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Youse
perogi21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just sayin'
lilpurpledressy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"stupid dog".
Spawnacus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coffee and alcohol are not drugs because they're legal.... ugh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
social_insanity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Easy retort: "well maybe YOU only use 10%..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling me "Chief"
-QFever- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you have nothing nice to say come sit by me."
rollypt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't keep my pennies."
JazzyDoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, you know, just another day in Paradise!"
RedGrobo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who constantly tries to shill their sales job over FB when they dont even own the place.
Yes we get it the generic chain appliance store you work for has sales.
gothgar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
kk
UnacceptedRNSTU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to spoil my grand kids!
havelotsofsax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin'."
No...I don't need you to "just say" fucking anything.
KushwalkerDankstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We did good today!" Sorry guys, but Superman does Good, we did well today.
Kal66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that relates to climate change being a myth/hoax/conspiracy etc, along with anything else anti-science.
nimphara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Awesome sauce!"
LikeABreath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's how I assert my alpha"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo
WAAAAAAAAAYNE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dating sites/apps "I like to have fun."
Stryfe1569 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I fucked your sister"
If it's true; I Instantly hate that person, and then start weighing the consequences of aggravated assault.
Comrde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone mentions Reddit.com
farticustheelder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a "fill in the blank"
jamslambam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So we agree to disagree" No, I'm more interested in having a healthy debate and learning a new perspective. Aren't you?!
Binx33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say I dislike the person when they say this, but for some reason it really irks me when people say, "I could care less," when the phrase should be I couldn't care less.
If you could, you would.
RandomMaskGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"A whole nother"
Chrisbrowninc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
I'd rather you say "my brain is empty." That would at least make me smile.
ThePantsThief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll do the dishes tomorrow"
Meanwhile we have flies and all of my plates, pots, and silverware are dirty, and I'm hungry.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mind bottling.
Addicting.
Noraart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hnnnnngggg" I see this a LOT on reddit. So annoying
TararaBoomdea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's all good." I doubt it.
blootin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that they have a "go-to" something or other... drink/jacket/restaurant/whatever
johnnyd10vt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist, but . . . "
Black_Hipster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I never read!"
I don't care if you don't pick up a book every once in a while. Most people don't read, it's whatever. But it's a sad thing to brag about.
rxsheepxr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Overuse of "literally" gets me.
LittleMissSnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There is no such thing as a stupid question" yes, yes there is such a thing.
social_stat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something offensive followed by "just saying"
Kyario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This isn't my first rodeo"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone above the age of 11 that uses the word "haters" needs to shut the fuck up
OneDumbReddiot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is soo metta
FrankieGg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve/ Mabel and Eve"
Yeah, because everyone shares the same beliefs as you do.
supersauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Never assume."
Good luck with that, ass.
W_Edwards_Deming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Privilege.
edjybaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Feared-up." Big in the recovery community. You are afraid. Shut the fuck up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless
HANDS-DOWN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[Anything] Hacks.
Mwahaaaa_The_French ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so fustrated."
I've corrected grown ass adults about the proper spelling and pronunciation too many times to count, and even after correcting, those individuals still get it wrong.
But supposably it's a very common trait to carry on such linguistic errors.
LoLNerFed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yaaaawwhhh" ugh...not sure where this came from but its horrid and makes me cry.
enry_straker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
whatever and the more dastardly form 'whatev's
ilikechooks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me
Justkickinit85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
bdgr4ever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Dude"
fiderian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just my personality" proceeds to act like a twat
pawn_shop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..." Yes. Yes you are.
BobbyPeruMD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they address me as "Buddy" to seem amicable. NO we are now not friends forever.
MENNONH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Don't call me buddy, pal!
BobbyPeruMD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
don't call me pal... shitbreath
Expressionable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
herp derp.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone uses "literally" all the time. Especially when what they are describing isn't even literal.
Example- "OMG Carl is literally riding my back to turn those reports in"
pauliefranco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All intensive purposes.
All intents and purposes.
amanducktan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"First of all..."
Syyiailea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Am I the only one who...X"
You live on a planet of 6 billion people. No, simple probability says you are not a unique and special snowflake, no matter what you're talking about.
TheBearRapist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using literally wrong. "I literally talked at hom nonstop for four days straight.
"The Republicons"
"Faux News"
"America should do everything this other country does because I'm a dipshit"
Alright, maybe that last one isn't an exact quote, but it's what I hear when someone compares this country to another one with a completely different culture and history.
And most importantly, "As a mother, I..."
Astronotus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God never gives you more than you can handle"
basedradio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"wake up"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go big or go home.
ionsevin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're being so ignorant!" No. I'm being an asshole.
AverageOyster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just a theory."
Your everyday definition of a theory is NOT equivalent to the definition of a formal scientific theory.
NooBKaNoN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when people younger than 80 call me champ. especially if they are similar age.. instant nope
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"See, I don't think I really believe that climate change (or, the theory of) is true"
Please, shut the fuck up. Research and Chemistry back it up. Ignorance is not bliss.
SmellNoEvil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason. Because no, it doesn't.
GasTruck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever a girl gets engaged and finds it necessary to mention them as often as possible: "Well my FIANCE and I..."
Homoosexual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason"
justnodnsmile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BAI FELICIA
vahillhippie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now, I'm not a racist, bbuuuttt....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an atheist...
It's mostly just because it usually prefaces a really pretentious statement.
kdkekxjdjendmxks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's a good questionโฆ"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Brain Fart, Coinkydink, or Guesstimate. I will fucking stab you.
creative_name-here ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm creating jobs," said after they throw garbage on the ground.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well I believe in God's plan..."
YouGotCalledAFaggot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Donald Trump is just who this country needs as a leader"
sdafjlhafjklhadajkf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check your privilege
FriendlyPirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"invisible hand of the free market"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We are the ones we have been waiting for."
RikiOh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime somebody says "TMI". It's the real world. Get the fuck outta here if you can't handle it.
sarcastroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm entitled to my opinion!"
If we're talking about a subjective topic, sure. Favorite colors? Absolutely you're entitled to like Red, you fucking monster.
Spearmint vs. Peppermint? Wintergreen is the obvious and right 3rd choice, but fine, you're entitled to your opinion.
But when we're talking about facts you are not entitled to your own set of those. We share the same reality, asshole. You can't justify your assertion that goes against facts and reality by hiding behind you being entitled to your 'opinion'.
If you're using it to justify something that is mathematically or scientifically inaccurate then you should replace that phrase with "Well I'm entitled to being a moron".
blackbeansandrice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any reddit comment that begins, "I came here to say..." and then reiterates the top comment.
SmellNoEvil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me make it very clear ...
lostsoulfreespirit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offence....but..."
admartian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That Awkward Moment..."
Aser489 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses "The N-Word" to describe their friends regardless of race.
benblack75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Having fun yet?"
Slipen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's get to work!
awdtg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a Cowboy's fan.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Trump 2016!!!"
pee_ess_too ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The Big Bang Theory is SO funny. I love that show."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(knock knock) have you heard the good word of our lord and savior?
diedie489 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We made it fam!!!!"
fitzfallstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Shooting the shit" "shooting the breeze" it just... reeks of annoying sales person.
mhornberger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone says "everything happens for a reason" I know we'll never be good friends. I don't hate them, but I can't help but judge them.
abatnamedtwitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry, but I'm just speaking the truth" or any variation of that statement. Usually seen women by women who's job status is "chauffeur, chef, nurse, therapist, maid, single mommy of Braxton and Madison".
chantellylace83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A word: irregardless
pointyraccoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Atheists have no moral compass"
Frynge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
take your pick from: "Everything happens for a reason." and "God never gives you more than you can take." I'd like the reason for starving children in Africa. Oh, I'm sure they can handle starving to death, anyways, right? Ugh!
donutdude246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any 20-25 year old that uses the phrase "Adulting". Or saying things like "Wow I just ate a tub of ice cream, I'm such a good adult!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sarcastroll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, you mean that clever little line I thought up and say every damned time wasn't original?
Damn, next you'll tell me my "This bill is good, I just printed it this morning" line isn't funny?
Well, fortunately I can make any waiter's day by asking for an absurd thing when they ask if there's anything else they can get me!
adjectivity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Git R Done.
sarcastroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So much for global warming! Am I right!?!?" whenever it get chilly.
Yes. Because you have a smaller grasp on trends vs a single datapoint that my 2nd grader.
bqnguyen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know I usually don't post on facebook, but..."
Luigimario280 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if this is just a regional thing, but "(noun) needs (verb)ed." ex. "The clothes need washed"
Seriously. Either add a "to be" or change the -ed to an -ing. It sounds unintelligent
scottiepipnipslip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm one of those people where what you see is what you get, I'm just real."
hydroprof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ask question...person responds that they don't know or its not their job and offers nothing else.
Trip6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" WOW thats so DOPE " corny
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"let's agree to disagree" No you are wrong and I just won this conversation you twat.
brieoncrackers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People on welfare should just get jobs (or some variant thereupon).
You don't fucking know them. Bet they're holding it together better than you would, ya self-absorbed back-seat budgeter.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother...
Slappa_the_bass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone calling me "son" that's the same age or a little older.
Coyote666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have always been a Seahawks fan
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So? I did___ (and___)"
U FUKIN WOT M8? I DONT GIVE A SHIT IF YOU CAN ONE UP ME AT LEAST DO IT POLITELY all I'm trying to do is have a conversation regarding something I did or happen to me. I don't need to hear that you did something similar along with 50+ other things making you so much better than me. A simple: "oh really? I did something similar once" and then proceed to tell me your shit, don't begin with degrading what I've done
bigjimslade153 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Amazeballs."
MauritanianSponge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of white supremacists say that, for some reason.
cowboydoctor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No wait wait wait I got a better one than that..."
I fucking hate one-uppers. Insecure much?
MentORPHEUS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's nothing...
cowboydoctor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know I totally got one better dude
areyousurehank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using privilege as an insult. Like I'm supposed to feel bad. I don't.
bwohlgemuth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know I'm right..."
No, I don't. In fact, whenever you say this you are usually really fucking wrong.
StrayaMate2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When speaking "me and jane went to.."
No motherfucker, it's "Jane and I went to.."
Powerism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep slayin boi.
Uckcan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so awkward or this is so awkward
No, it's not
Snakebelt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
16,000 comments, so basically every phrase pisses somebody off.
reallyjustawful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't read
83xlxinsocal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, have I told you about my (crossfit/veganisim/political bandwagon of the week) interests?
That or anything about the Dodgers. FUCK the Dodgers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me there are two. First of all, it's BY accident. Not ON accident. And secondly, it's "good FOR you." Not "good ON you." Maybe I just have issues with the word "on" but both phrases make my hair itch.
44mac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just keeping it real."
huckthefuskies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Problematic.
eckrueger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is..."
flosstrakota ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ya know?" At the end of every sentence.
lordsqueak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Trust me"
MarkSinister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
'I keep whining and whining until I win'
or 'If it was a snake it would have bit me' (I wish it was)
or starting a sentence with 'So'.
food_gloriousfood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, not sorry. Also "I hate to be rude"....ugh
JJWoolls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep whining and whining until I win"
birdogio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Smile!"
(Said with a little sneer.)
MENNONH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have a quick question"
Especially in my line of work, no, no it's not a quick question. It never is. Not really dislike, just know I'm going to be stuck answering that "quick question" for the next thirty minutes.
Jfflow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually use that when I expect the answer to be yes or no.
Cumminj_91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are these all Facebook quotes, doe people not say stupid shit outside the Internet?
GranpappyTucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says something clever and one person responds "lawl". Go fuck yourself.
volound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Late to the thread, but here's a few.
real quick (you need adverbs, not adjectives, you fucking idiot. Extra hate points if not raised in a ghetto) skim milk (skimmed, dipshit. skim is a verb, not an adjective) HAVE to (only capitalising the "HAVE", think about what you are doing) It's in back (what the fuck is "back"? You mean "the back"?) 5 times smaller/10 times quieter (this just plain old makes no damn sense) hence why (pleonasm) reason why is because (jesus fucking pleonasm christ) naming names (so fucking naming then? dumbass) just because X doesn't mean Y (nobody said it did, asshole) not too sure (how can you be "TOO" sure? This has never happened) I guess (Guesses are useless. Get a fucking clue and try again)
If anyone uses ANY of those (there are loads more, can't be assed thinking of them all), I instantly dislike them a bit. It stacks to the point of serious resentment.
Politicians: "..BOOTS ON THE GROUND. BOOTS ON THE GROUND. BOOTS ON THE GROUND...."
Enthusiastic, zany people: "I'm trying to FLESH OUT so if we could just FLESH THIS OUT and do a bit of FLESHING OUT while I FLESH THIS OUT A BIT..."
Another one: "is this a thing?".
le epic "a thing" maymay. so silly and kawaii and goofy xD xD :)
101dalmation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Dude, calm down"
yea thanks
EDIT: And "With age comes wisdom"
QuantumChronicler8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense but.."
usually followed by something offensive or ignorant.
It's like saying "hey you can't be offended because after all I warned you; I'm a dick."
2InTheBag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so cheesed" YOU CANT FUCKING BE CHEESED. I TRIED!!! DOES. NOT. WORK.
LostSkeleton73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2, actually. I had a manager that would always say "Going forward..." Drove me up the wall. And my ex wife would always positively say "Everything's grim fandango." Ugh.
ProfessorMisanthrope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wow, I think that's the loudest I've ever heard you talk!" No. This does not make me feel good. This is exactly what you DO NOT need to say to someone that is generally quite quiet like me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone calls me brother or buddy
caulfield_h ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(for any unexplained event) it's a conspiracy by the West. Fuck you!
SU7sin1o3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...Im just saying"
InMyRestlessDreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Be a man."
theirv15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses the phrase " excuse you" instead of "excuse me" as a courtesy when an accident clearly happened. What kind of knuckle dragging ignorant shit is that?
fumungacheese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Word"
gabelam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can you please hurry up?"
sluggernate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool beans
CrystlBluePersuasion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't understand" when trying to help them feel better.
mike0082 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To your point"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't even" or "I just can't", especially when said repeatedly
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Truthfully?
paper_clipped ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I want it to be more (one thing) but at the same time (completely opposite thing)."
atlasMuutaras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I just call it like I see it" or "I just tell it like it is" or any other variant of "I want to be an asshole without facing social consequences."
henrywallace55555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"KISS: Keep It Simple Stupid"
2nd place: "I'm OLD SCHOOL" as an excuse for anything
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"she killed someone in cold blood"
pupupart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No Problem
Ryde22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my gosh, I'm so retarded."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"K"
After elaborately sharing your thoughts, the only response you get is..
"K"
BellyButtonSweat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever somebody "aks" a question.
luke_in_the_sky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All men are equal. They don't want a serious relationship."
They don't want a serious relationship with you, bitch.
0Camus0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Mรกs vale cabrona que pendeja." - Better bitch than stupid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When it's snowing outside, in winter, and someone says sarcastically "Ha! Global warming!"
panoramablack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nuff said
jeffbrownr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When stand up comedians deliver a punch line, and then while waiting for the audience respond they say, "but uhh" and then on to the next part of their routine
Antebari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair.....
bcdave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reverse racism, motherfucker it's all just racism.
CowleyCupStreaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Butthurt"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference"
That doesn't make any fucking sense you fuck-face
nliausacmmv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Reverse Racism". The person defending it is always claiming that you can't be racist against white people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bucket list.
jeffbrownr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When ordering food, "I'll do a", or "I'll go a" and whatever they want to order.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say "I have OCD" in response to something that would not warrent having OCD. [People pretending to have dibilitating disorders and glorifying them]
"People of color can't be racist."/"Women can't be sexist."/ETC.
When people use the word "triggered" to describe them being upset at something they disagree with in opinion exclusively.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tinder chicks who try to come off as a unique snowflake yet they are "down for adventures"
crash1082 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Make it pop
Razzerino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"toxic"
Ryde22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh--when people post pictures and then say "myfamilyisbetterthanyours" or "myfriendsarebetterthanyours".
How do you know that? My family is fucking awesome, but you don't see me making the claim that they're better than everyone else's. Get over yourself.
eeeeeeeilyk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like for an inbox - different people for a change!"
How about nooooo?
kyperion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit, I almost missed a milestone in my car today!
Posts picture of the meter passing 10000 or 80085 miles
BigOldCar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I literally [did something figuratively]."
"Irregardless..."
OxfordClothPsycho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For shits and giggles." Ugh.
kbugs027 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Throw me under the bus.
chaylar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"but the bible says..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sentence involving the word "privilege". Dead giveaway for a pseudo-intellectual who has the same capacity to think critically as a goddamn brick.
letsbebuns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm too inflexible to try yoga"
luisads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
FlappyCack69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just think it's funny how...
InsaneBeagle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase "Ask me about..." No, bitch! How about you just freaking tell me?
kbugs027 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too bad too sad.
kbugs027 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too bad so sad.
Sut_Mig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If it was up your ass, you'd know"
Ryuksapple84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a conservative.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but... [insert diet racism]"
benblack75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having fun yet?
FrankWolf86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Are you new here" Seriously? No. Just because you haven't seen me before doesn't mean anything? Are you here daily? No, right? Then shut the fuck up! And you know. What if I am? Is it that much of a fucking hassle to bear with me for less than five minutes? , were you never in this position before? Like this isn't stressful enough... Fucking dicks
darkmist29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I agree with someone and they say, "Right?" or "I know, right?" Then when you get two people that do that in the same room and they agree with each other it's like, "Right?" "Right?" "Right?" - and the tone gets higher and higher until only dogs can hear it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's not in my wheelhouse."
I just can't imagine there being anything likeable about a person who uses that phrase.
InvaderOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's this saying "if your a shit shoveler, be the best shit shoveler you can be" I personally feel if your inspiring to be great at something you shouldn't feel content being great at something that's shitty. However money is money and everyone has a different perspective on what their ideal job is.
fiannais ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people use "penultimate" incorrectly.
It means second to last. Not better than the Ultimate.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Why don't homeless people just get a job?"
Lessthntim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Totes"
FriendsCallMeBatman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Haha i drink and drive all the time! It's fun Hahaha"
Go Fucking kill yourself.
origami_deathmask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't feel bad for those people. If they didn't want to be homeless they could just get a job."
cscraycray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when someone says "you are such a hot mess" or uses the words "hot mess" in any situation
blakis93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's your cheapest drink/shot?"
Your cheap ass is going to stiff me on the tip, and try to convince me to hook you up all night. Fuck off.
Source: I'm a bartender
pilo22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone refers to a person or a group of persons as "illegal".... Undocumented is a better choice of word.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they say "I have self diagnosed..." or anything like that.
mcxmammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sentence that uses the word "retard" in a derogatory or insulting way. It's just not necessary and offensive to those who don't deserve it
LunarTaxi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's so retarded" and "That's so gay"
flyingpigmonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well I believe..."
Almost every time this is followed by something that defies fact and logic.
mvillearock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1995 (some year) called, and they want their Windows 95 CD (any item you own) back.
ADanalrapist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a bank and as a server. I am often required to ask people how else I can help them and I am so tired of hearing 'well you could give me a million dollars!'
Stateswitness1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Have a blessed day."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He won't bite!"
As dog on the bike trail runs at me snarling his head off.
henrysmith78730 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, do you have a minute to talk about jesus christ our lord and savior?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'll be your server today" "Why hello there, I'll be your customer today!!-!1!1!1!2?4?:&/))--)hahahHahHhHhahahahhHbahhhhaaa :)))))"
backlash237 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"know what im sayin'"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HoldOnOneSecond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:15 on August 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In deez hrd fnancil time
HoldOnOneSecond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:09 on September 7, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IN DIS HARDY FINANCIAL TIEMS
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omelette du fromage.
Falke117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone quoting the JFK's ask not speech without understanding it everytime someone complaining about the government or country.
kixxaxxas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't believe in government" this one really pisses me off because most often it's said by people who would be one of the first ones raped and robbed of all their shit. Anarchy my ass.
Justin__D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't. Might I get killed within the context of an anarchy? Maybe. But does it matter in the grand scheme of things? Nope. The law of nature is survival of the fittest, and that alone suffices for the millions of other species on the planet. But humans think they're a bunch of damn special snowflakes (likewise with "vegans" and their made-up "morals").
kixxaxxas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think we might be on the same page. I believe in the right of might. Maybe I read to much Robert E. Howard growing up, but I think this outlook is a little to violent for Reddit. I still believe there has to be a framework of government, however, to make sure your commands are implemented and obeyed. This, I believe, is also a survival of the fittest type of outlook.
gs509 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who conclude with the phrase or idiom: "but, at the end of the day" then that same person proceeds to go into a second long as fuck contradictory tangent.
backlash237 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have an ideal" .... meaning IDEA... idiot
NineSeconds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well as a Christian, I <insert some holier-than-thou-bullshit>"
Asmodeus_Luna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yaaaaaasssssssss" -_-"
ooorlly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just the word "amazeballs"
DaMarshen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any person who starts a sentence with "I'm not racist but, ..."
bworm20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's not a phrase, but when people pronounce nuclear like "nucyewler"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not to be ugly..." right before saying something bigoted, deliberately insulting, massively retarded, or self serving.
Ditto for all versions of that phrase: not to be mean, not to be rude, not to be blah blah blah.
Dark_Jester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my god, she was all like..."
Those type of gossipers.
duck-billedplatitude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
alllivesmatter
opus-thirteen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you see that (X, Y, Z) on Fox news?
Evernbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The "I'm better than you" vibe.
Ferguson97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me: please dont do that Other person: You love it.
No. No i dont. Thats why i said stop.....i hate this saying so bad.
butta_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"chill"
careaboutit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could care less
A_Bridgeburner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is." Oh fuck off
quadratis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"am i the only one who..."
for example, "am i the only who actually likes this song?" on a music video on youtube with several million views.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL GG REKT MATE, U FUCKING SUCK!
(After a single kill, score is 21:me 2:him/her)
silverishdragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im like, super OCD."
mnbowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm such a hipster
Greenbindy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a foodie.
jyar1811 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
do you carry Barefoot Moscato??
virtuosomaximoso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not my job. I will hate you instantly.
Pickled_Ramaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you are wrong
SDavidson44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically anything racist or sexist. I can tolerate a little bit but anything wild and you can be sure that I've hit the "NOPE!" button.
tylrmrlw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Me Thinks" = Me Cringe
KingKane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What are you a feminist?"
Yeah dude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"my horoscope says (this) and (that) about myself. What's yours?"
"I will pray for you"
"thank GOD for (whatever)"
Yes, if you haven't noticed, I'm atheist. And I get tired of seeing people thanking God for things that were done by ordinary yet capable people.
SebLiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae
AstroSatan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You sir are a gentleman and a scholar." And you sir, are a pompous douche.
Doc_Bleach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say the most arrogant and judgmental things that they retract the moment anyone calls them up on it.
"[Insert earnest, offensive, and incredibly badly thought out statement here]."
"Seriously? What the fuck?"
"Gee, don't you realize I was joking? I-I didn't really mean it!"
See, the point of a joke is that it's supposed to be funny. A joke is not an earnest statement that, upon receiving criticism, you don't have the balls to stand behind. That's just pathetic.
If you do this a lot, I can only assume that a) you're a coward who cares more about what how other people see you than actually having strong personal conviction, or b) you're a fucking imbecile who doesn't understand how humour works.
zuchit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fake enthusiasm.
I hate people who are too nice....like "oh,that's so awesome" "you're really cool" etc for silly things I do.
natasharevolution ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically anyone who posts anything on Facebook that isn't either funny or an interesting life update.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
any time someone says the word "scrumptious", i instantly hate them for eternity. i dont know why im so psychopathic about that word but i absolutely fucking HATE it!
ray_of_moonshine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that starts with no offense but or I'm not racist but...
gs509 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As if". ....too late?
squall_57 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Happy [Insert day of the week]!
Every morning I have the same coworker greeting the office "Happy Monday," "Happy Tuesday," every single day.
webbedfootprint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Easy peasy
xodiach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lemon squeesy
Raptork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ran a restaurant for a couple of years
"You're not going to charge me tax right?"
...
ruertar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be honest..."
scarredheart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We out here ___ You know we out here ____ Cuz we out here"
le_goman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just f***in with ya maaan!!"
cornking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same difference
Shaarr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm a pieces. Wow that was so Taurus of me to do.
LumoBlaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh hi my name is _____ we've only just met but YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL AREN'T YOU ENAMORED WITH MY PERSONALITY"
Sadly very common among college kids.
kagequrious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Male tears. Why has no one said male tears.
Cosomo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ending every sentence with "You know what I'm saying?!?"
TheHockeySatan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Selfie.
DeeRexBox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Work hard, play hard."
-people who hate their job
Mangisda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To be honest, (sentence)." You mean any sentence you make not preceded my "To be honest" is a lie?
JRockstar50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haaate a brand anytime they claim to be "taking ______ to the NEXT level!"
ConradDunkel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could care less to respond to this.
losephjee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too easy.
That_Brown_Man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less"
ezSpankOven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just sayin"
If you're stating a point, grow a fucking pair and stand behind what you say, or admit you were/could possibly be wrong, don't just try to excuse your way out of it.
Duderds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're on a recorded line that may be monitored for quality assurance. How can I screw you over today?" -Time Warner Cable
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people add "Just" to their sentences as if it somehow makes their actions permissible.
e.g. When told not to do something, or asked not to go somewhere restricted to them:
"I was just looking."
Or doing something they know they shouldn't:
"I was just committing a hate crime."
ezSpankOven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a journalist writes "but I digress". Literally means nothing.
CRBrownBeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Why don't you complain and get a free one?"
Yeah... I don't care if I only got 1 strip of bacon, it's not worth the inconvenience.
nichtaufdeutsch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have fibra myalga.
csf3lih ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Caught doing something wrong, "Hey, I'm not the only one, they do it too"
shelly12345678 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm voting for Donald Trump.
thezim0090 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not going to lie..." followed by anything. "I'm not going to lie, this is delicious cheesecake." Thank you for your honesty.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason
yoursneakyuncle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything where someone is trying to tell me what i should think of them. "I'm brutally honest" and "I'm an alpha fe/male" are both euphemisms for bitch
Christiancarrion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Amazeballs" or "awesome sauce".
lucidvein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Smh".
Jgrnaut_vibe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I will let you know'
Easymark2684 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my many hats.
I get it. You think you're important. If you were that important, you wouldn't have to tell people about all the things you do.
Honky_Cat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For all intensive purposes"
justjayf77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses the world "redonkulous " is an enemy of mine.
pretzelcuatl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason."
moonbeamkitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really,really hate it when someone refers to someone else ( typically female to female) as "Hun."
VaussDutan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When anyone says the find something concerning. Concerning means regarding. Nothing else. Disconcerting is the word they are looking for.
spikenthrope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Responding to a statement with "Right on" as if it were "uh-huh." Example: What did I do last night? I pretty much just drank in my underoos and watched Netflix..."Right on"
Ugh.
natalie1986 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they say, like also literally. Way too often. Ugh just like so literally annoying..
EmpathyWillSaveUs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...no homo"
Tower-Union ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The one that is DIRECTLY above this thread in my feed.
https://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/comments/3glkm7/donald_trump_i_keep_whining_and_whining_until_i/
Idreaminred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm results oriented"
jjpdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is wrong with being results oriented and stating it? Especially if the other option is being process oriented.
y0gaqueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm socially liberal and fiscally conservative" No, you're not. If you understood either of those two phrases you would realize that they can't happily coexist.
Justin__D ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, I support legal same-sex marriage, legalization of all drugs, legalization of prostitution, loosening of immigration restrictions, hands-off foreign policy, significant downsizing of the military, and the downsizing/cancellation of social welfare programs. What am I?
(as in, I believe in a truly small government, that essentially has only one role, of maintaining a peaceful society)
y0gaqueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a good article about it: http://www.rawstory.com/2015/05/here-are-7-things-people-who-say-theyre-fiscally-conservative-but-socially-liberal-dont-understand/
Justin__D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get what it's saying. However, I'm still voting Libertarian. I guess when it comes down to it, I fully support equality for all under the law. I realize that my ideals will leave some issues, like poverty, unfixed. I sort of just accept the fact that some people are going to get screwed, regardless of which direction fiscal policy leans, so I would just rather pick that people who contribute nothing to society get screwed, rather than those who make productive use of their lives. I do acknowledge that not everyone is in either of those positions by choice or merit, but I refuse to hold a "humans are special snowflakes" mentality. Millions of other species live by a "survival of the fittest" mentality. Why don't we? I guess in short, the article makes the assumption that people with a libertarian perspective think that their ideology will make the world a perfect place. That isn't the intent. My goal as a person with such beliefs is simply to oppose any form of totalitarianism, as in any form of government overreach into people's lives.
I guess one issue I take with that article is it seems to imply that the only reason a libertarian-leaning person would want police reform and liberal drug policy is for fiscal reasons. It isn't. Simply put, we just believe that people have the right to make their own choices in life. It's also known as "classical liberalism." In my view, a liberal is one who believes in liberty. The right to make one's own choices without a government telling you what's right or wrong. From my view, opposition to high taxes and social welfare is a part of that. I believe the right to allow one to make their own choices also includes their money.
I realize these views make me a fairly heartless person. However, emotion always results in bad policy. Hell, Hitler used "think of the children" arguments quite frequently. Policy should be made solely by logic and reason. And this is why I am socially liberal and fiscally conservative. Neither, "My religion told me to impose these beliefs on other people!" nor "We have a moral obligation to help the poor!" are based on reason. They are based in morals, and I believe in keeping morals out of government.
The idea that one has to be 100% conservative or 100% liberal is a mentality promoted by "the powers that be," the controlling interests in this country who want to keep us weak and divided. The real issues (like the NSA) are happily ignored by both the left and the right. And the Electoral College and gerrymandering meanwhile make sure everyone's vote keeps a Democrat or a Republican in power.
jjpdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I and a lot of my friends think of ourselves as socially liberal and fiscally conservative. How does it not make sense?
mm825 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Techies (I live in the bay area)
Pickled_Ramaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this is a buffet but you cannot lay under the soft serve machine.
Murphysburger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You guys.
By a restaurant server.
AgentLocke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any variation on "brutal honesty".
Example: "I'm gonna be brutally honest with you... "
Actually what you're gonna do is pour yourself a frosty 16oz draft of shut the fuck up double IPA. Brutal honesty is self righteousness dressing itself up as a quasi public service. I've never not heard it as an excuse to deliver a sermon based of a single person's experiences, the imposition of one persons perspectives, assumptions and value judgements on someone else's. It deprives the subject of any sort of legitimacy as a person because any response they might have is counter to this "honesty", this public service. Friends aren't brutally honest with friends. Passive aggressive bullies use brutal honesty to cover their sanctimonious asses.
TL;DR- "Brutal honesty": For when you're probably wrong, when you're definitely an asshole and when you just want to take shits on the people around you.
Pickled_Ramaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to put on pants
Pseudohead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Political correctness (+/- gone mad)
gadorp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[insert absolutely anything here supposedly said by Marilyn Monroe]
jakiestfu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"hey lol"
Deathangel0306 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when people say "lol" in face-to-face conversation
problematic99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell ya, Donald Trump would be a great president!
SeefyDoesIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You mad bro?" Or just the use of bro in general.
sandinichole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Get over it."
.....blood boils.....
RickRick6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist but"
Or the old chestnut,
"No offence" which is always followed by something that is rude,
I mean if you're going to say something unpleasant at least have the balls to stand buy it
HeretixAevum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There are only two kinds of people in this world".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who refers to making a solid plan as "getting it dialed in".
Pickled_Ramaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
crying
kawaiiChiimera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a demisexual."
TheJester73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pardon me, but have you heard the good word?
HeySticks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"why is everything so politically correct???" - someone who doesn't want to deal with the consequences of saying terrible things
Azuvector ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't know me."
Sure, I probably don't. But you're acting like a complete turd right now. Certainly gives some pretty strong hints about you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"problematic"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you cant remember what you were going to say, it probably wasn't important." right after i forget what i was going to say. this pisses me off so goddamn much i cant handle it.
Sapientz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Thanks Obama." ...and means it.
Someone yesterday said, "I can't wait until Trump is president and fixes what's wrong with this country." That worked too.
boqz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense."
Da_Penguins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I found this thing at the spiritualist shop the other day...
theataractic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Believe you me."
incakolaisgood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in tech support: I just have a quick question. No you don't. You want a quick resolution but your question usually isn't quick. 9/10 will either be a jerk or fight you through every step of the process to resolve their issue wasting even more time.
xal1124 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went on a date with a guy once who said, "Oh turd," instead of "Oh shit."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TGIF
BeefJerkay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, I hate everyone equally."
Pickled_Ramaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You shouldn't wear sandals when you use a chainsaw...
StevetheLeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry"
"Yeah, you're sorry"
Fuck you, I take back my apology.
debbiedearest84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't stand when people say, "Epic"...Drives me crazy...and "just saying"...
TheEpicAlmaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Allahu Akbar"
lindsey9589 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a pastor"
fuckotheclown3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On Reddit, I see "good on you" all the time. The expression is "good for you". Good can be a noun, but you can't fucking sprinkle it on like pepper.
Raewhen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cimanim
Pickled_Ramaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try...I am not going to wake you up with a morning BJ every morning.
Devils_Advocaat_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'the/them feels'
TheNineteenthDoctor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like Ohio State."
I don't care what the recent record is. Fuck you, Go Blue!
In all seriousness, though, I'll probably end up talking to that person for at least half an hour and enjoying it, trading insults the whole way.
Kentont911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Redditors..." such cliche starts to mainly AskReddit posts.
Sparky-Man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know you're working hard on this, but if you just pray-"
Stop. Praying will get me nowhere. God will not come and magically finish my project or teach me how to do what I need to do. I spent countless hours learning and working hard on my own merit, developing my own skills, and putting forth ALL my time and effort to get things done. These are my achievements. You will not disregard it as some form of religious miracle. Do NOT lecture me about how I should pray to have things magically finish themselves. That won't happen and I don't want it to.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I vote Republican but I will NOT be voting for Bernie Sanders.
Literally Hitler.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone days "totes" instead of totally. Ugh.
araimuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless. Bonus! Utilize in place of use.
NotAGangMember ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate drama" makes me me want to nut punch folks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late to the party but the one I hate from working in IT is when they walk in and see me working on the user's computer:
"Wow <user name>, you look different!"
Good joke jackass, it's not like I haven't heard it 5 times already today in this office
V1per41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's your sign?
Poweronreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother.....". Just because you've got fuck trophies doesn't mean you know better than others.
DustinCSmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just so OCD about that"
AngryItalian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How could you like Country music, it's just hill billy music with a stupid accent."
And I mean, they HATE Country music, like that's fine but I don't care. Every genre has a "thing" that's why it's a genre. That'd be like if I said, "How could you like rap music, they just talk really fast and slur their words, how stupid!" Fuck off.
Mech__Dragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like, saying like, like every, like, word.
RSinema ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but....."
Shirkaday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Irregardless..."
"Same difference"
DONE.
Nydusurmainus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as someone in a serious way starts talking about how hot they are
TravelerHD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"K"
Like literally, how much more effort is it to add an O there LIKE THERE SHOULD BE.
Jarnohams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses the word "sheeple".
But mostly most especially if they are an anti-vaxer trying to shame me for vaxing my kids, and use the word sheeple.
rangeo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me
Zzaproot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fancy Evangelical/Fundamentalist Christian terminology for things that don't really exist or are used to make weak arguments sound smart. For example-"Blood Atonement" "Postmodernism" "Pragmatism" "Family Values" "Legalistic" and so on.
BenjisMimi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could really use an expresso!
rockHopper54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just being honest!
lkarac727 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It'll happen if it's meant to be.
Basically, I can be a lazy dipshit and everything will be fine.
I_RECTIFY_GRAMMAR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hella.
12GrimmauldPlace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're [insert age here]? But you look like you're 12!"
FFS...
NotAGangMember ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If your apology is followed by a "but", I hope you fall into an open manhole.
realg27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I read a post that is followed by "#blessed".
ZapVegas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you flossing every day?
klf60 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anywho.
Vaguely_Reckless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I bet 99% of people won't have the guts to repost this..."
c3powned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Tat guns" It's a machine and it doesn't "shoot" anything..
wildwalrusaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone that uses the word "hashtag" in spoken conversation.
stokeskid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not my job.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Person starts story You start nodding "Have I told you this before" "Yeah, I remember you saying that...." Keeps telling the story
_crom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, no..." or "No, yeah..." It's one or the other. Agree or disagree.
brazillion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"With all due respect..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what people dont realise is...
Blindndumb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If I can do it, so can you"
sloonark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bae"
probabilitydoughnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Your card was denied"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Working hard or hardly working?". STFU NOW!
tlrhmltn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me thinks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Perfect!" As a response to everything.
dudeabides82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you understand what I am saying?" Typically said by someone who does not have a firm grasp of the English language and sounds super condescending. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me for some reason (works in a call center)
Dutchillz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I speak in the name of hundreds/millions/billions" Bullshit. And fuck you.
eqleriq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people asking about phrases that cause disliking?
it isnt any one phrase its the smug attitude that comes with using a phrase
neuropathica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Assume Valley Girl accent)
"And so I was like, Jesus you take that wheel..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right?!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You may have just saved my life at one point in the future. I had forgotten what two chemicals one should never mix and I've been trying to recall them for a while.
gerbot150 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fuck you"
JakNomad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"NPR? What's that?"
steppek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have a quick question". Nine times out of 10, they don't.
DudeRobert125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You'd be surprised!" Fuck you, no I wouldn't.
ClubSoda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyhoo
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Calm down bro"
No, shut the fuck up.
josiahstevenson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Feel the bern"
the_eluder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You tryin' to....
AvatarJack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not hate, but I definitely roll my eyes involuntarily any time someone mentions astrology.
FilbertMcFuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"In today's world..." I'm not sure what the alternative should be. These days, maybe? Completely empty, unneccessary bunch of words. Reminds me of "Merchandise Mart" in Chicago, which basically is like saying "Product store."
Illecebrous-Pundit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Doesn't matter to me; I could care less."
TheSuddenFiasco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How hard is your job"
StevetheLeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"The Civil War wasn't about Slavery"
The recent bullshit reason for keeping around the battle-flag of the pro-slavery, secessionist army that sought to rip this country apart.
edit: For those of who aren't convinced check out South Carolina's Declaration of Secession
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dog eat dog.
CanisMaximus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any racist phrase.
tdDaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In gaming if someone if getting beaten really badly (usually in the online modes) they will say/shout "I'm getting raped!" or if they are winning/beating their opponents it'll be "You got raped!" or "we raped them!".
It never sits well with me. On one hand this term is used all over the place in gaming and has a very specific meaning (getting beaten, or beating someone) but if you step outside the gaming culture bubble it very suddenly turns into a grotesque thing to say. I personally never use the word and it churns my stomach whenever I hear it, especially in such a throw away, non-caring manner.
lost-moogle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That being said..."
imsurly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"God never gives us more than we can handle"
Except when he does. See: hurricanes, cancer, nuclear bombs, Donald Trump.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, right?"
kckstrtmyhrt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All this Mr. Mom crying sounds like it's coming from one of those Canadian-vegan hipster femine dudes. Stop crying, be a man, and chop down some fuckin trees or something
garfnodie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "I appreciate you" instead of just saying "thanks" or "appreciate it."
765Zuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Oz says ... or Dr. Phil says ... or Judge Judy says ... and on and on an on
PhotoSnapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe that "I'm not a racist but..." is not at the top of this list.
yeahbuddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "what happen?"
You forgot the "ed" kiddo (it's usually a teen girl).
Drives me nuts.
DudeRobert125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That fake definition of insanity that people like to incorrectly attribute to Einstein. It's bullshit.
dm823 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I dont like dogs," Well sorry, I thought I was talking to someone with a soul. Have fun being a miserable person in life.
jonarnold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a serial entrepreneur."
Danimal666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, right?!" Makes my fucking blood boil
pilo22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone refers to a person or a group of persons as "illegal".... Undocumented is a better choice of word.
He_who_humps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wake up America!
brkrpaunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say:
"Honestly, ..."
Immediately makes them appear insincere or disingenuous.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Guesstimate"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist; but,..."
dsmase86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"America was founded as a Christian nation..."
Aka the kind of people who really need history lessons.
ThirdRook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a personal problem.
rockfrawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Utilize.
Seriously, fuck you. You're using it wrong 99% of the time just to try to sound smarter. You're an immediate idiot.
reki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guess they're utilizing it rather than using it huh.
rockfrawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Thank you for that.
pabodie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
New Cue Lar.
EduarAlbarn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My body is ready.
WhiteHatDiablo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Iceland is really green and Greenland is really icy.
hambonecharlie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That being said, at the end of the day"
theoldgeezer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference"
mil_phickelson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Went on one date with a girl who used the phrase "ivory towers of academia" to describe some museum curatorial job she was trying to get. One date.
JackPoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Walking in..." NO MORE TICKETS.
bishopolis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh, there are a few:
".. go ahead and .." is a great one. It's garbage verbiage; it's decadent waste. If you're gonna say UM, say UM.
I get fired up quickly at the phrase "we can say that, but another group can't, because if they do it it's discrimination." In chastising some other group of people who were acting identically, they expose blind discrimination of the calibre they're trying to stop. A Capt Picard meme-o-graph is begging to be put into the game, coach.
But if we can claim to mean 'judge negatively' instead of 'dislike', I'd pick 'emails.' It's not a noun in the same sense that 'traffics' isn't a noun (and is a good comparison), and once it starts to stick out it's worse than 'erratas', 'irregardless' and 'literally' misused. I don't dislike these people, but I worry I don't help them as much, in the same sense as I'd help someone less if they rocked out a racist or sexist remark, compared to someone where the illusion of intelligence was still intact.
Cue the naxi[sic] namecalling, I guess, but that's the truth.
Ethnikoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who call this (#) a hashtag.
reki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called "pound freenode" instead of "hashtag freenode" for a reason.
Dumpslikeatruktruck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doll hairs instead of dollars. The worst.
cruiseplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm voting for Bernie Sanders.
koreanprodigy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey what's up?" "The ceiling" No duh. Most annoying response ever.
larrythemobilemonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I took some days off after my dog ate a poisoned rabbit. My boss says to collegues "i have no sympathy for animals, especially dogs". Fuck this guy.
RobotCockRock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All of the sudden"
FoolyCoolyKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my coworkers recently said, "Yeah, I think I'm going to try and date [another coworker], she seems really cool, her boyfriend even made her get a PS3!"
I responded, "You mean ex-boyfriend?" He said, "Nope"
I didn't even understand how someone could be that stupid, but I really don't like working with him now.
ptashark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone using 'in my opinion' pisses me off. You are saying something, thus it's your opinion you moron. And if someone uses 'in my humble opinion' he needs to be dropped kicked into a volcano.
buttbutts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You would"
aking25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
me: "I'm hungry" friend: "so aren't i! let's eat!"
NONONONOOO.
ReliantG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gentle Reminder
RedditHatesAsians ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's pray...
Ihateitwhenwebsites ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"that's so gay"
wildxlion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense, but....."
BigJSteal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say something about something I enjoy personally. "Yeah I'm not a fan.."
pamazon63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really need the coupon to get the deal do I??
xroarrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone uses the word "conversate" while speaking. Instant loss of respect. GOOD DAY SIR (or madame).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fuckin' a"
One time at work, I transported an extremely intoxicated woman. In addition to trying to escape and spitting on me and my partner, she said this phrase about 3-5 times a minute. Instantly makes me hate the person I hear saying this.
reki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But Office Space was such a great movie T.T
(I'm aware that's not the origin, but it's where most of my friends and I learned it)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THAT makes a lot more sense...I haven't seen that movie in so long! I need to rewatch it.
AtoZZZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm scrolling through quite a bit, and I'm pretty surprised that I haven't seen my biggest pet peeve on here. The thing "bae". I wouldn't dare even giving it the privilege of being a word. And then there are those people who say it means "before anyone else". Oh so what, when you say that "coffee is bae", you're saying that you're the first to drink coffee? And that's another thing. When people say something "is bae". THAT DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING.
My apologies. I'll stop the angry ranting here. I'm not sure how much more my keyboard can take
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anyone who tells me "I'm not x type of person". Such as "Don't worry I don't cause drama", "I'm not manipulative", "I don't cheat", etc. Yeah people who aren't like that...don't tend to feel the need to say so, it's people who've been told they are like that and know it that feel the need to say that per-emptively.
Tera_GX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Here, have some cookies" ๐ช
Them: "No"
Katastrophe-Trap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much any thing racist.
DarkLordMagus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Science is a religion."
Which translates into vernacular as "I'm so insecure about my beliefs that I'm going to insult the pursuit of knowledge by comparing it to a pile of paper by thousands of years dead manipulative fucks, and the living manipulative fucks that use that unchangeable, unyielding record of a bunch of men who did some shit because a cloud person with a megaphone said so, to try to control people's lives in the modern world."
Oh yes, shithead, I see how hydrogen bonding is similar to 'if you masturbate you will burn forever in an eternal bonfire'
sammyjammy89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fuck the patriarchy" or "it's the patriarchy" because they're almost always insufferable to talk to about anything ever.
janeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"... I'm just saying."
This is the worst because it's usually preceded with something insulting like "Wow, you look like shit..." Then they act like the second part makes it all better and explains why they said it. It didn't change the fact that what you said was rude and/or inappropriate.
lirio2u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok how about when you go to excuse yourself from to use the bathroom and when you come back the douche goes " did you fall in?" I'm sorry I took my time being hygienic.
BadinBoarder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Run, Forest! Run!"
As a runner, i hate it cause i would hear it weekly before someone pretended to swerve and hit me.
As a comedian, i hate it cause it's the most unoriginal joke of all time. Haha, he's running, haha.
avret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I just don't understand why people don't agree with INSERT POLITICAL OPINION HERE."
laughs_at_idiots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For lack of a better word..." in every other damn sentence. Just find a better word, you dumb. lazy ass!
Readyredditren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I consider myself a type A personality" No! You're just trying to preface your up and coming douchebaggery.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, buddy
redeyeddragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but..."
takingapoop1992 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Where did I leave my keys"
"They're probably where you left em"
Get fucked cunt
commi_furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'm a Sagittarius so that's why I'm so spontaneous...
xFarquad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't like me before my coffee.
ProgrammingMonkey235 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same difference.
indiepaparoos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I keep whining and whining until I win'
nosackH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, if I were you, I would......" Well, you're not. Move the fuck on.
davekingofrock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll say it like this..."
How the hell else would you say it?
greggo39 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most political buzzwords get under my skin.
Military industrial complex, faux news, main stream media, socialist, neocon, etc.
If you use these terms I assume you're an idiot and have read all the talking points but don't really understand the issues.
BroPhister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I do whine because I want to win and I'm not happy about not winning and I am a whiner and I keep whining and whining until I win"
PenisAnnaMajorsakIII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't want to sound like a jerk but..."
Clearly this jerk knows they are about to sound like a jerk. Prefacing said jerkiness with a warning only makes me want to commit assault that much more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a self proclaimed racist".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boys will be boys.
thedynasoar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't need to go to school, I got street smarts. Sure you fuckin' do, see how far street smarts get you in trying to work a legit job.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everythink
eggguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When the first word of the response to a question is "so". It signals a condescending or self-indulgent answer is coming my way.
CHNYC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Reverse racism"
Roraan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What, is that racial worship?
and1and2and ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who call their friends 'squad' or anything 'on point'
DaylightDarkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No one cares"
Fuck you, I care.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Meta" used in such a way that they are thoroughly ignorant of its meaning.
razezero1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually anything that involves them bitching about "the patriarchy".
Awkwardasturtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On FB, I don't have any friends. Everyone leaves me alone because I grew up. Says the girl and guy who breaks up with their SO every five seconds, cyber bullies former classmates, and who can't be smart enough not to smoke/drink while pregnant.
beartracks33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It was so surreal."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hmu
malibumaddi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who constantly say "I'm lit"
DangerPay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a whiner and I keep whining and whining until I win"
ScroogeMcDuckII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
right now it's
STRAIGHT OUTTA _________
MisterOpinions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"buddy".
canned_soup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Have a good rest of your day." No. Enjoy the rest of your day OR have a good day. Just no.
OPsUnderwear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mid or feed
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep calm and (insert something stupid here)"
natty_by_nature ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but...(insert something racist here)"
R0yaleWithCheese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Have an upvote!"
erdoskurdish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was LITERALLY [insert exaggerated verb]..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Mercury is in retrograde."
"The universe told me to..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "bae" it makes me want to bathe in their blood.
in-site ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
honestly, I'm getting pretty fucking sick of hearing the word 'triggered,' like "it was really triggering." no one I know with actual PTSD or mental disorders gets to use the word anymore because it was abused by overly-sensitive, self-righteous assholes. being offended is not the same as being triggered. just don't get offended. I guarantee you could have it a whole lot worse
Popdudx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"WHAT ARE TTHHHOOOOOOSSSEEEEE"
You are a literal fucking 11 year old
SmartSoda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sort of name dropping.
It could also be similar to name dropping. Best way to explain would be someone talking loud enough to be overheard, understood, and overly pretentious(whether or not the conversation is "intelligent"). Their topic of conversation would have to be a stereotypical douchebag convo going into detail about who and what they fucked.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying the word "nuclear" as "Nuculer."
So many flinches.
sheably ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it's a free country"...
aBoredIndianAbroad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who drifted apart but text you out of the blue asking "hey, you forgot me!"
rockkon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"whatnot"
Mouse2Cute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for the mess (house is sparkling clean)
RocketeerGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just kidding."
This phrase is the bain of my existence. It's just ingrained in my life because I surrounded myself with FOBs, friends of the boat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who try's to impress me that they self taught them selves guitar.
KentusBrockus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it is what it is" when it's something that could be changed if they weren't lazy af
wifesaysnoporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't tread on me
yojimbo12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Banter or 'bantz' it just sickens me to my very core. Also when people say "its just how I am." to justify being rude to people. Being a dick doesn't make acting like one okay.
ebb007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a customer service setting: calling the customer "Boss"
Citrusface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Preggers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OMAGAAWWD, I AM SSSOO OCD!!!
NO BITCH! YOU AIN'T!
Roraan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:27:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This drives me up the fucking wall. OCD IS NOT AN ADJECTIVE, IT IS A NOUN. ONE IS NOT OCD, ONE HAS OCD.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you shouting at me?
internet feelings == hurt
Roraan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, wasn't shouting at you. Was shouting at the simulated idiot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol
K
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't get along with other girls" 90% of the time you are a cunt..Hailey
thesoko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate my parents"
Drigr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry not sorry
tibean2992 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist. I dislike everyone equally."
Makes me want to vomit.
niem254 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They wouldn't be racist, that would make them a miser
Incoterm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I voted for Obama
Kise93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DUHHHHHHHHHHHH
Cerulean_Shades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, to be honest..." as opposed to what? Are you normally dishonest?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae, YOLO, SWAG, sorry not sorry, breathing out of a cigarette.
blissyrose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"i have freedom of speech, therefore i will insult you openly" - or something to that effect
King_Dab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you like country music?"
Roraan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
....I do.... I like music in general.... exceptforpopseriouslyfuckpopbutit'sokayifyoulikeit
Jetpilot240 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meet me for the first time and tell me to funk off like you were talking to a friend of yours. Me and you are not friends and quite frankly never will be. Ever.
Ohjusttheusual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm exhausted."
PonceLives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
fleker2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a Virgo/(other symbol)"
That tells me a lot about you, but not due to your symbol.
Klubhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't really call it a phrase but when people say "question" before asking a question.. makes me cringe.
iVirt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist! I dated a (Black/Asian/Indian/Hispanic) (Girl, Boy, Trans) in high school/college!"
The fuck you ain't
will_zilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
Far_and_Forever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a Type 'A' personality."
burrbro235 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thoughts and prayers
Witonisaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could care less!
ERIFNOMI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Je me said quoi.
I immediately don't give a single fuck about anything you have to say.
awesomo96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not my problem." I'll make it your problem, cunt.
ClassicDrK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm gluten free." Do you have celiac disease? Do you even m ow what gluten is?
"I don't eat anything with a soul/face," or "humans aren't made to eat animals."
Other annoying food-related nonsense.
El_Raro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think using the word "pretentious" is extremely pretentious.
WPchainofLakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know who my father is? Also, I will sue you.
snazzywaffles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when people ask a question and thier reply when you answer back is" swag".
I'm fine with people who say it in a descriptive manner because it's no different than me calling something "brutal", or "metal" because I'm a metal head, but to use it as a response is completely incoherent, and a blatant show of incompetence.
COCK_MURDER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using the word "indeed" to agree with something. Unless you're a British aristocrat, shut the fuck up or I'll fucking rape your eye sockets with a fork and floss with the sinewy refuse of your worthless cock
TheSubOrbiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
username checks out.
Fr4hnks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is all too common, "I could care less." When they obviously don't care at all.
Spartan8r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sentence that contains the word "of" in the place of "have"
xrickster97x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gluten free is better eating
Mahoghany85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Weed comes from nature, nothing natural can hurt you man."
Not against legalizing, but damn that ticks me off.
Roraan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Possible retort is to bring up poison plants or mushrooms.
Mahoghany85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always use poison ivy or the castor oil plant.
TheSubOrbiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's the stupidest thing i've seen in this thread by far, wow.
angry_hedgehogs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I deserve..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Information silos.
"I could care less."
All lives matter.
"That's so ironic."
Belt and suspenders.
"Only God can judge me."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege"
zorro1701e ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pray for (him/her/you)" Religious people say this lots of times without realizing they are part of the problem. I saw these chain smoking ladies turn away a person asking to bum a cigarette. They both said it was their last cigarette. As soon as the person left they talked about how shameful it was to ask for handouts and that they would pray for her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "X is so ratchet." Or "X is hella X." That shit is stupid and not proper English so cut that shit out and speak properly. Basically I hate everyone.
Anxiousoup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm too blessed to be stressed!"
Moonpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Aliens built the pyramids." Fuck you they did, documentation bitch, read a book.
Nomad_guy_505 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Baby lotion weak"
naked_short ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who talks about how evil/bad/awful something/someone is without even a cursory understanding of what it is or about.
You don't know what you're talking about so how are you able to form such a strong opinion?
BronzeBoxer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally.
Mahoghany85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I speak fluent sarcasm." Or calling yourself "sassy" on a dating profile.
What does that mean?
ibs2pid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses the term "Trust me" when talking about anything.
rocopotomus74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just an idea. I am not married to it."-------no shit. Its an idea fucktard. If men cant marry men and women cant marry women, fucked if you can marry an idea!!!! What a pretentious fucking statement. Probably from a douche that would cheat on that idea with a bitch ass theory. Then claim that love be controlled. Fuckin dumbass.
inline88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so done!
MaleficZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Working in IT, it has to be when someone says "well like I said".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody who used the phrase "special little snowflake". It's just intellectually lazy cynicism. Also, ironically, it makes the user look like they think they're above anybody else. Also, it shows poor reading comprehension if you walked away from Fight Club thinking that you were supposed to agree with Tyler Durden.
montanagunnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are you so afraid of that you need all those guns?
Roraan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My retort is normally "Well you own a fire extinguisher, don't you?" Hope that helps.
dicksandladders ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
whenever says after a question : "so like..."
Reuseum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Got any copies of Battletoads?"
CreeDorofl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just about every use of the phrase "talking shit".
It usually involves some wannabe thug with a highschool mentality puffing up and making threats because someone else said mean things about him. Like someone else's negative opinion of him got him SO worked up that he's gotta get into a fistfight over it.
Here's an idea... try not giving a shit about the opinion of people you don't respect anyway, and don't make retarded threats online which can be used against you in court.
zorro1701e ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just telling it how it is." Not used much anymore. Usually said by bitchy women as an excuse to be rude.
captain_d0ge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I bet you're naked under those clothes, filthy whore!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"First!"
Robbielee1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
James Hird is selfish and needs to be fired.
Iwant2seeUrDick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm religious.
oskarkush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love hula hooping" --anyone over about 12
bondkevin347 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm moist.
greekfreak15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't like it then maybe you can just move to (insert foreign country)!" Maybe go fuck yourself
seafoodslut1988 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its free today right?
ImSwale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sloths and pizza!
Clestonlee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most new slang. On fleek sounds fucking stupid. That being said I've been know to say something is on point, for example after eating something a friend made that was good I would say that was on point which I guess amounts to the same thing... I guess I'm irritated with slang that is devised just to circumvent existing language/slang just to make noise.
mjb212 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense but..."
Why bother saying this? So I can brace myself to hate you .3 seconds before I start hating you?
MobileInfantry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll just link to this.
https://youtu.be/HhGuXCuDb1U
Basically anything in that video.
-YARB- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same difference... How can it be the same if it's different
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a filter." That is not an excuse for talking incessantly about yourself and being social unaware/inappropriate - grow up.
nickknitter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You only live once"
I'm going to start promoting "YODO" (You Only Die Once) to local Death Metal radio stations
LordSquid1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I do it for the turnip"
such a stupid saying, I can't go two minutes without someone thanking a turnip for their great party, really sours my mood.
LuciusFlaccidus420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little late, but someone who says something highly opinionated and follows it up with "just saying." Like, NO! Fucking defend your statement!
WeThePooches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless.
foxysavage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate everyone"
damn bitch calm the fuck down who you trying to fool
FlapJacken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fuck Obama, he's a communists"
CatWomanWithAPenis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a feminist"
beusey10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"yea, but.." with any excuse following. A person that has an excuse for everything is just the worst
Jose5626 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says something among the lines of " as a mother of 2..."
slider1010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't disagree
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never hear people say this in real life (which I'm thankful for), but whenever a character on a show says "We're done here" I lose all respect for them. I think it started when I was watching Battlestar.
gmikeska07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bitcoin is a ponzi scheme"
bkstr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"but it's all the way over there" - referring to something across the room
nil214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I keep whining and whining until I win
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what I mean, or do you understand. If you keep saying that after every sentence I rage.
coodaj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't read books"
skyword ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist but...
mrhard519 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
9/11 was an inside job bro.
MADUCHE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
keep slayin' boi
StephBGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a slippery slope.
BlainelySpeaking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I seen _____." I seen him say this, I seen her do that yesterday, MAKE IT STOP. :(
guelahpapyrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The entitled statement, "That's for peasants."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
....shit.
wardrich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's a prank"
cloaknddagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Woorldstaaar!!!"
Coral_Bones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vote for Donald Trump!
Compex2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my friend/bf/gf/cousin/brother/sister/etc is better than your ______
arsenalthom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLOOOO
facebones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hella much...
Gronner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I always did it that way" "I didn't need it to last X years so I won't need it know"
adedward ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I truly hate when people finish a statement with "Just sayin'."
qdichris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase ... a word... "irregardless".
So basically, without regard to their actual level of decency, if they use 'irregardless', they are an idiot and should die in a fire.
Chef_Curry30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less"
otommyboy22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can be gay, just don't be all up in my face about it.
z932074 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like I just said..."
ted211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo. There's nothing worse than seeing a thirty something saying this.
AboveDisturbing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Agree to disagree" - you're just wanting to terminate the conversation because your stupid.
"Everyone is entitled to their opinion" - sure, but that doesn't mean those opinions are factually accurate. It's the same as saying everyone is entitled to be as stupid as they want regardless of what is demonstrably true.
"Irregardless...." - fuck you, that's not a damn word.
"I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual" - to quote Daniel Tosh, I'm not honest, but you are interesting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
jander19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Conflict resolution or leadership "buzz" words I guess you could call them. Particularly: Let's have a dialogue. No, that's for a script we're going to have a fucking conversation.
jabbawonky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh yeah, I'm like [insert random fraction] [insert random ethnicity]!"
McSnopper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who open or close with the statement, "To be honest." Especially when it's something they would have zero reason to lie about!
dogeatingdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say "I am going to loose it!" instead of "I am going to lose it!".
belleayreski2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"same difference"
Also, "sorry not sorry." Which is it dammit?!
RichardBigguns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get rekt.
arghkennett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Welcome to my world."
Degan747 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"A whole nother" shudders
BioOrpheus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PC MASTER RACE!
I am a PC gamer but GabeN circle jerkers are annoying and cringy if they do this in real life.
taylorac2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I talk with other gun owners about my WW2 era French MAS-36.
And at least 3/4ths of them spew the "Never fired, dropped once." line, as if it's original.
If you are too lazy to actually educate yourself about history, you shouldn't joke about it.
And yes, the rifle saw a lot of action, especially in the North African campaign.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because I said so.
Fearofdead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I didn't even have to try"
Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Narcissistic_nobody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
after someone says something really obvious or an im14andthisisdeep level observation "think about it"
abigolhotdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Must be nice."
MrGonghen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Welcome to my world"
-Trans-Am- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's what I'm talking about"
kingdomkindergarten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Honestly, ......"
Automatically makes me think they're full of shit.
ColonelBleepRescue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Starting a sentence with "To be honest"
EleJames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gluten free/vegan/anti-gmo
l3ane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: A ton of phrases that people don't actually say out loud, but rather write in social media.
TheOneTrueCripple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase that starts with "I seen...".
itsthematrixdood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they call a celebrity by their first name.
Slatters-AU ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. The way that gives them this air like they might know them. It also sounds really condescending.
A_fiSHy_fish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"!"
ab930 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference!"
No it's not!
Birds_iView ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" Don't use a slutty sex icon's saying to justify you being a bitch.
TheRealPizza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OMFG I LITERALLY JUST DIED
Wangchief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yolo" "legitly" (the word is legitimately),
TheRealKrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All of the sudden."
friendlyfatface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says the words "panties" or "moist", or even worse "moist panties!"
iamrangus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swag.
ferguson_cop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fleet" Or "some type of way"
HodorsGiantDick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Living the dream."
Dream bigger.
Sammichface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's rachet" or any other phrase involving the word ratchet that isn't referencing a tool.
kewlacious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am suspicious of people who don't like dogs and even moreso when my dog is suspicious of them" (or however it goes). The point is I am a good person who happens to not like dogs. Dogs sense my anxiety and bark at me. I cannot stand rash judgments like this one.
EatingYourDonut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ctrl-f "horoscope"
Nothing? I'm disappointed. People who believe in zodiac signs and the like make my skin crawl. It's my biggest turn off.
JovialPanic389 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me it is, when struggling with clinical depression and for some reason it will come up, "just stop being sad, stop it!"... uhm yeah let me just rewire my brain real quick... fix these synapses and shite.
witchy2106 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"check your privilege"
Man, shut the FUCK up.
1one1000two1thousand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boom.
AnOpinionatedPancake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh hey, my pizza!"
No it's not. It's not your fucking pizza you fucking fuck. Thanks for wasting my time, dicknose.
brangdangage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm the type of person that..."
Oh so you have a fixed mindset? You'll never change? You sound fun.
How about "these days, I'm the kind of person that..."
That's the growth mindset. Now you DO sound fun.
epicpotatofantasy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've read that book. Really sucks when I find myself thinking "I'm bad at the growth mindset."
philipwaldrop9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[when texting] anytime someone just says yeah or so. it makes it seem like i'm the only one that is engaging in the conversation
quickly_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
live laugh love
:barf
Diegomatias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cool beans"
._____.
bpc19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people who overuse the word 'bro'
soothslayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Shoot for the moon. If you miss, you'll be among the stars." No, you'll be among the lonely blackness of space. Things are not in close proximity out there.
flippypooper23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anytime when some one says "i only like real people"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like Trump because he doesn't care about political correctness."
AMart1901 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That is offensive"
VanderPhuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Working hard or hardly working?
SunshinyJuzez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anything that ends in "...bud".
son_of_saget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you never watched/played this when you were a kid then you had no childhood."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's because you're young."
This statement is always used condescendingly. My family recently realized that my views are a bit more left than theirs. It's because I am young. I recently separated from the church. It's because I am young.
No, it's because I am growing up and becoming my own person that has different views than you. It's no coincidence that after spending 9 months away at school that I suddenly began to reevaluate my beliefs.
GangstaShepard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO"
BOLIVER-SHAGNASTY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Smile sweetheart", "You look better with your hair down", "What's wrong? On your period?", "Oh you're hot? It must be menopause. ", Oh your stomach hurts? Are you pregnant?" To which I reply "No, I can't have anymore children." Which is always met with "You never know. I know a woman that said that now she has (insert qty of babies)".
This is just this week. Fuck.
jewbles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a DJ." In my experience, this roughly translates to, "I will make your walls shake at 4 am, you're just going to have to deal with it because I'm an artist."
gokuudo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the Patriarchy, White Power, Rape Culture, Black Power, well the bible says, Girl Power, Mighty Morph...never mind. The last one is cool.
doj101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Serious use of the word 'cray'.
Gap1293 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist but..."
If you're going to contradict the first part of that sentence, then you are, indeed, a racist.
procrastinatingstudy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Completely lost faith in humanity" fuck off
ballisticturtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"WORLD STAR!!"
averagemind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"#alllivesmatter"
thebedshow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
micro aggression or any mention of an entire group having privilege
brvheart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"FYI"
Bobcats12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Knowledge is power!
carolinaide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Boys will be boys!!!!"
Phileap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's leg day today." Good for you, shall you update me how it goes?
skryfy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I literally can't even."
cutyourface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when someone types out "should of" instead of "should have." I'm not even typically nuts about grammar, but then one indicates to me that you don't really grasp language, only the parroting of sounds
swantonist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist but"
ginjabeard13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With all due respect...
bensawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i think youre ugly
slogger_28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Starting a sentence with the word "so".
Cookie1203 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The people who say "honestly" all the time before they say something relatively important.
As if I'd be expecting you to lie...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who starts to ask/complain about a food being GMO.
lukazuke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, right?"
Hollowsong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Your stupid." or any other use of the wrong kind of "your/you're".
There's a basic level of intelligence needed to know WTF the difference is between "Your" and "You're". Not even being a grammar nazi on this one, it's just the line in the sand that I use as a benchmark for all people.
Works really well and alerts to stupidity faster than a pre-cog in Minority Report.
mayttr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My horoscope said...."
Sidney77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Beast mode"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is". I only hear exceptionally dumb people say this phrase.
Pagedpuddle65 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep whining and whining until I win"
Vaishbab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you share exciting news or developments and your friend says something like:
I know or I saw that
Bitch, I'm sharing stuff with you. Acknowledge it.
Runaway_5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love haters"
Yeah that means you're probably an asshole/bitch
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People on Facebook posting "like this for a message"
Ubiquibot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like, literally."
pyrex222 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't care" drives me up a wall, especially after I'm trying to explain something they just asked about.
cmdrqfortescue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who think "versus" is a verb and then conjugate it and use it in place of "to play".
"Who's playing?" "Giants are versing Colts."
"I really want to verse him, I could beat him easy."
It always seems to be 14yo boys who do this, so maybe they just don't know any better, but fucking hell it shits me so much. I immediately judge you as being an illiterate idiot.
xwhit3sniperx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it comes from "1v1 me breh quickscopes only" fucking little man syndrome.
Lindseyep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
live laugh love
Make it go away.
anyram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not
going togonna lie" coupled with some statement."The food was delicious, not gonna lie"
"Not gonna lie, she wasn't that hot" etc...
Eurgh
Cslamsat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Every man for themselves."
Golmore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely any use of the word "addicting".
I gagged typing it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"apologist", "boot-licker", both frequently used by the irrational police-hating crowd. Go to any /r/news thread about cops and you'll see them whipped out immediately any time anyone points out anything in the cops' favor.
DrowningApe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
โWhen I was at Stanford/Yale/Harvard/Princetonโ within ten minutes of meeting someone.
dusmeyedin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody who says "yeah, no" in a discussion.
Seriously, make up your mind!
biggs87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is making its rounds in corporate Canada: "How are you today" "Living the dream" Go fuck yourself if you say this. Also if you hate your job then quit. I hear it 3x a day. FML
Zubrowski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just another beautiful day in paradise."
horseradishfistfight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Another day in paradise!" My parents started saying this a lot a few years ago and I couldn't tell if they were doing it sarcastically because their marriage was failing or seriously as a way of trying to be upbeat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For all intensive purposes" = "For all intents and purposes"
TheGoodRevCL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What had happened was..." Aside from wanting to punch you in the face, this phrase (after working in a call center) I have come to associate with very poorly constructed lies.
BonusCode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ptv saved my life"
as_a__minority_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a $minority, ..."
nekoyasha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If that's what god wants" "I leave it up to god now."
"If god will allow it." "God works in mysterious ways."
Anything of that sort... I know too many people who leave things "up to god." I'm sorry, but if you want things to happen, you need to make them happen, not stand by and let "god" AKA 'Fate' decide.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll understand when you're older." NO. No. no.
lildil37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jet fuel doesn't melt steel.
lol1243 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Am i the only one".
Mistaken_Indemnity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone discounts something you say with a completely irrelevant, disrespectful start of, "That's okay," followed by some stupid bullshit.
No, it's not okay that you're belittling whatever it is I am going through, likely after you asked me what was wrong.
dessine-moi-un-chat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All of the sudden..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ugh..."
Deicide646260 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a Christian, I..."
X-Death ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I wasn't even trying"
when they want to save face and act like a narcissist.
ravcool15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me." I just hate it so much
chollymurphy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Omg I'm such a nerd! " First off, you're dumb as shit and I'm surprised you have a high school diploma. Secondly, I think you mean geek and just because you saw Ironman doesn't mean shit. Also liking super handsome dudes in glasses doesn't mean you like nerdy guys. GTFO
Applelegend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep whining and whining until i win"..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but...
Slatters-AU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can you do me a favour?" - Why do you expect me to ever answer yes to this without knowing the details. And the fact almost everyone naturally assumes that this sentences should guarantee them a Yes no matter what. Because you asked some what politely and then get all offended if I say no? Somehow that makes me rude...
sunshineyhaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a girl (and I say girl even though she was older than me) tell me once very proudly that she didn't work. I had just gotten off a twelve hour shift she was at my house she lit a cigarette inside and kept her shoes on and when she asked me what I did she told me I should go change out of my scrubs that I smelled. All this was rude as hell but I let it slide for the sake of civility until she she said I don't work when asked how she supported her six children by five different men she told me she got welfare and section eight, food stamps, and wic she went on to tell me how several different churches donated food and clothing and money to her. She got free daycare vouchers and free before/after school. Her mother had her children the majority of the time. I don't work.....that's what does it for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'd like Dilaudid and a turkey sandwich, please."
fairywizard_lady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Are we having fun yet?"
LeSidVicious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses the term "cis" to describe other people. It just smacks of instant judgment
BShirtless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I keep whining and whining until I win
Intellektual01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone says "irregardless", they immediately lose credibility. It's NOT a fucking word!!!
microdon23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU.
TomTao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a standard size window/door.
No, it's more than likely not. I do this for a living day in and day out. Don't get mad at me when I tell you that doors come in multiple "standard" sizes and that windows can vary in size from 18" to 54" in both width and height by 1/4 of an inch.
TheAdmiralCrunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"lol what a hater, you're so salty".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"im going out for a drink"
scampbe999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is funny when you read all the cynical comments about shitty human beings in the voice of Rick from Rick and Morty.
daemus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you want to come with?"
No. I want you to complete your fucking sentence.
jjkjrk12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is!". FUCK YOURSELF!
microdon23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. THANK you.
broostenq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's your sign?"
Run for the hills.
darthvolta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SJW
Gryffindorcommoner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't like The Walking Dead" that sentence is the fastest way to get me to hate you
A_Fork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother...
boop_you_to_hell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Call me princess because I am a princess!"
pandork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"tech savvy"
I hate that word. Savvy.
the_crazy-cat_lady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-at 3am- "Facebook is making me an insomniac!" Uhm, no.
ChicagoFaucet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ugh. I hate all the beers here."
It's beer. If it was good enough for Ben Franklin, it's good enough for you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but.."
and (in response to being told something they're doing saying is morally wrong) "Don't blame me, I was raised this way."
kabookye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything from jersey shore
liono69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist but ____________" As a progressive white guy living in Illinois it still astounds me how often I hear this from even close friends or relatives behind closed doors.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something something gong show. Like fuck off you're an adult in a executive position for a leading national insurer. Expand your damn vocabulary
zkxnyi278 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
for me it's 'if they wouldn't of pissed me off' like a 'i wouldnt of said/did that if you hadnt of made me so angry' sort of thing, when people blame their emotions on others and even much worse their actions. it's really creepy to me
Winter1scom1ng ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it's a free country"
ThachWeave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just a theory, but hey, so is gravity."
Not only is this fallacious, factually inaccurate, and misrepresents what a scientific theory is, but it also fails to provide any support for the person's aforementioned theory if you are aware of any of the above listed grievances.
If one was to create a sort-of heirarchy of scientific concepts, theories are actually higher than laws, having been thoroughly observed, documented, and proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. Meanwhile, in common dialect, "theory" is used interchangeably with "speculation."
CrispyAvocado ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't assume, it makes an ass out of u and me."
Nopeโฆ that phrase makes you an ass
badbradley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "not gonna lie but". That speaks volumes to me.
ToiletHumorPoet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What is a phrase that instantly makes you dislike someone strongly"
religionismyth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a gamer.
Ginner88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
TwistedLyricsRecords ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My/Your hair is on fleek"
I_fuck_burgers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a tradesman, the phrase "well back n alberta"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Zei33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. Fuck those people. Especially the ones who post images with it on their wall.
mgosiris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The clock is ticking.
This is a 911.
wiyumishere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it Thinna? Fixing to.. do something? I've never understood this phrase.
WilliamGamache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is "YOLO" a phrase?
fisherguy2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Time to watch my show" Or just the use of 'my' when it doesn't apply. Stop pretending like it's so important. It's not.
hozay09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry, its policy" -blind rage
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that, I'm not getting fired for your arse. If you ask me why I can't let you walk around the store with a couple of mobile phones that were just locked in a glass case a moment ago and I say "Sorry, it's policy, can't let you do that." you're just going to have to deal with it.
uhLOL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when you say your "wheelhouse," you do mean your car, correct?
epzik8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Most [x]-est", which is improper grammar and redundant (like "most strongest", "most coolest", etc.) It seems to be mostly a teenage girl thing.
lemonminge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"just saying" ....or...... "hashtag justsaying"
Lydiajufar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You mad bro?!" gag.
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nah nah nah umadbro?
ThePeterParker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Should of
Listen2God ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo
Nexulus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is". Such a useless phrase.
GidsWy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't even"...can't even what?? Rub two brain cells together to finish that thought?!
Also "fleek". Brows on fleek, hair on fleek...I don't fucking care, stop using that idiotic word.
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Shit ton". WTF does that even mean?
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slang. It's like if I said fair dinkum. It just approximates to something else. Shit ton would be the equivalent of saying "a lot" but with more impact.
Citizen_of_Atlantis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There are two types of people in the world..."
I instantly tune out anything a person has to say after that.
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not exactly untrue. For example, "There are two types of people in this world, the type with money, and the type without.". There's a pretty solid line between those two things.
dirtmerchant1980 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check your privilege
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You cis, white, het, male scum.
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just don't understand what it's like to be a necrophilic, polygendered, woodsexual.
microdon23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"... to be honest with you...". So what have you been doing up till NOW??
spyker54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I believe that evolution is a lie and climate change is a conspiracy because [insert celebrity name/clickbait article here] said so, and they would never lie! They know everything!"
Jah_Ith_Ber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"chemicals"
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Magnets.
MrSeabody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything containing the following words/phrases: "On accident" / "apposed" (instead of supposed) / "I'mma" / "Like" (as in, "I was, like, totally drunk").
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So basically fucking idiots lol
MrSeabody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know smart people prone to this, but yeah. Pretty much. :P
Benjiinthewild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word 'Brunch'! It's fucking 'early Lunch' or 'late Breakfast'.
Angrysausagedog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No.. brunch is a small meal inbetween breakfast and lunch, also called morning tea, or smoko (aus)
nunie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
let's make amaerica great again.
notappropriateatall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as someone starts defining themselves as something I want to gouge my eyes out. "I'm a feminist," "I'm a vegan," "I'm a conservative," whatever. I strongly dislike people that define themselves by these contrived movements that are mostly full of shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Nuff said.
Zei33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OMG you must hate me lol, the comment I made about the phrase I hate had this phrase right under it lol. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3gljgr/what_is_a_phrase_that_makes_you_instantly_dislike/cu017bs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:-)
Biggdaddyrich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yaaaaaaassssss"
LoLignPrize ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: Obligatory thanks for gold kind stranger! XD
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'That person is sooo faakee' or 'I'm so souped right now'
IsabelWang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" /r/InfluencePsychology isn't awesome"
TheGreatBenjie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason!
EkoGREEN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any asshole at work who says, "are we/you having fun yet?"
otto3210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"so clutch"
Agent_Slevin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is." Most of the time that's just a cop out for someone too lazy to change things.
Clockwrrk22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when people say "awesome sauce" or "weak sauce" or "cool beans" or "totes magotes" or "smh"
h3lix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
whatever.
KING_0F_REDDIT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anywho will make me clean my gun.
PowerHungryFool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Soz"... eeugh.
TheSubtleSaiyan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sigh I KNEW this would be a thread of Reddit Clichรฉs, but I clicked anyway.
Ctrl + F "If you can't handle me at my worst..." yup.
SassyWhaleWatching ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't do anything.
one_love_silvia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
LordMetallian616 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's SO RANDOM!"
SpicaGenovese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Foilage."
IT'S FOLIAGE YOU PONCE!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Touch base" and "the Internet of things"
habor11111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yo" "Do you know who I am?"
Hate_Manifestation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I ask how someone is doing (usually in a construction setting) and they answer
FUCKing. Slap. Your FACE off.
EST1973 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I seen you.
BleakBlue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Haters gon' hate."
cyanbane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone calls me "Son" who is not my father.
i.e. "Damn, Son! That was awesome."
a_queefelball_bat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have a good one.
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a feminist, come check out my tumblr" nuff said.
davidaustin601 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The struggle bus" and "The struggle is real"
columbo222 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't even..."
Pokegamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're ruining my flow, man!
Douchebag alert, 3000% of the time
Waxing_Poetix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Does this make me look fat?" I would rather backpack through an endless meadow of cockpunches than answer that question.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"ball is life"
Vinkol23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have kids"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Job security!!"
You not being an asshole would still mean I have a job. I'm good at my fucking job.
soliloquy87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't like dogs"
my knee jerk reaction is to think "I dont like you"
r7RSeven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not saving any money for my kids. It's my money and I want to spend it myself."
I wouldn't mind this statement usually, but the person who said it infuriated me for being entitled. It was a 60ish year old woman who probably was born and raised in the U.S.
The reason why it was so infuriating is because her parents probably lived through the great depression, and as most know, those who lived through that tried to provide as much as they could for their kids. Now someone whose parent lived through the great depression and doesn't personally want to provide for their own kids makes me seem them as someone who got the world handed to them and are being selfish not sharing it with their kids.
NoPainNoShane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Workin' hard or hardly workin'?"
shad0w1432 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm double jointed"
lilames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I need a lemon for my water.
Spaced_out4u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't vaccinate my kids because big pharma/toxins/some other dumb excuse"
Yep. Have a nice life.
SolarisIX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep whining and whining until I win" -Dolan Tramp
Hixomdido ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You might not have heard of it."
Ckb79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I only use Android" "I only use windows" "I only use iPhone" "I only use Mac" "I only use chrome"
Etc
kwpg3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So."
framesftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just Chill bro" or "chill fam! Omg"
Stressog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down.
macrob25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a film student and the first day my professor said "And those new Dark Knight movies, which are just awful..." I don't know what he said after that. I blacked out from rage.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So, why aren't you going to school?"
Said to me after they learn i live at home and don't have a job. Well, first of all, I made a decent amount of savings off of my last job, so i'm taking a vacation because fuck it why not, and second of all, I have a learning program from home, because 2 hours of commute a day should be avoided when possible. Third, Fuck you i do what i want.
DazyLave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO.
YourFloorIsLava ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
It just strikes me as a defeatist statement more than anything else.
Droopy1943 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My spirit animal is (insert not animal)" "(Insert anything) is bae" "Shut up and take my money"
Yumkarepie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything "on fleek." Ew. That word makes me cringe so hard.
YSKB12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not for anything..."
hakobox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cause I can."
gvanmoney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any girl who calls men "daddy".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wake up America!
SkipTown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool story bro.
GenrlEisenhower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"A man's gotta eat."
I know I don't want to hang out with you
JonJacobJingleheimer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't care what people think of me."
It doesn't make you edgy. It makes you a sociopath.
And it's also a lie, since you seem so desperate for people to think this of you.
CaptainCazio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Story time!
konigfruhstuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is... hate that bullshit.
the_hibachi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Old school" like things stopped getting better in whatever field we are discussing 20+ years ago. Context doesn't matter, I always hate it.
photogdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not gonna lie."
Thank you for not lying to me.
craigkeller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I think Donald Trump is a viable candidate for President"
Bambi53 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone who says "whilst".
reinnsreinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not really into reading"
All my hate. Just go away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for your own good"
*pulls out knife *sshhhh.... No screams only dreams now *stabs *wispers.... Everything happens for your own good
Waxing_Poetix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When kids say "LOL" instead of laughing.
iusedtogotodigg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"brain fart"
nothing615 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People that continually say "just sayin." Those people need to be exterminated.
SPIB0X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How you doinnnnn in joey from friends voice
Makes me want to punch them right in the face.
t3hPoundcake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You used to sell it." Oh yeah rich old white lady? "We don't sell it anymore."
asantos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Looks like someone's got the case of the Mondays."
dudegod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Donald Trump for president!"
ford310nm1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From someone who is in shape: "I'm so fat. I look like a cow"
vargonian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have no regrets."
Then you're a fucking sociopath and you probably create a wake of destruction everywhere you go.
el_jefe15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say shit like "this generation is fucked" or "this generation is full of idiots", especially people who are a part of said generation.
I mean I'm 14 and I'm stupid as fuck but can you not see that kids have been dumb since the dawn of humanity? We're no different so just shut up.
Grape_Room ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when people say "I only want 'natural' or 'chemical free' products. I work in a cosmetic store and I hear it at least once a day. Know what else is natural? Arsenic. Lead. Mercury. Also, do you know what happens to cosmetics without a preservative? They rot and sometimes even mold.
madhouse15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend had a housemate who would do shit without asking, or use your stuff or get you to do shit, then say "oh I hope you don't mind, but..." and do it in this guilt-making way.
Note: It didn't help that he ran a fox rescue and they stank up the entire house.... with his 3 cats, and their fleas hopping all over the house. Let's say my girlfriend left the house after about 3 weeks.
Gorthon-the-Thief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Why should I go to the doctor? I know my body better than they do."
Okay.
gothelder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dank. Use it and I wasn't too slap you.
Iamthatguy7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses the word "creep" or "creepy". I cringe every time someone says it.
EMSEMS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ignorance is bliss"
elusivewater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Go do something productive/go outside" when I was a kid. I played video games a lot sure but I actually enjoyed it. Wtf was I going to do when I was outside? Stare at a tree or kick a rock? I knew like one other kid across the street from me.
Byrdman216 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something along the lines of, "Yeah, but scientists can't know everything."
No shit. No one can know everything, but maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there who knows more than you, especially about chemistry, or meteorology, or anything involving years of study and research. It's not magic, you're just a dumbass.
xBlackIce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Their opinion) followed by, "REAL TALK!"
buttonforest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's only illegal if you get caught."
"I hate drama! That's why I only hang out with guys."
Anything that is dismissed as being part of the liberal media's agenda.
TheCameraLady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody who uses "Whatever."
Or alternatively, somebody who uses "gross" to mean "something i arbitrarily don't like for any number of reasons right now".
PopeBud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a customer service management level person: "I pay your paycheck!". The fuck you do. Just because you pay your bills, or don't, doesn't entitle you to something special.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love listening to insert_pundit_here . They really tell it like it is." I always makes me distrust the person or group that was mentioned, because people only say that about people who are pushing an agenda that they agree with.
arcxjo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Social justice."
Justice is blind. Once you start socializing, she's anything but.
KleineSchatten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone seriously fucking whines about "ableism" in an outright idiotic context.
A good example being the whole "Oh my bleeding fuck, therapists without mental disorders are so ableist" or the types who shit the bed in abject horror over the atrocity of the word "stupid".
numbermess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well there you have it!
Smithers24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It doesn't affect me personally, so why should I care about it?"
number__eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that starts with "false" or "incorrect". And throw an "ignorant" in there while explaining to me several things that anybody with a pulse knows as if I hadn't already considered them. Then break your wrist patting your own back for winning when I don't respond because I've realized the conversation is one sided and ultimately pointless.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people say things like "you dont no what ive been thru" as an excuse for the inexcusable actions they do.
Another is when trashy people publicly say " 'so and so' was runnin their mouth". I really dislike the term "running their mouth". It's vague and it sounds trashy.
GorgeWashington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We did it Reddit!"
_md ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not '(racist/sexist/homophobic/[other])', but...."
Neckbeard-OG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just a simple down to earth gal, I hate drama lol"
(on dating site profiles)
Or anything that instantly contradicts the previous statement. "I'm shallow but I'm deep" "simple but mysterious" or whatever. Instant cognitive dissonance.
Also - the first time I met a coworker and he was in the middle of telling the group how the holocaust was a myth at his new hire lunch. So there's that.
ReconV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dated a girl once who used to always say the words, "Oh Shiz!!". Every time she was scared or something excited happened it'd be," Oh Shiz!!". I guess it was something she started because of Snoop's "Foshizzle" (I enjoy this) but it got to the point where I had to speak up about it. I just wanted her to at least finish the rest and add the "Nit" or "Izzle". Her bestfriend got so pissed that I had said anything that she invited a third wheel on our double date so my gf at the time could date them instead. She was beautiful, an easy 10/10, and I gave it all up because of a word she kept using at the same time she dragged me to Tyler Perry movie (DOAMBW) when it all happened.
"When you lose don't lose the lesson"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He or she "tells it like it is."
thatryry0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHO DID THIS?!?!๐ญ๐ญ๐
daemus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On the cheap"
ryballer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone that uses "and whatnot" on a regular basis
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the Idea Guy
Manofchalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's just an ideas man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Lrbw4-vkFM
ehartke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I keep whining and whining until I win"
peggyeighteen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word "problematic". Just anywhere.
GreatApeFlexin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If all these poor people were just stronger in spirit..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It ain't easy being cheesy"
Shut up your over-rated chips!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"... That's just MY Opinion!"
... You're right. It's shitty and probably based on factual inaccuracies, but it sure is YOUR opinion!
boxofrox50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've said it before, and it will never change, "Do what now?" It's only made worse when pronounced more as a single word than as a phrase. "Doowatnau?" My rage is provoked when this garbage is uttered, particularly when I didn't ask you to DO anything. I ONLY asked for your name.
R0astbeefsandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference"
BasedProphetPaulie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm talking to someone and they say "drop it" as in drop the conversation.
AnniversaryRoad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know what I mean?"
MysterJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
99% of phrases that use the word "literally."
Captain_Aizen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, I'm not interested in dating you"
peace_love_mcl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I cringe when someone describes something as being "jazzy". Or when someone is referred to as being a "cool cat"
KiSamehada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Faith in humanity restored" kind of stuff. Get off your pedestal and stop thinking you are the expert on morals.
blahtherr2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi. I'm a feminist."
gruesome_hary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guys tells joke, "Isn't that funny though?"
St_rmCl_ud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The struggle
Mcfattius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aloha, said by non-Hawaiians out-side of hawaii
doc_suede ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anything to do with 'manifesting'
heart_of_gold1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a people person.
LokiKamiSama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you KNOW how much money I spend here?"
jyveturkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey boo!" Don't call me boo. Ever.
hookydoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when anyone uses clutch as an adjective. " dude, that was sooo clutch". It rustles my jimmies to no end.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hearing people shout "SLAYER!" drives me up a fucking wall. There's seriously one of those dudes at like every concert.
crlboy94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry. Never sorry." Causes instant hatred.
SeparateCzechs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blah-Blah-Blah would never do (mean/greedy/cruel/dishonest thing that they absolutely did do) Blah-Blah-Blah is a Christian!
GameMusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"the exception that proves the rule"
LearntDown4Wat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone is talking to me about something or asking me something and in the middle of my reply they interupt me saying (i.e.): "anyway, blah blah..."
Yeahn this is pretty upsetting and rude.
Edit: "they" not "the"
eli_mao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"PROBLEMATIC" B|
bodyreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blah blah blah, no?
WhiskeySeal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this is the place for malapropisms, but: "For all intensive purposes."
Istillloverandy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"on accident"
uncle-jebus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually,
Shesamightyship ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's your sign!" ..|..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am a pacifist."
FartSparkles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I get a locals discount?" I live in a popular ski town in Colorado. If you have to ask you just moved here.
dudewiththebling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My relative is a lawyer."
Camelbus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All these dank filled up votes count me in
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He's not even hot." I knew this girl who thought the only redeeming quality about a guy was his attractiveness. She chose who her doctor was simply because he was hot, not because of his education and skills as a physician.
shehasnoclue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not [racist/homophobic/younameit] but..."
NO, YOU ARE.
khanman47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"did i fucking stutter"
Kaffein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There should be a law..."
tehgyb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
person opens mouth any words come out Pretty much.
PopChipsLover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I told you so!
Augug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shares a recipe or a craft - "I'm totally doing this"
Fuckin do It already then
Guardsmen122 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"OP should of tagged it as serious"
Always gets me...
ericacs94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's because Im a [enter zodiac sign] and that's why im so stubborn/ etc."
vibrantdanni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Be the change you want to see in the world"
So frustratingly overused by every pump up event and speech. I liked this once, but now I'm just sick of it and it makes me feel that the person is lazy and jingoistic in their positive feelings.
boarderdudephukup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm gluten free."
fckn_rockstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone responds to every other sentence with "Right?!"
rosethorny_glasses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you to the moon and back!"
brianonline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'they did [a terrible thing]..... but they meant well'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So much hate... I say some of these phrases too. Yikes!
BeefHands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"that's weird"
MulberrysDream24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" I. Literally. Can't. Even"
amwreck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist, but..."
MrBookerIfYoureNasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not sexist, but..."
finiteglory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thnx
Newsocksarenice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
please subscribe
I_Zayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Why do you talk to [Insert name here]?"
I don't owe you an explanation >.>
Romanopapa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever!
Abarn279 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ratchet", or "That's my 'ish'"
ThankYouMrUppercut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How dare you?"
Get the fuck over yourself already.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"you know...the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"
Every.Time.
artsyamber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow! You're short!
kal-ev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Your call is important to us" - that's funny, because you are doing everything possible to show my call is not important.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, right?"
ParkwayDriven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
' Totally, dude."
UnbittedLusts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally anything.
Gottagettagoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, right?"
shred1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This ain't my first rodeo" It's just a dick thing to say.
reki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: I learn I'm probably the most hated person ever, as I use some of these all the damn time. Hopefully, some of these depend on context >.>
GGritzley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But it has to work"
Some things are just technical impossibilities.
JLR- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
Bob_Jonez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sup
Grammaton485 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here's the thing...
Cavewoman22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let's have a conversation" Spoken by any limp-dicked politician anywhere after a national tragedy or when some kind of controversy arises.
stateofyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less"
psycharious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The actual phrase that had been misused is, "I couldn't care less."
kstruckwrench ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My mom didn't raise any fools." Usually contrary to strong contradictory evidence.
WhiskeyHotel83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
trackrunner364 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omg we are so #dysfunctional
chapterpt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Starting any sentence with "as a"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bullish arrogance drawn from one's socially protected status. This can be drawn from something one would consider more of a minority status like race, sexuality or something like being a house wife where calling them out on their bullshit could potentially be more trouble than it's worth for you or anyone who might actually want to back you up, or it can be drawn from the perceived superiority due to being rich, college educated, religious (moral high ground or because they belong to a group that's number dominate a particular region) etc.
In many cases it's apparent that you're going to hate them pretty quickly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL look at how small it is.
MistaTom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
Rigby_Danger_Flex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He/She/They're so weird"
I instantly assume you're sheeple.
Atmospheer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Electronic music? You mean that techno crap?"
"If you don't roll, what's the point/ how do you have fun?"
MrSurname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Working hard, or hardly working?"
Justanaussie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day..."
This is just.... fuck... it makes no sense... at the end of the day what? At the end of the day what you're saying will be right? Why isn't it right now? Why does everything hang on what happens at the end of the day.
And what about tomorrow? Do we start this shit all over again?
What about yesterday? Is everything from there now wrong because it's end of the day is not our end of the day? What the hell is so special about our end of the day? Why is ours right and everyone else's wrong?
And why is it at the end anyway? Why isn't it at the beginning? Why not at lunch? What about afternoon tea?
Why the fuck is our very existence determined by what happens at the end of this fucking day?
FUCK!!
I don't like that phrase.
pugdogs10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe no one in here has said "Yolo" yet. I can't fucnking stand that. Like that is a good way to get arrested/killed.
billyjoebobboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Any-who"
IrrelevantLeprechaun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can't wait for Eric Church's new album."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Mind your own beeswax"
Pullmeinside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So blessed
HotHotHeet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Welcome to the real world"
vox165 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I went to university of phoenix"
Not_Your_Mom_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
knappster44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...that's just my truth."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
technogeist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When anybody says this above. Retarded is a word, it has different meanings and each one can be said in different contexts. It usually has nothing to with or even relates in any way to insulting people. Also, a person who has a developmental disability is developmentally retarded, saying they are retarded is not an insult, calling them a retard is.
DJRC_Too ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Vintage Orton"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Catcher in the Rye is a great book
hiways ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry be happy. Or Neat!
DrBoobCheese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, I was just gonna say..."
We know you were gonna say something because you made an attempt to join the conversation by raising your hand, etc.
Shut up and just say it. I just got so angry thinking about this.
mrbishere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My bad or happy camper
ColdHardTruthGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that goes along the lines of shit happens or life is weird. For example "such is life." YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE ALEX/CURROPT
feedmequotes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"it is what it is"
JDynes82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Also too". Don't know why, it just makes me insane.
BourbonLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dank....or swag. & It is what it is
Req_It_Reqi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After the spam in one of my university's facebook groups, anything to do with eels and puns.
kentrildumon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "And then this fucking [insert racial slur here]..." I walk away.
iggy14750 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, I LOVE philosophy!!1!
blurghh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry I'm not politically correct but..." Followed by asinine and usually hateful comment. You're right you're not being politically correct, you're being an asshole
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Significant other", just say fucking girlfirend, boyfriend, husband or wife.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When asked what the time is, "Time for you to get a watch"
Retro-Squid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less"
It seems to mostly be an American thing, but it is very wrong...
If you could care less, then you do care...
"I couldn't care less" on the other hand implies that you have no fuck to give.
BlopBleepBloop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"dat ___ tho"
opsa01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's been a hot minute"
I just can't like someone who says this.
hungerfordhero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in I.T & Change management. Customers/Project sponsors using 'We are where we are' to explain away this month's shit storm, because they wouldn't listen to basic common sense, makes me want to literally murder them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who starts a sentence with, "All I know is..." Please don't complete that sentence, because if it is unclear to me, you have already told me that you know nothing else, so you probably could not elaborate.
dIGITAL_cLARKE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No worries.
phatmanrunning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"YOLO" Thats all it takes.
itsatrapp_eh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do me a solid", if you say this we can not be friends.
Ligga-Nips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is a phrase that makes you instantly dislike someone strongly?
thatszqt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I wouldn't call myself me a feminist, but I think women and men are equal."
psycharious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing that causes me to dislike them strongly, but there are definite warning signs of people who are full of themselves:
"Just so you know, my I.Q. is....."
(I'm smarter than you)
"I'm a social butterfly!"
(I'm a snowflake)
"I'm witty and sarcastic."
(I have a personality, I swear!)
"I tell it like it is."
(I have no social tact but I want to make it come off edgy so it's not a blow to me ego).
"I hate when people try to give advice."
(I just want you to be my emotional waist basket when I vent. Don't try to give me an outside view that could shed light on my stupid decisions)
"I'll pray for you."
(I won't do shit for you, but I'd like to feel like I do).
"You're projecting...."
(I heard this once on an episode of Criminal Minds, and it's a good way to deflect my bullshit onto someone else.)
"I'm a real catch and I deserve better."
(as opposed to everyone else?)
"[insert demographic] needs to check their privileges!"
(I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M YELLING ABOUT!)
edwhnbeasuijfgdhbnws ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When does the narwhal bacon?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word Shizzle aggravates me.
ghostb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am going to go HAM"
Teocyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL that no matter what I say, someone is gonna dislike me. Cool.
ghostb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm nerdy." Go fuck yourself.
Lurlex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the middle of an argument:
"Well, he/she has the RIGHT to their opinion!!!!"
Mother-fuggin' DUH. That's a red herring thing to say, and it means nothing. Nobody's arguing about their RIGHT to think what they think. What's the point of even going there?
Having the 'right' to your opinion is not the same thing as having some kind of invulnerability against criticism towards that opinion. The moment you open your mouth and say what you think, you're inviting me to do the same. Period.
Wintermute_01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spoken internet content.
I used to work with a guy, late 30's, who would insert internet memes into casual conversation, like his favorite "Dat ____ Tho". This was amplified by his being a contact juggler who would use a Fushigi or pop and lock the entire time he was speaking to you and not otherwise occupied. I wanted to set his goatee on fire.
IAmProcrastinating ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna grab some noms?
I hate grab and noms so much! I don't know quite why, but I think it's because how hard those words are trying to be hip and fun
Mikkylsoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word "kid" on the end of every sentence. I think this is kind of a regional thing though.
Folly_Inc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a math person" like fucking hell your not! It's one and fucking one and fucking one which is a total of 4 not fucking hard.
Alternatively, "that looks too heavy" it's a goddam 50 lb desk and there are 4 of us. SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP AND GET THOSE SWEETCHEAKS HAULING IKEA MADE LUMBER!
wschus63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One and one and one is three.
Folly_Inc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One and fucking one and fucking one is worth 4 points in ticket to ride.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Give 110%. No, that's mathematically impossible you idiot. Stop demanding the impossible and accept that you're too demanding.
_blub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"... Now watch me nae nae", without being sarcastic.
alexispiazza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reason is because
alexispiazza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reason is because
ItsBobsledTime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm the kind of person that..."
alexispiazza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reason is because
formatlostmypw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'what are you doing'
alexispiazza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reason is because
epistemic_humility ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"c'est la vie"
"I can't even"
FadedGenes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that includes the word "detox".
PublicEnemyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense". Like, I can talk shit, but you can't get mad...
neeneepoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not so much a phrase but when people try to "pull me up" on something to make me look stupid. I would punch all of them in the face. Instantly.
cannotspellwrite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when someone says, "I could care less".
LondonCultured ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fucking your daughter.
LackeyManRen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to [insert meaningless goal here]."
I work with a guy who said this when he was hired. He is infuriating.
tturedditor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to sound a little wacky and I will admit it is based on limited personal experience. But when I hear someone describe another person as "good peoples" it gives me the chills. I base this opinion solely on a few people I know who I consider to be assholes using this phrase to describe other people I also view as assholes. It seems to be code for "this person shares the same narrow views I do that I judge their character on, while I completely disregard some major personality flaws they possess".
Just my experience.
AudioSuede ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime anyone uses terms from 1984 in casual conversation, like "Groupthink," "Thought Police," or "Big Brother," I instantly tune out.
beauty_contest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
wickedspork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Shilly shally Dilly dally" FUCK YOU RACHAEL LEIGH COOK
HeyRachelK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When I went to University," said by an American.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm doing good"
OR
"It worked out good"
No you're doing well godamnit. And nothing can work out good, only well. Hearing people use good improperly is like scratching nails on a chalkboard to me. I'm in GA so I hear this quite a bit
ShelSilverstain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The victim was a mother/veteran/senior citizen!"
Nobody deserves to be a victim. There is no "worse victim." In looking at you, media outlets.
MDT1221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm an entrepreneur."
Northus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SJW phrases. Also, I dislike "hear me out" for some reason, it diminishes the chances that I will, and people who feel a need to crawl in the dirt for asking a question ("forgive my ignorance/stupidity" etc). Just ask the goddamn question.
ArryPotta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dank memes.
exk33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work somewhere where there are a lot of children. Children 2 and under get in for free, so I have parents coming up to me saying "oh he's only 67 months." Someone already mentioned the whole month thing but I can't stand when people do this.
zdelarosa00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like all kinds of music"
dukenukem3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is the death penalty reason actually.
erinn1986 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late, but anyone how uses "u" or "r" for "you" and "are" or "our".
Avogadro101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not gunna lie, (insert something mildly insulting here).
Not gunna lie, go fuck yourself.
VerySuperGenius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can you not?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is
VeryTalentedArtist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but...."
FUCK YOU! If you're gonna say some racist stuff it doesn't help if you say that before.
EliteEight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO.....Fuck you.
argofrakyourself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1) "Work your magic." Sorry, what I do is not MAGIC. I'm glad you think so, but it's skill, knowledge and hard work.
2) "my partner in crime" in reference to a significant other. Please find a new cliche to describe your elevated fuck buddy.
sm1lsta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'on point'
GOTSMAHTEEF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"I've been doing that my whole life!" ... [for any activity that this person has obviously never done in their life yet claim to all the time. Of which they are the highest expert in].
If I mention I went tomato picking there is always one person that is "Oh, I have been tomato picking my whole life!". Fuck you guy and your imaginary tomatoes.
isaaclikeafox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Because, I said so."
RedBeard06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What do you know? You have white privelage!" From the sixteen year old student wearing AE clothing and carrying around a D&B purse.
Meanwhile I'm wearing the same jeans I bought four years ago for a shitty job I hated so that I could put myself through expensive as hell college to pursue a degree that will give me life of constant homework. I'm so privileged to get fucked by my job, the government, and everyone else because I'm a hard working middle class American with morals and a desire to not accept help.
kaisermikeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Murica"
Devaluing a nation of 300 million, responsible for an astounding percentage of humanities scientific, medical, technological, and industrial achievements because a small portion of us revel in stupidity (just like in every country).
lostintranslation__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays!
megadethpantera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Looping in (person) xyz. So fucking overused in my company emails.
OG1GTP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blaming their stupidity on ADD.
newtsontoast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything with "Bro" or bro's evil twin "Brah"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
any time a guy tells me to smile. I will go off on him.
redpiano82991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not a racist, but..." because you know that whatever comes out of their mouth next is going to be the very definition of racism. It's not even that you're a racist, you do whatever makes you happy, but now you're also a fucking liar.
wiegie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Barack HUSSEIN Obama", emphasis on middle name.
Ultimate44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh you're young, it can't be that hard"
Fuck you. I work 50 hours a week and go to school. I get 3 hours a sleep a day during the work week. No matter how young I am, it aint easy.
Angedelune ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, we don't own a TV." - said in holier than thou voice
or from lady I met at my mother's house "Don't give him that Spiderman balloon, Jesus is the only super hero he needs to know about."
miszivy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When any snobby mother starts talking about natural childbirth. "I had my baby via 100% natural, non medicated childbirth."
Most women would bring this up as if this in some way makes them superior to other women who chose to be medicated (hello, that shit fucking HURTS!), or those that couldn't have the option for a natural childbirth due to some abnormality, like myself. FUCK these women, they are all assholes with egos way too big to even see outside of their stupid little organic, au naturale worlds.
smoooo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:32:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is especially obnoxious cause all birth is natural! Unless you were hatched or something.
GamerGirlsPmMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm such a nerd"
Bkillawhale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo
IJacoby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Roll Tide.
RelativetoZero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Legitly." It takes all I have not to red out and disembowel the person I hear say it with my teeth.
countdownkpl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Time is money.
Money is not as valuable.
gribnogrib ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"triggered"
Itsweird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cess pool", "disgusting", and "slap in the face" when people talk about things they don't particularly care for or minor inconveniences that are totally harmless. As you can imagine, Reddit drives me crazy.
Bennyr4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate people that reply with only 'Lol'" And said person only reply's with "lol" themselves...
SommSage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blah blah blah....kardashian....blah blah blah
CannaBizMarkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ending statements with "but that's just my opinion"
p5ych0metrix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kudos!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"this!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like, Like, and Like It's Like, you know kinda like the thing that i like, like that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"all men are pigs". No bitch, you're just an asshole
Swine70 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist butt..."
Yensangu420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I roll in Monday and someone says "Nothing like another day in paradise!"
piifffff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone calls me โguyโ.
rich815 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anywho.
Level1Barbarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
Guejarista ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wow. Just... Wow"
Even writing it makes me hate myself a little bit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No black guys. Not racist, just a preference"
Also accepted:
"I don't date black guys"
kindofabuzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:36:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must be black and get hurt when they say that?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:43:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great submission also :). But seriously, it's more about how ridiculous I find the idea of having race as a criteria for love.
mjoallie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well...is it any different than someone not liking to date a blonde? Or someone that's fat or thin?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:41 on August 19, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, do you think there's a single characteristic (beyond superficial stereotypes) in all blondes or fat/skinny people that would make them unattractive? I don't.
goodtago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest with you... I mean, wtf, do you need to say that for you to be honest with me? When you don't say it are you lying your ass off? Do you have such low credibility that you need to preface your comments by proclaiming your own veracity? I'll be the judge of whether you're being honest, and you do your thing, honest or not. And if "not," then just stay the fu#k away from me. Got it?
mrscarrieoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pray for you." No thank you!!!
katgtak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's so gay" where gay is used as a derogatory term. Makes me cringe every time...
Protocal_NGate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not my job to...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
GreyFoxNinjaFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same difference".
mack3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I ask you a question?"
YOU JUST DID MOTHERTRUCKER!!!
erinsylvia92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is when you go to someone's house and they are all " Sorry my place is trashed" Except is looks just fine.
Adeviate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't really think of anything that isn't just plain offensive and shitty.
People who get upset about things like "YOLO!" or "bae" really baffle me. Who gives a shit what non-word buzzword everyone is using?
kindofabuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's all part of god's plan."
golden_equation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is '... makes you ...'. I hate you instantly now! People have free will, and a person CHOOSES whether to hate. (I don't really hate you. I just wanted my comment to create a circular reference.)
mattdawg8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"KCCO" Fuuuuuuuuuck off
Calamityclams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not ..... but .....
Zerocalory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a feminist.
Skully853 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am going to warm up a bagel and have sex with it. Ah, butters in the fridge. Atlas, no one gets the reference but reddit well and family guy fans. DAMN
l0lloo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One piece sucks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm on tumblr a lot"
LOJO121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "In no way, shape or form."
smoooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I immediately lose respect for anyone who uses the word epic
ChipotleTurds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best"
"Thanks for the gold, kind stranger"
"Keep calm and carry on"
steakbird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Northern California, so when I hear people say "Helllaaaaaaa", I slowly start to back away. Had a guy ask me one time "well, if not hella, what should I say then??"
to which I replied ".... a lot?"
SkullShapedCeiling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"that doesn't make any sense!" yes, yes it does. everything makes sense. what you mean to say is that it does not make sense to you, which is a far cry from something not making sense in general. people like to automatically assume that something is implausible or impossible just because they're not intelligent enough to understand it. my father does this all the time and it's annoying as all hell.
AlmostEasy89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he's annoyed that you don't understand implication and shortening of general phrases in language for convenience. It makes sense.
SkullShapedCeiling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
of course it makes sense, everything makes sense, i just said that. but he's not. i know my father and he is not a smart man.
sup_mello ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No Homo."
I thought you were gay, so glad you cleared that one up.
Alex3324 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Expresso
IN-sur-ence
supposably
Pitcher (for picture)
TheIronMoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they say the word random more tgan once per breath or day.
SpK_tk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just sayin', but..."
No.
Just cause you're just sayin' it doesn't make it less offensive.
1680X105 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A question from anyone that begins with a smug and pretentious "Do you even"
Annatto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's ratched!
Callaway12310 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Because that's how we've always done it."
theWolfeman88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Apples to oranges."
BITCH, why can't fruit be compared?
Also, "I literally can't even..." What? You can't finish your sentence or figure out how to use the word "figuratively"?
GentIemanBastard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:05:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LD? Is that you?
ohnomybutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it is what it is
sedatedcow420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My body is my temple" - only because it's usually used by some pretentious girl on the latest fad diet.
And "zero fucks were given" - when it is followed by something they obviously gave a fuck about and had to mention
TheIronMoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone trying to guilt me into or of anything. Especially those who go about it by showing me gruesome shit and telling me im a bad person for not staring at it or donating to their cause. Also any video with "arms of the angels" as background music.
I have taken to yelling "FUCK YOUR PLIGHT" as i change the channel.
Doctorgss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Live life to the fullest, you only live once.
paisleyscottydog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You know what you need to do....."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TAKIN WHAT WERE GIVIN CUZ WE'RE WURKIN FOR A LIVIN!!!
Do you like Huey lewis and the news?
Thunderpuss_5000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone types in a reply by beginning with, "um.....".
smokes03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"... I keep whining and whining until I win."
black_bard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any of these stupid acronyms being used
charlie7613 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it sucks that a FB mssg is the top response - I'm old school - I can't imagine actually judging someone on FB, can't say if I'll like or dislike someone until I meet them in person. BTW - I hate when people say - "I'm old school."
Slurgly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"welp"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cool beans
jstalin_x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a moment to talk about Jesus?
myinnerbanjo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When "Thanks!" is used as a signature line in an email. Yeah, dude, feel real appreciated with your out-of-context message.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sweetheart, if you have to tell me that you're "different from most girls," you most definitely are not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What is a phrase that makes you instantly dislike someone strongly"
azn4lyfe000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Donald Trump will save USA from corruption"
Auxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any SJW bullshit.
shadowsgrimm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just the word hella. Or if they only post abouy religion on facebook.
daak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Please advise."
Usually the person writing this just hasn't taken the time to figure out what they actually want to ask, and it takes a number of follow-ups to figure that out.
Johannason ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Only a theory".
Or, "that's just your opinion" when dealing with facts.
codyy5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being gay is a choice.
ChaoticElephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a phrase, but a word: "Guesstimate"
Spiritfourlife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being gay is a choice
SilverSpurz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black lives matter
jibbit12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No public restrooms
lucadeaux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"epic fail"
Cringe inducing
amc47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm entitled to...." Really using that phrase in any capacity except for a legal one is just a huge piss off to me.
brandon684 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a bit late to the party but, "Like, literally..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying more complicated words in place of simple words, like "comical" instead of "funny." No one thinks you're smarter.
Also, people who say "and I's" instead of "and my." As in, "That's Brian and I's car" instead of "That's Brian's and my car." "I's" is not a motherfucking word.
AbiNormL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yo, Ma!"
jimchm15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This isn't my first rodeo"
Okay hotshot. I immediately wish for that person to trip and fall.
TheCtrlAltLlama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's got a bit of a bite to it", when referring to something hot (spicy). I just hate that phrase and I have no clue why.
rubyred138 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
whatever's clever. ughhhhhhh i hate that!!!
Rosetown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably very late to the game but this one always kills me.
Older person ordering drinks with a younger person and the waiter asks for the younger persons ID. Older person asks "How come you didn't ask for my ID - Teheheheheh"
Because your 72, damnit.
TheFruitPunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You magnificent bastard
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Living the dream"
"Another day in paradise"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haters gonna hate.
Automatically being categorized as a hater for disliking something or someone
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asking if something is 'actually' Is it actually? Are we actually? Do they actually?
Natten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'If you think about it"
bleachqueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't even"
"What is ____ even" or "What even is ____"
Pretty much using "even" in any phrase pisses me the fuck off.
thinkr013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...Wow, this really blew up!"
wolfzephyr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Iron Maiden isn't metal. I consider it classic rock.
PapaFern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Same paki, different haircut"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know"
MrTyranosauruSEX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Heil Hitler"
PM_MeYourBBW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I've never gotten gold before!"
bonwaller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I wanna be a Disney princess" - any girl over 18
icemixxy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I know there were dinosaurs and I accept the theory of evolution and stuff, but I can't believe we are descendents of apes. We must have been created."
nuclearfuture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't have arthritis you're so young!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little late to the party, but every time an elderly person says "kids are brainwashed these days" my blood fucking boils.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, but...." So it's no yes, it's fucking "no".
or
"We've always been doing it like this." Like this is a fucking reason, if it was we'll still be living in caverns.
Orang3luv3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Why do I need to show my id?"
I work as a bank teller and if you don't have your atm card I need to verify you. A lot of people ask why and get upset. I'm sorry let me give your money to some random strange!
mjselvig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
af
cma14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I'm not racist but...'
J1ffyLub3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"swerve"
Pleego7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My bad
AussieCommie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Jet fuel can't melt steal beams"
SpenserSchwalm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my God"
DJ_Skryblz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me : Where did you get that?
Dumbass : Ordered it offline from Amazon.
No you didn't, you were ONLINE. So many people do this. They then argue since they received the item offline they are right. Just idiotic.
poltergoose420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" well I.should hope so" .
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
idk im 12
basicwhitesauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's to die for" when referencing how good food is. No it's not that good.
oogapalooza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bit late but "I can't cook to save my life hahahahaha".
Slow claps
scarcrow359 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wanderlust"
TararaBoomdea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"not for nothing"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything to do with the president and gas prices. Positive or negative.
Typically, that's the beginning of some political diatribe that I want no part of because a sentence like that indicates that the speaker has no idea what the fuck they're talking about, and it's only going to get worse from there.
mm825 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:09 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Techies (I live in the bay area)
sopascabron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:52 on September 10, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is
RECOVERING101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:17 on September 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's take that offline. They never do. It's just a way to tell you STFU.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:23 on September 29, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cool beans"
imdftoned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:23 on October 3, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Living the dream." Youre better than that dude. Military folks can relate.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:04 on October 4, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I`m not racist, BUT..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:28 on October 10, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
Shobby101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:39 on October 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I just can't get enough of those yellow whacky Tic-Tacs'
nothingnessandbeing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:40 on October 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Says controversial opinion and backs it up with the statement:
"Look it's just my opinion!"
TazzzTM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:37 on November 8, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I was on Reddit, and..."
rgoh101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:07 on November 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I have a boyfriend'
sixthmagnitude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:13 on December 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The use of XD
acpjokerzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:56 on December 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hella
RJohn12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:27 on January 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm voting for trump
androiderror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:53 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is chemical free and natural!!!'
ssbowa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:08 on January 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not trying to be racist but...
Last_GirlScout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:26:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
considering she was a woman.....
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 23:55:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All lives matter!"
"Facts/statistics aren't racist"
Any usage of the word SJW
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:05:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please explain how facts and statistics in and of themselves are racist. If anything I'd argue that they're the key to understanding social and economic issues plaguing society, solving those problems, and tracking our progress towards solving them. I get being able to interpret or present them in a racist way, but that's not what you said you dislike.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find the best way to fix a problem is to ignore that there is one so we can actually address it, is what that kind of mindset says to me. I think people look at a stat like minorities committing more crime and think it's tantamount to saying they're bad. We need to look at these numbers and ascertain what are the contributing factors.
Aaera ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:58:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you trying to say that you think only the lives of one race matter, or matter more?
Or that facts ARE racist?
SJWs call themselves SJWs, do you hate your own kind? Nothing wrong with speaking the truth or titling something as they truly are.
minuq ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:16:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was a nice explanation a few days/weeks ago why #allLivesMatter is a bad response to #BlackLivesMatter. I'm on mobile so i can't link, but the tl;dr was an implied "too". Go find and read it, even though the general SJW rethoric is mostly bullshit, this one's legit
TheOmnipotentTruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OK, please explain how facts and statistics are racist?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:58:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're not, but the people who Twist them to fit their pathetic agenda are racist degenerates.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:12 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's racist
HellfireAgnostic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's being said sarcastically.
Kogo_Shuko ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 15:25:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I want to vote for Hillary Clinton"
Kogo_Shuko ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:03:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awww, all of Hilary's supporters downvoted me.. all 8 of them.
Arch_itect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When delivering food to the wrong table for some reason:
"Did you order the meat feast pizza?",
"No, but you can leave it here wink wink hahahahahah",
SO ORIGINAL YOU'RE SO FUNNY THATS NEVER BEEN SAID BEFORE YOU CAN DEFINITELY HAVE THE FOOD SOMONE ELSE HAS PAYED FOR HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAno.
chafedinksmut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The [insert preferred "holy" book here] says that [indisputable fact about nature upon which technology I'm currently using is based] is a lie.
That's because your religion is a myth, dumbass.
Notice here how religious bigots respond with fedora, edgy, neckbeard, basement-dweller, other similar nonsense or just silent, hate-filled downvotes rather than try to defend their (stupid) ideas below:
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Video games are a waste of time"
No more than sports are, hypocrite.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any statement that suggests that I and everybody around them subscribes to religion.
If we're having a nice hearty conversation, don't you fucking dare explain something away using god. I'll be obligated to tell you that that simply can't be the case because there is no god. Then you'll shit yourself because oh my god how can somebody not believe in his glory?! Because religion is for asshats, that's how.
con77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blacklivesmatter. Theyre just childish hypocrites. A black guy is 100x more likely to be killed by another black guy than by a cop.
Vanish_7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't give blowjobs."
Lakeshow95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:21 on August 28, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hella" e.g. "That ride was hella fun". fuck those people.
KineticDream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yelling "Kobe!" every time they make a shot at anything.
Warpato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I yelled "Kobe!" As I took this shot at you
Noneerror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't want my tax dollars paying for _____"
Then move. Taxes are a package deal.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:11:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or support a politician that agrees with you on tax issues.
One phrase that makes me dislike someone is responding with "get out" or "just move then" when met with disagreement.
Andy1_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase that uses ghetto slang, from any ethnic demographic. You sound like clowns, and I automatically assume you're incompetent and a failure.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses phrases like "white/male privilege", "cishet", "male tears". and believes what they're saying.
mtnorcia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any take on "I don't watch TV."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when it turns out they watch loads of shows, just on the internet, which they think doesn't count somehow.
foot_kisser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't count if they don't watch it on a TV.
jaybeau1979 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:32:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's usually, "I don't even OWN a television." Which nowadays is like saying, "I don't even READ books." These snobs think watching Breaking Bad is equal to watching Celebrity Game Night. Fuck these people.
alexisandro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Literally" followed by something not meant to be taken literally.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I literally shat my pants from crying so hard because of laughing at this comment.
axearm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Guess what, YOU are an average person. We all are when lumped together. You are about average for looks, intelligence, kindness, rudeness, skill at driving, etc. If you generalize about average people (of which you are one) you should include yourself.
Oh yeah? Sometimes I do know.
Yeah, like the rule that there is an exception to every rule?
I'm coming to the conclusion I dislike people for saying things.
the_goodest_intp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"At the end of the day..."
Ignore the important details of how I reached my conclusion and the future consequences of my actions. The end result is all that matters.
I've been listening to a lot of political discussion recently.
Stonehhse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
TBE_0027 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Videogames make people violent"
GeorgBartels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Allahu akbar!"
ialready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when people say "You do realize that [so and so are so and so],.....right?".
Too condescending and douchey for me.
SilentWeaponQuietWar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"ITT"
AKACombustionMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Intent to touch, homey
SilentWeaponQuietWar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll allow it.
monkeyleavings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is."
No, what it is is a lack of vocabulary.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Triggered.
stacy22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sentence that ends with the word bro
Powbob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason. "
soybooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a cat person
AKACombustionMan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:25:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a batman
UpgrayeDDoubleDose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, 'technically' blah blah blah is blah blah blah.
Those people are the worst.
skreed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Donald Trump.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
AKACombustionMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That saying means there are no limitations, actually. You can probably guess it came into being before 1961.
NerfDragonhawks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ya'll
neanderballer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any person accepting an award that begins with "First, I just want to thank God..."
Throckmorton_Left ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a [insert oppressed group with which speaker self-identifies] . . ."
pmmoritz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's up kids?"
Even though they are 5 years younger than me and I am no longer a child
ceyzilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not necessarily a phrase, but when someone shortens words like:
Fabulous > fab
Obviously > obvi
Vomit > vom
Totally > totes
UGH. GTFO.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:25:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate the word "totes".
iamtawsif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
keep slayin boi
therefore4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I heard on Fox News ...."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a devout Christian. We don't believe in gay marriage. Please respect my belief."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much if they say anything minion related I hate them permanently
JoePragmatist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No homo.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
".... Bla bla PATRIARCHY.."
-stops reading-
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
precisely and if you throw stuff at cops you might get arrested.
zombiedicktypewriter ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:16:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks I was definitely expecting a hateful reply.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:18:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure you will get some or many downvotes because being politically correct is more important to people nowadays than being actually correct and backing it up with stats/facts.
FuzzyCheddar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that starts with the word "irregardless."
Woodfella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't you know that when you ASSUME you make an ASS out of U and ME?"
Pelican8456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Weak sauce" or "cool beans"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Goonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong. If you eat less your body goes into fat storage mode because it's unsure when the next meal is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bae, on fleek, yolo, etc
like nails on a chalkboard
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best"
Generally this is said by someone who is fucking crazy and refuses to acknowledge that maybe they're the problem. I avoid these kinds of people at all costs. The victim mentality is just something I'm not willing to put up with.
doinstuf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Lawd take the wheel" "I'm just gonna put it in God's hands" or "god has a plan for me"
Ya god does have a plan for you, it involves creating a species than letting it grow and develop on its own, he isn't going to pay your utility bill you dumb broad.
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone on facebook lists their education as "The School of Hard Knocks". Give me a fucking break. You're basically trying to excuse your failure based on you having a hard life, as if no one else has had a hard life.
Selitae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We're pregnant"
No, you are pregnant, your husband is not. If you want to make him feel included, what's wrong with "we're expecting" or something similar?
drumsdeadlifts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All lives matter"
christ_from_tacobell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: The weekly 16-year-old's who still assimilate with people they don't like.
seasond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*associate with
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"I don't smoke weed."
So... What do you do while you're hanging out? Do you just sit there?"
Edit:I wasn't really clear about what I meant
Qawded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
Sorry but if you have to reassure us that you're not racist, you probably are. Same rule applies for most things, eg. I'm not homophobic, but...
A beautiful example that I've heard too many times:
"Don't get me wrong, I'm not homophobic but it just grosses me out when I see two boys/girls kiss. Like be gay I don't care, but you don't have to put it in my face like that."
samii1031 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just being honest"
No you are a judgmental asshole that lacks empathy and thinks they know everything
BestmobaNa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check your privelage. My skin crawls every time I hear someone say that.
gerkjerk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"women need more rights"
LethalWeapon10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mansplaining, patriarchy, manspreading, rape culture, triggered, etc.
Basically anything that shows they're going to call everything they disagree with misogyny.
BlueEyedNinetails ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pray for you" etc.
Soldier4Christ82 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, nothing worse than knowing that there are people who genuinely care about you.
bigfinnrider ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:18:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The "I'll pray for you" crowd are some of the most insincere people I've ever encountered. People who settle down and pray for a bunch of people feel like they've done their good deeds for the day so they can be selfish, petty, useless jerks after that.
TheDodd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!"
Or literally just the use of "SHEEPLE" in any way. I immediately write you off.
ENrgStar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I heard on Fox News..."
Raymen_Noodles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a console gamer."
Spacedflipper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spotted the brother!
theblondehippie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not to sound racist, but [insert something racist]".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Being kicked in the balls is way worse than giving birth."
iamalazyprofessor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am such a nerd!"
ExplosiveTurkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What church do you go to?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm socially liberal, fiscally conservative"
Doubleyoupee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you God for this miracle.
Soullessone21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a Christian" always said after or while doing something racist, homophobic or down right wrong. "Sure I burned down that black gay couples house but I'm a Christian" haha instantly walk away just walk away haha
has1321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, I hate everybody equally!"
Itsagasket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1) The use of "Jew" as a verb. We need not talk anymore.
2) "I'm the type of person who..." Just say what it it you do, think, say, or believe. Assuming membership to an imagined group does not grant you carte blanche to act inappropriately or the defense that anyone who would call you on your shit is profiling or discriminating against your supposed ilk.
xxkoloblicinxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fox news says...."
"Bill O'Reilly says..."
"In Rush Limbaugh's book he says..."
Causes me to believe that person is so illogical they would believe pigs fly if a Republican told them so.
Witty_Allusion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:40 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..."
SoufCarolina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women saying they only hang out with guys because girls are drama. Had many a girl say it and throw me off.
ScaryClosetMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Im exercising my religious right." Uh no your discriminating idiot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"sad panda"
Th3Ph1l0s0ph3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't vaccinate my kids"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome-sauce. Go fuck yourself.
Hypoallergenic_Robot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist/sexist/homophobic/any other oppressive or hateful type of person, but" You can be sure the next thing they say is indeed incredibly racist/sexist/homophobic/any other type of oppression or hate
NotSoFinalFantasy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything beginning with the lines of: "I'm not (insert racist/homophobic, etc.) but..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heritage not hate
Slazman999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right in the feels
Jmrwacko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All lives matter"
zzzz
Brokedbone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We need Donald Trump in the White House. He really says it like it is. No bullshit."
rifts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The bible says..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a feminist..."
doublesmokedsaline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cool beans" drives me insane........INSANE!
normanslittlepinky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always makes me think of TJ Miller! I hate that statement!!!
SpeesIndonees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..." No, shut up.
jdub_06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as a feminist: ...
CADdicted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't like black people"
As a black man, I'm not sure how to deal with these people
kcgnarly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who refers to high prices as "rape". I instantly lose respect for that person.
idkdskwyii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:14 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Old white male"
AreThree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Jesus loves you." or "I will pray for you."
The first makes my skin crawl because you are speaking for someone else who allegedly has supernatural powers and is your personal religious icon.
The second just makes me mad because it is a condescending remark hiding a judgment (like a brick wrapped in a fleece blanket). If I didn't ask you to pray for me, don't. It seems analogous to telling a vegetarian that "I'll sacrifice a goat for you." If you are just wishing me well, then just say that plainly without bringing your religion to it.
The third one, "The Lord told me to _____", really makes me wonder about the sanity of the speaker. If you're hearing voices, I'm not the one you should be talking to, but rather a mental health professional. Same goes if you're seeing visions or holding conversations with flaming shrubberies. Go ahead and give yourself some credit for being the one who changed paths rather than chalking it up to a deity.
Bigstar976 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so voting for Trump!"
sexuallydebiant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:01 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"gunz r bad"
Bigstar976 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:20 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Homosexuality is a choice."
LBCvalenz562 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a feminist"
For FUCKS sake here we go...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's gay" ...
Methylamine_Junkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:08 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm friends with boys because there's less drama"
snorkel42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to America, now speak English.
Speak Cherokee, you dick.
kinjinsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Indians migrated here across the land bridge from Asia. It's just a question of when your people emigrated here.
The language of the United States is English. If you want to live here you should learn the language rather than demand that people accommodate you.
My parents are immigrants. They learned English. If I were to move to, say France then I would take it as a given that I would need to learn French as they speak French there.
This is the USA, we speak English here. Expect to learn it if you wish to move here. This should be common sense.
snorkel42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't disagree that if you are living in a country then you should try to learn the language, and not expect others to accommodate your native tongue. This is obvious. I know many immigrants and H1Bs who have varying grasps of English. The fact of the matter is that it is a difficult language to learn and what they need is a bit of compassion and understanding while they work on improving themselves. What they don't need is some jackass redneck making asinine comments about their language barrier as if their current poor grasp of the English language is some sort of choice they have made in order to both make their own daily lives quite difficult while at the same time pissing off others.
It is a rude, hostile, and stupid thing to say and when I hear someone say it or (more often) see it on a bumper sticker, I immediately dislike the person.
kinjinsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough.
I was referring more to demands for bilingual accommodations.
I feel strongly that a common language is the glue that holds a nation together. Look at Canada. It's one happy country and Quebec.
Canadeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Hi, I'm a scientologist!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't care about politics.."
YOU BETTER CARE, PEOPLE ARE CHANGING OUR FUTURE EVERY DAY! ๐
SpooledRotten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irregardless
KoldProduct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No vagina, no opinion!"
thorhyphenaxe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No homo"
giantsomething ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I or we didn't want to say anything, but...
Well don't say it then!
AlCapwned69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Tfti" or thanks for the invite
trageikeman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When I studied abroad..."
sarautu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"to be honest with you..."
LibraryDiva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less."
Really? Go ahead, then.
BelleHades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Girl: "Size does not matter."
Girl: *Only goes for guys with penises longer than 7"*
Like seriously, if you say size does not matter, then it obviously matters to you.
UnCivilizedEngineer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyways.
Anyway you say the word, the only proper way is anyway.
snakeskinny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"These are soooooo addicting"
Addictive
It's addictive.
mycrazydream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The universe is only 6000 years old. I have a brother who is a biology teacher and..." I want to destroy you so much right now. Twist: he is my boss.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Gay people shouldn't be able to get married"
phiony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're a racist" Yes, yes I am. Now what?
mindscrambler26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ORDER you to feel ashamed!!! (looks at you sternly)
hugaw1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
blacklivesmatter by an extremist. no offence but every life matter.
bootely ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No problem." - For example, when you ask for some ketchup for your fries and the waiter says, "No problem." Yeah it better not be a fucking problem.
white_larry_bird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know, right?
Hayb0ss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you believe in equality, then you are a feminist"
internally screaming
DrNolanAllen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What the actual fuck" and "This." Or "So much this."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Strawman. Any shnook who took a college Logic class suddenly thinks they're Spock. Then misuse "strawman" to avoid counterpoints and hyperbole.
Any modern feminist rhetoric. Triggered, oligarchy, patriarchy, cis,
"Murica" and anti gun rhetoric spewed by eurotrash with inferiority complexes.
will_wolfy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...Amen"
GOU_NoMoreMrNiceGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anything non ironic using the words:
or any of the hundreds of other imbecile buzzwords in that family.
motherfuckers this fucking sensitive have no evolutionary business existing in the real world. it's a wonder that a mild breeze doesn't just wipe them all from the face of the earth and spare us from their shrill, imbecile, irrational, hypocritical ravings.
boywonder5691 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i would add "gender normative" to that list
GOU_NoMoreMrNiceGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh god yes.
KrunkyMunky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black lives matter.
pawnsplat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm socially liberal but fiscally conservative"
chicagorunner10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh... very strange that you'd have some kind of problem with that statement. It describes the sentiment of a LOT of people; it more or less falls in-line with what's considered a libertarian.
pawnsplat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't feel that its libertarian at all. Imo, it's a chicken-shit way to describe yourself in the most conformist way possible. It tells me absolutely nothing about someone.
chicagorunner10 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:17:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hmm, ok. If you can make some kind of intelligent reasoning why that statement is cause to instantly dislike someone, or why it isn't a good description of a libertarian, other than to call it "chicken-shit", I'd be curious to hear it.
pawnsplat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Being socially liberal would mean supporting universal health care, education, poverty reduction, etc. Fiscally conservative means you don't want to spend the money on those services. I understand their is a balance, and that they are not mutually exclusive, but that's not what most people mean with the statement. The usually mean letting the gays marry and balancing the budget.
WK373 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:06:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So because I believe in Gay marriage, but not bankrupting the country im a conformist? I think you are talking out of your ass.
generand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not rude. I'm brutally honest.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bernie for president
mrnagrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alternately "feel the bern". Is it a presidential campaign or an std?
spartachri5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any kind of gross over generalization. "Well that's men for ya." "This generation has it so easy." "People with kids are selfish narcissists."
Ferttttt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who uses "Not gonna lie" way too often. Why would you lie to me?
Also a nasally "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaas"
coo_man_coo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Homeless people are homeless because they want to be"
-_-
Gaminguitarist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must be surrounded by conservatives.
coo_man_coo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am deep in the heart of Texas in a super old small town. So yeah I guess XD
ProfessionalRedneck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't need to own a truck." Oh yes, let me go load 2,000 lbs of concrete IN MY FUCKING PRIUS.
kipgordon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really anything about being offended. Get over it, some people have different views than you. Some are horrible, some are wrong, some are just weird. But really, grow some thicker skin and move on. Live your life instead of getting mad about some shit some guy said. Who cares what they said? Quit making their words so important and monumental.
I just can't imagine my grandfather getting his undies in a twist cause somebody said something he didn't like or that made him uncomfortable. He had better shit to do like run a business, provide for his family, and generally be a badass motherfucker.
Arlavin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who say that mental illness is all in a persons head and that they are actually fine and to just get over it.
chupacabruhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fuck the cops"
JaredLetoMadeMeDoIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I was friend zoned!"
"Bitches be cray"
"Im a nice guy, but I always get left till last because girls like bad guys!"
"People who go back to abusive partners deserve what they get"
"I specifically paid extra to choose my seats with legroom, but these seats are narrow!!!"
artformarket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in school... to be a cosmetologist.
MavNasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im pro-life"
ManiPadmeHum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people get mildly frustrated with something and say, "Ughh, I'm gonna kill myself!"
I lost my father to suicide at the age of seven, and due to that I have PTSD. My stomach just drops and I feel sick every time I hear it.
Manacock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I thank God for..."
FUCK YOU.
YOU worked hard. YOU practiced hard. YOU accomplished. Nobody floated down from the clouds and zapped you with a magic wand.
FUCK YOU.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist/homophobic but ..." I'm sorry, that is not going to excuse what kind of fucked up backward thing you are about to say. God it frustrates me!
LeLoupDeWallStreet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Awkward...."
When nothing was fucking awkward. But it is now. Thanks, dick.
soothslayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Racism is learned." No. Tolerance is learned. Children are racists. They need to be actively taught to appreciate people who are different from them.
Suthen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We don't vax, we just don't believe in it!
Awe your son has autism, what vaccinations did he have?
All of them, fucktards now take your whooping cough somewhere else.
Blacktagar_Boltagon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no sympathy for the rich.
triit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black Lives Matter.
ghotierman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege" Fuck you. Hard.
Macchonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOLO
Northus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about ironically? I say yolo och yo all the time, but not exactly seriously.
by3times1minus1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ, our lord and savior?
HIGHsonburg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What has the world come to"
Lockon007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who claim that doing illegal things is okay because they're common. Like underage drinking. I don't care if you do it, I did it. But don't you dare go around acting like you didnt just break the law.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I voted for Obama"
Infamaniac23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Music was so much better back in the day."
"Kanye West has no talent."
rockdash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I guess I'm sorry we can't be friends? Not sorry I won't have to listen to Kanye West though.
Infamaniac23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok to not like Kanye West. You can like and dislike whatever you like but saying he has no talent is just straight up wrong.
MissAnthropy1982 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:07:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't have any talent though.
Infamaniac23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Producing, writing, rapping
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Beansmild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always understood it to be the military definition of watch, as in, when you are assigned to guard or watch over something, not a wrist watch.
quitofilms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black people commit more crimes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On fleek" - It's just stupid.
"I can't even" - Bad for my blood pressure.
"Cent" when the correct usage is "cents" - It takes all of my will power to avoid correcting this.
"That's ill" when used to mean cool - It's just douchy.
"Like, oh my God" - shutup.
"Fuck my life" - Stop being an ungrateful cunt.
"Everything happens for a reason" - deal with reality already.
PM_me_please_or_not ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Have a blessed day!"
After a pleasant conversation...you just had to fuck it up.
Mislyrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever
BARubberDucky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Super late and probably already said, the phrase "new and improved". If it's new, it's not improved and if it's improved, it's not new.
TruthSpeaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How are you?
Why the fuck do you want to know? What's it to you anyway? Do you even fucking care? If I'm unwell, can you fucking do anything about it? No you can't.
You haven't been to medical college for six years, you're not a fucking doctor, so quit asking me how I am?
awesome357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist, but (insert racist comment here).
Jamesbuc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not Racist/Sexist/Homophobic/being funny/whatever but...."
ANYTHING after that is always going to be wrong in at least one way or another and all you want to do is just go 'SHHHH. NO'
TheRealGodzilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate science because they update their books every year." No, just no.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a Republican"
WezzyFhatley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People that say they "beat" cancer. You didn't "beat" cancer. You were lucky enough to not succumb to cancer. There's people that do the exact same treatment (if not more) than these "survivors" that die daily. It's just good/bad luck. That's all it comes down to.
RailfanAZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll forgive but I won't forget." Um, that means that you're not really forgiving them, grudge-holding bitch.
boose22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol at all the misogyny in here.
ThaneOfMordor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just banter!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I Vape
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm from New York."
Mensabender ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:55:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We aren't all assholes, honestly. We just hate tourists.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:35 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am speaking from the perspective of someone living abroad, and who travels a LOT. Most of these New Yorkers are tourists or expats. I get their name first, then that line second... It has really begun to dig into my soul... But I love most of you guys!
Fartdickfaggot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I like animals more than people"
jason_stanfield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Did you see in the news that ..."
No. I don't care, and I don't want you practicing your angry political, social, or religious rabble on me.
darkbob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lack of manors. Especially important when they think either : 1. The person they're dealing with is unimportant (e.g. service staff) 2. They think no-one is watching.
Mensabender ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:54:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So people have to have a luxurious house, a manor, in order to be liked by you? Those aren't very good manners.
darkbob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:00 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only respect old money ...
Mensabender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:20 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Mensabender ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:53:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about "I am a democratic socialist"
MrTomuxs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's offensive"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All white people are racist."
jamietd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people start a sentence saying" I'm not being funny but.. "
sweetmercy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything happens for a reason."
Kree18Madness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Couldn't of said it better myself"
See that on FB every time some half wits are bickering about something.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:23:51 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That annoys me too, but that's because it's "Couldn't have"
MrFeltberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's easy to get a (good) job."
Dathoopdoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is"
Always seems to be used as a cop out in the conversation. Sure, it is what it is currently. However, what it is doesn't have to remain the same so stop using that phrase like it is the final word.
Cioger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Edit: Keep the downvotes coming!"
Piss off buddy. It's like you're proud of being an asshole.
rennaps4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe, jeussssssst maybe".... Fuck off.
Freevoulous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"that's so fetch!"
Mensabender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The moon landing was faked"
knurttbuttlet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:14 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever happened to ladies first?
Seriously, get the fuck over yourself
PvM_Valiant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:06 on August 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." No fuck you. You're not a prize, you're a bitch.
indycysive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:29 on August 23, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:34 on August 28, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
''My body, my life.''
En0ch_Root ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 16:00:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I voted for Obama both times.
johndoe60610 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think most people were voting AGAINST Romney/Ryan this last time.
BigLurker321 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:03:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hands up, don't shoot" "No Justice, no peace" "Black Lives Matter"
Basically when you've turned your backs on the police who are trying to better society and are making a Martyr out of some stupid thug who stole cigars and roughed up the elderly store owner, then I dislike you immensely.
Everyone, every person, every group like to get the persecution complex. They have the biggest cross to bear, they are the most hated, blah blah blah. Get over it, grow the fuck up and realize the world doesn't owe you shit.
autmnleighhh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:27:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That movement isn't about anyone owning anyone else (well maybe the looters have that mentality). That movement is about police brutality. If you think all cops are out to help you, I wish I lived in your reality. There are a lot of great wonderful cops who truly stand up for what's right, but the are also a lot of corrupt cops. Police brutality, and not just against minorities either, has gotten out of hand in the U.S.
[deleted] ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 14:48:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I believe in god."
604kevin ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:14:21 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a very narrow minded stance
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:45:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you don't like anyone who is religious?
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 15:46:47 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep.
lolwtfomgbbq7 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:49:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound so decent and thoughtful
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:54:36 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, some of them are quite nice
Aaera ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And all of them are quite foolish or ignorant.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:44:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So are people that generalize everyone in a certin group of people.
Aaera ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:39:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a generalization as you'd think it as.
If somebody is religious, or presenting themselves as religious, they are either in it for profit and know better than to fall for it, or they are uneducated/unintelligent; in other words, simple words: dumb.
To willingly believe in the irrational and incorrect is simply dumb.
bobjoeharris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a fedora nearby?
Aaera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, but it's almost amusing that you're attempting to evade reality by trying to label it as cringe to protect yourself. Try actually opposing it if you think it's not true.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:01:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly it seems as if you didn't get my point. I'm not trying to debate the fact that those people are foolish and/or ignorant. I'm pointing out your flaw that you are an intolerant, arrogant and judgmental person.
Aaera ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:16:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Intolerant of stupidity, I certainly am, though not arrogant or unjustly judgmental; simply reasonable and honest. I don't mask the truth to avoid offending people with it. If the truth offends people, that's something they need to fix.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:11:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you need to get your head out of your ass and take a second look your views on people.
By the way I'm not religious and I still think you sound like a self centered ass. Open your mind a little and see people for who they are not what you think they should be like. Though I can tell you'll refuse to due to your beliefs. Just like those people you talk about won't change their strong beliefs even in the face of overwhelming evidence. People like you call some religious people extremists for their beliefs but I think if you take a look at your feelings on this you'll notice your not far removed from that sort of idealism. By that idealism I mean thinking like "if you don't believe in what I do then your wrong. No matter what evidence you have on the contrary."
Aaera ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:26:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No metaphorical heads in any metaphorical asses on my end.
Cold hard truth is often perceived as pomposity, conceitedness, or arrogance, but that's just not correct. Easier for people to pull a good old-fashioned ad hominem out of their pockets than face the subject itself.
As for beliefs, I carry none myself. I have hypotheses where confirmation is lacking, and my conclusions purely follow logic/reason/rationality. No opinions of beliefs. If a statement/hypothesis of mine is shown to be incorrect, I repeal and correct it, but this is very rare.
Nothing that I say has any source in emotion either, just to clarify.
As you have not attempted to actually refute what I have said, I expect you will not be trying to after this reply, so this will be fruitless. I don't mind replying though.
Religious people are uneducated, unintelligent, and often have low mental capacities. Their belief is very wrong, self-contraditory, absurd, and thoroughly disproven in many different ways. When I learn that a person is religious, I acknowledge their intellectual status correctly. I do not make a mockery of them to their face, as there is no reason to. I only acknowledge what is.
a_fridge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Be careful not to cut yourself on that edge.
calmcucumber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:06 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ask which one?
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 15:19:03 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's a spaghetti monster, I don't really care which one.
calmcucumber ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't either, but I wanna make sure they know I'm on to them. If they push their beliefs on me I push mine on them and it just becomes a cluster fuck of ridiculous made up ideologies.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
EvilJackCarver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So the people who think they're a valley girl despite not being anywhere within a thousand miles of the San Fernando Valley?
TheKryce ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Man of Steel sucked"
Purloinedshadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:15 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man of steel sucked
guava_dog ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 22:33:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a liberal
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people are downvoting you but at least you honestly answered the question. kudos.
guava_dog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:36:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honesty is the best policy
Roadguy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:09:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black Lives Matter
piccolosmom ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:19:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Guestimation." Fuck off.
TMJr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:48 on November 29, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about guestimate?
BryanThePoet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:35:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Marijuana is bad for you
iconoclastman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:44:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have your excepted Jesus as your personal savior
dontaxmebro ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:17:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You smoke weed?
turkey_twat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:50:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" I voted for Obama"
supah_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:06:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when someone drops the n-word and/or the c-word like it's so normal. seriously - go away. i already know you don't respect women or people who aren't like you. i can't pre judge totally. i leave a door open for the sake of politeness and being understanding - but it's likely - we probably aren't going to get along.
fejferret ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:23:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a grown-ass woman"
erenaValentine ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:08:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The only good snake is a dead snake"
jessexpress ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:25:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Unironically using the term 'SJW'.
Equalyser ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 14:59:45 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Black lives matter!"
SavannahWinslow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But the loss of the life of a criminal, regardless of race, is not a loss, it's a gain for society. No sympathy for dead criminals.
redpandaonesie ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All lives matter
waters-tester ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'All lives matter' needn't intentionally or unintentionally take away from 'black lives matter'. They can coexist and reinforce one another.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:13:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a phrase, it's a statement. And what?
Jwegr17 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:46:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I swear this post comes around once a month, and all the answers are the same...
madkungfu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:48:55 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Irregardless..."
noiro777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't not agree with you !
Rearranger_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:09:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking in a stereotypical metro voice.
Calling me buddy. We're not that close.
The dutch.
SweetToes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:23:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"LOL"
-_-
chineseinamerica ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:54:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when people respond with "Interesting." or " That's very interesting."
jukebocks622 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:56:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Preconceived notions"
In my experience, it usually means somebody is about to disguise a racist comment somehow.
KookieBaron ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:04:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just have so much on my plate right now...
bigfinnrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You obviously don't hang out at a lot of smorgasbords.
KookieBaron ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:49:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pile that shit on there.
DonQuixote112688 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:15:49 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I am religious"
"You should be happy, other people have it worse than you"
"No you can't put it in my ass"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DonQuixote112688 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:15:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Religion is nonsense and inherently divisive. The ass thing was half a joke.
mike_the_man ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:37:09 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Anywho" In conversation...I went down to the store...anywho, whats been happening with you? that word screams hillbilly to me and every time I hear it I just stop listening.
Callyopi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I frequently say anywhoozzle when I get off topic and am trying to get back on point. I don't know when I started doing it, but now I can't stop. It's figuratively killing me.
panda_milk_rat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:52:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just saying..."
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:02:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"smh"
"otp"
"bae"
datsusara ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:08:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry I'm not sorry" or "I'm hangry"
Baba_OReilly ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:10:28 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"... and what not."
RedTiLiMDead ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:22:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not a phrase, but, "what's your sign"?
freeballin00 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:23:30 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not like most girls, when they're literally exactly like every girl.
vonillabean ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:53:44 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
UncleMadness ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:18:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Why don't they just..." anything that comes after is usually just an example of a lack of understanding, empathy and/or comprehension by the speaker. Instant dislike.
Sensual-Bacon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:27:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when someone uses the word: Bae In Danish it means poop, so anytime I hear someone say it or read it, I just think they are calling someone poop.
surfer_rosa ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:39:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SJW
Musaab ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:53:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't want to see me angry. I'm the wrong one."
Oh, fuck off.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:16:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down it's just a game
atomguerra ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:20:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was just saying this to some of my friends, but if you post on instagram/facebook/write in a fucking photo album "Good times, with great people!" you are an unoriginal sack of shit
AOEUD ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:21:41 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Whilst". Fuck the British.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:23:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just saying"
star_nosed_mole_man ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:25:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Im 14 and i love this song"
No one cares how old you are, it doesn't make you special in any way, liking older or more obscure music and being a teenager.
worm2200 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:25:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obama has done such a great job.
JaySavvy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:28:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
". . . . Irregardless . . . "
Instantly judged for using "Irregardless" - REGARDLESS of the phrase it was used in.
hthomos ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gay.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:36:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know. My cat would sit on my lap and lick his own anus 24/7 if I would let him.
anonymousse79 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:59:56 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Let us pray..."
Could you fucking not?
CRU-60 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:07:35 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do any of you in this thread really believe that other people give a shit about your opinions?
demoneyesturbo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:44:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What I'm trying to say is..." and "long story short..." followed by them not getting to the point or continuing to tell the world longest story.
IGetThis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:54:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who pronounces Aunt like "Ant"
I don't hate or even really dislike those who do it... but stop. Stop it now.
al3cks ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:06:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"In my heart of hearts..." You have one heart and I'm not interested.
Queenkongers ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:14:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No offense" if you're going to offend me and think that saying that phrase before it is ok. you're wrong.
filthyluca ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:17:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So didn't i." It just plain pisses me off. Everyone in my high school used to say it and it would annoy me to no end. I'm no English major and it may make complete grammatical sense somehow (I really don't think it does though) but in my mind it just sounds so stupid.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:24:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know my name but you definitely don't know my story.... So cringey ughhh
IrishDesi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:34:43 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not to be racist, but. . ." And I'm done. I don't even need to hear your racist comment. Bye.
bowserboy7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:43:52 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
iconoclastman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:58:39 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can be healthy at any size
SubsonicQuasar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:00:19 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's Reddit?
Polkadot1017 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:01:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"His...um...partner..."
I hate this when people refer to gay/lesbian couples by saying "partner". It's fine if you actually call any couple that, but many people insist that they say "partner" for any couple, but they only do it for same-sex couples.
byniumhart ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:01:53 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Praise Jesus.
TheGreenSide ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:12:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When explaining to in-laws' friends that I'm an atheist: "That's too bad."
Like I'm a fucking Make-A-Wish child.
rogerramjet222 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:17:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Frisco.. Don't care if you live there.
Frisco is unacceptable
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:31:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'racist', 'privelege', 'intersectionality', 'queering', 'othering', 'cisgender', 'structural' (excepting its true usage in engineering and architecture), 'white' used as a slur, 'micro-aggression'
Leftists and I are simply better off going our separate ways, to be honest.
goldzatfig ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:36:11 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't hate me cause you ain't me" oh fuck off you pretentious pricks. I hate you because you're a douchebag! Not because I'm jealous.
iamnotreallyreal ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:46:27 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fuck my life!" Followed by the reason being a typical first world problem.
Klimskady ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:48:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not racist/homophobic/sexist*, BUT.....
The truth always appears after the but. People who use this are to be avoided.
*delete or alter as required.
BigBluntsMcBongford ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:50:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a guy that greeted me with "Yo yo yo b boi what's fo' real mothafucka" on his first day at work. He was a skinny white dude. Instantly hated him.
randomguy44556 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:56:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the invite. TFTI
It is not my duty to every event I go to, Sir or Madam. Please never talk to me again.
LukeTango ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:00:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using "Epic" when not referring to Lord of the Rings.
aca901 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:06:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just sayin'".... No, you're being an ass.
MaxTear ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:07:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't need to drink to have fun"
kmcooney136 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:07:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The random item is over there." Nope, it's not. "WHOOPS I lied, it's over here."
No, you didn't lie. Saying that means you intentionally gave me the wrong information. Just say you were fucking wrong- you'll survive.
hashishian ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:12:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anyone who calls me "mate" i want to punch in the face.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:13:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Welcome aboard" I hate this phrase so much. Please STOP!!!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:13:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I think socialism is a viable economic system."
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:13:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im not racist but...
Yes you are.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:13:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
JellyCream ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I killed Navi.
raydaysocray45 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:13:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend just started dating this guy named Alex. The first day I met him, he seemed pretty cool until he said "woah, that almost hit me in the dome". He's a douche. Nobody cool refers to their head as their "dome".
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:14:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone who has just turned 30 reflects back on the days they were 20 like it wasn't just last week. The same can apply to someone who just turned 20 and reflecting on their teens.
DanSkorne ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:14:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The thing about aspartamine is..." "The thing about vaccines is..." "The thing about child services is..."
Surprising how many imbeciles seem to think the entire world is out to get them...
HeBoughtALot ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:15:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Live, Laugh, Love"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:15:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Russia is a cool place"
drjoehumphrey ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:15:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate The Beatles!"
I don't care if somebody doesn't like The Beatles, but people who feel the need to declare their hatred of them (or, really, most things in pop culture) are usually assholes.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:15:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
insert any religious recruit statement here
MushiMushi-DesuDesu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:16:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since I don't see it anywhere...
"If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear."
I want to fucking suckerpunch the assclown that started that very sentence.
Bonus:
"YOUR RIGHTS END WHERE MY FEELINGS BEGIN."
Jesus tapdancing Christ on a pogo stick if that isn't special snowflake behavior I don't know what is.
tanlin2021 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:17:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but..." nothing good comes after that. Just don't say it.
irritabletom ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:17:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could care less." So...you do care?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually a dumb misinterpretation of "I couldn't care less".
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:17:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people start sentences with "so, basically...".
LankyDouche ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:17:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tryin to make a change :-\
Raencloud94 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:17:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Being gay is a choice." Yeah.. Cause we choose to get bullied and beat up and fired.. Etc.
Billskg ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:17:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says 'good for you' with a smile I want to Punch them really I feel that is so ironical
SpicySomalian ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:19:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can you not?" Well, yeah of course I COULD, but since your question was redundant I'm gonna keep doing what I was doing. "Will you not?" Sure, sorry about that.
sre01 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:19:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People over 25 who try to stay hip by using modern slang. Fuck you Doris, you're 45.
yoguy2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:21:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Pardon my French, butโฆ"
Racist and annoying. Just stop.
heldonhammer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:22:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like Donald Trump
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:22:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Anywho".
Fingerdrip ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:23:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll send him a note when I get back to the office."
No. You will send an email.
Arillious ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:23:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"... as fuck!"
unprdctbl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So if someone said "Man, this game is hard as fuck." You'd instantly dislike them?
Arillious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I don't instantly hate them forever, but in that moment I dislike them.
unprdctbl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:18 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a reason behind your hatred? I'm Pretty curious.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:26:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Is this a thing?" -every redditor
Daisy_W ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:27:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just for shits and giggles..."
pillbuggery ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:33:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't care what other people think of me."
Yes you do.
dualnature360 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:35:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What about black on black crime?"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:37:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, look. An SJW pretending it's one of the normal people. Don't you have a petition about the latest outrage to promote in SRS?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I was spot on. You DO have petitions to sign.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:48:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hubby, I find it degrading
overcloseness ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:50:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone uses 'lol' constantly when messaging I will instantly assume they couldn't possibly be older than 13 and I phase out instantly. If someone uses the word 'rekt', I will find you, and I will hurt you.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:52:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
jump-n-shoot-man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "I'm not your pal, friend."
2souless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're not Quakers.
jump-n-shoot-man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What?
2souless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"friend" is a quaker thing...it was a joke...
never mind...
jump-n-shoot-man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh... Okay...
Sorry I ruined your fun...
addysol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:56:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Sheeple"
Unfriended so many people from high school because they relentlessly share "GMO's are evil" articles
_Foraii_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:58:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Huehuehue"
Dreadsin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:02:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm an infj" I didn't know anything about this personality system before, but I have learned two things: Infjs are the only ones who seem to always have to state their type without anyone asking, and Infjs are usually intensely dislikable people. Sorry Infjs
Mad--Season ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:06:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Good mornin'"
sean_c_roberts ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:06:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I believe in God"
Ibrowsereddits ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:14:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hit the nail on the head" Bonus points if its followed by "OP"
TheShadowCat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:14:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So... You got any sisters?
cellardoor1988 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:14:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Last night, when I was watching Fox News..."
Blah. Blah. Vomit.
reave_fanedit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:21:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm gluten-free."
wasthereadogwithyou ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:22:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Science says that..." No, science is not an entity that speaks and makes friends with people.
arkitect ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:23:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How are you?" "I'm good! How about you?" "I'm well." "...aaaaaand you're a douche."
Mad4Josh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:23:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm gluten intolerant"
Godawful-Photoshop ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:25:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not fat, I'm curvy"
grossknuckles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:25:42 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"cool beans"
"bae"
"swag"
"vines are funny."
"neil degrasse tysone.. blah blah blah."
"steven colbert solved cancer.. blah blah blah."
Most people are sheep. That is what makes me dislike them.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:31:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says "i hate fake people" because more times than not, they're a hypocrite.
TemplarBean ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:32:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Check your privilege"
vonbrunk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:35:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When any dipshit says, "Dat [insert thing] tho!" on social media.
Automatic unfollow.
TheManAccount ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:50:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OMG I have such bad OCD I just need to organize <insert something unrelated to real OCD here>
flimsyfresh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:53:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is when people say 'OMG I'm such a Schizo!' in the context of a non-Schizophrenia related situation.
TightyWalterWhities ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:52:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No, stop it! That hurts!" Ugh those people.
TypoHero ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:52:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: Thanks for the gold buttchump36!
Edit: RIP my Inbox.
Ibcjlani ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:52:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever some idiot either says, "ya think?" or ends a statement with either " just sayin' " or "nuff said." Drives me freakin' nuts!
dirty_0 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:53:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could have told you that"
Well, where were you when i needed you? Not here? Useless piece.
ldskfj ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:54:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who use the R word
laserdiscmannen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:54:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Inga rasister pรฅ vรฅra gator" "Tolerans" "Ingen mรคnniska รคr illegal" "Vit krรคnkt man" "Islamofobi" "Alla mรคnniskor รคr lika mycket vรคrda"
jendinger87 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:54:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a specific phrase, but people who talk about the funny things they've said--
"And then I said (Insert somewhat funny thing here)!"
Get over yourself!!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:54:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that noise.
reddogg1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:55:39 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I got sooo drunk last night"
charliebrewsky ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:55:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FML. The rage I feel. Ughhh.
lookaboveyou ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:55:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Its my pet peeve" "I have this thing about ____"
My pet peeve is people having pet peeves
pyrates ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:55:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"haters gonna hate."
Phiction2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:57:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, I guess we agree to disagree"
Chippa74 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:58:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just fill everything"
I'm a retail pharmacist.
DITPiranha ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:01:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a Republican"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:01:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"This is offensive/problematic/insensitive."
Not everyone gives a shit about you and your feelings, so shut the fuck up.
sassafrass14 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:07:01 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Phrases with double negatives.
"I didn't eat nothing!", (when it should be: "I didn't do ANYthing" or "I did nothing")
"He didn't take no phone with him", ("He took no phone with him" or "He did not take a phone with him")
"They're not going nowhere." ("They're not going anywhere" or "They're going nowhere")
I find myself becoming so distracted when people do this.
69Fartman69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:07:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My wife won't let me..." I was talking to a friend about maybe trying to get in to PC gaming instead of using a console, games are cheaper, mods, etc. He says he can't because his wife doesn't enjoy PC games... so he can't. He had to buy another ps4, just so his wife (who stays at home, doesn't work) can play ps4 with him. I'm sitting there thinking "is this guy for real"? You can't play a computer game because your wife doesn't like them......? Are you married... or are you living with your mother? How sad.
Gaminguitarist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He obviously needs to toughen up before she decides to cheat on him.
69Fartman69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With her personality, I highly doubt she would have many takers. I've never cared for her... But I have another friend who is exactly the same. I couldn't get him to even come watch Ant-Man in Imax with me, with me even offering to pay for his ticket! I miss the military. That's the best friends I've ever had.
Gaminguitarist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like they're introverts. Meh, it's their natural behavior.
69Fartman69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:00 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
probably, he seemed very concerned if there were gonna be people there... people at an Imax movie on a weekend day..... I'm 33, and this guy I've known since I was 5, I grew up across the street from him. I think in the 10 years he's been married, I've gone to lunch with him, when I drive to him, nothing else, and he's never even seen one of my apartments I've lived in. Anyways, sleep!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:12:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Cytokine-Storm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a card carrying member of the grammar Gestapo, this bugs me to no end.
Tarty_McShartFarts ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:18:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1) Keep calm and "insert stupid fuck face noise"
2) At the end of the day...
soorr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:20:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
When someone starts their speech off with "False." "Question." Or even sometimes, "Funny story." I can already tell you're snobby and they think their time + the little effort it would take to form a few extra words is more important than everyone else. It just sounds disrespectful to me. Maybe I'm strange.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:24:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who refer to pregnancy as "preggers". I hope you miscarry.
MrFoenBox ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:26:19 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like O.M.G I like totally..."
โขMrFoenBox reaches to snap persons neckโข
vyasrx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:27:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason. No. Sometimes things just happen.
SmokeMethInhalesatan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you proceed to snack em, and when they ask why you say "everything happens for a reason"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:27:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The Beatles weren't that good."
ssp5097 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:29:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drives me insane when someone says that's gay or that's retarded. So offensive to so many people.
thomt94 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:29:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a vegetarian, perhaps the most annoying one is "humans are meant to eat meat" or something similar. Maybe we are, maybe we aren't, but either way I don't give a shit. I can't understand how some people can justify trying to prove me wrong about my own moral standpoint that affects nobody else....
... "Have you never tasted...?" NO, I HAVEN'T. GET DIRECTLY TAE FUCK
HateCopyPastComments ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:30:40 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says something vaguely funny or interesting and someone says, "OMG I AM DYING!" Also when people say, "Shut up and take my money!" The whole point of that Futurama thing is that he is an idiot and a sheep. And it also bugs me because most of the things people say this about, are for sale somewhere, so no YOU shut the fuck up and go and buy it from their website.
Vampire_Deepend ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:30:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's surprising how many teenagers (and maybe adults, that's not my area of expertise) still refer to something that they find stupid or useless by saying "that's gay" it's disgusting and I instantly lose respect for that person.
Just-An-Asshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:26 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that's gay.
Vampire_Deepend ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:00:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, what an asshole.
Just-An-Asshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:53 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:32:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Every time the U.S. Mint changes the way the currency looks, for months I loathe listening to mouth breathers quip over and over:
"It looks like Monopoly money to me!!!"
They always state it real fucking loud and proud, like they're the first person to ever say it. I hate everyone who says it. Of course I have to mask my rising anger fake a laugh because I'm in the midst of taking their money in a sale or making a loan with exorbitant interest so I have to go along with making them feel good about taking their money.
I think this hatred is also intensified because I have to be reminded of the existence of the Monopoly game, the most overrated, shitty board game in the world.
RonwaldGregory ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:32:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is literally (insert word here).
DylanRoofsGhost ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:39:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Its okay as long as it is between two consenting adults."
chewbacca81 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:41:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Dude, wouldn't it be cool, if the Holocaust happened, like, for real?"
...Okay, I don't often hear that phrase.
But anything that ends in "And his name? Albert Einstein." is a good candidate.
illythid15 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:41:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
call me "brah" or "bro" and I immediately think you're an idiot.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:44:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't be depressed, kids in Africa have it worse than you!"
shadowanddaisy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:46:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a nice guy." Or, "I'm a nice person."
If you have to tell people this then you're not.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:46:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be the bigger person and apologize first."
.... can't stand that one.
PoliteAnarchist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:47:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a vegitarian but I still eat bacon, fish and chicken..." No. You either do or don't - not both.
Ben_Affleck ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:48:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sales people ' CAN I HELP YOU?!"
randomhero828 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:52:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't mean to be racist but...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:54:54 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who says any of the flowing, YOLO, OMG, WTF, TGIF, G2G, BRB, or any other acronym when it is socially acceptable to say the actual phrase. BSTL is ok though.
megso16 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:55:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I haaaaaate drama." Shut up.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:57:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's retarded"
_stayhuman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:09:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Lemme ax you a question." That's a dead giveaway you're an ignorant fuck.
avatar77 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:11:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I went to college in Boston."
Yeah, you went to Harvard. False humility does not make it better.
PanzerKpfwVI ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:13:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"I'm socially liberal, but I'm fiscally conservative." No motherfucker, you're not. Learn about economics and social policy before making yourself sound like an idiot.
Justin__D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, so I believe in low taxes, but also in legal same-sex marriage and drugs. I also think the military is a colossal waste of money (as part of the "I don't like taxes") thing. What does that make me?
I'm sorry I don't fit into your false Democrat/Republican dichotomy.
baseddrew ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:13:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I listened to xavier wulf and Chris travis and I hate them" I've never heard that sentence and never will.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:16:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Anything but rap or country"
I don't like black people music, and to hide the fact that i'm a racist, i'll say that I dont like country music either...
xodiach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Some people just don't like rap or country.
saraboulos ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:18:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate stupid people.
TaiBoBetsy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:25:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
โblood coming out of herโฆwhateverโ
And I'm pretty anti-PC myself.
Sloppyjones ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:26:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone pronounces frustrated as fustrated.
tf1ynn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:27:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when you ask a question, and the person responds with "yeah, no....."
baltz34 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:27:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
''What is a phrase that makes you instantly dislike someone strongly?''
SirLockHomes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:31:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is a phrase that makes you instantly dislike someone strongly?
fatprideworldwide ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:31:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is. Game changer. I'm not racist but
TheGentlemanWalrus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:31:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "listen" even when i'm clearly bloody well listening to them already. What the hell are you, Navi?
lookslikeyoureSOL ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:34:13 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T UPVOTE
Splitforthecity ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:46:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God bless you.
nightmareuki ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:49:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black Lives Matter
Cascadianarchist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:55:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, if the invisible hand of the market dictates that..."
I'm sorry, when did economics turn into religion? Capitalism isn't dictated by a natural force like gravity, it's all chock full of manipulations and forced hierarchies and crap.
maralieus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:57:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't like it you can get out!" when talking about the USA.
westside_native ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:57:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
something something "black people blah blah blah"
weezermc78 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:58:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not like other girls"
Shut up. Yes you are.
OhYesFood ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:03:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
N**ga. Or the n word. I have a REALLY hard time hearing that, especially from people who are not black. (I am white.)
olouminatii ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:08:14 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go on a date with someone or just meet them and the first thing they say is "DTF" .. It really turns me off .. Idk super annoying and makes me dislike the person a lot=.=
GonZoCircus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:08:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I support gun control."
ray_pape ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:14:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I love my haters"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:17:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"if I can play devil's advocate..." Do NOT. SHUT UP. don't start an argument for the sake of arguing. And in my experience the people who say this make the lamest, ill-informed arguments.
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:57 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you are the problem. Having a devil's advocate in a group is important because it forces people to critically think on a topic.
There's a reason governments have two sides, it's so they can argue in case the original proposition is flawed in some way. This way we can eliminate mistakes and come a little closer to perfection. This can be applied in pretty much any context where somebody decides to be the devil's advocate.
If you can't handle a view that isn't the same as your own, the problem might not be the other person.
Novogrod ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:22:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pregnant.
Fuck that shit.
SurpriseButtStuff ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:30:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Last week at church..."
hearmenowornever ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:31:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is. Thanks dickbag.
SteveStrummer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:31:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gamers who say someone "got raped".
ButtSackButtSack ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:31:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I believe in gender roles."
Actually spoken by a coworker.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:38:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I listen to all kinds of music" what the hell is that supposed to mean?!?
joelzwilliams ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:42:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is". That is the dumb or cowardly person's way of referencing something without attaching an identifiable causality for an event because they are either uncertain or ambivalent as to what actually caused it.
"You're 35 and still living in your parent's basement.", "It is what it is, man".
TribalDancer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:43:59 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It was about ethics in gaming journalism."
CarrionSymphony ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:49:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Triggered"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:49:34 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a vegan...
jedi3881 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:55:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chillax. It's like friggen nails on a chalkboard. I instantly know I'm not going to like you!
slurredspeech ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:01:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People that begin their response with "So."
It doesn't belong there.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:01:50 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any phrase that uses the worth 'problematic' in a serious tone. I fucking hate that word.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:07:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I practice English with you" When it's one of the first sentences they say after you meet a local Chinese or Hong Kong person.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:12:48 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Black lives matter"
Throwaway412931289 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:19:22 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" I don't care if it offends you " or anything along those lines. At best you're a faux-edgy try hard, at worst you're an inconsiderate piece of shit who should have never left the house. Learn how to behave in public and the absolute basics of socializing or stay the fuck home, and off the internet for that matter.
hsfrey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:22:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't tolerate the give and take of a free society, YOU're the one who needs to saty home!
Throwaway412931289 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:49 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being told that you need to shut the fuck up when you say something incredibly inappropriate or inconsiderate isn't literally like 1984, I don't understand why people like you seem to think that it is. Learn how to be an actual human being instead of falling on back on the "BUT ITS MUH FREEDOM OF SPEECH TO BE A COCK, YOU'RE LITERALLY HITLER" nonsense or you're going to have an absolutely miserable time in your non internet hugbox life unless you surround yourself with equally socially crippled people.
jrm65 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:25:51 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It is what it is" NO SHIT IT IS WHAT IT IS, WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE? People say this as if its some wise saying but its just repeating whats been stated. Another one is "That's just your opinion" after being in an argument. AGAIN WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE? YOU SOUND SO STUPID BY SAYING THESE THINGS. Ends Rant
Karensky ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:26:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I am no racist, but...' No, you are and I want to punch you now.
mr_chip ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:28:56 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Redskittle666 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:31:45 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love Justin Bieber
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:40:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me explain to you how obama's economic policies actually are good for America.
Fistfullafives ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:01:06 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything vegan, feminism, or crossfit.
Osarion62 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:02:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, as a vegan...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:08:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I get a [insert product]?
No, you can't โ someone else will get it for you.
ak4733 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:19:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Military here, and I hear this ridiculousness constantly: *side of the house, as in "on the training side of the house", *piece, as in "we need you to take care of the training piece", *dual-hatted, as in "I do evaluations and training, I'm a dual-hatted douchebag like that", *offline, this typically happens during a briefing when someone is asked a question they can't answer: "good question, sergeant, we'll talk about that offline", so many more.....
Edit: Hear, not here (I dun been did had a cuppla dranks)
RightSaidJames ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:22:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, it's about ethics in games journalism.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:52:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"1 liek 1 pryr 4 mikull brauwn"
clomjompsonjim ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:59:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any motivational quote, and anything to do with certain foods being bad for you
Just started a new job and my coworker is "that" guy. He will reel off ten motivational quotes in a row and god help you if he catches you drinking a coke because he'll be off on a spiel about his dream to e an entrepreneur and start a health food business and then he tries to sell you nutribullet. He's also "that guy" who wears a tie everyday when the dress code is smart casual. And takes notes, constantly. Ugh.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:05:17 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ich bin ja kein Nazi, aber..." ("I'm no nazi, but...")
Yes, you fucking are! Whatever follows the "but" is utter bullshit. Always! Immediate disqualification.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:49:32 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:47 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is indeed. And it's totally stupid bullshit because in 99,9% it's followed by something only a lame-o neo-nazi would come up with. Have experienced it just recently. Some acquaintance got her car broken in and caught the fucker in act, a few days ago. He ran away but she managed to recognize him as a foreigner. As we were talking about the break-in she once said like "I'm no Nazi but those fucking refugees come here to live like a bee in clover. And then they break into our cars and steal our stuff!" as if every refugee decided to give up on their luxurious lives in their peaceful homes and leave a better part of their families and friends just to come to us and steal our stuff... It's so fucking retarded... I was so startled that I just didn't know what to reply...
JumpingBean12 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:08:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus F Christ... can't stand or anything with the F word
tornadoseason ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:05:55 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Artsy-fartsy Mumbo jumbo Hippy dippie
narcissa_malfoy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:26:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pronouncing the "H" in "when", "who", "where", "what".
Mensabender ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:33 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How would that even work?
Would one pronounce it like wa-hen or something?
narcissa_malfoy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:55:27 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hwen
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:18 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now you're just being hweird.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:30:22 on October 2, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anyone who mocks triggers, eg: "oh, did i TRIGGER you??? i'm so #TRIGGERED." no, dude. psychological triggers are serious issues. if you mock them i immediately assume you're an arsehole.
1dundundun ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 03:58:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All Lives Matter
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:24 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
strangely enough they do
1dundundun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.dailydot.com/opinion/all-lives-matter-gets-racism-wrong/
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, pure and utter bullshit, all lives matter, you are not special because of your skin color, either way. you choose to endanger the life of a police officer - you chose for your life NOT to matter right then and there, the officer is simply doing you a professional courtesy by taking you out.
dzoni1234 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 02:08:44 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm gay."
Yeah, no, get away from me.
Go ahead reddit, I answered the question, now downvote me you liberal peasants.
Gaminguitarist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well....wouldn't hurt to have an open mind than to rely on prejudice right? Guess not...
dzoni1234 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:46 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, its not that, I honestly have nothing against them. They can do whatever they please. But if they were exposed to my group of friends, or my family...they would end up dead or severally beaten. So its best for them to stay the hell away from me.
Gaminguitarist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhhhh. Then dude why did you make it sound as if you hated them. I mean...you said liberal peasants so obviously someone would think you're homophobic from that phrase. but I see now that you're just keeping them away for their sake.
dzoni1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because its reddit, you're one of the few people that will read this and understand it. To most people here, I am simply dismissed as bible waving anti-homosexual southerner from the united states or some other backwards part of the world.
Whereas, I'm an atheist, have nothing against them, and am from Canada.
CraneAndDragon ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:16:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sanders for president.
deamont ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:20:41 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yah I'd totally rather have a president who gets rid of womens healthcare and hates black people, mexicans, pretty much anyone who is not white.
Wisc_Bacon ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 17:37:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I voted for Obama"
Geekatlrg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:26 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i am sorry
Wisc_Bacon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm over it. I blame it on Bush. =D
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:02:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Snabe121 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah!!! FUCK APOLOGIZING... are you 6?
chambertlo ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:59:09 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"hip-hop is an art form".
No it fucking isn't.
CatOnAHotThinGroove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:02 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why isn't it?
sufferationdub ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I identify as (fill in the blank)" is a huge red flag for me. Chances are you are unbearable if you use that phrase.
HawkeyeHero ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:48 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any commenter or poster who uses "whilst" in their response. Ugh, such a neck-beardy cringe word.
--ForTheWatch-- ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fuck the police!"- Don't break the law and they'll leave you alone.
spacesmellsweird ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not /all/ men..."
loldawg8 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My name is Donald Trump."
CrabbusPiratus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good one, edgelord.
Nallenbot ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:34 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What is a _______ that instantly makes you ________"
nothingbutmistakes ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:24 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In response to "Thank you.":
"No problem."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
nothingbutmistakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:55 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never thought about that. I just might.
plugrugrack ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a visual learner.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:59 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I support the police no matter what!"
Dougdahead ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Yea, if you could go ahead and....."
zouppp ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im bi.
Snabe121 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:15 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah! sexuality isn't a real thing. You're either gay or straight
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:13 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"___ is problematic"
peterpantheman ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:07 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" First I smoke a cigarette, then get the pussy wet"
FissureKing ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:17 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Have a blessed day"
Ugh, do you have to inject your religion into every interaction? Isn't that a brainwashing technique?
Edit: In an effort to increase the downvotes on this one I would like to point out that it is indeed a brainwashing technique.
Gurjasg ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:51 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ is our Lord and saviour
DarwinDanger ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people describe a situation as a "shit show"
Why the fuck would you describe a party where you and your stupid ass friends got drunk as a 'shit show'...were you literally smearing your feces on the walls and making a display of it? If so...fuck off...if not...shut the fuck up, and fuck off.
lookatmetype ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:16 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"As a white guy..."
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:31 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"stop being so oversensitive"
"people are offended so easily"
"get over it, it wasn't serious"
"it's your fault if you're offended"
why not just have some basic respect for other people and take responsibility for your words and actions
Para_Noia ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"You can't be a good person without god"
This irks me more than antrying else
"I just donated a kidney to a boy with cancer"
"really? Now he has the organ of a heathen you've doomed him to hell you filthy atheist"
It's just like....dude wtf
*edit (fixed the extra "a" that was added when i typed on phone)
Tubaka ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:10 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Gamer" you wouldn't call yourself a movier let alone make it your identity, why would you do it for games?
Apdodopa4 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:12 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a female says "i'm not an easy fuck so don't even try" or something similar.
I just go in my head "not this shit again, another lying chick"
It just bothers me for some reason that they always say that, then rip my clothes off every time 1st date.
End up smashing the 1st date every. single. time.
earthcharlie ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:27 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What's that now?"
or any internet speak. You're not on the internet right now dipshit, you're at a Kenny G concert.
heirofathena ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who fucking tells me to go make them a sandwich.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:43 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"There ya go"
Its basically just a rubber-stamp phrase that means they werent listening to you or are just too dumb to analyse what you said and formulate an actual response.
Twirrim ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:30 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"All lives matter". Yes, you stupid idiot, no one is claiming otherwise. If you don't have the wit to realise just how wrong you are, STFU.
Gaminguitarist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:52 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But....people are claiming? Saying "#blacklivesmatter" only promotes the importance of black people's lives.
ksettle ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:37 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I prayed for XYZ," implying that you only get things if you pray. I don't know if its more grating that they don't recognize their own privilege or the implication that believing in the tooth fairy means more than someone else's hard work and sweat.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:23 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crossfit is exercise
Just-An-Asshole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:05 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya it seems like elitist gym rats bag on crossfit but I've never once heard any compelling argument as to how it isn't exercise.
JFosters ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:20 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a game.
Master_Debater123 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:36 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Health at Every Size" "Some people just have fat genes" "Counting calories doesn't work for everyone"
Any one of the above.
apuritan ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:21 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't Talk about my Son!" - lol
Double-Portion ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:58 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SJW
Gwarnine ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:29 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black lives matter.
Seems like reverse racism to me, all lives matter would have been the way to go
Essexal ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 17:42:50 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'I'm a feminist'
SilkenPoncho ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:25 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
White lives matter.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:02 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do white lives not matter?
SilkenPoncho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:25 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No they obviously do not. Whites are experiencing great injustice every day. It is difficult to whites to find employment, let alone advance to higher paying positions. And even when they do get work, statistical evidence shows that whites make less than black people! A disproportionate amount of white people are pulled over every day, just because of their skin color. And a white is more likely to be sentenced to jail time than a black person! This is the reason the white population far outweighs blacks in the criminal justice system. There are even groups of people that go around, in cloaks covering their face, that vehemently hate whites, and historically have been responsible for violent acts against them. And they are allowed to publicly demonstrate to this day.
Obviously none of the above is true, and it is blacks that are affected in such ways. Whites have always had the advantage, and there has never been a question that "white lives matter". Only when blacks starting voicing the rhetoric, to bring attention to the fact that their race is written off and unjustly treated, did whites start spewing their own version, like a whiny child that doesn't get first place.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:10:21 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
White lives matter
MensRightsActivia ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"that's just the way it is!"
Protector12 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't do the pledge." "Or I don't stand up for the flag."
I know you may be religious, you may be anti-American, or you may just be lazy. But it's something as Americans we do to just say, "Thank you." We live in a great country and we can live here because of the people who fought for our country. That flag represents them. And when these people died or the flag, the one that you aren't standing up for, they are dying so you have the right to not stand up for it. Isn't that strange?
So why don't you just stand up and respect the people who fall for you. It takes ten seconds, and it's not inconvenience for you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:10 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Protector12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:38 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is something I agree with. "Under God" immediately causes tension with basically everyone reciting it. It wasn't like that when they first wrote the pledge. And Truman made the mistake adding it. IIRC
Bostonarea1460 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:05 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a woman's body she can do what she wants. In regards to murdering children
bigfinnrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:11 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Life happens between birth and death. You can't murder something that isn't alive.
Bostonarea1460 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:24:31 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope life is womb to tomb.
Would you say black people are equally human or do you also think they are less
blooylou ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:22 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"ALL lives matter"
Just no. Leave please.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:37 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you!
DCLX ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:33 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist, but... insert sterotype/ misconception/ media representation/ ignorance " Just. You ARE racist if you're even saying that!
p0tat07 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:46 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a hot girl tells you she likes girls. Especially if she's with an ugly girl.
aintnomarktwain ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:03 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"you're so racist towards white people!!"
uhhh reverse racism doesn't exist....
bighdaddie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:38 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who doesn't like another race is a racist. Doesn't matter if you are white, black, red, yellow or green. If you dislike people based on their race, you are a racist. Period.
aintnomarktwain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:08 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Racism is a system of oppression. What you're referring to is racial prejudice, which is attributed by systematic racism. But not what i'm referring to.
bighdaddie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:18 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In that case, come to Detroit and see the Black racism in practice. The city is 95% black, they control the power structure, and whites trying to move up are oppressed. Or Zimbabwe. The Blacks in power took over the land of the white plantation owners. Anyone can be a racist.
aintnomarktwain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:52 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i suggest you to look up the history of both detroit and zimbabwe. the majority of the white population in detroit left following the race riots of 1967. while the black people are the majority population and council member wise, detroit is still a part of the the united states, where whiteness is prevalent in economic, social and political structures. the british tried to colonialize zimbabwe and failed. why is a negative reaction to white people by zimbabwe surprising then?
bighdaddie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:17 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I lived the Detroit race riots of 1967 so I have a pretty good idea of the history.
bighdaddie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:35 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I disagree with your definition. Prejudice mean you prejudge someone before meeting them based on their race, religion, ethnic background, ted. If a person says something like "I hate white people", or "I hate black people" they are a racist. Every race has some racist people, which is really a shame. We are only on this earth a short time and there is no reason to hate anyone.
aintnomarktwain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:42 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
saying "i hate white people" has no effect on them in a major economic or political way, because the system has been built by white people to cater white people. i am not promoting hate in anyway but the colourblindness ideology is not the way to go. you must recognize someone for their identity, which includes the struggles they endure as a member of a certain race.
bighdaddie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:21 on August 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a whit person says "I hate blacks" they are racist. When a black person says "I hate whites" they are racist. When a Chinese person says "I hate Japanese" they are racist. When a Muslim says "I hate Jews" they are racist.
Just-An-Asshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:04 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well folks, looks like it's time to play another round of "Troll or Idiot".
aspiradream ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 18:50:29 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Stop it with this (insert non cis identity here) shit. You should be focusing on growing up."
Because I'm a young nonbinary and queer person, I get this so often that I'm almost unfazed by it now but still..
ohgoditsinmyeyes ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 23:55:57 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if you hear "politically correct / pc police / etc." or "SJW" run the other way. people that are intellectually bankrupt cowards that want to have zero accountability for their actions / words / ideas. they are the definition of cowards without honor. the same types that tried to make Obama's "community organizer" position equitable to fascism and other scary things that scare people with very little cognitive capacity that operate on not just low information but wrong information.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:37:07 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ghetto talk"
AmadeusWalentineEsq ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:00 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I play sports."
Regards,
Amadeus Walentine, Esq
kon22 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:11:58 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is gonna sound stupid, but I really dislike when people start talking about how much they hate something.
"Hating on stuff is bad, but IF we all think this is stupid, we can do it! Yay!"
And no, I'm not gonna hate anyone who does that and never talk to them again. But, jeez, is just silly and they'd definitely lose some points in my book.
Zen_Buu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:19:18 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A A man man
username4203 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:01:42 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bro
tehEPICNESS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:19:54 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything with "selfie," that word makes me cringe my patience away. It sounds so wannabe popular.
hazbutler ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:49:32 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Faith in humanity restored" Oh, so you can go on being a lazy, ignorant fuck?
andrew_m_nguyen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:58:04 on August 11, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Supposably"
parqueke ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:09:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do cross fit
Olia18 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:08:16 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who complain. Period. This is a fucking social media. Ask for advices or whatever you want but stop puting your life all over the placeeeee geez !!!!!